#and he’s never been alone before like this with kayleigh and kevin so far out of reach

[dayurno]

omg reverse riko au is making me feel so ill..... please let us know if you have any more thoughts abt riko kayleigh and kevin legend.....

I DO my idea is that its around the same age kevin and riko met in canon so tetsuji kicks the bucket when riko is 7/8 and riko is (very forcibly) removed from the nest and sidelined to kayleigh as a new moriyama asset from the main branch takes over the nest. riko struggles a lot with the change because he is very young and very scared and he’s used to horrible things at tetsuji’s hand, which means that he doesn’t trust kayleigh and finds kevin entirely too weird. it’s honestly really cute because i think at this point obviously 7 year old kevin wants to befriend him but riko is such an anxious ball of anger that most of their interactions are like

baby riko: what do you WANT from me. go AWAY!!!! NOW

baby kevin: (heavy irish accent) nothing i think. do you want a bite of my sandwich?

anyway i think riko and kayleigh do get along but he never really considers her his mother or even godmother, for a long time he thinks of her as his Benefactor until the child therapy starts hitting and she becomes Aunt Kayleigh and then after a few more years he can be loosely convinced to refer to her as auntie once or twice a year. his second son syndrome never really leaves him; in the upcoming years riko struggles with the idea that he’s anything But an add-on to the days and still overworks himself to death trying to be acknowledged by kengo, but it’s leaps better just from being outside the nest and having people to look out for him

riko and kevin have some rough patches, especially during riko’s first years with the days. because kevin is an easy target and riko is afraid of kayleigh he ends up letting a lot of that anger out on kevin, though obviously at this point they are children and riko’s anger manifests in some mild bullying and name calling. i think kevin doesn’t even understand it most of the time 😭 riko has been around grown ups his entire life so his adult level insults make no sense to kevin’s seven year old mind. nevertheless after kayleigh tells him to stop picking on kevin riko does respect it (first out of fear, then later because they actually get along) and they go on to become brothers with only a slight tendency towards antagonism. riko’s jealousy of kevin is still a big part of their relationship and i think even more so when college applications roll around, and he’s even more worried when wymack comes into the picture, but it never culminates into anything as horrible as hand breaking because riko has an actual outlet and a support system :) it’s mostly a yelling match that eventually turns to getting scolded by kayleigh for acting like barbarians

[codename-adler]

foxes + onesies (9/9)

based off of that one post i saw and don’t remember, where people once caught Allison wandering around Fox Tower in a giraffe onesie, and i absolutely melted for her. here is the Foxes’ journey to getting a onesie each!

Kevin

every Fox has bad days

some bad days begin with a specific feeling

when Andrew feels ghost hands as he wakes up, when he feels his body too tight for his bones, or hid bones too big for his body

when Neil feels every sound like a knife to his skin, when the scars on his face feel like phantom pains, when he feels a grown man moves too fast, too close to him

when Allison feels jeans cling too much to her thighs, when her shirt brushes too much on her abdomen, when she feels the food she ate resting in her stomach

some bad days begin with a specific date

when it’s the anniversary of Tilda’s death, and Aaron cannot be in the same room as Andrew, no matter how far they’ve come

when it’s the anniversary the Boyds’ divorce, and Matt can’t leave Dan’s side for one second, no matter how strong their relationship is

when it’s the anniversary of Mary’s death, of Evermore, of Nathaniel’s last birthday, of Baltimore, and Neil can’t take a single look at himself in the mirror, no matter how many times Andrew worships his face with his mouth and his fingers

or, when it’s the anniversary of Kayleigh Day’s death, and nobody remembers, not even Wymack, and Kevin is all alone with this grief that is other, unlike any other he carries everyday, unlike anything he can compare to, and he doesn’t know how to feel anymore

Kevin vividly remembers that day, and he sees it luring around the corner as August approaches

but this time, there is no more Riko to worry about, no more mafia to be scared of, no more Ravens to antagonize him, no more Master to punish him for even attempting to grieve every year

and no more alcohol to make him forget

Kevin quit drinking the day they won championship, they day Riko was killed died

it’s been a year and a half, now, and Kevin still wants to drink the minute things get hard mentally

(it’s also been a year and a half since the Foxes started getting onesies, but it doesn’t feel like it’s been that long, and only Allison remembers that summer where it all started)

so when Kevin enters his bad days, his bad weeks, the Foxes are used to his mood swinging back and forth between Queen of Assholery and Feral Fox

but Kevin isn’t

he isn’t used to feeling all of this, to always think, and think, and think, until everything inside his head is as loud as the outside, until it’s all too much

yet he’s still expected to go on

still supposed to function, to perform, to be a decent human being when he’s not even sure he even feels human anymore

and so when Kevin snaps, the Foxes are supposed to be used to it

they’re not

nobody is

it’s summer practice

the 9 Foxes came in early, before the two new recruits arrive

Kevin is in the middle of yelling at Neil, who is very much yelling back at him

there’s that moment very full of testosterone where each of them throw away their gloves and helmets and sticks

they’re an inch from each other’s face and then Kevin suddenly… stops

he completely stops

his face goes blank, his feet move him back, his arms go slack

he looks at Neil, and he looks, and looks, and looks…

as if he could find an answer to a question he doesn’t know he’s asking

Neil, who has never learned to watch his mouth after all the trouble it got him into, keeps tearing into Kevin

Kevin keeps backing up and Neil keeps pushing further

but apart from his backwards movement, Kevin doesn’t react

pure apathy doesn’t suit him nearly as well as it did Andrew

the other Foxes are so silent, that between two of Neil’s breaths, they can all hear him whisper

“Stop.”

but Neil doesn’t hear him, or doesn’t want to

it gets so out of control, even Wymack has to step in, on the court, when he sees Kevin so unresponsive

it gets so bad, eventually Neil, too, stops his yelling and just looks at Kevin

and he looks, and looks, and looks…

as if he could understand the question Kevin is asking an answer for with his pleading, green eyes

“Stop… Just- stop. I can’t- anymore… “

Kevin shakes his head and looks at the floor as hatred and hurt grip his guts

he takes another step back

suddenly he jerks his head back up and looks at Neil

“I hate you. God, I hate all of you.”

he looks at all his Foxes

then leaves

Kevin Day leaves the court

behind his back, he doesn’t see Matt holding back a furious yet teary-eyed Dan

he doesn’t see Renee leaving her goal to join Andrew’s side, her big racquet blocking his way

he doesn’t see Nicky putting his hand on Neil’s shoulder, squeezing in empathy

he doesn’t see Allison throwing away her racquet against the plexiglass wall with all that she’s got, fuming and hiding her tears

he doesn’t see Wymack matching over to Neil, a whole speech ready to give Neil his piece of mind

and he certainly doesn’t see Aaron collapsing to the ground, his hands holding his head and gripping his hair, his breaths shallow, his jaw clenched shut, his eyes dry yet red-rimmed

but from behind Kevin’s back, none of them see him either

they can’t see him losing his breath as he starts running away

they can’t see him clenching and unclenching his left hand

and they certainly can’t see him crying

the week that follows is undeniably tense between all the Foxes

that week also coincides with a lot of events

there’s the new Foxes’ arrival

there’s the start of classes

there’s the mandatory psych session with Betsy before Exy season starts

and there’s August 27th

Mom’s accident

Kevin remembers the day vividly, he truly does

he remembers because the week of the accident, he was supposed to start school for the first time, on September 1st

he had picked his outfit for the first day, he had new red Exy-themed shoes, he had even planned the lunch he wanted to have that day in his lunchbox (spaghetti squash casserole. yeah, weird kid.)

on August 27th, Mom didn’t come home

on August 27th, he went to the Moriyama property

on August 27th, he settled into a weirdly well-accommodated room that fit both him and Riko

on September 1st, he woke up with Riko and they prepared for their first day

on September 1st, Kevin wore his planned outfit, put on his red shoes

on September 1st, Kevin did not have spaghetti squash casserole

she left him nothing but an aversion for squash, red shoes, and Exy

which brings us as to why, on August 27th, as all the team is mandated to talk an hour with Betsy Dobson, Kevin Day volunteers to go first (with Aaron volunteering to go second and be the designated driver for the pair)

none of the Foxes have really talked to Kevin since the previous week’s outburst

Kevin has no other outlet for this painful day

it’s either talk to Betsy, or ruin 496 days of sobriety with one vodka bottle

the only words exchanged between Kevin and Aaron, on the drive to Reddin Medical Center, are, surprisingly, from Kevin

“Somebody should get you a new goddamn car.”

he doesn’t elaborate further than that, but Aaron looks at him strangely

his car really is garbage, though

once arrived at their destination, Kevin doesn’t wait for Aaron and bursts in Betsy’s office without warning

it takes at least half an hour of Betsy talking before Kevin gives up his silence

everything was already there, he just had to open his mouth and let his words fall

Kevin: I’ve been sober for 496 days. I’ve been thinking about my Mom’s anniversary for the past few weeks. That’s today, now. And last Friday, I told Neil, then the whole team, that I hated them. Care to unpack that for me?

Betsy: I can help you sort some things out, of course, Kevin. But this is your baggage. I’m afraid I can’t do this without your help. Why don’t you tell me more about this hatred you feel towards your teammates?

Kevin: I dont. Hate them. I don’t… I hate what they do to me. How they treat me. Their double standards. How they forget, how they dismiss. Mind you, I’m well aware of my asshole status. I know I am. But them… they’re… they’re mean. Vicious. They cut and stab and don’t care about what’s underneath. They don’t care that I helped them get the title of Champions. They don’t care that I was there every step of the way, that I was right there beside them when we played the Ravens, when we won. They don’t care that Riko died, that he once broke my hand, that I was legally kidnapped, that I went through hell and still lived to walk on my own two feet. They don’t care that I, too, once had a mom. They don’t care that my Mom died. They don’t care. To them, I’m still just a cunt. It’s unbearable. They don’t give a shit and I’m so, so tired, Betsy. I’m not asking for much. I just want… I want- I want them to let me breathe. I want them to realize that, I’m just like them. I’m a Fox. I’m a Fox as much as they are. I wake up everyday, and feel all this weight on my shoulders, in my stomach, on my heart, but I carry on anyways, and I don’t know why, but I do, just like them. Is that so hard to grasp? Is that so hard to accept? What am I doing wrong, Betsy?

Betsy: Oh, Kevin…

the rest of the session passes in a blur

Kevin talks about how every time he takes a photograph, he thinks of Kayleigh, of how brightly she smiles in all the photos Wymack has of her, of how he wishes he could take pictures of her with his own camera

Kevin talks about how every strong woman in the Irish folklore he reads about wears Kayleigh’s face

Kevin talks about how he thought Thea had been a bit like her, and how, in the end, she hadn’t been at all, she was her own woman, a woman he didn’t know and didn’t love, and how he thought he had lost a bit of Kayleigh again when they separated

Kevin talks

he talks

and Betsy listens

when his time is up, Kevin’s voice is hoarse with exhaustion and sadness

he lets Aaron in as he decides to take a run back to Fox Tower

his mind tries to guilt him into going back to the court, but between facing the Foxes after that and isolating himself in his dorm, Kevin knows what’s best for him

he is only disturbed in the late evening, when Wymack enters the dorm

even Neil, Andrew and Nicky hadn’t come back yet

Kevin knows something is wrong

Wymack isn’t supposed to be here

Wymack: Day… Listen, son.

Kevin sits up on his bed

Wymack: Argh, I’ll cut the bullshit. It’s Abby. There’s been an accident. Her car’s fucking scrap metal now. She was brought to the hospital 45 minutes ago, I just got the call. She’s going into surgery. We’ll all visit her in the morning.

Not again

Not Abby

What the fuck is this life?

Wymack: Number Seven wants to see you now. Don’t ask me why, I don’t wanna know. I’ll let her in, don’t make me regret this. Sleep good, son. I’ll see you tomorrow.

he opens the door, takes one last look at Kevin’s tense form, and leaves as Allison comes in

she’s wearing her giraffe onesie tied at the waist, with an oversized WALKER 09 t-shirt

she stands in front of Kevin until he looks up at her

Allison: Scoot over. We’re watching The Crown.

and Kevin, dumbfounded, lets her and moves

he finds himself quite intrigued by the storyline, enough to only worry about Abby with his fingers, fiddling with one of the giraffe’s horns

after the third or fourth episode, Allison starts to talk, eyeing Kevin’s fingers playing with her onesie

Allison: Wanna know the latest gossip? Even Andrew has a onesie, now. God, I can’t believe this is a sentence that exists. Andrew Minyard owns a fucking onesie. Do you know what that makes you?

Kevin stays silent, eyes fixed somewhere not quite on Ally’s laptop screen

Allison: That makes you the only Fox without one.

Kevin: Oh, so now I’m a Fox? Didn’t seem that way earlier. Or, like, ever.

the dealer chooses her next words very carefully

Allison: Just because we hadn’t seen it yet, just because we were too busy stuffing our heads up our asses, doesn’t mean you weren’t a Fox… I know, I know. Hard to feel like one when the others give you shit non-stop. Been there, done that. And now I’ve done it to you, too, and I’m… Sorry. We’re dysfunctional, there’s no changing that. But- We can do better. We’ll try, promise. I think you’ve made quite an impression on Betsy today, ‘cause we all received a good talk from her during our sessions. I mean, don’t expect Andrew running in to apologize, but, you know… Something about Betsy turning severe makes you re-evaluate your life choices. We’ll do better, Day.

Kevin looks at her, then

really looks at her

and nods

yet just as he turns his attention back to the screen, Allison leaves the Netflix page and googles “onesie adult”

Kevin: Oh, no. Absolutely not. Nope.

Allison: Oh, yes, yes, yessss!

but then, of course, there’s a knock at the door, and Allison gets up, opens the door, lets the person in, whispers something, and leaves

just like that

and oh

It’s Aaron

Aaron: So… Allison tells me you’re finally getting yourself one of those stupid pajamas too?

Kevin: I am not. What are you doing here anyway? The others will be back soon, I assume.

Aaron: Well, it’s my shift…

Kevin: Your what now?

Aaron: No, it’s not like that! We just… We thought you’d want some space because of… today… But then Abby… We didn’t want you to be alone.

Kevin: Really. Who’s “we”?

Aaron: The proud Palmetto State Foxes’ Exy team. All of them. You know, Dan, Matt, Renee, Allison, Andrew and Neil, Nicky… Me.

once again, Kevin can’t help but stare, deeply surprised

Aaron: Andrew and the others will be back for the whole night, but for now, it’s my turn. I wanted to take the first “watch”, but Allison said she had business to do with you. And I’m not getting in the way of that woman.

Kevin honest-to-God snorts

Kevin: If by “business” she meant bullying me into buying this onesie shit, then you should have gotten in her way. I’m not doing that. It’s fucking dumb.

Aaron: Hey!

Kevin: Aaron Minyard, don’t tell me you’ve participated in this madness…

Aaron: So what if I have? It wasn’t exactly on purpose, but I got one. And you don’t. So really, who’s dumb here?

Kevin: What is it??

Aaron: Not telling you.

Kevin: C’mon…

Aaron: Nope. You can’t bribe me. I’m not telling you shit. However, what I can telling you, is that it feels kinda wrong that we all have a pajama and you don’t…

Kevin: Oh my God, fine! What did the others get?

Aaron: Well, besides Ally’s giraffe, we got a tiger, a dinosaur, a teddy bear, you’ve seen Nicky’s unicorn nonsense, and I’m not quite sure about Andrew’s… Oh, and Neil’s is a fox, obviously. That predictable dumbass.

Kevin: Okay, well, I want a fox too.

Aaron: No, Kevin, you can’t.

Kevin: What? Why not!?

Aaron: Because. Neil’s already got a fox. Do you want to be a copycat AND a predictable dumbass?

and so until 1 AM, Kevin and Aaron bicker about each of Kevin’s suggestions (a Palmetto Foxes onesie, a USC Trojans onesie, an Irish-themed onesie, a white fox onesie, a gray fox onesie, and so on…)

when Andrew, Neil and Nicky come back into the dorm, Kevin’s almost laid all the way down on his bed, his head resting on Aaron’s elbow, as Aaron is sitting right next to him, laptop propped on a pillow and his fingers scrolling away

Aaron looks at Andrew, sighs, and looks at Kevin

they nod to each other, before Aaron gets up to go back to his dorm

Kevin sits up correctly when Aaaron is gone and Andrew approaches

Kevin pretends not to notice and googles one more idea, “brown fox onesie”

as he scrolls down and down and down, Andrew looks over his shoulder

and points at one picture

Andrew: That one. Now go to bed. We’re getting up at ass-o’clock tomorrow.

for the third time this evening, Kevin is shocked

he does look at Andrew’s pick attentively, though, and decides to go with it

that night, even if images of Abby covered in blood plague him for at least an hour, Kevin falls asleep to the memory of Aaron’s skin against his cheek, which somehow translates into dreams of Kayleigh resting both her hands on his cheeks as they sit in a field of wildflowers

a couple of weeks later, Kevin doesn’t tell the team his onesie has arrived

but he is forced to admit it when, for Halloween, they organize a huge party for themselves only, where they decided to wear their pajamas as costumes for the night

Kevin feels so stupid in his outfit

he even had to buy a LARGE because he’s so fucking tall

but it still feels… comfy… warm… not so bad…

maybe this can work for him…

it’s only when he steps into the girls’ living room that a problem arises

Aaron: What the fuck is this.

