#and i REALLY dont wanna make a d○n○ post

[starlos-soulmate]

I don't have the time nor money to start an etsy (or something similar) shop just yet. And idk if anyone would buy either. So that doubly sucks

[cathalbravecog]

the guzma urge to draw archie to half the plastic beach songs.......................

[nezumiicraft]

how it feels to experiment and like what happens even though its wayyy diffrent then what i was trying to do and then everybody else likes it to

me when im in the soft

[mistiell]

Oh, Your Love is Sunlight

summary: While on a supply run with your (insanely attractive) neighbor and friend, Joel, you nearly die twice. Once to an infect, and second to hypothermia, when you fall through the ice while trying to take a short cut home to Jackson. Joel spends the night trying to warm you up and keep you alive, and the morning after, you both come to a realization.

wc: 8k (Yikes, sorry y’all)

warnings: VOMIT (For my fellow emetephobics, I put ** at the start and end of the part), Fem! Reader, canon typical violence, graphic description of killing an infected, hypothermia, near death experiences, body heat as a survival tactic, like brief indirect mention of Star Wars that might be inaccurate bc I’ve never seen it (DONT COME FOR ME, I JUST HAVENT GOTTEN AROUND TO IT), Worried and protective Joel, very very briefmention of original characters towards the end bc i needed people and didnt feel like searching the wiki, slightly jealous Joel but it passes quickly. if i missed anything lmk. NOT PROOFREAD (will likely come back to fix any mistakes later)

a/n: Hello i have returned with a fic i started last year and just finished (oops lol), and it is my longest fic to date so enjoy! This will likely have a smutty part 2 if i ever get around to it.

**NOTE: I've linked ways to help Palestine here. If you're in a position to donate anything at all, please do! If not, you can reblog the post that's linked so it gets out to more people.

---

You don’t hate Joel Miller, but you really hate him right now.

Tommy was supposed to do this run with him – something about guitar strings for Ellie that they couldn’t get awhile ago – but something had come up. Joel had come to you to ask if you’d go with him instead, and your will to please him overrode your vehement dislike of sub-zero temperatures. It’s become apparent in recent months that you just can’t say no to the man; a flaw that you are actively going to work on fixing when you get back, you decide as you trudge through what has to be double digit inches worth of snow.

“Remind me why we couldn’t have ridden the rest of the way?” You huff, lifting and heaving your heavy winter boot yet another step after him. You really wish it were safe to wear snowshoes out here. It would make travelling through this shit so much easier. Alas, while it’s great for travelling faster over snow, the same can’t be said for escaping any infected you may have the misfortune of running into out here.

He sighs, but reminds you again for the third time in thirty minutes, “Horses can’t make it through this way in the winter.”

“Couldn’t we have found a way around?”

Bemused, he shoots you a sidelong glance, “Unless you wanna walk home in the dark, no. Sun’s already too low for my likin’.”

“It’s barely afternoon, Joel.”

“Might be past that by the time we head back.”

“Might be isn’t will be.”

Shaking his head, he breathes an exasperated chuckle. You’d think he was genuinely annoyed if this wasn’t your routine. You try to vex him, he pretends it’s working. He looks fond as he shakes his head, “D’ you gotta be so goddamn argumentative all the time?”

“‘Course.” You grin puckishly, “Part of my charm.”

He snorts, lifting a tree branch and letting you duck under his arm, a little bit of snow flaking off the nettles and dusting your hair and eyelashes, “Charm ain’t exactly the word I’d use.”

“Yeah? What word would you use, then?” You ask, turning to look at him just as he ducks under the branch after you. As he straightens, you realize you’re so close, you have to tilt your head back a little to look at him.

It’s only when you’re this close to him that you’re reminded of just how broad he is. Broad shoulders, broader chest. One of his hands could encompass nearly a whole half of your face, you’re sure. Leaving the two of you in spouts of steam, you watch your breaths mingle and dance in the space between you. Humming a low rumble, his mouth twists and eyes narrow as he pretends to think, and you almost forget what you’ve asked until he replies, “Annoyance.”

Moment lost. You roll your eyes. “Aren’t you sweet.”

He chuckles, the sound rich in his chest as he continues on and prompts you to do the same. As you emerge from the treeline, you spot your destination a ways away. A small, rundown town centre. You can just barely see a sign with a treble clef peaking out from behind the large building blocking your view.

“You’re sure this area’s clear, right?” His silence unnerves you. “Right?”

“Should be.” His brow creases. He looks about as reluctant to be doing this as you are, but Ellie needs new strings and he’ll be damned if he doesn’t get them before her birthday. The things you do for those you love, you suppose, “Keep a look out, just in case.”

“Yup.” You sigh, popping the ‘P’.

The town is a frigid wasteland when you make it onto the main street, storefront windows smashed to bits with snow drifts sloping up the walls and creeping inside, blowing snow whooshing up in swirls like mini tornados across the open spaces. The hairs on the back of your neck stand on end as you traverse the street, nerves buzzing with the anticipation of danger that is ever present out here.

More walking, before glass crackles underfoot as you step through the mangled metal frame of the music store’s front door, careful to avoid the jagged pieces still jutting out of the rust-flaked steel. The two of you split up to look around, Joel making his way over to a wall that houses a couple of fair quality acoustic guitars while you survey a few shelves lined with CD’s and tapes on the other side of the room.

“Y’know guitar strings ain’t gonna be over there, right?” He calls, and you roll your eyes.

“Obviously. I figured I’d try to find something for her, too.” An album cover catches your eye and you slide it out, tilting your head uncertainly. It looks old, but you recognize some of the songs off the list on the back, “You think she’d like ‘Heart’?”

“What, the band?” You call back in confirmation, and he hums out a breath in thought as he picks over his side of the store, “I reckon she might.”

“‘Heart’ it is, then.” You murmur to yourself, slinging your pack from your shoulders and kneeling to unzip the main pocket.

Something clatters somewhere ahead of you, and you freeze, head snapping up in the direction of another door, wooden this time. You watch and wait, unblinking, palming the hilt of your pistol. Quads, hamstrings, calves wound tight and poised to move quickly, you rise slow into a half crouch, holding your breath. Something bumps again, chittering, hard enough this time that the door shudders in the corroded frame.

“Joel-!”

The door flings open and hits the adjacent wall with a BANG!, and with a guttural, inhumane cry, something flings its body at you chest first, knocking you off your feet. Your shoulders slam into the tiled floor with a hollow thud, knocking the air from your lungs and taking your ability to scream with it. You flail, forearm pressed hard against the infected’s fleshy throat as you fight wildly while trying desperately to breath, scream, something.

A large hunk of Cordyceps encompasses a quarter of it’s face, rubbery ridges stretching several inches from the surface of its skin. One wild, bloodshot eye meets yours, pupil blown and lids split so wide with hunger you can see where the yellowed white begins to curve into its skull. Your heart thrums painfully in your throat as you realize you’ve nothing to do but stare back and pray Joel gets the hell over here before the thing tears into you. Its teeth gnash, still shrieking, mouth opening so wide you can see the mottled grey of its rotting tonsils behind flashes of bloodied incisors. Its rancid breath has your stomach churning.

A strong arm wraps around its neck from behind, and then it’s off you, and you’re staring wide eyed at the ceiling listening to the cracking of bone, a far off, dying keen. The wet squelch of brain matter and rotten cerebrospinal fluid spilling out of its skull and likely splattering over the wall is muffled but just as terribly, egregiously sickening. Its only once you’re pulled up by the shoulders and spots dance across your vision that you realize that you’ve still yet to take a proper breath.

Joel takes your face between large palms, lips moving with no sound beyond the ringing in your ears. You watch his mouth wrap around your name, then the words ‘Breathe’and ‘Please’ several times over as he pats feeling into your cheeks. Over his shoulder, the thing lays motionless, its head so mangled, its just a wet mess of reds and greys and sharp fragments of bone. Your stomach rolls. **You twist out of his hold just as it contracts and spills its contents over the grimy floor, black pressing into your peripherals until you finally shut your eyes, retching. A hand smooths over your shoulder blades while the other collects any loose strands of hair and holds them back behind your nape. **

Its easier to breathe by the time you’re done, and you can finally hear his voice again, low and soft as he soothes, “S’ alright, you’re okay.”

“Oh, fuck.” You rasp, throat burning something awful as you spit the acrid taste from your mouth

“I know, I know.” He turns you to him by your shoulders as soon as you’re done and looks you over, gaze frantically jumping between your face, neck, shoulders, arms. “Did it get you?”

You blink dumbly at him.

“What?” Your mind is still catching up to the present moment, and it takes too long for you to process what he’s asked.

“Were you bit?” His voice is high, shaking and scared, his hands on your shoulders like vice grips.

“N-No.” You force out just so he’ll calm down. You’re not actually sure yet, adrenaline still prickling in your extremities, so really, you could be. Its just that seeing him so genuinely panicked is more than a little disconcerting. His hold on your shoulders starts to ache, and you squirm, “Joel, you’re hurting me.”

He lets go like he’s been burned before gently pushing your jacket and shirt collar to your right, then left as you slide your sleeves up a little to check your wrists. No bites, no scratches. You both breathe sighs of relief.

“You get the strings?” You rasp, and he looks at you incredulously.

“You almost died n’ you’re worried ‘bout the guitar strings?” You shrug, and he breathes a laugh, beard scratching under the pads of his fingertips as he rubs at his mouth, “Christ, you are gonna be the death of me.”

“Did you?”

“Yeah, I got the damn strings.” With a quiet grunt, he rises, holds out a hand, “Let’s get the hell outta here.”

“Don’t have to tell me twice.” Clapping your hand into his, you let him hoist you to your feet.

---

Walking, freezing, joints aching, the sun looms low in the sky, stealing away with it slowly the light of day. Joel holds up two fingers to the horizon and scowls. You sigh, trek onwards, a shiver jittering down your spine and making your teeth chatter briefly, causing you to accidentally nip the tip of your tooth paste coated finger as you attempt to rid your mouth of the remnants of your earlier close call.

“You alright?” He asks for what has to be the thirtieth time as you spit into the snow and wipe your mouth with your sleeve.

For the thirtieth time, despite feeling a little gross, you answer, “Fine.”

“Y’sure?” He rubs a gloved hand roughly along the length of your shoulders, warming the nape of your neck even through layers. “You’re shiverin’.”

You want to curl into his side. Slide under his arm, wrap yours round his back and squeeze so close you’d have to mirror his gait so you don’t trip over his ankle. You shake your head minutely. The cold is weakening your resolve.

“I’m okay. Just wanna get home.” You try to sound normal, like his touch isn’t setting you on fire.

He gives you a soft squeeze and retracts his arm. You mourn the loss swiftly and silently, “You n’ me both.”

The shadows around lengthen considerably as you keep going. Glancing up at the sky, the sun has dipped lower, turning the sky a dusted pink. You scowl at the realization that he was right. At this rate, you won’t make it back to Jackson before dark.

“We’re not makin’ good time.” He articulates your thought with a sigh, brow creased.

“We could pass over the lake?”

He hesitates, then makes a face like he’s smelled something rotten, “S’ not a good idea.”

“It’s been frozen over since November.” You argue. It’s nearly March now, but the snow is still crisp under your boots and the wind is cold enough that your cheeks and nose are numb. It’s the quickest way back, you know he knows that.

