#and he said he's not cheap i said I AM

[nobodybetterlookatme]

Are you and your boyf doing anything for valentines day? 👀 You guys are my fav snzblr couple!

I don't think so lmao but we're hanging out rn so 😌

[batsplat]

ive rlly enjoyed reading ur aliens x tennis + vale x tennis posts and i was wondering if u wld be interested in describing what u think the tennis styles/career for some of the other riders on the grid? obvs im partial to all things pecco (and i think he has the neuroses a lot of tennis players also seem to have) buuttt i think something abt fabio evokes the inherent tragedy of the average men's tennis player, and bez for whatever reason feel tennis player-y to me sometimes (mayhaps its the mopey-ness because i can 11/10 picture him sitting at his bench w/ a towel over his head after flopping a match lol) or how luca's tennis is like in relation to vale, also because he plays tennis recreationally i think (motogp riders superior to f1 drivers solely for the fact that they play real tennis its factual) and he's kinda one of the few ppl on the grid who's height doesn't have to be edited in a tennis au lol. Jorge M idk how to describe it but he also kinda tennis player-y to me sometimes, maybe its the chip on the shoulder (he wld be a racket smasher wldnt he lol) or just anyone else on the current grid you wld be interesting in imagining a tennis!alt of.

had a vision

valentino whenever he's watching a current men's match

anyway. yeah this is another fun one! I've vaguely had thoughts about SOME of these before but not all the names you mention so. another neat mental exercise, let's go through them. adding pedro as my one bonus pick but cutting myself off there because this is long enough.... the ones I was thinking of after that ended up being too mean anyway

pecco: realised that pecco's career timeline actually maps onto pretty well onto a certain single slam player currently active on the atp tour, which isn't going to serve as inspiration as far as playstyle is concerned (lol) - or indeed level of success - but is useful orientation in terms of career progression. by atp star standards, pecco is a 'late bloomer'. he makes nextgen finals and has a reasonably promising if not spectacular early career, then spends a couple years in the wilderness - partly due to injury, partly just struggling to make his game work at tour level. the forehand is very much the standout shot, but it is also the most fragile and prone to collapse, to leaking errors. the backhand is underrated, a very compact shot that like... the aesthetes won't go crazy about, but crucially it's solid and he can pick quite big targets with it to consistently go after. dispositionally, he's a baseliner who would prefer to finish points from there - though valentino does not allow a single kid to pass through his academy without insisting they reach a level of 'competent' at minimum at the soft skills. pecco CAN slice, even though he doesn't do a lot of it. he's also capable of finishing points off at the net, though he'd prefer to do so really just when he's already very much on top of the point

pecco has another thing going for him - he's fast. raw foot speed is obviously a great asset to have at your disposal, and it's probably the single quality he's most similar to his mentor to. while his second serve can be a bit too easy to attack and is occasionally liable to confidence issues (not yips-level double faulting, more that it gets pushed in too much), he improves his serve a lot early in his career to become an increasingly adept spot server. it's not the biggest serve, but it's unfailingly precise and helps him execute his preferred point patterns on serve. paired with the high foot speed, he can generally find a good plus one shot after the serve. he generally favours quite a deep return position - and while his game on the whole is offence-oriented, his return strategy is quite conservative, with an emphasis on a high percentage of balls made to help him reset the point to neutral. the basic potential of his offensive game paired with an ability to move well anywhere make him a relatively surface agnostic player, even by modern standards. his ideal court speed is probably in the medium range, so perhaps a bit less suited to your monte carlo's or your wimbledon's (though the former is a way more pronounced weakness than the latter given grass plays slower these days) - but on his day, he can be successful anywhere

generally speaking, while he absolutely has favourite tournaments he performs particularly well at, he's very much a confidence player who can go on hot runs and long winning streaks. more in the positive sense than the negative one - he has a good floor level and doesn't generally suffer from massive absence in confidence, it's just that when it's on it's REALLY on. during those periods, a lot of his wins are crushingly dominant... he's an excellent frontrunner, and even when he encounters resistance from his opponents he can usually dismantle it. that being said, he is also prone to unexpected and rather spectacular collapses from winning positions, as well as the semi-regular shock early upset in a draw. it's just generally a bit of a mixed bag with him... he's perfectly capable of the sort of gritty exercise in perseverance five set win that does his mentor proud, but then he's also got the other stuff. a common fan joke is that you trust pecco more when he's down two sets to love than when he's leading by two sets and a break. the collapses tend to most commonly be linked to confidence in the forehand going away, plus a certain stubbornness over certain strategic components like return position - again, he's a perfectly capable tactician and usually a very cerebral player, but when his head goes it sure does go. valentino spends a lot of time espousing the virtues of winning ugly in his direction, hoping something will stick. absolutely got the neuroticism to be a tennis player, pecco does. definitely needs a good support system, otherwise tennis will very much drive him insane

