#and i am gonna use the word insane here because i can't think of another and i am - legally - insane.

[giantkillerjack]

Following up to say it should be done in the style of A Muppet Christmas Carol, in which it is

Not controlled by Disney,

Narrated by Gonzo and Rizzo,

Slightly (but only slightly) cleaned up for child consumption,

and a portion of the characters are played human actors doing their fucking damnedest to deliver the best dramatic performances of their lives.

Also, I want whoever plays Jean Valjean to be the best Jean Valjean ever captured on film. I want Patrick Stewart-level acting and John Owen Jones-level vocals.

And for the rest of time, everyone will just have to deal with the fact that the most incredible Jean Valjean monologue ever preserved on film is in fact delivered directly to Kermit the Frog.

Jean Valjean must absolutely be a human character I will not budge on this.

I also think Javert should be a human doing an oscar-worthy performance, but the rest of the cast is a mix of Muppets and humans playing their roles totally straight.

The student revolutionaries are a mix of beautiful humans and incredibly enthusiastic puppets.

The Thenardiers could be played by literal cockroaches. Or by Kermit and Miss Piggy, and it's an issue that Kermit keeps breaking character to try to be nicer than the script calls for, and Piggy is like GET IT TOGETHER, KERMIE. (Or maybe they're Marius and Cosette? Either way, what fun!)

I hope in some alternate universe, this could be done right. Or else if we destroy Disney, I volunteer to play.... let's say Marius if he's a human in this one.

That's right - since in this theoretical scenario, Disney is out of the picture, Marius could in fact be a gay fat Trans boi, and I swear I'd make those romance scenes less fuckin' boring. You'd never doubt for a second that Cosette and I are in love and that it matters. This is the future we could have if we tear down the crushing giants that legally hold half our stories. Enjolras would agree with me. Also, I have the vocal range for the part.

Anyway, this is just to say that we should destroy all media monopolies so I can cover myself in mud and fake blood and sob in the rain while clutching the body of the Muppet playing Eponine. The audience, who at first were only here as a joke, has been totally invested since "I Dreamed A Dream", and they are crying now too.

Furthermore, Valjean and Javert both live because this is a kids' movie for everyone to enjoy (and the ending of the book is only happy if you're Catholic).

Valjean is saved in the nick of time, and he sits awkwardly at the wedding next to a grumpy Javert covered in a cartoonish amount of bandages (Gavroche, who also lives because this movie can't kill a child character, is the one to fish Javert out of the river - "Good evening, dear inspector, lovely evening, my dear!!")

All the dead characters are seen partying in heaven or else showing up Force-ghost style at the wedding for just a moment so Cosette and Marius can see them.

Bishop Myriel (played either by a prestige actor/actress or Sam the Eagle) gives Valjean a warm nod of approval. Valjean tears up with joy, surrounded by love past and present.

Gavroche is adopted by any number of nice characters. We see that while he has been given nice new wedding clothes, he is already getting them dirty as he sneaks wedding food to Gonzo and Rizzo as the credits roll.

Gonzo: "Aw, thanks, that's really nice of you!"

Rizzo: [mouth full of food] Yeah! You're a real pal!!"

It is all very silly and very beautiful. 😌💖

the muppets should do les mis

[ametrictonofaudacity]

Hi! I love your blog so much. I was hoping you could write what yandere!batfam would do if the reader just barricaded themselves in a room and does everything to make sure batfam can't get in. I hope you have a great day and drink plenty of water.

Thank you! I’m glad you enjoy my blog, and I am absolutely going to do a snippet for this!

Warnings: (implied) hunger striking, captivity, themes of obsession, violence, and threats of restraints as well as physically restraining someone.

“You know that’s only going to hold us out for so long, right?”

It’s Jason. You don’t respond, keeping silent. It was just another trick, you knew, to get you to open the door.

Not that they only needed a door. You’d shoved the massive bookcase in front of the window, shoving your bed in front of it. Your desk, and the final bookshelf, had gone to block the door.

You had no doubt it wouldn’t hold them long. It just had to hold them long enough.

“Come on, kid, think about this. Open the door, and I’ll try and talk the old man down from taking the damn door off it’s hinges.”

You hiss softly in alarm, because you had thought Bruce was gone. You thought he was away, in Nepal, in a business trip. Otherwise there was no possible way you would have been able to pull this off, you knew.

“You didn’t know the old man was back? He got a call from Dickiebird, he’s on his way to the Manor as we speak, kid. You really want him to start breaking down the door? He will, you know it.”

You keep quiet, fingers buried in the soft carpet, and try to focus. Try to breath. Bruce being here changed things. Dick being here changed things.

“Who’s all in the Manor?”

You manage to croak out, and Jason pauses.

“Not sure I should be telling you that, kid. I’ll cut you a deal, though. Tell me why you’re pulling out the anti-siege tactics and I’ll tell you some names.”

You shake your head, before you remember that Jason couldn’t see you. That was fine.

“No deal.”

You weren’t going to be explaining to them that you felt suffocated, more often than not. That they were always there, constantly hovering, a hand on your shoulder or an arm linked around yours. That you had so little agency that you felt you were going insane, on a good day.

“Then guess you’re gonna be in the dark. Head up, though. Golden Boy’s pissed.”

That manages to rip the air from your lungs. Dick was scary as hell when he got angry, scary enough that out of all your siblings captors, his anger would immediately send you into a near frenzy. He got fucking mean when he was mad, and he knew how to use his words to cut to the bone.

“What and you aren’t?” You taunt, frantically trying to stop the way your heart thunders in your ears and the way your blood pulses in your veins.

“Oh no, I’m pissed. Pissed enough I’m keeping this door between the two of us, because I don’t want to traumatize ya.” It’s- it’s almost cheerful, the way he says it, so matter of fact, but the words are phrased in a way that you know they’re true. Every syllable is tense and clipped, not quite grit out and hidden behind the easygoing bluster.

“Yeah, well, I’m also pretty into keeping the door between us.” You snap, because you are impulsive and dumb and holy shit you did not think this through.

You hear the faintest sound from Jason, and when he speaks again, his voice is sharp, sharp enough you cringe back and try not to panic.

“I fucking bet, you brat. What exactly are you planning to get out of this, huh? Planning on going on a hunger strike or something?”

The door rattles in the frame, and you yelp, alarmed.

A sigh, and when Jason speaks again, it’s softer. Cajoling.

“Listen. Bruce and Golden Boy are gonna be here soon. We can do this two ways. You either open the door, apologize to me for being an absolute menace and driving me insane, or it gets busted down, and you leave the room anyways, except with a lot more yelling and a lot higher chance of Bruce not letting you out of his sight for months. Literally.”

You bite your lip, hands fisted in the rug.

“I’m not opening the door, Jason.”

“Fine. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

You hear his footsteps leave. For a second, you take a moment to breathe, air whistling between your teeth, the AC loud in the quiet room.

“Open the door.”

You jump, nearly leaping a foot in the air, and the startled sound dies in your chest, eyes wide.

Bruce. Bruce was on the other side of the door, right now, and he was pissed. Pissed enough that his voice had that gravelly, rough quality it got when he was being stern and already mad as hell but trying not to show it.

“No.”

Your voice sounds small, even to you. You try to ignore it.

The door rattles on it’s hinges. It seemed, with a locked door and several heavy oak dressers between you and him, he was determined to move both. It rattles again, this time louder, and you shriek in alarm when the desk creaks. How fucking hard was Bruce hitting it?

“(Y/N), unless you want me to break this door down, open the door.” Bruce sighs after he speaks, and then breathes in, like he was trying to calm himself down.

“I know you’re scared right now. But just open the door and come out, and we can talk about why you did this, okay? I’m sorry I frightened you.”

You feel tears prick at the side of your face, feel the anxiety and the nervousness and the fear. You want to shake your head.

You don’t say anything, and he sighs again.

This time, it’s not just the door that rattles. The desk shudders, straining against the weight thrown against it, and the shelf creaks, then sways.

You’re smart enough to back up and away before it comes crashing down. Not that you don’t doubt Bruce knew you were away from the shelf, or he never would have risked toppling the heavy thing.

When he ducks through the doorway, picking his way over the shattered desk and shelf, you back away, hands trembling. He pauses.

“(Y/N). Why don’t you come over here so we can clean the mess up, and we can talk about this in a bit? Just take a breath, okay? Are you hurt?”

You shake your head. It makes some of the anger drain from his features, that you weren’t hurt, but you don’t get any closer and his lips press into a thin line.

“(Y/N). Come here.”

It’s stern. It reminds you of the same voice he uses every time you try and escape or fight with your siblings. It makes your stomach twist.

Your eyes flick to the door, and Dick, who was standing not far from the door way, sharp blue eyes watching you for any movement.

You make your decision, swallow, and ease forward.

Warm arms wrap around you the second you’re in reach, pressing you against Bruce’s chest, and you feel a bit of the tension in his shoulders unwind, just barely.

“This isn’t happening again, (Y/N). Do you understand me? What if you had gotten hurt, when the shelf came down? What if you had gotten hurt when you were in here and couldn’t say anything?”

Bruce was pissed, and he grips you tightly, tightly enough that you squirm in his hold, which only makes him grip you tighter.

“I wouldn’t have gotten myself hurt! It’s practically an empty room half the time, what could I have hurt myself with?”

God, you hated it when your mouth ran faster than your thoughts.

“That’s not what matters.” Dick cuts in. “The issue is that you could’ve, and we couldn’t have done anything about it!”

He pissed, practically spitting out the words, and you can hear Bruce’s frown.

“Dick, you need to calm down.”

“No! This is the fifth time this month they’ve tried something, you have to do something, Bruce! It’s stressing everyone out!”

You open your mouth to argue, ready to defend yourself because you hadn’t asked for any of this, but Bruce speaks before you can.

“I will.”

And suddenly you are far more preoccupied with trying to prevent Bruce from picking you up, twisting and squirming to get away, but he catches you easily. He presses you against him, this time the action restraining, and lifts, taking your feet off the ground.

The entire trip through the Manor, you are twisting and pushing against him, trying to escape. You nearly get close, once, when he was adjusting his hold and you had snapped your teeth at him, but Dick had lurched froward for a moment and it had startled you so badly that you had frozen, giving him time to readjust.

You’re dumped on a medical cot, and when you see the straps on either side, it nearly takes the both of them to hold you down long enough to get them on. Bruce looks pained the entire time, as you kick and flail, and when they’re both done, your arms are strapped securely enough that yanking on them does nothing.

“Stop. You’re going to hurt yourself.” Bruce frowns, and then sighs, moving the cot. You’re moved with it, and you glare. “This is only temporary until we find a more permanent solution, (Y/N). Until we can trust you not to be a danger to yourself, alright? It won’t last long.”

Dick doesn’t look like he agrees.

You don’t either.

[withleeknow]

letters i didn't send to you.

pairing: ot8 x reader (ot8 in the sense that there's no name mentioned so you can imagine whoever you want. imagine the whole kpop industry if you want lol) genre/warnings: established relationship, long distance relationship au?, angst, fluff if you squint. unedited bc i am insane word count: 0.7k note: trying something new here! dunno how people are gonna like it but i don't feel terrible about it 🤷‍♀️ a product of my emo hours and i needed an outlet and i thought oh hey why not just project this into a fic lol

as always, i’d appreciate any thoughts or comments you may have, and please drop a like and/or reblog if you enjoy reading ♡

navigation / masterlist / ko-fi

3:29am, i've been dreaming about you for years. stars and moons and cotton candy clouds on fire at sundown. the whole universe resides in your eyes, it's almost unfair. sleepless nights because you're not here; restless days because i can't wait for you to be back. the clock stops ticking when you're not with me. the magnetic pull gets stronger during the witching hour somehow. i've always been drawn to you, even before i knew who you were. you're the only home i'd leave all my haunts for. it's summer solstice in most parts of the world but not in our bedroom, not when the only way i can have you is through a phone screen on your pillow. your voice is trying to lull me to sleep. it doesn't come close to replicating one tenth of your warmth. to love is to endure.

-

i'm halfway through the day, and you must be dreaming of where you belong, by my side on a bed that's far too big when i'm the only occupant. or at least, i hope you're dreaming of me too. 1:19pm, i'm six hours ahead but days and weeks and months and years behind, still stuck in that airport where you left me for the first time. some days, my eyes get misty at lunch when i think about your alarm going off and your irritated groan as you roll over to make your phone stop screaming. other days, i don't have an appetite at all, not with you on my mind and the reminder that there's still oceans between us. when are you coming home? i know when you're coming home, and yet i ask anyway, as if it'll shorten the distance and make the time pass more quickly. to love is to wait.

