#and he thinks that just makes him so special that he doesnt have to do anything
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just aizen and baby trapping... can you see the vision... just him being a yan and breeding his squad member bc she keeps going agasint his word, aizen doesnt want her to ingure herself, after all aizen needs her for his plan..
tw: noncon, breeding, baby trapping, manipulation, power imbalance, abuse, size difference, humiliation, forced orgasm, sensory manipulation
All characters depicted are 18+
Aizen is a very calm man, frighteningly so, it would take the most dire of dire circumstances for him to so much as break a sweat, let alone lose his cold composure. Very few things irritate him, although insubordination is one thing he can't stand for, especially if it's continuously being done by the same person over and over again.
Normally Aizen would murder or mentally break anyone who'd dare to defy him, but he can't do that in this special case, this minion of his is required for his grand plan, and losing her would be a minor setback, a slight annoyance even. She's a tiny piece in his vast puzzle, but even the absence of the smallest of pieces will make the picture look incomplete. So instead of murdering or imprisoning her, Aizen has a different way to force her to remain by his side.
Aizen could easily just use his ability to instil feelings of adoration into her, but that would be too easy, not very fun for him. While usually a very serious man, Aizen does desire some recreation from time to time, and he isn't fully immune to desiring pleasures of the flesh, and if he can use those pleasures to ensure his plan stays on track, then Aizen will gladly indulge himself on her.
Aizen doesn't need to worry about getting her alone, he knows Las Noches inside and out, so if he needs to find her, he'll do so very quickly, whether she's preoccupied or not. Aizen's expression is unreadable, he's smiling like usual, but it doesn't reach his eyes, it never does reach those cold, calculating eyes of his. His touch is deceptively gentle yet firm as he holds her in place, his words as vague as usual.
"Why are you so insistent on defying me, hmm? Are you perhaps upset about not having enough responsibilities in my ranks? Well don't worry, I'll give you the most important responsibility of them all..."
His vagueness doesn't last very long when his intentions become very clear, as he pulls down her underwear, keeping her in place with his superior strength and size. Aizen is only doing this to remind her of his authority and to give her his 'responsibilities', but that doesn't mean he can't have a bit of fun with it, cruelly mocking her for being such a silly girl in thinking she can defy him without consequence, his mockery of her not stopping when when he's balls deep in her.
He isn't gentle, but he isn't rutting into her like an untamed beast in heat, he's not a simpleton who thinks with the head between his legs, instead he'll move at a pace that's somehow both too slow and too fast at the same time, the tip of his long cock brutally poking against her cervix with each thrust as he prepares to bestow her with his progeny.
Somebody walking in on them is a very real possibility, in fact she won't even know if someone is able to see them or is watching them, because Aizen will manipulate her perception to make it impossible for her to see anybody but him, so she has no clue if they're alone or surrounded by spectators. He's feeling especially cruel, so Aizen will tell her how good a show she's putting on for his Espada, even if they're completely alone.
There is one word that can be used to perfectly encapsulate Aizen's entire being: manipulation. Aizen can manipulate people with both his words and his Kyoka Suigetsu. In this case, Aizen will use his Kanzen Saimin to control not her mind, but her bodies reactions. He won't tell her that he's controlling her body of course, letting her believe that she's cumming uncontrollably on his cock all on her own.
"My my, cumming again are we? Your mouth might lie, but your body certainly doesn't... This is precisely why you're more suited for breeding than fighting."
Aizen will walk away from this lovely little encounter feeling very accomplished. Not only did he put a wayward puzzle piece back into it's proper place, but he ensured that it stays there permanenty. He doesn't really care about having a child, children aren't very interesting for him to interact with, but she certainly needs a baby in her fertile little womb, it'll do wonders to keep her compliant.
