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separatist-apologist · 2 years ago

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Still A Sunbeam

Summary: As a child, Elain Archeron is pushed into a pond by the heir to the Day Courts throne, Lucien Spell-Cleaver, and vows she'll never forgive him for it. But as an adult, Elain finds that if she wants out of an arranged marriage to a Spring Court prince, she will need Day Court's help. More is at stake than a decades-old rivalry, and when their home is threatened, Elain and Lucien will have to set aside old differences and work together

It was a dream and not a vision. She could wake herself up if she wanted—and Elain knew she ought to want that. Trapped in a room spun of gold and orange, her body pressed into a soft mattress by a hard, inviting body. Elain didn’t know which was worse—that it was Lucien Spell-Cleaver’s mouth on her neck, or that she was so unforgivably aroused that Elain didn’t pull herself back to consciousness.

Lucien was merely a manifestation of her kiss with Killian, Elain rationalized. His mouth moved the same way Killian’s had, though dream Lucien had taken things a step further by grinding himself into her. Elain couldn’t pretend she hadn’t been interested in the bulge in Killian’s pants.

Everyone she knew had divested themselves of their virginity the first chance they got.

Elain hadn’t, too afraid of disappointing her mother or her future husband. She’d held fast, a fact she immensely regretted now that she was cresting toward a familiar oblivion.

She might not have experience being with a male, but she understood what to do with her fingers well enough. Lucien was stimulating a similar experience with just his body, just his cock hidden beneath that white fabric draped over his hips. Elain ran her fingers through his hair and arched against him. She was going to come from just this alone.

She needed to.

“Lucien,” she breathed, the name strange on her tongue. He swallowed the plea with a ragged groan and Elain…

Elain was awake. Bright light poured through her closed eyelids while her body throbbed from unmet need. She tried to get back to that place, just long enough for Lucien to finish what he’d started, even as discomfort filled her stomach.

She didn’t think she wanted Lucien to get her off. Opening her eyes, Elain jolted back to reality. Arina was in bed beside her, bleary eyed and uncharacteristically rumpled. Elain wouldn’t say they’d become friends the night before, though she liked to think they were close to it, given Elain had held Arina’s thick hair off her face as she’d thrown up that evening.

Arina glanced over, a smile tugging against her pallid face. “Lucien, huh?”

Elain groaned. “How did you know?”

Arina adopted a high pitched, breathy voice as she teased, “Oh Lucien, don’t stop—”

Elain shoved at her, embarrassed beyond measure. “It’s not like that.”

“It’s okay if it is. Everyone at court wants Lucien in their bed—”

“Including you?” Elain demanded without ire, sitting up to rub the back of her neck. Arina’s smile faltered just a little.

“No,” she disagreed. “Not me.”

“Are you going to tell me what last night was about?” Elain questioned. Arina stiffened, reminding her that they weren't really friends, no matter how much she wished for the opposite.

“Are you going to tell me what happened with Killian?” Arina replied, thinking, perhaps, that Elain wouldn’t.

Helion had only demanded Lucien’s silence. It was risky—and yet it was the only leverage Elain had. If Arina betrayed her, she still had her bargain with the Lady of Day at least for the year. And after that, well…well Elain might try and run for the continent if she couldn’t figure anything else out.

“I’m a Seer,” she said plainly, holding Arina’s gaze. “And when Killian came to see me, I had a vision at his feet. He can’t know—”

“Because his father would lock you away,” Arina murmured softly, nodding her head.

“I kissed him as a distraction,” Elain said, which was true enough.

Arina took a deep breath. “Eris Vanserra is…”

Elain watched Arina take a breath and shake out her trembling hands. “Eris Vanserra and I…”

Elain scooted just a little closer, heart hammering in her chest. Stil, she didn’t speak as she waited for Arina to say the words that eluded her.

“Mates,” Arina finally managed, her eyes bright with unshed ears. “The bond it—”

“Oh,” Elain whispered. “Oh.”

Oh, but you look like one.

Arina rubbed the heel of her hand against her eyes.

“Have you spoken with him?”

“No,” Arina admitted, shifting beneath the white blanket they were still laying beneath. They were in her apartment in the city and Elain imagined Arina would continue to stay until Eris left. “I am afraid of what he might say.”

“I could chaperone,” Elain offered, straightening slightly. “Somewhere public—maybe in the garden. Quiet enough for privacy but not so quiet no one would hear if you screamed? You could…make your intentions plain to him?”

“Would you reject a mating bond?” Arina asked her. Elain’s stomach clenched at the thought. Mates were so rare to start with—everyone hoped to find theirs. Elain was not immune to it, having grown up in a home where the High Lord and Lady were mates and loved each other beyond reason, beyond sense. The High Lord was cruel to everyone—his children, his court, his friends.

But not his wife. Not his mate. And Helion and Amera, well…Elain wanted what they had so bad it made her teeth ache. It was clear Arina did, too. That all the hopes she’d had about her own life were being dashed at the realization that she’d been paired irrevocably with a Vanserra.

“In Autumn,” Arina continued, understanding Elain’s silence, “Females are the property of their mates—of males. It’s why Lady Amera couldn’t leave until the mating bond between her and Helion snapped.”

“We’re not in Autumn,” Elain reminded Arina helpfully. “He can’t do anything but court you.”

“He doesn’t seem like the courting type,” Arina admitted bitterly.

“Do you want me to arrange a meeting?” Elain asked.

“Yes,” Arina said after a long moment. “I…I just need to know what he’s thinking. And I need him to know I’m not going to Autumn.”

Witnessing a bond rejection sounded miserable and yet Elain only smiled. “Leave it to me.”

Arina and Elain eventually made their way back to the palace where it was still early enough she could smell breakfast wafting down the hall. She was tempted to follow it, starving after a night of too much drinking and not enough food. She might have, too, had she not stumbled into Killian and Lucien just at the end of the hall.

Lucien looked—gods, but he looked handsome. In a black waistcoat and well-tailored pants, there was something obscene about how his jacket laid against his neck, how he’d tied his hair off his face in a low ponytail. His hands flexed at his sides, unadorned with the usual jewelry. She was staring, she realized, but the more skin he covered, the more appealing he’d become.

“Elain,” Killian murmured, drawing her attention back to him. Lucien’s eyes glittered with amusement right until Killian lowered his mouth and pressed a kiss to her lips. Elain had been so busy looking at Lucien that she hadn’t realized what was happening.

Lucien turned away, his disgust plain.

“Are you going somewhere?” Elain asked, speaking to Killian even as she kept her eyes on Lucien.

He grinned, then. “Dawn,” he told her, eyes cutting toward Killain.

“Why?”

“Don’t you worry about that–” Killian began, caressing her face.

“A disturbance on the border,” Lucien said at the exact same time. Elain pulled from Killian to face Lucien entirely. He cut a look of warning to her and Elain understood this was how Lucien was getting rid of Killain for her. Take him to the border his territory shared with Dawn and when they returned, Killian would have to go.

Don’t ask to join us, she swore those russet eyes said.

“Good luck,” she said, noting the breath Lucien exhaled. He was getting to escape his mothers birthday on her account, and while Elain was certain deep, deep down Lucien could be a gentleman, she didn’t think this act of charity had anything to do with her.

He was trying to avoid his brothers.

“Will you come home for Calanmai?” Killian asked, unaware of how rigid Lucien went behind him. Elain did, though. She was still staring at the sharp edge of his jacket collar and how it brushed against the edge of his strong jaw.

“I…” She knew what he was asking. His father always picked his mother for the celebration, which left his four sons to choose among the rest of Spring. Maidens still lined themselves up, hoping for the High Lord's attention and settling for his sons when it was clear the mating bond still overrode his senses.

Elain knew if she was anywhere in Spring, Killian would find her. And she didn’t think she wanted her first time to be in the grass while a mindless male drove himself into her.

“Details to be worked out later,” Lucien interjected with a roll of his eyes. “We ought to leave if we want to be in Dawn in time for lunch.”

Killian offered Elain a sweeping bow while Lucien, impertinent as ever, merely winked in her direction.

“Think about it,” Killian murmured, taking her hand and squeezing softly. Elain felt as though she were drowning, trapped in a hell of her own making. She’d led him on and now he wanted her at Calanmai—he was courting her in earnest, then. And while Elain was imagining freedom at the end of the year, she knew Killian was imagining a wife.

“I will,” Elain lied, her decision already made. Killian offered her one last lingering look before trailing after Lucien, who was halfway down the hall. Elain would have to thank him for this later, even if she thought he’d only agreed because it benefited him personally.

She had a task, besides. Clearing her head of Killian and Calanmai, Elain began winding through the palace inquiring after Eris. Where was he?

In the library, of all places. Elain thought he’d become more handsome in the years since she’d seen him last. Fair, smooth skin, full lips and high cheekbones betrayed him as part of Beron Vanserra’s brood. That auburn hair, swept off his face gracefully, and the amber eyes, though? That was all Lady Amera. Eris was as tall as Lucien, towering over her as she approached, though built far leaner than the muscular Lucien. Handsome, though. Eris was still so, so handsome.

If it had been her, would she still think so? If a bond had snapped between her and Eris, would she be standing in the open atrium of the library marveling over his good looks? Or would she be hiding in the city, too?

Elain couldn’t answer that. Instead, she made her way toward the prince of Autumn, half hidden behind one of the tall stacks. A rather large book was held open in the palm of his hand, snapped shut when he saw her approaching.

For a moment, Elain thought she saw nothing but empty despair in Eris’s eyes. Certainly, even when he smiled there was no warmth—barely any life at all.

“Little Elain Archeron,” he said, grinning two rows of straight, pearly teeth at her. “All grown up.”

“Hi Eris,” she said, shyer than she’d meant. He was still the hero of her childhood and no matter what terrible things she’d heard about him, Elain always remembered the male who’d jumped in the pond after her, risking his own drowning death to save her.

“I saw Killian stalking the halls. Tell me this isn’t a stop on your honeymoon,” he said conspiratorially.

“No,” she rushed to assure him, unsure why. “He’s just visiting. Lady Amera has taken me under her wing.”

“What a fine place to be,” he said, though he stiffened ever so slightly. “Giving you access to her libraries, is she?”

“Yes,” Elain agreed. It occurred to her that Eris may have come to the library not in search of knowledge, but because he’d learned Arina was a scholar. “I uh…I’ve come to invite you to meet with Arina.”

His gaze sharpened. “Oh?”

“She wants to know if you’d like to talk in the garden.”

Eris had gone utterly still, clutching the book in his hand so hard Elain could see the whites of his knuckles.

“Why would I want to meet with her?” he finally asked. He’d become so, so cold and when he looked at her, there was a warning etched against his features. “She’s merely a scholar I have no interest in.”

“But–”

Eris tilted his head in warning, lips pressed in a thin line. “But?” he whispered, the word utterly deadly.

“What about…?” Elain had the sense she was missing something terrible. Eris reached for Elain, his long fingers curling around his wrist with just enough force to pull her further into the shadows.

“About nothing,” he swore, his voice barely above a whisper. “There is nothing to discuss—and whatever you heard, whatever she thinks is a mistake.”

Elain’s chest ached. “Eris.”

“Don’t meddle, Elain Archeron,” he warned her, releasing his grip on her wrist. “Just as I won’t when I meet with the High Lord of Spring next week.”

Elain met his gaze. “There is nothing you could say—”

“I heard you and my brother are working together. Alone?” Eris suggested, his eyes searching her own. “How lovely to see little Lucien, who has quite the reputation, take such an interest in you. I’m sure it means nothing…but I heard you two were alone together in the city last evening and you didn’t return until daybreak.”

“That’s cruel,” Elain said, stumbling back a step. “You wouldn’t dare.”

“I would dare, Elain. Whatever rumors you’ve heard about me are true. I am not your friend. And Arina means nothing to me.”

Elain looked down to his hands, trembling at his sides despite the cold, mocking expression on his face.

“Your secret is safe,” she murmured, swallowing hard. Elain turned to deliver the news to Arina—Eris was scared—when he caught her by the elbow. Bringing his mouth so close to her ear she could feel his lips brush her skin, he whispered, “Is she safe here?”

Elain only nodded, taking a breath. Eris released her and adjusted his jacket. “It was nice seeing you again, Elain. You’ve become radiant.”

Elain wished she could pay him the same compliment, but Eris looked miserable beneath his sneering countenance.

What in Autumn could be so awful that he’d rather reject his own mate than speak with her?

Elain hoped never to learn.

ERIS:

The sounds of a thudding base reverberating through glass sent Eris from his bedroom. He wasn’t the only one. His brothers had converged in the hall, dull eyed and exhausted from two days of trying—and perhaps failing—not to prove the High Lord of Day right about them. Eris knew very well what Helion Spell-Cleaver saw when he looked at them.

Proof of Beron Vanserra’s cruelty. Children forced on his mate that she’d never wanted and was still forced to deal with. Children who would never compare to his own son, to his mother’s favored child.

Eris had only been nineteen when his mother left. Connall had been six. Eris wondered how Helion reconciled that—that he’d stolen their mother from them when all but Eris was a boy. Cadmus had been fifteen and Tanwen ten. Were they truly damned already? Unsavable?

Or merely not worth the effort? Helion got his perfect family and Eris, who’d stepped in to try his best to shield his brothers from the worst of their fathers rage, refused to let Helion forget where his mate had come from.

For as long as Eris lived, Helion would never have true peace.

And neither would Eris, it seemed. Rubbing his temples, he considered just leaving. What was the point of another tense breakfast in which Helion guarded their mother, gold eyes watching every word to the point it was impossible to talk to her at all? Eris couldn’t determine if she’d asked Helion to do that, or if he simply hated them so much he did it all on his own.

“Should we…?” Tanwen asked, running a hand through his auburn hair nervously.

“No,” Eris whispered. Hidden just out of sight, they watched Helion Spell-Cleaver make his way past, unaware he was being watched. Eris swallowed his resentment that Helion didn’t need to think of such things—he wasn’t being spied on constantly.

“Come on,” he whispered, gesturing for his brothers to follow. He hoped they’d be able to steal a minute of their mothers time and wherever the High Lord was going, it wasn’t to meet his mate. His brothers fell in line, following him like they always had. If Eris could count on nothing else, it was their loyalty. At least for now, Eris didn’t worry about a knife in his back. Not when they were all fighting a common enemy—Beron Vanserra.

Eris knew the way to the High Lord’s chambers, having been granted access only once in the early years. He knocked, heart hammering in his throat.

Please be here, please be here, please—

“Come in,” came his mothers soft, lilting voice. Eris glanced at his brothers, with their squared shoulders and carefully blank faces. All of them, just like him, were reminding themselves not to get their hopes up. Pushing his way in, he found her sitting tucked into a chair just beside an empty fireplace, book in hand.

