#and how even when we have disagreements on how things should play out at its core it’s love for eachother that makes progress

[starlooove]

In another universe Gavin king got to play Orpheus on broadway and had the time of his fucking life

[biaonww]

"something about you" rin itoshi based • angst based on not-so-bf trope <3

may contain errors, similar content is coincidental.

watching rin itoshi’s match is always mesmerizing. he shines in destroying things that are close to him.

it’s complete monstrosity when he plays, which is the complete opposite of his brother sae’s gameplay. 

a completely calculated person, while rin is a monster. 

but still—

why does rin still shine so much?

why does he stand out the most in your eyes, as if he was a twinkling star in the sky you would wish on?

why is he so captivating, yet always out of your hand?

bothered by your thoughts, rin wins his match. of course, another easy win for him. 

… but its noisy. it hurts your ears. 

announcers announcing his win.. interviewers excitingly waiting for him to get out of the stadium and start asking him questions… the horn sounds and people shrieking….

but everything goes quiet when he manages to find you straight away. 

no matter how many people are in the stalls—

his eyes always seem to capture you.

those beautiful eyes that could even challenge a diamonds beauty.

but there he is again, confusing you. 

he’s looking at you pleadingly, right after he scored the last shot.

shouldn’t he be focused on the crowd, and the way they scream his name in joy?

did he maybe finally realize that he left you mesmerized every single time?

did he maybe finally realize that you were always admiring him from afar?

or will he push you away again when he gives you mixed signals?

you sigh thinking of it, so you stand up, going to the exit of the stadium.

but once you finally reach the corridor, you see rin. 

so you pause from walking, while he jogs towards you.

“you should celebrate your win, itoshi.” you remark. 

“don’t call me itoshi.” he says in a tone that sounds like he’s still trying to catch his breath, while gripping your arm tightly.

(but of course, not in a way that would hurt you. he wouldn’t want that.). 

“i think it is only proper of me to call you itoshi. considering you never let me see what’s under your disguise.”

“i said don’t call me itoshi.”

“fine then.”

“— you know what, rin? i actually think it’s better if you keep pushing me away.”

“i mean i don’t know if you’re just another unreachable dream, or a one-in-a-million person i can achieve.”

“but i also don’t know if you’ll destroy me. which i’m scared of.”

“after all, you said everything that grows close to you soon tears down.”

you look at the floor, eyes slowly but surely becoming watery. 

rin stays quiet, his gaze softening when you immediately look down. 

“… if you’re scared of me destroying you, then i’ll try and treat you like a delicate flower.”

“if you ever get scared, i’ll stay by your side to keep you safe.”

“if you hate the noise, then i’ll cover your ears for you.”

“if i don’t show my true self to you, then i’ll lower my guard for you.”

“just don’t leave like everyone does. not like nii-san.”

“but instead stay. i’m humbly asking you to stay right now.”

“i’m sorry that i give you mixed signals. but give me a chance to prove myself to you, please?”

“i’m not perfect. i’m not the best yet. love is foreign to me. we may have fights and disagreements when we’re together. but for you, i’ll try.”

you finally look up at him, the tears in your eyes spilling out already.

but he wipes them for you, and looks at you so fondly. 

“then why couldn’t you do all this in the first place, you idiot?” you mumble. 

“i’m sorry.”

“but what’s your answer? will you accept me, or not?”

he chuckles softly, slowly letting down his facade for you. and only you. 

“… you know it’s a yes, rin.”

— fin.

now that im rereading this, it actually looks so SHITTY WTF... but i hope its good enough to be posted </3 reblogs, likes and comments are highly appreciated pls !! (btw, tags kinda foreshadow the fic so hehe)

[natsuki208]

The Wolf and the Bunny 🐺🐰

Sebastian tells his son Ciel a new bedtime story about an orphaned bunny and a lone wolf.

Here’s something for the Dadbastian fandom as the BB series is now on hiatus!

-

It’s around 7:15pm in England now; a certain little blue-haired noble boy should be going to sleep now.

“Come along now, Ciel. It’s pass your bedtime.” His father Sebastian gently picks him up from the floor where his child was playing and carries him to the bed in the middle of the nursery.

However, Ciel pouts in disagreement. “Bud I’m nod sweepy, Papa.”

“Hm, I know you by now that you are.” Sebastian chuckles.

The boy then squirms in his father’s arms as he’s placed down. “No I’m nod.”

Usually Ciel would only say those things in denial like any human child would, but he sounds like he means it this time. He surely does sound more lively and not drowsy, eyes are both wide, not droopy, so it’s clear to the demon he’s telling the truth.

Sebastian notes to himself not to give into pressure and allow Ciel sweeties before bedtime.

“Well, we can’t have you be cranky the next morning because you couldn’t get enough sleep.” He ponders aloud. “There has to be something to help you go to sleep.”

Ciel ponders too, imitating his father, and then an idea springs. His tiny hand grabs onto Sebastian’s waistcoat and tugs softly.

“Can you wead me a beddime sdowy, pwease?”

Sebastian looks down at those pleading blue eyes, so bright that it’s even hard for him to resist sometimes. Such things a human child does to him these days. He sits down on the bed next to him and reaches for the book on the bed side table.

“Alright. I think I know which story you’re talking about.” Sebastian smiles smartly.

Ciel tugs him again. “I wand a new sdowy.”

There’s a pause. Sebastian looks again down at his son’s pleading face. Usually he’d ask for him to continue to read ‘Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland’ since that’s his favourite, but now he wants a new one. On the contrary, the demon’s aware that children change their minds frequently, so he shouldn’t expect Ciel to be an exception.

The book returns to its place on the table and Sebastian moves over to be closer to his son. That soft smile never fades whilst petting Ciel’s blue hair.

“I think I might have one short story in mind.” He notes softly. “But you will promise to go to sleep after the story is finished, okay?”

Ciel nods with a little ‘Mmm hmm’ as a response and grabs hold of his white bunny plushie and makes himself more comfortable by lying onto his bed pillow. And so Sebastian thinks for a moment; what can possibly be a good story to tell for a young boy at this age? He notices the toy in Ciel’s arms and it clicks.

“Okay, I think you might like this one.” Taking his seat closer to his curious son, he begins his tale.

~

“In an old forest, somewhere far from here, lived an old grey wolf. His life in his wolf pack was the same as any ordinary predator living there: to hunt for their prey. They traveled around the forest looking for any small, weak little animals to feast on, and they all enjoyed it very much… all except him.”

“I don’d like dhis sdowy, Papa.” Ciel interrupted, hiding his face under the bed sheet.

“Oh don’t worry, it will get better.” His father assures him pleasingly. “Now if I can continue…”

“Sowwy.”

“One day, on a spring morning, the wolf pack came across a rabbit burrow. Desperate for a meal, they worked together to force the rabbit out of her hole and the pack chased after her. The grey wolf stayed behind, as he picked up the sound of high squeaking coming from inside the burrow. Out of curiosity, he checked inside only to find a baby rabbit left alone. The poor thing didn’t even looked scared when the wolf approached it, it got closer instead, rubbing against its natural predator.

The grey wolf couldn’t think of how to react, so he lifted his head out of the burrow and before he knew it, the baby rabbit followed. It kept cuddling onto the wolf like he was its parent, and he didn’t know how to respond, but he didn’t throw away the baby either. The poor thing obviously didn’t understand that the mother is presumably gone and his pack would be after it next, so what can he do?

He couldn’t bring himself to harm a precious little bunny being so sweet and innocent, so he picked it up and carried it on his back. He’s thinking of taking the baby away somewhere safe before his pack showed up again - and that’s what he did.

The wolf spend the rest of the day looking out for the now orphaned bunny. Practically doing anything to keep it safe: bringing it food, water and even played with it. The bunny itself was growing very attached to the wolf more than ever, for when it felt sleepy, it cuddled up into his fur again. The wolf didn’t mind and fell asleep with it.

Why was he spending time with the little bunny instead of preying on it? He didn’t know why. All he did know was that the baby adored him and he shouldn’t take it for granted.

Suddenly, the wolf’s pack caught up to him, for they scented the bunny’s whereabouts. They demanded for him to share the rabbit with them as their meal but the wolf refused. He mentioned he didn’t want to harm an innocent baby animal and that got his pack mad at him. They chased him and the bunny all throughout the forest with no end in sight, that is, until the wolf reached the edge of a rapid, cold river.

This gave him an idea. As his pack hurried towards him in an angry state, the wolf just stood there with the bunny on his back. He waited…. and he waited… until the pack got closer with their teeth wide open. They pounced as he jumped out of the way, with one splash at a time, each wolf was swept away in the tides of the river. Who knows if they’ll make it out alive.

And so, the wolf and the bunny made it back into the forest alone. He may never see his old pack again, but he had something better with him. The innocent baby really brought out his soft spot he had a feeling was there, but not until they met was when he opened up about it. Every day they traveled through the forest to find a safe den to live together, so no other predator can bother them ever again.”

~

*snore*

Sebastian’s last sentence of his story was interrupted by the quiet, breathy noises coming from Ciel - whom is sleeping away peacefully. The image brings a soft smile to his face and carefully stands up to not make the bed creak; he doesn’t take his eyes of the sleeping child when doing do.

“Sorry, bluebird.” Sebastian whispers gently. “I think I got a bit carried away with that one.”

Pulling up the sheets, fixing the position of the pillow, and kissing Ciel’s forehead sweetly ware all what’s left to do before wrapping up for the night. Once it’s all done, he picks up the candle and whispers one final goodnight to his little bunny.

Looks like the wolf is finally content in his new den after all.

[cellarspider]

Qunlat 2/12: Canon, and its various disagreements

⭅ Previous =⦾ Index ⦾= Next ⭆

Before I can dig into the actual sound and structure of Qunlat, I have to first dig into the structure of Dragon Age itself, because… well, the sound and structure of Qunlat changes depending on when it was set down. Whatever version you like is totally up to you–I’ll be trying to document all of them, but also begin explaining how to curate the language to your desires. 

I want to preface this: anybody who prefers what goes on here is totally valid. But I am going to get into some analysis of why, from a conlang hobbyist’s perspective, a fair chunk of later Qunlat doesn’t feel like the same language we’ve previously been presented, and why certain sources should be treated as less authoritative than others.

And I will begin with a comparison: Star Wars. No, no, come back, I promise this won’t hurt!

During the reign of George Lucas, Star Wars continuity and fandom explicitly drew distinctions between levels and eras of canon: The movies were the prime source that could ignore all others. Tie-ins could expand the setting, but due to less centralized direction, they could vary wildly in depiction of everything, including “facts” of the setting. How does the Force work? Are microbes involved? Any cosmic beings or liminal spaces? Do any of them seem suspiciously influenced by Dave Filoni’s wolf obsession? Even the movies don’t always agree!

