#and have the love interest just put up with it

[exhaled-spirals]

« "Oh, I've always sucked at maths!"

I’m getting a little blasé. This must be at least the tenth time I’ve heard that remark today.

Yet this lady has been here at my stall for a good fifteen minutes, standing with a group of other passersby, listening attentively while I describe various geometrical curiosities. That’s how the conversation started.

"But what do you do for a living?" she asked me.

"I’m a mathematician."

"Oh, I've always sucked at maths myself!"

"Really? But you seemed to be interested in what I was just talking about."

"Yes… but that’s not really maths… that was understandable."

I hadn’t heard that one before. Is mathematics, by definition, a discipline that can’t be understood?

It’s the beginning of August, in [...] La Flotte-en-Ré, France. In [the] small summer market, I have a pop-up – there is henna tattooing and afro braids to my right, a mobile-phone accessory stall to my left, and a display of jewels and trinkets of all kinds opposite me. I’ve set up my maths stand in the middle of all this. Holidaymakers stroll peacefully by in the cool of the evening. I particularly like doing maths in unusual places. Where people aren’t expecting it. Where they are not on their guard…

"Can’t wait to tell my parents I did some maths during the holidays!" a high school kid says to me, after stopping by my stall on his way back from the beach.

I do have to catch them unawares. But you’ve got to do what you’ve got to do. This is one of my favourite moments: observing the expression on the faces of people who thought that they had fallen out with maths for good at the instant when I tell them that they have just been doing maths for fifteen minutes. And my stall is always crowded! [...]

No matter how much this amuses me, on balance I find it upsetting. How has it come about that we need to hide from people the fact that they are doing maths before they can take some pleasure in it? Why is the word so frightening? One thing is certain: had I put up a sign above my table proclaiming ‘Mathematics’ as visibly as ‘Jewels and necklaces’, ‘Phones’ or ‘Tattooing’ on the stalls around me, I would not have had a quarter of the same success. People would not have stopped. Perhaps they would even have turned away and averted their gaze.

And yet, the curiosity is there. I observe this every day. Mathematics may scare people, but it also fascinates. Many, who don't like it, would like to like it—or at least to be able to peep at will into its murky mysteries. Many think it is inaccessible. But this is not true. It is perfectly possible to love music without being a musician, or to like to share a nice meal without being a great cook. Then why should you have to be a mathematician, or someone exceptionally clever, in order to be open to hearing about mathematics and to enjoy having your imagination tickled by algebra or geometry? It is not necessary to delve into the technical details in order to understand the great ideas and to be able to marvel at them. »

— Mickaël Launay, It All Adds Up: Humans and Mathematics From Prehistory to Modern Day

[forever-rogue]

Salty

AN | Hello, as you all know Joel is alive and well and there are shenanigans afoot in Jackson. Enjoy💕

Pairing | Joel Miller x Fem!Reader 

Warnings | Language 

Word Count | 2.6k

Masterlist | Joel, Main 

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

You loved Joel.

Joel loved you (you hoped anyway) and Ellie.

Ellie hated you.

After just over half a year in Jackson, you had finally put two and two together. All those little things you’d thought were accidents or odd coincidences weren't that at all.

Everything came down to one Ellie Williams. And that led to you making a decision you immediately hated.

“I don’t think we… should spend time together anymore.” The lump in your throat was thick, and you focused your attention on the vegetables you were tending, refusing to look at the man. You’d rehearsed this very moment in your head about two hundred times, and still, it wasn’t going to plan. Sigh.

The man next to you was silent for a few beats, trying to decide if you were being serious. When you didn’t say anything further but he heard your sniffle, he realized this wasn’t a joke at all.

“Oh? And just how did you reach that conclusion, darlin’?”

“I just… I dunno, Joel. It just seems like the right thing to do.” You shrugged, adding the carrots you'd unearthed into the basket between the two of you. “I don’t… I don’t want you to get the wrong idea and think I’m… interested.”

A heavy silence fell over you; you tried to continue working, but Joel remained dumbfounded, watching your every move.

“Okay,” he eventually said, causing you to relax slightly. “I’ll do as you ask and respect your wishes and all that. You gonna tell me what changed suddenly?”

“Nothing,” you lied. You’d thought about telling him the truth but highly doubted he’d believe you. He’d never think his baby girl would do something so downright vicious. “It’s just… what I want.”

“Alright.” He stood up and wiped his hands on his jeans, capturing your attention. “I’ll leave you to it. I think you can handle it from here, right? I wouldn’t want to get the wrong idea.”

“Joel—” His name came out as a huff, but before you could get any further, he had already walked away.

You watched after him until he was out of your sight before hastily wiping at the tears rolling down your cheeks. This hurt even worse than you had anticipated. Ellie would probably leave you alone now that you weren’t pursuing her dad or trying to take him away from her.

“I guess it’s just you and me again.” You pulled a few more carrots out of the dirt and tossed them to the side. You were going to need a new hobby to occupy your mind.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

The first time something strange had happened, you had been baking a cake for Joel's birthday. You were in the restaurant kitchen, having talked Seth into letting you use the space to keep your plans secret.

You were almost done mixing the dry ingredients when you couldn’t find the sugar.

“Where is it…” You looked through cabinets, sure you’d seen the container at some point. Without sugar, you definitely weren’t going to finish this cake.

“Looking for this?” There was a smile on Ellie’s face as she set an unlabeled bag down next to your bowl. You relaxed and nodded. “Sorry, I was using it earlier. Totally forgot to put it back.”

“No worries at all,” you said, grabbing the measuring cup and adding the sugar to your bowl. “I was starting to worry I’d imagined it.”

“Hmm.” Ellie watched you work in silence for a few minutes. “What’s this for?”

“I’m making a cake… for Joel.” Your face warmed as a flash of annoyance shot across hers. She was well aware of what you were doing, having overheard you talking to Tommy. “I figured it’d be something nice for him.”

“That’s really sweet of you,” she smiled. “I’m sure he’ll love it.”

“I hope so,” you agreed.

Unfortunately, fortune seemed determined to make a fool of you.

You’d stopped at Joel’s house to deliver the cake, wanting to make it casual.

“Happy birthday,” you sang, holding up the cake with an eager look. Your heart beat nervously as a smile tugged at the corners of his mouth. “It’s not much, but I hope you like it.”

“It’s amazing,” he whispered, heart constricting at the sweet gesture. It had been a long time since someone had baked him a birthday cake. “C’mon in. We can cut right into it.”

“Oh,” you smiled shyly, finding it hard to meet his eyes. “I don’t want to intrude.”

“You’re always welcome here,” he said, firm but still soft. “And I insist.”

“Okay.” You followed him inside, setting the cake on the table. Joel grabbed a couple of forks, plates, and a knife. “Is Ellie here? Should we cut some for her?”

“She’s off at Dina’s,” he shook his head. “It’s just us.”

“Well here, let me.” You cut into the cake, placing large slices on each plate. You sat down across from him, pushing a plate toward him. “Happy birthday, Joel.”

“It certainly is now.” You tried not to freak out as you took a bite. Joel did the same.

As soon as you started chewing, you realized it tasted… terrible. Gritty and salty. Anything but sweet and decadent. You reluctantly swallowed and cast a forlorn look at Joel, who was clearly trying to school his expression.

“This is disgusting,” you said, horrified. “I—I must’ve added salt instead of sugar. Fuck. I should’ve paid more attention, but I thought… Ellie handed me the sugar.”

“It’s…” Joel, bless his heart, tried to make it seem better than it was.

“Terrible,” you insisted, trying not to cry. “I’m so sorry. I ruined it all.”

“It’s not… the worst thing ever.”

“Joel.”

“It’s pretty bad,” he admitted with a grimace, “but it’s the thought. Even if that’s cliché.”

“Well,” you sighed with a grimace, “maybe next time will be better.”

Joel reached across the table and placed his hand on top of yours. His touch made your stomach flip. “It’s okay, really. Thank you for this.”

“Happy birthday,” you whispered. Your face was warm, and you swore you saw a light blush on his cheeks.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

The second time you were sure that you had bad luck. Everyone has bad luck sometimes, right?

It was spring, finally warm enough not to require multiple layers. There was a barbecue going on, and Joel had asked if you wanted to go with him. He hadn’t said it was a date—but he hadn’t not.

You’d put on a sundress, feeling prettier than you had in a long time.

But as you walked to Joel’s house, something slippery on the porch made you slide off and into a lingering patch of mud.

A scream escaped your lips. You weren’t hurt—just covered in mud from head to toe. Your shoes had fallen off. Tears of frustration fell down your face, which only smeared the muck.

“Are you okay?” Joel ran outside, worried. When he saw what had happened, he had to fight a smile. He was glad you weren’t hurt—but it was a little funny. You let out a frustrated huff. He stepped off the porch and held out his hand. “Oh, darlin’.”

Just as you reached for him, he slipped and landed next to you. His surprised face made you giggle. Reaching over to wipe a spot off his cheek, you shook your head.

“Hi.”

“Hi.” He smiled. “I’d say we make a fine pair.”

“Unfortunately, I think we’ll have to clean up and change before we do anything,” you teased. Joel looked at you with nothing short of fondness. “Why’re you looking at me like that?”

“No reason,” he said, leaning in. You leaned in too. “I’m just thinking I’d really like to kiss you right now.”

“Oh?” You were ready to finally close the gap when the front door burst open.

“Hey!” Ellie’s voice made you both jump apart. “What happened?”

“Slipped and fell,” you both said in unison.

“You should be more careful,” she said directly to you, brown eyes hard. “Wouldn’t want anything to happen.”

Then she turned and went back inside. A shiver ran down your spine.

“C’mon.” Joel got to his feet and helped you up. “Let’s get you cleaned up, yeah?”

“Thanks,” you said softly.

Something inside your stomach twisted. Something was going on.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

The third time you were sure that none of the things that had been happening were accidental.

Joel had asked you on a date—made it very clear it was a date. Even though it was just Joel, you were full of butterflies.

You settled on an outfit and went into the bathroom to finish getting ready. Everything needed to be perfect.

Until… you tried to leave the bathroom and couldn’t. You jiggled the knob, convinced it was stuck, but after a few seconds of no success, you realized you were locked in.

You exhaled sharply, trying not to panic. This wasn’t an accident—but you weren’t in real danger either.

You banged on the door. “Ellie! Let me out! Please let me out!”

No response. But you thought you heard creaking down the hall. She wasn’t coming back.

You sat on the toilet, head in your hands. This was the worst. All you had wanted was a date with Joel. You couldn’t even have that.

Eventually, you pried open the bathroom window, grateful you lived in a one-story house. You squeezed out and fell a few feet onto the hard ground with a small oof.

Brushing yourself off, you made your way to Joel’s house, ready to set things straight.

Only one light was on. He wasn’t home. Your heart sank.

You knocked loudly. “Ellie!”

After a moment, the door flew open. She stood there, surprised. You laughed bitterly. “Surprised to see me?”

“I-I don’t know what you’re talking about…”

“Cut the shit,” you snapped, tears pricking at the back of your eyes. “Why have you been doing this to me? And don’t even try to lie—I know it’s been you.”

“I…” She didn’t even bother to lie. “Stay away from Joel. He doesn’t need you. We’re fine without you.”

“Is that what this is about? Me and Joel? Why does it—”

“He doesn’t need you,” she hissed. “Stay away from my dad.”

The door slammed in your face.

You stood there, stunned.

After a few moments, you trudged home, your heart heavy, when you heard your name being called. You turned to see Joel catching up.

“Hey,” he said, falling into step beside you. “What happened? I waited for over an hour, then went to check if you’d gone to—”

“I was locked in my bathroom.” You pinched the bridge of your nose. Joel stared at you, waiting for a punchline. But then he saw your expression—serious.

“I’m sorry, Joel. I didn’t mean to stand you up. I was really looking forward to tonight.”

“How did you…”

“Weird accident.”

“Is everything okay?” he asked, stopping and gently grabbing your wrist. You turned to face him, fighting back tears. He touched your cheek.

“Things have been a little… off lately.”

“Guess I’m just having a spot of bad luck,” you shrugged, refusing to say the real reason. As angry as you were with Ellie, you understood. Joel was her stability—and in her mind, you were a threat.

“It’s nothing, really.”

“Okay,” he said quietly. “Did you still want to grab dinner?”

“Actually, I kind of just want to go home.” You hated the way hope faded from his face.

“I’ll see you around, Joel. Have a good night.”

“Good night.” He gave your hand a squeeze but watched you walk away, his heart heavy.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Two weeks passed.

You caught glimpses of Joel, but that was it. It wasn’t enough. It would never be enough.

You missed him.

One night, as you were getting ready for bed, a knock came at your door. You almost ignored it—but you knew better. No one in Jackson would let you live it down.

With a sigh, you trudged to the door, already annoyed.

“What?” you asked before even looking—only to find Joel standing there, a bemused smile on his face.

You couldn’t stop yourself from smiling. “What are you doing here?”

“I think we should talk.” You swallowed thickly. “Can I come in?”

“Y-yeah.” You stepped aside and led him into the living room. You sat across the couch from him. “What’s up?”

“Ellie told me what happened,” he said. Your shock was evident. “She explained what she did.”

“Oh.”

“She said she hated seeing me so miserable all the time,” he continued, and you realized you weren’t the only one hurting. “She said she felt some remorse.”

“I don’t… I do blame her—because she did those things. But I can understand where she’s coming from.” You shrugged. “She’s trying to protect you. You’re her family. She doesn’t want to lose you. It’s her way of showing love. I can’t fault her for that.”

“I know,” he said. “She told me everything. But it doesn’t make what she did right. You could’ve been seriously hurt. I told her that no matter what happened between us, my love for her wouldn’t change.”

“Of course not.”

“But tell me… were you really ready to never speak to me again?”

“I mean… I wouldn’t be happy about it.” Your face flushed and you couldn’t meet his eyes. “But if that was best for everyone…”

“Do you really think that would’ve been best?”

“Well… no. Now it seems trivial.” You met his honeyed gaze—reverent, gentle. “I’m glad you’re here. I missed you.”

“I missed you too.” He scooted closer. You could feel the heat radiating from his body. “You still want me to stay away?”

“I’m kind of thinking I want you to finally kiss me.”

You didn’t know where the boldness came from, but it had been long enough.

“Is that so?”

“It is—”

Joel kissed you gently, cutting you off. It caught you off guard—but it was perfect.

“Yeah?” His hand was on your cheek, thumb stroking your skin.

“Again?” Your soft request made him chuckle. “Please?”

And he didn’t waste any time.

He kissed you again.

[lordcephalopod]

I went to look at the study and it immediately pissed me off. It's SO poorly designed.

Subjects were asked to read the first seven paragraphs OUT LOUD to facilitator during a 20 minute taped session. For many people reading out loud and reading silently are two VERY DIFFERENT different cognitive processes.