“Boys,” she said, relaxing when Eris had expected her to tense. Connall locked the door quietly behind them while Tanwen removed the axes from his back out of respect. Only for her—only here would they allow themselves this small show of vulnerability. “I was hoping we might…” she took a breath and marked her page before offering them her full attention. There was a guarded wariness to her eyes that made Eris feel a bolt of misery.

Did she think so little of them, too?

Cadmus stepped forward, hands behind his back. All eyes on their brother, who shared the most in common with Beron when it came to features. Their mother looked at him and Eris wondered—just as he knew Cadmus did—if his mother saw her son, or the husband she’d never wanted.

“Are you well?” Cadmus asked nervously.

She rose to her feet, her long white night dress skimming the marble floor beneath her bare feet. She went to him and though each of her sons were a good head and shoulders taller than her, she cupped Cadmus’s face.

“What price will he exact for your presence?” she whispered, brushing her thumb against Cadmus’s stubbled cheek.

All four of them looked away. That she knew at all was damning. All of Eris’s accusations rose in his throat, his resentment burning against the back of his eyes. None of them wanted to miss her—to love her. And yet standing in her presence, Eris felt like a little boy again, desperate for his mothers time and attention.

“Don’t worry about that,” Tanwen said earnestly, russet eyes bright. “Tell us about you.” It was safer to pretend they’d go home tomorrow and Beron would show only mild interest in how they’d spent their time.

But Eris knew what Beron had in store for them. He’d all but promised it with a sneer, irate they’d ever choose to see their mother when he loathed her so. The only satisfaction Beron was granted was thinking they made Helion miserable—which was pure truth. Still, they could pretend for her sake.

His mother patted the spot beside her and Cadmus practically tripped over his feet to sit beside her. The rest of them took up chairs, scooting close enough she could talk softly. She told them of life in Rhodes—of the bees that some of the gardeners had begun to keep and of her amusements in the palace. She spoke of Lucien fondly, and told them about Elain Archeron coming to court with eyes that spoke to her hope her youngest son might get something out of the Spring Court lady’s presence.

And she spoke of missing them. “I wish you could visit more often,” she’d said, gripping Cadmus’s hand with such earnest, unguarded affection.

Beside Eris, Connall’s chest rose and fell rapidly. “Why didn’t you take us with you?” he asked, his voice little more than a rasp of air.

“Connall,” Eris hissed, even though he, too, wanted to hear the answer. Surely it could have been just him who stayed?

His mother shook her head. “No, I…I’ve wanted to explain this. I’m sorry,” she added, eyes shifting from each of them. “I know Helion and Lucien…they mean well.”

None of the Vanserra’s dared to take a breath. They didn’t absolve her, but didn’t dare condemn her, either. They knew what their father was like, even if they wished for something different.

“I tried,” she whispered after a moment, elegant hands twisting in her lap. “I told Helion I was rejecting the bond—that I intended to remain in Autumn with your father.” Eris had never heard this story. It certainly wasn’t the way Beron Vanserra recalled events. One day his mother had been putting his brothers to bed and presiding over the ladies at court and the next she’d fled, gone in the night to Day and refused to return.

“Your father, he—”

He’d figured it out. Eris gazed at his mother, forcing her to hold his stare.

She swept her long, thick hair from her shoulders and tugged down one side of her sleep dress, revealing long, pink puckered scars trailed along her spine. All four of them recoiled, as if they didn’t have similar markings on their own body.

“Helion called a council of the High Lords after I managed to get out. I tried to bring you with me, but he’d hidden the four of you away. I couldn’t find you. And after, I begged him to forget—I swore I’d stay, that I didn’t want Helion, that—” Her breath caught in her throat.

“He would never have accepted it,” Eris said dully. Beron would have been insulted at the mere thought of another male’s claim to his wife.

“The High Lords took a vote on whether you would be allowed to come to Day with me,” she told them miserably, hands still twisting. “Eris was never part of that conversation—given you were Beron’s heir and mostly grown, they argued you had to stay.”

“And the rest of us?” Connall asked, gripping the arm of his chair so tightly he was in danger of breaking it.

“Six of them voted for you to stay in Autumn,” she whispered, a tear streaking down her cheek.

“Six?” Eris repeated, his stomach lurching. “Who—”

“Helion,” she whispered, unable to look at them. “He argued to bring the rest of you here. He said—he said you were so little. He offered to instruct you but…but the others felt there was a chance Eris wasn’t Beron’s heir, and a foreign court had no business raising another High Lord’s progeny. So you all stayed where I wasn’t allowed to speak to you and I hoped…”

The air was so thick, so heavy with her regrets. Connall rose to his feet and crossed the gap between them. Falling to one knee, he took their mothers hand in his own and laid a kiss against her skin.

“We know what he’s like,” Connall whispered treasonously. “We just…”

It was so painful, watching the five of them try and repair so much hurt. Eris’s stomach clenched tightly, the words trapped in his throat.

“We just want to spend time with you,” Connall finally managed, eyes dropping to the ground as shame heated his cheeks. They shouldn’t need her—or even want to need her. And yet they did. They were no better than children right then, hoping and wishing for affection.

She closed her eyes, allowing two tears to glide over her cheeks. “I have been so afraid I’ve…I’ve held you all at arm's length. How could you not—I would be so angry if it were me—” She looked up at Eris with those knowing eyes. “You shouldn’t presume so much,” he managed, hating how his voice cracked.

She nodded, mouth open to say something else. Whatever it might have been remained, as Helion Spell-Cleaver stepped through the doors at that precise moment.

All heads turned to look at him. Eris surveyed the High Lord cooly, imagining him at that meeting with six other High Lords, arguing on behalf of children he didn’t want. It didn’t make them even—Helion had never been kind, only cordial. Distant and cold, with eyes that betrayed how little he trusted them. Even then, a wariness slid over his features as he looked to his sniffling mate.

“What’s going on in here?”

“Just catching up,” their mother said, a bright smile on her beautiful face. “The boys were asking me about the bees.”

All four Vanserra’s had slid their masks over their faces. Connall, still kneeling before their mother, rose to his feet gracefully. “We’re thinking of starting a garden back home.”

Lies, of course. Helion turned to look at Eris, his wariness and distrust enough to make Eris stand. He’d never be free of this place. Long after his mother died, Lucien would still be around as a reminder of what she could have had—and Arina, too.

Fucking Arina.

“We’ll take our leave.”

“You don’t…” Helion trailed off as all four stood.

“Better than being watched like animals,” Tanwen snarled, reaching for his axes.

“Boys—”

“Another time,” Cadmus told her. They’d gotten some answers and some time, short as it was. Helion looked almost apologetic as they filed out, leaving her behind in her bedroom. Would she tell her mate what they’d asked? How she’d seen their hurt, if only for a minute.

“I’m going to fuck something,” Connall said after a second, snapping his head in the direction of the thudding music. Eris wanted to join, to lose himself to the pleasure of a slick body beneath his own.

He couldn’t. Fuck him, but the mere thought of touching someone else made his skin crawl. While his brothers branched off, Eris made his way toward the back gardens and the winding, sandy path toward the beach. The air was muggy, causing Eris to shed his jacket for the white shirt beneath.

At home, the water was too cold to swim in. Here, though, Eris could shed his boots and socks, roll his pants to his knees, and wade into bath warm water. He sighed loudly, the sound swallowed by the crashing waves around him. Moonlight brushed his cheek, lulling him into a false sense of security.

It was the wind that dragged that vanilla and lime scent. The musky sweetness of someone that didn’t belong to him. He heard the soft jangling of jewelry, and when he turned, there she was. Glimmering even in the dark, like a sunbeam made manifest. Her name was Arina. Elain had told him that.

He couldn’t stop looking as she approached. Little gold bracelets adorned her wrists and ankles, while a low slung skirt made it seem as if her hips swayed with each slow step. She wore nothing over her midriff, her breasts hidden beneath sheer fabric and well placed, gold dusted pearls. Eris swallowed hard—a breeze ruffled her thick, long hair, dragging it over her obscenely beautiful face.

She means nothing to you.

If Beron learned of her, there would be hell to pay. Besides, he reminded himself—Lucien had touched her so possessively that Eris was almost certain they were together. Just like always,

Lucien got everything Eris wanted.

She came to stand beside him, gazing out at the water with unreadable eyes. Eris didn’t say a word, unsure what he even could say. He’d told Elain Arina was nothing to him—and he’d meant it, even if it pained him.

“I saw you walk out,” she finally said, her voice as soft as the whispering wind. “Your brothers went to dance. Do—do you not dance?”

He glanced over at her. “I’m not interested in the revelry.”

Her lips formed a soft oh, one he didn’t dare read into. She didn’t want him. It was why she’d sent Elain in her place to arrange a meeting. Eris squared his shoulders and straightened his spine. Not all mates were a good match, he reminded himself. He could envision no path for either of them that didn’t end in pain.

He was so stupid—so incredibly stupid for asking, “Do you dance?”

She shifted her weight, jangling ever so slightly. Of course she did. She looked exactly like the dancers Helion often employed. Eris could imagine how devastating she was. The thought made his chest tight, made his hands clammy.

“Yes,” she murmured, turning her eyes back to him. Eris wished she wouldn’t. He wished she’d run away like everyone else did. He kept his focus on the inky horizon, certain she’d realize he wasn’t good company and take off. If she’d been any other female, Eris would have said something cruel to scare her off. He couldn’t bring himself to do it—not when he knew a broken bond was hanging between them.

“Elain told me what you said,” Arina finally murmured, turning to face him fully. “Why?”

“I thought you’d be grateful,” Eris replied, hating how quickly his heart was beating. He was scared. All he wanted was what his mother had—that small bit of peace in their shitty world. And he was going to lose it before he’d ever even started. He’d never get her back—and he’d spent the rest of his life wanting her, wishing he’d been someone else.

“I thought you’d throw me over your shoulder and make me your wife,” she snapped. Eris suppressed the urge to groan, rounding on her. She was a good head shorter than him and somehow made him feel like the sand beneath her bare feet.

“Is that what you want?” he asked, advancing like a predator. Arina held her ground.

“Why you?”

He laughed. “Why me? Are you lamenting that you’re trapped with a future High Lord? I thought this was the sort of thing females dreamed about.”

She put her hands on her hips, unaware of how close Eris came to falling to his knees. “Mates are equals. You’ll be High Lord but I—”

He wondered that, too. “Show me,” he said instead, because he knew there was magic simmering just beneath the warm gold of her skin.

“You first,” she replied, teeth sinking against her plush bottom lip. Practically preening, Eris erupted in flame, igniting the beach in brutal, shimmering heat. Light erupted through the inky dark, illuminating Arina’s beautiful face in a warm, orange glow. Eris let it flow through him, bathed in that ancient magic that marked him.

A warm wind tickled his face, threatening to make a wildfire out of him. He didn’t recognize, at first, that the air was manipulated until Eris choked and the flame extinguished from his form. It was her—the architect of his destruction, the engineer of his fury. Eris fell to his knees, lips pressed together even when his lungs ached for a breath. He wouldn’t give her the satisfaction of seeing him beg.

He was already on his knees, after all.

Arina released her choking hold and Eris gasped, eyes closing. For a moment, he allowed himself to imagine what kind of offspring they’d produce.

Eris rose to his feet, wiping sand from his knees. “Have you been sufficiently answered?” he rasped.

“No,” she admitted, shaking out her hand carefully.

“Break it, then,” Eris said dismissively, ignoring how his throat felt as though it were coated in sand. “I won’t stop you.”

He turned, intending to reach for his jacket and his boots and storm back inside while she shouted it at his back.

You’re unworthy of a mate. You know you are. This is for the best.

Arina caught his wrist, unaware of how that little touch ignited the heat in his blood. Eris didn’t turn, though he did look down to where their skin connected.

“Is that what you want?” she asked, creeping just a little closer. She was so young, so unaware of how much worse things could be. Safe—cosseted by Helion and his younger brother. And yet out here with him. Eris knew the things people whispered about him. The rumors he never bothered to clear up, that he was content to let swirl if only to pacify his father.

“Yes.”

Arina didn’t drop his arm, nor did Eris pull away. Their eyes collided and Eris was nearly overwhelmed with the urge to push her into the sand and kiss her. To fuck her right then and there until she was drenched in his scent and his come.

“You’re a liar, Eris Vanserra,” she whispered, condemnation dripping from every word.

“So? You still get what you want, so who cares?”

“You’re so sure you know what I want?” she challenged. Eris snapped, reaching for her waist to pull her against him. Arina’s gasped as his hand spanned her throat, fingers tracing her lips as he tilted her back and brought his mouth so close to her own he was all but kissing her.

“Oh? Is this what you want, Arina? To fuck me in the sand—be my pretty Autumn wife and bare my brood?”

She pressed a hand to his chest, pushing him back. Eris held fast, because he needed her to see what a mistake this way. To imagine any goodness was folly—this was all she’d ever get.

“Tell me, mate. Is this what you want, to—”

She shoved at him hard, wind pushing him further with the help of an angry gust of wind. “I’m not afraid of you.”

He wanted to fuck her so bad. Eris stumbled back, wiping at his face as if she’d struck him. “Then you’re stupid,” he spat, certain this would be the moment he looked back on when he wondered when he’d fallen in love with her. That didn’t stop him from turning on his heel before he could act on impulse.

“Everyone is afraid of me.”

#elucien #elucien fanfic #you guys are so far behind and its bothering me #so here let me help catch you all up #bonus chapter this week answering your most burning question: whats the fucking deal with eris?

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honey-on-your-tongue · 2 years ago

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Abby Anderson headcanons with fem reader. Fluffy and smutty maybe?? And also when they meet? Please and thank you

Abby Anderson 😩😩😩

---

Soso, meeting Abby

You definitely meet either in the gym (AU) or you tresspass into WLF territory and she catches you

Her first reaction is that you're gorgeous, absolutely fucking beautiful, and then she's confused and internally flustered because why is she feeling like this???

Would probably be a little meanish in the beginning as you two get to know each other, but you'd slowly make a place for yourself in her heart and she'd get all soft for you

She still tries to fight her feelings for you, no matter how intense

She asks you out, somewhat resigned about the fact that she can't get you out of her mind and worried that you'll say no.

Of course you don't say no. Your eyes light up and you blush gently as you softly say, “I thought you'd never ask, Abs.”

And she's delighted and a little flustered because how did she get someone as amazing as you to fall for her?

