#and how many of my friends are still playing right into it

[street-smarts00]

Santa Doesn't Know You Like I Do

Spencer Reid x Reader

Summary: Your first Christmas with Spencer and you get his name for secret Santa. 

WC: 1.8k

Tags: Fluff, Secret Santa, friends to lovers, one use of Y/N I think A/N: Sorry I went MIA :( I got busy with school. I hope to push out many ideas while I’m on break tho. Here’s something cheesy and festive for the holiday season I hope you enjoy! (not beta read don't kill me)

Nothing was right. Nothing you found was the right present. 

This was your first secret Santa with the BAU and you picked Spencer's name out of penelope’s mug. At first you thought it would be easy to buy a present for him because you knew him so well. In almost a year of being with the BAU you grew the closest with Spencer. 

What you didn’t expect was your present ideas to not live up to your own expectations. Nothing you came up with could live up to your own standards. Of course your “slight” feelings for him definitely affected this, but you tried to tell yourself that wasn’t true. 

You ran through dozens of ideas. Clothing, a new scarf, tickets for a play, special edition of a book he loved. But nothing felt like the right present. 

You almost gave up in your search for the perfect present for him. The gift exchange was in less than a week and you still had nothing. Sitting at your desk in the bullpen you considered settling with one of your first ideas. 

While getting up to refill your coffee mug you noticed Spencer’s attention was focused on his computer. He sat there deep in thought with his brows furrowed and lips in a fine line. When you walked by his desk you saw he was playing an online chess game. 

“Working hard or hardly working?” you joked. 

He popped out of his focus from your presence. “I finished my files a little early,” he responded bashfully. 

“Are you at least winning?” 

He smirked, “I’ve won four times. But that’s not even the fun part. The fun is doing different plays every time and seeing what the computer comes up with as the best response.” 

That’s when it hit you. An idea for Spencer’s gift. 

Finally something that felt like a good gift for him. At the end of the day you rushed out of work to go to the craft store and get your supplies. You worked on the gift everyday after work. 

Soon the weekend rolled around and you found yourself at Rossi’s. His living room had the biggest Christmas tree you’d ever seen. Everyone’s gifts sat there for the evening. After dinner you all sat down to exchange gifts. 

“I want to go first!” Garcia exclaimed. She jumped up from the couch and hurried to the tree to grab her gift for JJ. 

JJ excitedly opened the gift bag to find a small black and grey purse with a colorful crochet keychain. The idea that Garcia also handmade part of her gift gave you a sense of relief. 

“Oh this is so pretty. Thank you so much,” she beamed, admiring the bag and twirling the keychain. Garcia squealed in happiness before JJ offered a hug to her. 

JJ then handed over her gift to Rossi, a bottle of scotch. He smiled and thanked her for the bottle saying how his collection needed a new addition. 

He stood up and brought his hands together looking at the tree. “My turn.” He grabbed a thin box wrapped in silver sparkly wrapping paper and walked over to you. 

“For you, my dear,” he handed you the box. 

Your eyes widened and lips perked up at the gift. It may be a little silly but, part of you wished that you were Spencer’s secret santa. You reminded yourself that the possibility of you both picking each other's names was unlikely. The possibility of some things being the same between the two of you was … unlikely. 

You ripped back the paper to reveal a large eyeshadow pallet. Upon opening it, you saw an array of beautiful shades you couldn’t wait to try out. 

“Rossi, this is so sweet. I love it,” You thanked with a bright smile. 

Now it was your turn. Everyone’s eyes only made the moment more stressful. You got up and grabbed the box with a nervous hand. What if he didn’t like it? What if he thought it was too cheesy or corny? What if he thought it was useless as he already owned two of them?

You tried to quiet your thoughts as you handed him the box, but they had no intention of leaving.

“Merry Christmas Spence,” you said softly.

When you turned and walked back to your seat you neglected to see the rising blush on his face. 

Spencer glanced down at the white and red striped paper. He carefully peeled it off and opened the lid to reveal a chess set nestled in between red tissue paper. The board spaces were off-white and royal purple with corresponding chess pieces the same colors. When he picked up the wooden pieces and saw small leaves and flowers painted on them. The King and Queen specifically had crowns in a shimmering gold. 

“Wow look at that,” Emily admired.

Upon further inspection he noticed the small human imperfections in the details. The way not one leaf or flower looked exactly the same. Or how the clear coating over the paint was slightly streaky in some spots. 

“Did you paint this?” He asked.

You nodded your head and answered , “Yeah I did.” 

A faint “awe” could be heard across the room from Garcia. 

“Y/N,” Spencer started, his voice full of admiration. “This is … beautiful.” 

The butterflies in your stomach were getting restless. 

“Really?” you asked, not able to hide the smile spreading on your face. 

“Yes! It’s Perfect,” his eyes sparkled at you. “I love it. Nobody’s ever given me something like this.” He beamed at you with a smile that made you love sick. 

The realization that you both were not alone set in and Spencer cleared his throat before closing the box. The gift exchange continued as Spencer handed over a present to Morgan. 

The rest of the night was filled with catching glances and far away looks between you and Spencer. He seemed to feel more relaxed in a way after receiving your gift. Not that he was acting any differently. He just seemed more open. With the group and with you. 

You lived off that feeling the whole evening. The idea that you made him happy. You helped him see he was appreciated and loved. 

Not that he had to know you loved him. 

He didn’t know that. Right? 

As the hands on the clock passed you announced your departure and said your goodbyes. You stepped outside and felt a chill against your skin. 

You held tight onto your keys as you walked to your car. The snow had just started to fall. Occasional little flurries fell down from the sky. 

“Wait!” Someone yelled from behind. 

You turned to find Spencer trying his best to run but not slip on the icy parts of the driveway. When he got closer you noticed his cheeks and the tip of his nose were pink. Probably from the cold weather you thought.

“I wanted to formally say thank you for the chess set,” he explained. 

“You’re welcome,” you replied with a smile. You stuffed your hands in your pockets away from the cold. “I’m glad you like it. I was worried you’d find it cheesy.” 

He looked confused. “Why would I find it cheesy?” 

You shrugged, “because I hand painted it.”

“But that’s what makes it perfect,” he reassured. His voice is sincere and soft. “It’s personal and shows you care.”

His eyes widened. “Oh um-“ 

He suddenly remembered why he rushed outside and scrambled for something in his jacket pocket. It was a small cube shaped box wrapped in paper covered in snowflakes. Quite fitting for the weather.

“I know I technically wasn’t your secret Santa but I still wanted to get you something.”

You took the gift from him with a slack jaw. “Spence-“

“This isn’t because you were my secret Santa. I still wanted to get you a gift regardless,” he reassured. 

“I- Thank you,” you started unwrapping the gift. 

“It’s not homemade like yours but I hope you still like it.”

”It doesn’t have to be homemade for me to-“ the wind was stolen out of your lungs.  

The gift was a small gold and white music box you immediately recognized. You opened the lid to reveal a ballerina in a pink tutu spinning as Sleeping Beauty Waltz played. Your heart ached as you admired the tiny dancer.

”Is this the music box from that antique shop in Seattle?” 

While on a case in Seattle, you and Spencer went to an antique shop to ask the owner about evidence found at the crime scene that was purchased there. You fell in love with a beautiful music box in one of the aisles. 

“It is. I saw how you looked at it in the store and in the car you said it reminded you of when you used to do ballet. So before we left Seattle I went back to the store to get it for you. I thought it would make a great Christmas present.”

“But, that was three months ago.”

He sheepishly smiled and his cheeks only got more red. “Yeah, I had to keep it a secret for a while.”

Your heart rate started to pick up as the butterflies returned. “I can't believe you went back and bought this for me,” you muttered in disbelief. 

“Of course I would. You mean a lot to me and I knew this was something that would make you happy.” 

You admired the music box before carefully placing it in your purse. “Thank you so much. I love it.” 

His smile grew and reached his eyes. His eyes looked beautiful in this lighting. The Christmas lights from the house made them look practically golden. Even in the freezing cold you could melt from his eyes.

He shifted his weight and licked his lips. He seemed wrapped around the words in his head. “I also wanted to ask if maybe you’d want to go see The Nutcracker with me.” 

Your heart damn near stopped. 

“It’s playing at the theater downtown. I was thinking if we don’t get a case then we could go see the show on Friday. Maybe, if you want to, that is,” he rambled in nervousness. 

“I’d love to,” you beamed. 

His face brightened at your eagerness, but his nerves were still present. “But not as friends. As a date?” 

You chuckled, “Yes Spencer, I would love to go on a date with you. I think the nutcracker is a perfect first date.”

“Great,” he said with relief. “And maybe afterwards we might have time for a game of chess with my new board.” 

God he was cute. 

“That sounds great.”

[moki-dokie]

literally ask any group of male friends their experience with butt stuff (which will likely need to be referred to as prostate play if it's american men; the masculinity is too fragile here.) then sit back and listen to some of the most vile and awful stories of assault and quite literal cut and dry definitions of rape you have ever heard in your life. and most of them will just shrug it off.

most recently my bestie did this amongst her friend group and while there were a couple of amusing stories that you'd expect from clueless straight men attempting prostate play, one was very very blatantly assaulted by another man that he just passed off as them both being drunk and stupid, but then one guy. jesus christ one guy proceeded to tell them all how his wife quite literally sodomized him so badly he wound up in the hospital and, understandably, still has some anal/rectal issues. horrible enough that every other man present was horrified, while he was completely neutral about it, literally shrugged and was like "eh. it's whatever. what can you do when you've got kids involved right?" literally stays with a woman who could have very nearly killed him, caused him permanent physical damage, and trauma i can only imagine is being repressed in ways i cannot even fathom because he knows a) it wouldn't be taken seriously if he went to court, b) would very likely cause her to get violent again c) would not ever want his kids to know d) doesn't want to risk her getting sole custody in a divorce since the law almost always favors the mother and e) doesn't have the kind of money to hire the kind of lawyers that are actually worth a damn anyway.

ask a group of guys who have ever been in a frat to tell you about their hazing.

ask any random collection of men if they ever had sexual encounters with older women when they were still teens and younger.

my ex nearly went to prison when he was physically attacked by two women and had to punch one just to get away. The judge just wouldn't believe a man could let two small women overpower him, even tho at the time he was a scrawny dude and not all that tall either. even tho he had the bite marks and scratches and bruises to prove it. thankfully he had an actually good lawyer.

i mean there's just... so much. and this is perhaps the one and only area of western society that disproportionately hurts men but only sort of helps women. i'd bet good money on it that men experience very similar if not the same rates of abuse and assault as women, but it will never ever be reported on correctly, it will never make headlines in the same way or at all, and good luck getting them to talk about it at all in many cases - but doubly so if they're over 40.

Sometimes I do wonder if men actually get sexually assaulted and abused at a similar rate that women do but a lot of them just don’t know that’s what’s happening to them

[thewertsearch]

fedorafreak: preparing for expedition to reap gems from mischievous local fauna. fedorafreak: crafted sturdy bludgeoning instrument out of uprooted mailbox.

Interesting that the Underlings are still 'mischievous', even though they (presumably) haven’t been prototyped with a clown this time around.

Clearly, they’re naturally inclined to be pranksters, regardless of their prototypings.

fedorafreak: turning on hand-held device for brief report. fedorafreak: severe injury sustained in skirmish with undersized, sportive rascal.

Yeah, this guy’s not a fighter. Fedorafreak is an archetypical example of what would happen if an average person played Sburb, as opposed to a protagonist. Without all the assistance our heroes have received, you’d likely fall victim to one of Sburb’s many, many creative ways to kill you - from imps, to renegade Agents, to planets covered in oil.

Rose’s walkthrough really would be a godsend for any Player lucky enough to find it. Nanna, could you maybe text its IP address to my new favourite character?

fedorafreak: encountered rest surface. fedorafreak: horizontal stone slab exhibiting unidentified iconography. fedorafreak: a tall post at each corner. fedorafreak: mysteriously inviting. fedorafreak: mounting slab. exhaustion taking hold

Damn, he’s found his Quest Bed? Now that’s a lucky break for him. I’d speculate about his Title, but we have basically nothing to go on.

Plus, for all we know, Titles are only granted to Veil-cloned, ‘official’ Sburb Players, and we have no idea if the Freak came down on a meteor. I’d guess he did, because it would be a very Sburbian move to make sure that only meteor babies were predestined to play the game.

...actually, that almost certainly is how Sburb would set it up. In that case, a non-Player booting up a Sburb session would probably just doom the timeline, and the Freak really is a Veil baby. Hell yeah.

pipefan413: Excuse me, sir! fedorafreak: @ pipefan413, friend. fedorafreak: @ pipefan413, sound of voice nearly refreshing enough to distract from perpetual taste of warm, poorly filtered urine.

Imagine being FedoraFreak right now. He was about to die completely alone – and, just when things were at their most bleak, a fellow colleague appears completely out of the blue, here to keep him company in his final moments.

Maybe we can guess his Aspect, and it's Hope.

[neithoftheveil]

Neith’s TGCF Fic Recs:

I’ve never made a rec list before, but for Christmas, I wanted to share some (not all—by god, we’d be here forever) of the fics saved to my kindle, some of my bookmarks, and some of my friends’ works (with overlap between those categories).

In no particular order:

tell you every day by scrapimmortal

Adorable amnesia Wulian oneshot that makes me smile.

melt (i’d tell them; put me back in it) by scrapimmortal

If I had a dollar for every time I’ve read this, I would have many dollars; perfection.

The flap of a butterfly’s wing by Ameji

Really enjoyed the political and personal drama in this one. A fun, exciting read that got me thinking about how to approach my own fics.

Pig in the Garden by illuminatingsceadugunga

I love FengQing’s heads exploding over hualian being married pre-third ascension; it’s delightful—very fun fic!

The Supplicant by ardenrabbit

The anticipation in chapter 1 was literally killing me; so excited to see more!

Land of the Callous by starvingwritist

A very fun, well-constructed truth serum Xianle quartet fic; Hualian are perfect for each other, truly. Couldn’t wait to see what would go wrong (and right)!

Heaven is Overwhelming by crispytaco

I love selective mutism fics; this one is very sweet! Comfort read.

there’s no rush by miska_za

Very sweet marathon sex; another comfort read.

quiet like stains by haysel

This soulmate AU has permanently altered my brain. It’s my favorite modern AU.

and the rain won’t make any difference by haysel

The atmosphere and the emotion? Out of this world. Love at first sight that takes your breath away. So sweet.

Your Courage, Your Despair by boomchick

I think about this fic at least once a week. Hualian hurt/comfort is my favorite thing.

‘Til our compass stands still by edenwolfie

Cannot watch the s2 opening of the donghua without getting nostalgia for this fic. Love the OCs. Love the characterization of XL. I would live in this fic if I could.

The Road I Walked Alone by aewea

Gives me literal chills every time (love it). What would happen if the play at the Mid-Autumn Banquet was actually the 100 swords scene.

We Stan Scrap Gege! by paidsubscription

Couldn’t stop laughing and smiling. Love this author’s AUs. Always so well thought out. And the “ghost citizens” are amazingly written!

