#and here i thought it was because Florida is fucking HOT

[sturnvaleria]

𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝𝐧’𝐭 𝐰𝐚𝐢𝐭? |𝐌.𝐒|

written by sturnvaleria

𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐱𝐭 : you went on a two week vacation with your friends, and you decided to surprise matt early to come home. let’s say you walked into him enjoying your bikini pictures a little too much.

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: hardcore smut, p=v, receiving head and giving, unprotected sex, making out, dirty talk, nicknames (sweetheart, slutty, good girl, princess) 𝟏𝟖+

𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞: this story has your and matthew’s pov. hope you enjoy ;)

.   ݁ ˖ ࣪ . ⋆ * .♡ *:･ﾟ.   ݁ ˖ ࣪ . ⋆ * .♡ *:･ﾟ.   ݁ ˖ ࣪ . .   ݁ ˖ ࣪ . ⋆ * .♡ *

𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐰’𝐬 𝐩𝐨𝐯 :

y/n’s been gone for 2 weeks because she insisted that she have time with her friends alone. and the way the bikini is shoved up in her ass in her instagram pictures makes me hard in an instance.

“fuck,” i groan having my hard, long cock in one hand, and my phone in the other. staring at her perfectly shaped ass.

𝐬𝐡𝐞’𝐬 𝐬𝐨 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐟𝐞𝐜𝐭, i think to myself. 𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐢𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐞?

“oh fuck y/n,” i whimper imagining her perfect mouth sucking on my tip.

she’s so good as sucking on my dick. i missed her perfect, little slutty mouth kissing my hard cock.

“mhm,” i continue to whimper.

i wish she was here.

“com-come?” i ask hoping for an answer. y/n never let me finish first. it was a rule we ALWAYS finished together.

i pre-cummed. it softly rolls down the side of my somewhat now soft dick.

.   ݁ ˖ ࣪ . ⋆ * .♡ *:･ﾟ.   ݁ ˖ ࣪ . ⋆ * .♡ *:･ﾟ.   ݁ ˖ ࣪ . .   ݁ ˖ ࣪ . ⋆ * .♡ *

𝐲/𝐧’𝐬 𝐩𝐨𝐯 :

i finally was back in LA. i had been in cabo with my two best friends, abigail and dana.

i have missed matty so much. i missed the way he smelled, his touch, the way he spoke to me. i just missed him. all of him.

i wanted to surprise matt, due to the fact in our junior year he surprised me when he came back from florida. and i never got to repay him.

i slowly opened the front door, and placed my bags by it. i tip-toed into the small hallway where matt’s bedroom door was.

i open it, making no noise, until i hear a very familiar sound.

“oh fuck y/n,” i hear matthew whimpering.

𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐢𝐬 𝐡𝐞.. i think to myself. is he jerking off thinking about me? awww he’s thinking about me. not the typical way but i’ll take what i can get.

he continues to softly whimper, making my pussy soaked just at the thought of it.

and then he suddenly says, “com-come?” he ask the thin air, and i’m guessing imagining me.

we always finished together. our perfect juices mixing together.

hearing his whimpers and cries, makes me soaked.

after a few more minutes it goes silent, leaving me curious with my thoughts.

i push the door open, and it slowly opens fully. revealing me leaned against the side of the door frame with my arms crossed.

he drops the phone on the bed.

his eyes go to his hard cock to my eyes. his sweats were pulled right below his swollen ball sack.

“couldn’t wait?” i ask sarcastically smirking.

he blushes slightly before his words overcome him. “fuck baby the way the bikini lays in your ass is so hot. the way the bathing suit shows off your perfect curves. makes me so hard,” he says softly adding a whimper to his voice.

“oh really.. i’ve been touching myself thinking of you. rubbing my swollen clit in circles as i think about your cock thrusting into me,” i say softly bring my bottom lip and groaning.

i slowly crawl up to him on the bed, bringing my head right below his, now getting harder, dick.

“mm,” i say kitten licking the dripping pre-cum from the side of his dick. “still taste so yummy,” i moan softly leaving a vibration on his hard cock.

.   ݁ ˖ ࣪ . ⋆ * .♡ *:･ﾟ.   ݁ ˖ ࣪ . ⋆ * .♡ *:･ﾟ.   ݁ ˖ ࣪ . .   ݁ ˖ ࣪ . ⋆ * .♡ *

𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐰’𝐬 𝐩𝐨𝐯 𝐩𝐭.𝟐 :

fuck. the way she looks at me makes my body want to explode with my salty cum.

“fuck baby,” she says picking up my dick as my head throws back.

she examines it for a second with lust in her eyes, before immediately shoving it in her mouth.

“oh, princess,” i whimper softly as i collect all of her hair holding it in a pony-like way.

i guide her mouth slowly helping her bob it up and down on my long cock.

“i’m about to-“ i say as she rises of of me.

she spits on it before climbing on top of me. her still in her thin biker shorts and t-shirt.

she raises her arms and i pull of her shirt. leaving her pink laced bra and perfectly covered up titties.

she dry humps my hard, exposed dick. leaving me there hopeless as she grinds on me.

“please fuck me, love. i need your perfect tight pussy,” he moans softly in my ear.

“patience, baby, patience,” she smirk against my skin. leaving a surprisingly shiver of pleasure throughout my body.

i couldn’t wait anymore i roll over, ripping down her biker shorts, and accidentally her soaked panties go with them.

i climb fully on top of her, wrapping my arms around her back and unbuckle her bra. pulling it off. her perfect titties bounce out leaving me speechless.

.   ݁ ˖ ࣪ . ⋆ * .♡ *:･ﾟ.   ݁ ˖ ࣪ . ⋆ * .♡ *:･ﾟ.   ݁ ˖ ࣪ . .   ݁ ˖ ࣪ . ⋆ * .♡ *

𝐲/𝐧’𝐬 𝐩𝐨𝐯 𝐩𝐭𝟐 :

“fuck, baby,” i moan as matthew takes his warm perfectly textured tongue and slides it across my nipples.

immediately bringing me to whimpers of pleasure.

“i’m going to fuck you, hard,” he says smirking as he slowly goes down on me. leaving trails of his warm saliva down my stomach.

“mhm,” i moan nodding to his hot sentence.

he makes his way between my thighs. kissing them, slowly making his way to my warm, wet pussy.

“so fucking wet, for me. good girl,” he says kissing my swollen clit. making me moan loudly.

i throw my head back and take my fingers to his scalp. rubbing my fingers through his perfect hair.

he licks my entrance, slightly sticking his tongue inside of me.

he moves his tongue in circles around my clit. licking the inside of lips. making my body build up my cum.

“baby im- cum?” i ask whimpering softly, looking down at him.

“not without me!” he says stopping immediately and shoving himself inside of me.

“fuck!” i moan as it comes out of a surprise.

he thrust his hard cock in and out of my tight pussy. brings me to a sensation i’ve never felt.

“your so tight, princess,” he groans in pleasure.

he always compliments me during sex. he makes it a perfect experience.

i whimper, “baby!” i moan throwing my head back, before he takes the bottom of my jaw and re-guiding it to face him.

“look at me baby,” he says as his hot, sweaty body pumps into me like there’s no tomorrow.

“you’re taking it like such a good girl,” he says rising up to kiss me.

“matty! i’m about to cum,” i yell out, squinting my eyes.

“me too,” he says taking his last few pumps, before i feel his warm cum fill me up.

almost immediately after my creampie covers his now soft, twitching dick.

“fuck.. you’re always so good, love” he says practically laying on top of me.

“i love you,” he says softly out of breath.

“i love you..” i say back taking my hand and rubbing it though his tangled up hair.

.   ݁ ˖ ࣪ . ⋆ * .♡ *:･ﾟ.   ݁ ˖ ࣪ . ⋆ * .♡ *:･ﾟ.   ݁ ˖ ࣪ . .   ݁ ˖ ࣪ . ⋆ * .♡ *

i hope you enjoyed reading this. it took 2 hours !!!!!

love, val <3

[barcaatthemoon]

playgirl || alanna kennedy x reader ||

you find alanna charming, albeit a bit infuriating.

minors dni, 18+, smut.

alanna was infuriating to lose against. city thoroughly destroyed united in the first derby of the season, and you were seething because of it. a start was huge for alanna, and while you wanted to be happy for her, you couldn't stand her. every single time that you looked at her, you wanted to punch the smug smirk off of her face.

"so babe, is it your place or mine?" alanna asked as she draped her arm around your shoulders. you had taken a shower in a vain attempt to calm yourself down. now that alanna was so close you with her stupid six pack on display with her crop top, you couldn't deny the feelings of desire you had for her.

"how fucking dense are you? why would i want to go back with you after you spent the last hour taunting me on the pitch?" you asked her. alanna had to admit that she had been a bit of a dick on the pitch, but she felt good with how easy the game was going for city. it wouldn't have been nearly such a walk in the park last season, despite everybody's best efforts.

"because i've got a solid seven inches with your name on it," alanna said. your jaw dropped, but you quickly turned away so that alanna couldn't see the blush on your cheeks. "come on baby, let me help you forget that you just got your ass handed to you."

"charming kennedy, you know just how to make a girl blush." you slapped alanna's shoulder as you moved past her.

"i'll meet you at yours then!" alanna called out after you.

alanna had been over hundreds of times, but you were still feeling nervous as you waited for her. it didn't mean anything to alanna, a point that she had worked hard to hammer in over the course of the last couple of seasons. you guys were having fun, and alanna was the very definition of a player. she came over for a good time, not a long one.

the hookups had been going on for a long time. much longer than alanna said she ever allowed in the beginning. a part of you wondered whether or not she did actually like you, but you tried not to think too hard on it. either she'd make a move or one of you would move on the next person, and your money was always on her leaving you.

you shook those thoughts out of your head as you heard her knock on your door. alanna didn't like to be kept waiting, so you quickly checked over your outfit before you opened up the door. you were far from dressed up, but you had put some thought into your choice of shorts and tank top.

"fuck me, you're hot. i mean jesus christ babe." alanna looked like she was at a loss for words, and yet, she found a way to say the same sentiment over and over again. "god, you're so fucking hot sometimes. come here, i'm not waiting any longer."

alanna let you lead her back to your bedroom with one hand wrapped around her wrist. it wasn't holding hands, something that alanna was pretty careful to avoid with you. she toed the line between girlfriend and fuck buddy recklessly, almost like she was trying to keep you second guessing.

"cute shorts, but they're in my way." alanna wasn't wasting any time with you. she had you out of your clothes before you managed to get to your bed. you felt a bit underdressed with alanna standing there still in her sweatpants and tank top, but she didn't give you much of a chance to think once you were laying down.

every so often, you got shades of the player that alanna had been back in florida. she liked to tease you in a way that was deeply unsatisfying. it was far from unenjoyable, but both you and alanna knew that you'd never cum from it. she wanted you wet enough to make a mess of yourself, and alanna never stopped until she was done.

"alanna please, i need more than this. i need you, please," you tried, but it seemed like no use. alanna didn't let up as she kissed and sucked at your cunt. your hands fisted themselves into her hair in a vain attept to pull her closer. alanna just snickered as she pushed herself up onto her elbows and stared down at you.

"poor little thing, do you need me to fuck you?" alanna asked. you didn't have to answer as alanna began to sit up and move. she didn't even get completely off of the bed to take her sweatpants off, letting them just hang just low enough for her to pull out the strap she had worn over. "do you think you can take this after the game?"

"yes, lan, just fuck me," you told her. alanna nudged your legs fully apart and guided the tip of her dildo towards your entrance. alanna gave you a few teasing strokes as she watched to make sure that you were ready to take her. you bucked your hips to try and chase after her, more than prepared to take every inch of her.

"fuck baby, does that feel good? you look so pretty taking my cock," alanna said as she started to set her pace. she didn't look away from her cunt for a moment, not even as she spoke to you. your eyes drifted down to watch as she thrust in and out of you, more and more of her strap disappearing inside of you as your body grew accustomed to it.

this wasn't the same dildo that you had gotten used to over the past couple of seasons playing against each other. alanna had gone out and bought a new one, just a few inches longer, but quite a bit thicker than what you were used to. she was practically drooling as she watched the way that you stretched to grip her tightly. you could have been fooled into thinking that she was feeling everything from the look on her face as she watched you getting fucked.

"here," you mumbled as you reached for her. alanna let you tug her down for a kiss. it was messy and your teeth knocked together a little as she continued to thrust into you. still, you didn't let up, even as you found it difficult to keep your mouth on hers. alanna refused to let up one bit, not until she was certain that you were cumming around her strap.

"hey, where are you going?" alanna asked as she watched you. she was still on top of you, just watching as you began to drift away. it was hard to keep yourself focused on anything, including her. alanna pouted until you looked her way and smiled at you. "everything okay?"

"perfect," you told her. alanna leaned down and pressed a kiss to your forehead as she rolled off of you. "hey, don't run out on me. i thought we weren't doing that anymore."

"i'm not running out, i'm just stretching my legs a bit," alanna told you. a part of you didn't believe her, but alanna never made it any further than your living room. you were close to drifting off to sleep when she came back several minutes later, dressed back in her sweatpants and tank top. "see? i'm still right here."

"yes, but i'd like you in bed with me." you sat up on your elbows and stared at her until she came over towards you. alanna sat on the edge of your bed next to where you laid down. "are you too cool to cuddle with me?"

"do i have to keep my hands to myself?" alanna asked.

"when do you ever?" it was a fair question, and apparently exactly what alanna wanted to hear. she let you pull her down onto the bed, nuzzling her face into your chest as she got comfortable. you knew that she'd be gone by the morning, but at least she'd stay until you fell asleep.

