#and how all the kids and oba-chans love her

[theinternetisaweboflies]

tfw tae-chan goes out on her first errand and comes back with 20 million yen

[keouil]

let us stand a chance

gojo and shoko are invited to megumi's pta meeting. 1k. gojo/shoko. fluff. also on ao3.

“You want me to what?”

The smile on Gojo’s face was starting to thin. Whispering under his breath, says lowly, “Hold my hand, Shoko.”

Shoko frowns, looking over at him in confusion. “But why.”

“Because,�� Gojo mumbles from the corner of his mouth, smiling face still deceptively angled towards the hustle and bustle of Megumi’s school and body feigning casual. He was making grabby hands at her and she wanted to slap his arms away. “That’s what parents do or something. I looked it up online.”

“But we’re not parents,” Shoko deadpans. “Let alone his—”

“Oh my god!” Gojo snaps, turning to face her and match her glare with his own. From his peripheral he could see Megumi slowly start to inch away from them, bowing his head low in humiliation. “Just hold my damn hand, Shoko! Am I asking for the world! And Megumi, for the love of God, stop moving and stay there!”

Shoko reached for the neck of Megumi’s uniform, dragging him back and pinning him under her. “What is the big deal? We’re not here as his actual parents, you know.” 

Gojo bristles, forcefully taking Megumi away from her and covering his ears. “Not so loud!” he hisses. “Jesus Christ. It’s like you want us to lose custody or something.”

Shoko’s eyebrow twitches. “Again, we’re not—”

“Shh!” Gojo brings a finger to his lips, hushing her. His eyes were wide with thinly veiled alarm. Megumi was squirming from under his hold and trying to wiggle his way out, to no avail. “Just be quiet! We only have to endure this for a little while and you can go back to smoking and Megumi can pretend to not be relieved he actually has people show up to these things unlike half his classmates.”

Megumi finally manages to bite his way out of Gojo’s hand. “I’m not relieved,” he declares, glaring up at Gojo with all the snark a ten-year-old can possibly possess in that puny state. “I don’t want you here. I never did.”

“We can work on your communication skills later,” Gojo remarks, ruffling the top of his head. After a while he frowns, crouches down, and begins to fervently obsess over a barely visible stain on his uniform. “Didn’t we just get this dry-cleaned last week? What if your teacher sees this and thinks you don’t have enough clean clothes? What if—”

It's that time the doors to Megumi’s classroom finally open.

An elderly woman emerges into the hall, her face dotted with the telling signs of aged sun spots and an easy smile tugging at her eyes graced with crow's feet. Immediately Gojo softened at the gentle oba-san vibe she gave off. 

“Megumi-chan? Are these your…” she searches for the words slowly. “...guardians?”

“We prefer the term life savers,” Gojo beckons forward, reaching a hand out and flashing her his signature smile. “Guardian is too stuffy.”

“Ah,” Megumi’s teacher smiles knowingly, giving him a firm handshake of her own. “You must be Gojo Satoru then.”

Gojo makes a barely audible squeaking sound. “Yes,” he gushes. “Why yes, that’s me. Megumi-kun must—”

“Megumi here won’t stop talking about you in class,” the teacher supplies, shooting him a knowing look. “He keeps saying you’re way too involved in his life and thinks you don’t have one of your own if you keep meddling in his,” she continues breezily. Behind him, he can hear Shoko snickering. “But you know how boys his age are. They complain about everything.”

For the second time in just a few minutes, Gojo’s smile was starting to fray. “Yes,” he coughs to mask the lump in his throat. “That he does.”

“I’m sorry, miss, I didn’t catch your name,” the teacher looks behind him, at Shoko who had her hands on Megumi’s shoulders and was looking way too amused for her own good. “You are..?”

"The one who actually saves this kid’s life,” Shoko says, at the same time Gojo quips back, “Female influence.”

They exchanged a look. 

Megumi steps forward and addresses his teacher. “Ieiri-san is my doctor. This man is.. just Gojo. Or whatever.”

Gojo has half the mind to wack him on the head. But maybe not now, not when there’s other people present and he could potentially lose the guardianship status he fought tooth and nail for. And maybe not now, when Megumi has a shit-eating grin on his face at knowing exactly what he wants to do to him and why he can’t exactly do it. Just yet. 

Gojo coughs again. “Well then,” he turns back to the teacher, all fake smiles. “Shall we get started?”

-

“Honestly that went better than I expected.”

“You called her mommy and begged her to fix you,” Shoko points out while cutting the crusts off Megumi’s tonkatsu sando. “And if that wasn’t humiliating enough, you talked shit about every single one of his classmates and threatened to sue the school if they wouldn’t stop making orphan jokes.”

They were at the top floor of Shibuya Sky, lounging on the rooftop cafe and as Gojo liked to say, look down at the peasants below. Megumi was given two options as a reward for shutting his mouth the entire meeting: it was either a) a Gojo-free day of his choice, or b) an omakase at one of Tokyo’s famous dining spots. He of course chose the former and wanted to cash it in now, today, this instant; much to Gojo’s chagrin who also and of course, to no one’s surprise, expertly maneuvered the conversation and everyone else into agreeing to the latter like they knew he would do.

“Well someone has to do it!” Gojo insists, pushing a plate of tempura to Megumi who was frowning down at everything like usual. “Kids these days have no manners.”

“But isn’t he already dealing with it himself though?” Shoko asks. “The kid beat up a classmate twice his size. I feel like we should be giving him more credit here.”

“The kid can hear you,” mumbles Megumi, munching on a piece of sashimi and refusing everything Gojo was beckoning him to eat. 

“Right, but well, of course,” Gojo ignores him, tearing open a pack of wasabi and mixing it with soy sauce the way he knew Megumi liked to take his sushi. “I mean I can’t have anyone living under my roof and not knowing how to pull a punch or two.”

Shoko looks at him pointedly. “He’s ten.”

“And about to be eleven soon,” Gojo supplies matter-of-factly. “Which means he’s about to enter secondary school. The kids are going to be meaner. We need to make him the meanest.”

“Honestly,” Shoko sighs, shoulders sagging. “Why not just let him be a kid for now? He hasn’t even shown any signs for j-u-j-u-t-s-u yet, so why bother?”

“I can spell too,” Megumi supplies, sitting between them, uncaring and now apparently so disinterested in the food and everything he had to make it everyone’s problem. “I’m not dumb.”

“That you are not,” Gojo admonishes proudly, gesturing to him with his chopsticks. Of course he chose that moment to acknowledge his existence. “I mean, have you seen his grades? Not bad, right?”

“No, he’s actually quite smart,” Shoko comments, the ghost of a smile on his face. “Maybe we should keep having Ijichi as his home tutor.”

“Should?” Gojo scoffs. “I think we have no choice but to have him on permanent payroll. That's fine with you, right, Megumi?”

Megumi shrugs.

“That’s a yes,” Shoko translates, filling his cup with water.

“And what was that all about them thinking you were my girlfriend?” Gojo laughs, an airy thing, and if it weren’t for the red tinge on his ears Megumi would have believed his nonchalance. “Like, hello. I already told them we weren’t like that.”

Shoko shrugs. “Both our names are on his emergency file.”

“Yeah but that part about seeing us pick him up from school everyday?” Gojo continues, trying to catch Shoko’s eye that was busy looking over at the speciality dessert menu and encouraging Megumi to choose whichever he liked. “So like—what—they just assume we were together because of that?” 

“You introduce us as his parents to every single teacher you meet,” Shoko glances at him from the top of the menu. “It’s only natural people will draw their conclusions.”

“You didn’t bother correcting them.”

“I didn’t need to,” Shoko says distractedly. “That look on Megumi’s face was confirmation enough.”

At this Gojo’s eyes snap to Megumi’s—now so obviously entertained and devious and childish—that he shoots him back with a look of accusation. Whispering lowly, he retorts, “Thanks for that, by the way.”

Megumi’s smile morphs into a shit-eating grin. “Anytime.”

“And anyway, would it be so bad?” Gojo turns his attention back to Shoko, who had just finished rattling off an order for matcha tiramisu (Megumi’s favourite) and daifuku tsubuan (Gojo’s favourite). “If people thought we were together, I mean.”

Shoko cocks an eyebrow. “Yes,” she says. “Why are you even asking?”

“What would be so bad about it?”

“Aside from the fact we’re lying?”

“Could have fooled them, apparently.”

Shoko sighs. “Gojo,” she starts. “They were a group of 50-something women who think people Megumi’s age are the future of our generation and spoil them rotten. Of course they would be hopeless romantics too.”

“Guess we have that in common then,” Gojo smirks.

Shoko scoffs. “You’re not a hopeless romantic.”

Gojo leans in closer, still smirking. “Wouldn’t you like to know?”

Megumi coughs once. “No, I really wouldn’t.”

“Not now, Megumi,” Gojo pushes him back. “The grown-ups are talking.”

“Tell me one thing that you find romantic,” Shoko challenges, crossing her arms.

Gojo tilts his head to the side, thinking. “Oh, I don’t know,” he muses. “I think going on weekly dinners to catch up with each other is nice. Scheduling movie dates where you both take turns picking which film to watch can be quite lovely too. I wouldn’t mind going on late konbini runs and walking to the nearest park to talk about whatever, either.”

“But those aren’t romantic,” Shoko rolls her eyes. “We’ve been doing that for years.”

Gojo waits patiently for her brain to catch up. Shoko is the smartest tool in the shed he knows, but it’s times like this he can see the lack of common sense she has sometimes. But when it clicks, oh.

Shoko’s eyes snap to him.

“You have got to be fucking kidding me.”

[55-degrees-fahrenheit]

based on this post

karate joe: i lobe joe❤️ hi kasper again //flashback to karate kurt hair vegetables: honestly the music goes so hard but THEY STARE AT YOU sarge: wait isn't he a furry- squadmates: petar!!! air batter: air batter my beloved. why does his rabbit costume look like that. space umpire: he's so happy!!! the clappy trio: FUCK YOU /their prequel reminds me of disco. hi jimmy t why are you there-

sneaky spirits: mischievous spirits… up to no good… the wandering samurai: really funny that this guy didn't have an actual name until fever (samurai steve) yokai: also up to no good rats: wait since when did the rat and rat wife have kids. ms. whiskers: silly cat :) sick beats doctor/dr. cutlery: i like his endless game. some real sick beats viruses: are they the monsters from mahou tsukai or is this just a dream yellow organism: little guy <- well its an organism //silly the donpans: poly- yagura-chan: so apparently her name can translate to watchtower. and she's on a tower. laugh now

mahou tsukai: yippee! yay! yahoo! ojou-chan: flower <3 monster (wizards waltz): what's the deal dude. stop eating the plants and magically disappearing. penguins (showtime): speedy gonzales (tengoku fan translation) monkey (showtime): the first monkey……… rabbit: must have springs in its feet. how else can you just hop that far off of the moon. tram and poline/pauline: furries (you will see this again) space gramps: he seems kinda chill as a grandpa space dancers: their game seems so positive… too bad in the try again screen they get sucked into a black hole💔

q maou: since when was he a demon……. contestant: contestant my beloved….. i headcanon he has performance anxiety play-yan: bro why do all of the space-related games feel so relaxing. i hate his game mini chounin: i'm kind of curious. how many of them are there akai mono (red things): why do people want these things. fuck your sequel </3 RAPMEN: gay gay homosexual gay

urakata aki to ki: idk why but i feel bad for them. did you know hopping road has a sequel slightly better than polyrhythm 2 spheroids (bouncy road): the what ninja and the lord: why do they have so much lore…… toss boys: the tossers ever <3 yuka (tap trial girl): YUKA!!!!! i love both of her games tap trial my beloved giraffe: scary! tanaka: i am normal i am normal i am normal- kanojo: beloved…….. waru mono: no mercy. (can get some fast parts of ninja reincarnate) soshi: he's so cool……

cosmic girl: idk. i like the hat cosmic dancers: i like to imagine that they have SO MUCH beef with the space dancers for absolutely no reason. rap women: gay gay homosexual gay Part 2 man-k: hey do you get the joke. man-k = monkey booing sfx biribiriuo (night walk 2): hey maybe STOP PRESUMABLY KILLING PLAY-YAN usamimi maki sensei: yeah she's definitely cosmic girl. space rabbits: when i saw these guys in tengoku i screamed "HOLY SHIT WARIOWARE"

buta-san: silly pigs :) barista: i like how until like ds/fever it's revealed that he's a dog. i mean you don't see him in the cafe (tengoku) but in live result screens he's like. there people at the café: yippee!!! yay!!! yahoo neko machine: when i was like really young i really liked cats. so to see neko machine was a pleasant surprise! horse machine: idk. honse. i like the rhythm toy love-san: "aand LOVE WINS!!!" people cheering sfx mr. upbeat: why is he forced to step over a metronome. what did he do mannequin: i'm ok with his minigame. can get boring a little quickly anata: "go girl give us everything" SO TRUE❤️ remember when i said i was normal. i am not normal about her. anata my beloved……. drum girls: i like the bg. also hi yagura-chan samurai drummer/drum samurai: why do your drum lessons have to be so hard (context: i never finished them) also hi tsunku drum samurai's band: no way!! tsunku has a band <- doesn't know that tsunku was in a band oba-chan: i imagine her to be like one of those really sweet old ladies owner: owner my behated </3 producer: uhh. i like his design (flashback to twink pride flag)

alright that's all of them. i'm surprised you had the time to read this.

