#and honestly its... quite overwhelming haha

[ekinoksin]

🍂.

[lukesaprince]

Honestly i could write a lot more but it would probably become unbearable haha

“Then I want to strip you naked and watch you bounce on my cock. Forwards… backwards.” (I fucking love it when you use italics)

You nodded eagerly, loving the sound of all of it. “Uhuh. All of it…” you inhaled a sharp breath, loving the feeling of his hands moving to knead at your inner thighs, “There is one thing though. Something I want.”(inlove when they tell each other the things they want before doing it)

Then he did something unexpected. With a shit-eating grin on his face he pulled up the chair he kicked away earlier and sat on it, shuffling close to the table like he was getting ready to eat a three-course meal. You were going to make fun of him for it, but you didn’t really get a chance when he slung your legs over his shoulder and nuzzled his nose right into the crotch of your underwear. (Speechless.id love to see more banter between them)

“Hey. Look at me.” He nudged, not happy with your lack of response.(okay daddy! Although maybe they dobt have a dom sub daddy dynamic maybe once she lets it slip and they play it out for once to experiment and jtd be hot as an experiment cuz shes calling smn younger than her daddy yk?)-(obviosly im not trying to tell you how to write your story clearly i love it just the way you’re writing it its just that im getting carried away haha its too good so im sorry for that!)

“Y/n, I’d worship you and this pretty pussy”-(oh yeah.i like the concept of respecting and worshipping going on in this story.it is what is drawing me to the story most.)

“Oh, you’re such a good little slut letting me spank you like this. Right over your little clit too, hm? Who knew such a pretty girl would like such dirty things.”(sorry he has the best of the best dirty talk game)

This chemistry with you… it was otherworldly. Supernatural almost. A compelling pull like his cells were trying to fuse with yours. (Insane writing babe you’re on a roll)

Harry didn’t quite realise when you said you liked dirty talk that you liked it both ways, but he rather enjoyed the filth spilling from your mouth. He found it cute that you could barely string words together when he was pleasuring you, but like this? It was the biggest fucking turn-on.(two sided dirty talk is thee best)

Sorry some of the details in the smut i just want to point that had me fainting but its going to get too awkward for me and you that way honestly ik you will think im exaggerating but this is some of the best smut (top 3 id say )ive ever read in both the fanfic and romance book world and trust me ive read a lot of that.

“Say it, baby. Tell me how I’m doing, hm?”(oh the guts on this man to be this hot)

You were slightly shaky in his arms, sensitive as he placed you gently on the floor in front of his bed. He broke the kiss to look at you for a moment, panting heavily while brushing his nose against yours. There was something about the look in his eyes that had you crumbling inside. They were soft and almost loving; so full of yearning and desire that you were almost scared to look back. It was overwhelming.(this bit made me cry. We all deserve dirty gentle loving looks and want and longing and romance and sex)

Honestly i could comment on every single sentence of this piece of smut cuz it has so many layers to it but ill spare you haha

“You’re a vision.”

“So are you.” (We all deserve love and romance that loves us back as much if not more)

Because it wasn’t just the pleasure. It was the chemistry. The eye contact. The fact you two had a laugh about him thrusting against your ass cheek instead of inside of you because his table couldn’t handle the pressure. The way you could have that laugh just minutes ago and be back to this. The firey eye contact and his trembling thighs underneath your palms. (Cant tell you how much i love imperfect sex.and even more to read about it)

Coming down was all open-mouthed kisses and laboured breaths and this distinct feeling that everything had changed. You two could never go back to casual and you most certainly couldn't look at yourself or your husband the same way ever again.(just wow writing.just wow.)

Honestly you not olny outdid yourself but you outdid alot of writing standards with this.like wow.stunning piece.The type of shit id read and swoon over if it was a romance book and harry wasnt even a character in it.

And you wrote such an endearing romance.the respect,the love already blooming,so gentle,so considerate,so much passion.we all deserve it.thank you for this piece.this masterpiece.truly.thank you.

(Pls excuse all my mistakes I was rushing to get my thoughts out as soon as I read a paragraph )

1. I LOVE ITALICS!!! IM AN ITALICS LOVER ILL ALWAYS USE THEM!! I feel like it conveys tone so much better and you can read each paragraph better knowing what's been emphasised.

2. I'll def include some more banter between them because I love them and the way they interact so much!!!

3. (okay daddy! Although maybe they dobt have a dom sub daddy dynamic maybe once she lets it slip and they play it out for once to experiment and jtd be hot as an experiment cuz shes calling smn younger than her daddy yk?) REAL!! He definitely takes a natural dominant position in the dynamic because it's what they both like! I'm sure a daddy kink will come up at some point you know I'm a sucker for it and he for sure will give her a little bit of teasing because he's younger. Like just imagine the dirty talk 🤭

4. you're so right about everyone deserving soft loving looks during sex because I think it's so important! imperfect sex is fun to write too because it does happen and more often than not something will happen. Sex isn't choreographed so I'm so happy you liked those bits of the smut! (and the dirty talk hehe it's my fav to write)

[this is some of the best smut (top 3 id say )ive ever read in both the fanfic and romance book world and trust me ive read a lot of that.

Honestly you not olny outdid yourself but you outdid alot of writing standards with this.like wow.stunning piece.

And you wrote such an endearing romance.the respect,the love already blooming,so gentle,so considerate,so much passion.we all deserve it.] - these comments honestly have me screaming like genuinely thank you so much idk what else to say 😭 I have so much self-doubt when writing it's crazy so hearing such nice compliments and such extensive feedback means the world I'm so appreciative 🙏

thank you so much for reading my work and writing this and I you enjoy what I post next 😭 ❤️

[literatureloverx]

For now, I'll go with a more simple question.

What do you personally love studying about art history?

I apologize if that sounded a bit too blunt. I find it fascinating to examine and analyze history through the eyes of artists who had lived and witnessed everything during those periods. They speak to us at the same level as the historical records and books, perhaps more sometimes. I would like to ask you to tell us a little bit about your own thoughts. What made you pursue art history? How did it click in your head that it was the right path for you? 🦭🤍

Also, it's kind of off-topic, but I wonder how people will remember us in the future (if humanity survives that long) and what they will deem of us, especially now that there is an overwhelming minimalism in almost EVERYTHING. I'm not even going to talk about AI; it's a disaster. Progress in technology is good and all, but I hope AI dies quickly. It's not ethical. And I don't think we, as humanity, have the virtue to handle such power wisely. I'm afraid it will cause a lot of harm.

And yet, despite everything I said, I think there are a lot of talented artists out there. Besides, they have more freedom in comparison to the past. The bad thing is that they are either not given the right opportunities to thrive, they put their passions aside to gain better money (people are getting increasingly poorer every day in most countries 🫤), or their families pressure them to choose other career paths. It makes me so upset that there are still some people who do not realize the importance of art to humankind. It's not merely a form of self-expression or simply a way of entertainment. It is the very proof of our existence. If we ever go extinct, what's left of us will remain behind for a long time here.

So, um, anyway—Have a nice day, and I hope you take this weekend to rest & boost your body and mind for the new week 🩷

Do you know what I particularly love about your asks, Berry? That slight awkwardness that sometimes appears in your messages, haha. It is honestly so cute.♥️

What do I love about studying art history? I like the arts in general, but I was not interested in studying them in a more practical sense, which is why I did not want to study art alone. I am also very interested in history, as you already know since we have had this conversation before, haha.

I never decided that it was “my path” or anything; I originally wanted to study something else. However, some situational complications arose, and I would have had to wait two whole years without doing practically anything, which I disliked. So, I enrolled in art history, and that is pretty much the whole story behind it. I also considered philosophy, but art history is definitely easier to pursue with less effort (Berry… you do not know how lazy I can be).

But what do I actually love about art history? I enjoy analysing things in general… a lot. Through art history, I get to explore the evolution of art, connecting with the emotions, thoughts, and cultures that have shaped civilisations. It gives me a profound sense of continuity with those who came before us, creating an emotional bridge between past and present. I think that art speaks directly to the essence of human nature, offering insight into the fears, joys, dreams, and struggles of its creators. I also think that it is a way to understand the complexity of the human soul and how it transcends time and place.

That said, when I visit museums to study specific aspects (which you need to do quite often as an art history student), I cannot help but feel overwhelmed by the emotions evoked by certain paintings. I do not experience this with architecture or sculpture, though. In addition, I have an obsession with beauty in general, so it all seems to connect. I also enjoy spotting patterns and making connections with my own rather wild theories by analysing art pieces, haha.

My take is that humanity will likely survive, but nothing will be as it was before. I suppose it would be more accurate to call it a transformation rather than survival, haha. Looking back through history, it is clear that humanity has always evolved in one way or another, for better or worse, and nothing has ever remained the same. Future generations will likely see us the way we see people from past eras now (I think?😭).