As a kid I was a delayed reader and received a lot of tutoring. I seemed to stall out, then one day they discovered my reading comprehension was actually massively above my grade level...if they let me read silently. Frequently with kids it's actually the other way around, where they over-rely on reading out loud, and struggle to read silently. Don't ask me how it works, I'm not a childhood education person, I've just been on the receiving end of this shit. Point is, it's not consistent person to person. Like you also have my husband's who can read out loud and somehow replace the words on the page with whole ass synonyms and not even realize he did it. Point is, reading aloud MAYBE isn't a great yard stick for everyone.

The study later clarifies that participants who weren't comfortable reading allowed were allowed to read silently but I have so many questions. Did participants have to speak up and say they were uncomfortable? Were they told up front they didn't have to read aloud?

They then had to "translate" what they just read into their own words. Facilitators were instructed to interrupt them to prompt their interpretation if the person kept reading? I'm not sure how this worked for the silent readers. It states: "During the sessions, subjects were asked to read out loud and then translate each sentence of the passage from Bleak House." And they had 20 min to read the 7 paragraphs.

So you're performative reading out loud for an audience with constant interruption. That is an awful setting for comprehending something you're reading. And on top of it all the these poor bastards have to read Dickens? A 19th century author? And by some horrible bout of cruelty they picked fucking BLEAK HOUSE????

For the record. I love Dickens. I do not think he is a "difficult" author. He's probably my favorite 19th century author. However I'd characterize Bleak House as uh... overwrought. Bro was getting paid by the word and boy did it show.

Here's the first paragraph of Bleak House

LONDON. Michaelmas term lately over, and the Lord Chancellor sitting in Lincoln’s Inn Hall. Implacable November weather. As much mud in the streets, as if the waters had but newly retired from the face of the earth, and it would not be wonderful to meet a Megalosaurus, forty feet long or so, waddling like an elephantine lizard up Holborn Hill. Smoke lowering down from chimney-pots, making a soft black drizzle with flakes of soot in it as big as full-grown snowflakes—gone into mourning, one might imagine, for the death of the sun. Dogs, undistinguishable in mire. Horses, scarcely better; splashed to their very blinkers. Foot passengers, jostling one another’s umbrellas, in a general infection of ill-temper, and losing their foot-hold at street-cor- ners, where tens of thousands of other foot passengers have been slipping and sliding since the day broke (if this day ever broke), adding new deposits to the crust upon crust of mud, sticking at those points tenaciously to the pavement, and accumulating at compound interest. (49)

You will note, this is not a paragraph that lends itself well to being broken down sentence by sentence. It's a very stylistic, mood setting opening that's difficult to put to a literal translation on the fly since it's as much trying to establish a vibe as it is describing a street. I would argue a sentence by sentence breakdown of the paragraph would almost be missing the point.

And because it's a 19th century piece, you have period things like the horse's "blinkers" that might just catch students up who are unfamiliar with the time period. Not knowing what an old-timey Thing is isn't a failing of reading comprehension. The paper expressly shit on participants for not understanding a bunch of these words, specifically in the context of Bleak House using a bunch of English legal words that are both UK English and old fashioned. And because this is a TIMED TEST the fact that they don't know random 19th century British legal words is going to impact their reading comprehensions scores. So they get to waste their precious 20 minutes trying to google wtf a thing is, or do the thing MOST readers will do and hope they'll get clarifying context later. But apparently, according to this paper, not stopping every time you hit an unfamiliar word in a 19th century text was the WRONG answer.

Also, just think for a moment. That opening sentence is borderline meaningless to a modern American reader until you have context, and that has nothing to do with your reading comprehension! There's too many likely unknown words, and even if you google them, the grammar is intentionally kinda odd. So it's going to fuck with you if you immediately get quizzed on it. You kinda need the context of the rest of the paragraph to know what the fuck you're looking at. Talk about starting your test subjects off on the back foot.

And because you had to digest and spit out your conclusion for what that sentence meant on the spot, well, it's in your brain now. Have fun adding the context back to it by force later as you get to it!

Also lets admire that absolute chungus of a final sentence. A proper chunky boy there. Wouldn't you love reading that out loud and needing to explain that absolute unit on the fly while on camera and being judged for reading comprehension? Lmao, I understand it just fine sitting here, but no, I would die on the spot.

Like. Were the makers of this test pranking the participants on purpose? This almost feels like bad faith? This is a perfectly fine, if dense paragraph if you're allowed to read the damn thing like a normal person, not if you have to go sentence by sentence on something so intentionally stylistic. THAT'S NOT HOW READING COMPREHENSION FUCKING WORKS???

The longer I read the study the more I just felt like the makers of the study were setting people up to fail and were being dicks on purpose. I am seriously flabbergasted.

Though the people who didn't get figures of speech were a bit embarrassing I'll give them that. But that could still be easily chalked up to the bizarre testing parameters of stopping every sentence of 19th century purple ass prose to "translate" short circuiting a person's ability to make sense of the words that just tumbled into their eyes and out of their face hole.

Like, I'm not saying my thing is 100% what swayed the results. When I started college back in the stone age of like 2006 English majors had to take a grammar course because they'd found the high schools had been shitting us out so bad at grammar we needed an extra class. We have some real problems with literacy happening in this country and it's been going on for a long time. But I have REAL. SOLID BEEF WITH THIS TESTING METHODOLOGY

i appreciated this study: "They Can't Read Very Well: A Study of the Reading Comprehension Skills Of English Majors At Two Midwestern Universities"

essentially, a pair of professors set out to test their intuitive sense that students at the college level were struggling with complex text. they recruited 85 students, a mix of english majors and english education majors - so, theoretically, people focusing on literature, and people preparing to teach adolescents how to read literature - and had them read-while-summarizing the first seven paragraphs of dickens's bleak house (or as much as they made it through in the 20 minute session). they provided dictionaries and also said students could use their phones to look up whatever they wanted, including any unfamiliar words or references. they found that the majority of the students - 58%, or 49 out of the 85 students - functionally could not understand dickens at all, and only 5% - a mere 4 out of the 85 students - proved themselves proficient readers (leaving the remaining 38%, or 32 students, as what the study authors deemed "competent" students, most of whom could understand about half the literal meaning - pretty low bar for competence - although a few of whom, they note, did much better than the rest in this group if not quite well enough to be considered proficient).

what i really appreciated about this study was its qualitative descriptions of the challenges and reading behaviors of what the authors call "problematic readers" (that bottom 58%), which resonated strongly with my own experiences of students who struggle with reading. here's their blunt big picture overview of these 49 students:

The majority of these subjects could understand very little of Bleak House and did not have effective reading tactics. All had so much trouble comprehending concrete detail in consecutive clauses and phrases that they could not link the meaning of one sentence to the next. Although it was clear that these subjects did try to use various tactics while they read the passage, they were not able to use those tactics successfully. For example, 43 percent of the problematic readers tried to look up words they did not understand, but only five percent were able to look up the meaning of a word and place it back correctly into a sentence. The subjects frequently looked up a word they did not know, realized that they did not understand the sentence the word had come from, and skipped translating the sentence altogether.

the idea that they had so many trouble with every small piece of a text that they could not connect ideas on a sentence by sentence basis is very familiar to me from teaching and tutoring, as was the habit of thought seen in the example of the student who gloms on to the word "whiskers" in a sea of confusion and guesses incorrectly that a cat is present - struggling readers, in my experience, seem to use familiar nouns as stepping stones in a flood of overwhelm, hopping as best they can from one seemingly familiar image to the next. so was this observation, building off the example of a student who misses the fact that dickens is being figurative when he imagines a megalodon stalking the streets of london:

She first guesses that the dinosaur is just “bones” and then is stuck stating that the bones are “waddling, um, all up the hill” because she can see that Dickens has the dinosaur moving. Because she cannot logically tie the ideas together, she just leaves her interpretation as is and goes on to the next sentence. Like this subject, most of the problematic readers were not concerned if their literal translations of Bleak House were not coherent, so obvious logical errors never seemed to affect them. In fact, none of the readers in this category ever questioned their own interpretations of figures of speech, no matter how irrational the results. Worse, their inability to understand figurative language was constant, even though most of the subjects had spent at least two years in literature classes that discussed figures of speech. Some could correctly identify a figure of speech, and even explain its use in a sentence, but correct responses were inconsistent and haphazard. None of the problematic readers showed any evidence that they could read recursively or fix previous errors in comprehension. They would stick to their reading tactics even if they were unhappy with the results.

i have seen this repeatedly, too - actually i was particularly taken with how similar this is to the behavior of struggling readers at much younger ages - and would summarize the hypothesis i have forged over time as: struggling readers do not expect what they read to make sense. my hypothesis for why this is the case is that their reading deficits were not attended to or remediated adequately early enough, and so, in their formative years - the early to mid elementary grades - they spent a lot of time "reading" things that did not make sense to them - in fact they spent much more time doing this than they ever did reading things that did make sense to them - and so they did not internalize a meaningful subjective sense of what it feels like to actually read things.

like, i've said this before, but the year i taught third grade i had multiple students who told me they loved reading and then when i asked them about a book they were reading revealed that they had absolutely no idea what was going on - on a really basic literal level like "didn't know who said which lines of dialogue" and "couldn't identify which things or characters given pronouns referred to" - and were as best as i could tell sort of constructing their own story along the way using these little bits of things they thought they understood. that's what "reading" was, in their heads. and they were, in the curriculum/model that we used at the private school where i taught, receiving basically no support to clarify that that was not what reading was, nor any instruction that would actually help them with what they needed to do to improve (understand sentences) - and i realized over the course of that year that the master's program that had certified me in teaching elementary school had provided me with very little understanding of how to help these kids (with perhaps the sole exception of the class i took on communications disorders, not because these kids had communications disorders but because that was the only class where we ever talked, even briefly, about things like sentence structures that students may need instruction in and practice with to comprehend independently). when it comes to the literal, basic understanding of a text, the model of reading pedagogy i was taught has about 6 million little "tools" that all boil down to telling kids who functionally can't read to try harder to read. this is not productive, in my experience and opinion, for kids whose maximum effort persistently yields confusion. but things are so dysfunctional all the way up and down the ladder that you can be a senior in college majoring in english without anyone but a pair of professors with a strong work ethic noticing that you can't actually read.

couple other notes:

obviously it's a small study but i'm not sure i see a reason to believe these are particularly outlierish results (ACT scores - an imperfect metric but not a meritless one IMO for reading specifically, where the task mostly really is to read a set of texts written for the educated layperson and answer factual questions about them - were a little bit above the national average)

the study was published last year, but the research was conducted january to april 2015. so there's no pandemic influence, no AI issue - these are millennials who now would span roughly ages 28-32 (i guess it's possible one of the four first-year students was one of the very first members of gen z lol). if you're in your late 20s or early 30s, we are talking about people your age, and whatever the culprit is here, it was happening when you were in school.

i think some people might want to blame this on NCLB but i find this unconvincing for a variety of reasons. first of all, NCLB did not pass because everyone in 2001 agreed that education was super hunky-dory; in fact, the sold a story podcast outlines how an explicit goal of NCLB was to train teachers in systematic phonics instruction, because that was not the norm when NCLB was passed, and an unfortunate outcome was that phonics became politicized in ed world. second, anyone who understands anything about reading should need about ten minutes max to spend some time on standardized test prep and recognize that if your goal is truly to maximize scores... then the vast majority of your instructional time should be spent on improving actual reading skills because you actually can't meaningfully game these tests by "practicing main idea questions" (timothy shanahan addresses this briefly near the top of this post). so i find it very difficult to believe that any school that pivoted to multiple choice drill time in an attempt to boost reading scores was teaching reading effectively pre-NCLB, because no set of competent literacy professionals would think that would work even for the goal of raising test scores. third, NCLB mandated yearly testing in grades 3-8 but only one test year in high school; kansas set its reading and math test year in high school as tenth grade. so theoretically these kids all had two years of sweet sweet freedom from NCLB in which their teachers could have done whatever the fuck they wanted to teach these kids to actually read. the fact that they didn't suggests perhaps there were other problems afoot. fourth, and maybe most saliently for this particular study, the sample text was the first seven paragraphs of a novel - in other words, the exact kind of short incomplete text that NCLB allegedly demanded excessive time spent on. i'm not really sure what universe it makes sense in that students who can't read the first seven paragraphs of a novel would have become much better reader if everything else had been the same but they had been making completely wack associations based on nonsense guesses for all 300 pages instead. (if you read the study it's really clear that for problematic readers, things go off the rails immediately, in a way that a good program targeted at teaching mastery of text of 500 words or less would have done something about.)

all but 3 of the students reported A's and B's in their english classes and, again, 69% of them are juniors and seniors, so like... i mean idk kudos to these professors for being like "hold up can these kids actually read?" but clearly something is wack at the college level too [in 2015] if you can make your way through nearly an entire english major without being able to read the first seven paragraphs of a dickens novel. (once again i really do encourage you to look at the qualitative samples in the study, lest you think i am being uncharitable by summarizing understandable misunderstandings or areas of confusion that may resolve themselves with further exposure to the text as "can't read.") not to mention the fact that most students could not what they had learned in previous or current english classes and when asked to name british and american authors and/or works of the nineteenth century, roughly half the sample at each college could name at most one.

the authors of the study are struck by the fact that students who cannot parse the first 3 sentences of bleak house feel very confident about their ability to read the entire novel, and discover that this seeming disconnect is resolved by the fact that these students seem to conceptualize "reading" as "skimming and then reading sparknotes." i think it's really tempting to Kids These Days this phenomenon (although again these are people who in some cases have now been in the workforce for a decade) and categorize it as laziness or a lack of effort, but i think that there is, as i described above, a real and sincere confusion over what "reading" is in which this makes a certain logical sense because it's not like they have some store of actual reading experiences to compare it to. i also think it's pretty obvious looking at just how wildly severed from actual textual comprehension their readings are that these are not - or at least not entirely - students who could just work harder and master the entirety of bleak house all on their own. like i don't think you get from "charles dickens is describing a bunch of dinosaur bones actually walking the streets of london" to comfortably reading nineteenth century literature by just trying harder. i really just don't (and i say that acknowledging i personally have had students who like... were good readers if i was forcing them to work at it constantly... but i have also had students, including ones getting ready to enter college, who were clearly giving me everything they had and what they had was at the present moment insufficient). i think that speaks to a missing skillset that they don't know are missing, because they don't have any other experience of "reading" to compare it to.

just wanna highlight again that although they don't give the breakdown some of these students are not just english majors but english education majors a.k.a. the high school english teachers of tomorrow. some of them may be teaching high school english right now, in case anyone wishes to consider whether "maybe some high school english teachers can't read the first seven paragraphs of bleak house?" should be kept in mind when we discuss present-day educational ills.

[tbaluver]

Hellooo!! Good day/night to you🥹 If it's alright I would like to put in a request, wherein, MC did the "act fast, I'm a random woman" to the LADs men😉. I've been seeing that trend all over my fyp and thought—what if it was them.