Kevin: Hum… A brown fox? Technically, Neil’s is orange, so you can’t shit on me!

Aaron: That- That’s not a fox, Kevin! What the fuck.

Kevin: Okay, well what are you then?? A mutant mouse?

Aaron: What are you- Oh my God, you don’t know what Pokemons are.

with that, Aaron turns around and yells for his twin

Aaron: ANDREW JOSEPH FUCKING MINYARD. YOU DID THIS ON PURPOSE, DIDN’T YOU? YOU BASTARD.

he storms off yelling

Kevin only reunites with Aaron at the end of the night, on the girls’ balcony, both sober

Kevin: You know, for someone who pushed me so much to do this stupid thing, you’re not being very nice about it. I know you wanted me to be “original” or whatever, but it’s not like I look like Neil! Why are you so upset?

Aaron: Kevin. It’s not a fox.

Kevin: Oh for God sake’s Aaron, you-

Aaron: It’s a Pokemon, Kevin. They’re like little monsters, kind of, and it’s a videogame, but there’s anime, manga, and collectible cards and… I used to- I used to collect those. Before. I lost them, now, but see this? This is one of them. It’s the main Pokemon, actually. His name’s Pikachu.

Kevin: Okay… Who am I, then?

Aaron: You… You’re Eevee.

Kevin: And what’s “Eevee”…?

Aaron: Pikachu’s girlfriend.

and oh.

Oh.

Kevin: Andrew didn’t tell me… The little fucker. I thought- Sorry. I didn’t mean to be another pawn in one of Andrew’s little games. Why did he do that to you?

Aaron: I think you know why.

Kevin looked at Aaron

Aaron looked at Kevin

Kevin: Fuck.

Aaron: Yeah, that.

Kevin: What?

Aaron: Nothing!

Kevin: Aaron.

Aaron: Kevin.

Kevin slowly invaded Aaron’s space until his back touched the railing, and placed one hand on each side of the backliner

Aaron looked up at Kevin

Kevin looked down at Aaron

Kevin: Okay?

Aaron: Okay.

and Kevin grabbed Aaaron by the hoodie of his pajama, and pulled him close, closer, closer, closer, until their lips met, at last

it was a long-awaited kiss, a careful kiss, a kiss of home and yes and oh and warmth and safe

Kevin reluctantly pulled away and rested his forehead on top of Aaron’s, knowing they have very little time before the other Foxes found them snogging on the balcony like a goddamn cliché

Kevin: Aaron.

Aaron: Kevin.

Kevin: I’m gonna ask you something stupid, and you can’t punch me for it, okay?

Aaron: Fine, okay.

Kevin: Do you want to be the Pikachu… to my Eevee?

Aaron: YOU FUCKING MORON!

and with that, Kevin burst out laughing, as if the Foxes’ attention wasn’t already on them the second Aaron started yelling

Allison and Matt knowingly started whooping with their beers raised for a toast

Dan was facepalming hard, shaking her head, but smiling nonetheless

Renee smiled her genuine, angelic smile while clapping Nicky on the back as he choked on his drink

Neil, arms crossed, watched the scene unfold with contentment

and Andrew. Andrew had no reaction at all. at all.

he was looking at his nails, no knife in sight, no fucks given

which, in Andrew’s language, meant everything

and so that October 31st was one for the books, the books about the good days, the good feelings, the good memories

because the Foxes had those, too

Kevin Day had good days

Aaron Minyard had good days

Allison Reynolds and Renee Walker had good days

Dan Wilds and Matt Boyd had good days

Nicky Hemmick had good days

Neil Josten had good days

even Andrew Minyard had good days

God knows they deserve them

these onesies, as silly, as stupid, as corny, as childish as they may be, were a proof of that

a proof that the Palmetto State Foxes could be better, could do better, and could get better

[kevindayscrown]

Why Kevin Day is the most in-depth character in the All For the Game series

An essay by a Kevin stan, so you know it's at least 70% biased

Hello, hello everyone, welcome to another session of me, brainwashing you about the amazingness of Kevin Day. In this short essay, I'll discuss how our number Queen asshole striker is, in fact, not just a whiney bitch, but one of the most key characters in the AFTG series. I'll also discuss how Nora pretty much did him dirty and how much I appreciate the fandom for doing him better.

I've decided that it will be much easier to take things chronologically, so I can delve deeper into what makes Kevin the character whose stans won't shut up about.

Unlike the rest of the characters in the series, Kevin started off in a somewhat stable family condition. He was brought up by his mother, Kayleigh, but still probably had to live with the title 'Son of Exy' from the moment he was born. We've all witnessed what being on the spotlight from a young age has done to child stars. Kevin, upon growing up, would start feeling the burden of a whole legacy created by his mother. Because Exy, despite being a bastard sport, has a large fanbase around the US, and possibly further - since it's mentioned that it's also an Olympic sport.

It wouldn't be a surprise that Kevin more than likely looked up to his mother and wanted to play Exy for her. Suddenly though, Keyleigh died in a car accident (if it was even a car accident; knowing the Moriyamas, it could had been done on purpose) and left Kevin in the care of Tetsuji Moriyama, the head of one of the yakuza's branches, and his now adoptive brother Riko.

Let's be honest, both of them were just kids. They only had each other, so it was really easy to get attached. Kevin has lost his mother at this point and Tetsuji is not exactly a proper father figure, so Kevin had to cling on Riko. Despite us seeing him in the main timeline being an asshole who snaps at everyone, his willingness to submit into the position of 'number 2' even if he's better than Riko, shows how much he depends emotionally on people. Riko and Kevin had to meet certain expectations, had fans from a very young age, and Neil even mentions that he literally witnessed Kevin grow up from media outlets and coverages. Kevin had to stick close to the only other person who's going through the same thing.

As a result, it was easy for Kevin to focus on what he's taught to believe; he should aim for the stars, he should be good, great, but never the best. Because Riko is the best. Kevin accepts that.

I hate how people call him a spineless coward just because someone mentions it once in the book. Kevin isn't like Neil. Neil was given a chance to escape. Kevin could never escape Evermore. Even if he did consider it his home, he was still abused on a daily basis. Riko mentions in Raven King, when he's about to torture Neil, that Neil is basically in the same position as Kevin once had been:

People forget that, Kevin probably had to live through what Neil did ever since Riko turned into his fucked up self. Which literally means years of physical and mental abuse, with no hope of escape but the bright future he had ahead of him. So what did Kevin do? He focused on playing.

Stop making Kevin all about being an Exy freak or an alcoholic. Kevin was so obsessed with Exy because it's the only thing he has ever known. He probably couldn't even drink before he escaped Evermore.

Imagine being torn between loving and clinging on the boy you once called brother because it's the only family you've known, and being hurt by him, again and again at a later age, having him shatter all you think you are good at. Riko didn't just break Kevin's hand. He almost took away from him all he thought he had left, and possibly the only way Kevin had of feeling close to his mother.

Kevin loses all he's ever known, and he blames himself for it at first because he thinks it's his fault that he even dared to show he could be better than Riko. He's in pieces and the only thing he does is to cling yet on another person. Aka Andrew. And somehow like this, we come back to the point about Kevin not only being far from an emotionless asshole, but actually being the most emotionally attached character in the series.

Entering the timeline of the books, Kevin appears as the epitome of a narcissistic asshole. It's fair for someone (as a reader) to not like him at first, when we don't know all that much about him. But as the story unravels, a clear distinction is made:

Kevin is not a narcissist. He's egocentric.

Kevin knows and truly believes he's the center of attention. Because, admittedly, he is. The books could had easily had Kevin as the protagonist. Like mentioned before, being raised on the spotlight, has had a tremendous impact on how he sees himself. He's obsessed with what image he's presenting to the public. I don't think he said 'being heterosexual is easier' without a reason. Kevin has led a life full of suppression. He can flash a 'press smile' for the cameras, he can snap and be cold at the Foxes, when in reality, he's suffering from severe PTSD, with panic attacks that he's handling in the worst way possible:

Alcohol. Why? Because the Foxes are all assholes and hypocrites. Don't get me wrong, I love them. But the fact that they just ignored Kevin everytime he had a panic attack and simply thrusted a bottle of vodka his way and called it a day? Inexcusable. Kevin needed a lot more than that.

Oh jeez, I wonder why he didn't tell Wymack he was his father all along.

If I see another person saying that Kevin was an ass for not telling Wymack straight up, I might slap a bitch. Do you think that Kevin would have been able to handle another rejection, another loss of a parental figure? All he did, was in self defense. Yes, it was selfish, but it was probably the only time in his life he could really make a choice on his own.

But you know what? Kevin overcame all this. Maybe and most probably not completely, he will never be able to wash away some stains, but he became more confident and emotionally independent. He detached himself both from Riko and from Andrew, and became the best striker in the history of Exy.

One of the reasons why I love Neil and Kevin - especially Kevin - is because their healing journeys are more fleshed out than Andrew's. But in this case, Kevin's was not really given the attention it deserved, it happened on the side lines and he had to do it alone. Neil had the foxes, had Wymack and Andrew. Kevin had no one, because the foxes, despite being assholes themselves, kept dismissing him and his problems. I really do believe that, in the first drafts when Kandreil was canon, Nora had potentially explored his character more. I wish we had gotten that instead of this sloppy attempt to squeeze in his ark along with Neil's.

I'll end this with some highlights that also showcase how badass Kevin is. He's a mess, but he does grow some spine when he finally becomes his own person:

Oof, if you actually read through this, thank you for tolerating my probably incoherent thoughts. I actually barely scratched the surface of my thoughts on Kevin's character but for now, this will do.

[side-effect-of-the-meds]

Raven Girls AU!!!!

Okay so this turned out to be hella long and it’s only the intro :))))))) I’m going to put one of those little cuts on here but it never works on mobile for me so we’ll see how this goes.

Aglionby Academy’s Exy program exists to groom kids for Evermore. The weak are weeded out within a week. Anyone who survives is subjected to brutal abuse. Tetsuji Moriyama bought off Aglionby’s headmaster years ago and now the Raven Academy’s sole purpose is to provide kids for Evermore. They’re a small team, never more than 12 kids make the final cut, but they’ve dominated the nation since their exy program started up. Niall Lynch was the one who insisted on bringing Exy to Evermore. He had been in Japan selling his newest dream when he, quite literally, ran into Kayleigh Day. As much as he wanted to return to Henrietta, he really couldn’t drag himself from her. Kayleigh Day was a storm. She couldn’t sit still for the life of her. She was brimming with light and life and energy. She was Niall’s best friend. With a little of his Southern charm and a lot of dreams, Niall bought his way into university. He wasn’t keen on inventing a new sport but he’d played lacrosse at Aglionby so making the jump to Exy wasn’t hard. Tetsuji became what he called a ‘striker’ while Niall pouted as the team goalkeeper. 

��Aye, love” Kayleigh said, bounding up to him. “You’ve got a right puss on yer face. Is this about you being a goalkeep?” Niall’s scowl only intensified and she laughed. “Look, mate. Between you an me, Tetsuji ain’t the whole shilling. It’s best not to fret too much an leave him be.” Niall’s mood stubbornly refused to improve until Kayleigh offered to take him out drinking if he quit sulking. They drank until neither of them could walk right and Tetsuji and David had to haul them back to their dorms. 

Anyway, Niall moves back to Henrietta and creates Aurora and has Declan and Rose. He continues to travel around the world to sell his dreams. There’s a client up in Ireland so he stops by Kayleigh’s place to visit her. That’s when he finds out about Kevin. Kayleigh tells him who the father is but Niall keeps his mouth shut at her request. His blood is boiling. In the years he spent in Japan with her, Niall had begun to see Kayleigh as a sister. Once more, he finds himself extending his stay to be with her and help take care of Kevin, nevermind that he’s just ditched his own kids. David visits all the time and Niall softens a little. David doesn’t even know it’s his kid and he’s really out here looking after Kevin? That’s cute as hell. 

It’s during this trip that the accident occurs. Niall is the one driving the car. There hadn’t been a single car on the road as he turned the corner. Out of thin air, a jet black car had appeared, hurtling down the road towards them. Kayleigh only had time to say ‘car’ before it rammed into them, full-speed. Time seemed to slow. Niall could, in great detail, remember every second of it: the feel of Kay’s nails biting into his forearm as she braced herself. In the rearview mirror, Kevin’s face was as pale as a ghost. In his hands, he clutched a stuffed rabbit close to his chest as if it could protect him from all of this. All of this was slightly blurred by the tears swimming in Niall’s eyes. Sometimes, late at night, he could still hear the scrape of metal on asphalt as the car flipped over, sliding across the road on its side. 

Niall didn’t trust himself to drive for a long time after that. He didn’t trust himself to take care of Kevin either. Kayleigh’s will stated that she wanted Tetsuji to take Kevin. Niall is too wracked with guilt and sorrow to remember that Kay hadn’t thought Tetsuji was entirely sane. He lets Kevin leave with Tetsuji and takes the next flight back to Virginia. He calls a cab to take him home because he no longer trusts himself to drive. When he sees Declan and Rose again for the first time, he breaks down sobbing. What if they’d been in that car too? What if they were the ones that had died? Sad boi hours hit Niall. Depression results in a lot of his dreams being monsters and rain clouds. All of the things he dreams are tinged blue-gray. One night, he sees Rose in one of his dreams. In it she’s smiling brightly at him, sheltered by a dome of vines blooming with blood-red roses. The next morning he wakes to Rose screaming with delight. He rushes into her room to find it overrun by black vines studded in thorns. They filled the room and climbed the posts of her bed. Blood-red buds hung from the branches. At the center of it all, Rose was sitting up in her bed. A lopsided crown of roses hung from her brow. Rose turned to see her father and smiled. At once, the buds burst open, blooming before Niall’s very eyes. The thorns retracted into their branches. In their place, seaweed green leaves unfurled. The branches reconfigured themselves into an arch overhang over the length of Rose’s bed. Sunlight streamed into the room from the window, casting a halo around Rose’s form. All the weight falls off Niall’s shoulders and tears streamed down his face as a smile tugged at his lips. He collapsed into Rose’s bed and wrapped his arms around her. As her laughter rang in his ears, Niall finally started to believe that maybe everything really would be alright. He pulled her into his lap and listened to Rose prattle on and on about all the things she wanted to do that day. For once, Niall is content to keep his mouth shut and listen. Aurora comes in to find them curled up together and laughs before telling them that breakfast is ready. Niall ignored the implied invitation in favor of dragging her into bed with them. Declan only glares at his father as he passed by the open door. 

Declan is a very lonely little boy. Ever since he was old enough to understand, Niall has taught Declan that his only purpose in life is to take care of Rose. Rose is baby. She must be protected at all costs. He does his best but he does so with a bitter heart. Especially when he realizes that Rose is a dreamer too. Unlike their father, Rose doesn’t dream things for herself. She dreams things for Declan. Rose dreams little firetrucks and model cars and walkie talkies and basketballs. All of them for her brother. Niall never lets Declan keep these little presents. Instead, he snatches them all away to be stored in the attic in boxes labeled with his sister’s name. At some point, Declan starts refusing Rose’s gifts. There’s no point in taking them if their father is just going to pry them from him as soon as Rose’s back is turned. Rose takes this as a sign that she’s upset her brother. She starts offering him little prizes from the woods instead. Shiny pebbles she finds in rivers and baby mice from the barn. Niall doesn’t let Declan keep those either. Eventually, Rose gives up on him and dreams up a brother that loves her. That’s how they get Matthew. 

The Lynchs are Henrietta royalty so they all respect them but everyone genuinely loves Rose. She’s loud and kind and happy. She runs around giving people flowers that she accidentally dreamt up and making silly faces at sad people until they laugh. Rose Lynch is a literal ray of sunshine that’s trapped within the form of a little girl. Often times, people will see her racing around town with Matthew, who she totes around in a little red wagon. They’re only supervision is Declan who’s only a year older than her. Niall insists on putting her in frilly little dresses that Rose always destroys. At some point, Declan starts giving her his clothes so she can change into them before going out on her adventures. He’s taller than she is so he learns how to sew in order to hem the bottoms of the pants. He always neatly cuffs the sleeves on her shirts while she whines before he lets her out of the house too. Niall hates seeing Rose covered in mud so Declan always sits her down in one of those little plastic kiddie pools and hoses her off. He makes her change back into her dress and combs her hair before dinner so that Niall doesn’t find out that she’s been up to mischief. 

If Rose isn’t running around with her brothers, she’s with her father. Niall walks around Henrietta with his daughter clinging to his hand. Her hands are too small for his so she can only hold onto like two of his fingers at a time. At sunset, they head back to the Barns and sit with the cattle, watching the sun sink beneath the horizon. Niall dreams fireflies for Rose to chase late at night. Often, Rose gets carried away chasing them and will stumble into Cabeswater. The forest has slowly but surely been springing up. Every night, she dreams more and more trees into existence. By the time she’s eighteen, it’s a beautiful, sprawling forest that covers several hectares of what was once empty land. Each time baby Rose ventures too far in, the forest bends itself to send her right back home. They give her little trinkets too. Cabeswater has given her a lot of things but my favorites are the following: a little jar of light that glows as bright as the sun but only when she’s alone, a pouch of berries that taste the way hugs feel, an old cd player that plays whatever song she wants but only in the voice of a girl she’s yet to meet, and an anklet with little bells that only Declan can hear. 