[armpirate]

Anti-romantic || JJk | Ch. 26

Pairings: Boxer!Jungkook x fem!reader || Enemies to lovers, neighbors

Genre: smut, angst, fluff, curse, illegal boxing, violence

Warnings: fuckboy!Jungkook x reader, smut, dirty talk, curse, mention of tarot and fate

Summary: Jungkook had always been carefree when it came to love. He always believed he was worth sharing himself with everyone, and thought it was selfish of him to ever think of keeping himself exclusive to just one person.

And maybe that was exactly what got him into the big problem he was in.

A curse that kept him away from love didn't seem an issue for him. The fact that his ex-girlfriend thought he'd be affected by the idea of the girls he slept with running away from him after sex was ridiculous. She actually did him a favor, and took a burden away from him.

At least that was what he thought at first.

He had never found himself thinking of the possibility of repeating with neither of his hook ups, because they disappeared before he was able to even think about it. But when he makes the mistake of sleeping with the sexy neighbor that lives in front of him, he finds himself hoping to get the chance for a second round every time their paths cross.

Y/n hated him the second he set foot inside the building by the way he started making her life a miserable mess for no reason. Sleeping with him was a big mistake she wasn't thinking of repeating. At least not until he came up with the excuse that she rejected him for a curse. Not only she thought he was annoying, but she was also convinced he was crazy. 

There was no way she could take him seriously.

Aprox. time of reading: 19 minutes

Previous || Next

MASTERLIST

Y/n lifted her head when she managed to see a blank sheet of paper falling next to her notebook, finding Alma with a smile as soon as her eyes were on her.

—What's this? —she smiled, picking up the envelope to open it.

—I'm getting married —she excitedly informed.

—Oh my god. Really? Congratulations!

Unable to hide her excitement for her colleague, Y/n got up from her chair to hug her tight, moving her arms under her curly locks. It was so out of character for her, yet she felt so comfortable with that display of affection... And there was no point in denying that what had been happening the past few days had nothing to do with it.

—I didn't invite you earlier because we weren't really close, but I'd really like to see you there —Alma admitted, stepping back—. Donna and Jackie are also coming, and I think some other people here as well.

—I'll be there without a doubt —she assured her.

—And you can also bring that hot neighbor of yours.

When Y/n dared to look away from the invitation to look at her colleague, Alma was giving her a malicious smile while she winked at her.

Free drinks, free food... Jungkook would definitely love that.

—I'll think about that.

—I'll let you work again —her thumb caressed her forearm—. I'll see you for lunch?

—Sure! —fuck... Jason— Wait, no. I can't.

—Lil' date with that cutie? —as much as Y/n attempted to deny it, she knew her colleague would just pretend to believe it while walking away— See you later, then!

It had been months since she saw Jason for the last time before he moved to Florida to work as an estate agent in a company, after being promoted in the branch office in Chicago. He was one of the biggest supporters she had when Noah passed away, and he still was -although he wasn't as present as before, and she couldn't blame him, life went on for everyone.

Her steps slowly paused as she started walking down the stairs to the entrance to wait for Jason there, seeing that same black motorbike she was a little too familiar with.

If those three days had worked for something for Jungkook, it was to make him dependable on Y/n. His mind kept getting busier with thoughts related to her, and he went past that phase of sending dumb messages to wait for her answer thirty minutes later.

He was a man of action.

Well, that... and the fact that Jimin got so tired of speaking to himself that he ended up coming up with the idea of taking her to have lunch.

It was so stupid, yet at the same time it made sense for him how, after spending so much time with her, he got used to being around Y/n. And far from being bothered by her presence, he was upset at the lack of it whenever they were apart.

And that was exactly why he was waiting in front of her workplace, seeing her coming out the building as if she had read his mind.

They were connected.

Jungkook took off his helmet, holding it on his lap with his left hand while he tried to push his bangs back with his right hand. Her presence, as always, captivated him. She was wearing a white turtleneck sweater that fitted her body perfectly, embracing it almost like a second skin. His gaze moved down to the black A-line skirt she was wearing, which had a delicate white grid pattern. As he looked down at the way it flared slightly at her knees, he noticed a pair of black, over-the-knee boots that looked way too good on her to be real.

—3A.

But he wasn't able to say much more, because she spoke as soon as she was close enough to be able to speak to him in a normal tone.

—What are you doing here? —she asked, confused, looking at the other helmet he was carrying around his right forearm.

—Let's go somewhere for lunch —he suggested—. I know of a good brasserie around.

—Kook, I can't today. I already had plans.

He wanted to ignore how upset he felt about her words, but he couldn't even try to pretend he wasn't affected.

—Oh, were you going out with your colleagues?

—No, actually...

—Y/n!

When he looked back at the owner of that voice, he found a tall and lean man, with a presence that was hard to ignore as he approached them with a wide smile. His dark hair was casually tousled, not even being messed up by the soft breeze hitting them, looking effortlessly stylish. His white, textured shirt that was open at the collar, was revealing a hint of a chiseled chest.

And the second he approached them enough so Jungkook could be able to pick up all the flaws he could, just to be punched with the calm confidence his faint smile radiated while his arms wrapped around Y/n with a hug.

His moment was stolen, her attention was on someone else. He was second place... and he hated being left in second place.

—Are you busy?

—No, I was just speaking to a friend —Y/n commented, pointing at Jungkook.

—Hey, what's up? —the boy, who seemed to be around their age, greeted Jungkook when aware of his presence— I'm Jason —he tried to introduce himself, lifting his hand for a high-five.

Of course that was Jason.

—Jungkook —he simply moved his head for a greet, purposely ignoring his approach—. Are you guys going somewhere?

—We're going to have lunch somewhere around —Jason friendly informed him.

—Great, I was starving. That's what I came here for. Right, Y/n? —Jungkook started yapping, hopping off his motorbike— I was just telling her.

—Yes, you were. But you might be uncomfortable if you come —she tried to persuade him.

—Nah, I adapt well —he ignored her again—. I know of a great brasserie near here. Let's go.

She couldn't believe her eyes when she saw Jungkook leading the way to the restaurant, as if it had been his plan to meet up with the two of them, only receiving a comforting smile and a shrug from her friend.

Not enough with that, he stopped himself and got on purpose in between them every time Jason tried to approach her to tease her for that new friend she had made.

It was no surprise from her to have such a peculiar fling, after her long on-and-off relationship with her ex boyfriend, but this one seemed to take the cake.

Y/n sat first when they arrived, picking up the chair at the extreme right of the table, just because it was the first place she saw.

—I'll sit here —Jungkook rushed to say, stopping Jason from taking the spot next to her.

Although he took the spot right in front of her, Jungkook wasn't sure if that was a better spot or a worse one, since he got to look at Y/n straight in the eyes as they spoke. He was going to be able to hook her soul with his charms, and make her forget he was right at her left, beside her.

—Actually, I want to sit here —Jungkook spoke again, having Y/n dropping her smile.

—Kook, it's the right same thing —she rolled her eyes.

—The air conditioner is hitting you directly, and I'm a bit hot today.

—Then take off your jacket —she demanded in between her teeth, turning to smile at Jason right after.

—I also tend to order more than one beer, and I'm hidden here. The waiter won't see me. And...

—Fine, sit here —Y/n finally gave up, exchanging places with a smiley Jungkook.

That same smile slowly vanished when he started noticing some small details as he watched them speak. She was cornered by him and the wall, giving Jason the perfect angle for her to focus only on him. In the place she was taking before, she at least had the possibility to distract herself with anything else, but not anymore.

—Actually... —he wasn't able to say much more, her hand on his thigh stopped him from moving.

—Jungkook, if you want to keep your legs, sit the fuck down in your place —she whispered, bending over his body so Jason would only be able to hear some incomprehensible mumbles.

He just agreed, accepting his fate while his eyes moved around the restaurant, heart skipping a beat when her hand moved away to her lap while she smiled at that other man in front of him.

—So, how did you meet each other? —Jason asked, as soon as they both were calm.

—We're neighbors —Y/n answered.

—You're so lucky, I don't even know who's living next door where I live —Jason assured them.

—Well, it took us a bit to get here —Jungkook smiled, moving his elbow over the edge of the table—. My wall is proof of it.

—I drilled a hole in his wall because he wouldn't stop being loud —Y/n explained at the confused look from her friend.

—Holy shit, Y/n. A text message is too subtle for you?

—She also ruined clothes by throwing bleach over them. Oh, and never forget how the old lady a few floors up now thinks I'm a sex maniac because of some... hot mail. And, she faked to want peace, only so I'd eat a brownie filled with laxatives.

He didn't know if he was bringing it all up to defend himself, to push a button on Y/n -because he loved it when she was annoyed-, or if he wanted to scare away the man that was looking at them in disbelief.

—Seriously? Don't play innocent. You sneaked yellow tint in my shampoo. I looked like Piolin for three fucking days —her body completely turned to him—. And don't forget how you sent me to the ER after putting spice in my food.

—I didn't know you were intolerant.

—Wait, you're the homicidal? —Jason interrupted— Why didn't you tell me before it was him? —he scoffed, shaking his head.

—Did she talk about me?

Jungkook went deaf, despite him being the one asking the question. He was only aware of her friend's smile as he spoke, and Y/n's shy smile while looking down, while his heart pumped against his chest so hard that he was able to hear it perfectly.

She did talk about him with someone who was close to her.

That thought kept him calm for most of the lunch, ignoring how smiley Y/n looked while speaking to Jason, or how that guy didn't take his eyes away from her, not even when he was eating his roasted chicken. And he even omitted the fact that neither of them aimed at him once throughout their conversation.

Jungkook remained calm and quiet... until he didn't.

Y/n's body immediately reacted to the touch of Jungkook's hand over her boot, right on the small piece of skin her lifted skirt exposed. As soon as she felt his pinky pushing down the edge of the fabric, attempting to move forward before her hand tried to stop him.

It didn't matter how much she tried to fight it, there was no way she would success pushing him away without making it obvious for Jason.

Just like Jungkook, Y/n lost track of the conversation she was holding while his hand moved up, resting his palm on her inner thigh and her smaller finger so close to her panties that she could even feel his touch.

—Jungkook, Y/n told me you're a boxer —Jason tried to drive him back to their conversation.

Although some of the bruises on his reverse, and the light wounds on his knuckles gave out how he, at least, practiced it.

—I am —he answered proudly—. Actually, I'm a pretty successful entrepreneur.

Y/n wanted to scoff at that comment, but holding back her skin from burning, so she wouldn't start feeling uncomfortable with her clothes, kept her way too busy.

—I own a gym —he remarked again—. Although I love taking control of what goes on there, so I work like any other employee would.

And because there was no other employee other than him and Jimin, and his friend didn't do anything else other than taking control of the administration of the place.

—I did boxing, but it wasn't my thing —Jason laid back—. Guess when you're good, you keep working on it. And if you aren't, you find a 9 to 5 job that gives you stability. My friend here —he mentioned, pointing at Y/n with his head— has an office job, but is everywhere except her office.

And Jungkook knew exactly why.

—You talk like a grandpa, I don't know how Kelsey is keeping up with you —Y/n chuckled.

—Kelsey? —Jungkook frowned.

—Oh, my wife —Jason answered with a lovely smile, showing off his golden ring.

Suddenly, all worries vanished away from Jungkook's body when he learnt about that significant other. If he knew something about Y/n, it was that she'd never stoop so low to get in the middle of a relationship, and even less while knowing the other person. The night she came back covered in wine was the best proof of it.

—Oh, I have to leave —Jungkook suddenly pulled his hand away from her, reaching to his phone with the other—. My partner wants to have a quick meeting.

—Sure. It was nice meeting you —Jason smiled.

—I'll see you later.

Right after saying that, Jungkook dropped a fast peck on her lips, that she didn't see coming -and which she didn't quite assume until she saw him walking out the restaurant.

—Did he just leave without paying? —Jason wondered at her left.

—That's exactly what he did —she sighed.

—Well, I like him better than the asshole of Kyle.

—We aren't dating —Y/n rushed to deny.

—Sure. You're just neighbors who kiss each other, get jealous, and who play footsie under the table.

—What? —her eyebrows lifted, while her cheeks started burning.

—It's not like you're the best at pretending, and he wanted to make it quite obvious —he scoffed, sipping on his beer.

—We're just neighbors... Who sometimes fuck each other, and who're just getting on well —she shrugged—. And I might be liking him a bit.

—No shit, Sherlock —while he laid back to look at her, Jason crossed his arms over his chest—. He's a bit shameless, but I like him for you. At least you know you won't be bored with him, in the good sense.

—Yeah, no. That for sure ain't happening.

They both made sure to avoid it from happening.

Shouts and jeers from the spectators blended into a cacophony of noise. Smoke from illicit cigarettes and cigars hung in the air, creating a hazy, oppressive environment, that combined with the smell of sweat and fear, mingling with the metallic scent of blood, made her dizzy at first.

Her eyes wandered around the place like they had been doing ever since they arrived, puckering her lips while she tried to memorize as many faces as she could. She felt like a cop undercover, just that she didn't have a gun, and if she was exposed looking too deep into some details she had no other way to defend herself than calling out Jungkook, who was on the other extreme of the warehouse.

His eyes never left her either way, even when he was in the middle of a fight -which he only managed to win because the other fighter was worse than him. That feeling of something happening to her while she was there had his heart at the top of his throat.

It was a bad idea to have her there -and he thought he learnt that the last time-, but knowing the way her eyes would shine with the news only worked to test his own limits and push his own rules away.

He was a dumbass.

—There aren't good fighters anymore —she heard a man rant behind her—. Jungkook is an exception, and he isn't even out for sale. He's too busy being Elijah's dog.

She couldn't be bothered about that comment because, as much as she grew closer to Jungkook, the truth was that he was allowing others to play with him like a toy, using a gym that wasn't even his as a bargaining chip. Although she couldn't judge him for it either. Just like her, he had his reasons to do what he was doing.

