#and he's with frank like frank frank i think im in love with buck frank oh shit im in love with my best friend

[warpedpuppeteer]

We keep talking about jealous Buck and how Eddie is going to assure him he's not being replaced but how about we talk about jealous Buck and how that makes Eddie feel?? Can you imagine, if that's what gets Eddie going?? Like, he's over there thinking fuck, this man is literally so hot for me he's going feral because I'm friends with some dude. Can you imagine Eddie liking this side of Buck? Liking the fact that someone loves him enough that they're getting possessive of him? And even as he assures Buck (which he always will), he can't help but think he wouldn't mind Buck being jealous over him again and staking a claim on him? Like, he's Buck's and Buck is his. There's nothing or no-one who can change that but the thrill that shoots up his spine at the thought of Buck staking a claim on him makes him go oh, O H. No one has ever fought for him before. Shannon chose to leave (twice) and Ana didn't even put up a fight (not that he wanted to but still) and here is Buck, they're not even together and he's all bothered by this guy who's apparently getting too chummy with Eddie and while everyone doesn't think twice about leaving Eddie behind, here is Buck, choosing Eddie, fighting for him, getting jealous and possessive over him, to keep him in his life and fuck if that doesn't make Eddie feel all kinds of thrilled.

[ghoulishhx]

PLEASEEEE #5 from the smut list PLEASE im begging. i'm going thru a lot of intense therapy that makes me delve into a lot of my childhood sexual trauma and i have taken up the habit of having compassion for myself (because that's the hardest part) through Frank as silly as that is.

I feel like he's already so attentive and worshipful but like...with a reader who has such a complex relationship with her body that goes past insecurity...idk but i know you'd write it well

5.) body worship

hi my love!! i wanna apologise for this taking me so damn LONG. i started it in my drafts, and i didn't look at my drafts for a couple weeks and here we are. i hope you enjoy this!! i hope you were ok with me making reader plus!size, this request went hand in hand with another one from my wife @carbonfiction so i thought i may as well combine the two! ok ily enjoy!!

MDNI 18+

My Masterlist!

──── ୨୧ ────

Pairing: Frank Castle x PlusSize!Reader

Contents: SMUTTT!!! very fluffy too, mirror sex, frank talks you through touching yourself, unprotected p in v sex (wrap it up irl please ty), squirting, praise, talking you through it, reader isn't comfortable in her own body, brief oral (F recieving)

Wordcount: 2.2k

──── ୨୧ ────

✦ pretty girl

“Babygirl, where are ya?” you hardly hear the lock to your shared apartment being turned, the sound of Frank’s heavy combat boots against the hardwood floor as he approaches your bedroom distant. “There ya are- well fuck me, doll.. ‘S that new?”

Your boyfriend's jaw drops to the floor in a comical fashion at the sight of you. He instantly thought the worst when you didn’t respond to him calling for you as he came home, now he can see how wrong he was. His eyes practically bulge out of his skull as his gaze drags along your barely clothed body, trying on a new set of lingerie. The swell of your large breasts poking over the (slightly too small) thin lace brassiere, a dainty bow resting above the underwire between your tits, paired with a high waisted pair of panties. The view of you from the side instantly rushes blood to his cock, making him impossibly hard from what he’s seeing. The panties accentuate the plush skin of your hips and ass, your love-handles poking out alluringly from the bottom as the fabric clings onto your backside, deliciously enunciating the curves and leaving not much to the imagination. The icing on the cake, above your underwear sits a garter belt, hoisting sheer mesh stockings that sit perfectly around the plush of your thighs. Frank’s surprised he hasn’t come in his jeans already just from the sight.

“Oh hi Frankie, I didn’t hear you come in.” you softly speak, turning to him, blushing at the way he’s looking at you. “Do you like it? I got it today, but I’m not sure..”

“Like it? Shit baby you look fuckin’ gorgeous..” he can’t help but reach out and touch you, shuddering at the feel of the soft fabric against his calloused fingers, gripping slightly at your skin as he traces his hands all over you, toying with the material, stopping at the dips in your hips. “What is there to be not sure about, doll?” 

“Hmm I don’t know, don’t ya think it makes me look.. I dunno.. Big..?” your face flushes as you timidly squeak out your query, feeling so bare and vulnerable in front of Frank. He’s seen every inch of you naked many times by now, but this feels like a whole other territory. 

“Sweetheart..” he begins as he slips himself behind you, hugging tightly around your stomach as you both face the large mirror in front of your bed, you can’t help but gasp at the feeling of his arousal poking into your back. “Too big? You're kiddin’ me right baby? You're just damn right. Damn beautiful..” 

“Frankie..”

“Shh baby.. You look so fuckin’ pretty. Tell me, tell me ‘I’m pretty’ sweet girl.” he whispers into your ear as he begins kissing behind it, trailing down your neck eliciting small moans from you as he tastes and sucks marks into the sensitive skin.

“Frank.. I-I can’t..” you whine, bucking your hips into his crotch, your desperation apparent. He halts the assault on your neck as he grabs your wrist, pulling your arm behind your back and placing your soft hand on his bulge. Fuck was he hard, he felt so hard in your palm you were sure it probably hurt.

"You’re lyin’ to y'self sweetheart. Prettiest fuckin' thing I’ve ever seen.. See what ya do to me? Huh? Feel that?" he starts rubbing your hand up and down his clothed length. His breathing deepens, growling into your ear from the touch of your hand. “All from lookin’ at ya pretty girl, ya drive me insane.”

He spins you around to face him as he captures you in a bruising kiss, pushing his tongue into your mouth as you swirl your own against his. Your free hand grasps the side of his face, pulling him closer into the kiss as you touch him through the rough denim with your other hand. Frank’s hands rest on your lower back, moving them downwards to your ass as he deepens the kiss, grabbing at the plush skin, kneading the fleshy dough. You can’t help but moan into his mouth as you rub his cock, needing more of him. He picks up on your neediness, spinning you back around to face the mirror.

“F-Frankie? What are yo-”

“Want ya to show me somethin’, okay? Want ya to show me how pretty you are when ya touch yourself f’me.” His tone is unwavering as he lowers you both to the ground, sitting you in between his large thighs as he rubs his hands up and down your own. “That okay with you, pretty girl?” You desperately nod, your need consuming you.

“Attagirl doll, make y’self feel as good as you look.” He hums appreciatively as you pull your drenched panties to the side, slipping a finger over your slick core, accumulating your wetness as you begin delicately toying with your clit. The view of yourself spread out in front of you makes you bite your lip, looking away as your skin flushes, feeling embarrassed to be witnessing yourself so lewdly.

“No way sweetheart, eyes forward okay?” he firmly grips your jaw, forcing you back face to face with your reflection, catching his own lust blown eyes in the process. “Want ya to see how pretty you look. No shyin’ away.” he tilts your head as he peppers kisses along your jawline. You mewl from the pleasure, eyes on your dripping centre, your flushed chest as your breasts heave with each breath, Frank’s light touches all over your body as he grips at your chest, squeezing and tugging at your pebbled nipples.

“That’s my girl, shit you look so good. Ya feelin’ good doll?” he groans as he runs his hands down your body, stopping at your soft stomach, rubbing comforting circles into the skin.

“Mhm Frankie.. S-so good.. Need you though, please..” you whine as you push your back against his firm chest, reaching behind you to grab at his hair as you meet his eyeline, needing him more than you ever have before.

“You’ll have me soon enough sweet girl, wanna watch ya fall apart f’me first, okay? You’re close, I know you are.” his lips return to your neck, licking stripes along the skin under your ear, causing goosebumps to erupt across your skin.

