#and hope they don't charge me $300 each

[thelaststarfalling]

kitten acquisition is likely actually happening this weekend

i think i am going to get one orange male and one calico female

now i have to pick names (which i am being indecisive about lol) and schedule spay/neuter and other basic vet things which is unexpectedly stressful hnnnng

[yelenasdiary]

I was wondering if you could do a Wanda X masc reader. Wanda is a cam girl and reader pays her to go out on a date due to having social anxiety. Please add some angst oh and a happy ending.

Just Be Yourself

Pairing: Camgirl! Wanda Maximoff x Masc! Reader

Summary: After a dare from your friends, you asked your favourite camgirl out for dinner, of course paying her for her time.

Angst, Fluff

Warnings: Mentions of Adult entertainment, Mentions of Social Anxiety, Wanda getting some unwanted attention, Mentions of physical violence | 2K

AC: I hope it’s okay that I tweaked this a little, thank you for sending it & I hope you enjoy! x

"What's the worst that could happen? she says no?" your friend said, flicking through her magazine. "That's the not point" you replied, "she'll probably think I'm just some creep like the rest of her followers. Hey, you don't know me but if I paid you $300 would you go out on a date with me? I would sound desperate" you added. 

"You're overthinking it, she is literally asking people to give her money to perform stuff on camera" your friend pointed out, "besides, I dared you so you have to do it" she added. You sighed knowing she was right, whenever one of you dares each other to do something it becomes like an unspoken rule that you had to do the dare regardless. You grabbed your laptop and opened up the woman's website.

Your fingers hovered over the keyboard as you thought of how to ask her out to dinner tonight, but she did say she was open to these type of things. People give her money to just go to engagement parties as a plus one from what you've heard. How do you ask somebody you've only had little interaction with on a date? To dinner? You went to close the lid of your laptop until your friend stopped you, "give it me!" She shook her head, taking the laptop from you. 

"Hey,

I hope this isn't out of line or anything, but I would love to take you out to dinner tonight. I would pay you of course, just name a price. If you're interested and would like to have a fun night, I would be more than happy to pick you up around 7pm. If not, that's fine but I hope you'll think about it"

Your friend typed out the message and pressed send. "There, now it's done" she looked to you. 

"What did you say?!" You panicked. Your friend turned the laptop around to face you, "oh god" you sighed, "this is stupid!" You added. 

"I have been hearing you talk about how funny this woman is and also how you beautiful you think she is, despite her being a camgirl, I think you should really go for this" she explained. You were about to reply when your laptop made a ping like sound. 

"Hi there!

This is really sweet of you and I would love to have dinner with you tonight, are you in or around the Westview era? If so, there is a diner you could pick me up from if you'd like. I would feel more comfortable in a public setting, I hope you understand. 

As for pricing, I usually charge $800-$1,500 for events but for something like this, $500. Let me know what you think! I can't wait to hopefully meet you!

~Wanda xo"

The message stared back at you leaving you speechless. She actually replied, she said yes and even said she couldn't wait to meet you. Your social anxiety had suddenly made its appearance, your palms began to sweat and your mind was coming up with different ways to try and get out of going. As much as you wanted this, your anxiety had always been a block in the road. 

"Hey, don't even think about it" your best friend's voice brought your mind back to the present. "I'm not doing anything" you replied, walking over to your wardrobe. "You are, you're thinking of ways to not go, you're letting your anxiety win" they added as if they were inside your head.

"I'm not, I am just trying to think of something to wear" you replied, brushing off their comment.

----

As asked by Wanda, you waited inside the diner for her to arrive. You wore a pair of your favorite jeans, a plain colored tee topped with your favorite jacket and shoes. Your favorite rings on each hand and one of your favorite necklaces to finish the outfit. The clock on the wall read 7:10pm and your mind began to wonder if maybe she had stood you up. Your heart began to sink, the one time you try to put yourself out there and you get stood up, until. 

"Y/n?" A woman's voice softly caught your attention, making you turn around. You smiled softly; it was her. 

"Yeah, that's me" you replied trying to hide the nervousness in your voice. 

"Hi, I'm Wanda" she smiled sweetly, "it's lovely to meet you" she added as she reached in for a friendly hug. You were glad she didn't go to shake your hand, nothing seemed to stop them from sweating. You took a moment to yourself just to remind yourself that you've got this! Your friend's voice floated in your head, "just be yourself, she'll love you!" Reminded you that you didn't have to be nervous besides the fact this woman is a complete stranger that you met on the internet, but she was just as nervous as you were, you just didn't know it.

"It's lovely to meet you too, I made reservations at a Mexican restaurant only a few blocks away, is that okay?" You replied. 

"I love spicy food!" Wanda's eyes lit up. You smiled softly, thankful that she was excited for the place of choice. You held the door of the diner open for her as you both left, you held the door open of your car for her which surprisingly took her back a little. "I can't believe I was beginning to think that nobody liked to hold the doors open anymore" she commented with a chuckle. 

"I guess you could call me old school" you replied before closing the door. Your nerves slowly began to calm down, you'd made her smile and chuckle all before even getting to the restaurant and you took that as a small win. 

----

"I have to say, this is really refreshing. I mean, you're not like anybody else who pays me to pretend to be their partner or pays me for other things. You're sweet, so I have to ask…why did you want to take me out tonight?" Wanda asked, taking you completely by surprise while the two of you picked at the shared small bowl of nachos before your main meals arrived. 

"Oh, umm, I mean, thank you" your words stumbled, "I don't want to sound like a creep or anything but I didn't first come across you from your website. You actually came up on my Instagram and I thought you were beautiful so I followed you and then I saw your website and some of the things you do on there but I just thought you'd really nice to get to know but I totally understand if that freaks you out" you added, your palms under the table begin to sweat once more. 

Wanda smiled softly at your reply, "that's really cute actually! I am so used to people wanting 1 thing, which I guess I set myself up for that but it's really nice to not feel that tonight" she spoke. 

You couldn't help but smile in reply just as the waiter placed your main meals in front of the two of you. "So, tell me a little about yourself" Wanda looked up at you before picking up her fork. 

By the time you had ordered dessert for the two of you, plenty of laughs and jokes were being shared. The night was going wonderful, better than you could've ever imagined and your anxiety eventually became more tolerable. 

"Hey there, sorry to intrude on whatever this is but are you scarletwitch838?" a young man asked, not caring for the fact he was in fact intruding. Wanda looked up at him and sighed quietly to herself, "I'm sorry, you must have me mixed up with somebody else" she replied. 

"For real? Damn, you look just like her, look!" he replied, pulling out his phone and showing her a video she'd uploaded to her site. "H-how did you save that?! You're not supposed to keep the content!" Wanda snapped in a panicked. "I knew it! You are her! Yo, I'm a huge fan! The way you can move your body, man I've never jacked off so hard before"

"Okay, that's enough. You're being rude and I think you should go" you stood up, looking him in the eyes. 

"What the fuck are you going to do about it? You know she's a whore for the camera, right?" he laughed causing Wanda to excuse herself. You wanted to call out for her but you didn't want the man to know her real name. The man laughed once more, "I guess the bitch can't handle the truth, I hope you have a great time with her, sure as hell everybody else has" he added with a smug look.

Your body reacted faster than you could think, punching the guy in the face harder than you've ever hit anything before. He fell to the ground, "You crazy bitch! What the fuck!" he groaned. Customers around you all froze, the manger shook their head at you from afar and you knew you were going to be asked to leave. You pulled out your wallet and placed a $100 bill on the table before making your way to the bathroom to find Wanda. 

"Wanda, are you okay?" You asked from outside the bathroom. She opened the door and sighed, "I'm so, so sorry about that. I really try to avoid things li-"

"Hey, don't stress. He was out of line, you have every right to be mad. Plus, I think he got the message" you interrupted her. 

"Excuse me, I'm going to have to ask you both to leave" an unknown voice spoke from behind you, you turned to see the manager standing there with an unimpressed look. "Don't worry, we were just leaving and honestly, if anybody should be leaving it should be him. He harassed this woman, is that what you want your restaurant to stand for?" you replied. Wanda looked between you and the manager. 

"I'm really sorry, I wasn't aware that he was causing an issue. We will ask him to leave, and your night is on the house. Again, we are sorry" they replied, handing you back the $100 bill you placed on the table before. You gave them a light nod before looking back at Wanda, "I'll give you a ride home"

----

Wanda gave you directions to her neighborhood, you pulled over out the front of a nearby park out of respect for her but she insisted it would be okay for you to see where she lived. "Nobody has ever stood up for me like that" she said as you pulled up out the front of her house. 

"You don't deserve to be treated like that by anybody" you replied looking over at her. 

"I had a really great time tonight, I really hope this hasn't ruined it for you" 

"Ruined it? This was the best date I've ever been on. Even with that crap, I had a really fun time with you. You're funny, you're sweet and really, really beautiful. I'm not usually this straight forward like this but I just want you to know that I don't see you like how he did" you replied with a soft smile, "you're person just like everybody else and so what, you make some money online, we all need to make money to live. So who is he to judge how you make your money" you added. 

Wanda smiled before leaning over and placing a kiss on your cheek, "I'd love to see you again, if you're up for it" she said as your cheeks went red. "I'd love that" you replied with a flustered look. 

"Good, keep that money, I don't want you pay for my time. You deserve it out the money" she replied, "I'm going to put my number in your phone, text me when you get home, okay?" she added. You nodded before you punched in your passcode and handed her your phone. Your stomach filled with butterflies, your night started off with nerves and anxiety was now ending with flustered cheeks and butterflies. It was safe to say you were excited to plan the next date.

Taglist:  @boredandneedfanfics | @music-4ever | @karmasgxrl | @milkeeteaa | @marvelwomen-simp | @swaqcenix | @mostlymarvelsstuff | @scarlettbitchx | @mallyka-blog | @itsalwaysskorpioszn | 

If you want to be on the taglist for my work, please click HERE.

