#and honestly as far as rn goes I don’t think I could do art as a job either I’m not skilled enough and I just do not have the real will to

[deityofhearts]

a lot of people irl think that I should be a secretary and idk what to do about that

[geodetojoy]

God I’d wanna meet you and char so bad!! (And you too eowyn if you see this!!)

I think I’d just wanna get away at first, and maybe bring one of my irls with me or take them somewhere else if they didn’t want to live together (neither of us are in the best places at home rn). I wouldn’t really care where, just somewhere else. Leave almost all traces of my past behind me and just start anew

Id bring my cats and give them a life so much better than the one they have now, a life better than they deserve (which is impossible, they’re the best little guys ever and they deserve the world, but you get the idea)

I’d absolutely still want to pursue my passion of game development, whether that be through public education or learning on my own. But I’d also want to learn so much more. Follow through on all the things little me wanted to be when I grew up, and go beyond even that. Interior design? Sure. Archeology? Fuck yeah. Botany? I’ll start my own garden.

Even further, I’ll grow and produce everything I need to keep baking. I’ll make food for myself and my pets and everyone I care about and I won’t have to worry about it hurting me or anyone else because I could control everything that goes into it.

I’d have all of the animals I love, or at least go to a place where they’re native so I can encounter them in the wild.

I’d finally have time to work on and finish all of my art projects I want to make, and then I can spend even more time improving my skills

I’d write! Oh my god I’d write. I can’t even express how much I’d write. I’d write fan fiction, I’d create worlds of my own, I’d run a dnd campaign!!

I think I’d live fairly far from most people, as long as I’d have the means to sustain myself. Maybe I’d stay near a few shops and such but as long as I have contact with my friends thats all the people I need. And away from the city I’d be able to see the stars and be able to see and paint the most beautiful landscapes, and my animals wouldn’t have to worry about running too far away or the dangers of urbanization.

I’d live in a pretty small place, just enough room for a nice kitchen, bedroom, bathroom, and a large studio for my artwork. I’d have plenty of yard space, likely live by the woods or a forest, and have a large garden and plenty of outdoor space for me to do art in the later hours of the day, because god knows my autism can’t handle the sunlight.

I’d watch all of the things I wanna watch, play all of the games I want to play, and all of it would give me the motivation to create my own art to show to the world, whatever medium it may be in.

Honestly the thing I think I’d look foreword to most, which is incredibly simple and a bit embarrassing, is that I’d sing. I’d sing so much without the fear of others hearing me. I’d have the time to work on my voice, to listen to more songs I love, and to sing along to those too. Hell maybe I’d write my own music if I find the motivation. I love singing so fucking much and I just can’t do it around others, idk if it’s as simple as my anxiety or shame or what, but in this place surrounded by nothing but nature and comfort, I don’t think I’d ever stop.

But I think what I’d do most is rest. I wouldn’t need wake up super early (as long as the animals are okay) and I wouldn’t need to worry about deadlines or being forced to do anything, I could take all of the time that I need to get things done and I think that lack of stress would really help my executive dysfunction.

And I wouldn’t be afraid to accommodate my body or my mind or to get it the help it needs. I’d have a sensory room, tons of fidget toys, I’d get rid of all of the things that make me uncomfortable, and maybe I’d even get a therapist if things were still too rough.

Edit: ID CUT MY HAIR holy shit id cut my hair I’ve been unable to get a specific haircut I want for years now and ID GET THAT

I have a question, if you could do anything you wanted with your life, and money, time, and other circumstances wouldn't be an issue, what would you like to do?

[vethbrenatto]

This might be a little too early to ask, but what Campain 3 ships do you enjoy?

Personally, my heart goes out to Orym x Fearne. The vibes are just ✨chefs kiss✨

Like, loyal down-to-earth halfling guard and chaotic fey Disney princess??? ✅ .

Extreme height difference??? ✅.

The loyalty???? ✅.

“But… I don’t know if I wan to be without Orym.” 🥺

Fearne putting a hand against Oryms cheek when he absentmindedly trots behind her??? And him leaning into her touch??? 🥺

Orym’s nickname for Fearne being ‘Fearnie’?!?!? Amazing.

And as much as I prefer them to be a really good female/female friendship, Laudna x Imogen are really adorable. Definitely very much that meme of the pastel house and goth house side by side.

honestly, i'm really open with campaign 3 ships! i tend to focus on platonic relationships just as much as romantic ships for critical role, so there's definitely no c3 ship yet that i'd go I Will Die On This Hill, it's just too early. i'm also a big multi-shipper when it comes to CR, so there's a lot that i'm like hmm.

here's a list of every pairing that i'd say have given me moments that at the least made me raise an eyebrow and go "hmm":

imogen & laudna

dorian & orym

dorian & orym & fearne

fearne & orym

dorian & fearne

laudna & dorian (honestly i mostly thought of this one platonically from canon interactions BUT there's been some fantastic art out there that made me shift my tune and consider it)

fearne & imogen & laudna

ashton & fearne

chetney & fearne/bertrand & fearne/honestly fearne flirting with any old man i am SO here for this. she is 100+ years old if she wants to date a GILF i say let her

of all of those, the ones that have intrigued me most often would have to be dorym, dorian/orym/fearne, and ashton/fearne. i think dorian is so damn shippable and i STILL am a doriax truther but i think i've just gotten to the point where all the exu crew have such chemistry i'm just a poly!EXU crew truther. outside that, i think ashton and fearne have such a fun dynamic and i really like the energy they've got with each other so far. "you can suck on my hair, if you want" and then a pickpocketing war is just such a good vibe. fearne is like chaos personified and i think ashton is one of the few people who could at least put on an outward face that they are Not Phased By This At All which makes them good together.

i'm holding off judgment on imogen and laudna. i think they've got a lot of potential and obvious love between them, and they're obviously the most popular ship in fandom rn alongside dorym probably, but i'm really intrigued to see where marisha & laura take the relationship. i've said in the past that i think they have a lot of widobrave parallels which entices me, so i'm excited to see what happens with them.

(also to address all your points about fearne/orym- totally! i think they're cuties!)

[charmspoint]

what i know abt qifrey from u talking abt him uhh ok so he's genuinely just a nice guy but also he's evil and irredeemable but also he's literally just a pleasant gentleman

I know ur not asking for a rant about this but by god ur gonna get it.

So the thing is, I don't think Qifrey is evil or irredeemable at all. We joke around the fandom (at least i hope its mostly jokes) that he's evil and crazy but he's really not. If id have to pin Qifrey on a morality spectrum I'd say morally gray but leaning towards the good.

Did Qifrey do some messed up stuff? Yes, fo sure. But I've always gotten more of an impression that he's teetering towards the edge and not completely over it. He does do damage but so far he's mostly made sure that damage was extremely localized and not actually harming other people (I talked about before how Qifrey's own memory erasing spell seems weirdly specialized compared to what we were brought to believe memory erasing spell actually does when used by anyone else).

But now comes the question

Do I think Qifrey will get worse?

Yes, 100% I believe this is where we are going towards, I said before that I'm p convinced he will become some kind of obstacle for Coco down the line.

Qifrey is going through a LOT rn. He's already got ptsd from, you know being stripped of his identity, buried alive, almost drowned and then remembering he was experimented on like a lab rat, but now it's getting worse. Before he could at least relay on the fact that even though his past was horrible, his future was bright. He genuinely loves his job, he loves his girls, he loves teaching. This monolog gets me every single time

Now he's losing his future, he's losing not only his eye, but the whole identity he built out of nothing, he's losing his teaching position, he's losing his kids, he's losing Everything he gained after he had already lost Everything.

It leaves him rushing against an uncertain time limit, desperate, stumbling, sloppy. I don't think he's thinking straight anymore, not really. I think he's convinced he is being methodical and calculating but in actuality he's stumbling forward, grasping at straws, unable to hold on to anything but his need for revenge and the empty words that his actions aren't only for his own sake.

It's all very striking, in his relationship with Olruggio in particular. Olruggio is very clearly supposed to be the guiding light for Qifrey, the one who pulls him back when he goes too far, the one who helps him resist the growing darkness. It's very meaningful how as Qifrey continues on his path he makes sure Olruggio doesn't even know about it. He said it himself, if Olruggio knew, he'd try to save him. He'd try to bring Olruggio to light again and Qifrey doesn't WANT to be saved, he has decided on a road he wants to take and he won't allow anyone to change his course. Not even Olruggio.

So do I think Qifrey is evil?

No

Do I think he'll get worse?

Yes

Do I think he'll become evil?

Not really

See here's the thing. Qifrey's desperation, how quickly he's trying to work through this, how determined he is to throw everything else under the bus if he could just achieve his goals? All of that is dictated by the fact he's running out of time, the fact that once he loses his eyesight he can no longer be a witch. Eyesight is VERY important to witches since magic is a very visual art. We've seen with Tartar how something as seemingly miniscule as color blindness can basically doom someone, causing everyone around them to say they can't become a witch without good eyesight. So complete blindness is a death sentence to a witches career. Now, it's funny how a lot of the Coustas and Tartars arc has to do with adjusting the world to disability and not the person to the world. How it's made pointed, over and over again, that people with disabilities shouldn't be written off but given proper tools that will help them function, how the world should adjust to be a more comfortable place for all kinds of people and not just those who are already adjusted to it. Without the threat of his eyesight going out and cutting his whole identity into bits, Qifrey wouldn't have to act like this, he would be able to sit and think and not rush and if he still wants to pursue brimhats he could do it more safely for himself and everyone else because the desperation factor would be gone.

So what I think is going to happen is that Qifrey will lose his eyesight but won't lose his standing as a witch because he, Olruggio and the kids will figure out how to make magic accessible to him.

Now there's of course a bunch more unaccounted for variables which I'll probably have a better grasp on after the current arc is done being translated. Ininia and Lord Restis represent a very interesting development because they are brimhats introduced specifically via healing injuries. The rule of 'medicine magic isn't allowed cuz it's a slippery slope' has been there since the beginning of the series and a big thorn in the 'yeah the witch world rules are good and fair' side cuz of course, everyone thinks healing people should be allowed. Now the brimhats we've had so far were fully ready to attack and experiment on children's bodies in order to further their own goals so of course that immediately leaves you disliking them and not putting much account into their rhetoric even though it does make sense at times, but ur not gonna listen to ppl experimenting on kids. That's why I think Ininia and Lord Restis are interesting, cuz if they aren't literally attacking children they might get a good case in about medicine magic being allowed. I think we are going towards at least some sort of medicine magic becoming acceptable considering Tartar's arc. But then the question is, if some sort of medicine magic is approved, will it be used to heal disabilities cuz like...that would kinda suck. I would much rather have a 'world should be adjusted so disabled people can participate in it equally' narrative rather than the 'just heal the disability with magic lol' narrative. But honestly this whole paragraph is pure speculation because the arc isn't fully translated or even fully out yet but I sure af am LOOKING at it. I think it will be v important in understanding where the story is going to go. I just hope Shirahama does a good job with it, but honestly she never once let me down up until now so I'm feelin positive.

Circling back to Qifrey, I do think he's one of the kindest, most understanding, most lovable characters I've had a joy of reading and studying. But he does have a black hole in him that is pulling apart all that kindness, leaving him a shattering shell. I don't think he's evil, I don't think he'll ever become truly evil and despite what he's done I don't think any of what he did is irredeemable, especially with how careful he tends to be not to take away from people more than he has to to further his own goals. But I do think that hole will eat at him more and more and that before he can get better somebody will have to notice it and help him plug it up. Olruggio noticed and Qifrey refused the help, convinced that he can't be helped, not in the way he needs. He will need proof that he can keep his future before he can ease up on the frantic hunt after his past

[ramuoto]

TOP 10 MANHWAs

if anything good came out of 2020, it’s my discovery of manhwas. 

well, it’s not like i’ve never read a single manhwa in the past 15+ years but tbh, the ratio of manhwa:manga i consume on a weekly basis has jumped exponentially this year. previously it was like 1:99 and now it’s like 90:10 LMAO. 

so, just to remind myself that the world is still full of good things, i had to make this list. which i will probably edit in the future, if i can be bothered to. :) 

anyhow, this list was not made in any particular order, just whichever came into mind. it’s loooong so be prepared! (I’ve read way more titles than mentioned but just included the ones worth checking out)

for whoever stumbles across this list, i hope some of these resonate with you and i hope they make you as happy as they made me. 

pic credits: https://geekculture.co/geeks-guide-to-transmigration-novels-avoid-death-at-all-costs/

1. Ebony

https://mangadex.org/title/41838/ebony

Bahahah omg he looks evil there! But our dearest archduke is hardly that aww. Soz, I just ripped off the covers of the manhwa cos I can’t find a panel I liked more than another. I mean, this manhwa is a GEM. I can’t even begin to describe this because everything about it blew me away. This is not something you read when you are craving for fluff, or just wanna have something brainless after a hard day at work or if you just wanna have some eye candy lol. This is something you pick up on a weekend, when you have time, because you need those hours to digest, appreciate, clutch your chest, tear a little because you find yourself falling in love with these characters. It doesn’t have any of that cliche isekai, romance, revenge themes going on. It has a solid plot, backed by incredible characters, beautifully woven by the authors and artist with incredible pacing that keeps you on your toes and keeps you looking forward to the next chapter. Maybe I would have been happier if I found it after it was completed lol. HAVE I CONVINCED YOU ENOUGH TO MAKE YOU WANNA READ IT?! like, idk, just go. JUST GO READ IT GDI. 

p.s. it says there romance but naaaaaaah, dont go in with that expectation. :) this story is so much more than that. 

2. Bring the love

https://mangadex.org/title/44472/bring-the-love

This...this!!! THIS MANHWA NEEDS MORE LOVE. If you need a lot of fluff, a little, ok maybe quite a bit of sadness and tragedy, sweet sweet romance, cutie pies, please, look no further!!! Again, pacing, character development are so important to me and this manhwa aces it. I love the 2 MCs very much. And the side characters too. :)

3.  A Stepmother's Märchen

https://mangadex.org/title/39474/a-stepmother-s-m-rchen

When I first read this, i fucking cried. like please don’t ask me why. it’s not like its an absolute tragedy but I was just rooting for the MC so much and I really want for everything to go her way. That’s how much I adore this MC!!! I LOVE HER. I LOVE HER MORE THAN YOU DO NORA! HAHAHHA. okay soz. I need to keep this spoiler-free.

Anyhoo, there is nothing typical about this time travel plot. Sure, she goes back to try to undo the stuff that went wrong but phew, she certainly changed things so much everything that comes her way have made it so her previous experiences can hardly help aaaaaaand that’s what makes it fun! I sometimes wish the pacing could be a little more consistent, and there could be more characters I could love a little more wholeheartedly (so i wont have to be in so much despair when i read this sometimes lol) but omg the art, isn’t it pretty?! I’ve re-read this soooooo many times but the art blows me away all the time. And have I already mentioned how much I love her?! I LOVE YOU SHULI! AND I WANT YOU TO BE HAPPY!