fabio: hm. well. fabio. my working process with these is that I usually like to have an idea in my head about career progression and like,, how that would work in this fictional tennis context, because I don't really think style of play can be separated out well from that. usually my starting point for that is, unsurprisingly, the riders' actual careers. the problem with fabio is that for all I agree that he is dispositionally very tennis-y, there's two major inflection points of his career - 2019 and 2022 - that make said career so interesting, but also make no sense whatsoever outside of a motogp context. so to some extent he does lose some of that narrative juice in tennis,, but that doesn't mean he can't still make a plenty fun player. very tennis-y

the thing about fabio is that I reckon he would bring back racquet smashing in a big way. of the aliens, my sense is you can broadly divide them into two camps on the racquet-smashing axis - very unlikely to bin a racquet where cameras can see them (valentino, dani, marc) and definitely worked their way through a fair few on court (casey, jorge). given that dovi probably belongs to the first camp, at the very highest level racquet smashing has been a bit underrepresented for a few years. but fabio? oh yeah, he knows how to throw a good tantrum. he's an emotional player! he wears his heart on his sleeve and you can see pretty much every emotion known to man on his face over the course of your average tennis match. has probably yelled at his team a fair bit during matches!! fabio's career is catnip for tennis discourse. the fans who hate him when he has 'feelings' (dangerous thing in tennis circles), the hoards who absolutely adore him and are waiting for him to fulfil his potential way before he wins his first slam... the choking allegations, the mentally fragile allegations. but also the genuine outpouring of joy on his behalf in a lot of quarters when he finally clinches his first slam!! ('finally' in this context does still mean '21'.) the natural talent is obvious from the outset, but the epic highs and lows TM keep people coming back more more

in terms of playstyle, I reckon it's a lot of linear power. he has very smooth, flowing technique, very easy on the eye. one of those swings where it looks like all the body parts are working perfectly with each other. he's from that school of two-handed backhand players who are so adept at taking the ball from low to the ground that they don't really have much use for the slice as a defensive shot. his style incorporates a lot of high margin aggression - it's a power game but one that chooses big targets and doesn't involve a lot of mistakes. his ball has enough spin and height to make sense for clay - which, given where he's from, you'd imagine could get a lot of french people very excited indeed. maybe he chokes away the first covid roland garros but then returns for glory. plays pecco at some point and they have to cancel the curfew because the frenchies refuse to leave. while he does throw in some error-strewn performances early in his career, it's key for him to have confidence in his game; he can't get away with retreating into passivity, and that's what a lot of his coaching focuses on. he gets better at finding that balance. at his best, fabio has no major weaknesses and is both solid and dangerous off both wings, making him a bit of a nightmare to put away. the playbook against him increasingly involves getting him off the baseline, which can work - he's sometimes a little stiff getting forwards - but also has to be executed very well to be effective. he also becomes increasingly tough to unsettle within matches... forces opponents to become increasingly creative in their tactics to throw him off-balance. fun puzzle to try and figure out

bez: yeah, he makes sense as a tennis player. super confidence-dependent. needs a very good support group and coaching team to stave off the loneliness of tour life. I mean,, actually idk if he DOES make sense as a tennis player, I could easily imagine him being MISERABLE in that lifestyle. but well, when's that ever stopped anyone in the sport. hm... I'm about to give another player on this list a one-handed backhand, and I'm trying to figure out whether I feel like I'm exaggerating the ratio of 1hbh's at the top of men's tennis. but no,, I think I'm good. two out of the top twenty two doesn't sound unreasonable, and there's maybe... one other guy I'd consider giving a 1hbh, so hardly egregious. the thought process here is casey's whole schtick about how great bez would've been if they'd simply get rid of all those pesky electronics. given I'd previously already assigned casey a single hander (one that's actually good, tbc), 'outdated elements of the game' do unfortunately make me think of that specific shot. bez has an extreme eastern grip on his backhand, where the racquet face is more closed and tends to involve a higher spin load on the ball. he avoids the most obvious pitfalls like a tendency to struggle with higher balls or a tendency to produce a lot of mishits - but it comes at the expense of power at that wing. he's also not particularly good at flattening the ball out or redirecting. which actually makes it a very strong rally ball, albeit one that still has a propensity to get bullied by serves - it's just as a complete package, it's not the ideal shot for the modern game

