#and her storyline being about her fighting against the dehumanization that can come with that

[lgbt-aesthetics]

hi! i know you probably do the monster prom icons based on requests and dont fully look into every single character, but zoe is canonically a trans woman and it feels a bit uncomfortable seeing icons of her with other gender flags. (i know some people use their own pride flag on icons with an unrelated character, but its not usually the first thought when ppl see pride icons)

That's fair! I'll go back and tag all non-female aligned posts with Zoe as "ncc: zoe" for you to filter them out (ncc standing for "non-canon compliant") :)

[emachinescat]

II've decided to watch MacGyver from the beginning (again), and I'm live tweeting the experience with every tweet tagged with #savemacgyver. I thought it would be fun to share my collected thoughts from the episodes on here as well.

My Thoughts on S1E3, "Awl"

You're not only going to make it to 30, Mac, but you're going to make it to season 6. #savemacgyver

I love that Jack's bucket list includes finishing the Harry Potter books. Guess he's not a one-trick pony after all with sci-fi. A healthy blend of science fiction and fantasy is just what the doctor ordered.

Dylan Thomas reference! That poem was written about the poet's own father, and is about how everyone, no matter who they are or what they stand for, fights against death in the end. He's begging his dad to "rage, rage against the dying of the light," to not give in to death so easily, to keep fighting. Just taught this poem, actually, so I'm vibing with this reference super hard. Though to be fair, I'd be vibing with it anyway. Love Dylan Thomas.

Oh my gosh, this is the one with the fire extinguisher and inflatable escape! I'd forgotten which episode that came from, but I see GIFs of it all over Tumblr. Poor Mac especially, that looks like it hurts. Why is Lucas Till so good at being whumped?!

Jack hugging the fire extinguisher: Iconic.

I'll never get tired of seeing that polar bear! Do we know if he has a name?

I cannot get over how small and excited Bozer is, not a care in the world except for his movie. It's exciting to think about what's to come for his character growth, though I do wish he wouldn't have to go through all the things he does. :(

Jack's conversations with his dad at the grave are just everything. And I feel cheated that we haven't gotten to see Mac have the same kind of conversations at Jack's grave (though I firmly believe it's a regular occurrence off-screen).

Seriously, the way he talks to his dad is so familiar, so comfortable, so natural. It's like Daddy Dalton is right there with him and it fills me with so many emotions that I can't even.

The smile on Jack's face and the pride in his voice when he talks about Mac to his dad is the purest thing ever.

Also, that's a big-ass tombstone Jack is leaning against.

"Hi, Mr. Dalton. How's... life?" MAC! 😂

I can't tell you how much I love it when other characters talk about how smart Mac is. "He's a genius..."

First mention of Mac's dad. It's sweet how invested Jack is in Mac rebuilding his relationship with his old man. Also, I really wish we would have gotten a flashback of Jack's dad at some point. He seems like such an amazing man.

"If I could have one more day to sit and talk to my dad instead of that hunk of rock, I'd do anything." Jaaaaaaack 😭😭😭

Good old Ralph Kastrati. Single-handedly the most annoying character in all of cable television. Y'all have no idea what you're getting into with this one, dream team.

PUNCHFACE.

"My mom dated a guy like that once." Ouch. I'm about to start a Riley Zinger Counter for each episode. Her comebacks are 🔥

It's not just his face, Jack. Everything about this dude is punchable. Especially the way he says "yo."

Ewwww tightie whities no thanks imma head hom now byyye

Mac just snatched that can right out of Jack's hand as he was about to take a drink. Classic.

If I didn't hate Ralph before (spoiler: I did), then I extra hate him for the foie gras comment.

Yes, Jack, "asshat" is the perfect descriptor for this guy.

Is Mac seriously about to just make him some noise-canceling headphones? Who am I kidding? Of course he is.

I need more of Mac punching people in the face. For science.

Poor Jack didn't get to punch the punch face.

🎵 Snipers gonna snipe, snipe, snipe, snipe, snipe 🎵

Between the foie gras and the calfskin, they are really making this guy so easy to hate just sayin'.

"As soon as you're done saving his life, I'm gonna kill him, you hear that, smart-ass? I'm already dressed for the funeral." 🤣🤣🤣🤣

"He's g-good. He just... got kinda shot." Is that the medical terminology, Mac?

Jack using country music as a form of torture 🤣

"You're going to be seeing Yelp stars if you don't shut up!"

Have I mentioned how much I love the music in this show?

"I don't wanna die listening to country music!"

I love how bossy and grabby Mac gets when he improvises.

Another belt grab! I can’t get over Jack trying to keep his crazy partner from falling out of the window – it gives me life!

Actually makes me wonder if he does it because Mac’s taken a tumble out of a car window before. *fanfic brain engaged*

“You know how I feel about your puns.” C’mon, Mac, pus are the greatest forms of humor, bar-pun. (Geddit?)

Mc made a C in biology? I’m not buying it.

Dwwwwwww the sounds of the surgery. No thanks.

Though I will say this is one of the coolest (albeit grossest) things Mac’s ever done on this show.

What the heck is with that elevator door? It took a whole 10 years to close! I wouldn’t trust it. (To be fair, I don’t trust any elevator, but that’s neither here nor there.)

Sir Bleeds-a-Lot lol

Riley stepping in and taking charge once again. No idea how these two functioned before she came along.

Some seriously cool MacGyverisms in this episode. The whole process of “killing” Ralph and bringing him back with office supplies is so OG MacGyver and it gives me all the warm fuzzies.

Ralph: “You’re not a scientist, you’re not a doctor. So how the hell do you know all this stuff?” Mac: “...I read a lot of books?” I love Mac so much.

“Now go die.” Lolololol

The moment with Ralph wanting to call his mom and grow the hell up is surprisingly genuine and heartbreaking. Character development for a character in only one episode, hello, is that you?

“He’s dead, but he’ll get better.” MacGyver, 2016

Riley’s comeback about Jack’s plan to take out six guys if Mac takes out two is another winner. (Riley: 2, Jack: 0) Still, I love the whole, “Sure it does [count as a plan]. First, I’ll take two. Then, I’ll take the other four.” This is why Mac is the plan guy, not Jack.

“Or I can take them all out.” Mac’s confidence = 🔥

I might need to start a Mac sass counter too. Jack: “You seriously want me to put this on my face?” Mac: “Only if you like breathing.”

Jack’s left fist getting jealous 🤣

They really liked choking Mac in the early episodes, didn’t they? Not that I’m complaining. Actually, why did that stop? That strangled, panicked cry of “JACK?!” is music to my fanfic writing, hurt/comfort obsessed, whump-loving soul.

That cough - it actually hurts me to hear it! They should have given us some more repercussions or aftercare for Mac breathing in that gas!

Ralph fell asleep. Of course.

“You know, it’s weird. I’m glad he’s alive… but I still want to kill him. 🤣 I’m with Jack on this one!

Ralph: “A fresh start. I could use one of those right?” Riley: “Or a whole new personality.” ZZZING!!! Riley: 1 million, the world: -10

Oh he did not just call Riley “little hottie.” I’m back to wanting to kill him, character development be darned. So diminutive, dehumanizing, and objectifying. This guy has more than won the douchebag lottery. Riley can more than stick up for herself, but still. The way he speaks to her here makes me feel all kinds of gross.

He just said “ya heard” unironically. Can we let Jack punch him now, please?

Jack offering to let Ralph keep the cash he lifted if he gets to punch him is great, but even better is Mac and Riley offering to chip in money for The Cause.

Oh, yeah, Bozer was in this episode. I’m excited for when he is utilized more!

Bozer’s monster Mac is nightmare fuel!

“A letter? That you put in the mail? It’s 2016.” Hey, as someone who has an actual, old-school type pen pal, step off, Jack.

Mac: “You just gonna watch?” Jack, offended: “Not anymore.” How is it Jack is like Mac’s dad but they also bicker like 5-year-olds? This relationship is so strange, so wonderful, and the heart of the show in so many ways. I love them.

Mac’s words of wisdom about the nature of life are actually super encouraging and exactly what I needed to hear today.

I’d forgotten how much I love this episode – t’s so fun! Although the Codex storyline in season 4 is probably my favorite plot-wise, coming back to these early episodes is like a breath of fresh air! Excellent, excellent episode with so much to offer!

What are your thoughts on "Awl?" I'd love to discuss! :)

[harostar]

How do you think of how AoT handles Anti Semitism, X Men fallacy aside. I've heard of how the reason the Eldians are so Hated was a result of reprehensible things there ancestors had done, and there religon with Ymir was sort of based on a Lie.

That would seem problematic at first glance, But I did want to learn more from someone who actually knew the series. Especially as I do know the situation in real life has complexities regarding Cycles of hate

You know, I had kind of set this Ask aside and been unsure about answering it. But I think I will give it a poke, as best as I can as someone that is one-degrees of separation from Jewish folks. So obvious disclaimer that I am approaching things from an outsider’s perspective.

The series stumbled heavily in choosing to so closely use allegories related to Nazi Germany and the Jewish people. I think a large percentage of the problem is because the Holocaust has become short-hand in public consciousness for Genocide and atrocities. Those images are scorched into the world-wide mind, and unfortunately touching on it as an allegory or using it as the basis for fictional discrimination is a very, very, very messy and difficult thing. ESPECIALLY when the creator(s) involved are not Jewish, and don’t understand the deeper aspects of Antisemitism that have been weaved into Western culture for centuries. 

Isayama borrowed from European history, used a historical atrocity to create a comparison in his work. He.......made many mistakes in doing so, because it’s a messy thing to do even when you ARE familiar with how much that hatred is woven into a lot of European imagery, stories, and beliefs. A Japanese audience is probably not going to pick up on those elements, the way a Western reader might for better or worse. 

I think that decision has muddled and tainted a lot of discussion around the series. Some people outright call it “Nazi Propaganda” and refuse to associate with people that read the series. I would argue that we are the audience have a lot of digest and discussion in terms of how the “Eldian Allegory” plays in comparison to the other themes of the work. 

Because the series would have worked MUCH BETTER had he not made the decision to base his fictional ethnic group on a real one. It was a mistake that casts doubt on a work that focuses so much on themes so opposed to a “Nazi” or “Fascist” ideology.

The atrocities of the Eldian Empire simply being exaggerations and demonizing, not matching a simple history of neighboring groups/nations fighting each other for resources and land. The idea of Ymir as a Goddess or a witch that made a deal with the Devil both being false versions of what was simply....a girl. An ordinary girl that stumbled across something Otherworldly, and gained a power that was exploited. 

The history of the series is simply about one group gaining an advantage over their neighbors. The Titans served as numerous metaphors throughout the series:

Dehumanization, especially in times of war

Gunpowder 

Chemical weapons

Nuclear weapons

The largest theme that emerges particularly in the final arcs of the story are explicitly Anti-War, Anti-Imperialism, Anti-Militarism, and Pro-Humanitarian.