#bleach#bleach x reader#bleach thousand year blood war#bleach smut#headcanon#bleach headcanons#x reader#reader insert#aizen#sosuke aizen#aizen x reader#aizen smut#aizen sosuke x reader#aizen sosuke smut
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my biggest problem with hazbin hotel writing after everything
guys do you notice how badly vivzie doesn't want to directly mention the theme of morality?
its always there, it flashes everywhere but she chooses to walk on edges. the redemption, extermination, falling in hell, god we literally have hell vs heaven war with these themes. and after everything the question "is this the right thing to do?" just exists like small stream of wind.
never in the show charlie asks herself "is my redemption plan is right?" she should know that there are very bad people who can also badly hurt others because she is there for a long. but this knowledge never brings up and we have to accept the fact that charlie is just an infantile and too stupid to comprehend evilness despite also knowing what good means. its really weird how the princess of hell who should already know the hellish history and society acts like she for the first saw someone like valentino being evil. SHE DIDNT LIVE FOR LONG IN HEAVEN (what could explain the blindness towards evil nature), SHE LIVED FOR LONG IN HELL, FUCKING HELL. how after many years she cant deal with the evilness of her people and instead just believe in a power of friendship? WHERE SHE WAS SO SHELTERED TO GET THIS MINDSET IN THE END?
its very weird how every theme that is revelant in this show, is literally connected with defining good vs evil BUT vivzie never, never makes us think about that. we just should accept the writing telling us what happened is good or bad, or even worse, doesn't matter and it was just for funnies (like that rpe joke with Sir Pentious).
the reason why this morality thing got in my mind is that im afraid what season 2 brings to us. im afraid that they will never mention elephant in the room: possibly irredeemable people. and hearing another doubtful information makes me scared that viv goes to the route "actually, there is no evil people and it just fault of some metaphoric disease that makes people evil!". and im very afraid of this happening in the future because it seems to be that everyone just ignores the existence of Irredeemableness. like doing evil doesnt really matter and there is just winners/losers side of history.
for some reason Sir Pentious in the past got in hell because of him ignoring the situation. let me mention he is the first to be ascended of all sinners and this backstory makes him pitiful for a reason. of all backstories, they chose the most depressing one. where he is a shut-in who had no will to change the inevitable situation. bro do not tell me you didnt do this to make another point of "innocent sinners"
emily. if not for emily, i wouldn't writing this. she is the angel version of charlie who also promotes "sinners deserve redemption" but also ignores existence of serial killers, rpists and another kinds of "that evil" people. the same problem charlie has but i can understand it at least.
I am not scared for saying this. viv seems to be not mature enough to even explore the concept of her show if she is afraid of exploring complete monsters (like exploring undoubtable evil AND NOT MAKING IT CONTROVERSIAL LIKE WITH VALENTINO AND ANGEL) and just stays on the line "of pure good (every main character) and wrongful revenge (VVVs, Adam, Lute and other exorcists, not gonna be surprised of Lilith adding to this group)".
of all characters, i only feel sympathy for lute (and also sir pentious with how he was handled throughout the show). sera was just stupid and wanted bloodshed because of her special placement in an angelic hierarchy. i dont believe this bullshit of her caring about well-being of her people when she went with extermination as it was nothing. all she should have said is that there are very horrible people and hell is not worth of being a threat to her lovely power. well, they didn't go for this route for some reason. now sera got in wrong too and she got in the first group with everyone.
TELL ME
TELL ME WHY NO ONE STILL POINTS ELEPHANT IN THE ROOM AND WE JUST ACCEPT THAT HELL IS JUST MISUNDERSTOOD
This is why I only care about Lute now because she is the only who has brain to acknowledge that there's monsters in hell
im so done with this show bro
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Morro design + a ton of notes.