-

saturday morning, but i can't stay in bed past 7:12am. missing you a lot tonight, was what you had sent while i was asleep. that's a little cruel for a good morning text, don't you think? it's not your fault. i blame it on the oceans, on the time, on the distance. the coffee is still brewing, just enough for one steaming mug but it would've been nice if i got to make two. can we go back to new york? we always say we would, but can we do it now? i'll meet you halfway if you let me. there's nothing that ties me to this place. you're always on the move. my home is always on the move. we were happy on that trip, right? my fondest memories of you. skylines and the high line. to love is to risk it all, and i would risk it all for you. take me home, will you? let's go back to new york.

-

the clock reads 8:18am, but the date is all wrong. you should be landing any minute now, but not for another two days. two more days until you're home, ten days that i get to be in your arms. and yet, all i can think about is your departure, about coming back to an empty apartment after you're gone again. i think about you leaving before you even return. the drive back after i've sent you off, it never hurts less no matter how many times we go through it. i can already picture the scene, it's almost routine at this point. your sparkling eyes when they find me in the crowded airport, your relieved sigh when i run to you, your hands clutching me so tightly like you don't want to let go either. it's always this damn airport. we should stop meeting like this. when the buzzing of my phone snaps me out of it, i know who's on the other end of the notification. a photo of your new polaroid camera, then a promise to make more memories to keep with us when you come back to me.

to love is to willingly weather this with you a million times and more. even if it hurts. maybe especially if it hurts. you're the reason i keep going. you're the reason why the sun rises in the morning. let's talk about new york when you're here.

all rights reserved © withleeknow. reposting, translating and/or modifying is not permitted by any means. [posted 02.07.2024]

[fungateshortcakes]

can we have some sub!logan headcanons during these trying times??? 👀👀

YESYESYES OMG thank you SO MUCH for asking this. I have been waiting for this and I hope I am meeting the expectations. I will just write down what I think, it's not rlly gonna be in any kind of logical order lol

You can find part 2 to this here

Sub!Logan headcanons under the cut!

So, I think we can all agree that he has a thing for pain (The cigar scene winkwink)

Because of that, he loves when you edge him

That sweet ache that comes with the denial just gets him going, especially when you order him not to cum while still teasing his balls with a whip

Nipple clamps are pretty much a staple and when he feels extra 𝒻𝓇ℯ𝒶𝓀𝓎 you get out the chasity belt as well

When he doesn't want it as hard, good old wax play will always be your friend

Be sure to pamper him afterwards though. Just because the marks you leave on him won't stay, that doesn't mean they weren't there. So go kiss him better!

Another thing- that man is a slut. So he will moan like one.

Don't get me started when he gets in heat

You know, animal traits and all

When he is in heat, Logan is an insatable bitch. He is sporting a boner everytime he just gets a tiny glimps at you and begs you to fuck him every time he has the chance

When he is like that, you gotta get out the big guns

BOYS, GET THE BAD DRAGONS!

Not the iddy biddy bad dragons toys, I mean the BIG ones

We are talking XXL

The ones that make you question where all of that even goes, how that could possibly all fit inside him

But it does - somehow. Neither of you really care because all what matters in the moment is how good Logan feels when that thing is balls deep inside him

It just soothes the burning ache inside him to be full and stuffed

It's insane how well he takes those toys without shame or any resistance

His ass is just so ready and wet when he is in heat that any toy, no matter the length or girth, slips right in

He loves the ridges and bumps on the dildos as they fuck in and out of his hole

He is going to be so fucking loud that by the time he regains his senses, he is so adorably embarrassed by himself and how he managed to make such sounds

When the heat dies down and he looks at the cabinet where all the bad dragon dildos are stored, he gets so embarrassed by how he acted just a day prior

Logan is also a cock sucking, pussy eating whore. Whatever assets you have, that man is either gonna deep throat or lick it as if his life depended on it

He swallows without a doubt

If you got a cock, have fun to get his mouth off of you because he doesn't budge nuh-uh

He will lick, suck, blow, take it all down his throat, bob his head, spit on it, slap it against his face, jerk it- anything you want him to do he will

The same for when you have a pussy

Just order him around and he will drink up your squirt, no questions asked.

While he also gets off to being degraded sometimes, most of the time you will score points by praising him

Call him your good little boy and he will melt

It's hard for him to be vulnerable around people and you are the only one he shows himself to like this, so don't break his trust!

He has a safe word but he barely uses it because sometimes you read him better than he can himself and know when he is close to breaking before even he does

____________________________

Okay, so that were a few. But I could talk about so much more, just thought this would be enough for now. It's never enough but I can't get carried away yet.

Please, gods of the sub fanfictions, what do I have to sacrifice to read about Logan getting pegged like he deserves?🙏🏻🧎‍♀️

[imgondeletedis]

~𝒊 𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒆 𝒚𝒐𝒖. 𝒊𝒕’𝒔 𝒓𝒖𝒊𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒎𝒚 𝒍𝒊𝒇𝒆.~ || 𝚊 𝙱𝚎𝚗𝚎𝚍𝚒𝚌𝚝 𝙱𝚛𝚒𝚍𝚐𝚎𝚛𝚝𝚘𝚗 𝚖𝚒𝚗𝚒-𝚜𝚎𝚛𝚒𝚎𝚜. || 𝚒𝚗𝚜𝚙𝚒𝚛𝚎𝚍 𝚋𝚢 𝚏𝚘𝚛𝚝𝚗𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝 𝚋𝚢 𝚃𝚊𝚢𝚕𝚘𝚛 𝚜𝚠𝚒𝚏𝚝 𝚏𝚝. 𝙿𝚘𝚜𝚝 𝙼𝚊𝚕𝚘𝚗𝚎

pairing: Benedict Bridgerton X fem!reader

a/n: that's a snack before the meal hehehe, this prologue is from the reader's pov,, the next chapters will all be from third person's pov haha,, also pleaseeeee benophie fans don't hate me, I'm not gonna hurt ur girl sophie dww hehehe. this is obviously inspired by the first verse of the song. I hope this mini-series lives up to y'all's expectations ahaha

Word count: 358 (it is js the beginning trust me)

Warnings: umm I don't really think there's anything to warn the reader is slightly insane (ig?) that's all but like aren't we all lmfaoa

The mini-series' masterlist

next chapter

𝟎𝟎-𝐏𝐫𝐨𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐮𝐞:

“ 𝐈 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐬𝐮𝐩𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞 𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐚𝐰𝐚𝐲 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐠𝐨𝐭 𝐓𝐨 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐠𝐞𝐭 𝐦𝐞.”

asylum asylum asylum asylum asylum asylum asylum asylum asylum asylum asylum asylum asylum asylum asylum asylum asylum asylum asylum asylum asylum asylum asylum asylum asylum asylum asylum asylum asylum asylum asylum asylum asylum asylum asylum asylum asylum asylum asylum asylum asylum asylum asylum asylum asylum asylum asylum asylum asylum asylum asylum asylum asylum asylum asylum asylum asylum asylum asylum asylum asylum asylum asylum asylum asylum asylum asylum asylum asylum asylum asylum asylum asylum asylum asylum asylum asylum asylum.

That's probably where I should be right now. Instead I am here, in the Canary Islands, in Spain.

so far away from London, from home, from him. The gossip flowing around is true. He's the torment, bless, curse, and love of my life. He's none other than the artistic

Benedict Bridgerton.

It's the year 1819.

Benedict Bridgerton got married 2 years ago. From what I've heard, he married that beautiful woman called Sophie, 2 years ago, he had a son last year, another this year, Which is funny.

Benedict and I always used to talk about how we'd both love and would be great parents to a girl. Together.

Now he's all married off, to another woman, and has 2 boys, funny isn't it?

Life may lack a lot of things, one thing it surely can and would never lack is the element of surprise, the dynamatic plot-twists,and turns.

4 years ago , I would've sworn to you that he was the one for me, honestly I still do think so, no matter how insane that sounds, I mean I know I can't say the same thing about me to him, because apparently he's content with his current life, but I am not with mine.

I can't exactly say I am happy for him but I do hope he's okay. Even if he's the literal reason for why I turned out in such a way.

You see you can't live without having a story to tell, an explanation to explain, so let me tell you ours, mine. And you be the judge of that…

taglist🏷️💓🫶:

@skyrigel @avngrssckr @preetrambles @ephemeral-oasis @basekpagalsiladki @ihateitheretaylor @littlebitb

another a/n hehehe: did you notice that i made her residing in the canary islands which was THE FLORIDA of their time??? (according to my research ofc) this is just a reminder that NOTHING IS A COINCIDENCE WITH ME. and ive learnt it from the best (catlady taytay)🤭🤭

[hyvksun]

Beauty and a Beat ~ Lee donghyuck

bf!hyuck # drabble ,,, 1 �� fluff ﹕ library

warnings : vulgar words, term girlfriend used, not proofread (just pure brainrot).

🐻 author's note ﹕this is based on a true story. for my finals in pe we had to dance rumba and chachacha and i swear i was sweating out of my mind. it was a group project but i still had to perform with a partner and infront of my classmates. enjoy this little drabble (my first fic back) while i rewrite the hyuck fic that tumblr just erased 🫂

“What if I just faint right now, would it give me a free pass for PE?”

“You'll be fine, bub I promise, so just follow me.” Donghyuck started off by showing you the steps for Rumba.

For your midterms in Physical Education, you were required to create and perform your own Rumba choreography. Luckily enough it was a choose your own partner thing and obviously you got to partner up with your boyfriend who is the best dancer you know.

“Hyuck, I dont know if I can even move my hips like that.”

“Sure you can you're just being shy, here,” He stood behind you, facing the mirror of the PE room, he held your hips in his hands and controlled them to move with his, “Your knees will bend on their own, you have to move your hips in figure eights, like this.”

Donghyuck is a strict dance teacher, him being one of the school's dance club vice president and student mentor you were nervous as this is the first time you'll be working with him in this field.

But maybe because he was biased and as his girlfriend he is being gentle with teaching you the choreography.

He kept doing the movement before letting go, “Ok you try.”

So try you did and it was awful, “I'm doing figure 1s, bro.”

Donghyuck tried his best not to snicker.

“Don't laugh at me.”

“Am not!” He's trying hard to hold in that laugh now.

“Ok how about we try to do the choreography first then we'll try with the hips.”

He began playing the song through the speakers and Donghyuck guided you into position. Throughout the routine though you couldn't get a hang of the steps and you commended him for his patience as you kept stepping on your boyfriend's feet.

“This isn't working, I keep stepping on you.”

“That's ok, here is the part where you spin,” he holds your hand up as you spot turn in place but when you try to get back into the first position you stepped on Donghyuck's toes harder making him groan.

“Fuck, I'm so sorry.”

“It's ok, I'm ok let's just take a break.” He went to pause the music and sat down on the bench with a hiss as he tried moving his toes.

Feeling bad you knelt down to rub at the sore area on Donghyuck's toes.

Feeling embarrassed you almost felt like crying. “Hyuck, I don't think I can do this,,,”

“That's fine, really, let's do something different for that part.”

You shook your head, “No I mean, I just can't dance— if you wanna pass the class you can switch partners I really don't mind—”

“What are you saying? grades isn't what I'm after here.”

“This is just so frustrating, I blame the education system.”

“Look, I'm not gonna look for another partner, I made the choreography specifically for us to perform.”

You looked at him confused.

“I was gonna kiss you in the end for the highlight,” a smirk was planted on his face.

Your face instantly heat up and you slapped him on the knee, “Are you insane?! I'm not kissing you infront of our teacher.”

He laughs, “I'm kidding, but seriously I wouldn't want any other partner to do this dance with, Rumba is about intimacy and connection with your partner, would you want me to get intimate with someone else?” you shook your head no, “Then I'm doing this dance with you.”

“I hate you.”

“No, you love me.”

“I'm not kissing you for any highlight, hyuck, I'm serious.”

“What about a quick peck?”

“Lee donghyuck!”

© hyvksun 2024

[koukouture]

Kou's AO3 ffxiv fic rec list

I am so insane and I literally have only been reading FFXIV fanfics for like the past four or so months so here r some of my favorites

I will split it up into three categories: reader inserts, WoL OCs, and then yk fics with only the characters.

WARNING: I read lots of unsavory shit so please heed the tags in the links as I will not be going over those in this list.

*length of fics will be rounded to nearest thousand

Reader insert's

The Rise of Emperor Solus zos Galvus by amandaterasu

(Emet Selch x reader) Length: 25k Status: Complete (one shot) Review: You don't understand I think about this fic at least once a day oh my fucking LORD. 25k words just GONE in an instant I read this in like under an hour. Actually gigging and kicking my feet this shit bro liiiiiike the way this author writes Emet Selch... ouuuuughhh. I love it when a man is just so insane for his woman that he finds her in another life and immediately starts courting her. Honestly, this shit is just so good it reads almost like a historical drama in the best ways possible. Yeah it's romance (and smut) but it's also politics (kinda) and idk about you but those are my two favorite things. I now need a full length novel about Emet Selch's rise to emperor of Garlemald but yk what this shit is just as good. Bonus points for this author for introducing me to fanfic reading extensions to replace certain terms I will be using this from now on.

