#and he is sorta teaching her how to think like an Elf???

[chaoticevilbean]

“What the blazes are you do- gahk!” Callum’s head nearly hit the tree trunk as he attempted to maneuver out of Rayla’s grasp. Her fingers refused to leave his mouth, pressing his lips up so the human could see his teeth.

“I thought elves had fangs,” she pouted. “Was that just a myth?”

Callum managed to pull his face away just as she leaned closer, hissing the moment he could. She yanked her hands away, eyes wide, before grinning even more widely. In moments, she was close enough to almost be in his lap, staring into his eyes.

“You can hiss! Can you purr? Is it an elf thing? Can you make other noises? Wh-”

“Rayla.” Runaan’s voice cut through the air sharply, drawing the girl’s attention. “Let him go. We do not invade others’ space, and we most certainly do not put our fingers in their mouths.”

She scooted a little ways away at that, but remained close enough that Callum kept his focus firmly on her silhouette out the corner of his eye. He wasn’t going to stop watching Adju, but there was no way he was letting the strange assassin get close again.

It took all of two minutes before her resolve crumbled and she started asking questions again.

“So do you really drink blood?”

“Wha- NO! Why would I ever do that‽”

“That’s what the myths say about elves.”

“Elves do not drink blood!”

“Do you curse any humans that enter your territories?”

“First of all, we don’t have territories, we have cities and towns just like humans. Second of all, most elves don’t even know enough magic to ‘curse’ anyone. That’s an entirely different category of spell-casting, and only very advanced mages ever learn.”

“Do you kidnap children in the night? Wait, I already know that one.”

“NO! One, it was the Dragon King. Two, he saved Adju! Three, it was broad daylight!”

“Well, then what are elves actually like?” Rayla looked at him expectantly. “If so many myths are wrong, what’s the truth?”

He was silent for a moment, thinking. He didn’t want to give any information away that could be used against him, but these assassins really did seem like they weren’t going to kill them. Trust was another thing entirely, but maybe he could divulge simple things, at least to sate the human’s curiosity.

“We eat the same things you humans do, only it’s Xadian ingredients. We do not have fangs.” Callum ignored Adju’s knowing smile. “There are six different types of elves: Earthblood, Tidebound, Sunfire, Moonshadow, Startouch, and Skywing. Startouch elves are incredibly rare, while Sunfire elves are some of the most common.”

“What’re you?” The elf clenched his jaw, before taking a deep breath to steady himself and replying. He couldn’t fault her for not knowing something she’d never experienced before.

“I’m a Skywing elf.”

“What makes you different, though?” He startled at that. Her gaze was sincere, but he didn’t understand what she meant.

“What?” It seemed to click that she’d forgotten to explain.

“Well, you were living with the princes and Dragon King, so what’s the story behind that?”

“My dad was a Dragon Guard, he died, and no one knew my mother. So I just sorta... stayed with the Dragon King. Besides my raising, I’m a normal Skywing elf. I don’t even count as an official Dragon Guard.”

“But you managed to get from the ground to that ledge!” Callum didn’t know whether he should regret that now or not.

“Magic.”

“But what magic?”

“Sky magic.”

“So you just levitated up there?”

“No, I was banned from doing that in the den after I got a concussion.”

“That was hilarious!” Adju giggled from near Runaan, clutching his stomach as he and Zym laughed together.

“It was painful!” the elf shouted back, though he had no heat behind his words as he did when he yelled at the older humans.

“What happened?” Adju instantly answered the girl’s question, ignoring his companion’s protests.

“Callum was arguing with one of the Dragon Guards about visiting the Moonshadow elves, and so he decided to start levitating to get out of the conversation. But then the guard kept arguing as Callum just floated up into the air, and they were both yelling really loud so they could hear each other, and then Callum whacked into the ceiling. Luckily the guard caught him, but levitation got banned from the den. Callum had to spend a day on bedrest and he was so bored because he wasn’t allowed to use magic until his concussion healed.”

“He just started floatin’ and none of you said anything?”

“The guard started yelling about he couldn’t just use magic to get out of everything, but Callum never listens.”

“Not to Ibis,” said elf muttered, glaring into the air.

“Ibis?”

“He’s the Dragon Guard who always tries to teach Callum the ‘proper’ way to behave. Let’s just say that no matter what he tries to tell you, Cal is actually very very weird.” Adju stopped talking then, but Rayla was having none of that. She leaned against the tree where Callum was sitting, staring intently at the human prince.

“How so?”

“Well, when he hissed at you, to start. I haven’t met a single elf that does that besides him. Maybe Kazi, if Cal or I asked or someone told them to sleep.”

“Kazi?”

“They’re a Sunfire elf. They were the one that translated Callum’s signing.”

“Ah. Continue.”

“Or, y’know, don’t,“  the Skywing interjected, ignored once again.

“Most elves are incredibly formal around dragons, Dragon Guards, and any form of nobility, simply by nature. Callum is not. He used to remind himself not to hug Janai because she’s royalty, but never did that for Kazi because they didn’t care and they also aren’t in any way a noble. I think he nearly combusted when Janai-”

“SHE DOESN’T NEED TO KNOW ABOUT THAT-”

“-When Janai came over and asked him if he hated her.” Rayla glanced at the now very red elf (huh, she thought he’d blush blue) before inquiring further.

“Why did she think he hated her?”

“Because he always gave me hugs, and Kazi hugs, and any dragons he saw, and many of the other elves, but never her. He turned even brighter than he is now when she asked, and he couldn’t speak at all. I had to explain for him, and Janai now refuses to not get a ‘proper goodbye’ if she sees so much as one other person getting them. It’s hilarious!”

“It’s not hilarious if you’re the one who has to hug two royals before being allowed to leave.”

“Two?” The elf lightly cursed to the Great Ones, before very pointedly turning away and nodding his head towards Adju in deflection. Rayla and Runaan both looked expectantly at the prince, who was glowing at the opportunity to share more stories about his companion.

“Janai has a sister, Queen Khessa. We’ve all gotten really close, and Callum didn’t hug either of them because he thought he had to be formal and stuff. So then, when Janai found out that he was doing that, she told Khessa, and he now isn’t allowed to leave Lux Aurea without giving the literal Queen of Lux Aurea some sort of informal goodbye, which means he has to give Janai one as well. And he always resorts to hugging because that’s just how he is.”

“He doesn’t seem very huggable to me,” Rayla commented, lightly poking the elf’s side. He jerked around to glare at her, before facing away again, refusing to make eye contact. The assassin glanced at Adju, startling slightly when she saw him miming something to her. She narrowed her eyes in focus, a grin forming as she realized what he was trying to say.

‘Try it’

With glee, the girl jumped onto Callum’s back, hugging him with all her might. He tensed instantly, squeaking in shock. It seemed that he was too surprised to say anything.

Three seconds later, he was leaning back into Rayla’s body, limp as a sack.

“Is he... asleep?” Runaan asked, leaning down to talk to Adju. The prince shook his head, holding Zym in his own hug.

“No, Callum just can’t find it in him to refuse a hug. So, since some people have tried to kidnap him by grabbing him like that, he goes limp. If they’re giving him a hug, they won’t let go. If they don’t let go, but are still bad, then he usually just elbows them in the stomach. At that point, he knows it’s not a hug, and he’s perfectly okay rejecting kidnapping attempts.”

“People tried to kidnap you?” Rayla stared down at the blue-skinned being, eyes widened.

“Hmm, mhm.”

“... Are ya gettin’ sleepy?”

“Mhm.”

“....Do you want me to let go?”

Silence met her statement, and they all looked at the young elf to find his bright green eyes completely closed.

“Alright, then. I guess I’m gonna be a pillow for now.”

[milkybunbuns]

i. new beginnings → perfection masterlist → next

w/c: 3.3k

warnings: bnha spoilers ahead (season 1 episode 5 mainly)

a/n: this series will follow closely with the anime although I might be missing parts of it since it’s been a while since I watched BNHA. also i went overboard with this aishhh, though I don’t think future chapters will be so long oh and I couldn’t be original so I stole the quirk idea from one of my old fics on wattpad and added more abilities to it haha

“Aww comee onn you really can’t be sending me to UA, you know how much I like being at home with you!”, you whined at Keigo, grabbing tightly onto his arm and digging the soles of your feet into the carpet of the living room.

 The said man sighed, facepalming, “Look nuggie, I would never do anything to make you uncomfortable but you’re gonna have to interact with people if you’re going to become a popular pro hero in the future like me!!”

“But can’t you just keep home schooling and training me?”

“I would, but I have hero work to do as well at the agency and I wouldn’t have enough time to help you out”, you pouted and kept your ground in the living room. It had already been a fussy morning with Keigo chasing you everywhere to get you to put on your uniform. With a final rub of his temples he spoke up again, “I’ll let you buy anything at the grocery store tonight?”

You looked up at him and stuck a pinky out, “Pinky promise?”

“Yup!!” and before you could even respond he scooped you up, already flying out of the building and flying towards what you assumed was the direction of UA.

“Please warn me next time!”, you yelled over the wind as you held on tightly, you would use your quirk but you still didn’t have a licence and you were still learning how to fly through narrow spaces. Crashing into a building didn’t sound very appetising at the moment. It wasn’t too long before you spotted the easily recognisable glass building of UA, Keigo slowing down for a landing and allowing you to get off.

“Alright I’ll see you later nuggie!”, he waved cheerily, already getting ready to take off.

You just nervously responded with an “uh-huh”, while examining the surroundings, students bustling everywhere. Alright 1-A it was, I should probably ask someone, maybe someone who looks nice. Hmm, how about that purple-haired boy, yeah, he looks like a senior and doesn’t look too bad. You briskly walked up to the purple haired male with elf ears, “Err, hii-”

He looked up at you with shock and you could see bullets of sweat dripping off his forehead, “u-uh h-h-hi”, he meekly responded, looking like he was going to die any second. 

Just as you were about to ask for directions to 1-A, too cherry voices called out to the boy in front of you, “Woah, you’re socialising Tamaki! Great job!”, a blonde boy with blue eyes strolled up to his friend, grinning brightly and giving him two thumbs up.”

“Hey Mirio! Wait up!!”, you turned around, immediately spotting a light blue haired girl rushing towards her friends waving happily. She must’ve noticed you standing there awkwardly and quickly came to your rescue, “Hi!! I’m Nejire and that’s Tamaki and Mirio! You must be a first year here!”, she smiled at you gently, pointing to the respective people as she introduced you to them.

“Nice to meet you Nejire-senpai, I’m L/n Y/n. Also do you know where 1-A is, I’m kinda lost”, you had enrolled as L/n Y/n instead of Takami Y/n as to not reveal the last name of Hawks since it was meant to be kept secret for some reason he didn’t tell you about.

“Speak no more, we’ll guide you there since we’re the big 3 after all!”

“Huh, what’s the big 3?”

“Oh, it’s basically 3 students in their third years who are talented and I guess you could say that’s us. Come on Mirio and Tamaki, let’s help bring this student to her class.”

Mirio took your right side, while Nejire led on in front, pointing out different buildings and Tamaki in the back.

“I’m Mirio! Great to meet you!”, he reached a hand to shake with you which you quickly did, “Same here Mirio-senpai, I’m L/n Y/n.”

“You’ll be seeing us around the school plenty, so if you ever have any questions, feel free to ask us or any of the teaching staff, they’re always happy to help! Well, I guess I can’t really say the same about Mr. Aizawa..”

“Oh, isn’t Mr. Aizawa, Eraserhead?”

“Yeah, he is and as a matter of fact, I’m pretty sure he’s going to be your teacher this year.”

“That’s uhh wonderful, he sounds like a great guy!”, you replied awkwardly trying to sound cheery.

“Don’t worry too much, you’ll do fine”, he patted you on the back reassuringly and at the same moment, Nejire announced that you had arrived at 1A.

“Thank you Nejire, Mirio and Tamaki-senpai”, you bowed to them, before they sought you off, heading for their own classes. Pushing the door open, the room was already bustling with students and you scanned your eyes over the room finding a seat between a spiky red hair boy and a green haired girl who looked a bit like a frog. Honestly, the random desk at the back seemed wonderful at first, but you remembered how Keigo had encouraged you to sit around more social people and they seemed social enough. It was probably the least you could do after he went through all the convincing with Nezu and some other things to get you to UA without having to take any tests.

You were really relieved when neither of them didn’t bother to talk to you, or notice you maybe, and continued on chatting to their friends. It seemed like you were just on time, the bell ringing and yet not any sight of any teacher. Frowning slightly, you were about to get up and go to the staff room which Nejire had pointed out earlier to search for Aizawa-sensei.

 Luckily, he arrived in some sort of yellow sleeping bag which slightly resembled a cocoon, announcing in a sorta lazy and flat tone, “Go somewhere else if you want to play at being friends. This is the hero course.”

The room quickly quieted down and became silent as everyone averted their attention to Aizawa, “It took 8 seconds before you quieted down. You kids aren’t rational enough. I’m your homeroom teacher Shota Aizawa. Nice to meet you. This is sudden, but put this on”, he presented a UA PE uniform out of thin air, or maybe he had it hidden inside his sleeping bag that whole time? “And meet me at the field after.”

Without any hesitation, everyone got up and grabbed their PE uniform from the desk which had their names on the packaging, likely to have been pre-ordered and filed out of the classroom towards the lockers. You grabbed yours, grimacing as a blond spiky haired boy shoved past you, resisting the temptation to yell at him and give him a piece of your mind. Like what, how can someone be so rude!

Upon arrival at the locker rooms, you didn’t really try to socialise with anyone, nor did they, I mean, your locker was in the back corner so they probably wouldn’t notice you anyways which was fine to you. To draw the least attention towards yourself, you waited until all the other girls had headed out happily chatting among themselves, then followed closely behind them and out onto the field where pretty much everyone was already assembled. 

“We’ll be having a quirk assessment test”, well there came the flat recognisable tone of Aizawa, he would definitely be an interesting teacher, that’s all you could say for him. Everyone either goraned or shrieked in horrification at this announcement, quirk assessment on the first day? Well damn, okay, thought first day would be a bit more chill. Kinda ironic for someone who seems like he can’t be bothered to do much himself.

“But what about the entrance ceremony or orientation?”, some girl piped up, yup definitely a bubbly one, she should be pretty easy to make friends with.

Okay at this point Aizawa was just getting a bit too blunt, “If you’re going to become a hero you don’t have time for such leisurely events. UA’s selling points is that it’s ways aren’t traditional, which is the same as how the teachers teach.” You watched him carefully as he skimmed over the class, landing on the rude blond spiky kid from earlier, “Bakugo, you finished top of the practical test, didn’t you? What was your furthest throw in middle school?” So Bakugo is his name, I’ll just stay away from him.

The said boy looked up cockily, a shit eating grin on his face, “67 meters.”

“Okay, then try throw this ball, but you can use your quirk.”

“Sure”, he grabbed the ball, leaning back on one foot in the circle and yelling “DIE!” as the ball flew off. It wasn’t took long before a beep came from a device that Aizawa was holding, showing 705.2 meters.

“Know your maximum first, that’s the most rational way to forming the foundations of a hero”, he seriously seemed to have something with things being done rationally...

A chorus of woah’s were heard throughout the class, well that sure did blow up that Bakugo’s ego. His ego must’ve been too big for his own good.

“This is going to be fun!”, an alien looking girl exclaimed punching her fist in the air.

Followed by a black haired boy excitedly looking on, “So we get to use our quirks as much as we want!”

And yet again, the mood came crashing down as Aizawa spoke up again, “It looks fun, huh? You have three years to become a hero, you think it’ll be all fun and games? Sure, then whoever comes last in the 8 tests will be expelled. Welcome to UA’s hero course!”, earning another screech form the class including yourself. Alright Y/n, you are NOT wasting this change Keigo gave you and you better do well in this!

“Let’s begin shall we? Starting with the 50m dash.”

The first two up were blue haired boy and the frog looking girl who sat next to you in class and before you could even blink, the blue haired boy was already off, speeding past the finish line. His quirk must’ve something to do with speed, so don’t panic Y/n, there’s only so much you can do with speed, you encouraged yourself determinedly looking on. And maybe you were a bit tooo busy encouraging yourself when you noticed the same bubbly brown haired girl patted you on the back.

“Hey, it’s your turn. Also, I’m Ochaco Uraraka, nice to meet you!”

“Thanks Ochaco-san, I’m L/n Y/n. We can continue to chat after these tests, sorry”, you apologetically looked at her before rushing towards the starting line. Beside you, was a white and red haired male with a red scar over his left eye. Okay that’s edgy, time to focus! You activated your quirk allowing wings to grow on your back through the use of light energy which was absorbed through two horns on your head.

Ready

Set

Go!

You flapped your wings as fast as you could making it in 4 seconds which wasn’t too much faster than the guy behind you gliding along with ice. Your brain quickly put together what his quirk was, white represents ice and red must represent fire. Wonder why he didn’t use his fire like the explosions of that Bakugo boy, it would’ve been much faster than skating.

Then came the grip test which you absolutely flunked, only coming in at 43kg which was pretty much the lowest in the class. Well what can some damn light energy do to help increase your grip? All it’ll do is burn your hands off.

After came the standing long jump with you passed with breeze, just flying to clear the sandbox and with the repeated side steps you simply used pure speed to get through it. And at last, came the ball throw the one which you were most excited for since you had a great plan to get a good score. When it came up to your turn you grabbed the ball tightly throwing it up in the air gently right above you, then activating your quirk and encasing it in a bright bubble made of light energy, then sent it off, controlling the bubble to keep going forwards without leaving the circle at all. You concentrated hard, thinking about the ball in your mind and it got more difficult to control until you couldn’t visualise it’s location anymore and let it drop. A beep was heard as Aizawa presented you with his device, showing 1638 meters.

Satisfied with your work, you smiled a bit and got back to your place.

“Midoriya, your turn”, the green haired boy nervously walked forwards, grabbing onto the ball and throwing it. You almost scoffed, if you didn’t feel the teeniest bad for the poor boy who had seemed so confused. Something was surely off about him, how did someone who can barely even use or control their quirk get into UA... He was given another chance, getting almost the same as Bakugo, except his hand turned a weird purple colour. That must be one powerful quirk for one weak body, you grimaced at his injury.

“Ow, that’s gotta hurt, Aizawa-sensei sure is harsh”, Ochaco frowned at the scene in front.

“I mean yeah he is, but not gonna lie, if I was in Aizawa’s spot I’d seriously be wondering how he got in, though he does have some potential with a quirk as powerful as his.”

“I’m sure he’ll get better, hopefully he’s not last, I’m really hoping that Mineta kid gets expelled, I already don’t really like him just by the looks of him.”

“Either it’s a crush or just you dislike Mineta, but then again, you shouldn’t be judging a book by its cover.”

“Eh what make sure you think that!”, she panicked cheeks flushed, “Its just that Mineta guy really seems like a perv.”

“Well, in that case, I guess it’s kinda his own fault, first impressions are key.”

“That’s true I guess.”

The two of you were snapped out of your conversation when Aizawa’s voice rang through the field, pulling up a projection, or was it a hologram? Anyways, you quickly skimmed through the board, searching for your name and you were glad to see you had landed a decent spot, coming in 3rd, just behind the Todoroki kid. And in last came Midoriya, ow, that’s seriously gotta be a huge blow to his self esteem.

“No ones actually gonna get expelled, it was just a rational deception to get you all to go beyond.”

“It was clear it was a rational deception”, Momo who you had seen on the top of the board piped up unhelpfully.

“Ughhh well that’s just greaaat”, you groaned into your hands “and now we appear to have a smartie genius know it all in our class as well”, you muttered annoyed as Ochaco sweat dropped patting your back slowly.