There’s a pause as he contemplates whether or not it’s worth the risk. There are about a hundred things that could go wrong, and you watch him mull over them all in the minute it takes for him to finally reply, “Fine. But if you fall in, you’re gettin’ yourself out.”

There’s no truth to it. He might scold you, but he’d do it while breathing life back into you, cursing you between each exhale. Your breath comes out in puffs of fog as you chuckle, “Deal.”

By the time you reach the crossing, the sky has taken on a lovely lavender hue that serves as a less lovely reminder that you’re quickly running out of daylight. Joel hums doubtfully as he eyes the ice, sizing up the distance between the two of you and the bank on the other side.

The lake isn’t very large to begin with, and the path crosses a narrow strip where the water tapers in like the neck of an hourglass. It’ll take you fifteen minutes or so to get all the way over to the other side. In the height of winter, you can even get the horses safely across. But while it’s still well below freezing, and the ice looks thick enough to jump on from here, it could be weaker further out.

Hands in his pockets, Joel frowns, “I really don’t know about this.”

“It’s fine.” Emboldened by thoughts of your warm bed and a steaming cup of tea waiting for you on the other side, you step onto the ice and turn back to him, “See?”

“Mm-hm.” He hums, displeased as he follows after you carefully.

Ten minutes of walking and you’re already a little ways passed the halfway mark. Joel’s had his eyes on the dark abyss beneath you nearly the entire time. “If you keep looking down like that, you might fall.”

“N’ if I don’t, both of us might fall.” His use of ‘fall’ means something different to yours. Humming, you turn your gaze forward again.

“We’re close, now. The ice is stronger closer to the edges, right?” You already know the answer. There’s no point in asking, but you do anyway just so he’ll talk.

“Mm.” He grumbles. That stubborn crease between his brows has deepened, you find when you glance sidelong at him.

“Exactly. We’re fi-.” An ear splitting crack bounces off the ice, to the trees, and back again in a terrible echo as the ice splinters beneath you. You nearly slip in your haste to stop. The both of you go stiff as statues. You’re petrified. Joel looks doubly so.

“Joel.” You whisper, as if your voice weighs enough to be the extra bit that sends you plunging into the icy depths below. The chalky cracks are in stark contrast to the dark backdrop of the water beneath. Just how deep must it be for you to be unable to make out anything below you?

You feel like you might be sick.

“Hey. Look at me.” Tears hot with panic well in your eyes as you do as he says, and the look on his face makes it worse. You know that look. He thinks might lose you, and he’s decided he won’t let it happen. His breath trembles, but his voice doesn’t waver, “S’ gonna be alright, yeah?”

You manage a nod, and only then does he look down, then left, scouring the ice and treeline barely fifteen feet away. Back to you, and you both realize he’s to far to reach you. Second time you’ve almost died today, and this time he can’t come to your rescue.

“M-Maybe I can...” You bend your knees a little as if to move and he throws a hand out.

“Don’t-!”

The ice gives, and the fear takes up so much space you’ve barely room to take a breath before you’re engulfed in painful cold. It bites at your face as you attempt to swim up. The water muffles everything but the sound of your heartbeat as you fight against the weight of your clothes and backpack. You make the mistake of opening your eyes and find yourself swimming up, up, up through far too much nothing. It hurts to kick your legs hard enough to propel yourself, and it takes what feels like forever for you to breach the surface. You take in a heaving lungful of air as Joel calls your name.

He’s on his belly, body parallel to the edge and arm outstretched, but not close enough for you to grab just yet, “Don’t pull yourself up. Just- Just get your arms on the ice n’ kick your legs a little, alright? Can you do that?”

“Uh-huh.” It comes out jittery, jaw vibrating, teeth clacking together painfully as you hook your arm clumsily up over the lip and do as he says. The lower half of your body gradually rises until you’re level with the ice, and it’s then that he beckons you closer.

“Now scooch forward.”

You kick your legs harder and carefully pull yourself toward him until your chest is out of the water, then your torso. The ice dips a bit as you reach for his outstretched hand, and as soon as he’s got yours, he pulls hard enough to get you the rest of the way out, nearly wrenching your shoulder out of the socket. The moment you’re close enough, he wraps his arms tight around you and rolls you both away from the hole in the ice.

Panting, trembling, he keeps you there in his arms moments longer than he probably should.

“Don’t you ever do shit like that again.” His voice breaks on ‘ever’. “Gonna give me a fuckin’ heart attack. Too old for this shit.”

“I didn’t fuckin’ do it on pu-purpose.” You slur with lips too stiff to fit around the words right. Even your tongue feels frozen, but you think that’s probably more from the shock, “Thought y’said I’d have’ta get myself out.”

He huffs a short laugh, incredulous and utterly relieved. “Had a change a’ heart.”

“C’mon.” Carefully, he shifts onto knees before standing. He doesn’t let go of you once as he helps you to your feet, “Gotta get you warmed up ‘fore you freeze.”

He says it like there’s somewhere warm waiting for you just beyond the ice. You’re too tired to be outwardly pessimistic. “Yeah.”

You should be anxious as he shuffles the two of you to shore as quickly as is safe. When you make it there, he stops you only to peel off your mitts and scarf before ushering you forward. It’s freezing, you’re soaked. It’s a recipe for a very miserable death, you think dismally. But you trust Joel, and the tight grip he has on you makes you relax, even when you’re toeing a very fine line between life and death. You know he won’t give up on you easily. If you started spontaneously disintegrating tomorrow, he’d carve out pieces of himself just to keep you whole. There is no way in hell he’ll let a little cold take you from him.

“Y’see that?” You lift your head sluggishly to see a small opening tucked into the drop off of a very large, rocky hill. “Just gotta make it there, alright?”

You try for an ‘okay’ but all that comes out is a small hum as you slump further against him. Maybe you’ve relaxed too much, “M’ tired.”

“I know, darlin’, I know.” The pet name sparks something in you, and you try to foster it, let it liven you up a little. Darlin’ Darlin’ Darlin’ like a mantra over and over in your head. He squeezes your arm roughly, and you peel your eyes open as he pleads, “Just a little further n’ you can sit down, okay? Promise.”

Sit down, not sleep. You know you can’t sleep until you’re not at risk of freezing to death anymore. By the time you reach your destination, you can barely feel your fingers and toes.

Joel has to duck to get the two of you out of the cold and into the cave, but he manages. It’s warmer in here, you think. Although maybe its not warmth, but just the absence of the wind nipping at your skin. You’re a little alarmed that you can’t tell the difference.

Sliding down the wall to sit clumsily, you watch him as he slings both his and your packs from his shoulders. You vaguely wonder when he’d managed to take yours. The zipper clinks sharply as he sets it down and reminds you suddenly.

“The CD.”

He frowns, “Huh?”

“Ellie’s birthday gift.” You clarify through the haze rolling over your brain. “The ‘Heart’ CD. I left it.”

He blows a short huff out his nose as he reaches into his back pocket, sliding said object from the denim and giving it a waggle.

“Oh.”

Breathing a very small laugh, he shakes his head, “You’re welcome.”

Theres a short lull, although it feels like longer. He looks you over, jaw working before, “You’re gonna have to strip.”

You blink owlishly, “Huh?”

Cheeks and neck flushing a lovely rose, he clears his throat, “Your clothes are soaked. You’ll freeze if you keep ‘em on.”

“Oh.” That checks. You’re sure your face would be on fire if your blood wasn’t slush in your veins, “Right.”

Tentatively, you attempt to peel your jacket off while he unrolls his sleeping bag, but your arms won’t cooperate with you. They’re slow and hard to maneuver. It feels more like operating two arcade crane machines simultaneously, and you huff after failing to get the cuff of your sleeve unstuck from your wrist.

“Here.” He sighs, kneeling in front of you to tug it the rest of the way off and toss it aside. It’s stiff as it lands, mostly frozen. When he looks back at you, the corners of his mouth twist down, and he takes one of your cheeks in a big, calloused hand, thumbing under your eye. You were right. It does encompass nearly the entire side of your face.

“What?” You ask weakly, head lolling until the full weight of it rests in his palm.

“Nothin’.” He replies quietly, shaking his head. You watch his gaze dip to the hem of you shirt before it meets yours again, wary, “Can I... You want help?”

All you can do is nod. It’ll be quicker – safer – if he does it for you, you justify, as he carefully slips his fingers just under the hem and lifts. His knuckles feel like brands where they brush over your ribs, and you jolt reflexively.

He pulls it over your head and off your arms, “You alright?”

“F-Fine.” Just being undressed by the man you think you’re in love with. No big deal.

He gets off your boots next. Wetting his chapped lips briefly, his fingers twitch as he glances down at your jeans, “These too?”

It takes a second for you to realize he’s not asking if you want them off, but rather if you want help getting them off. You swallow, then through chattering teeth, “Uh-huh.”

Wordlessly, he undoes the button, then the zipper without dawdling, strictly business. You plant your palms and use what little strength you have left to lift your butt from the floor so he has room to wiggle them down your thighs. They slip over your calves and past your ankles with ease, taking your socks with them.

“You, uh...” Again, he clears his throat. “You can get in the sleeping bag ‘fore you take off the rest.”

Drawing your knees in makes your bones ache, and you list to one side when you attempt to shift your weight forward onto your feet. He catches you roughly by the shoulders and soothes, “Easy. C’mere.”

He helps you over and into the sleeping bag, zipping you up. It takes effort, but you manage to unhook your bra, throwing it near your other clothes weakly. Joel’s got a gloomy look on his face as he scrubs a large hand over the length of your bicep. The warmth from the friction seeps through the fabric and into your skin, but it doesn’t feel like enough.

“You’re wet too.” He looks down at himself at your observation. The front of his clothes are indeed wet. The fact that he’s not near freezing is a miracle.

He hums, hand still heavy on your arm, “Only got one sleepin’ bag.”

“Body heat. S’ better for kee-keepin’ warm anyway, right?” A strange look crosses his face, then, and you feel a little silly for suggesting it. “Only if you want.”

Only if he’s comfortable.

Tentatively, he asks, “You alright with that?’

“Mm-hm.” It sounds too eager. You’re too tired to care.

He hesitates a moment, before nodding, “Alright.”

You mourn the loss of his touch briefly as he stands, moving your packs closer before sliding off his jacket. He lifts his shirt just enough for you to catch a glimpse of the soft slope of his abdomen before seemingly remembering himself.

“Don’t look.” He mumbles, suddenly shy. You do as he says, listening to the shucking of fabric, the clinking of his belt buckle, the zipper of his jeans.

The soft sound of socked feet padding quickly over stone as he rushes to escape the cold. He hisses as he slots himself in behind you.

“Christ, woman, you’re like ice.” His skin is blessedly warm as his torso presses hot against your back.

“Think I don’t know that?” You quip with no malice, body wracked with shivers that aren’t entirely to blame on the cold anymore.

Puffs of his breath fan over your ear as he chuckles, “Wasn’t thinkin’ when I said it. Sorry.”

“S’ okay.” You lift your head so he has space to stretch out his arm, and the curve of your cheek bone fits snuggly into the crook of his elbow. You find his bicep makes a very comfortable pillow, “Your arm’s gonna fall asleep.”

“You comfortable?” He asks, and you nod, “Then I don’t much care.”

You pray he can’t feel your heart palpitating in your chest as you whisper, “Okay.”

The heat radiating off of him could rival a space heater cranked up to the highest setting. It’s doing wonders, thawing your own body and slowly bringing your temperature back up to something more human, less breathing corpse. He’s stiff as a board, though. The arm that isn’t under your head must be tucked tight against his side, and his bare legs are as far from yours as he can get them in the too-small sleeping bag. You want him and his warmth closer.