Rose doesn’t have very many friends or see many kids her age. There is one though. Nathania Wesninski often accompanies her father on his trips down to Henrietta. Nathan and Niall have some form of agreement in which Niall dreams up forgeries for Nathan’s business. Nathan loves exactly two things in his life: his daughter: Nathania, and his best friend: Niall. So, of course, he brings Ania down to Henrietta with him. He knows the truth about Niall’s ability and Rose’s too. I’ll establish this now because it’s important down the road: Nathan would never actually harm a single hair on Rose’s head. She’s Niall’s favorite kid and he wouldn’t dare do anything to hurt him... would he? 

So, up until her escape, Nathania and Rose see each other once a month/ every two months. They’re p close. They play in the woods together while Niall and Nathan chill on the patio watching them. Everyone is soft for someone and Nathan is soft for Niall. Niall knows who Nathan is and what he does. He’s just learned to accept that part of him because he knows that there’s more to Nathan than just the Butcher of Baltimore. Nathan is still a monster. You’ll see why. 

After Nathania leaves, Nathan is a mess. He becomes far more cruel and cold and hateful. Niall doesn’t find out about it for a while though. When he does, he demands that Nathan return to Henrietta. He does. Nathan is in shambles. Niall spends months piecing him back together. Just as he’s getting better, Lola arrives to tell him that they’ve picked up Mary’s trail. All of Niall’s hard work crumbles to nothing. The Nathan Niall once knew is gone. He can’t stand the new one so he ends up cutting ties entirely. Nathan is enraged. First Mary stole his daughter and now Niall has abandoned him? In a fit of rage, Nathan kills Niall while Rose watches in horror from beneath his car. There’s nothing she can do but pick up her father’s broken corpse once Nathan leaves and call Declan. 

When Niall dies, Rose’s feelings are a whirlwind. Part of her is grateful to no longer be confined to those ridiculous dresses or listen to bullshit stories about her father’s life. Another part of her is kicking herself for thinking such things. How dare she try to find the silver lining in all this? Her father is dead. Rose loved her father but she can’t help but feel a certain weight has fallen off her shoulders. Since she’d started consciously dreaming things, her father had started expecting things of her. No matter what she did, it was never enough. Niall always smiles and accepted whatever she offered him, but Rose couldn’t shake the feeling that she was falling short of his expectations. Gansey wasn’t any help. She’d recently made friends with the eccentric Richard Campbell Gansey III and she didn’t really understand how she’d managed it. 

Rose and Gansey appeared polar opposites. He was all soft lines and a paragon of grace and elegance. Rose was all sharp edges and an apotheosis of all that a girl should not be. All the girls that attend the Ganseys’ parties were mild-mannered with sweet laughs and shy smiles. Rose always felt so out of place trying to talk to them. She heard them snickering amongst themselves as she tripped over her own feet and wobbled in her heels. One night, Rose kicked the shoes off and ran. Sharp rocks stabbed at her soles. Branches scratched at her feet. The wind dried her tears from her face but they couldn’t pry the scowl from her face. She collapsed by the side of the road in a ditch, smearing her new dress in mud. 

“Rose?” a voice called out. She whipped around to find Gansey sliding down into ditch she now knelt in. His clothes were destroyed. Tears in his blazer exposed his muck-covered shirt. He’d definitely fall into something while chasing her. Leaves and twigs were embedded in his hair and his glasses were askew. “Rose, what happened?” he asked as he knelt beside her. Rose was at a loss for words. 

“Why are you here?” she croaked. 

“Because you ran off,” Gansey said. He furrowed his brows. “Was I not supposed to follow you?” Rose didn’t say anything. Gansey interpreted her silence as an affirmation of his fears. “I’m sorry, he whispered. Retreating into his shoulders, Gansey looked a lot less like the coveted son of a congressman and a lot more like a sixteen-year-old kid. He took Rose’s hand in his. ”I’m sorry,” he repeated. “This is all a little bit new to me. I- I’ve never had a friend before,” he said with a meek smile. Haloed by moonlight, Rose was absolutely certain knelt before an angel. This was the Gansey no one else knew. This was Gansey the boy, uncertain and unabashedly so. Rose grabbed Gansey and pulled him into a fierce hug. He tensed at the sudden affection before relaxing enough to wrap his own arms around her. Rose heard his laughter ringing in her ears and smiled. This was Rose’s Gansey, the brother she’d always dreamt of having.

Aglionby Academy is a co-ed school where boys outnumber girls by an outrageous margin. It's like 12 or 13 male students to 1 female. Matthew is a striker. Rose is a backliner and with Declan in goal, they’re unstoppable.  There’s also only ever been 2 girls on the Aglionby Exy team: Rose Lynch and Juliet Kavinsky. Juliet is a striker as well. Declan is captain so he does his best to keep them apart but he can’t stop what happens in the locker room. They’re always throwing punches at each other, on the court, in the locker room, and even in the halls. Gansey usually has to break it up. 

Noah is Noah. Rose likes him a lot. She complains to him a lot about the pretty girl in her English class. Rose was always painfully aware of the quiet girl in the corner who’d once roasted Thaddeus within an inch of his life. She had a quiet intensity to her that forced most of the guys in their school away from her. If you got past that, you realized that she was actually really plain. Her hair was the color of dirt and her eyes were blue. Just blue. Not sky blue or ice blue or anything. Just blue. Her skin was a warm brown in the winter that tanned nicely every summer. Freckles danced across her face and over her arms. Rose wanted to kiss every single one of them. Adeline Parrish was as plain as they came but there was something so undeniably beautiful about her that Rose couldn’t help but stare. On the way up to Aglionby on the very first day of school, Rose had leaned out the window of Gansey’s car to feel the wind in her face. She’s nearly fallen out entirely when she’d caught sight of Adeline for the first time. 

Noah knows Rose’s gay before Rose does. It’s because she keeps waxing poetic about Adeline but he chooses to keep his mouth shut. Instead, he creeps around Aglionby with a little tape recorder. 

Log 247: Parrish curled her legs up to her chest, revealing the shorts she wears under her skirt. Lynch nearly fainted on the spot. She spent the remainder of the day, blushing red as a rose. Hahaha. I’d be a comedian if I weren’t fucking dead.

Blue is Blue. She never dates Adeline but Addy crushes on her… hard. Orla hits on Addy bc she thinks it’s fun. Addy’s suffering is never-ending. Orla tries it on Rose but it has to affect. Rose has eyes for Addy and Addy alone.

Juliet hates Addy bc she spends a lot of time with Rose in their last two years. Jealousy thy name is Juliet and you need to chill tf out. 

Like I’ve said, Evermore takes all the kids from Aglionby and Declan is a year older than Rose. The two of them haven’t resolved their issues by the time he graduates. Instead, he marches bravely into the belly of Evermore, fully prepared to face Tetsuji’s torture. The Moriyamas want the Grey Warren and they will have it if they have to kill for it. They know it’s a person, just not who. 

Why do they want the Grey Warren? Well, who could stand against the head of a mafia that could dream up troops on a whim? They intend to breed more dreamers and harness their abilities to take over all of North America. Declan would rather die than let his sister fall into the hands of the Moriyamas so he suffers through eighteen-hour days on the court and then nightly torture to protect her. On his bedside is a glass of water with a single rose. Every night he changes out the water and measures out a little food for it. He talks to it too. He tells it about how well he’s doing in school and out on the court. He tells it how proud he is of it and cries himself to sleep because he’s going to die here at Evermore without a chance to tell the real Rose all of these things. 

While he’s there, he discovers Cleo bc everyone at Evermore knows that the child exists. His ‘Dad’ instincts activate immediately. He raised Rose and she turned out fine… more or less. So, yeah, in this AU Jeanie isn’t quite as alone as she was in the og one. He also helps Jeanie escape Evermore with Cleo and Ania. There’s Hell to pay for it but he has no regrets. Tetsuji finds the rose and plucks each of the petals off and lets them fall to the floor as Declan screams. Logically, Declan knows it isn’t his sister but it’s the only thing he’d got left of her. After that, he kind of starts drifting, dissociating through most of his days. What’s the point? Jeanie and Cleo have left and now even his rose is gone. 

Alright, so timeline, all of this is occurring during Ania’s first year. While Ania is running from Riko, Tetsuji is mostly preoccupied with Declan and the Grey Warren. And then Nathan is a thing. I’ll get to this in a minute. 

Anyway, the Gangsy is formed and they’re having their adventures while Addy falls in love with Blue and Rose suffers. Rose wants to hate Blue for stealing her woman but Blue is oddly charming. She’s loud and fearless and actually really admirable. Rose has a begrudging respect for her. They’ve got a game called Blue’s Clues bc Rose is a nerd. She’ll nick things from Blue’s house and leave clues on how to find it. Blue always goes bc Rose always picks things that are incredibly important to her. While Blue is out there tracking down whatever it is Rose has taken from her, Rose has Addy all to herself. They do all the stupid antics that Ronan and Adam did in. They go couch surfing a lot. Not that one. I’m talking about the one where they tie a couch to the back of a truck and drag it behind them as the truck hurtles down the road. Addy has almost died on several occasions because of this. Noah loves going with them. He fears nothing bc he’s already dead :(

So in their senior year, after Addy leaves her father’s home to live at the church, the tuition rate goes up. Fuck. Addy’s working three jobs and is barely able to make ends meet. So she goes down to talk to the Headmaster to see if she can cut a deal. He’s a ho about it. Just as Addy is giving up hope he says, “You know, there’s another way you could pay off your tuition.” He smiles at her. It’s a cruel and sharp thing. He doesn’t have to say anything else. Addy already knows what he means. She excuses herself from the room and he calls after her, telling her it was just an offer and she was going to need another job anyway. 

Henrietta is a small town. If she loaned her body out to the Headmaster, others would start trying to put a price on her body as well. In no time, she’d be infamous. No, she told herself. There’s got to be another way. So she goes home with all these thoughts swirling in her head. Rose is laying in Addy’s bed when Addy gets home. “Oh, looks like Her Majesty’s got something on her mind,” Rose says as she rolls onto her stomach. “Care to share, Queenie?” Addy doesn’t respond and Rose starts to worry. It takes a lot of prodding but Addy eventually tells Rose about the Headmaster’s offer. Rose’s blood is boiling. 

Instead of dreaming it up, the girls actually go in and break into the Headmaster’s residence. To their horror, they find evidence that Addy isn’t the first girl he’s made the offer to. It isn’t just girls either. They find hundreds of photos of girls and boys far too young to have consented to any of this bound to a bed, beaten and bruised all over. It’s the same bed in the room next door. The Headmaster has a scar running the length of his forearm. In more than one of the photos, the scar is visible as it pins the kids down. They copy the files and find videos too. Both of them are scarred for life by the time they stumble out of the Headmaster’s office but they’ve got what they needed. This isn’t just about Addy anymore. It’s about all of those kids they’d just seen. 

Due to the indisputable evidence they’ve presented, the Headmaster is fired and is to be sent to a max. security prison but he offers info on a major mob family: The Moriyamas. They kill him before he gets a word out but they’re screwed now. They can no longer feed kids from Aglionby into Evermore. They’re also about to lose their one link to the Grey Warren. The Moriyamas descend on Henrietta like a murder of ravens. Juliet finds about their nefarious plot and, being the lovesick fool she is, offers herself in place of Rose. The Moriyamas don’t know what there’s more than one dreamer so they take Juliet and they leave. Rose is concerned at the disappearance of Juliet but she doesn’t read super far into it until she gets the phone call. I’ll get to that in a minute. Now we’re getting to the really bad part. Time for Nathan to be a disgusting excuse for a human being. 

Juliet is brought to Baltimore and chucked into the basement of the Wesninski House. She’s left there for about a week. Food is thrown down once a day but at no discernable interval. There’s no way for Juliet to tell time. She’s just a sobbing mess. Finally, Nathan descends the steps. Juliet tries to fight him but his men arrive and hold her down. 

“Juliet,” he said with a soft voice. “Hush, my dear.” Nathan brushed the hair from her face and Juliet bit at him. “Feisty,” he chuckled. Juliet snarled. “Oh, I’d put that attitude away if I were you.” 

“Or what?” Juliet snapped. 

“You know, flowers don’t do well without sunlight. I wonder what might happen if I trapped a little rose down here.” Juliet felt the blood drain from her face. She opened her mouth but no words came out. “I’m glad you’ve decided to see things my way, Juliet,” Nathan chirped. Suddenly, he sobered. His smile fell away and his shoulders sagged. “You know why you’re here, Kavinsky. Master had plans for you but I’ve managed to persuade him to… alter them. You still have to bear an heir but they aren’t going to touch you.” Nathan took a deep breath. From behind him, a woman came out. A wicked smile twisted her face as she offered him what looked like a turkey baster. “I’m going to make this as painless as possible, alright?” Juliet screamed and the men tightened their grip on her. They anchored her down to the floor and she felt a hand slip under her skirt. The woman’s manic laughter echoed through the basement, mingling with the screams and sobs of Juliet. 

After that, Juliet is taken out of the basement. She spends the remainder of her time in the lap of luxury. She’s moved to a beautiful room on the third floor of the house but Juliet knows a cage when she sees one. 

Nathan doesn’t really bother her bc he feels bad. To be clear, he did argue that she shouldn’t be raped by this is an equally traumatic experience so… Anyway, he can’t stand seeing Juliet and it’s because she’s around Ania’s age. 

Physically, Ania takes after her father for the most part, but personality-wise she takes after her mother (except for her temper. That’s pure Wesninski). Nathan and Mary loved their daughter more than anything in the world but they’re both such broken people that they don’t really know how to show her this. That’s the origin of the Kiss, Kiss game I talked about a thousand years ago. Nathan is so fucking pissed when Mary runs away with Ania. That’s his baby. She was the light of his miserable life and now she’s gone. He didn’t want to send Ania to the Moriyamas either but in his head, it was for the best. At least, he would get to visit her when he came to Evermore for… business. So he sets out to track her down. His anger overwhelms him when he catches up to Mary. He kills her for taking his daughter and Ania escapes while he’s thrown in jail. When he comes home to find Juliet in his basement, all he can think of is Ania. If anything like this were to happen to his daughter? There wouldn’t be any goddamn survivors is what. He knows what he’s done is wrong and he can’t face Juliet bc all he can see is his own daughter. He shreds all the photos of her and burns all of her things. He had all the mirrors in his house covered and can barely even stand the tiny, warped reflection of himself that he sees in his spoons. 

Over the course of his eight-year hunt, Nathan’s grief costs many people their lives. Niall is almost successful in his attempt to patch Nathan back up but we know how that ends. Rose Lynch is the last remaining piece of Niall. Nathan doesn’t dare return to Henrietta, not because he’s afraid of her but because he’s afraid of himself. He doesn’t want to hurt her too. However, he doesn’t have any qualms with threatening her safety to get Juliet to comply. Disgusting little man. 

Juliet can hear the tortured screams of people in the basement and it stresses her out to the point that she has a miscarriage. This occurs the day Ania is supposed to return home. Nathan goes ballistic. He drags Juliet down to the basement by her hair and is just tirading.

“Juliet, do you comprehend what you’ve just done?” he asked her as he flung things across the room. “We’re fucked. We are so fucking fucked. Do you think I enjoy this?” he screamed. Juliet is sobbing. She’s covered in the blood of her child and bound to a chair with so escape. 

He’s in absolute hysterics by the time Lola arrives with Ania. Seeing Ania, he suddenly remembers that she isn’t just his daughter. She’s Mary’s. Mary Hatford who stole his child away from him in the middle of the night. Mary Hatford who incurred the wrath of the Moriyamas and left him to pick up the pieces. Mary Hatford who’s made his life a misery for the last eight years. In his hysterics, he goes after Ania. He’s going to slit her tendons and skin her alive. He’s going to destroy the one thing Mary Hatford loved.

Fortunately, Stuart shows up and saves the day bc he’s literally the best. When he finds Ania, he finds Juliet too. He unbinds her and tells her that the FBI are coming. She’s too much of a mess to really understand anything at this point so she just kinda lets things happen.

Juliet wakes in a hospital bed to the sound of a girl’s voice arguing with a man. Prying her eyes open, Juliet finds herself in a bed across from a girl who looks very much like the man who impregnated her. She’s screaming and kicking and crying. They nurses inject her with something and she falls asleep. The next time Juliet wakes, the girl is gone. The FBI ask her if she’s got a family and she says she does. They ask her to call them. She calls Gansey. 

Rose is laying in Gansey’s bed, messing with a Rubik’s cube while he paces the floor talking about something or the other when the call comes. Gansey’s face pales and Rose knows something is wrong. 

“That was Kavinsky,” he said as he hung up. “Get the girls. I’ll call Henry and Declan. We’re leaving. Now.” There was a note of finality to his voice that silenced Rose. She got up and grabbed her jacket as she raced out to find Addy and Blue. The four of them pile into one car with the Lynchs in the other. They make the drive up to Baltimore in silence, swinging by Evermore to grab Declan.

