#and having 100 thoughts but no one to really share with . its so quiet in the tags .

[ottosbigtop]

Suffering my curse (Thinking about thing i like too hard to sleep)

[stevebabey]

part one here. ze part two to touch-starved stevie that absolutely no one requested hehe <3 but i gots to let my boys have a wee kiss :")

So, hugs with Eddie become… well, a thing.

Not a thing. They’re not a thing, Steve and Eddie. It’s totally the same as when he gets hugs from Robin. Eddie’s doing him a favour as a friend. It’s got the 100% platonic energy of getting a hug from a friend — a hug that usually melts into some form of a cuddle, limbs all tangled together until they can’t tell whose are whose.

Except, Steve doesn’t really do that second part with Robin. Like he hasn’t done it ever with Robin.

So, it’s an Eddie thing.

But they’re not a thing. Not matter how much Steve would actually very much like for that happen. Okay, maybe Steve’s overthinking the whole thing a bit, but he just can’t tell.

Where’s the line? It’s infuriating not being able to discern between platonic and more, just because Steve wasn’t held enough as a fucking baby. Out of all the things he resents his parents for, Steve’s surprised that this is so near the top.

Because, sure, Steve’s had more than his fair share of hookups. He knows that sort of touch. He knows the shape of lust; the scrapes of fingernails down backs, the tight grips over skin, the push and pull of the heat of the moment.

And this thing with Eddie… is not that.

So, really, Steve knows that it’s all friendly. Eddie is just being nice. He’s being a decent dude and helping his friend out — by catapulting himself into Steve’s arms at every opportune moment.

(Steve’s only dropped 3 mugs of coffee because of this so far. It’s only because Eddie says good catch, big boy with a devilish grin every time that Steve manages to catch Eddie that Steve hasn’t completely told him to knock it off. Just yet, at least.)

And he’s different in other areas. He’ll always seem to choose the seat next to Steve on movie-nights now, content to snuggle right up to him. They get thigh to thigh, arm to arm — and Eddie only needs to get about 20 minutes in for him to do a big sigh, like an old dog, and slump over, resting his head on Steve’s shoulder.

Steve notices though. He always notices.

It’s impossible not to— the skin, even if there’s 3 layers between them, burns blazing warm. Eddie’s hair drapes over his arm, a curl inevitably tickling along Steve’s collar. He can feel the rise and fall of Eddie’s breathing, the little shake of when he laughs.

It drives Steve a little insane— insane in the way that makes him think about burying his fingers in those curls again, about pressing his lips against Eddie’s pretty mouth just to feel the smile against his skin, about digging into his chest so he can climb into his chest and live there.

Yeah, it’s— well, it’s safe to say that the effect of Eddie’s touchiness has sent what was once a fleeting thought of a crush into mind-melting levels of affection.

But he can’t fucking tell.

-

To Steve’s credit, neither can Eddie.

Which is not surprisingly considering sometimes he catches himself wondering how the hell he ended up here; in a close-knit friendship with band-geek Robin Buckley, princess Nancy Wheeler, and King Steve Harrington.

Okay, the Robin one sort of makes sense. He thinks that if no matter when their paths crossed, he and Robin would’ve always even some sort of strange friends - her snark complimenting his bitchiness. Also, the whole super queer thing helps too. Even the friendship with Nancy works, in its own weird way.

Steve though? He’s the fucking curve ball.

It works though, the two of them. Surprisingly well, actually — the two of them get on like a house on fire, bitchy quips back and forth. Even better, is the quiet that they can share. Steve loves to come around and do… nothing. Do nothing with Eddie, though.

So, even though Eddie had noticed the tension in Steve with touch, little moments where he turned rigid when Eddie’s usual wandering hands got too comfortable — Eddie chalked it up to the usual. Guys bring too uncomfortable with him, too weird about another guy being touchy. It didn’t matter than Eddie wasn’t even out to Steve yet, he was still might be that type of guy.

Well, Eddie had certainly thought so. Sure, Steve might not be one of those jocks who smacked around boys who looked too long in the locker room, but if he knew a smidge of the truth, who really knows. It would explain the tenseness at least.

But then— ‘Can I… have a hug?’ There had been a dozen things Eddie was thinking that Steve could’ve asked for but that? Wasn’t even in the ballpark. It was so left-field it left Eddie speechless for a whole moment. And Steve had been staring at the ceiling, his hands curled up tight again like- like he thought Eddie might say no.

A ridiculous thought, honestly. Anyone who knew Eddie well enough knew he was touchy; loved giving it, loved getting it. Like an overly affectionate cat, Wayne had once called him, just 11 years old, because Eddie’s need for affection seem to never be sated.

After that night, Steve’s lack of touch became far more obvious. It’s always hair ruffles or high-fives, yet never hugs. Normally, Eddie would keep to that boundary; some people are less touchy other than others, he knows that.

But… “Sometimes I realise it’s been awhile, since I’ve had some touch.” That’s what Steve had said, his words. Eddie doesn’t even think he meant to say something so heartbreaking. In fact, the guy seemed embarrassed.

It had thrown Eddie for a loop— because Steve gets around. He’s nearly notorious for one-night stands and failed flings, as Robin loves to drone on about considering she’s subjected to all the flirting. What had originally been a point of envy for Eddie, just saturates the bleakness of Steve’s words. Sex but without a moment of intimacy.

So, while Eddie is miles away from being the person who gets into Steve’s pants — not for lack of want, mind you — he does try hike up the touchiness. Little things. Lingering when he taps him on the arm, hooking his chin over Steve’s shoulder to peer over it, leaning up against him when they’re side by side watching a film.

It’s good. It helps Eddie release the pressure of his stupid monumental god-awful crush he has. Yeah, yeah, it’s laughable, even to Eddie. It’s like Gay 101; don’t get crush on straight dudes, especially the ones you’re friends with. And yet…

Steve lets him. He lets Eddie give him touch, more than he lets anyone else. He still tenses; there’s still always a moment before he can remember to relax, like he’s trying to shake off bad thoughts but then he melts. He always melts into Eddie’s touch eventually — in a way Eddie knows Steve actually loves it, drinks it up as much as he can.

And maybe, Eddie is the biggest fool to grace the Earth to let that fact give him some hope. Sue his gooey heart, he’s a romantic. It’s a quiet hope but, it’s there.

Tonight, it seems relaxing for Steve is been harder than usual— several times has Eddie traced a quite long along Steve’s arms, a subtle point that they were far too tense for someone who was wrapped up in cuddles on the couch. ‘Cos that’s 100% what they are now. Eddie will still call them hugs, but usually, when it’s just the two of them, it becomes this.

Steve, tucked up into the corner of the couch, one leg flush along the back of the couch and one hanging off the edge. It’s the prime position for Eddie to crawl up, wind his arms around Steve’s middle and give him a good squeeze and then settle there. Head on Steve’s chest, lying in the cradle of his hips. Safe. Warm.

It makes him warm, oh very warm to know that he gets this. That Steve doesn’t give this amount of trust to many, if any, other people but Eddie — he trusts Eddie.

“Y’know,” Eddie says, cheeks smushed against the plain of Steve’s pec. It feels deliciously warm and Eddie’s fairly sure he can feel how toned it is just through his cheek. Hot bastard. “I’m actually real glad you asked for that hug all those weeks ago.”

He leaves it there ‘cos he knows Steve will ask. Eddie’s eyes stay on the buzzing tv-screen even as Steve’s head shifts, turning to peer down at the boy slumped on his chest. Eddie’s pretty sure he can see Steve’s mouth twitch up into a smile.

“Yeah?”

“Oh yeah,” Eddie affirms, giving a nod and his eyes flick up to meet Steve’s for just a moment. “Think I’ve had some of the best hugs in the world.”

Okay, that was maybe more honest and sappy than Eddie was going for. He is just letting Steve know he isn’t just doing it for Steve — that he enjoys these moments just as much. He lays it on thick, tries for a smarmy angle.

“Swept up in these pillowy arms?” He croons, giving Steve’s bicep a quick squeeze, making the other chuckle softly. “Who wouldn’t think so? I’m a lucky guy.”

Despite the joking tone, there’s no quick comeback from Steve. That’s alright. Eddie’s quite happy if this is one of the times Steve just takes the compliment; let’s the word sink in and hopefully, believes them, even if it’s just a little bit. He watches the film and doesn’t read into the silence.

Not even when Steve says, “Eddie?” all soft. Nearly shy sounding. It doesn’t quite register to Eddie’s ears.

“Mm?”

“Eddie.” Steve says again, a little firmer and that catches Eddie’s attention. He turns his head and rests his chin on Steve’s chest, his brows drawn together in silent question.

But the moment he makes eye contact, Steve’s doing that scrunched up face again. Is studying the ceiling instead of facing Eddie. And just like all those weeks ago, his hands clench up tight. Twists up the fabric of Eddie’s sweater in between his fingers and uses it to ground himself.

Last time, he asked for a hug. Considering he’s currently just about squishing Steve beneath his body weight, Eddie can’t fathom what he might be worked up to ask for. Unless he was going to ask for something more than a hug— which, well, just wasn’t going to happen, even if Eddie really wanted it to.

“Can I-” Steve starts. He sucks in a breath, almost like he’s gathering courage. But he’s not, because he’s not about to ask for what Eddie hopes for, he’s not, he’s—

Unless…?

