#and his views on normal & healthy platonic touch and relationships | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

yuri-for-businesswomen · 1 year ago

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What you said about men not getting horny for their partners and only use them to get off...

It disturbs me that most men are like that. I feel so stigmatized for being single like I have had 2 therapists stigmatize me and suggest there was something wrong with me, and would ask intrusive questions about my sexual and dating history, and even with the information I gave them, would judge me and I felt insane with these therapists like... men are the reason a lot of women go to psch hospital and end up in hospitals, like this whole male dominated system is oppressive and oppression is not good for mental health?!

Anyway, because of how most men are, I expressed to a shrink that I was sad I had not experienced romantic love, she was questioning why I could not experience that now/ really pushed for and assumed I wanted a partner and not grasping betrayal trauma at all.

Like my father was asserting dominance over me.

I had an on and off again dynamic with someone I was dating and that was when he got more threatening and creepy towards me, every time he'd make a sexual remark about my body and how "oh he'd like that" and I'd get upset, he'd say he was "just joking " and "this is how guys are" (in reference to the fact I was 15, and he was comparing his attraction to me to that of a boy my age. Like, he'd make crass comments about me in a bikini and how he'd like to see that.. we were mormon too so I was very uncomfortable. He molested me when I was 4 and I repressed that memory until I was 19, but I thought he was just joking and I was a coward with something wrong with me, that's how I coped because my mother medicated me and pathologized my fears; my family system doesn't hate abusers, they hate truth tellers, we are estranged now since I left the church and cut ties with my father. I am traumatized by it. )

I feel a rage and anguish over my experiences because I learned my father was abusive/ became conscious through my relationships with the boys growing up (left the church because parents normally encourage marriage and my father would tell me if I didn't like his behavior, then to stay away from guys, essentially, was confusing and my mother said he was not being gross or wrong or abusive... she'd tell everyone I had special needs adn things like that....)

I feel impure and guilty for the abuse, anger over being treated like an object, and expressed sadness over basically the fact that my mind is forever messed up by it and I am sad and feel regret over a sense of not experiencing a healthy sexuality..

my first intimate experience that I initiated did feel loving/caring, like he did care about pleasure/wanted me to feel good, (he did not watch porn were both only 15/pretty sheltered from it, but I have never felt safe with a member of the opposite sex since,) it made me dissociate because it didn't feel real, then I froze and pulled away and sometimes look back feeling like a coward and feel a deep regret and shame over not experiencing and exploring a healthy sexuality because I feel that is so rare. I feel repulsed and violated and being gate kept, basically froze up realizing my body wasn't "mine" like my father genuinely viewed me as his property, so I rejected him as a means to protect myself. Was humiliating to be touching feely/intimate and not even kiss/prevented him from doing so because if we were a "thing" I was afraid I might get humiliated, felt like a coward/responsible for not standing up for myself, like I let it happen.

*my father molested me and would share sexual things to me and talkl to me about how sex feels good, makes me want to kill myself. He'd say "this is how guys are" and then would humiliate/cat call me in front of people when some guy was just... speaking to me platonically, he even sexualized my relationship with my brother and I, my brother, I suspect, developed feelings for me and avoided me because of it, never harassed or violated me like my father but never defended or protected me either, stood by the sidelines and in his room, didn't speak to me ever. *

I mal adaptive day dream all the time that my experiences were different, to wash over the filth.

I feel like if i had experienced a. healthy sexuality, I wouldn't feel such violation and shame. I am scared of men now and don't want a bf, I do feel rage over how growing up that was not a choice and i was raised in a cult that talked about free agency, while having a father who said shit like "don't tell guys you are on birth control, or they will think they can have sex with you"; the controlling behavior gives me the creeps. I don't think I will ever fully come to terms with it. I feel murderous rage and anguish all the time. I hate men. My father is the first man who took pleasure in humiliating and violating me, even told me I was pretty when I cried. He'd say this is how guys are, and its disgusting and difficult to accept.

Why are they like this?

hello my dear, thank you for sharing this, i hope it helped you to get it off your chest! it pains me to hear what men put you through - they do that and dont even think about it again while we struggle with it, often for the rest of our lives. its unbelievable your therapists were this incompetent and gross when they should have been there to help you. but i think most therapists arent feminists in that sense they dont even think about how much being a woman in a male dominated society can fuck up your mental health, especially when you experience firsthand male violence like you did. im glad you cut ties with your family especially your awful father but it cant be easy. please dont give up. its not too late. you are not broken. you can get back in touch with your sexuality, with or without men, just give it time and dont pressure yourself, theres nothing wrong with you at all. do you feel safe where you are now? do you have friends who support you? are you still trying to find a therapist who will actually support you? you are more than welcome to either drop into my dms whenever you want to talk or just vent and rant or stay on anon to do so. i send you a big hug!

#ask #men are pigs

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shroomystar · 5 months ago

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Your response on Mickbell's family and background was an exhilarating read – genuinely, the canon facts presented and your interpretation of them fit so well together and there's a certain writer's touch to it that it makes the imagination run wild.

...if you don't mind me asking, do you have any thoughts about Kuro that you'd like to share? 👉👈

thank you so much!!! i'm so glad you liked it, i love thinking about it. mickbell......!!! i love you!!!!!

as for kuro...... wah. sorry. there's a reason i've been putting off answering this for quite some time now (again :() and it's bcuz i...... don't really. sgdhdgfhjf. i love kuro but to me he's interesting in the mickuro (platonic) and mickrinkuro (platonic?) context only... and his friendship with kabru, though to a lesser extend. he's there to be in the middle for me, a mediator of sorts (?) lol. he's not a parental figure to either rin or mick (though he thinks of himself as such towards mick, i feel like; or big brother-like, though it's unrequited lmfao) but i feel like esp in a mickrin context he acts like one. like ah they grow up so fast... the youngins in love.... i'm so glad mickbell found someone ... wiping fond tear from his eye. idk. that's what i think is fun with kuro, him being this thirdwheel to mickrin but he loves them both a lot and is very happy for them. him and mickbell are uncomfortably close ofc which sometimes bothers rin i feel like (cough. mickbell thinks it's totally normal to have sex with kuro in the room etc), but they are fambly... they truly are fambly to me.

i like thinking about mickbell & kuro's dynamic, and how fucked up and unhealthy it is, it's interesting; but i've never really gotten around to wrapping my head around any type of closure for it. i feel like it calms down over the years, and especially with kuro learning more common, mickbell eventually respects his autonomy more. it's a hard road and mickbell clings a lot and throws tantrums and is so so afraid kuro will leave but kuro stays so eventually it's okay. is their relationship perfect? no. is it necessarily healthy, even now? also no. but it works well enough. good for them, idk. god i love them. so fascinating.

that all is to say, outside of mickbell and mickbell-and-kuro, i don't really have much kuro thoughts, my apologies. feels like i myself am mickbell saying this bcuz he also views kuro as an extension of himself, lmao. i'd love brainstorming w someone about kuro's past & his interests & personality outside of mickbell, but for myself it's just... wah. so much about kuro is attaching himself to mickbell completely and sort of losing himself into it & i personally find that the most interesting. idk.

#answered #i promise i love you kuro. sorry.

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wolftails-funkin-arts · 1 year ago

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The official bios for the Blue,Green and Redstars (including their aoft,B3 and Neo versions)

Bluestar:Red,Green and Purplestars Boyfriend (Purplestar and her versions have her own bio and its platonic between the two). He's a sweet and innocent person whose good at singing and good at using his magic. Used to date his Greenstar until they got into an argument. However thanks to Redstar the two got back together (but Bluestar was still dating Redstar) and they moved in together. The four are often always together and like writing down what these encounter and usually have Redstars parents deal with the preserving of the species of these worlds. He and Greenstar get pretty emotional whenever they reminiscent about their initial breakup but are doing alot better. He's also really protective of Redstar and will take out anyone that harms her (while Greenstar has to protect the two). He even wears a cloak like Redstar so their matching (Greenstar not so much). Also he can get cocky at times he is overall a sweet little guy. Also like Ceruleanstar his relationship with his parents isn't the best but not the worse its sorta neutral. But can be pretty sensitive at times but always has Red or Greenstar to help comfort him (same if Redstar has her episodes him or Purplestar will immediately be there for her)

Sexuality: Bisexual

Redstar:Bluestar and Purplestars romantic girlfriend and Greenstars platonic partner. She's the opposite of her minus version as she dresses up professionally like the redglasses,the black overcoat (though she wears red pajama pants and a red cape). But can be just as romantic/flirty as she can. But she's pretty emotional and has body issues (like Grace and her Collector counterpart). But her partners reassure her she's beautiful the way she is. Also her partners are good friends with Infinity and even have his number (while they can be viewed as adults all of them are still newborns technically speaking). But they'd get along with the other versions of themselves and him. She's pretty effective of her magic but normally let's Blue or Greenstar do the work and normally is the one documenting the species. Also her parents are alot chiller and never tried harming Bluestar (since no one can kill them besides other Collector's and Titans). Yeah her relationship with her parents is just as healthy as Girlfriend's.But she's still afraid of lightning alongside Bluestar and the other Blue,Purplestars.Also Bluestar lives burying his head into her soft long hair (she finds it comfy and sometimes puts it in a ponytail or something like that).

Sexuality:Pansexual

Greenstar:Bluestars romantic boyfriend and Red and Purplestars platonic boyfriend. Unlike the others he doesn't wear a cloak and instead a green hoody with a hood and a black overcoat (what can I say Redstar pulls off the look). And can be pretty aggressive whenever his partners are provoked or attacked. Hes definitely the least sensitive of the four but isn't full on immune to tears (usually when reminiscing about his and Bluestars massive argument). But despite this he's a nice guy and is easy to bond with. He and Redstar do occasionally fight for Bluestar but otherwise they'd basically be brother and sister (also unlike Girlfriend and Pico the two never hated and bonded as soon as he and Bluestar got back in touch). Also he normally prefers physical combat but isn't afraid of using magic (which he's skilled at). He also is there for Redstar when she has her moments but often rarely physically comforts her. Also has a rocky relationship with his parents

Sexuality:Homosexual

Soft Bluestar:Soft Bluestar grew up with abusive parents like his mortal version. He wanted to paint and not preserve (which gives off similar vibes to The Archivists and The Collector). But often got burned in the neck by cigarettes. Eventually he ran away with Soft Greenstar and ended in an entirely new universe were they ran into the other stars. They moved in and actually allowed Pinkstar to move in too (the two discovered they both had feelings for her and suprise suprise it's a three way). While his friends encourage his painting he wants to help them so he often draws the planets,the anatomy of the species anything to help out. He's pretty emotional but his partners are there for him. Eventually he gets adopted by Zion (who you'll learn about soon). He's not as skilled in magic as he should be but his friends are still giving him equal says during meetings. Also unlike the other Bluestars this one can handle cigar/cigarette odor for obvious reasons. But he does have night terrors,PTSD and is afraid that his parents will find him one day. But if that happens he and his friends won't go down without a fight. But he does love wearing his cloak (he probably wears roughly the same clothes as Benjamin but pajama pants or something lol)

Sexuality:Bisexual

Soft Greenstar: Soft Bluestar and Pinkstars Boyfriend. He's really protective of his softie and has no issue killing any of the planet's lifeforms if they harm him. He can get quite aggressive too. He's essentially his bodyguard and despite his appearance (the face mask) he's capable of doing damage with his magic. Oddly enough he wears a cloak unlike majority of the greenstars. And he is a genuine nice guy. His relationship with his parents is also really rocky. He's a pretty soft hugger despite his nickname toughie. He also doesn't midn whenever Pinkstar wants a turn hugging Soft Bluestar. He's also pretty patient with his friends and at times silently follow orders his pals want him to do. He does leave a mark which has some people worshipping him as a deity (which none of them are aware of not even himself). But if the others found out they'd likely want to chat with him about it.......also loves wrapping himself and Soft Bluestar within his cloak and blanket (nice little double warmth). He also only takes his face mask off at home alongside his hoody.

Sexuality:Bisexual

Pinkstar:Pinkstar is just about a legit angel she's sweet,cheerful and a really nice person. Like og Redstar she has body issues (despite the other girls reassuring her that she's cute) and rarely eats (which isn't as bad as it sounds since she's a God but still). She also is pretty sensitive but her friends are there for her. She also developed a strong bond with the other girls and may or may not have romantic feelings for them all (she does but it's fine). She's still pretty skilled at magic. She's usually there as moral support for Soft Bluestar (but is just as protective or needs just as much protection as him). She also has a special bond with Limestar and OG Redstar due to all three having similar issues (they definitely would group hug comforting eachother). They do wear a cloak but also a jacket/vest similar to her mortal counterpart to obscure her body. It's also pretty uncommon seeing her mad........so if the others see her mad at a lifeforms of the planet their observing...you might and SHOULD send one over. Also never was really manipulated into thinking she and Soft Bluestar would be a couple (but still had feelings for him)and honestly doesn't mind sharing him with Soft Greenstar (cause sharing is caring lol)

Sexuality: Pansexual

B3 Bluestar:The B3 version of Bluestar and is honestly alot more braver and manlieer than him....(but he still can get scared). He's white and B3 Greenstars boyfriend. Also loves wearing sunglasses with his cape (makes him look like a celebrity). But he is still just as sweet as the OG Bluestar. Unlike his mortal version Bluestar is his actual name (his parents may or may not be partially color blind) but no one minds it. He's willing to use his powers whenever someone tries provoking him or his friends. Also unlike OG Bluestar him and B3 Greenstar got back together while living in the house with the others. But their initial breakup was ALOT CHILLER then the other two let me me tell you that and doesn't get as emotional when reminiscing it

Sexuality:Bisexual

Whitestar: B3 Blue and Greenstars girlfirend and is a sweety like the rest. Like Limestar she's trans MTF but has found a way to alter her appearance. Similar to Pinkstar she gets real cuddly with B3 Greenstar or the other girls. She's also probably just as strong as Minus Redstar (whose probably the overall ruler of the group). But trust me she can get annoyed whenever she's harassed (Green glow in eyes equals oh no). She's definitely someone who will listen to talk to (like she'd listen if you vented about something). Also like Minus Redstar her clothing design is pretty...."charmin" so she's usually wrapped up in her cloak while visiting other worlds. Cause in the past she's had to deal with "those" types of guys and she'd chucked them into mountains. Like I said she's pretty effective. Although she doesn't really lim using her magic on mortals as it's considered a bit of brute force or something. But if she has to she will. She does make sure her friends have all had a say during meetings and no one is left unheard/ignored.

Sexuality:Bisexual

B3 Greenstar: Whitestar and B3 Bluestars partners and is roughly the same as his mortal counterpart. He's a famous streamer and loves wearing a flashy red cloak to symbolize his stardom but the others love it and he doesn't brag about it either. Unlike his mortal counterpart he never found another boyfriend and the three B3 guys just became a three way. Also loves playing video games with the others and they have a blast. He's arguably one of the more important ones as his stardom has made the planet's alot easier and manageable. He also wears a t shirt with dark blue baggy pajamas so he's comfy like 24/7. He can be quite the sassy guy but is a cool and kind guy after all. He is skilled in magic probably due to the video games enhancing his hand muscles or something. Also loves wearing his glasses and his partners love it too.

Sexuality:Bisexual

Neo Bluestar:Him and his partners are a subspecies of Collector's dedicated to the neon lifestyle and partying. He's a party animal all right and can dance the night away. Doesn't wear a cloak but his girlfriend still does (she just pulls off the look) but once you get to know him he's a good guy to hang with. However unlike his mortal version he got back together with Neo Greenstar and needless to say it's like they never did break up. He's also protective of his girlfriend and can be quite hard to beat with his magic. He loves listening to music with headphones he got as a gift. Also is a pretty good person to vent frustrations to.

Sexuality:Bisexual

Neo Redstar:OH boy this girl is a sweet and stylish. With her Neo colored cloak and pink shirt with black shorts she can fluster the rest with ease. But she's a nice girl and is pretty skilled with magic. Also has no problem wiping out entire dance floors if they try flirting with her. Also the three have a special relationship with he B3 trion. She's just as sweet as the others and is a EXCELLENT AT HUGGING. She can be quite flirty and doesn't care what star it is. She is there for her girlfriends whenever their struggling with something. She also is overall the communication between the stars and other planet's.

Sexuality:Pansexual

Neo Greenstar:He's one tough dude and is arguably the second strongest of them all. He's a tech expert and studies the technology of the planet's and has his black coat (like Live action Eggman or something) and looks just about exactly like his mortal counterpart besides the lemon skin,blotch but still. He actually suggested the three way after seeing everyone else was polyamourus relationship and felt jealous. And Neo Blue and Redstar were a bit reluctant at first but after a while....they hit it off well. Despite his tough appearance he's honestly really nice and is like the older brother figure like Minus Bluestar. He is really strong with his magic so don't think he's a pushover.

Sexuality:Bisexual

Random trivia about the stars

While they can't stand the stench of cigarettes or cigars (besides the greenstars,Goldstar and Soft Bluestar) their all alot more chill about it and kindly ask you to smoke outside...unless the person smoking had a rough time then their just patiently wait until their better and THEN ASK or just suck it up

They often set up communication with the other Collector factions/subspecies of Collector's out their and other species to make sure no inter galactic war happens.

All the stars are essentially in one giant polyamourus relationship as the girls are cuddly with eachother and kiss....but the guys are perfectly fine with it and find it cute (they all don't do you know what's however YEESH)

Theyd all likely cry seeing a sad movie or story

the boys do often wrap arms around eachother (like Neo Bluestar puts a shoulder around Limestars or hold hands) but the girls are fine with it as well

New headcanon for Minus Redstar:She's a really soft and comfy hugger and can put any of the stars to sleep with her comfy or her heartbeat (Lime and Pinkstar know about the feeling)

They'd all essentially go fan crazy when meeting the vampire guys (you'll see why)

The main reason why there's so much polyamourus in the house is the fact Collector's have probably several ways of making offspring with the DNA of two or more lifeforms

Minus Redstar was naturally selected to be the "ruler" of them....but there's no real ruler between them all

They never really delt with transphobia before

Despite Vampire Collector's existing Whitestar is a basic Collector

Usually twice a week the guys sleep downstairs while the girls are up (Cyanstar often goes back and fourth)

None of them do two or more pronouns

They often do double dates

Their probably easier to bond with then their mortal counterparts

They'd just about easily defeat any opponent the mortal guys faced........ANY

While they are all like 19 to 20 trillion their are all still extremely young for their species (they also are still going through like puberty or stuff like that and trust me.....hugging and crying is involved) but Limestar has it the hardest though.....poor thing

The guys enjoy playing Fall Guys or any popular competitive game while the girls sit back and watch or join in sometimes they do tournaments

They all rarely argue with eachother

Limestar is the lightest of them all

The main reason why Benjamin's collector counterpart is called "Soft Bluestar" is because his hair is Cerulean and we already have a Ceruleanstar

They all love McDonald's

Its really never specified/made clear on why only one of them is Non binary even though it's the norm for them

They definitely have group hugs crying whenever they witness something extremely heartbreaking and depending on what it is they take a long break (longest break they've taken was maybe 100 years)

They all change pajamas at night

(I'll message you if I have more and will give you the Purplestars tommorow.....then the others....haha)

Ooooh noice ^^👌

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bisluthq · 4 years ago

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hi nat! i know you don’t believe in kaylor anymore, but i wanted to send in my kaylor/joshlie theory, just as food for thought and fun speculation.