Fans and official lorekeepers also recognized the difference between when something was made, or which publisher was involved: Tie-ins from the early years were less likely to be compatible with those from later times, and different production houses had their own internal continuities. Did Han Solo fight alongside a giant carnivorous rabbit in a red onesie? Well, he didn’t mention that when interviewed by a monk from a religious order where the enlightened masters become mecha-spiders! Did an omnipotent, insane entity once kill Princess Leia by turning her heart into a diamond? Maybe we could find out, if someone decompiled the memory banks of her assassin droid double who was sent to marry and shoot a three-eyed fake heir to Palpatine’s throne! Did a trans-dimensional scaly jello cube once run a faith healing scam? It’s been banished from the continuity of most tie-ins since then, but it was published under the official Star Wars license! I haven’t made up even one of these!

Equally, fans might also freely decide to ignore earlier or later aspects of canon, because they had their own sandbox they liked to play in. Even parts of generally beloved stories may be generally ignored (hello, Luuke). And all that was common long before you even get to the Disney takeover, when much of the creative direction changed. 

Dragon Age, as a fifteen year old franchise (ow, my bones) that has attempted to be aggressively multimedia and has not maintained a single, unified creative team, is prone to these same eccentricities and inconsistencies. Sometimes things happen for no serious reason whatsoever. Remember when baby Superman landed in Ferelden? I remember that. Doctor Seuss is a dwarven Paragon, by the way.

These are meant to be jokes in the games, sure, but the rules around magic and lyrium change with every game, and on the subject of languages, we also don't have a consistent writing system for the Common Tongue.

Throughout the series, early material conflicts with later, tie-ins conflict with games, individual games may be internally inconsistent, and a sole truth fundamentally does not exist for the canon. 

This is particularly true for ancillary material, which Qunlat can be counted as. It’s a constructed language that isn’t from the main setting. Even when lead writers have been involved in its depiction, the results have sometimes been completely incompatible with the rest of its appearances. 

I am attempting to document this language in a comprehensible fashion. You can see how this might cause problems.

So I am going to try and draw some distinctions. This should be particularly useful for anyone trying to reconstruct things from the wiki’s dictionary and phrasebook, which does cite sources, and includes everything, regardless of linguistic and stylistic incompatibility.

Dragon Age: Origins and Dragon Age II have a relatively high level of internal consistency in their spoken Qunlat. Things Sten says seem mutually intelligible with what we hear from the Arishok. There are exceptions–a couple rogue words in DAO and Warden’s Keep that indicate some level of uncertainty about the overall shape of the language, and Mark of the Assassin has a few eccentricities, but is largely in line with the two. A large portion of our dialog in DA2 and its DLC has never had a translation provided, but the sound of the language remains consistent. Mary Kirby (formerly of BioWare) was Sten’s writer for DAO, so we can guess that she was the primary source for these games.

Grammar-wise, more complexity might exist in some of the Arishok’s untranslated lines, but my best attempts to analyze them indicate they may be on shaky ground, detail-wise. Words slide around each other in strange ways, though they all sound like the same language.

The one major exception to that unity: DA2’s Qunari armor and weapons. These include some extremely strange additions that are not reflected in the spoken language. New sounds and letters enter the language that were never there before. I’d hazard a guess that either a different writer got involved with naming these, and/or the documentation available was not well-organized or transmitted. When finally defined for certain in World of Thedas Vol. 2 some years later, many of the equipment terms have mistaken etymologies.

Dragon Age: Inquisition continues that trend. There’s more words that have spurious etymologies. Some words have inconsistent spellings. Some sentences accidentally a word. The wiki’s does not help matters, with some statements from the Iron Bull taken as definitions when it doesn’t seem like they’re supposed to be.

During this period, Mary Kirby and Trick Weekes started answering questions about the language on twitter. For our Qunari-focused purposes, Kirby started out the series as Sten’s writer, and Weekes was Iron Bull’s writer, and so we may see differences in authorship between the two. Kirby answers most of the questions about vocabulary, and the answers mostly fall in line with previous Qunlat.

The same goes for Tresspasser. While its new Qunlat vocabulary is unfortunately minimal, the contents largely have the same linguistic feel as the rest of the language, grammar is consistent, and new words make etymological sense. A convert practices their conjugation tables, much to my delight. The language does strain against the relatively limited grammar it contains, though, with Viddasala’s lines in particular feeling like they’re missing connective tissue.

Secondary material far less consistent. Web series and comics like Redemption, Those Who Speak, and the currently-releasing Vows and Vengeance podcast* all are produced with less direct oversight or restrictions of medium and resource availability, tend to be highly divergent in general, and that definitely includes their Qunlat. Tie-in books like Tevinter Nights are only slightly more consistent, but are still of variable quality.

And then there is The World of Thedas.

That's not great.

While the two volumes of WoT scratch the itch for Delicious Lore, Volume 2’s unique additions to Qunlat are contain some glaring incompatibilities with the rest of the series. Volume 1 has a bit of in-universe disclaimer near the start of it, that all sources are biased and imperfect. Volume 2 includes errata from the previous book, including a walking back of ideas like “The Antaam stages duels to the death for promotions”, replaced with “actually the Orlesians made that up during the Exalted Marches to scare their kids”. So, we can see that real-world creative decisions were changed between the two books. That’s understandable.

Unfortunately for our purposes, Volume 2 also includes the largest corpus of grammatically complex Qunlat sentences in the entire series, and they appear to be deliberately sloppy.

I now have to introduce you to my nemesis, Philliam, a Bard!.

This poxy little creature is a character credited in The World of Thedas, Volume 2 as transcribing and “loosely translating” phrases spoken by Qunari soldiers at rest. These sentences are of variable quality, featuring misspellings of pre-existing words, absolutely bizarre sentence structure, and words that previous Qunlat simply can’t support. It’s like reading English and then suddenly you appear to have stumbled into a rogue word in Sḵwx̱wú7mesh.

I focus (saltily) on this for two reasons: First, Philliam, a Bard! is treated explicitly as an unreliable source. I have seen some folks reference his vocabulary in other contexts before, and it shows up in several dictionaries, including taking cues from his pronunciation guide. Do not trust anything found exclusively in his excerpts to fit with the rest of the language: he is intended to be a foreigner who may not fully understand the language, and may, in fact, just be making shit up.

Second, and I may be reaching a little here: as a constructed language hobbyist, I know how things go sometimes. You’ve come up with some sentences you want to translate into your conlang, but you realize you’re lacking vocabulary for it, or worse, you don’t have enough grammatical complexity to even structure the concepts you want to convey. …But you’re really tired, or only have a few minutes to poke at it, so you just fling down some new words and grammar that conceivably look like a translation, though you’re not quite sure how. This is especially common for new conlangers.

These sentences feel like that kind of thing was going on there. I’ll get into the details of why much later, but for now: If something you like in Qunlat contradicts Philliam, a Bard!, don’t feel wedded to stuff from him. He is, both in and out of continuity, an unreliable source.

But if you like Philliam, a Bard!? Go for it! My grumbling is entirely immaterial, DAI and WoT2 add in a bunch of vocabulary that people may want to draw from. Hopefully this post has provided some pointers on how to tailor Qunlat to your own interests. For those who may be interested in further tweaking Qunlat, I’ll give advice later, when we dig into some changes I personally made while trying to expand the language.

The one piece of advice I’ll give now: Beware the wiki’s dictionary. It’s a heroic work to source as many words as they did, but I’ve noticed some typos in their Qunlat (ex. Aqaam written as “Aquaam”), some definitions include irrelevant and misleading information (maraas-lok is the name of a strong alcohol that literally means “no(thing)-thought(s)”, and does not seem to be a verb for “drink”. Bull is just drunk and trying to get you to drink.), some words are fully unsourced, some are missing (placenames especially), and the citations are not comprehensive and do not necessarily list the first time a word appears in canon.

So I have made my own dictionary. It’s mostly based off of theirs, and retains the wiki’s definitions for those who want those. But it also features an accounting of which words show up in which sources, as well as my own notes, which include further definitions based off of verifiable context, etymologies of compound words, corrections for wiki or canon errors, and my suffering through the works of Philliam, a Bard!. I’ve gone through all of DAO and DA2’s subtitles, and World of Thedas Volumes 1 and 2 to verify the vocabulary they include, and at some point I will probably do the same for DAI and Trespasser. Tie-ins are lower down the list, for the reasons I explained above.  

Qunlat’s phonaesthetics will be covered this time, as this is what drew me in first, and laying them out will help readers create names or new words that sound Qunlat.

⭅ Previous =⦾ Index ⦾= Next ⭆

Footnotes

* I haven’t been following Vows and Vengeance, but the only Qunlat in the transcripts is all stuff we’ve heard before, the rest is simply glossed over as stage directions of people chanting or yelling a “FOREIGN TONGUE”. Someone in the YouTube comments identified Taash's chanting as the prayer we hear Sten recite in Origins, so that's almost all of it accounted for. I may listen and see if I can make any sense of the rest of it later, but I have a questionable ear for transcribing languages, so if it's new content, my results may not be 100% accurate.

[jean-meowreau]

Kandreil!!

Kevin is ace but weed works wonders. (Do not start fights about this. I am ace and get horny when I smoke. If you don't like it then just fuck off please I am begging.)

(read under the cut)

"D?" Neil calls out as he enters the house, Kevin in tow.

"Kitchen," Andrew calls back, turning off the sink and pausing the dishes he was working through.

The smell hits him before his two idiots make it into the kitchen and he pinches the bridge of his nose. "Neil-"

"No, hear me out," Neil says quietly as he sets his backpack on the counter. "We confiscated it from some freshman but my PT has said it could help with chronic pain-"

"Neil," Andrew says with a smile he can't hide. "You're a paranoid freak already, I don't think weed will alleviate that symptom."

Neil bites his lip and cuts his eyes, watching Andrew through his lashes as he says, "But I always feel safe with you and Kev..."

Andrew scowls, still trying to fight back an affectionate smile as he crosses the space and grabs Neil's face before pulling him down to face level. "Josten-"

"His red face means its a yes," Kevin says as he reaches for Neil's bag and pulls out the gram of bud wrapped in plastic.

"You two should be illegal, playing nasty to get your way."

Kevin smirks as he reaches around Neil to hook his finger beneath Andrew's jaw to tilt his head up so they can make eye contact. "Neil is your weakness, and I like to get my way."

"As if the answer was going to be anything but yes," Andrew scoffs, even as he dips his head down to kiss Kevin's palm. "Do you know anyone else who smokes weed and could help you two smoke this?" He asks with a quiet laugh.

"I bet we could figure it out!" Neil says defensively. "I watch you roll blunts all of the time."

"Yeah, but you're watching with your dick," Andrew says with a smirk. "And Kevin doesn't retain anything that isn’t history, exy, or history of exy."

"Not true! I remember birthdays and our anniversary."

"Things that you have calendar notifications for."

"November 4th, January 19th, and December 11th."

"I'm surprised, I can't lie," Andrew says as he pushes his way to stand between both taller men. He sets a small metal tray on the counter and holds his hand out for the bag that Kevin passes over. "How angry would you be if I asked this freshman where they got this from?" Andrew says, laughing at the annoyed look on Kevin's face. "It smells really good, I'm just surprised. You two might need to take it slow since it's your first time smoking."

