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roosterforme · 7 days ago

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Aim for the Sky Part 27 | Rooster x Reader

Summary: Bradley is required to travel for a week, and both you and he are exhausted. He's hoping this will mean fewer deployments in the future, but in the present, he's going to need to remember where his responsibilities lie.

Warnings: Angst, adult language, lactation kink, body image, fluff, smut, DILF Roo

Length: 3900 words

Pairing: Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw x Female Reader

Aim for the Sky masterlist. This was written to accompany my series Is It Working For You? along with a bunch of my one-shots and other series, but it can be read on its own! Check my masterlist for the reading order.

Once again, your parents extended their stay to spend more time with Rose, but when they finally flew back to Maryland, it felt strange to be on your own with your daughter. You and Bradley fell into a regular routine once more, but it took him days before he came clean about being stressed out. When he got home late from work to find you on the couch feeding Rose, you could tell by the set of his shoulders that he'd had a long day.

"Can we talk about some things?" he asked, bending to untie his boots. You'd been wanting him to confide in you for days, but you were already exhausted again from the late night feedings and had pushed the comments Bradley made to Jake to the back burner.

"What's on your mind?" you asked, secretly pleased that he leaned down to give you a long, needy kiss, complete with his big hand on your neck, before kissing Rose as she ate. It had been a few days since you and he were intimate, and your body was already responding to him as he dropped down on the couch next to you.

"Can we just move to La Jolla? Nothing stresses me out when we have copious amounts of champagne and oral sex."

You laughed at his unexpected response as he ran his rough fingers along Rose's fuzzy hair. "Don't forget about the seafood platters."

"Sweetheart, I'll never forget about the seafood platters," he promised, turning to look at you as his head sank back against the couch. "Your mom and dad are serious about moving out here."

Your smile started to fade away. "Yeah, Roo. They are. And I thought you were pleased by that fact."

"I am." His brown eyes remained fixed on yours. "I am. I told you I was. I want them close, but not too close. Like, I don't want them next door where they can hear me call you my filthy little slut or something."

"Bradley," you said, laughing again as he took Rose in his hands to burp her.

"They don't need to know the ins and outs of how you call me Daddy while you're gagging on my cock either." He kissed the baby on her forehead. "Sorry, Nugget. I'll teach you one day how babies are made, and you'll probably cringe the whole time."

You sighed and reached for Bradley, cupping his jaw in your hand and stroking his mustache with your thumb. "My parents are seriously getting their house ready to sell. So just give it to me straight."

He nodded. "I don't want them over here all the time, okay? I love them, I really do, but they take over our house when they come. And even though we finished the attic so they could have a place to stay when they're here, Rosie can move her bedroom up there when she's older. So it wasn't a waste of time since the contractor saw your tits."

"It was a photo of my tits! I didn't just whip them out for him to see!" Now Bradley was laughing as you said, "It sounds like you're worried about having some boundaries if my parents become our new neighbors."

"Yes," he replied, nodding as you ran your fingers along his jaw. "That."

"I'm sure we can have a conversation with them and address all of your concerns." Rose seemed to be done burping, and you were treated to the view of Bradley cuddling your four month old against his chest. "Now, can you tell me what else made you have a bad day at work?"

"What makes you think I had a bad day?" he asked, placing soft kisses on Rose's cheek. "I could never have a bad day when I get to come home to my girls." You sighed as he ran his nose along her hair and inhaled deeply before he met your gaze. "Okay. It's not the end of the world, but Mav informed me that I need to take a trip to the Naval Airstation in Fort Worth. I don't really have any details yet."

"Okay," you replied softly, finally voicing what had been on your mind. "Well, maybe Rose and I can come with you for a few days? I can't remember exactly how much vacation time I have left, but it could be fun. And you did say the next trip should be for the three of us to enjoy together."

Bradley shrugged and immediately said, "Fort Worth in August? Baby Girl, it's going to be miserably hot. I know you, for some reason, miss the east coast humidity, but this is going to be gross. Ask Jake about it, he's from that ridiculous state."

You couldn't believe how quickly he shut it down. "It was just an idea," you mumbled, watching him snuggle the baby. "So you wouldn't have to miss Rose the whole time while you're away."

His head tipped back as he sighed. "I'm taking this new position so I can hopefully deploy less often and be here more later on. Even if I have to start working longer days, a week or two away from home is nothing compared to five months."

You bristled. "I understand that, Roo. We've talked about this so much. But maybe try to be a little bit more patient with the idea of my parents moving here so I can have a support system when you're busy?"

When you stood and rushed toward the bedroom, Bradley was right behind you, hand reaching out to grab your shoulder while he still held Rose tight. "Are you mad at me?"

Your stomach roiled with irritation, annoyance and disdain. You hated when you got like this, because he was the one who could bring out the best and also the worst in you. "I don't know."

-------------------------------

You were kind of quiet at home. Bradley hated it. You were a bit more vocal during sex, but that certainly didn't make him feel any better about the rest of it.

"I have my dates for Fort Worth," he informed you when he strolled in from work with some yellow flowers and a new book for Rose. Today was important to him. He wasn't sure you'd remember why, but he still wanted to acknowledge it.

"When?" you asked, continuing to make dinner while he looked around for the baby. "She's napping in her crib," you added, seemingly knowing he always wanted his daughter nearby.

"Second week of August," he replied. "So, pretty soon. But just for a week." You nodded as Bradley walked closer, and he realized what you were cooking. "Marry Me Rooster?"

"Yeah." Your voice was soft as you looked at him over your shoulder. You were also still wearing your khaki uniform, and he could tell you were tired. He was tired, too, but he wanted things to feel more natural around here again. He didn't want to accept that this was just how things would be now when the two of you were taking turns getting up with Rose all the time.

He wished he hadn't made such a fuss about your parents, because he really did love them, and it would be nice to have some help occasionally. And now he felt like you were continually annoyed with him, and he had to figure out a way to fix this.

Your voice broke into his thoughts. "It's kind of a special day?"

You sounded unsure. Like you thought maybe he didn't remember. But a smile immediately found his lips, and he gestured to the flowers. He should have known you'd remember. You remembered everything. You just made him a seafood platter to celebrate Carole's birthday the other day.

"I proposed two years ago." You visibly relaxed at his words as you took the flowers in your hands. He stroked the diamond ring on your finger as he said, "I couldn't wait another minute after I found this in the storage unit. I needed you to wear it. I needed you to say yes." You melted into his arms, and he kissed your forehead. "Can I go ahead and propose something else right now?"

You nodded and hummed, lips brushing the scars on his neck. "I'm just happy you remembered."

"Sweetheart, I remember everything," he promised. "And I propose that we plan a trip for the three of us before the year is over. We can go anywhere you and the Nugget want."

Your eyes lit up as he cupped your perfect cheek in his hand. "I have so many ideas, Roo."

"I knew you would. Can I make another proposal?" When you raised one eyebrow, he whispered, "How about we mess around before Rose wakes up?"

He was already wrapping his arms around you, turning you toward the hallway when you said, "But what about dinner?"

"We'll be fast," he replied confidently, turning off the stove burner.

"You're never fast! You like to linger!"

"It's a new era, Baby Girl. The mom and dad era. I'll learn how to be quick so we can finish before she wakes up."

This was the closest thing to a true quickie Bradley had experienced in a long time. Maybe ever. You were pushed up against the wall just inside the bedroom, belt jingling with your pants down around your thighs. He was going hard at a nice, steady pace with his hand inside your bra. Your warm milk dripped between his fingers and along his palm as he whimpered.

"Oh, I love this so much," he whined as his other fingers found your clit. "I'm not happy about making this quick. I might need more later."

He could already hear Rose getting restless in the nursery down the hallway, her soft cries ramping up as Bradley slammed his cock into his wife. He wanted to make sure he got you off before he was done, but then you went and said something so hot, he knew he wasn't going to be able to hold on much longer.

"I could always nurse you later if you want."

When he came, his vision flooded with dizzying color. Bradley lapped your milk from his hand, moaning your name as his hips eventually slowed. Rose was wailing now as you bent down to pull your pants up, cum dripping down your inner thighs as you looked at him with a little grin.

"I take it you're interested in my offer."

"Absolutely," he rasped, pulling his pants up so he could go say hi to his daughter. "If I ever say no to your tits, something is definitely wrong, Baby Girl. That would be your cue to take me out back and finish me off." You laughed when he said, "Happy engagement anniversary. I'll go take care of the Nugget."

-----------------------------

"When's the wedding?" you asked Jake as you dropped your tray next to his at lunch. He was eating the most delicious looking burger and a slice of pizza, and your soup and salad looked pitiful next to them. Seemingly no matter what you did, you'd stopped losing weight since the baby was born, and right now you were so exhausted, you couldn't even think about starting an exercise regimen.

"We've been engaged less than a month," Jake drawled, shoving some of the accompanying fries into his mouth. "Maybe some of us can wait a little longer to get hitched than your husband could, Angel." You rolled your eyes dramatically at him, but you were fighting a smile. "I'm trying my best to make sure that everything is in order for Jeremiah, if I'm being honest."

"Like what?" you asked, blowing on a spoonful of your soup.

Jake heaved a deep sigh, dragging a fry through ketchup. "He already calls me 'dad'. His speech was delayed, but it was still one of his first words, probably because I was around so much. I want to make sure Cat's ex doesn't get any rights, and if that means I need to hire another legal team before we get married, then so be it."

Tears stung your eyes as you patted his cheek gently. You knew you were lucky that you and Bradley were together and that he would do anything to take care of his child, but right now you were just so happy for Jeremiah. "He's such a sweet kid, Jake. And you love him so much."

"I do," he replied before taking an enormous bite out of his burger. You let him chew in silence while you picked at your lunch. Right now, you really wished Bradley was here, but the chances of him showing up were slim when he was out shadowing Maverick again. He was leaving in a few days for Texas, and you were feeling pretty emotional. It would just be you and Rose at home for a whole week by yourselves.

"Well, if you're looking for a nice venue, I know a good parking lot."

Jake barked out a laugh. "There's too much sentimental Bradshaw bullshit in that parking lot. No way I'd be allowed to get married there."

Then Cat showed up, and Jake's attention immediately shifted to her. You poked your salad around on your plate, wondering why you were so damn tired. You still had four more hours of work to get through before you had to pick Rose up and make dinner. Maybe you could just get pizza. But you shouldn't. But it sounded so good as you watched Jake eat his. But your hips and belly were already so big, you couldn't let yourself.

Your afternoon was filled with checking code that someone in Annapolis had entered, and they'd done a really shitty job. When you left your office, your eyes were tired, and you could feel yourself caving. You ordered a pizza and picked it up on your way home with Rose. Then you ate half of it on the couch while you fed her. And when you were done, you really wanted to cry, because you didn't know why you couldn't control yourself right now.

"I'm starving," Bradley groaned when he walked in. "You got pizza?" he asked, shoving two slices stacked up on top of each other into his mouth and moaning. Then he dropped down onto the couch and polished them off while you switched Rose to your other side. "I need to remember to pack my dress blues for Fort Worth."

"Why?"

Bradley shrugged and reached for the next slice. "Apparently, there's some sort of reception for the aviators that are selected for Top Gun in the fall. I don't know how much sway I'll have, but I'm really hoping I can pick some good ones for the next generation of the program since I'm aging out."

"You're not aging out, Roo!" you gasped. "You chose a different career trajectory!"

"I mean..."

"Stop. You're not old. Don't even try to tell me you're old."

"I'll be forty soon."

"You're thirty-eight."

"That's almost forty."

"You look like a DILF."

He reached for the last slice of pizza, folded it up and ate it while he reached for Rose. Like usual, she curled up on her father. Her features looked so much like his, but he was always the first one to argue with you about that, so you said nothing while he chewed up his food.

"I need you to help me pack for hot as hell Texas. I'm thinking just shorts besides my flight suits and uniforms?"

"I'll help you as soon as Rose goes to sleep for the night."

Bradley took the reins for the rest of the evening while you tried not to fall asleep before the baby. That was much easier said than done, but at least Bradley supervised tummy time while Tramp licked Rose, and then he gave her a bath. He read bedtime stories and changed her into pajamas so you didn't have to, gently setting her in her crib before joining you where you sat in bed yawning.

"You okay?" he asked, brushing his lips along your cheek before heading to the closet to start pulling out clothes to pack.

"Yeah. I just wish I didn't order the pizza, because it's empty calories, and it probably made me feel worse and more exhausted in the long run."

"But it was delicious," he muttered, piling up some of his favorite tropical print shirts. "Be honest, how many of these do you think I'll need?"

You snorted. "Unless every night is happy hour at the Copacabana, probably none. But knowing you, I'd pack at least two."

"See, you understand," he muttered with a smile as you chose two of your favorites and handed them to him. It was strange watching him load things into a duffle bag for something other than a deployment or special mission. You knew exactly how long he'd be gone. You knew it was just for a week and that he could FaceTime you and Rose whenever he wanted to, but it still felt like you were sending him away.

"We're going to miss you."

He immediately tossed the bag onto the floor and joined you in bed. "Don't cry, Baby Girl," he whispered, swiping at tears you hadn't realized were already filling your eyes. "I'll barely be gone at all. And I don't even have to finish packing tonight. I can do it later."

You nodded and let him envelope you in his warmth. That's how you eventually fell asleep.

----------------------------------

"This sucks," Bradley said for probably the hundredth time in the past hour. Standing at the curb at San Diego International Airport with a beautiful wife and a beautiful daughter, being forced to leave them for a week, was actually awful. He didn't want to go. He wanted to continue to cradle Rose against his chest with his arm wrapped around you until he missed his flight.

"You have to go now so hopefully you can do this less frequently in the future," you whispered, voice shaky with emotion. You looked really tired, and Bradley knew you wouldn't get much of a break this week. That's why he'd arranged for Nat to check on you at home a few times whether you wanted her to or not.

"Count on it, Sweetheart," he murmured, placing kisses to Rosie's soft hair as her little fingers poked at the insignia pins on his uniform. "And I need you to be a perfect Nugget for Mommy. I'll call later tonight after I get settled in the barracks."

"Okay." Your voice was muffled as you buried your face against his neck. "I love you."

"I love you both," he promised, collecting his final kisses from Rose before buckling her into her car seat in the back of the red Bronco. Then he got a particularly filthy kiss from you that left both of you grinning before you started to shove him toward the airport entrance.

"You need to go or you'll miss your flight. And then Mav will be on my case about it."

Before he ducked inside, he cupped his free hand to his mouth and shouted, "I love you!" He watched you blow him a kiss and then pull away from the curb before he headed to the counter to drop off his bag.

He hated traveling like this, in his uniform. It felt like everyone milling around, trying to check their bags, was looking at him. He was only wearing it today, because he wasn't sure what to expect when he arrived at a base he'd only visited one time years ago. The last thing he wanted was to seem unprepared in front of an admiral, so he wore his khakis as a precaution.

"Lieutenant Commander. Where are you headed?" asked the airline agent when she looked at his pins.

Impressed, he replied, "Dallas-Fort Worth."

She took his duffle, wished him a good flight, and then Bradley slept for the entire time he was in the air. Maybe you weren't the only one who was exhausted, because the nap seemed to do wonders for him. He woke up feeling rested, and just as soon as he sent a text letting you know he landed, he was off in search of a rental car.

To his absolute delight, all he had to do was ask nicely and flash his most charming smile, and he was handed the keys to a brand new, black Bronco. It was a model year newer than your red one back at home, and he was excited to scrutinize all of the little differences as he drove it around for the week.

"Don't like the lack of a car seat," he muttered, tossing his bag onto the backseat where he was so used to seeing Rose's infant carrier.

Was he really that guy? Did he already miss his kid enough that he had to open up the photo gallery in his phone and scroll through a few pictures before he could drive away? Apparently he was, and it made him ache to be away from her. This was so much worse than going to La Jolla without his daughter, because right now, he had neither of you.

When his stomach started rumbling for dinner, he drove to the barracks and showed his identification, only to be told his room wasn't ready yet. So he went right back out to the Bronco in search of dinner. He knew the name of a tavern popular with officers in the area, so he typed it into his GPS and headed in the direction it told him. He had to laugh, figuring he was about to walk into the Lone Star version of the Hard Deck, but that's kind of what he wanted right now. Dinner somewhere that felt comfortable if not familiar.

"Oof." It looked like a dump compared to his bar at home, but it seemed popular, and he was hungry enough that it didn't matter. When he walked in, he took a quick survey of the space before grabbing an empty stool at the bar. He ordered your favorite beer and a sandwich and took his phone out, careful not to set it on the bar in case the owner was part of some sort of association along with Penny.

He tried reading an article, but he felt as though he was being watched. Bradley tried to ignore it, fairly certain he didn't know anyone on base here, but the feeling nagged at him while he ate. The twang of music playing on the jukebox was distracting, but not distracting enough. When he finished his food and wiped his mouth with a napkin, he picked up his bottle and drained the rest of his beer while he glanced around.

Then he saw a young woman in a flight suit playing pool not too far from his spot at the bar. Her bright blue eyes were focused on his face, and her lips curled into a grin before she bent to sink her shot. Her patches told him she originated from Virginia Beach like he did, and that her call sign was Indigo. As Bradley turned, ready to sign his bill and leave, he saw her approach out of the corner of his eye.

"Can I help you?" he asked, turning her way again with one eyebrow raised. She was attractive, even up close, and he remained silent while her gaze traveled from his face down to his chest where his name tag was displayed. Then she gasped in delight.

"Lieutenant Commander Bradshaw," she said, eyes snapping back up to meet his. "All the way from Top Gun. I've been waiting to meet you for weeks, Sir."

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Well, I hope BG is having a nice time at home without her husband. Thanks @beyondthesefourwalls

PART 28

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elordilover · 8 months ago

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Hi!

Could you write a Walker Scobell x Actress Reader where she is anxious for her upcoming audition and he's helping her through it and helping her practice her lines and such?

Thank you so much! I love your writing <3

i love this! thanks for the request!! ♥️

the audition

pairing: walker scobell x fem! actress! reader

summary: you are getting ready for an audition, your boyfriend walker helps you through your anxiety

warnings: none! not proofread, just fluff! oh and some anxiety

————————————————————————

you had been practicing for your audition all day. running over lines and blocking to make sure you got this role. tomorrow was the day you were waiting for, your audition for a character in heartstopper season 3. you were going to be auditioning for one of nick nelson's relatives.

all the stress had finally come over after many many hours of rehearsing lines. every time you messed up on a line you got super stressed and overwhelmed. you only knew one person who could fully understand what you are going through, and help you through it.

you grabbed your phone off your bed and instantly call him, your boyfriend walker. He had been through many auditions and could help you with this stress and pressure.

"hey baby", his voice flooded your ears. he picked up after the first ring

"hi walk", you responded, hoping he wasn't in the middle of his family dinner, since is was 6:34 pm.

"baby? what's wrong?" he sounded concerned.

"I'm okay, just a little anxious for my audition tomorrow", you told him.

"ohhh", he hummed, "do you want to come and eat dinner with me and my family then we can practice?'

he knew how to make you blush. he knew exactly how to make you smile after a hard day. "yeah! ill be at your house in like 25 minutes", you told him, already feeling better.

"okay, see you soon, i love you!!" he said, sounding excited.

"i love you!!", you said as you hung up, grabbed your script and went outside to the car.

----------

walker immediately hugged you when you parked at his families house, "hey baby", he said.

"hey bubs", you cooed back to him.