Your pace quickens as you flick at your throbbing clit, thighs trembling from the pleasure as your arousal drips down from your hole to the wooden floor beneath you. His hands move down to your legs, holding them firmly, stabilising you as ecstasy begins to take over you. He can’t help but move his fingers towards your entrance subconsciously, needing to feel you come undone around his digits. You welcome his fingers and sigh at the relief as your gummy walls clench around him.

“Fuck Frank.. I-I’m coming.. Shit” you whimper as your orgasm consumes you. Your hips jerk violently from the sensation, your moans of his name and curse words interrupted by broken sobs as you gush around yours and Frank’s fingers, arousal coating the mirror before you.

“Good fuckin’ girl baby, makin’ such a mess just from watchin’ y’self. That’s it doll, so proud of ya.” he continues fucking you with his hand, selfishly obsessed with the way you writhe from overstimulation. You’re completely sexdrunk, a babbling mess as you whine from his touch. He reluctantly pulls his drenched fingers from your hole as he places them into your mouth. You greedily suck them dry, swirling your tongue as you lap up your juices. You can feel his cock twitch on your back from the action, the hardness even more apparent. 

“I need you Frank.. Please..” you turn around to him as you straddle his legs, pawing at his chest as you grind your soaked hips onto his lap, drowning his jeans.

“Tell me that you think you're pretty, baby, ‘n I’ll give ya what ya want.” he whispers, reaching to your face and brushing the stray hairs behind your ear.

“W-what? Why do I have to-”

“Two simple words, doll, that’s it. Then you can have me.” his eyes bare into you as you flush even more under his gaze. He notices your hesitation, your refusal to say those words. 

“You’re tellin’ me ya still don’t think you’re pretty after watchin’ what I just saw, huh? Shit doll I think we gotta get those eyes tested.” he moves from beneath you, as if to stand up. You grasp at his clothes, holding him in place.

“I’m pretty, Frank. I’m really.. fucking pretty.” you whisper so softly between gritted teeth, the words almost silent as you close your eyes tight. The room falls quiet for a few moments as you peek at him through your eyelids. His face is covered by his iconic, cocky shit-eating grin. You open your eyes fully and smile back as he pulls you into a tight embrace.

“Damn fuckin’ right, my pretty girl.” he raises you both to your feet as he reaches below your ass, picking you up, instinctively you wrap your legs around his waist as he consumes you with another intense kiss. He places you down on the bed behind you both on your back, as he begins stripping his clothes (fucking finally, you thought.) You spread your legs in front of you, smiling up at him as he begins slowly pumping his cock above you, eyes locked onto your body. Typically you’d shy away from such an action, but tonight you truly felt as beautiful as he told you you were. 

Frank dips his head down to your chest, placing kisses across your breasts, licking stripes along every bit of skin shown to him as he kneels down face to face with your core. 

“Lookin’ like a fuckin’ dream baby, gotta taste ya real quick, alright?” you gasp as he begins devouring you, gripping your thighs with his hands as he pulls them into the side of his head, taking your spent clit between his lips as he suckles on the bundle of nerves. He moves his tongue lower to your entrance, fucking you with his muscle. “Taste like a fuckin’ dream too.. Shit..”

You wrap your fingers in his hair, tangling the strands as you grind your hips into his face.

“Needy fuckin’ girl, ain’t ya?” he coos, the vibrations making your eyes roll to the back of your head. “I can’t wait anymore to feel ya.” he pulls his face from your cunt and slams his lips onto yours. The heady taste of him and your arousal makes your head spin as you clench around nothing, aching for him inside of you.

He doesn’t waste anymore time as he rubs the head of his cock along your folds, accumulating your slick as lubricant as he pushes himself inside of you. His thickness always shocks you as he splits you in half with his length. You whine as he sheathes himself fully inside of you, filling you to the brim with his sex. His head instantly touches your cervix, so deep inside of you. He looks to you for any signs of discomfort, and you offer him a desperate nod to start moving. He picks up on your pleas and begins thrusting into you. His pace is both passionate and rough, primal desire taking over him.

“Feel so fuckin’ good sweetheart, so tight f’me, so pretty.” He moans above you as he slams his hips into yours, hands resting on your stomach as he ruins you. “This pussy was fuckin’ made f’me.”

“Mhm Frankie.. Oh god you’re filling me up so good, feels so good” the noises leaving your body are sinfully so beautiful to listen to. Frank’s addicted to you, the way you look, feel, sound. He groans at his view, you arching your back off of the bed as you grasp at the bedsheets white-knuckled. He knows he won’t be able to last much longer, you looking as good as you do, feeling as good as you do clenching around his cock. He knows you are also close, the way your body twitches beneath him shows that much.

“Gonna cum for me, pretty girl? Let me have it.” He slams harder into you, moving his thumb down to toy with your clit, revelling in the way your moans have pitched up. It’s not long before you’re milking him dry, silent moans leave your agape jaw as coaxes out your squirt. Your orgasm coats him, soaking the bed sheets beneath you as he growls at the pulse of your cunt. 

His thrusts begin to falter as his own release approaches, One.. Two.. Three more thrusts and he's spilling his hot, sticky seed inside of you, painting your walls white as he drains himself into you. He groans with each pulse of his cock, gripping at your waist, thighs, hip dips to ground himself. He collapses on you with a deep breath, fully spent and pussydrunk. He plants kisses all along your face and chest, pulling you close to him. 

“My gorgeous girl, look so damn perfect, did so good f’me.” Frank whispers as he wraps his hand around the side of your head, pulling you back to look at him. “My pretty girl.”

“Your pretty girl, Frankie. All yours.”

──── ୨୧ ────

a/n: this was veryy self indulgent so i hope thats ok!!

my inbox is open!

[saveahorserideaneddie]

thinking about the possibility of eddie’s sexuality crisis coming after buddie canon like…

he and buck start dating and in eddie’s mind he’s justifying it like “i’m not really into men im just into buck” and buck is the supportive boyfriend bc obviously eddie’s the only one who knows himself, and eddie labeling himself doesn’t matter to buck bc all that matters is that they’re the happiest they’ve ever been together

but then they have sex for the first time (obviously we don’t see anything bc this is abc not hbo) but while buck is in this perfectly blissed out state, eddie is panicking bc holy shit… is that what sex is supposed to feel like? like i thought i enjoyed sex before because i got off and that was that but this was…. what the fuck?????

and we get this sort if spiral moment where eddie wonders if he’s been gay this whole time and has just been lying to himself and is wondering what that means for him and shannon? like yeah he moved on from her but… looking back did he ever really need to? were the feelings for his girlfriends just misplaced feelings for buck this whole time? has he always felt this way?

and it gets to a point where buck thinks eddie is pulling away from him, and he gets really in his head about it remembering when eddie said that sex just complicates things, and how eddie had that whole crisis over marisol, and then buck had broken up with temu and chris was in texas so both of them were in weird places mentally and oh my god did i force myself on him? is he miserable bc he realized im not actually what he wants? is he going to leave me like everyone else does?

and meanwhile eddie is in therapy telling frank that he’s never felt this way about anyone before and that he thought he was enjoying sex before but it had never been anything like what it was with buck- that before it had been a means to an end but with buck it just felt right… and then frank has a really deep conversation about sexuality and eddie’s catholic guilt and explains that only eddie can decide if labeling himself is important or not

then we get eddie making a choice to either label himself or to not label himself (bc all that matters is that bucn is who he wants to be with; im not picky bc i have always been a gay/demi eddie truther, but unlabeled eddie has so much playing room and they could explore so much with that but i also know that realistically they probably wouldn’t put that much thought into the actual label but i digress)

and then we get a Kitchen Scene™️ where they are both super quiet and eddie tells buck they need to talk; buck automatically assumes eddie’s breaking up with him and starts apologizing to eddie and telling him he will give eddie some time and space, telling eddie that he will move on eventually like he has from everyone else. eddie is like “what?” and buck is like “aren’t you breaking up with me?” and eddue is horrified bc oh my god have i really been that distant? has my crisis really pushed me away that much that i made him think i wouldn’t tilt the earth on its axis for him if he asked??? and eddie explains his side of things, ending his little speech by saying “i love you” for the first time, and buck gets teary eyed and says it back and they share a soft kiss and eddie is like “it’s never felt like that before” and buck admits “it’s never felt like that for me either… but i think that’s what being in love does” and the episode ends with a fade to black of eddie leading buck out of the kitchen and down the hallway