Tremble, Duck, & Weave by OwlEspresso

(Estinien, Aymeric, Haurchefant, Urianger x reader) Length: 31k Status: Incomplete Review: This inspired my current big project, Hellbound and yeah idk something about Ishgardian politics man. I'm gonna warn you right now a lot of these reader insert recs WILL be yandere/yandere-adjacent with a lot of unhealthy themes, general debauchery, and doves ranging from beaten to dead so uh... yeah. That aside, this is just a really fun time. Seeing everyone interact with the reader insert and all the different ways they show (or think about) their twisted affections... hnnnng it makes me a little insane okay. Also, shout out to pervert Haurchefant you will always be near and dear to my heart. We were ROBBED in the English translation

Captivate by samsaur

(Aymeric and Estinien x reader) Length: 41k Status: Incomplete Review: Remember what I said about doves ranging from being beaten up to dead? Well, the dove is definitely dead here, but it's rlly juicy because this shit really does feel like a horror story. I am not qualified to speak on it, but I think this is a great portrayal of Stockholm syndrome and the way it's written really puts you into the shoes of the reader insert and you kind of feel that hot and silent shame of being held captive like this. Also, one of my favorite niches of FFXIV fanfics is apparently villain Aymeric. Idk why but he is so good as a villain probably because he had every single reason to turn out one, and he would be a far more terrifying villain than Thordan. If Aymeric wasn't our ally during Heavensward, he would undoubtedly be a huge threat to us and this fic kinda takes that and dangles it over your head. Because, yes, Aymeric is holding the reader captive but he is also helping Alphinaud and Tataru out. It's this balancing act where we know Aymeric is capable of really fucked up things but he is still playing at the perfect image of our noble ally. You find yourself yelling at everyone else not to trust him because you, the reader and his captive, know that he is a piece of shit in this AU and I think it's glorious. Uhhh Estinien is there too ig. It's no fault on the author's part but I just don't really vibe with Estinien as a love interest. Though, his dynamic with Aymeric and the reader is extremely interesting to me. I can't say too much without spoiling all the fun, but I think in a way Aymeric has him trapped under this thumb too.

I'd Ask For Your Soul, But It's Already Mine by Dotharl

(Zenos x reader) Length: 29k Status: Incomplete Review: Guys it's fucking Zenos PLEASE read the tags on this one. Anyways I love my porn kjakjfjkjakhshjfjhk. Okay but genuinely I always say this, but Zenos is surprisingly genuine as a love interest because he doesn't put WoL up on a pedestal and just loves them for all of their worst bits and THAT is the appeal of enemies to lovers. This fic plays with that, especially with the reader insert being a Dark Knight WoL where Fray talks some sense into them and helps them recognize their self worth. I won't lie to you, this fic starts out with VERY fucked up Yandere fuckboy Zenos energy with all of the dubcon included, but I kinda don't care + it's just genuinely well written at times. The dynamic between WoL and Zenos is very nice here, bc yeah it starts out... like that and then it evolves into mutual respect when the reader realizes that Zenos would treat them well and not yk use them as a weapon. Albeit, it does go kind of quick but eh, it's like 4 chapters so I can't fault the author THAT much. Besides, not to diminish the fic, but it IS pretty clearly just kind of a pornfest and that is A-Okay with me! This shit was also last updated in like 2022 so I'm pretty sure it's abandoned.

Not a Champion, Just a Knight by Kei_Cordelle

(Haurchefant x reader)

Length: 23k Status: Incomplete Review: This one is in kind of a weird position because this is an AU where WoL dies at the Vault instead of Haurchefant, so there isn't exactly any HaurcheWoL action to speak of. But, WoL definitely haunts the characters' actions. Bro, when I tell you, the worst part of this fic is actually Alphinaud being very NOT OKAY bc WoL is dead. He is just a baby what the fuck do you mean he watched his friend, confidant, and hero die in front of him???? Yeah sorry I love Alphinaud a normal amount. (that is my SON) Anyways, this is written in first person which is weirdly a turn off for some people? I don't get the hate tbh, because first person just opens up so many fun opportunities! You can break the fourth wall much easier and directly address the reader, and you can also have the vibe that this is a retrospective of what the character saw. The later is definitely the vibe this fic gives. It's like, if the Heavensward memoir was written from Haurche's perspective in this AU. To me, I like to think that this fic is Haurchefant telling the tale of his greatest love and regret in writing. I feel like the action scenes could use some work but they're not terrible. It's just that they're literally one to one recounting of the Heavensward trials and it's just not the best. I think there's also the issue of the cast becoming slightly bloated so it is a bit rough to account for everyone's actions during fight sequences. I really do love this fic though because I think it's really interesting to see how everyone is unraveling. Obviously, we as the WoL take on a lot of things that are almost impossible for everyone else so to see them take on the monumental burden of the hero is very interesting. How would our companions react to certain things? Since during most trials in canon we take it on alone, how does everyone else fit in? Are they all doing the mechanics correctly? All in all, solid fic and I am holding out hope for that fated final fifth chapter since the last time it was updated was back in January and it was started back in 2022 so one day I hope that this will be complete and I get to see the final mental breakdown as the squad completes Heavensward with the legacy of WoL looming over them ✨

WoL OC Inserts

Coerthan Traitor by Cascanora (@cascanora here on Tumblr)

(Zenos x OC, a bit of typical Emet Selch and Azem reincarnation messiness) Length: 190k (GOD DAMN-) Status: Ongoing Review: The author of this fic is highkey like a celebrity to me bc I gobble up their art like it's fucking Christmas morning. Imagine being God's favorite and being blessed with the ability to draw AND WRITE??? Fucking insanity bro. Also, their OC, Crow is fine as hell like one chance ma'am pleeeeeeaaaaaseeee goddddddd- Anyways onto the actual fic, I am admittedly only on the first arc which is kind of like the childhood arc ig. But I really love it so far because I've just never seen anyone really write Zenos being kind of young and vulnerable and playful? That's a lie, I think I've read like one Zenos fluff that I'll have to dig through my AO3 history to find again (bc you'd best believe none of my bookmarks are fluffly...) so I just really like the change of pace. Zenos is obviously always put in more enemies to lovers type scenarios so I kinda like this different angle because yeah maybe he was something resembling normal at one point. Obviously he's very fucked up for a reason, but he was a kid too. He didn't always go off about biting jugulars and drinking blood or something, he got fucked up. I am so far absolutely living for a lot of the political stuff bc as I've said before, romance with a side of politics (or vice versa) is my cup of tea and nobody pulls this shit off better than fanfic authors. I'm really interested to see where the political stuff goes but it's like 2am (sheesh) as I'm writing this so I will have to delve further into this fic later. Anyways can I take a moment to talk about Crow and Zenos? Because they're so fucking cute I love themmmmm. I feel like I'm coming at this as someone who has seen a lot of Cascanora's art so I see when Crow and Zenos' relationship develop into when they're adults, so seeing the early stages of it is really cool to me. I don't quite know how to explain it? But anyways I am raving about this fic bc I think it just builds them both up so well and again, I don't see Zenos written to be playful and yk act his age the way he does around Crow. They just work together so well and while at the point of the story I'm at they're definitely just friends, I think that's the beautiful thing about friends to lovers. Regardless if it's romantic or platonic love, Zenos and Crow are a package deal. Also, Emet Selch/Solus in this fic is perfect. I LOVE my geriatric old man telling stories about his past. I would go off about how I am very captivated by the whole Galvus family dynamic but I will save that for the other fics bc this review section is already super fucking long and you had BEST BELIEVE I'm scouring the internet for Galvus family fics. I lied I will talk about this a little more because this strikes an odd chord with me as someone who wrote a lot of my own longform OC x Canon growing up. I kinda shamed myself off doing that kinda stuff as I got older, but diving into FFXIV where everyone becomes fucking Shakespear with their WoLs has made me let go of my fears of being a cringefailure and embrace the OC x Canon. To see really well written and thought out OC insert stuff is very comforting to me bc I often worry abt my own OCs being shitty and not really fitting in but fics like this assure me that hey, maybe I can make cool shit and that really is the most beautiful part of fanfiction and fandom in general. Fandom is this incredible loop of finding amazing shit and thinking "wow, I wanna do that too" and it's just really rewarding.

Save the Last Dance For Me by lalahganaja

(Alphinaud x WoL OC) Length: 11k Status: Complete (yatta!!!!) Review: ALPHINAUD MY BEAUTIFUL SONNNNN AAAAAAAARRRGGHHHSJGFKJGSGKHJHJF. This fic is so delightful bc it feels like I'm cheering on my children to kiss. A'tahja is so fucking precious and her and Alphinaud just bounce off each other so well. This fic also has the other Scions making an appearance and I fucking love it so much. Found family will never NOT make me absolutely batshit insane. Like yes, Y'shtola mamma cat <3 anyways *chews on Alphinaud and A'tahja* This is just so insanely fluffy and it made me slam my desk every few minutes bc cute teenage love story!!!! How can I not!!!! Alphinaud just acts like an adult a lot of the time and gets put in a lot of adult situations, but in this fic he just gets to be a little guy. A'tahja too, obviously as the WoL she's often off doing insane shit that no teenager should ever have to do and bearing burdens that are too much for a little skrunkly such as herself. But here they just get to be silly little kiddies who are very down bad for each other and it's adorable. I think another thing I really liked was A'tahja getting more in touch with her femininity? Idk how to put. But basically she had really short hair for most of her life bc she pretended to be a boy while in poverty, so to see her be A) pampered and B) learn to take care of herself and be more girly was super cute to see. Also, I am just always really surprised whenever I remember that Alphinaud can drink lmao. Like no, you are a baby (I was the same age as Alphinaud when I started playing this game) put the beer down and go sip on a capri sun or smth. God. Kids these days...

Canon character fics (?)

and i'm your clone, your strange creation by egg(strwpup)

(Fortemps familial angst from Artoirel's pov) Length: 6k Status: Complete (oneshot) Listen to me, I love this fic beyond words, but for the sake of my mental health I will NEVER read this shit again. My daddy issues go fucking DEEP like this is utter insanity. Don't get me wrong it is beautifully written and I love complicated family dynamics- but by god this fucked me up so bad. See, I like to personally believe that Edmont was a good, albeit flawed father but his sons know that he loves them and they love him in turn. But I know deep down in my heart of hearts that it is so much more complicated than that because you know, we can't have nice things here at Square Enix. It just personally fucks me up because I too, like Artoirel in this fic, am a momma's boy at heart and I... kinda hate my dad lmao. Basically, I kin Artoirel in this fic. Oldest child who has it out for my father + hates that I'm kinda like him. He loves his mother but holds contempt for his father, perhaps unfairly but can you blame him? (yeah I'm not only describing Artoirel here...) Edmont is a less than stellar father in this fic but you can tell he loves his kids and aaaaaaaaa I'm tearing up again. The complicated family dynamics + the drama of what happened in Heavensward is just so fucking delicious bro. 10/10 this fic destroyed me in every sense of the word and I do not want to go through that emotional reckoning again. However, I will be writing Edmont as a shitty dad in my fics now. Sorry but I am always just so insane for that sweet sweet eldest child and father dynamic because it's always so disastrous. Having parents is just so strange.

mon corps, le mien; mon coeur, le tien by steelthighsvoideyes

(Aymeric x Haurchefant x Estinien with a side of angst + Haurchefant survives the Vault AU) Length: 43k Status: Incomplete Review: I also started tearing up while writing this review because Haurchefant just does that to me okay? I feel like with a lot of Ishgard trio ship fics Haurche is always kind of left out? Or, he feels a bit tacked on to the Estimeric dynamic. That, or he's just sitting there with unrequited love bc clearly this man has not suffered enough. With this fic however, it definitely feels a lot more balanced. Like yeah a majority of the fic is just Haurchefant and Estinien bonding in the hospital, but Aymeric still feels present because of their shared past and how it's constantly being brought up. (in a good way) All three of them get the spotlight so you don't really lean towards one pairing. Romance aside, I really like the Ishgard trio's established dynamic in this fic because they're just guys being dudes. Besties who were in the military together. Like, Aymeric balances the trio out, Haurchefant is the sort of boisterous youngest member and Estinien is gruff and sarcastic and the banter between the three of them just flows so naturally. It's an actual friendship dynamic that serves as a solid foundation for what will hopefully be a romantic dynamic later on. Once again, friends to lovers is so good for this reason because the foundation is already there. You appreciate them as a person and you are aware of their flaws from the get-go, so when it turns romantic you skip a lot of the awkward exploration phase and can just be comfortable with each other. Anyways as for the crying part- the Fortemps familial drama follows Haurche throughout this fic and it does make me a little, tiny bit crazy. Not gonna spoil it, but the way Haurchefant feels about his family in this fic is just so real and visceral because of course it's super complicated. Once again, I like Edmont being a good dad, but realistically, it's shades of gray. Another thing about Haurchefant that not only this fic does but a lot of other people also head canon, is that his selflessness and willing to give can be self destructive at times. Once again, not gonna spoil, but it's just super heartbreaking to read Haurchefant be almost hypocritical, telling his friends to take care of themselves only for him to almost completely disregard himself. That's kind of what he does at the Vault in the first place, like that man died knowing that he did the right thing and protected his friend and oh god I'm gonna cry again I should stop talking... (I am not even kidding when I say that I will eventually write a Haurchefant character essay...)

