#and he totally mistakes aesthetic attraction with romantic attraction

[skull-ishcloud]

Saw your post about Rick not really having great execution, and...yeah that checks out.

I think one of my biggest gripes with the Heroes of Olympus is that a lot of things just...aren't followed through? Like, don't get me wrong, I still like the series, but there are some things that kind of bother me.

The one that really sticks out to me is the whole Tartarus aftermath. Like, there had to have been some sort of trauma response Percy and Annabeth went through. I know it was a middle grade series, but it just felt super glossed over, like Rick didn't want to have to deal with those consequences. Same for Nico and him being in Tartarus too.

Another thing is that I wish there had been more depth to Hazel and her own trauma with being brought back from the dead. Like, she seems to be SUPER well adjusted, but didn't she only just come back from the underworld? Again, it just felt like Rick didn't follow through.

And the whole Calypso and Leo thing bugs me just as much.

Sorry for the essay, lol. Your post kinda just awoke some feelings I had about Rick and his writing. Incidentally, this is why I'm not too thrilled for "The Sun and the Star." I'm worried it won't be executed well.

Don't ever be sorry for making an essay out of an interest of yours. I loved it btw...

I agree with you specially on the Tartarus part, I feel like he is trying to explore too much of it suddenly. Like it's a rite of passage or something. Percabeth theorically got a "bonding period" so solangelo has to get one too.

I don't know... I think the Bob thing is important and all, but idk about you but for me his case was pretty much closed like he died in HoO. Like he could have gone to somewhere else like a new idea. Explore Nico's trauma as you said.

In my opinion he is just trying to sell more books using the same characters through some kind of fan service. Like let's release a random ass book Abt Percy getting into college, or Nico and his boyfriend bc he's gay and he has to have a romantic partner. (I'm not gonna lie I thought solangelo was pretty neat at first but that love at first sight bothered me)

Don't get me wrong I think wills character (as an idea) is nice like you don't have to punch people to be important. You can help people, even if your history only remembers killers. But like Magnus (Chase) is kinda like this already so... He just recycled the character.

Oh almost forgot about hazel... I think it's super important like her interaction with 21st century, like the only mention (I remember) is chicken nuggets, so basically it's just used as humor. "She's old lol"

On caleo I feel like I don't even need to elaborate. Cause like it's CALEO. It's damsel-in-distress Calypso. It's totally-not-ready-for-a-relationship Leo. And RR's amatonnorm "fase".

[bigtopveggie]

Ship Bias - I WANNA BOTHER U TOO

Send ‘Ship Bias’ and I will share up ships I have a bias for for my muse 💚

Midori x Hajime

Ok ok ok, I really see this as Hajime being unapologetically open about finding Midori really fucking hot and it is very girlboss, that takes balls, especially towards someone who's known to have rejected so many girls. Hajime is shown to be very honest about compliments with some romantic/flirty undertones, but with Midori it like. A step next. It's heartthrob moment.

I like how Midori is also flustered by Hajime's compliments, but not in a way he is uncomfortable unlike with girls who confess to him or with Chiaki's skinship. He takes it genuinely, and that is something that is not easy. Midori is comfortable with Hajime, he finds him soothing and soft. I do see Midori subconsciously having this comfy feeling with Hajime like he does with a mascot given how he is said to be so pretty and cute, almost ethereally so. They are a miniature Chiakana.

Just this emotional trust coming from Midori means so much, and even unlike with Yuzuru, he does not feel pressure to be his best self : he can just be himself. Hajime is his friend. And not only his friend, but I do think the most peaceful AND close friendship Midori has, with the both of them having interests and personality that merge well with one another. They just naturally get along, and it is something Midori needs so, SO much to be happy.

On the other side, Hajime struggles to be seen as something more than his idol persona ... and Midori does just that. Midori has no interest in gossip, or even in idols in general, he is very open about not giving a single crap about it all, and he only sees Hajime as the boy he is. His clubmate, his friend he enjoys being around. And that is so precious for two boys with the same objective in life to just exist and ( cottagecore ) vibing. The only reason to me that they have not interacted more is just that Ryuseitai and Ra*bits do not cross path that often !

Midori x Hiyori

Whimsical City Rider has me in a chokehold too. Ok, ok, those two have had literally one story together but it meant so much. First of all, I mean, the classic boy next door and rich boy totally disconnected from the real world. Like, even in Jun's case, he's had enough drama in his life to be exceptional, but ... Midori is just a guy. The hilarity of it all.

Then just ... Midori has never met someone he actually aspire to be, he both sees Hiyori as attractive ( ?! Midori never found someone attractive before outside mascots ?! ), the ideal idol and even the embodiment of a mascot in a human. There's just so much to unpack here. How easily Hiyori was able to make Midori at ease with his antics, making him forget his intimidating reputation as somene from Eden. Hiyori encouraging Midori to just be himself and love what he loves ... How Midori can be both attracted to Hiyori and Hiyori being the type of man Midori would want to be ?! Like this is a possibility I never thought of before reading this story and YES I SEE IT. Hiyori likes cute and pretty things, they have that same type of aesthetic, only Midori is still shy and trying to find his roots. They have the same vibe in so many things, only coming from different socioeconomic classes ... !

Then there's the value of Midori in Hiyori's life. The bike teaching ? Right out of a romcom I'm just weeping. There's this aspect of Midori that is down to earth that feels so refreshing with narratives around Hiyori's privileged life, with the absence of imbalance in power dynamics. Usually, I do not really like those type of stories, but they really made it so Hiyori does not appear entirely stupid, he makes mistakes out of ignorance that are more probable without making him appear totally stupid. If they were to interact more, I'd love for Hiyori to see more things to look up to in Midori, as I believe his focus was on making everyone have a good time, with the bike riding being the one time he allowed himself to think about his own joy.

Overall, the two together ? I think they are just so adorable. Midori is pretty ... Hiyori likes pretty things very much, can we have a scene of him bringing Midori to Pretty 5 ? I enjoy how much Hiyori challenges Midori mentally, without taxing him emotionally. Unlike Chiaki, Subaru and co., Hiyori is actually paying attention to Midori's emotional state and this is just ... chef's kiss, so healthy. Love it. And in the same way, I feel like Hiyori knows that, since Midori is not involved in any drama or complications of the sort, he can have fun without worry or baggage, and this ... this is a pandora's box ready to open. It can be so so good ... !

[princeescaluswords]

Would you believe me if I said that I dislike (and did left) the Teen Wolf fandom purely because there's too many Stiles fics? I mean, yeah yeah I get it. Fandom Stiles is a cool, very smart, very witty, totally a mom-pack kind of guy, but where's my lovable sunshine Scott McCall where he actually has those traits, canonically?

I don't hate Stiles, per say. I think he's a lovable smartass, but the fandom version of him is... Ridiculously kind and nice— to the point I kept mistaking him as Scott— just made me dislike the fics I read as a whole. Especially if Derek/Peter is in the mix (usually as a love interest). Killed my mood for reading what I thought will be a good fic, but it ended up just as a whole "Giving a character's traits onto my favorite character cuz I'm the author and I don't give OOC tags haha sucks for you" shebang.

If I may, I think I will try to distill the essence of what I suspect is at the root of your discontent: you dislike the Teen Wolf fandom because most of the people in it are not fans of Teen Wolf.

They don't approach participation in the fandom as a celebration of what is on the screen. They approach it as a source of raw materials for their own use. If I may use a radical simile, it's like the Europeans descending on Africa and the Americas to strip the lands of its valuables and take those resources back to their home countries with no regard for what might actually already exist there.

Take Stiles Stilinski. As far as I can tell, they like Stiles because he's neurodivergent, insecure, and marked by tragedy but also because he was played by an aesthetically pleasing white boy. They dislike the fact that he was also portrayed as impulsive and mean, that he could be selfish and manipulative, and that he frequently acted as if anyone outside the small circle of people he cared about could die if it would protect those he was loyal to (which meant death to Derek, Peter, Jackson, Erica, Boyd, and Liam at various times). So they take only the parts they like in order to satisfy their own needs, most frequently romantic scenarios with older men or petty revenge on their childhood friends who they see as having wronged them. That's why Derek suddenly cares only for Stiles and hates Scott, or why they write Scott as "ditching" Stiles for Allison or Isaac or Kira or Liam or popularity or for adulthood, because that's what they perceive their childhood friends as doing to them. It doesn't matter that Scott never did any of that.

Take Derek Hale. Again, they lust after Derek because he's a rich, white, brooding, incredibly attractive scion of what, in many other urban fantasy stories, would pass for werewolf nobility. To them, he's a tragic Lost Prince who deserves to regain what was taken from him simply because he fits the aristocratic archetype. They dislike the fact that the show argued that his overwhelming tragedy does not justify him inflicting violence or practicing deception on others. They dislike the fact that the show had him look to its lead protagonist as a path forward and not set the world back to the days of Hale rule. So, once again, they take only the parts they like satisfying chronically popular tropes from a time when the only stories worth telling were the ones about high-born domination. It's why Beacon Hills is so often described as "Hale Land" with its implied mystical connotation, why born werewolves are praised over bitten, and why concepts such as "territory" and "left hand" appear in their fiction with absolutely zero base in canon.

Take Scott McCall. You would think that they would see the value in an asthmatic loser who gets the chance to pursue his dreams only to set them aside to protect other people, but that's the farthest from the truth. From Heart Monitor onward, the main component of Scott's story is his calling to protect others, even when it requires physical and emotional sacrifice from him. But why would they want to engage with a character whose arc insists that he consistently endure suffering and loss to protect others, even people they might not actually like? That's not why they came to the show. Scott overcomes his flaws and weaknesses to win; he's not treated as if he deserves to win for simply existing. What type of fantasy is that? And anyway, to them he's the wrong color and he doesn't obey the ones who are the right color. So, he gets moved to the Naughty List, whether that be as Fool, Annoyance, Antagonist, or Outright Villain; he's the character they can pin their frustrations on, which they have been culturally trained to target. It's why when they talk about how horribly he used Derek in Master Plan, the fandom never comes out and say that Scott should have let Allison be murdered by her grandfather. They can barely remember she is in the scene at all. It's why when they talk about Lies of Omission, the fandom pretends that Stiles doesn't have a history of lying, of suggesting murder as a solution, or of violence in defense of his father. The only thing they're interested in from these scenes is that they represent ways to remove Scott from his position as lead antagonist.

If I may be so bold, and forgive me if I cross a line, I suggest that when you feel there are too many stories about Stiles what you are really feeling is that there are too many stories about a stripped-down and mutated husk of Stiles. They've pulled a complex, rewarding character out of all context, snipped off the parts they didn't like, and presented him to the rest of fandom like Simba being presented in The Lion King. They've looted the show you enjoy and set up their pillaged version in AO3 like the Elgin Marbles in the British Museum. You're one of the people who are aesthetically displeased by this butchery. I'm another.

Now, because I like to provide some hard evidence to my assertions, I will point out one indicator for you. On AO3 as of last night, there were 1697 stories tagged Bad Friend Scott McCall (Teen Wolf). I will constrain myself to the ones who actually claim the tag, though I believe that there are far more stories that indulge in this that are unlabeled.

Defenders of the 'fandom' will argue that fanfiction is 'transformational' and thus it is perfectly acceptable to twist or abandon canon entirely in order to tell a story, that the strength of this particular medium is how it embroiders and expands on the original. My problem with this is that this 'transformation' only goes in certain directions. If writing stories like this is about exploring alternatives to canon, why are there only 13 Bad Friend Stiles Stilinski stories? Shouldn't the central relationship of the show be explored in all its different variations?

In this baker's dozen of stories, two of them are about reconciliation between Scott and Stiles; three of them are described that way because Stiles opposes the Thiam ship (pardon me while I roll my eyes); two of them are Stiles-centric where his bad behavior is used to give him more angst; and two are satire and/or parody (full disclosure - one of them is mine).

But you know what doesn't happen? In none of them is Stiles murdered, maimed, or even beaten for being a bad friend to Scott, which is a common result in Bad Friend Scott stories (don't believe, there's a whole collection "101 Ways to Kill Scott McCall"). In none of which is Stiles's power stripped from him, none in which he is imprisoned, and none in which he is exiled from Beacon Hills, which also happens to Scott often. Maybe there just aren't enough written.

So, yes, I believe you when you feel alienated by the fandom to the point of leaving it. I would argue that this is their goal, to drive out those who would oppose their great work, but I suspect the truth is that they simply don't care. They have vast numbers of 'fans' on their side as they strip-mine the television show we enjoyed and turn the fandom into an aesthetic dumpster fire of racism and self-indulgence.

[puppy-phum]

fandom - the untamed! 👀

oh i haven't thought about cql in ages but i put on my playlist for it just for this so here we go. enjoy the ride! (i sure as hell did ♥)

001 | Send me a fandom and I will tell you my:

Favorite character: Jiang Cheng i have talked about him a million times but i still find it funny how i didn't really like him at first. the donghua version of him felt like a total ass, and as the donghua lacked the ending back then and didn’t give me closure, only during the live action i grew fond of him. he has made his fair share of mistakes but i love how flawed he is and how much his character promises hope of growth ♥

Least Favorite character: Jin Guangshan bitch ass man can go burn in hell for all i care

5 Favorite ships (canon or non-canon): XiCheng, WangXian, NieMo , SongXiao, Jiang Yanli + Jin Zixuan ♥

Character I find most attractive: Lan Wangji and Lan Xichen i truly cannot choose between the twin jades of lan. they are both just so beautiful. there's such grace in both of them and i love it how different yet similar they are. i could write poems about their beauty but also just about their characters and their bond.

Character I would marry: Wen Qing my wife ♥ idk if i would truly marry any of the cql characters but i wouldn't say no to her haha 

Character(s) I would be best friends with: The One Braincell Trio i would absolutely drink myself under the table with jc, wwx, and nhs. it would be so much fun. as long as we don't get sad drunk hhhh

a random thought: our juniors are just a new generation of leaders in the making and in my head, ljy will become the chief cultivator, mark my words

An unpopular opinion: uuuhh idk if i have any. it truly has been too long. i cannot get into details, am sorry. 

My Canon OTP: WangXian they are the epitome of true love, of soulmates, of star-crossed lovers, of everything that is good in this dark world. they have all the tropes in them i love. they are both such strong and independent ppl but find gentleness, warmth, and easiness in each other. they make a home. they have defeated death, and if that isn't enough, then idk what to tell you. 

My Non-canon OTP: XiCheng they are two ppl attempting to heal together. they are fire and ice, storm and calm, winter and summer. they meet between the river and the mountain. but i think what mostly attracted me to them was the promise of hope and healing and finding love when it had once been lost. 

Most Badass Character: Lan Wangji only based on how he looks when he fights like. hell. that looks stunning?? he was born to wield a sword i swear (honorary mention goes to his husband yiling patriarch bc will we ever get over those wonderful vibes? never)

Most Epic Villain: Nie Huaisang our master mind ♥ he and his intelligence astonish me. he's just so cool. idk if we can properly count him as a villain bc who truly is a villain in cql (other than like. wen ruohan?? who just got cringe with his emo villain aesthetic byeee) but he is our Big Bad Guy in the end. he is a villain - yet also some type of hero. and doesn't that just make him even more epic?

Pairing I am not a fan of: ChengYi there are actually several similar ships (like wwx and wn or lxc and nmj etc.) that i find kind of... weird? or where i can only see friendship or familiarity/family bonds instead of romantic feelings. but everyone can like what they like. more for you. (also chengyi bothers me when on twt i go through cheng yi’s (the actor) tag and suddenly i get jc x ljy porn thrown at my face like,,, god dammit)

Character I feel the writers screwed up (in one way or another): The Women i guess we all will die on the hill that cql women deserved better.