I do not wish to sound like a pessimist, but look at history—when has humanity ever possessed great power without abusing it? I do not know if it will cause harm, but I see it becoming the “norm” rather than a controversy in the near future.

That said, unfortunately (acting as if ChatGPT is not my best friend at this point, haha), I do not think AI will die. Or at least, if it does, something AI-like will simply take its place.

Why do you consider it unethical, if you do not mind me asking? If you are referring to AI-generated art, I absolutely agree. Besides, I do not see the point of it. It would make far more sense to use AI for tasks humans do not enjoy and let people create their own artworks. I am not sure what purpose it is supposed to serve.

I agree with your take on minimalism because that is not my vibe either. I do not see why anything needs to look/be so soulless.

I understand where you are coming from. Perhaps we should… take over the world? Not that anyone else is doing a better job than we could, haha.♥️

(Also, the seal emoji??!! 😭 That is so cute!!! I take it as a quiet acceptance of your nickname, my baby seal.♥️)

[definegodliness]

Hi hi. I hope this finds you well. Haha.

Your work is fucking riveting. Just the perfect amount of Perplexing, relatable and You.

I keep wondering, given you mentioned you didn't ever expect or perhaps want, to get into writing how did writing find you and how is your experience. Writing. What does that feel like for you?

And your writing voice. Its so eloquent so... artful..is that something you cultivated or was that simply a natural happening.

Personally I find nyself very disconnected from my work and the experience when i try to actively cultivate or "play around" with technique and prose etc. I naturally have a keeness to word play of sound and feel. Cadence. But the eloquence of your word choice is beauteus. Its something I would love to see in my own work im not quite sure though how to approach that goal whilst staying connected and thoroughly immersed in my experience when writing.

Hello there, Anon,

Thank you for your glowing, upbeat words. They have found me very well today, and I will cherish them. I did not expect to get into writing, because as a young adult my aim was to be successful in a rather narrow- corporate-minded way. I aimed for a job that paid well. So, writing absolutely did not fit my ego-fueled ambitions. A simpleton I was, but fortunately I can blame my inexperience in doing this living thing. I have always been a logophile. A word sponge. I care not for archaism or rarity, what matters is descriptiveness. When I find a word that is oddly particular, specialist, and above all precise, I experience a sense of elation. Even more when I finally get to use such a word. I guess you could say I favor precise communication over clear communication. Ironically, this is instigated by an innate longing to communicate clearly; as to achieve the purest possible connection, with as little as possible noise on the line between sender and receiver.

So, even when I had abandoned my love (for writing) to climb the corporate ladder, she has always kept seducing me, and has always remained part of me. Life, since then, has been slicing away at me. On the one hand, unfortunately, because life would be so much easier if I still had the same ambitions as then, but on the other hand I feel fortunate to have been chipped away, and ongoingly ever closer, to my core-self. Now, I can honestly say The Writer is a core-part. A part of me that blew up when I met my first love.

Without consciously setting out to write poetry, in hindsight, I wrote poem after poem for that girl. Of course, back then, it felt like simply sharing my heart with her. And it was such an overwhelming outpour of love, that, when she was not near, I had to canalize it through writing.

When she shattered my heart, it was very much the same. I developed scribomania, and for years I could not go without writing without suffocating. I always say writing helped me to learn to breathe underwater. However, it was more than catharsis. Prose turned to poetry, and I fell in love with this art form. Aside from getting emotions out, I also soaked in every bit to do with the craft. In that, poetry has given me a sense of purpose. What I love most is that you're never done learning, and therein you are never done evolving as a poet.

Curiosity is key. Reading-wise, when I like a poem, I am always keen to learn the whys. Then, try my hand at it. So I tried a lot of different styles, and when I finally wrote a satisfactory poem in that style, I went back to my own. Still incorporating the things I have learned. I have tried (nigh) every type of fixed verse similarly. Yes, sometimes fixed verse feels mechanical. But when I reread old work I do see my, then subconscious, emotions resurface. It may feel as if you are more disconnected than when writing free verse, but I assure you you are not. The set boundaries of fixed verse should not be seen as shackles, but as a lens; you utilize it to create a focal point.

Still, if you are truly averse to fixed verse, it has been mostly beneficial to me, because counting syllables, utilizing meter, and searching perfect rhymes has often sent me to my thesaurus and dictionary. It helps to hone your inborn skills, like lyricism and cadence. I do think my writing voice is natural, and that any writing voice is — I have never searched for it, doubted, or questioned it — but I also have cultivated it, longing to make it resound as clear as can be.

I think it's great you are confident in your own writing voice. That you know your strengths, and can play around with them. Never let anyone take that away from you. Never be hesitant, worried, or ashamed to write what you feel, need, or just plain simply want to write. Like I said, I love poetry because you can continuously keep evolving, and even if you feel a poem turned out subpar, or bad, or great for you but it turns out nobody else likes it, it is always a step in your evolution. There are many roads that lead to Rome. I now shared a glimpse of my path. But if you stay curious and just keep doing what you love, you will always get where you want to be.

Long answer, but I haven't written for a week, and I guess I am still a bit scribomanic. Your message offered a welcome distraction, and reason to pick up the pen.

For which you have my thanks,

Best wishes,

Mark

[pynkhues]

If you're gravitating toward books by Asian women writers right now, then I've heard that by Dead-End Memories (short stories) by Banana Yoshimoto is amazing. I really enjoyed Yellowface by R.F. Kuang.

(x)

I have been, I think, anon, which I didn't even realise until replying to that ask, haha. I've been meaning to check out Banana Yoshimoto's stuff, as I haven't actually read any of her at all, which feels a little embarrassing! I have a copy of Kitchen, so I should start there, but the rec for Dead-End Memories is going high on the list too, especially as I like to have either a poetry or short story collection on the go with long-form books.

I actually read Yellowface by R.F. Kuang last year, and I did enjoy it, but I had a lot of issues with it too? It didn't quite deliver in the ways that I think it wanted to, and the last act veered a little off the rails for me? There was still a lot that I liked about it though too!

But yes! Asian women authors! I mentioned in that other post, but Alice Pung is really up there for me. I read One Hundred Days which I loved this year, but her YA novel, Laurinda is a really great and good read for anyone into YA novels about race, class and fucked-up girlhood, and her memoir, Her Father's Daughter, which is about her relationship with her Cambodian refugee father, and navigating his trauma as a child and really realising it as a young woman, is probably one of my favourite memoirs in recent memory?

In terms of other authors, I only actually read Amy Tan's The Joy Luck Club for the first time about five years ago, which is a bit nuts, but it honestly lives rent-free in my head. It's such a beautiful read, and also really representative of the mosaic novel at its finest. Since then, I've read her The Hundred Secret Senses and The Valley of Amazement, which I really loved too, and am slowly accumulating her back catalogue. I've also been reading a lot of Ruth Ozeki - I think A Tale for the Time Being is maybe one of my favourite books of the 21st Century, and Eileen Chang's Lust, Caution and The Golden Cangue which were both excellent too.

More locally (as in, Australian, haha), I really enjoyed Rebecca Lim's The Astrologer's Daughter, Shastra Deo's poetry collection, The Agonist, and two short story collections - Julie Koh's Portable Curiosities and Elizabeth Tan's Smart Ovens for Lonely People. I feel so overwhelmed sometimes with how talented women are, haha.

[curiouslycaffeinatedcephalopod]

entry 03

do not be afraid to use technology if using paper based methods of note taking, planning and scheduling and journaling.

when i first started my research project i was afraid of using only applications and software such as Notion, drives for storage, Microsoft Word AI grammar assistance etc. I was afraid because i was told (and anxious about it myself) that i could lose my data and information if i didn't have a backup on paper.

this resulted in me not quite meeting my weekly deadlines with tasks and goals because i was spending time "backing up" all my data, planning, schedules, meeting notes, everything.

