#and he doesnt even stay up late anymore because everything over there is so important it requires him to have his 8 hours of sleep intact

[stuck-in-the-ghost-zone]

@intertexts OKAY. FINALLY GETTING MY SHIT TOGETHER AND WRITING THIS ALL DOWN SO ITS NOT JUST ROTATING IN MY BRAIN ANYMORE

NEW HAVEN WARDS MARK WINTERS ESSAY (except its more like. stream of consciousness me being insane over him)

>> its been too long, simurgh is too close. she fucking ROCKS half the city with an earthquake before she shows up. ashe runs inside as the roof collapses. his mom is trapped- she had grabbed her phone and some other small essentials and was on her way out when she got pinned by the rubble. ive typed this part out already in another post but as shes yelling at ashe trying to get him to leave, she realizes he wont go by himself so she texts mark . its kind of a shot in the dark- part of her hopes he hasnt evacuated yet so he can come get ashe and get him to safety, but she immediately feels this sense of dread for thinking like that because then that also means he's in as much danger as they are. and she can hear the singing now- some tiny part of her brain logically knows its too late and theyll be trapped by the quarantine protocols anyway, but. they can still get out of that alive. they just need to get there. anyway the important thing here is that the last thing ever hears from his wife is a text that says "ashe athome cant lea e come get hjm"

adding jonesys stupid fucking image in here bc it's so funny to me and is fr how I felt typing this whole thing up for like 4 hours

>> okay going to try my hardest to keep this chronological but i KNOW i will get distracted from that halfway through. starting from the simurgh attack. assuming simurgh attacks look pretty similar to each other, ive been imagining this a lot like the one we actually got to see with the travelers. the notice to evacuate went out in the early afternoon. (im going to say on a wednesday because thats the day i used in my fic and this is OUR AU i get to make the emotionally devastating rules. not that that matters to anyone but me. its a little treat.) so. mark was at work, ashe was at school, i like 2 think ashes mom works in somehting to do with old things or books or whatever so she was probably at work too. her IMMEDIATE thought is to go get ashe from school, because of course it is! (worldbuilding side note i think there are probably evac protocols in place for schools where. first priority is to keep the kids Togehter and get them out first so theyre SUPPOSED to evacuate straight from there and then meet up with their parents when everything is safe. but in a real emergency what parent is going to trust that and just leave their kids safety up to someone else?) she gets to the school and it is absolute chaos with all of the other parents trying to do the same thing. she gets ashe, goes to call mark to tell him where they are and- oh, yeah. she forgot her phone at home this morning. i just. like. the mundanity in that. its a normal morning, she maybe woke up late and had to rush out the door, got to work realized she didnt have her phone, had the thought like "damn thats frustrating. oh well, not like ill need it, ill just get it when im home later" we've all had days like that!!!!!!!!! but it becomes fucking heartbreaking in this situation because it means she now has No Way of contacting her husband to let him know that she has ashe and to tell him not to go to the school (because hes probably thinking the same thing) and to get out and where to meet them when theyre out. she KNOWS its a bad idea, she knows it would be catastrophic if they took too long... but all the other cars are going in the opposite direction, the road back is completely empty, surely they can be fast enough? she knows exactly where she left it, itll take two seconds and hey maybe the roads will be empty enough at that point they can get out even faster. so they fucking RUSH back home. she tells ashe to stay in the car wiht the doors locked while she runs inside.. he is scared and confused and doesnt want to be alone so after. maybe 30 seconds of her being gone he gets out of the car and goes inside.

>> switching to mark pov finally. evac notice goes out, he fucking books it to his car. but because its important to me that hes a little bit of a coward. this is where he hesitates. he knows he should find his family. meet up with them, make sure theyre all okay and they all make it out together. he's also logical. he knows this is a bad idea and his wife's job is closer to the school, shes probably already got ashe and theyre on their way out too. he can just leave. but he hasnt heard anything from her. thats not like her, she would call or something if they were okay, wouldnt she? so he kind of. panics over what he should do. he starts driving, telling himself he'll make up his mind on the road. hes about halfway to the end of the quarantine zone when he gets the text. has a moment of "fuck why are they there?" before immediately deciding to go get them. finds the aftermath of ashe's trigger. ashe is in breaker state, unresponsive except for... why is he laughing. hes sitting on the floor, knees up to his chest hands over his head jsut kind of. staring into the middle distance eyes unfocused quietly loopy laughing like hes totally unaware of the. scene.

>> mark is like. frozen there for a minute obviously horrified and he thinks ashe is having some kind of mental break at the shock and horror (he doesnt. understand that ashe killed her yet) until he goes and tries to get him to stand up and . oh the floor is unstable and bouncy like a trampoline and as soon as he touches ashe's shoulder hes knocked back by a pain in his hand that suspiciously feels like a joybuzzer turned up to 11. okay! fuck! his kid is a fucking parahuman and his wife is dead and the singing in his head just keeps getting louder and he knows what that means and he knows they have to get the hell out of there but hows he gonna do that when he cant get within 5 feet of ashe-

>> i think he just has to like. sit there and talk to ashe. which is a uniquely horrible punishment because it kills so much time in a situation where they need to get out, now, and the whole time theyre in the same room with whats left of a bloody corpse (but he cant think about that right now) and he has to be calm and keep his voice low because every sudden movement makes ashe's powers flare up again in response to a perceived threat- its MESSY, its SLOW its TERRIBLE but he needs ashe to calm down enough that he can actually talk to him and get him out. he eventually does (it feels like hours later, it was probably only like.. 10 minutes) and the weird distortions stop and mark just. runs forward and picks him up and takes him out to the car before ashe can. see what else is in the room.

>> he doesnt even bother putting ashe in another seat in the car he just holds him in his lap as he drives (oh god there are wings in the sky) just. as fast as he fucking can to whatever checkpoint or hospital or safe zone there is for any survivors. theres. not many. enough that the two of them can get lost in the crowd if they try hard enough but . not enough to fill an auditorium. he's maybe got a bunch of really small scrapes or bruises from the process of trying to get ashe to calm down but he doesnt know whether ashe is actually hurt or not so he goes to find some sort of medical attention and the whole time hes thinking "maybe this is a bad idea. i shouldnt tell them ashe has powers what if they take him away" and he gets the same sort of rundown about quarantine and payment that krouse got and mark is just standing there fucking shaking, hes still carrying ashe, he hasnt put him down since they left the house (ashe is still out of it- not because of his powers but because of. everything) and i think thats the breaking point where mark makes up his mind like. fuck this. we cant stay here, we cant go through all of the bullshit protocols, we cant wait that long (he can still hear simurgh in his head- what if shes pushing him to make this choice? is that exactly what she wants? who cares im getting my son somewhere safe)

>> i think mark is really good at. compartmentalizing and pushing down any emotion thats not anger and turning to logic in panic situations rather than emotion. so he hasnt like. fully processed any of this yet. he was more focused on "solve the problem, get out, get safe" to actually think about the fact that. oh my wife is dead. ashe doesnt have a mom anymore. ashe has powers now. how is he gonna deal with a powered kid? he never really cared about capes what does he even do now? i dont think any of this hits him until theyre out of the quarantine zone hiding out somewhere safe (as safe as they can be after. all of that) and his head is quiet and ashe is asleep and he looks down at his phone and sees the text and it all comes crashing down like. oh my god that was real. shes gone. he doesnt even have anything of hers and he never will because their house is basically gone and they can never go back and- FUCK HIM UP!!!!!!!!!!! FUCK HIM UP i want him to have a fucking breakdown . villain origin story moment he realizes nothing is ever going to be okay or normal ever again because theyve been marked by simurgh and hes already broken a huge fucking law how much worse can it get? what else does he have to lose. everything in his life revolves around keeping them safe and keeping ashe out of danger. simurgh be damned if hes going to become an agent of chaos it might as well be on his own terms to protect whats left of his family.

>> i think they move around a lot after that, never staying in one place for too long, never doing anything that make people look at them too closely. mark does a bunch of odd jobs, but its hard to get a job when youre legally dead and have no experience with making a fake identity so. theres a lot of stealing. never anything that would garner cape attention, at least at first, and if people started to get too suspicious theyd just pack up and move again.

>> and then mark does something that DOES draw cape attention. idk what it would be, but it captures the attention of. a guy who knows a guy who works for overlord. hey man you seem like you could use a job. off the books. so he joins up as like a... foot soldier mercenary whatever for overlord. this job is risky- hes essentially a full time criminal now (but what does that matter, he already broke the law), he has to spend extended periods of time away from home, he has to kill people sometimes now... but the money is worth it. he's okay with being a number, a blank face in the crowd, because it means he wont get the immediate fallout if something goes wrong. that gets put on whoever his boss is. ashe is maybe 13/14 by this point, he can take care of himself at home. mark gives himself a limit, hes never going to be away from home for more than 3 days (which he eventually extends into 5 days, which then turns into a week-). he is. really fucking good at his job. hes smart, he can be ruthless when he needs to be, he's efficient. no identity means no friends which means no slacking off on the job. this is all he has, he needs this, so hes good at it.

>> he starts to move up the ranks, take bigger (but never riskier) jobs, and it catches overlord's attention. overlord offers him a promotion. offer being in air quotes here. he lays everything out plain and simple- youre good, youre going to join my personal elite team, i know who you are and why youre running. i can offer you an out, get you and your son (oh god oh fuck overlord knows about his kid) a new life, a new identity, nobody will have any reason to suspect you. and also in order to join you have to take this (cauldron vial!!! + canon parallel to the like. forced experimentation on harttawa)

>> mark doesnt want pwoers. he doesnt want to be a cape. but overlord knows about ashe, knows about their history, and if he turns down this offer theyre both fucked. so logic takes over emotion again and he accepts it, leans into the position, stays as fucking ruthless as ever. but its Different now. hes a cape, he has a secret identity, a name, people are Looking at him now, even if all they see is a costume.

>> silly sidebar for ME here but this period of time is where he meets tide :] forever thinking about ur nhw tidalwave post. fight to maim, not kill.

>> a couple years pass like this and its Fine. ashe is 17 now, mark knows hes fucked up (theyre both fucked up) but hes too deep into this job now to give it up. its kept them safe and in place for this long, he can fool himself into believing they can stay like this . ashe does not have the same train of thought. hes lonely, hes miserable, hes bored, he just wants to have a life! they fight a lot about this. they fight a lot about this and sometimes mark leaves in the middle of it because he gets called on a job so nothing ever gets resolved. they have a particularly rough fight and mark gets pulled away in the middle of it to answer a phonecall, and when he comes back ashe is still pissed but hes just so tired and defeated that hes like "listen. we'll deal with this later, i have to go for a few days, there are groceries in the fridge, do whatever you want, just stay here, be safe, dont be stupid" and then he leaves! and ashe is still pissed and his dad is a hypocrite (why does he get to go out and use his powers and put himself in dangerous situations when ashe gets in trouble for floating the tv remote to the kitchen table while hes eating breakfast, and never gets to leave the house or go to school or have friends or-) . and this is where he makes the decision to sneak out the first time!!

>> he starts sneaking out more often, usually only when he knows mark is gonna be gone for extended periods of time, he gets good at disabling the tinker devices, he has friends!! everything is good!!!! mark finds out when he gets home from a job early and ashe is gone. and he fucking freaks out, hes ready to tear up city streets, hes ready to go on a fucking rampage... but then he hears the window open as he climbs back into his room . its a big like. "oh shit" moment on ashes part, he doesnt think hes ever seen his dad this angry before, he threatens to put bars on the goddamn windows, etc (mark has a reason to be as angry as he does- if anything ever happens to ashe everything hes ever done will have been for nothing. but its still. harsh.)

>> i think once everything cools down from this they do have an actual talk about it that isnt a fight; ashe tells him he has friends now and he just wants to be normal, be a kid, he cant spend anymore time in his room its killing him knowing hes wasting his life like this etc. i think mark maybe reluctantly agrees to letting him go out with his friends (he doesnt know who they are yet, ive GOTTA believe he knows tide hes had to have fought or at least seen the wards before, theres no way he would say yes to this if he knew thats who ashe was talking about) but gives him strict like. dont use your powers ever, curfews and check in texts and a code system and its a little Too Much but ashe is just. giddy at all of it because !! curfews are a thing Normal kids get!! he gets to go hang out with his friends without the looming threat of sneaking out to do it !!!

>> ashe starts using his powers anyway because his friends are capes and !!! he is also technically a cape!! he can help!!!! i think he starts out by beggingggg to go on patrol with them sometimes (i wont even do anything, i just want to see what its like, you guys know i have powers too i can handle myself, dont be like my dad etc etc) i think the wards are pretty reluctant to do that bc they know what its really like but. man. its ashe. he deserves Something. it becomes more frequent and serious and the prt handler tells them they should recruit him.

>> mark is sooooooo fucking against ashe joining the wards. because of course he is he has to be. ESPECIALLY considering. hey. hes a villain, working for one of the most notorious villains in the city, being put in a situation where he has to choose between fighting his son or losing overlords protection is a HUGE NIGHTMARE SCENARIO. (he would choose to say fuck overlord with no hesitation, no way he would even consider the other option, but he also knows what kind of consequences a choice like that would have)

>> hey. actually. that gives me an idea. what if thats exactly the scenario that leads up to the whole trickster thing. overlord wants to be proactive, launch an attack on the wards, they just got a dangerous new member lets go see what kind of powers theyve got. mark obviosuly refuses. overlord does not take being told no very kindly. hey what if this is how mark gets the lizard stuff. instead of getting it as a side effect mutation of his powers, he pisses off overlord, the guy who has a morbid fascination with animal human hybrids and genetic experimentation. ive solved everything!!!!!! (<< guy who is fucking insane. please imagine me with mad science hair and crazy eyes as i am saying this. dr. cross who?)

>> mark effectively goes missing while overlord has him captive, ashe is freaked out because his dad has never left without telling him first, but maybe it was an emergency or whatever... until his hard limit on jobs passes. its been over a week and no contact whatsoever. hes gone. ashe gets fucked up about this

>> mark is unconscious for the entire trickster thing. he was unmasked for the experimentation so when the heroes come to clean up the aftermath they dont recognize him as one of the villains (tide does. tide doesnt tell anyone) and take him to. a hospital rather than prison. he is fuuuucked up when he wakes up. gotta adjust to a WHOLE lot of freaky lizard things. hes kind of out of it, understandably, so nobody... tells him. its only a few days later, when mark is more lucid and can stand on his own two feet without losing balance, and when he can see properly again, tide visits him (tide has been visiting him the whole time, not that he'd remember it much, because who else will. who else will!) tide tells him ashe is missing. he breaks the news as gently as he possibly can because its gonna be a shitshow either way (he knows how mark is gonna react no matter what. waiting doesnt help either because then hes just pissed that he was lied to for days ("you coudlnt even stand, how was i supposed to tell you then?" "i dont know, i wouldve done something. he could be anywhere by now")

>> mark goes sooooo rogue. he goes so very rogue. hes literally got nothing to lose anymore. the wards try to work with him, try to help him, because theyre looking for ashe too, but he thinks theyre too slow, too good, too afraid to do things that actually need to be done. he goes too far and gets put in the birdcage.

>> i think he probably loses it a little bit in the birdcage. hardcore despair depression that turns into just this awful terrible rage. hes mad at himself for not being able to stop it, hes mad at ashe because this is what he WARNED him about for YEARS and if he only would have listened, hes mad at the world, hes mad at SIMURGH . all nhw mark winters knows is be so full of grief and rage at all times

>> breaks out of the birdcage (still insane abt this btw) and goes back on his. sort of rampage. the wards stop him (tide is. retired at this point. that happened while mark was in jail) and they try to talk some sense into him, maybe they get him to slow down just a little bit, enough to tell him what theyve learned (not much). mark and everyone else eventually learn about muse. mark winters worlds most miserable man is watching every single one of his nightmares play out in front of him and he realizes this is what simurgh marked them for. hes watching his son, unmasked, level a fucking town in some gaudy outfit he knows ashe would never wear and hes calling himself muse and thats not what his laugh sounds like and

>> okay im a little more fuzzy past this point. i said this mostly joking before but i DO think there should be a moment where. mark is up against muse and hes trying to talk to ashe like he did that first night to get him out of breaker state and ashe gets one lucid moment where he just starts crying and babbling about losing marks jacket and hes so sorry but that only lasts about 2 minutes before trickster gets control of him again. this is the catalyst for them realizing that yeah, ashe IS still in there and it might be possible to break him out .