Juliet is empty. There are no tears when the Gangsy and the Lynchs arrive. She doesn’t say anything either. She just extends her arms out to Rose who collapses into them. Rose doesn’t leave Juliet’s side for a long time. Declan and Gansey go to sort things out with the Feds. Addy, Blue, and Henry all stay with Rose and Juliet. No one really knows what to do. 

Long story short, Gansey turns up his Southern Charm to a 12 so Juliet can come home with them. Noah doesn’t need a bedroom so he offers it up and Juliet stays at Monmouth for the remainder of the year. She also doesn’t go to school.

Rose wants to help but after their reunion in Baltimore, Juliet refuses to see her. Juliet was tortured because she offered herself in Rose’s place. It’s not that she regrets it, it’s just that seeing Rose reminds her of everything. Henry is the first person Juliet lets in. He’s mastered the art of appearing non-threatening to girls bc he is a kind, considerate young man. Fight me. He also wasn’t a part of the Gangsy when she was taken. He distracts her with the little bee and flowers he finds on the way back from school. Juliet likes letting him drive her around the town at night too. They go out to the mountains and Juliet will scream and curse Nathan’s name until she breaks down. Henry always puts her back together and brings her home. Little by little, he brings her out of her shell and gets her to open up to the other girls too. 

It’s a joint effort between Declan and Gansey to set up Juliet’s new living arrangements. With Addy getting into Yale and Blue, Henry, and Gansey’s road trip plans, they don’t want to leave Juliet alone. So Declan calls Jeanie and Gansey calls Rhemann. They arrange for Juliet to move to Cali with Jeanie and join the Trojans. With some gentle coaxing from Henry, Juliet agrees. 

Wymack drives Jeanie out to meet Juliet so that the two can fly out together. He meets Rose then. Up until then, Rose was supposed to head to Evermore like every other Aglionby kid. When the headmaster was fired, all plans for college fell through. Rose didn’t want to go to college but she wouldn’t have minded getting to play exy just a little longer. Wymack’s already seen Rose’s file and Gansey pulls him aside after he leaves Jeanie to meet Juliet. It doesn’t take much for Wymack to realize that Rose is prime fox material. She’s seen her father get murdered and watched her mother die. Her elder brother was a violent drunk and was known for raising his fists at her. That’s a Fox if Wymack had ever seen one. He offers Rose a place on the Palmetto line. She’s hesitant but Matt thinks it’s a good idea. Wymack tells her to sleep on it so Rose takes the packet and goes home. 

Declan is waiting for her when she arrives. He tells her the truth about Evermore and about the Moriyamas plan. There’s a lot of tears and screaming from Rose. Declan just grabs her and holds her close until most of her rage passes. Declan is getting sent to intense therapy with the rest of the Ravens. Matt is moving up north to be closer to Declan. Even Kavinsky is moving away. What’s Rose going to do? Stay at the Barnes? By herself? 

"It's awful lonely out here," Declan said. "Dad had to dream up Mom so he wouldn't be all alone. What are you going to do? Dream a new Parrish? That wouldn't be fair. You'd never love her as much as the real Addy.”

“Maybe I dreamt the first one,” Rose said as she kicked her dangling legs. The two of them were sitting on the roof. Despite the setting sun, it was still unbearably hot. That didn’t stop her from sitting pressed up against her brother. Declan didn’t seem inclined to move away anyway. 

Declan snorted and turned a wry smile at her. “No offense, Rosie, but even you couldn’t dream someone as perfect as Adeline Parrish.” 

“No. I guess I couldn’t,” Rose replied. She felt the blush creeping down her neck. To Rose, Adeline Parrish was proof that God was real. No one else could have crafted a human so perfect. Or maybe Addy wasn’t human at all. Whatever she might be, Rose loved her with her whole heart. Declan was right. Rose wasn’t going to survive here without Addy. Exy would make a good distraction. Maybe she’d even get to play against Yale and Addy would come watch. Rose had her coach fax the signed papers to Wymack the very next morning. 

On the last day of Rose’s summer break, she spent the day beneath Addy, savoring the feel of her calloused hands on every inch of her own exposed skin. She moaned softly as she felt the press of Addy’s lips on her inner thighs. Her hands clawed desperately at her sheets. 

“No touching,” Addy murmured.

“I’m not,” Rose whined. She screwed her shut as she felt Addy’s teeth nipping at the area she’s just kissed over. It was too much and too little all at once. “Addy,” she begged. “Addy, please.” Rose could barely form a coherent thought, let alone speak. Fortunately, Addy got the message. A gasp slipped past Rose’s lips as she felt Addy’s fingers slip beneath the material of Rose’s boxers. 

“You've been such a good girl for me, Rose,” Addy crooned as she trailed lazy kisses up Rose’s body. “I guess you’ve earned the right to touch.” Rose immediately wound her hands in Addy’s hair. “Someone’s desperate.” Rose kissed Addy soundly on the mouth to stop her from talking. If she heard one more word from that damned mouth, she was sure she’d implode. 

The next morning, Rose woke to the smell of breakfast. She dragged herself downstairs and assaulted Addy’s face with sleepy kisses. Rose let her feed her breakfast and tugged on a bra and tank top as the screen door banged shut. Today is the day Gansey and the others are leaving for their road trip. Addy is going to stay with Matt, Declan, and Opal until school starts. Rose is going to drive out to Palmetto by herself. After a thousand hugs and a whole twenty minutes of goodbyes, the three cars take off in different directions. 

It’s not a long drive out to Palmetto but it’s a lonely one. It’s only been half an hour and Rose already misses everyone. She turns up the murder squash song to drown her thoughts out and makes her way to South Carolina. 

She pulls up to the Foxhole Court and finds a girl with hair as red as blood and ices like frozen lakes waiting for her on the hood of a car far more expensive than Rose’s. The sight of her knocks the breath out of Rose’s lungs. Nathania Wesninski, Nathan’s daughter, is here. Shit. 

God, that was long! The Raven Girls ask will pick up from here... eventually. 

[fallingin-like]

november 12

peu à peu by @zombiesolace​ [requested by @jsteneil]

see which other fics i’m reviewing this month! / my review request post!

this is a really interesting character study on post-canon kevin and how he finds his place within the foxes and deals with the aftermath of the events within the series. this fic has a lot of introspection and does a really great job of unpacking everything.

this is such an intriguing fic to me, i don’t see that many that really delve into kevin and his thoughts. i can’t imagine how difficult of a time he must have, both throughout the series and during post-canon events. this fic really made me better appreciate the struggles that he goes through because it’s really common to have his actions portrayed without any of this explanation or why he acts in certain ways. we always see his single-mindedness with respect to exy and just kind of write it off as kevin being kevin. i think you effectively explored his character and inner thoughts.

some parts that stood out to me:

“it goes like this: they lose.” uhm somehow you were able to break my heart in the first two lines of the fic? i love the simplicity of the way you worded this, it contrasts really well with the significance of what it means, for the foxes, but especially for kevin.

kevin yelling at the team after the loss feels very in character. it reminds me of what he was apparently like when coaching the foxes prior to playing, and we see a little bit of it in the books themselves. it really comes down to the fact that kevin is desperate. for a lot of the foxes, the loss stings, but at the end of the day it’s just a loss. the criticism is harsh and they don’t understand why kevin is so hard on them. to kevin, it’s his life. not just because of the fact that he’s definitely trying to go pro and have exy as his career and not just because the moriyamas are definitely watching over him, but because that’s how he was raised as a child. kevin’s terrible childhood is somewhat overshadowed by the rest of the foxes, but he likely still has trauma from how he was raised in the nest, under the master and riko. so much pressure that it feels natural that he wants to try and regain control in some way.

”they’re a team, they fall together. and yet after each game this year, kevin has found himself falling apart alone. biting shame and swallowing frustration as he tears into each overanalyzed mistake” i find in life it’s so easy to isolate yourself from the people around you. the foxes probably find it hard to be sympathetic towards kevin, but they probably don’t realise that as harsh as he is to them, he is exponentially more critical of himself. in your own head, mistakes can be an unending loop, constant and distracting. this fic is really opening my eyes to what kevin is dealing with and appreciating him so much more.

”their win last year was a fluke. a gift given to them by virtue of the trojans. a simply byproduct of the hardiness of the foxes and the instability of riko’s collapsing domain.” ohmygoodness nooo it’s always so hard for me as an outsider to see kevin (and really anyone) struggle with the imposter syndrome. so many people (including many talented fanfic authors!!) write off their talent, skill, and hard work as fluke or luck as opposed to the many hours spent bettering themselves and practicing.

”it is with an overwhelming sense of dread that kevin thinks of his death. with each day the reality of riko’s loss feels more sure… kevin wishes riko’s ghost had followed. he wishes riko were still alive. he wishes he were alone, he wishes he weren’t.” wow i love the way you wrote this, with his conflicting thoughts. since we experienced the series through neil’s pov, riko’s death feels more like victory and less like a loss. it’s something to be celebrated. but i think it can almost be seen as similar to mary’s death, which neil mourned. both characters were abusive and did things that were wrong. and yet, they were loved. whether we like it or not, riko was kevin’s family and though their relationship was twisted and manipulated, especially as they grew older, riko was the person that kevin was closest to. emotions are so complicated and i bet kevin feels like he can’t discuss this with the other foxes, who don’t quite understand.

”he knows that his commentary is far more nuanced by virtue of being a fox. kevin takes the out and opens the folder he has on the roadrunners.” this is kind of small, but i find it has some significance. it can be so easy to do the thing that you know is self destructive and get caught in a rabbit hole of pages and articles of bad. good on kevin for not doing that.

”the name wymack clings to his tongue. coach sits temptingly at the back of his palette. my dad, his mind whispers, the words clear and intrusive.” ugH it must be so so hard for kevin to work through this. i love these lines.

”andrew pokes his head out of the bedroom. he stares blankly at kevin, his hair mussed… he leaves the door partially ajar. kevin feels something in his chest loosen.” oo i really really liked this part. andrew has his own unique way of showing that he cares and i love seeing the small things that he does.

the whole conversation between dan and kevin is so interesting. the actual information that you’re sharing about exy and the way that they interact. i think you did a great job of showing a realistic back and forth.

”riko was always right there. kevin never had to call him.” these two sentences, and actually that whole section is really just so heartbreaking. you do a great job of making me understand kevin, something i haven’t really done so before.

”that’s not true. he does know. he enjoys having the ability to express his opinion. it’s a novelty he’s still getting used to.” oh, kevin.

”kevin can’t see any of the foxes. they disappeared into the store moments upon arrival and three out of the four are too short to be seen over the aisles.” lol what a mood (i am short)

kevin’s interaction with the fans is so interesting. i wonder if he often dealt with actually meeting fans during his time as a raven. it’s also really interesting to see neil from this point of view, he almost seems… unfamiliar? but not in a bad way. it kind of really brings us into the perspective of kevin.

abby-kevin relationship is so nice. i think it’s great that kevin has a maternal figure that he can find comfort in

the section on kayleigh is just so so sad. it makes me feel grief for someone i never knew. it aches knowing that she was such a wonderful woman, that kevin had her and now he doesn’t.

”’wooo!’ nicky shouts, ‘now that was a wake up call i didn’t need.’” ohmygoodness i love the way that you write nicky! it really lightens the fic a bit more.

honestly the bit about jean being waterboarded is horrifying to me. 

i like that wymack took kevin to riko’s funeral. there’s a sense of closure that has to do with it, kevin being with his real family while saying goodbye to what used to be his family

”he doesn’t recall riko breaking his had. he remembers before, and he remembers after but he doesn’t remember the moment his life changed.” i really appreciate the formatting you used with this, the line separating the first sentence, the way that you broke up the second sentence into two lines. it feels more impactful, more significant.

”he can see nicky and aaron showing off their most ridiculous dance moves in the corner for one another” oh my goodness this is amazing

“he wonders if they’ll call him an ex-fox when he graduates or if he’ll always be labeled an ex-raven. the nest had a quiet energy that fox tower doesn’t.” oh oh i like this a lot

also i like how you broke up the texts with paragraphs of kevin’s thoughts. it shows the gaps between his texts more and i feel his loneliness more keenly. the double-texting with the periods between reminds me of when i am at my loneliest

i love kevin’s conversation with jeremy. he’s known as one of the nicest, brightest characters in the series, but we really see why. how he is able to relax kevin and just speak to him.

your explanation of kevin choosing history as his major is so insightful, i’ve never really considered it, but now i wish i had

”i want andrew to enjoy himself. he does it rarely, kevin, you’re aware of that” renne is just so great.

the part about kevin using twitter, especially as a way to try and connect with thea is so interesting to me.

”’does he know you’re better than he is?’ she’d whispered in his ear” I LOVE THIS LINE what a turning point in kevin’s journey

ahh the part about nicky telling andrew about the conspiracy station, it’s so nice to see the way they are bonding like his

andrew is such a complicated character, i absolutely adore the way that you write him. a lot of the time i read a softer side of him, through the perspective of neil. kevin and andrew have a fascinating relationship, i love seeing it from kevin. “he gives kevin a thumbs up”, “i hear you, andrew says” these are so perfect

wymack giving kevin an extra jacket is peak dad behaviour.

recently i’ve been so fond of seeing authors incorporate the title of their fic into the writing. this is no different, it makes the title have that much more meaning “little by little, the bird builds his nest” i love this. how did you come across this quote? it’s so fitting for this fic

the dynamic between dan, wymack, and kevin is so so interesting. wymack and kevin are so similar that sometimes i guess it causes a distance because they’re not the best at communication. and it must be hard. they’re related, but still have so much to learn about each other. i guess i’ve never though much of how close dan and wymack are. you do a really good job at capturing the tension that exists, the interactions.

”he thinks a lot of people would rather he never spoke again” oh no this hit me hard

the little part where kevin and dan are talking about neil’s shot, i like this little bonding that we see. exy is the thing that has brought them together

”’you’ll make a good wymack,’ he says. dan jerks back, her mouth open, and her eyes stunned.” oh this is so nice

”he wants to say he’s my dad, but he’s hers too; hers more so and that’s dan’s point. what would he know? ‘he saved me too,’ he says instead” oh my goodness i love this so much

sorry but neil and kevin teaming up and nicky and aaron teaming up so that andrew loses is the best part of this fic and anyone that believes otherwise can fight me!!! “when they arrive in columbia andrew makes an aborted move like he will shut neil out of their room and it’s the first time kevin hears something like a laugh from neil.” this is so soft i needed this

go thea!!! thank you for making her so amazing in this fic!!! i like how you write their relationship, it’s refreshing and really interesting, we don’t know that much about thea

THEA TAKING OFF HER NECKLACE WHEN KEVIN CHANGES HIS TATTOO THIS IS THE BEST

there’s so much that you covered in this fic. kevin’s relationship with exy, riko, the rest of the foxes, wymack. i love the way that you worked through everything. the gradual improvement of the foxes following with kevin’s mental health improving. but we can really see how far he has come when they lose and he’s okay with it. you made me feel so close to kevin. your writing is wonderful, so many little details that just build to make this fic amazing. thank you so much for writing this!

[emmerrr]

If you're still accepting prompts, maybe some father-son bonding with Kevin and Wymack? I've always headcanoned that Abby would be the one to make them do it, so maybe some of that?

a wymack prompt! anon, you are speaking my language :) I set this really soon after TKM so it’s very early days bonding and it’s more wymack focused (I find kevin so hard to write even though I love him so much) but I hope this is okay!

(read on ao3)

-

Following their championship final victory against the Ravens and the shock of Riko’s ‘suicide’, David would have really preferred all of his Foxes to stay close, stay together, where he can keep an eye on them all. As it happens, during the month off before summer practices start again, his rag-tag team are even more scattered than they’d usually be this time of year.

The upperclassmen have all returned home with the exception of Allison who has gone with Renee, and even Andrew’s lot have separated. Nicky’s in Germany visiting Erik, and although Aaron, Andrew, Kevin and Neil have all been staying at Abby’s for easy access to the court, Aaron is spending the last two weeks with Katelyn and her family.

David knows that Andrew at least would have preferred to have spent his summer vacation at the cousins’ house in Columbia, but Kevin has understandably had trouble coming to terms with everything that has happened, and Andrew has always actually been very supportive if you know what to look for, and David does.

So they stayed on campus, near the court for Kevin. Neil’s easy to do whatever Andrew does, and it’s not like having extra Exy time would be a problem for him; he and Kevin are of the same mind in that regard.

Even Andrew has his limits, however, and so for the last few days of their precious time off, he and Neil head back to Columbia alone to have some time to themselves. It leaves Kevin without Andrew for the first time in what feels like forever. He’s not under Andrew’s protection anymore — he doesn’t need to be — but old habits die hard, and David finds himself wondering how well Kevin’s coping.

David spends most of Friday morning at the tail-end of summer break working from home in his apartment, sorting out arrangements for the new recruits to arrive; who’s going to pick them up from the airport, room assignments and so on. When he’s finished, he hops in his car and heads over to Abby’s, picking up coffee and donuts on the way.