#alek art#lego ninjago#ninjago#morro wu#lloyd garmadon#featured !#2024#the colors are soooo not going to stay consistent. just because i dont really work with green... ever... not the most happy with these#i need to do a ton of redraws its actually really fun... might open rqs#i know he was 15-20 when he died and its said he was a little younger than the ninja when it happened . and during s5 i see them as#18-20 so i will put him at 19 just because he gives 19 year old vibes (???)#i think i talked about the wings before. they can flap!! he does have ears !!! dont ask how it works. ninjago doesnt make sense#i say this when im the one overthinking how all their powers work and robot schematics. oops#i finished s5 .. i think we'll watch s6 tonight (queueing this on the 14th for reference) so prepare for stuff from that#art was kicking my ass and then i drew morro and all was fixed. morro my new muse ? i cant wait for day of the departed special#FUN FACT ive never seen it. and i like morro so im like itching for it dude. hes so mal core isk
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sorry if idk this but what do you think about Wordgirl now in 2024 do you still like it do you still want to make art or talk about it or are you just done with all of it forever and plus i seen that you haven't made art of it since 2022 so you just done with all of it oh yeah and what about The Magnus Archives + Wordgirl ao3 fic too like is that just going to be and i know that your working on 2 au's now just wanting to know that's all
My interests tend to come in intense bursts and then fade. Unless something like, big happens like it gets a reboot its unlikely I'll be coming back to it anytime soon. As for the fic I don't have any current plans to finish it unfortunately.
#Its so shocking whenever anybody mentions that fic to me#like its just such a specific combo of interests how are there this many people interested in it...#I have some fragments of unfinished chapters for it laying around but I was struggling to get them to work#and I definitely dont have the motivation to finish them now#If youre curious the chapters were going to be Slaughter avatar miss Power and Web avatar Mr Big#and possibly Flesh avatar Butcher but I never got around to starting that one#The Miss Power chapter was basically going to be about her having kind of lost her thread#I wanted to leave a lot of ambiguity as to what happened with her home planet#but she hadnt been in contact with them for agessssss and her radio is damaged and her ship is in bad shape#the chapter was just going to be her being like 'pfff I dont interpersonal connection Im doing great out here. Murdering. All on my own'#Well she has her little squirl thing but she treats him like an animal#mr giggle cheeks or whatever#anyway I wanted it to imply that whatever happened her bloodthirst was destroying her#The Mr Big chapter was from Lesley's perspective#She would have been one in a long long line of assistants that Mr Big went through like candy#Lesley is his favorite though because. while she is terrified of him. shes still willing to push him. to be honest with him#but she also knows exactly when to step off. when to lie to appease him#( its always a tossup as to whether he wants a sweet lie or the harsh truth that day. He can always tell either way#its a gamble he does to be cruel. She always picks right though. or maybe he's more lenient with her than he should be)#He likes that she knows exactly how to push him without ever stepping over the line#He likes that her guilt and revulsion are slowly eating her up inside but shes too selfish to leave#She likes being special. She likes the idea of ruling the world alongside him#She'll always be second in command but shell be so much higher than everyone else#and shes willing to do anything to get that#Mr big doesnt think shell ever make it that far#but he likes her anyway#shes the one assistant he'll be sad about dying#OK damn apparently I did still have things to say about this old fic DAMN#still not gonna finish it tho. they call me the struggler becaus.e writing is a struggle...
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my favorite baby style ncu continuity is cute tiny hopeless romantic kindergarten disney prince stan falling in love with kyle broflovski at first sight and buying every flavor of ring pop trying to propose to him like 'you are...the most Beautiful person i've ever seen.'
and evil feral kindergarten nj kyle threatening to bite him, fight him and end his pitiful life like 'and you are...so Gahdamn WEIRD. stay the hell away from me, yA FREAK!' and trying to bear mace him skdhs
— but then k-garten stan doing something incredibly wholesome, mindboggling stupid and storybook chivalrous to save k-garten kyle's life, the ice around his cold black heart melting, bein forever changed and falling head over heels in love w boy hero k-garten stan...
...all to take the fATTEST L OF ALL FUCKING TIME because he is too emotionally constipated to confess his feelings and end up gettin stuck in the super best friend zone FOREVER bc every day perfect stan marsh gets lovelier, handsomer and....Fucking STUPIDER.
