#and he did. with Dooku.

[circle-around-again]

"'Deenine, do you know if Master Sidious intends to kill me?' 'I don't think so,' TD-D9 replied. 'He has invested so much time into your training that I suspect he wants you to stay alive.'" (Windham, 62).

Maul is told that the only reason why Sidious wants him is the sunk cost fallacy.

Given the events of TPM this becomes awful dramatic irony.

[inquisitor-apologist]

Thinking about how, at the end of the day, at the fatal moment, the sunset of the Republic, it wasn’t Yoda, or Obi-Wan, or even the Chosen One himself standing in the way of Palpatine. It was Mace Windu.

Mace Windu, the inventor of Vaapad and Master of Form VII, the Jedi's strongest duelist, the only person to ever defeat Palpatine in combat. Mace Windu, Master of the Jedi Council and the youngest Master ever appointed to it, the revered leader of the Order. Mace Windu, who forgave even those who tried to kill him, who risked his life over and over again for his troops, who, after 3 years of desperate war, tried to negotiate with battle droids. Mace Windu, who knew the clones were created by the Sith and chose to trust them, who saw every Shatterpoint in the Republic, and loved it still, and fought for it until his last breath, until he was betrayed by Anakin, who he believed in and trusted despite everything.

Mace Windu, High General and hero of the Republic, the embodiment of the Light, the last and greatest champion of the Order, the best Jedi to ever live.

[izzystizzys]

Half the jobs Fox is sent on are not within his jurisdiction. This certainly isn’t.

Planetary protection unit, they said. Military police. Orbital security force.

And now Fox is being pointed at Count Dooku on some backwater planet and told to fetch. How the mighty have fallen.

He’s pretty sure Kenobi, Skywalker and their units could’ve karked this all up perfectly fine on their lonesome; they don’t need three Guardsmen there to watch them do it. But the Chancellor says jump and Fox surpressed the urge to bash his head in with a durasteel chair. So it goes.

Which is when things start going terribly, terribly wrong, of course.

“Is that Spinder?!”, Skywalker exclaims, arms wheeling out in the air wildly to try and catch his balance. “The Count fucks?!”

Across the room, Cody rips his helmet off, several shades redder than a baseline human should be. “The Count fucks my brother?!”

Two lightsticks hover uselessly in the air, Skywalker’s zig-zagging in a relentless hum with his gesturing. Fox stands stock-still, in the hope that maybe he’ll spontaneously turn invisible if he does. Around them, 501st and 212th troopers gape through helmets. Behind him, Nuisance gasps for air amidst screaming laughter.

Ping, went Fox’s comm unit, in that unmistakeable lascivious jingle sound. Ping, answered Count Dooku’s within a split second. Match found close by.

For a moment, Fox considers what it would be like to run at the Count’s lightsaber at full speed.

…not like that.

“Count”, Kenobi says, with a face like he’s bitten into a rotten fruit. Not that Fox knows what fruit tastes like. “This is a highly… unexpected development.” He fwoosh-es his lightsaber shut, obviously having given up on fighting. “I’d call it a conflict of interest, but I’m not sure that applies?”

“Oh, it’s gonna be a conflict of something, for sure”, Cody hisses, fists clenched at his sides. He looks about ready to boil over, with Crys and Waxer inching closer in preparation. “What have you done to my brother, you monster?!”

“I don’t think you want to know that, Commander”, Nuisance gasps out between barks of laughter, proving why he’s eternally Fox’s least favourite. Cody’s splotchy red complexion slowly fades into ghostly white as a sheen of horror settles over the room. “Thanks for the fancy chocolate bouquet last week, Count!”

Dooku, who has been thus far staring at the floor with an empty thousand-klick stare, looks up at that. Fox has seldom seen a man that defeated outside of the mirror, he has to admit - but shudders when he remembers exactly what the chocolates were for.

Oh Force, he’s sexted Count Dooku into buying him gifts. Does that make him a Seppie spy? Traitor by proxy?

“I feel”, says the Count, gravely, still holding his long red laserknife in a white-knuckled death-grip, “that I have been taken for a fool.”

“Uh”, says Fox, nervously. All eyes snap to him. Oh Force, oh Force, oh Force. They’re going to invent a whole new kind of decommissioning for this and name it after Fox.

“Is it really scamming if you actually get what you pay for?”, asks Grids, considering. Fox slowly pulls off his helmet just for the comforting feeling of burying his head in his gloved palms. The sounds of a struggle ensue, and Kenobi makes a choked-off noise. Maybe if he’s embarrassed enough he’ll give himself an aneurysm.

“Grandmaster, why are you paying people for naked pictures of themselves on the holonet?!” Kenobi asks, despairingly. “Aren’t you a little old for that?”