[castielsparkle]

hey guys im sorry to e-beg so much but i unfortunately have had no money for awhile and i can't go any longer without asking for financial help bc i have payments due and i need basic necessities that i haven't been able to buy in a while.

i was working two jobs, now have neither bc of health complications (physical and mental) as well as the second job just becoming money for transport to the first job bc i can't drive. i was walking to the second job but the first was only accessible by car. on top of this, i was experiencing mental strain while working the second job, as it was across from a building i'd previously had to leave for my own wellbeing because i was being harassed by one manager and assaulted extensively by another. the second job also had an hour walk commute each way on foot, which was very taxing as i have chronic pain. i have been out of my medications for about a week now as well, and i spent the last money i had, which was thankfully given to me by some lovely friends, on food for my cats, and a ride home from being with a loved one in the er. my meds help treat a variety of mental illnesses i struggle with, as well as physical pain, and i am also out of hrt supplies. i also have been having troubles w accessing my own money bc of it being withheld by companies i am still trying to sort out rn. (for example i just got done dealing w/ an issue selling a concert ticket i'd bought a year ago in advance, unfortunately through circumstances that had nothing to do w/ the company, me, the customer, or the mail service i used, the tickets had trouble in the mail. due to this i was not able to make the ~300 dollars i sold the ticket for [retail price 400+ when i bought it over a yr ago] but also i was penalized the charge of a replacement ticket incorrectly and didn't receive back the 220+ usd they took for that for weeks. i'm having similar unfortunate issues happening w/ other places still and have no clue when, or if, i will get my money back at all)

i am open for commissions of all sorts + design customs + i have adopts if anyone is interested. please message me/mention on this post if you'd like commission work. these are open whenever unless specified otherwise - however, the payments i have to make are due within about a day (as of 11/11/2024) so i am really scrambling right now.

i'm so sorry again to ask. i don't want anyone going broke trying to help me of course tho, i am not entitled to anything and please only send anything if you can without worry. also even just interacting means the world, tysm 💙🫂 hope you all are well

ca/vm: luvrwulf

pp: darklydreaaming

('dreaaming' with two a's)

[oodlyenough]

arcane s2 act 1

alright might as well collect my thoughts for posterity

first and foremost: obviously the triumphant cackle i was doing the entire hexcore scene. huge W for me, personally. did it always feel like the most logical and narratively satisfying extension from s1? sure. do i trust television to do the most narratively satisfying thing? no. especially not after fandom spent years of the hiatus trying to convince me otherwise

really all the jayvik scenes were, more or less, exactly what i expected/wanted and very satisfying lmaooo. i knew jayce wouldn't give a fuck about the shimmer or unethical experiments. i win!

other stuff i liked:

in the hiatus i've now seen all of yellowjackets and it has made me fonder of ella purnell and by extension jinx, lol. i love sevika and i think their grudging alliance in the wake of silco's death is a fun direction. jinx finding a random dumpster baby and adopting them immediately, silco would be so proud lmfao

i love caitlyn's dictator arc. i have to be honest i found her disney princess schtick in s1 pretty boring, so this is finally something more flawed and dynamic for me to invest in. yes girl get worse

ambessa rules. i was a little rolling my eyes at the "wow she was pulling the strings all along" reveal, bc it was so obvious and i was sort of hoping they'd do something more interesting with her. but this show has never been subtle. either way it still seems ambessa believes she's protecting mel? so i AM curious about how that plays out

i don't know shit about the league lore around the black rose stuff and don't want to <3 knowing league lore has never improved my arcane experience. but those sequences were very cool and took me by surprise. some good body horror with elora. good luck in the nightmare labyrinth mel!

stuff i liked less:

i think the stylized music video sequences are being a little overused. maybe s1 did them as frequently and I forget? anyhow, the police brutality one really worked for me, because it's the kind of info that def needs to be montaged, and the style was cool and engaging. cassandra's funeral ... i understand why they did it but i didn't like the regular arcane models mixed with the charcoal bgs, i found it distracted me from what was meant to be the emotion of the moment. and the jinx montage i found kind of mid.

i do think the pacing feels as breakneck as ever, to its detriment. i said above the jayvik stuff all played out basically as i wanted, which is more-or-less true, but viktor just be like I Have To Go Now was a bit abrupt. i can excuse a lot of that on the basis that i don't think viktor is really himself anymore because of the hexcore -- very flat emotionally, etc. and i assume we'll see them butt heads again later in the season. but still, the hextech weapons, the nonconsensual hexcoring, etc, would've expected something a little more explosive lol

plus, then we shift from that scene to the Furby Comedy Hour and jayce and heimerdinger having like a nonreaction to each other despite how acrimoniously they parted or how emotionally charged jayce must be sleeping next to viktor's empty cocoon etc... felt whiplash-y to me. but i hate heimerdinger and ekko teaming up to begin with lmao (and ofc ekko directs his frustrations with piltover to jayce, and not the 300 year president furby he has no beef with for some reason)

this extends to vi's decision to pick up the badge, etc. stuff just happens really quick and the fact that the passage of time in the show isn't very clear doesn't really help. i can understand why riot didn't want to spend two decades making five seasons of this show, but 2 seasons will probably feel too short imo.

[la-tramontana]

when it comes to voting

It's time to stop relying on political machines and staffers to do the work and act like organizers. Anyone and everyone can do it, but it's important to remember that if you want to move someone from INACTION to ACTION, the biggest influence on that person's behavior is going to be a personal relationship with strong rapport.

That means you.

Make a list of your contacts. ALL your contacts, including the annoying ones. Online and offline. Your neighborhood. Everyone who could roughly be called your monkeysphere. Your target is a list of 10 - 300 people who you have some ability to contact.

Next, power-mapping.

Who knows who? Who influences who? Who is in a friend group together? Chunk them up into key groups. Try to find a person in every group who you think could influence others, and who you could also influence. Identify people in powerful positions.

Do you have friends who have more influence in their particular friend groups than you? Do you have friends who you might be able to convince to go to a protest with you?

It's time to agitate, which means targeted asks. Get your identified influencers, people who already want to be engaged in politics, who will vote but won't do more yet (in unions, we call these "strike captains") to say "yes" to actions such as: protesting, spreading the word, joining a project like Sister District, registering people to vote, as you are able. If they say no, that's fine. Let them cool off, rebuild the relationship stronger, and ask again.

Ask people to ask people, specific people who you know they know, to vote. Check in a couple weeks later to ask about what so-and-so said.

You can't do all of this yourself. Organizing means pulling other people in and sharing responsibility. Your goal is to spend as little time "in charge" as possible.

Document barriers to voting and organize mutual aid to cover those barriers. This may mean helping people pay for their IDs, driving people to the polls, etc. The likely fact is that if you know 50 - 100 people you probably know some people who have some resources and some people who are going to need some help. Connect these people to each other.

Leave the hard no's, the ones who want nothing to do with politics whatsoever, alone and focus on influencing as many people as you can around them. You might be surprised at the outcomes you can achieve.

Something that's worked for me, but YMMV: if anyone asks, you aren't agitating and you aren't organizing and you definitely aren't a leftist of any type. You're a centrist leaning slightly conservative with neutral values (smile). You don't care about specific outcomes, you just want the election to be representative of people's views. You want to get young people involved in "something." It's important to participate in democratic traditions.

Make a timeline of 3 months or so leading up to the election with concrete, achievable goals every week. Your goal is to flip as many of your targets to a. VOTE and b. ORGANIZE their own monkeyspheres. Use gentle peer pressure: "I know so-and-so registered to vote lately, have you? Do you need help?"

Don't forget to remind people of both a. the stuff that pisses you off and b. what you hope to win. Without hope ya got nothing.

Don't use regurgitated lines or scripts; come up with your own motivations, your own way of saying things. The less you sound like you're working for the democratic party, the better.

Here's the money line that got my famously "neutral" and "apolitical" turf of 200 to swing active and anarchist: "No, I'm not going to tell you how to vote. That's your business. Check the issues and see what you think. I just want you to vote in the strike authorization. Don't you think our group should get a say in the outcome?"

[foxolotlfreak]

*ding* New Cosmetics Unlocked

‘What are we supposed to do about him’

‘Just don't let him interfere’

‘we were created to uphold balance not to keep random masters from showing up in the realms’

‘Even if he interferes destiny will head on the same path, it doesn't change’

‘Solaris, you're in charge of watching the kid’

‘Damn it’ 

Weird dream. Cool dragon looking things though. meh time to get up. Vincent is taking me to the city around midday. So I gotta brush my teeth and get my Sterling City Kelpies shirt for the game in the evening when we meet up with everyone else.

“ Where in the great gods am I” opening my eyes revealed a blank ceiling, no stickers, no color spots. This isn't home, what did I do last night? 

I shake my head trying to rack it for ideas when my eyes hit a sleeping figure on a nearby couch, Lloyd. How did i forget the rift, i never forget stuff like this. Maybe it's portal lag, is that a thing?

And why didnt i panic when I noticed I wasn't home?

I remove the green quilt from my lap and see my bag on the other side of the bed. I grab a small pack of poke snacks for my team and a piece of bread for Miri. Picking up each pokeball and releasing its inhabitant.

I pat waves on her head, remembering when I adopted her. 

‘And this is the runt of the litter, and so far one of 300 world wide cases of pre birth evolution, and one of 70 fusion eeveelutions’ 

I pat the little week old vaporeon on its head and it nuzzles up to me.

‘No one wants her but scientists and we have a strict policy’

I look down at her sparkling orange eyes, I trace my finger around each of the gold rings of her webbed tail.

‘I want her’ i peep out as she sits in my lap and licks her paws

Then there was berry and cherry. The bonded pair of my ‘shiny’ hisuain zorua and my gardivoir. 

I never liked the normal battling method of catching pokemon. I prefer to set up a picnic or tent or something and let them come to me, if they want to stay they do and if not i let them go free.

‘Oh hi little ones’

They just sorta came up to me every few picnics and eventually they joined me in the elite four battle

Broccoli, my first pokemon. My starter as they call them.

“Ok guys, let's be quiet. Lloyd is sleeping '' I see everyone's version of a nod, they don't know who Lloyd is but if i don't want him up they wont wake him.

I walk out to the hall and choose to walk right looking at paintings as I go. Battles and portraits, Lloyd and other ninjas Arin told me about. They seem happy, it's sweet.

After walking throw the maze of a home i find a front door and open it to a well cared for courtyard, i run when i see Miri off to the side, she's barely awake by now but one of the ninja must have hooked her up to an outlet given the cord on her back.

“Good morning Miri” i pat her head and walk to the gate at the far end of the yard, everyone spread out and stretched their legs. I stop to admire the dragon statue centerpiece and continue to walk. The gate was light for its size and I opened it to meet the eyes of a teen with red hair in a loose bun and a pale seafoam gi.

“You come out here to watch the sunrise too?” I ask as I sit down next to her. She nods lightly. If this is Wyldfyre shouldn't she be energetic like Arin said? 

“I was told a lot about you, Arin said you were raised by a dragon '' I offer that Arin spoke about her and she sorta just looked off. So I talked about my sisters, three of which are half dragons. I saw her perk up at the mention of my eldest sister stella's dragon heritage and she began to ask questions by the time i started talking about flare, she was full on chatting with me when i got to talking about star.  

And then it happened, again, like always. My passive ability, everyone who is around me long enough will start telling me every fear or anxiety from their life. Maybe it would be nice if I were a gossip or blackmailer but I'm not. so i just listen, i hope that's enough. 

But wait, Arin and Lloyd were right next to me for a solid hour before passing out. Maybe they're just resistant, or maybe I'll finally have to earn someone's trust.

“Oh i see you've met celeste, wyldfyre” lloyd stood at the gate and held it open as wyldfyre and i walked in. wyldfyre seemed cold towards him, she was so happy a minute ago. Did Lloyd do something?