#nina speaks#i really do feel for ncu kyle...i do#that man got shafted#please note: if the super popular extremely pretty dark haired boy w/ big blue eyes confesses his love to you on day one#just say yes like just go along with it#however i will say that kyle being unapproachable and hating him and wanting to bear mace him did make him obsessed#which is soooooo mentally ill i am actually CRYING#but yeah because then youre going to realize that he is actually v sweet and cute and kind and wonderful and special#and your chest will start to swell and youll get light headed and want to start smiling and singing and swinging#and then you think he's gonna ask you to marry you again and he just asks you to be his super best friend forever#because he doesnt want to push it clearly u dont like him and he is just happy to be near you and spend time with you#and you want to push yourself off a cliff because now every person on planet earth is in love with stanley marsh#including you#and you are legitmately FUCKED#they really are who fell first who fell harder and i mean it#i love insane yandere black lab bf kgarten stan he is so funny like he has mental problems but i admire his detirmination#i also love emporer of evil probably has rabies new jersey potty mouth orange cat bf kgarten kyle who without a doubt 100%#would have a crush on a boy and send him death threats and be like Get Out Of My School because he makes him nervous#obsessed with my silly gay opposite attract sbf sons#ft baby stan like aw! u wrote me something <3#( can't read bc he's illiterate ) ( hugs kyle ) you're the BEST! ( ft kindergarten kyle having shaking and having convulsions )#pour one out for kyle#specifically jersey#because his stan d*ed he never recovered and then fell in love with the sexc rockstar vers
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A trend in Astarion fics that I find bizarre is the idea that he's never been treated gently during sex. This is difficult to believe for one simple reason: some of Astarion's victims were virgins.
Astarion: You were handsome. Shy. You'd never been kissed. Sebastian: You taught me how. And then you destroyed me.
I get the desire to make his current partner special by having their sex be good and wholesome in comparison to his other trysts, but this is a flawed sentiment. The cutscene of that first night together is incredibly tender from the kiss to laying on the grass - the only outlier being if you offer your neck - and if you sleep with Astarion but keep it at that night, Astarion himself says he will never forget you. Not because the PC was uniquely gentle with him in bed, but because they were the first person he ever slept with of his own free will. It's his choice that makes that night special to him moreso than anything the PC may or may not have done during that time.
#baldur's gate 3#astarion ancunin#astarion#the only exception i have to this is rimming. im down so bad for him being overwhelmed from being eaten out its not even funny#also the blood drinking since that is canonically new. makes me wonder how not being hungry would specifically affect him during sexy times#it's an eat or be eaten out world#...anyway#other factors can and probably do make their adult fun times special for him. particularly the intricacies of personal dynamics#a night w a pc that listens to him. lets him drink often. and saves the tiefs is def more special than one w a pc who does none of those#i really enjoy the tension between his hating heroic types and them being the most likely to provide the things he needs to survive#oh and smth thats somewhat related to this#i don't think astarion ever let his conquests see his back#in the clearing he's always facing his partner and even the camera doesnt show his back until the dramatic reveal#given that his victims were all one night stands it'd be p easy to convince each of them to do it face to face#leaves plenty of positions and ftf is oft more romantic which could def be an interesting conflict for him and his lover#so many common gestures of affection have been ruined for him. theyre just motions at best now#that makes it easier for their faces to be ingrained in his head so. bonus trauma lol
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No but actually coming from someone with fine wavy/curly hair who had some hair loss and lots of issue I really and truly wish I could sit down and talk with Chan because he really needs someone who understands curly hair to get him some products and show him what to do and he also needs to stop using heat. Like no straightening. No hair drying. Or at least very sparsely.