—I think trainers shit their pants whenever they have to send these kids here, after what happened with the Line of the 21.

—The best defender in a coma, and the best attacker dying of a heart attack.

Y/n paused when she heard that, recognizing her brother's case almost immediately. But still waiting to hear some other details that could confirm it was him.

—That guy wasn't ready —the man opposed—. Whoever his trainer was, fucked up sending him to that fight when he had heart issues.

—I lost my bet that day, but do you know what I got?

Y/n subtly turned, just to be able to see through the corner of her eye whatever it was he was showing to the other man he was talking to. Her blood stopped running when she recognized that pendant, in the shape of a cross. Two nails formed the horizontal bar of the cross, and one longer nail formed the vertical bar, with them being arranged with their heads pointing outwards and the tips meeting at the center.

—Is that from the fighter who died? —Y/n asked, giving up the act.

She was supposed to be there cheering for Jungkook, watching him from afar while he fought in the middle of the makeshift ring, moving over the mixture of dirty and dry blood every time he moved to attack his opponent.

—You like it? It's pretty, huh —he praised, enrolling the chain around his knuckles—. When you have an eagle eye, you're able to catch these things —he winked at her—. While others were running away, I managed to find this.

As much as she wanted to be disgusted by that attitude, when someone else was about to die not even thirty minutes after he reached the hospital, the shock to see something that belonged to her brother being held by someone else was bigger.

—How much do you want for it?

She was willing to pay anything.

—It's not for sale, pretty —he put on the necklace again.

—I'll pay anything.

—Well, that's another story —the man stepped towards her—. Why don't we go outside and put that little mouth to work? I might let you look at it up close.

It took Y/n to feel his callouses hands on the curve of her ass to throw a fist in his direction, shocking him at first when he didn't expect her to defend herself that way.

Jungkook, who had been watching suspiciously from afar their approach, suspected there would be nothing good coming out of their conversation, and he was right when he saw his dirty hand moving over her body.

It worked automatically: one hand on her, and his feet started moving, leaving his place for the next fight just to reach her. Her punch collided against his face and before the man could even lift his arm to attempt to hit her, Jungkook punched him again to make him fall to the floor.

—Are you alright? —he turned to her.

—He has Noah's necklace —she mumbled, with her pupils shaking.

The bell announced the next fight, the second one he was going to participate in to seal the deal with Elijah. Although he knew the second he moved away from her, someone would be back at her neck.

It was a one second decision. And he had it clear before he could even hesitate to choose.

His fingers wrapped around her wrist, pulling her to assure himself she was glued to his body while they walked through the aggressive crowd that was anticipating the next fight.

Jungkook didn't even bother to take off the bandages around his hands, because he knew it urged her to get out of there. But as every time he was in a rush to get out of somewhere, something stopped him.

—Are you leaving? —Elijah interrogated.

—My girlfriend isn't feeling alright —Jungkook answered.

—And because she isn't feeling alright you're leaving? Let her take some fresh air and put your ass in that ring.

—I'm sorry, dude —Elijah's hand on his chest stopped him from taking a step.

—Ten thousand dollars, Jungkook. Don't forget what you're giving up on.

That was the deal.

It would help him erase some debts he had been dragging for months, it'd even give him the chance to renovate some details in the gym. But he had to fight twice -with only the first one giving him one thousand dollars worth in equipment.

It was either money, or Y/n's safety -after she chose to lose her chill to punch somebody.

He had it clear.

Jungkook didn't answer. He only clenched his jaw while gripping on her wrist a bit tighter to get out of there.

Neither of them talked. And while at first Y/n wanted to blame the helmets, it didn't get any better when they stepped inside his house. They just moved quietly, as if their words were going to lack any meaning, and their actions were the only thing that mattered.

Y/n silently moved, kneeling in front of him in between his legs, with the aid kit next to him to clean the small wounds on his face. She had been too shocked on their way out of the warehouse to realize what had happened.

—I'm sorry —she muttered—. I just... couldn't help it.

—It's alright —he lied.

—Kook, you lost ten thousand dollars, are you serious? —she called him out— I'll try to pay you back. I don't know... I'll be giving you money every month until I make up for it.

He wanted to be mad at her, yet everything she said, the pitch of her voice, the way her eyes were tinted with guilt... he just couldn't. And that annoyed him even more.

—Y/n, that's not the problem —he held her wrists, keeping him from touching him, because he knew he'd lost focus the second her fingertips lied on him.

—And what's the problem?

—You. You're the problem —he finally sentenced, getting up from his seat—. I want to be mad at you, and I just can't. I can't get mad at you, I can't stop thinking about you, I can't stop worrying about you... It's overwhelming.

Y/n pressed her lips together, turning her body to him, thinking it was the closest he'd ever been to being honest about his feelings. That was probably the weakest she had seen him since they met each other.

—And it's all your fault —that accusation, with such belligerence, wasn't what she expected—. You're like a fucking disease. When I started being nice with you and came up with living with you, it was supposed to end with me getting done with you. Who knows? Maybe a few hook ups would make it all up, but nope. It's even worse. I get jealous, which I hate by the way. And now I even gave up to ten thousand dollars. It's so fucking insane.

She watched him coming and going in his living room, nervously yapping while confessing out loud what he was after with his sudden change in attitude.

—Is it so bad to like me?

—Yes! —he rushed to answer— I was happy with my life until you showed up with your freaky habits, and crazy reactions.

Y/n got up from the floor, walking towards him with her eyes fixed on his. If there was something she found out, it was that she was stupid for ever putting her walls down for him. She wasn't scared of admitting she was wrong about him, she didn't care to admit she started liking him... but she did hate to realize that she was fooled.

—Where are you going? —Jungkook asked, watching her dragging her small suitcase from his room to the living room.

—Why don't you do what you're longing so much to do and mind your business? —she cut him off.

—Didn't you hear what I said? I can't.

—Then try a bit harder. I know that for that little brain of yours any form of effort is a big waste of energy, but just try it —she turned to him—. I haven't met anyone so childish and immature, stuck in his conformist complex, just because he's scared of change, in my life.

Jungkook felt his heart beating faster, and the air being cut from his lungs while a knot formed on his throat as he saw Y/n packing her things. He should be feeling relieved, yet all his thoughts were becoming depressing.

—Don't —she warned him, lifting her index in the air, when Jungkook attempted to reach for her hand—. Do you think I have time to deal with your emotional detachments? I have enough problems of my own to deal with yours.

—It's because...

—And don't mention that fucking curse, please —she breathed deeply.

—At least spend the night here.

New reinforced fact about her: she was a bigger stubborn than he was, and he noticed when his door slammed against the walls as she stepped outside.

She knew she wasn't supposed to go back to her place yet, but it was going to be something for that night. At least until she found a cheap hotel where to stay while the works were done in her apartment.

It was good while it lasted. 

Taglist: @jk97bam @ttanniett

[nocturneblight]

“Power of voodoo? Who do?”

I think I’ve reached peaked neurodivergence with this one, can you tell I imagine random stuff when I listen to music? Yeah. It’s one of those days.

My brain is friggen FRIED. I was out all day yesterday painting a roof! Florida is fucking hot! Between getting dizzy and dehydrated, it SUCKED. however, I got a good amount of work done on it so it’s all good, definitely gonna have to go back and paint the rest of it soon but for now, I may relax the best I can. Only problem is, my body temperature is still raised up for some reason, even in a cold room I’m feeling kinda warm and uncomfortable. I think the copious amount of uv rays dicked with my melatonin amount. I got about two hours of sleep, or maybe an hour and a half before I woke up wide awake and viola! I’m here, drawing Serperior and David Bowie, on the exact same page. Never thought you’d see these two together, right? Me neither. BUT sleep deprivation plus caffeine and music would cause the most oddest of imagery.

By the chance that no one understands this joke and thinks I’m actually delirious: It’s a mix between a lyric from the song by David Bowie called “magic dance” plus that one old comic involving the horse and a hungry dude. Why is Serperior there? Because he is. (I didn’t like drawing a basic simplified human character so I made it Serperior instead, deal with it).

Anyways….. Wonderful day you all! I know the text above is in a goofy manner but, all of you who live in a hot area, Drink water! I was lucky enough to be guzzling it down the other day and I didn’t pass out thanks to that. I came very close mutiple times, many moments I felt pressure on my temples and got kinda grainy in the vision. Even with the amount of water I drank, I still got very easily beaten up by the suns heat. So I urge you all to do the same, don’t get yourself hurt or killed when hanging out in the sun, play it safe. We’re all too fragile to be passing out on the floor and risking harming our heads or any other body part. Oh and, Please do where a hat if you can if you’re hanging out outside for a crazy long time, something to cover your neck and scalp. Those parts are hyper sensitive to the sunlight and can become easily damaged by the sun, possibly inflicting cancerous growths. I trust you understand my point. Later friends!

[a-sweet-desperate-softie]

Yooo can we get a storytime on that wetting pretty please with a cherry on top

Haha, sure! Because you said please, of course 😉

I'll start off by saying it wasn't a particularly memorable wetting in the grand scheme of things, but I'll do my best to be a descriptive and nuanced as I can be; it's the way I most enjoy to write these days and the pants wetters at large seem to enjoy it 🥰

***READ THIS*** I am only describing my experiences. I have spent years reading, practicing, and studying how to "play" safely. BY NO MEANS am I suggesting that you take anything that I say as instruction, direction, or anything of the sorts. Please, please, please, read about how much water/fluids are safe to consume in a given time period. ***PLAY SAFELY***

Context

I've been thinking a lot about the variety of sensations that I experience when holding/wetting and the ways in which different beverages cause my bladder to respond in distinct and manipulatable ways. For example, water is surely my favorite thing to hold. There are no irritants and it is not a diuretic, so therefore all you can really do to adjust your experience by drinking only water is control/effect how much you drink, how often you drink it, and how much and how often you're allowed to relieve yourself. Water is what I started with when first exploring omo and it is my control for all intents and purposes. There's nothing like having a bladder filled to the brim with little to no irritants rushing along the process. To quote Dr. Emily Nagoski, if "pleasure is the measure," then the pleasure of (safely) holding nothing but water and food is unmatched.

But yesterday I had a schedule I was keeping to. Sooo, I thought it might be fun to fill up decently with water and then see what would happen if I had some strong diuretic/irritant heavy beverages to see how it would feel to go from holding comfortably to an onslaught of irritation-based desperation. I've recently made the switch from traditional brewed coffee (usually iced/cold brew) to hot chai tea as my primary caffeine source. While coffee surely was a diuretic (and not in the fun, omo kind of way...), the chai I've been drink (Blue Lotus) just makes me have to pee, IMMEDIATELY. Like, for the last few weeks I've been rather quite on here because before I can even think about maybe holding, I already peed twice and feel like I need to go again. So, since my whole sexual journey has largely been shaped by my insatiable imagination thinking up wild, "un-winnable" situations and challenges for me to find pleasure in I thought, hey, fuck me up, Florida, I'll try it.

Story

After feeling the first wave of desperation crash through my body, I knew I could really start fucking with myself. I decided I would have one more big glass of water, then a hard iced tea (5% abv), then a really strong cup of chai with some extra honey to help it go down even quicker 🤤 With the first wave of desperation behind me, I had probably about 30 minutes before I could expect the next, as long as I stayed focussed.

Most of my wetting experiences have taken place in the bathroom, but since I had the place to myself, I decided that I'd try some more situational play.

I MUST keep my pants on.

I MUST keep them zippered and buttoned all the way up.

I MUST keep my belt exactly as it is.

I MUST keep washing the dishes until UNTIL I've leaked, THEN

I MUST put the front window shade all the way up, and

I MUST be visible through that front window as I wet myself.

I was wearing all dark clothing, and the front window is a long way back from the street/sidewalk, so I wasn't really risking being seen more than I was forcing myself to FEEL as though I could be seen. But ignore that if you'd rather imagine my in some cute pastel colors which all get SO DARK at even the smallest little leak.

Jumping ahead 25/30 minutes; I am feeling FULL, and I've finished both the hard iced tea and chai...

So there I was, scrubbing away at some dishes with warm water flowing freely down then length of my fingertips when I felt a gas bubble building. Let me tell you... I have never been more worried that my bladder was just going to collapse in on itself then I was when I tried to pass that little gas bubble! Oh. My. LORD!

The nerve clusters in my pelvic floor are SO well trained. Like, not for nothing, I've routinely done kegels for close to 20 years, can fully separate the sensations and experiences of orgasm and ejaculation (AMAB), and have enjoyed challenging myself with various styles/forms or edging, orgasm control, anal/prostate play, THE WORKS. However, my bladder was at it's limit, and everything felt so intense that I just couldn't make sense of the sensations and distinguish them in a way that I could confidently let that little fart out without risking absolutely flooding my pants.

So, I took a deep breath, gently pressed on my tummy a little above my bladder, and finally, the fucking tiniest amount of gas passed from me, and I was still dry!

Now, for anyone who is familiar with that particular sensation—the feeling of relief on your bladder as the pressure the gas had been providing is finally relieved—but it makes me feel as though I can hold forever, lol. Suddenly, I went from what felt like a 9.5, mere seconds away from uncontrollably wetting myself, down to what felt like 4!

But that relief only last so long...

Within 3 minutes, I went from that 4, RIGHT BACK TO A 9.

It was unreal.

I RAN to the window and through the shade up, stood back so I could stretch my arms up over my head and place each hand against the top of the door frame I was standing in. As I reach my arms up, I could feel the space in my tummy being stretched upward, and like everything that can stretch, as something gets longer, the volume gets narrower (we're all just fleshy rubber bands, people). As my tummy elongated, the pressure against the front of my bladder finally pushed it to it's limit.

