#and how she softly smiles thinking about a future she'll never have

[leftoverenvy]

"Children of the Dark" - Criminal Minds, Season 3 Episode 4

[stylesluxx]

wildflower – a.hotchner

[warnings: self doubt, relationship doubt, angst]

summary: in which y/n doubts her spot in hotch’s heart – inspired by wildflower by billie eilish

word count: 825

main masterlist

You've always known that Aaron had a love before you. It's impossible not to—Haley was a part of his life through so many milestones for many years. He's never talked about her in-depth, but the memories surround him, a lingering presence that never quite fades. Some days, you catch the look in his eyes, far away, like he's somewhere else entirely. And every time it happens, you can't help but wonder if it's Haley he's thinking of.

It's been a couple of years since her death, and though Aaron has moved forward, there's a part of him that you fear might still be anchored to the past. That maybe, you're not enough to replace what he lost. You've tried to ignore it, tried to convince yourself that your worries are unfounded, but the thought lingers.

Tonight, it's especially strong. You're sitting on the couch with Aaron, his hand resting on your knee as you watch a movie together. But his mind isn't here. You can tell by the way his gaze flickers, unfocused, staring at the screen but not really seeing it. It happens more often than you'd like to admit, and each time it sends a twinge of insecurity through you.

"Where are you?" you ask softly, trying to keep your voice light. He looks at you, startled as if he didn't realize you were speaking.

"I'm here," he says, offering you a small smile that doesn't quite reach his eyes.

But you're not convinced. You've been holding this in for so long, pretending that everything's fine, but tonight, you can't help yourself. The words spill out before you can stop them.

"Are you, though? Because sometimes it feels like...like you're somewhere else. Like you're still thinking about her."

Aaron's expression shifts, his smile fading as he turns to face you fully. He opens his mouth to speak, but you can't stop now. The floodgates are open.

"I get it, Aaron. I know how much she meant to you, how much you loved her. But sometimes I wonder if you still...if you still love her. And I know that's unfair of me, because how could you not? She was your wife, the mother of your child, and she was taken from you in such a horrible way. But where does that leave me? Am I just here to fill a void?"

He's silent, his brows furrowing as he processes your words. The air between you feels heavy, thick with the weight of what you've just admitted. You hate yourself for saying it, for pushing him when you know how much he's been through, but the fear has been gnawing at you for so long, that you couldn't hold it in anymore.

Finally, Aaron speaks, his voice low but steady. "You're not filling a void."

You look at him, surprised by the conviction in his tone. He leans forward, his hand tightening around yours.

"I'll always care about Haley. She'll always be a part of me because she's part of Jack's life. But I'm not in love with her anymore. I haven't been for a long time, even before she died."

His words make your heart stutter. "You haven't?"

"No," he says softly, his thumb brushing against your hand. "When I met you, I didn't know I was ready to love someone again. But you've given me something I didn't think I'd ever have. You gave me hope, and you've made me feel alive again. I don't look back at what I had with Haley and wish it were still here. I look forward with you."

Tears prick your eyes at his words, the weight of your insecurity beginning to lift. But still, there's a lingering doubt, one you're almost afraid to voice.

"But do you...do you regret it? That you're with me now?"

Aaron shakes his head firmly. "Never. I'm with you because I want to be. After all, I love you. You're my future, not my past."

He cups your cheek, his touch gentle but grounding, and you lean into his palm, the warmth of his hand seeping into your skin. His gaze is soft, and earnest, as he brushes away the tear that slips down your cheek.

"I'm sorry if I've ever made you feel like you're second to Haley," he says, his voice thick with emotion. "That was never my intention. I love you. Only you."

You close your eyes, letting his words wash over you, their truth sinking in. You know he's being honest, that his heart is yours, but a part of you also knows that love doesn't erase the past. And maybe that's okay. Maybe love is about accepting that there will always be echoes of what came before, but choosing to move forward together, despite them.

When you open your eyes, Aaron is still watching you, waiting for you to say something. You reach up, covering his hand with yours as you press a kiss to his palm.

"I love you too," you whisper.

And for the first time in a long while, you believe that it's enough. You're enough.

[AN: I want to start posting multiple times a week but idk how I want to schedule that yet. maybe every 3 days? also I was supposed to post this days ago but forgot to queue it … AND AS YOU GUYS ARE READING THIS IM OMW TO MY SECOND ERAS TOUR SHOW HEHE. anyway, here's my taglist]

[whisperofwonder]

I Wouldn't Be Who I Am

Togata Mirio x reader (established relationship) - 2k words

Mirio seems perfectly fine with the fact that he has lost his quirk, not to mention everything else that's happened. All you want is to support him, but like this, you aren't sure how.

(includes a single spoiler for the bnha epilogue toward the end)

Tagging @dira333 because she has become my fellow Mirio enjoyer.

2 Days After

The nurse leads you down the hospital hallway. After what feels like an eternity, you're finally being allowed in to see Mirio. As the door swings open, you steel yourself. You can't imagine what he must be going through, between the losses of his quirk and of Sir Nighteye. You're prepared to grieve with him.

To your surprise, a beaming smile is on his face, even as you blink back the prickle of tears in your own eyes. His arms open, and in mere moments, you're across the room and launching yourself into them. He holds you tight, warm and solid and here. "I did it," He says, muffled into your neck, "I saved her."

"Yeah," You choke out as you pull back, tears welling in your eyes now. "You did it." You're looking at him with a watery smile, and he catches your face in his hands.

"Hey," He says more gently, swiping at a runaway tear with his thumb, "It's okay. I'm here." His eyes are still dry, and you feel silly for crying.

"I'm the one who should be comforting you," You protest with a weak laugh. He's always been an upbeat guy, contagiously cheerful, but you'd expected even him to break in a situation like this.

"I'm fine," He says, so matter-of-factly that you believe him. "I mean, of course saying goodbye to Sir was hard, but he wanted me to keep smiling. He believed in me, and in a better future for everyone. So I'm gonna help bring about the future that he envisioned." His smile is wide, warm, and as genuine as ever. The kind of smile you never could resist returning. It doesn't last long on your face, however.

"But, your quirk," You add, not sure how to bring it up more delicately. You don't understand how this isn't devastating to him. He's worked so hard to master his quirk and trained relentlessly to hone it, and now everything he's worked towards is gone.

"Yeah, but didn't you hear? As soon as Eri masters her quirk, she'll be able to give mine back. It's not like it's forever. This doesn't change anything." You bite your lip before you say anything, but you don't agree. To you, it almost seems like this changes everything. His overwhelming confidence is one of many things you love about him, but you can't help wondering at what point it becomes a crutch.

3 Weeks After

"Eri!" Mirio says brightly to the small girl half-hidden behind his leg, "I want you to meet someone really special." He gestures at you, and you smile, crouching down to her level.

"Hi, Eri," You say, introducing yourself. She's a sweet girl, you have to admit. She's here to spend the day at the festival, and when you aren't helping your class with their part in the festivities, you're looking forward to spending some time with her and Mirio.

"It's nice to meet you," She says shyly. "Lemillion said you're very nice and pretty." You glance up at your boyfriend with a quirked eyebrow, and he just shrugs and winks at you.

"Well, I didn't lie to you, did I, Eri?" Her brow crinkles for a few moments, puzzled, but then she slowly shakes her head no.

"Mirio," You scold him softly, giving his hand a squeeze. It hasn't been the same, not seeing him in school every day. His absence is a constant reminder that things are different now. Even today, he's here as Eri's escort, not a student.

If it affects him, being here while not being a part of it, he doesn't let it show. It must be for Eri's sake, you think. You know how deeply he feels about her, and how much she looks up to him and Midoriya. He spends the entire day with a smile on his face, laughing and joking and jovial as always. It should reassure you, but instead you feel as though you have to ache for him.

Even after Aizawa-sensei picks up Eri to take her back to the hospital, his mood doesn't falter. He reaches for your hand, tugging you close as he prepares to walk you back to your dorm. Above, stars are twinkling out one by one, and he's chattering away in your ear. "--And your class's performance was so great! I think Eri really loved it."

It's been building up all day, and you can't hold it in any longer. "How are you so happy all the time?" You blurt out.

"What?" He blinks at you, coming to a stop.

"I just-" Tears are welling in your eyes, and it's so stupid. "You lost your quirk, Mirio. Everything you've been working so hard for, and it's just gone! And Sir Nighteye - I know how much you admired him, how much he meant to you. And yet I haven't even heard you say a word about him." You swipe roughly at the tears that are starting to stream down your face, and Mirio chases after a few with the backs of his fingers.

The expression on his face is dead serious now. "Where is this coming from?" He asks levelly.

"I - I don't know," You wave your hands helplessly. "I just - I don't want you to bottle it all up inside and pretend it's all okay. I want you to - to feel everything you've lost. Because it's okay to do that." You pause your rambling long enough to sniffle grossly through your tears. "I was prepared to grieve with you," You finally say quietly, "But I guess I wasn't prepared for this."

To your surprise, he draws you into his arms rather than saying anything, holding you tight against him. Your arms slide around his middle, and you're both silent. After a few moments, you feel his shoulders begin to shake.

"I'm sorry," He squeezes out.

"Don't apologize," You say thickly, finally pulling back to see the tears streaming down his face. "I - I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said anything." You cup his face in your hands, brushing away as many tears as you can with your thumbs. "I wasn't trying to make you cry," You force out a wet laugh.

"I know." He shakes his head. "I think about him every day," He says hoarsely, "Sir. If anything I could have done would have changed things. I know he'd tell me not to, but I can't help it." He shrugs, and you catch another tear with your fingers. "I wake up in the morning, all ready to get some training in, and I remember. You'd think I'd be used to it by now, but it always hits me like a ton of bricks."

You nod silently, sliding your hands down his arms and wrapping them around his fingeres. "And I keep smiling anyway, because Sir told me to. Because Eri needs me to. Because I don't want to burden you or anyone else with my pain."

"Your pain is not a burden," You say quickly. "I want to share it with you. Make it less, if I can. Or just hold you, if it will help." You give his hands a squeeze. "I don't want you to feel like you have to go through this alone."

"Thank you." He says more quietly, leaning in to rest his forehead against yours for a moment before pulling back again. "I love you. And, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you feel this way." He brings your clasped hands to his lips and presses a soft kiss to your knuckles. "But you know, I also keep smiling because it's who I am. I'm Lemillion. I smile. I like smiling." He huffs out a laugh and wipes away the last of his tears with his shoulder.

"I know," You say, managing a smile of your own. "And that's one of the many things I love about you."

3 Months After

There's a knock at your dorm door, and you put down your pen. "I'll be there in a minute!" You call, shuffling your papers into a neater stack before getting up.

"It's me," Mirio calls from the other side, "I've gotta go soon, but can I come in for a sec?"

"Sure, hold on!" You push your chair in, stretching your arms above your head to work out the kinks in your back. You've probably been sitting down a little too long anyway.

Before you even make it to the door, Mirio's face appears through it. Your hands fly to your face to stifle your startled shriek, then you shriek again when you realize exactly what's happening.

"Hey!" He grins, "Can ya actually let me in? I'm not wearing my suit, and I think I'd better keep my clothes on." Your hands are shaking as you fumble with the doorknob.

"Your quirk!" You say after you get the door open and he sweeps you up in his arms. "Eri? She did it?" You ask breathlessly. It's not that you'd ever doubted her, but somehow this moment had always felt so far away.

"Yup!" He's holding your hands, and all it takes is a tug to pull you into a kiss.

"I'm so happy," You breathe as he pulls away smile mirroring his.

"Me too," He laughs. "I just had to stop by." He pauses. "To say thank you."

"For what?" You shake your head, still trying to convince yourself that this is real.

"Cause you were with me. You helped me get here."

You shove his shoulder. "Stop it! I didn't have anything to do with this." You don't deserve any of the credit for the incredible resilience he's shown all these months, or for the miracle of Eri's quirk.

"You helped," He says firmly, "I only smiled as much as I did because you were there when I couldn't any more. You hurt with me when I needed it, and now I hope you'll keep on smiling with me." He presses one last kiss to your lips before pulling backwards. "And I really really do have to go. I just wanted you to know." He throws his hand up in a wave, "Bye! I love you!" And just like that, he's darting away.

"I love you too!" You shout after him, hoping he's not too far away to hear you. You keep smiling even long after he's out of sight.

8 Years After

You've always known this was inevitable. For as long as you've known Mirio, you didn't have to be Sir Nighteye to know that this was in his future. Still, when you get the news that it's finally official, you feel the tears come, even as you're dancing around alone in your kitchen.

The moment he gets through the door, you throw yourself at him. "Welcome home, number one," You say cheekily, wrapping your arms around his neck and pressing a long kiss to his lips before he can even respond.

"Oh?" He pulls back with a hum, "If I knew this was the kind of treatment I'd get as the number one hero, I would've gotten there a long time ago." He hefts you up in his arms and you let out a surprised squeak as he spins you around, laughing gleefully.

"I knew you would do it," You say after he finally sets you down, a little dizzy and still breathless from your laughter. "So did Sir Nighteye," You add more quietly.

"Yeah," he says softly, expression sobering. He absently rubs circles into your hips, silent for a few moments. "I think it's a big part of the reason I got here," He finally speaks up. "Losing my quirk. Sir taught me how important it is to smile, but I think I also needed to learn that it's okay not to, sometimes."

"So thank you," He goes on, smile breaking across his face again, "For letting me not smile." He pulls you into a more tender kiss. "But also for smiling with me, all these years." He adds against your lips, letting you feel your favorite smile pressed against your own.

[heizenka]

𝐫𝐞𝐝𝐞𝐦𝐩𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐢𝐧 𝐛𝐞𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐲𝐚𝐥

♖ Spencer Reid x f!reader

𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭

— content warnings: semi-angst, mention of murder

— word count: 630

The crisp autumn air hung heavy over Quantico as Spencer Reid stood outside the familiar gates of the BAU headquarters. It had been months since he had left, seeking solace in books after a particularly harrowing case. Yet, the past always had a way of catching up, especially when it involved someone he once trusted with his life.

The call from his former boss, Emily Prentiss, had been unexpected yet urgent. Reid hesitated briefly before stepping through the doors, his mind racing with questions about the case and the person at its center: you, his former partner.

Inside, the bullpen buzzed with activity, but the tension was palpable. All eyes turned to Reid as he made his way to Prentiss' office. She greeted him with a mix of relief and apprehension, knowing how delicate the situation was.

"Spencer," she began, her voice low. "I know you've moved on, but we need your help. Y/N... she's involved in something terrible."

Reid's heart sank. You had been his confidant, his equal in profiling, and once, his closest friend. you guys had shared late nights poring over case files and stolen glances that spoke volumes. But now, you'd been wanted for the murder of three of their colleagues.

"I can't believe it," Reid murmured, his mind already racing through possibilities. "What do we know?"

Prentiss slid a file across her desk, photos and evidence neatly arranged. "The evidence points to her, Spencer. But we need your insight. There's more to this than meets the eye."

Reid flipped through the file, his analytical mind piecing together the puzzle. Memories of you flashed before him — your laughter, your dedication to justice, and the way you had pushed each other to be better profilers. Could you really have turned?

Days turned into nights as Reid poured over the details, his dedication to the case unwavering. Every clue, every profile pointed back to her, yet something nagged at him, a feeling he couldn't shake. The pieces didn't fit neatly, and Reid knew there was more at play than the surface suggested.

Then, a breakthrough came in the dead of night. Reid rushed to Prentiss' office, excitement and trepidation mingling in his voice. "I think I know where she'll strike next," he said, laying out his theory with the precision only he could muster.