Hatred and Bigotry are learned, they are things that people actively have to teach their children. The most powerful counter to Hatred is simply meeting other people. Our shared humanity proves that we are more similar than we are different. 

(This is beautifully illustrated in a flashback, in which the Survey Corps are infiltrating Marley. They end up meeting a group of foreign refugees, who welcome them into their camp for helping a child. Though the two groups do not speak the same language, they are able to understand each other enough to share in a communal meal and then party the night away. Even when we come from vastly different cultures and don’t speak the same language, we can find common ground. There is a simple joy in how people are people are people, no matter what differences we might have.)

In terms of the problematic elements, I would argue that Isayama did not intend anything Antisemitism about his work. In particular, he frames the allegorical Eldians as sympathetic with most of the cast coming from this group. The story centers on their plight and spends the most time in humanizing them. Ignorance rather than Malice. It taints the work, but also clashes with the major themes of the story. 

Indeed, our common humanity is such an important theme. Hatred and Revenge are empty, only leading to further tragedy. Eren represents those emotions and urges taken to the extreme, and that is ultimately why he becomes the Final Villain of the series. Because he allows hatred to consume him, and loses hope in the world. He can only see “Us vs Them”, and cannot see a path forward that does not involve Genocide. It’s a tragedy that warns us about letting anger consume us, and the dangers of surrendering ourselves to Violence being unavoidable. Eren can see the Future, and therefore he is trapped with the belief that there are no other paths forward. That he must follow in the footsteps of his future self, no matter what. 

It’s an ugly, tragic turn that transforms the series protagonist into a Monster. Into a world-ending monster that his loved ones must now deal with, because they have learned the lessons he did not.

The thing that separates the heroes in this story is Hope, but also a willingness to recognize the futility of revenge and hatred. As the final arcs progress, they are increasingly confronted with the option to look away from atrocities or to take revenge on people. Increasingly, they choose to take a different path.

The story of Sasha and Gabi is central in this particular theme. Sasha kills soldiers that Gabi knew, and attacked her home. But she cannot bring herself to shoot a child, even one that is clearly an enemy. Gabi is a child indoctrinated into Nationalistic, bigoted views. She kills Sasha as an enemy, but then finds her world turned on its head when she accidentally meets Sasha’s family. She’s forced to confront the reality that there are no Monsters and Devils, just ordinary people just like her that have suffered tragedies because of war. 

When given the opportunity for revenge, Sasha’s father refuses. He gives the “Forest” speech, comparing his daughter’s decision to become a soldier in war to letting her go alone into the forest. He accepts her decision and the tragic outcome, but also HIS responsibility as an adult to not pass burdens of Hatred and Revenge on to the next generation. He will not punish Gabi for being a child caught up in war. 

And this becomes an important moment for Gabi and for everyone else. She is not FORGIVEN for her crime, but these people make the conscious choice to spare her. Mikasa shields her from harm, Jean regrets hurting her in anger, they all make the choice to treat Gabi as a CHILD and not a soldier. To recognize their responsibility in doing better than the adults responsible for them. They were Child Soldiers, but they make the choice that the next generation SHOULD NOT be soldiers. 

The series deals heavily in Trauma, especially the ways that War destroys people. The physical, mental, and emotional cost to people are heavily on display throughout the series. The cast have suffered emotional and mental injuries that will never heal, and they struggle with wanting a better world for the next generation.

Children are another big theme. We have the cast start out as children, becoming Child Soldiers, and eventually reaching Adulthood. As they become the adults, we have a new generation introduced in Gabi, Falco, Udo, Sofia, and Kaya. The series gets a little heavy-handed with how Children are the Future, and people have a responsibility to not burden them. To not force their sins upon the children, to not teach them hatred or revenge, to not use them as tools. 

Zeke’s storyline contrasts with Eren’s in that each brother has reached a different conclusion about the central problem. 

Zeke wants to snuff out their own future, preventing more Eldians from being born. Their lives are suffering, so the kindest thing that can be done is to kill them or prevent them from being born. Life is meaningless, because living means suffering. 

Eren takes his hatred to its most extreme, deciding that to protect his “In Group” (the Island of Paradis) that he will destroy everything else. He has taken Dehumanization and Us vs Them mentality to its greatest extreme. He sees no future where people can do better. He refuses to even let them try. He has no hope, he sees only ugliness in the world.

In contrast, we have what has become the alliance. The surviving members of the Survey Corps, the surviving members of the Warriors, and an assortment of people from other nations. A motley group of people of different backgrounds, races and political alliances that are all brought together by a singular belief that the world is worth saving. That it shouldn’t be a Zero Sum game.

That the world is very cruel, but also very beautiful.

Hatred, cruelty, selfishness, greed, militarism, nationalism, imperialism, racism, and bigotry have led the world towards possible destruction. The Rumbling as a metaphor for Nuclear War, humanity destroying itself because it cannot look for a path besides violence.

The pure Destructive urge that is Eren, contrasted against the other two parts of that Golden Trio. 

Mikasa, the girl that was saved by a single act of kindness. The strongest of all, but also so very kind. A girl that has seen the ugliness of the world, but also the goodness in it. 

Armin, the boy with a dream. The intellectual that once asked if it was necessary to abandon your humanity to win, but has realized that our shared humanity is more important. The one filled with hope, even in the darkest moments.

And of course into this, we have Falco Grice. The boy that embodies the central themes of the story: a child soldier that has seen the worst of humanity, and has decided the best way to fight is by being Kind. 

[ashintheairlikesnow]

The Break-Up: Kauri

CW: References to dehumanization, pet whump, past/referenced noncon/dubcon. Drunken violence and abusive behavior, from the POV of an abuse survivor with PTSD. PTSD flashback.

Takes place in the future of the Kauri storyline - actually, this is the furthest to the future I’ve written for him. The Dustin referenced belongs to @shameless-whumper.

Tagging Kauri’s crew: @maybeawhumpblog, @pepperonyscience, @haro-whumps, @18-toe-beans,  @burtlederp, @finder-of-rings, @whump-chains, @giggly-evil-puppy, @whimpers-and-whumpers, @whump-it, @lumpofwhump, @pumpkinthefangirl​

“Stop taking his calls.”

Kauri stops, hands still buried in his unzipped backpack, pulling Keira out to set her on the floor. He freezes like that, bent over, and slowly looks up. It’s been raining again - pouring like hell all day - and his curls are pressed damp to his forehead, running water down the sides of his face in little droplets that drip onto Derrick’s nice kitchen tiles. The old black sweatshirt he wears is a heavy damp weight pulling him towards the ground.

“What?”

“You heard me, Kaur.” Derrick sighs and sits back, beer in hand. He rakes a hand back through his shaggy dark brown hair - not the right color, but kind of close, sometimes, if the room was dark enough - and shakes his head. His eyes are green like Owen’s, but not like Owen’s at all. “I want you to stop picking up that fucking phone all the time.”

Kauri shakes his head, trying to laugh it off. He wipes a little drip of water that lands on Keira as he sets her down, hears her soft beep of gratitude in response. She rarely speaks around Derrick - he’s uncomfortable, like most people are, with Keira and what she can say and do.

“Derrick, that’s ridiculous. We, we knew each other before-”

“Yeah, I know. But I don’t like how you talk to him.”

Kauri frowns, slowly straightening himself back up. The air is a little chilly, he’s soaked nearly to his skin, but where normally he would peel his clothes away from his skin without hesitating, the look on Derrick’s face stops him this time. The little green cell phone, safely slipped into a ziplock bag against the rain, is safely tucked into his back pocket.

“How do I talk to him?” He asks, voice dropping just a little. He honestly doesn’t know - he doesn’t really listen to his own voice when he talks. 

Derrick takes another drink, and Kauri notices the other four bottles sitting empty in the blue recycling bin, and he silently mouths ‘oh’ as dread starts to settle into his chest, just below and to the left of the scar.

Derrick’s drunk. He knows Kauri doesn’t like drunk people, that he gets nervous and skittish around them. Kauri hesitates - he’s soaking wet and he doesn’t want to go, he needs to do laundry and get himself some warm dry clothes. He’d come here hoping to snuggle in bed with Derrick until he warmed up, do some other things, have a nice night.

But Derrick’s drunk, and Kauri feels his fingers tip-tapping against his own pantleg, the unconscious long and short taps that he sometimes controls and other times doesn’t.

“Like he’s your fucking boyfriend,” Derrick says, finally, and his voice is flat and angry. “Walking around with your head tilted, smiling like an idiot. Like you care more about him than you do about me.”

That’s because I do.

The words are trapped on Kauri’s tongue, behind his teeth, rattling around inside his mouth. The fear clenches his heart a little more tightly, skips its beat, leaves him shivering, a cold that goes so much deeper than the rain.

“He’s, I’ve just known him longer-” Kauri starts, his voice going weak and a little small.

“That’s not it and we both know it. You’ve always been like this about him, I-... I knew that when I met you, I did, but I guess I just thought… what’s he like? Huh? What about him is so much better than me?” There’s real pain in Derrick’s eyes, and Kauri feels an urge to walk over to him, to soothe all that pain with his hands and his mouth to, to… fix it, the only way he knows how.

“It’s not like that,” Kauri whispers. “He’s… we’re not together, Der, he’s just a friend of mine-”

“No, you’re not together. But you’re only not together,” Derrick says, and his words slur just slightly, as he gestures with the beer held loosely in one hand. “-because he doesn’t want you.”

Kauri swallows, hard. The words hurt, but he’s thought them before, late at night or during early mornings. He tells himself they hurt less for being so familiar. “I… I know that, Der.”

Derrick laughs, but it’s bitter and humorless, and the sound is terrifying. 

He takes another long drink from the bottle, and Kauri watches his Adam’s apple move as he swallows, the smattering of stubble there, the five o’clock shadow he hasn’t shaved away yet. “Fine, fair enough, you get that he doesn’t want you. Great, we’re making fucking progress from the last one of these fights, huh?”

“Derrick, you know I… you know I don’t like fighting.” Kauri leans over to pick Keira back up, stuffing her quickly back into his backpack. ��I, I’m sorry, this was a mistake-”

“God damn it, Kauri, you’re not running away from me again! I’m sick and fucking tired of it! Don’t you fucking dare!”

The words freeze him right where he is, crouched with his hands on the zipper, seeing Keira’s little red visual sensors staring back up at him. 

“I don’t… I don’t like fighting,” Kauri says, his voice faltering, breaking up, going weak and small and whimpering. “I don’t like fights, I’m not, I’m not running, I’ll come back later…”

“No, you’re not going fucking anywhere. Not until we’ve had this conversation. You run from every fucking fight, and I’m tired of it!”

I don’t know how to do anything else.

“He’s just a friend,” Kauri repeats, feeling tears prick at his eyes. He feels very small, now, and trapped. He’s dripping wet, cold and scared, just like the first night he’d met Jack - when he’d spent the day hiding in alleys and under bridges, feeling the water soak deeper and deeper into his clothes and under his skin. Just like the first time he ran away, but he was running from Owen then, and now he’s running from Derrick.

