#and how it became an actual trilogy after the fangirl book

[clumsyartish]

Last night I couldn't sleep because I was explaining the entire plot of Carry on and the whole Simon snow universe (+Fangirl era) to myself for absolutely no reason. And I came to realize that DAMN this is really a complex universe. I can't even imagine trying to explain anything to my friends, because I don't even know where to start. Like how am I supposed to make them understand the true impact these characters and world have had on me without making them read the entire series? (Including fangirl) like???

[rofelsstuff]

Carry On (book review)

Author: Rainbow Rowell Rating: 5/5 Synopsis: In this book, we follow the story of Simon Snow who's worst Chosen One who's ever been Chosen (that was his roommate Baz said). Simon Snow was the Chosen One who was prophesied to defeat the magic-eating-monster named, the Insidious Humdrum.

Note: This is mostly me being messy because I love this book so much!

If you read Fangirl by Rainbow Rowell, of course you'll be familiar with the fanfic book that Catherine was writing there. This book (Carry On) is basically a story of a fictional character in another fictional book.

Okay so here goes the one word that could describe this book: AMAZING!

Rainbow Rowell didn't disappoint again with this story. My god, I don't even know where to start or where to find the words for me to describe this book. This isn't my Top 1 favorite book, but this book made me feel a LOT OF THINGS. And I won't complain!

The few pages and chapters of the book were slow paced but after Baz showed up and made his grand entrance EVERYTHING BECAME SO MUCH BETTER. He completes the book!!! (And Snow) I loved him very much. He made me love vampires again! And I love Simon! And Penelope! These characters made me laugh so hard and made me care for them so much that I did not want to finish this book at all.

I loved how Rowell made this book so fun to read and enjoyable. This is like a Drarry fanfic but so much better! (At least for me, please don't attack me). It was amazing how Rowell made this book like a similar of Harry Potter but at the same time, so different! The spells were so clever that they actually come from songs, and god, nursery rhymes! I can't count how many times I laughed at the spells.

And the SnowBaz syndrome! I wanted more! The kissing, the romance, the confessions, and the lines they throw at each other--I wanted more! I didn't expect myself to smile from ear to ear and giggle because of their cute romantic scenes! I am fangirling a lot of times because of them and will never ever complain.

“You were the sun, and I was crashing into you. I’d wake up every morning and think, ‘This will end in flames.”

I also love the ending! It was so realistic (not really realistic because it's fiction) but what happened in the end was so perfect yet so bittersweet that I don't know what to feel. But I absolutely love it. There were still many questions left unanswered, but I wouldn't mind reading the second and third book.

But if you do not like trilogy or series, you can read this book without reading the others because this book can stand alone as it is!

ANYWAY! I'm still not over this book. I am contemplating whether I will re-read this right now!

[bluesky-thewebcomic]

Final thoughts from Elvenwhovian

So here we are at the end. The last panel. There were a lot of times that I thought I wouldn’t make it to this point. It’s been an incredible and long journey, and finishing a project like this is satisfying beyond words. I know that many of you were not here from the start, so I just wanted to share the story of how this 930 panel monster of a project came to be and thank a few people who helped along the way.

Really it all started in March of 2014. My roommate had taken a trip to New Zealand to visit family and I was having a pity party at home alone (It’s always been a dream of mine to go to New Zealand). I was window shopping online on Thinkgeek (RIP Thinkgeek) and I was seeing all this merch for a game called Portal. This led me to Steam, which led to finishing the first Portal in about a day, then Portal2 in about 2 weeks. 

Of course this led me to begin looking up fan art which led me to discover the fanfiction “Blue Sky”. I read the whole thing in about 4 days. I was so engrossed in the story, I ate, slept, went to work, and read Blue Sky and nothing else. I vividly remember sitting at my kitchen table, ipad in hand, as I read the last lines of the story. I sat back, let out a long breath and said, “Wow. That was one of the best stories I’ve ever read.” 

The fan art came next. Being relatively new to tumblr, I was used to getting 3-6 notes on a post. Suddenly, people were coming out of the woodwork liking and reblogging. My mind was blown and it made me want to make more fan art. Then I met @starry-nightengale who became one of my best friends on this site. We fangirled over “Blue Sky” and Portal over the next year which led to us co-writing “The Trial of the Bow” trilogy, a medieval/fairytale retelling of Portal, Portal 2, Blue Sky, and Portal Stories: Mel. 

It was on Labor day weekend of 2015 when my internet went down inexplicably. My roommate who had the internet in her name was out of town yet again and I conceded that I would have to wait until she got back to get the issue resolved. The Trial of the Bow Trilogy was finished and I had just co-written with @the-royal-sketchbook a Half-life Medival/fairytale fanfic “The Legend of the Freeman.” However, my passion for Half-life was not as strong as it was for Blue Sky and I longed to do something else involving Wheatley, Chell, and the citizens of Eaden. 

Most of the people that I encouraged to read Blue Sky did not have the time to invest into a novel length book. I longed to create something more accessible. A comic book/graphic novel of the story had been in the back of my mind for a long time, but when the desire rose up in me, the thought of “but you would have to do backgrounds and you suck at backgrounds” reared its ugly head. 

But on that Labor day weekend, a thought occurred to me. “What if I did it as a comic? Very loose and simple. Something that I could do for fun without any heavy commitment.” So that weekend, I did a quick pencil drawing of the scene when Wheatley and Chell argue from Chapter 5. I threw some color on it and put it on tumblr and it got a great response. Then I did the scene when Chell transfers Wheatley into the hardlight avatar from Chapter 3. Another great response. It was simple and loose but people seemed to like it. I asked Starry what she thought about doing the whole story in such a way. If memory serves, she was for it but warned me not to get too far ahead of myself. If I did this, it would be a huge project and would take a lot of planning and forethought. BTW, good advice Starry ;)

After completing all of Chapter 1, I made the announcement, created the page, and the Blue Sky Web comic was born.

One of the things that helps me to recharge each week is drawing/working on art on Sunday afternoons. In the past, I had struggled to find things to work on, but no more. Sunday was now Blue Sky Comic day. I would post 2 panels and create 4 more. If I had extra time on holidays or days off I would get extra done. This system allowed me to consistently add to the project without feeling rushed or overwhelmed. I was able to get ahead so that I could take breaks for holidays, trips, computer problems, and eventually planning my wedding and getting married. The Blue Sky Web Comic became a constant in my life. Whenever I needed to decompress and just draw or color in panels, it was there. 

In late summer of 2019, my Father was diagnosed with cancer. If any of you have walked through cancer with someone, you know how difficult and painful it can be. My husband and I took a trip to see my parents about once a month for the next 8 months. The drive was fairly long and was the perfect opportunity to work on what I called “pencil work” for the comic (sketching out the layout of each panel, a process that took the most concentration and time). Working on the comic helped to keep my mind off of things. Each time we visited my Dad his condition declined and being able to focus on something like the “pencil work” helped to make the trips better.

In spring of 2020, right before the COVID-19 lockdown, my Father passed away. It was right before that final trip that I finished the “Pencil work”. By then I had also made a lot of headway on the comic itself, with only a few chapters left to ink and color. I remember reading stories and blogs about how people made it through difficult times by focusing on a hobby, tv show, book, or music; not living in denial of the bad things, but just having something to help them take a break from it all. That was what the Blue Sky Comic was for me in those final days and I will always cherish how it was one of the things that helped me to make it through that difficult period in my life.

With the COVID-19 lockdown, I had some extra time to work on the comic and by late spring of 2020, I finished the last panel. It still kind of blows my mind. From 2015 to 2020 was how long it took to complete.

____________

To the 2000+ followers and those who replied, liked, reblogged, and sent messages, your words helped me to keep going when I wondered if it was worth it. Your kind thoughts helped me to know that this story is still enjoyed by people and Portal fans alike.

To @starry-nightengale, thank you for your advice at the beginning and your support and friendship along the way. Here’s to many more ^w^

And to @wafflebloggies, thank you for writing Blue Sky. It may seem overdramatic, but when I found this fic back in 2014, I was in a dark place and your story helped me hold onto the light. Even years later when faced with new trials, it helped me to focus on what was ahead. I truly believe that this story resonates with so many people because it taps into the most simple and profound truth: the most powerful love is selfless. And selfless love can conquer any difficulty. Also your support of the comic over the years made me smile with delight. I’m so glad you liked it :)

So that’s the story. I plan to do more audiobooks of the rest of the Trial of the Bow trilogy, but after that I’m going to be taking a nice long break from Blue Sky and Portal.  I have a personal passion project that I am in the initial stages on. It's another web comic that I actually couldn’t have even considered doing if not for the experience I gained over the past 5 years. I’ll have updates on my personal tumblr for that project and the audiobooks, but for this page, The Blue Sky Web comic, this will be one of my final posts (aside from responding to any messages from you guys). Thank you all again for following. What an incredible journey this has been! This fandom is so amazing and I love you all. Take care and God bless. - Elvy

[ladyherenya]

I’ve taken forever to finish this post. Such round-ups are easier when I haven’t read so many books, and when the pandemic isn’t being so distracting.

Also read: A Bride of Convenience by Jody Hedlund, Cutie and the Beast by M.E. Carter and “Dueling Magics” by Stephanie Burgis. 

Total: sixteen novels (including four audiobooks), two novellas, one short story, one graphic novel and one comic volume. 

Cover thoughts: Tarashana is my favourite, followed by A Natural History of Dragons. I altered the covers for the Stevenson trilogy -- I like my versions more! 

Did not finish: The Long Distance Playlist by Tara Eglington. 

Still reading: Love in the Blitz: The Greatest Lost Love Letters of the Second World War by Eileen Alexander. 

Next up: The Order of the Pure Moon Reflected in Water by Zen Cho. 

My full reviews are on Dreamwidth and LibraryThing. 

*

A Portrait of Loyalty by Roseanna M. White (narrated by Susan Lyons): Romantic historical mystery, set in London during 1918. Christian fiction. Features characters from the The Number of Love and On Wings of Devotion.

I was surprised by how long it took before I really cared about the characters and their relationships. It was interesting to consider the way dark-room photography could be used -- and manipulated -- in aid of the war effort. 3 ★ 

*

Playing Hearts by W.R. Gingell: Portal fantasy based on Alice in Wonderland. Novella. 

I like retellings and Alice in Wonderland references and Gingell’s storytelling, so I was a bit surprised by how long I took to warm to this. I liked the final section a lot. 3 ★ 

*

Dawnshard: From the Stormlight Archive by Brandon Sanderson: Fantasy. Part of the Stormlight Archive, set after Oathbringer. Novella.  

I struggled to focus, distracted dredging up and searching through my memories of this series. But Sanderson is a successful storyteller, and the end of this adventure was satisfying. 3 ★ 

*

Game of Hearts by Cathy Yardley: Contemporary fandom-y romance. Features characters from Level Up and One True Pairing.

The characters’ respective family issues were resolved far too readily, but I find this sort of fluffy romance is acceptable if it comes with fandom references.  

*

Bel Lamington (1961) by D.E. Stevenson (narrated by Patience Tomlinson): Romantic fiction. Features characters from the Dering Family trilogy.

Delightful. A very gentle sort of story, although it’s not just gardening and picturesque scenery and new friendships -- Bel also encounters stressful difficulties at work. I could predict how everything would all ultimately turn out -- but was surprised by some of the turns the story took getting there. 3½ ★   

*

A Bride of Convenience by Jody Hedlund: Historical Christian romance set in 19th century Canada. 

An interesting glimpse into an aspect of history I didn’t know about (bride ships), but neither the pacing nor the tone appealed to me. 2 ★ 

*

Torch by R.J. Anderson: YA-ish fantasy, faeries and shapeshifters. Sequel to Swift and Nomad.

A satisfying conclusion with some surprising developments. I was glad to see things resolve happily for Ivy.  3 ★  

*

The Dering Family trilogy by D.E. Stevenson: Romantic fiction set in England and Scotland. 

Vittoria Cottage (1949) (narrated by Leslie Mackie): Nothing too dramatic happens but it’s a fascinating insight into postwar life in England, still with rationing. I like that Stevenson considers the concerns of a middle-aged widow worthy of this sort of attention -- and of this sort of romance.  3 ★ 

Music in the Hills (1950):  James Dering goes to stay with his aunt and uncle in Scotland, and learn about farming. I knew how James’ romantic endeavours would unfold (from reading Bel Lamington) but even with that foreknowledge to make things extra predictable, I wanted to keep reading. This has such a strong sense of place! And the characters are very likeable.  3½ ★ 

Winter and Rough Weather (1951): Follows on from Music in the Hills.  A vivid insight into how poor roads and poor weather can isolate one from the outside world. I didn’t mind spending time with James and Rhoda’s friends, but they rather became the focus towards the end and maybe I’d have liked this book more if that hadn’t been the case? 3 ★ 

*

“Dueling Magics” by Stephanie Burgis: Short story set after A Most Improper Magick. Children’s fantasy. Verdict: cute. 

*

Fangirl: the manga, vol. 1 by Rainbow Rowell (story adapted by Sam Maggs and illustrated by Gabi Nam):  First installment in the manga adaptation of a young-adult novel about a fangirl going off to college.

A lovely way to revisit Fangirl! Judging from my memory of the novel, this is a remarkably -- and satisfyingly -- faithful adaptation. I really liked the artwork. 3½ ★ 

*

The Tuyo series by Rachel Neumeier:  Fantasy. 

Nikoles: A prequel side-story about a minor character from Tuyo. A thoughtful look at what causes a conflict between two peoples to escalate -- or to be resolved -- through the eyes of a likeable protagonist.  3 ★ 

Tarashana:  A direct sequel to Tuyo. I loved it. It’s a journey into the unknown, full of difficulties and danger in that way that good fantasy quests so often are. Very tense!  I was also impressed with the way this story explores the challenges of justly judging people, and how this gives Ryo a more nuanced perspective, but the events of the novel thematic cohesion. 4 ★ 

*

The Long Distance Playlist by Tara Eglinton:  Epistolary Australian YA. Unfinished.

Two teenagers reconnect through email and share Spotify recommendations for dealing with breakups. I didn't finish this before my loan expired -- maybe I'll read more when it becomes available again.

*

Second First Impressions by Sally Thorne: Contemporary romance between two 20-something employees at a retirement village.

Thorne has a gift for vividly capturing the quirky personalities of two people and capturing the different ways in which they like each other. There were a few small-ish things in this story I didn’t personally like. Mixed feelings, I have them.  3 ★ 

*

Copper Mountain by Rachel Neumeier:  Urban fantasy. Part of the Black Dog series, set after Shadow Twin and Black Dog Stories III.

Dimilioc deals with demons. I was reminded that I do care about these characters. This wouldn’t have been so tense if I wasn’t so invested! 3½ ★ 

*

The Year’s Midnight by Rachel Neumeier: Death’s Lady, book one. Portal world fantasy.

Compelling. I really like how, even though Dr Daniel Dodson doesn’t believe his patient Tenai is from another world, this doesn’t actually undermine his ability to help her. Because he believes that Tenai fully believes her story and that it’s important for understanding her anger.  3½ ★ 

*

A Natural History of Dragons: a memoir by Lady Trent by Marie Brennan (narrated by Kate Reading): Fantasy. Isabella tells of her childhood obsession with dragons, and how, aged nineteen, she joined an expedition to Vystrana.

Such a novel and interesting approach to dragons. Isabella’s adventures are eventful, and her observations are astute and often delightfully expressed.  But  I came away feeling unsure if I found the ending satisfying, because as a reader, I’m HERE for the emotions. 3½ ★ 

*

The Murderbot Diaries: Fugitive Telemetry by Martha Wells: Science-fiction. Set between Exit Strategy and Network Effect. Novella.

A less intense installment. On the other hand, I would happily read about Murderbot solving any number of mysteries. ANY NUMBER. It was interesting to see Murderbot working under a different set of restrictions.  3½ ★ 

*

Cutie and the Beast by M.E. Carter:  Contemporary romance, single-parent co-coworkers, roommates-to-lovers.

I finished it but it wasn't really my thing.

*

Runaways: Canon Fodder (volume 5) by Rainbow Rowell (illustrated by Andres Genolet): Marvel superhero comics.

The previous volume had more scenes which stood out to me as memorable or quotable, but this volume had a strong, complete story arc and that was really satisfying! As is the rather pointed commentary about being a superhero. 3½ ★

[princess-of-the-corner]

Lady Luck AU: Lila.

So, for those who don’t remember, the Lady Luck AU is where Chloé is given the Ladybug Miraculous instead of Marinette, and this kicks off her ‘try to be better’ thing, especially with Adrien and Tikki (And Plagg, sort of) encouraging her.

So of course things are different with the Lila situation. Partly because Chloé is less likely to back down from Lila, partly because more people know about Chloé being Lady Luck, and therefore believe her. Let’s go through this episode by episode:

Volpina

Characters who know that Chloé is Lady Luck: Adrien, Marinette(learns this in the AU’s version of Antibug), and Alix(technically she only suspects it, but is quiet about it.). Marinette and Alix don’t know about Adrien being Chat though.

Lila shows up like usual, claiming to be bffs with Lady Luck.

Chloé honestly doesn’t care much about Lila at first. After all, if it becomes a problem Lady Luck can show up and clear it up.