“It’s only me,” he calls as he enters Abby’s house without knocking.

“In here!” comes Abby’s reply, and David follows her voice to the kitchen. Abby is washing the dishes and so her back is to him, but she turns when she hears him put his offerings on the table. She eyes the coffee and smiles. “You’re a life-saver.”

“I try.” David pulls out a chair and helps himself to a donut. “Where’s Kevin? I got one for him, too.”

Abby dries her hands and sits down opposite. “I dropped him off at the stadium about an hour ago.”

David frowns. “He’s practicing alone?” At Abby’s nod, he sighs. “Everyone else is taking a break, he should too. It’s only a couple days until everyone’s back anyway.”

Abby’s look is knowing. “I think he’s just trying to keep busy. It’s too quiet around here with everyone gone.”

“He could have gone with Andrew and Neil. I know Neil invited him.”

Abby arches an eyebrow. “Would you want to play third-wheel?”

It’s a fair point. No one really talks much about Andrew and Neil’s relationship because it’s not worth the aggravation of getting either no response, or of incurring Andrew’s ire. But a relationship it definitely is, so David can understand Kevin not wanting to intrude.

“Maybe you should go down there,” Abby says. “Keep him company for a little while.”

David takes a long sip of his coffee without breaking eye-contact with Abby. She acts casual, but David knows what she’s getting at. “I’m sure he doesn’t want me getting in the way,” he says.

“David,” Abby says gently, then seems to struggle to figure out what she wants to say next. “It’s just — have you spent any time with Kevin alone at all since finding out he was your son?”

“Hey, I took him to get his tattoo covered,” he says defensively, because the whole, hey by the way, Coach, you’re my dad reveal is a touchy subject; it’s still a little raw and Abby knows that.

“Yes,” she allows, “and then you let him get blind drunk the night before a championship final.”

David scowls. “We won, didn’t we?” Kevin had plenty of time to sleep it off on the bus and David had known that which was why he’d let it happen, but still, he supposes Abby has a point.

Abby graciously ignores his comment and bulls on in that gentle way of hers, a thousand times more effective than her getting angry would be. “You’re his father, David. You should get to know him outside of Exy.”

David sighs. Kevin’s words before the final — my father comes to all of my games — are still circulating in David’s head. He knows how to be Kevin’s coach, he just doesn’t know how to be his father. He was never given the opportunity to learn.

He can’t make up for time lost, but he has time now.

He downs the rest of his coffee and picks his keys up off the table. He points at Abby on his way out the door. “You’re a fucking menace, by the way,” he says, but there’s no malice in it. Abby just smiles and shrugs innocently.

*

Inside the stadium, David can hear balls ricocheting off the court walls before he gets close, and when he opens the doors to the outer ring, Kevin looks to be doing accuracy drills. There’s a bucket of balls in the middle of the court, and Kevin is studiously picking them out one by one and trying to rebound shots to the same spot over and over again.

David watches for a couple of minutes. Kevin hasn’t noticed his presence yet, his singular focus evident in his narrowed eyes, his posture. His dedication and drive to always better himself are enviable traits, and David is struck once again by how proud he is of Kevin. He’s come so far.

David turns and heads to the changing rooms, pulling on some spare practice gear and grabbing a helmet and stick. Abby had said to get to know Kevin outside of Exy, but Exy is something they have in common, and it’s the perfect place to start.

Kevin whirls around in surprise when David knocks loudly on the court walls to announce his entry, and almost drops his racquet when he takes in David all kitted out.

“Coach? What are you doing?”

“I’m giving you someone to play against,” David replies. “What does it look like I’m doing?”

Kevin hesitates, then a small smile flickers on his face. “Not much of an opponent, are you,” he says, not a question.

He’s right, really. David doesn’t move like he used to, especially after his old hip injury, but even in his younger days he never quite had the skill that Kevin does. But that’s not really the purpose here. “It’s always useful to have someone trying to block you,” David reasons gruffly. “And don’t be so fuckin’ rude.”

For a couple of seconds David thinks Kevin might dismiss the exercise entirely as a waste of his time, but he tilts his head to the side, considering, and then he nods. Maybe he knows that running Exy drills isn’t David’s only agenda, maybe he just realises that playing against a person is better than playing against yourself. Or maybe he’s just lonely and appreciates the company.

Whatever the reason, David will take it.

Together they pick up the stray Exy balls that are scattered across the half court until there’s just one left. David moves the bucket down the opposite end of the court out of their way.

They face off at the half-court line, Kevin with the ball and David acting as a backliner. The game is simple: Kevin tries to score, David tries to stop him.

The first few times are child’s play for Kevin; David’s nowhere near warmed up enough, not to mention he hasn’t been on the court in a playing capacity for more years than he’s comfortable remembering. He half expects Kevin to get frustrated at not being pushed hard enough, but it doesn’t happen, and David soon finds his stride.

After Kevin gets past him for the eighth time, David steps back, makes an impossible twist and intercepts, cracking Kevin’s racquet with his own and catching the ball as it pops out of Kevin’s net. Behind his helmet, Kevin looks surprised and then impressed, clearly recognising the move, and David allows himself a small smile.

Kevin’s not the only one who was taught to play by Kayleigh Day.

They play for another intensive twenty minutes and David only manages to block Kevin a grand total of three times out of countless attempts, but Kevin doesn’t scoff, doesn’t slow down, doesn’t insult David by taking it easy on him or complain about the fact he doesn’t offer much of a challenge.

By the time David calls time, his hip is twinging from over-exertion — Abby’ll be mad — and he’s a panting mess. He lowers himself to the floor, leaning up against the court walls, removing his helmet and tossing it to the side.

Kevin takes off his own helmet, then jogs across court with the Exy ball and puts it back in the bucket. Then he jogs back over to David, barely looking out of breath.

David feels embarrassingly unfit.

But Kevin’s smiling slightly when he sits down at David’s side. “Good game, old man,” he says wryly.

David side-eyes him. “Back in my day, I’d kick your ass, kid.”

Kevin snorts. “Sure you would.”

They settle into silence, but it’s not uncomfortable, and it gives David a chance to get his breath back. When he has, he says, “You’re looking good out there.”

Kevin shrugs. “My accuracy is still a little off.” He holds his left hand up between them, the scars prominent, and he narrows his eyes at them, expression pinched. “It’s just not quite there yet.”

“It will be,” David says with utter belief. “It’s already so much better than it was. Just don’t push it too hard. You can play with both hands now, and that’s an important weapon.”

Kevin nods. “Yeah. I know.” He sighs. “It’s just frustrating.”

They’re still talking about Exy, but it’s different somehow. It’s not within the context of an official practice, and although they’ve talked about Kevin’s hand before, they haven’t since David found out he was Kevin’s father. And it does make a difference. David cares about all his Foxes, all his kids, but there is a difference. Kevin’s his kid.

“What are you doing for the rest of the day?” David asks.

“I was gonna call Abby and get her to pick me up. Read a book or something, I dunno.” He shrugs again, then looks at David. “Since you’re here, you can give me a ride instead though, right?”

“No problem.” He checks the time and reasons by the time they’re cleaned up and on their way, it’ll be a good time to eat. “If you want, or you’ve got nothing better to do, we could grab some lunch?”

Kevin pauses, starts picking at a thread on his jersey. “Just you and me?”

“And Abby, if she wants to come. We don’t have to,” David’s quick to reassure. Baby steps. No hard feelings. “It’s just a thought.”

“No,” Kevin says quickly, glancing at David and then away again. “No, that sounds good. We… we should see if Abby wants to come, though.”

Kevin gets to his feet and holds out his hand for David, a twinkling in his eye that reminds David painfully of Kayleigh. “C’mon, Coach, I’ve got you,” he says, all mirth.

David takes his hand and allows himself to be pulled up but he glowers at Kevin. “Just because we haven’t technically started the season yet, doesn’t mean I won’t sign you up for every fucking marathon I can for the next two years.”

Kevin grins. “You’re all talk. I know you, Coach.”

David smiles back. It’s a good start.

[pavotaulait]

He waits for mamma at daycare.

 Sometimes, like now she’s late. But the daycare is open until 11 tonight so he’s not worried. His mamma is an Exy star.

 No, she’s more like a goddess in the mythology books she gave him for Christmas. She made the world of Exy and she makes the stars.

 Kayleigh Day is beyond human in Kevin’s eyes.

 So it's ok if she takes longer to get him. She’s very busy and she doesn’t need to worry about him while she makes mortal men into demigods.

 It's just him and Sarah now. They both sit at an empty rectangle table coloring while Miss. Ann makes tater tots and corn dogs and broccoli.

 Kevin insisted because momma said athletes have to take care of their bodies by eating right and training. Kevin is gonna be like momma.

 He’s going to be the best in Exy.

 He draws himself with a gold medal standing next to his momma. Scrunches the paper up because it doesn’t look right and Sarah watches him watching the clock when he can’t draw anymore.

 Miss. Ann picks up the phone.

 -

 ***

Kevin does not want to go to uncle Tetsuji’s.

 Kevin doesn’t wanna make his momma sad either.

 He doesn’t want to sit in the car for ten hours but he does to be good. Kayleigh is in the stars looking down on him so he doesn’t tell the social worker no when she packs up his things but he picks at his lip until it bleeds.

 They met once before. Uncle Tetsuji came to visit the hotel Kevin and mamma stayed in. They had coffee and Kevin had cocoa while mamma talked about the future. They had been in America for five months at the time. Kevin had been good then too.

He hadn’t told mamma he wanted to go back to Ireland.

 Or that Uncle Tetsuji looked at him in a way that knotted up his stomach. He drank his cocoa.

 Uncle Tetsuji had said he had a nephew around Kevin’s age.

 Kevin can’t imagine the stern man taking Kevin outside and tossing a ball with him in the cool summer evenings. He can’t imagine him singing songs with Kevin because he’s afraid of storms or taking Kevin to his favorite restaurant when it’s the first day of school because he knows Kevin has a hard time making friends.

 Uncle Tetsuji doesn’t look like a parent; he looks a coach.

 But Riko.

 Riko looks like a promise.

 And then he opens his mouth once the social worker has left.

 “He’s your responsibility Riko. See that he does not get in the way and understands the rules.”

 “Yes, Master.” and Kevin thinks he will see uncle Tesuji’s retreating image most often than not living here. That may not be the worst thing.

 The dorms though are not suited for a child his mother would say. They are blacks and reds that intimidate. Kevin had liked black before coming here, he liked the soothing black of night and fantastical black of the beaches his mother visited.  

 The black here feels like a dream he can’t remember upon waking but haunts him through the day.

 Riko walks ahead without saying anything until they get to a room Kevin won’t ever be able to find again without help. Kevin puts his things where Riko indicates. The room is too much for two small boys let alone one, he doesn’t know how Riko could get to sleep.

 “The master is training me to be the best in Exy. You're here now and you're my responsibility so you're going to be the best too.”

 Kevin does want to be the best. The word responsibility though troubles him. He is the same age as Riko but they make him sound like a baby.

 “You're going to be my brother and I'm going to be your best friend.” Kevin thinks he could really use that, those words make it easier to relax his tense shoulders.

 Riko’s going to help him achieve his dreams and make mamma proud. It sounds tough but mamma didn’t raise him to be afraid of work so he gives Riko a small smile and says ok.

-------

***

And at first, there is so much new that he doesn’t have time to consider anything.

 It feels like he is a prince in this castle. His castle.

 Tetsuji orders him a personalized racquet.

 He and Riko go to the court to for training with Tetsuji and the other coaches and the Ravens.

 He and Riko stand before a man named Gerald who teaches them about the press before turning them to flashing cameras that gleam off his newly whitened teeth like it was fate.

 He and Riko eat together, meals prepared by the housekeeper who used to be Riko’s nanny.

 He and Riko draw on their faces the numbers ‘1’ and ‘2’ every morning like a prayer to the gods of Exy, to Mamma and Kevin is included in someone's life, interwoven in someone's future so he smiles thinking of it as a gift.

 He and Riko are together so much that he can’t feel lonely or miss Kaleigh but he wants to sometimes.

��Kevin tries not to cry because he doesn’t think it would do him any good but sometimes when he’s lying in bed thinking about his day he thinks, “I’m gonna tell momma about this.” and remembers he can’t.

 There is no momma to talk to now that will talk back to him.

 There is only Tetsuji who does not give praise or kindness. There is only Riko who looks like he is always starving for something no one will give him.

 Riko pretends not to hear him he thinks, but one night he gets mad at Kevin.

 “Stop crying like a baby.” He throws a pillow at Kevin. “You have no reason to cry.” Riko being mad at him makes him want to cry more.

 “I’m sorry.” Riko includes him in everything. He’s always by his side so Kevin thinks Riko’s upset because Kevin’s being ungrateful. He doesn’t know how to say he appreciates what Riko has done for him so far but his momma hasn’t been dead even a month and he still feels like he’s not a whole person.

 He needs a band-aid or a doctor to fix up his heart. It’s hard doing it on his own.

Riko tries to stick his finger in the cracked dam, plugging up the hole with his small finger but he doesn’t notice Kevin’s still bleeding.

 “Stop crying or I will give you something to cry about.” Now Riko sounds mean. He sounds like the master and it makes Kevin mad. He would go if he could but he doesn’t have anywhere to go. The book he throws hits Riko’s cheek.

 “Why are you so mean?! I wish momma had never sent me here!”

 “Neither of us had a choice,” Riko says instead of yelling, his voice is very low and quiet ending the conversation there.

 Riko is like a book the Master is writing and he stops and starts in the older man's presence. He barely has enough words outside of the court to be a real thing.

 Kevin stares at the thin window near the ceiling covered with black curtains feeling like a tornado's stuck in his throat.

-

***

He had thought maybe it was like Hercules and his trials. Difficult but at the end, he would emerge a hero.

 Kevin thought he knew what the difficult parts of living in the Nest were.

 “What happened to your face.” Tetsuji is like the Beast from Beauty and the Beast. He leans over pinching Riko’s chin between his thumb and forefinger to survey the damage of Kevin’s fit.

 The master only notices, Kevin thinks, because for once he did not put that bruise on Riko’s face himself. Kevin knows Tetsuji is a scary monster in people clothes but he hopes like all monsters he’s read about Tetsuji has a weakness or a hero meant to fight him.

 “Kevin threw a book at me. He was upset.” Apparently, Riko is still as well telling on Kevin like that. He doesn’t know what punishment here is like for misbehaving but he’s more than a little afraid.

 Tetsuji’s cane makes no sound striking Kevin's thigh or his back or his shoulder but Kevin does make sound.

 He apologizes because he realizes he is not Hercules. No.

 Kevin is somewhere between perpetually rolling a boulder up an unforgiving hill and having his liver eaten.

 Not a hero or a god. Just a child out of his depth.

 “You are property. A dog that bites his master is of no use and you, your only use to me is your ability to play. If you cannot understand your place there will be worse lessons to learn. Do you understand me.”

 “Yes, master.”

 It’s what Riko says and Riko knows this game so he repeats safe words.

 Riko cradles Kevin's head when the master leaves them in the locker room. Kevin can’t move, doesn’t want to think about moving.

 “You're my brother, my friend. You're mine. If you listen to me I will protect you from him but you have to be good Kevin. Please. We are destined for the stars and I want you by my side.”

 The titles he is given come with a steep price. Kevin doesn’t think he can pay them. Promises were already made though, to momma and himself.

 Riko gets a paper towel damp to wipe the tears and blood from the youthful curves of Kevin's face. He opens their lockers nudging the taller boy to get dressed.

 Kevin can’t think past the pain but he knows that he loves Exy and that just has to be enough.

 There is no time to think of anything else.

 This castle might be a cage but at least he has Riko.

 ----

***

Puberty is a faint glimmer behind him and he is a star.  

 Riko and Kevin travel to photo shoots in places like Tokyo, New York, and Chicago.

 Riko and Kevin appear on talk shows with grins to highlight the marks on their cheeks.

 Riko and Kevin train hard and study hard and play hard.

 Everything is hard but it’s worth the work.

 He’s thirteen and he is second best in all of the youth training camps the Nest hosts.

 The news calls him one of the best youth players in the nation, Riko is the best but Kevin doesn’t mind because as Tetsuji says they are miles above anyone else their age.

 Once he lets himself settle into the Kevin shaped hole the Ravens have made for him he excelled.

 Every time he is not given food it's just a chance to earn back his worth.

 When he is forced to run laps until he’s heaving it’s because he cannot be stronger unless he breaks the weakness in his body to heal back stronger.

 Tetsuji believes in the training and Riko believes in Tetsuji and they are his gods and executioners now, not momma.

 Tetsuji makes the stars now.

 Kevin is acclimated to the bruising from strict discipline. He says thank you for every strike, every reprimand.

 They gave him a purpose to live for. They are helping him be good so he can keep his promises.

 -

 ***

At fifteen with Testuji’s blessing, Riko has himself and Kevin inked for Kevin’s fifteenth birthday.

 Kevin had forgotten it was his birthday. Sometimes he forgets things about himself or who he was before Kayleigh Day’s car crash.

 Riko remembers for him.

 Riko does a lot for him. Kevin’s started having panic attacks this year, Riko is always there or sends Jean to be with him during these times.

