#and how many of my friends are still playing right into it
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gloomwitchwrites ¡ 3 days ago
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How about some silliness.....reader/you is superrr drunk from a night out with friends or high from anesthesia and the guys are trying to take care of them and we are all like "get your hands off me or my husband will kick you ass!" Or "omg you're so hot are you single??"...and they are just dying laughing like "I am your husband!"
I just watched one too many tik toks of this 😂🤣
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Oh, I love this. I don't think I've actually seen these videos before (at least on TT) but I do know what you're talking about. Maybe I've seen it more in other media? Like movies and television? Anyway, I understand what you're asking for, so I hope you enjoy what I've cooked up!
For the masterlist and how to submit your own request, click HERE
Task Force 141 x Female Reader
Content & Warnings (MDNI): swearing, established relationship, fluff, mild alcohol use, shenanigans due to drunkenness & anesthesia
Word Count: 800
ao3 // main masterlist // imagines & what if masterlist
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John Price
John stands beside you on the passenger side of the car. The car door is open, and all you need to do is slide inside. Instead, you’re arguing with him, insisting that you can get in yourself, and that you don’t need help.
“You just had surgery,” chides John.
“Minor surgery,” you correct.
“It’s still surgery.” John sighs, and then places his hand on your back. “Let me help you.”
“Hands off, sir. You’re not my husband.”
John does not move his hand. “I don’t remember us getting a divorce, love.”
You wave him off and John snorts. “He’ll kick your ass,” you insist. “Punch you right in the nose.”
John’s stern demeanor cracks, dissolving into a wide smile and a soft chuckle. He shakes his head in disbelief. “I’m your bloody husband. You’re stuck with me. Forever.”
“I’m serious,” you say. Turning, you attempt to jab him in the chest with your finger. Everything tilts, and you only hit air.
John sighs, exasperated. “Get in the car, love.”
“No,” you groan, pushing at his chest. You surrender to him, allowing John to help you into the front passenger seat.
“I hope you remember this after the drugs wear off.”
John "Soap" MacTavish
You’ve been out with your friends all evening, and you have no idea what times it is. It’s dark, and you didn’t leave until the bar closed, forcing you to make an exit. Someone called for a car, and you all piled in, dropping each of off one by one.
As you enter the dark bedroom, you kick off your shoes, slightly stumbling to turn on the bedside light. You turn it on, and immediately wince. Vision swimming, you rub at your eyes, and then notice the massive lump in your bed.
“Turn off the bloody light, will you?” mumbles Johnny.
A devious plan forms in your head.
You climb onto the bed, crawling toward him. Noticing, Johnny turns toward you, eyes dreary with sleep.
“What?” he asks just before you flop your entire body onto him.
“Hi,” you whisper.
“Hi,” he deadpans.
You wiggle over him, pressing the tip of your nose against his. “You seeing anyone, handsome?”
Johnny arches an eyebrow. “Did you hit your head or something? I am your husband.”
“Lucky me.”
Johnny blows raspberries. With one good shove, he flips you onto your back on your side of the bed.
“Go to bed. You’re drunk.”
Simon "Ghost" Riley
Your liquor-addled brain tells you to do it.
Across the bar is danger, the kind you want to play with—to sink your teeth into. Why resist temptation when it’s clear that the masked man across the bar can’t seem to take his eyes off you? Every time you glance in his direction, his gaze is focused and intense, daring you to approach him.
Which is exactly what you do.
He follows your every step, even if there is a slight sway in the way you walk. As you approach, he leans back in his chair, legs widening as if in welcome. It’s easy to reach out, to place your hand on his shoulder, to straddle his thighs, and stare into his eyes.
“You’ve been staring at me all night,” you slur. “Plan on going home with anyone?”
“I am,” the masked man replies.
“And who might that be?”
“My wife.”
You turn in his lap, looking around at all the other patrons in the bar. “Don’t see her.”
“Course you don’t,” he chuckles. “Because she’s sitting in my lap.”
You blink. “Is she?”
“You’re my wife,” he whispers.
“I am…aren’t I?”
He shakes his head. “I’m cutting you off.”
Kyle "Gaz" Garrick
The alcohol is an enabler. You shouldn’t have had as many drinks as you did, but this is a party, and you’re not the one driving.
Why not have a bit of fun?
“Hi.”
Kyle arches an eyebrow. “Hi,” he replies, drawing out the greeting in slight confusion.
You cozy up next to him, shoulder brushing against shoulder.
“So,” you begin, head tilting toward him like you’re about to whisper all your secrets. “I’m going to be a bit bold…”
“Go on.”
“But I think you’re cute. Wanted to know if you’re seeing anyone.”
Kyle’s single raised eyebrow becomes two. There’s a long pause, so long that you notice the absence of conversation.
Kyle’s confusion cracks, becoming a wide smile, followed by his adorable, familiar laughter. “You’re taking the piss, love.”
“I’m not joking.”
He laughs harder, clutching his chest like he can’t breathe.
“I’m your husband,” he manages to say between wheezing breaths.
“I know,” you reply. “Just checking to make sure you’re still loyal.”
He waves his hand in the air before him. “You’ve had enough. Give me that.” He plucks your beverage right out of your hands.
“Excuse me,” you protest, but Kyle is already downing it.
taglist:
@glitterypirateduck @km-ffluv @tiredmetalenthusiast @miaraei @cherryofdeath
@fern-reads @tulipsun-flower @miss-mistinguett @ninman82 @eternallyvenus
@beebeechaos @smileykiddie08 @whisperwispxx @chaostwinsofdestruction @weasleytwins-41
@saoirse06 @glassgulls @ravenpoe67 @sageyxbabey @mudisgranapat
@lulurubberduckie @leed-bbg @yawning-grave81 @azkza @nishim
@voids-universe @iloveslasher @talooolaaloolla @sadlonelybagel @haven-1307
@itsberrydreemurstuff @z-wantstowrite @keiva1000 @littlemisscriesherselftosleep @blackhawkfanatic
@sammysinger04 @kylies-love-letter @dakotakazansky @suhmie @kadeeesworld
@keiva1000 @jackrabbitem @arrozyfrijoles23 @lovely-ateez @waves-against-a-cliff
@ash-tarte @marispunk @gingergirl06 @certainlygay @greeniegreengreen
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chrattho1 ¡ 3 days ago
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bsf!chris x reader
backfired.
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summary: just one of your car rides with chris,where you get to know something interesting yet heartbreaking about him.
warnings: none its just interactions between two friends ig
a/n: ill keep making such blurbs and texts’ until they get together guys trust🙏 also this is inspired by yesterday’s video!!!
more of this au here
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you are in the passenger seat of the car that is more familiar to you than your own. the scent of weed mixed with chris’ cologne smells like everyday to you,music playing in the background,chris bobbing his head to the beat as his eyes stay focused on the road.
chris looks away from the road for a split second-just to glance at you looking at him.
its been a couple of weeks since you broke up with your ex,and chris has been there for you this entire time,getting you food in bed when you dont feel like getting up,staying over,helping you out in any way that he can-your admiration for him grew everytime he helped you out.
right now,nobody is talking in the car,but this is what you love about your friendship with chris-you can sit there in silence and just think without worrying if it will get awkward. well unless he says something stupid and breaks the silence.
you loved that about him,so much- he says everything that comes to his mind,he vocalises his thoughts to you and that makes you feel safe.
he parks at a corner,pulls the mc donalds bags’ ahead from the back seat.
“here are your fries-and your nuggets” he talks mimicking how a parent would talk to a child,you chuckle.
“what if the nugget you eat just exploded in your tummy like-boom” chris says and immediately starts cackling,you laugh with him,your head falling back and your eyes shut.
“shut up bro im fucking crying” you said wiping a tear that was developed out of laughter.
chris nods still chuckling,taking a bite out of his burger, his eyes turn to you as he smiles with his mouth full.
“how many people have you been in love with?” he asks out of nowhere,catching you off guard
“this is so random” you chuckle chewing at your fries.
“just tell me” chris groans acting annoyed
“i have definitely told you this before” you said taking a sip out of his sweet tea.
“no you haven’t” he shakes his head.
“you think we haven’t talked about this before? be for real chris” your eyes narrow,not believing that you two-probably the only two people in this world who have discussed all topics from the most random to the deepest,in detail for hours-haven’t talked about this.
“on my life-i dont know the answer to this question,why do you think i asked” he shruggs
“i think just the one time-remember i told you about the guy i grew up with back home?”you remind him
“yeah yeah him-how long do you think you were in love with him?" he asks another question.
“well lets see..” you start counting years on your fingers, giving up before answering .
“from the age of 12-maybe 11 till i was almost 17” you answer with wide eyes.
“no fucking way-i did not know that” his eyes widen at your response too,before he continues talking.
“what was it about him?” he looks up at you from his fries.
“i dont know-we were friends for so long he knew everything about me and i knew everything about him,he was just a nice dude” you said almost sounding like you were describing chris.
“so he was me?” chris gives you a smile-the smile with his entire underbite showing.
you grin,blinking at him before jokingly hitting his face to the side.
“what about you? how many times has THE chris sturniolo been in love?” you asked looking at him with a smirk,you have an answer at the back of your mind because this conversation has 100% taken place before.
“alright this backfired real quick” chris mumbles under his breath with a scoff,his gaze turning away from you hiding a shy smile. you were beyond confused.
“WHAT? YOU DONT WANNA TELL ME?” you were shocked by his response,usually chris wants to tell you everything,and knowing that you both have definitely talked about this before, him not wanting to answer this question now bothered you.
“okay i’ll flash the numbers and you just stop me when you see the answer yeah?” to your words chris drops his face into his hands and groans slightly,like he is…embarrassed?
you hold up one finger in his face,to which he pulls his face out of his hands,looking at your hand and shakes his head in disappointment.
“you think i am at one?” chris spoke his voice cracking just a tiny bit
“okay i remember now-two” you were positive that thats what his answer was,because when you first became friends he did mention being in love twice
a small smile on his face as he fidgets with the straw on his drink,he shook his head again.
“no??? three people then!?” you screamed in his face
“DONT SAY IT LIKE THAT?” he replies with a frown
“can i get a list because i feel like im missing someone” you asked him genuinely curious because you definitely remember only the two .
“maybe later” chris hummed returning back to his fries with the small smile still on his face.
“three people huh?” you speak up again.
“i just- dont have a problem being in love with someone and not doing anything about it you know?” he shrugs like he didn’t just say something that made your heart curl up into a small ball in your chest,you cared about chris so much and you know what it feels like being in love with someone and not allowing yourself to do something about it,you try to think hard about who this woman could be because the other two women chris was in love with-he did make a move on,your frown growing with each passing second.
“oh-chris” your face fell,your hand reaches down to his lower thigh,rubbing it to console him.
“eh it’s whatever” he shrugs,his eyes plastered on your hand that is on him right now,he takes a sharp breath
“anyways” chris sighs,his eyes lower than before
“wanna smoke a joint with me?” he continues,with a smirk on his face.
a smile grows on your face,you nod.
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taglist: @espressqe @ginswife @sturnsburna @carolina454 @hotgirlbl0gger @violetstxrniolo777 @riggysworld @verycoolmiyah @fadedstvrn @purpledreamertyphoon @mattsplaything @whore4chris @chris-halleluja @sl4ttformattsturniolo @annsx03 @mattsdemi @chrisslittleslut @chrislittleslut @poolover123 @luvvnai @chrissturniolossidehoe @pompomprrin @harmonysturniolo @sofia-is-a-sturniolo-triplet-fan @soph-loren @ccsturns @lovesturni0l0s @chriss-slutt @wysmols @sturniolosluttt @mattsdillion @alyssa-sturn @herewegoagain-b @bilssturns @sturnobessed @mxnsonn @izzylovesmatt @sturniolosymphony @chrissturnioloswife88 @sxphiee3 @purpledreamertyphoon @whoreforchrissturnniolo @slutformatt17 @chrissturnsss @realuvrrr @sweetxcheeryx @sturnl0ve @estellesdoll @glitterybtch @courta13 @mattsbitchh @slvtf0rchr1s
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commandershepardvasfuckit ¡ 2 days ago
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Wild Gods
Part 1
M!tiger god x f!reader
After the worst humiliation of your life you fled into the surrounding woods to clear your head and get some distance from it all. The beautiful ruins you stumbled into however held more than just history, a mysterious being there seems so believe that you are his long lost mate.
(Based off the ask here!)
————
Literal blood, sweat and tears down the drain. Years of practicing and refining your spell until perfection only to be turned away. It wasn’t fair! You did everything right and still the council turned you away! All of your friends were accepted though, only adding to your own disappointment.
You muttered a quick “thank you for your time” before leaving, your face red with both anger and sorrow. Once you were far enough away from the gathering you ran, you weren’t sure to where you were running, but you couldn’t go home to face to your family quite yet.
Farther and farther into the surrounding woods you ran until trees gave way to flowers. Beautiful, fragrant flowers adorning ruins. Even crumbling away the ruins still held such majesty, and the sweet smell of the flowers was so familiar and stirred something in you.
Many times had you ventured into the woods to gather reagents, though you had never stumbled across these ruins before. The woods here were well explored, but you had never heard of anything like this in them.
You wandered farther into them, there was something weirdly soothing about walking around here, which was appreciated about now. Well, it was soothing until you heard the crunch of gravel from behind you. Quickly you turned and swore you caught a long, feline tail that disappeared into the dense foliage, too fast to be able to tell if your eyes were just playing tricks on you, though now you also swore you were being watched.
You started to run, something was here with you and you were not keen on finding out exactly what it was, though at soon as you turned to move you collided with something. Someone.
He stood tall and regal, with the head of a tiger and covered with soft, mottled fur that was warm where your face was against his chest after running into him. Light reflected off the gold bangles adorning his wrists and he quickly moved to hold you against him. He placed a hand under your chin to tilt your face up to his, his tail wrapping around one of your legs.
“There you are, my queen. I have been waiting so long for you” he nearly purred.
You tried to pull away, but his grip on you was too tight.
“Who are you?” you asked.
“The lord of this place, though you know that” he was purring and nuzzling the top of your head.
You squirmed against him more, trying to get away though he showed no intent on releasing you.
“I have waited so long for you to return to me. So long here alone. But you have returned to me at last, my mate.”
“I, I don’t-” you stammered, trying to wrap your mind around the situation, “I’m not.”
“I would know you anywhere, my mark is on your very soul. You are my mate returned to me, do not shy away.”
Your pulse was rising in your throat, fear gripping you and taking over. You felt as though you could pass out, this strange being speaking as if he knew you.