Marinette is suspicious af and a good person so she wants to figure out what’s up with Lila and get her to stop

Adrien is still the ‘her lies aren’t hurting anyone(yet) so I’ll just let it go’ guy.

Alix is unsure what to do as she is only suspicious and doesn’t have proof either way and doesn’t really come into play here.

Adrien still took the Book Of Miraculous Bullshittery from his dad’s office. He asks Chloé to meet him in the library to talk about it.

They start discussing the book, and Tikki recognizes it and is like ‘We need to take this to The Guardian right away!’.

Before they discuss more of that, Lila shows up. She is heavily flirting with Adrien like usual, saying how she’s ‘bffs with Lady Luck’. Chloé’s just sitting there like “Get a load of this guy!”, but is getting more suspicious of Lila’s intentions

While Lila doesn’t steal the book, as Chloé knows it’s important and keeps an eye on it, she does see enough of it to get an idea.

Lila gets Adrien to agree to meet her in the park, and they both leave.

Chloé finds out that Marinette was behind a bookshelf eavesdropping on them and is just as suspicious about Lila.

They agree that Mari should follow Lila to the park while Chloé deals with the Book.

Lila does her usual deal of trying to convince Adrien that she’s a Fox Hero, but he’s actually the one to call her out on it.

He does make a half-truth and says he knows she’s lying because “Ladyluck was looking for you to discuss the false interview you gave’.

Lila is still pissed at Lady Luck for calling her out and becomes Volpina.

Chloé is on the way to Master Fu’s place when both Adrien and Marinette message her about what Lila did. Needless to say Chloé is fucking pissed. She also gets the alert about Volpina and decides to investigate that, putting the book thing on hold.

Both Lady Luck and Chat Noir are suspicious of Volpina being a Hero, considering Lila just tried that shit and might be an Akuma. Lady Luck decides to mess with her a little and also test her.

She does the ‘oh of course you’re a new hero! Btw us heroes don’t have secret identites with eachother, just civillians. Isn’t that right Richard?’ Chat plays along with a ‘of course Solaris!” (Bonus points if you know what those names are referencing). Volpina asks them to detransform, since they’re revealing identies and all. Lady Luck says ‘oh it won’t matter if we do! We’re total nobodies and wouldn’t really be recognizable. In a city this big I doubt we’d even pass each other by chance!’.

They ask more questions, making up things. Like, Lady Luck: “So what was your Trial like?” Volpina: “Trial?” Lady Luck: “Your Trial to be a hero of course! The whole ‘magic pocket dimension to prove your worthiness to wield a Miraculous?” Volpina: “Oh, right, that! Totally aced it. Pretty easy if you ask me!”.

When they call her out on it, Volpina goes to Plan B: convincing Adrien she’s really a Hero.

This whole thing goes pretty much the same. Chat goes back to his room to try and talk her down and/or trick her that way.

Volpina then heads out to the Eiffel Tower and dangles a fake Adrien off it.

Lady Luck knows that Adrien is fake because Chat is next to her, but it sounds real enough that she falters for a moment. Still they get through and defeat her.

Lady Luck does not apologize to Lila at all. In fact she might make at least a snarky comment at her.

Both Chloé and Adrien bring the Book to Master Fu.

Chameleon

Characters who know about Chloé being Lady Luck at this point: Adrien, Marinette, Alix(hasn’t had it outright confirmed, but is 99% sure), Sabrina(Learned when she became Abielle), and Mylene (learned when she became Turtledove).

Due to the events of the Queen’s Battle Trilogy, Chloé has been spending a lot of time at Marinette’s house. On these mornings she ends up being just as late as Marinette.

This is one of those mornings. They both assume the rearrangement is for Mari to sit by Adrien, but everyone’s like ‘nah we moved Mari to the back because Lila needs to sit in front’.

Chloé calls them out on that. “I would’ve expected you to send me to the back since you all hate me. But sending her to the back?” they’re all like ‘well you would’ve thrown a bitchfit so...” and she’s like ‘Didn’t stop you chucklefucks last time!’.

They call her out on some of her lies so far, with Chloé ignoring Miss Bustier trying to mediate the situation.

Alya accuses them of being jealous of Lila being near Adrien and both Chloé and Marinette are like ‘what the fuck are you talking about?’. She clarifies that they’re being mean to Lila because of their crushes on Adrien. Both deny that they have a crush on him.

Alya’s like ‘sorry to out your crush Mari but come on you can’t just attack someone because you’re jealous’.

Marinette replies that she does not, in fact, have a crush on Adrien. Alya counters with previous events trying to set them up, and Mari calls her out on the fact that those were Alya’s ideas.

Alya then says ‘okay, but you’ve told me how the guy you like is blonde with green eyes and is a dork that likes puns!’ Marinette answers with ‘That may be, but it’s not Adrien.’.

She also says that it’s not that she doesn’t like Adrien. She’s just in love with someone else and even says ‘maybe if I didn’t fall for him… you know?”.

Adrien is DYING because the guy she’s in love with is Chat Noir. Because Marichat is Canon by this point. The class thinks he’s dying because Mari just ‘shot him down’.

Marinette also points out that if she’s going to be a jerk to everyone who likes Adrien, then why isn’t she a jerk to Chloé over her supposed crush? No, her and Chloé are actually friends now and in fact literally just came from a sleepover.

Alya is real surprised by this, because she hadn’t noticed Chloé being a better person, and had no clue she and Mari were friends. Especially not to the point of sleepovers on schoolnights.

The class then addresses Chloé’s jealousy, bringing up the fact that she’s all over him all the time and used to go on about loving him. She’s just like “Yeah, it was the only way to keep his fangirls from harassing me but idk if you noticed but I’ve been trying to set him up with his dream girl?’.

She then goes on with ‘speaking of harassment though, let’s focus back on Lila and how my dislike of her is not just because she lies but because she tried to manipulate Adrien into dating her!’.

Adrien is encouraged to confess the stuff that happened in Volpina, how Lila claimed to have the Fox Miraculous in an attempt to make him like her.

Lila’s lie to cover for this? Claiming she wasn’t lying, she really is the Fox Hero! She only told Adrien because she wanted to impress him, but it totally wasn’t a lie!

Everyone goes ‘but you look nothing like Fennette!’. She ‘explains’ that her power is Illusion so obvs she looks different.

Adrien points out that Lady Luck told him directly that she wasn’t her friend. Lila says ‘She was the one lying. See, she has a crush on you and was kinda upset that I was interested in you. We had a bit of a fight but it’s fine now!’.

Chloé then asks about Volpina, since that was the first ‘Fox Hero’ to appear. Lila answers ‘oh, well, I was originally Volpina. But some people thought I was an Akuma so I decided to remake my Hero Persona!’.

Chloé then says ‘Well now I definitly don’t want you anywhere near Adrien, considering Volpina was the one who broke into his bedroom and kidnapped him to the top of the Eiffel Tower!’.

Oh boy. Lila manages to cover that with a ‘Okay, so that part was a half-truth. I was Akumatized, but Lady Luck begged me not to tell people about that because she doesn’t want people to worry that Heroes might get Akumatized.’

Marinette then gets her round of ‘fuck you’ by asking about the fact that Fennette and Chat Noir are dating. If Lila is Fennette then obvs she’s dating Chat so why is she going after Adrien? Lila says ‘oh, that romance is fake. See, Chat’s actually gay and wanted me to cover for him. But he’s decided recently to come out so I can tell you guys and clear that up!’. (Adrien is still DYING)

By the end of all this, Miss Bustier finally reins in the class and says ‘look. While I believe there are a lot of misunderstandings here, I also understand that these events have caused some of you to be a bit uncomfortable. If some of you would like to rearrange your seats, lets do it now.”

The seat rearrangement ends up with basically a split between the class.

Chloé’s side includes Adrien, Marinette, Sabrina, Alix, Mylene and Ivan.

Ivan is a bit confused over why Mylene believes Chloé, but he’s already guessed that she’s Turtledove. So she would know whether Lila is being honest or not. He also begins to suspect Chloé might be Lady Luck because of this(He later gets confirmation in Oblivio, as well as confirmation on the other Heroes).

Everyone else is on Lila’s side. Although there’s also a split there.

Alya, Kim and Max all 100% believe that Lila is telling the truth and Chloé’s just being a jerk like usual, and Mari’s jealous.

Nino, Rose, Juleka and Nathaniel are a little different. While they think Lila might be honest and all, they don’t think this is just about drama. That said they are defending her.

Lunch continues the split, with the Hero Group and Lila’s fanclub

Chloé purposely goes to the bathroom and waits for Lila to follow her because tbh she know the old bullying tricks.

Lila tries the ‘we got off on the wrong foot how about we be friends?’ thing, and Chloé tells her to fuck right off.

Lila tries the different approach, of ‘we could rule the school together!’, and Chloé again tells her to fuck right off.

She then goes with the ‘I’ll make all your friends turn against you then!’ thing. And Chloé laughs in her face saying ‘bitch they already hate me! You can’t do shit!’.

After Lila leaves, Chloé does get upset at the potential of that threat. Because while she’s used to everyone hating her, she’s been making progress over the last year and the idea of everyone hating her for things she didn’t actually do is terrifying

She almost gets Aumatized, but reminds herself that she has people on her side for once. Her closest friends know that Lila is a trick ass bitch, and wouldn’t fall for anything Lila says.

The rest of Chameleon happens pretty much the same, up to the ending.

Adrien suggests the ‘take the high road’ option, but Chloé’s like ‘yeah, sit back and let her do what she’s doing. Worked out great for me!’. And he’s like ‘okay, you have a point...’.

The seating situation isn’t fixed, it’s still split.

While Marinette does try to remain friends with Alya, she isn’t dropping the Lila thing any time soon. It causes some problems later on. Basically they’re still friends unless Lila comes up in conversation, and Mari refuses to hang out if Lila is there.

Oni-Chan

Some of this is still the same.

Adrien is still kinda naive about how bad Lila is, and agrees to help tutor her in an attempt to make peace.

Chloé advises him against it, considering all she’s done before.

Adrien’s like ‘look, let’s give her a chance. I mean, you changed for the better so maybe if we try she will too?’.

She has to give him that, but she makes him agree to do the tutoring somewhere public and with a group.

He sticks to that, convincing his father to let him stay over lunch to tutor her in the cafeteria. So how does Lila end up in his room? She lies her way in.

After Adrien goes home, Lila shows up and tells Nathalie she’s here to tutor Adrien since he misses class so much.

Nathalie believes it because of the previous schedule change with the lunch session, and lets her in.

Adrien is definitely very upset to have her in his room all of a sudden

He tries to play nice but she does the kiss selfie thing and he snaps

He storms downstairs and… I don’t want to say he yells at Nathalie because he’s sweet and he understands that Lila tricked her

But he very forcefully says ‘Whatever she told you was a lie. You should not have let her in. I do not want her anywhere near me.”

He storms back to his room before Gabriel can come yell at Nathalie, and Lila is escorted out by The Gorilla.

When Gabriel asks Nathalie about the incident, she admits to what happened and tells him what Adrien said about Lila.

Kagami is still Akumatized into Oni-Chan. But the fight goes differently.

First of all, Kagami isn’t Akumatized due to being jealous of the picture. She’s Akumatized because Adrien has mentioned Lila before and he sees how uncomfortable and low-key furious he is in the selfie. Adrien is her friend and she would’ve gone after Lila even without Hawkmoth’s help.

Secondly, Fennette, Abielle, and Turtledove are permanent heroes, so they’re all fighting her. When Lila tries to do the ‘oh no I’m injured can someone get me out of here?’ act, it’s either Abielle or Turtledove helping her.

The last part of this episode deals with the Marinette/Adrien subplot.

So, I mentioned in other posts about this AU that Marinette loves Chat Noir, and Adrien loves Marinette. At this point in the story Chat and Fennette are dating, but while he knows who she is, she doesn’t know who he is.

After this whole incident, Chloé makes the decision that Marinette has to know now.

The Kwami and Master Fu are kind of against this, but so far the lack of identity shenanigans between heroes has been helpful.

She feels that they should know because then Marinette can date Adrien and have an excuse to keep Lila off of him/perhaps she might quit if he’s ‘off the market’.

The reveal goes about as expected.

Adrien goes home and Gabriel asks him about what happened with Lila.

He tells the truth, that Lila is a classmate that has lied and manipulated before. He tried giving her a chance to be kinder, but she crossed several lines by lying her way into the house and forcing a kiss on him.

Tbh, Gabriel is very disgusted by Lila’s actions. While he thinks that she might be useful to ‘Hawkmoth’, he decides to keep her away from Adrien as much as possible.

Adrien also comes clean about his actual love interest, Marinette. Gabriel’s just like ‘hey out of all the friends you’ve made at school she’s like the only one I actually super approve of so go for it!’.

He does warn them that Mari would face some backlash from it, since she’s aiming to be a designer. People might say she’s with Adrien just to get ahead in the industry. Gabriel, having met Marinette and dealt with her sense of Justice before, knows that she isn’t doing that and absolutely doesn’t need to.

When Adrien and Marinette show up at school the next day and are being all couple-y, Alya kinda calls Marinette out on the ‘what happened to you not having a crush on Adrien’?

Mari kinda plays it off with ‘well I guess I have a type. I didn’t really realize how much I liked him until you pointed that out!’.

Lila tries to play the victim with ‘oh no you’re totally seducing him just to spite me!’.

Adrien snaps and is like ‘oh, btw, you’re officially banned from my house after your little stunt yesterday’.

They mostly leave her alone after that, but Chloé makes one last comment: “My mother would love you.” (like ¾ of the class physically recoils at that).

Mirculer

Lila kinda doesn’t actually play much of a part in this because of major plot changes. I mean, the whole AU involves Chloé having a Miraculous in the first place, so Lila can’t mess with her over that, and none of the other Heroes had a mental breakdown and revealed their identity to all of Paris, so she can’t mess with any of them.

I might change this if I can, but given what I have planned it’s unlikely.

Ladybug/Lady Luck

I’m only going to address the ‘Lila frame jobs’ thing here, and there’s a few changes in the how and who.

First of all, this has nothing to do with Hawkmoth since Gabriel actually likes both Marinette and Chloé. He does take advantage of the fallout, but he doesn’t cause it. This is all Lila.

Secondly, Lila focuses more on Chloé. While she hates both Chloé and Marinette, Chloé is the easier target due to the history of bullying, while people would probably be suspicious of sweet little Marinette being mean. Sure they believed it before, but since Marinette already ‘won’ Adrien, she has no reason to be jealous!

The whole chapter is Chloé playing into Lila’s lies just enough to disprove them.

Framed for cheating on a test?

Tbh someone suggested Tikki seeing the answer sheet being planted and sneaks it back onto Miss Bustier’s desk and I might snag that idea.

Barring that though, Chloé points out the weirdness of it. Like, why would she still have the answer sheet instead of throwing it away and not getting caught?

Furthermore, while she’s never cheated on a test before, Miss Bustier tends to grade homework during tests, and doesn’t notice when Chloé finishes a test and pulls out her phone for an online shopping spree. Why not just look up the answers on her phone instead of taking the risk of being caught stealing the answer sheet?

Chloé also plays up the dramatics of ‘Here I am, trying to be a nice person. But someone still holds such a grudge that they’d plant evidence as revenge! Or just to give everyone else a reason to believe I’m not trying!”.

Accused of pushing Lila down the stairs?

Instead of saying ‘uh, she just walked down and started screaming?’, Chloé plays along a bit.

“Oh no, I didn’t push her! She tripped and fell. I understand why she assumed she was pushed though, as we do have some animosity, but I don’t want her harmed! In all my years here when have I ever gone with a physical assault? Perhaps we should check the security cameras to be sure?”

Lila realizes that would show her walking down and decides to agree that she ‘hastily assumed because of their fighting’.

Oh no! Someone stole Lila’s necklace, an heirloom from her grandmother! And what’s this? It’s in Chloé’s locker!

Chloé just calmly says ‘that isn’t your grandmother’s necklace.’. Lila insists it is, and the teachers start to believe her act.

Chloé just says ‘That’s a necklace from the Agreste Collection. I bought it last year. I found it again when cleaning out my closet and was going to see if one of my friends wanted it since it’s out of season now. Actually, Marinette has one too.”

Obvs the necklace is actually Lila’s, but Chloé is playing it cool since she recognized it immediately. Marinette just shows off her Miraculous, which looks similar enough to the necklace to fool everyone else.

Lila says ‘okay but this one is mine!’. Chloé points out ‘That necklace can’t be yours since you said your necklace was an heirloom from your grandmother. I’m sure it’s around here somewhere. Hey, maybe it was stolen! Last year a small magic creature stole my bracelet and I accused some people until Lady Luck found it. Perhaps the same happened to you!’.

I’m debating about this being the moment where Lila gets exposed for lying and trying to frame her and all, with that being the event to trigger all the negative emotion with betrayal and/or righteous anger.

Either way I’m def making Miss Bustier handle things better here because 1. she deserves better too and 2. that instagram pic made me want her to replace Chloé’s mom so hell yeah.

Also I now I said I was just focusing on the Lila plot but you can bet your sweet ass that Senitmonster!Lady Luck is sticking around entirely because of my feelings over that episode of W.I.T.C.H.