[chvoswxtch]

I wrote all this in my notes app while I was watching the finale so this is basically me coming to you live from my couch while freaking the fuck out but if you know me you know chaotic rambling is what I do best

matt saying karen’s name when he woke up in the hospital was just like alex saying izzy’s name and that was all the confirmation I needed that whatever they had going on ended right then and there and it was never real to begin with

also how are you gonna leave your man that just got shot in the hospital?? notice how kirsten didn’t 👀

fisk not giving a single fuck that matt saved him and trying to kill him anyway is COLD

“a dead hero is better than a live vigilante” I see the season 3 writers are in the fucking building

also what is it with fisk and trying to poison people in hospitals?? sorry buck but you’ll never be westley that diva was one of a kind

frank showing up at matt’s apartment bitching about there not being any coffee is so special to me you don’t understand

“nightgown man” “blind boy” I don't think frank has ever called matt by his actual name it's always red or a bitchy insult and I love that for them

“aftershave and a haircut? that all for me?” / “yeah I did it for you” AND IM SUPPOSED TO BE NORMAL ABOUT THAT ???

“you’re not gonna do it with your ass out?” frank out here asking the real questions. I wish he would’ve. like charlie has no problem with nudity we couldn't get one quick ass shot as a treat for all our pain and suffering??

also frank looking at matt’s bare ass while saying that makes it even fucking funnier (alexa play that should be me)

I knew as soon as frank said he got a call it was karen and when she showed up I fucking SCREAMED MY BABY IS BACK

frank redecorating matt’s whole apartment with blood and brain matter was wild and his feral yelling throughout the whole sequence had my basement flooding if ya know what I mean

they might as well have jumped off that roof holding hands and GOD I missed their bickering I want a whole season just of that

karen literally pulled up like a disappointed mother that had to come pick up her two dumbass sons that got suspended for fighting I was dying laughing

GODDAMNIT JUST LET THEM FUCKING KISS ITS BEEN A DECADE I CANT HANDLE THE YEARNING MY HEART CANT TAKE IT ANYMORE FOR FUCKS SAKE

matt being a jealous bitch boy pls you had your shot

"you couldn't call me?" uh I don't know matthew, maybe bc there's three seasons of evidence of you not answering the fucking phone when karen calls??? you know who does answer the phone?? FRANK

also you literally heard both of their heartbeats you know they’re in love get a grip you have bigger problems right now and your ass needs to stay single until you get medicated

“avocados at law” just fucking shoot me in kneecap it would hurt less

THE FUCKING SKULL SHOWING UP IN THE DARKNESS?? AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

frank ripping through the task force and calling them fucking clowns is so *chefs kiss* 5 stars, no notes, all the awards

they were literally like omg we’re your biggest fans and he was like bitch fuck you

“you think you know my pain? you think you know my loss?” y’all didn’t have to do that how much emotional trauma can you fit in one episode was it a fucking game

that whole scene with frank and the task force reminded me a lot of the scene with billy and rawlins from s1 of the punisher and when I tell you I need frank to take powell out in a way that would make fisk clutch his pearls i’m not exaggerating

speaking of, I think fisk popping gallo’s head takes the cake for his most brutal kill over the head decapitation from s1 with the car door like my jaw DROPPED (not bc of the scene itself, but bc they actually allowed that) like that was some terrifier shit and i’m here for it spectacular gimme 14 more of em right now

heather girl I wanted to like you but you can kiss my ass and kick rocks bye

kirsten baby i’m still rooting for you go get your man (pls for the love of god make him go to therapy first)

bb honey pls be careful you’re doing amazing

that whole scene of matt talking about losing his sight with karen and then his ending monologue oh my GOD we are so fucking back (but seriously stab me it would hurt less)

now i’m wondering does josie now know about matt??? like does she know he’s daredevil???? or did karen show up with him like this is my friend daredevil and josie was like yeah he helped fuck up my bar but I guess he can stay he’s gotta pay for his drinks though repairs ain’t cheap

matt telling karen he’s glad she’s back was speaking for all of us welcome home karen the kids missed you

i’m sorry but if you keep francis david castiglione alive knowing that man runs on black coffee and blood thirty vengeance you’re a fucking dipshit what did y’all think was gonna happen

“you know about me?” frank LAUGHING is so real bc you know who this man is and what he did and yet you think he wants to shake your hand and be friends?? anthony from jersey you dumb whore

“we need an army” BITCHHHHHHH LETS FUCKING GO BABY

it’s the defenders. i’m calling it. the defenders are getting back together and they’re gonna be main ones leading the fight against fisk

the shot of matt as daredevil through the door of josie’s fucking CINEMA

are we gonna talk about how daniel's suspenders look suspiciously familiar to muse's??? I really thought bastian was a red herring for muse, bc there was an ep where there was a shot of muse's eyes and then daniel's eyes (or vice versa, I can't remember) and then the recap for this episode included clips of muse...but then no muse at all, not even mentioned in passing. usually something isn't included in a recap unless it has relevance to that episode. also the whole muse storyline was too rushed and tied up too neatly, I think bastian may have been a copycat or maybe hired by vanessa but I don't think bastian was the real muse and daniel is clearly a fucking psycho

also I am still in denial about foggy hear me out what if they switched up the vanessa storyline from the comics and brett was the one put foggy into witpro after learning what he knew about the port (with the help of madani) and they all show up next season 🤔 let me be delusional and live my fantasy

I don’t know if frank will be in the next season since they’re doing that solo punisher thing, so i’m wondering if we’re getting a dex and matt team up next season?? the enemy of my enemy is my friend and all that jazz. bc one, dex basically told vanessa it’s always on sight when he sees fisk, and two, if foggy isn’t actually dead, then I feel like matt might be open to letting dex help take down fisk (very reluctantly, but desperate times)

I have so many thoughts and feelings but i’m just so fucking excited to see what they do next now that we have the right team handling this next season but also I have no idea what the fuck to do with myself now

also nick fury, honey, it’s time to come home. another bald man in a sleek suit is trying to take over new york. pls come back to earth and help matt assemble some new besties thx

[clipboardbuckdiaz]

Sometimes I wake up and start giggling over how they could be filming Eddie realizing hes gay and/or Buck and Eddie kissing right now and we just dont know it. Like there is no POSSIBLE way Eddie is straight and that they arent going to be canon. They are so fucking in love with eachother, they just need a little push (preferably close enough that their lips are touching). After seeing Tim Minears interview about how Buck spirals when Eddie leaves, I just dont believe that they can’t be canon. Like what are the writers waiting for?? Whats stopping them???

ALSO, about Eddie being gay, I think that could be the only way to make the way he treated his past partners like a little bit okay. I know people are like “He loved shannon!” Yes, but not like that dude!! He fleed to fucking Afghanistan to get away from her, and when he came back he treated her like shit! And THEN, he says she was the “love of his life” and that he “loved being married to her”. HUHHH???? I think that because he grew up in a catholic household were he was pressured to “be a man” that he just didnt even take into consideration the possibility that he could be gay, so he played a role so he could be how everyone around him expects him to be. I mean that man said going on dates with women was a chore, and then had panic attacks when he and Ana started getting serious. There is no heterosexual explanation for that. I think that now that he was once married and has a son, its hard for him to believe he could be gay. I NEED him to start seeing frank again or for someone to force him to take an “am i gay” quiz and have a Nick Nelson moment but hes not bisexual just super duper gay.