The southern guide to a happy marriage by illuminate

The way this author writes Mu Qing makes me feral. FengQing get married before Xie Lian ascends a third time. It’s horny. It’s fun.

I can feel your halo by illuminate

Probably my favorite fengqing fanfic; I’ve read it a dozen times! Mu Qing’s spiritual powers are stolen, and he takes full advantage of them being gone to fulfill some long-buried desires.

common love isn’t for us by nobirdstofly

A really fun, dynamic piece that plays with FengQing’s deputy disguises. Hot too!

I Want to Ki** You by tyelperintal

I love every interaction Xie Lian and Mu Qing have in this piece, especially when XL gives way too many details about his sex life in order to help MQ navigate his desire for FX.

Wu Ming Loving Hours by featherpoet

A cute and inventive what-if. A canon divergence from Wuming’s death.

When I Was Older by corduroyserpent

An emotional time travel fic I love. Read it twice. Plan to reread soon!

Nameless Longing by corduroyserpent

A follow-up to the above fic; the “good boy” lives rent free in my brain. A roleplay Wulian fic with a twist ending.

Against All Odds by yuushoku

A really sweet royalty AU where Hua Cheng has to pass three trials to wed Xie Lian. Comfort read.

bring a light by uraa

A cute wangxian/hualian crossover!

charcoal daydreams by beesinspades

One of the first fics I read for this fandom! The first tgcf fic I ever downloaded! Artist HC runs into his old crush when XL applies to be his model.

steady love (in a place we know) by beesinspades

Hurts my heart but in a good way; it’s like missing someone who’s right in front of you. Hualian go on a road trip.

Is he, you know, a follower of Ju Yang? by airawyn

Very cute! Love the fengqing dynamic and banter!

Your Touch Means Everything to Me by fayleen

Love the tension in this one! A canon-divergent first kiss after the Banyue arc.

The State of You by peppaspray

Hot and sweet! Hua Cheng trying to seduce his husband in different forms.

to be seen by blessinglanterns

An interesting look at Hua Cheng coming back from being dispersed on Tonglu. Very sweet.

If you love me for me by fullmetalpotterhead

A really adorable royalty AU where Hua Cheng needs to marry Xie Lian for political reasons but quickly falls in love with him after he disguises himself in order to meet XL before their wedding.

[georgeweasleyslostearhq]

MISTLETOE TRAP

Prompt 3: mistletoe

Pairings: Eddie Munson x Fem!reader Summary: after spending so long watching you and Eddie hopelessy flirt with eachother, the club comes up with a plan fit for the festive season to bring you guys together. Warnings: mention of kissing, brief mention of Eddie being in the hospital. one mention of Y/n, I APOLOGISE

🦌𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ་༘࿐⋆꙳❆⋆.ೃ࿔*:･°°‧❆⋆.ೃ𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶ

🦌𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ་༘࿐⋆꙳❆⋆.ೃ࿔*:･°°‧❆⋆.ೃ𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶ

Christmas music played softly in the background as the club played a festive board game, yelling and screaming over each other filled the room as everyone pointed fingers to who's cheating.

the smell of pizza filled your noses as the fire crackled of Gareth's livingroom.

the lights of the tree twinkling in your eyes as you sat on the couch next to Eddie, everyone else choosing to sit on the dirty carpet. pillows under all their buts to soften the hard wooden floor.

it was perfect, everyone having fun, laughing- more or less when everybody isn't fighting, but despite that, it was perfect.

the club did this every year, but it's the first time Mike, Lucas and Dustin have attended.

and while this was their first time hanging out for Christmas games, this was not their first rodeo when seeing a certain pair of flirty best friends that are way to close to be just friends.

"my hands are a bit cold, mind warming them up for me?" Eddie had smiled, earning many silent groans from the room, from everyone except you, who had blushed and shook your head sheepishly

"I have a feeling you just want an excuse to hold my hand, Eds" you teased

"you caught me. so what do you say?" you nudged you, holding out his hand.

you've always been the flirty type of duo, you and Eddie. you don't know when it happened, it started with little remarks in certain situations that he deemed fit, then you slowly began retaliating, giving small comments back that left poor Eddie flushed in surprise. but the certain situations turned into a weekly thing, then soon every time you'd see each other.

"I say my hands are quite cold too" you rolled your eyes, slapping your hand in his and interlocking fingers

you barely noticed the glared and groans from anyone in the room until they all got up and left, saying they are going to the kitchen for seconds

where they all huddled up, sick of their dungeon master and his best friend acting like a bunch of idiots while flirting with each other.

"I'm sick of this, it's been going on too long" Jeff sighed

"I think it's cute" Dustin shrugged "Eddie deserves love too"

"Really? you think our dungeon master complaining his hands are too cold and that she needs to hold them is cute?" Lucas shook his head, questioning his friend's sanity,

because what you and Eddie have going on, is not cute.

"it's a bit cheesy-" Dustin started before Mike cut him off

"-it's gross!"

"Well, what do we do?" Gareth bit the inside of his cheek

then Dustin had an idea.

a brilliant idea

it was just involve talking to Steve.

🦌𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ་༘࿐⋆꙳❆⋆.ೃ࿔*:･°°‧❆⋆.ೃ𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶ

You walked into the Harrington home with Robin.

a little party with Steve's friends that you had been invited to, given that his parents went out of town.

you walked in, surprised to see the whole club sitting on the couch, including Eddie- which was less surprising

you knew Steve and Eddie were mutual friends, or friends, you're still not sure, you've never seen them directly talk after Eddie got permitted out of the hospital.

but the whole club here was definitely not something you would expect. but god you were happy

"we were waiting for you" The Munson boy cheered on your arrival

"don't cream your pants, we were just stuck in traffic" you rolled your eyes, pointing the robin behind you who threw her coat on the coat hanger, literally, letting it fall to the ground

"You do know how to put a coat on a hanger, right?" Steve huffed, picking her jacket up and hanging it on a hook while you settled on the couch, right next to open seat next to the one and only Eddie

the whole club had greeted you with unsettling smiles, Dustin rocking his legs as he sat cross legged on the floor.

their faces made you suspicious, they were always up to no good with those looks on their faces

"what's up with them?" you whispered to Eddie, who shrugged

he picked up a Garfield mug, steam floating up and reaching his nose as he brought it up to his lips. humming at the taste before pulling it away and back onto the coffee table

you giggled, looking away when he turned to you

"what? do I have something on my face?" he smirked, knowing the fluffy whipped cream adorned his top lip

you shook your head as he leaned in

"wanna help me out and get it off?" he raised his eyebrows, nudging your shoulder

it was a sight to barf at to everyone else I the room, but fighting against the sickening interaction, they knew this had to happen, this was all apart of the plan, well not this but this party.

that's actually a lie, Steve had invited everyone over for a little gathering, and by everyone he means his friends, but due to much begging to his favourite child, Steve had let Dustin bring the club too, why? the Harrington boy doesn't know, nor understand but whatever.

you huffed, reaching up and swiping the foam off of his lip, silently gasping when he connected his lips with your thumb, licking it off your finger.

the party's eyes were wide with disgust and shock before Dustin spoke up quickly

"Eddie why don't you get Y/n a cup of hot coco while we explain the rules of the game to her"

Eddie looked over to the freshmen and nodded, getting up

"marshmallows?" he asked before leaving, earning a happy nod from you

"only th-" you started before he cut you off, disappearing down the hall to the kitchen

"-the white ones!"

you blushed and smiled, watching as Steve placed The Christmas game down on the table, Mike eagerly opening it up

"so the rules of the game is-" Dustin began

"I know the rules of the game, Dusty, I've been playing this since before you knew how to walk" you chuckled, shifting on the couch

you leaned over and helped set up for the game, Nancy walking in from upstairs, had being in the bathroom when you had arrived. when you were busy putting the cards down on the board, Gareth had taken the bundle of mistletoe from his bag and tiptoed to the doorway of the hallway, connecting the Livingroom and kitchen, where he peeked over the corner to see Eddie lift up the mug and put marshmallows in.

he came and sat down without you realising he left before he spoke up

"hey...Eddie's been gone for a while, why don't you check on him?" he asked you, nodding his head in the direction to the kitchen

"oh.. uh sure" you frowned, getting up, it's not like Eddie couldn't handle making a cup of hot cocoa, but you walked to the kitchen anyway.

you walked through the open wall and yelped when you bumped into his hard frame, the cup of hot chocolate swished and spilled on his chest, earning a groan from him and a gasp from you

"oh shit, I'm so sorry" you blinked rapidly.

"it's fine, love, not your fault" he smiled tightly, sighing

you went to say something but you heard a few hushed laughs and Lucas coughing

you both looked back to notice their gazes focused above you

you look up and back down, confused before you did a double take and your eyes widened, Eddie looking up right after you, a sigh leaving his lips.

a bundle of green and red hanging above you, tied with a ribbon, a bow, mistletoe.

"oh" you said in unison

Eddie looked back down at you, watching as you stared up

he whispered "we don't have to- it's just a silly tradition"

that made you frown, did he not want to kiss you?

you know you were best friends but you had always hoped for more, not that you weren't happy, but he was just so...him, so perfect in your eyes.

"you have to kiss!" Robin smiled

-she wasn't in in the plan, no one but the party was, Steve knew but he wasn't listening when Dustin was rambling, all Steve remembered was him asking if the club could come, and Steve figured half of them were coming, may as well just give the kid what he wants to shut up.

you look down at Eddie to see his concerned face

or was it sad?

you couldn't make it out, but they held something of that sort

"may as well" you shrugged "you know we'll never hear the end of it from them if we don't"

he licked his lips

Eddie was sweating, everywhere. and not just from the fireplace they were right next to. but because he had thought over your first kiss so many times before.

it was be so perfect, so romantic, gentle but desperate. maybe looking over the town or during a drive in movie he'd take you to.

definitely not in Steve Harrington's Livingroom, and certainly not in front of all of yours and his friends.

he'd want it to be right. not a forced act, but an act of love.

because it's you

his best friend.

his lifelong crush

so to say Eddie Munson was sweating balls in this moment would be an understatement.

in the corner of his eyes he saw everyone looking at you both, expectedly

but his eyes were focused on yours. looking so deep into yours that he felt he was melting away

why was it so hot? apart from the scorching hot cocoa that drenched his band tee.

the way you looked at him, so soft, you were so beautiful, the coloured lights from the massive Harrington Christmas tree illuminating your face perfectly, you always looked beautiful in red.

"I don't want our first kiss to be in front of everyone" he mumbled to you finally. moth slightly agape, eyes wide in despair

you furrowed your brows when you looked over silently, watching as they all looked away

the room was dead quiet, the only noise was the crackle of the fire, so they must have heard Eddie.

so as they all looked out the window, watching the snow fall outside, tiny snowflakes dancing in the wind of the night, you looked back up at Eddie.

you silently parted your lips.

he looked back down at you.

he silently parted his lips.

he brought a hand up, slowly.

you brought a hand up, slowly.

his hand meeting the plush of your cheek.

your hand meeting the skin of his exposed hip.

then you leaned in, slowly.

so slow.

Eddie watched as your eyes fluttered shut as his nosed brushed against yours.

and his own soon shut as his lips met yours, grazing ever so gently before he took a sharp intake of breath before fully connecting them, pressing his lips firmly on yours.

Jesus, how they fit so perfectly, he thought to himself.

God, how they fit so perfectly, you thought to yourself.

your lips moved perfectly in sync, creating the kiss that Eddie had envisioned so many times before. it may have even been better.

his warm hand cupping your cheek, his fingertips rough but oh so gentle.

everyone in the room stayed looking outside awkwardly as they heard nothing, but Dustin, deciding to take a peek, was only able to catch a glimpse of the kiss ending, you both pulling away from each other, smiling softly as your eyes fluttered open

your eyes met again. your smile growing as you saw his blown out gaze, the colour of his eyes barely recognisable through his irises as he looked down at you

"I'll make you another hot chocolate" he said, blinking, in a haze of some sort

"I'll come with you" you replied, matching his tone as you grabbed his hand

everyone watched as you both disappeared down the hallway to the kitchen

"they're going to make out in my kitchen aren't they?" Steve spoke up after a minute, frowning

"leave the kids be, Steve, they've finally found out what horniness feels like" Robin joked, leaning against the back of the couch.

Steve's head whipped around in horror. so many thoughts in the poor head of his. are they gonna have sex in my kitchen?

"don't worry guys, this is just what the mistletoe trap does, it brings people together" Dustin said cluelessly

"that's what this was!?" Steve hissed at him, finally remembering something along the lines of 'bringing a young couple together' and 'mistletoe' that Dustin had said over the phone to him when he was just trying to focus on how to shut him up.

🦌𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ་༘࿐⋆꙳❆⋆.ೃ࿔*:･°°‧❆⋆.ೃ𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶ

bonus-

Steve storms into his kitchen, it's been too long since you both went in there and he wasn't ready for a baby to be made in that room.

all he sees is you, pressed against the counter with Eddie holding you, soft moans and sighs escaping your lips as your hands roamed each others body, your mouths locked together as you made out aggressively.

"DISGUSTING!" Steve yelled.

🦌𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ་༘࿐⋆꙳❆⋆.ೃ࿔*:･°°‧❆⋆.ೃ𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶ

[devildomwriter]

You Go To See A Christmas Carol Part I

Going to see a Christmas Carol in the Human World with Diavolo and the brothers takes a turn when the brothers forget what’s normal for them is not normal for everyone else.

You shuffled out from the middle seat of the packed car and hopped onto the icy pavement. You blew into your gloves to warm your face and looked around as the brothers climbed out of the cars around you.

Mammon: “So, this is the fancy theatre place, huh?”

Satan: “It’s a performing arts center.”

Mammon: “That’s the same damn thing!”

Lucifer: “Quiet! We’re late enough as it is! I won’t have you all bickering in the parking lot and wasting more time. You should be thankful Diavolo even invited you to this play to begin with.”

Leviathan: “What is this play about again?”

MC: “It’s called A Christmas Carol.”

Belphegor: “Ugh, we don’t have to listen to carolers do we?”

Beelzebub: “It’ll be okay Belphie.”

Belphegor: “No it won’t. Remember what satan did last time?”

Satan: “I was being slandered, those kids had it coming!”

Lucifer: “That’s enough! Let’s go! Start walking!”

MC: “Yes, father.”

Belphegor: “Pft!”

Lucifer: “What was that?”

MC: “I didn’t say anything.”

Lucifer: “That’s what I thought. Now does everyone have their human identities?”

Mammon: “Ugh, not this again.”

Lucifer: “This it’s important. Our names are well known up here, gathered all in one place like this it could scare someone.”

Belphegor: “That sounds like fun.”

Lucifer: “It won’t be when Michael hears about it. Now, tell me your names again.”

Mammon: “Matthew…boring ass name—“

Asmodeus: “Guuuuuys! I can see my breath! Look!”

Asmodeus: “Huuuuuuuh.”

Mammon: “Oh yeah! Neat!”

Lucifer: “Stop that. Honestly, you aren’t children.”