CW: ED

background:

back in 2017, i made a new friend. i quickly became kinda obsessed with her. i idolized how tall and skinny she was, her radiant sunshine-like presence, and the way she was so much cooler than me. something about her just drew me in like a magnet.

one day she told me that she was “bi-curious,” and i felt the unexplainable urge to tell her that i was queer too—so i did.

thus started our intense homoerotic friendship. we talked about everything, and she was rather touchy and flirty with me (we even hooked up a few times). but she was hung up on this dude who she’d been in a long-term off-and-on relationship with. looking back, i think she saw me as a willing participant in her experimentation phase—a source of casual fun while on a break from her ‘real’ relationship (plus, i came with the added bonus of helping her figure out her sexuality a bit).

meanwhile, i was serious about us because i was in love with her. as such, the relationship was obviously very unhealthy: neither of us had appropriate expectations of the other, and because of the imbalance in our level of commitment/love, she ended up inadvertently taking advantage of my friendship in ways that only increased my obsession with her. naturally, our friendship eventually imploded.

i think the kaylor story may look similar.

my theory on kaylor:

i think that kaylor had a very similar friendship as me and my friend. their connection obviously started out as pr, but they ended up getting along well and bonded. thus started their genuine friendship.

i think that their eating disorders were likely a strong source of bonding/connection for them, as this was the case for me and my friend as well. i wanted to emulate how skinny my friend was, just how i think taylor wanted to emulate how skinny karlie was. (remember the vogue best best friends video, in which taylor complemented karlie’s “shiny abs.”) this is obviously an unhealthy place to start a friendship: from day one, you are on uneven ground, where one person is essentially worshipping the other and seeing them as a god-like figure to emulate.

imagine that taylor in that sort of mindset with karlie. and on top of that, she’s attracted to karlie—obsessed with her skinny body, her sunshine-like personality, how sophisticated she is, how effortlessly successful she is, etc. she develops an infatuation with karlie. she wants to take karlie to big sur with her and play 1989 on the way, and she’s so obsessed with karlie that she wants to tell her the truth about the 1989 muse. (trust me, it’s feasible—i told my friend shit i’d never have even imagined confessing to another human, all because of how infatuated with her i was.) so taylor and karlie sit down, have an intensely emotional conversation about how taylor is bi, how the pressures of staying closeted gut her every day, how her relationship with the 1989 muse dianna was so full of strife due to closeting, etc. /// or maybe taylor feels that she must disclose her bisexuality to karlie before the big sur trip. she’s terrified that if she doesn’t tell karlie she’s bi, then karlie will somehow find out. and taylor’s afraid that then, karlie will be creeped out that a ~predatory lesbian~ invited her on a three-month sleepover, leading to the demise of their friendship. so taylor must avoid that outcome – so she must come out to karlie.

so, for either reason i described, taylor comes out to karlie. considering how scared taylor is to come out to karlie (since it might ruin their friendship, or karlie might maliciously out her to others now that she knows, etc.) and considering how generally poor taylor’s mental health was at the time, the coming out inevitably evolves into an intensely emotional conversation about taylor’s fears, insecurities, the pressures of being a closeted mega-celebrity, etc. perhaps karlie feels compelled to match the level of emotion and vulnerability, motivating her to tell taylor “i’m questioning if i might be a little bi too.” or perhaps taylor’s level of earnestness and rawness stirs up the illusion of intense emotions inside of karlie. so, karlie “comes out” to taylor – confessing that she’s questioning/bi-curious (for context, i think karlie is kinsey 1). /// (to show the validity of this possibility – this is how evangelical churches, such as the one shown in the 2006 documentary “jesus camp”, are able to convince children that they’re being overcome by the holy spirit, being prompted by god to break down in tears, etc. – psychologically speaking, when people are put into highly intense emotional situations, [such as taylor breaking down while coming out to karlie], their brains will feel inadvertent pressure to match the level of emotion. as such, their brains will either exacerbate existing relevant emotions, or create the illusion of relevant strong emotions. [this is probably especially true for karlie, since she is an empath and a people pleaser.]).

thus starts the “friends with occasional benefits” stage. karlie views the relationship as something casual, something that gal pals do sometimes, something fun to experiment with while she and josh are on a break, and maybe with the added bonus of helping her figure out if she’s actually a little bit queer.

but taylor falls hard. as i already said, i think taylor was infatuated with karlie’s personality, success, and skinniness. that’s why taylor is willing to engage in such an unhealthy and un-reciprocal relationship: she’s willing to tolerate josh’s presence, because her brain is so fixated on karlie that she’s willing to endure anything for her. taylor may even recognize that kaylor is doomed, but she’s so in love/obsessed that she can’t bring herself to care about anything other than the utter infatuation she feels in this present moment. (this was true of me and my friend – my friend would literally vent to me about her long-term on-again-off-again boyfriend, and i was willing to endure it because of how obsessed with her i was.) or maybe taylor’s somewhat in denial about josh. (this was also true of me and my friend – i had such a hard time conceptualizing that she had feelings for the man that my brain, to some extent, refused to fully grasp the reality of that.) or maybe taylor was even in denial about how intensely she loved karlie, convincing herself that she just really valued her platonic friendship (i also did this – it took me months to admit that i had a crush on my friend and admit that my level of obsession wasn’t normal gal pal behavior – even though i was already out to myself.) also keep in mind the eating disorder dynamic here – taylor looked to karlie as an idol regarding how to eat healthy, exercise, be skinny, and be successful. the mindset of people engaged in eating disorders tends to be obsessive and unhealthy to the extent of being willing to ignore reality / unknowingly refusing to accept reality, possibly including the reality of josh, if taylor feels like her skinniness is dependent on her connection with karlie.

so basically, karlie sees this as a gal pal fling, friends with the occasional casual benefit. taylor, conversely, is infatuated with karlie. one thing that really confirms this for me is kissgate. taylor was liking kaylor shipped tumblr posts shortly before kissgate – she obviously was feeling something for karlie that night. but karlie wasn’t committed to taylor to the same level – yes they (allegedly) made out, but karlie made out with josh immediately afterwards. /// to taylor, kaylor is a ship, an endgame. but to karlie, taylor is just a fun little pit stop, and she’s gonna go make out with her real boyfie immediately after.

eventually, the friendship inevitably implodes, leading to their breakup in 2016. some straw finally breaks the camel’s back on this relationship which was unhealthy and doomed from day 1.

now let’s look at lyrical evidence from repuation that supports my theory.

lyrical evidence from reputation:

ready for it

the bearding anthem. verses “he” are joe, as confirmed by the music video. chorus “you” is her fantasy idealized version of long-term kaylor.

there’s a reason that the “you” relationship (in the chorus) is happening IN HER DREAMS and not in real life – she pines for this committed and serious relationship with karlie, but that’s not reality.

but taylor has hope that it might happen – “i know i’m gonna be with you, so I TAKE MY TIME.” she imagines they’ll be friends-to-lovers, and she’s willing to wait as long as necessary for them to fully reach that lovers stage

this is a stretch, but “thief”/“robber” may refer to how she’s “stealing” karlie from josh lol. “touch me and you’ll never be alone” may also be a cheeky reference how taylor was like a temporary placeholder for josh – when karlie felt alone bc she and josh were on a break, taylor was like “touch me karlie, to keep you occupied while josh has left you alone. and oh yeah, if you end up in a relationship with me, then i promise that you’ll never be alone, bc i will commit to you, unlike that josh boy. i will be so much better than him, if you just let me.”

end game (but only the chorus/verse which taylor wrote)

“i WANNA be your endgame” – taylor is not in a committed relationship with karlie. as karlie sees it, they’re just fooling around. but taylor wants more than that: she wants to be karlie’s endgame.

“you and me would be a big conversation” bc they’re gay. (sorry joseph matthew alwyn, this line is not about you)

“i don’t wanna touch you …… like the other girls do” may be a reference to how karlie is gal pals with plenty of her female friends (example – her platonic yet very affectionate relationship with toni garrn). but taylor wants more than that – she wants their touches to be romantic rather than just platonic/occasionally casually sexual.

“i don’t wanna hurt you” – taylor fears that she’s bad news for karlie (a sentiment repeated in the first line of delicate, the bridge of i did something bad, etc.). this may be internalized homophobia – the predatory lesbian falls in love with her pure/innocent straight best friend and then corrupts her with homosexuality.

“but i ain’t tryna play” – taylor wants this relationship to be more than just the occasional fun/playful/casual hook up. she wants to be karlie’s end game.

“i hit you like ‘bang’, we tried to forget it, but we just couldn’t” may refer to the first time they hooked up. it was unexpected, just happened so suddenly (“like ‘bang’”). and they were just going to put it past them – sometimes friends hook up, it’s whatever. but taylor can’t move on from it.

“your body is gold” – self-explanatory. karlie is the gold rush girl, after all.

“you’ve been calling my bluff on all my usual tricks” reminds me of how i used to try to communicate my seriousness/love to my friend, but she’d laugh it off and assume i was joking. conversely, perhaps the “trick” is that taylor is pretending that she’s not super invested in karlie—maybe karlie is catching on to the fact that taylor is infatuated with her in a ~gay way~. taylor denies it, but karlie calls her bluff on that statement.

“here’s the truth from my red lips” – but in the music video, her lips aren’t red when she says this line. this may allude to all of the lying involved in her relationship with karlie (such as lying about just how in love with karlie she really was). or taylor may have her lips a different color because the truth has changed from the time she wrote this song to the time she’s filming the video – when she wrote this song, it was true that she wanted to be karlie’s endgame. but by the time rep era is here and they’re filming this video, the kaylor friendship is over, and it is no longer true that taylor wants to be karlie’s endgame.

i did something bad

just like in “ready for it”, i think the verses primarily refer to bearding (or maybe calvin/kimye, idk), but the chorus is about karlie.

“they say did something bad / then why’s it feel so good” – it is bad that she slept with karlie despite the fact that karlie is in a complicated long term relationship with josh. but the sex felt good ¯\_ (ツ)_/¯

“and i’d do it over and over and over again / IF I COULD” – this implies that taylor only did ~the bad thing~ a few times, and she was unable to do it more times, even though she wanted to. this lines up with my theory that she and karlie hooked up a few times (casually in karlie’s eyes), but taylor wanted it to be more than just a few times (she wanted to be karlie’s endgame). but they couldn’t get to that committed place of routinely having sex bc karlie was still low key hung up on josh.

this is a very unlikely reach but – “he says ‘don’t throw away a good thing’” – “he” might be josh speaking to karlie about their relationship.

in the bridge, taylor says that she is a witch being unjustly burned. the witch is burned because she is being accused of the sin of dark magic – this parallels josh accusing taylor of being a witch who committed the sin of sleeping with his girlfriend, or maybe even the sin of “corrupting” the pure straight girl karlie. furthermore, the bridge invokes religious imagery of purgatory. and tbh, religious imagery is almost always gay xoxo.

don’t blame me

“don’t blame me, love made me crazy” again implies that taylor has committed a sort of ~crime~, such as the ~crimes~ i just mentioned regarding the don’t blame me bridge.

“my drug is my baby” – the drug reference makes me think of dependency. the obsession and infatuation i experienced with my friend (and that i suspect taylor experienced with karlie) is sort of like a drug dependency – and just like a drug dependency, the need for each other is not reciprocal (the drug does not need you back).

“shaking, pacing, i just need you” implies that taylor does not have “you”, which is consistent with my theory that she wanted kaylor to be endgame whereas karlie was only willing to doing occasional gal pal hook ups.

“for you, i would cross the line” / “they say she’s gone too far this time” – sleeping with josh kushner’s ~innocent straight~ girlfriend certainly crosses a line, lol.

“i would waste my time” – as i mentioned in my ready for it analysis, taylor hopes that kaylor be friends-to-lovers. she’s willing to wait as long as necessary for them to fully reach that lovers stage, even though she recognizes that the relationship is doomed and thus a waste of time.

“my name is whatever you decide” – we don’t have to “girlfriends.” we can just be “friends with benefits” or “gal pals” or whatever name you decide, because i am so desperate to have you at all that i will accept you in any form.

“i’m insane, but i’m your baby” – acknowledging that this unhealthy relationship/infatuation she has with karlie is “insane”

“halo hiding my OBSESSION” – “obsession” (!!!!) (that’s what i’ve been saying kaylor was!!!). also, “halo” is a religious metaphor, and religious metaphors are always gay xoxo. and this is a reach, but as a victoria’s secret angel, karlie wears a halo.

“i once was poison ivy, but now i’m your daisy” – i’m sorry, but i’ll never get over the fact that karlie tagged the daisy as taylor, and then taylor drew a picture of a daisy in an identical position above the word “daisy” in the handwritten lyrics.

“for you, i would fall from grace / just to touch your face” – religious metaphors are gay xoxo!

delicate – unsure if this song is about karlie (i think it’s more likely about lily or even joe), but if it is about karlie, it does align well with my kaylor theory.

“this ain’t for the best” – doomed relationship due to josh, corruption of straight girl, karlie won’t commit, etc.

“we can’t make / any promises” – karlie can’t commit to taylor like taylor wants/needs

“is it cool that i said all that? is it chill that you’re in my head? cuz i know that it’s delicate” – is it cool that i have gay feelings for you, bestie, because i know we’re toeing a very delicate line between friends and lovers?

“third floor on the west side” – iirc, the master bedroom of karlie’s west side apartment was on the third floor

“do the girls back home touch you like i do?” – contrasting platonic girls’ touches to the type of touch taylor is giving her. (similar vibe to “i don’t wanna touch you …… like the other girls do” in end game)

“stay here, honey, I DON’T WANNA SHARE” – i don’t wanna share you with josh

“I PRETEND YOU’RE MINE ALL THE DAMN TIME” – implies that karlie is not hers all the time (because she’s josh’s)

“i like you …… i want you” – taylor is Yearning™ for a deeper/more serious relationship with karlie

look what you made me do

i don’t think this song has much substance, but it may draw on themes/emotions from the kaylor friendship break up.

“i don’t like your games” – i don’t like how you led me on, making me feel like we could be forever when, in reality, you were never going to commit to me because you loved josh

“don’t like your tilted stage” – this reminds me of the power imbalance i mentioned earlier: taylor was obsessed with karlie and idolized her. karlie did not reciprocate this dedication and infatuation. because taylor’s love for karlie is so much more intense than karlie’s love for her, the metaphorical scale is imbalanced, making it tilt.

“the role you made me play, of the fool” – you made me out to be a fool, ready to confess my undying love even though you could never reciprocate. // furthermore, the “role” may refer to how they had to act like platonic girl squad besties as per their pr arrangement (reminds me of how karlie publicly said “taylor and i are still besties” after karlie’s name wasn’t on the junior jewels shirt in the lwymmd mv, how karlie promo-ed the “Me!” filter on Instagram, the song closure, etc.)

“your perfect crime” – the crime of sleeping with taylor despite being low key still with josh

“i got smarter” – i began to realize how unhealthy this warped and imbalanced friendship was

“you asked me for a place to sleep / locked me out and threw a feast” – this may refer to karlie had a ~designated bestie sleepover room~ in taylor’s house, and that enty blind about how karlie used taylor’s credit card and that caused a feud lol

i do not think that “so it goes” is about karlie – it’s too reciprocal. i don’t think gorgeous is about karlie specifically – maybe lily or just women in general. and i agree with andy’s theory that getaway car is more so an exercise in storytelling than a song that contains substantive clues about her relationships.

king of my heart

we have the photos showing that taylor wrote/recorded this after facetiming with karlie to watch the sunset together. taylor wrote this right after that romantic coded date, presumably during a high point of their friendship/relationship – as such, this song is more idealistic than most other kaylor songs. taylor is hopeful about the future of a committed endgame kaylor. (but, we’ll also see that taylor does still have some insecurities about kaylor.)

“now you try on calling me baby like trying on clothes” – karlie is just “trying on” calling her baby. karlie is new to this whole wlw thing, and she won’t be wearing these metaphorical clothes (a wlw relationship) for long – she’s just trying them on. furthermore, “trying on clothes” may reference how karlie is a model.

“salute to me, i’m your american queen” – i think i remember from my ttb days (derogatory) that there’s a video clip of karlie calling taylor “the perfect all-american girl” whilst doing a salute.

“you move to me like a motown beat” may reference the “motown beats” instagram post where kaylor are putting on lipstick together

the fact that taylor includes the line “all the boys and their expensive cars … never took me quite where you do” may be a sign of taylor’s insecurity. i think this may be a message to karlie – ‘yes, josh is a rich boy with expensive cars, but look, we are so much better than joshlie is.’ calling josh a mere “boy” is also a funny little insult – he’s not a man, he’s just some silly little boy who can’t satisfy you like i can.

“body and soul” – i think it might be significant that taylor specifies body AND soul. they’re already connected by the soul through their close friendship – but now they’re connecting sexually with their bodies as well. conversely, this could reference how they’ve already connected bodily through casual gal pal hook ups, but now taylor believes that they’re starting to connect on that romantic soul level as well.

“school girl crush” gives me such unreciprocated crush vibes. maybe taylor’s crush was unreciprocated for a while, but she has reason to believe that their relationship is growing into ~more than just friends~, as she’s desired

“drinking beer out of plastic cups” – knicks game

“say you fancy me, not fancy stuff” – “fancy” could just be straight-bait to make swiftwyn beards look more convincing, or it could be a re-dedication of the song to joe (just how the bridge of dress re-dedicated that song to joe). (for context, i believe in swiftwyn beards-to-lovers.) but what’s important here is that “fancying stuff” made me think of how, as a model, karlie is like madona’s Material Girl. rich boy josh with his fancy cars can give karlie more “stuff” to satisfy her inner material girl, but taylor wants to show karlie that she can give her deeper fulfillment than that.

“this is enough” – this might be taylor reassuring herself that their relationship, despite being in a weird ~gal pals who hook up occassionally~ is enough. even though they’re not ~girlfriends~, the relationship is enough, because taylor believes that they’re working their way towards that ~body and soul endgame wives~ type of relationship.

“all at once” may refer to a seemingly sudden shift in the nature of their relationship – one day, they’re (infuriatingly) just gal pals who hook up, but all of a sudden, taylor has reason to believe/hope that maybe they’re starting to be more than that, maybe inching their way towards endgame territory.

i do not think that dancing with our hands tied is necessarily about karlie. it seems too reciprocal to be just about her; it might be an amalgamation of many relationships and how she frequently fears being outed.

dress

“a golden tattoo” – drake’s party. also, karlie is gold rush girl

“all of this silence, pining and anticipation / my hands are shaking from holding back from you / all of this silence, pining and desperately waiting” – once again implies that taylor does not have karlie the way she wants her. there’s “pining” because she wants more than karlie can give. and taylor is “desperately waiting” in hopes that maybe one day karlie will reciprocate her love to the full extent that she desires

“i don’t want you like a best friend” – self-explanatory

“carve your name into my bedpost” – taylor is making a request – ‘please commit, please leave a sign that you are committed to me forever, please be my endgame.’ note the dichotomy between this plea for karlie to take the initiative to make the carving, versus the statement in the first verse of how karlie inadvertently left “an indentation in the shape of” her. the indentation was not an act of karlie’s chosen will – taylor just so happened to fall in love with her, and now she’s asking karlie to reciprocate by making that carving.

“inescapable, i’m not even gonna try” – taylor is resigned to the fact that she’s fallen for karlie, even though the relationship might be doomed (as the next line demonstrates)

“if I get burned, at least we were electrified” – taylor is acknowledging that this relationship is low key doomed, and if anyone is going to get hurt, it’ll be taylor. taylor will be the one getting “burned” by the intensity of her infatuation, whereas karlie won’t be burned because she never reciprocated that intense love. /// going back to my commentary on “carve your name into my bedpost” – note how taylor frequently references karlie “claiming” her (with “marks”, “indentations”, “carvings”, and now “burns”), whereas taylor never states that she’s claimed karlie in any way. i think this may reflect taylor’s recognition that she has fallen much harder for karlie than karlie has for her. karlie does not bear marks, indentations, carvings, or burns from their relationship, because she was never as committed as taylor was. but taylor bears all those things because it is she who fell so hard for karlie.

“you kiss my face and we’re both drunk” reminds me of that trope where the gal pals only make out when they’re drunk because they’re convinced they’re actually straight. maybe karlie is one of those straight girls who only has so much capacity for wlw sex, meaning that it happens more often when she’s drunk than when sober.

i do not think that “this is why we can’t have nice things” is a direct karlie song. it may indirectly reference how karlie “broke” the “nice thing” that was their relationship by refusing to commit, but i don’t think that the song has anything substantive to show us about kaylor.

i’m not sure if i think “call it what you want” is a kaylor song. on some level, “fit like a daydream” does sound like eating disorder taylor idolizing karlie’s body, and it’s interesting to me how the subject of the song expresses virtually no devotion to taylor, whereas taylor spends the whole song telling the subject “call it what you want – call us girlfriends, gal pals, whatever you want as long as i can keep you.” this reminds me a bit of kaylor.

new year’s day

“don’t read the last page” because i know that this book has a sad ending. this relationship is doomed, and it’s going to end poorly. but let’s put that out of our minds – i’m to infatuated with you in this moment to think about how this will inevitably end.

“i stay when you’re lost and i’m scared and you’re turning away” – when karlie is “lost” (leaving taylor to go back to josh) or “turning away” from taylor to go back to josh, taylor stays. she’s scared that she’s going to lose karlie, but she’s still going to stay, because she’s willing to “waste her time” (don’t blame me) waiting for karlie to choose her.

“i stay when it’s hard or it’s wrong or we’re making mistakes” – taylor is willing to stay through the mess of their imbalanced and un-reciprocal relationship even when that inevitably gets hard. their relationship is “wrong” because karlie is josh’s, and maybe kaylor was a mistake because of joshlie, but taylor doesn’t care – she loves karlie too much, so she’s going to stay and wait for karlie to choose her.