2025 better be THEE year because im sick of this shit 😔.

[rdiowx]

Sucking his cock and telling him he’s pretty to see his reaction (thoughts on reactions from everyone?)

-💧

GRRR RAHHGG AHGETS RAGFS RASFF

Mb idk what came over me

Gerard would probably be so flustered, he’d tell you not to say that while unintentionally bucking his hips upwards. He loves being called pretty so much and you know that, its almost like you’re trying to get him to cum too fast.

Frank would probably be all cocky about it, he’d throw some stupid comment like: “oh im pretty huh?” And then tangle his hands in your hair and kiss your face. Stupid smirk present the whole time too.

Ray would get all shy and say thank you with a shaky voice, press a kiss to your forehead and tell you he loves you, he thinks you’re so pretty so its like an honor hearing it from you. He’s all smiley the whole time too.

Mikey would tease you a bit, tell you you’re pretty in a really tease like voice. “Yea, i think you’re pretty too.” And then pull you up a little to taste himself in your mouth, he might tell you you’d be even prettier if he came all over your face.

[eddiesgmcsierra1500denali]

Tbh I was radicalized this summer when you said we have progressed past the need for eddie therapy spec and fics. i havent read a single one since and probably wont again and my life has been so peaceful since… he literally does not need that. He just needs to feel secure and open with his feelings, needs to let people love him fully, and maybe some grief counselling/a support group to go to occasionally. If frank was going to help with that he would have in s3. (no offence to people who write/read therapy fics Im sure they are wonderful and profound and frank is actually good at his job in them)

helpppp good. thank you for giving me an excuse to talk about my beloathed therapy eddie because i think it’s so so so funny that after 8x06 the predictable response was that eddie needs to go to therapy. which i feel like there are soooo many things happening on both the character and the story level. like what’s funny is that frank really could not be a good therapist on screen because that’s not interesting tv. i’m not a therapist but i imagine that in fear-o-phobia he should have probably like. worked with eddie to decide on who he’d try to contact, figure out how the conversation might go, work on coping strategies, etc. but obviously eddie had to blow up. it’s funny because all of the other presumably “good” work frank does is completely off screen. because it’s uninteresting. so eddie wouldn’t have the kind of therapy arc people think he should have anyway, it’s quite literally just something people demand because they need a virtue signal that eddie is “trying” (and of course therapy is the only picture of “trying to heal”). the fact that he’s growing and dealing with stuff outside of therapy is like, not acceptable i guess? i think it’s also funny that as far as fic goes eddie is pretty much always in therapy but it is truly once in a blue moon that we see buck or really any other character talk about therapy.

anyway on the character level. obviously people who relate to eddie’s experience might find therapy really useful but i am not talking about real people i’m talking about a character who is fake. something that is very funny and interesting to me is that in the fear-o-phobia scene eddie is pretty much being resistant and mean and a bitch the whole time but when frank says “you can’t put all your feelings in a box eddie because someday it’ll blow up” and eddie literally already knows what’s going on (“…and take me with it”). actually eddie pretty much always knows what’s going on when he’s having issues it’s just he packs it all down. so seeing a character like this do the internal pathologized work of therapy with just. A Therapist. is… soooo boring to me. it’s funny because i do think frank was right. like in the end i think it’s sort of indicated that eddie is not only feeling this survivor’s guilt/pointlessness but that he also fears he’s going to end up like all the other people who share his pain. so he does need that sort of external pathway to dealing with his issues, like… exactly what you said… leaning on the people in his life… loving them and letting them love him… perhaps a support group or volunteering or whatever… in terms of an actual story these things are soooo much cooler and more fun than what therapy stuff can offer eddie specifically (like… strategies? identifying various cognitive distortions? idk). because he’s already a character who’s always in his head… it’s so much better. To Me. to see him work through things in other ways. such as by talking to a gay priest.

[itwasthereaminuteago]

Ok... Lots of spoilers ahead so please tread carefully if you haven't watched the last episode yet.

Things I didn't enjoy:

Overuse of slomo in that apartment fight scene, most of Frank's shots were done like that and I'm not sure why other than to please all the fanboys?

Too much background music with lyrics, this was throughout the series and don't get me wrong I think it can work well, for the end of an episode for example, but I just think there was way too much and it was jarring and distractingly literal. Killing me Softly anyone?

I think Frank was perhaps way too hardline considering his own series development, but maybe it's warranted as they were co-opting his symbol and as he rightly pointed out, they don't know anything about his reasons and suffering. I'm a bit torn on that one.

Trying to decide if the violence was more gratuitous than any other season... Probably not that much more? Remember the car door scene after all...

Reliance on too many flashbacks to bring up Matt's emotions

Things I liked:

How Matt didn't really give a fuck that Heather was OUTTA THERE. "I'm sorry you don't believe me..." 😂 I also liked that she eventually sided with Fisk because she thinks Matt is 🤪, or maybe even out of spite?

Oh Sheila...

Aww Buck brought him a teddy.

Frank dropping in on Matt 😍

AND EVIDENTLY SEEING HIS BARE ASS??

The rooftop dive/waist grab/"you're an asshole"/"shotgun."

Frank, Matt and Karen in the same room?! Ahhh, family.

Just realised Frank tidied himself up for Karen ☺️

I love how he offered them both coffee (although Karen's was obviously meant in a different way), have the writers been paying attention to the fanfics? 😆

The heartbeat chat?!

But yeah please don't make this a fucking love triangle gawd.

AVOCADOS AT LAW 😭😭😭

Frank in CHAINS in a CAGE? I'm barking I'm howling im- oh we're gonna have fun with this

Matt explaining himself to Karen before getting their little team together 💜

I really, REALLY wanted to see Matt kicking ass in a hospital gown as a one shot. They really missed a trick by not doing that!!

There was a lot I enjoyed but it definitely had its flaws as a series as well as the last ep. Looking forward to seeing what they do in the next lot!

[cal-daisies-and-briars]

❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️

i loooooovvvvvveee this one!! im so excited for all the angst leading up to bobby finding out (or i guess charlie realizing that bobby is eddie’s boss). so happy for eddie growing emotionally - him accepting that he’s in love with a man, and that man is the 2nd most important person in his life 🥲 someone he can’t lose. 💗💗💗

also, does frank canonically have a husband? or is that a headcanon ive absorbed? (i watched 911 in like 2 weeks and i thought he was paralyzed until i rewatched the s3 xmas ep and he stands up and is an amputee 🤦‍♂️)

HEY! Thank you so much! I am really excited for sharing it.

And tbh, I recently rewatched, and I don't think we know anything personal about Frank. So that might be fanon.

---

78 for ❄️:

---

"I know it feels like forever, but believe me. The wound isn’t as deep as it seems. You’ll get him back.”

Eddie’s eyes start to well up. “You don’t know that for sure.”

“I do,” Charlie says. “I do know.” 

“How?” Eddie asks, helpless. If someone has answers he is desperate for them.

“You feel like you’re at the end of something, but you’re so young. So ahead of where most of the people in our group are. You are going to do better, because you’re braver and stronger than you realize. You will get through this. And this will all just be a distant, painful memory. This isn’t your whole story, Eddie.” 

Eddie can’t stop the tears in time. He starts to cry, right in full camera view of Charlie. 

“I’ll prove it,” Charlie says. 