#like i think the reason it makes me so Eye twitch is bc I've been in a very similar spot#i get it. i loved straightening my hair loved colouring it too#but i didnt colour or straighten it for a good long while and it did help#didnt cure me! but it did help.#and my hair got back to the spot where i could colour it again without as much issue#and mind you i do sometimes curl my hair or blow dry it for special occasions like im not a be all end all never do anything to it again#person. honestly thats why so many methods and stuff always put me off bc they were so dramatically like NEVER DO A SINGLE FUN THING AGAIN#but with him it'd be interesting to see 6 months with no colouring (including black! black is better than bleach but it still damages!)#and especially no straightening/blow drying etc.#i think that would really help determine if those are the things causing trouble or if its something else#bc hormones and stuff can also do it#like at the end of the day i think hes lovely but its p clear his hair is something that bothers him and idk#i would like to see him get to the point where it isnt as much of an issue#also still ascertain he'd look good with it short but thats just me#anyway Woah long tangent Sorry#its all said with love#also he doesnt have super tight curls like my dad had Tight curls#but his are def more soft/loose so thats a factor too
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I'm so tired.
Bonus meme under cut:
This is both for him in general (or at least the fanon version dominating fics) and extra for him as Robin specifically tbh. Let him grow up and find an identity outside of being Bruce's emotional support child. It's not like it's actually helping anymore anyways.
#I really minimized the fanon Tim things in there.#Not the least of which including making their age difference wider so Jason can angst over beating up “a kid” despite only being 2 yrs apar#Overemphasizing Tim's “genius” and making Jason stupid & incompetent & everything he does is wrong#Skewed interpretations of the emotional & moral conflict in UTRH/between Jason & Bruce that somehow Tim fixes#Ceo Tim Drake “boohoo Dick wouldn't believe me that Bruce was alive (tho I never actually gave him my evidence abt that)”#WHICH FOR THE RECORD EVEN TIM HAD DOUBTS ABOUT HE JUST HAD TO BELIEVE OR ELSE HE'D FALL APART.#LIKE THE ENTIRETY OF RED ROBIN IS STRUCTURED TO CAST DOUBT ON TIM'S JUDGEMENT THE WHOLE TIME.#ITS NOT LIKE THIS KID DOESNT FAMOUSLY HAVE A HISTORY OF NOT TAKING GRIEF WELL. GESTURES AT THE FAILED SUPERBOY CLONES.#Sidenote I saw a post about ignoring that Tim was a sexist earlier on in his comics & tbh I think youre only allowed to do that if you dont#Woobify him. Like if you want to ignore that but overfocus on every bad thing ppl have done to him then fuck off#Also have you considered that him being sexist but growing out of it is a POSITIVE CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT ARC that could be interesting?#Wally for example had some really bigoted views bcs of how he was raised but grew out of & its why I always loved him#Frankly if you want to talk about Jason doing unforgivable injuries on the younger kids let's go to Battle for the Cowl#But then you'd have to scknowledge bad (worse) things happened to Damian too & Timmy isn't special now wouldn't you?#Look I'm not asking for every goddamned fic to be comics accurate but can we just not commit character assassination so consistently#That it's fucking impossible to find fic that *isnt* like that?#Fuck I don't even understand how people find this version of Tim engaging. It's funny for memes but an actual plot?#Managed to switch my “I think Tim is a little boring (neutral to affectionate)” to “I think Tim makes things boring (derogatory)”
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very very personal, just insight into where im at w my family and things that bother me/have encouraged me to move out
"i know youre moving out so im just gonna say no ones kicking you out and if you feel like this is something you have to do then ok"
thanks! i know im not being kicked out! but yknow i kinda yet a weird vibe when your out of touch husband takes me to a cemetery to yell at me, tell me im just like my father/dont give my father "the time of day", and that im "mean to people who care about me" in front of his dead mother's grave in a poor attempt at guilting me out of speaking my mind. but no yeah thanks for stating the fucking obvious that im leaving on my own terms