[beevean]

逆転裁判　逆転のトノサマン Part 3 (開廷 1)

I have no idea how Oldbag became so popular in Japan. At least she was localized in an interesting way for me to talk about.

This part goes from the beginning of the trial to the first break. Here’s where to read the whole playthrough from the beginning.

DL-6 whomst? No, this is Edgeworth’s worst nightmare...

The Judge calls the Samurai Spear allegedly used to kill Jack Hammer “dangerous” (物騒) rather than “medieval”. Points to the English localization.

“Just call me ‘grandma’”: “grandma” seems to be a literal translation of “oba-chan”, which is what literally everyone calls Oldbag, even herself (in fact, it’s pretty much her personal pronoun). It turns from some sort of running gag related to her name to something... a little creepier than it already is...

(also: “oba-chan” is a real affectionate way to refer to older ladies, but it’s translatable as “auntie”. “Obaa-chan”, with the long A, means “grannie”. But to be fair, Maya keeps calling Phoenix “Naruhodo-kun” instead of Naruhodou, and yes the long vowel matters, so maybe I shouldn’t care so much either)

(her name is Kaoru Ooba, by the way, hence why everyone calls her “Oba-chan”. Probably meant to sound both affectionate and derogatory, while in English “Oldbag” is just derogatory, and it’s why people also call her “security lady”)

(in that same scene Edgeworth resorts to beg with “頼むから”, which roughly means “for heaven’s sake” and I love it)

“She sure is one hell of an Oldbag” was a funnier “The power of the Oba-chan is incredible” (「”オバチャンパワー”おそるべし！」). Maybe because it reminds me of the Obatarian substory in Yakuza 0 :P

Oldbag refers to Hammer and Powers in different ways. Powers is simply  “荷星��� (Niboshi), while Hammer is “イブクロちゃん” (Ibukuro-chan). Not only she adds the -chan to Hammer’s surname, but it’s spelled in katakana rather than kanji, really emphasizing the different tones she pronounces the two names with. Sometimes she even says “荷星のヤツ” (”Niboshi no yatsu”, “that guy Powers”). In English this was conveyed by Oldbag always saying “poor Hammer”.

If Phoenix presses Oldbag on her “I was at the main gate from then until 5:00!” and implies she can’t do her job well because she eats sweets (and, fun fact, Phoenix mentions yokan again which was translated into donuts), she takes offense and says “おととい来やがれ” (lit. "Come again the day before yesterday!”, likely means in this case “Don’t you dare ever again!”). Maya reflects on the phrase and realizes there’s a contraddiction, probably because it’s a rare expression. In English it was extremely simplified to Oldbag accidentally saying “snipperwhapper”. (yes this is the sort of thing I spend 10 minutes researching on...)

When Oldbag tells how Powers sprained his ankle, she doesn’t say that she kissed where it hurt. She says that she spat on it. I’ll just leave it here.

“Oba-chan’s trademarks are misunderstandings and wrong beliefs” became “Old windbags have a way of skipping over important details, after all", which feels a little meaner due to the translator thinking Phoenix was referring to all old ladies and not this particular one, plus the inherently more derogatory nickname.

(This is not related to translation, but apparently at one point Maya can say “Old windbag sure has balls!" and excuse me?????)

Oldbag calls Edgeworth “Micchan”. I’ll leave to you if it’s cuter than Edgey-boy :P

She also says that he’s a “charmless kid” when he wouldn’t come to her rescue. Ngl I much prefer Oba-chan’s childish way of insulting people over Oldbag’s stereotypical “whippersnapper”.

[britishassistant]

But I Like One Piece (16)

Surprisingly, Lee wraps his head around the idea of reincarnation from another world the easiest.

“It’s like when children at the Orphanage are adopted.” He explains blithely. “The parents who take them away give them new names, so you can’t ask to visit or see how Shinpachi is doing anymore, but the person who was known as Shinpachi still exists. He just has a new life with a new name somewhere far away.”

There’s a moment of contemplative and slightly horrified silence.

“Huh.” She says. “I-I guess it is kinda like that. I am Mayu, I just...remember being someone else before that. Somewhere very, very different.”

“Mayu—” Her mother pinches the bridge of her nose. “How-how do you know that this—this other world even exists?”

Well, she’d known they’d need proof to believe her, one way or another. Hopefully this will be complex enough that it should suffice.

She takes a deep breath.

«It’s the eye of the tiger, it’s the will of the fight, risin’ up to the challenge of our rival. And the last known survivor stalks his prey in the night, and he’s watching us all with the eeeeeyyyyyyeee—of the tiger.»

Naruto grins. “Hey, it’s the singy thing!”

Lee gives a little round of applause. “You have a very nice voice, Mayu-chan!”

She tries not to blush and fails miserably.

Gai-sensei nods. “A most youthful tune, Mayu-chan. But do the sounds have any meaning?”

“Wait just a moment.”

All eyes turn to her father, whose head is hanging down, hair bracketing his eyes.

“Those sounds...aren’t they...”

She feels a drop of sweat slide down the back of her neck. Otou-san is the second son of a samurai clan after all; it’s no surprise that he can recognize a foreign language just by hear—

“They’re the noises you used to make when you were a little baby!!” Her father yells, pointing a dramatic finger at her.

“NO!!” She yells back, cheeks aflame. “Well, actually, yes, they kinda were, but they weren’t just baby noises!!”

Okaa-san gasps, pressing a hand to her cheek. “Dear, I can’t believe I couldn’t remember! You were so sweet, Mayu-chan, always going ‘aa dun uda’sta oo’.”

“That’s because I was trying to say «I don’t understand you»!” She groans, covering her eyes. “I didn’t understand this language back then! I just wanted to know what was going on!”

“Hey, hey, Mayu’s Tou-san,” Naruto says, eyes sparkling with mischief. “What was Mayu’s first word?”

Her father exhales and strokes his chin while looking off into the distance with a nostalgic twinkle in his eye. “Well, let’s see. She would’ve been about twenty months old or so—”

“IS NOW REALLY THE TIME FOR THIS STORY?!” She cuts in desperately. “I’m trying to prove the existence of another world by showing that I know a language that no one in this world has ever heard of and is far too insane for anyone with a brain to have made up!”

“Insane?” Says Lee, tilting his head in confusion.

“English is the pirate of languages.” She mutters darkly. “It goes around and beats up other languages and steals their words.”

“Is there anything about your past life that’s not related to pirates?!” Okaa-san asks, exasperation evident in her tone.

“I like pirates.” She says, hurt.

Her mother shoots her an unamused look. “Ketsugi Mayu...”

She holds up her hands in surrender. “Pirates were kinda mythical in my past life by the time I was alive. There were historical ones, but people romanticized them a lot. Like ninja.”

“What?! How dare they, that’s really rude, believe it!” Naruto fumes, crossing his arms. “...Kaa-san, what’s rom-an-ti-sized mean anyway?”

“It means they make up stories about them to make them seem...nicer.” Okaa-san explains. “Usually by pretending they aren’t as violent as they really are.”

“Oh.” Naruto thinks about this. “That’s dumb. Ninja are already cool, they don’t need to be nice.”

“Pirates are cooler.” She says.

“They are not—”

“Don’t start.” Her mother says in her scary week-long-ban-from-cooking voice.

“Yes Okaa-san.” They chorus.

“But wait.” Lee’s now frowning. “If the only ninja are historical, then how did countries in your past life defend themselves?”

“With armies of soldiers. Normal ones.” She replies. “ Though those might be replaced by flying robot drones by now. There used to be ninja in Japan—may still be even if only in name—but there wasn’t anything like chakra in my past life, so we developed technologically to fight each other instead. Now the world’s kinda in a stalemate peace because we’ve developed so far that the planet will become unable to support human life if we ever go all out.”

Lee stares at her, then drops his head, fists trembling in his lap.

Gai-sensei presses a hand to his shoulder. “Lee.”

She grows alarmed as tears begin to drip off of her friend’s face. Oh shit, she hadn’t meant to insult his dream. “Hey, Lee—”

“Mayu-chan.” His voice is surprisingly steady. “Did you mean everything you said? You aren’t making anything up?”

She hesitates but shakes her head, mouth twisting in consternation. “Yes. I did mean it. Lee, I’m sorry—”

Suddenly his arms shoot up in the air, fists still clenched. When he raises his head, his tears are sliding around a wide and dazzling grin.

“There’s a world of ninja without chakra.” He whispers, tone awed. “They don’t need chakra to become strong. To become ninja.”

Gai-sensei beams back and ruffles Lee’s hair into a haystack. “Of course! A youthful spirit and the willingness to work hard are what truly make a ninja!”

“And our Lee has that in spades.” Okaa-san says fondly, smoothing some of the now-haystack back into place. “You’ll be a fine ninja, I’m sure of it.”

Lee sniffs noisily. “Gai-sensei, Chie-oba-san...!”

“Yeah!” Naruto throws his arm over Lee’s shoulders. “An’ then you an’ me an’ Mayu-chan are gonna be on a kickass ninja team together, believe it!”

“I’m gonna be a pirate.” She interjects staunchly.

Naruto pouts at her for a moment, before he brightens again. “Fine then! Sakura-chan can be our third teammate, and Mayu’ll be the pirate mascot!”

“Sakura-chan?” Lee cries eagerly.

“Pirate mascot?!” She echoes indignantly.

Naruto sticks his tongue out at her triumphantly while her father and Gai-sensei turn away to muffle what sounds suspiciously like laughter.

She folds her arms and scowls at the stair in front of her while her mother pats her head consolingly.

Otou-san manages to get his chuckles under control enough to place a hand upon her and Lee’s shoulders. “We’ll always be very proud of you all, whether you’re a pirate mascot—” He fails to hide his snickering under her disapproving gaze, “—or a ninja. We just want you to be happy.”

“Jirou-oji-san!” Lee sniffs, eyes refilling with tears.

It takes another five minutes to get Lee and Gai-sensei to stop crying and hugging everyone in reach.

This is only exacerbated by the fact that her parents lose all rational sense and begin blushing and stuttering helplessly when they’re caught in Gai-sensei’s embrace.

Once everyone’s calmed down a bit, Naruto turns to her again. “So if this world was a story in your past life, does that mean you know the future, or any super cool jutsus?”

“No.” She says. “Because I never read that comic. I only ever read One Piece and argued with idiots who tried to say that that comic was better, which it obviously wasn’t.”

Her mother rolls her eyes at her as she lies, “I don’t even remember what that series was called, or any of the characters from it.”

Naruto narrows his eyes at her. “Then how’d you know you were here?” He fires back.

She stares at him as placidly as possible. He’s her best friend in this world—practically her brother in all but name. Lee is too, and Gai-sensei may as well be a third parent by this point.

She’s afraid of dying again, but she thinks that if it were for this family right here, her family, she’d face it with the kind of smile that only a D could muster.

She refuses to sentence Naruto to a miserable life of second-guessing and unearned guilt over things that he couldn’t possibly control.

Not this time.

Usopp, Nami and Robin give her the conviction to make this lie believable.

“The Hokage Monument.” She tells them smoothly. “It was in the background of almost every panel that idiots who liked the comic would try to show me. I didn’t remember where I recognized it from until I was about four years old though.”

Naruto doesn’t quite look convinced at first, but his expression becomes more accepting as he mulls it over.

Lee, bless him, just nods along trustingly.

Okaa-san tilts her head and stares at her with unnerving scrutiny.

Otou-san touches her mother’s arm, an eyebrow raised in concern, only for his wife to shake her head almost absent-mindedly.

Gai-sensei’s nose twitches.

She holds her breath.

His face breaks out into his usual beam. “I see! So the Will of Fire blazes strongly even in other worlds!”

She exhales, sending a mental thank you to the Rational Trio. “Yes. Any other questions?”

“Did you have a family in your past life?” Lee asks.

She flinches.

“Ah.” Lee’s smile is sad and understanding. “It’s okay if you didn’t—”

“I know it is.” She cuts in, grin feeling stilted. “It’s just—they weren’t anything to special. My Dad was a businessman and pretty strict. My Mum was a housewife and very spiritual. Kinda boring overall.”

Lee nods again, though he looks a little confused.

Okaa-san and Otou-san look...hurt.

She wants to hug them, but there’s a little part of her that whispers that doing so would be a betrayal. She forces herself to turn to a nicer topic.

“I did have a little brother, Harp.” She smiles to herself. “He’s a good kid, you guys would’ve loved him. He’s wizard at doing presentations and performances and things like that, really makes it easy to understand and believe what he’s saying, you know? He’s gonna be a famous actor when he grows up, or a politician, some really great speaker once—”

She freezes. “Shit.”