the forehand is also a bit of a throwback, but in a good way. it's not a noisy motion, the wrist is extended and the racquet face held high at takeback, allowing for a clean swing that generates power quite nicely. given the eastern grip on this wing, it makes bez one of the rare players who has more spin on his backhand than forehand. the serve, like that of bez's hero for most of his career, has a platform stance - far from unusual, though a little more uncommon than pinpoint. taken together, it gives bez quite a distinctive style on court... one that is also immediately very appealing to journalists and tennis commentators, who are taken by both the distinctive appearance and a game that reminds them of players they grew up watching. nostalgia-core. it is also theoretically a game that has all the basic building blocks to be very successful. bez has plenty of natural ability and a sort of instinctive grasp for the game that is tough to teach. he has the hand skills that for a while there make him look like the most likely heir to valentino's throne of the academy kids - though he has always been more aggressively minded and wants to dictate points with his forehand. it's a very liberated, fun type of play. throwing himself into balls with his whole body, lovely reactive brakes both in his footwork and in his groundstrokes. there are weaknesses to be exploited - especially in his capacity to generate offence and redirect off the backhand, allowing the most skilled players to pin him in that corner and prevent him from using his preferred pattern of running around the backhand to hit an inside out forehand. but the potential is all there, plenty obvious to see

there's plenty of talk in sports about athletes going to 'dark places' - a point that exists beyond natural limits and a certain pain threshold (whether physical or solely psychological), to allow oneself to fully sink into the suffering if that's what it takes to win. the basic idea is that to compete at the very highest level, you need to relinquish various defence mechanisms. to try to the fullest extent and fail nevertheless is inherently humiliating - but if you're too worried about what it'd be like to surrender yourself so completely to the effort and still come up short, then inevitably you cannot push past that limit. again, this is not a concept unique to tennis, but it sure is one relevant to this sport. and it's pretty obvious, even from the outside, that some athletes are more capable of accessing those dark places within themselves than others. some can even revel in the pain (again, physical or psychological), to a certain extent anyway. the most obvious example of that kind of character from the blokes featured in this post is... I mean. it's pecco. obviously it's pecco. I suspect bez exists a little bit too far on the other end of the spectrum, where he doesn't have the same level of comfort with his own suffering. tennis matches when everything is flowing smoothly are lots of fun, but champions need to find a way to win even on their bad days. for a while, bez is flying high, a mixture of glorious runs and valiant defeats that could certainly propel him to a few masters titles. but if the confidence in his game is ever seriously shaken... it could stay shaken. pecco may have choked a few leads away in his time, but he also possesses a near-unrivalled ability to pick himself up immediately afterwards and go again. bez is far more susceptible to downward spirals, which can be lethal in tennis. still needs to prove if he can adapt his game enough to break himself out of that kind of a spiral

luca: sometimes you look at a man and just go 'one-handed backhand'. idk if he has a single hander irl, I don't really care, his tennis pro version would. if luca had been born a decade later, this is probably something his brother would have discouraged, but in the noughties... nah. also, I've given two of valentino's five major rivals (sete and casey) one handed backhands, and for casey at least it's a major weapon. so. a lot of luca's formative memories are watching his older brother win slams and masters and atp finals, sometimes in-person, often on tv. but... idk, it feels right somehow that he ends up with a noticeably different style than his brother. a case of being inspired by valentino but not copying everything about him, also wanting to set himself apart a bit. the backhand is obviously the most easily visible expression of that, but it extends beyond that. luca's whole game is geared towards offence, to figuring out how to use his weapons to finish points off quickly. the forehand is flat and penetrating, the serve designed to create easy plus one putaways. luca's favourite surface to watch growing up is grass, so he does take valentino's slice and volley lessons very seriously. my general rule when trying to imagine a rider's game is to like... add about 15 cm to their height to keep them in similar proportions to each other - except with valentino, who doesn't play like someone that tall. if you did that with luca, you'd be taking him right into servebot territory, which... well... 199 cm by today's standards isn't CRAZY so... yeah sure, why not. it kinda naturally pushes him to a serve-oriented game that prioritises power over movement. (ofc not to the extent of tall men in the past, obviously by now there are several prominent examples of men of that height who are excellent movers.) make serve and volley happen again

