#and he says. i miss her like an amputation mom. how do you keep going?

[july-19th-club]

love an ending that is 'happy' in that a desirable outcome is produced, but made complicated by the fact that the protagonist has given up something integral to themself in order to make it so. it's sort of uncool in some circles to admit you LIKE when characters give up something really cool for something pretty basic, but it's all about context and quality of storytelling, right? that sort of conviction - this is a part of my personality that i am permanently renouncing access to, and it's my choice, and i'm going to miss it, but i'm not going to regret it - that's compelling. ending in which a character who loves nothing more than the rush of finding the answer to a question is handed, one day, a puzzle they just don't want to solve. and that part of their life is over, but it's not a bad thing. maybe the answer doesn't need to be known. maybe not knowing it opens you up to a creative mindset you never had before. character who gains some kind of special power chooses to give it up not because they no longer love the ability, not because it hasn't improved their life, but because this thing they love comes with costs, is getting in the way of a life someone they love or loved and lost would want them to live. i'm glad it turned out this way. i miss the missing thing with all my heart. i would let go of it again if i was asked to choose.

[and-so-he-rambled]

(Got amputation on a whump wheel and chose Leo)

Leo rolled out of bed with a groan, stumbling a bit as his balance was briefly thrown off. He was still getting used to this.

His arm lay in ist capsule, disconnected and sitting pretty like a Halloween decoration. He hated looking at it.

He used to be the weak one, but now, with his arm off and a metal hole where his bionic arm was made to slot in, he felt weakest of all. He was back home again, never quite able to be away from his mom for too long. Janelle liked the visits too, growing up into a firecracker of a lady and studying engineering at the local college. He’d always wanted to be cool for her, but he was a bit of a trophy boyfriend these days.

He made his way to the kitchen, his left arm habitually opening doors as his stump hung uselessly. The right arm was too powerful anyways when it was connected, so he’d taught himself to be left handed. He still slipped up sometimes away from the reinforced walls and doorknobs of the island, but he was getting better at it.

He found his way easily in the dark, familiar with the house as he pulled a glass from the cabinet.

“Leo?” Light filled the room, his mother standing in the doorway in her robe. Her baby belly was barely showing, but he found that he noticed it every day. A reminder he’d have a little sibling, one he swore to keep safe from their crazy life. Was this how his mom had felt when he started going on missions?

He was startled by a cry from his mom, a hiccuping sob that she tried to cover with his hands. The glass slipped from his weak fingers, exploding on the floor.

“Mom? Are you okay? Is it the baby? Do I need to call Davenport?” He asked in a flurry, watching her shake her head while tears began to escape her eyes. She took a step forward and he held his arm out to stop her. “Mom, there’s glass, stop there!”

She didn’t respond, just staring with her hand over her mouth. He followed her gaze, right to his stump.

Oh.

“It’s okay mom, it’s okay.” He tried to assure her, stepping away from the mess to reach out and touch her. It felt safer, hugging her without fear of crushing her. He missed being able to hold her with both arms and squeeze, the way she used to groan dramatically as if he was the strongest kid in the world instead of a stringbean little punk.

“I-“ She attempted to speak, swallowing. “I’d never seen it off before. I didn’t realize…”She held him, pressing her teary face into the crook of his neck. When he’d she gotten so small? When had he gotten so big?

“My baby. My baby.” She repeated, one hand around her boy and the other on her small bump. It made his chest ache, hearing his mother cry. She never cried, said there were always better things to do than cry. She used to tell him she cried to say he was born and when he got his first shots, but he’d never seen her cry in front of him in all his years. It felt wrong. He was the emotional little kid who would run to her and son into her chest. She was the strong woman who wiped his tears.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry for everything.” She whispered, squeezing his hand.

“Mom, you have nothing to be sorry for.” He tried to assure her. “This wasn’t your fault, none of it. I just got hurt, it happens. I’ve got training now, it won’t happen again. It’ll be okay.” He just spoke in a stream of consciousness, word vomit that seemed to help. Her little sobs died down, hands frantically wiping away the traitorous tears.

“I’m your mother Leo, I’ll always feel responsible for you, no matter what you do, or how old you get. It’s my job.” He wisely didn’t mention the birthdays she missed for reporting or all the times she forgot to pick him up from school. It didn’t really matter now, she’d been a good mom, taken care of him after his dad died. He loved her.

“I’m okay.” He promised through the phantom pains and nightmares. He’d try and remember to wear it when he left his room, to hide the reminder. Just because he’d gotten used to the sight doesn’t mean the rest would.

“Just be careful baby.” She pressed a kiss to his head, standing to get the broom as she gathered herself together, shooing him away when he tried to help.

He promised he would, going back to his room to hopefully sleep. He’d be heading back to the island tomorrow.

-

A week later, Mr, Davenport built the space elevator.

[panfluidme]

Purple's Second Chance

Master Post, Chapter Three

CHAPTER FOUR: TOUR

Leo and Casey led Donnie through the base. Shortly into the tour, Leo had told Casey not to cling to Donnie as Donnie didn't like physical touch. That was a little shocking for Casey to learn as Uncle Tello always let him touch him.

Right, this isn't his Uncle Tello. This is the younger, more scared version of him who didn't know who Casey was. Casey just had to remember that.

"Leon?" Donnie asked softly, Casey trailing in front of them.

"Yeah?"

"What exactly happened?"

"What do you mean?"

"The aliens. How did they come to invade Earth?"

"It started seventeen years ago, a few months after you laid your eggs. They had hatched and the family couldn't be happier." Leo sighed softly. "Hypno and the worm guy had robbed a store, so the four of us went to stop them, Splinter and Robbie were taking care of your hatchlings, as you were found of calling them."

Donnie frowned. "Where are they not?"

"Dead. You're the last White Turtle left."

"Oh."

"Anyway, Hypno and the worm had gotten the key to the Prison Dimension for the Foot Clan. We fought and eventually ended up losing. The Foot opened the doorway and out came the Kraang. We've been fighting them ever since."

"What happened to Raph and Papa?"

"Dad died a year or two in the war saving a group of survivors. A mission had gone wrong and killed Raph."

"Casey, that is his name, right? Great, Casey mentioned that he thought I was dead."

"As April said, you died of a Kraang infection. I believe it happened shortly after the Kraang came, but took years to kill you. I should've noticed something, you went through it alone."

"How did I get infected?"

"We don't know. Maybe you got bit and didn't amputate, but that doesn't sound like you."

"Sensei Leonardo!" someone called out. "We're running low on food supplies."

"I've got to take care of this. Casey, keep leading Donnie around. Last stop should be his laboratory."

Casey nodded. "Got it, Sensei."

Leo left, leaving the two alone. An awkward silence covered them as they walked. Casey would occasionally glance at Donnie then sigh.

"Casey, you can say what's on your mind."

"I miss you. I know it's fucked up to miss the you I knew and love when you're right here."

"It's not fucked up. You have every right to miss the me you know. I understand why you would."

"You do?"

Donnie nodded. "I haven't matured into what you know me as. You get to miss me and I won't try to replace him."

"Can I call you Uncle Tello?"

"If you want to."

Casey smiled widely. "Thank you, Uncle Tello!"

"Leo mentioned that I have a lab?"

"Yeah, but that's the last part of the tour. If you're anything like how you used to be, once you're in there, you won't come out until meal time."

"Damn, you caught me. I'm going to guess that Cassandra's your mom?"

"She is! How did you know?"

"You look like her, your name, Casey, is her nickname. My guess is that your last name is Jones. You mentioned I call you Jr or Casey-Double J, so I'm guessing your full name is Casey Jones Jr."

"Have you always been so smart?"

"I have! Dad said when I was younger, I would throw tantrums, I still can and will, but him reading a book about something scientific would calm me down every time. Once I got older, I started to read more on my own and not just during tantrum. I've been keeping up on learning as much as I can."

Casey chuckled. "You used to tell me facts to help me fall asleep."

"That sounds about right." Donnie grinned. "How tall do I get?"

"So tall! I don't remember Major Raphael much, but Sensei Leonardo says that you were just a few feet shorter than him and he was almost fourteen feet tall!"

"I'm almost as tall as Raph?"

"That's what I've been told."

"What happened to Leo's arm?"

"You and him were going on a mission. You both got stuck under a dead Kraang's suit. You had to cut him out and get rid of his arm and he cut off your leg. Master Michelangelo carried you home with his mystics."

"Oh."

"But you made yourself and Sensei matching limps. Sensei said that you took a lot of inspiration from Major Raphael."

"I'm glad that I could keep his memory alive."

"That's all you ever wanted. Keep your family's memory alive."

"Do people tell you stories about them?"

"Yeah! My favorite one is when you guys pranked Major Raphael with Mrs. Cuddles."

"Chuckle, I remember that. Of course, Raph teamed up with everyone else to torment me after he learned it was my suggestion."

"It was?"

"Twas. It was worth it to me."

"I bet."

Chapter Five

[doctor-gyro-gearloose]

When Your boyfriend looses an arm and your a mad scientist genius | @shyguyderp it’s your long awaited request! So sorry it took so long , life got in the way of a lot of things I hope you enjoy anyway! :)

After a freak accident while in the Gizmoduck suit; Fenton Crackshell-Cabrera was hospital bound, Gyro had found out almost right away, his heart sank right out of his chest. This is my fault, if I had not let Fenton become the gizmoduck this wouldn’t have happened. He would be safe; he wouldn’t be in the hospital! He wouldn’t be potentially dying! The man starts crying uncontrollably while slamming his fist down on his desk in front of him, he had been miserable, it’s only been a few hours but those few hours have felt like hell to Gyro, he felt uneasy, sick to his stomach bearing the idea of Fenton being hurt. “His mom is going to kill me, what have I done? I'm a terrible person.” Gyro sobs, his anxiety growing by every second. His phone rings, it’s Mrs. Cabrera; gyro gulps while answering the phone, he begins biting his nails out of pure nervousness.

“Is my polito ok? What have you done to him?” She asked him.

Gyro tried to answer her, but as he opened his mouth all he could do was cry, the pain was too much for him to bear; just the sheer thought of anything being wrong with his beloved Fenton.

“I apologize Mr. Gearloose, I want to know he’s ok as much as you do” Miss Cabera says.

Gyro sniffles; still barely able to speak. “He’ll be ok…I know Fenton…”

“He will, please I am asking you to take care of him ok?” Miss Cabera says.

“I will…” Gyro slowly says while he hangs up the phone, collapsing once again to sob, “what will I do!”

Another call rings in, it’s the hospital now.

“Hello, you are Gearloose, yes?” The doctor asks.

“Yes.” Gyro answered.

“Good, it seems Fenton will need his arm amputated, I am sorry about this, but the injury is too bad, it has to be done before it gets infected.” The doctor explained.

Gyro freezes, he drops his cell phone, effectively breaking it, he starts crying uncontrollably again.

Fenton is losing an arm because of my carelessness! I’m foolish! I’m an imbecile! I’m the one that got him hurt. I shouldn't have let him become gizmoduck it should have been me getting hurt! I’m disposable, he is not! This is all my fault , I have to fix it, I have to do something. Determined now; the man sits at his desk, planning to figure out how to make Fenton a functional arm so he can still do everything he is supposed to. He starts by rough sketching some arms out on paper, he bites his pencil while he thinks about it, it was hard not to think about Fenton while he worked, he took a lot of crying breaks just to sob into Fentons jacket he had left behind, it smelt like him, gyro missed him, he missed the sound of his cheery voice, the compliments. “Fenton, I promise I won’t let anything happen to you again.” Gyro whispers to himself while he chooses a sketch to finalize into his next big project. “This will work, I just know it…” a part of gyro felt guilty , he wanted to be in that hospital room with Fenton, holding his ok hand, telling him he was going to be ok, it was all alright, he was doing to fix him. But he wasn’t there, he was hiding in his lab, helplessly crying, trying to figure out the perfect invention that would help him the most, he knew he had to do it for him, after all this was his fault. If he had not been so careless about Fentons actions, none of this would have happened to begin with.

The man started working vigorously; he stopped sleeping , eating proper meals, he even compromised himself with a contraption so he wouldn't have to get up to use the restroom Every so often the man chugged coffee straight out of his coffee pot or shoved some licorice in his mouth as needed to keep himself awake and passing out from low blood sugar. The man worked tirelessly to get the project done not without bursting into crying fits, he was not well but he was obligated to whatever he could to help Fenton even if that meant he had to hurt himself. He finished the project in the matter of one all nighter, Gyro felt worse than he had before but anything for Fenton right. “I have to get to that hospital.” he says, he felt sick that he hadn't been for the whole day, he needed to be there for Fenton. Picking up the mechanical arm, he puts it in Fentons old Gizmo suit bag. “That was a mistake..” Gyro mumbled while slinging the bag on his shoulder. “Let's go Lil Bulb..” Gyro picks up his little helper who planted himself on Gyros shoulder while he had made his way out of the lab, the man hadn't even bothered to look presentable for the hospital, he wasn't showred, he hadn't washed his clothes in weeks, but he didn't care about that. He cared about Fenton and only him. He gets into his piece of shit car, and fumbles to start it, muttering a slew of curse words at it until it finally sputters into a start. “For fucks sake..” Gyro mutters taking off in a hurry, hitting the gas pedal so hard the tires screeched as he left the lot of his lab he sped his way to the hospital as he wanted to get there as quickly as he could.

“Slut!” The man screamed upon passing a slow driver. “I’ve got places to be!” He growls while rolling his eyes impatiently as he drives. He comes upon the hospital, slamming the brake of his car coming to a screeching halt; he parked it very poorly. He gets out of the car, gathers his bag and walks through the main entrance, “Hello can I help you?” The person at the front desk asks Gyro kindly.

“Yeah I'm here to see Fenton Crackshell Cabrera.” Gyro says.

“Oh perfect are you related to him, you see only family members are allowed to-” They were cut off by Gyro who was impatient. “Yeah, yeah I'm his husband, can I please just see him now?”

“Carry on then Mr.Cabrera.” The person says while informing the nurse of Fenton that his husband was coming to see him.

Gyro takes his leave walking down the hall to Fentons room, he is greeted by the nurse that lets him in.

His eyes already started to swell up when he saw Fenton.

“Gyro?” Fenton asked weakly looking at him.

“Yeah In-Fenton..It's me..are you..you know...going to be ok?” Gyro struggled trying to convey his feelings as he spoke he never cared so much about one person before.

“I'm going to be fine Gyro.” Fenton smiles. “I am glad you..made it here.”

“I'm sorry I allowed this to happen.” Gyro says.

“Gyro don’t be ridiculous, this isn’t your fault at all, accidents tend to happen...I promise I’m going to be fine.” Fenton assures him.

“Well..the reason I wasn't here sooner is...because I made you something, Fenton..I felt so guilty about letting you go through all of this, I spent all day and night in the lab creating a mechanical arm for you..” Gyro said while he carefully placed his bag in the nearby chair. He took the prop out of it.

“Gyro...You didn't have to do anything for me.” Fenton says while he tears up.

“Fenton I had too..I owe you after that accident, your life won't ever be the same..please accept it.” Gyro says, placing it next to Fenton.

Fenton picks the arm up, nearly beginning to cry. “Gyro...I..I love..you.”

Gyro presses himself against Fenton, hugging him. “I love you too..hachimitsu..” he spoke barely above a whisper but Fenton heard the man. “Mi amor..” He says softly.

[is-it-madness]

Metal Fingers

A/N 1: This fic is for my lovely beta/bestie @wowjeena Heyyo, would you be up to writing a soulmate au with Bucky? You can choose which type of soulmate au but can you make the reader a normal person (so not an Avenger or anything related)?? Thanks girl and if you don’t wanna that’s chill 👉🏼👉🏼 So... it’s not exactly a soulmate au, but I hope this is okay instead ☺️💜💜 I’m also so sorry it took so long. I hope you like it, my dear.

A/N 2: The Bucky Barnes Exhibit states he was born in 1916, but at the bottom where it gives his life span, it says he was born in 1917. I googled it to find the correct year, and it said 1917… I don’t know what to do with that information, other than to tell you guys there’s a mistake in the movie. 

A/N 3: I apparently couldn’t make this a one shot, so it’ll be a multi part story. I’m aiming between 3-5 parts

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x single mom!reader

Warnings: None

Word Count: 1.5k+

~~~

Part 1

A Fallen Comrade.

James Buchanan ‘Bucky’ Barnes

Born in 1916, Barnes grew up the oldest child of four. An excellent athlete who also excelled in the classroom. Barnes enlisted in the Army shortly after the attack on Pearl Harbor. After winter training at Camp McCoy, Wisconsin, Barnes and the rest of the 107th shipped out to the Italian front. Captured by Hydra troops later that fall, Barnes endured long periods of isolation, deprivation and torture. But his will was strong. In an ironic twist of fate, his prison camp was liberated by none other than his childhood friend, Steve Rogers, now Captain America.

Reunited, Barnes and Rogers led Captain America’s newly formed unit, The Howling Commandos. Barnes’ marksmanship was invaluable as Rogers and his team destroyed Hydra bases and disrupted Nazi troop movements throughout the European Theater.

He knew these words. He read and reread them dozens— if not hundreds— of times. He wrote them down in every one of his notebooks as he was scrapping, searching for his memories that were just out of his reach. He could nearly taste them. They fluttered teasingly in front of him: close, but not close enough for him to snatch out of the air of uncertainty. 

He pulled a fresh notebook from his bag and a pencil, worried away from teeth and words. 

Start with what you know…

My name is James Buchanan Barnes. I was taken captive by Hydra and was used by them. I know a man named Steve. He was my friend.  

He trailed off. This is where he always was left floating in a sea of not knowing. He was left grasping for more. He was a starved man, empty without his memories. The few he managed to uncover did little to tide him over from insanity. He bit at that familiar indentation on his pencil, trying to think of something, anything at this point that was more than those four simple sentences he’s written everyday for the past several weeks. Sighing and pulling his baseball cap lower in frustration, Bucky returned his supplies to his bag, stood, and swung it over his right shoulder. Eyes low, and clutching his bag, Bucky made his way towards the exit of the crowded museum. Ever since the Potomac, this section of the Smithsonian was more packed than usual.

Nearly there. Nearly there. 

It was an understatement to say that Bucky Barnes didn’t like crowded areas. Too many bodies, pressing, and pushing against each other, loud noises, pointless conversations discussing mundane things. 

Nearly there. Nearly ther—

“Oof!”

He wouldn’t have noticed the boy that ran into him if his bag hadn’t slipped from his hand, spilling out the contents onto the floor. Bucky hurriedly crouched to retrieve his precious memories. He barely registers the boy picking up the items that had strayed a bit further. 

“Here you go Mister! I’m sorry for bumping into you like that.”

Bucky silently takes his belongings back from the little boy standing in front of him. 

Bucky unintentionally begins to analyze him.

Probably seven or eight. Bright eyes. Tousled hair. Skinny. Doesn’t clear 100 pounds soaking.

He shakes his head. Stop. No more. 

“Whoa, cool! Metal fingers!!”

Bucky quickly retracts his fingerless-gloved hand.

The boy pulls his hand from his sweatshirt pocket. “Yours are cooler, but I have metal fingers too! Well, actually it’s a metal arm because the doctors had to get rid of my real one because I got hurt super bad, but I think it’s really cool.”

The boy said this all extremely fast, Bucky had to blink a few times to register what he had said. A compliment? For his hand? A hand that’s maimed, killed, and caused so many people to suffer?

“Uh… I… I have a metal arm too.”

The little boy’s eyes widened even more. He wasn’t sure what made him do it, but Bucky took off his glove and showed it to the boy.

He took Bucky’s hand in his and stared at it, looking back and forth at Bucky’s hand and his. Bucky stood there stiffly, unsure how to respond. The boy looked up at Bucky solemnly.

“Do you have super powers?” he whispered. 

Bucky couldn’t help but crack a smile at his seriousness, but before he could answer, a woman came running through the crowd.

“Noah!”

The boy turned to give her a lopsided grin. “Hi Mom!”

“How many times have I told you to stay by my side, young man?”

The boy, Noah, dropped Bucky’s hand and took a step closer to the woman. “Sorry. But Mom!”

A raised brow silenced Noah. The woman looked up at Bucky.

“I’m so sorry if he was bothering you. He’s very social.”

Bucky forgot how to speak for a minute. The woman standing in front of him was… well, he’d never seen anyone as beautiful as her. Bright, sparkling eyes confirming where Noah got his from, a soft voice, and a sweet smile.

“Oh, uh, no. I mean, he is. I mean‒” When was the last time he had gotten tongue-tied?

Bucky cleared his throat, forced himself to try to ignore the sweet smile that was widening, and tried again. “He wasn’t bothering me. We were just talking about‒”

“His metal arm! Look at it, Mom!” Noah hurries back to Bucky’s side and holds his mechanical hand. “Look how awesome it is! And it’s huge!” He started poking Bucky’s upper arm and gasps. “And so are his muscles!! I bet he could crush anything!”

Noah began miming picking up heavy objects or crushing imaginary things, complete with sound effects. Bucky doesn’t miss Noah’s mother’s eyes widen slightly when Noah pointed out how massive his biceps are.

“Noah, honey, why don’t we go check out the exhibit?”

“Oh yeah! Let’s go, Mom!” He nearly takes off again before giving his mother a sheepish smile.

“What did you do?”

“I… I turned our map into a paper airplane.”

“And?”

“And... it… flew out of my hands?”

“Mm hmm. I see. Well, I guess we’ll just have to come back another time.”

Noah gasps and clutches his mom’s hand. “No! Please Mom! Don’t do this to me!!”

Her laugh causes Bucky’s heart to skip a few beats, and it frustrates him that he doesn’t know why.

“Which exhibit are you looking for?”

Noah looks at Bucky and salutes. “We’re here to see the Mister Captain America exhibit.”

“I could take you guys there.”

What. On earth. Gave him that idea?!

“Woo! Let’s‒”

Noah’s cheer was cut off by his mother. “Oh, no that’s okay. I’m sure you’re busy and you probably have something to get to you.”

She’s right… Why did I even offer in the first place? I can’t‒

“It’s not a problem. I was heading over there right now actually.” 

Jesus! What’s wrong with me?

Noah grabbed his mother’s hand and followed Bucky to the famed exhibit.