Unicorn's Favor by Neyasochi

(Aymeric x Haurchefant x Estinien, yet another Haurche survives the Vault AU) Length: 34k Status: Complete Review: So, this is one of those fics where I feel Haurchefant is kinda just taped onto the Estimeric dynamic, and that's fine, it's whatever, I'm here for the porn and the banter. The premise of this fic is that Haurche helps get Estinien and Aymeric together and then smutty gay things happen. And that's all well and good BUT I NEED TO TALK ABOUT THE FORTEMPS BROTHERS IN THIS FIC!!! *holds them gentle* For me, the best part of this fic was Haurchefant's relationship with his family which for a change, is NOT super angsty and complicated. It's all very heartwarming to see how in this fic the brothers get along very well (contrary to canon where unfortunately we know they were never very close) and to see Haurchefant really appreciate that he's still alive and gets to be around the people he loves more. It's just super cute and fluffy and now I just need fics like this in general. Yeah whatever it's not canon that the Fortemps bros actually like each other this much BUT IDC!!!! YOU NEVER SEPERATE TRIOS!!!! Speaking of trios, the Ishgard trio dynamic in this is yk it's fine it's whatever. In this particular fic, I find it quite cute that Haurche had a crush on Aymeric as a kid, so even if they aren't all buddy buddy in this fic there's still that lingering admiration and it's cute. I also completely swear by pansexual Haurchefant bc that man does NOT discriminate. Okay enough abt the French I will talk about the Italians (Romans) now.

Far colder on the earth than in the heavens by Altimas_Bane

(Galvus family things) Length: 7k Status: Complete Review: I told you I love my familial angst. No, I'm NOT okay. It DOES make me absolutely rabid that Emet Selch as Solus couldn't help but have some hope for the sundered because of Lucius because can you fucking imagine that??? Your son who gave you a little bit of hope for the broken, shattered people who replaced your brethren dies and that is the nail in the coffin. That is what makes you fully believe that they are unworthy. It was briefly mentioned in the short story "Through his Eyes", but Emet Selch had a little bit of hope for Lucius, and he was probably distraught when his son died. This fic goes over that agonizing feeling of watching someone slowly waste away from sickness. It is slow, it is painful, and it is gut wrenching. Idk man, just read it.

Son, Father, Emperor by January Blue

(Varis reflecting on his life and especially his relationship with Zenos)

Length: 12k Status: Complete Review: Heyyyyyy do you bitches remember when I said that Varis probably loved Zenos when he was younger but eventually held contempt for the monster he created? You all probably thought I was crazy for reading them like this BUT I'M NOT!!!!! Anyways fatherly angst strikes again (I am in shambles and this fic goes onto the list of fics that I will never read again for the sake of my mental health) LISTEN TO ME AND LISTEN WELL; Varis and Zenos' relationship isn't so black and white. No I'm not defending Varis- but come on the entire Galvus family is fucking crazy man. Anyways, to quote the comment I left on this fic because I do not want to repeat and retype it myself: "Varis, in a lineage of men that are strong, born into the arena that is politics, is WEAK because he is EMOTIONAL. Solus/Emet Selch calls him emotional in the cutscene he was introduced in (unless I'm hallucinating) and that SENT me because I was forced to rethink all of the information we had been shown of Varis until then. I wrote him off as a shallow villain but I did some digging and Varis is surprisingly the most empathetic in the Galvus household and it SHOWS whenever Solus berated him in cutscenes." Varis had emotions, he had morals he had a line that he would not cross. He has been shown to be merciful (when we parlayed with him in the Ghimlyt Dark) and it's known that he at least cared for his late wife, Zenos' mother. Obviously, he would extend that to his son at one point, right? Perhaps when he was still young and unmarked by the world- right???? See, I really like this fic because it frames Varis' absence from Zenos' life as unintentional, but at the same time, it does not absolve him of the fact that he is a terrible father. I don't want to say too much because I would very much like it if YOU, my dearest reader, took as much emotional damage reading this as I did- but I digress. Varis and Zenos' relationship is not as simple as "Varis hates Zenos" there's obviously some shades of gray here. I personally believed that there's no way Varis hated Zenos because Zenos' mother died in childbirth, and clearly, other people think the same. Listen, you don't just hate your own flesh and blood, at least, not from the very beginning. It's a slow process, and I know it in my heart of hearts that Varis regretted what he let happen to Zenos This fic is just so wonderfully written and I was actually kinda bouncing around my room reading this. Once again, major daddy issues, so maybe that's why I like believing that Varis loved Zenos once upon a time. Something, something, father's love their kids until they grow a mind of their own.

And that's my list! In the future as I make my way through fanfics I have marked for later due to spoilers, I might make another one of these because I think people need to read this shit!!!!

If one of your fics is on here please send me an ask so that I might go back and edit this to tag you!

[dangermousie]

I love little details like the fact that his voice is still scratched up and that he talks very little probably because of his damaged throat that he's still recovering from and because he wasn't in the habit of talking for years in the torture room. (I love love love how gradual changes and healing is for everyone in this drama.)

But also, she is so fond of him here - not in a romantic sense or even in any sense where she'd rely on him, but she has so much gentleness and kindness towards people despite her horrible life - she is pleased she saved someone, she's pleased he's grateful and useful. I genuinely love her.

Every time he gets so pleased to be useful, my heart breaks for him a little.

I found this scene so interesting on rewatch because I can see it's a part of her pattern - she doesn't want to rely and so she tries to wave any assistance even minor but if you push a little she will give in for minor things like accompanying her in the woods - and the fact that she doesn't expect anything and will push away to test even for a truly minor thing like this says volumes about her damage and her walls. But also it's a start of pattern with them where she pushes away and he gently persists, without being confrontational or in your face, but just quietly determined.

Love that his way to express his care is consistently practical, like carrying her stuff. It's interesting because we find out later he was known for all the arts including writing and poetry and music - they can all be fancy ways to woo a woman, but he has none of it, can't do a lot of it (due to injuries/lack of materials) and he doesn't want it either (since they are associated with his past and trauma and because as we find out later, he thinks he can't be as good as he was) and so his expression of love and devotion is the same one an illiterate peasant can offer - practical care. But that is exactly what she needs. She doesn't need words, they are cheap. She needs acts, they are tangible.

I mean look at this, he's just thorough, thoughtful and consistent in his care.

He is consistently FL coded and this is one of such moments. What she says is what someone says to a woman normally - his virtues are wifely virtues! (And look how pleased he looks at her accepting his care and complimenting him.)

And yet another example of her damage. He says he will wait for her while she gets the stuff and he response? It's not a proclamation of eternal devotion on his part nor is she going on a dangerous quest - nobody discussed eternal waiting but she just jumps into her trauma. It's like someone said "I am gonna run to the store for bread," the other person replied "I'll wait in the parking lot until you come back," and you bitterly mused "nobody waits forever." I mean holy moly escalation!

And the thing is, he does come into the rebel camp by himself, no weapons either, when she's gone for too long! That's insane. He's not the world's best fighter, he's still recovering, and he knows firsthand what kind of horrors can await someone captured and yet he has no hesitation.

[docholligay]

When you hear an accent/dialect/we're not going to get into that debate here that sounds 'odd' to your ear, think about that! Not even in a "Wow, I hate that" way, or a "I need to examine my classism/racism/etc way I am a bad person way, but in a secret third way called, "curiosity and openness to experience"

I was EXTREMELY EXTREMELY FORTUNATE to have a required class in college called "History of the English Language" which was one of the 'weeder classes' for the English majors at my school. It was very very difficult, but the man who taught it had an INSANE passion for English. He LOVED IT, he would talk about it all goddamn day, and it taught me so much about how and why things get changed and said the way they do, and it made me so CURIOUS about why something is unusual or fun for my brain to listen to.

So now, anytime I hear someone pronounce something or verbalize something in a way I think of as "odd" I get so excited and curious*. What is it I haven't heard before? Sometimes my tongue will move around my mouth trying to figure out how they make that sound (I am REAL bad at this. Accents are in no no no way my forte, which is annoying because I'm very good at HEARING them and hearing the differences between them, I just can't DO it) because it is so interesting and cool all the different ways one fucking language has been DONE over so many years.

Anyway I so far off track I am no longer a train, but looking at dialects as you might look at an interesting bug instead of like a pop song on the radio or a sign font is a really good way to start opening your mind to language as something other than a value marker. And that doesn't HAVE to be another way of whipping yourself for being a piece of shit--I assume you have plenty of reasons--but a way of going, "Oh, something unexpected!"

*Also not to attempt to introduce nuance on the 'no nuance we die like men' website, but I think there is a big difference between loving teasing and mockery/cruelty. I don't actually mind if friends, especially ones with VASTLY different ways of speaking, imitate my accent I think it's fuckin funny as hell! Jetty has the WORST rural western accent on the planet, and I love to make fun of whatever the fuck she's got going on there, but it is FUN and there is a sense of LOVE that comes with it. And it's not even a "well yeah, Holligay, when you've known someone for a long time" No no, I once sat in a shitty pub on the east end, now closed (rip) and me and my mom ending up striking up a conversation with two old-school cockney guys, and as soon as he tried to say "Montana" the way I did, the race was ON, and it was FUNNY, and we all laughed and had a good time, it is about attitude.

And I know I'm gonna get something about "well how do you KNOW and that is why i turned off reblogs but come on y'all, 9 times out of 10 you can tell when something is done with deep affection or camaraderie or because even just something feels cool in your mouth it's fun to try. I can't do 87% of the linguistic features I think FUCK SEVERELY (intrusive R, the way a word that genuinely does not start with the letter h has a different sound than a word when the h is uptaken (this has a fucking word and I cannot find it it's making me nuts)) but I LOVE them.

Quick quiz to help though: Are you affecting this accent to in some way sound stupid/ridiculous? We can go back and forth about that a little: one of my buddies says "well shiiiiit" exactly the way I do, for funsies, but it just...feels neat. What I'm saying is you have to use some discernment here and I know we are all allergic to that but give it a shot/go/whatever the hell Australians say for this.

Post script: All of this reminds me also about how I studied the phonemes and linguistics of English with intense fervor in college, and got REAL COCKY, and then in the Orkneys had my very first ever, in life, "We are both speaking English but damn" moment. Normally I am The One for this. I am unruffled. My wife gets confused by the word takeaway (she is smart I swear) but I'm rock-solid. Until. Hubris.

This guy is rollin on up in his van, which is the 'bus system' on Rapness, and it's cute as hell as a system, but I ask him something stupid about the timetable, and he answers me in what I can only describe as a Nordic-flavored Scottish accent. It is actually really remarkable and I went on a weird deep dive of the Orkneys afterward because I had never heard anything like it but I digress. I DID NOT GET A FUCKING WORD. And so, because I panic, I do what I always do when I feel flustered or emotional or angry: I sound like Yosemite fucking Sam. So now he can't understand what I am asking him!

Good news is, we both give a little bit of a laugh, I go, 'Let's try that again" and I do manage to exchange that this van picks up outside of the Pierowall hotel in time for the ferry.

[pardonmydelays]

clancy tour (watching a livestream) essay 🙏

anon, this question made me so unbelievably happy omg. i just can't get around to the eras tour essay, however, i do feel the need to write, so we're doing this instead.

for the context: i woke up at 5:30 today to watch the livestream of clancy LA show. no, i wasn't there in person. but mentally i was.

please, listen to this incredible playlist while you read my essay (no one's gonna read, it mark my words):

i have decided we will just go through the entire setlist. i don't want to make this too long but i wanna talk about EVERY. SINGLE. SONG. let's fucking go.