After waiting and corralling my mon’s to one side of the yard, Arin, someone I have to guess is sora given our matching hair, and a few other ninja Arin rambled about, came out to practice something they call “spinjitzu”. After watching for 10 or so minutes one of them came over and introduced themself as nya, she said that given my powers i might be able to learn this ancient technique.

So I got up, I listened, they had me do a course, then I spun. And spun. About three hours passed when something clicked, just not how it was supposed to.

‘What's the kid doing solaris?’

‘He's trying to learn spinjitzu, its kinda sad’

‘Dang, not even a spark?’ 

‘No, and given who i am i don't think he’ll ever do it’

‘Whats, that then.’

I spun, and the ground around me was no longer flat and gray, bright spikes protruded from it.

‘Not spinjitzu, go ask the high priestess’

‘You don't need to call her that’

“Well, this is interesting, know what” I looked at nya as she grabbed Arin’s hand and told him he should teach me, the face he made was so confused and mortified as he whisper-yelled to her about how he could barely do it himself. I gave him a thumbs up.

“Maybe I should figure out how to turn off the colorful death points first?” just a suggestion but nya told me to try and untense, and it worked. Kinda. I calmed down from the semi panic i didnt even notice had set in, and then the colors slithered on the ground. Nya was closer so she was first, they did just what they did to lloyds gi.

 Blues and grays of many shades swirled until a large sea serpent had formed on her gi.

A silver armored head piece depicting antlers grew from her hood, the lower half of the outfit gained a deep ombre and her belt now held a self-contained sea, the ends formed foam and everything. It's really cool. 

Then colors moved to Arin but it seemed like they couldn't touch him, so they returned to me and vanished back into the stone. Now, Cole walks out, sees the self containing confusion, spins on his heel and leaves.

Nya looks at her gi, she seems to have mixed feelings. Her face looks like the design brought back something she didn't want to remember but the glint in her eyes is hopeful not fearful. 

“I'm going in, arin you're coming with me” she grabs Arin again and drags him inside, he gives me a silent sorry as the door closes.

I notice wyldfyre, who has been watching this unfold. I didn't even see her come out here again. She asks if i can do that to her gi, i say i can try. And as if listening to me the colors shoot out to her like bullets.

The colors dont change much, nor does the pattern. The small bone of her belt shifts to a flare glass, something rare in my world. Then the belt shifts turning to have the slowly growing tails facing backwards, the flare glass is now at the tip of a tail made of fabric, what i should have prepared for was the tails movement. 

“CELESTE DID YOU JUST GIVE ME A TAIL” she didn't need to yell that loud but i wasn't in her shoes, id seen flare glass powered limbs and enhancements, heck i have one on right now, though its more discrete.

I mumble yeah whist calming her down, she fiddles with the tail as she quickly realizes her dream has come true. Shes a dragon now.

Kinda

‘Ok, this kid might be a threat to destiny.’

'call the madam?'

'call the madam'

[lastchancevillagegreen]

Thursday, 7 March 2024:

The Unsustainable Library Library Project Part 7:

Five Ways of Disappearing Kendra Smith (4 AD) (released in 1995)

One of the strangest, most disappointing collections we received Wednesday in donations into the sorting room at the library involved a book of 20 books and 300 CDs. They all came from the same person because they all smelled the same. The 20 books were of colossal disappointment to me because I'm in charge of "Special Books." Those are books that might carry some value. I price them based on generalities of other rare book dealers' prices for the titles. I tend to price mine lower because my goal is to sell things and give people the bargains they hope to find in a library sales room. The books were all first edition printings of Stephen King hardbacks with perfect dust covers. I opened the box and saw Carrie, Salem's Lot, The Shining, Christine, Firestarter, Cujo, etc. Immediately I was let down because the instant you opened the box, you smelled the mold. Seeing the titles, which command high prices, I envisioned putting them on my Special Book shelves for $30 a pop (a steal) but when I opened up the books, the mold was thick inside. The top inch of each page was covered in dark flecks and the pages were all spotted. These books wouldn't sell for 50 cents, they were ruined. I hated to make the call that these were worthless, but these were worthless. I don't sell garbage.

The CDs were in plastic bags that smelled identical to the Stephen King books. I have serious allergies that have been rocked by this job and I didn't much want to go through these CDs. They weren't moldy like the books, these were actually in fine shape. Some, however, had jewel cases that looked as if the owner painted them in chili and let it dry. Those went into the trash. Half of them didn't even have CDs inside, they were just empty. Booklets and artwork were all present, just no CDs. Another 70 were CD-Rs of great artists (lots of Pixies) but the library doesn't sell CD-Rs, especially not coming from Johnny Mold. (There is a caveat to this statement: I'll sell DVD-Rs of DVDs pressed by Warner Brothers and Universal which was commonplace in the early Aughts, but I include a statement on the cover of the DVD indicating this is a DVD-R and if it doesn't work, bring it back in and I'll refund your money.)

The CDs were an odd assortment. Lots of classical music, lots of Broadway Soundtracks and Motion Picture Soundtracks and lots of rock CDs that we don't normally get in: Sinead O'Connor, Kristin Hersh, Belly, virtually none of the hits of the 90s (although Jewel's debut cropped up which seems to be a dime-a-dozen in people's CD collections). The funniest thing in the entire collection was a lone country CD of Mindy McCready's 1996 debut, Ten Thousand Angels.

When this album showed up, I had no idea what it was. I flipped it over and immediately recognized the artwork and layout as being a 4 AD release. I check labels on artists I don't know and generally that tells me all I need to know. I hadn't even noticed the 4 AD logo because the font of the title, the artist's name being housed in individual blocks for each letter, the layout of the tracklist screamed 4 AD. That's all I needed to know that it was coming home with me. But I did look up Smith on discogs on my phone and discovered she was in the Dream Academy. Yes, this was coming home. I've plenty of 4 AD releases and when does one encounter a bad album from that label?

Above you see the cover of the album followed by a shot of the back which revealed this was 4 AD (even without seeing their logo). Below is the jewel case opened up.

The next photo is of the booklet opened to a random page, again, revealing the classic style of 4 AD's art style.

A close up of the CD ends the entry.

[nityarawal]

8/17/23

Court PTSD;

Tax The Junk

Happy By The Waterfall

Another Day Of Freedom

Twitter Has Turned

Into Hell

Court Contentious

The Elon Show

Memes Teasing Us

20% Moms 

Crying

For Our Kids

Eliza

Disappeared

Mysteriously

Should We Be Afraid

To Ask For Elon's 

Help

So Demonized

A Terminator 

Just Changed

Our Name To "X"

Shootin' Rockets

Won't Acknowledge

"O"

Should We Be

Grateful For

Overpromises

Like All The Politicians 

Show

6 Years 

Of Germ Warfare

7 Years

Of Divorce Courts

You Got Your AI

"Prototype" X

To Rebuild As

Many Barbie

Nitya Britney

Dolls

You Got My DNA

They Stuffed Covid

Tests

Up My Nose Weekly

For Reality Winner

You Got Your

Prototype

15 Free Cyber Truck 

Commercials

I Was Sold 

For Collateral 

On The Black Market

In Detention

They Planted A Cyst

Showed Me

Aften Bearman's

Brain Cancer

Regrowth

I Sang Her To Sleep

With

Om Namah Shivayas

She Said Putin

Was Her Husband

Ended Up Being

Raped By Officers

Back Teeth 

Knocked Out

Bleeding With Ejaculation

And Spermicide

From Gay Officers 

Ass

Another Day 

A Cop Beat

Her Bloody

Blue

At Court

For A PD

Without A License

My Mulatto

Pregnant Bunky

Most Beautiful Avatar Being

PhD in Law

In The Riverside

Detention Zoo

Did They Kill Her

What Happened 

To Her Baby

And 3 Kids

She Hoped 

And Prayed

With Faith

Her Mother And

Daughter Would

Be There For Her

In Her Final Days

But We Passed

Each Other In

Chains

At 4:30am

Hungry

On The Way To

Court

Last Time

I Helped Her

Hair Grow Back

If Only I Could

Of Done That

For Sinead & Britney

Sooner In Hindsight

I Sang Her To Sleep

Om Namah Shivaya

Chandra Told Me

All The Nature Elements

Earth's Properties

If I'm Gonna Be

Your Free Slave

I'll Sing Our Country

To Peace

On Video

And We'll Testify

I'll Sing The Muses

And Dr's Back

Into Court 

Did It Once

Only Problem

Presiding Judge Clark Now

On Attorney Bribes

What Does She

Earn

Is It Like Judge

Sawbraw's Transvestite 

Factories

At The Border

We Know You Be

Recruiting

Barbie For Fun

But Once You

Done A Trans

Dolly

Fettish Gets In

Don't Want Your

Bottoms 

Bugs

In My Courts

Got So Many

Trans Officers

Wanna Hear 

The Travesty

And Trajectory

Sir

Chop Your Junk

Offer The Goods

Like Sushi Hurt

Never To Fish

Again Sir

Chop The Junk

You Might Buy

Kanye West

Or Maui

Seaside Property

With Foul Brokers

You Think

Chop The Junk

It's Not My Thing

Sir

An Elective Surgery

On Obama Care

Tax Dollars

Tax The Junk

Elon's Son/ Daughter

Heshe Vivian Musk

And The Hookers

Who Groomed

Her

Tax The Junk

Tax 'Ye's Conservatorship

We Felt He Was A

Mommy Lover

Donda His True

Color

Tax The Junk

Bruce Jenner

Heshe Caitlin

Tax The Junk

Don't Care How Pretty

Those Persian Cats

Are In Elvin Prison

Tax The Junk

Tax Tmobile

Tax Latinos Who

Can't Fix Voice-mail

For A Custody

Battle

Tax The Junk

Tax Airbnb Gags

In Federal Government

Tax The Junk

Sheriff Bianco

For Being A F'ing

Coroner

Tax The Junk

Tax Advanced

Dermatology

IEHP Gays

No Don't Take A

Chunk Of My Nose

Instead Tax The Junk

The Covid Test Probes

Tax The Junk

The Manorexic DAs

Tax The Junk

The Sex Offenders

Tax The Junk

Epstein Business

Gag Orders Appeared

To Have Gotten

In The Way

Take The Junk

$300 Billion To #FreeBritney

Tax The Junk

The El Salvidorians

Harem Servicing

My Old Broker

Shane Stewart

Tax The Junk

The IRS Biggots

The Faggots

Who Stole USA

And Our Children

As Brands

Tax The Junk

I'm Tellin' Ya Maui

Tax The Junk

Dr. Oz

Wasn't Meant To

Be A Magician

In A Conservatorship

Like Robin Williams

Tax The Junk

Poly #Kfed TMZ

Canadian

Commonwealth Scammers

Tax The Junk

#PrinceOfPegging 

Journalists

On Bribes

Tax The Junk

No More Rockets

How Dare You

Shoot Off Another

Bribed Piece Of

Warfare Here

In The United 

States Nasa

For Oily Blood Money

How Dare You 

Shoot Off

Another Piece Of

Warfare In Ukraine

And Charge Our

Journalists

200 Million

Hacked

By The Littlest

Clark Relative

Running The Dr's

And Attys

Nazi Crimes

Spreading Lymes

Get Yourself Pine Resin

Get Turpentine

Get Your Turps Up

And Get Them

Nano Particles

Out Infecting

Judges Murderin'