Who laughs again, even more humorless this time. He stands up and Kauri flinches back, but Derrick doesn’t seem to notice. He drops the now-empty beer in the recycling bin with the others, a sound not quite like shattering glass. His voice, when he speaks, is harshly angry. “If he’s just a friend, Kaur, why do you still take his fucking calls?”

“Be, because he cares about me, he wants to know I’m okay.” Derrick moves towards him and Kauri cringes, trying to pull the straps of the backpack back on with fumbling hands, and Derrick makes it to him first. He pulls the backpack away and drops it onto the ground with a heavy thump, leaving Kauri so, so glad he always puts a good layer of extra clothes at the bottom for Keira to rest on.

“You’re not. fucking. running. this. time.” Derrick smacks one hand into the wall behind him and Kauri jumps, squeaking, Derrick’s apartment closing in around him piece by piece by piece. 

The large, wicked scar over his collarbone starts to ache, a phantom fire and electricity that doesn’t exist any longer, the metal plate still screwed in underneath carrying the memory of what Owen had done to try and keep him from running, too. “It’s not asking much, you know? Just for you to not talk to him on the phone when you’re with me? To not, fucking, fucking leave every time he crooks his pinky finger at you? Is it? Is that so much to ask, Kauri?”

There are tears in Derrick’s eyes.

"Derrick, I-"

"Does he fuck better than I do? Is that it? Is that why you keep running back to him, why I'm not good enough? Is he just better at fucking you than I am? Was he trained to be a good fuck like you were?”

Kauri stills, blood draining from his face. “Like… like I was?”

“What, you think I don’t know what you are, Kauri?”

“I… I didn’t... “ Kauri can feel his breathing getting shallow, the room spinning a little around him. He’s never told Derrick, although he could probably guess at why Kauri wears a bracelet on his left wrist that he never takes off, that there are so many movies he doesn’t know even though everyone knows them, that he's never seen Kauri so much as look at something with writing on it… “I didn’t… Derrick-”

“Hey, calm it.” Derrick waves one hand. “I’m not going to tell anyone. If you aren’t getting what you want from me - or not enough of it, maybe that’s what this is about - are you at least getting it from him when you run off? Are you his goddamn bootycall, Kauri?”

"No.” Kauri’s response is flat, almost angry, insulted on Dustin’s behalf. Like he would ever be the way that I am, jackass. “Look… he doesn't, he doesn't at all. He doesn't touch me, Der, he doesn't."

"But you wish he did." Derrick's voice drops, not quite threatening.

Kauri doesn’t even bother, this time, to try and lie. “Yeah. I do. So what?"

"Jesus, Kauri, what the fuck is wrong with you? Do you even know that something’s fucking wrong with you? Does he know something’s fucking wrong with you?”

“He sure as fuck does,” Kauri snaps back. “But he never asks me about you.”

“Yeah, well, he knows he’s not in competition with a fucking ghost.” Derrick sighs, raking a hand back through his hair. Kauri feels so bad for what he’s done - but he’d told Derrick when they started that there was someone else, hadn’t he? He knew he had, he knew it, and… and he needs to get out of here.

“It’s not a competition,” Kauri says quietly, and Derrick turns to stare at him with wide, furious eyes.

Kauri regrets everything he’s just said all at once, breath hitching.

He has to run before there are green eyes inches from his, before hands go around his neck before he hears Owen whispering mine mine mine while his body is torn and broken and battered into the floor before he can’t breathe before-

Kauri heart rate acceleration, Keira says softly. She uses her lowest voice, the one that is barely audible, and it’s so muffled inside the backpack that he barely hears it. Derrick doesn’t seem to, because he places his other hand on Kauri’s other side, boxing him in.

“Grow some fucking balls and break up with me.” It’s Derrick who breaks the silence, speaking softly, tilting his head like he’ll kiss him, but he doesn’t close the last few inches of distance between them - only stares at Kauri with angry, hurting green eyes.

Brown hair and sandy blonde, what’s the difference, if all Kauri can do is hurt the Owens and Derricks of the world? If all he can do is care about someone else more? If all he does is run?

“I-I… I don’t… I don’t want to break up with you,” Kauri says, and he searches Derrick’s eyes with his own, trying to find some hint of the other man’s usual good humor and open affection. He can’t see anything right now but the hurt feelings and heartbreak, a terrifying anger that lurks behind them. “I don’t, Derrick, but you - we talked about him when we met, I know we did-”

“That was before! How long does it take to get over someone, Kauri?” Derrick pulls his right hand back and then smacks it hard into the wall less than two inches from Kauri’s head, and he winces away from the blow he thinks is coming next. Derrick snorts and grabs him by the face, thumbs pressing into his cheeks, forcing his eyes back. “Don’t fucking flinch, I want you to look me in the fucking eyes for once, Kauri!”

“I’m, I’m sorry, I’m s-so sorry, I didn’t-... I’m n-not, please, please,” Kauri pleads, tears falling out of control down his face his voice shaking with sobs he can’t quite let out, worried Derrick won’t want that either, that he’ll get even angrier at him. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry-”

Why can’t I meet someone who doesn’t get angry when he drinks?

Something filters in, and the air changes around them, a sudden drop in the tension. Kauri looks up, slowly with wide glittering blue eyes to see Derrick’s face sag, almost. “Oh, Kaur. I just - I’ve tried so hard. I try so so hard to give you what you say you need from me, and it’s never enough.”

“I’m sorry, Derrick,” Kauri murmurs, and he lifts one shaking hand to touch Derrick’s face, rubbing at his cheekbone with one thumb. “I’m sorry. Just… just let me go. I’ll go, and you don’t have to see me anymore. I’m sorry.”

“Kauri, I love you.” Derrick sniffs back his own tears, leaning over slowly until his forehead rests against Kauri’s, the brown hair - not blond, brown - brushing lightly against Kauri’s wet curls. “I love you, and I… Jesus, why does it have to be so hard?”

“I don’t know. I don’t know why. Because I’m-”

Broken. A pet. Remade. Not a person.

I’m not who I used to be and I can’t ever be him again.

“-... not great at relationships,” Kauri finishes, lamely, and Derrick laughs - still bitter but no longer particularly angry. He turns his head just a little, and Kauri accepts his kiss, presses back maybe a little more desperately than he should, chasing sensation and affection with the same need they trained into him so long ago.

“That’s the fucking truth. Shit, Kauri. I just… I just want you to fucking love me, is that so much to ask?”

Kauri freezes again.

Owen’s hands around his neck, squeezing tighter and tighter, his eyes so wide the whites showed all around the green, hissing and spitting in his face, why won’t you just fucking love me, Vince? I just want you to fucking love me, is that too much to ask, you piece of shit?

“It is too much to ask,” Kauri says softly, his heart beating like a rabbit’s in his throat, the dump of pure fear like icewater down his spine and to the tips of his fingers and toes. “It’s, it’s t-too much, Derrick, I’m sorry.”

“Why?” Derrick’s voice is a cry more than speech. He groans, letting go of Kauri’s face only to slam a fist into the wall next to his head, the anger back in sudden force, and Kauri whimpers, flinching away, curling in on himself, terrified.

I did everything for you, Vince, I did fucking everything for you! You piece of shit pet, I take fucking care of you, I’m so good to you, and you repay me by sending secret messages to another pet? I should fucking kill you now, I should fucking kill you, get on your stomach I said roll the fuck over!

“Because I love him already,” Kauri says, not quite pleading, his voice shaking but stronger. It’s what he should have said to Owen once, what he could never, ever say to Owen. “I'm in love with him, and… and you want me to not pick up the phone, b-but I’ll… I’ll always pick up the phone for h-h-him.”

“He doesn’t even want you!”

Kauri swallows hard against the odd mix of heartbreak and shame that twists around inside of him, and nods. “Not like that,” He says softly. “I know. It’s okay. I don’t mind. I’ll still pick up the phone. I, I need to go, Derrick. I c-c-can’t be here.”

“I don’t want you to leave me,” Derric says, in a voice like a broken sob. “I don’t want you to go.”

“I know. But I’m going to.”

I always do.

Derrick pulls away from him, wiping at his eyes, and when Kauri picks up his backpack and slings it back over one shoulder, all Derrick does is keep his back to him and pull another beer out of the fridge. Kauri stills, watching him, feeling the drumbeat of fear like something more distant now, in the back of his mind.

He just looks, for a second, at a man he hasn’t been fair to.

“Is… are we over, Der?”

“Yeah.” Derrick opens the beer with a clink and a hiss, taking a long drink. “Yeah, Kauri, we’re fucking over. I won’t turn you in, but don’t come back here. And delete my fucking number from your phone until you decide to give a shit about the guys that actually want your dumb ass and not the only guy on Earth who doesn’t.”

Kauri nods, once, his throat tightening. Then he turns and opens the door, walks back out into the hallway, down the stairs, past the parking lot. He knows where he’s going, and there’s more rain to soak him straight through to his bones - awful cold winter rain. Eventually he finds the bus stop he likes best on this side of town, boards the first bus that stops there.

“Hey, kiddo,” The bus driver says as she checks his bus pass. She sees Kauri four or five times a week, traveling around the city, sometimes curling up to sleep in the seats in the back. He knows her face but not her name - she knows his face and not his name. They’re both safer, this way, if anyone comes looking. “Not staying this time?”

“No,” Kauri says, finding a smile for her, then heading all the way to the back. It’s past midnight but it doesn’t matter, he buys all-day passes and they’ll let him sleep as long as he wants, until the morning people start heading to their jobs or write screenplays and novels in coffeeshops all over town, in a city built on them.

Once he’s all the way in the back, where the tinny radio music and the sound of the engines and air conditioning will drown him out, he lets himself curl into a tiny ball and cry. He’s not loud enough for the bus driver to notice, and he keeps himself safely slumped low enough that she won’t see him in his seat.

Eventually, just as he manages to mostly calm down, the phone rings. Kauri wipes at his eyes and picks it up.

He always picks up the phone.

“H-Hey,” He says, the sniffle still in his voice, heaviness like a sob. There’s a pause and Kauri looks outside at the streetlights and walking people, safe people, people who don’t have to be afraid of cops or someone seeing the barcode on their left wrist, as he listens. “Y-yeah, no, I’m, um, I’m fine. no, I h-haven’t been cry-... yeah, okay, you’re right. I have been. How do you always know?”

He screws up all the courage inside of himself, fingers on his free hand curling into a fist.

“Can I… can I come over? I had kind of a bad night..” Another pause, and then he sits back, legs dropping back down so his wet tennis shoes hit the floor. He starts, slowly, to smile - watery and uncertain but a smile, nonetheless.

“Hey, you don’t have to sound so worried,” he says, in a voice that probably makes it too clear how relieved he is to hear the worry. “I just… need to be somewhere safe tonight. Yes, I mean your kind of safe, not mine for once… Yeah, no, Dustin, I get that, I just-... no, he’s not dangerous, I mean he wasn’t-... I’m not, um, seeing him anymore.”