"Pretend I'm A Random Woman!"- The Love And DeepSpace Men

parings in order: Xavier x Reader, Zayne x Reader, Rafayel x Reader, Sylus x Reader, Caleb x Reader genre: fluff fluff + silly a/n: hihi anonnie! ⸜(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡ this is so funny bc ive also been seeing this on my fyp too! ( ˵ •̀ □ •́ ˵ ) xavier puts his speed of light to use, raf gets two attemps bc he gets a lil too into the role and caleb gets a second chance bc hes just down bad for you (ᵕ—ᴗ—) i hope this was alright and that you enjoy reading! (∩˃o˂∩)♡ any likes and reblogs are always appreciated! enjoy!

⋆｡‧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚‧｡⋆

Xavier:

 “Xavier, quick! Pretend I’m another woman!” you shout quickly as you lunge toward him, arms outstretched—only to find nothing in front of you but air?

You spin around and he’s already behind you.

You rush him again, only for a flash of light to flicker and he’s out of your reach again. You keep trying and trying but each time you move closer to him, he’s already behind you, farther than before.

Finally as you’re left panting, he yawns lazily and extends an arm toward you. “I’m getting sleepy, he mutters. “Can we stop playing pretend now?”

Zayne:

“Zayne, quick! Pretend I’m another woman!” you blurt out, rushing toward him with a mischievous grin as you try to wrap your arms around his broad shoulders.

He easily steps aside, avoiding your embrace. His hands gently catch  your wrists, guiding them away with ease to keep some distance between you both

“Excuse me,” he says, clearing his throat as he adjusts his glasses. “I’m not interested. If you continue to act like a suspicious Wanderer, I may have to report you to the Hunter’s Association—where my wife happens to work.”

His voice is calm but the cold gaze in his eyes stop you in your tracks. The act is already over the moment it began.

Slowly, his expression softens. He tilts his head, resting his hand gently on your head. “Does that answer the idea in your head?” he asks, amusement flickering behind his eyes.

You stammer, cheeks warm as you nod. He said the word wife.

“I’m not interested in other women if that's what you’re worried about” he says softly, brushing his fingers through your hair. “Let alone let you pretend to be one. How about we try something else?”

Rafayel:

Attempt 1:

“Quick Raf! Pretend I’m another woman!” you blurt out, throwing your arms around him as you lean in to kiss him. Instantly his smile fades away, replaced by panic when you try to wrap your arms around him and try to kiss him.

Immediately, he jerks his head back, his hands flying up in defense as he dodges your lips. “Ew ew! I HAVE A GIRLFRIEND GET AWAY FROM ME”

Attempt 2:

“Quick Raf. Pretend I’m some random girl trying to flirt with you.”

Without missing a beat, he slips into character, face turning uninterested the moment you walk up to him.

“Heyy, sir, are you—”

He cuts you off with a raised hand. “Excuse me,” he says flatly. “I’m trying to find my girlfriend, who is a hunter and also just happens to be very skilled with a gun.”  He throws you a smug smirk, tilting his head as he strolls away.

Sylus:

“Sylus! Quick, pretend I’m a random woman!” you blurt out, charging toward him—only to be instantly caught mid-air by crimson red tendrils that lift you off the ground before you can even get close.

From below, Sylus smirks up at you. “If it were a random woman, she’d have been gone before she even blinked.”

“Sy—!” you groan, embarrassed as you float in air jail. His evol didn't hurt you compared to the first time you guys met whereas this time they gently wrap around you.

He chuckles, thoroughly amused. “Did you really think I’d let just anyone run up and throw themselves at me like that?” His crimson eyes follow your gentle descent down from the air as he raises a brow.

“Only you get away with that kind of nonsense sweetie.” He says softly, taking your hands gently as he meets your gaze.

Caleb:

Attempt 1:

“Quick, Caleb—pretend I’m some random girl!” you blurt out, barely giving him time to react. Before he can even respond, you stand on your tiptoes while you throw your arms around his neck, and plant a kiss on his lips.

He kisses you back instinctively, his brows knitting together in confusion as you pull away.

“Caleb!” you gasp, “You’d kiss another girl that easily if it wasn’t me?”

He stares at you, finally realizing what you meant. It was another one of your pranks. “Wait, what? Sorry, pipsqueak—I didn’t catch what you said,” he says, rubbing the back of his neck with a sheepish grin. “It’s just..reflexes when it comes to you.”

He grins, stepping closer. “Besides, I couldn’t picture you as anyone else, even if I tried.”

Attempt 2:

This time Caleb was ready for whatever test you launched at him. The second you sprinted toward him with the same mischievous grin, he raised a brow, already seeing through you.

“Caleb! Pretend I’m some random—” Before you could even finish your sentence, you felt your body moving backwards? You blinked in surprise, realizing he was using his evol to keep a good distance between you and him—without even sparing you a glance.

ʚɞ cr. for the dividers @/ cafekitsune

ʚɞ thank you as always to my lovely beta reader @ilovemitsuya MWAH ( ˶˘ ³˘)♡

ʚɞ 𝘕𝘢𝘷𝘪𝘨𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯:

ʚɞ my other works if you want to check it out! The Love And DeepSpace Masterlist, Pg. 2

ʚɞ Others places you can find me:

Wattpad

Twitter ( but idk how to use it or interact with people .·°՞(¯□¯)՞°·. )

[dailykrusie]

how do you get the strength to persist at krusie in such a suselle world? (aka what are your thoughts on krusie)

First of all I want to say that I understand the appeal & popularity of Suselle & I'm looking forward to seeing how it develops in canon.

But it's pretty obvious that Noelle has... a specific thing she wants from Susie, if I can put it that way. They don't know each other that well. Noelle's crush has all the intensity & sweatiness that a gay teen crush deserves, and Susie's obliviousness to this is played for laughs (for now). I can see a lot of ways it could develop which would get me more invested but right now it feels one-sided. I do think this is a great storytelling move for Noelle as a character overall! It immediately makes her more complex before we know that much else about her, and it fits with everything we find out after. I have faith it will lead somewhere interesting, even if that isn't necessarily "romantic."

Meanwhile... Kris steps in front of Susie to save her at the end of Ch 1 with no input on our part, Susie returns the favor, and then they're friends.

They're so silly. They're eating moss together. They care about each other in such a straightforward and immediate way. I love how Susie plays off Kris despite us not getting to see a lot of their dialogue, you still get a great sense of their chemistry. Kris has comical underreactions and Susie has comical overreactions but they're somehow matching each other's energy??? The feeling of egging on your best friend to do something stupid... It's truly unparalleled....

Kris lets Susie push and pull them around a lot and doesn't seem to mind. She does "whatever she wants", which is also why Noelle likes her. She's a social outcast, just like Kris. This is the core of their friendship to me. Being a teenager can be so awful, and if your home life is bad and/or you have brain problems it's genuinely like being in hell. And finding another person your age who's weird and unpopular and has their own problems, who won't judge you, who you can just hang out with and crack stupid jokes, who makes you actually want to show up at school... That's real, and that's special.

[bullet-prooflove]

Brave Little Boy: Michael "Robby" Robinavitch x Reader

Tagging: @kmc1989 @flyinglama @yousigned-upforthis @oklahomapeach

Summary: Robby wakes up to the baby kicking and gets a a suprise.

Companion piece to:

Lipstick (NSFW) - It's love at first blow job for Dr Robby.

Crisis - Robby has a bad day.

ASMR For The Soul - Robby doesn't sleep when you're not around.

Bunny - Robby discovers you've been keeping secrets.

Something To Complain About (NSFW) - You ignite the ire of Robby's neighbour with your bedroom noises.

Noise Cancelling - Robby discovers his neighbour keeps a spreadsheet of your antics.

Poolside - When Robby's had a really shitty day he always ends up whereever you are.

The Betting Pool - Robby discovers that his collegues have been taking bets on his relationship.

Fifty Shades of Robby - Robby's collegues see the truth of his relationship when they find your Instagram.

Dumb Bitch - Robby exhibits his protective side when another man steps on his territory.

Stop Compressions, Start Compressions - Robby loses everything in the aftermath of Pittfest.

24 Hours - Robby refuses to leave your side in the aftermath of the shooting.

Saftey Rail - Abbot gets real with Robby when he finds him on the roof.

Baby, It's Gonna Be Alright - Robby wonders if he's fucked things up with you for good.

Exorcism (NSFW) - Robby and you finally find a way to be honest with one another.

Ready - Robby and you discuss starting a family in the aftermath of Pittfest.

The Rose - You give Robby a special gift for your anniversary.

Heartbeat - Robby finds something to help him sleep.

Jinx - Robby discovers a particular superstition of yours.

The Scary One - Robby and you face concerns during your second pregnancy scan.

Pop Tarts - You and Robby decorate the baby's nursery.

Robby wakes up to the baby kicking, sharp little digs that lance into ribs stirring him from sleep. You’re nestled into him, baby bump pressed into his side, your arm thrown over his chest and your face buried into the curve of his throat.

He places his palm on the bump, hoping to sooth his little one but the kicks become more insistent as if he’s trying to connect with his daddy. Robby finds himself smiling despite the fact it’s three am because his son, he’s not letting that hole in his heart get him down, he just keeps getting stronger.

“You are being a very brave little boy.” Robby tells him, his thumb tracing over the space where the baby’s repeatedly jabbing you.

“He’s being a little asshole.” You mumble against Robby’s skin and he chuckles, the sound vibrating through his chest as you shift against him. “I’m gonna get up, see if I can’t walk to him sleep.”

The thing about babies, they’re usually more active at night. Throughout the day, the sensation of mom’s movements usually lulls them to sleep. It’s when you lay down to rest that they take it as an invitation to get the party started.

 “You want me to come with?” He asks propping his head up on the pillow as you manage to get yourself into a sitting position on the edge of the bed. “We can even put on ER so you can watch Carter as you pace in front of the couch.”

You have a thing for his doppleganger, Robby fucking hates it but you are literally carry his baby right now so the least he can do is stay up and watch the man who looks like a younger version of him’s antics.

“No, you’ve  got a shift tomorrow, you try and get some-” You pause and Robby frowns as you look down at the growing stain on your navy blue pyjama bottoms. “Great he danced on my bladder and I just peed myself.”

“No sweetheart, I don’t think you did.” Robby says, throwing back the covers, his heart thundering in his chest. “I think your waters just broke.”

Love Robby? Don’t miss any of his stories by joining the taglist here.

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[moesthoughts]

my aching bones | action shots ( photo 02 )

chapter summary : It’s been a couple months since you’ve started photographing the yellow jackets, ever since Nat spoke to you that one afternoon at your car you’ve been closer than ever. The other girls on the team noticed and started to warm up to you. Finally, after four long games you’ve had to sit through and take pictures of, the fifth and last game would decide if the yellow jackets went to nationals or not.

warnings : description of allie’s injury, drug use, mental health topics, burning yourself

These past months have been long, your days at school have been more than 7 hours, and you’re barely at home anymore. You didn’t expect to take a liking to photographing for the yellowjackets this much, especially after that rocky start. Since that smoke break at your car, Nat and you have grown closer. Classes you share with her are suddenly more bearable, ignoring work and talking instead, and shared laughter. You realize how close your lockers really are, which makes mornings easier to face. She visits you on the sidelines during her breaks, meaning you didn’t need to talk to the coaches that much, and on occasions, the Martinez kids. You recognize how much fun life gets when you actually have someone to talk to everyday, instead of being alone all the time.

Instead of dreading school, your stomach bunches up from anxiety. You’re calm, with a smile plastered on your face. The thought of being able to speak with Nat clouds your head. You clutch the steering wheel with anticipation, not being able to wait to see her gorgeous face. You find yourself driving her home or to your house. You’ve made custom CDs, had sleepovers when she didn’t want to be at her house, smoked, painted each other's nails, and you can’t remember a day when your nails aren’t scuffed with black nail polish. Your parents are happy too, their daughter is finally making friends. It’s not just Nat you’ve been growing a liking for, it’s the Yellowjackets as a whole. You and Taissa have the same political opinions, you finally have someone who can help you in Calc. Van will talk with you about all of your niche interests you happen to share, and conversations will go on for hours. Jackie gives excellent advice on whatever problem you have, even if you struggle with opening up to her. Shauna is great to be around when you want quiet, but she also has amazing music taste. Lottie loves art as much as you do; she even asks about how you got into photography. The list goes on and on, you’re surprised that so many people have started talking to you, even with your lack of social skills.

No matter how much time this gig took out of your daily life, you’re finally happy. You get to do something you enjoy, and you’re surrounded by great people. You’re glad you didn’t punk out on your first day, no matter how badly it went. You like that you smile more instead of constantly frowning, you like how you feel warm inside and not cold, and you like how you have company everyday instead of having to keep yourself entertained.

You’re currently preparing for the game the girls had at 4, the one that determined if they’d go to nationals this year. You know how important this meant to everyone, so you’re making sure your lens is as clean as it can be, checking if you have film for days, and writing a small card for the team to give them if they win. Nat is on your bed, sorting through the photos you’ve taken so far at their other games. Her lips curl into a smile, noticing how much you’ve taken of her. Her fingers smooth over the laminated pictures; she’s never felt so truly appreciated until this very moment. Her eyes trail the back of you, fidgeting with your camera. She puts the photos back into your box you keep beside your bed, and sits up when you finally turn around, a soft smile adorning your features. You bite your lip as your eyes land on the photo box beside Nat, a tint of red coming to your cheeks.

“So.. can I use any of these for my senior photos?”

She snorts as you hurriedly take the box and shove it back into your nightstand. At least the pictures aren’t only of her and the other girls. You lean against your dresser with a sigh, crossing your arms. You think about how you can avoid this conversation, your face lights up once you see your makeup beside you. Running away from your problems, a perfect solution to whatever is going on. You quickly pick up the box full of products and your curling iron before retreating to the bathroom, you hear Nat trailing not to far behind you, trying to keep up.

“Woah, since when are you interested in getting all pretty?”

You flip her off as you plug in your curling iron, setting it aside so it can heat up. She’s right, you haven’t used any of your makeup since sophomore homecoming, why not bust out the old look for this important event? You pick through your makeup and started working on your face, you aren’t the best with it, but you’re going for a simple look. A smokey eye, a dark pink lip, with some mascara. Nothing else was needed.

“Since now? It’s such an important day, I don’t want people staring at an ugly photographer.”

Nat scoffs and moves closer to you, leaning on the wall next to the sink. You feel nervous under her gaze, like she’s picking everything out from the deepest pits of your soul. You will never admit you absolutely love this feeling, She watches how sharp you make your wings, the neutrals you use for your eyeshadow, and she especially pays attention to the lipstick you apply to your lips. She averts her attention and rests her head on the wall.

“You’re so far from ugly, dude.”