Favourite Friendship: Wei Wuxian and Wen Qing i love their bickering and their care for each other and their companionship. i also love how wq is the only person on this earth who can put wwx in his place. that man needs to hear the cold truth sometimes which is that he's an idiot. the smartest idiot in the world mayhaps but an idiot nonetheless. also imagine if they had both been allowed to live, they could've ruled the world sigh. we support powerful besties in this house.

Character I most identify with: Jiang Cheng under the anger and him being a bitch, i do find similarities between us. we have insecurities that cripple us at times; we regard love and family most of all in complicated ways. we don't know what to say to those we care about and struggle with emotions. we suck at accepting gifts too, even if his case is a bit more extreme than my average gift received from a friend :'D

Character I wish I could be: Jin Ling i adore this tiny brat even if he is, indeed, a brat ♥ but imagine how cool it would be, all responsibilities aside, to be him: you are the nephew of half the notorious ppl of the cultivator world. any time you have a problem, you just call one uncle for help. you also have a lot of dead uncles and you're an orphan bc of some of them but :) let's ignore that pain. you would be the coolest amongst your peers. absolutely bonkers.

thank you for sending me this ask! have a very good day ^^ ♥

[dirtyrottenraskel]

my take on yueki's personalities

yue 

notes / personality

cocky (but also like understated confidence - r e g a l af) 

kind of a nerd

maybe a little entitled, and a little bratty and suki loves to indulge her or to rile her up depending on her mood

books

seems soft but made of steel

strong sense of duty

socially intelligent - can be manipulative and suki (the dork) thinks it is so hot 

aloof queen bee typa beat

supportive, both in ur day to day and in going after your big moral life goals 

deep water - steady and powerful, often underestimated

untold depths, private yet surprisingly nurturing - master of deflecting away from herself

political nerd - well read, and when she has someone she trusts not to take advantage of her, she goes OFF 

distrusting of most people, has been used and ignored and underestimated her whole life

patient - homegirl knows how to play the long game

excellent at pai sho / chess 

she and suki have epic battles of wits - dif types of strategy but both are really into it and get a little too competitive (multiple board games have had to be replaced over the years)

loves travel bc wasn’t allowed to much, esp when she was sick 

was super repressed growing up - never let her be herself or really have any sort of independence

used to sneak out and wander around in rebellion and casually sabotage plans and decisions she didn’t agree with 

introverted, many opinions but keeps them to herself, discreet but well spoken

weaponizes secrets and information - doesn’t often use it but...she could

definitlyyyyy worries and overthinks and re-evaluates - worries ab social politics a lot

obsessive about picking things - wants it to be perfect

shes growing into her confidence as a leader

prefers quite intimate places

incredibly romantic

classic lit

planner for the future - visionary

kind / sweet / gentle - yes, but that’s also her “front” to a degree (seriously, i feel like she gets painted as so sweet and submissive and one dimensional by the fandom a lot of times and it freakin kills me)

INFJ-T (The Advocate) ((yes this is from 16p which i know is not super accurate but u can still catch her overall vibes from it ya know)

Creative/insightful/principled/compassionate/altruistic

sensitive/reluctant to open up/perfectionist/prone to burnout/not a fan of the ordinary

friendships / relationships

(<> indicates that they’re one of her best friends)

sokka - puppy love crushes, laugh ab it now, get into deep late night talks about responsibilities and leading, water tribe culture, prank wars (no one believes sokka when he says yue is a mean prank master (expect suki comes to see it in action lol))

katara - <> badass women friendship, totally would go to matches and protests together, tough girl shit, waterbending practice/duels - start of cautious, but then get rough in a good way bc they trust each other, they do water tribe food adventures together

toph - indulges her chaos, bonding over stupid royal upbringings, odd yet weirdly endearing pair

zuko - both sort of standoffish gay royals, but once they come to see that they are friends - take up similar spaces though, so only hang out in a group or rarely by themselves, they do hang out at like political parties and stuff when they get more comfortable together

aang - <> he has an impressive world view, yue is super studied and well read, so she and aang nerd out over past cultures together, and also their peace keeping nature, they have tea together often - usually after she and katara wipe the floor w/ each other

clothing / aesthetic:

blues and pale colors

classy and understated wealth

like those cute feminine button down shirts

dresses

like cold weather classy

complicated braids

sort of soft girl aesthetic?

pleated skirts !!!

i feel like she would wear ethically sourced fur (i don’t wear fur but idk how to get it in an ethical way - maybe it’s just fake??)

knit sweaters and skinny jeans and heeled ankle boots

light academia !!!

hella funky earrings - to mark her native pride and also cuz gay

from my readings, tattoos have a lot of cultural significance for Inuit women, and so i feel like yue would totally have some (when she comes of age ofc) 

suki

notes / personality 

extroverted 

also very strategic 

more spontaneous tho - will totally calculate the odds in a spilt second in her head and then just go for it

like still a careful planner, but willing to say fuck it, yolo if it seems right 

reflects on her mistakes, but more in like a healthy way - unless it was a leadership mistake, then it eats her up inside - worries more ab keeping her girls safe and making the right call

likes lively places

total bashful romantic

manages the present and the short term - realist

loves to do lists 

a little punch happy - loves to make violent threats, but also does it out of excitement and she’s just a really physical person tbh

steady, can come off as stubborn and abrasive but she really just wants what’s best for everyone she loves

harsh on herself and worries about her girls a lot 

always ends up in the oddest situations 

totally would kick someone’s ass for being racist/sexist/homophobic/etc 

dedicated to her training and her regime 

not a great cook, but she can manage 

would drink monsters 

has a weird relationship with femininity - took her awhile to reconcile strength and toughness and being assertive and aggressive with also wanting to feel pretty and feminine and embracing being a girl and how those things can coincide and amplify each other

abandonment issues - parents absent/dead 

was imprisoned - obvi she had several almost successful escape attempts, but she got really close to breaking 

was incredibly independent really early, grew up really fast and tries to make up for that now by sometimes being reckless 

tough/assertive/woman of action 

dry sense of humor/sarcastic - not good at nickname/pun humor tho

practical/dedicated/strong-willed/direct/honest/reliable/loyal/patient

stubborn/judgmental/difficult to relax/difficulty expressing emotions/too selfless 

friendships / relationships

(<> indicates that they’re one of her best friends)

sokka - <>  man they’re like platonic soulmates - she beat him up, and now they spar all the time, totally funny and crack jokes all the time, go skating together, they do shitty art together, and then show their lovers after zuko and yue come back from their high society mixers, broke her out of prison, m/f friendship !!! 

katara - also sparring buddies (suki will throw down at any literally moment (and tbh so will katara)), not close but will hang in a group - go to each other for advice 

toph - <> listen these two wreak havoc together, they help each other out a lot, i feel like they’re shopping buddies (similar enough style to frequent the same shops) toph knows suki won’t judge her for wanting to feel pretty and suki knows toph will be honest, they are both blunt sarcastic assholes and get along like a house on fire 

zuko - <> shows zuko how to like,,,enjoy things (and how to let go of some of that pressure to be always right and the adult and in charge bc they were raised with so much responsibility on their shoulders even tho they were just kids)? she is also super protective of him (once she trusts him), one of the only ppl who can match suki fully in hand to hand combat, both do the Disappointed Parent Look when the group falls into chaos, but by themselves, the two of them end up in hijinks

aang- suki enjoys his optimism and they’re just chill bros, they love exploring abandoned placed together 

clothing / aesthetic

sporty and skater mixed 

ripped jeans, crewnecks, vans 

green and yellow and dark red 

gym clothes/athleisure - lifting style gym clothes - cut off t-shirts and bike shorts

skirts too, likes to play into femininity

she’s a gold jewelry kinda girl - but stuff that won’t hinder her movements 

necklaces that end in the hollow of her throat & occasionally rings

definitely cuffs all of her jeans (it’s just bisexual culture ya know)

so many crop tops - some came like that, some were more of a diy project

yueki’s relationship!!!

nerd/jock solidarity 

feel the burden of responsibility and the weight on their shoulders 

they create a safe space between them, full of trust and warmth and vulnerability 

yue will read suki sappy passages from poetry books while suki polishes her fans 

they slow dance in the kitchen a lot 

they get good at ordering takeout - and they have some weird decision making process that only they understand - bc neither of them are great cooks 

yue would feel jealous of suki and sokka, if it weren’t for how stupid in love sokka was with zuko and yue can see that suki really only has eyes for her 

yue is taller than suki and it amuses her to no end to pick suki up and carry her away from a fight (we all know suki could get away if she wanted to, but when ur hot tall sexy gf throws u over her shoulder,,,,,,u don’t complain)

joke they’ve adopted kataang and zukka, bc they’re all dummies, but in reality every last one of them is stupid LMAO 

they love to do each other’s hair and it’s like super intimate and really cute 

sometimes it’s these epic elaborate hairstyles and then at other times, they try to see how many ponytails they can fit on suki’s head and how many little braid yue can do 

they travel EVERYWHERE 

since yue is royalty and suki is her body guard,,,, well i mean, they totally have to see these kingdoms they are doing trade deals with in person 

it helps that they're friends with a lot of them 

they stay over in everything from camping so they can stargaze to ritzy hotels with hot tubs in the bathroom 

yue gives suki rocks she finds on all their travels and suki lines them up on their mantle around the pictures of them in increasingly weird locations 

suki loves guarding yue’s meetings bc she gets to watch her absolutely rip a new one into misogynistic old men and it never fails to bring her joy 

While yue doesn’t love getting attacked, the ruthless efficiency suki defends her with is like,,,,,stupid attractive 

[crack-canon]

New Shipping: Guzma/Piers

I call it BigIslandShipping (Cuz Galar is basically a big island) (Alola’s also an island)

Or even Night Crawler Shipping

Got any suggestions or thoughts. Inbox is open

Guzma meets Piers:

-It’s love at first sight for Guzma cuz he’s horny (he’s just mostly touched-starved but he mistakes it for horny energy. Give this man a hug)

-He’s actually been a huge fan and started following his career when it finally reached Alola

-OR Guzma is a huge fan but absolute crap with emotions so he just ends up challenging the retired gym leader to a battle and accidentally comes off ass-holey and rude (my personal fav)

-The reason why he went to Galar was for a self-discovery journey (and totally not cuz he hoped he’d come across Piers)

Piers meeting Guzma:

-Piers finds Guzma in the crowd and finds him rather attractive with the idea of a possible one-night stand

-No matter what he does, he keeps bumping into Guzma for some reason cuz the tall man just keeps hanging around the town

-Or Piers finds Guzma rather annoying for battling him despite being a retired gym leader. Then again, this man looks like he could use a beat down and his crew hasn’t battled in a while

Date: 3-16-2021

Guzma

-Loud

-Angy boi (he’s working on it)

-Confident fucker

-Breakdancer

-Knows how to lead and how to care for angsty teens who’s been through hell (mentally or physically)

-he’s just a big brother to Team Skull

Piers

-Moody songs (actually soft boi)

-Probably has raunchy songs

-MOSH PITS

-Seeing as he’s a dark type leader he’s probably knows how to turn the tides of battle with cheap tactics, and deafeating Guzma despite being disadvantaged

-He’s rather guarded when it comes to romantic feelings but he’s chill with quick hook-ups

Why they’d both be great together

Skull Aesthetics

Leaders of a rowdy gang that didn’t seriously mean to cause issues

Black and white haired bois

Exude brotherly love (I Headcanon that more than half of the skull kids are runaways from abusive homes)

Angsty bois with good (but still gray) morals

They both go against culture

Guzma goes against culture, believing he doesn’t need some pretty gem and dance to enhance his team’s power

Piers tells us he refuses to move from Spikemuth and use Dynamaxing

[smallerinfinities]

I came to some realizations after Azriel’s bonus chapter.

a) it took place in the middle of the book, not the end. This was also relatively close to the time where Elain kept stating that she wanted a human mate, not a fae.

b) I think Azriel is extremely desperate for love. Do I think he feels some sort of attraction (whether sexual or romantic) towards Elain? Yes. Do I think that he’s also just extremely needy for love after seeing his two brothers find their mates in quick succession and now he sees his chance to find a partner himself after lining after the same girl for 500 years? Yes.

c) Azriel needs to fix his damn self because I don’t like the fact that he said he hadn’t thought further then bedding Elain when she seems like a sweet girl who has a whole lot more character exploring to come (or at least I hope so). Also dislike how Lucien respects Azriel and the 2 seemed to get along quiet well throughout the book, yet Azriel was ready to legit kill Lucien who is an absolute gem to me.

d) I find it interesting how the bonus chapter started with Elain and Azriel and ended with Gwyn and Azriel. Might be foreshadowing, might be a build up for angst, idk.

e) I can’t wait for that necklace re gift to blow up in Azriel’s face.

f) I don’t like how Elain is treating Lucien. It may be the fact that she doesn’t want to accept that she is now Fae and has a Fae mate, but at least talk to the man or at the very least be civil to him. Lucien is one of my favourite characters and that dude just can’t catch a break. I’m not saying she has to accept him (because no man is entitled to Elain, she is her own woman and should be treated as such) but don’t string my poor fox boy around. And especially don’t entertain the idea of sleeping with another guy under the same roof as him. Either reject him or talk it out with him.

g) there are so many different ways these next books can go but my main concern is how sjm is gonna find new worldly conflicts (not romantic ones because holy shit we have enough of those) because it kinda feels like the storyline is just being dragged a bit.

h) I’m a Gwynriel shipper but I’m not completely opposed to Azriel and Elain getting together. As long as Gwyn and Lucien don’t get fucked over (especially Gwyn considering her past with men) and both Az and El don’t have to sacrifice integral parts of their characters to be together then I’m cool with it.

I really liked ACOSF and there are so many different paths that the storyline could now go. We got 2 different cliches that could be done too lmao. SJM is a talented writer and I do want to see all my favourite characters get a happily ever after and while I’m excited to see what’s to come, I can’t help but be worried that I might be let down. This series is a great one, but it’s going on for a while. I sometimes feel like it should have just ended after ACOWAR, but I still have faith in the next couple of books. I also wish that this fandom wouldn’t be so nasty when it comes to something as trivial as ships, but oh well! Sorry for the ridiculously long ask, but I had so many thoughts about that bonus chapter!

okay okay so I’ve been on my phone for a couple days and when I read this I was like WOW THIS NEEDS A FULL KEYBOARD RESPONSE BECAUSE SEVERAL POINTS WERE MADE--

first off, I totally agree that this stuff is just discourse and like no one should be fighting or like idfk sending weird death threats over ships or the simple fact that they liked a book or a chapter like it’s not that deep it’s just speculation let people like what they like....but back to the Az bonus chapter...

I specifically want to talk about points B, C, and F. 

B-- so I think you’re so right about Az being desperate for love. like he’s gone so long feeling that unrequited shit for Mor and before maybe it wasn’t a big deal to him because his brothers were seemingly unattached too. but now that Rhys and Cassian are both mates and fucking head over heels for Feyre and Nesta, I think he’s feeling his separation from that happiness acutely and it just seems like star-crossed fate shit that there should be three brothers and three sisters (as cheesy as it feels and sounds and how trope-y it is) so maybe the lust he feels for Elain is just that base need to feel SOMETHING in the face of what he can see and hear and fckn *smell* at the River House and the House of Wind every damn day. and Elain is frankly an easy target. she’s quiet with a sense of humor and a fuckload of trauma....she’s someone for Az to be gentle with and nurture. and when he says “maybe the cauldron was wrong” like you feel the pain and resentment there...that the other sisters were seemingly made for his brothers and he should be left out. I feel bad for him but at the same time....