I wish I could remember what the wetting itself felt like, but my adrenaline was so off the charts than it just felt like I was in a haze. Either way, I THOROUGHLY enjoyed myself. :)

Long story short, I wanted to be able to enjoy being full, enjoy the sensations of pleasure and desperation building from my toes up, through the shivers and squirms, gasps and grabs. But I also didn't want to have as much control at the end as I usually do. When I'm just holding water I can make that last portion of a hold—the imminent wetting—last for pretttty long, and rather than rapid desperation where I get too ahead of myself and don't allow myself to enjoy the hold as much because I can't wait for the wetting, adding the irritants/diuretic at the end seems to be a really wonderful and hopefully repeatable way to get the best of both.

[cgsf]

Men's Hockey (RPF) fanfiction recs:

Leon Draisaitl/Matthew Tkachuk [Part 2]

"wondering how many times can a heart melt" 🔒 (E) by slowboat | 2,551 | Wet lips parted, neck pink from beard burn. Head thrown back into the pillow but still watching Leon from under half-closed lids like Leon’s the Second Coming of Christ, like it’s detrimental for Matthew to keep his eyes on him, like he, too, is desperately trying to commit the view to memory.

"wrong when it's right" 🔒 (E) by daisysusan | 8,172 | Leon is drunk. Which—glancing around the locker room—plenty of guys aren’t sober, and for that matter Matthew isn’t either, but Leon is among the drunkest. Maybe the drunkest. Not sloppy, really, but it’s obvious in his loose movements and the way he smiles. And to think, Matthew thought he was going to forget how much he knew about Leon’s body.

"linger" 🔒 (E) by bropunzeling | 71,255 | Matthew doesn’t fuck people who hate him, and he doesn’t fuck hockey players, and he doesn’t fuck alphas. He definitely doesn't fuck alphas when he's in heat. Except for, apparently, Leon Draisaitl.

"punch-drunk" 🔒 (E) by isozym | 3,142 | “Maybe I have a big secret crush on you,” Matthew says with a smile. “On pace for a hundred and forty points, so hot.” “Bullshit,” Leon snorts. His hand drops lower and squeezes Matthew’s ass. “You got me,” Matthew says. “I looked at you and figured your dick was big and uncut and would fit good in the back of my throat.”

"press my head between your shoulder blades" 🔒 (E) by puckthisshift | 13,559 | Leon brings a boy home to Mallorca with him. It was supposed to be some cross between a sexcation and a romantic getaway. Somehow, it turns out better. And more embarrassing for... mostly for Leon.

"Stud" 🔒 (E) by the_pole_position | 959 | "What the fuck?" Brady said, looking over at him in concern. Then, once he spotted Matthew's flaming cheeks, suspicion. "What did you do." It wasn't even a question that he'd done something, which was fair.

"dim the lights and think of you" 🔒 (E) by allthatsings | 2,039 | “Come home with me.” “What?” It’s warmups and Matthew Tkachuk is leering at Leon from the other side of the red line.

"the first law of motion" 🔒 (E) by bropunzeling | 5,568 | Matthew finishes brushing his teeth and spits in the sink. From this close, he smells like sweat, sex, the mint of his toothpaste. “I’m gonna shower too,” he says, reaching for the waistband of the basketball shorts he put on just to come in here, like Leon wasn’t riding his cock half an hour ago. “You staying?” It’s a rhetorical question. Even so, Leon wonders what would happen if he gave the wrong answer.

"your temporary touch" 🔒 (E) by bropunzeling | 5,462 | Leon didn't even want to go to Florida.

"contact high" 🔒 (E) by bropunzeling | 10,065 | So, something is wrong with him. Obviously. Leon’s never heard of anything like this, of feeling overheated and overwhelmed and out of control over your own body. Matthew touching him seems to fix it, though. If Leon were in his right mind, he’d hate that.

"Odour" 🔒 (E) by CoffeeHound91 | 32,201 | Matthew is a Null. He thinks that makes him nothing. Leon disagrees.

"i don't speak german but i can if you like" 🔒 (E) by wheelsnipecellysboys | 3,355 | “Ich spreche kein Englisch, du trottel.” “Woah,” Matthew says unintelligently, putting his hands up in surrender. “Holy shit, what is that? German? Swedish? Fuck.” He slides his martini glass away and grabs the one that this man had bought him, fingers picking at the olives again. “That’s hot.”

"Crowd Pleaser" 🔒 (E) by Helenish | 3,662 | “Best you ever had,” Matthew said once, because he was a dick.

"Wildcard" 🔒 (E) by wearemany | 21,124 | “Anything this guy wants,” he yells, tilting his head towards Draisaitl, “I’m buying.”

"roughed up in the afterglow" 🔒 (E) by notthequiettype | 5,553 | "Fuck," Matthew says, and laughs again, a dry nothing of a sound. "Why is this so awkward?" "I don't know," Leon says, and lets his shoulders drop, shoves his knuckle into his eye. "Jesus."

"follow you down" 🔒 (M) by foundfamily | 11,739 | “Who’s looking after you?” Leon bristles. “Nobody. I’m a grown man.” “I could come out for a few days.” Leon waits for the punchline, sure he must be joking, but Matthew stays quiet, lets the offer linger.

"static" 🔒 (E) by bropunzeling | 1,392 | It all happens on autopilot: punching in an address into Uber, sliding into a backseat, walking over a threshold. One minute he was on the ice, watching the puck go into an empty net as Matthew yanked on his stick, holding him back; the next he was here, standing in Matthew’s bedroom, goosebumps dotting his skin. Even in Florida, he's cold.

"pull me closer (we ain't ever getting older)" 🔒 (E) by ohtempora | 11,503 | Here's what Leon knows about Matthew Tkachuk: He's annoying to play against, especially for a freshman. Especially for a true freshman. He got in a shoving match in an exhibition game against Acadia. He's top on his team in points, and he's going to be a top-ten pick in the upcoming draft. Doesn’t help that he plays for Leon’s biggest rival. His name is getting thrown around for Hobey contention, and Leon can’t take some freshman winning the award he's wanted two years running.

"push-pull" 🔒 (E) by bropunzeling | 2,765 | Matthew can’t help glancing at Leon’s thumb, at the path it's tracing as it dips under the hem of his sleeve. It’s a casually possessive gesture, staking out a square inch of territory. It puts him in mind of two months ago, when they were sitting on the couch at Leon’s place, drinking the beers Leon offered before they got down to the reason Matthew was there; Leon’s arm had draped over the back of the couch, his fingers resting in the notch of Matthew’s shoulder in a way they had never done before, and Matthew had sat there, fist choking the neck of his beer bottle as he tried not to go crazy from wanting to pull away from it. From wanting more of it.

"Bad Habit" 🔒 (M) by ClaraxBarton | 2,295 | Matthew was angry, horny and lonely. Not a great combination in his hometown, during an event that threw an even bigger spotlight on him than usual in a town that was absolutely a hockey town, no matter what people wanted to say. So, his usual go-to for getting rid of the angry, horny, lonely feelings - hooking up with a stranger - was problematic in a lot of ways. Not the least of which was finding the time between all of the everything he had to do.

"Bloodletting" 🔒 (M) by Helenish | 3,781 | They’d been happy. They’d won a lot of hockey games together.

"make this bed get squeaky" 🔒 (E) by puckthisshift | 8,674 | The Oilers win their series against the Flames and Leon feels like he deserves a reward. Showing up at Tkachuk’s house for a booty call feels like the natural next step.

"Opposite of Nothing" (E) by angry_geno_is_score | 10,393 | “Hey,” Tkachuk calls across the red line during warm-ups, the night before the first of three exhibition games Calgary and Edmonton will play against each other in the next couple weeks. “Wanna fuck?” Leon knew he was asking for it by skating so close to the Calgary side of the ice. “What?” he demands, ice spraying as he skids to a stop so he can turn to face Tkachuk fully.

"call it what you want" 🔒 (M) by fannyann | 13,034 | When Matthew sees the photos, he laughs about the timing until he cries. It’s the morning the Oilers are set to play the Blues and he should probably be angry or panicked or appalled that someone would violate their privacy like this. But mostly, Matthew’s just disappointed he couldn’t even be outed with a guy who kept his word.

"lift your hearts to the horizon" 🔒 (M) by puckthisshift | 14,583 | In which Matthew slut-shames Leon’s wandering heart, Leon makes declarations like the romance novel hero he is, and we ignore the rules of physics in favor of magic.

"broken glass" 🔒 (E) by dilangley | 13,794 | “So it’s going to be like that,” Leon said, a statement, not a question. He had thought otherwise; after all, the ranks of wolves in professional hockey was small, a brotherhood spanning across organizations in allegiance deeper than team colors. “I can’t make exceptions. Not even for Leon Draisaitl.”

"cartography of light and undead" 🔒 (M) by lighthousetowers | 22,582 | Two consenting adult vampires beat each other up in a St. Louis back alley, until they don't. This? Is a love story.

"malt" 🔒 (E) by unsay | 4,044 | "It's nice to meet you. I have heard many good things,” Barkov says, diplomatically, while they both try to pretend that his closest acquaintance with Leon to date hasn’t been by way of the scratches down Matthew’s back.

"last dress rehearsal" 🔒 (E) by unsay | 3,257 | “Nah, c’mon, I think it’s cute,” Matthew says. Leon feels the back of his neck go hot. “You’re, like, really trying to get yourself wifed up here.”

"better than before" 🔒 (E) by bropunzeling | 4,704 | "Well,” Matthew says, once he can get his breath back. “That was alright.” Next to him, the sheets rustle. Matthew turns his head to the side and watches Leon push himself up on one elbow. There’s a wrinkle right between his eyebrows. “Alright,” he repeats slowly.

"feeling all hell" 🔒 (M) by litaf1101 | 7,405 | Leon and Matthew are doing a terrible job at being exes.

"never get far" 🔒 (E) by ohtempora | 4,110 | After the Flames get bounced from the playoffs, Matthew gets off the ice, gets about twenty minutes to be pissed off in the locker room, grits his way through his media availability, and gets the call. When Draisaitl walks into the room, Matthew honestly doesn't know which one of them is more surprised.

"plans in a warmer town" 🔒 (M) by ohtempora | 2,057 | When you consider how strongly the odds were stacked against them, Matthew has no idea how they pulled this off.

"brakeless" 🔒 (E) by ohtempora | 8,117 | Whatever is linking them together—biology or lust or something bigger, something Matthew can’t begin to understand—falls into place. Matthew says, “This isn’t supposed to happen.”

"catch me, I'm falling" 🔒 (E) by puckthisshift | 9,852 | Matthew wakes up alone and confused the morning after saying Red to his one-night stand. He’s planning on going right to Biosteel Camp, but someone demands to take care of him.

"rough dream?" 🔒 (M) by reticent | 7,248 | “Would you believe me if I said I was in, like, a Groundhog Day kind of situation?” Matthew sounds strangely serious. Which Leon doesn’t really understand, because Matthew’s not stupid, and: “Time loops don’t exist.”

"in from the cold" 🔒 (E) by yourblues | 4,654 | Matthew says, “Love what you’ve done with the place.” This is a joke. The joke is that Leon’s house in Edmonton looks exactly the same as it did the last time he was here, which was almost two years ago, when Matthew was still property of the Calgary Flames.

"one-off" 🔒 (E) by thelightwithout | 564 | so the thing is that, when it happens, it’s not really supposed to be anything.

"the sweetest dream would never do" 🔒 (E) by NoodleE | 1,255 | It’s not the first time a guy whose nose Matthew wants to break has shown up in a sex dream – not that Matthew wants to break his nose right now anyways. He’s enjoying this way too much.

°°°°°°

"act like I don't care what you did" 🔒 (E) by puckthisshift | 6,399 | Matthew had grabbed Draisaitl’s thigh mostly by accident, but he wasn’t going to let that asshole know about that. But after making some promises, he finagles a bid for the winner’s room so he can deliver. And then some. How else is a guy supposed to get an apology out of Draisaitl?

"barons" 🔒 (M) by dilangley | 42,768 | Matthew Tkachuk coaches Leon Draisaitl and Trevor Zegras for the NHL’s newest expansion.

More to be added.

[tigerdrachin]

I HAVE DONE IT

I'M FREE

Ok, what the fuck is going on? Well in a post from like a few months (its been like... a year and a half at this point) ago I rambled about NYs character being inconsistent at best with how often he changes between outfits and the characterization always changing slightly with it.

So I decided to make a character deep dive for him out of boredom (oh past me I envy you) , I know Ben did not intend for the characters to have very in depth personalities, it's just a fun thing I noticed and wanted to talk about.

I have rewatched all the videos NY appears in (yes all of them. twice. took ages) and my suspicions have just gotten stronger, so here I will present to you everything I pulled from the video canon, which is the only thing I will be pulling from.

I also can't give episode names to most of my points, as sadly a chunk of my notes were lost while I was neglecting to finish this and I don't have the time to rewatch them all a third time, so if you want to know why some points are in this, ASK. I will try to provide answers (as far as my incomplete notes can provide).

Starting with the groundwork that basically started this project.

I don't think NY is NY, the state, most of the time, but more NYC posing as NY, kinda like the Austin-Texas situation just flipped with the city calling the shots while the state takes backseat, mirroring real life (as in NY being only known for NYC).

And I also don't think NYC is the only one sharing a body with NY. I think Albany and Buffalo are also there.

I will get into each of them individually in a second, but first I have to address the episode that brought me on this train of thought, which is "DC statehood"

This episode, for those who don't know, shows NY and NYC as two different entities, NYC having the classic NY look we all know, and NY wearing Bills merch from head to toe.

You may already see the problem, how could NY and NYC be the same person when we see them separated here? Well, because Ben doesn't have a consistent canon, but that isn't the point here.

