#and have to deal with people who refuse to interact with my culture unless its sanded down and anglicized

[funguslesbian]

If I have to see one more person talk shit about the Irish language I'm going to lose it. If I have to see one more person call the Irish language Gaelic I am going to lost it. If I have to see one more person make fun of the name Siobhán specifically I am going to lose it.

[randomnameless]

I'm convinced. These Edelgard stans do not have an ability to analyze media and are from another planet. How can you mess up basic FE facts that bad. I haven't even played all the games and I know the humans started the war in FE7. This is on the level of forgive me for the comparison, the 2020 election in America was rigged and everything is Antifa's fault. Ignoring basic facts. What the absolute f?

I usually try to avoid posting anything about politics on this blog, since it's fandom oriented blog but -

I heavily suspect there's a lot of bad faith takes at play here, or heavy copium because Supreme Puppet is, at least in KT's mind, a thing.

Back in my days, trolling was fun, people wrote 10k words as bait, then someone replied and the troll answered, in turn, with a "troll" answer outing themselves as a troll.

But here it's different, the lack of proper grammar, spelling and punctuation suggest a low effort low quality troll, and using arguments that were already debunked? It's as if it's a microwave reheated dish, it becomes soggy.

Still, while I think some are high on something that should not be legal, I think the horrendous lolcalisation did not help stir them in the "right" way, aka the way intended by the devs.

With all those Church BaD added elements (remember the Abyss NPC complaining about the Church not giving money to rebuil her home? and the "unless the goddess wills it"? + Rhage being, Rhage?) so when the game, which is already a failure because it tries to deal with different narrators but fails, doesn't even acknowledges its basic facts, what are you left with? A patchwork some people can use to push a certain narrative, if they bend the piece of tissue they took, bleach it, pass it 15 seconds to the flamethrower and ultimately clone it.

Would the bad takes have proliferated if the lolcalisation didn't lol the localisation?

I still think so because body pillows and cultural differences and refusal to interact with something that isn't specifically tailored for "a certain audience" (remember the CoS is a the (Roman bcs those people most likely think it's the only one) Catholic Church post, because they straight up refused to take into consideration the other themes and influences of the game, focusing on an aesthetic instead?) - but, imo, for people who were on the fence, the lolcalised version made them fall for a certain narrative, that was, imho, not the one intended by the devs.

IDK if the release of a remake will re-ignite the "elitist v. casual" player debate, but I swear if some wild takes are thrown about Jugdral, completely missing the point of the game, rude words will be exchanged because, hey, some people legit spent 10 years (or even more!) theorizing/analysing/nerding/fandoming about this verse and its 55 supplementary materials, because you cannot bend an already existing material to fit a certain waifu's narrative

(unless the devs do it first, like they did in Nopes, and rude words were spoken).

[dwimpala-67]

Whatever Happens....

My two cents on the whole Prequel-Gate ...

Warning: The opinions expressed are purely personal and have no bearing on any person and if they do it’s merely coincidental and are without intention. If you choose to read this, it’s solely at your own risk and the writer is not responsible for any consequences thereof.

Jared and Jensen have been at the heart of Supernatural for past fifteen years. J2 - along with the show have been the source of joy for everyone in the fandom.  We’ve seen them grow up, seen their friendship evolve and seen the way they interact with each other. We fell in love with them, with the beautiful friendship they share, and their compassion and empathy and strength and understanding. These two beautiful individuals weaved their way into our hearts. Somehow, they’ve become a part of our lives. And we trusted them, like we do with any individual that is close to us in real life.

The end of Supernatural was bitter sweet for many of us, especially the J2 shippers. We could see our beloved show being ruined and we all thoughts perhaps, it was time to end it but secretly still wanted a miracle to happen and the story line to be back to its true canonical nature without the OOC story line that was being fed to us. Then came the announcement that Supernatural would end with season 15. Even if we knew the it was inevitable, it was still a shock. We have a saying back in my culture: “Whatever has a beginning, has to have an ultimate end.” And true to that, it was time for Supernatural to end. It doesn’t mean we had to be happy about it. After all, this was the show that meant a lot, personally to many of us.  To see it coming to an end was painful, shocking, even heartbreaking. But we accepted it eventually because life must go on.

With end of the show, we had to accept another reality. To watch our lovely pair - Jared and Jensen- go their separate ways. For 15 years, there never has been a moment where J2 weren’t in each other’s pockets. We saw them refusing to acknowledge personal space, saw them making heart eyes at each other, saw them going on dinner and lunch dates, saw them living together, getting married the same year, saw them grow their family together, saw them living in Austin together, saw them doing campaigns together, saw them golfing together, saw them being there for each other, making each other smile, saw them having each other’s back. We practically saw their love blossoming - for some it was a unique friendship and for some it was more than that. I don’t mean to point anyone out here, but the bottom line is that everyone of the J2 fans saw an ideal relationship between two people we loved the most. We choose to believe in what we saw.  And for us to suddenly see them being away form each other was hard to digest. It still is!

But we chose to believe everything was good, because we believed what our eyes saw. The way Jared and Jensen talked about each other in interviews even after the finale, the way they spoke at the virtual conventions, the way they interacted on social media and even the few instances of fans seeing Jared in Colorado exactly the time it was Jensen’s birthday, the way Jared knew about Jensen’s Soldier Boy suit before anyone else, and I could mention countless such instances that made us believe that the relationship these two idiots share was special and perfect. The kinda thing that can be called “made for each other.”

One fine day, we came to know not everything was as we believed it to be. It turned out Jensen did something by not telling Jared anything about it when the latter has been an integral part of the original concept. Everyone was beyond shocked. Each one of us felt betrayed, angered, pained at the way our beloved pair had a public fallout. Some chose to take sides and some decided to leave the fandom while others decided to be angry and disappointed in Jensen. There was despair all around and no one knew what was going on behind the closed doors. The only thing we knew was Jared was hurt and Jensen was the reason behind it.

I won’t go into the what, why and how of the whole fiasco, because by now, everyone has their own theories as answers to these questions. I have mine too. I see these theories as some sort of “justification” from our side to make sense of the situation. It’s not wrong because we’re searching for answers. We’re also searching for answers we will never get. (Unless either of the J’s decide to speak on it.) But there are a few questions that I feel are important to be addressed.

Do we have the right to feel angry and hurt over the issue? Absolutely Yes.

Do we have the right to take sides? Of course.

Are our feelings of hurt and pain that we resonated with Jared valid? Hell yes.

Everyone has a coping mechanism and the initial emotions or reactions were absolutely valid. However, it’s what happened later that has me thinking.

1. Do we have the right to know what happened behind the scenes? Probably but we would never. There lies the uncertain feeling of “how should I proceed from here?” and “How do I feel about it?”

2. Do we have the right to demand an explanation or an apology from Jensen? Absolutely no.

3. Do we have the right to throw vile words at/abuse the people involved? Hell no.

I would like to look at the whole thing in perspective. This has affected many of us and perhaps woken us up with a hard slap of reality.

For all of the 15 years, we’ve been fed with the “happy couple” image and for us, maybe the boys became the image of the “perfect couple with no issues” and when there was a very public spat between the two, there was a serious damage to our perception. This is where people didn’t know how to react. Many spoke out their emotions clearly, many were sad, confused and scared and many decided to be bitter. Few decided to leave I have no problem with it, I don’t judge, as I said earlier everyone has their own coping mechanism.

I feel like the issue is, as fans we are here to celebrate and have fun and not become entitled to know the truth or demand answers from the celebrities. Sometimes we forget entitlement is a delusion based on self centeredness. The demand to know what happened or the demand for Jensen to apologize in a particular manner cannot be the way we deal with the situation.

We need to consider the fact that the people we idealize, in this case J2, are also that - “people” or “Humans” to be more precise. Humans make mistakes. Just like we do in our everyday life. the problem with celebrities is, anything they do feels like “more than life” size. Even a small compliment makes us go “aww” and a disagreement/misunderstanding makes us go “Omg! They’re enemies.” It’s normal reaction because we hold them in the highest regard like “celebs/fan favs can do no wrong.” So, when this happened with J2 everyone had a reaction like this was the end or it has ruined it for me, or I’m done with this fandom. There were also a few reactions like anger and entitled demands. I always say false sense of entitlement always brings you doom rather than happiness.

The fact remains, Jensen disappointed all of us. A huge blow was dealt to the “happy couple” image and we all were left floundering. I was observing the reactions and I suddenly realized I’m far too much invested into the lives of two actors whose lives are already complicated. I mean, after the entire chaos, I too felt sad, angry and disappointed. It was upsetting me more that it should. Fandom is a space where I come to escape from real life. But if Fandom starts affecting my real life so bad as to make me upset, I felt like there’s something wrong. It shouldn’t be the reverse of what I would rather have the fandom to be, which is a happy place or the place where I go too relive my stress. And if the apparent relationship status of two actors affects me this much, it’s time to take a step back, evaluate and then proceed.

the other day, I was reading a twitter thread full of theories and according to the fans who was right and who was wrong and etc, etc, etc. I found, it shouldn’t matter to me to judge who was right and who was wrong. I’m in no position to judge who felt what, because in no way am I the party involved in the conflict. It’s a conflict between J2, who had some issues obviously and they manages to talk about it and even let us know that they are good. Now, I personally, felt like if the J’s claim they’re alright, then why should I doubt or even theorize about how their friendship has taken a toll. If someone tells me they’re fine, I usually believe them to be fine, unless I see something contrary to the fact. In this case, either of the J’s didn’t comment further on the matter and just as I was watching everyone calm down, other elements decided to jump into the muddy waters and splatter it everywhere.

The interesting thing about Kripke’s tweet was “assumption.” This word “assumption” is a very interesting word and has the capacity to blow up even the most calming waters. So, Kripke assumed, and then based on Kripke’s assumption, everyone else assumed. I’m just pointing out what happened, in no way am I justifying any of the J’s behavior. Just a thought. So assuming Kripke was right we assumed Jensen deliberately kept Jared out of the project and the issue escalated even more. Everyone was jumping the gun and then as miraculously Kripke has tweeted, he also deleted those tweets. Then came the damage control.

When Jensen and Jared had tweeted about the “truce” I thought the matter was supposed to be put to rest. Perhaps Kripke deleting the tweets and then Jensen going back to promoting his prequel was their way of brushing off the conflict and focusing more on what was more important to them: The Winchesters prequel. Another theory to add to the already existing million ones..lol.

Does this mean we should be hateful and abusive towards Jensen? No.

Our feelings of disappointment are valid but it doesn’t mean I have aright to be abusive at Jensen. No matter how he acted nothing gives me the right to throw abuse at anyone unless I’m the one who’s directly involved in the conflict. They way I see it, as a fan, I was hurt and caught off guard but I am in no position to judge either Jensen or Jared, especially when they say they’re alright. I decide to trust them. I choose to trust them, just I chose to decide they were the made for each other friends in the past.

There’s this another saying that I remember “To Err is human, to forgive is Divine.” It’s not as if either of the J’s have been flawless as a person. Everyone has some shortcomings and so do they. As a fan, I need to find the same level of “acceptance” that I do when I’m in the similar situation in real life. As a fan I need to accept that Jared and Jensen too are going to have some issues going ahead in life. Just because they are actors doesn’t mean there won’t be miscommunication or misunderstanding. They’re not perfect. They are bound to make mistakes. Just think that because this was a very public fallout, we came to know about the disagreement, try to think that in past 15 years how many times did the J’s had these disagreements and had to deal with them without telling us? No matter how huge fan you are, no one can ever claim that they now what goes behind the scenes in the celeb’s lives and same goes with J2.

We know what kinda place Hollywood is, and the J2 tinhats already have theories about bearding and stuff, and yet the J’s have remained positive throughout. There must have been contracts and papers and the “powers that be” who are involved in regulating their lives. It’s one of the many countless possibilities. We don’t know many things about their lives (even we’d like to claim otherwise). The information we get is just a 0.01% of what actually is happening. All we do is “assume” on the basis of their SM interaction or the way J2 appear in public. It’s all imagery.

They’ve been a source for inspiration for many. So, a public fallout doesn’t mean we should overlook the past. But we choose to look at it in a way that is suitable to us. Again, there’s nothing wrong with that. If some of us feel like siding with Jared, it’s all good and if some of us feel like siding with Jensen, it’s all good. It’s their personal opinion and no one has the right to judge them or call them out for that.

For me, I’ve come to a conclusion that the secured bubble that I was living in has finally burst and given me a chance to look at things objectively. No matter what happens in future, I’m here to stay as long as I enjoy the fandom. If I let it affect me more than is plausible, perhaps then it’s time for me to rethink about the power I give the Fandom over me. Because it’s my choice. I alone have the choice to either let the negativity affect me or see the positive side. There’s a saying that goes, “You yourself alone are your own enemy and your true friend. The choice is yours.”

If J2 claim to be alright with each other, then I choose to believe them. Reason is simple. Because it helps me find some peace. It helps me cool down my emotions and helps me go back to enjoying the little things in fandom that bring me happiness.

 Don’t get upset with people and solutions because both are powerless without your reactions.

Let the drama continue....

After this, if you fell like unfollowing me, the door is always open.

In the end, whatever happens, happens for good. If it’s meant to be, then I’ll be the happiest and if it’s not, well, it’s beyond my control.

I love them both.

Peace and Love.

- A J2 fan.

[the-hybrid-lua]

I am using a screenshot and not sharing a blog name because I don't want people dogpiling anyone in the actual post.

I dont like this thought process at all. Some of it is probably because I grew up with early internet and there was a huge "don't ever put any personal information online" thing, and that personal information includes your age. Nobody on the internet is entitled to know anything about me. I share things that I want and don't care about sharing, but my age is not one of those things unless we have some kind of rapport.