"my mom is making some dinner right now, then after i want to practice with you", he said while holding your hand and leading you to the dining room

"Y/N!!", you heard leena yell. "leena!!" you yelled back as you hugged her, you missed her.

you sat and ate with the scobell family, they provided you so much happiness in a time of worry.

-----------

after everyone finished eating walker grabbed your hand and led you up to his room. you pulled out your script and handed it to walker.

"okay heres how we are gonna do this, if you get a line right, i give you a kiss", walker told you as he opened up the script book and turned to the page you were reading for tomorrow.

"okayyyy i guess that will work", you replied. you really wanted to get these lines correct now.

"first line, you ready?', he asked as you nodded in response. "hey guys! how are you?", walker said, imitating how it would be said on screen.

"so good, i'm amazing!", you replied back with a happy tone.

"correct. one kiss", walker said as he leaned in and gave you a quick peck on the lips.

this went on for about an hour and a half, you had acquired 27 kisses from your sweet boyfriend.

----------

"i'm really starting to get nervous for tomorrow", you told him.

"you are going to do wonderful, i promise!", he responded cheerfully.

"but you're just saying that to make me feel better", you could feel your heartbeat become faster.

"Y/N, i promise, you are the most beautiful, kind, talented, amazing, loving person i know-

"walker stop"

"no i could go on" he said as you leaped into his arms and gave him a kiss on his cheek. you were the luckiest girl.

"i love you so so so much", you said, you didn't have any words to truly describe your love for him.

"no i love you more Y/N, you are going to do so good tomorrow, they are going to love you", he told you as he swayed back and forth with you in his arms. "and even if you don't get the role, i still love you, and there are so many other roles that are perfect for you".

"i love you so so so much walker, more than you know", you said as he picked you up and spined you around. "thank you bubs"

----------

you woke up to a text from walker saying how proud of you he was, and how he loved you. you quickly sent a response and started getting ready for the audition.

----------

you showed up and your nerves came flooding back, seeing the director, casting director, etc scared you.

it was finally the time to audition, you thought you did pretty well and was excited for next week, which was when you would know if you got the role.

you texted walker again, telling him you were done. he replied saying that he was proud of you and wanted to hang out as soon as possible.

---------

you were with walker, it had been about a week since your audition, you were a little nervous but mostly excited.

your phone rang with a number you weren't familiar with.

"baby. wait is this it?", walker asked while looking at your phone.

"i think it is", you replied while answering the call.

"hello, is this Y/N?", you heard.

"yes! this is her!"

"we would just like to congratulate you on your role in heartstopper season 3!!! we just emailed you more information and everything you need to know. we are so excited to work with you!"

you quickly responded and hung up the phone, then turned to your boyfriend, who looked nervous.

"walker! i got the role!"

"oh my god! im so proud of you baby", he said as he engulfed you in his arms. you were so happy. one to have this loving boyfriend by your side. two to get to be able to be a part of this wonderful project.

—————

i am so excited to announce my role in heartsopper season three! i am so thankful for everyone that has helped me with this process! i love you all! i feel so honored! 🍂🏳️‍🌈♥️

walkerscobell- yay! so happy for you!

y/nfan-OMG?!?

kitconnor- so excited to work with you!

joelocke- yayyyyyyyyy

y/nfan13- my two fav things!!!!!

heartstopper- 🍂🍂🍂

————————————————————————

taglist 🏷️ @izzystylinson @saltnseas @platypusbearrr @lilly-andreas123

(hopefully that works)

requests are open!!

thanks so much for reading!! likes and reblogs are appreciated!

🍂🫀🫶🏻🫒🎀🌚🧦🦋💟🐝🪷🌍🌈🫐🐞

#walker scobell x reader #writing #walker scobell fanfiction #walker scobell fic #walker scobell x you #scobell #walker #walker scobell fluff #x reader #walker scobell fic rec #walker scobell sweet #walker scobell percy jackson #walker scobell #walker scobell x actress

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hils79 · 3 months ago

Text

Hils Watches Tibetan Sea Flower - Ep 1

Yeah, sorry to The Spirealm but I've been very upfront about my intention to drop everything as soon as Tibetan Sea Flower came out.

I wasn't expecting it to drop overnight while I was asleep with zero warning but here we are. The DMBJ fandom is the embodiment of chaos and that extends to the way they release things too.

Also apologies to Choi San. I was going to gif you today but, well, see the above.

Apparently the official English title for this is Adventures Behind the Bronze Door but we've all been calling it Tibetan Sea Flower forever and that's also the title of the novella so I'm using that for my liveblogs. I'll use both titles in the tags.

Right, I've rambled enough. I'm going in.

Oh, god, I'm not ready.

Okay, first of all OMG LOOK AT HIS CUTE LITTLE FACE! But, also, I love that this flashback has him still looking older than he does in the retirement era movies

I mean he is not a skilled tomb raider, this is true. That doesn't stop him from trying though

Wait, that's the baby triangle! Are you telling me a 27 year old and a 44 year old are playing a character at the same age? I know I shouldn't expect logic from DMBJ but come on

Wait, is this a completely different actor? At first I thought they'd just used special effects to make Zhang Luyi look younger but I don't think that's actually him at all

Aww it's nice to see Wang Bowen back too. I do enjoy his Pangzi

Okay, but why is Young Pangzi being played by the same person who played retirement age Pangzi in the movies. MAKE IT MAKE SENSE!

I don't know who this is because the drama doesn't even had a MDL page yet but I like him. He's a good baby Wu Xie. Look at his little face when Pangzi says they need to go and see if Xiaoge is still alive or not

There's our special boy!

Starting with the whump early. Love to see it.

Only 20 mins into the first episode and Pangzi is crying because he thinks he found Xiaoge's body. I'm fine. This is fine.

FFS I know he's not dead and this is still devastating

Take a drink! It's the standard DMBJ hallucination!

Oh, not even that! It was all a dream!

Bleeding himself to lower his heart rate enough to fake being dead is definitely a very Xiaoge thing to do

I guess that's one way of describing what happened

Is he...using his architecture skills to map out the Zhang ancestral home that he went to? IS HE DOING ACTUAL ARCHITECTURE?

And wipe out an entire family so it was safe for Xiaoge when he got out, but we don't need to mention that small detail

I do like that this one shot shows you how obsessed and unhinged Wu Xie was during the time Xiaoge was gone

AH HAH! Now he's Zhang Luyi!

SURPRISE JI XIAOBING XIAO HUA????

A NEW XIUXIU??? Everything happens so much!

Baby, do you know what franchise you're in?

So weird seeing Xiaoge without his hood

Well, that was a lot. And I still have another 2 episodes to watch. Good thing it's a bank holiday here today

#hils watches #hils watches tibetan sea flower #hils watches cdramas #tibetan sea flower #adventure behind the bronze door #dmbj #cdrama

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thefallennightmare · 1 year ago

Text

Just Pretend-six

*gif created by me. feel free to use, simply give credit*

Parings: Noah Sebastian x Musician! Reader

Warnings/Tropes: language, angst, fluff, smut, star-crossed lovers, right person/wrong time, cheating, talks of mental abuse.

Summary: “I can wait for years, heaven knows I’m not getting over you.” A story about two star-crossed lovers, that always find their way back because their souls are entwined. The universe desperately attempts to bring them together, no matter what the cost.

Authors Note: Please, I beg you. Don't focus too much on the whole Trey part(i mean he is an asshole.) But when Noah and Angel are listening to music, please please please listen too Eiley by Too Close To Touch. That is all.

Collaborating With: @thescarlettvvitch(better give her all the love as well)

Tags: @thescarlettvvitch @ozwriterchick @waake-meee-up @notingridslurkaccount @niicoleleigh @sammyjoeee @xxrainstorm @dominuslunae @notmaddihealy @malice-ov-mercy @crimson-calligraphyx @iknownothingpeople @writethrough @thebadchic @blackveilomens Claudia on Tumblr @tobe-written @blacksoul-27 @loeytuan98 @loverofagoodbeard @comfortcharactercraze @lma1986 @plutonikchaos1 @spicywhenspeaking @lyschko666 @somewhere-diamond

"How are we feeling tonight, Milwaukee?!" I yelled into the microphone.

Cheers reverberated back from the ground up to the stage as I squinted my eyes when the stage lights cast over us.

"I'm glad you're having fun because if you weren't, this would be awkward," I joked with a chuckle while adjusting the microphone stand. "But all jokes aside, I wanted to say thank you for all of your support for Hollow Souls the last few years. It's appreciated more than you all could ever know. Because of your love and support, we're able to do what we love every night."

I pointed to Chase who did his typical ten-second drum solo then to Malcolm who strummed a few notes on his bass before giving an over-exaggerated bow. And reluctantly, I pointed to Trey who came up to me and threw an arm around my shoulder, leaving a kiss on my cheek; it smelled like vodka and cigarettes.

"Thanks, baby," he winked before chugging half of his clear water bottle that I was sure wasn't water.

Glancing over to the left side of the stage, I gave a wide smile to the guys of Bad Omens as they all watched out set. They had a killer set before us, this one I actually watched, and the energy that vibrated off of them stuck to me before I came out here, finally letting the excitement of performing to fill my veins. This was the first night in a while that I moved around on stage and put on a show for the crowd.

Noah flashed me a brief smile, memories of our day on the beach a few days ago still burning hot in my mind, and I gave him a small wave.

"So we only have two songs left," I spoke back into the microphone which in turn made the crowd boo loudly. "But you guys have to admit, we put on a killer show for you all tonight. But what about Bad Omens?"

The crow cheered but not as loud as I thought they should so I grabbed the mic off of the stand before going up to the little stage that Chase had his drums set up so I could stare down at the entire crowd.

"Oh, that was some weak shit, Milwaukee," I showed them my mock disappointment by placing my hand on my hip.

Chase looked at me with a smile, knowing what I was fishing for so he beat on his drum, hyping up the crowd.

"I want to hear every single one of you scream for Bad Omens on the count of three. Ready?!"

Cheers and screams filled the large venue hall, but I was greedy; I needed to hear it louder. These guys deserved it.

"One!" I held up one finger.

Chase drummed faster; harder.

"Two!"

Two fingers up in the air as Chase put more force into his drumming.

Looking back over to where Bad Omens were watching with bright smiles as I hyped up the crowd for them, I held up three fingers, Chase breaking out in a full on drum solo now.

"THREE!"

The screams were loud, deafening, and I took out my ear in so I could hear it for myself. My heart pounded in my chest as I ran down the steps from Chase's makeshift stage and ran to one end of the stage, throwing up my arms up in the air before doing the same thing on the other end of the stage. Malcolm played a few chords on his bass as I stood next to him.

"You guys might not think this now but Bad Omens are going to be huge in a few years. They'll be in our position selling out shows and Hollow Souls will open for them," I promised into the microphone.

Malcolm watched me with awe through the messy strands of auburn hair that covered his face. Tonight was the first night all tour that I interacted with the crowd this much and fuck, it felt so good. With the energy of watching Bad Omens play and the crowd singing to every one of our songs made adrenaline course through me and I couldn't stop.

Noah's words from our first night on tour came to mind: "Come alive out there. Have fun."

Trey watched me with pure distaste in his eyes as I hyped up Noah and his friends but I didn't care; I was feeling so good about myself that I even wore something different from I usually did. A short-sleeved white crop top with black high wasted shorts. It showed off most of my tattoos and when Trey tried to tell me to go change, I simply told him to fuck off before running out on stage.

As I walked over to the area by Chase's drum stage where I kept my water, I glanced to my right and noticed that all the guys of Bad Omens were giving me large smiles with Noah finishing it with a wink. I also had my phone on here and usually I never checked it during our set but there was this feeling deep in my gut that told me to check it. It shocked me to see it was from Mason, an old friend of mine.

I'm sorry it has to be through text but you needed to know. Keaton's gone.

My phone slipped from my grasp as I nearly choked on my breath, vacant eyes staring at the floor beneath my feet. I swear my heart stopped in that moment I read the text, almost not believing it. But knowing it came from Mason who was close with Keaton, it was true.

Keaton's gone? I just talked to him a few days ago, and we made plans to catch up once tour was over.

I sucked in a breath; the realization hitting me like a freight train, and I spun around to side stage just in time to see Noah staring down at the phone in his hand. His body was stilled straight, not moving an inch, but even from this distance I could see the cold expression that crossed his face. Nothing about his body language gave off what he was thinking; what he was feeling.

"Look at me, Noah." I muttered under my breath.

I needed to know what his eyes were saying.

Instead, he shoved his phone into his pocket before turning his back to me and disappearing from view, the rest of his friends following close behind.

"Y/N?"

Through my hazy vision, I glanced up to Chase who was kneeling on his makeshift stage so he could look down at me.

"What's wrong?" His voice was full of worry.

He must have seen me read the text and knew me so well to know something was drastically wrong.

"Uh," I blinked slowly, voice wavering, as the grief sank its feral fangs deep into the marrow of my bones. It's nails gouged through my heart, it bleeding to the depths of my stomach.

What was I supposed to do? Cancel the rest of the show?

No, Keaton wouldn't want that. He would want me to perform with every ounce I had left in me and that's what I was going to do. We could all grief together after.

"I'll explain after the show. Lets close it out strong," I nodded my reassurance to Chase before slowly walking over to my microphone stand.

I ignored the crowd as they chanted for an encore and pushed my way through the bodies of our crew members. Malcolm and Chase were hot on my heels, waiting for me to explain what the hell was going on. I rushed through the last two songs so I could get off stage and find Noah. I needed to know if he was alright.

Trey's fingers grasped my elbow in a tight grip to haul me to a stop. "What the fuck is wrong with you? Why did you rush through the last two songs?"

"Fuck off!" I screamed while ripping my arm from his grasp.

Tears burned in my eyes, and I dug my palms into them to stop the tears from falling. I couldn't break down right now. I needed to find Noah.

When Trey tried to grab me again, Chase stepped in front of me and pushed him hard in his chest. "Leave her alone, man. Can't you see something's wrong?"

"This isn't your business!" Trey stepped up into Chase's chest.

Malcolm felt the immediate change in air, the tension growing its webs deep into the air around us, so he laid a soft touch on Chase's shoulder.

"He's not worth it, man."

Trey snickered. "You always have to come to Chase's rescue. Is that what true love is?"

Chase cursed before pushing past Malcom, laying his fist directly into Trey's jaw, knocking his ass to the floor. I yelped out in surprise while covering my mouth as Chase tried to get another hit in but now Malcolm was pushing him farther away from Trey.

"Calm down! You can't do that right now."

He spat at the floor where Trey sat while clutching his jaw. "He deserves it! I'm pissed I waited this long!"

Trey was fast on his feet to barrel past Malcom to tackle Chase down the ground, laying fist after fist into his face.

"Stop it!" I yelled with tears in my eyes.

Malcolm cursed then grabbed Trey from the back and basically tossed him to the side. Chase scrambled to his feet, spitting blood at the ground as he tried to go after Trey.

"That's all you got, pretty boy? Need your boyfriend to come save you again?" Trey taunted with a smirk.

"Fuck off, Trey!" I screamed while stepping between him and Chase, who immediately moved me behind him to block me from Trey.

"Oh, what's this?" He raised a brow. "Noah's dick wasn't enough, now she's sucking yours too?"

Trey's body crumbled to the ground, clutching his now broken nose that had blood pooling to the floor between his fingers.

Malcom cursed under his breath while rubbing his sore knuckles.

"You're a piece of shit," I seethed from over Chase's shoulder. "Not everything is about you!"

"The hell it isn't!" Trey screamed. "You're always taking everyone else side. I'm your boyfriend, Y/N! Why are you in such a hurry to find Noah? You should be with me, not some pussy kid who think he's going to be the next big thing."

Chase advantaged to Trey once more but Malcom was quick to step in front of him.

Malcolm grabbed Chase's face so he could look at just his emerald eyes. "I know, man. But look at Y/N, look at her! She's two seconds away from breaking down and we don't know why. She needs us."

Chase's nostrils flared as he gave one last glance down to Trey before his eyes fell on me, who was still covering my mouth, mind swirling with so many differnt emotions I didn't know which one to focus on. I didn't realize but tears were streaming down my face as I continued to stare at Trey.

"I can't believe you're taking their side. After everything I gave you?" He seethed while slowly rising to his feet.

I blinked, astonished he said that. "I'm not getting into this with you right now."

He spit blood at my feet, wiping it on the back of his hand. "You're pathetic."

I thought the anger would rise as he pushed past us but the grief was so strong; it outweighed all the rest.

"Y/N," Malcolm was now lifting my chin up towards his face, worry filling the emerald lights of his eyes. "What's wrong?"

"I have to find, Noah."

My voice was so quiet, and I knew they didn't hear me so after clearing my throat, I held my shoulders straighter so I could tell them the words that I was dreading to say.

"Keaton. He's uh-.," I swallowed thickly. "Keaton's dead."

Chase's anger left his body as he ran a hand over his buzzed head while Malcolm gave a slow nod, my words still registering with him. We all were close with the guys in Too Close To Touch but they knew the special bond Keaton and I had. They also knew how much I was battling inside my mind.

"Come on," Chase's soothing voice encompassed around me as he wrapped an arm around my shoulders, leading us through the backstage area of the venue.

Malcolm showed us his phone. "Jolly said Noah's outside, he wanted to be alone."

I nodded numbly. "Maybe I'll catch him before we leave-."

"No."

Turning in Chase's arms, I saw Nick standing at the doorway that lead out to the back parking lot. His hair was a mess as if he was running his hands through his and while his eyes were red, it looked like he was holding in his own tears.

"He won't talk to any of us, not even me. He's shutting down and I don't know how to help him," Nick said with so much defeat in his voice, it made my heart wrench in pain.

"I don't know how much help I'll be if he won't even listen to you, Nick," I shrugged.

His eyes shined with the wetness of tears. "Please."

I was already loss for words and which made me unable to say the things that crawled my mind. How would I be able to translate how I'm feeling about this when truthfully, I didn't know myself?

"Okay," I let out in one breath. "Where is he?"

"When I left him, he was pacing in front of our bus," Nick said while motioning for me to follow.

Chase left a kiss on my head while Malcolm bumped his fist with mine, his way of showing affection, and I followed Nick outside where the sight broke my heart. Noah was pacing the length of the bus, running a frantic hand through his long hair. Jolly and Folio watched from afar with their hands in their pockets, not sure what to do. Noah let out a loud noise that shook the earth beneath me, the raw grief destroying him.

"Noah," I spoke softly.

Red, bloodshot eyes, stared back at me as tears stained his face. Noah's bottom lips trembled as a broken sob crawled out of his throat.

"Is Trey around? Because I don't want to deal with that bullshit right now."

"Fuck Trey," I spat, the altercation from earlier still burning low. "It's just you and me, Noah."

Both of us stood still for a long moment before the same magnetic pull that was etched in deep in our hearts made us both break out in a sprint towards each other. I fell into his embrace, nearly knocking him over, as his arms circling around me while he buried his face in my hairline. Noah completely broke down when my hands spread over his large back, needing to feel the heat of him. I cried into his shirt as my fists grasped the back of it. We stayed like that for so long, until neither of us could cry anymore, and his raw voice spoke in a hushed tone.

"He can't-." The words died on his lips as he choked on a broken sob.

Still in his embrace, I rested my chin on his chest as I looked up at him. "I just talked to him earlier this week."

Noah tensed in my arms for the briefest of moments. "Me too."

