#and how perfect and right it seems
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the strength it must have taken for illario to not immediately go full 'lmao since when have you even had a kiss hello lucanis' sibling violence mode during the café talk. inspirational. rook and lucanis really were doing all that right in front of his salad huh
#lucanis is being SO cringe with that line right out there in public and I would die for him. it's just such a weird thing to say#tbf if anyone in the world is used to the insane things lucanis says and would go 'yes yes lucanis waxing poetic about coffee#in ways normal people reserve for trying to get in someone's pants (the roast won't fuck you lucanis)#we've all heard it' like it's all normal I suppose it would be illario. and also he's too busy with the 'shit fuck shit he's not dead#he's not dead of the family members 'supposed' to be dead we're at two definite failures out of two and woe me if the twain should meet#if that IS a demon in there it sure talks exactly in the same bizarre way only my cousin does#does that mean anything what the fuck do I do who do I kill about this' internal monologue I guess#dragon age#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age: the veilguard spoilers#dragon age spoilers#illario dellamorte#lucanis dellamorte#rook x lucanis#rookanis#I mean he does very much say that to a non-romancing rook too which only makes it all the more delightfully odd#is it a very lucaniscore way of testing the waters. is it just how he always talks about coffee. many plausible approaches here#no one forced him to bring up kisses and 'you should try it' out of the blue like that is all I'm saying. he could have acted normal#(theoretically)#i feel there are reasons to read some stuff into it lol#lucanis when rye says he prefers tea: it's so over cautious overture I don't quite understand myself yet gently rebuffed#lucanis when rye takes him up on the 'so what should a first kiss be' theme: oh we're so back!!!! wait. what. what do I do now#what is this#it's kind of really sweet that rook answers with their own playfully florid beverage based barely hidden metaphor at the end too#matching freaks and having fun with it#as far as lucanis is concerned rye's only true flaws are 1) prefers tea to coffee (oh well. no one can be perfect. cross-cultural love#can conquer all even in this) and 2) weird taste in interior design (did we really HAVE to bring your 15 foot tall corpse statues#with us home rook. I can understand a tasteful skull here and there but this seems excessive. well if it makes you happy I guess)
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🔧🦴— A Date with Death x Dog Man AU
ESP: ¿Cómo sigues vivo?
Silly au idea I made for a friend @loafdy
#my art#I don't know how many of yall are familiar with the game#But the idea of Petey trying to get DMs soul is funny to me#and DM being able to survive near accidents seems pretty right to me#Petey's little chair was so perfect for the redraw#dog man#dog man au#a date with death#detey#dog man fanart#petey the cat#petey the worlds most evilest cat#jail break
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Colson Baker (aka Machine Gun Kelly) | December 2021
#colson baker#machine gun kelly#mgk#mgkedit#words of wisdom right here okay#I've never made gifs of him before... mainly because I'm not a strong enough soldier to deal with the intense hate this man gets online tbh#but this has just been sitting with me for awhile now#the way it seems like everyone (mostly online but also irl) expects other people to always be perfect#to always have the most correct and perfect opinion. or always put out the best image of themselves.#or share the most perfect version of their art#to immediately know how to properly execute a new skill#what happened to growing together and encouraging growth in others?#we shouldn't be scared to be seen TRYING#and responding to people who don't have it all figured out yet with just hate or mockery doesn't encourage growth or change#I'll stop now thank you for coming to my ted talk#my gifs#I’m gonna queue this up for a random day and forget about it I’m sure#queued post
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Potential March Reads
Wandering by Loren G. Warnemunde
Spe Salvi by Pope Benedict XVI
The Secret Garden by Frances Hodgson Burnett
The Heir and the Spare by Kate Stradling (plus Maid and Minstrel and/or Brine and Bone)
The Lord of the Rings by J.R.R. Tolkien
The Light Princess by George Macdonald
The Hunger Games trilogy (and possible Sunrise on the Reaping by Suzanne Collins)
