#and he's funny!
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softquietsteadylove · 1 year ago
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Thenamesh taking the subway for the first time! And some drama! pls?
Dane sat in unbearable silence with the woman next to him.
He and Thena were getting along, as far as Sersi could tell him. And he did enjoy Thena's company--she was calm, maybe a little cold, but he was getting to understand that none of her bite had teeth to it. And she seemed to find him funny.
He also knew that she wasn't doing well with most modes of transportation. She and Gilgamesh had apparently travelled by train as much as possible on their journey. Planes were too confined and too high risk, as it were.
He had been prepared to walk clear across London to meet up with Sersi and Gilgamesh, who were perusing the various food markets while Dane got some grading done and Thena rested through the morning and early afternoon.
It would take them literal hours but he was prepared for it.
Thena herself had said there was surely a faster way to get to them, and not to hold back on her account.
Now, they were seated together on the tube, in the least crowded car possible. They were through four stops already, and still had to make one transfer and then go through another six.
Dane cleared his throat. He wasn't entirely sure how to converse with the Warrior Eternal. She never struck up conversations on her own and he wasn't sure what would even be relatable to her, let alone not insufferably dull or passe for a person of her age--experience, maybe; he knew they didn't have any age at all.
Thena looked up as the lights grew dim. Dane looked at her instantly, watching for any small signs of trouble, "something is wrong."
He didn't ask for more. He knew her senses were capable of more than anyone else's. He made no attempt to placate her worries, either.
Not a few seconds later the car went dark before the emergency lighting shone faintly.
"Dammit," he murmured, looking out the window at the completely pitch black side of the tracks. They weren't even within site of the next station. "Power surge or something--we'll be stuck here until they can get the cars moved."
"Dane."
"Shouldn't be long," Dane sighed as he tried to see out the other side as well. No one else was panicking, which was a bit of a relief. "This does happen from time to time."
"Dane."
"We'll be on our way in no-"
"Dane!"
"Time," he muttered, catching the faint gold running under Thena's skin. Her eyes were closed, but he had been told that if he ever saw a flicker of white in them, he need do only two things: get Gilgamesh, and get away.
The car creaked under the dead weight of its load. Thena flinched.
"Okay, all right," Dane said gently, sitting next to her again. She was folded in on herself much more tightly than before--he should have taken more note of her posture. "Hey, Thena, are you all right? Can you breathe?"
She nodded, and indeed he could see the rise and fall of her shoulders, the clench of her throat.
"T-Tell me-" he gulped. Tell him what?--how to help her? Was there truly anything a mortal man like him could do?
She shook her head.
Dane pulled out his phone; no service, of course. He sighed, budging closer until his knee could knock against hers gently. "Thena, can you tell me what you need?"
Her throat tightened and her lips pinched together, something akin to a whimper escaping from her.
Gilgamesh: what, or who, she needed was her husband.
"Right," Dane sighed, still hovering close to the woman. He looked around him warily at the other civilians around them.
"Is she okay?"
He looked over, an older woman looking at them in concern. He gave her his calmest smile. "My sister-in-law, she gets...panic attacks--claustrophobic."
He looked at Thena again, afraid to worsen her struggle. He inhaled, "what if I talk? Something to focus on?"
Thena nodded, moving her own trembling hands to her head.
"Okay, yes, talk," Dane gulped and nodded to himself. His throat had never been so dry in his life. "Uhm, so, I-"
Thena growled from within her throat.
"Sorry," he sighed. Why had they split up? Even if just Sersi were here, she could calm her sister down. Better than he could, at least. "I'm sure you wish Sersi were here too."
Thena waved her hand at him.
Yes, Sersi--oh, Sersi! He leaned forward, "S-Sersi, yes, t-talk about Sersi?"
She nodded.
"Right," he let out a somewhat easier breath. "Well, we, uhm, we met almost four years ago now. She gave a presentation at the school and, well, I suppose I fell for her rather quickly."
"It's terribly cliche, but it's true," he chuckled, remembering the day he first laid eyes on the unearthly - oh, the irony - beautiful woman. "Even more unexpected was how much we had in common, and how she asked if I'd like to get coffee some time."