Kevin makes a quiet noise in disagreement. "Not mine."

Andrew perks his brow, but Neil gawks at Kevin. "What!? When!"

"There were a couple of hazings Riko and I went through when we were officially initiated. Smoking and brownies. And some other drugs. Don't really remember what else."

"You sure you'll be okay to smoke, then?" Andrew asks gently, pausing his twisting of the grinder.

"Yeah, better times. We used to suffer together a bit more."

Andrew nods and shifts so Neil can plaster himself to Kevin's side, press against him and offer some relief. Andrew looks over at them and smiles. "Go ahead and sit down on the couch, you two. I'll be in there."

Neil grabs Kevin's waist and gently pulls him from the kitchen. Andrew rolls two blunts, makes sure they're carefully sealed, stows the tray, and when he makes it into the living room, Neil is settled in Kevin's lap, back to front, as they watch whatever is on the TV. He turns it off and sits on the coffee table opposite. "I need full attention before we get started," Andrew says quietly, waiting for both men's eyes to meet his own. "You will listen to me. You can smoke up to what I say and no more unless I say so. Kevin, you've got a bit more leeway because you drink. Neil," Andrew pauses and grabs his chin. "You will be extra careful and be good and listen to me, won't you?"

Neil swallows thickly and nods, his eyes hooded as he leans into Andrew's touch. He was always so quick to fold to affectionate touch. He must already be close to gone if he's been sitting in Kevin's lap since they left the kitchen. As if Kevin could read his mind, he gives Andrew a simple nod and he shakes his head as he bites back an affectionate smile.

"Neil."

"...Yeah?"

"How gone are you already?"

"I wanna smoke," Neil says, the barest hint of a whine in his voice as he squirms on Kevin's lap.

"I know, you will," Andrew says with a small laugh. "We just have to keep a special eye on you." Andrew strokes his thumb across Neil's check, and he and Kevin make a soft sound at the sight of Neil sinking down and closing his eyes.

Andrew lets go and watches Neil sink the rest of the way into Kevin's chest. He doesn’t last long, not when he hears the flick of a lighter. It's endearing in a way, watching the two of them cough through their first couple of hits. How Neil grabs his sides and curls into Kevin, how Kevin tries and fails to hold it back and ends up coughing louder than if he'd just listened to Andrew in the first place.

When he's satisfied both men have had enough for their first time, just to test their tolerance, Andrew sits back on the coffee table and smokes the rest of the blunt while watching the two of them sink into each other and the couch. He notices Kevin's hands moving, the way he starts petting up and down Neil's chest and abdomen, fingers dipping under his shirt and tracing over his toned torso. Neil's pupils have nearly swallowed his irises, and he's stuck in a loop of looking at Kevin's hands on himself and then hungrily raking his eyes across Andrew's body. And when he meets Andrew's gaze, his cheeks flush a darker red and he looks away almost immediately, back to Kevin's hands on his body. Over and over until he spreads his legs open across Kevin's and whispers, "You gotta stop."

"Why?" Kevin says with a slight pout and a pointed gentle scratch of his nails down Neil's abs, relishing in the way his back arches and he moans softly at the touch.

"A-Are you-?"

"Yeah," Kevin says with a slow smile. "I'm feeling you up. Feeling horny."

Andrew snorts at the simple dialogue between his two partners. "So you both get horny when you smoke."

"Is that bad?" Neil asks, eyes going wide.

"No," Andrew says with a grin. "I'm just surprised it got Kevin, is all."

"You should be grateful for any boner you get out of me," Kevin huffs out, reaching across the way for Andrew's wrist before tugging, encouraging him to join them on the couch. When he side steps, planning to side beside them, both Neil and Kevin make quiet sounds of protest before coaxing Andrew to straddle Neil's waist. Kevin grunts under the new weight, but his smile is easy and he lets his eyes fall shut. "I like this."

"Of course you do," Andrew says with a snort. He lights the second joint and gently guides Neil away from trying to take a hit. When his pout only grows and he starts whining, Andrew sighs in defeat and grabs his chin. "We're going to try something."

Neil nods enthusiastically, shifting beneath Andrew. Kevin moans softly at the feeling, hands flying to Neil's waist, whose jaw is dropped. "D, he's hard."

"Yeah?" Andrew says with an easy grin. "Princess?"

Kevin blinks open bleary eyes. "What?"

"Do you want some help?"

"Not now. Maybe later," Kevin hums, shifting one hand to settle his large, warm palm against the top of Andrew's thigh and give a squeeze. His thumb reaches down to rub circles against the sensitive skin on the inside of Andrew's thigh. He shivers but makes a happy sound at the feeling, spreading his legs a bit wider. Kevin tries and fails to hold back a grin as he slides his hand higher, thumb dipping under the edge of Andrew's shorts. "Right. You get horny when you smoke."

Andrew huffs out a somewhat embarrassed noise but he doesn’t deny the accusation. He instead reaches for the second blunt and lights it. The end crackles to life, ash curling outwards just barely as the ring of light moves down with the hit Andrew takes. He sits back a bit from Neil and tries not to look too smug with himself as he blows a few smoke rings above their heads. When he looks back, baby blues are fixated on his mouth. "Neil?"

"...Yeah?"

"Where are you at, rabbit?"

"Wanna kiss you..."

Andrew chuckles quietly. "Do you want a little more smoke?"

Neil mulls it over, and pulls Andrew into a kiss before dropping his lips down to his neck. "Enough left to share?"

"Plenty to share."

"May I have a few more?" Neil asks, words ghosting across Andrew's skin as he drags his lips up the curve of Andrew's neck before gently biting at his bottom lip.

"You sure as fuck can," Andrew mutters, somewhat out of breath, before he takes a hit from the blunt. Neil was plenty high, but he knew they would both want a chance at the second blunt, and Andrew would be lying to himself if he hadn't immediately pictured what he was about to do. He takes a handful of Neil's hair and steadies him before leaning in and connecting their lips. He pushes his tongue into the redhead's mouth, laughing into the kiss at the desperate way Neil moans and greedy hands that had been on Andrew's thighs grab his face. Neil pushes up into him, well after the smoke is gone, mapping the entirety of Andrew's mouth. He's been rubbing their tongues together for a few seconds when Andrew tightens the grip on his hair and pulls back, keeping Neil from surging forward.

"Andrew!" he gasps out, fingers shaking as he tries to pull the blond back in.

"What about Kevin, Neil? He deserves a chance, too, don't you think?"

Neil makes a quiet sound of protest even as he deflates against Kevin. He turns his attention to him, reaching behind his neck for an anchor point as he turns and sloppily kisses at his neck. Kevin shudders, even Andrew can feel it, and he grins before taking a slow hit from the blunt. Neil's hooded eyes are tracking their movements, and he sits back to watch as Andrew presses their lips together. Kevin arches beneath Neil, the hand on Andrew's thigh trailing up the blond's body before settling over his chest. He slowly fists the material of hi shirt as the kiss deepens, leaning up and pulling Andrew down closer. He isn’t as successful receiving the smoke, most of it vacating between them as Kevin bites at Andrew's lips and then runs the tip of his tongue along the length of the top of his mouth. This time Andrew's eyes are bleary when he reopens them and both men are staring up at him with smug, blasted smiles.

"Shut the fuck up," Andrew mutters before taking another hit. He lets it out of his mouth and breathes it back in his nose before finally blowing it up towards the ceiling, tilting his head back. He isn’t surprised when Neil attaches himself to his neck, but Kevin tugging him down so he can join has Andrew moaning, gasping each of their names. He finally rocks his hips down against the bulge he's been pretending not to notice in Neil's pants. One set of teeth dig into his neck with a reedy whine, and Andrew mirrors the sound. "I'm going to have to wear turtlenecks for ages."

Neil makes a quiet, annoyed sound. "Let people see your neck with our marks."

"I don't like people we don't know to know what we get up to. They are for us, only," Andrew says in a low voice. He isn’t angry, but he's firm. "They are my hickeys, no one else."

Neil shivers beneath him and nods, jaw dropped as he moans weakly. Andrew takes a quick hit and blows the smoke into his mouth, laughing as he leans away from the attempt at a kiss. "We have to make it through this so it doesn’t go to waste."

"You're so right," Neil whispers, shaking his head before nodding. Kevin tries to stifle a laugh, but he's quickly shaking with quiet giggles as he wraps his arms around the two men in his lap and crushes them against his chest.

"I love you," he mutters as he moves his face from Neil's neck to Andrew's. They both return the sentiment before Andrew takes another hit and leans towards Kevin. He shakes his head slightly. "I'm comfortable. You should keep kissing Neil, though. He makes the prettiest noises."

Andrew winks and looks at Neil, whose jaw is dropped slightly and his chest is rising and falling rapidly. But his eyes are trained on Andrew's lips, he watches Neil lick his own before scarred hands grab his face and yank him in for a messy kiss.

"Know what else you should do?" Kevin whispers as he trails his fingers up Andrew's thighs again, loving the way the muscles jump beneath his fingers. "You should cum like this. You're both so high and horny I doubt we could make it to the room."

Andrew cuts dark eyes over to Kevin, and when Neil breaks the kiss to immediately start biting and kissing at Andrew's neck, he asks, "Yes or no, Neil?"

"I'm yours. Anything you want."

Andrew and Kevin both make somewhat feral sounding noises in kind. Andrew's hands are both fisted in Neil's hair now, pulling him back up for another kiss, Kevin dutifully holding the still burning blunt as Andrew takes out his built up sexual tension on Neil's mouth and hair. His hips shift and this time Neil rocks up to meet him halfway and the two of them moan brokenly into the kiss. Kevin uses his free hand to dip between Andrew's legs again and pull his shorts to the side just enough to rub the pad of his finger in a circle around his dick. Andrew collapses against Neil, his thighs shaking as he ruts forward against Kevin's fingers after grabbing his wrist and shifting his hand for better friction. A few rocks of his hips and then he lets go, collapsed against Neil's chest and gasping for air.

"I-I think that's the fastest he's ever--"

"Neil, you've got to get inside him," Kevin breathes out. "Fuck."

"Sure you don't want?" Neil asks quietly, just checking in. Kevin nods before turning to kiss him.

"Probably just want a hand today. But I need to see you fucking him."

"Anyone gonna ask what I want?" Andrew asks breathlessly.

"Yes. Me. I always want to know what you want, D."

Andrew hums quietly and kisses Neil again briefly. "Shut up before I get any harder."

"No, keep talking, Neil," Kevin goads, nudging Andrew away so he can kiss the corner of Neil's mouth before asking, "What would you like to do, Andrew?"

"I wanna ride him, right here and now."

"Jesus fucking-- shit, fuck--!" Neil gasps out, hands flying to Andrew's waist before crushing him against his chest. "Yes, fuck yes!"

“Yeah?” Andrew huffs out, still shaking as Kevin runs his fingers back and forth across his cunt, dipping in just the tip of his middle finger. “G-Get a condom.”