~~~

“So, I take it Noah’s a fan of the Captain?”

The beautiful lady standing next to him nodded. “Yeah, Noah loves him; really looks up to him.”

“Makes sense, he’s a good guy.”

“Sounds like you’ve met him before.”

“You could say that.”

They were pulled away from their conversation when Noah ran up to them, grinning.

“Mom! Look how skinny Steve was! And, and his friend? Um… Bucky? Yeah! Bucky! He would always help Steve out because Steve would always get in fights! So Bucky would come and have to save him!” 

Noah then proceeded to animatedly tell his audience how Steve became the Captain and fought in the War. When he went to go read the display in front of Steve’s motorcycle, Bucky turned back to the woman.

“Is this his first time here?”

She nodded and smiled. “I promised I would take him when I had a day off. He’s been waiting for weeks.”

A pause.

“How ‘bout you?”

“What?” Damn that smile! He got distracted.

“I take it this isn’t your first time here?”

“No, ma’am.”

Her giggle caused his firm expression to slip into a small smile.

Bucky spent the rest of the afternoon showing Noah around. He learned that Noah and his mother had been in a terrible car accident two years before. The injuries Noah sustained to his right arm were irreversible, thus leading to an amputation, a prosthetic arm, and even though she didn’t say, expensive medical bills burdened on his mother.

When the museum closed, Noah was asking his mother when they’d be able to return.

“I’m not sure baby. How about next weekend?”

Noah did a little dance showing his affirmation. Then he looked at Bucky.

“Will you be here too, Mr. James?”

“Uh, yeah sure kid. I’ll be here.”

Noah fist pumped as his mother said goodbye to Bucky.

~~~

Holy shit. Holy shit! 

You had been trying to keep your cool ever since you found Noah with James. You were eating dinner and you still hadn’t gotten over him. That man was fucking stunning. Blue, blue eyes that were filled with such sorrow, a smile that made your insides flutter, and a deep voice you were willing to listen to for hours on end. Soft and sonorous. And he was so sweet and kind with Noah. That alone had you taking a liking to him.

“Mom?! Mom!”

“Oh— sorry, baby. What’s wrong?”

“Thanks for taking me to the museum.”

You ruffle his hair. “Thanks for being so patient for me.”

He smiles as he shovels pasta into his mouth. 

~~~

My Ride or Die:

@lehuka123 @thejournalman @myraiswack @loki-yoursaviourishere @rebloggingeverything @just-the-hiddles @confetti-its-an-imagine-blog @thehumanistsdiary @fanfictionaries @astheworlddturns @bbarnestan @buckyfan12

[incoherentbabblings]

2 and 100 🥺 either both together or separated 💘 whatever you feel like and ty already !!

A) I'm sorry this took so long! The remaining asks will be done later in the week. B) I am, however, not sorry for this fic. But it is under a read more for a reason.

Birthday Ask Game!

2. “Stay here tonight.” + 100. “You’re the only one I wanna wake up next to.”

“Don’t look at me like that.”

Tim blinked. “Like what?”

“Like I’m… I’m dying.”

A pause, unsure and stuttering, then, “…But”—

“I am aware Tim,” she snapped, “that I am. But don’t look at me like that. Bad enough knowing that I don’t know what my bladder has done the past twelve hours.”

She was pinned in rubble. Legs crushed, spine cracked. She was hungry, thirsty, and worse, there was a stickiness below her waist that she could no longer feel.

Tim was next to her. Above her. Just out of reach to wrap his arms around her torso and pull (not that it would have done anything to free her). His head had been bleeding, but it had long stopped on its own. A scraped arm, a bruised leg, but he would be fine. He was neither trapped nor in danger of it.

News of the buildings collapse was not public knowledge. No-one was supposed to be there. It was abandoned; an abandoned housing complex in an abandoned town. No-one had been there by choice, save Tim and Stephanie.

No help was coming, and Tim was not strong enough to lift steel and concrete.

Stephanie was dying. Slowly. Numbly. And all Tim could do was sit with her. Her torso was free, as were her arms and head. There had been others in the rubble, moaning and crying out. The noise had quietened as the hours had passed. How many were still breathing, barely holding on, Tim did not know. He couldn’t see any.

“You know what sucks? Even if help did come, I’d probably croak from crush syndrome. Poisoned blood, which is… fucking... typical. Wish they’d find us. Just amputate my legs or something.”

“Please don’t.”

His voice was weak, and Stephanie sighed, head thunking against the concrete. She stared at the sky.

“It’s been over a day,” she whispered, as if there were anyone around to listen in, save Tim above her.

“Yes.”

“They don’t know we’re missing.”

“They would have found us, if they knew, by now.”

Stephanie got the distinct impression that Tim was closer to losing it than she ever would be. His voice was trembling, so tight and controlled it frightened her more than distraught wailing ever could. Stephanie huffed to herself, unimpressed.

“Whose idea was it again? To not bring our kit with us?”

Tim answered her rhetorical question, shaking his head like a toddler, reluctant to admit anything. “Yours.”

She nodded firmly. “Remember that. Okay? Not your fault. None of it. I insisted on going in without the proper gear thinking we needed infiltration. Bad guys blew up all the hostages when we ruined their experiments. I’m… sad… that we couldn’t save everyone. But, no-one else will go through this again.”

“You seriously think that’ll stop me from the guilt?”

“Hush hush. You can feel responsible in your own time for my choices,” she teased. Her eyes searched for his in the setting sun. “You can leave. I’m beyond help, you’re not.”

“I don’t want to leave you alone.”

She nodded, bravado slipping with her wet eyes. “...Me either.”

“Then I won’t.”

Her voice broke. “Stay here tonight. Please.”

“Promise,” he said easily. Carefully, oh so carefully, he shifted, trying to get closer to her. He managed to do so without disturbing the beams that had pierced her through, resting his head near her, and using his arms as a pillow to prop her head up.

“...Thank you.” She spoke for both the oath and his warm and gentle hold.

He glared at his feet, stubborn and upset. “You’ll wake up. In the morning.”

She smiled, breathing a weak laugh at how much he reminded her of a pouting child, despite the circumstances.

“You think?”

“I hope.” He tried to smile back, but it was weak and watery.

He could no longer meet her eye, but his hand still cradled her head, supporting her weight now that her spine was unable to. Stephanie kissed the hand that was supporting her neck, twisting to catch his wrist with her cold lips. The sunlight was nearly gone. The night would be cold again.

“You’re the only one, anyway, that I wanna wake up next to.” She inhaled, then trying to be pragmatic. “You’re four days walking from the next town. When I die”—

“You…”

“When I die,” she stressed, “go and get help. You can do it. I want my mom to be able to say goodbye to me. And no funny business with resurrection juice or whatever. Just… get me out of here so I can rest properly.”

“Steph.”

“I’m trying to keep a level head. That’s all. You have to live. You have to.”

Tim stretched, hand reassuringly running over her head “Promise you’ll wait?”

“Wait?”

“Wherever you go, come the morning. Don’t go all the way until I’m there with you.”

She slowly blinked. “You’re not going to join me for a very long time Tim Drake. I forbid it.”

He said nothing to that, only repeated, “Promise?”

Tim’s fingers were shaking, causing his grip on Stephanie’s neck to falter. She grunted, weakness overcoming her for a moment, but she managed to nod. “Swear. If you promise that it won’t be for a long time.”

“…Promise.”

She could tell it was not sincere, but she did not have the energy to fight him on it. Instead, she hammered the nail in deeper. “I’ll be really upset you with Tim, if I see you sooner than you being eighty plus.”

His guilt in being forced to live had to be stronger than his guilt wanting to be dead with her. It was dirty, but Stephanie didn’t particularly care. He had a bright future to live. Now without her. It broke her heart, more painfully than her shattered pelvis. She couldn’t find it in herself to be angry, or resentful, at her situation. Just sad. Resigned. She’d tried. It wasn’t enough. Never could be.

But at least Tim had sworn to stay. It would hurt him, being with her when her heart stopped, but then there was a chance for closure. Something they hadn’t gotten the first time. Time heals all wounds – liar, liar, pants on fire – so Tim would keep going.

“Oh.” He had the nerve to chuckle. “That’s a long time.”

“Mmhmm. Let’s start with tonight. Just get through tonight. One night after the other.”

He sighed, humouring her, and repeated, “One night after another.”

She went to close her eyes, but Tim shook and pressed a hand to her cheek. More offended than hurt, she gasped and glared.

He was crying – finally – and her glare melted as soon as it had frozen her features. His thumb ran anxiously back and forth across her bruised cheek.

“No. Stephanie. Please. Don’t look away. Keep looking at me.”

She gave one last nod, and then the sun slipped below the horizon.

[joat-jackofalltrades]

Batfam OC Headcanons

These headcanons are all about my superfamily, who I've dubbed the Shadefam. I have post dedicated to their basic info, here. I'm posting this for fun and to invite others to make their own super family or OC family with far too many headcanon and random chapters for a book that'll never be written.

BTW when I say S1, S2, or S3 I'm referring to the certain seasons in Young Justice

Buck- trans ftm taken in by Faith at age 12 because his father isn’t able to properly take care of him. (His dad loves and accepts him, but is very broke and wants what’s best for his son)

Hope is taken in by her sister at age 8 in 2013 when their mother died

Buck dates Bart for a period of time before they mutually agree to break up, both lowkey being attached to other teammates at the time (Jaime and Tim)

Faith is bi and doing fine

Grace is lesbian and freaking disaster

Hope is ace and valid

Buck is trans/gay and perfect

Cody is ace/aro and chillin with his homies

Faith and Grace had a fling for a few months but broke up mutually

Grace has a butch lesbian girlfriend named Joana

They always go to pride and their hero atls hang different pride flags the night before July 1st around the city

Hope lowkey grew up without really registering gender and doesn’t say hello to new people, but asks for their preferred pronouns

Bart’s the closest person to Buck in the Outsiders, being the only person that knows about his true powers as well as the few that knows his birth name

Goes to Bart or Garfield when he has a nightmare at the headquarters

Bruce payed for Buck’s top surgery after S2

Keith is the only straight person in the Shadows

Lily is pan and loves her frogs

Lily really likes frogs and has a small tank for them in her apartment

Hope has one frog gifted to her from her favorite aunt

Cody is the only person allowed to cook in the Manor

Cuddle piles when the enter family is together at their secret hideout

Cody is the only one that owns an actual house and they use the basement as their “hideout”

Lots of “Are the Straights Okay?” moments when the group is people watching during stakeouts

Grace being a flirt to everyone

Hope knowing every curse word at age 9 because her sister can’t shut up

Lots of scolding because of profanity

Faith smacking people upside the head

Cody is Buck’s go to when he’s feeling dysphoria when he’s with the fam

Family nights every friday cause none of them got the most normal lives (Faith lost her parents young as did Cody, Grace wasn’t accepted by her family and lost her parents before even turning 20, Hope only had her parents for 8 years, Lily never had a father and her mother is a thief, Buck lost his mother young and left his father before age 13, and Keith lived mostly alone with a constantly working father. Plus they’re all heroes so I mean none of them are remotely normal)

Cody entered the Shadefam after S3 and doesn’t know that he was previously working with Jason for a period of time

Very confused brother reunion when Cody and Jason meet again

The pair of them both worked for Ra’s a Ghul at the same time in the S3

Lily gives Buck a frog plush that he holds after nightmares at the headquarters

Faith does daily calls to her children

Faith was raised by Bruce, how could she not take in a small child that looks like a mini her

Faith being a mom to everyone, even her brother at times

Faith: “Cody… why are you not wearing any socks?”

Cody: “Why would I be wearing socks?”

Faith: “Because the floor is freezing! Now go put on some damn socks so you don’t get a cold!”

Cody: “But-”

Faith: “Do not try me Cody North Miers.”

Cody: “Damn… the middle name.”

Cody trying to keep Lily and Grace from getting killed on the field

Faith trying to keep Lily and Grace from getting killed off the field

Faith moves in with Keith after her amputation because he has a first floor apartment and she can’t do stairs yet

Keith finds out about MJ and Faith finds out about Hunter after he sneaks back in from a patrol before the accident

Grace and Lily are chaotic a hell, pushing themselves as far as they can during training and mission

They are the two that get hurt the most often

Though Faith always has the worst injuries cause she’s a mama bear that will leap in front of her children

Cody will get pretty severe ones as well when he jumps in front of Faith

Cody: “Why the fuck do you keep jumping in front of them?!”

Faith: “I am mama bear bitch!”

Cody: “Well stop being mama bear cause you’re going to get yourself killed one day.”

Faith: “I can’t die bitch!”

Cody and Faith being responsible adults and the most mature of the group, to being bickering siblings at each other's throats

It always ends up shocking the rest of the fam as well as the Team and the Batfam

Cody: “Can you grab me a pop?”

Faith: “The hell is a pop?”

Cody: “You know a Coke or Sprite.”

Faith: “You mean a soda?”

Cody: “Yeah a pop.”

Faith: “It’s soda!”

Cody: “Pop!”

Faith: “SODA!”

Cody: “POP!”

Halo: “Are they fighting over what to call a drink?”

Buck: “Yeah…”

The Shadefam is sort of a faction of the Batfam

Buck ships Bartuardo and got Hope to agree with him after she jumped ship from Bluepulse

Bruce is lowkey protective of Buck (he loves his grandson)

Buck is Alfred’s favorite of the Shadefam children

Cody and Faith are his favorites of the adults

Faith insists they eat dinner at the table together before leaving early to go invent

Grace and Faith have coffee addictions

Hope is not allowed near caffeine, neither is Buck

Lily shows up at Grace’s and Faith’s separate apartments randomly

Faith was the shoulder Lily cried in after Jason death

Bruce accidentally introduced Buck as his grandson to a board of people when he stopped by Wayne Enterprise

Bruce: “This is Buck, my grandson. He’ll be sitting in today because his mother is busy.”

The news outlets had a field day trying to figure out which Wayne kid was his parents and the person that they knocked up or got knocked up by. Many settled on Faith getting knocked up by some random guy before realizing the math didn’t work.

One outlet found out that Buck was born female and called him a “she” in their coverage of it.

Bruce lost it.

Bruce: “I read your coverage of my grandson. I would like to kindly ask you to pull that story.”

Reporter: “But Wayne sir.”

Bruce: “You misgendered my grandson. So either print an apology or I will be suing.”

Bruce does not stand for misgendering

Keith and Faith child’s godmothers are Grace and Joana

Hope and Buck are practically their child’s older siblings

Lily is the child’s favorite auntie

Keith leaves after their child’s birth

Keith: “Someone needs to be here in case something happens to you.”

Faith: “Nothing’s going to happen to me, Love.”

Keith: “Can you guarantee that?”

Faith: “...”

Keith: “That’s what I thought.”

Faith: “I’m not leaving.”

Keith: “I know. And I don’t blame you. You were built for the hero’s life. I wasn’t.”

Faith: “I swear I’ll be careful. For you and for them.”

Both Hope and Buck move to the Outsiders and later Buck leads the Team, leaving the Shadows.

Faith: “The Team? Buck that’s great!”

Buck: “I thought you’d be a bit more… I don’t know feeling the mode about this.”

Faith: “Why? Cause my little hodgepodge of a team is losing a member?”

Buck: “Well yeah.”

Faith: “Buck. The Shadows were just a covert team for the East. Plus it’s not like I’m really losing you. You are my son after all.”

Buck: “I know. And I’ll never forget that… Mom.”

Lily moved in with Jason and the two of them focused more on Gotham, Lily becoming a true Bat.

Lily: “So I guess I’m a Bat now.”

Faith: “Yup.”

Lily: “No longer a Shade.”

Faith: “The Shades were created by a Bat and consisted of like four current Bat members. The Shades are like a stepping stone.”

Lily: “I guess. I’m still gonna miss family nights.”

Faith: “The Shadows might be decreasing in numbers, but that doesn’t mean we’re ending Shade family nights. Bring along Jason, I’m sure he’ll have a ton of fun.”

Lily: “Yeah surrounded by youngins! He’ll be ecstatic!”

Faith: “Well he does need to prepare.”

Lily: “How the fuck did you know!”

Faith: “Wait, what!”

And that’s how Faith learned Lily was pregnant

Grace leaves the hero world once she and Joana get married and she becomes a criminal prosecutor, sealing the fate of the Shadows

Faith: “So you’re giving it up then?”

Grace: “The hero's life is great and every Faith, but.”

Faith: “I know. It’s a lot.”

Grace: “I mean I never wanted to be a hero, I just wanted to put the bad guys away. That’s what I’m doing now. Plus Joana always frets over me after a mission, even if nothing bad happened.”

Faith: “That’s pretty reasonable. Keith tends to exaggerate the smallest cuts.”

Grace: “So you’re not upset that you’re losing another member?”

Faith: “The Shadows were just a covert team for smaller crimes. I always have my back up with the League.”

Grace: “So the Shadows are done now?”

Faith: “For the time being.”

Cody never left the team, but with only two members it became more of a partnership. They continued to work together, with them assisting the League, Team, and Bats whenever they were needed

Even after the team breaks up, they all gather up once a month and hang out for board games, movies, or a patrol around the city for old times sake.