“L/n, you should not be so disrespectful to your classmates!”, Iida reprimanded, chopping his arms up and down.

“Okay thank you thank you.”

Finally school had been dismissed and you stood outside the gates of UA, impatiently tapping your feet as you waited for Keigo to come pick you up as other students made their own way home. It had been 10 minutes already and the bird brain still hadn’t picked you up! Welll, he didn’t really ever specify that he would come pick you up, you just kinda assumed? Frowning, you activated your quirk, not give one hec about the no quirk in public rule since walking home would take forever and you didn’t have that kind of time smh. Flapping your wings and stretching your arms, you prepared to take off and far into the sky where the police wouldn’t be able to see you flying around.

“What are you doing using your quirk in public without a licence?”, a loud voice boomed, stopping you in your tracks.

“Oh hi Endeavour-san!”, you smiled a bit, continuing to ignore his words and continue what you were going to do. You were really great at being annoying and ignoring people, just a trait you picked up from Hawks I guess.

Endeavour deadpanned, “You’re not allowed to be using your quirk and I know you don’t have a licence, so you need to go and take public transport or walk like everyone else.” He was completely ignored as you started floating a bit, “Well, I’ll be off then! Have a wonderful evening Endeavour-san and Todoroki-san.”

You flew off, but before you could get anywhere, Endeavour was already pulling you down by your foot, I mean, considering how strong he is, it succeeded. “Okay then Mr.Smartie, how am I meant to get home now without my quirk huh? I have no clue how public transport works”, you sneered at him, huffing and crossing your arms unimpressed.

“Go walk home.”

“But it takes a long time.”

“Then go figure out the public transport time schedules.”

At this point, you were sick and tired of him and Todoroki looked pretty annoyed as well, so you decided to do everyone a favour. You grabbed Todoroki by the wrist running off and dragging him while waving back at Endeavour, “I promise I’ll return him in one piece! You don’t need to worry!!”

Endeavour was about to chase after you, but you were already gone and out of sight, whatever, he had to return to his patrol anyways. It could also be good training for Shoto to deal with the annoying villains, not saying you were a villain, but you sure did fit that annoying standard.

“Your welcome”, you yawned lazily, staring up at the sky while walking. Todoroki was still confused but if being with you let him get away from being with his father he was more than glad too. Plus, he could use this chance to find any weaknesses about you, you seemed quite strong and could be someone to look out for in the UA sports festival.

“How did you talk to my father like that? Most people would’ve never had the guts to do it.”

“Wellll, for one, I’m not most people and I know him pretty well, I’ve talked to him a lot of times on his patrols. There’s almost nothing scary about him, he’s just a big fire guy walking around with an angry voice, but it’s not like he can harm any of us, he’s a hero.”

Todoroki felt his blood boil at what you had said, Endeavour was no hero, driving his mother to the end of her wits, training him harshly from a young age, some hero. But the rational part of his brain won over the emotional part, explaining that you were an outsider and had no clue as to their personal lives. Todoroki was intrigued with your quirk, he wanted to learn more about what it could do, all he knew so far was that you had the ability to create wings, bubbles made of light energy and not very much else. Considering you were the sister of Hawks (Endeavour had told him, I guess that’s something that Endeavour is useful for), he honestly expected more, but you could be holding back. He considered asking you more about your quirk but that would probably make you put walls up around yourself and see him as a threat. It was probably just best to wait and see your full potential.

You noticed it had become silent and nobody had anything to say, enveloping both of you in an awkward silence. Well, you were pretty sure you were the only one feeling awkward. You made up some lame excuse and sent Todoorki off on his way, glad to be out off the awkward silence. UA wasn’t that bad, you supposed.

next

[starkeaton]

the adventure zone: graduation character list

Well, i accidentally deleted the original graduation character list post, so here i am making another one. Oops. And as always, if anyone has important details i should add then feel free to suggest them!

Here are all the characters introduced in episodes 1-25. Named characters only!

Also i can’t hide spoilers! So, um..... I can’t put spoilers on this one. If you need the version with spoilers try this version of the post that i made on the adventure zone subreddit but youre not missing out on much.

# -EPISODE 1- (19 characters)

Hieronymous Wiggenstaff (he/him): Head of the Hero/Villain school. at least 400 years old. wears shining blue armor with gold accents. also an elf. according to Tomas, he led the charge at the "battle of blood valley", brought the Kingdoms of Rickart and Dawnbreak to a peace treaty, and founded the school. a little boastful, a little prideful, [SPOILERS OMITTED], and overall a pretty good dude.

Higglemas Wiggenstaff (he/him): Head of the Sidekick/Henchperson annex, cranky old elf. has a dog named hero who shows no signs of anything strange at all, ever. 

Gary (he/him): friendly room gargoyle. pseudo-hivemind.

Groundsy (he/him): the groundskeeper. a pretty nice fellow. don't go in his shed.

Hernandez (he/him): beautiful centaur professor of animal handling.

Jimson (he/him): human battlegrounds trainer for sidekicks/henchpeople, world famous featherweight champion, wields a staff. married to crushman.

Crushman (he/him): silver dragonborn with a sickle, and self-described beefy boy! heavyweight blood champion married to jimson. never lost a match for 8 years. full name Frostus Crushman.

Rolandus Fontaine (he/him): former prince, son of deposed king, kind of an asshole, maybe. wears a cape (important detail)

Zana (she/her): "terrifying" tiefling villain sorcerer, friend of rolandus. barkept the test tavern in ep2

Rhodes (she/her): hero ranger, friend of rolandus.

Buckminster Eden (he/him): hero guy. son of "The Iron Lord". their dad is stronger than rolandus's dad. his wiki page says rogue so i think hes a rogue? i never caught that and ive listened more times than i wish i did

Leon (he/him): softspoken buff, bald "fighter" (although i dont remember any clarification on how exactly he fights), sidekick of buckminster, around 28. anyone else keep forgetting he's bald? i keep forgetting it. >!gets sorta-drafted into becoming a falcon for higglemas and so far hasn't done much else.!<

Rainer Michelle (she/her): cheerful villainous necromancer with a floating chair. also, her name is pronounced "rainier" despite not being confirmed as such? travis ships her with fitzroy.

Tomas (he/him): human man with "kind eyes" and a good (psychic???) memory. guidance counselor.

Stewart LeBoeuf (he/him): brawny human man. serves food. there is no joke here, i promise

Mulligan (he/him): teaches potions. mentioned but doesn't appear yet. and we're like 25 episodes in. maybe we'll see him someday

Germaine, Victoria, Rattles (he/him,she/her,???/???): Skeleton crew. They live in the training room i guess, and as a result can never die, because "no one dies in the training room!" (note: someone now HAS to die in the training room). also their races are never explicitly stated but i guess they're probably human? in episode 3 travis brings up something about how many bones are in "the human body" and at this point i think i'm looking too deep into this so i'll just forget about it and you probably should too.

# -EPISODE 2- (9 characters)

Riveau (he/him): halfling, blame-taking teacher.

Mimi (they/them): gnome sidekick who builds cool robot prosthetics

Bartholemus (he/him): owl aarakocra accountant teacher, known for being the best accountant in the land and having a face some might describe as "smoochable". very pro capitalist :’( hope he gets better

Ramos (she/her): goliath teacher of shieldwork. *

Dip (she/her): sidekick, half-orc twin of pip

Pip (she/her): hero, half-orc twin of dip

Festo (they/them): fairy with "beautiful gossamer wings", independent study teacher of magic, loves to party

Snippers (he/him?): Let me tell you my story about Snippers the magic crab. When Travis gave the list of animals that Griffin could choose as Fitzroy's familiar's current form, he listed crab near the start, and this gave me excitement. Now i knew that crab was pretty unlikely but god i hoped that he would choose it. When the list went on- Bat, Cat, Crab, Frog, Hawk, Lizard, Owl, Poisonous Snake, Fish, Rat, Raven, Seahorse, Spider or Weasel- I nearly lost hope. I was hoping so hard that Griffin would choose the crab, but i was ready to accept a non-crab familiar. It was just buried in that list. It wasn't the most useful animal and it was an obscure pick. And as Travis informed him that it didn't have to keep the form for the whole campaign, Griffin said those five words i wanted to hear so, so badly. "Well then it's a crab." Folks, I do not often react physically when something happens in media. But in that moment, i remember very clearly, i fist-pumped and yelled, "YES!!!!!!"

so anyway, Fitzroy has a crab.

Jackle (he/him): kenku teacher of sneakery. creepy dude. apparently knows something about argo? also his name is not spelled "jackal" for some reason. Also in later episodes theyve started calling him "The Jackle" for some reason??? *

# -EPISODE 3- (1 character)

Dakota (they/them): tavern instructor, clad in black/red leather. no race stated? probably human. *

# -EPISODE 4- (6 characters)

Gerry & Tom (she/her, he/him): shopkeepers at barns and nobles who seem to have very bad names. also constantly competing for customers? these guys got dropped faster than the heathcliff quests, which is honestly just sad.

Barb (she/her): the bartender. runs Springs Eternal in Last Hope. has a sweet seeing-eye hawk familiar. 

Jaryd Reginald (he/him): owner of Reginald Ore. Wants the workers to be held responsible for the damage caused by the xorn. (fun fact: originally i wrote down "Jerrod" because i wanted it to sound like a fantasy name, then realized it was probably "Jared" because theyre named after listeners, but i was pleased to find it confirmed that it's actually "Jaryd")

Candice (she/her): A Miner. thought those werent allowed in bars but, i guess not. Wants the mine owner to be held responsible for the xorn's damage.

Jade Johnson Esq. (she/her): lawyer.

# -EPISODE 5- (1 character)

Xorn: a big hungry gem eating guy from the plane of earth Low-Down Deep with 3 arms and 3 legs. why did travis just say "multi-armed" instead of specifying it was 3? who knows! Anyway it leaves

# -EPISODE 6- (3 characters)

Osric (he/him): the man, the myth, the bursar. finally shows up after being mentioned in episodes 2 and 4. he's an elf. 

breeze through the willows (she/her): Pegasus attacked by demons, lost her parents. introduced in ep1 but gets a name here so fuck it. also in ep>!16!< we find out shes a "white arabian pegasus" and i dont think thats a spoiler bc we shouldve really known it from the beginning

Sabor (he/him): Librarian/research teacher. also a TORTLE. Really good at recalling stuff, i guess. kinda reminds me of Tomas's memory thing but i'm sure that's just a coincidence... *

# -EPISODE 7- (1 character)

Mosh (he/him): The goliath blacksmith who welcomes argo into the unbroken chain. Also, and this is specific to the tumblr version of this post, all the characters with an * at the end of their descriptions are also members of the unbroken chain. if someone knows how to do spoilers on tumblr please tell me

# -EPISODE 8-

:)

# -EPISODE 9- (2 characters)

Eeiïäá#æ&éñn (pronounced like "Ian") (he/him?): an imp but without a shitty voice. also happens to not be violent. what a coincidence?

Terence (he/him): a chain devil with a real demonic name. minor boss of the imps. very convincing and very threatening. has the frightening ability to make you zone out during his fight

# -EPISODE 10- (2 characters)

Althea Song (she/her): elf with autumn-orange hair. representative from heroic oversight guild. i'd like to personally thank travis for spelling her name out.

Crabtree (she/her): Artificing teacher. Long gray hair with a long grey beard. no mentioned race, one might guess dwarf but that would be an assumption i suppose. also unbroken chain member, presumably the dwarf argo didn't recognize in episode 7.

# -EPISODE 11- (3 characters)

Marie (she/her): Grey-haired elf woman. She's the school's physician, i guess. Member of the unbroken chain.

Dendra Maplecourt (she/her): Fitzroy's mom. Has hot mint gum, i guess. She was mentioned earlier but i wasn't convinced she was a real person until this episode

Cool Gary (he/him): AYY ITS ME GARYR

# -EPISODE 12-

no new characters again!

# -EPISODE 13- (7 characters hhhyyyuu)

Kale (???/???): Head of the Placement Department, in charge of real world assignments. First mentioned in Ep4 but i missed that the last few times bc it is so brief. Gives exposition about missions i guess????? is that the only reason this chara cter exists

satyr thief (unnamed) (he/him): tries to rob thundermen, dies instantly

Ogre (he/him): teamed up with the satyr. his name is ogre.

Moon (he/him): A Sidekick. small pale sullen guy. no mentioned race. Why is there another FUCKING sidekick WE HAD ENOUGH hhhyuuuuuu

Deanna (she/her): A bigoted centaur with an obnoxious voice. Malwin the Strong's second in command.

Malwin the Strong (she/her): Leader of the centaurs of the scarlet woods. Wants to appease the spirit of the scarlet woods so that thecentaurs of the scarlet woods will be protected in the scarlet woods. Had a relationship with Arturas in the past but their clashes are currently known to get pretty heated.

Arturas (he/him): Leader of the Centaurs of the Valley, i guess. Had a relationship with Malwin. Centaur. Did i mention centaur? i cant think of anything else about this character

# -EPISODE 14- (2 characters)

Calhain (he/him): Human wizard, Malwin's magical advisor. Kind of an amateur wizard in a job high above his skill level. Graduated Wigginstaff's as a hero.

Spirit of the Scarlet Woods: A spirit who requires sacrifice in order to keep Malwin's herd safe and prosperous. Not keen on dubiously canonical combos, i guess. i wouldnt be either. also apparently the sacrifice depends on personal value, not how much value it has to the spirit.

# -EPISODE 15- (2 characters)

Sylvia Nite (she/her): Fitzroy's magic theory teacher at knight night school, who he turned into a catfish by accident. oops!

Chaos (they/them, maybe more): Presumably a deity, gave Fitz his powers and wants him to give in to his chaotic desires. (physical desc: 9 foot tall, iridescent 'mother of pearl' skin, pure white eyes, fine burgundy cloak with gold/onyx lining. their physical form beyond that seems to change every time they show up.)

# -EPISODE 16-

none -w-

# -EPISODE 17-

some demins happened. the big dudes are called "Pit Fiends" and the armored demon ladies are called "Erinyes", by the way. that was incredibly hard for me to figure out the first time, especially without headphones, i thought travis was saying "pig feet" and i just could not discern what the other things were

# -EPISODE 18- (6 characters)

snow on the mountain: shire horse pegasus

storm at sea: peruvian paso pegasus, vehement defender of The Guardian. doesn't have a goofy voice.. but he could have....

thaw of the spring: a winged horse

night of no clouds: a winged hhorse

The Guardian: "An ancient and powerful being that guards the unknown forest." Has protected the flock from demons for many many years. apparently is the voice that was talking to our firbolg in episode 1?

Grey, the Demon Prince (he/him): wants to cause a war, originally wanted to kill hiero and higgs, forces the heroes to build an army to fight his. As "Fauxronimous", he has skin the *color and pattern of* (but not necessarily made of) slate splashed with liquid, pointed ears, sharp teeth, shining eyes, horns of unspecified shape. 12 fucking feet tall. wonder if the slate-looking skin is related to garys. plot twist detected? Also i recently looked at the episode descriptions and found out his name is spelled "Gray", but really does it truly matter?

# -EPISODE 19- (2 characters)

Shabree Keene (she/her): Argo's mom, killed on the Mariah, possibly by the Commodore. Long auburn hair, green eyes. Mentioned earlier but described here, so fuck it.

**Thomas** (he/him): Argo's first mate on the Mariah, as the Kraken, in his chaos-dream. may or may not actually exist.

# -EPISODE 20- (1 character)

The Commodore (he/him): Reknowned hero of the seas, military regalia, great naval hero, presumably responsible for the death of Shabree Keene. No mentioned race. Seriously, they never mention this guy's race. The only thing described about him is how he's dressed and his evil smile. Does that mean he's human? Elf? Dwarf??? Who knows! maybe it just doesnt matter. 

# -EPISODE 21-

none

# -EPISODE 22-

not any of them. not any.

# -EPISODE 23- (1 character)

Ozymondelius (sp???) (it/its): A warforged teacher who just so happens to like war or something? i guess its in the name. only mentioned in this episode, doesnt show up yet.

# -EPISODE 24-

they have a fight in the training room but nobody dies :\\ maybe next time. also no new characters. pog

# -EPISODE 25- (4 characters)

Gherkin (he/him): Tall lankier skeleton, has a scimitar and a merkin, which is a pubic wig... and he wears a jerkin? which i guess is a kind of coat? also i think hes mute 

Tibia (she/her?) : Shorter skeleton with gold teeth, and long canines. i think both of the skeletons are mute actually.

The Lich King aka Gordy (he/him): Rainer's dad. Commands armies of the undead. lives in The Crypt. described as a hooded, skull-faced man with intricate black lines on his face, but changes to a shaved-head man with dark skin and vetiligo. Abandoned as a babby, raised by traveling parents, had necromancy powers, took Rainier in. Not actually very scary at all i don't know why he did the creepy laugh. Kind of a warm fatherly figure actually. hm. also people are speculating Gordy might be short for Gordita and his parents are maybe supposed to be lup and barry but THAT S JUST A THEORY.

our firbolg's father (he/him): A firbolg who lived by the code and was there when our firbolg was banished. Came to respect our firbolg's interest in a new way of life, in his final moments.

TOTAL: 72 NPCS! (well, including 2 extra PCs, i guess.)

Average: 2.88 NPCs per episode.

i was gonna not include the bone-PCs and have it be 69 but our firbolg's dad was just too important to not respect with a spot on the list.

anyway as always make sure to smack me with a blunt object if i forgot any characters!!!!!

[the-thursday]

Can't stop thinking about one thing... The Wargals and Kalkaras where probably the only "fantasy" factor in the whole series. I think it's maybe a little bit shame that we didn't get more fantastic creatures. Like, yeah, I admit it would probably change a spirit of RA, but hey, let's think of this is an AU, I guess.

Imagine if guarding the borders of their fief, dealing with bandits and such things, rogue animals, etc., weren't the only ranger work. I have some idea going on along monster hunters, but not quite that. Not wanting to turn the series into Witcher (though Witcher AU would be phenomenal, okay, shut up Thursday), the encounters with creatures and monsters would be way more rare. And rangers were to deal with them only when it was necessary and humans were threatened.

Just imagine tree spirits in Araluen woods, djinns in deserts of Arrida, Ookami in Nihon-ja, kelpies in Skandia and many other creatures respective to each land and culture.

Basically all these supernatural creatures and so on.

But with no demons and angels and some great magic in general. Just the creatures like imps and so on.

Also, creatures like dragons and such would be something like dinosaurs for us.

Also, as @araluenrangerdanger said "or maybe some creatures don't have to be monsters. They could be sorta familiars? to the rangers, helping them with their duties and such"

Imagine rangers wearing some sort of talismans as well. And having silver arrows as well in addition to their steel ones.

Okay I admit the longer this post is I am straying further from my original idea and topic, so for the sake of this AU, just stick to my first two sentences.

And some ideas for this AU (please, feel free to add!!):

Crowley, on the Gathering: "Okay guys, I swear when I'll find out who let these imps loose free during the examinations..."

-

Halt: "Will, I understand you like dogs and they like you... But I think adopting werewolves is a bit too much."

-

Gilan, loosing his sanity at the sight of some really big bugs and spiders.

Quoting @araluenrangerdanger (with her permission)

"Halt, being the bigger person who's not afraid of them just caresses these big bugs trying to get Gilan come to see them closely (they're not dangerous, of course they're not)

And Will's trying to hide his smile a few feet away until Halt tries to coax him to go see the spider or whatever bug he has now too."