The other problem with "DC statehood" is that it is an outlier, it's the only instance that doesn't fit the pattern that the rest of the episode laid out. While being an important piece of this take on a character study for NY it doesn't fit in with the rest of NY canon.

The thing is, this is not the only case where "DC statehood" doesn't fit in with the rest of the table episodes, which is why even tho it disproves this entire theory I will go on with it as the normal episodes give me enough confidence to deem this specific video as an anomaly.

I wanted to address this as its the episode that started all this (note from currents stripes: Its my theorie and I can dismiss whatever I want :P)

Now that that's settled

Every character corresponds to a few outfits that I will list. I will only do a broad overview tho for the sake of both our time.

I will go after how often they appear and the importance they seem to hold, starting off with,

NYC

NYC is the one we see the most throughout the series, he has the most appearances and is the one we associate with the character NY.

The states referred to him as NYC multiple times, but it often seems more like they are poking fun at him and aren't actually aware that he's not the actual state.

He always wears the red beanie, but his shirt often changes, he is also the one wearing the coat in the earlier episodes.

Quickfire

He does not like Chicago

Frenemies with Florida

Is the one that has a bat in his trunk

Insomnia

BIG BROTHER VIBES INTENSIFY

Is the only state we see outside the statehouse (not counting Florida man in SO Cal)

always stressed

the one doing the job interview episode

Quotes

"Good for her/him"

"That's your business"

"I don't (sleep). That's kinda my whole thing" - ´The Hot Dog Hoax´

"Because I said so." - ´The Hot Dog Hoax´

"Go play in traffic." - ´The internet bans the president´

"I'm late because I don't wanna be here" - ´The internet bans the president´

(NY, as in the state, doesnt get a whole lot of rep, but from what I have seen he is much nicer than NYC)

ALBANY

Albany, as the state capital, has the second most appearances, he pops up sporadically when something in Albany specifically happens

Albany is calmer than NYC, still an asshole, but less ready to commit violence and more verbally a dick.

Bills beanie and New York shirts or red beanie and bills jersey, it switches sometimes

Quickfire

The one with the ´don't come here list´

Gets annoyed when meetings derail, he just wants to leave. (its impressive how consistently he just.wants.to.leave.)

Big power saw TWICE

does not like Florida at all

Aroace, I think? (Based on the states walking in on you)

lets gov speak

Quotes

"What we doing here?" - ´Weekly News Recap 7/14 pt.1´

"Wouldnt it be nice if we had a big saw?"

(future stripes again: MY NOTES ARE INCOMPLETE, SORRY ALL FROM HERE IS JUST ME DOING MY BEST WITH THE MESS YOUNGER ME LEFT ME)

Buffalo

buffalo is the one I have the least information on but I thought he would still be worth mentioning

Hes the one jumping through tables tho

like thats the only reason he appears in like 3 episodes (other then one time for football(I think) but in that epsiode breaking folding tables was also mentioned)

[billthedrake]

DYNASTY

This story was inspired by A4F Tales' (@talesfromunderthemattress ) story Parental Unit. Consider this an unofficial sequel of sorts.

Kevin was driving. He almost always insisted on driving if it was the both of us. Now as I looked over at my older brother, I was glad he was behind the wheel since it gave me a chance to scope him out. Even now, after 8 years of being married, at least in our minds, I never got sick of looking at him. His hairline was receding but if anything that made his solid coach bod even better looking, kind of the best of both worlds, being a 31 year old dude starting to rock the daddy look a little.

"You think Dad hit the bars tonight?" I asked. Still feeling the glow of date night and the buzz of the extra glass of wine I had because I wasn't driving.

Kevin's normally serious expression turned into a slight laugh of a grin. "Probably bro. You know how he's alwasy going on about not getting enough pussy."

I chuckled and puffed out my chest like Dad as I imitated him. "What you boys have going on is great and all... but I'm 50/50, you know," I said in my best Craig Stansell baritone.

Kevin laughed. "Whatever it takes, babe," he said, looking away from the road quickly to flash me a grin. "Besides, the old man's almost 60. Let him have his pride."

"58 and a very fine 58," I chimed in. "You think we ever push him too much?"

My husband seemed to think that over a second. "Not really, no. If anything, maybe not enough." He patted my thigh. "If he found another woman, you know, settled down again... would you be upset, Kyle?"

I didn't have to think of my answer. "Selfishly, yes. But I want him to be happy bro, you know that."

"I do too, of course," Kevin continued, thinking out loud as he turned into our subdivision, where we'd been shacking up as brothers ever since I moved down to Florida to work under him in the college football program he coached. "I just think, you know, he's kind of what makes our relationship work so well."

I'd thought of that too. Kevin and I had both given up our asses to each other, many times, and would gladly continue to do so. But we both preferred topping and all around loved the rush of fucking a man. "We'd make it work regardless, Kevin," I objected. "But I know what you mean."

He nodded and held up his left hand after he turned toward our street. "It was fun wearing our bands when we go out."

"Fun's an understatement," I growled softly. It had been a nice romantic evening, but my big brother was gonna get me hard, fast. "Wish we could do it more."

"It's risky," Kevin said, lust in his voice. "But we'll have to find a way."

The Florida air was warm and muggy. That's the one thing I'd never get used to, but beyond that this was paradise. Maybe because it's a place Dad could take an early retirement to and not bat an eye, living in an in-law addition behind our place.

"Hey guys," our father said, peeling his eyes off a Ravens-Steelers game on TV. Ever since coaching college ball, Kev and I relished our Sunday days off, and had grown less interested in following the NFL religiously. But Dad was still sports obsessed and maybe missed his own coaching days, more than a little. "How was date night?"

Kevin casually patted Dad's meaty shoulder through the man's T-shirt. It still blew my mind how casually our father had sussed out me and Kevin's sexual relationship, early on and how he not only didn't seem to mind but actually covered for us. Only later did I discover he'd fooled around with our Uncle Rick growing up.

"Great," my older brother said, looking over at me with a wink. "Nice to have some one-on-one time with my special man."

Dad grumbled. "You boys should take your special time any goddamn time you want. Forget I'm here if you have to. You guys are married, and just because you asked me..."

"All right, Dad," Kevin laughed, holding up his hands like he was 17 and being delivered another lecture. "Me and me husband are gonna go to our bedroom and have hot date night sex, OK?"

Dad got a big grin on his gruffly handsome mug. Unlike Kevin he still had his full head of hair though it was almost entirely gray now and maybe not as thick as it once was. "That's more like it."

Kevin patted his shoulder and turned to walk back to our room. I knew he was horny from our conversation, and since yesterday was game day and as usual we didn't usually get around to sex, my brother was undoubtedly feeling as backed up as I was. "Good night, Dad," he said.

"Good night," I said to my father, only leaning in for a quick peck of a kiss. On the lips. "You OK on your own tonight, Dad?" I asked.

"Son... if you don't get back there quick, your brother's gonna have some major blue balls," he joked.

I about asked about his blue balls, but instead just took the hint. "All right, Dad. Have a good one."

Kevin was already naked when I got to the master bedroom. I liked stripping for him as he watched and stroked his fat brother bone. "Jack is doing a great job with you," he said, referring to the strength and conditioning coach for the team. Even if I wasn't a player, I took advantage of the man's expertise and encouragement. While Kevin had a naturally medium-build coach bod, I was getting more jacked, almost like a tight end. The more I did, the more my husband loved it.

"Remind me to thank him," I grinned, stepping forward naked to the bed.

We were both horny but we also loved the physicality of making out before swapping blow jobs.

I took my big brother's dick into my mouth, slowly working him up. "Damn, suck me KS," he urged, using my initials as a pet name ever since we first fooled around, back in the day. "Suck your big brother." Those words never failed to turn me on. I blew him with longer deeper mouth strokes, using my hands to feel his hairy balls and hold his prick. Kevin was in shape, but that coach-bod padding felt real nice and softly furred against my forehead as I managed a deep throat.

"FUCK!" my husband grunted, holding me down playfully on to his hairier crotch. "You're too good to me, man." He let up on his grip and I started bobbing again, trying to work him to a good, heavy cum.

Only as Kev was getting too close, he pulled me off, gently pushing my head back once his thick prick cleared my wet lips. "Let me return the favor, bro."

I nodded and I knelt on the bed, letting my older brother lean forward and start licking me. "God, I love date night," he hissed before he bagan taking me into his mouth."

It was hot, very hot, watching my successful head coach of a brother go down on me, his masculine face getting an intent look as he did his best to blow me. It had taken a few years actually to convince my cocky brother to actually go down on me. Now, he took oral service as a serious job, as much dedicated work as studying game tape. You'd think that approach would be a turn off, but instead it drove me wild to see Kevin treat my pleasure like his biggest mission in life.

I could have let him get me off, but something was on my mind.

"Think we should invite Dad back, bro?"

I thought Kevin might be pissed off or at least bark his usual reminder that it was date night. Instead he pulled off my hard dick and slurped back the excess spit before he nodded, "Go get him."

I leapt up like an excited puppy and strutted into the living room, naked and hard. Dad was still watching the game, and I startled him when I put both hands on his shoulders and gave a gentle squeeze. "Feel like joining us?" I asked simply.

He looked up and his eyes went wide when he realized my nakedness. Kevin wasn't the only one into my new jacked-up body. "Don't want to spoil your date night, Kyle," he said softly.

"When did you ever spoil anything, Dad?" I asked. "But it's up to you. We'd love to have you with us tonight."

He nodded, and god I could tell he was horny for it. "If you're sure."

"Sure I'm sure," I said. I gave a reminder. "But it's the master bedroom."

We had a ritual about this. Turns out Dad was on board, as always. "I want that," he said quietly but confidently.

I appeared first, and Kevin was already lubing up his cock, confident Dad would come in too.

"Hey Dad."

It wasn't Kevin who said that but our father, who was stepping out from behind me and peeling off his T-shirt. His 58 year old frame had always been muscular, an ex-jock's build, but since moving to join us in Florida, he'd kept at the weights hard to stay solid. He was very much a silver muscle daddy, tanned and buff, though with the telltale roughness in his skin from a man that age.

"Pop says you guys want me to join you," our father added, getting into the psychodrama we'd honed over the years. One that played out not every night but at least once a week.

"Come on, son," Kevin said, patting the mattress and scooting to make a spare spot. "We love having you in our bed."

Dad never played favorites, but when we did role reversal like this, Kevin was Dad and I was Pop and that just intensified the bond he had with his eldest. I watched as Dad scooted next to my brother-husband, letting Kevin take the lead to claim a kiss as Dad's furry muscle daddy body almost arched like a cat in Kevin's greedy embrace.

I never got sick of watching those two men kiss. It was romantic and sexual at the same time, in equal parts.

It turned me on to see how much our father loved it. His old man had been a legendary football coach, and after a number of threesomes Kevin and I sussed out that Dad had some giant-sized Daddy Issues of his own. A little role play and pushing the envelope and we settled in on this.

Dad was our son only when joining us in the master bedroom, but we embraced it so heavily that for that time it felt real to us. Real to Kevin, real to me, and real to our dad.

For his part, Kevin outright loved playing Dad to our father. As hot as the sex was between me and my brother, this brought out his more assertive side.

Already he was making his way down Dad's silver-furred body, kissing down that mature muscle and nudging our father's legs up and back. Dad complied. "Oh yes, Dad," he hissed. "Eat out my son hole."

He got into it, into that intimate connection between my brother's tongue and his sphincter, gently loosened from Kev's and my regular fucks. "God, Pop, I love you guys," he hissed as I lay next to him. And like that, me and my father were kissing. Deep, tongues battling, sucking the air from one another.

We got lost in that incest kiss. Me being daddy for my father and both of us loving that head-fuck. Either we made out longer than I expected, or Kevin was real impatient that night. Before I knew it, Dad pulled back and turned to look at Kevin who was holding our father's legs and entering him with that heavy brother cock of his.

"God, yeah," Dad said. "Dick me, Dad. I need it so bad, sir."

The S word was like poppers to Kevin. He growled and plowed right in. The first time he'd taken Dad like that I was pissed off and a little worried. But turns out Dad loved it. Even if that ex-NFL-er cock softened at the rough intrusion, Dad was always back to full hardness quickly.

That's how it played out now. I watched excitedly as the dick that made me steadily got its lead hardness again. I slicked my father's prick up with lube and slowly stroked while Kevin pounded him with harder faster stokes.

"Fuck, son," my coach brother hissed, throwing that beefy body into an athletic performance. Even if I preferred to top more than bottom these days, just watching my husband in rut made my vers side rare up and crave Kevin inside me. We'd have to see how long I'd go before making that a reality.

"Fuck me Dad!" our father bellowed, getting real into it, his hips bucking a little to work his cock in my lubed fist and to meet the fantasy patriarch's thrusts. "Use my hole, sir."

Kevin's face scrunched up and I knew immediately he was coming. One of those sudden, no warning orgasm. His normally confident voice became a succession of whimpers as he ejaculated deep and heavy inside our father.

"Hell yes," our dad his, excited to be bred.

I was horny as hell now. Impatiently, I got up and practically pushed Kevin out of the way. "Fuck 'im babe," he growled, placing his meaty paw on my strong shoulder. I looked down and saw his amazing prick wet with fresh cum. The view of Dad's asshole was better. Legs spread wide, our father showed off the now fucked-open hole and the incestuous creampie oozing out.

I'd never done this before, though it had been on my mind. At that moment, horniness overcame any hesitation I had. I leaned down and started licking Dad's pucker.

"Oh SHIT, Bro!" Kevin exclaimed. I didn't have to see to know my brother's softening prick surged right back into a hard watching me felch on his load. It was evident in my brother's voice.

Dad actually chuckled at how nasty I was being. But didn't care. I licked deeper now, rooting for a stronger taste of Kev's cum. I figured if I was gonna have my first felch experience, I'd go all the way.