OVERCOMPENSATE

so this is when i started crying. who the fuck cries on overcompensate, you would ask... well, me, apparently. i honestly think this is the best opener for both, an album and a show. this song gives me so much serotonin i can't even explain it. i'm always worried about tyler tho because his entrance looks dangerous (the jump, the jump, I AM TALKING ABOUT THE JUMP!). nothing bad happened tho, thankfully. i also noticed he was wearing the other version of clancy jacket today, the one with the hood. not that it's important, but it kinda is. for me at least.

HOLDING ON TO YOU

ok, so if you know me you probably know this is my ultimate favourite twenty one pilots song. and the live performance is even better with the crowd stand at the beginning (i swear to god, it's so incredible to me how much trust tyler has for the clique), clancy mask and lightbulb mic (you can tell tyler has a lot of fun with it), and my favourite part - josh's piano backflip during the bridge of the song. fucking iconic. what's not to love.

VIGNETTE

first thing i want to talk about is the insane transition from holding on to you to vignette. honestly, all transitions are so fucking amazing on clancy tour, it's impressive. now, tyler's little dance during this song is one of the most adorable things i've ever seen (he is such a cat omg) and and and! NEIL BANGING OUT THE TUNES!!! i'll be honest with you, because of this part vignette became one of my favourite songs from clancy and definitely one of my faves from this tour.

CAR RADIO

another one of my favourites. car radio will always hold a very special place in my heart, it's so relatable to me. it makes me so happy that we have a chance to see it being performed in clancy costume (and clancy mask!!!). and when tyler teleports at the end! (also i think he's wearing a totally different jacket in this clip which probably means he has three different clancy jackets, i have no proof tho so i'm just gonna shut up. the video is from LA night one tho. not my show). here's another clip, you can see how he teleported here.

THE JUDGE

ok, so for those who don't know, right before every show the fans in their incredible outfits are being filmed while singing the judge together and every night they show a different video of them singing first verse + chorus and then after that tyler comes out with his ukulele to finish the song. it makes me cry for no reason at all. yes, i cried today too (it just makes me so happy to see all the clikkies singing together and they all look so beautiful always). so what happened today? content warning glitch happened during fan video, you can watch it here, then blurryface tweeted this:

i am losing my goddamn mind over this, people on the livestream were losing their shit when this happened, I STARTED CRYING LIKE A GODDAMN FOOL BECAUSE I'M SO FUCKING EMOTIONAL ABOUT EVERYTHING THIS BAND IS DOING. ugh. i was so right to watch today's livestream. something's gonna happen soon guys. they are warning us.

(i added CUT MY LIP to the playlist but technically it's the judge/cut my lip mashup so there's really not much to say about it)

THE CRAVING + TEAR IN MY HEART

the transition. the goddamn transition!!! it's honestly so fucking cool and probably one of my favourite parts of the tour. i absolutely love all jenna's songs and everyone who says they should not be on the setlist, fuck you forever. in this house we stan all jenna's songs. i usually cry on the craving and tyler is being so silly during tear in my heart - this is my favourite thing in the world. plus, do you really hate the sound of ukulele???

BACKSLIDE

ok, i actually started crying as soon as i realized we're singing backslide now. i love this song so goddamn much, it means the world to me. at one point it was my favourite song from clancy. the chorus breaks my poor little heart every single time and live performance of this song is so emotional... especially at the end when tyler is on his knees (the video is not from tonight's show but it's my favourite one from backslide, please watch it, his vocals here are INSANE). it's like crying for help. i wanna kill myself now. i relate to this song so much. also, backslide is the reason i decided to buy clancy tour tickets, so there's that.

SHY AWAY

oh, thank god this one is on the setlist. you know how much i love scaled and icy and i think out of all the songs from this album shy away is the best one to put on the setlist because the live performance is always so fun!!! don't you shy aWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!! the scream is absolutely fucking everything oh my god. actually, i just love when tyler screams. but don't we all.

HEATHENS + NEXT SEMESTER

ok, now don't hate me, please, but i was never the biggest fan of heathens (i don't hate the song, i like it, just not as much as the others. i probably wouldn't cry if it wasn't on the setlist). however, the transition (again!!!) from heathens to next semester is the best goddamn thing in the entire world and i am losing my mind every single time i come across any clip of this moment. please, watch it, this is everything!!! one question tho: i know tyler was playing bass on the platform for next semester and he didn't do that today, did he just stop doing this recently or is it because of what happened yesterday during the show? (not during this song tho, or at least i know nothing about it, but it seems like LA fans absolutely cannot behave and he was definitely being more careful today, more about it later tho).

ROUTINES IN THE NIGHT

oh boy, this is my vigilante shit for real. remember vigilante shit performance from the eras tour and how everyone was losing their shit when they saw taylor doing the choreography with this motherfucking chair? yes. it's basically that except tyler is fully dressed. which is even worse maybe (y'all know how i feel about his clothes for some reason). one of my favourite songs from the album, but after seeing the live performance for the first time i became absolutely obsessed with the song. i was genuinely scared today because this is basically what happened last night in LA (i swear to god people are acting like fucking animals) and i noticed that tyler was being much more careful this time: he wasn't coming so close to people, and honestly good for him. he didn't even let them touch him during this part. i can't blame him. i feel so bad for what happened. hope he's ok.

ADDICT WITH A PEN + MIGRAINE + FOREST + FALL AWAY

my favourite mashup in the entire fucking world. but before we get into it, please this is so fucking funny and adorable. so basically, before playing the mashup, tyler sat by the piano and he said "currently i'm temperature hot. so i would want to take my jacket off, i promise not to turn on all the dads tonight" and then this happened. poor guy didn't know what to do LMAO. he's such a cutie, please watch the video, he's so adorable i can't. he's also the funniest person on earth. back to the topic, the mashup... i am such a slut for their old songs and this mashup is absolutely fucking insane. the song i love the most out of those is, of course, forest. according to tyler, this song is so old it basically doesn't exist. fuck you, tyler joseph. i can't believe i'm going to hear it live tho, holy shit. i will be fucking SOBBING during this part, i just know that.

MULBERRY STREET

this is such a fun song to play live and one of my favourite moments. you can tell how much fun tyler has each time they play it, also this! this is everything!!! he's always so happy when this happens, he trained us well hahaha. it's so fun omg. can't wait to be a part of it. this has always been one of my favourite songs from scaled and icy so i'm glad they decided to keep it on the setlist.

NAVIGATING

get in, losers. we are entering the lore now. ok, honestly, this part of the tour is absolutely everything to me. torchbearer with his torch? and clancy jacket?? coming to pick him up so they can perform while dema is burning??? AAAAAAAAAAAAAA. oh my GODD. also, navigating is so special to me (i picked this url for a reason) and live performance of this song is fucking fire. watch it. watch the clip. just watch the goddamn clip, will you? we all know this song is on the setlist because of josh, so everybody say thank you josh. also you can tell tyler is very emotional about this song and i just wanna give him a hug. oh my god. i can't wait to hear it live. this will fix me (it will probably make me worse).

NICO AND THE NINERS + HEAVYDIRTYSOUL

the MOTHERFUCKING transition!!! i know i say this a lot but i am such a slut for all the transitions on this tour, oh my god. they are so good. also i absolutely fucking love how we're still in the lore and also, the visuals are absolutely incredible, and also, nico and the niners is one of my favourite songs (the one that got me into their music actually) and also heavydirtysoul live is INSANE and also-

MY BLOOD

ok, i'm sorry, i keep forgetting that this song is on the setlist. it's not one of my favourites (don't fucking hate me, i like it, it's just not my fave). i will be very much singing it at the concert tho cause it's so good live. not much to say about it tho.

OLDIES STATION

boy, here we go. so i started crying at the very beginning of the song and honestly i have no idea how i'm going to handle this live. i am so very normal about this song. it means everything to me. the worst part of it tho was when during the song tyler said "thank you so much for using our music. you've saved us in ways you'll never know". OH MY GOD. i started weeping even more. it's like... their music saved US but we also saved THEM and i need 3-5 business days to recover after that. good lord. listen, i love slowtown and i'm sad that it's not part of the setlist anymore, but i love oldies station a hundred times more and that was a good change me thinks.

FAKE YOU OUT + GUNS FOR HANDS

putting those two together just because i can and i will. vessel is such a great album and it makes me so happy that those two are on the setlist. screaming "our brains are sick but that's okay" with the entire arena is going to fix me, for sure. also, here's the clip of tyler messing up the lyrics (he basically went kjbufbfkkjejkebfkjk after that lmao). can't blame him. the rap part is so fast. i died tho. he's so funny, please.

LAVISH

i can't even begin to explain how happy i am to have this one on the setlist. it's the funniest moment on tour and i love watching them being stupid on stage. also, jOsH iS sHiRtLeSs. the walk, THE WALK LMAO. the best choreography you've ever seen. i just love seeing them so silly and happy and this is everything. i paid a lot of money to see this live. i'm definitely not gonna regret this.

RIDE

so the thing i love about this tour is that every single night while performing this song tyler brings a different kid to sing the chorus with him (it's the equivalent of giving the hat during 22 on the eras tour i would say). tonight we had an adorable girl named callie (if i'm correct). she did so well! also i was giggling so much when tyler said she's cute (he was giggling too hdshfbhekj). i just love watching him with kids, it's so sweet!!! also she had a great beanie with band's logo, i want one too. please watch the clip of them singing together!

PALADIN STRAIT

i was crying. i was crying so much, i love this song and the live performance is so emotional. i put the song bandito on the playlist, because there's this moment in the song where tyler is singing the bridge of paladin strait and josh is singing bandito at the same time and OH MY GOD. DO YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT THAT MEANS FOR THE LORE??? THIS IS SO CLEVER AND I AM LOSING MY GODDAMN MIND EVERY SINGLE TIME I THINK ABOUT IT. please, watch. this is sick as fuck. you don't understand. do you even understand? OR AM I THE ONLY ONE I KNOW???? i'm sorry i just can't i can't i am defeated i am absolutely insane about this part. also, the ending when they are showing the clip of paladin strait music video combined with other clips which looks like a flashback from clancy's life and his never ending battle with nico? the fuck??? and then we go straight to...

JUMPSUIT

the motherfucking coat. not gonna say anything else. just. the coat. oh dear lord. now i am temperature hot.

MIDWEST INDIGO

now my favourite part of midwest indigo is tyler taking off his coat very slowly. because he fucking knows what he's doing. but also, this song is so special to me. i know he wrote it as a love letter to ohio and i'm not even american but somehow this song always makes me think about my hometown. the live performance is so great. the beginning with the bass! he's adorable!

STRESSED OUT

"i don't want stressed out on the setlist it's so overplayed" kill yourself. i love stressed out because i have good taste. it's fun. it's a great song with great lyrics and you fuckers hate it only because it's popular. just shut up. shut the fuck up. in this house we actually enjoy listening to good songs. i personally want it to be on every setlist. if stressed out has no fans it means i killed myself. i'm dead. i'm gone. stressed out defender forever and always. also clancy tour version is incredible. just watch it and shut the fuck up.

TREES

again, i was so scared about my boys because of what happened yesterday in LA. people are fucking animals. i'm so glad, because tyler actually decided to call them out for this and seems like it was much better today. but still. guys please, behave, cause if you're not gonna start acting responsible they are going to stop performing like this. it's still insane compared to the opening night of clancy tour where people didn't even come closer until tyler told them to. i also just noticed now that tyler's t-shirt had black font today (the previous one had red font) for the first time. i think i was just too tired to notice this before. there's not much i can tell you about trees, because you just simply have to be there to understand. it's a perfect song to end the show (for those who don't know: they always close their shows with this one), it's something i experienced live once before and i can't even compare it to anything. i wasn't even crying. my soul literally just left my body. trust me, there's absolutely nothing like trees live. i can show you thousands of clips and it will never be enough. nobody does it like them. seriously. this is the moment. the moment of all moments. i am in fact crying now...

TO SUM IT UP:

great show. 10/10. would recommend. i'm going to see them live in 223 days. this is the thing that makes me want to stay alive. yes. i need to stay alive for this. whoever sent me this ask, thank you. it means the world to me. i need to talk about them because it's the only joy in my life now. they are the reason i want to push on through. also, if you made it this far, thank you. i love you. and i'm sorry.

[skayafair]

John and Agency

I'm gonna be feral about Malevolent about John, of course, who am I kidding here for some time (we're SO BACK, yaaaay a hyperfixation!) so buckle up.

Another recurring big theme I've noticed that got some developement after part 40 is John's agency.

The thing he has to struggle with for the most part of the story is that he's utterly powerless. A former god reduced to a mere voice inside a man's head an the sight of his eyes. An arm and a foot give some leverage but it's still less than a human even, let alone any supernatural being. And while John is ok with being human - he wants to, after all, - he's not even remotely okay with being less than.

