#and have not left me a moment to myself today
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mywritersmind · 3 days ago
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THREE DAYS. TWO CONFESSIONS. - KA12
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summary : A pair of flirty teens with rich parents and talent running through their blood. In three days of running into eachother in black and red, the pair seem to come to the conclusion that maybe their jokes aren’t too far off from the truth.
listen up : suggestive jokes. dual pov!! mutual pining! banter! kimixbearman!reader. idk apparently i have a thing for wrong kimi x photographers
word count : 3740
⋆。‧˚⋆
I’m staring at him.
He’s talking to an engineer from Mercedes, leaning against a table with his arms braced against it. Fuck his arms. Tan and veiny, gripping the table.
His curls bounce as he nods, his jaw moving as his words meet the open air. I bring my camera up to my face, peering through and snapping one shot. One for myself.
One of him.
Kimi turns his head when I take the photo, the confused look on his face changing, the corner of his lip quirking upwards.
He excuses himself, walking over to me while slipping his hands into his pockets, “Antonelli.” I nod.
“Bella.” He says it as if it’s any other word, yet the weight of it hangs above me like a knife.
He’s called me ‘Bella’ ever since I caught him talking to his friend in italian two years ago. He was explaining who was in the group photo we took at Prema and he said, “The pretty one to the left is Y/n.”
In the moment, my heart did a funny flip, but I played it off and am now stuck with him calling me ‘Pretty’ in his favorite romantic language.
“Saw your face when Lewis radioed.” I fake a frown, “Don't want the car anymore?”
He stays calm and collected, his accent hitting me once again, “It’s like you don’t want to see me every weekend next year.” He frowns, “I know you better than that.”
I cross my arms, looking up at him, “Do you?”
“If I wasn’t there, who would you bully?”
A small smile breaks my cool exterior, “True. My brother isn’t as easy as you.”
He bites his lip, shaking his head, “Ollie is a project for both of us to bug.”
⋆༺
I’m in the Ferrari garage for the majority of the day, practice going smoothly and my day getting increasingly boring.
I end up walking over to Ollie as he gets out of his car, “My speedy brother!” I smile as he pulls his helmet off, the same grin he has everytime he gets out of a car.
“My snappy sister.” He greets me as I raise a brow. “Oh! Later today I'm going over to Kimi’s room so I can’t get dinner with you…” I frown, “Sorry! Guys night. Jack too.”
I cross my arms, “How are the three of you already pissing me off and your season hasn’t started yet?” Ollie just laughs and shrugs, leaving me in the pitlane.
I continue my walk, taking some more photos even though I'm technically supposed to focus on Ferrari pics. I see Kimi in the Mercedes garage, talking animatedly with Lewis.
I pull myself away because too many times I’ve gotten caught looking at him.
I continue my walk to see Jack Doohan standing alone, “Jack!” I smile as I approach him.
He grins a toothy smile, “Y/n! Long time no see!”
“Shit, yeah! How’ve you been?”
“Great! This weather is worrying me though.” I look up to the blue skies, frowning, “I have a feeling.” Jack and his ‘feelings’ are well known in the paddock.
“Well, if it does rain i’m calling for a singing in the rain moment!”
“I’m thinking more of Tom Holland and an umbrella.” I let out a loud laugh, reaching out to touch his arm.
“I’m so in! I can definitely find a black wig and leather.” He shakes his head, his gaze flicking past me.
I turn instinctively. Kimi is looking at us, his face blank but soon turns into a soft smile and a wave. Jack waves back but Kimi doesn’t look at me, just walks back into the garage.
I make a face, turning back to Jack, “Weird.” He laughs out loud, staring down at me, “What?”
Jack just shakes his head, “I’ll see you later, Y/n.”
⋆༺
KIMI
The guys somehow found three old gaming controllers and hooked them up to the TV. Ollie and Jack are screaming at each other as I grab the ice bucket, “Hey! Grab me a candy bar?”
“Oh! And some crisps!” Jack cuts in. Rolling my eyes, I grab some cash and slip out the door.
As I walk down the hallway, I’m humming a stupid one direction song that Ollie got stuck in my head. The hotel is nice and I pause when I walk past the window.
Brazil stares back at me, the darkness isolating the few lights that are still on. I pull myself away from the view and continue humming and walking to the ice machine.
I stop my noise as soon as I turn the corner, seeing a girl standing with her back facing me, and her foot repeatedly hitting the vending machine.
She’s in pink low waisted flared sweats, and what looks like a formerly oversized shirt, cut into a crop and off the shoulder top.
“Fuck!” She yells again, this time placing her hands on the machine.
“Y/n?” I don’t mean to scare her, but she jumps. “Sorry. You need help?”
She looks hopelessly between me and the machine, crossing her arms over her bare skin, “Yes. This stupid thing ate my money!”
I can’t help but smile at her anger, her face is red and her hair looks like she’s shoved her hands through it a million times.
I quietly nod, peering into the box and seeing the stuck candy. I put my money in, buying a packet of strawberry cookies that do exactly what I hoped.
When the pack falls, it knocks her candy right out. “My savior.” She jokes before bending down and reaching into it. My gaze flicks down to her ass, the curve of her waist and her skin on display.
When she stands, I finally see her candy. It’s a chocolate bar with some sort of nuts and she looks ecstatic to finally have it in her grasp.
“Thank you!” She hands over my cookies that I hope Ollie will eat, “How’s the boys night going? They put you on errand duties?” She laughs a bit, a sound I wish I could bottle.
I scratch the back of my neck, “Yeah… What are you up to tonight?”
She shrugs, “Movies, going through pictures, snacks, crying. The usual?”
I let out a breathy laugh, “Why are you crying?”
“I miss my cat.”
“Mmm, peppermint.” I swear she almost starts crying right there. But she takes a breath, “You alone?”
It’s like a switch flips and she’s suddenly looking up at me like I'm more than some kid from karting. She bats her eyelashes, “I don’t have to be. Ditch the guys, I'm watching the princess bride.” I frown, I do love that movie.
“As appealing as that sounds… I think your brother would have an issue with that.” Her lips quirk into a slow smirk. God I love her lips.
