#and he needs to be crash coursed on every historical event that has happened to this day. merlin probably has a spell for that itsfine

[chai-en-kaadhale]

ok but lowkey there is no way merlin went that long from the end of the show to arthurs return just waiting for him

thats would be so fucking boring i mean imagine what a warlock could get up to in that much time. like he could travel the world, live 3000 different lives bring back freya and chill with her

he could come up with a million different spells to solve every problem ever he could be a warlock who gets his groceries in italy then goes for a walk in canada and then comes back in time for a nice welsh dinner or wtv

like ykw. end of merlin, modern-day emrys was not sighing over arthur. 700 years ago he lived as a kyrgyztani woman or something and he has descendants and one of them found him and shes currently getting up to some shit with her slightly uncontrolled warlock powers.

that is not an arthur sigh that is a psychic "shit my great great great great to the power of 69 granddaughter is pulling something again isnt she i can feel it" sigh

[inthedayswhenlandswerefew]

We Were Something, Don’t You Think So? [Chapter 2: The Middle Of Nowhere]

You are a Russian Grand Duchess in a time of revolution. Ben Hardy is a British government official tasked with smuggling you across Europe. You hate each other.

This is a work of fiction loosely inspired by the events of the Russian Revolution (1917-1923) and the downfall of the Romanov family. Many creative liberties were taken. No offense is meant to any actual people. Thank you for reading! :)

Song inspiration: “the 1” by Taylor Swift.

Chapter warnings: Lots of shouting, if you never learned about the Russian Revolution then here's your mini crash course, references to historical stuff like violence and disease, Kroshka the mule emerges as the only emotionally stable character.

Word count: 4.1k.

Link to chapter list (and all my writing): HERE.

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I wake up feeling harder, as if sleeping on the ground with all its stones and cool indifference has taught my spine to straighten, to endure. This is a welcome revelation. I will need to be resilient, for my family and for myself. I also wake determined to set things right with my rescuer. I am a perfectly charming person, Mother and Papa have always said so; I’m not painfully shy like Olga, or aloof like Tati, or rather dull like Maria, and I certainly don’t run around putting frogs in people’s shoes like Anastasia. I make for excellent company. Surely Ben will realize this and we will become inseparable travel companions.

Outside in the overcast brisk morning air, Ben is already busy tacking the mule. He glances over and tosses me an apple. It bounces out of my floundering hands and rolls off into the woods. This is not an auspicious start to the day.

“You’ll still have to eat that,” Ben says. “There’s no extra food. I was only able to ask for as much as I could justify needing myself.”

“Right.” I go fetch the apple—rummaging around in leaves and sticks and shrubs—and take a bite, even though it’s bruised and definitely tastes like dirt. I beam at Ben triumphantly. I am tough! I am daring! I am enchanting! I can pull my own weight on this journey!

Ben doesn’t seem to notice. He pats the mule’s thick brown neck and smiles fondly at her. “How are we feeling this morning, Kroshka? Hmm? Who’s a lovely mule? Who’s going to take us all the way to the Trans-Siberian Railroad without even one measly word of complaint? That’s right, you are! Yes you are!” He lands a smacking kiss on the velvety grey fur of her muzzle.

I attempt polite conversation; more than that, I endeavor to learn about my dashing yet evasive rescuer. “So, tell me Ben, have you worked for Sir Buchanan long?”

“Four years,” Ben replies curtly.

“And you are…” I think of his notebook. “A…writer of some sort for him…?”

“I’m his press attaché.”

“Ah.” I recognize the French word for ‘attach,’ but not its meaning in the context of employment with an ambassador. “I can’t say I know what that entails.”

“I handle Sir Buchanan’s relations with the Russian newspapers. Drafting statements and briefing him on local opinions and the like. And since his health has declined, I find myself delivering some of his particularly confidential correspondence.”

“Oh, I see. And he could spare you for this mission? It seems like a burden that would be better carried by a man with military or exploratory experience.”

“My Russian is passable. And I can tolerate rougher conditions than most.” He points to a pile of clothes he’s laid out on a tree stump. “Those are for you. There’s a stream out that way.” He flicks a thumb towards the east. “Get ready however you need to, but be prepared to leave in fifteen minutes.”

I examine the clothing: plain and practical undergarments, a heavy wool sweater, stockings, boots, and something unexpected. I hold them up with clammy hands. “These are…” I swallow noisily. “Trousers.”

“Yes. They’re travel attire. Comfortable and easy to maneuver in if we need to move quickly.”

“I’ve never worn trousers before.”

“I thought you were amenable to a…a…what did you call it? An adventure. A grand adventure.” He says this melodramatically, like there’s some humor in it. Like he’s mocking me.

“I suppose I am,” I mutter, still scrutinizing the trousers.

“Fifteen minutes,” Ben reminds me sternly. Then he begins to disassemble the tent.

I trudge off through the woods until I find the stream. I clean myself with ice-cold water, drink it down until my teeth ache, change out of my nightgown and into these strange new clothes—Trousers! Mother would lock me in church for a month!—and gaze up into the cloudy, pastel blue sky that peeks between the fingers of the trees. It is very still here, and cold, and deathly quiet. I try to remember the last time I was truly alone, without Mother or Papa or my siblings or servants or guards within shouting distance. There is none that I can remember; perhaps there is none at all. Out here in the Siberian wilderness I feel unmoored from civilization, diminutive, vulnerable, peculiarly inconsequential. I decide I don’t like being alone. By the time I return to our campsite, Ben is ready and waiting beside the loaded cart. His right hand is resting on a clunky metal monster with ‘Olivetti’ written on it.

“I’m a press attaché,” he says with a mischievous grin. “And you’re a typist.”

“A what?”

“You work for Sir Buchanan’s office as a typist. That’s our story, anyway. You came along to assist me during my audience with the former tsar, and now we’re traveling back to Sir Buchanan’s headquarters in Saint Petersburg. So if anyone happens to ask, that’s what you are to tell them. Oh, and you’re British. Your English sounds clean enough.”

“Alright,” I reply, still gaping at the metal monster like a black box with gnashing fangs. “But what is that?”

Ben’s jaw falls open. “You don’t…?” Then he rubs his forehead, sighing deeply. “Jesus Christ. You’ve never used a typewriter. Of course you haven’t. Great. Fantastic.”

“We always write by hand. My penmanship is flawless, Mother saw to that.” She’s still battling with Anastasia, but that’s a war that may go on as long as the one between the sun and the moon.

“Okay. Okay. This works out, actually. Because I’m not going to entertain you all day. So here is your assignment.” Ben slaps the back of what he tells me is a typewriter, and then waves for me to come closer. He reaches into the pocket of his coat and produces a British passport. Every line is filled out except for the name. He slides the paper into the machine and makes some bewildering adjustments. “So, you insert the paper, set the carriage—that’s this roller-type piece here—and type.” He taps forcefully on the keys until two words appear in the blank reserved for the passport holder’s name: Lana Brinkley.

“That’s me?” I ask doubtfully.

Ben smirks, amused. “That’s you.”

“So you could have given me a better name if you wanted to!”

“But then how would you learn humility?” He removes the fraudulent passport, shakes the paper until it dries, folds it into a neat little square, and slips it back into his coat pocket. “If you’re typing a longer message, the typewriter will ding when you’ve reached the end of each line. Then you use the lever to move the paper down, reset the carriage, and resume typing.”

I nod, but without much confidence. This seems complicated.

“You said you wanted a carriage,” Ben teases.

“Yes, one with magnificent draft horses and velvet seats and preferably no less than two servants. Not…whatever that is.”

“Well, if you’re going to pass for a typist, I’m afraid you must learn to type.” He finds me a stack of blank paper in his collection of bags and trunks, and then climbs into the front of the cart as I get into the back. The trousers, I hate to admit to myself, do make it easier to move around, although I’m not sure I approve of how much they accentuate the shape of my body. The thought of Ben looking at me in them gives me a plunging sort of feeling that is half-mortification and half-thrill…not that he has exhibited any interest at all. “Before we go any farther, do you have anything with you that I don’t know about?”

He means things like the heirlooms I have squirreled away in the large steamer trunk: the jewels sewn into my dress, the photograph. I can sense that he wouldn’t want me to have them, although I’m not sure why. In any case, I have no intention of giving them up. The jewels are the only thing of value that I have to trade if we find ourselves in a desperate situation. The photograph is the only string left that connects me back to my family, my home. “No,” I reply primly.

“Good.” He whistles at the mule and she tugs us through the trees and out onto the dirt road that leads, eventually, to the train station. As we ride joltingly along, the creaky cart wheels bumping over every rock and mound and muddy trough, I practice my typing: very slowly at first, and with only my index fingers. I read aloud as I go, gradually picking up speed.

“There once was a German princess born in the Duchy of Hesse. She was very beautiful but very shy. She had a wonderful talent for playing piano, but would run and hide if anyone asked her to perform in public. One day, when she was attending the wedding of her sister, the princess met a prince from a distant kingdom. They were only children, but they instantly knew they had found true love. They snuck off together and carved their names into a window pane. Over the years, each conspired to marry the other. They refused many suitors and wrote each other hundreds of letters. His family did not approve of the princess’s religion and lack of charisma; her family did not approve of the prince’s distant and troubled nation. But at last it became apparent to all that no earthly forces could keep the couple apart. Ten years after their first meeting, the prince and princess were finally married. And they lived joyously and peacefully in each other’s service for the rest of their days.”

Ben lights one of his hand-rolled cigarettes. The smoke doesn’t bother me; on the contrary, it reminds me of Papa smoking his pipe in his study, in the garden, as he read to us by the fireplace, as he danced with Mother in ballrooms back when she could still dance. It reminds me of home. “I’m not sure if you’ll ever give Shakespeare a run for his money, but I’ll admit I’m marginally entertained.”

I smile to myself, sentimental warmth rising in my face. “It’s Papa and Mother’s story.”

“Huh. I didn’t know your people were allowed to marry for love.”

By ‘your people,’ he seems to mean royalty, and there is some derision in his deep voice. “Well, surely duty must come first. But when love can accompany it, that’s a happy coincidence.”

“And what if duty compels you to marry a man who is, say, cruel? Or dreadfully boring? Or in love with another woman? Or who closely resembles a mole-rat?”

I resume my typing with a new exercise. For each letter of the alphabet, I type a French word that begins with it. “I don’t think that sort of thing happens very often.”

“But if it did.”

I shrug, not especially enjoying this topic of discussion. “Then duty comes first, as I said. But I believe most royal couples are perfectly content. At least nine out of every ten.”

“That many!” Ben marvels sarcastically. “Have you ever considered that your own personal experience, as pleasant as it may be, could be coloring your perception of how the world works?”

I ignore him and continue my typing. Attaché for A, bisou for B, croissant for C, doux for D…

After a moment, Ben says: “You aren’t going to regale me with another fairytale? I’m devastated.”

“I’m busy practicing my French now. Please don’t intrude.”

“You speak French as well as Russian and English?” He sounds impressed; for a split second anyway, just long enough for me to catch it like a firefly in my fist.

“And Italian, and Latin. And I’ve just started on Japanese.”

“But no German? That seems like it would be an easier beast to slay.”

“I’ve always purposefully avoided learning it, even though Mother’s family is German. I never envisioned myself marrying a German. I figured Maria could take that bullet. She doesn’t care, she’d marry anyone who could give her a castle and ten babies and a bulldog or two. I would say she was a milkmaid in a past life, but Mother’s heart would stop dead if she thought I subscribed to reincarnation.”

“Not fond of Germans?” Ben asks. “Well, who can blame you. Half the world isn’t fond of them at the moment.”

“I suppose they weren’t so awful before the Great War. But they’re rather boorish, aren’t they? They always sound like they’re angry. Like someone just stole their horse and they’re screaming at them from the front porch to come back or else.” I smile dreamily as I type. “I’ve always fancied the thought of marrying a prince from a glamorous, romantic kingdom. Maybe Italy or Greece. There has even been talk of me marrying Uncle George’s eldest son David. He’s rather beguiling. Tall and slim. Clear blue eyes like a lake. And he’s going to be the king of the British Empire one day, you know. We could holiday together in beautiful, sunny colonies like the Bahamas.”

“You’re still as important as all that? Important enough to make a marriage of that political significance, I mean.” Ben glances back at me and lifts one thick, dark, inquisitive eyebrow. “Seeing as your family doesn’t have a kingdom anymore.”

This is an insensitive thing for him to say. I frown down at the typewriter. “A wife almost always assumes the kingdom of her husband, so why should she require her own? She needs only sound breeding and a suitable temperament. And besides, we might yet return one day.”

Ben twists all the way around to stare at me, the reigns falling out of his hands. Fortunately, the mule seems to know her own way around. “I’m sorry, what?”

“It has been a brutal few years. The Great War, the supply shortages, the bad harvests…the people are frustrated, and understandably so. They lashed out blindly, at those who didn’t deserve it, at us. But the dust will clear. And when it does, I think the Russian people will come to their senses and realize that they want us back. That they need us.”

“Are you insane?” Ben snaps. “Are you utterly brainless? What’s floating around in that skull besides fiction and languages you’ll never use once you’re married off to some prince who only sees you as a broodmare?”

“How dare you! You can’t speak to me like this—!”

“For years, for a bloody decade, Sir Buchanan warned your father about what was coming. He tried to get him to moderate his views, to give the people more voice in government, to stop murdering them when they protested. And when none of that worked and the end was apparent, Sir Buchanan tried to convince your father to abdicate long before he did. Don’t you understand?! None of this needed to happen! Your family could have fled to Britain years ago, before the animosity against your father spread like wildfire across the globe, and Russia could have established their own parliament like Britain’s and negotiated a peace treaty to stay out of the war and none of us would be here now if not for your father’s selfish, pointless obstinacy—!”

“My father is a good man,” I choke out as hot, furious tears burn in my eyes.

“And he was a terrible ruler!” Ben shoots back like artillery. “He ordered protesters to be butchered, he sent untrained boys to die in some other country’s war, he clung to the throne for no one’s benefit but his own—”

“And what about my benefit?” I demand, still weeping, feeling monstrously like a child. “What about my mother’s and my sisters’ and Alexei’s? He must have feared for our futures if we were dethroned and left without any resources, any security, anyplace to call home—”

“He did you no favors,” Ben says harshly. “Half the country—the country that you obviously have not even a rudimentary understanding of—are moderates scrambling to secure the Provisional Government and disentangle themselves from the war while still somehow preserving their dignity and that of the millions of dead soldiers Russia has already laid on the altar. The other half are trying to instigate a wholesale communist revolution. There is no one, no one, who wants the tsar back. And you better pray to God that the communists don’t manage to seize power before King George gets your family out, or your father just might be guillotined on the steps of Saint Basil’s Cathedral.”

I bolt to my feet unsteadily, grip the side of the lurching cart, and leap out onto the dirt road.

“What the hell are you doing?!” Ben shouts after me.

I take off sprinting down the road, the wind whipping my face, sobbing as I run beneath the shadows of trees until my lungs are columns of flames and my legs feel wobbly and boneless. I can hear the pounding of the mule’s hooves approaching, the hurtling of wooden wheels, the slapping of leather reins. I am forced to slow to a vigorous march as my body betrays me, wheezing and aching and as ineffectual as a woman is so often assumed to be. The salacious trousers have come in handy once again. Who would have guessed.

Ben pulls up alongside me, reining in the mule to match my pace. “Hey! Get back in the cart!”

“I’ll walk the rest of the way to the railroad station.”

“It’s 200 more kilometers!”

“See you there.”

Now Ben jumps out of the cart. The mule, perplexed but not rattled, comes to a halt and waits in the middle of the road with her long ears angled in opposite directions. Ben rushes in front of me and leans down until we’re at eye-level, breathing heavily. I can smell smoke on him, and something else too: maybe cologne, maybe soap, maybe aftershave, maybe just the scent of a man in his prime. His lips are pink and full and soft-looking, I notice, as if for the first time. His cheeks are irritated and red from the wind; the ruthlessness of the climate here doesn’t agree with him. It is the only way in which I am stronger than he is. His green eyes are wide and blazing. “Get. In. The. Cart.”

“No,” I whisper, tears all over my face.

“You can’t just run off like that,” he pleads, less angry now. “Where are you going to go? There’s nothing out here except trees and…I don’t know…probably bears and wolves and maybe even Siberian tigers. You can’t get ripped apart by wild animals. Don’t you want to make it to London? To argue for your family’s liberation? They could find no fiercer advocate than you, of that I am convinced.”

“How would you possibly protect me from a bear?”

Ben unbuttons his coat and pulls up his white wool sweater to show me a pistol tucked into the holster clipped to his belt. “Just in case,” he says, smirking crookedly, lowering his sweater again. “Now I am keeping no secrets from you, and you are harboring none from me. We’re even.”

I nod, sniffling, thinking of my jewels and photograph hidden in the steamer trunk. My words are so strained I can barely hear them myself, my hands are trembling; hell, I’m trembling all over. The possibility is unimaginable. “Do you really think they’re going to kill Papa?”

Ben sighs, shaking his head. “No, I don’t,” he replies gently. “I think the Provisional Government will be able to keep the communists in check for now. I think they will leap at the opportunity to ship the former tsar off to Britain without the potential controversy of a trial and execution. And I also think we should get back in the cart and keep moving now.”

“I’m sorry your boss gave you this assignment and now you have to risk your life for a family that you evidently hate,” I lash out like a cornered animal, hissing and brandishing its glinting claws. “For a grand duchess that you hate. This must be an awful inconvenience for you.”

“It’s rather more complicated than that,” Ben says. “There’s some opportunity in it as well.”

Of course: his leather-bound notebook full of observations, his scrawled recollections to one day build into a famed article about our journey. An article full of what he truly thinks about me. I feel suddenly, violently nauseous. I feel horrified.

What happened to the grand adventure that I imagined? Where did it go?

And all at once, I can’t even remember how I pictured this journey unfolding; I can’t conjure up some rose-colored vision of me and Ben falling into an effortless friendship, flirting lightly and innocently, discovering new corners of the earth together, parting ways in London as lifelong confidants. Now I can only see Papa as he murmurs folktales older than Christianity with candlelight dancing on his smiling face, as he chases me and my sisters around the gardens with outstretched arms and sparkling eyes, as he carries Alexei from one room to the next when my brother’s joints are inflamed and excruciating and useless, as he never unburdens his mind to his wife or children but spends long afternoons chopping wood as the sun sinks into the west and the lines in his pale face grow deeper.

He couldn’t be responsible for bloodshed, for mercilessness. He’s not that kind of man. He’s never been that kind of man.

“We really should keep moving,” Ben prompts.

“Fine,” I fling back as I shove by him. I mop my tears away with the sleeve of my wool sweater, climb into the back of the wooden cart, and sit as far as I can from Ben with my bent knees hugged to my chest. I stare silently off into the forest as the mule drags us towards the Trans-Siberian Railroad, towards Moscow and Saint Petersburg and the Baltic Sea and London, towards the conclusion of this tenuous partnership and the redemption of my family. I am looking forward to soon never having to see Benjamin Hardy again, and yet I’m also not; and this is a difficult paradox to put into words of any language.

We don’t stop until it’s almost dusk. Ben hops down from the cart, leads the mule off the road by her bridle (and gives her an encouraging scratch on the forelock when she hesitates), and begins to set up camp in a small clearing encircled by heaps of frost grass. Dinner is loaves of bread again—even more tough and dry than yesterday—and metallic-tasting water from canteens. Dessert is a hand-rolled cigarette for Ben and a handful of honeyberries I found in the bushes for me. And when Ben grapples with the tent, I come over to help him with it just to prove I can.

Ben builds a fire, and we sit wordlessly on opposite sides of it with the reflections of flames in our eyes. Ben jots down today’s thoughts in his notebook, every so often glancing off into nowhere and tapping his chin thoughtfully with the end of his pen, biting his full lower lip absentmindedly as he sifts through the ocean of word in his head to fish out the right one. Meanwhile, I read my copy of Tarzan of the Apes. I stumble across a few English terms I don’t know—quixotic, cartography, constellations, ruminate—but I don’t ask Ben about them.

After a long time, when the moon and stars have emerged bright and ancient in the night sky, Ben closes his notebook and watches me. At first I ignore him. And then, eventually, I can’t anymore.

“What?” I ask irritably, keeping my place in Tarzan of the Apes with my pinky finger, which is nearly numb from the cold.

Ben’s words are calm, restrained, painstakingly chosen. Firelight is fierce and bloody on his face. “I had two infant brothers die of pneumonia, a perfectly preventable illness had they had access to good doctors and proper nutrition and a warm dry home, which they did not. I had a sister die in childbirth because there was no midwife available to attend to her. I have had friends come home from the war with limbs or half their faces missing, a fate which I myself am spared only because of my employment with Sir Buchanan. You have no idea what the world has been through while you were off playing board games and reading novels in greenhouses and lounging on lakeshores with your idyllic little family. You have no idea what life is like for the rest of us. And perhaps that’s not your fault, and it is unjust of me to resent you for it, and I must learn to temper this wrath I’ve been carrying around in my chest since childhood. But it’s still true.”

He stands, clutching his notebook with hands that are red from the savage Siberian wind, and vanishes into the tent.

[moviemunchies]

[I’ll admit that I had a lot of trouble writing this review, because fact is that there’s something in the movie that bothered me when I thought about it, even though I overall enjoyed the film. So bear with me as I fumble through this review.]

You remember that time the Allies tricked Nazi Germany by sending a dead body to Spain? No? Well that’s what this movie is about.

In World War II, in order to invade mainland Europe, the Allies decided they’d invade Sicily. But Sicily is the obvious entry point, so they’ve got to convince Nazi Germany that they’re planning on invading Greece instead, so that’s where they put all their troops, leaving Sicily open to invasion.

How to accomplish this? With a dead body of course! They take a corpse, dress it in military uniform to make it look like he’s an officer killed in a plane crash, and plant documents on him indicating that the Allies are planning to go to Greece. While Spain is officially neutral, Nazi Germany has people there that would jump on any information they found that might be useful, so if they can get the corpse there, they can make sure it gets eventually passed to Hitler’s office. So starts the process of creating a believable backstory and set of documents for this body, and then finally getting this body’s documents to Germany, all the while the people working on this plan have their superiors breathing down their necks, incredibly skeptical about whether this will work at all.

The main issue that I have with this movie is that it amps up the drama by adding a love triangle to the story. And that’s a pretty annoying addition. I would let it slide if it was a part of the historical record, but as far as I can tell, it isn’t. The movie’s epilogue tells us what happens to all of the characters after the events of the movie, and it isn’t as if any of the three members of this love triangle end up together. Wikipedia says what I suspected–that the love triangle was invented for the film. I understand that Wikipedia is not necessarily the most reliable source, so maybe that’s wrong, but it certainly sounds correct.

So basically it was invented, For the Dramaz.

Why do espionage dramas feel the need to do this? Turn: Washington’s Spies added a romance subplot that again, didn’t happen, and while it eventually gets out of focus after the first season, it still gets mentioned every so often throughout the show, including in the final moments of the finale. It’s as if there being a war going on, and the risk that our characters get found out, or that their plans don’t work and lead to the destruction of their way of life, isn’t enough! We need to add something else!

Ugh.

I’m sorry. But this is an aspect that’s not in the trailers at all, if I recall correctly. And so watching the film this felt a bit out of nowhere, and I didn’t appreciate it, especially since the ending showed that it was utterly pointless. There is so much to milk drama out of–Montagu’s brother being a Communist sympathizer, Michael’s surviving family trying to figure why they can’t bury his body, Cholmondeley’s efforts to get his brother’s body back, and then Godfrey trying to get Cholmondeley to spy on Montagu—all of this could have been given more screentime, and instead, the stupid love triangle.

Anyhow.

This does have a very likable cast. It’s fun to see these people come together to try to make this implausible plan work, hashing out every contingency and bouncing off of each other. Yes, they’re trying to fool the Nazis, but they’re also people doing their job, and letting out stress by bonding with each other as they do so.

I have been informed that of the leads, two of them are also performers who have played Mr. Darcy in an adaptation of Pride and Prejudice. I haven’t seen either of those adaptations, so I don’t know (Jane Austen’s fine, but not really my jam). It is an interesting little coincidence though. Makes their interactions interesting.

Matthew Macfadyen is particularly interesting in this movie as Cholmondeley because he’s not someone that comes across as a spy or in military intelligence. He’s rather nervous and fidgety. But because of that he’s able to keep coming up with things that need to go right for the plan to work–he’s “preemptively poking holes”, as he says.

Ian Fleming is emphasized a bit in the trailers, and he is in the movie, but nowhere near as much as you’d think considering the advertising. And not enough really–he’s a fun character who lights up every bit of dialogue he gets. It makes sense that he was here–the officer overseeing the entire thing, Admiral Godfrey, who oversaw Montagu, was Fleming’s boss, and often considered the inspiration for ‘M’ in the James Bond stories (something that the movie references).

[Also the real life Godfrey was not a huge fan of this development.]

Speaking of Godfrey, he’s played by Jason Isaacs. He’s fun. Well, no, Godfrey’s not fun, as such, in that he seems an unpleasant fellow to work for and interact with. But Isaacs is having much fun playing him as a complete douchebag who wants this to fail because he thinks it’s a stupid idea. I remember saying to my dad after watching this movie that he’s a douche, and my dad pointed out that it’s Godfrey’s job to be harsh like that. I still maintain he was harsher than necessary, but he does make a fun character to watch on screen.

If you’re super interested in stories about intelligence in World War II you should probably check it out, but if you’re annoyed by unnecessary love triangles, then you may want to skip it. I liked it, but this bugged me a lot too, hence why I wrote more about that than any other one aspect of the movie. I apologize if I made the movie sound bad from that–it’s not, but it is a surprisingly large part of the film, considering that it’s not in the trailers or in real life history. So Your Mileage May Vary on this one.