“i WANT your midnights” – implying that taylor does not currently have them, because karlie is not reciprocating the level of love taylor is giving and wants in return.

“hold on to the memories” implies that this relationship will be ending soon (because it is doomed), leaving karlie only memories to hold onto.

“i will hold onto you” – this goes back to the theme of taylor’s obsession. karlie is her drug – she’s addicted to her, and she will “waste her time” eternally waiting for karlie to choose her because she’s that obsessed with her.

“please don’t ever become a stranger” – why is taylor worrying about this? because the relationship is doomed, and becoming strangers feels like this horrible yet inevitable ending that will be a part of “the last page”

thanks for reading, and sorry about any typos!

⬆️⬆️⬆️⬆️⬆️⬆️⬆️⬆️⬆️⬆️

SUBMISSION

I found this as part of my Insta ask era but let’s look over this for thoughts. Haven’t read it yet but I know anon was stressed it got lost (it did because y’all talk too much but also don’t stop I love it).

#nat talks kaylor #submission

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thoughts-on-bangtan · 4 years ago

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What a coward ass account. I’ve asked about several questions but I bet you won’t answer it because apparently you ship a fake ship and have 0 backbone and you can’t argue with anyone because you’ve nothing to back up your fanservice ass ship. Namjin is merely a friendship and a professional one at that. Wake up. Jin is never intimate with Joon, never tells me he loves him, never goes out of his way to spoil him, never possesses over him. Never shows any sign of jealousy so how tf are y’all so fucking delulu and blind?

You know, normally I’d just delete something as rude as this but honestly you gave me a good laugh with it so I’ll take the bait. But FYI, while I planned on answering these questions sooner or later, because imagine this, some of us have jobs and things we need to take care of and thus sometimes just don’t have the time to write posts, especially when some of them take a lot of time and research, even more so when an average thematic post from me is somewhere between 2 and 5k words long. That takes a hot minute to write. Not that you’d care, but now I don’t think I’ll answer them because I truly don’t appreciate you coming into our asks and being this unnecessary level of rude. If you felt like I skipped your question or was taking an oddly long time to answer, it would’ve sufficed to send in a small question about it and you would’ve gotten a normal answer for it, but guess not.

There are several things I find extremely interesting and also hilarious about your ask, especially since they confirm basically every suspicion I have about shipping when it comes to Bangtan and mlm ships in general.

But I’d like to start with this first because it really made me pause there for a minute: “because you’ve nothing to back up your fanservice ass ship” Since your ask is about Namjin I will assume this part is as well, yes, and I really am struggling to see how they, of all ships, are a “fanservice” one considering both Namjoon and Seokjin aren’t really big on skinship and initiating hugs and touches. What, exactly, about them is fanservice? Even more so since you go on to say this: “Jin is never intimate with Joon, never tells me he loves him, never goes out of his way to spoil him, never possesses over him. Never shows any sign of jealousy” so if these are your definition of what constitutes a) fanservice and b) a relationship, yet you claim Namjin is just fanservice, how can that be if you say they never do any? This math doesn’t math, you know.

Before I get ahead of myself, let’s break this down point by point, shall we?

1. “Jin is never intimate with Joon” – Tell me, dear anon, how exactly do you know that? Are you their friend? A fly living on their wall and watching over them 24/7? And also, how, exactly, are we supposed to be shown that by them? Is Namjoon supposed to walk over to Seokjin and, I don’t know, make out with him while Bangtan B*mb Noona stands a meter away and films the whole thing? What even does intimate mean in your definition? I have a sneaking suspicion of what you’re asking for but I will give you the benefit of the doubt.

Since I like language, let’s get into the literal definition of the word intimate, shall we, because you might be surprised to find it doesn’t just mean what you think it does. According to the Cambridge dictionary, intimate has several meanings, and what Namjoon and Seokjin show us and tell us that they have is actually several of them:

“Being a close, personal friend”, does that ring a bell? It does, doesn’t it? Namjoon and Seokjin have known each other for ten years almost, have spent a considerable amount of time together, have had dinner with each other’s families, Namjoon was at Seokjin’s brother’s wedding, and Namjoon is the person he turns to when it comes to his lyrics, always makes sure to thank Namjoon in his Thank You section in their albums, and supports him however he sees fit. Isn’t that intimate?

I know you mean the sexual kind of intimate, and truly that is something neither you nor I have any knowledge of and, surprise, it’s none of our business either. If I remember correctly, we’ve never brought up anything really sexual in any of our posts because I don’t believe in this whole “sexual tension” thing that toxic shippers go around preaching about. Even if it were there, that’s not for us to discuss because their sex life is none of our business.

Next.

2. “never tells me he loves him” – Never tells you he loves him? And why, pray tell, should he tell you, specifically? Yes, I’m being petty, so what. Love speaks many different languages, and saying the words “I love you” is just one of many, many different ways in which you can let someone know you love and cherish them, romantically and platonically. Years ago when Seokjin posted a cover on SoundCloud he said in the accompanying post that he prefers saying I like you over I love you, so I guess that means he just doesn’t love anyone, yes? Besides, is he obliged to stand in front of the camera and profess his undying love to Namjoon for you to believe he loves our dearest leader?

Isn’t it enough that he shows his love and respect for Namjoon in other ways, like praising him when Namjoon was being hard on himself so Seokjin told him he did well and that he always does well even in tricky situations, or being by his side during red carpets and other such things because Namjoon once asked him to do so because he feels calmer when Seokjin is by his side? Isn’t that a beautiful way of showing someone you love them, regardless if it’s romantic or platonic love?

Next.

3. “never goes out of his way to spoil him” – Is Seokjin Namjoon’s sugar daddy? Did I miss something?

Next.

4. “never possesses over him. Never shows any sign of jealousy” – now this point I have the biggest rage at because neither of these things��possessiveness and jealousy—are good things, especially not in a romantic relationship, but really, they aren’t a good thing in any kind of relationship. Possessiveness is a slippers slope, as is jealousy, the former being a great gateway toward an abusive relationship and while that might be “”””cute”””” in raunchy romance novels and movies, it isn’t in real life. And neither is jealousy. The only thing jealousy really tells and shows you, in the context you are going for, is insecurity and a lack of faith in your relationship and especially your partner. And that, again, isn’t a good or healthy thing for a relationship, especially not a romantic one. I know toxic shippers eat up this whole jealousy bs, YouTube is full of it after all and brings in hundreds of thousands of views (and dollars), but that has nothing to do with real life. So, the fact that we never see Seokjin, or Namjoon, jealous or possessive over the other? That is a good thing. Besides, enlighten me, how is this jealousy supposed to look like because true jealousy doesn’t appear written across your face in neon letters. I’m curious.

Next.

5. “Namjin is merely a friendship and a professional one at that.” – if that is your opinion, I’m happy for you. I won’t go out of my way to prove to you why I think differently or why you should because that’s not what I’m here for. Yes, I have a certain opinion on Namjin, that’s true, but I’m not a toxic shipper who will fights someone tooth and nail over it because that’s stupid. And won’t change anything anyway. Besides, my opinion doesn’t in any shape or form negate that they are friends. Every good relationship should have friendship as basis, and I very much believe that they are very close friends, while your phrasing makes it seem like you think they are only work friends, as in people who are friends during working hours but stop once they clock out of work, just saying.

The purpose of this blog isn’t to somehow convert people into shippers or convince them of something, instead it’s simply supposed to be a happy space where we share our opinions, have fun with Bangtan, their music and everything else, and can have civil conversations without calling anyone out or calling each other names. It’s literally in our blog description “Sharing thoughts on everything Bangtan, as well as vmin and namjin”, meaning it is a blog “designed” for both OT7s as well as people who already are vminnies or namjinists, or both, and yet if someone happens to start liking one of these two pairings because of our posts, like I’ve seen happen with some readers and namjin, that’s great, but that’s not our primary goal in any kind of way.

This is our blog which also means we have the freedom to answer whichever asks we want to and however quickly we want or can. Chances are, perhaps, the way you phrased your ask simply didn’t sit well with us and thus we decided against answering it at the time. Just some food for thought.

Lastly, there are a lot of blogs that surely represent your opinions and agree with you, so what, exactly, are you looking for on our blog? Do you think by sending an ask like this, or questioning my opinions in such a manner, you’ll be able to convert us away from our opinions? Neither of us forces anyone to agree with everything we say, so you don’t have to either, and we also don’t force anyone to read our posts. If you don’t like what we post, you are free to look for a different blog with which you’ll be able to agree and find your opinion represented, I won’t stop you. Enjoy.

#answered ask

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alastanor · 4 years ago

Text

So maybe this is just wishful thinking on my part...

But when you see how this boy smiles, how huge that smile is.

ALL. THE. TIME.

It is kind of weird to see his smile change for a little bit when we get to this scene.

He is asking Charlie what she thinks, and she is genuinely overjoyed by everything he has done to make her hotel more welcoming and warm for demons interested in staying.

Her joy and happiness are so apparent, she approaches him with a huge smile of her own. And for a split second, that huge smile of his seems to soften. Just slightly, but if you pause it's there. Maybe this is just coincidence, but unlike some of the weird ass animation frames we get when we pause at awkward moments, his softened smile is longer than just a single frame.

Which leads me to think maybe, just MAYBE this is a quick break in the mask Alastor puts up. Because perhaps he is genuinely touched by how happy and appreciative Charlie is for his hard work. Which, if my theory on Alastor is correct, such appreciation is something he never received in hell for all he had done over the past century or so.

I'm not saying this because I ship Charlastor, either. I thought these two would do really well together even just platonically long before I jumped on the Charlastor ship.

The reason why is this:

Charlie and Vaggie are in a relationship, according to sources which include Vivzie herself.

However, without actually finding out through outside channels, I would have just figured the two to be rather close friends. There isn't anything that could really be considered romantic interaction between the two at any point in the pilot.

There are factors that could be involved as to why this may be, but it just seemed odd not to establish their relationship as more romantic in the pilot if they are romantically involved. Especially when the pilot is meant to establish these sorts of things prior to the actual show.

At multiple points in the pilot, their relationship seems to be somewhat off-balance. Charlie seems to rely on Vaggie more than what could be considered normal. Not to say depending on others is wrong, but the give and take between these two in those regards isn't normal for a balanced and healthy romantic relationship.

Vaggie is loving and supportive when we first meet her, but she also indulges Charlie in her dependency to her. Again, this isn't to say that depending on the ones you care about is wrong, but you also need a sense of independence and self-identity. These are two things Charlie seems to struggle with in the pilot.

Vaggie, like anyone who cares about someone else, wants to protect Charlie and see her succeed. We see several instances of her doing as such.

She even goes so far as to pull a spear on Alastor, who she knows is far more powerful than she is but does so because she wants to protect Charlie and the hotel. This is admirable, but the biggest issue with Vaggie's desire to protect Charlie is it keeps her sheltered.

She also endorses Charlie's cold turkey method of "discouraging sin" which we know would not work.

Charlie demonstrates some naivety in the pilot on how Hell (and by extension, the world) works, something that Vaggie does point out briefly but never fully drives home. Charlie feels the need to sing about her goals and dreams "because that is how she best expresses herself," even though life is not a musical. In her song, though Charlie's goals are noble, her ideas on how to reach them are short sighted and inconsiderate. More self-serving to her personal goal than to actually achieving lasting change within a sinner.

We see her throwing away vices each sinner possesses, seeking quick solutions to problems that cannot be solved with them.

This, of course, earns her no favors with her audience for which she is trying to sell her idea. So naturally they laugh and scorn her.

As princess of hell, it would not surprise me if she was sheltered by Lillith and Lucifer. Given her personality upon meeting her, that seems rather likely.

Charlie cannot learn any other way or experience the world as she should in order to grow as a person and into the princess Hell needs if she is constantly protected and sheltered by those who care about her most. Leaving the nest to pursue her goals was a good first step, but unless she can get out and experience the world instead of being sheltered from it, she won't be able to learn or grow.

This is where Alastor comes into play.

Alastor, from the beginning, has kept Charlie and Vaggie separated. Or at least not together for any extended period of time.

After all, Alastor can get away with more when someone is wearing Rose-Colored Glasses than when someone is constantly shooting glares his way.

This is something that both works for and against Charlie. For her in the sense that spending time away from Vaggie and around Alastor would allow her to experience Hell in a more direct way. In the way that Alastor sees it, which would allow for a big paradigm shift and for character growth from Charlie.

But against her in the sense that it leaves Charlie vulnerable to getting hurt. Granted, when you get hurt that is an experience you also learn from. But how Charlie would get hurt is something else entirely.

On the opposite end of the spectrum, Alastor spending more time with Charlie who looks for the good in everything around her, would likely also inspire a change in him and his world view. Even if miniscule.

In this sense, the two are good for one another. They would learn and grow from each other. Which is the goal in fictional stories like this.

This isn't to say Vaggie is a problem character, or that she is wrong to want to protect Charlie. On the contrary, I personally find Vaggie to be a very relatable character. But she, like every member of the Hazbin cast(and every denizen of hell, let's be honest), has some growing to do. And she can't really do that herself if she is focusing all of her energy and attention on protecting Charlie from anyone and everyone she considers a problem or a threat.

But regardless where the shipping chips fall, it will be interesting to see how all the relationships grow and change as the characters themselves do so.

Thanks for coming to my Ted Talk.

#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel alastor #hazbin alastor #hazbin hotel charlie #hazbin hotel fandom #hazbin hotel vaggie #hazbin hotel theory #have been thinking about this one for a while

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curious-menace · 4 years ago

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Arkham!Riddler SFW Alphabet

When I started this one I figured it would be easier since I can riddle as bi and ace and this is all non-sexual but my god was it difficult. It's hard to separate what i'd like from a partner like riddler from what this version of riddler would actually be like. I've done my best but if you have anything you'd like to add, feel free to hmu!

LONG POST UNDER THE CUT

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

Edward can be affectionate in quite a superficial way. He’s not above using someone's affections for him to get what he wants out of them and he certainly isn't above feigning affection for the same reason. Although unless you were head over heels for him, his faux sincerity would be pretty obvious.

However with a partner he actually likes i can imagine he’d be very affectionate with his actions more than his words. Riddler loves to talk but expressing actual love can be difficult for him, whether it’s romantic or platonic, saying how he feels about you is one of the few things that doesn't come easy. I can see him spending a lot of money on you as a gesture of affection; fancy food , clothes, first editions of your favorite books or vintage versions of whatever you collect. He’d quite happily pay for your education/college and any and all books you might want.

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

Being a “best friend” would probably be at your insistence and not his. He’s likely left any childhood friends behind (assuming he had any to begin with) and I think as an adult, Edward would have trouble making friends. Like most things, Edward treats friendship as just another tool in the bag, he can count the people he actually gives a shit about on 1 hand.

If you were lucky (or unlucky depending on your view) to be considered one of those friends, expect lots of phone calls about bailing him out, riddles turning up in weird places ( like in the pocket of a coat you haven't worn in a while) and him helping you out with your cerebral challenges( like your quarterly tax return, no eddie i can't just NOT do it will you put down the rubix cube and help me)

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

He’ll never admit it, not even under pain of death, but Edward likes to be held. Now there's a few caveats to this; his rules and on his terms etc. He likes to lie between your legs with his head on your chest, either facing you for a hug while he naps or away from you, using you like a pillow while he reads or tinkers with something. He likes having his hair played with and his back gently stroked until he falls asleep.

He keeps up the facade of being totally touch adversed for good reason, the other rouges just do not respect personal space, even ones like killer croc and clayface. For the sake of his suits, he keeps this up even in private. But if you were someone special to him, you might convince him to toss his arm around your shoulder or waist.

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

When he’s doing well mentally, he’s pretty good at taking care of himself. Or at least, looking like he takes good care of himself. He can cook and clean a little but he has the cash to pay other people to do the more menial or time consuming stuff for him. Not that he’s above it, he just prefers to spend his time on other things and is happy to compensate people to save him from doing it. These days he's more focused on other things to be bothered with domestic chores, his place is very messy.

Settling down is an alien concept to him, not one he’s eager to explore. Expect him to turn his nose up at the prospect of marriage but a platonic long term partner, someone for company, someone to act as a sounding board for ideas or even just someone to (gently but firmly) kick his ass into looking after himself would be pretty ideal.

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

He’d probably be thinking long and hard about it beforehand. Like weeks if not months in advance. He’d want to give you the perfect breakup and, depending on what happened, try his best to part as friends. He doesn't deal well with sudden changes to his routine, particularly with no plans ahead. On the other hand he might just pussy out and ghost you. He’s fickle like that.

If it was your doing, well. Edward takes these sorts of things as a challenge. He might even assume you were joking the first time around. After he got the message, I sense he’d probably be quite clingy and upset. It’s taken a lot for him to get so far with you and he wouldn't let it go without a fight. He might try to change or at the very least , be better at hiding whatever it was that you want to break it off.

Failing that expect a lot of texts from blocked numbers almost but not quite begging or apologizing and asking for more chances.

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

Like I said above, marriage isn't for him. I doubt he'd be compatible with a religious person given his childhood and outspoken atheism. He MIGHT if pressed, give you a question mark themed ring or token as a reminder that you were his. No papers, no ceremony, just something small. If you proposed expect him to be flustered and , if you can believe it, at a loss for words. He might go radio silent on you for a few days before giving you an answer but i honestly couldn't tell you what it might be. He does enjoy the thought of someone referring to him as “my husband” thought, so maybe persistent begging i'll get you somewhere.

Some sort of Commitment appeals to him from a practical point; having someone to rely on, to fall back on and to care and be cared for by. It's not a normal relationship by any stretch of the imagination but it’ll be special all the same.

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

Edward isn't an imposing man. He might be tall but he’s all sinus and no mass. He has gentle hands but can be careless when he’s in a mood ( with objects, never with you). He's broken a lot of plates, computer monitors and mechanical pencils over the years. He lacks a lot of social grace to treat things with the necessary amount of sensitivity sometimes, but he has the sense to at least TRY and be emotionally gentle. Situations of abuse or self worth issues, things he has personal experience dealing with are things he can easily empathise with .

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

Short story, yes but only coming from a trusted partner. Long story is that he has a hard time not flinching when someone hugs him by surprise. You should ask before you do it.

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

Edward is the kind of person to fall head over heels very quickly. He might say I love you before it's socially appropriate, it honestly might make you a little uncomfortable. But once that initial infatuation dies he's a lot more guarded with his feelings. He’d say i love you in a superficial way quickly but a genuine i love you with real emotion would take a lot of time and thought from him before he actually committed to it.

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

If you look up jealousy in the dictionary, you'd see Edward's picture. Obviously he is a deeply insecure man, he’s terrified you’ll start to think of him the way he thinks of himself and seek out someone better. You need to nip any signs of jealousy in your relationship in the bud early on. Otherwise Edward will become controlling, manipulative and possessive to the point of alienating you from other people, simply for the sake of having you to himself. You need to set healthy boundaries while also doing your best to accommodate his need to be validated and his need for reassurance that you do in fact want to be with him. He gets snappy when he’s jealous, with you and other people. He has temper tantrums like a child if you don't agree with him. Like for example if he thinks someone was flirting with you and you tell him they were just being friendly.

All that said, I genuinely don't think he does it for the sake of being a controlling partner. He is just so very afraid that someone he actually gives a shit about will leave him like everyone else in his life.

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

I should point out that he doesn't kiss often. But when he does,He’s all over the damn place. What he lacks in experience he makes up for in enthusiasm. He is a very sloppy kisser when he gets into it but generally his kisses are very short and chaste. Like i said, he doesn't really know what he's doing so he's all over the place in terms of location. I think smooches on the cheek because it's easy access, for him and you. He likes body worship, so if you're kissing him, anywhere will do as long as you're praising that part while you do it.

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

Edward does not like children but he’s good pretending for the sake of his image. Childrens naturally inquisitive nature coupled with his bright and colourful appearance makes for some entertaining moments but in the long run I can see him worrying too much: about screwing the kid up, about being perceived like his father, about the child not meeting his expectations etc.

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

He's more of a night owl tbh. If you're living with him he might wander into the kitchen while you're getting breakfast , wondering why you're up so late. You'd have to tell him he’s accidentally pulled another all nighter. He might have coffee with you and talk about what he was working on, maybe ask if he could have some breakfast with you. But by the time it's cooked he’ll have passed out on the sofa.