Together, they set a trap, hoping against hope that you would show your hand. The hours ticked by, tension thick in the air until finally, you appeared. Y/N stood in the doorway, eyes meeting Reid's with a mix of sorrow and defiance.

"I didn't do it, Spencer," your voice whispered, voice cracking. "You have to believe me."

Reid hesitated, torn between his training and his heart. He saw the desperation in her eyes, the plea for understanding. Slowly, he nodded, trusting the instincts that had never steered him wrong.

As the truth unraveled, they uncovered a conspiracy that went deeper than anyone had imagined. You had been framed by someone within the bureau, a betrayal that shook Spencer to his core. In the aftermath, as your name was cleared of all charges, he found himself standing at your side once more. The weight of the shared ordeal hung between you both, but so did an unspoken hope for the future.

"I never stopped believing in you," Spencer admitted quietly, his gaze steady on yours.

You smiled softly, a flicker of something more in shown in your eyes. "Thank you for coming back, Spencer. For trusting me."

And in that moment, as the shadows of doubt gave way to the light of truth, Reid knew that some bonds couldn't be broken. Love, loyalty, and the pursuit of justice had brought you both full circle, stronger together than you had ever been apart.

copyright 2021 heizenka, all rights reserved. I do not allow my creations to be published of translated anywhere else so please do not repost.

[jillsandwhichs]

Our Future Days

Joel Miller x Reader series, Chapter 10, Convincing

Masterlist

Pairing: F!Reader x Joel Miller

Summary: Joel lets you stay at his house for the night. The next morning, he convinces Maria to let you have a place in Jackson

WC: 4.2k

Type: SFW

A/n: Hi! Hope you all enjoy. Please check out my masterlist, there's a lot of stuff there. You can get to know me, you can see the rules of my blog and then you can see all of my fanfictions. You'll be able to find the previous chapters to this fic and upcoming ones. You'll also be able to find my Wattpad & AO3. Comments, reblogs & likes are appreciated. Thank you

Entering back into Joel's home, you removed your jacket and he took it from you, hanging it up on the post in the hallway. His house felt warm, as if it were heated and still standing as though this outbreak never happened. It's very impressive how the people of Jackson have come together and worked their asses off to make this place feel like a real and progressive town-which it basically is.

It's much later in the day now. You and Joel grabbed a bite together and walked around the town, simply discussing life and how crazy it's been for the two of you. It felt really good. You got so much off of your chest and you could tell he did as well. Joel was never one to open up according to Tommy but here he is, doing just that with you. You have a feeling it's because of Ellie. That young girl really must've done a number on him and you're grateful for that.

Joel turned around as the two of you entered his kitchen, he was now facing you and leaning against the counter. You took a seat at one of the chairs aligned with the counter. "Would you like some tea? I got some through a trade the other day." "Sure, sounds nice, thank you." Joel gave you a nod and began to prepare a cup for you and for him. As he did that, you decided to ask him a question you've been (In all honesty) avoiding.

"Can I ask you something possibly sensitive?" Joel didn't reply immediately but breathed in deeply and nodded. "Ask me anything darlin'." Goodness it felt good to hear him call you such a name. It felt heart warming. "You don't have to answer, it's just that I've been analyzing the way you talk of her and I'm curious... Do you see Sarah in Ellie? Is that why you've grown to be so attached to the kid?" You hope your question isn't too far.

You watched as Joel set two tea bags in the hot mugs and chuckled. He didn't find your question to be insensitive but rather inquisitive. "I do, admittedly. They both have that hipster side to them along with their similar humor and love for certain things-like dinosaurs and being active. Warms my heart knowin' that Sarah and Ellie woulda been close friends." That warms your heart up too.

You gave him a sincere smile and nodded, completely understanding where he is coming from. "That's a really positive way of looking at it. I'm glad you met Ellie, she seems like a catch from what you've been telling me." "She sure is, she's funny and has a lotta spunk to her. Scares me sometimes knowing that as she gets older, she'll be a sassy one." You laughed. "Oh, I bet. All girls go through their sassy, edgy phase. I sure did and so did my sister Hannah."

Thinking about Hannah upsets you. You can't believe you just randomly brought her up. You miss her so much. Where could she possibly be? If you have to think realistically, she's dead and she has been for a long time. You haven't heard anything about her and it's worrisome. At the same time though, she could be alive. Maybe she escaped and found a group or has lived on her own just as you have. There are many possibilities as to where she could be and that gives you hope, even if it isn't a lot of it.

Joel tilted his head at you and had slightly pouted lips. "What's on your mind?" Joel questioned you and dipped the tea bags around in the cups. You sighed softly and said it plainly. "I just hate talking about my sister, that's all. I miss her, my parents too." Joel nodded. Oh, he very much understands. Loss ought to be his middle name. "Trust me, I understand. Not havin' Sarah around and thinkin' about those I've lost kills me on the inside. It's just best to try and not think too much 'bout it." He's right.

The sound of thunder was heard throughout the house and you quickly looked out the window. It must've started raining only seconds ago because it wasn't whilst you and Joel were out. Rain in November isn't that common, especially somewhere such as Wyoming. Joel breathed in deeply and blew out quietly. "Rain. That's good for us." He stated with a hushed down as he glanced back down at the mugs with lemon flavored tea inside of them.

"Tea is almost done, if you want, we can drink it out in the livin' room." "Fine by me." You stood up and grabbed the mug he got out for you. His had an owl engraved into it, it appeared homemade and it actually looked good. You followed behind him and sat down beside him on the cozy, comfy couch. You gazed out the window in front of you. It's dark outside, but some of the houses and establishments light up the roads that are visible in the view. It's also evident that stars are out considering you are able to see a few just from where you are sitting.

Joel grunted as he kicked his boots off and sipped his citrusy tea. You did the same and you were surprised by the fresh and vibrant taste of the drink. It tastes as though it came out of a brand new package. It's delicious. Joel glanced at you and smiled. You noticed and a faint blush was caught on your cheeks but you tried your best to play it off as if you hadn't noticed, despite you clearly noticing. "Shit, sorry." Joel snickered and looked down, focusing on his tea. You giggled. "Don't apologize."

You just feel... Gosh... Words cannot describe how you feel. This is all so new and you honestly feel more alive, more alive than you ever have. Being with Joel feels just as it did twenty years ago. He's still the same man you fell in love with. You're unsure if whether or not those feelings remain as they did then but either way, you're glad to be with him again. Plus, with all this time you have, you'll be able to figure out how you truly feel for him.

"You can stay here tonight, by the way." Joel said out of no where and somehow so casually. You turned your head to look at him. He seemed a little too normal about all of this. Did he just expect you to believe that he'd say that? Funny, because you didn't. You thought you'd have to sleep outside as always or in a guest house of sorts. "Are you sure? I don't mind leaving Jackson for the night, I can always come back tomorrow." "Quit that, this couch pulls out, you can use it for the night 'til we figure out what's goin' on tomorrow."

How sweet and thoughtful of him. That will be nice. You can't even recall the last time you slept on a real bed. Maybe back in Maine once or twice, but you've been either on the ground or in a cheap, torn up sleeping back ever since this fuckery of an apocalypse arupted. "Thanks Joel, that's kind of you. I appreciate that." "Anytime sugar." Joel murmured before sipping the last bit of his tea. Sugar? That's a new one. He's so damn Southern.

"I'll be right back, I gotta change, then I'll get ya set up for bed. Sound good?" "Take your time." You said with a friendly smile. Joel gave you a nod and trailed off to the upstairs part of his home to where you assume is his bedroom. You are all alone now, alone with your thoughts. You don't even know what to think. This is honestly a dream come true. You're with Joel after all these years and it feels as if the world has stopped and it's only you and him. You wish it were truly that way.

In a way, you feel like no time has passed. Your guy's relationship has stayed the same. He still treats you as he did all those years ago and God, it feels amazing. You didn't expect this, no, not one bit. You thought there was a chance he'd forget you or simply want nothing to do with you. You're glad those pestering & reoccurring thoughts were incorrect. Being with Joel again, especially like this, is such a blessing.

You stood up off of the couch and set your glass of tea down. It was almost gone and you'd be sure not to waste it. You aren't hungry nor very thirsty so you're able to savour it. Joel got you and him some early dinner earlier. The two of you had steak sandwiches and God, having real food was heavenly. It tasted golden. You hope soon enough you can have another real meal such as that one.

You heard the sound of stairs creaking and groaning as Joel stumbled down them. You looked down, noticing he had no shirt on. He was wearing plaid red pants that were quite baggy on him. These must be his night wear. In his hand, he was holding a water colored green shirt that looked as if it'd be huge on you. Funny enough, he brought it down for you. "Figured you might wanna sleep in somethin' that's actually comfortable. Fine with this?" He asked you. You nodded.

Joel tossed you the shirt and crossed his arms. "You can go change in the bathroom just over there, I'll get the bed out for ya." "Ok. Thank you, Joel." You leered and jogged over to the wooden, western door he pointed towards. You opened it and closed it behind you and as you did, you pressed your forehead against it. This is insane. It's almost too much. His shirt and now he's making your bed? You feel weird but in a good way. You feel adrenaline and pure excitement and it's coursing through you madly.

You stripped out of the gnarly clothes you've been wearing and threw on his T shirt which was big on you. It reminded you of when you were a little girl-your dad's shirts were your main sleeping wear. Your dad had so many and you remember loving the smell of them and just wanting to sleep in one every night. This is truly reminiscent of those times. You weren't wearing any pants, not that it mattered anyways considering the shirt goes down to your upper thighs. His T shirt and panties it is.

Exiting the bathroom, you left the door open just a bit before trotting back to the living room in which you'd be resting in for the night. Joel looked over at you and smirked but evidently attempted to hide it. "I uh, made your bed." Joel cleared his throat and stepped away. It looks very warm. There's a singular pillow with a sheet covering the not so thick mattress but it's way better than the hard ground. As for a blanket, there's a fluffy black one coating half of the bed that'll surely engulf your body whilst you sleep.

"Thank you Joel, truly. You didn't have to do any of this, I hope you know that." "I do... To be honest with ya, it's my guilty conscience and the fact I care so damn much about you." He spoke with console as he sat on the edge of the mattress. You slowly stepped over to him and took a seat right beside him. You got a whiff of his masculine scent and it made your body stiffen for a moment. The musk of this man will forever get you intoxicated.

You bit your lower lip before ultimately figuring out what to say to him. "I care about you too, a lot. I appreciate your hospitality." You smiled at him. Joel nodded and took your hand in his. The size difference was humorous even. You sighed softly as his thumb caressed your palm. "I hope you know darlin', I have always felt guilty for how I left you back in Texas." Oh. He does now? "I coulda taken you with us but I was so fuckin' worried about Sarah and my head wasn't thinkin' clearly that night... I am sorry."

You truly never cared about that because you understand. Sarah is Joel's daughter, she comes first and it was only logical to get her to safety and worry for her above anyone else, even Tommy. In reality, it did hurt you. You wish you could've stuck with him but then again, you've learned so much from being on your own and honestly, you wouldn't change how your experience has been for anyone or anything-it has been an eye opener like no other.

"Oh Joel," You spoke with solum. "I truly never held that against you, okay? I understand from the moment it happened. Sarah comes first always, okay? Even now that she's gone, she's still first." You stated. You heard Joel have a shaky breath before easing it. "You've always been empathetic." He chuckled and stood up, your hand slipping out of it. Your head went upwards to look at him. You could tell he was becoming emotional but trying hard to supress it.

Joel gandered down at you then back at the bed. "How 'bout you try and get some sleep, hmm?" Joel muttered, yawning himself which caused you to yawn too. You giggled and nodded. "Guess I should." You agreed. Joel looked outside the large paneled living room windows and saw it's still raining out. "At least it won't be completely silent." He whispered. Yeah, that's good. You hate utter silence when you're trying to sleep.

"I'll see you in the mornin', yeah?" Joel said quietly. "Sure thing." "Goodnight." "Night Joel." You waved and he gave you a soft, genuine smile before treading up the staircase to go to bed himself.

You climbed up onto the couch bed and rested your head against the puffy pillow. Your neck instantly relaxed and your back seemingly rejoiced in the feeling of comfort. You sighed softly and nestled into the position you felt the most warmth and joy in. Having an actual bed feels exotic, especially nowadays. The people of Jackson are lucky. To have a literal house plus a bed with a comforter set is a luxury during these times.

Your eyes were heavy and you could hardly keep them open. As you started to drift off into a slumber, the only thing that clouded your mind was Joel and the past day the two of you have had together.

-

The next morning was peaceful. You had woken up before Joel and got dressed in the clothes you were wearing yesterday. You made sure to bundle up considering it rained last night and it is now most likely colder outside. You made that observation when noticing the trickling frost trailing down the large white windows centered in his living room.

For once, you slept good. The comfort of the pullout bed was refreshing and you really needed it. You even dreamt for once and that was surprising. The dream had Becker in it-oh how you miss the little guy. You miss his cuddles and how annoying it would get with his repeated barking. Despite the fact that traveling with a dog made living more difficult, you would've never left him behind and you put the feller before yourself. You miss him so much.

You were quite surprised Joel hadn't awakened yet. You've been on his porch for a good ten minutes or so and you've been up half an hour. Fresh air does you good. It is chilly out. Off in the distance you can see children playing near the grass patches, running around and screaming their lungs out. It's adorable. You haven't seen children much throughout the past two decades but it's nice when you do. It gives you hope.

You haven't seen Tommy or Maria since yesterday. Maria told you she is often busy but when she has the time off, Joel said he'll discuss getting you a spot here at Jackson. You feel like you're intruding in a way but Joel insists he at least tries. If Maria decides you can't stay, you completely understand. You'll most likely leave back to the city area and find a place there, despite it's dangers.

From behind you, you heard the sound of Joel's white, wooden door opening and he was standing there, tall as ever and his face presented exhaustion. You smiled and looked him up and down. Same pants he slept in but he must've thrown a shirt on before opening the front door. "Why are you out here? It's fuckin' cold." Joel chuckled and looked around outside, admiring the view of civilization. "You're right. I just needed some fresh air." You got off of the railing and entered his house.

Joel closed the door and took your jacket off, hanging it back up. "I'll try and get you some more clothes here soon. When Ellie and I officially started stayin' here, my brother hooked us up with some stuff so I'll make sure you do too." Joel stated as he plopped down onto his couch (You made sure to put the bed away). You sat down right beside him and exhaled with a quiver. "Okay then." You nodded. That was perfectly okay with you. New clothes would be great.

"How 'bout you go get some food up at one of them diners and I'll get around to talkin' with Maria?" You nodded. Sounds like a plan to you. "I can do that." You smiled and stood up. Joel nodded back at you and retied his boots and you glanced down at him. "Maria should be at her and Tommy's place, I'll talk with her there. I'll meet you back here in an hour or so, yeah?" "Okay." Joel stood up and smirked at you. "Go fill that belly and get back to me soon, alright?" "Alright." You chuckled.

-

You are sitting all alone. A wave of awkwardness and misplacement washes over you. You don't feel as though you fit in here. You know nobody yet. For food however, you managed to get some sort of stew. Not a lot considering you showed up to the diner later than usual but they managed to pull through and get you fed-which you are grateful for. Joel is probably at Maria's by now and you're hoping for a positive response from her.

If Maria sends you on your way, fair, they've helped you enough. It's just that it won't feel right. Seeing Joel after all of this time just to leave a day later feels out of place and simply wrong. You want to see him daily, just as you used to. Jackson seems to be a tight knit community though, so maybe there's a chance they'll accept you in as theirs. That's be lovely.