-

Imagine everyone in Hibernia mistaking Will for the trickster Hibernian (Irish) elf

-

And some crazy ideas not included in the original idea (because, like I said, I don't wanna much magic there at all):

Imagine Halt teaching Will something like, "And this is how you draw the protective pentagram" (or whatever that is).

Gilan being this voodoo master.

Gilan having these wild parties with succubuses.

Plot where Morgarath is actually a vampire (he sure looks like it).

And this is all I had to get out of myself. Please, feel free to add your ideas!!

[foxy-knowledgeseeker]

maikka and rayllum for the ask game? (- thinkingisadangerouspastime)

Maikka

when I started shipping it if I did: I don't maybe three months ago when you brought it up in the Aang Server ajdfaskjfsalfs

my thoughts: I LOVE THEM. I had never thought about them until you mentioned it, but the second you shared your thoughts, I was like "I can *see* it!" And now this pairing is in my top for three for both of these characters (mostly because I just think Mai is the second most shippable character, after Aang). It's so unexpected, but I honestly think they would vibe, and

What makes me happy about them: I love to think Mai would find Sokka annoying at first, but his sense of humor, being either really dumb or at his own expense, would end up growing on her, and he would become one of the people that can actually make her laugh (other than Aang ofc!). I also have a headcanon that they are both foodies and would bond over that! Finally, their characters lend to some interesting post-canon concepts when it comes to their roles as politicians/leaders of their respective nation/tribe, Mai's status as Zuko's ex mixed with Sokka's status as one of Zuko's friends, the absolute POWER COUPLE they would be as two nonbending weapons specialists with Sokka being more melee specialized and Mai being more ranged. Just...so much potential!

What makes me sad about them: Realistically, I don't see a relationship working very long-term for them because I always imagined Sokka would want to stay in the South Pole or, at the very least, *really close* to the South Pole, but Mai would not be a fan of the cold. I almost always imagine them eventually breaking up (sad!) OR imagine them in some kind of AU. This is not to say the right kind of narrative finagling can't give them their happy ending; I just haven't played around with it a lot.

things done in fanfic that annoys me: There is not a whole lot of Maikka fanfic out there, and I honestly worked through pretty much the whole tag a couple months ago. My biggest grievance with Maikka fanfic is that most of the fics out there seem pretty shallow right now (short, modern au one shots where the characters have been flattened) or the writer has Mai just like...bullying Sokka...constantly, and not even in the fun, flirty way. Just in the..."you have convinced me they don't even like each other" kind of way. With their common interests but potential to meet any variety of relationship roadblocks, I just want something a little *more* for them, ya know!

things I look for in fanfic: Oop I already answered sorta above, but I love when Maikka fanfic has them confront the issues of their separate roles in their cultures/societies, their shared histories with Zuko, but also plays into their shared interests and compatible personalities. Just let them like each other, but also let them struggle to overcome challenges of circumstance!! It's more fun that way!

Who I’d be comfortable with them ending up with, if not each other: For Mai, either Zuko, Ty Lee, or Aang. For Sokka, either Suki, Aang, or Toph (this is where I out myself as a closet Tokka shipper >.<).

My happily ever after for them: One of the ways I imagine them getting a happily ever after is like...maybe if one of them has a more permanent ambassador position in either location or perhaps an au where they both end up in the same city in a university system as like professors or consultants. Or any number of modern aus have potential. I could be convinced of married Maikka with kids because I think Sokka is actually very family oriented and Mai would be a good mother, but I imagine they would have kids much later than their friends.

who is the big spoon/little spoon: We recently talked about "very tall water sibs" in the server, and now I love it, so I picture a very tall Sokka and a still pretty tall Mai (like Sokka's 6' to Mai's 5'11"), and I think they would mix it up and take turns being the different spoons OR they would be that couple that cuddles face to face, limbs all tangled.

what is their favorite non-sexual activity: EATING or practicing weapons. I love the idea of Sokka teaching Mai to sword fight and Mai teaching Sokka how to throw daggers. I imagine it's something they could both nerd out about.

Rayllum

when I started shipping it if I did: When I first watched the show! I was hoping they would get together and THEY DID, and I was very glad to see it.

my thoughts: They just got that best friends to lovers, mutual respect, learning and growing together, accommodating for each other's strengths and weaknesses goodness! I just them!

What makes me happy about them: I love that Rayla introduced Callum to a whole world full of magic, where he could really thrive with his talents! And I love that Callum believes in Rayla and knows her to be capable and brave and never lets her forget it! They just emulate the kind of relationship I would want with a partner!

What makes me sad about them: Can't think of much right now, but I suppose the xenphobia they have to deal with from their people on both sides. It must be so hard to grow a relationship with that kind of animosity coming from the people they love!

things done in fanfic that annoys me: I have not read much Rayllum fanfic (other than yours!), so I don't have an answer for this really. Stay tuned because I plan on reading more fic for them this summer!

things I look for in fanfic: I want them to deal with the challenges they face in that mature, emotionally intelligent way they always have! I just love when they team up to overcome the odds because they do make such a great team and respect each other's skills and ideas so much! Give me badass duo Rayllum any day!

Who I’d be comfortable with them ending up with, if not each other: Um...honestly I don't think there are many age appropriate characters that have been developed enough for me to have an opinion. I know I don't like Claudia with Callum. Maybe Soren with Callum? I get straight vibes off Soren, though...Oooooh maybe after they have grown up, I could get behind some Callum x Aanya? Just for fun. And I think Rayla would be happiest with another elf, if not with Callum OR I do like an aroace Rayla headcanon, so maybe even no one, and she has a plethora of queer platonic relationships with the whole gang!

My happily ever after for them: Callum moves to Xadia to grow his skills as a mage, and he and Rayla live happily ever after living and learning together and using their skills to help people! I love the idea of Callum finding a home with the Moonshadow Elf community.

who is the big spoon/little spoon: Rayla is the big spoon, no I do not take criticism.

what is their favorite non-sexual activity: Maybe a niche headcanon, but I love the idea of them really getting into their universe's equivalent of chess (I don't remember if they have one in canon, but if not, I headcanon there is a chess-like game). I think Rayla would get really competitive about it, and Callum would approach it very methodically.

Send me a character, ship, or list of characters and I will answer these questions about them

[musesofolive]

Ahh I have been posting a lot today, I’m sure you’re all waiting for me to shut up lol. But not right now! Now that I think of the multi-muse house in my head and how my beloved oc’s are just like living in the place like they’re all roommates, I wanna explore that a lil bit.

Isla:

She is pretty much the closest thing to the mom of the house. She may not be the oldest, but she is the most emotionally and mentally mature for sure. Which, she constantly finds amusing considering Rowan is there and is her older sibling, but I digress! She’s the one who’s got the house set up on a system that works, who’s cleaning what room, who’s getting the dishes, who’s washing the laundry. She settles any disputes that come up in the house that may lead to violence, and she’s always the best shoulder to lean on when you’re not feeling the greatest.

She’s the natural leader of the house and everyone tends to trust her, there’s no one she really dislikes or doesn’t get along with. She gets along well with everyone, but mostly with Ciri and Rowan since she’s known them the longest. She tends to treat Nova like she’s her daughter, is always glad to have Sahar’s level headedness, and does appreciate Riley’s laidback ways.

Ciri:

She definitely keeps things the most lively in the house. She’s an agent of chaos, what can she say? Once she flies into the room, any hope of the atmosphere staying quiet is completely ruined. But she does have a habit for putting people in a good mood...most of the time, when she’s not pranking them or they’re not next to her room where they can constantly hear her singing. She can be more serious and stick to rules if she sees Isla getting overwhelmed though, but that’s really the only scenario where she loses her goofiness.

Isla and Nova are the ones she sticks by the most, with Rowan falling closely behind those two. She knows that they’ll enable her chaos whenever she decides to cause it. Riley is next after that because he’s just so easy to get with pranks, and it’s super funny teasing him, especially when he thinks his flirting is getting him literally anywhere. Sahar she doesn’t stick around too much, she gets the sense that the soldier can’t tolerate too much of her shenanigans and so for Isla’s sake, she leaves her be for the most part. But Sahar does tend to stop by to listen to Ciri’s songs when they’re not too bombastic.

Nova:

I love my girl, and it’s because I love her that I tend to deem her the emotionally wounded teen of the house. She’s not an actual teenager and she doesn’t act like one really, but Nova has been the most emotionally and physically scarred out of all them and has not had the time to heal any of it over yet, like the other roommates. So, she sticks to herself a lot. She used to only come down for meals and stay holed up in her room, but Ciri eventually wouldn’t have any of that and dragged her out from time to time. That came to the agreement that Nova will spend time with some of them outside of meals so long as Ciri stops busting her door down and dragging her by the arm. But for the most part she just follows the rules set and keeps her head down.

Ciri is the one she hangs around most, not entirely by choice, but she is the one she’s most familiar with so it’s better than a stranger in her opinion. After that is the Comerde siblings. Isla is very comforting, warm and treats her nicely. And she helps in such subtle ways so that Nova doesn’t have to feel embarrassed for asking for help. So when it comes to who she likes Isla actually sorta takes the cake. As for Rowan, they’re quiet and don’t usually ask too many questions. So, when Ciri and the others get way too overbearing, she rolls up to their room and just vibes with them while they read or do work, it’s a very mutually beneficial thing. Sahar’s not too far behind, she’s a bit too intense sometimes for Nova to vibe with her properly like she does with Rowan, but she’s helpful in getting her anger out, and helps her get better at self defense which makes her feel safer and less like she needs to lash out constantly. And then there’s...Riley. She does not like Riley. A. He’s a human man. B. She knows all the charm and flirting is just a facade, and she hates it. She doesn’t like people being fake with her, because then it reminds her of Dorian and makes her wonder what they’re really hiding. Also he’s way too touchy for her liking. Everything about him just rubs her the wrong way so she tends to stay away from him, and if she can’t, then those two are going to get into a fight.

Rowan:

They are simultaneously one of the chillest and one of the strictest in the house. Which makes no sense, but it’s true. Like, no, go ahead, do whatever you want, as long as you’re not bothering them, they really don’t care. But also, if they catch you not doing your chores or not following the rules, they will harp on you subtley like no tomorrow. They helped design the system set up actually, and they tend to supervise how it goes, suggesting different things to try to Isla when they notice something that can be improved. They sorta tried to take over as leader of the house since they believed they could run it better...yeah that lasted about a week before they handed that title back to Isla with a shake of their head. This group is nothing like their tribe, they just can’t. So, instead they’re like Isla’s left hand, enforcing the rules and keeping the peace from the shadows...but also not, because they are an enabler of chaos at their core. Not an agent, but if someone is looking to fix up some good natured mischief, they will gladly help and sit back and watch it all unfold. But usually they’re either in their room or in the library, working on papers for the trading business to send back to their father.

The Skywings are the two they get along with best, but for different reasons. Ciri creates glorious chaos while still following the rules, and they find that absolutely immaculate as they do whatever they feel like to help her. Nova is quiet and precisely what they need when they get into one of their “I’m surrounded by idiots” moods. Isla comes next, there are worse people, and she is still family. When they’re homesick they spend more time than usual with her, just to be reminded that there is still a piece of home with them. Sahar and Riley come afterwards. Not that they really dislike anyone here, if they don’t like them, then they have a neutral disposition at most. Sahar is just neutral territory because they’re very alike in some aspects, but she also shares some of Torin’s traits. It’s like an amalgamation of them and they find it interesting. And Riley is also someone who causes mischief, which they like, but also, they just...cannot deal with the flirtiness. Like at all, it flusters them way too much. If they are with Riley, it has to be in a group setting because otherwise they’ll just be blushing like no tomorrow at Riley’s endless flirting and charm.

Sahar:

If Isla’s the designated mom, Sahar is oddly enough sort of like the dad. She respects Isla and her desicions greatly, and enforces them more directly than Rowan does. She is Isla’s right hand woman for sure. She makes sure everyone is safe physically since that’s her better strong suit as a guard/soldier, she lets Isla handle the emotional aspects. She’s also the one to break up any fights physically, she’s tall and strong, it’s what she’s good at. She usually spends time in the training room, especially when she’s worked up, but honestly she makes her rounds to just about every room in that house that isn’t someone’s bedroom. She likes knowing the layout.

She prefers Isla’s company more than anyone else’s. The elf is just one of the few she doesn’t have to be all soldier-face with (and Isla is 100% teaching her how to dance. Sahar wasn’t convinced she’d be any good at it, but Isla’s proving her wrong.) and genuinely feels like she can be relaxed around. They respect Rowan’s professionalism and regards for the rules, even if they do let mischief happen. She feels both pity and admiration for Nova, she has clearly gone through things that would probably kill weaker people. And she wants to let her know that her battle is over, there’s no more need to keep fighting and it’s time to heal. But, words aren’t always her strong suit, so she tries to express that with how she spends her time with the young elf. She finds Ciri annoying and troublesome, but in a good way, if that makes sense. She’s like both a pesky hummingbird that keeps flitting around her face, but also reminds her of her brothers so she doesn’t mind it. So, she tolerates the Skywing so long as she doesn’t get herself into too much trouble. She tolerates Riley the least. They’re just two very different people. Sahar is about upholding the law and protecting others and being selfless, Riley is a con man who is selfish and literally only thinks about himself. Plus he’s committed crimes in her very country. Safe to say, opposites do not attract this time around. She’s much more no-nonsense with him than anyone else.

Riley:

I feel so bad but this one just like...gets picked on mercilessly. He is constantly bullied in this household, but not in a way that’s genuinely like upsetting just, teased a lot so that he can learn and get character development. And I promise the others aren’t treating him too badly and Isla always steps in if she feels everyone needs to lay off. That woman is basically Riley’s saving grace because she’s the only one who doesn’t pick on him. Not to say others don’t enjoy his presence on occasion, he didn’t learn his people skills for nothing after all, he’s usually one of the bigger talkers at the table and keeps the atmosphere nice and light. Either with his skills, or by being the comic relief. He’s starting to get fond of libraries all things considered, so he does find himself there often. And if he’s not there, he’s usually in the game room fiddling with some pool or playing cards. If he can rope the others into joining him, he’ll play some poker or just generally a game or two. And the bar, that man loves his alcohol.

Isla and Rowan are at the top of his list. Isla, for being the motherly saint she is and constantly getting the others to stop bullying him, plus she’s the only one who can in all actuality, handle him. She plays along with his games without ever actually losing, and she never gets boring to talk to. Which surprised him, because she’s one of the most sentimental, family-oriented people he knows. He didn’t think he’d ever get along with someone like her, but she’s just that inviting. And then there’s Rowan, again another family-oriented type. But he knows he started liking them because they fluster so easily at his flirting. He does love to get under people’s skin and tease them. Plus, for as family-oriented as they seem to be, they care in a very sensible way. And when he’s at the bar, usually drunk, he wonders if he could have ever been like them had he been with a proper family. He doesn’t really dislike Sahar, so much as he is just...frightened of her. Like, every time she looks at him, he can just tell she’s imagining putting his head on a pike or something. He’s very happy there’s a no fighting truce in that house, otherwise he’d have fled that house so fast to avoid getting either murdered or brought to jail for so many years by her. And Ciri and Nova are tied for the ones he dislikes the most. Ciri’s got an annoying habit of pranking him, and it sucks because nothing he ever does seem to get under her skin, he’s tried everything. But there’s nothing that does the trick, but she gets under his skin so easily and it drives him crazy. He only approves of her mischief from afar, and he hates that she constantly makes up little tunes that mock him. And then there’s Nova, and he was a little surprised. He didn’t think he’d ever end up liking her, sure, but like the animosity she shows him for literally no reason just astounds him. There’s nothing he can do to rectify it either. Everytime he tries it just gets worse, and he hates working with people he can’t control at least a little. That, and I mean, the guy is 40, she’s 25, the difference in mentality just makes them even less likely to enjoy the other’s presence. He’s constantly saying “who do you think you’re talking to, little girl? Hasn’t anyone told you to respect your elders?” To which she always snaps back “I’m an elf, you crusty bag of bones! Just because I look younger than you, doesn’t mean I am! And there’s hardly anything to respect from someone who’s an outlaw in every nation they can hide in!” Like just...keep them away from each other. The insults are funny at first, but it’s not long before someone makes a move to attack or say words that are going to cut too deep.

[sublimegentlemanalpaca]

A Current list of Eldritchicians those developed and under developed.