[ivory-in-rapture]

My Top 10 Authors of the decade

This is actually a difficult list to make (like any list I have to make!) because there’s a lot of authors who I was binge-reading at the beginning of the decade (Cassandra Clare, Rachelle Mead, Lauren Kate, etc.) who I have not even thought about in years! Then there are also some authors I have just recently started reading who have had big impacts on me even though I have read only one or two works by them. (Catherynne M. Valente, Madeline Miller, Donna Tartt, Holly Black, etc.) I tried to keep a balance on this list with adding the few authors I have consistently read and loved, a few wild cards and then some old favorites to finish up the list:

1. Maggie Stiefvater (The Raven Cycle, All the crooked saints)

I have practically turned this blog into a Raven Cycle fan blog at this point! I love Maggie Stiefvater’s writing. She was one of the first people who friended me in Book circles back when I joined in 2009. She is someone who not only I look up to as an author but also as a person. 

2.Rainbow Rowell (Fangirl, Landline, Eleanor and Park, Attachments, Carry on, Kindred spirits...)

It was love at first book with Rainbow Rowell! I know people are slightly..polarized about her books but when I read Fangirl, it was like someone had taken a look at my mess of a university experience and tried to put it together in a healing, empathetic order. I had a horrible time during my Bachelor’s study and the worst of Cath’s experience captured just that! I love that book so much, it’s been a comfort and a hopeful beacon for me through the years and after that, I have loved everything else I read by Rainbow Rowell as well. Hell, I went on an international trip just to buy Eleanor and Park because it wasn’t available in my country!!! 

3.Leigh Bardugo (Shadow and Bone trilogy, Six of crows duology, King of scars, etc...)

Shadow and Bone was one of those books that pivoted my reading style. I think my unique take on that trilogy might not even be supported by Leigh herself but my god! this book changed things for me. I have been a loyal follower of Leigh Bardugo ever since! fun fact: my blog got(a teeny bit) famous because of my Shadow and Bone related posts all the way back in 2013/2014 before my Tumblr malfunctioned and I got locked out for over a year...anyway the point is, Leigh and her books have been a huge part of this decade for me. In a lot of ways, my memory of my reading experience is a before and after Shadow and bone thing.

4.Laini Taylor (Daughter of Smoke and Bone, Strange The Dreamer)

When I grow up, I want to be Laini Taylor! confession: I didn’t like Daughter of Smoke and Bone when I picked it up first..before I fell in love with it and stayed up all night on a trip and finished the book. Laini’s writing should inspire a new religion, it’s so good!

I don’t have any tattoos but if I ever get one, I know exactly what I’ll get and that’s a quote from Taylor’s books. I know what quote, but I’m not gonna tell ya!!!

5.Hanya Yanagihara (A little Life)

I should probably read her other books at some point but I’m not even over A little life yet! This is arguably my favorite adult novel that I’ve ever read. Yanagihara’s writing style is very close to how I write which I guess can be considered complicated (?) so I really enjoyed connecting to her writing on that front as well. 

6.Naomi Novik (Uprooted, Spinning Silver)

Uprooted was my introduction to Naomi Novik but since then I have learned about her impact on fandom and preservation of fanworks and all that combined makes her one of the most influential people in this decade for me! If only as a nod to all the stuff I’ve read on AO3...

But that aside, I loved Uprooted when I read it and if you haven’t read it either you really should. That book is so amazing and mind-blowing, it’s unreal!

7. Tahereh Mafi (Shatter Me trilogy)

I haven’t read anything by Tahereh Mafi since Ignite Me but for the first half of this decade, Mafi’s Shatter me trilogy (yeah I don’t recognize the new sequels! Sorry!) was EVERYTHING! And even though I haven’t read much of her works since, I still follow her activity at a distance. There’s also a personal connection I have to her, which is private but that just makes her very relevant to me!

8. Susan Ee (Penryn and The end of days trilogy)

This book...man! Susan Ee has essentially been MIA since her self-published trilogy ended (she did release a new book recently though) but even for the short amount of time that I spent inhaling her books, she was a huge part of my reading experience. I mean I reread her books twice in less than a year at a time when my only reread books were Catching fire and Fangirl! Iconic!

9. Suzanne Collins (Hunger Games trilogy)

She’s been gone for a long while and i don’t talk about THG much anymore but I did join Tumblr because of THG. and honestly, when you’re living in a dystopian world and then an author writes a book about that, you connect with it on a spiritual level and there’s no way to avoid that connection. I think very few people experience hunger games like I did. I still remember the day I went to my mom and told her how an American writer has written a book that is essentially so close to our lives and how I can’t stop reading it and how HUGE this all is. Suzanne Collins is never not going to be relevant in my life. 

On top of that, before reading Hunger Games, I read a totally different genre of books! Reading Hunger Games changed everything for me! I wouldn’t be here now if it wasn’t for her and her book trilogy.

10. Kieron Gillen (The wicked and the Divine)

I mean I have a freaking side blog dedicated to that comic series which ended this year...heart-freaking-breaking. He wrote my all-time favorite OTP, I became a comic book reader because of wicdiv, I found my bestie because of wicdiv... so yeah Kieron Gillen was a big part of this decade! HE FREAKING WROTE LUCI! I mean...

Anyway, I hope somebody got through this list! I thought about @ ing the writers but I don’t want to bother them with this sentimental post! This is a part of my end of the decade wrap-up series. If you want me to do any specific wrap-up lists, I am open to suggestions!

[fictionalboysarejustbetter]

Friendships from Afar

Distance creates a barrier of trust. There are no worries. There is always a safety net to fall back on that protects from hurt or pain. Beginning in second grade, my personal goal had always been to find a singular, perfect friend who lives far away. We could talk openly with each other, and I would have the ability to be myself. The plan is that years later, I would meet this person in the weirdest of circumstances, and we would be best friends forever. It’s even better if this friend is a guy, so then we can both fall in love and get married to live happily ever after.

In second grade, the entire class received school pen pals, and while my fourth-grade pen pal was not ideal, I knew I loved this “secret” letter writing system where I am just Rebecca, nothing more or less. Moving into fifth grade, Mrs. Smith found me a pen pal from China. Through our teachers, we would send each other letters back and forth until the school year was over. From this moment onward, I was hooked; pen pals didn’t care what I looked like or how shy I was or how involved my mother was with the school, I could just be me, and they only knew the information I told them. Without asking for help, I scavenged through the internet, trying to collect pen pals as if they were Webkinz. I was convinced this perfect friend could only be found on pen pal websites that look like they were made by my fellow fifth graders.

Starting in sixth grade, I would spend night after night stalking the profiles of random teenagers on Students of the World, a supposedly “safe” pen pal website for kids. Gender? Who cares. Age? About 10-16. Likes? Reading, of course. Language? English please. I would then press search and sift through hundreds of profiles, finding the perfect candidates to be my best friend. This process was extremely predictable, including:

The teenage boys “looking” for a relationship:

Nathaniel, Age 14, UK

HOBBIES:

Photo

Trips

Cinema, Television

Sports

Reading

Painting, Drawing, Art

Hi! Are you looking for a cool guy to write to? Send me a nice message otherwise you’ll miss something priceless. 

I can speak:

English, French

The liars that claimed they like everything and speak every language:

Janhvi, Age 16, USA

HOBBIES:

Photo

Trips

Clothes

Cinema, Television

Sports

Sciences

Music

Reading

Animals, Nature

Cooking

Collections

Painting, Drawing, Art

Hello !!👩I'm Janhvi .I like to travel.I have traveled in to many countries .Such as india , sri lanka, china, france and more.I like make new friends.message me soon guys.👭👫OUR LIFE IS CHANGE , BUT FRIENDSHIP NEVER BE CHANGE.

I can speak:

English French German Italian Spanish Arabic Chinese Japanese Korean

The students making a profile for class:

Chaya, Age 13, USA

HOBBIES:

Clothes

Cinema, Television

Music

Reading

Animals, Nature

I am looking for a penpal for our school project. I would like to find some in Atlanta, Georgia.

I can speak:

English

I would scroll through these profiles so constantly that I rarely found new profiles. I was judging every profile based off of the person’s name, biography, age, likes, languages, everything. Most people without a profile picture wouldn’t receive an email from me. I tried to avoid messaging anyone from the United States unless they sounded like a major fangirl or fanboy over the books I liked. I automatically favored anyone from Europe, especially if they had an interesting name. But regardless if anyone from anywhere sent me a message first, I would respond back at least once.

Shortly after the search began, I received a message from a girl named Julia from Australia. She and I were the same age, we both needed a friend, and we both liked reading, animals, music, and clothes. Quickly, my life began to revolve around the fourteen hours that always stood between Australia and the United States. Throughout sixth and seventh grade, we would be constantly messaging on the messaging app “kik,” confiding everything deep and useless to each other like best friends do:

Becca says:

Hey, how are you?

Julia says:

Everyones well... Mum and dad start the long drive to melbourne this weekend so everythings kinda topsy turvy :p

How is your family and pets? Im sorry for my rudeness that i didnt ask earlier

Nearlytime for school?

Becca says:

Lol that is fine! I get to school around 8, so normally ill drop off right before, lol i try to remember to tell you but i tend to forget. Theyre good though. Willie and Apricot are happy my grandma left :-P mom and dad are helping me with my ancestry project and exploding of happiness because I got a position in that volleyball club and my sister has been working and spending money :-P her favorite thing to do

Julia says:

Ahh the christmas spirit... Lol is there anyone in the house who loves your grandmother?

Becca says:

Lol we love her because shes family, but no one loves her when shes here if you know what i mean.

What’s up?

For two years, the conversations would continue for hours, as we both wait anxiously for the “ding” on our tablets, indicating a new message. Julia’s father was a firefighter who fought the nasty bushfires that haunted their country. I interviewed him as my hero for my final paper and presentation in my eighth grade English class. I interviewed him through email after our initial plans to Skype were sidetracked by the active wildfires, and I so proudly presented the information about him that you would have thought he was my father.

One day, Julia told me about her divorced parents. Then, she told me about the twins her mom just gave birth to. Then, she explained that she actually has a twin brother and no younger siblings at all. Then, she became an aunt to twin nephews. Then, her house burned down, and she had to move across the country. Then, her parents just moved across town. The stories continued and continued only within months of each other, not adding up in any way, shape, or form. With hope still in my heart, I sent her all three books of The Hunger Games trilogy since she really wanted to read them, but two months later, the books came back in the mail as undeliverable. The address did not exist.

Unable to admit defeat or accept the idea that my best friend might not be real despite all of the evidence, I started to panic. What if she is catfishing me? I’ve seen that show before, and I even gave “her” my address. Whoever this person is could easily come to my house and kidnap me...maybe I should tell my mom and warn the police. But maybe, she just has a really hard life, and she compulsively lies to make herself feel better? Maybe, she just really wants attention, and that’s why none of her stories are adding up. Besides it could still be her, she may just be scared. She could have just lied and is younger than she said and is trying to sound cool to impress me.

With these panicked thoughts raging through my body like wildfire, I blocked her from kik and began to ignore her emails. I forced myself to just disappear, so then I would have nothing to worry about. I cannot trust that Julia is really Julia, so I will just watch “her” occasional emails come in, analyzing from afar who “she” may be. I’ll search for her on Google and Facebook and Instagram and Students of the World and anywhere else I can look. The emails would keep coming for years and years, but they never held much content to them, and I’m still left to question who “Julia” is.

My Julia investigation was stalled for now, and the void of not having a constant penpal to talk to quickly came back. Therefore, my search to find the perfect best friend needed to be expedited since Julia was certainly not cut out for the position. I continued to search Students of the World with my new smartphone every chance I had. In between games at volleyball competitions, Hope and I could be found by the nearest outlet on my phone, scouring the website for the perfect answers within someone’s profile. We would send out messages together to the nerdy fangirls and fanboys around our age. Every day during the bus ride home from school, Jenna and I looked through the website on our phones, judging everyone’s biographies and pictures. Jenna created a profile too, and we would have three-way Skype sessions with Sylvia from France until the two of them became too close and stopped inviting me to Skype with them.

Finally in April of ninth grade, I received a promising email from a 16-year-old boy from France:

To: fictionalboysarejustbetter@gmail.com From: coolfrenchboy@gmail.com

My name is Kristopher and Im from France !

I watched a few days ago Divergent and it made me want to read the books !

I see you like tv shows and video games as I do !

I am not fluent in English but I can talk to you !

If you want I can learn you French ! :)

Typically, I would spend about twenty minutes every day responding to emails from random penpals on my way home from school, but within the first three or so emails to a person, one of us would just stop responding. In regard to Kris, I generally liked video games, but I wasn’t obsessed with them, and I had a weird taste in TV, so we probably couldn’t talk about that much. But Divergent by Veronica Roth was my all-time favorite book. As soon as I read that word in the email, I knew I would be responding until he stopped responding to me. It had always been my goal to fall in love with a fanboy, especially one with the same taste in books and movies as me, so I immediately responded with:

To: coolfrenchboy@gmail.com From: fictionalboysarejustbetter@gmail.com

Hi Kristopher!

What part of France are you from? I live near Pittsburgh, PA, USA.

Yes, definitely read the books! They are amazing! I find myself gravitating towards video games and shows more than sports! :P

I don't know much of French as I take Spanish in school, but I'd love to learn some and help you with English as well!

Rebecca

He emailed me back within minutes, and we emailed for most of the evening, talking about books and food and the differences between the United States and France. That night though, my phone battery had died, and it was only for a few hours. After plugging it in, I found five unread messages from him, making sure I was okay.

To: fictionalboysarejustbetter@gmail.com From: coolfrenchboy@gmail.com

Lol it works ! :) Good courage to go back to school ! :)

To: fictionalboysarejustbetter@gmail.com From: coolfrenchboy@gmail.com

Hey sweetie 😆

To: fictionalboysarejustbetter@gmail.com From: coolfrenchboy@gmail.com

How are you Miss ?

To: fictionalboysarejustbetter@gmail.com From: coolfrenchboy@gmail.com

Do You use words like ain't or gonna ? 😆

To: fictionalboysarejustbetter@gmail.com From: coolfrenchboy@gmail.com

Are you OK ?

As soon as I read these messages, my heart fluttered a little. This was just the beginning of our constant messaging and talking. I happily responded to him, and within days, Kris was my perfect, new best friend. The random space he left between the last word and the punctuation of a sentence would drive me insane, but I didn’t have the heart to explain the process to him. We talked so consistently that it would probably be considered unhealthy, discussing pets, family, being the youngest child, aspirations, atheism, languages, food, books, video games, and everything else under the sun. I was stuck to my phone all day, and every time I picked it up, I waited in anticipation for a notification with his name and the random spaces between his words and the punctuation.

The six-hour time difference between the two of us meant nothing, with him staying up late and me getting up early. Between classes, we would sneak each other messages about how our days were going. My week-long field trip to San Antonio, Texas was spent either messaging him or scouting out an outlet to plug my phone into so that I could talk to him. The more access I had to Kris, the further I distanced myself from my friends and family. When my phone would die or I wouldn’t have reception, I would look around, annoyed by whoever the people around me were. Kris was the perfect friend I always wanted; he was my best friend, and I was his. Neither of us needed anyone else, and hopefully, all of our talking and flirting would lead to love which would lead to marriage.

The summer before tenth grade came, and Kris seemed to be growing distant. Supposedly, he was travelling all summer, and he would rarely have access to wifi. I counted down the days until he would be back home, and after one measly conversation, he disappeared again. I sent message after message, finally receiving a response about his brother pushing him in the pool and his phone being in his pocket at the time, so it was destroyed. The summer seemed to be surrounded by disappointment, but hopefully when we went back to school, our relationship would continue to be as strong as it was before.

Tenth grade began, and Kris was still busy all the time. Apparently if he kept up his hard work, he would be valedictorian. Since I couldn’t spend lunch chatting with him anymore, I bragged that I was basically dating this amazing French guy who is valedictorian at his school. Until October hit, and then I would receive the dreadful message that he has a girlfriend. Ironically, this only made our conversation stronger than it had ever been, and he even picked out my new haircut, sending me endless compliments on it. The next day, he sent another message, explaining that his girlfriend didn’t want us talking anymore so it would probably be best if we just stopped. I was bad at listening to these directions, following this conversation up with many, many new messages in attempts to strike a conversation with him again. These messages earned me a nice block from Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and Snapchat.

My only method of contact would now be email, so night after night instead of stalking Students of the World for new pen pals, I would send Kris emails. I now began to understand that feeling that I caused upon Julia, who may or may not have been Julia. Throughout October and November, I received a few responses that sounded like an automatic email reply, but one email in mid-November stood out, as it was one of the last ones I would receive from him.

To: thisismyname@gmail.com From: thisiscoolfrenchboysnewemail@gmail.com

Hello Becca,

I did act stupid and didn’t answer your messages at all. When I emailed you first, I never thought our friendship would get that strong !

Guess what, there used to be a time I was really in love with you, but I haven’t dared say so … The one biggest reason was the 6000 km that stand between us ! You were the one I loved talking to ! So I talked to you and you never waited to answer and neither did I.

I don’t know, something went wrong, time changed, I’m sorry I haven’t answered you for long, this is all my bad. I wish I could go back to past to fix this.

This message will never ever be able to patch things up, but it (I hope ) will tell you that I never forgot you .