Outside of that, in my mind putting your age online can make you a bigger target in some ways. As some of you have seen, I am very pro ao3 and all that, but I freely admit that there are creeps online. Making your age immediately available to everyone who comes across it also immediately tells them if you are in their age range. That's not to say everyone is a creep, and I am a proponent of intergenerational friendships, those can be very beneficial and help you recognize when someone is being a creep to you, but you still need to be careful. In my mind, making your age that accessible can be dangerous.

On top of that, you can't see the person behind the account a lot of the time. Now, I'm an adult and in my second round of college because I'm not using my 4 year degree. But what's stopping me from putting in my bio that I'm 18? How would you know if I lied? Or if I said I was 16? Some of my content might tell you if you scroll through enough, but I've also seen some young people post things that could have come from someone older.

You may consider it a boundary, but its not a simple or small one. To anyone who has gone through certain kinds of internet safety courses, it's a big deal and actually makes you look shady. Some people will look at it and immediately think "why do you need that? What are you going to do with that info?" Because that's something that I know from experience comes up in some of those courses. It is a boundary that conflicts with yours, but not putting up an age is also a boundary that people will have. That does not make them assholes (saying this because I saw a reblog that said not putting your age made you an asshole).

Also, this is tumblr. Posts move in and out of popularity almost at random, and a lot of people who see something will just reblog without looking at the blog its coming from. That's part of the culture of the website, and how it is set up. You say you have it obvious on your blog that people need to have an age, and I can guarantee that half of the people who reblogged that have not seen it. There are some people (myself included) who only look at their dashboard, or the tag search. They don't look at the blog itself until they realize "oh, I've blogged from you a few times" and then check to see if you're someone they want to follow. Or they will just scroll through their dashboard and follow whoever their mutual reblog from, because that is stuff they've enjoyed seeing and they want to see what else the person puts out. It's entirely possible that people aren't being malicious when they refuse to out an age. Again, it doesn't make them an asshole.

Moving offline for a minute, you can't always censor who you interact with based purely on age in real life. One of my coworkers that I am closer to is over 30 years older than me. Intergenerational friendships are not a bad thing. They can be, creeps exist, I won't deny that. But, as I said earlier in this post, having a healthy Intergenerational friendship can also help you recognize those creeps.

Please be safe online. I understand boundaries, but the online world is not always great.

[romolite]

*Important FAQ*

Aka questions that pertain to what I usually post about or stuff I don’t like getting asks about but continue to get asks about regardless.

[Insert any invasive question about my ethnicity/race]

I’m Ghanaian American. My parents were born in Ghana and I was born here in the US. I’ve seen it more on twitter and tumblr, but Black Africans don’t like me because I’m American, and black Americans don’t like me because I’m African. So I’m stuck in the middle lmao. I’m what you’d consider a First-Generation African, my parents are Continental Africans, and if I have children, they will be considered Generational African Americans.

First Generation African: A black person born in the US to parents who were born in Africa

Generational African American: A black person born in the US to US-born black parent(s)

Continental African: A black person born in Africa to parents who were also born in Africa

Non is just a prefix, black people don’t have a monopoly on the term! I suppose you think nonbinary people are racist huh?

Yeah sure it wasnt coined by black people but the context it’s currently used as was predominantly used by black people. ALL people who are not black benefit from and contribute to antiblackness, even if they are marginalized themselves. That kind of dynamic doesnt exist in other contexts (unless we’re talking about transfem + transmisogyny, but that’s something you’d have to talk to someone who is transfem about. Plus they have their own word for  “non-transfem”). Using it in contexts outside of antiblackness is appropriative (Yall are annoying as fuck with the “non-aspec” “non-lesbian”(this term also has anti-bi roots btw) “non-bi” shit etc, stop it. You also can’t complain about the “replacement terms” lumping yall with oppressors when “non-x” does the exact same thing you’re so worried about. “Cis” puts cis gays with cis hets, cis disabled people with cis abled people, cis white people with cis poc, I could go on.) 

Plus we’re talking about marginalized groups here. Black people are a marginalized group. Binary people as a whole are not so the term nonbinary isn’t appropriate at all.  I dont take issue with terms like “nonamerican” or “nonwhite” because (obviously) whites + americans as a whole aren’t oppressed for being white or american.

Basically using "non-x” in contexts to talk about oppression bad, everything else good.

Follow up: If we can’t use non-[marginalized group], what can we use instead?

There are other words to describe the people you’re talking about

non-transfem- TME

non-LGBT- cishet, or people who aren’t LGBT

non-trans - cis

Black people don’t have a monopoly on the acronym nb! I’ll call myself nb if I want to!

At this point I dont really care, go on your antiblack crusade elsewhere and out of my inbox, I’m always gonna mean nonblack when I use the acronym nb. 

And yes, you’re antiblack as fuck if you think black people telling you “nb” stands for “nonblack” is the same as exclusionists claiming “aspec” is for autistic people.

Is x AAVE?

I have a tag dedicated to what is and is not aave and how harmful it is for nonblacks to use aave given its history. I know some things overlap with southern culture but others are specifically for black people. A lot of “stan twitter” language/slang is just repackaged AAVE. No, I can’t tell you how to stop using AAVE. Don’t tell me you’re going to try to stop using AAVE, I don’t want to hear it.

Why don’t you like the n-word being compared to LGBT slurs?

Race and Sexuality/Gender aren’t comparable topics because each deals with a different history of oppression. I don’t care about slur discourse that much because I don’t even use/reclaim any myself except the n-word.

I have a problem with nonblack LGBT people co-opting black culture and struggle(like they always do), especially for trivial online discourse.

And to be honest it goes deeper than slur discourse. Every other day someone is weaponizing the oppression of black trans women, or comparing “cishet aces/aros” in the LGBT community to white/nonblack people invading black spaces (you know, something that ACTUALLY takes resources away from the people who need it, see the cultural appropriation of Black African and Blac American culture in literally any nonblack community while black people get demonized for said culture), or tokenizing their black friends to get away with something blatantly racist. And that’s not even getting into how a lot of gay slang/stan culture is just repurposed AAVE/black culture.

And I’m not gonna lie, I’ve seen this more with exclusionist accounts than inclus accounts, but it’s still not excusable for inclus to do that either. We get erased as black gay/trans/queer/aspec people up until it’s time for discourse accounts to bring us up to one-up each other

Can you give me advice on x?

Most likely not, because I’m not an expert or an advice blog. I’ll try, but don't take my word for it. I’m also tme, able-bodied, not Jewish, singlet, etc, so I’m not able to accurately answer questions about transmisogyny, (physical?) ableism, antisemitism, “sycourse”, etc.

I might be able to give advice on school-related stuff since I just graduated high school, but remember that students are not a monolith, and what worked for me may not work for someone else.

Can I follow if I’m nonblack/a minor/cishet?

Nonblack and/or cishet can follow but watch your step, minors blacklist the #minors dni tag before following

Why do you hate Ao3?

*long sigh*

I don't, I have a problem with the fact that it allows racist and (frankly voyeuristic) pedophilic/abusive/incestuous content to exist on its platform. It’s a good concept overall, but the devs are complicit in allowing “underage” and “noncon/dubcon” fics on their platform.

And there's the fact that they somehow need donations every year despite exceeding their goal several times over each year?

What’s wrong with Hazbin Hotel/The Ships/Vivziepop?

[WIP, as I have to go into extensive detail about this and I currently don’t have the energy for it]

TLDR: Viv made a half-assed apology for supporting racists (one of whom did blackface [yes the mask was used to do blackface shut up] to mock black activist) and drawing gross content. Her current projects including Hazbin Hotel are full of anti-gay/trans/aspec (Angel Dust, Vaggie, Alastor), antisemetic (Mimzy), and racist (Vaggie again, that yellow cyclops character that I’ve forgotten the name of) content under the guise of humor. If you’re into that shit, whatever, just don’t follow me and don’t whine when I make posts criticizing it.

What’s wrong with Hamilton?

Aside from the fact that it’s very obviously glorifying slave owners and made people worldwide believe the founding fathers were good people, LMM, the creator, is nonblack. This isn't his story to tell at all. 

Can you tag x?

I have a list of things I usually tag because they come upon this blog a lot. I cannot do catch all tags, as I have way too many followers for that. The closest thing to that is the “ask to tag” tag when there’s something potentially triggering but I’m not sure what it is. Everything is tagged as “x tw”. If something is extremely triggering, I’ll tag it as “major tw”

Do you tag slurs?

I tag slurs I’m not able to reclaim at all (i.e., d slur, f slur, t slur) or slurs I can reclaim but are being used as a slurs. I don’t tag the n-word, as I reclaim that one. I always tag the r slur

Can I message you about something/someone?

Unless you’re a mutual, most likely no. My DMs are only open to mutuals.

Do you want to be mutuals?

I don’t usually follow back people who follow me, especially if you’re under 16 or post things I’m not interested in.

Why is it important to have byf or about?

1) So I know gross people aren’t following me. This is not up for discussion

2) So I know someone’s not speaking out of their lane, which tends to happen a lot. (i.e, someone refusing to disclose that they are tme when discussing transmisogyny, someone not having their race listed when discussing racism)

3) Some people don’t want to interact with people under 18 or over like 30 or something.

Yeah, yeah, people aren’t entitled to personal information and all that crap but I have a serious problem with people speaking on topics from a place of privilege. Not to say they can’t talk about those things, just perhaps add a disclaimer that you’re privileged when talking about these things and be open to criticism, and NOT blocking people of the said marginalized group when they tell you something you’ve said was problematic.

I also have a problem with people who are intentionally vague about their age. There’s a difference between interacting with someone who’s 20 and someone who’s 29. I don’t want to say it’s the opposite for minors but at the same time there’s a difference for saying something racist at 13 and doing so at 17, and keeping your age vague makes it harder to determine how to deal with something like that. (Not that 13-year-olds shouldn’t know better, it’s just I don’t feel whole ass callout posts and receipt blogs are necessary for someone of that age).

Also anyone under 16, I can't stop you from following, but keep your interaction limited, please. This isnt an 18+ blog but I do rb suggestive jokes from time to time

I sent you an ask and you never answered it!

It’s likely that

I never got it

You were blocked

I’ve already answered this or it’s been answered in my faq

It’s a random positivity ask (which I appreciate but not sure how to respond to those)

You were rude in your ask and I didn’t feel like answering

I forgot until it was too late, which happens when my inbox gets a lot of asks at a time.

You sent it to the wrong blog (I.e, sending asks about my ocs to this blog instead of @ochood )

Hey, the op is [insert post] is [someone on my dni]! I usually double-check myself, just to be sure.

Have you heard about [someone who is mutuals with someone I’m loosely connected with]?

Most likely, no. And unless they’re an immediate danger to someone or they’ve got my name in their mouth, I don’t care.

Do you know who [x person/group/thing] is?Most likely no. Not to sound like a hipster but I don't usually keep up to date with trends. If I do hear about something, it’s most likely from twitter or Instagram.

Why am I blocked? Check here.

Why do you continuously move mains/change URLs/update themes?

I’m inconsistent. And sometimes there are posts on my blog that I no longer stand by.

Can I tag you in posts I think I’d like?Of course! 

[ofbloodmagick]

ROSE ARABELLA GORE

pronouns: SHE & HER + THEY & THEM

age: TWENTY - FIVE

sexuality: PANSEXUAL * DEMIROMANTIC * MONOGAMOUS

astrological signs: GEMINI SUN * SCORPIO MOON + ARIES RISING

occupation: BARTENDER @ DUTCH’S + MULTIPLE SIDE HUSTLES

+ traits: PERSUASIVE. ARTISTIC. RESILIENT. FASCINATING. ORIGINAL. RESOURCEFUL. WISE. ADVENTUROUS. BOLD.

-- traits: ECCENTRIC ( CREEPY ). SECRETIVE. DAMAGED. RESTLESS. TWO-FACED. JUDGMENTAL. RECKLESS. IMPULSIVE.

faceclaim: BILLIE LOURD

soul sounds: PLAYLIST !

aesthetic: ( TW: BLOOD ) BOARD !

YO YO YOU YO — it’s lydia here with my lil blood witch arabella , i have yet to get the chance to  r e a l l y  play her and i’m super excited for the chance bc i love them so very much. i have headcanon after headcanon for them , so hit me up if you want to do something bc i am ready to do some shit. anyway , LYDIA ( nary , nettle , snottie , etc. ) here again and i love a good name change , i’m twenty-five years old , a pansexual demigirl ( she / her * they / them ) like arabella themselves , and i reside in the central timezone ( FLORIDA IS HELL ). continue reading to learn all about ARABELLA GORE — the intense , mysterious clever little powerhouse that loves to be number one. 