#monthly reading lists#books#i'm hoping to read the first two before my ebook ban starts on wednesday#i've got a physical copy of the third book in warnemunde's trilogy on my shelf#it'll be a perfect lent read but i have to make sure i finish book 2 first#i've gone from 30% to 60% in the past day so i should be able to finish#(it got better once i pushed through the overly-detailed explanations of the political situation)#i've got to read benedict's second encyclical now that i've read the first#i should be able to fit it in before wednesday#i heard 'the secret garden' mentioned and it seems like an excellent time for a reread#(especially since rebekah's going to be posting about it)#the heir and the spare is a lenten must-read#i've been making myself wait for weeks now#(and after reading one of her books i always need a second so i've got the novellas on hand)#i *really* would like to be able to read the mount doom chapter on the feast of the annunciation#i doubt i'll be able to squeeze in a full-series reread before then#so i may just reread that chapter on the day#i heard 'the light princess' mentioned and felt it was the perfect time of year for a reread#and i'll finally read my illustrated copy!#considering rereading thg trilogy before the prequel arrives#i doubt it will happen#i'm not sure i'll finish the new book before the end of the month#depends how much of a chonker it is#there are other things on my shelf that *aren't* rereads that i may get to#but the rereads are what are sticking out to me right now#i'll wait and see what else appeals to me as the month goes on
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jeff blim as the narrator is so cunty hes having the time of his life!! he makes the whole thing so fun!! if theres one thing that man will do it’s serve physicality EVERY TIME
#jeff blim is the epitome of stage acting#even when hes dancing as the narrator it just has this flair to it#his delivery his fourth wall breaks MWAH#everyone adores his characters where he gets to be off the charts feral but i love the ones w sarcasm and tongue in cheek commentary#dont get me started on the eyeliner as well i wont shut up about it#im like. bitter with gender envy#looooove it when jeff blim gets to prance around on a stage and talk to the audience#he said yeah you know what this show needs? PIZZAZZ! and he was right#the narrator at the very end jumping into the spotlight <3 mouthing ‘the wanking couch?’ to the audience <3 dealing w ragweed <3#hm im starting to think maybe the narrator is my favourite character………#starkid#tilda rambling#jeff blim#cinderella's castle#cinderella’s castle spoilers#cinderellas castle spoilers#with a character like the narrator the options on how to play it are so open ended it can almost seem overwhelming#somehow he picked the perfect one
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tmbg lyrics really scratch that particular itch for me of writing that is somehow both literal and direct and elliptical and metaphorical.
#tmbg#they might be giants#there's metaphorical writing where you understand it right away.#but a metaphor is being used to communicate abstract ideas or complex concepts that are otherwise difficult to succinctly explain#and the comparison is the best way to get everybody on the same page. so it's purposefully something you're supposed to immediately Get.#but I love magic eye illusion-level obfuscation where the lyrics seem dreamlike at first and appear to mean nothing at all#then you take a step back and it makes Perfect sense once you clear the filter of defamiliarisation#and it's so clever and admirable how the subject has been approached that way.#but I equally love the rambling stream of consciousness verbosity#of a character reciting their direct unromantic thoughts that feel as if they should be clunky#but have every syllable and sound carefully chosen in order to flow perfectly.
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y'know, probably because i hate simple power dynamics a lot, but i really love how weird and complicated power dynamics are in tlt.
like, in gtn, harrow makes the assumption that coronabeth is "the dominant" in her relationship with ianthe, but we as the audience know that ianthe has power over her because of coronabeth's secret, and coronabeth often ends up coming across as more submissive in her interactions with ianthe.
harrow holds a significant amount of power over gideon, but gideon also holds more power over her than she herself is aware of, because all of gideon's actions affect harrow.
john is the most powerful character in the entire series, but his personality is so docile and non-confrontational that even as god, he's more likely to obey than demand.
then, and thank you tamsyn muir so much for writing them the way you did, there's characters like cam and pal, who seem to have no power dynamic at all. they're equals. camilla obeys palamedes, but not because she has to, rather because their goals almost always align. palamedes takes camilla's advice and supports her in any way he can, not because he's afraid of her or she holds power over him, but rather because he trusts her to know what to do. they work as one.
that's why paul can exist as the perfect lyctor, because they're made up of two souls working together, rather than one soul consuming or suppressing another.