Whilst i definitely agree with others that you should have a back up, a lot of these applications and software are so well developed and have really well functioning servers, there is such a minimal chance of just losing everything. it would be more logical to make back ups on other storage platforms/drives than keeping everything in paper AS WELL. this is so time consuming and sends you in a panic every time you need to upload data, write notes, prepare documents, edit documents, review data and leaves you with notes you made hastily (and anxiously) which often times never even helped me as the notes were illegible because i was in such a rush.

of course, a paper based method for laboratory notes is a good idea as devices are not recommended in the labs if you're working with biological matter/chemical substances - pencil down your notes and then you can go home if you have the time and the need to write it onto a notion page or type up a document so that you can review the protocol and how you performed during and the outcomes, any changes you may need to make etc.

you can use notion for your research scheduling and planning and just keep a very simple bullet journal/notebook for day to day notations and planning. i had been told to make sure i have a paper based record of everything i wrote on my notion but i think you can keep an abbreviated version and rather keep a copy pasted document of this and/or screenshots and store that across multiple drives (or one if you're not an anxious academic like me, haha).

if anyone tells you how you should do something so intricately personal to each student/researcher because they do not like the interface you use (yes, i was told i should not use the one thing that has worked for me because it was too difficult for the other party to understand or review), it is obviously nice and kind to try and provide things a format they understand, but do not stop doing the thing you enjoy and that actually helps you reach your goals.

context for number 3:

i found notion through various content creators in the research realm, with mixed recommendations ranging from yes it works well to no not for me. i struggle with planning and procrastinating and academic challenges so i decided to give it a go. honestly, the fact that it was aesthetically customisable was a big plus. that is just simply something that makes me want to work. the next thing was its cross compatibility with other apps and software i used, primarily google. it helped me keep track of upcoming meetings, events and urgent tasks and provided a way for me to visually see my progress. but someone i was wokring with, whose opinion mattered very much to me, had mentioned that they were not a fan and that they did not have the time to use the interface, even though the interface was not our primary mode of communication regarding my research project, it was simply a way for them to see how i was spending my time or planning to as a student of theirs. needless to say, i gave up because their way took way too much time already. it is not a problem or a topic that requires someone to blame, i just was in the midst of an already overwhelming time in my project and had to just do what i needed to survive (lol).

anyways, the lesson i learnt was, after falling a couple months behind because of poor planning and compatibility with how i was going about my most important component of my research was that you really need to prioritise the thing that works for you. whether that is paper based or digital.

but you cannot spend every moment fearing that notion will drop off the face of the earth with all your notes and plans along with it. i wasted so much time stressing and creating paper and digital back ups of EVERYTHING. i have now had to spend essentially a month organising things across multiple emails and drives just to get a start on my next big project. the most important lesson will definitely be that you need to train and teach yourself to know what are things that require a back...

you do not need 17 backups, paper and digital of plans passed and plans to come, you will quickly be reminded or be able to recall most such things as they will stress you out and haunt you so much anyways.

however you certainly do need a sufficient back up of data that belongs to the university as part of your project, or any personal methods of tracking such things.

anyways, sorry for the long rambles i post, i am using tumblr as a way to have a blog until i can actually get a website and publish better and more concise posts. i hope you still enjoy reading or at least find some solace or advice in between it all!

[sevensdeadly-if]

i just finished reading your demo (i chose the fenrir and aster route—they already have my entire mind, body, and soul), and i really enjoyed it!!!

i loved seeing the characters interact with each other, especially the sins. i’m excited to see more from the sins who haven’t had as much time in the spotlight yet. i also really like how greed and pride (whose names i have regretfully forgotten) feel like parental figures to the MC—they both bring a comforting presence, especially greed.

i noticed that the MC seems to pass out quite often. i was wondering if that might be connected to their body being overwhelmed by memories coming back, rather than just the pure shock of everything happening around them. i could understand them fainting the first time—maybe even the second time—but it's happened several times now. i thought perhaps there might be a deeper connection, like a reaction to recovering their memories and powers. the MC also seems to come with a preset personality—being pretty extroverted and having a sailor’s mouth. usually, the MCs i play are more quietly confident, reserved, and a bit introverted, so this is a little out of my comfort zone, though it’s not necessarily a bad thing.

the fae court members are all really interesting, especially the monarch of autumn—was that their title? i apologize if it seems odd that i’m not using their name; i have a regrettably bad memory, especially with names. they’re the one side character i would’ve loved to see as a RO. i have to admit, their power to change their appearance at will is something i’m a bit envious of as a gender-fluid individual myself, haha.

i also wonder who the apparent antagonist’s love is. it would be quite intriguing if they were referring to the MC. the potential for delicious angst and drama from that is endless.

all that to say, i can’t wait to see where you take this story—it’s already so interesting. i’m eager for the contracts to be completed with each of the sins and for the MC to regain their full memories and powers; i’m sure those will be epic scenes. i’m also excited to see how the romances develop. as i mentioned before, i already love aster and fenrir wholeheartedly. it’ll be heartwarming to see them and the MC in an official relationship in the future. i wonder what that will look like.

much love & light, author. may your love of writing never wane & your inspiration never cease to flow. <3

Thank you so much! I’m glad you’re enjoying it! And as I’ve been writing the mc’s personality has honestly just started to form on its own! And you were close! Morrigan’s title is trickster of autumn or fall either works! I hope you enjoy the rest to come!

[robosuta]

hi!! how are you? how was/is your day?? i haven't seen you on my dash (fyp?? feed? idk what's the right word) for a while so. if you don't want to answer its ok!! just hope you're having a nice day and if not then i hope it gets better

Hiiiii! Thank you so much for asking !! I am fine thank you ���� I'm touched you remembered my blog haha. I had quite a busy summer to say the least and honestly I struggle with answering messages. I just get so overwhelmed and do nothing LMAO and on top of that I forget they even exist 😭💀 but honestly I miss being on here and I want to get back into interacting with you guys 🥹🥹🥹 It's going to be a bit difficult lol but you guys are so worth it! 🥹🥹 and how about you? I hope you've been having a great day as well! and if not I hope it gets better! ٩(•̤̀ᵕ•̤́) mine has certainly got better once I read your message ⸂⸂⸜(രᴗര๑)⸝⸃⸃

[hannahbarberra162]

thank you so much for responding to me twice now!! im sorry im sending these in so frequently, I dont know how tumblr works but i hope that, even if you dont post a reply to this, (which btw you NEVER have to, please dont feel obligated), i honestly only want you to read the ask. (even then its okay if you dont lol), im a bit overenthusiastic about your work, if you couldn't tell haha 😓 (not that it doesn't deserve all the enthusiasm in the world!!- I just know I can ramble when something excites me.)  I'll try to space out my asks more as to not overwhelm you or anything. i  honesty would love to read whatever you have to offer, even if it's just posting little snippets. I feel bad requesting stuff, though, from what I've read you're probably a busy college student with enough on your plate! still, without making any specific requests, whatever you have to offer, ill eat up like it's my last meal!! id love to see your works on other chatacters! i honestly didn't even really care heavily for mihawk or shanks but you know damn well i ate up your works on them! and like i said, i dont even really know Marco besides your interpretation, (which are canon in my mind haha) and literally had to look up who thatch was. yet i STILL have enjoyed your writings with them to the point ive been up late wondering what happens next. whatever you write, ill enjoy! you just have such incredibly intriguing stories, i honestly have never been so hooked before. thank you so much for writing! i guessed that either Marco or Ace was your favorite, so im glad i was close with Ace! i had the same sort of question as i did with Marco, but I didn't wanna ask both in one message. kinda a 'why him', sorta thing, not that i dont get this one completely- ive seen him in action and i love ace too! But i wanna hear why YOU love him, how YOU see him, same as what i asked for Marco. you don't have to answer if you dont want to! i know ive already typed a lot, so ill cut myself off here!! thank you my goat!! 🐐 and thank you for my appreciation of the WBP!!

(I've also really enjoyed your jinbe work so far!! he's one of my favorites🌊)

@celine-zzz Don't be sorry!!! This made my day, my week, my month! I lose confidence a lot and reading things like this make me think it's worth it. Thank you so so so much for your praise!!!! I actually screenshot nice asks like these and reread them haha. Ask whatever you want!! I like interacting with other people!!! Talk to me all you want!!!

I don't mind getting requests, I just don't ask for them bc I don't know that I can fulfill what people want. But I'm always happy to try! Heat Transfer is actually based off a Nonnie ask and I spiraled from there.

And, ah, I'm quite a few years past my college days 🫠🫠🫠 I'm not sure if that's better or worse, but time comes for us all.

In truth I started writing characters I felt I had a better handle on. I find Ace to be the most relatable. I think he's the most like someone you could potentially meet, maybe other than Law. Someone who is confident and self loathing and insecure and smart and dumb and self assured and all of that wrapped in a cute bundle with freckles. I also find Ace easy to write because I do feel that I've met people like him in real life, so I think of the dumb shit they would do lol. He reminds me a lot of a few of my friends, maybe that's why I feel protective over him.

That isn't a very good answer, but in summary he's my bby and I want the best for him <3.

Jinbe is who I'd actually want to ship myself with (see self indulgent fic) and I'd most want to be friends with and spend the day with Usopp.

[imaginespazzi]

Best bestie, its been too long! I hope that vaca was phenomenal and that the return is treating you ok. What was your highlight? (I wouldve messaged sooner but work is ramping up here. Plus I felt like the timing wasnt good right before you left/while you were gone/when you just got back)

Guess I'll begin w some old & random asides by voicing my full agreement with you that matcha and Colleen Hoover books are both truly awful things. I feel so strongly about this I just couldnt not share haha.

