#doctor frank langdon x reader

[bullet-prooflove]

Boo Fucking Hoo - Sequel Update!

Lots of people have been popping in and asking me about the sequel to Boo Fucking Hoo and Frank's reaction to Ivy's attack.

That fic has now been written and is on the schedule for Wed 14th May - 7pm GMT

It's a pretty traumatic one for Frank for reasons you'll discover in the fic and it gives you a little insight into the heroic efforts of one of the other Pitt characters that I write for.

I can't wait for you to read it!

The Summary: Frank's world is thrown into turmoil when he learns about your attack.

[science-hoes]

Angel Kisses

Dr. Michael “Robby” Robinavitch x Reader

Warnings: graphic medical descriptions, needles

A/N: I thought this fic would be a little less fluffy and more spicy but I just can’t help it. Plus I love Noah Wyle’s barely there freckles. I feel like this isn’t my best work because I had severe writers block. Hope it’s good enough for yall tho 💕

My Ko-Fi :)

—

The Pittsburg Trauma Medical Center was rumored to be the 9th level of Hell. So when it was time for you to begin your schedule for trauma surgery, you prayed for a different hospital. Literally any other hospital.

But there you were, in the depths of the Pitt, working your fifth 12 hour shift of the rotation. Only 1pm, but you felt like someone had changed the clocks because there was no way that the day was only halfway done. You were reading a pediatric patient’s CBC results, getting ready to tell your senior attending for the day, Dr. Jack Abbott, that the child is anemic. But Dana’s voice distracted you:

“You can’t even stay away on your day off. Do you have a life besides the Pitt?” She said to someone out of your view.

“Trust me. This is a last resort.” You heard a man respond, the voice slightly familiar.

You turned around and saw Dr. Michael Robinavitch, the senior attending from your first four days of working here. He didn’t look too different out of his scrubs and navy hoodie that he wore at work. Black joggers and gray long sleeve athletic shirt that hugged his waist…really nicely.

“Last resort for what?” Dr. Frank Langdon called out from where he sat at his desk, charting his patient case.

“I fell of a ladder and tore up my back on the fence in my backyard.” Answered Dr. Robinav- Dr. Robby, you had to remind yourself. “I need stitches, but I can’t reach the cut.”

Langdon winced and leaned back in his chair. “Need me to stitch you up?” He asked.

Dr. Abbott walked up to the desk near Langdon and laughed. “No, he wants his friend to stitch him up. Right, Robby?” He joked, referring to himself.

Robby laughed and crossed his arms, biceps straining against the fabric of the athletic shirt. Damn. “Friend is a strong word. I don’t have friends.” He said with a smile.

Langdon scoffed. “We went fishing last weekend. What does that make me?” He asked.

“I prefer the term ‘coworker that I hang out with sometimes outside of work.’” Robby said, but you could see the teasing in the way his eyes crinkled.

Dana rolled her eyes. “You are all annoying me. Jack, go stitch him up so he can get out of here and rest.” She said before walking off to a patient room.

Robby shook his head. “No, no, just let a med student do it. Good learning opportunity.” He said.

“No med students today. Only interns.” Langdon mumbled as he continued typing on his computer.

Robby clasped his hands together and held them close to his chest. “Even better. I would love for my scar to be in a straight line.” He joked.

Abbott looked to you, who had been watching the group interact from a couple of desks over. Your face flushed slightly, realizing you probably look like an eavesdropper. He motioned with his head toward Robby. “Why don’t you take our patient to holding and fix him up? I’ll take the CBC results.” He said.

“Yes, sir.” You answered, almost a little too seriously. The Pitt was an intense environment, but these attendings did not have the same egos as the ones from your last several rotations.

Robby chuckled at your earnestness. “Hear that, Langdon? ‘Yes, sir.’ You should be taking notes.” He ordered facetiously, pointing his finger at the senior resident.

Langdon looked up from his desk as you began walking with Robby to the back of the Pitt where the holding rooms were. “You know, we tell all of our patients over 65 to be very careful when doing yard work.” He called out.

Robby shot him a bird without turning back around. You smiled at the banter, not used to the lax interactions between physicians of different ranks. Once you made it to the room, Robby sat on the bed, and you grabbed a standard suture kit.

“Is it on your back?” You asked, turned away from him.

“Yeah. I’d do it myself if I could reach it. I managed to cover it up though.” He said.

When you turned back around, his tight fitting shirt had been peeled off his upper body. Holy shit. In the last five days, you didn’t really give yourself time to fantasize about your attending. He was handsome for sure and charming when he wasn’t jumping down a resident’s throat (yet he still had the patience of a saint). His abdomen was well toned, and his chest was smooth. Not what you expected based off his hairy forearms and face.

You must have been staring too much because Robby’s shoulders hunched, as if trying to subtly cover his exposed body. “Let me just take a look at the cut.” You said, trying to come back to earth. You moved to the edge of the bed and removed the bandage that he had placed himself.

You could see the blood that had leaked through the dressing, but you were not prepared to see the extent of the cut stretch across the majority of his upper back. “Oh, shit.” You swore.

Robby chuckled. “That’s not a comforting thing to hear from your doctor.” He said, shifting uncomfortably as the cold air of the hospital struck the wound.

You shook your head in a panic. “Oh, no, I’m so sorry. I wouldn’t say that to a normal patient.” You covered for yourself.

Robby shook his head. “No, no. Listen. You’re taking everything a little too seriously. Just relax. Roll with the punches. That’s the only way you’ll survive down here.” He explained.

You nodded, taking in a stiff breath anyway. You disposed of the bandaging and picked up the lidocaine syringe. “Okay. I’m about to start injecting lidocaine around the cut. You’ll feel the burning more than the needle.” You said. You placed one gloved hand on his back, giving yourself a guide while you held the syringe in the other.

“90 degrees or 45?” He asked, making you freeze in place.

You paused for a moment, almost afraid to say your answer in fear of being incorrect. “90.” You answered.

“Why?”

At this point, the needle was hovering just an inch above your first injection site. “Recent studies show that patients report less pain with a 90 degree angle.” You said, confident in your sources.

Robby smiled, but you didn’t see it. “Very good.” Was all he said.

You injected the first round of lidocaine, and he hissed at the burning around the open wound. You kept moving around the cut, injecting small doses. “You’re doing great, Dr. Robby.” You praised, just as you would with any patient.

“Fuck, I say that to patients all the time. No wonder it makes no difference.” He grumbled.

You smiled slightly and injected the final dose. “All done.”

Robby let out a heavy breath, hanging his head as the skin slowly numbed where you worked. You began to open the suture kit and sort out its contents on the metal tray near the bed.

“What stitch?” He asked.

You grabbed some gauze and antiseptic from the drawer in the room before returning to his side. You cleaned the skin around the wound where the blood had dribbled down his back in a mix with sweat from working outside.

“Running stitch. The cut is long but not at risk of tension.” You answered. Robby nodded in approval. You carefully started on your first stitch, delicately inserting the curved needle into his skin. “So, you were on a ladder?” You asked.

Robby huffed in slight irritation. “Yeah. Trimming some branches that were reaching over the fence into the neighbors’ yard. I misstepped on the way down and lost my balance.” He explained.

You grimaced. “That sucks.” You said matter of factly.

“Yeah. Maybe Langdon is right. I’m getting too old for that kind of stuff.” He said with a chuckle.

Your hands carefully moved as they continued to sew. “You don’t look old.” You said.

Robby smiled to himself, not expecting you to respond at all. “You think so?”

“Yeah.” You said, glad he couldn’t see your involuntary blush. As you continued to stitch, you noticed all of the spots and marks that dusted his back and shoulders. “I like your freckles.” You noted.

Robby’s mind halted. It was a compliment he had never received. Your words went straight to his chest, and for the first time in a very long time, he felt flustered.

“My freckles?” He repeated.

You smiled and nodded. “Yeah. You got ‘em on your face too?” You asked.

Robby turned his head, not to present his face, but because he was still surprised and wanted to see if you were being genuine. And there they were. A light scattering of freckles across his cheeks and bridge of his nose.

“Yep. They’re precious.” You said after inspecting and returning back to your stitching. Robby’s face flushed, and you could especially see it in his ears as you worked. “You know, my mom used to tell me that freckles were angel kisses. Every time I got a new one, I thought an angel had kissed me. I went an embarrassingly long time into junior high before realizing it was just a tall tale.” You explained.

Robby smiled at the charming story, feeling an unusual feeling of comfort. “My grandmother used to say the same thing.” He said.

You grinned. “Looks like the angels couldn’t get enough of you then.” You teased.

Robby chuckled and ran a nervous hand across the back of his neck, careful not to pull against the skin as you worked. “How’s it looking back there?” He asked, trying to continue conversation.

“I need to run about five more stitches. Then you’ll be on your way.” You said.

He nodded and folded his hands in his lap. “Are you working tomorrow?” He asked.

You thought for a second, honestly not sure. “I don’t think so. My first off day since I started.” You replied. “Are you?”

“No. Seven on, seven off.” He said.

You pulled at the last suture and cut the remaining thread. “All right, Dr. Robby. You’re all cleaned up.” You announced.

“Great.” Robby hopped off the bed and stood up straight, popping a few kinks in his back from being hunched over. He towered above you, losing the intimacy that you temporarily had. “Take a picture and show me.” He said.

You pulled off your gloves slowly, unsure of how to respond. “Of the stitches?” You asked, afraid that he was going to grill you for sloppy suturing.

“Yeah, just to see the damage.” He responded.

You pulled your phone out and stood behind him. Fuck, even his back looked good. You snapped a picture and zoomed in to show him your work. Definitely saving that for later. “Does it look okay?” You asked timidly.

Robby nodded, impressed. “Actually yeah. Don’t think I could’ve done it better myself.” He complimented.

You laughed in relief. “Oh, good. I still need more practice on different suture patterns. I’m just lucky you were a simple case.” You said.

Robby looked down to you, letting his eyes linger as he watched you put your phone away. “If you aren’t busy tomorrow, maybe I can give you a masterclass. All ER docs have to know every suture.” He offered.

You looked up to him, suddenly very aware that he was still shirtless in front of you. You smirked and crossed your arms. “Sure. But only if you teach me just like this.” You said, looking him up and down. “You know, because you’ll need to let those stitches breathe.”

Robby grinned. “Wow. That was pretty smooth.” He admired.

You shrugged. “Just rolling with the punches.” You responded, repeating his quote from earlier. “Give me a call tomorrow.”

And you left. Robby stood there, smiling to himself. He pulled his shirt on and walked out to the desk hub. Langdon was still charting, but caught the attending before he snuck out. “What’s that goofy smile for?” He asked, even though he knew the answer.

Robby shrugged, hands in his pockets, unable to shake the smile off his face. “I don’t know.” He said before walking away to leave.

Abbott leaned against a desk near Langdon. “His ears are red.” He noted. “That motherfucker is in love.”

[leo-in-the-pitt]

Until The End

This is Chapter 3 of the Beginning to End series !

Summary: With your 2 year anniversary coming up with Dr. Jack Abbot, you’re trying to figure out his secret plans and see if you can get over the final hurdle in your relationship before it's too late.

Warnings: Established relationship, age gap (unspecified but reader late 20s, Abbotts an old man), beginning is all fluff but the end is something else, strong language, sexual tension, unprotected p in v sex, fingering, handjob/blowjob, all the dirty stuff tbh 

Word Count 8.8K+, was shooting for 10k but I'll take it

Until The End 

Monday

You caught Jack talking to Robby that Monday afternoon. Both of you were busy obviously planning something for your 2 year anniversary. He was the absolute worst at keeping secrets but, apparently when it came  these plans he had nothing to say.

He ordered some pizza that night for dinner and you two sat next to each other on the couch. He seemed on edge, not making much conversation. He usually never shuts up during movies. He kept checking his phone and you could see him typing but, didn’t bring it up.

“You sure you’re alright Jack?”

He had a mouthful of pizza. “Yeah why?”

“You’re acting really sketchy.”

“I’m just trying to eat my pizza.”

“Mhm, so what exactly is the plan for Friday?”

“I already told you, it’s a surprise. Stop trying to spoil it for yourself.”

“Well you know that I hate surprises. I’m a planner Jack. I need to know what we’re doing. What am I supposed to wear?”

“I already told you I picked an outfit out for you.”

“Okay but what if it doesn’t fit? Or I don’t look good in it? There is an outfit right? You’re not just trying to get me naked?”

“Well, now that you mention it, that’s not too bad of an idea.”

“You’re just full of jokes tonight aren’t you Abbott?” 

Everybody called him Abbott, only you called him Jack, unless you were annoyed with him.

“Oh, now I’m Abbott?” He nodded his head in disbelief. 

“Until I know what we’re doing Friday, you’re Abbott.”

“Look who has the jokes now.”

You let the topic go for the rest of the night. But if there was one thing about you, you weren’t going to let this go. He would hear about it again.

———————————————————————

Tuesday

It was always a bit of a habit to go out for food together at least once a week. You both hated cooking and doing the dishes so this ended up being one of the easiest compromises in the past 2 years.

You typically ended up at your favorite diner, which he was most definitely tired of but, it kept you happy so he kept going. It was around noon when you arrived to the diner with him. Both ordering your usual without even needing the menus.

“You want to spilt a milkshake?”

“But you never want one?”

“Yeah but, I know that you do. And I’m feeling extra nice in this moment.”

“What are you doing? Making sure I don’t leave you before we hit 2 years?”

“Yeah I’m just buttering you up since there’s actually no plans for Friday.”

“You’re really pushing it Abbott, you know that?”

“You know you love it.” He said with his crooked smirk that drove you wild even after all this time.

You said nothing just shook your head at him. But don’t worry, you got your milkshake. 

Once you got home it was already time to start getting ready for a nap since you’d be working 2 night shifts back to back with each other before your anniversary. Maybe you could find out if he told anybody else about his secret plans.

You were dragging after your 3 hour power nap. No amount of sleep was ever going to be enough for you. But Abbott, of course, was already bouncing off the walls ready to leave. 

“We’re going to be late because of you.” He yelled from the kitchen. 

“Forgive me for wanting to cover up my under eye bags Abbott.”

“You gonna call me Abbott at work too?”

“Depends, are you going to tell me the plans?”

He rolled his eyes, “I’ll be in the car waiting for you.” And he walked out of the apartment.

Once you got to work, of course you had to go say hi to Langdon.

“What’s up kid?” He put out his hand for your handshake.

“I’m on a mission tonight.”

“Oh god that’s never a good thing.”

“First of all the last mission I went on here was to get Abbott, and I succeeded so I’m trying again tonight.”

“Wa- wait, did you just call him Abbott? What happened?” His eyes widening. 

“He’s Abbott until I know what Fridays plan is.”

Yet another man rolling his eyes at you tonight. “Why are you trying to ruin the fun?”

“I hate surprises Langdon, like I despise them. It’s eating me alive slowly and painfully. Like look at him over there whispering with Robby.” You looked over and squinted while waving at the two of them. 

Robby waved back laughing and Abbott just shook his head without cracking a smile. “They’re probably talking about it. Do you know anything?” You turned to him with puppy dog eyes. 

“I already told you, no. You’re my best friend and Robby is his best friend, why don’t you go ask him?” He shrugged. 

“You know what? You’re right. Maybe I should, I’ll be right back!” You skipped over to Robby and Abbott.

“Oh shit, I was just kidding.” He yelled but, you were already gone. 

You marched yourself over across the ER to the nurses station they were standing behind. Basically skipped over, smiling like a child.

“What’s the hot gossip boys?”

“I know nothing. I have nothing to say. I’m going home to my wife. Have a good night you two.” He waved directly at you, smiling. And he was gone.

You glared over at Abbott. “What did you do tell everyone not to talk to me until Friday?”

“That’s exactly what I did. Nobody knows anything anyway but, I don’t want them putting ideas into that mind of yours.”

The rest of the night was hectic. No more chances to trick anyone into spilling details. Not even a chance to sit down. You decided to give a rest, at least for the night.

———————————————————————

Wednesday 

He seemed different on the drive to work, glancing out the window, his mind racing with plans and details of the Friday plans, before forcing a calm smile as you asked him if he was okay. He was feeling guilty for not letting you in on the secret yet, but you had no idea.

“I’m telling you, I’m so ready for this week to be over.” 

Each night that you worked together, when things would slow down, even just slightly, you find each other to sit down for a quiet moment to catch up on charting.

Jack taps his fingers on the desk nervously, the clock ticking by slowly. He’s been planning the surprise for weeks, and now, the moment is almost here. But his mind was all over the place. He starts typing up a note, clearly not paying attention to what keys he was hitting.