“You can touch me, Joel.” He stills, and it occurs to you how that must have sounded. “I mean, you’re not going to make me uncomfortable. You can relax.”

“Alright.” His voice is a low rumble in your ear as his hand just barely creeps over your bare waist. He’d be leaving goosebump in his wake if they weren’t already there. “This okay?”

It takes a moment to find your voice.

“Yeah.” It feels funny in your throat. You swallow in an attempt to fix it, “S’ good.”

You feel him finally relax, and try not to jump when he snakes his arm – his very naked arm – around your front, forearm flush against the soft flesh of your stomach and knuckles a little more than a hairs width from the underside of your breast. If you tilted your head just a bit and strained your eyes all the way to the side, you think you could catch a glimpse of his collarbone. You’re too cozy in his hold to move.

“Feelin’ any warmer?” Eyelids fluttering, you hum contentedly. The tip of his nose smushes firm into your shoulder as he murmurs, “Can’t fall asleep yet.”

“Please?” It must come out strangely by the way his breath hitches, “M’ warm enough. Swear.”

“That’s a load a bull if I ever heard it.” He snorts. The vibrations of his voice leave your skin humming, and it coaxes you further into him, “You’re lukewarm at best.”

“Word’s got ‘warm’ in it, doesn’t it?”

He tuts at you. You can hear his smile as he grumbles, “Don’t get smart with me.”

“You love it.”

He chuckles in strange way, “I do.”

Silence. Laying in his arms comes more naturally to you than it probably should. Especially given the fact that the two of you are mostly naked. And warm. So, so warm. Fatigue weighs down your eyelids. You’ve done so much today, you deserve the rest, it whispers.

“You fallin’ asleep over there?”

“Mm-mm.” You grumble, peeling your eyes wide open for a second to wake yourself some before they slide halfway shut again of their own accord, “Some old man keeps yapping in my ear every time I drift off.”

“You watch your mouth.” He growls, joking. Something stirs in your belly. You curse yourself for being too tired and too weak to do anything about it.

You settle for teasing instead. “Or what?”

He scoffs, “Frozen half to death, but still got ‘nough brains to give me lip, huh?”

“Mm-hm.” More silence. The sound of his breathing starts to lull you away into something too far from consciousness, and you drag yourself from it woefully, “F’ you want me to stay awake, you’re gonna have to talk my ear off, cowboy.”

“‘Bout what?”

“Anything.” Everything. Even if you weren’t trying to stay awake for the sake of staying alive, you’d let him ramble about whatever he wanted as long as he’d let you listen.

“Alright.”

He talks about the things he has to do when you get back to Jackson. Apparently, his work room needs a good tidying. When that gets too dull, he tells you about the movie he and Ellie watched last week for movie night. He asks obvious questions throughout explanations to keep you awake. ‘The guy working with the small green... thing, what was his name again? Right, now where was I?’ It feels like a good few hours before he lets you start to drift off. You fall asleep to the sound of his voice, the feel of his warm body tucked in close to your back, and dream of deep space and empires beyond your comprehension.

---

By the time you wake, sunlight is pouring in through the mouth of the cave, and the snow just beyond burns a horizon into your vision when you blink your eyes open. You stretch your legs out a little only to find them tangled between Joel’s. The movement must wake him because he takes a slow, sleepy breath, and squeezes closer.

“Joel?” You breathe. He startles.

“Wh-?” His head lifts and he tightens his hold on you for a split second, head on a swivel. When he realizes there’s no threat, he sighs heavily. You shudder when his arm slides over your bare stomach as he moves to scrub a hand over his face, “Christ.”

“Sorry.”

“S’ fine. My fault for fallin’ asleep.” He drawls, voice gravelly. You shift, and he scoots back just enough to let you turn over, “Time is it?”

“Definitely past dawn.” His eyes dart behind you, and he scowls at the sun. Yours follow the lean tendon in is neck as he lets his head fall back, and you suppress the urge to trace the length of it with your finger.

He curses, and it occurs to you that he hasn’t made much of an effort to disentangle himself from you. Now of sounder mind and warmer body, you notice the hair of his legs prickling against yours. You notice your bare chest pressed close to his, the steady rise and falls of them both as your breaths sync. Eyes trail up his collar, his neck, his face. Russet eyes bore into yours, and your breath hitches. They flick down to your lips. The little space left between you is charged; static electricity that spiders over your skin and lifts the hair on your arms.

“You, uh,” His hand skims over your skin once more; gentle, tentatively affectionate, as if he’s afraid to touch you now that you aren’t in need of his warmth. It settles into the curve of your waist like it’s meant to be there. He’s still staring at your lips. “You feelin’ any better?”

“Yeah.” You breathe. He looks back up at you, then, “Much.”

“Good.” He murmurs just as soft. His eyes dip back down to your lips.

You must be dreaming. Or dead. Or some other state of being beyond reality. Because there is no way he’s leaning in. There’s no way the tip of his nose is brushing yours. There’s no way he’s close enough that you can feel each one of his exhales fanning over your mouth.

“Joel...” It comes out a sigh, barely audible. You’re not even sure you’ve actually said anything aloud until he responds.

“Tell me to stop.” The words leave his lips in a low whisper and settle heavy on yours. You hold your breath as his hand sweeps over your ribs, the length of your collar. It envelops the entire side and back of your neck, igniting your skin as he draws a feather-like line over the edge of your jaw, “Tell me to stop, n’ I will.”

Any minute now, your heart is going to burst through your ribcage. You’re sure of it. Mind blank, you can’t think of anything to say. But you don’t want him to stop. You’ll never want him to stop. A shuddered breath, and you timidly press your the tip of your nose into the apple of his cheek, lips barely a hairs width from his. He turns his face just so, and you almost jump when his cupid’s bow just barely grazes your upper lip.

Your name sounds from somewhere far away, followed by his. The two of you startle, and in an instant, the moment is gone.

“Goddamn it, Tommy.” He huffs under his breath, rolling out of your space as much as he’s able within the confines of the sleeping bag. As glad as you are that someone’s found you, the man’s timing could not be any fucking worse.

“We best get dressed.”

“Yeah.” Your cheeks warm as he begins shimmying out from next to you, gaze catching on his broad chest, the soft muscle of his stomach, the hair trailing from his abdomen down somewhere lower, beneath the thin fabric of his boxers. You close your eyes before you can see anything more.

With him gone, you’re cold again. The frigid air nips at your bare chest, and you snuggle deeper into the sleeping bag until he’s done dressing. His clothes appear to be dry and fit to wear again. Yours are a different story, frozen solid in the shapes they landed in when you tossed them into a pile last night.

“Here.” Something soft plops down in front of your face, and when you open your eyes, there’s a stack of messily folded clothes on the stone floor with a sheepish looking Joel bent over his backpack a little ways away, “You can borrow those.”

Something warm and syrupy fills your chest and squishes between your ribs as you murmur, “Thanks.”

Keeping his gaze on the floor, he only hums in response. You take that as your cue to slide yourself out of the warmth of the sleeping bag. The only thing of yours that doesn’t need to be thawed is your bra, though it’s still cold against your skin as you slide your arms through the straps. Joel’s long sleeve is next. It’s soft, and smells like cedar and something uniquely him. You resist the urge to bury your nose in the fabric, too afraid he’ll decide to look up and catch you doing it.

When you’re done, you make your way to him and catch the quick once over he gives you.

“Like what you see?” You grin. He rolls his eyes.

He jerks his nose in the direction of your belongings, grumbling, “Get your stuff.”

You oblige, slinging your pack over your shoulders and stepping out into the sun after him. It blinds you, and the backs of your eyes ache as you blink to adjust them to the light. Luckily, the weather is significantly better today. No unexpected squalls, blue skies, and just a little warmer than yesterday.

“Tommy?” Joel suddenly calls out into the woods, his volume startling you bad. He grimaces, looking disproportionately apologetic, “Sorry.”

“Sorry?” You scoff, grinning playfully and shaking your head, “Nuh-uh, that was totally unforgivable.” You bump his shoulder with yours, “You’re really gonna have to make up for that.”

A dampened smile turns the corners of his mouth up as he bumps you back lightly, breathing a laugh, “Not a chance.”

“Joel?” Tommy calls back, closer than before. “This way!”

He’s brought a search party. A fair sized one, judging by how many voices respond at varying distances. It’s not long until you spot two people on horseback through the trees, one with familiar curls and a newer face with sandy blonde hair.

“Joel!” Tommy sounds utterly relieved as he slides off his gelding and engulfs him in a hug, clapping him over the shoulders before pushing him back, stern, “What the hell happened? We all thought you’d gotten yourselves killed!”

“One of us almost did.” Joel mutters, shooting a look at you. “Twice.”

Tommy gawps, looks like he’s about to ask before sighing in resignation. “You can tell me about it on the way home. Ellie’s been losin’ her mind since last night. Girl hasn’t slept a wink. Had to keep an eye on her to make sure she didn’t take off to find y’all by herself in the dark.”

Joel tuts and shakes his head, scrubbing a hand over his face, “You find our horses?”

“Yeah, Maria and Bev found ‘em early this mornin’.” He leads the two of you back towards his horse. “You’ll have ‘ta ride back with us.”

“I’ll ride with Jamie.” Jamie’s sort of new to Jackson, newer to you considering you’ve only been there about a year and he’s got a quarter more on you. He’s friendly, you like him. You have a feeling Joel holds a very different sentiment as he glowers, displeased as the man helps you up.

“Hold on tight.” He grins. Joel looks about one more dazzling smile from murdering him in cold blood.

He’s quiet the whole ride back, broody with his face set in a scowl. Tommy makes conversation here and there, asks what happened again and nearly breaks his neck when he whips his head to look at you in shock. You get similar reactions when you make it back to Jackson and explain.

“Joel!” Ellie flings herself at him and nearly bowls him over in her rush to hug him. You’re next, though with noticeably less force. You must still look a little rough, “What the hell happened?”

“We were passin’ over the lake n’ she fell through the ice.” He omits the part before that where you’d nearly gotten your face eaten by an infected, and for that, you’re thankful.

She pales, looking at you like you’ve grown an extra head, “You what?!”

“I’m fine.” You rush to reassure, glaring at Joel where he’s slipping the reigns off Tommy’s horse out of the corner of your eye, “It’s nothing to worry about now.”

“Like hell it ain’t.” He grumbles under his breath as he carefully slips the bit from the horse’s mouth and gives him a pat on the cheek, muttering a clipped ‘hey’ when you thwack his shoulder as hard as you’re willing. He gives Ellie a short, well meaning lecture that’s met with a very prompt dismissal consisting of some very colourful language as you move to help Jamie with his mare. Maria stops you with a hand on your wrist.

“Jamie’s got it, you go home. I don’t want to see you working for the next couple of days, alright?”

“But-?”

She cuts you off with a firm shake of her head. “That wasn’t a suggestion.”

“Alright.” You sigh, handing Jamie the reigns. As you’re leaving, you barely catch Joel whisper a ‘thank you’ to her and whip around to glower at him. “You’re responsible for my involuntary sick leave?”

“Necessary sick leave. And no, I’m not. You’re just known to be lackin’ in the self preservation department, so we gotta have some for you.” He teases, bumping your shoulder a little in a way you think is supposed to be playful. “C’mon. I’m walkin’ you home.”