>> god. all of that was plot and i didnt even talk about Little Things which are my favorite. heres a collection of Little Things:

>> i want him to keep his weird terrible lizard biology <3 maybe its not as smooth a transition as in canon, maybe hes just got the scales and the eye and not. the tail or infrared sense or whatever. but he Could. as a Treat for Me.

>> i actually... ironically think mark is a better dad in this au than he is in canon. like. dont get me wrong hes still awful and he sucks but. hes working with the knowledge here that no matter what he does he and ashe are still doomed and hes always waiting for the other shoe to drop and hes more scared and theres nothing he can do about it so. he makes more of an effort to Actually Care about his son. before overlord he never wouldve missed a birthday for anyhting. theyre all each other has.

>> that little bit of dialogue i typed up for mark earlier. stay here, be safe, dont be stupid. be safe, dont be stupid. he says that a lot, always in that order. enough that when ashe is with the wards sometimes he'll also say it. dakota "im going to pick up the pizza" ashe from the couch "be safe dont be stupid" (IMMEDIATE recoil as he thinks about it for more than a second because he has an oh god i sound like my dad moment. but everyone else finds it endearing)

>> THE COAT!!!!!!!! THECOAT. i think about the coat a lot. its just. a random one that ashe grabbed from the closet the first time he snuck out. but it was a good size, exactly as baggy as he likes, hey! he found old money in the pocket! so he just like. claims it as his own and neither of them ever say anything about it but its suuuuch. comfort clothing for ashe and he doesnt like thinking about why. it just is. he wears it EVERYWHERE all the time, its the one piece of clothing the rest of the wards never steal beacuse they know its important to him.

>> there is exactly one (1) surviving picture of ashes mom outside of their old house and its a crumpled polaroid mark had in his wallet from when ashe was a baby.

>> he will never admit this to himself or anyone else but. as much as mark is scared for ashe and scared for both of their safety and what it means for them to be simurgh victims... he is also scared OF ashe, even just subconsciously . he has nightmares about finding ashe that day, laughing. about what mightve happened if he wasnt able to break ashe out of that state. about what mightve happened if he had never gotten that text and continued on with the evac protocols. i need that blonde man to be fucking miserable

>> literally always thinking about your tidalwave post. never not thinking about your tidalwave post. i dont even have much to add here other than i really like nhw tidalwave a lot. the aftermath of the leviathan fight makes me crazy even if thats mostly one-sided on tides part.

>> his tinker specialty is power enhancement. he makes devices that make his and other peoples powers stronger or extend their range. the drawback is that the devices need to be Connected to the person using them in some way (thinking about the ports he has on his back in canon. his gauntlets clamp down on his forearms. overlord had him make each of the capes under his power something that enhances them too so theyve all got little. gadgets embedded in them somehow) (begs the question can he also make things that dampen powers? is this falling too far into Trump category?)

>> he got ashe his headphones as a birthday present when he was like... 15 . their fights had been getting more frequent as he had to be away from home more and ashe was fully in his angsty teen "i hate my dad" phase, but mark had been working w overlord for like a year at that point and money wasnt as much of an issue anymore so he got ashe like. the most high quality noise cancelling headphones he could possibly find.

okay i think thats all. its nearly 1am lmao!!!!!

[sokkathebluewolf]

Hi I would like to ask if I can, why doesnt Zhao tell Ozai that Azula is most likely pregnant from sokka rather than him?

Hello, there!

The answer to this question has a couple of layers, I'd say. For starters: Zhao doesn't tell Ozai about his suspcions because he feels offended, personally affronted, and he's deeply upset with Ozai at the moment. As you've seen, his anger towards this whole situation started since Ozai found out the truth and started forcing unwanted things upon Zhao, but it got worse when, upon learning of Azula's pregnancy, Ozai was immediately violent with him instead of listening to reason. Zhao TRIED to tell Ozai of his suspicions right away, but Ozai was completely unhinged and very much unwilling to listen to anything he said. Once Zhao sees Azula later, something snaps inside of him: he leaves, pissed off, convinced that Azula is controlling him, using him, and looking to destroy him and Ozai at all costs. As Ozai seems to be so blind to Azula's apparent intent, regardless of how often Zhao tries to tell him what's what, Zhao isn't keen on explaining to Ozai what he believes is going on anymore...

... Because, ever since that moment, he wants Ozai to find out the truth for himself.

And that means that Zhao wants Ozai to look at the child once it's born and see directly that there's no way a kid with likely physical resemblance to Sokka could ever be Zhao's child instead. This, of course, would result in Ozai losing his shit, attacking Azula, most likely killing the child no matter if it's a legitimate heir to the throne, and sentencing Azula to an even worse life of misery, imprisonment, whatever wild horrors Zhao wants to imagine Ozai is capable of. All of which is remarkably fucked up on his part, but that's how irrational and spiteful he's being as of late.

Therefore, right now, Zhao's big bet is to await the vindication he 100% believes awaits him. He's pretty much throwing a tantrum over how wrong Ozai's behavior has been towards him, and he wants Ozai to have the big realization of "oh, I fucked up and I shouldn't have been as nasty to my best friend as I was!" all on his own. He expects Ozai won't listen, much as he hasn't listened to him so far... so this is a vindictive sort of "I TOLD YOU SO" waiting to happen for him. Zhao doesn't have any doubts that the child isn't his, and that Sokka is the actual father...

But he doesn't have evidence to prove it, either, because the Head Sage lied about how long Azula had been pregnant :')

And that specific problem is weighing over Zhao, because it completely messes up his narrative. Saying this for sure BEFORE the baby is born isn't enough. The child's birth will serve to confirm both that the Head Sage lied and that Azula was manipulating him, which is what he's been telling Ozai all along, and of course, prove Zhao was actually the one in the right all along.

Ultimately, though, I think it's very important not to lose sight over the fact that Zhao is absolutely not okay, mentally or emotionally, right now. He's basically becoming the worst version of himself he ever has been. The strategic, manipulative, conniving guy who always knew how to play both teams and how to stay afloat in every circumstance is... pretty much gone. He's made plenty of mistakes that certainly landed him where he is now... but he's particularly unwilling to acknowledge that he had any responsibility in his own outcome. As far as he can tell, he's done everything right, and everyone else around him has been unfair and cruel to him. And why lie, you could even make the case that this is true, up to a certain point in the story. This means, though, that Zhao's current state of mind is absolutely chaotic. There could be many strategic ways to handle his current situation... and he's deliberately choosing to resolve NOTHING out of sheer spite as he waits for things to run their course and for Ozai to finally get bitten in the ass by his own mistakes. Which, yes, will happen, but not necessarily the way Zhao expects it to...

So, yeah, don't ask for sense from Zhao these days. He's beyond reasoning atm.

[mystic-sky]

One shot wherein the s/o of Gojo Satoru gets injured trying to protect him and brought to the hospital but doesnt die. With a mountain of angst pls. 🥺👉🏽👈🏽

Word Count: 1.6k

16-year old Satoru had never known much about compassion, or any crucial emotions that would’ve paved the way for him to be a brilliant jujutsu sorcerer, through and through.  He lived life as he went, nonchalant and never dispatching empathy in the moments it mattered most. You appeared like wildfire, ringing out so many emotions from him all at once. You were placed on his team without warning, and he felt like you were just another nuisance for him to have to pretend to worry about. You were undeniably cute though, which was the only reason he ever made conversation with you from time to time. But even though he flirted with you, he was always sure to remind you that he was always better, stronger and more talented. 

One day, to his surprise, you gave him a piece of your mind when he tried to pursue you. You told him to learn some manners, some compassion, and to come back when he wasn’t an asshole. You expressed that he was arrogant, and all but so many people would tolerate him the way some teachers and his so called “team mates” did.

“No ones going to fall in love with you for real if you keep being a jerk.”

That was when he first learned of rejection. He was so used to having everything he wanted. It didn’t register in his brain the first time that you didn’t like him. He picked on you more because of it, unfortunately. You were thick skulled, and headstrong. You were charming for someone who started out so weak. He watched as you worked hard, and never asked for help from him or Suguru, or Shoko unless it was for the sake of the mission at hand. You were extremely talented. Just a late bloomer.

He asked you why you became a sorcerer one day, much to your surprise. You explained it to him and from that day on, he wasn't so much of an asshole towards you. He’d learned of admiration, but considering he was so cocky, he never did tell you that. Instead, he went from saying things like “Leave this to us” to “I’ll leave this to you.”

Maybe you do or don’t realize that he finally acknowledges you as strong, but you do know talking to him was 40% more bearable when you reached your third year of high school.

That same year, you lose someone who was close to you. You had no control over it. The way it happened, the result was inevitable. It had nothing to do with weakness or being in the wrong place at the wrong time. There are some outcomes in life that are meant to happen- and no one is ready for it. All he knows is that he didn’t like how it made you feel. He couldn’t give you a rebuttal on how it was possibly yours or someone else’s shortcomings that fated such a thing to happen. Instead, you both sat on the steps of the school long past curfew, sharing ice cream while he watched you cry. Neither of you spoke. For the first time in his life, he had nothing to say. He also knew he shouldn’t leave you there. He hoped his silence and presence would convey something, along with the free ice cream. This was the night Satoru learned sympathy.

He never wanted you to feel that way ever again. He became a bubbly force, always in your face. He smothered you with activities, sweets, things that became memories to deter you from your loss, and somehow amongst it all, you forgot that you hated him.

Some years had gone by. You'd become a fine jujutsu sorcerer, with the help of Satoru and so many others. You’d acknowledged him as a friend and possibly something more due his flirtatious personality. He had became someone who filled the void of the person you lost, showing you that life does in fact go on.

“It took you way too long to kill that thing,” he rolled his eyes. “Aren’t you a special grade jujutsu sorcerer? Get it together (Name).” 

He playfully scolded you. “You literally stood there and watched me do all the work.” Your clothes were stained of blood, but you weren’t bothered entirely. You were looking for something to wipe your hands with, shaking them violently at the ground.

“What can I say, you’re truly a site to behold.” He winked, dwindling a handkerchief in front of you. The flutter in your chest was erratic. 

“Nonetheless, I knew you could do it. I was just here for moral support.” He grinned, patting you on the head.

“Satoru,” You say, turning towards him and sheathing your weapon. “You’re really important to me. You’ve had my back since we went to Jujutsu Tech and then some. I don’t think I’ve ever said thank you for always being there for me.”

“So, thank you.” You say, offering him the warmest smile and making his heart skip a beat. He hadn’t known what to say. You hadn't ever put him on the spot like this before, which is what it made it so easy for him to be around you. You never praised him for anything, yet here you were thanking him, smiling at him like you loved him or something-

Did you? He wondered. He didn’t undertsand what it was he felt when he started to ponder the idea of you loving him. You never once complimented him on his looks, nor had you ever reciprocated his flirtations. And here he was, actively being your friend because he admired your character. He didn’t even know himself anymore.

“Stop staring at me like that and say you’re welcome.” You sass, breaking him out of his thoughts. “You’re freaking me out.”

“We’re friends. You don’t have to thank me for that.” He said cockily, getting right back in character. That night, he realized what it meant to love someone.

He got home and laid in bed, trying to draw the line in his head between how he loved you and how he loved kikufuku. Then he tried depicting the differences between his bromance with Geto Suguru and his friendship with you. He knew he liked being around you, and whatever goals in life he would eventually pursue- he wanted you to be there too.

You never once made it obvious that you liked him back in any sort of way, and it ticked him off. He would spend some days doing everything in his power to get a reaction out of you, even a kabedon, to which you burst out laughing in response. Satoru had never actually experienced true defeat until that moment. You had became one of the most precious things in the world to him, but he thought you were so dense and oblivious it pained him. He wanted to give up on pursuing you, but no one else in his entire life had ever made him feel anything. All these emotions he discovered were extensions and results of you allowing him to integrate himself into your life during your darkest moment. You had thanked him for being there; he wanted you to say so much more.

So when you leapt in front of him, coughing up blood in his direction and shielding his body, there wasn't a reason he could summon for it. What made him feel sick to his stomach is how you managed to smile whilst being impaled by the horns of the curse behind you. The rough taste of iron plagued your tongue and blood plopped from your lips and down your chin.

He caught your body with one arm, cradling you, before using his free hand to clutch the creature’s skull. He smashed it instantly, blood spattering all around your bodies. 

“Why did you do that?” He found himself panicking. He knelt down, stripping himself of his shirt and attempting to suppress the bleeding. “You’re not weak and you’re not stupid- why?!”

“Because, Satoru, I love you.” You say through blurry eyes. He’s petrified. Satoru Gojo did not know loss or grief. He was sure to feel it if you died right there in his arms. He already killed the curse that fatally attacked you. If you died, what would his purpose beyond that be? The only thing he hadn’t done yet was tell you he loved you. He knew in that moment that he loved you. But before the words could fall from his lips, your body went limp in his lap.

“No...” He took hold of you, immediately teleporting to the nearest hospital. If you died, he would blame it on his own incompetence. He’d flaw himself for this moment alone and take responsibility. He found himself praying to whatever God there might be, begging them to spare your short lived life. Not without him saying it back.

After multiple surgeries and blood transfusions, the doctors had informed him you were going to live, but recovery would take some time. Your cursed ability was able to delay the blood loss and neutralize a bit of the damage just before it became entirely fatal. He was thankful, the most he’s ever been for anything.

“I told you, you’re not weak,” he stared down at your comatose body. “You may make stupid decisions. But you’re not helpless.”

His voice cracked a bit whilst saying this, as he knelt beside you. He would stay with you endlessly through your recovery no matter how long it took. Nothing else mattered.

He was going to tell you that he loves you too.

[ushiwakaout]

parings: Kenma x reader, Oikawa x reader

warning: Fluff, bad grammar. nsfw under black line. fem reader. TIME SKIP HAIKYUU

a/n: request are open! please don’t be afraid to do so!

Kozume Kenma

Match made in heaven

Both of you are at home workers, other than the fact that kenma is a CEO of his own company

You work for him, you’re his editor and you work pretty fast since you obviously do nothing in your day but edit and binge watch anime

you guys could probably go days without talking and just communicate physically and understand everything.

If you go to the store, and he’s gaming that’s when you’ll talk

Always knock before you go into his little studio room

You never come behind him anymore because one time he was filming a scary gameplay with a heart monitor and everyone thought you gave him a heart attack 

but no, kenma is just baby and you wanted a good laugh- you felt really bad about it tho bc it was live and you where crying your ass off and he was yelling at you 

fake breakup video like the next day for trolling

Okaya anywho

if you want his attention and he’s live, you remove one side of his headset and kiss his cheek (theres a several compilation videos of you doing that all over youtube) “I’m going to the store, you want anything?” 

you always wait like 30 seconds and caress him a little to let him know you’re physically there and not just standing there.

“Uh- yeah... yeah. Hold on.” (there is also a compilation of kenma just ignoring you and you just standing there until he answers) 

you always end up naming his favorite snacks, drinks and food and he either agrees or denies. 

everyone thinks its weird how your relationship works

SOME MANY VIDEOS OF “kenma and y/n communicating without any words” 

you go many places by yourself since kenma does very long streams or just long videos

you both stay up really late together

if hes not making videos hes looking at paperwork and if hes not doing that he’s helping you edit

somehow kenma is the more productive one

you have channel yourself that slowly grows thanks to kenma

you only do lives and leave up the whole streams bc you dread editing but you’ll do anything for kenma

just to make extra cash you have and OF

most of the videos consist of watching you play video game while kenma eats you out under the desk

a lot of audios because kenma doesn’t like being his face filmed while having sex

theres a video in your own OF when you do a tik tok trend where you surprise him while he’s filming 

“Kenma can you help me for a second.”

“Hmm, what is it kitten?” 

He paused his game and while his chair turned you undid your robe

Luckly he’s not live and kept the camera on

He just smiles and spreads his legs for you

(gdiewgsfiuchsiufviusdghvypofgsivhrwshb my brain is malfunctioning ugh im so in love with kenma its not even funny)

He makes you sit on his lap, as he suckles your nipple in his mouth. 

His hand firmed tightly around your rips as he kisses every inch of your chest

“You’re so pretty... So fucking pretty.” He mumbles. He’s kissing down your chest all the way to your tummy before picking you up and making you stand 

He makes you stand in front of the camera while stands behind you and kisses the crook of your neck. 

“I want you to look in the camera for me kitten, can you do that?” He kisses her jaw “Can you be a good girl for me?”

(wow if i write any more smut for kenma i think i might go crazy jskwbvbdei)

sex is very much a frequent thing, most of the time it starts as cock warming while watching a movie and two second later your begging to milk kenmas cock again

he loves when you beg for his cock, makes him feel wanted

he loves feeling your tight pussy clench around him when hes about to cum and you’re cumming for the third time, panting, begging, crying to having him fill you up with his hot cum.