C--DUDE WHAT THE FUCK ABOUT KILLING LUCIEN AND HOW EASY IT WOULD BE....like that’s some Class A territorial fae bastard shit right there...not seen since the likes of Rowan Whitethorn (though in truth I do love it on him but he was that way for AELIN, HIS MATE)...I don’t think Sarah breathed life into the idea of the cauldron making a mistake for nothing, but I also just don’t think she belongs in the Night Court...all those comments about how much Elain would love Spring Court and sunshine and light....I’ve said this before but the Court of Nightmares solstice scene where Cassian basically calls Elain plain in her Night Court black dress was a huge yikes for me. like the Night Court clearly dims her spirit. it doesn’t fit her aesthetic, you know? anyways I’m getting off track...Azriel’s preoccupation with Elain right now from his POV seems almost entirely sexual so maybe like rethink that bro. 

F--okay yes, while I don’t think Elain is “beholden” to anyone and no male should feel entitled to her or be FIGHTING BLOOD DUELS OVER HER WTF???? I do agree that she has treated Lucien pretty much like shit. she hasn’t tried to understand the situation or the history (at least from what we’ve seen) of the mating bond and how neither of them chose this. like Lucien is as much a victim of the situation as she is, he just has the benefit of understanding what it means in fae culture to have a mate and the pain it causes to reject it. like she just avoids him instead of out-right saying no so he’s just being strung along. like let him go if you don’t want to be with him. and while Lucien has made some shitty decisions (I will never forgive him for his complicity in ACOMAF), this kind of pain shouldn’t be his punishment...like Rhys wouldn’t have to deal in absolutes with Azriel if Elain would just MAKE THE DECISION because then it’s not a challenge for Elain. it’s Elain making a choice, just like they’re fond of allowing women to make in the damn Night Court. my problem with Elain has never been with her femininity or her perceived lack of personality (which is canon now pls) it has always been with her lack of action and the inner circle enabling her to sit and do nothing--EVEN WHEN SHE MIGHT WANT TO. yes I’m talking about that moment where everyone is all up in arms about “exposing” Elain to the darkness of the dread trove and all but throwing Nesta to the wolves...I screamed when Cassian was like “BUT NESTA SHOULD???” ugh pissed me off so much. 

anyways clearly we both have a lot of feelings lmao I will scream about this series until I die I s2g 

[progressivestupidity]

IZ week 2020

so i wasn’t gonna do this because I didn’t think the prompts were very good for writing to, but I remembered the last day’s prompt was “role swap” so I decided to do something small and quick for it. this is all 7 days in one post. the first and last ones are drabbles and one of them is an au idea

@invader-zim-week​ here u go!!!

Day 1. Angst or Fluff 

Zim’s denial skills are god tier, but even they have their limits.

Drabble. I think this is the turning point for my eventual found family au

“When are you going to get it through your thick head that the Tallests aren’t coming?” Dib flings his arms out wide in his exasperation

“They’re just…!” Zim fumbles a bit, clenching and unclenching his fists. “The Armada is a million light years away! It takes time to travel that far, obviously. It took me six of your months to get here from Conventia and the Massive is further away from here now than that. They’ll come! You’ll see! And then you’ll be sorry!” Zim’s face is drawn tight. He’s tense all over, shoulders drawn up to his jaw, antennae pressed flat to his head, and normally Dib prides himself on reading Zim like an open book, but he’s too far gone in his own annoyance to see the warning signs.

It’s because he doesn’t see these red flags that Dib proceeds to stick his own foot in his mouth with his next words. “Maybe if you weren’t such an idiot and opened your eyes, you’d see the truth—that they dumped you here to get rid of you.”

“YOU THINK I DON’T KNOW THAT?” Zim explodes, planting his tiny hands in Dib’s chest and shoving. The boy lands painfully on his ass. “I’m not stupid, Dib.” His name is spat like an insult. “I know they don’t care about me! Why do you think I try so hard?”

Dib gapes at Zim, looking up at him for once, stunned into silence. “I.” He swallows. “You know?”

“Of course, I know.” Zim’s voice is a low hiss and his eyes are narrowed to slits. “You don’t get banished and then just get over it. You don’t get put on trial to defend your life, forced to relive your worse mistakes, and get sentenced to death, only to be saved by freak miracle, and never acknowledge it happened.” Zim takes a deep breath and crosses his arms over his chest. Dib supposes he means for it to look intimidating, but it looks more like he’s holding himself together. “I’ve always known.”

“Why do you try so hard then? If you’ve always known there was no point?” Dib has to ask, has to know, has to hear the words from Zim’s own mouth.

Zim purses his lips and turns away. “There was always a point.” He falls silent for a moment, one antenna twitching up a bit in thought. “I just… I thought if I was just a little better, if I accomplished something important for once, that… I don’t know, that maybe I’d.” He pauses and grits his teeth. “Maybe if I actually managed to take over this filthy planet I’d be worth something for once.”

Day 2. Be Gay Do Crime (LGBTQA+ headcannons)

Dib is bi/pan/demi-ro, Gaz is lesbian, Zim is ace/demi-ro

Headcanons.

Dib seems like the kind of guy that would both take whatever kind of relationship he could get, but also appreciate it. Dib isn’t afraid to work for what he wants and isn’t afraid of things that are “not normal” so I see him being the type to not care about the gender of whoever he eventually decides to date. However, because Dib’s been burned in the past, he would need a deep and sincere emotional relationship to see someone as a potential romantic partner.

Gaz is just a big lesbian. Girls, man.

Zim is ace all the way baby!!! He’s just not interested, and sure, part of that is me projecting, but it just feels right for Zim to just… not care. He has no interest and doesn’t care for sexual attraction regardless of whether or not Irkens do/can/will have sex or not. On the other hand, Zim has expressed a softer side before and I can see him being able to maybe eventually develop romantic feelings for someone if he actually manages to get close enough to them for those kinds of feelings to even emerge. It would take a lot of time and a deep, meaningful friendship, but Zim has shown he’s capable of love. He just has to let himself feel it.

  Day 3. Fandom Appreciation

Found family fuck yeah

Headcanons.

I’m still in the process of thinking about how I wanna go about my found family au so here’s just some initial ideas

After ETF, Zim self isolates for a bit. The florpus hole was his Last Ditch Effort plan and had it succeeded, he knew he would have been destroyed too. He was okay with it. He had made peace with it. However, it failed, and now he’s forced to reflect on said failure

The Massive doesn’t escape the florpus. They’re gone, completely. If they the ship does manage to get out, it’s not in one piece

I initially couldn’t decide if The Trial should come Before ETF or After but I think im gonna say before so the Massive doesn’t have to come back lmao

Before too long, Zim jumps back into the planning/scheming swing of things, but his ideas are never more than petty crimes and being a huge annoyance

Dib gets really annoyed with him and they have a big argument

Zim finally admits to knowing of his own Defectiveness

Dib reluctantly feels bad for him and backs off a bit to let Zim have his space

Zim, however, sees this as a betrayal and redoubles his efforts to get his attention

Somewhere along the way, Skoodge comes back and Zim backs off of Dib a bit, having someone else to focus attention on

Dib eventually begins to offer Zim his hand in friendship (phrased as a truce at first) and they finally make steps towards getting along

They realize they actually really like being friends

Zim eventually realizes that he’s made a life for himself, outside of the Empire

Eventually Zim, Skoodge, GIR, Minimoose, Dib, and Gaz form their own little family and explore space and hunt cryptids

(I love cryptid hunter and space exploration aus holy shit)

Day 4. If IZ had a different setting/time period

Cyberpunk??? Sure

Potential idea maybe.

Cyberpunk dystopian future

Aliens and humans intermingle, both on and off Earth

The Irken Empire has gotten bigger

Technology is advanced and cybernetics are widely known/produced

Idk man I don’t know a lot about cyberpunk, maybe this should be more for the aesthetic

Day 5. Aesthetic

Big shrug man idk

Headcanons, thoughts.

I’m a big fan of fashion Zim, and whenever I get the chance I give him clothes that are both cute and comfortable

Galaxy print leggings are a personal favorite of mine to give him

One time I wrote a little ficlet/oneshot where he wore a skirt. I should publish that some day

Uhhhhhh okay so. Dib has veeeeeery big early 2000s emo/punk vibes tbh

Scene kid GIR always makes me laugh

Gaz could pull off pastel goth like no one’s business

I’ve been here long enough to witness emo/scene hair wig Zim and his eventual fall lmfao

Pretty much everyone that redesigned them back in the day gave Zim emo kid hair that fall perfectly over one eye it was WILD

 Day 6. What if IZ was a different Genre?

Uhhhh does “fantasy instead of scifi” count?

Potential idea maybe. (oops it ended up being a fantasy/modern magic au haha ooooops)

Instead of being an alien, I had the idea of, maybeeeeee Irkens are like. Elves maybe, or perhaps some kind of fae. (I don’t know much about fae, oops)

Okay bear with me here, this is all coming together in real time.

The Irkens (which is what I’m gonna call their clan or faction or subrace or whatever) still want to be the rulers or something over the humans/other mystical beings. This world of magic is hidden from humans and they live blissfully unaware. There are invaders all over the place, using magic and glamors to trick humans into thinking they’re also humans. Zim is one such invader and just to happens to end up in Dib’s town, whereupon he enrolls in Dib’s school, pretending to be a transfer student.

I have no idea why or how the Irkens invade or what methods they use, but since my biggest experience with elves is through DND, I’m going to say they’re functionally similar to certain DND elf races.

So anyway, Zim ends up in Dib’s class and Zim’s glamor just Doesn’t Work on Dib for whatever reason (maybe Dib passed his Wisdom saving throw while literally everyone else failed, idk) and so Dib can immediately see Zim for what he is.

Dib is still into paranormal type stuff, though in his world, he’s less about cryptids and aliens and more about the magical species/world(s) that he KNOWS exists. His big goal in his au is similar to canon in that he wants to expose it all for recognition and love from his father.

Zim, meanwhile, he just wants to prove himself, just like canon. I can’t decide how I want the Irken hierarchy to go in this au—that’s something to think about later, when I have more time—but whatever it is, Zim is either a) not very good at it, b) not suited for it, c) ridiculed for not fitting in to it, or d) a combination of any or all of these things. (or secret option e) he rejects it but has no where else to go. On the other hand, it maybe be none of these things.)

GIR is here too though he’s probably not a robot. Maybe he’s another kind of magical being, or, hell, maybe he’s just Zim’s little brother. I’d be okay with that.

Gaz can also see through glamors but she just doesn’t care. Tak shows up at some point to get revenge, and Skoodge also shows up at some point to stay with Zim and be his friend.

Zim is bad at blending in at first, but he eventually Does get better, since he’s not totally isolated from other Irkens here and he also doesn’t Look like an alien.

(I’m thinkin’ elves in this au look Mostly human but with a few differences. Since I’m biased and this is MY fantasy world, damnit, elves are just. Really Pretty. Ethereal and elegant and graceful (for the most part—there are always exceptions) and they’re also great at magic. Maybe Zim isn’t all that great at magic, I dunno. I’ll figure something out.)

This ended up being less of a genre change and more of a whole ass au, lol oops

Day 7. Role swap

Chanting: human zim au human zim au human zim au human zi

Drabble. This is for an ongoing species swap au that i’ve had in development for the last few years. i haven’t posted anything for it yet, but I’ve thought about it a lot

Dib freezes as Zim points the plastic water gun at his head. Zim’s eyes are narrowed, lips pursed, and he adjusts his grip almost nervously. Behind him, Gir is holding a bucket full of water balloons and a pair of neon green star shaped sunglasses. It’d be cute if Dib wasn’t aware of how painful Earth water is to his Irken skin.

Zim finally lowers his gun slightly. “I want some answers, alien.” He looks Dib over with critical eyes. “Who are you really, and why are you here?” He reaches back and Gir hands him a water balloon with a big smile. “And you better tell the truth or I’ll bust this over your big head.”

Dib grimaces and watches the balloon. “My name Dib, and I’m a scientist. I’m an Irken, from Irk, and I’m here to learn more about life on this planet.” He holds his hands up, hoping to placate the human gesture for surrender. “I’m not here to harm you or anyone else, promise.”

Zim huffs. “Yeah right. I bet you just came here to laugh at the locals.” He puts on a mocking voice and waves the gun and balloon as he speaks. “‘Stupid, stinking humans. They can’t even travel beyond their own moon, yet. What morons. I bet they descended from pigs with how horrible and stupid they are.’” He jams the gun against Dib’s chest. “Tell me I’m wrong.”

Dib bites his lower lip and looks away. He can’t deny he hasn’t thought something similar since arriving on Earth, but Zim didn’t have to be so crude and blunt about it.

The two are at a standoff for almost a minute before Zim blows out a long sigh and steps back. He turns to put the balloon back in the bucket, gives Gir a pat on the head, and shoots Dib one last glare. “Stay away from me, Dib. I have enough problems to deal with without having to worry about whether or not it’s safe for my brother to go to school or if I need to watch my back while walking my dog.”

“I wouldn’t hurt you,” Dib says, a little put out.

Zim scoffs and rolls his eyes. “Yeah, I’ve heard that one before. I know better than to believe it.” He turns and tries to smile at Gir but it comes out a little twisted and sad. “C’mon Gir. Let’s go home and get Minimoose and take him to that dog park you like so much.”

Gir gasps and lets out a cheer. “Can we go get ice cream afterwards?”

Zim gives a little laugh, smile turning a bit more genuine. “Yeah, sounds good.”

As they walk away Dib can’t help but wonder why he ever thought Zim was an Irken himself.

[those70scomics]

What do you think about how Jackie and Hyde's relationship was portrayed in the show? Do you think it was one that was sexually charged? I realized that most of the fanfics I've read of them is always very sexual in nature and I honestly don't understand why that's the case.

A contingent of of the T7S (and J/H) fandom and fanfic authors from back when the show originally aired definitely saw sex as the driving, connecting force between Jackie and Hyde that led to their emotions for each other. In large part because of how their relationship is portrayed in “Going to California” (5x01) and “I Can’t Quit You, Baby” (5x02). But this interpretation forgets the context of their season 1-3 dynamic.

To analyze how vital sexual attraction is for both Jackie and Hyde to form a true, romantic bond, one needs to look at only two episodes.

1) “Kelso’s Serenade” (2x21). In this episode, Hyde tells Jackie, “See I myself don’t like you, I find you abrasive, but if I didn’t know you and I’d never talked to you, I’d think you were totally hot.” However aesthetically appealing Hyde might find Jackie, her personality turns him off sexually and romantically. Only until he forms a true emotional bond with her does he begin to feel romantically and sexually attracted to her. (As an aside, in Those ‘70s Comics and my fanfic, I essentially characterize Hyde as demisexual and demiromantic – which I didn’t realize until relatively recently.)

2) “Jackie Bags Hyde” (3x08). In this episode, we learn that a hot, sexually-arousing kiss for Jackie isn’t enough to spark true romantic feelings in her. She chases Hyde for months partly because she mistakes her gratitude toward him for love. But their kiss doesn’t affect her on an emotional level (despite what headcanons we Zennies might have about that scene, lol). 