“Yeah? Finally done with your brooding?”

He clicks his teeth, “M’ not brooding.”

“Not now, but you were.”

“Was not.”

“Was too.”

“Quit it.” He breathes a laugh, shaking his head. You grin, victorious.

“I’m serious, you scowled the whole way back. Between the cold and the time it took to get here, I was a little worried your face would get stuck like that. I’d never get to see that charming smile again.”

He rolls his eyes. “How would you ever survive?”

You both chuckle, before falling into comfortable silence. You pass house after house, before taking a right onto your street. Through their front window, you can see a couple you’ve yet to meet properly stands in their living room, swaying in an embrace, gazing at each other with an appreciation you only come to grasp when you’ve nearly lost someone. The man slides a hand from her waist to her cheek, thumbing the underside of her eye, and you’re reminded of the feel of Joel’s calloused palm holding your frigid cheek.

You frown, pulling your prying eyes from the sweet scene as you near your own home, “Hey, why’d you... hold my face for a second out there?”

He flushes, clears his throat with a frown, “Your pupils were so big, could barely see any colour.”

As you reach your porch, he looks deep in thought and- Worried? Rattled, maybe. Moreso as he softly admits, “You scared the hell outta me, y’know.”

“Yeah, I know.” In a rare act of bravery, you take his warm hand and squeeze, gazing at him earnestly, “I’m really sorry.”

He visibly softens, the perpetual wrinkle in his brow smoothing into something warmer, a little hesitant, dare you say even timid. You watch his gaze flick over your face before he squeezes back cautiously, “S’alright. Was my fault. Knew we shouldn’t a’ crossed that way this time a’ year.”

“Don’t blame yourself. I suggested it, it was my fault, too.” You reply, firm but gentle.

He looks down with a hum, scuffing the toe of a heavy boot over the concrete path that leads to your house. There’s a small silence, and you’re trying to find the words to assure him you were both idiots for trying to pass over that damn lake when he pipes up again.

“I meant it, before,” He smiles cautiously, unsure of himself, “Don’t ever pull shit like that again.”

You laugh, glad the mood has shifted to something lighter, still holding his hand as you shake your head, “I meant it too! I didn’t do it on purpose.”

He chuckles, looking down to your linked hands. You watch his expression carefully, and something bittersweet twists his lips when he gives yours one last squeeze before pulling away.

“See you ‘round, yeah?” Your heart sinks to your stomach and hollows it out, making room for a strange disappointment. Something that feels a little like grief as you watch what could have been as it slips through your fingers and takes half a step back from your porch.

“Yeah.” It soughs out on a breath that leaves your lungs too quick, and you take another, controlled and slow. You nod, smile tight lipped, “See you around, Joel.”

You turn, make it up the wooden steps of your porch and through the threshold of your door. It shuts, and you just stand there, snow melting off of your boots and coat and soaking into the door mat below. It feels wrong, leaving whatever happened between you undiscussed, and the hollow feeling pulses achingly in your throat. There’s something there, something palpable. Something that could be real, if only you would reach for it. You wish he would have reached for it. You wish you would reach for it now. But it’s impulsive. It’s reckless. He knows that, that’s why he left it alone. It needs more thought, you rationalize.

You turn on your heel and reach for the door handle. He’s already standing there with a hand raised to knock when it opens, looking as startled as you are.

“Listen, I-.” He clears his throat, shoves his hands into the pockets of his jacket. It’s endearing to see him so bashful, “What happened out there... I couldn’t not say somethin’.”

There’s too much air in your chest. Your vocal cords feel more like wind chimes – unpredictable, and at the mercy of something more so. You don’t trust your breath to sway them the way you want them to.

“Yeah?” You try anyway. It drifts out soft and hangs in the air.

“Yeah.” He shifts his weight from one foot to the other, glances over your shoulder with a sniff, then chuckles nervously, “Hadn’t actually thought about what that somethin’ would be ‘fore I did this.”

You chuckle with him; startled, shy.

“Would you like to have dinner with me sometime?” He asks like it’s easy, but the colour in his cheeks give him away. They’re a bit too pink for it to be just a cold flush.

Your stomach does a strange flip. You’ve waited months for him to ask, too afraid to ask yourself without knowing what his answer might be. You dig your thumbnail into the side of your index finger and rejoice at the pinch. He’s real, and he’s really asking.

The sound you make is halfway between a laugh and a sigh, “This is a little backwards, isn’t it?”

He frowns. “What d’you mean?”

“I mean, usually you take a lady out to eat before you sleep with her.” You simper, your teasing tentative. He stares at you, stunned, for a long, unbelievably nerve wracking moment.

“I take it back. I’ll eat by myself.” He laughs, shaking his head. He stays standing on your porch.

“Wha-,” You gape, laughing as you thwack his arm, “Hey, you already offered, you can’t take it back now!”

He smiles so terribly, wonderfully soft. “So I take it you do, then?”

God, it has to be illegal to look at someone like that, you think. It’s got to be some sort of health hazard, the way you feel as though you might just go into cardiac arrest right here on your porch. You smile, giddy and trying your damndest to smother it into something just a little less eager, “I’d love to have dinner with you, Joel.”

“How ‘bout tomorrow night? My place?”

“Yeah.” You can’t help the grin that sneaks up on you, “Yeah, that’d be good.”

He smiles back, soft and warm in a way you have a feeling is reserved for you, “Pick you up a six.”

“You’re right across the street, Joel.” You laugh, gesturing to the house maybe fifty paces from yours if you took long enough strides.

He chuckles along with you, “So?”

“So, I could just come over.”

“You could.” He shrugs a shoulder, grinning something that makes him look years younger; the ghost of a cheeky, twenty-something year old buried under as many years and then some, breathing his first breath in decades with heartbeat restored, “But what kind a’ gentleman would I be if I didn’t walk you there?”

“Alright.” You smile soft, committing his expression to memory. “I’ll be waiting.”

“Countin’ the minutes.” He takes your hand again and steps in close, leaning in to press his warm lips to the apple of your cheek, beard prickling ticklishly. Good god, you can’t feel your legs. Your is heart bouncing between your ribs so quick its making you a little lightheaded. You wonder if he’s grinning because he could feel the heat rising off your skin. He squeezes your tingling fingers and lets his slide from them slow like he’s loathe to leave. “See you ‘round.”

“See you around, Joel.”

[withlove-xixi]

helloooo my chilchuck crush is back in full swing... can you write the nsfw alphabet for him...

— CHILCHUCK NSFW ALPHABET: chilchuck x reader

ᥫ cw: nsfw, general nsfw alphabet stuff ★ just in time because i lowkey miss writing for chilchuck lol TT ! a bit of this is just a reiteration of my chilchuck nsfw thoughts which i hope you dont mind ! — MINORS DNI! —

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

— i wanna say chilchuck is a bit snobbish after sex if that makes sense. like sex is already a big, vulnerable thing for him, it's a bit difficult for him to extend that intimacy to what comes after. it doesnt mean he'd ignore you, but he'll be more or less quiet, and way more gentle than usual. it's just usually sleepily petting your hair or nuzzling against you

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

— his favorites of his are his eyes and ears, because 1. it comes in handy with his line of work and 2. gods forbid he's forced not to see and hear you when he's got you beneath him

— his favorite of yours are your hands. he likes comparing hand sizes or holding them or whatnot. it's a nice, reliable means of emotionally anchoring him in a way

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

— hey u guys see that one post that said something something "what if half-foots fucked like rabbit" ? yeah ♥ something instinctual tells him to cum inside as much as he can, so he does. and besides that, it's nice seeing his cum leak out of you

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

— oh chilchuck has definitely fantasized about having a younger partner ... not in a age play sort of way, but he feels a strange arousal at the idea of dating someone who's about his daughters' age

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

— man has like three kids ... he's got more than enough experience under his belt.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

— anything that has you on his lap tbh! he likes it, he loves holding onto your ass or thighs when you're bouncing on it

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

— very serious really. he's shy of deadpanning the whole time he fucks you tbh

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

— im not typically the type for it but ... chilchuck ... body hair ... waow ! he's trimmed at most, and he'd shave if you asked him to, but preferably he lets all his body hair be

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

— he's oddly romantic in his own way. if you two had been together for a while, then it's definitely slow kisses all over your body and gently smoothing his thumb over your skin and all. but if not, then it's simple things like making sure there's a soft pillow under your head or tucking your hair to the side and stuff

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

— some forever ago when he was younger, definitely getting himself off was something far from unfamiliar. it helped alleviate the stress of his work and helped him let off steam. but these days, he doesn't

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

— ive mentioned it before in my chilchuck nsfw thoughts but he's pretty vanilla, but the idea of tying you up has definitely crossed his mind once or twice

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

— bedroom definitely. chilchuck doesnt like mixing his private affairs and public affairs, and can be pretty strict about it. (tho im certain, over time, if you pouted and pleaded with him enough, he'd say yes to anything you asked for)

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

— chilchuck is a simple man who gets turned on if you kiss him too much honestly. it's easy to turn him on honestly, but most especially whispering in his ears honestly

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

— nothing specific comes to mind to things chilchuck wouldn't like, but there are definitely some small things that freak him out or make his skin crawl

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

— receivingggg! honestly, it's one of his favorite things actually. just the warmth and slick of someone's mouth on him, seeing them pressed against him like that, feeling their groans against his dick.. it's so overwhelming

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

— it depends on his mood honestly. most nights, he likes to take things slow, kiss you all over before he even thinks about taking your clothes off. but other nights, it's some form of carnal need to satiate his cravings.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

— oh chilchuck loves quickies, but definitely doesnt do them often. it's typically when he's far too pent up, then he wordlessly pins you against the nearest surface in the house to kiss you sloppily as his hands tug at your clothes with want and need

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

— he's not the risky type, but again, after some time together, definitely if you begged and pleaded enough, he's give in. but never to anything too extreme or dangerous.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

— chilchuck can last pretty decently, but prefers to go only one or two rounds. (his age is catching up to hi /j)

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

— if you had mentioned it around him, he'd have shyly gone and gotten some for you honestly. it was weird at first but he's come to love playing with you like that, teasing you and riling you up then mocking you afterwards

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

— :)) chilchuck likes being mean, he really likes being mean. whether it's physically teasing you by lightly touching you, running his hands over your thighs, or verbally teasing you by calling you names or being condescending, chilchick is going to be some form of mean one way or another

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

— the whimpererrrr the whinerrrr ! he's pretty loud, or rather, it feels like he's loud because every noise he makes is pressed against your skin, he's like whimpering against your ear or groaning against your shoulder.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

— its funny only to me but i like to think he's worried he will get erectile dysfunction because he's old lol

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

— again, like i mentioned w the kabru nsfw alphabet, ive never seen a actual penis before like even in pictures so i wouldnt even know how to properly describe it but i think chilchuck is big for a half-foot, which would be decently sized for a tallman

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

— hey u guys see that one post that said something something "what if half-foots fucked like rabbit" ? yeah ♥ (2) chilchuck has a pretty high sex drive, he's typically willing to do it with you whenever too. but you have to remember chilchuck is a pretty responsible and stubborn guy, so despite his high sex drive, if he tells you to wait then you'd have to wait

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

— falls asleep very quickly, but he gets quite clingy when he's tired, so chilchuck grabbing onto your arm and pressing his face against it, isnt really the worst way to end a night of sex

[aizamatsu]

alright a few people mentioned wanting to hear more about meeting some of the death note VAs so i'm gonna ramble under the cut!