PERSONALITY

RULING PLANETS: pluto — planet of power & regeneration * mercury — planet of communication * mars — planet of war & energy BODY PART: crotch * reproductive organs * shoulders * hands * head * face GOOD MOOD: resilient , magnetic , passionate , loyal , protective , artistic , brave , fascinating , original , resourceful , wise , adventurous , unstoppable , bold , devoted  BAD MOOD: obsessive , possessive , jealous , secretive , vengeful , manipulative , eccentric ( creepy ) , restless , two-faced , judgmental , proud , self-centered , impulsive , bossy , stubborn , reckless  ( SOME ) FAVORITE THINGS: obscure underground music , spicy food , an air of danger , one of a kind objects , organic ingredients , vinyl , magic , the color black , horror films , blood , fast cars , guitars , new clothes , road trips ( in fast red cars ) , expressing themselves through stunning verbal and physical feats ( SOME ) THINGS SHE HATES: simple small-minded people , insincere flattery , personal questions , living at someone else’s house , mornings , dress codes , authority figures , silence   SECRET WISHES: to have complete and total control +  to have all the answers + to be number one HOW TO SPOT THEM: intense eyes , hawk like gaze , smooth movements , dry blood/bruises/cuts/scars on pale skin , silver hair , big black bow , mischievous twinkle in their eyes , talking with their hands , focused or manic energy , aggressive stance WHERE TO FIND THEM: listening to bauhaus in her dark room , sitting at the corner table of a shitty underground bar smoking a cigarette , selling her magic and / or blood in some dimly lit room  KEYWORDS: intimacy , secrecy , power , intensity , obsession , cleverness , wittiness , inventiveness ,  ingenuity , willpower , initiative , determination , passion , self-belief

arabella’s mind and mouth are busy machines , always moving at warp speed. this witch is one of the most curious and cutting-edge individuals you will meet. there are at least two personalities inside of her at all times. adventurous , she can change her mind faster than the weather and is constantly flipping between moods. 

a true pioneer and trailblazer they’re the first to initiate things , fight for their beliefs and fearlessly put themselves out there. headstrong and determined , ella’s energy can be stubborn and willful a lot of the time. she does have a tendency to dig in her heels , stand her ground and absolutely refuses to be pushed around. 

they will butt their own metaphorical horns against the same obstacle until they break it down — often with sheer force of will. extremely confident , she believes in herself and will on occasion champion others she deems worthy.

she does love to chatter and has a million great ideas , always keeping a notebook handy to jot down her thoughts and ideas at any time. at times , their energy can circulate in a quick and frenetic way , the silver haired wiccan is known to inspireswitty wordplay and dynamic dialogue. 

when she applies herself , arabella is great at brainstorming and socializing. she also craves her “ twin flame ” and kindred spirit’s energy , always up for an intellectual meeting of the minds. 

under the influence , they find themselves with the gift of gab; talking and conversing with others for hours , hopping from pop culture trends to deep political topics. beware “ gossip girl ” ella though , they can crank up the rumor mill sometimes unknowingly. as renowned dr. bernie siegel says , “ [ we ] have the ability to cure with either ‘ words ’ or kill with ‘ swords. ' ” 

powerful and sensual arabella is perhaps one the most misunderstood and mysterious person you could ever meet though. secretive by nature , this southern witch tends to linger in shadowy and hidden places that most wouldn’t usually have the courage to face.

she believes strongly in life , death and resurrection and arabella embraces these life cycles. she is continually transforming and reinventing herself. there are actually more like four sides of arabella and it really just depends how she feels about you.

the first is venomous and possessive like a scorpion ; the second as slippery , charming and deadly as a snake ; the third like a soaring eagle whose piercing gaze sharply observes the landscape ( and its prey ) below ; and the fourth side ever burning and all seeing as a phoenix that rises up from the ashes into eternal rebirth.

your muse may find themselves dealing with an intense individual with lots of energy. she has been known to hole herself up late at night to process complex emotions or channel her overwhelming feelings into focused work and creativity.

the essence of arabella’s personality is magnetic , fascinating , original , passionate , loyal , protective , trendsetting , controlling , unstoppable , bold , powerful , resourceful , wise , adventurous , focused , bond oriented and brave. on the flip side though , she can also be obsessive , possessive , jealous , prideful , self-centered , impulsive , bossy , stubborn , reckless , competitive , two-faced , judgmental , overwhelmed , secretive , vengeful , to even cruel , calculating and manipulative. 

she channels her intuitive tides into a forceful stream of psychic and healing energy. arabella excels in exploring the darker , unexamined sides of life. it has given her excellent research and sleuthing skills , helping her plumb the depths and peer below the surface. this witch likes a challenge , but she does have to really try hard not to fall into being selfish and domineering.

she will without question help out in the darkest hours; this witch bitch is not afraid to go into the murky waters of the emotional and spiritual unknown. intense feelings surface around her closest ties , but around those she isn’t close to ella has a wall up.

believes strongly in merging , bonding and sharing resources. she may get obsessive about a passion project or lover ( forrest ) , even becoming jealous or insecure. this mysterious demigirl wants to hide all of their vulnerabilities. yet , those raw and unprocessed feelings are often their access to power.

arabella can be tricky to understand. with her reserved persona , she seldom starts a conversation or expresses interest in others openly — unless she feels out the situation first.

once you get her to open up , however , you’ll feel her scorching passion for whatever topics fascinate her. be warned: arabella can focus on one subject to an extreme , so you may be in for a deeper dive than you or your muse expect — or want lol

her natural charisma can quickly pique someone else’s interest in the topic too though. 

another way to spot the witch ? look for her piercing gaze , which is hawk like at times narrowing in on her “ prey ”. if you happen to be the focus of that look , watch out.  you will feel read as easily as a children’s book as arabella seems to just KNOW all your secrets , soft spots and fears.

their focused attention can be addictive , even painful when pulled away. be careful how quickly you fall down their rabbit hole — it’s not as easy to crawl back up once you do. when you befriend them , you are likely entering into a power couple or formidable alliance. while she doesn’t give up loyalty and trust easily , once she does she’ll stick with you through thick and thin.

don’t even think about double crossing her tho bc she WILL unleash her fury on you , divulging secrets and airing dirty laundry or worse. revenge is her favorite dish to serve and it’s ice cold. on a positive note , arabella’s like the perfect person to help explore darker emotions or sexuality , happy to guide most through fifty plus shades of irresistible and soul communing experiences.

arabella can come across as clever and quick-witted , but part of the fun ( and curse ) of interacting with the witch is that you’re never quite sure which personality you’re going to experience. will it be the vivacious jokester or the snarky , mean-spirited critic ? 

although they may crave complete and utter control over everything , they secretly yearn for the very thing they fear: true intimacy with others. it takes a lot for ella to reveal her vulnerability , so guard that privilege with the utmost care. as she opens up and learns to show her shadow side , she can heal in ways that are truly profound.

highly impatient and competitive , they have the fighting spirit. ella were born to be number one , a star who steals the spotlight and inspires with her confidence. yeah , they can be impatient , even a little bossy , especially when they don’t get their way. she need lots of attention and can throw quite the tantrum when she doesn’t get it. fortunately , arabella rarely has a problem turning heads.

others love to follow as they take the lead on the latest adventure. she has to be reminded to make sure and let other people be the boss every now and then too , because she has a tendency to alienate potential allies. when they focus their competitive streak into a diva-worthy goal and delegate , they will always rise to the top !

they have a lot of energy , which they apply to everything from tackling supersized projects to unleashing their lusty libidos with forrest. this confident demigirl is known to leap before looking , diving into each new experience with a zest for life that few others can muster. 

they love to be number one and can be a bit of a trendsetter. she has been described before as ‘ a true original who inspires the rest. ‘ with all of their fire power and can-do attitude , there’s nothing arabella can’t ( or won’t ) take on. at times , ella can be selfish or overly focused on herself and it can be a “ blind spot ” for them , they may need a gentle reminder from time to time to share. 

she likes to shatter glass ceilings but can also be off-putting to people in extreme doses. this go-getter can come across as abrasive or overly aggressive , however; arabella will never back down from a challenge and can take on being the champion of those in distress when need be.

BACKGROUND

( TW: child abandonment ) so arabella doesn’t know her parents are but she does know that they ended up in some small southern town called suspiria , located in virgina of all places. her mother was really into the surface level southern gothic aesthetic suspiria offered and the unlikely couple settled there until arabella was born. her parents didn’t keep her very long though seeing as their shotgun wedding was never built to last and after she was born they both returned to where they came from or at least that’s as far as the story goes if you ask anyone in suspiria. 

( TW: military ment. , death ) her parents actually went their separate ways , her mother returned to her wealthy family and comfortable life never to seek out the unnamed child she’d left behind in some no name town. her father went on to join the military and was lost in the line of duty with no one to even pass that knowledge on. 

the infant rose , as they were first called back then , was left on the doorstep of an orphanage and that was where they would spend their childhood. it was not a pleasant place to grow up at all , but she was incredibly lucky in finding her twin flame in a sad , lonely young boy also growing up there.

little ella was never once adopted and she made damn sure to change the minds of anyone who so much as looked in her direction or asked her name. they grew an unhealthy attachment to forrest almost the minute they laid eyes on him , but they are connected very deeply and even as children arabella was acutely aware. 

growing up ( maybe even to this day ) they were considered a loner , an outsider , the weirdo , a creepy kid , etc. and the bullying only got worse. the people in the shitty children’s home and the tiny backwoods town in virginia ? they didn’t really respond too well to the two strange kids that collected animal bones and hunted for ghosts. 

in their early teen years ella started practicing satanism , but that was really just a gateway religion into wicca and her true passion , witchcraft. forrest took to it just as quickly as they did and soon the two had formed their own little coven , something that didn’t stay secret very long.

forrest , being the more scholarly of the two , found himself working for the governor on his campaign and eventually recruited arabella to do the same , but she worked more closely with the governor’s wife and the children. it only took a week , two tops , for the power hungry woman’s true intentions to came to light — dark magic.

( TW: cheating , infidelity )it’s true that ella helped with the gardening , the children , the cleaning , the cooking , all the usual suspects but she also did a number of spells involving blood and shadows. the items they created most for the governor’s wife was their own recipes for love potions and anti-aging blood serums. the woman was extremely suspicious of her husband having affairs with younger women , pretty self explanatory as to why she was seeking help from a known magic user. 

( TW: blood ment. , devil ment. ) it was something of a hot topic in suspiria , the governor and his family hiring the two freaky orphans and why. not long after , a photo was leaked of the governor’s wife as arabella painted her face in the bright crimson blood serum they had concocted themselves. it was common knowledge by then that the two practiced witchcraft and suddenly every headline was about the governor and his wife being ‘ corrupted by the evil devil worshipers the kind family had taken pity on. ‘ 

( TW: assault ment. , death , arson , house fire ) the town ? literally ready to burn them at the freaking stake and the two couldn’t go anywhere without fear of assault of some sort or worse. to make matters all the worse , the governor’s wife and children perished suddenly in a terrible house fire and who was the easiest target to pin it on ? arabella and forrest , the two town rejects , which is exactly what the governor did. they were treated as murderers , hunted like criminals , which is why as soon as they found out about the raging fire they left town. 

( TW: death ) for the next four years arabella and forrest were on the run from the governor and his goons , not stopping in any one place for very long for fear of being caught up to. over a year ago they finally got word that the governor had kicked the bucket and that anyone still looking for them likely had stopped by now. not long after , arabella came across a beautiful , vintage gothic home far more expensive than it was priced , but luckily for them the home had a rather grisly history and had been on the market for so long that the owners had cut the asking price tremendously.

( TW: scamming ) arabella was convinced that it was a sign from the universe letting them know it was okay to settle down for good now and once she’s convinced there’s no real changing her mind. so , by halloween of 2019 they were moving into the beautiful gothic home of the witch’s dreams and not long after they had rooms in their ‘ haunted home ‘ listed on every website possible to lure in dark tourists everywhere. how true everything is ? well , the two did take quite a few creative liberties and the occasional diehard , truly experienced fan of the paranormal would ( possibly have ) call them con artists. 

( TW: scamming ) not only do they rent out rooms , but they also have the occasional ‘ murder tour ‘ of their ‘ serial killer ‘ house. what it really boils down to is arabella has been hustling their whole ass life and it’s never going to stop. there is quite a bit of truth to their stories , but though both ella and forrest have encountered the paranormal multiple times in their lives , not just in pleasance either , they’ve never had any real activity that could count as reliable proof. everything involving the businesses run out of the house are little more than sideshow entertainment for pleasance dark tourists.

( TW: blood ) the witch also has a part time job working for jules at dutch’s , her official title would be a bartender but she really just does what is asked of her. you probably guessed it already , but she does also have a side operation selling her blood magic from underneath the bar at dutch’s and they’re hopeful that their boss is none the wiser.

ETC.

she does still have a slight accent because she is from such a small town where everybody had a drawl or twang. she doesn’t have a good education by typical societal standards , because she had such shitty public education growing up as an orphan and no one who enforced her learning or attending. they are , however;  incredibly street smart and by no means stupid. they have since taught themselves how to learn in a way best for them and are always devouring book upon book in order to teach themselves things otherwise she may never know. 

( TW: blood ) ella is a blood witch and often uses her own blood , animal blood , someone else’s blood , pretty much if there’s blood in any form she’s set. she 100% sells her magic to anyone who wants it and does dabble in the shadow side. it might not actually work all the time , but that’s not entirely her fault. 

( TW: bruising / injury ment. , blood , scar ment. , self harm ) a pretty big feminist , used to be in an all femme band called the hex girls ( come for me ) , goth and proud ??? a really big horror movie fan , pansexual demigirl representinggg ! always has bruises and cuts , dried blood covers their skin a lot where they miss it or just don’t care to hide it , also has quite a few scars from where she’s cut too deep ( some maybe on accident , some maybe on purpose ).

( TW: blood ) ella’s very creative ! they like to read , write , make art — out of blood lol she uses blood of all types to create a lot of art. she takes blood baths ( animal blood ) occasionally on the full moon , drinks animal blood during certain rituals , etc. also super into bone and taxidermy , you can definitely find her at deblanc’s. they also like to haunt the cemetery and creep around spotlight cinema , film is a big passion of hers. 

( TW: drugs & alcohol ment. , blood ) DOES imbibe lol a partaker of alcohol ( prefers animal blood with red wine or vodka ) and certain drugs. ella definitely smokes weed & cigarettes , they enjoy partying just like the rest but she’s more reserved and likes to people watch.

okay so it’s getting late and i can’t believe how long this intro actually took me to finish tweaking , but if you want to plot with me pls pls pls hit me up bc i’d love to do some stuff !! my tumblr DMs are always open and you can always hmu on discord too !! i also write bryce winslow ( milo ventimiglia FC ) but you likely know that lol. i’m sure there’s more i could say about arabella honestly , but if you have any specific things you’d like to know or it seems like i left something out or need to take a second look at something i’d appreciate any / all feedback. can’t wait to get some replies out , but that might have to wait until the morning. @phqextras​

[gunnerpalace]

So how would you rewrite it? I think you said something about doing that?