Nat speaks over the silence once you finish your makeup look, you give her a shy smile. It was a good feeling, how such a pretty girl thinks you look good. You look at yourself hard in the mirror, maybe you aren’t as bad looking as you think, you comb your fingers through your hair, and pick up the curling iron radiating heat. You wrap your hair around the tool, your eyes still glued to your face in the mirror. You’re so distracted that you don’t notice you press the hot iron right into the side of your neck, you yell out a swear before dropping the curling iron into the sink, and your hand goes towards the burn on the side of your neck. The girl next to you acts instantly, quickly unplugging the tool from the wall, then crouching at your side. She pulls your arm away from the wound, sucking a breath through her teeth once she gets a good look at it.

“Fuck, it looks like someone gave you a fat hickey.”

Nat manages to get up, lifting you to look at it in the mirror. Your eyes widen once you land on the new mark; it does look like someone gave you a hickey. You glance at Nat, anxiety filling your veins as you see her nervous look. She’s messing with her rings, thinking about ways to cover your burn mark. You don’t have foundation, and it’s too warm to wear scarves. Her mind flickers to her black leather jacket, she wasn’t gonna need it today because she was on the field anyway.

“Do you have any ideas…”

“Yeah, get to your car, i’ll be there in a second.”

Your shoes dig into the turf underneath you, you have a striped t shirt on, ripped jeans and did you forget to mention Nat’s black leather jacket? The mark on your neck isn’t even a hickey, you aren’t sure why you are covering it up like it was. Though, here you are, anxiously lifting up the collar of her jacket to hide something you shouldn’t be ashamed of. You try distracting yourself by watching the different teams stretch, their coaches making them huddle up for inspiration for the game. You softly smile as you watch them listen, you slowly lift up your camera and take a picture, just like you did their first practice.

“Isn’t this nerve wracking?”

Your head turns towards Misty Quigley as she speaks up, breaking the silence between you both. You tend not to talk with her, since conversations between you both always turn out weird. People aren’t wrong when they talk about how odd of a girl she is, you truly don’t mind her. She’s like everyone else, trying to get by, just in her own little way. You respond with a shrug, your attention going towards your bleach blonde friend. It is nerve wracking, and you aren’t even on the team. You’re not worried about getting good shots, you already got that in the bag, but you hope they win. The Yellowjackets truly deserve it, such a talented team full of nice girls.

“Yeah, nerve wracking.”

You tune out her rambling that was soon cut off with a whistle, you watch the two groups huddle closer together and start their chants, Misty happily chips in, practically screaming “buzz” at the top of her lungs. You cheer and clap your hands once the game starts, quickly getting to work on your action shots. Your bones ached with anticipation. Not once have you cared about a sport this much, nonetheless soccer. You thought it was boring, every time your dad put on the game you left the living room out of pure boredom. Though here you are, excited to photograph and watch the score board change. You wonder what you’d be doing currently if you hadn’t signed that contract, probably rotting in your room, trying to decipher chemistry problems.

Your palms grew sweaty as the game got more intense, you shuffle between your feet as you watch the other team play more aggressive. Taissa seems to notice straight away and match their energy, messing up their plan. Your camera follows the ball being passed between the yellowjackets before Shauna catches it with her feet, kicking it up in the air towards Jackie. The blonde reacts fast, trying to position herself to kick it towards the goal. You gasp as it hits her head, but bounces towards the goal, scoring the final point. Your heart rate speeds up with excitement, but you only have time to take multiple pictures of them celebrating, running to hug each other, yelling about how they’re gonna make it to nationals.

“GET OVER HERE!”

You hear Van calling your name, jumping up and down and waving you over. You bolt, running into her arms. You feel like crying as you travel to each of the girls, embracing them with a tight hug. You end with Nat, her fingers running through your hair, yelling buzz into your ear as she jumps around with her teammates. You have never felt more proud in your life.

“Are you saying we should freeze her out?”

Nat’s tone is as sharp like thorns, her eyebrows knitting together with anger. You finally listen to the conversation happening around you after tuning everyone out to look at the photos you took yesterday, the air around the group is tense. Lottie seems nervous, her hand is massaging the back of her neck and she’s biting down on her lip. Shauna seems more confused than you, and Taissa is glaring at Nat, seeming so sure of what she’s talking about. You look at the bleach blonde next to you, trying to dive into her thoughts. She was obviously angry, her fist grips her bag on the ground, and her lips are folded into a frown.

“Well, do you have a better idea?”

Taissa has a sly way of speaking, making even you furrow your eyebrows at her in question. You’re not sure what “freezing out” meant, but if Nat was freaking out about it, it’s obviously something bad. Shauna gives you a look, you both are stuck in the same situation, spectating an argument about to unfold between the team’s most fiery members. You take a deep breath and direct your attention back to the situation at hand, not knowing if you should butt in or not.

“I don’t know, play like a fucking team?”

Nat spits out her words, her eyes filled with rage. She glances around the group, hoping that someone—anyone—wl speak up. But no one does, not even you. She didn’t expect you to say anything anyway; you had no idea what they were discussing. With a scoff, she turns around and storms off angrily toward the locker room. You watch her go, and she vanishes from your sight shortly after. Your gaze then lands on Taissa, who is staring directly at the burn mark on your neck. Quickly, you cover it with your hand and begin picking up your bag as well.

“Is that?—“

“Nope! I’ll see you guys at practice!”

You interrupt, before running in the direction Nat went, trying to catch up with her. You curse under your breath, why is a burn mark on your neck such a burden?

After listening to Nat rant for half an hour before practice, you’re stranded on the sidelines yet again watching the girls train for nationals. You note the clear energy chance, Taissa obviously has something up her sleeve, and the others that were listening earlier are all on edge, you bite your lip and watch in anticipation, your camera ready in your hands. Once the mock game starts, it’s aggressive. Girls almost tripping over themselves, you can see a future filled with green grass stains. Taissa is already freezing out that poor girl Allie, ignoring her when she was obviously open to pass to. You put your camera down as Coach Scott blows his whistle, Taissa pulls off her green marker and goes over to the older man, asking to switch teams.

Lottie stares at her anxiously as she pulls the red marker over her head, jogging over to the other side of the field. you decide to keep your camera by your side for this, you have an overwhelming feeling that something is going to go wrong, but you can’t place your finger on what. The game commences again, Taissa is hostile with her tactics, running towards Allie who currently is dribbling the ball between her feet. Suddenly, she runs into her, causing her to trip over the ball. You gasp as Allie screams in pain, holding her leg and rolling over onto her back. Misty and you quickly run over to see what the damage is, you almost throw up once your eyes land on her wound. Her bone tore through her skin, and blood is dribbling down her leg. Your hand covers your mouth as you stand up, slowly backing away from the scene.

“Okay, calm down. Just apply pressure—“

Allie shrieks in pain, causing Misty to scramble away from the younger girl as the coach yells at her. You nearly trip over yourself, the disturbing sight in front of you clouding your mind. Nat turns her gaze from Allie and meets your eyes, slowly moving towards the direction of the locker room. She pats Allie on the shoulder before jogging over to you, throwing her arm over your shoulders. Noticing how nauseous you are, she suddenly starts dragging you toward the school.

“Allie will be okay, let’s get you to the bathroom.”

She reassures you, slight relief floods your veins. You can’t help but feel horrible, you know something was going to happen. If only you were smart enough to stop it.

synopsis ʚɞ your parents want you out of the house more, do something other than rot in your room while doing homework. You decide to use your photography talent for the school paper, taking pictures of the yellow jackets girl’s soccer team. Throughout your photoshoots of their various games, one girl piques your interest the most. Natalie Scatorccio.

a/n : ending is SOO RUSHED IM SORRY it’s currently 11 pm and I wanted this out by monday (by the time you’ll be reading this) I HOPE YOU’RE ENJOYING THE SLOW BURN UGHHH

a/n : tag list is STILL OPEN!! lmk if you want on! don’t be scared to ask!

tag list — @mlovesunicorns @t-wylia @bisexual-stalin @theoreticalfreak @flurpe @girlie955 @firefl1ghts @lilliesandrosiess @princessleprechaunnn @wtfisthisnoclueman @joaniscruzing @sleepyjackets @stupendousbananasharkcop

[georgeclarkeys]

tiktok trend series - george clarkey x reader

summary: you make george's friends be mean to you for a tiktok trend - 800 words

hi friends!! this is the first installment in my new tiktok trend series about your fav uk youtubers and your fav tiktok trends!! please please please send me any ideas you might have for this, especially a trend or a person you would like to see featured!!

~

Scrolling through TikTok was beginning to find a permanent spot in your nighttime routine. It had been several years since your account blew up, so you convinced yourself that you were doing research for new video ideas every time you spent an hour or so watching before bed. One recent trend was definitely piquing your interest, and with the help of your boyfriend's friends, you were confident that you could pull it off. Creators were staging a “who’s most likely to” game with someone close to their significant other, and asking the other person to be mean to them in order to catch their partner's reaction. You had the perfect idea, and were planning on getting a great reaction out of George.

~

It was an unusual evening at Casa Clarke-Dixon-Hill. All three roommates were home, and no one was streaming or working, so you managed to round them up and convince them to film a TikTok with you. You had talked to Arthur and Chris beforehand, letting them in on the prank and giving them permission to be as mean as they could, but George was clueless. 

You placed your phone on the tripod and sat in a row, with Chris and Arthur on either side of you, and George standing behind looking curious. 

Pressing record, you smiled, “Hey friends! Today I am joined by George, Arthur, and Chris, and we’re going to be playing a game of “who’s most likely to” where all of the answers are decided by George!” 

All three of the boys let out a small cheer.

“Alright, George, who has the best voice?”

“Oh wow, starting off with a difficult one are we?” he laughed, “Obviously my singer friend Arthur.” 

Arthur pumped his fist and cheered, “Yes! I’m just glad you didn’t say (Y/N), she sounds about like nails on a chalkboard.”

You saw George make a bit of a face in the camera before saying, “(Y/N) has a lovely voice.”

Ignoring the comment from Arthur, you continued, “Okay next, who is the smartest?”

George’s eyes bounced between the three of you in deep thought before calling out, “(Y/N).”

You turned around to smile at him, while Arthur and Chris shook their heads. George was suspiciously eyeing both of them as they looked at each other. Chris leaned past you to say to Arthur, “there is absolutely no way he actually thinks she’s smarter than either of us, right? She’s a TikToker for crying out loud.”

Arthur laughed and answered, “I thought he was joking to be honest.”

Your boyfriend was not laughing, he eyed the camera warily before putting on an exaggerated confused face in an attempt to ease the tension, “is this a who’s most likely to quiz, or an everyone bully George’s beautiful girlfriend quiz?”

You laughed awkwardly, doing your best to play into the uncomfortable atmosphere that was rapidly growing. 

“Anyways, who’s the meanest?”

George does not even hesitate before answering, “Chris.”

Chris’s head turns around, eyes wide with shock, “you’re actually joking.”

“I would have said (Y/N),” Arthur mumbled, loud enough to hear.

“I would have said (Y/N) too!” Chris exclaimed, “she’s so unnecessarily rude all the time!”

You sat back with wide eyes and listened to the chaos unfold, watching George’s face grow red as his flatmates continued ripping into you.

“What the hell is going on!” he snapped, looking back and forth between his two friends, “Why are both of you being such dickheads to (Y/N)? Don’t talk about her like that.” He grabbed your hand to pull you up from your seat, “C’mon babe, delete that video. Let’s go film something else for you to post.”

Before he could grab your phone you decided it was time to give yourself up, “it’s a joke! It’s a trend!” 

He turned back to look at you, “what?”

“I put them up to it. I told them to be mean to me.”

“Well that’s a fucking relief,” he laughed and put a hand over his heart, “I thought I was going to have to move out, oh my days.” 

~

By the end of the day the video had over a million views, and a comment section filled with women thirsting over your boyfriend.

comments

user1: okay but why is george so sexy when he’s mad…

georgeclarkeey: This is something I would expect from Chris, but Arthur threw me off

user2: yes george defend your gf 😫

arthurhill69: i am so sorry queen (y/n) i love you

user3: (y/n) where did you find this man he’s perfect

user4: where’s the green flag guy

[juanarc-thethird]

Identity theft #1

Cinder: Okay, here's the plan: Neo will impersonate Pyrrha and enter her room to sabotage her weapons, so no one will know.

Emerald: Ok, but what would happen if her teammates show up?

Cinder: I wouldn’t worry about that. Nora and Ren are spending all day searching for the golden pancake, thanks to my amazing ingenuity.

Neo: "And what about the idiot?🤨?

Emerald: Yeah, what about Jaune? Is he busy too?

Cinder: Do you think that Dunce would question Pyrrha? Knowing him, he'd leave her alone while she "works on her weapons."

Neo: "But what if it does?🤔"

Cinder: So you deal with it, but under no circumstances should you throw away your cover, understood?!

Neo: "Yeah sure🙄"

Cinder: Good, now get to work.

Later that day.

"Pyrrha" enters Team JNPR's room, and begins searching through the closets for the real Pyrrha's weapons.

Pyrrha(Neo): (Which one is her closet?😒 I've only found bottles of maple syrup, tea herbs, and comic books. Don't tell me she doesn't have her…👀 Jackpot😎)

In the last closet, she finds Pyrrha's weapons, right at the bottom. She bends down to grab them but is surprised by a somewhat unusual touch.

Pyrrha(Neo): (Is someone touching my ass?!😡)

Jaune: Hello my love, did you hear that Nora and Ren won't be here all day?💕

Pyrrha(Neo): (Wait? They're a couple?! Wow... but I need to leave now. I'll just step aside and leave before anything else happe-AaaH~💕)

Neo feels Jaune's fingers slide inside her. His movements are slow and very stimulating.

Pyrrha(Neo): (God~, this is it, I need to get out of here before…😳!!!)

Suddenly she feels something hot and big between her ass cheeks. She looks back and sees a tremendous, well-endowed piece of meat looking at her directly.

Pyrrha(Neo): (Holy shit! Is fucking huge!😨)

Jaune: Sorry, I know you prefer it in bed, but you've made me so mad for you that I can't control myself. Is it okay if I put it inside you?

Neo can't stop looking at his member after he asked her that, and a silly idea popped into his head.

Pyrrha(Neo): (Well, Cinder did said to do whatever it takes to not blow our cover😏)

She looks at him and gives him a nod.

Meanwhile...

Cinder: Why is Neo taking so long?

Emerald: Maybe she stumbled upon something that can't get out yet?

Cinder: Maybe. Whatever it is, I hope it's a matter of life or death. Because if it isn't, she's going to get it.

Back to Neo...

Still wearing the "Pyrrha" disguise, Jaune has her on all fours, hitting her from behind with his tremendous meat stick, and choking her by the neck gently but firmly.

PLAT!PLAT!PLAT!PLAT!PLAT!PLAT!PLAT!PLAT!

Pyrrha(Neo): "💕😮‍💨💕🤤💕‼️"

Jaune: Oh god💕! You're tighter than usual! I think I'm gonna cum!