Dad helped me out, by pushing out a good bit of Kevin's load. That familiar brother-husband flavor filled my mouth, and it drove me wild to realize just how much he'd cum.

"Oh fuck!" I growled as I pulled back, my throat half clogged with that assload. I rushed as I got into the saddle. I hoped to god Kev's fuck was foreplay enough for Dad, because I was coming in. My entry was rougher and more sudden than Kevin's had been.

"Yeah, Pop," Dad hissed. No softening cock this time, my father's meat twitched in its hardness as I boned him.

The dad-son mating was fevered. Dad clenching at my body and me doing my best Kevin Stansell topping imitation. As I fucked Dad and as Dad called me Pop with every other stroke, I imagined doing this to my father over the years, as the man entered his 60s, and even his 70s...

The idea almost tripped my trigger but I held off so Dad could cum. I didn't want to leave the old man high and dry. So I slowed my strokes and tried to work his butt nut. "Yes," he hissed, getting into the new rhythm. It wasn't a Kevin imitation, but a Kyle Stansell fuck.

My brother had actually gone to piss, like he always does after a good fuck. I guess I'd forgotten about him, because I was surprised to feel his hands on my mind and his kiss along my neck. "You're beautiful to watch Babe," he whispered. Instinctively I leaned back into that kiss and embrace, even as I had to slow my fuck down to a slow hump.

It took me a second to register how greasy Kevin's lubed cock was and how adeptly it was rooting in between my tight-end-worthy ass cheeks. "Whaddya say, bro?" he grunted, licking and nibbling at my ear lobe.

I wanted it. God, I wanted. "Yeah," I replied, and all of a sudden I was the center of attention. Dad's eyes on me, hungry but amused at watching me take my brother's cock. Kevin feeling me up to coax me to relax.

My man knew he had to take his time. And it had been a solid four months since he'd fucked me. I was tight as fuck.

But something about that situation was opening me up. Slowly, then more steadily I felt Kevin's thick tool plowing in. Challenging me to accept all of him.

"He's big isn't he, Pop?" Dad asked.

I looked down in my father's brown eyes. "Feels even bigger going in," I answered.

"It's gonna make you feel amazing, Pop," Dad said with sincerity. "Always does."

Kevin loved being talked up like that, and he now thrust more excitedly into me. It was intense but in a good way. Particularly once Dad's ass started clenching down on my own cock, buried deep inside him. My father was stroking his meat once more and sending shock waves to my bone in the process.

I wouldn't saw we had a practiced rhythm doing a fuck sandwich, but we alternated between Kevin driving things and me being the one to move my hips between these two men.

Dad came first. The excitement of watching his two sons fuck combined with the stimulation in his ass.

"Fuck son!" Kevin exclaimed, watching over my shoulder as heavy spurts of semen spurted from our father's reddened cock. "Give it up, stud."

Just hearing those role play words in my ear got me off. I grunted in orgasm, wordlessly but my body tensing and revealing that I'd crossed the line in a major way.

Kevin's hips were now bucking faster, almost frantic in the guy's realization he had a brief window to get off in me before I lost the sex-fueled openness in my ass.

He made it, barely. My brother-husband's strong hands gripped my waist as he powered his second cum of the night inside me. Making up for no-sex Game Day. I accepted his seed, proud that I'd done this, put out for my man.

My brother gave a soft kiss to the back of my neck and slowly pulled out.

This was always the hardest part of the role play. Not going back to our real-life family roles. But we'd learned to keep it going. Wordlessly, we showered off, first me and Dad in the shower, before I stepped out and let Kevin join him.

"You going to sleep with us tonight, Son?" I asked as I toweled off and watched them rinse under the spray.

Dad looked over at Kevin, maybe expectantly but mostly trying to read his reaction. Kev patted Dad's ass. "Up you, son, but your dads would love to have you join us."

It was wild to see the mature man, a pro-ball veteran and a coaching legend in his own right, act like a deferential college kid with us. He smiled and his dick chubbed out a little as he nodded.

I thought I was spent, but my own prick firmed up at the sight. All the way to full erection. Kevin laughed. He'd cum twice and his beautifully thick prick hung soft, water dripping off.

"Gotta warn ya, Son," my brother said. "Us coaches can be real horny bastards sometimes."

Dad chuckled and I watched as he slipped out of Kevin's embrace and dripping wet, stepped onto the bath mat before crouching in front of me in that classic blow job kneeling position.

"Wouldn't have it any other way, Dad.... Pop..." Then looking up at me he took my son-prick into my mouth.

[midnightkens]

i’m cold, alone

TW: Drug addiction, alcoholism, mentions of trauma, rehab, and being outed

—

Colt blinks blearily and rubs his eyes. It’s never quiet in the city, but this is as close as it’ll ever get. If he closes his eyes, he can just barely make out the crickets’ chirp, a song that reminds him of hot Florida summers, chlorinated water clinging to his hair and skin and playing Manhunt with his cousins. Nothing was simple, but he hadn’t a care in the world in those moments. He misses his cousins. They haven’t spoken in nearly twenty years, not since Mom outed him to the entire family.

Colt can’t help but laugh. He’s been in rehab, yet his bisexuality was the final straw for more than half of his family. How fucking fake.

The door creaks beside him, and he cracks an eye open to see his partner coming out to join him. He grins. Ken has a familiar tumbler in his hand, but does it matter? Does anything? No, not right now. He should care. He should be begging through gritted teeth for Ken to dump the wine, to stop drinking and come back to him. But everything is so calm and peaceful. Who is he to destroy it by starting an argument?

Ken sits beside him. Colt pulls him into his side and kisses the top of his head, and Ken sighs contentedly. He gestures toward the tumbler. “Where’s mine?”

Ken snorts. “Are you crazy? You can’t mix, babe.”

Colt waves a hand dismissively. “I’m fine. C’mon. I’ll just go get it myself.”

“No, you won’t.” Ken stiffens in his hold, and Colt frowns. He’s so angry, and for what? Doesn’t he know that he’s a hypocrite? “You bitch about the taste every time I give you a sip, and there isn’t any beer or tequila in the house. Nice try. Besides, you’re gonna hurt yourself.”

“Oh, like you’re not? You have a fucking twenty-ounce spritzer every night, and you don’t think you’re hurting yourself?”

“Never said I wasn’t,” Ken says with a shrug. “Don’t put words in my mouth. But you’re high as fuck.”

“I am not – “

“Babe, I hate to break it to you, but you can barely keep your eyes open.”

“I’m tired – “

“Don’t preach about me hurting myself when you’re sitting here acting like I’m stupid,” Ken hisses through gritted teeth. “How many painkillers have you had tonight?” Colt feels Ken’s icy glare, and he keeps his eyes focused on the sky. It isn’t that big of a deal. Ken has his vice; why isn’t Colt allowed his? Why is he getting criticized and judged when he’s been nothing but supportive? Ken’s been a fucking mess, and Colt understands, but he’s been holding it together for him for so long. Keeping himself and Ken afloat had been easy at first. He’d carried the weight of Ken’s trauma when Ken couldn’t. He’d completely crumbled, and Colt had been there to catch the fall. Colt misses his partner. He misses the genuine grins, how easily he’d laughed, how he’d serenade Colt with his guitar and make him feel like they were the only two who existed. Ken is a shell of the man he’d met all those months ago.

Colt misses him so much he could cry, but he can’t. The pills dilute everything; it’s almost like being outside of his body. He welcomes the floating, the complete emotional detachment. He wishes it were permanent. It’s so much easier to keep up the façade. His shoulders rest easily now that the weight is gone.

It’s not fair. Ken didn’t ask to be traumatized, and Colt promised to support him. Promises are easy to make in the moment, but Colt’s always been great at breaking them.

One pill. Just one to quell the stress and anxiety. Then two because one wasn’t working, then three so he and Ken could be stoned together and –

Never in his wildest dreams did he imagine this. A few months ago, he would have laughed at the idea of Ken and him getting drunk and high together in their house. That’ll never happen, he’d thought as he watched Ken sip on his drink, resisting the own itch under his skin, the desperation for the familiar high so strong he wants to claw off his own skin.

Now, here they are. High and drunk together, dancing the same waltz but always three steps behind the other.

They’ll wake up tomorrow and stare at each other from across the kitchen table. His mouth will be parched, head full of cotton, and Ken will reek of wine. Tomorrow they’ll vow that they’ll stop, vow to return to their normal lives and their relationship. Colt wonders what the point is.

They’ll stop when they’re ready.

But when will we both be ready?

[guardian-of-fun-times]

❄️Toxic Cosplayers: Frostplay❄️

This is going to be a long-ass post, so get comfortable with your favorite drink and a snack. As for me, the tea is hot and I'm ready to spill.

If you don't already know, this is Juliette, better known as Jacoby or Frostplay online. A band enthusiast, cosplayer, influencer, public figure, suicide prevention advocate, and YouTuber hailing from Southern California.

When I first saw Juliette, I assumed they were either Genderfluid or Trans in which they never stated until they made the post: "I'm a Girl!" after an Instagram account "exposed" her for wearing a binder. The account no longer exists because it was reported and deactivated.

I met Juliette at Anime Los Angeles years ago and she was very standoffish and rude to me seeing that I was also cosplaying the same character. I saw her again at ALA as Jack Frost and she asked me what happened to my leg noticing that I was in a knee brace and carried a crutch to lean on while I had my staff in my other hand.

She wasn’t well-liked in the Jelsa community circa 2013-2015 because she used to fail to credit artists. I never really paid attention to their work because of that, and some things she did… she came across at times as if she thought she was actually Jack Frost, and therefore the authority. It was just a different vibe to others who can have fun but, end of the day you know they know they aren't Jack Frost or any other character.

Her YouTube seemed to have some blurred lines where they thought they were THE Jack Frost. There’s a difference between playing the part at a cosplay convention, or for kids, but end of the day, even the Disney face characters know they aren’t actually Cinderella or something.

Another thing that disappointed me. How can you cosplay Jack Frost and ignore children? That’s such a big part of him. He’s the one who gets the Guardians to reconnect with the kids. Jackson was entertaining the kids. Jack was there for the kids well before he was a guardian.

You might know, that Frostplay went to Disney and dressed as Jack to get those photos and videos with the Elsa face character. Disney face characters have to feign ignorance of things outside of their Disney universe, so putting her in a rough position and potentially causing issues for her at work -- all for internet clout.

So, the stuff about Juliette and the Elsa cosplayers is the tip of the iceberg. She went full Q Anon. She "came out" as cisgender and straight in an emotional video. She was pretending to be in love with them for about five years, so it's a whole fucked up thing.

For a while, it was clear that her whole thing with Jack was some sort of coping mechanism for insecurity about who she was. She threw herself into the character so much that she dated two people at the time, both were Elsa cosplayers. So, it wasn't just one. She broke hearts and pushed people away.

There was a girl named Sofie before Alison. Sofie was from Florida and flew out here a time or two. I still think Juliette will one day accept that she's gender fluid or trans. Plus I know someone who told me that she once used a pseudo penis as a vessel to urinate through, sometimes. So, that adds to it. She's from a conservative area and that definitely influenced her. As for her being rude: she seemed to start gatekeeping the character.

She got awfully jealous and upset that GuardianFrosty on Instagram had taken inspiration from her Royal Jack Frost cosplay. He was literally was driven off Instagram and deactivated his account a few years ago for months because of Frostplay and their friends/followers since they kept sending hate, and death threats if he ever showed up at any California convention.

Claiming a character is childish behavior. Cosplay who you want, when you want. If other people have issues, let that trash take itself out.

[greazyfloz]

6 from smut with Matt Tkachuk please! Sounds like something he’d say 😊

Show Me

Smut: 6. “Show me how much you missed me” w/ Matthew Tkachuk

By accident I scheduled my visit back to my hometown on the wrong week. I meant to go home while Matthew was on the road but ended up picking my flight for the day he got back. With the season being pretty chaotic I didn’t even realize until it was too late to change. This means almost 15 days without Matt. 

While are apart we heavily relied on phone sex but that becomes hard in my childhood home. I counted down the days until I could see Matt. Matt made life more fun and these 15 days really tested my independence without him.

I’m finally on my way home to Matt. Waiting to board I got a call picking it up quickly seeing Matthews contact appear on my phone. “Hey Matty” I smile into my phone

“Hey babe, can you do me a favor?” Matthew replies

“Depends, I’m boarding”

“Fuck” he says, “I need you babe”.

“4 hours and I am all yours”

“I’ll be waiting, can’t wait to taste you” he starts, “I mean see you”.

“I’ll see you soon”

“Don’t think my these lips too much babe, 4 hours is a long flight” he teases me through the phone

“Bye” I say, hanging up the phone. I begin to throb at the thought of Matt between my legs. 4 hours and my dirty thoughts will become a reality. 

I take my seat on the plane and I can feel how wet I am. This isn’t fair I think to myself. Before the plane takes off I go to the bathroom to send some dirty pictures. After I take my clothes off completely I take some mirror pictures, then I take a video touching myself. The plane makes the welcome announcement so I send my collection with a text that says “Something to think about ;)”. I leave the bathroom and take my seat amused but the thought of Matthew begin aroused by my text.

I land and make my way to baggage claim to collect my things then make my way outside. I see Matthew leaning against his car then come over to pick me up in his arms spinning me around. “I missed you so much baby” I say. 

“Missed you too” Matt says, “Here get in, I’ll get the bags”

I hop in Matt’s car and he hops in shortly after me leaning in kissing me but going in deeper. I pull from the kiss laughing. “We are in public” I say laughing. He starts the car and pulls out of the parking spot.

“So were you when you sent me those pictures” he says 

“Don’t act like you didn’t like them” I say to him

“I didn’t like that you weren’t here” he replies. 

“Which picture did you like most?” 