The older members (Faith, Grace, and Keith) do a lot of reminiscing while the “kids” (Buck, Lily, and Hope) just goan and roll their eyes as Cody listens to the tales of his sister and her friends

Lily and Jason never planned on having any biological children, but they did plan on taking in a street kid. They ended up with one biological child and one street kid

Cody becomes the next Bruce Wayne, training and taking in kids that need a good home

Grace and Joana have three kids, two of which have Grace’s abilities

The entire Shade family is always invited to Bat family reunions. Damian was very confused by the massive amount of people that showed up after Bruce told him he only had a “few” siblings.

Damian: “Eight is not a few Father.”

Bruce: “You have seven siblings Damian. Buck is your nephew.”

Damian: “He’s nearly 16 years older than me.”

Bruce: “Yes but he’s Faith’s son.”

Damian: “Reigns is only seven years younger than Miers.”

Bruce: “He still calls her mom correct?”

Damian: “Yes.”

Bruce: “And he calls me Grandpa?”

Damian: “Yes.”

Bruce: “Then he is your nephew.”

Damian: “But Kyle also calls her mom.”

Bruce: “Your sister does it as a joke to annoy your oldest sister.”

Damian: “Kyle is the only blood sibling I have here. Why must I consider the rest of these people siblings?”

Bruce: “Because they are.”

Damian: “Well… seven is still not a small amount of people.”

Bruce: “With the amount of people here, seven is a few.”

Cody is a light sleeper, waking at the slightest sounds

Grace sleeps like the dead, freezing water and banging pots are the only thing that wake her

Keith can sleep through stuff if he’s in a deep sleep, but also wakes to small shifts in the bed when Faith has a nightmare

Faith is another light sleeper, though not as light as her brother

Lily can and will sleep through anything that doesn’t sound threatening, aka wakes only to gunshots and the scrapping of a blade in its sheath

Buck is a deep sleeper, though often wakes to nightmares

Hope sleeps a lot like her sister, though she’s easier to wake up

When Cody wakes up, he’s up. If he’s woken up, a perimeter check is needed before he goes to sleep. If he wakes up on his own, he still does a perimeter check before going about his day

Grace doesn’t fully wake up until she’s had her eggs and instant caramel coffee

Keith rises with the sun full of energy after seeing Faith sleeping beside him

Faith wakes up tired and a little sluggish, needing black coffee to really wake up in the morning

Lily lives in a permanent state of sluggishness during daylight hours, she draws her power through the moon

Buck is always a bit tired, with usual bursts of random energy

Hope wakes with the sun cause she herself is a ray of sun

Faith & Keith child

Valarie (biological)

Cody’s children

Westly (adopted)

Conner (adopted)

Grace & Joana’ children

Derek (Grace’s biological)

Sophie (Grace’s biological)

Adrian (adopted)

Jason & Lily’s children

Charlie (street kid)

Jaden (biological)

Faith, Hope, and Grace are called the holy trinity as a joke

How Lily and Jason act

PDA constantly, it’s not huge things but it’s very clear that they are together

Nightmare comfort

Got together after Jason came back from the dead, working together as Red Hood and Scarlet Falcon

Were rivals of sorts before his death when Lily was still Misfortune. They fought a lot as Robin and Misfortune, though Faith refuses to let Jason take her in

Lily runs cold so she often wears Jason’s jacket

Faith gave both Lily and Jason the “if you hurt my sibling” lecture. Jason was terrified by it, while Lily shrugged it off

Faith: “You hurt my baby brother, I will hurt you tenfold. I will get a crowbar.”

Lily: “Reasonable.”

Faith: “If you hurt my baby sister, I will hurt you tenfold. I will get a crowbar.”

Jason: “Okay ma’am.”

Buck isn’t a meta but cursed

Hope gets killed in 2023 during the first mission that the team gets together after 2020

Shadefam split by 2020, with Keith, Hope, & Buck leaving in 2018, Grace leaving in 2019, and Lily leaving in 2020 with Faith moving from High Hills in 2019

Keith and Faith move after S3 in 2019 to Star City to man the Wayne Enterprise in the West and raise Valerie in a less crime-ridden area

Cody takes over protecting High Hills, taking on two wards

Grace and Joana move to a smaller town outside of New York so Grace couldn’t be dragged back into the Life

Lily lives with Jason in Gotham

Cody was almost taken by the Court of Owls to become a Talon (their mother’s death was a result of the Court) saved by the League of Shadows instead

Valerie

Metahuman with the True Sight ability

Born 2018

Year younger than Damian

Joins the Team as Seer

Connor

Eldest of the Shade children

Born 2014

Joins the family when he's seven

Loves musical theatre

Doesn’t do fieldwork and works as the man behind the screen for his brother and father

Westly

Second eldest of the Shade children

Born 2016

Joins the family when he's six

Works on the field with his father (Bullseye)

Mathlete

Derek & Sophie

Twins

Born 2019

Sophie is a shadow bender (Yin)

Derek is a light bender (Yang)

Both join the Life (much to Joana dismay)

Adrian

Same age as the “twins”

Born 2019

Doesn’t join the Life

Works with their mom (Joana) in the family jeweler shop

Charlie

Equal eldest Shade child (though entered the family far later than Conner)

Born 2014

Joins the family when he's nine

Doesn’t join the Life and studies pre-med to fix up his family

Jaden

(2020)

Joins the Life

When People Call Faith “Mom”

Cody, Grace, Dick, and Jason call her Mom as a joke or when she’s being to much of a mama bear

Grace: “Alright. Alright Mom. We’ll stop.”

Faith: “Don’t call me Mom Grace.”

Dick: “Alright… Mama Bear.”

Faith: “I will kill you Dick.”

Jason: “Oh don’t kill him Mum, he’s a good big brother.”

Faith: “-Jay.”

Cody: “Relax Mother. They’re just playing with you.”

Faith: “CODY!”

Lily does it as a joke most of the time, though often accidentally does it

Lily: “Jeez let up Faith I’m fine.”

Faith: “Fine? Lily, you nearly bled out an hour ago.”

Lily: “Yeah an hour a ago.”

Faith: “Sit the fuck back down you asshole.”

Lily: “Okay.”

Faith: “What were you thinking Lily? You could have been killed. You could have gotten Buck killed.”

Lily: “You quoting Lion King now?”

Faith: “Lily.”

Lily: “Sorry.”

Faith: “What were you planning, Lily? What if we couldn’t have gotten to you in time? What if Buck was in your place? What if we lost you?”

Lily: “I’m- I’m sorry Mom.”

Faith: “I know you- Did you just call me Mom?”

Lily: “Aaaa- no?”

Hope never means to call Faith Mom, but it does just kind of happen

Faith: “Time to get up, Hope. You got school in thirty minutes.”

Hope: “Mmmm.”

Faith: “Come on Hope.”

Hope: “I don’t wanna go Mom.”

Faith: “It’s only for seven hours, Hope.”

Hope: “Mmm. Fine.”

Faith: “Good. Be ready in ten please.”

Hope: “Alright M- Faith. I meant Faith… not Mom.”

Buck calls her Mom the most (besides her own daughter)

Faith: “Have fun sweety.”

Buck: “I will Mom.”

Faith: “You know I’m not old enough to be your mother.”

Buck: “I know Mom. And you know I don’t care.”

faith: “And neither do I in all honesty.”

Tim accidentally called her mom once, which her reflect response was “I’m too young to be your mother”

Faith: “Tim? What are you still doing up?”

Tim: “Working.”

Faith: “For how long?”

Tim: “... I’m on hour… 56?”

Faith: “Go to bed Tim.”

Tim: “But I just need 10 more hours to finish.”

Faith: “Nope. You’re going to bed.”

Tim: “Hey! Put me down!”

Faith: “No. Tim you are a growing boy who needs to sleep.”

Tim: “But I have to-”

Faith: “Sleep! You have to sleep.”

Tim: “Put me down Faith.”

Faith: “Alright.”

Tim: “No I’m not going to bed.”

Faith: “Yes. Yes, you are.”

Tim: “I don’t need you to tuck me in Faith. I’m a grown man.”

Faith: “You’re a seventeen-year-old boy, not a grown man. Now go to bed.”

Tim: “Mmm. Fine. Good night Mom.”

Faith: “I’m too young to be your mother.”

Tim: “...”

Faith: “Good night Timmy.”

Damian also did it by accident once (Jason never let him live it down)

Faith: “I’m fine guys. Just a bit banged up.”

Jason: “Just a bit?”

Dick: “Faith you were held captive for nearly three weeks.”

Tim: “We stayed up endless nights to get you back.”

Lily: “We got to you to find you with a punctured lung and a broken arm.”

Faith: “Yes. But I’m fine now.”

Bruce: “You’re off patrol for the next three weeks and I’ll make sure you get a week off from work.”

Faith: “I don’t need that Bruce. I’ll be fine going back to work and I doubt three weeks probation is needed.”

Damian: “You nearly died Mother!”

Everyone: “Mother?”

Faith: “...”

Tim: “Did you just call Faith Mother?”

Dick: “Well it certainly wasn’t a joke.”

Jason: “I think the demon needs a mommy figure.”

Damian: “Shut up Todd!”

Jason: “Demon misses his mommy!”

Damian: “I said SHUT UP!”

Faith: “Enough! Both of you! Damian get off your brother! Jason stop teasing your brother.”

Damian: “...”

Faith: “Thank you. Now. Damian I’m fine. I’ve been through far worse.”

Lily: “No you haven’t.”

Faith: “You do remember that I got into a car accident where I lost my leg, right?”

Lily: “... Right.”

Faith: “Now I’m going to go watch a movie cause I’ve been stuck in a wooden chair for a few weeks and I have a strange urge to watch Ratatouille.”

And that's it for now. I might make another post about these guys, maybe I won't, depends if people like this.

[aconstantstateofbladerunner]

Ok but jumping off in that person mentioning Izuku losing your arm, do you have any headcanons for amputee Izuku. Especially in relation to dad might and eraser head. With the assumption that it wasn’t izuku’s fault it happened. (An unavoidable accident as opposed to him being self destructive with his quirk.)

Okay I’ve been sitting on this one a while, largely because I have something planned for a fic and i wanted to come up with something different for this ask.  I think this works out.  That being said, I did fuck all to research how actual amputations work because there is enough medical-related trauma going on right now and I don’t wanna deal with that.

- So I see him fighting a villain with some sort of toxic quick, specifically a sting of some kind that causes rapid onset infection.  It doesn’t even hurt as bad as a bee sting, so Izuku doesn’t think much of it when he gets hit above his wrist.  There isn’t even a noticeable tear in his costume.  He beats the villain without much trouble.  His arm is a little sore during paperwork, but that’s close enough to normal.

- But the soreness persists through to the end of the day, gradually getting worse.  Izuku finally takes of his glove, and his whole arm is an angry red.  

- Let’s say Aizawa was in charge of whatever field thing he was doing, and they haven’t gone back to UA yet.  Izuku shows him his arm, and innocently asks if he think’s it’s worth going to Revovery Girl over.  He takes him straight to a hospital.

- The doctors confirm what Aizawa suspected: Izuku’s arm is in the early stages of infection.  They give him some antibiotics and wrap his arm with salve and bandages.  They also insist he stay overnight for observation since it seems to be over a large area.  But the general consensus is he should be fine since they caught it early.  Izuku is sad he can’t go back to the dorms and a bit embarrassed he got hurt again, but Aizawa chides that for once it isn’t his fault.

- It’s late so Izuku goes to sleep soon after.  Aizawa stays nearby.  He calls the school and All Might to explain the situation, the latter of which insists on heading down there himself.  In the meantime, Aizawa looks up the villain’s profile for details on his quirk.  There aren’t any really, but at least three murders are attributed to him.  The otherwise healthy victims when into sudden septic shock.  They all died less than 24 hours after encountering the villain.  Aizawa brings this info to the doctors immediately.

- All Might arrives just as they head back into izuku’s room to check on him.  He’s already worse.  He’s red and sweating from a fever, panting through a restless sleep.  A nurse cuts open his bandages to reveal massive festering green and grey spots of skin all up his arm.  The call is quick.  They have to amputate.  

- The doctors and surgeons take Izuku back.  Aizawa and All Might call Inko.  It’s almost three in the morning when she arrives, already crying.  They waited to give her the details in person.  For hours, all three look over pamphlets about the recovery process and resources on therapy and prosthetics.  Izuku would loose his dominant hand, which would most certainly set back his writing somewhat, there were more than enough examples of amputee heroes who continued their careers.  All Might tries to rationalize that Izuku has had a lot of practice writing with his other hand since he broke his arm so much.  No one finds comfort in that.

- Izuku wakes up late the next morning, delirious and numb.  He doesn’t quite remember what happened.  All Might is right there, and he gently puts his hand on his shoulders to keep him from sitting up, then caresses his cheek so he’s facing him.  It’s comforting.  He smiles, and turns over to hold his hand.  But his arm won’t move.  All Might stammers out a quick preamble, but nothing could have really prepared him to turn to a stub where his arm was just yesterday.

- “Just yesterday,” is the phrase he keeps repeating in his head.  Through all the doctors’ explanations and his mother’s tears, he thinks about just yesterday.  He had an arm yesterday, now he didn’t.  He went to sleep just a little sore, thinking a hospital stay was overblown when he felt fine, and woke up to one of his limbs gone.  He didn’t even have a chance to process it.  Processing is all he does the few more days they keep him in the hospital.  Everyone assures him that things can go back to normal eventually.  Dozens of heroes went on to have long, successful careers after limb amputations.  There’s even a program in place that provides heroes with high-quality, quirk-compliant prosthetics at a fraction of market price.  Everything will be okay.  Just yesterday, everything was.

- Izuku’s emotions take a break for those few days.  Like the space where his arm used to be, he feels numb.  Part of him can’t shake that it’s his fault.  He did something wrong in that fight and it cost him.  Everyone say’s he didn’t, that he did everything right and this whole thing was just an unfortunate accident.  He doesn’t cry at first.  His mom cries a lot.  All Might cries a little.  Even Aizawa gets a little choked up as he promises to help him through this.  But Izuku doesn’t cry.

- He doesn’t cry until it’s time to go home.  School gave him another few days off to recover at home with his mom.  Aizawa said his classmates know what happened and will want to check up on him if he’s up for it.  All Might says his mom agreed to help take care of him.  Then Izuku breaks down.  Suddenly, it’s all real.  His arm is gone forever and he has to deal with that for the rest of his life.  He’ll have to face his friends, and later the world, with a piece of himself literally missing.  He went to bed and woke up missing one of his arms.  It’s not fair.  Mom and All Might hug him, and Aizawa holds his remaining hand.  Rational thought and determination to overcome this new challenge return in due time, but they have to wait for the hurt and scared child to work out his delayed feelings first.

[thetriggeredhappy]

I love?? Sniper's mom?? Familial stuff just kills me in the best way. Could you do something with Spy and Scout from before Spy had left his family 👉👈 ?

im gonna just hope that you’re familiar enough with the Running Blind canon that you have any fuckin idea who the brothers are because they make a pretty steady amount of appearance in this. i call spy by my head canon for his first name (Marcel) since he wouldn’t be called spy until he joined the team, and uhhh one or two other details in this are slightly off-base for the RB canon but like don’t worry about it i don't think it’ll come up

(no warnings)

-

“Ma chou-fleur,” he greeted, sweeping her in with one arm and planting a kiss on her cheek.

“Marcel!” Ma chided, smacking him on the arm with a dish towel, practically jumping out of her skin. “You scared me! When did you get home?!”

“A few minutes ago,” he replied, smirking, sidestepping to give her access to the dishes she was cleaning off. “I see I missed breakfast.”

“Pot’s on the stove,” she said, ticking her head in the direction of said pot, which at a glance seemed to be full of oatmeal. “Oh, could you—?”

He was already on it, moving to lift the baby from the high chair to carry him against his hip. “Mon lapin, look at you, you’re old enough now that you don’t make such a mess,” he joked, picking up a napkin from the table and wiping off the corner of his mouth before moving to set him down by the couch where he had apparently been playing with blocks at some point. He immediately set to trying to climb the couch as best as his little legs could handle.

“Oh, did I tell you?” Ma asked over the sound of running water and an argument happening elsewhere in the apartment. “Jeremy’s walking now!”

“Already?” he asked, looking down at him with surprise. “He was trying last I saw, not making it very far.”

“Tony’s been helping him,” she laughed, washing off and setting aside the last dish and starting to work on the glasses.

“Ma, where’s my backpack?” called Jack, pulling on his jacket by the door and casting around.

“Ask your dad,” she called back, gesturing with her dish towel for emphasis.

“Not my dad,” Jack mumbled, brushing past him to kick around the couch.

“I know,” Marcel said, a little defensive. He glanced around. “Under the table.”

Jack didn’t say thanks, just picking up the backpack and moving out the door.

“Don’t forget your brother!” Ma called before he could shut it.

��Hurry up!” Jack called into the apartment, and Henry darted through the door after him a second later, one shoe only half-on, his hair a mess. Henry hardly had time to call a goodbye to them before the door shut heavily behind them.

Marcel sighed, and Ma gave him a sympathetic glance. The moment was cut short a little bit as another of the boys came into the living room and spotted him.

“Dad, when did you get home—?” Archie started asking, eyes lighting up.

“Je ne parles pas anglais,” Marcel said, raising an eyebrow at him.

Archie frowned, thought hard. “Uh. Quand... es, tu... rentré... à le mansion, papa?” he asked slowly.

“La maison,” he corrected lightly.

“La maison,” Archie repeated back.

“Bien!” he praised, smiling wide. “And only a few minutes ago.” He paused. “Are you going to come hug me or not? Make up your mind.”

Archie darted over to hug him tightly around the middle, and he returned it as best he could with the height difference.

“Why are you home early?” Ma asked, towelling off her hands, the last of the dishes rinsed.

“Business went very smoothly, I was able to book a flight for early this morning rather than late tonight,” he replied, and the glance between the two of them was enough to fill in the rest of the blanks. “The boys are all doing good?”

“Twins caught a cold,” Ma replied, wincing a little.

“Oh no!” he exclaimed, expression falling.

“Means I cancelled the babysitter and called for a day off,” she continued.

“Oh no?” he said next, raising an eyebrow at her and smiling a little.

“Don’t be gross,” Archie mumbled from his midsection.

“There is absolutely nothing gross about my being in love with my wife and enjoying spending time with her and my family,” Marcel said lightly, patting him on the head.

Archie grumbled about that, and he laughed. Ma shook her head and the both of them.

“Ah, but I nearly forgot!” Marcel said, and glanced off. “Collin!”

A pause. “What?” Collin called back hesitantly from the boys’ collective room.

“Get out here,” he called next, rolling his eyes a little.

A very considerable pause before Collin peeked out the door and looked at him. “Yeah?” he asked, expression already guilty. Archie pointedly went to go pay attention to the baby, helping him stack some blocks.

“Mon poulet, you would not happen to know what happened to my cufflinks, would you?” he asked, raising an eyebrow.

Collin didn’t maintain eye contact. “...No,” he tried.

“Oh. Well, perhaps you can go look for them wherever it was that you happened to “find” them last time they went missing,” he asked even more pointedly. “Maybe they ended up there again somehow.”

Collin nodded and disappeared again quickly.

“You know he keeps taking them because he misses you,” Ma said, voice hushed.

“Ma petite chou-chou, he keeps taking the one thing I only have one set of,” he replied. “If he stole ties like you do, it would be less of a problem.”

“I dunno what you’re talkin’ about,” she said flatly, and that got him to smile at least.

The sound of blocks falling. “Uh,” Archie said. “Oops.”

A pause of a second or two before Jeremy started crying.