WBB: Results in the W continue to be a little weird here and there huh, keeping things interesting. Ngl the Mystics recent winning run has been bittersweet for me.. but in fairness at this point Im not sure how out tank the Sparks even if you wanted to. Honestly I just the hate inconsistency tho (injuries aside). And hate to see the rash or recent SEIs. Heres hoping Betnijah is ok!! Another wcbb player in headlines for really bad stuff, sigh, but Im never gonna comment on something still in a legal process.

Not sure Ive commented over the past couple chapters, but GH/fic never fails to be well done!

Lastly, ending on a high note - an overwhelming amount of recent Pazzi content! What can really be said? Its just made me smile to see two people in love out enjoying a bunch of special events/memories together. Especially considering this is prob the last typical student summer for them as a pair.

-☕️

BESTI HI :)

It's been so long, I missed you <3

Listen I'm like a huge foodie so the highlight was definitely having gelato every day lmao

THANK YOU! So sorry to my Matcha girlies but I cannot stand the drink at all. And if you're a CoHo girlie, well yeah no I'm not apologizing for that one, she sucks, her books suck and Azzi and Paige please let me save you!

The W has been so unpredictable which has been both entertaining but also slightly unnerving. But yes I agree the Mystics have been quite bittersweet. On one hand I do love seeing Aaliyah happy but what about the agenda Mike? WHAT ABOUT THE AGENDA? What was the point of all of the struggling in the beginning if we don't even get the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow (who am I kidding Paige is the rainbow).

Ah yes that headline is the worst yet and the article have been confusing to say the least but I just hope justice is served.

The Pazzi content has just been unbelievable. I still feel like I'm in a dream with everything we've gotten but I'm just so happy for the. Just being themselves, making all these connections, going to big events and just having the time of their lives, no one deserves it more.

[missoblaine]

Tag Game!

Yay tag game! I was tagged by @evaofkonoha and I am tagging @shameless-fujoshi to do this (if you want to haha).

Are you named after anyone?

Nope! I like my name though 😊

What sports have you played?

If dancing counts as a sport then I danced for about fifteen years quite intensely! Otherwise, no. I dislike sports so much actually 😣 I used to pretend to be sick to get out of PE at school. I don't like the physicality and conflict and outside-ness of many sports. I am a squishy little indoors person!

Do you use sarcasm?

Yes! It is why writing in Sasuke's voice is easier for me than writing in Naruto's.

What is the first thing you notice about people?

Hmm, I don't meet new people often actually. I think in general, I am not very good at reading people and it takes me a while to properly make friends. I think both online and IRL, I notice someone's way of speaking/writing/communicating. Their tone and voice and word choice etc.

What's your eye colour?

Very dark brown.

Scary movies or happy endings?

I can't do scary movies eeek. Thrillers, I can do, and I enjoy watching people play scary games sometimes, but horror is too much for me. In general movies are kind of overwhelming for me, I don't watch many of them!

So by default, I guess I like happy endings? I do think for me to enjoy them they have to be purposeful and earned (not necessarily by the characters but by the story).

Any talent?

Writing! While it has ebbed and flowed in its presence over the course of my life, it has always been with me in some form and I am proud of how I have grown with it, especially in the last two years. I am a pretty fast reader as well so I guess that's another one?

What are your hobbies?

Writing, reading, board games, and occasionally crafting things (sewing, crochet, painting miniatures).

Do you have any pets?

My partner has a dog!

How tall are you?

155cm. I am pretty short lol.

Dream job?

I am honestly quite happy with my current job (board game adjacent, relatively not stressful, lets me play with spreadsheets lol). I think my dream job is just not working tbh or doing something just mentally stimulating enough but not stressful and getting paid well for it! 😅 Isn't that the dream?

I will say, I wouldn't want to do any of the creative hobbies I love dearly, especially writing, as a job as I strongly believe it would ruin my love for them.

My answer to this particular question got very long so the rest is under the cut if you are interested in my thoughts. Otherwise, if this is your off ramp - thank you for reading and thank you to @evaofkonoha again for tagging me 🥰

rambling (a.k.a. why i don't want to write as a job)

Even if I worked for myself and got to create the things I wanted, I don't believe I would enjoy it, perhaps simply because it would be a job and it would become something I had to do instead of chose to do. I also believe that whatever I created wouldn't feel truly mine. I think part of the joy of a hobby is getting to do it whenever, however, whyever you want - I value that freedom highly.

For example, if I were to write a novel, even if I wrote it for myself, I would need to, eventually, pitch it to agents/publishers etc and it would always be in the back of my mind that 'this needs to be something that an agent/publisher believes would sell'. Even if I wrote it exactly as I wanted, perhaps someone further down the publishing line would ask for changes to improve its commercial value because, hey, they have to make money too, no? (And perhaps this view is jaded from working in a retail/sales environment for a couple years but if anything, I am even more sure of it now.)

From my time in uni studying creative writing (in which we got some experience pitching short pieces/essays to journals/student publications), I saw the level of ambition needed to succeed in a career like this and I just…don't want that kind of stress to be tied to my finances and living situation. I don't want my ability to be creative (which can wax and wane with the moon, it feels) to be what my paycheck hinges on. Perhaps this is because my creativity is so personal and sacred to me - it is the channel via which my soul interacts with the world - but perhaps it is to everyone? Maybe I am simply very sensitive about it, as I am with many things.

Studying creative writing made me fall out of love with the craft for a couple years, constantly overthinking my words and weighing them against form, content, industry, moral and message. I distinctly remember writing an memoir/essay I was quite proud of part way through my third year (within which I was quite vulnerable about myself) and being disappointed with my final grade on it, as it was so detached from my own personal pride in it. (To be fair though, looking back, it was not as technically sound as I had believed it at the time.)

To be clear, it is not that I wish to create completely void of external input and influence, and I do understand the importance of assessment and external feedback when it comes to developing technical skill! But for the point where I am in my life now, where I have done some formal learning and am starting to realise the infinity and freedom of informal learning, I just think there is a sweet spot where the amount and type of external input/influence is nuturing and kind and motivating and authentic. Too little influence and it can feel like screaming into the void - no resonance. Too much and . . . well, you get the above experience, where it feels like the thing you created as well as the process of creation becomes no longer wholly yours.

For me and what I have learned thus far in my life, my writing is best as this weird wildspace. That's what works for me! And I share my writing online in the purest sense of that word - share - because I want to show this small community something that means something to me, with no kind of transaction behind it. It's just out there, and you're also out there, and if you stumble upon it (or go looking for it) I hope this thing that means something to me means something to you too. I hope it creates resonance with you in this incomprehensible vastness of life.

Um, yeah. That's cool to have that written out and articulated! Thanks for reading 😊

~13/03/2024

[gomzdrawfr]

Hi Gomz! Been so inspired by your art, I'm considering picking up digital drawing again haha. What device and app do you use? What would you recommend if I wanna restart drawing? Would be great if you can answer with doodles :D thanks!

Hello Cumi! Thank you very much for this ask, to think I can inspire other people with my doodles means a lot to me <;3 ((def not cryin rn))

In this ask response, I'll include some links that you can check out for the appropriate stuff! I hope you can understand some things by the end of it :D

Disclaimer: im no professional, so most of this is just based on my experience!!

Okie dokie first off:

What device and app do I use?

I draw using a drawing pad, the Deco Mini7 on my laptop, and I use Krita to draw :3

Krita is free to use! You can download it here, or if you can afford it, clip studio paint is definitely a popular choice out there, some people use adobe too!

I will say it may seem complicated at first BUT it is relatively easy to learn once you get the hang of it, there have a full tutorial on their website with videos included if you wanna know more! digital art apps usually works the same way, once you get the fundamentals you can draw on any app tbh

Or if you do want to start using Krita, then you can send me another ask in the future and I'll share you my tips and tricks (which are honestly pretty scuff HAHA))

Other recommendation if you want to draw on phone/tablet/ipad!

2. I know you didnt ask this, but I wanted to share my experience starting out with digital painting/using the drawing pad for the first time

the thing about digital painting is that there's a lot of features here and they serve to make the process easier, but it can be quite overwhelming when you start off! examples are layers

drawing pad also means getting used to not looking at the pad and the screen at the same time + getting used to the pen, I had a hard time with it but the more I use it, the more i got used to it :D

funnily enough, I actually gotten this drawing pad bcuz I started using lecture notes online through pdf and such xD

3. What would you recommend if I want to restart drawing?

Not really sure what you mean about restarting, but Im assuming like finding a new artstyle or trying out different art medium is it? (like from traditional pencil doodle to stylus pen) but if you mean literally restarting then uhhhh XD I guess you gotto start drawing then haha?