[starr-fall-knight-rise]

HASO “Dream Come True.”

Hope you guys enjoy, and hope you all have a great day!

Adam took a drink before setting the glass back down on the table. Across from him, Donovan Red took a pull on his whisky, drinking deeply before setting his glass down wiping his mouth with the back of his hand.

“I’m Sorry about your man….. I didn’t intend for things to go that way.” Adam said staring down at the amber liquid in the glass before him.

Donavan signed, “Not your fault. Sometimes pride gets the better of us, and it’s hard to admit that an outsider might be able to beat us at our own game.” he patted Adam on the shoulder, “But you saved my life, which means I am, and will forever be in your debt.” He smiled 

Adam tilted his head.

“That doesn’t seem to bother you too much.”

“I think there are much worse people to be indebted to. A least I know you won’t ask me to do something I don’t want to do. Not like other men I know.” He took another drink, the tattoos on his neck bobbing once and then twice as he swallowed, “So, tell me this favor that you are looking for. How can me and mine be of service.”

Adam sighed and slumped back in his seat. He felt like he should definitely be keeping quiet about what he wanted to tell the man, but it was hard keeping it to himself and the people on his ship.It would be nice if someone else knew what was going on.

And wasn’t that the point.

Isn’t that why he had come here.

“When I joined the UNSC, I never thought about politics. I was a fighter pilot and then a spaceship captain. I am no politician, but more and more I find myself having to do politics like things. People ask for my opinions on policy, and they encourage me to support one group over another. I have to manuver as a diplomat for the GA without trying to piss off the actual diplomat, who isn’t too happy that I sometimes get in the way of them doing their job.

I am the human representative to all of humanity, and I have to behave the right way, but, sometimes, in doing what I know is right people get mad at me for it. I am worried one day they are going to give me an order that I just can’t follow. Not to mention that I have suddenly become the figurehead for an entire political movement. Sometimes I have to make speeches now.” he threw up his hands, “I represent a coalition interested in cooperating with the GA and all her interests, but there is a very heavy isolationist mindset on earth that is mad that we ever even joined the UNSC. They have already attempted to assassinate me once, and I have no doubt that they are going to do it again.”

Donavan grunted and looked him over, “Yes, I remember hearing about that.” He looked Adam up and down slowly, “No offence, but you would make a shit politician.”

Adam sighed and nodded, “I know. The only reason that I have so much pull in the arena is based on what I represent, and how the GA feels about me, but now…. Now I am learning that there are factions of the GA that want me gone.”

Donavan rased an eyebrow in surprise, “The GA?”

Adam shrugged and sighed pushing his glass away from him, “Yes, some very powerful people are after me for something I never intended to do.”

“And who is this exactly?”

Adam shut his mouth forcing himself to think about it for a moment before finally making his decision.

He sighed and leaned back in his chair, “The chairwoman of the GA herself.”

Red almost choked on his drink, spewing some of it out onto the table before swallowing hard and setting his glass down very slowly.

“WHAT!”

“Adam nodded. I was chasing after some information, and infiltrated the pirate wing of the anti-alliance coalition as a man named captain Kell.”

Red held up a hand, “Hold on, YOU are Kell, no shit. I heard the guy was one badass pirate.”

Adam adjusted his eye-patch, “I AM one badass pirate, but either way, I used that cover to get to their leaders and saw a transmission being sent from the chairwoman of the GA that was ordering those men and women to kill me if they could manage it, and now I don’t know what to do. The chairwoman pretty much helped me get my job. As far as I can recall she was one of the most supportive when it came to my promotion to captain. Thought we were allies if not friends, and now I come to learn that she has been operating behind my back to stage my assasination.”

Red leaned up against the table, “Well no shit, that does suck.” He tapped his fingers together, “And of course you can’t tell anyone without proof, otherwise they aren’t going to believe you. If you are going to come up with allegations like those, then you are going to need hard evidence against her.

Adam nodded, “And I do have some evidence, the recording of what she said, but those sorts of things can be doctored. I need to expose her somehow. I don’t know how all of this fits in of course, but it is partially why I came to speak with you.”

Red waited and Adam continued.

“I can’t trust anyone within the GA, or even within the UNSC. My only option is to go outside the law like my enemies are doing. Fight fire with fire so to say. If they are using the criminal underbelly to try and kill me, then maybe I can use it to try and save me.”

Donavan was nodding slowly, “And you are hoping to fight fire with fire to speak?”

Adam sighed, “I don’t know what I am hoping , but I know for a fact you and your men have the most power in this system, enough that everyone knows but no one questions it. I know you can go deeper than I can ever attempt, and I was hoping that maybe you could keep an eye out for me, track the movements of the criminal underworld so to speak while I try and deal with those people who are pretending to do things legally.”

Red nodded slowly, ‘That is something I can do”

“But is it something you are willing to do?”

He tilted his head back thoughtfully to look up at the ceiling above, “I think it is. Not much different from things my men and I already do accept this time it is going to be for a worthy cause.”

He grinned, his gold capped teeth glittering in the dim light, “I-”

Just then, the implant in the side of his neck began to buzz. He held up a hand for Red to be silent, and the other man nodded leaning back in his seat to finish his drink as Adam answered the call.

“Madam president.” His tone of surprise roused red who raised an eyebrow.

“I have to say this is…. This is rather shocking. I didn’t know that you had this number.”

“I can have any number that interests me Admiral.”

“Yes of course.” He shifted nervously in his seat, “What can I do for you ma’am.”

“Do you know what important event happened on July 20th 1969, Admiral.”

He paused not entirely sure if this was a trick question.

“Go on. I know you of all people would know it.”

“The Apollo 11 moon landing ma’am.’

“More precisely, the 2051 anniversary of the Apollo 11 moon landing. And it has been long in coming but   the Global Aeronautics Space Division has decided to celebrate the occasion by recreating Apollo 11 down to every historical accuracy. The calculations will be done partially by hand and partially by computer. The Ship design will be exactly that of Apollo 11, etc. etc.”

Despite the stress he had been under the last few days, he felt his heart skip a beat.

“Wait, are…. Are you serious! That is amazing!”

“Yes yes.” She said cutting him off.

“And they want…. Or all of us want you to pilot that ship and command the mission as Commander Neil Armstrong would have in his time.”

The only response he was able to manage was a squeak, and he could feel the fangirl in him coming on hard and fast. He tried to clear his throat and remain professional, his heart pounding, a wide grin setting off across his face.

“Yes Ma’am you can count me in.”

“How confident are you that you can pilot the rocket?”

“I can fly anything ma’am.”

“Even so, we would like you back on earth as soon as possible to prepare for the event. This is a big historical recreation, and we want it to go as well as possible.”

“yes ma’am.”

The line went dead and he was no longer able to fight back the grin on his face.

Red watched him before standing, “We will get to work Admiral, and we will keep in contact. It’s good to know that my men and women are going to have something useful to occupy their time instead of sitting around twiddling their thumbs.”

Adam stood as well and took the man’s hand, “It should be a pleasure working with you.”

Red snorted skeptically, “You are too kind. I doubt it will be so pleasant, but consider yourself as a man who has friends in very low places.”

The two of them nodded and Adam excused himself back to his ship, racing towards his rooms with the giddy excitement of a school boy. The clind in him had awoken. He stopped to sit on the edge of his bed staring at the tiny recreated model of the lunar module sitting on the shelf above his bed glowing blue in the neon light above.

How cool was this going to be.

How dangerous was this going to be?

***

Eris was pleased to learn that she was not lactose intolerant. They hadn’t been sure based on her half alien half human anatomy if she would be able to handle some of the more harsh foods of the planet, but everything seemed to be working properly, a fact she was forever thankful for as she polished off her second bowl of ice cream.

She found the treat novel and delectable.

Leave it to human to think of eating flavored snow, or at least frozen cream.

And she liked it when they put little bits of candy on top.

Martha Sat on the floor next to the couch, and her husband sat in his chair watching ‘the Game’. Eris wasn’t sure what the rules were, but she liked watching them crash into each other. She wasn’t a big fan of all the talking they seemed to do in between the crashing together.

Martha and Jim had invited her to stay over for as long as she wanted after she told them the more detailed story of her life. They had been shocked  but ultimately unsurprised to learn that she was less than three years old feeling sorry that she never got to have her childhood.

That’s why they were treating her like this, she knew.

They wanted to give her that little bit of her childhood.

She worried that they would be annoyed at her presence, but they seemed to have time with her sticking around indefinitely as far as she could tell . She wasn’t sure how long she was going to be staying, but for now, she was happy where she was.

Of course part of her being welcome had something to do with how Martha had no one to model clothes for her. Since her youngest son left the house she had been forced to model them herself, which made things difficult when she wanted to make alterations. But now that she had Eris, things were going much more smoothly,

At first Eris had been embarrassed to put on the clothing for her.

Once upon a time Eris hadn’t known better in thinking her body was weird. She had floated around without it using a gravity belt and no clothes, letting her long dark hair and ribbons cover what needed to be covered, but the more she learned about humans, the more self conscious she had grown, until hoodies and baggy pants were the only things she wore.

Martha did not approve of her wardrobe seeming to think Eris would look very striking in red or black.

Eris had tried on a few outfits for her nervousness at just how much of her alien otherness tended to show, with plunging backs and short skirts to show off her marble whie legs. Martha seemed to think the ribbons were pretty, and in everything she had Eris try on, they were on full display.

“Do they work like starborn ribbons?” Martha wondered, “I know they act sort of as solar sales, storing energy from the sun and using that to glide.”

Eris paused, “I don’t know. I was born on noctropolis where there is no sun, so I have never tried it.”

“I think you should.”

Eris shifted nervously, “But.”

Martha just smiled at her, “our backyard is fenced in, no one is going to see you.” Eris thoughts bout it for a moment and then set her bowl down to the side. She stood slowly and walked to the back sliding screen door and stepped out onto their back porch.

Technically it was only fenced in on two sides. The backside was open where the forest  met their lawn growing deep and black as it went further back in to the depths.

Nervously Eris reached up and pulled off her hoodie dropping iit to the ground.

The tank top she wore had been made by Martha to accommodate her ribbons.

Once upon a time her gravity belt had allowed those ribbons to wave and undulate, but here they sagged with gravity and flowed behind her in the occasional wind current.

She turned around so they were facing the sun and waited.

And waited.

She felt nothing happening and was abut to go inside when.

When something started to happen.

She felt more…. Energized. Her blood seemed to grow warm and a smile spread across her face. At  first she thought it was just all in her head, but then the warmth continued to blossom over her.

Her eyes went wide and she hummed softly feeling recharged from the sun like a battery.

She had her eyes closed and was just enjoying the radiation when she heard something ringing from the inside of the house followed by voices.

She was able to tear herself away from the warmth and stick her head inside.

“Adam, how are you doing.” Jim said and Eris could see Adam’s face projected on the TV.

She recognized a bit of herself in him. She had his nose, and his eyes shape.

“You are not going to believe who just called me.”

Martha smiled as she walked over to sit next to her husband, “Adam I wouldn’t be surprised if it was the president herself.”

Adam frowned some of the wind momentarily taken out of his sales, “Ok, yes it was the president, but.” e lit up almost immediately, “But you are not going to believe what she asked me to do.” He didn’t wait for them to guess, “She wants me to fly a recreated mission of the Apollo 11 moon landing. Historically accurate and everything!.” His grin was so wide it looked like he was going to split his face in half.

Martha’s eyes widened, “Really?”

Jim frowned, “That is great Adam, but…. Historically accurate?”

He nodded vigorously, “Yeah.”

“Son yu do realize the computer they used was less powerful than your mother’s automatic blow dryer.”

He waved a hand, “Yeah yeah, I know I know. Most of the math is probably going to be done by hand.”

Jim snorted and Martha grimaced, “Adam, sometimes I wish you had safer hobbies. I mean flying the omen is one thing, with those shields she could probably survive a meteor impact, but you understand the Apollo 11 mission flew in a rocket that  that parts no heavier duty than your average tin can.”

“yes , and that makes it even more awesome.”

“I think you are getting dangerous and awesome confused again, son.”

“Oh come on, this is like a dream come true for me. ‘

Finally Martha and Jim sighed and broke out into smiles, “There is no changing your mind as usual.”

Adam grinned, “Nope.”

He turned his head just then, seeming to look through the camera, his eyes falling on Eris. Shock spread across his face, “Eris, is that you?”

She smiled shyly and moved forward, “Yeah, It’s me.”

“What are you doing there, I thought you were working at the hybrid foundation taking care of Glados and the others.”

She shrugged guiltily, “I…. well glados and the others wanted to go back to the adapted planet, and after that others started getting adopted, but then I sort of burnt out and wanted to come here and meet…..” She paused not sure if she should say 

Martha put an arm around her, “She wanted to meet her grandparents and extended family.”

Adam looked surprised for a moment as if not having expected that before shrugging, “Just try to avoid mom’s side of the family if at all possible.”

“Adam.” Martha scolded, though she wasn’t actually mad.

He grinned, “I’ll be home in a few days.” he looked at eris, “Maybe I can show you around town when I get back….. If that’s something you’d be interested in?”

Eris shuffled her feet and quietly looked down, “Yeah,i’d like that.”

She wished she could read his thoughts in that moment. Was he only offering to be polite? She knew better than anyone that her birth had not been his fault. He had had his DNA stolen to  make her, but still she couldn’t help but feel an affinity towards him. One that she knew wasn’t fiar for her to feel.

He hadn’t chosen for her to be born after all.

Not like other people 

Did he just feel guilty?

Was she unwanted?

[firstknightss]

GWAINCELOT ESSAY THREE???

[commentary voice] ah yes and this gwaincelot essay.... which turned into a fic was inspired by @nextstopparis and @little-ligi

GWAINE TEACHING LANCELOT HOW TO READ. and thats how they actually CONFESS.

imagine gwaine seeing lancelot trip up reading leon’s plan for the day, seeing him trying to understand it. and gwaines, hes a little in love. Hes. Hes a little hit with feelings for this Noble (tm) knight. So OF COURSE he CANT EMOTION and he tries to show his affection for lancelot without yknow being in ‘loVE’

he comes over with his swishy hair and bantery tone like “oooOhHh LANCELOT! Lancey! Hey! Hello! Can’t read leon’s goddamn awful handwriting huh?”

And Lancelots embarrassed and flushes red and gwaine thinks hes Fucked Up (and he really doesn’t want to fuck this up, this is the first time he’s actually felt emotions this deep for someone) and tries to fix it panickedly, like the Anxiety Clown He Is.

He keeps on saying sorry and apologising, and Lancelot, the EVER CALM KNIGHT GUY, goes “it’s fine, it’s okay. It’s nothing to do with you...” and then he hesitates. He HESITATES. “....it’s just that...” and then he BITES HIS LIP and gwaine thinks he might just faint there and then, “...i cant read.”

and now it hits him, gwaine, gwaine, who thought literacy was something trash and something he didn’t really need, realises how important it is. and so, yknow because hes kind of wrapped in those Emotions (tm), he pulls lancelot’s sleeve after practice, when they’re alone in the changing room. (and if lancelot wasn’t so tired and miserable, he would have easily seen gwaine BLUSH)

And he, shyly asks if lancelot wouldnt mind being tutored by him.

Now Lancelot is OVERJOYED, and he’s borderline CRYING because lancelot, poor old village boy lancelot who’d been kicked out of the knights of camelot, and had to become a MERCENARY and fight for masters who didn’t care for him, has NEVER HAD someone literally CARE about him so much. (Apart from Merlin. He loves merlin <3)

so now imagine lancelot waking up an hour early the next morning, and showing up into gwaine’s room. He knows gwaine literally doesnt sleep with a lock, so he just barges in, and starts shaking gwaine.

Now GWAINE sleeps like a Log (had so much shit going on irl, time to sleep it away) and when he opens his bleary eyes, seeing lancelot in one of his stupid v neck shirts over him, hes like “....h...helo??”

and lancelot’s all like. “We- werent YOU gonna give me reading lessons.” And gwaine nods, yawning (and in that moment lancelot thinks gwaine looks unimaginably cute, so cute that he wants to literally ruffle gwaine’s hair and run his hands through how silky and brown it is.)

THEN gwaine pulls on the dont care-ish mask, and makes his arms into a pillow under his head, as he leans against the wall behind his bed, in some kind of somewhat???flirty??? manner??? [i dont...i dont know what hes trying to do. On the other hand! Not does Lancelot :) ]

Lancelot, does not realise this is gwaine’s poor attempt at flirting - since he’s seen gwaine ACTUALLY flirting and this is like. Nothing. And its also poorly executed. Which is NOTHING like gwaine.

So he pulls gwaine’s arm, and half hauls him out of bed.

As gwaine’s head crashes into lancelot’s stomach, he can smell lancelot’s clothes. They smell of flowers, and cotton and everything so natural and gwaine, who literally smells of wine, and wood and Tavern. (And aftershave, or the 500AD equivalent)

[see here, see im trying to bring themes of dionysis okay. OkayyyyyyyyY. yours truly likes looking at greek mythology. And both these two complete dionysis]

Gwaine, in his sleepy stupor, nestles his head on Lancelot’s hip, who gives a sigh and stands there. One hand clutching gwaine’s, leaving the other free.....

....to rake through his soft, flowy brown hair. And twirl his fingers through its waves, and Gwaine cuddles in further.

And since Lancelot left the door open, Leon (the other bitch who wakes up at 4am to do idk nothing) sees them two...like that, illuminated by the SUNLIGHT behind them, and smiles a little.

And then he trips over the stairs, the moment is lost.

Gwaine and Lancelot pull away at the same time, and gwaine’s face turns back to “ha ha im a Jerk (tm)” and if he wasnt too busy trying to hide how flustered he was, he’d see Lancelot looking at him the way he used to look at GWEN.

They both blink and look at each other, understandingly, neither of them to speak of this again.

And then Gwaine drags himself out of bed, and Lancelot raises his eyebrows as he watches him (totally not checking him out) haul out a book from his cupboard.

Gwaine’s too sleepy for this, he keeps yawning and rubbing his eyes (looking like a cat, Lancelot notes) and Lancelot takes a deep breath, his eyes understanding.

“We don’t have to do this if you don’t want to.”

“Lancelot, I love..” he bites his tongue, cursing his half asleep mind “..doing this, and love hanging out with you...I just cant stay up this early.”

Reading lessons, from now on, are at 1:30am-whenever Gwaine and Lancelot stop rambling about Odysseus and Circe and Telemachus

[i dont know any other ancient books apart from like. Ancient greek/Roman ones. So i guess. Its not historically accurate,,,,BUUIT this is a fanfic for a pair who had like no scenes together SO i think i can take some ✨creative liberties✨]

Lancelot has heard of the journey of Aneas from travelling bards, singing songs in his native old english. Gwaine’s eyes are quick at latin, and he learnt the flaws of Romulus and Remus in his pure latin. Gwaine’s a good teacher, and lancelot is a quick study, and it’s not long before they’re arguing over which Goddess caused the most harm in the Illiad.

Gwaine’s never met someone who he could reveal that he loved reading to, he loved doing.

Lancelot’s never met someone who he could tell he couldn’t read, and ask if they could teach him, love learning.

They make it work.

The other knights notice, of course they notice. Percival notices how Lancelot stumbles into the Gwaine’s room at night, bright eyed. Elyan notices Lancelot and Gwaine’s voices from Gwaine’s room opposite him; sometimes slow, Gwaine speaking slowly and Lancelot following; sometimes heated and passionate.

(They’re arguing. They’re arguing about how to pronounce Minerva)

Merlin finds the two, in the early hours of the morning - when the birds are figuring what song they sing today - on Gwaine’s bed.

Gwaine leaned against the bedframe, his trousered legs splayed over the sheets. Loosely braided, long brown hair fell over his closed eyelids, his mouth in a small smile.

And Merlin follows his arm draped over Lancelot, snuggled beside him, his head on his broad shoulder, every breath of wind pushing against curly black hair, making it almost /bounce/. His eyes are covered by the other man’s hair, and he looks...content. More content than Merlin has ever seen him.

He slips out as quietly as he came in, and smirks, hes gotta tell arthur they finally got their shit together oh GOD

Its no surprise to anyone but them, when Arthur pulls Lancelot out of training, and into his chambers.

“I’m glad you’ve found someone Lancelot.” He starts, his face geniune, his voice giving away hints of relief. (He thought he was never going to see his knight smile again after all the ordeals that had happened to him)

“Oh...” Lancelot’s heart sinks, “...how did you find out, Sire?”

Arthur blinks, taking in the change of mood in Lancelot, maybe it wasn’t anything important, maybe they were trying to keep it casual, hell they didnt want the king knowing.

“I- uh, I just noticed...” Goddamnit Merlin, and Goddamn his need to tell him everything he saw. (Merlin had advised him not to do this, as they sat on his bed after a long night. This was really his fault.)

Lancelot pales, and he places his hands down on the table beside him, palms slapping stone as he did so.

“Well, I guess I should tell you the whole truth then,” his voice is quiet, and Arthur steps closer, “Sire I am not of Noble birth, and was born in a village - as you know.”

Arthur nods, his arms crossed, but his Kingly Bravado fell away at the sight of his knight, and one of his closest friends, being this vulnerable.

“Yes I know, but what does this ha-“

“And we children in the village we-“ he falters, “-we were never taught to read.”

“Yes, no I understand, I-“ he pauses, Lancelot’s words hitting him a bit too late, this was about literacy?

This, this whole conversation was about literacy?

Not being gay?

Merlin was going to have a field day

“Sire?”

“I understand Lancelot, and is this why you feel a little out of place with the other knights?” He carries it on, with a smile, he has a few questions to ask merlin.

“Yes, and that’s why I asked Gwaine to tutor me from time to time, although, the sessions carry through late into the night, which may have been affecting my performance at practice. I’ll have you know that this is a temporary th-“

“It’s fine Lancelot,” Arthur places a hand on his shoulder, “You are still exceptional at practice,”

“Thank you Sire,” Lancelot twinkles.

✨

“Theyre, theyre not together?” Merlin cant stop laughing, tears streaming down his face, “theyre not TOGETHER?? oh my God arthur what did you DO”

They sit together on Arthur’s bed, drinking wine from stemless cups together, with Arthur recounting the events of the day; red faced.

“I mean, it was your idea Merlin.”

“I just saw them, and I assumed...I didnt...I didnt think youd ASK them.”

“What do you think I’d do then?? Let them be on their merry way.”

“Yes!”

✨

“Do you like me?” Gwaine asks, unexpectedly, one night, the moon vibrant against the loud sea.

“You’re...tolerable...” Lancelot says, a smile tugging at his lips, as the silver moonlight falls against his hair, a halo around him.

✨

The knights give them the look every morning, as the two of them stumbled out of the same room, more frequently than ever.

Sometimes Lancelot would throw on Gwaine’s shirt, when he’d crumpled his own beyond repair. Sometimes Gwaine would put some of Lancelot’s hair oil on, when his hair was frizzy.

They gave each other knowing looks when Gwaine and Lancelot started whispering and giggling like a bunch of schoolgirls.

✨

And then Stupid gwaine had to go get fucking stabbed, and their delicate dance was like trying to waltz through a minefield.

Lancelot clutches onto Gwaine’s arm as Merlin feels his forehead with shaking hands.

“He’s burning up.”

“Infection...?” Lancelot sounds broken, and nods, fumbling with his pack to find some bandages.

It was just a simple quest; a save the day, get the girl, do various harmless shenanigans type of quest.

He’d half expected Gwaine to get the girl, and he cant help but give out a half choked laugh. Gwaine had no idea what hit him when she turned out to be the evil one all along.

He tries to forget that Gwaine showed no interest in her, he tries to forget that Gwaine’s been less frequent at the Tavern, he tries to forget that he hasn’t seen Gwaine with anyone since months now.

Gwaine, his beautiful Gwaine was lying on his lap, hot red blood rushing from his side, staining his polished chainmail with dark, sticky blood.

He’s been out for nearly an hour now, and Lancelot remembers carrying him, through the entire forest, forgetting his sword and his helmet and just grabbing Gwaine and getting the shit out of there.

Gwaine’s lack of self preservation was really rubbing off on Lancelot nowadays.

Merlin watches as Lancelot holds back tears, his own eyes stinging. Gwaine can’t die like this, he can’t die like this....

“hælan beorn adl”

Merlin’s eyes flashed gold, and Lancelot could feel warmth coming back into the fingers he was grabbing.

He was coming back.

And then the weight of everything hits him.

He was in Fucking Love.

✨

“Hey.” Gwaine’s voice is rough from disuse, but Lancelot nearly sobs when he hears the voice.

“Don’t fucking do that to me again, amor meus.” He puts his head down on Gwaine’s chest; finding the hammering of his heart calming.

He shimmies onto Merlin’s bed, which Gwaine had been lying in for the past few days.

“Did you mean, ami meus?” Gwaine sounds tired, too tired to be awake.

“Huh? Did i say something else?” Lancelot decides to play dumb, a sparkle in his eyes,

“I thought I heard amor meus,” Gwaine pushes his nose into Lancelot’s hair, taking in the wonderful smell of coconut.

“Well then, at least your hearing’s okay, amor meus.”

Gwaine gulped, and was sure Lancelot could hear his loud swallow.

“Lancelot, I hope this isnt a big joke with me teachin you latin and all,” Gwaine’s voice is a little wobbly from the slee deprivation and the magic and the pain numbers, “because I’ll have you know that I really love you, and I cant go on like this any longer,”

“Its okay Gwaine, I learnt latin from the man I love, of course it’s not a joke.”