"I thought to myself, surely this woman is way out of my league. Surely she has some long-term partner I just don't know about yet."
Thena smacked his shoulder.
Right, no Ikaris talk; Dane rubbed his arm. "Sorry--anyway, we had such a great time talking about history and natural science that I suggested we get together again. And I suppose...it went from there."
"Sersi just...never gets tired of it all. Especially knowing now how long she's been here, I can't fathom how she still has so much wonder for the little things. But she takes nothing for granted--she loves the sunrise, and loud rain, and watching birds. She doesn't squish bugs who find themselves where they shouldn't be."
"Early in our relationship, we were on a walk in a public garden. There was a butterfly exhibit, and she told me that 'an old friend' of hers used sign language, and that her sign for Sersi was like a butterfly."
"Anyway, we were on our way out when we saw a butterfly on the leaf of one of the trees by the entrance. It was quite far from the butterfly exhibit and my guess is that it was swept away by the winds or something--poor thing."
"And Sersi," Dane sighed, a smile coming over him at the memory. "She held out her finger, and the butterfly made itself right at home with her. I've never seen anything like it, but it settled in her palm and moved its wings a little."
"We walked to lunch and that butterfly just sat there. At one point she took a strawberry out of her salad for it. Then, on the way home, it had finally recovered itself and...fluttered off."
"I'll never forget what it was like to see such a delicate life form so comfortable with another," Dane finished softly. Thena was holding herself much less tightly than she was before, he noted with some relief. "The next date we went on I got her a little trinket--just a silly little thing. Glass butterfly she could keep on her desk. Just-"
"It's on her shelf at home."
Dane blinked. Even before they had gotten stuck, Thena hadn't spoken since descending the stairs into the station. "I-It is?"
Thena nodded, looking up at last. Her eyes were green. "She keeps it next to the gift Ajak gave her on her wedding day."
Well that certainly was a place of honour, involving her ex-husband or not.
Thena looked up and over at something, Dane doing the same, even knowing it was futile. He looked back at her. "Something is coming."
He couldn't sense what she was, but he noticed a faint light travelling under them. He assumed it was safety precautions installed by the station.
"She's transmuting."
Dane blinked again. He knew that was what they called Sersi's power. He still didn't know every little detail of how they worked, and Sersi was more than tired of him asking her. But transmutation was the best word for it: transformation of one state of matter to another.
The lights came on and the car lurched as its systems booted again. The small crowd within let out a collective sigh of relief. Although not at full speed, the subway car did at least slowly slide into the next open station, where a crowd of people was both awaiting its arrival and anxious for those inside.
Dane startled as the doors rattled, being gripped and ripped open from the other side.
"I told you to use restraint!"
"Thena?!"
The Warrior Eternal rose and went right to him, letting their rescuer pull her into his arms as she buried her face in his chest. She sighed, "you're here."
"I'm here," he whispered to her, kissing the arch of her cheek and sending that golden glowing away.
Dane eyed the dents in the metal door where Gilgamesh had pried it open like wet cardboard. He cleared his throat, pulling it as far back as it could go and standing in front of it, "please, everyone, this way."
Sersi did the same with the other door, "everyone off, just in case it...shuts down again."
Gilgamesh pulled Thena off the modern contraption and to the side as the crowd filtered off the car and a station inspection crew replaced them. "Come on."
Thena settled into Gil's side as he led them away from the crowd and the congested stairs leading in and out of the station. She breathed in the scent of him.
Gil ran his hand over her hair as he turned to Dane, "you guys okay?"
He nodded, offering his sympathies in a weak smile, "certainly tried--I'm no substitute for the real thing."
"He did well."
Gil beamed, taking his wife's word and kissing the top of her head. He looked back at Dane with that same grin, "sounds like you did a hell of a lot better than 'tried'."
"I'm sorry," Sersi ran her hand down his arm, "I'm sure it was stressful being stuck in there."
He had never been more stressed out in his life. He shrugged, "we were all right, I think."
"Well, let's get above ground at least," Gil suggested, still with his bag of loot on his other arm. "Fresh air?"
Thena nodded against him, still quiet after their close call.
Dane looked at his girlfriend, "what did you do?"
