#and i am at a complete loss officially of what to do to change

[harryshomebaby]

every year i think things are finally going to start getting easier, but they always just keep getting harder

[rebelscums]

Little Flower (Qimir x Padawan reader)

Rating: Fluff | Kissing | Light grinding | A pillow is thrown

Summary: You are the padawan to a masked man you had no name of. You have been by his side for years, training and mastering the arts of what he refers to as the dark side of the force. However, with Mae entering your life as his new favorite, you are beginning to question whether you belong there anymore. Something that you run to your closet fiend to talk about. Who knew confessing to Qimir about your trouble would bring a life changing moment.

“I’m not strong enough for him.” That was the first thing you said to Qirmir as you entered his shop. Borrowed shop? You didn’t care.

The defeat in your tone was enough to alert him of your dismay.

“That’s it. I’m officially useless to him. He doesn’t need me.” You blurted out all of your frustrations to the only person you have ever been able to call a friend, “All he cares about is his new acolyte Mae.”

You were both stationed here with Mae as she completed the next part of her trial which was to kill Master Torbin… Without a weapon.

“What makes you say that?” Qimir popped his head up from behind his counter.

“He’s been making me run these needless errands lately that literally anyone else in the galaxy can do.” You set a bag of powdered gold leaves onto the counter, “This took me an entire day to find and when I go back to the spot I left him, he was gone! Gone! Didn’t tell me where either.” You said frustratingly, “So I figured you might know what to do with this.”

Qimir took the bag and peered inside, a please look on his face as he hummed, “Actually I do. It’s the leaves I need to make a poison Mae requested.”

“Of course it is.” You rolled your eyes at the mention of her name.

Mae seemed to be taking the eyes of your master and Qimir lately. Something that made your eyes turn green with the overpowering feeling of jealousy… Of being abandoned.

“Look, I love Mae and she has become very dear to me, but… I was here first.” You felt like a child for saying that, “I know that sounds selfish, but it feels like he just tossed me aside for a better version.” You looked up at Qimir showing him the hurt and betrayal in your eyes before looking away to try and suppress your feelings, “And maybe… Maybe she is better than me… Maybe I should just take my loss and go.” You spoke in a near whisper, your throat tightening at the thought.

“No!” The way he quickly voiced his answer had you looking up at him waiting for him to continue, “You are strong with the force and an extremely skilled assassin.” He shook his head, “You don’t have to leave.”

You sighed and moved past him and the counter, “But what if he wants me to leave Qi? You don’t understand. It’s like he doesn’t even see me or the power I possess. All he ever says to me is that I’m not ready to become his acolyte and that I need to help Mae ascend yet…” You slumped into the cot that he called a bed with a huff, “I’m older than she is! I’ve been with him longer might I add. I’ve never questioned him, I’ve followed him loyally and this is what I am granted with? To be a baby sitter?”

“One useful skill may come out of that job.” He noted and you missed the blush in his face at whatever he was thinking about…

“And what might that be?” You muttered tiredly as you stared up at the ceiling contemplating your life and how you could just be better.

“You would make a good mother?” Qimir shrugged his shoulders as he tried to had the small smirk on his lips.

You launched one of the pillows on the bed the moment those words left his mouth. It was going straight for his head to which he surprisingly dodged with ease, but that didn’t stop the surprised look appear on his face as he raised his hands in surrender.

“Not funny.” You grumbled and crossed your arms, turning to face the wall with a pout.

“Okay okay. I’m sorry.” Qimir said as he walked over to where you were. When you didn’t turn to face him, he decided to take a seat on the edge of the bed beside you. There was a thoughtful look on his face before he spoke again, “Maybe… Maybe he is looking out for you.”

That got your attention. You sat up, your shoulders brushing against his as you peered up at him with confusion, “What do you mean?”

A nervous blush creeped up his face as you leaned closer to him, “Well I mean… I…” He trailed off nervously, “I just mean that maybe you just might be more important to him than you realize. He could be looking after you to take on a more important role.”

“What’s more important than being his acolyte?” You huffed in confusion as you look towards your fiddling hands, “I remember what he said to me all those years ago when we first met. He promised he would make me a powerful force weirder and that I would stand by his side as his acolyte and now… Now I’m starting to question if he really meant it.”

Qimir’s hand found yours and gave it a comforting squeeze, “He meant it and… You are powerful. Just as you are brave and unlawfully kind.” He assured and it was your turn to blush.

It seemed like he always knew what to say to you in ways that made your heart flutter and your cheeks burn, “Qi…” You breathed out as you glanced at his lips.

He was quick to copy your movements leaning in closer to you as he did so, “Maybe he sees too much good in you to turn you into something your not.” He whispered, his breath caressing your skin.

“You seem to know a lot about what he may think.” You whispered, suddenly lost in his darkening gaze, “Why is that?”

“What can I say? I’m good at reading people.” He smirked slightly as he looked down at your lips again, “I’m also extremely possessive over what I care about. Knowing him means knowing you.”

“Okay…” You hummed accepting his answer, “Alright then mister possessive, what am I thinking about right now?” You mused, a mischievous glint sparkling in your eyes.

It was something the Qimir couldn’t get enough of. It was your playfulness towards him that was like a breath of fresh air against the darkness he was met with daily.

“I would say…” His speech was slow as he traced your face with his eyes, “That you really want to kiss me.” He teased lowly. There was a small grin on his face in knowing that he was right.

He was always right.

“Do I now?” You didn’t try to deny it as you leaned in closer to him, “And you? What do you want to do?”

A low noise emanated from his throat, almost like a pleading sound as his lips brushed against yours, “I want to kiss you...” He said in a way that made your heart yearn for him.

“Then what are you waiting for? Kiss me.” You breathed out, your heart racing wildly in excitement.

That was all he needed to hear as he leaned down to press his lips against yours. Your eyes fluttered closed at the soft sensation in the way that he kissed you. It was delicate and gentle as if he was afraid to push you too far, but the way your arms circled around his neck, pulling him closer to you, was all he needed to know.

He felt like light between your fingertips as you ran your hands through his hair and he was gentle with his movements in guiding you back against the bed. “Beautiful…” He breathed out, fitting himself snugly between your legs.

“Qi…” You breathed his name against his lips, arching your back as he tugged your bottom lips between his teeth. He held himself back, letting go of your lip to really look at you. You couldn’t help but look at him with awe as he gazed at you with so much love and devotion shining in his eyes.

“You are just… Breathtaking.” He admired you with every part of his being, “Utterly breathtaking…” He seemed mesmerized as his right hand traced along your curves.

You blushed, a small smile playing on your lips as you looked away from him embarrassed by his loving words, “Who knew you were such a flatterer.”

He chuckled lowly as he leaned back down to kiss your lips. All too quickly he left and began leaving a trail of kisses down to your neck. You couldn’t help your eyes fluttering closed at the feeling.

“You deserve to be flattered.” He continued losing himself in everything that was you. He rocked himself against you as he held back the urge to devour you entirely. He wanted too so desperately now that he knew you were his, body, soul, and mind. He would never let you go, not now… Not until his last dying breath. “You deserve the galaxy, my little flower.” He muttered softly against your skin.

You have much to learn little flower.

You moaned lightly at the pleasure he filled you with almost kissing his last words, but you heard them. Your mind took a moment to register the deeper meaning behind his endearment, but when you did your eyes opened in realization. It was him. Qimir was him. No one knew about that little nickname except for…

“Master?” You whispered running your fingers through his hair in a gentle manner, but your heart beat widely in your chest as he stopped kissing you.

“Hm…” He hummed a small smirk gracing his lips as he breathed against your neck, “You finally figured it out.”

You placed your right hand on his cheek and gentle lifted his head to face you, “He’s you?” You said in awe as you pieced together every moment up until now, “You’re him?”

“I am.” He searched your eyes for any fear or resistance, but his shoulders relaxed as he saw none.

“So… That is why you were never around when he— I mean when you were training me? Because you were already there.” Your brows furrowed, “Does Mae know?” A small pang filled your chest at the possibility of her knowing your masters identity before you.

He shook his head, “No.”

The pang quickly left, filling your chest with relief as you let out a small sigh, “So… That’s how you were so sure about how he was feeling because that’s what you truly felt…” A blush filled your cheeks at the kind words he said to you earlier.

However, you realized something else as well. He was the one who kept you from becoming his acolyte. You gasped as you smacked his chest causing him to groan and you would have cared for the old Qimir if you didn’t already know how strong he truly was as your master.

“Why won’t you make me your acolyte?” You huffed slightly embarrassed now that you know you spilled your guts to him, “This entire time I have told you how I felt. I am devoted only to you master so why will you not let me become your acolyte?”

“I thought you would have figured that out by now.” He chuckled shaking his head.

Your brows furrowed in confusion, “What do you mean? That is why you train me, it is why you let me stay with you, is it not?”

Strands of his hair fell into his eyes from the way he shook his head. You couldn’t help, but reach up to brush them away, something that had his heart flutter and his lips curl up into a soft smile. He leaned into your touch, his eyes closed as he spoke softly, “I don’t want you to become my acolyte anymore because I couldn’t bear the thought of something ever happening to you.” His gaze darkened, “I would burn the galaxy before that ever happens.”

You smiled softly and brushed away the creases from his brow, “I know.”

“I want you to be mine.” He nuzzled his nose into your wrist before placing a gentle kiss upon in, “I want you to be my equal… Not as someone who does my bidding, not as my padawan or my acolyte, but someone who stands by me.”

“I want you my little flower because you are everything I wish the world to be.” He finished, a soft look in his eyes.

Love swelled up in your chest at the confession he conveyed so deeply to you. His love sealed your fate to him as you leaned up towards him. You brushed your lips against his, the both of you conveying your strong emotions to one another with the look of your eyes.

“You have my heart Qimir and I will stand by your side, always.” You agreed softly.

It was a promise that the two of you would keep without any doubt. He was yours and you were his until the end of time.

[hieronymus-nosk]

💥Spoilers ahead💥

Honestly the one thing I adore about Hakita and ULTRAKILL itself, is that most interpretations a person could have of the game is completely valid. He himself said so and there are many canonical backings to most headcanons/theories.

I will use Gabriel being revealed to be canonically genderless and the common trans fanon as an example.

In the game, the council is shown to have referred to Gabriel as an "it" and according to the dev stream, pronouns in Angel culture are tied to their rank, how important they are. My interpretation is that not only is this an official way to demote him, but to strip him of pronouns that he earned. That he likely had to fight for.

More Info revealed about the council is that they weren't actually malevolent, they were only doing what they thought was right (not defending them lol) and that Gabriel only killed them because there was not enough time to change the way they think. My new idea is that if you believe the fanon that he's trans, the council was the type of "I am literally afraid of this and don't understand it" transphobic. So calling him an "it" had two meanings. Both rooted in power/ the loss of it. They could have changed, but there was literally no time for change to happen.

Gabriel knew that Heaven and hell were in absolute shambles, and there was nothing left for him to do.

His secondary arc, canonically speaking, was and is an allegory for coming to terms with being queer.

Having Gianni and parts of the dev Team lean into it is pretty fucking rad, too lmao

The game is about a sentient hell wreaking havoc and there are in game explanations as to why the graphics are low poly. Crazy shit happens in this game and Hakita loves our creativity.

I've dedicated thousands of words to this game in the form of writing and it's extremely validating that the people behind it are so supportive of us as a community.

[anon-sect]

I’d do anything to get close to my gym crush’s feet, could you give me a little help?

Picture source: @paketemusculomorbo

Quinton worked out nearly every day at his favorite gym, and he kept noticing this one guy, always looking his direction but never bothering to come greet him. This attention went on for almost two months straight. He thought about going to another gym, but the guy might follow him there. Since the guy was to shy to come say hi, he would break the ice himself.

"What's up?" Quinton went over and spoke. The guy was sort of silent for a few seconds, probably because of the shock that he came over and spoke with him.

Greg was caught by surprise. "Oh, hi." He didn't know what else to say for a brief moment.

"Listen, I have been noticing you looking my way for a while. I thought I would end your nervousness. The name is Quinton, and yours." He saw that the guy was getting less uneased by now.

"Oh, I am Greg. Nice to meet you." He spoke back, seeing that his gym crush was actually kind of nice.

"Nice to meet you as well, Greg. Well, I will get back to my workout session, I just wanted to say hi." Quinton spoke as he went back to the machine he was previously at. He then noticed the rubber in his favorite shoes came loss. This was no good. Sadly, he didnt' have another pair with him. He went back over to Greg.

"Hey, could you help me with something, buddy?" Quinton asked. He saw Greg's face light up like a supernove when he asked that question.

Sure, anything." Greg quickly answered without even knowing what the request was. He followed him back to the locker room, which was surprisingly empty. He saw Quinton smiling at that. He saw him pull out his phone. With a quick snap of the camera, his whole reality changed. He found himself completely immobile with a limited view. HIs body was split in two, and each half had a solid form.

Quinton picked up the brand new shoes. They looked great. He took off his old shoes and threw them in the trash. "Sorry about this. I know we just officially met, but my old shoes are just too ruined for me to continue to work out. I needed you to be my shoes for now. I really do appreciate this." He put the shoes on his feet and went back out to finish his session. The new shoes felt way better than his old favorite pair. He could easily work out without his feet hurting now.

Greg didn't know if he was dreaming or if it was reality. He was literally being worn on his gym crush feet. The socks were already sweaty and smelled slightly. It was also painful with each step under his feet. Being shoes was quite a painful experience, not to mention sweaty and stinky. Yet, he was still loving every moment of it. He really didn't mind his gym crush using him as his shoes.

Quinton finished his nearly two hour workout. He snapped a quick picture of himself with his new shoes. He loved how they looked on his feet. He decided he would keep them. He hoped the guy didn't mind being his sneakers for a long time.

Quinton went back to the lockroom, grabbed his bag, and went to his car. Once back at his car, he took one sneaker off. "My old pair seem like they were too far gone, but I have found a new replacement for my favorite sneakers. It's you. I don't know if this is something you would want, or if you dispise me for wearing you." He paused as he thought about it. "Honestly, you don't have any choice in your life anymore. You are just my new favorite shoes now. Don't worry, I will take good care of you for sure. My last pair lasted me for years, you wil be mine forever." He put the shoe back on his foot and drove back home to take a shower.

Greg was so happy to hear what came of his fate. Quinton could wear him forever for all he cared. There was no greater pleasure than being worn by him on his feet. He wished he could express his gratitude for what he did to him, but at least he knew that he would be with his gym crush forever. That was all that mattered.

[flowerandblood]

The Prince and The Fox (9) (End)

[ modern! • Aemond x friend! • female ]

[ warnings: sex content, virgnity loss, smut, bleeding, fluff ]

[ description: After the events of her childhood, despite her best efforts, her neighbor and the younger brother of her friend Helaena, Aemond, does not want to know her. This state lasts until a house party organized by his older brother, Aegon, during which an incident occurs that will change their relationship forever. Slow burn, angst, toxic ex-Alys, rough Aemond. This is several anon requests combined into one fic. ]

WARNING: The main plot between the characters takes place in high school. Yes, in high school. The belief that teenagers wait with an intimacy when they are in love in high school is ridiculous to me. Aemond and the character here are the same age. Don't ask me how old they are, in my country you are of the age of consent in your first year of high school and an adult in the last year of high school, so if it is more convenient for you, think about it that way and decide for yourself. In this story, I am not following the trail that they are magically friends right away, but how they become friends and what that even means. I'm writing this fic to give the perspective of young, lost people, not adult women who want to see exactly themselves in everything they read. If that's all you expect, this isn't the fic for you.