Unfortunately, the show doesn’t intentionally or purposefully bridge the gap between Jackie and Hyde’s season 1-3 and 5-7 relationships. But I see them as having formed a friendship during season 4. Enough interactions between them exist to support this interpretation. Also, the fact they choose to hang out together in the basement during the summer (between S4 and S5) when they could’ve chosen to do anything else – including be alone – also speaks to their comfort around each other.

Further, instead of sitting as far apart as possible, they sit together on the couch to watch TV. When they do finally kiss (again), it’s supposedly out of boredom and to pass the time. But one can also reasonably interpret them as using boredom as an excuse to give into the sexual desire their emotional bond has created between them. Neither wants to define what they’re doing for their own reasons, but eventually they’re forced to confront it in “I Can’t Quit You, Baby”.

My understanding / interpretation of Jackie is that she’s falling in love with Hyde by the they kiss on the basement couch.

My understanding / interpretation of Hyde is that he finally finds “his person” in the more emotionally mature (and maturing) Jackie of season 5. His connection and attachment to her is evident in pretty much everything he does, from the little touches to his utter insecurity about her remaining feelings toward Kelso. She’s become so important to him that the prospect of losing her cuts him to the bone.

Sex is an important component of their relationship – as an outgrowth of their feelings for each other and an expression of their emotional intimacy. They’re physically (not sexually) affection and intimate, too. But the emotions come first. Sex is just another way for them to connect.

The fanfics you mention portray the reverse of the above paragraph: Jackie and Hyde’s emotional bond is an outgrowth from their sexual relationship, which is often about intensity in those stories and not intimacy.

[gangrenados]

Fluff Alphabet w/ Billy Bennet

request: yes.

A = Attractive (What do you they find attract about the other?)

What you find attractive about Billy is his sense of humor and chill actittude. Billy tries to see the good part in life, maybe find a joke about the problem so everything wouldn’t be so dark, this is good when someone is in trouble or down.

B = Baby (Do they want a family? Why/Why not?)

Billy is not sure of having children, he is afraid of being a terrible father. His relationship with his father was never very good, having his ups and downs, but in the end being a total disaster, he is intimidated to end up being just like his father.

C = Cuddle (How do they cuddle?)

Billy likes being able to put his chin on his shoulder and his hands on your shoulder blades and that's how he likes to hold you. Sometimes Billy doesn’t like to detach himself from the cuddle.

D = Dates (What are dates like with them?)

Dates with Billy are really full of fun. There is no in between. They can be simple, but that you dosen’t care at all. He takes you to the arcade or go to skate in the top of King’s.

E = Everything (You are my ____ (e.g. my life, my world…)

the best thing that could ever happen to me. You have known Billy practically your whole life and from the first moment that both crossed words Billy knew that you were one of the few good things that he had in his life and that idea has not changed with time.

F = Feelings (When did they know they were in love?)

You and Billy usually have a prank war  every year and since you remember he has always been the winner. But when one of your jokes resulted with him covered from head to toe with glue and feathers in the middle of the hall he knew he was in love with you.

G = Gentle (Are they gentle? If so how?)

Yes, well ... something like that. He is kind to you with respect to kissing or holding hands, but when it comes to hugs Billy likes to squeeze hard, then he minimizes the strength, he just does it to bother you a little.

H = Hands (How do they like to hold hands?)

You two hold hands like every couple do, except that your fingers barely touch each other, I mean, the grip is not so strong.

I = Impression (What was their first impression?)

Billy's first impression was that you were a spoiled little girl and somewhat odious, boy he was wrong...

J = Jealousy (Do they get jealous?)

He's insecure, but not a jealous person, he trust you with all his heart and you do the same.

K = Kiss (How do they kiss? Who initiated the first kiss?)

Your first real kiss was a total disaster, you two were kids after all! And you got Billy with very bruised lips thanks to the smash you gave him. But the first romantic kiss was in your second date, you were in the graveyard just chilling and talking about stupid things and then Billy kissed you.

L = Love (Who says ‘I love you’ first?)

You did it, but it was a mistake, he shouldn't have listened. You were talking to Saya and María for tips of how to tell him, but Billy just were a few meters away from you.

M = Memories (What is their favourite memory together?)

Your and Billy's favorite memorie is when he confessed to you. All started with a silly fight that leaned to a tickle fight; Billy was on top of you, admiring how your cheeks were red and how you had a loose smile in your mouth and he just said it.

N = Nickel (Do they spoil? Do they buy the person they love everything?)

He tries to save a little money to buy you something, but in the majority of the time he doesn't have it. He tries hard to recompense that fact with a lot of love.

O = Orange (What colour reminds them of their other half?)

Green cuz his hair. Whenever you see that colour you automatically think of him and a stupid smile appears in your lips.

P = Pet Names (What pet names do they use?)

Sloth is what he used to call you when you were kids, he kinda do it now. You call him sweetie or sweetheart, he calls you babe or darlin'.

Q = Quaint (What’s their favourite non-modern thing?)

He likes to see old horror movies with you like the night of the living dead or the ones that have not sound at all. Billy and you would sneak in a drive in cinema and enjoy the old movies.

R = Rainy Day (What do they like to do on rainy days?)

On a rainy day, you and Billy would go out and enjoy the rain, wetting your clothes without caring to catch a cold.

S = Sad (How do they cheer themselves/others up?)

Billy don't like being sad around you, he wants you to have a light time in King's, but when he's so stressed out and mad he can't help but break down in front of you. You would hug him and reassuring him everything will be good and you would be by his side no matter what; also you would bring him some candy and listen to music to light up his mood.

T = Talking (What do they like to talk about?)

You and Billy talk about anything and everything. He's happy to talk to you even if it's some weird stuff, aliens it's a thing you've talked a lot

U = Unencumbered (What helps them relax?)

What relaxes Billy is either music or go and skate, both is the best option. It helps him to think better and have blood running in his brain for better ideas.

V = Vaunt (What do they like to show off? What are they proud of?)

He's not exactly a show off, but he likes to show you off. Billy can't believe you're dating him, he thinks you're out of you damn mind, but he's glad you choose him.

W = Wedding (When, how, where do they propose?)

You haven't do it, but with all the years you've been together it's like you were a married couple. You and him don't think that marry it's a great deal.

X = Xylophone (What’s their song?)

A Flock of Seagulls- I ran. This song pretty much explains how he was feeling when he fell for you and it's so strange 'cause it's definitely not his type of music.

Y = Yes (Do they ever think of getting married/proposing?)

No, with all the problems he saw that his parents had, he prefers not to do it

Z = Zebra (If they wanted a pet, what would they get?)

When he was a kid he taked care of a street dog. Billy loved that dog with all his heart, he wonders where the dog went, but secretly knows he passed away, it was an old dog after all. Billy swears that when he the stability he will find out another and take care of they.

Tag list:

@dammit-scamander @flowercrowns3438 @love-giselle @sweetdayme4427 @ladyofstardvst @captivatedrose @super-sunny-bean@depressed-with-anxiety @fionnscute @theriverdalediaries @sundaay-addams @the-winter-loki10 @wrinkledparchment @aesthetic--fangirl @clau-carstairs

[gottaenjoythelittlethingzz]

Character Interview: Smut Edition

The interview no one asked for. This is mainly an exercise for me to get back into writing for Schuyler and get a handle on her voice. Answering 60 questions completely in Schuyler’s voice.

#28 will shock you! ;)

1. How old were you when you went on your first date?

“Define date. Technical my first hook up was at a party and I talked to the guy for like, ten minutes. I was 17. But I didn’t have a romantic relationship until I met my partners at 28. And none of us are exceptionally romantic, at least not in the classic sense. Our dates are when we decide to ride out to the desert for a picnic. Go to Vegas for a weekend. My first ‘dinner and a movie’ wasn’t until I was...30, maybe.” 

2. Who was your idol when you were growing up? Who did you first fantasize about in your life?

“John Travolta. It was Grease and then Wild Hogs. Very classy.”

3. Would you consider yourself straight, gay, bi, or other?

“Bisexual and polyamorous. And I found out at different times in my life.”

4. Do you currently have a lover? What is their name, and what is your relationship like? What are they like? Why are you attracted to them?

“I have two and it’s not for the faint of heart. I’m all for exploring sexuality, but unless you’re serious I wouldn’t recommend attempting to be in my position. 

Chibs and Tig. They are both noticeably older than I myself am, but Chibs is the oldest. They had a relationship prior to me. But there are some days that even they forget that.

I’m attracted to both of them because they are so different from each other and they are very different from me. They each check certain boxes for me that individually neither of them could. No individual on their own really could. We all kinda do that for each other and I think that’s why polyamory works for us. Our relationship is balanced in that way.

I wouldn’t say we are co-dependent, but we depend on each other for a lot. We met through work. We have the same friends and family. We’re around each other a lot. 

The sex isn’t bad either. We have a semi-open relationship. We’re free to have sexual relationships, but we’ve agreed not to open our relationship to other romantic partners. We keep each other busy as it is. We check each other’s boxes in that way too.”

5. Who was the first person you had sex with? When did it happen? What was it like? How well did it go?

“Some guy at a party when I was 17. I led him to the back of my truck. He came and I didn’t, but it was ok because we were on the clock. We were kinda racing his twin sister and my older brother, Beau, who were in another car about two car lengths down beside us. Not my best story, but it is my first.”

6. Have you ever had a same-sex experience? Who with, what was it like, and how did it go?

“Course. My first girl went a lot smoother than my first guy. I was 22 and she was 24, I think, and I was not her first. She was sweet.”

7. What is your deepest, most well-hidden sexual fantasy? Would you ever try?

“Normally I’m very dominant. With the company I keep I’ve had to learn to be socially and it translated sexually. But, I kinda like the idea of being choked. I would never try it with just some hook up. Especially not with a man. Which leads to a glaring issue since I want to be choked by a man.

My sexual relationship with my partners is interesting because we don’t always stick to our roles. I might consider, attempting, that with Chibs just because I know he’s the only man I’ve ever felt completely secure with in such an intimate way. That’s not to say I don’t trust Tig in the same way. We just have a different dynamic and I know he tends to lean towards submission and he needs us to stay that way to feel secure.

I just don’t know how to breech that conversation. And I wouldn’t want to without knowing that we could return to our normal dynamic because I can’t be submissive, at least not in that way, all the time and I know he doesn't want me to be.”

8. What was the wildest thing you’ve ever done, sexually? Who was it with and when did it happen?

“Depends on what you personally view as “wild”. I’ve been to a sex club, once. A proper one in England with performers and company brands and the like. That was crazy, but in the best way. I’ve had multiple partners at a time and had sex in multiple public locations in multiple countries. I like to think I’ve done a lot, but I know that isn’t true either. I’m just going to keep finding new experiences with new people.”

9. Is there any sexual activity that you enjoy and/or practice regularly that can be considered non-standard? (Bondage, Fantasy Play, etc.) Why do you like it?

“(Openly laughs) Back to checking those boxes. Um, pegging is fun. With the right equipment I can check just as many boxes as my partners can.”

10. Is there any sexual activity that you will not, under any circumstances, do?

I’ve been known to explore the shallows of the BDSM community. Light bondage and impact play. I’m not opposed to spankings, especially if my partner at the time needs that. But I have never and will never hit someone I have any sort of relationship with in the face. Open, closed fist, or with an object, the thought would just never occur to me. That rule extends to relationships outside of sexual and romantic ones, but that’s another discussion entirely.”

11. What is more important - sex or intimacy? Why?

“If you had asked me before I met my partners I would have said sex because that’s all I was looking for. These days I’m practicing compersion. I’m a big fan. Intimacy is so important, I think even more important in a polyamorous relationship, for maintaining healthy, open communication.”

12. Do you use endearments? (For partners or in general?)

“In general I tend to use individual endearments for different sexes and different partners. I tend to use “sweetheart” and “honey” as insults whether that comes across or not.

My favorite nickname that my partners call me is “Ma’am”.”

13. What’s the worst thing you’ve done to someone you love?

“Lie. No matter the reason. Even if it worked out in the end. That doesn’t make lying right.”

14. What’s the part of your partner’s body you like the most?

“What they want me to answer, what I’m suppose to answer, and what I want to answer are all different answers. But I do like the same features pretty equally on both. No one can say that I don’t have a type.”

15. Ever wake up next to someone you instantly regretted sleeping with?

“There’s this one girl from high school. And she hasn’t left since. Became a Croweater because of me. I honestly try to feel bad for her, but she makes it incredibly hard to.”

16. What kind of birth control do you use? Have you ever got an STD from a previous partner?

“Ever since my second abortion I’ve been dependent on the arm implant. The abortions were before my partners and I can’t risk being careless for their own sake. Per our agreement, I always use condoms when I am not with my partners. Thankfully I’ve never contracted STDs and it’s nearly impossible now with how cautious my older partner is.”

17. Which is more important to you - boobs or butts?

“Boobs, toned chests, collar bones. Really the prime hickies areas above the waist.”

18. Have you ever skinny dipped? 

“There is the interesting trend in my life where I started out bathing naked with my brothers when we were really little, then we started doing it in bathing suits in our teens, and now that we’re grown we’re back to walking around naked in front of each other.

I’ve skinny dipped with friends and its been totally platonic and I’ve skinned dipped with sex partners.”

18. What’s the most erotic thing your significant other does?

“This may be hard to explain. 

Tig wears these leather wrist cuffs (*Schuyler starts rubbing her own wrist) that very easily draw my attention to his hands no matter where they are. When he’s relaxed, he stands with a hand on the handle of his knife. When he’s attempting to appear intimidating, he stands with his hands crossed in front of his waist, one hand clutching the other’s wrist or both clutching his belt buckle. And both actions are somehow simalteously dominate and submissive in aesthetic and action. That’s the best way I could possible describe him. A delicate mixture of both.

With Chibs, he does this thing when he is thinking, and I mean really deep in thought, he gets this sort of look on his face, his eyebrows knit together, and he opens his mouth in a way that’s just a hair shy of his ‘O’ face. And its really hot.

Between the two of them, it’s these little things they do when they don’t even realize they’re being watched, that I find attractive.”

19. After being intimate are you a sleeper or ready for more?

“It’s funny because both my partners have a higher sex drive then me despite the fact that they’re older. I argue that it’s because I work more, but that isn’t necessarily true. I’m a sleeper and I am not a cuddler by any means. The good news is it makes me a giver during the actual act. They often joke that I “cum like a man” and complain about having to entertain each other when I’m done.”

20. What turns you on almost instantly?

“Smoking and watching my partners, specifically, commit acts of violence, like boxing or a bit more than that. Yeah, I know.”

21. Would you rather have sex with the lights on or off?

“On! But I want my partner to be comfortable.”

22. Would you rather give oral sex, or receive it?

“Give it! With fervor.” 

23. Would you rather be on top, or underneath?

“Top. I like directing.”

24. Have you ever used sex aids in bed? Would you use them with your current partner? Which ones?

“Besides toys and lube, I don’t believe I have. I’d be more than willing if it was for the benefit of my partner. I made the mistake of introducing my partners to sexually enhancing marijuana products. I don’t smoke weed, but both my partners do and they will try to get me to smoke it until the day I die. And they’re trying to convince me that the enhancements are not the same as smoking, so ‘its fine’. I still disagree.”

25. Have you tried anal? Would you?

“Regularly. And double penetration and double vaginal penetration. I would say it is because I ‘have to’, but that would be a lie.”

26. Have you ever tried bondage? Would you?

“I’ve been known to swipe a pair of hand cuffs off pigs’ belts when they aren’t looking. I don’t known as much about the practices as I’d like to and don’t practice BDSM half as much as I think about it. It’s been mainly tame stuff.”