“You were taken from me too soon before, but I will not let them take you from me again” his grip on you tightened, clawed hands digging into your skin, “This time I will rebuild my kingdom with you at my side. This time you will accept my gift this time and reign at my side. Our children will grow proud and strong, our daughters more radiant than the sun and our sons stronger than the mountains.”
Slowly he had backed you against a column, pinning you between the cool, smooth stone and his own well built form. His breath was warm on your neck as he nuzzled against you and you felt him grinding his hips against you.
You squeezed your eyes shut as you felt them tearing up. You failed at your life’s ambition, you had no idea how to go home and face your family, no idea how to carry on with your life now, and now you were trapped by this strange being.
“You are… scared?” he asked.
You cracked your eyes open to see him looking down at you, a sad expression on his face and his brow knitted together in confusion.
“You truly do not remember me at all?” he asked.
Unable to find you words you just shook your head. His grip on you loosened and his tail dropped from where it was wrapped around your leg.
“I’ve waited so long” he started again, “And you look at me like a stranger.”
“I don’t, I don’t know who you are” you stammered out, “You have the wrong person.”
“No!” an edge of almost anger slipped into his voice, but dropped almost immediately, “It is etched on your very soul, I would know you anywhere. And even after a thousand years your soul still drew you back here, back to me.”
You shifted uncomfortably, glad he was no longer pressed against you at least, but you had no idea what to do now. Returning home meant facing your family in shame, explaining that all your years of hard work were for nothing, that of all your friends you were the only one not accepted to the council. You had nowhere else to go, and now this strange being was convinced that you were his mate.
“You are finally home at least” he purred, “Come, let me help you get settled in, maybe you will remember then.”
You did not know why, but you followed him between the crumbling walls of the ruins, you supposed you really had nowhere else to go anyways.
“What are these flowers?” you asked.
“Jasmine, your favorite. You planted them here all those years ago.”
The ruins were an absolute labyrinth, every turn taking you deeper and to the point where you did not think you could trace your way back out. He lead you to a room that least still had a roof, though even then it was scarcely better off than the rest of things.
“I know it is not much now, but now that I have you at my side again I will be able to finally start rebuilding” he said, “Come, it is late, lay with me and rest.”
You followed him to what was less of a bed and more of a nest. His tone indicated that it was less of a request and more of a command and you were certain you did not want to test his temper. Pillows, soft silks, and pelts formed a surprisingly cozy place to rest as he pulled you against his chest.
You couldn’t help but sniffle. You failed the most important moment of your life, you did not know how you could ever face your family, and from the way this strange being was talking he seemed intent on not letting you leave here.
“There is no need for that. You are safe and home. Soon everything will be back as it is supposed to be” he leaned down to run his rough tongue along your cheek, catching the few tears that rolled down. “This place will be beautiful once more. You will take your place at my side to rule, you will bear our children, and this time I will make sure no one takes you from me.”
You don’t know for how long you laid there, his arm wrapped around you and preventing you from being able to get up and leave. His face was buried against the back of your neck while he laid on his side and clutched your to his chest, you could feel how purred even in his sleep.
Tomorrow you would sort this mess out. Explain to him better that you weren’t his mate, that he was mistaken. That you needed to return home and review your spell again, that surely with a little polishing up you could try again and impress the council. But for now you couldn’t do much of anything. So instead you would sleep, clear your mind, and worry about it all in the morning.
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cupidbedsy ¡ 3 days ago
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hi!! congrats on 1k, i love your writing so much 🤍
could i request the sunny sunflower with luke, with the prompt "i think about you a lot." "aw, really?" [panicking] "no." "oh." i was thinking frat!luke who's usually confident but there's one girl he's awkward around, but if you feel it fits better elsewhere, i don't mind :))
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✿ CUPID'S FLORAL SHOP ✿
here's a freshly picked sunny sunflower 🌻 !
warnings: none... i think !
word count: 840
florist cupid: if i'm being honest, yes i am writing these out of order but my brain is being very picky today. FRAT!LUKE STFU
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from the moment you bumped into him walking through campus, you've been drawn to luke hughes. it was no secret that everything about him captivated you, from his messy curls all the way down to his dirty sneakers.
and it was also no secret that he was entranced with you since the moment the two of you ran into each other, the way your hair fell around your face, the way you basically had to crane your neck to look up at him, the way you blushed easily from whatever he said, you were his... or least, he was going to make you his.
from there on out, you had dragged your friends to many frat parties in hopes you would see him again, and a lot of the times you did. usually, he'd be talking to a group of guys, hand clutching the red solo cup, flicking his eyes to a girl who had latched onto him.
but he also almost always found you, walking over to pull you into a conversation where most of it was him flirting with you, saying the most random things that got you to blush.
that was the extent of your relationship with the boy, however; endless flirting, sporadic interactions, fleeting glances, everything but what the two of you wanted.
standing in the corner of the party, you tried to spot one of your friends but to your luck, none of them were within sight. after many parties you had gone to, you should've been used to them and mingling with some of the other people there, but you couldn't.
you had already spent an hour and a half in the frat house, so maybe it wasn't such a bad thing if you left.
you mentally prepared yourself to make your way through the crowd, phone held tightly in your grip as you bee-lined it to the door. but just as you were approaching the kitchen, almost to the door, a figure cut in front of you causing you to stop abruptly and look up at them.
"hey pretty girl."
pink covered your chinks, staring up at luke, "hi."
"leaving so soon?"
"i've been here for a while actually, but i'm getting tired."
"oh." luke frowned ever so slightly, and if you weren't attuned to every facial expression of his, you would have thought he was indifferent about your departure.
you sighed softly, trying to think of a way to prolong your exchange. it took all of one minute for an idea to spring into your mind, a shy smile growing on your face, "i was gonna go get some ice cream, if you want to come with. not like you have to! i was just wondering-"
"sure. let's go." you stood shocked at his quick response, blinking, opening, and closing your mouth quickly.
you were in such a state of shock that you hadn't noticed him walking towards the door until he turned back and raised an eyebrow, "you coming?"
"right. yeah."
you followed after him, fidgeting with your hands as the two of you walked down to his car, giving him a grateful smile as he opened the door for you.
the drive to the ice cream shop was relatively silent, save for the music that was playing through the radio.
you couldn't help stealing glances over at him, taking in his appearance; the rolled-up shirt sleeves of his button-down shirt resting just below his elbows, the top buttons were undone, a few bracelets covering his right wrist, his hair damp and messy but the curls were still mostly intact, peaking out from underneath his backward baseball cap.
if he noticed you staring at him, he didn't say, continuing to drive with one hand on the wheel and the other resting in his lap. his shorts rid up from how he was sitting, man-spreading as much as possible, exposing his thighs that made your mind go blank.
the two of you arrived at the ice cream shop two minutes later, hopping out of his truck and walking towards the building, luke opening the door for you.
"what do you want?"
you blinked up at him, telling him what you wanted and he stepped forward, ordering it for you before paying at the other end.
he led you outside, itching to reach over and hold your hand but he didn't just barely able to keep the thought to himself. you sat down on one side of the picnic table, him on the other, as the two of you ate your ice cream.
it was silent for the first few minutes before you gained the courage to say something, "i think about you a lot."
a smirk covered his face, doing nothing to hide the internal panic he was experiencing, "aw, really?"
"no." you licked your ice cream, training your eyes to the table in order not to laugh at his fallen expression.
"oh."
finally, you looked up at him, giggling at the pout on his face.
"luke."
"hm?"
"i was kidding."
"oh."
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back to the shop ! ; navigation !
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iamquiantrelle ¡ 2 days ago
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SO INTO YOU ────── iamquaintrelle
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# pairings: aurelien tchouameni x black reader (✨💕) # wc: 5.9k
# tags: @sucredreamer @snowseasonmademe @jessnotwiththemess @rougereds @judectrl @mufasathatniggatho @irishmanwhore @lettersofgold @ayeshami @greyishbach @haartemis @goldenngt @solidbriii @sailurmewn @bbgkoo @mauvecherie-writes @leighjadeclimbedmtkilimanjaro
# summary: you’re a multiple grammy winning artist with a record breaking single based on an embarrassing crush on a footballer & when that single demands visuals who else do you ask to be your video vixen besides said footballer crush? but is he also willing to blow your back out too? ♡ masterlist
You were never drinking tequila again. Ever.
The tequila bottle sat empty on your coffee table like evidence from a crime scene, mocking you with memories of last night's social media bravery. Your Grammy awards caught the morning light, their gold surfaces throwing judgmental sparkles across your living room walls. You'd really done it this time - slid into AurĂŠlien TchouamĂŠni's DMs like your verified check mark gave you the right to disturb his peace at 2 AM.
Your manager Carmen sat in the armchair across from you, tablet in hand as she went through tomorrow's flight details to Madrid. But your attention kept drifting to your phone, to that cursed Instagram conversation where you'd actually typed out "hey, random question but would you maybe want to be in my music video? no pressure lol" - asking him to star in your video for "So Into You," a song that lived in that dangerous space between confession and plausible deniability.
“Earth to lovergirl,” Carmen's professional tone carried just a hint of amusement. “You good? Or still having flashbacks to drunk-texting one of football's finest?”
His response still sat there in your DMs, casual as anything: “The song that's breaking records? I'd be down. Though I have to ask - any particular reason you thought of me? 😉”
You'd screamed into three different pillows after reading that.
“I still can't believe he said yes,” you mumbled, sinking deeper into the couch as Carmen scrolled through your embarrassing Instagram activity history with restrained glee. The evidence was damning: every single post liked within seconds, story reactions that probably made you look unhinged, the way you'd set notifications for his account months ago after that first video blessed your FYP.
It had been innocent enough at first - a clip of him in a post-match interview, fresh taper fade catching the stadium lights. Something about the way he carried himself, that quiet confidence wrapped in genuine humility, had you hitting that follow button before the video even finished. The way he'd laugh with his whole chest in interviews, how he could switch from intense focus on the field to the sweetest smile off it - you were gone before you even realized you were falling.
Your best friend had watched your descent with barely contained amusement. “Not you making a whole Tumblr shrine," she'd cackled one wine night, scrolling through @tchouamenithoughts. “Day 43 of manifesting Aurélien Tchouaméni to ruin my life’? Girl...”
“Listen,” you groaned now, watching Carmen pull up the same account on her phone, “we all cope differently.”
“Cope? You wrote a whole chart-topping song about how he 'controls the game like he could control your heart.' That's not coping, that's down catastrophic,” she said, maintaining her composure even as her eyes danced with mirth.
She wasn't wrong. You'd lost hours to The Bridge episodes, team interviews, even compilation videos of his best plays. You'd lost count of how many times you'd woken up hot and bothered from dreams featuring that TCHM chain of his dangling above you, his knowing smile as he– nope. Not going there. Not when you were about to meet him in person.
Your phone lit up with a text from an unknown Spanish number:
“Looking forward to finally meeting tomorrow. Been keeping those 2AM DMs for motivation during training 😊 - AT”
“Oh my god,” you breathed, showing Carmen the screen. “He saved the messages.”
“Of course he did,” she said, checking something on her tablet. “You really think he didn't notice how you watch every single one of his Instagram lives? Even the 3 AM ones after matches where he's just vibing to Afrobeats in his gym? Those thirst traps?”
The way he moved to those beats had no business living rent-free in your head like it did. Neither did the way his eyes got soft when he talked about his family in interviews, or how that dangerous half-smirk would appear after a particularly clean tackle. You'd documented it all on your Tumblr, built whole theories around his personality based on how he interacted with teammates, analyzed every public appearance like it was your job.
“What if he found it?" The thought hit you suddenly. “The Tumblr account?”
Carmen's composed expression cracked slightly with a knowing smile. “Girl, if he has, he still said yes to the video. What does that tell you?”
You didn't want to think about what that might mean. Couldn't let yourself hope that maybe he'd noticed you too, that perhaps those quick likes on your Instagram stories weren't just courtesy, that the way he'd immediately responded to your drunk DM meant something.
Tomorrow you'd be in Madrid. Tomorrow you'd see if that confidence you'd analyzed in countless videos translated in person, if his smile was really as dangerous as it seemed through a screen.
“Make sure you pack some lingerie,” Carmen said as she gathered her things, a slight smirk playing at her lips. “Just in case those Tumblr manifestations worked.”
You buried your face in a throw pillow, but your heart was already racing at the possibility.
**************************************************
The Madrid morning sun painted the makeup room in ethereal hues, casting everything in a dreamlike glow that did nothing to settle your nerves. You sat still as the artist perfected your look - soft glam that highlighted your warm brown skin, each baby hair laid with precision, curls falling in a carefully crafted cascade. The "effortlessly gorgeous" aesthetic you'd aimed for had, ironically, required a 5 AM start.
“He's here,” your assistant's voice cut through your reverie, and your heart performed a gymnastics routine worthy of Olympic qualification.
Here's the thing about AurĂŠlien TchouamĂŠni - all the 4K footage in the world, every professional photograph, every high-definition broadcast couldn't capture what he was in person. The way he commanded space wasn't something a camera could translate.
He had to duck slightly entering the room (had he always been that tall?), the morning light catching him like it knew exactly what it was doing. The fitted white tee and designer jeans he wore were deceptively simple, the kind of casual that required serious thought. That signature "TCHM" pendant caught the light as he moved, the diamond Cuban link chain you'd written dissertations about on Tumblr proving worthy of every analysis. You'd watched enough matches to know his height, studied enough footage to know his build, but something about him actually being there, all 6'2" of him absolutely dominating the space, had your carefully constructed composure threatening to crumble.
“So," he said, that dangerous half-smile playing at his lips as he approached, “you're the one who slid in my DMs at 2 AM?”
The ground could swallow you whole any minute now. His French accent in person was a weapon that should be classified as illegal. “Listen, about that–“
“Nah, don't apologize," he laughed, the sound rich enough to drown in. "It was cute. Especially that part about my ball control being 'unfairly hot.'”
"Please tell me you're joking," you groaned, but you couldn't help smiling. His presence was magnetic - that quiet confidence you'd analyzed through screens somehow even more potent in the flesh.
"Three fire emojis and everything," he grinned, and you noticed his taper fade was fresh, clearly done for the shoot. The chain caught the light again as he leaned slightly closer, shortening the considerable distance between you. "But for what it's worth? Your voice is unfairly hot too.”
Your cognitive functions ceased entirely. The proximity brought his cologne into focus - something expensive and intoxicating that absolutely wasn't helping your ability to form coherent thoughts. The height difference hit differently in person, requiring you to tilt your head back to meet his gaze.
“Five minutes to places!” the director's call pierced through your haze, saving you from having to remember basic language skills.