I don't want whining about this in my comments or asks. I will delete these and block you. You have been warned.

Aemond + Evans Series Moodboard

This is my first story that has its own playlist, but yes! Get in the mood!

Story Music Playlist.

* English is not my first language. Please, do not repost. Enjoy! *

Next chapters: Masterlist

_____

From that night onwards, she felt that they were officially a couple; they held hands when he walked her home from the bus stop and hugged at school. They didn't have to talk about anything officially − it was clear they were together.

Aegon laughed at them saying that he wondered how much longer they were going to pretend.

Since then, she spent a lot of time at his place. At first she lied to her parents about going to Helaena's, but then it became too suspicious as she spent days there and finally admitted that she and Aemond were together.

"That's great! He's such a good boy. Invite him to join us for dinner, he doesn't have to be ashamed of anything!" Said her father, patting her on the shoulder; after a moment he looked at her uncertainly, as if he had realised something.

"You know how children are made, don't you?" He asked, she sighed heavily, confessing that she knew and that she did not intend to become a mother at such a young age.

Aemond was very apprehensive about having a formal dinner with her parents even though he knew how much they liked him from the situation with Cregan.

Nevertheless, when she finally managed to convince him and he came with her to her house one day after school, they spent a very nice evening together, her parents asking him where he intended to go to university.

"I was thinking about game and programme design. I'm good at maths and computer science, but my dad says it's not a profession." He confessed reluctantly; her father looked at him surprised, swallowing loudly the bite of roast he had just had in his mouth.

"What do you mean? After all, it's the future! Programmers are being sought everywhere now. Of course it's a profession!" He said with certainty, and she smiled, seeing out of the corner of her eye the blush on her boyfriend's face, who lowered his gaze, embarrassed.

They only touched each other with their hands − he showed her how she could satisfy him with a simple squeeze of his fingers down there. She loved the time of their intimacy and closeness, tender, calm and unforced.

They didn't undress completely in front of each other, but pulled their shirts off and snuggled together, kissing, allowing themselves to feel what it was like to feel the bare skin of their beloved's body nestled against each other.

She felt safe with him.

It seemed to her that the fact that they weren't in a hurry to go anywhere even suited him, that he felt thanks to this that it wasn't just about sex but something more, that their physical closeness was the result of their passionate affection and not the other way around.

One day, when he invited her to his house when no one else was there but them, he locked himself in his room with her.

After a few days in which they had to study and had no time to see each other, he literally threw himself at her, pulling off her jumper, pressing his lips to her naked breasts, leaving her in just her panties, sliding his fingers into them in a confident motion, knowing full well that she needed this as much as he did.

"− wait −" She muttered, grabbing his hand, looking at him with a hot, thirsty gaze. He immediately put his fingers out, looking at her surprised and concerned.

"− something wrong? −" He asked in a trembling voice; she could hear that he needed and wanted it himself, that he had been waiting for it all day. She swallowed loudly feeling that her cheeks were all red.

She thought she was ready.

That she trusted him and wanted to see what it felt like.

"− if you want we can try − you know − for real −" She mumbled out quickly, lowering her gaze, playing with her fingers lying on her bare stomach, unable to look at him out of shame. She heard him draw in a loud breath, surprised, and flinched all over.

"− are you sure? − I mean − I don't know, wouldn't you rather we did it in some more special place or time? −" He asked in a trembling voice, and she felt hot in her heart at the thought that he wanted this to be a unique moment for her, that he was thinking of her first and then himself.

She glanced up at him, looking at him with confidence and warmth in her gaze.

"− it's okay − I feel like I'm ready − you know, wet and all − that we can try, I'm not afraid −" She whispered still not looking at him, feeling her heart pounding like crazy, the place between her thighs throbbing hard.

She felt him breathing anxiously beside her; he was looking at her and for a moment couldn't get anything out.

"− okay −" He mumbled at last, rising to sit down, reaching his hand into one of the drawers, taking something rustling from it. She pressed her lips together seeing that it was a condom and lowered her gaze quickly, embarrassed.

He laid it down beside her on the bedclothes, then took her cheek in his hand and turned her face so that she was looking at him; she saw tenderness, fear, desire and uncertainty in his eyes, the same feelings that were now melting in her heart.

"− if − if there's anything wrong − if you want to stop − just say so, okay? −" He muttered, as flushed as she was, and she nodded quickly.

She swallowed loudly when, with trembling hands, he reached into the material of her panties and slid them slowly down her thighs − she helped him by lifting her hips a little and shaking them off her feet, staying completely naked.

He grunted quietly, taking one of his small pillows in his hand.

"− put it under your bottom − I've read that it's easier in then −" He muttered, and she did so without a word, embarrassed and touched that he had to read about how women experience their first time, what is best for them, what will make her feel less pain then.

She spread her thighs obediently in front of him as he knelt between them, with trembling fingers undoing his button and zipper, looking down at her with his lips slightly parted, panting as she did with emotion.

"− I want you very, very much − you know? −" He asked quietly, and she nodded quickly, feeling nothing but love for him in her heart.

"− y-yes − I want you too −" She confessed with tenderness and warmth in her voice. He swallowed loudly and nodded his head as if he needed to hear it.

She saw him slide off his trousers and boxers, struggling with them a little, and after a moment they were both completely naked, vulnerable, frightened. She pressed her lips together averting her gaze as she heard him tear the foil and apply a condom, deciding that she should give him a little privacy.

She shuddered as he lay on top of her, his hands on either side of her head; they looked at each other for a moment, breathing loudly. He leaned in and pressed his lips against hers in soft, tender, slow kiss, the tips of their tongues teasing each other with the sticky click of their saliva, making her feel the throbbing between her thighs again.

She drew in a loud breath when she felt him guide the fat head of his manhood against her slit with one hand − he heard it and hushed her, placing a wet kiss on her cheek and nose.

"− relax − we'll do it slowly − we can stop at any time − hm? −" He whispered tenderly and she nodded quickly, swallowing loudly, stroking his cheek with her trembling hand.

"− spread your thighs wider − yes, just like that −" He murmured softly; she clenched her eyes shut when she felt his tip pushing painfully hard against her wet, tight walls, sliding slowly inside her. They both sighed loudly, surprised, looking at each other with big eyes.

"− oh fuck − breath deeply, okay? − easy, little one −" He exhaled in a trembling voice. She nodded quickly, feeling the discomfort of such an intense filling, from which her body involuntarily tried to protect itself.

She began to breathe deeply through her mouth, closing her eyes, concentrating on loosening her muscles. She felt that it was a tad better, and he slid deeper into her; he pushed against something inside her, although she wasn't sure what, and she twisted her body, furrowing her brow in discomfort.

"− I need to make a little more violent push now − it might hurt a bit, don't get scared − okay? −" He asked quickly and she just nodded, breathing unevenly, feeling her whole body tremble.

She felt him slide out of her, and then with a sure, hard thrust of his hips he tore something inside her, making her ache as if someone had stuck a needle in her stomach.

She squealed, clamping her hand quickly on his arm, wanting to stop him from moving any further, looking at him in horror. He looked at her in pain, breathing loudly, his thumb stroking her cheek.

"− I know − I know − you're so brave − the worst is behind us − shhh −" He whispered, and she swallowed loudly, feeling the pain slowly pass, but still surging through her insides as if he had caused her a wound.

"− hold on − okay? −" She whispered in a trembling voice and he nodded. He leaned against her, brushing her puffy lips and she put her arms around his neck, drawing him close, needing to take refuge in his embrace.

They just kissed for a while, stroking their naked bodies − she could feel him pulsing hard inside her, but he made no move, breathing loudly along with her.

"− it's better now −" She whispered into his mouth. He nodded and licked his lower lip, sliding out of her slowly only to slide back in, this time filling her to the very end.

They both looked at each other with their mouths wide open and sighed loudly, surprised that it had worked.

"− are you okay? −" He asked quickly and she nodded.

"− a tad uncomfortable − but it doesn't hurt anymore −" She mumbled out with difficulty, filled with this strange, foreign sensation of realising that she felt him so deeply inside her body, that she was completely vulnerable and dependent on him now.

"− I'm going to start moving − okay? −" He asked with excitement and she nodded quickly. He pressed his forehead against hers and slipped out of her body again almost to the very end, only to fill her again with a slow, deep thrust.

She closed her eyes and relaxed completely, feeling a pleasant tingling in her lower abdomen each time his tip rubbed the spot inside her that he usually squeezed with his fingers.

"− yes − right here −" She whispered and he groaned low, she felt him throbbing hard inside her again.

She felt his hips began to move faster inside her, his thighs slapping against her sticky buttocks with a wet click, with each of his surer motions he teased her harder and harder, her lips parted in an innocent moan.

He kissed her slipping his tongue into her mouth, stroking her cheeks and hair, purring down her throat, both of them moaning loudly as he accelerated enough to make his bed creak beneath them.

"− fuck − so good −" He exhaled as if in awe and surprise, and she clasped her hands on his buttocks, impaling herself on him, panting along with him, pleased to feel that her muscles had adjusted to his shape, that she no longer felt any discomfort.

"− Aemond −" She whispered, and he groaned low, gripping her hips with his hands, stretching her hot, wet insides with his length again, again and again, faster and more aggressively, his intense pushes giving her astonishing pleasure, his gaze as he looked down at her filled with nothing but desire.

"− fuck, Foxy − I −" He mumbled as if in embarrassment, she could feel him twitching faster and faster inside her, and she only nodded.

"− it's okay − c-cum when you want to −" She whispered in shame, and he mewled quietly, his mouth parted wide, his eyebrows arched almost as if in pain as he came, cumming into his condom, panting and moaning low.

"− oh God, baby − fuckfuckfuck −" He growled, tightening his lips, falling on top of her, moving inside her for a moment longer, convulsions of pleasure running through his body.

She hugged his naked, sweaty back, smiling and happy, feeling relieved that it wasn't horrible at all, that she felt pleasure most of the time, that despite the pain at first his words of comfort and understanding made her relax.

"− I'm sorry −" He whispered in her ear and she blinked in surprise, snapped out of her reverie and stroked his hair, kissing his temple.

"− why? − it was very pleasant −" She said tenderly, placing gentle kisses on his cheek, his face pressed into the pillow.

"− you didn't come −" He muttered, as if this was his greatest failure, as if it was a cause for immense shame and disappointment on his part.

"− I didn't want to − I just wanted to do it with you − to feel what it's like − next time we won't be so scared −" She murmured, embracing him more tightly, tracing her fingers down his spine, feeling a shiver run through him, his soft manhood still deep inside her.

"− aren't you disappointed? −" He asked uncertainly as if he wanted to make sure, and she shook her head.

"− no − I'm very happy − albeit a tad sore −" She admitted and laughed lightly; she heard him murmur beside her and he finally lifted his face, placing a loud kiss on her cheek.

"− you were so brave −"

They were both horrified and panicked when they saw the blood on his pillow and sheets, not knowing what they should do first; he dressed up quickly and went to the bathroom to get some wet wipes and a towel, while she quickly found a pad in her backpack and stuck it to her panties as soon as she got herself cleaned up, putting them on, not wanting to get anything else dirty.

"− are you sure we shouldn't − I don't know − go to the doctor? −" He asked, looking at her horrified, and she shook her head.

"No, I read that this can happen. It should stop soon, but we need to wash your bed." She muttered, and he nodded, swallowing quietly.

Together they pulled off the sheet and threw it with the pillow into the washing machine, setting it to a quick wash, and then hand-washed his mattress. Fortunately, the blood came off easily, so they simply put on new sheets, changed into pyjamas and lay in his bed, cuddling.

She felt him stroking her back as she snuggled into his chest, embracing her with his arms, both of them silent.

"− do you want me to take care of you now? −" He asked uncertainly, and she shook her head.

"− no, I don't think I'll be able to sit down tomorrow −" She said amused, lifting her head up and meeting his disappointed gaze full of remorse. She stroked his cheek and smiled at him.

"− it was perfect − just as I had dreamed − I was very scared, but thanks to you it wasn't so terrifying −" She said softly; he swallowed loudly and nodded. He looked at her uncertainly after a while, taking a strand of her hair behind her ear.

"− you know that − that I love you very much − don't you? −" He asked in a trembling voice; she smiled tenderly and nodded, a warm, peaceful feeling filling her heart.

"I know. I love you too."

_____

Aemond Taglist:

(bold means I couldn't tag you)

@its-actually-minicika @notnormalthings-blog @nikstrange @zenka69 @bellaisasleep @k-y-r-a-1 @g-cf2020 @melsunshine @opheliaas-stuff @chainsawsangel @iiamthehybrid @tinykryptonitewerewolf @namoreno @malfoytargaryen @qyburnsghost @aemondsdelight @persephonerinyes @fan-goddess @sweethoneyblossom1 @watercolorskyy @randomdragonfires @apollonshootafar @padfooteyes

[bitchesgetriches]

Bitches I need some advice.

I'm fat, okay? I'm not ashamed about it. It just... Is. I'm fat.

Being fat is also fucking me up. It's causing me sleep problems, it's fucking my joints, I can't walk as far as I used to, I haven't run in years.

I want to lose weight. Not for anyone else. For me. I want to be fit again.

I'm surrounded by people telling me I'm "not fat" and need to "love myself like I am". I'm 210lb and 5'3". Ya girl is fat. And I'm okay with that it's not a bad word. I love myself. But I also love the things I used to be able to do when I was fitter. It's just really fucking hard.

I've got zero support left and right. And I don't know what to do. I know this isn't your area of expertise, but you're such great internet mamas that maybe you can help.

My darling child, we are SO humbled that you came to us with this. And while this isn't an area of our OFFICIAL expertise... weight and athleticism is something that I, Piggy, personally think a lot about! So let me see if I can offer some support to you, my beloved fat child.

By way of background: I have never been fat. Heavier than I want currently, but not fat. So I don't completely understand what you're going through. I have always been an athlete of one sort or the other. But more than that, I have always had the privilege of being relatively skinny without trying. At peak fitness I was running and rock climbing and doing all the stretchy and weight-trainy stuff. I was 5'5" and 130 lbs of jacked Bitch.

I am also a proud Italian American woman, which means that after 30 genetics decreed that I start putting on weight and rounding out and coming into my full Zia-ness. I'm currently 155 lbs. and running/climbing/stretching/jumping about/weight training is getting harder and harder. And that's frustrating to me.

Fat is not a bad word, merely a descriptor. So I'mma use it just as you have! I'm proud that you are prioritizing your health and ability to do what you love over losing weight for the sake of just being smaller. Because let's be clear: weight and health do not necessarily go hand in hand. If your goal is to improve your sleep quality, energy levels, and joint pain, then you should focus on activities that will work directly on those issues. Maybe that'll lead to weight loss--maybe not!