I rested my cheek to his chest again letting the beat of his heart calm my own. One had was running fingers through the long strands of my hair while the other grasped at my lower back. This pain was unknown; I'd never lost someone so close to me like this before. I didn't know the correct way to grief but knowing that Noah was going through the same thing made it a little easier.

"Kenneth said the funeral is on Friday," Noah's chest rumbled.

I looked up at him again with my arms still wrapped around him. "What do you want to do?"

Noah swallowed the large lump in his throat, doing his best to hold back his tears. "I need to go."

"Alright. I'll book us two tickets to Kentucky. I'm sure Ethan and Matt will understand if we need to cancel the next show."

"You're coming with me?" He asked, almost shocked. "What about-?"

I gently touched his cheek. "I'm not letting you deal with this on your own, Noah. Keaton was my friend too. I'm going."

With a relief sigh, he brushed his lips through my hairline, pressing the softest of kisses there and even though I forced the butterflies deep down to the pits of my stomach, I couldn't stop the small smile that pulled at my lips.

"Thank you, angel."

Hoping out of the bathroom on one foot, I balanced while strapping on one heel before switching feet to do the same to the other. I straightened out and brushed away the stray hairs on my black dress before turning my attention to Noah, who was standing in front of the mirror in the room, staring at himself.

"I'm almost ready to go. I just need to find my jacket," I said as I rummaged through my suitcase.

He didn't say a word, just kept staring absentmindedly at his reflection and although he was already dressed in a pair of black skinny jeans and a black button him, something was missing from his outfit; the grey tie that hung loose from his fingers.

We arrived to the hotel in Lexington earlier this morning and almost immediately, Noah shut himself in the bathroom to get ready. I checked in on him after a while when I realized the shower was running for some time and when he called back. 'I'm alright, angel' I let him be. Noah needed time to heal and mentally prepare himself for today. I didn't want to add any extra pressure that wasn't necessary. Thankfully, both Matt and Ethan were more than alright with us taking two days off to come to Keaton's funeral. We ended up having to cancel tonight's show but once news broke online of Keaton's passing; the fans understood.

After the first initial shock of finding out about Keaton, Noah shut down. He's barely said anything to me or the guys since the other night and Nick stressed to me before we left I needed to make sure Noah didn't retreat into himself.

"He hasn't had an anxiety attack in some time but I'm afraid that with the weight of everything, it might cause him to spiral."

I promised Nick with a bone-crushing hug that I'd keep an extra eye on Noah.

Noah was already so far in his head that when we walked into the hotel room to see only one bed, he merely shrugged before shutting himself in the bathroom.

"Hey," I said softly while resting a hand on his back. "What's going on in your mind?"

He tore his gaze away from the mirror and held up his tie. "I don't know how to tie a tie."

"Here," I smiled while taking it from his hands and popped the collar of his shirt so I could slide it around his neck.

We stood in silence as I worked on tying it and Noah stared straight over my head. Our breathing was the only thing heard in the room as my eyes traveled away from the tie to the tattoo's on his neck and I bit the inside of my cheek when the urge to lick it filled me.

"Yes, it hurt."

Noah's deep voice broke me out of the trance over tracing over the design of snake, apple, and hand.

"Hm?" I peered up at him, fingers finishing the knot in his tie.

"The tattoo, it hurt. You were staring at it so I figured you were about to ask me that," he said.

The brightness of his dark eyes dulled the night we found out about Keaton and part of me worried it would never return.

"Yeah," I murmured, even though that wasn't what I was thinking about. "Well, I'm done."

Noah smiled a thanks before he grabbed his jacket off the chair in the room and slid it on. Next came the rings and bracelets and if it was a different circumstance, I would marvel at how attractive his fingers were.

I stared at him for a long moment as he stood in front of me, now fully dressed.

"What?," he asked.

I bit my lip nervously, unsure how he would answer my question. "Could I brush your hair? I can fix it so it stays out of your face today. If not, it's not a big deal. I just thought maybe-."

For the first time in a few days, Noah smiled just the slightest and handed me a brush from his bag. "Promise you won't braid it?"

"I won't," I chuckled while motioning for him to sit on the edge of the bed.

He did, and I kneeled behind him to run the brush through his hair. It dried weird after his shower and kind of a mess around his face. I figured it would bother him today, so that's why I offered; not because I wanted to take care of him anyway I could.

From the mirror in front of us, I watched as Noah's eyes shut and a pure look of bliss crossed his features. The hard lines in his forehead eased and the darkness underneath his eyes lightened just from this simple action.

"You don't have to carry everything on your shoulders, Noah," I whispered as I set the brush down on the bed but remained kneeling behind him.

My hands rested on his shoulders as I stared at him through the mirror. His eyes met mine in a dull way but there was just enough spark of life that eased the grip around my heart.

"I know, angel," he nodded while grasping my hand, giving it a squeeze.

When he stood to his feet, my hands fell from him and I couldn't lie I missed the way his strong muscles felt under my fingers.

"Ready?" I asked once I had my jacket and bag on.

"No, but I don't have a choice. I have to say goodbye," Noah ran a hand over his somber face.

It truly worried me if he'd be able to make it through the day without showing some kind of emotion.

Instead of dwelling on it, I extended my hand towards him. "Come on. Let's go say goodbye to our friend then."

The warmth from his hand as his fingers intertwined with mine made my heart flutter in my chest and he reassured me he was in fact fine with a gentle squeeze.

"I'll call you guys once the tour is over and all of us can get together for a dinner for Keaton," I smiled weakly to Kenneth.

"He'd want that," he smiled.

I wiped away a few tears before nodding. "Yea."

Mason motioned behind me. "How's he doing?"

Turning on my heels, I took in the broken sight of Noah who was sitting on a stone wall in the cemetery, pure grief on his face. The funeral wasn't easy for any of us but for Noah, it nearly brought him to his knees; if it wasn't for me.

My arm hooked through Noah's as I rested my head on his shoulder, the both of us staring down at the now filled grave. People has dispersed by now, going to the wake, but Noah wasn't ready to leave. He wanted to stay for a few minutes to say something to Keaton. But the longer we stayed in this position, I realized maybe he couldn't find the words to say.

I rested my chin on his arm while looking to the side of his face but the strands of his hair covered what I wanted to see the most so I brushed it behind his ear. "He knows, Noah."

A muscle in his jaw ticked. "It's not fair."

With a long sigh, I rested my head against his shoulder once more and looked at our friend's grave. "I know."

"Yeah, he will be. Might take some time but I'll make sure of it."

Saying goodbye to Kenneth and Mason, I walked over to Noah who slowly stood when he noticed me.

"Ready?" He asked.

"Yeah," I nodded.

I planned on walking next to him but when he extended his hand towards me, my heart did the same stuttered it always did when around him. So with our hands intertwined, our hearts seemed to slowly be, I let him lead me towards the rental car.

"Are you hungry?" Noah asked.

"I could eat," I shrugged.

Once we reached the car, he opened the passenger door for me and helped me into the seat.

"Noah, I can get in the car by myself," I giggled when he even clicked the seatbelt over me.

We were so close and I could feel his warm breath cascade over my lips as I tilted up towards him, almost closing the distance. It was the same pull, only this time it was stronger, the energy vibrating in our veins. Noah leaned closer but when my phone rang loudly from my purse, he pulled away while clearing his throat.

"You should get that," he said before shutting the door.

Trey's name flashed across the screen and with a grumble, I ignored it and sent a quick four word text to the group chat me, Malcolm, and Chase had.

Going dark. We're okay.

Once my phone was shut off, I leaned back into the seat as Noah started the car and drove away from the cemetery. Trey had been calling almost every hour since I left early this morning and it was getting to where I nearly chucked my phone out the window. He wasn't happy I was coming here, especially with Noah, but I told him to go fuck himself; he couldn't tell me what to do.

Not anymore.

"Shower's open," I said while walking out of the bathroom, dressed in a pair of sleep shorts and a hoodie.

Noah sat perched on the edge of the bed still wearing his clothes from the funeral, and rested his elbows on his knees. When he heard me walk into the room, he quickly wiped away tears and cleared his throat.

"Okay," he kept his gaze cast downward to the carpet of the room.

Shit, he was crying.

Then I realized, a soft tune was filling the room and felt my shoulders fall; Keaton's voice grazed my ears as Too Close To Touch played through the bluetooth speaker Noah brought.

"Noah," I said gently while sitting next to him. "Please don't hide this from me."

"Angel," he warned but any malice behind his voice was deadweight.

He was exhausted and couldn't fight, as much as he wanted too.

I brushed my fingers over his face to tilt his chin towards me and sucked in a breath when I saw how red and swollen his eyes were. Not saying another word, I brought him down to my chest while his hands immediately grasped at my sweater, holding on for dear life as if he was afraid the grief would rip apart from me and drag him deep into the dark abyss.

Noah's cries tangled with Keaton's voice as I let his tears stain my sweater, his body shaking in my embrace. I brushed the air back from his face so he didn't have to worry about it sticking to his face with the tears.

"I fucking miss him, angel. It's not fair."

I blinked away my own tears. "I know. But he's still with us in everything we do. We have pictures and messages from him to remember, we have his music."

Noah sucked in a large breath, burying his face deeper into me. "I can't believe he's fucking gone. I can't. I've lost so many people-so many. I just-. I'll miss him so fucking much."

I rested my head on top of his. "Me too."

He pulled his head away from my chest and I raised my hand to brush away his tears, one hanging on by a thread on his eyelash.

"If I'm being honest," he took a breath to steady himself. "Sitting here with you tonight has also hit me like a train."

Another pause as he exhaled the breath, body shaking with nerves or grief, I wasn't sure.

"I can't lose anyone else. I can't." Noah shook his head. "I don't-I-want-"

"Hey," I cupped his cheek, thumb brushing over the tear that hung on his eyelash. "I'm right here."

His eyes twinkled with the wetness from his tears. "I don't want to fucking lose you, angel. No matter what; I can't. I won't."

"You won't," I repeated his words back to him with my promise, tears falling from my eyes down to his lap.

After the tears were shed and Noah felt a little lighter, he went into the bathroom to change into a pair of sweats and a shirt, throwing his hair up with a claw clip. I'd made myself comfortable leaning against the headboard and Noah followed, sitting right next to me. We continued listening to Too Close To Touch, almost in a way to honor his memory. Noah's knee brushed against mine but I didn't bother to move away from him; his body heat wrapped around me like a blanket and I reveled in feeling this sense of peace in so long.

A deep yawn fell from my lips, and when I gazed at the clock, I nearly groaned. It was only four in the afternoon but with all the emotional trauma we went through today; I was ready for bed.

"Here," Noah extended his legs on the bed and patted his lap. "Lay down. You should get some rest, angel."

I hesitated. "Are you sure? We never even talked about the sleeping situation. I can go lay on the couch."

Noah rolled his eyes with a hint of a smile. "We're two grown adults, we can share the same bed. I'll even put up a wall of pillows if that makes you comfortable."

"No, you don't have to do that," I giggled. "But I definitely will take you up on that offer of laying my head in your lap."

Something dark flashed in his eyes and his bottom lip caught between his teeth. "Go for it."

Ignoring the way my core clenched with the image of me doing other things in his lap, I rested my head against his thigh and almost mewled in pleasure when his long fingers ran through my hair, nails scratching lightly across my scalp.

"Is this alright?"

I nodded. "More than alright. If you keep doing this, I'll fall asleep."

Noah hummed. "That's the plan, angel."

"How can you say this was all part of your plan? Start explaining. Crafted from hope and hospital beds, she's gone."

"No," I trembled. "Not this one."

Out of all the songs, this one was the one I did not want to hear tonight; Eiley.

"It hits differently now, huh?" Noah noted.

"Yea, it does."

With the music and Noah's soft fingers through my hair, I dozed off only to awake sometime later when I felt intense eyes staring down at me. I opened my eyes in a daze and looked up to see dark eyes watching me, tracking my every movement as my lips parted in breath. His expression was something I'd never seen before; blank, lips drawn in a straight line, and his brown eyes blown dark.

I opened my eyes wider and his face lit up with a small grin.

"Hi, angel."

"Hi," I whispered.

Noah gently put his hand on my cheek to scan my face once more, almost waiting for a reaction. I met his intense gaze with my own and felt the intensity from the pull that seemed to be connected by our hearts pull me down so deep to the abyss that was Noah Sebastian and for the first time; I didn't ignore it.

I almost expected his kiss. It's always been right there between us, waiting hungrily. What I didn't expect, however, was his hands so rough, to hold my face tenderly. I didn't expect the furrow of his brows as his eyes darted from mine to my lips, almost in a silent question.

Please.

As the earth stood still, gravity nonexistent, Noah laid his lips to mine, kissing me softly, slowly. Everything around us blurring and disappearing. My fingers grasped his wrist to keep from slipping away from how light I felt with his lips on mine, gasping into his mouth at the sensation that came roaring to life inside of me.

A match lit in a dark room, flaring with brilliant light. My lips parted with that gasp to let Noah slip his tongue past mine, and then fight for dominance until eventually, he won.

He tasted fucking heavenly and when a low growl crawled from the back of his throat; I knew Noah thought the same for me.

"Fuck," I rushed out suddenly, sitting up from his lap in a start. "Oh my god, I am so sorry."

Noah raised his tattoo hand and gently cupped my cheek, his thumb grazing over my kiss-swollen lips. "Fuck, no I'm sorry angel. I shouldn't have."

He leaned in close so he could whisper his apology into the air and all noise ceased to exist. There was this tension thick between us and suddenly, I was afraid that with what happened, things would get awkward between us. But Noah broke out in a light laughter one that eased the erratic beat of my heart. I soon followed, both of us laughing away the tension.

"Nick let me bring the Super Nintendo. Want to play a few rounds?" Noah smirked.

I scoffed playfully. "Your ass is grass and I'm going to mow it."

Noah, who was still chuckling and out of breath, stood from the bed to get the game set up. "Whatever you say, angel."

Some people might think laughing and going to playing a video game right after an intense kiss like that was not normal but for Noah and I, none of this was normal. I appreciated he could tell the tension was too thick I couldn't catch my breath, so he immediately made the atmosphere breathable again, the only way he knew how, with blushing cheeks, familiar scars, and electric hearts.

#noah sebastian #noah sebastian and reader #noah sebastian x reader #noah sebastian reader insert #noah sebastian smut #enemies to lovers #right person wrong time #starcrossed lovers

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ch0k3herwithaseaview · 8 months ago

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@jegulus-microfic | march 27 birthday | words: 780

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY BABY!!! i had fun writing this one so i hope y’all have fun reading;3

tw: walburga appears, suicidal tendencies (it’s brief and probably not many of you will think of it that way but still)

Regulus wasn't the type to make grand romantic gestures; it was always James.

For example, when he took Regulus on their first date—not just a meeting in the middle of the night at the Astronomy Tower, but a real date—James’ found this beautiful meadow in the Forbidden Forest, near the Black Lake. Regulus thinks it must have taken the other boy at least half a day to get the place ready, because when they arrived, there were Christmas lights hanging in the trees, a record player was standing next to one of them, quietly playing some Elvis song, and in the middle there was a warm-looking blanket with candles, flowers, steaming food, fruit, and something that looked like a bottle of elvish wine. It is safe to say Regulus was in complete awe.

The other time was just a few weeks later, when it was Regulus’ birthday. James did not buy it, but he made him a little crooked silver ring with antlers engraved on it. When the younger boy asked how exactly he did it, James just shrugged and said, ‘Dad thought me’ like it was the most obvious answer in the world. And, okay, they were wizards, so it wasn��t the hardest thing for them to transfigure something into something else, but when Regulus later tried to reverse any spells cast on the ring, nothing happened, which meant not only did James make it himself, but he also made it without any magic. What a guy, that one.

When James and Sirius came to Grimmauld one night that summer to rescue Regulus and Walburga caught them, threatening to kill all three boys, Potter straightened up, holding his wand out in front of her confidently.

"Leave them alone; if you want to kill someone, try me." As he said this, the woman raised her hand to cast the killing curse, but James was faster; with one smooth gesture, he had her stunned and bound. After they disapparated, landing in Potter Manor, both Blacks started shouting at him for his recklessness and stupidity, while they hugged him tight.

Regulus could talk about every amazing thing James did to prove his love for hours—there were so many. But when it came to his own grand gestures, the list ended at one: when he sent Avery and Mulciber to the Hospital Wing with the skin melted off of their faces after throwing two Bludgers at James at the same time. So, he made exactly zero romantic gestures for almost a whole year of dating James.

Fortunately, the 27th of March was approaching, and with it, his boyfriend’s birthday.

On Friday morning, while the whole Great Hall was having a rather loud breakfast, Regulus scanned the Gryffindor’s table to find—aha!

Spotting that bright smile on the other side, Regulus pulled out the big box he had hidden beneath the bench and sent it flying through the whole room with one flick of a wand. Everyone was looking at it in almost complete silence, waiting in anticipation to see where it would land. Regulus stole one glance in the direction it was going and noticed three different expressions: James looked like he would burst out crying any second, Sirius' face twisted into something between admiration and disgust, and Remus and Peter looked like one was having the time of his life and the other was about to choke from laughing.

As the package landed carefully in James’ laps, everyone went so quiet you could hear a fly buzzing. The Gryffindor opened the box with shaky hands, looking right back up when he saw what was inside. His mouth kept opening and closing while looking at Regulus. The whole student body turned to look at him, but his eyes were trained on James’. Still to this day, Regulus has no idea what got into him at that moment, but he stood up and strode to James with a smug expression.

Reaching the birthday boy, Regulus leaned forward, took his face in his hands, and kissed him softly on the lips; James immediately reciprocated. The kiss was nothing like what they shared in the broom cupboards, in the Come-and-Go Room, or even at the Astronomy Tower; this one was the best of all of them—slow, sweet, and, oh, so full of love.

When they parted, Regulus could finally hear the whispers echoing throughout the room, making it seem as if someone had locked him in a hive. He didn’t care. All he cared for was the handsome man in his hands.

“Joyeux dix-huitième anniversaire, amour de ma vie,” Regulus whispered against James’ lips, feeling the other smiling broadly. Yeah, he thought, this one counts as romantic.

translation: happy eighteenth birthday, love of my life

#jegulus #dead gay wizards #starchaser #james potter #james x regulus #regulus black #jegulus microfic #marauders #the marauders #hogwarts #HAPPY BIRTHDAY JAMES #by: allyeardepression #1k words or less #march 27 #hogwarts au #fluff

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lovelytsunoda · 2 years ago

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twelve fractures // pierre gasly

summary: the four times that y/n leclerc almost called pierre gasly, and the one time that he gave in and called her

tell me, if I were to smile now, in the dead of the dark, would it even exist? i fantasize about those nights you sewed your lips to mine there were shortcuts into heaven through your eyes

pairing: pierre gasly x leclerc! reader ( brother's best friend ).

warnings: age gap ( reader is arthur's twin, which makes her 22 and pierre is 27 ), loss of virginity via a one night stand with pierre, hella angst, pierre is a little toxic at a few points in here. consumption of alchohol. descriptions of and allusions to sex. mentions of ferrari struggling in 2022. lots of miscommunication.

authors note: i hope you guys are ready for pain bc i think this one might hurt y'all a bit.

the first call.

she sat at the booth in the corner, her phone case warm against her hand as she stared numbly at the contact in front of her.

pierre 🍐. the contact photo was of the two of them when they were kids. the gaslys had always been family friends of hers, they grew up together.

so falling in love with him should have been inevitable.

y/n leclerc reached for her tumbler again, downing the last of her third glass of the night. she was well and truly drunk, and she was counting down the minutes until she was drunk enough to call pierre gasly and say all the things she wished that she had told him sooner.

tell him that she was sorry for making shit weird after that night in japan.