27. Have you used food in sex play?

“I like ice because I’m very hot natured. I actually prefer cigarettes to food.”

28. Would you rather have sex with your other half’s best friend or with your best friend?

“Well since the answer to both are two of my older brothers (by choice and name, not blood) either would be awkward. I suppose my other half’s best friend since I’ve known that guy for less time. I’m pretty sure his wife would finally kill me though. Hell that might make it worth the trouble. Just to piss her off.”

29. Would you rather have sex with one person watching or with fifty people watching?

“I feel like if it was a playback recording situation or even live streamed in separate rooms the number doesn’t matter. I’ve been known to have sex in rooms with up to fifty people around, but they’re usually occupied and more than likely know or are under instructions to ignore me. But if I had the choice then it would be one. Then I could perform and tailor the experience to that person. At that point it would be more of a game.”

30. Would you rather be in a relationship with a totally submissive partner or a dominant partner?

“That’s the brilliance of my relationship. I more or less have both. But if I had to choose it would be a submissive partner.”

31. Would you rather kiss your boss or have your significant other kiss them?

“Knowing the bosses I have had I would much rather someone else do it for me, even my SO. I don’t really get jealous in that way and I kind of like to watch my partners with other people.”

32. Would you rather pursue a life where you could only ever have sex with one partner in the same position in the same bedroom or have sex with a completely different person every time?

“A different person every single time.”

33. Have you ever gone a whole day without wearing underwear?

“I always go commando when I go to concerts and sometimes under my scrubs just because they’re comfortable.”

34. Where’s the strangest place you’ve had sex?

“A motorcycle? Not mine, because I respect the machine, but on other people’s bikes.”

35. What’s one thing you do with your partner that you could never give up?

“Midnight drives out to the desert. Or movie nights.”

36. When was the last time your SO was in one of your dreams?

“Before we moved in together.”

37. Would you rather make out with someone else or watch your significant other make out with someone?

“Both. We can take turns.”

38. What time of day are you interested in sex: morning, afternoon, night?

“Afternoon because I’m the most awake and it gives me an excuse to shower and do chores, afterwards.”

39. Have you ever had sex in a public place?

“It’s a frequent occurrence.”

40. Would you rather sleep with someone much older than you, or simply never have sex during your life time?

“My partners are 17 and 13 years older than me, respectively. I’ve always looked at men who are older than me and women who are about my age, but I don’t mind older women for their experience. When it comes down to it I’m taking home whoever is looking good on the night. I wouldn’t give up sex based on something so superficial.”

41. Would you rather be a virgin until you are 40 and subsequently have the most amazing sexual partners of a lifetime, or would you rather have the most amazing sexual partners until you are 40 and then never have sex again?

“I don’t plan on living very long past 40, so the former.”

42. Would you rather remain a virgin until marriage and have a spectacular sexual partner or remain unmarried for the rest of your life and have a ton of great sexual partners who never love or commit to you?

“I don’t personally believe in marriage for a slew of related and unrelated reasons. And I’m all about experiences, so the later.”

43. Would you rather only ever have sex in bed or only ever have sex outside the bedroom?

“Beds are nice.”

44. Would you rather have sex in the kitchen or living room?

“Living room. Apparently I like furniture.”

45. Do you check out your SO when they walk away?

“No, but it’s mainly for posturing and protection.”

46. Do you think you’re a good kisser?

“I get by.”

47. What’s your favorite position and why?

“Cowboy. I like to do all the work, I like the view, and I make for an even better one.”

48. What is it about a person that sexually attracts you?

“Humor and intelligence. A good head of hair doesn’t hurt.”

49. What’s your darkest sexual fantasy?

“I’m kinda into knife and blood play, but I have never attempted either.”

50. How many orgasms have you had in one session? How many sessions have you had in one day?

“I think my record is four in a setting. And the most sessions I’ve ever attempted in a day is three. And doing both is easier with three people who are relaxed because they are on vacation and eager to please. That was basically the formula for our tenth anniversary.”

51. Are you noisy in bed?

“No because I’m so focused on making sure my partner is as loud as they are comfortable being.”

52. Do you think virginity is something to be respected, or do you think it’s a nuisance?

“I think it is artificial and you should get rid of it as soon as you (legally) can. It’s fake, but also a hassle to carry around.” 

53. What’s the longest amount of time you have been abstinent?

“6 months.”

54. Have you ever had angry sex with your SO or another person), was it good?

“Angry sex is always good. I’ve for sure hate fucked at least guy who was a client and that’s how I discovered that I couldn’t sleep with cliental anymore. I don’t think I’ve ever had angry sex with either of my partners, though they might have been angry once or twice...”

55. Are you a greedy lover? In what way?

“I like my partners to be vocal and I like knowing that it’s because of me.”

56. Do you ever pleasure your lover without satisfying yourself too?

“All the time. Usually due to a time constraint.”

57. What’ s the best part of oral sex with your SO?

“How eager they are to please me.”

58. Have you ever had drunken or drugged sex?

“Drunk sex is just another Friday night. My partners are high 9/10 times, but I’ve personally only ever purposely gotten high once and it was before I met them. Unless you count contact high, then maybe I’ve been high during sex. 

And both of my partners have been known to, partake in the use of, we’ll say ‘heavier’ drugs recreationally. I will not have sex with them when they are influenced - in that way. And they do it less now because I refuse to have sex with them while they are high.”

59. What’s the best kiss you’ve ever had?

“(Looks around for eyes on her) “This will get me into trouble. But it was after Chibs came back from his, we’ll call it a business trip, to Ireland. I was suppose to go and didn’t. And I’ve never been more relieved to see him.”

60. What’s the best sex you’ve ever had?

“That’s a safer question. And arguably more fun. It was between both my partners. It was the night Tig got out of Stockton. He was inside for 14 months and the only time he’s ever been inside without Chibs. For like a week after I didn’t think I was going to let him go, so he gave me this wicked hickie on my neck to carry around. That’s the longest any of us have ever been apart and we don’t plan to let it happen again.”

[deserted-americanmaiden]

Signs of Lesbian Compulsory Heterosexuality [Part 1: Men]

"Attraction" To Men

Deciding which guys to be attracted to – not to date, but to be attracted to – based on how well they match a mental list of attractive qualities. 

You have a ‘list’ of impossible criteria in your head that a man must meet for you to be attracted to him, and if you ever meet someone who matches all the criteria you just add more impossible standards.

Constantly testing your attraction to men. You pick one or more conventionally attractive men in the room, and try to force yourselfself to be attracted to them.

You like the idea of being with a man, but any time a man makes a move on you you get incredibly uncomfortable.

You do not like the reality of men, only the idea of being with men.

You may like the idea of being in a relationship with a man, but can always pick out a reason to not want to date any man that is interested in you or any man suggested to you. These reasons are sometimes reasonable, but often insignificant (i.e. “I don’t like guys who do their hair like that, he has a weird mole on his face, he’s too tall”).

You can fantasize about men and find men aesthetically attractive, but thinking about realistically being with a man makes my stomach churn.

Only developing attraction to a guy after a female friend expresses attraction to him.

You like getting attention from men and being validated in your attractiveness, but the moment it goes from attention to an interaction (i.e. from flirting to asking out) you start panicking.

Getting jealous of a specific female friend’s relationships with guys and assuming you must be attracted to the guys she’s with (even if you never really noticed him before she was interested in him).

You view relationships with men as a chore, burden, or just something you must deal with.

Confusing a strong emotional connection/dependency with a man for romantic feelings, can be due to mental illness.

You get crushes on just about every guy you’re friendly with, because there’s really no difference between friendships and crushes to you.

You feel like you could theoretically be attracted to men (you may even have fantasies about them), but in practice you never have any feelings for them.

Picking a guy at random to be attracted to.

Having such high standards that literally no guy meets them – and feeling no spark of attraction to any guy who doesn’t meet them.

You’re far more certain about being attracted to women than you are about being attracted to men.

Only/mostly being into guys who are gender nonconforming or feminine in some way.

Alternatively, the guys you like are always a hypermasculine man’s man who embodies everything about manliness.

You want to date/fall in love/get married/have kids/etc with a guy, but the guy you dream about is never specific and may as well be a cardboard cutout.

All of your fantasies around men are always with faceless, nameless men; the more realistic the fantasy and the more details about your partner you invent, the less excited and into the fantasy you become.

Only/mostly being attracted to unattainable, disinterested, or fictional guys or guys you never or rarely interact with. (Such as teachers, married or older men, and men that live far away).

Similar to only crushing on famous or fictional men, the men you like may be gay or in relationships as they are also unattainable (if they are in a relationship, you may even start to wonder if it’s actually the woman you have a crush on).

You lose all attraction or get extremely uncomfortable if there are any implications that they might like you back. You get deeply uncomfortable and lose all interest in these unattainable guys if they ever indicate they might reciprocate.

You mistake the desire for male approval as attraction. You don’t necessarily want a relationship with men, but you want men to want a relationship with you.

Reading your anxiety/discomfort/nervousness/combativeness around men as attraction to them. Confusing your anxiety around men for “butterflies” or being flustered.

Reading a desire to be attractive to men as attraction to them.

You wish you weren’t attracted to men / You wish you were a lesbian.

Relationships With Men

Dreading what feels like an inevitable domestic future with a man.

Or looking forward to an idealized version of it that resembles literally no m/f relationship you’ve ever seen in your life, never being able to picture any man you’ve actually met in that image.

You have every reason to be happy in your relationship with a man, but you just aren’t / everything is going really well, but something is missing and you can’t figure out what.

Being repulsed by the dynamics of most/all real life m/f relationships you’ve seen and/or regularly feeling like “maybe it works for them but I never want my relationship to be like that”.

Thinking you’re commitment-phobic because no relationship, no matter how great the guy, feels quite right and you drag your feet when it comes time to escalate it.

Going along with escalation because it seems like the ‘appropriate time’ or bc the guy wants it so bad, even if you personally aren’t quite ready to say I love you or have labels or move in together etc.

Or jumping ahead and trying to rush to the ‘comfortably settled’ part of relationships with guys, trying to make a relationship a done deal without investing time into emotional closeness.

Your relationships with men are devoid of passion.

Feeling like you have to have relationships with guys and/or let them get serious in order to prove something, maybe something nebulous you can’t identify.

Only having online relationships with guys; preferring not to look at the guys you’re interacting with online; choosing not to meet up with a guy even if you seem very into him and he reciprocates and meeting up is totally realistic.

Getting a boyfriend mostly so other people know you have a boyfriend and not really being interested in him romantically/sexually.

Wishing your boyfriend was more like your female friends.

Wishing your boyfriend was less interested in romance and/or sex with you and that you could just hang out as pals.

Thinking you’re really in love with a guy but being able to get over him in such record time that you pretend to be more affected than you are so your friends don’t think you’re heartless.

After a breakup, missing having a relationship more than you miss the specific guy you were with.

Worrying that you’re broken inside and unable to really love anyone.

Sex And Intimacy With Men

Having sex not out of desire for the physical pleasure or emotional closeness but because you like feeling wanted.

OR: preferring to ‘be a tease’ to feel wanted but feeling like following through is a chore.

Having to be drunk or high to have sex with men.

The idea of kissing, cuddling, dating and/or having sex with men is really scary/anxiety inducing, and the idea of doing any of those things with women isn’t (or is noticeably less scary).

Your fantasies about men still somehow turn out to be a little "gay". Maybe you’re penetrating him, you don’t have to look at his face/don’t want to look at his face, you want a threesome with another woman, he’s very feminine, etc. It might be a “straight fantasy” but you’ve altered it in a way straight people might not be totally interested in.

Thinking because you don't like/pursue sex with men you must be asexual. Or vice versa with romance for men.

Your fantasies about men give you intense distress or anxiety. They could be intrusive thoughts, forms of self-harm, or otherwise.

When you think about guys, you think about all the things that you could tolerate doing with them (dating, kissing, sex, marriage) but always in terms of what you could force yourself to do, not what you want to do.

Being around guys that are interested in you gives you intense anxiety.

Feeling weird/wrong calling your boyfriends pet names or showing them pda, but gladly showing your girl friend’s pda.

Only being comfortable with sex with men if there’s an extreme power imbalance and your desires aren’t centred.

Using sex with men as a form of self-harm.

You don’t have much of an emotional reaction to kissing or being otherwise physical with a man, or you even dislike/hate it.

Feeling numb or dissociating or crying during/after sex with men (even if you don’t understand that reaction and think you’re fine and crying etc for no reason).

Being bored with sex with men/not understanding what the big deal is that makes other women want it.

Doing it anyway out of obligation or a desire to be a good sport/do something nice for him.

Never/rarely having sexual fantasies about specific men, preferring to leave them as undetailed as possible or not thinking about men at all while fantasizing.

Having to make a concerted effort to fantasize about the guy you’re “attracted” to.

Source:

[cambriancrew]

Figuring out identity thiiiiings. Such a work in progress such a process such a "Why do I not know all this yet why is this taking so long to figure out" mixed with "Yeah duh of course it's complicated and not anywhere near as simple as you previously thought so yeah duh it's gonna take awhile quit being so hard on yourself" mixed with "all this stuff is so interesting to figure out!" and "idc I should still have this figured out but nooooo" etc etc etc ad nauseum.

So. Pretty solid on being VERY demisexual.

Still not so sure about the whole where I fall on the straight or pan side of things. (Not saying those are two ends of the total spectrum, but Idk which of the two I am or if I just lean one way or another idk.)

Still trying to figure out for me where the line is between aesthetic and romantic attraction. Pretty close to demiromantic, I think, which further complicates things.

But holy hell am I not that way whatsoever with aesthetic attraction. Soooo many people are so friggin gooooorgeous.

But there's also the line between squishes and romantic crushes that I'm still iffy about - I mean I know what the difference IS, it's just figuring out the way the two different things feel to me that's still confusing.

And this is further complicated by me trying to look back in my memory and figure out things like "OK I loved that good friend but did I love her or did I looove her and if so in what waaaay" by paying close attention to the emotions attached to certain memories and the way I remember feeling and things I did and thought etc.

Combine that with all the weird cultural things around being female in the American Midwest and it being Natural and Good for girls to be intimately close with their best female friends but Not Okay and Forbidden for them to have that kind of closeness with a guy friend because what if he mistakes that for flirting or a dating type relationship and THAT'S a whole tangled mess and all and just...

I think I'm pretty okay being at least certain that whatever I am, it's not 100% straight.

Guys are great. I love strong shoulders and great pecs and a lovely smile and deep velvety voices and the secure feeling of walking hand in hand next to my SO.

Ladies are also great. Lovely hair and makeup that is On Point and dresses and cute clothes and curves and the way it feels to hear them talk softly to you about something secret or private or just a bad joke and then burst out laughing in a fit of giggles together at it.

A lot of those things aren't gendered, just more common in one than the other. And then of course there's nonbinary folks who are sometimes all the awesome things I find really attractive in one package.

And mostly I guess I just think people are awesome.

And I don't even want to think of course about what if my SO and I don't work out and I tend to experience very nearly zero attraction to anyone when I have an SO because idk that's just how my mind works, I guess it's like they're My Person and my heart only has room for one and it's not letting go to make room for anyone else and then of course there's the whole Demi thing so there's that on top of everything else...

But I'm pretty sure I probably could be attracted to anyone of any gender. Probably have been.

Enough that I'm confident enough to say that yeah, I'm pan and demi and everyone is beautiful and lovely and I love humans in every shape and color and gender. I'm super attached to the one I've got, and that definitely strongly dims any attraction feelings towards anyone else, but those feelings are still there, and they don't discriminate by gender.