Blow jobs under his desk or while hes on an important call are a must.

you love watching his cock slowly twitch with pre cum when you lick his shaft

mmm i need to stop- i love him so much ugh

Oikawa Tooru 

Being lazy in argentina was a dream but a little lonely

Tooru was always away at practive but lcukly the apartment he had been renting had a pool, and you spend most of your days at the pool, reading or playing some game he just bought you

you hate how early he freaking wakes up

hes making breakfast and blending shakes at like 5 in the morning 

there’s days he doesn’t really mean to wake you, you know the difference bc if he wants to wake you he’ll leave the blender run for a while and if h doesn’t he does it in seperate pulses so it’s not so damn loud

if he does it on purpose, he has breakfast ready for you before his own

doesn’t expect you to stick around after you eat 

when he wakes you on accident he’s like “Oh my baby i’m so sorry honey.” 

cue kiss attacks, warm hugs and him making you a cup of coffee/tea, whatever you prefer that morning

he’s so sweet

he knows you work hard too (even tho it doesn’t seem like it bc people think youtubers and streamers have an easy job when it clearly is mentally very stressful)

He knows that when he wakes you up, you had legit just gone to bed like two hours ago. 

sometimes you sleep though the noise and before he leaves he wakes you up just a little so he can kiss you goodbye.

its always something like *shake* *shake* “Baby.... honey”  *caressing of the head/cheek/hair* “I gotta go to practice now, give me a kiss princess.” you always wake up to the sound of that and give his a really sweet and tender kiss. Oikawa really just wants to fall back asleep with you and hold you, especially today since it was a cold morning

after you give him the kiss, you caress his cheek and then shove him away- a little jumpy that he need to go. “Love you.” you mutter before covering yourself with the blankets 

he always slaps your ass over the blankets, it never huts but it’s just a sign of his actually leaving to practice 

You wear his stuff when he leaves

low key have attachment issues since you moved with him to Argentina

other than pool side reading, or doing a few laps before breakfast- you really don’t do anything but work.

Work for you consisted you of just playing video games or streaming

You’re popular on the female side of gamers 

sometimes you have streams where you ask your fans to play and write down their handles and you’d add them to a game or sum

Everyone knows your dating a professional volleyball player an they think it’s an interesting duo

You cry when Tooru brought Hinata over, he smelt like home

you def. helped him adjust to the life in argentina bc it’s nothing like home.

hinata comes over for dinner ever weekend

if you’re not working or at the pool, you’re in a white hoddie and some shorts, just watching Hinata play some beach volleyball while playing some game

You very much remind him of kenma- it helped a lot when he got some sick- you didn’t really ‘help’ you just cried with him about how much you miss home

although your schedule isnt the best, youre always awake when tooru gets home, always there to greet him with kisses 

hes lucky you like cooking, bc he always comes home to an empty stomach 

you’re probably the slowest cooker he knows but you take your sweet time bc you know that it always comes out w the best result and he doesnt complain anymore

baths w oikawa are frequent

muscles sores are a usual so seconds before he gets home theres a hot bath being  pampered with your love for him

you work so slow on everything hes surprised you actually get stuff done

a little offended that he doesn’t believe in your slow work ethic bc it worked since highschool.

there had been times where he just ask if you’re not ever sick of being at home locked in all day and it stated a very month long fight.

sleeping in different rooms

(LIL ANGST AHEAD)

Tooru can hear you cry from the other room

he didn’t mean to hurt your feelings, he really didn’t. he just doesn’t want you to regret anything- especially moving here with him

you hate it when he questions your life ethics. it makes you feel like a failure and unworthy.

your life is simple and you like it that way but the second he questions it you think that you aren’t doing enough

will 100% sleep outside your door because he can’t sleep alone anymore. he’s gotten used to you being right next to him

you realize that it seems he’s given up so now it’s time to go to the kitchen and get water

but to your surprise tooru is very asleep on the doorframe when you open the door. it’s makes your heart ache just a little bit. he looks tired, his eyes are puffy but he looks so at peace.

you wake him up to go to bed but he has other plans.

he’s kissing you so sweetly, every piece of skin he can find he will kiss

will carry you to bed and kiss your tummy as your shirt ran a little too high

will start to kiss your inner thigh and pull down your underwear and slowly make his way up to your pussy

you’re clearly trying to shove him off (not hard enough) because you keep closing your legs and trying to push him with your foot

will spread your legs and keep his hands there to he can start eating you out

this is his apology. this his how oikawa tooru says im sorry without saying it. soft pleasuring, orgasmic sex.

his fingers are so deep in your pussy while he’s sucking on your clit. he doesn’t look at you when you cum because he feels like he doesn’t deserve to see it.

you’re begging him to look at you after he’s done fingering you so you can kiss him with your taste this lingering oh his tongue

fucks you in a matting press because when it’s slow and he’s thrusting it all in.... i don’t think he’s seen you twitch and drool so much

tooru is there to pleasure you and when he sees you cry out of the pleasure you know he’ll be forgiven when it’s over

aftercare is even better

he doesn’t make you do anything

he presses you, gives you kisses and over all will apologize verbally when you’re slowly falling asleep in his arms

[witchcraft-in-wonderland]

Sweet Dreams (Pt.1)

-------------------------

Living in a country constantly on the verge of war with dead people and magic users wasnt exactly fun. Especially if you happened to be able to use magic.

So of course, Logan had never been outside before. It wasnt safe for a boy who could make things behave in ways they shouldn't. So he stayed home while his family went out.

But such a sheltered life was never meant to last. Logan woke up late one night to the smell of something rancid, only to notice two figures dragging something away from the house. He rushed down the stairs, staying close to the walls to make as little noise as possible.

"Check the house for anymore survivors, leave nothing, burn it to the ground if you have to," Logan froze at the sound of raspy voices.

"Why this house? No one here seems to be of importance," said another voice, this one sounding more feminine than the first.

"The general says theres something hiding here, we need to find it," the first voice spoke up again. It took the words a moment to register in Logan's head, but by the time they had, footsteps were already coming up the stairs.

Logan rushed to the nearest window, tearing the mesh out as quickly as he could manage and fleeing through it. His legs stung from the impact of the ground, but he didnt stop running.

He'd been going for what felt like hours before he finally collapsed. His breathing was heavy, had he been wearing his binder at the time he was sure he wouldve broken a rib.

"Nonono get up-" Logan whispered to himself, trying desperately to push himself back upright. It felt like someone had tried to tranquilize him, everything felt numb.

He tried again.

And again.

And again.

And then the world went pitch black.

Logan woke up a long while later, laying on a bed somewhere he didnt recognize. He tried to sit up, but even the thought of movement made his limbs feel exhausted.

"You were out for a very long time, I was beginning to think you weren't going to wake up," said a voice. Logan's eyes darted around for the source of the voice.

There was a man sitting at a table across from him, with yellow eyes, and scales that ran down the left side of his face.

"Who are y-" the man shoved something into Logan's mouth as he opened it. It tasted sweet, like honey and fruit.

"My name is Janus, this is the house of myself and my husband Virgil, for now that is all you need to know," Janus said calmly.

"Why am I here." Logan said, eyes darting around the room like a cats in search of something he could use as a weapon.

"Because you were passed out in the middle of the woods with an undead scout party heading straight for you, would you rather I'd left you there?" Janus said, raising an eyebrow.

Logan lay there for a moment before finally shaking his head.

"How long has it been?" Logan said, trying to sit up again before being held back down by Janus.

"Nearly two weeks, I cant imagine what you were doing that couldve caused such an issue but you're certainly not going out any time soon," Janus said, finally letting go of Logan's shoulders.

"There was a fire, I heard them mentioning a fire, and there was-" Logan stopped, the memory of the undead scouts dragging what looked to be two bodies away from the house.

"They took your parents, didnt they," Janus said. Logan only nodded in response.

"Jaaaaaaannnnn, dinners readyyyy, are you gonna eat or stare at a dead kid for another hour!" A voice called from another room.

"Hes not dead!" Janus called.

"I'll help you up, and you're not to out pressure on those legs for as long as you can help it. If I didnt know any better I'd say you broke both of them," Janus said, holding his arms out for Logan to grab ahold of. Now that Logan was also standing it was much clearer how much taller he was.

As Logan allowed himself to be guided to the next room he 2as struck with an odd realization of his surroundings. The walls, rather than be made of stone or refined wood, were simply made of uncut bark, almost as if they'd been inside of a tree. Upon closer inspection there were things crawling in and out of holes in the walls such as mice, bugs, and a few reptiles.

"Surprising hm? It's the perfect disguise in my opinion, does wonders for Virgil's mental state to, I'd never seen him happier than the day we set it all up," Janus said, smiling as he crossed the threshold into what looked to be the kitchen.

"You better not be talking about me behind my back darling," a man a little shorter than Logan turned from a stove and brandished a wooden spoon in Janus and Logan's direction. He was wearing a lilac colored hood and a black skirt, and, most notably, his eyes were covered by what looked to be white bandages.

"How do you-" Logan was about to ask about his eyes, but swallowed the question a few seconds in.

"Oh it's not that difficult," Virgil said, just then, a spectral cat leapt onto the table. Its fur seemed to be made of stars, and it was almost completely transparent, save for the purple and blue hue that allowed its shape to be seen.

"Ah ah ah! Off the table Priscilla." Janus said, the cat swishes its tail and leapt off and trotted over to Virgil again, rubbing her face along his legs. Janus helped Logan into his seat as Virgil set a few plates of food on the table.

"And I'm assuming you wear a binder, yes?" Virgil said, looking up at Logan. Logan nodded, raising an eyebrow slightly.

"Your chest movements, I breathe slower in mine to, makes me feel less nervous about my ribs," Virgil said, laughing slightly.

"And dont worry about going into town for one, I'm nearly finished stitching up a replacement," Janus said, already cutting in to the chicken on his plate.

"So can I get a real explanation as to why I'm here? If I've been unconscious for two weeks why didnt you just bury me," Logan said, crossing his arms and staring down at the plate in front of him.

"We knew you werent really dead, and being unconscious in the woods certainly wasnt going to keep it that way- not with him running around," Virgil said, a note of disdain punctuating the sentence.

"Who?" Logan said, now to busy with the conversation to remember that he didnt want to eat anymore of the food being offered to him.

Janus let out a sigh as he began to speak. "There is. . . A prince. . . Who wonders about the woods, the undead and mortal realms both fear his power, no ones ever seen his eyes, those that have can rarely describe them-" Virgil gave a noticable shudder "-and rarely does anyone without magic live to give warning, Virgil and I barely escaped him with our lives," Janus finished. Priscilla, no doubt in an attempt to reach the food again under the guise of comfort, had situated herself in Virgil's lap.

"You mean theres something worse than the undead out here?" Logan said, now chewing on the neckline of his shirt out of distress.

"He doesnt sound scary at first, he gave himself a mortal name, so he could pretend he was harmless," Virgil said, running a hand through Priscilla's fur.

"He calls himself Remy, it might sound like an ordinary common name to you, but to people like us, it's a death sentence," Janus said.

"Well how do I avoid him then?" Logan said.

Janus shook his head "I can tell you how to identify him, but you'd have to be the luckiest mortal on earth if you wanted to get away from him," Janus said.

He cleared his throat before continuing "he hides his eyes behind sunglasses, and he's got silver claws on his fingers, one scratch from those and you'll be dead in a matter of seconds," he said, Logan tried sketching this all out in his head.

"And he wears a leather jacket, he stole it from his first victim, it's like you humans wearing aminal skins, you can still smell the blood," Janus said.

"Well- that. . . Doesnt sound pleasing. . ." Logan said, fidgeting with the hem of his shirt now. Whoever Remy was, Logan pleaded desperately that he'd never have to meet him.

----------------------------------------------

Tag list:

@nerosdayinhell

@meowthefluffy

@willowaudreykeyes

@cemmy

@thecolorfulolive

@melodiread

@frawkeye

@frog-candy-bee

@thefivecalls

@teamplutoforlife

@pricklyfish777

[aspiestvmusings]

ZEP 109 ANALYSIS

SOME THOUGHTS on 

ZOEY’S EXTRAORDINARY PLAYLIST episode 1x09: 

SPOILERS, BELOW: 

There is a lot that I don’t understand 100% about what the show is trying to do... with Max “pushing* Zoey for answers to his confession of love” & his reaction to her answer about whether he should take the job offer...or even why they keep saying there’s a deep bond between Z & S, when all they’ve established is that they talked to each other about losing their dads & are physically attracted to each other. Or even why Zoey says that they kissed, when in reality he kissed her. Or Simon’s behaviour...which I don’t think is ONLY just about not dealing with his grief...and all that. 

 * I don’t see it as him pushing her or demanding answers or anything like that. But this is the sense many get, hence I used this word 

I hear the showrunner & the characters talk about a “love triangle”, yet I don’t see one (just confused, grieving people). I hear them talk about a deep emotional bond between Z&S, and yet I don’t see it on screen. I see a pretty shallow connection due to their dads - “grief bond” with no actual deeper connection. And though I personally don’t “feel” that they actually feel attraction to the other, I’m willing to admit that perhaps each truly thinks they do...and actually find the other attractive. But nonetheless the story, to me, has clearly been told in a way that showcases the differences of the two men in her life. 

One thing that kinda supports my theories is that while we & Zoey have heard Max sing her actual “love songs” (revealing that the connection they have is love, friendship, romance), then Simon’s “heart songs” have been mostly related to his grief (”Should I stay or should I go” is kinda an exception here). Meaning their connection is based on that, and his grief is what she’s supposed to help him with. All S’s songs have been about his inability to deal with the loss of his dad, and the problems in his life & relationship that have come from this. Which is why I’m still a bit confused why the show is calling it a love triangle, when it doesn’t really seem to be. 

Since they all sing their innermost thoughts, and the songs are related to the feelings they have, and connected to the “problem” Zoey is supposed to help them with, then for Simon that seems to be “everything grief related” (he’s still not dealing with the loss, and it affected his relationship with Jessica..etc)...and I don’t understand why Zoey isn’t more actively helping him with that...instead focusing on “do I possibly have romantic feelings for the man?”, when she & Mo established that if she doesn’t help the person who she hears sing with their problem... that’s not good. I think THIS is the thing that has “confused” me. (but we all know network shows love their love triangles and such drama, so they have to play it like that..). So I really hope that in the coming eps we will see Z. help S. deal with his grief (she has her family, Mo & Max...who help her, but S. doesn’t seem to have any support system...) and “fix him”.

Though there was not much Max or Z/M in this episode, there were a few scenes. The elevator scene & the “what do you think I should do?” scene. And we could see Max is practicing social distancing from Zoey. Because no matter how much he cares about her, and proved he’s a good friend by checking up on her & giving her great advice regarding her dad in last weeks episode, he really was hurt by her. 

Also...one way he can minimize Zoey “reading his mind” is by removing himself from the same room. And since he doesn’t consider her knowing his secret thoughts fair if he can’t hear/know hers, then one effective way to prevent that from happening is not being around her. Maybe he doesn’t want her to hear that despite acting “hurt” he can’t “hate” her. Maybe he doesn’t want her to hear him sing about being hearbroken. Maybe.... In short: minimizing their contact might be related to something as simple as just trying to avoid her knowing his secret feelings... (the outer expressions & inner thoughts not matching)

As to Max saying that she didn’t give him the right answer might’ve been about something else. And though we saw his facial expression change as she was saying that “The Zoey who sang a love song to him will miss sitting across him at the office, but would never stop him going after what he wants”, I think his answer might’ve been about her asking “Was this the right answer?” Cause that seemed to be the thing that made him make his choice. 

Because that implies she was not being 100% honest with him, and instead giving him the answer she thought he wanted to hear. (we saw her do the same with Simon. First asking for his thoughts on the kiss, before revealing her thoughts...so she could base her choise on the other persons choice) It kinda does imply that she still doesnt know how she feels, and isn’t doing what she herself wants. Instead trying to guess what he think she wants her to say. Which is not what Max wants her to do. He wants her to be sure of her choice. Make her own choices. (and unlike many viewers seem to think... I don’t think he’s actually pressuring  her, or demanding a love confession as a response to his own. I see it as him listing the “facts” (options), and asking her for her take on it all.

I kinda think he made his decision because she asked “was this the answer you wanted?” more than anything else. Because this tells him that she doesn’t know what she wants. Though her answer “as the Zoey who sang that she is his...romantically” being so “not personal” might’ve also played a part.   And there’s another plot in this episode that actually gives us a hint what the whole “Max promoted to 6th floor” thing is about. 