Marcel was there in a moment, scooping him up to hold him. “Oh no!” he exclaimed, just as dramatic, tone full of just as much dismay as the crying baby, pressing comforting kisses to the side of his head. “Catastrophe! Calatime! Mon dieu, how could this happen?!”

Jeremy seemed distressed, holding his hand up close to his face protectively. There was a tiny knick where a block had fallen on the back of his tiny hand.

“Crushed by debris, horrible injury,” Marcel tutted, and pressed a few kisses to the injury in question. “Mon lapin, we have no choice but to amputate. Hopefully you will do well being left-handed.”

Jeremy seemed to be calming down quickly as he both realized that maybe he was actually okay and also that his dad agreed that the situation seemed kind of scary for a minute.

“Unless it seems alright? Perhaps you were really okay?” he asked pointedly, raising his eyebrows. “Maybe the world is not ending? The arm can be saved?”

Jeremy started to suck on his thumb, reached with his other hand to grab hold of his jacket.

“Ah, you’re just an actor,” Marcel teased, beeped his nose, shook his head when he giggled in response.

“Archie, sweetheart, could you help me out and dry the dishes while I check on your brothers?” Ma asked, two wet towels in hand as she moved towards the boys’ room.

“Okay,” Archie agreed, and Marcel continued to hold the baby for a few seconds before deciding to go say hello to the rest of the boys, putting him back down to play with his blocks.

The baby was not having any of it, making little noises of distress and not letting go of his jacket. “Mon lapin, yes, I love you too, but I do not want to take you in to see your brothers and get sick,” he chided. “You should stay out here.”

The baby made further distressed noises.

“How about I bring your brother to see you, he can teach you to walk some more, oui?” he tried. “Would you like to play with Tony?”

He seemed to be thinking very hard about that concept, but did not let go of his jacket.

“Okay,” he sighed, straightening up, still holding the baby. “Okay. We can both go. You’ve convinced me.”

“Losing an argument with a baby, I see,” Archie deadpanned from the sink.

“I want you to know that the amount of cheesy and romantic I can be with your mother is a sliding scale that only goes up,” Marcel drawled.

“Nevermind,” Archie said.

“That’s what I thought.”

[fortunamuta]

Pt.3 Devilman Crybaby Post (anime spoilers)

Alright so this is the last post and honestly i forgot to talk about the last episodes 7-10. Can u feel my depression while writing this, bro the sadness is never ending. I have become one with the mf void, and within it there is no self, no thoughts, no emotions just darkness.

Also TW alot of this stuff is extremely gory and dark (lots of horrible deaths that I may talk about, so tread lightly)

Lets just say things took a turn for the......first of all WTAF Homeskillet NOOOOOOOOOOO (if u haven’t read part 1 of this post homeskillet is Taro Makimura) HE ATE HIS FREAKING MOM, AND WHEN I TELL U I GAGGED AND FELT MY EYES TEARING UP. THAT WAS THE MOST TWISTED THING I EVER SAW AND THE DAD FOUND THEM. Basically the mom had taken Taro away from the family when she learned that he was a demon, also i thought he was a devilman but he didn’t win against the demon so he was taken over. But in the scene when he’s slowly eating his mother, and his dad is screaming why pointing a gun at his son, who he now realizes is his son. Taro’s demon begins to tear up making me believe that Taro was conscious but not in control of his actions. And thats when the tears begin to fall, and the dad was screaming and crying at how unfair the world was and how disgusting the sight in front of him was he couldn’t bring himself to shoot. So then the army guys who kill demons came and the dad begged them not to kill his son, but without hesitation they fired on dad and Taro, subsequently killing both. Akira tried to save them but was ultimately too late and ended up atleast grabbing the bodies and burying them.

The next scene in the episode shows Akira crying while on his knees infront of three graves (with crosses) on what looks like a hill. And I wondered if this was alluding to the three crosses who stood on Golgatha’s hill. This definetly marked a turning point for Akira and how he felt about Ryo. Anyway demons from everywhere popped up and tried to kill Akira at the instructions of Psycho Jenny, but then Miko saves him.

OH SCHNAPP I FORGOT TO TELL YALL Miko is a devilman and sis ate MY KING OF SPOKEN WORD and I think she ate her grandmother too. Anyway she really uses her new abilities to her advantage and wants to be better than Miki M. She later confesses that her jealousy and hate was just her inability to come to terms that she loved Miki and looked up to her, she didn’t like being outdone when she was used to being the best. Anyway she saves Akira from the demons trying to kill him. At this same moment Ryo is having a come to jesus moment (more like come to satan moment) he realizes that he is SATAN. I FUCKING KNEW IT. Anyway he goes on air, and stirs chaos by OUTING AKIRA. If i could throw hands and get my grandma to pray the mess outta that fool I would, damn he really didn’t have to do him like that so the whole worlds now knows that humans can become demons, so people begin to openly attack everybody. Anyway that public call out puts a target on Akira. 

Akira and Miki have a moment where shes like even as a devilman he’s still the crybaby she’s always known and love. oh btw Miki now knows her parents are dead and so is her little brother. Let me tell u her screams of anguish THAT SHIT HURTED. Anyway The Spoken Word Squad is now friends with Miki because the main dude gotta crush on her, and THEY ARE SO MF LOYAL THE REAL MVP’S of THE SHOW. (except shorty he really played us) Anyway Akira goes to get answers and confront Ryo and u can see the betrayal on his face he truly still believed Ryo was trying to make the world a better place. Anyway a mob descends on the Makimura household and the Spoken Word Squad says to leave it to them. At this point I am bawling my eyes out, and i’m slowly being pulled apart by the void. Miko takes Miki on her back to try and escape from the mob but those hoes mad angry and for what reason, anyway before this Miki made a twitter post talking about how much she loved Akira i think in the familial since tho, and how even though he is a devilman he is still who he used to be and that the humans are capable of loving them even though they are different. He’s not the enemy they should be focusing on. 

So as u may have guesses SPOKEN WORD SQUAD DIED, eversingle one of them, but not without being the baddest bitches every before going out. Seriously Homeslice with the dread had that crowbar and my boi was swinging and taking hoes out, but homie ended up getting over powered and visciously stabbed to death. The same happen to the dude who was crushing on Miki M basically there were just too many people(those people were the real monsters, giving into raw fear to tear into children like that) 

Anyway Miko and Miki are making there escape and they end up on their old running path, and its really sad. A jeep comes out of nowhere and everybody a motherfucking automated weapons. And they continue shooting at Miko and Miki until they bring them down, Miko urges Miki to run and continue running until she’s safe and to leave her behind. Miki runs and then the show the screen with them as kids running and passing the baton. Miko passes Miki the baton signaling her death, then Miki continues to run with the baton she’s trying to catch up to Akira who in front of her but she can’t seem to and then someone in real life shoots her in the legs, but she keeps moving and finally she’s able to pass the baton to Akira. At this moment (not me tearing up as I write this) she is tackled by some guy who stabs her and she screams out, calling out for Akira. But he never makes it.

Akira goes to this place where humans have crucified other humans and there are throwing stuff at them. Akira comes and shields them, and cries out that if they should kill someone kill him. In the midst of his crying, a voice over of miki’s letter is played. And like in the bible a little child shall lead them, which a little boy goes up to Akira to hug his leg and other kids follow the mob stops throwing stuff and now some adults are coming up to Akira to apologize hugging him and crying and they help the people they had crucified. In the midst of this the demons convince Track Homie to betray Akira even though Akira was helping him. So he impales Akira with his horn thing, in the process trampling many of the humans who had been standing near, causing a panic. Demons come out of nowhere and Akira gets away.

Now Akira has made it back to Miki’s house after a big fight with Ryo promising to defeat the other. He gets there to find the house up in flames and a mob surrounding it all whooping and cheering. He focuses on the mob and almost throws up finding that Miki, Miko and the Spoken Word Squad had all been decapitated and amputated and their limbs where pushed down on spikes which were being lifted and waved around for all to see by the mob. In a fit of rage and sadness at the fact that humans had done this he releases a fiery blaze crisping the humans in the mob. He swiftly leaves and the final strand attaching him to Ryo breaks. In Ryo’s tranformation to satan they now are naked, full breast and genetalia on display with big white wings. Ryo tells Akira that he doesn’t want to fight him, he did all of this so they could be together. But Akira said he has enough spite and anger for both of then and charges, they have a midair battle and the demons back up Ryo, in the end other Devilman come to help Akira lending him limbs so that he may continue fighting sacrificing themselves. 

The fight is long and sad, you can tell immediately that Akira is no match for Ryo. The scene changes to when they were younger as children, playing in the snow and going to hotsprings, exploring and just enjoying each others company. It shows just how pure and adorable Akira was and how Ryo always showed sign of not having any regards for life and believing that the weak deserved to die. Then it changes scenes to the baton passing scene showing the baton being passed from miko to miki then to akira and finally akira trying to pass the baton to Ryo but the baton keeps dropping between then, it happens several time until it drops one last time and the new scene is of the sky. Ryo’s voice is speaking to Akira as he stares at the sky, we see the side profile of Akira and his eyes are open but he’s not responding. 

Ryo continues to speak about them as children, then the screen pans to the sky showing broken planets and the earth around them is destroyed all that remains are broken pieces and the heel they are on. No other signs of life. Ryo asks Akira a question, and believes him to just still be mad at him but then he touches his face and says he’s been so quiet. Finally he cries and he exclaims how he doesn’t understand these feeling and asks Akira what these feelings are. 

Akira finally hands Ryo the baton.

The scene pans to show us Akira missing half of his body and dead. Ryo cries out to Akira pleading with him to say something, then he pleads that Akira not leave him alone. He continues to sob into Akira and plead to not be left alone as the screen moves further away from them, showing the actual destruction caused by their fight which basically destroyed the solar system. 

So yeah, i am one with the void, devoid of emotions, thoughts, and feelings. I belong to the darkness, how tf am i supposed to feel after that. I-i just wanted Akira to be happy, but apparently that was too much to ask. Goddamn THE WHOLE MF SOLAR SYSTEM. I cried so hard my brother was actually worried about me, I had puffy red eyes and couldn’t stop my mf hiccups. and warning i do no cute cry, that shit was really ugly. 

So yeah, I thought it was really good, definitely not for everybody though. Imma need to watch some Ouran Highschool Host Club. Also prayed with my grandma the other day for extra protection. But umm somebody please tell me what the relationship between Akira and Ryo because the end scene got me confused. I think it Ryo realizing his feeling for Akira because he didn’t want him to die and realized Akira had always been there for him. So this was def a wild ride, Miki was honeslty a pretty solid person except when she was modeling for that creepy dude. And then sis went to his house and asked for a shower, I was like sis are u DumbDDumbDDDDumb, luckily Akira was there because Ryo out here killing grandmas and was ready to kill Miki back then too. 

Also FLY HIGH SPOKEN WORD SQUAD and MY KING OF SPOKEN WORD.

and Taro really was bestboi led astray.

My pain level is astronomical might as well be numb. 10/10 probably won’t watch again unless I need a good cry and psychological trauma. But it was really good all in all.

[lennydaisy]

EPIPHANY SERIES // OUTER BANKS // CHAPTER THREE.

(n.) a moment when you suddenly feel that you understand. or suddenly become conscious of something that is very important to you.

              “Care to seize the day, my friend?”

Outer Banks                                                                                                                  Season 1-                                                                                                                      FEM OC! and ?

Here’s the link to Chapter Two in case you haven’t read it already <3 Check it out!!

Babysitting isn't for everybody. And at the beginning, I didn't think I was for me either. They say every child is different and this job has proved that couldn't be more true. Call it delusion, but I thought babysitting would be the easiest job on the planet.  Getting paid to look after someone's kid for a few hours whilst they run for the hills for a sliver of free time.  Sounds easy enough right?

Wrong!

You need to have thick skin when it comes to babysitting. No matter how much the parents reassure and praise their kid for being a literal angel on earth. That said angel will call you a do-do head at least once whilst simultaneously having a tantrum because you told them no, despite how much they promised that their parents allow them to climb onto of the refrigerator.

The first time I babysat it was actually a baby I was watching. The mom wanted to get out of the house and away from the responsibility of her 6-month-old. She had graciously written up any and every scenario that could play out in the few hours she was gone. And I was feeling confident. Until I wasn't.

They wouldn't stop crying. And their special lamb, that the board told me to give to the baby when they were upset, ran out of batteries, and I couldn't find new ones anywhere.

They refused to eat, just spitting the pureed food back in my face. They also wouldn't keep their socks on and that was the last straw for my sanity. I understood now why the mom had been quick to run out the door.

I ended up calling Kie, begging for her to come and help. I don't know how she understood a word I said, I was practically hyperventilating over the line, staring at the baby who was crawling around in a fit of rage.

Kie was truly a godsend. She somehow fed the baby and managed to get them to sleep before the mom came back. It did result in me splitting my first wage with Kie, but I wasn't complaining, I was just happy that I made it out of that house with just a headache and not an external crisis. Though that did come later.

I've babysat an 8-year-old boy, who ran away from me in the park. I did find him eventually. After giving myself a hairline fracture in my right wrist from climbing the tree he got stuck in.

I've babysat animals before. That wasn't part of my non-existing contract, but the way they spoke about their pets was very humanlike. It didn't end well for me, it never does. It resulted in me holding four leashes of four overly excited Komodo Dragons. Just kidding. The refused to move and lacked any type of emotion.

'I took you guys to the beach, be grateful.'

Now, I know what you're thinking, Komodo Dragons? Aren't those Illegal to have as pets? The answer to that question is yes! But I didn't know that. Just imagine Shoupe's face when he saw me practically dragging not one, but four, exotic animals across the boneyard. It looked suspicious is all I'm going to say.

Turns out the two guys who asked me to babysit their dragons for them we're smugglers who purchased and sold exotic animals. Not good. Apparently, they were already under the police departments radar and the pair planned on legging it to the in-country hoping to change and clear their names.

That worked out well for them, I think? Nothing else was really mentioned of it after my dad collected me from the police station. They're still on the radar, I hope. If not then there are two brawny men out there that could come and kill me in my sleep for ruining their very illegal business. Look, If you are up to some suspect things, my dumbass is the last person you'd want to be involved. I will unironically get you caught.

That's how Ward Cameron had heard about my very pristine babysitting service. Noticing the little bit of trouble that always seemed to shadow me, he offered to hire me permanently as his youngest daughter's babysitter.

That was three years ago, and here I am still babysitting Wheezie.

"This is stupid," Wheezie complains, trudging behind me, pushing forward the shopping cart filled with lost items that we found on the beach.

Since there is no internet in Kookland, in other words, Wheezie's heart line is currently in critical care. I decided to venture outdoors with her for a change. Instead of just sitting around her three-storey clubhouse or in her four-acre backyard, I thought it would be nice to comb the beach of any debris that the hurricane brought along.  

There was a lot of personal items that washed up on the beach too. Wallets, bags, photographs, books, clothes, wine bottles, footballs, toys, you get the gist. Most of them were ruined, either waterlogged or just completely useless. However, somethings just needed a good clean, and that's what we are going to spend our day doing. There is no way of telling what belongs to who, so we'll just turn them into the lost and found and hope they'll check there if it was important enough to them.

Our two trollies worth didn't even make a dent in the rubble that litters the beach, but it was a start. Say hello to a summer of hard labour.

"There was a hurricane Wheezie, have some sympathy" I roll my eyes at the girl who was less than thrilled about today's plans.

"I do have sympathy," she claims defensively, "It's just pointless.  No one's gonna come looking for this junk," eyes flickering through the findings in her trolley.

What we found isn't pointless. They belong to someone. I think about it the same way I did as a kid when I wanted every single teddy bear in my bed at night so none got left out, so I didn't hurt their feelings. A ragged old soccer ball might look worse for wear, but it has a home and I going to get it back there.

"It's not junk," I object, stopping momentarily, waiting for the stroppy pre-teen to catch up. "Say you lost your phone and someone found it, and returned it too you. You wouldn't be grateful?" I theorize in terms that I know she would understand.

"My dad would just get me a new one," she shrugs nonchalantly, not missing a beat.

"Well, not everyone's fortunate that way," I remind her, blinking suddenly as the sun shines on something reflective in the cart, blinding me.

Reaching towards the sparkling object, I realise that it appears to be quite expensive. It's a glass ashtray. Rubbing the damp sand off the surface, my thumb feels an engraving. In swirly calligraphy, reads the initials:

'S.G'

"I'm sorry," Wheezie apologizes, wincing when she heard my comment, "I didn't think-"

"-It's okay," I smile at the girl. It's not like I don't understand my current life situation. It's pretty shitty, I know, but I live with it. I was born a Pogue for a reason. I wasn't supposed to be born with a silver spoon in my mouth, though that doesn't mean I hate those who are. They have it easier than me and my family, sure, but that's just how it is in the Outer Banks. Some are more fortunate than others. It does, however, leave a sour taste in my mouth that Kook parents will just throw money at there children to get them to shut up, but that's just a Pogue's opinion.

The generators haven't kicked in yet, seeing as though the Camerons security code gate is bouncing loosely against its unlocked hinges. Holding the gate open for Wheezie to push by with her cart, I catch a glimpse of their usually perfectly mowed lawn. Instead, I see plenty of fallen trees and scattered branches, broken plant pots, and ruined garden monuments. It’s not a good look, especially for the high-class Camerons.

That just goes to show, hurricane's don't show mercy on anyone, Kook or not.

As a wise man once said; 'Thanks Agatha, ya batch.'

Parking our carts beside the Cameron's private pool, away from the workers who are just trying to do their jobs. I turn to Wheezie saying, "You go get some soapy water and gloves and I'll empty the carts."

Nodding her head, she rushes into her house, leaving me slightly confused, 'Where did the sudden enthusiasm come from?'

Emptying the carts, I lay out what needs to be cleaned the most: from a bronze candlestick holder to a old, yet unique, shoe buckle, and everything in between. And of course, the ashtray. 

Holding it gently in my palms, legs crossed against the cold slabs, I couldn't help but feel hypnotised by the intricate marks that littered the tray. It truly was a lost treasure.

"I'll take that," announces a voice from behind my hunched figure, jumping when a hand snatches the tray from my grip.

Coming to my feet, I'm ready to snatch the tray back from the sudden thief, but I stop when I realise who it is. Why am I not surprised, I am on their turf.

If it isn't dumb, dumber and dumbest.

Throwing the delicate glass from hand to hand, Rafe lets out a low whistle, "Check the weight on that," he tosses it to Kelce who was standing tall behind him. Kelce nods his head in approval, of course agreeing with what Rafe has to say.

"Who did you steal that from Pogue?" Rafe smirks thinking he has me sussed out. Not wanting to give the satisfaction that him lobbing around the ashtray is causing me heart amputations, I stare him in the eye, "I didn't steal it. I found it."

"You did, did you," he utters pushing past me, his head low with a sick smile, taking in the view of the tressures that I had laid out, "And what about all this? Did you just find that too?"

I say nothing. He knows the answer to that question. I already told him. I don't need to explain myself, especially not to Rafe Cameron.

His eyes flicker over Wheezie and I's findings, taking in each and everyone with a curious eye,  before he cracked, "Bunch of junk," kicking some of the items into the pool.

All I could do was stare. Stare as someone's possessions sunk to the bottom of the marble pool, clashing and crumbling at the foot of Rafe. I fell sick.

His friend just laughs, egging him on. Kelce patting him proudly on the back, handing him back the ashtray. Rafe turns to face me, that smirk never leaving his face, but I can't look at him. I refuse to.

"-Hey Rafe, dad's looking for you," a soft voice breaks the harsh glare that Rafe was sending my way. Nodding his head at the voice, he holds the ashtray out for me to take.

It was too good to be true.

Gullible enough, I reach out for it, only to have it slip through my fingertips. Unable to hear the shattering of the glass as it hits the red slab, my brain refuses to accept fate as I stare down at the shards.