Pyrrha(Neo): (YEs!💕 Cum inside me!💕 I want to feel your delicious warm milk inside me!💕)

Jaune: Oh Fuck💕! Im close!

Pyrrha(Neo): (Do it! Make me yours!💕💕)

Jaune: Oh Pyrrha!!💕

At that moment she can't feel her insides filling with cum, so much that some of it comes out.

Pyrrha(Neo): ( FUuUCk YEeeEes!💕💕)

They both take a breath. Then Jaune pulls his cock out of her, and it all spurts out like a champagne bottle. Staining the floor with his creamy milk.

Jaune: Oh god, I didn't think I'd cum that much. Well, how about a shower and then we go work out a bit?

Pyrrha(Neo): *Nods back*

Jaune: Excellent, I'll wait for you inside.

He says and gets up to go straight to the bathroom. Neo looks at Pyrrha's weapons and thinks for a moment.

Pyrrha(Neo): (I guess this is my only chance to finish the job🫤)

She then hears the sound of the shower running.

Jaune: Pyrrha, come on. I need you to clean me very thoroughly~💕

Pyrrha(Neo): (Well, I can't say I didn't try☺️)

She gets up and heads towards the shower.

But in the midst of all this, she never realized that a person was watching them from the shadows, one very happy to see such an event.

??????: *Giggles* Interesting

To be continued…

[adrianastrix]

I would like to add that you can know an artist by their work, but not surface-level things like "is attracted to x" or "likes y" or "thinks acting like it is fine" just because one or two characters happen to share those traits. Things that come from the author usually become patterns throughout their whole fiction, and the pattern might seem "likes x, dislikes y", but if you read an author's biography, it might immediately become "oh, it's the author's abusive parent here" or "oh, it's the author's pleasant memories about their childhood or college", or "hey author's spiritual beliefs/existential conflicts, haven't seen you in a whole 20 seconds, would you believe it!".

I can say with confidence that any character I spend long enough developing end up with traits from me (and not just traits I like in me), but it's not a conscious, planned process, so it's hard to gauge the "me/not me" ratio in any of them without a lot of introspection. Even for me, the one who created them and supposedly know myself better than anyone.

In Ryoko's case (though it might be a hell of a projection), I felt a kindred soul in the "scientific fascination" club. Science and scientific interest is always regarded as something cold and calculated, that disregards basic empathy and decency, but it's the same as saying that love is cold and calculating because you only see TV psychopaths exhibiting it. The main difference between scientific interest and love is that, when you love something, you are attracted to it and want it closer to you. With scientific interest, you don't need to love the thing. You might even start by hating it. But you need to understand it, and, if you are honest in your scientific ethics, you will want to present your object of study was accurately as possible and will force yourself to not disregard its virtues because of your bias. Because bias weaken arguments and open yourself to attack by rival scientists.

And that, I think, is one of the reasons Delicious in Dungeon can be so appealing to people even if Ryoko herself don't care much for most foods or by certain body types. She was presenting her world as a scientist sees nature: fascinating by what it is, by it's variety and mystery. It's not disgusting or scary because you don't like or understand it, that's exactly what intrigues you.

I'm pretty sure that, despite her neighbour being off-putting to her with his habit of taking out the trash semi-naked, in the face of something she doesn't like or understand, the scientist in her didn't went "ew, he must be dangerous or disgusting", but "why would someone (that I have other evidence towards being 'normal') act in that way I don't like or understand?". And that's why Senshi isn't a walking gag screaming "BEING SEMI-NAKED IS FUNNY BECAUSE IT'S DISGUSTING AND NO ONE NORMAL WOULD DO THAT", but a person that might be a bit eccentric, but is otherwise normal and functional. Like her neighbour. And, like her neighbour, some people also find him funny and a bit off-putting and some people are thirsty for him.

Saw this on Twitter and I obligatory need to share it

[hongarrae]

Ninjago x haikyuu for ME because i LOVE haikyuu and ninjago. Also i liked drawing the girls team more . Like wow they look so good in red uhhhhhhhhgggg these too way too long for my carpal tunnel riddled wrist. I put alot of thought into this silly au iirc. Im gonna copy and paste the postitions and numbers from my notes.

Lloyd 1 captain setter

Zane 2 mb

Jay 3 op

Kai 4 libero

Cole 5 ace oh

Geo 6 oh

Arin 10 mb

Nya 1 captain op

Pixel 2 mb

Skylor 3 oh

Wyldefyre 4 ace

Harumi 7 setter

Jordana 9 mb

Sora 10 libero

AUGH I HAD TO GIVE SCIPIE MATCHING NUMBERS!!' And i had to girl wolfcat the kagehina numbers. My rivals 5ever. Lloyd and harumi setters are SOOO special too me cause ik harumi is a horrible team player (in a sense that she hates her team but stays cuz theyre still good) but wint adjust to them so theyre forced to put in more effort than they usually do and lloyd in a sense that he makes sure his hitters are comfortable with his sets and theyre easy to hit... ofc lloyd would want to pull out the best in his team and he does only when harumi clock him LOLLLL . God their dynamic is so interesting. This is supposed to be a normal modern au with no powers but. I has to keep geo purple like . I love him and his purple🥀🥀🥀 i also drew arin and lloyd doing the same pose on opposite sides cuz bro arin looks up to lloyd sooo effing much and harumi and lloyd on opposite ends cuz... theyre on the other side of da freaking setter playstyle spectrum. I thought making kai have the ace number but have him be a libero wuld be sooo funny andi just realized i gave cole the wrong number. Btw lloyd is still younger (i consider him the same age as harumi in this au...) but he just. Got into school. A year early yayayaya i have soo mych more to say but ill shut up. Man.

[fyuyushia]

Capture Target: You!

Jinwoo has now obtained weekly tasks. Today follows Jinwoo completing one of said tasks. Namely: Making a cinematic film about his shadows(specifically bears) to send to you.

Link to Masterlist

It started out simple.

After you initiated the first conversation, it just somehow went on and on. Despite already sharing everything(well, not everything-but it was a lot.) and more, somehow someway you still had so much more to talk about.

He didn't complain.

On the contrary, one could even say he enjoyed it. Past feelings aside, you were always a delightful company. You knew just the words to make anyone laugh, and you were easy to talk to.

So when Jinwoo found himself indulging in conversations unwarranted(shocker. The system didn't convince him.) through text messages and occasional memes sent by you, he didn't even bother to stop. You can't blame him.

(Even so, he tries to reason himself.)

Putting aside the fact that you were his first love. Putting aside the fact that you're a capture target. Putting aside the fact that he feels the urge to talk to you more even outside of the system's wing.

You were a good friend. The ideal one, even. (What ideal was he basing on? He doesn't know, but he assumes it's someone like you who gets him chuckling unceremoniously)

You couldn't(and so no one should) blame him for having fun talking to you. You understood him-somewhat-even if he's changed into the convoluted man he is today with a chamber of secrets too much for one man to hold.

You gave him a sense of normalcy. Like he was back to the times where he didn't have to worry much about anything but if here wrote the right answer in his assignment. You were normal.

He wasn't-but he wanted to be.

You were normal. You gave him the feeling he was normal. You were far from the hunter business, you were a chance to be just a normal guy with a slightly weird wingman.(if he could even call the system that) He appreciates that, and so he lingers.

He doesn't admit that too easily, though. And his reasons for approach are also not as simple as just that-but it made him all the more motivated to pursue this quest-this relationship.

Perhaps a bit too much. Without even realizing it, he's incorporated you in his day to day life. He's chatting you regularly-awfully often for a man who's supposed to be busy clearing dungeons left and right.

He checks your messages more often than he should. Often it's you who starts it, and often it's him waiting for you to start it. Reading through past threads for no particular reason other than interest.

You appeared and delivered. He appreciates that.

Jinwoo hums mindlessly, watching with the nonchalance everyone recognized to be his. He didn't even have to do much, his shadow soldiers were doing all the work for him. From slaying monsters to gathering them, mining ores to dissecting and collecting the parts that could still be used and sold.

Jinwoo had absolutely nothing to do. In other words, he was bored.

Now, normally, he would've relieved himself of this boredom by fighting as well. It was a logical option, and it helped prevent him from letting his skills rust and disappear. But today-surprisingly-he had other plans. Plans that didn't involve helping out in this entire charade.

No, instead, he whips out his phone. Opens it, and then scrolls through his contacts, he stops when he finds your name and presses it. Backreading on a few conversations he particularly enjoyed-enough to bother reading it again.

He's easy. Too easy. He doesn't even realize his own antics have made the people around him suspicious. He doesn't even notice he may have gotten too friendly with you that it makes him look like he's grown two heads.

He looks around, searching for inspiration regarding what he should do in the meantime. It would take quite a while before his shadow soldiers would finish up scourging this dungeon for all it's worth, might as well find something to do to clear time.

There's Beru grilling the soldiers for being too slow and demanding they go faster, there's Iron eagerly smashing the crystals with glee, there's Igris busying himself with taking out the cores of the now dead beasts, delicately scanning their insides, as if he was doing something domestic like sewing.

It was unsettling.

He looks away from the scene, searching for something more friendly. Eventually, his gaze lands on Tank.

The bear, busily taking care of his fellow kin eventually noticed the weight of his master's eyes on him. He turns around, finds Jinwoo staring, and gives him a small wave with his paw.

Jinwoo flinches slightly, not quite expecting that but gives the bear a small nod. Tank lets out a happy huff and reverts his attention to his fellow shadows.

Jinwoo follows Tank's gaze, mildly curious and finds two of the bears under his rule play fighting.

He watches with the faintest hint of amusement glinting within. A smile, and then a flash of recognition-akin to the way one would light up after remembering or getting a bright idea.

Right, come to think of it, he did have that quest-didn't he?

This seemed like a good material for that. You did mention you liked bears once. Well, specifically pandas-but they're a bear in general. They looked adorable he daresays. Enough to curry your favor. And you also mentioned being curious about his shadows-something you saw on tv once-and another time during the reunion party when he ran away all of a sudden.

A shadow soldier took his place then, and it just so happened to be a bear. Right, come to think of it you did mention they were cute back then-you might just really enjoy this picture.

He scrolls up for who knows how long, double checking to make sure if you really said it, and, sure enough, you did.

You:

By the way did you know when you suddenly left using whatever magic you had during the reunion party a bear took your place?

They were really cute.

They looked so confused

They were also colored darkly and had a weird texture

But they were cute

Hehe it left but not before letting me pet them

It was weird

I think it was a fever dream

Jinwoo:

Bear?

Did they glow blue?

You:

Well they were mostly dark but yes they did have this blue outline to them

It was weird

I thought it would kill me at first

But they're actually really nice

They seemed just as scared when they suddenly showed up

Do you think monsters can be nice too?

Jinwoo:

Oh

That might be my shadow

You:

You're a bear?

Jinwoo:

Huh

You:

Huh

Jinwoo:

I meant they're one of my summons

You:

Summon?

Jinwoo:

My ability.

As a hunter

You:

Oh. What?

But they seemed so

Idk

Aware!

Like they had their own sentience

Jinwoo:

They are sentient

You:

Oh

Oh what

Now I'm confused

Is this like

Pokemon

Digimon???

Jinwoo:

That's close enough

You like them?

You:

Oh

Woah wait

Hold on

That's rad

Are they aggressive...

Jinwoo:

They're tame unless provoked otherwise

You:

Oh

So

Can I

Hypothetically speaking

Pet them?

Jinwoo:

Sure-maybe.

You:

Hurraaah

Please let me I want toooo

He nods in approval. Sure enough, you did mention liking the bears of his shadow army. He looks at the pair of bears, this time they seemed to be sumo wrestling-except they kept violating rules one after another so it won't even be allowed to qualify as one either.

They were just duking it out.

But they're bears. They're cute. It's fine.

He looks at the shadows. Violent-but not enough to constantly bring tremor to the cave-like dungeon. Only sometimes. Pointing his phone at them, he takes a quick video-as per your request, as per his quest. He faintly remembers you asking him if he could send you a video of them being in their natural state. He delivers, of course he delivers-you're a friend.

And...

He looks in front of him. Specifically: the system window in front of him.

[Lvl 2. Friends (40% to reach the next stage)

♡ = 26%

Feeling: (Locked.)]

[You've reached 25%!

Romance Quest Interface Unlocked!]

[Quest: First love to maybe something more

Progress Path: Capture Target - (Name)

Current Stage: Level 2 - Friends (40% to reach the next stage)

♡ Affection Level: 26%

Feeling: [Locked]

Weekly Task:

1. Send {Capture Target} a photo/video of your shadow soldiers in "natural habitat"

Tip:  Make it cute! {Capture Target} enjoys cute bear related videos!

Status: Incomplete

Reward: +2 AP | +1000 XP | +1000 gold

2. Reply to {Capture Target}'s last message within 10 minutes

Tip: Showing they matter is always great!

Status: Incomplete

Reward: +0.5 AP | +100 XP

3. Pet shadow bear in front of {Capture Target}

Optional: Let {Capture Target} pet shadow bear

Tip: Showing them your delicate side will always result in a win!

Status: Locked | requires in-person interaction

Reward: +3 Affection Points | Unlock hidden dialogue branch.]

He wanted to move up his affinity too.

This system window was fairly new, only obtaining it once he reached 26%AP. He didn't even realize he was raising affection back then, all he knew was that you were an enjoyable person so he texted you frequently to the point he made it a habit. One could only imagine his surprise when the hologram suddenly showed up wearing a different skin and theme.

It was more cutesy than the usual one. Its sharp edges softened into curved ones, colored the color of love and decorated with all things lovely (flowers)

Jinwoo didn't understand why he had a customized window dedicated for romancing, but he decided to just roll with it—after all, did he have a choice?(He does—he can choose to back out of this quest. There's an option specifically for that. But he pretends it doesn't exist.)

Jinwoo had only obtained this new system fairly recently. He did get the chance to explore it yet, but its purpose seemed to work similarly with his normal system so he didn't have much trouble when it comes to understanding the its function. The only question he had was: why. But it's not like it could be answered by anyone so he's left to stir in his own curiosity.

Resigning to his fate, he looks at the weekly tasks and sees that the hint he gathered became officially embedded and out in the tip section of his task. With the system practically begging him to do this one act—he finally gave in to his whims.

He whips out his phone and opens his camera. Might as well get the job done quick while he had the chance, lest he risk getting the penalty for failing to do the weekly task.

Setting the camera, he points it towards Tank—who gave him what seemed like a thumbs up before moving it to the other shadows still trying to make the other topple in order to proclaim victory.

As Jinwoo films the video with the precision of a man who has spent more time fighting monsters than actually mastering modern technology. He zooms in on the bears, attempting to capture their chaotic wrestling.

His hands are steady, he's used to keeping his hand still and calm under worse situations, but the camera work, as he feared, leaves much to be desired.