4.  Lady Baby

https://mangadex.org/title/34691/lady-baby

I literally LOL-ed when I saw this cover. WHO THE HELL ARE THEY. WHAT LADY BABY?! ehehehe. okay anyway, uhm, this is already incredibly popular. im not sure if i need to elaborate but yes, it’s adorbs!!! i dont think i like the MC as much as i love her family lol. and everyone else who adores her. im looking forward to when they get older. :) actually not really. please stay cute for as long as yall can! but yeah, i do wish the plot can move a lil faster. i want to see more character development in the other kids too COME ON! 

5.  Death Is the Only Ending for the Villainess

https://mangadex.org/title/47754/death-is-the-only-ending-for-the-villainess

am i allowed to reveal how shallow i am rn? like the previous choices were all like ‘wow-deep-plot’, ‘wow-character-development’ and this one i just included cos of AESTHETICS ALONE?! the novel covers are breathtaking!!! the manhwa art is amazing as well. and the harem is great! LOL. as for plot... uhm... it’s alright. it’s pretty engaging and i quite like the MC, she’s smart and independent and i love how she views them all antagonistically at all times HAHAHHA. her past is kinda... weird though and i do wish they’d stop referencing it. cos... girl why do you wanna go back to reality!!! stay here! it’s way more exciting! 

i love the whole isekai/reincarnate/transmigration theme and this is honestly one of the better, not-so-cliche or cheesy ones HA.

6.  Beware of the Villainess!

https://mangadex.org/title/47286/beware-of-the-villainess

do you already see the whole villainess theme?! am i suppose to start feeling embarrassed about my choices?! NO! cos this one is AWESOME!

again, another wildly popular title. for good reasons. it’s hilarious, our MC is as real and candid as it gets and LOOK AT THAT BLUE HAIRED BEAUTY. DO YOU SEE HIM?! IMPLANT HIM INTO YOUR MEMORY NOW!

it’s highly entertaining and breaks all isekai-reincarnation-villainess plot stereotypes. definitely one of the titles i look forward to every week.

7.  Who Made Me a Princess

https://mangadex.org/title/32506/who-made-me-a-princess

what? why did i choose this?

BECAUSE OF CLAUDE OF COURSE. ahahaha. okay aside from the amaaaaaaazing art and the beautiful people, the plot is not too bad. a little extreme at times but it’s interesting enough to keep me going. it’s currently on hiatus though and i was highly annoyed by how the first season ended. (YOU WANNA KNOW WHAT HAPPENED? NOTHING.)

i hope the plot can move faster in the next season! and that our dearest MC athanasia can you know, finally be a little more useful... like omg just tell lucas already!!! and tbh girl, no matter which guy you choose, i approve. :D 

8.  The Flower That Was Bloomed by a Cloud

https://mangadex.org/title/37648/the-flower-that-was-bloomed-by-a-cloud

i featured this before, mostly out of frustration HAHAHA. do you see why i chose this cover?! yeah, i support this (unpopular) pairing okay! the other one is doomed!!! no matter what the author is trying to do now!! I DONT SUPPORT IT!!! lol.

anyway, i had to feature this cos the art is unique! and the story is great. :) and i looooooove listening to the ost while i read it. it starts out kinda slow but as the pace picks up, you won’t be able to stop. and you find yourself conflicted at various points. it did win an award for a reason. 

no matter what, i still think dowun is best for her okay. it’s dowun or nothing. he’s devoted to her, we all know that! he just needs to ditch that annoying female guard!!! ok yknw what, maybe nothing is better. :/ *cries*

9.  Solo Leveling

https://mangadex.org/title/31477/solo-leveling

why do i even bother? this manhwa is popular enough. 

the art is great. the MC is great. i use him and his gang as my wallpaper. 

im just not sure i like how this season’s plot is progressing. :/ but i guess it brings us nearer to solving the mystery in the first leg of the manhwa. i just enjoyed the whole part of him leveling up and now that he isn’t really leveling up anymore... idk. am i hoping for more plot shit like bleach (oh wow now u quincy?)... idk man. anywho, no regrets starting on this series and marathon-ing it to death. 

cross fingers the plot picks up and doesnt get too complicated for its own good.

10.  The Reason Why Raeliana Ended Up at the Duke's Mansion

https://mangadex.org/title/31606/the-reason-why-raeliana-ended-up-at-the-duke-s-mansion

okay, tbh, by the time i reached 10, i still have like 15 other series i was considering LMAO. i even considered lengthening this top 10 to top 15. but that would just be more of me and my nonsense. so... why did i choose this?

COS I LOVE THE 2 MCs!!! they’re adorable. the plot is again, kinda far-fetched at times (i literally laugh my head off at some parts) but it’s isekai-reincarnation okay! anything is possible in whatever magical crap country you end up in! lol. and i like how straightforward it is... in the sense there’s no 2nd lead. like okay i mean they are there but we all know they have no chance. oops. sorry!

and cos i can’t give up on the other titles i have, imma just list them down, without pictures... cos im tired. HA. 

11. Doctor Elise 

https://mangadex.org/title/29474/doctor-elise 

Kudos to the huge improvement in art style lmao. The good... lovable MCs, engaging plot. The bad... sometimes lengthy, incredulous medical moments (i work in the medical field so i... idk. sometimes this borders on iryu LMAO and i need to remind myself this is romance) otherwise, this is a highly highly entertaining read.

12.  Seduce the Villain's Father

https://mangadex.org/title/46775/seduce-the-villain-s-father

This is another of my ‘father-love’ whims. MC is adorable and ML is handsome. enough said.

13.  The Villainess Lives Twice

https://mangadex.org/title/49644/the-villainess-lives-twice

This is like a lesser version of Ebony and Bring the Love combined HAHAHA. The plot and premise is great and it’s awesome to marathon! I don’t find myself loving the MC as much as I should but the ML is a darling! I just find her a little toooooooo gloomy. Like come on girl, be more spunky! 

14.  The Stereotypical Life of a Reincarnated Lady

https://mangadex.org/title/46790/the-stereotypical-life-of-a-reincarnated-lady

I dont know why I like this so much HAHAHAHA. It hardly has a plot. I just find the MC and ML amusing i guess lol. 

15.  I'm Stanning the Prince

https://mangadex.org/title/45586/i-m-stanning-the-prince

Sometimes I wonder if I should be ranking this higher but I kinda feel this manhwa is trying to achieve too much with an underpowered MC. I love her... but I just don’t like how she’s just a pawn of everyone else and I dont know how she can change this situation of hers. It’s cute though. the MC and ML.  and the ML reminds me so much of american/jap Mackenyu. 

16.  The Villainess Reverses the Hourglass

I HAD TO. the art is so pretty! but girl, dont use the hour glass so much! you look a little too old! i would appreciate it if MC stops basing too much of her moves on the “past” tho like idk you are gonna sound unoriginal soooooon like develop your own thoughts soon okay? <3

17. Inso's Law

ANOTHER ONE. omg. im a lil on the fence regarding this but i like MC too much. and her harem LOL. i dont see where the plot is going either but i just hope for a happy end... ):

18.  Why Are You Doing This, Duke?

HAHAHA. this is sooooo sooooooo cute, i would have ranked it top 15 if it wasnt licensed by tapas tho cos they are a joke. WHY NOT TAPPY GDI. 

19.  Miss Not-So Sidekick

Uh-oh. Is this a top-20 list now? anyway, the MC for this series is GOLD. im not liking where it’s currently heading tho thus the lower ranking.

20.  IRIS - Lady with a Smartphone

omg IVE NEGLECTED THIS FOR TOO LONG. lemme go buy more chapters hahahaha. it’s a tad too lengthy... otherwise i like the MC and yummy ML!

still not enough?

Special Mentions - Okay, these will be unranked cos I don’t think these are that good but probably still worth a read.

I've Become the Villainous Empress of a Novel - this is new, im looking forward to how it progresses wheeeee.

Lady to Queen - It’s a ruthless manhwa. There was a point i started reading all sorts of sadistic content (i was running out of content i swear) and this was one of the better ones. I appreciate the MC very much. the plot now is a little weird and im a bit wary of the MC’s sister... hopefully the ML can be more useful. he’s pitiful though. but dude come on, dont rely on the wrong gal.

Goodbye, In-law - I’m not sure if i like the current progress buuuuuuut MC and ML are cute so who cares.

The Duchess' 50 Tea Recipes - plot is still engaging. MC and ML are cute. i dont know where the plot is heading towards though. 

A Falling Cohabitation - this is interesting and fun but a lil lengthy.

Light and Shadow - the sequel is out!!! i highly enjoyed this entire series!!! i would have probably ranked it a lil higher if i did this post earlier but too many series have overtaken this in my heart lol.

This Girl Is a Little Wild - is the hiatus ending yet? i would add it back to top 20 if it came back LOL. it’s highly entertaining tho. ML is adorable.

The Duchess With an Empty Soul  - pretty nice. MC and ML are a little boring. i think it can end soon. LMAO.

A Capable Maid - it’s amusing how she gets her powers for all sorts of situations lol. the prince is creepy tbh. and im secretly rooting for the other king hehe.

Beware of the Brothers! - it’s cute and heart-wrenching at the same time! not too sure im digging the latest plot development but okay... i’ll take it. they’re all cuties.

Living as the Tyrant's Older Sister - hehehe. it’s cute. duke is kinda silly but the latest chapter made me squeal!!!

The Evil Lady's Hero  - idk where the plot is going but MC and ML are adorable!!!

The Dragon Next Door - HAHAHA. it’s hilarious.

The Youngest Princess - she’s growing uppppp noooooooooooo

Virtues of the Villainess - ginger is hilarious. i dont see where the plot is going tho... and cant say i like the ML yet. i dont even get to see him much, hello?!

The Justice of Villainous Woman - pretty wholesome... i like the MC! (the ML is fine. no one else to contend with so...) can u end already?! lol.

Amina of the Lamp - hey, what happened to this? it’s pretty inconsistent but i do like the MC and ML... and the art...

The Villain's Savior - this is some sadistic shit. i reserve it for when i feel sadistic. i pretty much wanna see MC happy but idk if she’s making the right choices. :/

I Don't Want to Be Empress! - HAHAHAHA uhm it’s getting interesting. i just want ML to step up more... 

La dolce vita di Adelaide - I FINISHED THIS! and it’s wholesome, feel-good and cute. some parts felt a lil extra but ah whatever.

The Black Haired Princess - plot. move. faster!!! otherwise the MC and ML are pretty cute.

The Abandoned Empress - im a lil on the fence but i know how popular this series is. it started out HORRIBLE. i hated the ML so much. and then i found the green hair boy creepy. like MC, you need better taste in boys. it’s certainly getting more interesting now though. so please, continue to make my money’s worth!!!

Lucia - i. am. not. guilty. of. anything. *smut warning* anyway go read the novel. it’s better. hehehe.

What's Wrong with Secretary Kim - i do not need to elaborate any further. 

Past loves 

I created this section just to remind myself, that what i could like one day, i could hate the next LOL.

The Monster Duchess and Contract Princess - I know this is wildly popular. but i lost interest in it once she grew up. i dont think she’s particularly lovable. soz.

Survive as the Hero's Wife - another popular choice. I find the plot kinda boring now. MC and ML are cute though. 

Sincerely: I Became a Duke's Maid - another popular one. again, boring plot. like cant it end yet? oh you mean we need to wait for the real female lead to show up? dont need luh.

I Am a Child of This House - wow. the plot is shit now. and i do not support the MC and her guard. soz. she’s OVERPOWERED tbh. 

This Is an Obvious Fraudulent Marriage - idk what happened but my enthusiasm for this died.

Charlotte and Her 5 Disciples - i don’t get it. i dont get their obsession for her. 

[maggielindemanns]

all mixed up - an elu social media au

summary: it’s simple really - eliott meets a guy at the bar, that guy gives him a fake number, and that fake number just so happens to belong to lucas. the rest is history.

[NINETEEN PART TWO]

[note: i’m putting my note here at the top this time but here is nineteen part two aka how the date went! i’m like . Scared to put my writing up but you know what, fear is my enemy and i’m posting to spite her so ! here is 3k words of elu date in the amu-verse i love you guys giving you all smooches on your foreheads <3 was gonna post this yesterday but i was attacked by the river i went tubing at so here she is rn instead <3]

    Thoughts of nerves and excitement were crashing into each other and around the walls of Eliott’s head space at a million miles a second as he made his way to Lucas’ dorm. His heart didn’t even feel like it was beating at this rate, more like slamming against his rib cage and rattling up the butterflies existing in his stomach. He made sure to send Lucas a warning text once he was down the hall — “countdown from 30 & i’ll be there”. Lucas, 'ever the charmer having such a way with words, simply loved the text in lieu of an actual response.

Once in front of Lucas’ door, he took a deep breath before knocking gently, stepping back after to await an answer. Every second felt like forever to him, especially when he could hear Lucas shuffling around on the other side of the door. He just couldn’t wait to do this, he couldn’t wait to actually have Lucas to himself for real.

Lucas opening the door suddenly pulled Eliott from his thoughts, overwriting the mess in his head with thoughts of Lucas instead. He looked at Eliott, seeming pleasantly surprised, and smiled brightly at him. Eliott wanted to give him the world and then some.

“Demaury,” he greeted, “hey.”

“Hey yourself. Ready to go?”

“Of course. You look so good, I’m kinda jealous. Am I under dressed?”

“No, you’re perfect.”

“Oh stop,” Lucas scoffed, starting to lead the way out already, “let’s go before you hit me with any more corny lines.”

Eliott just smiled, following Lucas close behind. He got the door for Lucas going out of his building, grabbing his hand before he could walk too far ahead. Lucas didn’t let go, though, actually giving his hand a squeeze and smiling at him. The silence as they walked to Eliott’s car hand in hand was comfortable and familiar, and Lucas loved it.

When they both got into the car, Eliott went to start it, but hummed as if remembering something. Lucas watched Eliott reach into the back seat as he put his seat belt on, his brows furrowed.

“What are you doing?” Lucas asked, and Eliott wordlessly presented a lavender rose, seeming proud of himself. He looked between the rose and Eliott a few times before dumbly asking, “Is that for me?” and Eliott nodded, handing it to him. He turned it over in his hands before looking at Eliott again, his chest tight with the slight urge to cry. Yes, he was emotional over a single flower, sue him.

“I didn’t take you as the type for grand gestures,” Eliott explained, “but... something small to remember tonight is nice, right? Even if everything goes to shit and you hate me after this, at least we started on the right foot.”

“I could never hate you, this is so sweet, Eliott. Thank you.”