Fluffy hc

Abby is the type to get home after a long day of work and just seek you out in your shared apartment. She'll pick you up, not caring what you're doing, and carry you to the bed. Ignoring your giggles of, “Babe, I'm making dinner!” or “Hey, I gotta finish this.” Then, she'll lie both of you on the mattress, cuddling up beside you or on top of you or under you, so long as she can nuzzle her face into your neck and kiss your shoulder.

She loves to take you on dates. Picnic dates, watching movies at home dates, taking you out to eat at your favorite place, sometimes even cooking with you and opening a bottle of wine as you eat.

She adores to braid your hair. She'll be gentle about it (regardless of whether your hair is curly or straight, long or short) she's always making sure it doesn't even hurt. And she loves it when you do her hair. You're the only other person beside herself who has the permission to undo her braid and run your fingers through her hair after a long day.

She'll shower with you, fussing over washing you and giving you soft massages as she does.

She loves to hold you, kiss you, just have you close. Be it a finger hooked around the belt loop of your jeans or an arm around you, a hand in your back pocket or intertwining her fingers with yours. She loves to keep you close, to feel you close. And she loves to make it clear to everyone else that you're hers.

If you've had a long day, she'll help you change into comfy clothes. She'll give you a back rub, she'll cook for you and she'll watch whatever you want to watch. And then, she'll cuddle you to sleep, or, if you want, she'll hear you vent about your day, giving you little kisses on your face and caressing your arms.

Every morning when she wakes up, she'll look over at you and smile the widest smile ever. She's just so in love with you.

And speaking of love, the first time she says it to you it's totally natural. She doesn't even realize it. You're lying in bed, I'm her arms, telling her some story or another and you're laughing. And she laughs along and just says, “I love you.” And you freeze, eyes shining and wide as you stare up at her, and then she'll realize what she said and she'll blush slightly. You'll kiss her, straddling her hips, holding her close and say, “I love you, Abs.” Ever since, she says it whenever she can. She says it all the time.

She lends you her hoodies, her shirts, her pants—everything. She loves seeing you wear her clothes, loves how they fit you, and she especially likes to strip you of them later 😏

She'll probably never tell you, but she likes to think of both of you as old women, still together, living peacefully in a farm or a small cabin, and it's the only future she can envision. It only means something if you're with her.

NSFW hc

Abby is a top and nobody can convince me otherwise.

She loves to have you under her, your nails digging into her back as she fucks you raw with her eight inch pink strap-on.

She also loves to have you on top, watching your body all bare for her as you ride her, and she loves that she can see your pretty pussy all wet as you take her cock.

She adores every single sound you make. She'll go to extra lengths to get you to whine, mewl, to gasp her name. She loves the way it leaves your lips. Sometimes, when she's away from home for a night or two on duty, she'll touch herself at the memory of you crying her name.

She likes to take you from behind, her huge hands splayed over your ass, occasionally spanking the flesh as she fucks into you.

One time, you'd turned the tables, offering to use the strap-on on her, and she'd agreed. She's too shy to tell you, but she loved the way you fucked her. You know, though. And you offer to fuck her more often now, to which she quickly consents.

She loves the taste of you. She'll eat you out for hours, never getting enough of you. She makes you come over and over and over again until you're shaking and can't remember your own name.

She has nothing against you eating her out. She loves when you do it, loves to feel your tongue and lips on her pussy, and the sight of you between her thighs drives her insane. She's just a little embarrassed of how loud she is when your mouth is on her pussy, so she's a little shy about it. You never mind, though. You love hearing her cry out and writhe at your touch.

At some point in your relationship, you found out that Abby has never squirted. So you made it your personal mission to assist her. And the first time she did it, she'd been so surprised about it that her eyes had grown wide and her cheeks had gone a bright pink. You'd lapped it all up, delighted, and the memory is forever seared into her mind. You make her squirt whenever you can, relishing in the look of ecstasy on her face.

And of course, aftercare with Abby is simply the best. She'll clean you up with a warm, wet towel. She'll give you a bath. She'll massage you and apply lotion all over your skin before dressing you in one of her shirts and a pair of sweats. She'll lull you to sleep, repeating how proud she is of you, how you always do so well, and reminding you how much she loves you. She always manages to get you to fall asleep in her arms, held in her kind embrace and feeling safe and loved.

-----

Blog masterlist

#abby anderson #abby the last of us #abby x you #abby x fem!reader #abby x reader #abby tlou #inbox <3

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hummingbird-of-light · 1 year ago

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Against All Odds

Part 721

McCoy

McCoy sat in class trying to focus, but his mind kept replaying something Scotty had said the evening before.

…my future husband…

He looked around and hoped no one in class had heard the noise that had just tried to escape him. His face heated knowing how embarrassing that would be.

But he couldn’t help it. The words made his chest swell. McCoy had thought calling Scotty his fiancé was wonderful and he knew of course that would change to husband before too long, but the word had never really settled in his mind like it had the night before. Maybe it had taken Scotty saying it to really sink it in.

He really tried to keep a dopey smile off his face, but he knew he wasn’t being very successful.

A message blinked on his PADD just before lunch. A glance at the screen showed it was from the king. McCoy would read it as soon as class was done.

He sat as the other students gathered their things and left the room. Opening and reading the message quickly it was no more than he thought. A time to call that evening. McCoy grabbed his own things and hurried from the room to find Scotty. He fought back another grin.

He caught up with Scotty near the dining hall.

“Hey darlin’,” he called softly as he came up behind him.

“Hello Len,” Scotty said, looking over.

“What’s wrong?” McCoy asked, instantly worried. He stopped and reached for Scotty’s arm. Even if he was worried about Scotty agreeing to a video interview, he knew they were back on solid ground with each other. He maneuvered them both to a nearby alcove.

“What’s happened?” McCoy searched Scotty’s face for clues.

“Aaron found me before class.”

“Oh?”

“He apologized.” Scotty paused and looked at the ground before looking back at McCoy. “I told him I didn’t forgive him but I would accept it if he’d say the same to Robbie.”

McCoy nodded. “That’s good. I’m sure he will.”

“I still don’t like him,” Scotty said quietly.

“I know leannan, but he’s trying.” McCoy leaned in and pulled Scotty close. “Father has a time he wants to talk to us tonight.”

They began to move again for the dining hall.

“What do ye suppose he’ll say?”

“Hopefully when people are going to start apologizing,” McCoy bit out.

“Where- where do ye think we’ll have to give the interview?” Scotty’s words came out tight with worry.

“Oh,” McCoy said in surprise. “I don’t know. Here I would guess. They wouldn’t want to make us miss school.”

“Could be a weekend. At the palace,” Scotty said as they sat down.

“Where would be more comfortable?” McCoy asked, keeping his voice down for only Scotty to hear. “Where would you feel safer?”

“Scotty?”

Robbie sat down next to his brother before he could answer McCoy. Scotty rested his hand on McCoy's knee, and turned to face his brother. Robbie asked something in Gaelic, but McCoy was sure he knew what it was about considering he heard Aaron’s name.

“You’ve got some power,” Uhura said admiringly as she and Christine watched Jocelyn leave the lounge in a huff.

McCoy gave a brief smile as he sat down with Scotty.

“In a way,” he answered. “That was mostly Father’s doing. I’m sure her parents, too,” he added as an afterthought. He remembered David’s words about the Darnells understanding what the palace could do if necessary.

“Well it’s about time!” Christine agreed.

“Yes,” McCoy answered quietly, squeezing Scotty’s fingers next to him.

Part 722

Scotty

It was nice to see that it was now Jocelyn hiding away from Leonard. Scotty had always been taught not to be mischievous, but that girl didn't deserve it any other way. After everything she had done to Leonard... she had no place at this school.

Some girls followed her, so did Pete and his friends. But Scotty assumed that some people would never learn. It was a way of life. One he would never understand.

"You think she'll leave the school?" Uhura asked, but Leonard sighed and shook his head.

"I honestly doubt that. Jocelyn is not the person to give up just like that. She's taken a hit. She'll cry for a bit. But I'm quite sure that she'll get up and fight again."

Scotty could hear the slightest hint of despair in his fiancé's voice and he moved closer to him.

"Well, we won't let her win. Never."

A soft smile crossed Leonard's face and he leaned in for a kiss which Scotty gladly returned. He was so glad that they had talked everything out.

Once their lips parted, the prince got to his feet, pulling his fiancé along.

"Well then... I guess we gotta go now. See you tomorrow, ladies."

He gave both Christine and Uhura a princely nod and they chuckled.

"See ya, your highness," Christine said with a wink before the girls waved after the two of them.

"Good evening, boys," David greeted the two of them when his face appeared on the screen. He looked exhausted from his day, but quite friendly.

"Father."

"Sir."

A smile crossed the king's face when he heard Scotty address him with a title once again.

"Scotty, it is quite alright, if you call me by my name. After all, you'll soon enough be my son-in-law."

A blush crept onto Scotty's cheeks and he didn't dare to look at the king. It was too awkward to call someone with the man's status by his name.

"But-"

"Please, Scotty. I would appreciate it very much. And... I wouldn't feel so old," David said with a chuckle and eventually Scotty nodded.

"O-okay, si- David."

He didn't get the word out too easy, but he knew that he'd get used to it, sooner or later.

The king's smile brightened at hearing that. He gave Scotty a grateful nod.

"So, you wanted to talk about the upcoming interviews, right?"

Both boys nodded.

"Well, first of all, I talked to the Darnells and the other girl's family. Official apologies will go out this Friday. Both girls have been informed about it."

That would be yet another explanation for Jocelyn's reaction at the lounge.

"As for your interviews, I think they should follow shortly after."

"Yeah, we... thought maybe at a weekend? Then... we could come to the palace," Leonard carefully suggested and David seemed to think about it for a moment.

"Well, I'm sure we can arrange that."

"But-"

All eyes fell on Scotty as he interrupted the king. He instantly blushed again.

"But... we have to ask my mum if she has time, too."

At that, David raised an eyebrow.

"Francine?"

Scotty nodded slowly.

"A-aye. I... cannae do it alone. I'm not ready yet to talk to reporters on my own and since Leonard cannot be with me..."

For a moment Scotty just stared at David. What would the king say?

#star trek #montgomery scott #leonard mccoy #scones #au #against all odds

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togoldlilya · 4 months ago

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Because I love you okay?

"because i love you idiot" the words are said without thought, unable to listen to the self deprecation any longer. "i love you so much i don't even know how to act around you most of the time. you make my heart hurt whenever you're near, and you calm me down so easily it scares me sometimes. you never judge me for how i act or what i say, and i know i can tell you anything. you never fail to make me laugh and you always seem to know what to say. i always want to see you when i wake up or go to sleep, i think about you when you're gone, and when i see something you would like. i always try to know your likes and interests and the things you hate, so i can avoid them. god toge i cant stop thinking about you and i can't imagine a future that you're not in! i love you toge so please don't ever think anything else" her passionate words leave him speechless, mouth agape in shock, cheeks steadily turning cherry red.

"natto... tsuna ikura shouyu... okome" he struggles to find his words, pointing at her, determination obvious on his face. "okome natto, ikura okome" tears unwillingly come to sayaka's eyes in shock and happiness, but toge thinks she dosent understand and starts to panic. "okaka! okaka! natto okome! okome!" he gestures wildly, making her giggle through her tears.

"toge... i'm so happy you feel the same way" wiping away the tears that fell, toge sighs in relief making her giggle even more. "you're so silly kiki" without anymore words he steps closer to her, intent clear in his actions. he believes she'll understand, after all she always was the best at understanding him. her hands come up to rest on his shoulders, his own at her waist, holding it so delicately. she moves to cup his cheek, caressing it softly, as she nods her assent. not wanting to wait anymore he pulls down his sweater and eagerly presses his lips to hers. she jumps at the sudden action making toge chuckle against her lips, a smile growing on her own as their eyes fall closed. his thumbs begin to rub soothing circles on her hips as he presses closer to her, lips moving excitedly. her free hand begins to play with the hair at the back of his neck making him shiver at the feeling. she never wants this feeling to end, the sea of calm she seems to have fallen into to, floating further and further out to the depths, unsure if she even wants to be saved. his hand slides fully around her waist to hold her to him and she decides that, no, she doesn't want to be saved, she would rather drown out here then be pulled out to cough and sputter and try to survive without the water that is currently giving her life. hesitantly she pulls away, unable to stop herself as she peppers sticky sweet kisses across his cheek. they're breathing heavily as they make eye contact, unable to hold back the laughter at their energetic actions. she buries her face in his shoulder and they hold eachother tight, just basking in eachothers love for just a moment, later they would deal with all the emotions and deep discussions, but right now, during this perfect moment, all they need is this. smiling to herself sayaka can't help but feel giddy, squeezing toge until he grunts at the pressure that's forcing all the air out his lungs.

"natto okaka-" the moment broken, he squrims trying to escape her embrace. laughing she tightens her grip, fervently pressing more feather light kisses against his cheeks making him laugh at the ticklish feeling, resulting in sayaka doubling down just to hear more of his laughter.

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ask-butterscotch-and-friends · 8 months ago

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Finn, what are you and Butterscotch going to do about this “rumour”?

The Rest of Our Lives, Part 6

"If I want to know whether or not this rumor is true, there's only one thing I can do...and that's contact my mother and get to the bottom of it myself." Finn explains.

"Finn, I can't let you contact your mom...not after everything she's put you through. Talking to her again will only cause you to break down..." Butterscotch says to Finn.

"Butterscotch, amour, it's the only way I'll know for sure."

"Maybe we can find another way? Something that involves...not putting yourself in contact with the person who abused you?" Butterscotch suggests.

"I don't...think there is another way. It's either this, or I just sit there and try to blow it off as just a rumor without ever truly knowing. I'm losing enough sleep as is...I need to know, and this is the only way." Finn sighs softly.

"Finn...are you sure?" Butterscotch asks.

"We're getting married soon...and moving states right after. Planning our future together. This is supposed to be a happy time for both of us. How am I supposed to be happy when all I can think about is this?" Finn asks.

"...You do have a good point..." Butterscotch sighs.

"I just need to make one phone call...that's it. If it's not true, then I can put this to rest, move on like nothing happened. If it is, then I get information about my real father...see if I can meet him. Either way, after this phone call, I never have to speak to her or ANYONE from my family ever again."

"But Finn...that's assuming she'll even tell you anything. For all we know, she might hang up on you before you even get the chance to ask any questions."

"Maybe...but I need to at least try, right?"

"...If that's what you really want to do? I won't make any decisions for you. This is up to you, love...and you know I'm going to be here to support you no matter what happens."

Butterscotch pulls Finn into a loving, warm embrace. Finn returns the hug without hesitation, burying his face into the demon's shoulder.