I think my motto when it comes to drawing is that no matter what it is, just do it

"its gonna look bad" its okay bcuz at least I drew it, yk? xD the thing with art is the more you draw, the more you're familiar with it, the less intimidating it will become(tho it can still be scary, but hey! baby steps right?)

perhaps what I would recommend is testing out all kinds of artstyle, ask yourself:

what am I going to draw? ex: I wanna do self potraits! I wanna do silly doodles of my favourite characters!

what style do I wanna do? ex: Chibi, non-chibi, landscapes

Sometimes, you won't know those answers to those questions until later on, which is exciting dont you think? one day I said "im gonna draw Ghost in full gears" then the next I decided "actually nah screw that im gonna make Ghost cute" -w-

didchu know my first few digital doodles were done on OneNote? haha yes! and on my lecture notes nonetheless pfttt (this was around october 2022)

When in doubt, always ALWAYS start small and simple. Draw a circle, draw a blob, anything! Make it manageable :D

You can, of course, challenge yourself and go big! the most important key is you're drawing for yourself :3 and you should do something you're happy with!

well, sometimes there are moments where you wont like what you draw or artblock, when it comes to those time Id recommend taking a break xD

Finding your artstyle is an ever growing journey, I would suggest looking through websites like Artstation or Pinterest and collecting artstyle that you like! then learn from it, replicate it, trace it(AS LONG AS YOU DONT CLAIM IT AS YOUR OWN AND YOU DO IT FOR PRACTICE PURPOSES!!!) and study it :3

like heck I just found a new artstyle yesterday literally HAHA so you know, enjoy the fun!

4. Other helpful links and video for starting out digital painting:

Marc Brunet, has a ton of tutorials that are useful! my fav one being this one about face drawing and cell shading

Bluebiscuits, very cute artstyle and the videos are always soothing and calming to watch! they did this video about finding your artstyle which I highly recommend! their face drawing tutorial is also really good :3

I also watch tppo occasionally, his video focuses more on how he study other people's artstyle and then implementing it on his own! If you like art studies you can give it a go, like this one!

practice, practice and practice! things like art takes a while to master and get happy with :) like i said, keep trying and dont forget, all of this is for fun!

have a good day! feel free to ask me anytime if you want if you want some clarification <3

[literatureloverx]

Yes, I watched it again. I guess I'm on a marathon of revisiting all the old Disney princess movies. I thought it would be best to do it in chronological order. I will always love the feeling they evoke in me. Your compliments send me over the moon; please be merciful with them. 🥹

Why Disney doesn't do this kind of thing anymore, I will forever reproach. And now, they have more resources than ever before, but they still produce these dull and unoriginal tales. These days, everything is like a fiasco. It was expected that indie productions would gain more recognition, which they deserve.

Definitely, without question, you and us having quality time <3

For me, Disney lost its spark the very time they abandoned their 2D studios. Also, seriously? At the age where anime was beginning to shine? That decision was baffling. One might even think they were trying to sabotage themselves, lmao. And then there was the shift in their films from being primarily inspirational and creative to feeling more politically driven.

I personally do not see much soul or passion in their new projects. I understand that they may have good intentions, but I think there is a fine line between introducing important themes and overwhelming children with messages that might be too complex for them at a young age. Storytelling should feel natural and enchanting, not solely like a lesson wrapped in a film. How about focusing on original stories that actually make sense instead of endlessly remaking beloved classics? Now, there is an idea. Disney should hire me to hire more like-minded people, haha.

It is honestly quite sad how children today seem so soulless. And, having spent some time in a kindergarten, I have noticed they also seem less intellectually curious or imaginative than the kids I grew up with. I am not following studies on this, so I am speaking purely from my experience, but it is hard not to notice how things have changed—and not for the better.

I don’t want to dwell on this too much, even though I could probably go on for hours. That being said, if you ever consider watching a live-action Disney film, I would recommend Cinderella (2015).

It is a truly heartwarming adaptation that actually adds depth to the original film. The scenery is absolutely breathtaking (the blues, the greens? I want to live there), and the cinematography is stunning. It was shot on film, if I remember correctly, giving it a beautiful, romantic quality, like a fairy tale come to life. I also appreciated how they expanded on Cinderella and the Prince’s relationship by having them meet before the ball. This was not explored in the original animation, and I thought it was a very good addition that elevated the whole film as well.

Also, I do not know if you have watched Game of Thrones (I want to watch it when I have the time and energy, but I have actually picked up quite a bit just from watching random clips and reading about it), but the actor who plays Robb Stark (I am very sorry, I do not know the actor’s real name) plays the Prince. My honest reaction upon seeing him in the film was, “The King in the North.” Hahaha.♥️

[castlebyersafterdark]

I know youre a bit overwhelmed with messages but i just rewatched s4 with this clear head and i have so many thoughts about mileven and byler. I really tried to go in neutral, ignoring everything the theories and details have told me, i even ate some food meanwhile and painted my nails so i got the effect of being a casual viewer who missed shit haha. i ignored things i learnt in literature and art class and acted like it was a chill weekday evening to kick back with some light entertainment (lol).

and genuinely, as an experiment, i focused on mike and el's scenes and tried to empathise with milevens.

and what i got from it, is: the 'breakup' in el's bedroom is striking because of the use of music. it is a variation of 'Eulogy', one of the most moving pieces in the soundtrack. i was transported back to s1 and s2; the song played when Bob died. I had a surge of nostalgia for early season mileven, and a sense of an ending. a deep resignation, mainly on el's part.

throughout the middle of the series, it's clear that 1) el's focus is very much on herself, on her past, and brenner. even at rink o mania, she was focused more on angela than mike. i don't remember any scenes where we get El's pov regarding Mike, or her and mike together, until that 'breakup' scene.

and 2), even ignoring things like lighting style and colouring, its clear that byler scenes place focus in unusual places, like NOT on the person speaking. for example, in the van, when mike is worrying about el, the dialogue would suggest that this is the main focus. and yet, mike is blurred, and we see will gazing at him. it happens time and again, with mike gazing at will too, when he speaks. we know all this, but it really does itch your subconscious slightly - but only if you think about it, aka the perfect set up for a major plot twist.

i realised that only if you were watching the show at absolute face value specifically regarding what is said, could you still believe that in the van scene, mike did not understand that the painting and feelings were will's. Whether mike allows himself to acknowledge the true meaning of will painting him such a picture is what is in contention.

and it was here that I started to realise that the people who still root for mileven interpret the world differently to others, and there's very little the writers could have done to sway them in storytelling terms. even in s5 I am sure these people will think byler comes out of the blue. These are the kinds of people who get annoyed and bored in literature class when a teacher says a book has themes and symbols.

I got to the final ep, and quite honestly, taking mike's monologue at face value verbally, it became clear that El is the one who is giving negative responses. The lightning, overall tone, her crying. Her disinterest, with mike thrown into sharp contrast to brenner who just told her the world has more nuance than good vs evil. I believe brenner was a terrible man who had much wisdom, proving his own point.

And the real kicker: the repeated cuts to Will simply made me feel... well, heartbroken. I hit the epilogue, and it's just Will's little face, still entirely with that selfless innocence he always had, peering out of the van at the devastation in Hawkins. Mike looks at him from behind in that strange rack focus shot. And I just burst into tears at the idea that Will was here, back home, exactly the same as he always has been emotionally, sad and gay and in love with his best friend, who is happily back with his own girlfriend, a couple 'so stable' that they didnt even need to discuss the events on screen. Ofc an unrequited gay love in the 80s (or anytime) if a realistic possibility for a fictional character, but for THIS show, for the very specific way THIS story has been told, the idea of Will finishing his s4 off the way he began it is just devastating.

I'll admit that when s4 began and I realised Will liked Mike, I was all for some heartwrenching unrequited gay love. I was like bring it Will! Been there with ya. It made Will the everyman we all root for. But the way they handled the rest of the season, I genuinely fail to see how any average viewer, even one painting their nails, would be able to enjoy any mileven scene when we always, always, cut back to Will and his heartbreak.

The whole show has had an elephant in the room which is that Will is the key to what happened in the first place. Its an unsolved mystery, for people to think he is suddenly irrelevant or has been forgotten by the writers really stumps me. Maybe I've seen too many musicals, so I know there's always a reprise. Even though it's been like 8 years, I never thought for a second the writers would forget to tie up the mystery of little Will lost, because it's so key and also... so interesting. It's the Main Mystery. Why Will?!?!

So no shade, but I can only assume that anyone still rooting for mileven is genuinely not very intelligent, or has an agenda. We been knew, but it was fascinating to watch from this POV. It didnt tell me anything about what WILL happen in s5 regarding the love triangle, and I'm ready to be totally taken by surprise. But certainly there was nothing joyful about s4 mileven, so I can only assume that mileven fans are simply upset and angry and in deep denial. It's horrible that this should manifest as anger and hate, but I just have to hope everyone stays safe, especially our fav boys portraying them. For Noah or Finn to receive hate mail when byler happens would be awful.