My mother would tell me time and time again that any type of relationship separated by physical distance would never work. I had never believed her, but after receiving this email, I understood. Why had I ever believed that the perfect friendship would be through time differences of at least five hours? These relationships do not automatically create a barrier of trust, often making it even harder to trust. There are always going to be worries about who that person is and what their intentions are. There is no safety net to keep you from being hurt or feeling pain. Once there is a roadblock within your barrier of communication, you cannot simply get it back after running into each other at Walmart or flashing them a fake smile as you pass them in the hallway at school. As soon as one person blocks the other or the number of unread emails increases substantially over months, that person is gone forever.

[red-applesith]

Is there any merit to the claims that the ST movies haven't been planned at all and that each director just takes things where they want? I always see antis claiming that but I've never seen proof of it? But at the same time some of the things cast members have said (mainly Daisy) do make me wonder if they have any idea of where the story of their characters is going. I would find it concerning and amateurish if there was never any plan at all from scratch.

Tbh Nonnie, antis have absolutely no concept of reality so I wouldn’t pay attention to any of the things they say. Even when they quote a director or an actor verbatim they misinterpret the meaning of the words used. 

Regarding the trajectory of the characters, my take from reading obsessively interviews since 2015 and fangirling over the series of “Art of Star Wars” books is that like most projects, the creators of the ST came up with the main STORY ELEMENTS but then each director was given carte blanche to create THEIR story (the script). 

Rey is a scavenger, Kylo fell to the darkside, Finn is an ex-stormtrooper are all story elements for instance.

In short, do I believe they knew they wanted to tell a certain story? Yes. 

Did they plan every single detail in advance? No --Otherwise, they wouldn’t have fired Trevorrow mid-way through the project and they wouldn’t need to reshoot scenes all the time (TFA had tons of reshoots, TLJ had a few and rumor is that they’re reshooting some scenes of TrOS right now). 

Projects like Star Wars have so many moving pieces. Things will evolve and change over the years. That’s normal. 

I looked up for you an interesting article I’d read about the influence of Lucas’ original ideas for the ST. Perhaps it will explain better than me. 

From www.starwarsnewsnet.com

PABLO HIDALGO SHEDS MORE LIGHT ON GEORGE LUCAS’S INFLUENCE ON THE SEQUEL TRILOGY

Not that long ago, some concept art from George Lucas’s pitch for Star Wars Episode VII finally surfaced, revealing that some of the key concepts that The Force Awakens and The Last Jedi were built around were inspired by his treatment after all. Now, Pablo Hidalgo is taking to Twitter to explain the creative process on how things changed from conceptualization to actualization.

The first couple of points worth discussing here were actually brought up by Full Of Sith Podcast contributor Bryan Young on his Twitter page, where he noted that a number of story elements from both The Force Awakens and The Last Jedi were borrowed from Lucas’s story treatments based on The Art Of… books for both The Force Awakens and The Last Jedi. Young mentioned that many of the plot points for the character of Kylo Ren were already decided by Lucas: that he would betray his uncle, kill many of his fellow students, and ultimately murder his own father. Likewise, Rey would ultimately convince Luke to get out of his depression and do something about the war. The key difference is that both of these events would have happened in the same Episode VII – whereas in The Force Awakens and The Last Jedi, they’re both late-movie plot points. Hidalgo added to Young’s observations by noting that Kylo Ren’s origin was actually intended to be explored in Episode VII instead of Episode VIII:

In a very general sense, the original idea of 7 started midway through what we now know as 8.

— The Tweets of San Francisco: A QM Production (@pablohidalgo) January 3, 2018

So the difference between The Force Awakens and Episode VIIas it was originally conceived was that the story would have coincided with Ben Solo’s fall to the Dark Side. Instead, we’re introduced to him being Snoke’s apprentice for a few years:

The son falling to the dark side was always in the mix. The movies just ended up having it already an established fact.

— The Tweets of San Francisco: A QM Production (@pablohidalgo) January 3, 2018

Later, Young got into an argument with an Expanded Universe fan who was unhappy with the direction of the new films. The EU fan argued that Star Wars Legends was closer to Lucas’s vision (it wasn’t), an Young responded by reiterating what was mentioned above, with other users chipping in to suggest that Lucas’s ideas weren’t completely scrapped so much as they were reworked by the people working on the new movies. Hidalgo added to the conversation by adding some of the code names for the other characters:

Skyler and Kira (and Kira wasn’t the first proposed name either; she had at least two others) became, after a fashion, Finn and Rey. The Jedi Killer morphed from Talon corrupting the son to becoming the son. Uber became Snoke. The starting point shifted. Yadda yada yada.

— The Tweets of San Francisco: A QM Production (@pablohidalgo) January 3, 2018

“The Son” and “The Jedi Killer”, of course, referring to the character that would become Kylo Ren. “Talon”, interestingly enough, refers to the Sith Lady that was seen in the Star Wars: Legacy comics (an idea that Lucas did pull over from the Expanded Universe, though not in the way that the character was originally meant to appear). It’s also worth emphasizing that these are story treatments and not scripts – as far as we know, Lucas only completed an outline for Episode VII and only had a few other ideas for the other two movies:

I think the fact that a lot of people refer to the as ‘scripts’ show they don’t really understand what it is they’re talking about.

— The Tweets of San Francisco: A QM Production (@pablohidalgo) January 3, 2018

Lastly, Hidalgo noted that “Skyler” (Finn) was originally The Son (Ben Solo) in some drafts of Episode VII:

Skyler was the son in some versions. And as for how all that was gonna go down, that ain’t my story to tell.

— The Tweets of San Francisco: A QM Production (@pablohidalgo) January 3, 2018

What an interesting dynamic that would have been… Nonetheless, we saw Kylo Ren and Finn play off of one another in The Force Awakens as foils, but not so much in The Last Jedi(where they don’t even share a scene).

That’s all for now, but it’s fascinating looking into the thought process that led to the creation of what we now know as the first two chapters of the Sequel Trilogy – and how Lucas ended up being a little more involved with these new movies than we once thought.

[thebookishgoddess]

#Project14Lists 2018: Authors I’ve Read in 2018

Today’s list specifies a list of authors that I’ve never read from before until this year! This is also to show my appreciation for these authors for doing such an amazing job in writing, whether I liked their book or not. Regardless of how they made me feel, I cannot thank them enough for writing such eloquently written books and I am super glad I gave their books a chance.

2018 was definitely the year I explored a little more out of my comfort zone when it came to books written by the authors on this list. Like how I never would have thought I’d actually enjoy a Sarah J. Maas book, or push through consistently on a Cassandra Clare series. This was a year of experimentation on things outside my usual bubble, and I have never been more proud of this year for all the amazing books I read written by these brilliant authors.

Down below are the authors I’ve read in 2018 and which books I’ve read from them this year.

Renée Ahdied

Books I’ve read from her: The Wrath and the Dawn duology

Did I love her books: They were smashing! Her attention to detail with the description of the palace and the foods in her book really takes you to that place itself because everything is so vividly written. Also, kudos to Renée for achieving the nearly impossible feat of developing a couple in the short span of two books. It’s honestly one of the most impressive feats she’s done.

Marie Rutkoski

Books I’ve read from her: The Winner’s trilogy

Did I love her books: I am screeching over her books because I still cannot believe I held off reading them in forever. These are books published years ago and have been sitting in my TBR forever. When I decided to pick them up this year as part of my reading experiments of 2018, I knew I was done for because Marie is such a riveting writer that has pieced together such an epic trilogy. 

Sabaa Tahir

Books I’ve read from her: The Ember Quartet

Did I love her books: SWEET MERLIN, DO I LOVE SABAA’S BOOKS. I think I’ve made that the most obvious nearly most of the time whenever I’m not fangirling over Harry Potter. This woman writes the most impacting words and weaves the most complicated and realistic story as far as fictional stories go. Her characters are just absolutely on point and everything from the start of An Ember in the Ashes to A Reaper at the Gates were perfection on top of perfection. I haven’t got a single negative thing to say because Sabaa is an absolute killer queen with writing (and a killer of characters *side-eyes Sabaa while sipping her tea*).

Kiersten White

A book I’ve read from her: And I Darken

Did I love her book: It was sadly one of my first low rating of the year after I read it. I bought the book at a really good sale in National Bookstore because it was a hardcover and very inexpensive for something that costs nearly a thousand pesos. While the concept of the story was intriguing, the pacing of the story felt a tad too slow for my taste. I’m not certain if it’s only just this book that didn’t make it for me, because I’ve learned a long time ago that authors can duly develop overtime. But this book came out about three years ago, so who knows? I might give her another chance.

Leigh Bardugo

Books I’ve read from her: The Grisha Trilogy, the Six of Crows duology, and The Language of Thorns: Midnight Tales and Dangerous Magic

Did I love her books: I absolutely did! Well, anyone who has ever been on my journey into reading Bardugo books knows that I absolutely rave about the Six of Crows duology. If I had to pick a favorite child of hers, it would definitely be those two books. The Grisha Trilogy was pretty good too, but the Six of Crows duology was such a glow up after the trilogy. I rarely cry over character deaths, and when I cried over that one character (I’m not gonna say his name because it still hurts *ugly sobs*), I knew I had invested so much of my emotions on Leigh’s carefully plotted out and written characters. I honestly love her so much for it.

Alexandra Christo

A book I’ve read from her: To Kill A Kingdom

Did I love her book: Standalone books are the last thing I find any sort of interest in. I always love something more to come after the first book because I find it nearly impossible to put together a complex story all in one. But the impossible became possible with how well Alexandra Christo wrote To Kill A Kingdom. There are rarely any YA fantasies out there that are stand-alones, and Alexandra takes the cake with this one that it definitely made me want to read even more YA fantasy stand-alones now that I know it is, in fact, possible, given the perfect author and the amazing way they execute their story like Alexandra did.

Cassandra Clare

Books I’ve read from her: The Infernal Devices

Did I love her books: Granted, I have read from Cassandra Clare before many moons ago by the book named City of Bones. Let me just say that said book was not really my favorite back in the day because high school Ella enjoyed Greek mythology more than other fantasy books. But I decided to give myself a go with Cassandra’s Infernal Devices trilogy because everyone kept saying it was much better than her Mortal Instruments installation, and they were not wrong on that one. I gained a new appreciation for Cassandra’s writing in the Infernal Devices, which gives me even more reason to read her other series, the Dark Artifices before Cassandra Clare comes to the Philippines next year.

Victoria Schwab

Books I’ve read from her: Monsters of Verity duology

Did I love her books: This Savage Song has been sitting in my TBR forever just like the Winner’s trilogy. But I am so glad I picked up a book from Victoria Schwab because apparently, she’s such a queen when it comes to writing, and I can absolutely attest to that after reading the Monsters of Verity duology. Her books are an honest to Merlin breath of fresh air from all the other YA books with romance. While the two main characters here had potential (and they really did) to be a couple, Schwab didn’t focus on that, and I honestly love it for all its difference. Plus, she writes some of the most haunting lines, which is always a yes for me.

Kerri Maniscalco

Books I’ve read from her: Stalking Jack The Ripper series

Did I love her books: I have raved about Kerri’s books more times than I can possibly imagine in the span of a year. There’s something about a girl in the 1800′s doing forensic science and experiencing horrendous murders left and right that makes it very unique for a YA book. There aren’t a lot of stories like that, which is why it drew me so much to this particular series. I just absolutely love Kerri’s writing because I can easily get into it without having to overthink things. And although Escaping from Houdini, the third book in the installment gave me some very mixed feelings about it, I still cannot wait to see how Kerri finishes the series with a flourish with the fourth and final book, Capturing the Devil.

Sarah J. Maas

Books I’ve read from her: A Court of Thorns and Roses series

Did I love her books: Everyone probably knows by now that I’ve read Sarah’s Throne of Glass book about three or so years ago. It was a nasty train wreck from there on because I disliked the book. But as part of the 2018 experience, I thought, hey, what the heck--let’s read Sarah’s ACOTAR series and maybe it’ll be better than the other book she wrote. And I was so glad I gave Sarah a second shot. She was probably one of my most unexpected good reads of 2018 because I never thought I’d be able to pick up a Maas book the same way I felt about picking up a Cassandra Clare one. I’m honestly just so glad I got to enjoy her ACOTAR series and I’m honestly here for giving her Throne of Glass series a second chance.

Who are some of your 2018 authors that you’ve read from? Are any of them second chance authors like Maas and Clare was to me? Sound off in the comments below!

[minaminokyoko]

Favourite avengers movies scenes?

How on earth do you expect me to ever narrow down enough to not list the entire trilogy in general? Holy hell. I am a big fat Marvel fangirl and I could write a fucking dissertation on scenes complete with charts and graphs. For the sake of argument, let me see if I can at the very least just highlight the tippy top favorite moments from the first three Avengers films. Keep in mind, I fucking love all three of them to death and could rave about them for days at a time.

The Avengers

-Loki’s confrontation with Nick Fury. This scene sets the tone for the rest of the film so fucking well, man. It’s just brilliantly done to see that whatever humanity that we saw in Loki in Thor has pretty much flown out the window and he’s here to wreak havoc and start a war, and he doesn’t care how many people he destroys in the process. I also like that it shows the vast gap in power and experience between the SHIELD agents and an Asgardian. Loki all but flattens everyone in a matter of seconds. Seeing him among other Asgardians can kind of make you forget he’s literally a thousand year old god and is tough as nails. He’s also low down and ruthless and that’s the kind of thing that is scary as hell when you realize that’s what they’re all up against.

-Nat’s “interrogation” with the Russians. I actually love every single Avenger’s introduction scene, but this one is so delightful in that Nat shows us just why she is an Avenger even though she has no enhanced abilities: deception, manipulation, and just being an incredibly agile combat expert. I am most delighted with her scene because before Avengers, I had no regard for Nat at all and thought she was just fanservice, but here, she completely proved her worth as a character and to the team, and I got on board as a fan of her just from her opening scene wiping the floor with these idiot Russian dudes.

-Tony and Bruce getting to know each other in the lab. From a character standpoint, this is an outstanding scene. Tony is trying to draw Bruce out of his shell, and the sympathy and empathy he has for him is so palpable that it’s why we all dubbed them the Science Bros and why it’s one of the best friendships in the Avengers. Tony is so awesome for joking with Bruce and treating him like a normal person and reminding him that there is at least one person aboard that helicarrier who doesn’t see him as some terrifying monster and knows just from reading up on him that he’s not a bad person. It’s so charming and wonderful.

-Stuttgart. Man. Man, oh man, this is a well done scene. The build up to Loki’s horrifying actions is so great and so is this freaking diva’s grandstanding once he demands the poor, confused Germans kneel before him. It’s fascinating to me because Loki has an almost childlike need for attention, as if his frustrations with his failure to take over Asgard as king has manifested itself into this very basic need to be acknowledged as being a powerful threat. Loki could kill an average human being with a flick of his wrist. His comparison of “an ant has no quarrel with a boot” while cruel is accurate, but here’s the thing, Loki: if you fuck with enough fucking ants, you can get your ass into a lot of trouble, and we’re fireants, not sugar ants, buddy. And ants who band together get shit done. The old man who stood up to him, in my book, is a fucking hero all on his own and I think it’s one of the most well crafted pieces of dialogue in the entire MCU. “There are no men like me.” “There are always men like you.” Oh, standing ovation for that piece of dialogue. Give it an Oscar. Then Cap swinging in to kick ass and Tony swooping in beside him with an equally over the top entrance to Loki’s was the icing on the fucking cake.

-Thor retrieving Loki. Hnnnnnnngh, okay, so here’s the thing: I fucking love Thor and Loki’s relationship even before Ragnarok came out and upgraded it. Thor is and always has been since his first movie a man with very deep emotions who loves and loves deeply with all his heart, and his confrontation with Loki just wounds me so much. How Thor throws Loki to the ground and yet yanks him to his feet and just holds him there, his hand on his face, looking so torn between agony and relief that his brother is alive. “I thought you dead.” “Did you mourn?” Fuck me, this scene is absolutely brutal to my feels. Thor and Loki’s debate was nothing short of excellent as Thor tries to bring Loki around, and the thing is, he means it. He means every fucking word, that he would take the Tesseract and bring his brother home, and he doesn’t care about facing the music, he just wants his goddamn brother back even after all Loki has done so far in the story. Y’all better stop sleeping on Thor, man. His heart is by far the best thing about him, forget all the delicious muscles and that perfect teddy bear smile. Thor has miles and miles of heart, and that’s why I love this scene so much. 

-Nat tricking Loki into revealing his plan. This scene is so good I based an entire goddamn fanfic around its premise. Dude. Nat fucking Romanov, y’all. I love how this scene is staged and executed. I love Loki starting out almost gentle and conversational, as if for once he’s going to just be an actual person and not a monster, and then he slips back into that nasty egotistical megalomaniac when he thinks he has one over on Nat. And then Nat fucking schools him. It’s why I have a personal headcanon that he developed a hatecrush on her after she, a mere mortal, tricked the goddamn God of Mischief. It solidified Nat as one of my favorite female heroes forever. I loved seeing her use that feminine “weakness” to let him run his mouth. I also love that his cruel words did in fact affect her and motivated her even more to both save Clint and to go to war with Loki at the end.

-The whole ass helicarrier attack sequence. I mean, I don’t even need to go into detail. You already know. 

-Tony confronting Loki. This is the scene that assured us that what followed would be one of the greatest fight sequences in cinematic history. I pretty much have most of Tony’s dialogue memorized because it had such an effective impact on me from a storytelling standpoint. Tony standing up to Loki as a mortal man with no suit, candidly threatening him with barely suppressed rage that Loki murdered Coulson, a comrade, in cold blood, is downright amazing.