"I love you, Finn..." Butterscotch says softly.

"And I love you, too..." Finn looks up at Butterscotch with that same sweet smile he was known for...before addressing Butterscotch by his true name. A name that sounded sweet on his lips, a name that Butterscotch loved to hear him say...

"Elliott..."

#Butterscotch and Friends #Butterscotch Sweeney #Finn Reed #BAF Lore #The Rest of Our Lives #ask #anon #Butterscotch's Name Reveal

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traegics · 7 months ago

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There's a contemplative look against her features at his words, head tilting to the side slightly as she hummed, soft sigh easing from her lips. "I don't know how she'd feel honestly," Sky admits. "I don't know if she even has the ability to be pissed, if she does- I've never seen it. I just don't want to trudge up the past and upset her. Especially if all she wants is to move on with her life. I just don't think I can move on, kind of like I'm stuck in the past. I crave closure, I want to find the people that killed them, I want to find my brothers but I don't even know where to start." Her heart ached deeply for her losses, for the unknown and the injustice. She had once held so much hope for the future but now it just seemed bleak and she was merely trying to survive each day that passed.

She could see the visible freezing of his frame, head tilting slightly as she waited for his answer before he's moving and her gaze is falling to his scar lined torso. She pushed off the counter, feet pulling her frame closer to his own as digits hesitantly rise to trace over the risen skin, brows furrowing deeply as her gaze was set intensely on the marks until his words pull her gaze upwards to his own and hands return to her side. Sky blue hues reflected the pain and sorrow she felt for him and she'll give a shake of her head. "How old were you," Skyla questions curiously, the sensation of the scars beneath her touch still very much felt in her fingertips. "Scars are battle wounds, they tell a story but doesn't make it any less unfair that this happened to you." Brows dip again as she tilts her head curiously at his words, what was it that he did exactly? She didn't want to pry too much and she already felt like she was pushing a little too far but it's as they say, curiosity killed the cat. "And what is it that you do," the fairy questions softly, almost inaudibly. Her gaze follows his movement as he reaches for one of the cupcakes, a smile being allowed to form against her features as she eagerly awaited his opinion on them. "Yeah, I mean, I just dabble in baking," the blonde shrugs with a soft flutter of laughter. "What can't I do? Oh man, that's a tough one. Let's see-" Her words trail off as she pretends to really think about it before allowing laughter to fill the air surrounding them and shaking her head. "I actually don't know how to drive a car," she admits. "Growing up in foster care you don't really- have the same opportunities as other kids."

Now that they established honesty as foundation for their future interactions, Matt felt more at ease. There was a part of him that was hardwired to distrust, even the most trustworthy of people, but right now a bigger part of him felt like she could be someone worth the try. Someone to prove him wrong. So he would go against his better judgment. And he would let her in, as much as 'in' would allow. -- A smile, genuine smile, soft in nature, enters his lips as she speaks and he'll shake his head in reassurance. "I don't think it's selfish. Wanting to protect people you care about. I mean, if she ever found out she'd be pissed that's...a price of secrets but, you have a good reason. Telling her now wouldn't do her...or you -- any good, would it?" it was pretty simple, when put in a perspective. And all secrets came with a price. Skyla knew that, he was certain of it. Every beautiful creature, every happy creature, held their fair share of secrets.

Being asked to reveal his scars again, causes him to freeze for a moment. It was one thing for him to offer them, another entirely for someone to actually pay attention. And there's a tinge of insecurity as he lifts up his shirt, unable to look at them himself, and his eyes will focus on hers, awaiting a reaction to pass her features for him to read. She still puzzled him, her eagerness to know him, to be friends with him, her certainty that there was something in him that was worth it -- in spite everything he'd said, everything he'd done. It was uncomfortable, but also...good in a way. After Gabi, after what he'd done to her, what he exposed of himself to her, he was more careful not to fuck up again. Not to say too much, too many wrong things. "Nasty right?" he'll finally speak, in reference to his scars, and let his shirt fall down again. "It's a good thing though. Scars. They're a reminder...a pretty fuckin' good one. -- They help me do what I do..." he'd suddenly realised she perhaps didn't know -- that he was a hunter. That he spent every waking moment since that night working for an organisation making sure what happened to him would never happen to anyone else. And he realised, just as suddenly, that he cared for her opinion more than he liked to admit. Her thoughts of him. The way she looked at him. It caused a certain fear to settle in. Like if he told her, she too would not look at him the same. So he smiles and reaches for an oreo cupcake, digging in with hopes she'll not ask him to elaborate any further. "Oreo's great. You made these yourself? Man, what can't you do?"

#c. Mattias #~WHO YOU ARE IS NOT WHERE YOU'VE BEEN YOU'RE STILL AN INNOCENT; SKYLA FAIRLIGHT

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inmyfxith · 3 years ago

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Link, Part II.

Pairing: Ragnarssons x sister!reader

Warnings: Death (canon)

Words: 1 741

Part. I, Part. III, Part. IV, Part. V, Part VI, Part. VII, Part. VIII.

Farewell. A simple word to express so much. Usually, it was used to say goodbye to someone you were sure, or not, to see again. You were sure you would see Hvitserk alive again, you had seen him come back to you in one of your dreams and yet you had said goodbye to him a few minutes before he left for the Mediterranean.

Despite this, you still prayed to the gods that his journey would be successful. Standing on the dock with your mother, Ubbe and Sigurd, Hvitserk took you in his arms and lifted you off the ground. He didn't react when you said goodbye, probably thinking it was your way of showing concern.

You had said goodbye to Bjorn earlier in the day, you were not that close to each other. Bjorn was not like Ubbe. His attitude towards you depended on the moment, sometimes he was distant while other times he was more affectionate, putting his hand behind your head or helping you when you needed it. As the boats gradually left the harbor, you stayed to watch them disappear until you saw none.

To make you think of something else, Ubbe proposed you go hunting with him. This was quite unusual, you knew how to use a bow but most of the time your brothers went hunting with each other. You accepted, always happy to spend time alone with Ubbe. Hunting was a big word you were not able to kill a single animal. It was more like a walk in the woods, a special time when you could talk to your brother about anything without fear of being judged.

"Do you think one day I'll leave too?" you asked as Ubbe inspected an old trap he had set during a previous hunting trip with your brothers.

"Where do you want to go?" You shrugged, looking with disgust at the inert body of a rabbit Ubbe had just tossed over his shoulder.

"I've never been anywhere but Kattegat, just going to Hedeby would be a great adventure." Your brother chuckled before frowning at how worried you seemed. He walked over to you, the rabbit's corpse still strapped to his shoulder. Lifting your chin to force you to look at him, his other hand came to rest on your shoulder.

"Why are you asking all these questions about leaving?"

"Mother told me about marriage. You know her, she'll never marry me to someone from Kattegat, so I'm bound to be sent somewhere else."

It was true, your mother did have the idea of marrying you off as tradition demanded. You had entered a turning point in your life and your childhood was now behind you. Your father had never really been part of your life, so it was up to your mother to choose your future husband.

Removing his hand from your chin, taking the time to search for the right words to reassure you, Ubbe placed himself next to you, his arm around your shoulders as he pulled you against him.

"You know what, no matter where she sends you I'll come with you." You smiled softly, your gaze still low. Seeing that you didn't respond verbally to his proposal, Ubbe pulled you close before kissing the top of your head.

"Everything is going to be okay, I promise." The two of you stayed like that for a little while. You needed reassurance and Ubbe was always the one who was best at accomplishing that task.

Back in the Great Hall, Sigurd had gently mocked you for bringing back only a rabbit when you had been gone for several hours.

The time has finally come to say goodbye to Ivar. The idea of accompanying him had not even crossed your mind. You didn't know how to fight, defend yourself when you needed to was alright, but you weren't ready to face an enemy on purpose.

On the dock, your mother took your hand, as if she was trying to reassure you. In reality, it was Aslaug who needed reassurance. There was a look of concern on her face, an expression that was absent when Hvitserk left. The question of whether your mother would be as concerned about your departure crossed your mind. Maybe she had seen something you didn't know.

In the few days following the departure of Ivar and Ragnar, you spent your days sitting on the edge of the dock waiting for one of them to return. Your fears intensified when a storm blew in one night. As Thor unleashed his anger, your heart broke, imagining for a moment that you had potentially lost one or more of your family members. And, when you woke up the next morning, your eyes were still red and swollen.

"I warned him, I told him not to go. The gods punished Ragnar and took my Ivar away." Hidden behind the wall that separated your room from the main hall, you perceived the conversation between Ubbe and your mother. Her voice was trembling, she was crying. She rarely cried, as if she was repressing her emotions. You only knew joy, anger, and worry but not sadness.

"This is not the first time faðir has gone to sea and fallen into a storm. I'm sure they are fine." Ubbe's comforting words were not enough to calm your mother. Sigurd remained silent as if the possible disappearance of Ivar did not affect him more than that.

"Not a word to your sister, I don't know if she had the same vision as me and I wouldn't want to worry her."

Coming out of hiding, you waited until you were noticed to speak up.

"No need to hide anything from me, I heard you talking." If there was one thing you couldn't stand, it was being kept out of conversations. Ivar and your mother were masters in this art, always whispering in each other's ears. Sometimes you did it, of course, but in those cases, after a while, you ended up including more people in your conversation.

For some reason that still escaped you, Margrethe had invited your brothers to dine in Lagertha's Skali, in Hedeby. Knowing this, you planned your day accordingly. From the time you would spend with your mother to the time you would spend at the market, everything was calculated to make the day go by as quickly as possible. However, despite your well-calculated schedule, you spent part of the day on the dock. Desperately waiting to see boats arrive.

While your eyes were riveted on the water, the sound of a horn brought you out of your reverie. This one could only announce two things, the arrival of a guest, but you were not expecting anyone or an attack. It was the worst time for Kattegat to be attacked, most of the warriors had left with Bjorn or with Ragnar and your brothers were not present to lead the remaining forces. Feeling the danger coming, you ran to the only more or less safe place, the longhouse.

Your mother quickly found you. She didn't seem surprised by the attack, much less worried. She hugged you, stroking your hair before placing a kiss on the top of your head and whispering to you to be strong because everything would be okay.

Once you calmed down a bit, Aslaug explained to you who was attacking the city and especially why, portraying Lagertha as an opportunistic woman but without denigrating her.

Following the queen out of the Skali, your hands began to shake when you saw Lagertha facing you. Your gaze begged her to leave Kattegat without harming anyone, but the shield-wielding warrior did not look at you. You moved closer to your mother, clinging your arm to hers as you indirectly listened to what Lagertha had to say.

Before you could react, your mother had turned to leave and, as you were about to follow her, you saw her collapse to the ground as an arrow pierced her back. The sight paralyzed you, you could not move, the shock was too great. Your heart started to beat faster, your whole body started to shake slightly and your breathing started to become jerky. Only then did you feel a small pain and a warm liquid running down your arm. The arrow that Lagertha had shot had also hit your arm, leaving a shallow wound on your skin.

Breathing became increasingly difficult and the shaking became more prominent. You gasped as you first felt Torvi's hand on your shoulder before she took you in her arms, trying her best to help you calm down.

She helped you back to your room, acting strangely maternal towards you. However, when Ubbe and Sigurd joined you, you were alone. Before they could ask you anything, you jumped into Ubbe's arms, happy to know that they were still alive. They had guessed what had happened when they had met Astrid and Torvi at the entrance of the Skali.

You couldn't talk anymore. You were lost. The dozens of questions in your mind prevented you from thinking straight as tears rolled down your cheeks. Ubbe sat you on his lap and you rested your head on his shoulder. He stroked your hair, aware that you had witnessed an event that even he would have found difficult to bear. Sigurd was also sympathetic, telling you that you could not have done anything to stop Lagertha or that you were brave not to resist her.

Not being a threat to the new queen of Kattegat, Lagertha allowed you to attend your mother's funeral at your request. Your eyes never once turned to Bjorn's mother, it was difficult for you to define how you felt about Lagertha. You loved her less than before, but you did not hate her.

Torvi stayed by your side for most of the ceremony, like emotional support, occasionally putting her hand on your shoulder.

You remained silent until the arrow, which was to ignite the boat, was fired. As a final farewell, you began to sing, softly at first, before your voice became stronger against the gentle sound of the wind and waves.

"I know everything, Odin, to whom you gave your eye. You will be free from the bonds that bind you. Once you stand at the gate to Hel and when you have to tear free, I shall follow you. You are free from the bonds that bound you!"

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romeoandjulietyouwish · 3 years ago

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The angst anon has me thinking, what about Vex having a post-canon brush with death and Percy saying something to the essence of “I never thought I’d have to live without you?” Lifespan angst with a side of Hurt/Comfort?

Percy is going to die well before Vex. That's something he's grown comfortable with. After all, the thought of having to watch her die, just like so much of his family before, hurts him to no end. He's glad she'll out live him, even if it is selfish.

But now he's facing that very possibility.

It was supposed to be an epic last hurrah for Vox Machina, finding the biggest monster the could and tearing it to shreds. It was a day trip, nothing more. But it ended with Vex lying bloody on the ground. Percy kneels by her side, holding tight to one of her hands as Pike stands over her, divine magic swirling between her hands.

Percy doesn't look away from his wife. Her chest is still, not rising and falling, there's no trace of life on her face. There's a ice cold fear in Percy's veins, what will he tell their children? Gods, Gwendolyn is barely old enough to talk, she can't lose her mother. Fuck, Vesper is almost an adult, she can't lose her mother. None of them can. He can't lose his wife, not when he knows what grief does to him. He doesn't know how to live without her.

Pike's divine magic sinks into Vex's skin, making her glow for a moment. Peercy squeezes down on her hand, "Don't leave me, please don't leave me." He doesn't know who he's talking to, maybe Vex, maybe the Raven Queen, maybe his brother in law.

His eyes are blinded with tears, but he still hears her talk in a long breath, her beautiful eyes blinking open. Percy doesn't waste a second before he pulling her into his arms, crying a bit into her hair.

Vex hugs him back and after a moment pulls back and takes his face in her hands. She wipes his tears away, "I'm alright, darling."

At the sound of her voice, Percy takes a long breath and presses a kiss to her palm, nodding a little bit. She kisses him, it takes like blood and tears, but she's here and she's alive so Percy doesn't mind.

When they return to Whitestone after getting cleaned up, no need to terrify their kids by arrive covered in blood, Percy doesn't leave Vex's side. Together, they corral their kids into their beds, having a late dinner, and make their way to their bedroom.

When the door shuts behind them, Percy pulls Vex into another hug, breathing slowly. Vex holds him back, "Darling, you're worrying me," she tells him softly.