                     < Edited for clarity: As said, I think her adding “was that the answer you wanted to hear” sealed the deal. But... if we look at what Ava told him on the 6th floor on that Saturday, then he was also looking for a different answer in general. An honest answer, and that she’s had some clarity about her feelings (and them) and all that. And also... some indication of a possible future possibility of them. 

But... she have him no such answer (or hope), she included her answers as her boss, and friend, but left out the answer as “a romantic possibility”. (cause based on those 1x08 songs all Max knows is that she has feelings for 2 men & he’s one of the possibilities...yet she’s not showing any indication that she’s leaning towards the possibility of them M/Z.) And I think the order of her answer matters, too. She first replies as his boss, then his friend (and completely leaving out the third pole...which they both know based on the heart song is a role she has, because the songs reveal the persons secret inner feelings). And they’ve been friends for so long, but she’s been his boss for just a short time. So to prioritize that role over friends...gotta hurt, too. And in general her reply was centered around work and work hours - she’ll miss sitting across from him in the office, not that she’ll miss their friends movie nights...

So he’s gotta make a move... instead of just waiting for something that’s never gonna happen.  Cause we might know/see more, but all he knows is the little she’s shared with him. So to his knowledge the heart song is the ONLY indication she’s even considering “them”. He is a romantic at heart, and he “put himself out there”, yet she’s not given him any real answers (all the things she said in 1x07 that he then understood as “she just needs time because of her dad thing, and everything else” and accepted as we saw based on the 1x07 end elevator scene, and was willing to wait and give her space, became “untruths” in his eyes in next episode. So even if she spoke the truth then, he doesn’t believe those words anymore, so for him she has no clarity on the whole thing, and she’s not given him any “hope” or “answers”.)  Edited for clarity />

Unless my other hunch is correct... That Ava is on a spy mission, and the whole recruiting thing is a plan related to the competition for a piece of code between 4th Floor & 6th Floor that is happening in the next episode.  Cause there are just to many coincidences: she approaches him on a day when the 4th Floor boss is gone (on a tech conference...which she might know because of the glitch in the watch software that shared everyones calendar events with everyone else...). And it was just luck that this followed an even where Max showed that he’s good at thinking on his feet (he actually did save the pitch by joining Zoey)  And we learned his past good work has also been noticed: the escape room.  This job offer also happens just before the company is about to get an important “job”. Too many coincidences. 

And maybe Zoey/we are all wrong, and Joan & Leif both taking that same day off doesn’t mean they’re together, but that Leif is working on another side-project. We’ve seen his sketchy moves with Joan. We know he wanted the job Zoey got. So how do you “hurt” your competitor? You tear her team apart. It could be that Leif is behind this transfer. Cause last episode also told us that everyone in the office are actually very aware of what’s going on between Max & Zoey (interrupting them, hearing their talks & noticing that they’re not hanging out as much lately...which even Simon noticed. So he might’ve overheard them OR he saw S/Z kiss.). So the timing was also good cause IF there would be truth in this then Leif would know the best frends are going through a rough patch, so it was worth to take the gamble (he maybe couldn’t be 100% sure Max wold take the offer, but he might’ve been quite certain)

So much for wild theories.... (This one is topped only by Simon being behind the transfer...to eliminate his competition... when it comes to Zoey. Which I don’t think is true, but oh....what drama it would allow to be written...where he’s not aware that she can hear his secret thoughts & hence will find out. I would want this to be true ONLY for that scene) And though it’s 95% certain that both J & L “missing from the office” at the same day/time is no coincidence (read: they were together...which only makes me want to know more...is Leif playing her because he knows she wrote the peer review or ...not), and everything implies that Joan could not just “end it”, I sometimes enjoy coming up with wild/fun theories...

One thing that maybe supports this theory of mine is the actors (Skyler Astin, who playes Max) comment that he started to call the 6th floor DRK POINT... which if we follow the SPRQ POINT logic gives us “DARK POINT” instead of “SPARK POINT”...meaning there is something sketchy going on. 

And obviously he’s not gonna stay on the 6th floor, so something has to happen for him to return/be returned. Either it’s a scham, or someone (Joan, The Team, Zoey) “fight for him” & get him to return to the 4th Floor.  

Also..the whole Max/Aca convo in the dark 6th floor parallels his “romantic storyline with Zoey”: 

Max: I hadn’t really planned on making a move. Things are pretty fine for me on the 4th Floor.

Ava: Are they? Or are you stuck treading water? Waiting for something to happen that maybe never will? 

Again...if we apply these words to the M/Z situation, then it fits, too. He’s “fine” with how things are going with them. And then the scary boss lady makes him question if he really is OK with it. Or is he stuck...waiting for something to happen between them... (for Z. to admit her feelings..etc) ...that may never happen... and as a romantic at heart... he needs to know if there’s a future possibility...

The whole 1x09 Z & S plot was a shortened version of what’s been happening between Z & M in several past episodes. Zoey was reacting to Simon not giving her a clear answer. It actually tells us a lot about Z&M, and parallels that story. 

Z: We have a chemistry & a bond that is undeniable. I guess I was hoping that after the kiss you’d have some clarity about all of it.  Clarity you still don’t have, and maybe never will. So... I have to make a change instead of just sitting around and waiting & hoping for something to happen. So this is me saying to you..officially... I can’t, and I won’t do this anymore. 

If we apply this to the other duo, then the parallrels are obvious. What Zoey was feeling (about Simon’s answers) is exactly what/how Max has been feeling  about her answers to him. And the whole quote/dialogue by Zoey summarizes the other pairings story perfectly: Instead of clear answers Max has gotten vague half-truths from Zoey. If we change a few words/details (”after the kiss” = “after the flash-mob”, then this fits them, too). 

And just like Zoey claims she can’t just wait for Simon to have clarity (which he can’t cause he’s not letting himself go through the stages of grief propely..etc) about his feelings,  while hoping something to happen, same applies to Max decision in this episode. His talk with the 6th floor boss tells us that this could’ve been a speech given from Max to Zoey. Cause this is exactly what he’s done by taking the job offer. He can’t just sit around waiting for her to catch up/for something to happen. This is him saying “no mo’” 

Both for his & her’s sake. Cause he really needs her to be true to her words, and be 100% honest with him. Tell him how she feels. And he really does “deserve” an answer, not sort-of-answers (avoiding giving him a clear answer...no matter what it is). And she needs to make up her mind on her own, and do what she wants, not what she thinks she should do in his opinion. He wants her to choose on her own...without telling her what she has to do. He has shown her his cards (love confession via flash mob, saying that he’d choose love over lust...but she needs to make her own choice), and now it’s her turn. 

This show is known for doing parallel stories. The work related story paralllels the personal storyline of the episode. In 1x08 there was a “glitch” in the watch program & a “glitch” in Zoey’s powers. And trying to fix them led to new issues arising. In 1x08 we heard about Tobin & Leifs SPELLaversary tradition..and in the end Leif sang "I put a SPELL on you” to Joan. And so on... 

This all leads me to a theory I've had about a coming song/dance number, and this weeks episode told me what the song has to be...IMO. To “solve” all this Zoey has to do a surprise flash-mob performance for Max. To Christina Aguilera’s “What a girl wants”, because if I look at the story so far, then those lyrics summarize the situation (whole s1 arc) almost perfectly. And since there have been kind-of spoilery rumours about another “heart song with a twist” happening later in S1, it matches. Just like the 1x06 flash-mob was real., so will be this one. And this time its not Zoey thinking that Max is just singing her his heart-song (it’s not real), now Max will think that Zoey’s “glitching” again... until he realizes that its real. 

As for Simon... I hope the show is not gonna go with the message: “Since he didn’t mean to do it then that makes it ok that he hurt his fiancee, and his grief-buddy" Even IF it really was all unintentional & he’s behaviour is all due to grief, that doesn’t make it OK to go to her house late at night without telling your life partner, it doesn’t make it OK to kiss her (when you’re still engaged)  just because she gave you signals that she’s into you... Nope... he can’t take that back. And him being a “good guy, who is just a mess” doesn’t make it  OK. 

But... I am not so sure Simon’s not sketchy. I mean... he & Jessica clearly had problems before he ever got to SPRQ POINT. She seemed to want to help him, but didn’t really get him. He didn’t really confide in her, and really let her in on his feelings. Also... Jessica’s jealousy (the whole Zoey) thing could very well have roots somewhere... so perhaps this isn’t the first time he’s pursued other women, while being in a relationship? Of course it’s possible Jessica simply is/was jealous by nature, but maybe she has a reason/experience from past?  

As for S & Z: their whole connection in built on a lie. He thinks she actually gets him, when that’s not true - she knows about his “grief” only thanks to her superpower. And you can’t really build a lasting relationship on “lies”... even if there is a connection (shared grief experience) that came AFTER the initial lie. Just think about when/if Simon finds out how/why it all began... that’s not gonna go as well as Max finding out about the games she played with him (that unnecessarily hurt Autumn in the end)...

So there are two big things they can play with in the future that will help create the big drama they love - S. finding out that it all started because of Z’s superpower (she cheated in the game) and not because she could emotionally connect on her own. And in a nearer future Max finding out about the 1x08 Z/S kiss. Which has to come from her, directly, if she plans to stay true to her promise to be completely honest with him. And third could be S. finding out about the powers. (part of me thinks it should happen, part of me thinks it shouldn’t happen in S1)

Either way... we know that there are going to be scenes/moments (heart songs) from/with both of the men. Whether these are “love songs” or “heartbreak songs” or “angry songs” or... something other... we don’t know for sure..yet. 

But we do know that there are ONLY THREE EPISODES left of this  season. 1x10 on April 19th, 1x11 on April 26th & 1x12 Finale on May 3rd. And the finale brings us a very special “heart song” from/with one of the two men. So there are clear sings that by/in the S1 finale the show will “commit” to one of the ships. And since we have small bits & pieces about the coming eps & finale, we can put together a part of the puzzle already. And though it seems that the Finale will sadly be when Zoey says goodbye to her dad, there seems to be lot more going on. Work stuff/Team song, guest appearances by some past characters, Zoey revealing her truths and... more....

THE END 

[mousehole5000]

more tgcf chapters 143-173 lets goooooo

PEI MING BOO HISS except actually okay he’s mostly funny i think but still boo hiss

“hey who’s this guy who’s really pissed at you?” “oh thats my sword. i broke it.” alright then!

i think i need to go back and reread the banyue pass arc bc im still confused as to whats going on with banyue and pei su

“Banyue dropped from the sky with two pots raised. Without a word, she plummeted with the mouths of the pots facing down, trapping and detaining the shocked Ming’guang and the roaring Ke Mo within.” - THATS MY GIRL

“It must be known that, to heavenly officials, it certainly was more than natural for kingdoms of the mortal realm to fight and annihilate one another; the acts of these plays progressing on endlessly. But when it came their own turn, it was often hard to let things go. If one must stand in the same court as the one who annihilated their own kingdom, and that man cavorted in the heavens, exceedingly flashy, then it must be vexing.” - hmmmm!!

“I’ve spoken too many words in this lifetime. What are you referring to?” - okay to be fair thats a mood

okay its nice to get some pei ming backstory and its funny that he and xie lian are bonding but also still whenever pei ming interacts with a female character my hackles rise like a cat lol

“Xie Lian watched as Banyue thought really hard before cheerfully pulling out a few long, wine-red scorpion-snakes, and putting them into the bubbling pot.” - THATS MY GIRL

“Although “smell” was something colourless and formless, the instant Banyue removed the pot cover, it was as if some mysterious physical object had twisted all the air around the mouth of that pot. The group stared at the sight within the pot for a long time. Their pupils reflected an endless, bottomless darkness; like it could pull them into the abyss. No words could describe the sentiment expressed within their eyes. A moment later, Xie Lian patted Banyue’s shoulder and gave a thumbs-up.” - like father-figure like daughter-figure. amazing.

“However, what if one day mortals discovered something completely new that ran faster than horses? Then, when this new invention overtook horses, worshippers of this heavenly official who controlled horses would inevitably decrease. Such heavenly officials, flashing by like shooting stars, made up the majority of the heavens.” - obsessed with this, genuinely. life and change. worship and its purpose. my religious studies diploma on my wall is screaming at me rn. ALSO i am once again thinking about celebrities

“...” It was only then that Pei Ming seemed to notice, and started to contemplate this question. A moment later, he answered, “A habit. In a dark, creepy place like this, isn’t it normal to hold women in your arms, to comfort them and calm their fears?” “I’m sorry, but I wasn’t scared,” Banyue said.” - BANYUE I LOVE YOU. I MISSED YOU SO MUCH. god this takes me back to every college party i ever went to

LING WEN BACKSTORY????? shoeseller chosen for godhood bc she wrote a political essay and got arrested...... and now she’s face to face with the official who appointed her..... do go on.....

“Ling Wen laughed out loud, seeming to be enraged, and her voice dropped. “Very well! You said I couldn’t reach that high. Then, might I ask you: had the prominence of the Palace of Jing Wen at its peak ever reached even the knees of my Palace of Ling Wen??” - GET HIM!!!! BOO HISS JING WEN

“Compared to you, I’m not that bad,” Ling Wen said. “You’d personally order me to stay in the Palace of Jing Wen until midnight, then turn around and say I shamelessly hang around ‘til late to harass you. Words murder without form; I was much nicer responding with blatant violence.” - ling wen im love you..... also this bit... feels Real

BLOOD RAIN BLOOD RAIN BLOOD RAIN!! FLOWER PETALS TRANSFORMATION!!! see hua cheng? look as how cool it can be when you leave the story for a little while!! bc then you get to return and make an entrance!!

“Not only can you bring forth bloody rain, you can also make flowers shower. I didn’t know that. How fun!” - cute!! and in that moment we were all xie lian

“Everyone was stunned by his deed, and Ling Wen arduously gave him a thumbs-up. ”Ol’ Pei, what a man!” Pei Ming gritted his teeth. “WELCOME!” - aww three two tumors buddies!!

okay yin yu is here and xie lian did the equivalent of asking someone when the baby is due only to find out theyre not pregnant at all. then rong guang taunts yin yu and no one says anything. i do love the amount of awkward moments in this book tbh sometimes there are no words.

“All around was sand and mud crushing at him, exceedingly suffocating. The sand and mud was also moving endlessly; the feeling was like he was swallowed into the stomach of a giant monster, and that monster had also eaten a bunch of other things besides him, tumbling everything in its stomach, trying to digest” - ooooh creepy!!! the red string thing... is cute.... also xie lian being able to see hua cheng’s butterfly vision by looking directly into his eye is kinda cool. and obviously homoerotic.