A lot of the medical establishment is cruel to fat people, so I'd be cautious about approaching this with your doctor. But you SHOULD get medical guidance before embarking on any kind of physical change. If your doctor says "Well, just lose weight through diet and exercise!" then you might want to look for a new doctor. If they instead offer practical solutions for incremental improvement, then great.

One of my favorite athletes is The Mirnavator. She's a fat marathon runner and offers a lot of information on how to start walking more and running as a fat person. I think she'll be a good role model for you as she focuses a lot on energy and joint health.

Also, you should check out Aubrey Gordon's blog Your Fat Friend and her podcast with Michael Hobbes, Maintenance Phase. She's also got some great books out! She's a fat expert on weight loss and diet culture. And her insights into healthy nutrition and body image are amazing. Her data-based approach will help you avoid the extreme dieting and weight loss trends that can hurt your health. Plus she's funny as fuck.

Lastly I will just say that mental health is tied to physical health. You're bummed about not doing the things you use to be able to do... and that probably makes it a lot harder to change! Acknowledge any depression or anxiety you feel about being fat and give yourself compassion. Start small and do what feels good.

Now here are two VERY old articles I wrote when I knew less about fatness. I think they still have a little bit to offer, though:

Why You Probably Don't Need That Gym Membership

Run With Me if You Want to Save: How Exercising Will Save You Money 

Any fat members of Bitch Nation who want to weigh in? Uh... pun not intended.

[incandescentflower]

I am officially on board with Century of Love. Honestly, I was from the beginning, but I am now caught up. I personally love mythology that is completely surprising and out and out bonkers, and serves to set up good emotional conflict.

We have curses and deaging (which congrats to the young actor who somehow can channel Daou's "I'm done with this shit" expression) and nightly suffering in the name of love. Every little peel back of this story has been so fun.

And top it all off with the straight out of fanfiction story that Vee's presence is what can sooth San's physical (manifestation of emotional) pain.

It uses tropes in such fun ways, the big and the small. I don't think I've ever enjoyed the accidental fall on each other trope as much as I did in ep 3 . I was howling with laughter. I love that they don't take themselves too seriously and they used this, not as a big romantic moment, but as an awkward situation we get to watch San squirm though haha

I'm also excited (trying to tamp it down a little) that it seems like we are going to get some exploration of what really makes someone them - what makes up the totality of a person. San is convinced Vee is not Wat. But Wat was a rich woman in the 1920s and Vee is a poor man in the 2020s. Wat had to be a lot of things that San says she was because of expectations on her. Vee has had other experiences that would make him act differently - and he points that out - the time they live in allows for that.

(as a side note, I love the socio-economic flip that is happening in the present with San being well-established and wealthy and Vee struggling and lower class)

But even if they seem very different, Vee still is so incredibly kind in the same ways we saw Wat being. Vee wanted to help kid-San as soon as he saw him, he is almost singularly focused on taking care of his grandmother. He put those dudes who were stabbed into the taxi (what?? okay fine show whatever) and that was pretty much exactly what Wat did for San when she met him??

San is definitely not the exact same person as he was 100 years ago before he spent years of searching and suffering, coping with a devastating loss of the one he loved. A lived life does change a person, but do those things change the central core of who we are and what another person may fall in love with? I would love if this show grapples with that. To me that would be a fun twist on "the reincarnated lovers have the exact same dynamic and pick up exactly where they left off" story that often happens in dramas.

Whipped cream on top is that I also love San's descendants (at least the ones who live with him) and this very Goblin (kdrama) vibe of "care-taking the immortal" relationship San has going on with them.

The mix of levity and mythology and high stakes in this show is really quite delightful. I'm pretty psyched about it.

[xielianlover2]

Okay. I need to talk about Xie Lian. This is gonna be a bit rambly, jumbled, and unedited because I am kinda sleep-deprived right now.

Out of every fictional character I’ve read about… Xie Lian stands out as possessing the most remarkable mental fortitude and resilience I’ve ever seen. He’s such a brave and stubborn man. He’s, well… a diamond in the rough. 

I always thought him to be really mature for his age in the flashbacks. He was what, only around 16-17? And then after he descended down to save his kingdom, he was around the mental age of 20. He was barely an adult. Yet he had his whole kingdom’s fate on his shoulders, and the way he was treated was beyond horrible. 

That’s the problem with getting assigned the role of a leader… a general even. The number of deaths, their successes, their losses all fall upon the one who had the most status, most importance. So many people blamed Xie Lian for the fall on Xianle, but really, none of that was on him. Xianle was gonna fall either way due to all the politics and strife. But my goodness. To put all that blame on a child??? It’s so despicable. 

It made me terribly sad to see Xie Lian blame himself for what happened to Xianle and his people, when they were the ones who put him on a pedestal and did nothing to help ease his burdens. I think Xie Lian has natural charisma and could be a good leader, however he does not have the heart for it. He cares too much. He’s the type who wants to save everyone. He doesn’t like or want to see people suffer, even those considered his enemies. 

Xie Lian suffers a lot. He goes through so much, goes to unimaginable suffering constantly for 800 years. However, the core message of the series is that Xie Lian, as an individual, has the power to decide his own fate. He has the power to decide to remain pure at heart in the face of immeasurable suffering and to not give into Bai Wuxiang’s manipulations.  

His suffering can’t even be put into words. To be blamed for a whole kingdom dying. To blame himself for the horrifying Human-Face disease. Then he was banished and cursed and hunted by the Yong’an’s people. He became extremely depressed on top of trying to survive and take care of his parents each day. Mu Qing helped a lot, but he too eventually left. He resorted to stealing, which went completely against his morals. He was cornered by 33 Heavenly Officials, who humiliated and bullied him, Mu Qing being one of the people involved as well. All the while being haunted bu Bai Wuxiang, who’s truly a sadistic, unredeemable monster. Then he was brutally stabbed fatally hundreds of times in the most horrific way possible and the recovery-time was just two months of pain with the monster who made it all happen keeping him for company. Then Feng Xin left because Xie Lian changed too much, was too hurt and numb and lashed out. 

Then his parents left him too in a way. And Xie Lian probably blames himself for that. So at that point, Xie Lian just craved death. But he couldn’t even die because of the cursed shackle. 

But still. Still. Even after going after Lang Ying and having Wu Ming burn down the palace and could release the Human-Face disease all over the Yong’an kingdom.

He still chose to pin himself on the ground outside with the same sword that killed him hundreds of times… and waited for three whole days for one, just one person, one samaritan to help him. He still had a dredge of hope in humanity. In people. Because in the end, Xie Lian is an empathetic and kind person. He believes and has hope in people- because he is a pure-hearted person himself, and has to believe there are other people like him out there. Because he can’t be the only one. (He’s not, but a person like him is one out of millions.)

And deep inside he starts to believe Bai Wuxiang’s words when he come on the third day to convince him that this test/social experiment he was doing was pointless. That it is all so hopeless, and these people aren’t worth living, not after how much Xie Lian suffered at their hands. 

But all it took was one person. He was waiting. To be proved wrong. He wanted to be proved wrong, even after everything. That truly… I don’t have words for how amazing that is. 

And then. Even after 800 years of having literally nothing. 800 years of loneliness, suffering, and depression. Being nailed through the heart and buried alive for an undetermined time. Just so he could save more people again. He still remained the same. So pure of heart. So sweet and kind. He even asked for his second shackle to take away his luck so other people more “deserving” than him can take it. 

He still has his problems. His mental health is terrible. He’s very depressed. He chose to stay in a coffin for what could be a hundred years because of self-flagellation probably.

He has no self-esteem, except he’s so interestingly contradictory. He loathes himself, but he also believes he’s completely right. If Xie Lian had to do everything over again, I have no doubt he would do the same thing, except the second-time, maybe blame himself less, because he knows deep down what he is doing is right. He has a simple, but strict moral code. All he wants to do is the right thing. That means saving the common people. Interfere and help if he sees someone suffering. If he can save one person, he will save one person. If he can save a hundred people, he will save a hundred people. 

What a stubborn, beautiful person. 

Book 8: “I won’t! I won’t I won’t change!”… He’s been pent up for far too long. It was as though he’d been waiting for a chance like this all these years, and tears rolled as he screamed. “I won’t change! Even if it’s painful, even if I die, I won’t change, I will never change!”

And he didn’t. He has more than proven that he won’t change even if he died a hundred times. He won’t change even if he died a million times. Even as a young adult, he stood in front of a whole village of people after experiencing what is it like to feel stabbed fatally hundred of times already and was ready to do it all over again willingly. With even more people, even a whole kingdom of people.

Insane does not even begin to cover it. What an extraordinary resilient and compassionate person. 

Xie Lian is truly… something else. Something beyond words. He is also the only type of God I would willingly pray to. 

I understand why Hua Cheng would go to any extent for him. 

[chussyracing]

f1 news, rumours and interesting facts from the last few days

Alpine is parting ways with Director of Racing Expansion Projects Davide Brivio at the end of 2023 despite his contract running into 2024, there are rumours he will join Repsol Honda motogp team as a team boss

Aston Martin got approval for a new research and development facility in Silverstone

Either Andrea Stella is joking or smoking crack because he thinks in equal cars, the three best drivers on the grid would be Max, Lando and Fernando

Jannik Sinner scored a partnership with f1 to attend some races and promote the sport (and then visited Maranello)

Kubica is confirmed for ferrari's third hypercar and Shwartzman said he is interested in the seat as well - but he also tested indycar with Ganassi

Sainz says new ferrari 2024 car (or protect rather than a car at this point) behaves differently in the sim to the 2023 one

Aramco signed 5 year extension with am and they will be named aston martin aramco f1 team

Alfa Romeo is now Stake F1 Team Kick Sauber..... (and alpha tauri added the "RB" to their name which could be racing bulls but also red bull)

Merc is finally leaving the no side pod design to allow more event distribution and less drag

Charles won the overtake of the year with his move on Perez in Las Vegas!!!!

Fia changed rules about misconduct (and officially changed maximum fine to 1m euros, prohobited the use of flares on grandstands and shortened the right to review from 14 days to 96 hours aka 4 days)

Rbr did a pit stop in dark for some kind of dick measuring contest and got 2.84s which is just faster of ferrari's normal pit stops (if we have all 4 tyres ready)

Button to hypercar with Jota in 2024

Alpine finished the shares selling to us investors (the reynolds guy thingy)

Max went on about how absurd his fee is despite his team saying they will pay for him so... um 🤐

Fia hired more staff for in factory check ups to visit every 2/3 weeks but they wanna start visits with little to no notice where they call the factory and immediately visit in 10/15 mins

Rbr will start making a new wind tunnel in Milton Keynes that should be finished in (or was it by?) 2026

Ferrari confirmed the previously rumoured date of 2024 car presentation for 13th feb (Fred also said the car will be 95% different which supports Carlos saying the car concept is very different in sim and Fred saying they completely skipped two upgrades this year to focus more on 2024, among other stuff Fred also said both drivers will start on equal terms during the new season start)

Audi is rumoured to be keeping tabs on Lawson besides Ocon and Hulkenberg

there is a new ferrari challenge with matt gallagher from shell (someone remind me to watch it along the math challenge when I have time, also shout out to shell because I love the mini playing car from them i got) and the secret santa was posted (it is kinda boring this year ngl)

Also! The head fortuneteller Mika Hakkinen said yesterday that he thinks mclaren will take another step ahead in performance for 2024 and challenge red bull closer that merc or ferrari, but he also said that ferrari are finally on a correct path and Fred is the one team principal under which they will win a championship again "sooner or later"

While I knew f1 drivers are prohobited from doing dangerous stuff (unless you are Charles Leclerc and can make puppy eyes, then you can run half a marathon, wall climb, ice wall climb, scuba dive, ride and water scooter and what not), but I did not know red bull (and probably other drivers) have it specified in their contract they can't even drive a motorbike - which some of them wanted to do at Honda thanks day seeing Marc Marquez on his bike

Ben Sulayem is playing some weird game i do not like taking a dig at jean todt for leaving the fia operating with a loss (completely disregarding that's counting the covid years where motorsports events often couldn't even take place and lawsuit fees for the use of halo) and saying how under him the non profit organisation will get balanced sheet by 2025 (also said how fia must focus on safety and reputation which... hmm)

There are some rumours about the fia and its integrity and governing abilities (I just learned about how they fucked up wtcc and then wtcr after making the championship with close fights and easy rules where more teams could get in too exclusive opening chance for Citroën only to get ready for new rules so they dominated everything and adding huge spoilers which created dirty air and kept overtaking close to zero. Sounds scarily similar to f1 these days?)

[alextydaisuda123]

NONONONONONO HEAR ME OUT OK

Just saying

If I cut off all of the arms, except Peppino's, wouldn't that make peppino the main and give him his body back? (Sorry if I'm saying this weirdly)

Isn't that what you want? Or am I misassuming the current 'problem' here...?

Noise: Interesting idea, “genius”, well, the fat-ass will be freed from our hands, and what do you tell US to do?! We don’t even have our own bodies and you’re suggesting that we lose the only thing that’s left of us?!

Peppino: I didn't think I'd say this, but Noise is right. If I lose the rest of my hands, it’s unlikely that this will change anything significantly. This will just make others angry. In addition, the point is not even that, but the fact that we ALL need to free ourselves from each other COMPLETELY, without any losses..Besides, I already own my body, I just sometimes let others use it, within the limits of what is possible..

Pepperman: We officially declare that we will not test your method ...no matter how strong our desire to free ourselves is.

[zzencat]

Some of my own Tarot observations + interpretations so far (outside their universal meanings):

Note: NOT IN ORDER and more of my outside-of-the-box interpretations. Some 18+ mentions. Mostly made as a list for me to keep in mind — Will be updated sometimes

Last updated: sept 19, 2024

Queen of Swords: sharp tongue, head over heart (naturally unbiased, yet still neutral and self-defensive); will come to your defense if she trusts you and what your argument is; very logical; feminine energy/figure mentor

Queen of Cups: expects reciprocation; very emotionally in tune and intuitive

The Star: inspiration, young at heart, unforgettable impression; status of celebrity/public recognition

3 of cups: cheating (in romantic relationship); a feeling or person that doesn’t belong; “3 is a crowd”

The Hermit: urging to taking a “step” in an unknown direction (there’s only so much you could light up with the lamp), either a step into the inner depths of your character, mind, and soul, or a step forward in a life/daily choice

4 of wands: can symbolize moving somewhere else

4 (in general) - stability, contemplation, stagnation, defensive/defending (a person/situation/establishment/achievement/foundation), conservation

Numbers 5 and 7 - “pit stops�� in my definition ,, 5 being big blockage #1 and 7 being extra doubt when things are going too good

4 of pentacles: doing too much/too little; selfish; frugal/strict with money

2 of cups: dating stage (not necessarily love)

The Devil: can escape from situation but mentally/emotionally blinded; feeling full-on horny

The Sun rx: not getting enough sun/not going outside enough, introversion; loss of youth; vulnerable — too vulnerable that you’re stripped dry and will disintegrate (lowkey pitiful)

The hanged man: seeing things from a different/uncomfortable perspective; boredom; laziness; masochism

2 of swords: you alr know what the answer is/what to do so stop contemplating; taking a shot in the dark; challenging yourself or not really trying

The Tower: self sabotage, erections, orgasms

Ace of swords: erections, forming an idea (good or bad)

Page of swords: “I have an idea!” - but it’s from a kid so it comes off as cute and immature (underdeveloped idea/not to be taken seriously yet)

Page of Wands: “I guess this is where we split, huh? It’s a shame, but I’ll see you at some point!”