“The man you love? Who’s tha-“

Realisation hits him like a brick.

Oh.

Oh.

“Me?” His voice cracks, and Lancelot looks up, a smirk on his face.

“Of course dumbass.”

“Like I’m meant to know that,” Gwaine tries to keep his dont care-ish aura, but they both know he’s too exhausted to keep that up.

“mmm?”

Gwaine kisses him on the nose, and he wraps himself around him.

And thats how Merlin finds them later that day, eyes blinking as he stood there.

✨

“I’m glad you’ve found someone, Lancelot.” Arthur coughs.

“Is that what that whole talk was about???”

“Answer the question.” His words sound harsh, but he’s barely hiding a smile.

“I’m glad too, I’m Glad I found Gwaine too.” Lancelot blushes, turning to gwaine.

“Why are you asking anyway, Princess?”

“Oh just, making sure this time.”

[duxhess-kryzewan]

Obi-wan saving Satine from a suitor, and then lots of fluff and cuddling.

- This Love - 

During his time on the run with Qui-Gon and Satine he had become somewhat of an expert on the history of Mandalorian culture and the various clans that make up its people. Satine of course had hailed from Clan Kryze. Many long days and nights were spent discussing the history of her people and it's various leaders throughout its time as an established civilization. It had helped them pass the time. 

That said, he only remembered so much from that ongoing history lesson. Too many things had been slowly compiling themselves in his brain and he had long since forgotten some of the specifics when it came to the differing clans. Satine would surely chastise him if he were ever to let her know that.

He does know however that she tries to maintain a steady line of communication with all the major houses that the clans compiled in order to keep peace between them. 

One of her guards had informed him that she was in the middle of a House meeting when he landed on Mandalore. He had finished a simple extraction mission on one of the other outer rim planets earlier than expected and had decided to sneak away and visit her while he had the time. What little he ever had to spare was precious and all the better when he was able to see her. 

Of course he had told her guards that it wasn't necessary to disturb her meeting to inform her of his arrival; force knows that he would never hear the end of it if he were to interrupt her while she was conducting her duties as Duchess. She may be just as thrilled to see him as he was her, but they both had a mutual understanding that their duties would always come first.

"It's fine," He insisted, "I'm sure the Duchess would be less than pleased should her meeting intruded upon. I'll fair out just fine, I tend to know my way around here."

"As you wish, Master Kenobi." The guardsman had said before retreating down the hallway. It was true, he had spent enough time over the past year or so in Sundari Palace that he knew his way around without a guide. Thankfully he was able to operate under the guise of being a liaison for the Republic instead of simply coming for personal reasons, which was the case more often than not. 

He had been roaming the halls of the palace close to her throne room while he waited. The pieces of their culture was something one could easily get lost in, and the palace had no shortage of historical artifacts and antiquities to delve into. All the better for him; her meeting had a tendency to drag and there was only so long he could hover in one place waiting for her. 

Her voice always pulled him out of whatever trance he was in, and today was no different. Something in his chest fluttered every time her voice graced his ears. 

He took his time though to head down the hallway; it was obvious she was still speaking with one of the House members even as they finished the meeting. It was a voice he hadn't recognized; a new representative perhaps. 

He stops dead in his tracks though when he finally makes out what the voice was saying.

"-And the other clan leaders as well as the house leaders think it best you are appointed someone."

"A suitor?"

The man cleared his throat, "Yes, they see it fit. The people are satisfied for now with your ruling however the clans worry that you will start to loose public support without a male figure at your side."

There no mistaking the annoyance in her voice despite how well she had tried to hide it.

"I find it highly inappropriate that a matter was discussed without consulting my council first, let alone something so personal and belittling as appointing me a consort." 

Something about her being appointed a suitor stirred something both primal and worrisome inside of him. It was but another series of events that had him questioning his decision not to stay with her all those years ago. He certainly wouldn't have to worry about her being courted by someone else, let alone have them be a proponent for marriage. 

He does his best to squash those feelings as they come though, jealously was very unbecoming of a Jedi. And in truth he really had no claim on her. As loyal as they were to one another in regards to whatever their relationship was, deep down he understood that there was always the possibility she would move on without him. And why shouldn't she? He could never give her everything he deserved. He wanted her to be happy no matter how much it was harm him. 

That said though, he knows just how much she would loathe being forced into something. 

"It's simply a matter of maintaining an effective leadership and not a personal slight against you, your grace. It's why I was slotted to attend the meeting. My influence among House Kast has been vital in the past years and has permeated throughout a number of clans and would be nothing but beneficial to you." The man says, the assurance to his tone only serving to get under Obi-Wans skin even more. 

He can sense the change of her emotions through her force signature; the sharp shift from displeased to both swelling anger and unmistakable panic.

Whoever it was that was speaking to her head only been in that meeting for one reason; to propose himself as a probable suitor to the Duchess. Part of him wanted to scoff at the notion that Satine was any less than capable of ruling Mandalore. She was a strong leader in her own right and commanded respect; the idea that she would ever need a male figure at her side to continue to win over her people was downright insulting to her capabilities. 

It took him only a second for him to decide what to do.

“They sent you to propose-” 

“Duchess.” 

He had rounded the corner just as she had begun to speak, catching both her and the house member off guard. Normally he wouldn’t dare interrupt her. She was more than capable of handling herself, but he couldn’t bare to hear anymore of the conversation. It was selfish on his part, he knew, but she would have to forgive him.

“Master Kenobi.” She says, not even bothering to hide her surprise at his sudden appearance.

“Pardon me,” He says, “I hope I’m not interrupting.”

The man was a bit younger than he had imagined; his dark eyes matching the inky color of his hair. Certainly not what he ever would have pictured. The contrast between him and Satine’s bright eyes and golden hair was striking and he couldn’t ever imagine her with someone so tenebrous.

“Of course not.” She answers quickly, “We were just finished.”

The man - whose name he has no interest in learning - looks both dejected and a touch angry. 

“Actually Duchess,” He begins, “I was hoping we’d be able to continue our conversation-”

Satine tears her eyes away from Obi-Wan and looks back to him, “Our conversation was through the moment you spoke of my ability to rule on my own. If your house has issue with it than you most certainly can address it with my council. Now if you don’t mind, I have other matters to attend too. I’m sure the guards can see you out.”

Without sparing another glance at the man she starts heading down the hallway in his direction, all but beckoning him to follow. Of course he maintains an appropriate distance from her; he couldn’t imagine the scandal it would cause if someone got wind of his occasional visits being anything more than business driven. 

He doesn’t bother asking where they’re headed; he knows the way to her chambers like the back of his hand these days. Besides, the anger from the conversation was radiating off of her so strongly that he wouldn’t have even needed the force to sense it. The tension was more than palpable.

Her chambers are quiet; the guards that would normally wander about the halls no where in sight and the moment that the doors of her private quarters slide shut behind them she grabs him briskly by the shoulders and crashes her lips to his.

Its raw and primal and just a little bit desperate, not at all what he’s used to from her but he wastes no time in cupping her face between his hands and kissing her back with just as much fire. He knows whats happening, that she’s trying to prove a point that there wasn’t anyone she would touch so scandalously but him.

“I would never even consider a consort of any kind.” She says firmly when she breaks the kiss, “Never. I am capable of leading alone and there is nobody in the galaxy I would want next to me.”

He understands the unspoken words. Nobody in the galaxy other than him. She didn’t need to say it. He knew.

He kisses her this time. He wants her to know that he understands, that perhaps they would never be able to fully belong to one another in front of anyone else, but that they have willingly given each other a piece of themselves. 

“You’re brilliant,” He assures her, “You’re strong and wise and one of the most formidable leaders I’ve ever known. They are foolish to ever doubt your ability to lead on your own.”

He can feel her force signature soften under his words and finally she manages to smile the slightest bit at him.

“Thank you, Obi-Wan.” She says lightly, before her soft smile morphs itself into a wicked grin, “It’s been too long since you’ve come to see me.”

He doesn’t even protest when she grabs his hands and drags him towards her bedroom. 

---- 

Later, hours into the night, they lay awake in her bed, his hand trailing up and down the length of her spine while she lay against his bare chest. It was the most at peace he had felt in months.

She lifts her head up and rests her chin against the center of his chest, blue eyes shining with something he doesn’t quite recognize. Something made of both happiness and sadness, perhaps?

“I’ve tried, you know.” She begins.

He merely raises an eyebrow in response. 

“To move on,” She clarifies, “I thought perhaps that one day I’d be able to find someone to else. Someone to marry and rule Mandalore by my side.”

She drops her head on its side and nuzzles it against him, her hand finding his free one and gripping it tightly, “But I could never. There is no one else, Obi-Wan, and I don’t want you to ever doubt that.”

He loves her, more than he could even begin to explain. He would never be able to be with her in all the ways she so desperately deserves, but something inside of him would break should she ever find someone new.

“There’s never been another soul in the galaxy I’ve felt about in the same way I feel about you, Satine.” He tells her gently, “There won’t ever be anyone else for me either. You’re it, and I am so dreadfully sorry I can’t be by your side in all the ways you deserve.”

She raises her head up once more to look him in the eyes, “I love you as you are, protector of the galaxy and all. And while I want you here forever, I know we made our choices for the right reasons.”

He smiles at her, “And I love you, Satine.”

It’s the first time he’s ever been able to say the words aloud. She’s always known, always understood his way of life made it difficult to say it, but here and now he wants to make sure she never has to wonder how he feels. 

Her smile lights up something inside of him and he vows then and there that once the war was over, he would be by her side. 

Always. 

[awilddreamermain]

Hi, Chels! Congratulations!! I'm so happy for you! You deserve every follower and more! That is a threat, I'm holding everyone hostage 🔪

I would love to get a MHA matchup, I wanna see who you'd match me with! Got me so curious! SFW & NSFW if you'd be willing!

My name is Chloe but I prefer May, nicknames include May-May, Maybell or Chlo.

I'm 25, pronouns are she/he, Cancer Moon, Aries Sun and Virgo Rising. Quite the weird mash of zodiacs, huh?

My favorite colors are pink (that soft pastel kinda baby pink), red (especially blood/garnet red) and...can I add pink again? Any shade of pink this time. Bubblegum or hot pink.

Favorite AU's include A/B/O, Mafia, Historical, Fantasy and does Mythical Creatures count?

Oh...oh boy, I gotta look deep for some fun facts that aren't just...facts but I'll do my best!

1) My sneezes are so short and high pitched I go "chu".

2) I have vitiligo, makes me look like a dog because it's mostly around my mouth and my right eye so I have a spot!

3) I have atrocious balance, my knees and shins are always banged up because I cannot for the life of me walk correctly.

4) I have a stutter, on top of speaking so quickly it turns into a jumbled mess. So good luck understanding what I said because I have no idea either.

5) I have a growing unicorn plush collection. My favorite is Cupcake, one that's actually taller than I am. Big chunk.

My likes are pretty simple. Cute & soft sweaters, blankets, warm coffee and strawberry milk, pastries and the cold! Winter is my favorite season. History, particularly the Medieval and Victorian times.

My interests revolve around creativity and you could say they're my hobbies as well. Drawing in particular, I used to do digital but I'm stuck with traditional pencil and paper at the moment. I'm dipping my toes into painting and its very fun! Obviously writing and reading and if I'm not doing of those listed then I'm definitely playing video games.

Personality I might say I'm quite split down the middle. At first, to a complete stranger I might come across as cold, stoic, with a resting bitch face, that just wants to get whatever I'm outside for done so I can leave. I'd create a witty or sarcastic comeback if I was given sass by a Karen but with my speech issues? I'd be lucky to get one coherent word out at her...and spend the rest of the day fantasizing what could've happened. So I'm rather quiet, agoraphobia hits hard in large or crowded places so I'm an anxiety riddled mess on the verge of a panic attack. In private or with people that I'm comfortable with? Complete opposite. Happy, bubbly, cracking puns and jokes so get those groan worthy reactions. I try to be the "mom friend" and get over my issues if someone is having it worse, I'll march up to a counter and ask for ketchup if someone wanted it but was too scared to do it themselves. The shoulder to lean and cry on, I'm highly empathetic and understanding, compassionate at times. But I have to actively try and keep myself positive and say good things about myself because I do fall into the pit of self-loathing and hate.

For appearance I'd say I'm average height, pale with white splotches that are inching larger due to my vitiligo, chubby, ashy blonde, blue eyes, button nose. I'd say I'm decently cute? I don't know if I can rate myself.

Okay I know I said I'd be looking into Zodiac compatibility for this but— I literally just screamed internally "KIRISHIMA" when I was reading this. You two would be perfect omg. This Libra king would do anything for you. For this you're an artist and the daughter of a mafia boss :) I like to think of ship names sometimes so like, yours would either be like Eijmay or Mayjirou or Kiriloe— that last one and first are awful I know so lets go with the second? I can't write a proper stutter for the life of me so I tried to keep your dialogue to the minimum.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀ Pairing: Eijirou Kirishima

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀AU: Mafia

⠀Theme Song: You're The One That I Want - Alex & Sierra

How you meet (his point of view):

⠀⠀The gallery was full of black and white suits, tight, floor length dresses with the sounds of laughter and clinking glasses meeting his ears. It was a joyous evening, celebrating the wonderful art work created by the boss's daughter. He had never met her before but he had heard whispers, all good as no one would dare slander the name of their leader's precious little girl. You were the boss's pride and joy, thus he kept you as far away from the darker side of the family business as possible.

⠀⠀Kirishima was still a new hire, a bodyguard of sorts and would consider this his first gig. He had an idea of who he was looking for as he walked further into the mass of people admiring your work but didn't expect what he would eventually come across. You were as far away from the crowd as you possibly could be, guzzling glasses of wine and over all appearing to be a deer in headlights. He couldn't fugure out for the life of him why you seemed so frightened until he watched people approach you to talk, noticing the stutter in your voice when you replied to questions and greetings,your body language telling people to stear clear of you.

⠀⠀So, he did what he was hired to do. "Kindly step away from the lady." He said with a smile, approaching with his large arms crossing over his broad chest as he towered over the guests. They looked at him as if he were a giant shark looking to devour them before scurrying away, leaving the two of you alone. He stood quietly, listening to the voices on the other side of his ear piece as his ruby eyes scanned the area around you. He made sure to not stand so close and avoided in letting his gaze wander.

⠀⠀He couldn't help but admire your skin in quick glances, finding the spot over your eye to be quite adorable. Your silky, ask blonde hair was all dolled up for the event, light make up on your face but not enough to cover the vitiligo. You were stunning and his heart hammered against his chest. So the rumors were true.

⠀⠀You thanked him, voice quiet and careful as you set down your wine glass and clasped your hands together. Out of the corner of his eye he watched you twiddle your thumbs. You didn't want to be here, did you? This obviously wasn't your idea, how could it be? A girl like you, timid as a mouse, didn't want to be surrounded by strangers. "Miss..." He began, thinking carefully because the last thing he wanted to do was piss off the boss and likely get himself killed. But this was his job wasn't it? Making sure you were happy and safe? "Would you like to leave here for a bit? We'll come back of course, but you look like you need some air."

Extra.

He ended up taking you to a drive thru restaurant and got you whatever you wanted, letting you talk about whatever you wanted or sat quietly if you chose not to talk at all If it was quiet in the suv then that was fine too, he just wanted to help you in any way he could. Eventually the silence becomes small talk and then leads to a rather deep conversation about whatever the hell was going on inside that beautiful brain of yours. Kirishima wasn't the smartest man but he wasn't stupid, he wasn't as clueless as most thought he was. You told him how your father made you do this as an attempt to get you out there, to socialize and possibly find a suitor. This was the mafia after all.

The Confession:

⠀⠀It was a tradition now, every Sunday you and Eijirou would go to your favorite café to have coffee and enjoy the early day weather before it got too hot. You sit at the same table, in the same chairs with him facing the door. You get the same drinks and food and just overall enjoy each others company. After that night at the gallery you two became fast friends, which your father obviously had to approve of but thankfully he did. Kirishima was a good man, he's trustworthy and puts you before himself.

⠀⠀The day he approached your father and asked to speak in private was the day he knew he was likely to get thrown in the deepest, darkest depths of the ocean. He has confessed his feelings for you to your old man, who listened intently with a blank face behind his desk. "Sir, I'm in love with your daughter, and with your blessing I'd like to... court her." He was utterly terrified when your father cleared his throat and sighed, shifting where he sat so he could stand and move around the desk. He reached out for a handshake which Kirishima looked up at him with a questioning look.

⠀⠀Your father gave his blessing and now... He just had to tell you, his best friend, that he loved you. God he loved you so much— "Kiri," you interrupted his thoughts, bringing him crashing back to reality," a-are you alright? You seem nervous." He swallowed hard in response but cleared his throat, taking a sip of his cappuccino.

⠀⠀"Oh yeah— definitely." He breathed with a laugh, moving a hand to the back of his neck to scratch. How was he going to say it? "So, uh—" he licked his lips, adjusting himself in his seat multiple times until he groaned and leaned forward. "Fuck, I'm just gonna say it— Maybell, I love you. I have for a long time now and I talked to your father and he said—"

⠀⠀"Said what, Eijirou?" Your eyes widened at his confession and he felt like a complete idiot. Should he had said something to you first? Was this a mistake? What if you didn't feel the same way? God his mind was going to explode—

⠀⠀"That I could... court you. With your permission." You were quick to nod and smile to his surprise, which prompted a grin if his own.

Extra.

Kirishima HAS to be facing the door in any public place you go to. I don't make the rules.

He never let's you walk close to the road, he has to be between you and it at all times when you're walking.

He oders your food and drinks for you when you can't but is there for moral support when you do. He wants you comfortable and happy. He wouldn't ever dare get in your way though, you're a lot stronger and braver than most may think you are.

The Relationship:

⠀⠀On days like this, Kirishima can't help but admire you. He catches himself staring wuite often but he just can't help it. What did he do to deserve such a beautiful partner? He looks at you and all he can think about is how much he loves you and wants to see you smile. He watched you from the kitchen island, leaning against it as you waltz around the kitchen in your pinky fuzzy slippers and one of his shirts that's much, much too big on you. He remembers your surprise when you found his clothing was actually too big on you and how happy you were.

⠀⠀"Maybell?" He hums, adjusting his stance and crossing his arms on the counter. He listened for you to him back in response, a smile on his lips. "You look so cute in my clothes.

⠀⠀You giggled, shaking your head and continued putting the dishes away until Eijirou appeared behind you, arms wrapping around your waist and his forehead coming down on your shoulder. "Need somethin' baby?" You turned your head just slightly, a brow cocked inquisitively. He squeezed you in response, swiftly lifting you and making you squeal. Thankfully you didn't have anything in your hands at the moment. He peppered kisses all over the side of your face, setting you down only to lift you again bridal style.

⠀⠀"I've got all I need right here in my arms." He chuckled and you playfully smacked his chest, letting him carry you to your shared bedroom.

Extra.

TICKLE FIGHTS.

He thinks your sneezes are the cutest thing in the world.

He loves your god awful puns, they crack him up every time.

Adores the fact you're a nurturer, especially with your friends. He thinks you'd make a great mother but if that's something you don't want he respects that.

You take care of everyone, but who takes care of you? Eijirou is always there to be your shoulder to lean and cry on, he's your sound board and is always happy to let you talk about your feelings with him. You're allowed to not be happy and bubbly all the time, he realizes how staying positive all the time can actually do more damage than goof, especially if you bottle everything up.

If on a particular day you're struggling with your speech he's happy to be your voice as well. He understands you better than anyone, even your own father.

Speaking of your father, he can't wait to make Eijirou his son-in-law! He's a good man with a good heart and treats you right, what's not to like?

He has trouble saying no to you and spoils you quite a bit.

The Fights:

...

Extra.

There's nothing, what you say goes and all he can say is "yes dear". He knows better than to argue with you, however when he's right and he knows he is, he finds a way to prove it without making you mad.

The Sex:

⠀⠀"Fuck baby—" he hissed, hands finding your hips and guiding you as you rub yourself on his cock. Your hands are on his thighs and your head is tossed back, giving him the perfect view of your tits. God he loves them, he loves the plush skin of your stomach and your thighs, your ass too, he loved seeing all of you. He was so happy that you allow him this privilege of seeing you, granted you've been dating a while now but still. Your sounds are music to his ears and all he wants is to make more, make you feel so good you're calling his name and making a mess.

He wanted— no, needed, to feel you, to feel inside your warm and wet cunt, to feel it squeeze him and milk him dry. He was quick to flip the two of you over, careful to not hurt you as he did. You gasped and giggled, reaching up to hold his face as he smiled, leaning down to capture your lips in a searing kiss. He loved your taste, he could go on and on about all the things he loved about you all day if he could. "You want it baby?" You nodded excitedly, lip caught between your teeth. He smirked and reached between the two of you, thick fingers tracing a line between your lips and slipping inside your soaked pussy.

"D-Daddy—" you whine, a slight pout on your lips as your face morphs into one of pleasure. He chuckled, pumping his fingers in and out a few times before removing them and grabbing his cock. He coated it more in your slick, guiding it between tge lips of your cunt before slowly pushing inside, groaning at how tight you are. You squeal of course, gasping for breath because Kirishima is an impressive size, you still struggled to take him sometimes but like a good girl you always managed.

"That's my good girl." He cooed, moving so his forearms were on either side of your head. He gave a couple test thrusts, waiting for you to adjust u til you nodded for him to continue.

Extra.

Terrified of activating his quirk while he's fucking you, but he keeps himself under control.

He loves his hair pulled and he loves to be bitten, he especially likes it when you scratch his back when he hits that good spot.

Eats you out for his pleasure mostly, but for yours as well. He loves when you grind on his face and moan his name when you do it. Speaking of, please sit on his face, he loves that shit. He knows how to be careful of his teeth!

If you have pets they CANNOT be in the same roon when you're doing the do, it's just weird.

He'd happily bend you over in the kitchen and do you right there. Hell, he'll fuck you anywhere you deem suitable.

He likes to do a mixture if praise and degradation with you, and edging and overstimulation is a big go-to. He just loves seeing you squirm under him, hr loves hearing you beg and say you need him.

[wearetakingthehobbitstogallifrey]

Kdrama recs Part 1

Hullo and welcome to the kdrama life @camsthisky​! The following list is not in any particular order, other than the fact that I start with a more rom/com vibe and head toward more romantic/action or action. All the following kdramas are set in the modern day, and part 2 of my recs for you will be either darker kdramas set in present day or historical dramas.

Let the list begin!

1. Strong Woman Do Bong Soon: 

Do Bong Soon is a v smol woman who has super strength and who wants 1. To create her own video game 2. Get her police officer crush to return her affections. Which like, police officer is kinda cute but he ain’t that special. Bong Soon winds up becoming a bodyguard to Ahn Min Hyuk, the extremely rich, kinda spoiled, ridiculously extra CEO of a gaming company who does not like the police for secret reasons, and sadly does not have a good relationship with his family. (He a lonely boy underneath everything.) Min Hyuk finds out about Bong Soon’s powers, is in TOTAL awe of her, offers to train her in fighting, and literally falls head over heels for her.

The caveat with this show is there is a subplot or two that annoy me, BUT I just use the 10 second skip button and it is totally worth it because the romance is super cute—SUPER CUTE (also I have a list of favorite actors and Park Hyung Sik is def on it—one minute he is an adorkable, blushing bby the next he can be intense and sad)

He cute

2. Her Private Life: 

Hello fake-dating!! Ryan Gold (an adoptee who didn’t live in Korea for a while) is a former artist who stopped painting because he couldn’t deal with his Stendhol (?) syndrome (among other traumas). Deok Mi is the classy art curator of a famous museum who definitely does not have any secrets she wants to keep from the world—well, other than the fact that she is the number one fangirl of kpop idol, Cha Shi-an (who also appreciates art) and has a major crush on him. Ryan becomes director of the art museum and there is a whole thing with getting Shi-an involved in an art show.

Following this and a series of unfortunate events a false rumor starts that Deok Mi and and Shi-an ARE dating. It’s a little complicated to summarize, but basically what you need to know is that Ryan and Deok Mi become a fake couple so there won’t be a scandal for Shi-an or violence done to Deok Mi by rabid fangirls. I enjoy the fake-dating trope a lot, and how it becomes real for both of them! The leads are played by Kim Jae Wook and Park Min Young, who both have incredible range. Lots of soft moments in this one! Good kisses, a scene where the faves bake together, and also Ryan wears a lot of deep v-neck shirts and jackets which is an attack on me personally.

The show also contains a bit of angst, which I LOVE. Hand-holding becomes an important theme 😊

RYAN NO

3. Crash Landing on You: Rich South Korean heiress/fashion designer Se-ri accidentally winds up in a North Korean village, and really REALLY wants to go home. Mostly because there are no scented candles or spa-like bathtubs in the vicinity, but also because she could easily disappear into a NK jail and never return. A North Korean captain named Ri Jeong Hyeok finds her and decides not to turn her because, one, he’s a good guy who doesn’t want to turn an innocent person over to what might be her death, and two, turning her over might get his four underlings in trouble for reasons. Said underlings are his family, basically, and they are a deLIGHT. One is an argumentative proud sort who likes to drink and to feel important and who tries to provoke (and gets provoked by) Se-ri at every opportunity, one is a lover of banned South Korean dramas, one is a 17 year old bby who misses his mom, and one is the silent but most loyal follower of the captain. 

Besides all these people, there are two other characters (including a surprisingly wise conman) who become faves and major players in the plot.

