#and how much physical therapy helps with it

[woso-story]

The Weight Of Love And Loss- Part Five

Alexia Putellas x Reader - Part One Two Three Four Six

The apartment felt unbearable. Alexia had barely lasted two days after your conversation in the café before she packed a small bag and left for Mapi and Ingrid’s. The weight of the emptiness, the silence, and the memories crushed her. Every corner of the space carried a piece of you: your favorite blanket draped over the couch, the little succulent you insisted on keeping in the kitchen, the faint smell of your perfume lingering in the hallway.

But what hurt the most was the bedroom. The space that had once been filled with whispered laughter and quiet intimacy now felt cold and sterile. She hadn’t been able to sleep in the bed after you left, curling up instead on the couch, hoping exhaustion would eventually overtake her.

It never did.

“I can’t do it,” Alexia had admitted to Mapi when she arrived at their doorstep. Her voice was barely above a whisper, and her eyes were rimmed red from days of crying. “I can’t stay there.”

Mapi had simply pulled her into a hug, murmuring, “You don’t have to. Stay as long as you need.”

Ingrid prepared the guest room for her, making it as comfortable as possible. Alexia spent her first night at their place sitting by the window, staring out into the city lights, wondering how things had spiraled so far out of control.

---

The first few days at Mapi and Ingrid’s were a blur. Alexia felt like a shadow of herself, existing but not living. Mapi tried her best to cheer her up, dragging her to brunches with teammates or movie nights in the living room. But no matter how much Alexia tried to participate, the ache in her chest never went away.

One evening, Alexia was scrolling through her phone when she stumbled upon an old photo of the two of you. It was from a lazy Sunday morning, your hair tousled from sleep as you grinned at the camera, Alexia’s arm wrapped around you. The caption read: My favorite mornings.

Her chest tightened as tears welled in her eyes. She quickly put the phone down and buried her face in her hands.

Mapi found her like that, sitting at the dining table with silent tears streaming down her cheeks.

“You have to stop torturing yourself, Ale,” Mapi said softly, sitting beside her.

“I can’t help it,” Alexia whispered. “I miss her. And it’s my fault she’s gone.”

“You can’t change the past,” Mapi replied. “But you can work on the future. You’ve already taken the first step by recognizing what went wrong. Now you have to keep going.

It was easier said than done.

---

At Mapi’s insistence, Alexia made an appointment with a psychologist. It wasn’t an easy decision—Alexia had always prided herself on being strong, someone who could handle anything life threw at her. Admitting that she needed help felt like admitting defeat.

Her first session was stiff and uncomfortable. She answered the psychologist’s questions with short, guarded responses, unwilling to let her walls down. But something shifted in the second session.

“I lost her,” Alexia found herself saying, her voice breaking. “Because I couldn’t see what I was doing. I thought I was protecting her by not letting her in, but I was just pushing her away.”

For the first time, she spoke openly about the pressure she’d felt after her injury—the fear of being forgotten, of losing her place on the team, of failing to live up to everyone’s expectations. And slowly, session by session, she began to unravel the tangle of emotions she’d been carrying for months.

---

Alexia threw herself into her recovery, but this time, she approached it differently. Instead of overtraining to the point of exhaustion, she followed her physio’s advice to the letter, focusing on both her physical and mental well-being.

Her days became a balance of rehab sessions, therapy, and spending time with her teammates. She started journaling, pouring her thoughts and feelings onto paper. She even picked up a new hobby—painting—which helped her quiet her restless mind.

Mapi and Ingrid noticed the change almost immediately.

“She’s getting better,” Ingrid remarked one evening as she and Mapi watched Alexia paint in the living room.

“Yeah,” Mapi agreed. “But she still misses her.”

They weren’t wrong. Even as Alexia started to find her footing again, there was a part of her that still ached for you. She often wondered what you were doing, whether you were as okay as you seemed during that last conversation.

There were nights when she wanted to call you, to tell you about her progress and promise that things could be different. But she held back. She knew you needed time, and so did she.

---

While Alexia was rebuilding herself, you were rediscovering who you were.

Your new apartment became a haven, a space that was entirely yours. The freedom to decorate it however you wanted, to come and go as you pleased, felt liberating. You spent your weekends exploring the park nearby, taking long walks by the lake and watching the world go by.

Work became your escape, and your dedication didn’t go unnoticed. The promotion you’d been working toward for years finally became a reality, and it felt like validation for all your hard work.

But it wasn’t just your career that flourished. You started reconnecting with friends, saying yes to dinner invites and weekend trips. On a whim, you adopted a small Maltese puppy named Mylo, who quickly became your constant companion.

For the first time in a long time, you felt like yourself again.

---

One evening, you were scrolling through TikTok when a familiar face appeared on your screen. It was Alexia, walking onto the pitch, the caption reading: La Reina is back.

Your heart skipped a beat.

Without thinking, you opened Instagram and went straight to Alexia’s account. There it was—a photo of her being subbed on, her face glowing with a smile that looked real, not forced.

You couldn’t stop yourself from double-tapping the photo and leaving a comment: Proud of you.

It was a simple gesture, but you meant it with all your heart. No matter how things had ended between you, you couldn’t deny how much you admired her strength and determination.

---

On the other side of the city, Alexia sat in bed scrolling through her phone. Normally, she didn’t read the comments under her posts, but something compelled her to that night.