“Tell them you got lost. Or kidnapped!” she steps a bit closer, “You really gonna turn down my invite?”
Fuck. Actually fuck. Fuck Ollie for having such a hot sister and fuck her for being so damn convincing. “You’re making it really hard for me.”
She doesn’t miss a fucking beat, raising a brow innocently, “Making more than one thing hard?”
I bite my lip, shaking my head, “You’re funny.”
She doesn’t break eye contact, “I aim to please.”
���You’re gonna get me in trouble, Bella.” I see her flirty facade break when I call her that. She likes it and I like that I can make her blush like that.
She flips her hair over her shoulder, “There’s this thing called self control.
I run my tongue over my teeth, “Trust me. I know a thing or two about it.” She looks satisfied at my answer, “Is this gonna come back to haunt me?”
She blinks innocently, backing up, “I have no idea what you’re talking about!”
I groan, watching her sinister smirk as she leaves, “Bearman…”
She mocks me, laughing, “Antonelli.” I want her to say my name a million times in a million different ways.
I nod slowly, “Have fun crying!”
“Have fun thinking about me!” She blows a kiss before disappearing around the corner. I want to chase after her and keep our conversation going forever.
Instead, I buy a bag of crisps and a chocolate bar. Walking back to my room, all I can wonder is why the universe continues to test me with my best friend's bloody sister.
⋆༺
YOU
I bounce around the paddock, RAYE in my headphones and my camera in hand. The sprint is over and after some dramatics, the rain started.
I texted Jack as soon as I saw the dark cloud, letting him know he’d be good as a prophet.
I run into Franco, he looks tired but happy to see me, “Fran!” He hasn’t been here for long, but his first day was when we met and hit it off instantly. He’s like another brother to me.
“I’m hiding from the media.” He whispers, “Anything interesting happen to you recently?” My mind immediately goes to Kimi and last night. Something about him just makes me need to mess with him.
But maybe it’s not all for fun, maybe it’s a bit of truth mixed with flirting.
“Uh oh…” Franco points at me, “You've got that look in your eye.”
I scoff, playing it off, “What look?”
“That look like something interesting did happen to you. Spill!” I’m about to say something but a figure appears next to us, clapping his hand with Franco and smiling at me.
“Norris!” I thank god for the distraction.
“What’s up?” He’s in all papaya orange, a water bottle in hand.
Franco smirks, “Y/n here was just about to tell me about her interesting life!” He crosses his arms, “Go ahead.”
“Oh?” Lando turns to me as well, standing next to Franco. I suddenly feel very ganged up on.
“I’m not telling you two anything! You’re both too nosy.”
“Can’t help but be curious. Especially about you.” Franco’s relaxed manner makes my lips crack, smiling a bit. “So tell us, who’s the boy?”
“You’re not my brother- you don’t get to ask that.”
“You tell Ollie about your boy troubles?” Lando asks.
“He’s my twin, it’s in the rule book. At least everything he won’t gag at.”
Lando laughs at this, his eyes tracking past me and I know instantly as him and Franco smile, “Kid!” Lando waves him over just as Franco catches the look on my face.
His mouth drops but I just run my tongue over my teeth, holding back my smile with my hands on my hips.
Kimi is next to me in seconds, coolly looking at me as if he wasn’t an inch away from me yesterday. “Hey.”
“So what are your intentions?” Franco comes in hot and embarrassing, my eyes widening at him.
Kimi looks confused and a little intimidated, “With…?”
I stare Franco down, my eyes wide and panicked, Lando finally understanding and breaking out into laughter.
“Next year. You gonna be okay with your friend on the grid? I mean we all saw what happened with Lewis.”
Kimi looks at me as if i’m going to be any help, “I think i’ll be okay… Y/n will probably give me more issues than Ol.”
I scoff, “Right. You’re so cocky with Merc. Do you need a reminded how Lewis is driving that car this weekend?” I tick and wave my finger, “Ollie was totally geeking out when he overtook him.”
He laughs as Lando smiles, “I say we get Y/n a car and see how she likes it.”
Kimi shakes his head, “Don't say that! She’ll go bowling and still win.”
I smile widely, “I was a menace in karting. Kimi has never had the pleasure of racing against me.”
“You’re the one getting cocky, Bella. You really think you can beat me?” I nod, knowing full well I would not beat him.
Lando and Franco both look at us quizzically, “Bella?” Franco speaks italian. Something Kimi clearly did not know.
Lando frowns, “Bella? Is that your middle name or something.” Kimi looks like a deer in headlights.
“More like a nickname.” I mumble.
Franco eyes me, “And you know what it means?”
Lando is still confused, “What does it mean!?”
We all ignore him, “Mhm.” I say as Kimi fiddles with his ring, “Anyways- I gotta go!”
⋆༺
I ignore Kimi for the rest of the day. In my mind, i’m blaming it on work as if the rain hasn’t stopped my job.
Well, I still sit in the garage and snap pictures of the same things over and over again. Charles and Carlos are pretty but become boring to look at after two hours of them sitting and staring into space.
“Y/n!” The head media manager comes up to me, “Could you go print out what I just sent you? It’s for a tiktok.” I nod, grateful for a distraction and a reason to get out of the cold.
Walking through the halls, I stare at blank walls and try to find the printer which we share with two other teams.
It’s hidden in a dark corner, the door shut. I walk in, still humming to my music when I face Kimi. I’m reminded of last night and how his humming ceased when he saw me.
He turns around when the door squeaks, “Oh, Hey.”
“They got you running errands again?” I smile, the door shutting behind me.
“You’re one to talk.” He eyes my phone in my hand, the picture pulled up already.
“Fair enough…” I walk closer to him, he’s leaning over the printer, “How long is your stuff going to take?”
“I’m assuming a while because I can’t get it to work.” My eyebrows pull together as I look at the tiny screen, my arm brushing his as I reach over and press some buttons.
I eye his arms, something that keeps acting a magnet for my eyes. Stupid driver workouts.
Kimi checks his watch, groaning, “I gotta be back soon.” I keep messing with it as he crosses his arms.