“You don’t need to thank me. You deserve nice things. Always.”

Lucas just smiled slightly and watched Eliott start his car, starting to tell a story about a basil plant he accidentally killed. Lucas found himself oddly endeared by that, as well as his story about how he Jackson Pollock-ed his way through an entire semester. That led Lucas to tell him stories of how he tried multiple times to get out of gym back in high school with absurd ailments, one time even trying to use appendicitis as an excuse. That cracked Eliott right up, and Lucas was proud of that. He loved making Eliott laugh, it was his favorite thing.

They eventually were pulling into the parking lot of a very cozy looking building. “Len’s Den” was lit up brightly across the top of the building on a sign, and vased plants marked the entrance, along with a glowing, red open sign. Eliott shut the engine off after putting the car in park and looked at Lucas.

“I told him about you,” is what came out of Eliott’s mouth. Lucas must’ve made a face of confusion because Eliott laughed a bit before elaborating. “Len, I told Len.”

“Like...owner, Len?”

“Yeah. It sounds so random, but he’s been looking out for me since high school. I’ve done it all in here — cried, yelled, laughed, all three at the same time maybe?” Lucas chuckled at that, and Eliott smiled a little. “Point is, Len’s taken care of me in ways I don’t have words good enough to thank him for. He’s important to me, and so are you. I hope it was okay that I did.”

I told him about you. He’s important to me, and so are you. Those words were echoing in Lucas’ brain, doing a number on his emotions. It was heady to think that he was important to Eliott, so much so that he wanted to tell people about him.

“Yeah, that’s—I’m honored. That’s always okay, really.”

There was a beat of silence between them, the two of them just smiling and looking at each other for a moment. Eliott broke their gaze by starting to get out and Lucas followed suit, his nerves creeping back up on him suddenly.

How he was supposed to last an entire night of Eliott being Eliott was something he wasn’t sure of. Maybe if he didn’t think about it too much, the obvious would become clear - that being with each other was easy. They’ve done this before. Easy.

Upon entering, a few things caught Lucas’ eye - the photo booth in a far corner surrounded by countless strips of pictures, a piano set in the corner across, art littering the walls that resembled things he’s seen in Eliott’s apartment. Other pictures and band posters covered the walls, too, but nothing Lucas was familiar with. Eliott grabbing one of his hands and gently pulling him along shifted his focus back to him.

“You’ve got your thinky face on,” Eliott told him, “what’s on your mind?”

“Nothing, I just...like how you this place is.”

“Just screams art-kid-trying-to-find-a-place-in-the-world, huh?” he asked with a crinkle of his nose. Lucas smiled and nodded.

“Oh, a hundred percent, yes. Now let’s get some mac and cheese bites in our system, they are what brought us here after all.”

Eliott brought them over to the bar space where they sat close to each other, Eliott noting Lucas’ slight struggle to get onto the tall chair. He laughed a little on accident, and Lucas kicked his chair, mumbling for him to shut up.

Lucas let Eliott kind of take the lead here, ordering for the both of them with confidence that Lucas admired. Eliott in his element was always lovely to witness, no matter what. Conversation points never ran out as they sat and chatted (even when the heavenly bites did, Lucas ate two rounds of them), and Eliott even got him to take photo booth pictures with him at one point. Lucas being fussy about how the pictures were coming out made Eliott laugh so, so much. Lucas was shocked no one came over and was concerned with what was happening in this booth.

“To have not wanted to take these to begin with, you sure have a lot of opinions,” Eliott teased, and Lucas rolled his eyes, pushing his head gently and telling him to focus. Being in close proximity like this with a beautiful boy like Lucas was not helping him in the crush department, not by any means.

To only be date number one, Lucas felt like he had known Eliott forever, and the idea scared him a little bit. To know someone for only a handful of weeks and feel like everything is new and yet so familiar and safe between them already was a lot for him. He didn’t usually do this, he didn’t usually allow himself to get to this point. Infatuation with no return. But he kind of liked it. A lot.

Soon enough, it was just the two of them left as patrons, the only other person in the store being Len himself, waiting to lock up. He didn’t even make an attempt to kick them out, though, and Lucas had a feeling Eliott had something to do with that. Rather than dwell on that thought, however, Lucas found himself wandering over to the piano, Eliott following close behind.

“Piano’s lovely,” he commented, taking a seat. Lucas took note of all the etching done into the piano, making him wonder if one day he would get to add to them. There were people's initials inside hearts, stickers scattered on it, and messy scrawl in sharpie of people who came here before him. He pat the seat next to him to get Eliott to sit beside him and he did, their knees touching and arms brushing against each other.

“It’s old as shit, honestly. In tune, though. I tagged it somewhere way back when, actually.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. Somewhere here...” His voice trailed off as he scanned the surface of the piano with his eyes, eventually humming in recognition and pointing for Lucas to see. Lucas smiled, realizing it was a raccoon, and nudged his arm gently. “What?”

“You and these raccoons, Demaury.”

“Spirit animal, what can I say.”

“Oh man, you’re a trip,” he sighed, plucking a few random keys of the piano. Eliott started laughing and Lucas gave him a look. “What?”

“Nothing. Just wanna say Len’s got a triangle if you wanna mess with that instead.”

“Oh, shut up, as if you play.”

“I’ll have you know I can play the Star Wars theme,” he scoffed, starting to pluck out the first few keys. “Mmh, and I do a mean Für Elise cover.”

“Cover? What the hell?”

Eliott simply started playing the first few notes slowly but surely. It sounded familiar to Lucas’ ears, at least until Eliott started playing a bunch of meaningless mess. Lucas laughed at that genuinely, like, belly aching laughter. Eliott stopped playing and looked at him, something warm erupting in his chest resembling love, but not quite there yet. Adoration, maybe, but strong. So strong, Eliott had to refrain from just grabbing his face and kissing him right then and there. He almost couldn’t think of anything else as he sat there, smiling fondly at the boy beside him.

Lucas wiped at his eyes, calming down after a minute or so and looked at Eliott, clearly amused. He cleared his throat and tried to be serious, nodding once. Eliott tried to stop smiling too, but he knew he was failing greatly.

“Mister Demaury, I have to say,” Lucas spoke, “I think you have a fine career as a pianist in the near future.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“Why thank you. Means a lot from you, you know, since you’re an expert and all.” Lucas got the sense that Eliott was teasing him a little, and he looked at him, squinting a bit. “What? I was being genuine.”

“No, you weren’t, you’re an asshole.”

“Well. Prove me wrong, c’mon.”

“Let me think,” Lucas told him, sitting up properly and getting his hands on the keys. He decided to play one of the only songs that came to mind right now, one of the first songs he ever learned - I Love You by RIOPY.

He plucked out the opening keys slowly, feeling Eliott’s eyes on him, watching intently. Once he got a good feel for the piano, he played with more confidence and ease, not missing a beat. He surprised himself, granted he hadn’t played much in a while with school and everything, but he was glad he still had it in him. As focused as he was, he felt Eliott’s eyes shift to his face, and that made him glance over at him mid-playing, taking note of the glint of wonder in his eyes. He looked away before he could start to think about it too much, but what he wasn’t aware of was how Eliott decided that in this moment, he liked surprising people. And Lucas was surprising.

When Lucas plucked out the final notes, he took his hands off and slowly looked at Eliott, who was smiling brightly. Lucas suddenly felt shy under his gaze - he’d never actually played anything for someone before, at least not a piece in seriousness like this. Silence hung between them for a moment before Eliott spoke.

“Way to show me up, Lallemant,” he said, and Lucas smiled back at him.

“It’s no Star Wars theme, but...” Lucas shrugged, non-verbally finishing the thought. Eliott kept looking at him and seemed to be thinking about what he was going to say next.

“Lucas, can I be honest with you?”

The question caught Lucas off guard, his heart hoping for the best but his brain thinking of worst case scenarios. He pushed those to the back of his mind, though, and nodded instead.

“I...am in so deep with you. The way I feel with you is unlike anything I’ve ever felt before.”

“Eliott—“

“Forgive me if that’s super forward but...I have to tell you, I’d go nuts if I didn’t.”

“Can I be honest, too?”

“Sure.”

Lucas felt his heart beating in his ears, his nerves creeping up on him. Being with Eliott was the easy part. Having feelings for Eliott and sharing said feelings was the hard part.

“I really, really like you too,” he said finally, “more than anyone I’ve ever met. Ever.”

Several more beats passed between them, the silence becoming the loudest thing in the room. The tension was suddenly palpable, too, at least to Lucas, and every thought that passed through his brain became nothing but please kiss me, please kiss me, please kiss me.

As if able to hear Lucas’ thoughts, Eliott took hold of his face in his hands before leaning in, just close enough for Lucas to close his eyes for a moment. He opened them enough to look at him when nothing happened, and Eliott smiled just a little.

“Is it okay? To kiss you, is that okay?” he asked. Lucas scoffed, making Eliott laugh.

“Yes, obviously, please do,” he told him quietly, and in that moment, their lips met and Lucas felt whole.

It felt like Lucas had waited his whole life for this moment - the kiss that all the books he’s read and movies he’s seen in his life talked about. The kiss that had your skin thrumming with desire for more, that made life feel like a movie, like sparks were flying. That’s what it was like to kiss Eliott. It was better than he could ever imagine it being, and he wished he could bottle this feeling up and carry it with him everywhere at all times.

When Eliott pulled away, Lucas felt dizzy with it, slowly opening his eyes and his brain feeling like a bunch of exclamation points were going through it. Eliott started to smile, but Lucas leaned back in, kissing him one last time to make sure it was real.

“Fuck, I’m so in love with you,” Eliott whispered, and Lucas wanted to scream from the rooftops about this moment. He wanted to live in this moment and with this feeling for all time.

•••••••

Lucas woke up comfortably warm, almost too comfortably, swimming in clothes that were definitely not his own. The only sound in the room was the gentle hum of a fan and traffic passing outside, letting Lucas know he was not at his dorm. That, and the fact that the room was too big anyway. The bed was also dipping beside him and he turned his head to find a very sleep ridden Eliott laying beside him. Eliott looked like an angel, the sunlight hitting him in the most beautiful of ways. If Lucas was a photographer at all, he’d be trying to capture this moment.

“Time?” Lucas mumbled, and Eliott blindly grabbed his phone to look, squinting at how bright it was.

“9:17.”

“Jeez...”

“Good morning to you too,” Eliott laughed, and Lucas breathed deeply, snuggling closer to him. Eliott wrapped an arm around him and pressed a kiss to his forehead, not saying anything else.

“You’re thinking so loudly right now.”

“Yeah?”

“Mhm. What?”

“Well...I’m lucky you’re here. Happy.”

“And?”

“I...have a proposition.”

“It’s 9:17 in the morning and you’re already using words like proposition? You’re unreal, Demaury.”

“Not the fact that I have one, just the word itself. You’re funny.”

“What’s your proposition?” he asked, looking up at him. Eliott continued to look up at his ceiling.

“My final. I want you in it. I want us to be in it.” Lucas made a curious noise, and Eliott continued. “I’ve struggled with a concept for months, like, since this course started, and I thought I had one. I really did. But I’m stuck with that and re-inspired, and...I want to do it on intimacy and human connection. I have to write a paper with it, so I wanna do that.”

Lucas sat up and looked at him, understanding what it had to do with him suddenly. Eliott looked at him, as if waiting for some kind of reaction.

“You hate it,” Eliott decided, and Lucas shook his head, running his hands through Eliott’s hair and smiling a little.

“No, just...intrigued, I guess. You’re makin’ a model out of me, Demaury, please just say you’re not putting us on a billboard.”

“No, no billboards,” he laughed, ���just my professor. And the art panel at our school because they’re choosing one project to go in a gallery walk at the end of the semester.”

“Can we eat first? So I can think about it?”

“Of course. Please don’t be scared to tell me no, too, it’s okay,” Eliott insisted, grabbing one of his hands and pressing a kiss to the back of it. “It’s just a thought right now.”

“Okay.”

“Is now the time to tell you I’m the worst chef on planet Earth? Or should I have kept that in the vault?”

“In the vault, I’m out of here now,” he teased, and Eliott pulled the pillow from under his head and hit Lucas with it, making him laugh out loud.

taglist: @that-one-meh @a-french-disaster @fallout-of-my-chair @menamesniall @iamshannonmcfarland @yesyoutubeisruiningmylife @yackgrace @choupiauriant @xomywonderwallox @jacwena @awake-dreamer18 @noorakviigmohn @lost-inside-fantasy @myverybigmoodboard @ariavds @didntgowithgrace @laurenkmyers @sunshineyou27 @nanidice @orangefizz4 @blanxkey @bodizzy @q-branchminion-nr43 @nova-on-standbi @boysrunaway @anothergayhpblog @mlhalbertt @valenschmidt @skamchokehold @mostlysh1tposting @lucassdemaury @oceanicinception @yellowballoon @fallinglikeafoolforyou @bluronyourradar @painfully-oblivious @alwayskissmeatnight @katzen-kinder @howlingsaturn @luxandobscurus @anotherplaceintheuniverse @aly-kazam​ @quint-cssential

[archive link <3]

[PART ONE || TWENTY]

[autumn-foxfire]

A couple of disjointed notes on jjk designs

Along with female characters having you know personalities, motivations and arcs they also have very nice and non sexualized designs. Like its been so long since i saw so many female characters non of which felt like they were dressed up a certain way for the audiences sake. Like we got so many! We got five known girls out of just students so far and they all have varied designs in the way they wear their uniform and all of them seem to speak more about their personal sense of style and aesthetics rather than being made with horny teenage boy in mind. Like Maki has the shortest dress but she never once feels sexualized in it, its really great.

N like i didnt fully expect this because i remember watching the first ep and seeing yujis classmate get groped by a curse n sitting there like ah :) anime. But i think this was something that was on its way out of geges artstyle even then (with exception of meimeis brand new almost tit shot but meimei already makes me uber uncomfy so thats not out of line considering we barely see anything). Like in the prequel we also see a woman get groped by a curse n maki isnt wearing her hhh whats the english word stockings? So her legs are more bare but even then we dont ever see like anything we arent supposed to even tho she like does splits n stuff, mad impressive. So that leaves to me an impression that even back then Gege was hhh about this sort of stuff n maybe did it here or there cuz 'this is how shonen is done' but fortunatly decided to completely drop it by the time Nobara joined the team n honestly mad props cuz its rare that a manga makes me feel so comfortable about liking female characters, like off the top of my head id name nozaki kun n ouran and have beastars balance on that line sorta, its just so rare, especially in anime. N as a woman its so much easier to relate and love the female cast when they arent constantly being presented as blow up sex dolls. Its just really refreshing n really good n god bless geges soul for putting miwa in a suit to joy of every lesbian ever bls give her a scythe next BLS.