-The battle of New York. Boom. Again, no words necessary. Perfect fucking sequence from start to finish.

-Thor trying one last damn time to bring Loki around. Oh, my heart. My poor fucking heart. Thor really loves his brother and he would do anything to have him back. Is it naive? Yes. But it’s also a beautiful statement of what family truly means to Thor and it breaks my heart. The fact that a tear slides down Loki’s face when he stabs Thor and mutters, “Sentiment” is so not cool. As much as Loki pretends to be the Big Bad Wolf, there is something still young and human inside of him even though he pretends it isn’t there. All my creys.

-Hulk trouncing Loki. I went and saw The Avengers three times in theaters, and two out of the three times, everyone cheered so loud I didn’t hear the Hulk say “puny god” over all the noise. It was that satisfying a scene.

Age of Ultron

-The entire beginning sequence. Fucking loved it. What masterful ass-kicking and showcasing of the team dynamic. It made me want a longer lead in to how they all got reunited because it was so enjoyable. “Language!” Oh, Cap.

-Jarvis and Ultron’s first scene together. Dude. James fuckin’ Spader, man. I never knew I could be so intimidated by a man’s voice. It was so unsettling for so many reasons, the resentment, irrationality, and anger from his unusual birth and creation. It was all the more frightening when he turned on Jarvis, and at the time, we didn’t know he hadn’t killed our beloved butler. 

-Picking up Mjolnir. This scene needs no elaboration. It’s just perfection. Even people who complain about Age of Ultron admit this scene is just flawless.

-The team confronting Tony over creating Ultron. Cap’s line, which we now know goes even further after the events of Infinity War, just make me want to die. “We’ll lose.” “Then we’ll do that together, too.” Tony’s face, realizing that Cap doesn’t care that he fucked up–he cares that Tony couldn’t trust the team enough to let them in on what he was dealing with–is soul-crushing. Tony realizes he was wrong to assume instead of being honest with them. 

-The confrontation in Wakanda. Everything about it was badass and it hits you right where you live seeing the Avengers having to face their biggest regrets and most painful moments of their pasts. Especially Steve’s. The image of him and Peggy finally getting their dance was so not okay. Special props to Tony in the Hulkbuster armor. That was one hell of a fucking brawl.

-The Sokovia final battle. There are just so many awesome points in the final battle sequence, man. Everyone is out there just kicking ass and doing what they do best. Special props to Hawkeye getting through to Wanda, and Hawkeye’s “nobody would know…nobody” moment with Pietro. 

Infinity War

Disclaimer: I have no idea how to isolate moments in a movie that is by far one of the most well written comic book movies since The Dark Knight, but I guess since you asked, I have to try anyway. Hoo boy. Strap in. 

-Loki’s death. Let me explain something to you: I went entire years without caring about Loki, and then around the time The Dark World came out, I slowly became converted to both a Tom Hiddleston and a Loki fan, and then after Ragnarok, he finally just seduced me completely to being smitten with his stupid trashy self. It is important that you realize that I recognize that Loki is a selfish, inferiority complex-having, murdering bastard and I do not excuse a goddamn thing he does because of his fucking Daddy issues. That being said, in spite of how much of a flaming trashbag he is, I love him anyway, and I tried for months to tell myself that I knew as a fellow writer that Loki was going to die in Infinity War. It was assured not only from the trailer, but from me knowing that his character arc was always going to end with his death. What hurt most of all is that, as I predicted, Loki died trying to save Thor. I cried my eyes out. Hell, once Thanos closed his hand around Loki’s neck, I covered my eyes because I just didn’t have it in me to see it end this way for him and for Thor. Thor being helpless to stop it is truly what made it worse. There is nothing on heaven or earth Thor wouldn’t do for Loki, even knowing how wicked Loki is. And the fact that Loki couldn’t let Thanos kill Thor after all these two have been through was like an icepick through my heart. Loki wouldn’t have died protecting Thor if Thor had not loved him unconditionally this entire time we’ve watched their story. Thor’s love did have an effect on Loki throughout these films, and that’s why I literally burst into sobs and couldn’t bear to see him die that way. It is one of the most gut wrenching things ever put to film, and certainly in the MCU. I’ve only had the stomach to watch that scene twice because it hurts me so much, and neither time was I strong enough to actually watch Loki’s final moments. Goddamn, it’s just so painful. Capped off with Thor slowly crawling over to his brother to be with him one last time before the ship explodes and just laying his head on his chest in the kind of grief that honestly should get Hemsworth a fucking Oscar. Bravo. 

-Cap, Widow, and Falcon reuniting with Vision and Wanda. Holy shit, yes. This fight was gorgeous, gripping, and fucking awesome. Special props to Cap and Widow being the ride or die Avengers Mom and Dad team. We can infer from their actions that the two of them have been together since the end of Civil War possibly, so you can not tell me Cap and Widow are not a thing on some level. Captasha all day, err day. They perfectly compliment each other and I headcanon that they’re together and no one will convince me otherwise.

-”We’ll fight you too.”/”We don’t trade lives.” That sound you hear is me screeching. Some people have said Cap wasn’t given a ton to do this time around, and I emphatically protest it simply because, yes, he has less screentime, but man, he does so much work in this role that reminds us of why we all love Captain America. His values mean so much. Cap will lay down his life in the blink of an eye for someone who needs it. He cares so deeply. He is the pinnacle of selflessness and it’s so important to see in this film.

-Thor meeting the Guardians. Perfection. Just…perfection.

-Irondad and Spiderson aboard the Space Donut. Jesus fucking Christ, I am so on board for Irondad and Spiderson that it’s insane. I love that entire fucking interaction from start to finish. I love Tony’s strict, fatherly anger and exasperation because he just wants his baby boy to be safe on earth while he’s on another suicide mission, but the baby boy wants to help his dad out and baby boy also doesn’t quite realize the consequences because he’s too young. Extra points for Tony’s death-glare after Parker says, “It’s kind of your fault I’m here” and the fact that even the fucking cloak did a double take at Parker when he said it. Oh, it’s so perfect.

-Gamora making Peter promise to kill her if Thanos gets to her. I just…I want to die. This was so beautifully done, and so in character for both of them, and Peter and Gamora are just so soft and sweet and in love that it’s so overwhelming. At the very least, I take a small comfort in knowing that they were a happy family for four years before this shit happened to them.

-Gamora “killing” Thanos. Again, can we just award Oscars to like half the fucking cast in this movie? Jesus Christ, I cried at this scene too because the fact that she’s just completely unraveled as she finally thinks she’s killed her goddamn abuser is so deeply tragic. Gamora is my favorite Guardian. Hands down. She is so three dimensional. She tries so hard and she is so much more than the deadliest woman in the galaxy. She is so complex and it is the worst pain ever to know that Peter actually kept his promise and tried to kill her to prevent her from being in the hands of her abuser again and Thanos foiled their plan, and had the fucking nerve to say, “I like him” before he took her again. 

-”It’ll kill you.” “Only if I die.” “…yes, that’s what killing you means.” 

-The battle of Wakanda. Motherfucker. This is some A+++ motherfucking good shit hurr. What always gets me hype as hell is Cap and T’Challa sprinting down the goddamn hill at 80 mph and I just can’t even handle that shit because it was so good and satisfying. Everything about this battle was incredible.

-The battle on Titan. Same thing. It’s so creative and well crafted and amazing. You feel every blow. You flinch. You want them to beat that son of a bitch but he’s just so fucking strong. It is an incredibly engaging fight, man. Hoo boy. 

-Thor’s entrance to the battle of Wakanda. I distinctly remember the entire audience going absolutely apeshit during this scene the night Infinity War premiered. Like the first Avengers, I saw it three times in theaters, and two out of the three times, the crowd went fucking wild. That was so fucking satisfying, man, as are the neat little scenes of levity with Cap introducing himself to Groot and Cap and Thor remarking on each other’s changes in appearance. It was so pure and good and perfect.      

-Cap squaring up with Thanos. I. Can’t. Breathe. It was so powerful. Like the above scene of “we don’t trade lives,” this is why we love Captain America. Why we love Steve Rogers. This man, this mortal human man, took one goddamn fucking look at that twelve foot all powerful alien giant and said, “Not today, bitch.” Steve fucking Rogers stood there and took it. He put his life on the goddamn line for Wanda, and for Vision, and for the rest of the universe, and he actually held that goddamn line for a moment. The incredulous look on Thanos’ face is what seals it. He is utterly confused that this little man is actually holding him back, that this mere mortal doesn’t give a fuck that he can’t overpower him, but he is giving it his all because that is who he is. Steve will not quit. Steve will not falter. Steve will die doing what’s right and that is one of the most moving things in the whole MCU, imo. He just planted his feet and said, “No, you move.” I know we saw that scene in the trailer, but it was so unbelievable to see it in context that Cap gave it everything he had trying to protect Wanda and the rest of the universe, and I still get choked up just thinking about that shit. 

Welp, you asked for it and now you have it. I told you I was gonna rave, man. God bless anyone who actually read this nonsense. Marvel had me at hello with these characters and they have way too much sway over my emotions, as you can see above. Ten years, man. Ten years. 

[the-sapphire-general]

50 Random Facts About Me

1. I know I mentioned this in a previous post I made, but I might as well bring it here. Rouge the Bat is one of my favorite female Sonic character (with Cream being another character I love because bunnies are cute!). I always liked her. She knows what she wants, she's independent, and she's the reason why I gradually became interested in gems in the first place. Too bad I can never get any real ones. XD Too expensive. And contrary to popular (yet misguided belief), she's not oversexualized or objectified. Since when were her assets emphasized? Never. Sure she's sexy, but that's not a bad thing if handled correctly. One, Sega treats her as an individual just like everybody else in the Sonic games, and two, Sonic the Hedgehog is a series for all ages. If you want fan service (hopefully not too much), you won't find any in this franchise.

2. I am very emotional. It's not something I don't usually share because sometimes I can be ashamed of it, but it's true. I'm so emotional, which can range to being rather temperamental (especially if I'm not in a good mood), or being prone to crying when others yell at me. Not always, might I add. It just depends on how much they yell, what the reason is, or who the person is, which can be painful if it's a friend, a family member, or my boyfriend. I hold back my tears often, and not just when others yell at me, because I don't like crying in public. It makes me feel humiliated and it makes me feel that nobody will care if I cry, so I can be rather cold sometimes in real life. Well not cold, but calm and collected, which I am not when I'm emotionally overwhelmed. I've gotten better at controlling my emotions, but I am bound to lose it depending on the circumstances.

3. Most girls wear make-up and get dolled up and stuff, but I don't do that. I don't shop for tons of clothes for hours, and make-up is something I rarely wear, and I mean extremely rare. However, I am not a hardcore tomboy. I do like feminine stuff, so I'm between a girly girl and a tomboy, but being at a clothing store for endless hours and having to dress up all the time annoys and bores me. My family gave up convincing me to do those things because they finally got the message to just let me be myself, and they accepted me for who I am, much to my relief. I don't believe all men focus on looks first, which I can tell is the primary reason appearance is emphasized for women, even if it irritates me due to those beliefs causing my insecurities as I got older. It's also a reason why I loathe beauty pageants. Not all men focus on a woman's looks. My boyfriend didn't. He focused more on my personality. Fun fact: I haven't watched the entire Naruto series since I started it not too long ago, but he compared me to Hinata Hyuuga! From what I've seen in the anime so far, she's cute! :D She reminds me of myself. Damn, I am so shy. lol Anyway, back to the topic. Sure, I do dress up sometimes, but it's not a requirement. It doesn't help that a former friend even forced me to be super girly, and I wound up defying her. That didn't go well, and the friendship ended partly for that reason. She didn't get the message that I can't be changed by pushing me into doing things. Girls come in different shapes and sizes, so just let them be and shut up. lol

4. This is more of a confession than a simple random fact, but as a Crash Bandicoot fan, people probably think I completed the original trilogy 100%. Okay, I hate to admit this, but I never reached 100% completion on all of them. Crash Bandicoot and Cortex Strikes Back yes, but I never reached 100% (or 105%) in Warped. Back then, I was a coward who didn't want to face the challenge so I never bothered to collect everything...until now. In Crash N. Sane Trilogy, I have completed Warped 100%/105% this time. The relics were a pain, especially getting the first batch platinum relics (which I gave up and pursed gold relics), but I did it!

5. A silly fact, but this is one @cellarhapsodos will enjoy reading because she's the friend I should thank for introducing me to one of the latest video game villains in the Final Fantasy franchise. Ardyn Izunia from Final Fantasy 15. It's an amusing story. Months before FF15, I heard of him and saw a few pictures of him online. The main villain wasn't revealed at the time, but I assumed if Ardyn was the one that was claimed to beat all the previous villains before him, I would hate him. lol I know, it's stupid! As a Sephiroth fan, I found it threatening that Square Enix was trying to outdo Sephiroth. I don't give a shit about Kefka, but Sephiroth???? I haven't played a lot of Final Fantasy, so I don't know about the other villains except for their names like Kefka, Seymour, Kuja, Ultimecia, Caius, etc., but that's not the point. I'm such a Sephiroth fangirl! Anyway, fast forward to after FF15 was released, and my friend fell in love with Ardyn. Now that I knew Ardyn was the real villain, I hated him. Yeah, stupid I know, but I didn't like him despite that I didn't play the game. I had plans to buy it to actually play a Final Fantasy game as opposed to how I got into Final Fantasy 7, but I couldn't get it because I couldn't afford it at the time. So a few months passed after its release, but before I actually played it, for some reason Ardyn started to catch my attention. I acted all irritated and stuff, but the growing curiosity grew as time passed. I started to find him attractive, much to my dismay. Being shallow about it, I didn't want to like him because of Sephiroth. But in time, I surrendered to my growing feelings, which rose higher as I played the game and got to know him. I knew a little bit about him before starting it thanks to my friend considering how much she loves him to the point of roleplaying as him. So you can see how my feelings started to grow even before I started the game. His personality captured my attention, and I fell in love hard! Just like with Sephiroth, I couldn't stop thinking about him, and after finishing the game not too long ago, I can call myself an official Ardyn fan. So to sum it up, I hated Ardyn but helplessly fell in love with him. As for Ardyn beating Sephiroth by popularity, I won't like it if he did beat him. I don't even know whether or not he did. Should it even matter? I mean, it doesn't mean Ardyn beat Sephiroth in my book. I won't start hating Sephiroth. I love him too much to let him go. I even noticed that Sephiroth was inspiration for Ardyn. How could I not? The wing on his arm gave it away, they both wear black, and they are both tragic characters. lol So thank you so much @cellarhapsodos for introducing me to this sexy man of no consequence.

6. Speaking of Final Fantasy villains, my boyfriend introduced me to Sephiroth. Love at first sight struck! When I heard his voice for the first time ever, my heart fluttered like crazy. No, it wasn't Lance Bass' take on Sephiroth, and to be honest, I don't like that one. So thank goodness George Newbern took over. Anyway, I fell madly in love with Sephiroth, and did everything I could to get to know him better. I admit I got more than I bargained for, and my boyfriend was right when he told me the exact same thing. He and his friends took note of how he's my polar opposite. Correction, he's my NEAR polar opposite. They fail to see it, but Sephiroth and I do have some things in common. We're calm and collected (when not overwhelmed), intelligent, and quiet. We keep our emotions to ourselves as best as possible, can come off as cold to others, and have a few friends but they are close friends (well, Sephiroth had friends). We're both misunderstood to an extent. Others saw Sephiroth as just a cold and distant man before he became insane, so I can relate. People think I'm cold and distant until they get to know me, and it kind of hurts when they assume that or other things about me. Sephiroth is also an outcast because of what he said in Crisis Core about how he always knew he was different. That hit me hard because I feel like an outcast too, even within my own group of friends. Now he doesn't think that way anymore after the Nibelheim Incident took place. Or does he still think that way but in secret? I don't know. Finally, we were both betrayed by certain people. I was only betrayed by one, but even that managed to feel like tons of people betrayed me, so Sephiroth and I know who our "traitors" are and we hate them. Though in Sephiroth's case, it applies to those who didn't even do anything to him, but whatever. I still can't believe my real-life friends fail to see that we aren't complete polar opposites.. And I think one of them doesn't see me being paired with Sephiroth because he suggested Vincent Valentine would be a better match, which annoyed me. Vincent is pretty cool and he is another crush that I have, but Sephiroth is the fictional Final Fantasy man I love. Opposites attract! :3

7. I HATE matchmaking! This is from a past experience back in high school when my former friend decided to play matchmaker. Unfortunately, she tried to match me up with a guy who was already in a relationship. I was furious, and I wasn't sure whether or not she did it on purpose or that she didn't know, but either way she acted like a bitch when I called her out on it, another reason why our friendship died. I wound up hating matchmaking ever since because I didn't trust anyone to pair me up with someone anymore. And also because I don't enjoy people pairing me up with someone of their choice. I met my boyfriend and chose him on my own. It's my relationship, not theirs.