#problems!#people seem to underestimate how quick i am to make moves#the job market is piss. cant believe yall two would blame me for being unemployed when all i do from rise to slumber is hound ppl for jobs#im not going to stay in a house where i will be 'scared straight'. that shit doesnt work on me. in fact it has the opposite effect#i respect yall even LESS now#and youre so so fucking lucky one of my goals for next year is to make things right with you it would be easy to cut you off forever#same way i did with my abusive transphobic dad.#my mom is someone i know can do better and can actually listen to reason instead of being stuck in her generation's mentality of#'x is easy if you just do y. you kids have it so easy the world is at your fingertips' blah blah fucking blah#i am autistic i do not keep jobs easily. i am trans jobs do not want me. i am black and perceived as a woman. every customer at all of my#past jobs thinks i am rude or mean or have an attitude when i do nothing but treat others the exact way i would want to be treated#customers dont like what i say? i stop talking. customers dont like when i dont talk? i talk to them. rinse repeat#like i know im the problem here but all of my problems circle back to my autism and the fact that because im not a supergenius or#someone whose special interest is capitalism i fail at every avenue i try to jam myself in.#but yeah no i need to work harder i need to be taken to a FUCKING CEMETERY and yelled at by YOUR HUSBAND for wanting to go to the bathroom#in front of his mothers grave. god rest her soul and yall know im no christian so i actually mean that shit#because in his mind all i want to do is smoke and party. when i smoke because i have fucking migraines and g to shows#(two out of three of them being free and for the purpose of their willingness to 'get me out of the house')#bc i like music and i like engaging w my scene. but no its all violent noise theres no actual purpose or activism behind moshing. nope#its just one big party right. im just wasting my time right. because i like sleepin on a couch every night with no doors to close. yep ok#anyway heres to me getting my meds getting the fuck out and being somewhat far from my scene now that im moving#hows that for smoking and partying all the time huh?#if any of yall read this i am so so sorry. bitching about my stepdad will become a thing i think#hes one of those bible thumpers that are totally boring and indifferent to differences around them and thinks my mom is just like him#in some ways? she is. but she is a people pleaser and will never take her wants or her feelings seriously#because she had the unfortunate upbringing in being brainwashed into thinking her feelings/wants are sinful#shoutout to my christian or catholic mutuals who are fucking normal and dont let some old fantasy novel control your life. peace#religion mention
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I crack ship Boothill and Aventurine bc I get a laugh outta Churin constantly sending BH credits via special means to avoid detection with the cringiest gooiest sappiest messages known to man to throw anybody off
And then it gets serious
#Churin (anonymous): Get yourself smth nice babygirl (sent 1000000 credits)#BH: I’m gonna get that muddle-fudger next time I see him-#✮┆ ( .ooc. );#//Churin just keeps sending money on a whim to support his little hitman’s IPC clowning#//BH is grateful but keeps thinking there’s a catch—ofc there is; Churin wants a friend!#//I love it getting to the point where BH goes Fudge this and actively starts demanding for more monies#//Hey; might as well drain the IPC’s funds while he’s getting this#//Churin anonymously pays for all his bar tabs; all his repairs and upgrades: bro feels so happy to take care of sb#//Doesnt even bat an eye; he just gets so happy to be made use of#//BH ironically calling Churin the Wifey/hubby/spouse at home if asked abt his funds#//Churin NEVER lets him live it down when he accidentally hears it over call#//But then gets all flustered when BH decides to play along and refer to him as such going forward#//If asked abt his spending; Churin might say it’s for a pet project of his or for his lil kitty cakes#//BH threatens to get his ass if Churin EVER refers to him as ‘kitten’ when he hears—Churin proceeds to use &make that his contact name lol#//Do like the idea of BH offering to pay him back and Churin refusing until he finally concedes and says BH has GOT to collect smth from#everywhere he goes and leave it somewhere for Churin to pick up. so he can have mementos#//BH at first getting anything then eventually tailoring it to what Churin likes after getting to know him some#//Churin keeps every single one and takes special care of each and every little gift#//Oh no#//I don’t think this is crack ship to me anymore ncndn
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Gojo and Geto are not opposites. They are two sides of the same coin. Toji is Geto's opposite and Yuuji is Gojo's opposite. Just like how Yuuji is Sukuna's opposite.