Percy pulls away just enough to meet her eyes, "Vex, I...I never thought I'd have to live without you and for a second I saw everything. I-I saw me trying to raise our kids by myself and trying to rule Whitestone..." He trails off, shaking his head. "I don't ever want to live without you because I am terrified that I would become who I was before you changed me."

Vex smiles sadly and kisses him. "Percival, neither of us can predict the future. But if you were to lose me, I know that you would still be an amazing father and ruler." She squeezes the back of his neck, "I hope it never comes to that, but we both know that it's possible."

He nods with a sigh. "Are you ever worried about the time you'll live after I'm gone?"

Vex says nothing, she walks over to their bed and sits on the edge. Percy follows her, sinking down beside her as she takes his hand in hers. "Of course I am. You changed me as well, Percy, and the thought of having to live without you or my brother is terrifying. But I'll have our children and Keyleth. I'll be alright."

She leans her head on his shoulder. Percy squeezes her hand. "We're destined for a tragic ending, aren't we?" He asks quietly.

"I don't think so," Vex tells him, just as soft. "Every story has hard moments, sad moments. It doesn't make the story a tragedy. Besides, our story doesn't end when we die. I'll see you again, Percy, in the same place where I'll find my brother and our mother and your family and the rest of our friends. That's a happy ending to me."

Percy smiles a little bit, though tears gather in his eyes. "Too me as well."

#my fic #critical role #vox machina #percahlia #vox machina spoilers #critical role fic #vox machina fic #vex'ahlia #percahlia fic #percival de rolo #i hurt my own feelings writing this

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the-orangeauthor · 2 years ago

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👻 ghost and 🍬 candy

Thank you for the asks Rie ❤️

👻 can you tease some wip ideas that have been haunting you/ something you want to write in the future?

Oh the stories haunt me *drapes myself dramatically over a lounge seat* where do I even begin???

Of course, something I’ve been mentioning in a couple posts recently, is The Wand and the Wolf book 2 - currently titled The Warlock in the Shadows!!! I’m currently thinking about the story line of this book, I know how I want the first half to go but I need a dramatic ending as this is probably the last we will see of Kyda and Ibhan in the Raynorverse until the cross-over series.

The Scale of Dragons is another story that is taking place in the Raynorverse in about the same timeline as The Wand and the Wolf, but focuses on the Dragonborn empire over on The Isles of the Winged on my Raynor map! If I take a break from Kyda and Ibhan I’ll probably start work on this one as the plot is extremely juicy and will start to feed in to the cross over aspects of Raynor!!

🍬 share a sweet or fluffy scene from your wip!

This one is from pretty close to the end of The Wand and the Wolf but I just love it so much 🥺 Ibhans POV

"We did indeed," Kyda said, leading me over to a large armchair. She helped me get comfortable, giving me an extra cushion for support, before gently pushing back my hair as she left the room.

"You're so whipped," Riaz murmured, catching my gaze following her out of the room. I whacked his arm, hard as the wolves in the room laughed.

"They're werewolves, smartass, there's no secrets in here," I hissed and he joined the laughter. I would never be rid of the red again at this rate. Kyda returned a few moments later, and I did my best to look occupied by the conversation the others were having, but all my focus was caught as she sat on the arm rest of my chair, one arm draped over the back, the other in her lap. I looked up at her, and a she smiled down at me, her hand finding its way from the chair into my hair.

"How you doing?" she asked, and I cleared my throat as the feeling of her nails on her scalp overwhelmed my brain.

"I'm fine," I said and she raised an eyebrow. I rolled my eyes, "I'm a little tired, but I'm okay," I said and she leant down, pressing her her lips to the top of my head.

"Have dinner, and we'll get you settled in your room," she said softly. It felt like my body moved on autopilot as my hand caught her chin, pulling her just a little lower, letting my lips brush over hers. I smiled against her lips as I gave her one more chaste kiss before letting go of her chin.

I was vaguely aware of silence in the room as I looked up at her, aura pulsating with hues of green and wisps of yellow. The moment was broken as her mother came from the other room to announce dinner. They brought me a little table out and Remus, Damien, and Riaz kept me company in the living room as the kids beat them to the table.

"Eliza got through to your mother by the way," Damien informed me, "she said she'll be here by tomorrow with your father," he said, trailing off at the end.

I sighed heavily as I ate. God her parents were phenomenal cooks, the meat in the stew was deliciously soft and I realised how little I had eaten in recent weeks. Knowing my father was coming certainly helped work up an appetite.

"So," Riaz said, "you and Kyda?" Remus almost choked on his food, growling at Riaz who waved a fork in surrender.

"We haven't been over any details yet but I don't plan on letting her go any time soon," I said, looking over to Remus. He narrowed his eyes at me, unwilling to trust anyone with his sister after what she had been through. But I wasn't just anyone, and he knew that.

"We'll, she's not living in Ravenvein," he said as he sat back. I scoffed as I reached for my water.

"I think we're all wanted criminals in Ravenvein," I said and Riaz and Damien laughed as Remus eyed the three of us.

"I don't wanna know, I refuse to be complicit in whatever crimes you committed," he said, "but your brought my little sister home, so I'll be on your side."

The for now at the end of his statement was silent, but I felt it longer in the room. The tension diffused as two of Kalinas pups came flying back into the room, leaping over furniture as they ran. I caught one, mid shift in my hand as he pushed off from the coffee table and tried to make it across my chair, falling short. I held him up to my face and the little wolf wriggled and nibbled on my fingers.

"I hate that you're all so cute," I muttered, turning him over in my palms. Spotting his sibling he promptly flung himself from my open grasp to continue the chase.

"When are you starting your litter?" Riaz asked and I waved my hand, a mist of shadow smacking the back of his head and he spluttered, Remus and Damien laughing across from us.

I love when Ibhan sees the pups and just needs to hold them because he doesn’t want them to hit their silly little heads on anything 🥺

These questions are from this ask here!

#the wand and the wolf bits #oc ibhan #writeblr ask game #rie ❤️#fluff #new wips

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martieshub · 8 months ago

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That was true. He knew it deep down in his soul how mad she'd get at missing this. But he couldn't blame her, love stories no matter how they came about were her favorite. And this one was the one she and his sisters were truly invested in. ❛She'll be talking about this for months just know that. ❜

He shrugged as he could feel a smile spread across his features. ❛None were mean spirited though. More than half were random things that made me think of you. One song that I had stuck in my mind for a few days that I knew you'd know the title of. I guess it's now your right to see those texts. ❜ There was laughter behind his words at that. He didn't ever have anything to hide and didn't care if she saw his phone or not. Most of what he had on there were family and friends who, come to think of it, she knew of or had met at some point. ❛You'll probably think I'm ridiculous. Even more so than what you've seen.❜

He knew how hard it was to start off and to begin to peel yourself like an onion. It took courage and a bravery no one could ever begin to know of until they were in the hot seat. Thumbs doing a comforting number on hers he smiled, not hiding the pride for her. ❛I'm proud but I hope you really are proud of yourself. I knew you were always brave but this—just shows how strong and courageous you are. Future you will thank you. You're showing up for her. ❜ He knew this journey was for her to take on her own but she'd still have a support and cheer section regardless.

A big part of him wanted to ease her fears but what could he say that wouldn't just seem like he was disregarding it. He chewed on his words for a moment before he began, ❛Because if I left that easily? Then I really wouldn't deserve you. No one writes songs about the love that comes easy. Fuck ups happen okay, I won't deny that but if watching my siblings' love stories taught me anything, it was that what matters is what you do when things get tricky and hard and fuck ups are made. You don't just leave your partner to deal with it alone. I want to work with you through the ups and downs and the in betweens. I'm sure I'll fuck up along the way too, so we learn together. How can I be so sure? We communicate. Our communication game is pretty strong. ❜ his finger gingerly tapped on her nose, making himself laugh softly. ❛That's the point. You're not sure of yourself but I am sure of you. I believe that's what the kids call a partnership. Your shortcomings, my shortcomings, they're not weaknesses not when you're with the right person. ❜ Being with her changed a lot of his perspective. Things he never saw himself say, here he was saying them and actually meaning them.

He lingered softly in their kiss shared and pulled away softly. As he gave her one of his signature smiles that he'd come to reserve for her. ❛You're right. Never. I love taking up your time though. Second favorite past time. If you're going to call Charlie and Anna. I have to be here for that. I just know you won't tell me what he says. ❜ Wally said it teasingly but knew that to be half true. Either she'd neglect to say certain things or skip over it all together. ❛I can hear it. Though which is worse his gloating or roro's?❜

❛Well, I'm no expert on this but from what I've gathered from seeing couples who were friends before is that the transition will be easier than it'd be if we were strangers. Not saying it won't have some rough patches but there's already a level of care that we developed while we were friends, we're still friends but now that just has become something more. It's become friends who are in love. Technically I don't see much changing, we're still hanging out, eating dinners, working together but now I can actually take you out on a date and call it a date and tell you how beautiful you are without you thinking I'm joking. Kisses too is good without the pretense of doing it for work. There'll be loads more snuggles for you though. Insane amounts of snuggles but most importantly I want you to know we can take it as slow or as fast as you want. My main thing is I want you to be happy and comfortable. Everything is a bonus. End of the day you're my best friend who I've got a major crush on. ❜ He wanted to add in a normal banter for her since this would be one of the biggest changes that they'd have to deal with and sort through. However she wanted to proceed was how they would.❛What do you think will change? ❜ he asked as his fingers took her hand and began to draw shapes on her knuckles. The way she was currently looking at him started to color his cheeks a slight crimson color.

It was a fascinating thing to experience, having someone look at him like she was. He'd seen it, heard it from his brothers in laws. Saw it the first time jc had come to him to tell him he had fallen in love with his sister. He saw it the very moment that they'd sat together and saw the way they'd look at each other. That look reminded him of the one his girlfriend was giving him. At that his dimple slightly showed thinking that was a sentence he never would have thought would ever come. He wanted to make a joke so badly but didn't. Instead let his hand cup her jaw and his index finger caressed from her jaw to her cheek, locking eyes with her. If this was how they'd communicate from now on, it would definitely warm his heart. He'd found his someone. ❛Oh man. You do realize that now you're gonna be an official plus one to my mom's summer bash gala. ❜He started laughing just thinking about it. ❛Just know you don't have to go if you don't want to. I can cover for you. ❜

She felt her heart swell in a happiness she couldn't ever remember experiencing before. At the mention of her friend, she couldn't help but laugh. "Then we should be careful because she'd probably be mad she wasn't there for it."

The sentiment was something she knew all too well. She longed to call him so many times. "I would love to see these texts, I'm sure some were well deserved at how I went around doing this." At his question, her voice was soft and low from trying to not cry as she answered him. " It's hard. There was a part of me that knew it would be, I just didn't think it would be this hard. Probably the hardest thing I've ever done. ” She remembered the silence that surrounded her when she sat there in the office, not knowing what to say or how to start. The itch to drink or run from it all instead of staying and continuing to face the things that haunted her in a way she didn't think she could be haunted.

" It is? " Her eyebrows furrowed in slight confusion. "But what if I still fuck up? I get that you would be there for me but what if I fuck up so much that you won't want to be around me anymore? I just," she sighed. "I don't know how you can be so sure in me when I'm not."

"Yeah" she said standing up with his hands in hers and gently pulling him up. "In all fairness I didn't tell you to get on your knee. And it's okay, I know your not that big into sharing." She chuckled before placing another soft kiss on his lips. "In all the time that I've known you, when have you been worried about taking up my time? You can stay here as long as you want. Oh, yeah." Her eyes grew wide. "I should probably call Charlie and Anna." Biting her bottom lip as she led him to the couch, she quickly dismissed it. "Tomorrow, I don't want to hear his gloating right now."

Settling on the couch, she couldn't help but just look at him. Watch him. "So, what now?" She asked softly, this all being new to her. She hadn't given it much thought as to what would change. What would be different. If anything at that.

#interactions. wally #v: dirty cash (money talks.)#by god this is the softest thing I've read today 🥺#not him being Mr prepared but having nothing when it comes to her pls #as always i wrote you a damn novel

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hot-wiings · 4 years ago

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The One Where [Y/N] [L/N] Can't Show Up To Her Toxic Family Dinner Alone, So She Turns To Her College Peer For Help.

Edited: 12-4-2020

Once your college professor dismissed the class as over you were quick to open your phone and check your messages. Once unmuted, it vibrated and chimed a dozen times bombarding you. Messages from your mother overflowed your notification bar. You just didn't have the energy to deal with it right now. With a scowl, you set your phone back to mute mode and harshly shoved it into your backpack.

"Everything all right?"

Your chemistry partner was pilling books back into his backpack when he asked you the imposing question. He zipped the bag close, stood up, and turned to you, giving you a concerned look as he slung his backpack on his shoulder.

"I'm fine."

"We've been partners for nearly a year, I think I know you enough to know when you're not fine."

Your eyes glanced up at the white-haired man before glancing back at your lap. Your chemistry partner, Natsuo Todoroki, was a nice young man. Natsuo was funny and kind, he noticed when you were having a bad day, and he'd try to ease your troubles. Maybe that was why you often found yourself studying your partner more than your notes. Normally you'd relish under the gaze and attention of your charming, pretty partner, but today wasn't just one of those days.

"It's stupid. Like, really stupid, and unimportant."

"If it's bothering you then it's not stupid. C'mon, I'll buy you lunch and you can tell me all about your problem."

You huffed as you stood up and pulled your bag over your shoulder. You followed Natsuo to the cafeteria, while he walked off to get and pay for your lunches, you found some empty seats. Your leg bounced as you waited for him to come back. The idea of opening up about something so personal made you anxious.

"It's Soba Saturday."

"Thanks."

Natsuo took a seat across from you and smiled as you took a bite out of the food. Happy that you were happy with your food, Natsou digs into his own.

"So partner' what's up?"

"As I said, it's really, really, stupid."

"You're obviously worked up over it, it can't be that stupid."

You let out a ragged sigh as you took a delicate bite out of your food. Embarrassed, your eyes avoided him once you swallowed and set the fork down. Natsuo had shared so much with you as a friend and confidant, you knew about his family, every nitty-gritty detail, but you opened so little in return.

"My mom texted me asking if I was bringing a date home for Christmas. My parents... They're pretentious and rich, you know? Marrying, and settling down, becoming a house mouse while my husband takes over the family business. That's the future they want for me."

You clenched your fists just getting aggravated thinking about it. The toxicity was hard and you were trying your best to escape it, but you could only flee so much when you were poor without your parents. Natsuo reached across the table and grabbed your hands, pulling them into his cold ones.