"what are you doing moping in the corner?"

she looked up from her phone, frowning at her twin brother as arthur leclerc slid into the booth next to her.

"the fuck do you care? you got into formula two, you should be celebrating."

y/n had never been the athletically inclined sibling. arthur and charles were thriving in motorsports. nobody was quite sure what lorenzo was doing but it seemed to be working for him. y/n just had half a draft of a manuscript sitting on her laptop that she was too scared to finish.

because she never finished anything. never saw it through.

"come on, y/n. you know that i can tell when something is wrong. how much have you had to drink?" arthur frowned, pushing the empty glass away as y/n shut off her phone, hoping that her brother wouldn't notice who she was about to call.

"can we leave, arthur? are you sober enough to drive me home?" her voice was quiet, broken as she looked over to where arthur should have been celebrating with the other prema drivers.

this had never been her world. what happened after japan should have just proven that.

a flash of panic shot through arthur's veins. "are you okay?"

"not really." she didn't trust herself not to cry. "just take me home, arthur."

once she was safely inside arthur's ferrari, her first tear began to fall, dragging a thick mascara trail down her porcelain cheek as she rested her head against the window, the grease from her hair staining the window.

"i hoped that if i got drunk enough, i'd finally have the guts to call him." she said quietly, the radio humming softly in the background with the kind of song she would have hated if arthur hadn't liked it so much.

"call who?" arthur asked, stopping at a traffic light and reaching for his sister's hand.

"pierre. things haven't been right between us for a long time."

arthur frowned, but he didn't say anything. he wasn't sure if there was anything for him to say. he never had been the sibling who dealt with emotions the best. that had always been lorenzo's job.

"i gave him everything, arthur. my time, my energy." she paused, covering her mouth as she felt a sob wrack her body, mascara tears dropping onto her fingers. "my virginity." she managed to cough out. "and he's been avoiding me ever since."

arthur paused, stopping the car in the shoulder of the empty monte carlo street, flicking on his hazard lights before he undid his seatbelt and leaned over the console to wrap his baby sister in his arms.

they may have been twins, but arthur was born exactly three minutes and forty-five seconds first, making him the older brother by default, and that was a job that he took very seriously.

he knew the weight of that statement more than he should have. while arthur and charles, and god, even lorenzo, had been sexually adventurous from the moment they turned sixteen, their sister didn't see life like that. she had barely even dated. she hadn't gone on her first date until she was nineteen years old, and there had only been three dates with him before she got scared and broke it off.

arthur knew how big a deal it was that she had felt comfortable enough with someone to give up that part of herself, to feel that vulnerable.

"when did that happen?"

"suzuka." she swallowed, reaching into the glove compartment for a box of tissues. "and it's not that i didn't enjoy it..."

"he didn't know he was your first, did he?" arthur said softly, tracing circles on his sister's shoulder as he held her. "let me guess, you got scared, and you shut down. maybe he was too rough with you for your first time. i was always scared that this would happen, i just never thought it would be with pierre gasly of all people."

"except i wasn't the one who stopped all contact when things got weird. that was all him, arthur. he was gone by morning and things haven't felt right since."

she sat there in arthur's arms, the hazard lights on the cherry red ferrari blinking in the dark night air as she thought about japan. how distraught pierre had been after the race, when he called her and said that he didn't want to be alone. she had shown up with a box of pizza and a case of japanese beer.

she thought about how she had ended up with his lips on hers, her bra thrown over a lamp. her fists clenching the sheets as pierre took her from behind, moaning his name until her throat was dry and her voice was hoarse. how aroused she had been when his large hands spanked her, leaving a red mark on her ass.

how the bed had been cold and empty when she woke up the next morning, pierre gasly's arms no longer around her.

she wasn't quite sure if she had been okay since.

the second call.

she had finally done it. taking the pain she felt after what happened with pierre, she hunkered down with her laptop and she finished her manuscript. every emotion, every shred of anger had been poured out on the pages, the words written in times new roman scribbled across the page.

and now, she was standing in the middle of waterstones, in the middle of london, stacks upon stacks of her book surrounding her.

and with the phone in her hand, her thumb itched to press the 'call' button next to pierre's name. he had been the number one supporter of her novel when she started writing. he had wanted an advance readers copy signed sealed and delivered to his apartment in milan.

she'd been watching the doors all night, hoping that he would walk in.

and she hated herself for being disappointed when he didn't.

his name had made it into the acknowledgments. trying to keep her brothers' careers separate from her own, all her acknowledgments had been done with initials. CL. PG. AL.

"you should be enjoying your party, y/n. is everything okay?" charles asked softly, passing her a glass of champagne. "you're waiting for pierre, aren't you?"

y/n coughed, trying not to let on to her older brother that he was right. "who told you?"

"arthur. you know that he can't keep a secret for shit."

"i didn't want you to know, charles. he's your best friend. i feel like i'm forcing you to choose sides."

charles shook his head, pulling his sister in for a hug, despite her protests. "there aren't any sides to choose, y/n. he's always going to be my best friend, but you're my sister. and the way he's been acting is unreasonable. in fact, if he had the nerve to show up tonight, we'd probably both end up in the drunk tank."

“but he should be here, charles. I probably wouldn’t have ever entertained this fucking fever dream without him.” she said quietly, resting her face on her brothers shoulder. “I don’t know what to do. I want him back, even if he doesn’t want me. why can’t I move on?”

"it's okay, y/n. it's okay." charles soothed, smoothing out his baby sister's hair. "being emotional is a strength, kiddo. one day, you're going to find someone who loves you back the same way that you love them. and if he hurts you, i'll break his knees."

y/n chuckled. "all you would need to do is put him in the car with mattia on the radio."

charles groaned. "don't even start! i'd break my own knees if it meant our strategy team pulled their shit together."

the third call.

the sun was setting over the sand and the palm trees in abu dhabi as y/n and her brother sat in the paddock, drink glasses in hand, sunglasses pulled over eyes. the paddock in abu dhabi had always been one of her favourites.

the last few months had been good to her. her book had made it onto the new york times' bestseller list, and she was trending on booktok. she had gone out with her high school best friend, taking a week in austria to just exist without expectations.

she finally felt like she was in a good headspace. her stomach didn't hurt when she thought about pierre gasly, and she didn't feel like crying when she thought about suzuka.

she was finally okay.

she looked out from the patio of ferrari's hospitality suite, her sunglasses on her forehead and her skin toned pink from the sunset, and that's when she saw him.

pierre gasly was walking through the paddock, his snapback on backwards and the top three buttons on his linen shirt undone. he looked every bit as good as he had when he was leaning over her, the metal of his cross necklace cool against her breasts as he kissed her.

"y/n." lorenzo said softly, poking her in the shoulder. "try not to think about it. you've made so much progress, don't let it all come undone now."

but she was in a much better place. now, instead of sobbing or yelling down the phone, she felt ready to have a proper conversation with the man who took every part of her and shattered it when he waited until she was asleep to slip out of the hotel suite.

she went inside the cherry-red building, ordering a hot chocolate before pulling her phone out of her back pocket and circling back to that same damn contact.

pierre 🍐.

and this time, she called him.

and he didn't answer.

even though it shouldn't, it stung.

she hung up without leaving a message.

the fourth call.

it was christmas eve, snowflakes falling past the windows of pascale leclerc's monaco home. all of her children were gathered in the living room, the lights on the christmas tree dialed up to full intensity as charles filled the small glasses with eggnog. in the living room, lorenzo and arthur were already buzzed, singing 'fairytale of new york' at the top of their lungs, arms over shoulders.

"charles, let me help." y/n insisted with a chuckle, taking two of the glasses from her older brother.

"i've got it, y/n." charles insisted. "go have fun with arthur and lorenzo!"

y/n snorted. "they're drunk, singing christmas carols at the top of their lungs. i think i'll take a hard pass on that one."

charles laughed. "fair enough. okay, you take three glasses and i'll take three, meet you in the living room?"

"sounds fair."

charles took the first few glasses and slipped out of the kitchen, leaving the last three on the island for y/n to take. as she reached for the first glass, her phone, which was sitting facedown on the counter, buzzed twice.

pierre 🍐: merry christmas y/n! sending my love to you and the family.

her heart skipped a beat as she read the message. the first communication with any feeling since that night in japan.

y/n: merry christmas pierre. can we talk?

she should have waited for him to text her back before she called him. the dial tone rang once before she was forwarded to his voicemail, the iphone buzzing again in her palm.

pierre 🍐: i can't talk right now, y/n. i'm with my family.

fucking fine, then.

she shut her phone off, grabbing one of the small glasses of eggnog and downing it in one gulp.

and the time that he called her.

it was saturday night in bahrain when pierre finally called her. he'd screwed up in qualifying with his new team, and he would be setting up at the very back of the grid the following day for the race.

she was already halfway back to her rental car when pierre called her, the keys to her bmw dangling from her fingers.

"we need to talk. there are some things i need to tell you."

"that's an ominous way to start a phone call, gasly."

"now isn't the time for jokes, y/n. i'm serious, we need to talk about suzuka."

"why now, pierre?"

"because i hurt you, and i'm sorry. charles told me what's going on with you."

charles marc herve perceval leclerc, you son of a bitch.

"fine. you can buy me dinner while you're at it."

the air was icy in the restaurant as pierre and y/n sat in the corner booth. neither wanted to be the one to speak first. drinks had been ordered and delivered while y/n worked out what she wanted to say to him.

how hurt she really was.

"y/n." pierre started slowly. "i'm so sorry about japan, and everything that happened after. i was acting like a jerk, and i shouldn't have shut you out like that."

"so why did you, gasly?" y/n said softly, picking at the pasta dish in front of her.

"i didn't leave you in bed that morning. i went to buy us coffee. i swear i left you a note on the bedside table. you were exhausted and," he hesitated. "when we were lying in bed together, you mumbled something as you were falling asleep, i don't even think you knew what you were saying. but you said 'that's one hell of a way to lose your v-card'. knowing that i treated you like that for your very first time, that i was the first person to have touched you like that. . . i don't know, i think a part of me was ashamed."

"i didn't see a note, pierre. there was nothing on the bedside table when i woke up. just think about how i felt for a minute, would you?" y/n scoffed. "i got vulnerable with you, i let you do things to me that no man had ever done before. i let you spank me, for god's sake!"

"keep your voice down!" pierre hissed, overtly conscious about the eyes on him throughout the resteraunt.

there were some things that the general public just didn't want, or need, to hear.

"and you never thought to call? never thought to check in with me later?"

pierre shook his head. "when i got back, the note was under the bed. i wasn't sure if you had read it and cast it aside, or if it had gotten blown off the table by the door or something. i just assumed that you didn't want to talk to me again."

"and then i texted you at christmas."

"and then you texted me at christmas." pierre nodded. "can we start over, y/n? i really like you, and it kills me to know that i fucked up."

y/n reached over the table, taking his hand in hers. "we really are shit at communicating, aren't we?"

pierre laughed. "so i've been told."

y/n laughed, withdrawing her hand. "hi, i'm y/n leclerc, nice to meet you."

pierre smiled. "what are you doing?"

"starting over."

"hi, y/n. i'm pierre. it's lovely to meet you too."

#pierre gasly #pierre gasly x reader #f1 x reader #f1 imagine #alpine f1 #pierre gasly x y/n #Spotify

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wrinkly-fucking-qtip · 9 months ago

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i am neutral towards galladads (more so...towards no), but every so often i tangle with my personal takes (or what i'd love to see) and i wanna share. strap in, it's long. pt. 1

Ian doesn't push the thought of kids. They had a conversation about it after s11x12, but it took some time, it wasn't immediate. Basically, I think Ian relished the idea of being an uncle for a while. After all, it's always Mickey before anything.

They took care of Franny, Freddie (+upcoming kiddo), and Liam when they were asked to as favors. It subconsciously became this mental practice for them. Some unspoken tension kept rising, cause they felt the other was thinking the same thing but went unmentioned. Partially cause Ian decided not to press, and doing so meant breaking that threshold.

I think Mickey brought it up one day probably, Ian felt somewhat defensive at first, but since he always reminds Mickey about the importance of "communication," it'd bite him in the ass, so he gave in and spoke his truth. They had another conversation about it that ended in an agreement to see a "shrink." They started going, it was a deconstruction of years of trauma, fears, repressed emotions, y'know the drill.

Considering that they were between 25-27 when the show ended, I think they engaged in "intense" therapy for like 5-7 years maybe. Trying to talk through the bulks of it, for the purpose of parenting in the near future.

Through that time, they first contacted Debbie, had thoroughly researched artificial insemination (pls mickey thinking he would have to bang Debbie makes me cry 💀), had a lengthy talk with her. I haven't reached shameless far enough to know Debbie's character, but I think she probably gives them informed advice, a lot of "you guys sure you wanna do this??" And I don't think it stems from a place of objection, more so worry. I like to think she eventually caves in and accepts to help them when they're ready. She loves Ian, Ian loves Franny and Debbie (fuck JW for making it seem like he doesn't in s11) and Mickey and Debbie are besties.

(this is a huge reach but I ponder nonetheless) After thinking of Debbie, I think maybe Ian thinks of Mandy. I fully believe (like many other people) that Ian kept in touch with Mandy from time to time ever since she left, and at some point encouraged her and Mickey to reconnect. It's a slow process, but he knows both of them needed it and yearned for it deep down.

He breaks the news to her that they're gonna be parents at some point, sort of fills her in on the process and the years of therapy, gets Mickey to tell her anecdotes too or whatever. The thing is, at some point in the conversation, he yaps about how he has always wanted two, a boy and a girl (because Ian is a dork like that). That Debbie is only gonna do this once for now because...well that was the agreement, ofc, and he just doesn't wanna overwhelm Mick with two kids of their own even though that's what they practically baby sit.

Jokingly (at first), Mandy offers herself as a surrogate in case they aim for another kid. Ian sheepishly declines, that he couldn't ask her after everything she's been through, but Mandy reassures him that shit is different now. Times have changed, and that even though it's a big deal, she'd comply. Ian says he'll think about it, talk with Mick in case shit does happen as to not spook him. It was a pleasant talk.

He talks to Mickey and at first he doesn't know how to handle the thought of two kids, one of them from Mandy, and he almost feels like all this time in therapy could crumble down at the thought of Mandy being a surrogate. They have a long ass talk.

At the end Mickey affirms that he is open to the responsibility of two kids. The whole thing goes like Ian telling him he doesn't have to do this, that he's fine with just one and that he doesn't have to comply just because Ian would love two kids, and Mickey being like "all these years and you still don't get it through your thick skull that you ain't making me do anything I don't want to" (affectionately ofc). He reassures Ian that if he's making these decisions with him it's because he wants to, and he admits he owes a lot of it to that "shrink" they go to he's come to appreciate. It was a lovely conversation tbh and many fears and goals were shared between them.

#shameless #gallavich #ian and mickey #ian gallagher #mickey milkovich #shameless us #gallavich headcanons #galladads #post canon #they'll be good dads #lots of therapy #but they'll pull through #ian x mickey #fluff #shameless s11 e12 #s11e12 #you're gonna be a great dad #gallavich meta

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softstarlite · 1 year ago

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The Casualty of Love

CHAPTER 2

Summary: He's back home. You have almost forgotten how warm his eyes were and how big your crush for him was.

Warnings: Age gap (Javier is 40 and reader is 27), talks of baby loss, talks of pregnancy, angst, cheating, mentions of cancer, mentions of death.

Rating: +18 (not explicit)

Word Count: 2.9k

Chapter 1 / Masterlist

A/N: here you go guys!! Second chapter is up!! I'm feeling so much better from my stupid cold. I would like to keep a schedule with posting, my goal is to post at least one new chapter every week but I had a cornea transplant less than 5 months ago (I still have 14 stitches on my right eye) so sometimes I need to rest my eye from screen time or the pain sometimes gets too bad and I need to rest in general, so I don't know if I'll be able to meet my goal every week, sorry in advance. I hope you guys like this new chapter!! <3 <3

Divider by @saradika

Javier wipes the sweat of his hands on the front of his jeans for the fourth time in the last hour since he started getting ready to go to Maria´s house, he looks at his reflection on the mirror, he can feel fear engulf his body, fear of disappointing Maria, he wasn't the same man he was when he left for Colombia. That day…

His mom, Alma, had been diagnosed with lung cancer four months before it happened, when Lorraine had told him that she was pregnant, he was shit scared, how could he be a father? He didn't know anything about being one, he was only 27, he assumed that he had at least 5 or 6 years more before even thinking about having a family of his own.

He didn't hesitate to get on one knee and proposed to Lorraine, part of him was happy that his mom would be able to meet at least one of her grandchildren; the doctors had already prepare them for the worst, the cancer was very aggressive, and even if his mom was still young, only 44, they had detected it very late.

The night before the wedding Lorraine showed up at his parents ranch, crying her heart out. They were sleeping in different houses since it was bad luck to see each other before the wedding. He got really worried, he didn't believe in that tradition, she had been the one very keen in doing it so it was already rare that she had showed up there unannounced but even more that she showed up crying.

“Lor? What happened?” he had been sitting on the front porch when she appeared, he got up from his seat quickly and headed to her putting his hands on her cheeks “What is it Lor? Is the baby okay?” he asked her with so much worry in his voice.

Lorraine only kept saying sorry and shaking her head no again and again. “Please baby, tell me what is happening, are you hurt?” he pleaded her.

“I'm sorry Javi… I'm so sorry… There´s no baby…” she said, not able to meet his gaze.

“What? Baby…” he could feel tears in his eyes already, he thought that she had lost it, he never would've thought that she had done what she did. He tries to make her look at him ¡. “Baby…Lor, look at me. Baby it's not your fault, we need to take you-” he was interrupted by her.

“No, Javi… There's no baby, there never has been a baby…” she took a step away from him, feeling shame in what she had done.

“What? Lorraine, this is not funny… Stop it” that was the only possibility in his head, she must have been pranking him, she would never hurt him this way, she loved him, right?

“I'm so sorry Javi, baby…” she tried to reach for him now but he didn't say anything and just walked inside without a word.

The next morning no one could find Javier, until his mom saw a little note on the kitchen table where he had written that he had accepted the job with the DEA in Colombia that the rest could be explained by Lorraine.

You were only 14 when you were sat down by your mom and Alma and got the news about her sickness, that was your first heartbreak, but definitely not your last. You loved Alma like a second mother, she was there when you said your first words, she had been the one encouraging you when you took your first steps… You couldn't imagine a life and a world without her, without her smile or her kindness… No, it had to be a mistake, the doctors mixed up some papers and they gave her the diagnosis of someone else, she couldn't leave you…

When Javier left, you weren't given the real reason from the adults around you, they told you that he and Lorraine weren't together anymore and he had to go work in Colombia, that was it. Obviously, living in a place like Laredo you heard the truth very soon, and felt heartbroken all over again for him, as big as your crush for him was, when you saw how excited he was when he talked about anything related with the baby in the weekly dinners your families shared, it filled your heart to see him just happy, so you couldn't understand how Lorraine had been able to break him like that, she said that he loved him and wanted to spend her entire life with him but then do that? How can you be so cruel to someone that you supposedly love?