There is a great mix of humor, romance, found family, and angst, and I love it very much. A few things don’t go the way I want them to near the end, but a bit of imagination and fanfic can fix anything 

ALSO I FORGOT THE CAPTAIN GETS SUPER SULKY FROM TIME TO TIME AND IT IS HILARIOUS

Show of hands, who thinks they will meet again

4. Are You Human Too: A FAVORITE SHOW OF ALL! TIME!

What do you do when your husband dies and your evil mega-rich father-in-law takes your son away from you and keeps you from seeing him ever? Well, if you are scientist with more genius than positive coping methods, you build yourself a robot son who looks exactly like your real son. Great solution, am I right?

Nam Shin III is the name of my favorite robot son, played by the inestimable Seo Kang Joon. He is the purest bby you will ever meet, being designed so that he never lies and so that he will immediately go to hug anyone who cries. He seems quite a contrast to the bitter human Nam Shin, who hates his gilded prison life, hates his Grandpa, and tries to sneak away from his right hand man, Secretary Ji Young Hoon, his only friend in the world. The girl in the show is Kang So Bong, an ex-UFC fighter who was so badly injured she had to quit. She is at first a bit jaded and mercenary because of her past, but she has a golden heart that just needs to be reminded of its existence.

Not going into details to avoid spoilers, but everything upends when the robot Nam Shin has to take the place of the human Nam Shin. The show is a soft, funny, angsty exploration of what it means to be human, with some good found family throughout. The character development is phenomenal, and the connection between So Bong and Nam Shin III is *chef’s kiss*. I just want to give a shout out to Seo Kang Joon who plays a duel role like you wouldn’t believe, to SKJ’s smile, to the soundtrack, and to the character of Young Hoon, a loyal, steady, and self-sacrificing secretary that we do not deserve  (gosh tho he looks good in blue!)

Look at my robot son getting a long-looked for affirmation! (his lil smile!!!

5. W: Two Worlds: 

This show unique because it  meta as HELL! Oh Yeon Joo is a junior doctor and the daughter of a webtoon artist whose big hit, W, is coming to a close. Much to her surprise, she gets pulled into the world of the comic where she encounters and saves the main character, Kang Chul, a former Olympic shooting champion who was blamed for the murder of his entire family, and whose sole desire is to find the real killer. It’s a good romance between them, and I also love Kang Chul’s relationship with his hyung, which, tho it is not always a main focus, is present and wonderful. Kang Chul himself is both intelligent and adorably bratty, charismatic and angsty, soft and fierce, and he is one of my favorite kdrama characters for sure.

As for the meta, the show does a fantastic job exploring the rules of the comic world, of how one can enter and leave, the importance and power of main characters and supporting characters, and the purpose of an author. There is always another twist coming, and it is just so much fun!

UM SIR PLS POINT THAT ELSEWHERE

6. Healer: 

I watched half this show and never realized that the female lead is played by Park Min Young, same actress as in Her Private Life. Someone had to tell me lol! She’s just so good at playing different people. In this show, she is Chae Young Shin, a reporter for a celebrity tabloid who has big dreams of becoming a famous reporter who investigates stories that actually mean something. She is a bit quirky, very cute, very brave, and probably one of my favorite female leads. She lives with her dad above his coffee/teashop bakery and is friends with all the ex-cons he has defended while doing his other job of lawyering.

Anyway this show is more of a romantic/action drama. To get an idea of the titular Healer, picture what you would get if you took some of Batman and Nightwing’s aesthetics (wearing black, hanging out on rooftops, punching people, flipping around, etc) and put them into a night courier who likes to watch National Geographic and dream about one day going off to an island where he can live all by himself for the rest of his days because oh yeah he is a loner whose only friend is an older woman who sets up his jobs and whom he has never actually met.

There is also an older reporter that Young Shin looks up to, the fun tabloid office where she works, a heck lot of mystery surrounding some tragedy involving a group of reporter best friends/found family back in the 80’s/90’s, and of course both members of the OTP have childhood trauma that has made them who they are today. One of my favorite things that happens in the show is that Healer has to go undercover for a while, Clark Kenting it up in Young Shin’s tabloid office, which overnight becomes a real news agency for reasons.

The action is LOTS of fun, and the romance is really soft and cute, and better still, when there is a misunderstanding or something that gets in their way, they almost immediately talk about it and resolve issues. They TRUST each other and give the benefit of the doubt where many tv couples would break up or get in big fights. I find it (plus the character development) very refreshing.

I couldn’t find a gif of my favorite fight sadly. This will have to do

7. Lawless Lawyer: This has Lee Joon Gi. Watch it.

Just kidding, there are many other reasons to watch the show, but it is true that Lee Joon Gi is one of my favorite actors. The man has phoenix eyes, a jawline that could cut silk, diamonds, you name it, and such a deep well of emotional acting that it literally kills me when his characters rage/weep/love/etc.

Anyway, in this legal thriller/romance/action drama, LJG’s character Bong Sang Pil is a beautiful, very extra ex-gangster/now lawyer who opens his own office, ready to fight villainy and avenge his mom with the law or with his fists, whichever is more useful at the time. He has a right hand man named Manager Tae and recruits a bunch of thugs as his minions, and they all become a weird sort of family as the show goes on.

Ha Jae Yi is a quiet badass lawyer who has no time for sexist idiots and gets her license suspended for smacking one of said fools. She gets recruited to assist Sang Pil, and they find their goals align as both their mothers were destroyed by the villains.

Speaking of the villains? EXCELLENT acting by them all, like they need to go down obviously, but you can’t help but be in awe of a few of them or even get attached to one or two in a weird way. Props to the show for having one of the best female villains I have ever seen

What an icon

Here you get two gifs of him

Sorry I needed to make it a magical three lol

~~

Tune in next time for historical dramas and modern dramas that are a bit darker!

[reachexceedinggrasp]

So the majority of the shows I’ve seen lately can be charitably described as ‘light entertainment’, including the ones with dark elements or more weighty, ponderous plots. They might be entertaining or interesting, they just... don’t stand up to scrutiny. Turn your brain off because this isn’t that carefully or skilfully made and you’ll only be annoyed if you start thinking about it as a whole. Including the last couple 'tragic’ historical dramas I’ve watched, which were not effective tragedy for that very reason. If you’re going to kill off the main cast, you have to earn it, and overwhelmingly writers don’t. Anyway, I’ve been getting despondent about whether stories which actually hang together and form a coherent narrative unit with consistent themes are the exception rather than the rule.

(And I feel like that should be a pretty low standard to meet, it’s sort of Step 1 of ‘being a story’: be about something! Communicate something, no matter how basic it is. Dead simple stories with rock basic messages can be revelatory! Just do it well!)

I’ve seen very little genuinely focussed or meaningful storytelling in my ventures for what feels like a long time. Basically, I can kind of count on one hand the number of films or dramas or whathaveyou I’ve seen from the last few years where it felt like the filmmakers were in complete control of their story and everything in it was purposeful and intentional. Most things have felt slapdash or shallow or fleeting. Story elements and character choices come out of nowhere just to derail already concluded arcs and fill screen time with empty repetitious drama, not to serve a meaningful narrative purpose. I would be watching with zero confidence anything in particular was going anywhere or that the writers knew where that should be. It’s just throwing shit at the wall, fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants type writing all the time and it fucking shows.

But then I watched Money Flower.

Money Flower is different. Money Flower is towering head and shoulders above every modern drama I’ve ever seen. Titanically good writing which rises above its genre and makes conventions seem radically new and fresh not by reinventing them or deconstructing them, but by playing them straight, taking them seriously, and committing 1000%. This is all your familiar rich family tropes but with masterpiece execution, infused with consequence and meaning because they’re all driven by the psychology of complex three-dimensional characters. So many moving pieces and none of them are random or unmotivated. Just... GOOD WRITING. And I want to make the point that it is this wherein art lives. The difference between a rank Lifetime movie and Romeo and Juliet is not novelty or tropes or plot twists- it’s execution.

This show is such a perfect example that it is not ‘mere events’ (aka plot) or novelty or shock value or cool ideas which separates something brilliant and timeless from forgettable schlock; it is solely and entirely execution. It’s writing itself, if you know what I mean. You can describe many of Shakespeare’s tragedies and history plays as soap opera plots. What makes Macbeth a deathless masterwork and Death Wish Hollywood wank isn’t a fundamental difference in subject or genre. It’s Shakespeare’s characterisation and purposeful storytelling. It’s the poetry of the dialogue. It’s the craft of writing. Most of Shakespeare’s plots are based on existing stories or on historical events and that has never mattered because novelty is not an inherent good or of any inherent artistic value.

Like, this is the problem with storytelling right now blah blah GOT, shitty endings everywhere etc. because power over the audience (can’t let anyone guess the plot, looking ‘clever’ with meaningless callbacks) and novelty are valued over narrative structure or things making sense or emotional verisimilitude. We have so many writers thinking being ‘shocking’ is all it takes to be a genius. It’s easy to be shocking if your story makes no goddamn sense because things that don’t make sense are literally unpredictable. Not in a good way, though. A great twist or sudden swerve needs to be unexpected but inevitable in hindsight or it does not work. I should be able to rewatch your thing and think ‘oh, of course! you can see it was [x] all along!’

We have so many popular writers now who are so shallow they don’t think anything needs to make sense on a character or emotional level. They don’t think their story has to be about anything. Substance is irrelevant as long as the surface is flashy enough. That has no staying power, you can only watch it once and you will forget about it quickly.

However, if you have ever wanted to experience the constant heightened stakes and High Drama of a soap opera without being annoyed at how ridiculous it all is and while actually giving a shit about the characters because they feel like real human beings, if you’ve wanted to feel repercussions when characters make choices, and get the emotional payoff that is the entire point of drama- now you can. Watch Money Flower. And let me tell you, it is fucking riveting. This show is mostly made up of people sitting in rooms talking and yet it is heart-pounding excitement nearly every episode. It is profoundly traditional and by the book while being totally fresh. It’s the most engrossing and satisfying artistic experience I’ve had in a long time.

Like, THE TENSION, THE DRAMA, THE REVEALS!!! You can, in fact, spend most of 24+ hours on the edge of your seat about family problems and business mergers. It seems unlikely, but that is the power of this series, it creates insanely high stakes and mesmerising suspense out of the most commonplace ingredients. Familiar plot elements become brand new and surprising under the deftness and tightness of this narrative. The plot itself is certainly 100% melodrama but it never feels like a soap opera and is never ever soapy in in a pejorative sense because it handles its classic tropes with such maturity and nuance that it's like you've never seen them before. The writing is incredible.

It is on an entirely different level than the vast majority of dramas, with a total self-assurance that keeps the pacing relentless yet unhurried- taking its time to let the impact of events be felt, the narrative always knowing exactly where it’s going and how to get there. The characters are all multi-faceted and unpredictable without ever being incoherent, their motives and goals always being gradually uncovered in more detail that only makes the storytelling and characterisation even tighter, even richer. The twists and cliffhangers are always mind-blowing but always earned, never cheap or nonsensical, and I can't remember ever thinking that about another show. (There’s literally one exception towards the very end where something a bit random happens for reasons of pure symbolism- it’s a misstep imo but it’s minor in the scheme of things)

Every time I started to doubt the writing, started to think ‘oh no, they’re going off the rails’, they showed me I was wrong and they were in total control. The only 'problem' with the show is that the drama is also profoundly painful to watch unfold, particularly in the beginning, because it's a story where everyone makes terrible life choices and moral corruption is everywhere. It's hypnotic though, like a car crash. If you can handle something dark, insidious, cerebral, and character-driven there is nothing I've seen in the same vein that can approach its brilliance. It’s like The Magnificent Ambersons as a slick modern revenge drama. There is also (PRECIOUSLY!!) a core of stunning romanticism around which all the horrors revolve and that saves it from becoming hideous or cynical. There is a chance for redemption and a new beginning after all, in spite of all appearances.

The ending has apparently been controversial, and it is definitely not quite as climatic as you would have expected given how powerfully climatic almost every regular episode is, but it's a good ending. There isn't full closure, they don't provide final resolution in a bow, but to me it's an ending about hope. It suggests optimism for our characters and I was satisfied with that. It's extremely rare for a 'revenge story’ to allow this kind of room for healing and it can do that because, imo, we discover in the end that it wasn't ultimately vengeance in Pil Joo’s heart. He has not become a tragic hero who will be consumed by the cannibalistic darkness of revenge, his quest was for justice. He teeters on the edge of the abyss but he avoided falling in; he didn't sell his soul, at least not irrevocably.

He is nonetheless a very tragic figure and an anti-hero, but despite having dedicated his life to bringing down the Jang cabal, it’s not that he’ll stop at nothing. He will make any personal sacrifice no matter how desolate, he lives as a mere husk of a man, and he facilitates enormous emotional harm to others in service of his goals, but he has ethical hard lines he never considers crossing. His sense of decency and compassion is never extinguished; he does care about the collateral damage he is causing even when making justifications for it. It’s important to him to give people as much agency as possible in their choices, to mitigate the damage done by his schemes as much as he can. To try to prevent harm coming to undeserving bystanders. Not that this makes it okay that he uses people, which he does, but the point is he never completely surrenders his moral compass to avarice. He’s never okay with burning down the world or ruining innocent lives just to get to his target.

Pil Joo is less a vigilante and more an avenging angel, he wants justice more than retribution. He wants fairness and a better, safer world where what has happened to his family won’t happen again. The reason this story never becomes Sweeney Todd (aka: a full on tragedy where we see the inevitable outcome of lust for revenge) and the reason he can survive twenty years spent pursuing someone’s downfall is exactly that principle. Searching for retribution would have destroyed him, he would have become the very thing he hated, but instead he goes as far as necessary to publicly expose the Jangs for what they are and then willingly submits to penance for his complicity in their crimes and tries to atone with the people he hurt along the way. Purged, he’s symbolically reborn and takes back his real name to maybe finally have a chance at the life he should have had. He moves on, content, a positive force. He’s capable of healing from the ordeal because he realises he doesn’t need retaliation, just seeing them stopped and facing consequences for their actions is enough.

The love story is a superbly poignant part of this. Their love is the ‘victim’ of his revenge and it will forever be impacted by it, but it’s not something that can be killed, so there’s still hope. Mo Hyeon’s bookending rescues of Pil Joo from death mean first that he has a purpose he must fulfil and then the second time that he has freedom to finally live as himself, for himself. There’s a future. And maybe they can be together there. I’m emo about it.

Anyway, if there was the slightest doubt about me becoming a long-term Jang Hyuk fangirl, it’s been put to rest. This performance is easily one of the best I’ve ever seen, period. No contest it’s the best I’ve seen in a tv drama. It’s also the most subtle and masterful turn he's delivered in his whole career. He's so restrained, but he is giving absolutely everything; he has total control over every microexpression, every gesture, every molecule in his body. There is so much simmering under his surface, so much going on in his eyes; the layers and depths are endless. The intensity and sharp intellectual focus he brings to the character is breathtaking. Everyone else is doing amazing work too, but he is almost constantly on screen and has this spectacular command of such a sprawling story, such a complex character, and he makes it look effortless. All artifice has melted away. The fact that being so tightly contained is in stark contrast to the bombastic element in many of his other roles renders its delicate precision even more startlingly impressive. I thought he was a great actor before, but I didn’t fully appreciate what he was capable of until Pil Joo.

[happymeishappylife]

Prep for the 60th: 2nd Season of Doctor Who

“One day, I shall come back. Yes, I shall come back. Until then, there must be no regrets, no tears, no anxieties. Just go forward in all your beliefs, and prove to me that I am not mistaken in mine.”

The second season of Doctor Who begins to introduce us to the fundamental concept of Doctor Who and that is change. This season we begin to see why change makes the show work and makes the show last. But of course there are tears, smiles, and memories that established with every departure and yet excitement over the possibilities that can now come with fresh faces and voices. So beginning with the TARDIS team, this is how the season started:

(From left: The Doctor, Ian Chesterton, Susan Foreman, and Barbara Wright)

And this is the TARDIS team jumping into season three:

(From left: Vicki, The Doctor, and Steven Taylor)

With the departures of Susan, Ian, and Barbara, we get a fresh new start to what it means to be a TARDIS team and travel with the Doctor. And one of things Classic Who does really well in my opinion is the blending of teams as people leave and join the team, plus there aren’t catastrophic moments when a companion departs even if you might not like it (like I did with Susan). Still with a fresh TARDIS team, let’s introduce the new companions.

Vicki Pallister is a sixteen year old girl from Earth from the 25th century. She is rescued by the Doctor, Ian, and Barbara after her spacecraft crash lands on the planet Dido and she is lied to by a convict who has killed the rest of the crew, including Vicki’s father, to avoid being locked up again. Thankfully, she gets picked up by the Doctor who fresh off the emotions of leaving his real granddaughter behind, takes Vicki lovingly into his world.

Steven Taylor, is also from the future though its unclear which era exactly he comes from. He is found on the planet Mechanus where after crash landing, he has been held prisoner by the Mechanoids for over two years on his own. Once he meets the Doctor, Barbara, Ian, and Vicki, he gets energized to escape, but its chaotic when the Daleks start battling the Mechanoids. So at first you don’t think he makes it into the TARDIS, but after one serial, I’m glad he stole away because he’s a fun guy to get to know.

The serials:

1. Planet of Giants

This serial introduces the first instance where something wrong can happen to the TARDIS and the team has to deal with it in whatever situation they find themselves in. In this case, something affects the TARDIS’ materialization that causes the TARDIS to not fully materialize at its full size, but instead at a miniature level. So while the Doctor and Susan are climbing sink drains and Ian and Barbara are dealing with giant insects and insecticide, what the team doesn’t realize is they inadvertently help prevent this extremely toxic chemical from going to the market by being present while full size humans are murdering each other over money. Overall Rating: 7/10

2. The Dalek Invasion of Earth

The Daleks have conquered Earth in the year 2164 and are in the process of extracting the core of the planet and replacing it with a machine to allow them to pilot the planet. It’s a crazy plan, but even though they’ve conquered Earth and enslaved humans to force slavery onto other humans, there entire plan falls apart when the TARDIS lands and the team finds ways to stop them and embolden the humans of Earth. But this is the first episode of goodbyes because the Doctor makes the decision to leave Susan behind so that she can explore her wish to belong somewhere and follow her dreams without him. Overall Rating: 8/10

3. The Rescue

The Doctor is surprised when they land on the planet Dido, a place he’s been before, that the inhabitants are gone and in there place is a few monsters and a crashed spaceship. He then helps discover the true reason for this, that Koquillion isn’t a true resident of Dido, but Bennet who has not only killed his crew and some of the Dido people in order to be rescued by Earth and not still be convicted of his previous crimes. Foiling his plan, the Doctor also takes Vicki Pallister into the TARDIS once she tells them she’s been orphaned due to Bennet’s actions. Plus missing his granddaughter, the Doctor immediately latches onto Vicki who is need of care. Overall Rating: 8/10

4. The Romans

After leaving Dido, the team takes a break in ancient Italy enjoying a month’s vacation in an empty house and living life of Romans. But eager for adventure the Doctor and Vicki set off for Rome and quickly get caught up in the affairs of Cesar Nero’s court when the Doctor is mistaken for a famed musician. But instead of continued life in luxury, Ian and Barbara get kidnapped for a slave trader, Ian going to hard labor in a boat and Barbara to the court of Cesar Nero as the Empress’ pretty handmaid. Ian of course breaks few and chases after her and there’s a great sequence of all four being in close proximity and never seeing each other. Plus we learn the Doctor is the reason behind Cesar Nero’s idea for burning down all of Rome. Overall Rating: 10/10

5. The Web Planet

I know this is one of the beloved serial from Classic Who, but I’m sorry, I can’t. Between the constant beeping of the Zarbi, the weird speaking and hand motions of the Menoptra, and the bizarre enemy of the Animus who makes webs but is some ethereal being, I just can’t get on board with it. Plus while the scattering of the companions in other episodes is okay, this one just feels unnecessary and ridiculous when the final scene is all four coming together in the Animus chamber to then defeat it. Plus, how do any of these creatures actually live and breathe on this planet? Overall Rating: 3/10

6. The Crusade

Having just recently read the book novelization of this serial, I was happy to rewatch it again, though it is disappointing that two of the episodes are missing. The show itself tells a good story of how the TARDIS team lands in the middle of the crusades, explores the two factions between Richard the Lionheart and Saladdin, but also was just a good watch this snippet of history and don’t get too involved with the major events. Sure Barbara is captured and the story revolves around Ian rescuing her, but for the most part the TARDIS team takes a backseat as we explore Richard’s weariness to go home and his trials to try and end these long wars. Overall Rating: 8/10

7. The Space Museum

This is the second serial that explores the problem of something weird happening to the TARDIS, when it materializes a few moments ahead of it actually physically materializing and gives the team a glance at a possible future in which the four are turned into exhibits for the space museum they stumble upon. Fearful of accidentally ending up this way, they instead find themselves running from the keepers of the museum and in Vicki’s case, starting a revolution against them to try and prevent the outcome. It’s one of the more suspenseful early stories, mainly because the Doctor almost does get turned into nothing but a model, but also when he does sneak inside an empty Dalek shell to escape his captors, we see that silly side of him come out. Overall Rating: 9/10

8. The Chase

In probably the most confusing Dalek story ever, we go on quite the journey to avoid the Dalek’s chase of the TARDIS team. It starts on the planet Aridius, ends on the planet Mechanus, and somehow manages to go to New York for the first time, the Mary Celeste ship, and a haunted horror house where Frankenstein destroys a Dalek. We do learn some interesting things about the Daleks and the TARDIS in this episode, but its also notable for two reasons. The first is we meet Steven Taylor and though its unclear, we learn in the next episode he steals away on the TARDIS to avoid being stuck on Mechanus. The second is it’s the serial where Barbara and Ian leave the TARDIS once they realize the Daleks’ time machine can get them back to London in their own time. Overall Rating: 6/10

9. The Time Meddler

We meet another Gallifreyan and the first besides the Doctor and Susan when the Doctor lands just before the Battle of Hastings. We also learn more about the Doctor’s people (though not their species or planet yet) and that there are principles to Time Travel which the Monk has no issue exploiting for his own amusement, but the Doctor is strict about. This leads to the Doctor finding ways to prevent the Monk’s plan of destroying the invading Viking fleet while also removing a key component in the Monk’s TARDIS so he can’t meddle through time anymore. Overall Rating: 9/10

Adding to our previous lists, items in bold are things we learned in Season 2:

Historical Figures:

Marco Polo

Kublai Khan

Maximillen Robespierre

Napoleon Bonaparte

Ceasar Nero

King Richard the Lionheart

Things we learn about the Doctor:

Pioneer among gallifreyans

Ian only refers to one heart being okay “his heart is okay”

Knows three dimensional graph geometry

Things I’ve learned about the TARDIS:

It has a computer that reads and feed data to compute information about where to go next

It has a food generator where you pick flavors to be added to a nutrient bar

The lock comes away from the door and has 27 different mechanisms, getting one wrong might melt the lock

Field dimensions can be damaged by breaking down doors

The TARDIS is made of material that is impervious to Dalek shots

The Doctor does not have a Mark 4

Things we learn about Gallifrey:

It’s quite like Earth, but at night the sky burns orange and the leaves on the trees are a bright silver

Timelords we meet:

The Monk

People the Doctor has supposedly met before:

Pyrrho

Henry VIII

James Watt

[96thdayofrage]

Going into the 2020 elections, Democrats had high hopes that Joe Biden would win the presidential contest by enough of a margin to ensure solid Democratic majorities in Congress. That was a pretty big deal: After all, in a period of interconnected public-health and economic crises, having one of our two highly polarized parties in a position to get legislation through Congress provided a much better prospect for effective governance than the bipartisanship everyone supports in principle but no one (least of all today’s Republicans) actually practices.

As it happens, Democrats did manage to pull off a trifecta (just as Republicans did in 2016), but by the narrowest possible margins. That outcome, alongside the existence of the Senate filibuster, has forced President Biden to pursue the cramped and complicated budget reconciliation process to enact his initial agenda, with all the perverse implications that come with it (e.g., exclusion of a $15 minimum wage by the Senate parliamentarian). And hanging over every decision Democrats make is the historical probability that they will lose one or both houses of Congress in the 2022 midterms.

If it feels like we’ve lived in this sort of gridlock for a good while, it’s because we have, as Lee Drutman observes at FiveThirtyEight:

[T]he period we find ourselves in now is unique in that the national partisan balance of power is extremely close (with control of national government up for grabs in almost every cycle), even as most states and most voters are either solidly Democratic or Republican. What’s more, the national outcome often hinges on just a few swing states and districts. This period is also unique in the extent to which America is divided. Hatred toward the other party drives our politics. This produces a deeply polarizing and highly destructive form of partisan trench warfare that threatens to erode the very legitimacy of American democracy.

There was a moment, after the 2008 elections, when prophecies abounded that America might support an enduring Democratic majority on the wings of a new “Obama coalition” that would just get larger as younger cadres of citizens began voting. The 2010 midterm disaster for Democrats dashed those hopes, which were briefly revived after 2018, at least so long as it appeared Biden was going to crush Trump in a landslide. No such luck.

As Cook Political Report’s Amy Walter reminds us, today’s volatility is relatively new:

Democrats controlled the House for 40 straight years from 1954 until 1994. Democratic control of the Senate lasted uninterrupted for 25 years—from 1955 to 1980. From 1952 until 1988, Republicans won 7 of 10 presidential elections. This is the era in which many of my peers (and those who mentored me) were raised …

Today, most of those who work in politics don’t know of a time when control of the House, Senate and/or White House wasn’t up for grabs.