“Can I… have a kiss?” Steve asks, barely audible. The sentence is murmured, soft words that hit Eddie like a gentle kiss in itself — imprinting right onto his heart. Steve Harrington wants a kiss — from him!

“Oh.” Eddie says, in a breathy delightful way. He’s fairly certain the little monkey in his brain is clapping its cymbals at double-speed as the words process; or maybe it’s his heart, which feels like it’s leapt up his throat.

“Oh?” Steve echoes, a smile already playing at the edges of his mouth, because he can see Eddie’s want. Because he knows him.

“Yes.” Eddie says suddenly, with a frantic nod, pushing up closer so their faces are aligned. “Yes, absolutely, you can.” He affirms.

Steve huffs a quiet laugh at the eagerness and then his arm that had been slung around Eddie shifts. It moves up til his hand caresses along the line of Eddie’s jaw, tilting him just how he likes.

Eddie holds his breath. Counts the freckles he can see this close. Tries to feel Steve’s heartbeat through where they’re pressed so closely together; can Steve feel his? Thundering and hurried, beating so hard Eddie thinks he might bruise the inside of his ribs.

Then Steve kisses him. And shit, Steve’s lip are better by ten-fold than every daydream Eddie’s ever had about them. They’re warm and so soft — plush and pressing against his own and Eddie is freezing. Fuck, wait, how does this go again? Right, Eddie’s never… well, kissed anybody before.

Steve pulls back and Eddie screws his eyes up — not ready in the slightest for the disappointment of his own shoddy kissing skills. Fuck, did he really just freeze? Steve — Steve Harrington — asks for a kiss and Eddie decides to stab himself in the back by not figuring out how to fuck to kiss back.

“You call that a kiss?” Steve teases and Eddie’s well aware of the parallel — of the irony of Steve repeating his own words back at him. But he can’t make himself laugh even though it’s funny. Instead, a little groan wiggles out his throat.

“I’m sorry,” Eddie says, earnest. He forces his eyes opens — he needs to see what’s Steve’s thinking. Where he’s expecting disappointment or perhaps regret, is only patience. Maybe a touch of concern. Eddie continues, despite the humiliation that makes his throat sticky.

“I haven’t- I don’t do this often.” He coughs awkwardly clearing his throat and hoping it hides the next word. “Ever.”

There’s a jump in Steve’s eyebrows, a moment of surprise in his eyes that lets him know he did, indeed, hear that final word. It makes Eddie feel… well, it’s nice that Steve had expected him to have been kissed by now. Even if he hasn’t. He tries to take it as a compliment.

“That’s okay,” Steve assures. Absentmindedly, his thumb rubs soothing along Eddie’s jaw. It makes Eddie shiver, some outrageous amount of joy clawing into every nerve. Steve likes Eddie. He wants to kiss Eddie.

“Do you want to try again?”

Eddie nods before the questions even out of his mouth. Steve smiles, all sunshine. This time when he draws Eddie in, he notices the way Eddie holds his breath — the rigidness in his body.

Steve kisses him again, another short and soft one and then whispers against his lips, “Relax.”

‘Cos isn’t tonight just full of the parallels, Eddie thinks. He listens, tries to focus on how sweet Steve’s kiss is than his panicky heart, forcing out a breath between the kisses. His hands along Steve’s sides find a grip, grounding and good, and by the fourth kiss, he begins to feel a bit melty.

It’s good. It’s really good. Kissing Steve is top 5– nay, the top moment of his life so far. Somehow, it’s made all that much better knowing the build-up behind it. Knowing that Steve knows he isn’t just kissing him for a heat of the moment — that Eddie wants kisses here, kisses before bed, in the morning, on dates. Eddie wants Steve.

And with the way he kisses, Eddie’s pretty sure Steve wants him just as bad.

It doesn’t take long for Steve to reach what Eddie decides is an ultra pretty fuckin’ state; lips swollen from kisses, cheeks flushed, hair a little mussed up. He bets he looks no better. The thought makes him grin, enough they have to break the kiss ‘cos Eddie can’t stop his stupid happy grin ‘cos shit— he actually gets to have this Steve.

“What?” Steve asks, somehow half heart-eyed and half suspicious at the mischief in Eddie’s eyes.

“Can I... have a hickie?”

now with a part three !

[filthyguts]

sketchbook doodles as it’s 4 am so I thought maybe . I’d share my specific kira headcanons from my twit thread. Strap in its unda the cut and it’s a lot because I’m normal about him whatever

- HATES dogs due to an incident from when he was a kid, slight phobia

- I’m always 50/50 on this but I like the headcanon of kira potentially having a type of albinism, both his parents carried the gene

-he’s superstitious, on account of his mother being VERY superstitious, which probably didn’t help with any compulsions he was dealing with internally as a kid and into adulthood

-Liked to burn ants and bigger bugs with a magnifying glass as a kid

-surprisingly low pain tolerance

-Has never kissed another person (until he kissed shinobu on the cheek during BTD)

this extends to other things do with this information what you will *large sign in flashing lights that says VIRGINNNNNN*

-he does not know how to kiss. because he hasn't done it to an actual living breathing person, if he were too in earnest it's intense he's all teeth and tongue it would be literally terrible, but he does give sweet knuckle kisses

he can give a polite cheek kiss but if he had to do one of the lips he’d be cooked like it would be over for him he might bite your tongue off on accident(or..?) like ur better off sticking two fingers in his mouth and hoping for the best instead of getting your lip ripped off

-absolutely LOVES the smell of a fresh coat of nail polish, doesn't care that it makes him light headed

-super veiny hands and wrists one paper cut and it's over for him

-killer queen feels really cold to touch, but its arms and hands are hot

-average at playing the violin, does dabble from time to time in the quiet of his home but it's not very often

-yes we know he sucks fingers but he also likes to likely gnaw because he likes the texture on his teeth (not in a cannibal way though he thinks the idea of actually eating flesh is disgusting and irresponsable)

-just really loves neutrals and easter colors, designer suits all the way obvi

-when he first gained killer queen (I hc he was about 19) it always looked like this pic below with the exposed skull, only when he started to better mask his homicidal tendencies and urges did KQ gain its "mask"" and how we see it now

-despite his obvious feline affiliations he doesn't want a pet cat, the hair getting everywhere would drive him crazy (plus he's got killer queen

-kira didn't name killer queen himself, the only time it ever spoke to him was once. when he first manifested KQ after the arrow, Killed Queen told Kira it's name quietly while standing behind him, this scared the shit out of him, which sounds badass and spooky but was also probably subconsciously because Kira had a Queen CD he purchased a year prior that he liked WELL UR JUST SEVENTEEN AND ALL YOU WANNA DO IS DISAPPEAR

-occasionally drinks (that's canon) but meaning he likes to get winedrunk with his girlfriends on special occasions, or socially drinks when forced to go out for company outings, once came home decently hammered and almost phoned a travel agency to get a one way plane ticket to France to see the Mona Lisa ,

did not follow through with this when he woke up the next morning. The idea of seeing her at the Louvre is almost too much for him, feels like touching an exposed nerve.

-is 100% having sloppy makeout sessions with his severed hand girlfriend with candles, dim lighting, and mood records + thinks it's the peak of romance and gets giddy about it like someone with their first crush. Because he's insane

-can feel a phantom sense for Sheer Heart Attack, no pain due to its durability, but can feel the heat tracking in his hand and it readying to explode once it’s found its target. The tracking feels like a tingling sensation to him akin to a compass, like a pulling. and the explosion feels like a pleasant blossom of warmth

-loves the subtle flavor of different lotions (not freshly applied) that linger on the skin, salty fruity fragrant and slightly chemically is his favorite. 🤢

- tries to be incredibly Normal when going for routine dental checkups and cleanings for obvious reasons. When he was in his early 20s and didn’t quite have his urges and homicidal tendencies in check- one of his early victims was a dental hygienist

-his dad(yoshihiro) was into cheesy action movies and would often take kira when he was a kid to the theater, kira didn’t really care for it overall, the explosions were always cool though.

He doesn’t watch movies often but he doesn’t mind drama and romance.

-gets cold pretty easily

-scary good at walking quietly, like a cat stalking prey, when he started working at kameyu- he went to hand some documents to a coworker, startling them pretty bad bc they didn’t hear him come up- he IMMEDIATELY stopped doing that unconsciously after that incident, he makes sure his footsteps are “normal” are soft, not aggressive, but can hear heard enough.

- in the moment he likes the feeling of blood drying on his skin, but once the adrenaline wears off he’ll wrinkle his nose and be like >:// then hop in the bath to clean up(it’s usually not his bath)

-went to the same school Reimi Sugimoto attended in Morioh, never once did he hold a solid conversation with her, she only spoke to him briefly once about missed homework. But that’s not to say he didn’t know who she was. Eerie :(

- His SECOND favorite early spring, likes taking strolls along to coast with his girlfriends, enjoys the breeze.