A year later from Javier´s move to Colombia, Alma passed away, you only remember crying for three days straight without even sleeping. You remember your mom telling you that “Javiercito is coming for the funeral, he'll be here tomorrow morning”, then the next thing you remember is been dressed in all black, that made you think that Alma would´ve hate it, then not been able to see the casket through the tears and the last thing you remember of that day was how Javier had put his arms around you, caressing your hair and telling you how much Alma loved you and that would never leave you. It never did, you could feel her love everyday, in little things like the chirping of the birds outside, the warm sun, the little desserts you would bake with her recipes, etc…

That was the last time you saw Javier, when you were 15 and crying for the biggest lost in your life.

He parks his truck on Maria´s driveway and gets out with a nervous sigh. After he knocks on the door twice, you open the door with a big smile, fuck, he thought you wouldn't be here. He didn't have a problem with you being here, on the contrary, he was very happy when he saw you the other day, it had been way too long without seeing you. But the problem was that you had grown up… And fuck, did the years had treat you amanzingly. You were a full on woman now, and he didn't like that, because it made his body feel things that it shouldn't. If Maria or his own father could read what had gone through his mind since he first saw you a few days ago, he would definitely be six feet under.

“Hey! You're here!” you say with that big smile on your face. He doesn't say anything, just nods and gives you a tight smile back.

“Come in!” you move a little to give him enough space to come inside. “Mom is still cooking what must be her twentieth dish” you chuckle. He slips inside but you hadn't anticipated how broad his shoulders were so he bumps one of his shoulders into you.

“Oh, sorry” he apologizes and you can't help but feel a million goosebumps all over your body. “She shouldn't have trouble herself…”

You shake the feeling away, you weren't a stupid teenager anymore. “yeah, tell that to her” you smirk knowing he would never dare.

He walks to the kitchen with you behind, he remembers the way as if no time has passed, as if he hadn't gone through more than a decade without putting a foot in this house. When he makes it past the arch of the kitchen, he sees your mom, her back facing him, he can see the grey conquering her whole hair. For a moment he can almost see his own mom beside her cutting some vegetables.

Seeing his silence, you decide to clear your throat to make your presence known to your mom. She turns around starting a sentence that sounds like a question about who was at the door, but as soon as she sees Javier there, before her, her mouth shuts and she freezes. Knowing they'll need a moment, you walk around them to the stove to continue to stir whatever dish your mom is making now, so it doesn't burn while they catch up.

“Javiercito!” she almost screams, launching herself into him, a hand on the back of his head and the other arm across his back.

“Maria…” is all that he can get out of his mouth, apart from the biggest breath out that he has ever let out. He didn't even know that he was holding that breath for so long.

“Déjame verte bien mijo (Let me get a good look at you, my son)” she pulls away from him and pushes him a little back by the shoulders, then looks him up and down like she was examining that he isn´t missing anything.

“Ma, esta bien, no le agobies (Mom, he's fine, don't bother him)” you say from the stove, not even looking at them.

“¿Bien? (fine?) Have you seen him? Está demasiado delgado, gracias a dios que prepare suficiente comida. Siéntate, mijo. (He's too skinny, thank god i´ve prepare enough food. Sit, my son) I'll bring you some food right away” She says, patting his cheek and signaling with a hand to the kitchen table, then she goes back to the stove and replaces the place you were filling.

You chuckle and shake your head in disbelief. “Do you want something to drink, Javi?” you ask him while opening the fridge to get a beer for yourself.

He talks again after feeling overwhelmed by the situation. “Sure, whatever you´re having” with that you pull out another beer for him and after uncapping them, you hand him one. “Thanks” he says, not meeting your eye.

You sit across from him on the kitchen table and take a sip of your own beer. Your mom puts a bowl of Pozole in front of each of you, and while you eat, she and Javier talk about a million things, how things around the house had been since your dad died, how you and her go to Chucho´s every now and then, how you help Chucho everytime the fruit trees need harvesting (which brings a blush to your cheeks when Javi asks if that's right and looks at you), and of course your mom starts to let Javi know about all the gossip he has missed in Laredo, which by his face, he couldn't care less to be honest but i guess your mom didn't want to pick that up. He just nods and hums while eating, while your mom tells him about how the girl from the Gonzalez´s was seen in the local theater every week casually talking and giggling with the guy working there; after a bit something pricks his ears, specifically when your name is mentioned.

“And you wouldn't believe all the commotion that it caused , pff, nos tuvimos que quedar en casa varios días antes de que ella se atreviera a enseñar la cara (we had to stay at home for a few days before she was brave enough to show her face)” she says while picking up both of your bowls to bring to the sink. You don't know where to hide in that moment, you couldn't believe your mom was telling him about that.

“Ma…” you say, trying to make her drop the subject. She obviously doesn't want to catch your desperation.

“What? Sorry i was lost in my head for a moment” he says not realizing that you don't want the subject to be brought up.

“Ay mijo, te estaba diciendo (i was telling you) about how she used to go out with the Lopez´s boy, Diego, and she heard from Doña Lucía about him and a girl, that no one knew, been seen in Jacinto´s ice cream shop, then she decided to confront him that same day, but she instead saw him and the girl on the town square just there,” she makes a dramatic gesture with her hands like she was physically pointing at them right there. “just sitting on a bench, muy acaramelados los muy sinvergüenzas (very lovey-dovey, those scoundrels). Doña Lucía told me that she just took the lemonade in the girl's hand and threw it to him, allí delante de todos, ¿tu te crees, mijo? (in front of everybody, can you believe it, my son?)” she shakes her head in almost disappointment.

“Well, if I'm honest with you Maria. Creo que le hizo poco, yo le hubiese dado un buen puño” you can see how his hands become fists, and his jaw becomes more tense. Javi feels a fire inside of him that he hasn't felt since he left Colombia, he already knows that if he crosses paths with Diego Lopez, he won't be exactly kind towards him.”Wait, he cheated and you had to hide at home?!” he asks, now looking at you.

“I didn't hide, she did” you say pointing towards your mom, who's washing the dishes, with your head. “I was just going through a breakup like a normal person” you shrug your shoulders to try to take some weight off of the conversation.

He nods, understanding now the situation. “Good, you shouldn't feel embarrassed, it's his loss” he huffs “He must be as stupid as he was when he was a kid” he says more to himself than to you, it makes you blush again.

“Javier Jesús Peña!!” your mom scolds him from the sink, turning her head towards him. Javi for a moment feels like a teenager again, being scolded by Maria and his mom for saying a bad word in the kitchen of Pena´s ranch while they make empanadas.

“What? No podes defender al desgraciado, hizo daño a nuestra vampirita (you can't defend that bastard, he hurted our little vampire” he chuckles sincerely now. You gasp at the mention of your old childhood nickname he gave you for being obsessed with the book Dracula when you were 9 years old.

“You don't want to play that game, Peña” you challenge him, squinting your eyes at him, but a little smile in your lips betrays your facade. He laughs with his whole belly now, throwing his head back. You decide right then that you like seeing him laugh sincerely a lot.

After some hours of more delicious food and banter, Javier informs you that he needs to go back to the ranch before his dad comes looking for him for leaving him all day alone with the chores.

You walk him to the door, his arms full of mountains of tupperware full of leftovers that your mom had insisted him to take for himself and Chucho.

You open the door for him since he has his hands occupied, those hands that you´ve been stealing glances to all day, you wonder how rough they would feel around your own hand, around your neck, around your- “Thanks for um… everything” he says interrupting your thread of thoughts.

“Don't mention it” you give him a shy smile, like he could´ve read what you had been thinking. Next thing you know, your mouth is working by it´s own mind, you ask without thinking.”Are you going to the barbecue at Doña Lucia's house this Sunday after church?” when you realize how eager your voice sounds about the prospect of seeing him again in less than two days you add “I believe she invited Chucho the other day, and i'm sure she did it in person with the sole purpose of having you at the barbecue and confirm the rumors of you being fully back home” you chuckle trying to play it cool, god you felt like you were 15 again, drooling for him.

His dad had told him about the gathering but he wasn't planning on going, but now, seeing the slight spark your eyes got when you asked him about his possible attendance, he couldn't think of a better plan for Sunday. “Yeah, my pops told me the other day. I take you´re going too?” you nod with doe eyes and he can't help his eyes for going down to where you tongue tips out of your mouth to wet your lower lip, he gulps and can feel a drop of sweat going down his spine; his mind wondering how you tongue and your lips might feel against his own, against his neck or his chest…

Your mom suddenly yells your name from inside the house. “Dani is calling you, mija!!” you both can hear her voice coming from the living room where the telephone is.

“Dila que voy ma!! (tell her i'll be right there mom!!)” you yell towards her, turning your head over your shoulder, then you turn towards Javi again. You guys keep looking into each other's eyes for what feels like a second and an eternity at the same time until you decide that if you don't stop it, your mom will come over and ruin the moment even more. “I'll see you on Sunday then?”

He nods and then does something that makes you melt into a puddle of water into the ground, he kisses your cheek and with a breathy and deep whisper wishes you a good day to then turn around and walk to his truck on the driveway. You can't help but to stay right there frozen with your heart going way too fast and an almost shocked expression, watching how he puts the leftovers on the passenger side then gets behind the wheel and drives away; it isn´t until your mom calls your name again that you defroze.

Next chapter

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axlrosesrealwife · 3 months ago

Text

-"I think I might want one"-

It was 1989. March to be exact. Axl and I were attending one of my best friend's parties. She just turned 28, Axl and I being 27.

My friend has been married for at least 4 years now. And has two kids. Both girls. Grace, who was 3, and she just had another daughter less than 6 months ago, her name is Avery.

"You sure this is the right house, Gracie?" Axl, my boyfriend of 7 years, asked me, as we pulled up to my friends house. Oh yeah, Axl and I were childhood best friends, and, we caught feelings for each other when he started out in 85' with his band.

"Axl, this is her house. I've been here too many times to count." I said, laughing a bit, as I looked out the window at the 5 cars outside. 2 more cars also pulled up at the same time we did.

"Just making sure, don't wanna get the wrong address and just show up to some persons house." He said, also laughing, as he pulled the key out of the ignition, taking off his seatbelt.

"If it was the wrong house, they're wouldn't be people getting out of their cars with presents." I said, watching as people headed up to the front porch with a few presents. "You ready to head in?" I asked Axl, getting my seatbelt unbuckled.

"Yeah, I'm ready." He said, giving my thigh a gentle rub, before he spoke again. "Also, I know I said it earlier, but, you look beautiful today, baby." He said, still rubbing my thigh, as I turned to look at him.

"Thank you, baby. I'm just glad you agreed to come with me. I know you don't like getting the attention put on you when we're out, but, I seriously appreciate you coming with me to this party." I said, looking into Axl's grey-green eyes, which almost seemed to shimmer.

"I would do it, Gracie. Because I love you, I don't care if I get noticed, or getting the spotlight on me for a little." Axl said, now gripping my chin, kissing me quickly, but, being gentle at the same time.

With that, Axl and I got out of the car, getitng our two presents out, before making sure it was locked, before we headed up the cobblestone pathway to the front door.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A few hours had gone by, and Axl and I enjoyed ourselves at the party. I got to spend some time with the birthday girl herself. And yes, Axl got noticed, which usually happened, especially if we went out.

I was looking around in the backyard for Axl, but, he wasn't even outside with me and the rest of the party goers.

"Emily, have you seen Ax?" I asked my best friend, aka, the birthday girl, as she sat with her significant other.

"Inside, you should go see him." She said, with a smile, as she looked at me. I nodded, heading back inside.

I walked into the living room, only to find my boyfriend holding my friend's 6 month old daughter in his arms. While her 3 year old, Grace, was showing Axl all of her toys.

I stayed silent, just wanting to watch the three of them.

"This is pinky, my kitty!!" Grace said, showing Axl her stuffed pink cat plush.

"Is she friendly?" He asked, smiling at the toddler, watching as she jumped on the carpet.

"Soft and friendly...." Grace said, with a smile, making the stuffed animal kiss Axl, then her little baby sister.

"Aww, she is friendly...." He said, playing along, as he held Avery, gently rocking her in his arms.

I stayed silent, just watching them. Finding this adorable as can be. I knew Axl wanted to have kids one day. After all the shit he went through during his childhood, he wanted to be a father. And he was gonna make the best one some day.

Avery of course began to coo, as she looked up at Axl.

"Oh yes sweet girl, coo all you want to...you're so pretty..." Axl said, looking down at the 6 month old in his arms as he gently ran his finger along her small cheek

"I love my sissy" Grace said, as she giggled so happily. She planted herself on the couch, right next to Axl, stuffed kitty in her arms.

"I'm sure you do little one. She's precious....and so are you." My boyfriend spoke to the tot, as he looked at her.

Axl finally caught me just standing there, and so did Grace. She immediately climbed off the couch, running into my arms, after all, she was like a niece to me, so was Avery.

"How long have you been standing there for?" Axl asked me, as I picked Grace up, holding her on my hip.

"Not too long...." I said, with a smile, as I tickled Grace's tummy, which made her squeal. It also made Axl smile, as he chuckled again.

"You know, Gracie. I'm thinking I really want kids...maybe 2. Or 3." He said, staring at me, with the brightest smile possible.

#axl rose #axl gnr #axl rose one shot #axl rose one shots #axl rose gnr #axl rose imagine #self insert #guns n roses #Axl #William Axl Rose #Axl rose fluff

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winchesterszvonecek · 1 year ago

Note

from nsfw prompts that don’t sound like a bad porno - #27 for one muse to take the other from behind (i think that’s right)

otis x fem please :)

Bucket List - [Brian ‘Otis’ Zvonecek ] 18+

Prompt: For one muse to take the other from behind

Word Count: 1689

Warnings: female!reader, smut - [ dirty talk, vaginal fingering, brief handjob, brief mutual masturbation, penetrative sex, brief overstimulation ]

A/N: would this be classed as “from behind”? idk, technically, i guess… it sort of got away from me so hopefully you liked it anyway

Masterlist | Otis Masterlist

You’d been waiting all day to surprise Brian with this, practically radiating with excitement during the boring meeting you’d had earlier, where you’d turned yourself on just thinking about tonight.

You'd been planning this for weeks now and had only just managed to pluck up the courage to ask Cruz if he would sneak you Brian’s turnout coat after his shift. Cruz knew instantly what you wanted it for, which had you blushing furiously in front of him and wishing the ground would swallow you whole. But now, as Brian’s jaw dropped when he saw you in it, all that embarrassment was 100% percent worth it.

"W-W-Where did you get that?" Brian stammered out as he swallowed harshly, yet it did absolutely nothing as he was pretty sure there wasn't a single drop of saliva left in his mouth. But somehow, at the same time, he was practically drooling.

"Mhm, I have my ways." You hummed out seductively, the scheming glint in your eye causing Brian to let out a shallow breath as he all but fell into a lust filled daze.

Stepping forward once, you simply relished in the way he was devouring you with his eyes, tracing them up and down your entire body as he imagined all the different ways he could devour you in a more literal sense. Brian had no idea how you got his coat but honestly he didn’t care, not when he could feel himself getting harder by the second. And if he was being honest, this exact scenario had been one he’d imagined plenty of times before.

You walked over to him, hips swaying as you put on a show for him, loving the way he practically fucked you with his eyes. His pupils blew wide with lust as you stood before him, his hands fumbling to unbuckle his jeans in a haste to free his hardened cock, the one your eyes soon trailed the length of, licking your lips at the drop of precum that was sitting on the tip. Brian's hands soon trailed up your legs, pushing between them as his fingers slowly traced across your already soaking pussy.

“So wet already, baby.” He whispered, sliding them even slower over your slick slit, spreading you open as you gently moved your hips in motion with him.

A quiet, breathy gasp left your lips as Brian pushed a single digit knuckle deep into your pussy before slowly pulling back until just his fingertip remained. You fought the urge to crouch down, to ride his fingers before he added a second one, pushing them slowly back in and making you hum softly in response.

“God, you’re so fucking tight, baby…” Brian said around low groan, feeling as you clenched around him as he continued to slide his fingers in and out of you, fucking you slowly as his thumb rubbed small circles against your throbbing clit. “Gonna have to get you ready to take this cock, aren’t I?”

“Fuck…” You gasped, clenching your legs to tighten yourself around him more so that he’d only have to finger fuck you harder. “Spread me open baby, get my pussy ready for that huge cock.”

“You know I love it when you talk dirty baby… Gets me so fucking hard.” Brian all but growled, taking his cock in his free hand before you leaned forward, slipping your arms under his and lifting his hand away before wrapping your own around his length, making a deep groan rattle up his chest as his movements inside you faltered, his fingers nearly slipping out had you not clenched tighter to keep them in.

“Don’t stop…” You whispered as you began to pump him slowly, making him move his fingers in rhythm with you as you squeezed gently, your hand moving slowly up and down whilst your thumb traced over his leaking tip, smearing his precum over your skin before you pulled your hand away. You sucked the salty droplet off your thumb, moaning gently at the taste which only made Brian’s pupils blow wider with lust.

Desperate to feel you on him, Brian pulled his fingers from inside you and spun you around, pulling you down onto his lap where you could feel his cock sitting nicely between your ass cheeks, which you slowly began to move, feeling him throb against you as his fingers gripped the thick material of his turnout coat and he threw his head onto the back the couch.

You lifted your hips, angling them backwards a little before you slowly sank down onto his cock, gasping at just how much he stretched you open, once again pushing you to your limits as he became buried deep inside you, filling you up completely until you felt your ass press against his thighs.

“Looks like my fingers did nothing.” Brian groaned into your ear as you lifted your hips again until nothing but his tip remained. “Because you’re still deliciously tight around my cock, baby.”

An unintelligible drabble of Russian swear words left Brian’s lips when you simply sunk back down onto his length in response, feeling his hand grip your throat, forcing your back to curve against his chest as your head balanced on his shoulder. His other hand slid between your legs, giving your clit a few gentle rubs before it worked its way up, cupping your breast, causing a soft gasp to leave your lips as he began to pinch the hardened bud between his fingertips.

"Do you have any idea how turned on it makes me seeing you in nothing but my coat?” Brian moaned into your ear, sucking briefly on your lobe before he began to buck his hips, fucking his swelling cock up and into you.

The slick sound of your wet pussy began to fill the room as he thrusted mercilessly into you, pain mixing with the intense pleasure as you began to bounce up and down, meeting him thrust for thrust. Ragged pants left your lips, your body sweating under the thickness of his turnout coat and each time he hit that sweet spot deep inside you, you could feel the fire in your lower abdomen growing fiercer, about to flashover inside you and send you flying over the edge of your orgasm.

“I’m gonna come, baby… Fuck you’ve made come already.” You cried out, Brian’s hand dropping from your bouncing breasts to meet your throbbing clit, rubbing it furiously as he allowed you to come apart so quickly.

“Don’t worry, you’ll be coming a lot more than once.” He groaned, eyelids fluttering at the tightness of your orgasm around his cock, which you could feel pulsating inside you as he continued to ride you through your first high of the night.

Brian couldn't count how many times you’d come astride him, the evidence of them all shining over his thighs as you dripped down the length of his cock. He’d never seen you like this before, so out of it, so limp atop him as he fucked every ounce of pleasure into your body as he could, feeling it replace the tension you’d carried throughout the day.

"Fuck… I can’t… I can’t take it again..." You whimpered as you reached yet another earth shattering high, one you hoped would be your last as you didn’t have much left in you and your thighs were already aching around his. Not to mention your pussy which you’d never felt as sore as it was.