Wives

Get Them Heavy

Metals Out

Of Your Brain

If

Can Still Think

Britney Likes

Turning Tricks

For Federal Government

On Twitter

Really 

You Think

Facebook

Microsoft Court

Bribes

Anne Heche

Didn't Like Being

Murdered on Fentanyl

For Atty Broker

Bribes

And I Didn't

Like Getting Hung

Up On By Millions 

Of Courts

Robbed Of Everything 

I Didn't Like It

Dykes Of Defense

What You Did

Fingerin' Me

Take It Back

Elon Will Pay

Tally It Up

I'm Singin' Us 

A Happy Ending

Camping Now

Cleaning Homes

For Showers

And Lexus Lemon Laws 

Stalls

Mechanics

But Need My Homes

Sick

It's Boring As "F"

And I'd Add

3 0's To Damages

For Holocaust 

World War 3

No More Pao

Needed From Maui

Dragons Came And Burnt

Everything

Peace

Mahalo

Mojomana

Luna

Sisters Divine

(SUNG TO MORENGA)

Mahalo- Pau- Peace

Nitya Nella Davigo Azam Moezzi Huntley Rawal 

[petermorwood]

What @dduane calls The Not-Screaming Thing has probably done my Karma rating some good.

It helps to have been on the other end a few times during a school-summer-holiday job, even though that was back in the 1970s before real I-want-to-see-the-manager Customer Entitlement made itself felt.

And in at least two instances - maybe good luck, maybe a dividend from all that Karma - The Not-Screaming Thing has reaped real benefits.

Bear with me, now.

*****

Back when I was thinking about my first smartphone. I took a fancy to the HTC Desire. DD had been using one for about six months, had nothing but praise for it and - convenient! - they were on offer at a discount from my cell provider.

So I called to order one and - despite the on-offer ad still being loudly front-page on the provider website - they were completely out of stock.

I didn't scream, complain, or tear strips off the sales agent because the ad was still up when it should have been down, I just said "Oh well, better luck next time. Bye..."

That's when the agent said, "Could I put you on hold for a minute?" and, after a few more minutes, came back.

Agent: "Listen, we've just got an initial batch of the new HTC Desire HD. They won't be officially available until next week, but my supervisor says you can have one now if you want."

Me (cautiously): "How much more than the old one?"

Agent: "I'm authorised to give you the same discount offer."

Me: "What, really?"

Agent: "Yes, really."

Me: "Yes please!" (confirmation of cell account, address etc. followed. Call was about over. Then...) "Um, why did this happen?"

Agent: "We ran out of the discount phones just after lunchtime, and you're the first caller all afternoon who hasn't yelled at me as if it was my fault. Have a nice evening..."

*****

Second time was when we were having fibre broadband installed.

It was meant to go in at the end of October 2018, but - according to the Customer Service transaction log I kept, Just In Case - what with crossed wires (hah!) and other failure-to-communicate blunders at the installer end, the order was:

redirected

confused with another order

put on hold

cancelled

found to be cancelled in error

renewed

reconfirmed on 14th May 2019

finally connected on 17th May.

This suggested how fast it could have happened if everything had gone right.

Because it hadn't, we'd been spending the usual fortnightly top-up fees on an unimpressive line-of-sight cellular broadband which was all our location allowed. Its signal was slow at the best of times, and got slower to the point of stopping when it rained heavily.

We're in Ireland, guess how often that happened...

So where, despite all those top-up fees we shouldn't have needed to pay, does The Not-Screaming Thing fit in here?

Because I'd been calm and courteous every time I called for an update, and I'd been calm and courteous every time I was told about another error. I don't know how I managed that, because I was definitely simmering underneath, but it made me feel better, I'm sure it made the help-desk people feel better...

And, like the smartphone, I got an unexpected pay-off, because as I signed off after the installation, I noticed our original 150 Mbps plan was now upgraded to the 300 Mbps plan, even though the monthly charge remained that for the lower speed. The same initialled authorisation was beside each amendment and there's been no change since.

I don't know how many times we've made back that batch of surplus top-up fees, but Enough To Matter A Lot would cover it.

*****

Despite those personal experiences (which I hope don't sound like me putting on a brag about What A Nice Chap I Am because trust me, I'm sometimes not) on the whole The Not-Screaming Thing earns little more than Brownie Points and a positive deposit in the Karma Bank.

However in the real world it can make someone else's day a bit less unpleasant, and that's worth doing - even if you have to grit your teeth a bit as you do it. ;->

From my time on an IT helpdesk

I don't know what your secret number is. I have not, nor never have been able to put a number on your account.

I did not deliberately make the password reset hard to annoy you. You made it hard by not knowing anything. Like your email, or phone number.

I'm not obliged to replace your device because you screamed at me. Especially if you broke it yourself.

The burnout on high level support is intense. If your case got lost, that's because your tech had a mental break. Or you've been exploiting a senior advisor.

I'd love IT if it wasn't for customers

Posted by admin Rodney.

[cuntwrap--supreme]

Nothing weirder than waking up to your dogs barking, going to investigate, and finding there are three men on your roof cutting the thing apart. Hi. Hello? Who are you?

[dumbingofage]

Hi, I hope this is the account managed by David Willis. It's pretty hard to find an email adress to contact the artist.

I have a very simple question. Are you ever coming to Europe to do a comic con stuff? I would really really like to shake (or wave) to you. For the last +10 years, you have made my life pleasant by your comics. I started with Shortpaced, for the sole reason I liked the art. The awesome storyline got to me later, went reading It's walky and after that, I begin reading Joyce and Walky. I started reading Dumbing of Age from the start.

Anyway I stop with the praising. Don't want to make this awkward, so let me start asking if you are aware that you have fans in Europe?

It would be awesome if you could visit Holland or any of the west-european countries on the mainland, so not UK.

Greetings from The Hague, The Netherlands.

Ronnie.

Thanks for reading! It warms my dark heart. I mail quite a few books each Kickstarter to various European countries, so I know you folks are over there.

In order to get me to Europe, I'd basically have to have my way paid for by a convention, because otherwise such a trip is a little out of my financial comfort zone, especially if I want to be not a terrible father/husband and bring my family with me. Because I live in the United States, I'd basically have to choose between Europe Trip or Healthcare. Well, okay, US Healthcare for a family of four is like ten Europe Trips. I live in a great country! Just a wonderful, amazing country, full of freedom and getting charged $300 for a 15-minute annual checkup because they billed the wrong insurance and then you spend six days on the phone.

Long story short, if you want me in Europe, start begging local conventions to have me flown in as a guest.

or get the united states to implement nationwide socialized medicine, either or

[theowritesfiction]

'The Serpent's Pass'

I love this episode because two sorely missed characters - Suki and Jet - make their return.

I loved how after having to be an absolute rock during the previous episode, this one starts off with Katara getting to be playful and just enjoy herself. I loved her waterbending bomb. She's adorable.

The worsening refugee situation is yet another aspect of the war revealed very effectively by this episode. Can't fault the people for thinking that Ba Sing Se is safe...

Ah, the return of Jet! Immediate Jetko rights. There is some serious Jetko bonding in this chapter and it's great to see. Jet and Zuko's little operation to liberate the food for refugees... @juniperhillpatient, for how dysfunctional Jetko can be, you have to admit, they worked together very efficiently! Also, hearing Jet speak about how he has re-evaluated his life and is going to BSS for a second chance... why the fuck did they have to kill him off? He could have played such an interesting part in the story.

I'm glad Iroh is approaching his return to Ba Sing Se with the grace and dignity... of a complete and utter clown. Sometimes I wonder what the hell is wrong with that old man. Misgendering Smellerbee, what the fuck? 40 Jerk Points.

Damn, the Sukkka reunion is hideously sweet. Suki playing the tough guard and playfully harassing Sokka was so gosh darn cute. I re-watched that part at least four times. Sokka being super protective of Suki after what happened to Yue makes so much sense, even if he comes off annoyingly overbearing, it's still fun to see him trying to protect Suki from a spider. Sokka still missing Yue is a tearjerker moment. I'm glad Sokka pulled himself together at the end though. With how criminally little screen time Suki is given in this show, Sokka you better take any chance you have to kiss that girl.

I am going to give Aang huge credit for agreeing to guide the refugees through the Serpent's Pass even if he's depressed and lacking motivation. I want to slap Sokka for complaining about that, especially when he wanted to use the pass in the first place. Also, I can completely understand Katara being horrified by Aang's talk of abandoning hope. Katara is someone for who hope means everything.

I really enjoyed the action while fighting the giant serpent. Katara's waterbending has come such a long way. The awkward moment of Toph kissing Suki while thinking she was saved by Sokka was funny, but also kind of... weirdly set up? So all the previous abuse Toph hurled at Sokka was because she secretly liked him? I don't know how to feel about that.

Could my admiration for Katara grow any higher? The way she takes charge of the situation after the refugee lady goes into labor is impressive. At the age of 14, she's helped Kanna deliver babies back at the South Pole. When I think back to what I was like when I was 14, it just makes me blush and cringe.

Seeing Aang regain his hope at the end of the episode was so touching. I also remember how at the start of Book 2, I thought to myself: meh, this is the season where they started to push Kataang. Except... they haven't? Only Cave of Two Lovers contained traces of Kataang. This episode? It's all about sweet and caring friends energy, sorry.

Also I love the cliffhanger this episode ends on, the shot of the Fire Army drill was so ominous, like... I don't know what the hell is that thing, but it's scary.

Okay, so only Iroh was supposed to get Jerk Points for this chapter, but I'm going to touch on something that ties into the previous episode. I've always felt that Katara is criminally underappreciated by the fans and the ATLA writers, but also by the other characters on the show, she is literally ALWAYS just taken for granted. She put up with so much BS leading the group out of the desert alive, and yet she received no recognition for it, not even a single thank you? I'm giving the rest of the Gaang 30 Jerk Points each for taking Katara for granted.

Jerk Points for Book 2:

Iroh - 550 Azulon - 300 Ursa, General Fong  - 200 Aang - 160 Zuko - 120 Ozai, Toph Beifong - 100 Sokka - 70 Bumi, Lao Beifong - 50 Pakku - 30

Iroh is really pulling away at the top... can anyone challenge him this season? Long Feng has his work cut out for him.

[pekotranslates]

Traces of Two Pasts pgs 98-121

By the time they reached the empty lot near the Sector 8 train station, it was evening. Artificial lighting from the Slum’s “sun” must have already been adjusted to mimic natural sunlight. She wouldn’t have known the difference if she hadn’t been told. The dusky landscape was expanding.