“How can you do that?” Eddie asks tiredly, voice tight enough to crack.

“I’ll fix things with my brother,” Charlie announces. 

“What?” Eddie asks. 

“Doesn’t matter what happens between you and your guy, okay? I’m letting you out of the deal. I will still talk to my brother,” Charlie says. 

“You will?” Eddie asks, blinking through his tears. 

“Yes. I will. That is the oldest, deepest wound in my life left with someone alive to mend it, and I will do everything in my power. If I can do that, there’s no way you can’t fix things with your son. Much sooner.” 

“You don’t have to… Just to make me feel better,” Eddie blubbers, sort of pathetically.

“Not just to make you feel better,” Charlie smiles. “It’s about damn time to be brave, I think.” 

Eddie takes a deep breath. “Yeah. Maybe you’re right about that.”

“I’ll let you know how it goes, okay?” Charlie assures him.

Eddie nods. “Thanks. I really hope it goes well. You deserve it.”

“I hope so, too.” Charlie sighs. “I guess it’s time for me to plan a trip.” 

“Your brother doesn’t live in Wisconsin?” Eddie asks. 

“No. I moved states decades ago. He has too.”

“Yeah, I get that,” Eddie mumbles. “Well, good luck. Safe travels. And uh… I believe in you.”

“Thanks, kid. I believe in you, too.”

▪️▪️▪️

After his call with Charlie, Eddie thinks a lot about being brave. 

Not about Buck. That’ll take some courage, sure. But not the most courage. And it’s not the most pressing need, either. He loves Buck. He loves Buck so much. He wants them to be together, and he wants to be a good partner for him. Someday. Hopefully. But he knows that none of that will make him happy long term if he doesn’t fix things with his son. 

He needs to be brave for Christopher now. The way Charlie is being brave with his brother. 

Only, he doesn’t quite know how. What is the line between being brave and trodding over boundaries? How does he make things better without risking making them worse? 

[lenaboskow]

hii, do you know if there are any s8/mustache!eddie theories that consider the historical significance of fighter fighters having thick mustaches? i feel like it may come up in the show and i want to theorize but im too lazy to think about it in a void lol

no idea if there’s any full theories with research out there but as someone who’s never met a firefighter without one (and i’ve met probably half the city’s department atp) (no i don’t think my city has any female firefighters) let me use this an excuse to theorize for you

louis don’t read this <3

it’s one of two things if they go this route. one, eddie is going full repress mode before he breaks out of the closet full force, or two, he’s making fun of gerrard.

for the first thing, i don’t mean repress as in follows gerrard. i mean repress as in trying to lean into the super masculine stereotypes of firefighters, which includes the mustache. i think he’ll spend more time hanging out with the friends from the other houses who have wife and kids, the whole thing. buck will definitely notice and force him to go to therapy, and frank will make him go to church. he shaves the mustache before he confesses his love to buck

for the second thing, it’s literally just that. eddie making fun of gerrard for having a stereotypical mustache in a house where no one has it. and buck refuses to kiss him until it’s shaved

[diazpatcher]

7x09 my thoughts

"my resignation" WHAT BOBBY WHAT. this man needs extensive therapy bc why does he think he doesn't deserve good things.😭

Athena being the supportive wife she is. "Walking away from the 118" THOSE ARE YOUR KIDS

Edmundo noches is at it, with his ex dead wife's doppelganger 💀 the date is waaaaaaaaaaay to romantic for 2 people who aren't an official item.

Eddie baby no, you're not only emotionally cheating you are full on cheating bro 😭💀 pls let her be part of his mental breakdown.

Athena fighting for bobby even when bobby doesn't want to anymore:( Athena is such a great wife I can't fucking handle it.

Finally they talk about Bobby's struggles, of balancing his past and his present and the guilt he has😭 as much as I want retirement for the Grant-Nashes I don't want Bobby to leave 😭

Bobby is straight up evil, he wants to retire and before he does so, he takes care of every single person in his team "they're not the only kids you're raising Mother Hen"😭

BUCK is the Chef😭 BRO THE WAY HES ACTING MAKES ME THINK HES GONNA DIE😭

Buck and Eddie cooking together😭

Buck looking at Bobby the way a kid looks at their dad waiting for praise 😭 im not okay bro that whole sequence fucked me over. BOBBY😭 7 years😭 "here's to seven more" 😭 Their father son relationship makes me want to chew on glass 😭😭😭 "it's been my pleasure kid"

BUCK MEETS THE DOUBLE, OMG. THE WAY HIS FACE FELL😭 He is so fucking funny I can't 😭OH OH BUCK IS MAD. He used the Back door💀😭 The way he's trying to figure out if Marisol is still around lmao😭 "Eddie who's kim" HILARIOUS ACTUALLY. "Marisols my girlfriend, she just a friend" "a friend who's a dead wringer for your dead wife' OKAY BUCK😭 Buck has healed he is ready to confront and pull Eddie out of his ass. The way Eddie is trying to justify his actions, "does this poor woman know thay she is a carbon copy of your dead wife"

"Im worried about you" HUSBAND BEHAVIOUR 😭😭😭

The kids🥺🥺😭 Wilson-Han family is so special to me❤️ Chim knowing something is wrong with Bobby!!!

I knew that the Council woman was gonna be a bitch. I knew it.

I feel so bad for Kim. She got pulled into this mess it's insane. "But I'm not her" THIS POOR WOMAN. she knows Eddie just wants to replace Shannon with her 😭😭 heartbreaking. "which was not fair to you"

Hey anyways Eddie did that after buck talked to him even his break up with his ex wife's doppelganger is colored by the interactions with buck.

"I never meant to lead you on"

"but you did" 😭 "I guess she was the love of your life" STOPOP😭😭😭

Eddie should be talking about this with Frank 💀

"living happily in Florida with his husband" lmao💀 Okay either Amir is gonna help Bobby or he's gonna torch the place. oh he's gonna torch the place. right.

Mom and Dad are fighting 😭 oh god Athena is so desperate. She's trying so hard. "You're making your round to say goodbye" 😭 Athena still worrying about Bobby being suicidal. "And you're standing on the ledge of a building again, Bobby." 😭 I'm in shambles. somebody glue me back together.

Athena doesn't know about the Book...

"I threw it in the trash on the night of our first date." She gave him hope that he was worth something 😭.

Garica is a BITCH. idc what happened to her she's a bitch. Who is she to refuse Mara a home😭 just bc her idiot son refused treatment. They're ripping apart a family they don't give a shit. Fuck CPS. fuck those 2 especially. ripping Mara out of Karen's grasp what the fuck. Fuck this what the fuck.

WHAT. THE FUCK. IS KIM DOING. SHE GOT A HAIRCUT AND IS.WEARINF SHANNONS DR3SS???????? Eddie looks as horrified as I do. She's pretending to be Shannon IM GOING INSANE. Kim is so smart istg. "You have to let me go" 😭 She is doing the right thing but my god this is psychotic to watch 😭

Eddie finally FINALLy letting go of Shannon is so 😭 he deserves peace. Eddie breakdown era 2.0 let's go. he sounds like a little boy so scared and angry and hurt. CHRIS WALKING IN WITH MARISOL !!!

Bobby, Bobby??? bobby... oh. oh no. He is, he's drinking. Oh my god. he dreamed of his dad while HIS HOUSE IS ON FIRE. ATHENA!! he gets to save his family this time. BOBBY???? HE HAD A HEARTATTACK WHAT.