Lucifer ushered you to the growing lines as everyone excitedly waited to get through security and into the grand hall for the long-awaited performance.

Security Officer: “Lines that way.”

Lucifer: “Thank you.”

Satan: “We have tickets already.”

Security Officer: “Still that way.”

Satan: “Fine.”

MC: “Excuse me, we’re looking for a friend.”

Mammon: “Why would he know Diavolo, there’s like a million people here?”

MC: “He’s a real eccentric guy, red hair?”

Security Officer: “You mean that guy waving on the balcony?”

MC: “Yeah, that’s the one.”

Security Officer: “Been there about three hours now.”

Lucifer: “How many?”

Security Officer: “Staff was making a real big fuss about him too. You know him?”

MC: “Yeah, he kidnapped me a while back.”

Security Officer: “Excuse me?”

MC: “So the lines that way, yeah? Thanks.”

Security Officer: “Kidnapped?”

You chose not to answer him and ran to catch up with the brothers who’d quickly followed Lucifer lest they provoke his seasonally intense wrath.

Satan: “Lucifer you don’t need to call him you can see him from here just fine.”

Mammon: “I think he’s shoutin’ somethin’?”

Leviathan: “He’s saying…uh…”

Beelzebub: “I…can… see… my…. Breath.”

Lucifer: “…”

Lucifer: *sigh*

Asmodeus: “Isn’t it cool!!!”

Mammon: “Yikes! My ears Asmo!”

Lucifer: “That’s enough, where’d MC go?”

Leviathan: “Hey that officer guy looks kind of nervous now…he’s really staring at us?”

Lucifer: “He probably heard Mammon refer to Asmo by his name.”

Mammon: “You just referred to me by my name too!”

MC: “Hey guys, what’d I miss?”

Lucifer: “Nothing of significance.”

Beelzebub: “Lord Diavolo says he can see his breath.”

MC: “That’s adorable, I expect nothing less.”

Lucifer: “Please don’t encourage him MC.”

MC: “No promises.”

Lucifer: *sigh* “Does everyone have their tickets?”

Satan: “No.”

Lucifer: “What do you mean, no!?”

Satan: “You took them because you didn’t trust us to hold them!”

Lucifer: “Clearly I was right.”

Satan: “What?”

Lucifer: “Mammon this is yours. Your name is now Matthew Morningstar.”

Mammon: “I know, you made me go over it a million times. I don’t think anyone’s gonna even ask right?”

Lucifer: “They will in an interrogation.”

Asmodeus: “What? Are we being interrogated?”

Lucifer: “Hopefully not.”

MC: “The night’s still young.”

Lucifer: “Stop it, MC.”

Lucifer: “Levi, congratulations you get to keep your name.”

Leviathan: “Thank goodness.”

Lucifer: “Satan you’re going as Stanford Morningstar.”

Satan: “That’s a stupid last name.”

Lucifer: “Ignoring that, Belphegor your name is Todd.”

MC: “Why’d you choose Todd?”

Belphegor: “It means death in German.”

MC: “Yup, okay…”

Lucifer: “Beelzebub, you’re name is Benjamin, you can go by Ben if you want to— do not eat this ticket.”

Beelzebub: “…”

Lucifer: “Todd, you’re holding onto his ticket.”

Mammon: “Who the fuck is Todd?”

MC: “Belphegor, pay attention.”

Belphegor: “I am paying attention.”

MC: “I was talking to Matthew.”

Beelzebub: “Matthew?”

Lucifer: “Change of plan, we only call each other by our human names in front of other humans.”

MC: “I’m a human.”

Lucifer: “You don’t count.”

MC: “Shucks.”

Lucifer: *sigh* “Asmodeus you’re name is Amadeus, that’s an easy one, don’t forget it.”

Asmodeus: “Okie!”

Lucifer: “I’m going as Lucious, I believe that’s everyone.”

Asmodeus: “I’ll go first and show you all how it’s done!”

Leviathan: “Why do I have a bad feeling about this?”

Satan: “Because you should.”

Guard: “Ticket.”

Asmodeus: “Right here sweetie!”

Guard: “Amadeus?”

Asmodeus: “That’s right!”

Guard: “That’s a cool name. Seeing the Christmas Carol?”

Asmodeus: “I sure am!”

Guard: “Haven’t seen it in a bit, hope ya have fun. I’ll have to take my wife and kids when I get a chance, maybe next year. Alright, raise your arms for me.”

Asmodeus: “Oh no, did I mess up already?”

Guard: “Already?”

Leviathan: “Asmo, just T-Pose.”

Asmodeus: “Ew, why in the Devildom would I do that? That’s so not tending right now!”

Lucifer: “He has to use the metal detector, lift your arms.”

Asmodeus: “Ooooh, okay!”

Mammon: “Real master if I ever saw one…”

Asmodeus: “Shut up Mammon! I’d like to see you do better!”

Guard: “Any weapons on you, sir?”

Asmodeus: “Oooh, just in my pants!”

Guard: “I’ll need you to take it out for me.”

Asmodeus: “What? How bold! Right here in front of all these people?”

Guard: “…?”

Lucifer: “That’s it. I’m sorry sir, my brother was making a stupid dirty joke, none of us have any weapons. Lift your arms Asmo before I do it for you.”

Asmodeus: “That sounds like fun.”

Lucifer: “It won’t be once we’re home if you don’t hurry it up.”

Asmodeus: “Yikes! Okay, okay!”

Guard: “Okay…just gonna pat you down real quick….”

Asmodeus: “Pat me anywhere you want pal— ow! Lucifer that hurt!”

Lucifer: “Be. Quiet.”

Guard: “Lucifer…u-um…Amadeus, you’re all good.”

Lucifer: “Don’t you dare go anywhere, wait right there until Mam—Matthew goes through.”

Mammon: “Y’know on second thought why don’t I watch Satan first?”

Satan: “Ow! Don’t shove me what’s wrong with you?”

Lucifer: “Someone just go.”

Satan: “Very well”

Guard: “So…that’s you’re umm…brother?”

Satan: “Unfortunately.”

Guard: “Stanford Morningstar?”

Satan: “Stupid surname, I’m aware.”

Guard: “I think it’s quite unique actually, has a nice ring to it.”

Satan: “That’s your opinion.”

Guard: “Uh, lift your arms please…no weapons I presume?”

Satan: “None.”

Guard: “You’re all good, please proceed.”

Leviathan: “Mammon don’t push me what’s up with you!?”

Guard: “Are you next?”

Leviathan: “H-Hello, fellow human! Sir!”

Guard: “Haha! You guys are a pretty fun bunch aren’t ya?”

Leviathan: “We met at a convent.”

Guard: “What?”

Lucifer: “What?”

Leviathan: “I-I, um…it just came out.”

MC: “This is beautiful.”

Lucifer: “MC, you’re next. Please take them up to Lord Diavolo after this.”

Guard: “Alright, no weapons, you’re good.”

Leviathan: “Thank you, goodbye!”

Mammon: “…”

Guard: “So one big family trip today huh?”

MC: “No, I was kidnapped.”

Guard: “What?”

MC: “I forgave them though. Stockholm syndrome is a hell of a drug.”

Guard: “You guys really are pretty funny. You a comedy group or somethin’?”

MC: “We might as well be given my daily life.”

Guard: “Any weapons?”

MC: “Only spiritual.”

Guard: “Good on you. Me too. Catholic, what about you?”

MC: “I don’t even know at this point. I’m just here for Diavolo.”

Guard: “Well I hope you figure it out, have a good time.”

MC: “God willing.”

You looked at Lucifer as you said that and he glared at you while you gave Mammon, who was sweating bullets, a curious look. Something was definitely wrong with him.

Leviathan: “You think they’ll be okay in line without us?”

MC: “It’s just Beel, Belphie, and Mammon, it’ll be fine.”

Satan: “Okay. Let’s go up to see Lord Diavolo and brief him.”

MC: “Someone go buy some popcorn so Beel doesn’t have a breakdown in line.”

Asmodeus: “Leave it to me!”

MC: “No charming anyone, they’ll get fired.”

Asmodeus: “Ugh, fine.”

Mammon: “Hey uh…Belphie you mind going ahead.”

Belphegor: “What, why?”

Mammon: “I uh…may have forgotten somethin’…”

Belphegor: “…what did you do?”

Mammon: “Nothin’.”

Lucifer: “Mammon.”

Mammon: “I uh…forgot that weapons were kinda a big deal in the human world…maybe.”

Lucifer: “…”

Lucifer: “Beelzebub, Belphegor, don’t cause trouble, go right to MC they’re waiting at the door.”

Mammon: “Hey that’s my collar, hey! Where are ya takin’ me? Lucifer!”

Guard: “…”

Belphegor: “Just ignore them, it’s better not to question it.”

Guard: “Right…so umm, Todd, is it?”

Belphegor: “It means death in German.”

Guard: “Okay….arms up, please….You’re good….right along…”

Beelzebub: “Belphie, my ticket.”

Belphegor: “Oh yeah, here.”

Guard: “I’ll take that, thank you. Benjamin?”

Beelzebub: “What? No, it’s Beelzebub.”

Guard: “What?”

Beelzebub: “Who’s Benjamin?”

Guard: “This ticket is assigned to a Benjamin Morningstar.”

Beelzebub: “Oh yeah…that’s me.”

Guard: *mumbling to himself* “He’s the last one…you can do this…”

Beelzebub: “Is something wrong?”

Guard: “Arms up please…quick pat down…go ahead.”

Next

[transmechanicus]

look this is really probably unnecessary, but I've seen tons of posts about how everyone is mad about the page that's going to post unmasked pics of the st guys and how outrageously disrespectful it is to them and well... I gotta say that it's just not that deep.

it's been pointed out that they've only ever said that 'their identities aren't important to the music or the story'. and that's it in terms of the "extreme lengths" they go to hide their identities.

i'm a regular follower of the reddit page where their identities are openly discussed and there is a decent amount of evidence that one of them or someone from their team lurks there and plays around a little with that community. ie, a few of the recent "the summoning solo shenanigans" were suggested in that thread and then seen on stage the next show. but who knows.

some of the guys are actually still participating in other media to a small extent. one of them still streams with a friend on twitch often. one of them just put out some older official music project on Spotify. one of them gets his new tattoos posted unmasked on his tattoo artist's page.

look, I'm not saying that this person who plans to bring this stuff to Tumblr shouldn't be warned about and of course everyone should have the opportunity to block and avoid it to keep their experience of the band how they prefer. that's no question how it should be.

but like... everyone is saying that this person who's starting the unmasked blog is like, evil and so disrespectful to the band. and I think that's just not right. it's their right to start whatever kind of page they want. it's everyone else's right to avoid it.

like I said, this is not really going anywhere, and it's not personal, I just have seen so many people bashing that person on a personal level and I just gotta tell someone, it's not that deep. thank you for reading

To me it is that deep, from what i’ve heard there was a major panic on Instagram in 2023 bc freaks were using info on there to harass II and his family. Hell he still alters his voice in videos, which you only do if you’re concerned someone is dedicated enough to scrape the internet with audio of your vocal patterns. I’ve seen video footage of Vessel cussing out a guy at a festival for yelling real names in the audience. There is direct evidence that the band members dislike off-stage info being known and shared, and that a portion of Sleep Token’s fanbase cannot be trusted to respect the secrecy that allows the band members to live comfortable lives relatively peacefully and out of the public eye.

In my personal opinion, your examples of how they’re still on other social media, and that you know that info abt them are reinforcement of my dislike for unmasked data aggregates. Unless the tattoo artist’s posts or the twitch stream is tagged #SleepToken there is probably a reasonable expectation that they don’t want band related attention for those things. Even if somebody does recognize them as the band members, it would be a minority population if it weren’t for subreddits and archives directly connecting dots between those things and Sleep Token, which is presumably why you have that info yourself in the first place.

By aggregating and collecting unmasked info, a resource is being provided that essentially says “Hey i know these guys have almost entirely retreated from the internet for their own safety and comfort…but here’s their names and faces and loved ones and colleagues and past projects and every little activity they do in their spare time. All gathered together and directly tagged and marked in relation to the band they’ve purposefully tried to anonymize and distance their real lives from”.

It’s stalker behavior, it’s unhealthy, it could be genuinely dangerous for the members if the wrong person made use of it, and i reserve the right to passionately condemn it.

[maddy-k-reads-all-day]

Things I noticed in the Play My Way music video

Also Play My Way is canon! I will not be arguing about this with people who haven't bothered to check the several people who have not checked the SEVERAL places confirming this. That said, I will start thinking about how this connects to Amanda canon at some point and just theories in general.

is it just me or does it look like it says: "Am in Hell?" just without the i?

When Amanda first says "No" to it being Wooly's turn he immediately looks at us. Suspicious.

That said, he seems really concerned during the whole conversation.

I find it interesting since this song is part of the continuity of the official "hide and seek" pilot tapes... that implies that this probably takes place before the first two games right? I mean, Amanda and Wooly are still somewhat friends here. That said, it's interesting that Amanda allows Wooly to have his turn, in-game Amanda wouldn't do this without being forced, but she just agrees and says: "That's fair."

Also when Amanda agrees Wooly looks really happy/excited? Which is strange... because like instantly once their separated he starts freaking out? Like why is he so scared anyway? It's his turn at hide and seek! The turn he asked for! I honestly think this was what started my little theory that prior to their falling out, Wooly was a bit more clingy with Amanda. Like more in an anxiously-attached sort of way. Like the way a shy kid hides behind their more adventurous friend.

I realized there are only so many images allowed in a tumblr post... so I'm going to make each segment a separate post alright?

Here are some non-image related things I noticed:

When Amanda says "never ends" the backdrop around her glitches.

I think the line "make believe that we have a choice what you play with me" kind of implies that Amanda doesn't have much free will over the games they play in these episodes.

The whole "it's my turn now" sequence is super interesting. Because like Wooly isn't really upset at first, but he actually gets angry about this. He seems to get scared when Amanda yells but doesn't seem to be afraid of her specifically.

Finally, in the ending scene (I've talked about the other scenes in other posts go check them out 😄)

Is it just me or does Wooly suddenly look... really unsettled about this question? And Amanda looks really... sarcastic? Annoyed? Did someone ruin her fun? Did she think she found some freedom only to realize she's still just as trapped as before?

Then Wooly makes THIS face. What are you hiding Wooly I'm onto you!

Also, Amanda looks really happy when she says "It is" it's us... I wonder who she's seeing. Like... us literally or? Kate? Or Riley? Hmm... I'm inclined to think since this takes place in the library before the first game (that's my theory anyway) that she realizes this is Kate. Like... she recognizes Kate. And Wooly kind of awkwardly backs away when she does so hmm...

Also this frame with Amanda looking tired and sad as she holds the hands off all the other kids trapped in the tapes (that's my interpretation anyway). OMG PRECIOUS SWEETHEART I AM SO SORRY I EVER DOUBTED YOU!

These poor kids man... I hope they get some sort of happy ending. Like... at least release them even if they are dead. Like their souls find peace PLEASE.