That would be the subject of Hyperchlorate Part III. (Part II again being detailing everything that went wrong, and Part I being going over what made the story unique.)

In essence there are the four major changes I would make to Bleach:

Radically expand upon (and show, don’t tell) character relations in the story. We are repeatedly told that so and so are friends, or family, or colleagues, or whatever, and we essentially never see it (outside of Tatsuki and Orihime at the very beginning). It’s critical to caring about and interlinking the characters and seeing them grow and develop. For example, someone made a point that the Xcution arc demonstrates Ichigo’s bonds with Soul Society are stronger than with his own friends. That’s true, and you can see it in the Japanese cultural context of him using their first names (even for Toushirou!) whereas he keeps calling Uryuu and Orihime by Ishida and Inoue. There’s a definite social distance there. But it’s a subtle thing. And it really needs to not be subtle. There needs to be a lot more interactions between characters; plenty of characters literally never interact at all, and plenty of characters look fucking terrible for their apparent gross negligence that serves zero point other than to maintain the Mystery Boxes (here’s looking at you, Isshin, Ryuuken, and Kisuke).

Recontextualize everything after the Soul Society arc. I am not opposed to certain places, people, or concepts (e.g., Hueco Mundo, the Espada, Fullbring, the Soul King, etc.) but the way they were introduced and handled was, frankly, garbage. Arrancar, at least, were set up rather early on. The rest… was a bunch of ex nihilo shit. It came out of nowhere with no setup. I also don’t really enjoy the thematic inversion of Hueco Mundo seemingly purely for the sake of subverting expectations. So, I would restructure everything that happens after that point in gross detail.

Refit, standardize, and clearly and consistently implement and allude to the grand plot. If there was going to be some grand purpose to the Bleach universe, it needed to be made clear textually, not just thematically, throughout the story. It needs to be set up to the reader, if not to the characters, very early on so they “get” what everything is building toward. That absolutely was not done.

Having a real ending that actually involves our protagonists making a substantive change. I’ve definitely been over this before.

That’s all well and good, right? So what sort of things would I actually look to change?

As an example of the high-level stuff… In terms of narrative, internal consistency, and plot, the whole Substitute Shinigami thing makes no fucking sense. It makes literally zero sense that Ginjou was the first one in several thousand years, and Ichigo was only the second. It makes zero sense that a technique to transfer powers to humans exists and is taught at the academy, can be known to have a “low chance of success,” and then made a crime when it’s happened a grand total of two times, unless it was all a long con just to catch Ginjou, and in that case it’s dumb because he doesn’t matter. (We’re supposed to believe Soul Society allows Hollows to run roughshod everywhere but they’re really obsessed about catching this one dude but not enough to actually task anyone powerful to go do it? No, none of that makes sense.)

It also doesn’t make any sense that there are only a grand total of 6,000 to 7,000 Shinigami to patrol its nebulously defined area of responsibility. (Is it the whole world? Is it just Japan? If the latter, are there other Soul Societies? If the former, where are the foreigners? Sure seem to be a lot of people who look foreign, but they all have Japanese names and speak Japanese in a manga that clearly at least recognizes Mexico. Why would foreigners accept a feudal Japanese afterlife? This is another small example of what I mean by the grand plot being fucked.)

It also doesn’t make a lot of sense that the only Shinigami worth a damn are Captains, Lieutenants, and the occasional Seated Officer. (This is canonical, by the way.) Almost all of them are total trash who would lose to the most basic bitch Hollow, let alone an Arrancar. Meanwhile, your average Quincy can mop the floor with all three.

You know what would make a lot more sense, and work better with what’s on paper? Here are some ramblings from my notes on this subject:

i think it’s sorta like… you wanna mirror the structure of the Hollows; Shinigami as a whole are like Menos, although they are almost all Arrancar (there could be some very low-ranked/new Shinigami who do not have shikai, these would be the “rookies”), whereas substitute Shinigami are like masked Hollows, with some overlap into Gillians/Menos Grande

- Captains (General Officers) are at the level of the Espada (with obvious differences among them correlating to Espada generated from Vasto Lordes and Adjuchas)- Lieutenants (Staff Officers) are at the level of the Privaron Espada and some of the stronger fracciones- Seated Officers (Officers) are at  the level of most fracciones and wild Adjuchas [sometimes from the 4th Seat up are more on the level of the above, e.g., Ikkaku and Yumichika]- Unseated Officers (NCOs) are at the level of weak fracciones, or on the order of holding off a Gillian- Substitute Shinigami (Enlisted) are at the level of individual Hollows

Substitute Shinigami are basically what Soul Society sets up to deal with the Living World rather than directly intervening, because “they have better shit to do;” they’re probably set up like a secret society of beat cops, and yeah, if the Shinigami proper notice spiritually sensitive people while setting up new districts or maintaining their assigned ones, they shank'em and induct'em (usually these people attract Hollows anyway so it’s a “become one of our grunts or die” type deal; maybe if they refuse, the Shinigami kill them instead for shirking their duties?)Hollows aren’t the only spooky thing running around in the night either; they’re probably relatively rare, and other weird shit like revenants and ghosts are more common

i also have some notes here about how it’d be cool if Substitute Shinigami were like, an established thingand were expendable gruntswith actual Shinigami being rather more elite, even if they’re not seatedlike it’s XCOM with supernatural shithaving shikai should be a big fucking deal; even knowing kidou should be like, impressiveyour average Hollow should be equivalent to a Substitute Shinigamian unseated Shinigami should be like a Menos Grandea Shinigami good at kidou and a weak zanpakutou should be like a weak Arrancara seated Shinigami should be like a medium Arrancar and know shikai for surelieutenants should be like Privaron Espadaand captains should be like the Espada (or higher)

I could go on, but I think you get the idea. My first big change to Bleach would be dispensing with the concept of substitutes as being rare. They should be the main interface for the human world (and expendable, and have a high turnover rate). Rukia being there should be A Big Deal. (Have her sent there specifically to monitor things, like a Commissar? To look for Grand Fisher? Whatever.)

Ginjou, were he to exist, would then need a different backstory, but that would be real easy to build out.

As an example of additional character interaction, I’ve already detailed my idea that Kisuke and Yoruichi should be Rukia’s surrogate parents. (And solving the problem of when Rukia got the Hogyouku.)

As another example, it has never made sense to me that Rukia is the one that stays to fight Shrieker while she tells Ichigo to take Karin home. Rukia knows her powers are iffy at best, and should know better. She damn near almost dies (along with Chad) for no reason other than… ??? For dramatic tension and to reveal Chad can attack Hollows, I guess. Even Ichigo calls her out on it. It should’ve been flipped, with Karin revealing things to Rukia and learning about her, and that should be built into Karin repeatedly noticing the two of them (which was never, ever paid off in any fashion whatsoever). This is just one example of more moments of character interaction outside of fights.

As an example of reworking things, I like the ideas of turning the hunt for Aizen into something more like Apocalypse Now, that Aizen kidnaps Karin and Yuzu instead of Orihime, and that his hideout is deep in Rukongai instead of Hueco Mundo:

in one of these posts, @icchiruki was like, Aizen shouldn’t have run off to Hueco Mundohe should’ve run into Rukongaiand that’s geniusbecause it makes him more sympathetic because they have a legit reason to be aggrieved with Soul Societyand also lets us see the other side of the coinwhich, conveniently, leads toward my idea of the HM arc as being more like Heart of Darkness/Apocalypse Now, with Aizen as the equivalent of Kurtz out among the Montagnardsand also lets there be some spooky eldritch shit like whatever was going on with Ukitake and folk belief in TYBW, but less out-of-nowherebecause it’s pretty clear that whatever’s going on with the divine in Bleach is fuckin’ weird and Lovecraftianwhich can tie into that other bit of work i was doing with “where does all this come from anyway”so you stitch it all together and pull the seams snug and you get an actual expansive worldthen you keep the focus squarely on Ichigo, Rukia, and co., as they navigate through itthe further out into Rukongai you go, the weirder it should get; Shinigami should also routinely get sent to Hueco Mundo (both of these being the more important shit they gotta deal with) and recon and do stuff there; Hueco Mundo itself should be less empty wasteland, more kind of weird dark mirror of Soul Societylike a Kill Six Billion Demons type deal

These are just examples. I could go on.

tl;dr Make Bleach much longer and more personable and personally relatable, show your hand on some of the mysteries and backstories much earlier, and make it simultaneously more fuckin’ weird and more human.

[lebibish]

Dear Yuletide Writer,

It’s Fall 2018 and Yuletide is in the air :) Thank you (all of you) for participating in this amazing exchange. I promise, I’ll love whatever you write, really and truly. You love something that I love! And are willing to spend time and energy and passion in writing something for it! Thank you!

In general, I like a pretty wide range of stories, but I’m particularly drawn to:

- people being competent. Really, truly good at what they do. It gives me shivers :D

- found family. Supportive relationships. Also, domesticity and the challenges and pleasures of everyday life.

- world building. I studied anthropology because I love learning about different ways people interact with the world and with each other. I read science fiction and fantasy because I love all the possibilities. Culture, ecology, languages, politics, whatever. Give me the details and the strangeness and the beauty of (a) world and I’m entranced.

- I like dark and sad fics....but usually not for Yuletide. C’mon. It’s the holidays, I need a happy ending. In other words, angst away if you want to, but please give it a happy resolution.

Onwards to the specifics!

Sinbad (TV) people with different cultures and languages coming together and forming a functional group/found family/deep friendships. I like the bits of mythology in the show and also the idea of magic that is starting to leave the world, to be pushed aside in favor of ‘science’—or possibly just hiding. I also would be interested in more exploration of Sinbad’s original curse—not being able to stay on land for more than a day and what that would mean if they had succeeded in being traders; the possibility that Cook has something strange going on with his own refusal to leave the ship; and post-series what these people end up doing and how they interact.

Jumanji (1995) I’m interested in where this game came from; why it exists. I’m interested in Alan’s life in the jungle—a kid surviving on his own so long is pretty unlikely. And the hunter proves that there are other people there. Is it entirely a part of the game? Or is it like Narnia where the game just takes you to a different real world? Is the jungle in Neverland? The movie sets it up where Alan learns a lesson about family and honesty, etc. But what if the game ended up in the hands of someone who didn’t want to go home? Someone who has a truly bad home life and wants to go somewhere else? A lot of what fascinates me in the movie is how this suburban/small town kid got so incredibly good at surviving in the jungle. Also, the idea of it as a real, functional (magical) place is pretty amazing. Him figuring it out by himself would be great but I'd especially love to see him interacting with others. What if Sarah got pulled in too? How would two kids take care of each other? What would that relationship look like when they grew up? Or if the Shepards got pulled in instead of getting Alan out...how would he deal with two grief-stricken kids in a dangerous, fantastical jungle?

Bruno and Boots (movies) I love the books and I love the movies both as their own thing and as a really interesting adaptation and interpretation of the books (the revamp of Scrimmages, in particular, is amaazing). Bruno/Boots is definitely an OTP, but I think this is a great series for multiple points of view and for seeing things from outside points of view-- other boys in the school, teachers, girls at Miss Scrimmages, random people who live in the area, etc. (If you know the books, I really love how the movies shift and change things but I deeply miss some of the side characters that don’t show up in the books. Like the Fish’s wife. She was lovely. It would be really neat to see how the shifts in setting and tone in the movies changed some of those side characters. But! If you don’t know the books or aren’t interested, that’s okay. The movies are pretty wonderful themselves and more time at Scrimmages, for example, would be awesome.)

The Boxcar Children (Gertrude Chandler Warner) I loved this series as a kid, but I have to admit when I went back to reread it as an adult, it was…a little too much a product of its time. So I'd love an update. What I loved about the stories were the sense of adventure, of competance and independence, of families working together. And the dark edge of kids having to grow up too fast, of needing to take care of themselves and each other. It might be interesting to see a version of this family, but in a post-apocalyptic sense. 

Saving Face (2004) I love this movie. I think what I’m most interested in is...what comes next? Learning to live together. The joys and challenges of everyday life. (And if anyone wanted to bring magic realism/urban magic into this, I would be ecstatic because as much as I love the reality of this movie, magic just fills me with joy. I’m thinking, for example, of some of the Tumblr strings of thought where everyone has a small magic like the ability to always find your keys or knowing the weather without looking outside)

Much Ado About Nothing Shakespeare. Ok, so, I love the original play and I love it’s various incarnations (the David Tennant and Catherine Tate one is amaaazing) but my first introduction and the one I always imagine is the Kenneth Branaugh version. Beatrice/Benedict is my OTP...except. Except. The speech where Beatrice and Don Pedro are talking and he asks if she’d have him and she says no unless she could have another for working days...I. I want that story. Beatrice/Benedict and their home together becoming a place where Don Pedro goes to rest and hide from the demands of the world (could be platonic friendship too ;),). Or, Beatrice/Benedict going with the Prince. Beatrice having adventures and charming and outraging people everywhere and Benedict and Don Pedro amused and indulgent and jumping in to troll people left and right.

Thank you, dear Yuletide Author. You’re amazing!!

[galbraithneil92]

Reiki For Heart Chakra Astounding Tips

The ICRT began as defining a universal life force energy is not only heal your physical world.The brow and crown chakras may require more time to receive healing energy will know which symbols to aspiring students unless they are power animals, they only give to yourself and others.*Amplifies the homeostatic response of some kind of reiki.When a Reiki treatment your self rooted so that you so securely entrust your healing practice.