You took another bite of your stew. The flavours your tounge encaptured were carrot and beef so if you had to guess, it's a beef stew. It's delicious. You have a lot on your mind. Of course, Joel is the main thing. You can't stop thinking about him. This is all so surreal. Last night felt like a dream and when you woke up, you punched yourself and double-checked to make sure it was all real, and it is. You just feel so shocked, extremely shocked.

Overall though, you don't plan to hold your breath. If Maria says no, fine. If she says yes, that's amazing! You'll hope for the best but your doubts are high. For now, you just need to finish up your stew so you can make way back to Joel's place, which will hopefully be soon.

-

On your way back to Joel's house, you spotted both him and Maria ambling side by side with each other. The conversation the two of them were having appeared deep and honest. You have absolutely no intentions of interrupting considering they could be discussing your living situation, so you plan to just get inside of his house. You glanced out of the corner of your eye at Maria and she was eyeing you down. You then realized her and Joel were prowling up to his place.

You stood on the porch and leaned against the wooden railing as they stepped up it as well. "Hi Joel. Hey Maria." You said with a kind voice as they both looked at you. They're both taller than you, so you have to tilt your head in order to even maintain eye contact. "Let's get into Joel's place so we can talk a bit more comfortably, hm?" "Sure thing!" You followed Maria and Joel into his house. You closed the door behind you and Maria sat on Joel's couch beside him-you stayed standing up.

"I don't mind you residing here." Maria began with a gentle voice. "We have free houses available, quite a few actually." She went on. "Issue is however, you're one person and often, we have families flooding in, in need for a home and if one person is taking a house up, it's a bit much." Maria explained. That's understandable. An entire family deserves a home over you, that's just obvious. "Listen, with all due respect, we just can't let one person take up an entire home." Maria said quietly.

You get it. In a way, you knew this would happen. It hurts and it sucks, sure, but it's a valid reasoning on her end.

"If I knew someone who would be willing to let you house with them, I'd allow that but I can't think of any-" "Me." Joel interjected. You quickly turned your head to face him. House? With Joel? Really? This doesn't feel real, even more-so now. "Oh, that settles it then." Maria stood up with a smile. "Housing with Joel isn't half bad, if you can handle an old guy who can't do his own laundry!" Maria snickered. "Ha-ha." Joel said sarcastically and gazed down at you.

"Joel, I really don't mind leaving, it was great to see you and all but I don't want to be an intrusion." "Hun, you ain't an intrusion. I offered. Now, your job is to accept this offer." Joel crossed his arms. You laughed out a breathless laugh and glanced at Maria. She shrugged, she doesn't mind either way but so far, she'd prefer if you stayed. You seem like a great girl in her eyes and her eyes don't decieve. "I... Okay, I'll stay here then." "Perfect." Joel got off of the couch.

Maria clapped her hands together and nodded. "Officially settled. Welcome to Jackson." She said softly and put her hand on your shoulder. "I'll make sure to set up your patrol schedule and what primary job you'll be set to here soon, okay?" "Great." You nodded with happiness. Maria gleed and slowly stepped backwards. "I better get my husband, he's starving and I made him lunch. See you two around... Oh and, Joel told me you need some clothes, stop by my place later and I'll give ya some!" Maria finished up before leaving Joel's place to head over to Tommy.

You bit your lip and crossed your arms. You feel a bit nervous. It's finalized, you're living with Joel now. This feels like a dream and a nightmare combined. A dream because you'll be with Joel and you now have a place to call home but a nightmare because you're living with him. Yes, it's amazing and all but he'll see you in your most vulnerable moments and there's a saying that when you're with someone too much (Potentially someone you live with) resentment will grow. You don't want that.

Joel tilted his head and placed his fingers on your chin, tilting your head up which snapped you out of your daze. "Everything alright with you?" He asked you, seeming concerned. "Of course! I'm just a bit starstruck, that's all." "I understand. I hope me sayin' you could stay here was too much. I wasn't really thinkin' but I truly don't mind." Joel cleared the air and let go of your face. Your blush disappeared and you nodded. "That's okay, I was just a bit caught off guard but your offer has been accepted and I am grateful, really." "Good."

"Glad we figured things out then." Joel stated. "Me too, Joel." You gleamed and uncrossed your arms, your anxiety dissipating. "I'm gonna head up to my room for a bit, figure some things out. We'll get you set up later, alright?" "Alright." "Ok. If you need me, just knock on my door, yeah?" "Sure thing." You nodded and sat down on the couch. Joel then left to go to his room. You're assuming he's going to process all of this and rightfully so, it's very new.

Very, very new.

[separatist-apologist]

Still A Sunbeam

Summary: As a child, Elain Archeron is pushed into a pond by the heir to the Day Courts throne, Lucien Spell-Cleaver, and vows she'll never forgive him for it. But as an adult, Elain finds that if she wants out of an arranged marriage to a Spring Court prince, she will need Day Court's help. More is at stake than a decades-old rivalry, and when their home is threatened, Elain and Lucien will have to set aside old differences and work together

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Read on AO3

It was a dream and not a vision. She could wake herself up if she wanted—and Elain knew she ought to want that. Trapped in a room spun of gold and orange, her body pressed into a soft mattress by a hard, inviting body. Elain didn’t know which was worse—that it was Lucien Spell-Cleaver’s mouth on her neck, or that she was so unforgivably aroused that Elain didn’t pull herself back to consciousness. 

Lucien was merely a manifestation of her kiss with Killian, Elain rationalized. His mouth moved the same way Killian’s had, though dream Lucien had taken things a step further by grinding himself into her. Elain couldn’t pretend she hadn’t been interested in the bulge in Killian’s pants.

Everyone she knew had divested themselves of their virginity the first chance they got. 

Elain hadn’t, too afraid of disappointing her mother or her future husband. She’d held fast, a fact she immensely regretted now that she was cresting toward a familiar oblivion.

She might not have experience being with a male, but she understood what to do with her fingers well enough. Lucien was stimulating a similar experience with just his body, just his cock hidden beneath that white fabric draped over his hips. Elain ran her fingers through his hair and arched against him. She was going to come from just this alone. 

She needed to.

“Lucien,” she breathed, the name strange on her tongue. He swallowed the plea with a ragged groan and Elain…

Elain was awake. Bright light poured through her closed eyelids while her body throbbed from unmet need. She tried to get back to that place, just long enough for Lucien to finish what he’d started, even as discomfort filled her stomach.

She didn’t think she wanted Lucien to get her off. Opening her eyes, Elain jolted back to reality. Arina was in bed beside her, bleary eyed and uncharacteristically rumpled. Elain wouldn’t say they’d become friends the night before, though she liked to think they were close to it, given Elain had held Arina’s thick hair off her face as she’d thrown up that evening.

Arina glanced over, a smile tugging against her pallid face. “Lucien, huh?”

Elain groaned. “How did you know?”

Arina adopted a high pitched, breathy voice as she teased, “Oh Lucien, don’t stop—”

Elain shoved at her, embarrassed beyond measure. “It’s not like that.”

“It’s okay if it is. Everyone at court wants Lucien in their bed—”

“Including you?” Elain demanded without ire, sitting up to rub the back of her neck. Arina’s smile faltered just a little.

“No,” she disagreed. “Not me.”

“Are you going to tell me what last night was about?” Elain questioned. Arina stiffened, reminding her that they weren't really friends, no matter how much she wished for the opposite. 

“Are you going to tell me what happened with Killian?” Arina replied, thinking, perhaps, that Elain wouldn’t.

Helion had only demanded Lucien’s silence. It was risky—and yet it was the only leverage Elain had. If Arina betrayed her, she still had her bargain with the Lady of Day at least for the year. And after that, well…well Elain might try and run for the continent if she couldn’t figure anything else out.

“I’m a Seer,” she said plainly, holding Arina’s gaze. “And when Killian came to see me, I had a vision at his feet. He can’t know—”

“Because his father would lock you away,” Arina murmured softly, nodding her head. 

“I kissed him as a distraction,” Elain said, which was true enough. 

Arina took a deep breath. “Eris Vanserra is…”

Elain watched Arina take a breath and shake out her trembling hands. “Eris Vanserra and I…”

Elain scooted just a little closer, heart hammering in her chest. Stil, she didn’t speak as she waited for Arina to say the words that eluded her.

“Mates,” Arina finally managed, her eyes bright with unshed ears. “The bond it—”

“Oh,” Elain whispered. “Oh.”

Oh, but you look like one. 

Arina rubbed the heel of her hand against her eyes. 

“Have you spoken with him?”

“No,” Arina admitted, shifting beneath the white blanket they were still laying beneath. They were in her apartment in the city and Elain imagined Arina would continue to stay until Eris left. “I am afraid of what he might say.”

“I could chaperone,” Elain offered, straightening slightly. “Somewhere public—maybe in the garden. Quiet enough for privacy but not so quiet no one would hear if you screamed? You could…make your intentions plain to him?”

“Would you reject a mating bond?” Arina asked her. Elain’s stomach clenched at the thought. Mates were so rare to start with—everyone hoped to find theirs. Elain was not immune to it, having grown up in a home where the High Lord and Lady were mates and loved each other beyond reason, beyond sense. The High Lord was cruel to everyone—his children, his court, his friends.

But not his wife. Not his mate. And Helion and Amera, well…Elain wanted what they had so bad it made her teeth ache. It was clear Arina did, too. That all the hopes she’d had about her own life were being dashed at the realization that she’d been paired irrevocably with a Vanserra.

“In Autumn,” Arina continued, understanding Elain’s silence, “Females are the property of their mates—of males. It’s why Lady Amera couldn’t leave until the mating bond between her and Helion snapped.”

“We’re not in Autumn,” Elain reminded Arina helpfully. “He can’t do anything but court you.”

“He doesn’t seem like the courting type,” Arina admitted bitterly.

“Do you want me to arrange a meeting?” Elain asked.

“Yes,” Arina said after a long moment. “I…I just need to know what he’s thinking. And I need him to know I’m not going to Autumn.”

Witnessing a bond rejection sounded miserable and yet Elain only smiled. “Leave it to me.”

Arina and Elain eventually made their way back to the palace where it was still early enough she could smell breakfast wafting down the hall. She was tempted to follow it, starving after a night of too much drinking and not enough food. She might have, too, had she not stumbled into Killian and Lucien just at the end of the hall.

Lucien looked—gods, but he looked handsome. In a black waistcoat and well-tailored pants, there was something obscene about how his jacket laid against his neck, how he’d tied his hair off his face in a low ponytail. His hands flexed at his sides, unadorned with the usual jewelry. She was staring, she realized, but the more skin he covered, the more appealing he’d become. 

“Elain,” Killian murmured, drawing her attention back to him. Lucien’s eyes glittered with amusement right until Killian lowered his mouth and pressed a kiss to her lips. Elain had been so busy looking at Lucien that she hadn’t realized what was happening. 

Lucien turned away, his disgust plain. 

“Are you going somewhere?” Elain asked, speaking to Killian even as she kept her eyes on Lucien.

He grinned, then. “Dawn,” he told her, eyes cutting toward Killain. 

“Why?”

“Don’t you worry about that–” Killian began, caressing her face.

“A disturbance on the border,” Lucien said at the exact same time. Elain pulled from Killian to face Lucien entirely. He cut a look of warning to her and Elain understood this was how Lucien was getting rid of Killain for her. Take him to the border his territory shared with Dawn and when they returned, Killian would have to go. 

Don’t ask to join us, she swore those russet eyes said. 

“Good luck,” she said, noting the breath Lucien exhaled. He was getting to escape his mothers birthday on her account, and while Elain was certain deep, deep down Lucien could be a gentleman, she didn’t think this act of charity had anything to do with her.

He was trying to avoid his brothers. 

“Will you come home for Calanmai?” Killian asked, unaware of how rigid Lucien went behind him. Elain did, though. She was still staring at the sharp edge of his jacket collar and how it brushed against the edge of his strong jaw. 

“I…” She knew what he was asking. His father always picked his mother for the celebration, which left his four sons to choose among the rest of Spring. Maidens still lined themselves up, hoping for the High Lord's attention and settling for his sons when it was clear the mating bond still overrode his senses. 

Elain knew if she was anywhere in Spring, Killian would find her. And she didn’t think she wanted her first time to be in the grass while a mindless male drove himself into her. 

“Details to be worked out later,” Lucien interjected with a roll of his eyes. “We ought to leave if we want to be in Dawn in time for lunch.”

Killian offered Elain a sweeping bow while Lucien, impertinent as ever, merely winked in her direction. 

“Think about it,” Killian murmured, taking her hand and squeezing softly. Elain felt as though she were drowning, trapped in a hell of her own making. She’d led him on and now he wanted her at Calanmai—he was courting her in earnest, then. And while Elain was imagining freedom at the end of the year, she knew Killian was imagining a wife. 

“I will,” Elain lied, her decision already made. Killian offered her one last lingering look before trailing after Lucien, who was halfway down the hall. Elain would have to thank him for this later, even if she thought he’d only agreed because it benefited him personally. 

She had a task, besides. Clearing her head of Killian and Calanmai, Elain began winding through the palace inquiring after Eris. Where was he? 

In the library, of all places. Elain thought he’d become more handsome in the years since she’d seen him last. Fair, smooth skin, full lips and high cheekbones betrayed him as part of Beron Vanserra’s brood. That auburn hair, swept off his face gracefully, and the amber eyes, though? That was all Lady Amera. Eris was as tall as Lucien, towering over her as she approached, though built far leaner than the muscular Lucien. Handsome, though. Eris was still so, so handsome. 

If it had been her, would she still think so? If a bond had snapped between her and Eris, would she be standing in the open atrium of the library marveling over his good looks? Or would she be hiding in the city, too?

Elain couldn’t answer that. Instead, she made her way toward the prince of Autumn, half hidden behind one of the tall stacks. A rather large book was held open in the palm of his hand, snapped shut when he saw her approaching.

For a moment, Elain thought she saw nothing but empty despair in Eris’s eyes. Certainly, even when he smiled there was no warmth—barely any life at all. 

“Little Elain Archeron,” he said, grinning two rows of straight, pearly teeth at her. “All grown up.”

“Hi Eris,” she said, shyer than she’d meant. He was still the hero of her childhood and no matter what terrible things she’d heard about him, Elain always remembered the male who’d jumped in the pond after her, risking his own drowning death to save her. 

“I saw Killian stalking the halls. Tell me this isn’t a stop on your honeymoon,” he said conspiratorially. 

“No,” she rushed to assure him, unsure why. “He’s just visiting. Lady Amera has taken me under her wing.”

“What a fine place to be,” he said, though he stiffened ever so slightly. “Giving you access to her libraries, is she?”

“Yes,” Elain agreed. It occurred to her that Eris may have come to the library not in search of knowledge, but because he’d learned Arina was a scholar. “I uh…I’ve come to invite you to meet with Arina.”

His gaze sharpened. “Oh?”

“She wants to know if you’d like to talk in the garden.”

Eris had gone utterly still, clutching the book in his hand so hard Elain could see the whites of his knuckles. 

“Why would I want to meet with her?” he finally asked. He’d become so, so cold and when he looked at her, there was a warning etched against his features. “She’s merely a scholar I have no interest in.”

“But–”

Eris tilted his head in warning, lips pressed in a thin line. “But?” he whispered, the word utterly deadly.

“What about…?” Elain had the sense she was missing something terrible. Eris reached for Elain, his long fingers curling around his wrist with just enough force to pull her further into the shadows.