"I know if I show up alone my mom's gonna get in my business, then she'll try setting me up with rich men she thinks are suitable. I just- I can't do another family Christmas alone."

"I understand what you mean. I told you how my dad's a bastard, he's tried setting me and my sister up with suitable people before, never works out, just makes us hate him. I don't even wanna go home for Christmas this year, so... I have a proposition."

"I'd love to hear it."

"I'll go with you."

His voice came out quick and fast, almost making him sound nervous, but Natsuo didn't get nervous, it wasn't a Todoroki trait. You look up from your lap to his eyes. A small smile formed on your face as he proposed the statement. You let out a chuckle as a light blush brushed your face.

"You wanna be my date?"

"We don't have to go like that, we can fake date. Think about it, you need a rich, suitable guy to show up with you. You need me. Someone to convince your pretentious parents you're ready to settle down, and, I, can get out of my own family Christmas and obligations to see the bastard man."

"Fake dating... Fake dating and convincing my parents that we're in love. That's a lot to deal with, you're sure your up for it?"

"Yeah, you might say... We already have some chemistry together."

You laughed as that feeling bubbled up in your chest. That feeling you got whenever you were around your partner, your lab partner. It was stupid, so stupid. The idea of fake dating him bubbled you, even if it was fake, the idea that he got to be your boyfriend for an evening or two excited you.

"Okay, you dork, it's settled. You're my fake boyfriend."

Your leg bounced rigorously as the car drove on the road. You watched the road signs, anxiously noting how far away from your home you were each time a new one appeared. You lived a couple of hours out from the city you and Natsuo attended college in. Coming from a rich family, you and Natsuo probably would've attended the same social circles and school had you not grew up so far away.

Your thumb tapped away at your leg as Christmas music blared through the radio. Your whole body screamed anxious and distressed. Now that you've had time to brew and process the deal you and Natsuo made you regretted it. What were you thinking, taking your lab partner, who was also your crush, on an overnight trip as your fake boyfriend? It was just going to cause you trouble.

You had feelings for him and your family was toxic. The idea of letting him in was disturbing. It was your home where you grew up, the place you learned to hate yourself, the place that taught you to be closed off, and mean. He'll meet your mom, your dad, and your godawful siblings. He'll see how horrible your family is, and the idea of letting him see the environment you grew up in was so daunting.

What if he decided you were awful too? What if he changes lab partners?

"We're here."

"Great."

Your voice came out placid and tight. Your nervousness and exhaustion could be heard in your voice. Emotions brought out every time you saw your family, he mistook it as nerves brought on by the fear of fake dating.

"We should probably lie down some rules."

"Yeah, I've never fake dated before. I don’t know what you're uncomfortable with, but no kissing on the lips."

Natsuo pulled his keys out of the engine ignition and pocketed them while he lightly laughed at your proposed rule. Heat rose to your cheeks as his voice met your ears.

"We're supposed to convince them we're in love, but I can't kiss your lips?"

"I know it's silly, but to me it's romantic and I’d like to keep this professional. Besides, you still have my cheek, hand, nose, and forehead."

“I see your points, if it makes you feel more comfortable then lips are off-limits.”

You let out a relieved sigh. You weren't sure you'd handle kissing Natsuo. It was too personal, too romantic. The more you progressed on this endeavor the more you worried. Your parents were gonna know, they were gonna know.

"No kissing your lips, what about hand-holding?"

"We can hold hands, hug, anything a couple would do, just no sex or kissing."

"Two days, as a handholding loving boyfriend. Let's do this."

Natsuo got out of the car and while you zipped up your coat and fixed your scarf he rushed to the other side of the car and opened your door before you got the chance. His cold hand was on your hand pulling you out of the car, he smiled softly at you as he helped you out.

“Thanks, you didn't have to do that.”

“I wanted to, I'm your boyfriend after all.”

You pushed a piece of hair behind your ear as a light blush spread across your skin. Never had you been more thankful for the cold air for you had been able to play your pink cheeks off as an effect of the cold weather and not his words.

“You go in, I’ll get our bag.”

“You sure?”

You nibbled on your lip as Natsuo walked away from you. He turned to you with an ever-growing smile present as he winked.

“Yeah, I'm a good boyfriend aren't I?”

“The sweetest ever. See you inside.”

You made your way to the door and gave the heavy wooden door a hard knock. It wasn't long until one of the servants opened the door. The head butler, Godwin, opened the door and threw you a gracious smile before pulling you into a hug.

“Welcome back, [Y/N].”

In your time living here as a child, Godwin spent a lot of time with you. It was his job to watch over you and your siblings along with the other staff members when your parents were gone, which was often. He was the one who taught you to be kinder and nicer, more humble than your other siblings. He was the one who encouraged you to go to college despite your parents raising you to live in a world with their racist, sexist ideals.

“It’s good to see you, Godwin.”

Your mother came down the stairs with her overly expensive Christmas dress flowing with her. She looked like the average rich person trying to show off her money. Pearls, diamonds, and obvious plastic surgery. Your father followed behind her, adorning an expensive tailored suit and a matching tie, no doubt your mother's idea to make it seem like they had a perfect marriage to their guests when it, in fact, was not.

“Oh, [F/N], you're here!”

She walked up to you and awkwardly wrapped her arms around your body. It was weird and awkward. Your mother didn't like giving affection out to her children, or really anyone. Now that you were older, you didn't crave the attention from her. Your father didn't even attempt to greet you.

“I thought you said you were bringing a guest, Oh I knew you were lying. Lucky for you I thought ahead and arranged for one of your father's friends to come over as your date for the evening.”

“Mother, anyone friends with father is going to be way too old to be a date for me, besides that fact, I did bring a date.”

“Oh, don’t be embarrassed to ask your mother for help, I did give birth to you after all.”

She sneered her words at you. This was a classical move of your mothers because she gave birth to you then that must mean she knows you better than anyone else, she also used it in the stance that you owed it to her to do what she wanted.

“You’ll love him. He's the owner of a multimillion-dollar company, he's rich, and his wife just died! You’ve been single for so long, you need a man to take care of you”-

Your mother is cut off by the sound of Natsuo walking in with your bag and slamming the door shut, trying to keep the cold out. Considering it was an overnight trip, you thought sharing a bag might make you look more intimate and close.

“Sorry I took so long babe, I didn't zip the bag all the way closed and it opened on the ride here, I had to put everything back in it.”

“Mother, father, this is my boyfriend.”

Natsuo dropped your bag on the floor and shook your parent's hands starting with your father, and then your mother next, respectfully the way you shook hands with the rich. You supposed growing up as a Todoroki he had to learn these tricks and rules the same way you did.

“Natsuo Todoroki, nice to meet you, sir, ma’am.”

“Oh wow, Todoroki? Like the hero family Todoroki?”

“Yes, ma’am... Endeavor is my father.”

You could tell by Natsuo's stance that he was uncomfortable with the way your mother was asking about his social status and checking him out with a tight fake smile on her face.

“Yes, I remember now, I saw your family on the news. How did you snag this one [Y/N]? A Todoroki, I'm impressed, then again... He is the brother who chose not to follow the life of a hero.”

You both ignored your mother's catty comment as Natsuo grabbed your hand and pulled you against his side. He kissed your cheek, eliciting a light blush for the second time that day, however, your mother's focus was on your 'boyfriend', and his focus was on your mother.

“Feels more like I'm the one who snagged her.”

“Well, you must tell us how you met. Goodwin! Take their bag up to [Y/N]'s room!”

You rolled your eyes as she yells at the butler. You'd think after years of working for her she would've remembered his name, but she didn't.

“Godwin, we can take our bag up, we need to change into our dress clothes anyway. Mother, you really should remember the names of your staff.”

“They're just the help, details like their names don't matter. Ever since you went off to that school it's put silly ideas in your head. Natsuo don't be afraid to remind her who's boss, she might try to force those ridiculous relationship norms on you.”

The comment comes from your father who had been mostly silent throughout the whole conversation. The comment comes from your father and it didn't sit well with Natsuo. As your father laughs at what he said, Natsuo picks your bag up and chuckles at him.

“Oh, [Y/N] and I both know who the boss of this relationship is. [Y/N] attends more classes than me, so I always make sure the apartment is clean, and food is ready on the table for her. It's only fair, I wouldn't want her to think these ridiculous relationship norms where the woman cooks and cleans and the man provides is right.”

Before your father gets another word in edgewise, Natsuo pulls you along with him to the staircase, letting you guide him to your bedroom with appeased smiles on your faces. You pushed the door open and let Natsuo in before closing it and locking it. You flopped over on the bed, and he followed suit before taking a look at your room. It was the same as always, the way you left it after high school, never changing except for when little things got moved around for dusting and vacuuming by Godwin.

“So... What'd you think of my parents?”

“They’re... interesting?”

There were a wide variety of choice words Natsuo wanted to use. He did not like your parents, and it bothered him knowing that you grew up being raised with such ideals. Natsuo might have had a bastard for a father, his father might have hurt his mom, and his family in more ways than one, but his father never once told Fuyumi that she couldn't pursue her dreams. He never once told Fuyumi that she had to follow old gender norms, never once was Fuyumi taught to layover for a man.

"It's okay, you can say it. They're good awful."

"I didn't want to upset you or offend, but my father literally drove my mom insane, he gave her a mental illness and he's nice compared to them."

"Just wait until you meet my siblings."

You let out a laugh as your fingers played with the blanket on the bed. Your hands were so close. It was sweet to him, the sound of your voice. He'd never admit out loud, but he was so in love with you. Ever since he first laid eyes on you in chemistry class. Ever since you sat down next to him and introduced yourself, ever since you accidentally blew up your first experiment. Ever since you kept apologising for catching him on fire, you hadn't a clue who he was, or who his father was. You were normal with him. Every little thing you did lead up to his feelings for you. Every little thing you did added to the strong feelings had had, like a brick house.

To the naked eye, Natsuo was a desirable man. He was rich, filthy rich, and he had that Todoroki charm. Everyone wanted him for his status or his looks. They didn't know him, the real him, him with an abusive father and fucked up family. For all those reasons, Natsuo always thought that you wouldn't want to be with a boy like him. Someone who came from such a broken background, someone so weak, unable to stand up to his father. Guys like him never got the girl, at least not the girl that he wanted but Natsuo also never imagined that you came from a background similar to his. It was so ethereal and special to be here with you, to be the one you were opening up to, even if it was a fake relationship, Natsuo was trying desperately to shoot his shot.

"You're so strong, you know that? Your parents raised you with these unrealistic standards on how you should act, but you're in college, you're pursuing your dreams. You're amazing."

Natsuo's hand reached out and grabbed yours, his cold one in yours soliciting goosebumps and a little shiver. You quickly tried to pull your and out of his and stood up to make it look like you weren't trying to avoid skin contact with him.

"Thanks, Natsuo... You're amazing too, I mean hello, they way you subtly told my father to shove his marriage ideals? It was hilarious, he was not expecting that."

You looked away from Natsou to hide the blush in your cheeks, you were thankful for the way he stood up to your father for you. You could never have done that in a million years.

"Anyway, we should probably get dressed, and go down before my mother thinks we've started having sex. You can get dressed in here and I'll go to the bathroom, just knock when it's safe for me to come out."

You grabbed your dress out of the bag and scurried into the bathroom. You started with makeup, then you reapplied your deodorant. You were so nervous that your family would see right through your lie. After taking a few deep breaths you heard Natsuo's knock so you quickly unzipped your silk, baby blue dress and pulled it up to your body. Nervously, you popped your head out the door and bit your lip.

"Can you... Can you zip me up?"

"Sure!"

You let the door open more and pulled the front of your dress tight against your body, worried and nervous to be partially naked in front of him. Natsuo sauntered into the bathroom and zipped the back of your dress up. His cold hands glide up your back and then fell down on your hips. It made you shiver again before throwing him a grateful smile.

"Thanks."

"No problem, you look beautiful."

You looked in the mirror at the two of you together. This time as the blush rose to your cheeks you didn't have the cold to blame or the ability to turn around and hide your face.

"Ready to meet the rest of the snake nest?"

"I survived your parents, I think I can handle your siblings."

Arm in arm looped together you made your way downstairs and into the entertainment room with Natsuo. Your siblings were sitting on the couch, but once you walked in their eyes struck you. They heard you brought a date and they wanted to check him out. Their eyes glazed over him some of them in interest, some in disinterest. All judging.

"I heard you brought a boy, didn't believe it."

The comment comes from your older sister. Her voice was full of disdain and disinterest, undoubtedly ready to leave.

"Yeah, mother said you brought a boy, didn't think he'd be so hot."

Natsou coughs uncomfortably as you showed a tight, fake smile to your sister. You couldn't lie, it hurt that your younger sister would so blatantly flirt with your boyfriend upon meeting him, whether he be fake or not.

"Don't be such a slut, [Sisters Name]. That's your sister's boyfriend."

Your older brother scolded his youngest sister for her lustful behavior and she rolls her eyes before she crosses her arms in a pout. Your brother was the nicest out of all your siblings. He was nice to you and your siblings in his own way, protective of his younger siblings, constantly scolding and trying to keep you all in place. That didn't mean he couldn't be a snake, he could just tolerate you and your siblings more.

"Besides, he's not all that hot."

"Oh he totally is, it's seriously a wonder how [Y/N] got him."

You brought Natsuo over to the couch and sat down next to him. You even made sure to sit close to him, close enough so you could lean into each other like a cute couple.

"I think I prefer your parents."

His words whispered in your ear earning a light chuckle from you. Your sister, the younger one, evidently didn't like how close you both were. With a harsh glare, she rolled her eyes again.

"How did you even meet? Seriously, I wanna know why he would downgrade to someone like you."

Natsuo scratched the back of his head awkwardly and nervously He didn't understand why your siblings were so mean to you. His father was a bastard, that closed you off, that he could get. Despite that, he and his siblings never put each other down like they were doing.

"More like she downgraded to me. We met in school, lab partners. She had all the boys chasing for her in school, but somehow she chose me."

Your sister scoffed and this time you rolled your eyes. She always gave you such shit over the littlest things. You didn't have the energy for this, at least not sober. You whispered into Natsuo's ear softly.

"I need a drink, you want one? We'll need it to get through the evening."

"If your alcohol mixing skills are anything like your chemistry mixing skills, then no."

"Meanie, I'm a great chemist, I practically carry our grade."

Natsuo chuckled against your cheek, before pulling back and kissing it. Again, a blush adorned your cheek with no way to hide it. It was brief and quick, but his cold lips ghosted against your cheek. All you could do was abruptly stand up with a smile on your face.

"I'm gonna go find an alcoholic beverage. I'll be right back, play nice with him."