alright so i was lucky enough to go to an anime convention this past weekend and i decided to splurge n spend some money on autographs/meet and greets.

so i met L's voice actor alessandro juliani first. his table had no one in line (perks of being a VA for a 20 year old anime i guess)! i wasn't sure exactly what to do so i walked up to his table and he smiled and waved at me :000 i spoke to his assistant and paid for him to autograph my death note w just his name (paying for a quote is more than just an autograph) and then jus stepped over to the side and spoke to him! he asked me my name and how to spell it, and also asked my boyfriend his name despite him not paying for anything lol. i told him that it was my 21st bday on sunday and that i'd like it if he could write that somewhere in my death note. so he autographed the front of it and decorated it with different colored sharpies and wrote "hope you get cake - L" which made me very very happy bc he did it for free :D his voice is literally like warm milk yall his energy was just so relaxed and humble he is genuinely great. he's also very handsome but that's just me being a dilf enjoyer ok.,,,

after that i got to meet misa's voice actor shannon chan-kent. i mentioned in my last post that she wasn't very nice so let me elaborate on that. essentially she was sitting there on her phone for almost the entire interaction w the exception of her writing her name on my death note. she didn't make eye contact really or ask me for my name which was just a little bit of a bummer. the whole interaction was maybe only 30 seconds. i asked her how she was and she was very short w me. i don't have any ill will towards her i just kinda wish she had made an effort to speak to me but at the end of the day she's a human being and was probably drained/tired. she also doesn't owe kindness to me cus im litrally a random boy paying for her autograph. i'm still happy i got her signature though and i'd be down to meet her again ;p

last but not least i met light's voice actor brad swaile and my god guys. he was sooo fucking nice. i was talking to his assistant about cosplays while i was waiting for my turn (i was next in line) and this interaction happened

me to the assistant: swag is priceless though

brad; *turns his head* did you just say.. swag is priceless?

me, lowkey FREAKING THE FUCK OUT: haha . yeah.

brad: *laughs* wrong. swag is very expensive.

like bitch i made brad swaile laugh >???? lets fucking go?? anyways after that he finished up with the person he was with and i slid over to his area and had him sign my DN. i told him it was my 21st and that i'd love for him to write happy bday on it and he was like "Omg!! make sure to be safe!! what are your plans?" and we started chatting about going out to the clubs and drinking safely lol. i also paid for him to write a long quote as well,,, i wanted him to write "this is the first time in my life that i've been provoked to hit a woman" and i was like if ur not okay with writing that quote i totally get it i dont wanna be offensive and he was like

brad: O:< ..... just kidding imagine if i said no. i think thats funny.

then he signed it adjkfhjajsk. he also drew me a slice of cake and gave me a bunch of stamps like he decorated the shit out of it it was so cutie. then we took a picture together and he put his arm around me !!! i was fanboying so hard internally.

anyways yeah it was so epic and i now have a mega decked out death note with autographs and doodles. such a great experience. :))))

[karmaajr]

HEYO Y'ALL!!!! I got bored and decided my last intro post was WAY too unorganised (even by my standards frfr 😔😔🙏) so i made a new one!!! hopefully this ones a bit better or else ima light somebody on fire 🥰🥰

anyways dms n asks r ALWAYS open and if ur new to my person/being/blog/existancewhatevs and wanna get to know me or smth then FEEL FREE TO SLIDE IN GIRLYPOPS!!! I'M ALWAYS BORED SOO 😭😭🙏 (might take like, a billion years to reply tho mbmb >:3)

and thus again, without any further ado, MY INTRO POST 😍

🎶 try to strike a chord but it's probably A MINOR 🎶 -> ✨️im under 18✨️ idm nsfw convos tho bcuz theyre funny :D

sooo tbh you can call me whatever you want? like ppl call me different things (eg senka calls me kam, bea calls me keke/kekere bcuz shes 🎶a meanie, a big meanie🎶 my irl bestie westie pookie poo calls me jeena CUZ HES A LIL BITCH) but MHM!!! CALL ME WHATEVER U WANNA <33 (as long as it dont feel masc bcuz my dumbass got issues w feeling masc for some RANDOM STUPID REASON 💀) (like im literally a cis girl why do i got problems w this....... but YAAAA 😭) (she/her btw!!! if that wasnt obvious!! ^^)

✨️i am cringe but i am free✨️

I SOMETIMES USE GENDERED TERMS LIKE GIRLY/BRO/DUDE/ETC BUT I DON'T MEAN IT GENDERED SO IF YOU FEEL IFFY THEN DONT HESITATE TO HMU N TELL ME TO FIX UP MY SHIT

btw im a tad bit of train wreck but if u enjoy the chaos then we'll get along js fine i think pooks 😋😋

anyways it came to my shitty little attention span one day when i was just being a silly lil girly that some of yall think im white when i say im british....... CHAT NOOO IM BORN N RAISED IN THIS TEA RIDDEN COUNTRY BUT ETHNICITY WISE IM BANGLADESHI!??!?! YALL IM LITERALLY A BROWNIE OMFDS 🤧

also a lot of this blog is a bunch of reblogs of shit im interested in BUT I DO HAVE OG STUFFFFFF, THEY'RE JUST IN THEIR OWN TAGS U GET ME??? anyways some of the tags!!!

karmaajr rambles -> for everything i post besides answers to asks :3

karmaajr answers ig :D -> answers to asks ^^

important thing for me to tag bcuz yes -> random thing i really wanna save (also im bad at tagging so sometimes thing has an "s" or tag has an "s" lmfao, ITS A RLLY USELESS TAG TO TRY SCROLL THRU ICL.... RLLY DRY AS WELL)

karmas mum mentions :3 -> i like to think this one explains itself yall 😘

daddy's unhinged -> anything about my sweet ol' pops (who totes cares abt me yall) 🥰

my sister and I -> anything my sister is involved in that i actually remember to tag LMFAO

NOT MY ASS MENTIONING PANIK -> me wanting to save things that r to do w my gf 🫶

BTW HIS @ IS @panikbutt0n AND SHE'S MY MAPLE SYRUP CHUGGING 4LIFER AND LITERALLY THE BEST THING SINCE RIPPED BREAD AND I LOVE HER SO SO SO MUCH SO ACC HIT HER UP PLZ 🙏🙏🙏🙏

btw yall, ur homegirl aint no gatekeeper so the group matching pfp thingy is from @tuturthecarvroom 's blog (n they very skibidi sbg art btw so i do reccomend frfr) and mY HEADER IS OFF GOOGLE SEARCH 😍😍

ALSO I AM CURRENTLY MATCHING WITH THE SILLIEST GROUP EVER FRFR, GONNA TRY @ THEM ALL BUT IT'S HARDDD (my memory is the shittiest thing since That One Time my friend shit his trousers on call w me 💪💪💪)

@lee1504 -> BRAINROTTED KING 🙏🙏

@d011zk1ll -> both kind af and somewhat unhinged??? like both "do a good deed to make somebody else's life easier ☺️" AND "im gonna eat a bicycle :p"

@sketchingwithlyn -> JUST THE CHILLEST GUY EVERRRR!!!!

@rot-decay-erosion -> gramps 🧓🏻 (also known as the desendant of our king garfield 😙✨️)

@afrogwhocantdraw -> RESIDENT BENLOR POOKIE

@low-senka -> the brokest senior citezen youve ever met 💔💔💔💔 (yall need to donate to my guy 🥺🥺🥺)

(also the thing below had me stuck looking at it for literally AGES so hehehehehhehehe GET TRAPPED IDIOT!!!!!! >:3!!!!!)

▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒

(dots r fun)

anyways i have no clue what else to write!!! which is weird bcuz im a yapper frfr :D

ANYWAYS LOVE Y'ALL ✨️✨️✨️

WAIT

⁠⁠⁠ᘛ⁠⁐̤⁠ᕐ⁠ᐷ ⁠⁠

.......... ᘛ⁠⁐̤⁠ᕐ⁠ᐷ ⁠⁠

.................... ᘛ⁠⁐̤⁠ᕐ⁠ᐷ ⁠⁠

.............................. ᘛ⁠⁐̤⁠ᕐ⁠ᐷ ⁠⁠

........................................ ᘛ⁠⁐̤⁠ᕐ⁠ᐷ ⁠⁠

..................................................ᘛ⁠⁐̤⁠ᕐ⁠ᐷ ⁠⁠

............................................................ ᘛ⁠⁐̤⁠ᕐ⁠ᐷ

......................................................................⁠ ᘛ⁠⁐̤⁠ᕐ⁠ᐷ

⁠

THEY 👥 DONT🙅🏼‍♀️ LOVE 😘 YOU 🫵🏼 LIKE I 👀 LOVE 🥰 YOU 🫵🏼🫵🏼🫵🏼

[letsbangchanblog]

NSFW ABCs for THEO

Mature content: 18+ post! Minors, do not enter!!

Summary: NSFW ABCs

Idol: THEO from p1harmony

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Theo is a brat and a tease but he is very kind during aftercare. You just do so well for him that he can't help but wanna baby you. Be prepared for a lot of praise and love. Theo knows he doesn't play fair so you deserve the world for putting up with it. 

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

Theo loves his hands but more specifically his hands on you.  Your reaction has made him obsessed. 

He loves everything about you.  He won't pick. He thinks it's dumb because it's the whole combination. Your ass with that smile. He wants to destroy you (with love). 

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

He cums a normal amount but I think he wants to fuck a lot. If he's mad, you're fucking. If he's happy, you're fucking. He fucks for everything. He likes it messy too. He will only want to cum on you (until inside is approved). He doesn't mind you swallowing but never wants to make you since it looks so good on your face. 

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

I don't think he keeps secrets from you. He will tell you straight up his nasty thoughts. You make him feel safe enough to share his desires (they are super freaky). He needs  you to know how slutty he can be for you. He is a very private guy though so it's only for you. Not even the boys have an idea of how freaky he is. 

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

I think he has very basic experience. He seems like the type to only fuck when hes in love. He is not into anything casual; he tried and hated it. He can't do his dirty desires with just anyone. 

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Butter churner or anything good for deep penetration. He wants you to feel him in your guts. He is willing to try any position but will only remember the ones that both of you enjoy. He is HUGE TEASE. He will make fun of you during some. 

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

He is one that just sounds goofy sometimes. He will say some crazy shit and not even realize how dumb he sounds but it's low key hot. He doesn't want it to be humorous so if you laugh at something he said, he will make you regret it. 

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

I dont think he's consistent. He will be bare one time and full bush the next. He just doesn't care since it's natural. 

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

He's not very romantic during sex (very romantic outside). He loves degrading you. He would remind you how much of a whore you are for him. Theo thinks being a whore for him is romantic, so maybe you would agree.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

I think he masturbates a lot. He's just a horny guy. You almost just expect it since it's a stress release for him. 

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Dacryphilia but not from actual pain. He would be very devastated if you were crying from actual pain (even emotional pain). He just wants you to be very overwhelmed with pleasure that you can't help but cry. 

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

Anywhere but must be private. He doesn't like sharing so he can't have anyone hear you.  It would only make him really mad at that person, not even you; however, he would make you feel like he was mad at you for being loud. He thinks nothing is actually your fault though. 

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Slut for moans and tears. You cry during sex and he's yours forever. He thinks you are soooo pretty. If you are pouty, he has to tease you. Call you a little cry baby for cock. 