#with that being said#i do still think that if jalecto acheives perfect lyctorhood alecto's soul is still gonna be a bit stronger than john's#but y'know what? to me that's how it should be.#that as a power dynamic feels natural.#just like camilla and palamedes becoming one feels like the right thing for them#john becoming just a part of alecto seems like the perfect end for him.#oh also somewhat relevant to this post: the general idea of the cavalier/necromancer dynamic is so interesting#technically the necromancer holds the power. but the cavalier IS the power.#the sword and the hand that wields it etc etc#also necromancers being physically weaker and often smaller#whereas cavaliers literally have to be strong for their job#creates another interesting dynamic#the locked tomb#tlt#tlt spoilers#gtn spoilers#htn spoilers#ntn spoilers#paul tlt#palamedes sextus#camilla hect#gideon nav#harrowhark nonagesimus#ianthe tridentarius#coronabeth tridentarius#john gaius
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New lore drop: this is why they broke Vaggie's halo, so she couldn't break their holy weapon in return
I love the implications that they know the halos will break their holy weapons, but didn't realize those same weapons could kill them. The Exorcists really be living that reckless life.
#tho i do love the fact that the angels not knowing their blessed weapons could kill them is the perfect example of their own arrogance#they really thought they were invincible#they really just left their weapons lying around after each Extermination#didnt even seem to care#wow#Vaggie is right#how did no one realize this#asks#anon#anonyous
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...
#it's strange to have a self contained perfectionism. i know other people who wish they could control other people out of being chaotic.#people who try to make everything black or white. people who want to always be in control of their situation and the big dangerous vehicles#they travel within. but that's not how my control issues manifest. i think people are allowed to be messy and irratic. i like when#situations and ideas are nuanced. i would rather not be in complete control of my surroundings. the only thing i need complete and utter#control of is myself. i am not allowed to be messy. i want everything about myself to be black or white. i want to have complete control of#this human vessel. my perfectionism is self contained. and its deeply irrational. and deeply frustrating because my perfectionism is#imperfect and lazy. because im getting better and its difficult but easier than i would have expected. and rationally i know thats a good#thing but then all i see is my lack of conviction. if i was more perfect i would be worse. if i was more perfect someone would have noticed#how sick i was or would have actually said or done something. someone would have stopped me. so i wasnt really that sick and im not really#that sick now. and its not a big deal. because it all seems so easy now. so it seems like i was just a slightly odd very quiet kid with#control issues who stopped eating and never learned how to take up any space. and i get so fucking frustrated at every doctor i talk to#because they all treat me so gently and talk to me so cautiously and i know thats their job and i know they're saying the right things. but#its not like i stumbled blindly into this. i did it intentionally and maliciously. i know its a road paved in suffering and ending in death.#that was the point. this wasnt born of vanity it was born of malice. and youre only worried now because im telling you to worry so shut the#fuck up and let me fix my own problem. its just that i never intended to make is this far and that me of the past was trying to poison my#future. so i have 15yrs curroded and spongy from wishing death upon myself. and now that the idea of my box of ashes sitting on my dad's#mantle next to my mom's rips me apart i have to find a new path forward. even when all i can think is that i still wish i was worse#resenting that i have to get better when it feels easier to be distructive. if you hand me a knife my instict is to twist it in my gut. so#what now? its just irritating. because i always was and remain a picky eater so i have to choose to choke down whats on my plate.#anyway. just another adventure in the eternal paradox of internal perfectionism while being a compulsively analytical ecologist.#unrelated
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i'm sure i am not the only one who is very concerned about the ~4 hours between when the midjourney change was made, and I knew to go opt out of it, so; glaze does not need to be on all your works to be effective. in the same way that one artist glazing all their works will ruin a broad, multi-artist dataset, glazing your works moving forward will ruin any dataset trained on you. if out of 100 comics I've posted, 10 are glazed, a dataset trained on all of my comics will not be able to make anything similar to my style. anyways. go download glaze.