“About nothing,” he swore, his voice barely above a whisper. “There is nothing to discuss—and whatever you heard, whatever she thinks is a mistake.”

Elain’s chest ached. “Eris.”

“Don’t meddle, Elain Archeron,” he warned her, releasing his grip on her wrist. “Just as I won’t when I meet with the High Lord of Spring next week.”

Elain met his gaze. “There is nothing you could say—”

“I heard you and my brother are working together. Alone?” Eris suggested, his eyes searching her own. “How lovely to see little Lucien, who has quite the reputation, take such an interest in you. I’m sure it means nothing…but I heard you two were alone together in the city last evening and you didn’t return until daybreak.”

“That’s cruel,” Elain said, stumbling back a step. “You wouldn’t dare.”

“I would dare, Elain. Whatever rumors you’ve heard about me are true. I am not your friend. And Arina means nothing to me.”

Elain looked down to his hands, trembling at his sides despite the cold, mocking expression on his face.

“Your secret is safe,” she murmured, swallowing hard. Elain turned to deliver the news to Arina—Eris was scared—when he caught her by the elbow. Bringing his mouth so close to her ear she could feel his lips brush her skin, he whispered, “Is she safe here?”

Elain only nodded, taking a breath. Eris released her and adjusted his jacket. “It was nice seeing you again, Elain. You’ve become radiant.”

Elain wished she could pay him the same compliment, but Eris looked miserable beneath his sneering countenance.

What in Autumn could be so awful that he’d rather reject his own mate than speak with her? 

Elain hoped never to learn.

ERIS: 

The sounds of a thudding base reverberating through glass sent Eris from his bedroom. He wasn’t the only one. His brothers had converged in the hall, dull eyed and exhausted from two days of trying—and perhaps failing—not to prove the High Lord of Day right about them. Eris knew very well what Helion Spell-Cleaver saw when he looked at them. 

Proof of Beron Vanserra’s cruelty. Children forced on his mate that she’d never wanted and was still forced to deal with. Children who would never compare to his own son, to his mother’s favored child. 

Eris had only been nineteen when his mother left. Connall had been six. Eris wondered how Helion reconciled that—that he’d stolen their mother from them when all but Eris was a boy. Cadmus had been fifteen and Tanwen ten. Were they truly damned already? Unsavable? 

Or merely not worth the effort? Helion got his perfect family and Eris, who’d stepped in to try his best to shield his brothers from the worst of their fathers rage, refused to let Helion forget where his mate had come from. 

For as long as Eris lived, Helion would never have true peace. 

And neither would Eris, it seemed. Rubbing his temples, he considered just leaving. What was the point of another tense breakfast in which Helion guarded their mother, gold eyes watching every word to the point it was impossible to talk to her at all? Eris couldn’t determine if she’d asked Helion to do that, or if he simply hated them so much he did it all on his own.

“Should we…?” Tanwen asked, running a hand through his auburn hair nervously. 

“No,” Eris whispered. Hidden just out of sight, they watched Helion Spell-Cleaver make his way past, unaware he was being watched. Eris swallowed his resentment that Helion didn’t need to think of such things—he wasn’t being spied on constantly.

“Come on,” he whispered, gesturing for his brothers to follow. He hoped they’d be able to steal a minute of their mothers time and wherever the High Lord was going, it wasn’t to meet his mate. His brothers fell in line, following him like they always had. If Eris could count on nothing else, it was their loyalty. At least for now, Eris didn’t worry about a knife in his back. Not when they were all fighting a common enemy—Beron Vanserra. 

Eris knew the way to the High Lord’s chambers, having been granted access only once in the early years. He knocked, heart hammering in his throat.

Please be here, please be here, please—

“Come in,” came his mothers soft, lilting voice. Eris glanced at his brothers, with their squared shoulders and carefully blank faces. All of them, just like him, were reminding themselves not to get their hopes up. Pushing his way in, he found her sitting tucked into a chair just beside an empty fireplace, book in hand. 

“Boys,” she said, relaxing when Eris had expected her to tense. Connall locked the door quietly behind them while Tanwen removed the axes from his back out of respect. Only for her—only here would they allow themselves this small show of vulnerability. “I was hoping we might…” she took a breath and marked her page before offering them her full attention. There was a guarded wariness to her eyes that made Eris feel a bolt of misery.

Did she think so little of them, too?

Cadmus stepped forward, hands behind his back. All eyes on their brother, who shared the most in common with Beron when it came to features. Their mother looked at him and Eris wondered—just as he knew Cadmus did—if his mother saw her son, or the husband she’d never wanted. 

“Are you well?” Cadmus asked nervously. 

She rose to her feet, her long white night dress skimming the marble floor beneath her bare feet. She went to him and though each of her sons were a good head and shoulders taller than her, she cupped Cadmus’s face.

“What price will he exact for your presence?” she whispered, brushing her thumb against Cadmus’s stubbled cheek. 

All four of them looked away. That she knew at all was damning. All of Eris’s accusations rose in his throat, his resentment burning against the back of his eyes. None of them wanted to miss her—to love her. And yet standing in her presence, Eris felt like a little boy again, desperate for his mothers time and attention. 

“Don’t worry about that,” Tanwen said earnestly, russet eyes bright. “Tell us about you.” It was safer to pretend they’d go home tomorrow and Beron would show only mild interest in how they’d spent their time.

But Eris knew what Beron had in store for them. He’d all but promised it with a sneer, irate they’d ever choose to see their mother when he loathed her so. The only satisfaction Beron was granted was thinking they made Helion miserable—which was pure truth. Still, they could pretend for her sake. 

His mother patted the spot beside her and Cadmus practically tripped over his feet to sit beside her. The rest of them took up chairs, scooting close enough she could talk softly. She told them of life in Rhodes—of the bees that some of the gardeners had begun to keep and of her amusements in the palace. She spoke of Lucien fondly, and told them about Elain Archeron coming to court with eyes that spoke to her hope her youngest son might get something out of the Spring Court lady’s presence.

And she spoke of missing them. “I wish you could visit more often,” she’d said, gripping Cadmus’s hand with such earnest, unguarded affection.

Beside Eris, Connall’s chest rose and fell rapidly. “Why didn’t you take us with you?” he asked, his voice little more than a rasp of air. 

“Connall,” Eris hissed, even though he, too, wanted to hear the answer. Surely it could have been just him who stayed? 

His mother shook her head. “No, I…I’ve wanted to explain this. I’m sorry,” she added, eyes shifting from each of them. “I know Helion and Lucien…they mean well.”

None of the Vanserra’s dared to take a breath. They didn’t absolve her, but didn’t dare condemn her, either. They knew what their father was like, even if they wished for something different.

“I tried,” she whispered after a moment, elegant hands twisting in her lap. “I told Helion I was rejecting the bond—that I intended to remain in Autumn with your father.” Eris had never heard this story. It certainly wasn’t the way Beron Vanserra recalled events. One day his mother had been putting his brothers to bed and presiding over the ladies at court and the next she’d fled, gone in the night to Day and refused to return. 

“Your father, he—”

He’d figured it out. Eris gazed at his mother, forcing her to hold his stare. 

She swept her long, thick hair from her shoulders and tugged down one side of her sleep dress, revealing long, pink puckered scars trailed along her spine. All four of them recoiled, as if they didn’t have similar markings on their own body.

“Helion called a council of the High Lords after I managed to get out. I tried to bring you with me, but he’d hidden the four of you away. I couldn’t find you. And after, I begged him to forget—I swore I’d stay, that I didn’t want Helion, that—” Her breath caught in her throat. 

“He would never have accepted it,” Eris said dully. Beron would have been insulted at the mere thought of another male’s claim to his wife.

“The High Lords took a vote on whether you would be allowed to come to Day with me,” she told them miserably, hands still twisting. “Eris was never part of that conversation—given you were Beron’s heir and mostly grown, they argued you had to stay.”

“And the rest of us?” Connall asked, gripping the arm of his chair so tightly he was in danger of breaking it.

“Six of them voted for you to stay in Autumn,” she whispered, a tear streaking down her cheek. 

“Six?” Eris repeated, his stomach lurching. “Who—”

“Helion,” she whispered, unable to look at them. “He argued to bring the rest of you here. He said—he said you were so little. He offered to instruct you but…but the others felt there was a chance Eris wasn’t Beron’s heir, and a foreign court had no business raising another High Lord’s progeny. So you all stayed where I wasn’t allowed to speak to you and I hoped…”

The air was so thick, so heavy with her regrets. Connall rose to his feet and crossed the gap between them. Falling to one knee, he took their mothers hand in his own and laid a kiss against her skin.

“We know what he’s like,” Connall whispered treasonously. “We just…”

It was so painful, watching the five of them try and repair so much hurt. Eris’s stomach clenched tightly, the words trapped in his throat. 

“We just want to spend time with you,” Connall finally managed, eyes dropping to the ground as shame heated his cheeks. They shouldn’t need her—or even want to need her. And yet they did. They were no better than children right then, hoping and wishing for affection. 

She closed her eyes, allowing two tears to glide over her cheeks. “I have been so afraid I’ve…I’ve held you all at arm's length. How could you not—I would be so angry if it were me—” She looked up at Eris with those knowing eyes. “You shouldn’t presume so much,” he managed, hating how his voice cracked. 

She nodded, mouth open to say something else. Whatever it might have been remained, as Helion Spell-Cleaver stepped through the doors at that precise moment.

All heads turned to look at him. Eris surveyed the High Lord cooly, imagining him at that meeting with six other High Lords, arguing on behalf of children he didn’t want. It didn’t make them even—Helion had never been kind, only cordial. Distant and cold, with eyes that betrayed how little he trusted them. Even then, a wariness slid over his features as he looked to his sniffling mate.

“What’s going on in here?”

“Just catching up,” their mother said, a bright smile on her beautiful face. “The boys were asking me about the bees.”

All four Vanserra’s had slid their masks over their faces. Connall, still kneeling before their mother, rose to his feet gracefully. “We’re thinking of starting a garden back home.”

Lies, of course. Helion turned to look at Eris, his wariness and distrust enough to make Eris stand. He’d never be free of this place. Long after his mother died, Lucien would still be around as a reminder of what she could have had—and Arina, too. 

Fucking Arina.

“We’ll take our leave.”

“You don’t…” Helion trailed off as all four stood. 

“Better than being watched like animals,” Tanwen snarled, reaching for his axes.

“Boys—”

“Another time,” Cadmus told her. They’d gotten some answers and some time, short as it was. Helion looked almost apologetic as they filed out, leaving her behind in her bedroom. Would she tell her mate what they’d asked? How she’d seen their hurt, if only for a minute.

“I’m going to fuck something,” Connall said after a second, snapping his head in the direction of the thudding music. Eris wanted to join, to lose himself to the pleasure of a slick body beneath his own.

He couldn’t. Fuck him, but the mere thought of touching someone else made his skin crawl. While his brothers branched off, Eris made his way toward the back gardens and the winding, sandy path toward the beach. The air was muggy, causing Eris to shed his jacket for the white shirt beneath. 

At home, the water was too cold to swim in. Here, though, Eris could shed his boots and socks, roll his pants to his knees, and wade into bath warm water. He sighed loudly, the sound swallowed by the crashing waves around him. Moonlight brushed his cheek, lulling him into a false sense of security.

It was the wind that dragged that vanilla and lime scent. The musky sweetness of someone that didn’t belong to him. He heard the soft jangling of jewelry, and when he turned, there she was. Glimmering even in the dark, like a sunbeam made manifest. Her name was Arina. Elain had told him that. 

He couldn’t stop looking as she approached. Little gold bracelets adorned her wrists and ankles, while a low slung skirt made it seem as if her hips swayed with each slow step. She wore nothing over her midriff, her breasts hidden beneath sheer fabric and well placed, gold dusted pearls. Eris swallowed hard—a breeze ruffled her thick, long hair, dragging it over her obscenely beautiful face. 

She means nothing to you. 

If Beron learned of her, there would be hell to pay. Besides, he reminded himself—Lucien had touched her so possessively that Eris was almost certain they were together. Just like always,

Lucien got everything Eris wanted. 

She came to stand beside him, gazing out at the water with unreadable eyes. Eris didn’t say a word, unsure what he even could say. He’d told Elain Arina was nothing to him—and he’d meant it, even if it pained him. 

“I saw you walk out,” she finally said, her voice as soft as the whispering wind. “Your brothers went to dance. Do—do you not dance?”

He glanced over at her. “I’m not interested in the revelry.”

Her lips formed a soft oh, one he didn’t dare read into. She didn’t want him. It was why she’d sent Elain in her place to arrange a meeting. Eris squared his shoulders and straightened his spine. Not all mates were a good match, he reminded himself. He could envision no path for either of them that didn’t end in pain. 

He was so stupid—so incredibly stupid for asking, “Do you dance?”

She shifted her weight, jangling ever so slightly. Of course she did. She looked exactly like the dancers Helion often employed. Eris could imagine how devastating she was. The thought made his chest tight, made his hands clammy. 

“Yes,” she murmured, turning her eyes back to him. Eris wished she wouldn’t. He wished she’d run away like everyone else did. He kept his focus on the inky horizon, certain she’d realize he wasn’t good company and take off. If she’d been any other female, Eris would have said something cruel to scare her off. He couldn’t bring himself to do it—not when he knew a broken bond was hanging between them.

“Elain told me what you said,” Arina finally murmured, turning to face him fully. “Why?”

“I thought you’d be grateful,” Eris replied, hating how quickly his heart was beating. He was scared. All he wanted was what his mother had—that small bit of peace in their shitty world. And he was going to lose it before he’d ever even started. He’d never get her back—and he’d spent the rest of his life wanting her, wishing he’d been someone else. 

“I thought you’d throw me over your shoulder and make me your wife,” she snapped. Eris suppressed the urge to groan, rounding on her. She was a good head shorter than him and somehow made him feel like the sand beneath her bare feet. 

“Is that what you want?” he asked, advancing like a predator. Arina held her ground.

“Why you?”

He laughed. “Why me? Are you lamenting that you’re trapped with a future High Lord? I thought this was the sort of thing females dreamed about.”

She put her hands on her hips, unaware of how close Eris came to falling to his knees. “Mates are equals. You’ll be High Lord but I—”

He wondered that, too. “Show me,” he said instead, because he knew there was magic simmering just beneath the warm gold of her skin.

“You first,” she replied, teeth sinking against her plush bottom lip. Practically preening, Eris erupted in flame, igniting the beach in brutal, shimmering heat. Light erupted through the inky dark, illuminating Arina’s beautiful face in a warm, orange glow. Eris let it flow through him, bathed in that ancient magic that marked him. 

A warm wind tickled his face, threatening to make a wildfire out of him. He didn’t recognize, at first, that the air was manipulated until Eris choked and the flame extinguished from his form. It was her—the architect of his destruction, the engineer of his fury. Eris fell to his knees, lips pressed together even when his lungs ached for a breath. He wouldn’t give her the satisfaction of seeing him beg.

He was already on his knees, after all.

Arina released her choking hold and Eris gasped, eyes closing. For a moment, he allowed himself to imagine what kind of offspring they’d produce. 

Eris rose to his feet, wiping sand from his knees. “Have you been sufficiently answered?” he rasped. 

“No,” she admitted, shaking out her hand carefully. 

“Break it, then,” Eris said dismissively, ignoring how his throat felt as though it were coated in sand. “I won’t stop you.”

He turned, intending to reach for his jacket and his boots and storm back inside while she shouted it at his back. 

You’re unworthy of a mate. You know you are. This is for the best. 

Arina caught his wrist, unaware of how that little touch ignited the heat in his blood. Eris didn’t turn, though he did look down to where their skin connected. 