On a slightly different note, Momos anime design....YIKES. Like i think the anime so far did a p good job with colors, as far as im aware they changed toges color scheme p much entierly n he looks great, yuji has this dusty pink that looks real nice n maki has this dark green that looks very good. Miwa is sitting on a line for me tbh like she looks ok but i do think her hair color should have been idk like a little less pure blue? Little less saturated? Idk art lingo, but for me shes sitting on a line of 'she looks ok but ciuld have been better'. Like its weird in the op she looks nicer, the lighting gives her hair this silver-whitey feel that works very well for her but then in the anime her hair is just a tad bit too bright blue for me, still digestible tho.

Momo in my humble opinion looks like a disaster n im not just saying that cuz for some reason i thought her hair was sorta dusty pink like yujis. Like her hair is just so...bright. its this weird lemoney yellow that is such an eyesore n distracts me whenever i see a group photo, likw my eyes immidietly fly to her she sticks out like a sore thumb between everyone else with more natural looking/ better made unnstural colors. Like maybe if they went with a darker or more natural looking blonde??? Idk. Her hair is very bright n her face is the sort of pinkish pale n the two colors together seem to at the same time clash n melt into each other where at the same time the outline between her face n hair doesnt seem clear n they both just scream at you. Ill probably get used to it as the anime goes on but rn the prevailing feeling is '...is it too late to fix that?'

Oh also gojos eyes have been bothering me less so i think i got used to them after all, but mad props to both gege n the mappa (it botheres me more in anime cuz also color) to be able to convey a feeling of an ultimate top of the chain predator through eyes alone like SKILL. i think they also bother me cuz without his blindfold gojo just looks like a completely different character to me like if you showed me the two pics of him before i watched/read jjk i would probs say those are brothers not the same person. In conclusion im basically like a baby who starts crying when her dad shaves off his beared cuz she cant recognize him anymore.

That ends my notes on design for now

XD Lucy, I’m so glad you’ve fallen in love with JJK like I have. 

It’s a really interesting manga and I can’t wait for the anime to animate everying we’ve seen from the manga so far (it’ll hurt so good T-T). I especially love the girls designs because they just feel so much more... natural, then most female designs you get in anime. They feel like girls (also, can I just say how much I love how excited Nobara was to get a tracksuit of all things. It’s not something you really see in manga/anime and yet a girl that gets excited over comfy clothes is so much real to me XD).

I have similar feelings about Miwa’s hair. It’s way too bright in comparison to the rest of the anime designs, they should have dimmed it or something, she just stands out in a way that she shouldn’t have (though I do admit that I like the colour of blue... I’m so conflicted). And I don’t really mind Momo’s hair too much though I do think it could have been better colour of blonde (JJK using bright colours even though it’s such a heart-breaking anime T-T).

Gege and Mappa really did do a great job though T-T

[shuheather]

50 questions

tagged by: @azfool ty these are fun !!

1. What is the color of your hair brush? I use a thick toothed comb these days and it is black

2. Name a food you never eat? Beef

3. Are you typically too warm or too cold? Lately I’ve been too cold like every day but my heat tolerance is miserable

4. What were you doing 45 minutes ago? Probably checking my work slack

5. Whats your favorite candy bar? Twix all the way bb

6. Have you ever been to a professional sports game? Yes, mostly baseball (at least Cubs, Indians, Orioles, and Red Sox but maybe more), I’ve been to some indoor football games if that counts? Also do you consider yoyoing a professional sport because I’ve been to a million yoyo competitions because of my brother

7. What was the last thing you said out loud? Something in response to one of my brothers about a video game probably

8. What is your favorite ice cream? Chocolate Chip Cheesecake from J. P. Licks (if they ever bring it back I WILL go great lengths to get some) but of the attainable variety honestly anything that has a good amount of chocolate, no fruit, and no nuts

9. What was the last thing you had to drink? Water from my water bottle

10. Do you like your wallet? Honestly not really I never use it, I just keep one of those pockets on the back of my phone for the three cards I need most at any given moment

11. What was the last thing you ate? I had a bowl of Frosted Flakes for breakfast

12. Did you buy any new clothes last weekend? No but the weekend before I thrifted a flannel that I am very excited about

13. What was the last sporting event you watched? Stanley cup final

14. What is your favorite flavor of popcorn? I could eat any sort of lightly salted popcorn for years on end but buttered is good too as long as it’s not too much. Movie theater popcorn makes my stomach upset though so no more of that

15. Who was the last person you sent a text to? Olivia

16. Ever go camping? Yes but not since I was a child

17. Do you take your vitamins? I don’t buy them on my own but when my mom tries to get me to eat gummy vitamins I say no

18. Do you regularly attend a place of worship? Whenever I’m outside I stop to look up at the treetops and the clouds a lot does that count

In all seriousness no my parents never cared about religion much so it’s not something I’ve ever been into

19. Do you have a tan? My Chaco tan from this summer is still going pretty strong but it is fading

20. Do you prefer Chinese or pizza? Chinese 100%

21. Do you drink soda through a straw? I don’t drink soda so undefined

22. What color socks do you usually wear? I always wear funny patterned socks that either I buy or other people buy for me. Common themes include cats, space, and food

23. Do you ever drive above the speed limit? Honestly yes but I try not to do more than 10 mph over

24. What terrifies you? The future of my country, that everyone I interact with secretly hates me, suffocation (but especially drowning)

25. Look to the left, what do you see? Phone, water bottle, pencil holder I sculpted in high school containing pens and honey sticks, my wall of art/letters/quotes/etc that makes me happy

26. What chore do you hate doing the most? Doing the dishes is hard sometimes

27. What do you think when you hear an Australian accent? I’m bad at separating out Australian accents from English/NZ/etc accents tbh so usually I’m just like ??? trying to figure out where they’re from

28. What’s your favorite soda? I don’t drink soda so undefined

29. Do you go in fast food places or just hit the drive thru? So I don’t eat a ton of fast food these days because their vegetarian options are often few or nonexistent however if I go to Taco Bell I always go in or order online because I do so many modifications that I would be embarassed to dictate it to a person and I would rather just input it on an order screen. Otherwise if I have my order together I’ll drive through as long as the line isn’t significantly longer than the line inside

30. What is your favorite number? I know it’s basic of me to pick my birthday number but 24 probably

31. Who’s the last person you talked to? like, out loud? My youngest brother

32. Favorite cut of beef? I don’t eat beef so undefined

33. Last song you listened too? I listen to music while I work a lot but it’s never music that I know because then my brain latches onto it, so I’m currently listening to Lucky Sue by Men I Trust on my discover weekly but the last song I knew was Just the Two of Us by Grover Washington and Bill Withers

34. Last book you read? I am currently in the middle of The Starless Sea by Erin Morgenstern and it is wonderful so far would recommend

35. Favorite day of the week? Saturday because I work 9-5 so it is the only day I am truly free rn

36. Can you say the alphabet backwards? I just tried and my brain went “zyxcvbnm” so no

37. How do you like your coffee? I don’t drink coffee so undefined but as a loophole I will say cookies with coffee in them are REALLY good

38. Favorite pair of shoes? In the summer my chacos, right now my feiyues, in the winter my docs

39. Time you normally get up? I am currently working hard to maintain a sleep schedule so my alarm goes off at 9 but left unsupervised I will wake up any time between 9 and noon

40. Do you prefer sunrise or sunset? If I am seeing the sunrise it usually took some level of sleep deprivation to get there which is usually not good for me in any respect so sunset

41. Describe your kitchen plates? I’m living at home rn so we have a variety which includes my plastic Barbie plate which I think is actually older than me but also these plates that were supposed to be fancy dishware and my mom was like “if we don’t just use these they will sit in a box forever” so now they are our normal dishes

42. How many blankets on your bed? I sleep with a sheet (look I also used to be anti sheet but sleeping in a place with no AC changed me okay) and a comforter. In the winter I might add another blanket but I get warm when I sleep so extra blankets are usually not necessary

43. Describe your kitchen at the moment? There is such thing as having too many spice mixes

44. Do you have a favorite alcoholic drink? I do not drink so no

45. Do you play cards? I used to a lot when I was a kid but now I mostly just play solitaire on my phone

46. What color is your car? I don’t have a car of my own but the car I share with my brother is maroon

47. Can you change a tire? I might need to follow instructions but with instructions I believe I could

48. Favorite state? I don’t think I have a favorite state but if we were doing some sort of mathematical analysis a large amount of my favorite places are currently in Massachusetts

49. Favorite job you’ve ever had? I think probably my current one which is Database/IT stuff for a racial equity nonprofit

50. Tagging: @alnasak because it’s just like the good old days

[caden]

Honestly thank you for saying that. I also don't hate Travis but can't stand the way he goes about proving his "wokeness" he's obviously good natured but his approach is just so off and it's awkward when listening to the other brothers try to swerve around it, being more self aware than he is. I can't listen to the new Adventure Zone arc because her went out of his way to create a disable character and then be like "are you gonna ask me about my wheelchair" it's just too fucking much dude.

This is a super long rant-y response that doesn’t really say much of consequence, but...

yeah i have not enjoyed his arc so far sadly. I’m still going ahead with it for the time being, it’s worth listening to but honestly TAZ hasn’t gripped me all that much since balance. I feel like one of their issues is that balance really really tactically built up to its big emotional dramatic moments, everything felt really natural and just flowed so well-- whereas with these other arcs, I feel like they just jump the gun and try to constantly have dramatic stuff happening without ***earning*** it. The nature of most roleplaying games is just that they’re long form, and IMO the most important element of nailing a podcast like TAZ is making sure that the downtime is really enjoyable-- that means having really charismatic side characters, engaging and open-ended worldbuilding that allows for lots of different situations, and PCs that have clear and interesting motivations. Travis just isn’t a good enough DM to pull that all off. He’s decent at roleplaying IMO, but his personality / skills are just better suited to being a player. He clearly isn’t as good a storyteller as griffin, and even griffin’s storytelling has been strained from time to time. 

I honestly really really really wish that they would play a more Critical Role / MCDM style DnD game, where the worldbuilding took front-stage over the characters, and where it was assumed that the main players would cycle through MULTIPLE characters because their characters could actually die if it was dramatic-- or even just if the players fucked up in combat. I’d love to feel like they were in a setting that allowed them to have guest players on, where the world has internal consistency (unlike the live shows which are always fun but clearly not sustainable for a long-form story), and where the whole thing isn’t all built along railroading players down an ultra long-form epic story in the vein of Balance. Like one thing that’s great about DnD for me is that if you don’t currently feel like you’re gelling with the character you’re playing, you can just make a new character! If the quest you’re on isn’t incredibly engaging, you can tell the DM that you want to explore something in your character’s past or independently pursue some other motivation instead. I really wish they would experiment with a more freeform, noncommittal story, where they could lean into their improvisation skills (which is what they’re very good at) over their storytelling skills (where they're sort of lacking). 

I also feel like-- and this is just an unintended byproduct of the general vibe that they’re going for-- one big problem that I notice with their storytelling is that all of their characters are just like... too good. I feel like they’re so committed to being wholesome and non-stressful that everything about their worlds just has no edge at all. I’m not saying that I want TAZ to be game of thrones, obviously that would suck-- but so much of the conflict in their worlds feels awkward or forced because they don’t create their characters to be as flawed as I think they should. Justin usually being the exception. I think this is reaaaalllllly coming to the forefront in the new arc, Travis just isn’t capable of putting the kind of tension into his stories that Griffin was because he’s too committed to making his world crunchy and chill and, dare I say, woke. But I think the wheelchair thing is coming from a different sort of bad storytelling-- writers put a diverse character into their story and then feel so immediately proud of themselves that they forget to actually make the character interesting or memorable beyond that, inadvertently tokenizing the characters. 

Griffin also did something really smart when he was DMing, which was that he intentionally never told us anyone’s race. He explicitly said that it being an audio medium allowed the listener the freedom to imagine whatever race they want, as well as imagine trans-ness, disability, etc. Which, even though it might sound kind of like a cop-out, is IMO the best way to handle it. If they play characters outside of their race, people will be mad. If they don’t have enough diversity, people will be mad. If they have explicit diversity but portray something insensitively, people will be mad. I personally think that griffin would have been smart enough to do these things sensitively, but he’s always erred on the side of caution. The only exception in balance was them explicitly stating that Lup was a trans woman, which was also handled very well IMO. Travis just isn’t taking that level of subtlety to his DMing because he isn’t as perceptive about these things as Griffin is. He’s stating all this stuff explicitly because he wants people to know that his world is diverse. Which is cool, but it comes with the baggage of actually having to execute that diversity with some level of insight. In this case, I honestly think the players should be more comfortable going ahead and making characters that are explicitly NOT cis white (or white-coded) men. They made the move after balance to start playing women, which was good. The alternative is just constantly having protagonists that, even in fantasy/sci-fi settings, are cis-coded, white-coded, or male-coded. 

All in all, the big issue for me rn with the Mcelroys is that i have much more of a sense now that they’re the types of creators who are entirely just trying to please their fanbase. This is really visible in the style of comedy that they’re doing these days as well. They aren’t trying new things, they’re just finding what’s comfortable, what fans clap for in live shows, and doing more of that. I remember once in a live show they said “okay guys, we’re making a change. we’re no longer gonna allow you guys to ask questions that are just you bragging about a cool thing you did”. That was one of the best decisions they made from a content perspective, lol. Their most interesting work of the last three years has been the Trolls 2 podcast, because it’s stylistically VERY different from their normal stuff, and because NOBODY was asking for it. And as a result, it was able to be a novel, funny concept. I feel like in the age of streamers, youtubers, creators who are basing their brand off of PERSONALITY over CONTENT, we’re gonna be getting more and more of this kind of art. As creators, the Mcelroys aren’t trying to do something new, to create exciting thought-provoking funny content. They’re just repeating the things that have found them the most success. They take the desires of the fans a bit too seriously, which keeps them from going in new directions, because fans can’t validate things that don’t exist yet. The fans shouldn’t be the ones who create new trends or decide the tone of the content. That should be entirely in the hands of the creators. You can sorta tell that at times Griffin and Justin are unhappy about it. I think this was at its worst about a year or so ago, and they’ve realized it and started to work on course-correction. They stopped doing TAZ live shows with the balance characters, which was a good choice. I DON’T think that the issue is that they ran out of ideas, it’s just that they’re overdue for a creative renaissance. I would love it if instead of just doing more TAZ and mbmbam, they continued to do a bunch of small unusual projects in the vein of Trolls 2, the old Monster Factory videos, the new non-DnD TAZ live shows, etc. I’m also enjoying The Besties (I listened to it before it got canned and was excited when it came back), because I feel like Griffin and Justin act more like normal humans on that show and less like Mcelroy brothers. 