[angel28716]

9-1-1 season 7 ep 9

the end of this is completely incoherent I'm sorry

-HELL YEA BOBBY DESERVES THIS

-oh my father doesn't think he deserved this

-MY FAMILY

-Ravi my beloved

-tommy needs to d*e LET BUCK BE EXCITED

-FUCK U GERRARD

-them cutting the buckley-diaz moment yall suck

-fuck you congress woman I will end you

-fuck you mean resignation Robert

-kim jumpscare

-AMIR MY BELOVED

-athena best wife ever

-IM GKNNA CRY

-MOTHER HEN

-IM TRTING TI EAT MY PASTA BUT I CANT STOP CRYIN

-IM GONNA THROW UP

-bobby my love don't endorse tommy

-SOBBING

-OH GOD KIM

-OH MY GOD HE RECOGNIXED HER

-omg omg omgomg buddie confrontation

-I feel ill

-madney and henren my beloveds

-oh god if there's an issue with maras adoption I swear to fuck

-OMG HE TOLD KIM

-shitting myself

-eddie go schedule a session witj frank

-eddie rlly idealized his relationship with shannon

-poor kim

-amir please dont do smth rash here

-my parents😭

-AAAAAA

-THW BOOOOOK

-get out of hens ass you cunt

-IM GONNA KULL YMSEF

-IM GONNA KILL A BITCH

-MOTHERFUCKER WHAT?

-KIM GOT BANGS TO LOOM LIKE SHANNON ARE YOUNFUCLING KIDDINF ME RIGHT MOE

-THE SCREAM INJUST SCRUMOT

-HELLO?!?

-THIS IS FUCKED

-baby boy you're not broken

-OH GOD CHRIS SAWE HER

-OH MY GO

-HELLO EHLLOE HELP EHST IM

-BOHBY NO

[ghoulishhx]

Hiiii Olivia, I absolutely adore everything you write I'm literally obsessed.

Can I request no.5 from the prompt list pretty please, but I was thinking that maybe the reader worships franks body ya know, I little twist, only if you want don't feel pressured.

Ok love you, bye!!!

5.) body worship

hii coco my love, thank you so much :')) i adore YOU and im literally obsessed with YOU. i had so much fun writing this one so i hope you enjoy :3

part 2 - show me

18+ MDNI !!

My Masterlist!

──── ୨୧ ────

Pairing: Frank Castle x Fem!Reader

Content Warning: filth, pure filth, SMUT OBVIOUSLYYY, oral (m!receiving), masturbation, praise, dirty talk, face fucking, mentions of pillow humping, submissive frankie if you squint

Wordcount: 1.3k

──── ୨୧ ────

✦ heart eyes

“You’re so fuckin’ beautiful doll.” Frank moans into your mouth, exploring your body with his hands, tracing every curve with his fingers.

“All you Frankie, that’s all you.” you whisper, pulling away from his lips and attaching yours to his neck, tasting his soft skin and nibbling on it.

“Think ya fuckin’ blind baby, I’m nothin’ compared to ya.” he chuckles, squeezing your waist and pulling you closer to his crotch, both stood at the edge of your bed.

“That’s where you’re wrong Frank.” you say, pulling yourself away from his neck, pushing him down to sit on the bed, leaving you standing, towering over him. He shoots you a shocked look with a raised eyebrow, unsure of where you were going with this. You fall to your knees, grabbing the hem of his shirt, pulling it up as he helps you remove the garment. Running your hands down his chiseled torso, you hum appreciatively. 

“Fuck, you can’t sit there and call me blind when you look like this baby.” your hands wrap around his waist, gripping him harshly. You don’t peel your eyes away from his body for a second, wanting to take in every crevice of his muscles, all the scars, memorizing them forever. “It’s like you’ve been fucking hand-carved by the Gods themselves.”

He chuckles at the comparison, Frank can’t help but look away as the blush creeps up from his neck, painting his face beet red. He isn’t used to this love, these compliments. He believes with every ounce of himself he doesn’t deserve any of this, but despite all these thoughts of self-hatred, you shine through. 

“Shh sweetheart, y’dunno what ya sayin’, promise ya you’ve got the wrong guy.” he mumbles, reaching down to pull you back up to him to straddle him, but you stay firmly planted on the ground, shooting him a daring look as if to say “I’m not fucking done yet.”

He raises his hands in defeat, allowing you to unbuckle his belt and pull the dark blue jeans off of his legs. The moan you make just at the sight of his aching cock straining in his boxers makes his member twitch. 

“Don’t get me fucking started on these legs, these thighs Frankie. How on earth did I get so lucky?” your heart eyes are practically bulging from your head as you go to palm his bulge through his underwear, smearing his already leaking precum around the fabric.

“I ask m’self the same question every damn day, pretty girl.” he groans, running his hands through your hair, allowing you to make him feel good for you. His head throws back into the plush of your comforter as you run your fingers up his thick thighs, playing with the prominent vein on his cock through the fabric.

“You dunno what you do to me Frank, I get so turned on just thinking about you.” you whimper, pumping his length through his boxers. “I hump my pillow every night you’re out.. fuck picturing it’s your thigh.” you place your mouth over his underwear, tentatively licking stripes up his clothed bulge. Frank starts bucking his hips into your touch, dying to feel more of you. “Just being in your presence makes me so wet I can’t think straight, I have to stop myself from just taking you right there and then..”

At this point you can’t help trailing your hand down your stomach to your soaked panties, pushing them to the side as you delve your fingers inside your drenched hole, the view of your perfect boyfriend turning you to desperation. Taking your mouth off of his cock, you pull his boxers down to expose his length. It instantly slaps against his stomach, the erection he has is so hard it almost looks painful. You purr and drool at the sight, Frank so bare in front of you, so exposed just for you.

“All mine Frankie, all fucking mine.”

“Only yours doll, fuck I’m all yours.” he whimpers, the sound like music to your ears. “Please baby, I need ya so fuckin’ bad, need your mouth..”

You can’t wait another second without tasting him, so that’s what you do, accepting his begs for you. The power you have over him is enthralling, something you’re gonna want to explore later on with him. Placing your lips around his dark red tip, swirling the sensitive head around your mouth with your tongue, you begin bobbing your head up and down his cock, taking as much of him in as possible while fondling his heavy balls. 

Frank knows he won’t be able to last much longer like this, but he uses every ounce of self control to withhold himself from letting go, needing you like this for as long as humanly possible. Your eyes don’t leave his while you pleasure him and yourself, he smirks at your gaze.

“Enjoyin’ yourself down there sweet girl?” he coos mischievously between moans.

“You know damn well I am Frank, any excuse to be in between your legs.” you wink, smiling at him matching his energy as you resume the task at hand.

“Dirty fuckin’ girl.. fuck just like that don’t you fucking stop… shit” he growls, taking both of his hands and grabbing your head as he starts fucking himself into your mouth, his desire fully consuming him like a man possessed. The feeling of him taking the control back, using your mouth to get off, sends a fresh wave of arousal to your already longing core. His tip hits the back of your throat repeatedly, taunting your gag reflex but you take it on the chin, eyes welling with tears and his cock flooding with your saliva. 

The sounds erupting from the action are pure sin, the squelch from each thrust, the wet noises from your pussy as you play with yourself. You whine around his cock as he spills his sticky, hot seed directly down your esophagus, a primal groan erupting from his throat as he emptied himself inside of you makes your clit throb. 

You finally take your mouth off of his spent member, the overstimulation as you lift yourself makes his whole body flinch. You can’t help but smirk, Frank sprawled out beneath you heavily breathing, balls and cock twitching as his member softens before your eyes. 

“I meant everything, y'know Frankie? I truly do think you’re the most gorgeous thing I’ve ever had the privilege to call mine.” you pant, lips puffy and red as you smile up at him.

“I know ya did doll, meant it when I said I dunno what I did to deserve ya too,” he offers you the same smile back, eyes staring through you with lust blown pupils. “So, ya hump ya pillow thinkin’ of me, huh?”