Also Wooly with Wooly's actual VA showing up late like: I'm ready for the music video! Was hilarious and cute.

Anyway I'm gonna go. I'll probably talk more about this later. Let's discuss!

[emsprovisions]

❄️ Day 21 - You Can Call Me Babe for the Weekend ❄️

🎁 Today's fic is dedicated to @ironheartwriter! It’s Lana's birthday!!! Go and shower her in birthday wishes and love!

Summary: Carlos agrees to be TK's date to Enzo's family Christmas gathering in New York.

Word count: 1122

24 Days of Tarlos Masterpost

“Uchh,” TK groans, slumping into an empty chair beside Nancy with a bowl of Paul’s chili.

”What’s wrong with you?” She asks, eyeballing her best friend with apprehension.

”I need a date for this Christmas dinner thing my stepdad is hosting,” TK explains.

”Why do you need a date?” Marjan quirks a brow from where she’s seated across the table.

”Because,” TK starts, already beginning to wave his sass hand in the air. “My family will pester me about why I’m still single after Alex dumped me over a year ago. Or they’ll keep bringing him up and rehashing exactly what I did wrong to make my boyfriend be unfaithful to me. It’ll be a whole thing and I’d really rather avoid it. It’s just, how the hell can I find a date less than a week before I need one? And he has to be willing to go to New York with me and my mom.”

”I’ll go with you.”

All eyes around the table snap forward to the cop sitting at the end beside Paul.

Carlos is staring at TK with genuine interest in solving his problem and TK is practically melting inside at the thought of Carlos being his fake date to his dysfunctional family Christmas. He and Carlos have become close friends in the year that TK’s moved to Austin. In fact, he’s the one who invited the patrol officer over for lunch on his shift because he knows Carlos loves Paul’s chili. 

TK also has an embarrassingly huge crush on Carlos, one he knows Nancy is aware of, and she is making eyeballs at him right now and jabbing his calf with her foot to accept Carlos’s offer.

”Oh, that’s so sweet, Carlos, but you don’t have to,” TK shakes his head.

”I’d like to,” Carlos offers TK a small smile. His big, brown eyes get all soft, and TK is nothing but putty in this man’s hands because how could he refuse cow eyes?

He can’t. Which is how he has found himself days later wedged between his mother, bouncing a baby Jonah on her knee, and Carlos, on a plane bound for New York. 

His mom is in on the ruse, Gwyn also aware that her son has feelings for the officer, and she has agreed to play along for the sake of this weekend going smoothly.

Carlos is accepted into the de la Costa family like he’s their own son. He flirts with Tía Carmen, complimenting her and winking like they have years of inside jokes between them. He’s great with the small gaggle of children that are somehow related to Enzo. He even charms Enzo himself, who more often than not never seemed too impressed with the guys TK introduced him to.

It’s at the big family dinner though that Carlos is really put to the test as TK’s boyfriend. They had predetermined many details of their forged relationship, especially after Nancy intervened and brought up her extensive movie and book knowledge on the very subject of fake dating. But of course, the one aspect they somehow hadn’t considered to figure out is asked.

”So, Carlos, how did you and TK meet?” Enzo’s sister asks, as she passes Carlos a bowl of salad.

Carlos grins, looking over at TK beside him before back at Catalina. 

“We were on a call, actually,” Carlos begins. “It was raining, and I’d heard the 126 had a new fire captain, but I hadn’t met him or his son yet. We had to save this baby stuck in a tree and the moment TK laid eyes on me, I Was completely done for. All I could see were these bright green eyes, shining in the headlights. TK probably doesn’t remember this, but he stood beside me and grabbed my shoulder while his dad climbed the ladder himself to save the baby.”

Carlos is wrong. TK does remember all that. What surprises him most though is that Carlos also remembers it.

”I saw him again later that night after work at this honky tonk in Austin and I asked him to dance,” Carlos continues, looking back towards TK and reaching for his hand with a smile. “It was the best decision of my life.”

TK also remembers the line dancing at the bar. He stepped on Carlos’s feet and they laughed and he swore he’d never met anyone more beautiful. But TK was a wrecking ball back then. A hot mess fresh off a relapse and a breakup and he had no business getting involved with anyone else so soon, sexual or otherwise. He still felt too raw, too on edge, and even before he knew Carlos’s name, he knew Carlos deserved better than that. So they became friends. And now TK’s wondering if maybe he ruined their chance to ever be more all the way back then, on that first night they’d met. 

Only Carlos is looking at him like he hung the moon and practically everyone around the table is swooning over Carlos’s story. 

“God, that’s romantic. Dammit, Javier, why can’t you be more like Carlos!” Catalina turns to her own husband to swat at his arm, and the table dissolves into laughter and chatter, and TK can’t stop staring at Carlos.

He catches Carlos’s eye, and Carlos just smiles softly back at him. 

“Aren’t you two the cutest lovebirds,” Abuelita just melts from across the table as she catches them staring at each other. “Reminds me of me and my husband when we were young.”

TK just laughs and squeezes Carlos’s hand. “Hear that, babe? Sounds like Abuelita’s already planning our wedding.”

“I’m just saying,” Abuelita laughs. “I know that look when I see it.”

Later, when they’re alone for the night and trying to solve the issue of only one bed, TK just sinks onto the edge of the mattress, his head still spinning from earlier. “I didn’t know you remembered when we met that well.”

Carlos freezes where he’d been gathering pillows to make a makeshift divider on the bed. “I remember everything about you, TK.”

“What does that mean?” TK furrows his brows at his fake boyfriend. 

“It means I meant every word,” Carlos explains slowly with a small, hopeful smile. “You’re the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen, TK, and I know you weren’t ready for anything back then, but I’ve waited, hoping that one day, you might be.”

TK’s brows shoot to his forehead as he stares at Carlos. 

That night, the pillow divider is abandoned as their clothes end up on the floor, and TK does what he should’ve done all those months ago, and Carlos is even happier to become TK’s real boyfriend than to be his fake one.

[solarhysm]

DUST OF US #DRABBLE - JUNGKOOK AND YOU TALK ABOUT THE FUTURE

> synopsis: 7 years ago Y/N broke Jungkook’s heart when she decided to end their relationship without an explanation. When they meet again at a friend's wedding, after almost a decade, Jungkook needs answers to move on.

> pairing: Jungkook x reader

> genre: romance, ex to lovers au

> warnings: explicit languages, violence, smut, cheating, nsfw, angst, +18 minors dni !!

> word count: 1K

MAIN STORY HERE.

*french writer, i apologize in advance for my awful english!

AGE: 19 years old.

Trailing your fingers along Jungkook’s arm, you roll to your side to face him. His eyes are closed, enjoying the warm breeze of the beach. You spend your afternoon in the water and now you’re both laying on the towel, still slightly wet and sticky from the salt. Propped up on your elbow, your eyes trace his features.

“Are you sleeping?” You ask softly, your thumb brushing his bottom lip before his tongue licks the dry skin of his mouth.

“Yes.” He mumbles, and you roll your eyes, leaning in to nuzzle your nose against his cheek.

“It’s our last week in Busan,” You whisper, and he opens an eye to look at you.

“Really? I wonder how I didn’t notice,” He says sarcastically, and you slap his chest playfully. Jungkook huffs dramatically, pretending to roll on his side.

“You’re not funny.” You groan, sitting up to stare at the shore. “It’s a big step. We’ll only see our families during the holidays.”

Jungkook sighs and sits up too, pressing a few kisses to your shoulder before resting his chin on it. You’ve spent your whole life in Busan, and now you’re leaving for Seoul to pursue your medical license and open your own tattoo shop. Jungkook, meanwhile, has applied to a few universities in Seoul, but since he’s on the waiting list, he decided to find a job so you two could live comfortably.

“Are you sad to leave your father?” He asks softly, wrapping his arms around you and pulling you closer to his chest.

“A little.” You admit, taking a deep breath. “But we’re building our future, right?”

“Yeah.” He smiles, tilting his head so you can meet his gaze. “Together. Think about it: you’re upset now, but imagine your father’s smile in a few years when we visit him – with a bunch of little monsters.”

A slight smile curves your lips, and you turn to face him, raising a brow.

“We’re about to move in together, and you’re already thinking about kids?”

“What? A man can dream.” He teases. You shake your head, and wrap your arms around his shoulders, nuzzling your nose to his.

“Yeah? How many?” You play along, earning a grin from him.

“Hm… I don’t know. As much as you want. You’re the one who’ll have to bear them, so it’s your choice.” He replies, making you fall in love with him all over again.

“Two,” You suggest, and he smiles, leaning close enough to brush his lips against yours without fully closing the distance. “A girl and a boy.”

“Like your brother and you?” He whispers, and you hum in agreement.

“But not with too much of an age gap. Maybe just one or two years apart.” You explain, as his fingers race gentle patterns down your spine.

“I hope our daughter won’t end up expelled for pulling a girl’s hair and breaking her nose.” Jungkook jokes, and you roll your eyes.

“She buried my face in my food.” You retort, making him chuckle. “I didn’t even know her or her boyfriend before that.”

“I know. And for what it’s worth, I think that guy had a crush on you and his girlfriend found out. I still can’t believe they bullied you until we graduated.” He says, you twirl a strand of his damp hair around your finger. His damp hair falling over his eyes is cute.

“They called me a whore for a whole year.” You remember, with a sigh. “I can’t believe he lied about something that never happened.”

“Right? You were closer to the Virgin Mary than to a cheap whore.” He jokes as you shake your head. “But honestly, I won’t have to worry for our daughter if she fights like you.”

Jungkook had to deal with them the moment they hurt you. He got expelled for that, but it was worth it.

“Oh god, hopefully she’ll be more like you.” You laugh, your fingers tracing shapes in the palm of his hand as he leans to kiss the corner of your lips.

“I still hope she’ll look just like you.” He replies softly, smiling and you roll your eyes. “I can’t wait to meet her.”

“Slow down. We’ve both got degrees to earn and life to build before even think about kids.”

“Of course. I’m not saying we’ll have them next year.” He chuckles, pushing a strand of hair behind your ear. “But maybe in like… ten years. When you’ll have your shop and I’ll earn enough money to buy us a nice house in a good neighborhood. We’ll be married, a cat or two or – three, and a baby on the way.”

“And a dog,” You add, looking at him affectionately. He’s always wanted a dog, he  already has picked the name out.

“And a dog,” He repeats, nodding as he kisses your nose. “And I’ll marry you.”

“Really?” You raise a brow, amused.

“Of course. I’ve known I wanted to marry you since we were sixteen.” He hums, tightening his arms around you. “I think about how beautiful you’ll look in your wedding dress sometimes.”

“Sappy.”

“Shut up. I’m a romantic guy at heart.” He rolls his eyes, his lips brushing against your shoulder. “I love you, Y/N. I want to spend my life with you.”

Your eyes soften at his words, and you cup his face, pressing your lips to his.

“And I want to spend my life with you, Kook.” You whisper before leaning in for another kiss. “I love you.”

You lean back against his chest, the two of you staring out at the ocean. You know you’ll miss having this view every day, or going to the beach every summer. But you’re excited to see what the future holds for you and Jungkook.

“You know,” Jungkook says, his nose brushing the crook of your neck, his fingers tracing patterns on your stomach. “If I’m being honest, getting you pregnant kinda turn me on. When I think about coming inside you and filling you with— ”

“Gosh, you always know how to ruin the cute moments.” You groan, rolling your eyes.

just a little something before christmas, i see you soon with chapter 05! (you can already read it on kofi!)

DUST OF US MASTERLIST.

WATTPAD.

buy me a coffee<3 (every chapters/drabbles are posted as soon as i'm done writing them.)

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[cripplecharacters]

I have a question about an idea I've seen. This is going to be kind of weird and involves the death of a real person during an epileptic seizure, and whether or not giving the character epilpsy would be a good or a bad idea.

So, in this fandom I write for, one of the characters, Carlos de Vil, was played by disabled actor Cameron Boyce. Mr Boyce was epileptic and passed away during a seizure before the series was completed and Disney decided not to recast him, instead choosing to have Carlos pass away in some event that canon barely acknowledges (there are nods but no cause of death is ever given, not even one small clue. Carlos's death is simply "he's no longer with us and is missed dearly.") Because he is a main character, people have been trying to find and work in a cause of death for the character that would make sense. Recently, I've seen people giving Carlos Mr Boyce's disability, epilepsy, and I was wondering if that was something that should be done, if it's okay to do, or if it's just disrespectful to his memory no matter what. It just feels weird, especially when this evolves into Carlos's passing being due to seizure like Mr Boyce's. By the way, Mr Boyce's friends and loved ones have little to no interaction with the fandom and thus probably have no idea this is happening. If they do, they haven't given an opinion on it beyond "Please respect our privacy." Mr Boyce was also a fairly private person about his medical history. He kept it so that no one except the people closest to him in real life knew he was epileptic at all, and no one really knew he was epileptic and being treated for it until his passing was announced.

I don't know. Would giving Carlos epilepsy be a disrespectful thing to do, considering Mr Boyce passed during a seizure? Or is the idea kind of okay, but giving Carlos the same cause of death isn't? Or is there no problem with this as long as the depiction of epilepsy is accurate?

Hello!

This is... a complicated topic to say the least and there's not really one right answer I can give you. Everybody will have a different opinion on this and I can only share mine.

I do have some familiarity with the fandom and the character in question, though I've admittedly not been involved recently or seen any of the newer films/shows.

In most cases where real people are involved or can be affected, it's generally best to go by their wishes (Or, in lieu of that, their friends/family's wishes). This doesnt mean you have to ask an actor before you headcanon their character as having a disability, it just means that you should keep it in mind if it's something they've spoken against before.

In this situation, of course, that's not really something you can do. And from the sound of it, there's nothing to go on from his friends/family either beyond respecting their privacy.

Personally, I wouldn't do it. I've been seizure free for several years now but the idea of dying during a seizure is something that still terrifies me, especially considering how many close calls I had when I was a child. It's something that is incredibly traumatic, especially when you're young.

Although headcanoning a character as having the same disability as their actor can be done as a way to show respect, that becomes a lot more complicated when the actor in question has died -- and especially when it was because of that disability.

To me, this feels a bit insensitive -- especially given that the intent is to have had Carlos die from a seizure as well. The fact of the matter is that there's not really a need for it.

If the people responsible for the films had chosen to specify the cause of death and had mentioned Carlos having epilepsy as a tribute of some sort, that would be a little bit different in my view. It would have been done with careful consideration and -- hopefully -- with some thought for his family/friends and what it would mean to them.

But that's not what happened. They made the choice not to do that and instead decided to -- from the sound of it -- keep it purposefully vague. When writing fics or creating art or otherwise interacting with the fandom, it's incredibly easy to either follow that and also keep it purposefully vague or invent another reason. In short, the reasoning behind headcanoning Carlos as having died from a seizure seems to be more out of convenience or some sort of "hey look, both of them had epilepsy!" thing instead of any attempt at a tribute or anything like that.

Giving Carlos epilepsy, however, in situations where Carlos wouldn't have died (In AUs, settings before his death, etc.) would be a bit different but it should still be done with care and consideration.