I will list the Currently thought up Eldritchicians. This might be repetitive but ah well. Will have their name, what Eldritch topics they’re familiar with, any particular interesting bits about them like if they’re part of a Splinter group or what have you. Hope you find this interesting, and if you have any questions be they important or otherwise...please ask away! Please? Alyss Violet Eldridge: First Eldritchician. The Arch Overseer, Founder and leader of the FoE. Adopted daughter of Alvis Vadim Eldritch. Raised by Alvis and the rest of his Fellows. Has learned a little of everything from the each Eldritch Fellow (even Alastor) Skilled in the Rapier, Carnwennanian Dagger, excellent persuader and diplomat (when necessary). Always has a book on her person. Has an Awoken Shadow. Is Dark skinned with unnaturally white hair. Wears three Rings. Her Overseer and Arch Overseer Rings on her left (An Iron Ring set with Amethyst and a Silver Ring set with Lapis Lazuli), and a Ring gifted to her by the Eldritch Fellows which is visibly made of Orichalcum with a brilliant blood red stone of some sort (a very philosophical sort). Immediate superior to all Eldritchicians. Will occasionally not wear her Overseer Rings and go about business as a simple Eldritchician, usually teaming up with Tomomi and Charles Williams. Overseer Secundus Sinbad Al-Amin. A Cartographer and Blacksmith from Damascus. Knows how to make Damascus Steel. Has learned from Alvis(Wisdom) Albus(Ghosts and Sea Creatures) , Algimantas (Items and Objects and Allan (Demons and things considered Demons and such). Vice Chancellor of the Academy for Eldritchicians. An avid Cartographer of Strange and unusual Locales. A friend to Alvis. Wears two rings. One is his Overseer Ring, the other is a Agate Ring which to my knowledge is a custom of Muslim men. If this is incorrect, please correct me. Overseer Morgan Maddox. A Scottish (or Welsh? I’m not sure yet) Warrior. Friend of Alyss. Heads the Saint Alyss Academy for Eldritchicians. Skilled in Spear, and Carnwennanian Dagger. The Overseer who ...oversees the paperwork for the occasional necessary extermination and such? Monster hunting and the like. Learned under the Legendary Scàthach before meeting Alyss and the Eldritch Fellows. As an Eldritchician Studied under Alvis, Algimantas, Albus, and Alaire. Her Spear is made by Albus from The bone of a Sea Monster, Silver, Cold Iron, Meteoric Iron, And Orichalcum. Has a Prosthetic Arm of Magic Silver made by Algimantas. Wears her Overseer Ring on her left hand. Overseer Runa. A Norse Elf who along with her sister Huld followed Alvis around for a month or two certain that he was Odin. When the two realized Alvis was in fact not Odin they stuck around all the same. Runa joined the founding Eldritchicians while Huld helps in managing the Archives alongside Sophocles. Runa is basically the Bard (or Skald I suppose) of the Overseers. Has studied under Alvis, Algimantas, Albus, Alaire (for storytelling). Wears her Overseer Ring on his left hand. Overseer Cosmin The Solomonar: as the Title suggests, Cosmin is a (former?) Solomonar. A Wizard (?) From Romanian Folklore (Mythology?). Controls the Weather and rides a Dragon. Runs the Grey School, modeled after his own Education as a Solomonar at the Scholomance. Already knew a whole lot but has studied with Alvis, Algimantas, Albus, Alaire, and studied with Algernon even. Wears his Overseer Ring Overseer Archimedes: A Mothman. Tall black winged thing . Best friend to Alaire. In charge of the Fellows In Grey, a Splinter group in the Fellowship that deals with Cryptids, Aliens, and so on. Does not wear his Overseer Ring nor any of his pins. He leaves all the stuff which denotes him as an Eldritchician with Alaire. Alaire being the only Eldritch Fellow to actually kinda sorta join the FoE. Sophocles of Alexandria: Head Archivist for the Fellowship. He is not really an Overseer....he is imprisoned in the Archives for having tried stealing a book from Alvis...this did not end well for Sophocles place of Employment, The Library of Alexandria (books were sparred, rest was destroyed). Can not leave the Archives. Medusa: Former Priestess of Athena, Gorgon. Studied Alvis’ Wisdom, Algimantas’ stuff (who she hates), Alpheas, and with Albus. In a Trio with Ismene and Prioska. Studied shapeshifters and transformation with Alphaes (spelling?). In a relationship with Ismene. Her serpent locks are Golden. Ismene: Former Priestess of Athena. Also a Former Statue. Still has some Statue characteristics. Studied with Alvis, Algimantas, and Albus. In a relationship with Medusa. Prioska Lakatos: A Vampire from Hungary. Skilled in Clockwork. Has a Coat she stole from Albus. Calls Albus Alucard. Studied under Albus, Alvis, Algimantas, and Alaire. On a Trio with Ismene and Medusa. Also a part of Alyss’ Intelligentsia (keeping track of other secret Societies and Spy things). Loves teasing Quincey. Quincey Johnathan Jack Harker: Eldest son of Johnathan and Mina Harker. Vampire Hunter. Studied with Albus (Ghosts and stuff), Algimantas, Alvis. Duel wields Bowie Knives (one belonging to his Namesake, the other made of Adamant by Albus). Is Bi...not always the brightest...Can see Ghosts. On a Trio with Horatio and Runa. Might be in a relationship with Huld? Lucius Abraham Arthur Harker: Second Harker Son and Younger brother to Quincey. Is not an Eldritchician. He is a ghost though and is haunting his Brother (‘To keep an eye on my dummy of a Brother so he doesn’t get himself killed). Will regularly set up Hauntings so as to set up his brother with Eligible Bachelors and Bachelorettes and so on. Huld: Norse elf who followed Alvis for months thinking he was Odin with her sister Runa. Might be in a relationship with Quincey? Learned from Alaire, Albus, Algimantus, as well Alewar (Eldritch Horrors In a Extra Planetary Or Lovecraftian sense), and Alwin (Fae and Elves). In a relationship with Quincey? Leader of her Trio? Horatio aka ‘Doctor Faustus’: A Danish Man recognized for dressing in all black. Wields a Rapier. Known as Doctor Faustus since he’s studied Demons with Allan and he studied at Wittenberg. Studied with Alaire and has an Awoken Shadow. It is named but he always says it so quietly, only Horatio and Alaire know the name. Quincey has been able to catch that the name of Horatio’s Shadow starts with an H...followed by an A. Horatio has put all his Eldritch studies into Shadows, Demons and Ghosts. It is rumored he gave his Soul over to Allan V Eldritch. Wields a Carnwennanian Dagger Or a Bespoked Bodkin. Leaving his own Shadow...Lighter for lack of a better phrase . In a Trio with Quincey and Huld. Aeschylus Adams: A Werewolf Ranger, and one of Alyss’ Intelligentsia. Think of a mix of Aragorn and Halt O’Carrick. Excellent Thief and Pick pocket. Studied with Alaire (Cryptids, Shadows, and Folklore), Albus, and Algimantas. Studied Druid craft and stuff with Alfr. In a Trio with Midas Little and Murdann. Dr. Mercury Little: one of Four Little Brothers (three of whom are a part of the FoE), differentiated From his brothers by his Seemingly unnatural Silver hair. Studied Angels and Alchemy with Aldread, Albus, Alvis, and Alaire. Murdann Eldritch: A Finwife From Orkney. First Wife of Albus Viggo Eldritch. Joined after having been with Albus for some years. Knows what Albus has to teach, learned from Alvis, and Alfr. An exceptional Healer. Regularly has Weaving Contests with Ismene and Medusa. In a Trio with Dr Little and Aeschylus. Open relationship with Albus. Dr. Hermes Little: Same as Doctor Mercury Little. Only he has white Hair. Eldest of the Little ‘Brothers’. Studied all the same stuff. In a Trio with Charles Williams and Clarissa Williams. Charles Williams: Once an Editor now an Eldritchician. Tried repeatedly to join the FoE and finally managed it after trying forever. Studied Alchemy and Angels with Aldread, Magical Items with Algimantas (specifically Relics), Ghosts with Albus, and a bunch of others (Alvis, Alwin, and Algernon). The Left hand of the Arch Overseer. Go to diplomat between other Secret Societies. One of Alyss’ Intelligentsia( occasionally answers to the Codename Walsingham). Also, I should mention he’s an ESPer....Telepathy, Telekinesis, and Pyrokinesis for fun ;) . Clarissa Williams: Alternate Charles Williams. ESPER, Can see Ghosts Naturally. Intelligentsia member (Code Name Francis). Dr. Midas Little: same as the other Doctor Littles except that his hair is Golden. In a Trio with Tomomi and Dr. Leeds. Tomomi.: a Kitsune, friend to Alyss since she (Alyss) was young. Expert on Yokai and things. Studied with Alaire, Alvis, Albus, Algimantus and Alpheas (because shapeshifting). Just decided to be the guardian of Alvis’ Bookshop when they were in Japan one time. In a Trio with Dr. Midas Little and Dr. Leeds. when not going on solo missions for Alyss. A part of Alyss’ Intelligentsia (Code Name Dee, because she wasn’t fond of Kit Marlowe as a Codename). Doctor Mary Leeds: 12th Child of the Leeds family and the immediate Elder sibling and Caretaker to John Daniel Leeds...aka...the Jersey Devil. A Medicinal Doctor. Studied with Albus, Alvis, Algimantas, and Alaire. Stood up for her baby Brother when he killed one of the Night Crawlers working for Archimedes. She keeps track of Her Brother to make sure he doesn’t cause trouble (otherwise Archimedes and Alaire will need to deal with him). Learned medicine from the Black Doctor Ghost. One of the Fellows In Grey. Developed the spray they use to wipe memories and things. Mr Erland Ranswell: A Grey Alien in a Grey Suit. One of Archimedes’ Fellows In Grey. A Linguist and Cartographer. Has endeavored to learn the Whooping language of the Fresno Nightcrawlers Employed by Archimedes and Alaire. In a Trio ‘officially’ but not really with Dr. Livesey and Dr. Mercury Little. Dr. Yorick Roger Livesey: Once a Ship’s Surgeon now an animate Skeleton (rather than a Ghost like most who stay at Albus’ Lighthouses). Dressed in Piratey clothes and wears one of Albus’ old Coats when not doing Surgery or what have you. Has studied with Albus, Alaire, and Alvis. As well as Algernon. Can not speak and communicates In two ways. Either sign language or a horrible creaking noise that has an echo of bone saws. The first is interpreted by a Talking Raven Named Apollo Teach, the second by a Talking Snake Named Asclepius Hands. Asclepius’ Voice is supposed to serve as an auditory Balm after hearing Yorick Speak. Dr. Livesey gets along with Murdann and Prioska. He works closely with Albus ( being his First mate in a way?). Teaches medicine at Sinbad’s College for Eldritchicians. When out and about he will wear gloves and a mask to hide the whole...being a Skeleton thing. Dr. Mercury Little: Same as the other Little’s his hair is Silver and he looks younger than Hermes Little. Miss Calista Flatwood: Archimedes Second in command for running the Fellows In Grey. Is the Flatwoods Monster.... Mister Ray Green: A little green Alien. Astro Cartographer. Teleportation technology? I don’t know. Just thought to have a little green man. One of the Fellows In Grey. Let’s see am I forgetting anyone...ah right. Rosemary: A Fairy, once Royal Retainer to King Alberich (who is now Alwin) V Eldritch. Corrupter of Words. A Member of Alyss’ Intelligentsia, Rosemary keeps his eye on the the goings ons of The Fae Courts since his Master has had to abdicate. Is ultimately Loyal to Alwin, but works for Alyss under Alwin’s orders. The expert on Fae among the Eldritchicians. The Nightcrawler Corp: A bunch of Fresno Nightcrawlers that act as Scouts and Recon and things. They are Archimedes’ Eyes and ears for all the goings ons of Cryptids and whatever else they’re asked to look into. They answer to Archimedes only or those who relay things from Archimedes. They communicate in a series of Whoops and Kicking. Only Archimedes and Alaire are fluent in their language. The Hide Behind Network/ Erebus Hyde: A Hide Behind was stalking Alaire once...only to get caught by Aldjoy (Alaire’s living Shadow). Alaire befriended the Creature, and gave it the Name Erebus Hyde. The Hide Behind Network is all Hide Behinds being in a sort of Hive Mind (A Hide Mind?) they are many....They are not Shadows as Alaire originally thought. But they are something...something Old...perhaps only younger then the Eldritch Fellows themselves. Certain Eldritchicians (Dr. Leeds, Horatio, Overseer Morgan and others) know when a Hidebehind is behind them, and they will be sure to make people who they’re giving messages to know they’re there. They all answer to the name Erebus Hyde...all address Alaire as Friend, (and Address all the other Fellows by that title)...others they’ll address by their relation to Alaire. Okay..I think that’s everyone! And in Trios to! Be sure to ask any questions about any of these Fellows you might have. Stuff subject to change. Make of this what you will. Al, the Chronographing Cottager and Prince of Naming

[weirdness-on-the-roof]

Shitty episode 49 notes

so this time its mostly dialogue. I’m not a fast typer so i definitely missed stuff and my spelling is atrocious, but I did use the break and until the live stream ended to fill in the gaps I could. This is pre and post break notes. Obvious major spoilers, lots of weird details i wrote down that matt said b/c we never know when something is gonna be important or come back/ be relevant.

Also I love Beau with all my heart.

Have fun ya nerds :) 

Episode 49 Notes:

Chair has replaced uktatoa for echoes

Matts wording in the summary are so careful

Short brown hair, green and black robes necklace with circular gems lots of rings, middle aged/ young for an elf

Nott knows a place--- river bank spot

They were noted by the locals

Pretty river with shaded trees

Beau checks to see if followed 21 perception, people aren’t keeping watch but the righteous brand are gathering at the southern fields where the operatives were coming from

“What the fuck”-Jester

thanks Laura for voicing not only Jester but the entire fan base

Nott doesn’t want to leave “you can leave but i need to stay” ouch that hurt

Nott doesn’t expect them to stay

“We are a target”- Cad

“Your son????” -Jester “is it your son or are you even a goblin??”

Nott “[we don’t need to pretend we don’t keep secrets]”

Nott feels chained and not able to move forward, is ok with being open and honest so ‘we can move ahead’

Rephrase from episode one broke my heart

Nott: “Well hi, my name is Nott the brave and I’m a little goblin girl. But, once upon a time i was Veth, a young halfling woman and before that, a halfling child who grew, um, up being told that she was pretty and not brave and not coordinated and not smart and just not..

Jester line

Nott: Yea, I was. And then, ya know, time went by and i got older, i was made fun of quite a bit. I had this um, Ppl thought i was strange, b/c i collected things, i collected lots of things, they were outstanding. They were wax seals,and pieces of colored paper, and some buttons and fabric,

Beau line

Nott: All kinds

Beau line

Nott: Well they didn't think so, i had brothers and people in town who would just ridicule me

Jester: that was here

Nott: Yes, and one day i um  i was playing a game with the other boys and they dared one of their friends to give me a kiss, and the boy was very nice and he actually seemed to like it and he and i became friendly and eventually did what people do and got married and he didn't mind my strangeness and i helped him get his apothecary up and running and he was a brilliant chemist and could make acids and potions and oils and bleaches for fabric for all sorts of things and he helped me. Eventually we had a baby named luke and he was a bright boy, very smart, he learned to talk very early and walk very early. Such a smart boy and that's who you saw back there is my son.

Jester: so was he right, did you die?

Nott: I think so, I think so, uh. We had a rough winter in felderwind, there were not a lot of crops and i think some of the animals had died that winter. This river i brought you to this sort of, it's a beautiful place i used to come here with yeza and it's an important place i used to come here with yeza… the goblins would come from over there, they would raid from over there [points]... They came into town and raided more and more, they took us. They took me and my husband and my child, they held us in one of their camps. I don’t know if it was days or weeks or months. Luke, he wasn’t doing well….. We ran, we ran in the dead of night, they were fast, i've been chased a lot… i told them to run… the goblins followed me and when they found me i fought, i had a vial of acid and i threw it in the face of the one trying to catch us, they took me back to the camp. I think he died from his wounds…[I think he was a type of leader] i think he had a wife. This goblin told the woman ‘make her suffer’ and they did. They brought me to this river and they drowned me in it. I can still feel the water in my lungs and in my ears and in my nose. And then nothing. Until i woke up and saw the hands.. The skin and i looked in a puddle and i could see what they made me. They made me into everything i thought i was. Not pretty, not good, just not. I'll be honest, i've started forgetting what it was like to be halfling. Just everyday just more and more goblin…. I'm sorry i didn’t tell u and im sorry i lied and i'm sorry caleb i didnt tell u. You would have understood and you could have helped me, i dunno. I feel like you're almost there like you're almost strong enough…. Anyways that's how i got to you, and that's why i got to you and why i can't be in this town. Well i only recently started signing the letters. I don't know what he would think of me. {Missed a lot here}

{nott was in the goblin clan kinda as a slave} I would clean out the messes and clean after the meals. The one [goblin] who tortured, i would help him, maybe six months. So maybe a year, no more than a year, a year and a half? I don't know exactly.

Cad can sober up Nott and Nott lets him via lesser restoration b/c alcohol is a toxin

First time we’ve seen sober nott in a while

They’re in the valley [la joke?]

The Goldfield Tavern and Lodge

Beau to Caleb: You puked all over that apothecary so something is definitely not right

Liam is so good

They headed south towards the woods for the chat

Fjord very pointedly asks if nott is ok leaving his son. He asks twice.

Caleb won’t talk in town

Edith is staying for now and nott gave her 200 gold.

No one in town knows that Veth is alive

‘I forgot what he looked like. He forgot what i looked like.”-Nott about Luke’ we need to know the ones we love.”

Beau: Nott you drowned, and you just spent three months underwater, that's incredible. I don't know if you realized that. Its incredible.

Fjord thinks Edith and Luke should leave town. Jester offers to send them to her mum. Possibly going just more west without crossing the border.

Letter to Bryce to get them somewhere safe and closer to border in case of speedy exit of the empire.

Nott  admimatly wants to find Yeza

Jester via sending: “Hello, its jester. Two people incoming, a woman and child, take care of them please. Were sending money with them, it is important. Please help.”

Byrce, not really surprised: “Um alright. Ill do my best. Please don't send too many more.”

Liam trying to stay in character and not laughing at jokes during Bryce chat

Most of the righteous brand have gathered and are heading north east, leaving felderwind. People are trying to pick up and move on

Chat in wagon in back, hidden, Cad. 60 yd radius of warning if someone is gonna pass them

Beau to jester b/c they’re telling the truth now: “I didn’t sleep with dyren. She wasn’t my roommate. She was my teacher.” and she taught beau “how to kick as and take names bitch”

Jester trying to be helpful and fjord trying to be supportive

Caleb: “Your name is Veth?” “it was.”My name was Bren Aldrich Emendroot. Was. and um… I uh, i uh

Look at Laura

Jester: “Did you die too?”

Nott: “twinnies?”

Caleb: “I have been using you all.”

Jester, confused: How?

Caleb:I am from Rexingtrum. I attended Soltrace Academy. I was plucked by one of the cerborous assembly and was being trained to do the things that i fear were being done to [Yeza]. A lot a big plans for me that didn’t plan out- I went a little crazy and ran away, ran away. I have been on the run for long time. I was tired of starving. And I met you. I was a little less hungry for a while. I have been afraid for a long time, two of the people in that town are from the cerberus assembly. I don't think [the assembly members would recognise him] I walked passed that portrait many times. One of them is the head of the cerberus assembly. There's good teachers, it's everything they describe it to be. After going there for several months, one of the assembly  who also would teach on occasion, started interviewing me. Calling me in and asking me questions. He sorta put me in an advanced class, me and a few others. I don't want you all to be seen with me by one of them, they will use you to get to me. You met the man who trained me. His name is Trent Ikathon.

Jester: thats why you make that face all the time

Caleb: I’m not a very good person.

Jester: “I dont think out actions don’t define us all them time. Good people do bad things sometimes bad people do good things. I think you’re a good person”

Beau: “do you care about us? You’ve told us several times you’re not a very good person.”

Caleb: im worried about your husband.  I know the things that man can do.[unravels arm wrappings to show a series of small cuts going up the entirety of the right arm] He used to put crystals in… he he experimented on the three of us.

NottL what would they do? The crystals

He uhh was trying to strength us. The first time i ever saw that word was in your libraries, no explanation.

Beau: The dunamous?

Caleb: No, the first time i’ve ever seen that word was in your libraries. Haphazardly scrolled into that word. No, no everything was for the empire. We were being trained to serve the empire above all. He was mad himself, he was mad. He believed that the unwashed masses relied on their base instinct and the highest calling was to rise above the muck and control the cattlel. We were, are at war. Many of us, felt that way, feel that way.

Nott: Do you still that way?

Caleb: I don’t believe in anything, now.

Fjord: This Trent, does he know these two we saw?

Caleb: Oh yes, yes, yes. And I don’t want one more thing on my head to have you guys. Probably too late anyways.

Fjord: How powerful are these two anyways? Our normal tricks, would they fall short?

The Cerberus assembly are the most powerful mages in the empire…over 200 yrs ago a # of mages went to war in the streets of Restrum and um, it was bloody and awful and eventually came to a truce … proposed to the king at the time that they serve as an advising body to the throne.

Jester: Would they see if we were disguised? Or would they have to look for us.

Caleb: I don’t know for sure but there is a reason i didn't use something like that back there.

Fjord: So, we need to give the a very wide birth.

Nott: [why would they take yeza]

Caleb: I don’t know. It is something to do with the thing. But i don’t know why him.

[Jester reading the burned notes and meaningless stuff mostly they won’t kill Yeza]

Caleb: Was he gifted in his work? What is written about here but it does not seem like anything i ever learned about that.

[?]: It says there that they are looking for a way to achieve their ends w/o the object.  I don’t know what they need.

Beau: trent ikathon was looking at yasha....

Calev: I hope he is alive i really do but they will make his life a living hell. And the empire. They are as close to as powerful if not as powerful as the king. I used a lot of names. Caleb is just what i told you. I don’t know. Caleb, let's stick with caleb for now. Um i honestly don’t know if we can, if we are up to this. Unless they are on land, this is the might of the empire. Vestduragna is the arch mage of antiquities.. She's a historian, she has uncovered mysteries of the past. She's a history buff, she's awful probably. He is the head of the military, so if they are both here i would say he is here over seeing the military and she is overseeing what is in that bag.

Fjord makes a valid point about this might not being the only one. [dodecha]

Beacons is plural

Fjord is being cautious for once

[Caleb looks like he wants to cry about the ‘liking us’ comment]

Caleb: I uhh, ohhh jester, i'm glad you see good in me.

Beau: “Its too late now b/c we like you and are invested in your happiness and [stuff]”

Caleb: ok

Beau: dont run. You can say you don't believe in us, that's fine. Believe in us just a little bit, ok?

Caleb: I will consider it heavily.