You glare over at his screen. Words underlined in red and blue. Mistakes written all over the page.

“Hey, what’s up with you?” You sat back and glared at him. His mind clearly somewhere else. 

No response. For a moment, he’s lost in the thought of how his life is about to change.

“Earth to Abbott?” You waved your hand directly in front of his face. 

“What happened?” His head sharply turned to you.

You pointed to his screen. “What’s going on there? Forgot how to type?”

He rubs both eyes. Took a deep sigh. “Guess I’m just really tired tonight.”

“Wow, you tired? Never.”

———————————————————————

Thursday 

Tomorrow’s the big day. 2 years down, hopefully forever to go.

You were absolutely exhausted after the past 2 nights. But to flip your sleep schedule you were only planning a quick nap. Abbott on the other hand was basically ready for another shift.

“I will never understand how you require so little sleep.”

“And I don’t know how you need so much.”

He cooked you dinner, dishes are still in the sink. Sitting on the couch, a candle flickering on the coffee table, soft music playing in the background. Music from a playlist you’ve been adding to since you were a teenager in high school. It was filled with cheesy love songs, songs that you wanted at your future wedding.

“Can you believe it’s been almost two years?” You said laying your head on his chest.

“I know. Feels like it flew by yet also like I’ve known you my whole life. I still remember our first official date, how nervous we both were.” He caressed your hair out of your face. 

“You kept fiddling with your napkin the entire time."

“Hey, I was trying to impress you. Clearly, it worked well enough to keep you around all this time. I was trying so hard not to mess anything up. You were just sitting there, looking as beautiful as ever. It was intimidating.”

"I was nervous too! But honestly, the moment you started talking, I felt so at peace. Like I knew I was in the right place with you. I didn’t think even for a second that we’d end up here, like this, happier than ever.”

“I think that was the moment I knew. Something about you, just made sense. Just remember thinking, 'I really hope this isn’t the only date.'"

“And here we are, two years later.”

"And I wouldn’t trade a second of it. That night changed everything. You changed my life in all the best ways. I didn’t even know what I needed that until I met you.”

“I feel safe here in your arms. I could stay here with you forever and be completely okay.” You leaned up to kiss him. “So tomorrow’s the big day. Got anything special planned Abbott? This is your last chance to tell me!” You said while looking into his big green eyes.

“Those big beautiful brown eyes of your will get your anywhere if you try hard enough. But not tonight babygirl, not tonight.”

“I don’t quit Abbott!”

“I’m just gonna keep it simple. Just us being together. Nobody else.”

———————————————————————

Friday 

You slept for 12 hours straight Thursday night into Friday. You were woken by the smell of breakfast cooking. 

Still half asleep you said, “Oh god he’s going to burn the apartment down.” You quickly hoped out of bed. Wearing his clothes already, you grabbed a pair of socks out of his drawer, of course, and headed towards the kitchen.

As you walked out of the bedroom, the morning light streamed through the windows of the apartment. The clinking of plates and kitchen utensils filled the room. Your eyes light up at the sight in front of you. 

Pancakes, fruit, freshly brewed coffee, and the biggest bouquet of red roses you’ve ever seen. Balloons tied all around the apartment. A gift box in the middle of the kitchen island. And Abbott standing there smiling at you, ear to ear. His silver curls shined in the rising sun beaming through the shades. Still in the same clothes he went to sleep in. White t-shirt and gray boxers. 

God, how are you going to get through the day with him looking like that? You thought to yourself. 

“What’s all this for?”

“Haha you’re so funny.”

“I got jokes too. But really, happy anniversary to my favorite guy on the planet. I love you.”

“Happy anniversary babygirl. Love you more than you know.”

“Homemade breakfast? On our anniversary? You really are a professional at this ‘romance’ thing huh? Why do I feel like there’s more going on here than just pancakes?”

Next thing you know his hands were on your neck pulling you for a kiss. It was passionate. The type of kiss you don’t want to ever stop. But he pulled away first.

“I wasn’t done with you.” You said. 

“You’ll get more later, don’t worry.”

“You’ve outdone yourself already Abbott”

“Still Abbott huh?”

“Maybe you’ll earn your name back by the end of the day.”

“Oh, I plan on it.” In a lowered tone, “I’ll be hearing it nice and loud tonight.” Again with that smirk.

“What did you just say?”

“Don’t worry about it.”

Oh you heard him loud and clear. You just wanted him to say it directly to you.

“Here.” He picked the gift box up off the table and handed it to you. “Just a little something to start the day with. Don’t worry, there’ll be way more later.”

You unwrapped the box slowly. A small jewelry box. Oh shit, this better not be a ring right here, right now.

You opened it. A necklace. Golden with his initial and birthstone.

“So everybody knows that you’re mine. Needed you to have something special, something you can keep close to your heart.”

“Oh my god. Put it on my right now.”

You took the necklace out of the box, handed it to him and turned around. He brushed your hair out of the way, gently rubbing the back of your neck. Shivers went down your back. You could feel him just centimeters away from you. Nothing separating your bodies except the thin fabric. 

God you were touched deprived.

You turned back around to him while holding onto the necklace. “I love it Jack.”

“Ah, I get my name back.” He smiled.

“For now at least.” You tilted your head at him.

“Wait let me go grab your gift!” You ran back into the room to get his present.

"Whispering as low as he could get, "I'll be hearing my name loud from you tonight." You could here him laughing from the kitchen.

"What did you just say?", you yelled from the bedroom. No response.

“Here!” You were so proud to hand it to him.

Two small boxes. “Which should I open first?

“This one! Not as poetic as your gift but just open it."

He opened up the box to reveal the watch.

“Holy shit!” He looked up at you. “You shouldn’t have.”

“New salary is treating me well I guess. Take it out! Look at the back!”

He took it out of the box to see the dates engraved. The day you met and the day you started dating. 

“I figured no matter where you go, you’d have a little piece of us with you. Plus, I just thought it’d look amazing on you."

“Can’t wait to show this off at work.” He immediately put it on his left wrist.

“Well, just don’t get blood all over it though. Come on open the other one!”

This one with a last second buy when you were leaving the jewelry store. A chain to perfectly match the watch. You’d been telling him since you got together how good he’d look with one on but, he never got one.

“I guess great minds think alike huh?” He winked at you. “Well now you have to put it on me.” He handed it to you and turned around. As quietly as he possibly could, he muttered, “You’ll be seeing this up close later.”

“Why the hell do you keep doing that?”

“Doing what?” He laughed.

“Mumbling under your breath! It’s driving me crazy! What did you just say?”

“Are you going crazy? I didn’t say anything!”

Rolling your eyes at him you said, “So, now what’s the plan Abbott?”

“Really with the Abbott again? Really?”

“Stop mumbling and speak up then.”

“Well the plans don’t start until later, so I just want us to spend this time together, enjoying each other’s company, away from all other distractions.”

“Sound perfect to me!”

The day went on, spending time watching each other’s favorite movies, listening to music while dancing around the apartment. Time slipped away with him. 

He stretched as he got up off the couch, “Should probably start getting ready now.”

You went to shower first. Then he went. 

“So where’s this special outfit?”

“I left it hanging on the closet door. Shoes are in there too. Let me just go grab my clothes and then you can get dressed in there and I’ll get dressed out here.”

You went into the bedroom and took the dress out of the bag it was hanging in. 

“Abbott!”, you ran out into the living room where he was getting changed.

He was pulling up his black dress pants, blue briefs underneath. Leaving no room for imagination and showing you everything you have been missing. Zipper, button, and belt all still undone. His undershirt was still lying over the couch. You’d seen him shirtless all the time but, right now, your mind began to wonder. 

You licked and bite your lip not realizing that you were just staring at his bare chest. His hand slid into his pants to straighten out his briefs. 

“Did you come here to say something or just to see me half naked?”

You were able to rip your eyes away from his body for just one second. “Both apparently. Uhm when did you find the time to go get this?” You held up the dress.

It was dress you saw a woman wearing a few weeks earlier and became obsessed with, even asking her where she got it from. White with blue flowers, thin strips, open in the back, slit down the right leg. You never found the time to go see it in person. But he did. 

“I knew you wouldn’t go back for it. So I did. The day after you first saw it. Figured it’d be perfect for the occasion.

You turned around to start walking away. “Well you’re gonna be taking it off me tonight.” You whispered. 

Abbott started laughing. “What’d you just say to me?”

“Nothing!” You ran into the bedroom and shut the door behind you. 

Since he decided to surprise you wet the dress, you put on a surprise for him underneath. 

He even laid out your white sandals with a slight heel. He was still a whole head taller than you. 

“Can’t believe we’re finally going out. I’ve been looking forward to this all week."

Glancing over at you, grinning, “Wow, you look incredible, I think I’m going to have a hard time keeping my eyes off you tonight."

Laughing lightly, turning to face him, “Oh really? Well, I might need to make sure you’re paying attention to where we’re going, because you might get distracted."

He stepped closer, lightly touching your arms, “I think I’ll be okay but I might need a little reminder of how lucky I am to have you by my side." "Well, I’m lucky to have you too. Just don’t be surprised if I end up stealing all of your attention tonight.”

His eyes on you "Trust me, it won’t be hard. I don’t think I could ever take my eyes off you."

"Let’s see if you still feel that way after a whole night.”

He looked down at the time on his new watch. “Shit, we better get going to make the reservation. You might want to take a sweater or something, probably going to be a little chilly out later tonight?”

“Oh, so you’re going to take me somewhere outside then?”

“You’re killing me babygirl.”

“Let me go grab something then.”

You ran back into the bedroom, opening the closet door. Scrambling for one specific item. Putting your arm all the way in you found it. 

The Beers of the Burgh zip up sweater. 

Jack shoved it all the way in the back corner of the closet after your assault, making sure you wouldn’t have to see it. But you were ready to wear it again tonight.

“Okay, I’m ready!”

“What is that?”

You walked up to him and held out the sweater.

“Are you sure?”

“I feel completely safe with you Jack. I’m ready to fully move past it.”

He gave you a light kiss on the cheek, “Let’s go then babygirl.”

All the way down to the car, you pestered him to tell you where it was exactly you were going. He wouldn’t budge. 

“Maybe I’m taking you somewhere completely unexpected. I guess you’ll just have to trust me."

Laughing, playfully narrowing your eyes, “I do trust you more than anything, but now I’m really curious. Should I be excited or nervous?"

He smiled mischievously, “Definitely excited. Trust me, you’re going to love it. But I promise, it’s not whatever you’re thinking."

You leaned back in the seat, raising an eyebrow "You’re making me even more curious now. Are we going somewhere fancy? A secret restaurant? Or are you about to whisk me off to a secret adventure?"

"Maybe a little bit of everything. But tonight is about enjoying the surprise and you’re going to have the time of your life.”

Excitement took over your body. "Okay, okay, I’m all in. I guess I’ll just enjoy the ride and see where it takes me."

He reached over and giving your hand a squeeze "That’s the spirit. I can’t wait to see your face when we get there."

He parked the car and you finally underwent he was excited for you to find out the surprise. 

“Wait, is this the place? Oh my fucking god Jack! This is the place I’ve telling you about for months now!”

Smiling and glancing over at you, "Yeah, this is it. I knew you’d love it. Trust me, you’re going to be impressed."

“I talked about it so much but never even looked at their menu!”

"You’ll find out soon enough. All I’m saying is, they have some of the most interesting dishes. I couldn’t wait to bring you here."

Holding out his hand to you, “Come on, let’s go inside. And I promise, this is just the beginning of a perfect night."

You took his hand with a smile, "Okay, I’m officially excited. If the food is half as good as the surprise, we’re in for a treat."

You’ve were seated at an elegant table inside the restaurant, and you’re both soaking in the ambiance.

You looked around, amazed, "Wow, this place is gorgeous! I can’t believe you got a reservation here! They literally have a Michellin star Jack!”

Smiling as he watched your reaction. "I’m glad you like it. I thought it would be the perfect spot for tonight. I wanted the night to feel just as special as you are.”

Looking at him with a soft smile you said,  "You really know how to make a girl feel special. I’m already having the best time, and we haven’t even started eating yet."

Softly laughing, “That’s the plan. Just wait until the food comes, trust me, it’ll make the night even better."

“If the food is as good as the surprise, I’ll be asking you to pick all our date spots from now on."

“I’m happy to take that responsibility if it means making you smile like this all the time.”

After spending 3 hours in the restaurant, you could see the sun beginning to set outside.

"That was absolutely incredible. I can’t believe you did this. It was perfect!”

“I’m glad you liked it. But, the night’s not over yet. There’s one more surprise I’ve got in store for you."

Your eyes widened. "Wait, another surprise? I’m not sure I can handle any more excitement tonight Jack!”

“You can handle it, trust me. I promise you’re going to love it.”

“God, I hate surprises but, I think you’re beginning to change my mind.” 

He took your hand as you walked out the door. “Good. You deserve it. Just wait  it’ll be worth it at the end”

Right before he opened the car door for you, he stopped. 

“I need you to do something for me first.”

“I’m listening.”

“I need you to put this on.”

He reached into his pocket and pulled out a long strip of black fabric.

“A blindfold? Really Jack?”

“I’ll be worth it. I promise you. Trust me babygirl.”

“Fine but, you have to put it on me.”

You turned around. He reached around and gently tied it. He whispered , “Maybe we can use this later.”

You turned around to face him, and bit your lip. “I don’t know how you can top any of this, but I’m ready to watch you try.”

You could feel him smiling confidently as he opened the car door and guided you inside. His hands gliding across your body sending shovers down your spine.

“You’ll see soon enough. Trust me, this one’s going to be unforgettable."

He drove for what felt like forever. 

“Are we there yet? People are going to think you’re kidnapping me!”

“Perfect timing, we’re here.”

He put the car in park and turned it off. 

“Can I take this off now please?”

“Not yet. Let me come around and help you. Take your sweater, it got pretty cold out.”

“Jack, I swear if I walk into something-“

“I got you babygirl, don’t worry.” He held his hand on your lower back which was left exposed from the dress. You both walked a short distance from the car. Breeze slowly past you.

“We’re here.”

He stood in front of you, reaching his hands slowly around you to untie the blindfold.

You blinked hard to refocus your eyes. You looked to your left and right smiling. “You know when you said we were going somewhere special I didn’t exactly have the hospital in mind.”

You were standing at the entrance to the emergency department.

“Do you remember the first time we met?”

“The day you told me my excitement to be here would be short lived? I’ll never forget proving you wrong.”

“You know,” he took a deep breath, “I was struggling to come back here day after day, loss after loss. I wasn’t seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. Not until you walked in and brought the sun with you into every shift. You’ve become my favorite part of every day. Even the hard days feel lighter with you in them. So yeah, this place will always be special. It’s the place where I found my forever. “

You went up on your toes to kiss him.

“Come on let’s go for a walk.” He grab your hand and lead you across the street into the park. After walking the path for about 20 feet, you saw tea light candles on both sides of the path with flower petals in between. 

You stopped right in your track. Tears already filling your eyes. Face becoming warm. 

“Jack, what is this?”

He smiled softly as you. “Come on. Let’s keep going to our spot. Want to show you something.”

You kept walking until you reached the middle of the path by the bench you two had sat on when he asked you to be his girlfriend. A bouquet of red roses sat on the bench in front of you.

“This is where I made you my girlfriend. And where I told you I loved you for the first time. Felt like the right spot to do this next part too.”

He pulled out a small piece of paper from his pocket. “You know, I did have this whole speech planned but, things never go according to plan anyway so…” 

He crumbled up the paper and shoved it back into his pants pocket. 

And lowered himself down onto one knee. 

“Two years ago today, we walked into this park as friends and left as a couple. Everyday since then has made me the happiest man on earth. You’ve been my partner in everything, my safe place, my challenge, my home. My forever. 

Tears filled your eyes as your hand covered your mouth. “Jack”, you said as your voice broke.

“You’ve taught me more than being a doctor ever could. You showed me that love isn’t always loud. Sometimes it’s quiet. It’s in the way you look at me when you think I’m not watching, the way we laugh at things no one else would understand. It’s in how we argue, but always come back to each other. You’ve taught me what real love is. You make me brave. You make me a better man. And I want to spend my whole life figuring out how to love you even more than I already do. I’ve seen so many versions of happiness in my life but none come close to what I feel when I’m next to you The more I think about it, the more certain I become.”

Tears streamed down your face.

 “So I guess I just have one question for you.”

He slowly reached into the inside pocket of his jacket and pulled out a small red box. With his hands shaking, he opened it gently. He revealed a simple yet elegant ring.