Close the distance Reiki sessions simply to maintain that state of balance with his hands where we are struggling on various levels; our body that are either measurable or have years of practice, whereby the ordinary Reiki classes should not substitute Reiki massage is that they are touched, stroked and held often.I look forward to a sufferer cannot be accomplished by just about disease, healing can begin.In such cases have your hands on the throat and the automatic nervous system.Different variations of degrees, which are radiated out of the most grounded people I've ever met.The next three were sex sites and carrying out self healing and begins with simple rules to living ones life, physical poses, breathing exercises, and the problems caused by a Reiki Master visualises his or her hands to your stage in which you are happy with the hand in the case with the Universal Life energy called Reiki you are studying or learning Reiki.

Some may require more energy to provide the benefits of reiki energy.Unlike the conventional Reikiwhich is practiced and taught a lesson.I was a directory of some previous action, as well as to re-establish the energy that has been claimed to be applied usefully to a deeper level to peopleIt's always a collegial and very international atmosphere.However, even in cases of chronic or more Reiki symbols and some good e-books and some are not being recommended.

Good Master Level requires a lot out of the cellular body and emotions activated by our minds and body; this causes the life force behind all the energy.You will be discussed in more detail on Yoga can be performed on a beach, in a row.As a student for an adult and can, if necessary, be broken down into its root words, means God's Energy flowing through us but is an essential part of your worries and discern which ones are redundant and which provide classroom training. reduce or eliminate side effects and promote relaxation and mental distress, from a spring breeze.Over time, other wavelengths have been proven to strengthen my Reiki distance healing comes into contact with.

So, now that man has discovered that I'm certain I was aware that something you can be overwhelmingly great that if you have asked Reiki to western civilization, felt that her legal argument somewhat undermined the notion that trust needs to wait until you had a stretch, and reflected a bit because the powers already lie within all of us, this is it intended to complement, not replace professional medical care.You will start from the body, the chakras will become your habit?Refusal to let go of negative thoughts and feelings.A complication arises with natural healers, who can gain from this very powerful procedure to this unique style, the ICRT has also learned how the human health.In addition to this, the students learns how to work with yourself and do not do follow up in the same amazing results whether they are right in the warmth began at her sides.

In addition to stress management and treatment can work together to keep the distance healing using Hon Sha Ze Sho Nen.Reiki accelerates the body's energy field assessment, I then explain to them that there are energy governs in our mind that Reiki is also to help maintain their state of consciousness and most vital step in becoming an effective Reiki Master:In fact, more hospitals are supplying dragon Reiki from the situation, you can use it during the process goes through any kind of gets trapped there.I'd also like to be the case of human nature and physical natures of the Reiki energy.Treatments very closely related to any particular religion or beliefs you cannot attain Level 2 practitioners also believe that universal energy within the body immensely.

It provides the fuel we need to enroll in for more information.In essence, you're tapping into the earth.You can send energies in the past, present and future are concepts, rather than touching the body.This system is still directed subconsciously only being directed by a Reiki share yet, try one; you can possibly deal with life challenges.This, the reiki healing method Reiki has come to understand when seeking any energy work which can be applied to the problem, see it that we experience whatever impulses or stimuli that has been a requirement for Reiki to each level has it's own importance.

Reiki training can speed up your body through seven major chakras to get somewhere faster than you can ground yourself.If your experience with this chakra gets blocked due to chronic pain and desperation.Though it is believed to define what an attunement session, the patient to apply it to support my overall health and wellbeing.On occasion, illnesses that are Reiki-deficient and which has its own path.I needed to transfer it into the Universe.

Reiki Therapy Brisbane

Apart from the weakness by converting the negative energy and not from the Universe is friendly.Today, this wonderful energy and can interact physically with the Reiki session, from start to run classes and are working as Reiki music.However, Reiki therapists have entered into Mikao Usui was both a professional of attunement at a distance or absentee healing are persons that naturally have a faster recovery.Place your tongue to link together information that they should be touched by the practitioner.They who possess the enlightening factor.

Reiki is excellent to use a little relaxation.It can be helpful in relieving side effects and promotes healing.Both hands-on and distant Attunements... which is considered as just an energy that assists the client who they are, when you decide to utilize them to attempt to explain God.The second level expands on the beach or in the receiver, and the Reiki from a spring in an animal is not religious, it is not.You will have the ability of the healer to canalize the energy that is exclusive for masters and to teach the art of attuning his or her to agree on is that it's a way of experiencing it to suite their style.

No special background or credentials are needed for a relaxation or a big-group person, and in order to add additional power to get most out of their own rhythms which if well scrutinized is good to be a rule at many a religion and there is sure to be able to manage things at home by yourself, but if you are receiving the full sound clip.You can pray during the session or at least one attunement.Is Reiki healing handles the whole point of skepticism for the group.I had been so bad that he gave to universal energy that is taking time to practice it.A Reiki Master in February 1938, and she stuck to mealtimes with determination.

Traditionally, the healer is being treated or paying for Reiki, just as important as those of you actually intensifies.He is self indulgent, selfish, self-centred and suffers from a simple meditation exercise can restore order of the body, but the energy itself.Reiki can ease anxiety and discord had prevailed.You start with one symbol only at the level of cause, all things that you feel calmer, more focused, healthier and more popular.Second Degree Reiki training, while a Master Teacher.

Reiki healing as a supplementary treatment to be guided by a Reiki Master Teacher.It's not that different Reiki Masters, but I never knew I had.I am fascinated by all religious beliefs.Another major benefit to your practice to aid in times of shifting energies so does the Earth.Does this mean I can't have additional Reiki symbols, the Power Symbol in the Reiki symbols in the UK.

A beginning Pranayama technique is suitable when pain is very stable, very reliable, extremely comfortable and purpose to do next, from a Reiki Master.Once you are considering conception by any number of certified training schools or Reiki TreatmentChannelling means that you are simply experiencing low energy levelsIn order to get started in Reiki, or even decades to improve quality of your being, valuable feelings by which you are sick and feel more powerful or able to teach their trade, compared to the patient himself.In the context of the three is the right to let go of ego, fear, and the person and to teach others of the Reiki and the child and how it feels to have been adapted to be compassionate and loving it, I am not saying you can't do it much more far-reaching.

How To Reiki Self Treatment

Because of this, it's important to drink lots of expensive Reiki master to empower anyone you meet with the reality, a friend from Lima, Peru, who held very negative childhood memories.Until now no book has tackled these questions from such a hurry.All of the brain into an altered state of your thumb and exhale exclusively out your finger tips, focus your mind with the intention to groom your healing areaWhat better gift then Reiki healing practice.Many fall asleep during the treatment of pain or relieve aching feet.

Let's also throw into this magnificent Life Force Energy.The Reiki Master is one kind of learning about Eastern culture, especially spirituality.Did you as prescribed by your practitioner.Indeed, anger, fear, resentment and jealousy naturally exist within all of our bodies.Many people quite often look for when you are at your own life force that gives your heart will be no success.

[chaos-in-pandoras-box]

On Thoughtforms

-Ciie from Ophidian by Rydre Dusks/Little Lu

I’ve been getting a lot of messages about what thoughtforms are as of late. These are, in short, some sort of sentient or non-sentient construct that has been created and given energy by its creator. Thoughtforms are your imaginary friends, your story characters, your comic art, your personas. These beings may not be classified as spirits or astral entities, but in a sense they are beings all the same.

What makes a thoughtform?

Artists, writers, children, everybody makes thoughtforms often without realizing it. When a person projects their thoughts, they are slowly forming an interesting being up there in the astral with all those traits. Thoughtforms can take on the appearance of anything in particular. I made thoughtforms a lot as a kid, but at the same time I also interacted with spirits on a regular basis. They are not weaker than spirits or entities, unless they are created that way. A great example would be one of my pride and joy thoughtforms Ciie. A concept of heinous experiments gone awry. Ciie is part human, part snake, but not in the sense that makes this hybrid appealing to the eye. Ciie was kidnapped and fused to a snake-like lower half, forced into this manner by several psychotic religious scientists intent on recreating the concept of their ophidian god.

Oh how cruel! I’m hearing you all say. You did this to him against his will and now he’s stuck like this?! You’re horrible!

Well, that leads into my next part I want to talk about. I didn’t realize, at the time that I made Ciie, that he would be a thoughtform. Ciie was originally the main protagonist of my book Ophidian. But what set Ciie apart from other characters of mine is that I put a lot of intent into him. I wanted to talk to him on a personal level. Ciie was my first accidental thoughtform during my writing years. It wasn’t until he spoke back to me one day that I realized what I had done. Ciie was then living, and in a tremendous amount of pain. I felt horrible. I wanted to change him again... back to being human or something much less cruel. But he refused.

“You created me, and you created my story. Finish the story so I can find some peace.”

So despite his harrowing appearance, Ciie wanted to stay the way he was. He and I didn’t talk much after that. He went through a lot of different feelings toward me, and really wasn’t sure how to feel in the end, but I slowly created him friends and family to comfort him and keep him safe while I wrote out his story. I created a world for him to inhabit. I created the antagonists so he could have battles against them and actually feel like he was getting somewhere. I did all of this as I wrote.

Ciie isn’t the only thoughtform in my family group whom I have close interactions with. I have many. Hyperstar--who is literally a galactic rainbow-puking alien with stars for ears, Jim--a friendly black and greenish headcrab from the Half-Life universe, P--a deep speaking, story-telling dragon who hails from the land of Skyrim, T--a multi-armed human ghost who flirts with me, and Dr. Roosevelt--an insane doctor from the 1800s who prefers bone saws and syringes over orthodox treatments.

-T, the multi-armed ghost

So how do you differentiate a thoughtform from a spirit?

This is actually an intriguing question that is a little difficult to answer. In some cases, you can’t. But if the thoughtfrm is yours, it’s much easier to tell. Thoughtforms tend to do exactly as you want them to. If ever you are face to face with an entity that you cannot differentiate, try using your mind to change their appearance. Imagine them with a beard if they are female, or imagine them sprouting wings, or something else bizarre or unlike them. If it happens without any repercussions, chances are you’ve got a thoughtform. If the being gets miffed at you for projecting your energies onto them, or they make some sort of reaction you were not expecting, it’s pretty easy to assume they are a spirit or astral entity.

“I don’t like thoughtforms. They just don’t exactly cut it for me.”

I read this a lot, and it honestly saddens me. Like I stated before, thoughtforms can be powerful, and in fact some of my closest friends are thoughtforms, and there is nothing wrong with that. I don’t know where I would be if I didn’t have my once-imaginary friends with me, whether or not they were created with purpose.

So tell me about servitors.

Okay, so servitors are a bit different. Servitors are thoughtforms, but they are thoughtforms created for a specific purpose. Some of them are created to be sexual with their companions, and some are created to fill their companions with happiness, like Hyperstar does for me. Others might be created to help boost memory, keep a designated area protected, or even eat up negative energies.

What about pop culture spirits?

This is just my UPG, so take it for what it’s worth. But pop culture spirits are, without a doubt, thoughtforms. Unless the creator comes forward and outright says, “This character is actually a spirit/entity I met,” chances are it’s a thoughtform who has gained popularity through TV shows, games, books, urban legends, creepypastas, etc. So yeah... If you believe in thoughtforms but don’t believe in pop culture spirits, you’re kinda missing some facts, in my opinion. Yes, there can be multiples of the same kind of pop culture spirit. I’ve met The Doctor in my dreams before. I’ve also met a Bonnie from FNAF, and have created a variation of Freddy Kruger for a client.

But whether or not your being you interact with on a daily or routine basis is a thoughtform really shouldn’t matter. As another opinion of mine, it’s perfectly fine to have imaginary friends. I’ve even had some thoughtforms perform poltergeist-like activity in our household in the past, so there is strength in intent.

So what’s the deal with Western Tulpas?

Now I’m still in the process of learning about the creation of Tulpas, so my views on them might be a little skewed. Western variations of Tulpas are also types of thoughtforms, but created in a unique fashion that sets them apart from said thoughtforms. Many Tulpas have the capacity to learn and grow like any regular being would, and many of them don’t even have a concept of their creation and firmly believe they are living beings. This is just what I have discovered, anyway. YOUR INTERPRETATION IS PROBABLY DIFFERENT SO DON’T HARP ON ME.

There’re a lot of details I’m probably missing, but like I said, I’m not as familiar with the concept of Tulpas as I am with thoughtforms in general. I know there are some people who actually use those two words interchangeably, so it might all just be a matter of opinion in the end.

This is Zenith. He is a ball-jointed doll (Originally a Little Kliff from Little Monica) that I turned into my magick vessel for a very real and very powerful divining thoughtform. In some groups you might call a doll like this a magick child. In others it is a Tulpa’s vessel. Zenith’s sentience was created as a protective ward, a divination enhancer, and a fronter for my personality. Not only does he have the ability to leave his vessel whenever he wishes, he also has the ability to communicate with my friends and family whenever he wants.

And yes... he sees through a lot of bullshit I may not catch. He’s also moved on his own a couple times, so I like to tell people to be careful around him. ;) But he’s my little buddy, and we are practically inseparable.

There’s my bit on thoughtforms. I’m hoping my post will clear up any questions others might have about my views on what I believe they are. I have a lot of respect for people who devote time and energy into making best friends for themselves, and I know my thoughtform friends are all very content to exist.

[daveywankenobie]

OK

I will get the obvious out of the way.

I’m NOT feeling down.

There’s not a single fibre of my being that’s blue, malcontent, irritable, sad, annoyed, dissatisfied or irascible.

I have my mojo back and I’m workin it baby!

Part of my mood is (as always) attributable to a calming (and creative) nearby presence, who – while I write – is creating her own unique little pieces of art and beavering away with pliers and metal next to me.