given luca's age and because it'd be pleasing to me personally, I imagine a fair bit of valentino's input in helping luca develop his backhand boils down to 'go copy what stoner is doing'. this means luca ends up with a perfectly good backhand - not an extreme grip, compact takeback, heavy on hip rotation and doesn't really use the non-dominant arm as a counterweight. straight arm. it produces quite flat tennis on both wings, and for all that luca was also raised on clay and is perfectly competent at moving on the surface, grass is clearly his best surface. which is a bit of a shame because there's really not much going on with that surface beyond wimbledon. luca's style is a relatively extreme form of first strike tennis, played by somebody completely cognisant of that style's limitations but is attempting to maximise his chances with what he has at his disposal. he's a real student of the game, a proper tennis nerd, the type to make journalists want to propose to him in every other presser. (gets asked to oddly many pressers given his ranking.) for all that he's a top 20-30 staple, I imagine he'd also be invited to do some commentary work... analysis on tennis channel or italian broadcasts, that kind of thing - which he'd be wary of doing too much of, but essentially he'd be welcome any time. not always easy to escape his brother's considerable shadow, and he does get tired of being asked about him, but after a certain point he's mostly allowed to be his own guy. for all that he has his own ambitions and really is incredibly diligent in working on his own game, everybody already agrees he'll make a fantastic coach/commentator/coach + commentator when he retires

jorge m: oh hey, another racquet smasher! jorge probably smashes racquets when he WINS. very fired up type of guy, basically never needs time to work his way into matches. his tennis is THERE from the very first point. sometimes it's there in a very baseball-y aim-for-the-back-fence type of way, but it sure is there. in terms of sheer pace, jorge has the biggest forehand of anyone on this list. it also has a lethal amount of spin. just a lovely, loose explosive shot, a lot of work with that wrist. even by motogp standards, he's on the shorter side - which we're keeping for his tennis version (just plus 15 cm), making him naturally more suited to returning over serving. I'm pro emphasising his similarities with pecco, so I think he should also be particularly high on raw foot speed. looks quite different from pecco doing it, despite his height really goes in for big lunging steps and makes use of his considerable flexibility - he's really fun to watch with his athleticism and dogged determination to hunt down balls. compact backhand good at digging out balls, also not much use for slices. his ability to hit acute angles off both wings while moving is a particular strength and compliments his ability to generate pace from the centre of the court to make him an all-round offensive powerhouse. his volleys are... okay, but also don't necessarily go beyond that, and his transition game can be a bit lacking when it goes beyond 'big forehand go boom into the corner'. in general, he's the type of player who doesn't philosophically agree with the concept of 'defending', and would prefer to attack pretty much every ball from every position. sometimes, it's to his advantage - when he's chasing after balls and just instinctively using the opponent's pace and angle against them, there's less opportunity for the kind of over-exuberance that acquaints balls with the back fence

given his high proficiency at returning and his relative serving weakness (not super pronounced, it's just not the biggest weapon you'll find on tour), a lot of his offence is taking place from relatively neutral positions. this diminishes the margin in his matches - he's perfectly capable of involving himself in matches with lopsided scorelines in either direction. if the weapons are firing, great, if they're misfiring, he doesn't really have free points on serve to bail him out. it gets him a reputation for being a temperamental hot-and-cold player that is... true to some extent, but also maybe not entirely fair. early in his time on the main tour, he gets some big breakout results, before he sustains a career-threatening injury that he does well to bounce back from. it takes him a while to figure out how to reliably win with his game, to maybe get a slightly better sense of risk management within points and within matches. how to manage the rhythms of a match. gets better at learning to extend a rally and actually make better use of that speed - both him and pecco are at times susceptible to a sort of 'they bash you bash harder' mindset, but he has learned to reign it back a bit. maybe even learns how to integrate a teensy bit more variety into his game, gets better at taking out pace from his shots to construct rallies better. work up to his finishing shot rather than bashing until he gets one past his opponent. still a hothead!! and, yup, chip on the shoulder. the type of guy who gets het up about court assignments. bad line calls. his team not giving him adequate support. shitty balls. the weather. the roof. sometimes it's better for him to let out his emotions and have a little tantrum, rather than bottle it all up and stew on it - can be preferable to get it out of his system so he can then move on and keep playing well. for all that he has a temper, he also has a real capacity to deal with adversity. a work in progress, but he sure does keep working