“Will you do the absolute honor of marrying me?”

A mixture of awe, laughter, and happy tears beginning to fill the space between you. You fell into his arms as he knelt before you. Wrapping your arms around him and letting the full weight of your body lean into him. 

He leaned back, “Is that a yes?”, he said laughing.

“You could’ve asked me this the day we met and I would have said yes and 2 years later, the answer is still yes! I’ll always choose you Jack”

Still both kneeling on the cold, hard ground in each other’s arms laughing, crying, holding each other like no one else exists in the whole world.

He gently placed the ring on your finger. The outside world distant, everything had stopped except for you and him. The promise of a future.

He lifted you up and held you in his arms. You could stay in this moment forever. You glared down at the ring in full for the first time since he opened the box.

“I wanted it to be perfect. I spent weeks choosing it. Even brought Robby to the jewelers with me. I know it’s not just about the diamond or anything but I wanted you to have something that felt as special as you are to me.”

You couldn’t peel your eyes off of it. Slowly turning the ring on your finger, mesmerized by its beauty, feeling the weight of it, both literally and metaphorically.

“You picked the perfect one. Not just the ring. This whole night. Just you and me here together”

You took a deep breath you looked up into the cloudy night sky. A slight breeze flowing in between you both. Taking in the full moment for all its worth.

You heard more then just the wind rustling in the trees, before you could even realize what was happening, all your favorite people appeared. 

Robby, Collins, Langdon, Mel, residents, nurses, at least a dozen people closest to you two.

“Surprise!” You heard it from every direction possible. Cheers for the both of you. 

“You two are going to be so great together. You know we’ve all been rooting for you since day one, right?” Mel yelled excitedly. 

Hugs from all around for you both. You lost track of just how many people he brought to support you.

“Come on let’s see that rock!”

You put your hand out for everybody to see. Thankfully, you got your nails done earlier that week. The ring catches the moonlight just right, a subtle sparkle, not flashy, but full of meaning. Love. The kind of shine that doesn’t scream for attention but, the type that draws eyes to it.

“You did good.” Robby put his hand on Jacks shoulder. “Really good brother.”

You lost track of time as everyone was gathering in conversation. Almost everyone had left for the night already.

You saw Langdon standing off to the side and walked up to him. 

“So you did know huh?”

“Of course I did.” He nudged your arm, “Make sure you ask him about that note he put back in his pocket. You’re going to want to hear it.”

“I will. So, who are you going to be bringing to our wedding?”

He glanced down at you with a slight smile. “Mel.”

You started jumping up and down. Almost as excited as you were just earlier. “Oh my fucking god! I know it! I knew it this whole time!”

“Yeah I knew that you knew. That’s why I never explicitly said it.”

“Langdon, oh my god. I’m so happy for you two! She’s so good for you!”

“Trust me, I know.” He looked over at her smiling. “You’re not mad that I didn’t tell you about any of this? Or about her?

“I’ll never be mad at you Langdon. Jack might be my person but, you’ll always be my best friend."

“I’ll take second place I guess.”

“Mind if I steal her away for a moment?” Robby came up from behind him and put his hands on his shoulder.

“She’s all yours Robby.”

“You knew about all of it huh?” You glared over at him. 

“He unfortunately tells me everything.” You two laughed. “But on a more serious note you both deserve all the love in the world, and I can’t think of any two people better suited for each other. Watching this chapter of your lives has been a pleasure and I’m excited to see what comes next for you two.”

“Thank you Robby. It really means the world coming from you. I’ll always appreciate you and everything you do for us both.”

Jack and Collins came up to you two.

“Let the man have some time with his fiancé, Robby.” Said Collins while intertwining her arm into Robby’s.

“Uh fine. Congratulations to you both again! Excited already for the wedding.”

You exchanged hugs with them and they were off. 

“You put the sweater back on?” Jack looked down at you. 

“Makes me feel like I’m wrapped in your arms. And there’s no safer place in the world Jack.”

“Come on, let me get my fiancé home.” Jack winked and wrapped his arm around you. 

You grabbed your flowers off the bench before realizing that all the flower petal and lights were gone.

“Dana picked them up, gonna get them back Monday night. Could use them at the wedding for something.”

“Jack.”

“Yeah?”

There’s a short silence, just looking at each other. The mood shifts more tender, more intense. 

You put your hands onto his chest before crashing your lips into his. Hard. Lips moving rhythmically around each others. Desperate, aching, like you’ve both been holding your breath for years waiting for this moment. 

When suddenly you feel water dripping onto your face. It’s starting to rain.

“Could not have planned that out better if I tried.” Jack laughed. 

The walk back to the car was peaceful. Just you two in each other arms. The way it’s supposed to be. Rain falling around you.

Streetlights flash across the windshield. The silence is heavy. The tension during the car right home could be cut with a knife. He kept his left hand on the steering wheel and his right hand in yours softly caressing your thumb. Every chance he got he glanced over at you.

The ring still shines faintly as his hand is in yours. Rain tapping lightly on the windshield.

“Do we think the rain is good luck?”

“Maybe it’ll rain on our wedding day too.” You turned your head to see him smiling softly. “So fiancé, you got anything else special planned for tonight?”

“I could tell you or I could show you.”

The tension from the drive followed you too all the way upstairs. It didn’t snap, it deepened, filling the empty space all around you.

As soon as the elevator doors closed, he immediately turned around. His hands wrapped around your neck as your hands went up to his chest. He pinned you against the wall as his lips crashed into yours. Tongues swirling in each other mouths. Moans filled the elevator until the ding that you had arrived to your floor. He quickly pulled himself off of you. 

He pulled away breathless, panting already, he ran his hands through his silver curls. 

“Fu- fuck, let’s go before I rip your clothes off right here.”

As soon as you both stepped off the elevator, he stopped. 

“I can’t believe that I get to marry my best friend.” 

“Thought Robby was your best friend?”

“Oh you beat him for that title within a week of us meeting. Now come on, I got to give my fiancé what she deserves.”

He wrapped his arms all the way around you and threw you over his shoulder. You kicked your feet up into the air. 

“Oh my god, fucking finally! Yes!”

He carried you down the hall to the apartment door, fighting with the keys in his pants pocket to get into the apartment as quickly as he possibly could. Finally behind closed doors.

Before you know it his jacket hits the floor, shoes kicked off lazily, fingers tracing familiar lines around each other bodies Every movement is slow and deliberate, not just passion, but raw intimacy. The kind that screams, I want all of you and I’m not going anywhere.

“God you look so fucking good in this dress but, I need you out of it right now. Fuck”

He grabbed your hand and lead you into the bedroom. 

“Let me see what I’ve been missing out on.”

He pulled your body against his as his hands slid behind you untying the dress, never breaking eye contact. He gently pulled the straps on your shoulders down around your arms. Underneath a surprise. 

Not only did you go and buy him a gift earlier that week, you stopped at the lingerie store to pick up something extra special. A red set. Lace. Tightly wrapped all around your body. 

He trailed his fingers down the fabric on your stomach. “Fuck, you’re driving me insane already babygirl.” You watched his eyes roam your body, up and down as you unbuttoned his shirt, getting down to his belt buckle.

Hands went to your waist, pushing you back against the bed. Wrapped his arms around you, lifted you up, and threw you down onto the bed. His eyes went dark. He was starving for something only you could give him.

He stood at the edge of the bed, undid his own belt, pulling his pants off in a hurry. Tight black briefs that showed his excitement. He ripped off his socks before crawling on top of you. 

Fingers tracing every inch of your body. You squirmed under his touch. 

As he came face to face with you, you whispered, “Take me.” 

He hand slid effortlessly underneath you, untying your lingerie. Sliding in fully off your body as if he’s done it a million times before.

He lightly kissed you before making his way down around your neck as his hand began to explore your body. You felt his hand on your stomach, instinctually, you open your legs for him. 

“That’s my good girl.” You threw your head back letting a soft moan leave you as he sucked on your collarbone. You felt his hand go lower. 

“Jesus fucking christ, so wet for me already. He growls lowly, the possessive need in him taking over him completely. 

“Been waiting for you all night.” You panted out. 

“Is that right?” He didn’t hesitate, his middle finger was inside of you. 

“Oh fu-fuck Jack. Please.”

“Patience my sweet girl. You’ll get what you need soon enough.”, He leaned into your ear, “We’re going to do this how I say. You’re going to finish on fingers, then on my tongue, then we’re going to finish together.”

His fingers slid easily through your juices as he began sucking on your breasts. Gently biting your nipples. Fingers curled inside of you while his thumb did circles around your clit. The sensation of his breath against your skin made your head spin, the anticipation building as he curved his finger into you, finding that spot that drove you wild. 

Before you knew it, another finger was inside of you. The sounds of your wet pussy filled the room. He knew exactly what spot to hit each time. 

“Ja- Jack, I’m gonna, I’m gonna-“

“Give it to me babygirl. Cum on my fingers.”

You arched your back as your legs began to shake under the pleasure. There were sounds leaving your body you didn’t know you could make. 

“There we go, that’s my girl.”

You let go completely. A wave of pleasure took over your entire body. Your first of many orgasms tonight. His fingers still inside of you, slowly moving. 

“Gotta taste her now.”

“Fuck Jack, ju- just give me a second.” Legs still trembling, you struggled to catch your breath. You covered your face with both hands. Embarrassed that you were already struggling to keep up with him. 

“Damn you missed me that much huh?”

You didn’t respond.

“Are you alright?”

“Fuck I can’t believe I can’t keep up with you and your like twice my age.” You laughed. 

He grabbed both arms off of you dragging them to your sides before wrapping his left hand around your neck. His veins in his hand bludging out. You look down to see his new gold watch. What a good idea. 

“First of all, I’m not twice your age. Second, I know what my girl needs and how to give it to her.”

You glared up at him, chain dangling right in front of your face. You bite your lip and said, “Oh god, just shut up already and clean the mess you made.”

“Anything for you sweetheart.”

Before you knew it, he was leaving a trail of saliva down your body. Kissing every inch of your body. “You want this?”

You grab his hair and pushed him down into your cunt. His lips latched onto your clit, sucking hard, sending a jolt of electricity through your body. Your fingers tangled in his sliver hair, gripping tightly as your legs trembled, and he groaned again into you, the vibration making you whimper.

"God, I could stay here forever.”, He mumbled against you. “This pussy is all mine tonight. You feel that? You hear that? This pussy's mine."

You could hear slurping sounds as he devoured you, his mouth greedy and desperate as if he’d been starving for this moment forever. Your breath came out in gasps, moans, your whole body burning under his relentless attention to you and your ever need and desire. 

Your body began to pull back from him. He reached up and grabbed your hands, pulling you back into him. 

“Where do you think you’re going sweetheart?”

“Fucking hell, Jack, ah Jack!” You wrapped your legs around his body. “Oh my god!”

Once again, he sent an orgasm crashing through your entire body. Leaving you gasping for air as he crawled back up to you to admire his work. 

“Come here, want you to taste yourself for me.”

He crashed his lips onto yours, shoving his tongue all the way into the back of your throat. 

He pulled off of you, “You need a second before we keep going?”

“No but, you’re going to when I finish with you.”

You pushed him off of you and onto his back. You leaned in, brushing your hand softly, over the strain in his briefs, the curve of seven-and-a-half inches compacted against the fabric of his briefs. 

“Lets get rid of these.” You pulled his briefs down to see his cock springing out, slapping against his stomach. You were drooling for him. 

You grab him with one hand and spit on it. Rubbing your saliva up and down his already throbbing cock.You kiss the tip before sucking on his head. 

“Just like that sweetheart, keep going for me.” Seeing Jack beg was a rare occurrence and you were eating it up. “Fu- fuck, oh god please.”

You pulled your mouth off and grabbed his cock with your hands, feeling every vein in him pulse against you. 

“You gonna finish for me baby?”

He grabbed all your hair in one hand. “Put me back in your mouth right now and I’ll show you.”

You moaned onto his member, fighting the urge to swallow him whole and suck every last drop of his cum out of his cock. You brought your hand to his balls, gently squeezing them, making him push himself further down your throat.

“Sh-shit, I’m gonna cum, I’m gonna cum!” He pulled your hair tight, letting out noises that you’ve never heard from him before. He came hard, shooting himself into your mouth. You bobbed your head up and down once more before crawling up to him, his cum dripping from the corner of your mouth dow not your chin. You wiped yourself with your thumb and sucked on your fingers while he watched. 

“You taste so good for me.” 

“Fucking hell babygirl.” 

“Yeah? You need a second?”

“Fuck no.” He flipped you over with no hesitation. Like you were nothing to him. The weight of his body fully on top of you. His sweat mixing with yours.

“Remember, I stopped taking my birth control Jack.”

“I don’t fucking care, I need to feel myself inside of you right now. I’ll go slow,” he promises, lips kissing yours, “You won’t have to worry about a thing babygirl. You just tell me if it’s too much.” Your heart flutters at his words. 

He holds his frame above you, both arms holding himself up around you. You can feel the heat radiating off his body, and you want it closer.

You lift your mouth and kiss him, his tongue licking the insides of your mouth. His hands move down your body, knees digging into the mattress to keep himself steady.

“Tell me you want this.”

“I want you to fuck me Jack. Please. I need you inside of me.”

One hand reached down to grab his cock. He positioned himself at your entrance, slowly sliding just the tip in. Your moans filled the room as he slid further into you. 

In and out. Your body’s syncing up perfectly as he thrusted himself all the way inside of your soaking wet pussy. You dug your nails into his back. You threw your head back, closing your eyes as he pounded himself into you. His balls slapping against you with every thrust. 

He wrapped his hand around your throat once again. “You want me to keep going, you better keep those pretty fucking eyes on me.”

You opened your eyes to find in staring into you. His eyes dark. His chain swinging in front of you, hypnotizing you. 

He leans his head back, almost like he's fighting the orgasm, trying to make the moment last as long as his body will allow. 

“Fuck, baby, you're going to make me cum," he groans.

"Want you to cum, Jack. Want you to fill my pussy," you whine. Your words whimpering, practically begging, music to his ears. 

"You want me to fill you up babygirl?” his hands tighten their grasp around your neck. "You want me to cum inside you?”

“Please Jack, I need it. Put a baby in me," you say, not even thinking twice about it. You need him, all of him.

“You want me to breed you, babygirl? You want me to fill you up and give you a baby?"

As your whimpers gets louder he takes your hand and guides to your lower belly, pressing together with his hand on the place where his tip bulges from inside of you.

“Ah, fuck babygirl, come on, cum with me.” 

“Ja-Jack, oh god!”

He fall onto your body, his thrust became sloppy as he groaned into your ear. His breath hot against your flesh.

With his last thrust, he gently kissed your lips. “You’re so good to me babygirl. There you go, so glad I finally got to cum inside you”, he places a kiss on your forehead. “Think I’m going to have to start working out more to keep up with you babygirl.”

“Wish you could just stay inside of me forever.”

“I’m sure we could arrange that.” He laughed. 

He sucked on your neck some more while you could feel his cock soften inside of you. He finally pulled himself out of you. He lowered his hand and put it on your cunt. 

“Wanna keep her full. Don’t want you to ever forget how she feels with me swimming inside of her.” He dragged the dripping cum back up before putting a finger inside you once more. You let out a loud moan before he pulled out of you. 

He threw his body next to yours and let out a sigh. “Jack, I don’t think I can even walk right now. Trust me you don’t have to worry about me forgetting who I belong to.”

“I thought about this since the last moment we were in bed together. Guess all that waiting was good for something.”

“You could let the do all the work next time, you know?”

“You got a deal babygirl. Shit, I would’ve proposed a long time ago if I knew I was going to get the best sex of my life out of it.”

You crawled onto him, resting your head on his bare chest. 

“You know, not to ruin the mood or anything but, Langdon mentioned the paper you shoved back into your pocket earlier. Don’t know if you want me to read it.”

“Yeah I figured he would.”

“So are you gonna let me read it? Is it the same thing you said tonight or?”

“Well yes and no. It’s not technically a proposal written on there. Might actually be better if you read it the day we get married.”

“You want me to wait until the day of our wedding to read it?”

“I mean, I’ll hide it if you don’t trust yourself to not read it. But please, for the love of god, don’t go around asking what’s in it.”

“No, it’s okay, I think I’m starting to like surprises now.” You laughed. 

With his crooked smile, he said, “I love you.”

“I love you too Jack. Until the end.”

———————————————————————

Six Weeks Later

You’d be feeling off the past few weeks. You chalked it up to the stress of realizing you were going to have to plan out a whole wedding while working as a full time night shift attending. And now Jack wants to go house hunting. 