“I’m not very experienced in printers.” I shrug, turning to him, “Maybe we can borrow Haas’?” He makes a face, “It’s a printer, not a car part.”
When he reaches for the doorknob a sense of sadness washes over me, knowing we’ll be separated again.
But i’m supposed to be avoiding him! I can't make up my mind and it’s making me angry. I don’t want to be with him but I do at the same time and I'm busy and stressed and he’s so damn cute.
He turns it, except it doesn’t turn. His hand slides over it as it stays in place. He looks back at me, already panicked.
Suddenly, i’ve completely forgot about why I want to stay with him. Because all I can focus on is that I’m stuck in a tiny room with Kimi Antonelli and no fucking air.
⋆༺
KIMI
We’ve texted everyone we know, called and banged on the door, yet still… nothing.
I think she’s freaking out because her hand hasn’t left her bracelet. I sit next to her on the floor as she shivers, “I’m going to petition for a bigger warning budget.” I laugh a bit, shrugging off my jacket.
I see her gaze drop to the black bomber, “I don’t know how you’re cold because I'm getting hot.” I push the jacket closer to her and she offers a small smile and pulls it on.
I think she’s going to stay quiet, but she looks up and sighs, “Must be because I'm so hot.”
I laugh, grateful for her humor back, “Glad to know you’re feeling well enough to talk yourself up.” a small smile graces her lips again.
“The day I don’t, call the police.” She crosses her arms, pulling my jacket close to her, “Thanks.”
“No problem, I told you, you look good in mercedes merch.” She’s facing the wall across from us still, her head tilted back as she bites back a smile.
“Do I look good in Mercedes, or is it just because it’s yours?” She tilts her head towards me as a slow smile meets my lips.
“Bit of both?” I look at her. Her eyes locked on mine as they squint a bit, assessing my answer. “Mostly cause it’s mine.”
She shakes her head, looking forward again, her cheeks pink.
“Your flirting game has improved.” she teases again, “Must be all the time around me.” cocky. arrogant. and correct.
“Nah, I think it’s because I actually mean it.” I see her breathing change, her smile fading.
“Too far, Antonelli. Don’t do that.” She whispers.
“Do what?”
She sits up, turning towards me completely, “Giving me false hope.”
I blink, realizing that this is real and happening right now as we’re stuck in a tiny room, “There’s nothing false about it.” when she starts to look away from me, rolling her eyes, I scoff, “You can’t be the one upset about this. You started this!”
“I started this?” she looks shocked but her voice is still calm, “You called me ‘Bella’. You called me Bella and I didn’t even know your last name.”
“Some girls would like that I described her as I see her. And you 100% love it.” She licks her lips as I continue, “Ollie tells both of us to stop constantly. I thought you at least do it to bug him.”
“Kimi. I don’t care what my brother says that much and… If I was doing it because of Ollie- I wouldn’t flirt with you when we’re alone.”
“So you like it. So why did you tell me to stop?” I can’t quite place the look on her face, confusion mixed with… anger?
“I told you… false hope.”
“And I told you. There’s nothing false about it.” She swallows. I can hear myself breathing as she stares at me.
She stares at me as if it's the first time we met. She stares at me like she knows everything about me. She’s confusing and it’s making me so angry because we’re stuck in this fucking room and neither of us will-
I’m so caught up in my own mind that I don’t realize she’s leaning in. I don’t realize until her hand touches my jaw and her lips are on mine.
She pulls back, her eyes wide and her breath quickened. “I- Sorry.” I’m shaking my head and pulling her in before she can talk again.
She tastes like mint and smells like chocolate. My hand slips under the jacket, gripping her waist. I think I'm dreaming and if I am I don’t want to ever be woken up.
“Bella.” I whisper, my breath ragged and her smile pressing against my lips.
And then the door opens.
We pull apart so quickly that when Ollie blinks down at us, he doesn't see us. But he knows.
Y/n’s lips are red and my cheeks match it. We’re both panting and Ollie just blinks.
“Ollie.” Y/n says, her voice breaking the silence.
“No.” Is all he says before turning around and leaving.
⋆༺
YOU
Ollie isn’t pissed.
Ollie is… embarrassed? Uncomfortable? Horrified that he caught his sister and best friend making out?
We had texted him to get us out of that room and obviously I completely forgot because I was FUCKING KISSING KIMI.
I’m still warm and absolutely buzzing, but with the rain delay, I'm on extra photo duty. I edit all through the afternoon and fall asleep before I even think of texting him.
On quali and race day, I wake up way too early to my phone dead, and when I finally make it to the track, I'm working again.
With my phone a tiny bit charged, I text Kimi.
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I’m tapping my foot the whole race, cringing at every crash and mentally screaming at every red flag.
I keep checking my phone to see if Kimi has texted me but still nothing. He pops up on the TV when Lewis gets overtaken.
I don’t mean to smile, but I do.
It’s ridiculous. I’m acting like a total school girl! One day, i’m flirting and sizing him up because I thought our game was… well… just a game. Even though I didn’t want it to be. And the next, I'm kissing him and checking my phone like an obsessed freak in love.
I really do like him. And that scares me a whole lot more than I expected.
⋆༺
KIMI
I frown with the team at todays result for Lewis, but I fucking run out of the garage the second the podium starts.
I find her in the midst of chaos, her hair is wet and I can’t help but laugh. She doesn’t see me yet, but she’s making a disgusted face and peeling her hair off her face, “Bella.”
She turns just then, her face morphing into a smile, “Hi.”
“You wanted to talk?” She nods, pulling me into an empty glass room.
“I like you.”
A slow smile pulls at my lips as I lean against the table, “I like you too…”
She sighs, like all she needed was to hear that. “But i’m fucking scared because how does that even work and I always thought you flirted back as a joke and Ollie is so weird about it and I really really like you.”
I take her hand in mine, her eyes settling on me, “The first time I saw you, I told Ollie you were pretty. He then informed me that you were his twin and I wanted to die.” She laughs out loud, “But it’s more than your face, because as pretty as you are, and as much as we flirt… I like you because you’re the smartest eighteen year old I know and the only one who can make me laugh and blush simultaneously.”
Her breath slows, stepping closer so she’s standing in between my legs, “I’m sorry for being a pussy about you.”