bonus - pedro: counterpunching is back baby. it's good again. awoouuu (wolf howl). all the non-valentino aliens are way more offensively-minded than valentino was - so with the exception of dovi, the pusher-representation on the tour has been a bit lacking. pedro is not a pusher and he does have a fair bit loose, natural power... but his main strengths are explosive lateral movement and a backhand to die for. he also has more... bits to his game, layers, than some of the other players who have come through in recent years. he's quite natural with the slice and can hit a dropshot and takes a pro-volleying stance to his tennis. AND he's very amenable to flexible tactics. the kind of kid who will play one game as a pusher, realise it's not working, and then suddenly switch to bashing. he's got an ability to... play feasible rally shots from any position, like if he's sliding or if he's just reaching for a ball, he has this ability to flick his wrists and twist his hips to somehow dig the ball out. he's clever, very much a student of the game, and WANTS to use the full toolkit to dismantle his opponents. to take them on at their own game and beat them. however, he is still in the 'too many options' stage of development where he has all this Stuff at his disposal and needs to figure out what to do with it. an ability to both grind it out and be offensive will do him good in the long run, but he still needs to figure out when to do what and how to switch from one to the other within rallies

energetic on court, very much a Character who wants to involve the crowd. not necessarily in a nasty way, though he's not opposed to a bit of needle. tends to come across as quite cool and composed in the face of pressure, though it shows when he wants to do too much. another bloke who's more of a natural returner than server. maybe partly because the serve is..... temperamental right now. he can mix up the spins quite nicely, just the reliability and precision that's all over the place. the return strategy can also get a bit questionable, but the basic technical elements are all there. and a chipped return!! it exists!! very high rally tolerance, excellent balance that allows him to slide into balls and consistently recover well. a real deft touch for deceleration, both in terms of his literal movement and the shots he plays, how he's able to both absorb and inject pace at will. and, crucially, he brings with him a real willingness to grind it out. to win by gradually working the ball out of the opponent's range, or by waiting until they make a mistake. problem solve. again, it's the point construction where things are a bit wonky... the building blocks are all there, so. he'll get there

[jasontoddsno1simp]

It's infinitely humorous to me how, in 2025, we're still having conversations and discussions - discoursing, as the children say - about why Jason's on screen death matters more than any of the other on screen deaths within the Bat comics.

A Death in the Family was the end of the road for Jason. He was meant to die and stay dead. This is rare for comic book characters because the medium is serialization taken to its (il)logical extreme. Removing a character from the chess board is a waste. There's always something Deeper^TM.

Not with Jason.

That bitch was dead and he was supposed to stay dead.

The only other Robin who died and was meant to stay dead was Stephanie. And let's be fucking real here - most of you do not care about that girl. You're not thinking about her, you're thinking of your favorite Batboy. And that's fine!! But let's not kid ourselves here.

There's a million reasons why Jason's death is a cut above most other deaths in the Batfam that we can discourse endlessly about but the main one - the one that truly matters, imo - is that he died was supposed to stay that way.

A Death in the Family was supposed to be his curtain call. It is not cruel or callous to say that that was not the case for your Blorbo.

I can imagine that some JT stans are being cruel and callous when they say that, but then again, a lot of Batstans are being cruel and callous when they say Jason's death wasn't that big a deal and he needs to get over it. They're being cruel and callous when they compare their faves' on screen death to his, as if they werent gonna get their fave character back within six months to a year, tops. That their fave wasn't gonna slot their way back into their spot in the narrative, as if they never left.