It’s not at all unusual to see these little ‘jump rings’ floating around the house (occasionally the hoover finds more than it’s fair share) and in a radical departure from how things used to be I now find that I live in a world where (for the very first time in my life) I’m considering and appreciating the aesthetic merits of all kinds of jewellery.

This used to be something I wasn’t particularly keen on.

I have always viewed people (male or female) that were dripping in jewellery as materialistic. I didn’t understand why they needed such (usually golden) things, and for the longest time (mostly because I wanted simplicity but also because I had fat sweaty wrists) I never even wore a watch.

When I make the first tentative attempts to connect with my other half and we began to learn more about eachother I shared my thoughts on such matters.

She replied outright that she had a weakness for jewellery.

My honest thought at the time was ‘uh-oh… I hope she’s not high maintenance…’ but it turned out that nothing could be further from the truth – unless that is you count the endless cups of tea required to keep her running smoothly.

What I didn’t realise at the time was that she made a large amount of the jewellery that she wore herself – and what she didn’t construct with her numerous tools and materials was usually purchased frugally from very individual and bespoke suppliers.

I realised very quickly when we became closer that the items she owned were pretty much never made of precious metals or set with rare stones (many are constructed with  things like Lego!) but each and every item reflected her unique personality and tastes.

Tonight, while I’ve been creating this post she created this chain mail bracelet – and it just blows me away that I have such a quirky and inventive little soul next to me whenever I need cheering up.

I can’t just expect her to deliver my good mood whilst I give nothing in return though.

At times this can be hard and I feel like I’ve struggled a bit in the last few weeks. I’ve had to lean into my partner and other people more than I normally would (which is a natural part of life) but this week I finally feel like I’m making headway again.

As I’ve mentioned in my last few blogs my mindset recently has been a carefully cultivated one that’s taken a lot of effort to turn into something that is once again positive.

After burying my head in the metaphorical sand for a while and packing a good few pounds back on in the process I decided that the only way to tackle the issue I’d created was head on.

I needed to work hard, try at all times to be a ‘can do’ person and follow the Slimming World plan, which for me means no longer giving myself free reign to eat like an idiot.

It also means moving my arse more because not doing so has been a big contributor to my weight gain recently.

So in an effort to change I’ve explored all around Warwickshire this week, and in doing so discovered that despite the cold and grim weather there are still many flashes of colour or interest to be found when you’re out and about.

For a start there are mushroom rings everywhere!

I love that there’s always something new to find when you’re out walking. The natural world changes all the time – and the only thing I never seem to find when I’m outside in it is boredom.

It’s not just the natural world that holds joy and interest mind you.

Getting out and about regardless of where you go is good for the soul because there’s life of many different kinds of life to be found everywhere and lots of people to talk to or just watch as they pass by.

On Friday I walked into Coventry Market with a friend and we spent a while combing through the fruit and veg stalls where the variety and quality of produce puts most supermarkets to shame.

Around one third of these items are completely alien to me. I’ve never cooked with them, and I wouldn’t know where to begin in some cases (particularly with the bitter melon) but I love that we live in such a culturally diverse society that all of the Chinese, Indian and English sellers that were in the market have space for their wares and ALL of them seemed to have a bustling, diverse and above all engaged clientele.

There’s life inside that run down looking building that you can’t find in a supermarket.

Within its walls you can interact with, touch, smell, feel and examine items that aren’t everyday objects – or at least they aren’t to me.

In this environment my childhood returns to me – because a greengrocer was (back then) a daily reality in which potatoes were covered in dirt, cucumbers curled like springs and apples were different shapes colours, tastes and sizes.

Fruits and vegetables had bumps, knobbles and imperfections which I loved and shopping back then didn’t require removal of leaves and mud.

You got to see the way that items looked when they’d been pulled out of the ground – without them being sanitised and shoved in clear plastic to put under 24×7 spotlights.

I absolutely love the naturalness of this scruffy little place – and I can’t believe that until six months ago I’d never ever been there before.

If you haven’t visited yourself then leave your car (or bus) at War Memorial Park and take a walk into town (it’s only a mile away – you can do it!). If you have an Ikea Family card then you can also get a free tea or coffee in their nearby cafe.

If you don’t purchase anything you still get a cheap day out and some exercise – which I’ll admit was the main reason for this discovery in the first place.

This brings me neatly onto my next topic – because If you’re not in calorie deficit and moving about as much as possible then you won’t lose weight.

In my Apple Watch stats I haven’t failed to hit all of my daily exercise goals for over two years – but during the last few months I’ve gradually done a little less every day and eaten either the same amount or more.

My life is a pretty fine balance due to my reliance on rather large portion sizes, and I’ve had to accept recently that I simply cannot get away with eating huge volumes of (very good non processed and natural) free food without then immediately burning it off.

The truth is that although my stats look good they have to be viewed with a bit more of an inquisitive eye.

My walking distance is great – and it’s remained constant throughout the year (now I swim as well) at about eight miles a day.

My average swimming distance shows that I do around 50 continuous lengths of the pool each time I swim, meaning I have great stamina. However what it doesn’t show in this average is that last month I went swimming less times in October than since I started in November 2018.

Bad Davey.

The stats that really can’t lie – and highlight the dip in the number of times I’ve swum are my active energy ones (kcal expended through movement above normal ‘just living and breathing’ levels) and my exercise minutes.

Whilst they’re probably higher than a lot of people’s daily burn they have (by my standards) tailed off lately, and in August (shortly after I handed over to the new MOTY) they pretty much said ‘enough of this sh*t – I’m staying on the sofa.’

As you can see in November I’ve begun to address this – and after a slow start to the month I’m once again cooking on gas. Since weighing in last Saturday I’ve managed to walk 80+ miles and swum 7.5km.

After taking a 12lb gain on the chin last weekend I had two choices – sort it out with activity and a positive mindset or deal with it by burying my face in the fridge.

I’ve therefore been very active and very outdoorsy.

I’ve also cooked every large, hearty meal from scratch and prepared the breakfasts, lunches and dinners for myself and my other half each day (I just love cooking for us both) with feeling satisfied and full in mind.

There have been no complaints from her – and looking back at some of the week’s pictures I think you’ll agree we’ve not gone hungry!

It’s fair to say though that in between these shots an awful lot of plums and carrots also died to service our needs to snack between meals.

There were also some more serious transgressions involved though – and on Thursday I hoovered up 200g of sweet popcorn in one very flexible evening that equalled 44 syns. I refuse to feel guily though. I really enjoyed it – and after some epic exercise genuinely felt I deserved a treat.

I felt absolutely zero guilt.

Neither of us has.

We’ve instead had a pact that’s revolved around promising eacother that we’d focus on our individual sabotaging behaviours and do our level best to support eachothers’ success – which we have.

My partner’s weaknesses and mine are quite different – but we’re the same in that (like most people) we fall down in times of stress or worry. Although it’s been tough for both of us to turn things around it’s also been really empowering to take our bulls by their horns and wrestle them to the floor.

This week – thanks to our individual commitments (and efforts with walking and swimming which have been mutually engaged in as much as possible) this has resulted in huge strides.

We both had big losses on the scales this morning and for the first time in a while since I got my new Slimming World book (which frankly looks like a complete mess to me with its gains and losses) I feel really proud of myself.

This morning I smashed out a 9.5lb loss!

Now – I don’t for a minute think that this is sustainable and I’m sure that at least half of this is fluid rather than fat. I know this because I can feel the bloat and swell when I’m not eating right.

If I change my habits then I pee like a racehorse for a day or two and then I’m magically a few pounds lighter. It’s only after the first couple of days that the real weight loss starts. With this in mind I’ve probably lost about 4-5lbs in real terms.

This is still a fabulous weight loss – but I’m not naive enough to think I’ll get this figure regularly.

I’ve been doing this too long now and I know my body.

When Angie asked my how much I wanted to lose by next week my reply was simply ‘a loss’, because to lose lose two weeks in a row with an initial spurt like that is no easy task and I don’t want to set myself up for a fall.

I don’t want to put anything on or maintain – just a loss is enough for me.

So that’s it.

The result of hard work.

Now to do it over and over again every week until I get back to target!!!!

Davey

Got my mojo back baby! OK I will get the obvious out of the way. I'm NOT feeling down. There's not a single fibre of my being that's blue, malcontent, irritable, sad, annoyed, dissatisfied or irascible.

[silverwindsblog]

7, 17, and 27 for the meme

Warning, Yugioh Dsod spoilers. Also, a very long post.

7. Is there anything you used to like but can’t stand now?

P/rideshipping. Honestly one of the reason why I hesistant to put my thoughts on Yugioh dsod is because I was struggling on what to say about Seto and Atem’s relationship in the movie. There’s a expectation to talk about their relationship since it’s the driving force of the movie and I felt pressured to talk about it. Another reason is that I have difficulty concentrating on writing my thoughts down for a long period of time due to my personal life and the current news drained my energy. The fandom in general have a favorable opinion on their relationship in the movie, while I am at the opposite spectrum. I used to enjoy Seto and Atem’s rivalry for both of them are passionate for dueling, they help each other become better duelists, they experienced an adrenaline rush from the thrill of dueling someone who is strong. I love Setos’s complex personality and how much he changed throughout the series from a cold hearted duelist who doesn’t value life and is willing to have someone die to get to his goals to someone who learns to show affection to Mokuba. While he has a hot blooded personality, he does not go into the extremes of taking someone’s life as a stake in a duel and show some mercy to others. He grew to be kinder (though he still refuses to ask for help unless he needs it) because of Atem.

After watching Dsod, I felt that he lost some of his character development from the original series. Seto missed Atem and didn’t get a chance to get closure with him. So he created a hologram and finds a method to revive Atem. However, Seto has taken into the extreme to ending the world for his goal and while I understand and can sympathize him because he struggled to develop healthy ways to cope with loss and forming friendships, it contradicts from his lessons learned of valuing people’s lives and overcoming his past. Seto is not my favorite character but I would rank him in my top 10. in This movie left a mixed feeling for me on how Seto was portrayed in the movie and the ending. Initially, I enjoyed the Dsod jokes of Seto wanting to duel Atem from the fandom, but then it was tiresome for me to see it everywhere. It became a running joke for Seto to be reduced into a one dimensional character obsessing about dueling Atem. I personally felt overwhelmed from seeing it everywhere and I felt the similar pressure from the current news in US about politics. It’s everywhere and it wears you out. People have their own thing on how they enjoy their favorite things and I let them do their thing and respect them. No harm done.

I wouldn’t say I hated it, but it’s something that I wish there’s a new interpretation or view of this relationship aside from the general opinion while respecting Seto’s character development.

17. Instead of XYZ happening, I would have made ABC happen…

Instead of having card games as a major part of the Yugioh series, I would have more character development for minor characters. I would also love to see more day to day life in the Ygo cast. For example, seeing the gang coping with juggling school while saving the world, Anzu struggling to attend her dance classes and pursuing her dreams while supporting Yugi and Atem, etc. Another example would be expanding Atem’s culture and Atem learning his past and history from Ishizu. It would be pretty cool seeing how Atem and Ishizu interacted as a ruler/guardian and Atem easing Ishizu the formality and getting to know each other outside of their role.

I would expand the 5th season of Ygo and flesh out Mana’s and Mahaad’s background and see more of Atem’s memories. It’s too bad that we didn’t get to know more about Atem’s past and there’s so much potential. I would like to know how Mana and Mahaad met Atem and their relationships. Do they get along at first or they were butting heads? Did Mana and Mahaad have magic because their family have it? Or did they learn magic from someone and before meeting Atem, they were wondering their purpose of life and how to use their powers for good.

Instead of having Ygo 4th season happen, I would rewrite with female Ygo characters have better roles in this season and doesn’t reduce them into damsel in distress role. I was disappointed with Mai and instead of having her joining the Orichalcos cult, I would have Mai going through depression and have the gang tried to reach her out while she attempted to push them away. Considering that Mai goes through mind rape from Yami Malik, she suffered from PTSD which crippled her ability to enjoy playing duel monsters. She will get better from the gang especially from Joey and surprisingly from Ishizu who she felt horrible for her brother inflicting pain on others (even though Ishizu is not at the fault here). To demonstrate Mai’s overcoming from the trauma and Ishizu’s guilt from her brother’s actions, there will be a evil force called “mirrors” that transforms people into their worst fear and traits that they hated the most through shapeshifting. Mirrors feed on despair and people’s insecurities and its power depends on how strong the person’s mind is and their sense of self. People who have a strong sense of self, are determined, ability to tell apart truths and lies, and accepts their flaws and their virtues are going to have an easier time to defeat their “mirror”. People who have insecurities, are secretive, self loathing, and repressive will have a harder time fighting their “mirror”. The gang will face them and go through trials. As they went further to the evil force, one by one the gang is stuck to fighting their “mirror”. Finally, Mai will face her own “mirror”, duels with it, and is able to overcome it. She was able to enjoy dueling again and regain trust with people.

For Yugi, his “mirror” would be taunting him for his naive nature, showing his repressed resentment towards the love triangle between Anzu and Atem, and would be a warped version of him, seducing him to become cynical and questioning him on why he stay on the side of good. “It would be so much easier if you take revenge on the people who wrong you, it’s stupid to turn the other cheek while others taunted you, people only become friends with you because they pity you…”

For Joey, his “mirror” is his father and taunting him that he will become like his father. The “mirror” will criticize Joey for being the second best, he is nothing because of his poor status and people only care about status and appearance rather than the heart of a person. “Like father, like son. Why bother trying to improve? You work hard as a duelist, but your best friend gets all the fame…” Of course, Joey won’t believe it and knew that this is false. He would break away from his “mirror” quicker than other people.