The shoot itself was a study in sweet torture. For the first time in your career, you found yourself flubbing takes - missing cues, getting lost in moments. You, who prided yourself on one-take perfection, needed multiple runs at the simplest scenes. But how could you focus when he kept looking at you like that? The way his eyes would drift slowly down your body between setups, how his hands would rub together - a tell you'd seen in dozens of post-match interviews when something particularly caught his interest. But then again, AurĂŠlien was known for giving everything his complete attention. You'd watched enough footage to know that.
He played his role perfectly - too perfectly, really. Each take had him hitting his marks with the same precision he showed on the field, but there was something else there. Something in the way his hand would linger just a moment too long when helping you up, how his eyes would catch yours in the monitor playback.
“Last setup!” the director announced, and you silently thanked whatever higher power was listening. Your heart could only take so much.
“So," Aurélien said during the lighting adjustment, his voice dropping to a register that did dangerous things to your pussy. “Since you're such a football fan now... maybe you'd want to come to my match this weekend? VIP seats?”
Your heart stuttered. “Yeah? What if someone recognizes me?”
"Let them," he smiled, and that chain glinted again as he shifted closer. "Maybe I want people to know, especially about that DM.”
You couldn't help laughing despite your burning cheeks. "You're never letting that go, are you?”
"Never," he agreed, then added more softly: "But I'm glad you sent it. Been trying to figure out how to slide in your DMs too, especially after seeing all those likes on my gym posts.”
You looked up at him (way up - seriously, the height difference was doing things to you), catching that dangerous glint in his eye. “Oh….”
"Front row seats," he continued, voice dropping lower. "Right behind the bench. That way I'll know exactly where to look after I score.”
Your heart did another full gymnastic routine. “Pretty confident about that goal, huh?”
"I'm confident about a lot of things," he smiled, and that chain caught the light once more as he leaned down slightly. “Like how good those likes looked on my notifications.”
You were going to pass away on the spot. But then his hand found yours, and that smile softened into something more private, more real. “Sure I’ll go.”
Maybe drunk you had known exactly what she was doing after all.
******************************************
Thank god for these VIP seats because the view? Immaculate.
Grandpa Ancelotti finally put AurĂŠlien in his rightful position and oh my god, watching him command the midfield in person hit so different. TV did not prepare you for this. At all.
The way his orange kit stretched across those shoulders when he'd gesture to teammates? Criminal. And those calves? You'd seen them in videos but in person they were actually unreal. The entire package was just unfair - whoever said football kits weren't flattering had never seen AurĂŠlien TchouamĂŠni in one. His body was sculptural, all lean muscle and perfect proportions, like god really sat down and took extra time crafting him specifically to ruin your life.
You watched him talk tactics with Jude, all authority and focused energy, and the way he carried himself on the field had you feeling some type of way. His whole demeanor shifted during matches - all business and pure power. The intensity in his eyes when he'd call out positions? Yeah, you were definitely going to need a glass of water.
When he made that assist - a perfect pass that had the crowd screaming - you jumped up cheering before remembering you were supposed to be playing it cool. But how could you when he glanced your way during the celebration with that smile?
Every time he'd body someone off the ball, the way his muscles flexed with the effort... Lord have mercy. You'd really thought writing a song about him was peak down bad but watching him work in person? Your brain was absolutely short-circuiting.
During a water break, he caught your eye and adjusted his shirt - a move you'd seen in countless matches but this time it felt deliberate, just for you. The stadium lights hit his dark skin just right, making him look like he was literally glowing. And that jawline? Sharp enough to cut glass.
The final whistle had you watching his post-match routine like you hadn't already memorized it from videos - the handshakes, the quick interviews, the way he'd run his hand over his fresh fade when downplaying how good he was. But then he looked up at your spot again with that private little smile and yeah... you were absolutely screwed.
Because watching AurĂŠlien TchouamĂŠni absolutely own the soccer pitch? That wasn't just attraction anymore. That was straight up ruination.
You made it to the designated area and only had to wait around 30 minutes before AurĂŠlien showed up, fresh from the shower, dressed casually but still somehow managing to look like a walking problem. A clean black tee stretched across his chest, showing off the definition of his arms, paired with dark jeans that sat just right on his waist. And the way his chain rested against his collarbone? Yeah, this was dangerous.
“You waited long?” he asked, a lazy smile on his lips as he approached, exuding the kind of confidence that came naturally to him.
“Not really,” you said, hoping your voice sounded steadier than you felt.
His eyes dragged over you in a way that felt intentional, like he was cataloging every detail. “Good. Would’ve hated to keep you waiting.”
The way he said it sent a shiver down your spine, but before you could overthink it, he tilted his head. “You hungry?”
You blinked. “Yeah.”
“Come on, let’s get something to eat,” he said, nodding toward the exit.
You followed him out, keeping pace as he led you to his car — his matte black Lamborghini Urus. Of course. He opened the passenger door for you, stepping back just enough to give you space but still managing to be close, like his presence was a gravitational pull.
“You good?” he asked, one brow lifting as you hesitated before getting in.
You nodded quickly, sliding into the plush seat, inhaling the faint scent of leather and his cologne —clean, expensive, and entirely him. He shut the door gently before walking around to the driver’s side, settling in smoothly before starting the engine. The deep purr of the car filled the quiet, and when he rested one hand on the wheel, the other on the gear shift, your eyes traced the veins in his forearm, the way his fingers flexed slightly.
Yeah, this was setting you off.
Aurélien drove with an effortless confidence, maneuvering through Madrid’s streets like he’d done it a million times — which, of course, he had. As he looped around the Bernabéu, he nodded toward the stadium. “You should come back for a tour.”
Your head turned sharply toward him. “What?”
He glanced at you, amused by your surprise. “You liked watching me play, right?”
Like was an understatement. Watching him on the pitch, commanding the game with precision and strength, was one thing. But now, seeing him here, driving through the city with that same quiet control, his jaw flexing as he focused on the road, his fingers tapping against the wheel — it was too much.
You were obsessed. Fully.
Your crush was sitting mere inches away, effortlessly charming, looking stupid good behind the wheel, and here you were, acting all timid. No. You needed to snap out of it. Because if you didn’t make a move now, when would you?
“You like tacos?” His voice cut through your thoughts as he stopped at a red light, glancing at you with a knowing smirk.
Of course, you liked tacos. But right now? Food was the last thing on your mind.
Because tomorrow night, you’d be on a flight back to LA. Who knew when you’d see him again? Your lives were on different continents. And after everything —after DMing him, after him actually showing up for your video — didn’t you deserve this one night?
Your heart pounded as you turned toward him fully, a slow smile curving your lips. “Tacos can wait.”
Aurélien’s lips curved into a smirk, the kind that sent heat rushing through you. He tilted his head slightly, feigning innocence. “Oh? And what are you in the mood for?”
The way his voice dipped on the last word made your breath hitch. He knew exactly what you meant. And judging by the way his fingers flexed against the steering wheel, he liked where this was going.
“Maybe we can go back to your place?” you suggested, trying to sound casual despite the thrum of anticipation running through you.
He hummed, dragging his tongue across his bottom lip like he was weighing his options. “For something to eat…or?”
“Definitely or,” you giggled, the boldness surprising even yourself.
Aurélien let out a deep chuckle, shaking his head slightly as he turned onto a quieter road. “Alright. So, UberEats later. Sounds good.”
Your stomach flipped at the ease in his tone, like this was the most natural thing in the world. Then his eyes flicked to you, warm and dark with something unreadable, and he bit his lip. “You’re so beautiful.”
The compliment was soft, unprompted, and it caught you off guard. Your chest tightened, heat creeping up your neck. “Thank you.”
He didn’t rush the drive, taking his time maneuvering through the streets, letting conversation flow easily between you. He asked about your time in Madrid, what you’d done so far, if you liked the city. And the whole time, his voice had that smooth, rich quality that made every word feel like it was meant just for you.
When he finally pulled up to his house — a sleek, modern place with clean lines and warm lighting —you barely had time to take it in before a low bark caught your attention.
Ocho.
The Belgian Malinois trotted toward the door as soon as you stepped inside, his dark eyes locked onto you with curiosity. Aurélien placed a reassuring hand on your lower back, his touch warm and grounding. “Let him sniff you first,” he murmured.
You extended your hand slightly, letting Ocho inspect you. The dog’s ears twitched before he gave a small huff, seemingly satisfied.
Aurélien grinned. “Good boy.” Then, switching to French, he said, “Va dans ta chambre.” (Go to your room.)
Ocho obeyed immediately, padding off toward what you assumed was his designated space.
“He’s well-trained,” you noted, impressed.
Aurélien shrugged, closing the door behind him. “Had to be. He’s my best boy.” Then he turned to you, his gaze softer now. “You want anything to drink?”
The fact that he even asked — so polite, so sweet —made your heart squeeze a little.
You shook your head. “I’m good.”
Still, he grabbed a bottle of Gatorade and a water anyway, tucking them under his arm before reaching for you. His arm wrapped around your waist, pulling you in just enough to make your breath hitch. “Come on.”
As he guided you upstairs, his lips found the side of your neck, pressing slow, lingering kisses against your skin as you walked. His goatee tickled, the warmth of his mouth sending shivers down your spine.
By the time you made it to his bedroom, you were already gripping his arm, steadying yourself against the dizzying effect of his touch.
Aurélien smirked as he nudged the door shut behind you. “Still thinking about tacos?”
Not even a little bit. “No.”
He placed the Gatorade and water bottle on the bedside table then Aurélien’s hands were warm against your waist, fingers pressing into your skin as he pulled you in. His lips found yours, soft at first, tasting, teasing, savoring. The kiss started slow, a gentle exploration, his lips moving against yours in a way that had your heart thudding in your chest.
But then his hands slid lower, gripping the curve of your hips, and something shifted. The kiss deepened, turning hotter, messier — needy. His tongue met yours, stroking, claiming, pulling soft moans from your lips that he swallowed greedily.
The room was quiet except for the sounds of your mouths working against each other, the wet slide of tongues, the occasional breathless sighs escaping between kisses. His fingers trailed up your back, making you arch into him, pressing your body flush against his. The heat between you was dizzying, his scent — fresh, clean, and something uniquely him —wrapping around you like a drug.
Your hands roamed, exploring the hard planes of his back, the ridges of muscle beneath his skin. He groaned into your mouth when your nails scratched lightly at his nape, the sound vibrating through you and making your thighs clench.
His hands moved with purpose now, sliding under the hem of your top, pushing it up, breaking the kiss only long enough to strip it from you. Then he went for your bottoms, peeling them away, leaving you in just your underwear. His dark eyes roved over you, taking you in, heat flickering in his gaze.
“Fuck,” he muttered, almost to himself, before his hands were back on you, caressing, exploring, like he needed to feel every inch of your skin.
You didn’t hesitate, your fingers slipping under the hem of his shirt, tugging it upward. He let you pull it over his head, and your breath hitched when you got a full view of him — his abs looked even better in person, all taut muscle and definition, a masterpiece carved in 4D.
Your fingers traced along the ridges, relishing the way his muscles tensed beneath your touch.
Aurélien groaned, low and deep, his head tipping back slightly. “You’re really testing my patience, bébé.”
You smiled, dragging your fingertips lower, teasing along the waistband of his jeans. Your fingers worked at the button, then the zipper, easing the denim down his hips. He helped, pushing them the rest of the way until they pooled at his feet, leaving him in just his Aime boxers.
Your breath caught.
He was hard.
The thick outline of his length strained against the fabric, the sight making heat pool low in your belly.
Your hands ghosted over his erection, barely grazing him, but it was enough to make him suck in a sharp breath.
“Shit,” he hissed, his hips jerking slightly at the contact.
You muttered an apology, but he just shook his head, eyes dark with heat. “It’s okay, bébé.”
Then his lips were on yours again, stealing the breath from your lungs, guiding you toward the bed. You barely registered the feel of the mattress beneath you before he was pressing you down, his body hovering over yours, his heat surrounding you.
And from the way he looked at you — like he was about to ruin you — you knew you were in for it.
His hands skimmed down your body to unclasp your bra then his fingers hooked into the waistband of your underwear, dragging them down your legs with agonizing slowness. His gaze roved over you, hungry and heated, before he lowered himself between your thighs.
His mouth found your skin, leaving a trail of open-mouthed kisses from your navel downward, making you shiver in anticipation.
And then — oh.
Aurélien’s lips, his tongue, the warmth of his breath against your pussy had you gasping, your fingers tangling in his curls as he worked you over with a skill that had your thighs trembling.
He was deliberate but messy, completely focused on you, his lips wrapping around your clit while his tongue moved in slow, devastating circles. When he slipped two fingers inside, curling them just right, a strangled moan escaped your lips.
“Tu prends si bien, bébé,” he murmured against you, the vibration of his voice making you whimper. His fingers stroked inside you, matching the rhythm of his tongue, and your hips bucked instinctively. He just chuckled, holding you in place as he kept going, kept building you higher, until—
And then he pulled away.
A whimper of protest left your lips before you could stop it, and he smirked at your pout, his thumb swiping at the corner of his mouth like he was savoring the taste of you.
“Be right back,” he said, pressing a final kiss to your inner thigh before moving toward his dresser.
You pushed up on your elbows, watching as he pulled out a condom, then hooked his thumbs into the waistband of his boxers, pushing them down. Your breath hitched at the sight of him — thick, long, and impossibly hard.
Aurélien caught you staring and smirked. “Like what you see?”
You swallowed, your cheeks heating. “Obviously.”
That made him chuckle as he rolled the condom on, then returned to the bed, his hands guiding your legs further apart as he settled between them. One arm reached behind you, grabbing a pillow and tucking it under your lower back, another small but thoughtful gesture that made your chest tighten in a way that had nothing to do with arousal.
His lips found your neck as he nudged himself against your entrance, teasing you with shallow strokes, making your body crave him even more.
And as he finally, finally pushed inside, a deep moan left your lips, because — oh. Oh.
This was happening. Your crush, your fantasy, your dream — was now your reality.
His thrusts were slow at first, letting you feel every inch of him stretching you, filling you, but it didn’t take long before the teasing gave way to something deeper, more urgent. He kissed you through it, all tongue and heat, swallowing your moans as his hips found a steady rhythm.
“You feel so fucking good,” he murmured against your lips, his voice thick with pleasure. “So wet for me.”
The chain around his neck swung forward with every movement, the cool metal brushing against your skin, dangling just above your face, and god, he looked beautiful like this — face twisted in pleasure, jaw clenched, brows furrowed, dark eyes locked on yours like he never wanted to look away.
“Tu es si belle,” he groaned, dropping his head to your neck, dragging open-mouthed kisses along your throat before moving lower. His tongue flicked over your nipple before he took it into his mouth, sucking just enough to send a sharp jolt of pleasure through you. Your back arched off the bed, hands tangling in his curls as you whimpered his name.