That said, this is just my opinion on the matter. Having Carlos die from a seizure rubs me the wrong way and feels like it's in bad taste but it's not something that's actively causing real harm, especially since you mentioned that his family/friends are likely unaware of all this.

Essentially, if it's something you want to do you're free to do it/keep doing it. But I'd strongly encourage people to think about why they're doing it and to consider alternate options.

Cheers,

~ Mod Icarus

[agrlsname]

Thank you @therealsaintscully for the tag! I'm soon about to post what might be my very last fic, so it's quite fitting to look back on my journey now.

How many works do you have on ao3?

38 – all Johnlock, except for one GO fic. On New Year's Eve I will post number 39!

What’s your total word count?

371,360 (will soon top it off with another 221 words ;))

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

What Friends Do (by FAR), Who I Really Am (personal fave), The General Idea, Coldness/Heat, Tomorrow's Song

Do you respond to comments? Why/why not?

At first I responded to every single one! And I still try to respond to every single person. But now, I sometimes only respond to the last one if it's a reader who's commented on every chapter and I get all the comments at once. I like staying connected to the readers, that's one of the most fun parts about fandom!

What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?

It has to be This Is Your Song. I mean, there's another one within a series that end in an angsty cliffhanger, but MCD surely has to take the prize?

What's the fic you've written with the happiest ending?

Oh my, nearly all of them have happy endings – so what would count as happier than happy..? Maybe it's actually the one that isn't posted yet – stay tuned for the resolution of the New Year's Kiss series!

Do you write crossovers?

Nope. I've written a fusion though (Johnlock and Moulin Rouge!).

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Yup. Some people get really angry at John in What Friends Do and they take it out on me. It's interesting because many MANY others adore the story with all their hearts! I even wrote a sequel from John's POV just to try to get people to understand, but the haters didn't understand anyway.

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Even though at the beginning I said I'd never, half of my works are now rated E or M. What kind? Um, is "emotional, gay sex" a genre?

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I hope not!

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Many of them, into five different languages! Coolest thing ever.

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No, I think I'm too pedantic for that. I've loved working with my beta on some poem translations, though, that The Sky is Full of Fiddles is based on.

What's your all-time favourite ship?

38 fics – you all know it's Johnlock, right? There are others that I love, but nothing can ever compare.

What's a WIP that you want to finish but don't think you ever will?

I don't have WIPs! I'm too much of a control freak and perfectionist when it comes to writing – I want to be able to change the beginning when I'm writing the ending. I don't even have unpublished WIPs – I hate the idea of leaving works unfinished. If I was still in those first years of writing frenzy, when I was single and didn't have a child, I'd have expanded on This Time – but as it is, I knew that I wouldn't have the time to do it justice. So I purposely ended on a cliffhanger that would still allow it to stand on its own the way it is.

What are your writing strengths?

Emotions, according to my beta! If you ask me, I'd say describing things – often emotions, I suppose – in new, poetic ways that play on different senses and therefore make them immediate. It's something I love reading myself, anyway, so it's something I've been practicing for... well, decades now. I'd like to think I've gotten at least somewhat good at it.

What are your writing weaknesses?

I'm weirdly bad at coming up with the small details that aren't important, but needed. A recent example is I needed a character to text another with an invented problem to try to get him to come over. It wasn't at all important what the problem was, but it also couldn't be just anything; it had to be in line with his character. I could not for the life of me come up with this problem myself – eventually my husband did it for me. So those kinds of details in my stories are rarely from my own brain!

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

Hmm, well, I've tried not to do that. As a reader I find it annoying to have to look things up, or scroll down to the notes. I have three fics in which characters aren't English; in This Is Your Song I added a couple of "Bonjour"s for flavour, which is about as far as my own French knowledge reaches... In the Fiddles series they're Swedes and speak my mother tongue, but I've written everything in English except for the words that English doesn't have (like for example "polska", a kind of dance), and at the very end, some song lyrics that are then translated into English in the end notes that come immediately after. I did want to add that song for flavour, but I didn't want it to be annoying.

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Johnlock! I started in the aftermath of season 4 back in January 2017 and then couldn't stop.

What's a fandom/ship you haven't written for yet but want to?

I'm wondering whether I will come back to fic writing at a later point, but for another fandom. I've long wanted to write more for GO, although I already have written one fic. It would probably be a lot of fun to write for OFMD too. Doctor Who maybe? I don't know, it intimidates me to write for a new fandom where I don't yet know the characters as well as I know Sherlock and John.

What's your favourite fic you've written?

This question is too cruel! There are so many of them that I love. Maybe I have to say The Sky is Full of Fiddles, after all – it holds such a special place in my heart for many reasons that go beyond the story itself (although that's true for several fics). Other faves are Your Daughter, The Zebra Sheets and of course Who I Really Am, which I'm liking enough to turn it into a novel I'm now trying to get published. See, I couldn't pick one!!

I'm on Tumblr way too sporadically to have any idea of who's already done this and who hasn't, so I don't dare tag anyone... Feel free to take it and tag me if you feel like it!

[whentherewerebicycles]

the baby is seven months old today and I am, as you might have gathered, obsessed with him. he is possibly the mellowest child on the planet. he wakes up beaming at me every morning and is like hey mom what are we doing today. I could say hey kid we are going to climb everest with no shoes on and he would be like sounds chill mom should we start before or after my nap? he is game for literally whatever. every month has been more fun than the last but this month has been especially joyful because he has discovered his baby sense of humor. certain faces, noises, and dance routines make him laugh uproariously and then he looks at you expectantly, already half grinning like are you gonna tell that hilarious joke again mom???? are you???? he has his more challenging days like any baby but I think that part of what distresses him on a fussy day is that he’s not happier like um hello??? I’m a happy little guy what is even happening to me??? he’s not at his cuddliest right now (there are so many toys to play with and dogs to reach for in this house he does not have TIME to be snuggled mother) but he still rolls over and tucks himself into my side and falls asleep clinging to me in the big bed for his last nap most days. he spends a lot of time in his crib singing to himself and practicing his new consonants (he is working on buh, muh, and possibly puh, and of course continuing to perfect various g sounds). he often hoots and hollers very loudly but then sometimes he will sing his songs to you in the softest, gentlest little baby voice you ever heard, like do you like this? what do you think of this one? he can sit up unassisted for about thirty seconds before he forgets how to balance and topples over. his favorite toys are giraffe friend (who lives in the car), elephant friend (he chews industriously on its trunk any chance he gets), and Obnoxious Piano Toy (he lives for its unbearable little songs). when Piano Toy’s songs play he starts unconsciously kicking his right leg in rhythm and then a few seconds later his left leg gets in on the action like the song is taking him over limb by limb (you can’t stop the beat!!!). he is deeply interested in and passionate about foods of all kinds except for his bitterest enemy arugula. every time he encounters a new texture in the world he gets this expression of totally absorbed focus on his face like a scientist encountering a specimen of a newly discovered genus, and then he must scritch-scratch at it for minutes at a time until he feels he understands it. and then he must CHOMP it!!! he knows his favorite people (my mom, my sister, aunt liz and uncle alex, his sitter) and will now give them hugs and chomp-kisses. he also definitely seems to have figured out that people find his hugs and chomp-kisses adorable so he gets a sly little look on his face before he does it like heh heh I’m about to blow your mind with how cute I can be. he is as bald as an egg and IMPOSSIBLY LONG how can AN INFANT be SO TALL!!!! he has a big round noggin and a squishy little square face and fat little baby hands and the chonkiest baby feet you’ve ever seen in your life and chunky little bow legs that he likes to kick kick kick as hard as he can in the bath. he is the best little baby and the biggest goober and he is mine he is mine he is my little kid!!!!!!!!!!

[reaganwnicole]

Addressing Addiction (Wicked)

After watching Wicked three times in theatres I think I am now safe to say I have a problem. This movie has actually ruined my life.

Before I even address the reasons why, I need to confess that half of my waking thoughts are spent thinking about Wicked. I smile to myself just thinking about it. My TikTok has been completely taken over, the songs are always in my head, and I can't even look at anything remotely resembling pink or green without saying "this is so Wicked" out loud. I genuinely cannot state my love for this movie enough.

Skipping over the obvious: Cynthia Erivo, Ariana Grande, and literally everybody else were the perfect picks for this movie and I refuse to hear anybody else's fan castings out. Every time I see somebody hate Ms. Grande and say "It should've been Dove Cameron or Amanda Seyfried" I die a little inside. Which of y'all really give a fuck about Dove Cameron? And Amanda Seyfried, I love you queen, you have had your moment. Sorry that Les Mis did you dirty. Jeff Goldblum, I can admit I was confused at first but, If he is 72 and is still that limber, then he deserved it (and he delivered). Even Ethan Slater has almost convinced me to believe he is a real prize. Lastly, Fieryo being played by Jonathan Bailey was the most perfect pick of them all. Fieryo needs a gay flamboyant man to play him and nobody else, and I fully stand by the fact that only Jonathan Bailey could bring so much sexuality to him the way that he did. You could make him flirt with a literal rock and it would be the most beautiful, playful, romantic thing you've ever witnessed.

The only negative thing I can say about this movie is the inability of people to act normal while watching it. Maybe every time I've seen it somebody is acting a fool singing, talking, and way too many gasps but I have never been so gagged by a movie that I do not even care like I have this one. Also, every single time I've watched this movie I never fail to think the ensemble talking is somebody behind me being the worst person ever. But no, they really just ate it up that much.

Right from the beginning "No One Mourns The Wicked" has almost brought tears to my eyes every time I watch it in its entirety. I knew Ariana Grande and her infamous whistle notes but holy shit. It's so good I can completely ignore her "blackiana" phase. Maybe I'm biased as my love for Ariana Grande stems back to third grade, but I'm even more of a fan now. When I saw it for the third time and my friend was underwhelmed I took it personally and felt as though my heart had been split in half. "Defying Gravity" has never failed to get me so fucking pumped. This is definitely how millennials felt with each new Harry Potter movie, and I'm thankful I can finally tap in and ride that high.

Overall, the movie was so good half of the cash grab merch has almost gotten me. The seven reprises of "Defying Gravity" never fail to excite me. My Tumblr is now entirely gay Wicked fan art. The only thing I can find that could make this movie better is if they share a little kiss at the end of Act 2.

[leejenowrld]

hi everyone!! i just wanted to share one of my close friends and moots essay style writing and review she so kindly wrote about ‘love me back.’ it’s written with so much detail, nuance and thoughtfulness <3 i shed so many tears reading it and writing my response. this is something i had to share, so please read it with a lot of care and attention. this post will be split into two parts, @outoforbit piece she sent me and then my response 🖤 buckle up. this is a long post but if you have time please give this a read, it will awaken your heart <3

[here is the original post @outoforbit made, here’s the think piece. i copied and pasted it exactly as it was written below but in case you wanted to read it in it’s original form, here you are]

part one — @outoforbit piece that she sent me, her essay style piece on ‘love me back.’

In a world where everybody dreams of chasing the glow of a superficial spotlight, two luminaries find solace in one another’s natural light.

I could wax on poetic about these two and their love story forever, but if I had to sum up why I adore Mark and Y/N together it’d be for the way they perceive one another:

In Y/N’s eyes, Mark Lee is the sun. A body of radiance that is essential. He’s got this burning gaze that could rearrange the cosmos if he wanted it so. He’s unstoppable on and off the court. He’s triumphant because he looks into the face of tribulation not just with a quiet, steady confidence, but a certain type of knowing acceptance that he is not who or wants anyone defines him to be— he’s above it. Instead of giving into the justifiable hatred and rage he’s accumulated over the years of living in the monumental absence that’s threatened to eclipse his entire identity since prior to his birth, he’s everything warm and nurturing. Instead of replicating the destruction that is determined to extinguish his hope, he extends genuine care and tenderness. A sure, forever-certain pillar amidst the relentless chaos and clashes. Everyone just looks on and can’t help but revolve around this once-overlooked hero whose star is on the rise. That’s why it’s so hard to hold his gaze. So hard to accept that under his watchful eye, he can cut through the glamorous veneer others admire, parse through what’s obvious to the naked eye for what’s behind her carefully constructed walls, and love every aspect of who she truly is. After all, even as a talented photographer that’s got an affinity for playing with shadow and light, how is anyone able to capture the essence of a heavenly body without going blind from that type of brilliance?

In Mark’s eyes, Y/N is the North Star. A steady, shimmering point in the sky in her own incredible right. Sure, there are other bright and shiny things to entice the eye. But who could carry themselves so effortlessly? Be (sometimes frustratingly) so far removed from reality yet possess the ability to knock the earth completely off its axis at the same time? No one could ever compare to how her existence alone could slow down time, draw him in, and allow him to free-fall. Joining the Seoul Hill Ravens basketball team had him on the fast track to confronting his own blood, grappling with his mortality, navigating a sea of newly-acquired adoring fans— and it’s so easy to get lost in all of that and more. It’s dizzying like watching a time lapse of night turn into day on 2x speed. When nothing seems to be going right, he turns to her because she is his constant. While the game doesn’t wait for anyone, while all eyes are on him —waiting for his next move with bated breath— he’s only watching her. He only sees his unwavering beacon of light, leading him home. Because she is his home. She doesn’t drift away like his so-called father, like his dashed dreams when his heart seems to have failed him. She never drifts when it really counts. She’s still there when he looks up, when he needs her most. She’s always had him wishing on her, for her —she’s always been his even before either of them knew it.

*I was toying with these comparisons in my mind for a long time, and when I remembered that section in Part Two, where Y/N tells Mark about how she snuck out late at night to take pictures of the sky and constellations, it really validated this train of thought.*

Now, these lovebirds aren’t the only characters that make this story as fantastic as it. So here are my (somewhat unserious) thoughts on some of the other all-star cast of characters:

Mark’s Best Friend

I’m not going to pretend like I wasn’t hurt on behalf of Y/N when she doubted her relationship Mark, and was especially hurt when she got to hug him before Y/N was able to in Part Six. But I can understand that we haven’t gotten to know her all that well outside of what Y/N’s perspective shows. I think she deserves more grace than she receives. There’s a history there we haven’t seen. There’s an undeniable love behind those blunt approaches to protecting her best friend. I’m going to cheat a bit and reserve the rest of my thoughts regarding for Back To You. All I will say is, she’s grown quite a bit on me from what I do know, and she’s already got a home inside in my heart (I’ll be that adult and buy her the giant bean bag).