WITH ALL THAT SAID, their content is still often very fun, and I think it’s really good that they exist as successful creators. They’re a net positive force in the world, the small attempts people have made to cancel them for dumb shit will always be petty and stupid. They’ve more than earned a spot in the podcasting hall of fame, I don’t think they’re just has-beens, and I will continue to listen to plenty of their stuff for the conceivable future even if it’s not always exactly what I want from them. 

[darkpoisonouslove]

2020 in Words

After the total exhaustion and lack of motivation of the last few months, I have finally found the strength to review 2020. In terms of writing, that is. Otherwise, we ain’t touching that with a 100-foot pole. But anyway, let’s get to the actual good part of 2020 - the writing.

Word Count:

678, 105 words

And that isn’t actually all. I have started various things that 2021 caught still in progress so there are more words to be added to that number but I’ll count them towards whatever time frame I finish them in (I do not even dare assume that all of them will be finished this year).

A little over 1/7th of that word count was accomplished only in March when I wrote over 100k words. Wow, productivity where did you go? I know that the world is going to hell but do you mind coming back? I can use you. I have so many new ideas that I am really excited about but totally lack the energy to actually get to. Hope that will change in the next weeks because there is A Lot going on in my head that I am actually dying to share.

Fandoms:

Winx Club has totally taken over for me. I have barely written five works this year that are not about that show and I just don’t know what is happening anymore. I have so many thoughts and things to discuss and fix about it and I have a feeling that some upcoming events will only reinforce that position. But what truly matters is that it has truly made 2020 more bearable to be in the fandom and write fic. The interactions with other fans have been lovely which is totally worth the brain damage that some experiences over this show have inflicted.

Once Upon a Time lurked until about the half of the year but I can’t say that I have been actively interested in it. I just rewatched 4A for the Frozen Swan interactions and 4B for Cruella De Vil and that was pretty much all of it this year. I think it’s safe to say that at this point I have more or less moved on from the show and I do not expect a miraculous comeback to it. Which leaves my rewatch dangling over the chasm of uncertainty but I have projects I am far more interested in rn to be thinking about that.

I actually joined the Lucifer fandom this year, though I cannot say that I am active in it at all. It was nice to challenge myself with the small contribution I made to the fanworks in the fandom so I am putting it here because I am not done with watching the show even though I don’t think I have a good enough grasp on any of the characters in order to actually write them.

Ships:

Well, 2020 definitely delivered on that front. I have found myself piles of new ships to ship the hell out. Some I am more grateful about, others leave me slightly bitter over not knowing what to do with them but it certainly hasn’t been boring. Because this is my wrap-up and contemplation, I get to list them and maybe say a couple of words about some of them.

Griffin x Valtor - Not new but it was definitely the biggest part of that year.

Griffin x Valtor x Faragonda - New in the sense of me having written a fic about this now... and having several more ideas on my drives so... beware, future!

Griffin x Faragonda - Also not new but when the feelings catch up with me, they really mean it. Two major bursts of inspiration about them have left me with interesting results and I am looking forward to finding out where this goes.

Marion x Oritel - That was new. It was the first new ship of the year. I have more ideas about them but the muse has not visited lately. I am not giving up, though. Sometimes you gotta sail the ship even when there’s no wind.

Flora x Icy - That was definitely a surprise. I don’t know what happened but I do know that a goddamn look at Pinterest has brought on an entire epic about them (and the other Trix and Winx) so... thanks for that, Pinterest. I wish you could pin free time on Pinterest and go consume it later so that I would actually have the time to work on all of this.

Layla x Stella - Oh, yeah, baby! I have feelings and I really want to do at least an outline of what would be too long to actually write as a fic, especially since I have A Lot on my plate rn.

Griffin x Griselda - Well, that... happened. I have no idea where any of this is going, only that it is a major part of Griffin’s arc in my most major series so... I guess it’s headed somewhere. Just have to stay along for the ride.

Zarathustra x Griselda - So totally trashcankitty12′s fault... But I guess I am the one responsible for actually including it in already ongoing stories.

Ediltrude x DuFour - Okay, that one I totally roped myself into. Do I regret it? ... Maybe a little because it may need to remain just background thanks to everything else that I have going on.

Griffin x Marion - Almost forgot that which is a damn shame because it is one of my absolute most favorite ships.

Griffin x Valtor x Marion - Not gonna lie, this has been sneaking into some stray ideas too repetitively to be an accident. Will it ever exist outside of my head, though?

Samara x Erendor - I just wanted to make them more likable to me because they were my least favorite characters on the show. Worked too well and now I am in fic hell.

Bloom x Sky - I got ONE idea, okay? Too bad that I love it too much for my own good, especially considering that it is sort of a rewrite of the series. Like I didn’t have enough of those already.

There are more, actually, but we will be here all day if I have to list every stray idea that I have entertained so let’s just move on.

Stories:

Winx Club - 80 (4 unfinished and 3 that I have been dragging with me since 2019 for a total of 7/111 incomplete.)

OUAT - 3 (all finished but I have two collections that are still open from 2019 and 2018 respectively)

Lucifer - 1 (it was a one-shot but I am glad that I managed to write it at all)

Original works - 1 (poem that I came up with at 4am)

That makes a total of 85 written works this year which is honestly astounding! My brain has been harping on me about not being productive since June but I have actually gotten quite a lot of work done! (Fun fact - my total for 2019 was 58 stories, and for 2020 it is 85 XD. We’re gonna need some new numbers in 2021.)

First fic of the year - Gold and Purple (Griffin x Valtor AU inspired by a Bulgarian folk tale)

Last fic of the year - New Warmth to Weave in Your Garden of Shine (Samara x Erendor + New Year traditions and worldbuilding on Eraklyon)

Favorite writing moment - that has got to be coming up with a wild idea for my season  rewrite that I will not be spoiling now. It was also inspired by Bulgarian folklore and I am so excited to reveal it (because it is so fucking grand) but we will all have to be patient.\

Wildest writing experience - definitely the entirety of chapter 4 from A Home You Never Knew How to Have. Man, that was... a goddamn ride. In every sense of the word. I still haven’t reread that bitch after posting it even though I have opened it probably a hundred times.

I launched several series this year that will need a lot of work to be brought to completion. Naturally, my focus is not on finishing those but on starting new things. Because of course it is. So here’s a heads-up for another post that will be coming shortly with announcements of my ideas. I would like to call it a plan for 2021 but I fear that will be too presumptuous of me so I will say that it is my hope that those are things that are to be released this year but I will only lapel them as projects that I am looking forward to rather than “upcoming”.

Other Works:

This year actually bore a couple other forms of art so I am going to list my creations in other mediums below because they deserve the attention.

Aesthetics:

Icy

Darcy

Stormy

Marion

Ediltrude & Zarathustra

Siren AU:

Griffin

Ediltrude

Zarathustra

Icy

Darcy

Stormy

Magic-Swapped Transformations:

Griffin Winx

Ediltrude Winx

Zarathustra Winx

Griffin Chamrix

Ediltrude Chamrix

Zarathustra Chamrix

Griffin Enchantix

Ediltrude Enchantix

Zarathustra Enchantix

Videos:

Griffin/Valtor - The Devil I Know

Winx - Trouble

Marion x Oritel/Griffin x Valtor/Faragonda x Hagen - Savage

Bloom/Mitzi - Wicked

Samara - You Should See Me in a Crown

Bloom/Sky - Kerosene

Winx Rewatch:

I actually rewatched all 8 seasons of the show + the 3 movies and I have written out my thoughts on all of them. You can find them here:

Winx Club Season 1 4kids (Stream of Consciousness) (I am actually considering redoing this one because it wasn’t in-depth like the others are)

Winx Club Season 2 4kids Part 1 (Stream of Consciousness)

Winx Club Season 2 4kids Part 2 (Stream of Consciousness)

Winx Club Season 3 4kids Part 1 (Stream of Consciousness)

Winx Club Season 3 4kids Part 2 (Stream of Consciousness)

Winx Club: The Secret of the Lost Kingdom (Stream of Consciousness)

Winx Club Season 4 Part 1 (Stream of Consciousness)

Winx Club Season 4 Part 2 (Stream of Consciousness)

Winx Club: Magical Adventure (Stream of Consciousness)

Winx Club Season 5 Part 1 (Stream of Consciousness)

Winx Club Season 5 Part 2 (Stream of Consciousness)

Winx Club: Mystery of the Abyss (Stream of Consciousness)

Winx Club Season 6 Part 1 (Stream of Consciousness)

Winx Club Season 6 Part 2 (Stream of Consciousness)

Winx Club Season 7 Part 1 (Stream of Consciousness)

Winx Club Season 7 Part 2 (Stream of Consciousness)

Winx Club Season 8 Part 1 (Stream of Consciousness)

Winx Club Season 8 Part 2 (Stream of Consciousness)

Winx Club Special 1: Destiny of Bloom (Stream of Consciousness)

Winx Club Special 2: Revenge of the Trix (Stream of Consciousness)

Winx Club Special 3: The Battle for Magix (Stream of Consciousness)

Winx Club Special 4: The Shadow Phoenix (Stream of Consciousness)

I will not be writing any takeaways because I already talked about some of those in an ask and my brain is too fired at the moment to pull off some actual analysis and compose a proper conclusion. To be perfectly honest, I prefer not to think too much on 2020. It brought a lot of good things along with the bad but I still prefer not to look back on it if it isn’t necessary. I think it received enough of my energy already.

[vespiiqueen]

List 5 things that make you happy, then put this in the ask box of the last 10 people who reblogged something from you (if you want !! 💛💖)

Wow I rambled a lot with this but i can't add cuts bc I'm on mobile rn DHSISHSJ sorry :"))))

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1. Ik Ik "haha how cringe are you" of me to say, but honestly? Homestuck. Homestuck helped me in a time of need and when i so desperately wanted something to latch onto. Finally, I caved into my friends telling me to read it-- and it's been a blast!! The epilogues / hs^2 make me feel kinda sad though, because so much of what I loved about the original was yeeted through the nine circles of hell and into the trash. I love Y/ffany's (I call her Yippi tho) design, the art is really pretty at times, Harry is a major dork, I LIVE for seeing Vrissy bc honestly?? Her design is 10/10, very early 2000s emo style and I also live for that. Tavros is cute and a nerd and I think that's swell!

But in terms of story and how any of this happens, it makes me sad to see it happen. If Vriska could return as Vrissy, why not OTHER beta trolls? Where's my Eridan fish man, writers?? Give me the boy or perish by my fury.

2. Also super "haha how cringe are you" but,,, murder cats (Warriors), esp the early 2005-2015 amvs and stuff. I remember watching Flightfootwarrior's "I Will Not Bow" Scourge amv for HOurs and having no clue what was happening, but all these edgy kitties were KITTIES! It's introduced me to a lot of music I still listen to to this very day (Imagine Dragons, Young/the entirety of Hollywood Undead, Breaking Benjamin). And yknow what?? This new arc is absolute chaos, but in the good way.

I'm an "OG Fan". I prefer the first arc, The Prophecies Begin, to almost any of the other arcs. I just could never get into the other arcs-- not to say I haven't read them, I HAVE and the Fire Scene was probably one of my favorite moments beside grumpy Jaypaw, god complex Lionblaze, and fear the gods Hollypaw. I thought the build-up for it was SUPER satisfying. Gray Wing is my baby and I fully embellish in the Gray Wing is Silverpelt theory.

This new arc is definitely something new for the universe. While I didn't read aVoS (but I may do that if i can find the files for it), and so I don't know the major events of it other than what I've seen M.A.P.'s (Multi-Animator Projects, for clarification,,, bc unfortunately that term is also something disgusting). There's fucking cat possession and all the Clans questioning their belief system, yo. Shit be on fire.

Also the Imposter is 100% Ashfur, that's canon now, yeah??? Also im sorry but fuck Root x Bristle that's the dumbest shit I have ever seen. Give me Root x Shadow or face the wrath of my dragon plushies.

RiverClan is my Clan and my gov assigned warrior name is Fireshell 🌟🌟

3. As much as I hate the author,,,,, Harry Potter. It's been a major part of my life for as long as I can remember. I can never really remember why, but I've always just loved it- the movies, the books, the extra little merch that would pop up in my local Walmart. Of course my favorite character is Draco Malfoy. I could go on and on and ON about how I think his character arc was SHIT and JKR didn't have the balls to make him a confident gay man that was always implied through the text (at least, my lesbian ass thought it was implied but i may just be projecting, idk). I could ramble about Draco for HOURS and what I think his character SHOULD have been and how his parents are horrible (more specifically, Lucius bc Narcissa [?] Actually showed a few good moments), and a child should never have to pay for their parents sins.

Oh noo, Draco's a villain because he's a victim of major abuse and peer pressure? He's a villain because a literal child can be horrible and they'll always always always stay as a horrible little fiend?? Fuck that. He's a child.

Unlike manchild grease pan Snape, who was a racist piece of shit and shouldn't have became a fucking school teacher but it's okay because he was ~~~in love~~~. No, fuck you, he was a creep. James Potter n Co may have been a little posh bitch to you, Snape, but that's no fucking excuse to continue to bluntly be a little cunt all the way into adulthood. You're an adult who flatly changed your PATRONUS to imitate Lily's. You have no excuse. And Harry went and named his child after you LIKE JESUS CHRIST, DID RON'S SISTER NOT HAVE A SAY IN THE NAMES TOO?????

I also fully adore the idea that Muggles can run into Hogwarts and their patronus can 100% be a made up, fantasy creature. Imagine you learn the patronus spell and suddenly fucking ARCEUS comes from your wand. Imagine learning the spell and CHTULU (i did not spell that right but im so tired) comes from your wand-- an entire ass fucking Lovecraftian, Eldrith horror is just the embodiment of you. What if it was a fucking Homestuck character like Vriska? How fucking METAL would that be?? Hskajssowjjsjs get on it fandom.

4. Hee hee very evident by my url but Pokemon is another major thing of mine. While vespiquen isn't my favorite (that title goes to Hydreigon), it is definitely up there!

I've ALWAYS enjoyed the idea of Pokemon. You run around, training up these fight monsters and collecting them. I remember playing my sister's Ruby version on her flip-up Gameboy. I couldn't even read but I ran around catching god only knows how many of the same pokemon wherever she was. Apparently, I had fought for hours in the same area and leveled her Blaziken up to lvl 50 something and left her lvl 30s in the dust LMAO.

I got my first game when it was Pearl/Diamond. It was Pearl, and it still holds a very fond place in my heart. I could barely read, I could barely write-- I had named my Turtwig something along the lines of "MmorpHy" and my player boy "ZbsibJ". Yes I remember the names slightly. I really didn't get far-- I barely got to the first gym but I was just so happy to play it.