10 of swords (aside from backstabs and cutting things off, end of a cycle): sooooo done n tired with life and everything; sadder but stronger; eyebags; a clearly depressed person

9 of swords: “this shit keeps me awake at night…”

Hanged man, 8 of swords, the devil: pretty much the same when talking abt stagnant energy [you have completely power to leave and improve your situation, but ya ain’t bc of your own self (mentally/emotionally)]; purposely trapping yourself in that state and playing victim; masochistic tendencies (in sex as well)

5 of wands: instigator, paying attention to the lesser of two evils, someone who easily gets into fights/argumentative but can’t see the bigger picture

Wheel of fortune, 2 of wands, the chariot: make a decision even if you think it’s the wrong path or direction; the worst thing you can do is stop/be in stagnancy

Judgment: playing by your own tune, reflection, needing to change up old ways

Justice: good or bad karma, not getting what you deserve, being too harsh on oneself/strict; working in the justice system

High priestess + the chariot + temperance (+ maybe the moon): when in the same reading, it can signify movement between realms (I just observed this in recent readings so I’d need to get more info); being at an interface or point of equilibrium

High Priestess: seeing things you can’t see; a state between the 3D and 5D

7 of cups (I’ve officially defined this one a while ago and am 99% sure it represents at least one of these whenever it shows up): frustration; impatience; idleness; procrastination; confusion; many things offered to you; not knowing what to do next (HOWEVER a big nuance between 7 of cups and 4 of cups, is that 7oC is more…“active” energy, like more…emotionally charged in frustration than 4oC. 4oC is more bordering indifference when waiting for things to play out or waiting for more to come in before you make a decision…waiting for the “right” moment. 7oC is like you’re gonna choose one of the options while you have them—you just don’t know what to do/choose or which way to go)

King of cups: being emotionally receptive and kindhearted but also naive—not as emotionally intelligent or intuitive as the Queen of cups tho

4 of cups: shit waiting on the back burner but querent/subject is purposely tuning them out (slightly more in depth under the 7oC bullet point); stalling bc you keep trying to have hope a better outcome will surface

Queen of wands: willing to get hands dirty to get what you want, spontaneous/moving without plan

7 of swords: perceived deception/sneakiness/lies; reevaluation/recalibration (but the recalibration aspect relies on the independent variable- like having to trick yourself into thinking you’re happy when you’re not)

Queen of pentacles: smart, practical, organized (more so than the other queens)

The Lovers: primal desire for the other (romantic or platonic); seeking validation (presumably one feels less/“more naked” in the face of the other); taking you “out of yourself”; deliberately putting yourself in a vulnerable position even if you lose yourself in the process; quality you desire to have within yourself (may cause unhealthy behaviors/thinking patterns); connection with your counterpart (meaning also your relationship with yourself); mind, body, and soul connection (own personal holy self trinity)

Blindfolds: easily cut/removed -> answer/preferred direction or method is right in front of you, but you’re choosing not to see it or do it

8 of swords: (in a courtroom example) the defendant is the person trapped in the swords — the swords in this case would be the people’s opinions of the person or their own thoughts (any of which are in the form of ideas that are projected and trap the defendant inside that “cage”)

7 of wands: too much responsibility on querent/subject

9 of pentacles: having time to relax and do what you want like hobbies or hitting people up; spoiled (rich background); living in luxury so you don’t have to worry about other things

5 of pentacles: mental illness or declining mental health (when you could get help right around the corner); being physically sick

3 of swords: depression; deep sorrow; unfulfilled emotional desires; being on your period(?)

TBA

Extras:

From what I’ve observed and tested out, Tarot reading picks up on energies at the current millisecond — energies are more fluid than time and change every single second — cards will pick up on the overwhelming majority of where the energy is (assuming the tarot reader is at a balanced and unbiased state of mind). You could be happy one minute, sad the next (maybe moodiness problems)

Cards will pick up on future spouse qualities that you dream of yours having (or fantasize about) and not necessarily always your real future spouse

Sometimes the cards “don’t answer” your question. The cards that come out are what you’re supposed to be focusing on

TBA

[esperr]

Shitty parents in omori - Aubrey

Character/story analysis

Throughout omori we meet the parents/guardians of Kel/Hero and Basil, but we barely know anything about Sunny or Aubrey’s parents. In this analysis I will be focusing mainly on Aubrey’s parents, and how they have effected her in the long term/the way she is in the real world after sunny reunites with Kel. I might make a follow up talking about Sunny’s parents in the future.

Many people headcanon that Aubrey grew up in a strict or abusive household, and it is even slightly implied. It is also implied that she grew up in poverty, based on the rugged state of Aubrey’s house as we see it in the game. One thing we DO know about Aubrey’s parents is that her father left after her death. At first I wasn’t sure if this was cannon or just a head cannon, but after some digging I found out that it was actually mentioned by one of the church goers in the church scene. The state of the house and the trash littering the sides of the house could be because her mother slipped into a depression after her husband left, causing her to be unable to take care of her daughter and her house. In the game, kel also states that he does not remember ever going to play at her house. This could be because of her family’s state/her parents fighting all the time, leading up to her father leaving. She probably did not invite her friends over because of this. Because if her parents constantly fighting they may have also neglected household chores, causing her house to be a bit of a mess. We also see a stop sign outside of her house, which could be a metaphor for how she never let anyone inside

In Basil’s photo album we see that Aubrey is close friends with everyone in the main 6. She was probably especially close to Mari, seeing her as some sort of older sister/motherly figure, especially because of her poor family life, Making her death even more impactful on her. Dealing with the death of a close friend AND her father suddenly leaving was probably very difficult for her, especially since her mother was dealing with the absence of her husband at the same time, and was likely unfit to take care of her daughter. Because Aubrey had no one to turn to, and no where to let out her feelings in a healthy way- she became violent. And this is why she acts the way that she does when we see her in the real world

these are 2 official arts of Aubrey and Mari. One was from Aubrey’s birthday animation, and I THINK the other one was from a birthday drawing of Mari. We see Aubrey wearing Mari’s old clothes. This is official art but technically it’s not cannon in the game I guess ?? But it still implies that she was very close to Mari and her family, close enough to be gifted Mari’s old clothes. We don’t know why they would gift them to her. Maybe in attempt for Mari’s parents to move on from her death either to forget about it, or just to move on in general and not to keep grieving the past. I am leaning more towards the first one based on what we’ve seen from Sunny and Mari’s parents throughout the game and how young she looks in the drawing/how soon it was after Mari’s death

This next part involves both Aubrey and Sunny: WHY DID NEITHER OF THIER PAREBTS PUT THEM IN THERAPY???? This is the main thing that sort of confirms that they both have neglectful parents. I understand that grief can change a person and it can be very hard to seek help and try to move on in a healthy way- but not getting help for your children ??? That’s crazy It’s completely understandable why Aubrey acts the way that she does when she quite literally had ZERO support, not even from her friends as they were all also grieving, and the friend group drifted apart because of this. It makes sense why she’s so angry at her friends, she felt as if she was left alone when she needed help the most. Grief/the loss of a loved one in general can change how someone may act, but it ESPECIALLY can effect someone’s personality if they do not get the proper help they need.

This last part is a bit off topic, but I thought it was an interesting parallel between Aubrey and Sunny. Sunny “accidentally” ousted Mari down the stairs in an argument and Aubrey pushed basil into the river when she was angry.

If you made it so far thanks for reading !! If you have anything to add or if you’d be interested in a sunny version lmk !!

[astheskycries]

Official Protected Series Notes

In case anyone missed previous posts, the Protected series has been discontinued. Even so, I'm going to reveal the (edited for grammar and spelling) notes for the entire series that includes original ideas, summaries of the novels that were planned, the original images for the series, and more. I'll of course be putting this all below the cut in order to keep things clean and easy, but please feel free to send in any asks about it and I'll be happy to answer the best I can.

Below is a direct copy and paste from my notes document, only changed to capitalize word vomit notes and to improve grammar.

***********WEDDING VOWS FOR STEVE********* 

- "You've taught me so much about life: love, loss, what it means to be cared for above all else. You've kept me together and even when I doubted you, you've still loved me. I want to make you the happiest girl in the world. I want you to never regret choosing me. I love you so much, Felicity Stark, and I always will." 

***************WEDDING VOWS FOR TY*************** 

- "No matter what I've done and who I've been, you've stood by my side, even if you didn't agree. You've kept me safe and never broken your promise to take care of me. You've taught me what it means to be loved by someone, to be worthy of love and attention. I am completely in love with you, Steve, and you couldn't get rid of me if you tried." 

ORIGINAL ACCEPTED PLANS/IDEAS

Option A:

HYDRA and jonathan took control of bucky’s and took his mind, and steve is panicked when he finds out the soldier is gone and travels to new york, finding out from tony that she was captured and following the car to where tony’s first weapons manufacturing warehouse (the one blown up in the fight with obediah) and going after her 

⁃ Jonathan dies after Maggie went after him and they were fighting and part of the wall explodes and then she's fighting him next to this gaping hole and Steve's running in the compound to reach her and the others watch as she finally knocks him off the building and he dies and she's staring in stunned silence and is horrified that she hurt someone and Steve reaches her and instantly wraps his arms around her before leaning over and seeing the body and all he does is shush her and hold her closer before kissing her hair and then she shoves him away (not roughly) and demands 'what are you doing here?' and Steve asks 'did you think I would let you go?' she opens her mouth to speak, not sure what will come out, but he cuts her off before she can begin. 'I love you, Maggie. I will never let you go again.' 

⁃ In end there's a meeting where she's accepted into the avenger's initiative (not an avenger but an honorary trainee) and in the end bucky walks in and Steve stares at him stunned and whispers 'bucky' and then the book cuts off 

⁃ Now that Jonathan's dead, Maggie and Steve have to continue taking down HYDRA- which is easier said than done when you're also planning a wedding (wedding is pushed to the end- stress of hydra causes small fights, etc.) 

⁃ They argue about something (safety or something) and she snaps 'you forget that I know what it's like to suffer. my mother died because I couldn't make enough money to buy the medicine. we aren't as different as you'd like to think.' and Steve instantly loses the anger and apologizes gently and holds her close as she fights back tears because she feels guilty 

⁃ Zoe and bucky end up together somehow (maybe after he woke up and remembered she's the first person he opened up to beside Steve) (Zoe can make it somewhat tough for sergeant Barnes) 

Option B:

- Steve is panicked when he finds out the soldier is gone and travels to New York, finding out from tony that she was captured and following the car to where Tony's first weapons manufacturing warehouse (the one blown up in the fight with Obediah) and going after her 

⁃ Jonathan dies after Maggie went after him and they were fighting and part of the wall explodes and then she's fighting him next to this gaping hole and Steve's running in the compound to reach her and the others watch as she finally knocks him off the building and he dies and she's staring in stunned silence and is horrified that she hurt someone and Steve reaches her and instantly wraps his arms around her before leaning over and seeing the body and all he does is shush her and hold her closer before kissing her hair and then she shoves him away (not roughly) and demands 'what are you doing here?' and Steve asks 'did you think I would let you go?' She opens her mouth to speak, not sure what will come out, but he cuts her off before she can begin. 'I love you, Maggie. I will never let you go again.’ 

-When Maggie meets Bucky, he says, 'I heard the punk isn’t treating you right,” He smirks, his eyes getting a devious glint. “Want me to straighten him out?” 

⁃They argue about something (safety or something), and she snaps 'you forget that I know what it's like to suffer. my mother died because I couldn't make enough money to buy the medicine. We aren't as different as you'd like to think.' and Steve instantly loses the anger and apologizes gently and holds her close as she fights back tears because she feels guilty 

-Zoe and Bucky end up together somehow (maybe after he woke up and remembered she's the first person he opened up to beside Steve) (Zoe can make it somewhat tough for sergeant Barnes) 

3.5 UNEXPECTED  

⁃ Zoe has spent her life watching Maggie and keeping her safe, but now that she's fallen in love with Captain America, she's lost that job to Steve. Now living for herself, Zoe stumbles across the missing Bucky Barnes- who doesn't want to be found, especially not by someone who can easily alert Steve. Now she's left to help him sift through the memories HYDRA left and possibly show him how to love again. 

4 UNHINGED 

After finally getting married and settling into their new lives, Maggie and Steve are finally focused on the future of both the Avengers and the rest of the world. It starts off simple enough, but trouble rolls in as Bucky becomes more and more unstable, forcing them to choose between him and the consequences of destroying Jonathan as the couple struggles to hold on.  

5 VENGEANCE 

After Bucky Barnes' vindication, Steve and Maggie settle into life as the heads of SHIELD and what that truly means for their future. When Steve gets a job offer he can’t refuse, he begins to lead a “normal” life that keeps his family out of danger… At a price. With his boss becoming more and more dangerous as Maggie tries to support Steve and the new Avengers, there could be dark consequences to Steve turning his back on his team- and his wife. 

-Steve gets a “normal” job where his boss secretly wants to destroy the avengers, but Steve doesn’t believe Maggie when she tells him because he wants so badly to believe he’s living a normal life and doing the right thing.

Maybe a fifth? unsure 

Maybe about the kids 

ICONS 

Tags: @janeyboo  @mylittlefandomfanfictions  @palaiasaurus64  @averyrogers83  @guera31  @soulmates8  @coffeebooksandfandom  @sweater-daddiesdumbdork  @pegasusdragontiger  @mizzzpink  @onetwo3000  @see-you-again-my-sun-and-stars  @sleepylunarwolf  @wheresmyplums  @smoothdogsgirl  @marvelouslyme96  @esoltis280  @jtargaryen18  @k-evans-writes  @rainbowkisses31  @buchanansebba  @katiew1973  @patzammit  @time-for-a-lullaby @openup-yourmind

[absurdthirst]

Religious Corruption: Our Gentle Sin

Professor!Dave York x Virgin!F!Reader

Rating: Explicit

Word Count: 12.2k

Warnings: Religion kink, corruption kink, innocence kink, age gap, unbalanced power dynamic, grooming (?), professor/student relationship, blasphemy, vaginal fingering, oral sex (female receiving), panty kink, exhibitionist kink(?), oral sex (make receiving), filthiness with rosary beads, desecration of Holy spaces, daddy kink, baby/little girl pet names, spanking, orgasm denial, loss of virginity, explicit photo without consent, vaginal sex, cum swallowing, mentions of analingus, face sitting, pussy spanking, unprotected sex, angst, heartbreak, controlling parents, arranged marriage, family drama, threats of disownment, derogatory language (whore), children, mentions of pregnancy.

Comments: Now that the truth has come out - you were a conquest for Dave York's corruption kink - it's time to see how the dice fall. Do you go back to what your parents want for your life, or do you let Dave back in?