There’s a pause.

“Yeah, he got drunk and-... No, he didn’t, I swear, no I know you never liked him but he’s not-... just for a second I thought-... hey, can we talk about this when I get there? I’ll be there by 2 am, okay? Will you still be awake? I don’t want to keep you up... thanks. Thank you. I just need y-”

He swallows back the words he wants to say. He finds the words that don’t matter instead.

“I’ll see you then.”

[anorakofavalon]

The Beauty and the Geek: Why Brutasha Makes Sense

(AKA: An Open Letter of [Constructive] Criticism for Joss Whedon)

I wrote an essay in which I parse through my feelings on probably the most controversial pairing of the MCU. I settled on the relationship making sense, thematically, even though the execution was terrible. Sorry if it's a little long, but I'd love to have a discussion about this with any of you willing to take the time to read it.

---

Joss Whedon is great at his job. He’s flawed, like anyone else, but he’s a fantastic writer. I hardly need to remind you of his portfolio, after all. As a matter of fact, his portfolio is so very nearly spotless that his writing flaws come across, at least notably, in only one movie. Avengers: Age of Ultron. You might point out Justice League, but I’m discounting it because while there were flaws there, they weren’t all his, and not all of them were present in unison.

In Ultron, Whedon was pushed to his writerly limits. Understandable, considering that he was burdened with not only following up on the masterpiece that was The Avengers, but he had to do so while taking into account the events of the movies that took place between then and Ultron and where that left the characters. Not only that, he also had to setup the rest of the franchise and introduce a multitude of new characters. Doing any one of those three things is difficult, but doing all of them at the same time while also offering a coherent and enjoyable movie to fans is a monumental task. He did what he could.

One particular weakness of the movie, as pointed out by a large number of people after its release, was the relationship between Bruce Banner and Natasha Romanoff. Recently, people have warmed up to and adapted to it. But the damage is done. It left the impression on just about everyone that it was rushed and clumsily handled. I agree that it was clumsily handled, but I don’t think that it was necessarily rushed.

I’d like to make an argument for the relationship, and in doing so, maybe offer a critique to Mr. Whedon that might be helpful. My argument is the following: Bruce and Natasha’s relationship in the Marvel Cinematic Universe is thematically sound. It’s a natural step forward in both of their respective arcs, and I believe that Mr. Whedon made an excellent, and conscious, storytelling decision when creating the pairing. (He might even have had it in mind since The Avengers.)

But before I go any further on analyzing why I believe this, I think it’s important to dispel a few common and relatively superficial complaints about the couple. Firstly, some people prefer Natasha to have been with Clint, Steve, or even Bucky. I understand the general sentiment there, but I have contentions against any of these people because they don’t make sense in the context of the MCU. Clint is out of the picture because he has a family, and they are simply best friends, practically siblings to each other. Bucky and Natasha have very little screen time together in which they aren’t fighting by the time Age of Ultron happens. Steve is the most sensical of these options. But Steve and Natasha aren’t compatible people, at least not in the sense of a romantic relationship. Why? Because A.) She explicitly prefers more passive, “dorky” men, B.) Steve is still not over Peggy Carter, C.) Putting them together would be, aside from blindingly obvious, harmful to their wonderful friendship because D.) Steve and Natasha have, up to Ultron, had a very strictly professional relationship. They’re friends.

The other big complaint is simply that Bruce Banner seems to be too old for her. This is a, frankly, ridiculous complaint. Mark Ruffalo is one hot dude, and Black Widow is a fully grown woman perfectly capable of having emotions for whoever she damn well pleases. Somewhat older or not.

And speaking of those emotions, people have been quick to point out that they seemingly developed out of nowhere. I disagree, to a certain degree. The seeds of this have been rooted from the very beginning of The Avengers. Their first interaction was tense and interesting. Subtle things were present. Hints of flirtation (granted, at the time she was trying to manipulate and recruit him into helping SHIELD) were present, and there’s a few visual cues. Particularly when Banner says “I don’t always get what I want” while touching a crib. I recommend re-watching it.

And of course, there’s the entirety of Ultron, where they throw quick glances, outright flirt, and seem to have developed a close relationship via “the lullaby”. But the leap from Avengers to Ultron is quite wide, considering that a few things have happened, and besides, wasn’t she deathly afraid of the Hulk during Avengers? The answer to that is yes. And that’s why it was so jarring for practically everyone, including those of us who have embraced the ‘ship. Presumably, all of their bonding happened during Natasha’s stay in Avengers Tower between Winter Soldier and Ultron. The problem? We didn’t see that. We just saw that she could calm down the Hulk all of a sudden and had a good relationship with Banner.

I won’t defend the execution of this. It could have been smoother, without a doubt, but given the duress that Whedon was under with managing the storylines of literally every other character, I can forgive him. But what I can’t forgive him for is the execution of a few other things concerning the two. Namely, how he handled their conversation in the Barton household and the Ultron kidnapping.

The Barton Household conversation could have been positively wonderful. It was a little off-putting instead. I don’t think it’s a bad conversation mind you, it shows that Black Widow is willing to open up to Bruce Banner in a way she doesn’t usually do with others, and it really serves to humanize her further. The premise is this: Bruce Banner isn’t willing to be with her because he believes that he’s a monster and that he can’t give her a normal life (read: children). Natasha counters with the fact that in her view, she’s a monster because the Red Room made her one. And she can’t have children. The issue is clear: these are two separate, parallel, lines of conversation happening at once, and they get muddled, and viewers got confused accordingly. The way the dialogue was framed had disastrous consequences. Rather than achieving its goal the scene left us with the impression that she thought she was a monster because she couldn’t have children when really what she meant was that she was a monster because the Red Room dehumanized her and turned her into a weapon, and in the process, sterilized her.

While awkward, a lot of people later understood what was meant and the outrage died down. But it didn’t help that later in the movie, Widow was used as a literal damsel in distress when she was captured by Ultron for very little reason. Now, I’m a firm believer that strong female characters should be allowed to have love interests. Love isn’t a weakness. But this moment makes Black Widow seem like merely a love interest. She was helpless and a man had to rescue her. And it was, you guessed it, her love interest. This whole concept was a mistake. It could have been any other Avenger. Because if there’s one thing Black Widow is not -- it’s helpless. (And as a side note, that scene at the Avengers party where he fell on her chest? Ridiculous. Whedon pulled the same trick in Justice League and it was equally un-funny. It harmed his cause more than it helped. Comedy could have made the transition into the relationship less jarring for fans but he approached it in the single worst way possible. Also, the ass shots. What the hell Whedon? Like, I get it, but c'mon man. If you're gonna do it, at least be egalitarian and give us some Hulk booty too. Taika did it.)

All of these things combined gave people a less than spectacular impression of the couple at first, since it consumed both of their respective storylines for the entire movie, but I warmed up to it and so did others. Because despite the execution, I think it makes perfect sense thematically.

It begins in The Avengers. We’re going to briefly revisit the scene I mentioned earlier, where Natasha is recruiting Bruce. At this point we know a few things about them: Banner is relatively in control of the Hulk, but he doesn’t want to “Hulk out”, He is not afraid of Natasha, and finally, Natasha is very much afraid of him. At first she acts unfazed, but when he slams his hand on the table to test her there is genuine fear in her eyes and she pulls a gun faster than he can blink. He smiles away the tension, assuring her he was just testing her. But the power dynamic became clear. At first, Natasha believed she could manipulate him like she did Tony, but with Banner that wasn’t the case. He saw right through her. This remains a constant theme. He could read her like a book.

She’s weary of Bruce for the rest of the film, but it culminates when she faces the Hulk. Mr. Whedon lets the camera linger on her after her near death experience. Natasha Romanoff is shaken. This was incredibly humanizing for her because the Hulk is a force that she is truly powerless to do anything about, which must be an unfamiliar feeling for the world’s greatest assassin. Regardless, when Fury calls her to take down Barton, she walks it off. That encounter grew her character. A character that has remained fairly mysterious thus far except for one single moment, a truly wonderful scene where she manipulates the ultimate deceiver: Loki.

Loki thinks he’s got a read on her, likely because she was being very honest when she told Loki “I’ve got red on my ledger, and I’d like to have it clean.” Loki already knows, playing on her apparently emotional side by saying “Your ledger is dripping red, it’s gushing and you think saving a man no more virtuous than yourself will change anything?”

It’s all a trick, of course, because she pretends to let it affect her. But Black Widow knows how to compartmentalize emotions, and she handled the situation wonderfully. But I don’t doubt that what Loki said was true -- to a degree. That is Black Widow’s chief insecurity: that she is a monster, and she can never be a hero like the other Avengers because of her past.

A few scenes later, after the Hulk Out, Banner wakes up in a warehouse, where an old man is looking over him. The very first thing that he asked was “Did I hurt anyone?”. And that there is his chief insecurity: that he is a monster because he is a danger to everyone around him.

So you have two characters who both have terrible pasts that were forced on them by circumstances entirely out of their control. Both admire each other professionally as well as people. Let’s not forget that Natasha’s first interaction with Banner was of him living in an impoverished country in order to help people. Both are looking to become better than who they are, but I wouldn’t be surprised if Natasha was affected by this. Hulk has caused just as much harm as she has, but Banner is making up for it by healing others. She might feel she can’t do that because her skillset has always been to harm others. That’s why I think she’s one of the most compassionate of the Avengers, and always comforting her friends. Be it Steve at Peggy’s funeral, or Clint in Endgame when she’s the only family he has left. It makes total sense that Bruce and Natasha would turn to each other as friends and confidants. I don’t think anyone else in the group could understand their shared and unique type of trauma. And as Natasha said, “all [her] friends are fighters”. But Bruce is not. In her eyes, he’s a perfectly normal, mild-mannered gentleman. She’s not afraid of him or Hulk by the time Age of Ultron rolls around, but boy is he afraid of himself.

And they both want normality. So they propose running away. A bit on the dramatic side, but I can see why Whedon chose to use this idea. It makes the ending of the film more poignant, when she chooses to have Banner Hulk Out (and I suspect Banner understands why), thus sacrificing their fantasy of normality. Because they’re Avengers. The mission comes first. Still, it was far too melodramatic for my taste and out of character for both of them. Particularly Natasha. And again, it makes it seem like Natasha was Banner's love interest when it really ought to be the other way around, from a storytelling perspective and also because of the nature of the characters. That was a lapse in judgement from Whedon that weakened the presentation of their potential relationship.

I don’t think the relationship will remain completely intact by the time Endgame finishes, but I do think they’ll acknowledge it and give them a proper send off. It might not last, but their relationship helped them grow as characters. It allowed Banner to realize that he isn’t really a monster. That he is useful in his own right. And it helped Natasha get peace of mind. She isn’t a monster either, she’s a hero. And for better or worse, that means she has to do heroic things. Even sacrificing normalcy.