Jeno

It pains me so much to say he’s the one the didn’t get away. The one who couldn’t. (At least, not yet, anyway. Everybody go read Back To You!) Beneath the title of captain, beneath the jersey that makes him look extra hot (this is not me talking, I was trying to find Mark’s jersey number and Command+F brought me to several mentions of how great he looked in his jersey), beneath the one-who-has-it-all facade he wears like a second skin, is someone who loves so hard in the only way he knows how. Being the only son Taeyong acknowledges isn’t a blessing. Everybody knows this. Jeno knows this. However, Rome wasn’t built in a day, and dismantling Taeyong’s iron grip over the life Jeno’s worked so hard to craft for his father’s approval will prove to be a journey that’s full of strife and heartbreak. Even so, I look forward to seeing where his character will go in terms of not just setting, but also personal growth. I found myself writing and rewriting this portion about Jeno (it still proves to be quite difficult to express what it is I find so compelling about Jeno because I saw myself in him more than I care to admit; through his fiery impulses, through his defiance despite the influence his father still has over him) but personal feelings/experiences aside, there were a lot of scenes sprinkled throughout the series that could never be the same without his presence to foil and highlight other characters and the dynamics that progressed from it.

Karina

Oh, Karina, sweet Karina. I’ve attributed colors to about two people in my life. Neither of them have a color as vivid as Miss Hot Mess Express herself. Every time I see her name when I read Love Me Back, my mind just envisions nay, screams hot pink and sparkly! Rereading where you describe her in Part One, I feel like that color association makes sense now. She’s essentially the Energizer Bunny with awesome hair and pom-poms instead of sunglasses and drums. She’s the ultimate cheerleader —not just on the court, but also in life. She’s all about the good times (“She’s super fun, super flirty even with an ankle injury!” could be a cheer for her), but when she’s not having a good time, she doesn’t shy away from telling it like it is— especially to her best friend. When the laughter fades and the party’s over, she’s an eagle-eyed spectator who wants to experience true love first-hand, too. She deserves to have someone who loves her. She can see what it does to a person —love— the way it brightens you up, pushes you to make some rather bone-headed decisions, causes you to yearn for the other if you’ve been separated for even a second. I hope whoever is lucky enough to be with her constantly throws confetti and celebrates her.

Donghyuck

He’s the life of the party and hilarious. We all need a Donghyuck to be the commentator of our lives. He could make watching paint dry sound engaging and action-packed. His lively announcing made the harrowing matches so much fun, and I can’t wait to hear more from him. And him directing that dance routine in Part Three! That man really can do anything.

Chenle

Clearly he’s the arbiter of taste in any friend group. The one to pull a friend up after they’ve been knocked down during a fight. The one to tease you lovingly. The one to genuinely question your judgment, too. But he’s a ride or die friend, from the river court days to the Ravens team days. He’s seen it all. He may or may not be impressed.

Ningning

Ningning is my queen. She is fashion™ . She is all things fabulous. No notes. If anyone has any, no, they don’t— they need notes from her.

Irene & Seulgi

The two pretty best friends are a package deal, and they should apply for sainthood after everything Taeyong’s put them through

The way these two extend all love and no judgment towards their sons’ partners despite their painful past— and even taking time out of their day to offer advice and encouragement in Part Seven is something I will to exist in real life for everyone

Someone send these moms the prettiest, nicest smelling flowers. I love them so much

Sainthood Applicant #1

If Chenle’s the one who’s seen it all, well, Irene’s heard it all

+10 points for making sure her kids are attempting to practice safe sex in any capacity

I would make a terrible barista, but I’d love to work at her cafe. Name a cozier place in the entire series, I dare you

Real talk, though, Mark recounting how she cried after kids teasing Mark about his father and Jeno, and how he quit the little leagues for her broke my heart. Part Three was too real for me as both a reader and person

Taeyong might have not ever had an ounce of love for Mark, but Irene had enough love for the both of them and whoever else that would make the effort to be a part of the mother-son duo’s lives

Her strength to pick up the pieces and never look back is something I will to exist in real life for everyone

Sainthood Applicant #2

Again, Part Three, but Y/N’s thoughts are thoughts I’ve had regarding a personal situation

Paired with someone I love dearly and am so, so lucky to have in my life looking at me in the soft way Seulgi looks at Jeno and the ache of pity that Y/N feels for her— it actually made me optimistic that if I can feel seen from finding the things that haunt me, then there’s hope that things that made me feel joy from this series also exists in real life as well

I felt a little less crazy and alone the day I read this

Her endless kindness, her efforts to build a relationship with Mark and Irene for the sake of Jeno is a type of generosity I will to exist in real life for everyone

Dishonorable Mention:

Taeyong

I believe in a higher power in every universe. He is not that higher power. He will never be that higher power no matter how many times he schemes, manipulates, and cruelly attempts to crush the spirits of his sons and everyone they hold dear. The audacity of that man to come onto the court and berate and shame everyone he lays eyes on

There were some tears shed earlier, so my eloquence is lost on me. Here are some of scenes I would kiss on the forehead and tuck into bed every night for varying reasons:

“Without a second thought, he’s gone, swallowed by the crowd. You stand there, invisible, feeling like an afterthought. You watch as Jeno gravitates toward a group of girls, the kind you’ve seen around before—the ones who always seem to be in his orbit, looking for a chance to get close. They laugh at something he says, their hands grazing his arm, their gazes hungry. And Jeno, your supposed boyfriend, leans into it.

You watch as one of the girls, dressed in a tight, glittering dress, dances close to him, her body pressed against his as they move to the beat. Jeno’s hands rest on her waist for just a second—nothing more than a passing touch, but it’s enough to sting. Enough to make your stomach twist. She leans in to whisper something in his ear, and he smirks. It’s a look you’ve seen before—not necessarily malicious, just confident, like he’s always known how to handle this kind of attention. His eyes are a bit hazy, a mix of alcohol and the mood of the night, and he doesn’t even glance in your direction.” (Part One)

Now, this obviously isn’t the sweetest scene a person could read —let alone experience— but it so perfectly highlights how incompatible Y/N and Jeno are despite suffering similar issues. Tying back into my whole spiel about luminaries, Y/N doesn’t yet see her worth, her inner light. She’s going through the motions, thinking the only body of light in her life is Jeno, with his own entourage of bright young things (in sparkly dresses no less). At this point in the relationship, the person who should’ve seen her not only focused on everybody her, he didn’t even try to spare her a look. It’s got Y/N feeling like not only are they drifting further apart, but she’s slipping away from life in general, being more spirit than star.

As for Jeno, he’s not doing too hot either, not really. Having his girlfriend not understand the weight of his incoming brother stir all sorts of fear in him made him throw himself further into the company of people that appreciated what he could control: his carefully constructed reputation. He’s drifting too, desperately search for warmth and light in places that won’t suffice. But he’ll pretend they’ll due because it’s easier, more comfortable to live the fake life he knows than leave for any love that’s true.

“As the game continues, it’s clear that Jeno underestimated his brother. Mark isn’t just holding his own—he’s thriving. Each basket he makes feels like a step out of the shadow Jeno has cast over him for so long. For Jeno, this is about dominance, about keeping Mark out of his world. But for Mark, it’s about more than that. It’s about carving out his own place, about proving he can hold his own.” (Part One)

I’m a broken record, but I won’t stop playing with this comparison of these beloved characters to stars. You can’t cover the sun, not really. Sure, the moon might slide on by and cast a shadow onto the earth to make you think such a light could be swallowed whole. I know Jeno’s mentioned as the shadow in the text, but I think the true shadowy menace is Taeyong and the damage he’s done to these boys. For years, he’s pretended one son doesn’t exist and the other is constantly pushed to the breaking point. Jeno is acting on behalf of him, going off what he was taught. So Jeno thinks he’s losing his life, but in reality, he’s slowly losing a shadow himself. He’s operating out of a deep-seated fear while his brother carries on with quiet confidence.

Back to Mark. He may not have had Taeyong, but he had all the warmth and love Irene and Doyoung could give. For everything people mocked him for lacking, he possessed something Jeno was deprived of. He grew up in an environment full of freedom that encouraged him to cultivate his own light, to nurture it into something truly astonishing. He’s truly confident and he’s got the skills to back it up. When you shine that bright, who can really stop you? When you have your own light, why would you ever feel the need to steal it from anyone else?

“You let your hand rest on top of his, feeling the warmth of his skin under your fingertips. His fingers instinctively intertwined with yours, the touch delicate yet reassuring. It was more than just physical contact—it was the silent understanding that you weren’t alone anymore, that he was here, holding you through it all.” (Part One)

Guys, gals, and non-binary pals, the luminaries have made contact, I repeat, the luminaries have made contact.

This is peak intimacy

After everything that’s been going on and falling apart, Mark’s presence, his gentleness and warmth has brought Y/N home. Gravity has never felt so good

“His smile widened a fraction, but he didn’t say anything, waiting for you to continue. With slightly trembling fingers, you reached into your bag and pulled out a small, carefully wrapped package—a record you had made just for him. The case was simple, but you had taken the time to customize it—his name written in a looping script across the front, surrounded by small doodles of guitars and basketballs. You had put more effort into it than you’d ever admit, each stroke of ink a small way of thanking him without having to say the words.” (Part Two)

Would a 2000s teen show inspired romance be complete without a custom mix to express your gratitude???

We need to bring this back, or maybe it never stopped and I’m out of the loop

Bottom line is this shit is cute, especially because Y/N is artistic and Mark’s a music major so it’s so  personal and thoughtful

““Relax,” he says again, his voice low, soothing, his gaze focused on you as if you’re the only thing in the room. “Just be yourself. That’s all I’m asking.” His fingers adjust the angle of your arm, his thumb brushing along your wrist as he guides you into a natural, comfortable pose. The intensity in his gaze makes you feel like he’s peeling back every layer, seeing something raw and true beneath your surface.

He lifts the camera, snapping a few shots, his focus unwavering. “That’s perfect,” he murmurs, his eyes flicking from the viewfinder to you, his smile soft, encouraging. “Just like that.” There’s a quiet reverence in his tone, as if he’s in awe, like he’s seeing you in a way no one else ever has.” (Part Two)

Peak intimacy, but with photography

It’s really sweet to see Y/N, someone who’s always been on the other side of the camera to capture other’s beauty, finally be seen by someone who not only sees her, but wants to see her for all that she is beyond her physicality

I think it’s in these moments that Y/N is learning to let the light into her life, letting Mark into her life by sharing something that’s important to her (her artistry, her craft)

“Her frustrations are further compounded by the fact that she can’t openly express these feelings without seeming petty or envious. So, she remains silent, wrestling with her feelings privately, which only adds to the weight of her isolation. Every laugh and whisper she overhears, every moment she witnesses of your shared happiness, is a reminder of the void within her own emotional landscape, making her feel even more detached and alone.

Thus, her reactions and expressions are not just about the disruption in the household or the inconveniences caused by your romantic escapades. They are about a deeper, more personal ache—an ache for connection, for being seen, for being part of something as effortlessly beautiful as your relationship with Mark. In her quiet moments, she grapples with these feelings, unsure how to bridge the gap between her loneliness and the contentment she observes in you.” (Part Three)

Here, I go again, talking about light. In Karina’s case, I think she’s got disco ball vibes. It may sound less impressive compared to the sun or a star, but I genuinely believe Karina is her own special sort of light. A million reflective pieces placed onto a sphere that never stops sparkling or spinning, matching the mood and raising the vibes. She’s a dancer. An entertainer. The one who can’t be missing from a party.

But what happens when the party ends? It’s not that she stops sparkling, but when you spend so long reflecting someone else’s shine —in this case, Mark’s sun and Y/N’s star— how long before you start to wonder it would feel like to be seen that way too?

Karina’s always been by Y/N’s side, always trying to lift her spirits and show her support. It can be scary to feel like you’re being replaced. It can be isolating to want love but not know where to find it

“The light in Mark’s eyes and the broadness of his smile as he embraces his mother capture you completely. He seems to radiate happiness, the kind that fills the space around him and draws people in. His cheeks, surely aching from smiling so much, only add to the warmth that his expression carries. Watching him in such a pure moment, you can’t help but feel a surge of joy that tightens your chest in a familiar, yet always surprising, way. It stirs something deep within you—a mix of admiration and a sharp pang of longing. What was this tightening in your chest that seemed to draw tighter with each of his smiles?

Seeing him like this makes you ache to be by his side. You want to be the one he shares these moments with, someone who can give him the same comfort and support that he gets from his family. The happiness on his face brings a soft smile to yours, even as you feel a small pang of longing, wishing you could step closer, congratulate him, and tell him how proud you are. But, for now, you stay where you are, letting the warmth of his happiness reach you from afar.

“That’s how he looks when he’s with you,” Karina murmurs, startling you. She’s right beside you, and her presence snaps you back to reality. You quickly ask about her condition, recalling the fight she’d been involved in. She waves off the concern, showing only a few scratches. “We handled it,” she assures with a wry smile. 

Your attention drifts back to Mark, who now converses with a man standing close to his mother. The man’s presence is comforting, almost fatherly as Mark looks at him with evident respect and fondness. Curiosity about his identity flickers through your mind, but the warmth of seeing Mark surrounded by love overshadows it.” (Part Three)

It’s starting to feel all too real, isn’t it? It’s easy to get lost in the darkness, to get used to it. We’ve seen some characters revel in the darkness in order to bask in a superficial light. Jeno fighting his brother for the spotlight that Mark’s never wanted. Karina strung up for temporary joy, fixed to the ceiling and not the sky she craves. Y/N still caught in the residual darkness of her past relationship and self-doubt. Three close friends who grew up in an environment abundant in artificial light. It can be hard to break free, to recognize the natural radiance of a genuine support system. When you get a taste of it, even from afar, how do you stretch out your hand and accept it? What if it dims because they had to share it with you?

I’ve felt that fear before. I’ve felt like my heart was a gaping blackhole in my chest where a heart should be. I imagined myself to be a thief, a light-snatcher of sorts. In the case that I ever generated enough light to share, it would somehow not be enough to sustain someone else. But everybody’s got an inner light, and these lights only make the world brighter. When it comes from a place of love, it won’t dim. When it’s nurtured, it won’t extinguish. This is the heavenly sight that unfolds before their eyes when they watch Irene and Doyoung showing up and celebrating their son Mark.

“Mark’s smile was calm, reassuring. “I wanna introduce you to all of my friends,” he said, his expression warm as he glanced down at you.

You nodded, but your heart raced. Even though you’d been here once before with Mark, this felt entirely different. This wasn’t just the two of you stealing a quiet moment together—this was stepping into a world that meant so much to him, meeting the people who had shaped and supported him long before you were in the picture. The weight of the moment settled over you as the court came fully into view, the sacred space alive with movement and laughter.” (Part Four)

I really love the reverence Y/N has for the life Mark has outside of her. I know she’s nervous, but this was equally important to Mark. He wanted to let someone he loved into his world, he wanted to share all the things and people that made him who he is with the person he wants to spend his future with. Their little world is expanding, and the light is shining brighter on them.

“Karina doesn’t let up, her hand still resting gently on your knee. “I know it’s not,” she says, her tone patient but firm. “But you’re making yourself miserable trying to live up to what everyone else thinks or expects. The only person who needs to believe in this relationship is you—and Mark. He’s chosen you, Y/N. Every single day, he chooses you. Doesn’t that mean something?”

Her words dig deep, unravelling the knot of doubt and fear tangled inside you. “What if I’m not enough?” you whisper, the confession slipping out before you can stop it. “What if I’m the one who ruins it?”