Kevin hands Andrew the blunt, and the hit he just took is coughed out as Kevin produces a condom from his pocket. “You fucking planned this, didn’t you?” He asks as he turns his head away, still coughing. Kevin just hums, but there’s a rather smug, pleased look on his face as he hands Neil the condom. He tears it with his teeth and makes a shaky sound as Andrew unbuttons and unzips his pants before pulling his cock out. The head is flushed, pre is pooling at the slit, and Andrew curses under his breath as he rubs his thumb across and watches the pre connected to his thumb as he pulls it away from the head. “Fucking– fuck me, Neil.”

“Andrew, I-I’m not gonna last–”

“Then get the fucking rubber on so you can cum inside me.”

Neil curses under his breath, hands shaking as he slides the latex down his length. “Andrew–”

“You want to keep smoking, don’t you?” Andrew huffs as he gets up on his knees. “Hold your dick for me, Neil. There you go, good boy–”

Neil uses his free hand to cover Andrew’s mouth, breathing hard as he reaches back between their bodies. “Smoke. Less words. Gonna– Andrew–!”

“Yeah, yeah, I got you,” Andrew whispers, taking a hit from the blunt that Kevin was still holding. He leans in and kisses Neil as he slowly sinks down on his length. He doesn’t get any of the smoke, his jaw dropped as he collapses back against Kevin’s chest. His eyes are closed, lips parted, and Andrew shifts and starts kissing along the length of Neil’s jaw as he sits fully in his lap. “Neil–”

“No. No talking,” Neil gasps, hands flying to Andrew’s hips when he shifts in his lap. “Gimme a second, D.”

Andrew hums and takes another hit from the blunt in Kevin’s hand, letting himself be guided to kiss him after. Smoke tendrils snake out between their mouths as Kevin cups Andrew’s cheek and deepens the kiss. He shifts beneath Neil before reaching with his free hand to grab one of his hips and guide him to thrust up into Andrew. Both men above Kevin collapse against him, moaning loudly. “Do I really have to be the one to fuck Andrew?” Kevin teases quietly, turning to kiss Neil’s temple.

“M-Maybe,” Neil breathes out, whining high in the back of his throat as Andrew raises up and then slowly lowers himself back down.

“You should watch him fuck himself, instead,” Kevin murmurs, running his hand up Neil’s chest before grabbing his jaw. “Open your eyes, Neil. Come on.”

Neil shivers, his nails biting into Andrew’s waist as he slowly peeks his eyes open. The second he catches sight of Andrew’s face – brow furrowed, jaw dropped, a bright flush creeping down his neck, Neil immediately screws his eyes shut again. He bucks his hips up, gasping out Andrew’s name as the blond collapses against his chest.

“Do that again Neil.”

“Fuck,” is all he can reply, shifting beneath Andrew and securing his grip before giving a solid thrust upwards. He sets a steady pace, head thrown back against Kevin's shoulder. Every thrust is accented by a quiet, barely there moan that Andrew tries muffling against Neil's chest. Kevin lets them have a few minutes, Neil having to pause and readjust his grip every so often. When Andrew's noises start growing in volume, Kevin lifts Andrew's head so his chin is resting against Neil's shoulder. He puts the blunt between Andrew's lips and carefully lights it, watching small clouds billow out every time Neil thrusts in especially hard. When he pulls it away, Kevin leans forward and slowly connects their lips, licking his way into Andrew's mouth. This time Andrew is the reason most of the smoke escapes, moaning loudly as Neil starts moving his hips in a half circle every time his own come flush with the backs of Andrew's thighs.

Neil makes a quiet sound and grabs Andrew's jaw, pulling him from Kevin to crash their mouths together as he gives a last few thrusts inside before spilling into the condom. Andrew slowly sits up, cupping Neil's face gingerly as they rest with their foreheads together, gasping each other's air, occasionally managing to kiss the other briefly.

"Andrew?" Kevin asks quietly as he ashes the blunt. "Want another orgasm?"

"Five orgasms is so many," Andrew pants, but he grabs Kevin's wrist sitting on his thigh and directs it between his legs.

""F-Five!?" Neil manages, grabbing Andrew's jaw to turn him back to make eye contact.

"You're... really good at fucking me," Andrew whispers, eyes fluttering shut as Kevin settles the heel of his palm against his dick, fingers slotted on either side of Neil's cock still buried in his cunt.

"He's so fucking good," Kevin agrees, rubbing in small circles, slowly building Andrew up, "He kept grinding against me and I came in my pants like a fucking teenager."

Neil chokes on a sound, hands flying to Andrew's hips before he's fucking up into him again, trembling between both men.

Andrew makes a shaky sound, trying to peek up at Kevin. "Y-You just got him to cum twice... fucking hell, Kevin. You're not allowed weed. It makes you too p-po-Oh, fuck!"

Kevin is grinning, too smug for his own good but oh so fucking well deserved, well earned, as he shifts his hand and gently strokes his fingers against either side of Andrew's dick, milking him through his orgasm as he kisses across his nose and cheeks. Neil is rubbing his back, still breathing hard, shifting and moaning quietly at the way Andrew is clenching around his cock. "D--"

"I know, sorry," Andrew whispers, shifting in his lap before lifting himself just enough for Neil's cock to slip free. Kevin pulls the condom off carefully and ties it off before tossing it onto an old newspaper on the coffee table.

"Nap time?"

"We need to clean up--" Andrew starts, trying to open his eyes as he shifts on Neil's lap, but Kevin grabs his hips and still his movements.

"No, it's okay. Let's rest and then we can all shower together."

"Your clothes..." Andrew says, denying to heaven above and hell below that he whines about the idea of Kevin being uncomfortable.

"It's okay. I'm comfortable. My head is fuzzy. I want to enjoy this."

Andrew nods and tucks his face against the curve of Neil's neck before dropping his hands lower to hold Kevin's waist. "Okay. Wake me up when it's time to move."

[eternalstronghold]

Black Myth: Wukong Review

Black Myth: Wukong is a visually stunning game, with great bosses, and fantastic fighting elements. The rich Chinese culture it intertwines with only adds to its beauty. The game is sort of a follow up of the novel Journey to the West by Wu Cheng’en, and even has references to characters and events that take place in the book. It's a great game full of rich culture, but may lead some to confusion if they're not familiar with the novel. Some reviewers have even done some research to understand who Sun Wukong is and why certain events are as important as they are.

The opening scene is beautiful. Taking you directly in front of the Giant Spirit God, the Four Heavenly Kings, and the massive Heavenly Army. After a disagreement and fight between Sun Wukong and Erlang Shen, you are now a different monkey. The Destined One. Meaning you must find the six relics from Wukong and hopefully revive Sun Wukong. Though there isn't much of a play-by-play story, the animations that play within the six chapters are absolutely amazing and done in different styles of animation. They also do a great job of explaining the background of that chapter's villain.

Wukong isn't a soulslike game. It may seem like it at first, but the game plays more like traditional action games. The game is a lot more forgiving, but isn't too easy where its as if you can just button mash and win. The game lets you swap armor, weapons and even lets you have access to a handful of spells. The game can quickly become strategy based, as you also have a mana meter, focus meter, stamina bar, and obviously health. Attacks and moves take stamina, spells will take your mana, meaning you need to do combos in order to be the most effective during combat, especially during boss fights. There's also cooldowns for certain spells, so you also need to strategize on whether or not you absolutely need to use transformation, which allows you to become the powerful creatures you've defeated. There's plenty more mechanics that you must use for yourself to truly grasp how much you could possibly plan for a battle against a boss, including resource management.

The levels also have enemies within it, so you aren't just battling boss after boss. Though I wish invisible walls weren't the fix to a lot of exploration, it definitely still feels like a massive world. It has a very wide-linear design, one obvious path you must take to advance the story, however there is some exploration available, usually for extra loot or enemies that can give you a special Spirit Skill, Curio items, or chests to upgrade your health, stamina or mana.

Though there is plenty good, there are also plenty of odd, and bad things. Personally, I have not had any performance issues, however there have been reports of people falling through the ground, experiencing performance issues, and crashes. Even when they're running RTX 4090s, these things should not be issues, but alas they are reported in other reviews of the game, so we must dock some points.

The developer, Game Science has had some very questionable things come out of it. The first being a report from IGN, rightfully questioning the developer's history of sexism and other comments made by employees. The second being a very strange google document for content creators, highlighting the do's and don'ts. The list containing

"Do NOT include politics, violence, nudity, feminist propaganda, fetishization, and other content that instigates negative discourse.

Do NOT use trigger words such as 'quarantine' or 'isolation' or 'COVID-19'

Do NOT discuss content related to China's game industry policies, opinions, news, etc."

Personally, these issues also make it hard for me to be able to give this otherwise beautiful game an amazing score. Censoring topics deemed as "feminist propaganda" and a past of hurtful comments from employees that work at the company, I have to bring the score down.

Our final score for Black Myth: Wukong is a 6/10. An otherwise beautiful story, linked with Chinese culture, backed by a developer full of a rough history in just its decade of existence.

[centrally-unplanned]

Random Lackadaisy Pilot Thoughts:

-- I knew going in that I would have a fundamental disagreement with this pilot, from both knowing median audience preferences and seeing promotional documents; namely Rocky. Rocky is your zany lyrical comic relief character, who says things like this all the time:

And everyone in universe treats him like that police officer does; as an annoying lunatic. On the page this level of court jester can work; no one is reading it aloud to me, I can go at my own pace, others in-universe are responding the way I would respond in-universe, I can appreciate the dynamic. As spoken dialogue though, its a lot harder - he is talking *at* me, I am no longer a distant observer but instead just like one of the characters in the story, feeling what they are feeling; namely, cringe.

So how do you execute a character like Rocky on screen? A lot of ways (he isn't an issue at all if this is a comedy or a musical, for example) but overall I think you need to pair him off and reduce him - he should be playing off people most of the time, talk like 40% less, get interrupted more, his lines should often be set-ups for eye-roll punchlines by others. You balance him for the reality of film.

However! Rocky is also the 'protagonist' - not really, but he is the first character we meet - and a fan favourite. Western animation 'loves' zany weirdo characters, he is flash you can use to position your product in the market. So Rocky is not reduced in the pilot, he is expanded - full solo opening, musical number, lots of setpiece sequences around him. He is absolutely the primary character of the pilot. Which does not work for me, I think it was a poor choice - it sells the story itself short.

-- Related to that, I think the Rocky choice and some others frayed the story's film noir tone. Lackadaisy is famous amoung webcomics for its out-of-this-world levels of detailed shading and toning, which it uses to build a city of shadows and light:

Its the kind art that sells a troubled man torturing his bounty for information about his own dark past for pyschological reasons. There is just no way an indie long-form animated show can look like this, they aren't Studio Shaft. So your Mordecai is gonna look like this

Which is fine, but you are bleeding film noir points, you need to make them up elsewhere - which you cannot do if zany Rocky is your lead and 60% of the run time is combat shenanigans! This pilot is selling a very different vision of the story; its aesthetics have been altered by the demands of the medium, and the story isn't calibrated to that to preserve the comic's balance (which is equally serious & comedic).