“Are lower-ranked heavenly officials below other people?” Quan Yizhen asked. “No,” Yin Yu replied. Were they not? It was obvious that he himself didn’t believe in his own words, and Quan Yizhen also noticed. A good while later, he said bluntly, “I don’t like it here.” Yin Yu said nothing.” - im having emotions. and then yin yu also saying he doesnt like it there either.... also idk how this scene is going to play out but as much as im enjoying quan yizhen being an icon i can also possibly see how yin yu could eventually get to the point of “i am tired of being nice. i do just want to go apeshit” even if he really cares about qyz. it happens </3

“Indeed,” Hua Cheng said. “Half a year later when Quan Yizhen actually ascends, he won’t find it so funny anymore.” “Can we watch that part too?” Xie Lian asked. “We can. Hold on,” Hua Cheng replied.” - quan yizhen king of taking things literally. also why did this turn into hualian having a movie night

jian yu seems like the kind of asshole who would purposely give someone regular soda when they specifically asked for diet soda. god yin yu is really having a bad day i really feel for him in the whole situation with the brocade immortal

awww okay at least jian yu tried to take responsibility. im still mad at him tho that was objectively a terrible idea. god this whole situation sucked :(

“Rocks and earth crushed at them from all around, forcing their bodies to press tightly against one another, their faces brushing, their ears warm. Although it wasn’t the right time, a thought flashed through Xie Lian’s mind: “‘To die buried together’ doesn’t feel so bad.” - okay... im kind of emotional.... gay people....

okay obviously these murals and the prince of wuyong have some connection (im guessing pretty direct) to xie lian and are important but everytime they start analyzing one i feel like im back in art history class fhadskfhskjdhf not that thats a bad thing!! i liked art history a lot tbh

“Don’t worry, they’re not human,” Hua Cheng said. “It’s precisely because they’re not human that we have to worry, alright….” Xie Lian thought.” - goth ghost bf problems

xie lian: well, there is one person i trust more than anyone else, someone who’s first in my mind hua cheng, oblivious: oh :/ xie lian, also oblivious: what? hua cheng: you shouldnt trust so easily its dangerous xie lian: oh. haha. yeah. well. wanna,,, know who it is? hua cheng: its :) fine :) it :) doesnt :) matter :) but of course you can tell me if you want to gege xie lian, internally: well now ive made it weird hua cheng, 5 minutes later: actually i need you to tell me. right now. its totally for your security me: gay people smh

“As they suspected, he had been captured by Qi Rong. Although no one was bound by ropes, there were balls of greasily green ghost fires hovering over every one of their heads.” - completely off track but anybody else remember the great green globs of greasy grimy gopher guts song

“Could there actually come a day when Qi Rong was embarrassed that someone might see the manner in which he ate? Before Xuan Ji entered, she put Guzi down. Guzi, ta-ta-ta, ran in, rushing straight to Qi Rong’s side. But when he saw him, he pointed his finger. He cried, “Dad is eating bad things in secret again!” “I’m not!” Qi Rong retaliated.” SCREAM IS QI RONG LEARNING THE POWER OF LOVE NOOOO also god that poor man whose body he has im starting to doubt if he’ll ever be free jimmy novak flashbacks

everytime we get another ghost king power somewhere someone should be writing hua cheng the cyborg bf in a high tech futuristic au i think thats the only other potential setting that could truly capture this wild ride

“In truth, throughout history, there was no man in the world who didn’t love bragging. A breeze could blow the handkerchief of a brothel girl into a man’s hand, and he would turn around and say the most beautiful of renowned escorts had fallen in love with him; holding shoes and wiping benches for the emperor’s mistress’s uncle’s grandson’s cousin’s mistress would for sure become him being an important administrator at the residence of royal relatives, raising his status. Thus, men who didn’t brag were a rare species.” - SCREAM this is going in my favorite tgcf quotes folder god... mxtx come here let me shake your hand

read the story of rain master yushi huang’s ascension. why am i crying. also this bit im crying again me with my stuffed animals “Thus, while Yushi Huang was cultivating at the Temple of Yulong, every time when she went to seek water and passed that door, she would rub the head of that ox. The door knocker soaked in her essence of life, and when the Rain Master ascended, the ox ascended with her.”

okay thats enough for now i have 7 more chapters to book 4!!! woo!!!

[verannaca]

f2

Major Frozen 2 Spoilers Below!

You’d never be able to tell by reading this that I’m a whole-ass adult, AND a writer :’)

HERE’S SOME THOUGHT BLURBS

• Vuelie smacked with nostalgia holy sHIT • Pretty snowflakes proves this movie is Frozen • BABY ANNA • "wait, what?" • baby anna with attitude • snuggles • iduna/ERW has an amazing voice?? • "you'll be drowned" foreshadowing?? • Elsa freezes the railing and just awkwardly leaves it?? a queen • ANNNAAA • Anna and Olaf • Olaf being poetic?? • poor sweet anna isnt lonely anymore :') • SOOMMEE THINGS NEVER CHANGE this was catchy as heck • "holding on tight to you" that kristanna twirl SENT ME • "irredeemable monster" "greatest mistake of your life" "WOULDNT EVEN KISS YOU" • AURORA • Kristoff getting prepared to spend a LONG time in that room, if u know what im saying ;;;))) • bedtime snuggles and it's now canon that EA call each other "Darling" • anna representing women who drool n snore, and elsas a FUCKING MOUTH BREATHER • elsa's grumpy face >:(      (she’s so cute what the heck) • INTO THE UNKNOOOWWNNNN ft aurora • uh oh kingdom's in danger again THANKSELSA • KA helping the citizens as a true Queen and King would (sPOILERS) • "youve been hearing this voice and u didnt think to tell me" the offence is beautiful • elsa's pouty hesitation before she tells anna what happened • ELSA'S FACE the entire time KA & Olaf plan to go with her on the adventure, she was NOT having any of it • olaf being annoying for x minutes straight • anna ready to get dicked up on a sleigh ride even tho her sis is sleeping 5 feet away from her lmao MOOD • "crazy? you didnt say i was crazy - you think im c R A Z Y?" HER FACE SENT ME • kristoff bumbling everything RIP • aurora is back • elsa runs in heels through rocky land and somehow doesnt break her ankles, 10/10 (i mean anna did the same but it’s expected of her lmao) • olaf being annoying pt2 (sorry, he’s cute ig) • anna getting mad at the mist • anna walking towards the cliff to view the dam and looking like an autumn goddess • sven is a terrible wingman • "WE WILL DIE" good job kristoff • elsa not caring about anna's worry • olaf had a song here i think?? • WIND • elsa looks good when messy idc idc • "THAT'S MY SISTER" that's an outtake line from Frozen!!!! • surprise statues • anna rips a sword out of ice with her bare hands n no one thinks anything of it • northuldra ppl • honeymaren eyefucking elsa (we see u) • olaf's funniest scene lmao • "one with power, and one powerless" ANNAS FACE OF OFFENCE HAHAHAHA IT'S OKAY BB YOU HAVE THE POWER OF LOVE • "oh, anna" oh mattias, we feel u • fire spirit • ANNA COUGHING • BRUNNIIIIIII • bruni & elsa head tilts • "they're all looking at us, arent they" yes elsa because ur talking to a fucking salamander • anna gets mad cuz elsa gets mad cuz anna ran into fire cuz elsa ran into fire • iduna was northuldra (neat) • vuelie but different??? • kristoff made a friend!! • insecure anna + a mutual lacking communication = :( • a sad failed proposal • A SHIPWRECK¿? • this is v dark for disney holy shi • the horror in elsa's voice "what were they doing in the dark sea?!" • they watch their parent's final moments • the horror in iduna's voice "the waves are too high" • this is a kid's movie, yes? • elsa flees, anna follows • THE GUILT ohmygosh poor elsa :( • anna tries v hard, but i can only imagine her own agony??? she's tryna take care of elsa but who's taking care of anna?? :(((( • elsa becomes manipulative?? JUST EXPLAIN THAT IT'S DANGEROUS AND REQUIRES MAGIC • elsa does the thing • anna and olaf are v angry (same) • anna loses her cloak & shows her beautiful jacket?? thank u anna • DARK SEA • elsa battles the ocean that swallowed her parents • Nokk tries to drown her?? dragging her through the water by her hand was INTENSE • i know she doesnt get cold n thats fine but damn homegirl must REALLY workout at home (the shoulders prove it) but she swam for how long and didn't lose energy??? • SHOW YOURSELF I CRIED • the ice was so beautiful and she looked so free n happy, loose hair n no shoes • the song was amazing holy heck • IDUNA WAS THE SIREN, I CALLED IT, HELLO THANK U • elsa's literally like "ok boomer" at her grandfather who's an ass • she goes too far into ahtohallen • inappropriate but ohmygod the ice detail on her skin when she was freezing was crazy??? her hair got whiter n all that BUT THE SNOWFLAKES ON HER SKIN, that was unbelievable • surprise surprise old white guy in power kills innocent poc • elsa freezes like anna did, cuz anna was frozen and elsa is frozen 2 (heh) • back to the cave with anna and olaf • anna knows what has to be done to set things right because she’s the hero and always has to make the painful sacrifices • anna sets off to do whats right but OLAF • rip olaf • anna sits in the cold ALL FUCKING NIGHT DID ANYONE ELSE NOTICE THAT, I AM NOT OKAY • the next right thing B R O K E me. kbell captures such agony so beautifully ohmygod, it was incredible. easily the best song in the franchise. • "SO I'LL WALK THROUGH THIS NIGHT, stumbling blindly towards the light" her voice • anna finds her courage to leave the cave • "when it's clear that everything will NEVER BE THE SAME AGAIN" CAN YOU HEAR ME SOBBING AT THE ABSOLUTE ANGUISH IN HER VOICE • this woman has lost everything and SHES STILL GOING, YES ANNA, GO • giants!!! • anna mimicking the behaviour she was against for most of the movie • "I'M HERE, WHAT DO YOU NEED?" this is so important • no questions asked, this is what's happening, kristoff is the real mvp • mattias lets anna destroy the dam • anna becomes suicidal?????? girl stop i- • the dam falls • ANNA ALMOST FALLS- • wait mattias has her • and kristoff has her!! • and she looks ready to keep crying now that the adrenalin is gone • ELSA THAWS but does she REALLY do the right thing??? idk i think she should've let the wave destroy whatever was in its path, otherwise whats the point? wouldve had better symbolism • the Northuldra people are free and happy but poor anna is still sad :( idk why people were saying she got over elsas death too quickly when homegirl was never gonna smile again • "i'm sorry i left you behind. i was just so desperate to protect her." • "it's okay. my love is not fragile." • anna tries to continue on, imagine what was going through her head AHHH • wait there she is • e l s a • on a horse • anna slides down the cliffside, elsa slides off that horse in a v godly manner • ANNA REPRESENTS WOMEN WHO UGLY CRY, THANK U ANNA • elsa is lowkey emotionless but honestly do we expect anything else from her by this point? (no shade hahahaha) • "a bridge has two sides, and mother has two daughters" yes thank u for making anna important • so is elsa a ghost now orrrr • WHO CARES, KRISTANNA PROPOSAL • we were v robbed of that kiss tho • anna's squeal of pure joy when asked • sven representing all of us • "do u wanna build a snowman" bitch it's been like 16 years, ur a bit late but OKAY • olaf is back • GROUP HUG • honeymaren wants elsa to stay "because it's where she belongs" ;;;;)))))) • elsa realises anna would be a better queen • QUEEN ANNA • Q U E E N  A N N A • YESSSSSS • we're robbed of the coronation but that's fine ig • kristoff in fancy clothes??? • "i prefer you in leather anyway" so anna is a top, nice to know • olaf's comment on kristoff probably not being able to "last an hour" ;;;))))) not if annas a top LMAO STOP • mattias found his person, congrats • anna is the people's queen • a statue is revealed, baby iduna is v cute • elsa is in the forest with bruni n everyone else • friday is gamenight • elsa rides off into the sunset i guess?? • THE END • oh and olaf has an ending scene • "elsa DEAD" • "olaf DEAD" • "anna cries" • everyone cries

okay thanks for reading lmao bye

[ask-the-party-god]

Ask The Party God - Timeline

the pre-terezi-gang timeline post is here

height references over here

hi, im jade! everyones favorite party goddess and trans doggy girl~ but you already know that! if youre reading this, it means youre interested in learning more about my reality, because paradox space is fucking weird like that and you cant really be sure all the time

as far as im aware, everything up to the point where we beat the game happened without deviations from the alpha timeline? so this is what rose has talked about as a ‘terminal timeline’, or ‘post-canon’, or whatever the hell that is supposed to mean

we got to earth-c, and i settled in the troll kingdom because trolls are cool, dave and karkat were in the neighborhood, and the caverns are close by so i can visit rose and kanaya speedily as well! i still do have my old tower out on an island, with my workshop and garden, but i almost never sleep in it, too far away and isolated from everyone...

then one day i found this old active server in the furthest ring keeping tumblr active and i thought, hey, why not have some fun? ;D

as for the others...

my darling sis june egbert! she lives in the consort kingdom, but has been thinking about relocating elsewhere lately! she went through a rough patch right after the game, unsure of what to do and full of all sorts of doubts and questions, but shes doing a lot better nowadays! specially now that terezi is back, shes been a lot more peppy and hanging around with the lalondes particularly!

rose rose rose rose~ happily married to her wife kanaya, duh, but that doesnt make her any less of a flirty cutie! a while back she got really sick for a bit, and weve been keeping an eye on her just in case it happened again, but its been all good ever since! she helps kanaya at the caverns a bunch, which makes her schedule busy busy... and you didnt hear this from me, buuuut words out on the street that she and kanaya may be warming to the idea of having a kid! <3 well see how that goes!

one cool dude~ daves a little bit of a shut-in honestly! and honestly i dont blame him? he must be tired after all the timeline and time travel shenanigans, so he spends a good chunk of his time hanging out in his and karkats house! hes kind of awkward about opening up with feelings and stuff, and ive been trying to nudge him to be more open for a while! but with all the craziness thats been going down lately, and more people coming and going and getting together, hes starting to consider things he hadnt before~ hopefully, some specific someones? ;)

janey! my uh... ecto-mom, technically, although we see each other more like cousins than anything else! she still owns crockercorp, but ever since jasprose has been around, she has been spending a lot more time at home and just hanging out with her friends, which really, sounds a lot healthier than the big business thing she had going on a while back! she enjoys teaching me baking stuff, but doesnt have much patience for my decorating skills ;p

grandpa! and grandson technically, hehe, jakes kind of a weird case, hes a mixture of a shut-in, a celebrity and an adventurer! he can spend up to weeks at a time without leaving his manor, but then hell have full weeks of interviews and hiking, and thats not to say anything of when he and dirk put out another episode or two of their dumb comedy talkshow... hes often busy with stuff, but hes still a good pal and can clear his schedule in seconds if we need him for something!

one sweet nb dude! rox really is... something else, really! fun to tag along at a party, fun to chill at home playing games, fun to talk about more serious stuff and open up with him, he really is just solid as they come! hes been hanging out a lot more with june since she got out of her depressive slump, but sometimes i wonder if junebug finds weird to get flirty with roxy, considering im pretty sure we made out in front of her at some point or two... hehehe

dirk! if daves a bit of a shut-in, hes a shut-in times two, which is weird because youd think someone stuck in post-apocalyptic earth for so long would want to hang out more? not to say he DOESNT, though! hes around jake often enough, and keeps close to jane, roxy and dave specially! we dont see each other too often, but we HAVE been messing around with robots and planning out to upgrade our respective self-bots for funsies!

aradia! we only met briefly in dreams for the longest time, but i knew already that she was a riot! she came with terezis group after she finally found vriska, and seems pretty happy just... kind of... being around and watching shenanigans ensue! i actually dont know where she lives, but she drops by occasionally, because im apparently pretty ‘fun’... cant say i disagree ;)

sollux is blind, and not dead, and WILL kick you in the shins if you keep prying about how exactly he ended up like that, which is fair enough! he spends a good chunk of his time with aradia, and im not sure if theyre dating or not...? but hes been around the other trolls a bunch! specially kanaya, apparently theyre good friends that go way back! i guess they both DO style their hair similarly, with the side spike thingies...

the other half of the dave-kat duo! swooooon~ really though, i cant remember the last time i said “dave” or “karkat” without talking about the other shortly after... buuut theyre just roomies, and hell get awkward and grumpy if you even so slightly IMPLY otherwise, despite the fact everyone knows they fall asleep leaning against each other during friday movie night! roooolling my eyes~ with the rest of the living trolls having arrived, hes been a lot more willing to go outside, which im glad for! its healthy to get some fresh air from time to time, and specially hang out with friends!

oh-la-la, miss maryam-lalonde herself! kanayas the matriarch of the caverns, and quite the busy gal, having taken it upon herself to supervise her entire species reproduction and well-being... in my opinion, she needs a good vacation from time to time, and to be less of a workaholic! >:o ive been helping her occasionally in the caverns, and as of late weve begun trying to mess around with ectobiology for some troll-human crossing experiments with... not good results so far... but hey, rome wasnt built in a day!

terezis back, yes! after spending YEARS out there looking for vriska, she managed to find her and come back, the madwoman! personally im not sure why anyone would go to such lengths for... her... but also, its not my bond, not my place to speak, she obviously really loves her a bunch! with vriska no longer lost in the middle of the furthest ring, shes started to catch up with everything going on with earth-c, and i think shes really going to like being around! specially with how much june and the rest have missed her ;)

troublemaker extraordinaire herself! shes... well, shes vriska, im pretty sure she stole that eyepatch from sollux? so you just know she up to no good already >:/ speaking of her eyepatch, im not sure WHY shes wearing it? whatever kinda wound she got, she doesnt like mentioning it, despite bragging about defeating english at every chance she gets! terezi says they found her popping in and out of consciousness in the furthest ring with some messy wounds, and that shed probably been hovering out there after the fight for years... doesnt seem to have humbled her in the slightest <.<

callieeeee! theyre super sweet and wonderful but also really shy and awkward! they live with roxy but manage to outdo dirk in terms of shut-in-ness... they also totally like roxy but is unsure about approaching those feelings considering the whole species thing and whatever, ive been trying to get them to open up for a while now! weve written fanfic together and drawn grids, so i can definitely tell theres some attraction there, even if theyre afraid of acting upon it just yet <3

jaspie is roses bane, and the one cat that made me get used to their smell enough that i dont bark at them instantly anymore! im pretty sure she crashes at janes often, and is just as outgoing and flirty as i am around earth-c parties and bars, which is saying something honestly! i wont let her dethrone me as the party god, though >:)

and finally davepeta! theyre staying with june for the time being until they can get settled around and see what they want to do here! theyve also dropped by dave and karkats a bunch, which i most certainly dont mind! i definitely appreciate some help in bringing a romantic vibe into those twos lives~ ;o

and thats about it! theres also the nannasprites and tavrosprite and arquius, but they pop by so sporadically and rarely that i dont know what theyre doing a majority of the time... we lost track of gamzee after the session so hopefully hes totally gone, and we havent heard any message from caliborn in years... and with the furthest ring broken and the black hole sealed, leaving a weird white empty space right in the middle of reality, im not sure what our chances of bringing back the other trolls are :( but still, we keep living on happily over here and having our fun slice of life ending together!

id say after everything weve gone through, we deserve a big break, dont we? hehehe <3

also, particularly important events that happen and are recorded in this blog will be tagged as timeline shenanigans!