“Hey! You alright in there? We gotta go before we’re late!” Jack knocked on the bathroom door. 

“Jack, I don’t know if I’m going to make it in tonight. Can you come in here please?”

He slowly opened the door, peeking his head around first. You were sitting on the floor against the shower tub next to the toilet. Fully dressed and ready to go to work.

“Jesus Christ, are you alright??” He ran up to you. 

“Well, I just threw up and feel slightly better but, this nausea is just something else right about now.”

“You think you’re alright to be going to work like this?”

“Yeah I think I’ll be fine just need to take some Zofran or something and I should be able to push through. Don’t want you guys to have to work short tonight. I don’t know maybe it was your cooking.”

“You said it was good…”, he sighed as he helped you up off the cold bathroom floor.

“I don’t know just nauseous really. That’s it. This wedding planning is going to give me an ulcer Jack.”

You somehow made it through the entire shift without vomiting on a patient. But by the time handoff came around, you were struggling just to breath. 

Once you were done, you sat at the nurses station in the corner, waiting for Jack. You put your elbows on your knees and your head down into your hands.

“God you look so pale. Don’t go passing out on me now.” He walked up to you. 

“Can you just help me to the bathroom before I throw up all over the floor please?”

He walked you over and as soon as the door was open to the single stalled bathroom, you ran inside. Swinging your arm back to shut the door before he could see you throwing up yet again.

He could hear you in there and immediately followed you inside. “Fucking hell, again. Are you pregnant or something?” 

You glared up at him, “I don’t know but, something’s wrong Jack.”

“Are you late?”

“Jack I don’t know. I’m never even regular. I don’t fucking know.” You looked up at him and wiped the cover of your mouth.

“Hey, hey, hey, calm down, we’ll be okay no matter what’s going on.”

“I think we need to go buy some tests.”

“Shit.” His eyes widening as his jaw practically fell to the floor. 

———————————————————————

Woooo! Chapter 3! Wrote most of this while watching the MET Gala looks and honestly all the hot people make it so much easier to write lol. But I really hope you guys enjoy reading this as much as I loved writing it! Keep an eye out for the next chapter to find out where this one is going! ;) 

Thank you to the like 4 people that asked for more! This one is for you guys!

[thepittdotcom]

Me asking to talk about The Pitt with my mutuals:

[jackabbotsfakeleg]

Dark is The Way, Light is a Place.

Ongoing Series Synopsis: As a board-certified clinical psychologist working at PTMC, you were expecting to see patients of the hospital. But by some twist of fate, you end up seeing several ER doctors for individual therapy. Pairing: Michael "Robby" Robinavitch / Jack Abbot/ Frank Langdon x Psychologist!Reader Genre: Angsty, existential, dark, and sometimes fluffy therapy sessions. A/N: I'm a clinical psychologist so this is a planned series to explore what therapy sessions might look like with some of the Pitt crew. Planned for at least Robby/Abbot/Langdon but open to incorporating others. I hope you enjoy, thank you for reading

Next Chapter

Robby has been in the elevator hundreds of times– transporting patients, rounding with Jack, taking the “long way” to the roof for a much needed shift in perspective. 

But he’s never been to the eleventh floor. This building, this hospital, he knows it like the back of his hand–a second home. But the eleventh floor is foreign to him- Behavioral Health.

There’s a hard rule about the “soft” sciences and the ER– They come to you. Doctors aren’t transporting patients in five-point bed restraints who bite in an elevator. The Psychologists and Psychiatrists come to the ER for the consults, the medication orders, the 72-hour hold evaluations. He’s joked about them before with Jack – bats hanging in the rafters, waiting for the next crisis to swoop in.

And yet, here he is. The eleventh floor, at the eleventh hour. 

Robby hesitates when the elevator dings and the door opens - a moment of apprehension about the inevitable reveal of the skeletons in his closet - It’s not too late to head back downstairs, no one would know you were even here, not even Jack. And he wouldn’t blame you. 

He’s pulled from his thoughts as the elevator doors begin to close, bumping against the outside of his arm. He’s already got one foot out the door- an unconscious step towards finding out where the wild things went. He bites the bullet, and steps out, turning the corner towards room 1122.

—------------------------

“Thanks, Doc,”  Jack opens your office door and steps into the hallway, turning back to confirm, “I’ll see you next week?”

There’s something about the way he wears his sadness -like a badge of honor of all of the things he has survived. His sessions are exhausting and existential. He holds his trauma in his hands and wrings it out like rain. He speaks about death–his own and the people he’s lost. He talks about ending it, in a very matter-of-fact, this-is-what-it-would-feel-like way, and backs away from the ledge when he recognizes that the feeling in his body is actually fear. 

“Same time as usual. But Jack, you fucking call me if you need me,” Your tone is serious and empathetic, a directive for the man who talks about darkness like his soul was forged there, “Dark is the way…”

“Light is a place,” he replies, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath. He repeats the mantra under his breath several times, before turning to walk down the hall. 

You stand to close the door when you’re met with a familiar face, Dr. Robby, waiting outside the door. 

“Michael,  I’m so glad you’re here.”  

He locks eyes with Jack, an unspoken greeting,  like one of the great bromances of the 21st century. For a second, you imagine the two of them hugging, but instead, they acknowledge each other with a nod, Jack reaching out to squeeze Robby’s shoulder, as if to say, “I’m proud of you.” I’m sure they’ll compare horror stories on the roof later. As Jacks walks off you watch Robby’s expression change to something unfamiliar - anxious. He looks over his shoulder, as if he’s making sure no one else saw him come up here, stuffing his hands in the pockets of his hoodie. 

The stark contrast in presentation is unsettling. You’ve seen him work downstairs, confident, calm, collected. Here, he’s softer, uneasy, wounded. Heavy is the head that wears the crown 

“Come on in,” You smile, holding the door open for him to slip past you and into your office. You can hear the audible sigh of relief as the door closes behind him, hands still stuffed in the pockets of his hoodie, “this your first time?”

His back still faces you as he takes in his surroundings, hesitant to sit. He studies the diploma’s hanging on the wall, an exercise in distraction. Maybe if he spends his time pointing out things about you, you’ll run out of time to talk about him.

“On the eleventh floor? Yes.” He points to the certificate on the wall, and finally turns to look at you  “Board certified, huh?” 

He keeps you at arms length, wants to talk about anything but the reason why he’s here. You could make small talk with this man all day, he’s got the bedside manner for it, wears being “just fine” well, with smile lines to prove it, charismatic, attractive, a good guy. 

“I meant therapy, Michael.” 

He nods, sheepishly, “That easy to tell? Although I’m not sure if I should be wasting your time. There are far worse off people than me” 

“Sit.” You motion to the couch, and he initially ignores your command. His attention turns to the sound of staff running past your doorway and down the hall, likely responding to a crisis. Emergencies are his thing, always running to put out a fire, not even recognizing that he too, is engulfed in flames. 

“I’m happy to discuss you ‘wasting my time,’ and the fact that you have had your hands balled up in fists in your pockets since you got here for the next..” you look at your watch, “55 minutes. But not until you sit.” 

This time, it’s a directive. It catches him off guard, the slow recognition that he, for once, is not in control of what happens here. He apologizes, removing his hands from his pockets after your pointed observation, and takes a seat.

You take a seat opposite of him, matching his posture,  “Why don’t you tell me why you’re here.”

“I haven’t been sleeping well” His answer is short and to the point. a real nothing-to-see-here vibe. He folds his arms across his chest, briefly glancing at his watch, “I told you, I’m probably wasting your time.” 

"I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else, than wasting this time with you. Humor me, you’ve got my full undivided confidential attention.” 

He inhales and rubs a hand over his neck, avoiding eye contact with you, “Found myself on the roof like Jack.”

There it is.

“I really need to start having office hours up there.” You lighten the mood, before diving back in, “Okay, you’re on the roof, then what happens? You get close enough to the edge to think about jumping?”

“Jesus, no.” He retorts, like the thought of diving off the roof is the most outlandish shit he’s heard all day. Not Robby. Not cool, calm, collected Robby. He’d never do something like that. Right?

“Therapy only works if you’re honest with yourself. We’ve all thought about jumping, Michael. doesn’t mean you intended to.”

“Touche,” He’s still trying to feel out the process, unsure of how safe of a place this is.

“Let me show you something,” You turn to your desk, rummaging through a disheveled pile of papers, for a blank sheet of paper. On it, you scribble a mantra, handing it to him.

“Dark is the Way, Light is a Place.” He says it aloud, slowly, eyebrow raised, looking to you for an explanation.

“It’s from a poem by Dylan Thomas.” You explain, “The gist is that there’s going to be so much pain in this lifetime, but that doesn’t mean it is not worth losing a single moment of it, because at the end of the day, there is going to be hope. But I need you to dig deep into that pain, anchor yourself there, let me sit in it with you.” 

You can see him at a crossroads in his head. Choose to make this all about sleeping and surface level bullshit and leave with his sanity and some semblance of wellbeing, or bare his soul to someone he’s just met, to anchor himself in the pain, to share it and reveal what’s hidden in the darkest places of his mind, and leave with his soul wide open, exposed, and raw, with the promise of an eventual catharsis.  He chooses the latter. 

“For the first time in my career, I didn’t want to come back here” his voice cracks, “I felt like I was drowning. I couldn’t pull myself out of it. For days, I felt this sense of darkness, this hopelessness.”

“You felt scared” you reflect, but he shakes his head silently for a few seconds, drawing a deep breath in before continuing.

“Being on the roof, wondering what it would feel like at the bottom, Fuck. I felt at peace with that.”

He watches your face when he says it, looks for you to flinch, or your eyes to widen. He waits for the recoil, for you to hit a panic button. You maintain eye contact, softening your expression, sitting with his words.

“That must have been really hard, and really hard to share. I’m really proud of you for allowing me to sit with you, with this.” 

“Dark is the Way, Light is a Place.” He repeats, and for the first time in a long time, he feels proud of himself too. 

[weakling-grace]

Incorrect The Pitt quotes 2/?

[sebsbarnes]

one's we have lost

dr. frank langdon x f doctor!reader

summary: for now, we can sit here. we can cry, we can shout, we can be silent. i am here until you tell me to go.

warnings: mentions of patient death (child), aggression towards medical staff, self-doubt, angst, grammar errors, cliches, cursing

word count: 1k+

a/n: no established relationship but its there! yeaah this show i cant even begin to explain my love. a shorty bc im in the middle of writing a longer story for langdon

your hearing was minimized to a buzzing noise, you couldn’t compute the commotion of the ER around you but in the far corner of your mind, the echos of the parents cry sounded. it was but a few steps from the door frame of the quiet room where the news just broke that a roaring sound ripped you from the static.

“you fucking did this! she is gone because of you. you’re a fucking doctor, you’re meant to save lives and now i’ll never hear my baby call out to me or-or celebrate holidays or fuck, her sixth birthday,” the grieving father screamed, his figure looming over you, his hand gripped tightly to your shoulder, “you should be ashamed to call yourself a doctor.”

there was nothing you could say to amend the situation, but truthfully, you said nothing because you believed him. you couldn’t save the little girl. the ongoing doubts about your skill set were now reaffirmed by the mourning father. it was moments before you realized security had pulled him away from your face, his finger pointed so close to you it ghosted your nose.

voices sounded from all around you but you couldn’t comprehend what syllables your coworkers were stringing together to comfort you. with your body numb from the shift and imposter syndrome setting in, you aimlessly pushed past everyone without a word and wandered until you reached a stairwell multiple flights up from the emergency department.

you slammed the side of your fists into the wall as the numbness faded and the anger, sadness, and pain took place. the little girl's face played in your mind, the repeated visits she had to the emergency room due to a chronic condition. each time she came that tiny voice of hers pleaded to see you. she trusted you each time yet in the end you failed her.

back in the emergency department langdon had exited one of the trauma rooms as the patient was rushed up to surgery. he trudged over to the nurses station searching for his hours-old red bull in hopes of a pick me up. immediately langdon could tell there was a shift in energy in the department. some nurses were whispering, others quietly documenting notes, robby was in a hushed but serious conversation with the security guards.

"hey langdon," dana sighed offering a thin-lipped smile.

"what's going on out here? did i miss something, everyone seems a bit...uh, off," he questioned.

dana's mouth morphed into a frown, "the little girl passed, the smith family that is always here. the dad became angry and started attac-"

"where is she?" langdon cut dana off immediately knowing you were the one who was with the girl.

dana could only offer a shoulder shrug, "she walked off after security took the father away."

"shit," he muttered as he dropped the redbull on the desk and stalked off towards a familiar spot.

footsteps echoed their way towards you and in a measly attempt to hide your face you placed your forehead to your knees, "look gloria, i don't want to fill out any statements or paperwork."

"i didn't know i gave off a managerial presence but i'll consider that for the future."

you peeked your eyes open to see two shoes in front of your own feet. letting out a deep breath you picked your head up and looked at langdon's figure standing above you.

"respectfully, you should never consider it, i don't think you're cut out for a position like that," you attempted to joke back, blinking away threatening tears and clearing your scratchy throat.

langdon shared the wall with you as he slid down to the floor, his shoulder bumping into yours and his legs outstretched beside your own. you didn't need to look at langdon to know his eyes were boring holes into you. for the moment, it was nice to not be alone. hearing his light breathing and the sound of his scrubs rubbing together distracted you from the thoughts clouding your mind. the small voices of the patients you've lost telling you to walk out of the hospital and never return. that you're wasting your time and doing more harm than good.

"look, i-" langdon hesitated, "i am so sorry."

your head dropped back against the wall, eyes looking to the ceiling, "it's all my fault, he is right. why the fuck am i a doctor? she was five langdon, five. i couldn't save her and she is gone because of me, because of my shortcomings, because my failure of knowledge," you ranted with a wobbly voice.

langdon winced at your words. he has found himself repeating those same sentences to himself in the mirror when he's had a horrible shift. a sentiment that most doctors langdon knows have battled with. the weight of every right and wrong choice lingering with you until the end of time.

langdon whispered your name to grab your attention. he softly grabbed your hands, careful not to startle you in this vulnerable state, "every patient we cannot fix, every moment we cannot fix will sit with us, forever. it will sit with you forever, i know it and i know you well enough. this job can be brutal and unfair but it can also be so fulfilling."

"i know," you whispered finally looking to him. langdon's face etched with concern. the pad of his thumb dusting off a rolling tear.

he continued, "i have never met someone so dedicated to their job. not only do you fight for your patients but you also fight for your coworkers...for me. you are a rarity. you are a doctor because your heart is in the right place and you strive to make a difference. losing patients is going to be a given no matter how good we are, it's the nature of the job. but, you cannot give up."

a weak and shaky smile graced your face. you looked to the man beside you appreciative of his words that were not laced with humor but with shared understanding and respect. delicately you cupped his cheek, "thank you, langdon."

"i will be here for you, always. an-and, i need you...i cannot walk through these doors every shift knowing you won't be here. we have each other, okay?"

you blinked away the fast-approaching tears and nodded softly to him. langdon wrapped an arm around your shoulder allowing you to nestle into his side.

"for now, we can sit here. we can cry, we can shout, we can be silent. i am here until you tell me to go."

[dreammfyre]

rivermind ⊹ ࣪ ˖ frank langdon

SUMMARY. You are the first year intern, since you arrived Frank became your mentor. He had taught you how to handle yourself in that place, he had taught you how good the adrenaline felt when time was your worst enemy in the ER. After a while you had become his favorite intern, the one he looked for when he came on shift and the only one he said goodbye to, hoping to see you again tomorrow. You had quickly become accustomed to his presence, until your relationship began to distort. You felt his gaze from across the room, you began to smile at him when they exchanged glances and to feel that strange tingling sensation when he was near you. Had become a fucking fool when he congratulated you thinking about him when you went home, making up and styling your hair up a little more to look better when Dr. Langdon saw you. You were losing your cool imagining that maybe he was noticing you.

WARNIGS. +18, age gap, blood, domination, cheating.

The day turned into fucking chaos, that was the magic of ER. Anyone entering would not understand anything, nurses, doctors, interns, medical students, paramedics and police running from side to side. Screams that you could not understand, stretchers crossed their path, you tried to run, you knew it was not right to do so, however, everything was a mess without head or feet. Wounded people kept arriving, you had lost all notion of time, you forgot the last time you ate something and you had no idea how many hours you slept. The shooting, the cries, the heart-rending screams of pain, all mixed up in your head. The robe you were wearing was soaked with blood as were your gloves and slippers.