I eventually lost the game, as a 5 year old would do, but I can still vividly remember what was happening when the game arrived. I had just came back from the dentist and was quite tired from fighting the dentist bc I was super scared. Mom suddenly handed me a box and said it was mine-- my overseas (at that time) dad had bought me Pearl and my sister Diamond, because I lost my shit about it when he visited one time.

Well, tdlr, I played it for about five minutes while struggling to stay awake against the loopy gas they made me take. I fell asleep listening to Twinleaf Town's soundtrack. Every time I play a rom of Pearl and I get to where the player's house fades in and I hear that first tune of the song, I get a huge smile on my face and cry-- as.. Weird as it sounds.

A few years later, I had gotten Pokemon Black bc I liked Reshiram on the cover. Now, this one I could actually READ when playing, but I don't remember a lot of things about it. I probably lost this one too, as a 8/9 year old would do. I DO remember, I chose Snivy and my sister chose Tepig (hrmm there's a theme here of grass/fire goin on......) and vibing to the music. I was so amazed by the sprites moving, I just kept getting into encounters to see the sprites move (oh boy, no one tell younger 7-9 y/o me about Zelda......oh wait....)

Playing Pokemon NOW, as a 17 year old """gifted""" chick, I stil have very fond memories. I recently beat Pokemon Black again and GOD the OTS SLAPS. I fucking adore the soundtrack-- the track that plays when you battle a trainer, the low health dings being turned into a legit song that also slaps, the battle! gym leader themes-- and oh my gOd, the legendary theme is amazing? It really tells you just how glorious these pokemon are supposed to be. It's not intimidating like Groudon/Kyroge/Rayquaza's themes. It's not action packed like Palkia/Dialga's is, it's not filled with tension like Giratina/Arceus's is-- but it radiates the GLORY that the beasts portray. And I live for that. (Also, Kyurem's version is my favorite because it glitches in the beginning and that's rly cool)

P/D/P and BW/BW2's stories, imo, are some of the greatest ones. Yeahhh, US/USUM's is cool and I haven't played XY nor SwSh-- but the ones I can find memorable are PDP and BW/BW2. I love N. I love Barry. They're my sons. Ghetsis is fucking terrifying, Cyrus needs a hug. Giratina scared the piss out of me when I was younger, which was NOT helped by Giratina and The Sky Warrior.

I think my favorite movies are the gen 4 ones. The Rise of Darkrai having a tear-jerking theme for such a mysterious pokemon (i still tear up when i hear Ocarion), Giratina being spiteful is a mood and Shaymin was cute, Arceus being angry is also a mood. Yeah, Pokemon 4Ever made me cry my eyes out over Celebi, Mewtwo Returns made me again cry because Mewtwo accepting who he is, I remember how vastly different the BW movies are-

I just. I have a lot of memories with the series, even if Gamefreak and Nintendo kinda do the series dirty a lot (your top-grossing thing and you made That monstrosity for the Switch? How dare you.). It's comforting to be stressed and pull up my roms for the games and to play them. Mystery Dungeon is incredibly fun to play, Pokemon Ranger is really fun with the concept (Shadows of Almia continues to kick my ass to this very day and FUCK the Jungle Relic, I hate the Water Challenge fucking gyarados bullshit). I remember the pokemon I got for MD (I got Time, my sis got Darkness) was Mudkip, if that is any help.

I love my little fictional pixel monsters.

5. Yup, someone told tiny 7-9 y/o me about console games. The legend of Zelda. My first Zelda game was Twilight Princess on the Wii and BOY did I play the fucking SHIT out of that game.

Honestly, looking back and looking at playthroughs now-- I still love TP. Twilight Princess is still one of my top favorite Zelda games-- yes, even after playing OoT, Majora's Mask, Wind Waker, Skyward Sword, the anniversary four swords edition for the DS where you could play by yourself (Nintendo pls bring that back, I don't have friends to play it with ;-;), Phantom Hourglass- ect.

Something about Twilight Princess grabbed me by the head and yeeted me into the world. I can remember playing it for hours with little to no breaks. I, a tiny 9 y/o, had gotten the hang of the controllers and managed to get past the tutorial quite easily. And then, I was launched into the game and I wasn't stopping for NOTHING. Mom and Dad would have to force me to save and get off to go and eat dinner. THAT sucked.

I had done everything on my own up until the first temple, the forest temple. Not where/when you saved the dumb kid, but when you were saving the spirit's light. Theeeeeeennn I got stuck on the fucking Forest Temple for deadass six months straight. I'd play for hours, running around in circles, unable to figure out where to go, and because I didn't grasp the temple's purpose of being that way- I'd get angry and get off. It wasn't until dad looked up a walkthrough and talked me through what I was supposed to do that I learned how to get through temples.

I had gotten to the last little fight with Ganondorf before the Wii broke and i could no longer play. Despite the Wii being broke and we got rid of it, I was ADAMANT on keeping the game, and I kept that game for YEARS. It was an original copy out of a sealed box, and I eventually lost it when I left it accidentally at my now ex-friend's house.

She had a Wii and I went "hey I have a Wii game!" And I brought my Zelda over. Worst fucking choice of my goddamn life. Mom called me to come home and said I couldn't sleep over like the original plan was, and that was it. My ex-friend stashed my Zelda and I never saw it again. And, even if I wanted to-- I couldn't get it back, which makes me upset. We had a BAD falling out. She likely doesn't even remember it's there, or sold it to the local game junkie kid who buys ALL games.

But I still love the game. Midna was amazing, and I loved how snarky she was and she has a very cute design! The game's OST is fucking phenomenal. Midna's Desperate Hour makes me cry bc goddamn it really sells how serious that situation is. I love Hyrule Field's theme in this game. I love the Twilight Realm's song. Zant was fucking hilariously scary. Ganondorf's design in this game scared the piss out of me when I was younger.

Midna and this game's Link and Zelda are def my favorites. Yeah yeah, Sheik is cool and all I Guess but dhsushwishs Midna holds the special place in my heart. She was totally my gay awakening BUT

For other game antagonists, I adore Ghirahim-- let's go you funky little queer-coded villain. Skull Kid was great, I love the entire dynamic of him. Prankster lost soul stumbles upon Majora's Mask and the mask makes him act out due to powers-- which, I actually took very heavy inspiration from for one of my OCs. The moon falling to Hyrule was a fucking terrifying looming threat.

But the game series holds a place, and I've yet to be able to play BoTW-- although, I'm fairly certain I'll like it. The playthroughs I've watched of it are all fairly decent! I just. Gotta save up enough money to buy it haha.

Dang guess I gotta go watch a Twilight Princess playthrough again.

Honorable Mentions:

Avatar: the Last Airbender, specifically Book 3

my OCs definitely make me happy, they're my children and I'd ramble A LOT longer if given the chance WHEEZE

My friends, but I didn't add them here bc it's more fictional stuff, I presume

Baking. I love to bake cupcakes.

Painting is fun. I'm an artist and goddammit im going to use painting as an excuse to make a mess.

Fire. I rly like fire, down to a pyromaniac level. However, i hate the fires that happened to my home town, the Great Smokey Fires of 2016-- THAT pissed me off. How dare you burn mountain landscapes to the ground. Perish.

History. I'm a history nerd.

I'm also a science nerd.

But fuck math, I cannot comprehend math to save my life.

For some reason, I rly like learning how the human body works??? like did you know, organs are actually sticky when touched by a bare hand?? Did you?? How fucking cool is that.

Bakugan. I love Bakugan, esp the DS game. I love my Darkus Leonidas. Give me back the online world, you peasants-- I want my Darkus Dragonoid. (Also fuck all my friends from when I was in kindergarten- my theory that Alice was Masquerade was somewhat correct.)

[charmingpplincardigans]

hideyseek replied to your post

“I went into therapy today fully expecting to spend most of it as an...”

hello! idk (sorry if this is being Nosy And Bad) but if you might be willing to share some of the methods you're using to combat that? these are feelings that i have ab relationships also and idk im not v good at dealing w/ them rn

Hokay! So I’ve been thinking about this, because I feel like I have to do a lot of mental and emotional work to keep ahead of myself in this department*, but really all that I keep coming back to is openness and honesty. Every morning I wake up and remind myself that, bare minimum, I just have to take deep breaths and show up. Then I make myself do it. Some days it’s easier than others.

(*This is the Not Letting Myself Run Away From Otherwise Healthy Relationships Even Though Everything In Me Is Screaming To For Not Good Or Healthy Reasons department for those who missed it.)

The ‘all’ there is not meant to imply that openness and honesty are easy. They are frequently not easy things for me one on one. None of you reading this, my overshare of a Tumblr, will believe that, but it’s very different to tell the void about the things that scare you than it is to tell a real human who might want to kiss your face. Like, I’m not going to lose anything if the void decides it doesn’t want to kiss my face after all, you know? (Look, there are just a lot of you, no one has that kind of time. ♥)

And it’s not that I want to be dishonest, it’s just that I spent so much of my last relationship (all thirteen years of it) not saying things, so it’s become a habit that I have to actively work to break. In my life in general and in that relationship specifically I have sometimes been penalized for my excitement, for my interests, and for the writing or art I want to do which other people do not find important enough. So I sort of started to stuff a lot of that away, and then that bled into everything else. I became afraid to say perfectly human things, to share my feelings, even the positive ones, for fear that they’d be read as too much and scare the other person off. There toward the end I could be lying in bed next to him wanting to touch him, but physically incapable of moving to do it. There was just an invisible wall there. I had become fearful of even the things we both wanted, afraid that I was just too bad or wrong to be desired.

So, that’s sort of what I’m working with and against here and in this instance I’ve mostly just been talking too much to counteract that terror. I’ve made myself have frank discussions about the things I’m most afraid to bring up: my fears, sex stuff, things in my past that have Made Me A Basket Case, etc. I find it both easier and harder to have these conversations. It’s hard while I’m having them. Sometimes my hands shake or I take too long to answer. But it’s also easier to have those things out of the way, to not be sitting here in a big ball of anxiety over how my fears and worries are going to manifest and ruin everything. Because like, she knows now that I have these fears and worries, and I’ve made it so that they’re not off limits to discuss. They’re just there, terrifyingly available for access and able to be built upon as we move forward. Because here’s the thing, I’m not going to magically excise my fear and wake up perfect and easy to know. It has taken me at least five years and a lot of work to even get this far. I can try to become the best version of myself possible, but becoming takes time, time which will be easier to go through with someone who understands in my corner. 

My therapist asked me what it was I was afraid of most and honestly, it always comes back to my fear that I’m going to hurt the other person with my carelessness or general me-ness. I’m just so terrified of becoming a thing that happens to other people. I don’t want to negatively affect them so my default state is to try to blend into the background and not make any impression on them whatsoever. Which, as you might imagine, makes for bad relationship management both romantically and platonically! It’s hard to build connections if you’re only willing to give part of yourself away, but it’s hard to give all of yourself away if you’re afraid you’re a gift no one wants, and THAT’S just a mobius strip of awful I’ve spent my whole life trying to cut up.

Since I’m not going to magically wake up as a perfect human and neither are you, here are some action bullets:

Practice taking up space, both mental and physical. This person is trying to have a relationship with you because they want you there, so be there. We’re long distance, so I do this by trying to message her first at least as many times as she messages me first, which I know sounds very ‘well duh’ but like, when you’re afraid of being in the way it’s a hard thing to do. It’s hard for me to do, but I never regret it.

Remember that space goes both ways. Let them know how you’re feeling, but also ask how they’re feeling. It’s totally fine to message or speak with the person and say ‘hey, I’m struggling today and won’t be a fun chat, but I just wanted to say hi and see how your day was.’ That will sometimes take some hard emotional work to make space in your otherwise full mental load, but you want this relationship because you want this person in your space, so you have to make them feel welcome in it.

Be clear about your love language. (Ie, things you need from a relationship, things you want from a relationship, and things you do not want from a relationship.)  We all want different things from relationships and the thing that ate away at my last relationship was that we were trying to give each other what we ourselves wanted and then becoming put out when the other person didn’t accept it with an open heart. I mean, we were also a little bit trying to give the other person what they might have wanted ten years ago and then being put out when they weren’t grateful that we remembered, but people change. Which I guess brings me to....

Allow for and foster growth in yourself and in them. People are not stagnate beings. We’re all in flux all the time as we learn things about ourselves and the world. Be excited to learn new things about the other person and try not to let any one version of them calcify in your mind. 

Be as open as you’re comfortable being. There will always be things you don’t want to share with another person. None of us are perfect. None of us are without fear. None of us have lived a blame free life. But while it’s tempting to think you can save the other person from those pieces of yourself by hiding them away, that’s not usually how it plays out. The things you guard and fear are just as much a part of you as the things you share and they will affect the way you live, which will affect the other person. I’m not saying you have to share your memoir on the third date, just be aware of how you are living in your surroundings and if the other person still feels comfortable in your space.

Most of all, try to be kind to yourself. Forgive yourself and show yourself the grace you would show others. if you can do this for yourself it will become easier to let others do it for you as well. I’m very bad at this, but I’m getting better. Life is hard enough, you know? Let people love you, even if you’re having trouble loving yourself. Especially if you’re having trouble loving yourself. 

Uh, in typical me fashion that was a lot and might not be helpful at all! But it is what I’ve been doing. Just taking deep breaths and showing up as much as I can. I’m never going to be perfect. I’m never going to have no fears or shake off my past. If I try and wait for any of that I will be alone for the rest of my life. I don’t want to be. So. Take deep breaths and show up. Once you do that anything can happen. 

[jaydadraws555]

The MHA fandom as a whole...

“The more mainstream and anime is, the more toxic the fandom will be”

-Lord Daiki (YouTube)

———————————————————

So, I’m fairly knew to this fandom, and so far it looks like a decently good fandom. The people who’ve I’ve been able to talk to over this fandom have been supportive and respectful. But after a quick YouTube search referring to the fandom, people believe that his fandom is very toxic.

Now, obviously i respect these people’s opinions about the fandom being toxic, but I didn’t watch through all the videos cuz, I just don’t have the attention span for that.

But, I’m gonna try and see why people think it’s so toxic from what I’ve gathered.

————————————————————-

1. Leweding female characters: this one was brought up by Lord Daiki on YouTube. And tbh I kinda have to agree with him on this.

Now. Almost all the girls in that series are curvy and very attractive, that’s fine. That’s just how Horokoshi decided to design the his characters that fine (as long as it wasn’t for a perverted purpose) but it’s the fandom man! The fact that some people believe that the females in this show are only there to look sexy! Um, can I go over all the girls and their amazing quirks and abilities? Like how their body looks should be completely taken out of the picture. Now I get it “but Jayda, they are just characters!” Im aware of that. But that’s the point! They ARE just characters, so stop trying to make them into someone for your to try and bang, cuz guess what buddy. The closest thing your gonna get to bang to them is a body pillow. Just please leave the characters alone (male or female) cuz their not there to be Leweded, they are there for the show...