I also recommend a rewatch from a casual pov if possible... it's really nice to get into the other themes and storylines and view the show holistically!

Thank you for sharing this!! When I get really detailed, long messages like this from you guys, it's honestly so cheerful and sweet, yall make my heart ache in the very best way. I love this part of blogging and fandom. Coming together about the joy and celebration of this silly piece of media we adore and which captivates our brains so deeply is awesome.

What a fun and fascinating idea - trying to watch with fresh eyes. I think this is a truly beneficial experience for anyone this entrenched in fandom. Laughing at you setting the scene and adding in your parameters for your experiment - the food and nails and switching the mind to chill mode. So funny. But so useful! What do you notice when you're not hyper analyzing it? And so, that's wild the music track playing you've noticed. The music tracks in this show are crazy and I'd love if one day the thought process was broken down as to the repeat uses in scenes like this, howvtheyve decided to use it to hint at the story. Because an average watcher would likely never pick up on it. But score is super meaningful.

I'm not gonna rehash all you wrote because you explained so clearly those observations and I agree with and love all the insight. Highlighting this:

and it was here that I started to realise that the people who still root for mileven interpret the world differently to others, and there's very little the writers could have done to sway them in storytelling terms. even in s5 I am sure these people will think byler comes out of the blue. These are the kinds of people who get annoyed and bored in literature class when a teacher says a book has themes and symbols.

I genuinely fail to see how any average viewer, even one painting their nails, would be able to enjoy any mileven scene when we always, always, cut back to Will and his heartbreak.

This is key. Surface level or not - I also fail to see how Mlvn is something to root for. They haven't given us that story. It's interesting and unexpected - a multi-directional metaphor. Cookie cutter cliche: everything works out. But that's not where we are season 4. They can't come out the otherside unchanged. Some things don't work out. Our heroes did mostly fail. Hawkins split. Foe the moment, Henry won. And love didn't fix anything. Because it wasn't love. How do people miss this? The message isn't going to be heartbreak. Mike and El are not our centering saviors. I think that's gonna be Will. Meaning... 🤔

You've made excellent observations I'm not going to just parrot. But I love this idea of a casual rewatch. It's been awhile since I've sat and watched the show in full, maybe this should be a worthwhile experiment. Try to watch this show fresh. Not any time soon, but in the near future I'll indulge like you've done here. All for the sake of research!

[narrativesofzi]

AY22/23 Semester 1 (Y1S1)

hello! just a brief background regarding this semester, i dropped out of school the week right before finals, as i had been struggling with mental health and ended up hospitalised, hence the reviews of the modules would not be complete ><

my first semester was very stressful and honestly, i was so distracted and overwhelmed that looking back, i did not learn anything at all haha

i had to take an LOA and apply for Special Consideration (SC) for the modules that i did not take the finals for, but the process was rather smooth

but anyways! here's my experience as a Business Analytics student for Y1S1!

modules taken:

CS1010S Programming Methodology

BT1101 Introduction to Business Analytics

MA2001 Linear Algebra I

IS1108 Digital Ethics and Data Privacy

LAK1201 Korean 1

CS1010S Programming Methodology

Professor: Leong Wai Kay

Exams:

28 Sept (Mid-Term)

12 Nov (Practical Exam)

22 Nov (Finals)

Language: Python

Weightage:

Coursemology - 25%

Participation - 5 %

Mid-Term - 15%

Practical Exam - 15%

Finals - 40%

please note that i did not take the finals for this module ><

having no background in coding, this was definitely the killer module as it had the highest workload and toughest concepts to grasp. after every lecture, there would be a lecture quiz regarding what was taught in class, followed by tutorials and missions, and recitations (optional!). in order to secure 25% for Coursemology, we had to reach level 50 by earning XPs through completing tutorials and missions (too much work for me... ).

i would spend my whole day trying to figure out how the code works, find its bugs and generally struggle to keep up. i even ended up having nightmares about coding because of how much time i spend on trying to code.

unfortunately, i did not have the greatest help from my TA and it got really demoralising to the point where i was reluctant to start on any tasks because i knew i would get stuck and spend hours and hours but to no avail.

regarding the weightage for mid-terms and finals, they introduced progressive scoring, where you have a chance to redeem yourself (if you messed up your mid-terms) because your finals results could potentially fully overwrite your mid-terms results.

Prof Leong was pretty chill, i would say. i was not exactly able to always catch up with his content but there were online videos to refer to, so probably not that big of a problem.

Note:

Be prepared for the intensity of this module

Cheatsheets are allowed

Mid-terms was conducted in pen and paper

BT1101 Introduction to Business Analytics

Professor: Sharon Tan, Zhai Yingda

Exams:

18 Oct (Mid-Terms)

24 Nov (Finals)

Language: R

Weightage:

Online Quiz & Datacamp Assignments - 15%

Tutorials (best 6 out of 9) - 24%

Lab - 6%

Mid-Terms - 15%

Finals - 40%

please note that i did not take the finals for this module ><

the module is split equally by the two Professors, with Sharon teaching the first half of the semester and Zhai teaching the second half of the semester.

the general workload of each week includes watching lectures and completing online self-learning activities, completing tutorials and lab sessions. it was still manageable, though R can be quite confusing as it is not very intuitive for me.

for tutorials, they do not really provide you with the model answers so you cannot exactly refer to the codes to do your assignments... but other than that, i do not really have any comments regarding this module.

regarding the mid-terms, it was held online on Examplify where there will be no access to the internet. it was a combination of MCQs and long answer questions where you will have to provide your own code as the solution.

Note:

Cheatsheets are allowed

Would recommend you to build your own code bank for reference during exams

MA2001 Linear Algebra I

Professor: Dilip Raghavan, Ma Siu Lun

Exams:

23 Nov (Finals)

Weightage:

Online Quiz - 15%

Homework Assignments - 20%

Lab - 5%

Finals - 60%

please note that i did not take the finals for this module ><

this module was more of H2 Further Mathematics, so if you have experience in that, good for you. we were learning about matrices but on steroids.

the general workload for each week includes watching lectures, completing tutorials and occasionally assignments. lectures are all recorded (thank god), and you can pretty much self study for it.

everyone basically got full marks for online quiz, homework assignments and lab because there was a Telegram chat where everyone would discuss answers and learn from each other. the killer questions were proving, and that would pretty much be the separation between the As and Bs.

i freaking loved Professor Chan Heng Huat's teaching and he was very passionate about teaching the subject. i attended his tutorials and every session was just like WOWWWW (but i still struggled a lot haha).

Note:

Cheatsheets are allowed

IS1108 Digital Ethics and Data Privacy

Professor: Lee Boon Kee

Weightage:

Tutorial Attendance - 10%

Case Scenario - 20%

Quiz - 30%

Reflections - 10%

Project - 30%

at the end of the course, i do not think that i have learnt anything new or useful. this module is basically fluff and actually reminded me of PW in JC. did not watch any lectures and still managed to get a good grade.

tutorials were 2 hours long to analyse case scenarios based on a given framework and give a short presentation to the class. the TAs will then give feedback based on the presentation.

as for the final project, just treat it as another PW - look for problems, analyse stakeholders, provide solutions, evaluate pros and cons. as long as people in the group pulled their weight, it should be fine. if not, i guess you just gotta suck thumb.

Note:

Take it with your friends

LAK1201 Korean 1

Professor: Bae So Hee

Weightages:

Quiz - 10%

Written Test - 50%

Oral Test - 15%

Writing Assignment - 15%

Participation - 10%

Exams:

24 Aug (Online Quiz)

31 Aug (Online Quiz)

15 Sept (Mid-Terms)

27 Oct (Oral)

8 Nov (Finals)

i took this module just to spoil market because i already kinda knew how to read and write korean letters so i did not think that i needed to put in much effort to do well. i got complacent and realised (late) that everyone had the same thinking...

learning a new language is always hard but i guess having the face to face tutorials help as it provides a space where everyone is able to learn how to speak the language. but languages being languages, i got very confused with how the grammar works, sentence structures etc.

in general, it was a pretty fun and interesting module and we even learnt how to fold a hanbok for our last session! would recommend this module if you are interested in Korean!

Final Thoughts

it was definitely a shame that i only dropped out the week before finals, but looking back, it was necessary because i knew that i could not perform up to my standards and would be disappointed in my results. it was a leap of faith to take up the LOA and further take a gap semester to heal, and i am glad that i took that step. there were many considerations -- forfeiting the school fees for the semester, lagging behind my peers, explaining to my peers regarding my mental health.

if you are struggling with your mental health, please do not push yourself too hard. if you need a break, please take one.

i hope that this would provide some insights to the life of an average BZA student :)

peace <3

[saltymongoose]

Can you imagine the main three + 2b with a player that smell HEAVENLY??

just trying to paint a picture here

Being surrounded by the smell of sweat and gun powder all the time and then player just comes in with a whiff of some perfume-y scent??