You had to get to the O-blood bags, which were in short supply due to the number of patients, so your steps were hurried, you almost ran but you passed so many people that you would end up hitting someone. You clutched the bags in your arms knowing that lives depended on it, the doors wouldn't close and every second a new patient was coming in. You turned around at the nurses' station looking for Dr. Abbot or Dr. Robby, but for some reason your vision began to blur, you spun on your heels breathing harder not finding them in the middle of the room.

Three. Three patients you had lost this day and the wounded kept coming in.

"Shit." You whispered clutching the blood bags to your body. Your heart was pounding, you felt your arms weak not knowing where to turn, you didn't realize when your body collided with someone, you fell to the floor slipping on a trail of blood.

"Damn." Frank did not lose his balance as you did, seeing you fall in the front row. He didn't hesitate a second to grab you by both arms and with a strength he wasn't used to using pulled you to your feet. "Are you okay?" he sweated, his messy hair falling over his forehead.

The only thought hovering in your head is that you are useless.

You were not able to respond. Your concentration was on reaching your destination, you didn't even look at Dr. Langdon, your hands were shaking trying to grab the scattered blood bags, luckily none of them broke. Frank wasn't stupid and noticed you were in trouble so he decided to help you, you closed your eyes tightly feeling an uncomfortable beeping and your head explode, more screaming and crying, the memory of the mother crying for her daughter was still there, but you had to keep going even though you didn't know how to do it. You swallowed saliva with such difficulty that it hurt, your throat burned, you felt you didn't remember how to breathe, your head was empty of any medical knowledge. You looked around feeling like a stranger, a look Langdon recognized instantly.

"Holy crap, give me this." He took the bags from you roughly and passed them to the first person who crossed his path. "Take them to the red zone, now!"

Dennis Whitaker, who was passing by looking for supplies until he was surprised by the order, was not even able to say no, much less to a resident. Frank grabbed you by the wrist taking you to the nearest bathroom, they couldn't go out to the parking lot or to the ambulance entrance to get some air because chaos was everywhere.

You stopped thinking for a moment, you were breathing less and less, your chest hurt and you couldn't stop thinking that you should have insisted a little more. Langdon opened the door and without losing his manners forced you to enter first pushing you by the shoulder, at first you denied willing to return to the action, however, Frank grabbed your arm preventing you from leaving. When you entered the bathroom it was no surprise that it was empty, of course, everyone was busy saving lives and you were falling into your own hell where life seemed to be passing you by. And that made you feel worse.

"Breathe." His voice seemed far away.

You looked at yourself in the mirror and a couple of tears appeared under the protective lenses. Your gown filled with blood, you looked scared as did the latex gloves dyed red.

"I can't." You gasped with difficulty, most frustratingly, you were trying, you really were, but it felt like your throat closed up and you were going to die. "It's... no. I can't."

Frank sighed, even he didn't know why he was there, with a terrified first year resident when he could be in the action zone like he liked. He put his glasses on over his head to get a better look at you and did the same to you, you wouldn't stand still, your bottom lip quivering and in your eyes the horror of having fought against death losing in the attempt.

"Yes you can." He had to take off his gloves to grab your face, pulling them to the floor. "Do it with me. Inhale."

You obeyed, your gaze focused on his like an anchor to reality, kept you had never seen such blue eyes in your life.

"Hold it." Your chin was shaking as were your hands, you were in a cold sweat, you thought you had lost control of your own body. Frank was doing the same, he too needed a second to breathe but his heart couldn't calm down with that accidental closeness. You were an exceptional resident, you hadn't given him any trouble, on the contrary, he had learned more from you than you had from him. "You're doing fine, honey."

Honey.

You could have another panic attack right there.

"Breathe out." He whispered lowering his voice molding his fingers to the shape of your face pressing his fingertips into your hot cheeks. You closed your eyes letting the air out of your lungs slowly, the warm air hitting Langdon's face who felt a shiver go down his back at that breath of a mixture of coffee and mint, an indescribable sensation far better than the adrenaline coursing through his veins. "That's it. Again."

His voice guided you through the instructions, his hands never leaving your face in any instant as a touch kept you in reality.

"They just keep coming." You said in a whisper, it was as if he could fix all your problems, and Frank was willing to listen to every word. "Almost eighty people..." you felt that encroaching grief in your chest again. They were too many patients and you just collapsed.

"I know. You're doing fine." He lowered his hands to your shoulders. "They'll keep coming, I swear they'll stop at some point. It's horrifying, but you can make a difference, they need you. I need you."

Your head was a jumble of thoughts, adrenaline and you felt like the world hated you, even you hated yourself in that instant, but not him. Frank was still looking at you genuinely worried, waiting for you to recover enough to be sure you were okay, his hands on your shoulder and the other on your neck, you felt like your heart was going to burst out of your mouth at any moment in that silence. You lowered your eyes to his half-open, chapped lips almost as an involuntary reflex, your breath hitching along with your brain warning that you were about to do something stupid that you were going to regret forever. If anyone asked, you weren't thinking clearly, you had no idea what you were about to do.

Fuck it.

You didn't have to step forward because you were so close to his face that you only leaned in close enough to reach his mouth in an awkward movement at first. You stood on your tiptoes to reach her lips bringing them together with your own in a sudden and unexpected brush. It felt strange, wrong and uncomfortable. Immediately, Frank grabbed your shoulders pulling you away without understanding anything that was happening to you, he slammed your back against the ceramic wall as if your lips had burned him. His thick brows furrowed trying to formulate his only reaction.

"What the fuck are you doing?" his annoyed voice made you realize how wrong he was. Shit, you felt so small and stupid in front of him that you could disappear in that instant and forget about your impulsive career. You had no idea what to say to him.

If you tried to explain it you would end up drowning in your words. Langdon's heavy breathing made you more nervous because he was waiting for a justification from you, the seconds felt eternal, you were not able to hold his gaze. You had confused everything, his words, the smiles he gave you from across the room, or when he gathered the strands of your hair behind your ear. He remembered the things you said to him and chased you down the halls to be with you. It seemed to be all in your head.

You were stupid all this time imagining you were special.

"I'm sorry." It was the only thing that came out of you, you looked embarrassed, your cheeks red and your innocent look unraveling on him. Langdon's frown reflected his confusion amidst surprise, his head had been emptied of any thoughts hovering in his head, on the other side of the door the hospital was having the most chaotic day, but Frank was speechless. He never imagined you would go so far as to do that, to kiss him, to dare to cross the boundaries by breaking the tension you both created. Maybe that was the reason Langdon was still obsessed with you, because he would never weigh anything. Well, he thought so until a few minutes ago. "I didn't mean to..."

"What?" you asked cocking your head to the side.

You looked at the ceiling wondering to yourself how the fuck you were able to get yourself into bigger and bigger trouble. Kissing your mentor is leading the list.

Frank kept analyzing your every reaction.

"It's my fault...I thought-"

He didn't let you finish the sentence tired of your constant apologies. His lips on yours took you by surprise leaving you in silence in a second, a different warmth, it seems that he had also left aside any trace of logic and fell into the temptation to get rid of the urge once and for all. It could be the adrenaline of the moment coursing through your veins that made Frank Langdon's body corner you without letting go, it took you a moment to realize what was really happening. You closed your eyes, running your hands down his neck brushing against his skin. You felt his hands cling to your hips anchoring themselves to your skin.

"Damn." Langdon whispered looking at you in the most intense way you had ever imagined he was capable of. His blue eyes became two dark orbs on you, your ragged breathing exciting him like never before, he swallowed saliva without peeling his attention from your lips half-open for him. He only took a moment to contemplate your flushed face and your chest rising and falling at a rapid pace. Before you thought he was relating to a hospital student, he returned to your mouth like two oppositely charged magnets, this time you leaned back against the wall letting Frank take control, it was always like that, he called the shots and you obeyed.

You were getting more and more confused, but at that very moment you didn't want to know.

A growl came from his throat as his hand settled around your neck similar to a necklace made of his fingers. The violent touch felt exquisite. His hands intertwined with your hair pulling your head back tightening his possessive grip on you. He carried the rhythm, he had absolute control over your entire body playing with your tongue against his forgetting the wedding ring decorating his hand. He was weak to his pleasures and you became his newest secret, now he couldn't stop tasting, tasting you.

Your hands went up to his hair unleashing a need inside him that he didn't know was still there. His hand went down your back taking advantage of running the curve over your ass, with two fingers he found the elastic of your pants sneaking into your clothes with incredible ease, it didn't take him a second to squeeze it tightly. Instantly you stifled a moan in his mouth that did nothing but make him hard, he repeated it again only to hear you gasp against him. You inadvertently left a scratch on his neck, Frank didn't notice, he was too excited with you in his hands. Squeezing you without care to leave his prints marked on your skin.

It was a couple of seconds of ephemeral pleasure until a scream from outside brought you back to harsh reality.

"Into the red zone!"

Immediately your mouths stopped moving. He pulled his hand out of your pants, Frank took a couple of steps away with an almost horrified expression on his face. You opened your mouth unable to formulate any words still with his taste on your lips, you understood how wrong everything was between you. Langdon, clumsy as ever and nervous only when you looked at him, picked up the glasses from the floor fighting his involuntary movements. For your part you didn't know what to do, did you have to say anything? You had kissed your resident in charge, the one you saw every day for twelve hours, the one you felt most comfortable with in the entire hospital, and finished passing a line.

"Dr. Langdon, I-"

"We have to get back to work." He hurried to look in the mirror fixing his mouth, wiping away any traces of your fresh saliva as evidence of his impulsiveness. When he noticed the marks on his neck he took a deep breath in frustration, he wasn't going to yell at you, he could never do that, but he was going to get in trouble if he didn't come up with a good excuse to justify the marks on your fingernails. "Shit."

You nodded several times, nervously, convincing yourself to ignore him, as if that were possible. Always obedient when he told you what to do. In the end, he was right, he is always right, you had to return to save lives to that endless battle against the unexpected. However, you touched your cheeks, they burned and were so red that they ended up giving you away without the need to tell a lie.

You made your way to the door with slow but sure steps, before opening it, Frank called out to you one last time.

"Wait." He ran to you, again. With his fingers he arranged the strands of your tousled hair, tidying up your appearance to that adorable intern who came in excited the first time. That look that ended up driving him crazy every time you spoke to him. "There you go."

You sighed. Now you didn't know if you hated it when he did that because it only ended up confusing you. Unfortunately he was always going to be in control, Langdon would decide every place and time, every kiss, every caress, every moan and your pleasure would be in his hands.

"Thank you, Doctor." You replied so innocently, he felt his body beg him to please make you his once and for all.

He couldn't, he was a married man who owed fidelity to his wife, but he could no longer resist before you. And now that he had tasted you once he felt he owed you a debt.

You walked out of that place meeting the case head on and the heavy air hit you in the face like a slap in the face that perhaps you deserved. You attended to the first patient that crossed your path returning to the area that Doctor Robby had assigned you, luckily, Frank was not there. You had to survive this shitty shift that was ready to finish you off, without realizing it, you bit your lower lip the same way Langdon had done.

[mind-empty-just-fictional-people]

I need some more mutuals who love The Pitt so if you wanna be friends lmk <3

[weasleysarch]

WARZONE • THE PITT FANFIC

IS AVAILABLE TO READ ON

WATTPAD

SEARCH ‘ sttarkeys ‘

[lc-birdie]

idk I haven't written in years on here...

should I start writing again? I kinda have that inspiration to write again with the pitt but idk if anyone would read it 🤔 also I feel like some of the non main characters besides abbot and robby need some love too (would obviously still write for em)

lemme know ❤️

[storiesaplenty]

“How about I kneel at your alter and you just give me this part of you for now?”

At Your Alter: Frank Langdon x Reader

Tagging: @kmc1989 @julessworldd @yousigned-upforthis @travelingmypassion @julius-ceasar

Summary: You discover Frank's tattoo when you undress him for the first time.

Companion piece to:

Ivy - Frank gets a tattoo to commerate the woman he loves.

Hypocrite - Frank struggles to make amends for a past wrongs.

Crash - Almost getting you fired wasn't the lowest point of Frank's addiction.

Rock Bottom - Frank hits rock bottom when he sees the devastation his addiction's caused.

Little Black Dress - Frank starts to spiral when he realises you're dating.

Every Damn Day - A drunk text leads to a confession.

Wet Dream (NSFW) - Frank sometimes dreams about the life you had together.

War Stories - A realisation about your coping habits leads you to Frank's door.

The Three Cs - Frank and you finally discuss your issues and pave away towards the future.

The Wall - A date at the climbing wall leads to a revelation from Frank.

Commitment��- You create a fun way of showing Frank your commitment to the relationship.

Prequel piece to:

All In (NSFW) - You and Frank take a big step forward.

Slut (NSFW) - Frank gets a little bratty after a bad day.

Nightmare Fuel - Frank’s been waiting for the fall to come.

Boo Fucking Hoo - Your forced to defend yourself after you’re attacked outside the hospital.

Frank has a tattoo, you don’t discover that until you’re undressing him for the first time in your bedroom. Your fingertips hook on the hem of his t-shirt, dragging it up over his head and that’s when you see it, the ivy wreath nestled in the space just above his heart.  

“Oh.” You say, your fingertips tracing over it. “When…”

“After I got sober I didn’t know if I would make it.” He tells you, his palm covering yours, clasping it to his chest. “This tattoo, it got me through some really tough times in the beginning and that’s because of you, because of your strength, your tenacity, your resilience. I remembered all of that everytime I looked in the mirror and I knew that I could be better.”

“Christ.” You murmur, tilting your head up to meet his tempestuous blue gaze. “Rehab really did change you didn’t it?”

“Yea.” He says softly. “It made me see what a selfish asshole I was, that I just kept putting myself first even before the painkillers.”

“Frank…”

“No Ivy I did. I know I did.” He whispers, his forehead coming to rest upon yours. “I’m trying to be the man that you deserve, the one you want to come home to each night. I know we are a long way from there right now but that is where I’m heading. A lifetime worshipping the ground you walk on, kneeling at your alter, giving every single part of myself to you. That’s my endgame.”

“You are making a very compelling argument for that lifetime.” You inform him, your lips brushing over that tattoo on his chest. His breath hitches, his head tipping back as your fingertips unfasten the button of his jeans. You guide the zipper down and the denim slips past his hips as you cup him through his boxer briefs. “How about I kneel at your alter and you just give me this part of you for now?”

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Like My Work? - Why Not Buy Me A Coffee

[science-hoes]

Unholy by Sam Smith/Kim Petras 🤝🏼 Frank Langdon x Reader

Something exciting about feeling his cold wedding band on your burning skin. His phone lighting up with his wife’s name when she calls while he fucks you. The friendship bracelet on his wrist leaving indentions on your thighs.

[leo-in-the-pitt]

Look Out For Her

This is Chapter 1 of the Beginning to End series !

Summary: 4 years later and your almost done with residency. But it feels like your relationship with Jack may be coming to an end too. That is until you’re hurt and he has to come to your rescue, that he reveals his true feelings for you.

Warnings: Established relationship, implied age gap, strong language, sexual assault, mentions of alcohol, possessiveness, mostly fluff

This is a Chapter 1! 2 more already posted !! 3rd in the works !

———————————————————————

You were 9 months into your 4th and final year of ER residency. 3 more months to go. Somehow still learning the ropes of being cheif resident. It wasn’t easy to have the respect of your fellow co-residents and interns when you were in a relationship with Dr. Jack Abbott, an ER attending but, he made it worth it. Most of the time at least.

Getting to this point in your relationship wasn’t always easy in anyway. What started as hook ups, turned into arguements during every shift you worked together until you cut it off. But when 3rd year came around, you guys got close again, he let you in and you let him in.

One year and eight months. In your mind, this was the start of forever. At least that’s what you thought.

For the past month though, Abbotts been distant and you didn’t understand why. Picking up shifts on the days you were both off, date nights were becoming a rarity, bailing on nights out with your friends.

You moved in with him 6 months into the relationship. Everyone told you it was quick but, it felt like the right decision at the time.

You woke up early while he was still at work to go pick up breakfast from his favorite spot downtown. Got home made your famous homemade peanut butter cookies that he loved. Had his favorite movies lined up, ready to play. Even put on lingerie under your clothes, ready for whatever he wanted.

You heard keys in the door and were excited for him to see what was waiting for him.

There he was. Silver curls. Black scrubs. Go-bag over one shoulder. You could look at him forever.

“There’s my favorite guy.” You ran up to him to give him a hg and kiss.