“Oi, no one said I was naked!”, Fox exclaims, head whipping up.

“So naked”, Nuisance laughs, palm thumping against the floor. He might be crying.

“I’m not decrepit”, the Count blusters, and Skywalker makes a gagging noise. “I have - there are needs, and they are perfectly natural!” It takes three troopers to restrain Cody from launching himself at the Count.

[charmwasjess]

I legitimately didn't remember how fucking batshit funny some of the Dooku sections in Claudia Gray's Master and Apprentice were. Qui-Gon's remembering his first mission with Dooku in flashback: okay, seems straightforward enough. They land in an ongoing crisis in a battle zone, Dooku goes to talk to the generals. Then, next scene, we smashcut directly to:

"Don't be afraid." Dooku's voice rang out over even the howling winds of Shurrapak. Qui-Gon clung to the carbon-fibre-rope riggings of the Shurrapakan ship, salt spray stinging his face and hands as they rounded the cape to approach the battle from an angle the enemy wouldn't expect. "They're shielded against skycraft and energy weapons. Not against seafaring vessels!" He made this sound majestic, courageous, brilliant -- nothing like the last-minute, last-ditch attempt it really was. Qui-Gon took a deep breath and stared up at the stars. Big mistake. The stars weren't moving and his stomach was, and the queasiness that swept through him made him feel weak.

Dooku has been on this planet for less than 24 hours. There are already other Jedi there ahead of him with established generals working on the battle plans, which according to the scene just before this, are complete enough that its conceivable Dooku and Qui-Gon will miss the action. So naturally, the plan he then comes up with is "ABANDON ALL OTHER PLANS, WE ATTACK THE FORTIFIED BATTLEFIELD WITH OLD TIMEY ROPE-RIGGED SAILING SHIPS!"

And at his side?? A seasick twelve year old who has never left the Temple or seen battle!!! Who can't swim! And backing them up?? Rael fucking Averross, who Dooku was just nagging for being too eager to get into the fighting. Sure, Dooku. That's Rael's problem.

This is the most disaster lineage shit I've ever read. This could absolutely be an Anakin and Obi-Wan Clone Wars arc.

Bonus Rael and Qui-Gon Content, from earlier in the chapter:

"C'mon, then, let's go talk to the generals." Rael made it sound like the most natural thing for a twelve-year-old to do.

Rael, you crazy motherfucker, never change.

[furious-blueberry0]

Sketch for the Mines Monday prompt: Comfort

I was so sure I had posted this already, but by going through the sifo dyas tag on my blog I discovered that no, no I did not post it 😭

So here it is lol

[bolithesenate]

@charmwasjess paid me good money (read: cat pics) to further the idiots agenda, so here we go.

I like to think that every once in a while Sifo uses his Ataru knowledge for evil to tackle Dooku out of nowhere. He has (almost) been stabbed over it So Many Times

[gaeasun]

We all make fun of the disaster lineage for being disasters, but when you think about it they had exceptional dueling skills. Dooku was specifically known for his dueling ability; Obi-wan beat Anakin and Maul and yes though he ended up shooting Greivous he was one of the few Jedi to even survive dueling him; Anakin was well, Anakin.

Its hard to even say whos the best but Ahsoka sure has a list of achievements against opponents three times her size, and i think shes my favorite to actually watch (animation that is, with her reverse grip and acrobatic style).

Surviving Ventress in her first week as a padawan

Defeating three magnaguards, also in her first week as a padawan

Survives Ventress several more times, when Ventress is crazy enough to give a Jedi Master like Luminara serious trouble

Surviving Grievous when she still had one lightsaber and stubby baby montrals

Surviving Grievous again later during the youngling arc, once she has two lightsabers and a lot more experience under her belt. Even using all four of his lightsabers he can't kill her.

You know, Maul. When she was 17. Need i even say more?

The time she beat that one Inquisitor without her own lightsaber and killed him with his own (happened in both the book and TotJ).

That time she beat off two Inquisitors at once.

There are only three Jedi who ever survived against Vader. She did technically die but she came back and also a temple fell on her. anyways she survived long enough to have a building fall on her which is saying a lot.

Anyways disaster lineage are epic duelists and we have to respect them for that

[jewishcissiekj]

[kingofattolia]

"Do you miss it? The Order?" "I miss... the idea of it. But not the truth, the weakness. There was no future there." OKAY, THIS MAN MISSES THE ORDER SOOOOOOOOOOO BAD IT MAKES HIM LOOK STUPID

I'm serious. He's carrying the husk of his long-ossified grief so obviously. It is evident in everything he does and says that he was a young knight absolutely ripped to shreds by Order 66 and its lonely, dark aftermath. He allowed despair to be his comfort, convincing himself there's nothing to mourn because it's easier than dealing with the loss.