#ofc a manual review of the data set could pick out anything glazed. ig the point for me is to force that manual review#though wider adoption of glaze is not a perfect or even workable solution for many. my computer is 10 years old and runs glaze but#thats pretty lucky on my part. and the '100 comics' thing isnt perfect bc. im not using glaze on my comics. it looks really bad.#and there's not a real risk of someone using my art to train a data set bc. like. cartoons exist.#like you probably SHOULD glaze everything especially from now on#but if like me the idea of trawling your entire internet presence seems so daunting youd almost sooner delete it all#posting Some poison is better than posting No poison#but most important is not being paralyzed into inaction by how daunting the task is. even if that does mean no poison#im trying out what works and what does not right now for me. and i guess my advice is that you do too even if that means making a pillowfor#lol
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i completely understand the bisexual headcanons but there is something so 👌👏👍🤌 about gay and lesbian steve and nancy. like...the comphet is brain deadening.
#nancy in particular#like she dates steve because thats what she is supposed to want and she gets so much positive reinforcement#but she thinks she actually wants jonathan#because he's sensitive and maybe a bit feminine and not what is expected of her at all#and maybe thats better#maybe she just needs a different type of man#but#it still isn't right#it still isnt enough#she wants....she wants...fuck she WANTS#and steve just flirts with every conventually attractive girl#if he can just have the perfect girlfriend and be the perfect boyfriend it will all be ok#he seems baffled by the idea that he is supposed to date someone he really truly likes#of course its all about image what else is there?#i just think its neat#i almost never see bi eddie and gay steve i think that would be fun#stranger things#steve harrington#nancy wheeler#steddie#also like i love steve and i dont think nancy handed it well (understandable) but#their relationship WAS bullshit#i think steve really thought they were in love but i also don't think he really understood what that is#or what it could be (like this is canon to me)#i think nancy knew on some level they were both pretending maybe she didnt realize steve didnt know this#and so like sure maybe men are hot sometimes like whatever it doesn't mean anything tho#he wants a wife and kids so it doesn't matter#and then he gets with (eddie) and is just like ???? what are these feelings?? how is he so hot??? sex is so good now????#is this how its supposed to feel??
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i'm writing this before new years actually happens bc idk if im even gonna be awake at midnight but I did this last year too I think but I wanted to keep up with it because I feel like...there's a lot that went down this year so :) cheers
I was reflecting this time last year I was still in medschool and studying in the UK for a dream that I honestly didn't really believe in, just following what was expected of me and just hoping for the best.
But at the end of 2023, I swore to myself that the shit year that 2023 was, I'd never take those grievances with me into 2024.
And I didn't. 2024 marked a huge huge turning point and a big leap for me as a person where after all these years of wondering and feeling very disconnected with myself, I finally took steps to seek myself out - to reconnect with the things I love and am passionate for.
And I'm so glad that I took those steps - leaving medschool and pursuing my hobby in voice acting - a dream that I just accepted as a dead dream - because now we're in the new year, and the amount of VA projects I got in was awesome. Not to mention now turning one of my big interests into a personal VA passion project as well...
This doesn't mean anything to anyone but me but
This was how much work I did as a VA starting end of May. It's not even an entire year, and that's amazing to me because getting 20 roles is crazy. Albeit, a lot of those are projects that never went through, but the fact I got that many is still astounding for someone who just restarted her career again in VA.