And, if I may,.it's honestly fucked up to high heavens that some of y'all are okay with the writers killing off your fave for cheap character drama just so you can lord it over JT stans. I know most of y'all don't think of it that way, but how else am I supposed to see that?! You talk about a potentially traumatizing event as if it's just some kind of Gotcha you can use to shut up people you don't like.

Friend, that's fucked.

Anyway, I've said what I needed to say. I don't expect y'all to care for my Blorbo the way I do cause that's not how that works. But can we exercise the baring hints of critical thinking?!

I'm begging.

[britneyshakespeare]

you: nicholas alexander chavez, the actor from ryan murphy's recent work

me, a mama's girl and daytime tv viewer:

[askewhammer]

im pining for ed hardy and southpole 21 couture again good god this wouldnt have happened if my father didnt wear those hard ass aflliction tees when I was born and gave me his southpole 21 collection like fuuucck me dude I'm forever stuck dressing up as a loser from the 2000s what the helllllll

[grandmafc]

MINA 😭

[arts-i-enjoy]

AHHHHHH

[eightw]

a couple of weeks ago my grandma was taking in her sewing machine to be oiled by this guy she used to live near who fixed sewing machines as a side hobby/hustle, and she offered to take in my broken machine as well. i'd been avoiding taking it to this guy (because why would i take my machine to a random old man who isn't even running a real buisness??) but i was like meh my grandma can drop it off, either he'll fix it or he'll tell me he can't do it and i'll get it back without talking to him and take it to a real shop like i've been putting off, i guess that sounds fine.

so she took it in and apparently a piece was broken on my machine (which used to be my mum's btw, it was a gift from my grandma that she took back when my mum died bc i was too young to use it), and he couldn't order the piece, so he couldn't fix it. but i was like that's fine, it's just some random old guy, i'll try looking for the piece it take it into an actual shop.

and then my grandma told him he could have it for spare parts.

i got the new broken to me fifteen minutes ago, when she said "and he asked if he could have it for parts because he wanted one of the pieces and he'd waive the cost of my oiling and i said sure, and bought you a cheap one from walmart".

[yourbleedingh3art]

Read at open mic night tonight

[ultimateaclrecovery]

I am trying to figure out what to get my bf for his birthday. And I am especially struggling because I feel like he got me something really nice for my birthday (a full purple stone dishware set that is like 135 dollars (I looked it up because I have no impulse control he did not leave the price tag on) which was sweet because I previously only had plastic plates and obviously everything I own needs to be purple). But the only things I can think of for him are like little cheap things. I want to get him something nice but like anything nice that he would enjoy I feel like he’d be better off getting himself. Like he knows more about nice cookware than me so I feel like I have no way to pick out something that he’d like and use. And than anything with clothes feels out because sizing is hard and I don’t understand mens fashion. I thought like maybe a nice a wallet? But he has one that seems fun and idk how to evaluate wallets anyway.

I am knitting him a hat that he’ll hopefully like because he does wear that style beanie while hiking and camping sometimes.

And then I am thinking of getting him the conjuring 2 dvd because we watched the first one together and the second is available for streaming. And I keep protesting that it’s too scary for me ( I would not watch it single but it’d be fine for his birthday)

And then I was thinking maybe some sort of Japanese cookbook since he likes to cook and is currently obsessed with japan since we’re going in three weeks. There’s a cookbook by jiro ono on sushi that we watched his documentary together, but I’m not sure if he’s already read it. And then there’s a studio ghibli book that would be cute since we watched a lot of the movies together and will probably go to museum in Japan. But I’m not sure how much he really likes them, or if it’s more he likes them fine and it’s the narrow overlap of movies we both like.

And even then it’s like I’m getting him a bunch of little things and it feels like I’m being cheap but I also just can’t think of anything better. He likes cooking and outdoor things and horror movies and currently Japan but generally all things Asian. He likes good art and books but none of those interests making for easy shopping ideas! He seem doesn’t have any horror based decor so I probably can’t even go that route

I also need to get my mom a birthday present but she is much less stressful to shop for. (I don’t know what to get her either but there’s zero danger of even worlds worst present damaging my relationship with my mom even the slightest)

[stuck-in-the-ghost-zone]

i want to compile a list of horror media that people need to watch before they call genloss groundbreaking incredible material. like yall are soooo so deeply entrenched in copium toting this thing around like its the best piece of horror media in the world when like. theres no horror. there has literally been no horror. how are we watching the same thing. go watch gemini home entertainment or marble hornets or daisy brown or unedited footage of a bear or this house has people in it and then come back to me. dont fucking talk to me until youve consumed some horror media thats actually good first!!!!!!!!