But his FIRST favorite season is summer, when all the tourists come to Morioh. It’s easy for people traveling to simply disappear 😨

-aside from nail biting, had a compulsive skin picking habit as a child but this was quickly squashed by his mother who’d give him a swat on the wrist each time he was caught

-subconsciously wishes his girlfriends could grab him back- (this isn’t to say he wants to rest of the person though 🤢) a squeeze on the waist or shoulder would probably do him good but it’s not like he consciously yearns for this- it would shatter his otherwise perfect lived fantasy and setup of control 😒

-his favorite finger is tied between either the pointer or the ring finger. He likes being able to bend the fingers and do what he wants, relishes in the subtle crack of the joints 🤢

anddddd that’s all for now. hell isn’t hot enough for him

[hummingbird-games]

2023 In Review (Indie Games)

Last year's! | 2021

I apologize in advance for how long this might be. As a reminder, I don't bash games here so even if I hated something with every fiber of my being...I ain't sharing. As a second reminder, my more in depth reviews and live blogging has moved to Gem's Game Gems so I don't clutter the HBG's main blog. Okay. ON WITH THE REVIEW!!

DEMOS

Diffraction (Demo)- A rainy day otome indeed. I love the quiet gentleness of this game, the two romance options, and the fact that our MC is a photographer and struggling with her art and stack of life "failures" (because...SAME!!)

Alaris - I was asleep and now I am awake: I came late for the advertised fae and dragon lore, stayed seated and waiting for Fenir zjgjdf. Oh, and I guess the mystery surrounding our MC's abilities LOL.

The Summit Library - When I say I was maaaaaad when I realized I blew through chapter 1 and would have to go back to waiting for more content??? LOL, I was very miffed. Anyhoo, check out this title for the gorgeous art, another intriguing mystery (like what is *up* with the magic in the poor library?? who or what is to blame?? 👀) and of course the lovely characters we've been introduced to thus far.

Of Sense and Soul - I'm a regency romance girl. Like after you strip away the other stuff, I am but a poor woman with simple needs: a good ass love story 🤧💛 It's about the yearning and the slow burn and the will they/won't they/PLEASEEE they...I've never been so charmed by a demo, and the full game is going to be amazing I just know it!

Made Marion - This project is a game I've been keeping tabs on for a hot minute but hadn't taken the time to sit and properly enjoy the demo. I'M SO GLAD I DID!!! It's in early access now, so I'm hoping eventually I'll be able to carve out some time to play, but guysss Velvet Cupcake is doing the Thing?!? No idea which love interest I'll go for first, but I had a fun time meeting the Nottingham peeps in the demo.

Herotome (Super Demo) - Oh gosh. Oh gosh oh gosh oh my GOSHHH. Where do I even began?? (Really the question is where the hell do I end because this is one of those projects I talk about a lot/think about a lot and surprisingly haven't run out of things to say zkjfksjd). Another game I've been following for a while, it 100% lives up to the superhero genre in its aesthetic, the characters you interact with, the music and sound design, and of course the slowly unfurling story. Jade and Mia had come out as my top faves, Warden is still there, like hovering in the backgroud, shhhh but I have a special place in my heart for Griffin too (that conversation we have with her?? I have so many screenshots just so I can go back and reread and sear the words in my brain. Like a weirdo. Yup.)

Celestial Crowns - Stats building, celestial royalty, dating sim where you fuck around and find out your choices directly affect your MC's personality?? I'm sat. I supported the Kickstarter and now I try to practice patience for the full game's release siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiighh.

OTOME/JOSEI JAM

Please note this is a SUPER abridged list for my sanity and I fell a little more in love with these 2 jams with each entry I played...

Intertwine - As embarrassing as it sounds, I've never given much thought to the "red string" thing, and I consume more than enough romance media LOL!! But Van is suuuuuch a beautiful man, the UI for this game is so interactive and lovely, the music is ALSO lovely, just lovely-love all the way around teehee. (Also this game encourages replayabillity so like, do with that info what you will.)

Spring Boy [Demo] - I believe this game is going through a complete rehaul, so my thoughts and feelings refer to the original jam entry I played. The art is bright and cute and it's a super super short demo, but I was intrigued by the other student we meet on our mission to plead with our professor about our bombed exam lol!

Assignment Due: Project Blue - IRl group projects??? Suck absolute ass. Group projects with a guy name Asher?? Suddenly it's my new favorite thing in the world 😁

Cryptid Campaign Manager [DEMO] - Remember the last time I looked over a cryptid dating sim??? Remember how I was SUCH a fool?? Good thing I didn't make that mistake again!! The prologue is such a tease but you get an idea of what the full game is gonna be like, and I'm excited to see where my career involving love (and politics) goes!

Heart Cage [Demo] - Yoooooo I stay my ass far far far away from yanderes (could never get into the trope or the character type). WELP. Guess I just needed to keep searching because I really downloaded this off a whim--well, the whim being one of my fellow dev peers playing and rating-- and proceeded to get sucked in 🤧I thought being a detective would be the highlight, but I guuuueeesssss I was more into the romance options than I thought. Oops.

Evernight - I tried to explain what this game meant to me on the side blog, but words failed me. I still don't know what to say other than I loved it?? Which is like ummm I say I love everything, and yeah I'm easy to please BUT Y'ALLLLLL if you play no other game, play this one. Please. Date a werewolf. Or a vampire. Or a fae. Plz. Also figuring out the mystery of your MC's abilities and past is just delightful, ugh.

Bright Oak (demo) - Anotha one I wrote about on the side blog!!! Play this one!!! The writing is lush and atmospheric and the characters are all delightful and it's another game with a mystery to untangle!

The Faithfulness of the Universe- This one gets the award for most unique all around entry that I played. Theeeeee prettiest pixel art to bless my eyeballs, and this tasty mystery concerning Fate and witch Faustina's future (or lack thereof 👀) and what it all means. As a player I very much want to know what it all means!

A Cup For All Seasons - Another game that needs its flowers y'all. It's short but super healing and super cozy and the voice acting and music really tie the gaming experience together???

The Working Woman's Guide to Burning Bridges - DEMO - It's the way I played the demo twice and I've been thinking about it ever since 😭😭😭🙃 obviously life happens and things come up, plus this was a demo. But. BUT!!! I am on my hands and knees prayinnggg the team gets together again to finish the game. I love playing as a stressed, lowkey bitter hot mess who doesn't have her life together 😂somehow the fictional version is soooo much more entertaining!!!

Keyframes (Spring Demo) - After the game College Craze, this is legit THE college, slice of life visual novel of my dreams. I cannot wait for the updated demo next year, and the Kickstarter whenever that rolls around. And now that the developer is on Tumblr, I've definitely been stalking the account and reading each new post like it's my day/night/weekend job 🤧

Hello Counsel 💋 - Okay I take it back, Evernight is like a 20/10 but Hello Counsel is like an 100/10 👁️👄👁️ This game is necessary for my mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual health, alright? The banter ✅ the character designs ✅ the music ✅ the sizzling chemistry between Poise and Salem ✅ I wish this game had more buzz because IT'S SO GOOD!!! (also the dev, Miseri, is who I wanna be when I grow up. I've made it through almost their whole backlog of games and there are no misses and EVERY game is different from the rest and it makes it hard for a toodler dev--ME--to cope LOL)

Candied Hearts - Isekaied into a candy themed game?? Sign me TF UP!!! (Peppermint I love you dearly, you must understand.)

Fully Released & Played (at least 1 playthrough)

The Knight's Dilemma - I don't even know how I originally stumbled upon this??? I just know it had been in my backlog for a hot minute and I was intrigued enough to save it way back when. Y'ALL WHY DIDN'T I PLAY SOONER SKJFHFJFH! There's a couple different endings, I loved the voice direction, AND it's such a simple concept of a game that was just executed beautifully.

Trouble Comes Twice - If I had to make a top 5 list of romance VNs, guess who makes the list?? Guess. Guess guess guess. Have you guessed yet??? LOL! I have been in love with TCT since it's development days and with each passing month, waiting in anticipation, playing the Pateron beta builds, screaming on the main blog about every single thought I had about Jace and Hazel (shoutout to Jace for helping me figure out *me*) Lol if you're curious about said thoughts, those posts are on this blog and not the side blog.

Aelfric the Wondrous - 10/10 would love to forget my first play through JUST to have that experience fresh again 😭😭💛Cute and funny and a wonderful parody type game all around.

A Summer's End - Hong Kong 1986 - Goodness, there's no excuse for why this took me years to finish but anyhoo, I finished, I loved it, I recommend it! It's romantic and achingly authentic and the art is soooo gorgeous I literally can't stand it 😭

The Things You Do For Love - Unhinged yandere manages to entertain and garner sympathy and laughter from Gemini. And that poly ending is chef's kiss too????

Band Camp Boyfriend - There are a handful of games I found and loved before I began my game development journey, and this is one of them. BCB is so dear to me, because of the story and characters but also because of the Dynamic Duo creators and their team behind the scenes. I was never a band kid I was a chorus kid but just as the band geeks loved this game to pieces, us normal folks do too!! Even the boys who I didn't like I STILL managed to find joy in playing their routes (still have a few more to finish at the time of this posting lol, GOTTA GET THE FINAL ROUTE YO). Anyway, this game more than delivered for me and I hope more people keep discovering it!!

Belle Automata: Chronicle I [RELEASED] - While only Chronicle 1 is out at the time of this posting, I already know that the 2nd and 3rd parts are going to be just as amazing???? I wrote about this one on the side blog, so here's my copypaste that still rings true:  

I love TNP (The Nightmare Prince) but Victor’s route hit the sweet spot for me. Maybe it’s the slow(er) burn nature of this route, maybe it’s the reserved nature of Victor and watching him slowly start to care (AND NOT KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH THOSE FEELINGS TEEHEE) for me.