2. The toxic shippers (oh boy, where do I begin?!?!?)

“Oh Kiribaku is so cannon

-no it’s not

“Tododeku is so cannon

-no it’s not

“Todomono is so cannon”

-no it’s not

“Kachacco is so cannon”

-even tho I ship it. No it’s not!

Fans will literally get upset if their ship dosent end up being cannon, like bruh! You don’t run the show, stop being so entitled that you think your ship should end up in the show, it’s not your show. So sit down and shut up. Making fanart is fine, books are fine, comics are fine, AU’s totally acceptable. But don’t try and rub it in people’s faces that you think your ship should be cannon. It’s fine to say why you like a ship, it’s fine to give reasons. But don’t go around shoving in people’s faces that your ship diserves to be cannon bc it’s your “otp” like stop....

On the subject of toxic shippers. RESPECT OTHER PEOPLE’S SHIPS! if it’s not abusive, toxic, pedo, incest, or something like that then just leave it the frik be! Don’t go around saying “oh I don’t ship it” bc your not gonna change anything. Your just looking for trouble. It’s fine to give legitimate reasons as to why you think a ship wouldn’t be good. Like in my example, I don’t believe bakudeku will never become a thing, let me list my reasons, 1. They hate each other. 2. It would probably be abusive bc deku fears bakugou (and you shouldn’t ever be afraid of your partner) and Bakugou dosent respect deku (you need respect in a relationship) fear + a lack of respect = a toxic relationship. Even in season one bakugou told Deku to go kill himself. Not to mention Deku has only showed interest in girls. So I’d say respect WHAT SEEMS to be Deku’s heterosexuality. Just like a gay or bi person would want you to respect their bi sexuality or gay sexuality the same right goes to straight people or characters. But of course the fact that bakugou and deku would be an abusive ship is not cannon, so therefore I am not given the right to go around talking like my opinion is cannon, and neither does anyone else.Case in point, just respect other people’s ships, if you believe that ship is morally wrong then sure say something, but be respectful about our opinion. As humans we all diserve respect.

3. It’s kinda like #2: respect sexualities, I know that no sexuality has ever been confimed by any means. But if a character seems straight, or bi, or pan, or whatever. Then respect that. Don’t ship what could be the straight characters with the same gender, and don’t ship what could be a gay character with the opposite sex. It’s pretty easy to pick up signs in most anime’s (I think, I guess I can’t reall say tho cuz I haven’t watched any other than MHA so correct me if I’m wrong) and the character’s sexuality.

4. Being a nasty content creator, (this is seen thought ALL fandoms!) but sometimes someone can have Really great art, but be the nastiest person. Bruh, if you can’t be nice or at least respectful to the people who literally follow you cuz they like your art or whatever your create, then you might as well delete your account rn, bc if you can’t be respectful at the very least, then you don’t diserve the attention you get... it’s kinda like if you only become famous on Instagram bc you decided to be a thot. Like, some people have spent their ENTIRE lives working on their trade and maybe have like 500 followers but then you have that one girl who posts a picture of her boobs and then boom! Blue check, 7 million + followers, all within a couple of months. So, don’t be a nasty content creator, be respectful to your audience. Like honestly, it’s not hard.

5. Personal biases.

It’s fine to have your personal bias, but don’t shove that bias into someone else’s work if they didn’t ask for it (kinda like constructive criticism) you might mean well, and that’s great. But remember, everyone has different values and different opinions of what is right and that’s ok. As long as their not like “oh incest is tOtAllY fInE Hahahahahah” then don’t shove your bias in their face. It’s their trade. The thing they enjoy and their form of art. It’s their playground and they can do as they wish. So unless it’s asked for then please don’t shove your bias in their face. It’s disrespectful to their art and to the talanet they have built years upon years to get.

So those are the reasons that could make this fandom seems toxic. I respect the people who believe this fandom is toxic, that’s their opinion. But remember it only takes on bad apple the create a steyotype and then the whole fandom has to carry that around. So please don’t jump to conclusions about this fandom and say that all of us are toxic, I’ve met some amazing and talented creators who definitely aren’t toxic. And it’s wrong to stereotype and entire fandom bc of that one or two people. It’s also not fair to us if people outside the fandom purposely only look at the bad and totally ignore the good. That’s if anything being toxic to us. So again. I respect your opinion. But don’t generalize us, cuz then your the toxic one.

[onepunchmiss]

OPM S2e11 Live Blog

“The Varieties of Pride”

I left work an hour early just to watch the episode sooner and of COURSE I GOT STUCK IN TRAFFIC FOR AN HOUR because the universe BE LIKE THAT. But guys holy shit this is the second to last episode of the season. So much shit is about to go down. I’m eerily calm and concerning myself soooo uh without further ado I’mma WATCH

As always I’m watching from the perspective of someone up to date on the manga and web comic!

Ok so we’re picking up exactly where we left off, but I mean how could we not, really? And Garou still looks beautiful and I still cri evr tim KEK Glasses looks SO out of place like his fists arent even raised when everyone else is pointing a weapon ar Garou like dude?? Every time Garou laughs I gain a year of life btw, also god damn he’s really drawn SO WELL here, pls pls pls treat Genos with the same respect my bby boy pls 

“Where are the S class heroes” oh dear be careful what you wish for…………………. asdfghjkl “any kid who heard you would be so let down” IDK GAROU ARE YOU SURE ABOUT THAT. ARE YOU. ohohohOH OH OH THE STAIRCASE!!! THE CRUEL STAIRCASE!! AH ok opening theme who it gon b this week 

ASDFGHJKL  A CHIBI GAROU IN THE OPENING IM IN LOVE 

Oh no these flashbacks are going to be heartbreaking, but at the same time I cant not see a bunch of Geryuganshoops asdfghjkl ohhh oh no Garou no Garou is literally me I was that child this is personal and it hurts stopppp I just wanted Wile E Coyote to catch road runner once JUST ONCE I was SO that kid  im- also what the hell kind of show is ‘Justice man’ why does the monster sound so sympathetic like, IM JUST TRYING TO STOP OCEAN POLLUTION TOO yall fuck just Justice Fire Kick me to the face too i guess 

AAAAAAAAA IM SCREAMING GO MY BOY KICK ASS THIS IS LIKE THE EXACT MOMENT WHERE GAROU OFFICIALLY EARNED MY COMPLETE RESPECT IN THE FIRST PLACE THEY THINK THEY GOT HIM AND HES JUST LIKE WELL ACTUALLY FUCK YOU IMMA POWER UP BITCH AND I AM LIVING SEEING IT IN MOTION MY BOY asdfghjkl”like im not allowed to have one? talk about discrimination” son I love you THIS IS AMAZING THIS WHOLE THING IS AMAZING 

BEHOLD the exact moment u shit ur metal pants, fool

IM JUST SCREAMING THIS WHOLE TIME I DONT HAVE WORDS THIS IS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL ANIMATION IVE SEEN ALL SEASON JC STAFF DOESNT SUCK THEY JUST POURED 100% OF THEIR TIME INTO THIS FIGHT 

WHOAH calm the fuck down there smiley face man?? I’m SO GLAD they made him look crazy a bit cause I honestly didn’t even notice him just nonchalantly suggest to kill him the first read through, holy shit fuck ????? 

THIS IS JUST SO GOOD IM SCREAMING HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I WANT TO SCREENSHOT EVERY SINGLE FRAME ITS ALL SO GOOD 

WHAT IS THIS

WHAT IS THIS

A GLASSES FLASHBACK 

I THOUGHT IT WAS AN OMAKE OR???

WHAT IS THIS 

WHAT

OH MY GOD HIS VOICE?? IM,,, BABY NO AND SAITAMA??????????? WHAT THE FUCK AM I WITNESSING RIGHT NOW  

AND THEY’RE TALKING ABOUT LIMITS ST O P 

SADFHGJKLKJMHNGBFVCXCVBRGHNTYMJ<KUMJYNTBRVECWRVTBYUMIKMYNTBRVECVBTNYUMIYNTBRVECVRBTNYUM

I CANT BELIEVE THEY PUT THAT IN THERE WHAT THE SHIT FUCK 

OH GOD

I THINK IM GONNA LITERALLY CRY THIS SCENE GETS ME EVERY TIME I READ IT LIKE I JUST REREAD IT THIS MORNING BUT-----

oh no its happening. im crying ok oh dear lord 

I just…. love him so much … holy shit… ah the laugh, +1 more year life, and again oh no im becomming immortal ahhhh

ASDFGHJKL FUCK “YOU GOT ISSUES BROTHER” GODDAMNIT U READ MY MIND GAROU PLS

Oh my god. The voice sound effect here. just everything about this. Oh my god. I’m so shook holy shit shit ----- ‘Oh your still alive’ WELL ILL TELL U WHAT I AM LIVING RN SO YEAH oh no and Garous little slightly heartbroken hand gesture as Tareo screams and runs and then he just starts limping away gasping for water and then 

ASDFGHUJIKL GENOS 

WAIT CAN SOMEONE GIVE GAROU WATER FIRST THO 

I DONT KNOW IF IM EXCITED OR HEARTBROKEN RIGHT NOW HELP the MUSIC is so INTENSE and GENOS LOOKS SO COOL IM SO FULL OF EMOTIONS AND EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM IS CONFLICTING OH NO 

HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT THIS ANIMATION HOLY SHIT OH MY GOD OH MY GOD EVEN THE STILLS OF THE SMEAR FRAMES LOOK FUKKIN AMAZING GOD DAMNIT

wow ok saitama and king right ok gonna pause and give my heartrate a second to come down holy shit. I’m gonna watch and rewatch this episode 2000000 times I know it oh my god. phew. ok. ok. moving on 

Saitama just keeling over and SCREAMING is me 24/7 HOLY- omg I’m dying thank you opm for being a glorious mix of BADASS and PEAK COMEDY ASDFGHJKL WHAT IS THAT FACE SAITAMA this is so good. How long have they been there playing games anyway?? Aww King being concerned for Genos’s safety thats so sweet?? Also Saitama worrying very subtly I love them so much I cri 

AH THERE GOES MY HEART RATE AGAIN OK asdfghjkl THE watchdog Man movements!!! LOOK!! SO !! COOL!! Ouch ok I love seeing Garou smile but not while pinned to a tree like that no nope I dont like it not one bit oh no 

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

THERE IT IS THERE IT IS THERE IT IS THERE IT IS OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD NGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA ohhey its flowey undertale 

ASDFGHJKL OK Genos looks so cool I just IM so GLAD im just so happy I cant Also IM LOVING ANIME GAROU WITH THE RED its just SO GOOD  phew phew asdfghjk just EVERY SINGLE SHOT OF GAROU IS SO PERFECT EVERY. SINGLE. ONE 

BANG ASDFGHJKL BANG OH MY GOD I WAS SO CAUGHT UP I FORGOT wtf this music is so funky i love it??? Holy crap??? 

This looks soo good I am alive I am living is this the thrill of life ?? ? Oh my god. This music is killing me this is so intense, I don’t want it to end here. Bang is also drawn SO BEAUTIFULLY here everyone in the whole episode is WAIT

WAIT

I DO NOT REMEMBER THIS FLASH BACK 

THIS IS NEW 

OH NO 

ASDFGHJKL GODDAMNIT SOURFACE 

One, Murata, JC, why did you do that. that was cruel. It hurts. i wasn't prepared. I mean im never prepared but like ESPECIALLY not for that just tear my heart out just tear it out i dont even need it please just JUST 

oh no, you cant end the episode like that 

please come back 

wh-what about my favorite dopey bird man

please 

wha

what am I looking at what is this end card “The wiping of the disciple’s butt” is that really how thats translated?? What a fukkin roller coaster 

So this was by far my favorite episode of the season to date. I know a lot of people were worried about the animation quality and just overall quality JC staff has been putting out thus far, but I think it’s clear why the rest of the season has been average majority of the time. They spent. All the time. And budget. on. This. Episode. Every Character looked beautiful. The animation was fluid, not too blurry, not too flashy, well paced, and with high quality art. I just. Oh my god. I’m in denial right now that the season only has One episode left. Just 24 minutes more. Until WHO KNOWS when. Whos gonna cry with me next week? pls im gonna need like 100 shoulders my weak heart. ahh shitttttt

Side Note: DID YALL HEAR ABOUT THE OPM GAME COMING OUT??? I swear I JUST had a conversation with @joyandeggs last week about how they could make a game and what it should/could/would entail, AND LO, I HAVE BEEN BLESSED 

June 2019 is a BLESSED month for me regarding OPM the past few weeks have been an OVERLOAD

[freewheelshippin]

30 utapri questions!

Thanks @dekiaibadchoices​ for the tag, this was an awesome way to wind down after a ton of nonstop busy busy busy!!! (and thanks for tagging this blog vs the general utapri one so i can REALLY gush LOL) Here’s the OG meme! 

1. Your best boy?

BANANAMAN RAN WHO ELSE  

2. Your least favorite boy?

“least favorite” implies dislike which...not true! truthfully it’s much of HEAVENS by nature of ‘I haven’t spent as much time getting to know these characters so I don’t really know who they are.’ (though I already know I love to go for drinks and snacks with Van hehe) i do like all of HEAVENS quite a bit from what i’ve seen so far but that affection has not had time to ripen! 

3. A character that you never thought you would love as much as you do now?

mnmnj ranran tbh 

4. A character you can relate to in any way?

I can’t answer everything with Ranmaru but like. His ambition, straightforwardness, and how the soul and spirit of music motivate him to move forward beyond a tough past are things I same hat so much ;; But HONESTLY I also relate a lot to Masa and Tokiya, especially in their moments of self-doubt and dramatic commitment to to their art? 

5. A character that you think deserves more love?

Oh, Cecil, without a doubt. He’s such a resilient, committed, and open-hearted cutie and gets really shafted by canon tbh. Which makes it harder for everyone to see what a great boy this sweetie is! But I appreciate how Shining Live has given him some room to have really cute and standout moments so everyone can love him more but okay like, give me more Ceci and Ran palling around I love him most when they’re up to shenanigans 

6. A character you would want as your partner?

well we’re posting this fuckin here so you all fuckin know (im very embarrass rn i can barely say it lmao) 

(for the record i would also very much like to be friends with reiji and syo, they are cool people i think i’d get along with! and i know myself, if i knew otoya or masato IRL i’d just be like ‘well. that’s my son now’ and basically appoint myself their tough big sis-type-friend lookin out for them lol) 

7. A character you would want as your mentor/senpai?

I would swallow a pinecone before I called him ‘onii-san’ but teach me how to network kotobuki-senpai 

(No, like, forreal, I suck so, so bad at a ton of stuff Reiji is aces at, and I respect the hell out of his *waves* general everything and skilll navigating the industry. Since I’m a goofy, jokey, overenthusiastic teacher for work a lot it’d be nice to be on the receiving end of all that energy! and be a fucking decent kouhai that isn’t so horribly unappreciative of all his hard work and good cheer ) 

8. Your favorite ship?

shut your whore mouth i dont have the marbles to write it out 

(tbh it’s also Haru/Tomo, I just feel so much more romantic chemistry between those two than Haru and any of the boys u___u  Friends’ selfship stuff goes without saying, haha, and ngl I’m kind of About a Ren/Van rivalry hatemance? can i call it a kismesis thing? it’s a kismesis thing.) 