You roll your eyes, giggling at the realisation you admitted to him your dirty little secret while you were so cockdrunk. 

“I do baby, while wearing nothing but your shirt too.” you taunt, climbing up to your feet. He groans at your confession, eyes rolling to the back of his head imagining you do this. You go to walk to the bathroom to clean yourself off, but he halts your attempts by grabbing your wrist and pulling you down to his eye level. He places his hand to your face, angling you to meet his gaze.

“Show me.”

──── ୨୧ ────

a/n: this.. ngh.. need this. need him. i have no other words.

my inbox is open!

[butchdiaz]

hiiiii your edits are so incredible!!! i've been thinking about trying my hand at video editing do you have any tips?? also how does one source clips lol

hope you're having a good day :)

hi!!!! thank u so much! for sourcing clips, i did it the hard way by downloading full episodes and screen recording the clips i wanted w quicktime which is a lengthy process that takes up a lot of space on ur laptop LOL but i really wanted HD footage and didnt know any other way when i started and now i just have my own little library of clips.

here is a lifesaving site to download eps if u dont wanna/cant torrent. i forget who made it but if someone knows lmk so i can credit!

after i had done all that i discovered that there were these magical things called scene packs that are more popular over on twitter. where u can easily download every buddie scene in s2-4 for example that took me hours to record myself 🤦🏽‍♂️ i dont really have any specific sources for u bc im not on twitter. sorry ik thats not very helpful LMAO but if u ask around/search for them i know they are out there!

and uhhh as far as tips go here are some things i personally think about while editing! everyone has different styles and methods though:) this got long accidentally so its going under the cut oops

- i like to try and tell a story w my edits so im almost always thinking about that first and foremost. like how can i tie the beginning to the end and have a satisfying climax etc. i try to work with the song and highlight the emotional/tonal shifts in the music with my editing

- on that note, i am very influenced by the music while im editing cause i want my edits to LOOK like how it FEELS when im listening to the song. i think my best example of this is im afraid i love you. the drop in the chorus feels like a punch to the gut everytime and i really wanted to visuals to reflect that so it would be the most powerful. hence: soft lovey dovey looks galore and then BAM! SHOOTING. these comments fills my heart with glee cause it makes me feel like i did a good job capturing the feeling the song gives me.

i also really love the way the beat comes in in the second verse of that song and i made sure to sync up the shots to the beat at that moment instead of the words in order to highlight the musical shift. (i always think about how @ilostyou loves that verse and calls it bouncy, it makes me feel like i achieved my goal!!!!)

- the little details and nitpicky stuff goes a long way! like painstakingly making sure clips hit right on time with the beat/the words if thats ur intention. it may seem like a chore at the time but it definitely pays off for me at least

- i also think a LOT about composition, and how to make edits flow smoothly so that the viewer can follow the story easily. if i have a bunch of faster clips in a row im going to try to make sure the focus stays in the same place so the viewers eyes dont have to jump around to find what they are looking for. its easier to explain w an example so in happy to be here, for these three shots on the word "en-gi-neer" i wanted the order to go frank -> dr salazar -> buck.

because then it goes back to frank for "listening" so i wanted space between when it shows him AND i wanted it to end on buck cause he's the most important. but the original shot of dr. salazar was flipped so at first it looked like this:

and i didn't like how ur eyes had to go back and forth so fast, so i flipped the middle clip. it was much easier to process all three clips in quick succession if the subject didn't move. hope that makes sense!

[gayeddieagenda]

Okay, yap to me about your fave fic you’ve ever posted! 🩵

fic director's commentary ask (sort of)

wow thank u SO much for this question. the real answer for fave fic EVER im not going to yap about, bc it's my reddie fic, the only long (ish) fic i've ever finished and a real labor of love (but if u ARE interested in the characters of it chapter 2 falling in love at a farmhouse in nebraska for 70k, please: i am breaking open). my real 911 answer, tho, is probably get used to the gap. my beloved. NOT my first 911 fic, tho for some reason i always misremember it as my first one. it's very, very dear to my heart

i loveeee 5b eddie. he's everything to me. it's such an interesting moment in the show, not just for him but for the whole buddie relationship, and that was the jumping off point for this fic. what if eddie had his breakdown and at the exact same moment, realized he was in love with buck?

this is going to make this super long, so i'm going to put it under a cut, but i found my original outline for the fic and i think it's hilarious. u can see EXACTLY how i write. i'm not totally sure how much of the fic was written out at this point - it was either about four paragraphs or maybe as many as a few scenes - but i sat down to do my stupid little stream of consciousness summary and this is what i came up with - it's about 600 words and it's in my notes app just like this, all as one biiiig paragraph:

frank therapy scene - buck in eddie’s house that evening scene / flows into multiple nights, multiple evenings - scene of eddie telling buck to go home to taylor, buck looks genuinely hurt and eddie can’t really take that right now - eddie coming over to buck’s early in the morning and taylor’s there, buck takes a shower or something and eddie and taylor have a second, taylor: how are you? eddie, internally: i have never been more humiliated in my life - scene of eddie back in texas, thinking about coming out to his parents and deciding not to / maybe coming out to abuela or tia pepa or a sister? or maybe just thinks about it - buck breaks up with taylor, how 2 narrate that? - final frank therapy scene, eddie: i feel guilty about buck, frank: what about buck? eddie: he broke up with his girlfriend and i’m happy about it etc etc - narration they’re together all the time eddie is back at work etc etc etc - love confession how - is this the eddie speech love confession - maybe swap, it’s narration of them together first then the frank therapy scene, then buck picks eddie up and they go home together - eddie: hey buck, do you have a minute? buck: …..yes…… eddie: i wanted to thank you. this last year, etc - you’ve done so much for me. you didn’t have to do any of that - looking after chris, picking me up from therapy— buck, interrupting, alarmed: if you don’t want me to— eddie: no, buck. i do. i really do. just—can i finish? buck nodded, looking wary. - etc etc - i need to get through this, eddie said. eddie, what is this about? i’m getting there, eddie said. i promise. etc etc - that’s it. i don’t expect you to say anything, eddie said. you’ve done so much for me in the past year, but you didn’t know how much it meant to me. i wanted you to know. we don’t have to talk about it again. - buck: what do you mean, we don’t have to talk about it?? eddie, you just said you’re in love with me— eddie: but that’s about me, not you. etc etc buck: if that’s what you want. seeming wary etc - eddie nearly has a panic attack once he gets back to the car, calms himself down. he feels good, he told himself. he did it. now, finally, he can stop feeling guilty and move on - buck was being weird. etc etc weird on shift around eddie etc etc i know you said we didn’t have to talk about it, buck said. but i think i need to talk about it. - i was talking to maddie about it— eddie: you told maddie? buck: i kinda needed to tell someone. and everyone else i know works with us. eddie nodded. of course buck needed to process this with someone. that was totally fair etc etc - maddie asked me how i felt, which made me realize that you didn’t ask. eddie: what? buck: you didn’t ask me how i felt about you. eddie, slowly: i know how you feel about me. buck: yeah, i kinda thought i did too. - sorry, buck said. i’m kind of nervous. - buck: people keep giving me shit for falling into relationships and not knowing how i got there. i’m trying not to do that anymore, but i think i fucked up even worse this time - i didn’t notice myself falling in love - etc etc - they kiss or whatever

"they kiss or whatever." soooo funny to me. that is exactly how i outline on most fics, which is a summary/outline that flows in and out of dialogue at will. it creates a super rough and tumble framework, but it usually works well for me!! also, i went back to my google docs and before i came up with the title, i labeled this fic 'guilt fic' in all my notes, which is funny - guilt is the well eddie keeps coming back to in the fic, but i don't know if that's the first word i think of when i go back to this fic. it's more pining or something, i don't know!