There is also a plotting issue behind this to - the pilot does not start the same way as the comic, in the comic Rocky's opponents are some unimportant farmhands he is robbing, meanwhile Mordecai is introduced in full targeting some equally unimportant dudes. Which means people get to die, fight scenes can get brutal, it can pivot from comedic to serious by escalating the stakes. However, since this pilot is all main characters, they all have plot armor, no one can die, so the tone has to stay zany. The characters cant bleed, so the film noir points continue to do so for them.

-- Lol these short thoughts ballooned, sorry! I definitely still liked it, I love Lackadaisy after all. Something I did like was that, even though it could not preserve the sepia-shadow detail of the comic, when given the space it did a lot of great things with lighting, special effects and staging to give it visual flair. Rocky's bridge song has a lot of that:

And the final cigar-ash-burning-the-flower shot was a great all-into-our-vibe choice:

When the pilot chose to be fully art deco or film noir, it really hit it.

-- This pilot is a great example of industry shaping art. This is not a short, its a pilot; a pilot is a pitch letter to production studios asking them to pick up your show. That is a different ask from "be a good first episode for your story". It wants to introduce all the cast because everyone has their favourites and you want to maximize buzz with casting like their voice actors and stuff. It wants to be flashy with a lot of combat and movement because that is what a studio thinks the 'median' audience member wants from a cartoon. It probably toned down the blood because as a cartoon in America it needs to be pitched for an all-ages demo and doesn't want box itself into a corner ratings-wise. The ways it deviates from the comic are probably less artistic desire and instead a combination of the medium-is-the-message and the realities of how a show like this is financed if its going to reach a full cour. I can't fault it for any of that, and it really helps to know those things as you are watching it imo.

-- What is up with the rough pencil motion lines still in the final cut??

This isn't a budget or accident thing, these shots are fully colored and lit and all that, removing those lines would have been trivial. At least I think they should have been. It seems an intentional choice, but it kindof baffles me, why? Someone must have explained this somewhere, I am legitimately asking, if you know tell me.

-- Lots of great Cat Moments, Mordecai hissing at the water, amazing. We need at least one an episode if this gets picked up.

[the-owl-tree]

I fr don’t know how the erins wrote such a twisted, triggering abusive couple and story line again and again. they don’t even answer for it in a way that takes into account their audience who reads their books and sees their parents doing this exact shit. this is some shit that would send me into a spiral as a kid. I am genuinely shocked and appalled that they’re still making books. not to say warriors should end but… they are actively producing harmful content marketed towards children

had to take a little women & cooking break from this book lol

i'm not done the book yet so i might be shooting myself in the foot....but at the same time i'm pretty confident i've identified some of the reasons why this book is the way it is. for how awful the book is, it is pretty revealing:

-Okay, get the obvious one out of the way: Warriors does not treat its female characters and its male characters equally. This bleeds into ALL their writing, and this super edition is just as impacted by it. Whether or not we like these characters or not, this double standard is at play.

-The books believe that Squirrelflight and Bramblestar's fighting makes them better, that their disagreements make them a good team and challenge each other. Squirrelflight in particular is considered argumentative by her clanmates, something which is treated as comedic in the early chapters:

(note the wording, squilf is the argumentative unreasonable one).

Obviously, this isn't true. Their quarreling does NOT make them stronger and Bramblestar frequently uses his position to actively punish her when she disagrees with him to the point he'd forbid her from arguing with him in public. Squirrelflight disagreeing with him is shown by the narrative as her doing what's right (which is good!) but the fact Bramblestar CAN and WILL use his position to shut her up is bad. These fights are not equal and the authors won't acknowledge that, so the rest of the cast in ThunderClan also don't see this as bad.

-Bramblestar isn't meant to be seen as right and we're SUPPOSED to see his actions as cruel and heartless....but the authors want you to think about how pressured and stressed he is. They do not want to acknowledge just how bad his actions are. People act like Squirrelflight is piling shit onto him (this is not true and i actually kind of want to make a post about just how this plot point as been taken out of context and misused by people who want bramblestar to look good but another time another time)....but the book does not want to see this as a repeated part of his personality because the authors do not see Bramblestar as a bad person at heart, just that he's misguided and not acting rationally. Not true! We've seen this behavior prior. But that leads to my next point-

-While the narrative isn't trying to convince you that Bramblestar is correct, it still wants you to think that Squirrelflight has done something to earn this treatment. Her going behind Bramblestar's back is treated as wrong and Squirrelflight's narration has her imploring the reader to think about his perspective. The writers want you to believe that things could have gone better had she just talked to him...but fail to acknowledge that the Bramblestar they've written is completely unreasonable and acting irrationally. He actively does not listen in earlier chapters but they still want you to believe Squirrelflight disobeying him is worth her being flamed as well.

Note: this is a repeated pattern. she apologizes to him about her suspicions about hawkfrost....despite being completely right.

-The authors use characters are situational antagonists (and often repeatedly use these characters! Thornclaw and Blossomfall have the consistent trait of being actively xenophobic and cruel to outsiders) but they refuse to address these as bad or have these characters be confronted for this. Bramblestar falls into this category, he is antagonist for this book but because he apologizes and is secretly good at heart or whatever, the authors don't have to interrogate just how much harm he is doing to those around him. They needed conflict, used Bramblestar for that, and once the conflict was resolved, went back to use him as a main character without examining the shit he did as an antagonist.

Thornclaw is like the prime example of this he is routinely bigoted and awful and yet is just treated like a normal member of the Clan. So it's not just a Bramblestar, this is a broader writing issue.

aannnd those are my little theories based on this reading. it sucks ass and i need bramblestar to die asap.

[weepingchoir]

also i hope this isn't annoying but do you have any tips on how to make gameplay like properly congruent with setting/theme? i have a friend group with whom i play and one of our games is an overtly political urban fantasy and the system we were using felt kind of super constrictive but we don't know how to fix it.

Step 0 would be to make a game bespoke to the setting in the first place. For the sake of flagrantly tooting my horn, here is the 0.2 draft of my Forged in the Dark, Legions, game developed for the Godfeels setting (incidentally, played as overtly political urban scifantasy.)

Whether you're doing that or hacking (to whichever degree) an extant system to fit a digressing setting, if there's a dissonance, the GM's best bet is to sit down and think about what challenges the players want to face. The reason so much DND (to use the worst example) feels unnatural when piloted by a team that, say, really cares about storytelling and characterization, is because DND is, at its core, a wargame where you're meant to spend hours resolving combat minutiaie. Such wargaming isn't a revelant challenge to a team that cares about tragic backstories and character conversations.

What FITD allowed me to do as I molded it into Legions was create a system where players could be harmed on a personal level by their failures on a sociopolitical theater - "Harm" isn't just, like, Shot, but also Guilty, or Exiled. When I noticed my playgroup cared a great deal about interpersonal conflict with genuine stakes, I codified a PVP system, again with the emphasis that the danger could lie in anything from economic pressure to social group expulsion.

The best thing a GM can do is become at least a little bit of a game designer, if only just enough to houserule what they need in response to the players' ideal story conflicts. To figure that out, you have to identify the best story beats, and the cascade of rules that led to that moment: a dramatically failed or critical hit, a particularly relevant piece of gear, etc. You then contrast that with the worst beats, the ones where the narrative eluded you, and think about what rule was lacking or even punishing in the lead-up to the moment. You can now comparatively extract what rule you wish had existed to enable better action - for example, if your characters spend a lot of time having limp disagreements that feel like they should boil over into a fight but can't, you might be lacking a PVP system. Test your new rule and see if it increases the Fun Quotient at the table: remember that the rules are here so that we're not playing "no, I shot you first", and a rule that requires lawyering is a return to that schoolyard state. Let yourself play a game that's fun most of all.

[paperstorm]

Since we're in the 3.13 feels I've read this very interesting discourse about this episode and i've been wondering about it a lot and i'm really hoping for your opinion on it because I love your blog so much and the way you explain things. https://www.tumblr.com/funfairofgames/711514669820575744/i-feel-like-in-the-whole-tk-should-have-let

I have seen that before and I for sure agree with funfairofgames' addition. Listen we can go back and forth forever with one of them should have worded this or that differently etc but as much as therapy language and strategies are good for helping people improve their communication styles, not every conflict or argument or disagreement is going to play out like it's a reenactment of Proper Conflict Resolution at a corporate HR meeting. People are gonna come in hot or say things they don't mean or word things badly or get defensive etc and it doesn't negate the validity of their feelings if they do any of those things. People aren't robots. So yeah, TK was a little bit defensive. He could have worded his thoughts in a better and more productive way. But the context of that scene is that he's walking into a house where his partner is being frosty to him and he literally doesn't have any idea why because Carlos won't talk to him (a very, very core character trait of Carlos's, extended into S4 as we now know). People aren't mind readers and it's unfair to expect them to be and then punish them when they aren't. I love 3x13 so much because it finally shows Carlos stumbling in a way we hadn't seen before. Up until that point he was a bit two-dimensional, he was sort of the perfect flawless boyfriend, presented as the steady counterpart to TK's traumas and chaos where even his slip-ups (not telling his parents about them, buying the loft ,etc) were somewhat presented by the narrative as actually being TK's fault (or if they weren't entirely TK's fault, the plot in the end became about how TK reacted to them, not about what Carlos had done in the first place.) But someone like that isn't a fully realized character. I love that we got to see Carlos be insecure, have an ego, be a little selfish, react to it all with passive aggression that wasn't fair. When its all boiled down, Carlos was wrong in that episode. He was valid in his hurt feelings, but he was still wrong. I love that we got to see him learn that and make the adjustment and become a better partner.

[andydrysdalerogers]

The ABCs of Nick Vaughn - "H"

Pairing: Reader x Nick Vaughn (Before We Go)

Summary: Children its time to learn your ABCs. And Nick Vaughn is here to teach you the lessons. 26 glimpses in the world of you and Nick Vaughn

Warnings: S-M-U-T!!!! (under 18 please leave the chat!) descriptions of sexual activity including some themes of BDSM, loss of virginity, fluffy bits, pet name etc...

A/N: The new upload will probably be Sundays and Thursdays. Have fun kittens!

I do NOT give permission for my work to be translated or reposted on here or any other site, even if you give me credit. DO NOT REPOST MY FICS. Reblogs, comments, likes, and feedback ALWAYS appreciated

Divider by @firefly-graphics

Previous: G - Glasses

ABC Masterlist - Main Masterlist

H - Hair

From Nick’s point of view... 

One of the little things that intrigued me about her was her hair.  It was constantly changing.  Different colors, different styles each day, different lengths, just not short.  No, she preferred to keep it on the longer side for one reason only.  

I love to play with her hair.  

At first, I just watched, she would brush it out after a shower, swinging it around as she danced and cleaned, placed curls in it for a night out. Her hair was her pride.  It changed with her moods. 

She currently had purple streaks, her job never batting an eye at the color changes. But I could tell she was getting bored with it.  

“Should I cut my hair, Nicky?” she asked, climbing out of the shower.  