[jedi-order-apologist]

Dreams to Chase (Away)

Dooku preferred the nightmares. Written for Fandom Empire Prompt Tables 2024 - Prompt: "Lonely"

Read on AO3

The nature of Sith training was such that it often left nightmares in its wake. Dooku preferred to think of it differently, though – “nightmare” was a childish word, implying a sort of weakness, a need for comfort.

Nothing could be further from the truth. These reminders of his training, of his pain, served to make him strong. They ensured he woke up in the embrace of the dark side, filled with rage and hatred for what he had endured. It kept him focused.

The true weakness was in the other dreams. The ones that took away his focus, that rather than anger, left behind an emptier feeling that he did not let himself think about long enough to name.

Better to dream of suffering, of Sidious’s lightning and cruel laughter, than to dream of home the Jedi Temple. Of Qui-Gon, attempting to smuggle animals into his room, or stumbling over his first negotiation. Of Mace, coming around for advice, debate, or just tea and company. Of Jocasta and Sifo-Dyas in their youth. Of Yoda, telling him “a fine teacher, you will be,” after finding Dooku helping some younglings, with a warm smile and a pleased glint in the old Master’s eyes…

Those dreams didn’t limit themselves to mere echoes of the past, either. Sometimes memories blurred together and created something that had never been, would never be. Sometimes Asajj stood where Qui-Gon had; sometimes it was Obi-Wan who joined him for tea. Sometimes it was the joyous laughter of younglings he didn’t know. Sometimes it was Dooku alone in his old room, but with the knowledge that others were never far away.

It was these dreams that frustrated Dooku more than any nightmare ever could, as he sought a way to banish them completely.

But his efforts remained in vain.

[toxictoad]

Is there a fandom word for a supporting character that is rarely if ever a topic for fandom but that you are absolutely obsessed with?

I'm not talking about a glup shitto. I mean a character that everyone knows about but who isn't really anyone's favorite character. Fics centered on them are rare and ones that actually explore them in an interesting way are even rarer. No one really kins them or draws them. No one brings them up outside of discussing other characters.

Yeah, whatever that is.

But then...

A piece of media comes out that heavily features that character... and people finally talk about them.... you are in heaven for a few short months... and then it goes back to how it was.

Oh, sure, maybe there will be more people who like that character now. Maybe there will be an uptick in fics that give you a small backlog to read. Maybe you'll even get a nice catalog of fanart that will fuel your imagination for a little while.

But no matter what; that character won't get as much attention as you think they deserve.

Anyway that's how I feel about Count Fanon-first-name-Yan Dooku.

[howdidthisevenhappenanyway]

it’s getting to the point where I want to run an event where people write fics where quinlan gets found by the coruscant guard explicitly anywhere but the bin.

like come on quinlan fans he deserves better than this

[charmwasjess]

I really am crazy busy, both at work and life, and of course, finishing RH, but Vampire Dooku Turns Sifo-Dyas AU won't leave me alone, so you get a little piece of the morning after Sifo-Dyas returns from his Oba Diah moon:

Cut to be safe, cause discussion of sex

“So, who even was this?” Sifo-Dyas tilted the cup of blood accusingly in Dooku's direction, but he didn’t let go of it, either. “Some poor soul from Serenno? Someone’s parent, or treasured child? Disappeared up into the big castle like so many others, but who would dare question the noble Count Serenno?”

He was not sure who he was trying to shame more: Dooku, who did not seem to care, or himself, who cared a great deal more than he could currently handle. “I wonder what color her eyes were, or what she dreamed of being in life before you–”

“Not to interrupt your maudlin fantasy,” Dooku looked almost as tired as he felt, “but I do not go about exsanguinating peasant girls in my own kingdom, Sifo-Dyas. For one, that would take a tremendous deal of time.” 

“So difficult to fit more murder into your busy schedule? I ought to be grateful you spared the time for my own!” 

“In fact, hunting and killing live beings is rather impractical. Messy, and, if we must discuss your own death, that is a fine example of the kind of loose ends left by such practices.”

Sifo-Dyas glared at him, even as he grudgingly sipped the blood. It immediately soothed the static throb in his temple, but he did not enjoy being referred to as a “loose end.”

Oh, of course Dooku wasn’t done. “Most of what I consume is sourced from medical blood banks. Supplying my own would be a logistical nightmare.” Dooku paused wryly here, tolerant amusement curling his lip. “And… the effect of drinking live blood can cause quite an ardent physical response in the body, as you may have noticed last night. To both of our enjoyment, I believe. But it would be impractical at other times.”