AurĂŠlien pulled back slightly, his teeth grazing the sensitive skin before he released you with a wet pop. His eyes met yours, dark and full of intent.
“Turn over for me,” he said, voice like gravel, thick with desire.
You swallowed, your body already obeying before your mind could catch up. He sat back, watching you get on all fours, his large hands smoothing over the curve of your ass, squeezing each cheek once before dragging up your spine. The way he looked at you, eyes burning with hunger, sent heat pooling low in your stomach.
“You’re perfect,” he muttered, almost to himself. Then he ran a hand through his curls, exhaling sharply before gripping your hips and lining himself up again.
And when he pushed back inside, deeper than before, a broken moan fell from your lips.
“That’s it, bébé,” he murmured, his fingers digging into your skin as he started to move, slow at first, teasing. “Taking me so well.”
His pace quickened, the sound of skin on skin filling the air, along with the low, guttural groans spilling from his lips. His chain swung again, the rhythmic clink of metal adding to the mix of sensations that had you spiraling.
“Feel me?” he rasped, dragging a hand up your spine to fist your hair gently, pulling just enough to make you arch. “So deep inside you. Fuck.”
You whimpered, barely able to form words, barely able to breathe with how good he felt, how he filled every inch of you like he was made for this.
“Talk to me,” he urged, voice raw. “Let me hear you.”
“I’m—” Your words broke off into a moan as he angled his hips just right, hitting that spot that made stars burst behind your eyes.
“Yeah?” he taunted, a smirk in his voice. “Right there, huh?”
You could only nod frantically, your body trembling as he picked up the pace, chasing both of your releases. His angled his hips once more and that made you let out something primal.
“Damn, yes fuck me back,” he crooned just before you felt his lips touch the middle of spine. You shivered at the sensation, moaning out his name like a prayer.
“Aurélien….”
He rocked into you harder, faster and it made your toes curl. He was relentless and you loved every second of it. The sounds you both were making was the perfect lullaby of lust and pleasure.
“Mm…shit….Aurélien.” You couldn’t stop from moaning his name and judging by the way his hands gripped your hips each time, you could tell that he liked it.
Soon, you both were pushed over that edge, moaning as your orgasm overwhelmed your entire body. After awhile, you felt him slip out of you and then the bed shifted as he moved to throw out the condom.
Your body still hummed with the aftershocks of pleasure, limbs heavy, breath slowly evening out. You were probably a mess — hair wild, lips swollen, body still flushed with heat — but Aurélien? He looked unfairly good.
He was leaning back against the headboard, his chest still rising and falling steadily, dark skin glowing under the dim light. The chain that had been dangling in your face minutes ago now rested against his collarbones, catching the light with each small movement. He reached over to grab his Gatorade, unscrewing the cap and taking a long sip before setting it on the bedside table.
Then, he turned to you, dark eyes scanning your face, something soft in his expression. “You want some?”
You shook your head, not because you weren’t thirsty, but because you couldn’t stop staring at him.
His lips quirked slightly. “You must really like me.”
The way he said it wasn’t cocky or teasing — it was knowing, like he’d been piecing it together all night. And maybe he was right, because you couldn’t help the dopey-ass smile that spread across your face.
Aurélien chuckled, shaking his head before exhaling through his nose. “I like you too. Wish you didn’t beat me to sliding in the DMs first, though.”
You lifted a brow. “You really mad about that?”
He made a little face, scrunching his nose slightly, which was unfairly adorable for someone who had just rearranged your insides. “Not that much,” he admitted. “But I would’ve liked the chase.”
You scoffed, rolling onto your side to face him. “The chase? What are you, a lion?”
That made him smile, a real one, warm and lazy, like he was letting his guard down completely. “When a guy likes a girl, he usually asks her out first,” he said simply. “You were in my likes, I was in yours… I was about to slide through, but yeah, you beat me to it.”
Your stomach did a little flip.
He reached out then, running a hand down your arm before linking his fingers loosely with yours. “But I’m gonna do the rest, okay?”
Your breath caught, your heart stumbling in your chest. This was Aurélien Tchouaméni, your crush, your dream, and now, here he was — holding your hand, looking at you like this wasn’t just some one-night thing.
“Okay,” you whispered, squeezing his fingers lightly.
His smile widened, and then he tugged you closer, pressing a lingering kiss to your forehead before settling beside you, keeping your hand in his like he wasn’t planning to let go anytime soon.
You couldn’t help but stare at him — at the strong lines of his face, the sharp jaw softened by the faintest hint of stubble, the fullness of his lips, the way his lashes rested against his cheeks when he blinked. He was so beautiful.
“What?” he murmured, catching you staring.
You shrugged, biting your lip. “Just thinking.”
“About what?”
How crazy it was that you were here. That this wasn’t a dream. That your crush — the man who dominated the midfield with an effortless cool, the one you’d written lyrics about, the one you’d been too shy to DM for the longest time — was lying next to you, holding your hand like it was the most natural thing in the world.
“About how wild this is,” you admitted.
Aurélien chuckled, his dimples flashing as he turned onto his side, propping his head up with his free hand. “Yeah?”
You nodded. “I mean, this time yesterday, I was just hoping you’d even notice me at the game. Now I’m in your bed.”
That smirk made a reappearance, but his voice was soft when he said, “I noticed you way before the game, bébé.”
Your stomach flipped. “Yeah?”
“Of course,” he said easily. “You think I wasn’t watching whenever you posted on Instagram? When you DM’d me?”
Your face warmed. “You didn’t answer right away.”
He grinned, teasing. “Had to make you sweat a little.”
You scoffed, rolling your eyes. “Wow, so you really are a lion.”
“Gotta keep things interesting,” he mused. Then, more seriously, “But I was always gonna answer.”
Something about the way he said it made your heart squeeze. Like he wasn’t just saying it to make you feel good. Like, in some way, he’d been waiting for this too.
You swallowed. “And now that I’m here?”
Aurélien’s eyes darkened slightly, but there was something tender in his gaze as he squeezed your fingers. “Now,” he murmured, shifting closer, “I’m making sure you come back.”
Your breath caught, and before you could think of a response, he kissed you.
It was slow this time, unhurried, like he wanted to take his time tasting you. His lips moved against yours with an intoxicating rhythm, deepening the kiss little by little until you were completely lost in it. His hand came up to cup your jaw, thumb stroking over your cheek as he kissed you like he had all the time in the world.
And maybe he did. Maybe this wasn’t just for tonight.
Maybe, just maybe, this was only the beginning.
AurĂŠlien pulled back just enough to search your face, his lips still brushing against yours, his breath warm against your skin. His fingers traced slow, lazy patterns along your arm as he studied you with that knowing smirk that made your stomach flip.
“That song,” he murmured. “It’s about me, isn’t it?”
Your heart stuttered.
For a second, you thought about playing coy, maybe teasing him a little, but what was the point? He already knew. You could see it in the glint of amusement in his eyes, the confidence in his voice.
You sighed, defeated but grinning. “Yeah,” you admitted softly. “It’s about you.”
Aurélien chuckled, shaking his head like he’d known it all along. “I knew it,” he said, his voice rich with satisfaction. “You should write another one.”
You huffed out a laugh. “Another song?”
“Mm-hmm.” His fingers brushed down your back, tracing the curve of your spine. “One about tonight.”
Your breath hitched at the implication, at the way his voice had dipped lower, rougher.
You bit your lip. “Might have to.”
Aurélien grinned. “Good,” he murmured, kissing you again. “Make it a love song.”
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so-i-did-this-thing ¡ 3 days ago
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been thinking of investing in a bass pro shop hat to simultaneously get gendered correctly and avoid being clocked as trans... I live in a pretty conservative rural area so I figure if I dress like the local cis guys they'll think I'm one of them and act accordingly.
The only issue is I'm pre everything so my voice sounds like shit. If I talk they'll either clock me or assume I'm a kid but I can just not talk unless needed, right?
Do you think this is a good idea?
In this moment in history, we need a mix of visible and invisible trans people. There are many different roles to play when fighting fascism and not all are on the front lines.
I am in a support role right now, so am pretty stealth currently. And maybe that's what you need to ask yourself -- is anyone directly depending on you and how does that influence your plans?
It's also hard to answer your question because I don't know your experiences trying to pass in public, and if your current presentation to an outsider reads as "cis female" or "some kind of queer".
With all the kindness in my heart -- don't confuse gender euphoria with the ability to pass. Get some second opinions on your cishet cosplay. Take photos at unflattering angles, from the back and sides. I'm still unsettled at how my silhouette at certain angles clocks me.
You also need to decide if there is a point where you're safer off presenting as female. What you would do if you ever reach that point and what the consequences would be.
If this will be your first time presenting as male in public, you might want to wait a bit while the current chaos of the new admin settles. Things are highly unpredictable right now.
If you do attempt to pass like this, stay out of bathrooms and try to go out only during the day, ideally with cis friends. Drive safely. Avoid doing things that require showing your ID. You want to be invisible and be mistaken for a teenager.
If you get clocked, it's very likely you'll be taken for a lesbian, as so many transphobes still forget trans men exist. Which still may not lend you much safety if they're homophobic. Rehearse how you would respond in a confrontation.
It's always a risk, trying to pass in hostile areas. Because the retribution could be even worse once transphobes learn they have been "deceived".
It has to be your call. But put a lot of thought into it and practice where it's safest.
Good luck and take care.
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un-fwuit-un-fwog ¡ 3 days ago
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Hello, good morning/afternoon/evening/night. I'm the anon that requested for the platonic!dad Lilia vanrouge headcanon. I've finished reading it and I would love to request for the biological one! The adopted headcanon was amazing. And I also apologize for for not putting in my request with more thought 😅.
Thanks for the ask! I can totally do that! And don't worry about it, I was hoping to get to write both anyway <3
(I don't know if I'm thinking too far into it, but I wasn't sure if you wanted pre NRC or present, so I'm going with the same as last time)
!Platonic!Dad! Lilia Vanrouge x Biological Daughter
(Kinda a second part to This in a way)
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However it came to be; a one night stand, a past lover, or some freak magic accident, you were Lilia's one and only blood relative left. His darling daughter.
Don't get me wrong, Lilia loved Silver and Malleus more than anything, but it felt different looking at you and being able to sense his fae blood running through your veins.
When you were left to the single father's care it was after he had already dealt with a newborn dragon. He believe that as you were his own flesh and blood you'd surely be easier to care for, but oh how wrong he was.
If anything, you were MORE difficult to deal with because you were his own flesh and blood.
Lilia finally got a taste of his own medicine when you started imitating his pranks (how did you even get in such a high cabinet).
At least he understands your magic and can help you figure out how to control it.
He treats you virtually the same as if you were his adopted child, just with the fact that you have his magic in mind- . . .he looked away for one second, where'd you go?
One time, Lilia left you and Silver with a pre-teen Malleus for him babysit as he had something to attend to. Silver spent the whole time sleeping whilst you spent the whole time making malleus play games with you (he didn't mind, he was just happy to have a friend). Lillia came back to see you and Malleus reenacting the war with wooden animals Baur had carved for you (maybe he told you too many stories of his glory days).
Lilia still loves doing your hair- what's that? You want to do his hair?
The other generals keep their mouths shut, but their eyes are glued to the great Lilia Vanrouge and his messy, lopsided pigtails with bright pink and blue bows on each for the entire briefing.
You escaped the cottage once when he looked away to try and get Silver to eat his food, and he had no clue where you were for almost a day. He was freaking out and about to take his magearm and go on an all-out rampage when he got a letter from the queen saying you had 'made a delightfully unexpected visit to the castle for a playdate with Malleus.'
Lilia rushed over to the castle immediately, ready to scold you, but when he got there he couldn't bring himself to. Instead, he fell to his knees crying as he watched you and Malleus sleep softly: cuddled up to each other. The queen found him in this state and simply patted him on the back before recounting how he and her daughter had once pulled a very similar stunt back in their youth. (he has her recount any and all stories of him causing trouble as a child in order to hopefully have a leg up on any stunts you pull in the future)
Right when he thinks he knows how to handle anything you throw at him, you come home with an owl bear cub in toe asking tow. You recount the story of how you found it next to its unmoving mother, and he has no choice but to let you keep it.
When you tell him you want to name the owl bear 'Bear' he tries to argue with you that it's not a very good name, but you win. Bear it is.
Anytime you and Silver go out in the woods to play he sends Bear with you just in case.
Baur gets quite the shock when he comes to pick up his grandson from the cottage only to find him riding on the back of an owl bear as it chases you and silver (you were just playing tag).
He turns to the cottage to see what Lilia was planning to do about this only to see him casually. . .barbequing (if you can even call it that) in the garden and watching you all play. Baur ends up staying longer than expected, mostly to salvage whatever slop Lilia was making for his poor kids, but also to hear Lilia's explanation as to WHY IN THE GREAT SEVENS' NAMES THERE'S AN OWL BEAR PLAYING WITH THE KIDS.
The time finally comes for Lilia to head off to NRC with Malleus, Silver, and Sebek, but this time let's say (for the sake of being different that the other fic) that you somehow end up there as well. Lilia would have liked you to be in Diasomnia with him, but you instead end up going to Ramshackle with the prefect. This is an all-boys school after all, so the best place for you to be on campus is probably in the dorm with the only other female student. (That and Bear came with you and Ramshackle already has Grim so. . .)
There's no telling what trouble you'll get to in your time staying at NRC, but rest assured that Lilia will be there to help you out (whether that means getting you out of trouble or helping you cause more).
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neiptune ¡ 19 hours ago
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like real people do
cw: 2.8k wc, female reader, friends to lovers, literally black cat x labrador dynamic, you showed up one day and are still part of his life, it’s an axiom he would never expect to change. until one day you meet his brother for the first time and rin shits himself
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“We should hang out tomorrow. Are you free?”.
“No”.
You frown.
“Would you have said yes, if you were?”.
Rin takes a moment to reply.
“Probably not”.
The grin you offer right away doesn’t surprise him, if anything it makes him roll his eyes with fake exasperation.
“I love how you never change”.
He nudges your shoulder with his arm, hands buried in the pockets of an expensive coat.
“You’re annoying”.
“I know, it’s my whole thing. You kinda agreed to it when you accepted me as a friend”.
“I never did such thing. You showed up one day and never left”.
Your giggle echoes across the empty street and Rin finds himself basking in your usual affection, something he’s well aware he hardly deserves.
It’s true, though. One day, back in high school, you were assigned to the same group project with two other classmates and that’s when the information of being in the same class in the first place was presented to him. You talked too much and smiled too often but when it came to doing actual work, you turned into a weirdly serious, responsible student. Instantly, too. Which would’ve been an interesting aspect of your personality, if he so much as cared.