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Sharing of any kind.. no threesomes.. You are only his and he won't stand for anything else. He kinda gets mad when you show too much skin and will make you pay for it (he's only half serious, he just needs a reason to punish you).

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Hardcore muncher. He will eat you out for hours but only in the form of edging. He wants to remind you HE controls your orgasms. 

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

Very rare when he is slow and sensual. Sweet sex is only for your birthday or anniversary (maybe after a romantic movie). 

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Um, you can probably convince him but he thinks it's too easy. He would rather have you give him head or finger you.  

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

He's willing to try anything once but he's not very interested in losing control. He has to be the dominant one. He owns you sexually. For your birthday, you might be able to explore dominating him because he's extra romantic that day (being a whore is romantic!!!) 

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

He literally would have you for days at a time. He never gets tired. He would have sex every day for the rest of his life but he knows it's not possible with how rough he can be to you.  He also wants you to beg for it. He wants to give it up but wont do it very easily. He wants you to become very desperate but he's so hot it's not hard.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

He has a complex so I'm not sure. Maybe things like nipple clamps, whips, and such but no vibrators. He would rather pretend those don't exist for you. 

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

He is the KING of unfair. He wants to give in but it's so much fun watching you being a whiny mess. You really have to earn it in his eyes. 

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

Almost too quiet with moaning. He will talk your ear off but doesn't really moan (I know, tragic). King of dirty talk. 

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

Would tie you up and leave you in the corner blindfolded. He's mean sometimes. You have to beg so perfectly for him to finally touch you or acknowledge you.  

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

He is above average but he thinks he is average. I would imagine there are times where it hurts after but he truly doesn't know or mean it. He wants to fuck you deep but not hurt you.  

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

Boy is sex. Every day… you often wonder why he is never satisfied but he blames you for being tasty. It's honestly your fault; you created the monster. 

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

His complex gets him here too. He won't allow himself to fall asleep. You have to sleep before him.  It's only fair. 

(If you haven't caught on, his heart is a soft dom, but his ego is a hard dom; he loves you so much and makes sure to show it everywhere else in your relationship)

[noveauskull]

CALLING OUT ALL L&DS PLAYERS RN!!!

I have a genuine question that revolves around this very specific story idea and im just D Y I N G to know if i should make it happen or not and i need the words and support of every fellow L&DS writer and reader ASAP

(im super anxious writing this cause what if everyone thinks this idea sucks or not enough ppl see this post cause they dgaf 😭😭)

so im thinking of making a fanfic of L&DS where MC has a twin sister. this twin sister is like her evil half and tbh not really her twin but more like part of MC's self where all the evil and painful things she did is hidden in that half of herself which is her twin sister.

MC lost her memories of all the male leads in L&DS when she used her aether core to divide herself into the worse half of her, which is why she has heart problems and overall just issues with having an aether core, because of her twin that carries all the past mistakes and sorrows she had.

I plan on making MC's twin a very aggressive, childish and petty person, but she can have her times of weakness and be very sweet and caring when she wants to, i mean, she is the bitter half of MC so of course she has to be cruel, but we also get to see how MC's twin grows into being the true version of MC.

I would just jump onto making the fic happen however i need it to be clear that the main focus won't be MC herself but MC's twin, and all the male leads in L&DS will be showing affection towards MC AT FIRST before moving on towards MC's twin.

I even have the names of MC and MC's twin planned out (since I cant always narrate them as MC and MC's twin) in both chinese and english! *since L&DS is a chinese game and also because im using english to write the fic*

Also the debate on making this fic a fluff only with slight angst or fluff, angst and SMUTTY AS HELL with all male leads is a very, very, VERY big option that im struggling to choose, but as my pride and joy of being a smut writer, i think the smut side is really pushing through here.

So far these are all the main information i wanna share before making the fic happen, hopefully enough blogs reply to this post cause i am in DESPERATE NEED OF FEEDBACK cause if no one is going to read it why bother amiright or amiright LMAO

im kidding but please do give your thoughts on this! if i dont think a lot of people are interested im cool with that too but again it'd be amazing to actually write a full on fanfic that isnt just oneshots or short tumblr posts, and a SMUT one at that!

Im always eager to challenge myself and i think im ready to take the leap for this one!

[therealplaguedoctor]

Flordia Girl

(Part three of three, completed)

Logan sargeant x reader

Part one

____________ ☆ ____________

Y.n just posted!

Liked by logansargeant and others

Tagged: logansargeant, ynsister

Y.n: Dakota loves Logan, I think she loves him more than she loves me :(

But Logan and I went fishing with my niece and nefew as @/ynsister and Tommy (brother in law) grilled us some food! Right now we are making s'mores actually!! Logans marshmallow just caught fire...

User45: just start dating already

User46: for real!!

User47: Logan with kids heals my heart

User48: Why is Logan so good with kids??

User49: y/n IF YOU DONT DATE THIS MAN

OscarPiastri: now I want s'mores :(

Y.n: ill ship you one

OscarPiastri: :D

User50: y/n and Oscar were siblings in another life

View more

____________ ☆ ____________

Kylie eventually came back, she had just settled down the kids putting them to sleep. As me, Logan, and Tommy cleaned up. The sun was setting as we all sat down around the fire.

We sat for a while all of us chatted before Kylie said: "it's really late we should head to bed"

I nodded as I stood up Tommy began to put the fire out "yeah you mind is we crash on your couch I don't wanna walk back when it's this dark

"Of course not! You know I was gonna offer anyways" Kylie smiled

____________ ☆ ____________

It was late maybe just past midnight, I head shuffling on the floor next to me.

"Logan?" I called softly from the couch, the shuffling stopped

"Sorry did I wake you"

"No" I said softly "have you been able to fall asleep?" I asked him. After some silence.

"No.."

I shuffled a little making more room on the couch "come ere" I yawned

After a moment I heard some shuffling and felt the couch dip next to me. The couch was a bit small so we were basically on top of eachother.

We were to tired to care as we few asleep

____________ ☆ ____________

Ynsister posted a story

[Can they just get together already 🙄]

This post has been deleted

____________ ☆ ____________

"Where are we even heading?" He asked "my legs are killing me"

"I thought you were a strong athlete" I joked "what's a little walking?" I teased "but its not that much farther"

Dakota came back and checked on us before running off again

____________ ☆ ____________

"Okay here's the first camp sight" I said

"Wait first??"

"Yeah we'll sit here tonight then a bit back down the mountain to a lake" I said "then we could also do part way in the forest the day after if we want to or if it's to dark to continue" I smiled as I started setting up the tent

____________ ☆ ____________

logansargeant just posted to his story!

[Remind me to never let her take me camping again] [my legs are killing me]

____________ ☆ ____________

"Logan" I said softly "wake up"

He sat up "huh?"

"We gotta start packing up soon" I said handing him some coffee "made you some coffee it's pretty bitter i forgot how bad campsite coffee is" I laughed

He smiled sipping on the bitter coffee "yeah I'll be making the coffee from now on" he laughed

____________ ☆ ____________

logansargeant just posted a story!

[At least the view is beautiful]

Oscar responded to your story!

Oscar: You talking about the ACTUAL view or y/n

Logan: no comment

Oscar: 😐

____________ ☆ ____________

"Alright" I said as I put my backpack on "let's go" I smiled

Logan patted Dakotas head as he then followed me down the trail

____________ ☆ ____________

We approach a small cabin right next to a lake "Welcome to our next campsite" I said as Dakota rushed over to the small dock next to the cabin

____________ ☆ ____________

"Come on Kota" I called patting the paddle board eventually she hops on and I get up on my knees grabbing that paddle.

"You sure you're good with just fishing?" I asked him

"Yeah I'll be fine you have fun" he smiled

____________ ☆ ____________

Y.n just posted to her story!

[Dakota wasn't sure of the board]

[She loves it now]

____________ ☆ ____________

logansargeant just posted to his story!

[Fishing ft. Y.n and Dakota in the background]

____________ ☆ ____________

As the fire crackled, and Dakota laid inside the small cabin. Me and Logan sat next to eachother watching the lake.

"It's beautiful isn't it?" I asked

I looked over to Logan, he was already looking at me "yeah" he said softly

We locked eyes "Logan..." I said softly

"Y/n..." he said "I-" he glanced at my lips. It was unmistakable.

Fuck. I thought to myself. I want him to "Kiss me" I said. I watched his face, "shit I said that out loud." I started to panic "can we pretend-"

I was cut off by a kiss. He was kiss me. I kissed back, by hand on the back of his head.

We break the kiss to catch our breath foreheads against eachother.

"I uh-" he said "fuck"

I chuckled "I been wanting to do that for so long"

Logan smiled at my comment "me too. Me too"

____________ ☆ ____________

Y.n just posted!

Liked by ynfriend and others

Tagged: logansargeant, ynfriend

Y.n: meet up with some friends for the last leg of the hike/camping! They are giving Logan a run for his money lol. Also thank you Logan for being my personal photographer

logansargeant: finally getting the recognition I deserve

Liked by y.n

OscarPiastri: 🙄🙄🙄

User51: y.n making Logan take her pics is my roman empire

User52: I think that y/n and logan are dating

User53: I've thought they are just friends, but like it's hard to keep saying that

View more

____________ ☆ ____________

"People already think we've been together since the Miami gp" I said as I walked down the trail back to the house

"I would mind having been with you since then" he huffed

"Logan" I chuckled "do you remember the video with mclaren" I smiled

"Yeah they one where you told Oscar and Lando who your celeb crush is right?" He asked a little jealous of who her celeb crush is

"I actually didn't even tell either of them" I laughed "but I told them they were an f1 driver currently or past" I smiled

"Who is it?" He asked thinking of all the people it could be

"Logan" I said "it was you"

"Really?" He asked happily

I nodded

He smiled brightly "You're my celeb crush too"

"I know" I said "I saw the prema video when it came out"

"WHAT?!"

I laughed "Logan I've followed you for a very long time" I chuckled "before that video came out"

He cover his face "Oh my god. I'm so embarrassed now"

____________ ☆ ____________

Y.n just posted!

Liked by logansargeant and others

Y.n: finally back in air conditioning, I love the outdoors but not as much as air conditioned.

User54: WHO IS THAT

Ynbrother: who the fuck is on the last slide

User55: YPU DONT MENTION WHATS ON THE LAST SLIDE

User56: Y/N WHO IS THAT???

User57: IS THAT LOGAN

View more

____________ ☆ ____________

logansargeant just posted!

Liked by Y.n and others

Tagged: Y.n

logansargeant: her <3

Y.n: 💙

logansargeant: 💙

User58: NOT LOGAN HARD LAUNCHING HER

User59: I KNEW IT

User60: I JUST WON 100 DOLLARS YESS

User61: NO I JUST LOST $100

OscarPiastri: can your wing man get any credit?

logansargeant: You did nothing

OscarPiastri: I GAVE YOU HER NUMBER

Y.n: actually I asked for his number

OscarPiastri: fuck, I forgot

Y.n: it's okay Osc we love you anyways 🫶

logansargeant: :(

Y.n: I love you too 💙

logansargeant: :D

____________ ☆ ____________

Fin.

Part one:

[wackywatchdotcom]

hiii !!! love ur art lots, so i've been wondering, what program/app and brushes you use? i love the paper effect you give to your drawings, makes me want to eat em /pos

thank you so much!!!! i appreciate that a lot :D!!!!