So uh... Yeah.

[mya-rt]

*I decided to merge all the asks in my inbox and all the replies in this post. Sorry for the inconvenience. Please let me know if i made any mistakes with english!*

ASKS:

@melisa-kirkland said: Wait I totally don’t remember if I had said this to you before but you are the best, the most adorable, lovable, talented and greatest person I’ve ever seen on earth, and I love you so much.

You’re so sweet mel-chan omg !!! I’m tearing up... You’re the best and super adorable too. The Normanray art you drew for me is so beautiful, i will cherrish it forever.

@melisa-kirkland said: The new chapter is leaving me sobbing for the cliffhanger @melisa-kirkland said: The moment I finish this chapter: “Fuck” 

I feel you. Mel-chan is me after any tpn chapter. So relatable.

Anonymous said: Can I use your drawing of Emma (for her b-day) in my aesthetic? Thanksss!

It isn’t a drawing for her birthday but for the author of the manga! Since it’s a drawing for posuka demizu so please refrain from using it!! I’m sorry. Thank you for asking first.

@astolfoh said: Yoooo, Rie!! May I just... sob here in your ask box since finally our local boy Norman appeared?? I really missed him so much ;;. What relation do you think Adam has with him? May I join the send Peter Ratri to the shadow realm squad? . There's just been so much happening lately that I can't help but scream, omg. Hope you're doing well! ♡

Of course! ((Anyone is always welcome to sob over tpn hell in my askbox hehe-)) I’m SO GLAD NORMAN IS ALIVE. He was obviously one of my favorite characters and I missed him more than a lot! I think it’s possible that Adam was one of the guinea pigs for the lambda project, and managed to escape somehow. Everyone is invited to send the rat Peter Ratri to the shadow realm (I swear if he dares to lay his filthy hands on norman I will take care of him personally) (also anti daddy kink... smh) I hope you’re doing well too Mei!! I love you~ It’s always my pleasure to get asks from you.

Anonymous said: I really like your lining brush plus, of course, your art!! Can you please share it if it’s okay?? If not that’s cool too!! 💗

Thank you very much buddy!! I’m totally fine with sharing it but please take into account I recently changed laptop and so i just set it like this for the time being from memory. I used this brush for these drawings: 1 2 3 4. That’s not my actual lining brush but something close, and if you were asking for the brush settings of my previous drawings.... i have no idea sorry! By the way I color with the regular pen if you’re wondering.

@tododorkies said: Happy Valentine’s Day! Send this to anyone you’d like to send love to today ❤️ 💕 💗 (P.S. this is Bee)

Happy Belated Valentine’s Day!! I love you Bee (Bee and I are married by Oni laws) (Shoutout to @sleepy-cyclops because Bee’s side blog is cool, go follow for good tpn content!)

FOR THE ASK MEME:

@g-ran said: 001 TPN & 002 Cairn/Phos & 003 Haj

001 I Send me a fandom and I will tell you my:

Favorite character: Ray ? Norman ? I don’t know anymore...

Least favorite character: RAT jk I love everyone

5 favorite ships: raynorman - normanray / emmanorman - normanemma / gildaemma / natanna / rayanna

Character I find the most attractive: I don’t think attractive is very appropriate but Dominic design wise ? (White hair, dark skin and red eyes... he will grow into a fine man... I can feel it)

Character I would marry: JAMES RATRI (It was. Love at first sight...)

Character I would be best friend with: Emma !! She is so cute and cheerful she would always brighten my mood.

A random thought: “ray is fine this way”

An unpopular opinion: Norman actually hides a frightening dark side behind his cute facade (I always call him my pure son yet he was damn serious about murdering krone...)

My canon OTP: normanemma

My Non-canon OTP: normanray

Most badass character: Bunkerdude

Most Epic Villain: Isabella. Mama is the best.

Pairing I am not a fan of: I’m pretty much ok with anything unless it’s incest etc...

Character I feel the writers screwed up: Conny because she deserved to live!!! My sweet daughter!!!

Favorite friendship: Ray and Emma... friendship goals.

Character i most identify with: Gilda. I feel like we have a lot in common.

Character I wish i could be: none. But I would love to be as brave as Emma, as clever as Norman, and as witty as Ray

002 I Send me a ship and I will tell you:

When i started shipping it: as soon as Cairngorm punched Phos

My thoughts: “YOOUUU AAAARE NOOOOOT DREAMIIIING” “What’s up with this crap!?” (Their relationship is all over the place... I love this.)

What makes me happy about them: How they manage to get along despite everything that happened

What makes me sad about them: Everything. This ship is so sad and hurts me so much... ((I love it?)) ((I’m so maso))

Things done in fanfic that annoys me: I don’t read fanfics

Things I look for in fanfics: Pain ? Probably.

Who i’d be comfortable them ending up with if not each other: Phos with Cinnabar (although i find them annoying tbh) (I’d have said antarc if he wasn’t dead...) and Cairngorm... nobody (He only loved Lapis or Ghost and since both are dead...)

My happily ever after for them: I don’t think this will end up well tbh

003 I Give me a character and I will tell you

How i feel about this character: I LOVE YOU HAJIME MY #1

All the people I ship romantically with this character: Tori Himemiya, Eichi Tenshouin and Ritsu Sakuma

My favorite non-romantic relationship for this character: With the ra*bits members

My unpopular opinion about this character: he can. actually top...

One thing I wish had happened with this character in canon: Happy Elements could have given me Hajime in an Alice in Wonderland dress. but. They didn’t. We could have had it all...

Favorite friendship for this character: With Tomoya... aww...

My crossover ship: hajiruby. (Ruby Kurosawa from love live! lol i feel like they could get along well!!)

@tododorkies said: 003 Ray ;^)

003 I Give me a character and I will tell you

How i feel about this character: MY PRECIOUS EMO SON

All the people I ship romantically with this character: Norman COUGHS OUT BLOOD AS IF IT WASNT OBVIOUS ENOUGH and Anna!

My favorite non-romantic relationship for this character: raychristy is the best and heals my soul

My unpopular opinion about this character: His long bangs doesn’t make him cool, it’s ridiculous imo (Yet I love it)

One thing I wish had happened with this character in canon: Show him crying (I want to see ray crying so badly... I’m sure he must have cried a lot younger, since he often tend to keep things for himself and must have suffered a lot in the past)

Favorite friendship for this character: Emma!!! They have the best friendship... or Don.

My crossover ship: Ray x sleep is an otp. Give me the good content...

@lightningflash55 said: 001 Kiznaiver / 003 Ryuko Matoi / 003 Your fave tpn demon :3

001 I Send me a fandom and I will tell you my:

Favorite character: HONOKA MAKI I love this girl

Least favorite character: Kazunao Yamada...

5 favorite ships: honoruru / hononico / katsuchido / katsunori

Character I find the most attractive: Honoka Maki is my goddess

Character I would marry: Honoka Maki... (Makichan all the way)

Character I would be best friend with: Nico ! She is so cute and seems funny to talk to.

A random thought: Maki doesn’t like whipped cream.

An unpopular opinion: Maki is a lesbian,,, 

My canon OTP: honoruru

My Non-canon OTP: hononico

Most badass character: Honoka Maki

Most Epic Villain: Was Sonozaki really a vilain?

Pairing I am not a fan of: honoyuta

Character I feel the writers screwed up: None?? I liked how all the characters were written tbh

Favorite friendship: All the friendships... since this anime is about strong bonds!

Character i most identify with: Chidori Takashiro?? Maybe.

Character I wish i could be: none.

003 I Give me a character and I will tell you

How i feel about this character: RYUKO MATOI IS MY QUEEN

All the people I ship romantically with this character: I only like ryumako

My favorite non-romantic relationship for this character: ryuko and senketsu

My unpopular opinion about this character: All the ryuko outfits are great. All of them.

One thing I wish had happened with this character in canon: I want to see how she is doing after all the events that happened sobs

Favorite friendship for this character: With everyone. Ryuko has so many nice friends

My crossover ship: I can’t think of any...

003 I Give me a character and I will tell you

How i feel about this character: You only appeared three times yet I love you

All the people I ship romantically with this character: None

My favorite non-romantic relationship for this character: Norman as a joke because I thought he held him captive while norman disappeared

My unpopular opinion about this character: His hands are very cool

One thing I wish had happened with this character in canon: See him again?

Favorite friendship for this character: With his other demon friends

My crossover ship: with swirly boy??? lol...

[solerey]

Rules & Verses for Mobile:

Having had these requested for my Finn account, I thought I should go ahead and make some mobile-accessible rules/verses for the rest of my accounts too, so here are Rey’s! (This also includes the various parental backstories I will play for her.) Note that while I don’t change my rules much (or basically ever lol) the VERSES information here is definitely not going to be up-to-date because I am forever making new aus…but here’s a start, at least, to give you something to explore until you get back to your computers!

Mun is named Nicky and is well over 21. Muse’s age will vary. Multi-ship and multi-verse.

RULES:

Following and Mututals:

This is a sideblog of nickyrp and as such cannot follow back.

We do not need to be mutuals to send memes or starters. Feel free to throw things like that at me at any time even if we’ve never played or plotted before. If I’m not interested or just too busy etc I promise I will let you know politely and not just leave you hanging!

If you want to play please send me a message or toss me a starter; I’m bad at paying attention to my follower count and probably didn’t notice your subtle arrival! Or thought you wanted to lurk idk. Say hi!

If you are a multimuse with a lot of characters or a lot of fandoms all on one url, I may not follow you because that tends to be overwhelming for me. It’s nothing personal nor a comment on your writing style; it’s just more than I can easily keep track of, myself. (That’s why mine are all on their own sideblogs.)

If I can’t read your blog (small text, low-contrast colors, etc) I will not interact with your character. I don’t have the best eyes and straining to read sucks all the fun out of rp. If you need any of my formatting or color choices adjusted for your own ease of accessibility please let me know! I will do so happily.

You can reblog any of my shit (headcanons, graphics, verses, meta, whatever) even if you’re a personal blog, I don’t care; it’s all one fandom imo. That said please don’t reblog my interaction threads with other people because most rp-ers do not like their things reblogged and I want to respect that. If I reblog anything of yours you do not want reblogged just let me know and I will delete it; I promise it’s just because I thought the thing was cool and got excited!

Interactions:

I am always up for trying new things so if you have a crazy idea, please hit me up! I promise I rarely disintegrate anyone.

I am happily open to interacting with Original Characters! I need to know who your character is though, so if you don’t have a bio or background I can find on your blog I’m not going to be interested.

I will not write smut with anyone under the age of eighteen.

If I ever do something that upsets or confuses or offends you, please let me know. It probably wasn’t intentional and I always want to be called out on problematic behavior because how else can I learn to do better? I promise to react apologetically, not defensively.

Formatting:

I’m a visual person so I like icons and gifs and will almost always incorporate them. If you don’t want to use images that’s cool with me, but I majored in comic book art so I enjoy the marriage of words with images. I should further admit that interactions with visuals do tend to keep me more excited than plain ones – I’m shallow!

I’m not a big fan of fancy formatting. I don’t mind if you use it but I don’t. Feel free to adjust my formatting to suit your aesthetic if that makes you more comfortable, but I’ll likely keep mine simple.

If you need any triggers tagged message me and I’ll do so gladly.

Canon & AUs:

I have as of yet read very little of the expanded universe materials for the New Canon (a few comics, the Thrawn novel, etc). As such, my portrayal of Rey may at times be lacking in regards to supplemental canon information. Please never hesitate to inform me of any details relevant to your character or any ongoing/burgeoning threads. I appreciate that assistance!

As far as the Legends EU goes, I have read most of the old novels (excepting NJO period) and many of the Dark Horse comics but that is a lot of material and I do not promise to remember everything. Please let me know if I make a mistake or assumption you do not agree with; I promise I will not be offended!

I will generally default to putting Rey into the canon of the Sequel Trilogy because that is where she comes from, but I am happy to play her in Legends Canon too – just let me know! If you don’t indicate verse/time on a meme or starter, I might pick another verse (or make a new one) so please indicate where you want to play if you have a preference!

I also love making AUs whether canon-divergence or totally off-the-wall so please don’t hesitate to throw new verses my way! I love both plotting and winging-it when building new worlds, so don’t be shy!

Characters Relationships & Shipping:

Platonic Ships: I generally enjoy Rey without any ships and am thus extraordinarily eager for friendships, familial relationships, and Found Family interactions. (Antagonistic and abrasive interactions are also welcome – it doesn’t have to be all sweetness and light all the time!) Rey very much wants to be loved, but it isn’t romance she is primarily looking for. I will usually write Rey as being either an aromantic or biromatic asexual.

OTPs: That said, I do thoroughly enjoy the idea of a Finn/Rey/Poe polyship and would be thrilled to play out interactions under that set-up. I will also happily ship her with either of those two gentlemen on their own, or with Rose Tico or Jess Pava or Jannah or really anyone whom it makes sense to ship her with, providing there is chemistry and a basis in friendship to build the ship from (whether that be formed via interaction or plotted ahead of time). Interspecies ships with non-human characters are also welcome!

NOTPs: No teacher/student, adult/minor, or incestuous ships, please. Additionally I will not ship Rey with Kylo Ren in any verse. I have no objections to playing in verses where they are not related, but due to the fact that I started thinking of them them as siblings about five minutes into my first viewing of TFA (the Jaina/Jacen vibes were too strong for my Legends-based heart, sorry!), it is simply something that I am not comfortable shipping regardless of their actual familial status in a verse or lack thereof. Please tag your reylo so I can block it?

One-Way Ships: I will never force a ship on you. I expect the same courtesy in return. That said, you are more than welcome to have your character express unrequited romantic feelings toward mine. (In most cases I expect I’d even be okay with this sort of one-way attraction coming from a Kylo Ren character; if it ends up crossing the edges of my comfort zone I’ll let you know!)

Main Faceclaim: Daisy Ridley [older: Keira Knightley] [younger: Raffey Cassidy]

“We are the spark that will light the fire that will burn the First Order down.” ―Poe Dameron

VERSES & BACKSTORIES:

I am a big fan of AUs and canon-divergent verses so if you don’t see something here that looks like your cup of caf know that I am always happy to plot out a new one! Also feel free to pull anything from my wishlist.

BACKSTORY OPTIONS: I find that I enjoy the Rey Palpatine/Rey-Chooses-Skywalker Idea more and more the longer I contemplate it. I do however remain wholly convinced that Rey Organa-Solo was the original intention with the character in TFA. Thus, for threads set early in Rey’s character arc I am likely to default to Rey Organa-Solo while in threads set later I’ll probably go the Palpatine/Skywalker route. (And I have other options too!) If you have a backstory preference, please specify before starting a thread.

The Last Solo (default canon verse): Rey was too little to remember that her full name was Breha Organa Solo but it wouldn’t have mattered if she’d been one hundred; when Emperor Palpatine decides to mind-rub the entire galaxy, they forget. Sensing the all-but-unprecedented power within the little girl, the half-resurrected shadow of Palpatine was too tempted by her potential to destroy her outright; instead he erased her life. He couldn’t erase the emotional weight of her absence, though, nor the instant sense of connection felt by both Rey and those who had once loved her. Even Kylo Ren didn’t know why the little girl he dragged from the ruins of the Jedi Temple mattered, but he couldn’t bring himself to kill her, instead abandoning both her and his father’s ship on Jakku before following Snoke into the Dark. Palpatine’s lies about Rey’s lineage fooled everyone for a time – but in the end, the truth felt real in a way that the lies did not, and Rey reclaimed the heritage he had stolen. In the end, Palaptine lost everything.