Rakesh stretched out his arms and, by way of an introduction, said, “What you see here are freight cars being granted their second lives, all belonging to Manson Group. You’ll be doing business with that blue freight car over there.”

She spotted a freight car used to transport cargo, its exterior coated entirely in blue paint. Each one of the containers in Container Alley was spacious enough to fit in three cars.

Rakesh approached, slid the door open sideways and walked in, and then motioned for her. Tifa trotted over and followed him inside. The sudden spike in temperature and humidity made her flinch. Sweat broke out all at once. The sweet smell that filled the air stimulated her appetite.

The whole interior had been turned into a big kitchen with three women busily working—One was turning the stove on to heat up a stew pot, another was chopping vegetables on the central kitchen counter, and the other headed towards a counter close to the wall and began forcefully kneading dough. Nobody looked over in their direction.

“The lady over at the stew pot is Tororin. Handling the dough is Neriko. And Kiriko is the one chopping the veggies.”*

Names are all associated with cooking. For instance, Neriko or 練り粉 means “dough” in Japanese.

“Got it...”

“I don’t know their real names either.”—Rakesh lowered his voice.—“But if they don’t bring it up, don’t ask. That goes for anyone else here in Container Alley.”

“Alright. Um, will I be working here too?”

The work didn’t seem too bad.

“Nope. This is just where ingredients get prepped before going to get sold at stalls. Come on, we’re leaving.”

In the end, Tororin and her friends never once turned to look at her.

Once they were back outside, Rakesh slid open the door to another freight car.

“Over here is our office slash warehouse. Food stalls are taken out in the morning and returned at night. Today’s our day off, so see over there? That’s what I’m talking about.”

Peeking inside the dim freight car, she saw a food stall equipped with wheels and a signboard on top scrawled with the words: Sector 8 Steamed Buns.

“Sector 8 Steamed Buns…”

“Yep. Fluffy, soft buns filled with veggies and topped with sweet-and-spicy minced meat. Mm, delicious! The buns are, to put it mildly, a popular item.”

“I don't know if I can do this...”

“If you can’t, you can’t. We’ll think of something else. But for now, I hope you’ll convince yourself to do it.”

“Okay.”

“You’ll get specific instructions about your work from “Uncle” tomorrow. He’s been selling steamed buns for forty years.”

“F- Forty years?!”

“Yep. So it’s a traditional taste. I’m in charge of accounting though, so let’s talk about your salary.”

“Alright.”

“Your portion is 20% of the day’s profit. 20% goes to “Uncle”, 30% goes to the cooks, and the remaining 30% goes to Manson Group. The cost of the ingredients will be subtracted from there. One meat bun sells for 3 gil, so if you sell a hundred of them and your sales total 300 gil, then you'll get 60 gil from that."

“60 gil…”

Was that a lot or a little?

“As a salesgirl, you’d be making twice as much as what the cooks make. How much we sell depends on you, and that's why it’s so much harder.”

While Rakesh escorted her back to the Container Alley, Tifa immediately started calculating. Rent was 15 gil a day, and the shower, 3 gil per shower. Meals would be provided at the food stall, so she could count that as zero. So in one working day, she would have 42 gil all to herself. From that, if she makes small payments to Dr. Damini…

Tifa crunched the numbers in her head. But because she wasn’t very good with numbers, she had to work it out again and again, until she arrived at this conclusion: “It would take me 66 years to pay off?!” No, that can’t be right. She calculated one more time and ended up with the same numbers. There was no way in hell she could live in a dingy container eating only steamed buns to pay off her debt for the next 66 years!

The night dawned without her being able to sleep well due to anxiety and nervousness. In the spur-of-the-moment, Tifa left her room, intending to use 3 gil from the money Rakesh lent her to pay for a shower.

“I’d like to shower, please.”

“Have you come prepared?”

What she needed was determination not preparation.

“I’ll wrap myself in a towel and go in like that.”

“Virtually no one comes here at this time of day. If they do, I'll drive them away. Go ahead and bathe.”

“Thanks.”

“That’ll be 2 gil for the look out, which brings your total to 5 gil.”

She was shocked but not surprised.

“Must have been through some pretty bad things to wind up this deep in the heart of the slums. At least let yourself enjoy a nice shower,” said Shower Guard while accepting the money.

Tifa was grateful enough to be able to shower, but the water was surprisingly hot for the living conditions in the heart of the slums. As she stood under the hot shower, she felt a calm settle over her.

Her partner was waiting for her as she wandered toward the warehouse near the station. He was a pale and little old man, decked conspicuously in bright red from top to bottom, with salt-and-pepper hair that was cropped close to his scalp, which he scratched at as he ogled Tifa.

“Alright, you pass. Follow me.”

The old man turned his back on her and started walking towards the freight car office-warehouse from yesterday evening.

“Just call me ‘Uncle’. You’re Tifa, right? Wanna stay as-is or should I pick out a trade name for ya?”

Uncle turned around, his gaze lingering again.

“Lessee… We could call you…” His eyes paused at her chest. She felt a sense of foreboding.

“That’s okay. I prefer to use my real name.”

“You sure? Ah well.” Uncle’s shoulders drooped. He picked up the pace and entered the warehouse.

“We’re getting the food stall out,” he said, but didn’t lift a finger to help. Fortunately, it was lighter than she expected, and Tifa was able to bring it out without too much trouble.

“Next we’ll load it up with ingredients for the steamed buns. Wonder if the cookhouse has it all ready.”

Tifa guessed that she would be doing that work alone as well. They headed close to the entranceway of the blue freight car where they collected the vegetables and other ingredients, as well as the pot loaded with the simmered minced meat. The pot was heavy.

The ladies working the kitchen didn’t bother to return her greeting.

“You’ll get used to it,” said Uncle, but did not move to her aid.

“Try towing it.”

There was a large u-shaped handle at the front of the food stall. She shimmied inside of it and used her hands and stomach to push it forward.

It was similar to the handcarts used in her village. When she was small, she used to ride on top of the load-carrying tray for fun, while Taylor pulled her along. Or maybe it was Lester?

The food stall loaded up with everything was heavy. As she pummeled her body forward using her core strength, she felt a sharp pain spreading in her chest.

“You alright?”

Uncle peered into her face, worried. Maybe he was actually a nice guy.

“You’re white as a sheet. Did you get any sleep?”

“No, not really.”

“Aw, come on! Our goal’s to sell five hundred today!”

“Isn’t it supposed to be...one hundred?”

“If that’s all you can sell then this business ain’t right for you. Our last guy sold up to a thousand a day.”

“In one day?!”

“Damn right! But since it’s your first day, I'm cutting you some slack and dropping it down to five hundred.”

“One thousand…”

If that was possible, then she would make ten times more than she had thought she would. In that case, she’d be able to pay off her debt in seven years rather than sixty-six years. That would still take a long time, but it wasn’t too far into the future.

“Alright, I’ll do it! Wish me luck!”

Tifa lifted her head and drew the food stall. Suddenly, everything felt lighter.

※

"Now that I think about it, I can’t believe how hard I worked based on that.”

Tifa stared at Red XIII beside her. The crimson-colored beast was laying flat on the grass, his face turned away. On closer inspection, she noticed small tremors over his entire body.

“Hey, are you laughing at me?!”

“No,” he replied, but his voice was shaking too. “So did you manage to sell one thousand?”

“I’m not telling.”

※

The usual location for selling the Sector 8 Steamed Buns was furthest away from the front of the train station. After anchoring down the stall, preparations began. Uncle’s method of teaching was making her put things into practice.

First, he had her heat up the water for the steamer pot and bring to a boil. Then, she had to arrange the ingredients neatly on a plate for the customer to see. Heat up the pot with the minced meat on low heat to keep it constantly piping hot. Before the water for the steamer pot came to a boil, the buns needed to be placed in the steamer, and then she would get the wrapping paper ready.

"Work your way backwards, and make sure it's steaming by the time the store opens. Now go and stand over there."

Tifa held onto the handle and towed the food stall with her to where he had indicated.

“Take those gloves out of the drawer and put them on. The steamed buns will be piping hot.”

She found the gloves and put them on.

“Now [parchment] paper goes on your left hand with the steamed bun resting on top. Gotta hold on even if it burns. Secure it with your thumb. With the knife in your right hand, make a slit in-between to create a lid and plate for the filling, leaving the hinges so that the steamed bun doesn't fall apart. Got it? It’s gotta open and close like a clam shell. And don’t cut your fingers.”

Uncle spat out his explanations quickly as Tifa fumbled to do as she was told.

“Alright, looks like you cut it right. Now, lay out the split steamed bun on a lettuce leaf and ladle some minced meat on top. Ask your customer to pick out three different fillings of their choice. Load those in, bring the steamed bun closed by folding in the paper wrapping, and hand it to the customer. They might ask to buy two or three, but make only one at a time. Also, hand over only one steamed bun at a time. The customer’s the one who needs to get their container or bag ready for you. You don’t need to worry about anything except making the sales. Listen to orders, make the steamed bun, and then hand it to them. Hoo boy, that’s too much juice. Be careful. If you don’t get the balance right, the flavor will be too strong, and it’ll taste like a cheap knock-off.”

The steamed bun dripping with juice was completed.

“Have a taste.”

She took a bite, and then another. The sweet and spicy flavors exploded in her mouth. The vegetables had a nice crunch to them. It had a familiar taste.

“It’s delicious.”

“Tastes like hometown cooking, doesn’t it?”

“Yes. It’s my first time having this, but...you’re right, it does seem that way.”

“My ma came up with the recipe. No matter where you’re from, it’s a taste you’ll always miss. That’s some kind of magic.”

Uncle chuckled. Her impression of him may have changed from when they first met.

As preparations were completed a crowd of people gathered. Tifa pulled back. Aside from the one area in the slums, it seemed the rest didn’t have a working water supply. It was also apparent that most slum dwellers didn’t have a habit of cooking food at home, and dining out was the norm. Especially with people rushing during the mornings, fast food like the “Sector 8 Steamed Buns” were in great demand.

"Okay, this is it, Tifa. You're up first."

"Huh?"

The first customer dropped three coins into the bowl signaling the start of her first day.

“Go on. Take that paper to the steamed bun first. If there’s moisture on your hands, the paper will get sticky,” Uncle told her.

She rushed towards the steamed buns, grabbed a sheet of paper. A customer pointed to the ingredients of his choice: Bell peppers, nuts and celery. She almost reached for the bell peppers first, but remembered steamed buns came first and hurriedly grabbed one from the pile in the steamer.

“Ouch!”

Even with the gloves on, the steamed bun felt hot to the touch, and she accidentally dropped it.

“I’m so sorry!” she said. But the customer’s expression remained unchanged. His eyes were on the simmering pot.