(accidentally rambled a lot abt this HAHA)

i use medibang!! ive been using it forrrr maybe like 7ish years now... ive been meaning to one day get clip studio or something but i havent had the chance to buy it and im also a little intimidated at the idea of having to readjust to a new program HAHA

i use a few different brushes!! it depends on what im drawing and what i feel like using at the time (i should probably plan them out more often, actually)

oil paint, g pen, fluffy watercolor, and round brush (wet) are all brushes that come with medibang!!! i know i made Another Marker myself, and im pretttttty sure i made the first marker one too? my favorites are round brush and g pen though!!! i tend to use fluffy watercolor more for colors rather than lineart

(i also keep correction at around 12, i would use it more since my hands arent the steadiest but i find high correction to be kinda confusing so i just keep it low)

the paper effect is smth i learned liiiike maybe two years ago ish? and i have simply KEPT doing it ever since HAHA i do wanna mess around with more textures cus i dont want to be too reliant on just one texture for my art but it IS very fun and i like it...

medibang has a feature that makes it REALLY easy to do!!

custom noise is my BEST friend. the sand, watercolor paper (specifically 2), and marker paper (specifically 2) are the ones i use most often!!!

i also will copy n paste color layers and lineart layer, add gaussian blur and do like 200 layer effects (i most often do this to lineart, then set it to hard light and somewhere between 30-60% opacity to mimic bleeding from ink!!). i DO often experiment w messing w colors wo layer effects cus its fun but sometimes its just more fun to use layer effects instead!!

medibang also has materials!!

i dont use them as often but i like this one :D ive used it on a handful of things

and just for fun!!! things look suuuper different without this stuff. like the thing i just posted used a LOT of this (to be honest its cus i really really didnt wanna do shading for it LOL but it still felt too flat and i feel like these effects are a nice middle ground- but i will still often use this stuff when i AM shading things)

sometimes i will also use similar custom noise textures but for different parts of the image!!! like in this one i had a waatercolor texture for the bg but a seperate one for the foreground

i DIIID a while back post a pic of kinger (its an older post on this acc- not old by most standards but it was during the first little while after i made this blog while i was still finding my footing w the characters) that used a bunch of different textures which i got from freestocktextures.com!! but i havent used them since. i keep thinking i should again

ANYWAY thats basically it!!!! i looove medibang theres a bunch of little things ive figured out abt using it over the yrs that im so fond of it. and THANK U again!!!!!! :']

[morriemonnie]

hihi asking on anonymous because I'm awkward and nervous and have a few questions or things 2 sayyy

1 : I LVOEBYOIR ART I rlly hope I dont come off as creepy 😭 I haven't gotten like, an "idol" or "fav artist" in like 2 years and your art is like one of the few reasons I still check tumblr!! The colours the lighting the anatomy its all really pretty and i eat it up like a starving Victorian boy,, keep doing what ur doing it's amazing!! Ik you get these messages a lot but your art really makes a positive impact on me when I see it and just genuinely keep doing what ur doing you brighten sm peoples day!!

2 : do you have any other platforms you post on aside from tumblr? Your stuffs rlly cool and id like to support you everywhere i can, dandys world or not!!!

3 : on the topic of "dandys world or not", what other fandoms do you like?? I'm REALLY curious to see what else you like or if you post stuff about them!! :3

4 : I know you take drawing requests, so im curious if you do other things similar like art trades, other fandom requests or any form of creative media swaps?

5 : do you have any specific colour pallets you use? Or do you just wing it? (plus!! Do you have any tips for using yellows and browns in lovecore outfits!! Ur amazing at it!!)

6 : speaking of lovecore outfits!! HOW do you get such good outfits!? Do you have any inspirations or idols yourself in fashion? Or does it just come to you as you draw?

7 : this is a RLLY weird question but do you animal code any of the toons? Like i know some people see astro as a moth and Shelly as a dinosaur or dandy as a bug, do you have any neat ones?

8 : how would someone go around commissioning you? I'm sadly not able to yet but I really Adore your artstyle and I'm hoping to do it as soon as I'm able to- I'm wondering what sorta stuff you look for or prefer in comms (like refs, details etc!!)

9 : are there any other ships or pairs (can be anything like platonic, romantic or rivals!!) you like that you don't talk about as much? If so, can we hear? :D

So sorry if this comes off as like, a lot- only answer if you're comfortable and I'm rlly sorry if i made you feel uneasy with any of these(/gen)!! Your art makes me inspired and passionate and i just rlly enjoy your stuff, thank you sm for reading have a great day !! ❤️❤️

WHOOF this is a super long ramble, will be putting this in a thread so only keep reading down if you wanna read 'em :9 !

AJHGFSDHE THANK YOUUU !! ☀️ thank you so much !! regardless of all the letters i've received; i'll NEVER ever get tired of receiving such lovely and adoring letters, they'll always make me so happy and giddy !! genuinely and i'll stop reminding that, thank you (again) so much for being so lovely ! 🌻

2. i do have other platforms! i have bluesky (though it's been a little inactive lately since i've been posting a lot more here!), tiktok (SOMETIMES post there, i'm not much too active and i rarely check in it ... also using it is scary ...), ao3 (does this count? it's mostly just my silly fanfics) and artfight ! (if you want to see my ocs >:9)

3. goodness gracious i have a lot of stuff i'm into LOL ... i'm a huge fan of RPGMaker games (OFF, IB, Yume Nikki, Hylics, Omori, Oneshot, etc... this also includes horror rpg games too >:9 Crooked Man, Your Turn To Die, Mad Father, etc...), object shows (BFDI/BFB, Love of S*n, One, etc...), pokemon (mainly gen 5, i really, REALLY love the subway twins from unova), vocaloid/utau (i should REALLY draw teto, i keep putting girlie back ...), sanrio + chiikawa (this one was so obvious i'mma be real LOL ... i love you usagi and pompompurin), musicals (WAITRESS AND LA LA LAND THEY'LL NEVER MAKE ME HATE YOU.), uhm ... a lot of other fandoms that i can't remember at the top of my head but they'll probably pop up again at some point !

4. at the moment, i would be up to do art trades ! but i'm currently only reserving it for mutuals and friends only, i don't think i can juggle with multiple requests and art trades at the same time ... !

5. I MAKE A LOT OF MY OWN COLOR PALETTES !! but if it's for full rendered pieces + other colored doodles, i usually just wing it >:9 prominent examples of specific color palettes are my star cast and cupid design !

(and here's a tip for you, use the yellows and browns as secondary! make pinks/reds the main color, using yellows and brows for accessories will REALLY make them pop out a lot more ... and if you aren't so sure about that; put your art in monochromatic and adjust the colors!)

(here's an example of what i meant ! they REALLY help a ton, so always check your art in monochromes to adjust the color values !)

6. it honestly comes to me as i design them ! i've always really enjoyed designing clothes, what helps me with getting some outfit ideas across is sticking to a specific theme; and then i'd account for the character's personality and background, like ... i'd think this character would wear sleeveless tops because they're sporty ! etc etc, if that makes sense :9

7. SORTA ... ? it doesn't show much, but i've always thought that tisha would be a dove and glisten a poodle ... but i haven't sketched/doodled out how they would look with those traits, i just think giving everyone tails is fun LOL

8. i always, ALWAYS ask for references, references are always so helpful to me ! while i can work with descriptions, i do have a bit of a hard time with it if i don't have any references ... so that's the only main thing that i'm looking for! poses, color palettes, etc. are a bonus to me >:9

9. god please. more flutter and cosmo interactions. i see these two as really good close friends, seeing their dialogues and everything; i love the image of cosmo and flutter conversing with each other with cosmo doing ASL ... like ohh my goodness ?? i'm endeared ?? these two are so LOVELY, i'm pretty much just projecting because i'm mildly deaf and use ASL a ton when i'm in loud crowds; so seeing these two just relying and 'talking' on each other when it's too loud is so, so sweet.

again, thank you so much for such a lovely letter !! this made me giddy and i'm always happy to answer a bunch of questions ! 🌻☀️

[jacenotjason]

Remember that Highschool Bully AU I was talking about? Well here’s what i wanna do:

Scraping the idea of Julie running a hate blog online, changing it! She’s head cheerleader lol! She pretends to be nice to the teachers and such, but to the other *students shes vile!! Shes like two different people depending on if a teacher is present.

Frank is also a suck up to the teachers. He’s the best student in every class, top in grades and everything!! >:D! He’s the president of the photography club, which gives him an excuse to carry a camera everywhere. He uses it to snap embarrassing photos of people and get them into the newspaper, speaking of!

Eddie runs the newspaper club! He also pretends to be a sweetheart the teachers, but also posts the embarrassing photos of people in the paper and rumors n such >:3c he and Frank work together to make ppls life miserable, couple goals

Sally is the president of the Drama club! She’s incredibly authoritative and has an absolute power trip every day in the club. If she doesnt like you, you’re not getting a good role. If you have a good role, cherish it! The second you say something against Sally or any of her friends, shes recasting you. She regularly gives people embarrassing and unnecessary roles just to humiliate them. Like a tree or… grass lmao

Howdy is the mythic bitch here, the scariest guy >:D he’s the tallest strongest guy yknow, a jock! Star player! Bc yknow.. 8 feet tall and 4 arms. Bc hes so big and scary n such he regularly steals from ppl and they cant really do anything about it. He jsut picks people up and throws them, grabs backpacks and kicks people out of them, throws ppl in trash cans and locks them in like everything. Hes mean as fuck.

Barnaby is also on the.. sports team.. but hes not as good as Howdy. Hes a jokester but his jokes are always at the expense of others and normally goes too far. He doenst shake ppl up as much as Howdy does, but he watches and laughs, and Frank records sometimes

Remember when I said I scrapped Julies hate blog? I actually gave it to Poppy! She’s too shy to be mean in real life, and instead hides behind a screen. Her blog is called “Ann Onumouys” (pronounced anonymous lol). Pretty much everyone knows its her, but the teachers turn a blind eye… >.>

Now.. Wally. Wally is pretty much the same lil guy :3 he still hangs out with them all, and theyre all genuinely friends! Hes like their little nice mascot! He doesnt understand that they bully ppl- hes also the reason they dont get in trouble.

Home is the principal and also Wallys guardian! Home is fully aware that Wallys friends bully others, but he will not expel or suspend or anything, bc his friends keep him calm and happy. So he just.. turns a blind eye so that they continue to make Wally happy.

I think thats all I got! I might draw this after work :3

[cleaverqueer]

Hey there! I really love all your patch stuff (not sure what its actually called😅) and recently ive started thinking about getting into making things like that. Do you have any tips for someone with absolutely no experience with this sort of thing? Thanks a lot :)

Thank you! :D My style is called punk! The kinda like, subsection that i subscribe to is clutterpunk (or at least thats what i call it XP) Punk has a lot of focus on DIY fashion, so its affordable and its supposed to look haphazard and ripped up and badass! :DDD

N yeah i can totally give you some tips for getting started! First off, punk is more than just a fashion, and researching the other two components, the music and politics, is a good way to get an idea of what kinda punk you wanna be! some good punky blogs id recommend are @x-brik-x @safety-pin-punk @cripple-punk-dad @get-punked @punkrockhistory @days-n-daze @affordablepunk and @polyamorouspunk ! These people post a lot about classic punk looks, some recommend music, and most talk about common values of punks.