Laughing lightly, I bite my lip, nodding my head understandingly, not expecting anything less from Rafe. A sharp grip on my wrist snaps up my damp eyes, "See you later, Pogue," he hisses in my numb ear, before marching away as though nothing happened.

Sensing a presence, I meet eyes with the 3rd and final member of Rafe's crowd.

Topper.

Smiling lopsidedly at the well put together boy who hasn't moved or spoken since showing up, "Nice friends you've got there Topper," I say monotoned, watching as the boy snaps out of his trance-like state before following Rafe with a blank expression and his tail between his legs.

Shuddering out a breath, I unclip my waist bag and begin to pick up the chunks of glass. Pausing when a pair of clean, white shoes entre my line of sight, "Careful," she crounches down, picking up a shard, placing it into my bag.

A few minutes of picking up the sizable pieces, all that was left on the slabs was a glittering shimmer. Satisfied with what was salvaged, we stand back up to our full height. It was silent. Awkwardly silent.

"Thank you," I shyly say, not at all pleased that the Cameron girl had caught me in a moment of weakness, but at least she didn't mock me for it.

"Your welcome," she smiles before reaching for the tennis rackets she had thrown on the ground before coming to help me. Certain that was the end of the exchange, I turned back to the pool where pieces of metal and loose book pages float carelessly on the surface.

It was just a bunch of junk anyway.

"Hey," Sarah turns, rubbing the back of her head subconsciously, "I'm going to save mice from the birds," she says, pointing out to the bottom of her garden where the surge has blown over, waterlogging the grass.

I just blink at the girl, confused as to why she is even telling me this. Letting out a gentle huff, "I have a spare racket," she offers, holding out one of the two rackets she has in her hands.

Finally catching what she's throwing, I look anywhere but her direction, "I can't," hoping to find a legit excuse as to why I don't want to help her be a hero for mice. Then it hit me, "I'm supposed to be babysitting Wheezie."

My triumphant smile fell as fast as it came when Sarah says, "The powers back on, Wheezie will not willingly come outside again," still holding out the bat for me to take, "Also, my dad's back, so your shift ended about 20 minutes ago."

The more reasons she adds, the more difficult she is making it to say no, and she knows it as well. Her eyebrows dancing lightly as she waves the racket around like a tempting treat.

Giving in, seeing as though I have run out of excuses to give, I grudgingly accept the racket. Maybe her being the sworn enemy of my best friend would have been a good excuse, but I didn't think of that at the time. And what would I of said:

'Oh, I can't help you, even though you selflessly helped me, because my best friend hates your guts.'

What are we, middleschoolers?

I can't help but feel wrong about it though. Like I'm betraying my role as a pogue, as a best friend. But if I feel that way about just being near the kook princess, that doesn't make me any better than her brother. A judgmental prick.

Let's call it paying back a debt. She helped me, now I'll help her. Tit for tat. Anything to make my mind feel at ease.

Walking behind the women who seemed to be on a mission, I'm met by the shrieking flock of overhead seagulls, each nosediving into the burrows, hoping to catch their next meal.

"Operation ‘Save The Mice’ is a go," she announces, holding out her racket waiting for me to tap mines against hers, declaring our battle. I couldn't help but wonder aloud, "Why does this concern us?" tapping my racket unsurely against hers.

Nodding her head in confirmation, she takes her stance, eyes now set on the sky. "You have about as much compassion as a rock," she focusses her swing, untimely missing by a long shot. It was entertaining to watch, I'm not going to lie.

"Tell me something I don't know," I reply, leaping back as the girl swings her racket with vigour and fury at the diving gulls. I can't help but laugh at her attempts.

Having enough of my laughter she turns around, a challenging look flaring in her eyes, "Think you can do any better?"

I just shrug my shoulders, twirling the racket around my fingers, smirking at my trick, but Sarah just looks unimpressed. Watching as a flock of gulls take their position to dive,  I jump as high as possible hoping to swat them away.

At that moment I learned something about human capability. Humans shouldn't jump. Like ever. It's embarrassing. What do we expect? To touch the stars? It's nice to dream and imagine that when we push both legs of the ground, arms reaching high, that we are close to flying. Let's just say my non-existing dream to become an Olympic long jumper has just flushed down the toilet.

Another thing I learned is that when you swing a racket, with force, at a cluster of hungry Seagulls, you will get attacked. The only thing between them and they're next meal is me, and they didn't hesitate to remove me from the situation.

Letting out a shriek, I run away from the burrows, hands protecting my head as the birds swoop at me. Without a second thought, I run behind Sarah, using her as a shield to protect my crouching figure from the diving gulls.

After two minutes of fearing for my life, I can't help but chuckle at myself. And Sarah joins in, shoving my arm lightly, pushing me away from hiding behind her. The sudden shove causes me to stumble over my own feet, falling back on the grass. I couldn't help but laugh more, seeing stars as my stomach cramps in pain.

Sarah holds out her hand, trying her best to keep her balance from laughing, offering to help me up. I accept without a second thought, allowing her to pull me to my feet. Both smiling widely at our stupidity.

"Let's get these birds," I smirked at the girl who nodded her head in agreement. Both of us taking a battle stance, ready to defend our people. Or well Mice. They attack us, we attack them.

A cold shadow suddenly covers the setting sun that was shining against us. We let out another shriek, holding each other as we attempt to duck from the relentless gulls, running away from the burrows.

"Sarah!" I hear someone shout over our screams. Too busy protecting ourselves, we didn't even register the voice, "Mason?!" They ask in confusion.

Finally feeling safe enough from the killer birds, I look up to see Mr Cameron making his way towards us with Lana Grubbs at his side. 'Why is she here?'

"We're busy!" Sarah exclaims, picking up and tossing me the racket I had dropped when I fell, going back to swinging at the birds. She takes one side of the burrows and I take the other, waving around my racket. At this point I don't even care about the mice, those birds attacked me! So, I'm attacking them!

"What are you two doing?" Mr Cameron asks, not understanding why his daughter and his hired babysitter are running around like headless chickens.

"Saving mice," I reply, flashing my eyes over to the man, who stands with an ever so slightly amused look. "The birds are having a field day," Sarah adds, pulling me with her, chasing after the devils in the sky.

"Girls, the birds have to eat too," He implies, but we didn't hear any of it, still aimlessly swinging. "No, it's a mouse genocide out here," Sarah states breathlessly.

"It's the circle of life," Mr Cameron's patience was running thinner, "Now come on, I have a human being-" finally introducing the other presence in the garden. This pauses our attack, both looking apologetically at the lady, "-I'm so sorry. I'm Sarah."

Shaking the ladies hand, "This is Lana Grubbs, Scooter's wife," Mr Cameron introduces, "You were storm prepping with him, right?" he asks his daughter.

"Yeah," she answers, still breathless, "He helped me latch the cabin to the Druthers," nodding her head in the direction of the docked boat at the end of the pier.

'It's a nice boat,' I thought taking in the beauty of the three-story yacht, 'You can't hide money, huh.'

"Last night?"

"Yeah."

"And did he go out after that?"

"From here?"

"Yeah."

"No. Are you crazy? There was a hurricane," Sarah laughs lightly at the thought of someone willingly going out during a storm.'I could think of a few people,'  bringing my attention back to the two adults in front of me.

"Well, did he say where he was going?" Miss Lana asks, her eyes erratic, "Get a phone call or mention anything?" The desperation lacing her voice makes my heart stop with sympathy for the woman.

"He didn't say anything to me," Sarah shakes her head, her tone not hiding her pity for the lady.

"What about you Mason?" Mr Cameron asks me, "Have you seen Scooter recently?" his questions sparking Miss Lana to look my way, her eyes glistening with withering hope.

"The last I saw of him was when Pope and I delivered to your house," regret instantly hit me, as I had to be the bearer of bad news. It was true though. The last time I saw Scooter was earlier this week when he opened the door for his groceries. I've seen him at Save-A-Lot a few times, but that was months ago when I had to tell him to leave because other customers were complaining that he was bothering them for money.

"I'm sorry," I apologise to the lady who just shakes her head, looking at the ground.

"Is he okay?" Sarah asks her dad who just nods, wrapping an arm around Miss Lana, "He's absolutely fine," he reassures Sarah, before guiding the dazed woman back towards the house.

"Oh!" I hear Mr Cameron exclaim, spinning round to face me, digging through his pockets, "Thank you for watching Wheezie today," he says, placing a brown envelope in my hand.

"Thank you, sir," I smile with gratitude as he makes his leave again.

Sighing, I slap the envelope a few times in my hand, turn back to a Sarah. I go to snap her out of her daydream, but get interrupted by a distant voice, "Hey Sarah!"

At the top of the disarranged lawn stood a scornful Topper, hands in his pockets as he looks down on us, making his way over at a snail pace.

"You better go," I flick my head in the direction of her boyfriend whose eyes are slitted with distaste. Holding out the racket for her to take, she nods her head and makes her way over to Topper, not even sparing me a glance.

I get it.

"I want you to stay away from that pogue, alright?" I hear him utter not so quietly under his breath, knowing fine well that I'm still able to hear him. I pay him no mind, finding my own way out. That's what he wants. Attention. That's always been what Toppers wants. And I'm not going to give him that satisfaction. Not anymore.

Humming a gentle tune under my breath as I make my way towards the gate. I double-take when I spot a hunched figure sitting by the pool, "Wheezie?"

My sudden appearance spooking her as she ripped the earphones out from her ears, the buds projecting a catchy pop beat. The girl sat on the cold slabs, clad in yellow rubber gloves and safety goggles, surrounded my various cleaning tools: a basin of soapy water, a toothbrush, a blow torch?

"What are you doing?" I ask sceptically, making my way towards her as she stuttered over her words before giving up with a sigh.

"I heard what Rafe said," she admits, her voice low as though afraid to speak out against her brother. That's the Rafe effect. He gets off on it. Knowing that everyone around him, his family included, is too scared to tell him he's a mess with even messier opinions. "And it not true," she adds.

Wheezie walks over, holding out the shoe buckle that we found on the beach. The once rusted and unrecognisable buckle now sparkled a blinding silver, and despite its eroded corners, it was still in great condition, "Pretty, right?" she notices my expression, "That's not the best part," she claims, turning over the buckle,  holding it out of me to take.

Engraved on the silver base scribed, 'Made in Occupied Japan.'

"I couldn't save everything, like books and stuff, but I tried my best. I even made a box and everything," She rambles, rushing over to pick up the homemade box that read, "Lost and Found," painted in bold, pink lettering. In the box sat: a polished pin, the candlestick holder, a handful of leather wallets and all the other salvageable treasure that we found. And now the shoe buckle.

"It's not junk," she says, passing me the box, "They belong to someone and I hope they find them," she says, rubbing the back of her tinted red neck, finally understanding why I had her help me in the first place.

It's not junk.

I'm not great when it comes to other peoples emotions. They make me want to shrivel up and go invisible, but I can't help but admire the girls change of heart, but I'm still awkward so, I just ruffle her hair, hoping the annoying act conveys my gratitude.

Having enough of me for one day, Wheezie pushes me toward the gate, practically kicking me out. "See you next time kid," I shout over my shoulder, smiling as her face grovels at the word 'kid'.

Basking at my long journey home, I give up attempting to balance the light box in my arms. I place it on the sidewalk, unzipping my waist bag wanting to tuck the brown envelope, that I was struggling to hold, away. 

The clattering of glass pauses my actions. Reaching in, I pick out a small piece, watching as the setting sun danced across the surface, shining every colour of the rainbow onto the tarmac.

'S.G'

Chapter Three: FIN!

I really enjoyed writing this chapter, even though it’s kind of filler. Kie would be proud of Mason for beach combing, her tendencies are rubbing off on her.

I choose for Mason not to go to the motel because that’s just what I choose, I don’t really have a reason why. Well I do, but I can’t tell you yet. You’ll find out eventually, if my idea goes to plan...

So we learned about Mason very perfessional babysitting service. Also I know that Rafe is, y’know bad, but I’m excited to explore Mason’s relationship with him. It will be interesting to write!

What did you think?

I’m really excited to write the next chapter. Mason is going to get buzzed.

I hope you enjoyed this chapter <3

Also, if anyone would like to be tagged in future chapters, just let me know and I’ll for sure do that!

*TAGLIST*

@xshinytrashcanx​ @prejudic3​ @annoylinglyaries​

[calumance]

Wake up, Sunshine - Part 1

Warnings: cursing, anxiety attacks, car accident, mostly fluff though.

Summary: Addy just moved back home after breaking up with her long time boyfriend, and she runs into her high school best friend, who thinks it would be a great idea to set her two friends up, but Addy has a secret that she wants to keep hidden as long as she possibly can.

Word count: 4.2k

A/N: So, I wrote this three part series for #disabled!sos day which came from the brilliant mind of @skinnylukes​. The idea behind this is to encourage more disability-inclusive writing in the 5SOS community. I was honored when Carly asked me to write something for her event and I hope this brings happiness to at least someone who may be struggling right now. I would also like to take a moment to explain the title. It comes from the song All Time Low just released, and it’s all about knowing there is someone out there who loves you just the way you are, which is something that is stressed in this story. I hope you all enjoy, and I love you all so much. 😊

           The bell of the coffee shop rang as I walked through the door, a small part of me regretting coming here, but it had been so long. Off to the left I found the familiar face of my high school best friend, the one who invited me here. She lifted her head and made eye contact with me. Her eyes lit up and she started waving frantically with a large smile on her face. She pulled herself out of the seat and ran towards me, arms stretched out. When she finally reached me, she wrapped her arms around my neck and pulled me in for the tightest hug I’ve received in a long time. As she rocked me back and forth, expressing how happy she is that I came I thought back to how I got here.

           It was rough break up, I had moved away from home for him, and he went and destroyed everything we had. The pain in my chest wasn’t to go away staying where I was, so I went home. The only place I had to go to was back to my parents, and of course they would force me to go to the grocery store with them. The sun was bright as I stood outside the store, getting a breath of fresh air. Car rides make my anxiety sky rocket ever since that day. My phone had vibrated in my pocket, causing me to pull it out, but as I was looking at the screen, I heard my name being called by a voice that was not my mom’s.

           My eyebrows pulled together in confusion as I looked around for the voice calling my name. Suddenly, Crystal, my best friend from high school was making her way toward me. She was as beautiful as I remember, she had grown into her looks a lot better than I had. We were always together when we were in high school, but after I graduated and moved away, we lost all communication. It was a huge surprise that she would say anything to me since it’s been about eight years since we last saw each other.

           “It’s been forever!” She exclaimed, a man with blonde hair covered by a baseball cap turned backwards following her. “How are you? I heard about what happened.” I held up my hand to stop her from talking about it. The thought about what happened still sends me reeling, makes my heart race, makes me break down and cry. After thinking about how to answer her question, I just shrugged. In the past few years, nothing has been great. How was I supposed to tell someone I was good? “Listen, we should grab a coffee soon, catch up, I miss you.” My heart skipped a beat, I missed her too, we had fun back in the day. “Want to give me your phone number and we can meet soon?” With a nod of acceptance, she handed me her phone and I plugged it in. After the interaction, I found a seat on a bench outside, not wanting to even step foot in the store.

           About two days later she had sent me the official invite to meet her for coffee. She wanted to meet at a little-known shop about thirty minutes away from where my parents live. The thought of having to drive that far made my muscles tense, but still I accepted the invite due to the overwhelming need to reconnect with my old best friend and return to a “normal” life.

             After I grabbed my coffee from the barista, I sat in the chair across from Crystal, a huge smile stretched across her lips. As I took my first sip of coffee, Crystal cleared her throat, “I didn’t know you had moved back.” She sounded hurt that I hadn’t told her. I didn’t tell anyone, just my parents. The reason I came back was too embarrassing. There was no reason I should start running around telling the world I was back.

           My eyebrows raised, and I pulled my lips into my mouth the get every drop of the sweet nectar of the coffee. “I didn’t tell anyone, just my parents since I had nowhere else to go.” A shrug fell off my shoulders as I looked at her. Her face showed concern, the same look my parents give me every time I do or say anything. It was an annoying look.

           She leaned forward and laced her hands around the cup in front of her, “What happened with you and Alex? I thought you two were going to get married, or at least that was what it seemed like when you two moved away from here.” I could tell she was reluctant to ask the question, but there was a look in her eye that told me the question was eating away at her.

           A devilish smiled stretched across my face, “We were going to get married. We were engaged for a year and a half, I had planned almost the entire wedding. That’s when I found out he had been fucking some drop-dead gorgeous redhead from his work for a year.” My shoulders pulled up to my ears as I took another drink of my coffee, wishing it had more of an impact on my thoughts. Maybe I should start putting whiskey in my coffee.

           Crystal’s jaw dropped, hanging open like I had just dropped a bomb. She sat back and breathed out. “Wow,” was all she managed to get out. Silence fell over us for a very awkward minute. My bones ached as I knew she wanted to ask me about the accident, but I wasn’t going to give in. Nothing in this world would make me want to talk about it, unless it was to a doctor. “What are you doing tomorrow night?” She questioned, surprising me a little.

           My throat worked as I swallowed the large gulp of coffee. My eyes darting to my cup, then back to Crystal. “I don’t believe I am doing anything, why?” I sounded skeptical, but I had every right to be. We haven’t seen each other in a long time, and now she’s inviting me for coffee, and probably to something else.

           A smirk appeared on her lips, “My boyfriend, that’s who was with me at the store the other day, and I are having a little get together at our house. I think you should come. There will be drinks, and music, and an overall good time.” How’d I guess? She hasn’t changed much since high school, she was always the one dragging me to things I didn’t want to go to. Even though I never wanted to go to the things she would take me to, I would go because she asked me.

           I guess I haven’t changed either, because I agreed to go to her get together. When she had texted me the details she told me to ‘dress cute.’ I wasn’t even sure what cute was anymore. A normal outfit for me was boot cut leggings and a hoodie. Somehow, I managed to pull out a floor length floral dress I had in the back of my closet. Before I put it on, I sat on my bed, hands clenching the edge of the bed. My heart racing, my eyes flicker to my right leg, or lack thereof. My eyes squeeze shut, trying not to think about the doctor telling me the leg had to go.

             “Your lower leg is completely shattered, there is no way to repair the bones. We’re going to have to amputate.” He pointed to the sheet hanging in front of the white light. The picture caused my stomach to twist. Not a single fragment of bone in my leg was connected anymore. The fragments that were in there were nowhere near each other. It was as if I was looking at bone soup inside my leg. The tears welled in my eyes, I wasn’t sure if it was from the new or from the pain. All I knew was that I wanted all of this to be over, I wanted everything to go back to normal, and that just want never going to happen. A sob escaped my throat, no one there to comfort me beside the doctor who just told me that he was going to have to cut my leg off.

             All I wanted to do was scream, but if I screamed, my parents would come running. I wanted my leg back, I wanted to not be living with my parents. Why did all of this have to happen to me. The palms of my hands pressed against my eyes and I held back the scream sitting in my throat. Nothing was going to get better if I just sat here in my misery. So, I reached over and grabbed my robotic looking prosthetic and secured it. Even though the dress called for some cute shoes, I pulled on a pair of converse. Converse easily hid the fake foot on my right side, flats could never do that. With a large sigh, and a heavy weight taking its place in my stomach, I headed towards the address Crystal sent me.

           After I got out of the Uber and it drives away, I paced, calming my heart rate from the anxiety attack I get every time I sit in a car. Anger takes over most the time, because I know car rides are a necessity, my heart never fails to run rampant. “Come on heart, chill out.” I mumbled to myself, shaking my hands in front of me to stop the nerves. It took a while, but I was finally able to compose myself and walk towards the front door. Reluctantly, I pressed the button for the doorbell and I took a step back, waiting.