“Paper to steamed bun. Knife, and slit open. Lettuce leaf, minced meat, fillings, close it up, then hand over,” murmured Uncle from the back. “But before that, take a deep breath.”

Tifa was startled by his words. That’s right. Breathing is important. She took a deep breath. Slowly and steadily—Inhale, then exhale. That drew the customer’s attention, and he watched her.

“Oh, excuse me!”

“Hang in there, Newcomer!” said the customer with a smile.

Tifa bowed deeply, and then grabbed a steamed bun, placing it rapidly on the paper. This was the start of her battle.

Business hours were from six-thirty in the morning until eight o’clock in the evening. Breaktime could be taken whenever there was less foot traffic, but the first two hours in the morning, the three hours after lunch, and the three hours at night until the store closed were the peak hours for sales. The first two hours of the first day were a disaster, but by the time lunch peaked, she'd gotten the hang of it.

Rhythm and breathing. That was what it was all about. Just like the Zangan School of Martial Arts. Creating a flow with her legs, hips and back, she moved her hands. It didn’t feel too bad, and there wasn’t any pain. They sold 88 in the morning and 120 in the afternoon. That gave her a sense of accomplishment. When it wasn’t peak hours, Tifa switched places with Uncle, and he took over sales.

There was a folding chair she could sit on, but there was no time to rest. She needed to keep an eye out for customers and determine how many steamed buns were needed. Not quite sure yet on what to do, she waited for instructions.

At two o’clock in the afternoon, Uncle offered her a steamed bun loaded with ingredients.

“Your lunch. The first two are free. Anything after that, I’m gonna have to charge you.”

Tifa was starving. Struggling against the heat, she quickly devoured the steamed bun.

She had her confused moments, but thought she was doing pretty well. Her body didn’t hurt either. Her chest, which had been troubling her, seemed okay. Even so, she couldn’t make it until the evening peak hours. Her legs were sore all over and felt like boulders. Her arms felt heavy too. It was the same feeling she had had after completing several volumes of the Book of Secrets.

It took Tifa so long to receive customers’ orders and hand it over that even she felt their frustration. She dropped, she spilled, and the list of mishaps kept growing and growing. Uncle, who couldn’t bear to stand by and watch, told her to switch places with him.

“It’s okay. I can do this.”

“No, it’s not. You keep messing up.”

It was exactly as he said. She moved aside, hanging her head in frustration and disappointment.

“You’ve got a nice set of muscles. Guess you lack stamina. Thought you’d be a great way to attract customers though.”

Uncle’s harsh words pierced her.

“Just go home for now. If you can come tomorrow, then come. If not, then we’ll leave it at that. Don’t have time to teach you everything.”

Shortly after returning to her container, Rakesh paid her a visit. He had gone to the food stall to give her moral support and got wind of the situation. She didn’t want to see anyone. All she wanted to do was to hide under the covers. But how could she do that to Rakesh? She couldn’t treat him that way.

“How are you feeling? Want my mom to see you?”

“I’m fine. The wound isn’t hurting. All I need is a good night’s rest.”

“Oh yeah? So you think you can continue? Uncle was worried about you.”

“I’m fine. I have to keep going.”

“Tifa, I’m sorry we couldn’t exempt you from your medical expenses. This has been tough for my mom too.”

“I don’t want it to be.”

“Yeah, you’re right. I’m glad to hear you say that. Here, I brought this for you. You can have it.”

It was Zangan’s Martial Arts Secret Handbook, Volume 2.

“I have it memorized already.” After leaving her with those words, he went home.

“I have it memorized too, you know.”

Without opening the book, she traced out the forms. No.2-1-1. The next form, No.2-1-2. Then, No.2-1-3. Her body moved of its own accord. Everything would be okay. Education was something that no one could take away from her.

She felt her spirits lifting, and it soon became clear to her why it was so difficult for her to move around earlier in the evening. The sudden, strong burden exerted on areas that were half-dormant must have been what caused her body to protest. From morning till noon, her nervousness had masked whatever it was that was wrong with her. When evening came and the nervousness had eased, the symptoms became more apparent. She was sure of it.

Once calm, she noticed the slightly sweet smell of broth that was coming from her. She could use a shower. Might be a good idea to wash her clothes too, but how? She needed a change of clothes. However, she drifted off to sleep without having done any of it.

The next morning, after a full night of sleep, she awoke feeling refreshed. It was still early, before the break of dawn. Slowly and tentatively, she stretched. Stretching out her muscles felt good. She hopped off the bed and did some light knee-bending. No problem there. An image suddenly popped in her head of the standing-on-one-leg pose from the exercise that Zangan had first demonstrated in the village square.

“Go on living until the day you die,” she spoke aloud. “Obviously!”

She felt lighter. Today, she might attempt to finish a whole day’s work.

No one else was in the vicinity of the shower area except Shower Guard. After paying the 3 gil to enter the container, she noticed the interior had changed. The far end of the fifth shower was concealed with a blue curtain. On the curtains, painted in yellow letters, was the word "LADIES". Surprised, she glanced outside the container and found Shower Guard smirking.

"If you wanna use the shower in the back, it's 4 gil."

"Whaaat?"

"Morning and night will cost 5 gil. You pay in full in the morning."

The proposal was tempting, and she understood how it worked. The rental fee was Shower Guard’s asking price.

“Alright. Then I’ll go back to get the money.”

“It’s dawn. Today’s on the house. Go ahead and freshen up.”

Continuing her second day of battle, she sold 400 steamed buns. But this food stall sold 1,000 before Tifa came into the picture. Uncle congratulated her on making it to the end of her shift, but he wasn’t happy with the sales.

“How well we do depends on how much is sold during the mornings, afternoons and evenings. The time combined is a total of 480 minutes, or 28,800 seconds. Selling only 400 buns means I took 72 seconds per bun. Over one whole minute. What do I need to change in order to be able to sell 1,000?” Tifa asked Uncle while trying hard to calculate. “28.8 seconds?”

“Just about. Since you’ll be selling outside of peak hours too, I’d say… you can make it if you can sell one every 30 seconds.”

“30 seconds…”

That shrunk the time down to less than a half of what it was. Would it be possible?

“You move around at a much slower, small town pace. Here in the big city, you gotta be quick. Just have to be. I bet you can sell 1,500 buns a day.”

One per every 20 seconds. Would she be able to keep up with that kind of work pace? The moment the question left her mouth, Uncle narrowed his eyes.

“We should grab more customers during non-peak hours. Listen, how do customers who come to our food stalls choose the day’s meal? Seven food stalls gather here: Sweet-and-spicy Nostalgic Sector 8 Steamed Buns, Tantalizingly Mild-Flavored Sector 5 Steamed Buns, Energizing Sector 6 Grill, Chic and Trendy Slum Sandwiches, Healing Veggie Soup, Hearty Oil Porridge, Togarashi Noodles for Newcomers. Sure customers have their preferences, but most will eat basically anything. As long as they come here they’re guaranteed to grab something to eat. So that’s not their criteria for choosing. Instead it’s the store that has the fastest turnaround. A store without a line is no good. One that has a line but is quick to serve wins,” he whispered to her in a hushed tone as if he was divulging a major secret.

She couldn’t help being drawn into it.

“However, all the stores know that, so they won’t slack off. So what determines it then? The vendor. It's the charm of the vendor that draws the customers. Do you know what your charm is?”

“My charm…”

“No need for humility. It’s that sweet face of yours! And I don't know if you're an adult or a child with that—” Uncle quickly sized her up from her feet to her face.

“Well, I don't know how that makes you feel—happy or disgusted—but whether you’re male or female, appearances matter in sales. And to prove it, notice how it didn’t matter how slow you were, you still kept getting customer after customer. So if you can cut down on the time you spend on each person, 1,500 isn’t out of reach.”

※

“In the end, I made up my mind to do it. A part of me didn’t want to for many reasons, but it was so much fun being able to sell all those steamed buns. I had to figure out a way to shave off a second or two, be creative in how I arranged the plates, and practice my knife skills. Like doing my exercises or martial arts. I think I'm good at those things because I’m quick to concentrate. And Uncle may have had a bad habit of choosing the wrong words, but he didn’t seem like such a bad guy. He judges people based on their work skills, which is a lot easier to understand. That’s what I liked about him.”

“I want to try one of those steamed buns,” said Red XIII, nearly salivating.

“It’s really tasty, but to this day... I still don’t know what meat they used in the simmered minced meat,” said Tifa with a shrug.

“Never mind. I think I’ll pass. So did you increase your sales after that?”

“Yeah, after about four months? A little before my sixteenth birthday. 1,003 buns. It made me feel accomplished.”

“I’m sure it did.”

“And then my birthday came. The first birthday where not a single person wished me a happy birthday. It felt a bit depressing, but I made new connections instead.”

※

The following week after her birthday, on a Wednesday which was closing day for the food stall, she visited Dr. Damini’s clinic for her monthly follow up.

First would be her exam, where there would be a simple medical consultation, followed by palpating over the graft site. Lastly they would take photos of the areas around her chest because she had been told that they were working on a new treatment, and many doctors and their staff would be looking over the photos. Even if her face wasn’t shown, it was difficult for her.

“Right now, the bruised areas will gradually assimilate to your natural skin color. It’s already assimilated much more than after the surgery. You notice it too, don’t you?”

It certainly did look that way.

“But…” Damini’s face clouded over. “Right here,”—Damini traced with her finger over Tifa’s upper abdomen—“this area might need another skin transplant. Possibly due to the reinforced metal underneath.”

“Is that so?”

“Maybe you can consider it in due time.”

“Hell no!” shouted a voice from the other side of the wall.

Tifa rushed to put on her clothes. There was a patient in the hospital room causing a disturbance. Damini let her know that her medical exam was over and left the room. After getting fully dressed and heading out of the clinic, she heard Rakesh call for her.

“Hey, Tifa! I need your help!”

“With?”

“There’s this patient that refuses to do the same skin grafting procedure that you did. I want you to talk to her since you’ve gone through it okay.”

“Are you sure I can do it?”

“It’ll be fine. Oh, but don’t tell her any details about how you ended up with that wound. She’s well-connected, so the message will get out quickly. Oh, and don’t mention your job either.”

“Why not?”

“Hmm. She’s from Sector 7. Don’t want you to interact with those folks too much. Come on, let’s go.”

She was still in a state of confusion as he led her to the hospital room. In the bed that she had slept on half a year ago was an old woman, laying face down, wearing a nightgown that was exposed at the back. Her wound was wrapped with gauze and blood had seeped through. Damini, who was standing beside the bed at her wit’s end, stared over at Tifa.

“This patient’s name is Marle. She ran into some bad luck. Got attacked by a monster,” introduced Rakesh in a mild tone. “Her back is seriously injured. We recommended that she do the skin grafting procedure, but…”

“Just stitch me up. Don’t try to attach any of that weird stuff to me!”

Her gaze pierced at them.