#jjk#jujutsu kaisen#gojo satoru#geto suguru#toji fushiguro#yuuji itadori#and yall gonna read this and wonder wtf do i mean#well i have already said what i wanted to say ab toji and geto so i wont repeat myself#ab yuuji and gojo tho#gojo is indifferent to people he deems weaker than him#he doesnt hate them nor love them i think the whole flower metaphor tells us enough ab what gojo thinks of others#unlike him yuuji is overly empathic and sympathetic with others#he cares TOO much#gojo thinks he is special and yuuji thinks he is worthless#so its why i think they are opposite each other just like how their ideologies ab the world and other people are 😗#its actually the same w geto and toji 😗😗 just based on their ideologies#gojo doesnt really care ab his students as people but as flowers as potential to bloom#so as sorcerers 😗#meanwhile yuuji cares ab people as individuals#does it make sense ? ???#so yea i think gojo and sukuna are similar if it was not clear in the manga that they are
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Its the middle of the night and instead of sleeping I keep thinking about Aviae and Anders's dynamic ougaggga
#dragon age#oc: aviae surana#like. they have ~10 year age gap give or take#i think little four year old aviae saw anders and just decided she was going to follow him around#because she refuses to cooperate with literally anyone else anders gets stuck with babysitting duties#(he acts like he hates it at first but he really doesnt. although he doesnt appreciate the extra attention from everyone else. makes it#harder to plan escapes yk)#sometimes i worry im overindulging in these two being so family like. then i remember that i can do what i want and avi is my oc so#anyways. anders teaching her to read and write because shes FOUR and so so little and doesnt know how to do hardly anything#and as she gets older aviae decides to specialize in spirit healing because of anders#(he acts wounded when shes better at it than he is but in honesty hes just so proud of her)#they have a very sibling dynamic and it makes me sick to think about. in a good way though#i think as aviae got older she started trying to help anders with his escapes#she probably assisted at least a little bit with the escape after karl. even if it was just distracting someone lmao#anyways. they are so very special. to me#worldstate: mage rights#i may be cringe but i am free. idc <3#i think the idea of anders and surana/amell beinh close before awakening is neat idk#aviae and anders dynamic is funny becuase like. the tiny little elven mage who you watched grow up is now your boss and is also the you kno#hero of fucking fereldan. crazy#my ocs
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God. One of my little sisters is such a bitch. She's done me some genuine damage in exacerbating my already social bad anxiety. But when I have dreams where she's been hurt or killed, it's so horrible bc she's still my lil sister :-(
#its bc last night my dad had a dream she was in a car wreck. he transferred that anxiety onto me#shes such a bitch tho.just like intolerant of things she doesnt understand. and she does not understand my unwell brain#i think she likes my youngest sistsr best now. which fair bc i do too but we used to be besties. we used to explore in the woods together#and play ellos and barbies and legos and poly pockets and magnets. and now we never text eachother. its sorta sad#its not just me tho. my youngest sister and i have a 4 year gap so we weren't really interacting much when were were little bc she was too#bby to me but shes such a genuinely lovely person now. shes a special ed and preschool teacher. i asked her mom how she ended up with both#of my sisters bc my middle sister is the most like entitled person i kno. like my parents r very generous and she doesnt think for a moment#about not accepthing things from them. she thinks shes owed that amd more. its so strange#and my mom was like. thank goodness i got the youngest bc otherwise id think something was wrong with me#im prob somewhere in the middle of them. my brain is just more fucked up so like im greatful but im struggling. theres not a ton of like#really obvious mental illness in my family tho. just here and there someone should b diagnosed and get a bit of help. my uncle is the only#other one who could possibly be bipo1ar but hes also got a lot of problems: severe adhd and possibly b0rderline. so it could just b that but#my dad says when u talk to him sometimes things just doent make sense bc hes had convos in his head wuth you so he thinks u kno already#idk. its interesting tho#unrelated
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reblogged the foundational girl+dog posts so that everyone can understand what's going on
