#THEN I MEET YOU and what happens ?? what happens then lucy gray?? dkjfnsdf

[lucygraysboy]

“hm?  what  do  you  mean?”  billy  purses  his  lips  to  keep  from  grinning  goofily,  his  eyes  twinkling  with  amusement  as  they  linger  on  lucy  gray’s  flushed  visage.  she’s  so  genuinely  innocent  that  he  almost  feels  bad  for  having  this  conversation  with  her  in  the  first  place.  “it’s  not  always  easy  to  wait  when  you’re  both  attracted  to  each  other,  and…”  he  pauses,  not  sure  how  to  put  his  thoughts  into  words  without  sounding  like  a  heartless  asshole  to  this  sweet,  angelic  girl  who  clearly  is  more  on  the  naive  side  when  it  comes  to  romance,  “you  don’t  want  to  marry  every  single  person  you  take  into  your  bed.  sometimes  sparks  fly,  but  you  both  know  it’s  only  temporary  and  there’s  no  hard  feelings  when  you  go  your  separate  ways.”  of  course,  he  has  to  think  of  alice  and  how  miserable  he’d  be  if  they  had  to  spend  their  entire  lives  together,  but  he’s  not  the  kind  of  man  who  kisses  and  tells  so  he  doesn’t  bring  her  up  as  an  example.  

“i  really  like  your  way  of  thinking,”  even  if  he  doesn’t  live  by  these  rules  that  are  so  dear  to  her  heart,  “but  what  happens  when  you’ve  already  promised  to  love  each  other  for  life  and  then  it  turns  out  you’re  not  compatible?  i  don’t  think  god  wants  us  to  be  miserable  or  truly  minds  if  we  experiment  before  settling  down.”  shrugging,  he  doesn’t  want  to  say  something  that  will  offend  her,  but  this  perfect  kind  of  love,  where  two  people  wait  to  tie  the  knot  and  then  live  happily  ever  after,  happens  mostly  in  fairytales.  “it  doesn’t  have  to  be  serious,  lucy  gray,  and  just  because  it’s  not  serious  doesn’t  immediately  mean  it’s  reckless.”  a  soft  sigh  escapes  his  lips,  his  gaze  falling  onto  her  hands,  struggling  not  to  look  up  and  marvel  at  these  cute,  burning  cheeks  of  hers.  he’s  not  trying  to  change  her  mind  or  corrupt  her,  but  she  should  know  that  love  comes  in  different  forms  and  sizes.  “and  that’s  perfectly  alright,  feeling  the  way  you’re  feeling.  it’s  okay.  you  don’t  have  to  prove  anything  to  anyone.”  he  doesn’t  want  her  to  worry  there  might  be  something  wrong  with  her,  the  way  he  felt  when  jesse  first  had  a  similar  conversation  with  him,  and  so  he  briefly  rests  his  hand  on  her  knee.  a  gentle  squeeze  to  comfort  her  and  then  it’s  gone,  not  trying  to  be  flirtatious,  just  a  good  friend.  “i’d  say  it’s  the  other  way  ‘round.  it  starts  with  pleasure,”  god,  why  does  this  word  taste  so  strange  on  his  tongue  all  the  sudden?  “and  babies  are  a  bonus.  an  afterthought.”  it  would  be  so  very  awkward  if  pleasure  didn’t  matter,  if  people  only  made  love  when  they  wanted  to  have  a  baby.

“i  won’t  hurt  you,  i  swear  it,”  he  repeats,  using  his  forefinger  to  gently  tilt  her  chin  up  and  make  her  look  him  in  the  eyes  before  taking  her  hands  into  his.  whereas  trust  is  the  most  important  thing  to  her,  this  is  the  most  important  thing  to  him  —  making  sure  the  ones  he  cares  about  know  they  can  rely  on  him  at  all  times  and  feel  safe  around  him.  “my  father  was  a  good  but  weak  man.  it  didn’t  matter  if  he  was  or  wasn’t  there.  he  couldn’t  protect  his  family.  my  ma  could  never  count  on  him.”  why  is  he  telling  her  this?  must  be  these  glossy  eyes  of  hers,  gleaming  in  the  last  rays  of  the  dying  sun,  so  warm  right  before  it  conceals  itself  over  the  horizon.  she  pulls  on  the  strings  of  his  heart  without  even  meaning  to.  “my  stepfather  was  even  worse  ‘cause  he  wasn’t  a  good  man.  he  could  never  hold  a  job  either,  didn’t  have  much  to  his  name,  not  that  it  stopped  him  from  frequent  visits  at  the  local  brothel.  nobody  ever  felt  safe  around  those  men,  not  my  ma,  not  joe…  and  so  i  promised  myself  to  never  be  like  them,  that  i’d  do  everything  in  my  power  to  never  hurt  the  ones  close  to  me.  what  i’m  tryin’  to  say  is  —  you  don’t  have  to  worry,  lucy  gray.  i  really  won’t  hurt  you.”  he  doesn’t  expect  her  to  trust  him  immediately,  knows  it  will  take  time,  but  he’ll  try  his  best  to  make  it  happen  one  day.