           When the door finally opened, I was a bit disappointed to not be greeted by Crystal, instead it was the blonde-haired man she referred to as her boyfriend. A smiled stretched across his face, “You must be Crystal’s friend. She said your name was Addy?” He had an accent, but with such a short sentence, I couldn’t quite place my finger on it. I nodded, still a bit shaky from the car ride over.  “Come in, come in.” He waved his hand towards himself, and I hesitantly walked through the door.

           He shut the door behind me and I looked around. It was a beautiful house, a house that I would actually considering killing to live in. “My name’s Michael, I’m Crystal’s boyfriend. She’s told me a lot about you.” Hopefully not everything. He held out his hand waiting for a handshake. A heavy breath caused my chest to rise as I placed my hand in his, him giving it a hefty shake. “Everyone is out back, follow me.” He started walking, and I followed behind him, covering the slight limp.

Since the accident, I’ve gotten walking nearly down. Most of the time I walk normally unless I’m tired, or something causes me to not think about how I’m walking. Running, on the other hand, is different. The only way I get my mind off things is running, and even though I do it every morning at five, I still can’t get the motion right. The doctor told me that eventually I would move like it was my normal attached leg, but it would take some time. Thinking about that while running frustrates me, when is that time going to come? All I want to do is feel normal again, but because I can’t get the motion of running down, I feel like that may never happen.

Crystal let out a squeal as Michael and I passed through the threshold into their backyard. My feet stopped, freezing me in my spot. While still holding onto her drink, she threw her arms around me, kissing my cheek. No, she wasn’t drunk, that’s literally just the kind of person she is. I couldn’t help but smile, which felt weird, smiling hadn’t been my thing in a long time. “Do you want a drink? We have all kinds of stuff. Oh! I need to introduce you to everyone.” She grabbed my hand and pulled hard, causing my to almost fall flat on my face.

“Crystal!” I exclaimed, a little louder than I should’ve. Everyone looked at me, I swallowed. Her eyes were wide as she got closer to me, “Crystal, I can’t,” I licked my lips trying to find my words. My eyes closed, ignoring the ones on me, “You can’t just pull me like that.” When I opened my eyes, her hand was over her mouth, realizing what damage she could’ve caused.

           She slowly removed her hand, keeping it a few inches from her face, “Oh my god, Addy, I’m so sorry. Did I,” My head shoot back and forth stopping her from finishing her question. No, she didn’t hurt me, no she didn’t break anything, but she could have. “I’m so sorry.” My chest felt heavy as I thought about how bad of an idea is was to actually come here. She must’ve read my thoughts because she wrapped her arms around me and pleaded for me not to leave.

           My chest fell as I let out a sigh, “It’s fine, I’ll stay. You said you wanted to introduce me to everyone.” She pulled away from me and nodded, a perfect smile stretched across her face. As her hand found mine again, she waited for me to take the first steps and then she directed me where to go.

           We stopped in front of a tall dark-haired man with a square, manly face, but a sweet smile. “This is Ashton, Ashton this is my friend Addy, we were best friends back in high school and we recently reconnected.” Ashton waved at me, and I waved back. He was standing next to a sandy blonde-haired man with a scruffy beard and a smile that could make any girls knees weak. “That’s Luke, and the girl in the pool behind him is his girlfriend, Sierra.” Luke lifted and hand and held it out, asking for a hand shake.

           We shook hands, and he held onto it for a second, “Is your name actually Addy, or is that short for something?” Luke asked, the same accent as Michael’s falling from his lips.

           “Adeline, my full name is Adeline, but not a single person in the world calls me that, not even my parents. Pretty sure they regret giving me that name.” Luke laughed and nodded in acknowledgement. Behind Luke, I hear the water of the pool swash around and I see a tanned, bleach blonde-haired man climbing out of the water, using the side as leverage. He turned my way and I think I stopped breathing.

           His tanned skin twinkled in the sunlight, creating a glow around him. His tattooed chest flexed as he grabbed the towel not far from him. The muscles in his biceps flexed as he placed the towel over his face and neck, patting his skin dry. He dropped the towel and started walking towards us, water still dripping from his black swim shorts. He smiled a smile that could brighten a dark room. My heart was beating fast, and suddenly my mouth was incredibly dry.

           “Calum! This is my friend Addy, the one I was telling you about.” The one she was telling him about? I finally peeled my eyes off the man coming towards us and stared daggers at Crystal. She caught sight of my look and shrugged.

           He stopped a few steps away from us, letting the water drip, excusing himself as the water dripped toward my dress. “I’m sorry, I guess I should’ve dried off a bit more before coming over. Maybe I’ll go change before we meet properly.” Every word I knew got caught in my throat as he walked past me, flashing me another bright smile. I felt like collapsing, but suddenly Crystals grip on me, and her quiet giggle caused me to come out of my thoughts.

           “Crystal, can we have a quick chat. Somewhere private?” She nodded, still trying not to laugh at how ridiculous I’m acting. She pulled me inside the house, and into a bedroom I assumed was hers and Michael’s. She motioned for me to sit on the bed, and I did so, “Who was that?”

           She sat next to me hard enough to cause the bed to bounce. “That was Calum. He and Michael met a long time ago. He’s one of my favorite friends of Michael’s, he’s super sweet.” Crystal took a long drink of mixed drink she had in her glass, “And I also told him a lot about you. He’s really excited to meet you.” Excited to meet me? Oh, hell, what did she tell him? Did she tell him about my accident? Did she tell him about my ex? Does he want to meet me because I’m a nice charity case? Crystal’s eyebrows pulled together in anger and confusion. My eyes widened as I realized I asked these out loud. “I only told him the things that were necessary. He doesn’t know about your accident, he doesn’t know about Alex, he just knows that you’re one of my best friends, who just happens to be drop-dead gorgeous.”

           A sarcastic chuckle escaped my chest, “Crystal, you were, and always will be, a thousand times prettier than me. Also, I’m a freak. I only have one and a half legs.” That seemed to upset Crystal, the look on her face told me she wanted me to shut up. So, I did.

           She set her drink down on the table and then turned towards me. “You are not a freak because you lost your leg in a car accident, and you are definitely prettier than me. He seemed genuinely interested in you when I was talking to him yesterday. I think he wants to get to know you more. You should give him a chance, yeah?” Although I was terrified, I was willing to give him a chance.

           When we made it back outside, Calum was already back. He was wearing a pair of black joggers, a black sweat shirt, and a beanie that covered his blonde hair. Crystal brought me up to him and he smiled, and my heart pounded. “Sorry, Calum, we just went to the bathroom. Girls travel in pairs, you know.” She’s always been good at covering my anxiety. Maybe that’s why we were always such good friends.

           He pulled his lips down and waved his hand, “It’s not a problem. Anyway, I hope I didn’t get your dress wet. It looks very nice.”

           Even though he complimented me, I suddenly felt incredibly self-conscious. “It’s not a problem,” I cleared my throat trying to hide my complete and utter nervous breakdown. “It’s not that special of a dress, I think I got it at Target.”

           He chuckled, a smirk crawling across his lips, “That’s a good looking dress for something you found at Target.”

           My eyes wandered down to my dress. Why was he talking so much about my dress? Was he just as nervous as I was? “Thank you.” I choked the words out. Why was this so awkward. I caught sight of Crystal behind Calum. She was making motions to urge me to go for it, to talk to him. My cheeks flushed red, hoping that no one else saw the motions. I wasn’t sure this was the right thing to be doing this quietly after a horrible break up. I tucked a lock of my hair behind my ears and looked at the ground.

           He shifted awkwardly in front of me, putting his hands in his pockets. “Do you want something to drink?” He finally asked me, breaking the awkward silence. After I nodded, he smiled and motioned for me to follow him. He passed by me and I looked at Crystal who was holding up two thumbs. Even though Crystal had a good feeling about this, I didn’t.

           Calum grabbed the liquor and started pouring. “Mind if I make you my specialty?” I shook my head back and forth, it’s been a long time since I drank. The accident was caused by a drunk driver, and even though I don’t drive, the idea still scared me. He poured a few hard liquors into the class and then added a splash of pineapple juice on the top. He flicked a straw into the drink and I bit my bottom lip. Considering how much alcohol he had poured into that glass, it wasn’t going to be long before I felt it. “Tell me about yourself, Addy.”

           I took the drink from him and I felt a knot in my throat. What did he want to know? “What do you want to know?” My eyebrows pulled together, I needed to stop asking my internal thoughts out loud.

           “Anything. Where are you from? What are your hobbies? What do you do for a living? Favorite animal? You know, all of the ‘hey we just met’ kind of questions.” He cracked open and black cherry white claw and took a drink.

           The ice in my drink clinked as I stirred it with the straw. “My full name is Adeline Davis, I go by Addy. I’m pretty sure my parents stopped calling me Adeline when I was really little. I’m from the same place Crystal is from. We went to high school together, we were best friends, until I had to go a ruin it and move to a different state with this guy I was madly in love with. That didn’t end up well, so now I’m back in town. I didn’t have anywhere to go, so I live with my parents. I have a degree in graphic design, but since I’ve been back I haven’t been able to find a job in the field quite yet. I haven’t been back long enough to really look. Um, yeah. That’s about it.” I took a sip of my drink and made a face. It was incredibly strong.

           He laughed at my face, my stomach involuntarily did a flip. “Sorry, sometimes I’m a little heavy handed. I’m sorry to hear that your last relationship didn’t work out. That’s cool that you’ve known Crystal for so long. I’ve only known her as long as Michael and she have been together. Four years now?”

           I raised my eyebrow, taking another drink, getting a little more used to the amount of alcohol. “She’s been with him half as long as I’ve been gone.” And as long as it’s been since I was in the accident. “We kind of lost contact while I was gone. It was kind of a toxic relationship. I lost contact with a lot of people that I deeply cared about.” The mood between Calum and I got a bit somber, so I stood up straight and smiled, “But I’m here now, and I’m reconnecting with my friends and my life, so it’s not all that bad.” Minus the fact that my life will literally never be the same again.

           Calum smiled with me, a nod. “I’m glad you’re here, too.” He raised his eyebrows and walked past me, back into Michael’s backyard. I couldn’t move, what did that mean? After a couple of seconds, I turned on my left foot and went back out into the backyard. Calum had taken a seat next to Michael and Crystal. Crystal motioned to sit in the chair next to her. Why did everything have to involve sitting? I took a deep breath and walked over to the seat and sat down, immediately crossing my left leg over my right one to hopefully hide the metal bend in my right leg.

           We spent the whole night talking, the best part of the whole thing was that my accident hadn’t been brought up once. Now it was time to go home, and I pulled my phone out to call an Uber. As I waited, I talked to Crystal, but when my phone buzzed, telling me the Uber was there, Calum caught me. “Uh, sorry,” He laughed nervously. “I didn’t get a chance to get your phone number. I’d like to hang out with you again.”

           Honestly, I was confused. Why did he want to hang out with me? This was probably the most awkward evening I’ve had in a long time. He smiled and held his phone out, the number pad opened. If I hadn’t needed to catch my ride, I would’ve protested, but instead, I grabbed his and typed in my number. After I handed it back to him, I waved and made my way out the front door towards the Uber. My palms became sweaty as I grabbed the handle and I had to take a deep breath before sitting in the car. Maybe hanging out with him more would make the interaction less awkward?

Part 2 | Part 3

[justrednow]

American Idiot (movie)

LaNow I love the musical and I love both albums featured. I’m hoping that’s the plot of the movie that I believe is being produced. But also like, I’d be down for some bat shit crazy stuff a la Pink Floyd: The Wall. But you know what’d I’d be really down for. 

No one asked for this. I’m aware.

American Idiot: So, we open on good ol’ perfect Jingletown and meet the perfect town and all its hidden horror. We get to see a good amount of repetitive time pass. Seeing the struggles of the working class of America. Theres a focus on the younger generation being strung along in their parents problems. 

As the song comes ot an end, or vamps under Idk, we meet our boy Johnny. Who in my opinion should be far more like the average vague age youth. He doesn’t know who he is and we meet his ex-underground rock band dad who is kinda an asshole. but he loves his wife, and probably loves his sons. We also meet Johnny’s brother who is just back from rehab. The pair make up everything Johnny doesn’t want to be.  

Jesus of Suburbia I-III: Johnny meets up with his friends at the 7/11 and lament about life while drinking stolen beer. Johnny talks about how much he wants to run away and find his true origins in the nitty gritty of a big city and wants to know true pain. Will complains about being a part of a military family and his parents divorice, and how none of them will ever fight for their country. Tunny reveals that he brought his family bible to burn, but is reluctant to do so. He too is struggling to know who he is, but says nothing. The group is chased out of the back lot by the manager of the 7/11. 

Jesus of Suburbia IV-V: Back in Will’s empty house Heather is waiting, revealing how she’s been trying to get Will’s attention. She is once again ignored when Johnny tells the group how he scored tickets to a concert in the “big city”. This is his plan to run away and never look back, he encourages the others to come with him. Heather gives Will a positive pregnancy test, in an attempt to break up with him. instead he elects to stay home, in protest of his own broken home. 

Tunny and Johnny refuse to change their plan, unable to understand how Will can have a light at the end of the tunnel. They argue as the two get on the bus to leave. Johnny tells Tunny he forgot to tell his mom that he was leaving. 

Holiday: In the big city the pair burst into their new life. They come alive at the concert and bond with a group of anti-war protesters. Whatsername catches the eye of Johnny, but he chickens out of talking with her. They join the protesters march on a government building after the concert, watching as one of the protesters leads with a speech on the steps. He is everything Johnny wants to be. After the police arrive and the peaceful protest is broken up the pair are invited back to the home, an abandon building, of a group of protesters.

Boulevard of Broken Dreams: Johnny tells the group his and Tunny’s story, capturing the attention of Whatsername who appears to have a similar story. Johnny gains confidence as he finds that these are his people. The Big City is somehow everything Johnny thought it would be, dark and gritty. Whatsername introduces herself to Johnny but he misses her name. Sparks are flying folks. 

Tunny begins to feel left out of the party, realizing this is not what he wanted.  

Favorite Son: Tunny turns on the old TV in the place. He finds an old VHS playing of an 80s propaganda cartoon. He falls victim to the glamorous lifestyle of Favorite Son. He is drawn to the effortless power in the military life style, loving the danger and reward. He falls in love with the idea of being a hero for his people. Johnny joins him when everyone else has gone away.

Are We The Waiting: Tunny explains to Johnny his dreams of a better world. He thinks about Will, who is still at home trying to enjoy his future fatherhood. Heather, who is still trying to gather the courage to leave Will as she wants what’s best for her child but isn’t in love with him. Johnny, who is stuck in his new dream. 

Tunny, the next morning, enlists in the Army and finds that he will be shipped out within the week.

St. Jimmy: Johnny, angry at Tunny, meets a new best friend who has come to visit the squatter city.  St. Jimmy is the hard core punk god Johnny has been waiting for. He is a drug dealer with everything. Johnny shoots up for the first time with another group. St. jimmy openly welcomes him to his new lifestyle of getting everything you want. Almost everyone loves him, they worship him.

Little Girl: St. Jimmy tries to target Whatsername, as she tries to convice Johnny not to fall into the hands of drugs. 

Give Me Novacaine: Back in Jingletown Will tries to cope with Heathers decision to leave him and to keep their soon to be born child. In Johnny’s home his mother cries as she learns that he has run away. His father seems to be happy about it and tries to convince her it was just his time to fly the coop. Seeing this isn’t helping, he vows to find their son. 

Tunny is finally getting a piece of the action, he gets a huge piece in his thigh and is carried off of the field. 

Johnny has been recieving letters from his friends and burns them, quickly stopped by Whatsername who shows him another way of life. 

She’s a Rebel/ Last of The American Girls: Whatsername tells Johnny her true story and how she plots to lead a riot against discrimination against the poor. She brings him to homeless shelters where she volunteers and to protest concerts. Johnny eagerly writes to his friends about his new love. Will gets a good laugh over it. St. Jimmy, who is more or less real, has begun to feel ignored and starts spilling lies about Whatsername that Johnny dismisses.

Last Night On Earth: Johnny has never been in love until now. His father finds the ticket packages and gets on the next bus. Whatsername promises Johnny their relationship is more than just lust. Heather has her baby and Will chases her down to the hospital, begging to be allowed to see her. Heather reveals that she broke up with him because of his unhealthy habits to her nurse, Johnny’s mother. Heather promises she will never let anyone hurt her child and from outside the door Will promises the same. 

Johnny writes his first letter back home.

To Much To Soon: Finally back home, Will finally confronts Heather on her judgment of the past he left behind for her. Heather challenges how Will copes with stress and how it will effect their child's life. Heather decides if he is going to keep chasing her, she’s running away for good. She takes the baby with her. 

Before Lobotomy I/ Extrodinary Girl: Tunny is left alone during his recovery, finally receiving the letters his friends have sent him. The other injured soldiers in infirmary cry for their families left behind and why they join the fight to begin with. Tunny gets a new perspective on the war. He meets his nurse, the first person to provide him any comfort during this time and tends to his wounds. He quickly falls in love with her and has dreams about being Favorite Son saving the distressed princess from the evil bad guys. She tries to pull him out of the fantasy as it becomes more dangerous and the two bond over war trauma. They share a heat of the moment kiss

Before Lobotomy II: Tunny is sent home due to having his leg amputated. He takes his nurse with him, as they have fallen in love. He wishes his war buddies luck, and says farewell to the ones dying. 

When It’s Time:  Johnny writes a letter to Whatsername about his feelings for her and how he doesn’t know what he’d do without her. She showed him what pain can look like. For once he isn’t lost. 

St. Jimmy rips up the letter and burns it when Johnny’s back is turned.

Know Your Enemy: St. Jimmy tries to coax Johnny into doing harsher drugs, the only thing stopping Johnny from following him is Whatsername. So Jimmy convinces Johnny that she’s been manipulating him into believeing her stories and that he needs the drugs to cope with his own pain. Whatsername tries to get Johnny’s attention and is confronted with Johnny minimizing her pain in exchange for his own.

21 Guns: Whatsername finally takes the needles and pills from Johnny and shares her full story of being abused and being a victim of the streets. She begs him to listen to her and know that he doesn’t have to keep fighting. Johnny tries to listen to her but St. Jimmy lingers. 

Will finally gives into Heathers wishes and steals beer from a store. While drinking he realizes this is what she was talking about. He pours it all out. He finds out Tunny is home and commits to helping him.

Johnny’s father searches the city, he can’t stop thinking how pointless this is.

Johnny tries too convince Whatsername he feels her pain, which is why he needs St. Jimmy. Frustrated she shows him how ridiculous he is, he left a caring family and friend behind to seek out pain. 

Letterbomb: Finally done with Johnny’s shit, though she might still love him, Whatsername shows Johnny what fire looks like. She cries for the real heroes that fought for real change, not try hards just looking for a new outlet of self pity. She reveals that St. Jimmy was never real. She lets Johnny know that he isn’t the Jesus of Suburbia. If it isn’t obvious, Whatsername is the jesus of suburbia. Johnny helplessly watches as the love of his life leaves. Whatsername destroys all the pills before hopping the next bus out of the city.

When September Ends: Johnny’s father finds Johnny crying on the steps of a church. Father reveals how proud of Johnny he is. He tells Johnny about how angry he was when he was and how he just needed to find himself, which is what he assumes Johnny is doing. 

Tunny finds out many of his war buddies haven’t made it back home and never will. He cries to his nurse who promises nothing bad will happen to them.

Will thinks over how he let everyone he had slip away from him.

Johnnys mother calls her husband only to find out that Johnny will not be coming home just yet. Father heads back to Jingletown. 