A Date with Death - I wrote about this on the side blog--again--. The demo. And then right after finishing a route. And then again where I was fully awake and still managed to sound deranged. No copypaste for that, I shall be nice. But yeah!! Another game where I was screaming at the sky about how much I love it and how I'll never know peace as long as I live.

Our Life: Baxter DLC - I need to offer an official apology to both Cove and Derek because falling head over heels, down the stairs, crashing into the parking lot, falling again but down a manhole for Baxter's infuriating ass was NOT on my 2023 bingo board??? HELLO???? I bought his DLC just to complete my OL collection. Was not expecting to love it this much. Was not expecting to be called to write fanfic and abandon all responsibilities to do this. WHILE DOWN WITH COVID TOO. Allow me to play the song of my people. *Send in the Clowns plays*

Our Cinderella - (this is so funny I'm taking about a side game before the main game LOLOLOLOL) Guys. Guysss. You guyyyysss 🥹if you're looking for a cozy, hilarious, equally oddly and wonderfully sweet short game, this is the one!! You may have your personal favorite Iggy ship (like me) but all the pairings are so amazing and just make sense lol!

Wylde Flowers - This is the only non visual novel game on here but it gets the spotlight because I did NOT spend 90+ hours on this game to gatekeep this beauty. No. It the coziest, the funniest, the funnest, the most addictive Switch game (after Teacup) I've ever played.

Fully Released (& still on 1st playthrough)

Garden of Seif: Chronicles of an Assassin - Life kicked my butt and then sat on me SO while I finally got my grubby hands on the full copy, I still have only played the entirety of the demo. But. We will return to this in 2024 and hopefully I'll have a full review for the next wrap up!

Our Wonderland - I looked back at the side blog and I can't believe it was only THIS year that I started OW??? Because I'd known of the game and the dev for longer than that??? So basically what I'm saying is that I was chicken shit for longer than I've been in love with this world that Developer Carrot has created kjzhhshggj. But OMG to get me, who is scared oh so easily to get hella invested in this clearly labeled horror game??????????????? And even with shit gets super absurd and hella disturbing, I cannot stop playing. At the time of this post, I'm only in Act 4, hence the category above, but it's only because I play each act in a sitting and lose track of space and time and myself. That's a compliment btw.

...

Okie!! That's 2023 in a nutshell! I played a looooot of really good games this year and while I would have liked to talk about them all, I think this list provides a nice overview.

Let me know if we share any favorites!

- Gemini 💛

[tokiwarcube]

Can we get a scenario or headcanons of maybe Toki and reader washing each others hair? Maybe after sex sweetness? I don’t know but feel like while Toki loves having his hair played with he also super loves playing with a partners hair especially if it’s long like his. I don’t know to me he’s the boyfriend to follow you in the shower whether it involves sex or not lol. I love your writing and have been binging your blog so when you reblogged me earlier I felt like screaming lol!

WAAA, thank you so much my love!! 🐇🤍🐇 You're so sweet -- thank you for the kind words, and the reblogs! (That Pickles interview was such a cool find by the way, holy!)

And we 100% share the same mind on this, haha -- he's so tactile, I feel like he would delight in having you rest on his chest, running his hands through your hair while he yammers on about anything and everything. And he is ABSOLUTELY the type to follow you into the shower, even if it's just to hold you... although he's not complaining if it turns into more.

I had an absolute blast writing this up, gave me all sorts of soft and fuzzy feelings -- thank you for the lovely request! Short and sweet, below the cut. Enjoy! <3

Warm water licks at your sore muscles, almost — but not quite — as tender as the strong hands that scratch gently at your scalp. You hum, content, as you press just a bit further into the arms of your lover, grateful for the large bathtub your paychecks provide. His heart beats slowly beneath your ear, lulling you further into a calm with every breath.

“Ams you going to fall asleep like this?” His voice is low, reverberating pleasantly with how close you’re pressed to him. Your lips upturn, humming again as you drag the blunt of your nails up his sides.

“Maybe.”

His chest shakes with restrained laughter. “It amnst safe to sleep in the bath, you know.”

“I trust you to keep me safe,” you smile, peeling your eyes open to look up at him. And it’s an obvious joke, but deep down, you really do. Not just now in the ever-so-perilous 2 feet of water, but always. Those pretty blue eyes gaze down at you with such a softness, such deeply-rooted adoration, that you think he’d sooner burn the world thrice over before letting anything happen to you.

“And it’s not my fault you’re being so nice.”

His lips upturn further, this time more mischievously.

“Oh?” The hand not tangled in your hair moves from its spot on your waist up further, digits resting coolly over one of the many, many marks he’s left in his wake tonight. “Ams you asking me to be mean?”

You whine out a half-hearted “no,” drawing out your vowels as you hide your face back in his chest. He laughs, moving his hand back to it’s position around your waist and resumes the gentle massage against your scalp. “That’s what I thought.”

It’s quiet for a few moments more as he works the product through your hair, finally carding his hands through your hair to coat the ends of your strands, before gently rinsing it out. You crack your eyes for a moment, spying the plastic Hello Kitty cup in his grip, neon corpsepaint scribbled onto her little face in rainbow sharpie, and smile softly to yourself. That’s your Toki.

He toys with the strands as the conditioner is finally rinsed from your hair, memorizing the feel of you with his hands. It’s only once he places a soft kiss to the top of your head that you muster up the strength to pull yourself up from his hold. You grasp his face in your hands, squishing his cheeks to form a pout, and place a kiss onto his lips yourself.

“C’mere, it’s your turn.”

[dairy-farmer]

Just had a thought about TimKon cuckolding kink: it all starts when Kon comes back from the dead and finds Tim in Paris and they have their heart to heart only for Tim to tell Kon that he understands if he doesn't want to date Tim anymore, bc Tim found out a few months after Kon died that he's pregnant - and considering they both know 100% that Kon is completely sterile, there's no way he's the baby daddy

And like, he was dead, so it wasn't TECHNICALLY cheating on Tim's part? Tbh I'm not sure who the baby daddy would be, but I really wanna say Ra's. If it doesn't work, timeline wise, then I could easily see Tim and Dick angry fucking before Tim leaves to go find Bruce and gets pregnant from that. Not the point tho

Kon finds he doesn't really mind Tim having someone else's baby. It's not like Kon could have gotten him pregnant instead, after all, and he's always wanted a family, especially with Tim. As Tim progresses in his pregnancy, they both find they're more and more turned on by Tim's pregnancy as time goes by. When the baby is born (and a carbon copy of Tim, so no one assumes Kon isn't the baby daddy, his being sterile not common knowledge among anyone that isn't the core four), they're both in love with her and with each other. Despite that, Kon finds that he misses Tim's big baby bump and heavy tits that he had while he was pregnant. They talked about it a little bit before the baby was born, but never decided if this would be their only child of not

At the very least they should wait until they aren't teenagers. Right? But then the baby if five months old and Tim is working on getting his pre-baby body back (or as close as he can get it), and Kon can't take it. He tells Tim he wants them to have another baby. This is when they discover that they have cuckolding kinks, and then later after Kon gives Tim permission to sleep with whoever in order to get pregnant, Kon learns he has an indefinitely kink as well, bc Tim reveals that he slept with A LOT of people with no idea who knocked him up. Kon finds this so hot and so... life continues on

They have more and more kids, convincing everyone they're just dumb teenagers who can't keep it in their pants long enough to wait for Tim to get birth control, when really they intend for these pregnancies to happen. Tim sleeps with many people, some capes, some strangers, some family and friends, and most of them are under the impression that Tim is cheating, and so they keep hush-hush out of shame. This helps with any allegations of who the baby daddy could be, so no one questions Kon's parentage

By the time they start slowing down, they easily have kids in the double digit numbers by now, a handful of them sharing a father. People seem to have caught on but are too embarrassed to say anything, bc some of the babies Tim has popped out are... well, clearly NOT Kon's, based on prominent features like skin color or hair color/texture. They're both super into it tho, and have a completely healthy relationship with each other and all of their babies, besides

tim and kon using the shame other capes have at having had an affair with tim while KNOWING he was married to kon to make sure they keep quiet is SO good especially if kon was actually listening while it was happening. he used super hearing and xray vision to be able to listen and watch while tim was getting knocked up again with one of their babies 🥺.

even years later when its clear that kon is not the father of all of the babies because of the powers they start getting but the people who suspect they're the biofathers still don't say anything because they can't possibly admit to the affairs they engaged with together with married person especially if they were ALSO married. (clark looking uncertainly at one of tim's babies that looks SO similar to jon)

just kon and tim having a breeding, infidelity, AND cuck together- they really are made for each other ❤️

[lets-try-some-writing]

HI

Directors commentary on either of these c:

Why not BOTH.

Swap AU

The Swap AU came into being when I found myself unhappy with my original Swap AU concept. The first one was rushed and I had absolutely no joy in my soul while writing it. The requester for the original was rather pushy and I just wanted it to be done and over with. So I decided to try again and write an alternate swap I could actually see happening. This Swap AU was actually fun to play with and I had a grand time running through the potential political changes that I just never got to writing about.