“Language!” Okaa-san says, but she barely hears her, knuckles white as her nails dig into her knees.

“I didn’t make a will.” She rasps. “I never made—and now they’ll get it all. They’ll take everything, and he’ll still be trapped.”

“Who will take everything?” Otou-san says, steely-eyed and serious. “Mayu, was someone you were related to threatening your family?”

She shakes her head. “Not—not threatening, exactly. S’just.” She makes an abortive movement with her hands. “Living with Mum and Dad was...not good. For me or Harp. They never got on with each other, and both of them were disappointed in us in their own way—anyway.”

“No, why were they disappointed?” Okaa-san says, eyes blazing. “I want to know what they thought was wrong with my little girl.”

“Okaa-san—” She tries to say, flattery and embarrassment warring inside her.

“Nothing’s wrong with Mayu-chan!” Lee interrupts, little chest puffed out. “She’s fine the way she is!”

“Lee—”

“Except that she does curry too spicy.” Naruto cuts in. “And argues with the Academy teachers a lot. But that’s not disappointing, believe it!”

She’s torn between the overwhelming desire to kick him in the shins and give him a great big hug.

Gai-sensei gives what, for him, counts as a discrete cough. “While I’m sure we can agree that Mayu-chan is one of the farthest things from disappointing there is, I believe you were in the process of explaining your dilemma?”

“Right.” She tries to will her cheeks to stop burning.

“Well, I had some money saved up so I could try to get Harp out—hire a good lawyer and see if, while Mum and Dad’s divorce was finalized, I could win custody so he’d get to live with me.”

“What’s divorce?” Lee asks.

“It’s when two people who are married decide they don’t want to be married anymore.” She explains. “So they go to a court of law to make it so they officially aren’t, and each person gets part of what they both owned.”

Naruto gasps, like the idea is somehow shocking to him. To be fair to him, the adults look equally scandalized, so she guesses that’s not exactly a common practice here. “You can do that?! But why? I thought married people were supposed to love each other forever.”

“Usually they do.” She says wearily. “But sometimes people fall out of love, or one person is hurt by the other, or both misunderstand the person they got married to. Dad thought a woman like my Mum would be very business-focused like he wanted. Mum thought a man like my Dad would be very spiritually enlightened like she wanted.”

Naruto looks confused but considering, so she moves on.

“Anyway, I had a lot of money saved up, but because I died without leaving anything that said how I wanted it to be used, Mum and Dad will take all of it, or at least argue over who should get the most of it in the divorce.” She clenches her fists. “And Harp’ll never see a penny.”

“Mayu-chan.” Naruto’s voice wavers slightly. “Did you not love your parents?”

For an awful moment, she’s struck by the paralyzing urge to say “No”.

Then the horror and guilt settle in her gut again like undercooked food and make her feel like she’s going to choke on bile.

“Wh—of course I loved them!” She sputters indignantly. “They were my Mum and Dad. You’ve got to love your Mum and Dad.”

“It’s okay if you didn’t!” Naruto holds up his hands placatingly. “They just don’t sound very nice! You said that they said you were a disappointment! And you didn’t want your little brother to be with them!”

He and Lee are staring at her wide-eyed, as if waiting for her to snap at them again. The same way Naruto and Kiba look around Sakura these days.

She takes a deep breath and tries to make her voice softer, gentler. “I’m sorry for yelling. It’s just, sometimes, you can love someone and know when they’re not very good at something, or in a position that they and other people aren’t happy they’re in. I did love my Mum and Dad, but they are the last people in that world I’d trust with a kid. It wasn’t their fault, but I thought if I could get Harp out, let him grow up happy—”

She shakes her head, worrying the scar on her lower lip.

She’d promised him she’d get him out.

She’d promised.

“How old were you?” Her father asks, voice low. “When...?”

She can’t bring herself to look at him, but he sounds weary down to his very bones.

“I was twenty years old.” She says to the stair in front of her.

“Is that.” Her mother hesitates for a moment. “Is that an old age to die at? Among the people of that world.”

She makes a face. “Nah. I’d been an adult for two years in the eyes of the law, but most people in my past life could expect to live until their lates eighties or nineties before dying of natural causes.”

She hears Gai-sensei whisper “late eighties or nineties” to himself in a tone filled with something like wonder.

It’s that wonder which spurs her to look up and say, “In fact, if you manage to live to your hundredth birthday, the Queen sends you a card wishing you a happy birthday and congratulating you. I had a friend whose great grandma got one.”

Only Gai-sensei looks as amazed by this information as she’d hoped they’d all be. Lee’s trying to muster up the same enthusiasm as their teacher, but he can’t quite. Naruto looks more confused than anything.

Otou-san and Okaa-san are just staring at her like they don’t recognize her.

It hurts too much to hold their gaze.

“How’d you die?” Naruto asks. “Were you fighting a bad guy?”

She rubs the back of her neck. “Not really. A man broke into the flat. I grabbed a knife. He freaked out and his gun went off. He said it was an accident.”

She hisses the last word with all the venom it deserves.

She doesn’t understand anymore why the One Piece anime tried to censor Belle-mere’s death by changing it from a headshot to a bullet to the chest.

A headshot is quick and painless, at least.

She’s so caught up in her own memories that she doesn’t hear her father’s question. “Pardon?”

“What was your name?” Otou-san’s voice is soft and understanding, even though his eyes are pitying.

“...The girl who died was called Tamara Kaur. Her friends called her Tammy or Tim-Tam for short.” She says, a mournful grin on her face. “My name is Ketsugi Mayu. I’ll be in your care, if you’ll have me.”

The quiet that follows this statement, half joke and half plea, is enough to make whatever hopes she was still desperately clinging to crumble like a sandcastle in the face of the tide.

There aren’t many more questions after that.

Aside from the pointed conversation that began with “so if the person Naruto mentioned really was a comic character, then who was the home invader?” and ended with her exasperated mother asking “What do you mean, you ‘accidentally created divinity’?”

She winces. “Kinda that? I just, I was praying to them for normal stuff, and then that day I prayed for help with cutting the lamb and ended up with an entire meal I didn’t remember cooking.”

Okaa-san stares at her for a long moment before burying her head in her hands. She makes a noise Mayu thinks might be a sob.

Otou-san pats her back awkwardly and shoots her what she thinks is meant to be a reassuring smile. “Your Kaa-san’s fine. She just...needs a moment.”

“So it was Sanji?” Naruto whispers to her.

She nods rapidly.

Naruto’s face splits into a grin so wide his eyes almost close. “Awesome.”

“I know.” She whispers back, hardly able to keep from smiling herself.

Okaa-san sends her to turn off all the taps and hang her clothes back up upstairs.

She supposes she has wasted enough water for one day.

She blinks in the mid-afternoon sun when she opens the door to her bedroom, ignoring the masks that are all but pressed against the shut window more out of habit at this point.

She feels too drained to even feel alarmed by their proximity to her home. Talking about her Mum and Dad always did that to her, even when she was in the same world as them.

A phantom hunger pang pierces her stomach.

She shudders at the memory. Oh Luffy, she hopes Harp got out quickly, that he didn’t have to grow up on meals that were either pigswill or denied to him entirely.

He’d be...what, eighteen, nineteen by now?

Reading about Sanji and the adventures of the Straw Hats used to help her get through those punishments.

She sends a prayer to them now that Harp didn’t have to learn how to do that himself.

Otou-san, Okaa-san, and Gai-sensei are discussing something in low, serious voices when she comes back downstairs.

They quiet down for a bit when she steps between Lee and Naruto to get to the kitchen.

When she returns to the hallway, Gai-sensei pats her shoulder with a little too much force, shooting her a megawatt beam and a thumbs up.

“Do not worry, Jirou-san, Chie-san! I am certain that there will be no cause for concern for yourselves or Mayu-chan!”

Otou-san heaves a sigh. “We have every faith in you. It’s just—”

Okaa-san lays a hand on Gai-sensei’s arm. “Please, Gai.”

He solemnly takes her hand in one of his own, reaching out to grab her father’s arm with the other. “Everything will be as it always is. I swear it to you.”

The adults’ eyes seem to glisten as they stare at each other.

She glances at Naruto and Lee, eyebrow raised.

Naruto gives a quizzical shrug. Lee’s almost vibrating as he stares at their parents, eyes wide.

She hates to break up the moment, but there’s an elephant in the room that needs addressing.

She coughs a little. “Um, Okaa-sama, Otou-sama?”

Her parents look over at her, shoulders stiffening.

She worries the scar on her lower lip. “I, ah, just wanted to say, that if you need some time to-to process what I’ve told you, and you don’t want me a-around for it, I can get out of the house, go somewhere else for as long as you need me to—”

Otou-san and Okaa-san stare at her, expressions of pure horror on their faces.

Shit, has she really overstepped by that much? “O-or if you don’t want me to come back, I could always try to find o-other living arrangements for myself—”

“YOU FOOL!”

The slap to the back of her head isn’t nearly as painful as most of the blows she’s weathered during training, but the sheer surprise of the attack has her clutching it and looking up in bewilderment.

Gai-sensei looks madder than she’s ever seen him.

“...Or I could leave the village entirely?” She meekly suggests, unsure of what to say to appease her teacher’s anger.

“And when did anyone ever say they wanted you to leave?!” Gai-sensei booms.

What?

She blinks in confusion. “But I’m not who you thought I was, I have—”

“Are you Ketsugi Mayu?” Her mother asks, voice drier than an over-baked cake.

“Yes—”

“And do you enjoying cooking and feeding people?” Okaa-san walks towards her and leans down.

“Well, yes, but—”

“And you have an obsession with pirates that leads you to act without thinking a lot?” Her mother reaches out and grabs her cheeks.

“It’s not an obsession—” She feebly tries to argue through pursed lips.

“Then you are my daughter.” Okaa-san says. “And you are going to stay right here where I can see you, and we are going to lay down some ground rules about contacting strange deities, do you hear me young lady?!”

She’s so alarmed by the sight of angry tears gathering in her mother’s eyes that she just nods her head as best as she can in this grip.

Okaa-san lets out a little sob and then she’s being enveloped in a crushing hug by both of her parents.

Otou-san murmurs, “Our family stays together, damn what anyone may think. Even if we have enemies on all sides, the Ketsugi clan will weather any blows. Didn’t we already tell you that?”

Then she feels Lee and Naruto’s little arms squeezing her from behind, and the gentle weight that means Gai-sensei has joined the hug too.

“Please don’t go Mayu.” Naruto says, sounding small and scared. “Please.”

She can’t help it when she starts bawling like a little kid again.

[mc-yuki-chan]

Yuki’s backstory!

They were an odd kid, truthfully. They liked to watch the flowers, look at the sky, look at how the bugs moved, and read. They never particularly cared for making friends with kids their age, it never seemed to pop up in their mind. Until they met Natsuo; a young boy who was charming and sweet and didn’t mind their quiet observations of the world. The two bonded quickly and almost immediately became inseparable. They grew up together; were in all the same clubs, shared most of their classes. They were like two peas in a pod, and Yuki never wanted to be anywhere else. Nastuo was charming, charismatic, funny, and outgoing; all the things Yuki was not. Natsuo made friends quickly, whereas Yuki was shy and withdrawn within themselves. Yuki really looked up to him. 

Yuki grew up in a once loving family! 

Their father was an only child, whereas their mother had a sister- one she never really talked about as Yuki was growing up. (They didn’t know they had an aunt until she reached out to them when they were in their final year of school) 

They grew up relatively lonely as an only child, only really feeling connected to their parents when they would make food together and purposefully making too much so they have to go and share it with the neighbors. Those are the really good memories that Yuki cherishes. 

Another large hurdle in Yuki’s life was their feelings for Natsuo. They had fallen deeply in love with their childhood friend, and couldn’t imagine their life apart. 

During this time they were dealing with three large issues; their parents growing disdain for each other, severe bullying, and their identity. While their parents were silently angry at each other all the time, and the tension in the home was so thick you could barely breathe. All throughout highschool, they were being intensely bullied, for reasons beyond their understanding. People would prank them, tease them, mock them, and even went as far as to try and push them out a window. Their uniforms got stolen, they got paint poured on them, and letters of grusome and horrible things always ended up in their locker. Hajoon Lee, Natsuo and Yuki's mutual friend, was the only one who stood up for them, defended them, and told people to leave them alone.

They also struggled with who they were. They didn’t feel as though male really fit them, nor did they feel that female really fit them. Neither of those identities really felt like.... them. It was like they were trying to force themselves into a neat little box that they couldn’t even see. It was weird, and felt wrong, and they couldn’t even begin to explain why. They struggled for years with trying to figure out exactly what they felt, and how they felt about it, and it took many deep dives into the gender and sexuality studies online for them to really come to the conclusion.They were nonbinary, feeling the most comfortable with They/Them pronouns, and enjoyed both masculine and feminine things but were neither of them at the same time. It was freeing, it was comforting. They felt seen. Their parents still argued in the background when they thought their child couldn’t hear. 