Ah, that was right. Last night, he’d ended up in Dooku’s stupid bed again. Their first time, mere days ago, Dooku had shamelessly used the opportunity to turn him into an undead monster. And yet, knowing that, fully aware of that, Sifo-Dyas had still gone back for seconds.

Honestly, Sifo, where is your damned common sense? He was a Jedi Master and former member of the High Council. Why did Dooku still possess the ability to make him behave like a teenage boy navigating his first crush? And why, by the black stars, why, why did his own internal voice of admonishment still sound like Lene? 

“When the time is right for your first true hunt, a ceremonial rite of passage for our kind, I’ll arrange–”

“No thank you,” he cut him off tersely, “I’ll eat rabbits.”

“Rabbits?”

“They have rabbits on Serenno, do they not?”

Dooku paused. He actually looked like he did not know and was genuinely curious.

“How did I not know about this curse of yours, anyway?” Sifo-Dyas blurted out before Dooku could tell him about any stupid theoretical Serennian rabbits. “All those years ago, when we were everything to each other.”

Dooku’s quick glance up might have been wounded. Are we not still everything to each other?

Sifo-Dyas ignored that, still feeling a little too sore and betrayed for such sentimentality. “You must have taken such pains to keep it from me.”

“No more than any other urges I hid from you.”

“Urges?” Sifo-Dyas repeated, incredulous. “Other urges such as biting me in the neck until dead?!” 

“The ritual to make you was more complicated than that.”

“Oh, right, yes, the complicated ritual. For the vampirism to properly stick, you must first be fucking me and whispering romantic lies in my ear!”

 “Sifo…” Now Dooku decidedly looked pained. “I had my reasons for–” 

“Mortis gods, do you ever shut up?” 

“–I thought it would be more comfortable for you. Endorphins from intercourse dampen any pain associated with the bite. And, if I may consider my own feelings in this, your obvious happiness and pleasure made the experience …” 

“It made me taste better?!” Sifo-Dyas shoved up from the bed. He’d had enough of breakfast with Dooku. 

[littlediscoveredstars]

New headcanon! Qui-Gon Jinn was green-red colorblind (protanopia).

Think about it! This man has surrounded himself with green. He loves plants (can’t remember if that’s canon or not but it is to me) and collects them. He has a green lightsaber, a color he cannot see.

The only color that pops out among seas of dull yellow is blue. The color of Obi-Wan’s lightsaber, as well as Dooku’s (and Anakin’s). Blue, the color of his Padawan’s eyes. Blue, the only thing different. It would stick out during fights. He would know immediately where his master/padawan is by the color.

And let’s talk about red! Qui-Gon can’t see red, the color of Count Dooku, the Sith’s, lightsaber. He could not see his master slowly falling toward the dark.

He couldn’t see Maul’s lightsaber past it’s glow. It blended in too well and he payed for it with his life. Maul, the first Sith in centuries to fight with a Jedi. Qui-Gon, the first killed because he couldn’t see their plans. Couldn’t predict his own end and the scenes he died to. His own master’s plans, beside Sidious.

Anyway. So, I headcanon Qui-Gon had protanopia…

[count-doodoo]

palps gets a lot of flack (deservedly so) for being a shit teacher but like,, have you seen the disaster lineage?

yoda [light side]: trains dooku [falls to the dark, dies], luke

dooku [light side]: trains rael, qui-gon [dies], komari [falls to the dark]

dooku [dark side]: trains ventress [goes grey], savage [dies]

qui-gon [light side]: trains feemor [repudiated], xanatos [falls to the dark, dies], obi-wan [repudiated (melida/daan), taken back, pseudo-repudiated (tpm)]

obi-wan [light side]: trans anakin [falls to the dark], luke

anakin [light side]: trains ahsoka [leaves the order]

luke [light side]: trains ben solo [falls to the dark]

anyways hats off to NONE OF THEM for succeeding at training anyone.

[padawansuggest]

Rael: *yelling about space-meth and how it rots your teeth and he knows from experience*

Komari: *yelling louder for dominance about how she doesn’t DO it she’s just selling it*

Qui-Gon: *stealing babies from all over the galaxy*

Dooku: hmmm *looking between his children* hmmmmmmm… *eyes land on Kenobi*

Obi-Wan: *hiding under the couch and nervously tearing apart Xanatos’s life day present he sent this year, a pile of strings sitting in front of him from the half disassembled sweater already, most his Padawan braid stuffed in his mouth to gnaw at it*

Dooku: Ohhhh, that one, I choose to give this year’s ‘best Padawan’ award to that one.

Komari: YOU SHOULD JUST JOIN ME ALREADY WE COULD HAVE A METH EMPIRE BY NOW-

Rael: I DONT SELL METH I SELL THIS ASS SHUT UP-

Yoda: …same. Give the others away to charity, we should.