You both ended up being the only two putting in real work to finish the project but the only thing Rin could think of was that he was relieved his perfect grades could stay perfect despite the dead weight. Except, you didn’t leave him alone ever since, apparently happy (always way too happy) to have found a new friend. He doesn’t remember how many times, throughout his high school years, he had to repeat that you two were not friends. Over and over again, the deterrent had failed miserably.
Rin has kinda made peace with your presence in his life by now, despite adulthood and your careers playing a significant role in keeping you apart, whenever he visits his hometown you’re there and whenever you happen to be where he is, you insist on seeing him. Stubborn as he’s always been, in his own mind Rin stands his ground that there’s nothing tragically wrong in allowing you to consider him your friend, still. There’s also nothing particularly dramatic in letting himself indulge in someone else’s obstinate fondness.
You’re a good person, he knows that much. Patient, generous, always the first to offer help and the last to ask for anything. You’re stupid. And gullible. Way too easy to take advantage of. It’s why he, to this day, still keeps an eye on you, walks you home in the middle of the night, doesn’t shut the door like he’d do with anyone else when you show up uninvited to his house. Sometimes he brings you something too, little mementos from his travels that hold no real meaning, despite the way your eyes shine with wonder when he begrudgingly hands them to you.
Rin knows you like him. Or at least you used to, so many years ago. He remembers hearing you confessing the secret to one of your closest friends. You never really told him, a good person but still too proud to give him the satisfaction of rejecting you, stood by his side when no one else would put up with his pissy attitude, always disregarding your feelings. Even when he had girlfriends you were there, feigning nonchalance. Stupid. He remembers how he immaturely tried to get you to admit it, shared petty details of his dates, told you he thought he was falling in love with other girls. Your smile barely faltered.
Why did you do that to yourself all that time, he still wonders. But then again he’d have to ask himself why his impatience, or rather lack of understanding, led him to kiss you when you were both visiting your families for the holidays, back from college.
Rin remembers the snow, the umbrella you were holding trying to clumsily cover him too. He remembers you were babbling some nonsense about how proud you were of him, of his career, the way you always knew he was destined to great things, his blue lock jersey still stored safely in the back of your closet. Rin remembers the way he took your face in his hands and pressed his lips to yours, dry and chapped from the cold. Was that truly the only way to get you to shut up? He doesn’t know. He just knows he didn’t expect you to take a step back, thank him for walking you home. The kiss was never mentioned again, the following day you acted like it never happened and he was glad he could carry on without the burden of weird expectations. Well, almost completely glad.
He didn’t kiss you because he liked you or desired something as unnecessary as a relationship, he’s sure of that. He just wanted to, in that moment. A stupid whim. And if the urge of shutting you up in the softest way has possessed him multiple times after that day and throughout the years, out of mere curiosity or simple convenience, he’s never really admitted it to himself. 
You showed up one day, never left, are still part of his life. It’s an axiom he’d never expect to change. Perhaps he finds some comfort in it.
“You really can’t hang out tomorrow? ”, you’re doing that thing you always do when you’re disappointed, furrowed brows over big eyes that are rapidly losing their usual glow as you blink a few times. He sighs.
“I really can’t”.
“How long are you in town for?”.
“A few days”, he pauses for a second, then decides to concede, “we’ll have plenty of time”.
The way your lips immediately curl into a sweet smile almost makes him crack one too. Rin also loves how you never change.
“Oooh, you wanna hang out with me so bad!”.
“Shut up”.
“We’ll have plenty of time! Because I’m your best friend in the whole, entire world!”.
“Now you’re really pushing it”.
You laugh again, something tender settling over your features. He once more recognizes the affection in your gaze and has to look away.
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Rin has hated October 10 for as long as he can remember.
It wasn’t always like that, as a kid it was a special day he got to celebrate his favorite person on. His brother went from being his personal hero and best friend, to a stranger he couldn’t recognize, to an adult he tries to have a decent relationship with, now. Still, October 10 is a hassle. If Sae is in town, something he tries to do for their sake, their parents always insist on having a small birthday celebration at home.
His mother spends hours decorating the living room, orders a cake so big it would require at least ten additional guests, they have so many gifts ready and wrapped by the table. For the past few years, Rin has been getting his brother a gift too. Not exactly a peace offering but the promise of getting there, perhaps.
It infuriates him that Sae still acts perfectly normal around him, never hostile, indifferent at best. They barely talk to each other but Rin doesn’t want to spend his entire life seething, he doesn’t want for one single feeling to define him anymore. So he also accepts the birthday gifts his brother sends him on September 9.
It’s just a day, he mentally repeats, it will be over soon. But he doesn’t expect the doorbell to ring, everything has already been delivered and they didn't invite anyone.
Rin certainly doesn’t expect you, standing on his doorstep with a million dollar smile and clearly hiding something behind your back.
“What are you doing here?”, he’s frozen, in disbelief. You’re not supposed to be there.
“Surprise!”, you grin, “look what I finally found!”.
You’re suddenly holding something so close to his face he has to take a moment to focus to understand what he’s looking at. It’s a horror game, one he’s looked everywhere for because they don’t sell those anymore. Rin only mentioned it once but of course you mentally took note and conducted your own, personal research. It must’ve costed you a fortune. You’re such an idiot.
“It’s not a good time”, he takes a step back, hoping you’ll get the hint and do the same. Your smile falls.
“I know. I just wanted to drop this off. Here”, you hand him the neatly packed gift. Rin takes it, then meets your gaze for a second. He wants to say something, apologize, but you’ve already turned your back to him and are quickly granting his wish of being left alone. He asks himself how much patience you have left, how close you are to abandoning him and his asshole ways for good.
“Who are you?”.
Rin freezes a second time, the voice behind him so close and oddly interested. You stop in your tracks, whip around to look at someone who isn’t him. Something hard flashes across your features but it’s quickly whisked away when you offer one of your usual, polite smiles.
“No one, I was just passing by”.
Something inside Rin cracks. No one? You can hardly ever shut up about being his friend. 
Sae hums.
“You should come in. There’s extra cake”.
When their mom catches sight of you, she also invites you in and there’s really no turning back from that. You’re too well mannered, too acquainted with his family to refuse. So you indulge them.
From the kitchen, he observes something he never thought would (or should) happen. Sae, the most infuriatingly detached, impassive person on the planet, is sitting next to you on the couch, where you’re making polite conversation. He’s listening. Rin knows he’s listening because he keeps his eyes on you, stance relaxed. Who knows what nonsense you’re rambling about this time, unfinished cake in the paper plate balanced on your knees. He says something, you chuckle. Rin focuses on his own unfinished cake, suddenly nauseous.
All these years, this is the one thing he didn’t want to happen, you meeting his brother. It’s petty and childish and Rin isn’t even quite sure why the desire to keep you from him has burned ardently this entire time but the fact that his efforts have vanished in the space of one afternoon brings a strange weariness.
By the time you excuse yourself, his parents are begging you to stay over for dinner. You refuse, thank them, thank Sae the most and wish him the happiest birthday. He dismisses your formality with the vague wave of a hand, says he hopes to meet you again. You smile sweetly.
“There’s no need”.
Rin ignores your objection similarly to how you ignored him the entire afternoon, finishes buttoning up his coat instead. He always walks you home and today will be no exception.
The silence between you two is so uncharacteristic it irritates him, to the point of affliction. Are you that upset with him? Ah, the magic must’ve finally flickered out.
“So, how was it?”, he spitefully pushes, “meeting the legendary brother”.
You keep your gaze on the street.
“It was okay”.
Rin scoffs.
“Just okay? You two really hit it off”.
“He was kind to me”.
“I’m sure he was”.
You finally stop in your tracks to look at him.
“Just because we’re friends it doesn’t mean you get to be an asshole all the time, you know”.
Rin stops too, lips parted, breath condensating into a tiny cloud by his mouth. The serious look you’re fixing him with makes his shoulders slump ever so slightly.
“I’m sorry”, he murmurs. Your gaze softens and he hates it, how easy it is for you to cut him some slack.
“Can you tell me what’s really wrong, Rin?”.
He feels like throwing up.
“Nothing is wrong”.
You hum, pensive, take the time to kick a tiny rock with the tip of your boot.
“I really think you should give yourself some grace. You deserve some peace”.
“What’s that supposed to mean?”.
“It means you’re so focused on protecting yourself from imaginary threats, you can’t see”.
“See what?”.
You offer a sad smile.
“How bright you shine”.
Rin is so taken aback he doesn’t know what to say, surprise paralyzing his entire body. He hasn’t felt like this in a while, perhaps years. It’s not fair that you have access to such a vulnerable side of him, it’s not fair that he can suddenly sense a weird lump in his throat.
“I don’t shine-”, he spits the word out, disgusted.
You’re usually very careful about his boundaries, whether they’re a hoax or not. But this time? You do something you’ve never done before, roughly take his face in your cold hands to make sure he keeps his gaze on you instead of avoiding it like a coward.
“You shine, Rin. I’m so tired of you being the only one refusing to see it. You’re the most resilient, talented, hardworking person I know. You did good. But the challenge is over, there is no war anymore, you don’t have to persist in this stubborn seclusion”, your eyes are suddenly wet, tears precariously collecting in your lash line, “you get to rest, now. Please, be proud of yourself and rest. There’s nothing to be on your guard against”.
He doesn’t remember his heart ever squeezing as painfully in his chest before, the urge to take your face in his hands making the pads of his fingers itch. He doesn’t remember the last time he came so close to let a few tears fall.
He’s gonna take you too. Just like he takes everything from me.
The thought takes his breath away for a moment. He feels your thumb gently stroke his cheek.
“You’re the legendary brother to me, anyway”, you smile, then sniffle.
Has he split himself wide open for you or are you simply that good at reading him? Rin can feel his hands shake when they fist the fabric of your plush jacket.
“Why are you telling me this?”, he can barely recognize the desperation vibrating in his own voice, “why do you even put up with me?”.
You blink a few times, astonished. Then smile again, warm and bright like the sun. Oh, he doesn’t shine, you do.
“Because I love you, obviously”.
And Rin doesn’t have to ask, doesn’t have to wonder what you mean. He knows. He’s known all this time.
“Why did you never tell me?”.
“Because you wouldn’t have let me do it in peace”, you chuckle, “you don’t like me like that so you wouldn’t have let me love you. As if I needed something in return. As if loving you as a friend couldn’t possibly be enough, anyway”.
His fingers are hurting from how tightly he’s still fisting the fabric of your jacket. It feels like his insides are exploding with a million different emotions and he doesn’t have nearly enough time to interpret them. But does he really need that, after all? Time. He’s known you for so long. 
“Stop putting up a fight, silly”, you let go of his face but flick his forehead, to which he grimaces, surprised, “let me love you. I’m your best friend in the whole, entire world after all! Who cares about your stupid brother? No wait, that came out mean, I just meant I care more about you than-”
Rin’s sudden embrace is suffocating, you’re pressed against him so tightly you genuinely struggle taking a single breath. You don’t remember him ever hugging you, the most noteworthy intentional contact you can recall is his arm around your shoulders when you insisted on taking a cute selfie, once. Every other hug, you had always initiated. His arms were always loose around you, cautious, despite his forehead often resting on your shoulder.
His clothes smell nice. He smells nice. You close your eyes, bask in a warmth so strange yet familiar. You don’t think you’ll ever love someone the way you love him.
“You’re so stupid”, Rin murmurs against your neck. With a smile, you nuzzle your face further into his chest.
“So I’ve been told”.
He thinks his heart might be seconds away from slamming itself free from his ribcage.
“Can you tell me again?”.
“What, that I don’t care about your brother? Sure, fuck Itoshi Sae. Oh no, that was also way too mean, don’t tell him I said-”
Rin pulls away abruptly, hands kept on your shoulders to keep you there or maybe to steady himself. You shut your mouth, don’t comment damp cheeks dusted with pink. It may be the most vulnerable you’ve ever seen him.
“Not that, you idiot”, his pitch is gentle, with a hint of amusement. One of his hands cradles your cheek, thumb gently skimming over your lips.
“I love you”, it comes out less bold now, timid. Something melts in his chest all the same.
“Will you pretend it never happened, if I kiss you now?”.
Your exhale is shaky.
“No”.
All these years and this is the first time you’re seeing Itoshi Rin truly, openly smile. The sight does something funny to your stomach.
“Good”.
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naehoonx ¡ 2 days ago
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" First Kiss " - caleb [ oneshot ]
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→ SUMMARY: since you met caleb again in skyhaven many things had changed. why was your heart beating so fast whenever you were near him? why were your hands getting sweaty whenever he got closer? and why did it bother you so much that he never wanted to make the first move?
→ GENRE: fluff; awkward; innocent; shoujo like love.
→ RATING: 15+
→ NOTE: i started playing LADS last year in december while i was suffering a bad writing block. first i fell deeply in love with zayne but the moment caleb was released .. i resonated with him more? i love the childhood friends to lovers trope + the angst the both of them embodied. the losing and finding each other while still keeping secrets from another. i hope you enjoy it!
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♡.°₊ˎ SONG FOR THIS ONESHOT
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it was another normal day in skyhaven for you. caleb and you were fighting again, over the most dumb thing, like always. maybe that was a perk of being childhood friends for so long but it was really draining at the same time. you didnt even knew what triggered it this time. the only words which left your mouth were " maybe you shouldnt come with me to this mission." yeah, thinking back to those words, you needed to admit that it was dumb to speak them out loud. considering how caleb could be whenever it concerned your safety. another huff left his lips as he leaned against the kitchen counter, not understanding why you're not wanting him by your side. without him every mission posed as a threat to your safety in caleb's eyes and somehow it irritated you. why was he so overprotective of you and why did it bother you so much that he never spoke it out loud. is it so hard to tell you that he's worried about you?
"you act like a damn child caleb. i can take care of my own and you know that!" your voice was already strained from all the arguing as you looked over at him.
caleb wasnt facing you, instead he was staring at the kitchen counter as he clutched his hand against the smooth surface. you noticed early on that this was some kind of habit of him.
"i know that you can take care of yourself but thats not the issue here" "then what is the issue here? Caleb you never tell me whats wrong, im always .. left with some weird puzzle pieces whenever we fight"
another frustrated huff left his lips as you could see how his fingernails dig into the flesh of his palm. he would hurt himself like this again but at the same time you remembered that he really cant. thanks to that mechanical arm of his, he cant feel anything beside immense pain. so digging his nails inside his palm wont do much damage to his body.
"caleb please" another try to press him to be honest with you and still, he kept looking away from you. carefully you took a step towards him before he finally turned his head into your direction. that was the first time you could see the colour red creeping up his cheeks. was he that angry with you?