Then Natsuo developed a crush, and things seemed to change. Natsuo had less time for Yuki; they hung out less, Natsuo didn’t talk to them as much, and Natsuo didn’t explain why. They just... drifted apart. So, Yuki took it upon themselves to try and fix things- by being honest. They weren’t sure if this was going to fix the growing distance between them, but... 

Life always has it’s ups and downs. That’s how we know we’re alive. 

Yuki chose to confess in one of the most romantic ways they could think of; at the Wishing Star Festival. Natsuo and Yuki went every year together. Yuki had gotten a piece of paper and wrote their wish on it, and waited patiently for Natsuo to show up. He was two hours late. Yuki didn’t mind; he was probably busy at home! They knew that his mom sometimes liked to fuss. They walked around, and Natsuo didn’t grab a piece of paper to write his wish down. Yuki thought it was odd, but didn’t comment on it. No, they were too nervous to really make good small talk. It was clear something was on Yuki’s mind, but it seemed like Natsuo didn’t notice. Yuki didn’t notice that either. Yuki didn’t notice a lot of things that night. They found a secluded spot, Yuki tied their wish to the tree, and silently made their wish. Yuki paused a bit, and let the silence hang in the air, and swallowed down the butterflies in their throat. 

“I’ll tell you my wish, if you want. It’s really simple.” 

Natsuo laughed, it seemed a little awkward- like he had been zoning out and only just then realized he was out in public with someone. 

“Wouldn’t that defeat the whole purpose of making a wish?” 

“Hehe, yes, but I think I want to share it with you anyways.” 

Natsuo only huffed another laugh and shrugged. 

“Okay, what’s your wish?” 

Yuki smiled, and quietly confessed. “My wish was that we would be together forever, because I love you.” 

As you can probably assume, this did not end well.  

Natsuo quickly back peddled and quickly grew more and more uncomfortable- saying he wasn’t gay, he didn’t like Yuki that way, that it was weird for two men to like each other. This hurt Yuki, who then explained that they are nonbinary, and tried to explain what it meant and what that meant for them. Natsuo became angry, and started shouting- claiming Yuki was making all of this up so that they could get the girl he was crushing on. Yuki didn’t understand- they had met that girl once or twice, at max, why would they have feelings for her? Natsuo confessed he was late because he had been on a date with the girl, and she had been into him, but said that she didn’t like the way Yuki looked at him. And now he understood why, he had said, before ripping Yuki’s wish off the tree. Natsuo began screaming obscene and cruel things, things that deeply hurt Yuki to this day.

Yuki had gone home crying that night, and poured their heart out to their parents; the crush, their gender, the fight, everything. Their parents... took it better, but not well enough. They tried to console them by saying that it was a phase, and that once they found a nice girl and got married that they wouldn’t be “So obsessed with becoming a girl”. 

Yuki’s life shifted over night. 

Their parents began fighting more intensely, arguing about which one of them fucked up their kid more, who’s fault it was that they were like this, why they were so weird. 

At school, no one talked to them. People had been around them because they themself was always with Natsuo, but since the fight Natsuo hasn’t said a single word to them. The girl he had a crush on was now clearly dating him, if the shy looks and blushes were anything to go by. This shattered Yuki’s heart every time it happened. With the distance from their friends, the bullying continued to steadily get worse.

The only saving grace came in the form of their aunt, Ayane, who had moved to Korea to escape her homophobic family. She was a proud lesbian, and wasn’t afraid to be who she was- she was bold, and strong, and she had reached out to Yuki to try and rekindle a relationship between the two; she had always been incredibly hurt that she was never there to watch Yuki grow up. They began talking, and venting out all their feelings, and their aunt eagerly suggested they move in with her in Korea. They realized that this may be the best shot at life they could get. 

The final time that Yuki and Natsuo spoke was on graduation day, before they went home to pack their bags to move to Korea. It was awkward, and uncomfortable, but Natsuo said that he wishes them the best of luck in their life (still ignoring the use of their real pronouns) it was stiff, awkward, and he clearly looked like he didn't want to be there.  Yuki swallowed thickly and stiffly and formally thanked him, and didn’t begin to cry until they were already in their room.  

Maybe that’s why they downloaded a mysterious messaging app..? 

They moved to Korea a few years after their final year of school, and moved in with Ayane. It was really all good from there. 

There they met Oba-chan (Her name is Hinata, but she insisted that Yuki called her grandmother), and began working at her flower shop. Hinata quickly took them in, accepting them and their identity as if it wasn’t unusual or strange in the slightest; a sharp and drastic change to their previous life in Japan. It was so... good. They felt so safe here, it was great. They worked hard, learned quickly, and faster than anyone anticipated they rose to a high position in the shop- assisting Hinata with financial business and helping renovate the business into what it is today- the most popular stop for home grown flowers in Seoul. 

Eventually, Hinata grew too old to feel fit enough to run the store, so she left it to Yuki, who had shown incredible dedication and attention to detail, and they have been running it ever since. Shortly after getting ownership of the business, they were able to afford their own apartment and have been living on their own for a few months now. They regularly have family dinners at Hinata’s house with her friends and Ayane’s girlfriend and they cook massive meals that they can share with family and neighbors alike. 

With all these good things happening in their life, the sudden and intense loss of losing a pillar in the life was still incredibly jarring, and they still are incredibly lonely. They guarded their heart carefully after that heartbreak, they weren’t sure if they could handle that kind of rejection again- let alone any rejection while they were still so tender. It may have been almost 5 years, but it cut so deep that it still was healing. 

[sonorous-cicada]

Shisui Uchiha’s Journal #2

Journal Entry #21 June 27th 

There was this stray dog that lived near the Uchiha compound. Last year, she tore up Yui-obaa’s flower beds while chasing a rabbit. I decided to name her Chika, scattered flowers. Actually, I let Itachi name her when I took her in. He picked some lofty name, I don’t even remember what it was, but it did not fit her at all. She’s a good dog. Every time I come home from a mission she starts following me around from the gates to the Hokage tower then back to the compound. I trained her to piss on Elder Daichi’s leg whenever he walks past our engawa. I, of course, think that it’s hilarious. Itachi didn’t think so. He thought it was ‘childish’. I saw him slip her a treat the next time she did it, though. 

Chika’s pregnant right now. Hana-chan thinks she got knocked up by some Inuzuka out for a joy run. Apparently the pups have more chakra than normal pups would have. Sasuke-chan keeps begging me for one of them. Unfortunately for the squirt, if they’re Inuzuka, they have to go back to their clan. I suppose if one of them doesn't have the potential to manipulate chakra, then he could have one. Sasuke would love that. He keeps talking about it like he already has a pup. It's adorable, really. You know who also loves dogs? Itachi. He loves all animals, really. Anything. Crows, cats, dogs, weasels. Ha. I kid on that last part, of course.

We had a mission a few months ago where the enemy’s jutsu started to destroy the forest. Anyway, we were running through the tree branches, just trying to get the hell out of there when we see this bird nest with baby birds just sitting there with the mama bird. And Itachi being Itachi could not just leave well enough alone, no. This guy took the entire nest, mama and all and just ran for it. It was sweet, in a way. He's always doing stuff like that. Saving baby birds, kittens, puppies. He's actually the one that discovered my dog.

She was just a mangy thing when we found her. Hana-chan gave us a cream for the mange and agreed to dogsit when I was on missions. She's come a long way, but she's a good girl and so worth it. I'm actually sitting in a tree branch right now. We're waiting for some sort of patrol that intel said would head up this way. I picked her up this ridiculous bow in Tea Country. It's pink. I might even ask Mikoto-oba to sew some sequins on it for extra pizazz. Girls like that kind of stuff and she's worth it.

Itachi would think I'm being ridiculous, spending so much time on this dog. But she's a good girl. She really is. My father never allowed us to have a pet. He thought they were too dirty. Sometimes I wish that I could just move away with Itachi somewhere secluded and silent. I imagine us living unremarkable lives with no last name. Away from all of this drama. In my fantasy, though, it's just us.

I would love to own a pet store or even a feed store. I think in another life Itachi would have loved to be a chef or a scholar. Can you imagine that? Everyday I would lock up the shop and come home to him hovering over his books. The smell of paper and ink in the air. He might look a little frustrated at being unable to piece together some ancient manuscript. Maybe I'd buy dango on the way home. Nah, that'd actually be a bad idea. He would never risk getting the historic papers and parchments sticky. He's picky like that. He might come visit me in the shop after doing his research for the day. Maybe we could stock dog bones together or hell, I don't know, dragon feed or something.

Do they make dragon feed? I've seen a lot of crazy things in this world, it wouldn't surprise me. Dr. Yamanaka gave me a prompt list. I was supposed to write today about "what motivated me to keep living". Apparently I'm on some sort of suicide watch list. It's somewhat insulting, really. So the answer to Dr. Psycho-bull is this: Itachi, Sasuke and my dog. They keep me going. They motivate me. I want to keep living for them. I want to watch my dog run through the training grounds and knock over a bunch of genin. I want to wake up in the mornings with Itachi. I want to rub my knuckles in Sasuke's hair just to see him turn that tomato red.

July 2nd update: She had her pups! There were four in the litter total, three boys and one girl. Two of the boys and girl were able to mold chakra. Sasuke was beside himself when he found out the fourth pup, a boy, was normal. He named him Shiro. Unimaginative, in my opinion, it is the fourth pup, after all. It made the kid happy, though. That's what matters. It made my boyfriend smile too. That was rare and worth all the gold in the world.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Itachi held back the tears in his eyes and looked towards the stars. He remembered that day. He remembered the dog giving birth. In his will, Shisui had left the dog to Hana. The man knew that Itachi never had time for a dog. As busy as Shisui was, Itachi was busier. He also didn't have any other friends who could care for a dog... Kakashi-senpai's pack lived in the summons realm and Chika could not. Sometimes when he was at his lowest, Itachi would visit Chika. He would throw the glittery pink ball and give her a new ribbon. How could he not? Shisui loved that dog, and he will always love Shisui.

Tucking the worn leather book under his mattress, he closed his eyes and fell to sleep.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

AN: If you have the thyme, help water the fandom garden and drop a line ;) Comments help the garden grow. Thank you for reading!!!! I’m gonna try and post one a day until July 15th. 

Hana refers to Hana Inuzuka, Kiba’s elder sister, the veterinarian. Shiro is Itachi and Sasuke’s pet dog in canon.

Cross posted to Ao3 and Ffn.net ;)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/24729784/chapters/59882332#workskin

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13616731/1/Shisui-Uchiha-s-Journal

[therainroguefanfiction]

⁂ How Do You Love? (Tenipuri) o4

📑 Table of Contents |◂ Previous

Author’s Note: Yes, I definitely added Uno from Nanbaka you wanna fight about it? (ง ͠° ͟ل͜ ͡°)ง

━━━━━━༻🌧️༺━━━━━━

I woke up when something smacked against my face, leaving a dull throb in my nose. My eyes peeled open and the first thing I saw was the pale skin of Kenko’s foot a mere inches from my face. I scowled, pushing myself up to yell at him, but I stopped short. Karupin was sprawled out across his face; I’m just going to assume that he’s doing us a favor and trying to smother the eighteen-year-old.

I glanced at the clock: four-thirty in the morning.

With a sigh, I pushed the covers away and crawled out of bed. School starts at eight and the train to Kanagawa is about an hour-long ride, give or take. The last thing I feel like dealing with is being rushed. Pisses me off.

I stood under the cold water of the shower, eyes closed. Did I feel nervous about today? A little, but not for the typical reasons. I’m worried about whether or not I will be able to control myself. Living in the states meant meeting a lot of people that pissed me off or that was pissed off by me, which in turn led to fights and being expelled from various schools – not to mention being arrested a time or two. Was this my last chance? I don’t know.

Above all else, I don’t wanna let my old man down any more than I already have. After everything he’s done for me, a child he had no responsibility for, I’ve done a piss poor job of repaying him. Now that I’m thinking about it, the only positive thing I’ve done since joining the Echizen family is keeping Ryoma safe and shadowing him in the states.

I sighed, leaning my forehead against the cold tile of the wall. There was no doubt in anyone’s mind that I’m a problem child. And yet… that idiot hasn’t given up on me. None of them have. I’ve got to get my shit together.

I slipped out of the shower, drying off before wrapping the towel around my body and returning to my room.

Five-twenty in the morning.

Kenko was still asleep, but Karupin was nowhere to be found. Most likely he returned to Ryoma’s room. I grabbed my bag from beside the bed and started to dig for something to wear. A thought struck me and I paused. Don’t Japanese kids wear uniforms? Had they gotten me one?

“Oi, Kenko. Wake up.”

He mumbled something about data and Aries but didn’t wake.

I scowled, looking over at my desk. I spotted the Rhino plush that dad had given me for my fifteenth birthday. With a shrug, I grabbed it and chucked it at his face. He yelped in surprise before rolling off the bed, hitting the floor face-first with a loud thump.

“Good morning.” He groaned, rubbing his nose. How I haven’t managed to break it is beyond me. Maybe it’s made of lead or something.