He rarely talks about it, but it shows so painfully in the mines, when he managed to cut the monster's tentacle from Arthur's head. Arthur wasn't doing anything, he was too overwhelmed, and it was completely John's doing. He managed not only do something influential on his own accord, but also be helfpul and basically save them both. Just how happy he sounded about it sells everything one needs to know about how he feels most the time. And Arthur dares to call him a parasite and a passenger who just sits back and does nothing, ugh. Not blaming Arthur here, he was in another Situation, but. I'm JUDGING anyway >:( And later, when he stitched Arthur up - John was so frustrated at how little he was capable of and how much effort it took to do this.

Another time his frustration shows is when he's talking to Kayne.

John HATES Kayne with passion and doesn't hide this. That's a remarkable thing, actually, considering that he's also a very cautious person and is afraid of Kayne, feeling just how powerful this being is. John doesn't deal with fear well. Whenever he encounters something frightening, his first response is a freeze one. And Kayne scares the shit out of him. Yet, every time John refers to him, it's with very audible animosity. John knows full well how dangerous Kayne is and doesn't give a damn.

If he could, he'd have obliterated Kayne. But that's the thing - he's p o w e r l e s s. So many times John tried to threaten him in anger with "I'll- I'll- !" - only to fall silent, because, well, he can't do anything. Couldn't have, really, even if he still had full King's power. But this stark contrast with Kayne emphasises just how little John is actually capable of in his current state.

And in part 40 it was reinforced again. Only this time after his little developement.

I LOVE this new ability to manifest. YAY FINALLY! I had a Hellsalem's Lot a.k.a. Kekkai Sensen AU when he could do exactly that, so it made me laugh to actually see this in canon.

It should help. Now John can do more. We don't know how much more - is his manifestation only a vision or he can influence the material world as well? Can he manipulate people's minds the way Yellow could? (John would hate this.) In any case, this is still... something. Something real, something of his own. A way to show the word he actually exists, and not only as a voice inside Arthur's mind. All John's issues with this considered, it a great thing.

So, now he technically isn't powerless anymore. He has power. It's better, right? Right?

Well there's a catch.

John won't ever be happy to be more present if it's on Arthur's expense, and that's exactly the cost his new abilities come with.

So while technically he has more power now, it's a "last resort" kind of thing. He can't use it much because killing Arthur is not even in the realm of the things he wants.

Still... I think it should have been euphoric - even if only for a short moment - to gain it. To feel more capable. To have more power. It's not an insane amount, after all, and in John's case is a perfectly reasonable desire - more like a need.

But how painful and devastating it should have been to be reminded by Kayne that he's actually still just as powerless as he was before? That this new ability doesn't change much? Kayne knows where to hit and does it every time.

Like, we know John is more capable now, and it's really great! But that moment when he had to shut up because there was nothing to say to Kayne's "you what?" has hit me like a truck :''') That was painful, like a "know your place", and John couldn't bite back. He was already drowning in guilt and this just made things worse. I don't want to imagine how he's feeling after all this :''')

[shadowqnights]

hello there! i’m perpetually in awe of the scope of what you attempt w your mcd fics!!! i’m not sure if you’ve answered this already, but do you have any advice for writing Diaries fic? most writing advice is the same, but have you found anything particularly helpful to keep in mind when writing fanfic for MCD specifically???

hiii this has been sitting in my inbox for like a month and i could Not figure out how to answer this i am soo sorry. mostly because i get what you mean about most writing advice being the same and i've been struggling to think of how i would differentiate writing for mcd. sorry in advance since i know i yap a lot here and i'm not sure if this is specifically what you were looking for but ummm i'm just gonna list all of the things i keep in mind/like doing and if any of that resonates with you then its a win. i'm also really tired its like 2am but i felt like doing this Right Now for some reason.

[also i may be the wrong person to ask this because i'm a little bit insane and my mcd rewrite worldbuilding is about 10k in my notion now and i'm barely 1/4 of the way through so i don't really know when to Stop with my mcd scope HAHA. plus loverman alone being 500k. i tend to go all-in when it comes to the scope of my fics you mentioned haha so i'm wondering like. what specific parts of the scope you're interested in. if i answer this all wrong by all means please send another ask correcting me and i can try again!!!]

honestly i think my first thing does blend with generic writing advice I'M SORRYYYY. but truly it is just to read more. i was writing fantasy books before mcd fanfiction + i was reading a lot of fantasy books during my mcd fixation [yeah i know its lasted since 2016 shut up]. i really do think that reading and writing go hand in hand, whether fantasy novels or just browsing ao3, reading other people's work is an important part of my writing process. not only is reading a learning opportunity to get to know your own tastes and wants [and the things you might want to avoid in your own writing] but at least for me i get suuuper inspired reading other mcd fics. i may be picky with my tastes but also when i get inspired i get inspired HARD. too tired to link my fav mcd fics just pretend they're here and ask me later for them. when we're writing for mcd we already have to take a bunch of creative liberty and put the work in to fill in the gaps that minecraft can't offer, and the combination of mcd + fantasy world tends to have a lot of gaps. so reading more might give you some inspiration on how to fill those gaps.

-> by gaps, i personally like to think about things that couldn't be communicated as well in minecraft media but you now get to elaborate on in writing! your hands have this awesome gift of being able to fix the stuff you don't like about mcd and elaborate on the stuff you do like. you get to extend what mcd established in cool words and longer words! mcd fanfiction to me is a really [figuratively] sexy pitch of a show that you might struggle to otherwise recommend to someone in its original form, but trust me its good and the fic makes it sound good. so i guess this list is going to be things that i like to think about that make mcd sound good and appealing that flesh it out compared to writing something like mystreet. all of this depends on how far you are willing to stray from canon, whether you're diving into rewrite or just writing canon-adjacent fic, but in terms of fantasy worldbuilding to chuck into mcd, you can think about:

environment, how you would describe the landscape + even things as simple as weather patterns from region to region. get immersed in the world and use it to affect the characters. everyone's got different preferences when it comes to setting / environment description, and since i prefer character driven writing i do personally find it hard to talk about environment but that's definitely something that reading has helped. i'm also throwing generic worldbuilding in here ermmm fantasy novels love worldbuilding. you will love worldbuilding just like me [hypnotising you]. reading fantasy and getting immersed in Other worlds and taking note of the things you like about them might help you. we are going back to english class and we are going to figure out what the author is telling us here and maybe as a fellow author you like it and go hmmm i want to tell my readers something like that too. there are soooo many ways to get immersed into worldbuilding that like i would want to make an entire other post but errmmmm off the top of my head i like thinking about...

architecture! what does each town look like! whats its design and colour palette and how can you incorporate that into your descriptions [since colour will help you set a mood, establish time and just be a general vibe checker]. food! what are these guys eating in a fantasy world! and if you wanna go deeper every character is going to have a personal taste and even if that's not relevant for the fic you're writing right now the little things are still fun to think about because you can always bring it back around to character building. garroth's plain food tastes and total inability to cook for himself come from his upbringing in o'khasis vs laurance's love of food rich with spice and flavour because of joh's home cooking. dante spent a lot of time without a stable home and thus had to become opportunistic and abandon his previous pickiness. etc. etc. there are soo many ways to differentiate fantasy worldbuilding for a mcd fic to make it feel more well-rounded. also things like clothing choices, accessories/bags/inventory [think about if you could see every character's minecraft inventory - what are they carrying around?]. even just simply what the land looks like from place to place? what is the terrain? what minecraft biome are we in right now and how does that affect things like temperature/weather/appearance? is garroth ro'meave pissed because its hot as fuck climbing this mountain on the journey to find aph? you bet ur ass he is. make him suffer. umm you can also think about small-scale threats like minecraft monsters. you gotta have your small guys. highly recommend worldbuilding the nether too because like. the shadow knights are so cool. ermm. ok sorry i talk too much on with more stuff.

weapons, you're in a fantasy world and you can throw in some variety in weaponry that goes beyond basic sword and also bow and arrow if ur vylad. and also giant broadsword if ur aaron. also a good way to get into characterisation from character to character: thinking about how they fight. what kind of weapon do they have? what's their fighting style? you don't Have to give everyone just a plain old sword if you don't really want to. i'm guilty of not doing enough research on swordfighting before i write fight scenes but i also do looove to make fight scenes messy. some of these characters are trained to fight in a certain way and i hate writing their fancy feet but also some characters will not automatically know how to fight and if they get into a scuffle it might be a bit of a panicked mess! i think (hope) that my writing style tends to help with the frenzied kind of brawls that some characters might get into and how when some characters are threatened they might just blindly kick and claw and struggle. and others might just freeze up and some fights might just involve blind punching and clawing and rolling around because [i like it] i like the idea that even in mcd not everyone is cool and collected when confronted with physical altercation. even trained characters might panic a little and get a little bit sloppy and messy with their technique. others might lock tf in. i promise sometimes i just make things up and also i encourage making shit up sometimes when it comes to stuff like that. because there will be a point where you drive yourself insane trying to research a certain fighting style and if its draining your joy and whimsy and passion for the thing you want to write then take a step back. for things like that you can spare yourself some pain. on the opposite end of the spectrum some things Will require putting in the appropriate effort to research and learn about before you write & put your listening learning ears on if you're approached and told that you've written something harmful.

time, time passes a lot faster in minecraft but in fics you can afford to write time going slower and use it to your advantage. i'm trying to think of examples ummm making travelling seem more exhausting, injuries healing realistically, even mentioning things like seasons and weather and time of day to show the passage of time as a tangible thing rather than the fic being a tiny little character-driven bubble. mcd has a lot of stuff to do with time, eg. the irene dimension skip, but you can also think about character ages and how time passes through each season. minecraft logic has babies grow up in like 5 episodes and speeds things up for the sake of plot but when you're writing you can afford to be more grounded. if you want to apply exact logic levin would be at least around 3+ by the time aph and the gang enter the irene dimension. characters feel way more relatable when you think about mcd taking place over years + the 15 year time skip, even if you don't write that Directly into a fic, its a helpful gap to fill. i like to mention certain events happening over a matter of weeks or months to keep the reader aware of the passage of time and also put certain things into perspective.

injuries, things are gonna hurt. a lot. these guys are fighting insane style with insane weapons. obviously this one isn't for everyone, but i personally do like battering the mcd characters around a lot more because they're fighting with big boy weapons and, if its your thing, a fic can turn a minecraft slapfight real serious and mature real quick. i like writing gore and angst and that's not going to be everyone's cup of tea, but if its yours you can definitely think about injuries. put some research into how those injuries actually occur and how they work in the body + healing times! research how scars look and how they heal as well as long-term injuries. my mcd fics tend to play with body horror and gore and those help add to stuff like shadow knight freakiness and up the stakes when it comes to fight scenes and weapons because it feels like there is a real threat. that's an entirely personal thing for me because that looming major character death tag is Right There and i do kind of enjoy keeping up a constant state of fear. its good to feel like the world has stakes and consequences. and also i like making mcd bloody and a leetle bit darker which does kind of come into play with my worldbuilding so i thought id mention it.

ummm and finally speech/dialogue i think is the biggest one i keep in mind and its a big difference between my mcd and mys fics. i tend to write a lot more flowery (i don't know the right word) for mcd . mcd leans more into the fantasy genre and so i write mcd with a greater focus on world rather than character [i know i said that i prefer character writing before so just hear me out here]. when writing mcd i am far more aware of the greater world that surrounds the characters and even when its not explicitly mentioned i am Thinking about that worldbuilding. whereas when i write mystreet i am in a very character-driven hole and the greater world is not quite as on my mind. even canon mcd assists with this because the world is far more expansive and involves the divine warriors + mystreet doesn't incorporate that world until far later in the seasons and only really vaguely refers to irene as a swear rather than the distinct religious practices present in mcd. comparatively irene has a very constant presence throughout the mcd narrative from season 1 even when her lore was being retconned all over the place. beyond that Awareness of the expansive mcd world, i mention environment far more in mcd fics compared to mys fics. i set scenes way more slowly and take the time to ground the characters in the world and talk about the landscapes/weather/sky a lot oops and it really is because mcd has more of the natural world involved as well as very different architecture. i always like having the environment in mind when i write mcd. and dialogue i write very specifically far more old fashioned and lately i've been trying to make my mcd dialogue feel a lot more traditional. characters obviously are going to speak a lot formally and less casually than their mys counterparts, but i play that up for characters like garroth and zane [zane hasn't been back in a hot minute but when he is back this will come into effect] who don't tend to use contractions as much as ones like laur, for example. i've started drawing out their sentences a bit more, and i also tend to read dialogue aloud to myself a lot to sound it out, see how it feels. even in a fantasy world, realistically characters are going to have vocal quirks, going to stammer on certain words or stumble over their sentences sometimes. i find it adds a sort of realism to their speech to sound out dialogue to yourself to feel how it sounds to say. that's something relevant for mystreet too but still. [and you might have noticed already that my casual typing style tries to mimic where i would usually stumble my words irl or pause for breath or to think HAHA i'm trying to stop it to make my sentences clearer and far more readable since not everyone reads the way that i interpret my own speech into text].

ok sorry i talked so much its 2am here and im literally about to crash so if something in here doesn't make sense its definitely because i'm tired as fuck and about to pass out. that last paragraph was nonsensical im so aware but i hoped at least a little bit of this answered your question. just yell in my asks if i didn't fully answer the question or if you want me to elaborate on anything okay thank youuuu yippeee yipeyipye sorry for yapping bai

[thetreestumptherapist]

Why the flood is so terrifying

Here is the flood terror post I promised yall.