"what do you want to hear from me Y/N? Tell me? I already told you that i wont let you go alone there!" "but why not! you never give me a reason!"
frustrated you lifted your arms over your head before you turned around on your heel. before you could take one step forward, into the living room, someones arm wrapped around your waist; pushing you back. it didnt took you long until you realized that caleb stood right behind you, his broad chest pressing against your back. for a moment your breath hitched at the same time your heart nearly bursts inside your chest.
"what do you want to hear Y/N ... tell me" caleb's voice was low as he leaned down to whisper against your ear. his grip tightening more around your waist. making it impossible to escape. your body suddenly starts to mold perfectly against his own. its like the two of you were made for each other. "tell me" goosebumps appeared on your arms as calebs lips nearly brushed against your ear. your whole body freezed on the spot as his hand over from your waist to your stomach. what was happening right now?
"i- ... i just want that you are being honest with me.. you always tell me i shouldnt fight alone and that i should rely on you more but .. why? You know im strong .. " another strong tuck forced your back against his chest. you didnt knew that being this close would be even possible. carefully you put your hand on calebs arm, the arm which held you firm ... the same arm which cant feel any warmth anymore.
now you heard calebs breath hitch. what were you two doing here? once there was a time when the two of you got along well and rarely fought with each other. now the both of you sometimes didnt even knew how to behave around each other. one month ago you suddenly became hyper aware of caleb as a man. suddenly you didnt saw him as some kind of childhood friend anymore .. there was something more whenever you looked at him or stole glanzes while he was working. deep down you had hoped that caleb feels the same way but he still kept treating you like the little girl he once took care of.
as you were deep inside your thoughts, caleb spun you around so you were looking up at him now. his ears were red too now, it looked really adorable. there it was again, that look in his eyes you couldnt put a name on it. Caleb looked helpless as he just kept staring at you, his lips parting just slightly as he wanted to say something. you knew better, he was holding back. probably all the things he wanted to tell you or something else. slowly your hand reached out to touch his cheek. his skin felt hot underneath your fingertips as you slid down to his chin.
"caleb please .. we cant keep fighting like this .. tell me already why you're so scared to let me go alone" pleading was seen in your eyes and maybe thats the reason why he finally broke his silence.
for a short moment caleb closed his eyes as your fingertips still lingered on his chin.
"its hard to put all the things i feel into words .. I- i want you to rely on me more because if you doesnt .. i feel like you will let go of me and walk away ... at the same time i dont want to lock you up here ... knowing damn well you are your own person. dont look at me like that Y/N ... i know you are strong and probably dont need me for anything but .. whenever i think about it .. you not needing me it feels like .. a knife pierces through my heart and i- "
before he could continue with his rambling you put a finger against his lips. all those words were enough for you. he literally opened his heart for you even if it was just a tiny little bit. caleb needed you, he was scared of losing you .. so it was fine to hope right?
biting down on your lip you put both hands against his cheeks. the confused look in his eyes was something you learned to adore. caleb always looked so cute whenever he didnt knew what you were up to now. slowly you got on your tip toes just to be a bit closer to him. your noses nearly touched as caleb took another shaky breath but he didnt dared to speak. if he was too scared to take the next step in your relationship you would do it. even if your heart is nearly bursting at the moment.
another hitched breath as your lips finally got in contact with his own, from that moment on everything was just a blurr. calebs arms wrapped tightly around your body as he captured your lips in a desperate manner. it felt like he was starving all those years and finally got to eat something again. from time to time he broke the kiss for a short moment, just to look at you with those eyes. eyes which were full of yearning, yes yearning. all those years he had looked at you like this and you never noticed it before. the world around you two didnt mattered anymore as caleb, once more, pressed his lips against yours. his own breathing was shaky as his body forced you near the sofa. even if you were stumbling a bit his strong arms were ready to catch you.
the moment the back of your knees touched the sofa, your butt fell onto the soft fabric. this time you got a better look at calebs face as he was hovering over you. one of his arms was placed beside your head against the sofa, so he wouldnt crash on top of you.
"who thought .. you could be this bold y/n .. "
a smirk formed on your face as you wrapped both arms around his neck, pulling him closer again "well ... you took too long caleb. a hunter wont wait forever for its prey."
the last thing you saw was a smiling caleb before he dived back in to capture your lips. this time in a much softer and tender kiss.
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dissolvedprincess ¡ 2 days ago
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Talk me through it
✷ CW : 18+, smut, vaginal fingering, dirty talk, car sex, a bit of fluff if you squint, first date
꒷︶꒷꒥꒷‧₊˚꒷︶꒷꒥꒷‧₊˚ ꒷︶꒷꒥꒷‧₊˚꒷︶꒷꒥꒷‧₊˚ ꒷︶꒷꒥꒷‧₊˚꒷︶
Your heart was beating out of your chest. Rattling inside your ribcage, threatening to burst out; pleading to be surrendered to his hands.
“I had fun.” You smiled, mentally patting yourself on the back for even daring to say yes to this in the first place. Both of you have been tiptoeing around each other for months. Always in fear of ruining this. A bond that has been tested many times before and it always comes out tighter than ever, yet it never turns into anything beyond a friendship.
He lets his hand off the steering wheel, his car parked neatly on your driveway. He turns his head, eyes too shy to meet yours but eventually; he relented. It’s so funny how easy it always used to be to look at each other.
“Me too.” He reached over to squeeze your hand.
“Can i-“
“Can i-“
You both laughed at the same time, hand pulled away to cover the blush that appeared on your cheeks.
“Oh my god hah! i’m so sorry Josh, you go first. What were you gonna ask me?”, You tilt your head to the side; knowing the fact that it makes him flustered whenever you do that.
“No no no, it’s okay. I- I just wanted to know if- um- can i walk you to your door?”
“What! Of course you can, why are you so nervous about walking me to my door?”
He looked down while shaking his head, smiling. “You don’t know the effect you have on me.”
“Mmhm okay.”, you playfully roll your eyes.
“What were you gonna ask?”, his tone curious and…expectant?
A tingle went down your spine, there’s no more fear or doubt anymore; just excitement. You lean forward, not too close but close enough to tease him with the idea of something thrilling.
“Can i kiss you?”
You surprise yourself with how steady you sounded, expertly masking how all over the place you feel inside.
His eyes widen, mouth agape.
“Yeah..Yeah of course you can.”
The music playing in the background faded as you met in the middle, it all came down to this. The two of you were finally properly communicating with each other, teeth clashing and tongues meeting. A moan escaped you, further egging him on. You felt his hand tangling itself into your hair, your own moving to cup his jaw affectionately.
Then he reluctantly pulled away despite your protests. A string of saliva stretched and broke.
“Oh josh-“, you moaned. He was kissing and sucking on your neck. Leaving marks of ownership that you will look at tomorrow with pride. It felt so good, you rub your legs together to ease the tension. You feel so wet, desperate to have him inside you.
He trailed up to whisper into your ear, “Does it feel good? Do you like it?”, sneaking a little nibble.
You were lightheaded, you didn’t even remember if you answered properly or not. One thing led to another, then you were sitting on the backseat; panties off. Somehow it felt much dirtier to get fingered by your high school best friend/crush while being fully clothed. You even still had your sneakers on.
Josh had his arm around your neck, pillowing you; occasionally stroking the side of your face with his thumb. You found it hot to see him with his sleeves rolled half way, so he could finger you properly.
“You’re so beautiful. I could never get tired of you”, he said while he had three fingers inside your cunt. His thumb expertly stroked your clit, just as affectionate as the thumb on your cheek.
The moans you let out were embarrassing to say the least, but they don’t compare to how embarrassing your cunt sounded. Wet and sticky, drowning out the radio.
“I can’t believe how wet i’m making you feel. You’re making a mess in my car.”
“Ohh baby, i can’t ah shit- help it. Fuck right there fuckkk.” you whimper.
You feel dizzy and overwhelmed, his blue eyes pierced through you. He sometimes leans close to tease you. Promising a sweet kiss, only to keep you at a distance. You shamelessly stuck out your tongue, too horny to feel any ounce of shame.
“Fuck look at you. You’re so fucking sexy.”, he whispered breathlessly. His eyes trailed down your body, stopping at your warm middle.
He fully pulled his fingers out slowly, you let out a soft whimper.
“Patience baby. I just wanted you to look at how much you’re soaking my fingers.”, he showed you his fingers, soaked and webbed with cum. This was turning you on so much.
“My.good.fucking.girl.” he punctuated the words with deep and rough thrusts back inside your cunt.
“Ah baby! Fuck, i wanna cum so bad Josh. Your fingers feel so fucking good.”, you look at him with low lids and furrowed brows. “Please..make me cum.”
“Fuck. I wanna feel you around my dick so bad, you’re sucking me in so much.”
“Please!”, the image of you riding him flashed through your head, further pushing you closer and closer to an orgasm.
“Next time i’m gonna eat you out till your fucking legs shake. Then I’m gonna fuck you and cum inside this sweet pussy.”, his breath hot in your ear.
“You want that?”
You answered with a high pitched yes. Your hand wrapped around his wrist to ground you.
“Then cum for me.”, tone demanding, his fingers jack hammering inside you.
You squeezed your eyes shut, tears rolled down your face. You weren’t even sure how loud you screamed. His fingers stilled inside you, feeling your cunt tighten and spasm. Your body instantly felt spent. Little did you know, Josh had his eyes fixed on you the whole time, never wanting to miss anything.
Your eyes slowly opened, “Josh…” you cried. You never want him to stop looking at you this way.
“Yeah?”, he responded with a sweet and loving smile.
You took a few deep breaths to regain control of your body again. The heat running through your body felt different now. Instead of consuming you whole; in a heartbeat, it spread slowly. Warming up your chest.
You were close to crying, the emotions rising up to your throat.
“I love you so much”, you whispered.
“I love you too, you’re everything to me.”, he finished with a kiss to your forehead.
꒷︶꒷꒥꒷‧₊˚꒷︶꒷꒥꒷‧₊˚ ꒷︶꒷꒥꒷‧₊˚꒷︶꒷꒥꒷‧₊˚ ꒷︶꒷꒥꒷‧₊˚꒷︶
Thank you so much to @slapthosewilliessilly for requesting ‘Josh talking you through it’. I had to expand it a little more to stretch out my writing muscles. Hope you like it! 🥹
Also ahh i’m so nervous about sharing my first kind of long-form fic…😖
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hergurlc ¡ 3 days ago
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—MOONCOVEY—
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Don’t mind me as I yap away my feelings about MOONCOVEY in season2 of XO Kitty cuz I can’t stop watching their arc and their slow burn or hold it in anymore🥹😅😂
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Kitty and Minho are starting to finally align themselves with their feelings for each other but their timeline is off so the timing just needs to be right for the both of them and their situations which I think is so close but also not quite yet. Both their feelings are clear(at least to the us) yet very complicated and scary in a vulnerable type of way. They’ve been maneuvering and tip toeing around their feelings, being considerate and supportive of each other while also continuing their good banter and protecting their bonded friendship.
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Ultimately this is Kitty’s story and journey and we get to see many things play out thru the lens and perspective of Kitty and girrrrl has been through just A LOT. She has all the right to find herself and be herself in the way she wants. Her life may be chaotic and she may go about things in a chaotic way but everything she does is ultimately out of the big of her heart. She values family, connection, her friends and she loves love and wants that for everyone she cares about including herself (and Minho as we’ve seen in both seasons is someone attentive enough to know that and values that). She can give to so many people but that can also hurt her cuz not everyone can give the same to her as we’ve seen so far.
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For Kitty, her feelings for Minho took time. It built up when she didn’t even know it. I think his plane confession did do something to her but we all know she had way too much to sort thru to really try and accept that. However, with time, she recognizes how much he’s been there for her even at her most vulnerable and she wants to do the same for him. She got worried and protective when Stella put him and his family in danger. She wanted to look out for him as a friend but then ended up getting jealous. She was so bothered by their fight to the point that the distance made her miss him. When she realizes her feelings, she doesn’t want to hurt him and she’s hesitant, ‘repressing’ and ‘terrified’ to put herself out there when things are still so complicated and especially when his heart and mind aren’t in the best place after everything that happened with Stella, etc.
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Kitty is someone who has a hard time figuring out her own true feelings but when she does, she ultimately will always go with her heart and I don’t think it really hit her until Minho walked away after their hug at the end there and her heart was pounding outside of her chest. It’s probably just me but that scene felt symbolic and after everything they’ve been thru, I could feel like she felt a little pain at the thought of either 1.)Losing him, 2).Not seeing him, 3).Not having him around or 4).All of the above and that’s when her heart jumped into action of asking him if she can join him. It’s subtle yet safe and very Kitty coded. If one little fight caused her to miss him, imagine losing him all together. Honestly, I’d love to see Kitty do the chase now. She needs to confess and align their timeline before it’s too late cuz girl was about to be too late if she didn’t stop him!!
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Minho..oh our Moon Minho. He holds a strong front and can go with the flow but he’s been through so much emotionally and internally too. He’s tried to move on but he literally loves Kitty. It’s clear as day. He’s held back and tried to figure out on his own how to be okay and move past his feeling but the truth is, he gave his heart to her a while ago and it never really came back. He loves and accepts her as her even when they’re in a banter or when he’s there just as a friend or when he’s mad at her for overstepping.
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He’s soo protective of her and will do anything to support and help her without crossing the line. He’s been hesitant and careful of his feelings bc from his POV it’s one sided and she doesn’t feel the same. I think he’s also taking her words about ‘thinking twice before doing anything impulsive’ to heart which is respectable of him and his growth (but pretty ironic of Kitty cuz she’s almost always impulsive on a lot of things😂). He’s already admitted his feelings once(or twice) and even tho he doesn’t know she’s truly developed feelings for him too, he doesn’t want to put her and himself (and maybe even Dae) in another difficult (or heartbreak) situation. We see him at the end there taking those ‘long walks’, thinking about things, clearing his head and basically deciding to start fresh by swearing off relationships and joining his dad and brother for the summer etc. yet (at least to me) every time I watch that last scene; the way he was and the way he kept looking at her just felt almost sad or solemn. I could dig into it foreverr but some of his smiles were smiles just to smile and right before walking away he takes a slight breath and it’s like he had concluded he loves her but has to let her go(romantically). That is until she stops him to join him and we’re all left to imagine for ourselves. But like Sangheon said in an interview, it’s also something Minho wouldn’t just say no to and he’d just go with the flow….and this is where I wish we had Minho’s lens and perspective cuz I bet his feelings are so jumbled, happy, confused but like didn’t you also just spend days walking the gardens to clear your mind?? I need to know!!!