Karina listens quietly, her brows furrowed as she takes in every word, her hand resting lightly on your knee as if to ground you. When you finish, her voice is soft but steady. “You know,” she starts, “the way you’re reacting… it’s not unnatural. When something feels this real, this overwhelming, it’s instinct to want to push it away. You’re scared because it matters so much.” Her words hit you like a gentle nudge, a reminder that your feelings aren’t abnormal, but they still don’t make you feel any less guilty.

“But, Y/N,” she continues, leaning forward, “Mark makes you happy. I can see it. Everyone can see it. He’s good for you in a way no one else has been. He brings out something better in you—makes you lighter, freer, even when you don’t realise it. And I think you do the same for him. That’s rare, and you deserve that. You deserve someone who makes you feel this way, even if it’s scary.”” (Part Five)

Shit’s getting real. Words are exchanging, and not all of them are sweet and patient ‘I love you’s. The blood feud alone was enough to weigh on Y/N’s mind. But the brothers aren’t the only ones fighting. To feel a love as real as the one Mark has for her is terrifying. She’s battling herself, and she could lose it all.

I’ll never sing enough praises for Karina being a guiding light to Y/N, helping her make sense of the matter at hand. It’s not just Mark that chooses Y/N. Karina chose her too. Y/N’s got some great people by her side.

Y/N doesn’t have just a soulmate in Mark. She’s found one in Karina too. And she can start showing herself some love by allowing the good to enter her life. She’s allowed to be happy, to be seen, to be loved.

“And then, as if sensing the shift in the air, Jeno glances toward Taeyong, who stands near the edge of the court, clipboard in hand, his posture rigid. “This guy’s gonna kill us,” Jeno says, his voice low but tinged with a rare, conspiratorial edge. His laugh is dry as he gestures subtly toward their father, who looks every bit the control freak he is, hunched over his notes with an intensity that borders on manic.

Mark’s eyebrows furrow slightly, but he doesn’t dwell on it. He plays along, responding like nothing had ever gone wrong. “Yeah,” he mutters, wiping the sweat from his forehead and glancing toward Taeyong, who is hunched over his clipboard, scribbling with an intensity that feels borderline obsessive. “But we’re not gonna let him.”

Jeno turns to him, a smirk tugging at the corners of his lips. “You thinking what I’m thinking?”

Mark mirrors the expression, his own smirk creeping up. “I may be thinking worse,” he replies, a quiet defiance in his voice. “You know how much I hate that man.”

The shared admission hangs in the air for a moment, thick with unspoken solidarity.” (Part Five)

While Y/N have had a heart to heart, it’s time the Lee brothers were shown some love. This love is defiant. For all the brashness that Jeno usually exhibits, this feels different. It feels like bravery. He’s found a kindred spirit in his estranged brother Mark. Despite leading separate lives, they both lived under Taeyong’s shadow. But in this brief moment, they can overpower that looming absence of light together. They recognize their father’s stolen their shine, but they’re making moves together to not let that happen anymore —even if it’s just for today.

“You glance back at Mark, unable to stop yourself. He’s leaning against the bleachers now, his head tilted back slightly as he laughs at something Jeno said. He looks so at ease, so untouched by the chaos that’s been consuming you. And for a moment, you wonder if you made the right choice. Maybe he really is better off without you, without the mess you bring into his life.” (Part Five)

I know it’s easy to get caught up in this whirlwind romance. I’ve gushed about it for so long. But there’s so much more to love than what’s shared between lovers. Y/N, still wallowing in her own doubt, can’t yet recognize that the bond that Jeno and Mark could share won’t be sullied by her presence. It’s okay to let more than one type of love in at a time— even if it’s not fully formed or completely realized.

“Without a word, you smacked his chest, narrowing your eyes as you shifted to straddle him, your movements slow and deliberate. His grin faltered slightly, replaced by a flicker of something softer, more serious, as your hands cupped his face, your thumbs brushing over his cheekbones. “You need to promise me,” you whispered, your voice trembling with equal parts fear and determination. “Promise me you’ll tell your coach, go to the doctors, and get your medication. I don’t care if you hate it. I don’t care if you’re scared. I don’t care if you hate that your dad has the same condition.” You paused, your voice breaking slightly as your fingers tightened against his skin. “None of that matters, Mark. The only thing that matters is you. I need you alive. I need you happy and healthy. You’re everything to me.”” (Part Five)

Y/N is basically telling Mark she loves him without telling him she loves him

She’s had the capacity to love all along, she was just so caught up in her self-doubt

Mark really is the sun in her life, if he goes, she’s going with him

““I’m so proud of you,” you whisper, your voice trembling with emotion. Your thumb brushes along his cheekbone, wiping away the faint trace of tears. He doesn’t respond, but he presses his forehead to yours, his breath mingling with yours in the quiet space between you. His eyes flutter closed, his face tilting into your touch as if seeking out more of your warmth, your reassurance.” (Part Six)

I don’t have anything profound or revolutionary to say, I just live for these moments where the love Y/N’s experienced/seen now has her showing love in that same way. Character development!

“Doyoung turns his attention to Jeno, his expression shifting into something softer, almost hesitant. “And you, Jeno. You’ve been carrying your own weight, haven’t you? I see the way you look out for Mark, the way you protect him—whether it’s from himself, from others, or from all the crap life throws at him. You don’t just step up when someone asks you to. You do it because you care. Because you’re loyal. And it’s not just about Mark. You’ve been trying to hold this family together in your own way, even if you don’t realize it.”

Jeno’s brow furrows slightly, his posture stiffening. “I don’t know about all that,” he mutters, shoving his hands into his pockets. “I just do what I can.”

Doyoung shakes his head, a faint smile tugging at the corner of his lips. “It’s more than that. It’s the way you show up. For Mark. For everyone around you. And I want you to know, Jeno—I’m proud of you.”” (Part Six)

Again, nothing profound. The scene is already so well-written and so full of love and recognition. Jeno deserves it just as much as anybody else in this story (except Taeyong obviously)

““I am serious about him,” you pressed on, your voice growing stronger, more resolute with each word. “More serious than I’ve ever been about anything in my life. Mark isn’t just someone to me—he’s everything. And yeah, I’ve let him down before, but that’s not who I am anymore. I’ve spent so much time running from my feelings, trying to figure out what I want, and it’s him. It’s always been him.”

Chenle’s eyes lifted cautiously to meet yours, uncertainty softening the rigid lines of his face. He didn’t speak, but his silence felt less like rejection and more like quiet consideration.

“I’m not here to argue,” you added, your voice gentler now but no less firm. “I’m here to prove you wrong. To prove to you, to Mark, and to myself that I’m ready. That I deserve him. Because he’s mine, and I’m his. And I’m not letting him go.”” (Part Six)

When I first read this part, I was so nervous I thought my heart was gonna explode. What would Chenle say?? What would Mark say??

Rereading it, I feel a sense of peace knowing it was Y/N’s time to put in the work to prove that she loves Mark, that’s she serious about him and about them. I’m proud of her.

“Then he jumped. It was the kind of jump that stole the breath from your lungs. Time seemed to stutter as his body soared, muscles taut and perfectly aligned, his form defying the laws of physics. His arm stretched upward, commanding the ball with a precision that was almost primal, before slamming it through the net with a force that sent a violent shudder through the backboard. The crack of the dunk reverberated through the gym, but it was instantly drowned out by the deafening roar of the crowd.” (Part Seven)

I know I’ll never do this justice. I’ve made my peace with that. You made all the magic, and we’re just here to experience it and appreciate it

I’m sorry, Nabi, I’m keeping that giant bean bag for myself because this scene will live in my heart forever. I need a comfy seat to relive it forever

Every time I watch One Tree Hill and a scene where Lucas is shown to make a shot, I think of this scene and I stop breathing for a bit

If there’s anything cheesy input I have for this awesome scene, it’s this: To love is not to diminish, but to thrive. Real love doesn’t burden you, digging its talons into like some scavenger on the hunt, wanting you to bleed. It’s uplifting, helping you sprout wings, letting you soar. (iykyk)

Is it possible for two celestial bodies to share the same sky and almost never touch? Of course, but it’s far from impossible. What easily could’ve been exclusively a story about star-crossed lovers on the courts, Love Me Back recounts the electrifying tale of letting the light into a cold, lonely existence. A defiant testament that even the most patient and loyal of loves can pierce through a never-ending darkness and transcend any pre-determined history.

*Eagle-eyed readers will notice I've left out all the crucial, super sexy scenes. Again, I could never do it justice the way it was intended. Anyone that's made it this far should go read this for themselves. Experience it for the first time. Experience it again for the seventh time. Forever if you'd like (and should). I know I'm hyperbolic, but this truly was a life-changing series for me in more ways than one. GO READ IT!!! CHECK OUT SOPHIE'S WORK!!!*

part two — my response

thank you so much for sending me this beautiful, incredibly detailed review. i genuinely don’t even know where to begin because you’ve given me so much to think about, reflect on, and appreciate. i’m floored by the effort and depth you’ve put into this—it’s clear how much love and attention you’ve given to these characters, and it means the absolute world to me. i’m going to do my best to respond to every point you’ve raised because every single part of this deserves recognition. genuinely i shed tears and i reread everything twice with the biggest adoration and gratitude in my heart. thank you, truly 🖤

mark and y/n: the sun and the north star

this is… breathtaking. i’ve spent so much time in mark and y/n’s heads that i never stopped to consider how they might look from someone else’s perspective. the way you’ve described them, with mark as the sun and y/n as the north star, has given me a new appreciation for their dynamic. the way you see mark—this unstoppable, nurturing, resilient force who somehow turns his pain into warmth and light—is exactly who i’ve always wanted him to be. your observation about how he chooses tenderness over anger, care over destruction, is such an insightful take on his character. and your point about how he sees y/n, how he cuts through her defenses and loves her for who she really is, is just… perfect. you’ve captured their connection better than i ever could.

and then y/n as the north star—i’m speechless. your description of her as a constant, someone who can anchor mark even when everything else is spinning out of control, is so moving. i love that you picked up on how she’s his home, his safe place, the one thing he can always count on. and the way you tied it back to the constellation scene in part two? chef’s kiss. it’s such a thoughtful connection, and it shows how much care you’ve put into understanding their story.

mark’s best friend (nabi)

i love that you’re giving her grace because she’s such a complicated character. everything she does comes from a place of love, even if it’s not always easy to see from y/n’s perspective. the history she shares with mark is so important, and i’m glad you recognized that. her bluntness might rub people the wrong way, but she’s fiercely protective of the people she loves. i can’t wait for you to see more of her in back to you—i think her story will surprise you. and yes, she absolutely deserves a giant bean bag for everything she’s been through (and will go through) ;)

jeno

your thoughts on jeno broke my heart in the best way. he’s such a layered character, and you’ve captured his struggle so beautifully. the way you described him as someone who “loves so hard in the only way he knows how” is spot-on. his relationship with taeyong is such a huge part of who he is, and i love that you see the complexity in that. he’s trying so hard to live up to impossible expectations, and it’s tearing him apart. but at the same time, he’s so compelling because he wants to be better, even if he doesn’t always know how. your comment about seeing yourself in him really touched me—it’s a reminder of how universal some of these struggles can be. i’m so excited for you to see where his journey goes in back to you because he has so much potential for growth.

karina

hot pink and sparkly is such a perfect way to describe her! i love that you see her as this vibrant, energetic presence who reflects the light of those around her. but you’re absolutely right—there’s a vulnerability beneath all that sparkle. she wants to be loved just as much as anyone else, and it’s hard for her to see that kind of love happening around her without feeling like she’s missing out. your hope for her to find someone who celebrates her is so sweet, and it makes me even more excited to explore her character further in future stories.

donghyuck

what would we do without him? he’s such a joy to write, and i’m so glad you enjoy his energy. he brings so much levity to the story, but he also has these moments of surprising depth that i think add a lot to the dynamic. he’s the ultimate hype man, and i hope he continues to bring you as much joy as he brings me.

chenle

your description of chenle as the arbiter of taste made me laugh because it’s so true. he’s the friend who keeps everyone grounded, but he does it in his own teasing, loving way. he’s seen so much of these characters’ journeys, and his perspective is always one i look forward to exploring more.

ningning

queen. fashion™. no notes needed—she’s fabulous, and i love that you love her.

irene & seulgi

your love for these two warms my heart. they’ve both been through so much, but their strength and kindness never waver. i’m so glad you see how much they mean to their sons and to the story as a whole. their moments with mark and jeno are some of my favorites because they’re such a reminder of what love and resilience look like.

taeyong

yes, dishonorable mention indeed. he’s such a looming presence in the story, and i love that you see how his influence casts a shadow over everything. but i also love that you see how mark and jeno are slowly finding ways to step out of that shadow. it’s a journey, and it’s not an easy one, but it’s so rewarding to see them start to reclaim their own lives.

your breakdown of your favourite scenes makes my heart swell with happiness and gratitude. this part alone deserves its own detailed response by myself. and i’m so grateful you had the chance to reflect on these specific moments and their layers. this entire breakdown is a testament to the thought and love you’ve poured into this and your support for me, and i’ll do my best to address everything with the same depth you’ve shown.

“without a second thought, he’s gone, swallowed by the crowd…”

this scene from part one is such a raw, painful moment, and your analysis brought a whole new light to it. you captured y/n’s invisibility perfectly—the way she feels reduced to a shadow, fading away while jeno gravitates toward people who only appreciate the surface level of him. your description of her being “more spirit than star” at this point is so evocative. it’s heartbreaking to think about how little she sees her own worth in this moment, especially when she’s clinging to someone like jeno, who’s equally lost but better at masking it.

and jeno—your take on him is spot on. his retreat into a life he can control, even if it’s fake, mirrors y/n’s own struggles. it’s not that he doesn’t care about her; it’s that he’s too consumed by his own demons to show it in the way she needs. your insight into his carefully constructed reputation and his need for validation is exactly what i hoped readers would see. he’s drifting, yes, but his actions are rooted in fear and an aching need for something real, even if he doesn’t know how to find it yet.

“as the game continues, it’s clear that jeno underestimated his brother…”

i love your breakdown of the lee brothers’ dynamic here, especially the way you compare their journeys to celestial bodies. jeno being trapped in taeyong’s shadow, acting as an extension of his father’s will, is such a painful reality. he’s trying so hard to dominate a world that was never truly his to control, while mark is carving out his own space with quiet, unshakable confidence. your point about taeyong being the real shadow is so profound—he’s the one who’s poisoned their relationship, and both brothers are trying to break free from his influence in their own ways.

mark’s journey, on the other hand, is a testament to resilience and love. he’s had irene and doyoung nurturing his light, and that foundation gives him the strength to thrive in ways jeno hasn’t yet learned. your reflection on how mark’s inner light makes him unstoppable is such a beautiful way to frame his character. he doesn’t need to steal anyone else’s shine because he’s already built his own, and that’s what makes him so magnetic.