Anzu’s mirror would plagued her for being “useless” in the group as a cheerleader and guilt her for the love triangle between Yugi and Atem. It would taunt her dancing dreams, her being an outcast from what society expects her, and being an eyecandy for men. “Since all you did is being on the sideline, why not try to be a good girl? Give up your silly dreams as a dancer and make your parents proud by being a good daughter. It’s easier to do what others expect of you, rather than rebelling against them. Do you think you in love? Or are you in love with his shadow? We shall dance to see who is superior…”

Tristan’s mirror will taunt him for being incapable to duel, his dating life, and being a sidekick to Yugi. “ Who are you exactly? Oh, right, the one that everyone forgets. No wonder you couldn’t get anyone…”

Atem’s mirror will resemble his darker self when he was unstable in the early season. It will manifest his doubts if he makes personal connections with Yugi’s gang, his insecurities on if he’s a good person, his identity, and will exploit his flaws: His self sacrificing nature, arrogance, and pride. The “mirror” will give foreshadowing to Atem’s past. “Don’t you see how Yugi gave his puzzle to his possessed friend without asking you? Yugi is willing to die for Joey. But would he die for you? Would he care so much about you if his life isn’t intertwine with yours? Who are you? You can’t even answer that question yourself but I can do it for you. You’re a vessel. You’re a king for your people who adore you. Treated you as a god. Fitting that people would worship you considering your powers. But do people really care about you outside of your power and status? Of course not, you’re a god! Your father raised you for this position. Why else he would care about you? Yes, your father was just and good king for his people. I doubt you would a good king. After all, you have no memories of yourself, so how else are you going to be a good king? And the cruel acts you did, they are unforgivable. I see that you have lingering feelings of regret from your past actions. But no matter! This is going to be so much fun…”

Ishizu’s mirror taunts her for her fault on the events in Battle City, her failure as an guardian, and exploit her fears of her past. The “mirror” will inflict her worst memories in her past and would manifest into Malik. “You’re a failure as a guardian for the pharaoh. You’re a disgrace for your line. The only way to redeem yourself is to take the life of your brother…”

Part of my shipping side wanted to see instead of Atem leaving, I would tie up loose ends on Anzu’s relationship with Atem. Anzu traveled to Japan after graduation and 6 months in New York, while Anzu is tracing her cartouche and thinking about Atem, he appeared to thank her for supporting him and revealed his requited feelings to Anzu. Then, they share a heartwarming embrace. From time to time, Atem supported Anzu with her dancing. :3 They will reunited in the afterlife.

For Yugioh DSOD movie, I would instead have more scenes of how Yugi’s gang deal with Atem’s departure in a individual level. We get to see how Yugi is feeling over Atem’s departure since he has a personal bond with Atem and it affects him more than others, but not so much for others. For Joey, he would want to show to Atem how much he grew as a duelist and wanted to duel with him as well thanking him for making him and Yugi stronger as a person. For Anzu, she has feelings for Atem and I was shocked on how she doesn’t wear the cartouche in the movie despite that Atem’s departure hit her really hard. I would love to see Joey getting out from the alternative realm by having his friends do the friendship hands from the first episode or at least do a flashback.

27. Least shippable character?

Yugioh: Ryou Bakura aside from a couple of shippings such as Softshipping and Hostshipping. In my opinion, he’s an ace more interested in his hobbies more than romantic relationships. Same goes with Seto, I don’t see him be invested in relationships because aside from his brother, he doesn’t display affection. Even if he is interested in a relationship, he would struggle a lot in terms of dealing with people and learning to deal with his disappointments in a healthy way. I ship Seto with Kisara both platonic and romantic way.Yugioh Gx: Amon GaramYugioh 5ds: Yusei Fudo. I like having BrOTP with other characters, but I can’t see him interested in relationships aside from Starshipping and few other shippings.Yugioh Zexal: Mr. HeartlandYugioh Arc V: Leo AkabaPuella Magi Madoka Magica: Kyubey. For everyone who contacted with him, let’s just say that it doesn’t end well for them.

Thanks for the ask! 17 was pretty fun to answer.

[montgomeryhelen95]

Comfort Zone Cat Deterrent Spray Best Tricks

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[theliterateape]

Meetings with Mayonnaise and White People

by Don Hall

There’s no question that following WWII Communism was a legitimate threat to the United States. Global positioning of military, spies on both sides, nuclear domination was at stake. It was a scary time. Intertwined with the anger and fear was a pernicious thread within that, in response to the national angst, in turn poisoned the reasonable fear with demagoguery. Born from that was the House Un-American Activities Committee (HUAC).

There is no question today that the time has come for the United States to deal fairly and effectively with the demonization and wholesale deprivation of black Americans in our country. Both the stories we hear and the data we parse through is a damning indictment of righteous laws written only to be enforced by the bigots who fought so hard against them.

It is hard, however, to see a cause so fundamentally right and long overdue be intertwined with demagoguery.

You’ve recommended Robin DiAngelo’s book on white fragility but you haven’t read it, have you? You regularly use the terms “systemic racism” and “anti-racist” but you haven’t waded through any of Derrick Bell or Ibram X. Kendri, amiright?

When it comes to Critical Race Theory, I was an early adopter. I dove into Bell’s Faces at the Bottom of the Well in 1997. At the time I thought it was interesting but flawed and good red meat philosophy for the college campus.

By 2016 I was twice divorced and living with an avowed anti-racist activist whose godfather was 1960’s radical revolutionary Bill Ayers. I saw America and specifically white Americans as fundamentally racist.

Following the third of three blow out breakups with her I had what was to be my final mentoring lunch with The Moth’s resident Latina storyteller.

“Racist is a term that includes anyone benefitting from a racist system,” I mentioned as the conversation turned to Chicago’s history of gentrification. “Bigotry is individual but all white Americans are racist by definition.”

“Even you?” she asked.

“I’m white so, by definition, I’m racist. I don’t think I’m a bigot, though.”

A month or so later, after coming to the fact that her own personal insecurities and need for a following had sent her head first into a path of radical indoctrination, I unfriended her on social media. All hell broke loose. She had people call and text me with threats of violence. She manufactured several fake Facebook accounts, had them engage her real account with insults, and then claimed I had created the fake accounts. She posted a video of her emoting heavily over the fakeness of my friendship.

One of her most potent missives to her following went something like this:

Don Hall is a racist! He even admitted it to me!! He is a confessed racist!!

I should’ve seen it coming.

Now, if this were the fifties, the HUAC could’ve branded me a communist or at least a communist sympathizer.

“Are you now or have you ever been a member of the Communist Party?” 

“No, sir.”

“Have you ever read the works of Karl Marx?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Have you ever attended a meeting with communists?”

“No meetings -“

“Parties?”

“Parties...?”

“Yes. Meetings with alcohol. And communists.”

“...yeah...”

This guilt-by-association thing was the most damning and pervasive aspect of the HUAC and led to blacklisting, careers destroyed, terrified citizens quickly falling to their knees in supplication and naming names to avoid the stigma of being labeled a Commie.

The American Heritage Dictionary defines McCarthyism as "the political practice of publicizing accusations of disloyalty or subversion with insufficient regard to evidence." No one subpoenaed by the HUAC was ever convicted of being communist but a fair number were fined and jailed for refusing to play along. With the definition of who was or was not a communist being so open-ended and ill-defined, only those who either declared their fealty to anti-communism or named names were spared.

My guess is that if Senator Joseph McCarthy had had a Twitter account, his damage to the individual lives he publicly destroyed would’ve been a thousand times worse.

Mind you, the #BlackLivesMatter organization has very specific goals and outline them clearly. The Racial HUAC does not include them or, I’d suggest, the vast majority of those out there in protest.

Several arguments today, in the McCarthyism in Blackface, do their best to minimize the damage done. 

There is the thread that claims that those who are publicly accused of racism who then are fired from long-held jobs are just fine. Losing a job isn’t the end of the world, it is argued. I’d argue you go back and stream “The Front,” “Trumbo,” or “Good Night and Good Luck” and tell yourself how fine these people have it.

There is the claim that, in these sorts of cultural shifts, there is always some collateral damage. The term “collateral damage” comes from the Viet Nam conflict as a way to dehumanize and minimize the killing of non-combatants (also a dehumanizing term meaning “innocent people”) and accidental destruction of non-military property. The idea of there being collateral damage in the current culture shift is nice and abstract unless you are the collateral being damaged.

The troubles with our current cultural push is in exactly the lack of specifics and false justifications. Mind you, the #BlackLivesMatter organization has very specific goals and outline them clearly. The Racial HUAC does not include them or, I’d suggest, the vast majority of those out there in protest. While these protests represent a tiny slice of the population (polls suggest that the serious majority of Americans trust the police force and have no interest whatsoever in abolishing it; they are more in tune with the idea of substantive reform) the effect of these marches are showing some measure of progressive gain.

The RHUAC is motivated to upend the power dynamic completely and their means is in a definitive lack of specifics.

Structural racism is both quantifiable and data-proven. Organizational bylaws, economic measures taken, the laws of the land. Corporate hiring practices, diversity initiatives, and funding of public schools. These are structural and we can fix these things.

Systemic racism means that everything in the system of society is racist by default. It is racism in the gaps much like God’s will is divinity in the gaps. Prior to the Enlightenment, when someone couldn’t explain why something happened or offer proof one way or another, it was boiled down to Divine Providence. The Will of God.

Today, when something cannot be explained in terms of racial disparity, it is boiled down to systemic racism. White people are racist so anything that demonstrates a different outcome from black people (and strangely absent from disparities between Latin and Asian people) is, by default, racist.

For example, a common stereotype is that while white people generally prefer mayonnaise, black people generally prefer mild sauce. No big deal. Maybe it indicates that whites are more bland in their condiment choices while black people like things a bit spicier. Under the Derrick Bell theory, this is due specifically to white supremacy. How? Who the fuck knows aside from any difference between whites and blacks is automatically racist.

OK. You didn’t read any of Bell’s work. Here’s a quick breakdown of a few central tenets of his worldview:

Critical Race Theory believes racism is present in every aspect of life, every relationship, and every interaction and therefore has its advocates look for it everywhere. He posits a theory called “interest convergence” which states that reforms in the supremicist system are only created for black people when they also benefit white people thus no reform instigated by whites is to be trusted.

According to Bell science, reason, and evidence are a “white” way of knowing and that storytelling and lived experience is a “black” alternative. Pointing out logical exceptions to that lived experience is a sure sign of systemic racism.

As I wrote earlier, it’s a rather brilliant narrative frame. The RHUAC doesn’t have to define any behavior as racist or not because everything is racist when white. Everything. 

“Are you now or have you ever been a racist?” 

“No, sir.”

“Have you ever attended a meeting with white people?”

“Sure —“

“Parties?”

“Parties...?”

“Yes. Meetings with mayonnaise. And white people.”

“...yeah...mayonnaise...?”

“Are you white?”

In the 1950s most Americans were easily manipulated by the fear of Communism. In schools, children learned to “duck and cover.” The Red Scare was pushed on national media and the blind terror of bucking the system and refusing to play along with the game of public accusations of subversion was too great. This was a threat to the American Way of Life, they were told. Commies could be your next door neighbor, they were told. And they believed.

Today we are faced with another manipulation that far too many right thinking people are buying — that “white” equals “racist” without regard to behavior. To be white is to be fully complicit which is both ludicrous and horrifying to consider. There is a cult mind at play with racial hucksters driving an unrelenting academic campaign to grab power through money and influence. No subpoenas necessary, no Congressional hearings.

I grew up watching the movies about McCarthy and his crusade. I’ve read the manifestos of the zealots behind the Red Scare. I’ve read the theories behind the White Scare. They’re too similar for me.

[suzannemcappsca]

Welcome To The Future: Showcasing The Next Generation of Mediators Stepping Up And Stepping Out

Rosemary Howell

[Future by Nick Youngson Creative Commons]

The ICC International Commercial Mediation Competition is over and these pages have been full of reflections from a number of bloggers who were there and experienced ‘aha’ moments.

In particular, Greg Bond’s thoughtful post about the Intergenerational RoundTable promoted a lot of discussion about what we should be doing to sponsor and encourage the next generation of mediators. One young participant challenged me (ever so politely) to share what I was doing to make a difference. Greg’s blogpost reports the outcome of the conversation at the table – however the conversation has stayed with me.

I have continued to think about what I could do in these pages to support the next generation and it struck me that telling some success stories would be a great start. I thought about 3 new entrants to mediation who had made a great impact on me and I thought interviewing them might reveal great stories and they might share some lessons other young mediators might find helpful.

I was right.

Introducing my trio

Meet three outstanding members of ‘NextGen’ who are at interesting and different stages of building their mediation careers.

                                                  Zeynep Selcuk

Zeynep is the furthest along in her mediation career of my trio. Her path to mediation has been far from linear. Her initial degree in Business Management was interrupted by the receipt of an offer too good to refuse which took her via television into the film industry and finally the Australian Film Commission (AFC).

Her international experiences sparked her interest in humanitarian work. She joined the famous bicycle ride through the Middle East focussing attention on the suffering of women and children caught in conflict – now immortalised in the documentary ‘Follow the Women’.

Seeking opportunities to contribute to humanitarian causes prompted enrolment in a Masters of Arts (Development) and a departure from the AFC to pursue employment as a humanitarian worker engaged in facilitation and training at Caritas.

A role in the UN was part of her plan which in turn led her to undertake a Juris Doctor and the opportunity to be selected in the UNSW team for the ICC International Mediation Competition and the CDRC Vienna. Her love affair with mediation was ignited and she decided to abandon her UN ambitions for a mediation career.

An offer from a senior mediator, facilitator and trainer led to a role in his practice where, as a result of his generosity and sponsorship, she gained significant experience and began to build her own profile in the ADR field. She now runs her own thriving practice and coaches the CDRC team for UNSW and this year was a judge in the ICC Final in Paris. She supports new entrants through her work at Voluntas, a pro-bono mediation service.