“so,  i’m  very  much  ready  to  take  on  this  challenge  and  make  sundance  and  spirit  jealous  of  our  friendship,”  he  laughs  softly,  letting  go  of  her  hands  and  cupping  her  warm  cheek.  his  thumb  caressing  the  skin  beneath  her  eye,  willing  to  wipe  away  any  tears  that  might  roll  down  her  face  and  pretend  he’s  never  seen  a  thing.  “yeah,  it  does,  doesn’t  it?  and  it  stinks  like  a  mammoth’s  fart.”  suddenly,  his  only  job  is  bringing  back  that  dazzling  smile  that  never  fails  to  make  his  heart  miss  a  beat.  “what  do  you  say  i  fix  you  a  bath  and  go  clean  up  the  mess  we’ve  left  in  your  bedroom?”  he  offers,  lowering  his  hand  into  his  lap  when  he  realizes  he  shouldn’t  be  getting  handsy  with  her.  “and  how  long  do  you  think  it  takes  to  grab  a  girl  like  you?  a  split  second  is  all  it  takes,  lucy  gray.”  trying  to  refrain  from  shaking  his  head  as  she  continues  to  rub  lotion  into  his  skin,  he  restores  to  huffing  and  shrugging  his  shoulders.  “you’re  very  welcome.”  giggling  as  her  skilled  fingertips  trail  down  the  side  of  his  face,  tickling  his  skin  and  making  it  tingle,  leaving  it  slightly  flushed.  he  loves  being  pampered  and  so  he  doesn’t  even  try  to  protest  when  she  moves  to  his  hands,  coating  both  of  them  in  this  shiny  substance.  “true,  but  your  birthday  should  be  about  you.”  she’s  so  selfless  that  it  makes  him  wonder…  does  she  ever  put  herself  first?  “that  sounds  like  such  a  fun  day,  very  sweet  of  her  to  care  for  you  like  that.”  he  hopes  maude  ivory  won’t  mind  having  a  helper  around.  “and  there’s  a  lake  nearby?”  he  didn’t  notice,  not  that  it  surprises  him.  he  was,  after  all,  barely  conscious  when  he  got  here.

"why's it gotta happen at all? why can't the two people in the relationship wait on it to happen." lucy gray wonders, not realizing she sounds a little naive on how strong emotions work and how compatibility is important to most people. to her, when she thinks about it, if she really finds herself smitten for someone... it won't bother her how they work in a bedroom. eyes trailing off... well, she doesn't think. that wouldn't matter? right? or would it? a world of confusion blinds her trying to decide. "i do think they abuse god's word. take his word and use it to their awful advantage. but this isn't about those perverts. this is about how men are supposed to wait too, not just the girls of the human race. this is about how some people just find it more special, not rushin' into things. to some... it just sounds more special and beautiful to promise each other to love each other for life before sharin' their bodies. since that seems to be god's opinion." she points out. "what do you mean a good time?" she felt like she might puke her cheeks were burning so viciously, "a good time's watching a band play or going to a party. sharin' yourself with someone is much more serious than that. you just can't trust people like that, be so reckless. unless it just doesn't bother you i guess. but personally, for me, i have to know i can really trust them and that they really mean it when they say they love me." she definitely takes it serious, it's not just something to do recklessly for a good time in her mind. she'd feel like she'd been violated, if she decided to love someone and they left her. let alone expose herself and let them have her in such a vulnerable way. it's a terrible disgusting feeling thinking of it... there might be something wrong with her, she thinks. since apparently it didn't play on everybody's mind like that, like it did hers. "well, it starts with babies primarily. then the other thing secondly. both still are reserved for after marriage, though."

"okay, well that's true. but if you really won't hurt me then we can compete by bein' the best of friends. we'll make the horses and rabbits so jealous, they'll wanna be us." she decides with a giddy smile, since that's what she wanted and still wants to be reassured of... that he won't hurt her. and being told that, well that just strikes a nerve. even if he ends up not even meaning it... being told she won't be hurt by someone made her heart pang before causing emotions to well in the barrels of her honey eyes. she wasn't crying yet, but something of the way he said it made her eyes prick with tears. "gosh, that oil definitely leaves an itchy smell." blaming the oil and cloth being so close to her eyes, she thinks that could be a reasonable excuse in case it looks noticeable that lucy gray now worries about. then he puts the cloth down and closes his eyes which helps. the brunette stays quiet, smearing in lotion with both hands, rubbing it into both of his cheeks softly and then over his chin and forehead– brushing these dark little locks away so the lotion doesn't stick to his fresh clean hair. "i can't help but think you're a little crazy, thinkin' someone got me all in a matter of a minute or two?" she didn't know what he had to be paranoid like that before, because she's never lived a day in his shoes. "but..." as much as that CONFUSED her, brows knitting, "it's sweet. so thank you, for comin' to my rescue." she sheepishly laughed as features softened, truly not understanding his level of paranoia like that. but appreciative. smoothing lotion down his neck with little pats then taking his left hand, rubbing in a small spots of lotion into his skin there too then picking up his right hand, doing the same again. "both are good wishes," she corrects gently, wellbeing of her loved ones and these little things like a picnic and a necklace. "well, maude ivory usually makes it a fun day for me. it used to be my mama, but now it's maude ivory who usually brings me over a pastry and we go to the lake to play all day."