And plus, it's just adorable man.

[queenofthecommunistcannibals]

@yikes-trademarked

i mean yeah, the post has nothing to do with it just comes across as a bit of a slap in the face to people who are genuinely oppressed in a modern day society. how are asexuals ‘neglected’ and ‘isolated’? so most people experience sexual attraction and you don’t, whoop de doo. nobody actually cares if you do or don’t experience sexual attraction. if you could please give me an actual, real life, not someone-calling-you-a-plant-online example of asexual discrimination then i’ll take back my words

___

@yikes-trademarked I super love how instead of apologizing you are doubling down. Okay. I'll give you examples. Here are some general prejudices that affect aro and ace people. They aren't in any real order.

•Until the DSM V asexuality was considered a mental illness. Despite the fact that now we are "allowed" to "identify" as asexual HSDD (Hypoactive sexual desire disorder) is STILL considered a disorder. So instead of trying to help a person accept themselves as asexual allosexual (nonace) doctors will try to "fix" someone if they want to. Asexuality is still seen as something to be cured. It is still a dysfunction in their eyes, they just hide their prejudice a little better.

•Asexuals have been harrassed and raped in an attempt to fix them. Asexuals and aromantics are often seen as a "challenge" to be harassed into affection.

•Mainstream Christianity discriminates against asexuals as they do other queer identities. Here is one quote from a document called "Asexuality and Christianity" produced for Asexual Awareness Week (the fact that we get "awareness" rather than "pride" ain't great either)

"While celibacy is officially considered a good stance in religion, declaring oneself disinterested in sex is often met with disapproval. Asexuals have been told that they are rejecting God's gift of sexuality, that they are just as bad as homosexuals because they are not 'normal'...or people decide to pray to God for them to be fixed or for the Almighty to send the right person for them to fall in love with."

Or from the horse's mouth "Question: What do you call a person who is asexual? Answer: Not a person. Asexual people do not exist. Sexuality is a gift from God and thus a fundamental part of our human identity. Those who repress their sexuality are not living as God created them to be: fully alive and well." This was written by two Jesuit priests David Nantais and Scott Opperman. In other religions this is also often true. I know more about Christianity personally but I know similar doctrines exist in Islam and Orthodox Judaism. Not to mention the notion that marriage is the only acceptable option in these religions (unless you are Catholic clergy) and children are a necessity. Hell, according to the conservative traditional gender roles of these religions even an otherwise gender conforming aro/ace doesn't fit (not marrying, no kids, no family, all that).

•Dehumanization from all sides. We are told to be human is to love and that love is nearly always put in romantic or sexual context. Indeed NOT being capable of or experiencing romantic or sexual love is often used as shorthand for someone being a bad person (As Dexter [from Dexter], for example, becomes more sympathetic he develops the ability to feel sexual/romantic love. Robots in fiction can be asexual and aromantic but only if you want to show them as apart from humanity. Once you want to make it clear they have a soul they have to experience some kind of romantic urge or longing. Like Data from Star Trek) An article in Psychology Today by Dr. Gordon Hodson Ph.D. (who specializes in studying dehumanization) postulates (with a study to back it up) that asexuals are the most dehumanized sexual minority.

•On the specifically romantic asexual front in many places do not consider a marriage valid until it has been consumated.

•In media in which asexuality and aromanticism are not proof of evil they are judged to be not real. Here is one of if not our first actual representation in media. In the film Nymphomaniac the SELF-PROCLAIMED asexual character turns out to be a rapist who the protagonist murders in what is supposed to be a "woo! You go girl!" moment. AT BEST this says asexuals aren't real. We're just sexually repressed misanthropes. It might also imply that asexuals are base animals who are waiting to strike. THAT IS ONE OF THE FEW TIMES THE WORD ASEXUAL IS EVEN USED IN MAINSTREAM FILM! I cannot think of a single other.

•We are erased constantly in real life and in media. Here are two examples of active erasure, Jughead Jones (canonly aro/ace in the comics and coded as such since day one) was straight-washed for Riverdale. You may say "oh maybe they didn't know" (which is bullshit) then consider example two: Sherlock Holmes. Holmes (who I adore) has long been one of the few characters that has been "allowed" to aro/aces, but when the creators of BBC's Sherlock were explicitly asked if he was aro/ace they said he absolutely wasn't.

This is part of what I am talking about. We are not allowed to exist. We are invisible.

•Asexuals and aromantics are somehow toxic in our mere existence. We make kids think it is okay to be like us and are poisoning their young minds. We hate sex and thus are against the sex positivity movement.

•"Virgin" is an insult and we are treated as constant children. Somehow we have failed to grow up and cannot be treated as adults.

•And here is what I was really talking about SOCIETY IS NOT MADE FOR US! CULTURE IS NOT CONDUSIVE TO OUR EXISTENCES! I didn't know asexuality was an option until I was about 24. And before that I, like many aro/ace people, put myself in a lot of situations and relationships to "fix" myself. To make myself normal. My first and only sexual encounter was one of the things that sent me spiralling into a serious depression. I didn't know that it was okay to not be interested and to say "no.". So I said "okay" because I thought it was what I had to do to be a normal teenager. I don't know if I ever shared that online before so congrats you got me so mad I revisited my personal trauma. From childhood we are told falling in love is the ultimate reward. As teens we are told we gotta get laaaaaid. As adults not being involved in a sexual/romantic (often indistinguishable) relationship is WEIRD and TROUBLING. I have been told by people who don't know I am asexual that asexual people are "too weird" or even "creepy." The idea that someone might not be capable of romantic love sets off people's red flags that said aromantic might be crazy.

•We are surrounded by sex and romance constantly. Constantly. It is inescapable. In your real life I want you to pay attention to romantic or sexual imagry and storylines around you. There is no break. No alternative. This is what I mean by "invisible at best."

•Also, we are denied a history. It is very hard to prove absence but often sexless figures are immediately dubbed to be gay/lesbian because of their lack of interest in "appropriate" gender. Forgetting entirely that asexuality and aromanticism are options. Then when the question is raised they maybe a figure WAS aro and/or ace we are told that we are """"stealing"""" history. There is like one person in history we are allowed: Nikola Tesla. I love him very much, but he also fits the bill as a weirdo asexual. Because anyone who was the least bit acceptable to society must be allosexual. An example in reverse, Queen Elizabeth I, Britain's most beloved monarch, who never married, never was romantically or sexually involved with anyone (aside from being assaulted as a teenager), and was in her era very famously THE VIRGIN QUEEN who used her virginity as part of her persona to great affect. She is not considered asexual or aromantic and never has been. I have seen a biographer bend over backwards to get away from that accusation including using an incident where an elderly Elizabeth flashed a dignitary to make him uncomfortable as proof that she was allo. We can't have this awesome historical figure be one of those creeps right?!

•i am not even going into the history of how "sexlessness" was historically treated, especially in women. Let me just say that "spinsterism" was considered a danger to children and young women.

•NOTICE I WENT THIS WHOLE POST WITHOUT MENTIONING ASSHOLES WHO USE THE DISK HORSE AND BAR US FROM QUEER CIRCLES EVEN THOUGH SOME STUDIES FIND ASEXUALS HAVE LOWER SELF ESTEEM THAN ANY OTHER QUEER GROUP AND WOULD REALLY BENEFIT FROM A COMMUNITY!! THIS POST IS ENTIRELY EXAMPLES OF NON ONLINE PEOPLE BECAUSE SOMEHOW YOUR CONSTANT ABUSE OR REFUSAL TO RECOGNIZE ABUSE IS A-OKAY BECAUSE IT IS PART OF "THE DEBATE" BECAUSE SOMEHOW OUR EXISTENCE IS ACCEPTABLE DEBATE!

These are just some examples. People are free to add more but I am tired. If you want links I will dig them up.

Sincerely,

Fuck you.

I apologize for the "fuck you" but the exclusionist attitude is so disheartening. It is bad for not only aros and aces but also the queer community in general. We should be in this together! Fighting for one another side by side! We should be there for each other for hardships and for celebrations. I think it is vital that exclusionists really examine what and who they are actually fighting against.

[seyaryminamoto]

While I most certainly don’t see Azula as any sort of angel, I find it pretty laughable when people put her on the same end of the evilness spectrum as guys like Frieza or Palpatine. Not only is it inaccurate towards her, it’s a disservice to the other guys too. In what universe would Palpatine mentally break down over losing an ally.... that man would fry them with force lighting or chop their head off with his lightsaber. Or am I just taking crazy pills?

Well, can’t say you’re not taking crazy pills :’D but in a sense, you’re not wrong.

People often claim Azula is the greatest villain on TV, and I personally have no problem agreeing with that, but I guess the definition of what makes a quality villain really fluctuates for people. Some want villains who are complex, nuanced, with good motivations to be who they are, with potential for development, with good storylines that not only explore them properly but also hint at much more than there is on the surface.

And some people just want villains to be bad. That’s literally it. Nothing more to it.

Either thing is fine by me, there’s no need to get tyrannical about what people should consider a quality villain, but I obviously prefer the first thing. Another point I’d add for what makes a quality villain is what I’ve expanded on in other asks and posts: villains have to feel like they’re genuine threats, like they really can defeat the good guys. Azula actually won in Book 2′s finale, and while it was easy to predict she wouldn’t pull that off a second time, when she did that everyone was floored because that’s not how you expect things to go for the heroes. I mean, sure, it’s been done before, but you still don’t see it coming. And she’s, to date, the only Avatar villain who ever did something like that.

Freezer was a very threatening bad guy, he’s the entire reason the Saiyans were wiped out, and watching him fight against Goku was incredibly tense because of the stakes involved (the fight was excessively long, too, I don’t even know how many episodes that lasted and I’m kind of afraid to ask…). He didn’t need Azula’s complexities to be a satisfactory villain, he just needed to represent a genuine threat and he did. 

The same can be said for Palpatine, he’s controversial as a villain and constantly upstaged by Vader (truthfully, Azula is more of a Vader than a Palpatine, not because she was a good cutiepie once and got corrupted or anything like that, but because Vader was the one fighting the heroes on every film while Palpatine was the guy on the throne, and Ozai is the guy on the throne throughout the show, Azula is the one fighting the heroes from Book 2 onwards). But regardless of opinions on his character, Palpatine achieved more or less the same things Freezer and Azula did: he beat the good guys and virtually destroyed their hopes, forcing them to fall back, gather their strength and try again (and in Palpatine’s case, it took around two decades for the rebellion to defeat him, so that’s one hell of a punch he dealt to the forces of goodness).