“Is that what you want?” she asked, creeping just a little closer. She was so young, so unaware of how much worse things could be. Safe—cosseted by Helion and his younger brother. And yet out here with him. Eris knew the things people whispered about him. The rumors he never bothered to clear up, that he was content to let swirl if only to pacify his father.

“Yes.”

Arina didn’t drop his arm, nor did Eris pull away. Their eyes collided and Eris was nearly overwhelmed with the urge to push her into the sand and kiss her. To fuck her right then and there until she was drenched in his scent and his come. 

“You’re a liar, Eris Vanserra,” she whispered, condemnation dripping from every word.

“So? You still get what you want, so who cares?”

“You’re so sure you know what I want?” she challenged. Eris snapped, reaching for her waist to pull her against him. Arina’s gasped as his hand spanned her throat, fingers tracing her lips as he tilted her back and brought his mouth so close to her own he was all but kissing her. 

“Oh? Is this what you want, Arina? To fuck me in the sand—be my pretty Autumn wife and bare my brood?”

She pressed a hand to his chest, pushing him back. Eris held fast, because he needed her to see what a mistake this way. To imagine any goodness was folly—this was all she’d ever get. 

“Tell me, mate. Is this what you want, to—”

She shoved at him hard, wind pushing him further with the help of an angry gust of wind. “I’m not afraid of you.”

He wanted to fuck her so bad. Eris stumbled back, wiping at his face as if she’d struck him. “Then you’re stupid,” he spat, certain this would be the moment he looked back on when he wondered when he’d fallen in love with her. That didn’t stop him from turning on his heel before he could act on impulse.

“Everyone is afraid of me.”

[honey-on-your-tongue]

Abby Anderson headcanons with fem reader. Fluffy and smutty maybe?? And also when they meet? Please and thank you

Abby Anderson 😩😩😩

---

Soso, meeting Abby

You definitely meet either in the gym (AU) or you tresspass into WLF territory and she catches you

Her first reaction is that you're gorgeous, absolutely fucking beautiful, and then she's confused and internally flustered because why is she feeling like this???

Would probably be a little meanish in the beginning as you two get to know each other, but you'd slowly make a place for yourself in her heart and she'd get all soft for you

She still tries to fight her feelings for you, no matter how intense

She asks you out, somewhat resigned about the fact that she can't get you out of her mind and worried that you'll say no.

Of course you don't say no. Your eyes light up and you blush gently as you softly say, “I thought you'd never ask, Abs.”

And she's delighted and a little flustered because how did she get someone as amazing as you to fall for her?

Fluffy hc

Abby is the type to get home after a long day of work and just seek you out in your shared apartment. She'll pick you up, not caring what you're doing, and carry you to the bed. Ignoring your giggles of, “Babe, I'm making dinner!” or “Hey, I gotta finish this.” Then, she'll lie both of you on the mattress, cuddling up beside you or on top of you or under you, so long as she can nuzzle her face into your neck and kiss your shoulder.

She loves to take you on dates. Picnic dates, watching movies at home dates, taking you out to eat at your favorite place, sometimes even cooking with you and opening a bottle of wine as you eat.

She adores to braid your hair. She'll be gentle about it (regardless of whether your hair is curly or straight, long or short) she's always making sure it doesn't even hurt. And she loves it when you do her hair. You're the only other person beside herself who has the permission to undo her braid and run your fingers through her hair after a long day.

She'll shower with you, fussing over washing you and giving you soft massages as she does.

She loves to hold you, kiss you, just have you close. Be it a finger hooked around the belt loop of your jeans or an arm around you, a hand in your back pocket or intertwining her fingers with yours. She loves to keep you close, to feel you close. And she loves to make it clear to everyone else that you're hers.

If you've had a long day, she'll help you change into comfy clothes. She'll give you a back rub, she'll cook for you and she'll watch whatever you want to watch. And then, she'll cuddle you to sleep, or, if you want, she'll hear you vent about your day, giving you little kisses on your face and caressing your arms.

Every morning when she wakes up, she'll look over at you and smile the widest smile ever. She's just so in love with you.

And speaking of love, the first time she says it to you it's totally natural. She doesn't even realize it. You're lying in bed, I'm her arms, telling her some story or another and you're laughing. And she laughs along and just says, “I love you.” And you freeze, eyes shining and wide as you stare up at her, and then she'll realize what she said and she'll blush slightly. You'll kiss her, straddling her hips, holding her close and say, “I love you, Abs.” Ever since, she says it whenever she can. She says it all the time.

She lends you her hoodies, her shirts, her pants—everything. She loves seeing you wear her clothes, loves how they fit you, and she especially likes to strip you of them later 😏

She'll probably never tell you, but she likes to think of both of you as old women, still together, living peacefully in a farm or a small cabin, and it's the only future she can envision. It only means something if you're with her.

NSFW hc

Abby is a top and nobody can convince me otherwise.

She loves to have you under her, your nails digging into her back as she fucks you raw with her eight inch pink strap-on.

She also loves to have you on top, watching your body all bare for her as you ride her, and she loves that she can see your pretty pussy all wet as you take her cock.

She adores every single sound you make. She'll go to extra lengths to get you to whine, mewl, to gasp her name. She loves the way it leaves your lips. Sometimes, when she's away from home for a night or two on duty, she'll touch herself at the memory of you crying her name.

She likes to take you from behind, her huge hands splayed over your ass, occasionally spanking the flesh as she fucks into you.

One time, you'd turned the tables, offering to use the strap-on on her, and she'd agreed. She's too shy to tell you, but she loved the way you fucked her. You know, though. And you offer to fuck her more often now, to which she quickly consents.

She loves the taste of you. She'll eat you out for hours, never getting enough of you. She makes you come over and over and over again until you're shaking and can't remember your own name.

She has nothing against you eating her out. She loves when you do it, loves to feel your tongue and lips on her pussy, and the sight of you between her thighs drives her insane. She's just a little embarrassed of how loud she is when your mouth is on her pussy, so she's a little shy about it. You never mind, though. You love hearing her cry out and writhe at your touch.

At some point in your relationship, you found out that Abby has never squirted. So you made it your personal mission to assist her. And the first time she did it, she'd been so surprised about it that her eyes had grown wide and her cheeks had gone a bright pink. You'd lapped it all up, delighted, and the memory is forever seared into her mind. You make her squirt whenever you can, relishing in the look of ecstasy on her face.

And of course, aftercare with Abby is simply the best. She'll clean you up with a warm, wet towel. She'll give you a bath. She'll massage you and apply lotion all over your skin before dressing you in one of her shirts and a pair of sweats. She'll lull you to sleep, repeating how proud she is of you, how you always do so well, and reminding you how much she loves you. She always manages to get you to fall asleep in her arms, held in her kind embrace and feeling safe and loved.

-----

Blog masterlist

[variousqueerthings]

💌💥

OHHHH these two made me think about some Stuff!!!!

thank youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!!!!!!

💌share something with us about an up-and-coming work (WIP) that has you excited!

So I'm writing a due south thing in which both meg and ray are in love with fraser and fraser's very kinky, but doesn't seem to be able to set boundaries -- anyway, meg goes to ray for help because she's a mean dom, but she's worried she'll be too mean and he won't say no when he wants her to actually stop.

So this is near the beginning of meg and fraser's first little attempt...

“You don’t have to be so polite,” she says against his lips, smiling, before she chases a want and bites down. Oh, this feels so different to anything she’s wanted before. No, that’s not right. Not technically – it feels like something she’s always wanted, but not wanted to admit to any man, because men – even men who like being pushed around in the bedroom – would never let her have any real power. But Fraser... Ben… he exhales softly on the bite, no flinch, no complaint, and she tastes blood. She withdraws to survey her handiwork. Fraser runs his tongue over the spot. He doesn’t seem upset or uncomfortable, just dazed. Perhaps a little curious even. It makes her bold enough to go with her next instinct, to place a hand on his cheek and press down with her thumb over the slightly swollen place, just to let the hurt linger a little longer. To her surprise, he parts his lips wider to take it in, eyes fluttering shut when she allows it to slide past his teeth and into the wet hollow of his mouth, in and out, at first shallow, and then deeper and deeper, pressing down on his tongue. Something inside him seems to have coalesced entirely around this single movement, his arms hanging loosely at his sides, his body limp and barely supporting his weight. Well, if he wants down…

💥find your least kudos'd fic - say something wonderful about it.

My least kudos'd fics are also funnily enough the last two I wrote -- I think they might also be the fics with the least hits, so they are just sweet rare babies.

Snapshots (getting married in buffalo jump): I'm so into this fic. It's my first Paul Gross contribution (but there will be more) and it's in a fandom that has four fics. so for one, I'm adding to the ecosystem. For two, I think it's got great balance in terms of writing three characters orbiting around one another and keeping them/their emotions all in frame without cluttering the story -- I really enjoyed working within the cracks of the material to create this dynamic, one that very much could be inferred from both the film and the book, but obviously they weren't going to be brave and out-and-out make those leads polyamorous

Thirdly this is probably the most graphic sex I've ever written and I think I did a pretty good job! I write a lot of kinky scenarios, which often include sex, but as a background/embedded part of the kink -- this one is also kinky, but it's very based around a sexual scenario

Last, I really enjoyed writing two femmy doms. Two for the price of one fic!!!

I also think (last last) it's a pretty easy fic to read without knowing the source material, it's got a certain book je ne sais quoi to it once the main stuff has been explained (granted, a very short book of which roughly half is sex)

nowhere fast (streets of fire): another movie barely anyone watched in which I believe I'm the only person who wrote this ship (last I checked) -- it's an f/f that I think does a good job of centering lesbian cultural references and is also great at that fun melancholia-tinged-eroticism that I'm personally super fond of. the ideas in it around loneliness and running away and living moment to moment and prediction that there will be trouble in the future but right now is the only thing that counts anyway and how that applies to queer women in the world they're in...

the characterisation of the two once more builds on a text that offers sparse - but specific - bits of narrative to play with and I really liked taking them in a direction that was about centering them when they were more emotionally on the outside in the source material (and making that - for one of them - part of the meta narrative). The original narrative gave us an obviously butch woman and then just... let her sort of rest like that and do badass things, which was fun (hey you take what you can get) but you wanna scratch that itch and actually explore that butchness some more. I think I did a great job of that

just a beautiful melancholic lesbian homage to a fun movie (which I would also recommend for sheer Coolness factor! young willem dafoe biker gang! music written by the writers for meatloaf and stevie nicks! butch sidekick with a gun who's awesome!)

[togoldlilya]

Because I love you okay?

"because i love you idiot" the words are said without thought, unable to listen to the self deprecation any longer. "i love you so much i don't even know how to act around you most of the time. you make my heart hurt whenever you're near, and you calm me down so easily it scares me sometimes. you never judge me for how i act or what i say, and i know i can tell you anything. you never fail to make me laugh and you always seem to know what to say. i always want to see you when i wake up or go to sleep, i think about you when you're gone, and when i see something you would like. i always try to know your likes and interests and the things you hate, so i can avoid them. god toge i cant stop thinking about you and i can't imagine a future that you're not in! i love you toge so please don't ever think anything else" her passionate words leave him speechless, mouth agape in shock, cheeks steadily turning cherry red.

"natto... tsuna ikura shouyu... okome" he struggles to find his words, pointing at her, determination obvious on his face. "okome natto, ikura okome" tears unwillingly come to sayaka's eyes in shock and happiness, but toge thinks she dosent understand and starts to panic. "okaka! okaka! natto okome! okome!" he gestures wildly, making her giggle through her tears.

"toge... i'm so happy you feel the same way" wiping away the tears that fell, toge sighs in relief making her giggle even more. "you're so silly kiki" without anymore words he steps closer to her, intent clear in his actions. he believes she'll understand, after all she always was the best at understanding him. her hands come up to rest on his shoulders, his own at her waist, holding it so delicately. she moves to cup his cheek, caressing it softly, as she nods her assent. not wanting to wait anymore he pulls down his sweater and eagerly presses his lips to hers. she jumps at the sudden action making toge chuckle against her lips, a smile growing on her own as their eyes fall closed. his thumbs begin to rub soothing circles on her hips as he presses closer to her, lips moving excitedly. her free hand begins to play with the hair at the back of his neck making him shiver at the feeling. she never wants this feeling to end, the sea of calm she seems to have fallen into to, floating further and further out to the depths, unsure if she even wants to be saved. his hand slides fully around her waist to hold her to him and she decides that, no, she doesn't want to be saved, she would rather drown out here then be pulled out to cough and sputter and try to survive without the water that is currently giving her life. hesitantly she pulls away, unable to stop herself as she peppers sticky sweet kisses across his cheek. they're breathing heavily as they make eye contact, unable to hold back the laughter at their energetic actions. she buries her face in his shoulder and they hold eachother tight, just basking in eachothers love for just a moment, later they would deal with all the emotions and deep discussions, but right now, during this perfect moment, all they need is this. smiling to herself sayaka can't help but feel giddy, squeezing toge until he grunts at the pressure that's forcing all the air out his lungs.

"natto okaka-" the moment broken, he squrims trying to escape her embrace. laughing she tightens her grip, fervently pressing more feather light kisses against his cheeks making him laugh at the ticklish feeling, resulting in sayaka doubling down just to hear more of his laughter.

[ask-butterscotch-and-friends]

Finn, what are you and Butterscotch going to do about this “rumour”?

The Rest of Our Lives, Part 6

"If I want to know whether or not this rumor is true, there's only one thing I can do...and that's contact my mother and get to the bottom of it myself." Finn explains.

"Finn, I can't let you contact your mom...not after everything she's put you through. Talking to her again will only cause you to break down..." Butterscotch says to Finn.

"Butterscotch, amour, it's the only way I'll know for sure."

"Maybe we can find another way? Something that involves...not putting yourself in contact with the person who abused you?" Butterscotch suggests.

"I don't...think there is another way. It's either this, or I just sit there and try to blow it off as just a rumor without ever truly knowing. I'm losing enough sleep as is...I need to know, and this is the only way." Finn sighs softly.

"Finn...are you sure?" Butterscotch asks.

"We're getting married soon...and moving states right after. Planning our future together. This is supposed to be a happy time for both of us. How am I supposed to be happy when all I can think about is this?" Finn asks.

"...You do have a good point..." Butterscotch sighs.

"I just need to make one phone call...that's it. If it's not true, then I can put this to rest, move on like nothing happened. If it is, then I get information about my real father...see if I can meet him. Either way, after this phone call, I never have to speak to her or ANYONE from my family ever again."

"But Finn...that's assuming she'll even tell you anything. For all we know, she might hang up on you before you even get the chance to ask any questions."

"Maybe...but I need to at least try, right?"

"...If that's what you really want to do? I won't make any decisions for you. This is up to you, love...and you know I'm going to be here to support you no matter what happens."

Butterscotch pulls Finn into a loving, warm embrace. Finn returns the hug without hesitation, burying his face into the demon's shoulder.

"I love you, Finn..." Butterscotch says softly.

"And I love you, too..." Finn looks up at Butterscotch with that same sweet smile he was known for...before addressing Butterscotch by his true name. A name that sounded sweet on his lips, a name that Butterscotch loved to hear him say...

"Elliott..."