Co-written with @pedropascalsx

!!Additional Warnings!! - There are themes in this fic that might be disturbing to some. Religion/Power Dynamics/Age Gap - consume at your own risk.

|| MasterList || Religious Corruption MasterList ||

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Click Keep Reading only if you have read the Rating and Warnings and understand the warnings may not be complete to avoid listing spoilers. As AO3 says 'creator chooses not to use warnings'. You also agree that you're the right age to be consuming anything here.

His calls go straight to voicemail. His texts are rejected. You've turned off the app that allows him to see where you are. You've blocked him. Dave stares at his phone and the ache in his heart is nearly overwhelming. He wants to drive straight to your dorm and beat on the door, demanding that you listen to him but he knows you need space. You need to calm down in order to listen and he needs to organize his own thoughts and figure out how to explain.

Sitting down at his computer, Dave opens up his official school email and starts to type.

Sweetheart,

I first want to tell you that I'm sorry. I'm sorry for hurting you and making you cry. The only time I like seeing tears on your pretty face is when you are overwhelmed. Feeling good and I know you were not feeling good when you left tonight.

You were right. It started out as a conquest. Your virginity was a prize for me to claim. I never have been a moral or righteous man, you have to know this. Why else would corrupting you be so sexy to me? Why would making you break all the promises you made to your parents, to yourself, to God, be such a thrill? I guess you are right. I am evil.

But.....something changed. I know you saw the girls before you. The other 'good girls' that I corrupted. They were....victims of my own sins. They were prizes that were tossed away when the innocence was gone. If you read the book, you saw that I wrote a lot about them and there is very little that has been noted about you since the day I took your virginity. It's- I stopped writing because I - fuck, I don't even know why, really.

I realized yesterday that I had stopped. That it had stopped being a game for me. I brought you home. None of the others were ever allowed to spend the night, to stay with me. I never wanted them here. I kept the journal at home because they were not there and I just- didn't feel the need in writing down everything that I had done with you - to you.

Please talk to me. Please give me a chance to explain in person. To apologize. I owe you an apology, baby girl. I will get down on my fucking knees and beg for forgiveness if you will just talk to me. To let me show you that it's not a game anymore. Honestly it might have never been. I don't know. I just know that I hate myself right now, I hate that I hurt you and I hate that I can't pull you into my arms and hold you.

Talk to me, scream at me, hit me, I don't care. I deserve it. Just....please believe me when I say that I love you.

Dave

He stares at the email. Unhappy with how inarticulate he sounds, how badly he conveys his emotions in this. It's hard to try to write what he is feeling when all he wants to do is pull you into his lap and promise you with his kisses that you mean more to him than just a page in a trophy book. That he needs you to be happy. Dropping his head to his hand, Dave rubs his eyes, watery and red, and looks back at the email again. 

He knows you might just bin it. So instead of hitting send, Dave saves it as a draft and closes his laptop. He'll talk to you tomorrow in class.

*

The second you climbed into the uber you had blocked his number, not wanting to hear his excuses, not wanting to be suckered in by the man you know you love. The man you know could never love you.

You sent an email out to the Faculty supervisor advising that you didn���t feel Dave's class was for you and that you’d be dropping it from your timetable immediately. 

*

You began sobbing again as your uber pulled up outside your dorm, the driver shot you a reassuring look as you climbed out. 

You took your time approaching your building, not wanting to be back in the cold and lonely dorm room you had rarely stayed in the past few months. Only really staying when Dave had to speak to parents or had a faculty meeting that would be running late. 

It’s weird. That’s the first thought you have as you open the door to your room, it feels like home. But not the one you had made at Dave’s. The one you spent years growing up in, cold and lonely, too scared to make too much noise and too anxious to ever feel comfortable in. 

You trace the crappy wooden desk with your fingers, your bible, rosary and cross tucked neatly in the corner. Gifts from your parents that have since that been used as props in the depravity you played out with him.

‘What did I do?’ you murmur out loud as tears drench your puffy cheeks.

A week. That’s what you gave yourself, a week of no classes, a week of living off sandwiches and only showering when you couldn’t put it off any longer. Lying comfortably in your bed with your phone switched off and making no effort to contact the outside world, apart from when you switched on your laptop in midweek and ordered an insane amount of food from instacart to be dropped off outside your door.

You wondered if he tried to call, you wondered if he’d noticed his number was blocked. And then you started to wonder if he’d simply moved on to the next girl. That particular thought makes bile rise in your throat and threaten to spill out across your bedsheets.

*

Dave didn't sleep. Tossing and turning all night, he was on his phone every fifteen minutes. Checking to see if you messaged him, if he had missed a call. Several of his own texts pinging back as undeliverable since he was blocked. He had almost gone out to buy another phone to try to talk to you but decided against it. You wanted space and he decided to give it to you even though he hated it. 

He doesn't see the email until he is nearly ready to leave for campus. The Faculty advisor for the freshman class, your class, with an email title containing your name. 

Making him sit down and listen to his heart pounding in his ears as he clicks on the email. Disappointment, heartache and anger at himself swirling in the pit of his stomach as he reads that you are dropping his class, effective immediately. 

Shit. Dave shakes his head and snaps the laptop shut. Needing to talk to you, he stops himself from going to your dorm and beating on your door. He'll give you a week to calm down. You deserve it after what he's done.

*

A knock at your door pulls you away from the book you’re half paying attention to. ‘That was quick’ you think to yourself, assuming that it must be the driver dropping off the Oreos and Jalapeño Cheddar cheetos you had been craving. You quietly creep towards the door, and peer through the peephole. ‘Fuck,’ you mouth as you slowly move back away from the door.

An entire fucking week. It's how long it's been since you walked out of his house and of his life. 

Dave is fucking miserable. Hating how he keeps looking for you in class, despite knowing that you've dropped it. Deandra tapping on his fucking door during office hours and raising his hopes only have them die a swift death when her overeager and too cheerful face pops in the door. He's come close to canceling classes all week, but he would have to explain that to the department heads and what could he possibly tell them?

He's rearranged his house. Driving the two hours out of town to where he would take you shopping. Far away from the college and anyone either one of you could possibly know. You love window shopping and imagining. A swivel chair, one that hangs off a base and allows you to spin around completely had been your favorite and you often moaned about having enough money to buy it. Telling him in detail exactly where you would put it in his home. It now sits right where you wanted it. To the left of the table where he sits to grade papers. It lets him imagine you sitting there. 

Now, he's caved. Standing in front of your dorm door. Knocking quietly and praying - despite the fact that Dave York doesn't pray - that you will open the door and talk to him. He's not even seen you around campus and he's worried. Unable to ask anyone who knows you without making it seem suspicious, apparently both of you had been very good at keeping your relationship hidden. 

He shuffles slightly, reaching out and knocking just a bit harder, more insistently. Listening for any sounds of movement from within the small space.

You’re not sure if you want to open the door to slap his face or just smash your lips against his. Why is he here? And what more could he possibly want from me? 

You quietly creep back into bed, pulling the covers all the way over your head and fighting to keep the tears threatening to spill down your face at bay. This week has been filled with tears, anger, upset, reasoning and being unable to hide from the fact that you’re completely and utterly in love with a man who set out to ruin you from the second he saw you. 

And now he’s here, just a few feet away.

He makes himself look like an idiot. Several students study him curiously as he stands outside your door but they don't say anything to him. Still he waits, knowing that if he says anything, you won't open the door for him. 

Finally, another person comes up the call, bag in hand. Hustling with the energy of someone who is trying to get things done, they barely glance at him before they check their phone and look at the number on the door and drop the bag on the handle. Stepping back and taking a picture before turning and walking away at the same impatient pace. 

Of course, Dave is curious. Finding Oreos and Cheetos in the bag, he's miffed you aren't eating properly, but he's happy you are at least eating. Instead of staying, making you open the door to him in order to get your food, he gets the message. You don't want to see him. Sighing softly, Dave puts the bag back on the door handle, a little heavier with his own addition and turns to walk away - kicking himself for being responsible for all of this.

*

You’re not sure how long you stay hidden under your blanket, but the knocking had stopped at least fifteen minutes ago and the chime from the laptop had informed you that your delivery was outside. 

Slowly you sit up, before taking a deep breath and wiping your cheeks with the backs of your hands.

Eventually you take small steps towards your door, peering through the hole and seeing an empty hallway. You open the door and quickly grab the bag hanging from your handle. 

You empty the plastic bag over your bed and raise your eyebrow at a package of sugar cookies that you never ordered, cookies you recognize as being from the grocery store you two would go to out of town. Where he’d hold your hand and insist on paying for whatever ingredients you had loaded into the cart for the meals you’d cook.

You pick up the plastic casing and turn it upright and what you see makes your heart stutter. Your breath hitches and a fresh stream of tears spring to your eyes.

A polaroid clearly taken from his kitchen of the pink velvet swivel chair that you absolutely adored sitting in every time you went to that store. You can feel the plush material on your fingertips now. Two words written in sharpie on the white frame around the photograph ‘Come home.’

Confusion wracks your body, anger slowly joining it, ‘Why is he doing this?’ you murmur, ‘Is this just part of the game he seemingly loves to play?’ 

‘Enough is enough’ you think as you throw the cookies and the photo in your nightstand drawer, you are going to take a shower and you’re going over there to confront him. He will not hurt you anymore.

Dave hates waiting. It’s something he’s always known about himself but he’s learned it’s especially hard now. 

After leaving the cookies and the photo, he had driven home. Changed into comfortable clothes and started waiting. The blinds open and his phone in his hands at all times, he watches for any sign that you are willing to talk to him, to forgive him.

He waits. And waits. The light from the day fades and you don’t come.

*

The last two weeks had been miserable.

You had felt more determined than ever to go and face Dave, ready to listen to what he had to say and go on from there.

You grabbed your toiletries bag, and some fresh clothes and made your way down to the showers. Taking the time to freshen up, and think through what you were going to say to him. You’d grabbed the same yellow sundress from the first time you’d gone to his house, not realizing until you’d put it on. You fixed your hair and made your way back down to your room.

The sight of your door slightly ajar sent a shiver down your spine, you knew you had locked it before heading to the showers. ‘Dave?’ you questioned quietly before taking a deep inhale and pushing it all the way open. 

“Where on earth have you been?” your father bellowed from across your room, “We haven’t heard from you for over a week. You haven’t attended classes… We were worried sick.” You  had remained entirely still throughout his ranting and raving, him refusing to let you have a single word in as he went off at you. 

Your mother sat silently on the end of your bed just shaking her head at you repeatedly, “Your father is right,” she eventually said, “We didn’t raise you to be like this. We spoke to your advisor and he’s agreed to let us take you home for a few weeks, we have something important to discuss with you.”

“No,” you call out, “I’m not going… I can’t. I have things to do. I have class—.”

“You have to do what me and your mother say,” your father says with a scoff, “You have ten minutes to pack.”

Pleading and begging your Mother fell on uncaring ears, she simply walked to your door and waited on the other-side. Listening to you sob as you threw some things in a bag, including the cookies and photo from Dave. 

You decided you would text him that night, and arrange to meet up when you returned home unaware of the news awaiting you. 

*

“You want us to what?” you said in utter disbelief, “I barely know him.” 

A chorus of laughter filled the room as you looked across at the face staring back at you, the grin on his face mocking and slightly bored, “You’ve been in my bible study for six months,” he says nonchalantly, “Our parents agree that we would be perfect together.”

“I-uh, I—.” You attempted to get out a sentence but your father quickly cut you off. 

“To the joining of our families,” he said as the room erupted with cheers, and a ring was hastily shoved down your finger. 

In less than twelve hours you’d gone from being comfortably laid up in your college dorm to being dragged home and engaged to a boy you’d barely spoken ten words to. 

Stories were exchanged about how his parents had met at St Brennans just like yours and now you and Joshua. Tears spilled down your cheeks as they celebrated your impending union whilst acting like you weren’t there. Whilst pretending you weren't silently sobbing at the end of the table, because they were snatching your life from you. 

Over the next two weeks you had been taken for a dress fitting, the dress already chosen and approved by your father, you’d sat sheepishly in a cafe whilst they tested cake samples and your stomach threatened to spill its contents everywhere and you’d been given a date. July 1st.

Despite being an adult and able to make decisions for yourself, your parents had decided you still needed to be punished for disappearing for a week, so they took your phone. Locked it away in your father’s office and refused to give it back to you until the day you were going back to St. Brennans. 

Joshua had informed you that he would be driving you both back with a wink and you wanted to scream.

*

The drive back was as uncomfortable as you expected, Joshua had gotten into the habit of calling you ‘babe’ and it made you cringe internally every time. You couldn’t understand it, he was so comfortable being pushed into a marriage arranged for him, and so receptive to you being his wife without knowing you.

A twang of guilt built up in your stomach as he went on and on about the life he was expecting for you both, clearly excited to follow in his parents footsteps and you hated that you couldn’t relate. 

He thinks you to be this pure and innocent girl, one who lived to serve Christ but the reality simply couldn’t be further away.

*

Dave sighs, not even bothering to pull out his phone and check to see if you have messaged him. You've completely ignored him, refused to answer your door the six times he has gone back to your dorm to talk to you and managed to avoid him on campus. 

He needs to just accept that you want nothing to do with him and move on, but he's finding it hard to do. Which is wild considering he was already planning on how to end things when he met you. Starting a relationship that had a finite expiration date and now he was the one that was hanging on like a pathetic sap. Secretly, he believes he deserves it. 

The knock on his door makes his traitorous heart gallop in his chest, although he knows it won't be you. It will be Deandra. Coming once again to flirty and very obviously try to get closer to him. It's making him extremely uncomfortable. To the point where office hours are now taken with the door open when a student is in his office and there is a camera set on his bookshelf to record the interactions. He doesn't trust her and he doesn't want her to be able to say that something inappropriate happened when it didn't. Ironic considering what he has done in this office.

*

You check your emails the second you arrive in your dorm, plugging your phone into the charger and waiting for it to finally switch on for the first time in weeks.

**RE: Meeting with your faculty supervisor.**

You click the email and see the date and time, and groan out loud seeing you have less than 15 minutes to get to her office on campus. 

You slip on your shoes and grab your key, having no choice but to leave your still dead phone on your nightstand charging. 

The halls are busy, most classes having just ended meaning that the halls are filled with your peers spilling out to make their way to their next classes.

“Oop, sorry,” you yelp as you bump into someone, too busy checking the time on your watch to realize where you were.

Dave reaches out, reflexively taking the errants students' shoulders so they don't fall. His own apology dying on his tongue and all he can do is whisper your name. Shocked that you are here, his heart pounding and his mind racing - wondering why you are here now. He had been trying to get away from his office and now you are running into him.

Your hand instinctively comes up to your chest as you steady yourself, “Hi,” you breath out, unable to ignore the warmth that floods you after seeing him for so long, “I have a meeting with my fac—.” You begin to say, about to ask if he’d meet you for a coffee somewhere or maybe you could go for a drive to talk. And that’s when she bounces out from his office, a smug smile spreading across her cheeks as she sees you.

Dave doesn't even notice that you've stopped talking, that your entire body has stiffened. The sound of his office door closing doesn't meet his ears or register at all. 

You're wearing a ring.