8. I am a feminist. Regarding this, I wish to get this off my chest. I can't stand how people have twisted feminism. Now I get that everyone has their own definition of feminism and what it means to them, but I don't like some of the things that are said. If a female character falls in love, it's bad. If they like girly stuff, it's bad. If they dress sexy, it's bad. If they get captured, it's bad. Getting captured doesn't have to necessarily be bad. As long as they aren't only known as damsels-in-distress, then they are fine. Okay, I like Princess Peach, but if you play the games besides the ones where she gets captured, she can be pretty cool. I also heard she's amazing in the old Mario comics!  

Oh! Speaking of damsels-in-distress, here's this link:

https://www.reddit.com/r/KotakuInAction/comments/2p41oh/did_you_know_the_damsel_in_distress_trope_has_a/

I know this may be debatable, but it got me thinking that tropes can be used correctly and not come off as bad. However, that doesn't mean I'll be making all my female characters damsels-in-distress! lol However, I don’t mind the trope now after watching this video:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_rLfENrnsoQ&index=5&list=PLIYmMkCOWcQf7IN0x7iijVvZ-P5ZIm0xn&t

Anyway, not all female characters have to be absolute badasses who can fight, use weapons, or beat the crap out of enemies with their physical prowess. Whatever happened to writing interesting female characters? A strong female character means a well-written character, not just a woman who is physically strong and able to fight. What, so all female characters have to be physically strong, never get into trouble, not be girly, and never fall in love to be approved? Come on! >_< There's more to a female character than that. Women come in all shapes and sizes, with different personalities, flaws, backstories, and looks, which also includes sexy women. It's okay for a woman to be sexy, just as long as their assets aren't the only focus of their character. And what is wrong with falling in love? Yes, women don't need men to be happy, but what if a woman wants a man? Wanting a man and needing a man are two different things. In addition, what if a woman is NOT heterosexual? Is it still bad for an LGBTQ+ woman to fall in love? Not all female characters are involved in a love story, by the way, but I don't have a problem if love is involved. Romance novels are something that I love so much, for example. *sigh* One of my friends was right about the controversies regarding the dark side of feminism, and I blame the feminazis. I still consider myself a feminist, nevertheless. The point is I am more open when it comes to this sort of thing, but that doesn't mean I don't have limits regarding how women are portrayed. I have my own definition of feminism, so I'll just leave it at that.

9. I am a chocoholic! I just can't resist not having chocolate often, and I eat anything with chocolate more than other types of sweets. Don't get me wrong, I love sweets in general, but anything that contains chocolate is what I will automatically choose to eat. lol Except for Lindt's chili-flavored chocolate. I hate spicy foods, so that's the only kind of chocolatey treat I will not eat.

10. I used to be uncomfortable with doing shippings that involve my fictional crushes. I say "used to be" because it's not the case anymore...sort of. I guess you can say jealousy got in the way, or because I hate the shippings that include my favorite guys, but little by little, I'm warming up to it. For example, in private roleplays, I roleplayed as Sephiroth and he was in a relationship with another female character (won't say her name), and another roleplay was about him being with Ardyn. Yes, Ardyn Izunia! And to be honest, I have fun with those pairings. That doesn't mean I'll do whatever shipping. No way am I ever doing SonAmy! I'm sorry, but picturing myself doing a roleplay of that pairing makes me cringe. It's my least favorite Sonic shipping (next to Sonadow), and I have several more shippings from other games, shows, etc. that I hate as well. I'm taking baby steps, but I'll always have my personal limits regarding shippings. It doesn't mean I'm willing to allow shippings in my character blogs. I might change my mind but who knows.

11. I must confess this. I hate constructive criticism. Back then, I was horrible at taking it, and I have improved a lot over the years, but I still hate constructive criticism today. I know I shouldn't take it personally, but it does hurt. I can't help it. In my poetry class, everyone had to read their poems during workshops where groups of people had to listen and give feedback to each other's poems. At first I was doing okay until one of my poems received a lot of constructive criticism. One specific poem received it the most, and to me it felt like my poem was shot down. The reason it hurt a lot is because that particular poem means a lot to me. They weren't being mean, but it still bothered me. If I had chosen another poem I had for that day, it would have hurt worse because "Angel of Darkness" is even more personal. It's a love poem that I never took to any of the workshops in class. I just couldn't do it. I revised it myself instead because I wanted to make sure it stayed true to my feelings. As for the poem I took to class, my friend reviewed the same poem but I managed to handle her comments better. She was honest, but I took it better than the comments I received in class. I did learn from the feedback, however. I still struggle to not take things like this personally, but I'm trying my best to change that.

12. I was accused of cheating on a test back in elementary school. It was a ridiculous incident! Being the confused and innocent twelve-year-old, I didn't know why the teacher thought I cheated. I know better than to sneak a glance at another student's test, and when I told her I didn't cheat, she didn't listen. Even the other students agreed that I didn't cheat, but she didn't listen to them either. She then told me that she wanted to talk to my parents the next day. I was angry about the false accusation. Not once did I ever cheat my whole life, yet she believed it and even told a few more teachers, humiliating me in the process. I didn't even bother to tell my parents because I didn't do anything. There's a thing called studying. I didn't cheat, I studied for the test. What's weird is on the next day, the teacher wasn't there to ask me if I told my parents she wanted to talk to them. In fact, I never saw her again. I don't know why she did it. Maybe she hated me, I don't know. But it was uncalled for and it hurt.. Damn bitch. Hopefully she got busted over the lie and that's why she never came back. I bet she got fired for it.

13. A few years back, there were a couple of times I wondered what it would be like if I were male instead of female. I was just curious, but someone thought that I was secretly transgender, which annoyed me. It was just curiosity. I never said I wanted to change my gender or felt like I was meant to be born male. I am happy to be a female. Sheesh, people's assumptions vex me.

14. My favorite YouTube channels are Kelly Eden, HorrorStudio1, Cute Mario Bros, AnimeBroMii, JcentsignLProduction, Markiplier, Capitalist, Jacksepticeye, and Nathan Sharp. Kelly is all about cuteness and I just love watching her videos. Plus, she loves Sephiroth too! :D And for CMB and AnimeBroMii, I adore plush videos! I find them entertaining, and I don't care if others find it weird. I find them cute and fun! But SuperMarioLogan is a channel I hate, though. I don't like all plush channels. JcentsignLProduction, Markiplier, Capitalist, and Jacksepticeye make me laugh hard! XD They are hilarious and worth watching to cheer me up! And Nathan...Need I say more??? He is an amazing singer! Oh my gosh, so hot! He also sings for Sephiroth, or "Sephy", in the "Big Bad Bosses" music videos "I'm The Boss" and "Angel".

15. All my life, I've had people who bullied me for no reason. To name one, I once knew a girl in first grade that hated me for no real reason. She was snobbish, vain, and just plain rude. I think she was jealous of me because she only picked on me, or maybe she was a bully to anyone. She stopped suddenly when I told my mom about it, and the bullying never happened again. I get that people can get jealous of others. I get jealous myself, but I won't bully them because of that.

16. Is it weird that I used to be threatened by my boyfriend's gaming skills? When we met, I witnessed how he owned his friends in Super Smash Bros. Brawl. My jealousy grew when I found out he's a master at Sonic games. His friend confirmed that he played all of them. As a Sonic fan, I felt threatened and jealous. Of course, I never thought of myself as a master at Sonic games, but it made me envy him. I had the stupid assumption that I wasn't good enough, but in time I got over it and realized I'm a great gamer regardless of whether or not I perform flawless gaming sessions or ones where I make mistakes and struggle to achieve my goals.

17. My favorite childhood cartoons are Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends, Yin Yang Yo!, Atomic Betty, Ed, Edd, and Eddy, Samurai Jack (which finally got the proper ending it deserved in May 2017. I'll miss that show.), Jackie Chan Adventures, Xiaolin Showdown, Winx Club (4kids version. Seasons 1-3. Future seasons after that are terrible.), Justice League (and Unlimited), The Powerpuff Girls (original version), Fairly OddParents (only seasons 1-9), and Kim Possible. Now that I think about it, not a lot of cartoons have been good in recent years. But I do enjoy some of the current shows and have a glimmer of hope with a an upcoming one, the DuckTales reboot. I watched several episodes of the original since my brothers grew up watching it, although I never watched the whole series. The series premiere was so cool! Adventure Time and Steven Universe are the best shows on Cartoon Network, and I'm going to miss AT very much when it's over in 2018. I hope SU still lasts a little longer. There's too many unanswered questions and still more to cover! The other current shows I like but have to catch up on are Star vs The Forces of Evil, The Amazing World of Gumball, and The Loud House. I used to watch Regular Show, but I abandoned it because it just didn't seem good to me anymore. I found CJ annoying and she's partially the reason why I stopped. I thought of her as rather abusive in a way. Glad Mordecai never married her. Oh! And I can never forget to include Sonic Boom on my list of shows I currently like and watch. It's my favorite show on CN because hello! I'm a Sonic fan! :D I even have a favorite phrase from an episode: "Faster!! Faster!!! FASTER!!! DO IT!!!"

18. My favorite anime are Sonic X (yeah deal with it, it's been part of my childhood), Black Butler, Pretty Cure, Future Diary, Descendants of Darkness, Devil May Cry, Space Dandy, Kirby: Right Back At Ya!, and Inuyasha. I'll try out new anime and return to Death Note soon because I never finished that one. No, I'm not watching the live-action movie they made. They butchered it far too much, and I'm better off watching something that's worth my time.

19. I like Bubsy Bobcat. Yes, this is a controversial fact, and I'm aware of it. I'm pretty much a new fan. I got his first two games on Steam a long time ago and thanks to the idea of installing Windows on my Mac, I managed to start playing them recently. I can see why people hate it, but I can't seem to hate it myself. Sure I died over twenty times in just the first level, for example, but I still persevere. It's mainly because I'm accepting the challenge in video games, even if there's challenge from beginning to end. Lol However, like everybody else, I HATE Bubsy 3D. And yes, I'm going to buy Bubsy: The Woolies Strike Back. Don't try to stop me! XD

20. One of my middle school teachers used to be one of my favorites back in 7th grade. Then it all went downhill when he vanished. I was confused at first until it was discovered that...I honestly can't remember. He was either a pedophile or he owned child pornography. Maybe both since...yeeeeeeah. He went to jail for who knows how long, and the news was all over school. It was a shock! He seemed like a nice guy who wasn't overly strict compared to most of the teachers. It just goes to show that you can't judge a book by its cover. It still shakes me up to this day remembering that.

21. I was accused of being a lesbian several times throughout middle school. Just like with the time someone assumed I was transgender, I was irritated. They simply assumed that just because I didn't date any guys often. One, I'm not a whore. Two, I wasn't that determined to find a guy at the time. And three, guys didn't notice me at all! So when I started longing for romance, it was hard to get attention from a guy. They either turned out to be cruel, homosexual, taken, or uninterested. You have no idea how many times I got friend zoned, and it hurt every single time! :( So yeah. I get sick of stupid assumptions like this. >_< I'm not a lesbian because I'm not always dating. Correction, I'm bisexual. People really need to not jump to conclusions and think for once. I hardly dated at all because guys never noticed me until today. I have a boyfriend now, so I just proved them wrong. And no, just because I'm bisexual doesn't mean I'm confused or will act promiscuous by dating a woman while in my relationship or do threesomes or whatever dumb stereotype that's associated with bisexuality.

22. My top 5 favorite colors are below and they each have their own individual reasons:

5. Red-Violet

Red-Violet is a recent color I grew to love. You can thank Ardyn Izunia for adding his hair color on the list. It's pretty irresistible, and I wish I could dye my hair that color. XD People would start calling me Ardyn!

4. Light Blue

Light blue, a pastel version of the classic blue, is a cute color I adore and it's one of my favorites out of all the thousands of shades of blue.

3. Yellow

Originally my second favorite color, yellow is one that I adore very much, so it's nonetheless on a high rank. The color of happiness and joy, it's pretty obvious how much I love it. :)

2. Black

I was always indifferent to black until I met my boyfriend. He loves black, and surprisingly he got me into black myself. That's why it's highly ranked, and thanks to Sephiroth from FF7, it reached the second spot.

1. Blue

Blue has been my favorite color for nearly 14 years (and still counting), and it will always be my most favorite color. It's mainly because of Sonic the Hedgehog that my original favorite color pink was replaced by blue and because blue is just a great color. :D Blue rules!

23. Besides bunnies, I love all kinds of animals, but my favorite ones are hedgehogs, bats, birds, cats, and chinchillas. I find all of them cute! I always loved them, but bats are a recent addition after my friend and I did a roleplay of an alternate universe where Vincent Valentine can turn into a small, fluffy black bat. I just found Bat Vincent adorable, and so I started to like bats. And one of my FF7 characters wound up having pet bats too.

24. I have a fear of doing anything in front of an audience. Like singing. I like to sing, and not a lot of people know about it, not even my own family because I never sing in public. I did sing for my boyfriend twice, but those were very rare. I always sing in private due to my fear. Stage fright. Even thinking about singing for an audience terrifies me. I'm starting to think this is a phobia because one time I had to read poems for my class, and I was extremely nervous. I was a wreck all morning, even after class was over. My hands were trembling a little, I felt nauseous so I barely ate anything before class, and my heart beat faster once I stood in front of the whole class. Just having everyone watching me made me feel worse, it's a miracle I didn't just dash out of class and head back home. I wanted to run, but I didn't. I honestly can't do anything for an audience because of that. I get nervous, insecure, frightened, and it's just nerve-wracking. Next time I'll just make sure not to do that sort of thing. It's not worth it.

25. Like all Sonic fans, I know about Sonichu. I knew for a long time, but I never actually looked up the comic. Ever. It wasn't until I found it on a YouTube channel called CorruptedGamingShow. Those videos were a roller coaster ride. Unoriginal, unimaginative, inconsistent, downright ridiculous and disturbing, and many other things that the comic is but there's an infinite amount to list, I see why it's notorious in the Sonic fandom. I pretty much watched every single video of the guys reading this comic, and if it wasn't for their commentary, I wouldn't have made it past the first video. Also, I watched the series twice, so either I go back to them because I love the guys who host the channel or I'm secretly a masochist but I just don't know it yet. XD Oh, and I do know about an infamous comic by AkaiDalia. I may have gone through Sonichu twice, but I didn't say I was crazy to go over her content. Her fan art is enough to make me want to get brain bleach. >_<

26. Aside from chocolate, my favorite foods are chicken, ice cream, cheesecake, jelly beans, apples, tacos, and McDonald's Sausage Egg and Cheese McGriddles and Big Breakfasts. And Denny's amazing breakfast dishes! Yeah! As for my favorite beverages, they are HI-C, lemonade, Kool-Aid, Vitamin Water, Powerade, and Gatorade.

27. My favorite video games of all time are Sonic Colors, Sonic Generations, Final Fantasy 7, Final Fantasy 15, Crash N. Sane Trilogy, Super Mario Galaxy 1 and 2, Kirby Mass Attack, Undertale, Crash Team Racing, Crash Bash, Devil May Cry 4, and Sonic and All-Stars Racing Transformed. Of course, the list is subject to change as I check out other games, from ones I haven't tried yet to upcoming ones that will be released in the future. :D Like Sonic Forces! I just know it will be a new favorite of mine! My character Sorina will join the resistance. My baby is all grown up! Lol

28. My birthstone is the topaz. Actually November has two. The citrine. :3 I have two birthstones!

29. This is a pretty fun fact. I didn't get into Devil May Cry until a while later after I saw a single copy of the HD Collection of the first three games for PS3. Every time I went to the store, it was just sitting there. I was curious whenever I saw it because of Dante (whom I didn't know by name yet), but I never got the game until I finally bought it after a month. Lol It was worth spending $20! Coincidentally, I discovered my boyfriend likes Devil May Cry as well. We got closer than ever! :D We are at odds because of our favorite characters. I love Dante while he likes Vergil, and finds him more powerful than Dante and blah blah blah. Dante still kicked his butt. Though I can't say the same about me beating my boyfriend when we challenged each other in Marvel vs Capcom. He pulverized me as Vergil!

30. I love Disney movies! Many people do, but I wanted to say that. It's part of my childhood, and I adore Disney princesses. :3 My favorite Disney movies are Mulan, Frozen, and Moana, and my favorite characters are Mulan, Elsa, Anna, Moana (they are the heroines in my favorite movies lol), basically all the Disney Princesses, Gaston, Kronk, and Yzma.

31. Everyone knows me as the kind and sweet woman with a love for anything cute and adorable, has a love for video games, is crazy about men (real or fictional), and is both a girly girl and a tomboy. But even I have my dark side, so if someone dares to provoke me in any way or those I care about in a way I don't like, I assure you they will regret it. If someone tries to mess with me or my friends and family, that idiot is out of here. Treat me with kindness and respect, or don't talk to me at all. lol Okay I got dark for a second! My apologies.

32. Sonic and Sephiroth are my role models since I consider them as my two sides. Sonic represents my kind, selfless, and friendly side as I do my best to put others ahead of myself. And I have a personal desire to become a hero somehow. Sephiroth represents my hidden dark side whenever I am in a very, very bad mood and my temper, and I can be too serious sometimes. And I can be cruel to those I hate, which fortunately are no longer in my life but I still loathe them. lol No I do not hate humanity, so no need to run! Sonic and Sephiroth are two of my favorite characters, and I love them very much.