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

Edward prefers to work and operate at night so expect him to be in a flurry of activity, building things, calling people and working at his computer. He likes to have company, even if you aren't doing much talking. It would be nice for him to just spend time with you while you both work on your respective projects. Sometimes he gets his shit together and lives during the day like most people ( read as, when he’s just been to prison and has an actual schedule for once) he would like to unwind with you by watching game shows or playing video games.

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

Edward has a bad habit of gloating about his accomplishments but in a way that is so obviously false it unintentionally tells more about him than he really wanted to. Like in Arkham knight, he gloats about “not having any friends at all” in reference to his riddler bots when Catwoman teases him. He meant that as a snipe at catwoman but the fact he’s so open about his lack of friends, to most people anway, is incredibly sad.

He’s a well known villain, if you didn't know most of his backstory before dating him it would be hard to miss once you were together. He’s unlikely to tell you it himself, having to repeat it time and time again in therapy has him perpetually bored of the subject .

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

He gets upset quite easily, he has very limited patience . He’s used to other people's cuts and jibes so he mostly lets that roll off his back with only a little annoyance. But for stupid people, and people outright insulting him, dismissing him or for acting like batman he is liable to start seeing red very quickly . In your relationship I would say he is easily irritated by a lot of things, generally a bit grumpy if things don't go his way but rarely as angry as we see him in the climax of Arkham knight. He doesn't yell or shout at you but he will seethe and let his anger fester for days at a time. He can be very mean when he’s angry.

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

You would think for someone with a photographic memory, he would be better at remembering things about you. It's not to say he DOESN'T remember, only that he requires prompting to do so. Yes, he will remember everything about you but he puts it in the back of his head so he can focus on other things. Don't be surprised if he lets important dates slip by or does things at the last minute because something reminded him of it.

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

It's probably something innocuous that you wouldn't think of, or even realise he was there for. Maybe he remembers meeting you in a coffee shop months or years before you met and started dating. He remembers because you held the door for him or gave him a genuine smile. You were something colourful in his gray day, something hard to forget. I doubt he tried to build a relationship out of that one moment but when he met you again he would remember that and decide that it was fate or something.

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

Edward is protective in a strange way. He’s most powerful in situations where he controls everything , which isn't usually possible in real life as he's not a particularly strong man. He has more power in the digital world so that's where he feels most comfortable looking out for you. He might watch you on security cameras to make sure you get home safe, send you texts to check in or hide your profile from the police. You can be online together and in the public eye ( for him to brag about you to his online followers of course). To tie back in with his jealousy, he would be pretty protective initially but if you told him to back off, he’d be careful to do it more secretly.

Edward needs to be protected in a lot of ways, mostly from himself. He’s not good at looking after himself, either physically, mentally or socially. His big mouth gets him into a lot of bother so he might need you to act as a social filter. He’s had several large breakdowns in the last few years and with arkham closed for good, he has no support besides you. He needs to be grounded and kept in the present lest he get wrapped up in his thoughts.

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

Honestly? He doesn't really try. He's very lucky in that he can pull something out of his ass last minute and it would still have a similar effect to if he’d spent the whole month planning. Someday it's going to blow up in his face big time but he doesn't seem to care.

Same goes for everyday tasks. He's usually so focused on his own stuff that he doesn't realise other things need done. He's a master of doing things at the last second and still making it look like he put in effort.

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

He has a bad habit of underestimating people, even you. He might be inclined to patronise you when you try to do things for him but just showing him that you are a capable human being is usually enough to shut him up. He's very egocentric, narcissistic and conceited, but given everything he's been through, it's not really his fault he's like this. What is his doing is his refusal to work on his faults or try to grow as a person. Perhaps with the right encouragement you could help him but don't hold your breath.

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

Normally yes, Edward is narcissistic and very concerned with his looks but recently, with his mental health declining, he's forgotten to take care of himself. I imagine when/if he snaps out of this funk he’ll be mortified by how he’s let himself go. He’s more concerned with how he looks socially, how he might be perceived and his reputation than what he physically looks like.

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

Edward is and always has been convinced he was meant to be alone. He’s somewhat made his peace with that . there would always be a hole in his heart that he really thought nothing could ever fill. But meeting you? Well that changes things. Edward will never be a complete, well rounded person but having someone to kiss his wounds and pour their love into the cracks in his being is infinitely better than being alone.

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

I mentioned in some of my mini headcanons for him that he used to do gymnastics as a kid. It wasn't so much that he wanted to or even enjoyed it all that much, in his highschool you just had to pick a sport and it was one of the only things that wasnt team related and had the lowest chance of being hit in the head with a ball, bat or racket. He was pretty good at it, even if he didnt like it that much , and probably could have taken home some bronze or silver awards in his state if his parents had encouraged him. Nowadays he can barely do a pullup but he's still got most of the flexibility, even if repeated breaks at the hands of batman have left him a little sore while he does it.

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

Edward doesn't like people appearing to be smarter than him. but his ego usually protects him from acknowledging that fact. he doesn't like bullies, despite being one himself . but his most hated trait in people is alcohol use/ dependency. If he knew you were an alcoholic he likely never would have started dating you but even the odd drink will make him turn his nose up. of course, hes a hypocrite , when hes feeling really sorry for himself he will definitely drink his sorrows away in whatever hole in the ground gotham rogues frequent. the self loathing is as strong as his hangover the next morning. he knows hes like his father, in more ways than one and it makes him sick. any mention of alcohol is likely to bring up these feelings

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?)

Edward is a chronic insomniac but there is one thing that is guaranteed to send him right to the land of nod and that is having his hair played with and his back stroked. I don't know if it was one of the few kind touches he ever received as a child or if his parents did it when he was a baby but it's one of the few things that makes him feel truly safe and cared for. Riddler has spent the majority of his life alone, so finding a partner he trusts enough to allow them not only into his space but also his bed would be a difficult thing. If that's you, however, expect him to be badgering you every night to help him get to sleep.

that took a lot longer than i thought it would! arkham riddler is obviously my favorite so i was trying to write a lot for him but i hope i havent been rambling

if you want to talk more about any of the riddlers, hmu!

#riddler headcanons #The Riddler #Riddler #arkham riddler #sfw alphabet #edward nygma #edward nigma #batman arkham knight #arkham knight riddler #arkham knight #headcanons #my headcanons #my stuff #my art

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genuary-fic-event · 4 years ago

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Harry Potter & Naruto Gen Fics

Almost all of my stories are gen so I picked out a few of my favourites to share! All stories are by FiresFromOurHearts (i.e. me).

Harry Potter

Graduation - Oliver Wood, Percy Weasley, and Penelope Clearwater have made it to graduation, somehow, against the odds. This is their last time at Hogwarts as students; this is the boat trip you leave on.

Tags: graduation, final year, last day, memories, Ravenclaw Gryffindor friendship, changes, change, growing up, final memory of Hogwarts, graduating.

the broken bones of our childhood - blaise thinks about love. about love being shovde down his throat, about a society that makes him think he wants that love, wants to grab it from the stars and let it huddle in his cupped hands. he’s young, fourteen maybe, when he reads aromantic for the first time. reads aromantic, reads asexual, reads queerplatonic relationships. and he thinks, oh, maybe this is it. maybe this is me. he thinks about society’s romance and thinks about friendship, thinks about platonic love, and thinks maybe this is right.

Tags: this could be angst but I don’t think so?, someone let me know about that please, Aromantic, Asexual Character, Asexuality, Aromantic Asexual character, growing up, sexuality crisis, kind of, more like discovery?, sexuality, love, friendship, Slytherin, Sexual Confusion, I don’t know what else to tag, society’s views of love, marriage, but a negative view of marriage, aromantic asexual Blaise Zabini, queerplatonic relationships, character study, I’m so so proud of this work so please give it a try, not really part of the series so can be read alone, don’t copy to another site

she unleashes the magic in her veins - Narcissa has sat alone in Malfoy Manor while her husband is in prison and her son is off on a suicide mission. She sits and she waits and she dares her hands not to shake. Soon, she grows sick of waiting. Narcissa had been a Black once and she still is; her marriage did not take that from her. Perhaps it is time that someone of the Black family shakes the foundations of the world once again.

Tags: BAMF women, BAMF Narcissa Black Malfoy, Slytherins being Slytherins, Mother-son relationship, mother’s love, love, Malfoy Manor, house elves, Number 12 Grimmauld Place, horcruxes

Never Been A Love Story (Quite Like This) - Charlie Weasley’s soulmates with Draco Malfoy. Over the years, things manage to work themselves out and they end up as friends. The real problem stems from the world around them saying they must be in love with one another since they’re soulmates. Charlie struggles with this. Luckily, Draco’s there to help out.

Tags: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, platonic soulmates, platonic male/male relationships, family, grief/mourning, comfort, second war with Voldemort, post-second war with Voldemort, smuggling, a few crimes, friendship, enemies to friends, to even better friends, romantic soulmates, kinda, dragons, I mean it is Charlie Weasley, asexual Charlie Weasley, Aromantic Charlie Weasley, Aromantic Asexual Charlie Weasley, POV Charlie Weasley, I guess, Charlie Weasley-centric, do not post to another site

Steady Feet (I’ve Stopped Running) - Or that story where Charlie Weasley tells his family he’s aromantic and asexual and nothing bad happens.

Tags: Aromantic Charlie Weasley, Asexual Charlie Weasley, aromantic asexual Charlie Weasley, Charlie Weasley-centric, dragons, of course, family, comfort, family feels, bisexual Bill Weasley, Pansexual Ginny Weasley, friendship, it’s in the background, familial love, coming out, self-love

United Within These Walls - Blaise Zabini might be a Slytherin. But he’d been a Hogwarts student first. They all had been. It’s time for houses to matter less and the one thing that brings them together - Hogwarts - to matter more.

Tags: Hogwarts seventh year, warnings for the Carrows, interrogation, torture, (kind of), resistance, students, Dumbledore’s Army, these tags sound bad, but it’s not too dark, Hogwarts inter-house unity

Warning: Warnings for the Carrows and the use of the crucio.

Naruto

Everybody Knows (the deal is rotten) - A story inspired by Orpheus and Eurydice, except there’s no romance and no real gods, except there are brothers and death and the Sharingan.

Tags (a number of tags in this one so just doing the main ones): Alternate Universe - canon divergence, inspired by Orpheus and Eurydice, eye-trauma, Uchiha Madara-centric, canonical character death, canon does not follow from that death though, questionable sanity, ghosts, potential mindfuck

Warning: Izuna’s technically dead? Or he dies and then comes back. Warning for eye trauma. Initial note mentions this in more detail.

follow your heart (it leads you home) - After a twelve-hour shift at the hospital, there are few things Rin wants to do. She will, however, listen to rumours from Obito, eat dinner, and then fall asleep as they both wait to see Kakashi. And Kakashi loves to see his partners when he comes home, especially when he’s been missing them. Meanwhile, Obito conspires so that everyone gets to be happy - himself included.

Tags: Alternate Universe - everybody lives/nobody dies, queerplatonic relationships, Nohara Rin lives, medic Nohara Rin, soft, comfort, no hurt, healthy relationships, these kids are so sweet and soft with each other and I love them, Rin & Obito & Kakashi QPR, Uchiha Obito lives, Good Uchiha Obito, feel-good, love, friendship/love, mistaken for dating, rumours, laughing at rumours

stay with me tonight (there’s so much wrong going on outside) - Sometimes you’re stressed and exhausted and burnt out. But you know what? Sasuke isn’t alone. He can relax and rely on Sakura and Naruto. Just take a break and breathe.

Tags: Queerplatonic relationships, alternate universe - Modern setting, roommates, movie night, softness, bad days, burnout, students, casual intimacy, love, friendship/love, hurt/comfort, more comfort than hurt, fluff, domestic fluff

Here’s To Us (Here’s To Love) - Team 7 is a little bit more lonely, their lives a little less harsh, and they are a team. They will remain a team, no matter what comes. (A short fic on Team 7’s friendship and love as it could’ve been. How their family began and how it continues on after everything.)

Tags: Team as family, Team 7 as family, team 7-centric, team 7 feels, found family, friendship/love, loneliness, comfort, hope, alternate universe - canon divergence, lonely team 7, love, friendship, I cannot tell you how much team 7 love each other, so so much love, gentle, soft, the interent quiet of the darkness at night

Naruto Series

The Overworked Hikaku Chronicles - The Overworked Hikaku Chronicles covers how Uchiha Hikaku accidentally saves the world, creates peace amongst the Uchiha and Senju Clans, deals with Konoha being founded like the normal person he is, and also stops being so overworked and tired with a (slightly forced) nap. It starts with crack and humour, grows to speak of self-care and ends gently and with love.

Notes: Since this isn’t a single work, there’s a number of tags. In total, there are ten works with a total of around 31k. There’s one work with a warning for near-death experience, and a number of the fics deal with burnout and stress, but also focussing on moving past that too. Tags commonly featured include: crack, crack treated seriously, fluff and humour, Uchiha Izuna lives, Warring States Period (Naruto), family, family feels, familial love.

The Sea Never Dies

Uzushiogakure is more than a ruin. Her people wander and they hide themselves away, refusing to be who they once were. Uzushio sees this and she refuses to let the world stay that way. Uzushiogakure may have fallen, but Uzushio is far from dead.

Meanwhile, Konoha kills off almost all of the Uchiha Clan, leaving two - Sasuke Uchiha and Toru Uchiha. Sasuke’s survival was meant to happen. Toru’s survival was due to luck, (and something more, something much, much bigger than luck).

The world is not safe or nice or good. It hasn’t been such for a while. That’s alright though. Toru can make things happen with his own two hands and his words. He can change his world, even if it isn’t the entire world. Toru doesn’t like the whole world that much anyway.

Notes: Like the previous series, this one has too many tags to tag individually. This series is still ongoing and is near the end, though, updating frequently. In total, there’s about 600k words at the moment (and an extra 70k of extra AUs and whatnot) so it is massive. I would argue it’s all about found family, love, hope, building a life out of the ashes, and learning to live for yourself/living on when nothing is left.

Common tags: Uzushiogakure, LGBTQ character, Alternate universe - canon divergence, friendship, queerplatonic relationship, found family, team as family, reincarnation, ANBU, world building, team building, BAMF women, women being awesome, BAMF team 7, friendship.

Warnings: This series lightly touches on PTSD (but still touches on it) and there are depications of the main characters near-death and actual death too, though these can be skipped. There are scenes of torture too, which aren’t explict but are warned about too. Further questions can be asked and I’ll be willing to answer. Overall, this series definitely isn’t dark however. (Oh, and some bad guys die, so character death too, I guess?)

Additional Notes: It’s a lot of words so I can totally understand not wanting to read it. So there are a few AUs that can be read without reading the main series. One is see hope rise with the tide and the other is Desert Oasis.

#fanfic #genuary #genuary 2021 #naruto #harry potter #submission

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ship-trek · 4 years ago

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I would like to know everything about your ships with Spock, Uhura and Bones please!!! KJFEWHKJFW if there's lore or fic I wanna read it and if there's art I wanna see it those three are VERY GOOD (I have a lot of love for TOS) @goldenworldsabound

@goldenworldsabound

!!!! I! Thank you for this lovely ask!! I also have a lot of love for TOS, it was the first Trek I watched and it's always going to have a special place in my heart!!

If you really want to know everything, we're going to be here for a while, so this is going under a cut for length. I should never have been enabled like this. None of them have any fics yet and I can't really draw all that well, so there's no art either, but I'm always happy to ramble about them and call it lore, so here we go!

Ok, as I'm writing down the lore for my ship with Spock, it's becoming a lot longer than I thought it would be - as in it's over 1000 words and we *just* got to Starfleet Academy. I'm going to trim it down a bit to try and get a shorter version and I'll probably turn the rest into a fic. Even with the cuts, though, this is really long. You've been warned.

Once I finish my WIPs with Nerys, I have some plans for some TOS fics, so hopefully my lovely friends will get their fair share of fics soon! I can tag you in any TOS fics I write if you'd like, but of course there's no pressure!

Bones:

I selfship with Bones in the way I do to cope with some specific issues, so lore-wise it's a bit different than my other ships. I don't really have an s/i, it's just me here in our world. He's off on the Enterprise doing all those fun space things, but I can call him whenever I like and he always tries to get back to me as soon as possible if he misses the call at the time. He doesn't miss them often, though - he and I set up a system so I can mark calls as high, mid, or low priority and he'll interrupt almost anything to take a high priority call. I hardly ever use it, but it's nice to know I can reach him if I really need to. And he's amazing to talk to! He's really supportive and always willing to listen to me, and he gives the best hugs :)

I'm actually really excited because he's due back on Earth soon, and he promised to come visit! He can't visit often so every time he does he goes out of his way to make our time together special. It's one of the little ways he shows he really cares about me.

This is a fairly new ship for me, so I still haven't figured out what I'm going to do about Joanna. I'm unlikely to add her as a familial f/o, but we might end up as friends or I might just ignore her entirely. It's my canon now :)

Uhura:

So! I am a massive language nerd. I've been teaching myself both Vulcan and Klingon in addition to studying Latin, Japanese, and Spanish in school at various points. (Yes, Swahili is next on my list. Yes, this is because of Uhura.)

Nyota and I met at Starfleet Academy (more details on how I got there in Spock's lore as both ships use the same s/i) during one of our xenolingustics classes. She seemed super cool, but she had a friend group already, so I ended up being too scared to approach her. I haven't always been the best student, so I got into the habit of taking any extra credit opportunities that came my way. Our xenolinguistics teacher offered extra credit if we went to a presentation being hosted by the xenolingustics club, and I figured I had nothing to lose, so I showed up. Nyota saw me there, recognized me from class, and encouraged me to join the club. She seemed nice and I was free, so I said I'd try it out. I came to a few meetings and we ended up becoming friends!

I was never close with her friend group (we didn't have a lot in common and i just didn't fit their vibe) but she worked hard to make sure we still had time to hang out, and I never felt like she liked me any more or any less than the rest of her friends. How she balanced it all, I don't know. I still think she might be superhuman.

She was a year ahead of me and we ended up falling out of contact a little bit when she graduated. Between her (and later my) assignments, there was just never enough time, and as some of you may know (Sorry!!) my ability to stay in touch with people online is atrocious. We didn't stop talking entirely or stop being friends, but it wasn't until we were both assigned to the Enterprise that we were able to reconnect, and we're even better friends now than we were back then. I didn't exactly figure out who I was, but I grew more comfortable with the process of growing as a person and not having all the answers, and as a result I ended up way more confident in myself and with a lot less self loathing. Turns out, that makes you a lot more fun to be around! I still have a lot of work to do in that area, but I'm a lot better than I was back at the academy.

She and I hang out a lot on the Enterprise, sometimes with Spock or Nurse Chapel and sometimes just the two of us. We sing together, play games, talk in half a dozen languages (just because I don't know them yet doesn't mean my s/i can't!) and just do all those normal fun friend things. Sometimes we even teach or help each other learn new languages (I'm learning a new dialect of Klingon and she's learning Latin). One thing I've always really appreciated about her is the way she handles spontaneity with me - when she wants to hang out or change plans on short notice, she always gives me a really good sense of what she's suggesting we do and gives me the chance to raise any concerns or questions about it before we have to make a decision.

Interesting quirk of our friendship: I can usually be flexible about what we do but really need to know in advance who is going to be there, and she can usually be flexible about who's going to be there as long as she has a good sense of what we're going to do. It took us a little while to figure that out and start warning each other appropriately, but once we did things got a lot better!

It's really a crime that the writers didn't give us more Uhura-centric episodes because there are just so many things I want to know about her! This is also a new-ish ship for me, so the lore isn't quite as finalized as I'd like. If you see me changing things about our ship later, that's why!

Spock:

Ok, important warnings time. My selfship with Spock fills a very particular emotional role for me that causes me to be unusually protective of him and our relationship. I'm aware that this isn't exactly emotionally healthy, and that's something I'm actively working on. Part of the benefit of my ship with him is that he can fill this role rather than me putting it on a real person, which, yeah, wouldn't be great. A lot of this has to do with him putting me first.

To be clear, I view my ship with him as happening in one of many similar but distinct universes (there's a TNG ep I'm thinking of here) that's separate from both canon and other people's ships with him. That's why I say that our s/is probably can't be friends (unless we have some universe crossover stuff going on). I would never want to get in the way of another person's ship with him! And this is the division of things that makes it easiest for me to wholeheartedly support others' ships with him, which is something I very much want to be able to do. (What I'm trying to communicate, badly, is that I want to be clear that I don't view the way he thinks about me as being true anywhere outside of my ship with him.)

I do refer to him as my best friend, the platonic other half of my soul, and other similarly intense terms, which he reciprocates. We also have a minor telepathic bond (I have Headcanons about Vulcan telepathy and no one can stop me from using them). Our relationship really is strictly platonic, but if that's going to make you uncomfortable, the time to stop reading is now! I'm also always happy to work out more detailed tags if needed.