Beau: I’m sorry for not hearing you yesterday… i heard that you were doubting me and us and our friendship

Caleb:‘i dont doubt any of you

Fjord ‘I swallow shit and make it appear in my weapons i'm down to throw down. You don't have to minimize my stuff’

Those elves two were founders of the Cerberus Assembly

Stabby stab

Fjord: You seduce one i'll seduce the other. I have a way with elves [nervous/embarassed laughter]

Its like you two have been reading tumblr - tal

Caduceus is a wild mom?- confused Beau

Shit shit shit that stuff was out of the bag and scry-able for so long

Samone is the innkeeper

‘Ruckus is a word’

War with the dominion ???

Travis being charismatic and info snatchy is such a difference from grog

‘Felderwind is not known for its excitement’ with jazz hands from matt

“I need something complicated to focus myself… preferably some sort of flower or living plant. The notion is that i'm looking for something that is a testament to the wildmother.”

Jester: “Honey!”

Cad: I’m not entirely sure what honey is made of

Beau: essence of flower and bee puke

Demi leric (female human) does not charge but accepts donation, general physician

Cricks left w/in an hour “a swift nightmare”. “Dark elf folk” “second one on the left that's burned down”

Demi leric’s house is across the street from a burned building, door partially open. Simple establishment, herb smells, chemical smells, ⅘ cots with 2 recovering crownsguard chillin. Human woman, late 20s/ early 30s, bright smile & eyes, business in the eyes,

Beau used real name    

“Taking statements”

A few strange complaints about 1/ 2 months back. Wave of nausea. All lived in a cluster, near the doctor’s office near a burned building

Attack around midnight

Detective beau?

Semi conscious guard, has burns, beau slaps a wound, ‘sup, names beau with the cobalt soul, what's your name?’ “Jeff” “good to meet you Jeff” jeff got Luke out of the flames “cricks got him and ran… life four of them.. I saw the fire they pushed me into when i tried to stop them… it was crazy, they came in quick.. I guess [they were targeting places].. Last place they lit was the apothecary…

TAL WANTS TO FIND THE CHAIR MAKER

Jester: What is the possibility that your mean people can change memories?

Caleb: Pretty good…

Tunnels--> North East side where the fields begin. Crownsguard near three sinkhole like entrances.

They didn’t dig them, something dug it for them. Something with big teeth dug it for them and they came out. This creature was 10 feet wide mouth. They collapse the tunnels when they left. They dug in the third one tunnel a bit. Each tunnel is 200-300 feet apart. The tunnel that was dug out was in the middle. Tunnel at a steep angle w/ rope hanging down. This tunnel kept gong 50ft before evening out at a steady downward incline. Looks organically carved tunnel rather than arcane. Definitely burrowed. Nothing on detect magic or undead.

‘Anything is possible in this world of magic and mystery’

Cad base chant to see if he can get vibration via thaumaturgy. Can very vaguely hear a gap at some point w/ very little detail.

Break

Gank

Rexintrum is the largest city in the empire

Worms

Fjord makes a valid point about the slowy thing being a great battle tactic

Fjord has limits on what he will poke/big red button comment

“The dragon poke sucked”

“Im here b/c i was out of options and i went looking for them.” - Cad

my detail oriented self is loving getting actual info from Cad

The magic that held the forest in place is fading away. Not the only site like cads but there hasn’t been communication

Cad family, bigggggggg, built the temple, they all left to look for answers, none came back, doesn’t know what direction they went in, didn’t ask wildmother about them and doesn’t really wanna know “have faith and not second guess”, Corin talked about trying to find some of the other temples. CORIN? ---> sister?

Jester “this is some serious shit… the empire is really fucked up. And everyone went through some horrible stuff

Nott: i promise if you stay with us you’ll also go through some horrible stuff

Jester:[too late already have].. I want nice again one day

Cad: I just want home back, I wanna know that its safe again

Nott: I want to be me again yes. Yes and i hope someday it can happen.

{what does Nott want to be called?}

“Or Vott”-Jester in response to Fjord prompting Nott v. Veth

Beau: Nott and Caleb it is. The mighty nein made of seven people. Works great.

Caleb “not the name not the group. I’m not it” {Not sure if i got the last part spot on the stream cut out before I rewatched/checked this}

“Their names are Chair, together they are chair.”

“I’m here to bring the awkward”- Tal

“What it Yeza’s destination pushing a few days forward?”- Cad w/ Divination to the Wildmother “Gordranas” via wind whispers

Yasha has heard the name, its far further north and the tribe avoided it b/c a lot of the beast folk lived that way ie others who wandered the wastes ‘men who are like bull warrior/bugbears/ other goblinoids’ some work with the crin.

The Luxum- something Caleb read about it having a negative effect on Gordraonas

Gordronas is important to the history of age of arcanum. When the gods walked the earth, both the prime deities and the betrayer gods there were areas of influence considered theirs. A # of those areas belonging to the betrayer gods happened to be in wildmount and Gordranas was the name of the center of their ‘tenuous union’ [betrayer gods] in the final years of the Clamity the b. Gods would go there to plot evil shit.

 What remains of gordonas is where the crin has established their dynasty. People in Yasha’s tribe said it was perpetual night.

Cad on how to travel 1000 miles through a war zone“We’ve got a cart, I’m completely serious.”

One of the garrisons has been lost to the Cryn. {Ash something or rather?}

Yeza- short, even for a halfling, bushy brown hair, long sideburns, big nose, not a great chin, narrow shoulders, not a looker,

IS (not referring to Yeza in the past tense ie Nott being corrected by Jester/Fjord?Beau)

They were married five years

THEY SHOULD KNOW VETH’S ACTUAL BIRTHDAY

To Jester’s message to Yeza: No response then a very faint “Hello?  I don’t know, its very dark, I have to be quiet. Thank you”

Nott being wingwoman Jester and Fjord

Jester is the best customer service person ever

Jordan and Jamenson are escorting Luke and Edith, Jeff almost kept Beau’s staff

Beau’s bo still has a bow

“I’m here to buy some pockets” “Money belts!” and the tourist necklace thingies

Secret tunnels

Fjord and Beau tag teaming it and fucking with that one guy’s pride with a few good checks

Caleb paying for a group expense

Polymorph into a honey badger (who doesn’t care)

LEVEL EIGHT

‘This won’t be a problem when I’m a president’- Sam

“Be an elk and kill all these fucking soldiers” -Travis or Fjord?

Dire honey badger? Yessssssss. Bony 6 foot honey badger, 5-6 inch claws

‘I’m gonna bless the honey badger’- Cad <3

Travis gonna kill Gil

The other side of the collapse was like 150 feet down further from where the empire stopped digging

Tunnel wides, drops off like a cliff 30-40 foot til another drop off 10ish feet later and a river that is cutting it’s way through. Crystle (quartz) stalactites from a 15’ tall ceiling

Same system as Zadash? Connecting aquifers?

“Do not send the cleric into the pit of unknown.”- Tal

Yeza and Veth never got a honeymoon and they wanted to go to Taledorie [Whitestone is great in the spring].

666

They’re going caving I guess

If Beau changes(ed) her name them all the Empire based people would have lots of names. (Bren-> Caleb ; Veth-> Nott ; Lucian-> Molly)

Also Beau and Bren are the names parents would name their kids if they wanted to have a matching letter for all their kids but the kids hate being a matched set.

Jester having the crisis of ‘I was lonely but y’all had some shit’ was really heartbreaking to watch. I hope she doesn’t stop that progression of showing more and more genuine emotion both positively and negatively.

[snellyboi]

Pictures of the Past

I mentioned I’d be making a Hilda one shot, and this is what came out. I figure I ought to start writing for more shows and such so I don’t get totally burnt!

words:1865 Summary: Hilda meets an old friend of her mother, Rolf Sigmundson, who holds some strange revelations about her past... warnings: Sort of a cliff hanger to a one shot I might get around to writing? Also involves an OC, and a bit of headcanon on my end (of course!)

By all accounts, Rolf Sigmundson was a good man. He mostly made a living for himself making nature shows, and indeed, few people were as qualified as he was to do this sort of thing. He spent time with Woffs in his university days, and also spent plenty of time studying trolls, giant birds, and all sorts of flora and fauna. He was mostly known for his show ‘Troll Hunter’, sort of a spiritual successor to Steve Irwin’s Crocodile Hunter.

He was a tall man, with a large, dark beard and short brown hair, with big brown eyes framed by large round glasses. He was popular, that’s for sure...and he was making an appearance for the sparrow scouts in Trolberg today.

“He’s such a sweet man, you’ll like him.�� Johanna smiled as she spoke to Hilda, giving her some sandwiches to take to the meeting, as she knew it’d run until at least noon. “If you get the chance, tell him I said hello!”

Hilda took the sandwiches and hopped out the door, Alfur in tow. “I’ll see you mum, thanks for the food!” She was really excited to meet this guy! Not only was he kind of a big deal, but her mother knew him! And not a simple ‘saw him once at a zoo’ sort of thing, either, those two, according to Johanna at least, were really good friends in their youth. Not that Hilda would brag about such a thing...but it was a nice feeling.

“Hello, sparrow scouts!” Raven Leader spoke loudly from the front gate to the Huldrawood. “I’m excited you’re all here, and I’m sure you’re all incredibly glad to welcome today’s guest!” It was a simple idea, drummed up by Rolf himself. What better place to talk about nature than...well, nature? Sure, Huldrawood wasn’t the unforgiving, harsh wilderness, but it was still pretty natural, and had plenty to offer. “Our guest doesn’t really need an introduction, but he’s not here to hunt trolls or teach us how to do it. He’s here to talk about one of the most important parts of our lives...the great outdoors.” It had clearly been prepared, but would you wanna introduce someone without preparing yourself first?

“Let’s all give a warm, Sparrow scout welcome to Rolf Sigmundson!” The kids hooted and hollered, and Rolf stepped out, wearing a black ball cap, vest, beige button up shirt, and khakis, with heavy looking hiking boots.

“Hey, kids!” He smiled brightly and opened the gates, walking in. “We’re gonna hang by the front for a minute, just stick around there and pick a place to sit down.” Lucky them, it had been clear all week...the ground wasn’t too muddy. Hilda, David, and Frida all found each other and sat together.

“Are you excited?” Frida asked. Hilda nodded. “My mum loves his show...I watch it when it’s on.” She shrugged. “He does sound really interesting, though, the way my mum tells it.” Frida looked over at David. “Maybe he can find out why you’re teeming with bugs, eh?” David, at the moment, had a beetle crawling around on him. He looked spaced out.

“...sorry, could you say that again?”

Rolf rubbed his hands together and sat on the ground with them. “Yikes...kids, don’t get old, your knees start to ache and it hurts to sit down.” Some of the children laughed. “So! The woods...we sort of take it for granted, don’t we?” He looked around. “We play in them, camp in them, go on walks in them...without even thinking about what’s here. What sort of things live underground? What worlds go left unseen by most humans?” He looked over at Hilda, Frida, and David. “What if I told you that it’s not just giant things, but little ones as well? Like that...bug...on your shirt...do...do you know that’s there?”

David didn’t really say anything in response, he just sorta...pointed at it. Frida looked over. “He’s always got a bug on him.”

“Bugs tend to pick favorites, I find.” He giggled a little to himself. “Of course, the small world isn’t just made up of bugs. There’s even elves!” Some kids furrowed their brows. “Yep. Seen ‘em. I had to sign paperwork, though, these elves are obsessed with documentation, let me tell you.” He stood. “Of course, we won’t be seeing those today, you have to have permission from the elves themselves, and it’s a lot of papers to sign…”

“It isn’t THAT much paperwork!” Alfur whispered. Hilda whispered right back. “It is for this many kids!”

“Kids love paperwork!”

“Not the human ones.” Hilda whispered back. The group started to move through the woods, as he pointed out birds nests, ant hills, rabbit holes, and even a hole for a good sized bug, which he stopped around. “Phew...now, kids, most of these small guys are actually pretty safe, but this one’s not quite healthy to hang around too long.” he tapped the ground around the hole for a moment. “Hmm...must be empty. Can anyone guess what I’m looking for?”

“A snake?” One child asked.

“No, not quite...I wouldn’t be so close to it if it were a snake hole, those have a bit more...length than what should be in here.” He said. “Although, I have been bitten by my fair share of snakes. Most of the ones around here are pretty harmless.” He knelt down and tapped again. “Anyone?”

Frida jumped at the chance. “A spider? I read that some make trap doors, and sneak out to catch their prey.” Rolf smiled. “That’s an awful lot closer, it’s a sort of spider! Those spiders tend to be in other, warmer places...this is a sort of wolf spider dwelling.” He said. “They aren’t deadly, but I’ve managed to get a bite from one, and it’s bad. Opens up a sore about this big on the bite, and...it’s messy.” He said. The group kept going.

“Here’s another, much larger hole, it looks like it was dug by a-”

“Vittra!” Hilda pointed. “I’ve been in those tunnels...well, not...not those ones.” Rolf and the others looked over, and Rolf crossed his arms. “You’ve been IN a…” He looked at her for a moment. She looked...familiar.

“...how’d you get in? Why’d you go in?”

“We had to rescue some from becoming mulch, but we sort of got them angry.”  Rolf nodded. “Huh...they do like their privacy. Kids, these holes can be real deep, and falling into them can lead to some embarrassing injuries. It’s good to look at the forest floor while you walk around.” The group kept going, stopping for lunch, learning how to spot different types of bee hives and wasps nests, avoiding snakes, and even learning a bit about fishing...though, that was anecdotal, and mostly about Rolf’s bad run in with a rather large catfish in the states. They were back at the front gate. “So, scouts, it’s important to remember that the world isn’t just what’s easy to see...there’s little cities, families, and houses all around us! We just have to look.” The scouts all got pictures, some got stuff signed, and they were on their way out. Hilda couldn’t wait to tell her mother abou-

“Hilda!” Raven Leader went over to her. “It appears Rolf would like a word with you.” Hilda furrowed a brow. “Me?”

“He wants to know more about that vittra hole I think.” Hilda walked over to him. He was sitting near his car, an old beat up jeep he’d driven to the front gate. “Hilda! Hey! She wouldn’t believe that I knew your mother so I had to give her the Vittra hole line...I knew you looked familiar!” Hilda looked up at him. “You knew me?”

“Oh, you were tiny tiny before I got the show and got too busy…” He knelt down. “Agh...gotta get that knee checked on. Hey, listen, I don’t wanna hold the van up, but…” He went into his car and got a box of polaroids. “I was real good friends with your mother, and I liked to take pictures of stuff. I took a lot of pictures of her, she didn’t really own a camera until after I left that neck of the woods. Years ago she got rid of these...I won’t say why.” It was photos of her mother doing...not ‘Johanna-ish’ things; rock climbing, swimming in the middle of a lake, waving from the top of a tree.

“I think it’s time she gets these back.” Hilda nodded. “She was quite the adventurer, huh?”

“Oh, are you kidding me? She was shredded! I bet she could have benched ME back then.” He patted Hilda’s shoulder. “Tell her I said hello, yeah?”

“Of course.” She nodded with determination.

“Thanks so much, I’d stop by but I gotta split...also, Mr. Elf,” he pointed to her ear, and Alfur popped up from behind it, “You look good in red.”

Alfur blushed. “Oh, stop, you’re flattering me…”

“Heh, alright...you run along now, enjoy yourself!”

“Likewise!” Hilda got back into the van they’d used to get there, and got home, just before dark. Dinner was almost ready, and Johanna sighed with relief when she heard the front door open. “Hilda, you’re back...how was it? How do you like Rolf?”

“He’s nice...he gave me these.” She put the photos on the table. Johanna looked flustered. “...I’d been looking for those.” She went through a few of them, sitting on the couch. “That’s...well, I was quite the adventurous type.”

“Got it form somewhere, right?” Hilda winked. Johanna...sighed, and lowered her shoulders. “Well...had to come from somewhere.” They came across one of a tiny, baby Hilda, with a woman with purple hair playing with her. “Oh, look at you! So cute back then!” Hilda thought nothing of who that woman was, probably just some aunt she’d never met...but then she popped up in another photo of them at a campfire. And another of them holding hands. And another of them in flower crowns and soft looking white dresses, kissing under a flower archway somewhere in the woods. “Mum...who’s that woman? The one with the long purple hair?”

Johanna tensed up a bit. She sighed. “...well, she and I were lovers...that was our wedding. Well, it was just a ceremony, it wasn’t legal at the time…” She sighed. Hilda looked up.

“What happened to her?”

“She...went missing.” She said. “After a troll attack. I never saw her again after that.” She rubbed her eyes. “I’m...I got rid of these to cope with the loss, I suppose.” Hilda hugged her tightly. “Sorry I brought it up, mum, I-”

“No, Hilda, it’s alright.” Johanna kissed Hilda’s forehead. “I...needed to see them again. It’s just a bit of closure.” She took the one of the wedding ceremony and placed it on her desk. She went to the kitchen. “...looks like dinner’s ready. Go wash up and get ready to eat, alright?”

“Okay, mum!” Hilda went to look at the woman in the photo again.

She looked familiar.

[homosociallyyours]

getting to know me

I was tagged by @sukiandmuzzy, @always-aqua, and @jlf23tumble in this 21 question cavalcade--thank y’all so much!! These dumb things are my fave bc I’m basic af. So. here we go. the rules are...answer the questions. that’s all. i’ll tag people too, but not a set number, so if you love these things and wanna do this one, DO IT!!!

Nickname: Meggles, Beene, Beenie, Beener, Dottie, Milton. All but the last are variations of my name (middle, last, first, in that order). The last one came from my ex, who actually got it from Winter’s Bone, because it was the book he was reading when we got together. There’s a scene where the main character is naming all the Miltons in her family. Somehow it got into his head, and then it just stuck. I left it in Austin, but I still have a fondness for it.  

Zodiac: Taurus sun/moon/mercury, Gemini rising, Venus in Cancer, Mars in Virgo. into it, obviously. I’m totally that guy who has gotten everyone in the office to do their natal chart and who follows 807 astrology meme accounts. 

Height: 5′5″

Last movie I saw: I haven’t seen a movie in a theater for a hot second. That was the new Fantastic Beasts. At home, I rewatched Elf on Christmas Eve. 

Last thing I googled: “williams console heater” -- we’re getting a new heater this week, and that’s the brand/model. I was showing my housemate. 

Favorite musicians: The Indigo Girls, One Direction, Dolly Parton, Gretchen Phillips.  

Song stuck in my head: She’s a Rainbow

Other blogs: @ohharrymylove is where I put 1d masterposts and history things as well as stunty stuff i don’t want on my main, @darlingdomesticbatch is the now defunct cumberbatch hey girl meme account i used to co-run with a friend, @heycheeselady is my oft-neglected cheese blog, and then there are 2 more blogs that are pretty empty but that i am kinda saving for a rainy day-- dirtbagharrie and sassymartinfreeman. i am also co-mod on a hypnokink blog with a pal but i never do anything with it, i’m sorry chu <3

Do I get asks: sometimes. I usually get a couple with ask games, and then every few weeks a random anon saying/asking something. it’s rare for me to get hate, though you wouldn’t know anyway bc i just delete it :) 

Following: 1024...oops. i got it down a while ago, but tbh i enjoy following lots of people and am very gregarious. if you wanna be mutuals with me just send me a couple of asks or messages and i’ll probably add you back unless you reaaaally don’t tag and you post stuff i would normally blacklist (reylo or zombies)

Amount of sleep: 6-12. rebel rebel. 