Do you think it’ll drive them more nuts? Trying to find every excuse to try and be close to them or have them wear their close so it smells like them?!!

Just coming from someone who’s obsessed with perfumes and smelling good

This makes a lot of sense; you and your world are entirely different from Nevada and it's grunts, so of course they'd obsess over your unique scent too. This idea got me thinking, so I made some hcs for it haha. Hope you like em! :)

Their reaction to the Player's Smell ft. Hank, Deimos, Sanford, & 2BDamned

(TW: Yandere, Obsessive behavior, the boys being a lil creepy in this one? Not a lot, but still. This is also extra long. 👍)

Most things in Nevada don’t exactly smell “nice” the way they did before the fall; the scent of smoke and burning debris permeates through the land’s air in most places and many jobs lead to coming into contact with blood and gore, and its pungent metallic scent along with it. For your grunts, it’s no different.

On a good day, your vessels usually smell of sweat and gunpowder because of their work, or strong antiseptic and bleach if it’s 2BDamned. It’s not very “fresh and clean” (or in some cases, it’s too sterile smelling), but it’s normal enough not to warrant any real notice. Either way, it’s a lot better than the scent of blood, and it’s not like they really had any reason to pay attention to it. 

In fact, they had become so used to it that they didn’t really consider that you’d be any different; the thought of what you smelled like never crossed their minds that often before they met you in person. (Well, outside of what it’d be like if you shared their scent, but that was neither here nor there.)

So when they actually get close to you and are met with how intoxicatingly good your scent actually is, it becomes an odd focal point for their obsession interest in you.

Sanford was the first to really notice it in full, since he’d been the one to carry you around the first time you met with them. He had been very overwhelmed at the time (since he’d just met the person he’d been “secretly” pining over for months and was now holding them in his arms), so his own hyperawareness of your body resting against his made him really take in everything about having you so close. And with this, your unique scent.

It was kind of flowery and fresh, mixing with your natural smell to make something truly unique. Although he couldn’t place what exactly it was (since flowers weren’t abundant in Nevada), he knew that he liked it. Maybe a bit too much. It was something that was so specific to you that he couldn’t help wanting more of it.

Sanford’s one of the more subtle ones when it comes to getting close to you just to envelop himself in your smell. He’s already pretty affectionate, so the many times he pulls you into a hug and just happens to inhale near your skin can pass off as accidental most times (despite the way the others give him suspicious looks whenever he does so, but that’s normal at this point). Sometimes he’ll hold you tighter to him so that your scent stays with him for a bit longer, something to soothe him whenever you leave his side.

He’ll also do this far more often, so much so that you’re tipped off to how the grunts seem to be completely fascinated by this trait of yours.

Honestly, you find it kind of amusing. You’ve realized by this point that grunts react very weirdly to things that are normal to you, so it made sense that something as innocuous as how you smell would be something to fixate on. They already stare at you quite a lot to take in your unique appearance and exposed facial features (at least from your point of view), so you didn’t mind Sanford’s actions here. 

In fact, sometimes you even teased him over it. It’s all good-natured on your part since you didn’t take any offense to your vessel’s weird mannerisms. If anything, you use a joking tone to try and make him less shy about it. Though you have to be a little careful not to give him a heart attack sometimes.

Like that moment he was sitting with you on the couch, his arm wrapped around your shoulder and keeping you close as you watched the television that Deimos had managed to set up. You bit back a sly grin when you felt his chin come to rest on your shoulder, turning slightly to ask him nonchalantly: “Is it any different today?” 

He gave a questioning hum, and this time you returned his innocently curious look with a knowing one. “My smell?” you replied, taking note of the way he seemed to freeze at your question, “I haven’t been wearing any perfume since I got here. You noticed, right?” He pulled his head away from your neck, flushed with embarrassment as stammered apologies spilled from his lips.

(He fucked up, he really fucked up. He was utterly mortified, shame pricking at him as he moved away. You must’ve thought he was a creep or something now. God, he felt like he was going to throw up. Had he just managed to single-handedly destroy any chance at being your partner? He can’t believe he-)

You interrupted his anxious, self-deprecating thoughts by placing a hand on his shoulder and shaking him. “Sanford, you’re okay,” you started, a teasing smile replaced with a concerned frown. You didn’t mean to freak him out this badly. “I’m not offended or anything, really.” You gave him what you hoped was a comforting look and pulled his pliant form a little closer, smiling once you felt him relax at your touch. “I’m just teasing, you can uh… sniff, I guess? As much as you like, I don’t really care.”

Besides this, you’ll try to curb some of his apprehension about the subject by doing things to make it so he doesn’t always have to be by your side to smell you. He doesn’t wear a shirt, so wearing his clothes for a bit is a no-go (and it’s not like his pants could fit you either).

Eventually, you just decide to snoop around for that scarf he wears as part of his “alternate outfits” in-game and have that on you for a few hours before suggesting he uses it. The bashful, surprised look you get in return for your little act of kindness is enough to make the effort of wearing it in this sweltering weather anyway. It looks good on him too, though you wonder how having a scarf on in Nevada of all places could be practical.

Deimos, on the other hand, is not subtle with how he tries to get more of your scent. After all, you don’t seem to mind how physically affectionate he is with you, nor how he buries his face in the nape of your neck to deeply inhale your sweet smell, so why would he try to keep it unnoticeable? Plus, it also really annoys the others, which he finds himself enjoying (even if it’s a dangerous game to play with people like Hank involved).

He often throws himself at you to cuddle regardless, but instead of just being relatively close to you like Sanford would be, he’ll try to press as much of his body into yours as possible. This usually means that he’ll discard his coat and any bandages that cover his arms, not only because it allows him to have the most direct contact with you that he can, but also so the lingering scent of tobacco doesn’t muddle his senses.

Deimos wants to be completely enveloped in everything you; your comforting warmth that spreads through him whenever he embraces you, the hazy cloud that invades his mind when your strings fix themselves to his fingers, and the refreshing (and above all addictive) way you smell. He’d be mad at himself if he allowed his own vices to interfere and pollute his indulgence in these things, so he’ll take every precaution to prevent it. Plus, he’s found that having his bare skin contact you in places really heightens the experience, so he’s happy to go without any unnecessary outerwear.

(You’re reminded of a cat when he wraps his limbs around you and snuggles into your form. It’s his purring, mainly, but also the weird way he seems to rub against you? His arms and legs shift around constantly, and his fingers trace patterns on your body as he nuzzles into the crook of your neck. He just doesn’t stop moving. Not unless you start petting him, at least. Then he just melts further into you instead.)

He even tries to cut back a bit on smoking around you, since the smell of his cigarettes tends to overpower most things and he can’t have that. Honestly, a part of you is grateful for this, since it’s better for his health (even if he doesn’t completely quit, unfortunately).

Although one thing that made you raise a brow was his tendency to “borrow” your things, for a lack of a better term. Usually it’s just a shirt or two that you’ve left in your room after forgetting to put it in with the rest of the dirty laundry, and he always returns it at some point but still, it’s kinda weird. To be honest, you’re not even sure why he felt the need to do that, it’s not like you were unavailable if he wanted to cuddle you like usual.

(Well, to you anyway. The others were pretty territorial, and Deimos couldn’t always get the opportunity to catch steal your attention. Besides, it’s not like he’s doing anything bad with them! And was it really so awful to want something to remind him of his future partner when they’re away with someone else?)

(It’s a very irrational viewpoint since you literally live together, but he doesn’t care. To be honest, he doesn’t even realize the full extent of it, too infatuated with you to even think straight.)

It’s relatively harmless in your eyes, especially since you had that interaction where you actually found out what he’d been doing with them. (Well, one of them, at least.) It had been your favorite shirt, a really loose title for something that barely fit you (grunt sizing and all), but it had a cool design you liked. And it seems that you’d misplaced it, which led to a base-wide search.

You’d poked your head through Deimos’ door on a whim (since he’d been in charge of laundry last, so of course he’d know), finding him napping on his bed after a long mission. The feeling of guilt slightly tugged at you when you neared his sleeping form. He’d really worn himself out that day; he didn’t even bother taking his shoes off before passing out, instead just letting his feet hang off. 

You leaned down next to him, running your hand over his messy hair to try and gently wake him up. You wanted to be relatively quick with this, since the man needed his rest. He hummed and raised his head a bit, which you took as a sign to start your whispered questions. Hopefully he was awake enough.

“Sorry to bother you, Dei, but have you seen my shir–oh.” You cut yourself off when he lifted his head entirely, revealing that he was quite literally using it as a pillowcase. Huh. Well, that answered it.

“Mmh, wha?” he slurred, voice raspier than normal and thick with sleep. He hadn’t really registered your question, instead looking at you for a moment in confusion. He was about to try and ask you to repeat what you’d said when he noticed that you were staring below him, and he turned to look down, face going pink. Right, he forgot to put that back. 