33. I cosplayed once back in high school. Due to the bad memories that followed that involved my former friend, I don't have pictures, but I cosplayed as Sebastian Michaelis from Black Butler. I never cosplayed again because of her, but if I were to cosplay again, my would-be choices are Sonic the Hedgehog (Sonic the Hedgehog), Sephiroth (FF7), Dante (Devil May Cry), Princess Peach and Princess Rosalina (Mario), Ardyn Izunia (FF15), Nine Asfel (Last Rebellion), Coco Bandicoot (Crash Bandicoot), Kairi and Axel (Kingdom Hearts), Mettaton (Undertale), Yuno Gasai (Future Diary), and L (Death Note).

34. Last Rebellion is one of the games that I like and own, regardless of the poor reviews. I don't love it the way it is exactly, but I do see the potential it could have had if it were handled better. It's a game for the PS3, and I think it's very rare nowadays. I first rented it on GameFly and I admit it's not an excellent game, but I do like some parts of it. I frequently imagine what could have been rather than what actually was, and the game is a bit of a guilty pleasure.

35. Several of my pet peeves include hypocrisy, others accusing me of things that are blatantly false, people mocking Sonic and Sephiroth right in front of my face, people mocking me (who wouldn't tolerate that?), control freaks, and being forced into doing things. The more someone tries to make me, say, dress provocatively, the more I rebel. True story. I was almost forced by others who wanted to give me a makeover. Sorry, but tops that are far too revealing, micro miniskirts, high heel sandals, and fake breasts aren't my thing. I want to be a beautiful woman, not a hooker.

36. My favorite book series that isn't a romance series is "Daughters of the Moon". I read them way back in high school. The series is about four teenage girls named Vanessa, Catty, Serena, and Jimena (Tiana later becomes the fifth girl) as they discover that they are goddesses, Daughters of the Moon, and must fight against evil. I won't say anything else just in case you guys want to check out the series. I honestly recommend it.. I remember how I was deeply immersed throughout all thirteen books. Also, check out the Lunar Chronicles! I finished reading the first book, "Cinder", and it's an amazing twist to Cinderella. The other books in the series include other fairy tale characters that get the Chronicles treatment. Looking forward to reading those!

37. I have a few quirks, one being that I adjust my glasses whenever I'm nervous or timid. Another quirk I have is I like to give my Sonic plushie when I'm alone in my room. Yes, I have a crush on Sonic the Hedgehog! He's been my main crush since I was a kid.  >.< Please don't judge me! My next quirk is common, I bite my nails when I'm nervous. Lately I've been improving on that because I want to start painting them.

38. I have several fears/phobias. Besides stage fright, I'm afraid of spiders (or any bug except for butterflies), heights, water (can't swim), sharp objects, and humiliating myself in public. Spiders scare the crap out of me and I can't even hold a sharp item such as a knife without feeling scared that I might accidentally stab myself and others.  

39. I'm torn over whether or not I want to have children (but lately I'm leaning more towards not having any after learning more about the process of pregnancy and so on), but IF I were to have kids, I already got names. For a boy, I would choose Dante, and for a girl, Sorina, after my Sonic character. If I had more than one or two, the other names I like are Crystalline, Christopher, Zack, Alister, Jason, Emma, Aria, and Jewel.

40. Getting out of my comfort zone isn't easy for me. Some of my friends are aware of this, and although I am trying my best on this, it's still not easy. I don't try things often because I just don't want to try them or I don't know if I'll like them or I'm just nervous. I did a few times, and I wound up hating Indiana Jones, Lord of the Rings, and soap operas. I would rather get out of my comfort zone at my own pace, and being forced to do things just makes it difficult. I've gotten into trouble with my former friend over this, and she didn't understand that forcing me to try things isn't what friends do. I'm not saying I'm extremely stubborn. I will try things if others recommend them. The keyword is "recommend", as in suggest them but don't drag me into them. I'll give things a chance if I want, which is what I did with LOTR, but in the end watching most of the trilogy was boring. Those who are fans of the books/movies, I'm truly sorry, but it's just not my thing. Not even Harry Potter, which was something I tried out of pure curiosity, and I was bored throughout the entire first movie. So please, let me expand my experiences at my own pace and respect that I may not like certain things. ^^; It isn't fun being forced into doing something, or else I just won't enjoy whatever it is I'm told to try.

41. I almost became a fan of the Fifty Shades of Grey trilogy. I bought the first book after hearing that it's an erotic romance (and I'm such a kinky woman >//////<). But then I realized the abusive themes going on during the first book. I never finished it, and I got rid of the book after reading the reviews about them, and they gave me more information about the abuse between the two characters. I can't stand abuse, and I hated realizing I wasted over $10 on that kind of book. Fifty Shades of Abuse? No thank you. >.> I'll stick with Debbie Macomber's romance novels. Or any romance novel that has actual well-written romance and not toxic relationships. Basically anything but FSOG and Twilight!42. I'm going to mention Sephiroth again, but believe it or not, he's the one who got me interested in psychology a few years back. It was at a point where I wanted to get inside his head, which I can say must have been a precursor to my eventual desire to create my own Sephiroth blog. :D I took a few psychology classes to learn more about the subject, and Criminal Personalities was my favorite one, mainly because it involved the mention of criminals. We had to do a paper where we had to diagnose a criminal, either a real person or a fictional character, with one of the ten personality disorders to show how much we understood what we covered during class as opposed to actually believing the person/character actually has a disorder. I obviously chose Sephiroth for my paper, and I got an A. An A! I have never felt so happy in my entire life when it comes to this! I never got an A on a paper (I always kept getting B's or C's), so this meant a lot to me. I still have my paper online. If you're curious, I wrote that Sephiroth has the potential to have either Antisocial Personality Disorder or Schizoid Personality Disorder. But due to missing criteria considering how much of his backstory pre-Crisis Core is still vague to an extent, either diagnosis is considered unlikely. So yeah. Sephiroth got me an A! XD I also noticed some people have assumed Sephiroth may or may not have autism, but I don't know. Random fact: Even Sonic is assumed to have ADHD, but again I'm not certain. What do you think? To be honest, even if Sonic and Sephiroth actually have ADHD and autism, respectively, it won't change how I feel about them. I'll still love them. Same with L from Death Note if he's autistic. And any character that's believed to have some type of disorder. Personally, I don't see these headcanons as my own about these characters, but I respect those who do have them.

43. My favorite singers are Selena (may she rest in peace, she died so young ;_;), Bentley Jones, Hilary Duff, Ellie Goulding, and Gackt. Selena is obvious, her music was fantastic! My favorite song of hers is "I Could Fall In Love". Bentley Jones sings several Sonic songs, and my favorite song is "So Much More". Hilary Duff is a childhood singer I just adore, and I went to one of her concerts! My favoite songs from her are "I Am", "Rock This World", and "All About Me". I consider "I Am" to be my theme song. It just seems to fit me. Ellie Goulding is a singer I love, and she sings my most favorite love song of all time, "Love Me Like You Do". Gackt is my first favorite Jpop singer, and oh gosh, his voice is hot! Favorite song: "Vanilla". I would say why, but the translation of the lyrics will explain my reasons better. *blush*

44. My favorite numbers are 1 and 100. Despite my feelings of being an outcast, to me the number 1 means there is only one of me. Everybody is unique and I am beginning to accept that about myself and not feel like I don't fit in anywhere. It's still a long journey, but in time I won't feel like an outcast anymore. As for 100, I just like big numbers, and that one is my favorite of them all.

45. My nickname that my family calls me is Bunny. Another nickname I gave to myself is Jan. I love bunnies, so the first nickname is self-explanatory. lol Jan is short for my name, Janice, and it sounds cool in my opinion.

46. I was once paired up with someone in class as part of an assignment. Each pair had to create a PowerPoint of a band and present it later (and you know presentations give me major anxiety). Unlike everybody else, I didn't get a say on the subject because the stupid teacher didn't talk to me about it. I was absent when the assignment was revealed, and she didn't even talk to me about it and let my partner choose the band, which went against the other pairs that were free to talk about which band to write about and present. It also didn't help that as my freshman year of high school continued, the teacher kept giving me a bad time (even deliberately giving me average to bad grades despite doing very well in class). I have a feeling she hated me or she was racist considering that I stood out from the rest of class. I was bullied countless time by a bunch of jackasses, and the teacher did NOTHING to stop it. Hmph. Bitch.

47. I don't drink soda. No really, I don't like any kind of soda, or any kind of beverage with gas. The gas irritates me, the feeling of the gas in my mouth just annoys me, so I stay away from any fizzy beverages. Although Mountain Dew is an exception after my boyfriend introduced me to a certain kind. But other than that, no soda for me. I'll stick with my Kool-Aid, lemonade, Gatorade, basically any beverage that doesn't have gas.

48. Recently I found out that Phil Hartman died back in 1998. Okay, I never knew him outside of the movie "Jingle All the Way", but I NEVER knew he was murdered by his third wife. Ever. I found out in July when I was on YouTube and watched a video about video game mascots that got canceled for messed up reasons. One of them was Blasto, a character that was voiced by Phil Hartman, whose series never made it past the first game after the tragic death of his voice actor. I know I wondered why he never showed up in movies again, but I didn't expect this. I've watched an entire playthrough of Blasto, and I admit he was a real good actor. It's sad that he died so soon.

49. I've had a YouTube channel for years, and I didn't do much on it until now with my first ever video game playthrough, Final Fantasy 15. It's still technically ongoing due to upcoming DLC and I'm going to do post-game stuff for sure, I swear! >.< I've been busy but it will happen. So yeah, FF15 started it all on my channel and it's fun to play games and upload the videos online. More playthroughs are on the way, so FF15 and Crash N. Sane Trilogy are currently my only ones, the latter also ongoing because I have yet to collect the relics for Crash 1 and 2. I'll do it hopefully in a month. Wish me luck!

50. Finally, the last thing about me is I see Sonic the Hedgehog as my hero. Ever since I was a kid, when I first watched Sonic X, I took an instant liking to him. As time went on, I began to idolize him and to be honest, he's the reason why I managed to endure such tough times growing up. I admired to the point the where I wanted to be more like him, and despite what others have said, I succeeded. I was an entirely different person way back then, and Sonic made me into the woman I am today.

I'll make a post about Sonic and how much he influenced me and so forth because I'm aware that this post you have been reading is long enough! Thank you Kelly for inspiring me to do this! You rock! :D If I make a second part of this sort of thing, I’ll make sure to not add too much. I got pretty passionate on a lot of these.

[rynnie-rynn]

Top 7 comfort films (tagged by @suecsit)

These are in no particular order and this was an INCREDIBLY difficult task. I would also like to note that I didn’t say they were all GOOD movies *coughPERCYJACKSONcough* Also I feel like talking about them so you just have to deal with my incredibly long post now.

D2 is in my honest opinion the best of the Mighty Ducks trilogy. I don’t know what else to say.

Jurassic Park is actually a really funny story. When I was in grade 4 we got a movie day at school and our class picked Jurassic Park. Anyone who knows me know I don’t do well with “scary movies” and was very terrified of having to watch the movie but was more terrified of not bringing back the permission slip and being the only kid in my class not allowed to watch the movie. My parents went out and rented the movie the night before and my family watched it and told me all the places I needed to close my eyes so I was able to watch it at school the next day. As an adult I now absolutely adore this movie. Watching this movie usually starts a domino effect of me watching all the rest of the franchise.

She’s the Man... what do I even say? I think this one quote sums it all up; “Ladies.” Amanda Bynes is a treasure.

Percy Jackson and the Sea of Monsters... all the PJ movies did the books dirty and I’ll be the first to admit it. But I enjoy the opening scene with the fall out boy song and I usually put it on to watch that and then just end up letting it play out in the background. I def. prefer this movie to the first one though.

Tron:Legacy..... My heart, my love. I once watched this movie 8 times in a row. I cannot even recall how many times I watched it in theater and IMAX 3D no less. This movie is everything to me. 

Inception.... when it first came out I refused to watch it because I was like “ugh not another Nolan movie”. I am not a fan obviously lol. But a friend owned the DVD and I lived in the middle of nowhere with nothing to do and was a closet Leo fangirl so I borrowed it and watched it. I feel like Leo really sells the movie for me. I also really enjoy Joseph Gordon Levitt and Tom  Hardy.

I have no idea why I became so attached to Star Trek. I know I went twice in one night the first time I saw it. I went with my dad and then my friend was like “Do you wanna see Star Trek?” and I was like “DO I!” so yeah went back to the theater lol. I actually love all three movies so so much and when I watch one I usually watch the other two immediately after or within the next couple of days.

I tag anyone who wants to participate!

[ladyherenya]

As the month went on, my choices became more and more obviously comfort-reading-ish.

Reread: Pretty Face by Lucy Parker.

Total: thirteen novels (includes four audiobooks and one reread).

Cover thoughts: Unintentional colour scheme – blue to orange to purple. The Grandest Bookshop in the World is lovely (and would have caught my attention even if the artist hadn’t posted about it on Tumblr) and This Side of Murder made me want to read the book. A Song Unheard sets off my “unconvincing violinist” radar (I don’t know why), and I’m disappointed the cover for One True Pairing doesn’t match Level Up.

Still reading: The Rose Code by Kate Quinn and Castle Charming by Tansy Raynor Roberts.

Next up: Bellewether by Susanna Kearsley.

My full reviews are on Dreamwidth and LibraryThing.

*

The Verity Kent mysteries by Anna Lee Huber:  Historical murder mysteries, set in 1919.

This Side of Murder: Verity Kent, a young war widow, is invited to a houseparty on an island off the coast of England. It would be exactly the sort of romantic mystery I like, except I expect more from such stories: stronger prose, a more vivid sense of place and/or more nuanced characterisation.  But this was was arguably successful on its own terms – likeable and entertaining. I don’t really think I should blame it for not delivering exactly what I wanted. 3 ★

Treacherous is the Night: I knew this wasn’t going to be what I wanted but I was curious about how something in Verity’s personal life developed in the aftermath of the previous book. I can’t say I paid much attention to the actual mystery. I’d read the sequels if there weren’t so many other books I wanted to read more. 2½ ★ 

*

The Grandest Bookshop in the World by Amelia Mellor: Children’s historical fantasy, set in Melbourne in 1893.

This is a mix of things I love  – Melbourne! a bookshop! eccentric family! sibling dynamics! teamwork! riddles! – and of things I find disquieting. Creepiness is not a deal-breaker for me, and I can’t pinpoint why the sinister figure making deals with children, memory loss and destruction of beloved spaces made me feel so uneasy here. 3 ★

*

The Somerset Tsunami by Emma Carroll (narrated by Katherine Press): Children’s historical, set in Somerset in the early 1600s.

I think Carroll is an excellent storyteller and this story is no exception. However, it involves two things I don’t particularly enjoy reading about in historical fiction: a natural disaster and a witch trial! 3 ★

*

Murder on Cold Street by Sherry Thomas: Historical murder mystery, set in  Victorian London. Fifth in the Lady Sherlock series, following on from The Art of Theft.

After Inspector Treadles is accused of murder, Charlotte Holmes sets out to uncover the truth. This mystery was very satisfying – tense, atmospheric and intelligent, and the investigation feels both urgent and personal. Thomas is insightful about the issues and constraints faced by a variety of women in Victorian London, and I enjoyed piecing together an increasing understanding of the characters connected to the murder, especially Treadles’ wife Alice, who has recently inherited a business. 3½ ★  *

The Shadows Over England trilogy by Roseanna M. White (narrated by Liz Pearce): Romantic historical mysteries set in 1914 during WWI. Christian fiction. Standalone sequels to A Name Unknown. 

A Song Unheard: Willa is sent to Wales to steal a cipher from the Belgium violinist. I rolled my eyes at a few things, but once I decided to just accept that Willa is a musical genius, I loved Willa’s and Lukas’ passion for music and enjoyed their banter and flirting, and I liked the chapters about Lukas’ teenage sister, Margot, who is back in Brussels. 3½ ★ 

An Hour Unspent: Barclay, ordered to discover if a clockmaker’s latest development is relevant to the war effort, befriends the clockmaker’s suffragette daughter. One of my favourite things about this trilogy has been Barclay’s large and loving found-family; I enjoyed spending more time with them. The romance was sweet, too. 3 ★ 

*

Nomad by R.J. Anderson: YA-ish fantasy, faeries and shapeshifters. Sequel to Swift.

When I read Swift in 2013, I was left feeling unsatisfied because this hadn’t been published yet and I wanted more of Ivy’s story. Well, here is more, but I really should have reread Swift first. Reading this was like picking up a book halfway through – and that’s just not the way to properly appreciate a story. 3 ★

*

Fandom Hearts by Cathy Yardley: Contemporary fandom-y romance, set near Seattle.

Level Up: Tessa needs help from her roommate Adam and colleagues to build a successful computer game in time for a fan contest. Initially the mid-2010s fandom references struck me as dated (not quite old enough to be ‘vintage’!) but then I settled into the story. More cute romances with fandom references, please.

One True Pairing: Mystics actor Jake hides from a mob of fangirls in the cafe where Hailey works. Jake’s in town for a fan convention, and Hailey soon concludes they would both benefit from a different sort of con: fake dating! A different side of fandom to Level Up, but enjoyable in its own way.

*

Ayesha at Last by Uzma Jalaluddin (narrated by Lara Sawalha): Contemporary Pride and Prejudice retelling about Muslims in Canada.