The video shakes ever so slightly, and then suddenly a bear's paw unexpectedly smacks the screen as one of them rolls too close. He dodges with a sidestep, and the angle shifts in a way that only manages to show a blurry, overly dramatic shot of a bear's massive form in the background. Jinwoo blinks, trying to stabilize the phone.

Jinwoo finally ends the clip with a decisive press. He looks at the playback, and what he sees is nothing short of disappointing-it's messy and clearly not expertly choreographed. He deletes it immediately, there's no way he'd let you or anyone else see it for that matter.

He brings a hand up, carding his fingers through his hair. Breathing out a sigh, Jinwoo feels the smallest tinge of shame because of his own actions.

What is he even doing?

He pauses. Why is he putting so much effort into this again? It’s not like he needs to. But then again, you liked bears. And bears were easy. And you were a good friend—so he should return the favor you gave him(being a good company) and pay you back.

[Tip: Half hearted attempts to win {Capture Target}'s heart will result in AP being halved. Worse: reduced!]

Well now he's obligated to put some thought into it.

What the hell is with this plot convenient system forcing him to take action? (He clings to a chance to justify his own actions.)

He forms a glare(it's half hearted at best) as he stares at the pop up window with the kind that could make grown men quake in their boots.

With a half formed scowl and his phone in hand, he resumes his prior antics in the name of currying your favor.

Meanwhile, in the background, Jinho, having just finished strolling around the dungeon, finds Jinwoo doing(what he perceives)the unthinkable: take a video.

Jinho's mouth falls agape, question marks immediately occupying his thoughts as he watches his nonchalant, cool, unbothered, effortlessly intimidating with an air of mystery that makes him irresistible to the rest(especially for those looking for someone to fix) take a video.

Tank is growling, pointing to his bears and choreographing the shadow's movements like a director of a movie film.

With one big gulp of the nerves that bundled up in his throat, he forces it down and finally asks about the elephant in the room.

"Hyung?"

Jinwoo hums. "What?"

"What are you doing?"

Jinho narrows his eyes, suspicious and mildly concerned. He didn't recognize Jinwoo to be an avid photo taker(he's not-he has less than 30 images on his camera roll)so seeing him suddenly seem interested in capturing candid moments seemed odd.

"Taking a video." A video because a simple picture wouldn't be enough-they were doing something much more complicated to attempt for him to even capture in just a single photo.

"Why?"

"For a friend."

"Who?"

He looks at Jinho, contemplates what answer to give, and promptly settles with:

"You wouldn't know even if I told you." He says, as if keeping you a secret.

Now to Jinho-this immediately raised flags. Not because he hid your identity-he already knew his Hyung was a private man who kept his life to himself-but because he was filming a video(even if said video was amateur at best) to send to someone.

Of course, for someone with an overactive imagination like Jinho, this sudden act had him thinking. Really thinking. This whole situation is reeking with love—and love was a rare find on Jinwoo. At least, he thinks it is.

Wait, not really. He recalls the previous times he's caught his Hyung with girls. There was that one E-rank hunter girl—okay, no, maybe him having someone isn't so rare, but still, this is still something.

Jinho's jaws are wide agape, paired with his equally wide eyes, and then followed along surprised and very loudly gasping as his thoughts ran with a hundred dozen ideas which all boiled down to one thought:

Does Jinwoo have a lover?!

"Hyung, You've filming bears. For thirty minutes. Like this is some National Geographic special—! And for what? For who?”

"I told you, for a friend."

Jinho scoffs. "What kind of friend asks for a video of shadow bears going at each other's throats?!"

"The kind that likes bears."

Jinho runs a hand through his hair, distressed and in disbelief. "Hyung, be honest! Is this really just a friend?" He pauses. "Or are they the" wink wink "kind of friend?" Wink wink

Jinwoo grimaces, almost disgusted by the wink. "What do you mean? They're just a friend. A normal one."

Then Jinwoo pauses. Jinho holds his breath.

"But you're right. They're a normal person, I doubt they'd appreciate this much violence—even in bears."

He stops his video taking. One glance from Jinwoo to Tank was enough for Tank to get the memo. As the bear stands up and waddles over to the other bears, they communicate what his master's needs and immediately nods and gets to work.

"That's not the problem!" Jinho exclaims, but he gets ignored.

Jinho, meanwhile, swallows thickly. Shifting his gaze to Jinwoo, his expression is one of terror as he watches him video again. Only this time, he was walking around, acting like a professional videographer and passively encouraging the bears to keep going with that blank expression—with that certain face he makes sometimes whenever he does something incredibly mundane or normal. That blank faced enthusiasm that makes anyone automatically think he's innocent.

Jinho watches with a mix of horror and amusement—he doesn't even realize he's been staring for a while until Jinwoo finally presses stop and turn his attention to where he stood.

"What's wrong? Why're you spacing out?" He asks, as if he hasn't just spent almost half an hour recording the bears in their "natural habitat"(they were not. Their natural habitat included duking things out and fighting—not rolling around and playing cute as if they weren't twice a human's width and height, as if their claws and teeth weren't just at a monster's throat and making them bleed. Their natural habitat does NOT include them purring like overgrown cats—but it does include roaring loudly to the point of deafening to scare off enemies.)

"No. Nothing." Came Jinho's reply, eyes dead as he processes everything.

Jinwoo gives him one final look before shrugging and brushing him off. Placing his attention on his phone. He scans through his contacts, searching for your name (It doesn't take him long, he only ever saved a few people on his phone.) 

Tapping your account, his fingers nimbly send the 30 minute video consisting only of the bears containing their instinctive urges and being tame, and Beru attempting to sneak in only to be urged out of the video because he looked far too intimidating.

Jinwoo:

Sending 1 attached file...

Faile to send.

He frowns. Why can't he send it? He tries again, and then the second attempt becomes three, and three becomes four and all of them results in a failed sent.

He stares at his like it's the problem. Very accusingly—and he doesn't even realize it. His brows twitch, and his lips curl into a frown.

He tries again. Presses send with the aggression of a man annoyed and waits.

It fails.

"Hyung."

Jinwoo turns. "What?"

"There's no signal inside gates."

"Oh."

His message fails to send again, and this time, he sees the reason why. Right, he forgot about that. It's been too long since he brought a phone inside a dungeon the fact that there would be no service slipped out of his mind.

"Should I go outside, then?"

"Huh?"

"What?"

Jinwoo looks at Jinho, puzzled. Jinho looks at Jinwoo as if he just told him that he's leaving him alone to fend for himself in a ditch full of monsters. To be fair, it was very much similar to that.

"Are you going to leave me alone here?"

Jinwoo blinks. "My soldiers will be inside. You'll be safe."

Jinho looks at his shadows. Sure enough, there was an abundance of them at work excavating the dungeon.

"I mean, sure, but, do you have to go? Can't you just wait until we're finished here?!"

He blinks again. Jinho was right, he could simply wait until they were finished with this dungeon before finally sending the video.

But also, it's been more than 10 hours since he last talked to you—that's five hours past the usual time. What if your AP lowers because he's taking too long before talking to you again?

[Tip: AP will only go down after 72 hours of no contact!]

He ignores the pop up.

"I won't be long, I just have to send this before I forget."

"Is the video really that important, hyung?!"

He doesn't answer, only walk through the exit and bid him goodbye after telling Beru to take care of Jinho.

He waits for signal outside. Waiting for his video to finally send, he takes a moment to think of what to text alongside the video.

Jinwoo:

1 attachment uploaded

Thought you'd like this. They're not exactly bears, but they try.

He taps on the side of his phone, waiting for a reply. It doesn't take him long, fortunately, as only a minute after he sent the video, you're already putting him on read and typing a reply.

You:

Oh?

You really sent me a whole documentary of the bears 😭😭

Hold on hold on let me watch.

[Task: Send {Capture Target} a photo/video of your shadow soldiers in "natural habitat"

Status: Complete

Reward: +2 AP | +1000 XP | +1000 gold

♡ = 28% ( + 2 ) ]

You:

AWWW

ONE OF THEM ROLLED OVER THE OTHER LIKE TUMBLWEEDDD

SO CUTEEE

ALSO THE BIG BEAR WITH THE SCARRR

HE WAVED?! HE WAVED !!

THATS SO CUTE EEEK

I WANT TO PET THEM

THE BIG BEAR LOOKS LIKE HES DELIRECTING THEM LIKE A MOVIE DIRECTOR LMAOO

He lets out a laugh-quiet, short-but nonetheless real. It's not one of those socially mandated smiles. This one slips out before he even notices, tugging the corner of his lips upward as he stares at your messages.

His fingers type out a reply before he can think.

Jinwoo:

He is their manager. I think he just promoted himself to coach, though.

Next time, I’ll let you pet them in person. Deal?

He freezes for a moment, turning rigid. Hold on, was that too forward?

You:

Wait

You'd let me?

Really?!!?

Yes

Yes.

YES

Let me know when you can!

Don't back out now hehe

Jinwoo stares at your stream of texts, all a varying response essentially meaning yes. His sighs fondly, a small smile etched on his lips.

[Achievement unlocked!]

[Rizz'o'meter off the charts: "smoothly" ask {Capture Target} out on another date.]

Jinwoo nearly chokes in his own spit.

Date?!

He covers his lips with his palm, resting his head against it as he reads through the pop up.

"It's not a date." He grumbles, but there's no hiding the dash of red coating his cheek subtly.

Taglist: @blackcat-star @daiyanomochi @soft-dots @snowy-violet @kokominari @ssolarsystm @2dmenfr @baby-bread-in @awwwia @coffeeisbehindyou @rai-xxx @sanchann @ilovestarwholock218 @simpingpandas @smellysluna @tanspostsblog @sauerhundz @justanotherweeb666

[yuurivoice]

I'm Writing A Novel, And I'm F*cking Terrified!

Not quite the headline you all might have been expecting, but yes, it's true! After writing hundreds of thousands of words over the past decade for all of my scripts, promotional material, and every other thing you could imagine—I'm looking to put pen to paper in the way I used to dream of. 

Long before I picked up a microphone and started making questionable noises into it, I was a storyteller. I wanted nothing more in my life than to create stories and characters that touched people, and most importantly, inspired them to create stories of their own. I was a seven year old kid fresh off of playing Final Fantasy VII when I knew I wanted to write. 

It was my first dream.

That dream and I have been on a wild roller coaster ride over the years. I've been in the trenches, roleplaying in dark corners of the internet. I've written professionally as a journalist all thanks to lowkey never telling anyone my age online as I got through high school. Oh, and while I was doing that, I was also writing sad boy poetry on LiveJournal and Myspace. 

You know me for my voice, but that voice has been developed through a lifetime of finding creative ways to string together enough words that when I slap a period at the end of it, the audience locks in. I've written 99% of what you've listened to from me. I take great pride in that, and that won't be changing any time soon.

The thing that brought me this far, the thing responsible for all of the daydreams and fantasies about wonderful worlds filled with characters and stories that fueled my creativity, was the hope that one day I'd write a novel.

If you've been a creative of any sort, you're likely very familiar with how effective hope is at creating something. It's a wonderful seed but until you start watering it and drag it out into the light of day, it cannot grow. So, consider this me dragging a big ass pot of soil out into the middle of our lovely little garden. 

There are so many beautiful stories we've grown together already: BitterSweet, Shattered, Lost & Found, and an entire extended universe that's coming to life in Evalas!

I want to create more. I want to entertain and inspire more. 

But what I don't want is to have come all this way and never taken a shot at the one dream I left behind. I want to write a novel. I have always wanted to write a novel. 

I don't give a damn if I'm scared. I don't care if I'm rusty and my writing is clumsy and ineloquent. I don't care that I have to dig deeper to find more time and energy to create and develop and refine. 

I'm able to say that because of you. 

Do you realize how powerful that is? That you could lift up someone who has been as tired and lost as I have been throughout my life? Have you seen me??? I'm a big son of a bitch!

This isn't me just saying thank you, though. I want to invite you along for the ride!

Let me introduce you to Ryland Dane. If you’ve enjoyed my storytelling thus far, I have a feeling you’ll appreciate what this fella has in store for the future! Every follow on every platform makes a huge difference and helps fuel this rocket we’re going to ride on this journey, and I appreciate you very much.

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If you are in the industry, a beta reader, editor, agent, or published author and would be interested in working with me in the future, please don't hesitate to reach out to my business email at rylanddanewrites@gmail.com! I'm sure there are a few of you lurking, and I am always keen on working with professionals who are familiar with my work and this journey I've been on!

[mymoodwriting]

4.8k, yandere, model/actress!reader, CEO!Jeonghan, power play, brat behavior, brat taming, stalking, harassment, paparazzi, forced hiatus, kidnapping, anxiety, mentions of alcohol, smut, restraints, minor BDSM, handjob, groping, fingering, penetration, creampie, possessive behavior

A/N: Surprise! This is my piece for the collab I'm co-hosting with @sanaxo-o as well as something written for them at their own request. I hope you enjoy!

“No comment.”

You got into the back of your limo while keeping a calm composure. As soon as the door was shut you sighed in relief and took off your sunglasses. The latest scandal getting all the media attention was about how you were secretly dating the male lead of the drama you had made a cameo in. Of course his fans were mad and throwing all kinds of hate your way. The pictures going around showed the two of you having dinner together in a private room, sitting side by side and looking so happy and in love. It wasn’t actually a date but you were really enjoying yourself, and everyone loves to spin a good story. Although it was a secret outing that your company didn’t know about, until now that is. 

When your phone started buzzing in your purse you already knew who was calling, but you weren’t in the mood for a scolding. You’d be at your company soon enough, and then you’d get an earful in person. Your phone kept ringing for a while but you continued to ignore it, wanting to enjoy what was left of your peace. Thankfully the building had a private entrance, so once past the main gate you didn’t have to worry about reporters, but it was better to remain cautious until you were inside. It was only until you were in the elevator that you could relax a bit, heading up to the top floor. As soon as the elevator doors opened your manager was there to greet you, a look of disappointment on their face.

“What the hell were you thinking!?”

“I deserved to be invited out for a meal.”

“You are unbelievable.”

“It wasn’t a real date. He just wanted to give me pointers for future acting gigs.”

“We both know that’s a lie.”

“But it’s what you’ll tell the press, right?”

“… the Ceo wants to see you.”

“Obviously. Let’s get this over with.” 

You made your way to the CEO’s office, not even bothering to knock and just letting yourself in, plopping down on the couch. You pulled out your phone and dismissed all the missed calls you had, going onto the internet to see what the latest articles were saying about you. Although you didn’t get to see anything as your phone was snatched from you.

“What have I told you about secret outings?”

“Don’t get caught.”

“I see you’re being smart today.”

“I’m very intelligent, thanks for noticing.”

“Except when it comes to sneaking around apparently.”

“It’s not my fault those reporters are stalking me! Why can’t you get a restraining order? Isn’t that your job?”

“I’m not a fixer, I’m the CEO of the company you represent and work for! It’s not my job to fix this mess of yours.”

“But you’ll do it anyway, right?”

“… why were you out with that man?”

“Jealous?”