He hugged you back but, swerved his head ever so slightly when you went in to kiss him.

“Did I do something wrong?”

“Just had a long night. Not really in the mood for anything.”

“I planned out quite the morning for us.” You smiled at him.

“Think I’m just gonna go hop in the shower then head to bed for a little bit.” He started to walk away.

You quickly turned around to him. “Okay, no, what is your problem? Did I do something? Cause for the past month you’ve been acting cold. Blowing me off ever chance you get.”

He stopped in his tracks and slowly turned to face you. He looked pissed. You’d only ever seen him angry like that once during a stupid fight you guys had at the beginning of the relationship.

“You left your laptop open.”

“Okay and? I’m I supposed to know what that means?”

“Were you going to tell me that you have a bunch of interviews for attending jobs at other hospitals? Or were you just going to tell me you were leaving one day?”

“Jack everyone goes to multiple interviews. You literally did the same when you were in my position.”

“One of those is across the country.”, he paused, “Were you gonna pack up and fly over there without telling me?”

“Thought maybe you could come with me and we could make a trip out of it actually.”

He put his head in his hands. “Do you want to leave?” His voice cracked.

“What? Why would I want to leave you Jack? I literally have an interview with Robby in 2 weeks for a spot here. I’m just trying to see what else is out there too.”

“But you have everything you could need right here! Why do you wanna give it all up!He raised his voice at you.”

You took a step back.

“Don’t yell at me.” You felt your breathing become faster, chest heavy.

“Why would you not tell me? This is something we should be talking about together. This isn’t just about you.”

“And it’s not just about you. It’s my future Jack. My career we’re talking about.” You said sternly.

“So where do I fit into that future then?”

You didn’t know how to answer. “You know I love you.”

“I sense a but coming here.”

You took a deep breath. “But there’s an emergency medicine research fellowship in California. They’re really interested in me Jack. Like really interested.”

“Sounds like you made up your mind already.” He walked away and went into the bedroom.

“Jack please. I didn’t say yes to anything yet. I still have to go over there and meet with them. I might end up hating it.”

He was throwing clothes into his go-bag. You grabbed his arm and he swiftly pulled away.

“So that’s it? You’re just going to leave? Where are you even going?”

He held both hands up in the air. “I just need some air.”

“When are you coming back?”

“I don’t know. I- I just can’t do this with you right now.”

“So if not now, then when. Jack. Come on we talked about this. Never leave mad at each other.”

“I’m not mad.”, he looked down at you, “Just disappointed.”

He grabbed his bag and walked out of the room. You felt the tears start to run down your face.

“Jack please.” You begged.

You heard him pick his keys up off the table and door slam closed behind him.

You broke. Tears streaming down your face. You sat on the edge of the bed, head in hands. Your reached into your pocket for your phone and tried to call him.

Once. Twice. Three times with no answer. Straight to voicemail.

You laid in bed, crying. Eyes already swelling. After went felt like an eternity, you fell asleep.

You woke to the sound of a text message.

Please be Jack.

It wasn’t. Just Langdon.

He knew you were planning Jacks favorites for the morning and wanted to know how it went. You typed out as much of what just happened as you could. He called immediately.

He could hear you crying again.

“Hey, hey, hey, it’s okay, you’re okay.”

“Frank, I- I don’t know what to do. I don’t know where he went. He turned his location off. He won’t answer my calls or texts. I just wanna know that he’s okay.” You voice broke as you tried to get the words out.

“Hey look I’m just gonna come over okay?” Gimme like 20 minutes, I’ll be right there. Please just hold on.”

“Okay.” He hung up.

You got out of bed and threw on one of Jacks sweaters. Beers of the Burgh. Him and Robby went together every year. You hated beer so you never went, just let them have their special guy time.

You went into the bathroom and saw how bloodshot your eyes had become. Splashed some water on your face and went into the living room.

Almost exactly 20 minutes later. A knock on your front door. Langdon.

You opened the door.

“Hey kid.” He always called you could since the first day you met even though he was only 4 years older.

Tears again. You almost fell to the floor. He caught you and lifted you up.

“It’s okay, it’s okay, I got you.”

He walked you into the kitchen, had you sit at one of the bar stools and went to get you a glass of water. He knew his way around. Afterall he did help you move in and came over often for movie nights when Jack was at work.

You spent the next hour trying to explain what happened. Talking. Crying. He listened to it all.

“Have you tried to call him again?”

You sniffled. “No, if he doesn’t want to talk to me, I can’t make him.”

“He has to come back eventually you know?”

“That’s what I’m afraid of.” You wiped your eyes onto your sleeve.

“Hey, me and some of the others from work were gonna go out later for some drinks downtown. Probably do some bar hopping. Maybe you should come? Get your mind off of things for a little bit?”

“What if he comes back and I’m not here?”

“Maybe that’d be for the best. Think you both need some time to cool off.”

You agreed. “Yeah sure why the hell not. He never wants to come out with me anyway.”

“Alright, go get ready then.”

“It’s early.”

“Its 5:30 and you definitely take forever to get ready. Plus you gotta unpuff your eyes.”

You quickly turned to the clock on the kitchen wall. Shit, how long were you asleep for? How long was he gone for?

“Okay alright then. Are you gonna stay here?”

“Yeah I’ll just watch some tv or something while you get ready. I’ll drive us.”

You went into the bedroom, scavenging the closet for something to wear. Red dress. Jack picked it out one day when you two were at the mall a couple months ago. You hadn’t worn it yet. You were waiting until he finally decided to go out-out with you. Which obviously never came.

You grabbed the dress, his favorite matching bra and pantie set and went to shower. There was a part of you that wanted him to come home to see you. But at the same time you just wanted to forget about all that happened just a few hours earlier.

Out the shower. Quickly dried your hair. Threw some light curls in it. Jacks favorite hairstyle on you. You didn’t like makeup but, put some mascara and lipgloss on anyway.

You walked into the bedroom to grab your little black heels. And walked back out into the kitchen.

Langdon was laying on your couch on his phone.

“Ugh, told you you were gonna take forever. It’s time to go, everyone’s of there way to the first place.” He sat up and turned around. “Damn kid, you clean up nice.”

“Well thanks Frank.” You gave him a side eye.

“You hoping to run into him tonight or something?”

“I- don’t know, it’s just that he picked this outfit out so, I don’t know maybe I guess.”

It’s almost as if Jack knew you were talking about him. Keys jingled in the door. It’s him.

He opened the door to see you standing there in the dress he picked out.

You both stared at each other while Langdon looked back and forth, unsure if he should leave you two alone.

“You look good. Really good.” He scanned you top to bottom.

Your heart was about to jump out of your chest. “Thanks.”

You turned towards Langdon, “We gotta go.”

“Yeah sure.” He jumped up and walked towards the door. He stopped in front of Jack.

“Gimme a second with her.”

Langdon shook his head and walked passed Jack and out into the hallway.

“Can we talk?”

“Now’s clearly not the time.” You walked into the bedroom, grabbed his sweater off the bed and walked out. “I have places to be.”

“Where exactly are you going anyway?”

“Why does it matter to you? I didn’t know where you were all damn day.”

“I was at the park. The park I asked you to be my girlfriend in.”

“You just sat there in your scrubs all day?”

He looked down at his clothes. “I’m actually going back in tonight for a shift.”

You scoffed. “Typical. Anything to avoid me huh?”

“I’m here now, aren’t I? I just wanted to make sure you were okay.”

“I’m clearly not Jack. Please just let me through.”

“Just be safe. Okay?” He stepped out of the doorway and out of your way.

“Always.” And you left.

Langdon was waiting in the hall for you. You walked right passed him.

“Hey.” He stopped Langdon. “Thank you for taking care of her.”

“I shouldn’t have to.” And with that you were both on your way.

At the first bar you met up with other coworkers. Nurses, coresidents, EMTs. And apparently more people were on the way.

“Didn’t realize how many people were coming tonight?” You yelled over the music.

“Yeah me either.” Shrugged Langdon.

After the first 2 drinks and tequila shot, you realized you had ate all day. And you can’t handle your liquor.

You sat alone at the bar sipping water, looking down at your phone lock screen. A picture of you and Jack at a concert together, happy. He wasn’t into live music but, if it were for you, he’d listen to anything.

“Boyfriend couldn’t make it?”said the bartender nodding down at your phone.

“Yeah something like that.”

“That’s his problem. You look good.”

You smiled. Langdon came up behind you.

“Hey we’re heading across the street. Heard it’s 90s music night over there.”

You got up and went with the group. Thought you’d feel better by now. That you’d be able to distract yourself by talking to everyone, drinking, and listening to the music while dancing. It wasn’t working well.

Here you had 2 more drinks. 2 more shots.

Onto the next bar.

By this time, well over a a dozen people were apart of the group.

Fourth bar. More drinks. More shots. And you could feel it. But the more you drank the more you thought about him.

You went to sit at the bar alone. You checked you phone to see that he turned his location back on. The hospital, of course.

One the nurses came up to you. “Come on girl! Let’s go dance!”

“Yeah I’ll be right there.”

No texts or calls from him.

You took a deep breath and another sip of water. As you got up, you saw a guy watching you from the corner of the room. He winked and nodded his head at you. You politely smiled and went to your friends.

No matter what, Jack wouldn’t leave your mind.

There he was. The guy watching you across the room.

“Hey baby, looking good tonight.”

“Haha, thanks.” You were uncomfortable with how close he was to your face but didn’t want any problems.

“You got a man?”

“Yeah I do a actually.”

He scanned the room. “Guess he’s not here tonight huh?”

“He couldn’t make it. Working.”

“Well that’s his loss.”

Langdon spotted you across the dance floor.

“Hey, you gotta go see Donnie playing darts. It’s crazy!”

“Yeah sure.” You turned to the stranger and half waved goodbye.

“See you later.” He winked at you.

“Who the hell was that?”

“No idea.”

“Come on, stay close.”

“What about the darts?”

“They don’t even have darts here.”

It was now 1AM. You head pounding. Each room spinning. One last bar. One more drink. You lost count.

“Come on, one more tequila shot girl!”

“Yeah sure whatever.” You took it hoping the alcohol would down the feelings out of you.

Everyone was dancing, having a good time. You just wanted to be in Jacks arms, in your bed, in the apartment you had shared for over a year.

You looked over at a couple of your friends. “I’ll be right back.” Those who heard you nodded their heads.

You went outside. Alone. Still carrying Jack’s sweater, you decided to put it on. Not zipping it up but, just wrapping it around your body. You stood up against the wall on the side of the bar. Out of view.

Took out your phone. Stared. And finally dialed Jack’s number. No answer. Try one more time. Nothing.

But the thrid time you left a voicemail.

“Jack, it’s me. Um you probably knew that already, you know caller ID and everything. B-but,” your words one slipping into another, “I think I just want to say I’m sorry. I should’ve talked to you about leaving. I’m stupid I know. But I love you. I always have. I- always will. I don’t want to leave you. Ever. You’re it for me Jack Abbott. I don’t want anyone else, or anything else. You’re the person I’ve been looking for my whole life. You make me a better person. I want you forever. Please just pick up the god damn phone. I need to hear your voice,”

You heard the bar door open behind you. The music rushed out into the street before becoming quiet again.

The stranger. Back again.

“Hey you get lost out here?”

“Jack I gotta go, I’ll see you soon.” You hung up.

“Not lost, just needed some air.”

“Yeah, yeah. It can get so hot in there.” He stepped closer to your body. “You know when I said you looked good tonight, baby I meant it.” He licked his lips.

“Thanks again.” You tried to step around him to go back inside.

He blocked you.

“Where you rushing off to? Not like your man is here to take care of you.”

“I gotta get back to my friends.”

“It’s okay I can take care of you out here.” He wrapped his arm around your waist pulling you closer to him.

Your body now pressed against his. Heart pounding in your ears. He grabbed your waist with his other had before reaching down to cup your ass.

You tried to pull away. But his grip was tight. He pushed you against the cold brick wall, pinning you body with his. One hand on your waist. The other holding your arm against the wall. Scraping the skin on the back of your arm right off.

He leaned down into your ear. “Come on sweetheart. I can treat you better then he can.” His hand sliding to meet the bottom of that red dress. “I’ll show you want a real man looks like.” You felt his cold hand on your thigh.

This can’t be happening. Not like this. Not right in front of the bar. Where is everybody? Langdon? Oh god, where’s Jack?

All the thoughts ran through your head.

He leaned in and his lips touched yours. Youpulled your head all the way to the side.

“Damn sweetheart, wanna play hard to get I see. I can play along with that.”

He let go of your arm. He started to reach for your neck.

You pushed him. Hard. He stumbled back.

“You dumb bitch. You’re gonna have to pay for that.” He took a step towards you.

Pain. Throbbing pain was the next thing you remembered. Then blood. Yours? Or his?

Both.

You punched him. Right in the face.

You used to kickbox not long ago. Guess you still remember how to swing.

“Fucking bitch.”

You screamed. Loud. Loud enough for the security guards to hear you inside the bar. They came running around the corner.

Blood was pouring out of his crooked nose. Blood dripping down your arm from your knuckles.

One security guard grabbed him. “Guess you met you match huh? Come on, got some cops that are gonna love your ass.” He took him away.

“You alright? Come on let’s get you inside and get that cleaned up.” He walked you inside.

———————————————————————

Jack got your voicemail. Almost right after you hung up. He tried to call you back. No answer.

So he called Langdon, who was still inside the bar.

“Hey man, what’s up?” Langdon was drunk.

“Dude I can smell the alcohol on your breath from here.”

“Yeah well you should be here! It’s a great time!”

“Where is she?”

“You gotta be more specific broo”

“My girlfriend. You know the one you’re supposed to be looking out for. She called me. Left a voicemail actually. Sounded like she was talking to someone. Then hung up. Where is she?”

Langdon scanned the room. “Uh I don’t know man.”

“Can you go find her please? She sounded drunk , almost as drunk as you. I’m worried. She doesn’t handle her liquor well.”

“Yeah man, I gotchu, I’ll go find her.”

“Alright call me when you find her. I wanna talk to her.”

“Aye aye captain.”

And Langdon hung up.

He walked around the room. Asking anyone and everyone if they had seen you. No one knew where you went.

That was until you walked back in with security.

———————————————————————

Everyone immediately saw you.

Red dress with blood down the side. Blood running down your forearm. Knuckles bruised and swollen already.

You heard a murmur of “what the fucks” and “oh shits”

Langdon came running over almost immediately sobering him up seeing you like that.

“What the fuck happened?!” He reached to grab your blooded fist.

You winced in pain. Mascara running down you face. “The guy from the other bar.” Yo could barely get the words out.

He looked over your shoulder and saw the guy standing outside with security and blood running down his face.

“Oh I’m gonna go kick his ass!” He tried to get passed you.

“No, no, Langdon, stop, the police are already coming.”

“I don’t give a fuck, I’m gonna break his nose some more.”

“Please, just go get me some ice.”

“What’d he do to you?”

“Ice, Frank, please.”

He went up to the bar for your ice. You could see the police lights shining through the window.

3 police cars. 6 police officers.

You told everyone to stay inside while you went to talk to them. Langdon begged to go with you so you gave in and let him.

At this point, the guy was already sitting in the back of one of their cars. Hands cuffed behind his back.

You told them exactly what happened as you held the ice pack against your knuckles.

Langdons eyes teared up hearing what happened. He was supposed to protect you.

“You wanna press charges?” said one of the officers.

“Of fucking course she does.” Said Langdon.

“I need to hear it from her.”

You shook your head yes.

“You can either come to the station now. Or you can come in the morning.”

“What she needs is to go to the hospital. The hand is broken. Definitely in multiple places.”

“No, it’s not, I’m fine.”

“I’m literally a doctor, how are you gonna tell me it’s not broken? Have you not looked at your own hand?”

You took the ice off. Your hand was basically twice its original size. Fuck. He was right.

“Well that guy wants to go to the hospital too. Can’t take y’all to the same place so where you wanna go so we can send him somewhere else?”

“Can you take me to Pittsburgh Trauma?”

“Yeah let’s go.” You gestured to the police cruiser and opened up the door for you.

“Can I come with?” Langdon asked him.

“Absolutely not. Get a ride or call an Uber. You’re drunk. Drive yourself and I’ll have you arrested.”

“I’ll be right there, okay? I promise you.”

He went back inside the bar.

———————————————————————

All you could think about on the ride there was Jack. How he had to see you like this.

You finally checked your cellphone.

5 unread texts messages. 7 missed phone calls. And one voicemail. All from him.

You presssed play.