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Anyway, one last thing I will say about the ending scene of S2 is that we’re very lucky it gave us more hope for Kitty and Minho than leaving it with confusion, questions or frustrations. We can still naturally have those feelings but the screen could have gone dark with her watching him walk away or right after she said “maybe it’s not our time” but no, even tho Kitty may have been terrified of her own feelings the writers/producers gave us hope by having her continue her train of thought and going after what her heart wanted(to be/go with him). It was just enough butterflies to lead into a season 3 but if for some odd reason it doesn’t get renewed, that ending (in my opinion) would have still been a happy ending too.
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mysterialistic ¡ 3 days ago
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Review/Ramble on Yingdu and Overall Thoughts
Okay, first of all, I think the fandom needs to chill a bit, especially on Twitter/X, because some people are overdramatizing the criticism from others. Criticizing a piece of media doesn’t mean you hate it, nor does it mean it’s bad—it just means it didn’t fully meet your expectations, and you have a different opinion. It’s as simple as that. Of course, I believe criticism should always come from an objective standpoint, not just for the sake of complaining.
Having said, let’s start rambling!
Yingdu had an amazing start. Those first few minutes, transitioning from the basketball game straight into the scene of Cheng Xiaoshi’s death, were so well done. Overall, the first episode was fantastic—the perfect mix of drama and tension. It answered some of our lingering questions before bringing us back to the Season 1 format, where they tackled individual cases, only for it to all build up to the arc’s main conflict. I won’t go into every single episode since that would make this way too long, but I had to highlight episode 1 because it was my favorite.
There were several aspects of these episodes that I really enjoyed. Cheng Xiaoshi and Lu Guang’s bond was portrayed so well—every little moment between them, every dialogue exchange—it perfectly showed why these two are so willing to risk their lives for each other. I looked forward to seeing their interactions every week, and I was never disappointed.
Xia Fei was also a great addition, and I’m glad they didn’t kill off his character like many people theorized, because he has so much potential. I really enjoyed his complexity—he’s a spy, but he has his own morals and values. He dislikes Liu Xiao, yet he has a close bond with Vein despite his odd personality. He’s clearly intelligent, and I think that will really shine in Season 3. He already seems to suspect something, and I have no doubt he’ll get to the bottom of it. Right now, he’s angry and confused about what happened to Vein, convinced that someone killed him. But how will he react if (or when) he finds out that Vein was the one who initially killed Cheng Xiaoshi—one of his other friends, and probably the only truly innocent one? And don’t even get me started on how he’ll react when he finds out that Lu Guang tried to kill Vein or that Vein is still alive. I’m excited to see where this goes.
That said, I was a little disappointed that we didn’t get to see much of Vein and Liu Xiao. We mostly just saw what we already knew—two shady guys with their own agenda, pretending to be friendly. As an introduction, it was fine, but considering how much attention the promotional material gave them, I really thought we’d see more. Still, I don’t have a huge issue with it since they’ll obviously play a bigger role in Season 3. Liu Xiao, Vein, Li Tianchen, and possibly Xia Fei—a group of unstable individuals as antagonists… well, good luck, Lu Guang!
Now, something that does bother me about Yingdu is the inconsistencies between its plot and what we’ve seen in Seasons 1 and 2. For me, this was the laziest part of the writing, because no, Link Click isn’t flawless. In fact, no piece of media is. But in Link Click’s case, some of the flaws were painfully obvious. With every episode that aired, I kept thinking, “okay, this has to be an alternate timeline”, because so many little details just didn’t fit with the main storyline. The most obvious one is how Cheng Xiaoshi awakened his powers—he did it on his own, yet in Season 1, it was shown that he didn’t know he could do this. That makes absolutely no sense unless he has selective amnesia, which is definitely not the case lol. As for the inconsistencies with his parents, that could at least be explained by the promise he made to his mother to “not get involved any further.” He clearly remembers that promise and is likely just keeping everything he learned a secret.
Speaking of parents… Damn, Cheng Xiaoshi’s parents are awful lmao. I hated how his father acted like he was the victim, justifying his actions with, “yes, I abandoned my child, but now I take care of other children to make up for my mistakes.” That’s just… bad parenting. I actually made a whole analysis about it in another post. And then there’s Cheng Xiaoshi’s mother. The way she dismissed her son’s feelings and abandonment issues with a casual “oh yeah, it was wrong of me not to say goodbye, but who cares? That’s in the past” felt so off. The entire scene with her was weird—the humor felt misplaced. I was expecting something more emotional, more dramatic—anything but this. But based on what I’ve seen, almost no one liked her, so if the creators were hoping we’d find her eccentricity endearing, this introduction definitely wasn’t the best. Since Season 1, we’ve been repeatedly shown how deeply this abandonment affected Cheng Xiaoshi, and this is the reunion we got? It was… underwhelming.
Now, something I really, really loved was how they handled Lu Guang in this arc. From start to finish, it was just so good—his reaction when he first saw Cheng Xiaoshi again, his nightmares and PTSD, the way he carefully planned everything to manipulate events and create change. But my absolute favorite part? How morally gray he is. He planned and actually succeeded in killing Vein, eliminating the threat (though he’s definitely going to freak out when he finds out Vein is still alive). That cold smile? The scene where his hands moved like he was pulling the strings of a puppet? The way he said, “I hope we’ll never see each other again”? PERFECT. I’ve always said I wanted Lu Guang’s motivations and actions to not be entirely good. He comes across as someone selfish, willing to sacrifice others if it means protecting the people he loves—because he has the power and the knowledge to do it, and he wants his happy ending. Such a good character, I swear.
Of course, I wasn’t expecting every single question to be answered in Yingdu—that would be ridiculous lol. But I’m satisfied that the plot is finally moving forward. They gave us a piece of the puzzle—Cheng Xiaoshi’s parents, the origin of his powers, the antagonists’ apparent goal (some sort of notebook?), and hints at what we can expect in Season 3. That said, my biggest fear is that Link Click will lose its essence—the powerful message from Season 1 about how they shouldn’t intervene in the natural flow of time, no matter how painful it is, because the past and future should be left alone. Based on what Lu Guang said about the butterfly effect, we can argue that time itself is like another character—a force that, no matter how much they try to change things, always corrects itself somehow, some way. Honestly, I’m not entirely sure what kind of ending I want for Link Click, but right now, I just hope it makes sense, that it isn’t forced, and that it unfolds naturally.
And… that’s all I have to say for now.
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slytherinshua ¡ 2 days ago
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➷ CUPID SOCIETY PT.2 ( 엔시티 위시 )
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      summary . . . nct wish maknae line as cupids in training!!
genre fluff , cupid au , headcanons , nct wish maknae line x reader   cw ryo is a menace™️ as usual , food mention , cheek kiss in saku's , not proofread   wc 946   request no   note so apparently my brain got to work faster than i expected hehe so here's the maknae line ones!! hyung line version here   net @kstrucknet @chrimatanet
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KIM DAEYOUNG ミ 김대영
there aren’t many cupids on campus that use their magic through music
although a long-lasting form of love spells were through song, there’s barely a single cupid who knows how to perform the type of magic
daeyoung is one of the few still fascinated by the form
through the rich notes of a song or the gentle tone of notes on a piano
when done just right, one’s magic could flow through the music 
and love could blossom forth right from the song
while other students focused on the accuracy of their arrows, brewing new potions, or cooking their magic into new recipes, daeyoung is cooped up in the music room
there’s only one piano left in the school
one that had been around and preserved for generations
whenever the boy plays it, he can feel the lingering magic of many cupids before him
the ability to charm anyone who heard his song
the satisfaction it brings to hear such beautiful melodies produced through the keys and his magic flowing in harmony
it captures daeyoung’s very soul
the music room soon became his 
all the teachers know he is the only student who ever plays the piano
the only one who ever spends time in the old room
while the campus is teeming with young rambunctious cupids, there’s one quiet boy who keeps to himself and his music
but one day as he’s on his way to the piano after lunch, his usual routine, he hears the melody of a song from the end of the hallway
curious, daeyoung creeps closer
he’d never met another cupid who played an instrument
but as he peers through the window of the room, he sees you seated at the piano, picking out a simple melody
and there he stays, listening to you play
a smile growing on his face and his heart starting to pound unknowingly 
maybe song magic wasn’t as forgotten as daeyoung had thought
and maybe he was starting to feel the effects of such magic on himself 
HIROSE RYO ミ 廣瀬遼
ryo has a reputation at the cupid society
he’s the master trickster, the ultimate jokester, the unrivaled menace on campus
and you? you’re his famed sidekick
best friends, inseparable, and equally as known for getting into trouble
there’s nothing ryo loves more than to see the teachers get headaches from all his shenanigans 
and the best part?
you and him always seem to get away with it
with your quick wits and unlimited connections through students, you have your ways of gaining endless entertainment 
with all the cupid magic around, it’s a given that the young students around will want to explore their abilities
and after seeing some of the more experienced cupids make people fall in love with them at will, you decide you also want to try
ryo gets in on it as well and it becomes a friendly competition with a bet on the line 
who can make someone fall in love with them with their cupid magic first?
although the idea is simple, the process proves difficult for ryo
especially with his beginner cupid magic, still in his second year of training
his spells go wrong, his potions blow up in his face, and his arrows all seem to miss
but he’s not one to give up yet
the entire school has heard about the bet by now 
with everyone on their guard it becomes even harder to find someone to make fall in love with him
each student he approaches just dismisses him
and the amount of protective charms against love cast around him is off the charts high
maybe he just needs someone who doesn’t expect it
so ryo decides that he’ll make you fall in love with him
and it seems like his plan was genius
you, totally unsuspecting, fall right into ryo’s love magic
the boy wins the bet and the secrets to love all in one day
FUJINAGA SAKUYA ミ 藤永咲哉
within the first week of his attendance this boy somehow manages to get multiple love bites snuck into his food
the effects of them upon consumption were immediate
except usually when one eats a love candy, their feelings manifest for a single person
the problem sakuya has is he has no idea who he is in love with
he ate too many at once
the symptoms are there: the racing heart, the flushed cheeks, the stammering, the butterflies
he feels like he’s in love but the feelings aren’t associated with anyone at all
you, being sakuya’s close friend, have no choice but to search for a solution to his problem along with ryo
with a little research from the library, you diagnose sakuya to be lovesick
overdosed on love candies and now the symptoms are overwhelming, refusing to go away
and while it was a funny turn of events at first, it gets tiring fast
especially to saku who would do anything to get his heart to stop racing all the time :(
you and ryo decide to try possible cures
from solitary confinement to trying to get sakuya to actually fall in love, nothing seemed to work
until one day when you had a brilliant idea taken straight from all the classic old fairy tales
a kiss
ryo, of course refusing to kiss his best friend, throws the task to you while sakuya sits there flustered the entire time
you muster yourself to press a kiss to his cheek
you didn’t expect it to work, and neither did ryo or sakuya
but the indicators of his condition seem to slowly fade away
not completely, but at least to a manageable amount 
the new problem is, now sakuya can’t stop thinking about the kiss
nct wish taglist (bolded could not be tagged): @kangtaehyunzzz,, @eternalgyu,, @lexeees,, @nyukyusnz,, @planetkiimchi,,
@haecien,, @talkingsaxy,, @thesunsfullmoon,, @hursheys,, @mjupis,,
@lilly-cherry7,, @kpopandbookschild,, @taroddori,, @lexeees,, @voikiraz,,
@xikskrrrs,, @cupidslovearrows,, @yvshi
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willowlevulett ¡ 11 hours ago
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I have no idea if I'll finish this but here's a little drabble that's been in my drafts for weeks.
-
The freezing air nips painfully at his bare arms as Jayce slides his balcony door closed, his lighter heavy in his hand.
"I would suggest you review and give the board alternative suppliers or materials by Monday. You would do well to remember why we all do this, Jayce"
He sighs, sinking into the frost covered cushion of a rickety lounge chair. He breathes through the ache of the cold, through the panic that still prickled up his spine even after all these years. It was a game he played. It was dumb and he kept his mouth shut about it. How long could he last in the cold before his nervous system became convinced he was freezing to death all over again. The answer everytime was not long. He slides his jacket roughly over his shoulders.
He was a weak man after all.
"I would strongly suggest you leave, Jayce"
His name has been tossed around quite frequently as of late. It felt nowadays more common than not that someone knew his name before he had a chance to say it. How odd of an existence, your own name ripped from your mouth before you have a chance to form it. This, too, was dumb. He knew that. Many people begged and pleaded for his very privileged, cushy life. Hell, when he was young and bright-eyed, he gazed up at the faces of the titans of industry and progress and hoped beyond hope that he would join them one day.
Well, here he was. The life he clawed and prayed for. And he was smoking on his balcony because of it. A shameful habit, this he also knew. Jayce could name a million other things he'd rather tell his mother than the small fact that he smoked. He'd rather look her in the eye and say he had a praise kink before he let her even got a whiff of smoke on his clothes.
The click of the lighter was a comfort. The warmth of the smoke in his mouth was like an old kiss. The cigarette balanced between his fingers was grounding. All of it was very simple. He could explain why he smoked. He knew why. The scientific and biological explanation shoved violently to the wayside. No, it wasn't the inherent addictive properties of nicotine, though he wouldn't deny that is a huge part of it. The reason he would say with a guilty, teeth barring smile is that he feels like himself when he's doing it.
So many of his choices in life have been reckless. He broke his arm at the ripe age of 9 because he figured out how to open the second story window and had always wanted to see the stars on the roof. He crashed his first car while trying to go back roading with his first boyfriend tucked in the front seat. He has a scar that snakes across the entirety of his back that he got into a bar fight when he was freshly 19 and snuck into a seedy bar with a friend he doesn't even remember the name of now.
Professionally, it has been no different. When his work at upper grad became increasingly worrying to his professors, they banned him from continuing his research into renewable energy in his school lab. Explosion risks were cited, but mostly, it was the risk of their oil grants being threatened by the continuation of the testing he was doing. Well, they weren't wrong about the explosion risks. The shrapnel that caught him in the right rib speaks to this all too well. The doctors said they couldn't remove it all and would only try in the future if it migrates too close to his lung. Jayce runs his hand over his rib cage and almost feels like he can feel it. A piece of his own invention nestled safety inside. He takes a long drag and thinks of the man who helped him bring it past that violate point and into something real. Something useful. Not just reckless.
Viktor. Sharp lines, sharp wit, sharp words, and sharp golden eyes. Viktor slid into his life with the grace and finesse of an assassin's knife. The wound he cut was clean, healed well, and could've been deadly if he so chose.
He was not reckless. He was calculating to a fault. The perfect pairing to a perpetual fuck up of an engineer that is Jayce Talis.