“Is there a uniform?”

He blinked, taking a moment to respond. “Yeah, it’s in the closet.”

I felt annoyance linger in the back of my mind as my hand hovered in front of the door. Sliding it open, I released a breath I hadn’t even realized I was holding. Two sets of the same uniform were hung side by side; navy blue slacks, white shirt, teal tie with silver stripes, and a dark green jacket.

A hand landed on my shoulder. “Did you really think we’d order you the girl’s uniform? Give your best friend and father some credit.”

I felt my lips curl up. “Thanks, Kenko. Now get the fuck out so I can get dressed.”

It only took me about five minutes to get dressed and find my way downstairs. Rinko was already in the kitchen, humming to herself as she prepared to start breakfast.

“Morning.” I greeted her, opening the fridge. I was surprised but happy to find a full row of Dr. Pepper cans.

“Good morning, dear. How’d you sleep?” She questioned with a smile.

“Fine.” I sat down at the table, sipping the soda. “Thanks for buying these.”

“I know it’s your favorite. Consider it my welcome home gift.” She began to cook. “Are you excited for your first day?”

“I don’t think anyone is ever excited for their first day of school… I’ll do my best, though.”

She hummed. “That’s all we’ve ever asked. The boy’s uniform looks cute on you, by the way.”

I scoffed, leaning back in my chair. “I don’t do cute, Rinko.”

She chuckled in response and we settled into a comfortable silence. A few minutes passed before Kenko, dressed in his own uniform, and Nanako came down the stairs, chatting happily with each other.

“Good morning, oba-chan. Lux.” She greeted with a smile. “Don’t you have to get ready for work? I can take over.”

“Thank you.” Rinko smiled at her before disappearing up the stairs.

Kenko tried to swipe my soda but I smacked his hand away, glaring at him. “I will stab you with a fucking fork.”

He pouted. “You’re so greedy.”

“No one touches my soda.”

“Mornin’.” Ryoma yawned, ruffling his messy hair as he entered the kitchen.

Nanako served us breakfast. Rinko came down and hugged each one of us, wishing us a good day before rushing out the door for work. We ate quickly before getting up to leave for the train station.

I stopped behind Ryoma, ruffling his already messy hair. “Text me if anything happens, and stay out of trouble, yeah?”

He pouted, looking away in embarrassment. “I’ll be fine, nee-chan.”

Kenko handed me my bag when I reached the door and we left the house. “Are you worried?”

“No. I’ve taught him well. He can handle himself.”

“Now that worries me.”

“And anyone he can’t handle,” I slammed my fist into the palm of my hand, cracking my knuckles, “I’ll destroy.”

He sweatdropped, patting my shoulder. “Yes, yes.”

━━━━━━༻🌧️༺━━━━━━

Kenko lead me to the front office to speak to the principle. Although he and my old man had gotten my books and schedule already, the principal wanted to speak to me directly before class started. For what, neither of us knew.

We approached the woman sitting behind the desk. The nameplate read Akemi Claire. Her hair was the color of wet sand, falling down below her shoulders, and her eyes were a mix of brown and gold. If I’m being honest, she looked like a stuck up bitch.

“Good morning, Akemi-sensei.” Kenko smiled at her in greeting.

She smiled brightly, brushing her bangs away from her eyes. “Kenko! To what do I owe this pleasure on the first day, hmm?”

“Principal Haruse wanted to see Winchester Lux before class.” He answered, motioning toward me with his hand.

Her eyes snapped to me, sparkling with mischief. “Can she speak Japanese?”

I narrowed my eyes at her. “Yes, she can.”

“One moment.” Amusement flashed through her eyes as she stood up. When she disappeared into one of the offices in the back, Kenko nudged me in the ribs with his elbow.

“Be nice.” He scolded, softly. I only scoffed in response, folding my arms over my chest. It’s not my fault she’s a bitch.

The woman returned and instructed me to enter the office she just left from. I ignored Kenko’s look as I headed for the door without a word. I didn’t bother knocking, either, and pushed it open to step inside. The back of the principle’s chair was facing me, preventing me from seeing what they looked like.

A deep voice reached my ears. “Close the door and have a seat.”

I complied, dropping the bag on the floor near my feet.

The chair turned to reveal a tall man, probably six-one or two, with long black hair tied in a long, thin braid. His eyes, a deep shade of chocolate brown, were strict yet somehow kind at the same time. He clasped his hands together on the desk. “How was your flight, Winchester-san?”

I raised a brow, resting my ankle across my knee. “Is it common in Japan for the principle of a school to ask his students how their flight was?”

“No,” He chuckled. “I’m an old friend of your father. He asked me to look after you.”

“I’m more than capable of looking after myself, thanks. Can I go now?”

“Yes, I’m well aware of how you look after yourself.”

My body automatically tensed up and my eyes narrowed at him. Of course I wanted to snap at him – what the hell does he know about me? But I held my tongue. Not only is he the fucking principle of the school, but he’s also a friend of my old man.

“Your school record is easily accessed by school officials.” He continued, watching me closely. I expected to see pity or disgust lingering within his eyes – both of which I had learned to pick up on almost instantly after having received them both so many times growing up, but his eyes didn’t display either of those. There was something else, something I couldn’t place. “I will be honest with you, Winchester-san. When a school official looks at your record, they are most likely to think of you as a loose cannon. You’re a risk, a liability that they are not willing to take on.”

I was silent for a moment before a question entered my mind. It came out before I could stop it. “Is that why the old man didn’t send me to Seishun?”

“Due to Nanjirou’s connections, the school would have accepted you.” He closed his eyes, leaning back in his chair and crossing his legs. “However, in the words of your father; ‘I don’t feel like she’ll have a fair shot there’.”

“But I will here?” I scoffed, sliding down in the chair.

“Yes, you will.” He smiled at me. This time I recognized the emotion floating in his eyes – it was the exact same look that dad had when he first adopted me. Kindness. “I’m the only one that knows of your record and I will keep it that way. The rest is up to you. You must learn to control your temper, Winchester-san.”

My eyes shifted to the side. Like I don’t already know that, but it’s not as simple as saying that I’m not gonna get pissed anymore. I’ve been trying to control it since I was a fucking kid.

He smiled softly. “I believe in you, Winchester-san.” The warning bell rang and he reached into his desk, pulling out a pad and a pen. “Class is about to start. I’ll write you a note so you don’t get into trouble on your first day. Akemi-sensei will show you to your class.”

I grabbed the note and my bag before heading to the door. Before I could grab the handle, he called my name. I stopped but didn’t turn.

“If you run into any problems, feel free to come and see me.”

I left the room with a scowl on my face, not knowing how I feel about this whole situation. Claire was waiting for me, and she escorted me to class 3-B without a word being exchanged. When we arrived, she patted my shoulder and wished me good luck before disappearing.

Scowl still in place, I slid the door open and stepped inside. The teacher stopped speaking and the entire class turned to stare at me, making my eye twitch. I hate unwanted attention, damn it. My eyes scanned the class and locked with Kenko’s violet ones. He sent me an encouraging smile, nodding his head.

“May I help you?” The teacher asked, kindly. His hair was cotton candy pink, pinned back with bobby pins, and his eyes were sky blue. Honestly, this guy didn’t look like a teacher, he looked like a fucking model.

“Sorry I’m late,” I answered blankly, handing him the note.

He took a moment to read it before nodding. “You can take the empty seat next to Shishido-san.”

My eye twitched again as a hand raised into the air. Our eyes met and I fought the urge to facepalm as I took the seat next to Rei. What was this cliche bullshit happening right now? Kenko didn’t look too happy about the arrangement either.

Rei nodded his head at me before turning back to the basketball magazine that lay open on his desk. A basketball sat tucked between his feet.

Great, I sighed, resting my cheek in the palm of my hand as I stared out the window, another sport-obsessed freak.

━━━━━━༻🌧️༺━━━━━━

The bell for lunch finally rang and I stood up with a sigh, stretching my arms over my head to make my back crack. Before I could step away from my desk, a boy appeared in front of me, standing about three inches taller. His hair reached well past his waist in a thick braid – it was an ombre of pink and orange. His eyes were sky blue and he was grinning widely.

“Hello, beautiful.” He reached out to grab my hand and I took notice of his nails – they were painted the same color as his eyes. I smacked his hand away before he could grab me. “My name is Uno. And you are?”

“None of your damn business.” I scowled. “Get out of the way.”

“There’s that American attitude!” He grinned wider. What, is he the fucking Cheshire cat or something? “I’m from England.”

“Good for you.” I tried to step around him but he grabbed my arm. My fists automatically clenched at my sides. I’m trying really hard to behave, but this kid is just asking to bleed.

“Leave her alone, Howell.” Rei smacked his hand away and stepped in between us, his back facing me.

Uno pouted. “No fair, Rei! You don’t even care about girls, don’t go trying to claim her!”

“Nobody claims me, asshole,” I growled, shoving his shoulder as I forced myself past. I heard him whining about Rei not letting him go, so I assume he tried to come after me. I guess I need to thank the basketball freak for that later.

Kenko cocked his head to the side when I reached his desk. “I think Howell-kun just broke his own record; he’s never hit on a girl that quickly before.”

“Fucking annoying.”

He chuckled, wrapping his arm around my own. “He loves girls, but he’s pretty harmless. Not good with personal space, though.”

“Clearly,”

“So~ Are you going to tell me what you and principal Haruse talked about?”

“My record.” I stopped walking, staring at the floor blankly. “Did you know?”

“About your record? Of cou – ”

“Don’t play dumb, Kenko.”

He sighed softly before tightening his grip on my arm. He led me out of the crowded hallway and out behind the school where a small seating area had been placed. There wasn’t another person in sight. He sat down on the stone bench and I reluctantly sat next to him.

“The original plan was to have you attend Seishun Gakuen with Ryoma. The principle agreed, although reluctantly. Your dad didn’t like the way he acted when he found out, so he reached out to Haruse instead.” He smiled, sheepishly. “I’m sorry for not telling you. Your dad didn’t want you to know, he was trying to – ”

“Protect me.” I sighed, running my hand through my hair. “Fucking idiot, I don’t need protection.”

He patted my shoulder. “Just let him have this one.”

“…fine.”

“Now then,” Kenko stood up, clapping his hands cheerfully. “Let’s get some food, I’m starving!”

━━━━━━༻🌧️༺━━━━━━

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[prongsisabadger]

Songs for the Heartbroken: That’s What You Get

AO3

FF.net

Prologue.

What is the scariest thing in the world? If people say whatever first comes to mind, we would probably end up with answers like heights, spiders, or maybe even death; but there are definitively things in this world that are scarier than that. The ones I particularly find most terrifying, are people. Of course there are different types of people that are terrifying in their own particular way, but here, I'll only write about one of them.

People who love. This might sound a little stupid to some but bare with me and allow me to explain. The word 'love' has now lost its essence from the amount of times we've heard it said with astonishing lack of sentiment. But I am not referring to an eleven-year-old's version of love when they first confess to their crush; nor am I speaking about those words guiltily spat between ground teeth or stuttered in the spur of a moment for lack of a better thing to say. I don't mean those many whispered 'I love you's of someone who just cheated on their significant other.

No, what I fear is much more profound, raw, animalistic even. What I feat is a person who disregards their own life in order to whatever or whomever they love. Those people have a purpose and will do anything to see it through. Just like a parent protecting their child, a soldier fighting for a cause they believe in or anything that can inspire such passion in a person's heart that the consequences of their actions go beyond one's imagination. People with a mission and the will to lay down their lives to accomplish it; those are the people who scare me the most. It's men and women with this kind of drive and determination who bring down nations, who are able to destroy anything in their path; capable of building relationships, entire lives and tear through them with savage violence and not an ounce of hesitation.

But the most frightening part of it is not what they are capable of, it's the fact that you never know who they are until its too late. You might have known that person your entire life and never had contemplated the possibility. Anyone can be one of these people, one of those who love too much; and you'll never know until it's too late, not even if that person is you.

That is the moment these people will stun you the most, when you find that you yourself are one of them, unsuspicious even to your own consciousness, until you realize that you would be willing to do the unthinkable to protect what you love. When you realize, that after all, those things that once seemed so terrible are not anymore, and that if it means safety, then you don't mind doing them anymore. Not even if it means you will lose your humanity in the process.

I have only seen such drive in someone other than my brother and me, and it took me quite some time to realize it too. I knew Shisui and I were special in some way other kids in the clan were not, that was at least until I met Itachi. The heir to the Uchiha leadership seemed like nothing special when we had first been introduced, he was serious, pensive even beyond what would be considered normal for a four year old. Even I with the extensive training (it was extensive, ok? Cut me some slack I was four) I had been put through at that tender age, was not as stuck up as he was. Turns out it wasn't because he felt superior to others, as most people outside the clan thought, he was just very insightful and preferred to assess the situation before taking part in it.