Now! On to the actual ship stuff. I've changed around the lore a little bit recently to be a little truer to the way I've been shipping with him for the past 6-7 years, so hopefully this is the final(ish) lore. There are several moments where if canon says otherwise I simply do not see it. I am looking away. My canon now :)

It's late, later than I should have been out, but I'm too young to know better and too excited to care. My cousins are playing in the sand out ahead of me, but I've had enough of the noise and the people for right now, so I'm doing what I do best: wandering off when I shouldn't. The beach is busy but the nearby hills are quiet, so I start to climb. Even at that age, I hate sand, and the stone staircase is a welcome relief.

I was so focused on the climb to see him and by the time I reach the top, I'm too exhausted to do anything but flop on the ground. As soon as I do that my eyes turn skyward and then I'm too focused on the stars to do much of anything else. Even with the lights around, it's a dazzling display. Most call it science, but to my untrained eyes there's a much simpler word: magic.

Between the exhaustion and the stars, it takes me several minutes to realize I'm not alone. A Vulcan boy I don't recognize is sitting on a bench a few feet away from me, staring at something in his lap and staying very still. I watch him for a while and when he still hasn't moved, I walk closer. He twitches - clearly, he knows I'm here - but keeps his eyes fixed firmly on his PADD. If I were older, I would have gone down the hill and this would have been the end of it.

But I wasn't older. I was young, and dumb, and perhaps most dangerously of all, I was curious. I didn't go down the hill. Instead, I walked up, pulled myself up to sit on the far end of the bench, and asked the question that would end up shaping the rest of our lives:

"Have you ever looked up?"

And he did.

I rambled about the stars and asked about his logic homework, and he watched the stars and patiently answered my questions. By the time we parted ways, I was smiling with his contact information tucked safely into a pocket and he watched my go with the corners of his lips pulled up into that classic Vulcan not-quite-smile.

My mom recognized his name and description as the son of Amanda Grayson, a friend of a friend, and she let me use her PADD to keep in touch with Spock until I was old enough for my own. He turned out to be a few years older than me and a lot of fun to be around with a subtle sense of humor that never failed to make me laugh. We'd hang out in person whenever I went to Vulcan or he came to Earth and we talked almost every day online when we were apart. He was (and is) my best friend, and we saw each other through the highs and lows of growing up. Even when his bullies got really bad and when my school social life went down the drain, we always had each other, and somehow that was enough.

Because of something something Vulcan brain development, the eligible age to apply to Starfleet is 20 rather than 16. (ooc this is my headcanon and I need it for our backstory to work, so shh.) I was certain he would apply for Starfleet Academy the moment he was eligible, and I think his decision to wait for a year shocked everyone. I asked him about it, wondering if there was something wrong. We'd talked for ages about how much he wanted to escape Vulcan, so why wasn't he now that he finally had the chance?

His response? "Not all humans treat me as you do. The bullying is unlikely to change, only its source. If I am to be bullied no matter my path, I will choose the one in which we are together."

I have never felt more honored in my life.

We applied for Starfleet together the next year. His father was devastated displeased that he did not choose the Vulcan Science Academy, my parents were upset that I was moving out so young, and we rolled up to Starfleet Academy as the resident pair of family disappointments. Good times.

The academy was a blast, though. We got to see each other! In person! Every day! I was there to stand up to the people who teased him, he was there to encourage me to make good choices, and we both were there to remind each other that sleep is a necessary biological function not to be ignored. We were both studying science, but he focused on the astrophysics side and I focused more on the biology side, so we didn't share too many classes, but we'd hang out all the time in between classes and we tried to take the same electives when we could. Having similar interests helped a lot on that front.

I was a weird child that had by now grown into a weird teenager, so I didn't have a ton of friends at first. Even when it started directly affecting his social life, Spock was never embarrassed to be seen with me, and though he claims that he would be treated the same without me... I doubt it. Still, though, it helped a lot to have him there, and he's never held it against me.

I did convince him to do a show with me once. He tries to hold that one against me but he had fun and we both know it. Besides, it's my job to drag him into illogical things sometimes :)

We graduated together but like so many close friends are, we were posted to different ships. It was a weird time for us. I was doing great, honestly. I was medicated for my chronic illness (finally!), in therapy (finally!), and I loved my ship and fellow officers. My job was interesting and engaging and I was having a blast. Spock, on the other hand, started to struggle a little bit. Though he always treated me like an equal, I think there was a part of his mind that always thought he was a little bit better than me, and seeing me succeed seemingly effortlessly where he was struggling was hard for him. We got through it, though, and he got some better accommodations (and later a transfer to a ship that fit him better) which made everything a lot better. I even ended up taking some engineering classes and wound up getting a degree in engineering too, just for fun.

Before we knew it, he was the first and science officer of the Enterprise and I was a lieutenant commander working for him. (I say working for him, but really it's a lot more like working alongside him. Most people in the science department assume that if you tell something to one of us and don't specifically say not to tell the other, we will, so you can basically report things to either of us.) I do some work for Scotty too, and Kirk likes to joke that I'm an honorary member of the bridge crew at this point. It was a funny joke right up until I started getting invited to briefings, but hey, who am I to complain?

Serving together is a lot of fun. I'm one of the only people on board who doesn't constantly pressure him to show his emotions, with the result that he is a lot more emotional with me. He knows that I don't view his moments of emotion as a reflection of how Vulcan he is or isn't, so he has nothing to gain by hiding them. Mostly, I don't comment on them, which is his preference.

While we're both happy to offer each other emotional support when needed, most of the time we end up just sitting with each other and letting them process it on their own. Between my emotional regulation issues and his I Am A Vulcan mentality, it's been a great way for us to show each other the support we crave without worrying about finding the perfect words.

Speaking of words, I'm one of very few people on the ship who speaks Vulcan. I actually learned it years ago because of him so we've been speaking it to each other for a while, and we take the Vulcan tendency to drop words to a truly ridiculous extent. Uhura tends to joke that we created our own language somewhere along the line, but it's a fun way to annoy Bones when he really gets on our nerves. He can't even complain about it because as it turns out having the ability to converse in a way no one else understands is very, very useful when a mission goes south. You can't really complain about something that's saved your life, now can you?

The telepathic bond (again, very minor and strictly platonic) came about when he had to meld with me on one such mission gone wrong. It wasn't planned, though we'd talked about it in the past and neither of us was upset by it. Bones tried to joke that our minds were so compatible that we were probably going to start dating now and immediately found himself on the receiving end of two death glares. Credit to him, he never made that joke again. We view each other like family anyway, so yeah. No.

But I like the bond we have! It's nice to know when he's uncomfortable but not saying anything and it's easier for me to tell when he's protesting for effect and really does want to go along with my bizarre illogical scheme and when he'd rather not. As someone with no real sense of social cues or sarcasm, it's a lifesaver. Besides, he's been a lot more comfortable with causal touch between us since it formed, which is great for me.

We also play a lot of D&D together. It's something I got him into but which he took to like a fish to water, and the lengths we go to to avoid scheduling conflicts for our weekly game night are probably a bit excessive, shall we say, but it helps that all the friends we'd normally have conflicts with end up getting invited too. He very rarely DMs, but when he does, you better hope someone in your party has a decent intelligence stat because his puzzles are amazing. Seriously, I don't think you've really played a puzzle based game of D&D until you've played one of his. Works of art, I tell you.

I could go on about him for hours, but I'll wrap it up here for time and length's sake. If you have any more specific questions, I think I've already effectively demonstrated that I'm incapable of shutting up about him!

#thank you for the ask!#this was a lot of fun!#my grumpy space dad #thrah t'nash-veh eh thrah t'du #uhura tag tbd #seriously. I should not have been enabled like this #kestrel go to bed challenge

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skywalkerbc · 6 years ago

Text

Mads’ massive bellarke rec (pt.1)

So I’ve been asked a couple times to make a bellarke fanfiction rec list so here it is! (Okay so I realised that I had way too many bc our fandom is filled with so many talented authors so even though this is actually massive, there will be several parts)

(Also- I don’t know everyone’s tumblrs so if you know any of these author’s tumblr accounts, please lmk so I can link them properly!)

In no particular order, here are some of my all time fav blarke fics:

MODERN-VERSE AUS

I dreamed you a sin (and a lie) by monroeslittle

“If I do this,” Blake said, “how are you imagining it’s going to work? I can’t just knock on his door, and say I want in again. It’s been eleven years. And even before I left, I never cared about the business. Do you have a plan? You say you want me to open the door for an agent. How? What’s that mean?”

“You’re going to get in touch with your grandfather again at your wedding,” Clarke said.

He stared.

“I hope you don’t have a girlfriend, Mr. Blake.”

fake!married AU. Clarke's in the FBI, Bellamy's the grandson of a mobster, and they've got to work together.

Lines in the Sand by @fen-ha-fuck-you

“You looked like you were gonna hurl when you got up,” Raven said, pausing for a moment. “I’m not sure this is better.”

Clarke shook her head minutely, finally looking up at herself in the mirror. She quickly wiped away the tears that had fallen. She hadn’t even noticed. “I’m fine.”

“No,” Raven replied, her eyebrows scrunching together. “You’re not.”

“I just… had a little too much to drink. That’s all.”

“That why you’re strangling that poor sink?”

i’m not asking much of you by emmylou

When Clarke gets invited to her ex's wedding- her CHEATING ex's wedding- she knows she can't go alone. She's not dating anyone, so she has to find a boyfriend, real or fake, fast. Luckily, Octavia knows just the guy.

I’d Promise You Everything (But I’m Not Sure How Much Good There Is In That) by @talistheintrovert

Bellamy has never been a huge fan of Valentine's Day, but Clarke outright hates it. Her father died at the start of February when she was in high school, she found out her first boyfriend was cheating on her two weeks later, and then almost exactly a year after that, her girlfriend dumped her to travel around Asia.

But now they're in their 20s and Bellamy finally admitted that he loved her a few months ago. He knows this is the real thing and he absolutely knows that she feels the same way, but he also knows how miserable Clarke gets around Valentine's, and he's determined to cheer her up this time.

hold me in your beating heart by amberwoods

He’d got out of bed and walked to the nursery to console his youngest child. When he’d been shushing and cradling her for about twenty minutes, he noticed a silhouette hovering in the door opening. Clarke.

“I’ve got her,” he’d said softly, his voice rough with sleep, “Go back to bed.”

She just stood there. When he took a closer look, he noticed she had a strange expression on her face. She was looking at Madi.

“Clarke?” he asked carefully.

And There’s a Hand My Trusty Friend by Who_Needs_Reality

He sighs dramatically. “Can’t believe you’re not gonna let me kiss you until next year.” That sends a sudden, sharp jolt of sadness through Clarke, the realisation that they’re going to be spending another day spent pretending that she’s not his; it means ushering in their first year together… by, well, not being together.

Or, {NYE fluff where Bellamy and Clarke are together, but since they're keeping it a secret from their friends, they run into an unforeseen complication.}

A Little Bit of Something (God, It’s Better Than Nothing) by @grumpybell

“-Clarke.” He sounds alarmed, suddenly, none of the casual, arrogant, amusement that had been in his voice moments before. “What?” “Why is your mom calling me?” “Shit. Don't answer that. Listen, okay. She and I kind of got into an argument today-” “-what else is new?” “Shut up. Anyway, she told me she's getting married and there was just so much subtext about my failure at relationships and my lack of love life, and I might have told her I'm engaged too.” There's silence on the other end of the phone. “To you,” Clarke prompts.

I Don’t Need Your Love (I Just Need You Now) by @talistheintrovert

“What was the worst part?” Raven asked.

“Probably when he shoved me against a wall and stuck his tongue down my throat,” Clarke admitted, sipping her hot chocolate, which she quickly realised was spiked with rum. God, her friends were perfect.

Octavia and Raven both gasped, but it was Bellamy’s reaction that she found the most interesting. He didn’t say anything, didn’t look up from his book, or even alter his expression, but his hand balled into a fist on the arm of his chair.

OR: The AU where Clarke and Bellamy hate each other until Bellamy realises she's being mistreated, and does his best to protect her.

Come Close (And Then Even Closer) by sheryl_sems

Clarke thinks about Octavia and how her best friend had stormed out of the house earlier that day, furious at Clarke for taking her brother's side in their argument. She thinks about Raven, and Monty, and Jasper, and Wells, and Lincoln but in the end, she really only wants one person by her side and it's fruitless to fight herself on this one.

"Could you call Bellamy?" She finally says in a soft, hoarse whisper.

Or the one where Clarke is attacked and the only person she wants by her side in the aftermath is Bellamy Blake.

You Look Like a Movie. You Sound Like a Song. by lordmxrphy

She knows shouldn’t care. She and Bellamy were never together. They never dated. But for as long as Clarke can remember, Bellamy’s held her heart. Even if he’ll never know it.

(a modern au inspired by when we were young by adele)

What We Do to Each Other by marauders_groupie

A Bellarke AU in which Bellamy and Clarke are childhood best friends, separated by life and trying to relearn each other again.

A Symbol of Goodwill And Love by LayALioness

“So when you said we need a good tree, you meant,” he hedges, and she huffs, little clouds of steam escaping her mouth.

“One that needs a good home,” she says, like it’s obvious. “Shopping for a Christmas tree is like going to the pound—you don’t look for a purebred at the pound, Bellamy. You look for the puppy with a missing eye, or mange. One that needs us.”

“If this is code for wanting us to get a puppy,” Bellamy muses, reaching out to tug on the tassels of her hat. “I think we should probably live together, first.”

We Have to Stop Meeting Like This by @goldenheadfreckledheart

Tumblr prompt: “We both have friends who party too hard and we keep running into each other in the bathroom while we hold their hair back.”

Aka, the three times Bellamy and Clarke meet each other while taking care of their friends + the one time they don’t.

Christmas Sweaters by lightyears

Clarke's upset that she won't fit into her Christmas sweater this year. Bellamy surprises her with a new one.

Ladylike by Who_Needs_Reality

Bellamy stares at her. "You want me to make out with you. Platonically."

Clarke very resolutely does not panic. "Do it for the views, Bellamy."

(Or, an AU in which Clarke works for a Buzzfeed-esque company, and has to kiss someone in order to test lipstick durability for a new video. Feelings and decidedly non-platonic nonsense ensue.)

Love Is Not a Victory March by @asroarke

“You could have been here four years ago,” she reminded, raising her eyebrows at him.

“No, I couldn’t have. I needed to be here with you,” he replied, and Clarke felt like the breath had been knocked out of her. It wasn’t the first time he said something like that, of course. But it caught her off guard every damn time.

“Was it worth the wait?”

“Yes, you were,” he replied, and how could Clarke not kiss him after that?

Olympics AU where a knee injury kept Bellamy and Clarke from making it to the Olympics... the first time around.

the tie that binds me to you by glowinghorizons

“we’ve been pen pals for like hella months and we finally decided to meet up and damn you’re cute, also did you break up with your jerk bf/gf yet?” au

or:

bellamy and clarke finally meet after months and months of hand-written letters, phone calls and text messages.

you bring me honeysuckle by caramelle

It suddenly strikes Bellamy, one day, that his girlfriend is in possession of what has to be the best hair in the entire cosmos.

Or, the one where Bellamy's fixation with Clarke's hair is totally normal and healthy.

Walk With Me by arysa13

Bellamy is pretty sure you aren't supposed to hit on the people you're supposed to be getting home safely, but he kind of wants to anyway.

Prompt: Bellamy works at safe walk and Clarke keeps falling asleep studying. And is the last one to leave the library every night!

Sugar, Spice, and All Things Nice by Who_Needs_Reality

Clarke just really wants a peppermint mocha. Breaking into the apartment of her ex, with whom she may-or-may-not still kind of be madly in love, is an unplanned side effect. Mostly.

Based on the prompt "listen i know i can’t just show up at your apartment at six in the morning but i need coffee and no one makes it like you do”

time flies but you’re the pilot by @onemanbellarmy

“Wait a minute, your new art teacher is Clarke Griffin?”

Gus paused to consider. “I think so?”

A huff of a surprised laugh escaped Bellamy. He hadn’t talked to Clarke since college.

(or, single parent x child's teacher AU)

the girl next door by funfanfin

The first time he hears her, he’s making his grandmother’s afritada recipe, a dish that reminds him of long, lazy, hot summers in the Philippines.

The first time he learns her name is on a Tuesday so ordinary and average he wouldn’t have remembered it otherwise.

The first time he realizes he loves her is during the early hours of a cool morning, with her curled into his side.

-OR-Bellamy hears singing from the apartment next door. It isn't long before he meets the girl behind the smoky, haunted voice, and it isn't long before he learns the reasons for her sorrow-filled singing.

only fools rush in by @chants-de-lune

based on the tumblr prompt:

"just drove a guy home from a bar and for the whole 15 minutes he talked about how excited he was to see his wife"

the fuzziest of woodland creatures by tempestaurora

“it’s 2 in the morning and i was just trying to get home but i left my sunroof open all day and now there’s a squirrel in my car and it scared me and i drove into a pole – would you please stop laughing you’re a cop. you’re supposed to be helping”

Settling Debts by indygoh

"Um. Thank you. You didn't have to," she peeked up at him, suddenly shy for some reason. "I can pay you back."

Bellamy just chuckled, already shaking his head before she could finish her sentence.

"I've got a little sister. She probably would have kicked my ass if she found out I didn't do something to help you out back there."

Clarke raised a skeptical eyebrow. "Do you always rescue strange girls in desperate need of tampons?"

"Only the really cute ones with crowns on their butts."

when love hits (better make it worth the fall) by kay_emm_gee

Summary: Four times Clarke gets hit on the head (+1 time she doesn't) during her last semester of high school, and every single time, Bellamy Blake is somehow involved.

Turn the tide on my losing side by Lalalli

Clarke doesn’t know why Thelonius Jaha keeps posting really random shit to her Facebook wall, but whatever. It’s fine. It was weird at first, but she’s used to it now.

And then Bellamy gets involved and it gets weird again.

My Soft Place to Land by Who_Needs_Reality

Bellamy's happy to be back. He's even happier to see who's waiting for him.

{Or, soldier!Bellamy comes back home after being deployed and meets someone special}

We Keep it a Secret (You Leave Me Dying to Know) by @ringsabellamy

Bellamy doesn’t claim to be the greatest at dating, especially considering he’s been quietly in love with his best friend for the past six years, but hey, at least he’s been /trying/ to get over her. Not, of course, that this current situation is helping.

Or: Bellamy just asked Clarke to fake being his girlfriend for one date, honest. But then things got a little...out of hand.

If You Like Your Coffee Hot by marauders_groupie

They haven't been friends for a very long time but Bellamy still can't ignore Clarke acting out and getting into fights when she was a model student just a few months ago. They might’ve kept each other at distance for years but she is still his first best friend.