Natsuo watched helplessly as you walked off into the distance. He sat there quietly, patiently waiting for you to come back. Natsuo was such a cool, calm collected guy, but alone with your siblings, he felt nervous. Seeing the way they acted with you gave him a bad impression of them, but he has to play nice because he was your boyfriend.

"You know, an alcoholic drink does sound great."

Your older sister stood up from the couch and walked off in the same direction as you did, the kitchen presumably, to make herself a drink as well. Soon, your brother left the room as well, your little sister bit her lip as she watched your brother walk off in the direction of the bathroom. She was quick to stand and in the place you once held occupied.

"My sister said play nice, but I'd rather play rough."

She slid her hand over his thigh and inched it closer to his crotch while she smiled up at him, nibbling on her lip.

"What are you doing? I'm here with your sister, I'm her boyfriend."

"Ugh, what do you even see in her? She's not even pretty."

Before Natsou could reply, before he could defend you, your sister climbed across his lip and planted her lips against his. He wasn't kissing her back, but with her on top of him, her pressing her face against his, and her fingers deeply gripping his clothes it was difficult to get her off of him. He wasn't kissing back, he was trying to push her off but as you walked up with two margaritas in hand all you saw was your fake boyfriend kissing your sister.

It hurt. It shouldn't have, but it hurt. He wasn't yours, not really. He was just your lap partner, your friend. He wasn't your boyfriend, you were just fake dating. He wasn't yours. He wasn't yours, but it hurt to see your sister all over him. He wasn't yours, but for the night he was supposed to be. He wasn't yours but for the sake of your lie you did what any girl would do after finding her boyfriend cheating on her: You dumped your margarita down the skank.

"[Brothers Name] is right, you are a slut! And you- you-"

As your sister pulled herself off of Natsuo she looked up at you shocked with alcohol dripping down her body, you ignored her and turned your attention to Natsou. Your eyes were blurry but you had to will yourself not to cry.

"I don't need you here. You can just leave."

You didn't wait for Natsou to get up and leaves nor did you want for him to talk and explain anything to you. You simply took off in the direction of your bedroom, slamming the door behind you. Natsuo quickly jumped up on his feet and took off in the direction of your bedroom. He didn't knock, he didn't wait for permission, he just busted in and ran over to you.

"If you want to make out with my sister, that's fine. I get it, she's pretty, she's hot, she's better than me. She's everything you'd want, but you were supposed to be here with me! You were supposed to be here as my boyfriend! My parents were supposed to think we're in love. You were supposed to be mine, I don't care if it's fake, you cheated with my sister!"

The tears were leaking down your cheeks as you yelled at him. No words could pass Natsuo's lips, no matter how hard he tried. They couldn't. Seeing your tears, a product of him hurt. It hurt. He hurt you. He was trying his best to shoot his shot, he was trying to subtly woo you.

"Your sister came on to me, I tried pushing her away. She's really is a snake, you said it yourself!"

You still sniffled as you nodded at him. He was right, you had said that. He was right, she is a snake and this is exactly what she would do just to screw with your life.

"I'm sorry, your right. I shouldn't have acted like that, you're not actually mine. Natsuo, I do need you, I need you here."

"What if I wanted you to really be mine?"

You sniffling stopped as Natsuo took closer steps to you. He placed his hands on your cheeks and pulled your lips against his. This was different from earlier. The kiss wasn't quick, it was long. It was long and passionate, yet cold. Despite your shivers, you found yourself leaning into him, into the kiss.

"You- You can't do that, it's against the rules."

"Screw the rules. I just- I wish you needed me every night of the year, not just Christmas."

Natsuo ran his hands through his hair nervously. He thought speaking against your father and defending you against your sister was enough to get his point across. This idea of verbally speaking it, it scared him. This was uncharted territory for him.

"I want you [Y/N]. I want you every day of the year. I want to kiss you on the lips, I want to hold hands, I want dates and hugs. I want more than chemistry class and Christmas gatherings."

"Then you can have me! Have me every day of the year. Be mine, every day of the year. Take me on a date, hold my hand, kiss my lips!"

Natsuo pulled you against him and your face collided with his chest. You buried your face in his chest as your arms wrapped around his body and a smile formed.

"Let's not fake date, be my actual girlfriend."

You leaned up and left a quick chaste kiss on Natsuo's lips with a smile.

"I don't want anyone else to be my actual boyfriend, I suppose you might say we chemistry."

211 notes · View notes

personasintro · 4 years ago

Text

My Tiny Secret | 20; First Steps

𝑴𝒚 𝑻𝒊𝒏𝒚 𝑺𝒆𝒄𝒓𝒆𝒕 𝒅𝒓𝒂𝒃𝒃𝒍𝒆 | 20; First Steps

⏤𝒔𝒚𝒏𝒐𝒑𝒔𝒊𝒔; Pretty face doesn’t make it up for an ugly personality. And Kim Seokjin is the perfect proof of that.

⏤𝒑𝒂𝒊𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒈: seokjin x reader

⏤𝒈𝒆𝒏𝒓𝒆: angst, smut, fluff, mistress au, unexpected pregnancy au

⏤𝒘𝒂𝒓𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒔: strong language, mature content

⏤> 𝒇𝒊𝒄 𝒊𝒏𝒅𝒆𝒙

The birds' chirping creates a calm melody, outstanding the sounds of kids laughing and crying that reach your ears. Even the blanket underneath your legs feels soft, softer than usual and you wonder if it's made from one of those expensive materials. Surprisingly, Seokjin was the one who packed everything and you left him to it.

It's nice to see him doing such a normal stuff, especially if it's related to you and your son.

“It seems busier than last week.” His voice resounds, your eyes snapping to him as his legs are spread out with arms holding him in a relaxed position. Those black locks that got longer are thrown back, making his forehead on full display along with his thick brows.

He looks so relaxed, wearing a white casual shirt with jean shorts, something you should've got used to by now, but you still find yourself occasionally stare at him.

You're not even sure how, but your Saturdays have been spent in a park nearby your apartment building for the last couple of weeks. You often went alone, making sure you're not stuck in your apartment all day, sometimes Hoseok tagged along with you as well. Surprisingly, Seokjin comes every Saturday without even making any official plans with you, knowing he's about to spend the whole day with you. Well, with Yoojin.

It became a silent routine.

“It does,” you hum, eyes trailed on Yoojin who crawls up to the tree you're sitting underneath. It creates a perfect shadow in this warm weather. “He's so active these days.” you say as you already panic when he starts to standing up, holding the tree with his small hands.

He can stand for a long time now, but he's too careful to hold onto something and not let go. Yoojin's puckered lips stretch into a huge smile, proudly showing himself to his parents as you clap in praise, not holding a smile back. He grew up so fast, you can't believe how many things have changed since he was born.

Seokjin comes to visit more often, he even sleeps on the couch sometimes since the guest room is slowly renovating to Yoojin's new bedroom. You both went shopping together and bought him a new crib, along with a few different decorations and furniture. The memory of the two of you walking with Yoojin in his stroller seems weird, but nice and comfortable. For the first time, it felt like you're a real family, spending some time together.

He's an intelligent man managing a successful company on his own, with no help whatsoever, however building a crib isn't his strong suit. Stubbornly, he insisted on being the one who makes Yoojin's bedroom for him. You've never seen him being so passionate about something, so you let him. Even if it took him a month, but you silently enjoyed every day he came after work struggling in that room, ending sleeping on the couch.

It feels nice to have him there. He's more open, casually talking with you about your day, but mainly has his focus on Yoojin.

You've met his friend – Kim Namjoon. As you've learned, he accidentally found out about his best friend having a child, thinking it's all gossip. But when he burst into Seokjin's office with a single question if he has a kid and his friend didn't deny it, he knew those gossips were true.

According to Seokjin's words, he bugged him about wanting to meet Yoojin for a whole week, until he had no choice but to say 'yes'. Before Namjoon came to your apartment, Seokjin made sure you're okay with the visit of his friend, the same thing he did when his father came to visit for the first time.

You didn't have any reason to say no, Yoojin is his son as well. A part of you wanted to meet his friend anyway, which happened to be a very polite and kind man. It made you shocked that he has such a nice friend, you were expecting someone similar to his personality. The visit was far more enjoyable than that time when Mr. Kim visited. You even saw Seokjin to crack a few smiles and chuckles, not the dark ones you're used to, but honest and happy ones.

“He's Kim,” he points out proudly, smiling at Yoojin who grins back at his father, still holding to the tree. “He has your smile.” he comments, your head snapping to him before you look at Yoojin.

“Really?” you cock your head to the side, trying to find your similarity in your son.

He's a mixture of you both, although he definitely takes after Seokjin's side more. You're not mad at it, his father is handsome, there's no lie in that.

“Yeah,” he hums, his phone vibrating inside of his pocket as he pulls it out.

You see his wife's name on the display, but he just locks the phone and ignores the call.

“You can speak to her, y'know...” you mumble, watching your son instead as he squats down to admire dandelions.

“I know,” he assures you lightly, “I don't want to.” he admits and you don't let a surprise to be known on your face.

The conversation dies there, both of you watching your son as a way to distract yourselves, that's until Seokjin opens his mouth again.

“I'll divorce her,” he informs you, his tone firm as his hardening features. “For Yoojin.” he adds, glancing at your son that touches the top of dandelion and giggles when it bounces.

“That's nice of you,” you tell him softly, heart warming at the progress he's made. “But, are you sure? Is that what you want?”

You don't mean to doubt his decision, nor you feel some kind of triumph that he wants to divorce his wife. It was never a competition for you and you feel sorry for the woman, whether she's a bad person or not. You're not the one to talk, nor is Seokjin. All of you made mistakes along the way that got you where you are right now.

“I thought about what my father said,” he confesses, your mind drifting to that time he told you what he and his father talked about. It took his some time to open up, but when he finally did, you couldn't be more proud of him. “I think he's right. Besides, I don't see any future with her.”

“If that's what you really want, I'm on your side.”

Seokjin catches the smile you give him, eyes glinting with honesty and his heart does a weird twist at seeing you like that. You're wearing a yellow sundress, youth and happiness radiating from you and he wonders what's the reason behind your happiness. Is he a part of it too? Is someone else behind it?

“Thank you,” he says, tone sounding almost unsure of what to say, and you giggle when you see the puzzled look. “I don't know how she will take it, knowing her she'll throw a fuss. She seems to be furious whenever I come back to the house. I think I'll leave the house to her, maybe she'll be less furious when I break the news to her.”

It seems like he's thinking out loud more to himself, than telling you all this stuff, but you appreciate it nevertheless. It's weird hearing him saying house instead of home.

“I can still pay for the rent, I've got my maternity leave every month,” you suggest, ignoring the raise of his brow. “I don't need your money, Seokjin.”

“Debatable.” he mutters, causing your brows to twitch in irritation.

“No, I don't need it. I'm thankful for everything you're doing for us, but I don't need your money.”

Sighing, he scratches his chin as he looks at you. “I'm sorry,” he apologizes, your mouth falling open but you stay quiet. “Let me do this for you. And Yoojin.”

“I am, but I don't want you to think I need your money. Yes, you make our lives easier but I'm not your wife. I thought you knew that.” Your voice fades away, but the disappointment in it stays as Seokjin groans underneath his breath.

“Shit, I know that,” he curses, voice thick with regret. “I'm not good with words. I've never done this before and I've never met someone who didn't try to fuck me over. It's hard for me to trust someone and you're the first person-- I'm sorry. I know you don't need my money, you made that clear from the day one.”

Nibbling on your bottom lip, you let it go before you give him a soft smile. Confusion is clear on his face, probably thinking you were about to curse at him but he's just met with your smile.

“What?”

“Hm, nothing,” you hum, causing him to roll his eyes in annoyance. Well, some things haven't changed. “I just.. thank you for being so open, I think. It makes me understand you better.” you tell him honestly, seeing him look away as he plays with the grass next to him.

Is he blushing?

When he looks back at you, his eyes trail somewhere behind you before his eyes widen. You follow his vision, eyes mimicking Seokjin's expression as you see your son standing, without holding himself. He giggles and stumbles, but still doesn't reach for the tree next to him.

“Oh my god, he's standing!” you chant, clapping like a crazy woman which makes your son giggle.

“Where's my phone?” you hear Seokjin mutter, before he's snapping a few pictures of your son.

“Come here, pumpkin. You can do it, come here!” you call to him, arms outstretching as you silently call him to your embrace.

He frowns, complementing on what to do but when you clap again and call for him, he smiles. He takes a step forward, and you push the squeal that wants to rip out of your throat away, not wanting to scare him as he slowly starts walking towards you. He's wobbling, his chubby legs barely holding his balance, but he doesn't fall this time. From the corner of your eyes, you see Seokjin pointing his phone to Yoojin, recording this moment with a huge smile plastered on his lips.

“Come to mommy!” you call for him, giggling when he's almost in your embrace, loosing his balance but you're quick to catch him, causing him to giggle. “Good job!” you praise him, kissing his cheeks as you hug him closer to you.

You've never felt so proud, like this very moment. Seokjin's eyes are filled with a rare emotion, something you've never seen on his face and you wish you could snap a picture of him right now. He reaches towards you, caressing Yoojin's back as he gives him a set of praise words.

“Go to daddy,” you tell him, making sure your son is standing as he stares at his father.

He moves away, crossing his legs as he outstretches his arms the same way you did. He's smiling, eyes glistening as he wonders if his son will walk into his arms like he did to you.

“Yoojin-ah, come on. Come here.” he calls out to him, your eyes watering when he starts taking a few steps to his father, grinning at him as Seokjin starts to scream in encouragement causing you to laugh.

You've never heard him being so loud, full of joy and you pull out your phone, taking a lot of pictures as he picks up your son, bouncing him in his arms as he starts kissing his face repeatedly. It makes your son erupt into a fit of laughter, his bubbly laugh outstanding from other children's ones while you're wiping your tears, too stubborn to look away, savoring this moment.

[9:23pm] hobi: wait... he looks... happy???

The message makes you giggle, covering your mouth with the blanket before your fingers work their way onto the screen. You've sent him the video of Yoojin walking, along with the pictures you managed to snap of Seokjin kissing him.

[9:24pm] he does, i've never seen him look so happy

[9:24pm] hobi: that's good, right? is he treating you okay?

He never fails to ask the same question every time the two of you talk, but you know he's just looking out for you. And besides, today was nothing but great.

[9:25pm] yeah, he's really trying hobi

He sends you a couple of emojis of confetti, clapping hands and fireworks which makes you snort. Your giggling is interrupted with a soft knock on your bedroom door. Knowing it's Seokjin, you call out a gentle 'come in' before he opens the door. His head is the first thing that appears, as he cutely looks around noticing Yoojin's crib where he's sleeping.