The Last Skywalker (secondary canon verse): When the half-resurrected former Emperor mind-rubbed the entire galaxy to forget Luke Skywalker’s daughter, he succeeded – but his former Hand recognized the feeling of his touch on her thoughts. Mara Jade immediately knew he was back. She didn’t know why she felt such a connection to the little girl buried beside her in the ruins of the Jedi Temple, but she knew she had to kill her former master – and that she had to keep this child safe. She “borrowed” her brother-in-law’s ship and went searching for Palaptine, her forgotten daughter in tow. When she reached Jakku, she left the girl and the ship behind, knowing the next step was too dangerous to bring a child she loved along – but the Final Order she found was more than the fragments of the Empire she had expected, and Mara never returned for her daughter. That didn’t stop the girl who called herself Rey from sensing a connection to her true family when she finally found them again, nor stop her from claiming her true lineage in the end in spite of Palaptine’s lies. (Can also be played with a different mother!)

Palpatine’s Heir (canonical canon verse): When Rey at last discovered her lineage, she was horrified. She was the granddaughter of Emperor Palpatine, the man who had destroyed the Old Republic and created the Empire – and was now the resurrected Lord of the Sith. After initially giving in to fear and despair at the darkness she believed she saw within herself, Rey eventually returned to the war. With the assistance of Kylo Ren, who had turned his back on the Sith at the last minute, she was able to destroy Palpatine while the Resistance obliterated the Final Order’s fleet. Hope was restored to the galaxy, Rey was restored to life in a final act of atonement, and the stain of the Sith was at last ended…at least for now. Choosing to turn her back on the bloodline that spawned her, Rey has instead declared herself a Skywalker in essence if not in birthright, carrying on the legacy of the late Luke and Leia. As the first of the new Jedi, Rey now looks to teach others the ways of the Force as Leia did her – starting with her dearest friend, Finn.

Not So Nobody (alt canon verse): The daughter of Kam and Tionne Solusar, two of Luke’s earliest Jedi students, Rey was the first child born within the Temple. Kylo Ren desperately wanted to make her his first apprentice of the Dark Side, but the Solusars escaped the slaughter and fled across the galaxy. The First Order pursued. Unable to shake them, Kam and Tionne made landfall on the nearest planet: Jakku. They hid Rey with a junk dealer and left, planning to lead Ren away and double-back when it was safe – but the First Order caught them. They convinced Kylo Ren that Rey had died of wounds taken during the attack on the Temple, but the deception cost them their lives. Kylo Ren was irritated to have lost Rey as an apprentice but had more important things to do than dwell on the death of one child…until he heard about the girl on Jakku who helped the deserter. He knew immediately who she had to be – and that she would become his apprentice after all, or he would ensure that her parents’ lie became the truth.

Orphan of Jakku (alt canon verse): Kylo Ren told the truth: Rey’s parents were nobody…but what does that matter? A person’s worth isn’t determined by their lineage but by their choices. And Rey chooses the Light and the Resistance and she will give her all to defend her friends and to free the galaxy from the shackles the First Order wants to wrap them in. Kylo Ren might be descended from Darth Vader but Rey doesn’t need to be a Skywalker too in order to end him and his reign.

Twinverse (for duplicates): Twins run in the Skywalker line, and B(rey)ha and Pad(mey) were no exception. Named for both of Leia’s mothers, their loss hit her as hard her son’s fall to the Dark Side – and hit the girls even harder: separated for the first time in their lives, they were scattered to distant planets and lost, abandoned. So young they could barely remember their own names let alone those of their family, they grew-up like orphans until one day “Rey” found herself leaving aboard a ship whose controls fit her hands like they’d been made for her. When the Force stirred in Rey, it reached out to her sister as well and Mey went looking for the family that had never come back to find her. (I’m happy to play either Rey or Other Rey in all versions! Can also be done as Skywalker twins or nobody twins. Names changeable!)

SEQUEL TRILOGY VERSES:

Her Mother’s Daughter (alt post-TFA): Leia had always been too busy running rebellions and piecing-together governments to truly master the Force, but she knew enough to teach Rey the basics – at least until the old friends she dispatched to fetch her brother could talk him into coming back. She could have sent Rey, but after losing Han she didn’t want to let her daughter out of her sight – not so soon after finding the long-thought-dead girl again. Besides, they had so much to catch up on…and the Resistance could use a Force Sensitive woman like Breha, training or no training. And for General Organa, duty always came first.

Corrupted Coordinates (alt post-TFA): the map did not lead them to Master Skywalker. Artoo wasn’t sure if the data was corrupted or if Luke had been there at one point and then moved on – but wherever he was, it wasn’t here. Unwilling to return to the Resistance empty-handed (to fail again the way she had failed to save Han, to protect Finn) Rey went looking for every rumor of Luke she could find. Aboard the Millennium Falcon with Chewbacca and R2-D2 in tow, she is determined to keep searching until she can come back to Leia with something that will give them all hope.

A Newer Hope (alt TLJ): It wasn’t Rey who finally convinced Luke Skywalker to come back to the Force, back to the Resistance, back to his sister; it was the droid Artoo Deetoo, perhaps Luke’s oldest living friend. Artoo’s old hologram reminded Luke of the boy he’d once been and the hopes that had once filled his life to brimming. Lifting her Jedi Master’s ancient X-Wing from the water had been the last task Rey completed before Luke deemed her ready to return to the galaxy and to continue her training from within the Resistance, although he was cautious about letting her progress too quickly, unable to shake his fears of creating another Kylo Ren.

A Skywalker Returned (alt TLJ): If Luke had not cut himself off from the Force he would have recognized his daughter’s presence the moment she set foot on that island. As it was, the resemblance she bore to his sister – to the woman his daughter would have been if she had lived to grow-up – seemed like a cruel joke of the Force and inspired him to push her away instead. His daughter had died alongside her mother, murdered by Ben Solo in an attempt to hide his fall to the Dark Side…or so Luke had thought. Unable to kill his little cousin, Ben instead mind-rubbed her and dumped the confused girl on an out-of-the-way planet. He never expected the girl from Jakku to come back to haunt him – but the Force has a way of returning things to their proper balance, and Kylo Ren knows now that no lies will keep him safe from his long-lost cousin. Unless he can twist her to the Dark Side the way Snoke once twisted him, their next meeting will leave one or both of them dead.

The Rise of Organa-Solo (post-TLJ): Rey felt an instant connection to Han and Leia (and Kylo Ren), the Force within her whispering that this was the family she sought. Her father thought her resemblance to his beloved Leia was mere coincidence and died before learning the truth; her mother surely sensed something when they met but whether out of concern she might be wrong or hopes of sparing Rey further emotional turmoil before she started her Jedi training, Leia said nothing…and Luke had cut himself off from the Force and thus was unable to recognize his niece. Now only Leia remains to guide Rey into the Light away from Snoke’s lies and toward her destiny – but will the truth make it harder or easier for her when she has to kill her brother?

The First Jedi (alt post-TLJ): While Leia reforges the fragments of the Resistance into a New Rebellion, Rey has a mission of her own: finding other Force Sensitives and leading them with her into the Light before Kylo Ren’s agents can drag them to the Dark Side. She is no Jedi Master but she has the ancient Jedi teachings to draw from, friends to support her, and her own clarity of vision to guide her. She will learn, and she will teach. The Jedi will not end with her.

The Sunrider Option (alt TROS): With Kylo Ren dead at her hand, Rey  faced Palpatine alone – but she had read the old Jedi texts and knew of a different sort of sacrifice she could make. She did as commanded and struck him down, claiming her position as Empress of the Sith – but severed herself from the Force at the same time. The spirits of the Sith moved from him to her…and found nothing waiting there that could house them. They faded, dissipating into nothing but impotent screams. Before the Final Order could realize the ritual had failed, she gave the command for their fleet to stand down. The combined Resistance and Free People’s Fleets destroyed most of their ships before they could fight back or flee, and Rey returned to her friends alive and untainted – but forever sundered from the Force. Now she does her best to pass her training on to Finn so he can guide the new generation of Jedi that she will never be a part of…and learns to live with a world that will feel forever muffled, forever less.

The Balance Restored (post TROS): While Poe Dameron, Rose Tico, Kaydel co Connix, and the other leaders of the Resistance turn their hand from rebellion to building a government, Rey has a mission of her own: finding other Force Sensitives and training them as Leia did her. From the fragments of the Jedi Order, something new will rise – something that is not bound by the limitations of the Jedi Code or the sins of Jedi past, but something nonetheless firmly rooted in the Light. She will restore balance to the galaxy one student at a time, starting with her first apprentice: Finn.

Rebel Daughter (pre-TFA divergence): Breha was not lost when her brother fell to the Dark Side. She grew-up amidst the strain and stress of political upheaval and imminent war, but she also grew-up surrounded by family. Breha’s devotion to the Resistance is total – almost. The loss of her brother cut her too deep for even the dozens of unofficial aunts, uncles, and quasi-siblings of her parents’ friends and allies to assuage – but dragging Ben back to the Light would do it. Breha refuses to give up on the big brother she once adored, no matter what Uncle Luke or her parents caution her, but will she risk the continued survival of the Resistance she loves on her certainty that Ben is still in there somewhere, and she can bring him back? She tells herself it’s the will of the Force guiding her – but maybe she just misses her brother.

Scoundrel Daughter (pre-TFA divergence): when Ben Solo fell to the Dark Side, Leia and Han decided that the Force was too dangerous for their remaining child. Duty demanded that General Organa stay with her burgeoning Resistance, so Han and Chewie took young Breha away from war and into the safety of the seedier side of life. She grew up more on the Falcon than off, flitting from port to port and learning the tricks of the smuggler trade rather than the ways of the Force. It wasn’t until Hosnian Prime met its grim fate that they came home to Leia, joining the Resistance for a desperate mission to Starkiller Base – and Breha’s first confrontation with her brother since she had been a little girl and he had not yet become a monster.

Dark Lady of Ren (pre-TFA divergence): When young Ben Solo proved resistant to Snoke’s manipulations he set his sights on an easier target: the boy’s baby sister. His assault on the Jedi Temple left many survivors, but it had all been a distraction so he could kidnap Breha. Raised to the Dark Side and indoctrinated with the beliefs of the First Order, Kreya Ren has few memories of any life before and even less interest in uncovering them. With her family convinced that she died thirteen years ago, she might never have discovered her origins – save that Poe Dameron knew the moment they came face to face who this woman who looked so much like Leia had to be. That had been Kreya’s first mission as a Knight of Ren and she took Dameron’s escape and the defection of the traitor FN-2187 personally. Vowing to destroy the Resistance once and for all, Kreya Ren never expected to discover a brother barring her way – nor parents who refused to accept that she would never turn her back on the Dark Side.

Orderly Mechanic (pre-TFA divergence): The First Order was never picky about where it harvested its resources – or about how willing they were. Rey didn’t want to leave Jakku but she wasn’t given a choice when stormtroopers marched over the sands “recruiting” anyone useful. She was barely a teenager but everyone knew she was good with machines and they needed people to keep their ships spaceworthy. At least she’s learned a lot, although “traveling the galaxy” probably would be more exciting if she ever got to step foot off the ships for more than the occasional dirtside repair. Being a young and self-taught prodigy has netted Rey few friends among her co-workers, but some of the stormtrooper recruits at least are nice to the girl who helps fix their boots and blasters…and so far no one, not even Rey herself, has realized that her instinctive avoidance of Kylo Ren is anything more than ordinary prudence. And every day, her lost family feels a little further away…

More Coming Soon! like literally as soon as soon as someone asks for or suggests one, I love AUs. Don’t be shy!

LEGENDS EU VERSES:

Another Desert Daughter (as Shmi’s great-granddaughter): Luke felt an instant connection to the new Jedi trainee the moment Rey stepped into the temple. Here was yet another Force user from Tatooine, another orphaned child of the sands who dreamed beyond the confines of her hot and distant world, like Taihiri Veila and himself before them. So why did the extent of her powers frighten him? Was it because the coincidental resemblance of her features and his niece’s, his sister’s, had Luke making the mental leap to yet another Jedi from Tatooine? But this girl was no Vader, surely! Of course, if he had known that she too carried Skywalker blood in her veins, Luke might have let himself worry more…but Shmi Skywalker had died too quickly to tell her son that there was another. (can be set at any time in Legends Continuity but probably not NJO because I don’t know it)

Lost Hapan Princess (as Allana Djo Solo): deeming it too dangerous to hide her daughter in plain sight with Han and Leia Organa-Solo, Tenel Ka sent Allana to Dathomir after faking her death – but the ship never made it there. Left on the nearest planet for safe-keeping by her escort while they dealt with the threat pursing them, Allana soon found herself abandoned and alone. Her memories damaged by the upheaval in the Force following Caedus’s fall and Abeloth’s rise, she spent the next several years sure of nothing but that she had family out there somewhere who would be coming back for her…but as the amnesiac girl drew inward to shield herself from the darkness in the Force, Tenel Ka was forced to conclude that her deception about her daughter’s death had become the truth: Allana was gone. But the Force wasn’t done with the woman now called Rey just yet… (for post-LOTF interactions)

Littlest Solo Sister (as Breha Organa-Solo): either taking Anakin Solo’s place as the youngest of the three Solo children, standing alongside Anakin as the second set of Organa-Solo twins, or as the fourth and youngest of the siblings, Breha grew-up as the daughter of the New Republic’s Chief of State and the niece of the Jedi Grand Master. It was a life that involved lots of affection from a host of unofficial aunts and uncles, the occasional kidnapping, and training in the Jedi Temple on Yavin Four. It eventually involved war as well, interspersed with tragedy and darkness. (can be set at any time in Legends Continuity but I really don’t know the NJO so assistance with details may be necessary if you want that)

More Coming Soon! like literally as soon as soon as someone asks for or suggests one, I love AUs. Don’t be shy!

[xxntigo]

Final Essay: PPP Film / Cinemalaya Film

As Philippine cinema celebrates its 100th year anniversary, more and more diverse films are emerging in our local industry. Let us take a look at three films from this year's Pista ng Pelikulang Pilipino and see how our movies have been performing so far.

      From young love and pursuing your passion; being in love in an open relationship; and a story about life and death; these are the main themes in the three movies we have watched from this year's Pista ng Pelikulang Pilipino.

      First is LSS or Last Song Syndrome is  directed by Jade Castro. LSS is about the story of two young adults named Sarah and Zak. Sara, played by Gabbi Garcia, is a struggling musician trying to have a successful career and at the same time making ends meet and trying to send her brother to college. Sarah is able to inspire the audience by being able to speak her mind and be firm about what she really wants in life. She would never sacrifice her dreams, her own happiness, or her sanity in order to stay in a relationship. Her story gives the audience an idea of what we should realize and that there are certain things that matter more than love.

      Zak on the other hand, played by Khalil Ramos, is a web designer with a single mom, who appears to have issues with his dad and is in love with his best friend for many years but cannot seem to confess it to her. Zak can be described as a typical torpe. Zak give the audience a deeper meaning of how we look for love; commitment not rushed. Because of his uncontrollable feelings to her, it gave this immaturity and unwillingness to settle or express how he feels, he is in turn causing women to engage in questionable behavior. Most of us spend at least some time doing things we love. It may just not be feasible or possible to do it for a living for Zak, but he can still find the joy and passion in the times when he does those things. And many of us spend a lot of time doing things we don't necessarily love most of the time but know they're useful in some way. It may take time and effort to work through these issues, but giving the family this priority can be one of the most important steps he takes to strengthen his family.