 Riko punishes Kevin but only when he needs it and only to make him better.

 Riko’s giving him a gift tattooing him like this.

 “We will always be brothers now.” He kisses Kevin that night leaning over the small divide between their beds pushed together since they were ten years old.

 “You are the only one I need Kevin. The only one I trust by my side.” Riko’s lips are cold but Kevin does feel blessed in the same way as when he is allowed to treat Riko’s wounds from the Master.

With his eyes set on Riko in the horizon, he doesn't feel like a follower, he feels chosen.

 He knows the tattoo on his face is a collar but he kisses back like he is thankful because he has no choice but to be.

 Kevin doesn’t trust himself to know much or anything anymore.

 -

***

When you take away Exy from Kevin, what he has can be counted on one hand.

 A love of history from his mother, a love of classical music from his anxiety, alove of boys and girls from his numerous crushes on the older Ravens and a fearful love of Riko from a need to not only survive but shine.

 He knows he can love Exy but it will never love him back. Not the way he needs it.

 A nosy but quiet investigation into the youngest Ravens mental health says that Kevin has an anxiety disorder with dependency issues. The psychiatrist says Riko has borderline personality disorder. In his professional opinion, they both should be medicated and encouraged to foster hobbies outside of Exy. While Tetsuji does respectfully close the door on the man's face he does not prohibit Kevin or Riko from exploring other interests. He has beat into them that Exy comes first so he does not worry about infidelity.

 But Riko does at a constant rate.

 Kevin thinks this is why Riko has them both sleep with Lydia. He says it is because she will do what he says and they are old enough but Kevin wonders if it's because of the way he’s been looking at Riko and Jean instead.

 Like he wants to kiss Riko again, to hush all the mean words his mouth is capable of.

 Like he wants to lean into Jean to take comfort as well as security from someone needing equally as bad.

 It’s the only explanation he can think of when Riko has Jean assaulted.

 That Kevin was selfish and wanted too much so Riko has to remind him that Kevin only wants what Riko wants.

 It feels like a warning, using Jean's body like that. Riko says nothing but he looks at Kevin like, see what you’ve done? He’s crying for someone to save him because of you? His pain is on you.

 And Kevin does feel like the guilty party with all his lingering glances, gentle touches, and stolen kisses.

 He had forgotten himself. His place as both toy and pet.

 He had started to want freely. Riko has helped him again to find his place because now Jean will never want for Kevin. No, now Jean will be afraid of love and starving himself of it. Kevin cannot imagine he is temptation enough for another try, not with what he costs.

 They are brothers so he knows Jean is better saving for someone else.

 There is no room to be grateful or anything but far from his body at the moment. Jean’s screams pierce the veil drawing him back time and time again but Kevin is good at being detached. Imagining that he was not the one to tape Jean’s hands together or open the door for the seniors bent on destroying his dear friend.

 He can barely feel his fingers so he doesn’t feel to blame yet but he will. He knows Riko will leave Jean for him to clean up afterward.

 And Jean with his not all the way dead yet eyes will try to be ok. Like there won’t be a next time he is in the wrong place at the right time for Riko.

 The shadow in Riko has been building like a Tsunami. Waves cresting in chaos with height. For years Riko has grown harder. [K1] He has taken more discipline into his hands like he would rather cause pain than fall to it at his uncle’s cane.

 Riko has been transforming into a Raven while Kevin, still a bird but not a Raven has to learn to toughen his skin.

 He sees the breaking in Riko, the unhinging shuttering mess as the years go by. This proves that he’s been right to be afraid of Riko.

 Riko the boy king who no one will stop or stand against.

 Riko who loves Kevin with the ferocity of a favorite toy but just as easily may break him in the future when threatened.

 “It will be easier to be a star if you’re heterosexual Kevin.” Riko is not wrong, he never is. He stands over Jean who flinches in the bed no longer smothered by bigger bodies. The tallest boy’s  body shuddering like the magnitude of what has been done him with open chasms in the earth . Muscle dimpling with goosebumps in the cool room. There is blood in the corner of his mouth and Kevin thinks Jean may have bitten his cheek in the rape. He’s glad it’s a minor wound.

 “Do not touch what is mine,” he says in warning to Jean, Jean will not look at Riko so Kevin knows that he understands. It doesn’t matter that Kevin had kissed Jean first or that Riko had never said he couldn’t, arbitrarily changing the rules in a fit of childish anger.

 For the first time, really, Kevin understands exactly what the cost of fame for him will be.

 Ever hopeful he had thought that once they made court, once they went pro, Kevin would have his brother at his side. Opportunities falling at his feet. If he just endured a little longer. held his tongue a little more.

 Now he knows there is no guarantee for his future, only as long as he pleases Riko.

 To do that he cannot love anyone more than Riko, He cannot let anyone besides Riko work harder than him or ever think that he is something beyond Exy.

 The cost is steep.

 And he should be worried about Jean. He should soothe his hurt teammate. Bust he cant and he’s selfish in the fear he hold onto facing the looming prospect of living and dying by the Nest. Preserved perhaps even after death in this gilded cage, he was bought to be displayed in threatens the function of his lungs.  His knees go weak.

 “Kevin. Kevin.” Jean is holding out his hand in front of Kevin's eyes, tone begging Kevin to help him. Like a child who has been abandoned. Like he has been. Kevin vomits on the floor with Jean’s shaking fingers resting on his head.

 He can never leave because of Riko but he will never leave because of Jean.

 -

***

Once he is the best, that’s his downfall.

 You fly too close to the sun you burn. Kevin is a blistered thing.

 He had been caught between two swords.

 Do his best to beat Riko and Do well enough but not better than Riko.

 With Tetsuji’s watchful gaze there was no more holding himself back.

 The truth once again harming him the most in those hours after the ERC told Tetsuji they felt Riko was holding Kevin back.

   “You’ve taken everything from me! You say you love me but you try to take my position, my purpose-“ Rapid breathing shakes Kevins “You,” is emphasized with the heel of Riko’s shoes digging into his hand, “Are not better than me. A pet is not nor ever will be better than their vision master.” Kevin isn’t sure he’s heard a snap but the pain intensifies. It's hard to be coherent with the concussion he’s sure he has.

 “But now that they have put that idea in your head, in Uncle’s I must put you down.  Look what you’ve made me done brother.” He does look at his mangled hand while Riko brings his racquet down on it with a tone of finality.

 The finality of Exy career ending.

 The last thirteen years of his life expiring with the climactic grace of a nuclear bomb.

 He had been right to think he would live and die by Riko’s hand.

 “Don’t cry Kevin, You're going to become our assistant coach. You’re family, I will always make a place for you at my side.” Riko looks calmer than he has for years and Kevin realizes it's finally because his crown is secure. “I will send Jean for you.”

 Jean does come. He looks how Kevin assumes he would feel if his brain and emotions would come back online but all he can think of is surviving at the moment.

 His tired body is telling him to fly away from this nest of snakes.

 “You should go,” Jean says choking on the words in French as he bandages Kevin’s hand that is still bleeding onto the court. “You should leave and never come back.”

 “He’ll kill you.” Jean has been broken enough.

 “No, but he will kill you if he continues to see you as a threat. He will tear you to pieces because I know you, Kevin, and you are a star. It is in your nature to shine. He has already spent most of his life trying to snuff you out. Riko will never kill me though, he would be out of toys that have no consequences to harming them.”

 “I can’t.” The face Jean puts on is brave as he helps Kevin out of the gym, through the common area to the outside parking lot. Despite the consequences that will no doubt be severe he doesn’t hesitate in giving Kevin the keys to his car.

 “I will say you took them. The last I saw of you I left you outside your door, you must have taken my keys while I was helping you. "

 Riko has made convincing liars of them, he had learned from the best.

 “Don’t-Don’t let any of the others know.” That it was Riko who had maimed him, ”“If they ask tell them I do not want to speak with them.”

 Of the two , Jean’s survival instinct had always been better than Kevin’s.  “Go to your father, no one will deny you his room number. Keep your hood up.”

 Years before when they had stolen the note from Tetsuji’s office, Kevin would never have thought one day the information would become his solace.

 That he would have a parent to once more turn to in his time of need.

 The French backliner knows that only a Martyr such a David Wymack could save him now. Despite everything being ruined, that is enough to keep him moving.

 “Promise me you will call if things get worse, Jean. You cannot let him take any more from you, please."

 The older man agrees though they both know he won’t call Kevin. Kevin can’t even promise he won’t come crawling back to Riko as soon as he calls Kevin to come.

 Kevin Day knows abuse. He knows that he has been abused. That Riko and Tetsuji are abusive. He knows most of all that abuse victims hardly ever can break the cycle by themselves. Leaning on Jean for stability is foolish, he will back inside the month with the lack of resolve they both have. [K3] 

 But there is the hope that David Wymack is enough.

 There is the hope that Kevin will die someday far in the future with his pride intact knowing he went to seek better for himself.

 -

***

For so long he had been fighting. Standing outside of the Foxes coach’s door feels like the first good thing he’s done since his mother died. He doesn’t know what he will do or the future. The world now is pain and consequence.

 Everything else starts with a knock.

 “Hello?” Wymack opens the door, he has had enough injured foxes he knows before he see’s the blood something is wrong.

 “I need your help.” He needs Wymack’s protection. He needs his dad to tell him things will be alright.

 “Kevin D-” he knows who Kevin is.

 He wants to say, I'm your son. But settles for another truth “Riko. He broke my hand.” For once the truth does set him free.

[side-effect-of-the-meds]

Ok i now have to ask cause you mentioned MY FAVORITE DUDE... so uhhhhh fem!Ronan? Perhaps,,, even Fox fem! Ronan? With Erin? Sparring !!!

Three thousand years later we have an answer!!! Thanks so much for your patience. I’m p sure u mentioned u were the OCD/Jeanie anon earlier too and those took me forever as well :’) I hope you enjoy <3

Last bit of extra information 

Freshman backliners - Rose, Jack, and Sheena 

Freshman goalkeep - Robin (for the purposes of this AU, he’s a cis male)

Freshman dealer - Oliver (Ollie) 

Okay, now that I’ve caught you up on all the stuff preceding Rose’s actual arrival, I’ll pick up from there. 

Rose manages to keep her cool act up until she gets to the gates. That’s when she realizes that she doesn’t have the code to get in. 

“It’s 4952,” a voice says from behind her. Rose tenses immediately for a fight. Ania rounded her and punched the code in herself. “It’s Abby and Wymack’s ages,” she explained as the gate buzzed. Swinging the door open, she led the way in. Rose followed with clenched fists. If Ania noticed, she didn’t say anything about it. “The team was split on whether or not they were boning. I won two hundred bucks because I bet there were. I’d have made another seven hundred if I’d snitched about seeing them kissing in Wymack’s office but Wymack covered for Erin and I a lot last year.” 

Rose frowned. Her curiosity got the best of her. “Covered for you?” she asked. 

“Yeah, he caught me and my girlfriend making out in the middle of the court after hours.” Rose’s eyes grew wide. She followed after Ania dumbfounded. 

“Wait, did you say girlfriend?” With every word, Rose’s voice grew higher and higher. 

“Yes,” Ania replied flatly. “Is that a problem?” There was an iciness in her voice that reminded Rose too much of Nathan. 

“No,” she said. Ania turned her cold gaze forward again but Rose could still feel her skin crawling. Ania motioned at various doors as they made their way to the lounge but Rose didn’t hear a thing. As they entered, Rose found the lounge already occupied. Rose had never met Kevin Day in the flesh but she’d heard a lot about him on the news. Her father had been in Japan when Kayleigh invented Exy, but Niall refused to talk about her or her son at all. Any mention of Exy at all was banned in the Lynch household. Rose and her brothers had gone to great pains to play the bastard sport behind their father’s backs. In some ways, Rose was grateful for her father’s death. Knowing that she was made her sick to her stomach. 

She shoved the thought out of her head as she took stock of the remaining occupants. Nicky Hemmick was talking with a very tall, tan man: Matthew Boyd, Rose realized. From what she’d heard, Nicky was fairly harmless but Boyd’s mother was a boxer. Rose had met him once before. He had come down to Henrietta alongside his mother to attend Niall’s funeral. Apparently, Boyd had been Niall’s sparring partner she married and moved to New York. He’d been kind to Rose then but anyone who ran with Palmetto State’s ‘Monsters’ was someone to be wary of. 

Seated on the couch were the infamous Minyard Twins. The two of them had stuffed their hair beneath black beanies and wore loose black t-shirts that made the bodies beneath them indiscernible. From prior knowledge, Rose knew at least one of them was a girl but, looking at them now, it was anyone’s guess as to which was which. They sat on opposite ends of the couch with one ankle crossed over their knee, an exy racquet laying across their laps. In anyone else, their mirrored motions would have been tacky but the twins radiated a dangerous energy. 

Everyone knew that Erin’s rap sheet was a mile and a half long, including several counts of arson, assault, and implications of attempted murder. Just last year, Aaron had killed a man with an exy racquet. Suddenly the racquet resting between the two of them seemed far more sinister. Rose mustered up the strength to smile savagely at the two of them. The one on the left scowled. The one on the right returned Rose’s smile an equally twisted of their own. Gotcha, Rose thought. Only Erin Minyard would smile like that. 

“Lynch,” a voice snapped. Rose turned her gaze to find Wymack leaning against the doorframe of his office. “If you’re done gawking, Abby needs to do your physical.” A petite woman with gray-streaked hair poked her head out of his office. 

“Oh, Rose! I didn’t even know you’d arrived.” The woman, Abby, stepped out of the office and started towards Rose. “Did you drive out here? How was it?” she asked. Ania was standing beside Day now. Abby paused by her and smoothed down her hair. “Ania didn’t cause you any trouble, did she?”

“I’m so glad to see that you trust me, Mom,” Ania said. Abby laughed and tugged at a strand of Ania’s hair. 

“Just checking,” she teased. “Come on, Rose,” she called as she brushed past her to open up the door Rose had stopped beside. Abby kept up a constant stream of chatter while she sorted through her equipment. She instructed Rose to sit up on the table and take her shirt off. Normally, Rose would have insisted on making things as difficult as she could but she knew she had to reserve her strength for whatever the Monsters had in store for her. Shucking her shirt off, she did as she was told. Abby’s physical took little over ten minutes. It only passed ten because she’d spent a good portion of it admiring the tattoo on Rose’s back.  

When Abby did release Rose, she did so with a warning. “The twins won’t be as bad this year as they used to be. Not with Ania around, at least. I suggest you ingratiate yourself to her. She’s your best chance at surviving. If not, Matt will do.” With that, she smiled at Rose before ushering her out of the office. “Who’s next?” she asked the assembled kids. Erin got up and headed for the door. She bumped Rose’s shoulder, hard, as she passed. 

“Oops,” she said, another smile twisting her face. 

“Minyard,” Wymack barked. He shot her a warning glance. She simply shrugged before entering the office. “Here’s your keys, Lynch.” Wymack chucked a pair of keys at Rose’s head. She caught them without looking. “I know I’m going to regret this, but you’re rooming with Minyard and Josten. I’d rather you in there than Patel.” Oh, sweet Jesus, they’re actually trying to kill me. 

“Do you want us to come help you move in?” Ania asked. 

“I’m good,” Rose said a little too quickly. A look passed between the monsters. Finally, they turned to look at Wymack. He just shrugged and turned back to his office. He grumbled something about getting their physicals done before they left as he retreated into his office. 

“Might as well move Erin’s things into the dorm,” Ania said. “I’ll drive.” Aaron got off the couch and crossed the room to stand by her side. Rose clenched her jaw. Just the thought of being in a room with Nathan Wesninski’s daughter was enough to set her hands shaking. To share a bedroom, to sleep in the bed beside her, was unthinkable. If Rose backed down now, they’d call her out in her cowardice. She couldn’t have that. Like her father, Rose relied too heavily on bravado and a facade to maintain her standing amongst people. She needed the Monsters to fear her or they’d eat her alive. 

“Whatever,” she said. Turning on her heel, she closed her eyes. Taking a deep breath, she went back the way she’d come. Behind her, she could hear Ania and Aaron talking to each other in another language that she recognized as German. She kicked herself mentally for not taking up Declan’s offer to teach her some a few years prior. She made a note to start learning. If Aaron spoke German, there was a good chance his sister did too. Sharing a room with Ania and Erin constantly chattering away in German would wreck Rose. Were they discussing Exy plays? Were they plotting Rose’s demise? She’d never know if she didn’t learn.  

“Nice car,” Aaron said as he dragged a hand over the hood of the BMW. Rose was about to thank him when he spoke again. “But mine’s nicer,” he said. Digging a key out of his pocket, he pointed it at the car Ania had been sitting on. Upon closer inspection, Rose realized that it was a Maserati. All of Rose’s pretenses melted away.

“Bad. Ass,” she whispered. She ran her own hand over the sleek black car. A part of Rose’s brain screamed at her stop getting along with him. A bigger part of her was chanting ‘CarCarCarCarCar’. She stepped back as Ania unlocked the door and got in. Rose’s knees nearly gave out beneath her at the sound of the engine purring to life. Jealousy was an emotion Rose was incredibly familiar with. Still, she’d never ached so badly for anything in her life. God, that car was amazing. Rose wondered if she’d ever get to see the inside of it or, God forbid, get behind the wheel. She nearly fainted at the prospect alone.