I was going to include a star wars - halo mashup post in this one, but I feel that would make it too long.

Also, this is the post that I made the "accidental deletions" post about. I am still in pain...

The Flood is a zombie. But, it's a different type of zombie and in my opinion the best and most terrifying zombie to this day. If you have any suggestions for a more terrifying zombie after reading this post, please do let me know.

Lets start with it's infection style. It has 4 main forms, the infection forms, the combat forms, the growth pod forms (idk what those ones are officially called), and the Gravemind. The infections forms literally eat their way into the chest cavity and corrupt from the inside out, growing mass so fast that the unfortunate victim's head pops off and sticks out the side, and the infection form takes its place. That alone is terrifying. Canonically marines have killed themselves so they didn't have to deal with this thing. The flood corrupts you like a cancer, and it corrupts at ungodly speeds. If you are infected, there is no cure. You are gone in seconds, turned into a hive-minded killing machine. In some cases the flood won't immediately take its host's mind, but will instead slowly infect their mind while digging through it for information, essentially absorbing the victim's mind into it's own. Also, Graveminds are able to store information at an external source, so if it gets destroyed, and another one gets made, it will have all the information from the previous Graveminds. This thing has decades to centuries of information on humans and the other species.

Now let's move to its attack patterns:

On little battlegrounds, it overwhelms you. The flood is a numbers game. It throws hordes of infection forms at you, and uses combat forms to disable/occupy you so the infection forms can take over your body. On the larger scale though, the flood is terrifyingly smart. It goes for utilities, governments, etc. It takes out the electricity and moves around in the dark. It takes out figures of power, causing disorder and mass chaos, leaving the people confused, scared, and easier to attack.

(This is the point I had to retype from because I accidentally highlighted and deleted like 2 paragraphs (-_-) also I'm not gonna get the same wording I had before which annoys me immensely)

I once saw a youtube short where a person said the flood could take over the earth in just 7 days. 7. Days. one week. over 8 billion people. With each infection adding to the Flood's army, spreading faster and faster. Eventually forming a Gravemind, and corrupting the Earth itself. Probably forming a super flood capable of slip-space travel on it's own. (I had to look this up on the flood wiki to make sure I had some facts right, and found out that there are sub-forms as well. And I couldn't find much on the super flood form, other than the fact that this form is actually only theoretical) (Also, having read some of the wiki, that's some super fascinating and morbid information on that page. If I'm not careful I'll end up in a wiki deep dive and forget to finish this post. Highly recommend reading it) It is insanely lucky that Chief and Thel were there when the flood attacked because earth wouldn't have stood a chance without them there at the moment of infection. In the words of Rtas 'Vadum "One single flood spore can wipe out an entire species."

(This is where I had written to, before the deletion. From this point its all new stuff) (I can't remember what I was going to say after this point either and I'm really mad)

Rtas was ready to glass the entire earth to make sure the flood didn't spread. Honestly, i can't blame him and fully understand why he would do that. The flood took over High Charity in a matter of hours. And took only a few days to make a hive out of the city. The flood took over an entire Covenant city in HOURS.

I think it's important to mention that the Flood is one of the only things to ever make Chief feel truly scared. I don't remember where I read/saw it. It may have been in a skimming of the flood book (I want to read it but haven't had time), but I read that the Chief wasn't scared of much at all, but the flood, it scared him. Like, he was genuinely afraid of it.

Flood Fun fact: the flood is actually caused by corrupted Precursor dust which caused madness and mutations in those that came into contact with it. I thought it infected a fungus first and then spread to animals and humans, but I guess not because I can't find anything about that. I did find that the humans actually experimented on animals with the dust, and then went mad themselves. I guess I have a lot of reading to do.

Speed summary on the background of the precursors and the dust: they got in a war with the forerunners and almost got wiped out so they became dust that was supposed to reincarnate them later but it got corrupted and started infecting people and eventually became the flood we know today

The articles I have done my best to research and fact check with for this post:

Look at how similar the flood looks to the precursors.

I have exhausted my words for this post. I can't think of anything else to say without giving the ENTIRE history of the flood and while I'm sure most of you wouldn't mind that, I feel that would be too much so I included the links to the wiki pages in this post. The flood is the most terrifying enemy I can think of from a realistic point of view. Like, if we had to fight this thing irl, we're all screwed. We could handle possessed animatronics, we could handle jedi and sith, we could even handle the covenant, (barely, but I think we could do it). But, the flood? We're toast.

[mrs-monaghan]

Hi! I'm new around here (but not new to jikook) and I saw your recent posts where you linked to, among other things, a post where you talked about the 2016 jinmin vlive where they were watching jk on celebrity romance. And I just wanted to say thank you for bringing that up! I think that vlive is wildly underrated. It tells us so much about jikook's relationship at the time. It really showcases how jikook weren't at same place emotionally in the beginning (and how insecure that made jimin) and how their relationship was possibly mostly physical back then. Jk definitely had a lot to work through. I'm sure he was already in love with jm, but had a hard time expressing it. But all's well what ends well, right? :) Very highly recommend that every jikooker watch that vlive if you haven't already!

Okay. First of all, if I have to link this post one more time I'm gonna start side eyeing y'all. I thought I was a pervert till I met y'all. I'm watching you 🧐🧐

He he hee! The video anon is talking about.

Its like 11 minutes guys. Watch it. You've been in the toilet for longer than that. Don't even 🙄 just watch it.

Anon I think you have put it perfectly. Actually. The last part where I reference on my post about JK not showing Jimin any emotions, I think that caused alot of fighting. Like alot. I joked about JK hitting and quitting but really that's how it comes off. The xes part was good. Probably really good. But after that JK would go back to treating Jimin like he did everyone else. Jimin knew he wasn't just anyone else. They had something going on and he wanted JK to act like it.

I saw something on twitter a long, long time ago so I cannot find it. And its now a blur in my head. But OP was alluding to JK playing video games and ignoring Jimin after xes. I don't recall how OP drew to this conclusion, but it was from something Jimin said. Something about JK and video games. Not sure. Like, we all know when it comes to Jikook its all about reading between the lines.

I remember seeing that and seeing where OP was coming from but I dont remember the context which is a tad frustrating rn. Anygays, it obviously took a while for JK to start acting like Jimin needed him to. Feelings wise anyway.

I am happy Jimin did not give up because look where they are now. (I'm sure the Jungkonda had something to do with it 😂😂) JK basically worships the group Mimi walks on.

We heard it from the man himself so we know it's true, right? He's stubborn, he's hard to handle, and I bet Jimin knows all of it first hand. 🤭🤭

Okay so for some strange reason, your ask made me think about this tweet; (Don't ask me why. My mind is a weird place)

Before anybody freaks out, I would like to advice that u take this with a grain of salt. My friends and I tried to find where/when this could have possibly happened but we couldn't. And we really tried guys, because.... WHAT!?!?!?! Why would Jin say something like this that basically outs Jikook? Right?

But then I think about how BTS used to word vomit alot in the early days so I haven't completely disregarded it. So hopefully one of u have heard of this because I would love to see it. Honestly. It's fucking wild. Like.... it's insane 🤯

That being said, 😁😁😁 the correct members are involved when u really think about it. Right? Like these are the right members for this strange scenario 🤭

We know this is how Jin used to wake JK up. Jin even demonstrated that one time exactly how he used to do it by touching JK's nipples. (I can't with the Tannies sometimes. Honestly 🤦🏽‍♀️) From the huge amount of Jikook nipple play (inside this post is another post about this) we can safely deduce that JK's nipples are sensitive. So to me, yeah? To me it makes sense that a sleepy JK thought it was Jimin touching him. IF this is true and it did happen, the maths adds up. Just saying....

Lord have mercy 🤣😂😂

[daydreamycrustacean]

you cant just threaten me with narrative parallels to big boss and not deliver. i need this

AHEHEHEE....( •̀ ω •́ )✧ Ive spent all noon going insane over char and ive listened 3 times to beyond the time, so you chose the perfect time for this.... Okay. so basically,

meme comic aside, here's a more structured and elaborated version of these points, taken from something that I wrote in my notes app at 2 am, plus some other points. Sorry if this doesn't make sense. Im not good at putting my thoughts into words.

----------------------

-they are both soldiers who end up being idolized and turned into a symbol. this idolization makes people want them to be in a position of leadership.

-being better known for their nom de guerre, "the red comet/char aznable" (which also counts as this, since it's a fake name tied to his identity in the one-year war) and "big boss", adds to this idealization, and with it also comes depersonalization, as their identity becomes just an image of a war hero that exists in peoples heads. a legend, rather than a real person.

-the artificiality of this legend is brought home in the way that it is taken, replicated, and put into other people, showing that anyone can be "the red comet" or "big boss". that's right baby. clones! Be it The Patriots making supersoldier clones of big boss for war purposes or Sunrise making Char after Char for anime purposes. But Char does also have actual in-universe clones???

-And also phantoms... the much clearer example of the artificiality of these legends/identities. I don't know anything abt Gundam Unicorn and so the only things I know abt Full Frontal are from the wiki. but he's just Venom Snake. Hey, what if we took this random guy and altered his appearance and mind to be the red comet/big boss?

-Okay its time to talk about The Boss and Zeon Deikun. Their deaths turn them both into symbols that represent the ideals that they preached. Ideals that everyone else takes and misinterprets for their own purposes. Their deaths also kickstart Big Boss and Char´s...everything. In a way, both Big Boss and Char dedicate their lives fighting for the ideals that their mother/father represented. Are they any good at this? Or are they yet another person taking these ideals and twisting them beyond recognition? Let´s say that´s up for debate.

-"So both Char and Big Boss ended up being idolized just like The Boss and Zeon Deikun? Even though it's something that they did not want and tried to avoid?" YES! Unavoidable fate. Repeating mistakes of the past...Sins of the Father... one of the key themes of Metal Gear. THE theme of metal gear. Big Boss more consciously tried to avoid the fate of The Boss by leaving the US military and hated being seen as a hero/called Big Boss because of The Boss. Char never outright states that the reason he does not want leadership is because he does not want to suffer his father´s fate...but his choice of accepting leadership is tied into his father´s fate nonetheless, with "Maybe human sacrifices run in your family" and Char casting himself as that human sacrifice in Char´s Counterattack. Is the reason as to why thinking about Char makes me so insane because his narrative of not being able to escape his father´s shadow taps into one of Metal Gears main themes? who knows...

-I said that Char´s "The Boss" figure is Zeon Deikun...but I think Lalah is the emotional aspect of this. She is the more clear Mother Figure whose death scars and haunts Char the way The Boss haunts Big Boss. Yes, Char also lost his real mom when young but shes not as important as Lalah.

-They just miss their mom bro :(

-cue millions of jokes about Oedipus complexes (more prevalent in the gundam fandom. for some reason.)...not gonna comment on this but they are there. and I can't ignore it if I'm talking abt comparisons between them.

-Okay, mothers/fathers talk aside. Their relationship to war and conflict. Not much else to say that I didn't say in the image. Its all they know and and all they think themselves capable of. Though thinking about their similarities on this did remind me of something that Beltorchika said in Zeta about Char, about how she thinks he's someone who is incapable of living without war and how definitely similar things are directly said about big boss in metal gear. there's more to this and about whether this is true and why...but my eyes are starting to hurt. I need to finish this.

-Lets go back to leadership. despite the fact that they both do not initially want this position of power, they do eventually give into it to help soldiers/Spacenoids respectively. Big Boss wants soldiers to not be used by governments like he was used (but he does end up using them nonetheless. oops) and Char wants Spacenoid independence from the Federation, although Char´s motivations in cca are more complex than just this, I do believe part of him does genuinely see helping spacenoids as his "duty" and something he needs to sacrifice himself for.Okay that was my last big point. finally this is done. more stuff:

-the_man_who_sold_the_world.mp3

-I don't know. all war criminals know these days is be bisexual and lie. <- all there is to say abt their heavy homoerotic subtext. which yes they also both individually have. although big boss´ is stronger bc he's in metal gear. I also can't ignore it. It's still a character aspect.