“Last one, baby.” Brian cooed into your ear as your back arched against him, making him slide his arm around your stomach to keep you in place as you rode his cock through your orgasm. “You’ve done so well, my love.”

Your hand flew back to grip his hair, feeling him press loving kisses against your neck as he angled himself deeper inside you. He wasn't far behind you this time, having held on long enough as he watched you come apart atop him. He could tell you were finished, reaching the point of overstimulation and the last thing he wanted to do was hurt you.

So with one last thrust up into you, his release burst out of him, filling you up as your name left his lips in a moan, making your fingers curl tighter around his hair. You panted hard as you forced yourself to continue to bounce your hips up and down, wanting to add pleasure to Brian's own orgasm which you could feel dripping out of you.

Eventually you stilled, your body thick with sweat as you lifted yourself off him, wincing a little as he brushed over your sensitive clit, feeling the relief course through your aching body before you fell back against him. He pushed the collar of his coat down, pressing soft, sloppy kisses on the skin of your neck, the heat practically radiating off you as you melted into him.

“That was…” Your ragged breath tried to say, your lungs burning each time you opened your mouth to speak. “…amazing.”

“It was.” Brian nodded, rubbing gentle circles over your stomach with his thumb. “You did so good, baby.”

“Mhm.” You hummed, it being too much effort to thank him properly as you were all but ready for a bath and then bed. You hadn’t even had dinner yet but at this point you were too tired to even care.

“You know I always wanted to fuck you whilst you wore my gear.” He confessed, making you open your eyes a little more as you turned your head as much as you could to look at him.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.” He leaned in, pressing a soft kiss against your lips. “Guess I can cross that off my bucket list now.”

“I guess you can.” You smiled, kissing him again before you whispered. “Now please carry me to the bathroom so I can have a bath before bed.”

“Gladly, my love.” Brian chuckled, about to lift you into his arms before you stopped him with a hand to the chest.

“Oh, and make sure you wash this coat before your next shift… Otherwise there’s gonna be questions.”

Prompt List

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alexsoenomel · 1 year ago

Text

Take Me Back To Eden (Joel Miller x f!Reader smut/fluff/angst?)

Summary: “Let me know if you ever come back to Austin,” – was the last thing he told you, and after losing your parents in a car accident you did just that.

Pairing: Joel x f!Reader

Warnings: oh boy here we go: 18+ MINORS DNI, big ol' age gap (Reader is 27 andJoel is 50), mentions of death, grief, if you squint reader has ADHD, unhappy relationship, oral female and male receiving, dick in vagina and all that jazz, pet names like darlin' and baby and I think that's all...

Word count: 9.3k

Note: So, I was sad and had a really hard time coping with life during my exams. So instead of going outside or studying I created this.

Song: Take Me Back to Eden by Sleep Token

Like/ reblog or both if you like it :)

Everything was going in your favor. You graduated from Austin Community College with honors, found a job as an assistant in a law firm, and had a man by your side – everything by the book. You were renting a small loft in The Big Apple, planning your future – you were enjoying life.

It wasn’t until you got a call from an unknown number. It wasn’t until you answered with a hallo that your life flipped upside down. Your parents – your support, your guardians – got into a fatal car accident when a reckless driver crashed into them, and your dad lost control of the wheel. The car ended up crashing into a tree and both of them died in a matter of minutes. Someone stopped the time that day. Nothing seemed to be real anymore. You were in haze and not the purple one. It was the weekend, Saturday or Sunday, you had no clue, you only knew it was the day both you and your boyfriend were off; sitting in the comfort of your home having a Lord of the Rings marathon. The scream you let out that day, you didn't remember – your boyfriend did and he thought it was gut-wrenching. The immense grief taking over your body that day took a toll on your body. Your heart was hurting, your head was pulsating and your stomach was starving but your mouth refused to accept food.

Your boyfriend tried to be there for you, to talk to you, even though no words could subside the loss you felt, he tried to hug you, but you refused to be touched and so two days after you got the devastating news, your relationship fell apart. You were fighting too much. He seemed deaf; you were trying to tell him that you needed solitude and he seemed to be wearing headphones.

On the third day, he packed his bags and on the fourth he left to stay with a friend. He kissed you on the forehead and told you; you were going to work this out, but you knew it was over. It wasn't like the love you read in the books; it was boring and uneventful. You felt like something was missing. Boy meets girl, they date, fall in love, start living together and then marry. When you found the damn ring in his underwear drawer your heart sank – you knew you weren't ready for that; you didn't want that. The loss made you snap and you ended it.

You were left in an empty space, lying on the bed, trying to see the point of this life you lived. You didn't see it that day.

On the fifth day, you finally got the strength to book a one-way ticket to Austin. Your aunt from your dad's side called you to discuss funeral arrangements and your heart sank even lower thinking about burying both of your parents. This all seemed like a fever dream.

On the sixth day, you packed everything you could in one suitcase and left New York. You decided to take some time off aka got fired, since you didn't bother to show up for work, and grieve. The good thing was you had some savings in your bank account since you and now ex were talking about buying a home – or at least he was.

Thank God that ain't happening.

You thought and closed the door, heading to the airport.

***

You haven't been back home ever since you graduated college five years ago. Your parents would always come to New York since they both loved the city and as your mom used to say Christmas in New York City was always a fairytale.

Austin was a lot different than New York City– hot and humid, quieter, and not so chaotic. Your aunt was waiting for you at the airport with open arms and for the first time in six days, you felt like you needed it. You accepted her warm hug and as soon as you placed your chin on her shoulder you cried and cried and cried…

"It's okay. Let it out." You heard her say as she tried to squeeze the pain away with a tight hug.

***

The funeral was painful. Your parents were good, hard-working people, loved by many so a lot of people came to pay their respects. You shook hands with people and listen to the same two sentences over and over again wanting to jump out of your skin:

I'm so sorry for your loss.

My condolences.

Your parents were supposed to be here. It was too early.

Tears just kept coming and thank God your aunt gave you a big pair of black sunglasses to hide your swollen face.

"Your folks were good people," you heard a man say as he shook your hand. By the accent you knew he was a local. And by the sound of his voice you knew you knew him.

You looked up to see a familiar face. Joel Miller – the man across the street from the house you grew up in.

Your voice was mute as you shook his hand, not being able to look at him anymore.

****

After they were laid to rest it hit you; you couldn't just rot away in your own grief, instead you had to try and live your "new normal" – whatever that meant. You told your family you needed some alone time. Your uncle offered to stay with you in the house but you declined, saying you needed to grieve in private.

"But I don't want you alone in that house," he told you. That man was always so sweet and caring. Since he didn't have kids of his own; you were the daughter he never had.

Mom has a great big brother.

"You remember when that boy broke up with me when I was 16 sayin' he's too embarrassed to go outside with me?" You asked him, wiping your tears from your right cheek. "And I didn't leave my room for two days?"

"I remember that bastard," he said, almost angrily.

"I'll be okay. I need some time alone."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, I am sure," you said and kissed his cheek. "I'll call you if I need company, okay?"

"Okay."

***

The house felt hollow and eerie as soon as you turned the key and stepped in. The air wasn't stale yet and the TV was off which was a rarity since your dad loved watching the news, while your mom loved sitting next to him reading a good romance novel. The house was spotless, with no dust in sight, since your mom enjoyed cleaning and listening to music every weekend. She loved the smell of a clean and polished home. You couldn't bring yourself to go to their room, a lump in your throat formed when you stood in front of their bedroom door.

You grew up in that house, you had many memories engraved in the walls and wooden furniture there. Your heart would ache every time you would see a small scratch or a stain on your walls. Those were all the memories of your happy and innocent childhood the house kept and refused to let go of. From food stains to scratches from tossing toys whenever you had a temper tantrum…Your father refused to repaint the house, saying even though you were at times an insufferable kid, those years were the best years of his life. You haven't set foot in that house for five years but it was still a place you would call home. Family photos all over the walls, cherished moments captured with your dad's camera throughout the years…your home.

The first day in that house you spend on the couch watching a movie on dad's TV. Your fingers felt heavy as you pressed the button on the remote. There was a blanket right next to you; your mom's blue blanket she would use to cover herself on a cold winter's day while getting lost in her book. Even though it was June and burning hot; your body was cold. Your soul was too sad to warm you up; you had to use your mom's blanket. It still smelled like her; a mixture of lavender – her favorite detergent and vanilla – her favorite perfume. Inhaling that smell was almost painful but it brought a wave of comfort. She was still in the house.

You didn't eat that day after the funeral; instead, you fell asleep with the TV on.

The second day seemed a lot better. You went to buy some groceries, made yourself a nice breakfast of sunny side-up eggs and bacon, and went to see the state of your backyard. It was freshly cut and green like always. Your dad liked taking care of the yard and making sure the grass was evenly cut and watered.

I miss you.

It wasn't until lunchtime that you started crying again when you glanced at the picture on your living room wall of your parents smiling with birthday caps on having a toast with Joel. You remembered that picture because you took it. It was your dad's birthday and he decided to have a BBQ in his beloved backyard.

You were sitting on the floor, looking at the picture in your hands as a sharp pain went through your chest, tears falling uncontrollably.

Why them?

Only when you noticed how grumpy and ridiculous Joel looked with his cap on a small chuckle escaped your lips.

Joel Miller.

Your favorite neighbor and guitar teacher during your college days. Every weekend you would look forward to spending some time with Mr. Miller while learning the magic of an acoustic guitar. It had been your dream to learn how to play and since your dad loved you with all his heart, he wanted to make that happen for you, so he asked Joel. Joel enjoyed teaching you, especially since you knew a lot about "old people's music" as he would call it.

Soon after you saved up and bought your very first acoustic guitar and started practicing almost every day after classes.

Once you moved to New York, you stopped playing. That city tended to either inspire or destroy someone's creativity and in your case, it completely killed the love you had for playing. Once you started working the guitar only collected dust in your little loft. You didn't have an answer why it just did…

******

Five years ago.

"Why New York?" He asked you after you finished your last guitar session. Well, it wasn't a guitar lesson, since you now knew how to play, you spent that day practicing Smoke on the Water by Deep Purple on his porch.

"I don't like living here."

"Why?"

"Too hot and too many conservatives."

Joel chuckled at your comment. "I agree with ya on that one darlin' but why New York City?"

"I always wanted to go there. Never got a chance," you blushed, giving him a short answer.

Darlin' – you always loved when he called you that.

“Are you plannin' on comin’ back?”

“Hmmm, not really.” If only you knew…

"Well, let me know if you do come back. We can catch up and play together again."

"Will do, Joel."

He was dreamy. A man of few words and ridiculously handsome. Your little crush –Joel Miller the guitar teacher.

****

Your eyes were puffy and red from crying. You didn't even realize you were hugging the framed picture like your life depended on it.

Numb. Numb was the feeling.

This is not fair.

***

The next day you remembered what Joel told you – to let him know when you're back. He saw you at the funeral but it wasn't the appropriate time to catch up obviously.

It was the first time since you landed you had three meals. For breakfast, a sandwich, for lunch noodles and you were about to have ice cream for dinner because you were craving something cold on a hot summer evening. You were doing somewhat okay, you cried once, under the shower that you used the first time on that particular day. As you were eating ice cream, Joel's words lingered in your mind again.

As much as you loved solitude, you were starting to crave company again. Your own thoughts were starting to suffocate you.

Your family was great, on both sides, but you knew they would only feel sorry for you and tried their best to make you feel better; which wasn't possible. You just wanted to talk to someone and maybe have a drink or two.

You picked up your phone only to see 10 unread messages and 5 missed calls from your ex. You didn't even bother to open the texts, instead, you found Joel's number under the name Mr.Handsome and started typing…

Hey, I know it’s been like 5 years but you told me to let you know if I ever come back to Austin. The circumstances are shit but I figured to let you know I’ll be here for a while. And thank you for coming to the funeral, Joel.

After a minute your screen lit up.

Your folks were great people like I told you. How you holdin up?

Better than few days ago. I took a shower today. Yay!

That's somethin. I figured you wanted to be alone after the I'm sorrys and condolences.

You both dealt with your shit in private. He knew that since your dad would always tell him how you didn't want to talk to him every time you were dealing with something. Joel would just tell him to leave you be, since he was also the same and his daughter Sarah was just like him but only less intimidating.

Do you wanna come over to catch up? Human interaction seems nice today and I have alcohol.

For some odd reason, you felt a strange sensation in the bottom of your stomach. Nervousness? Why?

I'm still at work. I can come after 10?

Sure. You in the mood for whiskey after work? My father has a nice bottle he refused to open.

Always in the mood for whiskey.

Perfect. See ya later!

He came at around 10:30 pm. When you opened the door you were greeted by a tall man in a green flannel, with soft brown eyes looking at you. Mr. Handsome. Your heart started racing but you ignored it.

"Hey!" You said and let him in. "Long time no see!"

"Long time no see!"

Once he stepped into the light of your living room, you noticed his hair filled with even more grays than you remembered five years ago.

You wondered if it was once black like charcoal. His beard was also lighter and grayer.

He was still handsome, maybe even too handsome now.

You went to the kitchen to get your dad’s prized possession, it was still sitting in the same spot in the pantry on the top shelf, collecting dust. Hillrock Solera Aged Bourbon Whiskey – a mouthful.

“How do you take your poison?” You asked as you put two glasses on the kitchen counter. Joel sat right in front of you.

“Neat.” He said.

His was neat and yours was with rocks. You made a toast in silence and took your first sips. It was strong but smooth and tasted like it took a small fortune out of your dad's wallet. It burned your throat but in a way no drink has ever done – it was a pleasant rich burn.

“Why he didn’t wanna open it? It’s a good fuckin’ whiskey.” Joel asked you looking at the liquid gold.

“He wanted to open it on my wedding day.”

“I’m guessin’ there’s no wedding.”

“Not a fuckin’ chance.” You laughed. “I never told him I don’t wanna get married.”

You were craving interaction but didn’t know what to say, what to add. The silence in the air was pleasant, felt like a warm hug in his presence. He was enjoying it just as much.

“So Joel…” – you said finally – “What happened in your life during these past five years?”

He finished his first glass and you immediately poured another one.

“Same ol’ same ol’. Still working as a contractor.”

“How’s Sarah?”

“All grown up in college. Studying agriculture in Nebraska.”

You remembered his daughter fondly. She loved to hang out with your family. Your cousins would always tell you how pretty and smart she was. She was like family.

“They grow up so fast, I swear.” You said taking another sip.

***

The night was passing by quicker than you expected. Time wasn’t suffocating you and for a few hours, life seemed normal. Joel told you about his bar adventures and how he managed to get kicked out of multiple bars in the last year alone because of his short fuse.

“You don’t seem like the violent type though.”

“Oh trust me darlin’ I can be when a fuckin’ moron tries to start an argument over stupid shit.”

Darlin’

You haven’t heard that one in a long time. He turned back time for a few seconds, as old butterflies started creeping into your stomach.

After two glasses you started feeling tipsy so you decided to continue your drinking endeavors in the living room on the couch. Joel was sitting right next to you watching you as you poured your third glass. “How’s your love life?” You asked, not thinking this one through. Joel's eyebrows frowned as he gave you a half smile.

“Doesn’t exist.”

He never liked talking about his love life and past relationships, hell, you have never seen him with a woman next to him holding her hand. It was hard to picture him with someone since he was always just Joel. After Sarah’s mom he never fully recovered – or that was what you thought. Your speculations were always off when it came to people but you liked to think he never truly had gotten over Sarah’s mom.

Now you were sitting there, cheeks burning, alcohol running through you as you wanted to hear one question: “What about you?”

A drunken man’s words are a sober man’s thoughts, but your words were too shy to come out. You wanted to let him know you were single, a desire buried so deep you forgot you had it.

“What about you?” He asked. YES!

“I broke up with my ex when I got the news.” You confessed. “ Their death just pulled the inevitable trigger, I guess.”

“Even though that sounds kinda poetic, why was there a trigger in the first place?”

You swallowed nervously before taking another sip of whiskey. You never said those words out loud, you never dared to admit to yourself what was happening behind closed doors. You wanted to do everything by the book; make your parents proud; only to suffer in silence as a result.

“I wasn’t happy.” You felt a sense of freedom saying those words. Freedom, freedom, freedom…

Joel gave you a look of understanding, his soft eyes fixed on yours, sharing this intimate moment with you.

“If you ain’t happy then what’s the point?”

“Exactly, and I was stupid enough to think it mattered to my parents even though they never pressured me into”– you raised your two fingers to make quotation marks – “doing everything by the book.”

“What you mean…marriage?”

“Yeah, and this law degree I have, this job back in New York which I don't have anymore…I don't want that.” You confessed, putting your soul back together. Verbalizing it was validating and therapeutic. Joel just sat in silence and listened carefully knowing exactly what you were talking about. He was in the same boat once, lost and stuck in one place right before Sarah was born. He realized he needed to get his shit together – for her and his family.

“What do you wanna do?” He asked genuinely curious.

“I wanna play again and make music.”

He wasn’t expecting that kind of answer. He always thought playing guitar was a hobby of yours nothing else.

“I wanna paint, write and just…create.” You added.

“Old artistic soul you are.” He smiled, remembering the good days; your lessons. He thought you were gifted – a rock star – but you refused to believe it. When you learned the basics of the guitar you started experimenting, playing with melodies, and writing songs. Joel would play them. He liked your songs.

“I can tell you darlin’ one thing I know is your parents were proud of you and no matter what you do now they will be proud.”

Your eyes started watering, but you refused to let the tears roll down your cheeks. You chugged the rest of your whiskey down like water.

“I just wish they were here.” You leaned in, resting your head against Joel’s shoulder. He smelled like pine trees and something you couldn’t put a finger on it – something that made Joel, Joel. It had a calming effect on you.

“I know. I miss them too.” He said. Joel did miss them. They were his favorite neighbors, not forcefully kind or pretentious Bible folks – just normal kind of people. He loved spending time with your dad playing poker now and then and he certainly adored your mom’s signature pecan pie.

Alcohol was running through your veins as the sound of the clock was echoing throughout the house.

“What time is it?” Joel asked you.

“Mmmm, almost 1.” You slurred your words looking at your phone.

“Do you want me to stay or are you okay sleepin’ here by yourself?”

“You workin’ tomorrow?” You completely forgot it was Thursday.

“Sadly. Have to get up at 7.”

“Can you stay here for the night? I can take the couch, you go to my room. I can’t sleep there.”

Joel placed a light kiss on your head and you were too intoxicated to notice it. Seeing you grieve the loss of your parents had a strange effect on him. It was almost like he could feel your pain, the same agonizing pain in his heart. “I will take the sofa.”

He stood up leaving you starved for his touch and scent. You were drifting away when he pulled you back into reality.

“Your back will hate you tomorrow though.” You said and wrapped yourself in your mother’s blanket. Joel pulled out the seat of the sofa making it into a small bed.

“Or not.” You added when you realized someone finally fixed the pull-out sleeper chair you broke right before you left.

“I fixed it for your old man a few weeks ago.” He said, adjusting the pillow before he laid down. He let out a sigh, feeling his body relax. “It’s brand new now.”

No wonder your parents loved Joel so much. His exterior was tough, but under all the layers there was a heart made of gold. Even a simple thing like fixing the damn chair made your eyes tear up.

“Thank you for fixing it for my dad, Joel.”