“In five years, it’ll become just another part of you,” said Damini. “This young lady here got the same procedure done half a year ago. Look. Here are the photos from the recovery process.”

Tifa sucked in her breath. Damini was showing Marle the printouts of her exposed chest.

“I don’t wanna see that! Get that outta my face!”

Damini put the photos away with a vague smile.

“Hey, Tifa!” shouted Rakesh. “You only felt pain in the beginning right?”

“Yes, only in the beginning.”

“No itchiness or discomfort, right?”

“Nope. None at all.” She clutched the leather cord around her wrist, suppressing her emotions.

“Enough with the shameless advertising!” cried Marle. “I want to talk to Tifa alone.”

Damini and Rakesh exchanged glances. After a while, Damini nodded.

“Alright. But please refrain from sharing personal information between patients.”

The two of them exited the hospital room, leaving behind the two women who had just met for the first time.

“What do they think women's breasts are?” spat out Marle. “I’m sorry. Because of all my grumbling, you had to go through something so humiliating.”

“It’s nothing.” But she was happy that there was someone there who understood her. “You took me by surprise though.”

“How’d you get hurt in the first place?”

“Umm, I think that might fall under personal info.”

“Alright, then whisper it to me.”

Marle smirked.

“I was attacked by a bad guy with a sword. I'm afraid I can't give you any details because they’re afraid their friends will find out.”

She thought that was a pretty good explanation.

“You don’t say… So you managed to escape? That's tough. So you’re not from the slums?”

“No, from the countryside.”

“Any family?”

“I have none.”

“That must be heartbreaking. How old are you?”

“Sixteen.”

“What do you do for a living? Do you work at Wall Market?”

She was vaguely aware of the poor reputation that place in Sector 6 had.

“I do not!”

“Judging by that tone of voice, you know what I'm talking about. A beautiful woman like you can make as much money as you want there. The stores that use you make dozens of times more money. You’ll be exploited and tossed out when they’re done with you. If you’re prepared for that then by all means go. But it’s not the kinda place you want to get swept up in.”

“I have no intentions of going there.”

“Could have fooled me.”

“That's not true.”

“You’re a bit of a pushover aren’t you? You tend to adapt to the moods of the people around you.”

She was right.

“I’m the same type of personality as you, so we understand each other. Luckily, I’m a good person—Ow, ow, ow!”

Marle suddenly cried out in pain.

“Are you okay?!”

“That’s what I get for lying.”

There was a knock at the door. After they responded, Rakesh entered the room.

“Are you in any pain?”

“Yeah, so hurry up and do the procedure on me. I want to have a new skin like Tifa’s.”

“Are you sure?!”

“Better hurry up before I change my mind. Oh, and Tifa? Come see me again. I don’t have any friends who’d come to visit me.”

Three month passed. On her days off she visited Marle at the clinic. Marle no longer tried to probe into her background. Instead, she taught her plenty of slum lessons. Marle herself managed some apartments in the Sector 7 slums, but was pressured by Shinra Company to relocate due to rezoning. While searching for new property, she got too close to the outer wall and was attacked by a monster.

“They told me not to go anywhere near the outside of the property and to stay in the middle. Guess I learned that lesson the hard way.”

There was a lot of talk like that: Adventure stories from when she was fifteen, tales from when she used to work at Wall Market, and the time she played a role in running the Neighborhood Watch. It was her way of comforting a lonely young girl on the run from her hometown, which made Tifa happy. Marle would not stop talking until either Rakesh or Damini warned her.

“Have you made any friends?” Marle would inquire about this whenever Tifa was getting ready to leave.

“Yes, I have.” Tifa would always tell her the same answer.

But that ended abruptly when Marle left the hospital.

“She was discharged early and said to say hi to you,” Rakesh told her. That was the last she heard from her.

She hoped that they might meet when Marle came for her follow-up visits, but her wish wasn’t fulfilled. Days of nothing but work began again.

After a full day of business and cleaning up the food stall, it was 8:30 pm. She grabbed something to eat for dinner on the way back to her container, and after finishing her meal, reviewed all the kata she could do by herself from the Book of Secrets. After taking a shower, there was nothing else to do. Even though she felt tired and relaxed after the nice workout, she had trouble falling asleep. Her mind began to be plagued with fragmented and incomplete memories.

It was still good when she thought of her hometown because even though it made her feel lonely, she felt it was her duty to remember the scenery, the days she spent there, the smiling faces of the people, and their anger over unreasonable things. On the other hand, when she thought about her future, she felt melancholy. It would be several years before she finished paying off her debt.

※

“After Marle was gone, my life became empty. Everyday was just selling steamed buns and smiles, wallowing in depression on days off, and going to pay off debt on payday. Right. I was steadily paying off my debt. When I sold 1,000 buns daily, I was able to pay off around 14,000 gil a month. However, I usually sold more than that, and since I didn't have too many living expenses, I was able to put some money aside.”

She even counted the money accumulated that she had stuffed inside a satchel and hid in her clothes bin.

“But it was still stressful. When I complained about it, Uncle just laughed and said we were like a squeaking part in the Midgar machine. But I didn’t find it funny at all.”

Red XIII let out a low growl. Perhaps out of sympathy for her.

“But, guess what? It became more lively when I turned seventeen.”

[rodeoxqueen]

Hi! For the 300 Lone Rangers event, perhaps I could request Nico and best friend Reader (G/N) being on a roadtrip in her very cool van and then reader just confesses? I don't see much love for her as there should be! Nico's amazing. ❤❤❤ And so are you, Rodeo. Congratulations on reaching this milestone. I've heard you're a bit burned out.. hope you're doing alright.🌟

Howdy, 

Due to personal cowboy experiences, I think I’m more than qualified to write this. And thank you for the congratulations. And yes, I’m a bit burned out. 

That’s Alright, 

Rodeo 

Heartline Driver, Front Seat Lover

Nico/Reader

Summary: At the end of a road trip begins a new path for you and Nico. But first, you have to turn on the ignition. 

Tags/Warnings: Swearing, Yearning, References To Richard Silken’s Poem “You Are Jeff,” Requited Love, Slow-Burn, Gender-Neutral S/O

You’re sitting in a van with a gorgeous girl. And you don’t know how to tell her that you love her, as she drives miles around your mind. You don’t know how to tell her that every time she touches your skin, your heart internally hits a speed bump, jumping to your throat and catching at the words you want to say. 

It feels like a crime to sit here next to her, an imposter of who you want to be to her. A crime to exist in her space, as her passenger, as her best friend. Are you lying to her? Or are you keeping yourself safe from charging yourself as an unrequited lover? 

Are you a fraud? Do you want to turn yourself in? Red handcuffs upon your soul, desires arrested? 

The road trip ended, and you are going to go home. And maybe once again, you will smother your love with your pillow and sleep with your yearnings as your sole company. 

Each raucous turn she makes, cutting corners of streets and screeching wheels, you feel your bravery accelerate past your threshold and fall just short. Each turn, you want to tell her. Each turn, you don’t. Nerves shot, you find yourself staring at her profile, freckled like the galaxy. 

She’s your fucking world and she is the stars, the ozone, and the space between that too. And you think that if you tell her, you’ll explode like the sun in the nearby future, a brilliant and devastating cascade of events. And everything will turn dark. 

How long do you want to wait for that to happen?

How long do you keep having to keep burning? 

You’re on the empty country road, and it is pitch black except for the van’s lights and the dinky metal street signs illuminating from said lights. 

“What are you thinking about?” She asked, elbowing you. You laugh and shift away from her, shrugging. 

“A lot.” She snorts, facing you with a smirk. 

“Thinking about a lot of h’wat?” She asks, pronouncing that last word in a way that always makes you giggle. It’s an empty sound today, your joy as you lay plagued thinking about what you’re going to say. 

“I think about a lot of things. Y’know. Stuff, things, events, people....” She ah’s in understanding. 

“Thinking bout me?” She teases. The joke flies over your head, and you answer truthfully. 

“Always.” 

“Of course you do.” She drawls. 

Your heart does the thing where it explodes again. A pot that pops the lid off, and then begrudgingly allows itself to be contained. 

You decide you don’t want to contain how you’ve been feeling tonight. 

“Nico. Can I tell you something?” She lights another cigarette while braking at the golden stoplight.  

“Mhm. Tell me anything.” She ignites a yellow flame by herself, and the sparks smolder quickly to that familiar smell of smoke. 

Your heart says green when the lights turn red. 

“I love you.” 

The lights turn green, yet your heart is stopped. 

“I mean, I love you too,” Nico says as a-matter-of-factly. 

“No. Not as best friends. I-I love you like, I love you, Nico.” You don’t know how to make it make sense if she doesn’t feel the same. 

“I know what you mean.”

She’s staring off into the road, driving a straight line back home. And you think you just sent yourself into a shallow grave, a ditch. 

She sighs, and you focus on the familiar pavement back to your place.  

You feel sick. You feel lightheaded. And the smoke from her cigarette is the funeral incense to the last time you can ever sit here again without feeling like you’ve been caught with an awful secret. 

Or maybe you’ve always felt like this, and it’s finally eating you alive. 

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that. I get it. You probably don’t feel the same.  If we can stay best friends after this, I mean-”

“I don’t want to be best friends after this.” You look at her and her glasses reflect your heartbreak. 

But she’s smiling. 

She shakes her head, the apples of her cheeks that earthy red color. She’s blushing.  

“I love you too.” She smudges her lit cancer stick into an ashtray haphazardly placed in the cupholder.

She takes your hand into hers and squeezes it. With a choked out sigh, you wipe nervous tears away. You laugh and you sob, and she is there in your duality. 

“You ain’t gotta cry about it.” 

“But it’s you.” 

“I ain’t gonna let you cry about lil old me.” She nudges you again. 

The two of you finally make it home, a journey of a lifetime having been taken. 

“You wanna go out?” Nico asks. 

You let out a breath of relief as if the heavy smoke within your own lungs has finally left you in the form of a “yes.”

“Then I guess we’re going out.” She cheekily says. You can’t stop looking at her. 

You’ve always been able to sit in the silence with Nico, as her best friend for all these years. And this is the first time, it’s different. It’s the same and it’s different. 

You’re still you, and she’s still who she is. And yet, you’re both new to each other. New to learning that you both burn for each other like the sparks from her tools.

And yet, it feels like this ambience is still the same as it used to be. The air around the two of you has relatively shifted, the same in a different place. 

Fuck thinking about it too hard. You’re living it. And it is euphoria.

Who in their right mind wants to stop and think about the best thing that’s currently happening to them?

You’re crazy, she’s crazy, you’re both crazy. But the two of you have half the mind to at least know that. 

You’re in a van with a gorgeous girl. The radio’s playing static but you can’t hear it. You feel it. 

The sun has exploded, and the galaxy takes you into her arms, and you are accepted as your core, your soul, is cracked open and exposed. 