-forgot abt Quess...use of child soldiers ig. awesome.

[girlbossblackbeard]

s2 brain thoughts: the squeakuel (ep 2)

as a reminder, if u see me posting any of these points as their own posts mind ur business:

-i'm sending my hospital bills to david jenkins for weaponizing thef cuking "you wear fine things well" scene WITHOUT ANY KIND OF WARNING i literally almost choked to death from shock

-hey so what the whole actual fuck is up with transitioning directly from the very painful "you wear fine things well" scene which, as we've already established, has REAL HUMAN CASUALTIES DUE TO THIS USE-CASE, into the "run from me darling" lyric overlayed on top of the god damn shot of ed pAINTING THE BRIDE CAKE TOPPER TO LOOK LIKE HIM AND BASICALLY PLAYING OUT HIS FANTASY OF MARRYING STEDE. david jenkins you have committed crimes

-also!!!!!!!!!! that cake topper has kohl smudged all over it so you KNOW our boy ed has been caressing it against his cheek and sighing longingly

-i know we've all talked about how insane the "ed plays with the wedding cake toppers pretending they're him and stede" scene is but i don't think we've really comprehended how GENUINELY INSANE it is like??? edward teach, blackbeard, the kraken, the scourge of the seven seas, the most fearsome pirate the caribbean has ever known that has recently been on a non-stop slaughtering spree, painted a bride wedding cake topper to look like himself which he then scoots next to a wedding cake topper that looks like stede so he can imagine that he's marrying him. this man carefully rubbed kohl on a cake topper to give it darker skin and darker hair and a BEARD. to make it look more like himself. so he could then. put it next to a cake topper that looked like stede. and pretend. they were getting married. i've written that 3 times now and my brain STILL refuses to fully process those sentences.

-i said it in my first brain thoughts post for ep 1 and i'll say it again: every time im reminded that ed has been crying NON-STOP. EVERY SINGLE NIGHT. for MONTHS. over stede. my wall gains another hole

-the way ed is so delirious in his sadness as he pushes the cake toppers out the window. i don't even have any thoughts on that i feel like all i can do is just note it and let y'all deal with the rest

>>actually I lied, he literally watches them sink into the sea after he pushes them out the window that's so fucked up whomever made that decision to make him do that is so fucked up

-"the sea is restorative isn't it" "YYYYEEESSS QUEEN!!!!!!!!!! I'VE ALWAYS SAID SO!!!!!!!!!!!!" "ohh that guy knows" IS THE MOST UNDERRATED EXCHANGE IN THE ENTIRE SERIES IT LITERALLY HAD ME SHAKING WITH LAUGHTER

-would looooooooooooooove to know what went through stede's head as soon as roach mentioned "some place called China??" like did he immediately think of the kiss or getting sent to the naval academy or the kiss or ed's excitement at the prospect of running away together or the kiss or getting kidnapped by chauncey or the kiss or watching chauncey shoot himself in the dome or the kiss or his flop behavior of running back to his family that doesn't even want him or the kiss or

-the crew of the red flag being so immediately kind and welcoming to stede and his crew <3

-i genuinely cannot wait to watch buttons fully immerse himself in the red flag traditions like he was made to be on that crew

-"how should I put this, your energy is..." can't believe they got hatecrimed like that

-RAT BOY

-HE'S HERE

-OUR BOY IS HERE

-fun fact: i recorded my live reaction to episodes 1 - 3 and posted the clip of my friends and i reacting to lucius coming back because we were quite literally jumping for joy and crying over the reunion and THE illustrious Nathan Foad himself told me it was literally the cutest thing he's ever seen (his words, not mine!!) so we're basically best friends forever now and the rest of my life will be spent chasing the high of the happiness i felt during that interaction

-i am also crying once again over his reappearance and i think that's just gonna happen every time i watch this scene :')

-roach's shocked face when lucius appears is something that can actually be so personal

-the way they all dogpile on top of him because they're so happy to see him bitch what the FCUK

-also stede's STUPID LITTLE "huh!" LIKE??????????? THAT WAS YOUR SCRIBE AND RELATIONSHIP GURU YOU HEARTLESS MONSTER WHERE IS THE ENERGY AND EXCITEMENT AT KNOWING HE ISN'T FUCKING DEAD??????????????

-"i love it" *BIG SMOOCH* "i love all of it" *BIGGER SMOOCH* oh so they're trying to kill me by smothering me in the syrupy sweetness of their love. okay

-okay sorry but lucius's absolutely microscopic furrowing of his brow right before black pete kisses him again. for a split second he had a slight look of sadness which lines up with the very real trauma he's endured and how even in extremely happy moments they can be tinged with sadness - maybe a sadness for the past and the way things could've been if he hadn't been pushed off the boat - and all i can say is nathan foad. ur big powerful acting mind

-we gotta talk about lucius choosing not to reveal that ed had pushed him off the ship in front of the whole crew. i'm still trying to figure out if that was him trying to spare stede's feelings (unlikely considering he lets it all out later), spare black pete's feelings (possible, since he knows black pete idolizes blackbeard), prevent himself from having to relive that trauma in front of his friends when he's not prepared to confront those memories, or a combination of all of the above

-"i fell. off the ship." "that doesn't sound like you. you have impeccable balance, babe" i literally love black pete so much i may legally have to change my name to lucius spriggs

-"toouwelss? what is this? are these jobs?" stede i love you so very much to the moon and back but for the love of god you gotta shut it my guy

-I AM LITERALLY SO EXCITED FOR THE BUTTONS SEA WITCH STORY ARC LIKE IT MAY ACTUALLY BE ON PAR WITH MY EXCITEMENT TO SEE ED AND STEDE PROPERLY REUNITE AND OPENLY LOVE EACH OTHER AGAIN

-ed just. washing the door handle. i dont have any other thoughts

-GODDDDDDD HE'S SERVING SOOOOOO MUCH GENDER WITH HIS LIL HAIR BUN AND MOSTLY CLEANED UP WAR PAINT AND DANGLY EARRINGS AKEFJAPWHFA OPERGJAER

-the way frenchie looks genuinely happy for ed when he says he thinks he got all the poison out of his system and it's a new day :((

-idk much about piracy but i really don't think there's a rule about the new first mate traditionally having to kill the old first mate, i think ed just made that up so someone else would have to kill izzy instead of him. despite everything, despite how low he's sunken into the very dark parts of his mind due to the heartbreak, ed still can't bring himself to deal the killing blow

-"i expect great things from you" might be one of the more chilling lines in that interaction because for THE blackbeard to have not just any expectations from you, but GREAT expectations? that's not a compliment, that's a threat. measure up to what blackbeard thinks you should be or else

-can't comment on the amputation scene too yucky sorry

-stede trying to triangulate ed's coordinates based off of his string of crimes on a map HE drew is me trying to triangulate where tf this season is going based off of buckwild theories i've made up and used as the foundation for even more buckwild theories

-yeah idk what the mushy ass lyrics stede wrote on that map mean but i know they're frighteningly homosexual

-"FUCK YOU. that's how i am" I am SO glad lucius gets to be openly bitchy towards stede it feels like a cathartic release for me personally

-ed's fuckin "heyyyy" to frenchie in the kitchen is both hilarious and unbelievably unsettling

-absolutely obsessed with the writers for once again showing just how scarily observant and intelligent ed is when he calls frenchie out for using his right hand to mime killing izzy even though he's actually left handed

-i really admire how david chose to use a low camera angle that looks up at ed as he reveals to frenchie that he's well aware he hasn't killed izzy yet because taika's performance was already unsettling enough but that specific angle adds so much to his overall menacing presence in that scene

-joel fry's performance in the kitchen scene with ed literally makes me want to bite something he's so good at acting quietly terrified

-this is almost certainly an unpopular opinion but i really would've loved to see more buildup to jim and archie kissing. i just feel like we know NOTHING about her let alone her relationship with jim prior to the two days we've seen them interacting and i feel like that kiss would've felt like a much more satisfying payoff if we had seen more interactions between them before they got to that point. i would've taken delaying that kiss by a few episodes if it meant feeling fully invested in it once it did happen, but i also know the show already has so much material to get through (which is why we should've gotten 10 eps but i digress)

-"hey no one told me this room existed" is giving "i didn't even realize there was piracy happening"

-"take the fuckin leg" is such a perfect line delivery

-love the foreshadowing of olu explaining how the little ships on the war table were all over the place and "some of them were over land"

-roach waxing poetic about the noodles is so relatable

-"jesus christ stede keep your pants on" hands down one of the funniest fucking lucius moments of all time

-sorry but we gotta give a shout out to lucius modifying the chinese fleet uniform so it's sleeveless. the edges are cleanly done so either he was put on tailoring duty at some point and picked it up there or someone on the ship wanted to enable the slayage

-there's something to be said about the fact that the only other man who has lasted being on board the red flag ship is another member of the revenge who was picked up and welcomed into the fold well before stede and the rest of the crew wound up there. something about how stede attracts and retains other people who he can tell are gentle at heart, even if they're putting up a tough front. something about how lucius had bounced from ship to ship until he finally wound up on Zheng Yi Sao's ship where he was allowed to be himself

-"ya don't know............if ya picked up....smokin....." nathaniel buttons my beloved

-OOOOF stede's guilty face after lucius talks about how he must've picked up smoking somewhere. after the crushing guilt he already feels about the ed situation this definitely would've weighed extremely heavy on him

-MY SPICY LIL RAT BOY IS SO IMPORTANT TO ME

-"what the hell is going on in towels" wee john my beloved

-look i know izzy is on the brink of death but he genuinely looks kinda beautiful before ed wakes him up from his shock induced coma and i won't apologize for that

-"my leg" izzy is so fred rechid coded

-"it's up in leg heaven now" i need to know if ed said that as a way of metaphorically digging the knife into izzy and getting back at him for trying to force ed to send stede to doggy heaven in season 1

-i dont have the emotional capacity to dive into the ed and izzy shooting scene rn but just know it destroyed me on a metaphysical level

-"too scared to do it yourself" no because unfortunately now im thinking about ed thinking through taking his own life but coming to the realization that he can't do it. whether it's because of childhood christianity trauma and thinking he'll be sent to hell for doing so or because he knows he can't follow through with it himself if there's still a tiny shred of hope that he'll reunite with stede and everything will be okay again, he always has to outsource the big job

-also, very interesting choice to have almost jovial classical music playing in the background of the ed/izzy scene. it definitely undercut a lot of the tension compared to how supremely uncomfortable and anxiety-inducing the scene would've been if it were dead silent behind the dialogue

-"i loved you...best i could"

-"i've got an ex-wife, two messed up kids probably" LMAO stede acknowledging he would have no way of knowing how fucked up his kids are because of him

-"sounds like you're quite the fuck-up pal" "yeah, i am! and im alone! talk to pete. don't be like me" ohhhhh my god stede is in just as much agony as ed is over this breakup he's just been using his polite society social skills of saving face and never showing how truly devastated you are to others to cover up how supremely messed up he is over all of it. he is BEGGING lucius to talk to pete and NOT make the same mistakes he did because maybe if he can prevent lucius from bottling it up and actually deal with this in a healthy way he can make up for a fraction of all the hurt he's caused not only ed but lucius as well. maybe if he can get lucius to talk to pete he can absolve himself of some of the soul-crushing guilt he feels over how his actions have irreparably damaged the people he cares about the most. maybe if lucius and pete are able to work through this trauma and still come out the other side loving each other just as much or even more than they did before, he can believe that there's still hope for him and ed.

-ed choosing to put on the cravat for what he believes is going to be his last action on earth before dying because he's resigned himself to his fate but is still scared shitless by it and wants that modicum of comfort that stede will always be able to provide him no matter how badly he hurt ed is giving me the urge to find the nearest cast iron skillet and loony toons my skull

-"some people are just broken no matter what you do" noooo why do i feel like lucius was talking about himself when he said that to stede about ed ://

-oof i know they were an unnamed character but fang tried to save someone who went overboard during the storm and wasn't able to :(

-GGGOOOODDDDDDD izzy looks so fucking hot and badass all soaking wet and leaning up against the rigging after shooting ed jesus christ

-"finally" ed was so relieved to have his pain finally end. even after his journey of self discovery in the next episode im really curious how he's going to deal with having to confront the pain he thought he escaped in addition to the pain he inflicted on others while failing to cope with that pain and stopping at nothing, including nearly killing the rest of the crew, to end it