I actually wanted to mess with it more, but upon its original posting, the AU was not taken with much enthusiasm so I steamrolled onward with other ideas that were sticking. Although as a side note, Megatron in the swap AU 100% has reading glasses and I take no criticism. Orion for his part is not a short king, but he is an averaged sized buff dude and it puts everyone on edge when this normal looking guy comes busting out with an axe.

Twin AU

Let me just say that this AU was the start of my obsession with Optimus and Orion Pax being different people. Sure it wasn't actually an AU based on that premise, but the foundation was there. I saw some art of SG Orion Pax and SG Optimus Prime and it spawned a little worming idea that screamed for there to be two bots sharing a reputation. So then I just yoinked the Sunstreaker and Sideswipe split spark bond thing and chucked it in there.

This is actually an AU I REALLY love, but again, never got around to writing a lot for because it was not received particularly well on here. However a tidbit about the AU here is that Orion Pax was treated way worse than I implied in my writing initially. Optronix treated him like absolute garbage, and so now that his secret is out and the team know he isn't Optronix deep down, he is going to fall back to old habits. He may have been plotting the downfall of his twin, but Orion was loyal until the very end. He was trained to be the perfect attendant. Quiet, submissive, and unquestioning.

That will rear its head now that he feels he is not protected by the reputation of his twin. It was almost easier for him to just pretend he was Optronix and own his twin's sins. Now he has to deal with the people who thought he was brutally murdered by his sibling millennia ago.

[average-kitty]

can i request a Wednesday addams x reader (female if possible) where R has a secret crush on Wednesday and they share the same friends at school but out of all the friend group Wednesday and R are the closest to one another

basically one day R cracks a joke one of those criticism jokes like for example “that’s her man and several others” (i stole that line from a celebrity 😭) something like that and it makes Wednesday laugh? Not full on laughing but more like a chuckle and everyone (everyone as in the friend group yoko enid xavior etc) including R and Wednesday herself just freezes in shock and reader is not only shocked that she somehow managed to make Wednesday laugh but she is also trying to compose herself because she thinks Wednesday’s laugh is so beautiful and that Wednesday looks so beautiful when smiling and she’s trying not to gay panic

Also could you make Wednesday and R the same height or maybe R very slightly shorter

also for readers personality could you make her girly and social and energetic not loud just energetic not as energetic and cheerful as enid tho

Of course! Love writing abt the grumpy ❤️

A/N: This one is pretty short but I think it grasps the idea pretty well, Enjoy!

Word Count: like 100-300?

———————————————————————

You and Wednesday sat at the lunch table you and many other friends shared, talking amongst each other and cracking jokes as usual, then Enid decides to try and poke fun at you- “Didn’t you used to have to catch your own food when you were little? Like a cat?” You didn’t really mind the idea that Enid was being a bit rude, it was strange but wasn’t unexpected. You chuckle softly before you leaned forward and spoke with a cocky smile “Don’t you still play with dog toys?” Everyone was silent for a moment as they stared at you with shock, before Enid crossed her arms and pouted 

“Touché…” 

You all laughed at her reaction as you glanced over at Wednesday who was sitting next to you, and caught something you thought you’d never see- Wednesday Smiling… It was a complete shock to you, you stared and just took in the sight for a moment or two- trying to take on every little detail before it faded. She had soft dimples and the way she shook her head at the fact you had one upped Enid made her heart a little warmer than its usual cold and unmoved state. Everyone seemed to see you staring and followed your eyes to the rare sight, Wednesday was still softly chuckling to herself as she finally noticed why everyone was so quiet- quickly tried to clear her throat and hide the fact that she had allowed something like that to slip.

“Did you- Did you just smile Wednesday?-“ you questioned in a hesitant voice as she shot you a small glare “of course not- your jokes aren’t even laughable nor make sense.” She snapped back, you just smile and roll your eyes, soft blush on your cheeks- you couldn’t believe you- you of all people, not even Enid- you were the one to make Wednesday laugh and smile. “Alright fine, you didn’t.” You give her a small nudge as she glances away,trying not to give you any sort of sign that you won. Everyone returned to their normal conversations and joking around, you joining back in-

Wednesday sitting a little bit closer to you, listening to your voice a little bit more intently.

[to6ge]

IV.5 aftermath of the rain ( DENIAL )

woohooo, 4.5 ❗❗

quick recap : you wanted to sleep with your headphones on in the train ride, but Gojo didn’t let that happen.

You managed to successfully sleep, and Gojo also managed to take off your headphones and turned off your music playing on your phone. He was actually worried about you.

It was halfway into the train ride, till you woke up. That nap felt really good, and you enjoyed it a lot. ( most specially because Gojo made you lean onto his shoulder ) It was nearly just the two of you now. Nobody else seemed to be in the train, and it was so calming—peaceful, quiet.

“How long have I been out for?” You asked, with a tired voice. “About 30 years” he said with a grin, hoping hed convince you “No way Satoru, no way” You smiled at him back playfully.

You didnt pull away even when you woke up, your head was still resting ontop of Gojo’s shoulder. The train ride was near to its end.

It was raining really hardly, the atmosphere was so calming and relaxing, you loved this train ride. You could even sleep again if you wanted to. The sound of the rain was so calming to hear, it was dark but the signs in the train lit the train up—everything was so nice.

. — ☆ — .

You reached the nearby beach, it was dark but it was better that way. There were a bunch of stars bundling up together since it had just rained. Yet one of them stands out the most—so extraordinary, that star had shined nothing like the ones who were last adored. You immediately pointed at it to Gojo, with a big smile on your face—one that nobody had ever seen. ( except for gojo )

“Look look, that one is so pretty!” you ranted on and on about stars, and Gojo was just looking at you as if you were some kindergarten kid who was over the moon talking about their interests. ( he found it cute, he js doesnt know that ) “Were you always that into stars? You look childish when you rant about them” he teased

“Childish? Liking things are NOT childish!” you muttered. “I was just teasing, do that more” He teased you even further. “Better than hearing you complain about me,” he wrapped an arm around your shoulder.

Gojo and you sat down comfortably by the beach, watching the waves crash onto the sand, looking at the stars and admiring the whole surrounding. It was so pretty, so very pretty.

You proceeded to video you both, and all that was left to do was just to edit it. It was around 11pm now, the moon shined brighter than ever. Nobody was there, just you and Gojo.

( sorta time skip )

It was around 1.30 am when you came back to your dorm, you layed down on your bed as if youve never gotten sleep throughout your whole entire life.

You watched the moon outside your window as you thought about what you just did this night, it was fun and both you and Gojo shared laughter and joy.

The more you thought about him, the more scenarios you make up. You soon dosed off, a thousand different thoughts of gojo and scenarios of you and gojo ran through your mind before you slipped into sleep.

Your phone lit up the room as it buzzed, receiving a notification from Gojo. “Goodnight, thank you for today y/n. We are so gonna get 100 for this project ❗” —delivered, 2.47am Thursday, 14 september 2023

TAGLIST STATUS : Open

SUMMARY : IN WHICH! You transfered to Tokyo Jujutsu highschool, where your “enemy” goes. ( Friends that loved to tease eachother & get on their nerves ) Even before you transfered, you both had a rivarly ever since you were a kid. This’ll be so bad. Atleast you though so. Then, you both decide to fake date eachother for some reason,, and you didn't think youd even fall for him—but you were wrong.

NOTE : this took me so long to make ughh. :(( I have a chinese test tomorrow!! Didnt study because I was too busy doing this ongm im so gonna fail 💔💔☹️ when i say that kindergarten thingy..HES NOT INTO KINDERGARTEN KIDS OKAY pls dont misunderstand

prev || mlist || next

[rollercoasterwords]

PLEASE tell us your barbie opinions!!!!! pls pls i also have opinions

happy 2 share but i will be putting it under a cut bc. a lot of people seem 2 think this movie is god's gift 2 earth and i am not in the mood 2 deal w barbie evangelists lol so if u do not want 2 see barbie movie criticism just scroll away

will preface by saying i enjoyed the movie i thought it was fun etc + i don't think there's anything wrong with enjoying it or finding it fun or even feeling very personally empowered/seen by what the movie had to say. that's all very nice on a personal level and i understand why so many people are finding the movie cathartic.

that being said i do not think the movie was feminist or subversive by a long shot and seeing so many people talk about how radical it was makes me feel like i'm being gaslit!!! like. did we watch different movies lmao. maybe i'd understand a little more why everyone was being taken in if barbie had like, gone to the real world and fought patriarchy in the movie--but she didn't even do that! they introduce the concept of real-world patriarchy only to have barbie go back to barbieland and destroy fake barbie patriarchy (which is rooted simply in one man's insecurity and easily resolved by gently encouraging him to seek self-worth outside his relationship--not exactly a cutting examination of the material investment that men have in patriarchy which makes it so difficult to challenge) and leave real-world patriarchy intact at the end (the big #feminist moment for real women is...mattel's sexist ceo saying he'll use a woman's idea for the next barbie, since he can make a lot of money off it? he doesn't even say he's going to pay her for the idea lmao).