“Answer me, y/n.”

You sighed. “He asked me out for dinner, wanting to talk about my career. I figured getting close to someone like him could help me get bigger roles in future projects.”

“And do you still think that’s gonna happen?”

“Absolutely. Those pictures show we have great chemistry, and I could be a wonderful love interest. Of course they were taken out of context but can still work to our benefit.”

“Our benefit?”

“I’m here to make you money, aren’t I?”

“Not at the moment. You’re going on hiatus.”

“What!? You can’t do that! I didn’t do anything wrong! Those reporters-”

“Just a week. A statement will be put out explaining that the dinner was a business venture and was rudely intruded upon. Then just let it all die down.”

“Fine.”

“Your manager is already re-working your schedule. So just keep a low profile and stay home.”

“Thanks, Jeonghan.” You cheered. “You’re the best. I’ll head back home now. So can I have my phone back?”

“I’m not done with you.”

“Hm? What else is there?”

Jeonghan walked back to his desk, turning off your phone and placing it in his desk drawer. You huffed, realizing your phone was confiscated for the week.

“Jeonghan…” You whined. “My phone.”

“You’ll get it back after your hiatus.”

“Jeong-”

“Were you on a date?”

“… hm… does that matter?”

“Yes.”

You chuckled. “It wasn’t a date, at least not to me. I just wanted a free meal and some advice.”

“Well, it turned out great didn’t it.”

“Enough already, you said I’m on hiatus and the company will put out a statement. So, do I get my phone?”

“No. I don’t want you on socials reading articles, or worse, leaving comments.”

“You’re also putting me on a tech ban!”

“If you can’t be trusted to honor it you can spend your hiatus at my home under close observation.”

“Uh, no thanks, I like my privacy.”

“Sure. I’ll see you in a week.”

The discussion was over and you returned back home. You took a different route and didn’t have to worry about any reporters. It was gonna be a long week, but you figured you could catch up on some sleep and really take care of yourself. Although Jeonghan was serious about the tech ban. You didn’t have your phone, and the wi-fi in your place was temporarily suspended. At least you still had access to your cards, so you could buy groceries to cook or pick up some food. It wasn’t good to go out much, so you put on a disguise yourself and made a trip to gather everything you’d need for your hiatus. Then you just relaxed and enjoyed your vacation. Towards the end you did get a bit antsy, just wanting to get back in your spotlight, so you practically slept a day away.

The next morning you were happy to see your chauffeur and eager to return to your place of work. Your first stop was going to be to the CEO’s office cause you desperately wanted your phone back. This tech ban was good for your mind and your eyes, but you missed your phone dearly. When you arrived your manager was there to greet you, wanting to talk about your schedule. You did have a photoshoot scheduled for the afternoon, but you were more focused on other things. As usual you didn’t knock and just let yourself in. There you found Jeonghan on the phone, and he quickly put a finger to his lips to tell you to be quiet. You sat down as he finished his call about who knows what, waiting patiently.

“Did you miss me?”

“I had some peace and quiet while you were gone.”

“Don’t say that!”

“But it’s true.”

“Whatever. Can I have my phone back now?”

“Are you going to behave?”

“I always behave. I’m not the problem in all these scandals and you know it.”

“You’re the common factor among them.”

“Am I gonna get my phone back or not?”

“Yes, yes, here.” Jeonghan retrieved your phone and held it out to you. “Just promise me you won’t sneak around anymore. When you do that you’re playing with fire.”

“And you’re my fire extinguisher, aren’t you?”

You happily took back your phone, eager to turn it on and see what you had missed. There was no point in dwelling on the past, but you did want to look over all the articles that had been written about you.

“Shouldn’t you be going? You have a photoshoot this afternoon.”

“I know, I know, I just have a lot to catch up on. I’ll see you later.”

“You’ll see me sooner than you think.”

🖤

The photoshoot you were participating in wasn’t one that needed to be rescheduled. It was for a new product launch, and the premier date was still a few weeks out, so your latest scandal wouldn’t affect anything. While you got your hair and makeup done you browsed your phone, reading some articles that had come out about you. The professional ones talked about the dangers of misinterpretation and jumping to conclusions. While the hateful fan made ones just made you laugh. They were trying to come after you one way or another, even mentioning past scandals but you were lucky to have your own fanbase coming to your defense in the comments. You’d love to do something to thank them, so you’d talk to your manager about it later.

“The second you get that back you’re glued to it.”

“Hm?”

You looked over to see Jeonghan at your side, rather surprised to see him. You were about to ask what he was doing when he took your phone from you.

“The shoot is starting, go on now.”

You heard the photographer calling for the models, so you got up and went over, still curious as to why Jeonghan was present. Your manager was still here, but you had to put your questions aside and focus on the shoot. The whole time Jeonghan was watching, but you couldn’t really see him behind the camera. It wasn’t until you had a break that you approached him, wanting your phone back more than anything. 

“Why are you here anyway?” You questioned. “People have already moved on from that not-date thing with a co-star.”

“Perhaps, but there are still people watching. So, I should make sure you behave.”

“Don’t you have a company to run?”

“Keeping you out of trouble helps the company overall.”

“If you say so.”

Jeonghan took your phone back when you resumed the shoot. He stuck around for the whole thing, waiting around for you to get out of hair and makeup and then escorting you to the van. Unsurprisingly there were some reporters waiting outside for you. They were snapping pictures and asking about your old scandal. Jeonghan gave you a warning look, so you knew it best to keep quiet. That is until someone dared to say something so absurd.

“Did you try to sleep with him because you know your modeling career is coming to an end!?”

“Wat-!?”

You were ready to snap back at whoever dared to say such a crude thing, but just as you opened your mouth you suddenly found a lollipop pushed past your lips. You glanced over at Jeonghan who just gave you a smile and opened the van door for you, ushering you to get in. You did so, sucking on the lollipop until you were on the road, your manager at the wheel driving as usual.

“We should sue them all for defamation.”

“That won’t change anything.”

“So we just let them continue to be disrespectful? This kind of stuff isn’t good for my mental health, you know.”

“Yet who keeps causing trouble?”

“I don’t do anything on purpose!”

“Right.”

“Whatever. Are you gonna keep following me on my schedules?”

“Until I deem you can be on your own, yes.”

“That’ll be fun.”

Jeonghan kept to his words and accompanied you on your schedules. He’d always confiscate your phone, probably checking your browsing history and stuff. It didn’t bother you much, just an extra helping hand for you.

“When did you reschedule that beauty shoot for? It’s the only schedule I haven’t made up.”

“We were unable to reschedule that one.”

“What? Why?”

“Conflict with availability. We told them we’d make it up somehow.”

“Oh, a different product then, or maybe-”

“We’ll have you participate in something else under that company.”

“… like what?”

“The company has launched a new arts and crafts kit. They wanted someone to demonstrate it with a group of kids and it seemed good for your image.”

“What!?”

“Your cameo in that last drama you did was as a teacher, so it’s a nice touch too.”

“No, no, no, Jeonghan, you know I hate dealing with kids! Haven’t you punished me enough?”

“I haven’t.”

“But-”

“You’re not getting out of this shoot. If you think you’re gonna be sick that day I’ll take you to see a doctor beforehand.”

“Jeongie, please.”

“I already have the outfit for the day picked out. Remember to smile and be kind, the kids are excited to learn. Don’t worry though, I will be accompanying you as well.”

“I hate you.”

“Sure you do.”

Every now and then you had to do something you didn’t like, but this was the first time Jeonghan would be watching you like a hawk. The day of the shoot you were given an overview of the product and then went before a group of kids to show it off. Just like any shoot this took hours, and you had to engage with all the kids. Helping them glue things together and decorate. By the end your clothes were ruined and you were gonna need a deep shower to get all the glitter off. The staff thanked you for doing this, and you took lots of pictures with the kids and their creations. Not to mention some parents wanted autographs too. You knew this was all good for your image but my gosh did you hate it.

“You did good today.”

“Fuck you.”

“Easy, there are children around.”

“They’re all gone.”

“You can’t be sure. Let’s get you back to the office and clean you up.”

“Ugh, I feel so messy.”

“You’re fine.”

“I still hate you.”

“Yeah, yeah, you’re welcome.”

You thought after a week Jeonghan would leave you alone, but no, he was still attending schedules with you. It wasn’t hard to see him as part of your team, but you had to admit it was worrying you a bit that he was still hanging around. He really wasn’t gonna let you off the hook so easily this time. That last scandal wasn’t even really your fault, but you couldn’t really argue with Jeonghan. Instead you focused on your current job, glad to be working with models you were familiar with. The shoot was a promotional one for an upcoming fashion show you’d be participating in. It’s been a while since you’ve done a show, so you were looking forward to this. Although this shoot was going to be longer than others since you had a multitude of outfits to get through. You didn’t mind since this was more enjoyable with friends.

“You should keep a distance from the other models.”

You chuckled. “Excuse me? Do you hear yourself, Jeonghan? This is a photoshoot, we need to put our hands on each other and whatnot.”

“Your last scandal came from you being too close to a man.”

“Again, this is modeling, it’s not my first time holding hands with a man for the camera. Unlike that last situation, I am fully consenting to have my picture taken.”

“Y/n.”

“Jeonghan, I’ve worked with these models before, and people know we’re all being professional here. If you’re jealous just say so.”

“That’s not what this is about.”

“Sure it isn’t.”

You never thought Jeonghan was the jealous type. He seemed so perfect and composed that his confidence would not waver. You didn’t know if he ever dated, but this behavior from him was unexpected. You were just another model in his company, yet he’s been hanging around you a lot and seems to have a problem with you being around other guys. It was ridiculous really, and it was probably about time you spoke up. Besides, having him watch you like a hawk was a bit unnerving.

“Hey, why don’t we all go out for some food?”

“Oh, that sounds-”

“No.” Jeonghan interrupted. “Y/n needs to be heading home and resting. Perhaps another time.”

“Hey!”

After a day long shoot one of your co-workers suggested you all go out for a meal and catch up. It sounded great, but Jeonghan was quick to shoot down the idea and excuse you from it. Next thing you knew he was dragging you over to the van.

“You could come eat with us too, you know.”

“It’s not about the food.”

“Let me guess, you don’t want me drinking around guys?”

“That’s part of it.”

“That scandal is long dead now, and everyone knows these guys are my co-workers! Nothing bad is gonna happen.”

“I’m not gonna take that chance.”

“You may be my boss, but you don’t control every aspect of my life!” You snapped. “Now let go!”

“Keep pushing your luck like this and see what happens.”

“Yeah? What are you gonna do?”

“You really wanna know?”

“If you’re gonna make threats you better follow through.”

“Fine then.”

Jeonghan got you into your van, going over to tell your manager they were done for the day, and then he got behind the wheel. You figured he was gonna take you back to the office, but the route he was taking was unfamiliar. He certainly wasn’t taking you back home, so you got a bit nervous as you realized you had no idea where you were going.

“We’re here.”

“And… where exactly is here?”

“Get out of the van.”

It wasn’t a request, but an order. You were still a bit too nervous to move, but that didn’t stop Jeonghan from opening the door and helping you out. You were in some parking garage, so there was nothing around you to help you identify your location. Jeonghan dragged you over to an elevator, scanning some ID card and merely hitting the button to go up. There was no number displayed, just a ding noise as you passed floors. At least that was your assumption. When the elevator stopped you looked at Jeonghan, but he seemed completely calm, then you knew why.

“Is this… is this your home?”

“Welcome.”

You stepped into the penthouse suite, rather amazed with how luxurious it looked. You always figured Jeonghan lived somewhere nice, but you never thought you’d actually get to see it. The view of the city skyline was gorgeous and you noticed a tray of alcohol and glasses nearby. You wanted to get a drink but Jeonghan stopped you.

“You’re almost always intoxicated when you cause trouble, now I see why. Don’t you think that’s cause to better yourself?”

“After all that work don’t you think I deserve a treat? A little drink won’t kill someone.”

“It might.”

“Then tell me what’s with you lately? Following me around on schedules, keeping me away from my guy friends.” You stated. “You’re acting like a jealous ex, you know that right?”

“I’m trying to prevent another scandal.”

“Seriously? You know half those scandals aren’t my fault! Just cause I’m breathing too close to a male the whole world thinks I’m some kind of whore.”

“That’s not true.”

“You’re certainly treating me that way now.”

“I’m merely trying to keep you safe.”

You scoffed. “Is this your idea of a pep talk? Cause it sucks. You may be the CEO of an entertainment company, but you are pretty naive as to how things work.”

“Am I?”

“Yes. I have to play nice with everyone or else we both lose. Business has been good, so you don’t need to worry about me.”

“You’re right. Despite everything, business has been good, and your reputation only ever gets dirty for a moment. But that doesn’t mean I don’t worry about you.”

“Why would you? If a day comes when I get into real trouble, it’s not that hard for you to cut me loose and leave me to fend for myself.”

“Who says I would do that?”

“Only an idiot would try to defend a troublemaker.”

“I’ve been doing that for a while. Are you calling me an idiot?”

“Those scandals are always baseless rumors that just create some drama, not something major. They were never a real problem to begin with.”

“Perhaps, but nothing is going to stop me from taking care of what belongs to me.”

“Yeah?”

You swiftly landed a kiss on Jeonghan’s lips, catching him off guard and making him stumble back. You laughed at his actions, pouring yourself the drink you wanted.

“You like me, don’t you? And that’s why you’ve been acting all weird lately.”

“That’s not true.” Jeonghan remarked. “I could report you for sexual harassment.”

“And you’d still be the one to punish me for it, right? Sounds like it works out for you.”

“What are you talking about?”

“I’m just saying. I know being around guys can get me in trouble, but I don’t just sleep around.”

Jeonghan laughed. “You’re forgetting who owns you here.”

“Is that a threat?”

“Not quite. More of a reminder. I’ve saved you countless times, yet I can just as easily destroy you.”

“What?”

“I’m your salvation, and your destruction. I’ve allowed you to do as you please while at my mercy, but I think it’s time you’re taught a proper lesson.”

There was truth to Jeonghan’s words, you knew that. It was never smart to blindly trust someone, regardless of what they said. Especially in this industry. Still, this was a side of Jeonghan you had never seen. His actions and words were putting you on edge, but you tried to keep it together. That is until he pinned you to the wall, causing you to spill your drink all over the floor and shatter the glass.

“Are you crazy!? Let me go!”

“You said I like you… but it’s much more than that.”

Jeonghan pinned both your arms above your head, keeping you in place with one hand while the other caressed your cheek. You flinched initially, not expecting his touch, but he wasn’t happy with your actions. He tsked at you, grabbing your chin and forcing you to keep his gaze.

“Every scandal you have gotten yourself into has been extremely annoying. People talking about you and someone else, as if any of those boys were worthy of you. Jealousy?” Jeonghan laughed. “That doesn’t begin to cover my feelings. You belong to me, and I think I’ve had enough of watching you being so close with other boys who don’t know anything about you.”