[thisiskatsblog]

Hi Kat, I often come to seek your wisdom and thoughts on matters such as these because you were the first Larry blog I ever found and the last time I did, you really seemed to understand me and my conflicting emotions and messiness haha. So. My question is what are your thoughts on the Ray and SBB twitter accounts? I found them a few months back when I found a thread explaining a theory of why it's L&H and go back now and again to see what is being posted. I am the darkest Larrie there is, yet

contd: I always prefer to be a cynic because I know just how devastating it is when you put your hope in something only to have it crumbled. And in this fandom, you can't trust anything or anyone unless there is hardcore evidence and proof (aka every millisecond of footage of fetus Larry). There is talk about clues, numbers, iphone/androids and these cryptic riddles and hidden meanings. People do admit in the comments it feels like they're clowning yet I also see thousands resting their hopes contd: on these obscure tweets. I will admit the proof thread I originally read made it seem believable but I then I thought 'who am I kidding, there's no way it could genuinely by H&L'. It doesn't seem like something they would risk, nor something either of them would actually do. It seems like two people baiting Larries and giving us false hope (because in this era where we never get public interaction, many have become far more gullible and willing to believe anything, no matter how far

fetched. Ahh I don't know. It just seems far too good to be true that the two of them are communicating with us through cryptic pictures and riddles and messages. Yes I do believe they both have always found ways to communicate with us, whether it is through songs or body language, because we opened our eyes, we were by their sides and stay strong for them because this is a fight they will win, but I really don't know. It's very cruel if someone is indeed baiting us. Thanks x

 (^^^ March 23rd) 

2.       Anonymous said:

March 25th 2020, 7:06:01 am · a month ago

okay so I just read some master posts explaining RBB and SBB in detail (I didn't get why people were hanging onto every word of Ray and Seymour's tweets like that) and my mind is literally going INSANE trying to process it all. As usual their reactions when asked about it directly on that christmas sweater interview told me all I needed to know back when I watched it but had no idea the sheer significance of these bears until now. It's crazy all the ways L&H showed us the truth all along, to

this day it's just mind-blowing to me. Like they were screaming in the midst of drowning (cough cough Director's Cut), desperate for us to listen and thank God so many of us weren't blind. Sometimes I do feel like maybe I am going crazy or I am delusional for believing in this, as FIMQ said, the cognitive dissonance is real. My mind spirals catastrophically and I doubt my own sanity, and then my mind plays all these touches and glances, slipped words and monumental actions on a loop, far too

much evidence to dispute, and I know I can never go back, how can I, when I've never in my whole life witnessed such magnificent, almost otherworldly love, never cared about any celebrity's love life yet this is far more than that, it is fighting for their love, because they should have never had to be that strong, to endure so much pain, so so young, but they weren't that strong for us to be weak. And I can't wait for the day they are free. No one on this earth deserves it more than L&H.

 3.        Anonymous said:

March 26th 2020, 12:44:47 pm · a month ago

Even I am the darkest Larrie (and yes there is no going back, ever) sometimes I don't know what the fuck I'm doing. Loving and supporting and fighting so fucking hard for a love that is as tragic and excruciating as it is the most beautiful, magnificent thing I have ever witnessed. I wonder, did I get it all wrong and what if they don't find their way back to each other, my waking moments are haunted by memories of them, so young, so clearly smitten, like who the fuck finds their soulmate at

that age? What if even if it is 'always going to be h for Lou', even if they were 'too young to know they had everything' but h doesn't forgive him or remember that yes, their love is worth it? Sometimes I feel I am teetering on the brink of insanity, what if Lou actually has a kid? And Harry's album was about a horrible woman who never deserved him? I think I'll be strong for them, even if I have to wait ten or twenty years but I also feel so much pain thinking about it all. I have never

doubted my own sanity in my life, but lately I wonder so often if I am delusional for having faith in the love of two boys who we're fated to meet and fall in love. I can't even watch them in their baby boyfriends stage or watch edits anymore because I feel physical pain because they never deserved that. I feel pain thinking about their pain, no one should have to face that so young. To be that strong. I want to be strong yet and I try so hard but i also feel I am going mad. I don't even know.

______________________________

Three anons that I suspect are the same person (and maybe even the same one I just answered). Big hugs to you dear anonymous person! And thanks for the compliment. And the patience. I’m so sorry it took me so long to answer. Not sure if I have anything helpful to say, still, except: the fact that you’ve started doubting your sanity, that cognitive dissonance you feel, that dizzy head nauseous gut feeling you get when what you see and what you hear and what you read, just doesn’t match up but you haven’t been able to rationally unravel it yet. That feeling is probably your best proof that something is very amiss, and that Louis’ and Harry’s relationship is very real. We all know that feeling, and it tends to get worse the more caught up in fandom you get.

Your sanity is worth preserving though, so - in my view - it’s better to leave the fandom for a while, however short, to take care of yourself, and be strong for yourself when you feel like it’s draining you too much. You can do that by physically leaving social media, or by taking emotional, and mental distance on a regular basis.

I always remind myself that I have no influence over whether Louis and Harry eventually make it together. And next to no influence over their careers, management, label. I can decide what I do, and have a wee tiny bit of influence on the modest amount of followers of this blog, and then a wee little bit more through the other one - but all in all, my actions, the person they matter most to, the person they influence most, is me. So I try to do, in life, and in this fandom, the things that make me happy. Worrying, does not make me happy. Arguing with hets rads antis and all the other new abbreviations i don’t really get, doesnt make me happy either - I only do it when I’m having one of those days or one of them really sets me off like the other day. But in general, what makes me happy is focusing on the positive. What this fandom has brought me. And has brought other LGBTQ+ people. What are we learning here, what stories do we tell eachother, how are we making eachother better here. 

All of that said: Louis, and Harry, have both sung, in this past year, that they “made it”, and referenced eachother’s music videos in important ways. So I honestly don’t think there’s much to worry about. I think that, whatever was causing them difficulties, they already “found their way back”. I think they are allright.

And I want us to be allright to. That’s something we can influence, that we can do for eachother. So I’m sorry it took me so long to get back to you

I enjoyed reading your SBB post, talking about the sweater interview. That part of it was wonderful, and everything we needed to know. I took RBB and SBB with a big grain of salt in the beginning, but I have reason to believe it was them, or someone very close to them, and that interview did confirm that.

With or without permission, that’s difficult to say. Was it queerbaiting? I’ve been asked that question so many times. In a sense noo, because they are LGBTQ+ themselves - but there is the fact that RBB & SSB very deliberately engaged with LGBTQ+ fans and kept them here while they must have known, at least after bullshit 2.0 happened, that they were going to stay closeted. 

I don’t know exactly how I feel about that. It was a crazy ride, and some of it was enjoyable, and I think the support is important to them, so I do want to stay around. But I also  think it’s shit that LGBTQ+ fans in this fandom have done SO much to support them, and are getting so much shit in return, still, not from them, not at all, but in this environment - and no one is stopping it. 

And that’s not just the case in Louis’ fandom, where we’re definitely experiencing enormous amounts of cognitive dissonance with the bearding and babygate. But also in Harry’s. When LGBTQ+ fans bring rainbows night after night, but it’s constantly portrayed as if Harry is the one bringing them, and when it’s LGBTQ+ fans organising to light up arena’s night after night across Europe, but the only time that gets featured is when it’s two straight girls organising it, insisting they are not doing it for queer fans but because we should be one happy family inclusiveness all around.. I can understand the frustration, the impression of queerbaiting, the feeling of being taken for granted, that made some people leave Harry’s fandom. I will stay, I think he’s amazing, and I think he needs and is grateful for the support, but as an LGBTQ+ fan, I still feel like I am in a hostile environment - knowing he is with Louis, and that he cannot speak about it, has never spoken about any concrete relationship with a man. That’s... - that still tells LGBTQ+ people they are not 100% legit. 

And that’s probably not a lot better for the straight fans who see what we see: a beautiful relationship they can’t speak about and that’s denied all the time. That, too, tells you your thoughts are not legit, and therefore you are not legit. The gaslighting... it’s probably the most poisonous, detrimental aspect of this fandom. Coming back after more than a year off, I was shocked, at how clear things seemed to me again, compared to how doubtful I had been about my own opinions when I left. Taking time off is not abandoning them. Remember that. For me, it made me stronger, and it allows me to support them now. 

So I hope this gets better. Soon. I am still convinced they want that too. And when I start doubting, I listen to Only The Brave... 

[pbandjesse]

Today was a rainy, but pretty good, day. I slept a little better last night. Even if falling asleep hasnt been going well. I woke up in a good mood. James had put air in the tires and gas in the car. I gave him lots of hugs and headed out. 

There are to many cars on the road. But it was fine. I had a good ride in. And honestly it was just a nice morning. 

Some parts were quiet. It was rainy. I spent a lot of time today just enjoying my own company. When I first got there we were all sitting on the porch. I told them all about my powerpoint project and they thought I was very silly but excited that I was excited. 

I had some free time and some energy this morning though. So I went and changed into my rain boots, which have finally broken and absolutely need to be replaced now, and went down to homestead. Heather had asked the specialty teachers to work on cleaning that since we had some time in the afternoon. But I had time then so off I went. 

I listened to my podcast and I cleaned for about an hour and a half. It was kind of rainy and damp all day but it was hella gross down there. Everything was covered in mud. There was so much stuff just around. It was terrible. I started with picking up stuff off the ground. I didnt get the stuff under the picnic tables because honestly, it was to hard to bend that much. But I also had some of the campers help me collect all the containers and tubs down there so I could hose them off. Everything was going to go into storage and they couldnt go in covered in mud. But then everything was wet from the hose and I was very hot. Break time. 

I went and sat at arts and crafts for a few minutes. Caught my breath. Enjoyed the hammock. Enjoyed the rain sounds. And then went down to the office to check in with Heather. She was super surprised that I had been cleaning down there alone. Acted all proud of me. And my stupid money brain was like "Praise???" so of course I went back later in the day and kept cleaning and wiping things off and putting things in totes. Cj is going to come back on thursday and help sort but in the mean time at least they would be able to get everything away from the muddy area. 

Heather told me that after lunch I should go help with sandwiches. But I had time. So I went and finished setting up in art. Laid around. Had my lunch a little early. 

And went to figure out making sandwiches. But that went all wrong because apparently there was a change of plans, but no one told me. I made like 20 sandwiches when Elizabeth came in and was like. The fridge broke and we arent allowed to use this food anymore. Even though it was in a cooler that was still cold. Which seems silly to me but food rules are important. I just feel bad that I wasted the bread. And another change of plans was that I was supposed to be running trading post again. But I had asked! A few times! And was told no, youre doing sandwiches. So I was all confused. And a little unsettled. Im still unsettled honestly. I hate doing things wrong. I hate being wasteful. Doesnt feel good. 

But I headed up to trading post and it went just fine. It was healthy day and no one told me that so I had to get that stuff but everyone was quick to help me set it up. 

It took a little longer today, I dont know why but we were having trouble getting the kids up and in line. But it was done and I went to art to wait for my group. 

This group was tough. I knew that. Because they were the little ones and there were 13 of them. But it went well all things considered. We ran a little over time. And James, their counselor, was obviously stressed. But the kids were so excited that they made their little quilt square. But because of us running late I didnt get a picture. Ah well. It was still a lot of fun. 

Half their kids wanted to use the bathroom and then there was an early pick up and then their program space changed and it was a whole ordeal. I was barefoot but I told James I would take half his group to their next program. So I threw on some shoes and walked them down to the office. Where James met us and took over. 

I headed back to art and cleaned everything up. Took a small break. Okay a little bit longer. Wrapped in my blanket in my hammock. It was great. 

Im a little sad thinking about it only because Maryland is moving into phase three and I dont know what my job situation is going to look like going forward. Its hard. Im scared all the time, but being out at camp at least feels safe. I dont think I will feel safe in another job yet. And like none of my museums are going to open for field trips. And so its like. Fall at camp was already tentative. It was already like. Unsure. But Alexi is hoping it will at least be some time every week. And Im trying to stay positive but its hard and Im scared about what the fall will bring with covid and with the cold. I am going to try to get into my art more. Try to actually sell things? Well see what happens I guess. 

The rest of the afternoon was cleaning down at Homestead and then hanging out with the kids at the office until 5 when I headed out. 

I drove to Hunt Valley and went to the Marshals I discovered there. I didnt realize that the shopping center had a back side.  And I had excellent luck. I finally found a long sleeve black shirt. To replace my lost one. And I got some gum and a pretty makeup and a night time lotion. The cashier was very sweet. But I was starving and had to go find some dinner. 

I ended up going to wawa and ate a hoagie in my car. Just living my best life. I had a long and strange drive home. I got a light on my car that I had never seen before. But I looked it up and it seems like its not a big deal. It only flashed at me two different times and didnt stay on so its probably okay but Ill keep an eye on it. 

I got back here and was annoyed to find a cop in the alley. But Mr Will was also outside and it was nice to see him. He got one of those two screen phones, very fancy. He showed me how to look for jobs on facebook market place. Which I didnt need him to do but I enjoy him and his dad energy so I let him show me. He's great. I was also glad to see he was actually wearing a mask. I worry about him!!

I got in here and it was basically 7. I put stuff away and did the dishes. I got a piece of the cookies and cream cheese cake James made and played animal crossing. I cant believe its september but that brings changes to the island! New bugs and fish! I caught a soft shelled turtle! I played until 8 and then took a lovely long bath. 

And now I am just hanging out. I am tired and hoping I fall asleep easier tonight. I hope you all have a great night and a wonderful tomorrow!

[dirtydobrik]

ignoring me - d.d.

plot: you feel ignored by your boyfriend, david, and decide the only thing you can do is break up with him 

requested: yes, by anon! Pls write an angst with david where reader breaks up with him because she doesnt feel loved/appreciated and also cos david doesnt make time for her

author’s note: hi! this was requested anonymously, so hopefully it was something similar to what they wanted, sorry if it’s not. (i’m really bad at writing angst, i know). if you want to request an imagine about David, send me a message and i will try my best to write it for you.

word count: 1,407

masterlist

You downed another drink, tossing the cup on to the floor, annoyed that David had dragged you out to a house party only to ignore you while he filmed. You knew he only went to parties for footage, but he spend the entire time ignoring you, so you didn’t understand why he wanted you to come. You thought about ditching David and leaving the party, and how he probably wouldn't even notice.

On days when he had to film a vlog, his only priority was doing just that. Nights when he needed to edit were awful. He would beg you to come over but proceeded to ignored you while editing. You would sit on the couch in silence for a couple hours, before getting up to go to bed. On nights when David was particularly stressed while editing, he would take a break and see if you were still awake. He'd apologize for being so focused on his vlog, asking if you were mad at him. You would lie and say it was fine, that you understood.

But lately, it was driving you crazy. The only time you and David would have sex was on nights when he needed a stress reliever while editing. And he wouldn’t even stay in bed, he'd get back up and go out to the couch to continue editing when you finished. You'd fall asleep alone and you'd wake up the next morning to him finally coming to bed, begging you to stay with him. And you would.

But tonight, you weren't in the mood to deal with your normal editing night routine. You locked on eyes on David, who wasn't filming anymore. Instead he was sitting on the couch talking to two Instagram models and drinking a beer. One of the girls was sitting a little too close to him, and you wanted to interrupt them but you weren't in the mood to act like his jealous girlfriend, because at this point you didn’t even feel like you were his girlfriend. You pulled your phone out, sending David a text that you wanted to leave. You watched him pull his phone out after it buzzed and read the message. His eyes scanned the room looking for you, and when he didn't see you, he replied saying he needed to finish filming one more thing and that he'd be ready in about ten minutes. You couldn’t believe he had just flat out lied to you, and you were fuming.