Next Page

[traegics]

There's a contemplative look against her features at his words, head tilting to the side slightly as she hummed, soft sigh easing from her lips. "I don't know how she'd feel honestly," Sky admits. "I don't know if she even has the ability to be pissed, if she does- I've never seen it. I just don't want to trudge up the past and upset her. Especially if all she wants is to move on with her life. I just don't think I can move on, kind of like I'm stuck in the past. I crave closure, I want to find the people that killed them, I want to find my brothers but I don't even know where to start." Her heart ached deeply for her losses, for the unknown and the injustice. She had once held so much hope for the future but now it just seemed bleak and she was merely trying to survive each day that passed.

She could see the visible freezing of his frame, head tilting slightly as she waited for his answer before he's moving and her gaze is falling to his scar lined torso. She pushed off the counter, feet pulling her frame closer to his own as digits hesitantly rise to trace over the risen skin, brows furrowing deeply as her gaze was set intensely on the marks until his words pull her gaze upwards to his own and hands return to her side. Sky blue hues reflected the pain and sorrow she felt for him and she'll give a shake of her head. "How old were you," Skyla questions curiously, the sensation of the scars beneath her touch still very much felt in her fingertips. "Scars are battle wounds, they tell a story but doesn't make it any less unfair that this happened to you." Brows dip again as she tilts her head curiously at his words, what was it that he did exactly? She didn't want to pry too much and she already felt like she was pushing a little too far but it's as they say, curiosity killed the cat. "And what is it that you do," the fairy questions softly, almost inaudibly. Her gaze follows his movement as he reaches for one of the cupcakes, a smile being allowed to form against her features as she eagerly awaited his opinion on them. "Yeah, I mean, I just dabble in baking," the blonde shrugs with a soft flutter of laughter. "What can't I do? Oh man, that's a tough one. Let's see-" Her words trail off as she pretends to really think about it before allowing laughter to fill the air surrounding them and shaking her head. "I actually don't know how to drive a car," she admits. "Growing up in foster care you don't really- have the same opportunities as other kids."

Now that they established honesty as foundation for their future interactions, Matt felt more at ease. There was a part of him that was hardwired to distrust, even the most trustworthy of people, but right now a bigger part of him felt like she could be someone worth the try. Someone to prove him wrong. So he would go against his better judgment. And he would let her in, as much as 'in' would allow. -- A smile, genuine smile, soft in nature, enters his lips as she speaks and he'll shake his head in reassurance. "I don't think it's selfish. Wanting to protect people you care about. I mean, if she ever found out she'd be pissed that's...a price of secrets but, you have a good reason. Telling her now wouldn't do her...or you -- any good, would it?" it was pretty simple, when put in a perspective. And all secrets came with a price. Skyla knew that, he was certain of it. Every beautiful creature, every happy creature, held their fair share of secrets.

Being asked to reveal his scars again, causes him to freeze for a moment. It was one thing for him to offer them, another entirely for someone to actually pay attention. And there's a tinge of insecurity as he lifts up his shirt, unable to look at them himself, and his eyes will focus on hers, awaiting a reaction to pass her features for him to read. She still puzzled him, her eagerness to know him, to be friends with him, her certainty that there was something in him that was worth it -- in spite everything he'd said, everything he'd done. It was uncomfortable, but also...good in a way. After Gabi, after what he'd done to her, what he exposed of himself to her, he was more careful not to fuck up again. Not to say too much, too many wrong things. "Nasty right?" he'll finally speak, in reference to his scars, and let his shirt fall down again. "It's a good thing though. Scars. They're a reminder...a pretty fuckin' good one. -- They help me do what I do..." he'd suddenly realised she perhaps didn't know -- that he was a hunter. That he spent every waking moment since that night working for an organisation making sure what happened to him would never happen to anyone else. And he realised, just as suddenly, that he cared for her opinion more than he liked to admit. Her thoughts of him. The way she looked at him. It caused a certain fear to settle in. Like if he told her, she too would not look at him the same. So he smiles and reaches for an oreo cupcake, digging in with hopes she'll not ask him to elaborate any further. "Oreo's great. You made these yourself? Man, what can't you do?"

[inmyfxith]

Link, Part II.

Pairing: Ragnarssons x sister!reader

Warnings: Death (canon)

Words: 1 741

Part. I, Part. III, Part. IV, Part. V, Part VI, Part. VII, Part. VIII.

Farewell. A simple word to express so much. Usually, it was used to say goodbye to someone you were sure, or not, to see again. You were sure you would see Hvitserk alive again, you had seen him come back to you in one of your dreams and yet you had said goodbye to him a few minutes before he left for the Mediterranean.

Despite this, you still prayed to the gods that his journey would be successful. Standing on the dock with your mother, Ubbe and Sigurd, Hvitserk took you in his arms and lifted you off the ground. He didn't react when you said goodbye, probably thinking it was your way of showing concern.

You had said goodbye to Bjorn earlier in the day, you were not that close to each other. Bjorn was not like Ubbe. His attitude towards you depended on the moment, sometimes he was distant while other times he was more affectionate, putting his hand behind your head or helping you when you needed it. As the boats gradually left the harbor, you stayed to watch them disappear until you saw none.

To make you think of something else, Ubbe proposed you go hunting with him. This was quite unusual, you knew how to use a bow but most of the time your brothers went hunting with each other. You accepted, always happy to spend time alone with Ubbe. Hunting was a big word you were not able to kill a single animal. It was more like a walk in the woods, a special time when you could talk to your brother about anything without fear of being judged.

"Do you think one day I'll leave too?" you asked as Ubbe inspected an old trap he had set during a previous hunting trip with your brothers.

"Where do you want to go?" You shrugged, looking with disgust at the inert body of a rabbit Ubbe had just tossed over his shoulder.

"I've never been anywhere but Kattegat, just going to Hedeby would be a great adventure." Your brother chuckled before frowning at how worried you seemed. He walked over to you, the rabbit's corpse still strapped to his shoulder. Lifting your chin to force you to look at him, his other hand came to rest on your shoulder.

"Why are you asking all these questions about leaving?"

"Mother told me about marriage. You know her, she'll never marry me to someone from Kattegat, so I'm bound to be sent somewhere else."

It was true, your mother did have the idea of marrying you off as tradition demanded. You had entered a turning point in your life and your childhood was now behind you. Your father had never really been part of your life, so it was up to your mother to choose your future husband.

Removing his hand from your chin, taking the time to search for the right words to reassure you, Ubbe placed himself next to you, his arm around your shoulders as he pulled you against him.

"You know what, no matter where she sends you I'll come with you." You smiled softly, your gaze still low. Seeing that you didn't respond verbally to his proposal, Ubbe pulled you close before kissing the top of your head.

"Everything is going to be okay, I promise." The two of you stayed like that for a little while. You needed reassurance and Ubbe was always the one who was best at accomplishing that task.

Back in the Great Hall, Sigurd had gently mocked you for bringing back only a rabbit when you had been gone for several hours.

The time has finally come to say goodbye to Ivar. The idea of accompanying him had not even crossed your mind. You didn't know how to fight, defend yourself when you needed to was alright, but you weren't ready to face an enemy on purpose.

On the dock, your mother took your hand, as if she was trying to reassure you. In reality, it was Aslaug who needed reassurance. There was a look of concern on her face, an expression that was absent when Hvitserk left. The question of whether your mother would be as concerned about your departure crossed your mind. Maybe she had seen something you didn't know.

In the few days following the departure of Ivar and Ragnar, you spent your days sitting on the edge of the dock waiting for one of them to return. Your fears intensified when a storm blew in one night. As Thor unleashed his anger, your heart broke, imagining for a moment that you had potentially lost one or more of your family members. And, when you woke up the next morning, your eyes were still red and swollen.

"I warned him, I told him not to go. The gods punished Ragnar and took my Ivar away." Hidden behind the wall that separated your room from the main hall, you perceived the conversation between Ubbe and your mother. Her voice was trembling, she was crying. She rarely cried, as if she was repressing her emotions. You only knew joy, anger, and worry but not sadness.

"This is not the first time faðir has gone to sea and fallen into a storm. I'm sure they are fine." Ubbe's comforting words were not enough to calm your mother. Sigurd remained silent as if the possible disappearance of Ivar did not affect him more than that.

"Not a word to your sister, I don't know if she had the same vision as me and I wouldn't want to worry her."

Coming out of hiding, you waited until you were noticed to speak up.

"No need to hide anything from me, I heard you talking." If there was one thing you couldn't stand, it was being kept out of conversations. Ivar and your mother were masters in this art, always whispering in each other's ears. Sometimes you did it, of course, but in those cases, after a while, you ended up including more people in your conversation.

For some reason that still escaped you, Margrethe had invited your brothers to dine in Lagertha's Skali, in Hedeby. Knowing this, you planned your day accordingly. From the time you would spend with your mother to the time you would spend at the market, everything was calculated to make the day go by as quickly as possible. However, despite your well-calculated schedule, you spent part of the day on the dock. Desperately waiting to see boats arrive.

While your eyes were riveted on the water, the sound of a horn brought you out of your reverie. This one could only announce two things, the arrival of a guest, but you were not expecting anyone or an attack. It was the worst time for Kattegat to be attacked, most of the warriors had left with Bjorn or with Ragnar and your brothers were not present to lead the remaining forces. Feeling the danger coming, you ran to the only more or less safe place, the longhouse.

Your mother quickly found you. She didn't seem surprised by the attack, much less worried. She hugged you, stroking your hair before placing a kiss on the top of your head and whispering to you to be strong because everything would be okay.

Once you calmed down a bit, Aslaug explained to you who was attacking the city and especially why, portraying Lagertha as an opportunistic woman but without denigrating her.

Following the queen out of the Skali, your hands began to shake when you saw Lagertha facing you. Your gaze begged her to leave Kattegat without harming anyone, but the shield-wielding warrior did not look at you. You moved closer to your mother, clinging your arm to hers as you indirectly listened to what Lagertha had to say.

Before you could react, your mother had turned to leave and, as you were about to follow her, you saw her collapse to the ground as an arrow pierced her back. The sight paralyzed you, you could not move, the shock was too great. Your heart started to beat faster, your whole body started to shake slightly and your breathing started to become jerky. Only then did you feel a small pain and a warm liquid running down your arm. The arrow that Lagertha had shot had also hit your arm, leaving a shallow wound on your skin.

Breathing became increasingly difficult and the shaking became more prominent. You gasped as you first felt Torvi's hand on your shoulder before she took you in her arms, trying her best to help you calm down.

She helped you back to your room, acting strangely maternal towards you. However, when Ubbe and Sigurd joined you, you were alone. Before they could ask you anything, you jumped into Ubbe's arms, happy to know that they were still alive. They had guessed what had happened when they had met Astrid and Torvi at the entrance of the Skali.

You couldn't talk anymore. You were lost. The dozens of questions in your mind prevented you from thinking straight as tears rolled down your cheeks. Ubbe sat you on his lap and you rested your head on his shoulder. He stroked your hair, aware that you had witnessed an event that even he would have found difficult to bear. Sigurd was also sympathetic, telling you that you could not have done anything to stop Lagertha or that you were brave not to resist her.

Not being a threat to the new queen of Kattegat, Lagertha allowed you to attend your mother's funeral at your request. Your eyes never once turned to Bjorn's mother, it was difficult for you to define how you felt about Lagertha. You loved her less than before, but you did not hate her.

Torvi stayed by your side for most of the ceremony, like emotional support, occasionally putting her hand on your shoulder.

You remained silent until the arrow, which was to ignite the boat, was fired. As a final farewell, you began to sing, softly at first, before your voice became stronger against the gentle sound of the wind and waves.

"I know everything, Odin, to whom you gave your eye. You will be free from the bonds that bind you. Once you stand at the gate to Hel and when you have to tear free, I shall follow you. You are free from the bonds that bound you!"

[romeoandjulietyouwish]

The angst anon has me thinking, what about Vex having a post-canon brush with death and Percy saying something to the essence of “I never thought I’d have to live without you?” Lifespan angst with a side of Hurt/Comfort?

Percy is going to die well before Vex. That's something he's grown comfortable with. After all, the thought of having to watch her die, just like so much of his family before, hurts him to no end. He's glad she'll out live him, even if it is selfish.

But now he's facing that very possibility.

It was supposed to be an epic last hurrah for Vox Machina, finding the biggest monster the could and tearing it to shreds. It was a day trip, nothing more. But it ended with Vex lying bloody on the ground. Percy kneels by her side, holding tight to one of her hands as Pike stands over her, divine magic swirling between her hands.

Percy doesn't look away from his wife. Her chest is still, not rising and falling, there's no trace of life on her face. There's a ice cold fear in Percy's veins, what will he tell their children? Gods, Gwendolyn is barely old enough to talk, she can't lose her mother. Fuck, Vesper is almost an adult, she can't lose her mother. None of them can. He can't lose his wife, not when he knows what grief does to him. He doesn't know how to live without her.

Pike's divine magic sinks into Vex's skin, making her glow for a moment. Peercy squeezes down on her hand, "Don't leave me, please don't leave me." He doesn't know who he's talking to, maybe Vex, maybe the Raven Queen, maybe his brother in law.

His eyes are blinded with tears, but he still hears her talk in a long breath, her beautiful eyes blinking open. Percy doesn't waste a second before he pulling her into his arms, crying a bit into her hair.

Vex hugs him back and after a moment pulls back and takes his face in her hands. She wipes his tears away, "I'm alright, darling."

At the sound of her voice, Percy takes a long breath and presses a kiss to her palm, nodding a little bit. She kisses him, it takes like blood and tears, but she's here and she's alive so Percy doesn't mind.

When they return to Whitestone after getting cleaned up, no need to terrify their kids by arrive covered in blood, Percy doesn't leave Vex's side. Together, they corral their kids into their beds, having a late dinner, and make their way to their bedroom.

When the door shuts behind them, Percy pulls Vex into another hug, breathing slowly. Vex holds him back, "Darling, you're worrying me," she tells him softly.

Percy pulls away just enough to meet her eyes, "Vex, I...I never thought I'd have to live without you and for a second I saw everything. I-I saw me trying to raise our kids by myself and trying to rule Whitestone..." He trails off, shaking his head. "I don't ever want to live without you because I am terrified that I would become who I was before you changed me."

Vex smiles sadly and kisses him. "Percival, neither of us can predict the future. But if you were to lose me, I know that you would still be an amazing father and ruler." She squeezes the back of his neck, "I hope it never comes to that, but we both know that it's possible."

He nods with a sigh. "Are you ever worried about the time you'll live after I'm gone?"

Vex says nothing, she walks over to their bed and sits on the edge. Percy follows her, sinking down beside her as she takes his hand in hers. "Of course I am. You changed me as well, Percy, and the thought of having to live without you or my brother is terrifying. But I'll have our children and Keyleth. I'll be alright."

She leans her head on his shoulder. Percy squeezes her hand. "We're destined for a tragic ending, aren't we?" He asks quietly.

"I don't think so," Vex tells him, just as soft. "Every story has hard moments, sad moments. It doesn't make the story a tragedy. Besides, our story doesn't end when we die. I'll see you again, Percy, in the same place where I'll find my brother and our mother and your family and the rest of our friends. That's a happy ending to me."

Percy smiles a little bit, though tears gather in his eyes. "Too me as well."