Drutman compares the current era to another period of gridlock and polarization: the late 19th-century Gilded Age. From 1876 until 1896, “at least one institution [House, Senate or the White House] changed partisan hands in eight out of 10 elections.” As is happening now, voter turnout was very high with virtually every election having big consequences for partisans. And political contests were intense and even bitter, particularly in the few swing states (typically New York and Indiana) that determined election outcomes more often than not. That sounds familiar, too. Even one of the Gilded Age’s great anomalies — the nonsequential presidencies of Grover Cleveland — is back in the news lately, as defeated President Donald Trump is talking about a 2024 comeback, with even Republicans who don’t like the idea (such as Mitch McConnell and Brian Kemp) quickly saying they will support him if he is, as seems likely should he actually run, the party nominee.

But there is one aspect of today’s polarized gridlock that is unlike that of the Gilded Age, as Drutman notes: In the late 1800s, “the two parties didn’t actually stand for all that much — a stark contrast from today’s politics, where the major parties have distinct policies on a host of national issues.”

The Gilded Age began when sharp partisan differences over the consequences of the Civil War (e.g., whether to impose Black political and economic rights, not just freedom from slavery, on a former Confederacy where white terrorism challenged any sort of equality) had been resolved by the Compromise of 1877, in which Republicans abandoned Reconstruction in order to secure the presidency for Rutherford B. Hayes, who favored an end to Reconstruction in any event. After that fateful bipartisan deal, partisan differences mostly involved tariff policies and patronage until the era ended with the emergence of a Populist movement that realigned both parties and eventually led to a long period of Republican dominance.

Today’s polarized gridlock is arguably more like that of the 1850s, in which the fundamental differences over slavery policy and a hundred related issues created close elections but an overall atmosphere of great turbulence, eventually leading, of course, to an insurrection and a bloody military conflict.

The 1850s precedent illustrates one way out of the current quandary: no, not necessarily a civil war, but a realignment of the major parties that shakes up allegiances and perhaps creates a new and more stable majority (like the one that Republicans enjoyed for a while when secession and then Reconstruction took much of the white rebel South out of the picture).

Today’s Republicans are thought by some as likely to rupture decisively over the “conservative populist” white-nationalist producerism represented by Trump, though my guess is that the GOP Establishment will either surrender to a Trump-led purge of dissenters or co-opt the MAGA movement the way they co-opted the Tea Party movement earlier. Meanwhile, some Democratic “populists” think it’s long past time to conduct a purge of “Wall Street Democrats” of their own, aimed in part at a party realignment that might bring back white working-class voters to the Donkey banner.

More likely than a realignment is some crucial partisan victory on issues that directly affect the partisan balance, most notably voting rights, where very obviously the two parties (Republicans mostly operating at the state level and Democrats at the national level) are moving in opposite directions in ways that could significantly affect the size and shape of the electorate in the near future. And there is always the possibility that objective reality will bust up a gridlocked system, as the Great Depression brought the post–Gilded Age Republican majority to a crashing end when the GOP proved unable to manage the crisis.

If, despite all these possibilities, today’s political environment continues, then we can look forward to more high-stakes elections with disputed outcomes, less consistent governance, and the kind of fury that makes bipartisanship even less likely than big differences on major issues already does. America needs a good landslide or two, and if either party (or in theory, a new party) can produce that breakthrough, it could be in power for a good long time.

[nancydrew428]

Nancy Drew Game Ideas

Plot Ideas:

Anarchanoid -

I've always wanted a nancy drew game similar to episode 3 of Sherlock, where she has to solve a mystery quick as every hour or so someone else gets killed. It would add a lot of tension and having people killed in different areas would be a good way to add more areas to investigate as the game goes on.

Anonymous -

A storyline involving a Serial Killer would be pretty dark. Particularly if they killed somebody close to Nancy.

Celiaeqqus -

I came up with an idea for a fan fic (and I really need to get around to writing it), where Nancy is kidnapped by some baddies who've heard about how good she is at solving mysteries. Who told them this? Dwayne Powers, who still has the map from RAN and is using a gang to get Nancy to help him find the treasure. Other prisoners alongside Nancy would be Henrik, since he's doing glyph translations, maybe Prudence Rutherford or Charlena Purcell, since they both have encyclopaedic knowledge about certain parts of history. If they did this as a game, maybe the player could get a chance to play as the other captives, so the majority of it isn't set in Nancy's cell. Of course, in the fan fic we'd see other characters from all over... maybe Nancy could have a TV in the room and sees reports of her family and friends - and people she's helped on past cases - doing their damnedest to find her?

@detectivecatsuitdrew (post) -

Nancy Drew: Music of the Unknown

Nancy and Ned travel to Austria for a long overdue vacation. They have a romantic evening planned at a historic music hall to watch a famous conductor direct an enchanting, almost hypnotizing concerto she wrote herself. Half way through the concerto, the harmony turns to cacophony, the conductor passes out, and the lights go out. Rumors about the conductor fly around the theatre as the show pauses at an early intermission. Some people think the conductor is losing it. Maybe the conductor has pushed themselves too far. Maybe the conductor has a secret no one knows about. Nancy can’t help but feel there’s something more sinister afoot.

Although she promised Ned that there’d be no mysteries on their vacation, she can’t help but be pulled in by the music’s call. Can Nancy help the conductor before she’s pushed too far? Will this mystery break Nancy and Ned’s relationship? Go to Austria to find out. The music of the unknown is calling.

Detectivecatsuitdrew -

Nancy Drew: Mystery of the Vampire’s Curse

Nancy’s investigated werewolves, monsters, mummies, and all sorts of ghosts, so it’s time to head to Romania to investigate a vampire.

Nancy accompanies Carson on a trip to a small town in Transylvania, Romania to pick up a few documents and look into a few things for one of Carson’s clients. It’s the perfect chance to explore a quaint little town and  catch up on some father-daughter bonding time. All of that flies out the window when Nancy herself gets kidnapped! Some of the locals say there’s an actual vampire plaguing the town. Could that possibly be true?

Switch back and forth between Nancy and Carson to figure out who took Nancy and why, and more importantly, find out where she is before it’s too late. The stakes have never been higher, and the consequences of failing never more deadly.

Detectivecatsuitdrew -

Nancy Drew: The Secret in the Vineyard

When a vineyard’s owner dies, there’s no suspicion of foul play. The youngest child of the late owner, however, isn’t convinced. He calls on Nancy Drew to investigate. Her presence ruffles the feathers of the two older siblings. As the tension rises in the house, Nancy concludes that the coroner was right; the vineyard’s owner died by natural causes.

However, there’s a bigger mystery at hand. After learning the vineyard was used as a set in a film made in the 1950s, a film plagued with mishaps and even a crime that ended the film’s production, Nancy learns that the late owner may have taken a secret to the grave. Can Nancy solve a decade’s old crime? Are there other secrets hiding in this vineyard? Travel to Northern California to find out!

Detectivecatsuitdrew -

Nancy Drew: The Asylum Ghost

Nancy isn’t surprised to hear from her friend, Savannah Woodham. She is surprised, however, when she asks her to be her assistant for a new venture. Nancy travels to an old abandoned asylum alongside Savannah as Savannah serves as an expert in a new documentary, directed by John Grey from TRN of all people.

Nancy learns about one of the most infamous patients at the asylum, a woman labeled “Crazy Mary.” As John Grey’s crew works to capture footage and hauntings, Nancy conducts her own investigation alongside Savannah. Both women just know there’s something more to Mary’s story than history’s telling. Can Nancy set the past right?

Detectivecatsuitdrew -

Nancy Drew: The Note in the Sanctuary

Nancy decides to take some time to volunteer at an animal sanctuary with Bess and George. Everything is going smoothly until, one night, there’s a break-in! Someone tries to steal one of the animals, but why? To sell the animal on the black market? To keep it as a pet? Or is the sanctuary not as reputable as it seems?

With the help of her friends, Nancy has to figure out who’s behind the attempted crime before they strike again. More importantly, she needs to know the truth to make sure she’s doing what she originally volunteered to do: take care of the animals and make sure they’re safe.

Fashion77 -

Nancy could be flying to or from River Heights (whichever) and the plane could crash! The mystery could be to find out what caused the crash, find her missing friends (they were in the plane crash too), and/or find her way out of they jungle they crashed in (with no food or water she would only have so much time to survive)!

The Key Clue :) -

[They explained how the first game would end, so I put that under “Ending Ideas.”]

OK, so for the second game, it picks up where we left off and we learn a little more about what happened. The plane's been hijacked and unless Nancy is able to retrieve a device from a representative of the Australian branch of Krolmeister that's being sent to the US for testing, "her fellow passengers will pay the price." Nancy is told that they've brought enough fuel on the plane to allow them to stay up in the air for days and also have a secret island they'll be hovering around where they can refuel. They also disabled the device on the plane that allows them to be tracked before the plane took off. So the second game is basically Nancy being the only one who knows what's going on, has to tell the other passengers a reason made up by the hijackers for the odd event, and find and essentially steal this hidden device for them. If she succeeds, everyone will be OK and the plane will go back on course home. She has to hurry up, or else everyone (including air traffic control) will get suspicious. If any passengers find out what's going on, the hijackers cover will be blown. This whole event is supposed to be a secret from Krolmeister. If she contacts the police in any way, she'll suffer the consequences. I figure though that she can somehow reason with the hijackers to let her phone her friends for help, as long as they don't contact the police. They do tell Nancy, however, that if the police show up anywhere near them, "everyone will suffer the consequences." So Nancy is in a situation where she has to comply.

Likealonewolf -

I'm partial to Sweden because it's the only place I've been outside of the U.S. There's a lot of fun cultural things they could put in there. Lots of yummy pastries and deserts too. Maybe Nancy could have to pose as a volunteer at an open air museum similar to Skansen? That way they could have cute animals and incorporate the different parts of the country into one game without excessive travel. And there is train travel that Nancy could utilize. Also, it would actually make sense for the local characters to speak English because most Swedes can speak English.

Mardropkick -

I want another game similar to Phantom of Venice where you get to do a lot of undercover work, but make it be into some sort of organization. Ooh! maybe you have to go undercover as part of an organization to learn its secrets and spy on them for someone else.

Mardropkick -

The other thing that would be cool is a National Treasure type game where you had to travel to different locations, but make the background and story line darker. Maybe something about an unsolved case?

MississippiJoel -

A human trafficking theme.

Nancy is called to investigate the disappearance of a cute teenaged girl, snatched from the streets in a third world country.

As she digs deeper, she meets escaped former slaves from a shadow organization that kidnaps people and forces them into hard labor. Eventually, she sneaks into a labor camp, frees the girl, finds the diamonds the slaves were searching for (think Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom), they have a daring escape, and Nancy presents convincing evidence to the authorities of the existence of the kidnappers, leading to the liberation of the camp and the prosecution of the criminals.

I think that would be the perfect way to raise awareness of modern slavery, and would lend itself to the perfect amount of danger while telling the story in a compelling way.

Nanfanhan -

[Playing as the culprit] Let's say this is ICE you're playing. You have a checklist, but nothing else. You are out in the mountains, with a bomb. When you check your checklist, it says {} Let loose bomb on Avalanche Hill. {} Make sure no one gets suspicious. You can't see any part of yourself, or hear your voice, and you don't have money, inventory, other suspects around, or a cell phone, so you can't tell who you are. [What, you thought you'd know who you were?] You put down the bomb in the designated spot, then it goes... ..........EXPLOSION NOISE.......... [You switch to Nancy] "What was that noise?" And so on.

Pandaplusbunny -

If I had to write a darker-than-usual story, I'd probably make it something that affects more than just the characters in the story. A threat of bioterrorism (similar to the plot of Inferno maybe?) or a huge corporate or government scandal that could rock the nation/economy. I guess just make it more of a realistic threat instead of "Oo a spooky ghost!"

The problem is that tension is immediately dissolved when Nancy is sent on errands. They need to keep the thread going, with Nancy commenting, "I better get this task done or else xyz!"

Rrieger -

It's gonna sound horrible when I word it this way, but I'd love to see the target be an old fan favorite character instead of someone close to Nancy. Like, if they offed one of the cowboys from Secret of Shadow Ranch. I think this type of plot would serve a few points -- more emotional investment = more motivation to solve the game, a familiar place for old fans would bring that touch of nostalgia that sells so well, and new fans would want to play the old game to understand the whole deal. Win win win

Sedimentally -

I agree with bioterrorism. Like maybe someone breaks into the CDC and steals a new strain of deadly virus. They catch the guy but he won't give up where he hid it. While in custody, he tries to get a message out to his friend (he had to change the dropoff location at the last second when the police were on his tail.) The police intercept it but the message is coded. Now nancy is racing to find the stolen viles before the other guy can.

Tyrianpurple -

I think it would be cool if Nancy had to go undercover and infiltrate a cult based on an anonymous tip from someone on the inside asking to be saved, but because it was anonymous Nancy doesn't know who among the characters is the one asking to be rescued so she needs to maintain her cover. Snooping and investigating would have to take place at night and she would have to avoid getting busted. All the suspects would seem shady so it would be up to Nancy's investigating to figure out who is the one that asked to be rescued.

Ultimate game objective would be to not just save the victim but also implicate the cult leader.

Veryveryinteresting -

Maybe a plot based in a hospital, Nancy has to visit the morgue, patients, blood bank, something like that. Maybe one of the staff has disappeared or bodies gone missing, or the hospital is on lock down due to an outbreak of some kind. She could visit each floor of the hospital, including roof and creepy basement!

@yiikesyikes (post) -

I’d love for the next Nancy mystery to be set on a cruise ship like they’d planned on doing for the dossier games. The spooks! The waves! The mortal danger of being trapped on the ocean with a ruthless criminal!!!

They could even steal the entire plot from the 70s TV show. They had an immaculate episode where Nancy had to protect a mystery novelist who was being forced to live one of his murder mysteries. “The Mystery of the Ghostwriters Cruise” would be a Nancy game to remember!!

Storyline Ideas:

Archaeology - milk-eyedmender

Countess Bathory - skmdk64

Municipal parks department - mermaid_k

Poachers - mermaid_k

Radio broadcast - kai_okama

The Romanovs - alyssarcastic

Sasquatch - allieadmade

Sci-fi - livelaughtacos

UFO Pacific Northwest - allieadmade

Vampires  - skmdk64

Vandalism - mermaid_k

Vlad Tepes - skmdk64

Working with animals - skmdk64

Young Frankenstein vibes with vampires + folklore - tuf00234

Clues/Findings:

Finding tracks in the dark - mermaid_k 

Secret passageway in the Taj Mahal - nandydrew

Puzzle/Side Game Ideas:

Collecting plastic/trash from beach - mermaid_k

Find clues

Cooking cultural foods - mermaid_k

Garbage run - mermaid_k

Drive, change garbages, find clues

Flower painting - mermaid_k

Lawn-mowing game - mermaid_k

like ice-clearing in ICE but instead of falling through the ice, you get lawnmower (industrial 3 deck mowers) stuck in wet ground because you sunk

mow without hitting trees/damaging things (adjust how wide you are from lifting and putting down your mower decks)

Pick up littered cans - mermaid_k

exchange for money to buy things

Weedwhacking - mermaid_k

Work at cemetery (spooky) - mermaid_k

Grass care

Learning Ideas:

Learn about endangered species - skmdk64

Learn about species of sea turtles - mermaid_k

Learn about the Civil War/plantations - itoldyousoanysayo

Learn about the Incas - empresslanfan

Learn Cyrillic code - withoutreservation

Learn more about Maori culture - anonamouselle

Learn more Spanish - empresslanfan

Learn some Swahili - empresslanfan

Research Cold War history (in Russia) - tuf00234

I would love to see Nancy go to Amsterdam, Holland for an awesome downtown experience or perhaps Beijing, China for some Great Wall/Forbidden City action!

Location Ideas:

Amsterdam downtown - haeniym

Angkor Wat - milk-eyedmender

Australia - kai_okama

Central America - mermaid_k

China - kai_okama

Conservation area (in Africa)  - skmdk64

Costa Rica - mermaid_k

Forbidden City - haeniym

Great Wall - haeniym

Hong Kong - mothprincess

Hungary - skmdk64

India - nandydrew

Istanbul - mothprincess

Kenya - tatertoski

Los Angeles - mardropkick

Ocean liner - hayleyhairball

National park - allieadmade

New York - mardropkick

Peru - empresslanfan

Romania - countrygirl2487

Romania castle - tuf00234

Russia - alyssarcastic

Russian playgrounds (creepy) - tuf00234

Safari - tatertoski

South America - empresslanfan

South Korea - kai_okama

Space - writhingroots

Sub-sahara Africa - alyssarcastic

Sweden - likealonewolf

Switzerland - mothprincess

Tanzania - tatertoski

Zoo (in Africa) - skmdk64

Ending Ideas:

Anonymous -

I want a Nancy Drew game that features Hotchkiss as one of the characters and at the end, it looks like the culprit is going to get away with their crime, but Hotchkiss comes over at the last second and hits them over the head with a guitar, saying, "Rock and roll, dear."

The Key Clue :) -

So, in the first game it would be Nancy in Australia - something we all want! I have absolutely no idea what the plot would be, but my idea involves more of the ending of this game. The game ends in a cliff-hanger. Just after Nancy explains the solution of the mystery and before the credits come up, Nancy is boarding her plane home. The plane takes off and an announcement comes over from the pilot. Something along the lines of "Ladies and gentlemen, we've reached our cruising altitude of 30,000 feet and the weather looks..." The pilot stops speaking abruptly and you here a crash over the PA system. The plane takes a nose dive and quickly comes up again back onto its regular course. A strange voice comes over the system and says "Would Nancy Drew please come to the cockpit immediately. If she refuses to comply with our wishes, her fellow passengers will pay the price." Something threatening along those lines. And that's it. The game ends.

Mayaw1010

Along the lines of SPY though, one aspect I really liked about that game and Ghost of Thornton Hall that I want to see more of is when we get to make choices that affect the game. I loved how GTH had multiple endings and SPY gave you the choice to work with the opposing group or not. For me, making choices that actually matter really creates tension.

Sugarplumninja -

Catch animal poachers

[blackjack-15]

A Surprisingly Thoughtful Spin — Thoughts on: The Haunted Carousel (CAR)

Previous Metas: SCK/SCK2, STFD, MHM, TRT, FIN, SSH, DOG

Hello and welcome to a Nancy Drew meta series! 30 metas, 30 Nancy Drew Games that I’m comfortable with doing meta about. Hot takes, cold takes, and just Takes will abound, but one thing’s for sure: they’ll all be longer than I mean them to be.

Each meta will have different distinct sections: an Introduction, an exploration of the Title, an explanation of the Mystery, a run-through of the Suspects. Then, I’ll tackle some of my favorite and least favorite things about the game, and finish it off with ideas on how to improve it.  

This game also has an additional section between “The Mystery” and “The Suspects” entitled “The Theme”, where I’ll talk about the philosophy within this game, and how it stands out and solidifies its place as a truly “Expanded” game due to that thoughtfulness.

If any game requires an extra section or two, they’ll be listed in the paragraph above, along with links to previous metas.

These metas are not spoiler free, though I’ll list any games/media that they might spoil here: CAR, brief mentions of CLK, CRY, HAU, and ASH, brief but slightly spoiler-y mention of the opening act of SPY.

The Intro:

The Haunted Carousel is, without preamble, a fantastic game.

    I know I normally start these with a brief analysis of what stands out about the game or what it’s done for the series as a whole — and I will do that, never fear — but I think it’s important to establish first and foremost that, while it’s not an Overtly Beloved game, it very much should be, and it doesn’t get enough near enough credit. Especially since, in my opinion, the many great modern games’ tight plots and varied protagonists have their roots in this excellent game.

With a logical and ever-progressing plot, characters who feel like actual people, beautiful visuals, and historical backstories that round out the present day plots (plots!! In the plural!! Huzzah!!), Haunted Carousel may not be a wild ride, but it is a consistent, fun, and surprisingly thoughtful one.

CAR is perhaps the odd one out of its fellow Expanded games (SSH through SHA) in that its location isn’t really anything immersive. You don’t spend your time outdoors in thick atmosphere nor surrounded by trinkets of the Maya nor stuck on an old ranch, but between a bright hotel room and a shut-down (but not rundown) amusement park during the day. Its historical background isn’t linked to a specific area, there isn’t a “standout” scene featured in every gifset or trailer, and the wackiest the game really gets is expecting the player to enjoy Barnacle Blast.

In most ways, in other words, CAR is an exceptionally quiet game in the middle of quite a few loud ones, which might account for it not getting as much credit as it deserves. There are flashier games, there are longer games (CAR is quite short), and there are games with better and more memorable cutscenes…but there’s not many games in the series (and none of out the expanded games as well-told and sincere as CAR.

Not only is CAR a lot of fun to play, but it also takes care to mean something – to tell an actual story rather than a bare-bones whodunnit. The characters all have their reasons for being there and being involved, and they all have something to say as well — some directly contrasting each other. CAR doesn’t feel really like a computer game where everything is laid for the Convenience of the Plot and the suspects are only there to robotically deliver plot points and incriminate themselves. Rather, it feels like a whole story with real people where a crime happens to occur, but not everything revolves around that central plot point.

It’s also remarkable in the presence of a protagonist, which isn’t really something that Nancy Drew games have done yet. Nancy herself doesn’t count because at this point, Nancy doesn’t gain or lose anything from the mystery; she’s not the one with a problem, nor does she discover anything about herself. The Nik-era games are notable for their strong protagonists (or, often, dual protagonists with Nancy acting as one out of the two), but CAR really is the first one to take a character and have Nancy be a part of their story, rather than having Nancy act as a magnet to four pieces of metal and a mystery.

Mechanically, CAR is much the same as games that have come before it, as we won’t see another big upset until SHA, with the addition of Nancy’s cell phone (oh blessed day) and, most importantly, a task list. Fans had been asking for a task list since MHM (which sorely needed one so that you could at least identify which hanzi you had already seen) and CAR delivers that long-needed mechanical update.

The historical backstory is more recent than in most games, happening not in Antiquity or even during the 1700s but instead in the modern(ish) day, featuring the man behind the titular Carousel’s horses, Rolfe Kessler. The backstory doesn’t feel like an appendage like in DOG, but really establishes why the Carousel is so important and helps serve the theme of the game (more on that later).

The last thing that’s really important to note in CAR is its villain. By now, HER is reasonably okay at camouflaging its villain for at least the first third of the game, and here does a good job keeping the player in the dark for the first bit. CAR is also HER’s first successful attempt at the friendly villain archetype. Elliott Chen is pleasant, accommodating, friendly, funny, and incredibly likable. He just also happens to be a forger stretched thinner than he’s comfortable with.

Ultimately, The Haunted Carousel is a great game with a huge thematic presence, likable characters, and an honest character arc. Not only should it be a must-play for any new fan, it should be on the top of any older fan’s re-play list, both for its intrinsic value and for its obvious influence on the plots and protagonists of the modern Nancy Drew games.

The Title:

As far as titles go, The Haunted Carousel is a meh one – admittedly, it’s probably the weakest part of the entire game. It does tell us what our focal point will be — the Carousel — and the mystery surrounding the focal point – that it’s haunted — but, like DOG, it doesn’t really go much past that.

After completing the game, the title does mean a little more — the events of the game are a carousel of hauntings in that they seem to be cyclical and mysterious, but are really a farce — a simple fair ride with pretty decorations but simple parts. The carousel itself also points towards the villain, who’s the only artist out of the cast, and seems to allude to Joy’s cycle of sadness — she’s haunted as well.

It’s not a brilliant title, all things considered, but because the game is so good, it’s only a minor blip on the radar rather than something symptomatic of the game’s value.

The Mystery:

Paula Santos, a friend of Carson Drew’s, hears about Nancy’s penchant for solving mysteries and decides to call her in to investigate some thefts and sabotage that Captain’s Cove, an amusement park in New Jersey, has been encountering.

Nancy learns that first, the lead horse on the carousel was stolen, followed by the roller coaster losing power and causing a serious crash. The last straw for Paula was the merry-go-round turning on in the middle of the night, and Captain’s Cove has been shut down until someone — perhaps a badly-attired ginger fresh out of high school — can figure out what’s causing these problems.

It’s Nancy’s job to explore the shut-down amusement park, talk to the leftover staff, help reconstruct a carousel horse, and use such Astoundingly Modern Technologies as a cell phone and a laptop in order to crack the case behind The Haunted Carousel.

As a mystery, CAR is a pretty good one; it’s the age-old Nancy Drew Sabotage set up, but with the twist of happening at an amusement park. There are plenty of clues and even more red herrings, and the attempt to keep you guessing until the 3/4ths mark is a solid attempt.

I don’t know if this mystery feels more fun because it’s at a place like an amusement park or if really is that fun, but the overall effect is the same, and CAR is a delight to solve. The backstory and present story fit together like jigsaw pieces, and the suspects are both interesting and a ton of fun to question.

Is CAR an overly difficult or surprising mystery? Not to the modern mind, I would say, especially given the mystery fans’ inclination to suspect the friendliest suspect (a hole-in-one suspicion here). But it is incredibly fun to see how everything is put together, and it’s a water-tight mystery, if not air-tight.

It’s okay that the mystery isn’t the absolute greatest, however, because it isn’t the most profound part of the game.

The Theme:

Prior to CAR, Nancy Drew games didn’t really bother with the concept of theme. It was new and novel and difficult enough to design detective computer games that ran efficiently with decent graphics and to put them out twice a year that HER focused, quite rightly, on that rather than on trying more complex ideas.

With the formula and the game engine firmly established, however, and a small but fervent fanbase ready to devour the latest game — and being in charge of their own distribution — HER was ready to expand their games in a way separate from technology or location: it was ready for a strong theme.

As a character, Nancy deals with some pretty heavy stuff during the course of her mysteries. In the early games, we don’t really see it affecting her that much, which is a product of simple writing and, in my opinion, the child-like resilience of an 18 year old. While she has her occasional line like “to think I almost made friends with a jewel thief!” in TRT, these cases tend to engage Nancy on an intellectual level rather than an emotional one.