I laugh, “I wouldn’t give up your cheesy lines for anything.” my favorite smile stares back at me. The one that I create. I poke her in the side, “You fancy me!” I mock her accent as she rolls her eyes and kisses me.
She’s sweet and perfect and my girl.
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matthewswifeyx · 9 hours ago
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When the party's over <3
Summary- Y/N suffers with the birthday blues after having a small party for her birthday
Warnings?- Fluff, crying
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Everything was going so well with the party, I was having fun with friends, having a little bit to drink and spending time with the people that mean most to me. Me and Matt had so much fun organising everything. It was getting late and Matt made the call for everyone to start leaving, I was almost about to drift off to sleep before Matt had said anything. I got up and hugged all of my guests goodbye. Now it was only me and Matt left in our house. I fell back onto the couch and closed my eyes.
"Come on sleepy head, lets go to bed." Matt said softly. I nodded sleepily and Matt pulled me up from the sofa to carry my upstairs carefully. Matt had placed one arm under my knees and the other arm supporting my back. Bridal style. Matt had always loved to carry me like this, he just feels so protective of me.
We had reached the bedroom and Matt placed me down onto the bed softly and gently. He carefully took off my party dress and replaced it with my pyjamas. He was now tucking me under the covers.
An overwhelming amount of emotion crashed over me like a tidal wave. Soft sniffles escaped my mouth. This grabbed Matt's attention.
"Oh baby what's wrong?" He asked worried. Matt had quickly got himself undressed and put some sweatpants on before coming to my aid. I just stared at the ceiling with tears running down my face. "Baby, c'mon, talk to me. What's wrong?" He raised his eyebrows.
"It's just I'm really thankful for everything I have in my life, whether that is the people or this house or my car. Today just really showed me that everyone in my life does care." I just made myself more upset. Matt chuckled in relief.
"Oh sweetie, that's lovely. You're just suffering from the birthday blues at the moment." He smiled, kissed me on my lips softly and put his arm around me, allowing me to snuggle into his chest. Matt was so reassuring and comforting. He was the best.
"I love you Matt. Thank you." I had felt so much better now that I was in bed cuddling Matt.
"No problem sweetheart, I'm always here." Matt kissed my head and I slowly drifted off to sleep.
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Banner credits to @bernardsbendystraws <3
Hey guys! I hope you really enjoyed this small fanfic! if you have any suggestions/requests, please do not hesitate to drop me a message and I will try and get back to you asap! <3
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achilles-rage · 6 hours ago
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good luck charm: bonus drabble
come and get your love
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summary: after a hard day, you do something to cheer evan up.
word count: 1.6k
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a/n: this might be stupid, but it was fun to write and i think it’s cute so sue me!! sigh, i miss good luck charm evan, and i'm sorry this took so long, i just couldn't think of any scenarios i really wanted to tell. if you have any drabble ideas for this series, i'm happy to hear them! enjoy<33
warnings: none, no use of y/n, fem!reader, plus size!reader, race inclusive!reader
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You’re in the bedroom putting away some laundry when you hear the front door slam, and you jump in surprise, a frown making its way onto your face immediately. You know exactly what that door slam means; Evan has had a bad day. 
“Hi, baby.” you say, peeking your head over the railing and looking at him in the kitchen getting some water. You offer him a small smile when he looks up at you, and although he gives you a smile back, you can tell it’s fake even from up in the loft. It doesn’t quite reach his eyes, and you sigh sadly.
When you make it to the bottom of the stairs and walk towards him standing near the fridge, you wrap your arms around his neck and raise up onto your toes to give him a kiss. You feel the way he melts into your embrace, and it’s almost as if you can feel all of the stress radiating off of his body; it’s practically suffocating you, and you can’t even imagine how he feels.
“Rough day?” you ask, and he nods once, jaw clenched.
He’s been working extremely hard the past few weeks at the LAFD training academy, and while he comes home most days exhausted but content, there’s some days where he can get overwhelmed.
“You have no idea.” he tells you, his hands finding their way to your hips. You give him a sad smile, then pull him down for another kiss, hoping to get him to relax a little bit more.
“Do you want to talk about it?” He huffs at your question, thinking for a moment. He knows it would be better to get it out of his system, but he doesn’t want to dump it all on you. He knows how hard you’ve been working at your new job, and he doesn’t want you worrying about him as well.
“Hey, we don’t keep stuff in, that’s not what we do. You told me that.” you urge him softly when he doesn’t reply right away. He sighs, a smile fighting its way onto his face at your reminder. He nods after a moment, looking into your eyes and rubbing his thumb across your cheek.
“The physical stuff is fine, I’m passing everything easily. Just- The instructors say stuff; try to get into your head. It just got to me today.” he explains with a frown. You nod your head as he speaks, keeping your gaze locked with his. When he’s finished you tilt your head to the side, waiting for him to continue, but when he doesn’t, you raise your brows.
“Do you want to tell me what they said today that got you so worked up?” you urge. You don’t necessarily want to push him, but you know that he needs to talk it out, so you keep your eyes on him, as if pleading with him to tell you.
“We were doing this drill today, and there were a bunch of dummies. They gave them all back stories to make them feel real. I don’t know, I guess I just got caught up in it and in my mind they were real people, because they will be one day. I tried to go back into the building even when some of the other guys let the fire get out of hand because there were still a few dummies left in the building, and some guys had to hold me back.” he says in one big breath, and you follow along with furrowed brows, hoping he’ll continue.
“Well, they know I have you, and I guess they picked up on the fact that I was thinking about you the whole time; thinking about you in there. They were just saying stuff about me not being able to save you because of my mistakes, and about you having to plan my funeral because I got reckless on the job and I got myself killed.” he continues after a moment. He chews on the inside of his cheek as he waits for you to reply, and your eyes soften at his admission. 
You shake your head, bringing his head down to rest your foreheads against each other with your hand on the back of his neck. You keep him there for a moment in silence, trying to gather your thoughts before you reply.