And then she saw it.

Proud of you.

Her breath hitched, her fingers hovering over the screen. It wasn’t much, but it meant everything. After all the mistakes she’d made, after all the pain she’d caused, you were still proud of her.

She set her phone down and lay back, a small smile spreading across her face. For the first time in months, she felt a glimmer of hope.

If she kept working on herself, if she continued to heal, maybe—just maybe—there was still a chance for the two of you.

But for now, she would focus on the present, knowing that if it was meant to be, your paths would cross again.

---

And so, while you curled up on your couch with Mylo by your side, and Alexia drifted off to sleep with a rare sense of peace, the future remained unwritten. Both of you were healing, slowly but surely, and perhaps that was the most important step of all.

[flickering-nightfall]

How long do you think they would last if a pink lizard walked in here? 10 seconds? 20, maybe,

[fandomfairyuniverse]

I’m glad methas found an effective pain medication to help him get through physical therapy aka insane sexual tension with the physical therapist

[shima-draws]

My doctor: Hey yeah that's not normal I don't think it's an issue with your hip

Me: Oh?

My doctor: It's an issue with your spine

Me: OH

[onlyasimp4nobody]

[feathers-little-nest]

my curse is wanting to do so many things after finishing the thing I'm doing right now, while procrastinating. like I'd love to read next danmei I have on my tbr, but I haven't read dvawtk in a couple of weeks. I'd love to start the Fangs of Fortune but I haven't watched the Longest Day in Chang'an for a while. I'd love to learn Vietnamese, Thai, Burmese, but I completely fucked up the last Chinese exam. and yeah, I know I could go for doing multiple of these things at once but it's a slippery slope for me and I just end up with 8348294882 things in doing right now category, which makes working on any of them even harder. such is life with executive dysfunction, no motivation and multiple chaos disorders™ which make planning impossible

[novadreii]

Every day, I meditate on my anger and bitterness. I reflect on my seemingly bottomless need to ruminate on all the people who have abused and traumatized me starting from a young age. The unfairness of it all. The senselessness. I grieve for myself as a little girl who desperately wanted to be love and be loved, and whose desperation was like blood in water to sharks.

I send quiet internal prayers out to the universe and ask it to lessen my anger, because I truly don't think I need it anymore. I'm safe from harmful people for arguably the first time in my entire life. I have friends and family whom I love. I have cultivated a sense of self-love so all-encompassing that no other person will likely ever be able to rival it. I am safe. I'm okay. I'm happy. I don't need my anger anymore.

I reflect on how to this day my mother, who I had to cut off for my own sanity, is a bitter, miserable woman now in her 60s. How eerily my personality and potential echo hers. Her and I both were deeply wounded over and over, starting at young ages by our mothers. We both jump to rage when we are hurt, we both ruminate endlessly about those who hurt us, replaying the painful mental movies over and over again, hurting ourselves long after the harmful people have gone.

I see her in me, and I see what I have the potential to become if I don't release my resentment. It's hard to let go of something that has kept you safe in the past. My anger has time and time again scared off abusers, once they realize it makes me too unstable, unpredictable, and therefore difficult to control.

But I don't need it right now. It's best to internally send well wishes to all who have hurt me, because it takes someone equally hurt and dysfunctional to mistreat others. The only way I don't end up as one of them, to not end up a carbon copy of my mother, is to let the resentment go.

I've undertaken several self/life improvement projects that will hopefully bear fruit in early 2025. Not jinxing anything by talking about it yet, but I'm excited. I'm ready to look towards the future and leave my past where it belongs, and I do this with love and acceptance.

[what-even-is-sleep]

Craziest advertising flaw I’ve seen in my life is: it’s impossible to look up “spider catcher” or even “spider catcher for arachnophobes” without EVERY. SINGLE. PRODUCT. having a blown up picture of a spider in it.

[blackbackedjackal]

I'm usually a very quiet viewer of your blog but I'm so sorry to hear about Lobo :( I've always loved hearing about him from you and he seems like the sweetest boy in the whole world, I'm sending my best wishes that the time he has left is wonderful for the both of you, and that his passing will be gentle.

I originally followed you for taxidermy and I've gotten so much more than that from your blog, beautiful visual art, and little tidbits of other things you love, and most relevant here a glimpse into your life with a wonderful dog, I truly wish I could send more than well wishes and condolences in this hard time, but regretfully this is all I can send.

;-; 💖

[ctommy]

my brother started watching house around the time i started having worsening leg pain and now whenever my pain is bad im like fuuuuuck im just like house … wilson i need vicodin….

[elfsyellowflowerzart]

very busy babysitting a duo of kittens (only two months old) the last few days but i shall be drawing when i return home (this includes requests)

and also if anyone wants to see the babies send an ask and i can post them in response hehe i have taken SO many photos

[phagodyke]

was gonna say smth else but this turned into a vent sorry everyone just ignore. typical weekend post on this blog u know how it is here we go👍

[lovsome]

i need to get through the next 5 days !!!! then i will be okay !!! (no i wont)

[yuukei-yikes]

haruka watches takane eat like a dog begging because he knows she will leave at least half its food. sorry i wrote a longer post in the tags.

[shima-draws]

I just gotta make it til tomorrow. I just gotta,, make it til. Til tomorrow. Tomorrow…

[scarletcomet]

I really need to get better and not want to hurt myself