Calm my tears, Kill these fears by @goldenheadfreckledheart

Prompt: I somehow always get you as a cashier at Walmart and it's always when I’m buying the weirdest shit at the weirdest time. “A head of lettuce at 3am?” "It's a long story”

bit of a disaster, aren’t we? by katsumi

Clarke breaks her ankle and really would prefer that Bellamy not find out about it. She has a feeling he's going to get mad. (She's right.)

~~~

CANON-VERSE AUS

Meet Me in the Morning by monroeslittle

“I guess one of us is messed up,” he said, “and it’s part of our hallucination that the other is, too.” He paused. “Seems appropriately hellish that my mind sticks me with you.”

She pursed her lips. “Likewise.”

AU. Clarke is trapped in a stupid time loop, and guess who's trapped with her?

I Miss Our Little Talks by @chants-de-lune

“Wow,” she breathed out. “I thought that one would have done me in.”

Bellamy didn’t smile, shaking his head and taking the slightest edge of coldness off his glare.

“You took a bullet for me.” he said through gritted teeth. “Don’t ever do that again.”

Today is Dying by theprincessandtheking

“Look, sorry, but it’s an emergency,” Harper said, eyes firmly fixed on the wall ahead of her.

The tea he’d downed at the bar was still in his system, as evidenced by the way the room spun when he reached for his shirt a few feet away and struggled to pull it over his head.

“So much of an emergency that you couldn’t knock?”

“It’s Clarke.”

That I Will Never Escape by @talistheintrovert

“Execute me; I poisoned you. Let Clarke live."

“Very well,” Octavia raised a hand and a soldier with a gun pointed it down at him. He steeled himself for the bullet that would end his life, but before it left the chamber, Clarke yelled out.

“No!”

He jumped, surprised, when she moved suddenly, and he registered in his periphery as she snatched the sword from the floor and spun it in her hand deftly.

“Clarke, what are you doing?” Bellamy frowned, his gaze switching to her, but a part of him already knew. His body was reacting to it before his brain could catch up – he felt his breath catch in his throat, and his heart-rate speed up.

we were nothing more than stardust by cresswell

"I'm going to kill that bastard," he says quietly, bent close to Clarke's ear. "He's not going to touch you again, and I'm going to kill him."

Her pinkie finger extends, brushing the waistband of his jeans, and he carefully pushes their palms together, lacing their fingers. He thinks she smiles in her sleep.

Love is Not a Whisper (or a weakness) by monroeslittle

"There was a strange, muffled snap, and the tentacle around her middle was retracted. The hold on her ankle was gone, and Bellamy was pulling her up through the water. She began to pump her arms, and they broke the surface; she gasped, and coughed.

He pressed a gun into her hand. “If you see a ripple, shoot,” he ordered."

AU. The dropship doesn't land on land. The next seven years are a little bit different.

Astraphobia by @chants-de-lune

The fear of thunder and lightning. In other words, rainy day cuddling with a bit of angst.

Trying to remember how it feels to have a heartbeat by islabbe

There was blood everywhere; some of it red, but most of it was black. Bellamy wrinkled his nose at the metallic smell as it filled his nose. Pushing down the reflex to gag, he quickly made his way over to the tent.

“Clarke, stay with me,” he said gruffly, his voice straining as bent down to enter hers and Madi’s tent. She was drifting in and out of consciousness and Bellamy knew the longer he dawdled, the less time she had.

We Can’t Leave Us Behind by @ringsabellamy

"I don’t blame you for that, not anymore. I understand why you had to leave. But it still hurt, Clarke. And I guess...I think your goodbye reminds me of how I felt. Of what it was like to lose you.”

“The kiss,” she says, eyes full of sudden realization. “You think when I kiss you, it means I’m going to leave you.”

Or: Bellamy has a lot of healing to do, one try at a time.

Set The Dark On Fire by @talistheintrovert

Clarke isn't coping well with peacetime on the Eligius ship, and while Bellamy has woken some of the others (mainly spacekru) and tries to organise a trip to the ground, making decisions and considering all the variables, Clarke makes a choice of her own:

She'll take herself out of the equation.

OR: the post season 5 idea I had to write because all of the unresolved emotional turmoil this season is actually killing me and someone needs to notice that Clarke is in pain, for the love of god.

for everything unsaid (there is a flourish of my pride) by theprincessandtheking

“I don’t know,” he says. “I guess I just didn’t really care either way anymore.”

She pauses, and from the corner of his eye he can see the odd expression on her face.

“So in the middle of wartime, when everything is going to hell around us, shaving is still a priority. But you spend six years with all the free time in the world for it, and suddenly you don’t care?”

He tries to smile at the joke, but he thinks it comes out as more of a grimace.

“I guess down here it was more of a sense of normalcy,” he explains. “But with you gone—”

He pauses, clears his throat in an attempt to keep his voice steady.

“Without you there, nothing really felt normal.”

I can never be alone when all gods keep calling me out by angel_deux

Raven fixes the radio after a few years, and Clarke can talk to them again.

they will see my strength (in this love i’ve found) by glowinghorizons

“If you’re married they won’t let you go alone.”

The silence is deafening. Bellamy braces himself for the slap he knows is going to come his way any second, but it never happens.

“You--” she sounds breathless. “You don’t even know me.”

Bellamy shrugs. “Look. I-- this is crazy. I know. I just know that I can’t let my sister go to the ground without me.”

OR, Clarke finds out she's being sent to the Ground only days after her Dad dies. Bellamy is determined to go to the Ground with his sister. They need to fool everyone to make it work.

Like a Second Heart by Who_Needs_Reality

She’s hardly surprised, the first few times it happens. The hallucinations are vivid, but not long, not much, just short, staccato bursts of him, tiny pieces to keep her going -- his hand extended out to her to help her up from the rubble, his voice a soothing murmur in her ear telling her she’ll be alright until she finds water… of course she sees him, of course she hears him. It’s Bellamy -- who else would her mind conjure up to help her survive? There are worse symptoms praimfaya has left her with than a few too-real imaginings of her best friend after all.

{Clarke's not worried when she starts to hallucinate Bellamy. It's only when the dreams continue to haunt her even after the real Bellamy comes back that she's concerned}

We Sure Know How to Run by winterwaters

While attempting to get Jaha farther from the AI and the nuclear warhead, Clarke, Murphy and Emori run into trouble from another tribe and Clarke is injured. Bellamy and his group happen to be following that tribe and help take care of her. On the way home, she confronts her feelings for Bellamy - with a bit of help from Emori.

darling, just hold my hand by killianslonghaul

“I know you don’t like public displays of affection, but… you’re really not going to kiss me goodbye?”

Bellamy doesn't really do PDA, but he might make an exception.

baby on board by katebishop

As a soon-to-be father, Bellamy thinks he's feeling the appropriate amount of worry and concern for his pregnant wife.

Clarke thinks he's utterly ridiculous.

~~~

Other AUS

Forbidden Words by onceuponahundred

we’re in between classes, and we both hear a fourth year calling a first year a mudblood, and neither of us are having any of that prejudiced bullshit. unfortunately, my impulse was to hex them, and yours was to punch them in the face, and my jelly-legs curse hit you instead, i’m really sorry, and we both are probably getting detention now, but hey, plus side, you’re kind of cute

{Bellarke in Harry Potter}

Name One Hero Who Was Happy by Who_Needs_Reality

Clarke huffs again, and he glances at her.

“The Curse of Achilles, Bellamy? Do you know how risky that was?”

“I got the idea when I felt my soul being torn from my body.”

She sniffs, imperious. “How did you do it?”

“Huh?” Her voice is smaller when she speaks again. “How did you...not get your soul...y’know?”

“Oh,” he swallows. “I had some help.”

{Bellarke in a Percy Jackson/The Last Olympian AU}

Don’t Think I Want What I Used to Want by arysa13

Bellamy has a compass that points to what his heart most desires, which, as a pirate, must be treasure, obviously.