Johnny thinks over how much he hated being anything like his father and now realizes that is truly who he wanted to be. he is shocked to think that his father ever loved him and wishes he would have shown it better. 

Homecoming I: Johnny packs his bag and prepares to go back home as he is the only one left. Its been a while since he and his fathers talk. He is unsure of where to go next. St. Jimmy has been in and out of his life anytime he thinks about everything that he’s learned. St. Jimmy tries one final time to convince Johnny to stay in the city. There is nothing in Jingle Town for him. Johnny appears to try and commit suicide but instead the bullet kills St. Jimmy in a rather comic way. Johnny truly has nothing left now. 

Homecoming II: Johnny reveals what the world could have for him, working a desk job with a boring wife. He hates what he sees and tries to convince himself that there is more to life than this image. 

Homecoming III: Tunny is living a dull life at home, trying to get a job but struggling due to his amputation. He wishes to be released as the nurse has got a new job and works to support them. 

Will is still crying to himself and finally decides he’s had enough

Homecoming IV: Heather is back in town to visit her parents with her new fiance and the baby. She meets up with Will, flaunting how rad her new man is. Will fails to see how he failed in comparison. Heather gives the baby to Will, loving her new life more. She wanted what was best for her baby and she could never provide that.

Homecoming V: At the 7/11 Johnny hops off the bus and finds that his friends are waiting for him. He drops his bags and runs into their arms. They share the stories of their adventures and how they never realized what they had here in Jingletown was what the needed, real cliche. Johnny reunites with his family and forgives his father. Tunny gets a job with his girlfriend in the hospital as a receptionist and a speaker. He has found his purpose. Johnny helps Will set up his house for the baby, admitting that he misses the people in the city.

Whatsername:  Johnny works as a music teacher in the school fifteen years down the line. While in a school recital he thinks he sees Whatsername in the crowd, but it’s someone else. When he gets back to his new house he pulls out his old guitar case and looks through all the memorabilia of his big adventure all those years ago. The thing he misses the most is Whatsername, the girl who he couldn’t even remember her name. 

anyways no one asked for that and I’m sorry but that was fun and I will probably do it again with a musical few people like. 

[icosmohunters]

chapter four : blind rage

chapter four of cosmo hunters!

word count : 4.7k words

synopsis : crimson is dead and hope has finally received her reward. but it is not a celebratory event considering she was injured during the mission, all because of a dumb move from her pirate passengers. and her anger is bubbling up, ready to overflow, or worse, explode.

her ears were still ringing from the explosion.

it’s indescribable what being near an explosion can do to you, but being near two may potentially mess you up in ways unimaginable. hope has never been the type to set off bold traps like that to catch her criminals. she’s always been very precise and quiet when it comes to killing, making a ruckus just didn’t make any sense to her.

at this point, her head was throbbing from increasing agony. it felt like someone had taken a drum and started banging it repeatedly by her head. it came to a point where keeping her eyes were better off closed. but she needed to get back to the ship fist.

now, she had no idea how those pirates found their way to her, how they’d managed to find the location and set up two explosives on the walls. whatever tactics they used, whatever reason they had, she didn’t want to hear any of it. if anything, she didn’t want to hear anything from them at all.

on the hoverbike ride back to the docks, hope was fighting against the exhaustion that had come from that mission. but she had officially killed the criminal on top of her bounty list.

crimson, in his life as a criminal, had pillaged, stolen, killed and hurt hundreds of people for his own sick pleasure. and with him gone, hope considered the galaxy to be somewhat safer. but there were people still out there who would still challenge peaceful ways of living. and hope wasn’t for it.

people such as pirates.

for some reason, the trip back took longer, and it was probably because hope gave up on the idea of reckless driving and wounded up being careful this time around, mostly because she felt like she was dying and that if she acted recklessly here now, she would end up doing more damage to herself.

hope soon said goodbye to the main road and took a harsh left before she was riding through the docks once again. it took her a while to find e dock, and upon seeing nebula, she heard a small jingle tapping against her ear into her earphone.

a.j.

“ you’re injured ”.

hope sighed whilst dismounting the hoverbike. and upon disconnecting it from her system, she then sent the hoverbike on an autopilot mode. it drove off along with its helmet, most likely to the nearest hoverbike parking space. she was going to miss it dearly, it had helped her a lot that day.

“ it’s only a migraine, a.j, relax. besides, being injured won’t stop me from giving those pirates a nice smack over the head of every single one of them, who told them to get involved with my mission?! ”, she yelled and noticed the rise of her tone. realizing she couldn’t bring attention to herself, she blinked and shook her head. “ but i’m okay. did you call voyage? i want my reward. ”

a.j sighed, “ hope, i have scanned your condition. you might have a blast injury. ”

hope paused for a moment and let out a laugh. hope rarely laughed. maybe she was going insane. “ what? those two weren’t even a-bomb level explosions. i’ll be fine, it’s just the shoc— ”.

“ hope, i recommend laying down. blast injuries can cause damage to air-filled organs in the human body and something in that explosion was off. it wasn’t just a grenade or something of the sort ”, a.j explained. hope listened carefully. “ i recommend laying down and looking for medicine. ”

hope didn’t like arguing with a.j. usually, there was no point in arguing with him because he was always factually correct and she wouldn’t not trust him. he’s been her companion for years, he wouldn’t lie about something like this. something like an injury.

so she bit her lip and chose to follow his instructions. she watched the hatchet open up and the stairs appear and began to take the steps up into the ship she was worried about fo the whole mission. 

upon entering, she found that the pirates hadn’t returned yet. and she didn’t care if they didn’t. she hoped that they would find themselves caught by a voyager officer. ever since she took them in, they’ve been nothing but a headache and now they were out causing mayhem. and hope didn’t like it.

the first place she went to was her bedroom, where she quickly changed out of her clothes and into her bathing robe. if she was going to relax, she might as well do it properly. before leaving for the shower, though, she set down her change of clothes folded neatly at the foot of her bed.

now that the engine was working properly, the warm water was allowed to come on. the bathroom was actually quite big, big enough to fit a shower and a bath in case she got bored of one. hope didn’t take to long when it came to showering. she simply got rid of the ash and dirt that had settled on her skin and then washed her hair quickly. it was like when she was back home, excited to finish her shower to get more sleep-time after a long day at school.

i should probably give mom or dad a call soon, she thought after stepping out. she put on her robe once more and she didn’t leave until she’d dried her hair, finding it hand to brush it at first because she had no more moisturizing cream. 

in around twenty minutes, she had changed into some suitable clothes and had taken the medicine that a.j had recommended for her. her eyes would often dart to the time, wondering just where those pirates were and if they would be making an entrance before she left the docks. if not, she wouldn’t mind it either.

before she could even think about relaxing, though, she realized she had to come into contact with voyage in order to tell them about crimson’s status. so she went up to her navigation cabin and after fiddling with the control panel for a bit, a projector emitted a holographic figure of some sort. it took a moment for the image to clear but hope soon found it to be lieutenant creed.

creed was a tall man of african origin, with a strong and defined facial structure and deep-set eyes holding a mixture of sagacity and purpose. hope had never noticed it but there were freckles which could be seen scattered against his cheeks, a charming detail to a man who often terrified her with a single glance.

“ hope. how lovely for you to call. i expect some good news? ”.

hope nodded and bowed her head respectively. “ crimson is dead. i’ll give the coordinates to where you can find his body. it’s an alleyway, east-central of j-colony. nearby the shopping district. i don’t suppose it’ll take longer for your team to find him ”, she explained, typing in the said coordinates into a dialing pad.

creed seemed to have received it. his gaze fell down to something hope couldn’t quite see but she imagined it to be the details she’d sent. “ well done. i suppose you can finally cross him out of your bounty list. your reward will be transferred to your account by tomorrow, earth-time ”, the lieutenant explained. hope let out a sigh of relief and nodded. “ but, hope. i can’t help but ask why you look so pale. ”

hope blinked. creed was always a man who centered his attention on his work but it never stopped him from behind somehow caring. or at least critical and watchful. “ oh, it’s nothing. a.j says it’s a blast injury ”, she spoke and saw an expression of alarm pass over creed’s face. “ b-but it’s okay, sir. well, uh, crimson managed to lead me into a trap into this alleyway. but i got him nonetheless before he could escape. ”

she didn’t know why she, even now, dared to cover up the work of the pirates. it was most likely because she didn’t want creed to suspect that maybe she was hiding criminals in her ship. yes, she just didn’t want her reputation tarnished because of those guys.

“ still, i hope these explosions didn’t cause too much damage. we need you, hope ”, his voice became kinder in a way, hope couldn’t help but be reminded of her father back home. “ i suggest getting some rest. and if it is serious, travel to the hospital over at j-colony. i’ll even put you down for an emergency check-up if you need it. ”

hope quickly shook her head, “ n-no, sir, that won’t be necessary. the symptoms have only been a slight migraine, nothing too serious. ” she says that even though it felt like a dozen nails were being hammered into her skull. 

creed nodded, and she saw the way his head seemingly dropped with some tone of worry. he then tilted his head but he didn’t look towards her, it was like he was avoiding her gaze. “ i’ve received some news from your father ”, he exclaimed in a put-on, lighthearted tone. hope’s interest skyrocketed. “ he’s been dispatched from the hospital. but it appears they won’t be able to get him a metal arm for a couple of months. there’s been a high demand for them in the corporation, especially for those who sustained injuries in battle. ”

hope’s gaze dropped to her lap. her father worked for voyage just like she had. he’s been there even before she was born and has always said it was his home, but a month ago he got into an aerial altercation and the blast his ship suffered was enough to shatter his arm beyond repair. they found it would have been best to amputate the arm and wait for a metal reestablishment until they had enough money to pay for a surgery to give him a new arm with his own cells.

hope hasn’t been there to visit him once.

“ i suppose that is good news. i was expecting something worse ”, hope chuckled and lightly shook her head as to avoid another pinch of the migraine. “ i-if you come into contact with him before i do, tell him i miss him terribly. and that i’ll try my best to visit him soon enough. ”

creed nodded his head, “ certainly. well, i hate to cut this short but duty is calling. again, thank you for taking care of the major problem. and rest and take care of yourself before you even think of hunting again. ” hope laughed lightheartedly. creed wasn’t threatening when he was caring. “ goodbye, hope. ”

she waved and watched the holographic projector turn off. her smile dropped as she leaned against her chair and let out an exasperated sigh. too much was happening all at once, her thoughts were accumulating into a worse headache and it was difficult to sort even the smallest of things, like the fact that she could rest now. 

but hope still remained anxious even on her way to her bedroom. her father . . . she was worried about his reaction to all of this. he’s always been so eager about his job and what he does and to suddenly have to stop working might impact him negatively. he was like her, in that he always had to be doing something, even whilst not working. 

by the time she reached her bed, the pain was overbearing and she thought she was going to start screaming in agony. but it seemed that the agony knocked her out before she could think to complain. her eyes were droopy and the feeling of hard, heavy rocks bashing against her head faded slowly as she dozed off. too exhausted to think about the pirates. too exhausted to think about anything at all.

time skip  ﹏

a jovian day is nine hours. hope, therefore, didn’t know whether she had slept a day or perhaps two days based on when the cobwebs of sleep lifted at the feeling of something being pressed to her forehead. she had lost the sense of time in her sleep, but it didn’t matter entirely too much because those hours of sleep were perhaps the most sleep she’s ever gotten in her young adult life.

hope awoke with a sense of discomfort somewhere in her body. there was an overwhelming ache that felt like it was affecting her bones more than her muscles, like there was something biting at her skeletal structure and sometimes gnawing at her nerves. she thought that maybe she had been kidnapped by bizarre aliens and was being experimented on.

but after a couple of minutes, she was able to open her eyes through the exhaustion and found a figure sat at the side of her bed. a figure holding what seemed to be a wet cloth to her face. if she had been feeling energized, hope would have smacked the hand away. but she was drained, unable to move or keep herself awake for too long.

her vision cleared and that’s when she recognized this figure to be dawn. 

the soft-faced girl seemed to sense hope’s waking presence as she caught her eyes and jumped slightly, but her expression softened as she removed the cloth from her face. hope almost asked her to put it back, it was a nice distraction from the pain.

“ you slept for twelve hours ”, dawn began by saying. her tone was soft, almost inaudible. but it was better than being welcomed by an out-going voice or even worse, a.j’s sultry, matter-of-fact, sarcastic tone. 

hope craned her head to the left slightly to peer at her digital clock, it was around 3 o’clock, jovian time. she sighed and turned her head back to its original position slowly. so the pirates had managed to find the ship. from what she could tell, nebula hadn’t taken off. so nobody had navigated her whilst she was sleeping. at least, she hoped that was the case.

dawn continued, “ we took our time getting back because we needed to get some stuff. clothes, weapons, that sort of thing. vivi also wanted to see the city properly, it’s the largest in the galaxy, after all. ” the girl chuckled softly and hope just watched and listened.

“ i-i couldn’t help but worry about you, though. t-the explosive enzo set up, he thought it would just be one that would stun anyone within the premise of its location. he thought it would have been useful for you to be able to catch crimson. b-but it ended up being a toxic smoke that was released ”, hope’s eyes widened slowly. “ w-we all managed to cover our mouths and noses but we forgot to warn you as well. ”

crimson had been wearing a mouth-mask during the chase. it had come off at some point but hope recalls him slipping it on after the first explosive went off. so he knew it was a toxic bomb rather than anything else. and she had been the one completely oblivious to all of it, the one injured and affected by the toxicity and only her. nobody else seemed to have gotten hurt.

hope’s blood started to boil, and it didn’t help that she was injured. but she was so angry, so bitter about all of this that she lost that sense of care towards her own well-being. what she knew is that she hated every single pirate aboard her ship at that very moment. 

not only had they nearly ruined her mission by acting recklessly and independently, but they also didn’t think to warn her just before the second bomb went off that she could have at least avoided being poisoned by toxic gas. it didn’t even run through their overbearingly confident minds that she at least deserved some clarity in her own mission.

they had stepped out of the nebula when she told them not to. they had jumped into action when they weren’t needed and they had nearly caused her target to run away when they could have just sat back and avoided screwing it all up for her.

oh, the rage hope felt couldn’t be explained even with the widest lexicon of a human being.

soon, she had kicked off her blankets and forced herself up. dawn yelped and tried to get her to lay down but hope managed to avoid her panicked pushing and broke through and got herself out of bed. then, without some effort required, she charged towards the door. there was a slight limp in her step as her right leg felt like it was asleep, or perhaps it was just the toxicity eating away at her bones. 

her bedroom door slid open and hope could hear dawn running after her, “ h-hope, you should lay d-down! y-you can’t be making sudden movements, y-your body is still recovering. ”

hope laughed bitterly as her eyebrows suddenly became stuck in a growing frown. “ now’s not the time to be caring about my well-being when we could have avoided this problem, to begin with, had your crew, i don’t know, told me about toxic bombs which they’d planted. or better yet, stayed inside the goddamn ship! ”, tone rising, hope’s footsteps quickened to where she heard voices.

the doors to the lounge opened and hope stepped in to see the pirates sat around so comfortably, at home as if they weren’t totally worried about the fact that she was a second away from perhaps strangling one of them with her bare hands. 

when the doors opened, enzo was the first to turn and look back and the smile on his face suddenly dropped. hope took a moment to lean against the wall and heard the doors open again and dawn rush over to her side, as if bracing herself for something.

“ w-why are you out of bed? ”.

“ let me do you one better, why are you still on my ship?! ”.

enzo jumped to his feet with furrowed brows, “ we were trying to help! i know you warned us but you’re not the boss of us here, at least not of them. i am. and i thought we could have helped you. we just didn’t want our ride to pluto getting into trouble. w-we meant no harm, hope! ”.

hope couldn’t help but let out an exasperated laugh, she couldn’t believe it! “ how about next time you’re trying to help someone, you use some of those brain cells to conduct a plan that won’t kill them!? ”, it wasn’t even a question, she was genuinely angry. “ god! and you still have the courage to come back here like i’m still going to take you somewhere. pack it up, get the fuck out! ”.

“ h-hop— ”.

“ get out! ”.

the more she yelled, the more lightheaded she felt. she took a deep breath and ran a hand through her hair, pulling at it slightly to ground herself because she felt like she was due to faint at any moment. 

“ you enter my ship. you take my shit as if it’s for free. you strike a bargain and sit around like you own the place and then you have the audacity, the audacity to intervene with my mission by dumping two toxic explosives into an alleyway. crimson almost got away! but hell, even he knew that the bombs were toxic, who cared to tell me that if i’d covered my mouth and nose, i wouldn’t have been poisoned!? ”, she continued.

“ we didn’t know it was a toxic bomb. we just took whatever shit you had on your ship and rolled with it ”, now dom spoke, and hope really wished he hadn’t. because every single time he opens his mouth, he enrages her to her breaking point. “ i mean, aren’t you like a 4-star bounty hunter? why didn’t you notice there were two explosives? ”.

“ because i was chasing a fucking crook into an alleyway with the intention of killing him, without the knowledge that you idiots would go against my orders and hatch a plan amongst yourselves and then never warn me! ”, hope shouted and threw up two fingers. “ two chances. you had two chances to warn me. you could have tapped into my tracker and told me. or you could have told me that the gas was toxic so at least i wouldn’t be limping all over the place! ”.

her throat started aching at this point and she burst into coughing, painful coughing that caused a shattering trail of torture throughout every bone in her body, it felt like a bomb had gone off her in her and her brain was barely able to hold itself in place.

hope felt a gentle hand against her back, probably dawn’s hand and didn’t really have the courage to pull away. she held her own hand to her forehead and furrowed her brows. she was out of breath, she could barely think but she knew that she was angry and at any moment, the anger might turn to murder.

vivienne’s voice broke through the silence, “ i think we should let her rest. whatever happened, it’s done now. and hope’s injured. she needs to be in a good condition even if she does end up taking us to where we have to be or not. ”

“ i won’t ”, hope muttered slowly.

dom laughed, “ well, i think it’s a damn shame. ” even with a migraine, hope could see him stand up from his seat on the couch and move towards her. “ i mean, i told you guys that you don’t trust someone who just happens to work at voyage. they’re perfectionists and any slight inconvenience makes them have a hissy fit. ”

“ dominic ”, quinn called in a doubtful tone.

“ don’t dominic me, quinn. come on, even you agreed that this wasn’t a good idea. i mean, it’s a shame our lovely captain here got injured. but think about it in a positive light! if she’s gone, we can just take her ship and go. ”

hope didn’t know where the energy came from. but it was like something murderous and malevolent had awoken from within her aching body and suddenly she forgot all about the sense of consequence and the idea of karma. that went out of the window in a heartbeat.

because dom had approached her and he had said something that had her heart racing in the worst way possible. suddenly, she got up from her hunched position and moved forward and with a swift swing of the hand, smack!

she heard dawn gasp behind her.

she’d slapped dom, and she made the effort of curling her fingers into her fists to add even more damage and when he staggered back, she wrapped her aching fingers around his throat and wounded up pushing him against the nearest wall, forcefully and violently.

her forearm came to where her fingers were as she kept him pinned to the wall. she noticed her breathing was erratic and only when she saw the redness on his right cheek did she think to step down.

but she didn’t.