so all in all the whole "barbie destroys patriarchy" bit of the movie just. did not feel particularly feminist to me beyond a very surface level acknowledgment that sexism exists and is bad. and like--i get that it's the barbie movie, and people could say "well of course it can't be that subversive but it did a good job for what it was!!" but i'm just like. ok yeah then let's call it what it was...instead of calling it subversive?? also every feminist message the movie tried to champion was immediately undermined by its fundamental investment in gender essentialism, which remains unchallenged throughout the whole film. like--barbies are literally canonically sexless and so u can't even try to argue that the gender binary which their society is based around is anything but 100% socially constructed, and we see that that gender binary affords privilege to some and not to others and also leads to ostracization of those who fail to conform to it, yet the happy ending of the movie is barbieland just...staying that way. and i feel like the movie then kinda says the quiet part out loud when barbie becomes a "real woman" by getting a vagina like...ok. lol

so like. even the interior politics of the film i struggle to understand how it could be considered groundbreaking feminism; and then when we zoom out and look at the material impact of the movie that just cements it as un-feminist to me. this is a really good article about the beauty standards being pushed + perpetuated by barbie marketing, and of course as with basically any hollywood movie the rich (and mostly rich men) will be getting richer, cycles of consumerism will be perpetuated, etc. honestly the "feminist" aspect of the film almost feels insidious to me in this context, as if it's meant to provide the catharsis of feeling like there's been some big challenge to patriarchy while quietly reinforcing the systems of oppression it publicly decries.

and like. at the end of the day i was not expecting barbie to be a subversive feminist film nor do i think it like...has a responsibility to be one. and it's nice that so many people feel like they're getting something out of it! but i think it's important to evaluate both the personal and societal impact of the media we're critiquing, and in that context it just seems silly to me to claim that barbie is subversive. i also find the amount of rhetoric i've seen about how the movie "encapsulates the female experience" so fucking irritating lmfao like...i am sorry but the idea that watching a group of hyperfeminine women flirt with men as a method of destroying patriarchy (<- not an exaggeration that is literally the plot. flirt with each other's boyfriends to make them jealous so they fight each other. zero lesbians in barbieland i suppose) is THE quintessential experience of #womanhood...well alright then.

anyway. there is more i could say but i am going 2 get dinner w a friend so. stopping here <3 not gonna post the link but i do have a full/in-depth review on my substack if u wanna poke around over there!

[seodami]

Attention | CSN

Genre: fluff, a bit suggestive

Warning: Sans crazy duality

Pairing: idol!Choi San x flustered reader (gn)

Note: Choi San has literally put me in a spell and I don’t know how- I saw his cyberpunk stage and the video below and I just hdhdudbdldidjk … yes. This is we’re this story was born so enjoy and a good recommendation would be to listen to Collide by Justine Skye and Tyga!

„Y/nnn…“ San almost whined out your name, his body loosely sprawled over you, head in your lap, as you were sitting in his bed while reading an important book for your exam next week. You thought coming over to Sans would help you to finally get yourself together and read this book, you had pushed to the back of your mind for the whole last month. However, you didn’t calculate your boyfriends neediness and requirement of 100% of your attention.

„Play with me? Or just talk? We could also order something and watch a movie, I-„ your eyes momentarily left your page with a sigh, meeting his big shiny ones. God, it was hard staying focused when he looked at you like that - like you were his whole universe. Your hand found Sans soft cheek, patting it with care. You sent him an apologetic look. „Baby, you know I can’t do that right know, no matter how much I want to. It’s only half the book left and then we can do something.“ you tried to argue, eyes staying a little longer than they should, tracing his godshapen face. The pout on his lips really pulling on your fragile heart strings.

„Don’t give me that look, San.“ you sighed once again, finally tearing your eyes away to continue reading. „Is the book that much more interesting than me?“ he murmured, head moving more upward in your lap in order to get into your field of view. You demonstrantly put your book over Sans beautiful face, even though it is the hardest thing ever.

When you feel his fingers trailing it’s way under your shirt on your back, you tried to ignore it. Yet, you had to reread the same line for almost the 10th time to understand it. God, he always did that to get your attention, why did you think in the first place that you could read around this devilish boy?

However, when he started placing small kisses on your belly, you strongly shut the book with a loud noice, giving San a warning look. The boy flinched slightly at the sound, looking up with innocent eyes. Even though guilt bubbled up inside you, you couldn’t dodge your morals and ideals. „San…“ you whispered sternly now, making him pull away with a disappointed sigh. He didn’t look at you, when he got up from the bed muttering a quite ‚I’ll see what’s in the fridge‘.

You stared at the shut door for a few more seconds, almost regretting being so harsh on him. You knew all he wanted was to be together in your shared time, using your shared scarce time to its fullest. But this was important to you. You couldn’t fail this exam, you just couldn’t. So with heavy heart, you continued reading, still not quite 100% with your mind on the matter.

You didn’t know how long you were reading alone in Sans dimmed bedroom or how many times you switched positions to get more comfortable. But when you heard Wooyoungs hysteric highpitched laugh from somewhere in the flat, you got reminded of where exactly you were again. You already missed having your boyfriends presence around you, having his face nuzzled on your tummy, smelling his freshly shampooed hair.

A while later, you heard the quiet squeaking of the door, light peaking in from the hallway. You were too lazy to move as you just had a few more chapters to read, being sprawled on your tummy flat across the sheets. „Sanie…“ you mumbled exhausted, discarding the book opened on the nightstand. You heard his soft voice hum in response, closing your eyes momentarily for a rest. „Can you give me a massage? I’m dying!“ you whined overdramatically, waiting for his touch.

He hummed again, coming over to you, bed dipping down besides you. When he started massaging your back, you sighed in relief, totally relaxing in his touch. However, when he started massaging your shoulders, you were confused by the sensation. It felt as if he was hearing gloves. „Are you wearing gloves?“ you rotated your head slightly to get a better look at the boy above you.

And what you saw let your breath hitch, feeling your heart suddenly palpitate in a rapid manner. God he looked sexy. „W-what are you wearing?!“ your eyes roamed his bare arms over to his black cropped sleeveless top together with a leather harness. You immediately recognised the outfit to be his infamous stage outfit of cyberpunk. And you couldn’t deny the uncountable numbers of fancam you watched of his stage. This man made you literally forget how to speak.

The apparent smirk on his face told you he was enjoying this situation way too much. You flipped over, sitting slightly up to get a better look at your godlike boyfriend. Your mouth opened again, not quite trusting the random chain of words coming out of it. However he send you a dangerous look, putting his index finger teasingly to his lips, signifying for you to be quiet, immediately shutting you up. A pleased smile adorned his lips, making him look a thousand times more sexy.

You knew about his duality all too well by know. His cute adorable self most of the time being exchanged with this breathtaking version of him while performing had always been astonishing to you. But seeing him like this in private and this close up, in these clothes…your heart has proven not to be immune to his charms.

„Well look who’s quiet now…“ he teased you, standing up from his position, stretching his arms over his body. You were sweating way too hard, shamelessly staring even though you knew exactly he was reading you. When his dark eyes met yours, you pretended to look in any other direction, blushing hard. You could feel your cheeks burn when you fumbled with the book besides you, holding it in front of you to hide your embarrassingly red face.

You heard him chuckle deeply, throwing his head back in the process, hand reaching for the book to put it aside once again. You just let him do as he did. „Is my baby blushing?“ he cooed, finger underneath your chin, making eye contact with you.

„You’re so cute.“ he pressed a feathery lingering kiss on your temple. When your hands reached forward to pull him in closer, just wanting to hold him, kiss him, he dodged your grasp, smiling in the process as he tutted disapprovingly with his finger. „No y/n you need to stay focused and keep reading.“ he almost giggled, you could see it. Now it was your turn to pout. „But Sanie-“ you started but quickly got silenced by his intense stare, eyebrow quirking up.

God he was a little devil, he really was, but he was also the most gorgeous man alive. „So now I got your attention, mh?“ he tried to hide his grin. Your pout grew bigger, big sad eyes looking up at him, hands reaching out towards him. „Please?“ you whispered, desperate to have him in your arms. His facade began to crumble the moment your eyes began to glisten. Oh, he was so wrapped around your finger in the end.

With a few steps he closed the distance and let you pull him into a tight embrace, arms clasped around his chest. „You will be the literal death of me y/n.“ he mused, discarding his glove to stroke through your hair and over your cheeks, pressing a row of small kisses onto them. You slowly tried to steady your frantic heartbeat, hands grasping his bare upper arm, drawing small mindless shapes along.

„I’m sorry for earlier. I know I was too snappy.“ you mumbled into his neck, goosebumps running over Sans back when you pressed a small kiss on the spot. „It’s okay. I got my revenge now.“ he giggled, looking at your face for a moment with a content expression. Your eyes fell on his lips, letting him immediately know your next step. Still having fun teasing you, he quickly pulled away as your lips came closer to his. The confused look in your eyes made him giggle once again, mumbling a ‚just kidding‘, before pressing his plump lips onto yours.