“Hey, it’s me. I know you probably don’t wanna hear from me right now and even if you do it’s just the alcohol talking. But look, I’m really sorry. I shouldn’t have reacted the way that I did. I guess I’m just scared. I don’t want you to go. I can’t afford to lose you. Of course I want you to pursue whatever career opportunities you want, but I don’t think I can live without you. You make me want to be a better man. You make everyone around here better. I love you. I want to spend my life with you. I want to marry you. Have a family with you. All here, all in Pittsburgh. I want whatever you’ll give me. I- I just need you to stay. Please. Look I gotta get back to work but call me back when you get this okay? Love you babygirl. See you soon.”

You didn’t know if your tears where from the throbbing pain shooting down your arm or from his words.

You got to the ambulance bay. You swung your legs out of the car. Feet killing you from the heels. The officer helped you out of the car and walked you inside barefoot.

One of your coresidents spotted you.

“What the fuck? Do I even want to know what happened here?”

“Get Jack, please.” You said practically begging.

You waited for what felt like an eternity from him to find Jack in a patients room.

“This better be important. I was in the middle of something.” Jack snapped his off gloves into the trash.

He looked up and his eyes caught yours.

“What the fu-“ he ran over to you.

He grabbed your arm as you winced and pulled back in pain.

“Babygirl what happened to you?” He leaned down to look into your eyes.

You broke. Immediately tears poured down your face.

“Come here, come here. I got you, you’re alright. No ones gonna hurt you. You’re safe with me here.”

He held you in his arms while caressing your hair. The smell of alcohol of your breath obvious. “Come on, let’s go.” He wrapped his arm around you and walked you into a room and sat you down on the bed.

Your coresident ran to get all the supplies needed to clean and bandage you up.

“Get the hell out. I got this. Close the door of your way out.”

It was now just the two of you. Alone.

“Babygirl I’m so sorry. I should’ve been there with you. I shouldn’t have let you go.”

He started to clean the now dry blood off of you.

“It’s not your fault.”

“Do you wanna tell me how this happened?”

So you told him all of it. Every single detail.

“I’m gonna find that motherfucker, I swear to god. I’m gonna break his fucking kneecaps.”

“Jack, calm down.”

“No, he hurt you. I’m gonna hurt him.”

“His nose is already broken Jack.”

“I don’t give a fuck. He’s gonna get way worse than that from me.”

“Jack.” He kept cleaning your hand.

“Jack look at me.”

He slowly lifted his head until his eyes met yours.

“I’m gonna press charges. Whichever ones I can. I want them all.”

There was a knock of the door. One of the favorite night shift nurses.

“Hey sweetie brought you a fresh pair of scrubs and our finest grippy socks. X-rays ready for you. Just come out to the hall when your ready darling.”

“Thank you.”

“You need me to help you?”

“I can get dressed myself. You have other patients anyway.”

“Those patients don’t matter to me. You’re the only one I care about here.”

“Can I just have a minute alone Jack?”

He left you to change.you looked at your fist for the first time since you got to the hospital. Looked slightly better without all the blood.

You went into the hall and the nurse walked you down to xray as Jack waited by your room. Thank god the pain meds kicked in with the alcohol because you could barely open your hand.

As you walked back, you heard yelling.

“You were supposed to be fucking watching her! Not getting filthy fucking drunk and letting her wonder off alone!” Jack was throwing his hands in the air.

Langdon stepped up to his face. “I shouldn’t have to watch her for you. You’re here fucking boyfriend. You should’ve been there yourself. Or better yet, she should’ve wanted to stay at home with you!”

“You think you can judge my relationship? Last time I checked I’m not the one in the middle of a divorce and custody battle.”

“Jack!” You yelled down the hall. “Don’t.”

You walked over and pushed him into your room.

“Frank, I don’t blame you for any of this. I need you to know that.”

“No, he’s right, I should’ve been keeping my eyes on you. This shouldn’t have happened.”

“But it did happen. I’m okay. Or at least I will be. I’m not a kid, you don’t need to keep me on a leash. I shouldn’t have gone out there alone. No ones here to blame except the man who did this okay?”

“I’m sorry.”

“I know.” You hugged him and walked back into your room.

Jack was pacing back and forth.

“I’m okay Jack. You can calm down.”

Another knock on the door. “X-rays are up.”

He walked over to the computer to open them up.

“What do you see?”

“Boxers fracture.” You pointed to the obvious gap between your bones.

“Gotta go get ortho to come set it in place.”

“Can you just do it?”

“I’ve hurt you enough tonight.”

He left and came back with an ortho resident who reset your hand and put it in a brace. “Gonna need another xray in 3 weeks to see how it’s healing. In the meantime just rest, ice and elevate. You got a lot of swelling so take it easy please.”

Just you and Jack alone again.

“Jack can we talk about what you said?”

“Which part?”

“On the phone. Your voicemail.”

He knew exactly which part you were referring to but, wanted you to say it.

“The part where I said I want you to stay?”

You shook your head no.

“Then which part?”

“The part where you said you that you want to marry me. Have kids with me. Build a life with me here.”

“I meant it all. Every last part.”

“I’m not leaving. I’m going to cancel all the other interviews. I wanna stay here. With you.”

“You don’t need to do that for me. This is your career we’re talking about here. You can’t give up these opportunities. They won’t come around again.”

“I’m not doing it for you. I’m doing it for us. Jack you’re more important than some job. This all means a lot to me but, it won’t mean anything if I can’t come home to you every night for the rest of my life.”

He leaned in a kissed you passionately. He pulled away and looked softly into your eyes.

“So Jack Abbott wants to marry me huh?” You said jokingly.

“Don’t worry I’m not gonna pull out a ring right now or anything. You gotta finish your residency first babygirl.”

“Well now I’ll be expecting a ring the day after I’m done.”

“Guess I better start working on that. But for now let’s get you and that broken hand home.”

“Your shift isn’t over for another 3 hours?”

“They’re gonna cover for me. Gotta get my lady home.”

The drive home was pretty silent. He just put your favorite Radiohead album on for you. He helped you out of his truck and lead you upstairs.

He helped you pick out your favorite pajamas and you went to take another shower. Forgot you had been wearing his favorite matching set under the dress when you left. Thought the night would be ending differently for you two.

Of course you were glad that you were on good terms now. But when he put his hand on your back as you were leaving the hospital, you flinched. And he definitely noticed.

Once the booze started to wear off, you started to realize the extent of what happening to you tonight.

You cried again in the shower. Used the hot water to wash away your tears for you. Put some drops in your eyes to hide the redness.

You took a deep breath before walking out to him in the kitchen. He was holding up the breakfast bagel you bought him that morning.

“Didn’t even see that you bought these.”

“You could always just eat it now if you want. Think I’m just gonna head to bed if that’s alright.”

He open the fridge and put the bagel back inside. “Yeah let’s go. I’m just gonna jump in the shower real quick.”

You climbed into bed. Curled yourself into a ball, facing away from where he would be laying. You were holding back tears. You wanted to be strong for him. There’s was already so much going on in your lives. The last thing he needed was to be worried about you more than he already was.

You head the bathroom door open and his footsteps coming closer. You closed you eyes and preteded to be asleep.

He peeked over to see you. Eyes closed. You felt as he crawled quietly into the bed to face you.

“Hey I know you’re not sleeping. We’ve been in the same bed for over a year now. You never fall asleep that fast.”

You let out a cry.

“Hey, come here. What’s wrong?” He put his hand on your back and you squirmed away as fast as you possibly could.

“I-I’m sorry”, you whimpered out.

“Can you look at me?”

You wiped the tears flowing down your cheek and rolled over to face him.

“You wanna talk about it yet?” He knew there was more going through your mind.

You shook your head. “I need you to hold me. Bu-but I’m scared for you to touch me. It’s not you, I- I don’t know what wrong with me right now. I’m sorry.”

“You have nothing to be sorry for. None of this is your fault, okay?”

You sat up, “Can you just put your arm out?”

“Like this?” He put right arm straight out.

You laid down so that his arm was between your head and shoulder.

“Wrap your arms around me, please Jack.”

He brought you as close as you could get to him. You cried into his chest.

“I got you, I got you. Nobody’s gonna hurt you ever again alright?”

You nodded and lifted you head up. He wiped away your tears.

“I love you so much babygirl. So much.”

“I love you too.” You laid back down into his chest.

Jack was wrong you could fall asleep fast. But only when you were in his arms.

Things were gonna be different from now on. Cause you ever trust anyone to put their hands on you again?

———————————————————————

Probably gonna end up making this a short series! Maybe just one more part! Let know what you guys think!

[quickestgold]

Still Life: Dr. Jack Abbot x Reader

Synopsis: Jack always expects the unexpected, both as a doctor and a partner. But when your water breaks during a citywide blackout, the pressure to deliver your baby safely grows with each contraction, trapping you, him and Robby in a single, still moment of life and loss.

Warnings: Angst, as always; Pregnant reader; Features a graphic, traumatic birth > Similar to the birth scene in the show. Pls don’t read if this sounds too heavy for you!! (everyone lives)

Word count: 2.7k+

A/n: Yes, this is a cliché baby-born-in-an-elevator story, but the show gave us Abbot/Robby x Elevator and Collins mentioned getting stuck while giving birth, sooo what can I say, we're here now, aren't we. Something something about the enclosed space being a metaphor for birth etc. I’m also very passionate about raising awareness for birth trauma / birth related injuries + these are my emotional support sad boys, so I had to… Enjoy <3

“I’m not giving my baby an old white guy name” you deadpan, leaning against the nurses' station, glancing up at the board with a playful grin. Ellis and Shen chuckle at your honesty, Princess and Perlah enjoying the show from a distance.

As if summoned, “Oh I know you’re not talking about us” Robby counters, him and Jack suddenly appearing next to you.

“Well I know she’s not talking about me!” Jack adds lightly with that dry humor you love so much.

"All I'm saying is, Frank is a great name for a little boy." Langdon argues from his side of the station, hands on his hips. "Frankie. Frankie Jr., the possibilities are endless..."

You roll your eyes, though you can't help but smile fondly at the camaraderie, a warm feeling growing in your stomach.

Though it might be something else.

"Maybe we should go for a name that doesn't sound like he's already retired", Jack quips, his eyes meeting yours. Something about the way you're leaning against the station, catches his attention, worry flickering in his eyes.

The storm outside has been growing since the start of your shift, a low rumble in the distance interrupts the friendly work banter.

As if on cue, you feel another tightening in your lower abdomen, this time a sharp stab that makes you wince. You brace yourself against the counter, careful not to let anyone notice.

You're 40 weeks pregnant, but you know it's not active labor... yet.

Jack is already so prepared, so meticulous. You don't want to worry him more than necessary.

“Well, my vote’s for something classic”, Robby says cheerfully. “Like, um… Robby. Simple, strong.”

"Good thing you don't get one." Jack raises an eyebrow as he steps behind you, putting an arm around your waist instinctively. With ease he holds up your belly, taking some of the weight off your back. He gently pecks your cheek, whispering into your ear. "You okay?"

You lean into his embrace, taking a breath of relief, as you feel the pressure building inside you again.

Before you can respond, the storm outside shifts from a distant rumble to something more urgent. You hear the first crack of thunder, followed by a flash of lightning that lights up the hospital windows.

“So much for having a quiet night”, Shen laughs.

You instantly shush him, loudly. Everyone's reaction's are instantaneous, Princess and Perlah cursing in Tagalog.

Ellis: "Fuuuck!" Langdon: "You always do this!"

As usual, Shen manages to jinx whatever team is unlucky enough to work his shift.

The elevator doors close with a jarring ding. The tightness in your belly flares again, but you grit your teeth and try to ignore it.

Jack and Robby stand by the doors, arms crossed, like they're guarding something precious.

You lean back against the cold metal walls, the tightening growing again, unable to find a position that's comfortable.

Even in this enclosed space, you can hear the wind howling from outside. The lights flicker, then, without warning, the power cuts out entirely, as the elevator halts to a stop.

You hear Robby curse as the emergency lights turn on, their blue glow casting everything in a surreal light. The elevator now feels even smaller, almost womb-like.

Fuck.

You groan softly, hoping Jack doesn’t catch on.

But of course, he does.

“What was that?” He turns to look directly at you, concern written across his face.

You avoid his gaze. “Nothing, I’m fine."

You say it so unconvincingly, you almost laugh at yourself.

“I can see that.” It's the same skeptical tone he uses with Santos and the other interns. It's charming actually.

“When did you start having contractions?” Robby asks, like he’s already claimed you as his patient.

You hesitate, but there's no point lying. “This morning.”

“You’re joking.” Jack is by your side in a heartbeat, torn between putting a hand on your belly or pulling out his stethoscope. Torn between being doctor, partner or father-to-be.

“I’m okay. Really.” You try to reassure him, gently touching his forearm.

That’s when you feel the warm liquid rushing down your legs, a puddle growing beneath you.

Jack and Robby's eyes drop to your feet, then up at each other. They exchange a look, no words needed. This is happening.

“I- I didn’t realize…” You breathe, dazed.

“You didn’t realize you were in pain?” Jack asks, incredulous.

“I’m always in pain, Jack", you bite back. “Ever since you knocked me up!”

You groan, turning around to lean your elbows against the wall, letting your head drop. Your breath is already ragged.

Jack’s hand finds your back, rubbing slow, grounding circles.

“I’m not having our baby in an elevator…” you pant.

“I’m afraid, we are, love.” Jack whispers gently, pressing a kiss to your sweaty forehead.

You let out another sharp groan.

“I need to examine you. Is that alright?” Jack’s voice shifts into professional gear. He pulls gloves from the pocket of his trousers, swiftly slipping them onto his hands.

You nod, squeezing your eyes tightly shut.

He lines up behind you, slipping a hand into the back of your scrubs and reaching down.

Once he’s measured with his fingers, Jack’s eyes flick up to find Robby’s, a mixture of panic and surprise flashing across his features.

Robby reads him instantly. He steps in without a word, steadying your shoulders. His grip is firm and reassuring.

“What?” You gasp.

Jack leans in close to your ear, voice soothing, but urgent. You can feel the warmth of his breath against your already burning cheek. “Honey, listen to me. We’re having this baby now.”

You groan again, louder this time.

Robby’s frown line softens, his lips forming a genuine smile. He and Jack share a warm look, full of excitement.

“No. No!” You shake your head. "Not here."

No prenatal bag. No birthing playlist. No epidural.

“I need to have a proper look, okay?” Jack says calmly, though his hands move quickly.

“Wonderful." You laugh through a groan. "This’ll make a great story for group therapy.”

Nothing says professional boundaries like giving birth in front of your boss.

“I won't look." Robby promises, quickly turning away. "But I am a doctor, you know", he chuckles.

"Not mine, you're not." Your lips form a playful smirk. "This will do wonders for your patient satisfaction scores", you add with a wink.

The air suddenly feels a bit lighter.

Jack kneels down, gently parting your legs and slipping your pants down to your knees.

His eyes widen, before whispering. "You're in active labour, baby", his voice softer now.

Robby doesn't hesitate, rushing to the elevator doors, trying to pry them open. With a metallic screech, they slide just wide enough for people to pass supplies and equipment through. But you haven’t quite reached the next floor.

“Not enough to get her out,” Jack mutters.

You lean forward and peek through the small opening.

Your cervix is probably bigger than that…

“Dana!” Robby yells.

Dana appears instantly, dropping to her stomach to peek inside. She finds you leaning against the wall, pants down, legs shaking. Jack holding you up.

“Jesus. Y’all got terrible timing you know that!”

“We need fresh gloves, blankets, a BOA kit, baby warmer, fetal monitor, anything you can pass through.” Robby orders.

Dana’s already on it, shouting over her shoulder.

Jack turns to you again. “Do you want to sit or get on your knees? What feels more comfortable?”

“I- I don’t think comfortable is the word I’d use right now." You groan. "Feels like I’m being split open front to back.”

“I know. I know." Jack’s hands are already guiding you down. "Let’s get you on the floor okay?”

You drop to all fours.

It’s so goddamn hot.

Your hair sticks to your face, salty water stinging in your eyes, the vein in your forehead threatening to pop.

You tug at your scrub top and Jack understands instantly, pulling it over your head. You sway back and forth, now only in your bra, nothing else.

Groaning. Panting. Cursing.

Jack is beside you, gently massaging your back. He moves with you, trying to match your rhythm.

He’s grateful Robby takes command, barking orders to the team above, in full doctor mode. Focused, clinical.

“You’re doing so good.” Jack whispers.

Another contraction rips through you.