But you couldn’t get mad at him. Not here. He wouldn’t understand why you were angry. Stuff like that went right over his head. So instead, you pushed through the crowd and walked outside to get some air. A few minutes later David found you.

"Ready to go, babe?" he asked, and you nodded.

Sitting in his Tesla, you felt nauseous at the thought of having to act like everything was fine. "David, I don't feel good. Can you just bring me back to my apartment?" you mumbled.

David agreed, turning the car around and heading over to your apartment. He pulled into the parking garage to drop you off, not asking if you wanted him to stay with you or offering to walk you up. He gave you a quick kiss before you got out.

You collapsed into your bed, wanting to scream about how annoyed you were. David was unbelievable. You needed to end things with him but you just couldn’t, because you knew that there was a reason you fell in love with him.

He hardly ever made time for you anymore, and you missed how your relationship was in the beginning. When you couldn't stay away from  each other and all you two wanted to do was spend time together, even if you weren't doing anything. He used to clear his schedule at least once a week to spend the day with you. Whether you went out for dinner and ordered food to his house and watched movies on the couch, he always made time for you two to hang out. But lately things just kept coming up, and you'd reschedule your date night only to have something else come up.  He'd invite you over, but often your other friends were over or he'd be preoccupied with filming or editing. You hardly ever got alone time with him anymore, and you missed it.

You sent David a text: can you come over? we need to talk. it's important  

You knew sending texts like that put him on edge, and usually he would drop over if there was an issue.

A few minutes later you got a reply: can it wait until tomorrow? I need to finish editing my vlog

You threw your phone on to the floor, unbelievably annoyed at David. You wanted to scream. Of course the vlog was his priority, you shouldn’t even be surprised at this point.

You replied, saying tomorrow was fine, even though it wasn't. But breaking up with him had to happen in person. You thought about going over there right now and getting it over with, but David would resent you for that. You would just distract him from editing and he was so wrapped up in his own world that any interruption would piss him off.

You got into bed after changing and taking your makeup off, your phone still on the floor and going off occasionally.

The next morning you woke to a knock on your door. When you opened the door David was standing outside. Your hair was a mess and you were only wearing an oversized t-shirt and underwear.

"What are you doing here?" you asked, surprised to see him awake and out of his house before noon.

"You said we needed to talk."

You invited him in, making yourself a cup of coffee before sitting at the kitchen table across from him, waiting for him to say something.

He cleared his throat. "So, what did you want to talk about?" he asked, hesitantly.

You couldn’t wrap your head around the fact that he didn't know what was wrong. But it wasn't fair for you to be mad.

"I think we should break up," you replied. You had a straight face and you looked right past David.

"What? Why?" David questioned.

You tried to explain that you felt like he didn’t appreciate you, that he didn’t make time for you, and that it didn’t feel like he loved you anymore. You told him that you felt ignored constantly.

He looked over at you, his eyes glossy. "I didn’t know you felt like that," he whispered.

"Of course you didn't, David. You're so wrapped up in your own world and you never think about anyone else but yourself," you raised your voice, trying not to yell but still coming across as angry and annoyed.

"That's not true," David sighed.

"Yes it is!" You yelled, slamming your hands on the table, causing David to jump. "You don’t give a shit about anyone but yourself. You only care about your fucking vlogs!"

"I care about you. I love you for God's sake!" David yelled back.

You were fighting the urge to cry. "That doesn't mean anything if you don't act on it!" Your breathing was shaky by now. "David, you can't say you love me if you ignore me when we're out together or when you have to edit. You can't say you love me if you don't make an effort to spend time with me. You drag me out to parties and ignore me. Or you sit on your couch while editing and ignore me."

"I don't ignore you," David tried to protest, but both of you that was a lie. "Look, I'm sorry," he sighed. "I'll be a better boyfriend."

"And the worst part is that you didn’t even know you were doing it! If I didn’t say anything then you wouldn't know how I felt because you don't bother asking," You were fuming with anger at the fact that David thought him saying sorry would make everything better.

"Babe, I'm so sorry."

"Do not call me babe," you said through gritted teeth. "We're done."

You weren't in the mood for any more of David's excuses. You didn’t want to hear him use work as an excuse for being a shitty boyfriend.

"You should go," you said blankly, before standing up and walking out of the kitchen, leaving David alone and confused.

[emotrait-arc]

All for Jay!

HERE WE GO

🩸 - Does your OC believe in blood being thicker than water?

definitely not. he doesnt have any contact with his family anymore, and doesn’t plan on it. it hasn’t been touched on that much yet, but he has a tendency to think “you’re not a part of my genetic family, so you must be better,” and latches on to people really quick.

✂️ - What kind of thing would have your OC cut someone out of their life? How likely are they to let someone back in?

as quickly he lets people in, he can just as quickly cut them out. something as simple as not texting him back can make him get really angry at you,, especially with those he considers his friends, as he sees it like “if i like you enough to consider you an actual friend, it’ something YOU earned.”

🎭 - Does your OC show different sides of themselves to different people?

ABSOLUTELY. he can be very manipulative and learns to twist his outward persona to get what he wants from people. theres only a few who know the real him.

🩺 - Does your OC accept help easily? Are they willing to admit when they need help?

never. you have to force help on him. (but he’ll be like “you didnt step in, so you dont get a say in what i did.)

💡 - How does your OC enact plans? Do they plan down to the smallest details, or do the wing it?

the older he gets, the more extreme he gets with planning. of course in his biz its super important to make sure you have all his bases covered, but theres times way in the future where he has to get his *ahem* assistant to snap him out of it and actually WORK

🌋 - What’s your OCs temper like? Are they a slow boil, or an instant explosion?

slow boil, nasty words when face to face, explosion as soon as he gets alone.

⏰ - What is your OC like at timekeeping? Are they punctual, or always running late?

somewhere in between. jay runs on jay time. usually, he likes to be professional and show up on time, but if he’s feeling really dickish, he’ll take his sweet time.

🎁 - What kind of gift-giver are they? Do they give thoughtful gifts? Expensive gifts? Practical gifts?

expeeeensiiiiive and thoughtful. if hes giving you something, hes giving it to you for a reason, so you’re definitely going to like it.

📎 - How organised is your OC? Do they keep on top of responsibilities, or leave things to the last minute?

he’s always been pretty organized. he likes to keep his life as in order as he physically can, because it usually isn’t.

🧸 - On a scale of 1 - 10, how ‘soft’ is your OC? 1 being the edgiest of edges and 10 being a literal teddy bear that cries at everything? (Bonus questions, where on the scale would your OC place themselves, and where would they like to be on the scale?)

thats a massive ONE both ways babeeeeeeeey. edgy as hell, just like we like em.

💬 - Is your OC much of a talker? Do they only speak when spoken to? (Or not even then?) Do they ever talk over others?

if he doesn’t like you, he’s not very wordy, but if he does like you, he can talk your ear off. either way though, he’s going to get his point across no matter what.

🌅 - What is your OCs favourite time of day? Are they a morning person or a night owl?

somewhat a conditioned night owl. he can be an early riser, but he doesn’t start his actual “going outside” day until like. 6 PM.

🥦 - Does your OC eat healthily or live off junk food?

he likes to stay healthy :) he’s not a total health nerd but he’s a good boy.

🍹 - Does your OC drink? If so, what’s their drink of choice?

he likes his dark liquors, but in his younger years he’s down for seltzer waters that taste like nothing so he can drink 12 of them and wake up in a bathtub.

🍺 - What kind of drunk are they? (e.g. talkative, sleepy, flirty etc.)

fliiiiirttyyyyyyyyyyyyyy.........he can get anyone blushing (even if its out of embarrassment.)

[fullsunhyuckie]

we grow up!

*here’s to mark’s graduation from dream! you’ve done well, mark.

slice of life!au

in which a group of strangers go for an adventure of a lifetime.

disclaimer: i know mark graduated yesterday but i wrote this story a long time ago and i feel like there isn’t a better time than now for me to post this. so here goes my tears :,) 

day0:

at 19, mark was unsure of his future.

it never crossed mark’s mind that the age, twenty, would come so early but boy was he wrong. it was as if it was only yesterday he just learnt how to chew gum.

mark was intending to go on a road trip for five days right before he officially becomes an adult. but you see, the downside of being a hardworking individual is that you simply have no friends. that’s how mark came up with the idea to invite 6 other teenagers around his age to follow him. he went to the local cafe right opposite his block. it was the place where teenagers often hang out.

there he met 6 other teens who were different yet he could connect with them easily. renjun, an 18 year old aspiring artist who left his hometown to pursue his dreams. he’s small but he can hit a bitch if he needs to. jeno, an 18 year old cheerful soul who will do anything to ensure that everyone is happy. he says he is no fun but he can turn on his funny button if he needs to. haechan, an 18 year old devilish boy who should’ve been born in the 80s. he picks on others but he sure is full of love. jaemin, a loveable 18 year old boy who could flirt for a living. he may seem a little odd with all the flirting but he’s the most loyal friend you can ever come across. chenle, a 17 year old loud loud child who is absolutely talented. he screams a lot but he definitely has a beautiful voice. and lastly, jisung, a 16 year old dancer who is insanely talented. he’s young but he is taller than you. a fact.

“let’s go on a road trip.” and that’s how their journey began.

day1:

mark thought this was a stupid idea. he was the only one who could drive so how was he supposed to fully experience his adventure. whatever it was, he still continued on. it’s not like he could find group of 6 other willing boys.

he borrowed his brother’s, johnny, red suv and drove right off. there was no plan, nothing. just 7 boys in a red suv ready to experience life together. it started off awkward. none of them talked. even haechan, the supposed moodmaker, was silent throughout the whole journey. there was just nothing they could talk about, they didnt know each other at all.

even as they reached the first pitstop, they were silent. probably just constant gag sounds from renjun because he disliked awkward situations. i mean it’s not like mark could do anything, he was driving. while they were having a cup of hot chocolate (weirdly enough, all of them ordered the same thing), mark blurted out a question about why they decided to follow him. they all had the same exact answer (well not exactly but you get it) and that is because they all have a dream,,,,,and then the awkward silence returned.

they all willingly agreed to pitch a tent and have a camp by the sea, the moment they arrived. well, at least it wasnt so awkward when they were asleep.

day2:

the next morning they drove off to have brunch. on the way to the diner, famous for their pancakes, haechan boosted his stereo to michael jackson’s bad and surprisingly all of them enjoyed it. they had more similarities than they thought they would. as they reached the diner, the mood was lighter than ever. it was as if sleeping together made them bond well. again, all of them ordered rather similarly. jaemin suggested they played a prank on the waitress to add a little spice to their morning. jisung decided that they should play a game and the loser has to sing the menu to the waitress.

as expected, renjun lost and he was forced to do the prank. he came up to her and before he could say anything the waitress said, “with voices as loud as you boys, you think i wouldnt know what you’re about to do? save yourself the embarrassment.” with that all of them ran out, leaving a red cheeked renjun standing in the middle of the diner. remember when i said renjun could hit a bitch if he wanted to? well this is what i meant. none of the boys left without a bruise. especially chenle who could not stop laughing.

they decided once again to stop by a park to take in fresh air. mark decided they should get to know one another even better. thats how they ended up playing a game of two truths and one lie. there were stupid lies and horribly dumb truths that came up and one that got mark thinking whether growing up was something he wanted. during haechan’s turn, he explained that his truth was that he was afraid of not having anywhere to go after being an adult. they all left what haechan said aside because truth be told none of them knew for themselves either.

they carried on playing other games and having dinner at the same diner because let’s be real, renjun’s pride comes after a good meal. but throughout the whole time, all of them started getting afraid of the horrors of their adulthood. even for jisung who still has 4 years left till his coming of age.

day3:

now, the third day was the most awful. they felt raw this day. but we’ll get to that. it has only been 2 days but the boys felt as though they had been friends for decades. or rather decade, none of them are twenty as of now.

jaemin and jeno went to the nearby convenience store to get breakfast for the boys. for the whole day they decided to just sit around and talk. and so they did. thats the reason why they felt raw.

mark sat without sharing anything. he was terrified. he was afraid that if anyone knew about it they would mock him and his innocent dream.

renjun began first. he talked about how he thinks that his dream is dumb. it has been 4 years since he came to korea and not once has he gotten an offer to further his art studies. whats the point he thought? anything he drew would never be approved as beautiful enough. and it sucks because when he showed his artwork, mark thought that it was a masterpiece. to him it doesnt matter how beautiful the piece was, it was the story behind it that counts. and that came mark’s first lesson, that nothing in life is ever fair.

jeno went on to talk about how he had no goal. nothing at all. for him, his dream is to live a life with no regrets. thats why he’s not pushing to do anything to stress himself out. he’s just gonna go with the flow. after graduating from his high school barely passing, he feels as though it doesnt matter. jeno believes that he’ll get somewhere one day. after all he’s still a teenager he’s got enough time to think about these things. but for now, he’ll just live in the moment. and that was mark’s second lesson, to live and let loose.

haechan was next. he had a dream to be a singer. and god that boy could sing. but for haechan he felt insecure. no matter how many people came up to him to tell him he was talented, he just cant accept that. that’s probably why he hides it with all the snarky remarks and the over the top compliments for himself. he never felt that he was good enough. but mark feels bad because haechan doesnt deserve to feel that way. haechan was full of love and he couldnt understand why he couldnt give himself any. this made him learn his third lesson, that only you can bring happiness to yourself.

and then there’s jaemin. mark cant help but feel sympathetic for him. jaemin was a dancer, a really good one (from the videos jaemin showed). but the thing is he cant dance anymore. at all. he got into an accident and now he isnt allowed to dance anymore. but the weird thing is that it didnt stop him from being content with life. for he feels that everything happens for a reason. and mark looks up to jaemin because he never fails to put on a smile knowing that his dream of being a dancer is near impossible for him to achieve. that’s how mark learnt to smile even if failure comes.

well for chenle, he had already achieved his dream. well partially. he is currently a trainee singer at a well known agency in korea. as a child, chenle was a music prodigy in china. he went on talent shows and clinched first place in almost every one of them. it was as if chenle’s future had already been written for him to be a singer. but he never used his past to get a boost for an opportunity in the industry. he worked incredibly hard to get into the agency and never once did he take his place for granted. mark learnt from him that its important to stay humble.

and lastly, jisung, the dancing king. mark was amazed by how insanely talented this boy was. it was no wonder he became a famous child dancer, known all over korea. anywhere jisung went people would recognise him and mob him for his autograph or a picture. but as mark sees how jisung acts when he’s with those his age, he realises that jisung is in fact just a kid and he’s just trying to enjoy life as normal teenager. its a pity for jisung because he devoted his whole youth to dancing, and now even when he looks back, his childhood was all just a blur. he complains that if there was one regret he had, it was not living each day to its fullest. that was mark’s last lesson. to seize every moment.

by the end of it all, they were all starting to doze off. and before they knew it , they fell asleep. except mark because he cant help but wonder what will happen to these boys once they part. and in that same moment he thinks, thank god i met these people.

day4:

the next day they woke up in the late afternoon. all of them felt exhausted after spilling almost everything about themselves.

the moment mark woke up he felt awful. there were only two days left till he becomes an adult and that thought scared him to his wits. he began sobbing softly and the boys came running to him. mark explained.

mark was afraid of having a future at all. everytime he tried, he failed. mark wanted to be a rapper. wanted. because there were so many competitions that he attended and he failed. so many people told him that he’ll fail because as a rapper, there’s no future for him.

mark shared that his parents were supportive of him so that wasnt a problem. but you see he didnt want to burden his parents. he knew if he pursued this dream it would take a lot of money and none would be gained back. now mark’s left, all goal-less because he knows if he tried, he’ll fail for sure.

so that’s how mark ended up here in seoul. because he needed a breather. his parents advised that if he doesnt know what to do he should just enter college. thats a sure success because a degree can get you any job you need. but mark was sure it wont bring him happiness because he knows that he doesnt want to go to university, it’s just not him. mark felt empty as though no one understood him, until now of course.

as the 7 dreamers sat under the night sky they thought to themselves. the adults always say you need to plan for your future, you need to know what you want to do. but they never help you. they’d just leave you to figure things out by yourself.

the adults never tell us how hard the process of growing up is. they never prepare us for it. its like going into a battlefield without weapons. no matter how loud you shout or plead for them to aid you. its useless because now they’ll pull out the “it’s your life. it’s your decision” card. but if you fail, its all on you. and if you succeed then suddenly, the family’s the one who paid for the fees and give you moral support and all that jazz.

so that made them awfully afraid because they knew that one day they’ll be doing something and that they’ll get somewhere. but what if they arent happy? what if they’re miserable?

day5:

it was the last day. the 7 of them drove back. the whole drive home was silent. they knew that it’ll be the last time they would see each other. mark will be leaving. he didnt intend to grow so close with the boys but he did and now he hates it. his heart is heavy to leave them but he has to. he understands that people come and go. thats just the cycle. unknown to mark, this is part of growing up. he has to accept that, nothing in life is constant, no matter how hard it is.

as they reached the same coffee house, you could see how all their eyes turned crystal. but their egos are high, so fret not cause they’ll not cry. except renjun and haechan, they cried. hard.

all mark did was put a smile on his face and he said “yo dream. promise me you’ll remember me, alright. we’ll see each other soon.”

and with that he left. and never turned back. because he knew if he did, he wont be able to say goodbye.

day6 (the day mark turned 20) :

now, mark’s 20.

at 20, mark’s still unsure of his future. but he knows that all he wants for now, is to be happy.