You're wearing an engagement ring. It's not a purity ring. It couldn't be a promise ring. It's a solitaire, a pretty ugly one, if he were to say something. Marquis cut and a tiny chip of a diamond, but it's an engagement ring for certain. 

His heart shatters and it's all he can do not to grab your hand and rip it off your finger. To fling it as far away from you as he can. His vision blurring for a dizzying moment before he blinks and looks up at your face.

“Professor York,” you simply say, voice dripping with venom, “Deandra.” You look at him one more time before pushing past them both and making your way to see your advisor. Feeling the familiar sting of tears welling up in your eyes as you continue onwards.

Shit. Dave's eyes slip closed and he realizes what you thought you just walked into. He shakes his head and calls your name, but you don't turn around. Refusing to acknowledge him. Deandra moves up beside him and huffs, making him turn towards her in annoyance at her ruining seeing you again. 

"What?" He demands, refusing to be nice after she had ruined his one chance to talk to you. Before she had come out of his damn office, you had actually seemed happy to see him. 

"I'm just surprised that she's back." Deandra sniffs, staring after you unhappily. 

"Back?" Did you go somewhere? Did something happen to you? Are you okay? The questions swim in his mind but he doesn't ask them. 

"Yeah, her parents pulled her out for two weeks." She supplies smugly, like there's something wrong with you and she's obviously more superior because her parents haven't pulled her out. Dave wishes they would. "Joshua from the bible study group was bragging that he was getting engaged to her when he went home this weekend."

Dave's jaw clenches, fury flooding his entire body. You were being handled. Forced into a marriage your parents arranged for you to marry a good, 'Godly' boy. Something you had worried about to him while you were in his bed and he assured you wouldn't happen.

*

Your meeting was a disaster, you could barely concentrate as she handed you three weeks of missed assignments, three weeks of homework to catch up and read out a letter from an anonymous member of your bible study group about how disinterested you appeared to be. How your phone would go off and you’d make a lame excuse and practically run out of the building somewhere. 

She gave you some feedback from a few professors who had been pretty complimentary but made the same comments about your head seemingly being elsewhere else. And then she made a standoffish remark about you understanding where they’re coming from. 

You apologized about fifty times before she dismissed you and you carried the stack of paperwork you needed to catch up on. You weren’t to go to class tomorrow she had said but as she wanted you go concentrate on catching up.

The door of your room swings shut behind you as you throw yourself down on your bed, your phone has finally charged enough to switch itself on and you pick it up and start going through your notifications. 

A few missed calls from your parents as expected, some texts from the kids in your bible study group and nothing from Dave. Which should come as no surprise to you seeing as you blocked his number, but still stings.

‘Probably been too busy with Deandra,’ you grit out from behind your teeth.

*

Maybe marrying Joshua won’t be as bad as you think. Yes, you’ll probably end up living the exact same life as your mother, and you’ll never be truly happy. 

But you can’t hurt the way you’re hurting right now, if you never let anyone as close to you as you let Dave you repeat to yourself. 

You look down at the ugly ring on your finger and you sigh.

*

Dave's strides down the hall of the dorm room are filled with anger. Some students recognize him, skittering out of the way. Or maybe they just see an angry older adult and decide to vanish, but he quickly makes his way to your room again. You will talk to him. 

This time he doesn't knock. Grabbing the handle and growling when it turns in his hand. Pushing the door open to your room and stepping inside before practically kicking the door shut behind him. Making you jump out of your skin when he startles you.

You’re in the middle of an essay for your English Literature class, and the door flies open scaring you half to death. Dave strides in the room and lets the door slam behind him. 

“If you’re looking for Deandra, you’re in the wrong building,” you spit at him before he can speak.

He ignores the barb, knowing you won't believe him if he tried to tell you that nothing happened with her. Especially because of your jealousy before. "Is this what you want?" He demands, eyes sparkling with anger. "Really want?"

“What are you talking about?” Completely oblivious to the fact he’s seen your ring.

"Joshua." He spits the boy's name with the same venom that you had said Deandra's. Jealousy drips from his tone but he will freely admit that. He'd confess every sin to you if you would let him. "You're going to marry him?"

You feel your chest constrict as you realize he knows, “How did y—,” you begin to say before stopping, “Why do you even care?”

"Why do I care?" Dave repeats your question and chuckles angrily. "Why do you think I care, little girl?" He demands, stepping closer to you and it's still too far away for his liking. "I waited for you to talk to me, and you- you ran off and let mommy and daddy pair you off."

“Fuck you,” you spit back at him, “Some of us don’t have a fucking choice, Dave. You think I wanted to go with them? Have to sit there and listen as they discussed whether I’d ever been kissed before? Discuss my virtue like it’s the only thing that fucking matters? Have to sob silently at the fucking dinner table as they toast crappy champagne and celebration a union that I don’t fucking want. All whilst the man I lo—,” You shake your head at him again. 

“Clearly you’ve found your next participant, so why don’t you run along and find her.”

"I haven't touched Deandra." Dave hisses, scowling at you and the scene that you've painted of what has happened. It pisses him off and hurts him because he knows you were unhappy because of him. "I'm not going to touch Deandra." Or anyone else. He wants to say but you don't want to hear that. You aren't ready to hear it yet.

“Really?” you scoff, “Not as fun when they’re throwing themselves at you. But I'm guessing that’s technically what I did… Took the other months, didn't it? And it took me days.”

"Shut the fuck up." Dave growls, angry that you would talk down about yourself. He wouldn't let anyone say something like that about you, not even yourself. He shakes his head and glares at you. "Don't talk about yourself like that."

“Why not?” you say with a shrug, “Is that not what you would have written about me when you got bored of me and filled in your little diary of conquests.”

"Fuck this." Dave knows he could get slapped but he doesn't give a fuck. Surging forward, he grabs the back of your neck and crushes his lips to your desperately. Pouring every ounce of frustration and love into the kiss.

You hands float midair as he pulls you into him, his mouth covering yours as he kisses you deeper than ever before, part of you wants to push him off and tell him to fuck himself but a bigger part of you doesn’t, so you don’t, you let him kiss you like he needs it to survive. 

You finally pull away and repeat the six words you’ve said numerous times to your parents and hope that this time they don’t get swept away or completely ignore, “I don’t want to marry him.”

"You're not fucking marrying him." Dave promises you, his hand reaching for yours to pull that piece of shit ring off like he had wanted to earlier. Hating how he has to let you go, but this is important. 

He's gentle with your hand, sliding the ring off so he doesn't hurt your finger but once it's off, it clatters to the floor and he's dragging you back to him.

“You need to explain, Dave,” you say as you place your head on his chest, “You need to tell me why you did it.”

He closes his eyes, knowing that he owes you this. He owes you so much but he at least owes you an explanation. He takes a minute so he doesn’t just kiss you again. "Sit down, baby girl." He urges you softly. "I- I'll tell you everything." His hand slides up and down your back slowly before he lets you go.

You sit down on the bottom of your bed and rest your hands in your lap, “Tell me.”

There's symbolism in the way that Dave kneels down in front of you. Not only so he can look you in the eyes, but he is literally kneeling at your feet. Laying his sins bare in front of the woman he has wronged and hoping that she forgives him.

"You- you were right." He starts off, not willing to insult you by denying it. "I started this out with every intention of taking your innocence. Corrupting you."

Your hands tighten together and he hates the way your breathing hitches. "I- It's a thing- a kink, I guess. Taking someone innocent and pure, virginal and turning them into.....a slut." God, it sounds horrible when he says it out loud.

Dave doesn't touch you, sensing you would recoil if he tried right now. "So when you- when you showed me that you had a crush on me, I chose you." He takes a breath. "But baby, I- I need you to know that it didn't- it changed. It completely changed."

You squeeze your eyes closed, his words making you feel a little dizzy, “When did it change?” you ask, “What makes me any different from those other girls?”

He wants to tell you that it's the night he took your virginity, because that's when it started to shift. At least from what he can pinpoint. But you wouldn't believe that. You would think that he was just trying to say that your pussy was too good or something like that. 

"I don't know." He admits quietly. "I- I never went shopping with them. They never spent the night at my house. They didn't know where I live." He had made sure that there wouldn't be any dramatics brought to his home. "I didn't want them with me all the time. I didn't love them."

“You say that like you loved me,” you whisper back, unsure whether you’re reading between the lines, or if he just admitted to loving you.

"I didn't love you, past tense." Dave whispers just as softly. "I do love you. As in, I haven't stopped." He shakes his head and murmurs your name, "I love you."

“I don’t want to be here,” you admit to him, your hand coming up to touch his cheek, “Take me home, Dave.”

He had thought for a second that you would slap him. He would have deserved it. Your hand on his cheek makes him close his eyes, relaxing for the first time since you had fled his house so many weeks ago. Calling it home makes his heart skip a beat. Nodding, he swallows harshly. "Get your stuff, sweetheart. Whatever you want to bring." He won't assume you want him, he won't assume you are going to his home to sleep with him but he wants you to be comfortable.

You pack a few things, mostly just stuffing them on top of the stuff you already had packed from your trip. Dave picks up the pile of paperwork you need to work on and your laptop, as you bend down and collect the ring he had thrown across the room. Setting it on your desk with a little note simply saying, ‘I’m sorry.’

"Let's go, baby girl." Dave is impatient to get you home. Especially when you told him that Joshua was going to drop by to see how your first day back was when he got done with bible study. He wants to be gone because he will hurt the boy's feelings.

You follow him out the door, pulling it shut but not bothering to lock it. You want Joshua to get his ring back and anything of value is coming with you. You walk side by side with him down the hallway, your shoulder lightly brushing against his as you do so.

"I came by your room a lot." Dave admits as the two of you walk towards the exit. "I- I wrote you an email that night. Never sent it, thinking I would talk to you the next day in class. But-" He doesn't finish the statement, knowing you know what happened. He just wants you to know that he hasn't just forgotten you.

“Can I read it?” you ask as he holds open the door for you, “If you still have it?”

"I do." He follows behind you and looks around to make sure that your fiancé isn't nearby as he guides you towards his car. "It's saved as a draft."

You walk silently to his car, ignoring the confused looks from other students as he carries a stack of your things. He opens the trunk and you carefully place your bags in there and make your way to the front. Sliding in the passenger seat and waiting for him to drive you back to his place.

As soon as he has left the campus, Dave is handing you his phone. "Open the emails and go into the drafts." He has nothing to hide from you and it will allow you to read it while he's driving. More importantly, you would see when it was written.

You don’t want him to see you cry, but with every new sentence your heart aches a little harder, you’re still so unbelievably angry with him and you don’t know how long it’ll take for you to let it all go. “Why didn’t you send it? This was written that day, Dave.”

"Would you have read it?" He asks, looking over at you seriously. "Or believed a word I said?"

“I don’t know,” you admit honestly, “maybe, maybe not.” You look out the window as your complex disappears from sight, and you play with your hands in your lap. A small smile briefly landing on your lips as you get a flashback to the first time in his car. “You bought the swivel chair?”

"Stupid, I know." Dave huffs to himself, wishing that he knew what you were thinking right now. "I just- I needed to imagine you there. It- it didn't feel like home anymore."

“Did spending that much money help?” you say with a small giggle, “It's nice that you were thinking of me.”

"It didn't help, but I was hoping that you would come back and enjoy it." He hums, smiling at the sound of your laugh. He hopes that your good mood will help, since he's not done confessing. "There's something else that I need to tell you." He confesses, looking over you briefly before looking back at the road. "About all of this."

“What is it?,” You say glancing over at him, he’s focusing on the road a little too hard. Almost like he can’t bring himself to look at you.

“You remember all the pictures I took to show you what you looked like?” He asks. Of course you remember. After every filthy, depraved thing that he had done to you, he had shown you how beautiful you looked. Cum coating your face, your tits. The first time he filled your pussy with his ‘seed’. His view when you sat on his face. You bouncing on his cock. All snapped to show you how filthy you were. He loved every single one of them.

“Yes,” you sat quietly, “Why?”

Dave is quiet for a second, the words heavy on his tongue. “I kept them.” He confesses, wanting everything to be in the open. He doesn’t want anything else to pop up and it requires him to come clean.

You nod, not entirely surprised if you’re honest and you lightly tap your fingers against your knees, “Has anyone else seen them?”

"Never." Dave growls out, disgusted with the idea of anyone ever seeing you like that. "I never sent them to anyone or showed them to anyone but you. They were- they are in a password protected file on my phone."

“Okay,” you breathe out, “I- I am not surprised that you kept them. It’s okay. Thank you for telling me.”

He's shocked that you aren't upset. Looking over at you to gauge what you are feeling as he drives gives nothing away. "Do you want me to delete them? I will, I'll let you delete them, go through my phone to make sure I don't have them anywhere else."

“Did you take photos of the others?” you ask, that thought threatening to spill tears from you.

"N-no." Dave shakes his head quickly, unsure if you will believe him. "I never- the first time I took a picture like that was because you wanted to see it and I- it was perfect."

“I remember,” you say, and you believe him. He’d always made it clear that he’d never do anything that wasn’t specifically given the green light and you were confident that he would have had those rules with the others, so you don’t think he’d lie. If he had done so, they would have consented. 

“You don’t have to delete them,” you announce, “As long as they’re safe.” 

"Do you want to see them?" He asks softly. "I'll give you the password. So you can check."

“Yes,” you say, sucking in your cheeks, “I would.”

Dave gives you the password to the file after telling you where to go on his phone. He even gives you the code to unlock it since it's gone dark after you read the email, wanting to show you that he has nothing to hide anymore. The password is your birthday.

A small fleeting smile creeps on your face as he tells you the password. “Mhmm,” you hum, and then you slowly start to scroll the hundreds of photos.

Dave sighs softly at how well you are taking this. Silent as you scroll through the photos that had recorded practically every lewd act the two of you had done together. Most of them were taken in his house, but a few in his office. 

While you had been gone, it had been all he had to keep him sane, another the last two pictures in the album were his favorite. The first was a picture of you sprawled on his chest, fast asleep as you curled into him. The other is when he had to slip out of bed to pee and you stole his pillow to cuddle. Both of them made his heart clench although he hadn't realized why at the time. 

“They are great pictures.” Dave murmurs quietly. 

You hum in response, riding out the rest of the car ride in a comfortable silence.

*

It doesn't take long for Dave to pull into his garage again, happy to be home and he sighs as the garage door closes behind the car. "We're here." Dave murmurs, looking over at you and wondering why you want to be here. You haven't told him anything about what you are feeling or what you want to do beyond wanting to come here.

“We’re here,” you echo as you unbuckle your seatbelt and open the door. You walk around to the trunk and pick up your bags and he grabs your laptop, leaving the stack of papers in his trunk. You wait for him to start walking to the house before following him, unsure what you want to say, unsure what’s about to happen, but feeling glad to be back here.

Once Dave puts everything down on the table, he's running his hands down along his jeans nervously. "Is there anything else you want to know? Questions you have?" He asks softly. He's off balance right now, the dynamic has shifted and right now you have all the power.

“Not right now,” you say. The swivel chair immediately grabs your attention. He had placed it so close to where he marks his papers that he could reach out and touch you without needing to stretch at all. 

“I’m a little hungry,” you admit, still focusing on the chair.