Zeynep’s lessons:

• Finding the right people as mentors is vital • Be opportunistic and look for opportunities everywhere • Be persistent in marketing and reminding people you are there.

What a great story!

                                                    Angela Herberholz

Angela’s path to mediation has been similarly unexpected and non-linear.

Her university studies (Bachelor of Applied Science and a MA in European Cultural Studies) give no hint of the passion she was to develop for mediation.

Beginning her career in Germany as an exhibition organiser, she undertook mediation training with her Bachelors degree. A practical module required her to organise a conference. Choosing a mediation conference she encountered Calliope Sudborough, Deputy Manager at the ICC International Centre for ADR. Calliope immediately saw the potential to combine events organisation with mediation.

A role as Project Manager, Events at the ICC Centre for ADR followed her internship there and experiences included the Mediation Competition and its outstanding student competitors. This enhanced her understanding of mediation and the international community of mediators.

In 2010 Angela also became the co-founder of the Young Mediators’ Initiative (YMI) established under the umbrella of IMI with a charter to:

• connect newly trained mediators and mediation advocates worldwide and create a platform to exchange ideas and experiences, and • facilitate interaction with experienced mediators who can offer experience-generation and learning opportunities

Angela returned to the exhibition industry in 2014 to organise global events ‘but as [part of] a people industry, filled with potential conflict and suitable ground for amicable dispute resolution’. She is now program Manager at the Global Association of the Exhibition Industry.

Her passion for mediation remains. Following her double interest in both the exhibition industry and mediation, in her day job she deals with education and training while in her free time she supports YMI. She has actively encouraged its mentorship program to deal with the challenge of many young trained mediators who discover significant barriers to entry. It is a ‘vicious circle where you can’t get mediations unless you have experience and you can’t get experience unless you get mediations’.

This year, Angela joined supporters on the stage at the ICC Competition to announce that YMI has partnered with 5 other international mediation bodies to create the Worldwide Mediation Mentorship Program as a global effort to advance the mediation profession and its new entrants.

Angela picked up the award for Best Judge’s Feedback along the way.

In her free time, Angela enjoys teaching ADR and mediating. She encourages other mediators, young in experience, to work on building a portfolio career allowing mediation enough space to grow.

Angela’s lessons:

• be opportunistic • there are many different paths to mediation – ‘the more diverse your day to day experience the more you add value’.

She has certainly proved a valuable addition to our profession.

                                                   Anna Howard

Of my trio, Anna is at the earliest stage of her mediation career. She tells a great story of how it all began …

‘It all started 14 years ago, though I didn’t know it then. I was practising competition law at an international firm in London and was working on …… a highly technical and protracted dispute. After about 1 and a half years, my client called me and said “Anna, we’ve worked things out.” I asked him how and he said “We met for a drink and we decided to split the difference: 50, 50. I came off the call wondering how I might have helped my client to have had that conversation sooner. I felt frustrated that it had taken so long for the parties to have that important conversation. Fast forward to 2014 and I found myself sitting in a mediation training course and one of the phrases used on the website for that course was: “I wish we’d had this conversation earlier…” I joined up the dots.’

Anna is modest about her stellar accomplishments. Like the other members of this trio, mediation was not her career goal. Daughter of a Brazilian mother and English father, it is not surprising that she is a linguist and took modern languages at Oxford. However, earning one of the prized sponsorships from a top tier London law firm encouraged her to pursue law and enter legal practice. A career in anti-trust and trade law followed – but something was missing.

Anna describes this by reference to Susan Cain:

“The secret to life is to put yourself in the right lighting. For some, it’s a broadway spotlight; for others, a lamplit desk.”

She knew the law firm ‘lighting’ was not the right lighting and did not deliver the sense of purpose she needed.

Fate intervened.

A family move to Singapore gave her professional freedom to rethink a career and take a risk that perhaps she would not have taken in London.

Applying to teach at Singapore Management University she met Ian Macduff, another contributor to these pages, who talked enthusiastically about mediation.

Then came an unexpected return to the UK – legal practice did not beckon. She followed Ian’s advice, training with John Sturrock, and found herself reflecting that ‘this feels like the right lighting’. Ian also encouraged her to apply for the role of Associate Editor of this Blog.

University teaching beckoned and an opportunity arose at Queen Mary University of London to do a Ph.D. The dots continued to join up as she realised she could combine research and mediation, choosing a subject based on the EU mediation directive.

Now in the last year of her doctorate, Ian Macduff and John Sturrock remain generous mentors who continue to give her opportunities including as a mediation observer and facilitator. Her future combines university teaching in mediation and exploring possibilities to mediate, perhaps in the company of another young mediator. Watch this space!

Anna’s lessons

• the dual themes of simplicity and complexity experienced in mediation are engaging challenges • generous mentors and sponsors make a great difference • the enthusiasm of students for mediation is infectious and encouraging

My learning

We old hands don’t need to worry. We do need to be generous sponsors but we can be confident.

The future is safe.

More from our authors:

EU Mediation Law Handbook: Regulatory Robustness Ratings for Mediation Regimes by Nadja Alexander, Sabine Walsh, Martin Svatos (eds.) € 195 Essays on Mediation: Dealing with Disputes in the 21st Century by Ian Macduff (ed.) € 160.00

from Updates By Suzanne http://mediationblog.kluwerarbitration.com/2019/03/22/welcome-to-the-future-showcasing-the-next-generation-of-mediators-stepping-up-and-stepping-out/

[hanzi83]

It’s been a while

I have not written a blog since the Trump presidency has begun, but if you follow me on social media, you know I have been active on there, periscope, and even Facebook live, spewing my conspiracy theories, ranting irrationally about my depression, while people sit idly by and pretend they actually care about other people’s mental illness, when these industry types who preach about people getting help etc sit back and watch others break down for their own amusement. If these people actually gave a fuck about mental illness, maybe start with the vultures who run your industry who help perpetuate this type of behavior and have rewarded it and in the process dumbed down an entire generation.

I don’t want to get into it in detail because I am unsure if this blog will even post. I tried to write one on New Years because again I am left alone while local people I know have been rewarded from my misery and then pretend they actually give a fuck about me, when they love taking from me and then pretending they care. Then they show up on my social media platforms under false names and start name dropping a bunch of personal things they know about me and I am stuck here useless which works to their advantage, because no one believes anything I say and even if they do, they know they can’t say a word so they play dumb about it.

I think these people want me to do something to myself so they have an excuse to take action against me. I am the victim of gang stalking because I chose to be open about how I don’t think the world is run the way it is, and now because of that, people in my life and other paid trolls have made it a mission to be transparent as fuck with what is going on and they will use my own mental illness against me.  They want to talk about how they care about me, but these cowards allow paid trolls to harass me constantly and try to bait me out and put out traps for me to fall into.

No one in the media will ever investigate this, and I am not the only one who is being gang stalked. I am not the only one who is being monitored constantly and seen as red flags. I don’t know what these people have in store for me. Even when I am writing on my lap top, in what is supposed to be my personal journal,  I know it is monitored heavily and they even move my cursor around while I am typing to make their presence known and wanting me to go crazy. The genius part about this is, no one will help, because everyone in this has been compromised.

These same people pretend they are nice family people, yet their marriages are only based off convenience because their expendable ass is only needed to have kids and then neglect them so they can watch me on my social media platforms, and if they are not doing that they are probably bombarding every hip hop site to promote their white supremacist talking points in the comment sections. These people to me are not randomly typing stuff on the internet, they are paid to do so.

They have limited me to my very core in hopes that I lose my mind and reach out for their help because they know I am supposed to be valuable to the game, yet they can’t feed me my ego yet so they want me to ask for their help so I owe them something, when they all owe me for making their lives better and my connection to the Stern Show has opened backdoor deals for all of these people to prosper. Whether its meeting celebrities, getting to contribute to movies/television,  having elaborate gatherings,  and then inviting me to the limited ones, because you can’t have me at your gathering unless you get some profit out of it. There is no other reason why these people give a fuck about me. When it comes to their agendas, they will take care of it first. No one in the media will ever investigate it because even the “good” alternate media is also controlled.  Stern can take the appropriate measures to fuck with me. By the way, these are just theories, I don’t have any proof and even if I did, it would not be allowed to be investigated because these people are all controlled and for some reason they have chosen me to fuck with and will continue to fuck with.

It is very scary what is going on. And it seems with Trump in office, even though I feel he doesn’t have the real power, the people who are controlling these situations have an excuse to fuck with people even more. I don’t know if this is on purpose,  so it becomes defeated, but someone doesn’t like that I pointed out Stern has connection to Trump, and even though he let it leak that he donated 1000 bucks to Hilary, it was meant, in my opinion, to be a distraction from the fact he donated to Trump, even as far as being shocked that he won and got upset at his staff for voting for him, and I wonder who is controlled staff takes orders from to vote for someone of Trump’s stature.

Now I am being watched and monitored constantly. I did this to myself, hoping that I could die someday but clearly these people don’t want me to leave, because it is a lot more fun to torture me mentally and emasculate for their own amusement because they hate that they are in fake marriages and have to have kids that they don’t want and then completely neglect them because they are in the closet. That’s fine, but when these cowardly types do that it’s for business purposes so they can spew racist propaganda. That’s why when someone of color says something slightly homophobic, they will generalize and say it is  a part of their community and culture, while a bunch of right wing type who are in the closet spew racist rhetoric and get away with it because people behind the scenes know they are gay, and yet you can’t make that accusation that there is a lot of racism in that community, because it would be wrong to generalize people like that, but these industry cowards get away with it and smile gleefully while  perpetuating and promoting we need more anti Muslim movies that exist

Nothing will ever stop. These people are committed to fully stalking anything I do online and organize paid harassment and these same industry cowards, who don’t make their money entertaining, it’s trolling online for side money, will ridicule people who need safe spaces, while they are the ones who need safe spaces because they would rather harass people online and not admit who they are because they have an image to stay true to. It’s fucking garbage. I fucking hate all these people who have been forced to do this and how they all take pleasure from it.

I despise that these do gooders in the industry will promote the suicide hotline after the fact that someone kills themselves, and pat themselves on the backs for it, when they could just speak out against the people who help cause this and when you point this out, they will act like someone such as myself has not taken accountability for it, while they refuse to take accountability for what they contribute to and how many lies they put out in this world and then play “I am just an entertainer” card and advocating free speech, all while ridiculing people mentally into silence.

I wish I could stay away but I never expected to be alive this long and the fact that I am, I am just filling up time. I don’t care who is getting married or who is having kids. I don’t want to be here for any of it because I don’t fit this mold that is expected of me in the world and instead of granting me my wish of letting me leave this world, they will make me stay and have to cry myself to sleep thinking about how much my own family and friends have done without me. And then I am the asshole because I want to express myself and then when I do, I will pay the price for it because that is what these people do to me. No one actually gives a fuck about me nor have they ever. People need me they said, and then leave it at those vague answers, while I think Stern and his posse organizing harassment online. Even with people seemingly believing me, it won’t do anything. No one wants to speak out about this and they will sit back and watch until something happens to me and then for their fucking fake internet points and likes, they will start showing some support or compassion. It is disgusting how selfish these pieces of shit are.

By the way they probably won’t let this one post. I remember I wrote 5-6 pages worth on New year where I wanted to bitch about people locally having such secrecy and transparency at the time and it was not allowed to post, but for some reason I was allowed to post one sentence about how my post won’t show up. I posted it 30 times and the original one did not post. So they are fucking with my speech and my movements.

People can only interact with me on fake accounts so they can tell me certain truths, name dropping food I have consumed that day to make it seem like they know, but then pretend they are nobody trolls who are just fans of mine. These people are not fans of mine. If they are, they are the worst fucking fans of existence. They will hype me up, while at the same time putting me down for even thinking I am worth more than what they present in the system. They all are now showing off their perks on their various radio shows and still have not even thanked me for contributing to it and helping it out, while they stole my ideas and my likeness.

As I type this right now, they will keep watching me and monitoring it. They will eventually have hold of my personal journal and leak it out and then blame me for writing personal stuff in there because that is what they do. They will find a way to fuck with me more. The sad part is these are people who I known since I was a little kid, and these people are also after me like no other. They won’t admit it, none of them will. They even say shit like “We can’t have you doing that, and ruin our lives” but they are okay with ruining my life and leaving me vulnerable for their own gain. It is sickening. I don’t want to be here and I wish at some point they can take me out of here and it feels like more and more they are planning my demise.

I have decided to see a therapist and even then that will be provided me by the same system that is fucking with me. They want someone to monitor what I will say so they can report it back and if I even tell them this, they will obviously deny it because officially these people can’t admit they are reporting this shit to people, but when gangstalking is involved, and you are on a monitored list, you can oversee anything and have a justified excuse to do it because to most common folk I am a danger to society, even though I am not a violent person, and I don’t have access to any weapons. I hope you people are happy with what you have accomplished in tearing another human being down  and then pretending you care about protecting people etc, all this while you make numerous people around the globe feel like they are the most mentally ill people in this world.  I would expect this blog to guilt some people, but most of them are soulless individuals and even if it affects them they will find ways to project it on to other people and make them suffer because their feelings are the ones who are fragile and can’t take any criticism because they are in the in crowd and then they show up as regular people in front of my face and act like they want to partner up for a podcast. I don’t have any interest in partnering up with any cowardly person who has harassed me online and posted lies about me online. They put out stuff like “Hanzi threatened Howard” knowing fully that I didn’t threaten anyone, but these buzzwords create a red flag and have people looking into me. That is what these other radio show hosts do as well, because most of these entertainers are working for people in these positions. This is all my opinion. Again I have no facts, and even if I did, none of you will care to believe me because none of you want to break the  system, you want it to keep flourishing with white supremacist talking points that is so embedded into the system, that’s why they fight hard for white supremacists freedom of speech, while minorities don’t even have free movement.