“Know you’re way to the dorms?” Ania asked. 

“No,” Rose admitted. Ania nodded and told her to follow them. She waited as Rose got into her own car. As soon as she did, Ania started out of the parking lot. Normally, Rose would have tailgated her just to get on her nerves but the thought of wrecking that beautiful car was too much for Rose to bear. Keeping a safe distance, Rose followed them to Fox Tower. The gears in her brain spun as she tried to piece together some kind of plan. What the hell was she going to do? What were the Monsters planning? Would she even survive this? 

Suddenly, Rose’s chest ached, remembering that Addy wasn’t here to have her back. If Parrish was here, she’d run her hand over Rose’s close-cropped hair, lean over the console, and press a kiss to the hollow of Rose’s cheek. She’d tell Rose to stop thinking so hard before she hurt herself. She’d tell Rose to leave the planning to her. But Addy wasn’t here and Rose was alone. Hauling herself out of her car, Rose grabbed her stuff out of the passenger seat. Aaron eyed Rose’s duffle bag and backpack as she approached the curb. Both he and Ania carried a crate piled high with things. Aaron had a backpack slung over his shoulder as well. 

“That’s more than I had,” Ania offered. 

“That’s because she isn’t a runaway,” Aaron replied. Ania laughed before saying something in German. Aaron’s ears were exposed despite the cap pulled down over his hair. They burned brightly at whatever it was Ania had said. He mumbled something that sounded suspiciously like 218% but Rose didn’t understand what that was about. She followed the pair up three flights of stairs to the room. Ania set the crate down and Rose was acutely aware of Aaron staring at Ania’s ass. Disgusting, she thought to herself. 

It seemed that Ania noticed too. She said something to him in German once more. His scowl reappeared and his ears burned brighter. Hadn’t Ania said she had a girlfriend? Was she really hitting on Aaron while Rose was standing right there?  Rose said a silent prayer for whoever was dating this traitorous piece of shit. 

Picking the crate back up, Ania shoved the door open with her hip. Rose watched as the two of them stepped into the room. Rose hesitated at the threshold for only a fraction of a second. Grow a pair, she told herself and stepped into the room. 

Rose entered into what looked like a common room. It was already furnished with three desks lined up side by side against the window. A flatscreen t.v. was mounted to a wall. A plush couch sat facing it, a coffee table before it. Two beanbags lay on their sides in front of it. A PlayStation was already hooked up to the t.v., the home screen on. 

“You’ll play us some time, yeah?” Ania asked. Rose gave her a noncommittal grunt. Ania laughed. She continued to the bedroom, opening the door with one hand. She dropped the crates onto the lower bunk. “Eri and I’ll take the bunks. You’ve got the loft.” Rose tossed her stuff up while Aaron dumped his own crate onto the bunk. They left Rose to unpack. 

It didn’t take long. She stuffed her clothes into the dresser and plugged her dead laptop in to charge. She lined the few books she’d brought with her up on the window ledge. At the end of the stack, she placed the bookend Gansey had carved for her in shop class. God, she missed Gansey. He’d said he’d call her today, 10 p.m sharp, her time. She set an alarm on her phone so that she wouldn’t miss it. Turning back to the duffle, her gaze snagged on the photo frame. Don’t, she told herself. She picked it up anyway. Her heart sank as she turned it over the reveal the photo it held. It was a photo of Rose marching through the town, dragging Matt behind her in his little wagon. An exasperated Declan ran behind them, his arms loaded with the toys Matt kept throwing out of the wagon. Rose shoved the picture frame back into the bag. She picked up the c.d. player that played whatever song her heart desired in a beautifully soft, rasping voice. 

Rose heard Ania curse from the living room. Winding up her headphones, she stuck the cd player into her pocket. She headed into the other room to find Ania and Aaron waiting for her. Ania’s hair was messy and unbound, Aaron’s clothes rumpled. Both of their lips were swollen. Rose shoved through them. God save Josten’s girlfriend. She doesn’t deserve this. She hurried down the stairs to her car. She drove back to the court, Ania at her tail this time. 

Time goes on and the twins keep their act up really well. No one but Kevin, Katelyn, and Ania know who’s who. It’s hella weird, especially for Nicky, because this is what he’d assumed the twins would be like when he first met them but they’d been too broken to pull off such a flawless ruse. However, now that they’ve got their sessions with Bee, they’re on the road to recovery and they do some stereotypical twin stuff (ex. Dressing the same and tricking people into believing that they’re the other twin. They do still dress as themselves for class. It’s just something they do when the Kits are around. Some days Erin wears a binder to flatten her chest and pass as her brother. Some days Aaron wears a stuffed bra. It makes him feel stupid but binders can be dangerous and he doesn’t want his sister getting hurt.)  

Despite rooming with Erin, Rose still doesn’t really know what’s up. Sometimes, Rose will catch Ania canoodling with who she thinks is Aaron. Other times, she comes back from class to find Erin’s hair wild and messy and Ania’s face flushed with exertion. She doesn’t know the specifics of Ania’s relationship so she tries to stay out of it but she’s anger on behalf of Ania’s girlfriend. How could Ania, or anyone, cheat on their partner? Not only is Ania cheating, she’s cheating with the goddamn twins. 

A lot of times, Rose and Ania are paired off against one another so there’s a lot of aggression on the court. Wymack doesn’t like it but he knows that the Foxes need to figure themselves out. All the other Kits have fallen in line, with minor weekly outbursts from Jack and Sheena. Rose and Ania have come close to blows but nothing’s ever happened… yet

It’s the week before school starts when Rose is coming back from the corner store that she sees it. Nearing her bedroom, she can hear soft moans from behind the door. With a frown, she unlocks the door to find Ania and Erin making out on the couch. 

That’s it. That’s the final straw. She always knew something was up between Erin and Ania but now she’s seen it with her own two eyes. She marches out of the room and doesn’t return. The next time she sees either of them is at practice that night. On the court, Rose is going hard. Wymack calls time after Rose slams Ania into the glass so hard that there’s now a crack in it. Do you know how strong those walls are? Do you understand how hard Rose had to have hit her for that? 

Ania is on the ground wheezing. Black spots darken her vision. She’s almost sure she’s going to pass out. Rose barely manages to duck as Erin takes a swipe at her head with her racquet. They aren’t even on Erin’s side of the court. It took her .5 seconds to make it to the other end of the court when Ania went down. All of the upperclassmen are there pulling her back. She’s bared her teeth and fighting savagely, screaming and swearing. Rose has never seen Erin so worked up. Everyone was so focused on Erin that no one was Kevin coming. One second Rose was on her feet, the next she was two feet off it with her back slammed up against the plexiglass. It was at that moment, Rose knew, she’d fucked up. Practice is called to an end entirely as Wymack pried Kevin off of Rose. Ania is taken to Abby and both Erin and Kevin are dragged away by Wymack. Before leaving, Wymack hisses at Rose telling her that she’d better be in his office by the time he gets back. 

So Rose retreats to the office to wait for the girls to clear out of the locker room. Is she still mad at Ania? Absolutely. Did she handle the situation correctly? Absolutely not. Ania’s love life wasn’t her business but Rose had meddled anyway. If Wymack and the monsters didn’t kill her, Addy definitely would. Adeline told her not to mess with anyone, especially not the twins. 

After a few hours, Rose could no longer bear to wait for Wymack. Abandoning the office, she returned to the court. Stepping onto it without her gear, she beelined for the cracked glass. With light fingers, Rose traced the cracks. In her head, the cracking noise of the glass replayed itself growing louder and louder each time. It sounded eerily like the sound of a man’s skull being cracked open with a crowbar. Rose shut her eyes to ward off the sound only to get sucked back into the memory. Suddenly Rose was fourteen again, laying beneath the undercarriage of her father’s car as Nathan Wesninski stalked forward. A rusted crowbar was held loosely in one of his hands, dragging behind him as he walked. Her father had just barely opened his mouth when the crowbar came up, swinging right at his head. The deafening crunch of her father’s skull cracking open filled her ears. Rose clasped her hands over her mouth to stifle the screams that rose from within her. She watched in horror as Nathan beat the corpse to a bloody pulp, cursing her father’s name all the way. 

“You said we were friends!” Nathan screamed at the mutilated corpse, swinging in the crowbar again. “You told me you’d be there for me.” Bones snapped beneath the crowbar. Nathan sunk to his knees and Rose saw the tears streaming down his face. “You told me you loved me!” he sobbed as he pounded on her father’s chest. Sobs wracked Nathan’s frame as she clutched the corpse to his own chest. “You told me you’d always love me,” he whispered over and over to himself. The sun had nearly set by the time, Nathan finally collected himself enough to look up from Niall’s dead body. As he did, his gaze snagged on Rose. It didn’t matter how well Rose could fight. All of her training flew out the window as she saw the icy blue eyes set deep into the tear-stained face now watching her. Nathan got up and walked toward the car. Every one of Rose’s instincts told her to run but she, no matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t move. She commanded her body to move. It refused to acknowledge her at all. 

Rose’s thoughts snapped back to the imminent danger in front of her as she heard the crunch of gravel. Nathan knelt down before her, bending down to see beneath the car. A trembling hand reached out and caressed her cheek, smearing her father’s blood across her face. “You look just like your father,” was all Nathan said.

It was all Ania said from behind Rose. Whirling around, Rose realized that the monsters had surrounded her.  Ania stood at the center of the semicircular formation they’d assumed. Kevin and Erin stood framing her. It was definitely Erin. Her chin-length hair had been bound in a messy bun atop her head and she was wearing only a bra beneath her open jacket. 

“Listen up, Lynch, because I’m not going to repeat myself,” she said, taking a step forward. Rose instinctively took a step back. From the corner of her eye, she saw Aaron’s lips curl into a cruel smile. Shit. She’d been wrong from the start. “I don’t take kindly to people who touch things that are mine. I’d tell you to ask the last person who did, but Riko’s dead.” Rose saw the way Ania and Kevin flinched at the name. “I’ve got half a mind to take you back to the dorms and carve the flesh from beneath your skin.”

“Erin,” Ania said. A note of warning colored her words. 

“But, as you can see, Ania isn’t too keen on the idea. I don’t know what you’re damage is and I honestly don’t care but I can’t say no my little junkie. So, how about this?” Erin asked. She took another step forward and slipped a punch past Rose’s defenses. Rose was on her knees before she knew it. Erin’s thick-soled boot shoved Rose down and onto her back. It’s weight rested on Rose’s neck, cutting off her breath. Scrabbling beneath her, Rose tried desperately to get Erin off of her. “Come to Columbia. Spend one night out with us and I’ll let bygones be bygones.” A corner of Erin’s lip twitched upwards. “That is if you survive.” Rose’s heart was racing. 

“Fine,”she choked. 

“Wondrous,” Erin replied. It was anything but wondrous.  The second Erin lifted her boot from Rose’s throat, Rose was on her feet, fists swinging. Erin caught the first punch easily and twisted Rose’s arms. A war cry tore from Rose. She swung her other fist only to stop short from connecting at the press of a blade against her throat. “Oh, this won’t do. This won’t do at all,” Erin said softly. “I let you live because Ania asked me too. If you ever try to hurt me or my family again, I will not be so forgiving.” A sharp pain ripped through Rose’s as the blade sliced across the length of her body. Nothing vital had been hit but Rose could feel the blood pouring from the wound.

“Erin!” Ania cried.

“She had to be taught a lesson,” Erin snarled. With that, she stalked off the court. All of them stood paralyzed for a moment. Ania was the first to snap out of her stupor. She ordered Aaron after his sister and demanded that Nicky leave. Kevin was to bring her the first aid kit and then wait with Nicky in the car. Stepping forward, Rose watched as the ice in Ania’s eyes thawed. For the first time, Rose looked Ania in the eye and didn’t see Nathan. Instead, she saw the little girl that Rose had chased through fields of wheat. Rose saw the girl whose laughter in which she’d basked like a cat beneath the sun. For the first time, Rose looked Ania in the eye and saw her best friend. 

“Rose,” Ania called. It was obvious that she’d said it more than once. “Let me see the cut.” Ania’s tone left no room for argument. She sat heavily down on the court floor, back to the wall once more as Ania inspected the cut. After Kevin delivered the kit, Ania carefully cleaned the wound and sewed it shut. Running delicate fingers over her handiwork, Ania didn’t seem all there. “Rose,” she said softly. “No more fighting. Not in front of them. If you have a problem with me, that’s fine. We settle this on our own but if you ever raise another hand at Erin again, her blades will be the least of your problems.” Suddenly, all the pieces clicked into place. 

“Erin’s your girlfriend,” she whispered. Ania just nodded. Surveying her work one last time, Ania got to her feet. 

“Come on. It’s late and you’re going to need your sleep. I nearly dozed off my first time on the way to Columbia and Erin punched me so hard the bruise didn’t fade for almost a month.” Ania was headed for the door before Rose could ask her anything.

The next night the monsters head out to Columbia. It goes down as you would expect it to. Instead of taking Kevin and Nicky though, Matt tags along. He rides upfront because his legs are too long for the backseat. Rose is smushed in between Aaron and Ania but it isn’t all bad. Ania holds Rose’s hand the entire way. 

Rather than drugging her outright, Erin simply exploits Rose’s overly competitive nature and drinking problem. Slipping half of her shots over to Aaron, Erin stays sober while Rose drinks herself into a stupor. 

That doesn’t work. The drunker Rose gets, the more violent she gets. There’s a physical altercation with one of the other Eden’s patrons and Rose gets her lights knocked out.  They take her home. Rose wakes late the next morning with a splitting headache. Dead roses are suspended from the ceiling of the room she’s in. Crawling out of bed, she heads for the bathroom. On her way there, she pauses by the vanity. The entire vanity mirror is plastered with photos. Upon closer inspection, Rose realizes that they’re pictures of the monsters. There are hundreds of photos covering the mirror, an ungodly amount of which are photos of Ania. Rose feels her cheeks flush at the sight of a rather scandalous one featuring Ania, face flushed and wearing just a few scraps of lace that really didn’t cover anything as she layin the bed Rose was just in with her arms pinned above her head by hands attached to pale, scarred arms. Little black hearts had been drawn around Ania’s form. Dragging her eyes away from the photo, Rose’s gaze snagged on a picture frame that stood on the vanity. Rose felt the breath catch in her lungs at the sight of it. It was an old photo, one that Rose couldn’t remember taking but on a day she remembered well. 

In the photo, two girls are sitting on a blanket in a meadow, holding hands and smiling brightly into the camera. Both of them are dressed in their Sunday best with a pair of matching white shoes. It was a photo of Rose and Ania at the church’s annual Easter picnic in Henrietta. Rose wondered how Erin had gotten her hands on the picture. Ania, she realized. She grabbed the picture frame and wrestled the back off before slipping the photo out of the frame. Folding it neatly, she pocketed the photo. As she turns, she finds herself facing Ania and Erin. Shit. 

“First you hurl my girlfriend into the glass and you tried to punch me. I invite you out to Columbia and you get your lights knocked out so I offer you a place, not just in my home, but my own bed. And here you are, repaying my kindness by stealing from me?” Erin shook her head in mock disappointment. “Maybe it’s time to add another dead rose to my ceiling,” she mused. Her voice was devoid of all emotion but her anger showed in the blade that was once again threatening to slice open Rose’s skin. 

“Do you know what it means?” Rose asked, leaning her head back to stare up the flower corpses. She didn’t wait for Erin to answer. “Romans hung roses from the ceiling to signal that anything said while beneath the influence of spirits would remain confidential. Seeing as I’m still a little drunk, I’ll tell you everything but only if you agree to honor that.” A tense silence settled over the room. Rose waited as the two of them shared a long look. Finally, Erin turned her gaze back to Rose. 

“Fine,” she agreed. A scowl curled her lips as she crossed her arms. Rose shifted her gaze to Ania. Icy blue eyes set deep into a puffy sleep-deprived face stared back. 

Taking a deep breath, Rose said the words out loud for the first time in four years. “Nathan Wesninski killed my father.”

She goes on, explaining the banishment of her and her brothers from their home, the Headmaster’s offer to Addy and the tapes they’d found in his home. She recounted what she knew of kidnapping and rape of Juliet, and the torture Declan faced in Evermore with great difficulty, knowing that both of them had done it to protect her. As she told her story, she watched the myriad of emotions playing across Ania’s face. Tears marched steadily down her face as she realized just how much damage her father had done in his quest to get her back. Unable to bear her emotions, she leaves the room at the end of Rose’s story. Rose doesn’t see her again until they’re in the car on the way home from Columbia. Ania doesn’t say a word but, again, she holds Rose’s hand the whole way. 

After Columbia, the aggression between Rose and Ania ends. They’re still not friends though, partially because Erin doesn’t let Rose too close to Ania and partially because Rose still feels bad for interfering. It hurts Ania’s feelings just a little because she thinks Rose is punishing her for what her father did. That’s no longer the case. Just as Ania has put aside her hatred of Riko to care for Cleo, Rose now sees past her own blind rage at the girl she once called her friend. Both of them really just want their friend back. 