Lucky number: 5

What I’m wearing: lularoe leggings (listen they’re soft i can’t help it) and an old hoodie that i had kinda forgotten about but that i’m pleased to rediscover

Dream job: rn it’s being paid to exist. if i could make enough money to live just by being alive, it would take away a huge strain from my life. In general, though, my dream job is to be part of a team that goes into homes and schools and teaches cheese classes: developing palates and vocabularies, showing people how to care for cheese, providing knowledge and cool facts about cheesestuffs. I also kinda want this as a youtube channel. i do sorta have the goal to do that this year if i’m able. 

Dream trip: I usually say France and other parts of Europe for a very specific cheese trip, but right now it’s one of these 2 places--either Hawaii with @statementlou for 2 weeks of being relaxed cryptid gal pals or 2 weeks in Tacoma with @pompomoffinland and his spouse and their kiddo for some superb cuddles and flaming rainbows. 

Favorite food: I am contractually obligated to say cheese. It’s definitely the food I’m most passionate about, and I cannot think of my life without it in some form. 

Play any instruments: I know how to strum a ukulele. I’m not great, but I am passable if nobody else knows how to play. I can also play the spoons decently and am a singer. 

Languages: English, Spanish (un poco), the asl alphabet and some random words (coffee! tree! dance! I got a book from the library when I was 11 and have good retention). I also know the greek alphabet, so I can struggle through saying something that’s written in greek, but then have...no idea what it means. unless it’s obvious. Oh also I speak cheese (obviously), which means I can pronounce French town names sometimes and not sound like the uncultured American I truly am. 

Favorite songs: “Three County Highway” (Indigo Girls); “Fireproof” (1D); “Ain’t Life a Brook” (Ferron); “The Weakness in Me” (Joan Armatrading); “The Luckiest” (Ben Folds); “I Spent My Last $10 on Birth Control and Beer” (Two Nice Girls); “She’s Amazing” (Team Dresch); “1950″ (King Princess) to name a few. 

Random fact: “grassfed” is an empty term that can mean anything from cows grazing on fresh pasture year round to cows being kept in pens and fed a fermented grass product called silage that’s actually not much better for their stomachs than grain. so if you care about animals being pastured, know where your cheese is coming from and be prepared to pay a premium--grazing cattle is not cheap for a lot of reasons

Random fact about me? I didn’t date AT ALL in high school, partly because no boy ever expressed even the faintest interest and partly because I also wasn’t interested and honestly partly because I was actually queer and just didn’t have words for it. No regrets, tho, dang. I kinda think nobody should date in high school. UNPOPULAR OPINION, i know. 

Describe yourself as aesthetic things: pale skin spilling out from the top of a cotton dress; firm jersey milk cheese wrapped in rustic brown cheese paper; a bouquet of ranunculus; milky tea in a sturdy ceramic mug; brown sugar cubes; tangled seaweeds and algaes drying on the beach; a stack of fat quarters in various solid and patterned pinks; a photograph of a single white cloud against a bright blue sky with just the edge of tree in frame; hugging a tree

hmmmm I’ll tag... @captiveharts @deaflock @livingrepetition @billiethepoet @thearrowsheart @harryincamp @harryisapackersfan @pennywhistle @la-paritalienne and @goldbootsandvans

no pressure, pals! 

[skamfairy]

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows - thoughts after reading it for the first time

oh my god it’s come to this. we made it. WE ARE HERE. at the end. im emotional. shsajhahjs THATS AN UNDERSTATEMENT. This whole book has left me so emotionally drained but not in a bad way. it made me feel so so so much and change everything and i’m just shjjhsahjas I GOT A LOT OF THOUGHTS but i’m also worried i’ll forget things cos i took a long time to read this and a lot happened so ashjashjas let’s see how i go (i really should have kept notes as i read but i’m chaotic and it’s too late sajsahj i’ll do that if i ever review a book on here again) 

THIS IS SO LONG so if you read all of this then sajhsajha wow you must really love me or harry, or both sdhjasjhahjssajh 💖

ALRIGHT lets start with dudley!! it feels like years ago now but when he actually showed feelings towards harry it was soooo good and unexpected and i really really loved that choice. like showing that he’s not a villain or anything and that he does actually care for harry despite being such a brat his whole life sahjsahj idk it made me remember that he’s just a kid too who was also raised by the dursley’s you know? anyway i loved it and i’m hoping harry and him do sorta keep in touch. 

this also feels like a big part of the theme in this series i want to touch on. I feel like instead of villainising characters straight up, we sorta get to see that when you are shown nothing but cruelty and disrespect then they are the traits you will only know as you grow and it’s really sad but also creates incredible empathy and understanding in the reader when you see characters like draco and dudley kinda follow what their parents teach them. and then when you get that reminder with both characters that that’s not really them and once they begin to think for themselves or get shown something else they can finally branch away from that and be who they really are. That’s what i love so much in this series! being able to see that they aren’t evil or bad they’ve just been taught shitty behaviour and they can change once they follow their own beliefs and not those of their parents.

i also had a slight critique about slytherin’s potrayal here shjashj but i deleted it cos i felt like i ranted more than i should ashjashj but basically i just felt like there was sooooo much anti-slytherin content in the series but i got it cos i figured it was all building up to a big SLYTHERINS ARE GOOD TOO LETS BE FRIENDS moment and i mean i wasn’t wrong? we got that sorta, in the end when harry talked to his son and told him that slytherins are cool too, although the example was snape jhsjhsa. but yeah i think after all that i was expecting something more idk. especially cos i found it weird that not a single slytherin was in dumbledores army or fought on the order of phoenix side in the battle. like they all just left! but idk maybe i’m too new to hp to understand sahjsahj i just thought at least a couple slytherins would fight just to show that not all of them are bad but maybe they were scared cos of voldemort’s ties to the house shjashj sorry this still turned into a bit of a rant but i’m not like annoyed just surprised. imagine a character who was in the squad but they were slytherin sjhasjh

ANYWAY back on track shjasjhas 

hedwig dying broke my god damn heart 

IM CRYING remember when fred and george got turned into harry’s and they turned to each other and said in sync “WOW WE’RE IDENTICAL!” im sorry i just flicked to that page by accident to remember what to discuss next and that just made me laugh again im sahjahjhjsa

SO I GUESS THAT MEANS IT’S TIME TO TALK ABOUT FRED AND GEORGE. okay yes so they are two of my fave characters EVER not just in hp but in anything i’ve ever read or watched. they bring me so much laughter and happiness and while reading this series, when i was feeling down and i needed something to get my mind of things, i would read hp. but every single time a line from fred or george came up, it would make me feel SO much joy and i can’t express how much they both helped me and brought light into my life while reading this series. and they’ll always hold a special place in my heart. i’m so thankful for this series because it introduced me to some of the most beautiful characters i’ve ever met. and fred and george are two of them. They showed how much you can give and help in such a horrible situation, just by giving people something to laugh about and that was so so so incredible to read. to see that you don’t have to be super brainy like hermione or strong or brave like ron and harry to be important and a hero. bringing light and laughter in people’s lives during a dark time is just as heroic and meaningful as anything else and i love that fred and george represented that power. (but also they had everything else too sajashjhjas) anyway i really love them. and i remember while reading this book, fred pulled the same joke he did when we first saw him in book one and it made me emotional because we have come so far and he’s still just as warm and joyful as he was 7 years ago. losing him was the worst thing in the whole series, not worst in the sense that it didn’t make sense or anything because it did and i’m glad i could feel soooo much but it was the worst thing by it hurting the worst for me personally and ishjajhashjsa im never gonna get over it. everytime i think about it i cry like i am now dammit sdhjsahjajh SO LETS CHANGE THE SUBJECT 

oh my god one of the things that broke my heart early on wasn’t even a death but hermione erasing herself from her parents minds to protect them???? That’s absolutely heartbreaking and sad and i love her so much. she is so clever but also so caring and brilliant and she does whatever she needs to and it’s just fucking hell it was so sad and i just hope it all worked out and she was able to undo it cos i’m really stressing about it i don’t want her to lose her parents :(( and they love her so much like we never got to see them much but i remember in the second book how supportive they were even tho it was so out of their element and scary they were just happy for their daughter and GAH I’M EMOTIONAL anyway i love hermione so much, moving on.

Ron and harry fighting??? MADE ME AGE A THOUSAND YEARS OUT OF STRESS AND PAIN that’s the worst, i hate it. i hate it when they fight. it breaks my heart because you know how much ron means to harry. he’s his number one, he’s his family, his best friend, the first person to ever love him and show him loyalty and love and what it’s like to have a brother who loves you like sahajshhjas IM SORRY ONE OF MY FAVE THINGS IN THIS WHOLE SERIES IS THEIR RELATIONSHIP 100% they mean everything to me. Ron is so insecure because he constantly feels like he’s in harry’s shadow but what he doesn’t realise is that when it comes to harry, everyone else is in his shadow because ron is the most important person to him. i mean don’t get me wrong they love hermione too ashjsahjahj but like ron and harry <3 it’s special they need each other im super asjhhajs im sorry im so passionate about their friendship and chosen family it means so much to me. like i hated it when they fought in goblet of fire and THEN I HAD TO GO THROUGH IT AGAIN??? but the scene where they made up literally made me cry and scream in happiness i love them so much i don’t want them to ever not be in each others lives. 

honestly i like ron and hermione! idk if that’s unpopular or what but i feel like they do make sense and their relationship was actually built up based on actual connection and years of developing.....unlike some people who never even talked and then woke up and suddenly were in love for no reason *cough*

TIME TO TALK ABOUT SAD THINGS AGAIN! dobby dying was absolutely horrible that whole chapter was SO DARK and scary and i was actually genuinely frightened for the first time in the series i was so so so scared it was horrible and then dobby came like an angel and saved the day and then he was just....gone??? it was so unfair and so sad and just i hate it so much i can’t comprehend it. he was a free elf! he didn’t deserve this. no one deserved this. that’s what was so tragic about the deaths in this series and it’s what makes everything so real. im so sad god dammit let me find something less sad to talk about again. 

HARRY IS THE DESCENDANT OF THE BROTHER WHO CHOSE THE INVISIBILITY CLOAK FROM THE DEATHLY HALLOW STORY!!!! ahhhhh im so happy i love that harry is related to something so cool and ahhhhhhhh it’s honestly so good and exciting how everything came together naturally like that. and CAN WE TALK ABOUT HIS CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT?? like how he literally went from saying he would choose the ressurrection stone, to in the end, just leaving it in the middle of the forest? im so proud of him he breaks my heart and i just wanna protect him forever i’ve never loved someone so much like ashjsajhsa i need to stop but seriously, harry is my absolute everything i love this god damn kid help. 

speaking of people who love harry.... jhsjhassjjas i really really love draco. like i feel so protective of this kid? i want to know more more more about him and i want to help him and go back in time and keep him away from all that bullshit dark stuff i can’t wait to read all the fics that analyse him because i know he’s actually a genuine good? i feel like he is. his parents let him down and he didn’t have any healthy relationships in his life to help him see another side of things even tho i know and really feel like if he did, things would have been different. he was just a kid and you could see he didn’t want this he hated it, he was so scared and alone and sahjsahjhjsa IM SORRY I LOVE HIM 

OKay can i just roast voldemort for a sec by saying, he is TERRIBLE at researching plans before execution and thinking through things like he acted like a silly egotistic child im so. how did the death eaters take him seriously? i don’t understand OKAY YES I KNOW HE HAS SO MUCH POWER but pfft he kept taking snapes credit for killing dumbles. but then it turned out dumbles asked snape to anyway so like sjshjjhsa and harry roasted him with that himself. i love that kid. anyway yeah i can’t wait to make voldemort memes forever this dude is so sjsajasjkajsk i hate him but also enjoy hating him. 

Remus and tonks :((( im so sad i love lupin so much it’s not fair but also now teddy is an orphan after a war just like harry and now harry is the godfather to teddy just like sirius was to him :(( im emotional. 

MOLLY SLAYED BELLATRIX I LOVE HER “NOT MY DAUGHTER YOU BITCH!” jhsdjhsjhsdj queen

okay okay okay finally i’ll address the thing that MESSED ME UP oh my god sajhhjashjsa so i have been complaining for ageeeees that i want LILY! BACKSTORY! and when i didn’t get it in half blood prince i was devastated sahjsahjjhsa and i figured it was never going to happen and then when i least expected it I GET ACTUAL LILY BACKSTORY CONTENT from the man i have been roasting and hating since book one im sahjshajhjas the irony kills me. anyway lily was just as amazing as i thought she was. i love her so much she’s so beautiful and kind and loyal and compassionate. she’s everything <3 and honestly i was actually able to empathise with snape? their friendship was so pure and sweet and i can’t believe he was her best friend in hogwarts this whole time. it’s really sad how he let himself be drawn to dark magic because she was never going to give up on him. him being drawn to that magic, and calling her a slur was what pushed her away and also brought her closer to james so, thanks for helping harry be born mate ashjjhas idk it’s sad and i empathise with snape now and now i can understand things i couldn’t before. LIKE EVERYTHING MAKES SENSE NOW. it’s like the missing piece has been found and i can see everything with new eyes it’s insane. and i remember seeing something about obsessive love in half blood prince and guessing that it was foreshadowing something and i think this is it. it’s just sad :(( and he actually was on dumbledores side im so sahjsahjhjas this whole thing was such a mindfuck idk what to think. but yeah i do emphasise with snape. do i like him now? no 🙈 sorry BUT i can understand him better and his character intrigues me it’s just really sad but he’s still an adult who bullies children. and daaaamn he hated harry, lucky for us he loved lily more than voldemort tho whoop i’m pretty sure my older sister loves snape tho so maybe i’m being too harsh idk 

HARRY WAS A HORCRUX??? i can’t that was epic and such a shock what in the world. i’m so happy how things turned out but holy shit that was insane. yet it made so much sense im so sjjshahjas

oh i love luna ashjahjshjas just gotta say that she’s my everything <3 

NEVILLE I LOVE NEVILLE HIM KILLING THE SNAKE WAS ICONIC !!!!! im so so so happy it was him. i love him so much he really showed how much bravery and potential he has i love this kid. 

okay so hands down the Kings Cross chapter was one of the best chapters in this whole series. seeing dumbledore finally tell us everything and getting to hear and see his mistakes and flaws and his truth was so so so emotional for me and it felt like final closure. im so dhjahjhja the way it was written!!! just all of it every single bit of it made me feel something and OPEN AT THE CLOSE im asjhhjsahjas ofc im just god the whole thing was sooooo jhsjhasjhas THE FEELINGS im sorry im not at all articulate when it comes to this im just the whole thing played in my head so well and i still have chills just from thinking about it i really don’t want this to end :(( 

finally the ending, im surprised that harry married ginny (i mean i guess not surprised cos he’s her love interest, maybe just jahsjhsasahj indifferent?) but im happy that we got to see him happy and again i love that he told albus it didn’t matter if he was in slytherin cos slytherins are cool too jsshjahjsa that was so important. ALSO draco!!! they nodded 👀 also shjsahja luna and george weren’t mentione :(( 

OH MY GOD I ALMOST FORGOT ABOUT HOW MUCH NOSTALGIA I GOT IN SNAPES MEMORY WHEN WE SAW JAMES AND SIRIUS FIRST BECOME FRIENDS ON THE TRAIN IT MADE ME THINK OF THE FIRST BOOK IM EMOTIONAL

Now i just want to say i genuinely love harry so so so much. he’s sassy and brave and selfless and caring and he has so much anger and frustration but that never stops him from doing what he can to help people and it just :(( he deserved a happy, free and loving childhood. i love this boy with all my heart and i always will im so thankful i finally let myself actually read his story. 

This series brought me so much laughter, wonder, tears, pain and magic. i’m so so so happy i finally read it sahjsajh despite avoiding and judging it my whole life lmao i was so wrong about it and this series has made me fall deeply in love with every single character and now im obsessed shjashjhjas LIKE I LITERALLY CAN’T STOP THINKING ABOUT IT i can’t im so asjhashj

im actually obsessed with harry potter i didn’t think this would ever happen to me. thank you for taking this journey with me angels 💖

anyway now i got 8(?) movies to watch for the first time sahjashashj stay tuned 💖 

[dareactions]

Companions and advisory team reaction to a dalish inquisitor who acts extremely "dalishy" at sky hold but put them at a ball and they seem like they lived in a castle their whole life

All I imagine is that quote Moriarty makes in Sherlock .

Cassandra: Consider her impressed, the seeker knows the Inquisitor is a rather traditional dalish elf; but that they could so easily adapt was something she was unaware and uninformed about. It makes her relax a lot and she enjoys watching the Inquisitor leave nobility floored in surprise; that’s her favorite passtime eventually.

Solas: He is extremely amused, it shows that a person can act professional even if ‘raised in a forest’ as he had heard being hissed from clenched jaws between the nobles. Solas offers his support in surprising the nobility about their knowledge; showing that elven people aren’t the beasts they are made out to be.

Dorian: Oh he is happy, beyond happy. He is goddamn overjoyed. The fact that he gets to see the Inquisitor teach these nobles a lesson; is something he’d almost be open to pay just to witness. He always gives them a knowing smile when they enter a new ballroom or event; it’s always as fun to see the change in their eyes.

Sera: She hates the dalishy shit and she hates the nob shit, it’s not really a win-win situation for her here. Sera gets used to it but will never admit she finds it funny when the nobs look all priceless because they think someone can’t do something just because of race; and guess what? They can you shits.

Blackwall: Well pull his beard and call him Andraste, he didn’t expect that. Blackwall enjoys standing in the back and watching; laughing to himself whenever a funny expression shows up. Alas, he can’t hold himself from breaking out in laughter together with the Inquisitor once they return to Skyhold, ever goddamn time. It’s always the same with people not expecting it. He respects them deeply though.

Iron Bull: He gets a smug look on his face everytime, standing in the back with a feeling of respect and pride as the Inquisitor does their thing; it’s nice that they can switch from professional to dalish-y with just a snap of their fingers. It shows the Inquisitor has the world by their feet, but they truly couldn’t care less.

Vivienne: She isn’t too surprised, she had an inkling of a guess this is how it would go down; she has seen the way they hold teacups and didn’t mind. Vivienne almost finds it humerous, the way the Inquisitor proves them completely wrong; she is proud.

Varric: Go Inquisitor, Go. He is proud,  He knows the Inquisitor is probably a born leader at this point and just enjoys the ride, smiling with a smug look as he overlooks the scene taking place everytime. It never gets old; and he makes sure to mention it in his book- as the Inquisitor looks like a true leader in these situations.

Cole: He doesn’t fully understand why people react like that, the inquisitor is just being proper according to how they want them to be; is it truly that surprising? He doesn’t comment much on it, not really something he cares much about.

Josephine: She thanks the maker, she thanks andraste and every elven god there is the day she sees it; she was so worried that things wouldn’t go alright but she is overjoyed to see things work well. She doesn’t care much about anything else, as long as the nobles are pleased.

Leliana: She finds it about as hilarious as you’d expect, it almost reminds her about Zevran when he suceeds in acting like a proper person for more than 15 minutes, surprising everyone in the group. Leliana doesn’t comment on it much however and just enjoys the charades that take place.

Cullen: Man or woman, Cullen has to admit it’s sorta attractive. That they can so easily get that regal aura around them; he doesn’t ever voice his opinion however and is just happy things to according to plan. Jokingly asking for tips as he could really need them; he hates those damn balls more than anything. 

[spriggan-tiggy]

Tell me all about Wynn!