Sersi gave him a somewhat sheepish smile, "copper is a much better conductor of both heat and electricity. Gil and I heard that a car had been stopped due to a power outage. He ripped the fuse box open and I turned all the wiring to copper."
Dane shook his head; she made it sound so simple.
"I changed them back already," she huffed in her own defense.
Dane just chuckled, taking her hand in his as they trailed behind his in-laws, "careful, love, or you'll make the news again."
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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 8 months ago
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Knowledge Revenge.
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thatonedudeinthecorner · 3 months ago
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Grunkle Stan is WHAT
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I don’t know where the original meme is even from but it GETS ME EVERY TIME
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butchfalin · 1 year ago
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the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again
#yeehaw#1k#5k#10k#posts that got cursed. blasted. im making these tag updates after... 19 hours?#also i have been told it should say speech loss bc nonverbal specifically refers to the permanent state. did not know that!#unfortunately i fear it is so far past containment that even if i edited it now it would do very little. but noted for future reference#edit 2: nvm enough ppl have come to rb it from me directly that i changed the wording a bit. hopefully this makes sense#also. in case anyone is curious. though i doubt anyone who is commenting these things will check the original tags#1) my friend did not do this on purpose in any way. it was not intended to distract me or to hit on me. im a lesbian hes a gay man. cmon now#he felt very bad about it afterwards. i thought it was hilarious but it was very embarrassed and apologetic#2) “why didn't he use 🫵🏼?” didn't exist yet. “why didn't he use 🆗?” dunno! we'd been using a lot of hand emojis. 👌🏼 is an ok sign#like it makes sense. it was just a silly mixup. also No i did not invent 👉🏼👌🏼 as a gesture meaning sex. do you live under a rock#3) nonspeaking episodes are a recurring thing in my life and have been since i was born. this is not a quirky one-time thing#it is a pervasive issue that is very frustrating to both myself and the people i am trying to communicate with. in which trying to speak is#extremely distressing and causes very genuine anguish. this post is not me making light of it it's just a funny thing that happened once#it's no different than if i post about a funny thing that happened in conjunction w a physical disability. it's just me talking abt my life#i don't mind character tags tho. those can be entertaining. i don't know what any of you are talking about#Except the ppl who have said this is pego/ryu or wang/xian. those people i understand and respect#if you use it as a writing prompt that's fine but send it to me. i want to see it#aaaand i think that's it. everyday im tempted to turn off rbs on it. it hasn't even been a week
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shesmore-shoebill · 4 months ago
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"I had choice paralysis :(" is a KILLER line.
He's such a comedic powerhouse, I'm glad more people are getting exposed to him :'D
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woodsteingirl · 1 year ago
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starting a collection. pierre talking to natasha in war and peace
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sunnyirry · 5 months ago
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"Oh, and there's kabru too!!!"
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yeepof · 5 months ago
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Local PHD student at wizard school HARRASSED!! FOR SHAME!!
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littlelightfish · 8 months ago
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Funny things I found out playing with language setting in Netflix while looking episode 15:
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Chilchuck's scream sounds HAUNTED in brazilian portuguese. Give it a try if you can.
(You can hear it here)
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In spanish dub, Senshi says: "tocó mis senos de hombre", which means "he touched my man boobs" in Spanish. And I think that's the best dub line one so far.
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beebfreeb · 7 months ago
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daftmooncretin · 11 months ago
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spock’s room decor is actually fucking bonkers. The weapons??? the big red velvet curtain??? like ok phantom of the opera go crazy.
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for reference jim’s room has some photos and a plant so we can surmise this is uniquely a spock being a dramatic weirdo thing
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jakemoogle · 3 months ago
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This has to be the funniest and my favourite community note thus far on this stupid app
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teaboot · 3 months ago
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I totally forgot till just now but one time a new therapist handed me a pad of paper and said "draw me a picture of how you feel" and after spending like five whole minutes of dead silence scribbling a teeny tiny pitch black dot in the middle of the pad that dug a hole straight through like 15 pages I gave it back to see him staring back at me like
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fast-andthe-curious · 10 days ago
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this literally happened in the movie
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brown-spider · 1 year ago
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Hey remember how Noir is an anti-fascist from 1933
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