"Food." He can do food. Nodding, he motions towards the chair. "Sit down and I'll make you something to eat, sweetheart." He tells you, turning back towards the fridge and stove. "I'll make you some breakfast." You love eating breakfast anytime of day and it would be easy to throw together.

“That sounds good,” you say, slowly walking towards the chair, brushing your fingertips across the velvet and then slowly lowering yourself down on it. Swiveling it so it’s facing Dave in the kitchen. You sit and watch him cooking, watching the way he’s focused, measuring the ingredients for pancakes so precisely and mouthing the method as he prepares the batter.

You haven't said that you want to be with him and there is a worry that you are stringing him along to make him twist in the wind for awhile before you tell him that he's fucked up too much for you to give him another chance. He tries not to concentrate on that. "Did you- why did you go home?" He asks.

“I didn’t have a choice,” you say honestly, “I was getting ready to come here. My parents had arranged for me to have time off of school. I tried to say no to them.”

Dave shakes his head, annoyed at your parents for meddling in your life. Taking away the minute freedoms you had since attending college. "I'm sorry, baby girl. I know you had to hate that."

“I had this big plan to come here, Dave, I had so much I was going to say to you. To tell you,” you bite down on your lip to suppress a sob, “I was ready to talk to you.”

"You can tell me now." Dave looks up from the pancakes to gaze at you softly. "Everything you wanted to say. I deserve it."

You look up at him and those big puppy dog eyes, “I was going to tell you that I’m more than just a clergyman’s daughter,” you feel the tears you didn’t realize had built up in your ears start to drip down your cheeks, “I was going to yell at you and tell you that I didn’t deserve it. But mostly I just wanted to see if you were truly sorry.”

"You are more than a clergyman's daughter." Dave will admit that easily. "It- there's also a religious aspect to my sexual appetite." He rolls his eyes and gives a slightly self deprecating sigh. "It has to do with that. I deserve to be yelled at. You do deserve better. So much better than me. But baby, I am sorry.

“I know you are,” you reply softly, “I know you’re sorry baby.”

"I- how much of the book did you read?" He asks, wondering what you remember about it.

“Not much,” you shrug, “Figured out pretty quickly what it was. And seeing my name and the amount of days…” You don’t want to finish the sentence, you simply shake your head and shrug again. Blinking away the tears still streaming down your cheeks.

"Are you ashamed?" He asks, knowing that it's a difficult question. "Of sleeping with me?"

“No,” you say as you stand up and take a step towards him, “No. I’m hurt that it happened the way it did, but I'm not ashamed.”

"I meant what I said." He rasps out. "I- it was always your decision. If you had- hadn't wanted to, I wouldn't have-" He shakes his head. "A few days, a few years - you're worth the wait."

“You would have waited a few years?” you say with a raised eyebrow, “Mhm.”

"Before you?" Dave shakes his head, admitting that he wouldn't have waited. He would have moved on. "No, I wouldn't have. But you? Baby girl, you just- you don't understand."

“I do,” you say quietly as you take his face in your hands, “It’s just gonna take a while for things to heal.”

"I know." Dave knows that you don't trust him, you shouldn't trust him. He closes his eyes at the feeling of your hands on him, grounding him and proving that you are real and here. "But you aren't marrying that twerp." He grunts.

“I’m scared,” you admit as you pepper the lightest of kisses on his lips, “I don’t know what’s gonna happen when my parents find out.”

"Fuck them." Dave growls, angry that they would essentially sell their daughter because that's what they were doing. "I won't let them affect you."

“I don’t want to think about it right now,” you mumble, “And I don’t want you to burn my pancakes.”

Dave rolls his eyes and huffs, turning back towards the pancakes to flip them to the other side. "Now who's bossy?" He grumbles.

“I learned from the master,” you say as you take a seat on the counter, “And don’t forget the chocolate chips.”

"The next one will be chocolate chip." Dave promises, moving over to the pantry so he can get the mini chocolate chips to add to the pancakes.

“I’m going to tell my parents tomorrow,” you say as you pop a handful of chocolate chips in your mouth and swallow, “Worst thing they can do is stop paying my tuition and get me kicked out and drag me home right? They can’t force me down the aisle.”

"They can't force you down the aisle if you're already married." Dave murmurs, plating up a pancake and measuring out the batter for the next one. The idea of you marrying that little asshole pisses him off and he won't let that happen. Nor would he let them control your life anymore.

“And who exactly would I be married to?” you ask, not completely believing what you’re hearing.

“Who do you think?” It stings, the knowledge that you had never even given the idea of a future with him. Hypocritical of him, but still.

“I’ve dreamt of it,” you admit, “Those nights when I was snuggled up on your chest listening to you snore. Me and you. Somewhere far from everyone else, a small courthouse. 

“I don’t snore.” Dave lifts a brow at you, smirking slightly when you roll your eyes at him. “Your parents have no control over me. And I don’t give a damn what they will say.”

“Dave,” you snort, “I’m pretty sure there’s a question you’re supposed to ask me, if you’re serious.”

“You want me to ask you now?” He asks, pointing at the pan. “In front of your pancakes?”

“Are you scared I'll say no,” you say before you whisper, “In front of your pancakes?”

“Yes.” Dave concentrates on flipping the pancake a little more than he probably has to. “I’m a lot older than you, I did a lot of things you shouldn’t forgive me for, some would say I groomed you.”

“Mhmm,” you say, “Some would say I waltzed into your bedroom and started to strip in front of you… old man.”

“You did strip in front of me.” Dave can’t help but smirk. “Spread your legs and begged me to fuck you, little girl.”

“I might need a refresher.” You say with a wink, “Hurry up with my pancakes.”

Dave growls and his cock twitches at your playful and bossy command. “So bossy. Going to spank you if you keep it up.”

“I think if anyone deserves a spanking here right now, it’s not me.”

Dave smirks and moves another pancake to the plate. “Are you saying you want to spank me, little girl?”

“If you don’t hurry up with my food, I might have to.” You sit as you reach over and pull the plate towards you.

Chuckling, he shakes his head and turns to get the syrup and the milk out of the fridge. “Eat up, little girl, I’ll make your eggs.”

*

You’re all snuggled up in the swivel chair, watching Dave mark a few papers before you yawn loudly, and he immediately turns to face you.

“Do you- uh, want to sleep?” Dave asks, setting down his pen and deciding that he is done for the night.

“Sleep sounds good,” you say with another little yawn. “You all done?”

“I can be.” Dave stands and starts shuffling the papers, stacking them on his laptop and turning to you. “Let’s go to bed, sweetheart.”

He stretches out his hand for you to grab, and leads you up the stairs to his bedroom.

Dave turns towards you once you are in the bedroom. Earlier, you had brought your stuff up here and he doesn’t know what you’ve done with it, but he doesn’t see your bag. Reaching up, he cups your cheek gently and leans in to kiss your forehead.

“Goodnight, baby girl.” He murmurs softly and steps back so he can go sleep in the spare room. He’s not going to push you and just having you under his roof is enough right now.

“Where are you going?” You ask clearly confused.

Dave frowns and turns back to you. “I- you want me to sleep here with you?” He asks, feeling like it would be the last thing you would want.

A small laugh slips through your lip, “You think I want to sleep in your bed without you?” You shake your head before running your hands over your hair, “Get into bed, York.”

“Shut up.” Dave blows out a huff and reaches back to shut the door to the bedroom. Just a habit of his.

“You shut up,” you counter back as you pull off your sweater, and start unbuttoning your jeans.

He smirks slightly, happy to see your spunk showing and he starts to undress. His eyes are fixed on you though, watching you like it’s the first time he’s ever seen your body.

You look up and see him staring at you, “Dave,” you murmur as you step out of your jeans, “Are you planning on sleeping in your clothes? Because I'd much prefer it if you didn’t.”

“I’ll get undressed.” Dave promises you. “Just admiring the view. I’ve missed it.”

“Yeah?” you ask softly, knowing it drives him crazy when your voice is dripping with innocence.

He groans, knowing you will see that he’s already half hard when he pushes his jeans down. “Yeah.” He rasps out, tossing his shirt aside and reaching for the button of his jeans. “A lot, baby girl.”

“Show me how much, Dave.” You whisper after you take off your bra and start to push your panties down your legs.

“Jesus.” He exhales roughly, his movements speeding up a hell of a lot more now that he has permission to touch you.

You lay down on the bed and slowly spread your legs, watching him palm himself through his boxers, “I want you to taste me.”

“With fucking pleasure.” Dave groans, quick to push down his boxers and he kneels on the bed. “I’ve missed the taste of your sweet pussy, tasting you cum for me.”

“Shut up and do it then,” you order as his hot breath ghosts over your thighs.

“Bossy.” He nips your thigh before he winks at you and lowers his mouth to your cunt.

“Don’t tease,” you beg as he places his mouth on your soft flesh.

He doesn’t. He gives you exactly what you want. Slow, thorough drags of his tongue through your folds so he can make sure he tastes every inch of your cunt.

Within seconds he has you squirming beneath him, lapping at you like a man starved as you moan his name over and over again, “please Dave,” you start to beg, desperate to feel release for the first time in weeks, feeling no shame in how quickly he has you on the edge.

You are still so sweet, so innocent and it makes his cock throb. Your body rocking down for more of his touch along with the breathless moans of his name. Dave dips his tongue inside you before curling up to suck your clit into his mouth. One hand letting go so he can push three fingers inside your tight little hole.

You gasp at the intrusion, the stretch overwhelming and simply incredible all at once. He curls his fingers up inside of you as his tongue teases against your clit, and you cum hard, taking the both of you by surprise.

Dave groans, pressing into you harder as the slick of you cum coats his fingers, wanting to make it so good for you. Absorbing all your sounds and basking in them.

“Dave,” you whine as his tongue refuses to let up, continuing to lick your bundle of nerves, despite your whimpering.

Dave just hums, eyes flickering up to watch you squirm. Your eyes flutter and are not able to stay open as you try to not push him away.

“It’s too much,” you whimper as he doubles down on his efforts, flicking your clit with his tongue and thrusting his fingers in and out of your heat and pulling your second orgasm from you with a smirk across his face,  “No more, I just want you inside of me.”

Dave grunts, unhappy that he can’t pull orgasms out of you until you’re a mess, completely melted into the bed. But he’s also aware of the fact that he’s getting a second chance right now so he lets go of your clit and kisses it, groaning at how slick his fingers squelch when he pulls them out of your pussy and shuffles to kneel between your thighs. “You want me inside you, little girl?” He asks huskily, wrapping his wet hand around his cock and slowly jerking himself.

“I need you inside of me,” you say as you wet your lips, watching him slowly stroke his cock. “I want to feel you deep inside of me.”

“Fuck.” Dave doesn’t tell you the truth. That if he fucks you again, he’s not letting you go. Instead, he nods, shifting so that he is hovering over you and smirking as he slides the head of his cock around your clit, teasing it until you whine before he lines himself up.

“Don’t tease,” you beg, desperate to feel him inside you again for the first time in weeks. “I need you, Dave. I need this.”

“I’ll always give you what you need, baby girl.” He vows, slowly pushing his hips forward and dropping his head down to hang between his shoulder blades as he groans out your name.

The stretch of him always makes you wince, a little jolt of pain that promises so much more pleasure. One of your hands comes up to touch his face gently gripping his jaw as he fills you to the hilt. “Make me feel good,” you whisper as you pull his face down towards yours, needing to feel his lips on top of yours.

It’s the best order that he could ever be given. Normally, he would take it to heart, snapping his hips into you so brutally the bed would hit the wall. This time is different. This time the tempo of your slow, languid kisses is the same tempo of his hips. In no rush for it to end, Dave makes sure you feel every second of his cock dragging through your walls as he pulls back, only to fill you again just as slowly.

His slow pace is almost dizzying, every drag of his cock notches against that little spot of paradise inside of you, and you feel consumed by him in the best kind of way. All of your senses are occupied by him, the taste of his mouth lingers on your tongue, the warm inviting scent that is so uniquely Dave fills your nostrils, the soft grunts he gifts to you with every loving thrust flow into your ears, his eyes bore into yours and you feel his soft touch everywhere. His lips capture yours again and the second they part you’re spilling the words that have lived on your lips for what feels like forever, “I love you, Dave.”

Dave freezes. He knows you love him, he’s seen it, he’s felt it. But this is the first time he’s heard the words out of your mouth, directed towards him. 

He lowers himself to his elbows, pushing his arms under your back and gathering you close as he pushes deep. “Marry me.” He begs against your lips right before he kisses you with enough passion to steal his own breath.

“Yes.” You say against his plush lips, before you feel your walls begin to contract around him, your orgasm plummeting towards you both as he rocks himself in and out of you.

It’s perfect, you’re perfect. For the first time in weeks, Dave feels completely at peace, even as the demands of his body mount. Kissing and praising you softly while you tremble underneath him. Panting into your mouth when you are urging him to cum.

“Fill me up.” You say as you feel his cock start to throb against your walls. In this moment you know that you’re exactly where you’re supposed to be, and despite the fact you have a lot to work through, all you feel right now is safe.

“I love you.” Dave groans out, pushing deep and emptying himself into you, physically and spiritually with the most intense orgasm he’s ever had.

“I love you, too.” You say as you press your lips to his, “I really love you.” He moulds his lips to yours again, whilst wrapping his arms around you, his softening cock still comfortably nestled in your heat as he just holds you. Kissing you with as much passion as he can muster as you run one of hands up and down his spine and gently hold the back of his head with the other.

Dave shifts to his side and then his back, bringing you with him as you both roll over and you sprawl out over the top of him. Like his own personal blanket and he doesn’t want you to move.

You nuzzle your face into his neck as he reaches down to bring the blanket up over you both and you hum a sigh of contentment, “You feel like home, Dave York,” you mumble, voice thick with sleep as you drift off comfortably in his arms.

*

The two of you are tangled together, sleeping peacefully and would have continued to sleep if it weren’t for the sudden and demanding beating on the front door. Making you and Dave both jump and look around for a second before the doorbell starts peeling out incessantly as whoever is at Dave’s door demands to be acknowledged.

“Please don’t tell me you have a secret wife, I don’t know about,” you mumble as you watch him jump out of bed, and then you hear a voice you’d recognise from anywhere.

The banging on the door gets more incessant and your father’s voice bellows out over and over that he knows you’re in there.

“Shit, that’s my parents” you hiss as Dave pulls on his pants, whilst studying your face, “How the fuck did they find me so quickly?”

Dave shakes his head, wondering if they have tracked your phone. He doesn't say it outloud, but he had been tracking you with your permission, but who is to say they didn't do it without you knowing?

"Do you want to stay here?" He asks, knowing he will deny you are here and demand they leave if you want him to.

“Yes,” you answer almost instantly, “I want to stay with you.”

"No baby, I mean do you want to stay up here and I'll get them to leave." Dave clarifies, knowing that you might not be up for a confrontation with your parents.

You nod as the sound of your dad's banging gets louder and louder, “Please.”

Dave nods, leaning down and kisses you quickly before grabbing his jeans and rushing out of the room as he pulls it on. "I'M COMING!" He bellows as he thunders down the stairs and snatches the door open with the angriest scowl he can pull on his face. "What do you want?" He demands harshly, making the man at the door - your father - abruptly step back at his greeting.