CAR shifts that narrative slightly and allows Nancy to bond with a suspect — Joy Trent — over their shared loss of a mother. Joy has also lost her father recently and is stuck in mourning over both her father and her childhood. Her father, having realized how both repressed and depressed Joy is, decided to build her a robot to help her get in touch with her childhood again. In other words, the jumping off point of the story is a father who wanted good things, happiness, and safety for his daughter, and tried to go about it in a way that he thought would be best.

If you’re hearing echoes of SPY here, you’re correct. The difference here being that Joy’s repression of tragedy leads her into a pit of inaction while stewing over that tragedy, while Nancy’s repression (which I’ll talk about more in my TMB meta) pushes her to action while ignoring the driving force of that tragedy.

CAR is also, I believe, the first time that Nancy mentions the death of her mother to a suspect, and it’s a really humanizing moment for her. As much as Nancy can be driven, tactless, and goal-oriented, she’s not a robot, and she does have personal as well as professional reasons behind the things she does and the characters she tends to bond with.

The first big thematic point in CAR is the importance of connection. It juxtaposes morose, prickly Joy (who doesn’t want a friend but gets one anyway) against our villain, who is friendly and smiling and charming but is by no means someone Nancy should make friends with. It also asks a question to tie into this theme: are those who are mean bad, and are those who are bad always mean? It’s almost a Shakespearean theme (“one may smile, and smile, and be a villain”) and it’s well-placed here.

The second theme comes up in the backstory about Rolfe Kessler, a genius who struggled all his life with mental illness, eventually ending with him never getting the credit he deserved and without the companionship of the woman he loved, Amelia.

It’s a tragic story in a way that HER hasn’t really done tragic stories yet — MHM has a basically happy ending, in TRT by the end the implication is that Marie is finally going to get the credit and un-blackening of her name that she deserves, FIN’s is a whole mess so we’re not even gonna try to dissect that, and in SSH the Whisperer is vindicated. 

There’s no descendant of Rolfe in this game; no historian ready to exculpate him, no family members or friends to remember him fondly to Nancy over the phone. Rolfe is in the game, as in his life, alone. It’s a tragedy, and the way that Nancy and the player discover his genius and his story is quiet, as befitting the man.

Through Rolfe’s story we address the twin themes of remembrance — that how you’re remembered will generally be the way you lived (think DED’s dénouement for further insight) in the time that you lived — and of the role of trauma and struggle in life. Rolfe’s struggle against his illness didn’t make him a genius, but it did stand in his way of achieving all that he could.

And that’s where we tie into Joy and the main theme of the game. Once again, we see a person being limited by their mental illness and their struggle against it, and a world that doesn’t really take that struggle into effect. Instead of Joy being alone in this struggle, however, she has help — not just the small help from Nancy, but the help and support of her father through Miles the Magnificent Memory Machine.

Miles was created by Darryl Trent to help Joy unlock her childhood memories and move past her trauma in a healthy way – and only if she was actually dedicated to the task. The riddles, while not hugely difficult, are enough to dissuade Joy from ever really trying to get past them, as she’s not ready to open that lid just yet. As anyone who’s experienced mental illness (or had a close loved one experience it) knows, there’s no way for you to improve and grow if you’re not ready to receive the help you need.

Opening up just a little bit to Nancy and having someone who doesn’t have to care about her problems actually care is enough to springboard Joy to take the first step and try to tackle the riddles again with a little help. Over the course of the game, Joy gets more and more ready and less resentful towards her past and finds the strength to confront herself and her illness.

While the trauma of losing her mother in the way that she lost her (not to mention the added weight of her family’s financial situation) didn’t make Joy strong, the choice to struggle through and come out the better on the other side does make her end the game stronger than when she started and with more — pardon the pun — joy in her life. That progression is what makes her the protagonist, but is also sets her up to have the theme hand-delivered to her.

Miles states that it was Darryl’s belief that life is simply made up of memories. This is why it’s such a big deal that Joy’s memories of her mother are repressed, because her brain is actively erasing her life. As Joy moves through those memories with Nancy and Miles’ help, she gains back her life and is shown that, while struggle is a part of life, it doesn’t define life — and that a good life isn’t necessarily a life made up of only good things.

The presence of these themes (and of the final theme in particular) is what makes CAR such a strong game. Though the characters are delightful, the aesthetic is fabulous, the Hardy Boys are here, and the history and puzzles are fun, it’s CAR’s strong thematic elements interwoven with its plot that really makes it something special.

So let’s get on with those characters, shall we?

The Suspects:

Joy Trent is the current bookkeeper of Captain’s Cove and basically the man in charge apart from Paula. Her father Darryl used to work at/own half of Captain’s Cove, but died poor (specifically of a heart attack in bankruptcy court, poor man) after having to sell his part of the park to Paula. Thus, Joy holds a grudge against Paula even as she does good work for the park.

She’s also suffering a bit of childhood amnesia due to the trauma of her mother dying when she was young — the first of the women featured in this game series to share that backstory with Nancy. This forms a lot of the story’s B plot (with the historical backstory of the game being relegated to the C-plot) as Nancy and a funny little computer help her to move past this emotional block, confront her past, and progress to a better future.

As a suspect, Joy isn’t a bad pick at all, in part because she is responsible for a portion of the sabotage — the shut-down of the roller coaster while it was in operation – over bitterness for her father’s ignominious end. This little instance is helpful for diverting attention away from the true saboteur — though she doesn’t mean to — and it helps round out Joy as more than just the sad daddy’s girl (and resident protagonist) that she would be otherwise.

Well, other than her magical talking robot companion.

Miles the Magnificent Memory Machine isn’t really a culprit, but he definitely needs to be noted here, as he’s the best help that Nancy has outside of the Hardy Boys. Miles knows everything about Joy, yet he can’t move the story forward without Nancy completing a little task after task that unlocks the next portion of his (rather, by proxy, Joy’s father’s) quest to help Joy become a well-rounded, non-traumatized person who can face her past.

I’ve said enough about Miles’ part in the Theme section above, so I’ll move on without too much in this area.

Harlan Bishop is the security guard of Captain’s Cove and an ex-forger in a past life. He’s also voiced by Jonah Von Spreecken, best known for his long-running stint as Frank Hardy and for his writing of Francy fanfiction, God bless the man.

Harlan went to jail for forging checks and had a hard time getting a job once he was free, but Paula offered him a job as a security guard at Captain’s Cove and he’s been loyal since, even taking a pay cut in order to keep his job as the park was shut down. He’s also hilarious, giving such immortal quotes as “the whale is getting impatient” when trying to summon Nancy to the security office.

As a suspect, Harlan is interesting. He shares the key identity of the villain — a forger — as a red herring and as a way to complicate the mystery, and he does do something wrong in that he spies on Ingrid to get the passcode to her office. Sure, he does it for a good and innocent reason — he wants to be the best security guard he can possibly be, and that means learning everything about the park — but it’s still wrong to do, and Nancy (in a rather supercilious way) doesn’t hesitate to call him on it (and, once again rather arrogantly, for his past. Nancy’s done way worse than forgery in her hobby as a detective, after all).

Ultimately, Harlan is too good a guy to actually cause the problems and thefts at Captain’s Cove, and stays on with Paula even after getting other job offers once he helps Nancy recover the stolen lead horse for the carousel. He serves as Nancy’s “buddy” character after the mess with Nancy reporting him finishes its business.

Elliot Chen is the art director — and perpetually behind art director — of Captain’s Cove and our friendly neighborhood villain for the game. Elliott is the first to greet Nancy with a smile and a joke, and is friendly in a way that instantly suckers the player in.

HER has been trying since TRT’s Lisa to create a villain that’s actually a sort of friend to Nancy – or at least passes off as someone becoming her friend throughout the course of the game, and they nail it with Elliott. He even mentions Poppy Dada as a sort of inside joke with the player that makes one easily warm up to him.

As a suspect, Elliott is perfect. He’s sly enough to take advantage of what others do and fold it into his plan (the roller coaster) and to use people’s superstitions to his advantage both for privacy for his schemes and for driving the price of the carousel horses up.

He’s got just enough clues pointing towards everyone else — taking the eccentricities of his coworkers not only in stride but in good humor and flexibility towards his plans — and a pretty water-tight excuse for falling behind (procrastination — everyone knows artists and other creative types are the Worst Procrastinators) to help him pull off the vast majority of his plan without anyone being the wiser.

In short, Elliott is exactly the kind of character that this game needed, and his presence is a joy — even if (or perhaps especially because) he’s the villain.

Ingrid Corey is the chief engineer of Captain’s Cove, a graduate of OSU, and resident hippy-dippy “nutritionist” who can diagnose a B3 deficiency just by looking at Nancy. She’s a little crazy to talk to, but seems like at first she could just be using that to throw our resident teen detective off the trail.

As a suspect, Ingrid checks all the boxes once again, and not just because she, like everyone else, does something wrong. Ingrid, genius engineer that she is, decides to let a friend borrow the roller coaster’s blueprints to study them for a hefty fee, garnering her enough money for a 20K$ watch and enough left over to look for a new car.

Nancy also suspects her of insurance fraud with a man who got injured on the roller coaster when Joy sabotaged it, but it turns out in a show of startling naiveté, Ingrid just wanted to recommend a neck cream to the unfortunate man rather than help him profit off of his injury.

She doesn’t really become Nancy’s buddy, but she is remarkable in that she sort of disappears for most of the game. At the beginning, it makes her look a bit suspicious, but towards the end it just becomes clear that the game is less focused in Ingrid, who doesn’t really support the theme or move the plot along, and more worried about establishing its meaning and helping Nancy solve the case in time.

The Favorite:

While it should be obvious that my favorite part of this game is its theme and the associated thematic elements, I’ll try to branch out here a bit….though not so far out as to ignore the Hardy Boys, who are once again wonderful in this game. Honestly, most games with the Hardy Boys present are better than most games without the Hardy Boys. (Though of course, there are a few exceptions (notably ASH and SPY).)

CAR has one of my favorite casts (and favorite villains) of the entire series, so they’ll be here as well. It’s such a nice change of pace from games like FIN and DOG where the casts are lackluster to go to games like CAR that are so strong in making you care about the characters.

My single favorite thing about CAR, however, is the presence of a protagonist in Joy Trent. The first games (and quite a few of the middle games, it should be noted) treat Nancy as the main character and lack a protagonist completely, ignoring the fact that Nancy really can’t be a main character in the half-ghost (personality-wise) state she’s in, especially given that most of her dialogue is “ask a question, get an answer” rather than showing any real personality or particular motive beyond solving the case. Don’t get me wrong, I understand why that was the case given the limitations of the early 2000s and of HER in particular, but it does remove any possibility of Nancy being able to be the protagonist.

That’s why Joy’s presence is such a delight, honestly. She’s the character with the problem to solve — her past traumas — and the game carries Nancy through helping her in a way that Nancy’s never really helped anyone before. Sure, Nancy solves the mystery, but what she really does is offer peace to Joy, who can now grow up a little further and move on. CAR gives Nancy a purpose that will be improved and expanded upon in games like CLK, CRY, HAU, and GTH.

My favorite puzzle is the entire puzzle track with the carousel (including the conversation with Tink, who is a wonderful phone friend). There’s something super cool about going inside a carousel and finding out how the magic works, and there’s so much to explore in it that it’s really a magical place, even though it’s not actually anything supernatural.

My favorite moment in the game (other than the final ‘battle’) is the conversation with the Hardy Boys after Nancy nearly gets run over due to her own clumsiness. A classic.

The Un-Favorite:

Because of the care taken with CAR, there won’t be a lot in this section.

My least favorite puzzle is probably the mini-plot revolving around fixing Barnacle Blast — and then playing Barnacle Blast. While it’s not a horrible game in and of itself, it just doesn’t really fit the overall aesthetic of the puzzles of Captain’s Cove, and for me it sticks out quite a bit as a “oh we need a puzzle here what can we think of that the kids like” and came up with an arcade game in a vintage-style amusement park. It’s a bit off.

The stenography isn’t a great one as well, but I give it props for fitting the atmosphere and theme, so it’s not my least favorite.

My least favorite moment in the game…is probably where Nancy knocks over Elliott’s paint, as it seems to be a Big Moment but — Nancy doesn’t actually ruin anything, and it makes Elliott look a little silly.

I know that most of the games (especially as early as CAR) didn’t want to have Nancy do anything wrong in the non-second-chance story of the game, but actually having Elliot forgive her for messing up something important would have been a big step in establishing his character and throwing suspicion off of him — not to mention justifying his even further behind schedule as the game goes on.

The Fix:

So how would I fix CAR?

There’s not a lot of work to be done here, honestly. Take out Barnacle Blast and substitute it with a more on-theme mini-game, lengthen out the game a bit by playing up Ingrid’s plotline along with everyone else’s and perhaps giving Elliott something to do in the latter half of the game so it’s not so obvious by that point that he’s the Villain, and you’ve pretty much clinched it without any real re-working.

Like I said in the last paragraph of the above section, a tweak of the cutscene with “ruining” Elliott’s work would help his and Nancy’s storyline to have a different and improved feel, but that’s pretty much it as far as concrete changes go.

The beauty of CAR is that its simplicity actually works, rather than feeling bare-bones or underwritten. It’s not a difficult or complex mystery, but that’s not the point of Nancy’s being there or of the game as a thematic whole.

Sure, CAR deals with some pretty heavy themes such as loss, loyalty, debt, revenge, trauma, shades of mental illness, and even the question of is a bad person necessarily a mean person, but it accepts those bad things in stride and knows that they’re necessary in order to tell a tale of resilience and a happy ending. Miles the Magnificent Memory Machine delivers that theme to both Nancy and to the player, after all: “even bad memories have a place in a good life”.

[sirtravisjacksonoftexas]

Does the Bible Teach That Aliens Do or Do Not Exist? Um, None of the Above, and Moses Will Show you why:

 The 1980’s was a great decade to grow up in. Even today, I’m still in love with the rock, pop and country music that came out of it. MTV got its start in the 80’s (and to anyone who was born afterwards; yes, Music Television DID have music during the 80’s). This was the decade of Atari and Nintendo, of games like “Asteroids” and “Super Mario Brothers��. This was the decade that saw Ernest P. Worrell become a house-hold name, the decade that saw children collect Garbage Pail Kids trading cards (I miss those things). Arguably the best science fiction and fantasy movies were made in the 80’s (“Star Wars: Return of the Jedi”, “Dune”, “Labyrinth”, “Dark Crystal”, “The NeverEnding Story” etc). Kids had cartoons like “Thundercats”, “He-Man”. There were also great TV shows like “FraggleRock” and “Punkie Brewster”.

And, of course, who could forget Alf? 

For those of you who are 80’s challenged, “Alf” was a TV show about an alien named Gordon Shumway (aka Alf) who crashes into the garage of a human family called the Tanners. They take Alf in and keep him hidden from the US government. Though he gets into mischief and occasionally tries to eat cats, he nevertheless becomes a member of the family. I’m still a fan, having all the Alf episodes on DVD. From childhood to now, I often imagine what it would be like if Alf and other aliens like him truly existed, roaming across the universe in search of adventure and discovery.

But do aliens exist?

This has been the subject of intense study by scientists for decades now. Indeed, there is a scientific field dedicated to the study of extraterrestrial life forms (called “Astrobiology”). Though we have not yet found life beyond earth, scientists expect to eventually do so, and soon.

But does this subject belong to science alone? Can other fields of study answer the question about whether there is life on other planets?

Surprisingly, many a Christian theologian and apologist has considered the possibility.

And what did they say about it?

Aliens don’t exist.

Some will dismiss the scientific case for the possibility extra-terrestrial life as pure bogus. Others will tackle the subject of UFOs, saying that they’re either natural phenomena, misidentified secret aircraft or both. Some will even go so far as to say that both UFOs and supposed alien abductions are actually demonic instead of alien in origin. There are books, documentaries and even movies that support this latter idea. Some theologians say that when the rapture occurs, people might invoke aliens as an explanation for it; people will say that the earth has had a mass alien abduction. We’ve had decades of supposed alien abductions, as well as Star Trek shows where people are beamed up from a planet to a space ship, both of which could lead people to mistake the rapture for alien activity. Many see this as evidence that aliens therefore don’t exist (which is a complete non-Sequitur, but more on that later). Some will even say that if aliens exist, then there is a conundrum; how can they accept Christ as Lord and Savior? Christ died for fallen humanity, for humans who suffer from a sinful nature, due to Adam and Eve’s sin. How could aliens be saved, since Christ didn’t die for them as well? How could their sins be forgiven? Should we believe that Jesus was incarnated on countless worlds and died for them too? This would seem highly unlikely, and this is supposed to make us conclude that aliens therefore don’t exist. Some will also bring up the many requirements for life to exist on earth, and say that all of these factors would be highly unlikely to exist on other worlds. The chances of that happening, according to some Christian theologians and apologists, would be astronomical.

So, are they right? Can one make a Biblical or theological case that ETs don’t exist?

Um, NO, and here is why:

 1. ARGUMENT FROM SILENCE. 

Does the Bible say that Extra-terrestrials exist?

No.

Does the Bible say that they don’t exist?

No.

Does them Bible mention them at all?

No.

This should make one logically conclude that the Bible is silent on the issue, and nothing more. One could speculate on why God would be silent about the idea, but one couldn’t go from speculation to fact when it comes to this question, especially considering that the Bible is not a total revelation of all facts. Instead, it is God’s love letter to humanity, Basic Instructions Before Leaving Earth (B.I.B.L.E.). However, many will use this silence as an argument that aliens don’t exist, because if they did, then surely God would have told us in his word, right?

Wrong.

To argue such a position would be to commit an “Argument from Silence” logical fallacy. It’s basically arguing that absence of evidence is evidence of absence, and it’s an error of reasoning that people often make. For example, let’s say that a “historian” (we’ll call him “Richard”) says that no one mentioned Jesus Christ during the time when Jesus lived on earth. If nobody mentioned Jesus at that time, then therefore, according to Richard, Jesus never existed. However, this kind of argument is unbelievably faulty; The vast majority of written documents from the ancient world didn’t survive to the modern era, many historical figures have no contemporary writings about them (Thales of Miletus, Boudicca, Zoroaster the Prophet, Buddha, etc), some historical events have no contemporary written accounts about them (the Pompeii disaster), most people who lived in Galilee at the time of Christ were illiterate (most people in the ancient world were), and historians do not discard a person as a historical figure because they have no contemporaneous accounts about them. No, to be fair, there are some circumstances where you can get away with using an argument from silence (though even then, the argument would be circumstantial), but you have to meet several criteria in order to use is properly. Would God have a good reason to mention aliens in the Bible (If you say yes, then why? What would be the good reason? Are you simply assuming? Remember, assumption is the mother of all screw ups)? Is the subject relevant to God’s purposes in scripture? These are but a few questions one would need to ask themselves before trying to make an Argument from Silence about the question of ETs and the Bible, and just getting one wrong could lead to a fallacious argument.

And guess what the answer is to the questions I just asked?

NO!

Like I said, God doesn’t reveal everything in his word. Not every scientific fact is found in the Bible. Indeed, there are numerous things that we know exist (including on other planets) that the Bible never mentions:

1. Black Holes

2. Volcanoes on other planets (like Olympus Mons, a 16-mile-high Martian Volcano)

3. Mountains on other planets

4. Canyons on other planets (Mars has one that dwarfs the Grand Canyon).

5. Moons orbiting other planets (Jupiter alone is now known to have 79 moons).

6. Water on other planets and moons (Mercury, Uranus, Neptune, Mars, Jupiter and Saturn have water ice. Jupiter, Saturn and Mars all have water vapor. Mars may have liquid water underground, and used to have oceans. Pluto, a dwarf planet, has water ice. Ganymede, Jupiter’s largest moon, has an underground ocean that may have more water than all of Earth’s oceans combined. Europa, another moon of Jupiter, is covered in ice, and may have either an ocean or slushy ice beneath it. There is water ice on our own moon. Such moons are far from unique in our solar system when it comes to water ice. K2-18 b, a planet in another solar system, has water vapor in its atmosphere).

7. Dust devils on other worlds (Mars has dust devils that can reach 5 miles high, dwarfing those of earth)

8. Skies on other planets (the only planet in our solar system without an atmosphere is Mercury.)

9. Weather on other worlds (Jupiter's Great Red Spot is a giant storm that has lasted for at least 150 years)

10. Saturn’s rings (which are made of particles that are more than 90% water ice. These rings were discovered in 1610 AD)

11. Gamma Ray Bursts

12. Coronal Mass Ejections (when the sun spews both plasma and a magnetic field. It’s basically a solar burp).

13. Radiation

If the Bible doesn’t mention any of these things, and yet they have nevertheless been proven to exist…then why would we say that there is no life on other planets because the bible doesn’t mention them? Can you imagine a theologian saying in the 19th century that “The Bible doesn’t mention other planets having mountains, volcanoes, canyons, water, atmospheres, dust devils, weather, and so on, and thus they don’t exist! If they did, God would have told us!”. What if one said “The Bible doesn’t say that Black Holes exist, or that Gamma Ray Bursts or Mass Coronal Ejections exist, therefore they do not exist! Otherwise, God would have surely told us!”? That would be an absurd line of argument, an argument that would have a very poor track record, considering all the things that the Bible doesn’t mention that turned out to actually exist.

But notice, in particular, how many things are found in and around other planets…that the Bible never mentioned. Water, mountains, canyons, volcanoes (including the largest in the solar system), skies, weather, and giant dust devils. They all exist…and yet the Bible never mentions them. Moons exist around most of the planets in our solar system alone (let alone ones in other solar systems), and yet out of all of them…only one moon-ours-is mentioned in the Bible. All of these marvels of God’s creation…and not one of them is mentioned in the Bible.

If the Bible doesn’t mention mountains, volcanoes, water (including ice and oceans), skies and weather on other planets…why would it mention life on other planets?

Now, to be fair, some may object, saying that all of these other things were indeed mentioned in the Bible, albeit not specifically. Instead, they are mentioned in a general, collective sense in Genesis 2:1;

“Thus the heavens and the earth were finished, and all the host of them.”

This passage is a continuation of the creation account in Genesis 1. It indicates that God created the heavens, earth, and all the “host thereof”, which some would comfortably include planets and everything on them.

However, if some of my fellow believers do so, then they just shot themselves in the foot, for just as the passage indicates that the earth has “hosts” (including living things)…and since the heavens have hosts of their own…then one can conclude that living things on other planets (planets are in the heavens)could possibly be mentioned here in a general sense too! True, the “host of heaven” or “heavenly host” usually means the stars in the bible, nut the passage in question relates that earth also has hosts, which indicates that stars alone are not indicated here. One may try to say that angels are in view here, for they are at times referred to as the “host of Heaven” (1 Kings 22:19) or “heavenly host” (Luke 2:13), and angelic beings (as well as demons) can be found both on earth and in the heavens (Genesis 3:24, Ephesians 2:2, 6:12, Revelation 7:1, 19:14-15). However, there are several problems with this idea. You see, not only is the creation of angels never mentioned in Genesis 1 or 2 (Or anywhere in the Bible), the creation account of Job 38:4-11, when combined with the Genesis creation accounts, indicates that angels existed prior to the 6 days of creation, and thus could not be referenced here in Genesis 2:1 as products of the creation week. True, the creation of aliens is never mentioned in Genesis either, but neither is the creation of land, seas and skies on other worlds, and yet they can be placed within Genesis 2:1 in a general sense.

Why not aliens?

Also, as I’ve written in a previous article, the first creation account in Genesis was not meant to be taken as a literal scientific account of origins. Therefore, it should NEVER be used to dictate or argue scientific truths, including on cosmology and astrobiology. Thus, it doesn’t really answer our question about whether aliens exist or not. 

Plus, we need to keep in mind that the ancient Israelites didn’t know that other physical worlds truly existed, let alone had mountains, volcanoes, water, etc. Indeed, the planets in the night sky were thought to be wandering stars, and no one knew in the ancient world that stars were physical objects. None knew that other planets besides those in the night sky also existed, let alone those that orbit other stars (extrasolar planets are yet another thing not mentioned specifically in the Bible, yet are known to exist). Many ancient civilizations thought that planets were gods. Some ancient Jewish thinkers thought that stars were angels, and “morning stars” (usually planets) were personified as part of the angelic or heavenly host by ancient Israelites (special note: though angels were at times called “stars” (Job 38:7, Revelation 12:4), the Bible itself doesn’t teach that stars are angels. This was a non-biblical teaching, and Genesis 1 shows that stars were no personal beings, but simply parts of God’s perfect creation). Thus, while we can conclude from the creation account that God truly made all things, we cannot conclude that the ancient writers of scripture had modern scientific discoveries in mind when they wrote scripture, or that God likewise had them in mind when he was communicating through that very scripture. He was talking to ancient people in a way that they could understand, not in a way that modern people would desire him to.

 2. DEMON THEORIES AND THE RAPTURE 

Many of my fellow Christians accept the idea that some UFOS and most, if not all, alien abductions are demonic in nature. Many will bring up the fact that some UFOs seem to defy the laws of physics, pulling off maneuvers and speeds that would be supposedly impossible for even advanced alien technology to do…yet possible for supernatural beings to pull off. Many also cite similarities between alien abductions (along with several other kinds of supposed “close encounters”) and demonic activity. For example, both phenomena are at times associated with a sulfur smell (sulfur aka brimstone). This is a great way to scare some Christians away from the subject of life on other planets for sure. To be fair, I wouldn’t put it pass people to mistake demons and even angels as UFOs, nor would I put it past demons to masquerade as UFOS and or aliens in order to jack with people, pull pranks or even lead people away from Christianity (there are UFO cults). Indeed, there are many similarities between alien abduction and Fairy Abduction 

 (according to European folklore, if a person stepped inside a fairy ring (a natural occurring ring of mushrooms), then faeries would party with him or her, keeping the individual “prisoner” for a considerable time before letting him or her go free. Like flying saucers, fairy rings are circular. Like Greys (grey skinned, black eyed aliens), faeries were said to be smaller than human beings…).