can’t control my feelings, can’t control my thoughts by katsumi

When Jasper accidentally gifts Clarke a love potion, everyone she interacts with starts acting...weird. Everyone, that is, except Bellamy. [Hogwarts AU]

~~~

#bellarke fanfiction #bellarke #The 100 #bellamy blake #clarke griffin #there's a looooott #this should keep you busy for a while lmao #(there will be more parts)#(I have read wayyyy too much blarke fic)#also i am so super sorry if the continue reading link breaks oml #that would be so much scrolling lmao #im sorryyy #but bellarkeeeee #mads fic recs

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imaginedanganronpa · 6 years ago

Note

How would the NDRV3 kids (minutes Gonta and Shinguuji of course) react if they somehow found out about the Shinguuji+Gonta/fem!SO bondage relationship?

I love that you guys are so interested in this pair! This Request is based on a series of imagines I’ve written, you can find those here! Enjoy!

This isn’t that NSFW, but some NSFW themes below!!

Original | Part 2: Someone breaks into their home | Part 3: Kidnapping roleplay

V3 Cast Finding Out About Gonta Gokuhara x Fem!S/O x Korekiyo Shinguuji’s Bondage Relationship!

Kaede Akamatsu

Kaede would find out about your… special relationship bycomplete accident. Since she is close friends with Gonta, they talk in class frequently when they have downtime. Somehow, the topic of relationships came up in conversation and he started talking about you, accidentally mentioning Korekiyo’s name as well.

Confused, Kaede draws in her eyebrows and questions him. Korekiyo overhears this, and before he gets the chance to step in, Gonta realizes what he says and, well, he can’t keep his mouth shut.

She would immediately turn red-faced and become incredibly flustered, dropping her pencil and her bag frantically as she apologized, insisting that she didn’t mean to bring up any private ‘activities.’

When Kaede gets uncomfortable, she can’t help but to giggle, and she couldn’t hold them back. Korekiyo’s intervention only made her more uncomfortable and intensified her blush.

She definitely wouldn’t judge you, and would make sure that everything is consensual and healthy. Sure, Kaede would be shocked and unsure of how to react, but she would still be supportive of her friends.

She’s more embarrassed for her sake than yours since she feels like she crossed a line and heard some details about your intimacy that she definitely didn’t want to know.

It takes Kaede a long time to finally be able to look any of you in the eye again, quickly apologizing and blushing whenever she saw you three together… the image is burned into her memory.

But she won’t shame or belittle you. People like what they like.

Saihara Shuichi

Saihara would probably find out onhis own. He would be able to use his Detective abilities to analyze theirbehavior and tell that something was wrong. Since you were in a different class from Gonta and Korekiyo, he started to worry that something was happening between those two and wanted to warn you about it, like a good friend would.

He’s seen the two men flirting in class, but they always tried to hide it. Saihara could read them like a book, though, and he knew that if he was in your position, he’d want to know. Still, he was surprised that someone like Gonta would be unfaithful.

So, he approaches you after school one day before Gonta left and told you what he saw - about their quick touches and too close for comfort contact that certainly wasn’t just platonic.

As soon as he brings it up, you start blushing furiously. Not long afterwards, Gonta joins you and Saihara gives him a dirty look. You do your best to diffuse the situation, but things escalate from there.

Before the two can start arguing, you cut it off. “No, Shuichi! It isn’t what it looks like… I know about it and, well, we have a… relationship, strictly for intimate purposes and-”

That’s when he cuts you off, Saihara’s jaw dropping. Did he just hear you correctly? Oh boy, his Detective brain really over-thought the situation and now he’s embarrassed.

Regardless, he’d be a little bit stunned at first. He was one of the biggestsupporters of yours and Gonta’s relationship, but he thought that this was abit too extreme for him.

It’s not his place to judge, he just sometimes wished he didn’t figure it out in the first place. Curse his talent.

Maki Harukawa

Maki finds out about your bondage relationship by complete accident and it was totally unintentional. She doesn’t try breaching people’s privacy by listening to their private conversations, but sometimes she catches wind of things she doesn’t want to hear.

The three of you gathered in the classroom before anyone else had arrived. Unbeknownst to you, Maki arrived a few minutes later and quietly sat outside of the classroom as she read a book.

You talked about your relationship freely since you didn’t think anyone else was around. Maki’s face twisted into a disgusted, perplexed expression as she wasn’t entirely sure she was hearing things right.

She slowly stands and peeks her head into the room to announce her presence, and the three of you stopped immediately, your faces turning pale. You could tell by her reaction that she definitely overheard what you were saying.

Maki would be grossed out, not fully believing what she heard. She recognized that that was a normal thing, but she didn’t expect that from you three, especially. (Well, maybe Korekiyo, but still.)

Gonta immediately tried apologizing to her and instead she dismissively raised her hand and started backing away, leaving the room and walking down the hall without another word. “I don’t want to know, don’t apologize, just keep that to yourselves.”

She then tells you to keep away from her and you can feel her judging stare once class started. Maki melted into her seat and desperately tried to forget about what she heard.

Ouma Kokichi

Since Ouma and Gonta are friends, he’d probably find out through him directly. Gonta doesn’t fully understand the idea of boundaries and, although sharing is caring, he doesn’t realize that some things are better kept to yourself.

“Hey, Gonta, how are you and (Y/N)?” Ouma asks positively, looking for any way to tease him. Although, it was a genuine question since he cared about the large man more than most of your classmates, he just liked giving him Hell if the opportunity arises.

“Gonta and Korekiyo are fine!” He responds with a cheery smile, mishearing the smaller man and not realizing what he said. This caught Ouma’s attention, who latched onto the misstep and questioned him.

“What did you just say?” A sly smirk appearing on his face. Just then, it finally hit Gonta and he tried to cover up the mistake.

“N-nothing!” He responds frantically, but that won’t cut it with Ouma. He started to pry, and you intervened and dragged your boyfriend away from him before he said anything else on accident.

Regardless, Ouma is smart and he put the pieces together eventually. He was sharper than you’d like to admit, so he could instantly tell what was going on between you three.

He would probably start laughing uncontrollably, followed by a lot of teasing. Wiping a tear from his eye, he would pinch himself because he couldn’t believe it. From then on, you had to deal with plenty of snide comments from Ouma who clearly judged you, teasing and tormenting you as he used the relationship to blackmail each of you.

“People like freaky shit, what can I say?” He smirks, pretending as if he didn’t have some strong opinions, but you knew he did.

Himiko Yumeno

She had been trying to concoct some new ‘spells and potions’ that she insisted would work, and used Gonta as her voluntary test subject. Himiko told him that she had a potion that would get him to spill his deepest secrets, when in reality, she just liquidized laughing gas.

But Gonta didn’t know that and started to feel the side-effects very quickly. You were hesitant about Himiko’s so-called potion but you never thought it would actually work.

That’s when he started to ramble on about your relationship, dropping Korekiyo’s name, which caused suspicions to arise. Himiko tilted her head and questioned him, “Huh? Kiyo?”

“Yeah… Korekiyo, (Y/N) and Gonta have a special relationship…” You watched helplessly in horror as he spilled all of the details about the adult things you three did together.

Himiko quickly covered her ears and panicked, backing away from Gonta as she frantically tried to find a spell that would bring him back to his senses. She definitely wasn’t a fan and didn’t want to hear about that sort of thing.

“Nyeh! I wish I could cast a spell onmyself to forget I ever knew about this!” She exclaims as she runs around her Lab, trying desperately to find a cure. Himiko ended up convincing herself that it was all a dream, but you think she was just going into denial.

She started to laugh awkwardly since she got uncomfortable and refused to look at any of you for a long time after that. Anytime she was around you, she would blush and avoid eye-contact.

You felt bad, like you had stolen her innocence.

Rantaro Amami

Rantaro would probably makeassumptions and be able to put two and two together. He sees through all of the interactions between Gonta and Korekiyo, and can tell that something more is going on.

He would become protective over you, his brotherly instincts kicking in since he views you like he does his sisters. Rantaro would approach you and ask you directly if you knew about their relationship.

Your face was flushed as soon as he mentioned it, although you didn’t think Rantaro knew the extent of it all. Wordlessly, you nodded your head which caused some alarms to go off in his mind.

He originally just wanted to make sure that Gonta wasn’t being unfaithful to avoid you getting hurt in the future, but now he’s curious.

Knowing how sly he is, you were certain that he would figure it out eventually. You’ve always been able to trust Rantaro, so you preface it by asking him not to tell a soul, and after he makes a pinkey-promise, you tell him the basics.

He’d be a little bit surprised at first, his eyebrows rising. “Really?” Honestly, he was at a loss for words.

He’s chill though. Rantaro isn’t the type to judge others for what they do behind closed doors and he would be extremely supportive of you. He doesn’t tell Gonta or Korekiyo that he knows to maintain your friendship, and he keeps your secret safe.

Rantaro simply makes sure everything and everyone involved is safe and consensual above all else, and that you were happy. Otherwise, why should he care?

That’s all that matters

Tenko Chabashira

Out of everyone, she’s one of the last people you would want to tell about your relationship. She doesn’t mind Gonta as much as other men since he strives towards being a gentleman, but it still took her a long time to accept him and your romantic relationship.

She didn’t need to know what you did in the privacy of your own homes. With that said, Tenko finds out accidentally.

She would overhear your conversation before school started one day as she passed by your classroom. You weren’t in the same class as the boys, so she was visiting you. It wasn’t strange to see Gonta in your classroom, but why was Korekiyo there?

Curiosity killed the cat, and Tenko lingered in the hallway to try to find out for herself. Needless to say, she heard some things she didn’t want to hear and caused a scene.

Tenko isn’t going to be the mostunderstanding. You try to settle her down and explain yourself, but she’s not listening.

She always found Gonta to be much more tolerable than most men, mainly since you convinced her that he wasn’t so bad. But Korekiyo… he’s always given her the creeps. Why him of all people?

“Two degenerate males?! How could you?!” She exclaims, pointing fingers at them. They both try to calm her down but to no avail.

She would come across as pretty rude, but in the end she just wants to make sure that you’re happy. And if you are then she can tolerate your after school activities…

Tenko just doesn’t want to hear about it. Ever.

Kiibo

Kiibo has a heart of gold and he liked all three of you, considering you to be his friends. He was the closest to you, though, and he liked hearing about your relationship with Gonta. He always wished he could love the same way humans could, so he lived vicariously through you.

On a slip of the tongue, you would drop Korekiyo’s name which caused some confusion. “Korekiyo? Don’t you mean Gonta?” The Robot asked with a very lost expression on his face.

You tried hiding your blush as you correct yourself, making up some excuse but Kiibo sees through it.

Between your panicky words and behavior and his functions that allowed him to easily tell when others were lying, he quickly realized why you said Korekiyo’s name but didn’t want to believe it.

Kiibo would be a bit blunt, to say the least, and ask if he was ever involved in your relationship. With a nod, you start explaining how he became a part of yours and Gonta’s dynamic and perhaps you were too specific with details.

Kiibo would probably panic and shut off, his eyes turning into static and his system becoming unresponsive. He just… stopped working. You freaked out and tried finding the switch to turn him back on or restart him, but he didn’t want to be bothered.

When he finally comes to, Kiibo asks you to never speak of those things ever again. That’s a promise you have no issue with keeping, and from then on he tried acting as though everything was normal.

But Kiibo can’t forget, he’s memory drive doesn’t allow it, so now he’s scarred for life. Still, he’ll do his best to be okay with it as long as everything was consensual, blushing as he spoke about it.

Miu Iruma

I mean… it’s Miu.

She wouldn’t care about your relationship all that much and was instead more interested in your sex life, which isn’t surprising. Although she had good intentions and it was just sheer curiosity, she came across as a little bit too pushy.

She’d talk to you before class started, sitting backwards in her chair and leaning all too close as she interrogated you. “So, how’s Gonta?”

You didn’t pick up on her remarks at first until she started getting specific, asking about the different things you guys have ‘tried out’. Although you wanted to avoid answering such personal questions, Miu just wouldn’t let up. You give her a very vague answer and ask her to drop it.

Apparently you answer wasn’t vague enough and hinted at a third-party. She raised her brow and asked, “What do you mean? You don’t have threesomes, do you? Perverts!”

As soon as she said that, your face turned bright red. Even though she was joking, Miu could sense that she had stricken a chord and immediately burst into laughter. “No way! With who?!”

Your eyes subconsciously drifted over to Korekiyo without you even realizing it, and that sent her into an even louder fit of laughter.

Miu would love it, getting a real kick out of it and teased you. From then on, she made plenty of comments about your sexual relationship and would try checking up from time to time, though you didn’t really want to answer and she’s the last person you wanted to talk about this with.

“I didn’t know you were a bunch of freaks!” Miu exclaims, causing you to melt into your chair with embarrassment.

Kaito Momota

Kaito tends to have his head up in space, and he thinks he’s more of a ladies man than what he really is.

He would start by asking Gonta about yourrelationship, not intending to turn it into a sexual conversation at all. He was genuinely curious since Gonta was new to the dating world and Kaito was ready to give him some relationship advice.

Happily, Gonta told him that Korekiyo already had that covered. Confused, Kaito questioned him and commented, “I never took Kiyo as being much of a savant when it comes to the ladies.”

Then, Gonta accidentally blurted out a rather incriminating sentence about your bondage relationship. The Astronaut didn’t catch it at first, but when it finally settled in, he was stunned.

“Wait, what the fuck?!” He didn’t intend to come across as rude, but he couldn’t hold it back. His face turned red and Kaito started to get more flustered.

Gonta frantically tried to apologize and asked Kaito to forget everything that was said. With a thumbs-up, he told him he would try and promptly excused himself from Gonta’s general area, needing to catch some air.

He would be as supportive as possible, but if the subject did arise then he would become a bit embarrassed. As confident as he was and as much as he thought he was an expert in this field, Kaito didn’t want to hear all the details about what you three did together.

Angie Yonaga

You always thought Angie was an oblivious ball of sunshine, but maybe she wasn’t as clueless as you pegged her to be.

She started making comments about sexuality and compared them to her religious beliefs. Typically speaking, Angie was quite accepting and didn’t really judge others based on what they did in their spare time. As far as she’s concerned, that was none of her business.

While lecturing Ouma about Atua and her morals, he brought the topic of sexuality up. Angie made a comment about how Atua doesn’t really care what people do with their bodies, and since you and your boyfriend were an earshot away, she suddenly turned to you and asked, “Isn’t that right, Gonta and (Y/N)?”

The comment caught you off-guard, and in a half-asleep daze you added, “and Korekiyo.”

Now Angie was the one who was stunned. She blinks a few times, her eyes widening as she made the connection and started asking you for details. As soon as you realized what you said, you blushed and tried to cover it up, but she wasn’t convinced.

"Oh, that’s so sinful~!” Angie says with a bright smile on her face, before adding, “Just remember, Atua is always watching!”

That sentence really got under your skin and caused you to roll your eyes. Angie didn’t really mind and found it more humorous than anything else.

However, she did offer to sit in on one of your sessions so she could paint you three in the nude - you definitely weren’t taking her up on it, though.

Kirumi Tojo

Kirumi is fairly old-fashioned and doesn’t talk about these kinds of things very often. They’re never brought up which is perfectly fine as far as you’re concerned.

Korekiyo recently hired her to help him clean up his place, so she’s been visiting him and working as his Maid for quite some time now. She didn’t mind, she was happy to help a classmate out. Both you and Gonta knew about this but never thought it would be an interference.

She stopped by that morning before you two showed up, but happened to forget one of her personal belongings in Korekiyo’s home. Since he had given her a spare key, she gladly let herself in and walked towards the bedroom where she left it.

Well, you know where this is going.

Kirumi cracked the door and just briefly saw the scene that was unfolding, stopping dead in her tracks as she gasped and covered her mouth, quickly shutting the door and frantically apologizing from behind it.

She became extremely flustered and her entire face was red, so Korekiyo comforted her as he loosely got dressed and excused himself from your session. You and Gonta, on the other hand, hid under the covers in embarrassment, hoping that she didn’t see too much.

Kirumi respects other couple’s boundaries and acknowledges that that is a normal part of life, so she doesn’t judge you too harshly. She was just more shocked and embarrassed than anything else.

She asks you to give her a warning next time and tries to forget all about it by the next day.

Tsumugi Shirogane

Tsumugi didn’t want to know, but things happen.

Korekiyo was holding a house-warming party and most of your class showed up. In his home, he had two closets: one where he kept the clothes we wore, and one for… other things.

Since she’s so interested in cosplay and fashion, Tsumugi couldn’t help herself. Korekiyo took you and Gonta aside while everyone else was in the other room to show you where he relocated your ‘things.’

And of course, she overheard him talking about it. Out of curiosity, she slipped into his room after you three parted ways to find out what the hype was about. She thought he was hiding something new and exciting, like a cultural costume of some kind, but no…

When Tsumugi peered inside the closet to see all of the assorted goods and items you used during your sessions, her jaw dropped and her eyes widened, a blush forming on her cheeks.

At first, she freaked out and caused a scene. Korekiyo promptly tried to shut it down before she brought anyone else’s attention to your secret relationship, so he had to cover her mouth.

After the initial shock subsided, Tsumugi got all hot and bothered. “I knew you were a freak Korekiyo, but wow!” She says with glazed eyes. It was a bit disturbing, to say the least.

She just had so many questions about your relationship and what you three did together! She was genuinely curious, but Korekiyo refused to oblige. It made your friendship a bit strange and she started giving you odd looks whenever the three of you were together, but was generally supportive. (Maybe a bit too supportive, at that.)

Ryoma Hoshi

You can usually talk about these kinds of things around Ryoma since he doesn’t normally pay attention. He’s typically off in his own little world, his mind wandering into new places.

Sometimes you forget he’s even there. Ryoma is so quiet and Gonta is so careless that he started to openly talk about your relationship, forgetting that he was sitting just an earshot away and could easily hear whatever was being said.

He doesn’t usually like to snoop on others, but he happened to overhear this particular conversation and Ryoma’s eyes immediately went wide.

He really didn’t know what to think, never suspecting you three of something like that. He turned his head to stare at you, and Gonta’s heart sank instantly after he realized that he was being too loud and abrasive.

Although you tried to step in and apologize before things got too out of hand, Ryoma wordlessly stood and gathered his belongings, instead apologizing for the intrusion and excused himself.

As you called out for him to wait so you could explain, but he raised his hand dismissively and started to walk faster. “I don’t need an apology or an explanation, I’ve already heard too much and I don’t want to know any more, thank you.”

“But wait!” You insist; Ryoma just wasn’t having it. “No, it’s really my bad, I shouldn’t have been listening!”

He insists that he’s supportive and that he doesn’t care, but anytime he makes eye contact with any of you, he starts to immediately blush and becomes uncomfortable.

- Mod Rantaro

65 notes · View notes

lichsent · 6 years ago

Text

CHARACTER STATISTICS

TAGGED BY : @breselin im a few days late but shhh-- TAGGING : 🤔

—— PHYSICAL STATS;

RUNNING SPEED — 6 / 10

RUNNING ENDURANCE — 7 / 10

LIFTING STRENGTH — 8 / 10

CARRYING ENDURANCE — 6 / 10

JUMPING ABILITY — 10 / 10

THROWING STRENGTH — 6 / 10

STEALTH ABILITY — 10 / 10

PAIN TOLERANCE — 10 / 10

SWIMMING SPEED — 6 / 10

SWIMMING ENDURANCE — 6 / 10

STRETCHING ABILITY — 8 / 10

DANCING ABILITY — 3 / 10

CLIMBING ABILITY — 6 / 10

TOUCH SENSITIVITY ( PLATONIC ) — 1 / 10

TOUCH SENSITIVITY ( INTIMATE ) — 4 / 10

GENERAL REFLEXES — 10 / 10

OVERALL PHYSICAL CONDITION — 7 / 10

TRIVIA — as an altmer, mannimarco’s body is considerably in a “better” condition than a man’s inherently. however, he never did bother with physically training himself more than what was necessary because, as he came from a traditional altmer family, it was not viewed as important. moreover, mannimarco was pushed to pursue the magical arts more than anything else. as such, he is not as strong as one would be if they chose to walk down the path of a warrior. altmer are naturally endowed with above average abilities, including that of strength (they are said to make fine warriors, actually.), so mannimarco is, indeed, lucky with his current stats. his status as a lich actually complicates this, mainly because his body deteriorates at a completely different level than a mortal’s would. as such, his tolerance to pain is at an all-time high, and his sensitivity to touch is considerably pitiful in comparison. the primary reason his body “recognizes” touch from an intimate standpoint is, rather, because his mind understands it to be such. as such, he has properly hardwired himself to acknowledge it as such and “taught” his body to regard it with a more... reactionary approach. basically, any of his physical skills that are above average? it’s because of his magical abilities enhancing him and/or doing most, if not all, of the work for him.

—— MENTAL STATS;

ADVANCED MATHEMATICS — 9 / 10

SIMPLE MATHEMATICS — 10 / 10

SPATIAL AWARENESS — 10 / 10

CHEMISTRY UNDERSTANDING — 10 / 10

BIOLOGICAL UNDERSTANDING — 10 / 10

NATURE SCIENCES UNDERSTANDING — 10 / 10

CREATIVE INTELLIGENCE — 7 / 10

ARTISTIC ABILITY — 5 / 10

MUSICAL PROWESS — 3 / 10

MIMICKING ABILITY ( AUDITORY ) — 10 / 10

ODD PROBLEM-SOLVING — 9 / 10

COMPREHENSION ( SPOKEN WORD ) — 10 / 10

COMPREHENSION ( WRITTEN WORD ) — 10 / 10

COMEDIC ABILITY — 3 / 10

COMEDIC TIMING — 5 / 10

OVERALL MENTAL PROWESS — 10 / 10

TRIVIA — now, here’s where mannimarco truly shines. mannimarco, under the eyes of his parents, studied practically all day and all night. he rarely retained a healthy sleep schedule, partially because of his parents’ insistence regarding his studies and partially, also, because of his own stubbornness towards taking breaks. he has always been opposed to resting, primarily due to his parents and their assertiveness regarding it being seen as “lazy”. as such, mannimarco is a natural workaholic with heavy perfectionist tendencies. this aids him very heftily in his intelligence, as he is a very fast learner and absorbs information impressively easily-- to a, perhaps, frightening point where he would only need to look at a thing once (twice if he wanted to be certain.) and recall a majority of its information/statistics/data with a confident finesse. conversely, mannimarco does somewhat poorly when it regards the arts. this is mainly due to his parents and their strict methods, but also because mannimarco never felt much interest towards it anyway. his idea of “fun” and “hobbies” differs greatly from what a “normal” person would think of it. additionally, he hardly has much time to dedicate towards such trivial matters (in his words.), because he could always be using that time to learning, observing, and anything else that would give him even the smallest advantage over the majority. what little activities mannimarco does participate could be seen as “boring” in comparison; he strongly prefers to read in his free time or, if he cannot do that, engages in discussion with those he deems as worthy-- sephiroth ( @breselin ) is almost always his first choice regarding this. mannimarco is considerably down to earth, however, and he is capable of recognizing very early on when he is being tricked. he merely goes along with this “game” because he knows he’ll survive it. essentially, he sees everyone and everything before him like they were pieces on a chessboard. where’s mannimarco in all of this? well, he’d like to consider himself as the player-- the one that controls what goes where and what conquers what.

—— EMOTIONAL STATS;

INTERPERSONAL INSTINCT — 5 / 10

INTRAPERSONAL INSTINCT — 9 / 10

EXTROVERSION — 2 / 10

MORAL COMPASS — 3 / 10

EMPATHY — 2 / 10

EXTRASENSORY ABILITY ( PSYCHIC ) — 4 / 10

EMOTIONAL ENDURANCE — 10 / 10

COPING ABILITY — 5 / 10

TENDENCY TOWARDS ABUSIVE BEHAVIOUR — 3 / 10

TENDENCY TOWARDS VICTIM BEHAVIOUR — 0 / 10

LEVEL OF DENIAL — 1 / 10

PROTECTOR COMPLEX — 7 / 10

DAMSEL COMPLEX — 0 / 10

EMOTIONAL INTIMACY ( WITH PARTNER ) — 10 / 10

EMOTIONAL INTIMACY ( WITH FRIENDS ) — 2 / 10

EMOTIONAL COMPREHENSION — 9 / 10

TENDENCY TOWARDS PANIC — 1 / 10

GENERAL EMOTIONAL STABILITY — 9 / 10

TRIVIA — mentally speaking, mannimarco is surprisingly well-adjusted considering his low empathy. he views things on a scale of grey, preferring to no longer see things as on extreme or the other. this thought process greatly annoys him, as he views it as hindering to a person’s growth. as such, he projects this idea onto himself and will not tolerate it from any angle-- including from himself, even if it were to be done subconsciously. the main “problem child”, as mannimarco would refer to it as, is his empathy. he, under most circumstances, does not bother to relate to people and views the feelings of others as unnecessary. he is very much a stereotypical “intellectual”, disregarding the emotional reactions and going with what he views as most pragmatic or, perhaps, most beneficial. this isn’t to say that he isn’t capable of empathy, though. he exhibits it more often towards sephiroth, because he is... in a way, very curious regarding him. as such, this leads to mannimarco shamelessly prodding against him but only in a way that both would deem tolerable. i wouldn’t say mannimarco is touch starved but, comparatively, does desire intimacy from sephiroth when the two of them can allow for it. due to this, mannimarco has and sees no issue in expressing himself in “softer” and “gentler” tones with sephiroth, as their relationship develops further and further. mannimarco is the type of person that has a very deep and thorough understanding about himself but hasn’t bothered to do the same with others. sephiroth is, perhaps, one of the few people he’s deemed worth the effort for. as such, mannimarco retains a somewhat obsessive perspective about it which leads back to his down to earth nature that was mentioned earlier. he’s a lot more calmer and observant, leaning more to the shadows and is very much a “people watcher” than he is an “entertainer”. when mannimarco is interested in someone, he wishes to know everything there is about them. in a way, he does find this to be a privilege-- one that, if given to him, he’d be a fool to give up. because of his disconnect from civilization and humanity as a majority, mannimarco does not bother with basic niceties within conversation. he does not see the purpose in holding his tongue or masking his opinions under countless piles of “white lies”. he strongly prefers blunt honesty so, because of this preference, his ability regarding socialization and the like falters. it definitely falls behind what would even be considered as normal for a typical altmer, meaning that mannimarco himself is a bit “abnormal” for his own race of mer. this does not affect him, however. he recognizes the common cues within conversations and will most certainly keep his mouth shut if it benefits him more than it would to argue. however, mannimarco sees honesty as a strong characteristic. this is why he only surrounds himself with a select few, yielding towards them his thoughts, his ideals, and his opinions while fully expecting a genuine yet truthful answer. he cannot and will not stand for otherwise.

#headcanons。 i did not give you permission to eavesdrop.#hi.

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foeseekerwriter · 6 years ago

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Let’s Shred Voltron

Here’s a rather rambling, non-comprehensive breakdown of the ways VLD has royally screwed over its entire cast. Because I’m fed up and needed to get some of this off my chest so I could move on with other projects.

Allura is now a Workaholic Married to the Job. This girl is being made to do everything—be the team’s main diplomat and the leader of the Voltron Coalition (whose alleged size and scope makes the UN look like a children’s play group; this unto itself is a job for at least ten people), be the heart of Voltron by encouraging the rest of the team and giving them advice, pilot the Blue Lion (which entails plenty of dangerous and exhausting aerial and hand-to-hand combat), generate wormholes, be the “support brain” with her knowledge of alien tech/culture/races/etc.—the list could probably go on. This poor girl has been turned into the show’s workhorse, and not even realistically so either. She should be exhausted, worn out, maybe not broken—at least in her resolve—but completely drained by being pulled every which way all the time. But she’s the same enthusiastic, inspiring, almost peppy girl we met at the beginning, which implies that either Alteans have utterly incomprehensible reserves of energy or that the writers don’t care about writing her realistically, they just want her to do all their work for them.

This noble princess has also now been effectively dethroned, with the loss of the Castle and her crown—despite the fact that there are Alteans still out there who, now that Lotor is gone, will quite possibly be looking to her for leadership. This loss of any significant position of power or status aside from being the pilot of the Blue Lion was made abundantly clear when Allura, technically the ruler of the Altean diaspora and leader of the Voltron coalition, was put into a Galaxy Garrison cadet uniform. This was an insult to all the paladins, but most especially to Allura, as it indicates she is now subservient to a government military organization for a country and planet she isn’t even a resident or citizen of (a la the Avengers submitting to a government agency via the Accords in CA:CW). Allura has been stripped of any and all reasons for recognition except her status as a paladin. That (aside from her doing almost all the work to get everything done) is the only reason she still remains relevant.