The reason Erin keeps interfering is because she still doesn’t believe she’s good enough for Ania. For a significant portion of last year, she was convinced Ania and Kevin would get together. In her head, she’s just a phase. Erin knows now that Kevin and Ania see each other as siblings which finally. With that knowledge, she was finally starting to let herself believe that she and Ania could be more than just a hookup. Erin’s known for a while that Ania and Rose had been childhood friends. It scared her to see the way Ania’s eyes glaze over and the faint smile that tinged her lips when she talked about Rose. 

What if Ania leaves her for Rose? Look, Rose is hot as hell, alright. I mean, she’s swole. She’s so strong that she can, and has, bench-pressed Nicky. That buzzcut? Every time Erin sees it, she swoons just a little. And Erin? She’s short and fat. Rose’s skin is as perfect, unmarred by the scars and stretch marks running across Erin’s entire body. The tattoo on her back is a testament to the beautiful mind that lurked behind that beautiful face. Even Erin found herself outmatched by Rose’s wit. Nothing Erin did or said ever managed to make Ania laugh the way Rose did. 

Rose Lynch wasn’t going to steal the love of Erin’s life. No, Ania was going to leave Erin for a woman who’d already proven that she could love her better than Erin could. Erin’s chest aches every time she sees Ania. Every night on the roof, she kisses Ania until her lips go numb. On Saturday mornings in Colombia, she wakes early to engrave every detail of Ania’s body into her mind in preparation for the day Ania leaves her. 

One night on the roof, Ania moans her name and Erin comes up from between her legs to watch her. Ania’s eyes are closed, her face flushed. Her hair’s a mess and Erin can see the cloudy puffs of her breath in the cold night. Ania’s lips are quaking as badly as her legs as she smiles at Erin. Fuck. If Rose wants Ania, she’s going to have to pry her from her cold dead hands. 

Of course, none of this is actually a problem.

Matt doesn’t look anything like Matthew but their personalities are incredibly similar so Rose is drawn to him. Rose suffers from ADD and because Matt is accustomed to dealing with Erin’s ADHD, he’s really good with Rose. He gets special permission from Wymack and the tutors to become Rose’s personal tutor because there literally isn’t anyone that’s capable of handling her other than him. He would be Erin’s tutor too but she’s making straight A’s without even trying. 

Allison and Rose aren’t fond of each other but they’ve got each other’s back when it’s important. Some guy tried to take an up-skirt photo of Allison while she wasn’t paying attention and Rose punched so hard she nearly stopped his heart.

Renee is super sweet and it makes Rose’s heart ache because she reminds her a lot of her mother. Renee wants to take Rose under her wing but Rose always feels like she’s betraying her real mother by letting Renee take care of her. Rose really loves Renee though. 

Dan and Rose butt heads a lot because Rose has authority issues. Ania usually has to intervene before they start throwing hands. They’re also always competing in drinking games. Technically, Rose always wins but it doesn’t feel that way when she wakes up the next morning with barely enough time to stick her head in a trash can to retch her guts out. 

Jack and Sheena are dating. Their relationship is very similar to the one Allison and Seth had. Rose appreciates their snark unless they’re giving Ania a hard time. Rose is always squaring up with someone but she’s gotten into the most physical altercations with the two of them, usually for messing with Ania.

Robin is baby. He’s already been adopted by Erin and Renee as the third member of the disaster gay goalkeeps. He has a crush on Ollie. Ollie is straight tho :’) Erin helps heal his heartbreak with several tubs of ice-cream and a large selection of romcoms. Renee invites Rose to come help so she attends their little party, much to Erin’s dismay. Erin gives Ania extra cuddles during the movies because she’s still trying to prove to Ania that she’s better than Rose. Her one-sided rivalry is hilarious. Ania is also entirely clueless. She’s just enjoying all the smooches. 

Tangent but I want to talk about them being soft. Skip to the next bullet if you don’t want to hear me gush about the girls. Thank you for not skipping. Rose spends a lot of her time with Matt, Renne, or Robin during the weekends. That means that Erin and Ania have the dorms to themselves. They wake up late on Saturdays because Erin refuses to let Ania out of bed until lunch. Instead, they lay facing each other beneath the covers of Erin’s bed. Sometimes they trade secrets. Not like the ones they shared on the roof. These are sweet secrets. Ania will tell Erin things like her favorite flower and her favorite songs. Erin will admit that she likes it when Ania calls her pet names and letting Ania wash her hair for her. There’s a lot of muffled giggling from beneath the sheets as Erin peppers Ania’s face with kisses. Sometimes they just lay there, staring at each other, happy and in love. SOMETIMES ERIN WILL LET ANIA BE THE BIG SPOON! It’s so great. It takes some getting used to for her but eventually she relaxes enough to enjoy it. Her ears are always bright red when they cuddle like this because Ania will whisper all the things she loves about Erin to her. When they finally do get out of bed, it’s already noon and Erin goes to make lunch for them. She always carries Ania out of the room and sets her on the counter to watch. Ania isn’t allowed to help because she always leaves a big mess. Instead, she sits beside the stove and taste tests all of Erin’s creations. A lot of Erin’s cooking ends up being a little burnt because Ania is being a distraction. 

Kevin sees a lot of potential in Rose. He’s going to make her court but sometimes he pushes too hard. Again Ania has to intervene. Off the court, they’re drinking buddies. Oddly enough, Rose is a bit of a history buff. The two of them have a Drunk History youtube channel that they film for every other Saturday night. 

Rose isn’t super religious but she used to go to church every Sunday for Matt. Despite not living with him anymore, she can’t seem to drop the habit. It takes a while to pin down a church to go to so she just goes to anything she can find. None of them are any good. It’s almost November when she steps into a new one. Mass has already started and all the pews are full. Collapsing into a pew, she hears a familiar voice hiss her name. She turns to see Nicky sitting beside her. Shook. There aren’t any other pews so she stays where she is. At the end of Mass, she rockets out of her seat and heads for her car. Pulling out of the crowded lot, she sees that Nicky is walking home. Rose should just drive home. There’s no point in getting involved with the monsters. With a groan, she pulls lays on the horn and watches as he jolts. Pulling over, she rolls down her window. Nicky hurries over to talk to her. She offers him a ride home. On the way back she asks why he doesn’t just borrow Erin’s car. That’s when she learns that Ania bought the car for Erin. 

“Eri’s incredibly selfish. She won’t share anything Ania gives her. Last week, Ania gave her a neon wristband. Erin hates those but I wear them all the time so I asked her if I could have it. She nearly bit my head off!” He cried. Shaking his head, he smiled. “It’s kinda cute, though. Ania’s given Erin a lot of things she doesn’t like but she’s never said a word. There’s a little box in the space under her bed. It’s full of all the things Ania gave her.” When Rose gets home, she checks under the bed. Sure enough, there’s a box under there. Picking the lock is easy. There’s a lot of things in the box: scrunchies, napkins with covered in fox paws, exy keychains, tubes of lipstick, and a t-shirt to name a few. Rose recognizes the last item as the piece Ania had been complaining about losing. A smile curled her lips as she remembered Erin denying any knowledge of where the shirt was. She thinks Erin and Ania are adorable. Ironically enough, she’s actually the biggest supporter of their relationship. 

Aaron and Rose are often on the same team for scrimmages. Because of Erin’s obvious dislike of Rose, Aaron automatically hates her but they’re amazing on the court together. They don’t interact much off the court until he starts having a few relationship problems with Katelyn. Rose makes an off-handed comment on what he could do to fix it. At first, he brushes it off. Things get p bad and he ends up taking her advice. It works spectacularly. They end up consulting each other a bit about relationship problems/complaining/gushing over their respective partners.  

Speaking of partners, Ania knows about Addy. Every night after practice, Rose has the dorm to herself so she skypes Addy. It goes against her no phone rule but her nightly conversations with Addy are the only thing keeping her sane. She doesn’t say much, content to listen to Addy complain about school. Despite being almost a hundred miles away, Addy always knows exactly what Rose is thinking. Before signing off each night, Addy makes sure she tells Rose she loves her. She always laughs as Rose goes red in the face and mumbles it back. One night, Erin was having a bad day so she’d decided to crash at Wymack’s and Rose was out doing something or the other. So Ania is alone in the dorms by herself late one night. She hears the little Skype line ringing on Rose’s computer and picks up. She greets Addy and informs her that she’s Rose’s roommate. Addy takes the opportunity to ask if Rose is doing as well as she claims to be. Assuring Addy that Rose is doing fine, Ania asks who Addy is and that’s how she learns about their relationship. The girls spend a few hours talking about Rose before finally signing off. They exchange phone numbers and Ania keeps tabs on Rose for Addy. It gives her peace of mind to know that there’s someone taking care of her Rosie. 

They also bond over being ‘moms’. While Ania is out here in Palmetto babysitting Cleo, Addy is out doing the same for Opal. At this point, Opal is about nine. She is placed in a special ed class because she has a physical disability (her hooves make it hard to walk) and appears to have an ‘emotional disturbance’ (That's the actual category it’s called. While I do work with special ed students, I’m not very well-versed in the specifics so I’m sorry if the way I said it is incorrect/offensive. Please leave a message if it’s a problem and help me correct it). It’s really hard on Addy to be raising a kid but Declan had the credentials to transfer schools. He’s there with Matt and his new girlfriend to help her out. The only financial help that Addy accepts from Rose is the money she needs to raise Opal. 

Everyone else doesn’t learn about Addy until they’ve got a game against Yale. All of them head-up there, super excited for the game. Yale’s exy team is always just short of making it to finals each year but they’ve been doing well this year. Rose is a bit nervous because, for the first time, she and Declan are going to be playing against each other. She’s all nerves when she steps off the bus. The Yale coach is there to greet them. Behind her is a familiar form. Rose runs and leaps at her brother and Declan catches her easily. It’s been so long since they’ve seen each other and, as much as they’d hate to admit it, they really missed each other. 

Trash talking ensues but they’ve got wide smiles on their faces all the while. The game is one for the history books. Erin is the best goalkeep in the south and Declan the best in the Northeast. Their striker line is all freshman but they’re feisty. The games ends up running a half an hour overtime where the striker lines take shots on the opposing goals. Declan misses Ania’s shot by just a hair and the Foxes win. Ania collapses on the court and the Foxes rush out to her. They carry her off the court on their shoulders, cheering wildly. As they’re doing so, Ania spots Addy and calls out to her. She’s standing by the entrance to Yale’s home team's locker room with Opal to wait for Declan. Rose hears Addy’s name and her heart stops. Suddenly she’s running. She sweeps Addy off her feet and spins her around, crashing into the wall behind them. Rose Lynch does not cry from the sheer amount of joy she feels having her queen back in her arms. No, siree. No tears here. 

Addy kisses Rose in front of everyone and Opal gags because her moms are being gross. Ania manages to get down and goes over to shake Addy’s hand. Thanking her profusely, Addy pulls Ania in for a hug. She’s excited to meet Erin because Ania talks about her all the time. 

Just like that, any animosity Erin has for Rose dissipates. She sees the love in Rose’s eyes and knows that her own standing with Ania isn’t at stake. It never was. Sure, Rose is all that Ania deserves but Rose would never love her as much as she loved this girl. 

It’s mid-December at this point and Christmas break plans need to be made. Nicky is headed to Germany to visit Erik. Aaron is going with Katelyn to meet her parents and stay at their cabin in Switzerland. Rose is headed back to Henrietta to spend Christmas with Addy and Oapl. She decides to invite Ania and Erin over. Ania agrees readily. She absolutely adored Henrietta as a kid and she’d love to get to visit again. Erin goes because the last Christmas Ania spent away from her didn’t go well. 

Speaking of last Christmas, at exactly 12 a.m. last year, Riko Moriyama gave herself a present. Ania had woken to find her face buried in the pillow, a piercing pain growing at her back. At 12 a.m. last Christmas, Riko carved her name into Ania’s back so that everyone knew exactly who she belonged to. At 12 a.m. Ania woke to Rose pouring a bucket of ice water over her head. Chucking a towel at her, Rose told her to hurry and get up. Ania ran after her, shivering. She got into the passenger seat beside Rose, questions whirling through her brain. They pulled up at a tattoo parlor at the heart of town. They entered to find a man sitting in a stool, waiting for them. Rose pulled out a sheet of paper and asked Ania to list a few things she wanted in the tattoo. Ania is standing there like tattoo???? Who said anything about a tattoo?????? Rose looks at Ania like she’s the crazy one. She tells her they’re getting a tattoo to cover the scars on her back. 

“There’s nothing wrong with having scars. They’re symbols of all the battles that you’ve won but that? That wasn’t a battle. That was someone marking you. It’s time you took back what’s yours,” Rose said. Ania nodded sharply. She listed off a few things and Rose pieced together a beautiful design.   

The finished design? A wreath of thorns that covered much of the damage. Gardenias blossomed through it and little foxes peered through from little crevices. At the center of the wreath, stood a single doe. 

Erin doesn’t get to see the tattoo until a few weeks later because Ania is waiting for it to heal before she shows her. She knows instantly that Rose designed it. She feels tears welling in her eyes.

“You told me to give Kevin my game and my back to you.” 

Erin feels bad for every doubting Ania’s feelings for her. She convinces Rose to give her free reign of the house for a bit. Erin spends hours worshipping Ania, kissing, licking and biting over every one of her scars. She spoils her, letting Ania have whatever she wants from her. Sitting atop her, Erin undoes the buttons of her shirt, slowly, deliberately. She watches Ania’s eyes grow wide. Sure, Ania has seen her shirt off whenever they change out in the locker room but this is different. This is for her. All for her. Ania understands the trust she’s being shown when Erin tells her she can touch anything above the waist. Ania’s on cloud nine. She doesn’t think this can get any better but as they’re lying side by side in bed, Erin manages to croak out the words “I love you”, something she’s only done once before. :’)))

But I digress. 

While they’re at the Barns, Erin does some snooping. She finds her way to one of the barns and creeps in. Climbing up to the loft, despite her fear of heights, Erin finds a little corner full of trophies. Upon closer inspection, she finds the name Niall Lynch engraved on them. After their father died, Declan moved all of his trophies up to the loft so that Rose wouldn’t have to see them. It didn’t matter in the end bc Niall wrote into the will that they weren’t allowed back home anyway. There are quite a few trophies, a few of those enormous belts and ribbons tacked to the wall. Next to one of them is a photo. It’s a picture of Niall and a woman after a match. The woman is holding a little boy that Erin recognizes immediately as Matt. He’s so smol and chubby. The only reason she recognizes him at all is his bright eyes and cheery smile. Erin feels her lips tugging up and curses herself for being a soft bitch. She unpins the photo and takes it with her. She knows Rose kept the picture of baby Ania. An eye for an eye, Erin thought to herself as she climbed down the ladder. Rose is waiting for her at the bottom, dressed in a large sweatshirt and athletic tights with boxing gloves over her shoulders. They stand there, staring at each other. Rose turns away first and heads to the opposite end of the barn. There’s a punching bag set up there along with some weights. Erin follows her. Rose offers her a pair of gloves and she slides them on before turning to face off against her. They don’t keep points. They just throw punches until neither of them can swing anymore. Collapsing on the floor, both of them lay panting as the sun’s final rays retreat from the barn. Rose gets up first. She offers Erin her hand and Erin takes it. They head back to the house to shower. Neither of them said a say a word. When Rose returns to the barn the same time the next day, she finds Erin already waiting for her. 

During their time at the Barns, Erin meets Opal. She’s instantly in love with the little gremlin. They play together in the backyard and the forest. They also wage a prank war against Rose. It’s the middle of winter and a thin layer of snow blankets the place. Coming back in from shoveling snow off the driveway, Rose is greeted by a pail of icy water emptying over her head. There’s a snowball fight that gets so intense that Addy and Ania end up retreating to the patio to watch their girls fight. 

CUDDLES BY THE FIRE! Addy and Rose curled up together on one couch with Ania and Erin in the other!!! Opal feels left out so they all shift to the fireplace and sit in front of it with Opal in the center. She’s such a spoilt little brat. 

On the last day of their break, Rose is taking a stroll through the forest, taking it all in one last time before she has to leave. As she walks, she hears a girl singing in a soft, raspy voice. It’s the same voice that Rose hears on her cd player. She’s racing through the forest, vaulting over fallen trees as the snow crunches beneath her feet. The voice was louder now and Rose knew she was headed the right way. Bursting forth from the forest into a clearing, Rose sees a girl sitting on a fallen tree with her back to her. Her pale golden hair was unbound and blew softly in the wind. Rose took a step forward. Then another. She circled around the girl and caught sight of the blade she was sharpening. The girl’s voice crescendo as she dragged her gaze up from her knife to meet Rose’s. Beautiful hazel eyes now held Rose’s gaze. The corners of the girl’s lips curled in a mischievous smile. Flipping the blade shut, she stood and walked towards Rose. 

“They’ll be looking for us,” she said before heading back the way Rose had come. Rose stood there a few minutes longer, paralyzed by her own disbelief. Rose heard the sound of Addy’s voice calling her name from across the forest. She turned and jogged back to the house, her mind whirling. Rose always figured she’d meet the girl who sang to her in the cd player in Cabeswater but never in a million years did Rose imagine that girl would Erin Minyard.