His father, the Uchiha clan head Fugaku, was insanely proud of him, and he had reason to. Itachi was a prodigy in every sense of the word, excelling in every ninja art at a very young age and showing more promise than any other child in Konohagakure no Sato. But what no one expected from the quiet prodigy, was the fact that he was one of these people; one of those who love too much.

My childhood had been good enough considering the times we were living in. I had grown up within the safe walls of the Uchiha compound, caging me in for six years until I would be allowed to enroll in the academy, keeping me from seeing much of the village and even less of the world. Not that this was uncommon, after all I was a child; but it was at that young age that life started shaping itself around me, and events that would be shaping my future, started taking place.

"But onii-chan, I already practiced shuriken jutsu and kunai this morning! Why can't you teach me more taijutsu?"

Ah, the innocent, peaceful days when my only concerns were regarding my training. For some reason, even if I was a spoilt brat most times, my brother managed to somehow keep his cool; he was good with children like that, even if he was only two years older.

"Akane, your taijutsu is nearly perfect; you're the only one who could give Fugaku-sama's son a run for his money. Your other skills need honing too, you know?" I pouted. I used to do that a lot back in the day, so much in fact that Shisui had become immune to its effects, unlike our grandparents.

I took the weapons basket my brother handed me and once again, turned to face the target hung on the sole sakura tree in our garden. It had become a routine with the passing of the years, after our parents died in the war, Shisui had decided to take my training upon himself; since our grandparents were too old (and in my oba-chans case, too reluctant) for the task. So ever since I could stand up straight, Shisui had attempted to give me the knowledge he had acquired over his few years ahead of me. So far, he had been succeeding, and with my upcoming entrance exam in two years and Shisui's eventual graduation, we tried to spend as much time together as possible.

All of this led to a very strict training schedule we followed almost religiously. Before Shisui left for the academy, we would do a series of stretches and warm-ups, followed by our daily morning spar. And when I say spar, I mean a four year old attempting to pose a challenge to her seven year old brother. Anyway, Shisui would leave for class after breakfast and a bath, and I would get stuck with obaa-chan and the chores for the rest of the morning. Cooking, cleaning, doing laundry, doing the futons, I hated it all; but I did it without complaining or slacking off for obaa-chan's sake.

After that, I would help jii-chan at his shop in the Uchiha district market. He was a blacksmith, one of the best among the clan, and I had always loved watching him turn raw iron into the fine pieces of art that were considered his blades. Most customers were members of the clan, but every now and then came people from other parts of the village; and since I rarely stepped out of the compound, these were the most interesting days.

The bell hung on top of the front door chimed, snapping me out of my reading induced trance; I marked the page I was reading and put the book under the counter. Chakra control was a very important part of shinobi lifestyle, and I'd taken to read it's theory after a rather long rant Shisui had gone on after being under graded at the academy. The chunin sensei had obviously been in the wrong, so I was determined to, when the time came, point this person in the right direction and avenge my brother. No one looked down on Uchiha Shisui without facing the wrath of his younger sister, ever.

I let go of my still unborn plan for vengeance as I saw one of my favorite cousins enter the shop.

"Obi-niiiiiiii" I screeched as I jumped down from the stool behind the counter and made my way to him as fast as my short legs allowed me.

I only stopped a few feet away when I saw he wasn't alone. Embarrassing Obito-nii in front of his friends would not do. I would have loved to force the air out of my cousin with all the force a four year old could put into a hug, but apart from embarrassing him, I would put a blemish in the spotless name of the Uchiha with such childish behavior. So before I could give jii-chan a reason to scold me, I bowed down at the waist and tried to put the best impression of 'shinobi Shisui' on my face.

"Obi-chan, Onii-san, Onee-san; welcome to Uchiha Fuko's armory. What can I do for you?"

The girl behind my cousin cooed as silently as she could to try and not hurt my pride; while the silver haired boy simply acknowledged me with a slight bow of his own. Meanwhile, Obito smiled proudly and held his held high, probably showing off, with a light blush on his cheeks.

"Mah, Akane-chan, no need for formalities, this is just my team. This is Rin, and The gloomy bastard is Kakashi, I call him Bakashi though, It's more fun that way." The last part he whispered, shooting me a cheeky grin.

My cousin had always been quite easy to read, but the fact that a four year old could tell he was extremely pleased, spoke volumes. When Obito was pleased about something, he tended to boast, a lot; thus providing me with a semi-reliable information source; one just had to know where to look. That was how I came to know they were due another mission the next day, which delighted me in a way only Shisui knew. I had always been almost morbidly interested in anything shinobi, so this new information summoned a wave of curiosity and enthusiasm that I could only just hide.

"So you need more supplies for your new mission, is that right? Should I get your usual order of kunai, shuriken and fire conducting wire? Or will you need something else? I heard things are getting rough out in the battlefield."

I tried to hide my curiosity as best I could, Obito might have been a bit naïve, but I had heard about a silver haired prodigy before, and didn't want to get caught red handed trying to collect information. Thank goodness, he seemed to think I was interested in the subject, or at least making polite conversation; because he gave no signs of being onto me. Meanwhile both Obito and Rin looked amused by my 'playing adult' and had bright smiles on their faces as well as their full attention on me.

Ever since I had first started speaking, I'd found that different words and expressions, got different reactions out of people. Shisui, being the ideal shinobi trainee, had wasted no time in helping me hone that skill. He said information gathering and manipulation were key abilities for a shinobi to have; but that should only be used on the enemy. Of course, being a four year old, my 'enemy' was whoever happened to have what I wanted. In this case, Obito-nii and his team.

Obito put his hands on his knees and crouched to my height in order to address me. I, on my behalf stood straighter at attention, like my brother had told me when being addressed by a superior.

"That, Akane-chan, is classified information." he said slowly, clearly with the intention of letting my brain take in the new word; but I had been in the same room as my brother when he studied, it wasn't completely foreign to me.

I nodded rapidly and took a step back to address the other two, obaa-chan would have my head if she heard I was impolite to customers; and she would sure flip if she knew said customers were friends and comrades of the Uchiha.

"Rin-san, Kakashi-san, were you two looking for anything in particular? Our shop has quite the reputation for our work with chakra conducting metals." I said and made my way behind the counter to look for my cousin's usual order.

I struggled a bit with my yukata when I tried to climb the ladders and reach the top shelves behind the counter; but I managed to avoid breaking my neck and look at least a bit like I knew what I was doing. Traditional clothes were very restricting, when movement was concerned, but it sure looked good on a shopkeeper.

"That's the reason we are here actually, Uchiha-san. Both Kakashi and me are in need of chakra conducting blades." Answered the girl politely, the gleam of amusement still present in her eyes.

The other boy, on the other hand, who I was now certain, was the last member of the Hatake clan, stood silently to the side. He was eyeing up a tanto that was being displayed on a shelve to the side. He had a good eye, if I was being honest. The blade was not just beautifully decorated, displaying a wolf pack in the hunt on the side; but it was also of the finest quality my jii-chan had ever been able to make.

"I am no expert in that specific area," I said climbing down and placing my cousin's order on the front desk. "Would you please excuse me while I fetch my grandfather?"

When the lone kunoichi nodded, I smiled as sweetly as I could. Turns out Fuko Jii-chan was done with his orders for the day; so when the customers left, with their personal needs satisfied, I was allowed to go home and wait for Shisui.

In the afternoons, my brother would tell me about the lessons he had had that day or even a story if he had one about his classmates or teachers. After that, he would oversee my chakra training for the day. On this special discipline, I struggled more than was considered appropriate for a member of the Uchiha clan. Shisui worked hard to encourage me and hide his concern, but even if I was four, the disappointment whenever the leaf fell from my forehead, was still present in my eyes.

I tried really hard not to get discouraged, my brother was making a huge effort, and giving in to despair would be like throwing it all away. I didn't care if the clan thought of me as a disgrace; I just wanted to make my brother proud, to make him acknowledge me as a capable individual, someone worthy of being his sister.

I panted hard, trying to regain my composure, as my brother sat cross legged in front of me; leaf still firmly chakra-bound to my forehead.

"Nii-san, this isn't working!"

I wasn't trying to be ungrateful, not at all, but there was clearly something I was doing wrong; and it wasn't only compromising my training and hindering my development, it was making me a burden for Shisui. I never wanted to burden my brother, ever.

"Maybe Obaa-chan is right, maybe I'm no good-"

"Nonsense" Shisui never showed his frustration, not when it came to me; but for some reason, whenever I mentioned the issue with Obaa-chan he seemed really bothered by it. "If you want to be a Shinobi; that is what you will become. It makes no difference if you develop slower than everybody else in the clan. You will not be a career bride if you so clearly don't wish to."

He took a deep breath and closed his eyes before standing from his place on the training ground floor.

"I don't care if I have to train you myself. We will make an outstanding kunoichi out of you, Akane-chan." Shisui offered me his hand with a tired smile and waited for me to take it.

I couldn't help but hug him once I was on my feet. I knew he meant every single word he had said, he always did; and the fact that he so clearly had my future in consideration, showed me just how much he cared, and how lucky I was.

"Thank you Nii-chan, you are the best."

Shisui smiled right back at me and crouched, offering me his back. It had become almost a ritual; whenever we would be done with afternoon training, Shisui would give me a piggyback ride back home.

"Everyone deserves to live their own lives the way they want to, to make their own decisions and learn from their mistakes. No one is the same, Akane, and even if you don't agree with them, you should respect the path they have chosen."

The usual buzz surrounding the main road in the Uchiha compound was noticeably absent as we made our way through; it was to be expected since business was a lot less in the evenings. Very few people could be seen roaming around, and the few shop keepers that usually worked late were now closing up their stores.

"what if someone makes a bad decision, Nii-chan?" I asked quietly, noticing that I had no need to raise my voice above a whisper for him to hear me. The atmosphere around us was very calm and gave off a sense of warmth and comfort that I didn't want to break.

"Then you can do nothing but accept that it is the path they have chosen for themselves; and that they will have to face the consequences no matter what. Just make sure you never enforce those consequences out of spite, anger or vengeance, Akane. If someone has to atone for their sins, then let yourself be guided by your sense of justice."

Not entirely sure about what he had just said, I decided to just nod and let my head rest against his shoulder. I would later in life realize what he had meant back then; when friends and family would turn into criminals if only for a series of bad decisions.

[wafflelate]

An interaction with Shikako, Sai, and Kakashi - what's Kakashi's perspective on Shikako adopting socially-stunted Root agents?

hell yes more Sai. i love Sai so much.

takes place some time after the current chapter (ch 146/145) but doesn’t really contain any spoilers or anything.

I’m pretty sure that Kakashi hasn’t actually met Sai — Sai was at Naruto’s going away party, but Kakashi was in the hospital for chakra exhaustion. I didn’t check this very closely tho.

also i’m pretty sure that Shikako hasn’t told anyone about her water whip thing but I only like… scanned the Wave arc for that so who knows.

word count: 1973

                    ————————————

There’s a stranger in Team 7’s training ground.

It’s not like Kakashi or his students ever actually book the training ground, because it’s rare for anyone but them to chose to train so close to the memorial, and most of the people who might consider it know that it’s Team Kakashi’s space. Still, there’s always some wayward unobservant chūnin or fresh genin looking for a place to train, and occasionally they end up here. They’re always easy to scare off, and if they get snotty Kakashi sends them to Gai’s training ground for all the training they can stand.

(This is a punishment for them and a favor to Gai. He loves helping.)

The boy in the field is about the age of Kakashi’s precious not-genin-any-more genin and he’s not even training. He’s leaning up against the training posts, lapdesk out, drawing. Kakashi will give him this: it’s an unorthodox use of a training field.

“Aa, this seems like something you could be doing anywhere,” Kakashi says as he drops into view.

The boy is not surprised. He looks up at Kakashi calmly and gives a slow blink. “I believe there are several locations where this would be difficult,” says the boy.

A shiver walks up Kakashi’s spine. The blandness of the boy’s expression, the flat look in his eyes… he’s not confused, or annoyed, or nervous. He’s not anything, not like he should be with Kakashi standing over him and hinting that he should get out.

Tenzō had been the same way when Kakashi met him. Untouchable and untouched. Not missing social cues so much as not even attempting to look for them, sorting every interaction into Orders and Not Orders. And Tenzō had had the same bland tantō, the same standard-issue shoes and slightly subpar equipment pouches.

“I have training scheduled here,” Kakashi says, “so this is about to become one of those places.” He does not waste a smile or a cheerful, friendly tone on this boy. He speaks flatly, directly.

Kakashi is the boy’s superior and he will order him away if that’s what it takes to keep Danzō’s grasp from closing in around his kids.

The boy smiles, a rearrangement of his face with no feeling behind it. “I checked the training ground bookings and no one was scheduled to use this field,” says the boy. “But I think we are here for the same training partner, because you were Nara Shikako’s jōnin-sensei.”

“Don’t be rude, I’m still her sensei,” Kakashi says, and then gives the boy a second look with this new information. “You must be Sai.”

“I am,” says the boy, and now Kakashi feels rude.