“We are here for our daughter,” your dad announces, before straightening his spine and huffing out his chest, “And we aren’t leaving without her.”

"Your daughter?" Dave looks behind him and scoffs. "Don't see anyone but me here." He turns back, his eyes narrowed. "So I suggest you leave."

You hear your father bellow your name again and you sink under the blankets. 

“We have it on good authority that she left with you yesterday,” your dad challenges back, “And we aren’t going anywhere until she’s coming with us.”

"Lower your fucking voice." Dave barks, furious that your father would disturb his neighbors. He shakes his head, knowing that playing dumb won't work, so he switches tactics. "Last time I checked, your daughter is an adult and can go where she pleases, with whom she pleases."

“Our daughter is engag—.” Your dad begins to yell as Dave takes a step towards him. Seizing her opportunity, your mother immediately pushes her way through the small gap Dave leaves in the door. 

She screams your name, the shrillness of her voice sending a shiver throughout your body, “Get downstairs now, do not make me come up there.” 

You groan as you kick the blanket off of you and roll out of bed. Bending down and grabbing Dave’s shirt from yesterday. You hear Dave yell as your father barges his way into his house, and starts bellowing your name. Slipping on his shirt, you slowly make your way down the hall and to the top of the stairs.

Dave huffs, pushing past the older couple to stand at the bottom of the stairs. A silent sentinel between you and your parents. He can see the abject horror on your parents faces and doesn't give a shit as long as you are okay. "You need to leave." He demands again, crossing his arms over his chest.

The sound of your fathers disgust hits your ears like a tonne of bricks falling right in front of you, “You need to leave,” you echo, “Dave’s right.”

"Dave?" Your mother's voice cut through the air like a knife. "Your professor? You call him Dave? You're sleeping with him!" Her face is a mixture of horror and shame, looking at you like you have killed her.

You make your way down the stairs and stand next to Dave, “I am an adult,” you say, your voice shaky as not sounding anywhere as brave as you’re willing it to, “And I want you to leave.”

“You’re a whore,” your father immediately counters back, “Dressed in his clothes… Sleeping in his bed.”

His words feel like a bucket of ice water being dumped on your head, and you look over at Dave, his face contorted in anger and his hands balling up in fists.

You reach over and grab one of his hands, “Get out of our house.”

You are the only thing holding him back from tossing both of your parents out of his house on their asses. He knows you love them still, despite trying to control your life. "We are going to the school." Your father hisses, righteous indignation pouring off of him in stinking waves. 

Dave barks a laugh and shakes his head, smirking angrily at the other man. "No you won't." He sneers. "To tell them that two consenting adults are sleeping together?" He asks, aware that you could possibly be tossed out for violating the morality oaths the school has. Firing him would be more difficult since he has tenure, but not impossible. Still, your parents won't risk others finding out. Their pride was more important than their daughter. 

"You would have to tell them that your daughter isn't pure. That you failed as a Godly example. People would find out, people always talk. Wonder what kind of house you ran." He taunts, moving his hand from under yours and he wraps it around your waist, pulling you against him protectively. "And you will not talk to her again until you apologize for calling her a whore."

Your mother takes a step towards you and shakes her head, “Go upstairs, get dressed and get in the car,” she orders, ignoring Dave and narrowing her eyes on you, “We can tell Joshua and his family that we found you in a hotel, and this little mistake—.”

“No,” you yell back at her, “You can call me a whore. You can get me kicked out of the college I didn’t want to go to in the first place, but you will not call my fiancé a mistake. The only mistake I’ve made was not sticking up to you both sooner. So leave. Go back home and go tell everyone that your perfect little daughter is nothing but a filthy little whore.”

"Fiancé." Your father bellows in anger, puffing up again. "Your fiancé is the boy we picked for you. Not this, this - man!" He scoffs. "He doesn't want you. He wanted to taint you, to get you to sin. Spoil you for your husband. The girl told us about him."

“The girl? What girl?” you ask, “What are you talking about? And again. I am an adult. I don’t need you to pick a boy for me.”

"You are our daughter!" Your mother shrieks, spit flying from her mouth as she screams at you. "We decide what is best for you, you disobedient child!"

"The girl. The one that said she was in Bible study with you." Your father answers, ignoring his wife's outburst.

“Deandra?” You say with a laugh, “The girl that’s been trying to fuck Dave since the first day of class?”

You turn to face you Mom and shake your head, “Yes your daughter, but not your goddamn property. Just leave. Now. I’m not going with you. I’m not marrying Joshua and I’m not spending the rest of my life too scared to speak up anymore.”

Dave is proud of you, immensely proud of you for standing up for yourself. Looking over at you with a smile and nod of encouragement before he looks back at your parents. "You can leave now and we will talk later on when you've calmed down. Or I will call the police and have you arrested." He tells them, his tone flat and serious. "Your choice."

“If you don’t come with us now,” your father says after pulling your mother back to his side, “You will never be welcome in our home again.”

Dave squeezes your hand and you can sense he’s about to snap but before he has a chance you give your dad a little shrug, “I was never really welcome in the first place.”

“You truly are a disappointment,” your father says as he grabs your mom's hand and leads her towards the door, “When he wakes up bored of you and you have nothing and nowhere to go, don’t come running back to us.”

“Jesus.” Dave strides to the door, making sure that your parents are barely on the other side before he slams it and locks it. Turning back to you with a look of compassion and sympathy as you stand there on the last step of the staircase, looking lost. “I’m so sorry, baby girl.” He murmurs, rushing back over to you to pull you into his arms.

The tears that you expect you start welling up in your eyes, don’t come, instead a wave of relief floods through as you nuzzle your face in his neck, “I love you, Dave.“

“I love you.” He wants to assure you that none of what your parents said will come true. To tell you that you have nothing to worry about, but he will do that later. Right now, he just holds you. Needing you close and letting the relief of you staying with him course through his veins. There had been a moment where he thought you would give into them.

You rest your forehead against his relishing in the feeling of his arms wrapped around you, before whispering “Chocolate chip pancakes?”

He chuckles softly, knowing that you need something comforting right now and he will give you whatever you want. “Pancakes sound perfect, sweetheart.” He kisses your forehead and pulls back to look into your eyes. “Extra chocolate chips.”

[Five Years Later]

The sound of your twin daughters giggling happily fills the air as Dave dumps another bucket of sand in front of them, whilst insisting that he’s going to build them a castle fitting for his little princesses. 

A smile spreads across your face as you finally feel ready to reply to the email that has been sitting unanswered in your inbox for days. 

You rest your free hand on your growing bump and the sun immediately reflects off the gorgeous ring on your finger. You open the camera app and snap a photo of the bump housing your unborn son, your ring, the back of your girls heads and a gleaming Dave staring up at you with the most loving smile splashed across his face. 

You attach the photo and simply type back,

Hello, 

I have all the family I could ever need right here with me, so no, no you can’t meet my children. 

I couldn’t protect myself from you both for so many years, but I will make sure I keep them safe from the hatred you spew under the guise of religion.

Despite everything, I wish you both well. 

Goodbye.

*

Looking up at you, Dave is once again struck by how serene you look. Perched on a lounger with your toes in the sand with the umbrella overhead, you are basking in the warm sun without being overheated whilst looking like an angel in your white bikini. His son on display underneath your breasts. 

Five years since that horrible night where your parents disowned you and left you with Dave, he hopes you’ve never regretted a day of it. 

Marrying quietly at the courthouse, the two of you had very deliberately started your life together. Dave taking another position at a different college, one that didn’t hold bitter memories for you. Your own education now firmly in your hands and he had meant what he said when you would do what you wanted. 

The girls were born three years ago, his princesses, and he adored coming home to you and them every night. Now, the next one - your prince -  is on the way to complete your little family.

Dave has everything he’s ever wanted. Almost. He sends you a small, dirty wink before turning his attention back to the girls. Later tonight, he’ll corrupt you just a little bit more.

[greyfection-au-asks]

// QUICK NOTE! I will make a seperate document post for the Hyper Infection, which will be written (If I can remember to) a little differently as instead of DrRETRO's writing, it's Prototype's! //

[ As you dug through the desk, covered with yellow fur, you located several papers, documenting the current infection running around uncontrolled. ]

[ DOCUMENT : 1 ] - STAGES 1, 2 -

|| Notes.

STAGE 1

: Patches of grey appear to be covering the body from all over, in some cases, it's coming out of the mouth. I took note that one girl, a camp counselor I believe, was found to have the infection on her arm and nowhere else. Strange, I could not get her to understand the anomaly. : Undergoing STAGE 1 shows a constant drooling if fed the source directly. : Spreadable through physical contact, that must be what happened to the counselor, marked as the first case of the infection being spread in other ways. : Liquids exiting the mouth appear to be either drool, darkened by the source, or residue from vomiting. : Noticeable laziness and lack of key points to reaction in general.

[SIDE/NOTE : I had to lock up Enphoso as he was infected, as well I can use him to my advantage as long as MR does not locate him here.]

STAGE 2

: Strange anomalies have been noted in these stages, tails, spikes, or fur appear on the body. Most common anomaly is the fur. Most have been noted to lack certain anomalies, such as the tails and/or spikes. : A loss of control is easily noticeable by the mouth, it is split by the infection, part of it does not move, but the infected side does. : Sharpening of fingertips or nails occur, claws on the feet may occur as well, only noted as an anomaly for certain cases. : Loss of color on the normal side as the infection continues to slowly take over. : No cure located for pausing the infection yet. : Aggression is noticeable, take note that an infected may pretend that it is a costume. Others will not hesitate to charge and attack to spread the infection. : Infected facial features appear to glow in certain cases.

[SIDE/NOTE : As of now, Enphoso has received a glowing yellow eye.]

[ DOCUMENT : 2 ] - STAGES 3, 4 -

|| Notes

STAGE 3

: Completely grey, looks similarly match Wallter's color scheme, though all remain the same color. : Personalities are completely changes, some currently still have conscience in this stage, most do not. : Fur anomaly, which some are not seen to have, covers the body in mostly connection pieces, such as shoulders, elbows, knees, waist, etc. : Almost always smiling. : Glowing eyes noticeably become red, the reason behind this is currently unknown, I am continuing my studies to try and find the reason why.

STAGE 4

: As of right now, I have not witnessed anyone in this stage yet.

[SIDE/NOTE : I am unsure if this stage exists, but I have noticed cracks forming around Enphoso's eyes, could this infection also include the [ECCLES SYNDROME]? I hope not, it shouldn't at least, no notable signs of the [ECCLES SYNDROME] have been shown except for the darkening of the skin, or... More so, the skin becoming grey.] [This may be the only known information I have on this stage.]

Hopefully I can find a cure soon enough... --DrRETRO

// And here's the reference sheet for the beginning of the infection, I might do the Hyper-Infection reference sheet when I get my new phone, as my current one has broken down fully. // // But until then, this is be the official reference sheet for the first part of the Greyfection! ^^ //

[katasstrophy]

this is my official public statement that i will never, not even on my deathbed, nor a hundred thousand bajillion years later when i’ll merely be a squiggly skeleton in my cozy little coffin, or for that matter under any other circumstance, really, will I EVER forgive mr best football player in japan, boy prodigy Itoshi FUCKING Sae for what he did and/or said to Rin in chapter 148.

that being said, bllk manga spoilers under the cut !

Just,,, just fucking LOOK at these panels

it’s already very much apparent from his posture and gritted teeth that Rin is devastated by the outcome against the U-20 team. Okay, devastated might be a strong word here but he’s definitely unhappy about it—and Blue Lock won. Rin won—or, well, in his eyes, did he?

the first thing that’s reflected in Rin’s eyes is Aiku’s handshake with Isagi after the game ended with Isagi’s winning goal. By congratulating him and admitting their loss, Aiku is acknowledging Isagi—his talent as well as the threat he poses. Which is all fine and dandy, go off Isagi good for you buddy honestly BUT!! Rin has done the exact same thing in the first half. He was the first Blue Locker who could stand toe to toe with Aiku, outsmart him, and score a goal against him—an important one, too! Yet he’s not even getting half the recognition Isagi is.

And the sad part about it is that it makes perfect sense. Of fucking course Aiku’s not gonna saunter over to shake Rin’s hand while the game is still undecided—he full on believed his team was going to emerge victorious, why go on congratulating losers? (I know Rin wouldn’t have accepted Aiku’s handshake anyway lmao that fucking gremlin but that’s NOT THE POINT HERE!!!)

The point is what comes after.

Rin’s not one to go fishing for praise. He was Blue Lock’s first ranked player after the 3rd selection; he’s very much aware of his own abilities. And he has been acknowledged multiple times before by others, which he proceeded to completely brush off because, wait for it, he thinks they’re not on par with his level. Why would he need acknowledgement from lukewarm players?

Rin thinks NO ONE’s better than him at football, EXCEPT for his older brother, Sae.

Which is what makes Sae saying Isagi’s the first good striker he’s seen Japan produce—the striker who will forever change the Japanese football scene—even more heartbreaking.

Like I can’t take this pls do you SEE his face ??

This is right before Sae HIGH KEY implies that he’s finally about to acknowledge his little brother’s talents. There’s so much hope in Rin’s expression he almost looks like a kid again. There’s an honest to god little blush on his cheeks. There are fucking SPARKLES (!!!) in his eyes like EXCUUUSSEEE MEEE

even though there’s a shit ton of resentment between them, Rin really just wants to be good enough to play football with his bro again. He wants Sae to be like “yupp my bad you are a good striker”

god i cannot wait to find out what happened to sae in spain to make him such a piss baby

BUT INSTEAD we get Sae acknowledging Isagi—which fine, whatever, it’s a trend in the Blue Lock universe who am i to judge EXCEPT !!!! The whole ass reason Isagi could “incorporate luck into his play” is because he full on believed with his chest that Rin would steal the ball from Sae. WHICH HE DAMN WELL FUCKING DID

Sae sure as hell thought that was NOT gonna happen. Not even a possibility in his careful little calculations. I mean come on—

The man was too stunned to speak !!! Bitch got his ass thoroughly kicked !!!

Basically:

Couldn’t have said it better myself king

and yet. AND YET

like literally what was the reason. Why go on and declare that you acknowledge Isagi, but not Rin? I know there was a fat chance of it happening anyway—but then why not just stay silent? Sae is also pretty much aware of his brother’s abilities (besides that surprise one-up). He knows Rin’s smart enough to eventually figure out what his flow state reveals about himself—reveal what he’s missing. So why? Why declare it to Rin’s face?

Why do this to him?

At this point, there’s no more room in Rin for devastation and feeling like a disappointment. That’s all he’s been feeling for the past years. He’s done. All that’s left after this is bone deep hatred.

Unless I’m colossally missing smth, or this action will be redeemed in the next 200 chapters, Sae’s just cruel here. The only outcome I can discern from this is that now Rin’s and Isagi’s rivalry isn’t one-sided, but I genuinely fucking believe that would have been achieved regardless of Sae’s bullshittery.

SO IN CONCLUSION:

thank you for coming to my ted talk.

also @ugh-tsumu i hope you don’t mind i used your itoshi rin supremacy meme. it is spectacular <3 the other one is made by me lmaooo ART i tell you