“My love, your heart is what will make you a good firefighter. You care so much about people. And I have no doubt that you’d be able to save me if you had to, because you’re smart, and capable, and you love so deeply. And I’m not gonna lie, the thought of you getting hurt on the job has crossed my mind, but I know that you’re gonna fight to come home everyday, aren’t you?” He nods immediately, brows furrowing.
“Of course, I will. You know I will.” he replies, and you smile.
“Then I’m not too worried. Worry about actually finishing your training first, and then we’ll talk about you dying on the job, okay? Because I guarantee that when you start at an actual station, you’ll trust your team a lot more than the recruits. You can’t even imagine all the stories my dad has told me about the people he had to train with.” you tell him with a small laugh. You can still see a bit of hesitancy in his eyes as he tells you that you’re right, so you lead him to the couch and sit him down.
“I know exactly what you need.” you tell him when he sits down, then turn and grab your phone off the kitchen counter.
A small, real smile finally makes its way to his face when he sees you scrolling through your phone, knowing exactly what you’re about to do. When one of you has a bad day, the other always does something to make the other smile. He doesn’t even remember when or how this tradition started, but he does know that it always makes him smile regardless of how many times you do it.
His smile widens when he hears the beginning to Redbone’s Come and Get Your Love from the speaker connected to the tv, and you turn from your spot in the kitchen to face him.
You walk over to him as the beat starts, moving your shoulders in time with each step and fighting back a smile, and when the singing starts, you grab the tv remote off the coffee table and begin to lip sync into it.
He watches as you dance to the music with a wide smile, watching the way you move your hips in time with the music, and he can already feel himself start to feel better. He chuckles when you grab one of his hands and duck down to spin under his arm, and when you turn back to face him, you drop his hand and back up a few feet.
When the chorus starts, you continue lip syncing as you raise your hand in a “come here” motion, rolling your body in time with the beat. He gets up off the couch, keeping his eyes locked with yours, then grabs your hips, pulling you against him. 
You both sway to the music with smiles on your face. You can tell that he feels better, and you’re extremely grateful. You know how stressful the job can be, and you only hope you can help him through it as much as you can. 
The song finally ends, and he lifts you up with his hands going to the backs of your thighs, and you giggle as you wrap your legs around his waist.
“You always know what to do, princess.” he says with a grin, and all you can do is lean down to press your lips to his. 
“I know what else I can do to help you feel better.” you murmur against his lips. You feel his grip tightening on the back of your thighs, and he groans, pulling back from your lips to look at you with blown pupils.
“I’m keeping you in bed until tomorrow morning.” he teases, then sets you back down onto the ground. He then grabs your waist and turns you towards the stairs, then pushes you forward gently, but not before giving your ass a firm smack. You yelp at the contact, turning your head to look at him over your shoulder as he speaks.
“Go upstairs, princess. I’ll be right up.” 
“What are you doing?” you ask, but obey and walk towards the stairs.
“I’m ordering takeout, gonna see what I can do before it gets here.” he teases, and you laugh softly, rolling your eyes.
His eyes dart between your ass as you walk up the stairs, and his phone, and when he’s finally placed the order, he races up the stairs two at a time. 
He grins when he sees that you’re already naked, sprawled out on the bed and sitting up on your elbows waiting for him. He groans as he takes off his shirt, then unzips his pants, and then he’s on you in an instant, lips attaching to your neck.
“How could I do this without you, princess?” he whispers against your neck, goosebumps erupting on your skin as his hot breath hits your neck.
“You’d be lost without me.” you tease as you tilt your head back. You feel him grinding against you as he chuckles, and you lower your chin to meet his gaze when he leans back to look at you.
“Damn right, I would.”
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ed-recovery-affirmations · 3 days ago
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I started to get my appetite back a little bit today. I couldn't eat much in the morning, but started doing better as I went about my day, especially as my afternoon client and I are in the routine of going to a very specific restaurant every Thursday and I think looking forward to the normalcy kick-started something in my body.
And I had chocolate (nice, semi fancy chocolate, treated myself.) My morning client really likes chocolate, and occasionally I will take him on a long drive to the chocolate shop in my hometown. So we went to the chocolate shop and we got free samples and also bought some stuff. We each tried our own sample and then I gave him another piece after he ate lunch. Today was a weird day, for me and for him, so I told him I felt like we needed some chocolate.
I got a piece for my mom too, and I still have a piece left for myself to treat myself later.
Just sharing this because it was a positive food experience for me after having nausea, low appetite, and struggles to eat that REALLY made want to backslide. And in the midst of all going on, I wanted to take a moment to reflect on how food can be community-building and can be a love language and a gesture of support and love.
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wosowffc · 2 days ago
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TRISTAN MCCABE
Part 3 panic attack slightly mentioned
The last few weeks have been rough I nearly got caught not going to school twice with one being when my little brother was sick so she Text me to say she will collect me too as I'm next door, I've never ran so fast in my life. I ran to the gate where she had then collected me and another was when Ella had went a run aroudn the park I chill at , like wth why would she go there she's usally at uni in cork though so she didn't run there again as she went back.
Today I was sitting in my usual spot watching the usual people with my usual hot chocolate (yes it cost me a fortune to get one each day but oh well)
The one thing I hadn't planned on happening was my ma and da coming on a walk through the green.
I watched as the held a coffee take away cup each and walked arm in arm. Shit. That's all I could think in that moment before they got any closer I ran. Fast and far. I ended at what I think will become my new spot the was a small stream I could hear the birds and there was nobody else around. Silence
The silence was great until I became aware of my breath not steading down and my hand shaking. No. Not now. Please. I try compose myself takign a few deep breaths which I feel go nowhere as the shaking spreads like an illness through my body. No. Not now. Please. I take out my phone trying best not to drop it and get contact.
"Katie" I said in a quiet voice trying to mask my shaking and fear
"Bean, hey sorry just finishing trainign can I call you back?" The loud fast voice said on the phone
"I-I yeah" I say stuttering and tripping over words moving the pine away from my mouth as I suck in breaths
"Ok, call in lot less than five mins, ok byebyebye"
With that the line goes quiet and your left either you heart beat again.