So I'm proud of it. I'm proud of what I accomplished there. And while I'll be pursuing something else in line with psychology and peds, I think at the end of the day, my greatest love is in VA.
So I'm happy for 2024, even despite all the hardships that I had to go through (mostly familial drama). I'm proud of myself for pursuing something I genuinely love and finding something that makes me happy to do rather than burning myself out so much that I lost interest in living.
And for the people that had been very supportive me during that whole journey because it was quite the rocky road. idk if Ev is gonna read this but Ev and my irl friend Nick have been really supportive of me on my journey and having to hear the va updates all throughout the journey and all the ups and downs that came along with it, so I really appreciate them for being there while I was trying to find myself.
So I really really hope that I can bring that joy I found and that confidence that I have of my future into 2025. And I hope that confidence continues to grow in the next year so I can be happier to share all these things I accomplish and continue to grow and develop further as a person.
2024 was my first step into becoming me. Let 2025 be the plunge into myself.
#avil speaks#theres probably a lot more i'd like to say about this but. i really dont remember what else i wanted to say#but thats the main thing on my mind at least right now#because its been on my mind all morning#like truth be told: it started off a really really lousy morning#but i said this already to ev but today seems like a perfect summary of how this entire year went for me#i almost want to laugh bc its just something out of a book the way that its a perfect summary - like the author had written it out and#plotted this perfectly#awful really lol#but yeah. ill just write that for now. if i come back later with more things to yap about . dont worry bout it slkdjfah
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chapter 1 of reassassination's nearly done script-wise! hopefully the next chapters won't take like 6 months of on-and-off work to complete lol
#but i have GOOD REASON as to why it took so long#1. i had no clue how exactly to write the characters and they literally swapped characterisation with every scene#luckily now i've solidified krankenstein as a paranoid control freak#and octavia as a superficially cool girl with a sailor's mouth and zero social awareness#honestly its so hard to explain her chara. basically: character who seems stoic and cool and mysterious but is actually just super autistic#2. i had NO CLUE how and when to expose information#now chapter 1 only gives a superficial look at krank and octavia's characters and the most basic info about postmortem#and the “rules” of octavia (perfect pendant etc)#and 3. i was writing it like a standalone for a while#i had to put a lot of changes into the script in order to turn the chapter into the foundation for a few opening “mini-arcs”#of which will give a lot of characterisation and purpose into postmortem highschool characters#like onion and jaundice#rather than being kind of disconnected like before#anyway now that im nearly done all i need to do is FINALFINALFINALise the designs#(which will probably have a shit ton more changes to make em actually drawable over and over again)#and design environments and props (like krankenstein medical clinic and postmortem as a whole)#even so i only want to start releasing the comic when at least a quarter of the scripts are done and the story is 100% finalised#i have a lot of freedom being out of school right now so i want to write as much as possible#so i guess it will release around late 2025 or mid 2026 in the best case scenario assuming something insane doesnt happen to me
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my take on the agnes/gertrude/elias situationship is that gertrude seems like the most normal one to outsiders (she's less prone to arson/creepy mind reading at inopportune moments), but she is still the archivist and therefore kind of eldritch. everyone in the institute has just sort of accepted that yes, the archivist does sleep with her eyes open/is muttering incantations, and it's the least weird thing she's done this week
ok the funny thing is, technically, if by "most normal" we're going off of who is the most human, Gertrude is the normal one. but I don't believe for a second that that's how she's perceived among the rest of the archive staff lmao. like...all her assistants wind up dead, she actively works to make sure her filing system is the least effective one possible, she takes random mysterious vacations and comes back looking like she's just gone ten rounds with a tornado...I absolutely think that Gertrude has the reputation of being the eccentric on staff. I've prepared this diagram to illustrate my point:
#asks#tma#my art#thanks for your ask!! you're absolutely right that there isn't really a 'normal' one out of the three of them lol#'does your elias design have glasses or not lani' the answer to that is that he has glasses if im having trouble#drawing his face without them#my jonah has glasses 100% of the time so uh lets say he was myopic originally and his sight got better when he aligned himself with the eye#so he doesnt NEED them anymore but after wearing them for so long he kinda liked how he looked in them#and sometimes they add something to a look yknow#(i wear glasses and i actually think i look better in them i would miss them if my eyes suddenly were perfect)#so he sometimes still wears them. and if he doesnt feel like it everyone else just assumes hes got contacts in that day#ANYWAY that is irrelevant to the content of this ask. uh i think gertrude being weird and scary and never seeming to do her actual job is a#running joke among archives staff. like they make up potential crazy things gertrude could be doing right now whenever she's late or#on vacation (they could never come up with anything wilder than what she's REALLY doing)
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ok yk what. now that i’ve had some time to process nghy canon, considering the current pacing of gen retcon, i think their next step is as ✨clear as day✨
i really like seeing them happy together, but i truly do think that they should divorce and either live the rest of their lives as single besties; partners in hero/heroine-isms, but better off as just friends, or go their separate ways for a bit and get back together when they’re a little older and wiser, staying together for good this time around, as each other’s first and last boyfriend/girlfriend
#‘haven’t you had quite enough of pushing your divorce agendas??? like with lxl????’ no. never.#idk i think part of their charm was nagisa’s patience and genuine earnest love for hiyori#and hiyori’s determination to achieve her goals of becoming a true heroine in every sense of the word…#but the current pacing is kinda… um. i really love how nghy is now truly canon ofc. but… it feels too rushed?#like they’re just checking off a box on a ‘relationships to go’ checklist?#and nagisa’s sudden second confession? in a throwaway line? what was that all about man… when did that even happen? excuse?#i think it’d have been more meaningful if hiyori was the one to confess without any prompting (to lead to their relationship)…#and. uh. don’t take this the wrong way but… noontea seemed a little peer pressure-y to me.#it kinda felt like juri and chizu were pressuring hiyori into getting a bf… it’s been eating away at me ever since i tried to tl it. but.#…idk. point is. i think a relationship built on those foundations (peer pressure/fomo and a suddenly persistent guy(???)) is doomed to fail#and so i think nghy should divorce. maybe they’ll reconnect romantically in a few years#(fulfilling nagisa’s agreement to be hiyori’s ‘last bf’ as well as having been her ‘first bf’ during their first try at a relationship)#or they could just be besties till the end of time; having been each other’s hero and heroine once upon a time#ik hw doesn’t do breakups of their main couples (not since nakimushi kareshi eons ago i think…)#but i think they should give it another go for nghy. maybe it’d make their love story a little more compelling#and maybe we could all unite under the cheers of hoping that ng and hy get back together in the future as more mature adults…?#idk i just. think the ‘right person; wrong time’ trope could work for nghy#like how it went in sukiuso/heroika with nagisa’s failed confession#even then they were the right person for each other; it just wasn’t the right time for them to date (personal goals/long distance/etc)#so maybe. this time ‘round even though they’ve started dating circumstances could still pop up here and there and maybe…?#…but idk~~~~~~~~ maybe it’s just the 5am thoughts or something that’s finally putting my incoherent trains of thoughts into words…#point is!!!!!! the current pacing is awkward!!!!!!!!! nghy deserve better!!!!!!! and their love story needs to be treated with more care!!!!#idk are hw trying to speedrun nghy for h10w bc nghy’s. like. a mix of different features of their previous couples#which would make ‘em the perfect couple to bring h10w together(???) or something???#but idk. im still really really happy the nghy is canon but. there are some mixed feelings here and there too…#idk dudes this has gotten way too long for its own good so ig i’ll stop here…#live laugh love nghy canon but… i still think they should break up for *at least* a year or so to reasses their relationship#sorry nghy… it’s for your own good i swear… i truly want you to be happy together!!!! i really do!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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