Given these factors, should we conclude that aliens don’t exist, that only demons and angels are beyond the wild blue yonder?

Um…nope.

Remember, one can accept the existence of life on other worlds without accepting that UFOs or “Alien” Abductions are extraterrestrial activity. Indeed, most mainstream scientists disregard both UFOs and alien abductions as bonafide evidence of aliens, yet they accept that ETs are a possibility. But let’s dig deeper into these arguments, shall we?

To say that advanced alien technology cannot pull off the stunning feats of some UFOs is shortsighted, considering the many times in the history of science where the “impossible” was proven possible. People once thought that you couldn’t sail around the world because it was flat, yet long before Columbus people started to realize that that wasn’t the case. They said that we could never land people on the Moon, and that the sound barrier could never be broken. Indeed, while scientists accept that the speed of light will never be broken (and with FAR better reason than those who thought the sound barrier would never be broken), they accept that its possible to warp space so that two locations can temporarily come far closer together. You could potentially travel across an entire galaxy in mere moments instead of many, many years. This kind of tech would be a loophole around the light barrier.  Imagine what other loopholes technology could achieve if an alien race was centuries, millennia, even millions or billions of years ahead of our technology? Thus, this objection has no merit.

But what about alien abduction?

Sorry, folks, but alien abduction has less to do with demons and more to do with the waking mind. 

The symptoms of alien abduction are strikingly similar to sleep paralysis, a condition where a person awakes and is paralyzed. This occurs when the mind awakes before the body. Our bodies are designed to limit our physical movements when we sleep. This is why most of us don’t run in real life while we dream of running, or why we don’t punch our pillows when we dream of being in a fight or a boxing match. This is a safety mechanism, keeping us from harming ourselves and others while we sleep. However, some people have trouble with keeping their bodies in check while they slumber (sleepwalkers). Those who suffer from sleep paralysis have the opposite problem; they have trouble regaining their ability to move when they first awake. This symptom would be frightening enough on its own, but there is another eerie symptom that comes with it.

Dreaming while awake. 

People who suffer from sleep paralysis will at times hallucinate while paralyzed, and such hallucinations can be frightening. Indeed, what you end up seeing can be influenced by the culture you grew up in. Europeans in the Middle Ages would see incubus or succubus demons, while people in other ages might see djinns or old hags. 

In our culture, you’ll most likely see aliens. 

True, demons could potentially jack with our dreams, but why should we invoke demons in every case of sleep hallucination that involves aliens? You don’t have to invoke the supernatural when it comes to nightmares, let alone those that are caused by sleep paralysis. Thus, this objection has no merit.

Neither does the rapture-alien theory.

Just because people may blame aliens for the rapture after it occurs doesn’t mean that aliens therefore don’t exist. It’s a non-sequitur. Indeed, many have come up with other potential explanations for the rapture. I’ve heard laser beams being invoked before as a possible way to explain away the rapture. One can invoke a physics disaster at CERN or the cumulative effects of radiation from nuclear testing (the latter explanation was used in the Left Behind films). Nobody would thus argue that laser beams don’t exist, or that nuclear tests therefore don’t produce radiation.

Why then use such an argument against the existence of extraterrestrials?

  3. MISSIONARIES…IN SPACE!!!!!!

If aliens exist, how can they be saved? Surely if they do exist, they would need to be saved, for they’d be sinners like us, right (remember what I said earlier about assumptions?)? And what other beings apart from humans exist that don’t need Jesus’ gift of salvation?

Well, other than angels, animals, plants, fungi, microbes…

True, angels long to look into the subject of salvation (1 Peter 1:10-12), but they are nevertheless not covered by the sacrifice and resurrection of Christ. Indeed, angels did not descend from Adam and Eve, and thus didn’t inherit a sinful nature. They have the potential to sin (case in point: Satan), but they are nevertheless not burdened with a sinful nature that can only be overcome by the death and resurrection of Christ. Likewise, though animals have a spirit (Ecclesiasts 3:21), they likewise did not descend from Adam and Eve, and thus didn’t inherit their sinful nature. Indeed, they are incapable of sin (and please don’t bring up the Serpent in the Garden: even in ancient times, that was known to have been a supernatural being, not a legit snake).

If aliens exist, if other life forms were created by God on other worlds, then they likewise would not have descended from Adam and Eve and thus would not have inherited their sinful natures. Could they sin? Possibly, just like angels (who have no sinful nature) could potentially sin. This doesn’t mean that they would need Jesus to die and rise from the grave for them, just as angels don’t need Jesus to die and rise from the grave for them.

Indeed, who is to say that alien life would be able to understand right from wrong, let alone consciously chose to do evil? Who’s to say that there will be sentient life elsewhere? What if other worlds are only inhabited by animals, plants, fungi, microbes and perhaps other forms of life we haven’t even imagined yet, none of them intelligent? Indeed, some scientists, such as the paleontologist Peter Ward and the Astrobiologist Donald E. Brownlee, believe that the universe is populated with mostly microbes, and that multi-cellular life like our own is exceptionally rare. This view is called the Rare Earth Hypothesis (which both the above scientists wrote about in their book “Rare Earth”). I sincerely doubt that there are microbes that understand right from wrong, or that sin against God (more on the Rare Earth hypothesis later).  

But let’s say that there are alien species out there who are sentient, and who are intelligent enough to chose to obey God or not. Once again, the angel example has to be considered in such cases, but we need to ask another question as well:

Who is to say that aliens likewise had a fall?

Who is to say that all sentient alien species chose to eat forbidden fruit?

Could there be intelligent alien species out there that never suffered the stain of sin? Could there be alien Adam and Eves living in other-worldly Edens? 

Also, what if God made at least some aliens species that already had the knowledge of Good and Evil from the beginning? Humans obviously weren’t ready for it in the Garden of Eden, and it led to a sinful nature that was passed on to Adam and Eve’s descendants, but who is to say that a sentient alien species wouldn’t have been initially made not only with that knowledge, but with the maturity to handle it?

And even if there are sentient alien species whose ancestors had a Fall, whose is to say that God would chose to save them in the exact same way he chose to save us? Whose to say that he wouldn’t cover them under a different kind of grace? Indeed, who is to say that the ultimate ancestors of sinful ETs would have passed on a sinful nature to their descendants like Adam and Eve did with theirs? Wouldn’t their “Falls” be different from that of Adam and Eve? Would it really have involved forbidden fruit as well?

At first, these ideas about Edens and Falls on other worlds seems impossible, considering that the Bible teaches that all creation suffers due to humanity’s sin (not alien’s sins) in Romans 8:18-22. However, this could be hyperbole, over-exaggeration used to prove a point. It seems hard to understand how galaxies countless lightyears from earth could be affected by human sin. Indeed, how could Pluto or Mars be affected by it? True, one could imagine that Adam and Eve’s sin may have spread physical death across the universe…but that’s where things get very, very complicated…

You see, some may bring up the supposed “fact” that Adam and Eve’s sin brought death into existence (1 Corinthians 15:20-21), and that death is only mentioned as being on earth (Romans 5:12). However, this is faulty for several reasons.

  1. Just because the bible mentions death only on earth doesn’t mean that it doesn’t exist on other worlds. If I say that soccer is played in Brazil, does that mean that it is not played elsewhere? If I say that black bears inhabit Texas, does that mean that Texas is the only place were black bears can be found? If I say that monotheism, the belief that there is only one God, was a major tenet of ancient Israelite religion, does that mean that the concept was not known in other cultures (for a time, ancient Egypt worshipped Aten the Sun Disk, and no other God)? If I say that Pizza is Italian food, does that mean that pizza is only found in Italy?

2. Whenever we look at these passages more closely (as well as another connected passage (Romans 6:23), we can see that it is relating to humans, not other creatures. Now, animals, plants, microbes and fungi die as well as humans, and yet…humans are the subject of the context of the passages in question.

Why?

Because these passages are not talking about physical death, but spiritual death.

This is confirmed in Genesis 2:17 and 3:2-7. Let’s look at the first passage:

“but of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat, for in the day that you eat of it you shall surely die.” (emphasis mine)

Now let’s look at the second passage:

“And the woman said to the serpent, “We may eat of the fruit of the trees in the garden, but God said, ‘You shall not eat of the fruit of the tree that is in the midst of the garden, neither shall you touch it, lest you die.’” But the serpent said to the woman, “You will not surely die. For God knows that when you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.” So when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was a delight to the eyes, and that the tree was to be desired to make one wise, she took of its fruit and ate, and she also gave some to her husband who was with her, and he ate. Then the eyes of both were opened, and they knew that they were naked. And they sewed fig leaves together and made themselves loincloths.” (Emphasis mine)

Now, compare this to the rest of Genesis chapter 3.

Um, notice that Adam and Eve are not killed?

Wow, was the Serpent right after all? Was God fibbing when he said that Adam and Eve would die if they ate the forbidden fruit? After all, their eyes were “opened” after they ate, just like the serpent said, and they lived over it. Was the Serpent actually telling the truth?

Only if God was referring to physical death.

God, however, was referring to spiritual death. He was referring to the separation that sin makes between God and man, a separation that can only be overcome by Jesus Christ and his gift of salvation.

That is the kind of death that these passages are talking about.

3. Death existed before the Fall.

As I’ve argued in an earlier article, death actually existed before Adam and Eve’s Fall. Not only were they not created immortal (they would have had to have eaten of the Tree of Life in order to live forever, and they never got the chance to do it (Genesis 3), the Bible never indicates that any animal ate of the Tree of Life and likewise became immortal. Indeed, the Bible indicates that the tree of life was not found anywhere else in the world (Genesis 3:22-24). If Adam, Eve and the animals were already immortal (they weren’t but indulge me)…then why would there be a tree of life, whose fruit offers immortality? It’s a tad redundant, don’t you think? Its on par with putting a tree whose fruit is designed to help people get thin at a supermodel convention, 

or trying to sell fertility drugs to pregnant women.

 In both cases, there is a product available to people who obviously don’t need it. Indeed, the fact that Adam and Eve had not eaten of the Tree of Life before or after the Fall, the fact that they were not immortal at the time means that, if they hadn’t sinned in the Garden yet still never ate of the Tree of Life…then they would eventually die. The potential for physical death was already there, implying that physical death was already in the world. Thus, physical death didn’t enter the universe because of the Fall. Spiritual death did. That spiritual death sentence didn’t spread to animals or angels, so why would it spread to aliens?

 Another thing we have to ask ourselves is what do we mean by intelligent life and sentient beings? Non-human apes are actually both, yet they are not sinners. They are still animals and not as intelligent as humans, they are nevertheless intelligent, in some cases enough so to learn sign language. Indeed, some have argued that many animals have a more code, knowing “right” from “wrong” (though not knowing it intimately as humans, which wouldn’t have been the case before the Fall. There was a primitive sense of right and wrong that Adam and Eve knew of before the Fall (God allowing them to eat of the garden, but not of the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil. There were right choices…and a wrong choice). Would aliens as intelligent and sentient as the great apes, and with a primitive sense of morality, need a savior?

No more than animals do.

But this brings up an important question: What makes man different from animals? The Bible indicates that, unlike animals, we are made in God’s image (Genesis 1:26-27). As I noted in another article, this does not mean that we are the only creatures with a soul. This is an eisegetical interpretation that has no basis in the historical and cultural background of the Bible, let alone merit. Indeed, ancient near eastern kings were often said to be in the image of a certain god. This reinforced their authority as kings over their people. It was a reason why they had dominion over them. Likewise, Adam and Eve are made in God’s image, and had dominion over their subjects, the animals. We are all in God’s image, and thus represent God to nature. We represent his authority to the earth. Hence, one major reason why God is ticked off when we sin; we violate the very image that we bear when we sin.

But what if aliens, even intelligence aliens, were not made in God’s image? What if they were never given a sacred dominion over their worlds? At first this seems impossible, for surely aliens with at least our level of intelligence would be the dominant life forms on their worlds as we are over earth, but then again…angels are likewise intelligent (FAR more so than human beings), and yet…where are they ever said to have been made in the image of God?

Name one Bible verse that says that angels are made in God’s image. 

Indeed, angels rule in Heaven under God, just as we rule on earth under God, and yet angels are still not said to be in the image of God.  

Also, the ancients already set down the basics for intelligent beings that weren’t made in the divine image; unlike the Israelites, many in the ancient near east thought that only their kings were made in a deity’s image. Everybody else, every other member of homo sapiens, the most intelligent life form on earth…was not. And yet they would have recognized humans as the dominant life form on the planet. We likewise might see intelligent ETs in a similar light. They can have dominion over their planets, but not one based on the divine image of God. Indeed, there would have been other ruling authorities in ancient near eastern kingdoms (such as queens, princes, etc), yet they neither had the power of a king nor were thought to be in the image of a deity. Aldo, dinosaurs practically ruled the earth for millions of years, and yet they were not made in the image of God (or for that matter remotely intelligent, save for a few species). Same goes for the Theraspids or mammal-like reptiles who were the dominant land animals before them, and other animals which dominated the earth before mankind was created.

Thus, if intelligent aliens sinned from the beginning, yet weren’t made in God’s image…would they still have passed on a sinful nature to their descendants? Would their sin be as grievous as ours? Would it necessitate the death and resurrection of Christ? These questions are even more interesting considering the fact that there is Biblical and other evidence to show that Adam and Eve were meant to not just be intelligent life forms in the Bible and have dominion over earth, but were also to be a priest and priestess of God, respectively (both a priestly and royal role, like Melchizedek and Christ himself). Would aliens have likewise has such a priestly role initially? What if they didn’t? What if they also weren’t made in the Image of God? Would they still need a death and resurrection of God the Son in order to enter Heaven…or would they be under a different kind of grace? Seems like the latter would be far more likely. If aliens didn’t have a priestly and kingly role, would humans actually have more authority than them, at least in some way? Not impossible. Though they weren’t the most powerful tribe (and unlike the others, had no land appointed to them), the Levites where in charge of religious matters and the Tabernacle (later Temple). Due to Adam and Eve’s priestly role, would we likewise have religious authority over aliens? Would we have even more authority? Were we meant to be a priestly race? It’s interesting to note that not only are Christians a royal priesthood (1 Peter 2:9), but one day, we as believers in Christ will judge even angels (1 Corinthians 6:3).

 4. MATH, CHANCE AND THE RARE EARTH

Some Christians have taken to the rare earth hypothesis, which as previously stated is the idea that complex life is exceptionally rare. The reason why some scientists believe this is because there are supposedly at least 152 parameters needed for life like our own to exist on earth, including having a moon of the right size, having only 1 moon, having a specific tilt and volcanic activity. Indeed, if we calculate the chances of another planet like ours having all of these parameters, it would be 1 in 19 with 193 zeros behind it. To put this into perspective, the estimated number of planets in the universe is 10 with 22 zeros behind it. In other words, the chances aren’t good for advanced life forms like ours to exist on other worlds. The chances that one world-ours-would have all these parameters would be astronomical, let along if there were at least one other which likewise beat the odds. Ours would be a universe filled with microbes, but not animals, fungi, plants or sentient beings. This is an intriguing possibility, but it has several fatal flaws.

1. If you are a Christian (Like I am), then you believe that all life, including human life, has something in common with every other aspect of creation; it was all created by God, not chance.

 Indeed, creationists will argue against the idea that life on earth came about by chance and certain circumstances (stating that it would be impossible for chance and circumstances alone to do it. You’d need a supernatural creator to explain how life began), and yet when it comes to life on other worlds…they will invoke chance and circumstances as an argument against it, without considering God. That would be the equivalent of an atheist saying that just because there is no contemporaneous accounts of Socrates or Thales of Miletus doesn’t mean that they therefore didn’t exist…and yet later say that there are no contemporaneous accounts of Jesus Christ, therefore he didn’t exist.

If God made us, why would aliens be made by chance and circumstances?

Is God incapable of overcoming the mathematical odds? Since when did he become weak? Since when did he become incapable of overcoming math?

You cannot use a Double Standard as a logical argument, and the chance argument is being used in such a way.

2. Most scientists do not hold to the rare Earth Hypothesis. Indeed, in science, the term “hypothesis” is used in the same way as we use the word “Theory”, while “Theory” in science is a scientific explanation that has withstood a lot of testing. This doesn’t make scientific theories absolute (some theories have been discarded), but it does mean that it has past enough tests to be considered a theory. Hypotheses, however, have not withstood a lot of testing yet. Thus, the Rare Earth Hypothesis, though interesting, is not as powerful an argument against advanced alien life as many believe it to be.

3. The parameters needed for our form of life (or even for planets like earth and solar systems like ours to form) are not as rigid as you think. For example, contrary to purveyors of the Rare Earth hypothesis, life on earth would actually be possible if earth was 2-5% further away from the Sun and tilted on its side like Uranus. Indeed, it could be 1.4 times further from the sun and tilted, and still have our kind of life if an intense greenhouse effect were present. Likewise, there is biological evidence to show that not having a big moon would not have made complex life impossible on earth. Indeed, the idea that complex life couldn’t be on earth if it rotated faster is bogus, considering that it rotated more than 10 percent faster during the Ordovician Period (490-443 million years ago). 

The days in the Ordovician were 21 hours long, not 24. Though there were few living things on land at the time (lichens), the seas were filled with animals like trilobites, sea scorpions, armor-plated fish and Cameraceras, the giant orthocone (see below).

 Indeed, the rotation of the earth has been constantly slowing since that period of time, until we attained a 24-hour day. This means that the rotation of the earth was faster in the Permian period (the time of Dimetrodon), the Mesozoic period (the time of the Dinosaurs), and through all the ice ages afterwards. 

Obviously, a faster rotation wasn’t a problem for complex life back then. Why would it be a problem for potential life on other planets with a faster rotation than earth? If modern living things couldn’t survive on an earth with a faster rotation (I don’t believe that, but let’s indulge the idea for a second), then obviously animals, plants, fungi and microbes that lived in eras where the earth had a faster rotation were obviously adapted to survive in an environment than living things in the modern world are not.

Just as alien life forms could be adapted to survive on planets with faster rotations.

4. What if, during ancient times, the Fijians of the Fiji Islands sailed down to Antarctica? What would they have thought about that vast region of ice and howling winds? Its obviously not suitable for the animals and plants that are native to Fiji, such as the Monkey Face Bat (aka the Fijian Monkey-Faced Flying Fox), Coconut Crab, Fiji Crested Iguana and Coconut palm. It’s too cold, has too great a wind chill, has no plant life, no true summer or spring, none of the marine species familiar to Fijians or their terrestrial wildlife, little if any fresh water (and what would be there would be too cold), etc. Antarctica doesn’t meet all of the parameters needed to sustain animal and plant life native to Fiji.

Would the Fijians conclude therefore that no life exists on Antarctica?

Perhaps they might…until they saw penguins there. 

Likewise, just because most, if not all worlds in the universe don’t meet the parameters to sustain our form of complex life doesn’t mean that they don’t have complex life on them. Remember, we didn’t come about by chance, but by God, and God is a master artist with an unlimited imagination. Want to see proof of God’s great imagination? Look at a Duck-Billed Platypus. Look at a Giraffe. Look at a Crown of Thorns Starfish or a giant tube worm. The latter alone lives on the Pacific sea floor, in an environment without plants. It never experiences sunlight, has no stomach or true mouth, and yet “feeds” off Carbon Monoxide and Hydrogen Sulfide, poisons which would kill most other animals on earth. Once these gases are inside it, they are consumed by bacteria, which make up half of a giant tubeworm’s weight. Once these bacteria “poop”, the giant tube worm consumes their excrement. Oh, and by the way; they live near underwater volcanoes, withstanding temperatures that would make a Texas summer seem cold! Such an environment doesn’t meet the parameters needed for surface or even marine life that lives far above the habitat of the giant tubeworm, and yet…the giant tubeworm, along with other life forms at the bottom of the sea, survive and thrive.

And that, of course, is far from the limits of what God, the Artist of Artists, could come up with.

Indeed, at one time, it was thought by scientists that the deepest parts of the ocean could not support life. After all, it didn’t meet the parameters needed for life to be there; no sunlight (thus no plants), extreme cold and unearthly pressure should have made life (like ours) impossible, and it’s true, such an environment was not suitable for land animals or even animals that live in shallower waters. This concept was known as Azoic Theory, and it would be accepted by a scientific consensus for years.

And yet…it was overturned.

Several expeditions were finding evidence that the theory was wrong. The final nail in the coffin came in 1960, when the bathyscape Trieste reached the bottom of the Mariana Trench, the deepest part of the world’s oceans (11 kilometers). 

There, Jacques Piccard, the Trieste’s pilot, spotted both a shrimp and a flat fish.

In other words, God made what was thought to be impossible to exist.

Our God is a God of the impossible (Matthew 19:26)!

True, the parameters needed for our kind of life to exist on other worlds could potentially be staggering (though as seen above, not as staggering as you think), but that assumes that life on other world would have to be like our kind of life, that God wouldn’t design living things to exist on different planets with far different environments. Why would God limit himself? After all, he’s made purely supernatural life forms (angels), so why not make biological life forms on other worlds that differ from those of Earth?

By now, we can see that such arguments against the idea of ETs are flawed. Indeed, its quite interesting that a lot of my fellow Christians try to use science to debunk the concept, even though science supports the idea that life exists on other worlds, and that some alien life will be complex. One could understand if Evolution was the subject, but alien life is the subject, and the Biblical message isn’t harmed by either the existence or non-existence of ETs (though as I’ve mentioned in another article, even evolution fails as an argument against God, let alone Christianity).

Indeed, as I’ve mentioned, the Bible doesn’t say yeah or nay on the issue.

Why?

Well, once again, the Bible isn’t intended to give all knowledge; its intended for us to know that God loves us. As Galileo once said “The Bible tells us how to go to Heaven, not how the heavens go.” It’s also seems obvious that God didn’t consider life on other planets important enough to mention, just as he didn’t consider mountains on other planets, volcanoes on other planets and ice on other planets as important enough to mention. God’s word isn’t a science treatise, but his message of love and reconciliation with mankind.

So, since God doesn’t say yeah or nay on the subject, how can we use the Bible to figure out whether there is alien life or not?

We can’t.

Indeed, if you study what the Bible says about such unclear matters, you would not even make the attempt.  

Why?

Read on…

  5. THE SECRET THINGS…

Moses gave a lot of speeches to the Israelites. In one of these, recorded in Deuteronomy 29, he goes over some of the recent history of the Israelites, as well as warning them not to stray from God’s word, from his teaching.

At the end of his speech, he says something quite perplexing:

“The secret things belong to the LORD our God, but the things revealed belong to us and to our children forever, that we may follow all the words of this law.”

Read that passage several times…then consider the fact that aliens are never mentioned in the Bible, that it never states whether aliens exist or not. Do this several times, then ask yourself…is the existence (or non-existence) of aliens a secret thing that belongs to the Lord? It obviously has to be, if God doesn’t say yea or nay on the issue. If God chose not to reveal the answer to this question, then it truly is a secret thing that belongs to him. This doesn’t mean that we can’t study this question scientifically (remember, the bible doesn’t mention ice, volcanoes, mountains and canyons on other worlds, yet we know they exist on them. We learned this because we studied this scientifically, not theologically). However, this does mean that God chose not to answer this question in his word. The Bible has FAR more important things to teach us, including Jesus and his gift of salvation. When it comes to aliens, we must never say that the Bible indicates that they exist or don’t exist. The Bible is unclear on this, which indicates that it is a secret thing that belongs to the Lord. We cannot therefore be dogmatic on the issue, saying that they exist or don’t exist for theological reasons. If we want to answer this question, we need to scientifically figure it out. God gave us the minds and the abilities to do this, and whether the ultimate answer to this question is yay or nay, either way we will learn more about God’s creation, and give further glory to God in the process.

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“Science: Was the Bible Ahead of its Time?” by Ralph O. Muncaster, 20-21

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“Chased by Sea Monsters” by Nigel Marvin and Jasper James, 26-45

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“Weird Science: Mad Marvels from Around the World” by Matt Lake and Randy Fairbanks, 13

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[vetoing-clocks]

Decepticon!Hot Rod Anniversary Q&A

Yes! It happened! On November 13th, 2018, I posted a vignette on Ao3 based on the idea “What if Hot Rod had become a Decepticon in ‘Autocracy’ (and dated Deadlock)?”

365 days and 44,8k words later, the deceptirod AU is still going and I still have plans and ideas for it.

It’s been a huge year for me. I learned a lot as a writer. I achieved some things in my professional path. I made friends in the fandom and got some loyal readers.

I wish I’d noticed sooner that the anniversary was coming up, I would have had something written for today. Since that couldn’t be, I want to thank everyone that sent questions for this hastily put together q&a. I hope you enjoy this glimpse into this little universe I’ve been building.

Everything’s under the cut.

As usual, thank you for reading these fics. This series wouldn’t have gone beyond that first oneshot without the interest and support of all of you.

Anon: So it’s implied events pan out the same as they do when Roddy steals the matrix for the Autobots. Have you ever thought about what happens after? Would Deadlock/Drift’s arc have still happened?

Fun fact: I’ve got this whole AU planned up to the point in which “Transformers: Lost Light” ended. Saying more would be a spoiler.

@kyrinthewarrior​: How did you come up with the idea of Thunderbird and Doctor?