O GOSH, if you are ready for the wall of text, I shall tell you all XD Short version: Abandoned kid, who mixed with a wrong bandit gang, caused him a lot of issues and trauma, but he’s recently been trying to recover and move forward. VERY VEEERY LONG AND WINDED version under the cut (a lil gruesome too) No, really, it is very long, you have been warned:

Wynn is a child of two Scarlet Crusaders, (neither originally was one, but dad met a girl and she got mixed up and mind filled with nonsense, and he dumbly followed her because love and rest is history), he also has an aunt and cousin (Elyonn) through his dad with whom he only recently rekindled, as they fell out of touch as soon as father became a crusader. Mother was a zealous fanatic, always pushing Wynn to learn and study, as soon as he was able to grasp what letters are, something he really had no interest in, or really much talent, he preferred to run around and play with animals. He also befriended every single cat in the monastery, much to his mother’s annoyance. His dad, while also pretty zealous, at least from parent perspective, was a decent guy and understood that Wynn was his own human being and let him run off and play, cover up for him when he did that, help his study so it wasn’t as tedious and one of the fondest memories Wynn has of his dad, was sneaking out the monastery to go to Darkmoon Faire, and he still enjoys the event as it reminds of simpler times. Scar on Wynn’s cheek is actually from his mother, when she was disciplining him, and he has very little memory of the woman. His dad, per mother’s insistence, took Wynn on one of the crusades, in the attempt to expand, only to perish to the undead, Wynn being the only survivor. Wynn was temporarily placed in the orphanage, and letters were sent to the mother (which she ignored, in a blind zealousy of ‘Light will bring my son back to me’ sort of thing), and after many fruitless attempts, and zero replies from either the Crusade or the mother, Wynn was placed for adoption, under the presumption, his mother was dead. Wynn had no idea what his aunt’s name was, otherwise he would’ve mentioned her. (mother dies years later in Northrend, killed by some adventures for a bounty, while part of the Scarlet Enclave. Wynn saw the poster and had zero emotion on the matter, even when he found out the bounty was fulfilled)

There was a noble High Elf couple. Not a loving marriage, girl got married of to the guy from status/money, and he completely ignores her for his studies. He ignores her so hard she can't even get him to do 'husband duties' of having kids, so she eventually manages to convince him to at least adopt for now, so when they do have kids, they have a sibling. He waves her off as 'yeah whatever go for it' so of to the orphanage she goes, and meets Wynn. She find kindred spirit in his situation, and they bond, and after several visits, she signs the papers and formally adopts him. Husband doesn't even realize she adopted a human boy, he was glad he could focus on his studies and she was out of his hair, but when he did notice he just '???? why a human?' she explained that she bonded with this guy the most and he needed a loving home. He just shrugs and even tries to teach Wynn to be a warlock like him, 'cept turns out Wynn had zero magical affinity, in that direction at least and his magic was more nature based. His new mom signed up with one of local hunters and that's where he learned to be a hunter, and eventually got his first pet, a wolf named Timber. Fast forward a few years ahead, Wynn is 14-ish, his parents finally got a kid of their own ( a girl, Wynn gets a long with her wonderfully) but husband starts dabbling in magic more hardcore, to the point of borderline fel corruption (he also becomes a blood elf). Before anything bad happens, mom scoops up the kids, moves to Dalaran, and sends the dad divorce papers in the mail, through her family. 

Dalaran is city of magic, his mom goes to become a teacher and an archmage eventually, as she's a mage herself, sister also becomes a mage and Wynn just...can't put himself anywhere and he feels a bit left out but he does eventually manage to get a job, as turns out with a gang. He doesn't mind because they, seemingly, just bunch of smugglers, which is what Wynn does at least, stealing and smuggling. As it later turns out they go much deeper, murders, kidnapping you name it. Wynn stick to his little branch and keeps his head low, but when he finds out about their darker dealings, he becomes afraid for his family, so he decides to leave and go to Stormwind branch, to keep them safe, in case he fucks up, god forbid. (Never happens, I will bring it up later) He witnessed guys hands cut off because they upset the leader or people be thrown to the dogs for worse etc that sorta brutal, like fallout raider level brutal. They're an average crime gang tho as long as you don't piss anyone off. Dating someone on the outside of the gang wasn't forbidden but you know, you gotta be careful like I imagine one would have to if they are in a gang and their SO isn't. Wynn briefly had a bf in the gang it didn't work out, dude got salty tried to get Wynn killed 'cept he got looked on like an idiot and got killed instead, for 'abusing power'. Wynn did get a girlfriend outside the gang later on. Cute girl, simple farmer's daughter on one of the many farms in Elwyn Forest. He told her he's in a gang, didn't tell which, but he wanted to be honest. She was fine with it, and they made plans to run away eventually and start a new life. All was well until the gang got a whiff of them wanting to run away. Long story short, this guy named Fist, slits the girl's throat in front of Wynn, saying no one leaves, and now that he has no reason to leave, he shouldn't want to, "And if this, didn't convince you...' as he shoots Timber as well, and if he is still thinking about it, they'll come for his mother and sister too. I honestly have no idea how Wynn didn't fucking snap completely in that moment, but he gained a lot of anxiety and commitment issues, it take a while for him to even establish something with Fred, who is thankfully patient, and loves Wynn and is willing to do whatever as long as he is comfortable.

The whole thing actually pushes Wynn to run away anyways, goes fuck knows where under a new name, tries to go clean, gets taken in a by a older widowed blacksmith and his two sons about his age. All goes well for like 6 months. Wynn finally feels he ran away and moved on, 'cept that when he comes home one day, to find blacksmith and his sons dead (along with 2 bandits) with clear signs of fight. Blacksmith has a note on his back stuck with a knife 'We told you: no one leaves'. Wynn runs away again, joins smaller scale gang near Lakeshire for protection, goes back to petty thievery, and that's when he gets caught by Fred who throws him in the Stormwind jail which is a no no. They keep doing this thing where Wynn runs away Fred puts him back for like 5 times before Fred asks why does he keep doing that to which Wynn just '...did you really just ask me why I don't wanna be in jail?' 'No I mean people usually welcome staying in jail for safety' 'well it ain't safe the for me'tldr he is basically just afraid to fall in love again in fear off that person getting killed again. Arguably, Fred is not a defenseless farm girl, he'd like to see them try and kill him, but still that is genuine fear, and he has a break down when he accidentally lets 'I love you' slip, they fucked that boy up pretty hard.

Wynn and Fred relationship is another filled rant, but to keep it short, they didn't really like each other at first, were together because Wynn was helping Fred clear out his former gang, as Fred is a mercenary and there were contracts for some of them. Along the way love blossomed, so Wynn almost left, and when Fred questioned why, Wynn said 'I am falling for you, and it would be better if I just forgot you were ever a thing, it's safer for you' 'Have you thought about how it'd make me feel if you left?' 'Relived I'm gonna presume' 'No, actually I'd be rather upset. I grew to like you a lot too' To which Wynn literally went 'Like??? ME??? are you nuts? You must've hit your head a lot as a warrior' Fred laughs at that but basically tells him he had a hard life too, and he is not telling Wynn how to mourn, but he doesn't just want to date him, he wants to be his friend too, and if he needs him, he is there for him. He smooches his cheek and walks off, saying choice is Wynn's he will be there for him either way. Wynn scoff, and turns around to climb on his drake but just....doesn't. He curses and calls out to Fred, as he runs up and hugs him saying 'That doesn't mean I like you' 'Yeah I know'

Wynn lets 'I love you' slip and has a break down, trying to leave again, finally explaining to Fred who blocked his path, everything. The girl, the wolf, his life story. Fred tries to reassure him it'll be fine, but Wynn is inconsolable, but he does manage to convince him to stay. When he wakes up in the morning, Wynn is gone. Obviously Fred is heartbroken, but knowing the situation, realizes Wynn is set in his ways although he obviously can't help but feel sad about it. Wynn didn't actually leave, he stuck around to get last look at Fred before he leaves and when he does, he sees how distraught he is, realizing he truly loves him, and he realizes he'd hurt Fred more if he left. He comes out of hiding, to surprise of Fred and Fred is about to say something but Wynn just 'Let me...speak, please' to which Fred nods slightly 'I...I was selfish. I only thought about myself while thinking I am looking out for you. I didn't think about how you might feel if I just up and left and I'm sorry. I might not always say this but...I do love you and...you have come to mean world to me and...it might take a while for me to get over this, and if that's fine with you I'll never leave again...' and he looks away. Fred just smiles and comes up to him and holds him close 'You never have to tell me anything. I know. And I will say it for the both of us.' Wynn just stands there for a second, but then buries his face in Fred's shoulder and cries, apologizing profusely.By the events of Legion, Wynn is a lot more lax and confident, he just straight up goes 'You know what?! I am tired of being afraid, they wanna get you to get to me, they're gonna have to go through me first' He is still not fully out of his shell but he's a lot different than when Fred first met him few years back for sure.

They helped during Dalaran evacuation in begining of legion, and after all said and done, Fred convinces Wynn to reunite with his mom and sister and Wynn just 'Okay buster just because I said I wanna be more open doesn't mean I wanna be this open!' 'But you do care for them too, why not make sure they're safe too? I am just suggesting if you don't wanna go-' 'No you're right...I'm just still...not out of the mentality yet' and they go and reunion goes incredibly well,  mom and sister really missed Wynn and glad he is alive and well. His mom tells the that they can stay in her house if they need a place while they're in Dalaran, so that's where they live during Legion. After they reunite with Wynn's mom, and Wynn learns gang been after her a few times, but his mother coldly remarks 'Oh those guys? Yeah their ice solid corpses kept the sewer waters cold' and Wynn just 'JFC mom you're metal!' 'Don't mess with my children and then come threaatening me. I will destroy you. I had one scumbag in my life doing that, never again' (referring to her ex) Wynn goes to Fred 'you know how through out our jobs we've been dispatching small groups here and there ye? 'Yeah?' 'I am in Dalaran, I'm tired. I am gonna stab the snake in the eye.' '...are you sure?' 'I am not a scared boy anymore I am tired of running. I need you to go with me though,but as a worgen, scarier that way.' Fred chuckles 'Whatever I do, don't stop me. I need this.' Fred nods.So off the go in the Underbelly, and Wynn, accompanied by an 8 foot black worgen in heavy armor sure makes people whisper. They go into one of the inns and just chill, eventually a thug comes up and says 'Fist wants to see you' so they go, Fred intimidatingly leans at the door they entered from, Wynn sits at the table with Fist. 'Look what the cat dragged back in, it's Wynnie! How is it going sweetie?' 'You got promoted from Stormwind huh?' 'Yeah, demon invasion and all, every one wants supplies. Look, Wynnie, I am gonna cut the bullshit. You cause a lot of damage and we got a score to settle' 'Oh yeah we do!' and with that, he swiftly  pierces Fist's hand to the table. Fist's guards obviously jump in as he's screaming, but Fred straightens out and they kinda stand there hesitating. Wynn then grabs Fist by the hair 'You see me? Look very closely because I am the last thing you will see' 'What do you want?! Money? I'll give you anything.' 'How pathetic you are when you realize I am not the little boy you can push around anymore. This is for the little boy, who's life you destroyed, and that little boy came back, and ended yours. And by the way? My name is Wynn.' and with that, he slams Fist's head into the dagger hilt, through the eye, killing him. One of the guards finally drops a pair and charges at Wynn only to be slammed into the wall by Fred. Rest back up, as Wynn incredibly unceremoniously removes Fist from his dagger and wipes it on Fist's clothes, 'Tell the Big Guy, Wynn is back, and if he sends anyone after me or my family, tell him what I did to Fist. I'll be waiting.' And with that, he grabs a bag of gold off the table, puts his dagger away and walks off, as the entire in whispers inn awe.They go to the park, and Wynn is just very silent, and Fred asks 'Better?' 'Actually, yes. Sorry I went so gruesome back there.' 'Not my style, but you needed it, and he had it coming for long time' 'Do you... mind if I have some time alone for myself? I'll stay safe, I promise' 'I know, and of course, I need to run some errands anyways' 'Thank you for coming with me' 'Anytime' Fred kisses his cheek and goes about his business, leaving Wynn alone, who cries with relief that he is somewhat free finally.

That’s basically all I got at the moment figured out, which a lot I am so sorry if you actually sat through the whole thing, bless your patience. Their BfA events are still WIP largely, but they do go to Kul Tiras and Fred goes back working for Grawymane, but that a smuch as I got so far.

[fallen029]

A Dragon’s Love.1: Destiny

For as long as he could remember, Laxus Dreyar had been his idol. He looked up to the S-Class mage. More than any other in the guild. He wanted to be just like him. It was hard not to admire him. He was just so…cool. From the way he was all nonchalant about things and how he'd heard that years ago, he'd even plotted a mutiny to overthrow his grandfather.

Laxus was the real deal. He was a serious mage. Even when he wasn't the strongest or the best, he still came out on top. It was how it was meant to be. He was the Thunder God and all others were just lucky to be around him.

It helped too, he would admit, that the man seemed to dote on him more than any of the other brats that ran around the guildhall. In the new generation that Fairy Tail was breeding, Laxus seemed to find fault in it all. Almost, anyhow.

Destiny was how he saw it. He was destined to be the next great mage of Fairy Tail and, well, it was only natural that Laxus would recognize that. Would one day take his place and, hopefully, insight just as much fear as he did.

From a young age, he could remember the interest Laxus took in him. The earliest memory of it he had was once, when he was five, and hanging up around the guild as his mother and aunt worked. He was sitting at one of the tables, enjoying some juice, when he was suddenly joined by the man.

Now, if there was any man that could intimidate a child, it was Laxus. Just from his size and demeanor alone. Add in the fact that he'd heard the man complain many times about how kids were just bringing the place down and that if they wanted to stay on top, they needed to get the brats the hell outta the hall, it was easy to see why the little boy just stared at him in shock.

Not that it was the first time they'd spoken. He could remember, thinking back hard on it, that though he couldn't place the times or conversations, they had to have had some sort of relationship then. He didn't remember being very fearful, at least. And the usually brooding man even spared a smile for him.

"Orion," he greeted as the boy just stared. "Ain't you gonna speak to me?"

He remembered nodding before mumbling a greeting that made the man snicker.

"You ain't scared of me, now, are you, kid?"

"No." He shook his head then, quickly. "I'm not."

And he wasn't. He was nervous, more than likely. The man was his hero, even back then, after all.

Laxus just leaned across the table, staring hard at him. "The Salamander's brat, I've seen 'im. Practicin' his father's magic. And Gajeel's brat, he's way older than ya, but he's practically a master at what he's learnin'. Some sorta rock magic shit. Real hard stuff, controlling the earth. You know that?"

He nodded some then. He'd seen the older boys practice before. They were really good! And so were some of the other children in the guild.

"Then I come in here and see you, Orion, just sittin' around, not learning anything. What gives?" When he shrugged, Laxus frowned. "I asked a question, brat. What gives?"

"I don't know any magic," he told the man slowly.

"Nobody does before it's taught to 'em!" He huffed then, rather hard. "What are you now? Huh? Five?"

"Yes." His age was pretty important to him, like it was most kids.

"The way I see it, the younger you learn, the better." Then Laxus reached across the table and tapped the white haired boy on the head. "So you need to pick one. And soon. Overtake the Salamander's brat first. He's what? A couple years older than you? That'd really shove it in Natsu's face." He snickered again, just from the thought, it seemed. "So you pick a damn magic, kid, and you pick soon. And then, when you're ready, you're gonna start kicking these others asses around here, yeah? You're gonna-"

"Laxus, what are you doing?"

He could remember then, his mother coming over, hands on her hips, glaring at the other S-Class mage.

"Mira," he'd groaned, glancing up at her. "I'm just talking to the kid, alright? I-"

"No," the waitress said as she came to stand behind her son, glaring over his head at the man. "You're cursing at my son. And you're going to knock it off."

"Mirajane-"

"Go, Laxus."

He just glanced back down at the kid then. Orion remembered that well because Laxus had that slight smirk of his that he only ever seemed to give the boy, before getting to his feet.

"Alright," he'd surrendered. "But I mean it, kid. You learn soon. You don't wanna get left behind."

After he'd disappeared off into the guildhall, Mirajane took to making sure that the boy was alright. She'd probably heard Laxus tone and thought that he was scolding the boy or something. But Orion only nodded a bunch and insisted that yes, he was fine. And he told her, as he always did, that Laxus was really cool and awesome.

"I know," she'd say whenever he told her that, before kissing his head. "He is, isn't he?"

Yeah. And even though Mira didn't want him to start learning magic so early, as she was insistent that he had no reason to and that Laxus was just being rude and overstepping his boundaries, it was all he could think about. He asked all sorts of people what kinda magic he should learn.

His Uncle Elf had many ideas.

"You should learn to be a takeover mage," he told him frequently growing up, even after he'd chosen his own magic. "You're a Strauss! It's what we do!"

But he just didn't feel drawn to that. He didn't wanna be a beast or animals and he definitely didn't want to be a demon (Mira assured him many times she'd never give him a chance to take a demon's soul anyhow).

It was Erza, actually, another one of the great wizards in the guild that he picked up his magic from. Sorta. She was babysitting him one day (sometimes, if the guild was just too busy, Mira would pawn him off on whichever one of her friends were leaving, which happened to be the reequip mage that day) and was showing off some of her weapons to the boy. He'd mentioned that he wanted to learn magic and, well, Erza couldn't help her humble bragging when it came to how proficient she was in hers. There was only one weapon she had though that really caught his interest.

"What does this do?" he'd asked as they stood on her front lawn, some of her different swords and such strewn across the grass. "Is it magic too?"

"Hmmm?" Erza, at that moment, was more interested in showing off one of her spears and just frowned down at what he was looking at. "Oh, yes. Well, the bow that you're looking at isn't, no, but the arrows that I use to accompany it occasionally have some magical abilities. It's not something that I use frequently. Look at this instead. The spearhead is so sharp that-"

"Can you teach me?"

"Hmmm?"

"How to shoot the arrows." He wasn't able to lift the massive bow she had on the ground, it was that heavy, but still just stared. "That's what I wanna do."

Erza had never had someone ask specifically for her to teach them anything, so of course she was all on board with that. Before they learned any magic though, she had to go out and get him a much smaller bow and work on his aim with him. And run it all by Mirajane who was still weary of him doing anything other than play with toys and color in his coloring books. She gave in though, of course, eventually, and Orion found much fun in it. Even without magic, he liked shooting at things. And Erza was a great teacher. He told her that a lot. He could tell it made her happy.

The older he got, however, he found that he still felt the need to honor his last name, the way that his uncle grumbled he should. But he didn't wanna learn anything about stupid souls or any of that junk that they were all into. It wouldn't help him any, after all, with his passion for archery. No. Instead, when he was about ten, he went to his mother, requesting that she show him what she knew about transformation magic.

Which, for the record, was a thousand times as hard as anything he'd ever done. It took years for him to get anything really useful out of it. But he stuck with it. He knew how valuable it would be out on a job, how practical. With his deep blue eyes and striking white hair, he was easily recognizable around the local towns as the she-devil's son. And he didn't want that. And with his transformation magic, eventually, he learned to be anyone he wanted to be (it also helped with hiding or sneaking into places).

And, he was glad to say, that Laxus told him once that his skills and choices were something to be proud of. Orion didn't know why, but that made him feel…warm inside. It was one thing when his family complimented him, but Laxus? Laxus Dreyar? The coldest person in the guild?

That was all he wanted back then, when he was a kid. For Laxus to respect him. It was so weird. What was Laxus to him, but some stupid guy in the guildhall that, fine, was powerful, and yeah, they were all sure he'd be their guild master someday, but so what? He wasn't anything to him. Just a man.