“Your welcome darlin’”

And with that you both drifted to sleep, leaving the whiskey bottle half empty.

***

You woke up at around 8 am to an empty house and a pleasant smell in your nostrils. Your head was pounding, your mouth was dry as a dessert and you couldn’t sleep. You checked your phone only to see a text from Joel.

I made you breakfast. Eggs and waffles since you only had that in the fridge. I figured you’d be too hungover to do anything, so EAT!

He was right. You were indeed too hungover to do anything.

On the kitchen counter, there was a plate waiting for you and a glass of orange juice.

Thank you, my favorite guitar teacher :)

You answered before your brain could complete your thought.

And thank you for coming last night. I hope I didn’t suffocate you.

One thing you learned over the years was – people don’t give a shit. In the end, your problems are your own and no one else’s. He didn’t answer. Once you dove into your scrambled eggs you heard a bing.

Darlin if you think this is a one time thing you’re mistaken.

Again with the darlin’. Your heart started pumping faster as you stuffed your face with eggs.

As you were thinking about how to answer, another message popped up.

I told you to let me know when you’re back so we can catch up and play again.

Another message.

Well we missed the playing part last night.

He still remembered his own words from five years ago. You wanted to get back into playing, but by now you were rusty; you hadn’t touched your guitar in so long that you forgot how to hold it.

You’d be disappointed. I haven’t played in ages, plus my guitar is back in New York.

Darlin playin guitar is just like drivin a car. You aint forgetting that. You just have to remind your fingers how to move.

You chuckled. His words made sense. Another message popped up in a matter of seconds.

You can play my electric one.

He never told you he had an electric guitar. He would always play the acoustic versions of his favorite rock songs. You decided why not.

Okay, that’s goin’ to be a mess. I’m down.

***

The rest of the day you spent in anticipation and nervousness. You tried to occupy your mind by doing simple tasks like going to the store, making lunch, and rummaging through your stuff in your room. You finally got the courage to go in, to see old family photos all over the room and old trophies and diplomas. You were an overachiever, a gifted kid your dad would call you, straight A student, a painter, a writer, and a spelling bee champion. Too bad once puberty knocked at your door that gifted kid became insecure, lost, and consumed with sadness. Once a gifted kid, now a miserable adult. You thought living by the book would make you happier, but it only made you hate life even more.

You found your memory box under your bed and spent the majority of the day looking at old concert tickets, letters, and little Polaroids of old friends. You were too hyper-fixated on going down the memory lane; you didn't cry. The nostalgia this box brought made your heart warm. Your room was a memory portal, pleasant and nostalgic, and you decided to take a nap in it. When your head hit the cold pillow your whole body sank into the mattress, and you drifted peacefully, with no thoughts in your mind and sorrow in your soul.

You woke up at around 7 pm. Someone was knocking on your door.

"Hey." You greeted Joel with a yawn, still not feeling 100% awake. You noticed his hair was slick back and wet, and he was wearing his signature jeans and a blue t-shirt. He probably took a shower back home. You swallowed the remaining spit in your mouth as you admired his looks. That man only looked better with age.

In his hands, there were two guitars, his signature acoustic one and a baby blue Fender Stratocaster in the other.

"Hey."

Immediately he put the guitars on the couch and went straight into his backpack trying to find something.

"There it is." He said and pulled out a small amplifier.

"Joel, this guitar is fuckin' beautiful. You never told me you had an electric one."

"Yeah well, when my band fell apart she went to the attic."

You tilted your head wondering if you heard him right. "You had a band?"

Joel stopped mid-connecting the baby blue beauty to the amplifier and shook his head. "Long story."

You started slow. You have never played an electric guitar so first Joel let you play with strings and feel the weight since an acoustic was a lot lighter than an electric one.

"Like I told you, it's like drivin'."

You took a deep breath, feeling your hands shake in anticipation. The anticipation being you waiting to fuck everything up.

"I guess I forgot how to drive." You smiled awkwardly.

Truth be told you forgot since in New York you don't need a car, but once Joel played one chord and told you to do the same your ears immediately perked up.

"That's G5." You said as your fingers touched the strings. The sound was strong and sharp, far different and powerful than the sound coming from Joel's guitar.

"Another one." He said and played another chord.

"F5." You were correct.

Joel's face lit up with excitement. The first time you saw him smiling for a straight minute. Every sound he played you guessed it.

Soon enough you saw the pattern and recognized the melody.

"That’s…That’s Smoke on the water?"

"Unbelievable," he said, confirming your answer. " I’m convinced you have a perfect pitch because you darlin' are a natural."

You felt your hands get sweaty and your fingers felt still and in pain – it was the same satisfying pain you felt in them after every lesson you had with Joel, only this time the pain was sharper because the strings were thicker.

"Wanna find out?" You asked him. "Play me something and I'll try to follow you."

It felt good playing again. Walking on that road again was familiar and Joel was holding your hand guiding you all the way.

He nodded and thought for a second before a familiar melody filled the room. It was Dazed and Confused by Led Zeppelin. Your favorite song. He took the inspiration from your old worn-out Zepp t-shirt you were wearing that day. It was your dad's. He gave you a few years ago when he realized he was too big to wear it. Both of you connected through that band and now Joel was playing one of their songs for you.

The precision in which he moved his fingers, his silk back hair, his bottom lip between his teeth as he was trying to concentrate…Joel Miller was starting to occupy your mind more and more.

You shook your head and listened carefully. The chords were relatively simple. You played a couple before you eventually found them and slowly but surely you followed him. He was right, it was like driving. Your fingers remembered.

"Good girl." You heard him say through the sound of both guitars creating heaven in the form of melodies. You smiled back at him, pretending like you didn't just feel your pussy get wet by his comment. You wondered if he was aware of it – his presence was intoxicating, addictive, you wondered if he was aware of his charm.

"You're a fuckin' rockstar." He said and placed the guitar right next to him. He went to the kitchen to get a glass of water.

"No, I ain't." You denied, but he didn't register you.

"A rockstar with a perfect pitch."

***

By the time you finished your jamming session, it was almost 9 pm. From Led Zeppelin, Black Sabbath, and Queen you covered everything you used to play together. Your fingers were red and swollen – but your heart was full. Joel put the missing puzzle piece in you, making you realize playing wasn't just a hobby, it was a need and a means of survival. Art was the core of your whole being.

Why did I stop playing in the first place?

You decided to have a late-night dinner.

"Hope you like my shitty burgers. I'm a lousy cook so if you get food poisoning you have been warned." You shrugged your shoulders and went to the kitchen. You made them that day to not think about cooking tomorrow, not knowing he would come.

"I'm not sayin' no to burgers." He smiled softly.

As you were sitting in silence devouring the burgers that were actually quite good in Joel's words your mind went somewhere you didn't want. Your crush. Your undying crush that was Mr. Handsome. He was much older than you, a friend of your now-deceased parents, and yet you would still get butterflies after so many years.

"Tell me the story about the band." You shook your butterflies away and let your mind focus on something else.

"I told you it's a long one."

"Well, make it shorter." You sassed.

You shared a look before simultaneously taking a bite of your burgers, grease slipping down your fingers.

"After high school me and my buddies would play small gigs in local pubs. We were doin’ pretty good until we got into a fight and broke up. I punched the bassist."

"Of course you did. A fight over what?"

Joel rolled his eyes when he realized what he had to tell you. "They wanted to name the band Rock Bottom."

He confessed as you choked on a piece of your burger. Thank God you swallowed the piece quickly enough because you started laughing, while Joel just stared at you trying not to roll his eyes again.

“A rock band, Rock Bottom! That’s horrible, I love it!”

“Yeah, yeah.”

“But wait, why did you punch the bassist?”

“Ah, he fucked my ex.” He said almost too casually and you froze mid-bite. It was the first time he ever mentioned an ex/girlfriend.

“That wasn’t the answer I expected.”

***

After dinner, you both started craving alcohol. Since there was little to no whiskey left, you remembered your mom would always have a bottle of red wine in the house – for cooking and drinking purposes. Red wine was your poison and it opened many doors, setting you free and killing the remains of your shyness. Adrenaline was running through your veins when you poured your second glass, feeling your tongue untangling. You wanted to confess more with each sip. He seemed to be getting more and more handsome or you were just getting more and more intoxicated. For the past two days you weren't rotting away, you laughed, cried, ate and you remembered good moments in life. His laughter only made you laugh, his words made you listen, his music made you calm…

Your gaze was fixed on his perfect aquiline nose as he was telling you another story about his band or rather about the bassist that fucked his then girlfriend. You were drifting, wondering, fantasizing what it would be like to close the gap between you, to feel his warmth, to spend the night.

"And that's why I wanted to break his fuckin' jaw the second time."

You blinked a couple of times, praying to God you didn't visibly drift away. Another sip of wine went down your throat smoothly.

"Darlin' are you okay?"

Crap.

"Yeah I-" in a second God answered your prayers when you heard a bing from your phone. Your aunt and uncle have been checking up on you, regularly making sure you were alright so you assumed someone messaged in the family chat. You were wrong. It was your ex again.

A quiet ugh left your lips followed by an eye roll before you locked your phone and put it on the table.

"Everything okay?" Joel asked, glancing at your phone then back at you.

"Yeah. My ex and his I wanna talk bullshit."

"Dude doesn't seem to get the memo, huh?"

"Nope. I don't wanna talk to him. If I open my mouth he will probably cry or lose his mind. I'm doing him a favor."

Joel licked his bottom lip, not understanding what you just said.

"Care to explain more?"

"You really wanna listen to me whine about my failed relationship?"

"I'm all ears."

He gave you permission and you told him everything. Something about this man screamed a safe haven for your aching soul. He was the comfort you needed. You told him the forbidden words. The love you wanted was the love your ex never knew how to give. His love was plain, boring like working 9 till 5. If he made a mistake he would buy you something, it he was tired he would forget to kiss you after coming home from work, if he was horny he would fuck you in the same position over and over. There was no depth, no fireworks. Your relationship looked like a marriage of two middle aged people that hated each other. He wasn't capable of satisfying you, neither emotionally, nor intellectually, nor sexually. The guy was as plain as white bread. When you got together with him, it felt right, because you didn't know him well, but after a year you already knew and when second year rolled around you wanted to jump out of your skin.

Joel wasn't surprised by your words. He understood them, especially when he knew you during your college days. You were always hyper, desperately chasing that high; that dopamine boost, always getting hyper fixated on songs he would play you – you wouldn't stop practicing until you perfected the song – your brain was scattered back then in the same way as it was now. You were anything but boring. He liked that about you; your wild spirit perfectly aligned with his inner lone wolf. Later he realized, he wasn't much of a lone wolf after all when he was with you. Five long years without her… – he thought as the sweetness of wine hit his dry mouth.

"Oh and he has a small dick," your mouth slipped. You were always as blunt as they come, but after alcohol – you were far worse. Joel choked on his last sip and chuckled.

"How small?" He asked genuinely curious.

You lift up your right pinkie. "Add another half an inch."

"Damn, poor dude."

"No, Joel poor me," you said,putting your index finger on your chest. "It's not even the size, it's the fact that he was a selfish bastard and lasted two minutes."

You didn't know why you opened this particular can of worms. Joel seemed to be interested and listening, but was he truly? Your now drunk brain wanted to dive into something unknown and you did everything you could to stay in that lane and keep the conversation going. You wanted to know what he liked in the bed; you wanted him to verbalize it and then show you; especially since it was the truth – you haven't had good sex in AGES. At the same time another thought pierced your head like a bullet – was it wrong to be having these sinful thoughts in your deceased parent's house? Was it wrong to be crushing on a man who just turned 50? Were you just sad and wanting to replace sadness with a good orgasm? You didn't know and frankly you didn't care. This high was too good for you to stop chasing it – like a damn junkie.

Joel licked his lips and devilishly smiled. He always liked hearing you vent. He thought you were adorable, getting all annoyed and frustrated and always losing yourself in your own thoughts – your mouth being faster than your brain.

"Darlin', no wonder you weren't happy. Should have dumped his ass a long time ago."

"Stop callin' me that," you said, feeling yourself getting wet. Wine just enhanced everything you were feeling and Joel seemed to be getting hotter by the minute. "You always call me that and it's distracting." You added not wanting to sound rude.

"How so, darlin'?" He was a tease. You were his darlin' and ever since you stepped foot into his house, for your first guitar lesson, he would call you that and every time you would get distracted.

"Ugh, Joel, don't make me embarrass myself now." You hid your face from him with your palm, feeling your cheeks burning. You dug this hole by yourself and now you had to lay in it.

"Oh come on now, I'm curious." He was curious, even though he already knew the answer. He just wanted you to say it.

All those years and she still looks at me like that. Silly little thing…

"I- I like it too much…if you know what I mean." You poured the rest of the wine in your glass and took a big sip.

"No I don't." He tilted his head, like a damn kid asking stupid questions.

He was impossible.

"Jesus Christ," you whispered under your breath. "I get horny, okay?"

You finally confessed and Joel smirked.

"Dear God, take me now." Came out in the form of a whisper.

He was your parents' neighbor, your dad's poker buddy, he was 23 years older than you and yet you wanted him to devour you.

"Is it bad that I have a crush on you and you're only 10 years older than my dead father?" You asked. The first time the word dead came out of your mouth.

"Is it bad that I don't think it's bad?"

That damn smirk on his face is going to be the death of me.

"If you don't think it's bad, can I do something?" You were burning up and the summer weather didn't help.

"Of course, darlin'," he answered, and thank God he gave you an affirmative response because you were feeling adventurous. You chugged the rest of the wine from your glass and put it on the table. Then went and sat on Joel's lap, putting your legs on both his sides. You could feel his hot breath on your face, his firm chest and his dick slowly getting hard. Your hands found their way into his now dry hair; it was soft, softer than you thought. His fingers went behind your back, finding your bare skin under your shirt, making you shiver.

"Now do you think it's bad?" You said, slowly moving your hips, grinding against him.

His breathing deepened, his mouth slightly opened and he whispered: "No."

That was all you needed to hear. No more holding back, no more hiding behind a shy smile and refusing to look him in the eyes. His wine-stained lips touched yours gently. His lips were surprisingly soft and as the kiss deepened more and more, his hands roamed on your body freely, touching any naked surface he could find. When your hips started moving faster a muffled moan escaped from Joel's mouth letting you know he was growing impatient. Hell, you could feel it. He was now fully hard underneath those jeans and big.

When oxygen became a necessity, you broke away resting your nose on his.

"Still not bad?" You asked, almost breathless.

"Still not bad."

Something about sleeping with your favorite guitar teacher in your living room, filled with family photos, was giving you an ick so you went into your room. Your bed wasn't big, but it was big enough for both of you. He climbed on top of you, kissing you hungrily as you pulled on his hair making him groan into the kiss.

"Mmm I thought you couldn't sleep here." He told you between kisses. "What changed your mind?"

"I broke the ice today" – you sighed as Joel bit your neck gently – "With a nap."

Your hands pulled on his t-shirt, trying to take it off and feel his warm skin against yours. He took it off, before taking yours off followed by your shorts leaving you completely bare, only in your black panties underneath him. It was too hot for a bra that day. You cupped your breasts feeling a sense of embarrassment. Joel took your palms, intertwined his fingers with yours and put your hands above your head.

"No need to feel shy aroun' me darlin'," He said and placed kisses all over your collarbones, getting lower and lower. You sighed growing wetter with each kiss and touch. His lips explored your skin, his beard lightly brushing against it leaving light red spots all over your belly. When he reached your panties he kissed you through the fabric as your back arched – your body on fire. You have never experienced anything like that with anyone and he hadn't even fucked you yet. Something about him; maybe his age or maybe the fact that you had known him for so long, he was comfort and you were ready to let go of all of your worries. You were his.

"Are you going to…?" You asked looking at the ceiling, but unable to finish the thought.

"Don't be shy, baby. Use your words!"

Baby.

You swallowed, feeling your cheeks burning. "Eat me out?"

Joel took off your panties as he positioned himself right in front of your cunt. He kissed the skin on your inner thighs as you bit your lip, balancing yourself on your elbows.

"I can do that, can't I?" He asked, trying to play innocent.

"Yeah, it's just… no one has ever. I don't know if I'd like it." You confessed.

You had little to no experience when it came to good sex. Your ex liked the same shit and wasn't as creative as you would have wanted him to be. All of your previous partners were the same – same shit over and over. They were all selfish – selfish and just awful.

"You've been with some dickheads, darlin'. Who doesn't wanna eat this pretty little pussy? I mean look at you, baby."

His words were hot, but tongue against your wet cunt was even hotter.

"You're already so wet for me.Tell me if you don't like it, okay?"

"Okay, Joel."

He started off slow, showering you with kisses all around your sensitive and pulsating core, before his face was buried deep between your legs, licking the bundle of nerves that no one bothered to touch. Your fingers were in his hair, pulling it harder and harder as the pleasure was growing stronger. It was a brand new feeling – intense, but good. It felt like he was tickling you and torturing you and yet you didn't want him to stop. Your mouth only knew the sound of his name.

"Joel, Joel….FUCK!"

You could feel the vibrations of his groans against your skin, making your back arch. When he placed two fingers inside, you knew you were going to lose it very soon. It was too much to handle. He was fucking you with his fingers as his mouth never left your clit. Your sanity began to crumble as you started forgetting your own name, only pleasure taking over you.

"Oh my fucking God!" You screamed, gripping the bed sheets as the orgasm rushed through you. Your body was stiff, skin covered in goosebumps, your lungs forgot to breathe – the climax hit you hard.

You were panting, practically running towards air, but not being able to catch it. Joel kissed your hip bone and climbed back up.

"Good girl!" He said and kissed you letting you taste yourself. A mixture of sweet and salty hit your taste buds – you craved more.

"Spit in my mouth!" You heard yourself say, breaking the kiss. Your hands cupped his face pulling him closer and licking your juices off his beautiful nose.

Joel bit his lower lip, letting you know he liked your demand.

"Open!" He said and you opened your mouth, letting your tongue out. A thick drop of saliva left his mouth and hit your tongue, and you swallowed instantly. Something about being able to finally taste every part of this man was enough to send you into an animalistic state so intense it was able to cloud your judgment completely. You wanted to take control now. It was his turn to moan and scream in pleasure. Your hands went around his torso as you pulled him closer to you. His hot skin pressed against yours and before he knew it you managed to flip him over, with his help,so he was under you. Finally, he was under you.

"You are a lot stronger than you look, darlin', he told you as you took off his jeans.

"Not strong Joel…just really fuckin' horny." You confessed.

He was bigger than you– sure; stronger– sure; but under your spell powerless. It has been a very long time since he felt this kind of connection with anyone. He needed this just as much as you did.

"What you wanna do? He asked and watched you taking off his boxers, his dick free and fully hard and slightly curved to the right.

"I want you to fuck my mouth, handsome."

Handsome.

He was indeed handsome. His hair messy, skin drenched in sweat, his eyes soft as always – he was indeed the most handsome man you have ever laid your eyes on.

Only a gasp left his lips. He didn't even manage to react to your statement; his dick was already in your warm mouth.

"Fuck!" You heard him say under his breath. Not having a gag reflex was a blessing, since he was big enough and hit the back of your throat right away. Your head moved slowly up and down as you hand cupped his balls making him grip the bed sheets and moan your name. Hearing him say your name all hot and bothered only made you want him even more.

Your pace became faster, with each movement his dick would hit your throat and every time he would moan.