You’re in a van with a gorgeous girl, and there’s no one and there’s everyone to watch the universe create a new solar system in your shared embrace. 

You kiss her where she sits, and she wraps her arms around you.

Nicoletta Goldstein is organized chaos and she is kissing you, this person of tumultuous methodology.

She tastes like nicotine cinders, sweet tea, and warmth. 

You’re in your girlfriend’s van and you’ve forever made yourself a passenger in her life. 

To Nico, you’ve been calling shotgun to her heart since the day she first saw you. 

And tonight, the stars are twice as many. 

[thelightofthingshopedfor]

Goddamn it Kyra I wasn't even interested in the Lego Lokis before, but now that you've so rudely posted pics of the options I'm probably going to have to buy some. So, couple questions: I'm not familiar with the website you linked to (it doesn't help that I'm on my phone lol) - do you get them from that site or just Aliexpress? I've kind of poked around there but I don't think I've ever actually bought anything - do you have links to those ones you bought or any tips for finding them on the site? (or like. using the site in general without getting scammed or something? Idk much about it other than stuff being low priced lol).

😇😇😇

putting the rest behind a cut because oops this got long

OKAY SO the cool thing about knockoff Lego figures is that a) there are a ton of them, so you can probably find multiple versions of most characters, and b) they're super cheap, so if you do end up getting ripped off, you're probably only out a few bucks. plus if you don't get ripped off, you feel like a genius, because authentic Lego minifigs tend to cost way more than they should (and if you get them online, you probably don't have a good way to know that they're authentic) and here you are getting something just as good or better for way less.

the site I was getting pictures from is HeroBloks, which I only just discovered myself a couple days ago; it looks like mostly it's good for tracking your collection (and learning more about bootleg Lego minifigs in general, maybe--I didn't really realize until now how many different companies there are making Lego-like minifigs) rather than buying, with individual pages including sale links that are only mildly useful. like, the extremely sad TVA Loki has an AliExpress search link that apparently just searches for "blocks," which is the least helpful search term imaginable; the eBay link uses "xinh+xh1745+loki (tva)" as the search term and that's definitely better, although it doesn't actually turn up anything. maybe that one's too new to be widely available yet, I don't know. (I hope that's the case. I need him and his sad little face to come and live with me.)

anyway--eBay is a possible source. searching for "loki minifigure" gets me results for several of the new ones I’ve been seeing, and they all seem to be shipping from Japan or South Korea. the problem is they're all selling for $4.99 plus $7.49 shipping each, which is...more than I want to spend on something I know is a knockoff of some kind when I don't know anything about the quality control and I'm not guaranteed to get what's in the picture. (here's another listing asking $40 total for all 8 figures I bought yesterday, which is actually a better price, and I'd probably end up doing that if I hadn't found them elsewhere, but that's because I have a problem.)

this is why I like AliExpress, because the risks are slightly higher but the prices tend to be much lower, even with shipping prices having gone up a bit over the last couple years. as I understand it, the site is basically just a huge marketplace for tons of different sellers in Asia, like if eBay only allowed fixed-price listings and it was based in China. the vast majority of the site reads like it went through Google Translate, because it probably did. you can find...basically anything there. I have no idea if any of it's authentic. (I also don't know anything about how or where any of the knockoff stuff is made, so...there is that.) I would not, for instance, drop $300 on a Hot Toys Loki from here, even though I absolutely would have the option to do so, for the obvious reason that I'm not going to risk that much money on an item that might be a cheap knockoff or could arrive broken. there is, in general, a solid possibility of breakable things arriving broken, because decent packaging costs more. cheap shipping will be slow (by which I mean like...up to 90 days), and most purchases either won't have tracking at all or won't have accurate tracking, so this is absolutely not a place to buy anything you want to get quickly. you also don't want to just buy something and forget about it, because there are (variable but generous) time limits past which you can't get a refund if you don't receive your items. the site's UI is...mostly functional. you often have to get a little creative with your search terms to find what you want (and sometimes you won’t find what you want through searching, but through looking at related items on the pages of things that aren’t quite what you want or are what you want but aren’t a good price). you will, absolutely, come across a lot of stolen art on things like pins, t-shirts, stickers, and phone cases, which you might not realize until you see something you recognize from a fanartist you like, and obviously that sucks. listing photos are nearly always stock photos, so in many cases they won't tell you anything about the item you're actually getting. you know the Wish app, and all the crazy things people get from that? you can find all the same stuff on AliExpress, at similar levels of quality.

however, if you approach it keeping all that in mind, it can be a great resource. I can't make any guarantees about the site's safety, but to the best of my knowledge it's secure and I've never had any weird charges show up after buying something. it's also my understanding that Alibaba, the parent company, is more or less the Chinese equivalent of Amazon in terms of the amount of business it does, which would probably be pretty tough if customer data were routinely being exposed to thieves, you know? I've also successfully gotten several refunds for items that never arrived, which actually hasn't happened all that often--but knowing that it can happen and that the return period expires, I’ll check back on the site if it seems like it’s been an unusually long time and I’ll make a reminder for myself of the deadline so I can contact the seller in time if necessary.

so the way I shop there is, I don't buy expensive or fragile things in general, because I recognize there's a nonzero chance I'll get a cheap knockoff, or something that was broken in transit because the seller tossed it in a box with no padding and called it good, or sometimes nothing at all. but like eBay, the sellers and items have ratings and reviews from customers, so that helps avoid some risk. items with lots of reviews tend to include at least a few customer photos, which are great for getting a better idea of what the thing you're buying actually looks like. I took a bit of a risk last year buying a Hot Toys (or the equivalent, I actually have no idea) Steve Rogers head for about $20, for instance, but I wasn't super worried about it because the customer photos looked good, the seller I used had a lot of sales and a lot of good ratings, and it was still a lot less than I would've paid for an authentic Hot Toys Steve Rogers head--and in fact he got here just fine and he looked fantastic. I also spent about $20 for a knockoff Iron Studios Loki statue, because in that case it was like...yep I’d love the real thing, nope I’m not willing to spend hundreds of dollars on it, yep I am willing to spend $20 on something that doesn’t look quite as nice but still looks good enough for me in the customer photos. well, and I’ve also bought knockoffs I knew would look bad, because they were cheap and I want all the Lokis and I have enough of an addiction that all the Lokis does in fact sometimes mean “even ones that look really bad” to me.

anyway, uh, Lego-type minifigs. this is an especially good area to go knockoff, because--okay, apparently I can’t link to a page of HeroBloks search results for some reason, but it’s the best resource I’ve found for this type of thing that isn’t just authentic Lego figures. but if you go there and do a search for “loki” you’ll get a bunch of results and you’ll see that they come from like...9 or 10 different brands. Lego specifically has only four Loki options: Avengers Loki in black, Avengers Loki in gray for some reason (which, frankly, looks like a cheap knockoff but isn’t), movie-inaccurate Ragnarok Loki with the blue outfit and the full helmet, an ugly Classic Loki, and a mostly green Loki from I guess the first Thor movie (and then I think they’re going to release a TVA Loki, a Sylvie, and a Throg). all those other results--all those different outfits from every single Loki appearance, and different variations on those outfits, nearly all of them more screen-accurate and/or detailed than the Lego versions--are technically knockoffs. they’re better and you can buy them for way less. (I mean, a lot of them are new so I don’t have them yet, but I do have frost giant Loki, better Ragnarok Loki, better Avengers Loki, opera Loki who actually has another face that’s half-Jotun, and at least one chrome-helmet option, and they all look basically like the photos. so I think I can reasonably expect most of the new ones to look basically like their photos too.) 

for reasons that I don’t understand aside from a vague guess that it’s copyright-related, AliExpress pretty much no longer shows full pictures of Lego-type figures in their listings--instead, you have to pick just based on the heads. this is a problem when lots of heads look very similar to each other! luckily, the listings also typically have the actual serial numbers for each figure, as do the HeroBloks listings, so you can cross-reference them to see what you’re really getting. for instance let’s take this listing because it’s cheap and it offers most of the Loki figures that are currently available. say you’re interested in one of the horn-less Lokis. there are...let’s see, five of them, but you have no idea what they actually look like aside from slightly different facial expressions and maybe weapons. however, the first one listed says XH1359 for its color...and what do you know, 1359 is the serial number for this Loki by a company called Xinh. okay cool, how about the last one? the “color” is listed as WM2182--and yes, HeroBloks has a listing for a Ragnarok Loki from World Minifigures with the serial number 2182. (I just ordered all 8 of the new World Minifigures ones yesterday, so again, I can’t personally guarantee yet that they’ll look as good in person as in the pictures--but I think they probably will, and more importantly they cost a whole dollar each.) and if HeroBloks doesn’t have a particular figure, you can probably find something useful just by googling the serial number.

I specifically bought from this listing yesterday because they currently have a bit of a sale going and a deal for free shipping if you buy 10 figures, and I wanted a couple duplicates, so it worked out to be the cheapest option. the same store has another listing for a bunch more Marvel characters, including a couple more Lokis I already had, so it should be pretty easy to get the free shipping so the figures are less than a dollar each and you’re only risking about $10. if you’d rather try one or two and see how it goes, it looks like this listing is probably the cheapest, with figures currently going for a little over a dollar each once you add shipping (although it’s totally possible shipping is more for me because Alaska).

that’s...probably already way more information than you really wanted, but I hope at least some of it makes sense. feel free to ask other specific questions if they come up--I might not be able to give answers exactly, but I can probably tell you what my experience has been, which is better than nothing.

[askwenjing]

✨(reblogs are appreciated!)✨

Help my boyfriend and I to pay my therapy bills!

The PayPal link is my boyfriend's account.

If you can't donate, it's fine! ❤️

I have been undergoing therapy for almost a month now with a few sessions. I don't have a job, and my family is against therapy because they do not think it's important. So I took this therapy in secret. My boyfriend is supporting me financially by paying the therapy fees but with his job that he just got like one or two months ago, paying the fees is affecting his finances negatively.

I had therapy sessions every week, and each hour I was charged of 300 Malaysian Ringgit (RM). Since my therapy sessions lasted between one to two hours, and it was every week, the fees are high and it places a financial strain on my boyfriend.

My boyfriend has talked to the therapist and she has extended the payment period and has set my therapy sessions to be held every 2 weeks instead.

I suggested my boyfriend to share the link to his PayPal account in hopes that we can get some help in paying the therapy fees. He is willing to make sacrifices to improve my wellbeing, and I am extremely grateful for that. I keep apologising for making his life hard, but he doesn't mind it. He says that he wants to protect me and he will do anything for it.

Right now, we have raised up to about RM218 and we really appreciate it! ❤️ My boyfriend was shocked to receive it. I know some people can't donate but we appreciate the love and support they give ❤️

Anyway, therapy has been going well for me. I have been making peace with my past and learning to appreciate my hardship. It is an eye opening experience for me. I am glad that the therapist is extremely thoughtful and generous. She also praises my boyfriend for being supportive.