“How short?” 

“Like to my chin.” She faced me, motioning to how she wanted it as I unconsciously make a face of disagreement, making her snort in laughter. “I’ll never cut my hair that short love, you know that.” 

“I know, but if you want, I could get used to it.”  

She shook her head. “No, I like it when you play with my hair.  Can’t do that if it’s short.”  

“Yeah? Well, c’mere and I’ll brush it out for you.” I patted the bench next to the bed. I watched as she towel dried it, a soft smile on her face. She looks so beautiful like this, natural and raw.  She sits in front of me and I start gently combing out the wet tangles.  She hums in contentment and the sound goes straight to my groin.  

This is my favorite time of day, just us, domestic and in love.  

“Will you do this for our daughter in the future?” She blinks up at me as I still my hands.  

I lean down and kiss her softly. “For you and my girl. For all of my kids with you.” I smile as I kiss her again.  She twists slightly to deepen the kiss.  I ran a hand on her neck and into her hair to hold her in place. I can smell the lavender floral scent from her shampoo, and it makes me sigh in happiness. I maneuver her to straddle my lap so I can get both of hands into her silky hair.  

Her response was a soft moan, probably because she could feel my cock getting harder underneath her. Her hips moved slightly, and I could feel her core getting hotter.  God what I wouldn’t do for this woman. I just want to grip her hair as I pound her from behind.  

So I do.  

I use her hair like a lasso to keep her in place as I thrust deep and hard into her.  She moans loudly as her body lurches forward, but I keep her in place. She knows to say her safe word if its too much. I can feel how much she likes it; she wants me to keep going, she wants to drain my balls with her pussy.  

This woman will be the death of me as she cums and triggers my own.  I let go of her hair and ease her down.  I ran my fingers in her hair and massaged her scalp. My precious girl.  

Definitely not cutting it ever again, she whispers. I chuckle as I kiss the crown of her head.  

Next

Tag list:

@patzammit @slutforchrisjamalevans @jennmurawski13-writes @firephotogrl74 @texmexdarling @tinkerbelle67 @atoosa22

[kp2brukgaming]

time to write down semi-coherent thought about EoD +it's post expac!

so.. somehow, compared to previous expac n living worlds, EoD feels uh, short? idk, im a person that space out story and not binge everything, but even then EoD feels short

the only memorable things i remember is stuffs with aurene and rama. everything else feels kinda like blurr.... i remember liking the humor.

i did the each map meta events this time. it does helps with the story. dragon's end especially. this time anet put on big achie icon to remind me 'hey, do the meta first before ending the story, or you'll feel like HoT all over again' -- which i appreciated

finale is good tho! super nice. i see they want to culminate the whole dragon cycle saga into these last part. certainly have epic feeling to it.

i like the post expac stuffs too. felt bad for rama for his bothced party. it felt super painful....

LOVING the date with canach

i also like how major npc in previous map's meta is present for gyala delve's story. it ties off nicely! still feels lack of build up and resolution tho. im used to it by this point, gw2 is never great at building up and resolution. and i already got spoiled about it, so im not disappointed to see lack of trahearne hahahaha

it IS jarring to see gw2 suddenly utilize NAKAMA POWAA in post expac in that manner. its so anime. i dont dislike it, could be written more smoothly. VA is doing amazing. wish id see more distressed commander in the future

can i say one thing tho, the part where aurene 'said goodbye' should be done in cgi / cinematic. unless somehow i dont see it....?

ok so gameplay wise. i never did high end content, so when it came to instanced boss fight, i was pleasantly surprised they have more defined pattern n mechanic in normal content. my xiv instict kicks back in >:3 still hate when doing strike that KO'd member cant be rezzed tho :<

being able to fish is highlight of this expac not ironically. i spend many time just fishing.

seitung is my fav map this time. its pretty, and easy to get around.

new kaineng is novel in that its a 'city' that is also explorable map. but novel wore off when getting around is hard. i remember i got motion sickness often when im in that map. maybe i just havent memorize ziplines n lift location. almost felt like tangled depth, but concrete. almost, but TD is worse. echovald wild.... is also a bit confusing to get around, but at least the ground level have 'clear path' i can blaze with roller beetle to get around for meta wwww dragons end is... okay. its a map for grand meta event, the main attraction is not on the scenery, as long as i can get around quickly, im fine with it.

and then, stuffs i dont like that i nitpick. the inflammatory part. the part that probably make people whos unfortunate to read this itching to make counter post in expressing disagreement (probably lol)

in the cut.

i hate they have to kill mai trin. she doesnt have to die, her death doesnt further anything. she can jsut be benched. it makes me dislike anka even more. i dont like her when shes hurting aurene, and i feel like her reasoning is stupid. she has similar vibe to scarlet in wanting destruction, but scarlet is bound to mordremoth, she has no choice. beside, making mai trin+scarlet fend off anka is super epic, it could be redemption for both girls. up to this point, i dont have 'ugh i dont like this character' in petty way, and congratz anka for earning that place (zojja came close, i dislike her being super petty and abbrassive esp to eir --i dont even like eir that much. but shes felt very different when i play as asura, shes super caring in tough big sister way. so i can let her slide)

post soo won got loose, and we have to confront joon, but joon threw a big tantrum. i understand shes stressed and not thinking clearly, loosing soo won and putting the whole cantha on energy disaster, but when she rambles about 'not sorry for being who she is/can' i was liek, "girl idk where that came from, now is not the time!" super out of left field. no one in commander side is questioning her ability, she just almost trauma dump on commander right when aurene is at stake.

now when i think about it, i got riled up real hot when either taimi or aurene got in harms way lol.

on to post expac stuffs,

stop making me care about eir goddamn it. its getting annoying at this point. i have nothing against eir, i just dont feel anything, stop making me to. if anything i felt bad for killing trahearne, but we cant have that grieve can we, anet?

of all ppl anet think commander is feeling guilty for...

you know who i feel more guilty for instead of cinder? those poor unarmed bastards smodur told me to drop bombs to inside bunker in drizzle wood.

id even go further by saying my commander still have regrets over shelling his own troops in PS, or over Tonn and Apatia's death. tho i understand anet cant do it because they long ditched permutations.

well, its not that bad actually.

will try to save to buy SOTO for now, or trying to get sule up to EoD as well.

[rust-bearer]

I’ve got a whole zombie au one-shot planned out that I’ll be finishing soon, and I’ll definitely send a link when it’s done, but in the meantime I’ve got some other au stuff I’ve thought of. It never ends 🥲 but anyway, this is mostly more Combaticon related things and mainly revolves around transportation:

1. Not sure where I wanna focus or start or go with it, but to begin, I’m debating on their choice of transportation. Sure, encountering one Combaticon being in the wild is startling, but something tells me they travel in packs. I think that before the apocalypse, almost all members of the family had separate vehicles since Swindle is super fucking rich and refuses to carpool.

2. Post-apocalypse, though… hrmmm you could possibly do an electric vehicle? I dunno if those possibly run on electricity from solar panels? I don’t know if that could work. A simpler solution could be one of those church van things, or just a van used by paint companies or the vans that are stereotypically used by creepy kidnappers, I dunno just a van like that. Where does the gas come from, though? My biggest solution is that they go around and straight up siphon the gas from various vehicles LMAO they’re not passing up free opportunities.

3. Vans are nice for big groups of people, and I’d say five people plus Aid plus any kids they bring is fairly big? I dunno. Anyway, it’s just another way to cause complains and disagreements and arguments and such. Nobody can decide whether or not seatbelts or necessary or whether they should keep it clean/empty or keep things like napkins and condiments and such. Brawl and Onslaught, as the oldest siblings, demand that seatbelts be used, much to Vortex’s disappointment.

4. Seating arrangements are almost as bad as arguing over how full the gas tank should be kept on an average basis. Onslaught is usually the only one who drives the van for the most part. Sometimes Brawl borrows it for trips to the nearest Tractor Supply Co, but that’s the extent of his driving. Vortex and Blast Off are both permanently banned from driving, both for various reasons, and Swindle absolutely refuses to even touch the (as he puts it) “outdated, unsafe, rusty piece of shit’s excuse for a steering wheel.”

5. Ironically, despite his unwillingness to drive, Swindle is ADAMANT about sitting up front. When questioned about it (mostly by Vortex, who is a bit of a musical chairs passenger and hasn’t sat in the front seat of a vehicle for some time now), Swindle typically resorts to the “I get carsick” excuse. Nobody actually knows if he’s telling the truth or not, but nobody really cares enough to challenge the claim. Also, despite claiming to hate the town they live in due to the “red-neck” vibes it gives off, he knows his way around the area best out of everyone.

I’m not 100% satisfied with the “we have a creepy van now” solution, mostly because other variations of transportation exist that DON’T involve guzzling gas and making a shit-ton of noise with a vehicle that lost its muffler upwards of three times, but I don’t think the Combaticon’s would settle for anything different. Also, Swindle is against anything that involves excessive physical exertion, so extra points for poor long-term transportation planning. That’s all I’ve got though, and hopefully I’ll have that one-shot written soon.

Swindle is both the most adaptable but also the one who will complain the most and I cannot imagine how he felt when he had to go back to sharing a car with his siblings. Like. For as smart and easy to switch tracks as Swindle is, he’s never going to get over the fact that he now rides in a glorified van as his main source of transport.

Vortex, when he’s not playing musical chairs with seating, of course is like. Don’t worry guys I’ll just ride my horse. No you can’t ride her. I mean, you can try, but she bites. And the horse DOES bite because Vortex trained it to bite anyone who isn’t him. He thinks it’s hilarious. Then he’s a little less enthusiastic when children arrive with their proddy little fingers that the horse absolutely wants to bite and Aw fuck first aid is gonna get so mad.

But anyway. Yes Vortex rides his horse into town for supplies. Saddlebags and bandana/gas mask and both gun and sword. The zombies are sluggishly intrigued by the horse and more intrigued by the prospect of eating Vortex, but horse hide is THICK and any grabby hands just graze off the surface.

I’ve always wanted to throw a specific twist on the zombies, because every story does and for good reason; Kingdom has zombies that sleep during the day (kind of!), 28 days later has sprinters, Last of Us has fungus zombies; I Am A Hero zombies are superhuman and retain some memories.

WITH all that being said. I think a riff on that could be fun. The zombies continue to do whatever was last on their mind at time of death during the day. At night they seek out humans and invest all their energy into that. So you could wander the city during the day, provided you don’t alert the zombies or disturb them; at night, you have to hide. I can imagine going into a mall, for instance, and you try to grab something from a store, but the zombie security guard’s last routine and thoughts were ‘stop theft’ so you suddenly uh. Have to run, because he starts screaming, and everyone else reacts to try and get you, etc.

[randomnameless]

Seeing how badly sothis/byleth get treated by intsys makes me feel really badly for them and their fans. I thought self inserts were meant to fawn over the player but instead I see the company retcon them, replace, and low but high key shitting on them. I don’t think I would ever see this with characters like Link or Persona or the little pokemon kids so I’m not sure what intsys is trying to tell us about sothis/byleth if this what we see done to them, “they’re just a mindless beast”

As I realised thanks to talking and exchanging with people around and after years of discourse...