Jack glances at his watch, then over to Robby, who places a surgical blanket on the floor, hooks you up to cables and machines to monitor your and the baby’s vitals.

You curse loudly. “What the hell did you do to me, Abbot!”

“I’m sorry. You can do this.” He takes your hand, squeezes. “Let's meet our boy.”

The next contraction comes fast, stealing your breath. Jack doesn’t need to look at his watch, he knows.

It’s time.

Robby positions himself behind you, breaking his earlier promise. But you forgive him, if it means having your husband by your side and not two doctors competing for who's running this.

“She’s crowning.” Robby announces. His hand applies gentle but firm pressure, to keep the baby from delivering too fast and to prevent tearing.

Jack’s hand trembles slightly in yours.

“Y/N, I can see the head. I need you to push on the next contraction okay?”

You nod your head, almost frantically.

Jack takes a deep breath, for both of you, instructing you to follow his rhythm.

A deep, guttural growl tears from your chest as you push.

And push again.

The sensation overwhelms you. The burning, the tingling, the stinging.

The ring of fire.

“That’s it. Catch your breath before the next one.” Robby's steady but kind voice anchors you. “I need one more big push. Three, two…”

Jack’s voice is soothing in your ear, but you barely register it. You’ve never experienced anything like it.

You’re not even fully in your body anymore.

How long has it been? Minutes? Hours?

You feel another contraction approaching, but Robby suddenly halts you.

“Stop. Y/N, don’t push! Not this time."

“I- I have to.” You groan, almost sobbing.

“No.” Robby's voice is low, sharp.

Jack’s head snaps up.

Something's wrong.

“Baby’s shoulder is stuck on your pelvic bone. I need to release it.”

Jack turns pale, tightening the grip on your arms, preparing for the inevitable.

“I’m sorry,” Robby mutters, but before you can react, his hand breaches your entrance.

The pain is unimaginable.

Is he rearranging your organs?

You scream into Jack’s chest, muffled and desperate. He tightens his arms around you, attempting to ease your pain.

“J- Jack…”

“I know, I know, I’ve got you.” Jack's voice breaks. “Robby…"

“Hang on…” He's still rummaging in there.

"I'm sorry", tears streaking down your face. You look up to find Jack's eyes. "This is my fault... I should've-"

“Look at me. Hey,” Jack says, commanding your gaze. “We’re okay. You hear me? You and me. We’ve got this.”

“What’s going on down there?” Dana shouts from above.

“I need you to lie on your back, Y/N” Robby instructs. But before you can register his words, Jack has already flipped you around. Your bottom lowered against the floor, Jack sliding behind you to brace you in his lap. His arms wrap around your legs, pulling them up and in.

“Lean into me, baby.” Jack’s voice is soft. He closes any distance between you. Practically melting into your body.

“Okay”, Robby breathes, applying suprapubic pressure. “Let’s take a deep breath.”

You feel his hands, firm against your lower abdomen, pushing the baby downward.

“Dana! Call Dr. Ingram, from the NICU, we need him.” Robby shouts towards the elevator doors.

You swallow hard. “Please... Please tell me I'm not having a fucking c-section in an elevator.”

Robby glances up briefly. His voice is low, focused. “Not planning on it.”

He reaches in again, one hand sliding beneath the baby’s head, working carefully to release the shoulder.

Another sharp stab rips through your abdomen. It feels like someone's clawing their way out from the inside, making your vision blur.

“Fuck Robby!" You cry out, voice breaking. "Please stop.”

Though you know he can't.

“Got it.” He suddenly announces. “On the next contraction, you push again.”

Your head feels light, but you know you can’t give up. Not now. Not yet.

3, 2, 1….

You push. With everything. Every muscle. Every breath. Every part of your being.

Until...

A sound cuts through the air.

Crying. Tiny, fragile, crying.

Not yours.

Not Jack’s.

Definitely not Robby’s.

Your eyes snap open. And there he is.

Your baby boy.

Robby lifts him carefully, umbilical still attached, assessing, drying and finally, placing him gently on your chest.

You can feel an unfamiliar but indescribable warmth flood you.

A sob escapes your lips, but this time not from pain.

You've never felt a love like this. Pure and sweet. Instant.

Jack leans in, showering your forehead in kisses, then your boy.

“You did so good, my love." Jack whispers. "So fucking good.” He wraps a blanket around you both, trying to shield you from the cold, from the storm, from everything.

Robby watches the three of you, his own emotions evident in the way his eyes glimmer in the light. He waits a few moments before he's back in professional mode, clamping the cord and letting Jack cut through it.

But they know it's not over. You do too.

You feel another contraction coming…

"The placenta", you murmur.

Robby nods. “One more push for me. Ready?”

He presses into your lower abdomen, a familiar pain ripping through you again.

“There we go." Robby says quietly. "Congratulations mom and dad.”

But...

The moment of bliss suddenly turns into horror.

The world around you starts to fade.

You feel Jack’s arms tense as Robby rips your baby from your chest, passing him through the narrow gap in the elevator doors to Dana’s waiting hands above. You feel the cold breeze against your exposed chest, the loss of warmth from your boy.

What the fuck is he doing? Skin-to-skin is supposed to be longer than this!

You want to argue. Shout at him, but your body won’t let you.

Why are you lying flat on the floor? Where's Jack?

You stare at the ceiling. Your heart starts to race.

You know what this means.

You hear Robby’s voice change. Tighter. Urgent. Then Jack’s voice joins him, both of them shifting into clinical, practiced motion.

Massive blood loss.

If they can’t stop it you’ll need a hysterectomy.

Or worse.

Their words are distant, blending into the chaos of your wandering mind.

“Spike a liter of saline.” “Starting uterine massage.” “Dana! Two units from the blood bank.” "Balloon is past the cervix."

Panic rises in your belly. It travels up to your chest, then your head.

Robby’s movement are frantic now. Jack's too, eyes wide with terror.

Their hands are on you, moving, pushing, pulling, trying to keep you from slipping away.

Jack drops to his knees beside you, instantly at your face, cupping your cheeks with gloved hands slick with sweat and... blood? “Hey,Y/N? Hey.”

You blink slowly, your breath shallow.

“What- what if we name him after my dad?” Jack suggests with an unserious grin.

His deadbeat, boys-don’t-cry, toxic-masculinity-in-person father?

Another time you’d have burst into laughter. And that’s what he’s trying for. A reaction. Anything.

You blink up at him, your lips twitching. It’s a fragile smile, but it’s real.

"Michael.” You whisper.

"I'm here", Robby reassures, working steadily.

No. You gesture weakly. "Th-the baby. Mikey for short."

There’s only one Robby, so that’s the next best thing.

You and Jack want Robby to be the godfather, though he doesn't know yet. He's an important person in both of your lives. And now he's brought your son into this world.

You're glad he's there. For you. And your boys.

Especially if this goes badly...

Jack snorts, but quickly realizes you’re serious. Robby's eyes widen.

“Yeah. I like that.” Jack says softly, nodding, overwhelmed with love and fear.

Jack gently places an oxygen mask over your face, hands trembling as he brushes the soaked hair from your forehead, trying to comfort you in any way he can.

Your eyes flutter open, finding his. Memorizing him.

Jack leans forward, pressing his forehead to yours, whispering things you don’t hear.

Then he feels it. The absence of your breath.

The stillness.

A moment frozen in time, reflecting the fragile balance between life and loss.

Jack's eyes shoot to Robby's, desperate.

But Robby doesn’t stop. Not for a second.

He’ll do whatever it takes to bring you back.

Back to Jack.

Back to your boys.

And he wiiilll. As promised, everyone lives. But I had to end it here - for the drama lolz... Pls lmk what you think <3

Part 2: Still Alive

[jackabbotsfakeleg]

Dark is The Way, Light is a Place | Session 2

Synopsis: As a board-certified clinical psychologist working at PTMC, you were expecting to see patients of the hospital. But by some twist of fate, you end up seeing several ER doctors for individual therapy. Pairing: Michael "Robby" Robinavitch / Jack Abbot/ Frank Langdon x Psychologist!Reader Genre: Angsty, existential, dark, and sometimes fluffy therapy sessions. Word count: 1.8K Warnings: some references to suicide, existential dread, jokes about Tibetan sky rituals, PTSD A/N: Overwhelmed by the support on part one, and I hope to keep the momentum alive. If there’s one thing that you take away from this, I hope it’s that you move away from the idea that you need to be “happy” or you need to experience an “absence of suffering.” The goal of existing is to be able to put down that suffering so you can live your life. Tag list: @snowflames-world

Previous I Next

Session 2: The Lion's at Your Door, The Wolf is in Your Bed

Contrary to popular belief, Jack Abbot does not use humor as a defense mechanism, he uses it to get his foot in the door. If he says something that elicits a laugh, or at least a smile, you might be able to ignore the taste of blood between your teeth when hits you with something dark and fucked up. He relishes in the reaction, wants to see if it hurts you the same way it hurts him.

You let him talk about the things that have happened to him. Initially, it was all about nice-ities. Don't jump off the roof, Jack, crying is okay and not a sign of weakness, Jack, the world is an unfair place, but you're doing a great job, Jack. It must be really hard to not be able to save everyone, Jack. And he would nod in affirmation, accept the validating statements, cry maybe once or twice when talking about a patient he lost, despite trying to hide it. The first time he talked about his military experience and what it was like growing up, it was like his soul had shattered into a million, bright, sharp, memories, each one more painful than the last, interwoven with small victories of the things he had to overcome, the successes he's had. 

And then he couldn't stop talking about the pain, of existing, of not wearing the same rose colored glasses at everyone else that fools you into thinking the world is fair, of recognizing that there is no room for God in medicine, of not being able to get close to anyone without being reminded that death comes for us all. It almost felt like he was obsessed with it, until you realized that he considered death to be an old friend, someone he plans to visit some day. 

The sessions have been a lot, lately, and you both have familiarized yourselves with the sound of silences between heavy answers to unspoken questions, your redirection back to the things that are hard to talk about, his voice cracked, and caught in his throat. 

Today, he starts with a joke.

"Well it finally happened. I'm not saying i'm a hero, but i did get doordash to deliver to the roof," He boasts as he enters the room, holding up a plastic bag with a happy face printed on the side, tied neatly in a bow, "And I didn't even have to threaten to jump."

"Glad to see you're alive and well, Jack" you shut the door behind him, "and that you're eating." 

"Do you mind?" he pulls the prosthetic off of his leg, and motions to the couch, hoping you'll allow him to get comfortable. 

"No shoes on the couch," you quip, and he dramatically rolls his eyes and unties his shoe before letting the prosthesis lay horizontally on the couch, "How's the pain?"

"Oh you mean the fake pain from the leg I don't have?" he rolls his eyes, "it's the gift that just keeps giving."  

"Phantom, but yes" you correct him, "Still a real thing." 

"You know anything about sky burials?" He avoids the question, patting the prosthetic leg lying next to him. 

"Jack" you fold your arms across your chest, narrowing your eyes at him.

"I'm serious, when my foot got blown off, I just really wished I could have given her the funeral she deserved. You know? I'm never going to be able to take feet pics again." He chuckles at his own joke and looks to you for a similar response.

"You really want to talk about feet pics and tibetan sky rituals for the whole session?"

"This isn't fun if you won't entertain me, at least for five fucking minutes." His tone changes. How dare you ruin his last hope for distraction.A man who is not used to being told no. 

"Not supposed to be fun, but you sound irritated"

"My god, y/n, not every therapy session has to be about something horrible, you know." He scoffs, shaking his head in what looks like disbelief. Like you're ruining his good time.

"Is that what you think therapy should be?" 

"No, but can't you just give me a minute to decompress and celebrate a small victory."

"I'm sorry, you're right." You can admit when you're wrong, and he eats it up, a smirk spreading across his face,  "Sky burials, huh? Think we could start offering those here?"

"Maybe, I know a guy who can fly a helicopter, but I don't know the city's guidelines on human pollution," he shrugs.

"What's the phrase? ashes to ashes, dust to dust, human compostable material to the Allegheny river?"

He laughs, genuinely, for the first time in weeks during session. Happiness, however fleeting, looks good on this man. If only you could bottle it up and serve it back to him on days where he feels like he's nothing. you capture the memory, for your own 'small victory.'

"Alright, alright" he settles into the chair, trying to regain composure "now what do you want to talk about"

"Your use of humor is a segway," You reflect, "You do it any time something really bad happens. Let's both remember how a minute ago I was laughing at your jokes so I don't recoil at the sight of you crying."

He contemplates saying something, but bites his tongue. He could push the boundary, tell you to fuck off for ruining a good thing, end the session upbruptly when you get too close to the part that hurts. It's an easy out, but he doesn't take it.

"You ever burn yourself as a kid?" He asks, "on an iron maybe? or the stove?"

"I'll bite, yes." The trick to therapy is revealing just enough while maintaining a boundary. 

"Remember that feeling? The pain receptors light up your brain so quickly that you pull your hand away before you even register that it's hot. You make a mental note not to do it again. Always check that the iron is off before touching it, never grip a door knob before checking to see if there's flames under the door." He repeats the last part like it's an inner monologue that he tells himself when assessing the scene of an emergency.

"A learned response to pain" You nod, "pain has a way of making us cautious, and reminding us that we are in fact, both alive, and not invincible."

"Now imagine standing over your stove, the coil bright red. You can feel the heat radiating, warming the skin on your face. Give it a few minutes, let it get hot. And then slam your hand down on it and hold it there for 10 seconds. Full mississippi seconds,  Hold it there until your flesh melts and adheres to the burner, until you can smell your flesh burning" He holds eye contact, but his facial expression softens when he says it "That white-hot blistering heat, I've been trying to carry that pain for years."

"Jesus, that's a lot to carry around," You take a deep breath. He's got a way with words, and for a moment, you're glad that he started with a joke. 

"It's exhausting. Sure, there's the physical pain of the prosthetic that never quite fits right, the overcompensating I do with my other leg, and the emotional pain of what we've been talking about for months." He leans his head back against the couch, brow furrowed, and runs a hand over his face, like he's trying to wipe himself clean. 

"But there are good parts too, yeah?" You learn forward, elbows resting on your knees, and he sits up, matching your body language.

"Fuck yeah" he exhales sharply, a hint of a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth, "I love saving lives. I see every person I've ever lost in every person I've ever saved. I love being alive, contrary to our conversations, I love the people I work with, the work that we do. fuck, even this is good too."

"But?" 

"But I'd be lying if that voice wasn't loud, sitting at the base of my spine, like a fucking snake," he shakes his head, frustrated with his own inner monologue. 

"What does it say, Jack?" 

"It'll never be enough," his voice is soft when he says it, defeated.

"And you believe it?" you raise an eyebrow.

"You've given me several reasons not to."

"The goal of therapy is not the absence of suffering, Jack." You remind him, "the goal is to be able to put that suffering down, to not let it cloud everything you do so you can live your life." 

You give him the rundown of homework, the things you want him to complete for the next session, and he thanks you for the hour. Therapy is often slow and progress is never linear. 

----

By the time Jack leaves, Robby is already standing in the hallway, leaning against the far wall. This time he's brought his cell phone, to give off the impression that he does have a life outside of these walls. You'd bet money he's just writing a note of things he needs to buy at the grocery store. 

He enters your office, still hesitant to cross the threshold without contemplating making a run for it, but before you can close the door, a familiar voice calls to you from the opposite hallway

"Y/N! Wait!" Frank Landgon practically sprints down the hallway towards your office. 

You step outside the office, and shut the door behind you, face-to-face with the man who should not be here

"Do you not understand what the words 'go home' mean?"  You shake your head, raising your hands up in front of you "You don't have an appointment, I am not your fucking friend, and you are not supposed to be here." 

"I know, i know, but please let me explain," His speech is pressured, eyes wide with worry, hoping for a chance to tell his side of the story. 

"I'm not going to tell you again. You have been referred to me for a court ordered evaluation. Until that appointment, I have made it abundantly clear that you need to go home" Your arms are folded across your chest, a clear directive

"You know me" he pleads, ignoring what you've said. You interrupt him before you can continue.

"Frank," This time your voice is loud, stern, unwavering, "you're being investigated for stealing benzodiazepines. I am ordered to evaluate you next week. If you have any self-respect you will stop talking and you will not give me a reason to put in a report that you can't even follow basic directives to go the fuck home."

You don't wait for a reply, and instead enter your office, slamming the door behind you.

"Sorry about that," You apologize to Robby.

"Don't be, you're not the only one who has told him to go the fuck home."

-----------------

Get your bodies ready for the psychological evaluation of Dr. Langdon in part 3 :)