„You know, you should wear that more often…“ you muttered absent minded while you snuggled closer into his chest, cuddling under the blanket later that evening. „Makes you look very sexy…“ you admitted way too fast. He chuckled at your comment, kissing your head, arms tightly around your frame. „Noted.“

[fluffypotatey]

Don't think I ever explained it, but the reason I like SWK accidentally killing Mac so much isn't actually for the whumpy apologies, tho the confrontation of it in fics is always so delicious, but what has me going insane is actually the layers of their relationship breakdown. Like, you have these two immortal monkeys, they are perfectly designed by fate for each other's companionship. There is genuine care there, and it never dies. Never. They were just torn apart so tragically. Nobody fell to the dark side, there was no jealousy, no hatred. There was just every manifestation of grief and miscommunication. You could never get the right words out. You couldn't help what came out of your mouth in that moment, the bitterness you would have swallowed back in for just one more morning of peeling tangerines in the summer breeze, all the quiet ways to say 'I love you.' Their break-up was like shredding bamboo, the faults and woes, the insecurities and failings, and the hurtful words and the entrapment and all the ways you can't reach, and the loss of everything and the denial and oh, the time just wasn't right, it all boiled over, and speaking a language that can no longer be heard, and the shattering of unconditionality. They had their own flaws, that you never could have thought would tear them apart, but it did. And they had to go on their own journeys of self-growth, had their own people and places they were devoted to, they were the only ones for each other, but they were not only meant for that. And goodness, was it the wrong time. Wukong, trapped, the loss of freedom he fought for, to be the strongest so he could be free and happy, and everyone else too. Macky, constantly grappling with having to follow the sun-streaked trail Wukong blazes, even the moon unable to pause the day unless the sun chooses to set in its ambition to climb higher into the sky, never coming down. The accident of it all? Even if Swk never did, the "did you think all this time, that I could kill you just like that? like you meant nothing to me?" is going to be SUCH a good broken, grief-stricken line delivery from Wukong. But if not, then ooh, the exploration for those who have a similar anger they try to control, when they release emotions externally, and might accidentally break something, those moments don't define you, but how could you undo the damage, how do you make it normal when its not an object you broke, you hurt a friend, it was you, but it also wasn't you had it only been, what if what if what if- if only, and that's a very basic explanation, and even I can't get all the words down right, but its just a realistic thing, how it all fell apart, I think. that conversation has layers, even if I explain it poorly XD you could grab every tragic tumblr post about fading friendships, and love metaphors with sharing quiet spaces and fruit together, and it could be them. also the "came back wrong" trope potential with Macky, ooh. is it him. despite everything, are you still you, could you ever be. are you the same person killed long ago, is this for the best, or shall we both start over again? can you be recognized underneath it all, and is that tragic or a second chance.

god they have so many layers and one of the cool things about lmk keeping Macky’s death and the specifics of shadowpeach’s relationship vague is how much nuance and subtext is left in there. you can peel back layers upon layers and pain upon pain and bond upon bond and still find new info and interpretations and nuances and—

I know you’ve seen me gripe about not being given enough info, but i do really enjoy it when the story allows us to infer and think deeply about certain aspects of the story. I like it when a story isn’t 100% clear or honest to the audience because that leads you to look deeper. think deeper. and try to fathom all the clues brought to you

(but i gripe about it because i’m inpatient af and like having all the pieces right in front of me. there are so many threads and plot theories i have on my little conspiracy board that i don’t want to touch just yet because i feel like i need more pieces before making a confident analysis)

another thing is that both swk and Macky are unreliable when retelling their past. they have their biases and emotions that are tied to the memories. however, swk omits the truth more than outright lies while Macky cannot keep his emotions away from skewing the past. and then the clear truth comes out when it’s forced out from them (think Samadhi fire and scroll memories)

(then again, swk doesn’t really say much of his past and likes to keep it brief. out of the two he is the most honest in terms of he’s self reflective and understands that his past self has issues. is he completely honest about shit tho? no but we’re talking about shadowpeach)

and the cool thing is that “the love was still there” in the past and even when both were on opposite ends. both monkeys were falling into a darker path and while they had communication issues the love was still there. and even while they fought under the mountain and even when they probably fought during jttw, the love was still there

but neither had the tools to save each other and neither really knew how to stop each other from their doom and isn’t that such a beautiful thing to analyze and think about on the screen?

[meowzilla93]

5 Years - Title pending....

I mean, i did promise to at least provide snippets of my little rewrite of OLBA with my MC August when i felt like i got something i wanted to share!

i am 100% rewriting this out of order and its coming to me in stages

regardless, this is a snippet of the walk August and Baxter share in Step 4, and gives hints towards Augusts' personality and issues she dealt with when Baxter left;

Cold confectionary in hand, August and Baxter start to walk back to the happy couples home. It suddenly struck August that for the first time in a long while, the two of them might actually be able to talk. So many questions race through her mind as she considers what she wants to ask; Did he still dance? Why wedding planning of all things? Why Rock only? But out of all those questions, only one truly demanded itself to be asked. Only one that has been eating away at her for longer than she cared to admit.

" I… Baxter I need you to answer honestly. When you walked away that summer, when you… Was that because of me? Was I 'too much'?"

Brown eyes snap to hers, wide from surprise at her question,

"What? 'Too much'? What do you mean?"

"When you compare me to Charlie, and well, Cove and the rest, one would call me a touch, outlandish. I'm excitable, loud, energetic, a big personality, the list goes on. When I was younger I simply thought that I had a great track record of adopting people into my circle that just needed that dose of 'August' in their lives; Too quiet for their own good and needed some excitement. Then you came along and changed that…"

August fiddles with her popsicle, quickly taking a moment to lick some of the wayward drips before they dropped onto her hand and continues.

"You seemed to not only thrive but… you responded to my energy, in kind. The banter and teasing and… well anyway. No one I've met has really been able to do that, but you did."

A gentle smile appears on her face before it disappears, "And then you left; Life moved forward, I met other people. I had relationships with them but… they all ended; When asked why, they all said the exact same thing to me. I was too much and they couldn’t deal with that"

Baxter continued to simply stare at August with wide eyes, not speaking a word, waiting for her to continue.

Using her free hand to rub the back of her neck from her own strange awkwardness, she continued,

"I… I just want to know, was it the same for you? Was I too much? Is that why you wanted nothing to do with me. At least then I can know if I am the probl-"

Taking a few quick strides to get ahead of her, Baxter steps in front of August stopping her in her tracks with a firm look on his face.

"August, I do want to be entirely clear: you are wonderful. Never doubt that. What happened with us, I do exactly… that to everyone who unfortunately crosses my path. The acquaintances I made at college, dancing partners, the friends I had since childhood; My parents, though, that’s is an entirely different story."

He waves his hand in the air as if to remove that last comment,

"The point of the matter is, excluding those I interact with regularly due to work, I have no relations whatsoever. That’s simply the way it goes."

He looks deep in to Augusts' eyes, honeyed brown eyes demanding that she trust the words that come next,

"You truly are wonderful. There was never a moment of 'too much' with you. The time we spent together… I enjoyed every moment. The reason for me leaving never had anything to do with you."

Unable to stop herself, August scoffed, "Enjoyed every moment? Baxter, your last words to me where 'If I could take back the time we had I would!' How… how did you not think…?" Augusts' voice trails off, unable to complete the sentence without her voice shaking.

Baxter's face falls, embarrassment and disappointment flashing across his features as he swears under his breath. He closes his eyes and takes a deep breathe in, before exhaling and looking directly at August once again.

Lifting his free hand, he gently brushes a lock of hair that has fallen on Augusts face behind her ear; So gently, like he almost scared to touch her skin directly because he would get burnt.

"It would seem that I wasn’t only dramatic but also moronic when I was nineteen. I know that you have no reason to believe me now but, I would never take back that time, not for anything in this world. It was truly the most remarkable, most magical summer I have ever had, I could never…"

His hand lingered near her face, hovering just near her jaw, before he pulled his hand back, clenching it into a fist and putting it back into his pocket. Whatever vulnerability he was able to share in that moment ended. Turning away, he made his stance on this conversation clear, that it was finished. His eyes linger on Augusts' for a moment longer before flicking away to stare ahead himself, resuming his task of eating his ice-cream.

He slowly starts to walk onward, and Augusts' heart is racing. She was a bundle of nerves and emotions and she couldn’t decide how to unpack what Baxter had told her. While he did answer her question, he created many more that remained unanswered. But one thing she knew for certain:

She wasn't too much for everyone.

Picking up her pace to catch up to him, she decided to continue the conversation with a softball question,

"So, rock huh?"

As surprised laugh left Baxter, his eyes narrowed on August with his signature smirk in place,

"Out of a hundred questions I anticipated to follow that conversation, asking about my penchant for choosing rock in 'Rock, Paper, Scissors' was certainly not what I had expected"

Without hesitation or resistance, a responding smirk found its way on Augusts' face in reply,

"What can I say, I like to keep people on their toes. Now spill. Why do you only choose rock?"

As a chuckle left Baxter, August felt a warmth build up in her heart, realizing how much she missed the sound. While she listened to his explanation for such a committed stance to have, August embraced the more relaxed atmosphere that had settled around them. Perhaps it was only her, but August felt that despite the intensity of the problems between them, being near each other was beginning to feel more comfortable again. And as their conversation continued, she hoped that Baxter felt the same way.

[pitifulwolves]

i have such an elaborate noah/mirage fic idea but im not much of a writer and i don’t know where else to share this

ok but i had an idea of mirage dating noah in his holoform and i just had to expand more on it (fyi im not really sure how a holoform would work and once again please ignore any mistakes, i never written a fic before 😭)

—

Noah is a closeted gay man living in the 90’s and yearns to be with someone romantically. Mirage could tell by the way Noah looks at loving couples in public, especially during their leisure rides. A part of Mirage wishes he could be that for Noah but its hard especially since he is an alien robot much much bigger than Noah. He isn’t too sure how Noah would feel if he knew how he felt.