You try everthing she has taught you the 1-5 game trying multiple calming things your resort to waiting for the phoen to ring. Scratch that praying the phone rings. It does
"K-ka....help" you can't even get her name out while pulling at your Collor of your school shirt unbuttoning the top few.
"Bean, hey I'm so sorry I hung up , look at me I've got you, I'm going to need you to really listen to this ok let's try one deep breath bean jsut one for now ok and then we can try counting to 10 " Katie's face through the camrea is helping even to know she is there even though she really isn't she ushers people to on with out her as she calms you down.
"Sorry for interrupting training" you shyly look down.
"Don't be bean anytime like I told you from the start".
AN--- I'm only starting so hopefully I can get better at these please send requests or messages for fics
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spade-club · 4 months ago
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Ugh. She literally. Is upset that I dont always like her. Like she hasn't. Given me. Two different kinds of trauma. Across many instances. And has not changed that behavior significantly.
Like. I told her not to drink. Because she gets even worse with boundaries when she drinks. And she responded with. Saying its weird that I dont like her. Like. I havent just. Told you. Why.
And I respond with saying. That its not like I dont like her. Its just that I dont want her to drink around me. Thats all.
She also has told me. To my face. That she hates me <3 so
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tamagotchikgs · 4 months ago
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heavily debating whether i should start a fast or make pizza
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bunnihearted · 8 months ago
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📓🖊️🧸
#i feel so lonely now bc i have no one to talk to sksksk#my sisters gets mad whenever i try to talk 2 mom and she just slammed doors nd got irritated at me#nd my mom is so stressed nd in a bad mood so she just got annoyed when i tried saying smth to her#so ig i should just vent to my bestfriend beloved diary confidant thats been here for me for 5yrs<3333#anywayyy today was rough.. i woke up w a headache after 3hrs of sleep :((#but still had to get up nd get ready nd eat boxed mashed potatoes for breakkyy 🤢🤮 (it's so gross after eating it everyday lol)#then w my hunchback nd achy stomach i went to school. it was frustrating bc ppl r so fkn rude#they bumped into me at the bus nd i had to sit like a weirdo caging my left stomach side from everyone. had to elbow some dumb fkn guy bc he#pressed his backpack into my side. so i had to basically push it away from me lol he thought i was so weird. but move tf away asshole??????#got to school nd checked myself in the mirror nd i was so pale i look like absolute garbage its annoying :((#it was next to insufferable to endure class bc my head hurt so bad (it was the worst part i think) nd i couldnt sit up straight so my back#hurt so bad too sksksks :<#but i managed to write a little but on my assignment#then i left a bit earlier bc i couldnt stand it anymore i was feeling so bad#wrnt to the library bc i had to return some books. could only carry two small ones tho so have to go back multiple times sksksk#felt soooo bad but ate some more disgusting mashed potatoes nd took a nap w an ice pack. took a migraine pill even if it upsets my stomach🤣#now a few hours later i feel better physically#buuuuuut im so miserable im not even kidding#idc if it sound pathetic or fatty but genuinely that moment w a cup of coffee nd a small chocolate treat everyday makes me feel sm better#like im not kidding!!!!! it does a lot for my peace of mind sksksk T-T#im so miserable bc i cant eat anything still im so hungry :((#and im weak. im pale. my skin's dry. it's itchy bc of malnutrition... i feel faint nd dizzy nd slow nd just not good at all#im so frustrated i hate this sm i wanna feel strong and healthy!! i dont wanna be constantly hungry. i wanna go to the gym nd go for walks#i wanna be able to sit up straight nd not get back pain!!!#i know i know it's only been 8 days since surgery and it takes time to heal i get it..... :(#but theres just too much going on and im so sick and tired of it all#mostly i just wanna be able to eat and feel strong bc i feel so weak nd i miss food so much sksksksk
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varjopeura · 6 hours ago
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#okay no it's not the darkness getting to me there is a real life thing occupying a lot of my brain space#and idk if there's anything to be gained by speaking it out loud into the void but at the moment it's the only thing i Can do#i don't even have to click the 'post' button if i don't want to#but yeah. yesterday got the news that my mom's husband is dying. had a surprise heart attack and he's not gonna make it#just feels super fucking weird#personally i never really liked him at all so it's not like i myself necessarily have to grieve. never was that close with him#but like. oof this is going to be hard for my mom. and i'm super worried about how she's going to survive#but there's nothing to DO about it really. she wanted to have some space to come to terms with this on her own#and she has a strong support network of friends in her city. while i'm on the other side of the country#and don't even know what i could do to help if i was closer to her. i just. like. what can you even do in a situation like this?#just feels weird to Not do anything when i know how huge of an impact this will make for her entire life#she'll probably have to move to a different place too#and there are people there to help her. people with more life experience. people who probably know more about grief than i do#i just. i have no idea how one handles something like this. except for being there for her when asked#do eldest daughters have some sort of universal responsibilities that i'm just not aware of?#it feels kinda horrible how this is constantly circling back to what can *I* do and what must *I* do. how *I* feel#i'd never ever ever make things this much about me in any other setting than my own tumblr blog. in a tag whisper i'm not sure i'll post#but yeah all of this is eating my brain in a very weird way. an odd sort of limbo where it feels like there should be something here#it'd certainly be easier if i had any sort of relationship with the dead person myself. if i had something to grieve myself#now there's just a feeling that something Should be here to feel. and the knowledge of how hard this must be for my mom#ahhhhh idk none of this makes any sense i'm just speaking in circles and everything feels bad#it's bad and horrible and i don't know how to process any of this and i'm stuck in my brain and can't DO anything#there's nothing i can do to help my mom at this exact moment when she wants to be left alone with her thoughts#and i can't do anything else either because all of this feels like a heavy black cloud fogging up my brain#can't concentrate on anything at all today#not fun. not cool#sussitalk
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triglycercule · 10 days ago
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yada yada happy halloween to these FREAKS (and you guys :3 and myself i gusss :3) doodle from art class that i GUESS could be considered halloween...... idk ok idk ok something was up with me when i drew this