But he was the man. And he couldn't explain it to the other boys who asked sometimes why he even bothered with the jerk (that's what Gajeel's son, Radic, called him a lot, though that had more to do with the fact that the older slayer didn't seem to get along with his father much). There was nothing to explain. He respected the loner persona, the way he got the Thunder Legion (which included his Aunt Ever) to bow to him, and the fact that he was one of the strongest men around. He was just so…cool. And if the others didn't see it, fine, that was on them. But Orion saw it. That was all that mattered.

It wasn't like he liked the other kids much anyhow. He almost always liked going off on his own to practice his magic. It was better that way. He was, after all, shooting live arrows, some that were enchanted with spells that, if they came in contact with the other children, could do some damage. His favorite were these arrows that he had infused with lightning. They even looked electric, when they left his bow, like a bolt heading straight for its target. He purposely would shoot them off around the grounds sometimes, if Laxus was near, to show it off. The man never said anything about it, not to his face, but once he heard him mentioning to his mother about how skilled he was with them.

There was nothing more that he wanted than to be as powerful as the Dragon Slayer. And while he knew that innately, slayers were just all around stronger than normal mages, he vowed to make up for it in brute strength. He had his Uncle Elf train him physically and, his Aunt Ever's friend, Bickslow, he taught him all sorts of other workouts. Fun ones. He knew all these cool acrobatic tricks and told him that they would help him with his archery.

"You shoot off your arrows just out in the open and someone'll take you out real quick," he'd insist. "So you use all these cool little tricks I teach ya to find places to hide, yeah? And to get away fast. You-"

"I don't need to hide," he'd tell him a lot before shooting off an arrow at a tree or something, depending on where they were training. "They can see me. Won't matter. My arrows'll strike 'em down before they have a chance to do anything to me."

"You got some courage there, kid," the seith would always say. "I mean, it's stupid too and gonna get you seriously hurt one day, but hey, not all bravery is a good thing."

He didn't care what anyone said. Laxus didn't hide away and shoot off strikes of lightning from afar. Oh, no. He came right out and attacked. Because, at the risk of sounding like he spent too much time with his uncle, he was a man, Laxus was. Really, he was. And that's what Orion would be too.

The second he was old enough and got the go ahead from his mother to start taking jobs, he did. He'd always kinda tagged along with Elfman and Lisanna, since he was rather young, but it was a big milestone, going out on one all by himself. But he wasn't afraid. His bows could pierce the roughest of hide.

Laxus was out on one of his usual self-exploration/S-Class mission sabbaticals of sorts when he first left on his job. And he still wasn't back when he took his second. Or his third. He had taken ten all by himself and completed them on his own when Laxus finally got back. He remembered that day because he was actually in the bathhouse, bathing, when the man entered.

It startled him, as the guild hadn't really opened yet. He'd come in with his mother while she was opening and was avoiding helping her by claiming his muscles were tired and he needed to take a soak. He knew too that the hall wouldn't be officially opened for another hour or so, which made him wonder what Laxus was doing there so early.

"What are you lookin' at? Huh?" Laxus grumbled when he joined him in the huge tub. "It's rude, looking at other men while they're all undressed or whatever. Less you want someone to think you're queer."

"I was just… I didn't know you were back from your job already," he said slowly, looking off.

"What's it to you? And what are you doin' in here anyhow? Just 'cause you wear a mark don't mean you're some sorta member. You ain't taken a job. They just let this place go to shit. Let you damn kids do whatever you-"

"I have taken a job!" He was rare to raise his voice, especially to someone he held in such esteem, but like most boys his age, the last thing he liked was to be treated like a child. "I've taken ten. And tomorrow, I'll take another one."

That made Laxus quiet. Then, from across the tub, Orion heard him grunt.

"All by yourself? Not with your stupid aunt or uncle? 'cause those don't count. Those-"

"Yes," he said, finding his tone going back to normal then. "Alone. All by myself. Not even with any of the other kids."

Then, even though the man had just gone on about how, apparently, looking at one another was awkward, he looked over the boy and grinned real big. That one that he only ever seemed to share with the kid.

"No kidding?"

He shook his head.

"Mom didn't want me to, but-"

"You got mage blood running through you," Laxus told him then, rather harshly. "A real mage. An S-Class. She's foolish to think that she can put a stop to you doing anything."

"Well, I mean, she's technically an S-Class," he told the man slowly then. "But, I mean, it's not like she's you or anything."

"Huh?"

"You said that I had S-Class blood," the boy explained. "But my mom's not really an S-Class wizard. Not like I'mma be. She only uses her magic when she has to. I don't even think she really likes it that much, truthfully. Not anymore. But when I'm S-Class? The rest of you better watch out. I'm gonna take all the jobs. All on my own. And SS-Class too."

Laxus just narrowed his eyes then, for a moment before shaking his head. "You dream big, kid."

"I don't dream," he told him then, staring down at the water. If he stayed in much longer, his mother would complain. He really should help her open. "I…I just know. I'm gonna be one soon too, so watch out."

"Those are one trials," he sighed as he sunk lower in the water, "that I'll be sure to be a part of. You wanna be S-Class, kid? Great. So does everyone else. Have fun proving yourself."

"You already said it," he told him then. "I have S-Class in my blood. My mother's the she-demon. And my uncle, he's good enough too. And Erza trained me. Another S-Class. I have this. I'm gonna do it. Before Radic or any of 'em. It's my destiny."

That annoyed Laxus for some reason. When he looked back at the boy again, it was with a glare.

"Destiny?" He snorted. "And it was my destiny to get this damn guild already. See where that landed me?"

"But you will get the guild." He couldn't help it then, as he let his inner feelings out. Locking eyes with the man as he glanced over at him, he said, "You're the best mage we have. And you-"

"When I get it, kid, it won't be because of destiny. It won't be because of who my grandfather is. It'll be because I fucking earned it. The universe didn't drop it in my lap. And no damn god rewarded it to me. I put in the sweat and blood and made it mine. You wanna be S-Class? I don't give a damn how much of your mother's blood you got running through you. When you go for it, if you get it, it's gonna be off your hard work. Your dedication. And don't you ever fucking forget that." Then he added, "You're special, fine. You got good blood. You got a damn good mother. But that means nothing, Orion, at the end of the day if you don't do anything with it. I got a lacrima in me, it makes me a Dragon Slayer, but I wouldn't be anything without all the work I put into becoming one of the best damn ones around. So you keep working with those bows, kids. And you learn to transform into every fucking thing under the sun. And then one day, it won't matter who your mother was. It'll matter what you did with what you got. Understand?"

He could only stare though and, eventually nod. Then, sneering, Laxus shut his eyes.

"Good. Now get the hell out. I wanna relax. Can't do that with you in here. You damn brats, always around when no one wants ya."

Orion scurried out off the bathing area then too, out of the actual guild, really, calling out to his mother before he left that he was going to train some before Erza showed up at the hall. Then he'd practice with her some too.

Mira didn't think much of it though, and only reminded him that she was working all day and to come back by the guild for dinner, if he wanted. Not that she was expecting him to. He was so cute, now that he was making his own jewels, he wouldn't come to her for meals. He'd buy his own stuff. Elfman only told her that was because he was super manly, but she thought it was because he was a cute little boy trying to prove he was a man.

To her brother, she was sure they were the same thing.

She was busy restocking when she heard someone else coming from the hallway. Not even turning to look at him, she said simply, "You know, it's kinda rude to come in before I've finished prepping for the day."

"Just got in and needed a bath," he told her simply as he went to look over the request board, apparently already heading out on another job. She had been in the back when he came in, but he didn't glance over at her. He didn't need to. She always looked the same. "The kid disappear?"

"Off to train," she said simply, still with her back turned to the bar as she looked over the liquor. "I assume you have something to do with that?"

"I didn't do anything. Why would I?"

Instead of answering, she said simply, "He's going out on jobs now."

"He told me. He's also got a staring problem, but-"

"What did he tell you?"

"What do you mean? He just told me that he's taking jobs. What else is there to tell me?" He was pulling down a job then before turning to head over to the bar. "I'm taking this one."

Turning, she glanced down at it before back up at him. "Do you think it'll take you long?"

"It's never the jobs that take me long," he grumbled. "Just don't feel the need to come back if I find something more fun to do along the way."

"Well, maybe you're more needed here," she said slowly.

"The boy's fine. He-"

"I know he is." She just stared into his eyes. "I'm not concerned about him. But Master-"

"Gramps is like an old dog, demon," he said before turning his back on her to head off. "He heals himself. And he don't ever die. He eventually gets so old that you just gotta put him down."

"Right. Because that's gone so well all the other times you've tried it."

He didn't even glance back at her. "The kid told me he's gonna be an S-Class, Mira."

"Did he?" she asked. "Not shocking, considering all of the little boys in the guild say the same thing. And the old men. Not to mention the girls and the women-"

"He's got it in his blood." He was over at the doors then. "And he's got it in his heart."

"Yeah, he does," she whispered then, just staring at his back. "Dragon?"

He stopped there, at the door, if only for a moment. "Hmmm?"

"Talk to him when you get back." Then, to clarify, she said, "Your grandfather. Please."

He just opened the doors and headed out. "I'll be back, demon. Keep the place safe while I'm gone, yeah?"

She always did.

Next Chapter

Fanfic

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[yourplayersaidwhat]

We had just finished our first quest, where none of us really were experienced DnD player, and I did some feeble attempts at solid DM'ing. The goal of the quest had been to find an antidote for a farmer’s son who had gone into a magical coma.

(ps: due to an inside joke, Winnie the Pooh is in the party like, just there. Christopher Robin is the farmers son who fell ill. The party coloured winnie the pooh neon pink. I don’t know why.)

DM: You reach the farm. You don’t have to roll shit to figure out these peeps are poor. They have a cow and a goat in a small pen that don’t look too hot. Oh, and there’s a donkey tied by the door to their shedlike home.

Elf Ranger: guys i think these peeps are super poor.

Half-Elf Cleric (only good aligned partymember): oh my god really????

DM: just as you say that, the door creaks open, and a thin, a bit aged man peeks out, and when he sees you, his eyes go wide and he steps fully outside, and he says “Are you the ones my daughter sent to- have you found it? Did you find the antidote for my son?”

Half-Elf Cleric: Hello we are here to speak to you about Jesus Christ- I mean, Njord. That’s my deity, right?

Elf Ranger: Yeah, the word of Njord.

Dward Fighter (whose alignment is sorta fuzzy): Yeah we got some antidote dude but uhh time cough up some gold pieces, aight

DM: So- these news fills him with both glee and fear. He sinks down on his feet-

Half-Elf Cleric: What was he on before

DM: -His knees. He sinks down on his knees, and he brings his hands together in your typical prayer like- he’s begging you. “Please, we have… nothing.”

Tiefling Warlock (Chaotic Neutral): sad trombone

DM: “Please, I- I have but one son, he and my daughter are- we won’t be able to do the amount of work- we need him!”

Tiefling Warlock: “Shall we move on, my fellows?”

DM: As you guys speak about this, Winnie the Pooh slides down from /Half-Elf Cleric/’s shoulders, where he’s been perched, and sort of waddles forward, past the begging father, and into the house, to join Christopher Robin.

Half-Elf Cleric: AWWWWWW

Dwarf Fighter: Ey he didn’t swipe the antidote from us, did he?

DM: No- no, you still got that.

Tiefling Warlock: I would’ve Eldritch Blasted his ass if he had.

Half-Elf Cleric: I think we should just give them the antidote.

DM: Like- just to clarify: the antidote is not like- a valuable thing. It’s just this one specific conconction for this particular- you won’t get more cash out of this anywhere else, nobody is gonna run up to you and go “oh, my father is in a magical coma and needs an antidote that-!” like. It’s literally worthless except for these people.

Tiefling Warlock: But we won't have to help someone pro bono.

Half-Elf Cleric: *annoyed sigh* I don’t give a damn about money.

Everyone except her: *horrified gasps*

Dwarf Fighter: … well, you guys do got a nice ass-

Everyone: WHAT

Dwarf Fighter: the donkey. You got a nice donkey.

DM: You… want the donkey.

Half-Elf Cleric: IS IT EEYORE

Everyone: YES we want the donkey.

DM: … The man looks at the donkey and then at you, and he goes “I- If it is a trade between the life of my son and my donkey, it’s- then it’s yours.” And- and Eeyore looks up at you all-

Everyone: YES IT’S EEYORE

DM: -and he goes “I figured I was going to get sold anyway…”

Half-Elf Cleric: AWWW

DM: and the farmer goes “AAA” cus he didn’t know he had a talking donkey

Dwarf Fighter: eyy hasn’t he seen Shrek talking donkeys means cash

DM: yeah well that doesn’t matter now cus he’s giving him to you guys

Dwarf Fighter: right you are

DM: and the man unties Eeyore and he sighs deeply and he goes “this surely won’t make things easier for us… but in exchange for my son… *sigh*”

Tiefling and Dwarf: oh stop moping around jesus hell

Half-Elf Cleric: EYY if I have a ‘set of commoners clothes’ can i give them to them cus they look poor right

DM: I guess

Half-Elf Cleric: EYYYYYYYYYYYY

DM: but then you’d be naked

Half-Elf Cleric: NÄÄÄIJ in that case fuck it you don’t get shit i’m sorry i tried

DM: -and you just start taking of your clothes to give them to the man, but you realise halfway through what you’re doing and you get dressed again

Tiefling: cover yourself, woman

DM: so- let me get this straight. You guys literally have a box on wheels that you pull along with you, and it is filled… with the golden heads of a pair of statues AND YOU WANNA TAKE THIS POOR FAMILYS DONKEY.

Tiefling: survival of the fittest, honey *grabs rope with Eeyore on the other end*

-they go inside and give Christopher Robin the antidote-

Christopher Robin: what the fuck

DM: And the family all rejoice at the awakening of their son, and they turn and thank you, and they’re in the middle of hugging you all when the farmer murmurs “They… they took the donkey.” and the whole family just. Goes quiet-

Dwarf Fighter: fucking tattletale?

DM: - and the mother sort of sinks down on her chair and she whisperes “How will we surviv-”

Tiefling: Oh for fucks- “look, woman, if you don’t shut up I’ll Eldritch Blast your ass-”

Half-Elf Cleric: “HEY WHAT”

DM: The woman gasps loudly and pales-

Dwarf Fighter: “Yo what’s the problem don’t you want a talking donkey”

Half-Elf Cleric: “I meant the whole threatening to KILL HER actually”

Tiefling: “I wasn’t threatening her, I was just stating a fact”

DM: That if she wouldn’t shut up you’d kill her?

Tiefling: It’s a very known fact.

DM: Winnie the Pooh is looking at Christopher Robin with such glee; it’s really indescribable how happy he’s looking, and he’s hopping around happily and he’s climbing up on the bed to give him a big old hug, and Christopher Robin, he goes- “What the- could you guys like take the bear away from me.”

Everyone: “WHAT”

Half-Elf Cleric: ���Isn’t he like with you?”

Christopher Robin: “Wh- no? I just went into the woods and he just came up to me, and I found this ruin and he just followed me? And then I got stung by something and that’s all I remember? Could you like take him away he’s a bit creepy. And why is he pink?”

Half-Elf Cleric: “Well uhh he’s yours now. You don’t have a donkey anymore, so-”

DM: And this sorta comes as news to him cus when the father told the fam he had just woken up so he was a bit disoriented so now he goes “Wh-Why is-? What happened to our donkey?” And the father, he goes “Well, son, it was their demand to give you the antidote… and-”

Tiefling: “By the way… can we get this transaction on paper?”

DM: - and the boy turns to you incredulously, and he goes “But-! You can’t! We need that donkey, without it we’ll die!”

Dwarf: “You’re young and strong, boy, time to saddle up.”

Tiefling: “You got a bear now.”

DM: - And Christopher Robin starts to cry too, and he goes “You might’ve saved our lives, but you’ve killed our family-”

Dwarf: “Anywho, gots to go.”

DM: So, you go to leave the shedlike home, and the athmostphere is next to devastated-

Dwarf: “Okay, okay, I ain’t okay with this. We go here and save your life, and you guys are devastated? Really?”

Tiefling: “I agree entirely. Ungrateful runt.”

Cleric: “I-”

DM: “And Chrisopher Robin slams the door in your face.”

Cleric: “No, I was- I was gonna whisper to him "I didn’t want this, I wanted to let you have it for free-”

DM: -Okay, so you whisper that, and he just stares you down, and he shakes his head, and tears are falling down, and he just spits out “You’re just as bad as them for letting it happen anyway,” and he throws the door shut in front of your face after doing that.

Cleric: “GODDAMNIT”

DM: okay so like just to state- like, you guys are super welcome to just. give them something on your own accord, like, out of your own pocket, you picked up som gold in that temple, so if you want to-

Cleric: I WANNA GIVE THEM 100 GP

Tiefling: WHAT “NO, NO, DON’T” ok so I try to pursuade /cleric/ not to do it.

DM: You- you can’t roll to make another player do stuff they don’t wanna do.

Tiefling: Okay, uh “Hey, /cleric/. Don’t do it.” There, you’re pursuaded.

Cleric: … yeah, nah. I give them the gold.

DM: So- you hammer on the door and you shout “I GOT GOLD FOR YOU” or something like that, and Christopher Robin opens the door, and once he sees the gold you’re extending, he- he is so happy. He takes the gold and he goes to hug you, and the entire family comes out and does the same, they can buy like 3 donkeys now i dunno how GP works in dnd yet uhhh so-

Tiefling: Fuck this, I eldritch blast Christopher Robin.

Cleric: NO YOU DON’T i stand in the way.

DM: -Fine? Uh, roll an attack roll.

Tiefling: Twelve.

DM: You miss. You hit the ground.

Tiefling: … don’t I hit the house at least?

DM: NO YOU- WHY DO YOU WANT TO BURN THE HOUSE DOWN

 Cleric: WHY WOULD YOU STILL ROLL WHEN I WAS STANING IN THE WAY- YOU TRIED TO KILL ME

Ranger: All of this for a donkey

DM: Nah, dude, you got the donkey. This is because /Cleric/ gave them 100 GP

Ranger: Oh okay

Dwarf: Yeah, but they’re super ungrateful. Bastards.

Cleric: Yeah but we can’t KILL THEM for that??

DM: so the family, they- after the attempted murder, they run back into the house. 

Dwarf: Did they take the gold?

DM: Yeah.

Dwarf: Rat bastards.

DM: Does /Tiefling/ want to keep his spree of 'teaching people some manners’ going or?

Tiefling: Nahhh. But he does cast sleep on /Cleric/ cus he’s pissed.

Cleric: haHA i’m a half elf and I can’t be magically put to sleep!

Tiefling: Nvm then I’m tired.

DM: So- you guys walk away from the house, and just for a moment you hear the door opening and then quickly closing-

Ranger: No

DM: -and you turn, and- Winnie the Pooh has been tossed out of the house.

Dwarf: THIS IS WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT when Njord taketh a donkey he giveth thee an illuminescent bear, and they just TOSS HIM OUT

DM: - and Winne the Pooh sits on the ground very- very sadly. Had he had tear ducts, he would cry a single tear. He is on the ground-

Ranger: Still pink?

DM: Still pink.

Cleric: :’(

Ranger: ugh FINE let’s take him with us.

DM: You go and pick him up, and he is so happy. So, so happy.

Dwarf: what are we, collecting Winnie the Pooh characters?

DM: He’s on /clerics/ shoulder again-

Tiefling: Can’t we put him on Eeyores back?

Dwarf: Can’t we put EEYORE on WINNIE THE POOH’s back?

DM: You put Eeyore on Winnie the Pooh back, and you now have a donkey on top of a bear on the ground. They are not moving.

Cleric: Oh dear.

DM: And Eeyore sighs and goes “I knew I’d be too heavy”

Everyone: “AWWWWWW”