If you wanna get started on making something punk to wear while you do, thats cool too! once you know what punks look like, you can look up tutorials for anything you want to wear! Painting patches, sewing, altering clothes, ripping your jeans, making spikes and spikes, applying them, making jewelry, anything you see other punks do that you like, you can try yourself! And if it doesnt come out perfect, thats ok because thats the point of DIY, its not supposed to be perfect!

My advice for making patched up clothes are mostly USE A THIMBLE OF SOME KIND WHEN SEWING THROUGH THICK CLOTH especially if you dont sew much, dental floss is wayyyyy better for sewing than you might think, and cheap as hell too, and use straight pins to hold your patches in place while you sew them. oh, and thrifting is a great way to get sturdy older jackets, which is ideal for patching because the thin crap they sell now adays will get threadbare and tear SUPER easy

oof that was longer than i thought it would be, but if theres anything specific youre struggling with, or wanted tips for, feel free to send more asks :)

[skwhluvr]

kim taerae as your boyfriend | headcanons

❀ paring: kim taerae x gn!reader 

❀ warnings; pure fluff, i call him a loser bf, lowercase, kind of proof read. i think thats it ?!

❀ a/n : this is my first time posting 😓 bit scared. apologize for any grammatical errors. exams are around the corner and i do this instead of studying. lowkey a self insert?? but enjoy it !! 🤍++ was listening to double take by dhruv writing this. sets the mood well !

taerae your cutie pookie boyfriend ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚

he’s a math major or something close to mathematics, something like engineering.

actually I see him do economics (maybe because i wanna do it)

minor in psychology just because I said so. because of his curiosity, though he might drop it later realizing it's not for him

bf!taerae will remember to bring you either a snack or coffee or a drink to help you get through your morning because let's be real most of arent really a morning person

he would be gamer bf too. so sometimes you might find yourself competing for his attention with a game. not to worry tho he would cuddle with you and give you unlimited amount of kisses!! :D

he would love to have study dates !! it doesn’t matter what you’re studying. he will make sure to at least have one date where you but just study.

gives him a chance to admire your focused look and snap some cute pictures, which he can look back and smile giggle at loser bf taerae all the way ☝️

I see him sending you good luck texts before exams. reminders on to eat or get enough sleep.

he would leave some kinda snack or nuts on your table while you study for your exams. because thats something your mom did for you all the time. #asiancoded

he would wait for you after your exam and give you a hug the moment you see him saying you did well. you do the same for him. 

if your exams clash y’all meet up later on the day and discuss about how the exam went and do some kinda stress relieving activity like watching a movie or "attempt" (keyword attempt) bake something 

on the last exam you have he would surely be waiting for you with some kinda sweet or drink that you love with a cute note saying you did well !

HE IS SO AFFECTIONATE YOU FEEL LIKE YOURE NEXT TO A PUPPY !!! <33 ALSO SOMETIMES HES SO ADORABLE YOU HIDE THE URGE TO EAT HIM ‼️🤍🤍

he would welcome you everyday like he hasn't seen you for ages (even if it's just been 10 mins).

i feel like his love language is quality time and act of service with with a sprinkle of physical touch !

when you're with his friends, he'll naturally have his arms around you. not in a possessive way, rather because its comfortable. his friends loved you and prefers you over him. dont tell him that tho 

playful fights with junhyeon on who should get more affection. honestly youre a junrae in secret but taerae doesn't need to know that. youre so happy that he has someone he can be that close with !!

what else from zb1 i feel like you will be close with matt , ricky and gyuvin maybe gunwook too? the moment you see yujin you'll adopted him without a second thought you'd even fight the zb1 boy's for his custody.

guitar classes everyday ! it’s sometimes educational, other times he'll play your favorite songs for you. he just loves to flex his guitar skills.

you enjoy it as much because you see his cute smile, more bonding time and you also get to take cute picture of him or videos. 

this is so domestic im feeling single.

he would send you a random cafe or restaurant he sees, suggesting to go there and try to it. later on both of you will rate the food, the service and the aesthetics and decide if it’s worth to go again.

 he would have some thing you've given him or a remind of you in his car or wallet or phone so there is piece you with him always <\3

in conclusion i want a bf like taerae <\3

[swiftfootedachilles]

you wanted more asks, so I'm here to deliver!

-favorite gallavich canon scenes?

-what are some favorite headcanons for them that you have? missing scenes, what ifs, etc.

-favorite characters besides gallavich?

-storyline you would have liked to seen/favorite storyline that the show did well?

-favorite fic tropes that make you just go fuckin feral?

-five things you think needed to be fixed/changed/improved about the show? gallavich related or just in general, dealer's choice

😘😘😘

rubbing my greasy paws together getting ready to type out an essay

ummmm uh okay lemme think.... the s1 juvie scene (CLASSIC!!!), all their scenes working at the kash n grab together, mickey finding ian and taking him home, club kiss, like all of South Side Rules pre-sammi fucking everything up, dock scene, literally all of their s7 scenes tbh, prison reunion scene, "I WANNA BE WITH YOU" "you dont get to be," mickey wasting his break getting noodles in the food court for ian instead of making ian get his own lunch, fiance shenanigans, "i only make toast for husbands with jobs," STEALING THE AMBULANCE AND MICKEY GETTING SO TURNED ON THEY IMMEDIATELY HAVE TO FUCK AND MICKEYS KNEES BUCKLES WHEN IAN PUSHES HIM AGAINST THE AMBULANCE, coworker husband shenanigans, "youre such a fucking barbarian" "thank you☺️," being SOOOO cute at their anniversary party together. so honestly all of their scenes

i love all the deleted scenes i literally need the show editors to go to prison for what theyve done. i especially love the original scripts for the s5 deleted sex scene/ians dream and their s5 breakup. favorite headcanons are autistic!mickey, casual D/s dynamics, not-so-casual D/s dynamics, 🏳️‍⚧️trans gallavich🏳️‍⚧️, hobby artist!mickey, ian becoming the new vee of their neighborhood (ghetto nurse!ian), annoyingly clingy codependent!gallavich being gross in front of everyone, s6 canon divergence where mickey doesn't go to prison bc wtaf was that, s5 canon divergence with no breakup bc that literally made no sense

ummm i love liam hes the true golden child. mandy. uh ethel i would've LOVED to see more of, and the other milkovich siblings. sheila. karen was a REALLY complex character that never really got more than surface-level analysis from the show writers. debbie and her journey as a child obviously struggling with bpd. i do like carl turning his life around and kinda fulfilling many of the dreams ian had growing up. i kinda wish they did more with kev than just "haha kentucky appalachian guy is stupid" like that whole family reunion arc of his was so fucking weird and honestly embarrassing of the writers. also we..... never really learn about vee's family? theres a whole episode dedicated to meeting kevs stereotypical family, and vee gets.....becoming a believer in the american voting system??? and of course svetlana. missed opportunity after missed opportunity with her character - but hey at least they didnt kill her off like isidora wanted⁉️⁉️🥴

really really wish the writers gave a fuck about showing ian coming to terms with his trauma of being groomed and abused. he never learns that what he experienced was abuse. i feel like if caleb can call mickey abusive, then surely ian wouldve mentioned something about literally any other relationship hes had and caleb or trevor wouldve been neen like "uhhh you should see a therapist about that thats really super fucked up that you were victimized like that as a CHILD"

ohhhh the fic tropes. my #1 is always bdsm i am a bdsm gallavich truther until i DIE!!!! um i like canon divergence fics (sometimes). domestic fics. post-s11 married life. learning to grow together as a couple after being off-and-on for like a decade, autistic!mickey!!!! trans!mickey and t4t gallavich!!!! aus where ian and mickey are actually dating starting s1-3 and are out to the gallagher/mandy. uncle!gallavich shenanigans. taking liam on adventures shenanigans

OK SO. FIRST AND FOREMOST I WOULD FIX THE FUCKED UP JUDICIAL SYSTEM IN SHAMELESS fionas/mickeys/ians court shit was so fucking unrealistic and BAD. how the FUCK did fiona get like 60 days in jail + house arrest for possession of a schedule ii drug and attempted manslaughter AND STILL KEPT CUSTODY OF THE KIDS.

literally what the FUCK did mickey get charged with. did he plea? what the fuck kind of plea is 16 years when the person you assaulted ALSO ASSAULTED YOU and is also a COMPLETELY unreliable witness/victim. youre telling me he wouldnt take his chances in court? as if debbie wouldnt be the perfect witness to prove his INNOCENCE? and bianca was dead and frank wouldnt even give half a fuck to testify to seeing mickey lock sammi in the trailer. literally no proof that ever happened. no proof he drugged sammi because it was FAR too late to test her blood and see how much of each drug she had in her system. just her testimony that she drank soda then fell asleep lmao. any defense lawyer would have an easy time getting him acquitted entirely, at most getting a refusal to comply with officers and disturbing the peace for running from sammi and then trying to kick her when the cops showed up to arrest them

literally what the fuck is ians trial. HE PLEADS NOT GUILTY BY REASON OF INSANITY (WHICH NO LAWYER WOULD EVER DO BECAUSE OFC HE WOULD BE FOUND GUILTY WHEN HE CHOSE TO STOP TAKING HIS MEDS) AND IS FOUND GUILTY. OF ARSON. A CLASS X FELONY IN ILLINOIS. IN THE COMMISSION OF ANOTHER FELONY (KIDNAPPING.) AND HE GETS LIKE 2 YEARS IN PRISON YOUVE GOTTA BE FUCKING KIDDING ME. he could have gotten LIFE for that shit in the real world. i hate this shows pisspoor attempt at a legal system SOOOOO BAD. i stand by my belief that it wouldve made much more sense if he pled guilty and got put in the Chicago-Read Mental Health Center for mentally ill offenders. like he literally thought he was the gay Messiah what do you mean hes in a regular prison. plus it would've been much more interesting to see mickey in this environment - IF everything up to s9 was kept canon. otherwise he would only be able to visit ian like in s5, unless he found a way to get himself committed ?? idk it just makes much more sense than ian in regular prison

the attendees of their wedding. who the hell were those people. people from ians club ing days?? trevors friends???? i mean maybe. i assume sandy just went to every gay bar and passed out flyers saying there was a big gay wedding. it would've made much more sense if mickeys siblings were there especially mandy but what the hell ever. it's not like iggy literally has multiple scenes where he's supportive of mickey being gay and dating ian. WHATEVER. IT'S NOT LIKE THE GAY JESUS FOLLOWERS SHOULDNT HAVE EVEN BEEN THERE AT ALL SINCE THEYRE SHOWN LITERALLY ABANDONING IAN AFTER HIS ARREST AND IT WOULDVE MADE MORE SENSE FOR THE MILKOVICH BROTHERS TO BE OUTSIDE TO KEEP TERRY OUT. FUCKING WHATEVER I GUESS!!!

throw away the shitty homophobic gay man writer and let those 2 bi ladies write s11 gallavich. they were the only ones who wrote decent storylines. fr that gay guy needed to be fired SO BAD i can't believe he wrote the dumbass "who's the wife/bottom/submissive of our relationship" 11x3 plot AND the 11x7 orgy. HE SUCKS SO BADDD??? get rid of that stupid shit. give me more of ian and mickey in the growing pains of their relationship looking for jobs and dealing with the death of terry and trying to find common ground of their plans for the future and mickey being stubborn and scared without being "accidentally" an egregious stereotype of autistic people. LET HIM STIM AND GO NONVERBAL AND LET IAN LEARN TO GIVE MICKEY HIS SPACE WHEN HE'S OVERWHELMED GOOD LORD