Last year I was writing a canon divergent TFP fic (that’s been on hiatus for over a year, I’m so sorry) in which Starscream realized that he’d never, ever win and decided to become neutral. One of the plot points in it was that Starscream accidentally inspired the Vehicons to start a liberation movement, which included taking names and picking the pronouns they felt fit each one best. Doctor is a character from there, but the name’s different in that fic (hasn’t shown up yet in that fic, actually). I didn’t see any reason to invent a new character to be the medic in Pache when I could just grab one that already existed.

Thunderbird was, like every TF OC I make, an accident. I needed a character with information that could interact with Hot Rod and tell him the things he had no way of finding out on his own (the Great Carrot knows I love Rod, but he’s not in charge of anything that would give him access to privileged information). Now, we have plenty of cold and serious calculating characters, so I decided to write someone that would purposefully try to get everyone to think he’s harmless and good. Someone you’d want to be friends with and would never ever suspect of having a mental file in which he keeps every sign of weakness you’ve displayed around them and who would sell you to Satan for a corn chip if they felt the corn chip was more important than you. Then I went to my list of potential OC names, picked the one I liked best, and Thunderbird was born. The heelys, though, are there because I find them funny (this AU, like many things I do, runs on a delicate balance of things that I love to read, things I find fascinating to explore, and things that appeal to my sense of humor).

@marsreds​: Favorite line you've published?

“I’m sorry, but I love you.”

@marsreds​: Favorite line you've written?

Oof, this is hard, but I’m gonna go with, “Because something has to matter. Because something has to be done. Because there’s nothing else I can do.”

Although I’m also terribly fond of Doctor’s lines about why Medicine’s patron is Adaptus, not Primus. I have a whole mental essay about why Primus being Medicine’s patron doesn’t work, and I’m turning it into a fic one day.

@marsreds​: What do you look forward most to writing?

In general, any bit that foreshadows unwritten fics, or any bit that’s a callback to a previus story (especially when it’s a fic I haven posted yet). Basically, bits that should be rewarding to anyone that decides to re-read the series.

@marsreds​: What even set you off to make this au in the first place?

We were on Discord and someone started talking about how easily Hot Rod could have become a Decepticon. We started talking about how some things would have gone differently, but also how we could keep the canon timeline pretty much the same, and it led to “Hot Rod realizes how messed up their faction has become, so he steals the Matrix anyway and gets shot.” That’s when a line started forming in my mind and I had to write it. 90 minutes later, “The cold” had been written, and from there I had to keep playing in the sandbox. There was too much to explore.

@marsreds​: Can you believe that we didn't know each other when you published the first installment of this?

Wait, we didn’t????????? Didn’t you link me to the server where this whole thing started?

Huh. Wow. You’ve been so present throughout all the plotting that I guess I can’t picture this without you at the beginning.

@marsreds​: What's something that surprised you while you were writing it?

How much it grew. Not as a plotline, but as a world. This was supposed to be an exploration of the progressive distortion of the Decepticon ideal disguised as a hotlock slowburn. I’d maybe throw in one or two OCs from “Such a big deal, though” to make the world seem more populated and believable. Then I was writing “Crash and burn” and I realized I couldn’t really talk about the Decepticons without the Decepticons, but I didn’t know enough about canon characters to fill the world with recognizable names, which forced me to create my own characters. They were supposed to be background characters, show up for a couple scenes, fulfill their roles and disappear forever, and instead they had personalities, alt-modes, and whole stories inside my mind that I can only hint at. It went from feeling like my little AU fanfic to my own alternate timeline, like maybe Brainstorm’s briefcase made it exist and it’s as “real” as everything that’s been published and has aired throughout the years.

Connected to that, I’ve also been surprised by the reaction to this bigger world. I’ve seen someone include Doctor and Thunderbird in their own AU. You declared Crystal Wing your favorite and get super protective of him. I’ve been asked what Thunderbird looks like, and everyone seems fascinated by him. It makes it all feel more and more like its own canon timeline that simply hasn’t been recognized by Hasbro, and that makes me happy.

@marsreds​: Something you would've done differently?

Not really? Nothing that can’t be edited, like the writing in “Alive”, or the bits I’ll eventually add to “Crash and burn” and “Nightlight”.

@marsreds​: How do you come up with names for things?

For characters, I mostly use rollercoasters. I went on Wikipedia one day, found a list of rollercoasters, and wrote down all the names that sounded like they could be used for OCs. Some have been given by others and one is a very unsubtle historical reference that made me feel embarrassed by how shameless it was (there’s a while until you see that name, though).

For places, I think of what happens in the fic in which they’re first named. Then I think of something associated to the events, or to the description of the planet, and then I pick a word that alludes to said events/description and which amuses me. Basically, every planet name is a joke/reference/unsubtle-nod-to-the-plot. All of them. Not very funny jokes, sure, but definitely things that made me feel very clever.

@marsreds​: Am i a good editor and do i actually contribute to the process or are you just humoring me?

Mars, if you didn’t contribute to the process I could just ignore you. When I disagree with your suggestions, I tell you so. When your suggestions make me cry inside but I agree they’re good, I follow them. When your suggestions add to the story, I gladly include them. You’re stuck as my editor until you get sick of me.

@marsreds​: Are hotlock gonna be invited to the thunderdice wedding?

Hot Rod and Deadlock won’t be invited to the thunderdice wedding.

But if there was any way for Hot Rod and Deadlock to be invited, they’d be invited by the groom. The bride doesn’t want to see Deadlock ever again.

@marsreds​: If you had to make a thesis statement for this au, what would it be?

Kindness. That might sound odd in what’s mostly been a slow burn set during a war, but kindness is what everything is built on here. Hot Rod cares about people, cares even when it might get him killed, because somebody has to. Back in Nyon, it was him and the other gutter mechs looking after each other. In “Crash and burn”, his kindness is what saved him, the fact that others remembered what he’d done for them. His kindness is what makes him stand out to Deadlock. It’s his kindness that makes him start doubting the cause and eventually steal the Matrix.

But it’s not only him. Deadlock doesn’t know how to be kind, but he can follow Hot Rod’s lead, follow his example until he can perform kindness on his own. Doctor is in Medicine for selfish reasons, but still goes and puts medgrade in Hot Rod’s hands when he looks like shit, and forces Thunderbird to take care of himself despite knowing he’s a bastard. Thunderbird cares only about himself and his best friend, but he doesn’t see any reason to be rude to people that might be dead the next day.

Kindness is not a weakness and there’s no mold for it. Kindness doesn’t mean never fighting, or never doing anything bad. It just means that, if there’s a good thing you can do, a good thing you know you can do, and there’s no reason not to do it, you should do it. It may never be repaid or it might save your life. You put some good in the world because somebody has to do it. And maybe in the real world kindness won’t be rewarded as it should, but this is fiction, and I’m allowed to write a world in which kindness is valued, even during something as terrible as a war, because it’s a promise, it’s hope, it’s something to hold on to and to remind you that things aren’t always bad.

The thesis is: Hot Rod was kind, and that was the right course of action.

@marsreds​: What would be this au's theme song?

Be More Kind - Frank Turner

@marsreds​: What's deadlock's favourite thing about hot rod? and hot rod's about deadlock?

Deadlock likes that Hot Rod lets him bite him.

Just kidding. Can I say kindness again? But yeah. The fact that Hot Rod cares for everyone. Deadlock came from the streets and was used to nobody giving a damn about him. He joined the Decepticons and got used to being valued for being a fighter. Enter Hot Rod, who values everyone no matter their rank, simply because they’re on his faction. The moment Hot Rod knows you’re on his side, you become one of his people. He’ll take care of you. To Deadlock, Hot Rod is a shelter.

As for Hot Rod? He likes how reliable Deadlock is. He likes that Deadlock seems to have clear loyalties and principles and he sticks to them. If Deadlock says he’s going to follow you until the end of the universe, you can be sure he will. If Deadlock decides to help you, he’ll be there no matter what. If Deadlock has decided that something is wrong, then you can be sure he won’t be looking for loopholes that allow him to do it anyway. He likes that Deadlock is there for him and will always be there for him as long as he deserves it. To Hot Rod, Deadlock is a pillar.

@marsreds​: Objectively, is deadlock considered hot in this universe? (i know hot rod's considered attractive but that's just his personality)

This one technically goes against my “How do I interact with my fiction” rules, because it refers to a detail I’m probably never showing/implying in the text.

What I’m saying is: you are free to ignore this answer if you don’t like it.

It amuses me to think Deadlock is average, physically speaking. People like his face when he’s not doing the murdercat expression, but he’s almost always doing the murdercat expression and has the social skills of a toothpick.

It also amuses me to think that the Autobots think he looks edgy. It’s the bad boy appeal. Hot Rod would find that hilarious.

@marsreds​: What do you like the most about their relationship that is present in this au but not in canon(ish) iterations of these characters?

I wrote three very salty paragraphs in reply to this and proceeded to delete them. Nobody needs that. To be brief, what I like about their relationship here is that their friendship means something to them. Even if this series ended with Hot Rod marrying Thunderbird and Deadlock marrying Doctor, you’d know for sure that there’s so much trust, companionship and love (and I don’t mean romantic love) between them that they’d be in each other’s lives as best friends until one of them died.

@squireofgeekdom: Any songs you associate with any of your OCs?

None yet, surprisingly?

Anon: What sort of key points do you keep in mind to keep track of where characters should be emotionally/in their arc when you're writing stories set at very different points in time, and not necessarily writing them in linear order? It's all very much coherent character/relationship arcs and I'm just very impressed - and the cohesiveness overall. Are there themes that you try to keep consistent across stories to build that?

Pre-Matrix stealing I have a clear idea of how things progress relating to key events, because it’s all very linear. The first relevant change in the relationship happens in “Triage” (still unwritten, sorry), so I know that any ideas for fics that happen before that will have to fit a certain pattern. The next big change is “Nightlight”, because it’s when the mutual pining starts. Before that, it’s only Hot Rod being invested in their friendship. Then it’s only mutual pining until “Declaration...”, and from then on things are mostly stable until “Home” (also unwritten, sorry again).

The hotlock dynamic progresses with their feelings. The only important thing I have to keep in mind is that they must be friends first and love interests second. If I can’t believe that these two genuinely like each other, then it’s time for a re-write. Cybertronians have long lives, which means their friendship must deepen as time passes, and so I can have them noticing or knowing more about each other the later in the timeline a fic is set.

Relating to OCs, there are key elements that will never ever change and which form the base of the interactions. For example, Doctor’s only goal in life is to survive; related to that, Doctor is unimpressed by, but extremely wary of, Thunderbird, despises Deadlock (I’m not talking funny rivalry, I’m talking a feeling that borders on disgust, of finding a person that so absolutely opposes the core of your being that you daydream of beating their face to a pulp and leaving them out for the wolves), and is fond of Hot Rod despite being certain he’ll get himself killed one day. Thunderbird likes to know things for the sake of knowing things and thinks life is one big cosmic joke and that taking it seriously is a mistake; because of that, he’s curious about Hot Rod and really wants to know what will become of him, is reluctanctly fascinated by Doctor, and the only person he loves besides himself is Crystal Wing. Crystal Wing is so slow that he knows he has to use his time wisely, so he’s always in a good mood (it takes too long to overcome a negative emotion), likes everyone immediately (it’s faster to dislike someone than learn to like them), and always says exactly what he means without adornments or metaphors.

As for plotting, I keep notes of key events and the rest is fluid. I know what’s going to happen in “Home”, so I’m free to foreshadow it when I get the chance. I know what happened in “Triage”, so I can write callbacks if I feel they fit the story.

About themes... There are a lot of things this AU is about, but off the top of my head I can mention:

Kindness

Making one (1) person the key to your emotional development is fucked up

Who we are and who we become can’t be traced back to one moment. We’re all the result of thousands of interactions and events that pile up and which we choose to see in a certain way to justify the person we are or want to be

Friendship!

Everything I write must be in accordance to these ideas. Themes and cohesiveness go before everything else, even my own ego and need for approval. Surprising my audience is not as important as feeling I respected the characters and the story.

@choomchoom: Is Hot Rod’s history as an insurgency leader in Nyon commonly known amongst the Decepticons? If not, how did Deadlock find out?

Yes and no. This might count as a spoiler? Stop reading here if you don’t want to know absolutely anything about fics that I’ll write someday.

When Hot Rod arrived, his past was used as propaganda. “Look at the mech we brought in. Someone willing to do whatever it takes in the fight against the Autobots.” Anyone who was around high command or near the area when Hot Rod joined the Decepticons knows his past. After that, it was part of the information in the starter pack. After a while, it wasn’t relevant anymore, and so newer recruits don’t know about his past and might have only heard about this crazy mech that drags injured soldiers out of the battlefield.

@choomchoom: Also if no one has asked about music yet I would love some song recs to cry and swoon to the next time you post an update.

I have a playlist that’s 95% somewhat serious and/or shippy songs (the remaining 5% is “Despacito” and I have no regrets).

Highlights from it include:

The already linked “Be More Kind”, which is this AU’s thesis

The hotlock theme is Los Tres’ “Amor Violento” (loose translation of relevant lyrics: “I’ll spend my whole life in buying yours [...] Love will have to wait for a good while to rest from you and I [...] Because a violent love blinded us / A violent love fulminated us”)

For the post-Matrix stealing to the point at which the war ends, the song is Silversun Pickups’ “Growing Old Is Getting Old”. It also fits for that point at which you realize that your faction has strayed from its original vision

For the Decepticons in the beginning, Los Prisioneros’ “El Baile De Los Que Sobran” (”Join the dance of the left overs / Nobody’s going to miss us / Nobody truly wanted to help us / When we were small we were told / ‘Make studying your game’ / Men are brothers and must work together [...] And it wasn’t so true / Because in the end those games were for others / That ended up with laurels and a future / And left my friends kicking rocks”)

A bit of a post-Nyon mood: Coldplay’s “42″

[scifigeneration]

Eco-disaster films in the 21st century - helpful or harmful?

by Ari Mattes

A scene from the 2017 film Geostorm: many societies have historically attempted to deal with collective trauma by replaying and restaging it in art. Warner Bros., Electric Entertainment, Rat Pac-Dune Entertainment

It seems like every time we switch on the idiot box we are confronted with news footage of another disaster. Bushfires in Australia. A hurricane in North America. A tsunami in Indonesia.

Part of this, of course, is merely a reflection of the sensationalist rationale of commercial news in the first place – in order to sell advertising space, this news needs to be sufficiently engaging to keep people from switching the channel.

But the unfortunate reality of global warming means that natural disasters are becoming more frequent and more severe. And Hollywood cinema has kept pace, offering some recent spectacular depictions of natural disaster in the context of global warming.

Climate change is central to the narrative of the 2004 film The Day After Tomorrow directed by Roland Emmerich. In it, a changing climate leads to a series of extreme storms in a precursor to a cataclysmic shift into a new Ice Age.

The 2015 film San Andreas, meanwhile, looks at the effects of a massive earthquake throughout California.

Geostorm (2017) posits a scientific response to global warming - through the international development of a planetary network of satellites that can control the weather - and what happens when it becomes weaponised.

The latest in this genre of big budget, Hollywood eco-disaster movies is Moonfall slated to begin production in 2020. Emmerich will be directing the $150 million project, which follows a team attempting to stop the moon from colliding with earth after it has been struck by an asteroid.

The script has been co-written by Emmerich and his regular collaborator Harald Kloser - with whom Emmerich wrote the disaster epic 2012, a 2009 film about the race to save the planet as the earth’s core heats up.

Emmerich has described Moonfall as a cross between 2012 and Independence Day (minus the extra-terrestrial element). It’s unclear whether global warming will feature directly in its plot, but given Emmerich’s record of making ecologically aware films, it seems likely.

How, then, do such films help and/or hinder us in managing our anxieties regarding the progressive deterioration of the planet? As natural disasters become more commonplace, is there a point at which we will become too distressed by the real to reproduce it as entertaining spectacle?

A woman wears a mask to protect herself from bushfire-related smoke haze in Sydney this month. Paul Braven/AAP

‘Bad stars’

The term disaster, with its etymology from ancient Greek for “bad star,” has always elicited cosmic allusions. Disaster suggests that the universe is awry; the planets are out of alignment, bad stars are causing chaos and disorder.

The secularisation of disaster in the modern era, through the notion of risk and insurance, attempts to sever this connection to the word’s planetary origins, envisioning it on the scale of the manageable “accident”, which can be insured against.

Yet, in the context of global warming, and following the large-scale atrocities of the 20th century such as the two world wars, the dropping of the atomic bombs on Hiroshima and Nagasaki, and the Holocaust, it’s clear that disasters are far from manageable. One of the ways we have sought to manage our anxieties about disaster is through popular film.

A photo made available by the Nagasaki Atomic Bomb Museum shows a view of the mushroom cloud photographed from the ground during the bombing of Nagasaki, Japan in 1945. Nagasaki Atomic Bomb Museum handout/EPA

The Hollywood disaster film genre has undergone, roughly, two major cycles. The first was in the 1970s. It included blockbuster melodramas like The Towering Inferno, The Poseidon Adventure, and the Airport films (so brilliantly parodied in Flying High).

These cinematic disasters were often instigated by some kind of natural element – an earthquake, or a tidal wave. But they were also often structured around the malfunctioning of technologies in human-built environments (The China Syndrome being a prime example).

The heroes in these films were usually strong, hard-boiled men. Gene Hackman in The Poseidon Adventure, for example, leads, as though by sheer willpower alone, a group to safety following the capsizing of the eponymous ship. As viewers, we are awed by his grim determination in overcoming adversity amid often stark images of people dying.

The second cinematic cycle begins in the 1990s with ecologically sensitive films like Twister, which follows a group of meteorologists as they chase violent tornadoes across Oklahoma, and Dante’s Peak, about the disastrous effects of the eruption of a volcano on a small Washington town. Such films prefigure later, more explicit global warming eco-disaster films, like Emmerich’s masterful The Day After Tomorrow.

While the earlier disaster films were characterised by their ensemble casts and soap-opera like structures, these newer ones dedicate more energy towards showing the disasters (using elaborate CGI and high definition), and imagining social and governmental responses to them.

Affectively, they depend upon the pathos of groups working together to overcome adversity. As in a Christian vigil, the viewer of these films takes solace from participating in this community of suffering.

The Vigil, 1884. Oil on canvas, by John Pettie. Wikimedia Commons

The pleasure of disaster on film

On one level, popular film as “entertainment” offers us reprieve from the petty banalities, inconsistencies and disappointments of everyday life, by giving us a vision of a world ordered into timely narrative. Events are tied together in a fundamentally meaningful fashion.

We are able to defer the concerns of the ordinary for a couple of hours, and participate in a viscerally stimulating and pathos-laden experience. The unwieldy disasters we see in the real world are thereby represented in a contained fashion, allowing us the illusion of conceptual and emotional mastery. But at the same time, this process pacifies us, numbing us to, and distracting us from, reality.

Similarly, our response to disaster films is ambivalent. On one hand, we enjoy watching the ultimately effective responses of the state to the disaster. In The Day After Tomorrow, for example, following some initial bumbling, the US government saves millions of Americans by organising a deal for US migration to Mexico(!)

On the other hand, epic images of full-scale disaster are the visual and visceral centrepieces of these films, and awe and terrify us. Indeed, our most intense pleasure in these films emerges from their sublime images of destruction.

Watching San Francisco fall to pieces in San Andreas is awe inspiring. In The Day After Tomorrow, one of the most sublime sequences involves the ocean swelling and rolling through Manhattan, gathering people and vehicles in its stead after crashing into the Statue of Liberty.

Watching San Francisco fall to pieces in San Andreas is awe-inspiring. New Line Cinema, Village Roadshow Pictures, RatPac-Dune Entertainment

These pleasures in destruction and restoration occur within the context of a more saccharine kind of empathy we feel with the masses of faceless victims. By the films’ endings, we can take solace in the images and acts of community building and collective overcoming. Along with the victims, we mourn worlds destroyed, and are hopeful about worlds beginning to be rebuilt.

The economics of disaster

Hollywood disaster films often feature antagonists who are stubborn bureaucrats and greedy capitalists, but also US presidents who are calm, compassionate and measured, taking an appropriate amount of time to decide how to act and then acting decisively.

In The Day After Tomorrow, this is firstly President Blake (Perry King), who makes cool-headed decisions about the future of America and dies when his motorcade is caught in a storm and destroyed. Later, President Becker (Kenneth Welsh) is magically transformed from a pig-headed obstructionist after he assumes the presidency.

Perry King in The Day After Tomorrow (2004). Twentieth Century Fox, Centropolis Entertainment, Lions Gate Films

This, of course, contrasts with real-life presidential responses to disaster. In 2017, following Hurricane Maria’s devastating effects on Puerto Rico, Donald Trump criticised Puerto Ricans for the economic burden Maria gifted the US government, while simultaneously implying the event wasn’t very bad – not a “real catastrophe” compared to Katrina. This was all while delivering his emergency address on Puerto Rican soil!

At a time in which solidarity and compassion were expected, Trump was criticised by many for making the issue about the US’s economic burden; and yet, like many things Trump does, this inadvertently raised some critical issues surrounding the economics of disaster in the modern era.

US President Donald Trump speaks next to Puerto Rico’s Governor Ricardo Rossello and US First Lady Melania Trump at the Luis Muniz aerial base in San Juan, Puerto Rico, in October 2017. Thais Llorca / POOL/EPA

The imagination of disaster – its preempting, in a sense, its prediction – offers insurers (and the reinsurers who back them), following rapidly updated actuarial tables, a unique opportunity to capitalise on risk.

At the same time, disasters are a boon to some capitalist investors, who are able to buy into the development of new infrastructure for a profit.

Disaster in this way is a chief “innovator”, sucking up surplus capital, offering the most literal realisation of what conservative economist Joseph Schumpeter celebrated as one of the virtues of capitalism – its capacity for “creative destruction”.

Technology and disaster

French philosopher Paul Virilio has argued that the invention of every technology is simultaneously the invention of its accident. The invention of the car, for instance, invents the car crash. While the disaster film is acutely aware of these failures built into every technology, the genre’s relationship towards technology is more complex than outright critique.

Perhaps the most striking ambivalence of disaster films concerns the role – and virtues – of technology in facilitating and overcoming disaster. This is explicitly worked through in “man-made” disaster films like The China Syndrome, The Towering Inferno, and, more recently, Deepwater Horizon.

Natural disaster films like The Day After Tomorrow and Geostorm envision global warming as the product of devastating technological practices, and offer technological solutions to this. In Geostorm, the network of satellites that control the weather malfunction, and rapidly become the cause of even greater disaster as the film progresses.

Geostorm (2017) envisions global warming as the product of devastating technological practices, and offers technological solutions to this. Warner Bros., Electric Entertainment, RatPac-Dune Entertainment

And yet, at a higher level, these films are entirely dependent on cutting edge visual and aural technologies to stage the awe inspiring disasters in the first place. They also require a great deal of investment - of capital, and human labour - and, therefore, create a great deal of waste.

Disaster cinema, in unconsciously teasing out the relationship between technophilia and technophobia, forces us to confront one of most pressing dilemmas of the age of the Anthropocene: should we reflect on and think through the causes of disaster, or use technology to act in the hope of preventing future disasters?

A discourse of technological “solutions” to climate change fits squarely into the logic critiqued by philosopher Timothy Morton in his book Dark Ecology.

Technology, in the first place, depends on the extraction of power from nature, and the conversion of the natural into waste-creating power. Suggesting that something can cohere with a technological “problem: solution” framework is thus perhaps part of the problem itself.

Indeed, the myth that there can be a “growth”-oriented solution to global warming is convincingly undone in one of the key academic works on global warming discourse, Anneleen Kevis and Matthias Lievens’ The Limits of the Green Economy.

By studying Hollywood’s mediations of disaster – its attempts at containment and emotional management – we can perhaps begin to learn something about the ongoing tensions and contradictions that define ecological existence in modernity.

The future of disaster

The sheer frequency of contemporary natural disasters raises the question - is there a point at which we will lose our appetite for watching them staged on film?

I suspect the answer is a resounding “no.” Following September 11, it was commonplace to hear people say the footage of the planes crashing into the World Trade Centre looked like it was from a movie. But what movie? The documentary photo-realism of the footage barely resembled Hollywood’s slick action and disaster spectacles.

More notably, Hollywood films began to adopt the September 11 style after the event itself, with the hand-held, found-footage style realism of films like Cloverfield becoming a cliche by the end of the first decade of the 21st century.

This, once again, exemplifies the comforting finitude popular film narratives offer viewers. The more frequent disasters become, the greater will be the need for emotional management by the corporations that produce popular news and entertainment.

The more desperate people become about global warming - and the emergence of grassroots activist groups like Extinction Rebellion suggests people are becoming increasingly desperate - the more popular media corporations will assuage our anxieties with carefully ordered, pacifying spectacles.

For the last week or so, people have been walking around Sydney with their heads down, eyes red from the smoke, wearing masks to filter the air.

Pedestrians are seen wearing masks as smoke haze from bushfires in New South Wales blankets the CBD in Sydney this week. Steven Saphore)/AAP

This is like something from a disaster film - and similar scenes of the effects and aftermath of catastrophe are continuing to appear around the globe.

Yet, there is no evidence this will curb Hollywood’s appetite for disaster. In fact, cultures and societies - like individuals - have historically attempted to deal with collective trauma by replaying and restaging it in art, from the Chauvet cave paintings to The Longest Day. This may make people feel both better and more helpless at the same time.

About The Author:

Ari Mattes is a Lecturer in Communications and Media at the University of Notre Dame Australia

This article is republished from our content partners over at The Conversation under a Creative Commons license.