Fodlan suffers from "self-insert worship" but in a batman 5D chess gambit, from doylist wise, "player worship". Earl Grey must sell, thus the character who always loves the player and was made, designed, as the player's love-interest (Billy's), Supreme Leader's worship takes the cake.

As already pointed out, Fodlan games try their damnest to erase or not give any figs about Flamey, the "War" is just a background buzz and units are on snow class, and if something is to blamed for the destruction and deaths caused by the war it's deflected on the mole people, "Church/Kingdom BaD because they don't offer their heads on a platter" or the world and its systum - and the worst offender, on "crusts", aka, blood from a genocided race that mingled with "humanity" and is used as the scapegoat for everything wrong in the world. The "alien blood" is to blame and the real responsible for why Miklan tried to seduce people who didn't want to be seduced, or why classicism exist.

I exaggerate a bit, Heroes tried to poke holes at this smokescreen and it ended up with Supreme Leader running away from Lissa (the most persuasive character in the franchise?) because, hey, in her verse, no one told her 1+1 = 2, or no one she couldn't introduce to Aymr I guess.

(of course we have the lol!supports from the besf, but any opposition is resolved with a teaspoon in the following supports, there's no disagreement nothing, it's always "and John realised off-screen Supreme Leader was right and he was wrong", ultimate kuddos to the Ferdie support though, the biggest joke - but again, FE16's supports kind of suck).

With that in mind, Billy was always intended to be the SS Lord, and to opposed Supreme Leader (that's the gravitas and main steak served when you order Fodlan : "u will feel bad bcs u turn against ur precious student sad uwus").

And yet, not to prevent the irl players from, idk, buying Supreme Leader merch or routes or being engaged, even if it's through foolish fan-faction wars, Billy takes a backseat as Nopes fully embrace the core of the Fodlan games : Hresvelg Tea.

Player must feel bad for siding against Supreme Leader - so Supreme Leader must somehow be right, and make people at least some of them surface-level wonder if the ends justify the means, right?

Billy, when they are their character and not a self insert UI, thus must bow down to this rule - everything must be thrown in a blender so Supreme Leader's steak will look appetising, even if you have to destroy the tastiest risotto ever done in the process.

Rhea cannot have spotlight else we will be in a Lissa situation again - so if she has any, it'll play in the red herring already debunked 10 chapters ago "Church BaD Rhea BaD maybe she should have ruled over the world instead of letting HuMaNiTy rule itself". In Nopes? Conveniently, Uncle pops up so Rhea's goal changes, and she will prefer to save the world instead of putting the person who wants her out of Fodlan by tomorrow morning because her ears are pointy to the sword.

Dimitri? "BaD" as long as he wants to kill Supreme Leader, but when he'll become the Saviour King, he'll try to spare her and regret having to kill her - fuck to Baldo, Waldi, and the "creatures masquerading as humans" I guess - in FE16 ; in Nopes, he'll also join the "Church BaD" gang, thus isn't "really" opposing Supreme Leader, right?

Clout became a thing.

And Billy? Well, Barney's existence is their nemesis, so to prop Barney they should shit on Billy, right?

But to shit on them to this point - throwing them with the other Nabateans in Nopes in the "dgaf" trashcan but also, confirming the worst theories from FE16 (Jerry's not the best dad ever) hurts. Billy was, this time, sacrificed to make place for the new self-insert, but also, imho, to showcase how the damn space lizards are evil (and not only because we're playing an agarthan game/route, but also because it checks a certain someone's agenda).

So while I think it's less something of "the devs hate Billy" it's more like "the devs want you to buy Hresvelg Tea".

[trillscienceofficer]

Ooh I'd love your DVD commentary on Let's go back and/or Projecting

Thank you!! I already wrote some commentary on “Let's go back, let's go back and start again” (you can read it here), so I thought I might try this with “Projecting”.

I wrote this B7 fic for the Femslash Exchange last year and as I've mentioned before, it rekindled my enthusiasm for fic writing in a moment when I thought I'd lost it for good. At its heart, it is a '5 things'-type of fic, with the gimmick of the rock climbing holoprogram which is what allows B'Elanna and Seven to see past their preconceptions and not fall into their usual adversarial dynamic. Maybe a good holodeck program is just what they always needed—they can express their competitive streak by hauling themselves up walls rather than stepping on each other's toes on the clock.

DVD extras-style commentary under the cut!

“You accepted the dare. It’s out of my hands now,” she says, lifting up her palms and leaning back on her chair.

As I've hinted a lot of this fic is about the idea of 'friendly competition', and how I think B'Elanna thrives on it. I've met a lot of people over the years who just appreciate being actually challenged by other people, as opposed to more abstract type of challenges (eg 'getting better at x hobby'). So here we have a newly-single, hopelessly under-stimulated B'Elanna, playing a game of dares with Harry in an attempt to stave off the existential dread.

Harry grimaces. “Here goes nothing.” He tips up the mug quickly and downs the content in five long gulps. He slams the mug back on the table, eyes tightly squeezed shut. He swallows again. “So—bitter.” B’Elanna smirks. “Enough to make you gag. Unless you’ve been drinking that stuff since you were a little kid.”

The dare itself is... somewhat specific, Harry is having the same experience I had when I tried eating the EXTREMELY bitter shoots of Ruscus aculeatus aka butcher's broom, a spiny underbrush plant that's fairly common in Europe (although eating its shoots is not quite as common, ime). My wife is used to them since she was a child and has no problem eating them but they genuinely made me gag by how bitter they were. I thought it would be funny to come up with a similar Klingon delicacy!

B’Elanna suppresses a groan. She wishes she were better at making Harry understand that being the head of a whole department is—different. She has to maintain some distance, or she won’t be able to keep giving orders and override disagreements. Maybe it is more for her own sake than the rest of the engineers, but so what. She needs to not spend so much of her time off duty with the same people she sees every day on the shift. Climbing sounded like the ideal compromise between a challenging hobby and her overbearing boss’ idea of a good pastime, but it turns out that doing it alone sucks out both the fun and what Chakotay thought was beneficial about it. She probably should just give up on the idea entirely.

Being on a starship for so many years with the same hundred other people, so many of whom are your subordinates, must be so stressful! Not even taking into consideration the 'every day we might die'-type of deal the Voyager crew finds itself in. I'm surprised every day that B'Elanna doesn't snap. I think not having the experience of managing a whole department is an interesting difference between Harry and her—and also why he doesn't quite get her reservations here.

Ha, Harry did not think this through. This is easy. She inhales deeply, fixes her gaze on Harry and a smile on her lips. “Alright then,” she says. “Watch this.”

... and then she fails miserably in front of him, lol. In my head this whole scene is called 'B'Elanna slips on a banana peel' and this bit of dialogue is a reflection of that.

“Are books not to your liking, Lieutenant?” Not even a minute inside and Seven is already at it. B’Elanna inhales and exhales, counting to five. “I like reading well enough, I just meant that I don’t think climbing technique is suited to being learned from a book. It’s much easier showing it in person, and trying it out for yourself.”

I love when they get snippy... I don't think Seven ever does this maliciously but she is often way too blunt, and B'Elanna is very defensive by nature. Talking it out is rarely a setup that can work between them, imho.

“I don’t think you will have much trouble with this holoprogram. William Chapman climbs one-handed sometimes, now that he’s recovering from a shoulder injury. He seems to have no problem hanging out with the rest of his bouldering buddies.” Seven’s eyes widen, and she gapes. Whoops, wrong thing to say. “I mean, not that it’s the same situation as yours,” B’Elanna amends. She can feel herself getting tangled up in intricacies she’s not equipped to navigate, so she stands up quickly.

The whole thing about the Borg implants making Seven 'stronger' has always been a bit iffy to me. Sure they may make her more resilient and faster and have better reflexes etc., but also make her interactions with the crew and the ship not easily predictable. Obviously the Borg scifi crap makes this a very imperfect metaphor, but to me there's space to interpret Seven's implants as actual prosthetics that have both pros and cons, so that's what I did in this fic. Climbing gyms were definitely not made with people who use prosthetics in mind, but there absolutely are disabled climbers. Here B'Elanna is afraid of having compared two different situations inappropriately, but in reality Seven is blanking because she's the one who caused Chapman's injuries, as well as having indirectly contributed to Janeway's. The conundrum Seven finds herself in won't be clear to B'Elanna for a while.

B’Elanna sighs, raising the heel of a chalky hand to her forehead. “You generally discuss strategies before and after an attempt. I’m sure there are people who find running commentary useful, but I’m not one of them.”

I hesitate to call what I did in preparation for this fic 'research' on rock climbing, but this is a common refrain when you look for 'rock climbing etiquette'—don't give climbers unwanted advice, especially not as they climb. I feel like this is something Seven would need to be reminded of, her Borg conceit coming through very often in grating ways.

Seven nods, acknowledging her words. “Then I propose structuring the way we exchange information. A game, if you will.” This conversation is going in the wildest directions. B’Elanna crosses her arms on her chest, considering Seven. “I wouldn’t have guessed you’re the type for games.” “You forget that I have been regularly spending time with Naomi Wildman.”

Ha, I'm very fond of this back-and-forth. For one, I wanted Seven to be the one to reach out and try to mend things between them, and second I love her attempts at jokes. B'Elanna isn't usually very impressed by them, but I think Seven sometimes is able to catch her off guard, and this in one of those cases.

Oh, it’s on now. Because of course it is a game, therefore a contest within the larger contest of climbing side by side. Trying to delay its start might very well be an admission of defeat.

Oh she absolutely can't let Seven gain the upper hand, even it means meeting her on the holodeck again :)

Seven is implacable. “Why did you fall?” “I wasn’t strong enough,” B’Elanna grumbles as she pats her legs, with little success in removing the chalk. “We previously agreed that that is not an acceptable answer,” Seven points out.

Here Seven and B'Elanna are bringing their little game one step further. It's a challenge I've seen climbers do with each other, and explicitly avoiding saying stuff like 'not strong enough' was part of it as well. I think B'Elanna would jump to say "I failed because I'm not ___ enough", and I loved writing Seven's exactitude counter that impulse. It's a way in which their respective jagged edges can fit together pretty neatly, and actually help each other grow.

B’Elanna is taken aback. It had not occurred to her that the two of them were fairly equal in more than just climbing ability, but Seven has a point. B’Elanna hates to think of herself as ‘stronger than the average humanoid’—the phrase is just the kind of inaccurate crap that seems to stick perniciously well to Klingons—but she has had her share of strife because of it. She always stood out among humans, especially as a child, when she couldn’t yet tell when people were falsely blaming her and her supposedly superhuman strength to clear themselves of any responsibility. Seven’s situation isn’t exactly the same, it’s more about Seven not having quite figured out how to fine-tune her interactions with others—but then again she’s had what, two years of Borg-free life? B’Elanna doesn’t blame her for wanting a space where she doesn’t have to hold back at all and nothing horrible will happen to the people around her. It explains a few other things, too. “Is this why you accepted to try out this holoprogram with me?” “Yes. And I had not yet found a suitable replacement activity for the Velocity holoprogram.” That’s a candid admission alright. B’Elanna can’t even be mad, she had wanted to find a new gym buddy just as much, hadn’t she? And she only asked Seven because Harry dared her to.