(actually no I think I’m just a member of the “Ren Fucks and sometimes it’s Hatesex” club) 

9. A character that you want to cosplay/have already cosplayed?

I had plans to cosplay Ranmaru a couple months ago bc it’s really not much of a stretch for my wardrobe, haha, but I dunno about that anymore! Part of it was wanting the Euphoria of looking like a tough, twunky, princely anime character but tbqh I’m already that every day of my life so 

I suppose if you were to pull my leg I’d go for cosplaying Van, mostly because I wanna try that mullet on for myself. 

10. Favorite side character?

TOMO!! LOVE U BITCH WHEN WILL I HEAR U SINGGGGGG 

11. Your favorite solo song?

god this is horrible how can I decide??? so many good ones??? I think it’s a draw between Top Star Revolution, No. 1, Brand New Melody, Wild Soul, Seien Brave Heart, and Junketsu Nara Ai ~Aspiration~ ??? 

12. Your favorite duet song?

HMMMMM again too many good ones. Three-way tie between Haru Hana, NorthWind and SunShine, and Original Resonance! 

13. Your favorite trio song?

Ahhh Dream More than Love is really nostalgic bc it’s the first Utapri song I really loved, but i gotta be real. It’s just Egoistic. There’s just no getting better than Egoistic 

14. Your favorite group song?

mmmm i’m be basic. Poison Kiss 

15. Your least favorite song?

I love Ai and Shouta Aoi’s incredible voice but......I’m really not a fan of super slow, overly-saccharine songs. u__u so A.I. really, really doesn’t land with me, much less so than easygoing (like Knocking on the Mind) or somber (like Winter Blossom) songs. 

16. Your favorite singer?

ranran...it’s always ranran...

(I do also adore Natsuki’s and Camus’s voices! I tend to like deeper, richer vocal qualities, but you just can’t beat Ranmaru’s subtle growls and high-energy rock!!!! <3) 

17. Your favorite group/trio/duo?

god what combo of these idiots DONT i love? I could watch Reiji prank and tease Ranmaru all fuckin day, and I also really like it when Ran’s at his most ‘tuff big bro-y’ with, like, Ai, Otoya, and Cecil!!! but honestly I do like how the Ran/Masa/Ren trio isn’t so straightforward and is more or less held together by a thin string of professionalism, there’s something i appreciate about not forcing ppl to just bury the hatchet and be Perfect Friends but you all can still care about each other? (Ranmaru needs to be nicer to them still but...) 

i need to suggest one that isn’t ranmaru centric fjdsioafjsa i fuckin love Soccer Buds (otosyo) and I loooooove it when Otoya and Cecil are good to each other!!! 

18. Your favorite member of Starish?

they’re all my favorite but if you REALLY had to make me pick.....Masato, probably, haha. I just...if you take yourself too seriously and care so much about everything but still know how to be Nasty how can I not love you??? 

19. Your favorite member of Quartet Night?

what do you fuckin think, hoss 

20. Your favorite member of Heavens?

I mentioned earlier I don’t really know Heavens well, so ofc this is all liable to change! But off the bat I love what a conniving yet wholesome bastard Eiichi is and Van is just the kinda guy I would rib and pal around with IRL!! 

21. Your favorite seiyuu/voice actor?

Ahhh that’s tough! I love all these goofbags, and Tattsun really is just so cool and makes music I’m pretty about. But I think I gotta give it to Suwabe, his performances are always so him but still pretty varied, and how can you not adore a man who loves his chihuahuas that much??? 

(if i’m being 100% honest Tattsun lost points bc he voices my absolute least favorite character in granblue ffjsfjisda) 

22. Favorite Drama CD?

HMMMMMMM see as a certified Giant Tool for Everything Mecha and silly and extra, I enjoyed the hell out of Polaris, but it really suffers from a lack of Ranmaru in my humble fuckin opinion lmao. So even though I’m not one for pirate stuff most of the time, I gotta give it to Pirates of the Frontier!! I really loved Ranmaru and Otoya’s dynamic in that one, and Camus was juuuuust the right amount of shitheel, too. 

I haven’t heard the whole thing but that thing from Egoistic where Natsuki squeezes Ranmaru to death and Eiichi’s just like ‘WUAHAHAHAHAH’ is also the mcfuckin best. 

23. Your favorite shining live card?

CAN’T PICK 

HOW COULD I POSSIBLY PICK?????????? LIKE??? I love the fucking dumb, dumb, dumb ostentatiousness of Evil Villains, I LOVE a good heel, and I also worked so so hard to t1 that event and had a lot of fun doing it!! But also, I just love his big smile and all the energy and mixed prints from Fortune and Prosperity, and it was literally the first time I ever got the exact card I was rolling for in a gacha on the last pull I had left!! (He also came home during a time I was really going through some shit, and ngl it rescued me a little bit!) but AHHHH Soulful Bass also came out right around my birthday, I love all the textures in the outfit and it’s generally the most My Aesthetique thing Utapri has ever released!!! And god, I just love it when he’s so confident and in his element like this, it sets me on FIRE to see him light up the stage wurghjgfj ;___; They all make me just want to HUG SO MUCH ARGGHHHHH 

24. Your favorite song beatmap?

Ahhh I think Shining Live really has great beatmaps across the board so that’s a tough pick! Almost all of them are super fun in their own way, but I think I gotta hand it to Wild Soul, Top Star Revolution, and Innocent Wind! 

25. Your least favorite song beatmap?

A.I. u__u Sorry, Ai...it’s just not fun for me.

26. Black Deja Vu or White Gravity?

Actually I’m really glad for this question bc I’ve been so busy lately I hadn’t given myself the time to really check them out! checking ......... 

and yep. Black Deja Vu. (I mean...Ranmaru is on it, haha.) But I’m so about this. Love this heavier sound and all these harmonies, this is so juicy. (White Gravity also absolutely kicks ass though!! I’m really liking that voice group, it’s making especially good use of those higher registers!) 

27. Utapri merch that you own/want?

Honestly I don’t have much u__u Not a lot of Utapri merch is my thing...you know? I’m mostly shopping for Ran merch if I’m getting any, but I’m very picky about how he gets drawn? Keeping his toughness and a particular clothing style about him is so essential, haha, and barely anything hits that sweet spot for me. But I will say I adored the whole ‘My Favorite Things’ series, and if I had the budget and space atm I’d love to get some of the Ran goodies from that line! 

28. How did you get into Utapri?

I first heard about it through some acquaintances from cosplay before Quartet Night was a thing. It didn’t appeal enough to my heavy metal ass to make me drop everything and try it, but I did have an interest in it I couldn’t explain and I’d always intended on trying it out. (especially after I got into Love Live and idol anime for a bit.) But it was Shining Live that got me! And I really only downloaded Shining Live because I was super exhausted after a business trip, didn’t want to leave bed once I got back home, and just wanted to sink my teeth in something new I could enjoy for hours while lying down, haha.  

29. A set theme in shining live that you want to see in the future?

This will surprise nobody, but something tougher. More rock, more punk, more metal. I want all of them in studs and spikes and leather, and I want less polish. More rough! 

I’d also love a wrestler set complete with who’s-a-heel-who’s-a-face but that’s a pipe dream and a half, lmao. 

30. Why do you love your best boy?

Oh boy. 

I think he’s this powerhouse of a human bean who can face a ton of pain and meet it with a big middle finger. And that middle finger is chasing after ambitious dreams, of spreading the power and soul of the same music that made me who I am and influences so much of my work, but also being ... you know, smart about it? He’s an idol because like, sure, maybe it’s not the OG dream, but you can’t dream if you’re dead, and you also deserve to give yourself a life and platform to share some of who you are, and you can do a lot of good with that, too. (And I won’t lie, I respect the drama of a man who takes his hair that seriously and commits so hard to the aesthetic he wears fuckin mismatched contacts i just. charm point ) 

But at the same time....I don’t know, this might sound presumptuous, but. I think. I just think he’d think I’m as neat as I think he is. I’m an ambitious, passionate person, too, and I also furiously stick to my ideals, and I also love the same kind of soul of music he does. I lean a little more metal than I do rock, but I think that’s nice, like sharing it has that ‘alike but different’ kind of familiarity and novelty all at once. Sometimes it’s tough sharing just how deeply rock and metal have sculpted me and my artwork (and therefore my career), bc it’s so deeply personal to me, and sometimes there’s weird elitism/misogyny/racism to deal with, too. But. The way he talks about rock, the way he describes the passion and how it transcends identity and is just a pure rush of power and sharing your feelings..................it just feels like he Gets it the same way I do. Just that unspoken, burning passion and understanding. I know it sounds weird to feel that strongly over just a music genre, but I just vibe with how to him, it really isn’t ‘just’ a music genre. I feel more accepting of myself for it, and I’d like to think he’d be real proud of himself for that.  

And listen, like....I’m very sentimental, but I really don’t like saccharine, flowery, romantic kinds of affection to be lavished on me. Just be straightforward but also a little tsun about it fjdsjfas and ..... those are the kind of feelings I can accept. And that’s the way Ranmaru is, and it’s also grounded in the kind of reality that I don’t like to be swept away from. He’s just so cool and hardworking and unwavering in his passion, it makes it easier for me to do the same despite all the bumps in the road. This got real long but Ran’s a cool dude, haha, I got a lot of positives to say. 

Anyways, I never tag folks for these things, but I love seeing everyone’s answers! If you see this and wanna fill it, feel free to count this as a tag from me :) I know this got real long, but with 30 questions how could it not haha? Thanks for reading and sticking around! 

[izzy-b-hands]

Writing Asks: 1, 13, 22, 44 💛

aaah thank you!!! Answers under the cut cuz u know I write a book when I answer stuff lol

1. What made you start writing?

That’s a funny one actually. I never had like, a real catalyst that made me, but there was like, a moment that made me want to keep doing it and try and make something out of it. That was about second grade, when we got those like, one sheet things shaped like other things to free write on? Lemme see if I can find a pic to put on here of one: 

Like this guy! and there’d be one for every season and the teacher gave you like an hour to free write? 

And without fail every time we got one I always had to ask for more than one page, and the teacher sometimes let me write into the next lesson, and after we got about midway through the year, she called me and my mum in after school to talk about these assignments. Me, with my undiagnosed anxiety at all of seven was in a blind panic and figured I’d somehow done them all wrong, even though I’d never gotten a bad grade on them. 

So we roll in, and I’m shocked to learn she loves my stories, thinks they are “very advanced” for someone my age (I remember that compliment exactly because I legit gave her a hug when she said it, and my teacher was thankfully sweet and chill and just hugged me back lol), and wants to try and nurture that ability in class more but also wanted to tell my mum, so she could do the same outside of class. 

That was the moment my little brain went ‘oh hey, I do really like writing and want to keep doing it. What the fuck’ except I was seven so it was probably heck instead of fuck. And I went on from there to promptly constantly get in trouble for writing in class, in the margins of my notes and in notebooks tucked underneath my class notebooks, and now here I am!

13. What’s your favorite trope? 

Oh man. I had to actually pull up TV Tropes for this, because I guess I never really actively think about it? I maybe should, but hadn’t really until right this minute!

and ngl I immediately thought of Sledgefu, so I’m gonna list a trope associated with that, which is Aroused By Their Voice (as listed by TV Tropes). I still have like, a whole thing I need to write about how Eugene both finds immense comfort in Snafu’s voice, but also when they first met, the accent just...did him in. He was lost. Let Snafu read every book ever to him, and he’d never move from his spot. To other people, upon first meeting a very happy and excited Snafu, might find the accent hard to understand right at first, but Eugene never had the issue. And the stronger Snaf’s accent, the stronger the absolutely doofy, lovey dovey smile on Eugene’s face. 

Outside of that particular ship, it’s also a trope that I myself fall for irl, so when it happens in media I’m just like ‘oh hey same hat’ and everyone likes something relatable. 

22.  How do you deal with writer’s block?

Depends on the day and my mood honestly. Like I’m still working through a major rough patch mentally rn, so even when I did write and wanted to write more I found myself not able to find the energy to do much. So I just...took a break. I haven’t written anything except one poem all week, and now that it’s the weekend I want to try writing again, but if it isn’t happening? Then I’ll step away and play a video game for a few hours and try again later. In moments like this, where my brain is focused on my depression so damn hard, this method usually eventually shakes the writing out of my brain and makes me get it down on paper. 

Other times, when my brain is in better shape, I usually just...make myself write? And tell myself that even if it sucks, even if I hate it at the moment, I’ll be setting it aside as soon as I have it done and can come back and edit it and finish it when I’m in a better state of mind. Sometimes it works, and I go back and finish it, but I also have like, ten drafts from this method that I can’t decide if I like enough to actually fix up. And maybe I never will, but at least I got the words out, I figure. 

44. Would you rather have your WIP adapted into a movie or TV show?

Oooh depends on the WIP.

 If Aten, I think it might be better as like, a short series? Netflix would probably snag it if I shopped it the right way to them. I wouldn’t want to rush it, but also I’m working on what’s going to be the last part and then I’m writing an epilogue, so I don’t know that it would ever fit to be movie length for a script. 

If like, any of my Sledgefu stuff, definitely TV series. That’s just working with the original parameters of the Pacific too, knowing that those characters fit best in the realm of a series. Plus, I could make a good number of seasons between everything I have written so far, the ideas I still have, and the AUs I have. Though I would not let it become a Supernatural, if the decline has happened then I’m not gonna like...keep dragging it on and make Joe and Rami keep filming this at ninety (except for maybe one forward flash to Snaf and Sledge as old and happy together, but there’s prosthetics make up for that, no need to keep it running until the actors are actually that old. That would be just cruel!)

My new Kingsman stuff? Definitely movie. Again, this goes with using the prior form of the art, but I just feel like it would work better and be more fun as a flashy movie. To include all the detail I want to add in, it would need to be longer movies, and more than one, but like...I don’t see the downside there lol. 

As for my other stuff...man. I could go on for ages talking and thinking about it honestly. And I have WIPs I haven’t even talked about on here that like...if I had the time, I would also write a script version of them, for film or TV. Netflix or someone get at me for script-writing is what I’m saying I guess. I’m eager and can be sustained with a 39 cent cup noodle pile in the writers’ room, so you’d be getting away fairly cheap. Hit me up!