      Zak and Sarah meets in a point to point bus in the middle of the EDSA traffic through their love for music. Though it appears that Zak and Sarah may have been brought together by fate, they actually in most parts of the movie, they were actually in separate situations and are dealing with their own individual paths after their meeting in the bus. This is a great feature of this film because even if it appears that this film maybe about love, it actually shows that life is not always about that and that romance is only part of our life and the way we lead and live our lives should not be entirely shaped or run by that one magical moment when we meet someone. The film’s catch would be that each character is so relatable that even if romance comes along the way, the responsibility the character has for their family and being able to prioritize what really matters on top of their own dreams is one thing inspiring. The character of Sarah is someone who is positive, a fighter, a responsible sister who can sacrifice her innermost longingness for her siblings. On the other hand the way how Zak perceive love is not rushed as how he would pleased but shows a different side of it, ideally directs to commitment. Contradictory to what the world sees how to pacify self by rushing things in accordance to one’s desires, the two character was able to see the beauty of love in a way by not neglecting their own commitments and responsibilities in the family and in other aspects of life.  As how destined it may seem their meeting up again gives a stronger impact to the audience as how they were able to handle the romance, enjoying oneself without compromising and neglecting the reality of their lives. 

Though there are parts when the characters are singing, the movie is not really a musical but the way how the songs are induced in parts of the movie makes creates an interesting flow for the story to run. This was made possible by using songs of the band Ben&Ben.

      Director Jade Castro relate us in our realities in life. Having that feeling inside, growing and learning, it leads, and it’s done so effectively and tremendously because there’s a connection and relation to it, which lifts the film’s genuine intention. Once you do find love you will realize that even though it is great, it is not all that it's cracked up to be. We will realize how important we are in our relationships and in this life such as focusing on ourselves, where the only things we have to compromise are ones we want. He created a film that gives a fresh, inspiring and feel good vibe to the audience where they will not be overwhelmed by cheesy cliche story about love but just the right combinations of an inspiring life story of two young individuals who have different passions in life and just somehow met along the way towards their own goals. A refreshing and pure view of love that makes it even lovely as the two characters find themselves as individual beings having the drive to take their own ways and journey and having been rewarded with meeting up again and as if they had been taking the road together from the first time they met. 

      From a young and fresh film, let us move on to a movie with a more mature storyline with the movie Open. Open is a movie produced by the newly established and self-proclaimed auteur-driven production Black Sheep who is actually a division of ABS CBN's Star Cinema.

      Open tells the story of long term couple Ethan and Rome who has been together for 14 years, who decided to pursue an open relationship to bring the spark back in their relationship as initiated by Ethan. In this part, we can see how the couple is struggling despite their long term relationship out of wedlock. Rome is somewhat expectant of a commitment only she is hopeful for. In contrast with the first movie LSS, Open depicts couple who are dependent to one another wherein Rome puts all her world to Ethan. Ethan on the other hand seemed to be distant in the commitment and find himself seeking of more gist in the relationship. However, as boldly portrayed by JC Santos, his fulfillment in finding the excitement in the relationship is driven by lust and temporary self gratification.  Hence, Ethan suggested an Open relationship to Rome, after finding out that his best friend and his girlfriend are in an open relationship even though they are actually engaged to be married. Rome, with all her intentions to keep the 14 year relationship go on agreed with all trust to Ethan. There is only one catch in Ethan and Rome's agreement, they cannot sleep with people that they already know, they must do it with total strangers. Ethan broke this rule and slept with his much older and attractive boss whilst Rome still appears to be uncomfortable with their new setting. Instead of focusing on seeing other guys, Rome started to do the things that she loves such as painting. Hence the loyalty of Rome is clearly defined, her love is driven only with her eyes on Ethan.

Soon enough, she finds out about what Ethan did and eventually decided to break up with Ethan and take up a job offer in Singapore. The film ends in Rome walking away from a regretful and crying Ethan. 

      In the beginning of the film you can see that Rome and Ethan's relationship goes way back since they were really young so they have really grown very comfortable with each other. However, you will notice how Ethan tends be controlling over Rome and appear to be possessive and insensitive of Rome's feelings. This can be seen at the part when they were having dinner and Rome discussed about her job offer in Singapore and also during the moment he brought up the idea of open relationship. All throughout the film, Ethan's character really seemed unlikeable and at times irksome because of how greedy, clueless and controlling he became over his relationship with Rome. Rome on the other hand, is much more understanding and has patience over Ethan. But her flaw in the beginning was she was too sheltered and dependent on Ethan and she has hew world wrapped out around Ethan that she kind of lets him decide and not let her voice and how she feels be heard especially when she agreed to the open relationship even if she clearly is not comfortable with it. But what is great about the characters is the shift or development in their attitudes. The open relationship magnified the greediness of Ethan in the beginning then later on showed that he was actually the one who became frail when he realized his mistake and his girlfriend's worth. Rome suddenly opened herself to a new possibility and start to work on her real passion again while his boyfriend enjoyed temporary pleasure. In the end the open relationship both taught them of the importance of self-worth, trust, and feeling secure in one's relationship.

      Another noticeable feature of the film besides the story is its aesthetic and overall look. The film is produced by Black Sheep and so far, we have noticed something common in the romantic films that Black Sheep has produced so far; they all have this warm hue aesthetic look. Black Sheep claims to be a production that offers something different to millennials besides the cliched mainstream movies we normally watch in the past. Open offers an insight on the pros and cons of being in an open relationship. But in this films it only briefly showed the pros side with Ethan's best friend Archie and it did not really show how their relationship worked out contrary to Ethan and Rome which is understandable since this is Rome and Ethan's story. Also, the writers were able to show through the story one thing that a lot of people in relationships forget, that there are two people in it and they are not acting as one. Basically, it is the importance of individuality despite of relationships we are in. Rome, being wrapped up in Ethan in the beginning, realized her self-worth and thought that her opinions and voice also needs to be heard that is why in the end she expressed to Ethan what she really wants and how she really feels and then left and pursued what she loves and left the toxic relationship.

      Besides that, the mood, lighting, and occasional zoom ins in the characters faces during intense scenes of the film also created added feel for the audience. A notable part was at the ending scene when Rome cried and walked away from Ethan and finally realizing her self-worth.

The actors were also effective in portraying their roles. Anyone who watches the movie can feel like they are in Rome’s shoes who has experienced the downside of being stuck in a situation. 

  It is good to know that the idea of an open relationship is unusual and even more, should I say daring to be released in the cinemas. But the director has his own way of defining relationship in a diverging society where love, commitment, relationships are getting more complicated. Yet, the balance of how the director handles open relationship with its cons and pros is clearly seen. Somewhat, the outcome is also boldy depicted, hurtful but real as how it would end for the two. The concept of an open relationship may be new to many audience or even unreal for the older viewers but the feelings as a result of this is so relatable that even if it is not labeled as an open relationship we can see how hurting it is for two people who desires contentment and happiness in relationship from something that is not even tangible, the search for it becomes so selfish that it ended up losing instead of gaining. What is even more hurtful is not being able to recognize the people who really truly loves usl neglecting them trying to find something more from other things or people we may think would fulfill us but losing the people who truly loves us. As for Rome, she discovers that there is more outside of her relationship, as if she comes out from the cave and discover her worth as an individual and a human being an idea suitable to uplift women’s capability to shine on their own beauty.

      Finally, let us move on with a much deeper story about life and death. Its complexities, and the realizations of an aging lady in the character of Lola Igna.

 Directed by Eduardo Roy Jr. is Lola Igna. Lola Igna, played by veteran actress Angie Ferro, tells the story of a 118 year old woman living in the rice fields of a rural barrio who suddenly became a somewhat local celebrity when her granddaughter and the local mayor suddenly tells her that she might potentially be the world’s oldest living grandmother. With this in mind, people around her does everything to keep her on her feet alive and kicking to seek after the possibility of receiving an award and annual benefits if so happen her life goes beyond the record. The contrast of contentment in life and greediness by the “director-as-author”  Roy, as what we can define auteur theory, has been depicted clearly in the story as how lola Igna prepares herself to the next life while the others expectantly awaits for another year to add to her life.  Because of this, people started to go and visit the quiet and sleepy barrio to witness Lola Igna and have her interview or a picture with her. Another contrast is shown here; the simplicity of life Lola Inga is enjoying in the dirt of her field while the technological life the so called “selfie” generation is now living who captures her as a subject.

 Among the local tourists flocking to the lola’s small hut house is apparently her great great grandson Tim who is an aspiring vlogger. Tim decided to live with his great great grandmother and record his moments with her. We can see how the director was able to combine the contrasts of simplicity of old life to the technological advancement of the present generation and the gap between the two generations, in the person of Tim, thus, being able to remove the wall between two opposite characters. As a result and soon enough, the two started to get closer and start bonding together. Roy, wittingly advanced the movie with its ideas of the theme without disregarding the heart in it and the values of family in the Philippine culture depicted in Philippine cinemas. 

It may have started with the realization of  lola Igna, people of her age would finally think of; death nearing. It was one ordinary night, lola suddenly wakes up and noticed a shadowy figure in the rice fields, she went to the fields and sees her dead husband Carias and all the other dead loved ones she knows. The director was bale knot only to inculcate the values of traditional Filipino family but the culture of old beliefs we still have nowadays. In this scene, Lola Igna took this vision as a sign that Carias and the others are trying to tell her that her death is upon her. With the thought of death nearing, the next succeeding days, lola begins preparing for her death staring with her ‘kabaong’ and asked Tim to help her do so. 

The story of Lola Igna explores the complexities of life, death, aging and abandonment. As a 118 year old grandmother living alone in the rice fields, lola seemed to be doing okay on her own but soon after the unexpected death of Mang Gusting, whom she actually help delivered when she was a midwife, she pours her heart out at the wake and expresses how she feels abandoned by the people she knew and that made it clear that life seems odd for a certain purpose. Roy was able to depict the reality of an old aged person’s developmental stage as how Erick Erickson presented it; Ego Integrity vs. Despair. Somehow,  Lola Igna’s contentment in life and how she fiercely lives it despite all the hardships she encountered her in her youth created a contend and mature character in her yet the realization of fear of the present life she is having started not being able to recognize the people in the town, began pushing her to face the end. 

The end of the story may have given the viewers their own conclusion when in a seemingly quiet but meaningful scene of Lola Igna cradling a baby upon helping a mother give birth to a new life. She gives a meaningful look at the camera expressing fright and exhaustion. Alook that might give an ending to continue or not? To give up or to give in?  Like anybody else, when one seems to retire but have no choice but to live on, the sight Lola igna gives in the part of this film is deep. Indeed, the movie Lola Igna is one wittingly and heart melting depictions of life’s complexities, divergence and realizations one must give credits to.

The Pista ng Pelikulang Pilipino to include these three movies;  LSS  Last Song Syndrome is  directed by Jade Castro, Open produced by self-proclaimed auteur-driven production Black Sheep, and Lola Igna directed by Eduardo Roy Jr.  gives the Philippine Cinema a different face; daring, unusual, yet meaty and sensible. Beyond the simplicity of its production, the auteur inspired movies has gotten its way to the next level of portraying themes that tend to break the usual flow in the Philippine cinematic world. Refreshing, bold, and direct, each movie has its own light to depict so relatable to the present, humanely with the emotions and touching and moving through its values for realization of the audience. 

It is agreeable that the Pista ng Pelikulang Pilipino is achieving its mission that is to recognize Filipino artistry in films, to promote our country and its talents globally, to protect our film cultural heritage and to empower Filipino through film development and education. Indeed the evolution of the norm in Philippine cinema has gone to another level focusing on the value and the quality of its content rather than just being entertaining. The paving of its way to attract young artists in film making is recognizable as to see such young artists stepping forward to showcase their talents and skills. It is also obvious that such theme arose from the perspective of the younger generations, the so-called, the “millennials”. With the changing worldview in the aspects of love, relationships, commitments, life, death and more, these film artists never fail to uncover the reality of each aspect brokennes, failure, acceptance, responsibility and more. Though it catches the younger viewers interest it still depict the values and the consequences of the story characters choices and never fails to depict the picture of life in the real world. Such as with LSS perception of romance and responsibility, on which took the romance in a different light to consider the responsibility in the family the character has. It is also relatable and funny in a way when the first meeting happened in the middle of a traffic in Edsa, which obviously everyone can relate. As with Open, it can be observed its view of commitment and love where the pros and cons of Open relationship is highlighted and even more the consequences of losing someone as a consequence of the characters’ choices. Though heartbreaking on the side of Rome, hope is still elicited when she finds herself moving on to something that would uplift her self worth and abilities as an independent woman, contradicting to what  Ethan ended up after his search for his own desires in lust with somebody else, a message more suitable to those in their marrying age. And lastly, as with Lola Igna’s view of life and complexities of death. It is also recognizable how the two generations symbolized in the character of Tim and Lola Igna can be joint and how the relationship between the family is depicted. Though in seemingly slow and light pictures, scenes such a how lola Igna stares to the coffin for herself and the scene she looked at the camera portrays a lot of emotions, realizations oozing in such simple scenarios.    Issues that are presented in a simple but detailed way, values that had not gone overlooked and the relatability of each story to the lives of each Filipino that gives each other more weight. 

The aim of Pista ng Pelikulang Pilino in the reservation of our own culture and values is also seen in these three movies. From the setting, the characters, to cultures and beliefs depicted in each. In the cinematic world where superheroes gains much attention to viewers young and old, the Pista ng Pelikulang Pilipino has paved way to its own definition of filmmaking. Experimental as how it seems, yet the aim of delivering quality filipino movies beyond just the purpose of entertainment is still being achieved.  Meaty, as how it can be described the wittiness of each film makers is outstanding plus the craft of each actors and actresses.  In the movie LSS, the aim to promote talents and skills is clearly seen where the involvement of Ben and Ben is recognizable. The movie itself did not just showcase the talent of the film makers, and of the actors but of the new generation of Filipinos in the world of Filipino Music. In the movie Open, it portrays the mentality of our country men finding opportunity abroad such as in OFW. however the idea of an open relationship is unusual in a Filipno setting, yet the values of what love really means is still preserved. In the case of Lola Igna, we can see the face of poverty perfectly played in the role of Lola Igna. from the past she had in her youth, to the details of her usual lifestyle in the present  and the realization of death derived from Filipino beliefs, this movie is a packaged of a glimpse of our culture and hardships as Filipinos.  

In the idea of auteur-theory, it is obvious that Filipino films nowadays has truly evolved from a usual flow of cinematic aspects to a more diverse kind. The idea of the auteur theory can be clearly observed in each story as how the author-director turns to life the script into motion pictures. The director achieved its role as a powerful creative source to deliver the message of the film in different angles achieving its goals capturing the audience with the content, especially the reflection of the lives, culture, and values of Filipinos, relatable in almost all areas and not on the idea of entertainment alone. 

As how Pista ng Pelikulang Pilipino envision that is to teach every Filipino to create a thriving and self-sustaining film industry that contributes to the cultural and economic development of the country, and how it is proven in the emerging quality films such as LSS, Open and Lola Igna, we can say that the Philippine Films has gone to another level and is gaining credits on its own globally. The vision of Pista ng Pelikulang Pilipino is something to look forward to. The vision that is slowly taking its way, truly Filipino films is gaining its own distinction in the film industry worldwide. The creativity of each Filipino director and artists and the recognizable contributions to Philippine Cinema is truly a talent we Filipinos should be proud of.