there are several things i cut from this!! a big one was actual scenes from eddie going home to texas and getting teased by his sisters and thinking about his parents (cut line: “Because we’re your sisters and we care about your life,” Sophia said. “Dumbass.”) i cut a moment where buck is like 'is that my seabiscuit book?' when eddie is trying to subtly kick him out that cracks me up every time i think about it. not buck's seabiscuit book!! have a heart!!

i just love this fic... i haven't written a lot of buddie fic that's at all long (and this is only 14k, lol) and a: i wish i had!! and b: i loved getting to sink into this fic a little more. build out this moment and this space that eddie's living in during 5b. the ship has kind of sailed on canon-compliant fic where eddie realizes he's in love with buck and tells him as much first (tho there's still stories to tell in that space), but it's such a fave version of their story for me. i like the idea that eddie would, in some way, be more able to realize how he feels more than buck does! i loveeee the idea of an eddie love confession! this was my big swing at writing an eddie love confession and it was maybe the hardest scene in the thing to write, and i generally like how it turned out. soo much of this fic is so internal and so deep into eddie's inner monologue and the shift to the confession scene is super abrupt - you can see it in the paragraphing, going from long ass paragraphs to the kind of clipped conversation between him and buck. i struggled with it as i wrote it, but i like how it ended up. even as he's doing it, it's hard for eddie to tell buck this! it's hard for eddie to know how to feel or react until after! i like to think i pulled it off okay.

and i like that buck does not immediately know how to respond!! he's never, ever thought about this before and it throws him for a total loop. it's an eddie fic, obvi, but i like this buck a lot! get used to the gap forever!! it's my most popular buddie fic as well as my fave, so maybe an obvious choice, but i really love it <3 it was the first time i really got eddie's perspective or felt like buddie fic was something i could write well. i love it!!

[tiny-sassy-aggressive]

9-1-1 WATCH AND REACTION

S5 11-16

Ep 11

First I wanna give a quick shoutout to the makeup team for making Eddie look like a dead man walking the entire episode. Absolutely spectacular work

Watching the monotony of his 9-5 made me re realize how much I hate mine so that was a chilling rediscovery. Bc that’s how it feels LMAO?

absolutely precious that buck Taylor Eddie and Chris are together WHAT weird dynamics! Love that! Eddie came stand Taylor can he. IMMEDIATE attitude this was an amazing scene all around

TRUXK SCENE WAS AMAZING YBAR WAS SO COOL Lucy is a badass damn! Quick and smart thinking!

Okay damn josh? Chill? Guest in this house? Ouch? Overly aggressive. DO hope to see more may and Eddie at dispatch together

Awww Eddie walked away :(

I feel for hen- it must be so hard to lose chimney this way

Okay okay. Okay. Should buck be walking away ABSOLUTELY 100% this is gross. But I also hate the attitude that Lucy has about making someone squirm? That’s gross too? But buck should have walked away.

Hmmm telling convo with Eddie and Chris. Eddie jumped at quitting but it didn’t make either of them happy. OH MY GOSH WAIT I AXFHALLY GASPED DID EDDIE JUST. I CANR BELIEVE EDDIE SAID THAT TO BOBBY!!! WHAT. This is wild. Two of his people getting mad at him for lowkey the same reason…hm hm hm

Oh I really dislike what’s going on with buck this half of the season. Why would he do this it’s so gross. I’m actually so turned off from his character rn I’m so uncomfortable

Aww eddie ignored Ravi in the parking lot?? How long was he there??

Oh great yeah makes sense Lucy is there. Buck deserves this

Ep 12

BOSTON! Not to dox myself but that’s my city so I loved seeing it

The drowning scene was really scary. A horrifying visual look of what’s it’s like when we are going under. I can see it for myself But it’s weird to watch what happens in one’s head. The STRENGTH she had to not only actually physically pull herself up but to go find help for herself in actually crying.

I CANNOT BELIEVE THATS HOW THEY RECONNECTED HOLY HELL NO WAY

okay. Was that. A little too easy for them? Easy reunion. Hard convo of course. That was never going to be easy but. 6 months away and how’s it’s just. Okay? I mean I’m glad it’s okay! I’ve been waiting for all of them to come home. But that felt too easy for a drama show

Ep 13

OH IT WASNT WAAY THEY BROKE UP

Eddie and Frank are BACK! For the best!

Yeah I feel icky. I’m genuinely physically repulsed by bucks decision with Taylor.

I haven’t stopped thinking about how Taylor said buck trapped her. Because he literally did. I feel 0 sympathy for him at all clingy whatever. This is horrible.

Lowkey love Albert and Maddie duo need more of them

Nope. Confused as to why Taylor and buck are okay?? Not a fan??? Hello??

WHAT OH MY GOSH CHRIS CALLED BUCK AND HE. EDDIE???? WHAT

My gosh he was so smiley when he saw Chris was calling my heart burst. Chris is so scared. Holy hell Eddie he destroyed the place. Oh my gosh eddies sobs bucks voice broke im gonna. Lose it. Nope sorry I lost it Eddie breaking down was so intense I’m gonna scream. Oh my gosh the blood in his knuckles and his shirt I can’t. This is the realest Eddie has ever been. Afraid he will never be normal WHAT A WAY TO END THE EPJSODE WHAG

Ep 14

SCARYYYYY WHAT.

Are you telling me one of the sweetest Eddie Chris scenes we’ve gotten WAS AN ACTUAL NIGHTMAE WHAT WHAT THE HELL

Lucy and Jonah they cannot make me care about your characters I’m so sorry. Why do they keep emphasizing how drunk they were after the highway incident. You can’t convince me drunk actions don’t matter I’m not buying it

I totally feel Maddie. I will need extensively therapy before I have kids for that exact reason. Maddie and Chim have to be together again :/

Yall stop - buck drew that adorable photo of the heart? EDDIES FACEEE AHHHHH

buck and Taylor I can’t keep doing this I’m uncomfortable

Equine therapy:) that’s so sweet! OH MY GOSH ITS CHARLIE AHHHHHHHH

Ep 15

Yall I literally forgot Eddie was at dispatch for a second OPE go Twitter man!

LOVE seeing Eddie and May together again. Very excited to see mays path but will be sad if she goes!

Love this storyline for Karen and Hen!!!! Going out and being outside their jobs and just a couple!

This was the saddest storyline to date I’m not even gonna apologize. This was too real. Too scary and too sad. The mother’s speech. The way they eldest girl knew. The way everyone knew how to handle the situation for the kids WOW. I actually need something light to watch to try and put this out of my head

Eddie and May live bonding lmaoooo

WOOO HEN AND KAREN ON THE SCENE

Eeekkkkkk Maddie and Chim watching a first together!!!!

Ep 16

Eddie and Linda HELL YEAH! Watching May and Claudette go down they were ready for the TEA. Not the quiet room

FIREFIGHTER EDDIE IS BACK BABYYYYYY HELL YEAH. helping people and diverting emergencies look so good on him

EDDIE IS SUITING IP HELL YEAH. FIREFIGHTERS BUCK AND EDDIE ARE BACK

Eddie and Josh beef LOVE

BOBBY AND MAY OH MY GOSH EVERYONE CAME TOGETHER TO SAVE THEM

THE SONF OH MY GOSH THAT WAS AMAZING

ugh did we need that buck and Lucy moment ??

Wait did we need that Taylor and Lucy moment? With buck staring in the background omg

UM CLAIDETTE IS DEAS???? HELLO WHAT?????? IS JONAH EVIL?????? he looks evil tbh