She’s also been put into relationship roulette. I am thoroughly convinced that Monsanto was setting her up to be paired with Keith during the first two seasons (they spend a lot of time together, and aside from Keith and Shiro’s relationship theirs was developed by far the most out of anyone on the team during that time). Then, when the fans didn’t jump on board that ship and (at least when Allura was involved) tended to look more toward Lance or Shiro as possible romantic interests for her, they did their usual waffling routine and backed off, sticking a toe into the Shallura pool (the “hand touch” bit in S2 and the seesawing tension between Allura and Kuron) before doing their level best to get Shiro out of the story completely and sticking Allura with Lance instead. Now, I’m not against the trope where the guy has a crush on the girl and the girl at first doesn’t like him but eventually comes around (see Han Solo and Princess Leia for one of my favorite examples of this being done properly), but in this particular instance it feels more like the girl being turned into a plot device and stuck with whatever guy the writers decide doesn’t have enough payoff in the story otherwise. It’s fully possible that, written right, Lance and Allura could have ended up together quite plausibly. But the way it has actually been done—extremely arbitrarily with little development of their relationship or healthy growth of either character—it’s a travesty for both of these wonderful people.

Shiro has been taken from his position as The Leader and The Hero, which he filled far more effectively than Keith (see my Sorting Hat Chats analysis of the characters, as well as below) and been turned into fourth tree from the left (right alongside Coran, Krolia, and Romelle). He’s been given the consolation prize of piloting the ridiculous and totally stupid and unnecessary Atlas, but aside from that he—rather like Allura with her status as Blue Lion pilot—has no other relevance to the story.

Plus (and this is a major bone I have to pick with Monsanto) he was arbitrarily given a magic muscle disease that has never been mentioned or alluded to at any point before S7—and then Word of God revoked its existence in the show’s present time because “he’s technically a clone so he’s magically cured.” Aside from this appalling behind-the-scenes wand-waving being an absolute and total writing mortal sin, it makes absolutely no sense because Keith apparently knew about it and yet made no mention of it for six seasons, even when his friend, who apparently needed magical wristbands to keep him healthy, was in an alien prison for a year with no treatment. Shiro should be a total decrepit wreck in 1x01 after going that long without proper treatment. Yet he’s not only fine, he’s able to engage in hand-to-hand combat with five enemies less than two days after escaping (see the 1x01 fight in the cruiser hangar). This is deus ex machina at its absolute and total worst.

And… okay, I’m going to really rant for a bit. Buckle up, buttercups, it’s about to get messy.

So down to brass tacks: Shiro and Adam’s relationship. I don't care if you want to view it as romantic or platonic. Any way you slice it, portraying this relationship as loving, affectionate, and admirable in canon or fandom is an insult to anyone who has loved ones willingly going into danger or away from home for long periods of time—astronauts, military members, law enforcement, firefighters, pilots, sailors, students studying abroad, missionaries and social workers in foreign countries, heck, let's throw in a good chunk of scientists for good measure, as well as the canon characters Colleen and Katie Holt, the McClain and Garrett families, and Mr. Kogane. And that's just the first ones that come to my mind. There are many, many others.

Let’s take a look first at exactly what was involved in the infamous “don’t count on me being here” scene. Shiro has some weird disease that means his health is going to decline in a few more years (see the bone picking above). Despite protests from higher-ups (which, this being a military organization, an admiral saying that a lieutenant cannot/should not participate in a mission should have utterly slammed the door on even the possibility of Shiro going), Shiro has decided to go on the Kerberos mission. Back in 1x05 Sam Holt referred to being in space for “the next two months”. Because Pidge, normally a very accurate scientist, said “it takes months for our ships to get out here” in 1x01 when passing Kerberos, I’m going to give Sam the benefit of the doubt and assume the “two months” is referring to the trip to Kerberos only. So, two months there, two months back, probably no more than two weeks exploring (this is to a degree a token voyage, after all; presumably after its success more rigorous explorations would be conducted). So I’ll give it a generous total time of five months, at most. Five months. Foreign exchange students are gone from home longer than that. And, considering the amount of contact modern astronauts are able to have with people back on Earth, I highly doubt the Kerberos guys were radio silent during their trip. And despite his apparent muscle problem there are no health ramifications for Shiro going on the mission (as in, going won’t make his condition worse). So we’re looking at five months of long-distance relationship, essentially. This is way, way better than many people with loved ones in, say, the military get.

Now, "Don't count on me being here when you get back"—this is emotional manipulation, plain and simple, using threats to the relationship as leverage to get what the speaker wants out of the other person. It is almost identical to saying "if you do X I'll never speak to you again" or "if you do X I'll break up with you", a common verbal threat tactic in abusive relationships. I have a good friend who was in a relationship like this, and the ugliness of that breakup has ramifications even years later, both socially and in my friend's mental well-being. I also knew other people in (non-romantic) friendships with somebody who used similar types of phrases and manipulation to get them to do what she wanted. The strain ultimately tore apart the friend group. These sorts of phrases and tactics are red flags of the highest degree and indicate a relationship that is in no way, shape, or form healthy.

So. Adam doesn't want Shiro to leave for the five-month trip, ostensibly for Shiro's health. But we have no indication that the Kerberos Mission poses any sort of risk to Shiro's health, preexisting medical conditions included. Which means what's really at stake here is Adam just doesn't want Shiro to go and is using any possible reason or tactic, no matter how flimsy or manipulative, to push that goal. This is horribly self-centered and appears to be based entirely in a selfish desire to have Shiro around as much as possible for as long as possible without any consideration for Shiro's desires and dreams (it's made pretty clear that the Garrison, space exploration, and the Kerberos Mission have been Shiro’s dream and goal for years if not his whole life). To even consider this as anything less than selfish possessiveness is dangerous and downright insulting to Shiro, as well as to every single person who has loved ones gone for long periods of time and/or in dangerous circumstances.

Net result: no matter how you read Shiro and Adam's relationship, we should all be glad that Shiro GOT OUT.

(And relationship drama is possibly one of the oldest, cheapest methods for easy plot tension out there. It requires little to no effort on the part of the writer and can create lots of drama without anybody getting developed, just lots of “but you said you loved me!” type stuff ad nauseam. The families of the other paladins have gotten developed, or at the very least been given cameos; why not, instead of using a cheap relationship trick to give fourth-tree-from-the-left Shiro any sort of interest in S7 at all, give us some background info on him? All we know about him is that he worked for the Garrison. We know nothing about his parents, if he has any siblings… we could have gotten so much more, and yet the writers stuck us with this idiotic hogwash.)

Okay, mini-mega-rant over. Moving on…

Keith’s been strongarmed into a leadership role for which he is painfully not suited. To make this square-peg-in-round-hole setup work the writers have copy-pasted a good chunk of Shiro’s personality on top of the erstwhile lone wolf, turning Keith into a schizophrenic who oscillates wildly between inspiring noble leader and the shy, blunt, anger-prone guy we all came to love in the first two seasons. (That is not to say Keith is incapable of being a good leader; see aforementioned Sorting Hat Chats analysis. But this is not the way to get Keith to be a good leader.) To prevent this poor jerry-rigged human from being completely outshone, Shiro has, as I said before, been stripped of almost all personality and pushed as far back into the scenery as possible without disappearing entirely (and Monsanto has outright said they think he’s dumb and boring and wanted to get rid of him. But they were afraid of fan backlash when, for some weird reason, the fans actually liked him. So they didn’t kill him off and opted instead to be their usual spineless chicken selves and not pick a plotline, nominally keeping him around while making Shiro pretty much useless).

Lance is being made to operate as “Voltron’s right hand,” which runs counter to the lore established in S1 and 2 and, thanks to Keith’s writer-induced schizophrenia, means he’s actually leading Voltron by proxy because Keith has latched onto him as the strategist and moral compass (when Keith’s “Shiro personality” isn’t coming out). This has locked Lance into a particular role, when he actually operates best shifting to fit whatever role the situation calls for (again, see the Sorting Hat Chats analysis for more on this). The poor guy is really starting to come across as dragged over the coals and put on the rack; he’s take an awful beating at the hands of the writers and is worn down and damaged with no sign of relief. He seems to be getting Allura as a consolation prize, but as I said before this is a disservice to both of these characters and really just throws Lance’s suffering in his face.

Hunk and Pidge have largely been left by the wayside. Hunk was barely a step up from joining the line of trees in the first place, as the balmera arc was the only place he really shone (he’s had a few bits in episodes here and there, maybe—maybe—once a season, but more as a “look, we haven’t forgotten he exists!” thing than any sort of real character development). And Pidge, once she completed her “find my family” arc, faded into the background right along with Hunk. She tends to be a smidge more prominent than he does, if only because she’s the computer geek—and because she’s the team’s other girl, since Monsanto is all over that doggone “representation” bandwagon—but she’s largely served her purpose and now is simply the tech whiz plot device.

And… oh, good Lord. Don’t even get me started on the rest of the cast. Coran has never gotten a huge amount of development, but to be fair he’s always kind of been a goofy Alfred so it makes sense that we wouldn’t peel back his layers too much. He’s nominally interesting but largely there to help the other characters do their thing. But all the Holts have pretty much just been pawns in Pidge’s arc—we’ve seen so little of Matt Holt as to have no real idea of his personality at all (most of what we “know” is actually fandom-developed), and although Sam proved useful for the “return to Earth” bit he’s only gotten a little more development than his son. Krolia too was pretty much just a plot device for Keith’s arc and finding the Altean colony; since then she’s just disappeared into the scenery to become second tree from the left. Romelle has earned true MacGuffin status, as the literal only thing she has done for the story is reveal Lotor’s treachery (despite the fact that she, along with Krolia, is a powerpack of a character and could probably take down the empire single-handed if given the opportunity).

Plus the villains have been shortchanged along with everyone else. Part of the reason, I think, so many people loved Lotor as a bad guy was because he actually had a pretty good motive and a well-developed personality. He was a whole person. Zarkon kinda was, a bit, since he was obsessed with the Black Lion and that at least gave him some sort of drive. But Haggar? Who, by the way, we haven’t seen since S6? Sendak? Pshh, please. Why on earth would Monsanto bother to give the bad guys motivation and personality? That would distract from Keith’s leadership arc, and Allurance! And—and space wolf! And explosions! And look, Voltron has a new power, so don’t look at the man behind the curtain through the plot holes you could drag a planet through!

I am so done with all this nonsense. So I’m going to go fix everything with fanfiction. Bye.

P.S. “Monsanto” is my admittedly derogatory version of “Monsantos”, the contraction I’ve often seen used to refer to Lauren Montgomery and Joaquim Dos Santos, the executive producers and master-not-minds of VLD.

#vld #voltron #shiro #allura #keith #lance #hunk #pidge #season 7

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fatedreamt-blog · 6 years ago

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this is a meta about leaf and her relationships, love life, and general perception of romance in general. it’s gonna be divided into sections to make it easier, and i’ll warn for content in each one, but as a heads up, it’s gonna contain talk about her relationship with kiyoshi ( cw for emotionally manipulative behavior, a general abusive/toxic relationship ), how her view on romance changed after that, what she wants in a relationship vs what she needs ( cw for talk about possessive and obsessive behavior, not on leaf’s end though ), what she’s like in a relationship, and how her dependent personality disorder affects said relationship.

i’ll be touching upon overprotective parents and mental illness as well, but they’ll most likely be mentioned more than anything else. more in depth content warnings will be given before each section.

1. PREFACE 2. RELATIONSHIP WITH KIYOSHI. 3. AFTERMATH. 4. WHAT SHE WANTS IN A RELATIONSHIP. 5. WHAT SHE NEEDS IN A RELATIONSHIP. 6. WHAT SHE’S LIKE IN A RELATIONSHIP. 7. HOW DPD AFFECTS HER RELATIONSHIPS. 8. CONCLUSION.

1. PREFACE. ( cw: none. )

as a general rule, i’m not trying to romanticize anything leaf does or thinks and i’ll be putting this in where it applies - i.e section 4. any unhealthy behaviors she wants or has are just that - unhealthy, and i’ll be addressing it as so.

love means a lot to leaf. this applies for platonic, but romantic love is especially important to her. she was pretty much devoid of intimacy and affection growing up, which made falling in love kiyoshi incredibly easy, but i’ll be talking about that in the next section. it’s not only a core part of her, as it’s arguably the thing she seeks the most, but it’s also a core part of her character. love, and her relationship with kiyoshi, has changed her significantly. in a way, after their relationship, it made leaf a lot more soft and ready to chase the feel - good emotion that their relationship gave her, but it also made her a lot more bitter and cynical. it led to severe trust and abandonment issues, it led to her developing a facade and changing parts of her personality just so people won’t leave, it led to a lot of things that i’ll go in more depth in later. basically? love and her perception of it play big roles in her story.

2. RELATIONSHIP WITH KIYOSHI. ( cw: unhealthy/abusive relationships, emotional manipulation, infidelity / cheating, emotional dependency )

kiyoshi fujioka is 17 when he and leaf meet, with him being a year older than her. he takes interest, as a budding novelist, because he finds her absolutely interesting. he finds the way she talks, the way she moves, the way she is as a person so life - like, a person he’d want to read about and, more importantly, the type of person he would want to write about. he woos her with flowers and affection, pretends as if he’s absolutely enamored with her for the past couple of years. they’re both 2nd years in high school and went to the same junior high. kiyoshi is popular, attractive, and smart, which catches leaf absolutely off guard when he confesses. she’s never been shown this kind of attention or affection, growing up in an emotionally vacant household, and she falls for him immediately. no one has ever shown her this kind of interest or love ever, especially someone attractive and sweet, and she falls for the way he seems so sugar sweet. she adores him, and clings onto him hard.

a year into their relationship, kiyoshi decides that having leaf follow him around like a lovesick puppy isn’t enough. he won’t be able to write her character properly if she’s just put in the same scenarios. so, he begins to toy with her emotions. he no longer is affectionate in private. any and all intimacy is public, leading others to believe that their relationship is normal. any and all gifts he gives her are gifts that allow others to know she’s in a relationship - i.e jewelry and the like. he begins to show more of his true colors and has their relationship be merely a public one. at home, he’s unresponsive to her affection. his texts are kept short. the only dates they go on are in public spaces. she has to ask, borderline beg for affection when it’s just the two of them. their relationship is inconsistent, and the fact that kiyoshi is so unresponsive makes leaf feel guilty and as if she’s the one at fault. she does anything she can to remedy the relationship, begins to revolve her entire life around him, does anything she can to make him love her like he did prior.

it starts to get worse. he notices her attempts and takes note of it. he begins to make it known that he’s starting to lose interest - not that he was ever interested in the first place. he flakes out on dates without telling her, he teases her for things he knows she’s sensitive about, he comes to leaf knowing that he’s covered in hickeys and kiss marks and he’s almost... proud of it? it comes off as that, anyways. he makes it very clear he has no interest in her.

leaf has never been in a relationship before. she thinks this is okay, she loves kiyoshi, she can’t imagine life without him. she’s grown so emotionally dependent on him that her feelings revolve around what he thinks of her that day, how he responds to her, she can’t imagine ever leaving him. they’ve already talked about weddings and kids, and she can’t bear to leave of her own accord. so, she stays.

they break up on the 7th of feburary on their 2nd year anniversary. he comes to her house and instead of bringing flowers and cuddling like last year, he tells her everything. he says it plainly and tells her he never was really in love with her and that he was simply using her to write a character. he says it with so much apathy, no apologeticness behind his words, and leaves right after. leaf sobs and sobs, and doesn’t leave her house much afterwards and begins to get behind on schoolwork.

she’s 18 when they break up. it’s the 1st valentine’s day in 2 years she spends alone.

3. AFTERMATH. ( cw: talk about unhealthy relationships, basically every cw from section 2 applies, but it’s only brief mentions, desire of an abusive ex, self - blame for abuse, mention of murder and death )

leaf... spends a lot of time sobbing. her boyfriend of 2 years, who she’s talked about children and weddings and basically spending their lives together with, who she thought wholeheartedly loved her, admitted that he never really loved her. it takes a long time for her to process this, and while her hopeless romantic side grows, desperate for an actual relationship, an actual future and a person who actually loves her, her bitter, cynical side also grows. she begins to grow distrustful and that anyone who actually has interest in her is lying. this... causes her to be very closed off and guarded towards dates or significant others. she’ll still try to appeal to them, but once they actually enter a relationship, she’s completely emotionally closed off. in the sense that she won’t talk about her past or negative feelings.

she... has mixed feelings about kiyoshi. sometimes, she wants him back and if he ever wants to date again, she’d say yes. she still has his number just in case. sometimes, she’s... very bitter and recognizes that it was an unhealthy relationship and will express this anger. sometimes, she believes that it’s her fault and that she should’ve tried harder to appeal to him because at least he would stay. sometimes, she’s only a couple words away from messaging him. it’s... very complicated. her opinions on him change frequently. kiyoshi fujioka is not a good person, but leaf fails to realize that because she was truly in love with him. he was her first love, but she wasn’t his.

in blog canon, kiyoshi is still alive. leaf... doesn’t see him a lot because he travels, fortunately. in some verses, he’s dead, murdered by her now ex - fiance urso and haunts leaf from time to time. it’s verse dependent what kind of comeuppance he gets and when.

would leaf want to pursue a relationship with him again? it really depends. once again, her feelings on him fluctuate heavily. she would never ask him first, though.

4. WHAT SHE WANTS IN A RELATIONSHIP. ( cw: talk of kiyoshi’s relationship, so above cws count but as mentions, possessive and obsessive behavior not on leaf’s part, romanticization of extreme possessive and obsessive behavior as leaf’s thoughts )

what she values above anything else is honesty and stability. her relationship with kiyoshi was an entire lie, so she wants to know the other really loves her. she wants them to be honest with her, because when they’re not, she begins to believe that they may be lying about loving her as well. her relationship with kiyoshi was very... unstable and confusing. the 1st year was fine, as it was mostly a healthy relationship, but the months after that were awful. leaf didn’t know if and when he loved her, and he so often switched between paying no attention to her at all to treating her like royalty. she wants a stable relationship without much sudden change. and all of these are fine! but... it’s the following that starts to get a little dicey.

because kiyoshi turned out to be faking all of it, she can’t... really trust when people give her the attention and affection that you would usually give in a relationship just because kiyoshi did the same and he ended up not actually loving her. she wants someone to obsess over her, to show her that she’s their entire world, that they can’t bear to live without her, because that’s the only way her brain would be convinced that they actually do love her. the possession is the same way. she likes feeling that she’s someone’s, that they want her around as much as she does. leaf gets incredibly attached to people very easily, which i’ll talk about later, and often doesn’t think that her significant others are in love with her as much she is with them. it’s this possessive, obsessive behavior that convinces her otherwise. along with that, she adores people who are protective over her. who will murder and hurt for her. something about how they would do anything for her out of all people once again, validates that they love her as much as she loves them. if you behave like this towards her, she’ll immediately form an opinion of “i’m never going to leave this person ever.” she’ll downright excuse any bad actions her partner has done and love them unconditionally.

this fantasy of having someone obsess over her is something that she does a lot for coping reasons. she likes thinking about having someone be possessive over just because it’s not something kiyoshi ever did, and having the protectiveness is something that she believes exemplifies the honest, stable relationship she wants.

leaf frequently seeks out anyone who has their life together - people that are stable financially and emotionally. it’s hard to put this in words, but basically, she doesn’t want to take responsibility of her own life. an ideal situation in her eyes would be a relationship where the other person decides everything for her and she won’t have to take responsibility for her own life. this... isn’t great, and she realizes it’s unrealistic, but it’s something she’d greatly want.

is it possible for her to have a healthy, serious, long - term relationship without any of these things? absolutely! of course, if she wants it to be long - term, she would need to confront why she wants possessive and obsessive behavior, as well as think about it more and the consequences of it. these... are things that she would have to come to terms with during therapy. in one of her main ships, she achieves this with her fiance caden, and going to therapy with him has helped her realize that the things she wants are because of her trauma.

for now, though, these are things that she wants.

5. WHAT SHE NEEDS IN A RELATIONSHIP. ( cw: mention of the things in section 2 and section 4 )

ideally, what she needs is stability and honesty. these are things she already wants, thankfully. as said before, she needs it to calm down her own anxieties, and instability / a fluctuating relationship and her significant other lying constantly to her is just gonna remind her of kiyoshi’s relationship, which... won’t bode well with her.

she also needs someone persistent and stubborn and blunt. someone who will tell her that hey, the things you are thinking and the things you want are unhealthy. someone who will persist and persist. she also needs someone who will be there for her and will help her through not great days, obviously.

she also needs someone who can be patient with her. she’s... very stubborn and won’t listen to people, or she’ll deflect any sort of ‘you need to get help’ with an excuse or an explanation. she needs someone who is willing to sit down with her and help her go through these things.

really, she just needs someone who will be honest, stable, blunt, and persistent.

6. WHAT SHE’S LIKE IN A RELATIONSHIP. ( cw: brief mention of mental illness )

leaf... falls in love with people very easily. her relationships are often very short - lived because she rushes into them a lot. she attaches herself to anyone who’s nice to her and immediately labels them as someone she’s interested in. this usually fades away after a couple of hours, but if they keep talking to her and if they keep showing up, she’ll start to think about dating them.

if she does date them, she’ll be very sweet and kind. she’ll appeal to her date and change... pretty much everything about herself to appease them. leaf will do anything to have them stay and consider dating them. she thinks every failed date is her fault, and not simply just two people not connecting.

however, when she does start to date someone, and it’s clear it’ll be a serious relationship, she gets very emotionally closed off. of course, she’ll be the same as she was on the first couple of dates and keep appealing to them and changing herself for them, but emotionally? she won’t open up. she’ll lie about negative feelings ( which are very prevalent for her ), rarely talk about herself, and center the relationship entirely on the other person. it’s what she’s used to doing, and she’s also what she thinks will have the other person stay.

leaf is also terrified of being clingy. she naturally is, but because she’s so scared of coming off as desperate, she’ll often become distant. she won’t initiate conversation most of the time because she’s scared of coming off as needy or annoying. leaf also is very stubborn with her partners in fear of bothering them. she’s... very passive in a relationship because she doesn’t want the other to think any negative thoughts about her and tries excessively to avoid that.

if she somehow falls out of love / loses interest, the relationship becomes distant / not great, or she’s unhappy in a relationship, she won’t acknowledge it. it’s highly unlikely that she will ever fall out of love and will continue to try and make her significant other like her and stay. if the relationship ends, it’s because the other person ended it. it’s unlikely than she’ll ever actually initiate a break up with someone.

leaf excuses her partner’s actions a lot. they could do the worst, and she’d still act like they did nothing wrong. if the relationship turns sour, she will blame herself and try and change for her partner. she is so utterly in love with the other person that she can and will do absolutely anything and everything for them.

besides that, though, she is, however, incredibly sweet and caring. she’ll knit you sweaters and name / grow plants after you. she thinks of her significant other constantly and is absolutely head over heels. she’ll do anything for her partner, really. once she gets to a point where she feels as if she can trust you and that you’re honest about her love with her, she’ll go to you for help. she’ll fall in love with you more and more every day. she’s a good girlfriend most of the time, it’s just the problem of coming off as an annoyance to her significant other that’s her problem. if you manage to convince her she’s not, though, she will constantly be chatty. more than usual, anyways, because she still fears coming off as irritating, but she’ll initiate conversation more.

she gets easily flustered, especially with pda. a big thing with her is her letting you hold her hand. her hands are ugly to her - they’re burnt, bruised, cut, basically just in bad shape, and if she lets you hold her hands, it means she trusts you. she values and appreciates intimacy and can be very affectionate. she’s similar to a cat in the way that she’ll just... lay on you. leaf likes playing with her partner’s hair a lot and just in general being close to them. she does do her best for them.

7. HOW DPD AFFECTS HER RELATIONSHIPS. ( cw: mental illness, obviously, emotional dependency, controlling / overprotective parents, mother in specifics )

this is an entire meta by itself, so i’m just gonna very briefly go over the criteria and symptoms and then relate them to leaf’s romantic relationships. eventually, i’ll make a meta exclusively focusing on leaf’s dpd ( and probably her bpd as well ), but for now, here’s a very quick overview. i’ll be relying on the dsm-5 for this!

dependent personality disorder, abbreviated as dpd, is a cluster c personality disorder characterized by “a pervasive and excessive need to be taken care of that leads to submissive and clinging behavior and fears of separation”. the symptoms are the following:

a) difficulty making every day decisions without an excessive amount of advice and reassurance from others b) needs others to assume responsibility for major parts of one’s life c) has difficulty expressing disagreement with others because of fear of loss, support, or approval d) has difficulty initiating projects or doing things on their own due to lack of self confidence e) goes to excessive lengths to obtain nurturance and support from others f) feels uncomfortable or helpless when alone because of exaggerated fears of being unable to take care of themself g) urgently seeks another relationship as a source of support and care when a close one ends h) is unrealistically preoccupied with fears of being left to take care of themself

i’m not an expert on dpd, nor do i have it, so please tell me if i have any incorrect statements!! you need 5 of the above to have dpd, and leaf fits mainly a, c, d, e, g, with b, f, and h occurring sometimes, but not all the time. i’ll talk about this more and how leaf fits into each symptom in a separate meta soon. her dpd stemmed from having an overprotective and strict mother for a majority of her life.

leaf, as stated before, wants someone to take responsibility for her own life. she at least knows it’s unrealistic, but it doesn’t stop her from hoping and wishing. she depends heavily on her significant other and her mood will often fluctuate on how said significant other acts or talks to her.

8. CONCLUSION. ( cw: brief mentions of the above topics and cws! )

leaf’s perception of love is heavily influenced because of her relationship with kiyoshi. her wants and needs, as well as her in future relationships, is because of the trauma she had due to him. ultimately, she wants to have a loving relationship with someone who genuinely cares about her, but because she can’t trust when someone says they actually love her, she craves the absolute extreme, which is possessive and obsessive behavior. her want for intimacy and love is very much so because of her lack of affection her entire life, as well as her relationship with kiyoshi.

with therapy, she’ll get better about all of these - and does, in some verses! - but for now, it’s something she has to work on.

in conclusion, i love leaf, and fuck kiyoshi.

#does god stay in heaven because he too fear what he has created? / ooc.#long post #4 my mobile friends #nostalgia is a dirty liar who insists things were better back then. / headcanons: leaf.#SELF CARE IS WRITING A 3K WORD META ABT UR OC!!!!!#would y'all believe me if i say i'm still hesitant abt if i covered everything FHJKSHJGKT #i'm....rlly proud of how this came out honestly i love leaf so much n i'm so glad i finally like #sat down n just spat this out ghskjthg #i love her so mcfuckign Much #I HOPE THIS READS WELL TOO IT'S LIKE 11:30 AND ME REREADING IT WAS JUST ME SKIMMING IT AA #metas.

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