#i have made some more choices:#theyre both bi/hes never thought about his gender in his life/shes a former teen star/he inherited a production studio/#her mom was also a singer/his brother is a lawyer specialising in harassment law/celebrity harassment/#both their mothers were hounded by press in their final years/arguably were driven to their premature deaths by the media/#everyone had a stress malfunction when she got into this career/their families are close/he was her mentor figure to watch out for her#when she was young/he wears a usb stick around his neck or clipped to his belt/this is a playlist made by her/they started doing this#the first time he went away on tour after his mothers death/they could switch to pure digital but he likes having the object/#he has a beloved antique box in his private studio which is just different usb sticks to this same purpose/#she compalins that it's so impractical and he has to have a special attachment to his music player to listen to it/#she doesnt stop making them/they delivery app order eachother fancy drinks when they're apart#/the first time they toured cross atlantic they went by boat bc shes scared of flying/his favourite movie is phantom thread#and hes secretly disappointed that she'd never risk poisoning him/shes terrifyed of disease but thinks thats lame so wont ever admit it#tad talks#girl+dog
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dryheaving rn i cant breathe whriutyeriufnkds WAEEEEEEEEEE i capital n Need him. im im im im yeah no thanks like guys Stopwhat if i die I NEED HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! sorry im crazy i love sunghoon so much guys hes so special to me and he always will be like he makes me laugh and smile and hes the most gorgeous man itw and when he smiles an angel is born and babies laugh and double rainbows form and the sun shines and birds sing and hes like a the marias song or a stephen sanchez song or a sabrina carpenter song specifically from eyes wide open more specifically best thing i got and i hope hes happy always and i hope the world explodes when hes sad
#⠀⠀──⠀⠀dumb & poetic. ㅤ#middle picture third line.#I CSANT BTEUTYARE#I WANT HIM SO BAD IAUEWFHER#okay Sunghoon theme Soon probablu.#wowowoowow im actually sick whys he so gorgeous#i need him btw#hes my boyf for reals.......#sorry i kind of spiraled originally it stopped after i need him but then i looked at him again adn Well.#I LOVE HIM SO MUCH :((((((#hes my muse everything i do and think and look at is for or about him#hes just so special to me once again like idk guys stop#GET ME OUT OFTHIS ENGENE LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#why isnt he real im so sad#sometimes i watch his old lives when im going to bed cos his voice is so comforting and i like seeing him being happy Stop. im kmsing#he makes me so HAPPYYYY im crying these pictures arent even that life changing compared to shirtless sunghoon but#I DONT KNOW lately hes been so happy and it makes me cry cos i missed him sooo much and im glad hes happier now#okay cringe bye i need to be sedated something about him makes me want to kiss his cheeks and hug him like#regardless of delusionness or whatever hes one of my favorite people ever i am very happy to be alive at the same time as him#imagine i missed him like what would my life even be#okay for real bye this is the most parasocial thing i have ever written he doesnt know me and i dont know him But.#i want him to be successful always#made this at 12:31AM CST.
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head's been full of bran-lily images lately. first proper date. bran always flustered and lily perpetually amused. I don't know what they have but it's good
#lily invites him over for tea but neither of them experience it in a normal fashion#it has a mild intoxicant affect on lily whereas for bran it's insubstantial. physically he can taste it but that information never makes it#-from his tongue to his brain.#what they have now is a tangled mess of unknown intent#what they have in the future is yet to be determined#it's messy because lily sees him as...well he's entertaining. amusement isnt the right word but yknow. light unserious fun#and physical attraction#bran doesn't know what he's allowed to feel and what he's supposed to feel#he's of the mind that a relationship is meant to be something Special and Emotional and You Just Know#and he doesn't know! doesnt know what he wants or what he feels#it's all so confusing and makes him feel immature#like a sapling unattended#i think for lily there's also an element of curiosity too. figuring out who he really is and what he wants and what he thinks#by all appearances it's a game of cat and mouse but underneath it's all questions unasked and waiting to see what the other will do
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