#look killer would like being praised more but to be fair since when has anyone been truly canon with him#to make myself not tweak out i can just pretend this is my fanon#i mean like mtt to me is the epitome of finding slight comfort in suffering when theyre not beating eachother up#dust and horror are affirming killer's terrible thoughts about himself!! how sweet :3 <3 theyre so made for eachother#horror looks like he has a second eye but dont be fooled i just didnt shade that in#i NEED to lock in on that animation. i dont think i have any homework today#i just have a short worksheet and then i'm good to draw i really should really really should im so sorry#disappointed in myself smh more than any of YOU ever will be#originally this was gonna be them in their halloween costumes looking down but then i was like#wait i dont wanna draw killer so ierased him and then just put horror and dust in their normal outfits bc i liked it#and i was like hold up hold up i gotta include killer somehow. SOMEHOW.and then this is the resuly#listen these guys dont freak around but they do various other things that are almost just as freaky as sex#that was more of a side blog thought triglycercule. i know. i will elaborate more there i guess#i ate so much candy today!!! and i didnt even go trick or treating!!!!!#theyre so smitted and enamoured with eachother :333 i love that for them#theyre so cannibalism core. theyre so if i cant have you nobody can core. theyre not soulmates but instead eachothers curse. theyre so UGH#only the murder time trio can match the other 2's freaks i fear nobody else can#its either less crazy or more crazy and these 3 are the perfect amount of balanced to even the other 2 out#i love that one kist animatic that that one really cool twitter kist artist drew#i know theres probably a really good horrordust animatic out there somewhere 2#WHERES THE HORRORKILLER ANIMATIC HUH!!!! WHERE!!!!!!!#horrorkiller once again left out of the trio duo ships......... this is biased i fear#people just hate to see unhealthy bitched unhealthy smh. they can handle toxic kist but they cant handle toxic hrkl???? BLASPHEMY#triglycercule's rambling again (like a dementia patient) i should get to work#i found my first ever sand au fan out in the wild today. this is a moment in history i fear#i will never find another sans au fan in the world until i pass 30 years of age and im sad but whatever#i cant wait to get a job so i can start ordering stickers of my trio#i cant WAIT to get a pinmaker one day and start my very own mtt ita bag#i want a pinmaker so bad god. just so i can staple their faces all over#tricule rant
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parakeetpark · 2 months ago
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Uh oh. Essay in readmore time
What's so frustrating is that for almost all of my life I didn't know I had adhd, and only found it out 5ish years ago
During ALL of my studies i was intensely freaked out and even when i got a grip on some of my mental health shit at uni, importantly I was still unaware of the adhd. And only had some professional tell me about their suspicion about it AFTER I could have received any support in my schooling.
And I have been working damn hard over the last half a decade to learn about myself and the way I work, and be kind to myself and open minded, and learnt from many many different people with adhd how they function - especially through advice on here bc much of Google is shit, and learnt what does and doesn't work for my personally.
I slowly unravelled and found myself. To a point where I'm actually functional and content in myself.
So now i find myself in the most intense, stressful period of my life since then. Grieving and finally understanding what people meant when they spoke about grieving a very close loved one. How nothing feels real even.
And I've found myself so extremely wired from having to do a very vast array of tasks all crammed into a short space of time with a close deadline - exactly the same conditions as during my studies.......... where nothing ever helped.
Yet. In the last thirty minutes I've unwound because I instinctively KNEW what to do. I found myself following all the things i taught myself about my adhd, and now I'm like 70% more chill???? Huh?????? Noticed suddenly that I've been using my ADHD self knowledge for the past few weeks and coped remarkably well because of it.
It's shocking because imagine what i could have done if I had ANY help with my adhd EVER in my life from the adults who were supposed to notice in my entire childhood. Like HUHHHHHH, I am shocked. Imagine how I'm here as an adult using 5 years of learning adhd related advice and stuff I learnt through self awareness .... and feeling better.
SHOCKING!!!!
PS - long ass tags that immediately ramble away from my initial post and go into something positive and that made me feel fluffy inside. You've been warned
#It's so fucking aggravating#i was a self contained child and didn't display the Expected ADHD traits or what fucking ever and so i got left to rot by the system#fantastic#sighhhhh but on the bright side - i am damn PROUD of myself tonight. I've come so far#It's very hard being neurodivergent and I'm doing amazing by own like standards#btw secret lore - first time i ever said aloud that i was proud of myself was in therapy like 6 years ago#and it was indescribably hard to get to that stuttered halting sentence 'i am proud of myself'. so hard and my therapist was so clearly#over the moon for me. i still treasure that memory and the path i have taken to being kind to myself and that's why every time i say#i am proud of myself#it holds the memory of every time I've ever said it or thought it and believed it#every time i see someone do something good i make sure to say well done because I'm proud of them too :-)#i do it apparently with such conviction and sincerety that people stop and stumble sometimes aha#i think it's beautiful to help people notice when they do well. like 'oh skipped work every day until today' - well done u made it today!!#'i cooked a meal and got it the way my mother makes it after many failed attempts' - well done you must have worked so hard#'i made a important phone call' (from friend who has told me before how much they struggle w calls) - BIG WELL DONE that must have been har#It's easy to notice and pay attention to people and congratulate them for these things that may not sound Big bc 'everyone else can do it'#as they say. or they are too busy to notice they did something that took effort on their part. It's so wonderful to make a difference#and hope they can be proud of themselves too in that moment#man this took a positive turn.... this is something I've not really said before. but it is truly so joyful to congratulate people to me
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fingertipsmp3 · 4 months ago
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Ughhhhhhh I hate writing and I hate not writing and I hate myself