[someidioticurl]

You can also say you already have something like that.

Free survey? You had this checked already about 2 months ago.

New phone plan? You already have one that meets all your needs for a low low price.

Car insurance? Nah, your friend has 5 cars and let's you borrow any whenever you want.

You can lie or colour up the reality as much as you want with them.

Ive said this before but swear the biggest skill to learn as an adult is how to resist high-pressure sales tactics. You do NOT have to answer questions with anything other than "Sorry I'm not interested." No matter how nice they are or no matter how many follow up questions they ask or even how agitated they get when you stand your ground. Just keep saying I'm not interested. Don't answer their questions. Don't give them an opening to try to push back on your reasons. Be a fucking brick wall of I'm not interested.

[britneyshakespeare]

you know what i realized

is giving

[sad--tree]

hey. what amount of $$$ are ppl giving for weddings these days? specifically, the wedding of an immediate family member.....

[ratstuckinamarble]

I- if you gave me a good quality drill, some nice noise cancelling headphones and a wall I may go ham on...

I will drill so many holes. It is so unbelievably fun I wish I could just do that whenever I feel like it who cares about actually hanging anything up.

5 am is the best time to get the drill out and hang stuff up because it's when the walls are at their softest

[hardknifeplays]

Simon Riley spoiling his missus rotten.

sfw, fluff, soft!simon — reblogs & likes are appreciated.

This man, Simon Riley, will never let you buy cheap things. Even if the thing you want is good quality and highly functional, and buying it really helps you to 'press down the cost'.

"No," said the man quickly when you want to buy an affordable reading tablet, his eyes are still fixated on whatever document was on his laptop screen. Confused, you raised your brow while your hands folded on your chest. "Babe, I'm just using it for reading. That's all, nothing productivity-related." you explained more, but your husband just answered you with another low hum.

"Said no," he repeated flatly. Not knowing why did he just outright denied you of the decent tablet, you sat yourself down carefully on the edge of the table next to his laptop. "But why? I will use it just for reading, I repeat, my sir, just for reading. I'm not going to play games, or even text via the tablet. It is affordable enough." you argued, your hands moving around so expressively (mostly to convince him to agree with you).

Finally, his eyes darted and met yours lazily. He studied you from your head to your torso, then back to your eyes, before letting out a long exhale.

"You don't deserve cheap things," he sighed. You rolled your eyes, and quickly responded, "It's not cheap, Si, it's affordable. Why do I have to buy more expensive things if the cheaper ones are well-functioned already? Especially just for one purpose?" and you could see he responded by wiping his face with both of his hands, before he stood up from his seat and placing himself in front of you.

His swift movement made you looked up at him, the distance between your bodies was almost non-existent and you could feel his warmth radiating towards you. A fucking human furnace, this Manchester lad. He looked at you in the eyes, this time his brows down, looking rather concerned. He lifted his finger outlined your jaw lightly, his eyes trained on your lips before his dark brown iris shot you again with a more loving and gentle expression.

"Why are you always treating yourself this way? Denying yourself from something that you truly deserved," he began, "You don't deserve cheap things, mama. I can afford your every need." as he said so, his lips met yours softly, and you felt his finger tucked some strands of your hair to the back of your ears.

When he let go of the kiss, you returned him a kiss on each cheek. "I don't always need expensive things, Simon. As long as it works well, that would be enough. We can use the money for something else. Okay?" you reassured him once again. His eyes aimed down at the table for a few seconds, before getting back to you.

"You don't always need it, but I am willing to give it to you," he stated, staring right into your eyes for a few seconds longer.

You could feel your blood flushing all over your body, spreading tingling and warm sensation just by seeing the seriousness in his eyes. It made you feel cared for, and you know at this moment that this man would always give what's best for you. Your 'enough' would never convince him, if he could go further for you, he would.

He always would.

You let out a shaky sigh, and then you placed your finger on his chest pointing at him. "Okay, your money, your rules." you chirped playfully, and a grin bloomed at the lips of your husband as he scooped you from the table and pulled you into his embrace.

"That's my missus." he smiled into your hair, finally winning you over.