The magnitude of their crimes, of course, is different. I have no idea just how many sick things Palpatine commanded to do, how many people he got killed other than the majority of the Jedi Order, but it’s easy to imagine how bad he could get; and Freezer went about his life destroying races and planets. Azula… she was certainly acting on the behalf of a conquering nation, but as I’ve pointed out soooo many times, she never really killed anyone even if she triumphed in Ba Sing Se. She still won, of course, but she didn’t win by wiping out the entire city (which she really could have done, the Fire Nation army came to occupy Ba Sing Se later on, we were shown as much, so she really could’ve commanded them to make some gruesome purge of Ba Sing Se and massacre their people… then, maybe, she would be on par with the other two in some way).

But anyways… basically, we’re talking about two completely different types of characters whose achievements were, in some ways, similar. Ultimately, Azula shatters because she is human, and she’s fourteen-years-old, and the weight of her failures and loneliness end up destroying her. Freezer and Palpatine? They were never designed to be “humanized villains”, to put it in some way. They were designed to be the ambitious villains who want power and to destroy everything that tries to stand in their path (or everything they have no use of). They weren’t supposed to care about anything other than themselves and their lust for power, whereas Azula, against her upbringing and wishes, did. And thus… Azula shattered.

Is it a disservice to Palpatine and Freezer to be compared to a fourteen-year-old girl? Eh, you could think that. I, personally, think it’s much more interesting when a villain has reasonable motives to be who they are, rather than just wanting UNLIMITED POWAAAH!, but that’s a matter of tastes and, well, experiences. Evil people like Palpatine are real, they exist: without going too far, quite a lot of those kinds of people are currently governing my country. Might be why I’m so much more interested in villains who have motivations beyond wanting power or money or what-have-you. But the point is…

Yeah, it’s pretty ridiculous to compare Azula to those guys. As usual, it’s short-sighted and a very blatant attempt to dehumanize her when the show actually very strongly implied otherwise (hell, the showrunners and creators all have spoken about Azula not being completely evil, so it’s not only true within the show but outside it too). And indeed, it’s relatively insulting to say Palpatine and Freezer were on the same level as a fourteen-year-old who shattered when things in her life stopped being exactly what she wanted them to be. But fandoms will be fandoms, eh? They see whatever they want to see.

[cienie-isengardu]

Some thoughts about TLJ

I rewatched The Last Jedi, and finally - after getting enough sleep - I’m ready to rant about some things. Spoilers ahead!

In general, I can’t complain about characters itself - actors did really great job, and visual side of movie was pretty awesome. Yet, story wise, there are some things that bothers me badly. In no particular order:

♞ I dislike the whole drama with vice admiral Holdo. Was there even any reason why she couldn’t tell Poe and crew about her plan beside creating an unnecessary conflict? Like, anything beside that?

Because I think that telling people under her command that there is a plan to save them & Rebellion, would benefit everyone. Or, why the hell she didn’t told the plan when Poe tried to overthrow her?? It doesn’t make much sense to me, and it feel so forced, just for the drama’s sake and I hate such moments. Especially since Holdo already made a comment about Poe, how hothead and dangerous he was. So, why not tell anything if not to raise the morale of people on the verge of hopelessness, then at least to make sure that Poe will not take actions that may jeopardize their chance??

Also: if she already decided to sacrifice herself by staying behind on the ship (why there must stay someone at all? couldn’t they programmed the ship or leave a droid in charge??), why it takes so many people to die for her to take any action to save her comrades? She could jump into enemy ship right away, or put the ship between running Rebels and enemy fire, and save so more people. It just, well, irritated me.

( Also, I’m kinda shallow here, but why the hell a fucking officer wear a dress instead of uniform, especially during warfare?? I may forgive general Leia, because well, this is princess Leia, but man, that dress kind of bothered me.)

Okay, so Holdo maybe wanted show Poe his place, but it sill doesn’t make much sense why he was denied simple knowledge that there is a plan that may save them all. It’s no wonder why Poe acted against her. Also, I kind of disagree with blaming Poe for the action against super-powered enemy ship. If Resistance didn’t destroy that ship at the beginning of movie, its canon could probably destroy or at least weaken the shields of their ship much faster, given the chance.

Now I kind of wonder, how the movie would go, if instead of Poe, Finn and Rose conspiracy, they actually were allowed to take some action to stop / distract  the enemy. I wouldn’t mind to see more team work between them. Or actually some infiltration of First Order by Finn and Rose.

♞  I dislike idea that Kylo is now the Supreme Leader, because that makes little sense. I mean, yeah, he was apprentice of Snoke, but why First Order would care to follow him? If the movie ended with some blowing mind victory thanks to Kylo’s command, sure why not. But there is so little about Kylo and his position or relationship with members of FO, that I don’t see why they would accept Snoke’s death like nothing happened. To be fair, I would prefer if Kylo  persuaded Hux to lie that Snoke is alive and all right, while working together to keep First Order in one piece.  I know they aren’t the biggest fan of each other (though it’s shame we saw so little of their interaction after TFA), but I guess A) not so many people were allowed to see Snoke and B) Supreme Leader’s death (and by hand of some girl from nowhere) wouldn’t have a positive impact on soldiers' morale and soon the fight for power would tore First Order for good. Divided FO wouldn’t last for long, and Hux seems like enough pragmatic person to seize the opportunity to take power for himself. It’s better to rule than being ruled by some asshole that can hurt and humilated you in front of everyone at whim.

Also, it could be fun to see both Kylo and Hux lying to everyone and comming with weirder and weider stuff to say knowing full well the other can’t deny that  otherwise the truth would destroy them all. Because why Hux wouldn’t agree to actually command his troopers the way he wants instead of being humilitated publicly? And to be fair, if Kylo was smart, it would be better to operate from shadows, while letting Hux to deal with political stuff. If only they were capable of working together. I mean, I don’t even need them to like each other, but some kind of Vader-Tarkin interaction would be nice.

To be fair, I would like to know more about Hux - as much as it was funny to see space fascist get pushed into wall or knocked into ground via Force the first time, it makes me wonder how often Hux was a target for Snoke’s anger? How often he was humiliated (and hurt) publicly? Is he glad that Snoke died or if he is so used to be treated like that, it doesn’t bother him anymore? I wonder about it, because as much as movies alone don’t give us much details about his past, he didn’t have much choice to be anyone than imperial /part of FO from what I’m remember from EU, since he was born in very pro-Empire family. I guess it’s easy to dismiss, since Hux is part of the evil regime (and enjoy it??), but in a sense he isn’t that different from Finn (a stolen baby forced to grew up as soldier for FO) or Kylo (a strong in the Force child with special blood line that became target for Snoke). I mean, in the end, the character’s choices are what matters the most, and some, like Finn, had a courage and opportunity to decide about their own life, but some were stuck for too long between forces too powerful to escape. Hux is part of evil regime, sure, but still I don’t enjoy how he became a punching bag for Snoke or Kylo.

(Also, how so pro-Imperial people like members of FO actually accepted Alien as their Supreme Leader??)

♞ And about Skywalker family... I’m not really that much surprised about Luke’s sudden lack of faith in the second chance. Jacen Solo, anyone??? Yeah. What got me really, is that Leia now thinks that too. What is sad, because she felt her son during battle and I assume she knew, he didn’t pull the trigger to kill her when he had a chance. Same with killing Snoke to save Rey. There is still some sparks of Light in him, but yeah, let’s ignore this.

Frankly, I’m so angry that once again there is a child that get trapped in the fight of Light and Dark and the adults, instead of stopping Snoke, blame Ben Solo for his Fall. I know, Kylo isn’t without fault, sure but I mean, Leia admitted in TFA that Snoke influenced / tempted her son since he was a kid (via mind-link or something like that, maybe??). Unless I mixed informations, that’s why she wanted Luke to teach Ben. I’m not sure how Snoke get so close to young Solo, especially since he was with Luke and other padawans, but this is so Jedi thing to fuck up. Why don’t find a way to stop Snoke, instead of blaming a struggling kid because there is darkness in him? Blaming to the point of thinking about killing him in sleep. So, Luke just saw something in Ben that scared him, but did young Solo already killed someone, planned a mass murder? I mean, Luke saw a Light in Darth Vader, full pledged Sith Lord who for two decades committed so many awful crimes and yet gave up so easily with his young nephew, so what the hell he saw in young Solo?  What was so bad about the boy/ teenager? Does Leia even knew that her beloved brother almost killed her son because he decided the boy was too dangerous? That is... fucked up. Jedi-level fucked up. And then Luke, like so wise and great master Yoda, decided the best solution is to hide himself and wait in peace to die. Just... good Force, I’m so glad that Leia is more like Anakin (and Padme) - always ready to fight, to take action instead of sulking somewhere far away from war. To take responsibility, when the legendary Jedi hide and sulk. Bless you, Leia.

♞ Frankly, I would prefer if Force-connection between Kylo and Rey didn’t became so tangible. I like the idea of them learning stuff about each other, but I’m not sure if I like the way it was presented in movie. And some memories from their past would be nice too, I guess.

♞ As much as I like Finn and Rose working together, I was kind of meh at the whole saving what we love thing. What partially comes from my general dislike for likely to happens romantic storylines, but also a fear the characters (especially females) will be pitted against each other in the next movie :(

Then again, I wouldn’t mind to see more about Finn’s situation in Resistance. We know he seen as hero - stormtrooper of First Order who run away, saved Poe (a trusted man of general Organa), helped to destroy enemy weapon - but  at the same time, does he really think about himself as one of them? Especially before the final battle? Or how similar and different is/will be his life from the one in First Order. Or how does he feel about his former comrades / other stormtroopers? Sure, Phasma and Hux pretty much hate him (and vice versa?), but I, for one, would like to see if Finn’s betrayal has any effect on other stormtroopers - children kidnapped and shaped by abuse / dehumanization into soldiers for regime that doesn’t care much for their life. The Resistence is the spark of rebellion, right? Wouldn’t be it nice if Finn somehow inspired people like him to fight back the regime for their own freedom?

♞ Still disappointed there weren’t Anakin/Vader!Ghost scene. I wouldn’t mind if he knocked some sense into characters. Starting with Luke.

♞ OKAY, to not make the rant only about negative feelings, I’m really glad that both Resistence (the good side) and FO (the bad side) is much more diverse than original trilogy. I’m also glad there is more female characters on screen, that they have a bigger roles than in previous movies. I hope their importance will not be erased with time. And some team work between female characters would be pretty nice too.

♞ Side note:  Was Yoda so happy to burn the Books of Jedi because these were about Balance and didn’t support his idea of Light as the only right and natural Side of Force? Okay, just my personal joke I made up with my close friend XD

♞ Side note [2]: I’m the only one that think Rey theme sound a bit like Beauty and Beast main theme??? The bells(?) sounds at least?

[perfectackeracy]

Eren and the titan trio

Comparisons between the titan trio and the Shiganshina trio are relatively common, mostly because they’re following the simple pattern of the leader, the other guy and the girl.

It even goes as far as comparing them in merch, 

Posters from Bessatsu Shonen July (left) and August (right), comparing the Shiganshina trio and the warrior trio

Of course, the only thing they have in common is the trio structure. Their common background, their relationship as well as the roles they fulfill, are too different. In fact, you can’t even compare each member to each other considering they overlap several traits proper to another trio member.