#nearly bought a digital typewriter today. actually i DID buy a digital typewriter today. officially yes i have bought a digital typewriter.#the money for the digital typewriter has left my account but i have emailed them to cancel the order because i can't in good faith buy#a digital typewriter when i don't fucking WRITE#i thought it might help me get back into it. distraction free and while allowing me to not judge my own writing#and be continuously editing while i write and going 'i'm crap i'm crap i'm crap no one will ever read this and if they do they will think#that i'm garbage and that i should feel bad etc etc etc'#but it's too expensive and i have the feeling i wouldn't even like or use the thing once i got it#because the IDEAS! the ideas aren't coming to me. or rather they are but none of them seem to stick#i feel underconfident in writing any of them#and then i have old projects that i've always wanted to get back to like the tennis romance thing but SO much has changed since i first#started drafting it. like i don't even know if i like the main couple anymore. i kind of want to put both of them with different OCs of min#but it'd switch up the WHOLE story if i had a different cast#in fact most of the problem lies in the fact that i have this long-running bedtime story i tell myself every night with lore#and a massive cast of characters that i switch out depending on who i'm most interested in right now and every so often i incorporate new#themes and ideas and motifs and plot points sometimes based on media i've been watching because it's MY bedtime story and it doesn't matter#if i plagiarise in my own brain. but then obviously i can't plagiarise in real life#and none of my bedtime stories are GOING anywhere. sometimes i only get through a scene or two before i fall asleep#all of which means my bedtime story is not so much a sweeping epic novel but a sitcom with way too many characters#most of which are werewolves to be honest and sometimes for my own wish fulfilment one of them will walk out of my head#and take care of my problems for me by lending me £1million or murdering my best friend's ex. in my mind obviously#so it's like. it's a case of getting in there and annexing off the stuff i think i can use#it's like yeah i've definitely written several romance novels in my head in the process of this but does it matter if they're IN my HEAD#to be honest i feel like my main strength is in creating characters. like i have this one family of werewolves i've been slowly but surely#adding members to since i was like 16. maybe younger? no yeah i think i made the first one when i was 12#they're compelling to ME anyway. i care about them. it's just PLOTS. i can't plot#if a book could just be a lot of dialogue and sex scenes and silly moments and character studies i'd be alright#i also can't describe settings. don't ask me to because i can't#and now i'm just annoyed with myself because i sat down at my laptop to try to write and instead i'm here complaining about how i don't wri#and if i had the digital typewriter... i mean i'd probably still be doing this i'd just no longer have £300#i don't have the £300 anyway. i hope to christ they refund my card i'm a fucking idiot
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hella1975 · 1 year ago
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normal again :)
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dancing-with-stars · 9 months ago
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guys. guys !!!!
#vanu is rambling#ok idk this is gonna b a happy post but i think there are lots of people who love me in this world. or at least enjoy my presence.#like i always always always ALWAYS doubt if my friends or family like me and in my head they all secretly hate me#but like for these past couple months things have been different.#i don’t feel so left out (like i usually do in groups) or alone.#like my friends genuinely want me there like they always ask me to go places with them. and i almost always say no because im so busy or#i just cant but they still ask me everytime. yesterday the whole group was calling and playing a game and i got a bunch of texts like hey#where are you u shud join the call it’s rly fun ! but i just couldn’t bring myself to talk to anyone at that moment.#today they were rly happy when i joined the call and idk it made me feel like. oh. maybe my friends do like me#and also i have two moods: i’m either super talkative or i go into my little shell and don’t say anything/add to a convo. and like during#those moments they’ll be like hey u ok? or they’ll just listen to me talk about ceramics and how fun it is or how much i hate eating pears#and like. we laugh so much together. like i have so much fun with all of them i love every single one of them omg#and scary thing is we might not even be friends after we start college. but yk what? that’s okay i don’t wanna think about that.#because like who cares? i’m not gonna let my fears ab the future ruin my friendships. i’ll always love them anyways. and we’ll always call.#i’m glad i met them. they’re all such beautiful and funny and amazing strong willed-people. they are my friends.#it’s just so crazy to me that they willingly want to spend time w me and are sad when i can’t. and they’re so understanding at the same time#they don’t get mad about it. and like they have mad eng last year in high school so much more enjoyable.#someone told me that this is ur last year do things so when you look back you don’t regret anything- so you can be proud of what you did#and my friends helped me with that. and like i still feel lonely the majority of the class because despite this there’s like a permanent#stain of sadness right there at the bottom of my heart. but they make the hard days more manageable.#like i’ve been on call with these people until ungodly hours at night just laughing and i go to sleep feeling a bit lighter.#they introduced me to the tech side of theater which i never thought i’d get into but here i am. they teach me silly facts and words in asl.#they taught me dances- knowing full well i SUCK at it- because we all had fun with it. theyve taught me it’s OKAY to be vulnerable in#friendships and that sometimes being open/yourself is quite literally the best thing you can do for your own soul and others. they’re cool#people really. really cool people
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ofmd-alsaurus · 1 year ago
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todayisafridaynight · 1 year ago
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confession: sometimes I come to look at your art as references because you have noted details like moles + looking at what colors u put down in my quest to find what something looks like under neutral lighting I know the shit here has been thoroughly researched
i will be normal upon learning this news.
#fave#snap chats#JUST KIDDINGLAKJVKLE I CANT EVEN MAKE A FUNNYMAN™️ COMMENT THAT'S SUCH AN HONOR THANK YOU SO MUCH#especially when i'm such a fan of your own work... i love your lighting and shading and how Shaped everyone is so much...#just the FEEL yk i cant explain it but your art just feels super great to look at..#the funniest thing bout being sent this today is ironically i was gonna make more 'model sheets' for myself like how i did with y2 daigo#dunno why i just felt compelled to do so.. just so i could draw bitches without having to think ACTUAL Rotating Like An SSBB Trophy moment#except this one i'd make more note heavy..... cause idk i always wanted to do that tbh..#if my arm didnt hurt i probably would ☠️ maybe tomorrow or if im too stubborn later tonight i will ☠️☠️#but wow... again thank you that means a lot. new favorite compliment achieved thank you...#i do spend hours looking at these bitches so im glad. im glad thats apparent i pay attention 😫#in truth i dont even draw EVERY mole on every character- daigo is esp awkward because his moles change throughout games#the moles i draw are specifically for the ps3 era/y3-75#he has different moles in the dragon engine- they're actually on the right side of his face opposed to the left: theyre entirely different#AND IM GOBSMACKED BOUT THE COLORS BIT people tell me my colors are nice but its still ?? for me to acknowledge that sometimes#like not BAD OF COURSE NO NO IM REALLY HAPPY im just.. hm... i didnt think i was doing anything nice..#in any case again. thank you. ive made it clear this is a big compliment I Will Can It now ☠️
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