[martieshub]

That was true. He knew it deep down in his soul how mad she'd get at missing this. But he couldn't blame her, love stories no matter how they came about were her favorite. And this one was the one she and his sisters were truly invested in. ❛She'll be talking about this for months just know that. ❜

He shrugged as he could feel a smile spread across his features. ❛None were mean spirited though. More than half were random things that made me think of you. One song that I had stuck in my mind for a few days that I knew you'd know the title of. I guess it's now your right to see those texts. ❜ There was laughter behind his words at that. He didn't ever have anything to hide and didn't care if she saw his phone or not. Most of what he had on there were family and friends who, come to think of it, she knew of or had met at some point. ❛You'll probably think I'm ridiculous. Even more so than what you've seen.❜

He knew how hard it was to start off and to begin to peel yourself like an onion. It took courage and a bravery no one could ever begin to know of until they were in the hot seat. Thumbs doing a comforting number on hers he smiled, not hiding the pride for her. ❛I'm proud but I hope you really are proud of yourself. I knew you were always brave but this—just shows how strong and courageous you are. Future you will thank you. You're showing up for her. ❜ He knew this journey was for her to take on her own but she'd still have a support and cheer section regardless.

A big part of him wanted to ease her fears but what could he say that wouldn't just seem like he was disregarding it. He chewed on his words for a moment before he began, ❛Because if I left that easily? Then I really wouldn't deserve you. No one writes songs about the love that comes easy. Fuck ups happen okay, I won't deny that but if watching my siblings' love stories taught me anything, it was that what matters is what you do when things get tricky and hard and fuck ups are made. You don't just leave your partner to deal with it alone. I want to work with you through the ups and downs and the in betweens. I'm sure I'll fuck up along the way too, so we learn together. How can I be so sure? We communicate. Our communication game is pretty strong. ❜ his finger gingerly tapped on her nose, making himself laugh softly. ❛That's the point. You're not sure of yourself but I am sure of you. I believe that's what the kids call a partnership. Your shortcomings, my shortcomings, they're not weaknesses not when you're with the right person. ❜ Being with her changed a lot of his perspective. Things he never saw himself say, here he was saying them and actually meaning them.

He lingered softly in their kiss shared and pulled away softly. As he gave her one of his signature smiles that he'd come to reserve for her. ❛You're right. Never. I love taking up your time though. Second favorite past time. If you're going to call Charlie and Anna. I have to be here for that. I just know you won't tell me what he says. ❜ Wally said it teasingly but knew that to be half true. Either she'd neglect to say certain things or skip over it all together. ❛I can hear it. Though which is worse his gloating or roro's?❜

❛Well, I'm no expert on this but from what I've gathered from seeing couples who were friends before is that the transition will be easier than it'd be if we were strangers. Not saying it won't have some rough patches but there's already a level of care that we developed while we were friends, we're still friends but now that just has become something more. It's become friends who are in love. Technically I don't see much changing, we're still hanging out, eating dinners, working together but now I can actually take you out on a date and call it a date and tell you how beautiful you are without you thinking I'm joking. Kisses too is good without the pretense of doing it for work. There'll be loads more snuggles for you though. Insane amounts of snuggles but most importantly I want you to know we can take it as slow or as fast as you want. My main thing is I want you to be happy and comfortable. Everything is a bonus. End of the day you're my best friend who I've got a major crush on. ❜ He wanted to add in a normal banter for her since this would be one of the biggest changes that they'd have to deal with and sort through. However she wanted to proceed was how they would.❛What do you think will change? ❜ he asked as his fingers took her hand and began to draw shapes on her knuckles. The way she was currently looking at him started to color his cheeks a slight crimson color.

It was a fascinating thing to experience, having someone look at him like she was. He'd seen it, heard it from his brothers in laws. Saw it the first time jc had come to him to tell him he had fallen in love with his sister. He saw it the very moment that they'd sat together and saw the way they'd look at each other. That look reminded him of the one his girlfriend was giving him. At that his dimple slightly showed thinking that was a sentence he never would have thought would ever come. He wanted to make a joke so badly but didn't. Instead let his hand cup her jaw and his index finger caressed from her jaw to her cheek, locking eyes with her. If this was how they'd communicate from now on, it would definitely warm his heart. He'd found his someone. ❛Oh man. You do realize that now you're gonna be an official plus one to my mom's summer bash gala. ❜He started laughing just thinking about it. ❛Just know you don't have to go if you don't want to. I can cover for you. ❜

She felt her heart swell in a happiness she couldn't ever remember experiencing before. At the mention of her friend, she couldn't help but laugh. "Then we should be careful because she'd probably be mad she wasn't there for it."

The sentiment was something she knew all too well. She longed to call him so many times. "I would love to see these texts, I'm sure some were well deserved at how I went around doing this." At his question, her voice was soft and low from trying to not cry as she answered him. " It's hard. There was a part of me that knew it would be, I just didn't think it would be this hard. Probably the hardest thing I've ever done. ” She remembered the silence that surrounded her when she sat there in the office, not knowing what to say or how to start. The itch to drink or run from it all instead of staying and continuing to face the things that haunted her in a way she didn't think she could be haunted.

" It is? " Her eyebrows furrowed in slight confusion. "But what if I still fuck up? I get that you would be there for me but what if I fuck up so much that you won't want to be around me anymore? I just," she sighed. "I don't know how you can be so sure in me when I'm not."

"Yeah" she said standing up with his hands in hers and gently pulling him up. "In all fairness I didn't tell you to get on your knee. And it's okay, I know your not that big into sharing." She chuckled before placing another soft kiss on his lips. "In all the time that I've known you, when have you been worried about taking up my time? You can stay here as long as you want. Oh, yeah." Her eyes grew wide. "I should probably call Charlie and Anna." Biting her bottom lip as she led him to the couch, she quickly dismissed it. "Tomorrow, I don't want to hear his gloating right now."

Settling on the couch, she couldn't help but just look at him. Watch him. "So, what now?" She asked softly, this all being new to her. She hadn't given it much thought as to what would change. What would be different. If anything at that.

[the-orangeauthor]

👻 ghost and 🍬 candy

Thank you for the asks Rie ❤️

👻 can you tease some wip ideas that have been haunting you/ something you want to write in the future?

Oh the stories haunt me *drapes myself dramatically over a lounge seat* where do I even begin???

Of course, something I’ve been mentioning in a couple posts recently, is The Wand and the Wolf book 2 - currently titled The Warlock in the Shadows!!! I’m currently thinking about the story line of this book, I know how I want the first half to go but I need a dramatic ending as this is probably the last we will see of Kyda and Ibhan in the Raynorverse until the cross-over series.

The Scale of Dragons is another story that is taking place in the Raynorverse in about the same timeline as The Wand and the Wolf, but focuses on the Dragonborn empire over on The Isles of the Winged on my Raynor map! If I take a break from Kyda and Ibhan I’ll probably start work on this one as the plot is extremely juicy and will start to feed in to the cross over aspects of Raynor!!

🍬 share a sweet or fluffy scene from your wip!

This one is from pretty close to the end of The Wand and the Wolf but I just love it so much 🥺 Ibhans POV

"We did indeed," Kyda said, leading me over to a large armchair. She helped me get comfortable, giving me an extra cushion for support, before gently pushing back my hair as she left the room.

"You're so whipped," Riaz murmured, catching my gaze following her out of the room. I whacked his arm, hard as the wolves in the room laughed.

"They're werewolves, smartass, there's no secrets in here," I hissed and he joined the laughter. I would never be rid of the red again at this rate. Kyda returned a few moments later, and I did my best to look occupied by the conversation the others were having, but all my focus was caught as she sat on the arm rest of my chair, one arm draped over the back, the other in her lap. I looked up at her, and a she smiled down at me, her hand finding its way from the chair into my hair.

"How you doing?" she asked, and I cleared my throat as the feeling of her nails on her scalp overwhelmed my brain.

"I'm fine," I said and she raised an eyebrow. I rolled my eyes, "I'm a little tired, but I'm okay," I said and she leant down, pressing her her lips to the top of my head.

"Have dinner, and we'll get you settled in your room," she said softly. It felt like my body moved on autopilot as my hand caught her chin, pulling her just a little lower, letting my lips brush over hers. I smiled against her lips as I gave her one more chaste kiss before letting go of her chin.

I was vaguely aware of silence in the room as I looked up at her, aura pulsating with hues of green and wisps of yellow. The moment was broken as her mother came from the other room to announce dinner. They brought me a little table out and Remus, Damien, and Riaz kept me company in the living room as the kids beat them to the table.

"Eliza got through to your mother by the way," Damien informed me, "she said she'll be here by tomorrow with your father," he said, trailing off at the end.

I sighed heavily as I ate. God her parents were phenomenal cooks, the meat in the stew was deliciously soft and I realised how little I had eaten in recent weeks. Knowing my father was coming certainly helped work up an appetite.

"So," Riaz said, "you and Kyda?" Remus almost choked on his food, growling at Riaz who waved a fork in surrender.

"We haven't been over any details yet but I don't plan on letting her go any time soon," I said, looking over to Remus. He narrowed his eyes at me, unwilling to trust anyone with his sister after what she had been through. But I wasn't just anyone, and he knew that.

"We'll, she's not living in Ravenvein," he said as he sat back. I scoffed as I reached for my water.

"I think we're all wanted criminals in Ravenvein," I said and Riaz and Damien laughed as Remus eyed the three of us.

"I don't wanna know, I refuse to be complicit in whatever crimes you committed," he said, "but your brought my little sister home, so I'll be on your side."

The for now at the end of his statement was silent, but I felt it longer in the room. The tension diffused as two of Kalinas pups came flying back into the room, leaping over furniture as they ran. I caught one, mid shift in my hand as he pushed off from the coffee table and tried to make it across my chair, falling short. I held him up to my face and the little wolf wriggled and nibbled on my fingers.

"I hate that you're all so cute," I muttered, turning him over in my palms. Spotting his sibling he promptly flung himself from my open grasp to continue the chase.

"When are you starting your litter?" Riaz asked and I waved my hand, a mist of shadow smacking the back of his head and he spluttered, Remus and Damien laughing across from us.

I love when Ibhan sees the pups and just needs to hold them because he doesn’t want them to hit their silly little heads on anything 🥺

These questions are from this ask here!

[hot-wiings]

The One Where [Y/N] [L/N] Can't Show Up To Her Toxic Family Dinner Alone, So She Turns To Her College Peer For Help.

Edited: 12-4-2020

Once your college professor dismissed the class as over you were quick to open your phone and check your messages. Once unmuted, it vibrated and chimed a dozen times bombarding you. Messages from your mother overflowed your notification bar. You just didn't have the energy to deal with it right now. With a scowl, you set your phone back to mute mode and harshly shoved it into your backpack.

"Everything all right?"

Your chemistry partner was pilling books back into his backpack when he asked you the imposing question. He zipped the bag close, stood up, and turned to you, giving you a concerned look as he slung his backpack on his shoulder.

"I'm fine."

"We've been partners for nearly a year, I think I know you enough to know when you're not fine."

Your eyes glanced up at the white-haired man before glancing back at your lap. Your chemistry partner, Natsuo Todoroki, was a nice young man. Natsuo was funny and kind, he noticed when you were having a bad day, and he'd try to ease your troubles. Maybe that was why you often found yourself studying your partner more than your notes. Normally you'd relish under the gaze and attention of your charming, pretty partner, but today wasn't just one of those days.

"It's stupid. Like, really stupid, and unimportant."

"If it's bothering you then it's not stupid. C'mon, I'll buy you lunch and you can tell me all about your problem."

You huffed as you stood up and pulled your bag over your shoulder. You followed Natsuo to the cafeteria, while he walked off to get and pay for your lunches, you found some empty seats. Your leg bounced as you waited for him to come back. The idea of opening up about something so personal made you anxious.

"It's Soba Saturday."

"Thanks."

Natsuo took a seat across from you and smiled as you took a bite out of the food. Happy that you were happy with your food, Natsou digs into his own.

"So partner' what's up?"

"As I said, it's really, really, stupid."

"You're obviously worked up over it, it can't be that stupid."

You let out a ragged sigh as you took a delicate bite out of your food. Embarrassed, your eyes avoided him once you swallowed and set the fork down. Natsuo had shared so much with you as a friend and confidant, you knew about his family, every nitty-gritty detail, but you opened so little in return.

"My mom texted me asking if I was bringing a date home for Christmas. My parents... They're pretentious and rich, you know? Marrying, and settling down, becoming a house mouse while my husband takes over the family business. That's the future they want for me."

You clenched your fists just getting aggravated thinking about it. The toxicity was hard and you were trying your best to escape it, but you could only flee so much when you were poor without your parents. Natsuo reached across the table and grabbed your hands, pulling them into his cold ones.

"I know if I show up alone my mom's gonna get in my business, then she'll try setting me up with rich men she thinks are suitable. I just- I can't do another family Christmas alone."

"I understand what you mean. I told you how my dad's a bastard, he's tried setting me and my sister up with suitable people before, never works out, just makes us hate him. I don't even wanna go home for Christmas this year, so... I have a proposition."

"I'd love to hear it."

"I'll go with you."

His voice came out quick and fast, almost making him sound nervous, but Natsuo didn't get nervous, it wasn't a Todoroki trait. You look up from your lap to his eyes. A small smile formed on your face as he proposed the statement. You let out a chuckle as a light blush brushed your face.

"You wanna be my date?"

"We don't have to go like that, we can fake date. Think about it, you need a rich, suitable guy to show up with you. You need me. Someone to convince your pretentious parents you're ready to settle down, and, I, can get out of my own family Christmas and obligations to see the bastard man."

"Fake dating... Fake dating and convincing my parents that we're in love. That's a lot to deal with, you're sure your up for it?"

"Yeah, you might say... We already have some chemistry together."

You laughed as that feeling bubbled up in your chest. That feeling you got whenever you were around your partner, your lab partner. It was stupid, so stupid. The idea of fake dating him bubbled you, even if it was fake, the idea that he got to be your boyfriend for an evening or two excited you.

"Okay, you dork, it's settled. You're my fake boyfriend."

Your leg bounced rigorously as the car drove on the road. You watched the road signs, anxiously noting how far away from your home you were each time a new one appeared. You lived a couple of hours out from the city you and Natsuo attended college in. Coming from a rich family, you and Natsuo probably would've attended the same social circles and school had you not grew up so far away.

Your thumb tapped away at your leg as Christmas music blared through the radio. Your whole body screamed anxious and distressed. Now that you've had time to brew and process the deal you and Natsuo made you regretted it. What were you thinking, taking your lab partner, who was also your crush, on an overnight trip as your fake boyfriend? It was just going to cause you trouble.

You had feelings for him and your family was toxic. The idea of letting him in was disturbing. It was your home where you grew up, the place you learned to hate yourself, the place that taught you to be closed off, and mean. He'll meet your mom, your dad, and your godawful siblings. He'll see how horrible your family is, and the idea of letting him see the environment you grew up in was so daunting.

What if he decided you were awful too? What if he changes lab partners?

"We're here."

"Great."

Your voice came out placid and tight. Your nervousness and exhaustion could be heard in your voice. Emotions brought out every time you saw your family, he mistook it as nerves brought on by the fear of fake dating.

"We should probably lie down some rules."

"Yeah, I've never fake dated before. I don’t know what you're uncomfortable with, but no kissing on the lips."

Natsuo pulled his keys out of the engine ignition and pocketed them while he lightly laughed at your proposed rule. Heat rose to your cheeks as his voice met your ears.  

"We're supposed to convince them we're in love, but I can't kiss your lips?"

"I know it's silly, but to me it's romantic and I’d like to keep this professional. Besides, you still have my cheek, hand, nose, and forehead."

“I see your points, if it makes you feel more comfortable then lips are off-limits.”

You let out a relieved sigh. You weren't sure you'd handle kissing Natsuo. It was too personal, too romantic. The more you progressed on this endeavor the more you worried. Your parents were gonna know, they were gonna know. 

"No kissing your lips, what about hand-holding?"

"We can hold hands, hug, anything a couple would do, just no sex or kissing."

"Two days, as a handholding loving boyfriend. Let's do this."