“Jeonghan…”

“Sh, behave yourself. I’ve always wanted to ruin you in the comfort and privacy of my own home, but if you’re gonna be trouble then I can ruin you publicly as well.”

“… you… you wouldn’t do that to me…”

“You’re underestimating what I’m capable of. So, are you gonna be a good girl?”

Your heart was pounding in your chest. Jeonghan was so close to you that his hot breath brushed against your lips. You were scared, yet excited at the same time. Maybe this wasn’t new, and this was just how Jeonghan was. It would certainly explain why you got special treatment. This could all be some kind of test, see if you’d submit under all this pressure. Or it could be an opportunity of a lifetime and you didn’t want to waste it. In the blink of an eye you leaned in close to kiss Jeonghan. Unlike last time he didn’t move away, instead releasing your arms and taking your head in his hands. The kiss was deep and desperate, Jeongghan only pulling away to catch his breath.

“That’s a good girl.”

Jeonghan took your hand and led you elsewhere. Soon enough you were in the bedroom, pushed onto the bed as Jeonghan began to strip you of your clothes. You tried to do the same but he quickly flipped you onto your stomach and tied your hands behind your back with your shirt. He pressed a few kisses along your back before flipping you back over. He got you out of your pants, taking your panties with you, then unhooking the clasp at the front of your bra. In a matter of moments you laid exposed before him meanwhile he was only shirtless. His hands trailed along your chest, and all you could do was squirm under his touch.

“There’s a reason I’ve never let you do any sort of nudity. Only I get to see this. Now, you’re gonna be a good girl, right?”

Jeonghan asked the redundant question just as he leaned down closer to you, his fingers running along your folds. You quickly bit your lip to quiet the moan that threatened to escape you, not wanting to sound so needy. He didn’t seem to like that, giving you a gentle tap on your cheek to get you to stop.

“No need to be shy.”

Jeonghan was cunning in his actions, punctuating his words as he pushed a finger inside you. This wasn’t enough prep time at all, but he seemed rather eager to get to the good part, and you felt the same. His free hand kneaded your breast and his fingers teasing your nipples. He wanted to provide all kinds of stimulation and get you in the mood. He seemed rather experienced, so you just needed to lay there and take it. Although you couldn’t just stay still, squirming until you managed to free your hands and reach over to feel Jeonghan’s chest, wanting to run your tongue along his abs. You thought he might have been upset that you got free, but he didn’t seem to mind.

Although after a moment he guided your hands down, letting you unzip his pants and spring out his cock. He was bigger than you had imagined, but it was a welcomed surprise. As you ran your fingers along his length, Jeonghan slid another finger inside your heat. A soft mewl escaped you, but you didn’t need to be shy. He worked you over as you stroked him to an erection, feeling him throb and twitch in your hand. You went slow, wanting to tease him just as he did you, and also not wanting him to climax until you felt him inside you. At some point he added a third finger, really stretching you out, but you weren’t sure it would be enough. You were both growing impatient and he decided to make the next move. You couldn’t help the whimper when he moved away and pulled out his fingers, but you didn’t have to be disappointed for long.

You felt something warm and slimy rubbing against your lips, glancing down to see Jeonghan coating your core with his precum. Then he pushed his way inside you, going slow and making you feel every inch. Your mouth hung open as Jeonghan moved all the way in, getting to the base and letting you adjust. He felt nice and big, rather glad things got to this. Then there was a kiss on your head and he started moving. He wanted to be gentle, but finally having you like this, he couldn’t show restraint. He was moving fast and hard, wanting to ruin you just as he said. Make you lose your mind and forget how to speak. All you did was hold on tightly, moaning and begging for more.

“Jeonghan…”

“That’s right, who owns you?”

“… you do… you, Jeonghan…”

“Good girl. My good girl.”

Jeonghan pressed his lips against yours as he continued to thrust into you, rubbing against your sweet spot and doing all the right things. You felt your body heating up, getting closer and closer to the edge. Jeonghan was there too as he had lost his rhythm, just moving desperately to achieve climax. You were both on the same wavelength, and you found yourself reaching your high first, moaning into the kiss and grabbing Jeonghan as you shook beneath him. As your body held him tightly he was pushed over the edge, the warmth between your legs making you realize he wasn’t using protection. You’d take care of that later, just breathing heavily as you came down from cloud nine. Jeonghan was in the same situation as you, resting atop of you and gently moving his hips to get and give as much pleasure as he could.

“What a good girl.”

“Jeonghan…”

“Sh, sh, sh, just relax. We don’t have to be anywhere.”

The two of you stayed together for a while longer, merely relaxing in each other’s embrace. Eventually Jeonghan got up, pressing a kiss to your cheek as he did so. You weren’t sure where he went until he came back and helped you up, taking you to the bathroom. He had prepared a bath, and the two of you would be sharing it. Jeonghan had you between his legs, letting your rest against his chest. You intertwined your fingers with his, starting at your hands holding one another.

“What does this make us?”

“No idea, but you’re still mine.”

“Am I?”

“Did you not learn your lesson just now?”

“Hm… I did learn something.”

“Then you should do better and not mess around with other guys from now on.”

“I’ll try, but I might need a reminder every now and then.”

“I have no problem teaching you who you serve.”

“Is that a promise?”

“No, it’s a vow.”

[bitchy-craft]

PICK A CARD: what would drive you to kill? (18+) *a little cringe*

Hello and welcome to this new reading of mine! In here I will tell you what would drive you to kill. I hope you enjoy it and find it interesting!

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for the extended version of this reading and 80+ exclusive and extended pac's check put my patreon

Pile 1:

What would drive me to kill?

The people I love. Easy. No hesitation. My friends, my family, my brothers and sisters. I don’t care who it is or why, if they try to hurt the people I love, I’ll lose it. Fully. I’d go blackout if I had to. Because you don’t touch my people. Ever. You don’t even look at them the wrong way. I’d rather be someone who protects with words. Who hugs it out. Who talks through it. But this world doesn’t always let you do that. Sometimes people cross lines that can’t be uncrossed. And in that moment? I wouldn’t be kind. I wouldn’t be sweet. I’d be done. I’d kill for them and still hold their hand after. I’d wash the blood off and help them fall asleep that night. They’d never even have to know. I’d carry it alone, I’d take the weight, the fear, the aftermath, if it meant they get to live their life safe and untouched.

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Pile 2:

What would drive me to kill?

When it’s survival or death. When someone forces me to pick between them or me, and I’m sorry, but I’ll pick me every single time. I’ve been through too much to let someone take me out. I’ve crawled out of places so dark most people wouldn’t even know how to breathe in them. I’ve seen things that rewired my brain, I’ve healed from things I never even talked about. I’ve had to rebuild myself using scraps; no map, no help, just stubbornness and a pulse. I had no one. So if someone tries to end that, if someone thinks they can take away the little bit of peace I’ve found, the safety I scraped together with bloody hands? No. I’ll kill before I let that happen, and I won’t feel bad about it either, because I know what it cost me to survive.

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Pile 3:

What would drive me to kill?

A memory, or a moment. A past version of me who stood there and did nothing, or couldn’t, or wasn’t strong enough. That version of me still lives in my chest, it still cries when no one is around. It still shakes when certain things come up. I don’t talk about it much, not because it wasn’t real, but because it was too real. Something happened, and that broke me in a way I didn’t even notice at first. By the time I was aware of it the damage was already done. I don’t even know what version hurts the most; the one that froze, the one that stayed silent, or the one that couldn’t fix it. And even though people say it wasn’t my fault, even if they try to reassure me that over and over again, I still carry it like it was; like I should’ve known better, as if I should’ve done better, as if I failed someone who didn’t deserve it. So now? If I ever see that again, if I ever hear that same scream, that same panic, that same desperate begging, something in me will break loose. No mercy, no pause, no waiting. I won’t freeze again, I just cannot afford to do so.

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[bullet-prooflove]

The Incident: Frank Langdon x Reader

Tagging: @kmc1989 @julessworldd @yousigned-upforthis @travelingmypassion @julius-ceasar

Summary: Frank's world is thrown into turmoil when he learns about your attack.

Companion piece to:

Ivy - Frank gets a tattoo to commerate the woman he loves.

Hypocrite - Frank struggles to make amends for a past wrongs.

Crash - Almost getting you fired wasn't the lowest point of Frank's addiction.

Rock Bottom - Frank hits rock bottom when he sees the devastation his addiction's caused.

Little Black Dress - Frank starts to spiral when he realises you're dating.

Every Damn Day - A drunk text leads to a confession.

Wet Dream (NSFW) - Frank sometimes dreams about the life you had together.

War Stories - A realisation about your coping habits leads you to Frank's door.

The Three Cs - Frank and you finally discuss your issues and pave away towards the future.

The Wall - A date at the climbing wall leads to a revelation from Frank.

Commitment - You create a fun way of showing Frank your commitment to the relationship.

At Your Alter - You discover Frank's tattoo when you undress him for the first time.

All In (NSFW) - You and Frank take a big step forward.

Slut (NSFW) - Frank gets a little bratty after a bad day.

Nightmare Fuel - Frank’s been waiting for the fall to come.

Boo Fucking Hoo - Your forced to defend yourself after you’re attacked outside the hospital.

Frank finds out about ‘the incident’ when he walks in on one of Gloria and Robby’s arguments in the corridor that leads to the ambulance bay. He’s on his way to meet you for a break when he almost slips on the smear of blood on the tiles, tuning into their conversation.

“You need to take Ivy’s fucking photo down from the website like I told you to when you decided to put the fucking things up. She’s the only SANE in this hospital and you just put a target on her back. It shouldn’t take two incidents for you to actually listen to me. This guy could have killed her.” Robby snarls at their Chief Medical Officer, his hands on his hips. “You are damn near lucky-”

And that’s when Robby sees Frank standing there, the colour draining from his face because that first incident, it still haunts Frank. It took him a long time and a lot of therapy to chase away the flashbacks of seeing you coming out of that stairwell, scrubs covered in blood, your whole body trembling as you begged for help.  

He can’t describe how it feels to know that something so fucking horrible happened to someone you love. How helpless it makes you feel, how devastated, how angry.

 “What the happened to Ivy?” He erupts, barging between the two of them, his voice edged with hysteria. “Tell me what the fuck happened to Ivy?”

Robby shoots Gloria a hostile look before his hand grips Frank’s shoulder, steering him towards one of the empty treatment bays.

The story he tells does nothing to put his mind at ease as he paces the confined space like an apex predator, stalking back and forth.

“She’s been taken upstairs for a head CT.” Robby says, his eyes following Frank’s motions, waiting for the moment he unravels. “She says she’s fine but she threw up a couple of minutes after I stitched the wound on the back of her head so we just wanna make sure there’s nothing else going on there.”

“What about Him?” Frank snarls, his furious gaze turning onto Robby as he rakes a hand through his dark hair. “What about the asshole that hurt her?”

Robby clasps his hands together behind his head before looking up at the ceiling as if he can see through the five floors above him.

“He is up in Urology having surgery to have one of his testicles removed. She managed to rupture it so badly they didn’t have a chance in hell of saving it.” Robby informs him. “Officer Underwood is in the waiting room up there, ready to read that son of a bitch his rights as soon as he wakes up. He says with the video it’ll be in his best interest to plead out so she won’t have to go to court.”

That had been the worst part last time, reliving it. As soon as you felt like you were putting it all behind you, the court date had come up and you’d had to face the man who tried to hurt you, the one that had stabbed Jesse three times in the abdomen for intervening. Your fellow nurse had lost a kidney and almost his life stopping that attack. You’d struggled to reconcile with it in the aftermath.

“Look.” Robby says, clasping Frank’s shoulder, stilling his movements. He ducks his head, making direct eye contact bringing Frank back here to the present. “This isn’t like the first time. I looked her over myself and she’s ok, I promise you.”

You’d been so fucking traumatised back then, the nightmares hadn’t stopped for months, not until you and Jesse had a heart to heart. You’d felt so damn guilty because you’d frozen when it happened.

It had started when the husband of the patient you’d been working with tried to kiss you on the stairwell. You’d told him it was inappropriate and it was like a switch had flipped. You hadn’t expected to jam his hand between your legs, to try to tug off your scrubs.

Jesse had interrupted the whole thing on his way back down from Psych, doing bed reconnaissance. He’d torn the son of a bitch off you and ended up being stabbed three times with a utility knife before being shoved down the stairs and left for dead. You’d tried to suppress the bleeding the best you could before you went for help.

“There’s three responses when something like that happens.” You had told Frank in the aftermath, your entire body vibrating against him as he cradled you close. “Fight, flight or freeze and I froze because it was the last thing I expected from the man who had just been told his wife may be paraplegic.”

Sexual assaults they’re all about power. That man was losing his so he decided to take yours. He’s now serving twenty years for his actions while his wife recovers in a rehabilitation facility Kiara helped set her up in.

“I know that this is hard.” Robby’s voice filters through Frank’s thoughts drawing his attention back to him. “But she’s really gonna need you to keep your shit together after something like this. She can’t be worrying that you’re about to go off the rails while she’s trying to process it. Do you understand what I’m saying?”

“Don’t use this as an excuse to go on a bender.” Frank summarises as he catches a flash of that Medusa tattoo through the glass. “Yea got it.”

“Frank…” Robby begins but Frank’s already out the door, striding towards you.  You’re standing in front of the screens depicting today’s patient lists, your arms folded tightly over your chest.

He takes up residence alongside of you like a sentry, standing close enough to be reassuring, to let you know that he’s there if you need him.

“Everything good?” He asks, tilting his head to study the profile of your features. His jaw tightens as he takes in the figure marks that blemish your throat, their dark stains bleeding into your skin.

“No brain injury or concussion, the vomiting was a reaction to being in that position again.” You inform him, your voice barely more than a rasp as you gesture towards your throat. “I sound like a phone sex operator.”

“Or like you smoke 80 a day.” He counters, the edges of his mouth tipping up into a strained smile. “You want me to take you home?”

“No.” You say shaking your head. “I wanna finish out my shift, return in a few days, do it all again.”

Frank gets it. It took you a month to come back to The Pitt last time and now you’re terrified of sliding back into that place, of letting the assholes win again. Your resilience, it astounds him, he feels like he’s falling to pieces and you’re still standing strong.

“You got any objections to working the rest of your shift with me?” He prompts, rocking back and forth on his heels.

“I’m okay Frank.” You assure him, tilting your face up to meet his tempestuous blue eyes.

“I know.” He says softly. “But I’m not.”

He needs to attend a meeting after this. He hates that Robby’s concerns back in the treatment room were valid. Something like this is the perfect excuse to pick up a couple of benzos to take the edge off, his fingers are already twitching thinking about it. Your hand slips into his and for the first time since he heard about ‘the incident’  it doesn’t feel like there’s an 18 wheeler slowly rolling over his chest.

“You'll be ok.” You promise him, squeezing his hand tightly. “Just like I will be too.”

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