Jayce slips his hand under his shirt, pressing his chilled fingertips to the scars that litter his skin. He feels himself take a long shuddering breath.
No, no, let's not think about it, he begs himself. But like with all things, Jayce never listens.
Viktor, as beautiful as light shining through a shard of glass, had held his jaw in a vice grip last night. Jayce, as smooth as a train wreck, had gasped and sputtered an apology before he even registered what might be wrong. He was always making mistakes with Viktor. Drinking three too many beers at the mans apartment surely resulted in at least one.
Viktor had simply stared at him for a moment before releasing his jaw like one would release a bird back to the wild. With a flick of his fingers and a pushing forward motion that seemed to suggest to Jayce that he should flee out the window.
"I'm sorry. What was it? Am..am I too drunk? I've been drunker with you. I don't-I don't understand. Vik-"
"Jayce." His name. Always his name. Viktor always says it like it's made of honey. Jayce wants him to drip it on his tongue.
"What you just said." Oh lord, what he said. Jayce crumbles in on himself, one hand still clutching the burning cigarette, the other wrapped around his ribs.
"You just said," the specter of Viktor in his head continued, "that I am the most beautiful thing you've ever seen."
And Jayce had. They were discussing the stained glass of the cathedral they had passed on their work trip to England. It had been breathingly gorgeous when they decided it was worth the detour and went inside. The colors played like giddy children across the stonework floor. The high ceilings held the ribs of gorgeously carved wooden beams. But despite all that, Jayce found himself looking at how the light played in Viktor's hair. How his pupils dilated. How he licked his lips before he started to ramble about 18th century philosophy.
He was the most beautiful thing Jayce has ever seen. He shouldn't have said it. Viktor was not reckless. Starting a relationship between them was everything Jayce was and Viktor wasn't. He was no fool, Jayce knew enough about himself to know he was far too open with his emotions for Viktor to not at least have a guess that he habored more than work appropriate feelings for the other man. They had been working together three years now and he still couldn't figure out if Viktor returned those feelings. After last night, Jayce thinks with a bitter, painful swallow, he got his answer.
The answer was no.
No. Oh gods, it was no.
Jayce was hopelessly head over heels in love with him and Viktor's answer was no. Jayce, ever the fool, had taken one more risk and had gently set his hand on the side of the other mans neck. He had felt the rabbiting pusle of him, could feel how soft the skin was. He had touched him here before. All casual and never in this intimate manner where his palm pressed against the column of his throat. It was heaven, it was the cold depths of hell. Something in his face must've showed how much he felt for Viktor. It must've betrayed him like it always does. Too expressive, everyone always told him. And Viktor told him to leave. So, he did.
He had a painfully awkward progress report with their investment board earlier this afternoon. Viktor rarely ever showed up to those, but his absence ached worse than the hangover anyway. It went horribly. The board wasn't happy with the cost of materials and was demanding they either rework what metal they are using in the generators or bring the cost down in other ways. Jayce wasn't looking forward to bringing this all to his partner tomorrow.
He lights another cigarette, finally uncurling his fingers from where his nails have bitten half moons into the skin.
"Those will kill you."
Jayce startles, his chair clattering backwards, knocking his ash tray clear across the balcony. A string of curses tumble from his mouth as he whips to lock eyes with none other than the ghost who's been haunting him all day.
Viktor has one hand curled around the open balcony door and the other on his cane. How Jayce didn't hear the door slide open or the click of his cane, well, he'd rather be embarrassed about one thing at a time.
"Hey." It was meant to sound casual, but it comes out sounding absolutely wrecked. His throat suddenly hoarse, his voice thick. He clears it and tries again.
"Hey, buddy! I was just going shoot off a text that we'll need to meet in the morning. Lots of demands from the board. You know how it is." Too much. It was too cheery and over the top. Jayce grimaces and drops his head into his smoke wreathed hands. Hiding, a cowards move. God, could this be any worse.
"Can I sit?" No. Yes. Always. Please leave and let me suffer alone.
"Of course."
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gatheringbones ¡ 24 hours ago
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[“Femme is not about performing for male expectations. The symbols of femme are not the patriarchy hobbling women. Femme can be enjoyed as explicit and knowing gender performance. It’s legit to do or be femme simply because it makes you feel good to do it, just because you want to be it. Femme does not need to be stripped of all pleasure in order to be legit, but it also doesn’t need to prove its constant pleasure to deserve access to health care and civil rights and social celebration. Femmes are still femmes when they’re not onstage or turned on. The same goes for butch, and for people whose gender is neither, or both, or in flux.
By seeing how much it means to my trans women friends to take hormone replacement therapy, to get facial feminization surgery and breast augmentation and vaginoplasties, I saw how femininity could be euphoric, pleasurable, and affirming. In knowing nonbinary femmes, even ones assigned female at birth, I grew to understand how femme was a gender that could continue to defy expectations.
Femme is too fun to be owned by strictly male fantasy and policed by those who would deny fantasy in the name of equality. When I eschewed anything pink in order to be seen as smart, strong, powerful, worthy, an aesthete, I was centering the patriarchy as much as if not more than any girly-girl. Meanwhile, the trans mascs I know who also utilize hormones and surgery and presentation to affirm their identities are not inherently abandoning feminism. There are so many different ways to be a man.
In knowing that you don’t have to get any surgery at all to deserve respect for your self-identification, that you can get any procedure you want without proving you fit into medical categories of dysphoria, I saw how gender could be a performance just for yourself when no one else was watching. True gender liberation means that both femme and masc can mean anything to anyone’s identity and orientation. The world is full of all kinds of gender deviants who don’t all wear the same uniform. Bisexual femme dykes. Asexual butch fags. Butch trans women who can fix your alternator. Trans men who smear glitter on their cheekbones. Cis-het men who like to go out dancing in pink booty shorts. Cis-het women who drive trucks. Gay trans men and lesbian trans women. Nonbinary and genderqueer and gender-neutral and gender-fluid and gender-nonconforming people who love all kinds of things that align and don’t align with the gender they were assigned at birth.
Like all erotic power play, genderfucking gives us the chance to work through sociocultural anxieties. Gender power play releases us from the conformity of binary stereotypes by making them personal. So many fetishes related to gender have to do with force not only because of the inherent erotics of power but because gender rebellion is so dangerous to the status quo.”]
tina horn, from why are people into that? a cultural investigation of kink, 2024
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hughesybear ¡ 2 days ago
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Max Sasson just did an interview with Brandon Astle (Abbotsford Canucks commentator)! Highlights include:
Saving the menus from the plane rides
His reaction to the trades and his friendships with the players
Speaking on Quinn's leadership and talking to him after the loss in Edmonton
Full transcript below the cut:
Astle: Well Max, your first game back in Abbotsford after a lengthy run with the big club back in Vancouver, what was it like to be back around the guys and another home game for you here?
Sasson: Yeah, it was super fun seeing everyone this morning. Some of my best friends are on this team, and a lot of them I talked to regularly when I was up, so they were all great. It was unfortunate that we lost on the first night back, but I’m just looking to come back and hone in my game and get better at stuff they told me to work on here, and hopefully get called back up at some point and help the team win.
Astle: We don’t have to talk about the loss about Calgary, it is what it is, I’m more curious about you and your experience in Vancouver. Take us through the whirlwind two and a half months being in the big leagues, that must have been so cool.
Sasson: Oh, yeah, it was a dream come true. The excitement never really ever - every single game, it felt like it was still - the lights were bright, and I had to pinch myself especially playing against some of the best players in the world. Crosby and Ovechkin, I was literally seven years old watching them play. That was the real moment in my second game I think, when Sid was going back for a puck and Letang was yelling “Sid, you got time, you got time,” and I’m like “Wow. This is insane.” These are two guys that I was literally a little kid just admiring them and crying ‘cause the Red Wings lost to them in the Stanley Cup. But it was an awesome experience, so yeah. Hopefully get back.
Astle: Would you say that was your “welcome to the NHL” moment or is there another one that stands out?
Sasson: That one was the one that sticks out for me. I mean, playing against Ovi, when he has this whole - you’re not really watching him during the warmup, but you kind of are, since he kind of holds that much stature, so seeing him just up close and personal, that was pretty cool. But yeah, Crosby, Malkin, Letang, these guys, that was my “welcome to the NHL” moment for sure.
Astle: And getting your first NHL goal a future Hall of Famer is pretty cool too, in Andrei Vasilevsky-
Sasson: No, no, no, it was Boston.
Astle: Oh, was it Boston? Oh, sorry!
Sasson: Yeah, I was like “wait, is Swayman a Hall of Famer?”
Astle: Could be, could be! But the one thing I just wish was that game was a little closer so that you could have that big celebration, what were you guys down, five-one or something?
Sasson: I know! Five-nothing, yeah.
Astle: And you had to have a subdued celebration, but was that tough not to jump out of your skin? Like, you just scored your first goal in the NHL!
Sasson: Yeah, it was tough. Obviously I was super fired up on the inside, and honestly the guys were really fired up. I had some guys come up to me like “hey, you can smile. It’s your first NHL goal, at the end of the day you’re not going to remember the win or loss, it’s the fact that you scored in the NHL.” I’ve never been a guy, though, that’s gonna - I’m always just trying to think about winning. But obviously it was awesome, right? And it was assisted by Millsy, who’s a good friend of mine, and he picked up the puck right away. It was pretty cool.
Astle: I imagine, playing in your hometown - you told me you grew up not too far away from Little Caesar’s Arena [the Red Wings’ arena], you mentioned you were heartbroken when the Penguins beat the Red Wings in Game 7, that must have been a surreal feeling seeing how many people were coming to watch your first game in Detroit.
Sasson: Yeah, it was almost overwhelming. Obviously that was a moment I’ll never forget, playing in Detroit and seeing - there were so many people there in warmups when I was just skating around, and taking it all in. Even just playing against the Red Wings, the team that I grew up idolizing, that was really cool. I think the person that had the most fun was probably my dad [laughs]. He said it was the best day of his life. So yeah, that was awesome.
Astle: What’s the best perk about being in the NHL? You hear about a lot of things, what was something that really lived up to the hype, could be travel, accommodations, per diem, the meals on the road with the guys, or just anything at all, what really stood out?
Sasson: What stood out probably was the plane, the plane rides. Just going right to the plane, hopping right on, we have great flight attendants up there. I saved a bunch of the menus that they have because I couldn’t believe that I was living this life of, you know, eating steak on the plane and stuff. So that was probably the coolest thing for me. And I asked some of the guys, I was like “do you just get used to this?” And they were like, “Yeah.” I was like “I can’t imagine,” cause I would stare [?] every single time I got on that plane. You just had pretty much whatever you wanted to eat or drink, that was really cool.
Astle: And if you don’t mind, Max, just take the fans through what it’s like to get the bad news that you’re coming back to Abbotsford, if you don’t mind sharing, a bit of a loaded question. Where were you, who tells you, what do they tell you to work on, how does that call or text go down?
Sasson: So yeah, I talked to - Patrik called me, the GM, I think when we were about to play Nashville, and he let me know I might be coming back, and then the next day he told me I was flying back. Obviously, it sucks, right? It’s tough to hear, but there was a lot of positives they gave me, and Yogi Svejkovský, the assistant coach up there, had a great PowerPoint with a bunch of video from pretty much almost all of my games. He had probably fifteen positive clips and fifteen negative clips, and probably ten clips of other guys that I could maybe see myself in their role at some point. It sucks, but at the end of the day I’m where my feet are, and I want to get better every day and help this team win, and help myself get back to the next level.
Astle: And another tough part of the business, Max, is the trades. Six players getting shipped out of the Vancouver organization, and I’m sure a couple of them you grew a close bond with, these last two and a half months. What goes through a player’s head when you see stuff like that, and did you find out just like everybody else, through online and on phones and on Twitter, stuff like that?
Sasson: Yeah, I honestly just - before the game, I had some texts saying J.T. got traded and they said there were prospects involved and other players involved, and obviously I got to the rink and I saw Bränny wasn’t playing for us tonight. He’s a great guy, and worked hard, and played really good hockey for Vancouver and played really good hockey for Abbotsford, so it’s tough to see him go. And after the game, I hear that Vincent Desharnais and Danton Heinen, two of honestly my closest buddies on Vancouver - I wish all of them nothing but the best, but that’s the business we’re in. Every team is trying to get better, and it makes sense. Pittsburgh's thinking they got better, and Vancouver's probably thinking they got better. So it’s the business we’re in, and it’s tough. And this is honestly my first real time where I’m like “wow, that sucks, these are good guys.” So, we’re human, but yeah. You gotta move on, and I’m sure the guys coming are gonna be hopefully good people as well.
Astle: What about Quinn Hughes? Talk about a guy that’s honestly probably the best player in the league right now, who you got to see on a day-to-day basis, what’s he like in practice, off the ice, what separates him from the rest?
Sasson: His confidence is unmatched, I think. Just with the puck, you know, not - I wouldn’t say cockiness, but confidence, and knowing “you can’t contain me.” Like “I am gonna do what I want.” And it shows, right? From my first training camp here, I said that he is an X-factor, and just from then he’s been taking off. And off the ice he’s a good leader, helped me - we had a tough loss against Edmonton, [he] came over on the plane and talked to me and hyped me up, and let me know what he sees and how I can help the team. And then obviously on the ice, yeah, he’s in my opinion the best defenceman in the world, and top probably three or five player in the league right now. He controls the game, and I always joke he wakes up with two points ‘cause it seems like every single game, no matter what happens, he does his thing, which is what Tocc’s always saying, “Huggy does his thing,” because it’s true. So he’s incredible.
Astle: And what do you make of your old Abbotsford roommate, Marc Gatcomb - you got your first NHL goal, and now he got one this week, what went through your mind when you saw that one come across the wire?
Sasson: Oh, yeah, I know! I figured it was only a matter of time. I guess he’s been playing really well, I haven’t been able to watch too much of it, but I’ve seen some clips. I always knew he had NHL ability with his skating, and he does things that not many people can do, where he can fly, he can hit, and coaches love that. So it was great to see, I’ve talked to him many times about - he was asking me for advice when he first got called up, and I couldn’t be happier for him. And now it’s pretty cool, ‘cause now me, [Aiden] McDonough, and Gats, we were roommates, we all have NHL goals, so it’s pretty special.
Astle: And Aiden’s having a pretty good year in the AHL as well, hopefully he can get back to the NHL.
Sasson: Yeah, he works super hard, and he’s an even better guy, so I wouldn’t be surprised.
Astle: Well Max, this has been great catching up, great to see your success in the NHL. Hopefully you can come down here, do your best, and you’re back up with the big club in no time! Thanks for your time, buddy.
Sasson: Thanks for your time, yeah.
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