Natsuo got out of the car and while you zipped up your coat and fixed your scarf he rushed to the other side of the car and opened your door before you got the chance. His cold hand was on your hand pulling you out of the car, he smiled softly at you as he helped you out.

“Thanks, you didn't have to do that.”

“I wanted to, I'm your boyfriend after all.”

You pushed a piece of hair behind your ear as a light blush spread across your skin. Never had you been more thankful for the cold air for you had been able to play your pink cheeks off as an effect of the cold weather and not his words. 

“You go in, I’ll get our bag.”

“You sure?”

You nibbled on your lip as Natsuo walked away from you. He turned to you with an ever-growing smile present as he winked. 

“Yeah, I'm a good boyfriend aren't I?”

“The sweetest ever. See you inside.”

You made your way to the door and gave the heavy wooden door a hard knock. It wasn't long until one of the servants opened the door. The head butler, Godwin, opened the door and threw you a gracious smile before pulling you into a hug. 

“Welcome back, [Y/N].”

In your time living here as a child, Godwin spent a lot of time with you. It was his job to watch over you and your siblings along with the other staff members when your parents were gone, which was often. He was the one who taught you to be kinder and nicer, more humble than your other siblings. He was the one who encouraged you to go to college despite your parents raising you to live in a world with their racist, sexist ideals. 

“It’s good to see you, Godwin.” 

Your mother came down the stairs with her overly expensive Christmas dress flowing with her. She looked like the average rich person trying to show off her money. Pearls, diamonds, and obvious plastic surgery. Your father followed behind her, adorning an expensive tailored suit and a matching tie, no doubt your mother's idea to make it seem like they had a perfect marriage to their guests when it, in fact, was not. 

“Oh, [F/N], you're here!”

She walked up to you and awkwardly wrapped her arms around your body. It was weird and awkward. Your mother didn't like giving affection out to her children, or really anyone. Now that you were older, you didn't crave the attention from her. Your father didn't even attempt to greet you. 

“I thought you said you were bringing a guest, Oh I knew you were lying. Lucky for you I thought ahead and arranged for one of your father's friends to come over as your date for the evening.”

“Mother, anyone friends with father is going to be way too old to be a date for me, besides that fact, I did bring a date.” 

“Oh, don’t be embarrassed to ask your mother for help, I did give birth to you after all.”

She sneered her words at you. This was a classical move of your mothers because she gave birth to you then that must mean she knows you better than anyone else, she also used it in the stance that you owed it to her to do what she wanted.

“You’ll love him. He's the owner of a multimillion-dollar company, he's rich, and his wife just died! You’ve been single for so long, you need a man to take care of you”-

Your mother is cut off by the sound of Natsuo walking in with your bag and slamming the door shut, trying to keep the cold out. Considering it was an overnight trip, you thought sharing a bag might make you look more intimate and close. 

“Sorry I took so long babe, I didn't zip the bag all the way closed and it opened on the ride here, I had to put everything back in it.”

“Mother, father, this is my boyfriend.” 

Natsuo dropped your bag on the floor and shook your parent's hands starting with your father, and then your mother next, respectfully the way you shook hands with the rich. You supposed growing up as a Todoroki he had to learn these tricks and rules the same way you did. 

“Natsuo Todoroki, nice to meet you, sir, ma’am.”

“Oh wow, Todoroki? Like the hero family Todoroki?”

“Yes, ma’am... Endeavor is my father.”

You could tell by Natsuo's stance that he was uncomfortable with the way your mother was asking about his social status and checking him out with a tight fake smile on her face.

“Yes, I remember now, I saw your family on the news. How did you snag this one [Y/N]? A Todoroki, I'm impressed, then again... He is the brother who chose not to follow the life of a hero.”

You both ignored your mother's catty comment as Natsuo grabbed your hand and pulled you against his side. He kissed your cheek, eliciting a light blush for the second time that day, however, your mother's focus was on your 'boyfriend', and his focus was on your mother. 

“Feels more like I'm the one who snagged her.”

“Well, you must tell us how you met. Goodwin! Take their bag up to [Y/N]'s room!” 

You rolled your eyes as she yells at the butler. You'd think after years of working for her she would've remembered his name, but she didn't.

“Godwin, we can take our bag up, we need to change into our dress clothes anyway. Mother, you really should remember the names of your staff.”

“They're just the help, details like their names don't matter. Ever since you went off to that school it's put silly ideas in your head. Natsuo don't be afraid to remind her who's boss, she might try to force those ridiculous relationship norms on you.”

The comment comes from your father who had been mostly silent throughout the whole conversation. The comment comes from your father and it didn't sit well with Natsuo. As your father laughs at what he said, Natsuo picks your bag up and chuckles at him. 

“Oh, [Y/N] and I both know who the boss of this relationship is. [Y/N] attends more classes than me, so I always make sure the apartment is clean, and food is ready on the table for her. It's only fair, I wouldn't want her to think these ridiculous relationship norms where the woman cooks and cleans and the man provides is right.”

Before your father gets another word in edgewise, Natsuo pulls you along with him to the staircase, letting you guide him to your bedroom with appeased smiles on your faces. You pushed the door open and let Natsuo in before closing it and locking it. You flopped over on the bed, and he followed suit before taking a look at your room. It was the same as always, the way you left it after high school, never changing except for when little things got moved around for dusting and vacuuming by Godwin. 

“So... What'd you think of my parents?”

“They’re... interesting?”

There were a wide variety of choice words Natsuo wanted to use. He did not like your parents, and it bothered him knowing that you grew up being raised with such ideals. Natsuo might have had a bastard for a father, his father might have hurt his mom, and his family in more ways than one, but his father never once told Fuyumi that she couldn't pursue her dreams. He never once told Fuyumi that she had to follow old gender norms, never once was Fuyumi taught to layover for a man.

"It's okay, you can say it. They're good awful."

"I didn't want to upset you or offend, but my father literally drove my mom insane, he gave her a mental illness and he's nice compared to them."

"Just wait until you meet my siblings."

You let out a laugh as your fingers played with the blanket on the bed. Your hands were so close. It was sweet to him, the sound of your voice. He'd never admit out loud, but he was so in love with you. Ever since he first laid eyes on you in chemistry class. Ever since you sat down next to him and introduced yourself, ever since you accidentally blew up your first experiment. Ever since you kept apologising for catching him on fire, you hadn't a clue who he was, or who his father was. You were normal with him. Every little thing you did lead up to his feelings for you. Every little thing you did added to the strong feelings had had, like a brick house.

To the naked eye, Natsuo was a desirable man. He was rich, filthy rich, and he had that Todoroki charm. Everyone wanted him for his status or his looks. They didn't know him, the real him, him with an abusive father and fucked up family. For all those reasons, Natsuo always thought that you wouldn't want to be with a boy like him. Someone who came from such a broken background, someone so weak, unable to stand up to his father. Guys like him never got the girl, at least not the girl that he wanted but Natsuo also never imagined that you came from a background similar to his. It was so ethereal and special to be here with you, to be the one you were opening up to, even if it was a fake relationship, Natsuo was trying desperately to shoot his shot.

"You're so strong, you know that? Your parents raised you with these unrealistic standards on how you should act, but you're in college, you're pursuing your dreams. You're amazing."

Natsuo's hand reached out and grabbed yours, his cold one in yours soliciting goosebumps and a little shiver. You quickly tried to pull your and out of his and stood up to make it look like you weren't trying to avoid skin contact with him.

"Thanks, Natsuo... You're amazing too, I mean hello, they way you subtly told my father to shove his marriage ideals? It was hilarious, he was not expecting that."

You looked away from Natsou to hide the blush in your cheeks, you were thankful for the way he stood up to your father for you. You could never have done that in a million years.

"Anyway, we should probably get dressed, and go down before my mother thinks we've started having sex. You can get dressed in here and I'll go to the bathroom, just knock when it's safe for me to come out."

You grabbed your dress out of the bag and scurried into the bathroom. You started with makeup, then you reapplied your deodorant. You were so nervous that your family would see right through your lie. After taking a few deep breaths you heard Natsuo's knock so you quickly unzipped your silk, baby blue dress and pulled it up to your body. Nervously, you popped your head out the door and bit your lip.

"Can you... Can you zip me up?"

"Sure!"

You let the door open more and pulled the front of your dress tight against your body, worried and nervous to be partially naked in front of him. Natsuo sauntered into the bathroom and zipped the back of your dress up. His cold hands glide up your back and then fell down on your hips. It made you shiver again before throwing him a grateful smile.

"Thanks."

"No problem, you look beautiful."

You looked in the mirror at the two of you together. This time as the blush rose to your cheeks you didn't have the cold to blame or the ability to turn around and hide your face.

"Ready to meet the rest of the snake nest?"

"I survived your parents, I think I can handle your siblings."

Arm in arm looped together you made your way downstairs and into the entertainment room with Natsuo. Your siblings were sitting on the couch, but once you walked in their eyes struck you. They heard you brought a date and they wanted to check him out. Their eyes glazed over him some of them in interest, some in disinterest. All judging.

"I heard you brought a boy, didn't believe it."

The comment comes from your older sister. Her voice was full of disdain and disinterest, undoubtedly ready to leave.

"Yeah, mother said you brought a boy, didn't think he'd be so hot."

Natsou coughs uncomfortably as you showed a tight, fake smile to your sister. You couldn't lie, it hurt that your younger sister would so blatantly flirt with your boyfriend upon meeting him, whether he be fake or not.

"Don't be such a slut, [Sisters Name]. That's your sister's boyfriend."

Your older brother scolded his youngest sister for her lustful behavior and she rolls her eyes before she crosses her arms in a pout. Your brother was the nicest out of all your siblings. He was nice to you and your siblings in his own way, protective of his younger siblings, constantly scolding and trying to keep you all in place. That didn't mean he couldn't be a snake, he could just tolerate you and your siblings more.

"Besides, he's not all that hot."

"Oh he totally is, it's seriously a wonder how [Y/N] got him."

You brought Natsuo over to the couch and sat down next to him. You even made sure to sit close to him, close enough so you could lean into each other like a cute couple.

"I think I prefer your parents."

His words whispered in your ear earning a light chuckle from you. Your sister, the younger one, evidently didn't like how close you both were. With a harsh glare, she rolled her eyes again.

"How did you even meet? Seriously, I wanna know why he would downgrade to someone like you."

Natsuo scratched the back of his head awkwardly and nervously He didn't understand why your siblings were so mean to you. His father was a bastard, that closed you off, that he could get. Despite that, he and his siblings never put each other down like they were doing.

"More like she downgraded to me. We met in school, lab partners. She had all the boys chasing for her in school, but somehow she chose me."

Your sister scoffed and this time you rolled your eyes. She always gave you such shit over the littlest things. You didn't have the energy for this, at least not sober. You whispered into Natsuo's ear softly.

"I need a drink, you want one? We'll need it to get through the evening."

"If your alcohol mixing skills are anything like your chemistry mixing skills, then no."

"Meanie, I'm a great chemist, I practically carry our grade."

Natsuo chuckled against your cheek, before pulling back and kissing it. Again, a blush adorned your cheek with no way to hide it. It was brief and quick, but his cold lips ghosted against your cheek. All you could do was abruptly stand up with a smile on your face.

"I'm gonna go find an alcoholic beverage. I'll be right back, play nice with him."

Natsuo watched helplessly as you walked off into the distance. He sat there quietly, patiently waiting for you to come back. Natsuo was such a cool, calm collected guy, but alone with your siblings, he felt nervous. Seeing the way they acted with you gave him a bad impression of them, but he has to play nice because he was your boyfriend.

"You know, an alcoholic drink does sound great."

Your older sister stood up from the couch and walked off in the same direction as you did, the kitchen presumably, to make herself a drink as well. Soon, your brother left the room as well, your little sister bit her lip as she watched your brother walk off in the direction of the bathroom. She was quick to stand and in the place you once held occupied.

"My sister said play nice, but I'd rather play rough."

She slid her hand over his thigh and inched it closer to his crotch while she smiled up at him, nibbling on her lip.

"What are you doing? I'm here with your sister, I'm her boyfriend."

"Ugh, what do you even see in her? She's not even pretty."

Before Natsou could reply, before he could defend you, your sister climbed across his lip and planted her lips against his. He wasn't kissing her back, but with her on top of him, her pressing her face against his, and her fingers deeply gripping his clothes it was difficult to get her off of him. He wasn't kissing back, he was trying to push her off but as you walked up with two margaritas in hand all you saw was your fake boyfriend kissing your sister.

It hurt. It shouldn't have, but it hurt. He wasn't yours, not really. He was just your lap partner, your friend. He wasn't your boyfriend, you were just fake dating. He wasn't yours. He wasn't yours, but it hurt to see your sister all over him. He wasn't yours, but for the night he was supposed to be. He wasn't yours but for the sake of your lie you did what any girl would do after finding her boyfriend cheating on her: You dumped your margarita down the skank.

"[Brothers Name] is right, you are a slut! And you- you-"

As your sister pulled herself off of Natsuo she looked up at you shocked with alcohol dripping down her body, you ignored her and turned your attention to Natsou. Your eyes were blurry but you had to will yourself not to cry.

"I don't need you here. You can just leave."

You didn't wait for Natsou to get up and leaves nor did you want for him to talk and explain anything to you. You simply took off in the direction of your bedroom, slamming the door behind you. Natsuo quickly jumped up on his feet and took off in the direction of your bedroom. He didn't knock, he didn't wait for permission, he just busted in and ran over to you.

"If you want to make out with my sister, that's fine. I get it, she's pretty, she's hot, she's better than me. She's everything you'd want, but you were supposed to be here with me! You were supposed to be here as my boyfriend! My parents were supposed to think we're in love. You were supposed to be mine, I don't care if it's fake, you cheated with my sister!"

The tears were leaking down your cheeks as you yelled at him. No words could pass Natsuo's lips, no matter how hard he tried. They couldn't. Seeing your tears, a product of him hurt. It hurt. He hurt you. He was trying his best to shoot his shot, he was trying to subtly woo you.

"Your sister came on to me, I tried pushing her away. She's really is a snake, you said it yourself!"

You still sniffled as you nodded at him. He was right, you had said that. He was right, she is a snake and this is exactly what she would do just to screw with your life.

"I'm sorry, your right. I shouldn't have acted like that, you're not actually mine. Natsuo, I do need you, I need you here."

"What if I wanted you to really be mine?"

You sniffling stopped as Natsuo took closer steps to you. He placed his hands on your cheeks and pulled your lips against his. This was different from earlier. The kiss wasn't quick, it was long. It was long and passionate, yet cold. Despite your shivers, you found yourself leaning into him, into the kiss.

"You- You can't do that, it's against the rules."

"Screw the rules. I just- I wish you needed me every night of the year, not just Christmas."

Natsuo ran his hands through his hair nervously. He thought speaking against your father and defending you against your sister was enough to get his point across. This idea of verbally speaking it, it scared him. This was uncharted territory for him.

"I want you [Y/N]. I want you every day of the year. I want to kiss you on the lips, I want to hold hands, I want dates and hugs. I want more than chemistry class and Christmas gatherings."

"Then you can have me! Have me every day of the year. Be mine, every day of the year. Take me on a date, hold my hand, kiss my lips!"

Natsuo pulled you against him and your face collided with his chest. You buried your face in his chest as your arms wrapped around his body and a smile formed.

"Let's not fake date, be my actual girlfriend."

You leaned up and left a quick chaste kiss on Natsuo's lips with a smile.

"I don't want anyone else to be my actual boyfriend, I suppose you might say we chemistry."