One day, mirage was looking through some magazine Noah brought and had an idea of creating the ideal holoform that could be with Noah. That could share comfort and love with.

It was all going so well. it started with a little meet cute and it became more, they started dating and sharing secret kisses in public. Mirage thought it was what he wanted. He thought he would be satisfied, but he never felt more lonely. the more time Noah spent with the holoform, the lesser time he did with mirage.

But he pushed through. he knew he couldn’t experience normal human dates with Noah in his alt form, so he took advantage of what he could.

.

He slipped up. He mentioned Peru during one of their human dates in his holoform and a sudden realization just hit Noah. Everything came crashing down. He left, trying to find mirage.

He was questioning everything they had went through together. Was what they had ever real? Was this some joke? Was he fated to never fall in love?

His head was spiraling into confusion and anger and he marched up to Mirage, eyes puffy and red as tears dripped down his cheeks He screamed and cried, begging mirage to explain why he did so. He wanted to know why. he wanted to know if this prank was funny to mirage. He wanted to know if it was all worth it, especially after breaking his heart.

After his rage has calmed, Mirage admits that he created the holoform with be with Noah, but it was not to play with his heart. He wanted to be with Noah, he yearned having Noah by his side and creating a holoform was the closest he could get. he admitted everything and assured Noah that what he said and did through his holoform was 100% genuine.

Noah’s sobs were calmer as he looked at Mirage with his tired eyes. He didn’t know what to say. Deep down he knew he had some feelings for the alien robot but it was already hard to process his feelings as a gay man, so he pushed those feelings away. Being with Mirages’s holoform, which he didn’t know before, made it easier for him to move on because it felt normal. But now knowing it was mirage all along..he felt a little confused.

Noah admits to himself that being with ‘him’ was the best thing that ever happened to his life. He wanted to experience that again. He wanted to love and feel loved, with someone real this time.

Someone who was already right under his nose. or perhaps above his head in this sense.

Meanwhile, Mirage waits for an answer. Despite what Noah will say, Mirage chooses to respect it. He understands and doesn’t want to push any more boundaries. He doesn’t want to lose his friend. his friend which made his life on earth more exciting than it has ever been during his 7 years being stuck on this planet.

Noah finally speaks. He asks mirage to lean closer with his meekly voice, quiet and dry after sobbing his heart out.

Mirage complies and waits for Noah’s rejection. Instead he received a soft peck on his lips, which made his engine fan whir loudly. Noah smiles earnestly as he places his hand on mirage’s cheek.

Noah rested his forehead on mirage’s and they both stayed silent as they embrace each other’s presence.

No words were said but everything felt right when they were together.

—

i’m experiencing extreme brainrot

I’m going to sob, this entire idea is so so so good, as much as I love mirage being comfortable as himself to be with Noah, the idea that he wants what’s normal for Noah just hits different.

I feel like they’d very occasionally still have Holoform dates, granted no where near as often as before Noah found out the truth.

[mychlapci]

The G1 Harem Op anon here.

Okay so, we know Optimus would have litters for both cons and bots and after so long the heritage for either one slowly starts fading because of how many bots and cons can't get enough of that prime pussy.

100% the humans are so fucking confused when suddenly its declared the wars gonna stop, the second they walk into the ark they know why, little bitties either in play pens or being held and fed, and a prime, CMO and Certain warlord are no where to been seen.

Only walking out is the medic and Warlord and the two immediately go into respective showers to clean up, when asking where The Prime is its merely "he's bed ridden due to the bitties" and meanwhile Ops laid on a berth, his titles being milked dry because of how much milk he's been produced. His belly round with yet another Litter mixed of bots and cons and he's just blissed out, valve, soaked and mixed of fluids, bare to the empty room and the primes just a mess. The second another bot, maybe Irionhide and Soundwave, walk in and Ops in labour, they stretch him out, humans have no fucking clue what's going on until crying is heard

Idk if this counts as nasty per say, but I just wanted to share :">

yes yes yes i love the whole thing being extremely confusing for humans. the autobots and decepticons have been scuffling up and about for years now, then suddenly all goes weirdly quiet, and while the decepticons' constant attempts at stripping earth of all its energy stop, suddenly the autobots are pulling really hard at the energon reserves... whoever comes to check things out has a surprise waiting for them when they enter the ark and find decepticons and cybertronian babies. i mean, most humans aren't even aware these guys are capable of genuine emotion, and now they're having babies? and when they try to see the prime and figure out what's going on, they're quickly turned away- when asked why, the guards at the door simply say he's busy with the bitlets... i think humans get a pretty good idea of how the whole thing works at that, but the thought of collective breeding is so unthinkable and scandalous to them that they immediately try to erase the thought from their heads...

also mhfmmmm multiple mechs being in the room to help optimus deliver his litters. he's reclined on his back, legs spread and supported up in the air, meanwhile people are stretching his valve, rubbing his pregnant belly, caressing his legs as they twitch, helping him bring in new life once more...

[ruthlesslistener]

Do you have any vessel oc’s? If not, what are your vessel head cannons?

I have one (well, technically 2), but I don't really do much with them because fandom ocs are admittedly not really my thing unless I'm accidentally turning my player character into one (Aeris Sharphawk my beloved). My vessel ocs are a pair of twins called Hawthorne and Thistle, but Thistle was killed when they were both teenagers, their mask shattered beyond repair, so Hawthorne took their shade into themselves. They now wander the wastelands between kingdoms to bring gentle deaths and quiet burials to those who are lost, and are mates with a firefly called Flicker, who WAS a graverobber before Hawthorne caught them. I don't really do much with 'em other than think of them fondly sometimes.

As for vessel headcanons, here we go!

-Vessels who are capable of surviving outside of the egg (true-voided, or at least mostly-voided) have a body that is basically void doing its damned best to mimic the internal organs and function of living bugs. It's material that's working off of the genes left behind by PK and WL to construct a Creature, but since it's still just primordial goop trying to be a living being, everything is a little more elastic or flexible than a flesh-and-blood entity. Hence why Hollow could do their tentacle attack, and why Ghost could '''eat''' the crystal heart by just...idk, absorbing it through their chest

-Technically breathing and organ functions aren't 100% essential, but since they started off as biological beings that then were formed of void-goop, their bodies will panic after a long time without it. Just because they're made of void instead of proteins doesn't mean that they don't still need some semblance of a living vessel. Blame PK's genes holding a biological memory of being a wyrm pre-ascension for that one

-They don't need to eat unless they are lacking in void, though, so hunger isn't really a thing that bothers them. The only time they really feel it is if they are about to go through a molt and need a hell of a lot more void to grow bigger, or if they've been severely injured and need to regain a lot more of it. What they eat doesn't matter- they're capable of turning everything from bug chitin to steel into pure void

-Their masks are sort of the main thing holding them together because it's a strong reminder of what their form is supposed to be. Without it, their exoskeleton will dissolve and they will just sort of melt out as an amoeba-like being of void, which is what the shades are. Not being able to find their masks again/the masks being shattered beyond repair is what causes a 'death', where the shade is unable to return to their mortal shell and is instead damned to live in a transient state until someone dissipates their form. Entering another's mask cannot be done without explicit consent

-Because they were all formed from the remnants of a long-dead ancient god, they all share a sort of telepathic link, as if they were all still singular parts of one massive entity. Cutting themselves off from one another is possible, but it is distressing to the individual. This is also why they are far more social than the other gods; technically they all view themselves as one unit rather than individual parts

-Their communication is not based on an exchange of words, but rather on a lack of it. You can't really call void communication 'voidspeak' because of it. Even if they call or hum to each other, it is more of a vibration through the void sea or a deafening of silence that forms their communication, if they aren't just directly impressing their thoughts and feelings into the other's void so that they know what each other are thinking

-Speaking of that, they don't think in words, but in shapes and sensations. Technically speaking, translating those shapes and sensations into sentences is possible, but it would always be taciturn, awkward, and lose a lot of the inflection behind it, because you're trying to turn a three-dimensional parcel of information into a two-dimensional sentence with past or present tenses. It just doesn't work very well, and this is why very voided beings like Ghost or Hollow probably wouldn't speak very often even if they had the ability to do so. Same with sign; I headcanon Hollow to learn sign, but only speak in very simple sentences or single-word fragments, while Ghost knows sign but just doesn't use it at all. Better to impress their thoughts onto an other's mind than to bother with something that loses so much of their meaning

-Attempting to understand a void-impression on your thoughts is also quite difficult without practice. You have to actively listen and allow their thoughts to mingle with yours to get an idea of what they mean. Most of the time, it manifests more as you subconsciously understanding what they are telling you with a glance or body language than being actively aware that they are touching their mind against yours

-Void is tied to regret, the lack of all things, death, and entropy/lack of entropy. Void beings, then, are capable of sensing the shadow of regret within other people, the areas where their bodies are not, and what is set in active decay and what is held in stasis. In a way, they view people less as a form existing in empty space, and more the area where there is no empty space- if that makes sense

-This is also why void beings tend to be more passive gods. The Pale King, White Lady, and Radiance all needed active worship of their different elements to receive sustenance. In contrast, there will always be death, regret, fear, and silence given freely from the populace, whether they are aware of it or not. Active worship is nice, but it is not necessary, because there will always be someone who fears or is becoming one with the void