“ listen here. listen very fucking carefully to what i’m about to say ”, hope spat, eyes blazing and wide. she knew she probably looked like a maniac in the eyes of many but she’s been cool for too long now and all that was happening around her had blood steaming and evaporating with rage, the heat, and hatred she felt was unbearable. “ you’re going to have to learn your place. right now, you’re on the verge of being throw into the middle of space-time continuum if you keep this up. if you even think you have a single ounce of power on this ship, you’re mistaken. you’re not touching nebula until my dying breath and that won’t be anytime soon so long as i stay alive to make your life a living hell. ”

“ l-let me g— ”.

hope stopped dead in her tracks and a maniacal smile suddenly reached her lips. “ only because you asked nicely ”, she said. her grip on him loosened and she watched his figure go limp before he settled in a crouched position near the floor, coughing.

hope began to feel lightheaded again. but she had time. so she turned to the others and looked at them individually. “ and that goes for the rest of you. if you think you have a sense of authority over me for any sort of reason, don’t count on it. but know something; we’re not a team, we’re not friends, we’re not comrades. we’re not anything ”, hope declared. “ and know that so long as you’re on my ship, you’ll behave. or i’m dumping you all on the nearest planet. i hope i made myself clear. ”

coughing into her hand, hope inhaled deeply before swiftly exiting the lounge. she didn’t care what they thought. hopefully what she did was enough to encourage them to get off the ship right now and never return. she hoped they would leave and allow her to rest in peace, and let her go back to her normal way of living. she wanted them gone, gone.

she came to her bedroom and sat down on her bed before rubbing her tired, aching eyes.

“ fuck. ”

hope hadn’t lost her patience in ages. she realized now the effects of being isolated from people for so long. she was accustomed to an obedient, smart a.i who didn’t run around causing mayhem for her. she was accustomed to a smart ship who would take her anywhere and provide her a dozen adventures around the galaxy.

she wasn’t used to pirates and toxic bombs and being poisoned. she wasn’t used to the way her life had changed over a day or two. all because she allowed herself to be generous towards a group of people she hoped wouldn’t give her trouble.

but they did.

because she was stupid enough to throw her trust on the table when the trust wouldn’t be mutual when it wouldn’t be noticed and respected.

“ hope, i’d like a sample of your blood, please. ”

hope rose her head towards her bedside table and saw that it was only a.j doing a health check-up. she sighed and placed her hand on a small device. soon, she felt a needle strike her index finger and she hissed and quickly searched for a bandaid. all whilst waiting for a.j’s response. “ so, am i dying? ”, she questioned with a timbre of sarcasm.

“ the toxicity levels seemed to have gone down during your fit of rage. perhaps you should head down to the gym to blow off some steam ”, a.j recommended and hope didn’t respond, she just slowly got up from her bed and walked to her wardrobe. but then he spoke again. “ i sense guilt from you. ”

hope rolled her eyes, “ reboot your system, a.j. ”

“ i am not joking, hope. i heard everything. i can understand the reason for your rage. what they did was incredibly idiotic but i sense that you don’t feel too good about having yelled at them ”, he justified and his tone seemingly changed into something quieter, almost skeptical. “ you never lose your patience. ”

“ yeah, yeah, but i’m human and other humans piss me off. especially those who try to mingle with my style of living and feel entitled to help me like i’m a damsel in distress. i’ve been doing this for years, i don’t need help! ”, hope hastily snapped and groaned. “ stop making me talk about it. ”

“ my apologies. ”

hope started to browse through her workout clothes but then her mind wandered for a moment. she bit her lip and frowned. since when was she such a bitch to her a.i? since when was she such a bitch in general?

it’s those pirates, she knows it.

they’re the reason she’s like this.

but for some reason, she hasn’t gotten rid of them. and doesn’t plan to.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #247

“i tried to choke my mom with my umbilical cord, the doctor was too busy amputating my horns.”

Have you ever had confetti pancakes? I don't believe so. Do you obsess over your appearance? To a degree, ex. in regards to weight. Are you responsible for stuffing someone’s stocking? No. What’s your favorite romantic comedy? Ah man, idk. I like romcoms, just none are coming to mind right now. Do you stock up on make-up palettes during November? ????? no????? Have you ever taken a class online? Yes. Do you have a Neopets account? Omg I have so many piled up, I'm sure, lol. Loved that shit and kept going back. Do you make your own smoothies or juices? No. Do you think time really does heal all? No. Are you more sensitive to heat or the cold? HEAT, FUCKING CHRIST. Has anyone searched your room for anything recently? Mom helped me search for one of my mood stabilizers that the cat got out of my basket... We never found it. A new bottle. Thank god my psychiatrist just gave me a sample pack til my prescription can be refilled. Is anything in your room purposely hidden? Yes. Do you get a cold around the holidays? I rarely get sick, regardless of the season. Does it snow where you live? Rarely. Have you ever been pranked via hidden camera? No. Is hair gel a turn off on guys? "Not necessarily, but too much can be." <<<< This. Do you think cursing makes people sound unintelligent? Lol fuck off. What’s something you can cook extremely well? The only thing I CAN cook is cheesy scrambled eggs but I mean they're exceptionally good lol. Have you ever been bitten by a snake? Nope. How about a spider? Possibly at some point. If you don't want kids, was there ever a time you did, and vice-versa? The only time I ever wanted kids was deep into Jason's and my relationship. It's funny because I wanted three and now I'm just all NOPE. I stopped wanting kids after him. What is your favorite color for bridesmaid dresses? Idc. Do you ever count sheep to help you fall asleep? No. Do you have a youtube channel? If so, when did you start it? Yeah. I was on YouTube real early... don't remember the actual year, though. Do you have a secret crush right now? No. When was the last time you called customer service? I haven't. Do you take birth control pills? Not currently for mood reasons, but with my incredible fear of being raped, I kinda wanna go back. Do you like chocolate cake? Yeah man. Do you know anyone who doesn’t want to have kids? Plenty of people, myself included. Do you regret letting a certain guy or girl slip away? Ugh idk. There's no telling how awfully or well that path would've gone. Have you ever fainted? Yes. Do you consider yourself a good artist? Decent, anyway. Do you ever play board games anymore? Not really, I don't enjoy board games. The only time I ever really do is if Girt's over cuz that's like our "thing." Who was your first celebrity crush? Whew, Jesse McCartney. Who in your family did you get your height from? Mom. Who did you get your smile from? your hair color? your eye color? Smile, idk. Hair, also unsure. Dad was born dirty blond like me, but his hair turned black. Meanwhile I think Mom has always had brown hair, but hers is very dark/almost black. My maternal grandpa had blue eyes like me. Do you have big or small hands? Idk, normal. What was the name of your first imaginary friend you remember having? I never really had one. Do you pray to God regularly? Considering I don't believe in Him, no. What is your favorite version of the Bible to read? Even growing up religious, I sure never spent time reading various versions of the Bible. Have you been baptized? If so, how and where were you baptized? I was as a baby in a Roman Catholic church. You know, the traditional baptism with being dipped in water. Do you eat meat? Sadly. What college did you go to? and what was your major? I'm not sharing what college I go to, but my major is Art & Design. Do you miss living with a roommate? I look back on living with Jason, Jacob, and Amanda fondly most of the time, but idk if I can say I miss it. I at least don't miss my mental health. Have you ever been abused in any way? I feel incredibly thankful that I haven't... It seems like most people I know have been in some way or form. Do you like unicorns? Yeah man, they're dope. How old were you when you found out Santa wasn’t real? Idk, some year in elementary school. Do you sleep with a stuffed animal? Ha ha no, I've got a cat for that. He insists on being cuddled most of the time. Name 3 things you are allergic to. Just pollen and silver. Oh, I do get headaches from artificial sweeteners, but "allergic" seems like the wrong word. Is there one book you have read over and over again because it’s so good? if so, which is it? The only two books I know I've read more than once are Because of Winn-Dixie and the Meerkat Manor book. Who was your favorite Rugrats character? Uhhh I think it was just regular ole Tommy. Which fairytale resembles your life the most? Uh idk. Do you play games on your phone a lot? No. What’s your favorite thing to do on your phone? Text Sara. Where do you buy most of your clothes? Wal-Mart or Hot Topic. Who is your favorite cousin? I don't have a favorite. Do you have family that lives in another state? Oh yeah, we're all the hell over the place. What states have you lived in? Only NC. Do you watch birth vlogs on youtube? bitch what the fuck What is your favorite type of cake? Red velvet. Favorite arcade game? I neeeeeed to find an arcade one day that actually has the Silent Hill game. It's so rare. I'm sure I'd love it. Have you ever found a roller coaster relaxing? Uh no, but I've never been on one, nor can I even imagine one ever being relaxing. Have you ever seen a spirit? I believe I have. Have you ever been kidnapped? Yikes no. Is there a running trail near your house? Not that I'm aware of. A game you cheated on in elementary school? None that I remember? Do you wear a retainer at night? I'm SUPPOSED to, but I haven't in so long that it doesn't even fit anymore. Where is the last place you had a kiss? The airport. When was the last time you cried out of physical pain? I think it hasn't been since that infected cyst was drained in like late '16. FUCK that. Have you ever done anything to Support the Troops? No. Do you donate blood? I did once, but now I'm too nervous to because I know I don't drink enough water and don't wanna faint. Have you ever owned the socks with toes on them? Ha, yeah, my sisters and I did. They were just a silly gift sometimes. What were you the last time you went trick or treating? WOW I couldn't even try to tell you, that's reaching far back. What was your favorite part about studying ancient Greeks and Romans? The badass names lmao. Where did your mom go to high school? Somewhere in NY. What’s a subject you would never major in? Mathematics. Is there someone who you can turn to for money and not be ashamed? No. I'm only EVER capable of doing so with Mom, but even then I don't like it. Have you ever swam in a river? Yeah, as a kiddo. I don't think I would now. What food do you love the smell of while it’s cooking? Cinnamon rolls omfggggg. What food do you hate the smell of uncooked? Fish, I guess? Has a bee ever stung you? Yes, once. Where did you last go camping? Never been. In what month do you start Christmas shopping? I can't Christmas shop considering I don't have an income. Have you ever slept in a bed with someone with bad BO? Yes. Do you have a favorite flavor at Baskin Robbins? No. Have you ever had a crush on a celebrity of the same sex? HUNNY Hannah Hart is a GODDESS godDAMN What kind of flowers would you plant in your garden? I'm too lazy for a garden. Do you believe that kids should be taught abstinence? I would definitely inform them of it being a completely valid and safest form of STD prevention, but I don't believe it should be what is "right." What's important is educating them on safe sex and to choose whom they're intimate with very carefully. I absolutely encourage them being taught what being "too young" means, too. Now what "too young" is can be argued, but let's be a late teen at least. When’s the last time you went to Chuck E. Cheese? Boy, I don't have a clue. What’s your favorite cheese or cheese flavored food? American. Cheese-flavored food is absolutely impossible to pick. Do you like black licorice? I hate licorice. Do you watch anything on the E! network? No. Have you ever tried out or thought of trying out for American Idol? Nope. Did you keep any momentos of high school dances? I had my... what's it called? The flower band on your wrist? Whatever, I had that for a long time. Do you still have clothes from your high school dances? I have both prom dresses. I'm probably gonna try to sell them this prom season though because I have absolutely no reason to keep them, and I'm poor lmao. Can you touch your nose with your tongue? No. Ever been to the original 13 colonies? I live in NC so like,,, Have you ever been to a concert that got out of control? Nope. Can you jump rope double dutch? I used to be able to as a kid. I loved jump rope. If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about anything, what would you want to know? Eek... idk. Actually, I might know. I want to know, but also don't, if whether or not how I treated Jason after the breakup was abusive or not. I've asked people in my life, old therapist included, if it was from what I told them (which was honest), and the unanimous answer has been no, that I was sick/actually insane and heartbroken beyond words, but yeah. I still wonder about it. Do you have a bucket list? If so, what are the top three things? Not really, but I mean of course there's things I wanna do, top two (idk about three) being to meet Mark and visit the KMP to photograph and pet the meerkats. Do you feel you had a happy childhood? For the most part, yeah. When did you last cry in front of another person? Last week when I was having a meltdown about school. How do you feel about tattoos and piercings? Explain. I LIVE!!!!!!!! FOR THEM!!!!!!!! As someone who never felt totally comfortable in her body, one thing that has always helped me has been new tats and piercings. It's like a more permanent form of make-up, you could say. All they've ever done is make me like a part of myself. Do you wear a lot of makeup? Why/why not? I almost never do unless I want to take a "pretty" picture. Talk about a song/band/lyric that has affected your life in some way. JINKIES!!!!!!! UHHHHHHH man that's hard 'cuz there's a whole whoppin' load. I guess I can talk about some lyrics from Ozzy's "Life Won't Wait" that used to make me really emotional back in the dark days: "Every day that you wait, you're falling faster / no sleight of hand, no twist of fate, no ever after / when it's gone - it's gone, a fight to the bitter end." Just that whole song used to sting so much when I felt like I really was just entirely wasting my life being sad every day. Just like... a lot of Ozzy's lyrics have really resonated and stuck with me. I still have the hardest time believing the Parkinson's news. God, life's cruel. Poison a legendary singer's voice. I hope, so long he feels truly capable, this concert still happens so I can actually hear and see him one time and literally sob and okay I'm getting emotional basically I Love Ozzy Osbourne. List the concerts you have been to and talk about how they make you feel. Ha, speaking of concerts. Only seen Alice Cooper, but it was aaaaaaamazing! Outside in a (mostly light) thunderstorm playing some classic good shit. It was a fun adventure, especially having my younger sis, a full-on redneck, come along just because she was bored and came for the ride. She was so, so, SO confused and creeped out and was NOT fucking happy when he brought his python on stage as he usually does. We were absolutely drenched when it was over; the ride home, we were freezing, and changing out of those soaked clothes was like a holy experience. Who in the world would you most like to receive a letter from and what would you want it to say? Jason telling me he forgives me and doesn't hate me. Do you have a desk/workspace and how is it organized/not organized? I don't, sadly. My bed is where I do like... everything, which I hate. I'd love to turn my sister's old room into like my "work" room, where I do homework, draw, etc., but I can't for a number of reasons. What is your night time routine? Go to the bathroom, take my meds, go to bed. Not very complicated. What’s one thing you don’t want your parents to know? Certain places I've "done things" oops. If you had to dye your hair how would you dye/style it and why? I wanna dye my hair lilac currently. I wouldn't change the style. What’s the worst thing you’ve ever done while drunk or high? N/A What’s one thing you would never do for one million dollars? Murder, to name just one. If you’re a boy, would you ever rock black nail polish? If you’re a girl, would you ever rock really really short hair? My hair is short now. What is the most important thing to you in your life right now? My mental health.

[stupidassdecisions]

Angels Fall Chapter 5 - A FP Jones X OC Fanfiction

The second day of classes flew by like the first, mostly just the teachers going over the syllabus and talking about our summer experiences. After school, Skye had gone to the clinic for a few hours, assisting the vet in an amputation. She was tired and hungry, and she had just gotten out of the shower when the time on the clock read 5:47. She quickly dressed and threw her hair into a ponytail, before grabbing her keys, yelling a quick goodbye to her dad who was in the basement, and hopped in her truck, heading for Pops.

She pulled up to the brightly lit diner, scanning the parking lot, looking for a particular vehicle, but it wasn’t there. She shook her head and walked into the diner where she was greeted by sweet old Pop Tate.

“Hello Miss Skye! You haven’t been in on your usual days for a while, I was getting worried”

“Sorry Pop, just got busy, and with everything that’s happened…”

“I was sorry to hear about your sister, how is she doing?”

“You know as much as I do Pop. Can I have my usual please?” Skye was eager to change the topic, her dysfunctional family was not something she was eager to discuss.

“Of course, I’ll bring it over. Good to see you Skye.”

Skye nodded in response and scanned the diner looking for Brookes familiar blonde head until she found her. Sitting in the booth right in front of Skye’s booth. Her booth. Her and FP’s booth. Where FP was sitting, alone, his head down focusing on something on the table. He was here. Why was he here? And why did the gods hate her so that Brooke chose the booth right in front of him?

Skye drew in a shaky breath before confidently walking towards Brooke before sitting down across from her. Brooke’s back was facing FP so that if she were not there, Skye would be facing him. She wished Brooke was bigger to hide herself from FP’s view, but Skye was not that lucky.

“Hey! Sorry I started without you, I was famished from practice.” In front of Brooke sat a half-eaten tray of fries and a burger. Brooke was on the track team, skinny as a pole but ate more than most guys.

“It’s fine, I got held up at the clinic and needed to shower first.” Skye replied, and as if it were instinct, FP raised his eyes to her face.

He hadn’t seen her in weeks, not that he was looking for her, this was the first time he had been to Pop’s since that night. He had been...busy. He wondered if she kept showing up this past month, waiting for him to show. She looked beautiful as he glanced over her. Wet hair in a ponytail, she did say she just showered after all. Suddenly FP had to pinch himself, cursing under his breath, as he thought of her in the shower...with him...her back against the shower wall, him pinning her small body as they pressed up against each other, just as he had a month ago when he had her pinned against her truck. He shook his head, trying to rid himself of these thoughts, he shouldn’t be thinking of her this way.

But when he looked up again, his eyes met hers, and it was as if they were the only ones in the diner, even though he could hear her friend speaking nonstop about who knows what. He needed to talk to her. He quickly stood, aware that Skye was watching his every move. As he passed her, he subtly nodded his head to the left, hoping she got the message, before paying for his meal and walking out the front door.

Brooke was telling Skye about this new transfer on the track team who was “the hottest thing she’d ever seen” and how she was planning on asking him to the dance this Friday, but Skye was only listening with half an ear, subtly moving her eyes, following FP’s movements. She quickly understood what his nod meant and interrupted Brookes monologue.

Skye looked at her phone and pretended that she was getting a call but her ringer was on silent. “Hey Brooke don’t want to interrupt cause I want to finish hearing about this guy but my mom’s calling me and if I don’t answer she’ll call the cops on me.”

“Shoo, go, don’t need you getting into trouble. I’ll be here.” “okay thanks! Just gonna take this outside, better service.”

Skye ducked outside, holding the phone to her ear to keep up the ploy, before disappearing around the side of the diner where she found FP leaning against the wall, a cigarette in his mouth.

“Those things will kill you, you know.” At her voice, FP whipped his head around to face her.

“A lot of things will kill you darlin, doesn’t mean things ain’t worth the risk” As he spoke, he took the cigarette and threw it on the ground, crushing it with his boot as she made her way over to him, stopping a few feet away, her hands on her hips, trying to look confident even though her breath was shaky and she had that nervous feeling in her throat.

“You wanted to see me? I can’t be gone long, I don’t want to leave Brooke hanging, she thinks I’m on the phone with my mom and..”

“I’m sorry” he blurted out. Skye was caught off guard.

“What?”

“I wanted to apologize for what happened a month ago.” He tried to cover up his outburst, but it only made Skye even more confused.

“Why are you sorry FP? I was the one who kissed you. It was just a heat of the moment thing, I read too much into things. It won’t happen again.” Skye was struggling to remain confident while her heart was being crushed. She hadn’t known how much she liked him until they had kissed and he walked away, hurting her in a new way. Now here he was, apologizing, a sign of obvious regret, and she was trying to keep her feelings inside.

“You’re easy to talk to Skye and the lines got blurred somewhere, and while you may have kissed me darlin, I let you and kept it going. If that phone hadn’t rang, where it might have gone, I don't know. I could be your father Skye, in fact we went to school together, and you, you are only a year older than Jug. It’s wrong and I feel like scum. You are a beautiful girl Skye, you have your whole life and a whole lot of guys who will fall at your feet. But I can’t be one of them.” Skye turned away from him as tears started forming in her eyes. She couldn’t let FP see her cry, all her feelings would be right there for him to see. Blinking her eyes fast to clear the tears from her eyes, she turned to face him again.

“I have to get back to Brooke. Thank you for the apology. I forgive you.” She stated coldly. As she started to walk away, she stopped and turned slowly. “Just so you know, FP, I don’t regret it.” And just like that she disappeared back around the corner, leaving FP alone to replay her last statement in his mind.

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