What I found interesting however, is how each warrior was an obstacle to overcome for Eren. As people who legitimately inherited the power of the titans, Eren defeating each one of them, alongside people’s help, helps in his growth as a character. These warriors serve both as parallels and complete opposites, due to them being Eren’s enemy while giving him the impression they were on his side. When the masks fell down, Eren had to overcome a reality he had to face and consider them as enemies he had to defeat in order to advance.

Isayama defined how he should conceive the rival of the protagonist:

Isayama: My editor Bakku-san [Note: Shintaro Kawakubo on Twitter] used to ask me “Who is the rival of the protagonist?” To be honest, I didn’t think about that question very much until Bakku-san sought for an answer. In the movie “Star Wars,“ the protagonist Luke has an rival in antagonist Darth Vader, a counterpart of Luke’s self-image - and he must not turn into Darth Vader. After Luke overcomes many struggles, the story just ends there. In Shingeki no Kyojin, Eren also has something he needs to overcome. It used to be characters like Annie, or his own dark side as he keeps in mind to avoid. However, in the current storyline, there is no such obstacle for him to conquer. As the manga progresses, I want to draw the process in which Eren discovers the existence he needs to overcome. [Source] - @suniuz

A rival is a person Eren should never become. Which is why you’ll find opposite traits in each of the warriors, but also a part of Eren in each one of them.

The comparisons are below the cut!

Eren and Annie

Annie comparing Eren to her dad - Ch. 17

Starting with the first defeated shifter and the most detached of the trio, Annie was the one who taught Eren her martial art, allowing him to stand a chance against Reiner in his titan form for the future battles.

Eren and Annie started to develop this relationship as master-disciple when Eren showed an interest in Annie’s moves. For Annie, teaching these moves to Eren was a sort of escapism from the reality of her mission: practicing her moves on that “suicidal blockhead” who wants to exterminate titans. Annie uses these moves to defend herself and defeat bigger opponents coming at her in one hit. Eren wants to learn those moves to fight and win.

What Annie noticed when she saw Eren’s personality flashing is how much he’s going to want to go against the flow.

Annie calling Eren special - Ch. 31

In this chapter, she notices how similar Eren and Marlowe are, because their mindset are the same: people have to walk in their direction to do what they think is right, while others just follow depending of the strength of the current. This is how Annie differs compared to Eren she doesn’t do what she does because she wants to. She isn’t motivated by revenge or moving forward for the sake of moving forward.  

As she stated herself in chapter 96: she doesn’t care about the titles Marley or Paradis could give her as a soldier or as a warrior. She only fights for their sake because she felt like she was pulled by the leash, so to speak. Despite that, she admits upfront to her fellow warriors and fellow soldiers she just wants to save her skin and calls herself selfish and evil for being “regular” in Marlowe’s point of view. While she does have her goals about finding her father again, she couldn’t protest further against Reiner’s pleas for the mission to continue, or her getting rid of Marco’s 3DMG, because in the end she still belongs to a camp.

Meanwhile, she shares common traits with Eren, such as their tendencies to let their limbs speak instead of their mouths. While Annie feels like Eren is more special than her, what she doesn’t know is that he doesn’t have any particular goal in life. Eren was very good at bluffing when it came to why he was different to people like Jean, but the fact is he lacks interest. 

Isayama’s highschool AU comes to mind. Especially on the fake preview for vol. 22: Annie and Eren stand aside from other students, who are socializing. Eren is depicted in this AU as a normie without goals or interests, and latest fake previews show he really isn’t interested by the nerds’ offer. Annie is a bad girl, an outcast, in a rebellious period. The difference is Annie being happy staying apart of the social ladder, while Eren wants to wreck it.

While Annie appears cold and doesn’t do well in teams and considers herself “bad”, she sometimes gets caught into acts of kindness such as watching over other trainees, who are her enemies. On the other hand, Eren doesn’t hesitate to dehumanize his enemies or sees them better once dead.

“The world... Is a cruel place.” - Ch. 32

When Eren learned about Annie’s real identity, he was met with complete disbelief and denial of reality. Until that point, he really thought humanity was some sort of monolith, but the revelation of enemies infiltrating the ranks lead him to question his belief of the world: how could a girl he was sparring with be responsible of the downfall of the SL and the Humanity? Amusingly enough, the moment where he was acting his doubts aside fits the period where Annie stopped the soldier recreation and decided to end it at once, which resulted in Eren rejecting a comrade and up for other betrayals while Annie sealed her fate in that crystal.

Eventually, they held a common upbringing: fathers detached from reality who use their progeny as a means for their glory. Unlike Grisha, Annie’s father realized his mistake, too late, and wants Annie to come back to consider her as “Annie” and not “Honorary Marleyan warrior”.

Interestingly enough, he doesn’t hold Annie as accountable as Reiner and Bertolt because she hasn’t hurt him personally. When Eren thinks about the attack of Shiganshina, the memories of the Colossal and the Armored come back in mind. It helps on the other side Annie was unconscious by the time Reiner reached the top of the wall.

Eren and Bertolt

Bertolt praising Eren - Ch. 16

The second one is less obvious because Bertolt’s motivations and background is unknown, though you could easily guess why he was in the warrior program.

Since parts of Bertolt’s background wasn’t revealed and since Eren always confronted him through Reiner, this one is going to be quicker.��

I think Bertolt might be the one of the trio who opposes Eren the most in terms of personalities: while  Eren doesn’t have any outstanding talent but wants to persevere in his direction, the multitalented Bertolt is meek, obedient and feels powerless to change things. The other difference is, while Eren sees his enemies as targets he must destroy, Bertolt hold respect for them. Their opinion of the other side is quite telling.

Bertolt also doesn’t take pleasure in killing so many people when Wall Maria fell or during the battle of Shiganshina, but saw it as necessary. Eren on the other hand, needs to kill his enemies or else he feels empty, whether they are necessary or not.

The opposition also lie in their respective roles and views: Eren -and Grisha as well- holds a romantic vision of the SC where they are those people who are brave enough to face the dangers of the external world instead of being confined in a cage. Bertolt’s role as the Colossal Titan and the mascot of the series, works as the strongest of the titans, power-wise, and is considered as the God of Destruction. In an old interview, Isayama stated he got influenced by Paradise Lost, in which Satan (the SC) opposed God’s rule (the Colossal Titan and its power). Considering Isayama modeled Bertolt after the Colossal’s appearance, you could interpret this piece of evidence as Bertolt opposing Eren, especially in the freedom vs. rule thematic.

Eren defeating Bertolt - Ch. 82

Notice this is probably one of the rarest moments when Eren defeats his opponent under his human form. Compared to every single opponent, the only ones he defeated in that form are random titans at Utgard, Dina and Bertolt. Bertolt was defeated that way because no normal human or titan can reach his nape, unless they’re equipped with the 3DMG. I assume Eren used all his gas to reach his nape with Armin finished distracting him. The other reason why Bertolt failed was him acting out of pity for an opponent who made believe it was a last struggle. By taking pity of Armin, Bertolt didn’t notice the titan dummy.

The other comparison, probably common to the titan trio, is their compassion towards their enemies, whereas the 104th was... mostly moved by Armin coming back rather than Bertolt being fed.

The titan trio reacting to Marco’s death vs. the 104th reacting to Bertolt’s death - Ch. 77 & 84

And that’s how you find irony in Bertolt’s death. While he had respect for his old enemies, he ended up being treated like a sack of meat.

Which leaves to the last one of the titan trio.

Eren and Reiner

Reiner teaching the responsibility of a soldier to Eren - Ch. 17

I saved the best for the last because people love comparing the two of them.

Since Reiner and Eren both hold the status of protagonist to some extent, people started comparing them. Their background is clear enough to draw some differences and common points, and would take a whole post. I’ll focus on their difference as characters and their aspirations.

Comparison between Eren and Reiner - Ch. 94

The two boys look radically different from these juxtaposed panels alone: whereas Reiner had his set of projects from the start, motivated by his desire to make his mother happy, Eren just wanted something exciting to happen so he could direct his feelings towards something or someone, in this case, titans, for barring him the road to freedom.

The two of them share an ambition which pushes them forward: Eren must move or else he feels empty. Reiner must go forward because he wants to become a hero. The two of them have been hit by reality several times. Eren by the revelations about their world, which prompted him to direct his anger at some sort of big boss, while Reiner’s ideal dreams have been shattered even before he approached the walls.

Anger and revenge are the only thing that keeps Eren’s spirit up. He almost gave up in the Reiss cave because he was nothing special, when he praised Historia for being awesome. When he learned the truth about the world, he was caught in despair, but that hidden conversation between Grisha and Frieda must have sparkled his desire of anger again, just like when Armin showed him that book. In the end, he walked in the same path as Grisha, which is the opposite of what Carla wanted.

By the time Reiner reached the walls, he couldn’t allow himself to disappoint his mother. During his time inside the walls, he lost himself as a person, muddying his own goals, from an honorary Marlean to a soldier protecting the walls. I suspect the latter not only emerged from the guilt for the fall of Wall Maria, but also from the affection his comrades gave him. Reiner gets his status based on the opinion of others while Eren lets his current frustration take the action. By the time we reach the current arc, Reiner has so far lost his initial goal and his friends. His former motivations gone, all there’s left is trauma and depression, when people need him to carry his duty till the succession ceremony.

There’s also the famous highschool AU used previously, with Eren the normie and Reiner the jock. The initial description of the school life there was published in ANSWERS:

In a nutshell, people who are good in sports are much more popular than those who are not. People are discriminated against if they are bad in sports. At Wall High, the football club, which was believed to be established by the “Pioneer Titan” 100 years ago, is absolutely popular. There are even people who claims that “You are not human if you do not belong to the Football club”. To Eren the Wannabe, Reiner in the football club is the person he wants to exterminate the most!

That description basically summarizes, in terms of nature, that Eren and Reiner are opposites. In a modern AU, Reiner would be the model student aiming for a big career, while Eren is just that guy who’s just graduating for the sake of graduating. In canon, the desire for Eren to destroy Reiner is further amplified by him working for the opposite camp.

Eren being disgusted by Reiner (Ch. 43) and swearing to make him and Bertolt pay (Ch. 46)

After Reiner revealed himself to be the Armored Titan, Eren was so disappointed in him and cursed him afterwards. After chapter 50, he still retained the desire to make his enemies pay. Character Guidebook and the finale of the second season of the anime also put the emphasis on him “destroying Reiner”.

And if Eren is indeed that amputee guy…

Ch. 93

…Well that can’t be good for Reiner, can it?

Basically, if I should make a simple comparison, I’d imagine the two of them sitting in a sofa, watching a cop series. Reiner would admire the protagonist because he’s noble and respected; Eren would become the protagonist to take the gun and finish the bad guy off.

On top of everything, one has the Attacker, the other is made for defense.