And even more worried, because Naruto has described his and Shikako’s occasional mission partner as ‘kinda weird, but good, y’know?’ and Kakashi had had no idea that Shimura Danzō had managed to get one of his lackies so close to the kids. What in the fuck is Tsunade thinking.

“I’ve heard a lot about you,” Kakashi says. “Why don’t we spar? I have to make sure Shikako-chan’s teammates can keep up.”

Kakashi had thought that he could depend on Tsunade to keep unsuitable mission partners away from his team, but apparently not. He’ll have to get a little more hands on, starting with a good evaluation of Sai.

“Yes,” Sai agrees blandly. “It is good to know if someone precious to you has teammates they can trust.”

The problem with ROOT agents is that you can’t even tell when they’re being threatening. Tenzō used to say things like, ‘I’ll gut you like a fish’ in the same tone of voice he’d say ‘I’ll lend you my whetstone’ and that tone of voice was wrong for both.

Sai tucks his drawings away and they fight. Sai is good, but uninventive. He uses a lot of the same moves Tenzō started out with, at least right up until he pulls out a scroll and a brush.

Kakashi has had this skill of Sai’s described to him a couple times by Naruto, with lots of enthusiasm and little technical detail, so he’s not surprised when chakra constructs leap of the page but he is surprised at how fast Sai can produce them. Faster than any Kurama Kakashi has ever known, although that’s not saying much — the clan heir that Anko is teaching is maybe the only one who’s ever attempted to use the Kurama clan jutsu for combat, a choice that has Shikako’s fingerprints all over it — and Sai has the advantage of working without color.

Shikako shows up when Kakashi is closing in on destroying Sai’s last ink beast. She lingers on the edge of the training field, cautious as always about interrupting even a spar as lazy as this one.

(Well, lazy for Kakashi. Sai has worked up quite a sweat. He’s not entirely useless, but he’s still probably the enemy.)

When Kakashi stops and looks towards where Shikako is waiting, Sai halts, too. Shikako practically bounces onto the field moments later.

“Sorry I’m late, Kofuku-oba trapped me with more questions about Shika’s arm seal,” she says. “Hi, sensei! I see you met Sai. And stuff.”

“Yes, we’re acquainted now,” Sai says. “I have been assessed to see if I have weaknesses that may lead to you being injured or killed while working with me.”

“Okay,” Shikako says slowly. She looks at Kakashi critically. “I’m sure that’s not exactly what you meant, right Kakashi-sensei?”

“I was just curious about his combat skills,” Kakashi says innocently. “Naruto is terrible at explaining things, you know.”

“Don’t bully my friends,” Shikako chides, like an academy teacher lecturing pre-genin to share their kunai.

“How come you always assume the worst of your poor sensei?” Kakashi complains. “I just wanted to make sure he wouldn’t break on one of your rough, scary missions.”

“It was a good spar,” Sai says. “I enjoyed having my skills assessed.”

Shikako looks suspiciously between them, dissatisfied, but eventually decides to move on.

“Fine,” she says, and claps her hands together. “Since sensei is so interested in making sure your combat skills are developed and well-rounded—”

“I never said that,” Kakashi objects, uselessly, because he can see where this is going.

“—he can teach you some new things!” Shikako says. “He knows lots of water jutsu, you know.”

“You teach him some water jutsu,” Kakashi demands.

Shikako blinks at him. “I don’t know any? I mean I guess there are some in that book you gave us, but…”

“You used water whip months ago,” Kakashi says. “Without seals. Teach him that, it’s B-rank.”

“What?” Shikako asks. “When do you think you saw me do a B-rank — are you talking about the chūnin exams?”

Kakashi says, “I understand it can be hard to remember what exactly you pulled out in the heat of the moment.to please the crowd.”

“You said that your chūnin exam fights in Grass weren’t very interesting,” Sai observes.

Shikako is such a liar. It’s actually almost embarrassing.

“Really?” Kakashi asks, keeping his voice mild and raising his visible eyebrow at Shikako. “I guess we remember those fights very differently. But you definitely used water whip.”

“Sensei, I did not,” grumbles Shikako. She crosses her arms and gets that look that says she thinks she’s going to say something embarrassing. “It’s just a dumb chakra trick. For chakra control. I can’t just teach it to someone unless they want to spend a year or two messing around with it.”

“A… chakra control exercise,” Kakashi repeats.

“I think it becomes a technique once you attack someone with it successfully,” Sai offers.

Shikako says, “Well, it didn’t really do anything.”

“That’s because you were attacking the Kazekage,” Kakashi says dryly. “What kind of chakra control exercises have you been doing?”

“I made some up,” Shikako says, which doesn’t answer the question.

“You attacked a foreign Kage?” Sai asks. He actually manages to sound like… something. Worried, maybe? It’s probably Kakashi’s ears playing tricks on him.

“He wasn’t the Kazekage yet,” Shikako grumbles.

She gets so petulant when people start talking about her like she’s impressive. It’s adorable.

“Show us your chakra trick.” Kakashi waves in the general direction of the stream. “It’s a good learning experience for all of us.”

“Sensei, you’re not getting out of teaching Sai something,” Shikako warns him, but she does lead them over to the stream and show them her water whip.

It starts with water scooped out of the stream into a hollow ball of chakra. The chakra becomes a cylinder. The cylinder becomes a whip, and Shikako uses it to smack an impressive splash out of the stream. Water, she explains, is noncompressible. Also she doesn’t really know how to use a whip but it’s an easy shape to make and more impressive than a staff..

How is it that Shikako still manages to surprise him all the time?

“How long can you hold that?” Kakashi asks.

Shikako shrugs. “I don’t know, I’ve never tried to test it. Two hours? More?”

“Well, I guess if your fight lasts that long it won’t be chakra exhaustion that gets you,” Kakashi acknowledges.

“Oh,” says Shikako. “No, that’s not what I meant. After a couple hours the chakra bleed would mean that I wouldn’t be able to reabsorb any of the chakra, it’d be all used up. But I’d still be able to make another one.”

Kakashi huffs. “Chakra cycling. For external chakra manipulation. And you didn’t think you should mention that?”

Shikako’s brow furrows. “Is it a big deal?”

Is it a big deal, she asks. Kakashi wants to laugh and cover his face. Instead he says, “You’re probably right that you can’t teach Sai that. So, fine. Water jutsu. But I want something in return. I want…”

Kakashi turns to Sai and lets a sliver of ominous intent work its way into the air between them.

Kakashi draws the moment out, watching the way Sai reacts — his shoulders pull back, his stance evens out. Preparing to take a blow, literal or metaphoric, but not scared for his safety, likely because he registers that Shikako is exasperated by Kakashi’s dramatics rather than concerned.

Tenzō used to tense by relaxing to accept a blow just the same way, especially when it came to receiving instruction. Kakashi catches himself planning how to fix that in Sai, too, and kind of hates himself for his own predictability. Maybe, at least, he can introduce Sai to Tenzō and his kohai will do most of the work?

“…drawings of my ninken,” Kakashi completes.

Sai’s eyes open a little wider. His mouth falls open for just a moment and he feels the need to glance at Shikako as it to make sure Kakashi is serious. His surprise is immensely satisfying.

Carefully — probably unsure if this counts as backtalk or intel gathering — Sai asks, “How many ninken do you have?”

“Lots! Which is why he’ll give you one jutsu for each drawing,” Shikako interjects, before Kakashi can snow Sai into doing all that work for one C-rank water jutsu. A look at Shikako shows she’s definitely going to stick to that, too. No arguing her down with that look.

Damn.

“Fine,” Kakashi says, aiming his best woe-is-me face at Shikako. “You work this old man so hard.”

She laughs at him. “Someone has to,” she says, like coercing him into sharing his precious jutsu with random Danzō minions is some kind of public service she provides for the good of the village.

At least now Kakashi will be able to keep a closer eye on Sai. The boy can’t very well disappear into whatever muck Danzō usually has him wading through when he owes Kakashi eight dog portraits. Shikako looks so satisfied by this arrangement that Kakashi wonders if this is exactly what she had planned.

[kinomiakai]

In honour of Rebuilding being finished, here’s a bunch of tidbits that absolutely happen after it’s end (will I write these up into bonus chapters?????? maybe. I really want to, now, but it takes me months to write things, sooooo for now, here you go!!):

- Naruto absolutely forces Sasuke to visit team Taka’s hideout like a hundred times so he can bug Karin. You know this comic? 100% how it goes down

- Naruto takes to calling Sakura big sister/onee-chan after they come back (Sakura only calls Naruto little brother/otouto when Sasuke isn’t in earshot. But Sasuke’s a sneaky bastard & likes to eavesdrop, so he knows). About a year into it, Sasuke accidentally does it too. Everybody loses their goddamn minds. (It takes about two months after that for Sakura to timidly ask if Sasuke is okay with being called otouto. He says yes [bc Sakura really is like their older sister at this point, and even though it hurts, it’s different hearing it in her voice]. Everybody cries.)

- TAKE YOUR PICK OF:

Naruto attempts to surprise Sasuke by working with Sakura to make his sexy no jutsu able to carry a child. Naruto is terrible at hiding secrets he’s actually excited about, so Sasuke knows something’s up immediately. It takes him a month to get impatient enough to eavesdrop on them. Naruto leaves the room to find a stock-still Sasuke, frozen, in front of the door. Naruto’s afraid that he’s mad.

He’s not. (Everybody cries).

OR:

An orphanage is built on the Uchiha grounds; Naruto takes to being there during a lot of his free time (so, naturally, so does Sasuke). Naruto clicks with all of the kids no problem. They love him. He’s like a real life superhero. Naruto is pretty much mobbed by the kids every time he comes. Sasuke stays back, watching & working. One little girl keeps sitting beside him. She never says much, but she keeps following him around. Sasuke doesn’t mind her so much; she’s quiet & studious & they talk sometimes. He asks her why she isn’t hanging out with Naruto, like the other kids. She says she feels safe with Sasuke. Sasuke asks why. She says: “The village chose Naruto-sama, but Naruto-sama chose you.” & goes right back to colouring. Naruto notices they hang out a lot & always makes a point to bring her up. It takes Sasuke like another month before he finally grabs the paperwork for adopting her. He asks her before he asks Naruto. She cries. Naruto is like “what happened????” She hugs him & calls him dad/otou-san. Sasuke holds up the paperwork (kinda angry that she blew his cover but more terrified that Naruto would say no). Everybody cries.

Obviously Naruto says yes (he had gotten the paperwork ages ago, too, but kept getting too nervous to bring it up to Sasuke).

- Sasuke comes home one day to find Sakura sitting at Naruto’s feet, getting her hair braided. Sakura calls them “dad lessons”. The first time Naruto does a french braid right, he doesn’t shut up about it for the rest of the day. (Sasuke does it on the first try. Naruto is very bitter.)

Sasuke starts finding little braids in his hair when he wakes up. He keeps them, sometimes (Naruto gets really excited when he does. Sasuke pretends not to notice). Blame jasu for me loving braids in Sasuke’s hair honestly

- Part of the dad lessons involve Sakura teaching Naruto lullabies and children’s stories that he never got to learn. After Sasuke starts sitting in on the lessons, it takes him about a month to start contributing with some of his own.

It leads to way more of Sasuke talking about his family - little things, like the cake his mom would make every winter. Naruto spends years trying to recreate it (even though Sasuke really had no idea what the recipe was or how to make it); he gets it, eventually (because Naruto never gives up). Sasuke cries. Naruto cries bc Sasuke cries. (Everybody is always crying)

- Sakura is their child’s godmother. She becomes Aunty/Oba-san pretty quickly. Kakashi is acts very disgruntled about being Grandpa/Oji-chan (but he secretly loves it). Iruka makes no secret about how much he loves it. They all babysit all the time.

- The front yard of their house turns into a garden. Except it’s tomatoes. All tomatoes. Every single different kind of tomato there is. Naruto makes it his goal to find out Sasuke’s favourite. (This turns Sasuke into some sort of tomato snob. It’s all very confusing for everyone not involved).

[sinkingorswimming]

Since you all liked Hikari and Hinata so much in the future!Taker verse...

The sound of a door slamming is uncommon in the Katsuki-Nikiforov household, enough so when Victor hears it he almost drops his teacup right in front of his slippered feet. 

In the summer the kids will close the sliding doors far too hard as they run out to the beach to swim, but this was an inside door. Hikari’s, if he has to guess. Sundays are homework days for her and to rest from ice and rosin-protected parquet, and it’s the scheduled week for his lapochka’s trip to Tokyo for work. He should be arriving to Tokyo station for his connection to Shibuya shortly, Victor notes as he checks the time. 

Victor sets his drink on the counter, wading through dog bodies who follow their Oldest Hooman to her door. There’s a sign on it in lavender glitter with her name in kanji, Cyrillic, and English lettering she made in school for an art project.  Victor knocks. “Lisichka? Is everything alright?”

“Go away,” comes an upset and angry sounding 12 year old voice.

Victor’s eyes widen---while Hikari tends to dote a little more on Yuuri, she has no standoffishness towards him. At least, not normally. “Hikari? What’s wrong? Please let me help if I can.”