He was supposed to sleep in his new crib, but he somehow didn't want to let go of you, even though he fell asleep almost immediately.

“Can I come in?” he asks you, cautiously staring at you and catching a glimpse of your exposed legs.

Slowly, you sit up and nod in response. He tries to be quiet, making his way towards the crib to check on Yoojin before he sits next to you. The fresh scent of his shower gel that he brought one day to your home lingers on his skin, his hair slightly dampened after he took a shower. He's wearing a loose shirt and some sweatpants, to stay decent. You know he likes to sleep naked most of the time, or at least that's what you always thought after he fell asleep a few times in your bed – back in the time when you messed around. He always made sure to leave after you both had sex, but there were times when he had a couple of drinks and stayed the night. But you never felt the warmth of him the next morning, no sight of him.

“He fell asleep right away. I think we tired him out.” you whisper, pointing at your son's crib as he chuckles.

“He had an eventful day.” he comments, his voice gentle and quiet not to wake him up.

He's right. After you both packed your stuff and put it into the truck of Seokjin's car, you went to eat ice cream and walked around for a few minutes, before it was time to go back home. Seokjin took a bath with Yoojin, playing with him in the water and you left them there, and cooked dinner.

“Can't sleep?” you ask quietly, making out his features thanks to the moon and opened blinds.

“Yeah,” he mutters. “Can you? I heard you giggling.”

“Oh, it was just something Hobi sent me,” you wave your hand, silently watching him in the darkness.

Luckily, Hoseok visited you more often, even when Seokjin was present and even though the atmosphere is awkward most of the time, at least they don't want to rip each other heads anymore.

“Thank you for taking us out today, Yoojin was so happy.” You feel the need to tell him that.

He's not a kid who needs to get praised at every single good thing he does, yet you want to show him your gratitude. He's been involved in Yoojin's and your life more with each passing month. Maybe it's weird but you feel like a family. You raise him together, even though Seokjin officially doesn't live with you, but he's spending most of his time with you. This actually works nicely, way better than you've ever imagined.

And the littlest smile that ghosts his lips whenever you show him your gratitude doesn't go unnoticed, even though he tries to hide it. It's the same one that's hidden by the darkness in your bedroom.

“Were you?” he asks, head tilting towards you, although you can't see his eyes clearly.

“Huh?

“Happy,” he whispers, “Were you happy?”

You're taken back by his question. Does he really care about your happiness? You can't believe your own ears. You knew he's not such a bad guy as he makes himself out to be – hence all the gestures he's done for you, like sending you money and making sure you live in a nice place. There are a lot of things he's done, nice things that made you even more confused by him. But he's never been so straight forward. Until these recent days.

“Yes,” you answer him, “Were you happy?” you ask him back, watching his broad shoulders as he stays quiet for a moment.

“Yes.” he whispers, turning to you and you automatically smile at him, not even sure if he can properly see you.

“I'm glad, I don't think I've ever seen you happy.” you admit, wondering if you're pushing his buttons too much.

“I don't really show emotions but I don't think I've ever been happy. I kind of just... lived.”

The lamp that slowly creates in your throat makes you painfully swallow, your heart shivering of sadness from hearing those words. He says it lightly, although the meaning behind it is sad. You put your hand on his back, caressing his tensed muscles as you scoot closer to him. He's warm, inviting almost and you hate yourself for craving his touch.

“Are you happy now?” you hesitate to ask, but relax when he doesn't seem too tensed from your question.

Slowly, he turns around, your hand falling off his back as he stares at you. It's hard to see his eyes, but you know he's looking at you. He reaches towards your face, caressing your soft skin as his thumb swipes across your lips. Your breath hitches but you don't dare to look away or flinch, it feels too good to do that.

“I'd like to think that I am.” he answers.

It's something about the tone and the way he says it, making it sound painful yet smooth and joyful. He's a one big mystery you were always trying to solve, but if he's not the one opening himself to you, it's pointless. But you see it now. So many things have changed and you get to know a new side of him, each layer he has, almost every day.

You don't know who moves the first, maybe the both of you at the same time, as your lips crashes together in a soft and slow manner. It's been so long since you've felt those lips against your own, enjoying how perfect they feel. As expected, he takes over the kiss, leading you the entire time as you adjust to his pace. It should be embarrassing how quick he has you squirming in your spot and groaning into the kiss, whenever he pulls onto your bottom lip. He cups your face for the better measure, while the other one holds your neck and fuck, how amazing it feels.

Even when your back meets the softness of your mattress, and your neck Seokjin's lips, you know you're utterly fucked. He hovers over you, kissing every sensitive spot which makes you giddy over the fact, he still remembers what makes you moan and clench around nothing.

His thigh is settled between your legs, and when he lightly nibbles onto your weak spot with his teeth, you automatically grind against him. He shushes your moans with his mouth, leaving your mouths connected before has to pull away after a couple of seconds.

“Jin,” you plead, arms hooked around his neck as you pull him closer.

The chuckle that leaves his mouth is shushed, but very audible to your ears as he nudges your nose with his own. “What do you want?”

Of course, he knows what you want from him. He just likes you to say it, even beg for it.

“You,” you whisper, arms traveling down his broad shoulders making its way to his defined chest and abs. “I want you.”

“Is that so?” he hums, nudging your cheekbone with his nose this time. “Are you sure?” he asks when he receives a few set of nods in response.

Your hand trails down, cupping him through his sweatpants, surprised when it's the only clothing separating his length and your hand. What shocks you the most, is the obvious erection poking underneath the thin material and how just the feel of it makes you aroused.

“Naughty,” he comments, pushing away the groan that wants to escape past his lips, clenching his jaw when you stroke him. He sits back on his knees, motioning for you to sit up and you obey, letting him taking off your loose shirt.

Now that you think about it, it seems like it's one of Seokjin's shirts he forgot here. If he noticed such a little detail, he doesn't comment it and softly lays you back down. You bite onto your lips, feeling his palm against your breast, groping the soft flesh.

“So big,” he hums, noticing how bigger they seem and feel ever since you got pregnant. Surprisingly, he leans against your chest, sucking on your nipple as he licks it a few times.

Your palm slaps against your mouth, silencing all those moans and soft groans. He does the same thing to the other breast, coating it with his saliva as he trails down onto your stomach, kissing and licking your skin.

You haven't thought about having sex for a long time, there was never a proper time to think about such thing. You've spent all your time taking care of Yoojin, that the thought of another man and your intimate life was the least of your worries. There were times your hormones would act up, and you craved for someone else's touch. Your mind often drifted to the man that's enveloping your body with his mouth, no matter how many times you've reminded yourself that he's not right for you.

You were so busy trying to be the best mother you could be, that you never really thought about having sex after nine months you gave birth. You got in shape, although your body is not what it used to be. Your breasts got bigger and you still got some fat on your stomach and thighs. And for this very time, you're lucky there's a darkness in the room and Seokjin can't tell all the stretchmarks that failed to disappear.

His hand disappears between your thighs, chuckling when he notes you've no underwear. “Naughty girl.” he chuckles, circling your opening teasingly as you bite onto your lower lip.

It hurts, but you've to keep your mouth shut if you don't want to wake up your son.

“Can you...” he trails off, your mind clouded with lust before you realize what he's asking.

“Yeah.” you answer, giving him the green light as he slowly pushes a one finger inside of you.

It feels weird, almost as if it's the first time you ever experienced this particular touch. Although, it doesn't take you too long to get used to it, hips bucking into his hand as you plead him for more. Surprisingly, he doesn't insist on begging, listening to you as he watches your body squirm in pleasure. He pumps his fingers inside and out, grazing your walls before he scissors them, penetrating you.

“Fuck, you got so tight.” he groans, pumping his fingers before he kisses you.

He barely used to do that. He barely kissed you during sex, and if he did, it was always harsh and rushed. This seems to be slow, but intense at the same time.

You've heard so much stuff of women getting even tighter after they gave birth. You weren't sure if that's true but if Seokjin can tell a difference and he's telling the truth, you guess all those articles were right. Woman's body is something amazing. It goes to its original state even after bringing a human into the world.

He adds another, silently shushing you when you whimper.

“I know, gotta stretch you out,” he whispers, pushing onto your clit with his thumb while his fingers continue to fill you up. “Have you had sex after you gave birth?”

There's a possibility he feels unsure, but he doesn't stop and continues with his movements as if he's not asking you such an intimate question.

Would he be angry if you said yes?

Would he become possessive all over again?

“No,” you whisper, clutching the sheets between your fingers. “You're my first.” you tell him, and you wish you could see his reaction more clearly. This way it seems he barely reacted, although he goes down to bite onto your collarbone which leaves you gasping.

You clutch his shoulders, frowning when he's still fully clothed. “And you?”

“You mean, if I had sex after giving birth?” he snorts, causing you to roll your eyes at him before you groan both in annoyance and pleasure.

“You know what I mean.”

“Then the answer is no,” he tells you, mouth pressed against your ear, so you can hear him clearly. “I haven't had sex with anyone else.”

“That's hard to believe.” you choke out, when he adds his fourth fingers making you breathe through it with a scrunched face.

He gives you the time to adjust, halting his movements. “I didn't. Believe it or not, I've found it hard to find someone else. Not that I was really looking for someone.”

It's the honesty that makes you pause, your heart hammering even faster and you wonder if he can feel it too with his chest pressed against your own. Before you can question him, your curiosity getting the best of you, he's already pumping his fingers again. Deciding you want to feel him, you hook your fingers underneath the hem of his sweatpants, hand disappearing into them as you finally grab him. He groans, surprised by your bolt move, as you slowly pump him.

You were right. He's not wearing any underwear, making it easier for you to access him. He feels just as thick as you remember him, the weight in your palm causing you to clench around his fingers.

“I need you.” you whisper, clearly enough for him to hear because you see him pulling away, staring at you.

“Don't you wanna cum? It'll be easier for me to--”

“I'm sure,” you interrupt him, pulling your hand out of his sweatpants. “Take your clothes off.” you tell him softly, surprised when he actually listens to you without any side remarks.

The loud thud of his clothes makes you both freeze, waiting for Yoojin to wake up but you barely hear the soft puffs leaving from the crib, before he goes back to you. You sit up, pushing him to lay down as he stares at you in confusion. There's not much place or time to actually speak, you're both aware you have to be quiet. Maybe you should just move it to the living room, but there's something thrilling about having sex knowing you've to keep your mouth shut.

“I wanna ride you.” you whisper, already sitting down onto his abdomen, his hardened length poking you into your ass.

“Holy fuck.” he grunts, hands gripping your hips before you lift yourself up, enough to grab his length and make yourself more comfortable.

His head pokes your entrance, your walls clenching just from the thought of feeling him stretching you, as you slide him up and down. Your other hand is outstretched onto his defined abs, feeling how tense they're. You know you're teasing him, but he doesn't say anything and simply lets you take the lead.

Maybe it's the understatement, knowing you're about to have sex for the first time since Yoojin was born. Or maybe he just got a lot more understanding, appreciating current situation. You'd never have thought it'd come to this again, even though your dreams have been wild these couple of months.

Slowly and cautiously, you slide down onto him, your mouth opening at the sudden stretch and burn that his fingers couldn't do. This way, he reaches you even deeper and he's not even halfway in. He's groaning, doing an awful job to contain the pleasure, while you whimper with each inch that you take him.

This has to be difficult for him too. If he's really telling the truth, which you believe him, he haven't had sex for a long time.

Oh, if you just knew he's minutes from spilling himself like some teenager.

Maybe it's just that exact reason, him not having sex for a long time. Or it's you and the way you feel around his length, making him throb inside of you as he twitches when you finally take all of him. A few seconds of adjusting yourself to his huge length, and you're already bouncing on him. Your arms failing you, your body falling onto Seokjin's chest as he holds your body even closer, meeting your thrusts with his hips. He's fucking into you, taking the control even though you're the one on top. He envelopes you in his arms, making you feel closer to him than ever.

You can't describe it, but this time it's different. It's not just sex full of lust and pleasure, there's something else there. You know you don't love each other, but there is a certain kind of chemistry going between you two. Instead of fucking you so hard trying to chase his own pleasure, his movements are quick but still soft. It might sound stupid or ridiculous, but it feels lot more closer. Like there's an actual connection between you two, and it's not just from the fact he's inside of you.

“Fuck, Jin, I can't--” you whimper into his neck, silencing your moans as he starts to fasten up.

“Come on, cum for me. Let me feel you.” he grunts into your hair, digging his fingers into your back and hips as he urges you to cum.

With a few more thrusts, you're cumming around him as your whole body shakes, but he's there to hold you through it.

”Shhh, you did so great. You were amazing.” he shushes you, his length twitching inside of you, reminding you of its presence and need.

You slide off him, settling yourself between his legs before you take him into your mouth, hand gripping the rest that you can't take. Bobbing your head and stroking him with your hand, you feel his fingers grabbing your hair. Swiping your tongue and repeating the same process couple of times, causes him to let out a low growl as he's spilling himself into your mouth. He twitches in your mouth, emptying himself and when he's done, he sighs.

You let him go with a pop sound, swallowing all of his cum as you sit down onto your knees, wiping your mouth with the back of your hand.

“That was... fucking amazing.” he breathes out, his rigid breathing filling the bedroom.

The sex itself wasn't the longest you both had, but it was intense and probably the best one. Something's telling you he thinks the same thing as he seems to be far more affected than ever.

“Yeah,” you chuckle, agreeing with him as you stand up.

“Where are you going?” he asks immediately, already leaning against his elbows as he watches you in the darkness.

“To take a shower,” you answer, stating the obvious while a surprised 'oh' leaves his mouth. “Can you please watch Yoojin?”

He coughs, nodding his head remembering that you can't probably see him that well. “Sure.”

You go take a shower, smiling giddily for the whole time the water splashes onto your body, ignoring the little jumps your heart does every time you replay what has just happened. When you're done, Seokjin takes his turn to take a shower while you can't fall asleep. Staring at the ceiling, you're surprised when the bedroom door are pushed open. You don't move, nor close your eyes as you feel him getting into your bed. You don't comment it, nor does he. You're not even sure if he knows you're still awake and you wonder what's been going on in his head again.

What made him to come here and sleep next to you?

Nevertheless of your raging thoughts, you find yourself relaxing when you feel a warm body next to you. Small part of you wishes he'd pull you closer, letting you feel his warmth properly.

But even without that, you manage to fall asleep in a minute, enjoying his proximity and warmth while it lasts. And for the first time, you wake up next to him peacefully dreaming and sleeping in your bed.

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