“Definitely the video” Matthew says shifting a bit in his seat. I take my shirts off as we get on the freeway. “What are you doing?” he says with a gulp 

“I forgot how hot Florida is” I say, “or maybe it’s you”. Matthew begins to shift a little more in his seat. I notice Matthew growing in his pants so lean over placing my hand on his bulge rubbing softly. He looks at me quickly before looking back at the road. “Who’s got you so excited?” I saw leaning in his ear kissing down his neck. 

I lean away from his neck and move my face down to his bulge kissing it through his pants making him shiver. “You alright Matty?” I ask looking up at him, “Because you look like you need my help” I say biting my lip. The car comes to a stop. I look up to see he pulled to the side of the road. He unzips his pants and slides them down enough to pull his cock out. 

“Show me how much you missed me” he says putting the car back in drive. I lean over and take his tip in my mouth pushing my head up and down only on the tip slowly going further and further down his shaft. I then take him out of my mouth before going back in trying to squeeze as much of him down my throat as possible. As hits cock is rubbing against the back of my throat Matt reaches over slapping my ass as hard as he can making me jolt up to whimper before going back down. 

The car stops and he pulls my head up by my hair to kiss my mouth. I notice we are in the parking garage to our apartment when he pulls away to say, “I’m not lasting that long”. He pulls his pants down a little further and I take off mine. Matt reclines his seat back a bit and I climb on top. Matt pulls down my bra so he can have my boobs hit his face as I bounce up and down on his cock. I stop rolling my hips around I look down then press my lips against his pulling away I say “I know you want to cum”. I begin to bounce up and down again moaning gently.

“I’m going to cum” he says as I slow down a bit. I feel him twitch thrusting his hips up a couple times finishing inside of me. I reach in the back to grab the blanket to clean myself off enough to get back in the apartment. 

We head into the apartment and Matthew immediately starts undressing himself, “Round two is in the shower” he says making me follow him to the bathroom

[kylefletchersgf]

ʚɞ ⁺˖ ࣪ ִֶָ☾『Reflection』ʚɞ ⁺˖ ࣪ ִֶָ☾

'*•.¸♡ ♡¸.•*''*•.¸♡ ♡¸.•*''*•.¸♡ ♡¸.•*''*•.¸♡ ♡¸.•*''*•.

-ˋˏ [Word Count] ˎˊ : 1.1k

-ˋˏ [Genre] ˎˊ : fluff

-ˋˏ [TW] ˎˊ : gxg, mistakes I might have

-ˋˏ [Taglist] ˎˊ : @stacksifino @nev-danielgarciawife

[Let me know if you want to be in the taglist]

'*•.¸♡ ♡¸.•*''*•.¸♡ ♡¸.•*''*•.¸♡ ♡¸.•*''*•.¸♡ ♡¸.•*''*•.

“Are you sure you want to do this Steph because when we go to California there’s no going back” you said closing the doors to the van after putting in the last box. “I’m sure y/n and plus we need a fresh start you know?” She said getting in the van with you. You started the van driving off “true” you answered her, the only thing getting you guys through this is coffee and the fact that y’all both loved roadtrips so this was just another ‘road trip’ to y’all. For the first stop you both got snacks and drinks.

At the stop you and her decided to stretch your legs before going to get the snacks and drinks, you both went into the gas station grabbing a few snacks and a drink that’ll last you awhile or at least to the next stop. Walking around the isles you and her was talking about whatever you guys was talking about in the van, you looked over at her “but yeah that’s what happened” “they’re crazy” “right they’re fucking nuts for real” you said as you both laughed walking to the counter putting everything on it that you both got.

You let Steph drive to the next stop “how much longer until we get there?” You ask eating a chip. She looks at the gps then back at the road quickly “we have like about a day and a few hours left” she answered as you both groaned. “I know this shit is taking forever” she groaned. After what felt like forever of paying tolls, getting snacks and drinks, using the bathroom you guys finally made it to your guys house that you leased the last time you was in California. “Well here’s our new home” you guys both smiled.

Steph parked the car in the garage as you helped her take out all the boxes from the van, one box at a time you both got the house looking like how your apartment was back in Florida. After enough rest you and her had a busy day ahead of you both; laundry, film a YouTube video, film a podcast video, house things, and so much more. When you both finally finished all the tasks it took literally the whole day well at least to like 9 pm California time you both took a hot bubble bath to finally relax.

After you both was sitting on the bed you both shared and since you both was about to start wrestling again you both decided there needed to be a schedule for when you guys are home; for chores, things to do, and stuff like that. “You think that’s good enough for the schedule?” You asked handing her your iPad where you planned it out. She took it gently from you looking it over “is it ok if we switch the laundry and dishes because I know you don’t like to do them” “you sure Steph?” You asked as she nodded.

You fixed the schedule to the one you both agreed on and printed it out so you can copy it to a magnetic schedule board thing you had, you and Steph both went downstairs; she went for food and you stuck the board on the fridge and made sure it was straight. You two stayed down there for awhile just talking as you made yourself something to eat before bed “how are we going to go to Tna?” You asked as you put your plate down pulling the stool out from the island table before sitting down looking at her.

“Shit I haven’t thought about that yet” “I don’t blame you we was both stressed with moving” “true”, you guys sat there and brainstormed while you ate; writing down ideas, scrapping them, and so on going back and forth until you got the perfect idea. “That’s how we’ll do it” you said sliding your wrestling notes/wrestling related notebook to her, she looked at it reading it to herself “you know what y/n?” “Hm?” “You are a genius that will work that’s what we will do” “you sure that’s good enough we gotta have a hot promo too” “right that too”

“How about this? This ok?” You asked as she watched you write word for word, you looked at her when you was done writing as she read the rest to herself “that’s it y/n, we'll do that so there it’s settled our ‘Tna debut’” she agreed with whatever you wrote. She put the paper in her jacket that she is going to wear tomorrow so y’all won’t loose the note, but you took a picture of it just in case it gets lost. You two went to bed since Tna is scheduled for tomorrow to get a full nights rest.

The Tna knockouts had a match scheduled for tonight so in the middle of their match you and Steph came out and attacked the champs causing a disqualification win for their opponents. You cleared the ring as Steph got two mics handing you one as you stood in the middle of the ring, she put the mic to her mouth “we just attacked your champs how does that make you feel California? Anyways what you think doesn’t matter anyways y/n and I just made a statement so let that be a warning to the women in the back” she paused.

“That’s right Steph they’re not so tough now” you scoffed but continued “what we just did let that be a warning also to any women who ever think about stepping to us. So locker room, knockouts, or whatever you want to call yourselves in the back you better watch out because we go here now” you said dropping your mic getting out of the ring as Steph followed you to the general manager’s office. You guys signed a contract for a year to see if you would like it or not if you did you would sign a longer contract.

If you didn’t like it you and her would go back to wrestling for the Independent companies. You and Steph hugged each other then the general manager thanking him because even though you signed contracts before for companies it’s always emotional when you get a chance to start again. You two decided to share a locker room again like you did in Nxt so you guys moved your stuff in then looking around the arena to see where everything is before you guys officially start. It’s emotional because everyone knows that you both can’t live without professional wrestling who can’t?

[tradetobest]

hello user cats0p... long time lurker but only recently back to tumblr.com because i HAVE to ask more about your golf au and after my anon q was well received i just. i need to know more. here are some of my thoughts:

1634 my faves... i'm so caught on your vague deliberation between auston just being Rich Guy or Auston Matthews because:

regular guy is interesting bc it's so approachable and unassuming... like, he's just some guy. which isn't, like, unapproachable or unreachable by any means, even if he is really big and hot and presumably makes enough money to be spending his evenings at a country club and not at work and kinda feels like he's being flirted with but surely not because... this guy probably has a wife and kids?? but he's always eyeing mitch up and trying to tip him even when mitch isn't even supposed to take tips like that

but hockey auston is like... mitch is in overdrive bc [jennifer lawrence voice] what do you MEAN mitch's favorite leaf and savior of the toronto maple leafs is trying to chat him up at his cart?? i feel like this avenue would be WAY more overwhelming for mitch because he doesn't know how to approach it and isn't sure what the norms are... like is he allowed to tell auston that he played like crazy on sunday and it was so sick, or that he threw his hat at the game against florida two years ago when auston got a hat trick, and not to mention it makes mitch that much MORE dubious to believe auston is flirting with him or that he'd ever have a chance w him...

like both are so so good to consider on all fronts but i'm so enchanted by the idea of auston like... purposely fucking up his drive just to be like oop mitch... sorry you know what a klutz i am i fucked up the green over here again. and auston's friends are all loitering by the cart/ordering drinks and he's the one standing over mitch asking how he even ended up doing something like this and if he likes it and what he's doing over the weekend... and sweet mitchy is so oblivious but excited to talk to him as he patches up whatever hole auston has carved out of the green. his golf score is suffering (as is his wallet seeing as loser buys dinner) but he can't say getting to talk to mitch isn't worth it...

2. i cannot get over little server boy tz... just imagining him in his little tan cargo shorts taking drink orders and letting people's moms do shots with him... i know he dropped so many cocktails when he started serving people. passing his disposable vape of the day to the bartender and trying to get them to make him a drink that tastes like mago blue tropical razz ice or whatever other ridiculous flavor he's trying and failing to be subtle about sucking down that day. lamenting over the blue eyed hottie who is always around his family (and therefore very hard to hit on) who orders virgin frozen pina coladas (and come on, trevor could do SO MUCH with that if he just had time to get one line laid on him without his mom watching)...

3. i don't really go here but... all of the golf course/country clubs i've ever been to have had pools/gyms/kids clubs and... have you considered spin class instructor matthew knies OR kids club employee joseph woll... i know kniesy would be cougar nip but also that woller would be irresistible watching over a bunch of kiddos while their parents are out getting drunk by the pool/on the green...

apologies for the length but i'm in love w this little world you've made and i'd love to hear more about it!!

HIII OH MY GOD YOU DONT KNOW HOW HAPPY GETTING THIS MADE ME I LITERALLY SCREAMED!!! AAAA HELLO!!!!

i think while reading this i mustve said "you get me" fully out loud at least 12 times while reading this because like. you just get me... you Understand....

the 1634 dilemma is so real... like normie but rich auston trying to slip mitch a 20 and mitch going "oh like turf people dont really get tipped" and auston going "no its for you" and mitch smiling and going "aww thanks!! :D" and just Not getting it and auston is trying SO hard

but also Leafs Auston is soooo compelling to me when you wrote it out like that idek.... mitch going internally "oh god can i tell him i know who he is" and saying "yeah uhh,,, good shot. as usual haha" after auston takes a drive and being all nervous meanwhile auston is like "oh my god he knows who i am do you think hes impressed by me" and outward is like "thanks man." and claps him on the shoulder. and is like "oh my god i touched him."

auston on the tee box like "oh man mitch i mustve pulled something last night exercising my big strong muscles can you help correct my swing" and mitch going "sure (dying)" and coming up behind him and auston like slightly leaning over into him and mitch like. dies. passes away. rip mitch marner. and then for the next like 5 times he sees auston he blushes IMMEDIATELY. very cute

2. tz is absolutely obsessed w jamie like thats so real.... always talking abt him and everything... jack is so sick of his ass but jack "just doesn't get it, dude, he's so hot. look at him. sitting there." and jack looks over and jamie is wincing bcs he got brain freeze from his fucking virgin pina colada that he orders every time and jack just has to look over and watch trevor pop another zyn and say nothing. save him nico. nico save him.

3. OOO thats so smart and cute actually i love that!! my club didnt have that probably because the clientele were mostly older but like... having that is Smart. and like... a gym and classes open up So Many More job possibilities,,,, a sweaty just-out-the-gym kniesy like going down the hall and knocking lightly on the kids club door and hearing a "COMING!" and woller opens the door and he has like. a heart sticker on his cheek and his hair in pigtails and a little bit of marker on his forehead and kniesy feels his heart grow like. ten sizes. maybe woller takes the kids out to the pool and kniesy can see them and jsut... eyes. he purposefully books a water fitness course so that maybe woller can watch him in the pool too..... thats SOOOO REALNESS oh my god

please forever continue to send me little ideas abt this no matter how short or how long i love them all like i literally have been thinking abt this All Day and its been making me so happy..... RAHH like. THEM!!! THEY!!! im so happy you like my silly lil au that basically came out of me going "oh my adhd ass loved this job im sure mitch would love it too!!" ilysm thank you for sending me another ask about this

[mtvatlas]

NOTE: This is Billy's general and frankly MAIN universe. it is HEAVILY inspired by the works of Joe Hill and a smidge of Neil Gaiman for vibes. The Night Road is an element of Joe Hill's works and their adaptations and is first mentioned in his novel Heart Shaped Box.

Something happened to Billy all those years ago, what it was exactly he doesn’t say and no one who was around for it is either gone or conspicuously won’t talk about it. But he’s different now. Never been the same since— assuming he’s even alive. He certainly hasn’t been back there and if the people who knew him saw him, they’re not saying anything. It’s not clear if it’s because he doesn’t want to go or because he can’t go. There’s a story though, an urban myth really.

Here’s how it goes:

Back in the 80s there was this real hard glam rock kinda guy, real poster child for the whole 80s vibe— mullet, single earring, leather jacket, muscles, heavy metal, hot rod and a fuck you attitude. His name was Billy Hargrove and he was from California. His mom left him with his bastard of a dad when he was a kid then Billy got saddled him with a younger sister when he remarried. It wasn’t a good time for anyone but it was especially bad for Billy. See Mr. Hargrove was a real piece of work, he beat Billy just for looking at him wrong. Didn’t like anyone that wasn’t himself. And that made Billy mean too. When Billy was 17 things went really south and they ended up in some loser podunk midwest town to get away from the fall out. Billy got real angry after that. Drinking, fighting, sleeping around — the whole 9 yards — he really got wild. Like he had a death wish or something. And maybe he did seeing how things went.