“It’s gross,” she says.

Victor blinks while rubbing his hand through his hair. “I don’t...” He pauses. “Why don’t we try talking it out? I’m sure I won’t agree.”

There’s silence and then the door is flung open. Hikari’s hair, neatly plaited when he last saw her an hour ago, is now a disheveled ponytail. She had on a pair of pants and a sweater, but now she’s back in her pajamas. 

What breaks his heart is how miserable she looks. He opens his arms and after several moments of a wary stare, she falls into them. After a couple of minutes, she begins to cry. 

“Lisichka,” he says. He strokes her hair several times. 

“It hurts,” she says. “It hurts a lot, and everything’s unfair.”

“What hurts?” he asks, beginning to sound an alarm in his head. Is their doctor open today? If not is there an emergency clinic he can take her to? He’ll send Hinata to the onsen, have him stay with Mari while---

“My stomach,” Hikari says. “I have these cramps. And I---” she stops herself with a frown. “Can we call Otouchan? Or Mari-oba?”

Victor pulls his phone out of his pocket and selects his first contact. It rings twice before being sent to voice mail because---right, he’s on the train. He can’t talk. 

A few seconds later, though, there’s an iMessage. Hey. What’s going on?

Victor passes her the phone. “He can’t speak on the phone, so tell him this way, alright?”

Hikari nods with a wet sniffle. She types furiously and then waits for a response.  When she gets it, Victor can feel her relief, but she’s still horribly sad and frustrated. “He says to get me some NSAIDs, a heating pad or hot water bottle, and to let me just lie down for a while after both.”

Victor doesn’t understand at all, but he goes to the medicine cabinet in the master suite and grabs a bottle of Meridon. He gets her a bottle of her favorite aloe drink, and he lets her take two pills chased by the beverage. She still looks like her world is ending, and Victor longs to fix it. 

He gets her a heating pad and she takes it with a sad nod. Then she lies down on her bed with her knees drawn to her chest. She turns the pad up to high when it’s placed low on her stomach and just breathes for a while until her expression smooths.

Victor checks the texts. Have Mari, Yuu-chan, or the triplets go to the pharmacy to get her pads. I’m not sure what will work best since it’s her first one. Also if she asks for anything like chocolate, salty foods, or red meat, let her have it. It’s normal when this happens.

When...what happens? Victor can’t help but ask. He thinks pads and chocolate are some kind of major hint, but he’s blanking.

Her period, Vitya. She just got her first period. 

Victor stares at the phone like it’s a cobra that just bit him eight times. What...but...she’s just...she’s a baby still! She’s so little! She hasn’t grown up enough for this! He’s not old enough for this! Are you sure?

Blood in her underwear, painful cramps, out of nowhere bad mood...yeah I’m sure. We eat twice a week with my older sister---I know the signs pretty well, I’d say. 

Victor tries not to fall to the ground. He’s not ready for this. 

I’m not ready for this.

Not your call. Try to be gentle but don’t press her too hard or be too invasive. Give her the snacks and don’t bother her about competition weight or costumes. Caffeine is a bad idea, it may make her cramps worse. And get her the pads ASAP, she’s making do with less than ideal options since we didn’t have any in the house.

Okay. I’ll do all of this. Thank you, lapochka. I miss you and wish you were home.

I do too, I feel bad not being there. I’ll see if I can reschedule some of my meetings and come home a few days early.

Victor’s palms are sweaty. He wipes his right hand off on his trousers. Thank you, lapochka. Miss you. Love you.

I love you too. I’ll let you know about coming home. Call me if you need any other tips. 💙

I will 💙💙💙💙, Victor replies. He walks back to the kitchen and takes two ibuprofen himself with a sip of his now-cold tea. He texts Mari next explaining the situation, and Mari gives him brand names and thicknesses for Hikari to choose from as needed, but there’s a big footie match in a half an hour and she can’t leave the onsen. 

He orders from Amazon Now and forty minutes later, he has the pads. He knocks on her door before opening it. “Hikari, your Otouchan told me what happened. I um---got you things.” 

He holds the pads like a bomb. Hikari gives him a confused look at first until she realizes what he has. “Can you put them in my bathroom? I’ll...get one soon.”

“Yes,” Victor says and puts them within easy reach of the toilet. He leaves, and he gives her a look. She hasn’t moved and her eyes have closed again. He honestly doesn’t know what to do, and he feels ancient, and she’s his baby and this is too soon.

“Papulya?” she says, soft and timid. Not the force of nature she is normally. His heart shatters. 

“Yes?”

“Can you lie down with me?” her voice is watery again. She sounds scared, like every breath is a struggle. 

He couldn’t refuse if he wanted. Her bed is a bit small for them both, but they manage so she doesn’t have to move out of her comfortable position. Daifuku tentatively joins them at their feet with a sad expression, the other dogs crowding the floor on her side of the mattress. 

Hinata peers around the partially-opened door. He adjusts his glasses in a way that’s 100% Yuuri, and Victor misses him more than he ever has. The family is missing a large piece on an important occasion and it feels wrong. Victor gestures over Hikari’s back, and Hinata climbs onto the bed as best he can. 

Hikari manages to doze off, Hinata as well even though they both hate naps, and Victor checks his phone. 

How is she? Is everything okay?

Not quite but it’s better, Victor responds because Yuuri will be displeased if he lies.

I’ll be home Wednesday evening. I’ll call in a couple of hours, too,  and let her know. I’m so sorry that I’m not there.

Nothing to apologize for, lapochka. You cannot read the future. We’ll make do until your return. 

Okay. I’ll still call later. Probably after I get dinner. If she wants to stay home tomorrow, go ahead and let her. She may feel akward, or she may not feel well enough.

I think I’ll just tell her to stay home regardless.

Okay. Let me know if you have any other questions or if she needs anything else. Tell her I love her.

I will. Thank you. Love you.

You too.

Victor locks the phone. He strokes his daughter’s back while his son’s glasses go askew as he turns his face too far into Victor’s chest. None of them in this bed are ready, but they have to be anyways. 

It’s what growing up means. It’s been a long time since Victor has, but that hasn’t changed. Truly, he suspects it’s simply a constant, that there’s really nothing more permanent than transformations and adaptions.

[beevean]

逆転裁判　逆転のトノサマン Part 2 (捜査 1)

I will finish this game. I promise. I just need to speed things up.

I’ve decided to cut the vocabulary section, as that was my main drive to analyze everything and waste so much time. I think the small localization differences are more interesting anyway.

This post goes from the first meeting with Oldbag to the end of the first part. Nothing exciting happens here. Here’s all my playthrough from the beginning.

Oldbag says about Powers 「お茶の間に出せるシロモノじゃないよ。メシがまずくなる。」, “He’s not a fine thing that can be served during tea, the meal would go bad.” Somehow she sounds even more condescending. Speaking of which, she always refers to herself as “oba-chan” and to Powers as “that kid”. (why is she popular in japan i have no idea)

Yet another example of AA1!Phoenix being translated to be ruder: when Gumshoe tells him that Edgeworth is all sad after losing to him, Phoenix replies in Japanese “I... I didn’t know that”, with something of an apologetic tone「し、 知りませんよそんなの 」. English Phoenix responds with a far blunter “Umm... so?”

“That’s my endearing character trait!” was a far more drastic “My identity will crumble down!”「あ。。。あいでんてぃてぃがホーカイするッス！」

Mr. Monkey is described as a tenguzaru (テングザル), or proboscis monkey. I understand why they had to simplify it, but I found it interesting. Of course, the next comment isn’t “what kind of monkey has a nose like that?” but “do tengus have such a round nose?”

Typical example of localization: in Japanese Oldbag seems to like tea and yokan, which in English became coffee and donuts. Of course the English translation also took the opportunity to sneak in a “cops love donuts” joke, which in Japanese was Maya praising “the oba-chan of Nippon”.

As a reversal of the typical “AA1!Phoenix was ruder in English”, “I'm glad someone around here seems to be enjoying themselves” was an even more sarcastic “People can laugh so cheerfully”「人間って、こんなに朗らかに笑えるもんなんだ」

I may be wrong, but it looks like in the English version there’s a piece missing: if you investigate the drain grate in Studio 1 (and specifically the grate, not the drain itself), Phoenix comments that it’s bent and it would be a hassle to fix. It’s not that crucial to the plot, but this is the first time I’ve noticed that the translation straight up cut an object that could be investigated.

Another cute example of localization: the vending machine in Studio 1 sells “tea, miso soup, shiruko, kudzu tea and oden” instead of “cola, candy, chips and gums”. Similarly, on Will Powers’ table, there are wagashi instead of “cookies”. I honestly had no idea that the first game was so Japanese, I thought they started to add stuff in the second game.

Again related to localization, Will Powers has “Western clothes” mixed with “Japanese clothes”, instead of “some regular suits in among the costumes". Interesting.

Penny seems to be slightly more formal in Japanese. For example, when Maya introduces Phoenix and herself as Will Powers’ lawyer team, she says in English “I don’t envy you guys one bit!”, while in Japanese it’s just “That must be hard”. Or when Phoenix asks her if she knew that Powers was sleeping in his room, Penny says “No!” and it’s clearly embarassed in English, but simply “I didn’t know, I’m not so improper” in Japanese. They also did no effort to convey her use of the “masu-desu” form. (tbf it’s not like she has a shining personality anyway, so i don’t blame the translator for spicing her dialogue up)

Fun untranslatable detail: “Nick! You're craftier than I gave you credit for” was “うわあ、なるほどくん、おぬし、意外と悪だね”. Which means roughly the same thing, but おぬし is an archaic pronoun to refer to equals and inferiors, the joke probably being that Maya is speaking like a samurai. How can you even translate this sudden word choice?

I’m happy to report that the “ladder-stepladder” running gag is perfectly intact and the translation was faithful :)

“Eat your miso ramen hamburgers Maya.”

[reddodebiru]

Japanese Honorific Prefixes

If you have some experience with Japanese, you may have noticed that lots of Japanese titles start with “o.” An “o” at the beginning of a Japanese title is usually an honorific prefix.

Removing the “o” makes the title more colloquial, and in some cases, rude.

For example, the word for mother, with honorifics, is oka-san. Without the prefix, it becomes ka-san, which is more like “mom” than “mother.”

Keep this in mind as you learn about Japanese honorific suffixes.

Formal Japanese Honorifics

1. – sama

The most formal honorific suffix is -sama, and it’s used for God (kami-sama) and royalty(ohime-sama).

You can also use -sama to flatter people or to be sarcastic. For instance, if you attach the suffix to the slang male term for “I” (ore) to create ore-sama, this basically means “my royal self.”

2. -san

The most common formal honorific is -san, and it translates (approximately) to Ms. and Mr..

It’s used among peers and in public settings, like offices or schools (unlike in the United States., coworkers and fellow students usually refer to each other formally). It’s also used for acquaintances.

*Note: When in doubt, use –san.

Informal Japanese Honorifics

1. –chan

This is an endearing female honorific. While it’s most commonly used for children, it’s also used fairly widely among family and friends.

All of the women in my family refer to each other as –chan, even my grandma (oba-chan).

You can also use –chan for males; one of my second cousins, Tatsumi, has always been Tat-chan instead of Tat-kun, probably because it just sounds better.

This suffix reminds me of the diminutive –chen in German; lieb means love, but liebchen, which technically means little love, actually means darling.

You can use -chan the same way, to add a sense of cuteness to names and titles.

2. -kun

This is the male equivalent of –chan; it’s used for kids and between peers and friends.

While all of the women in my family refer to each other as –chan, we don’t usually use the –kun suffix (or any suffix at all) for grown men in the family. It could be interpreted as a little too “cutesy.”

3. -bō

This suffix is more cutesy than –chan and –kun.

It’s OK to call an adult male –kun, but it’s definitely not OK to call him –bō, which is reserved for little boys. It’s a derivative of obbochama, which means something like “little lord.”

Familial Japanese Honorifics

In general, the Japanese refer to their older family members with honorifics instead of names. It’s very similar to how, in the U.S., we refer to older individuals with titles (Mom, Dad, Grandma), and those younger than us by name.

Nowadays, it’s possible to refer to elders with informal title prefixes and suffixes without being rude. I’ve included acceptable iterations in the chart below. There are other titles, but it’s best to avoid them if you don’t want to accidentally call your Grandpa something like “Pops.”

Formal Japanese Honorific Titles/Suffixes

A few Japanese honorifics can be used as stand-alone titles as well as suffixes. Think of the English prefix Doctor: you can call your doctor “Doctor”, or you can call her “Doctor Smith.”

Sensei: Used for teachers Senpai: Used to refer to upperclassmen in school or a sports club.

Japanese Honorifics Made Simple

If this seems like a lot of information to remember, try taking private Japanese lessons, or check out the group Japanese classes at TakeLessons Live. Group classes are an excellent way to get some language immersion and work on Japanese honorifics. When in doubt, stick with -san, and call your Japanese teacher “Sensei.” The rest of the suffixes will become a natural habit with time and practice.