This bit is the heart of the fic. It's B'Elanna seeing Seven... well not exactly for the first time, but with fresh eyes. I know this kind of understanding is its own trope in B7 fic but here I've tried to keep it lowkey. It's a very mundane realization, and the way they admit to each other that they've started climbing together for their own selfish reasons gives them a possibility for a fresh start as well.

“What, because I’m shorter?” B’Elanna sneers. Oh Seven, such an underhanded move. “Hold that thought until I learn to dyno properly—once I can jump from one hold to the next I’m going to destroy you.” Seven’s eyes glint in the fluorescent glow of the gym. “I will endeavor to be prepared for that eventuality. Shall I attempt the last climb of our session?” B’Elanna crosses her arms on her chest. “Be my guest,” she says, and it’s a taunt.

And well, the fresh start is full of connotations :) They don't know it yet and are a ways off from realizing it, but I wanted to write the first hints of the actual attraction developing between them here.

Yes, maybe the disagreements she and Seven have had in the past have been explosive. And very public. But that’s part of the problem, isn’t it? It’s the reason why B’Elanna can’t think of their bouldering sessions as just climbing anymore—it’s also somewhere far away from the crowd, with none of the expectations the rest of the ship puts on them. A place that challenges the both of them so thoroughly that it clears the field from the debris of any of their past interactions, and that leaves B’Elanna exhausted and with a feeling of accomplishment and exhilaration she’s been hard pressed to find in a very, very long time.

The confrontation with Chakotay is a central part of this fic as well because it's the first time B'Elanna is forced to admit that something is happening to her since she started bouldering with Seven. Again, she's not quite there yet—but she's finding that she just likes spending the time on the holodeck, and that it makes her feel more alive than she has in a long time. Good hobbies with good people will do that to you! (ngl, I might've been talking about my own relationship with writing fic as a hobby here.)

I said this before but the theme of 'space' is something I come back to over and over when writing B7, and this isn't the first time I wrote it in a fic. I think B'Elanna and Seven would only be able to connect if they were somehow untethered from the ship and its existing hierarchy and interpersonal dynamics. Here it's the holodeck—perhaps it's the Kira/Dax shipper in me that thinks of holograms as a space where women can realize their mutual attraction, lol.

Chakotay makes a face and fixes his eyes on the bulkhead. “I really don’t want to know what you could possibly mean by that. Nope. Not images I want in my head. Please just keep it in the holodeck.”

I loved having Chakotay immediately jump to the conclusion that if B'Elanna and Seven aren't wrestling in the holodeck then they must be fucking, no matter what B'Elanna said about rock climbing. No other option possible! To be fair, B'Elanna being so sincere with him is not a common occurrence, I bet; it probably means something really earth-shattering is happening behind the doors of Holodeck 1. (And he's not wrong!)

B’Elanna wonders if she’s just created a monster. Falling off the wall from laughing too hard doesn’t seem such a terrible prospect, though.

I'm losing it a little rereading this scene—probably my favorite one to write. B'Elanna and Seven being now comfortable enough with each other that their back and forth is mostly wry joking... Truly the ideal B7 dynamic to me. Here there are also more hints that whatever there is between them is turning into actual attraction—Seven is trying so hard to keep B'Elanna in the holodeck a little longer, and B'Elanna is noticing Seven's physicality more and more. I tried to not make the latter part too trite, though—what B'Elanna notices about Seven is the way she lets herself appear 'less than perfect' in order to keep up with B'Elanna, and the way she's obviously becoming stronger.

Seven shakes her head. “I share your discomfort with the custom.”

“Is this because one of your dates ended up in sickbay?” B’Elanna teases.

Seven sighs, rather theatrically. “Is your disillusionment due to the end of your relationship with Tom Paris?” she deadpans.

I rewatched “Someone To Watch Over Me” recently and boy do I hate that episode—yet this fic assume its events have happened fairly recently! But I couldn't pass the opportunity to link Chapman's injuries to Seven's issues with interacting with the rest of the crew. And I still made my point against the episode anyway here—what allows Seven to understand whatever 'dating' is for (and that it's not something she cares for) is a frank discussion with B'Elanna, rather than any of the Doctor's methods.

B’Elanna is not dense. Of course the possibility had crossed her mind before—how could it not, with the kind of intense feelings Seven always seems to stoke in her? They’ve traded rivalry for friendly competition, but the all-consuming quality of their interactions hasn’t changed. It doesn’t take much of a leap to get from there to unfulfilled sexual tension.

Originally this scene was very different, it would've involved Tom making an off-hand comment about B'Elanna and Seven spending so much time together and B'Elanna realizing that she doesn't mind the implications so much (and replying to Tom in kind). It came too close to character-bashing though, and that's boring. I liked having B'Elanna trying to be pragmatic about the crush she's so obviously nursing now, and which she hates having with every fibre of her being.

It’s as if the gravity plating had suddenly reversed its polarity, and B’Elanna had no way to stop walking on the ceiling. It’s impossible for her to hear Seven’s gravelly voice greeting her in front of the holodeck door without a shiver. Whenever Seven is spotting her, or helping her up, B’Elanna is painfully aware of every square centimeter of skin that’s in contact with Seven’s. Half of their sessions is following closely from below as the other puts all of her skill and effort into reaching the top—B’Elanna’s mouth has never felt drier than when watching Seven hoisting herself up on an overhang, deltoid muscles conspicuous as she competently pivots her whole body to the next hold. The frustration of being reduced to a mass of unfulfilled wants makes B’Elanna climb so sloppily in comparison and every time she’s back on the mat there Seven is, relentlessly asking ‘why did you fall?’.

I really do love this paragraph. The experience of a crush is so intense, and so annoying when you're over 25. B'Elanna would be so frustrated by it, and it was very funny to lay out that frustration. imho B'Elanna is a pretty closed off person both emotionally and physically; it's hard for her to live as truly connected, 'in' the world. But suddenly she's acquiring all this sensory information almost against her own will, all because of a crush emotional red alert. It's terrifying and exhilarating all at once. I absolutely think she loves Seven's voice (relatable), and in other fic I've talked about her having distinct associations for the way Seven smells, so it's... a bit of a theme.

“B’Elanna,” Seven cries out from behind her. “What is it that you’re practicing right now?”

One of the comments on this fic rightly recognized this as the turning point—Seven here is kind of panicking and doing a bit of a hail mary, but it's the right thing to say, and it snaps B'Elanna right out of the self-recrimination spiral she was in. They've gotten to know each other pretty well over the course of the fic, and this both allows Seven to remind B'Elanna of a genuine moment of connection, and for her part B'Elanna doesn't really doubt Seven's intentions, even if she's taken aback.

B’Elanna laughs. She has to, because Seven is still so unmistakably herself even as her poise is showing cracks. B’Elanna finds out then and there that she would not have Seven any other way, occasional condescension included—B’Elanna can and will always give her tit for tat. And there are so, so many new exciting possibilities for retaliation now.

There sure are :) The Voyager crew doesn't know yet what hit them, with B'Elanna and Seven getting together... <3

[videostak]

ya theyre leaving at like 10 rn i am not going to that 6am swap meet. fuck my life ugh... like obv gonna be waken in the middle of the night when they get back ._. srsly can they be considerate of my life for fucking once. like knowing that i do this for work and is my only source of money and then to do something like that on a total whim and try to downplay how it will affect my sleep and morning tomorrow is srlsy making me so pissed.. like the amount of effort i and to an extent my sister will go to to be considerate of others just to have her do shit like this is so infuriating. like literally my job for a record store that needs inventory desperately and i cant fucking go cause of my asshole inconsiderate mom. reaaaaallly great. i mean best case scenario i can drive up to the estate sale tahts supposed to be at 8. id have to leave at liiiike idk 6:30. so probably not that too. should try to go to the other 8:00 swap meet too or the yard sale but starting to feel real uncomfortable abt going to the swap meet cause of all the stuff around that. so annoying for me to plan all this out just for her to shit all over it cause she wants an excuse to get drunk and trauma dump to her cousin and make to put her cousin in a super awkward weird position. sucha  genuinely awful person ugh.... i mean idk i should goo tomorrow but like really dont kno if ill be able to get up in time. idk i think ill still push rly hard ill try to get a coffee tomorrow at mcdonalds and stuf but like idk just so fucking annoyed rn like dude this is literally my job right now that A LOT of things are riding on have some fucking respect and learn when ur making things much more difficult for ppl. what annoys me so much is when i told her that i wouldnt be able to go tomorrow if she went out as late as shes planning to she just tried to go supportingly “ok we’re gonna go at 10 and tomorrow u can go wherever u want and dont worry about it :)” while just ignoring what i said. lol. something abt idk if all parents are like this or if most are but like that level of being so in denial abt everything that u just respond to any attempt at talking things out with this very fake positivity vibe is so awful. like she does it so much whenever something comes up thats a problem and its so annoying. she did it thursday too when i wasnt sure if i was gonna be able to go cause of my dads dog and she ignored what we said and cut us off and went dont worry ill handle it all :) even tho it was like not even clear what she would be “handling” cause she just wanted to get us to stop talking abt it.  like not even aware of how my dad lets the dog in without warning and how the cats and the dog need to be watched cause he’ll start playing rough. like idk what to even do when ppl genuinely just do not listen to anything u tell them at all. theres no reason for me to tell her something before hand cause she’ll just do whatever the fuck she originally intended to and then try to “discuss” it or apologize after even if youve already had a what u thought was productive conversation days before abt it. like on the first weekend i drove to the swap meet i had told her before i was gonna let the dogs in the back right i went to let her kno beforehand and she agreed there was no argument no even hint at there being a disagreement so i thought things were good and then when i actually was gonna leave she was like no dont let them out theyll bark its too early and i had to get my sister to get her to agree to let them out. like srlsy sooo annoying same thing happens A LOT when having to schedule things shell be in complete agreeance and then when the time comes to do smthn she will like bring up something out of nowhere that she def knew b4 hand  but was just waiting to bring up last second. like she’ll say we should schedule smthn for the vet on a day and then reveal that the vets actually closed that day when that day actually comes etc. or will lie and say it is. like i need to take the cats to the vet soon cause cassettes worms are still present and dendy needs to get neutered and she said she’d call monday even tho its smthn shes already been lagging on for a long time so im just like waiting to see what excuse she’ll bring up then or if she actually does intend to call. like she could bring up an excuse or just spend the whole day in her room and ignore it when i bring it up. ughhh well i will try to go tomorrow i think. i mean im gonna shave and shower just incase i do. i dont think ill wear shorts tho not rly feeling it atm since i could be nervous if i do go to the yard sale. but willl rly have to see