“Oh..yeah, sorry,” Deimos chuckled awkwardly, subconsciously pulling the pillow a bit closer to him. “’m really sorry, I’ll uh..I can give this back to you, if ya want. It’s just, you smell really good, and it’s nice to…fall asleep to..kinda like you’re here…?” He murmured a half-thought-out response, slightly cringing at his own delivery. He really could’ve been more suave with that, but in his defense, his brain wasn’t exactly working well with his drowsy fog. At least it was honest.

Yet it was good enough for you to still his hands when he went to yank your shirt off his pillow, giving him a soft smile as you did so. (You’d honestly found his reaction kind of cute; you didn’t know he missed you this much when you were away. Plus his actions were pretty innocent, even if you knew he was anything but.) “It’s fine Dei, you can keep it for now.” He nods a little, still blushing from embarrassment. Though he gave an elated, sharp-toothed grin when you suggested you stay, to actually be there when he fell asleep. He hoped it wouldn’t be the last time you did.

Hank is a bit like Deimos in how unabashed he is in his attempts to smell you, but he doesn’t feel any embarrassment when you take note of what he does. While he won’t steal your things (at least not yet), he’s content with just having you use his clothes instead. Though his version of asking just includes switching some of his stuff in with yours and expecting you to wear it at some point.

You do, actually (since you figured there was no harm in humoring him), which he takes as encouragement. Honestly, it’s like you have a system going where he’s constantly circulating through things you’ve worn at some point since he does it so often.

But he wouldn’t have it any other way; he views having your unique scent on him as somewhat of a claim, both that he’s yours and that you’re his partner. Why else would he let you close enough to leave it on him?

It eventually comes to the point where he feels like something’s missing from him if he doesn’t have something that has a trace of your smell at all times. Considering how much he thinks about you, you’d think that he’d realize that it isn’t necessary; you’re already his Player and you spend a bunch of time around him already. But that just isn't enough for him.

Another bonus to this little exchange you have going on is that he constantly gets to see you in his things, which he’s a massive fan of. He doesn’t think he’s seen anything more adorable than you in one of his shirts. They're usually a bit snug on him (since he has the opposite problem of being a bit too tall), but you could wear them as dresses if you wanted. The collar will slip down one of your arms and the sleeves go well past your hands. Yet you still wear them, and he appreciates it.

Although, Hank's absolute favorite thing to give you to wear is his coat. It's something so specific to him that you wearing it was a clear symbol of his own connection with you, one that ran far deeper than the others could ever hope to have. You don't exactly go around wearing their clothes as often (due in no small part to his own interference when they try).

Besides using his clothes, another thing that Hank does is that he’ll interrupt the time the others spend with you if he believes he’s been “neglected” of your presence and scent for too long. This is typically done in the manner of wrenching you away from your current company and halfway into his arms for a short minute, all so he can give you a small nuzzle and smell you.

(You’re reminded of a cat yet again when he rubs his face against you. It’s probably one of the weirder things he’s done, considering how he doesn’t even make the move to completely remove you from your other vessel’s side (as much as he’d like to). Then again, Hank was always rather impatient, so it makes enough sense for you to merely resign yourself to it when it happens. You know it’s not the most disruptive thing he could do anyway.)

Naturally the others are completely outraged by this. Hank already insists on showing his possessiveness over you by having you wear his clothes, which is infuriating enough to witness (especially since he’s so smug when you walk around in them). But to have him physically encroach on a private moment between you and them? It was crossing a serious line, and one that they usually respected (albeit begrudgingly).

(You perked your head up when you heard quiet footsteps, leaning a bit into Deimos as you turned to see who was approaching the couch where you were sitting. “Oh, hey Hank,” you greeted simply before turning back to the other grunt. (You didn’t notice the suspicious glare Deimos sent Hank as he shifted a little closer to you. He was getting too close to not be trying something.)

But your eyes widened in surprise when you suddenly felt a pair of hands wrap around your shoulders and pull you backward, effectively yanking you out of your seat and forcing you to rest your weight on Hank instead. You flailed for a moment before his grip tightened and he leaned in to support you more, purring as he slotted his face into the nape of your neck and inhaled deeply. He was so close that you could practically feel him breathing against your skin.

Meanwhile, Deimos had reached forward to grip your hips and tug you back to him, looking up at Hank's face before growling at him (lowly enough that he hoped you wouldn't be able to hear). “Fuck off, Hank.” To which the grunt in question moved a hand to flip him off, leering down at him from your shoulder all the while.)

It makes your other vessels angry, but that was expected. He imagines it must hurt to be reminded of how inferior they were in their relationships with you, especially in comparison with him. Then again, he couldn't care less as long as he had you.

2BDamned was actually the last to notice how good you smell. This was mainly due to the fact that he wears a mask 24/7 and because the chemicals he surrounds himself with tend to overpower everything else; it’s only when you’re pressed up close to him that he first realizes it.

Unlike the others, Doc isn’t bold enough to take your things or ask you to wear his clothes to get them to smell like you. For the former, he doesn’t want to scare you off or offend you by violating your boundaries, and for the latter, there’d be no point to it.

As someone who spends most of his time keeping everything in his office and makeshift medbay as clean and germ-free as possible, he knows the harsh chemicals would likely erase any trace of your scent the moment he does anything. It would be a fruitless endeavor; even if he had the gall to ask you to wear his things to begin with, he didn’t want to inconvenience you by having you do it again and again.

However, it’s not like Doc is immune to the same cravings for you that the others so happily suffer from; believe him, if he had the option of only smelling you all day he would. But he just doesn’t find the opportunity for it most of the time (and he doesn’t want to deal with the headache of the others complaining or trying to interrupt his time with you. Like Hank.)

You’ve spent enough time around him to notice how he holds himself back though, and as the Player, you figured it wouldn’t be fair if you didn’t give him as much direct attention as the other three. (And you’ve found that fairness was really important in your dealings with the grunts. You didn’t want any rifts to happen just because you spent more time with one of them.) Besides, you’re used to this weird aspect of grunts by now, so you feel comfortable enough making the first move if he won’t.

No matter how many times you’ve done it, you still manage to surprise him when you tug him out of his chair to bring him to one of your rooms (since you know how private he is about showing his face). The entire time you’re walking with your fingers intertwined, he’s fighting to keep his blush from showing. You have quite the effect on him, and it’d be embarrassing if you knew how flustered he got from something as small as holding your hand.

By the time you’ve shut the door and sat down on your (or his) bed to patiently wait for him, his flush has lessened to a slight pink that colors his cheeks and his neck. It’s only noticeable to you when he removes his mask and he turns to face you, the scars near his mouth happen to obscure the worst of it (one of their few benefits, in his opinion). 

After this, it’s like his characteristic restraint has been broken; his movements are rushed and he doesn’t waste any time laying down with you, toeing off his boots the best he can while pulling you closer to him. To you, it’s haphazard (and kind of amusing, was he that desperate to spend time with you?), but to him it’s efficient (yes, yes he was).

His purring is actually pretty loud for once, though you think it’s mainly to do with how your head is resting comfortably on his chest, and you sigh and wrap your arms around him. He seems almost clingy in times like this, with how his hands tighten over your hip and your shoulder, legs tangling with yours as he presses his cheek against your temple.

To him, it’s genuinely overwhelming to have you so close and to be able to take in your scent purely like this. It’s almost like a drug to him; he aches for it when he’s forced to go without it for too long, a craving that’s only surpassed by his need for your presence beside him.

He’s the happiest like this, unbothered by the other grunts in his squad and left entirely alone with you; his most beloved Player. And yet, he still wonders why you bother letting him indulge in you in such a way. He’d expected that you’d find it intrusive, to be quite honest.

(“Don’t you find this strange?” He once asked, voice rumbling against your ear in an almost shudder-inducing way – one that you thought was oddly unfair. You bit the inside of your cheek as you paused to consider his words, ignoring the way red tinted your cheeks as he hummed contently while nuzzling further into you.

“Not really?” You murmured, “I mean I know I smell nice enough, but I guess I wasn’t expecting you guys to like it this much?”

He huffed a small laugh. ‘If only you knew,’ he thought. Yet he didn’t say anything further, not about how truly addictive your scent was to him, and certainly not how it was so just because it came from you. He knew it was the same for the others as well. But that was information for another time.)

In any case, he takes it as a point of pride that you actually seek him out to let him sate some of his desires in this way. Surely it must be proof that you value him above the rest, right? He's the only one you actually go to first for this. Or at least, he's the one you must think about the most, since you were so kind to grant him these little private moments. Either way, expect him to subtly brag about it often, just enough to make the others fall from their high of having your attention. Doc's been called a "killjoy" in the past, but he wears that title proudly whenever talk of your favorite comes around.