-Z

[mobpsycho100]

dumbasses: “it was just a fight for 10 eps straight”

the actual narrative that was being presented throughout the entire fight:

it started with luffy going into the mirror world and smashing it so katakuri couldnt come out of it. what this did was impressed katakuri for the first time when he sees luffy determination to protect his crew (most of the fight was about gaining respect for luffy so this is important to keep in mind). luffy came into this situation where he knew he wouldnt be getting out easy just to save his crew. despite being clearly outclassed luffy chooses to go fight and this is the first thing he did that earned his respect. they fight some and what oda is tryna show at this part of the fight is that katakuri is better than luffy in every single way. no matter what attack luffy did, katakuri mirrored it and returned it but way stronger. their powers are the same (rubber / mochi) and the fight itself is set up in a mirror world because katakuri is a mirror / parallel to luffy. this initial part was to also showcase that luffy couldnt attack katakuri no matter what he did and set that mystery up. this was also set up for showing katakuri was a huge badass and a super powerful guy. and we learn the first part of his back story through the side characters expositing about how since the day he was born katakuri just sat up and fell asleep and has never laid his back to the ground ever in his entire life. its goofy and hilarious as hell but theres a deeper message to it that we find out about later on.

so katakuri uses a big attack after beating luffy down in basically every single way and just flattens him with this mountain of mochi because he became irritated at how luffy wouldnt stay down and kept getting back up after every single attack. we didnt know why he was so annoyed at this point in the story but we later find out that katakuri was frustrated cause he couldnt understand why luffy was okay with getting back up after being beat so much cause in his eyes, being beaten so badly is shameful and that you should be ashamed to show weakness. because of his annoyance towards luffy and the fact that he was late to his merienda time, he didnt check to make sure luffy was fully dead before leaving and going to make a house of mochi so he could eat donuts sinfully while laying on the ground.

then the biggest event in this entire fight happens. luffy survives the big attack and breaks the mochi house and sees katakuri's indulging in his donut private time and learns his biggest secret, which he kept hidden even from his family for the past probably 30 years. he sees katakuri with his scarf off and sees his huge fucked up mouth (which he was made fun of by almost everyone even his own family, growing up) open laying on the ground and eating donuts. this is the second thing luffy does to gain katakuri’s respect. luffy demonstrates he does not give a shit about katakuri’s appearance or what he does and is cool with it all and doesnt make fun of him UNLIKE most people katakuri knows would do. this was also establishing a strong parallel between them and sanji / pudding. so katakuri is mad as hell, that he immediately kills the bystanders who also saw his face and saw katakuri laying on the ground. he covers up his face (because he is still ashamed) and starts fighting luffy again but this time he’s angry as hell. and even tho luffy saw him clearly on his back he doesnt allow any of luffy attacks that land on him to get his back to the ground. because katakuri became flustered over being seen in such a vulnerable position by luffy he’s sloppy but regardless as the fight goes on its still clear katakuri is clearly stronger in every single way and luffy still cant do much to him.

until luffy learns why exactly he wasnt able to hurt katakuri. this is the third thing luffy does to gain katakuri’s respect. he lands the first solid blow on katakuri shortly after that and we learn that its been so long katakuri cant even remember the last time he was hurt like that. luffy presented himself to katakuri as a challenge, which katakuri had not had in many many years. but at this point luffy wasted alot of stamina and had to run out of the mirror world and leave katakuri there. those 10 minutes he was gone to catch his breath, it showed luffy in one of his rarest moments actually thinking about how exactly to defeat katakuri. it works because luffy doesnt really ever have to fight that hard to defeat his opponents usually.

and then the final thing luffy did to gain katakuri’s respect was return back to the mirror world despite the fact that he could have escaped and hid somewhere else. instead he came back for another round proving he can win and get stronger. at this point in the fight both katakuri and luffy know that katakuri is stronger than luffy in every concievable way so katakuri admires luffys courage to return and earnestly try to beat him rather than just disappear off. so the fight resumes and luffy continues to improve on his new technique but katakuri is still stronger.

and then the other big event of this fight happens. katakuri’s sister whom we learnt was president of the katakuri fanclub got a shot on luffy with some sort of  poison dart and katakuri doesnt notice and manages to land a huge shot on him and tear his stomach open while luffy is temporarily disorientated. because of all this build up throughout the arc with katakuri slowly gaining respect for luffy, he is understandably very pissed. because she dared laugh at luffy, somebody who was so strong and had earned his respect in so many ways. katakuri as a sign of ultimate respect towards luffy, spears himself with the same trident he used on luffy. and then he rips off his scarf that he used to hide his mouth and promptly told her to not interfere in a fight between real men. he speared himself to be on equal terms with luffy physically, and he ripped off his scard to be on equal terms with luffy who was being mocked and laughed at by his sister and her cronies. his sister flambe screams in surprise at how hideous he looks but then starts to make fun of his appearance soon afterwards but katakuri was so moved by luffys actions he doesnt care anymore that he revealed his 30+ year secret. he also removes his jacket at this point which has “charlotte” printed on the back which was a metaphor for showing that he’s not fighting for his pirate crew / family anymore. he’s fighting as himself against luffy.

which is FINALLY when they both start to actually go all out against each other, katakuri is still winning but not as overwhelmingly anymore as luffy masters his new technique more and more but katakuri still doesnt allow himself to fall on his back and thats when they both land a big blow and knock each other out which is when the fight ends and for the first time katakuri delibrately falls on his back to show his utmost respect towards luffy.

later on we find out a few chapter after the fight ends that katakuri didnt used to care about who made fun of him when he was younger because he was strong enough to take anybody on, but when some cowards went after his sister instead of him and manage to hurt her, thats what propelled him to hide his face in the first place and put on this persona of being the ultimate badass who never let his back touch the ground and never allowed himself to look weak ever. it didnt matter to him what people said about him or did to him, what truly hurt him deeply was that people were going after his family instead of coming to him. 

this entire arc / fight wasnt about him being a complete badass. it was actually us see him being pressured to become the most perfect big brother but as a result he ended up hiding too many parts of himself away to keep up his act. this is why he thinks falling down is shameful and doesnt allow his back to touch the ground in front of other people because being perfect is how he was able to be so strong and loved by his siblings too. but seeing luffy constantly not only get back up after falling down constantly throughout the fight but not make fun of him and accept him as he is and respect his strength too made him realise that falling down is okay as long as you get back up. that its okay to not be perfect. this is the final puzzle piece put into place for this fight so we could finally see the full picture.

this entire narrative was woven in throughout this entire fight with everything being revealed bit by bit as it all went down. none of this information was spoon fed in one go and then they proceeded to punch each other for 10 episodes straight. it was written with a lot of subtlety and care so things might not have seemed clear enough if you didnt pay enough attention but every little moment added a new layer and it kept building upon itself and revealing new information to the very last moment and then revealing a little extra more in the aftermath so our understanding of the fight was changing all throughout it. the characters we see at the beginning of the fight went through significant changes and come out as different people by the end of it.

[lydstm]

CHARACTER SHEET repost. do not reblog.

𝐛𝐚𝐬𝐢𝐜𝐬 !

FULL NAME.     lydia martin PRONUNCIATION.       lih - dee - ah   m - ahr - tin NICKNAME.     lyd/lyds GENDER.       cis - female HEIGHT.   5′3  AGE.   21 , verse dependent ZODIAC.         leo SPOKEN LANGUAGES.     english , both archaic and classical latin, moderate french, mandarin, and spanish

𝐩𝐡𝐲𝐬𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐥 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐬 !

HAIR COLOR.         strawberry blonde @ me EYE COLOR.         a mossy sort of green. SKIN TONE.         decently fair. BODY TYPE.         fluctuates, but rather petite, hourglass with more of an emphasis at her chest. but her thighs tend to fill out fastest when she puts on weight! ACCENT.         doesnt quite have one— standard american accent ? no real inflections on certain words, etc.  VOICE.         always a little bit raspy and low, a little bit whistle-y / whisper-y . it crackles a bit, a little bit too scream-torn, hoarse, but even before her banshee abilities took root she had a lower, raspier sort of tone. v sexy. she’s pretty fluent in speech pattern, doesn’t stumble too frequently. can get shrill when upset. DOMINANT HAND.         right hand. POSTURE.         absolutely beautiful she sits almost statuesque and pretty !! does not slouch very often unless she’s doing work on her laptop in bed.  SCARS.          she has a decently sized scar on her waist from tracy’s tail. it’s one of the biggest she has, just about touches her hip, and spans up her side to about mid - stomach. she also has a lot of head scars from eichen that are now hidden by her hair, but you can feel them if you run your fingers through it, right above her ears, mostly. she has a tiny round scar on her right on her left kneecap from tripping in the 3rd grade, and a few other various minor injury scars that just never faded. one on the inside of her thigh from getting herself shaving at 14 lmao TATTOOS.        none BIRTHMARKS.      none         MOST NOTICEABLE FEATURE(S).    her lips are prettypretty and big, in proportion to her face, most notably her top lip. it is just as thick, if not more, than her bottom one, when that’s usually not the case for lips. she has very long hair, usually curled, and she’s just. her face? can i list that as a notable feature she’s beautiful      

𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐥𝐝𝐡𝐨𝐨𝐝 !

PLACE OF BIRTH.    beacon hills , california   HOMETOWN.          beacon hills , california BIRTH WEIGHT.         5 pounds 11 ounces BIRTH HEIGHT.         21.5 inches MANNER OF BIRTH.         c section FIRST WORDS.         mama SIBLINGS.      none, verse dependent PARENTS.        natalie martin & nicholas martin ( separated ) PARENTAL INVOLVEMENT.         they have always been a little bit absent, even when they were still together. natalie took most care of lydia during the early years — nicholas was never really present. he worked long hours, came home late, left home early. weekends were dubbed theirs, where they’d have family dinners both saturday and sunday, which lydia loved. but eventually those stopped, the divorce happened, and things fell apart even further. after the divorce, natalie threw herself into a lot of work, and a lot of dating, and lydia grew up relatively isolated. natalie always meant the best for her daughter, and loved her dearly, and lydia grew to know and understand that, come high school. natalie’s involvement in her daughter’s wellbeing drastically improved over the years. she’s a good mother who made a few mistakes and they have a good relationship.

𝐚𝐝𝐮𝐥𝐭 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞 !

OCCUPATION.         actuary + also in school for her phd, but she is always working on a new risk model formula to help improve the risk to actual % ratio for her field’s medal.  CURRENT RESIDENCE.          cambridge , massachusetts ; eventually beacon hills , california CLOSE FRIENDS.         allison argent, stiles stilinski, scott mccall, malia tate, liam dunbar, cora hale, kira yukimura. RELATIONSHIP STATUS.         dating & eventually married to stiles stilinski ( @uniewaznic ) uwu FINANCIAL STATUS.         middle class DRIVER’S LICENSE.   obtained CRIMINAL RECORD.         none VICES.        gluttony, alcohol and, especially in her younger years, a decent amount of pain relievers when she was stressed, sex, lydia absolutely uses sex as a distraction, a way to keep out of her emotions. playing stupid. occasional jealousy. 

𝐬𝐞𝐱 & 𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞 !

SEXUAL ORIENTATION.         bisexual , no preference ROMANTIC ORIENTATION.         biromantic , no preference PREFERRED EMOTIONAL ROLE.       submissive  |  dominant |  switch. PREFERRED SEXUAL ROLE.       submissive  |  dominant |  switch. LIBIDO.         very high TURN ON’S.        intelligence, if you can match her intellectually that’s a huge plus. lydia also very much likes being appreciated (if she’s!! into you!! if not don’t be creepy),  so showing interest, being blatant in it, telling her you want her, letting her know!! she digs that shit lmao. humor is a big one, a sense of adventure. loves teasing, being teased only in certain situations. if you can actually show here where she’s wrong on something she’s going to bitch about it but it’s highkey hot. make her laugh!! confidence is a nice one too!!  TURN OFF’S.         bland personalities, and she’s really truly done with superficial shit. big bank account boasting isn’t cute anymore. that’s not what she’s really about. mansplaining is the biggest turn off like a FULL 0/10, quickest way to get her to not talk to you. any sort of women degradation, making them appear lesser, weaker. another big turn off is any sort of manipulation. she doesn’t like feeling small.  LOVE LANGUAGE.     gifts!!! and so much touching, she could hold someone for hours. also a palm on the arm, fingers linked, etc. touching!!! is so !!! important !!! also checking in. making sure they eat. if they’re weather prepared. etc. RELATIONSHIP TENDENCIES.        ^^^ that being said!!! however, she isn’t the most outwardly romantic person. depending on the relationship it gets better, but. lydia always tended to have relationships that weren’t...always...built on affection. most of them were more sexual. so, since that’s what she knows, she tends to be a little less on the big romantic gestures, but : ( she’s a romantic at heart!! loves cheesy sweet movies !! loves the gestures !! with stiles (once they’re in a relationship!!)  it’s easier to be more affectionate, because he’s affectionate and good with her. 

𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐜𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐞𝐨𝐮𝐬 !

CHARACTER’S THEME SONG.         shallow. HOBBIES TO PASS TIME.         social media scrolling. clearing out her emails. loves to read scholarly articles—mostly math related, but the science ones (particularly physics) are equally thrilling. lots of reading in general. big netflix fan, if she’s got a lazy day she’ll happily watch crime dramas for as long as she can. baths!!! lydia will sit in a bath with a face mask and a glass of wine for a leisure evening. getting stiles to do face masks in said bath with her is an additional hobby. happens at least twice a week. she also loves yoga and pilates and cycling, and will cycle between the three classes throughout the week. a weird one, but she doesn’t actually mind folding laundry, and an addendum hobby to that is bitching at stiles to fold his own laundry just for the fun of being annoying. MENTAL ILLNESSES.  ptsd. bouts of insomnia and paranoia. not quite sure if it fits entirely, but she still occasionally sleepwalks.  PHYSICAL ILLNESSES.         frequent and intense migraines, along with occasional unexplainable head pains from the physical trauma eichen has left on her body.  LEFT OR RIGHT BRAINED.         left brained PHOBIAS.      most of her fears do not quite constitute a phobia level, as she is still functional and rational through the thing she fears. most of the fears themselves are rather rational. however, lydia does tend to have an irrational knee-jerk reaction to being physically grabbed by the arm/wrist/shoulder in any sort of aggressive way. waist is fine, most things are fine, she just has a physical genuine terrified reaction to being grabbed like that. also, while not quite a phobia, the way she reacts to being yelled at / doing something wrong / making some sort of mistake / spilling something / breaking something / etc is EXTREMELY worrying, and also not a rational, reasonable reaction. it is an emotional trauma she has not quite worked through. SELF CONFIDENCE LEVEL.         decently high, but fluctuates. lydia has a good view of herself, knows her worth and her intelligence, but there were certainly periods of time where she heavily, heavily felt like dead weight in peoples’ lives, where she was told she ruined everything. it stuck with her. it still has not left, even though she is comfortable where she is now. VULNERABILITIES.        getting too caught up in needing to be perfect. her heart in general is a vulnerability, softer than she lets!! people!! believe. kind of an aside, but she’s physically vulnerable to illnesses when the seasons change. she’s good about it, barely stays home, but she always gets some kind of cold. 

TAGGED BY.  @uniewaznic baby ♡ TAGGING. @argaents @farmorepersonal @boycrowned @taeted @dilkos @stuartwcmbly @limitknown + anyone who wants ! ♡