“you let your hand rest on top of his…”

this moment is one of my personal favorites because it’s such a quiet, intimate turning point. y/n finally lets herself be vulnerable with mark, and in doing so, she starts to see that she’s not alone anymore. your description of this as “peak intimacy” is perfect—it’s not just physical contact; it’s emotional connection, a promise that mark will hold her through whatever comes next. you’ve captured the gravity of this moment so well, and it’s a joy to see how deeply it resonated with you.

“his smile widened a fraction…”

this scene with the customized record is such a quintessentially 2000s teen romance moment, and i love that you see it as a reflection of y/n’s artistry and her growing connection with mark. it’s such a small gesture, but it speaks volumes about how much thought and care she’s starting to put into their relationship. your call to bring this tradition back made me smile because it’s such a lost art, and it fits y/n and mark’s dynamic perfectly.

“relax,” he says again…”

your take on this photography scene is everything i hoped for and more. y/n, who’s always been behind the camera, finally being seen and celebrated for who she is, is such a pivotal moment. mark’s gaze is transformative here—he’s not just looking at her; he’s showing her that she’s worth being seen, worth being captured. your description of this as her learning to let the light in is so poignant. it’s a moment of trust and intimacy that sets the stage for everything that follows.

karina and her disco ball vibes

your metaphor for karina is both hilarious and heartbreakingly accurate. she’s so used to reflecting the light of others, to being the life of the party, that it’s easy to forget she has her own shine. your empathy for her struggle to feel seen is so touching, and it’s exactly what i wanted to convey with her character. she’s vibrant and dynamic, but beneath all that sparkle, there’s a vulnerability that makes her so human. your hope for her to find someone who loves her for all that she is warms my heart.

“the light in mark’s eyes…”

this reflection on mark’s happiness and y/n’s longing is such a beautiful summary of their dynamic at this point. mark’s joy is infectious, and y/n’s yearning to be part of that light is so relatable. your recognition of karina’s quiet support here is such a lovely touch—it’s a reminder that love comes in many forms, and even when it’s hard, it’s worth fighting for.

“karina doesn’t let up…”

karina’s pep talk in part five is one of the most important moments in the story, and you’ve articulated why so beautifully. she’s not just supporting y/n; she’s challenging her to see her own worth, to believe that she deserves the love mark is offering. your point about y/n finding soulmates in both mark and karina is so moving—it’s a reminder that love isn’t limited to romance, and that we all need people who lift us up and push us to be better.

the lee brothers’ shared defiance

your description of this moment as bravery is so perfect. jeno and mark are finally starting to find common ground, to see each other not as rivals but as brothers who’ve both been hurt by the same man. their shared defiance against taeyong is such a powerful moment of solidarity, and it’s one of the first steps toward healing their fractured relationship.

“you glance back at mark…”

y/n’s lingering doubt here is so poignant, and your reflection on how it ties into her fear of being a burden is spot-on. she’s still learning to trust that she’s enough, that she doesn’t have to dim anyone else’s light to let her own shine. it’s a slow, painful process, but it’s moments like this that show how far she’s come and how much further she’s willing to go.

final thoughts

your last paragraph about letting the light into a cold, lonely existence is so powerful. it perfectly encapsulates what i’ve always wanted this story to be—a testament to the power of love, resilience, and finding your own light. i’m so grateful for your kind words and for the way you’ve shared your own experiences and connections to the story. it’s readers like you who make writing such a joy, and i’m so thankful to have you as part of this journey.

thank you, thank you, thank you for this incredible review. your support and insight mean the world to me, and i’m so excited to share more of these characters’ lives with you in back to you. you’ve truly made my day with this, and i hope my response does justice to the love and care you’ve put into your words.

[garden-of-gay]

Can You Feel It? It's Burlesque Part 2

This chapter is a bit shorter than the last, but that is because I've been super busy and I wrote too much for one chapter, so I am giving a shorter chapter now for a longer chapter 3. Anyway, I hope you guys enjoy this chapter <3

Ch 1, Ch 2

Also here on Ao3

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Eddie made his way up to the door Steve had motioned to and upon entering the back was hit with a wave of perfume and absolute chaos. The back was extremely crowded, dancers were everywhere in all the different mirrors and stations but above all a woman’s voice could be heard.

“Ladies! Let’s move it, ladies!” She yelled.

There was a cacophony of replies along the lines of “Yes ma’am” and a couple “Where is my costume!?” but for the most part, the chatter was hard to decipher although, Eddie managed to pick up a bit since his time working in the noisy bar.

“Does anyone know where Billy is?” someone asks.

Eddie is thoroughly overwhelmed at this moment as he searches for Joyce. He overhears a dancer talking to someone and figures it’s his best bet to find Joyce, follow the dancers.

He hears a dancer complain of losing a contact on the stage and the older woman from earlier speak up.

“Okay, if you fall off the stage remember, leg extended, boobs up” she chuckles.

The younger woman she was seemingly talking to then chimes in,

“Remember you’re a goddess.”

“Thank you, Robin” the dancer replies with a smile before the older lady repeats the phrase in a mocking tone towards this Robin.

Backstage is chaos, but he loves it. It reminds him of the few times his dad allowed his band to play at the bar and there was a certain anticipation that hung in the air right before performing. He bumps into one of the dancers before she calls out to a man loitering backstage.

“Lonnie, the sink upstairs is broken again,” she said.

“I’m not calling a plumber, Barb” He replies.

He then makes his way over to the elegant older woman and Eddie can slightly make out what they are saying.

“Joyce, have you read this letter from the bank?” He asks.

“Lonnie, how many times must I tell you? No business during business hours” She huffs, annoyed.

“Come on, Henry Creel is coming to the show tomorrow night, this isn’t going away Joyce,” he says.

She rolls her eyes at him and is clearly disinterested in continuing the conversation, but he continues anyway.

“You won’t talk to me before shows, you won’t talk to me after, it’s like you are avoiding me.”

“Well, I didn’t divorce you to spend more time with you” She jokes.

“I may not be Mr. Joyce anymore but I still own half this place,” he says before walking away in a huff muttering on about how it’s not paying the bills.

Eddie then approaches Robin who is in the midst of fixing up a dancer’s hair and then asks.

“I’m looking for Joyce?”

She nods her head in the direction the older woman, Joyce, went and he wanders over to her.

“Hi, are you Joyce?” He asks.

“Yes, honey, why are you in my mirror exactly?” She replies kindly.

“Oh sorry, I’m a friend of Steve’s and I’m looking for a job.”

“Where have you danced?”

“Ummm….”

Eddie had for some reason not anticipated this question and was now left floundering.

“At home? I promise you I can move though.”

She gave him a polite smile in the mirror before speaking.

“Give your name and number to Robin and she can contact you when we have our next auditions.”

“When will that be exactly?” he asked.

He never got his answer because Robin approached, and Joyce turned her attention to her.

“Where is Billy?”

“I don’t know, he’s late again,” Robin said

“Oh, I’m never late” Eddie interjected hoping it scored him some brownie points

“That’s great buddy now leave your name and number with your friend Steve downstairs, and we will give you a call, promise,” Robin said with a gentle push towards the stairs

 “I’ve just never seen anything like it, and I would just love...” Eddie began before bumping into yet another dancer, this time in big sunglasses

“Billy, Robin, and I were just talking, and you know she said…” Joyce said and then gestured to Robin to finish the thought

“That it was so sad that Billy couldn’t join us for the opening number, and it would be so great if he joined us for the next one”

“Listen, less flab more ab, my workout took longer than expected” Billy replied to the women

“And so is finding a new job when I fire your late ass” Joyce joked, but Eddie could tell there was a bit of truth to her statement

Billy then turned and acknowledged Eddie for the first time since they bumped into each other

“Hey, bring me a martini extra dry, straight up, three olives,” Billy said with an heir of entitlement

“He doesn’t work here Billy” another dancer replied while Eddie remained speechless, staring at Billy

“Then he isn’t busy,” he said smarmily

Eddie continued staring at Billy for a moment. Billy then seemed to notice and spoke with a cocky grin on his face.

“Didn’t your mama every tell you it isn’t polite to stare”

“You’re just so damn handsome” He replied

“Screw your mama, stare away” Billy exclaimed with a Cheshire grin

“It’s just no one would ever know” Eddie replied

“Know what!" Billy said angrily.

Eddie took note that Billy seemingly had a short fuse and was easy to rile up…perfect.

“That you are smooth like a Ken doll down there,” Eddie said with a wink before descending the stairs back into the busy club.

-

Once he got back down to the bar, Eddie took inventory of everything happening. He needed a job ASAP and it looked like this place needed a proper waiter. He observed the club for a moment and realized that the waitress who was supposed to be getting drinks to patrons was sitting around chatting with someone at the bar. He watched as a customer waved her over and she blatantly ignored them saying something along the lines of “In a minute”. This just wouldn’t do, and a plan began forming in Eddie’s head, if he couldn’t tell them why he deserved a job then he would just show them.

He stripped the leather jacket he was wearing draping it over a chair before picking up a tray from the bar and making his rounds from table to table based on who was in need of drinks. Once he was satisfied with gathering orders he returned to Steve at the bar.

“A shot of Patron and the tough looking guy in the hat wants a Cosmo” he said, Steve looked puzzled but replied

“What are you doing?”

“One night, if I’m not better than boobs-for-brains over there, you don’t have to pay me” Eddie practically begged he needed this job and he needed it bad.

-

Turns out Eddie had done something right and was told he could return the next night to begin proper work on the condition that he wore the proper club uniform. He had easily agreed as the uniform was all black and even if he hated it he would wear it because a job is a job and he needs it. He had been told to arrive 30 minutes early to his shift to be shown where everything was and get a feel for the place but other than that he was left to his own devices since he had waiting experience under his belt.

Once the club had opened and the seats were filled, Eddie began getting drinks for the tables as they waited for the opening number of the night. Eddie had no idea what to expect but was just as excited to see the performances as the attendees. After a while, the lights dimmed and the opening to Diamonds Are a Girls Best Friend by Marylin Monroe.

A kiss on the hand May be quite continental But diamonds are a girl's best friend

A kiss may be grand But it won't pay the rental On your humble flat Or help you at the automat

Men grow cold As girls grow old And we all lose our charms in the end

But square-cut or pear-shaped These rocks don't lose their shape Diamonds are a girl's best friend

Back at the bar, Joyce and Robin could be found watching Eddie as he worked.

“Isn’t that the guy that was backstage yesterday?” Joyce asked

“I think so?” Robin replied

“Hey Steve, what’s he doing here?” Joyce called out to him.

Steve’s face flushed a bit red at this, but he replied nonetheless

“He really wanted a job and so…he's our new waiter”

“And when did I make you the head of personnel?” Joyce joked with Steve

“He just picked up a tray and started working,” Steve said with a shrug, face still flushed

“Really?” Robin asked, her eyes bugging slightly out of her head

“Well, his name is Eddie” Steve replied sheepishly.

“Eddie” Joyce repeated before calling out to the man in question

“Hey Eddie”

Eddie waltzed over to the bar nervous as to what Joyce had to say, would she be super upset? Would she fire him on the spot? He couldn’t lose this job, he just got it and based on the look on her face, she meant business. As he got closer, however, her face softened before she spoke

“The uniform looks nice on you but roll up your sleeves you look too formal. Also, put up your hair you got a cute face so don’t hide it”

Eddie flushed and hoped the lighting would hide his blush. He had been told he was hot before by the men he had hooked up with, but he had never been called cute, especially not by a motherly type; it was nice.

“Also, don’t ever go behind my back again” Joyce said more stern

“Yes ma’am” Eddie replied, and he felt like saluting but figured that it would not bode well.

“And don’t ever call me ma’am again” Joyce huffed

“Yes sir, I mean ma’am, I mean…Joyce” Eddie fumbled. Damn, he was doing bad at this.

“Get on the floor” Joyce joked before patting Eddie along.

-

The performance continued and Marilyn sang:

Tiffany's Cartier Black Starr Frost Gorham Talk to me Harry Winston Tell me all about it

As the lead dancer ripped jewels from the other dancers’ bodies. Eddie watched mesmerized, slowly picking up the steps to the dance and dancing along as he went from table to table getting drink orders. He was pulled away from watching when a man’s voice spoke.

“Excuse me, Dewar’s rocks and a bottle of your best champagne for the table…and oh, will you tell Billy that I’m here”

“Any you are…?” Eddie asked, especially since this man clearly had money and no manner when it came to introducing himself.

“A member since ’91, Henry Creel. And you are?” Henry asked

“Eddie” He replied

“Eddie" Henry parroted back

-

Meanwhile, as Eddie waited tables, Robin had made her way backstage to make sure the performance was going alright and that she could help with any malfunctions and costume changes to come. As she watched, she was made aware of a presence once he came crashing up to her.

“I’m here,” Billy said

“You’re late, you’re late for a very important date, Vickie went on for you” Robin chuckled because of course Billy expected the club to wait on him.

Billy then looked between the beaded curtains at Vickie before he spotted Eddie and turned to Robin.

“What is that waiter doing here, I want that bitch out now” Billy exclaimed angrily

“What did he ever do to you?” She asked

“He said I have no dick” he pouted

Robin just laughed before replying

“That can’t be the first time that’s happened”

Billy just gave her an angry look before turning to look up at the lighting guy and saying:

“Get my spot”

“Billy, what are you doing!” Robin exclaimed, trying to stop Billy but it was too late, he had already stepped out onto the stage and to reel him back in would just disrupt the performance.

-

Eddie watched as the dancer from yesterday, Billy, stepped on the stage and began to fight for the spotlight over the original lead dancer.

There may come a time When a lass needs a lawyer But diamonds are a girl's best friend

There may come a time When a hard-boiled employer Thinks you're awful nice But get that ice or else no dice

Of course, Billy was like this. Eddie had encountered people like this before who needed everything to be about them, and Billy seemed just the type to do that. He pushed and shoved his way in front of the other dancer and the poor girl did her best to adapt to the situation.

-

 As the number came to an end Eddie found himself back at the bar watching and imagining himself in the place of the lead dancer.

Diamonds Diamonds I don't mean rhinestones But diamonds are a girl's best Best friend

He would sing and the crowd would go wild, clapping, throwing flowers for him, and overall cheering his name. “Eddie! Eddie! Eddie!”

“Eddie! Eddie, what do you need?” Steve asked, snapping and pulling Eddie away from the daydream he was having

“Dewars rocks and a bottle of Dom” He began

“And keep it coming” Steve finished

“So, he’s a regular” Eddie questioned

“Henry Creel, real estate guy. Dating Billy. This week at least” Steve answered

Good to know that Steve and seemingly the club were not homophobic because that might have become a problem at some point but Eddie was more focused on how the dancers got to soak in the applause and bask in the moment. He turned to Steve

“I wanna be up there, I wanna do that”

“Question is, do you have the talent?” he asked

“I do” Eddie replied

“Are you sure?” Steve asked

“Yes!” Eddie replied with a grin

“Positive?” He asked with a smile of his own

“Yeah!” Eddie said, grin getting bigger

“Good because you’re on” Steve replied with a smile before pushing a tray of drinks towards Eddie.

His smile dropped pretty quickly after picking up the tray of drinks and he huffed an annoyed sigh.

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