As a future perspective, I’d say the list of Eren’s rivals isn’t only limited to the titan trio, but also to Zeke, his own brother and probably Armin in the future. I’ll elaborate on this topic later.

[amorremanet]

For the meme: Hunger Games?

my all-time ultimate fave character: Katniss and Finnick. Like, I have a lot of them who I love, but Katniss and Finnick are tied for my number one spot.

a character I didn’t used to like but now do: Mrs. Everdeen took a while to grow on me, but by the end of Mockingjay, she really had.

a character I used to like but now don’t: tbh, it’s not that I used to like Peeta and now don’t, because I never really liked him and I still wouldn’t say that I dislike him, personally

—but there’s a lot about Peeta, especially with regard to his and Katniss’s relationship, that I find troublesome for various reasons (e.g., the way that Katniss, who is definitely canonically dark-skinned and is written against a backdrop that’s blatantly inspired by the racialized dimensions of classism and poverty, is always contextualized as Not Really Deserving the blonde white boy, who is regularly written in terms that are super not subtle about comparing him to Jesus)

To say nothing of how the text itself seems to agree with this idea, and does shit like go, “Wow, Peeta is oppressed by the Capitol too, like damn Katniss how much of a bitch are you, I mean your family and Gale’s only haven’t very literally starved to death because you and Gale know how to hunt, but wow, damn, Peeta had to help make the goat cheese and apple tarts and he wasn’t allowed to eat them because they were too expensive, that’s totally the same thing as people in the Seam literally starving to death”

Like, I’m not saying that Peeta and his family weren’t oppressed by the Capitol, because they were…… but it’s explicitly established in-text that the Capitol manufactures gradations as part of how they try to keep the Districts all fighting each other instead of fighting them, so yes, Peeta and his family did not experience the same thing as Gale, Katniss, and theirs, and part of that difference was how the Mellarks didn’t need to worry about getting enough to eat, they just couldn’t eat the expensive treats

The thing that bugs me the most, though, is the way that Peeta has supposedly been in love with Katniss since they were kids — except……… how? How can you say that he has truly been in love with Katniss when he, by his own goddamn admission, knew basically nothing about her and never even tried to get to know her for real? I’d buy that he was in love with his ludicrous headcanons about Katniss, but that’s not the same as being in love with Katniss Everdeen: Actual Person

And sorry not sorry, Peeta, but it is NOT true that you, “couldn’t talk to her”; you COULD have talked to Katniss and you chose not to talk to Katniss or deal with her at all in any context where you didn’t have the power of life and death over her (whether it was because she was literally dying of starvation, or because she needed you to make her look sympathetic to viewers in the 74th Games, and you needed her to literally and immediately keep you alive)

……Also, his version of how he fell in love with her has way too much in common with Dante Alighieri’s account of how he first fell in love with Beatrice Portinari for me to be truly okay with it, because Dante is one of the Western Literary Canon’s biggest examples of entitled dudebros who objectify women even while they claim to adore them (because over-idealizing someone is a form of dehumanizing them).

This said, I still don’t dislike Peeta. I just don’t think he’s that great, or that he’s as pure and innocent and cinnamon roll-ish as the books and fandom all make him out to be. Even without my misgivings about Ever*lark, ffs, he is one of the sneakiest, most manipulative characters in the series, and his BS sense of entitlement doesn’t only come out with Katniss

a character I’m indifferent about: Presidents Coin and Snow are both well-executed villains, but I don’t have a lot of feelings about them, personally. They were actually helped by the movies, for me, because Donald Sutherland and Julianne Moore were both really good in their roles, and it made me like them a little more, even if it still didn’t make me have feelings about them or anything

a character who deserved better: Most of them, tbh, but my top six are (in no particular order) Johanna, Madge, Rue, Annie, Finnick, and Gale

a ship I’ve never been able to get into: Katniss/Peeta, see above

But also? Gale/Madge. In my experience, the whole thing only exists so people can have some kind of “uptown girl” fantasy and go, “Look, see, I don’t hate Gale!!! Stop saying that I hate Gale!!! Just let me shove him off to the side and completely mischaracterize the shit out of him and pair him up with Madge for no reason beyond getting him out of the way so I can have Katniss/Peeta!!!!”

Also, Madge Undersee is a lesbian. #sorrynotsorry

Even worse: Effie/Haymitch. For one thing, both of them are gay. I don’t know what books everybody else is reading, but in MY copies of the books, Effie and Haymitch are both gay as fuck, why would you pair up a gay man and a lesbian like that unless it’s like, a situation where Effie and Haymitch get married so no one knows that they’re actually married to Portia and Cinna, respectively

But aside from that (because it’s admittedly a matter of my own headcanons even though I refuse to back down from them), I just??? Effie/Haymitch is just so blatantly a bunch of straight nonsense, pairing the two of them up because he’s a man and she’s a woman and therefore any time they exchange more than two words, it’s ~flirting~ even when Effie has HAPPILY AND ENERGETICALLY been a part of the system that treats all the kids Haymitch as mentored as if their lives mean nothing, and she’s been helping shepherd them to their deaths without getting that this is not good until it affects Katniss and Peeta (which only makes Effie get it because she likes them), and as much as Haymitch’s distaste for Effie is understandable, a lot of his lashing out at her isn’t actually coming from a place of, “I object to you for these fair reasons” so much as it’s coming from a place of Haymitch being a troll for the sake of being a troll, and I just

Why

Why is this ship a THING

Why is it so fucking POPULAR

I only understand this phenomenon in the most cynical way possible (i.e., the way where my explanation for it is, “they are so popular because it’s an M/F ship and, in the movies, both of them are white, even though Haymitch has dark skin and black hair, and the same racialized poverty-coded background as Gale and Katniss, in the books”)

Also, both of them are gay, sooooooo……… #sorrynotsorry

a ship I’ve never been able to get over: Katniss/Johanna, Katniss/Madge, Katniss/Finnick, Annie/Finnick

a cute, low-key ship: Annie/Johanna, and in some AU where Rue and Prim both get to grow up, I think they’d be cute together.

Also, Gale/Peeta. I’m just saying, it’s a perfect solution to the issue of the alleged love triangle because it means neither of them ends up without a ship, but Katniss doesn’t have to be with either of them.

an unpopular ship but I still enjoyed it: dude, my only M/F “ship that deserves to be called an OTP” for Katniss is called a crack ship by most of the fandom, even though she and Finnick have better-written relationship development than Katniss/Peeta and even though Finnick consistently respects Katniss Everdeen: Actual Facts Person and not some shiny pretty pretty princess headcanon about her

Sure, he may not want to be her friend, at first, because he assumes, like she does, that friends are not A Thing that’s going to happen, and if he maybe feels like he has been tasked with babysitting her and Peeta during the Quarter Quell, then… that’s not actually inaccurate, because he was kinda tasked with babysitting them by the other rebels.

Like, helping the two of them to survive and getting them out of the arena was the job that Finnick and Mags were given by the other rebels, and he had to be more hands-on about it than, say, Johanna, since Katniss wanted to have an alliance with Mags, which meant she had to have one with Finnick

So, no. The two of them aren’t exactly cozying up to each other in Catching Fire, because both of them are playing certain parts and performing certain versions of themselves based on a lot of assumptions about How The Fuck This Shit Works and a lot of assumptions about their roles and positions in everything (which admittedly end up being less than accurate… because both of them have been manipulated and lied to by everybody who’s pulling the strings)

Anyway, I shouldn’t go on about this too much more because it will make me get defensive and angry, but Finnick and Katniss are my autistic children and they are not a goddamn crack ship and if I had money, I would pay people to stop saying that so I could look at their tags and only see people tagging everything with them as “BROTP,” as opposed to that plus people calling them a crack ship

Also: Finnick/Gale, Cinna/Haymitch, Annie/Katniss

Also, I didn’t really LIKE Gale/Katniss, but it made me feel more things than Katniss/Peeta (even if I have more thoughts on that one, that’s the thing: they’re thoughts, not Feels; the only thing that I ever really feel about Katniss/Peeta is frustrated), and the whole, “Katniss is all but explicitly suicidal and that’s why she wants to mack on Gale” thing from Mockingjay totally does it for a lot of my angsty catharsis interests

a ship that was totally wrong and never should have happened: Effie/Haymitch. I went, “EEEUGH” out loud when they kissed, when I say MJ2 in the theatre, and I didn’t feel bad about it because: 1. all of the people who loved them collectively when, “AWWWWW”; and 2. eww, can you say, “what the fuck is this hetero pandering bullshit”

my favourite storyline/moment: The entire, “I drag myself out of nightmares and find there’s no relief in waking. Better not to give into it” scene, because I’m a human cliché and Katniss and Finnick are my autistic children. Also, any and every Joniss scene, because I’m garbage and a human cliché and I just want them to be together, is that so bad

a storyline that never should have been written: idk about anyone else, but I personally choose to live in a world where the series-long alleged “love triangle” was between Katniss/Madge and Johanna/Katniss, and the Katniss/Peeta stuff was only ever during the Games and not actually for real, and Gale and Peeta can go do each other or something, because fuck forced hetero love triangles, that’s why

Also? I’m willing to accept that Prim’s death was legitimately necessary for the plot and the narrative, in the same way that I hate Sirius Black’s death but accept that it was necessary for the sake of the story that JKR wanted to tell, so I can just go, “I see your point and I don’t begrudge you this in canon, but I am going to headcanon around it anyway because I don’t like it”

—but there was ABSOLUTELY NO REASON to kill Finnick. See, much like JKR’s senseless murders of Remus and Tonks in DH, Finnick’s death did nothing to make a point that hadn’t already been made multiple times over, and it added nothing to the story. Yea, like JKR before her, SCollins only killed Finnick for the sake of cheap shock value and reaffirming certain ideas about heroism that the rest of the series tried to deconstruct

It was pointless, it was senseless, it wasn’t necessary, and the story, characters, and readers all deserved better than that

Finnick Odair is happy and fine and he’s definitely alive, because all that unadulterated bullshit, “lmao finnick dies” crap never happened

my first thoughts on the series: uh. The first time I tried to read the books, I didn’t even get to the games themselves, because SCollins introduced Madge, introduced the backstory of her and Katniss being like kinda friends but kinda not but they’re not sure, and I was like, “ugh, why. I already know you’re going to make me suffer this bullshit between the two boys, but why would you hand me a totally valid and much more interesting F/F option. Why” and on the other hand, because Katniss reminded me too much of myself at a point when I wasn’t ready to deal with that

my thoughts now: We all deserved better, but I say that all the time about the HP series, too, so me feeling like the series was kind of a let down in various places and criticizing different aspects of it? Isn’t going to stop me from enjoying it

Also, Finnick is fine, Madge is fine, Effie and Haymitch are gay, Gale is bi, and most of my favorite characters are autistic because I said so, that’s why (—I mean, I actually have cases based on canon evidence for Finnick and Katniss, but my real rationale here is, “I want them to be autistic, so they are now, okay peace bye”)