Yet another retelling, but it definitely – and deftly – justifies its existence. I thought it was lovely. Because it just draws on bits and pieces of Pride and Prejudice, I couldn’t predict how lots of things would unfold, and there was room in the story to explore Ayesha’s poetry and her relationship with her grandparents, and Khalid’s dealings with his Islamaphobic boss. 4 ★ 

*

Love at First by Kate Clayborn: Contemporary romance, set in Chicago.

Nora and Will have both inherited apartments in the same building, and Nora enlists help from neighbours to convince Will  that he can’t turn his apartment into a short-term rental. I love Clayborn’s writing and I enjoyed reading this, but I didn’t like it as much as her other books. I’m not sure why… Personal preference? 3 ★

[bookishreviewsblog]

Cassandra Clare: Queen of Air and Darkness (The Dark Artifices #3) | Lara

Dark secrets and forbidden love threaten the very survival of the Shadowhunters in Cassandra Clare’s Queen of Air and Darkness, the final novel in the #1 New York Times and USA TODAY bestselling The Dark Artifices trilogy. What if damnation is the price of true love? Innocent blood has been spilled on the steps of the Council Hall, the sacred stronghold of the Shadowhunters. In the wake of the tragic death of Livia Blackthorn, the Clave teeters on the brink of civil war. One fragment of the Blackthorn family flees to Los Angeles, seeking to discover the source of the blight that is destroying the race of warlocks. Meanwhile, Julian and Emma take desperate measures to put their forbidden love aside and undertake a perilous mission to Faerie to retrieve the Black Volume of the Dead. What they find in the Courts is a secret that may tear the Shadow World asunder and open a dark path into a future they could never have imagined. Caught in a race against time, Emma and Julian must save the world of Shadowhunters before the deadly power of the parabatai curse destroys them and everyone they love.

It came. Finally. After all that waiting and panicking I endured for this book, I can't believe I have finally read it. For me, this was the most anticipated book of this year and I am so glad my 2018 is going to end with reading this book. I've been following Cassandra Clare's work for years and I am huuge fan of her work. I was in love with Shadow World since I read the copy of City of Bones, I got for my twelfth birthday. Words can't describe how much I love her stories and characters she created. Reading this book made me extremely happy for so many reasons and I cannot be grateful enough that she keeps writing new stuff for me to fangirl over.

This book was enormously long, I think over 900 pages. I read the Kingdom of Ash in November and I am going to take a break with long-ass books and read some fluffy teen fiction for the rest of the year. But, despite its length, this book was really amazing, intriguing and entertaining from first to the last page. This book was never boring. No, for one moment I didn't think "God, I wish this scene would finally be over"; whether it was some action scene, battle, revelation, Clave meeting, romantic moment or even simple interaction between characters Cassie kept me chained to my kindle. It was nearly impossible to stop reading (seriously I read this in Tokyo metro, which is practically impossible).

There was a lot of action, parallel plots, problematics, storylines, and characters that filled this story. From the beginning of the Dark Artifices series, there was more than one villain: it is a long way back when we all thought Blackthorn's only problem was Malcolm raising his lost love. Now there is Unseelie King wanting to destroy all Shadowhunters sided with Annabel, who killed Livvy and Robert and cause a great havoc in Allicante. Then there is the inside, political threat of Cohort who want to bring back old ideals and hate for all who are not Shadowhunters. After (and during) Lord of Shadows so many new problematics made a way that I was seriously concerned how will it all turn out. But all I can say Cassie did a most wonderful job developing all those plots and problematics individually and in parallel and finally bringing it all together in one big finale.

I always loved how she represented political life of Shadowhunters and work of the Clave. Like, nothing is ideal and there are always new problems, new people with questionable agendas, but the point is to change for better, no matter how small the change is.

Cassandra Clare's writing style always was and will be one of my favorite things of all time. I adore her rich descriptions with a touch of purple prose, her love stories, and characters. Most of all dialogues and interactions make me burst out laughing whether I want it or not.

She has created an impressive spectrum of characters through all these books and all of them are equally special, unique and wonderful. One of the biggest perks of reading this book is POVs. There is just so many of them, but it doesn't seem too much at all. I wanted to read, with all my heart, I wanted to see this story from the perspective of each character, whether old or new. She combined all (surviving) characters in this one story that changes everything. Of course, TDA squad has the main word and it can be easily read without knowledge of other series, but for us hardcore fans it was soo inspiring.

*this part is going to be mostly about characters and spoilers will be clearly marked for those who haven't read to skip, but if you don't want my review to change your perspective of characters and their development through the book, I suggest you skip it*

I am going to do some analysis of characters because I really feel like it, so let's start with my otp Jemma: one of my favorite couples of all times. I love Jemma from the bottom of my heart and they are really so adorable. Cassie always does a great job with love stories, but this one is especially dear to me. Just how they are there for each other since they were children and how they complete each other uwu

“I still love Emma more than I ever thought was possible. I love her more every day, and more every time I try to stop. I love her like I’m being ripped in half. And I want to cut the throats of everyone in the Cohort.”

Emma is my favorite character from the Dark Artifices and one of my all-time favorites. I always, always come to adore badass fearless girls who fight for those they love. My favorite scenes were usually those that included Emma fighting (*plot spoiler* when she confronted Zara, god that was the best thing ever).

Another amazing and my favorite male character – Julian. I just want to give a huge shoutout to this perfect boy who raised five children, took care of his sick uncle and led the whole Institute by himself. He always tended to be anti-hero(ish), but that's what I loved so much about him, that he was willing to do anything to protect his family. He is considered ruthless and cold, while he is just protective of his siblings, who have suffered a lot. Many people were confident he was going to go all anti-hero, even villain, (and he almost did, khm we know why), but I kind of knew he wouldn't. *spoiler* It was believed he will try to break all parabatai bonds, that he was that selfish, but in the end, he knew that was wrong, and he stopped Emma because he knew she was going to regret doing that. (*end of the spoiler*)

After those two comes my new otp for TWP, Kit and Ty of course. I couldn't really see all the hype about Kitty before, but after QoAaD, I am probably the most hardcore Kitty shipper ever. I mean they are perfect, ADORABLE. ! Just the way they interact, work together and solve problems makes it clear they are made for each other. It was clear Ty was having an awful time coping with Livvy's death and Kit was always there for him. Not to mention Kit is one of the most hilarious characters ever (sometimes he beat Jace, Will even).

“Funerals are always so sad,” said a woman who had introduced herself as Irina Cartwright, staring at Julian with a deep pitying stare. When he didn’t respond, she shifted her gaze to Kit. “Don’t you think?”

“I wouldn’t know,” said Kit. “My father was eaten by demons.”

The boy gave Kit a considering look that seemed to say you look familiar. Several people had done the same. Kit guessed it was because he looked like Jace, if Jace had suffered a sudden and unexpected height, muscle, and overall hotness reduction.

I mean just reading his perspective made me laugh sometimes. *spoiler* Anyway, that moment at the lake when Ty did the spell and Kit said he loved him!!! I was so so so happy. So, of course, their separation at the end of the book almost killed me, because that means 3 years without any of them and they will barely be in contact since Ty will be at Scholomance and Kit is at Jem and Tessa's… TDA just ended and I am already desperate for TWP, it's going to be a long way.

I liked Cristina's and Mark's characters a lot, too. Cristina-Emma friendship is one of the most amazing things in these books, and if it weren't for the curse, they should have been parabatai. I rooted for Cristina and Mark to get together, but Cassie decided to go for polygamous relationship between Kieran, Mark and Cristina. As much as I love her representation and diversity (she is kind of a queen when it comes to that), I hated Kierarktina. For starters I never liked Kieran, sure he had his redemption and became quite more likable, but I always found him kind of bland and annoying. Then, I can literally see no chemistry between Cristina and Kieran. Kieran and Mark, sure, they had a lot going on in the past. Cristina and Mark had fireworks going between them, but Kieran and Cristina? Nope, I felt nothing. I really didn't like three of them together and, to be honest, I felt really uncomfortable reading Kierarktina scenes.

Those were characters I wanted to point out or say something about. I love rest of them as much, especially those who were important in other series. Their appearances, interactions and contribution to the plot warmed my heart (*spoiler* especially Livia's Army when all of them worked together).

*From this point there will be spoilers and they won't be marked because I am going to comment on ending and some parts of the plot*

I am going to refer to some parts of the book and problematics that were solved one way or another.

First: Thule. I didn't see this coming, so there was no particular theory of mine about this, but a trip to Thule took a good third of this book. I wasn't entirely satisfied with it and couldn't say I actually liked it. It brought an interesting perspective on what would have happened if Clary hadn't won The Battle of the Burren, but aside from that, it wasn't of much significance. Sure, they brought back the mortal sword, but they didn't figure out anything with the curse or how to defeat the Unseelie King. I don't like concepts of parallel universes and such, so that is the reason I feel kind of bitter about that part (if it is like that, there are infinite universes and versions of characters and all could go in any direction, so what is the point anyway…). So maybe I am wrong and it was really important (it will be important for TWP for sure), but I did not like that part.

Then comes the big problem that stretches through all three books –the parabatai curse. I was eager to know how are things going play out with the curse for Julian and Emma, Cassie created an amazing plotline and mystery about the origin of parabatai. My theory was that Cortana was going to break the curse somehow, but that wasn't the case. Not even close, actually. I liked how were the effects of the curse shown and how Emma and Julian suffered not only mental but also physical changes. Yet I didn't find myself entirely happy about how things turned out. I didn't expect Julian and Emma to turn into half-giant angels in the middle of the battle and then just ? stop being parabatai?. That part is still a little bit foggy, like all that with the True Nephilim and what that has to do with parabatai. It was cool and I can't say I hate how things turned out, but I expected something a bit darker or something.

Second thing, how things got resolved with Faerie. Honestly, I expected Faeries to be of more importance in the end. The Unseelie King died in the middle of the book and his half-drunk son inherited him, so the only actual threat that was left was the Cohort. I was surprised that Ash was the weapon that caused the blight they were talking about and that was one big and quite an important point to the plot. In the end, Kieran inherited the throne of the Unseelie Court, which wasn't a big surprise and I think there ends the rivalry between Shadowhunters and the Unseelie Court. About Seelie… well, Queen fell suspiciously quiet in the second half of the book and I have this feeling she isn't done yet (which leaves another thing for The Wicked Powers).

Now I'm skipping to final battle because I have been dying to say something about that. I always enjoyed reading Clare's battle scenes, because all of them felt so inspiring and epic. One of the best scenes I have ever read is fighting between Julian, Emma and Riders of Mannan when Emma killed Fal. It was one, the last thing this book needed – an amazing battle, with all characters working together. Let's just not forget Dru, who has become one of my favorites through this book and Kit (Heir with powers!!! I already see TWP is going to be awesome). The outcome was pleasant, but not unexpectable. I knew Blackthorns and squad are going to win, but I was (pleasantly) surprised with the lack of death. After Lord of Shadows, I expected this to be a massacre, but it was less brutal. I'm not sure if I could take any of them dying.

And finally, the political outcome aka Cohort plot. As I said before I love how Cassie develops political life of Shadowhunters, as a forever changing constant that needs to be updated and fought for constantly. It had all led to the point where Horace became the Inquisitor and turned whole Council against Downworlders. After ending of Lord of Shadows, where I thought nothing could go wrong with that final plan, I was kind of anxious about Livvy's Army, but it all turned out well. Except for the Exile. When Cassie said Shadow World is going to change forever I didn't expect anything near this. I am eager to see how Clave works without Idris and I feel like this is going to be a major plotline in The Wicked Powers.

The ending of the Dark Artifices was pretty important to me and I had really high expectations for this book. Probably too high. I was hyped all year about it, so when it finally came, I expected it to be this epic book where I wouldn't be able to breathe and everything would surprise me. Which is totally unrealistic, I know, but that sense of disappointment disappeared after thinking through it and seeing how amazing this book actually was. So, all these negative comments are just small critiques or something that bugged me a bit, but all in all, I loved this book. This is probably the longest review I have ever written, so I think it is time to finish.

Cassandra Clare will remain one of my all-time favorite authors and I will never stop being so excited about her books. Can't wait for The Red Scrolls of Magic and then Chain of Gold!

Some other notes that I can’t fit in my review but have to share:

· I hate Zara more than anything I have ever hated

Zara always chose the same chair in the Inquisitor’s office. Manuel suspected it was because she liked to sit beneath the portrait of herself, so that people would be forced to gaze at two Zaras, and not just one.

· Some Kitty fluff

He made a face that was probably supposed to be scornful but was actually just cute.

“Yes, you can,” Kit whispered. “You can. You think this will make your family stronger, but it will destroy them if you bring her back. You think you can’t survive without Livvy, but you can. We will go through it together.” Kit’s face was cold; he realized he was crying. “I love you, Ty. I love you.”

Ty’s face went blank with surprise. Kit plowed on, regardless, hardly knowing what he was saying.

“She’s gone, Ty. She’s gone forever. You have to get through this. Your family will help you. I will help you. But not if you do this. Not if you do this, Ty.”

· Jemma fluff of course

So who am I to you, then?” he asked, dropping his hand.

“You are the person I have to protect until my Julian comes back to live inside you again,” she said. “I don’t want this. I want the Julian I love. You might be in the cage, Jules, but as long as you are like this, I am in the cage with you.”

· Ragnor Fell is one of the most amazing characters that ever existed

· Jem calling Emma little sister uwu

[joykenobi-blog]

Of Jedi and Force and fangirling

Seems like I’m having some sort of writer’s block since it’s been surprisingly hard to start this blog sort of properly. Well, I guess it’s better to have such in the beginning rather than having a good start and then being forced to disappear/have a pause of writing. But here I am! Today I wanted to tell how did I become a Star Wars fan. The embarrassing truth is, I saw the movies really late, not before last year. My boyfriend had been talking years that I should see them, even for the sake of common knowledge if not a pure enthusiasm. I actually find it a bit odd I never wasn’t that interested in seeing them, for I really liked space as a theme (eg Lilo & Stitch) as little. Perhaps it was the “war” that kind of scared me and the fact I was never really into sci-fi; fantasy has always been more kind of my genre. All I knew about Star Wars were the names of Luke and Anakin Skywalker and that Darth Vader is Luke’s father. Well, what do you know! In March 2016 my boyfriend finally got me to watch ANH. I found it quite good but a bit boring, too and didn’t become a fan yet then. In the autumn he then showed me ESB and RotJ and after that, I was sold. (Return of the Jedi is my personal favorite.)

Almost imperceptibly, I started following fan/meme accounts on ig and got buried deeper and deeper into this. However (the so-called true fans probably find this quite embarrassing), it wasn’t until the prequels that the fangirling stage completely stroke :D I remember telling my boyfriend -when he asked whether I’d like to see episodes I-III as well- that the original trilogy felt so flawless I didn’t know if I wanted to see the background for them. But eventually in December I finally wanted to see them and we watched all the prequels during one weekend. PM was, well, my fellow fans know, AotC something in between and RotS actually quite good. I certainly agree they could be a lot better and some of characters were, sadly, just wasted, but I don’t think the prequel trilogy is that bad. And I can’t understand the utter hate against them and/or Hayden Christensen (imo he was not bad, and it’s not his fault he was given such crappy dialogue etc). But, Ewan McGregor’s performance as young Kenobi was the saviour of the prequel trilogy and he made Obi-Wan my absolute number one fav character in the whole universum <3

And, at the latest at that point, I was hooked and have been ever since. During Christmas break I watched TFA and within a week of that went seeing Rogue One in the cinema. Both were good, and I’m soooooo excited of episode 8! Oh and last Christmas I actually asked my dad why didn’t he ever show me Star Wars for he and my brother anyway had watched them many times, and we had the old ones on VHS. He answered that “I thought you probably wouldn’t be interested in them” :D Which is a bit true nevertheless, because I was so into other things (such as The Lion King) as teenager. But I still wonder how come I don’t even remember for example when the prequels came to the theatres :D And now I’m like “where has this thing been my whole life?”

I never actually thought I could become this hard fan at so “old” age :D I thought I had already found my fandoms (mostly Disney) and even though I’ve always liked fantasy as a genre, even LotR universum didn’t cause this big impact on me. Even though Harry Potter has been a huge phenomenon for my exact generation, it’s never been that big thing for me. I’ve read all the books and seen the movies and they’re great, but that’s it. This SW hype of mine has been constant since last December and can’t see the end in the horizon :D 

And how deep am I at the moment? Well, while exploring the endless sea of instagram, I once ran into a hashtag of ‘obidala’. I found out what it was, then I ran into obitine. “Oooh, my fav character has a love affair!” I then asked my boyfriend to show me the Clone Wars movie but for my disappointment seeing this Obitine required watching the animated series! My first thought about the CW series was more or less “why the heck do something like this”, and honestly, the movie wasn’t really good :D But, since I can’t do anything incomprehendly, I decided I would watch all the Clone Wars. Started last summer and now I’m going somewhere in the middle of the fourth season. And it’s actually a good show! I wonder if my boyfriend ever regrets showing me the movies but he seems just happy that I became this enthusiasted.

(But I’m not sure if I can ever forgive him for spoiling me that Luke is Leia’s brother! It went like this: we were starting to watch ANH and I asked the name of Leia’s father/king of her home planet. And he could just have answere Bail Organa but no, he said Vader!! He told he had thought I would have known such commonly known thing but na-a (why would I ask if I knew?) and I was so mad at him. Damn.)