So one night Billy had this date with some girl and he’s speeding along in his Camaro — as usual — and he doesn’t come back. It’s like he just drove into the night and got eaten up by it. Not so crazy either on those rural roads, all those trees and no street lights make it darker than dark. Most people thought he’d finally gotten into an accident somewhere or bailed out of town. But they never found a wreck and if he did skip town he’d left with nothing but the clothes on his back and a lot of very sellable shit behind — not exactly the actions of a dude who’s looking to head back to Malibu.

Only people could still hear his car roaring down the road. I mean you could NOT mistake this for anything else. Billy Hargrove was the only guy in town with a hot rod and the only one who drove like he wanted you to know he was coming for ya. His old man swore he heard it all the time, even as he had one foot out the door sayin’ he was dumping his wife and step-daughter and moving on to somewhere better. Every night he’d hear that fucking Camaro and sometimes in the day, sometimes just outside the bank where he worked as a security guard. Claimed he heard weird shit on the radio too, Billy’s heavy metal and some DJ talking about The Night Road. Said he heard screams of the damned. First he blamed the step-daughter for it but how the hell could she hack the airwaves? Finally he seemed to totally snap and said he was leaving this godless place and going somewhere better, somewhere a man like him deserved.

Never got somewhere better but he did get somewhere he deserved. He went missing one night, truck still in the driveway, headlights on and the driver’s door open. The only evidence was tire tracks. They matched Billy’s Camaro. They never found a body but his wife did get a call a few days later. It was Billy saying he’d took pops for a little bonding trip, wished her and the brat a nice life and hung up. She knew was a widow now and whatever trip they’d took it wasn’t any kind she’d ever understand. Or want to.

See whatever happened to Billy it made him different. Like some kinda fucking ghost rider or whatever. See there’s this road the NIGHT ROAD — it runs from from north to south following the I-95 but also it’s everywhere and it’s nowhere. Either way it ends in Florida cause you see it ends in HELL. And Florida’s pretty 1 for 1 on being Hell. To get on the Night Road there’s gotta be something a little dark in you, a little wrong, and once you’re on it you can get to places you never knew existed. It’s like Route 66 for the supernatural or something. And Billy? Billy’s on that road now, some kine of 80s grim reaper blaring Metallica while he comes to take someone to Hell.

He’s not Santa, he doesn’t have a naughty or nice list. No one really knows when he’s gonna show up or why most of the time. But if you piss him off or summon him well, we’ll never forget you. So if you’re ever driving on an empty road at night and suddenly there’s headlights behind you and a radio blaring, it just might be Billy Hargrove making his rounds on the Night Road. And maybe he’s there for you.

[emlovesstates]

California: Oklahoma, what do you call people you go out with but don’t try to sleep with?

Oklahoma: ...People?

----/-----

Oklahoma: If it’s any consolation, they got me here on a very misleading text message.

California: Technically, you are about to be screwed in the biology room.

-----

Oklahoma: I committed all 7 deadly sins in 30 minutes.

California: Wow, I've gotta hear this.

Oklahoma: I was angry and envious of my neighbor so I lazily seduced his wife and ate all his groceries and didn't share.

California: You forgot pride.

Oklahoma: No, I'm pretty proud of this.

---

Oklahoma: Hey, wanna take a shower with me?

California: I have a gun in that nightstand beside the bed. If I ever say no to that question, I want you to take it out and shot me because I’ve obviously gone crazy.

-----

Oklahoma: Bro, I had a dream we fucked.

California: Bro, relax it was just a dream.

Oklahoma: Huh, gay, I wouldn’t fuck you.

California: You wouldn’t?

Oklahoma: I mean, unless you want to-

------

Oklahoma: What’s sexting?

California: I'm not having this conversation with you.

---

California: Know why I called you in here?

Oklahoma: Because I accidentally sent you a dick pic.

California: *Stops pouring two glasses of wine.* Accidentally?

-----

Oklahoma: Look, last night was a mistake.

California: A sexy mistake.

Oklahoma: No, just a regular mistake.

------

Oklahoma: There are 20 letters in the alphabet, right?

California: Nope, there's 26.

Oklahoma: Ah, I must have forgotten U, R, A, Q, T.

California: Aww, that's cute, but you're still missing one.

Oklahoma: You'll get the D later ;).

-

Oklahoma, turning to California: Stop calling yourself hot, the only thing you can turn on is the microwave.

---

Oklahoma: We should get you to a doctor for a check up immediately. What if it happens again, and there isn’t anyone around to help you? What if it’s congenital? Oh my God! Was it me? Did I hurt you?

California: …You realize any other person that made their partner pass out on bed would simply feel really proud of themselves,

------

California: New York , you'll be working with Georgia and Oklahoma.

New York : Alright! My fantasy threesome!

Everyone else: *blank stares*

New York : ...Of people on a team.

------

New York , writing in a letter: "I'm going to kick.. your... ass."

New York : THERE. Now send it.

Oklahoma:: Dude, your handwriting's terrible, are you sure you want to-

New York : JUST DO IT!

later

California: So what does it say?

Georgia , reading the letter: They say they're going to "lick my...."

California:

Georgia :

California: Gross-

----

Oklahoma: Is the plural of milf/dilf milfs/dilfs or milves/dilves?

Georgia : Milfs.

New York : Milf/dilf is an acronym, you can't change the spelling to milves/dilves.

Oklahoma: Wait, they're acronyms? What do they stand for???

California: Mom in late forties, dad in late fourties.

California: I learned that from the movie called M.I.L.F that I saw the trailer of in theaters probably 5 to 7 years ago.

New York : Mom/dad I'd Love to Fuck.

Oklahoma: WAIT, WHAT THE FUCK—

Oklahoma: I NEVER REALIZED IT WAS ACTUALLY HORNY!

California: Oh, is it not mom in late fouries?

Georgia : What? No! It isn't!

California: THE MOVIE TRAILER LIED TO ME!

New York : California...

California: THIS IS WHY I DIDN'T THINK CALLING PEOPLE MILFS WAS ALL THAT BAD BECAUSE IT STOOD FOR SOMETHING HARMLESS IT JUST HAD A SLIGHTLY SEXUAL CONNOTATION!

New York : I am entirely unsurprised that this is coming from you.

California: OKLAHOMA, DOES IT MAKE SENSE WHY I CALLED THE DIARY OF A WIMPY KID MOM A MILF NOW BECAUSE I THOUGHT IT WAS LITERALLY JUST A DESCRIPTOR WITH FUNNY CONNOTATION!

Oklahoma: The word milf has been ruined for me.

Georgia : THAT'S ITS DEFINITION, IT CAN'T BE RUINED THAT'S WHAT IT MEANS!

New York : Y'all are dumbasses.

-----

Oklahoma: So anyways have y'all seen New York ?

California: I think they went in Georgia 's room 'studying'.

Florida : Doubt that. I heard groans there.

*Meanwhile in Georgia 's room*

New York & Georgia , fighting:

-------

California: Isn’t it weird that we can’t ride any other animal except horses. Like if horses weren’t a thing, humans would be fucked cause we couldn’t ride any other animals. Like riding animals wouldn’t really be a thing. We should probably be more grateful to horses.

Florida : Elephants.

California: Blocked.

New York : Camels.

California: Extra blocked.

Georgia : Donkeys.

California: Ultra blocked.

Oklahoma: That dick.

California: ...Followed.

Or

Georgia : Isn’t it weird that we can’t ride any other animal except horses. Like if horses weren’t a thing, humans would be fucked cause we couldn’t ride any other animals. Like riding animals wouldn’t really be a thing. We should probably be more grateful to horses.

California: Elephants.

Georgia : Blocked.

Florida : Camels.

Georgia : Extra blocked.

Oklahoma: Donkeys.

Georgia : Ultra blocked.

New York : That dick.

Georgia : ...Followed.

----

California: If you had too, what would you give up food or sex?

New York : Sex.

Oklahoma: Seriously, answer faster.

New York : I’m sorry honey, when they said sex I wasn’t thinking about sex with you.

Oklahoma: It’s like a giant hug.

California: Georgia , what about you? What would you give up sex or food?

Georgia : Food.

California: Okay, how about sex or dinosaurs?

Georgia : Oh my God it’s like the movie Sophie’s Choice.

Florida : What about you Louisiana? What would you give up sex or food?

Louisiana: Oh... um... I don’t know, it’s too hard.

Florida : No, you gotta pick one.

Louisiana: Um, food... no, sex... no, food... sex... food. Ugh! I don’t know! I want both! I- I want hot people on bread!

---

Cali : Florida kissed me!

New York : Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God!

Cali : It was unbelievable!

New York : Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God!

Louisiana: Okay, we wanna hear everything. New York , get the wine and unplug the phone. Cali , does this end well or do we need tissues?

Cali : Oh, it ended very well.

New York : Do not start without me! Do not start without me!

Louisiana: Okay, alright, let’s hear about the kiss. Was it a soft brush against your lips or was it like a, you know, “I gotta have you now” kind of thing?

Cali : Well, at first it was really intense, you know? And then, oh God, and then we just sort of sunk into it.

Louisiana: Ohh... So, okay, were they holding you? Or were their hands on your back?

Cali : First they started out on my waist and then they slid up and then they were in my hair.

New York and Louisiana: Ohhh.

*meanwhile*

Florida eating pizza in their house: And, uh, and then I kissed them.

Gov : Tongue?

Florida: Yeah.

Texas: Cool.

------

New York: Where's Oklahoma, California, and Georgia?

undefined: They're playing hide and seek.

New York: Where?

New Jersey: I don't think you get how this game works.

[spamtoon]

DCRC PKNA Week 11--Silicon Time!

thankfully our little book club break has meant i've had enough time to rest, get into what is potentially a new hyperfix, and feel motivated to read paperinik! ...and um ducks on the road. at some point that's not now.

you know what. im feeling ultra relaxation for this issue let's go to the cove. nevermind i got distracted and entered the pizza parlor

angus fangus cosplay

starting off and first of all i have to say dear lord. the airport experience is indeed horrendous as someone who has been on an airplane recently the sign "clogged toilets delay flights" baffled me. like i understand why but im also like okay. the toilet is clogged. there are two toilets per plane surely the line woudlnt get that long

im gonna be real i thought big nosed human guy was gonna be exclusive to silicon. like i didnt think he would just. also show up here

the idea that angus fangus hasn't had a day off makes me wonder like. was the new zealand thing last issue technically a work trip despite the fact he was there to save his tribe. because if so that rules

it's nice getting to see scrooge again despite the fact he's probably gonna be written out of the story. i missed him

thought he was wiping his sweat with his money for a second here i'm goign to be so honest. and in the second panel he's sillouetted for no reason it amuses me. i mean i know why hes threatening to ruin donald and uno's situationship but he doesn't know he's doing that

i love you chilling in purple shirt donald

i love their little dumb mirco-bickers. they're so domestic

rip to whatever italian pun was lost in translation here. unless there was no pun and donald is just like ughhhhhhhhhh because he does not care

hi little drink serving robot... these things did exist in the 90s but they were very very basic and mostly for flash. which is why it would absolutely get on the news when the only other news is its hot. donald's pose and uno's response is also so cute im. who would have expected comic silicon would have Uno Content

ohohohohoho... oh no, how tragic! how tragic it would be if a certain robot enjoyer skipped to the next town over for this specific day--nevermind he's on vacation too he's at the supervillain convention in florida (SORRY)

cog these car panels are cool... i am once again praising paperinik action moments

rest in peace all the computers at duckburg technofinancial im glad they at least got a viking funeral

it feels so werid to see angus fangus in a tank top and shorts. he belongs in a trenchcoat. and i just

the way he gazes into the distance makes this panel feel so much more contemplative than it actually is i love it

i love how the evronians have a whole division that's job is just. to deal with xadhoom. who is presumably killing evronians off camera all the time

i hope its a story where its the computer in the tower that did it like we saw in the start but he's just messing around. he's just like hi uno!!! :) remember when ducklair made you i was there when you were born uno and he's like oh BROTHER this guy STINKS !

:// i know the computer literally said the evronians might be useful but like i saw computer wanting to use the spore hatchlings and i was so dissappointed. especially disappointed that he wants to shut uno down. i think. at least i assume its a computer hence the name silicon if it was silicon and it wasnt even a computer there was a guy in front of it i would be SO dissappointed but im pretty sure its the first ducklair sentient technology at this point

i have absolutely zero thoughts about this robot rhyno thing its just an important enough detail i have to bring it up. actualy i do have a thought and its look at him. he's so fucking stupid looking. neutral connotation ITS FUCKING DUE AGAIN? FUCK OFF DUE. i gaslighted myself into thinking we were gonna get a different computer but no. okay. alright

of all the villains to figure out donald's secret identity im so. two. of course. not that he's going to get it i dont know if they'd go that route but

im gonna be so real after his introduction issue i fulyl expected them to never use due again

this panel si so dramtic (i LOVE the rainbow windows) but out of context its just like TWO !!!! im so mad

i know its the 90s but i like how it was confirmed later in ducktales 2017 if due did launch donald like that it wouldn't have done anything as long as he thought about the triplets (or maybe uno in this case) hard enough. our bravest man on two worlds... (yes i know they're different donalds)

IM SO MAD donald just kinda handwaving away the duck avenger's inveolvement. they hate each other so much

im so mad the way he's just. at channel 00 news now. due and the evronians deserve to be fighting each other for a while i think

and that was silicon!! i enjoyed seeing more of uno but i was disappointed the computer turned out to be. due again. but maybe im just a little loser who always wants a new robot OOPS i miss lyla lay hopefulyl we see her next issue considering we're going back to channel 00. hoepfully she had a really good vacation while this was all giong on