"Baby!" He called but you didn't answer.

"Please, don't make me cum!" Your ears registered. He was begging.

"Please, don't wanna –"

His words. The desperation in his voice was sweet like honey – music for your ears. You didn't stop though, you wanted to listen to him beg a little bit more.

"Baby –"

His dick was hitting your throat every time and it felt too good to stop.

"Please –"

His words – too melodic and desperate to pull away.

"I'm gonna –"

Until you finally pulled away. His head hit the pillow and in relief he let out a sign when you got back up to kiss him

"Going insane, handsome?" You teased.

"Teasin' me like that darlin' – Jesus Christ– yeah a little bit."

You kissed him again, swallowing his short exhales, smiling into the kiss. "I couldn't resist, you're cute when you beg."

And with that he flipped you over by wrapping his hands around your body. With ease, like you were a ragdoll. A squeal echoed in the room. Your fingers followed his face lines; on his forehead, cheeks all the way to his lips, your thumb, brushing against his lower lip. You had never seen his face up close, every line was a perfect puzzle piece on his face, his eyes were dark, tired but filled with warmth. He was a work of art, nothing more, nothing less.

"You're so handsome, Joel."

He didn't know how to react. He forgot how to take compliments, so he just kissed you, almost wanting to absorb your words through your lips. He liked them – he liked you, very much.

"You're beautiful, darlin'." He said, stroking your hair.

"I never thought you'd go for a young lady like me." You told him, your hands around his torso, pulling him as close as possible.

"And I never knew you'd go for an old man like me." He smiled, his face inches away from yours – noses barely touching.

You frowned. "You ain't old."

"Sure darlin'." He smiled softly before kissing you again.

It wasn't a dream. It wasn't a daydream. He was healing the wounds in your soul with each kiss. He was gluing you back together; like you were a broken vase; not even knowing that he was the glue. It was strange to finally feel an ounce of happiness – true authentic happiness; considering the situation and the enormous grief surrounding you in that house. He made everything go away.

A pathetic whine left your lips as he entered you. He was big, bigger than any guy you had slept with and the blissful sensation was fused with light discomfort before completely melting with pleasure. Joel kissed the skin just underneath your ear.

"Are you okay?" He whispered.

"Y-yeah. Fuck me!" You whispered back.

Slowly he started to move, establishing the pace. With each thrust, your fingers pulled his hair, with each pull he moaned. It seemed that he waited for you long enough. You were now his and only his to consume.

Your legs wrapped around his waist pulling him closer to hit that sweet spot, your ex was incapable of hitting without cumming in two seconds. Sloppy kisses and love bites as the pace got faster. The room filled with moans, groans and whimpers. Time stopped – it was just you and him.

Joel suddenly stopped and took your legs, placing them on his shoulders. You watched him as he slowly leaned in to kiss you as he started moving again– faster and harder. You had no idea you were that flexible.

"OH MY GOD!!" You screamed feeling him hit that sweet, sweet spot over and over again.

He took your face squeezing your cheeks between fingers, forcing you to look at him.

"Not God, Joel!" He smirked as he was fucking you.

You giggled. "Funny, old man!"

Your body wasn't hurting, he bent you over in half; like a piece of paper; you could see your feet dangling in the air as he was pounding into you.

"Joel, Joel, Joel!!!"

"There we go! Come on baby! Cum! Cum for me!" His words were unexpected; since no one has ever cared enough to say them. No one has ever cared enough to see you come undone.

You dug your fingers into his back, feeling the waves of pleasure consuming you completely.

"Gonna–"

"Fuck–"

"JOEL!"

For the second time you fell apart under him. Your body was completely drenched in sweat as you let the pleasure run through you. He still didn't stop, he was eager to cum; to have that release and fill you up. He wondered if he could.

You lifted your head up and kissed him. "Cum in me, handsome!"

"C-can I?" He asked, barely able to speak. He was close – really close – he just wanted to make sure you were okay with it.

"I'm on the pill," you reassured him. "Please, Joel!"

The desperate plea was all it took for him to completely lose himself. He stopped moving, his body twitching in pleasure as he filled you up. The sound of him moaning and groaning as he couldn't keep your name out of his mouth was something you never knew you'd hear.

You felt him fill you up completely, before he pulled out, collapsing next to you.

He was aware that this wasn't just a meaningless fuck and you knew you were already falling for him.

***

A few months later

Your alarm went off as you pressed snooze. It was time to seize yet another day but after another 5 minutes and another and another... You rolled on your side to find the other half of the bed empty.

"Joel?" You mumbled, still feeling groggy.

When you finally got the strength to actually get up, you found him in the kitchen making pancakes.

"Mornin'," you said, rubbing your eyes.

"I was about to wake you up darlin', we're already late." He said, placing a kiss on your forehead.

It was a rainy day in The Big Apple and you would much rather stay in your beloved loft than go outside and be a productive member of society. Unfortunately, you had dreams to catch and money to make.

"Didn't they tell us the rehearsal is at noon?" You asked, taking one pancake from the plate.

"Darlin' it's 11am." He told you. You didn't realize you had been snoozing your phone for an hour.

"Do we have to go though? We already had two gigs there and we played the same shit. I know my chords.," you whined. As much as you love playing, you really wanted to stay in.

"Yes, we have to. Tonight is some kind of fancy jazz night, remember? We will be playing different songs."

You completely forgot about that.

"Shit! Well, it's your fault old man! Your stamina is so high, we always end up fucking like rabbits almost every single night for like 5 hours!" You teased and smacked his ass playfully.

"Seriously?" He said with a bitch face as he watched you leave to go to the bathroom to get ready.

"Love you, handsome!" He heard you say.

"Love you too, darlin'." He said and flipped the last pancake.

#joel miller fic #joel miller #joel miller smut #joel miller x y/n #joel miller fluff #joel miller x reader #joel miller x reader smut #the last of us hbo #joel tlou #daddy joel #joel x reader #joel miller x reader fic #joel miller x you #the last of us smut #the last of us fluff #the last of us fanfiction #the last of us #tlou hbo

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spacebarbarianweird · 29 days ago

Text

The Dhampirs of the Sword Coast - Chapter 6. Cazador's Grandkids

Alethaine and Theris go for a vampire hunt and witness what happens if there are too many dhampirs and very few vampires.

Initially I wasn't planning to let Alethaine know what exactly Astarion endured but sorry not sorry now our favourite baby dhampir is traumatized, too

TW: Mentions of SA

Read on AO3

Link for Part 1, Part 2, Part 3 Part 4 Part 5

Thanks @themadlu for beta-reading!

The List of Chapters

Masterlist

Headcanons

Theris (Tiefling/Bard) - age 27. Chaotic Neutral

Alethaine (High Elf/Necromancer) - age 25. Astarion's daughter. Lawful Neutral

Harnotir (Dwarf\Barbarian) - Conspirologist and extremely paranoid. His mother was one of the recent Cazador's victims and managed to return to normal life among her own kind.

Eben and Eren (Half-Elves \ Twilight Hunters) - Dalyria's twin-sons, the first of the dhampirs born in this generation. They are her personal hounds but have their own hidden motives vampires are not aware of.

Sven (Human\Fighter) - He is an idealist and has high morals. He believes it is possible to create a Dhampir Freehold, a “kingdom of his own”. He was kicked out by his own mother, who was ashamed of having a Dhampir child.

Ulsha refused to let Mierni go and watch someone kill a vampire. She also refused to leave the human wizard boy alone in that “hellish cabaret”, forcing the bard and the necromancer to go on their own.

Asmodea just shrugged it away saying that she will pay only those who will hunt the vampires.

“Did you see how Ulsha looked at the dancers?” Theris whispers. “I would bet my cock that she is into vaginas.”

“Or maybe she wants to choose a damsel to save from a life in sin,” Alethaine shrugs.

The dhampirs have followed the vampire’s scent like two hounds. By the time night falls, they have already reached some abandoned tavern in the ruins of a town.

“Which is technically the same,” Theris says.

“Theris, not everything is about fucking,” Alethaine has gotten tired of Theris bringing up sex every time he can and can’t.

“Alethaine, let me ask you a question…”

“No”

“...What are you into?”

“I am into you shutting the fuck up. Stop!”

The tiefling abides.

Alethaine sniffs the air. Yes, the vampire they are looking for is there. A full-fledged vampire in the inn. Strong, full of blood, ready to attack.

“It’s got me thinking…” Theris mutters. “It’s stupid to go hunting a vampire at night.”

“We can wait till morning starts.”

“Nah, it will run away.” Theris takes his viola out then stares at the instrument confusingly. “Shit, wrong tool. Wait a second” He takes out a dagger. “Let’s kill them!”

The tiefling and the elf approach the tavern. It looks more or less habitable, which is probably why the vampire has made it its daylight shelter.

They also detect another presence, weaker and smaller.

“Probably a spawn,” Alethaine whispers.

“Fuck, let’s force it to come out.”

Alethaine nods but the moment she heads to the door someone beats her to it.

“You!” a young dwarf screams. “THIS IS OUR SPOT!”

Before Alethaine realizes what is going on the dwarf screams “RAGE!!!” and bares his obvious dhampir fangs. Instead of biting, he swings his hammer.

Alethaine sidesteps and the hammer gets stuck in the ground.

“THIS IS OUR FUCKING SPOT! WE’LL HUNT THIS VAMPIRE!” he yells. “GET THE FUCK OUT!”

“Hey, let my sister go!” Theris stabs the dwarf.

“A scratch!” the raging barbarian spits blood. “I can regenerate, you moron!”

“I do, too!” Alethaine objects getting up.

A young human, maybe about twenty years old, comes out of a bush. He smiles like one of those idiots who think themselves great diplomats. He has blonde hair and olive skin covered in vitiligo spots.

“Harnotir, let the elf go,” he asks. “Name’s Sven. And my friend is right, this is our hunt and you are being rude for trying to take it from us.”

Harnotir drops his rage and puts the hammer back.

“My mother told me to never trust an elf. ‘Harnotir,’ she used to tell me, ‘I once trusted an elf I’d met in Baldur Gate and ended up in a cell for a decade after being turned into a vampire!’ I don’t trust elves. I don't trust tieflings. I don’t trust anyone for fuck’s sake. Let’s kill them!”

Alethaine takes out her dagger. “Don’t fucking approach me!”

Sven raises his hands. “I wasn’t planning to, but Yousen the Gnome is ours.”

“Yousen? One of the seven?” Theris asks. "Why is he not in Underdark?”

“Who knows?” Sven shrugs. “But he’s been out here for a while and the locals would love to get rid of him.”

“We were promised a pay too!” Aletaine says.

Sven opens his mouth as if to sigh and closes his eyes. “Dear sister, hope you don’t mind me calling you like that?”

“I do mind.”

“... The vampires are plenty, so are we. We must secure our spots and not interfere with others.”

Theris chokes on his own spit.

“Like sex workers?”

“I don’t like this comparison,” Sven smiles. “But it hits close to home. Hey, where are you going? It’s not fair!”

Alethaine easily knocks the door down. “Life isn't fair, brother!”

The tavern is full of dust and smells like shit.

“Go fuck yourself little shits!” The vampire in question, a very weirdly looking gnome jumps on the table to be at least on the same eye level as the rest. “I am not going to die today!”

Alethaine tries to grab the gnome’s neck, but before she manages to do it someone screams “BLOOD BOIL!” and Yousen vomits red bile.

A young half-elven woman with ebony-dark skin jumps from the ceiling and kicks the vampire. Before he manages to fight back, she has already seized him and thrown him against the wall.

“Is it some trending game for you all?” Yousen hisses. “Kick a gnome? Fuck!”

Another gnome, pale as death, unsheathes the shortsword and crushes it against Yousen’s head.

The vampire rushes to the door where he stops by Sven who pushes him back inside.

“Guys, cousins, siblings, if we don’t learn how to cooperate we are a doomed case!”

“GET IN LINE BITCHES GET IN LINE!” Yousen screams as dhampirs surround him.

Theris squeezes through the dhampirs to get closer to the gnome.

“Hi.”

“What are you staring at, boy?” The gnome bares his fangs.

Theris gasps.

“It’s very rude to assume someone’s gender by simply looking at them!”

Yousen opens his huge mouth and laughs. “I didn’t spend fifteen decades as Cazador’s spawn to guess someone's gender. I want to live on the surface, drink the blood of beautiful virgins, and live my fucking undead life!”

The dark-skinned half-elf kicks him in the stomach and makes him vomit blood again.

Blood witch, Alethane realizes.

The female gnome casts a particularly scary shadow, but the dhampirs are too preoccupied with each other to get scared by it.

And a shadowcaster, Alethaine thinks.

“Ha!” Yousen exclaims. “All three types have come for me.”

“Excuse me?” Alethaine says.

“Didn’t you know there is some stupid law of nature?” Yousen says. “Every other female dhampir is a sorceress. Necromancers, blood witches, and shadow casters. And you stink of death more than all of them, so you are the first type. Girls, girls. You would all be very pretty if you weren’t that mean.” He sniffs the air and tries to grab Alethaine. “And you also stink like my brother in death. Silver hair, pointy elven ears. You are Astarion’s, am I right?”

Alethaine steps back. “Yes?”

Yousen twists his mouth. “Do you look like a nun on purpose or your daddy just didn't want you to end up a street whore like he did?”

“What the fuck are you talking about?” Alethaine asks.

“Oh no hard feelings. Cazador was a fucking pervert. Listen, kids,” Yousen looks at them. “Let’s do it this way. You let me go.”

“We can just kill you,” Harnotir takes his hammer.

“And what next?” Yousen smiles. “You will fucking kill each other trying to get a dime for my head. And I can just spare you a feud. Am I right, Sven?” He hisses.

Sven shakes his head. “No, this is our spot, and me and Harnotir are going to kill and drag your ashes to …“

Alethaine casts the fear spell on the human but misses. Before she can realize hergrave mistake, Harnotir is already in a rage and Theris…

Starts aggressively playing the viola…

“Bardic inspiration!” Theris casts quickly.

“AAAAAARGH!” Harnotir yells.

Yousen, taking advantage of the dhampirs fighting each other, rushes to the door. Alethaine wants to follow him, but the shadowcaster and the blood witch attack her.

The gnome vampire barely reaches the tavern’s door before screaming in agony, his body is thrown against the wall once again.

“Silver,” Sven mutters.

All the dhampirs stop at once and form a circle around Yousen, fearing to touch the curse metal.

Alethaine gulps watching silver chains marking deep scars on the vampire’s skin.

Two tall figures, half-elven men, enter the tavern. They look almost identical and move swiftly like shadows.

“Eben and Eren,” Yousen says. “Always together, inseparable butchers.”

“Hello uncle,” one of them says. “Long time no see”

Alethaine steps back.

She remembers Ulsha mentioning them. Dalyria’s sons, the first dhampirs born after Cazador’s murder. The butchers of the Underdark.

“Sorry, cousins,” Eren says. “But mother wants her brother back.”

“What is Dalyria up to now? I’ve heard she left Underdark.” Yousen tries to get up but it’s obvious the chains cause him pain.

“She left one wretched place for a more fertile one,” the twins say together. “Now she has her place among mortals. Makes for a better hunt.”

“And why does she want me? I thought she hated me.”

“Nonsense,” the twins say.

The blood witch interferes.

“Who do you think you are?” she demands. “He belongs to our coven! We need him!”

The twins make a weird facial expression, as if she said a nasty joke.

“Coven? Do you want to be a vampire so bad? We are taking him to our mother, whether you like it or not.”

Yousen hisses as the chains keep burning his skin. “Release me, I won’t run.”

“Sorry, but our mother wants you in chains.”

“Ha! Fucking pervert. I knew she secretly loved all these chains and whip things the master used to inflict upon us. Though if she wanted my gnomic cock so bad, she could ask and not use her fatherless sons to do the dirty job!”

Harnotir kicks him as if the gnome offended his mother, not the twins’, but the vampire only laughs.

“Boy, there is no point in being offended. All of Cazador’s victims were seduced. There is a 1 to 7 chance I myself brought home your vampire parent after a very nasty and dirty night of whatever the fuck it could be in those dirty streets beds.”

Alethaine feels ashamed and disgusted at the same time.

Of course, she suddenly realized.

Of course.

Now the puzzle has come together. She remembers.

Astarion, her father, yelling at a stranger for touching him.

Him beating the shit out of some pimps in Secomber.

His “thank gods” when she told him she wasn’t interested in boys, girls, or anyone.

His weird understanding of anything intimate or physiological.

Astarion, her father, wasn’t hunting and attacking people to bring them to his master because he wanted to.

He was forced to sleep with them.

Alethaine steps back.

It’s unfair. It’s dirty. It’s evil.

No one deserved to be sold to others! Not this gnome, not anyone else.

Not her dad.

Not him.

Before Alethaine realizes what is going on, she is already outside in the night, her eyes teary and hands trembling.

Theris follows her leaving the dhampirs to deal with Yousen.

“Hey! Wait! Are you alright?”

“Did you know?” Alethane asks. “How… Everyone ended up there? At the dungeons?”

Theris bites his lower lip. “I heard of it. Sex, death, pain, 7,000 spawns, and an unknown number of dhampirs. Besides… Well, a dirty family secret for a dirty family secret. I am a rape child. A vampire attacked my mother. I don’t know why she kept me in the first place to throw me away when I was four anyway.”

Alethaine sits on the cold ground. “Weird, huh? Does it really matter if my father just attacked victims and brought them to Cazador or slept with them first? The result is the same anyway. But for some reason, it sounds much worse.”

Theris turns away. “Dooming someone for an eternity on your master's orders is one thing. But when you are forced to open your legs up first, it means you don’t even own your body anymore.”

Alethaine presses her face against her knees.

The door of the inn opens wide and the twins leave into the night holding a small sack in their hands. The blood witch and the shadowcaster follow them like two stray dogs trying to retrieve the sack but the twins are faster and stronger.

Yousen is coming to his sister, whether he wants it or not.

Sven and Harnotir approach Alethaine and Theris.

“We need to learn how to cooperate,” Sven says, watching the dark. “Those are two rude individuals.”

Harnotir grips the hammer. “Half-elves are the worst.”

Alethaine croaks. “Cooperate? What for?”

Sven sits beside her like an older brother trying to explain something to his younger sister. “Because one day we will need a home. A place of our own. And we need to cooperate. To solve issues together. Not being the hounds of our vampire parents. Not being slaves to our mortal origin. We need to understand we are a different nation. And we will thrive once we do.”

Harnotir frowns. He isn't fond of this idea, Alethaine realizes.

“...Rolling down to Dhampir Freehold, me boys, rolling down to Dhampir Freehold,” Theris hums. “We are homeward bound from the surface ground.”

Sven smiles. “Dhampir Freehold! Yes! Our promised land! You are a genius, bard!”

Theris blushes but pretends that praise is always expected for what he does.

Suddenly, Alethaine feels the presence of another vampire.

A spawn!

Alethaine jumps on her feet and follows the scent. Asmodea didn’t mention anything about two vampires, they can just bring her an underfed spawn and get money. Alethaine decides to return to the inn.

Theris, Sven, and Harnotir follow her, demanding that they want a fair share if the asshole is there.

Alethaine finds a small hatch in the basement and opens it.

“Who is there?” Theris asks pushing Harnotir and Sven aside.

The vampire screeches and hides in the corner.

And then cries.

“Oh no,” Alethaine mutters, kneeling in front of the spawn.

A girl who will forever stay three years old bursts into tears.

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