#and have characters talk about their 'side hustle'
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#'lady jane grey's story'#and it's a real historical woman who died horribly#BUT WHAT IF SHE WAS A BADASS GIRLBOSS INSTEAD??#i really don't see the point of making period pieces anymore#they have no interest in being historically accurate#or allowing the audience to see what life was like in a different time period#they just want to goof off#and play hiphop music#and have characters talk about their 'side hustle'#no attempt at any sort of mood or vibe or atmosphere#and especially not at research#hollywood just wants to dress pretty people up in old-timey costumes (also inaccurate)#and have them talk like the cast of buffy#while also being as diverse as a furry convention#what is the point even
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richard's relationship with money is so interesting to me despite/because of how vague and nonspecific it is in canon. which only makes sense because the show isn't interested in richard's backstory at ALL and, it being an audio medium, it can't exactly give many context clues like wardrobe/style or what his apartment/house looks like. but it's like......... he doesn't have interests, he dabbles in money-making activities. i am practically forced to assume that his mention of being good at pool also = a side hustle. his estranged dad up and left him a house and a paid ride to college. at this point he's way better off than he's ever been -- after 18 years of living with two separate conmen and a mother who doesn't care about him in mediocre apartments, he's suddenly on his own with his future out in front of him, and....... he STILL takes very risky grade-changing jobs for money? like he bypasses getting a regular college job and goes straight to petty crime? and apparently "far worse" crimes??? it's such an interesting balance between craving the security of Having Money and being pathologically unable to get it in a "normal" "safe" way. he doesn't even do anything with it in canon, he just GETS it. he isn't even buying lucy's drinks himself!!!! obviously even richard has bills to pay (which is. very funny to me. sorry that i think 19-year-old college era richard is the funniest person to ever exist, gremlin who's only ever lived in an apartment with his mother, sister, and mother's rotating cast of boyfriends, suddenly has a whole ass house dumped in his lap on his 18th birthday in exchange for his whole ass father's wholesale abandonment of him, has to figure out how to pay utility bills on his own, maybe thinks about getting a barista job or whatever kids did in the 80s, record shop clerk job?? and then nopes past it and picks "exploiting a child genius" as a career path instead. what a fucking legend. i also think he murdered people for money a couple times but that's just me) sorry i've lost the plot of this post thinking about campbell county community college computers richard. imagine being the people at the 5 Cs in charge of hiring STUDENT COUNSELORS and seeing richard maxwell strut into his interview and thinking "yes this 18-year-old suspiciously home-owning kid who talks like a john hughes movie antagonist and is currently his kid sister's very much illegal guardian is the perfect fit for our emotionally and socially fragile 11-year-old resident genius. what could go wrong" and then they have to pay for nicholas adamsworth's therapy sessions for the next 5 years because richard maxwell was what could go wrong. fuck. "waylaid in the windy city" maybe be my personal favorite richard but pre- and mid-"eugene's dilemma" richard is definitely the weirdest and funniest
#richard maxwell#aio#richard goes home deliriously exhausted from his college classes and 14 illegal side hustles and has to help rachael with her math homework#'why does he talk Like That' because it was the 80s and he's a single father next question#no wonder he genuinely likes lucy she's a Good Kid who doesn't need him she just likes him#despite everything that's probably the most straightforward relationship he has#unfortunately on lucy's end she also requires several years of therapy after her category 5 richard maxwell moment#like EVERYTHING about eugene's dilemma richard makes simultaneously more and less sense#when you realize that he's got the background radiation of 'my estranged mom showed up out of the blue to make me take care of her/my siste#'and then she left me alone with my sister and no way to contact her if i needed help'#'and then my sister got taken away from me because she got busted for shoplifting several times in a row so now i'm alone again'#'i canonically hate myself for failing her this way'#'also someone almost kidnapped me in a creeper van the other day'#the fact that fotf created the Most Character of All Time without meaning to or realizing is so fucking infuriating to me#at the very least richard maxwell should have been a supernatural character. he could have shone there.#instead. here we are.
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On Clark && Organized Crime.
I really emphasize the fact Clark dabbles heavily in the criminal world (and corporate business overworld) and that he has a reputation, but also is a relatively mysterious individual-—you may have asked yourself how the fuck he manages to be some business-equivalent of John goddamn W*ck and does so while being a supernatural creature.
We've been over the HOW in terms of how he has the influence he has, the connections, etc. Clark works OBSESSIVELY, he's toxic about it to the point where the only reason he hasn't fucked his own health is because he's got the perks of being inhuman. I really hammer in the fact that Clark NEEDS to keep busy and so he dumps just about all of his waking energy into what he does and with the combination of supernatural perks && his own unmatched drive, he accomplished an insane amount in a mere 20 years that could rival just about any multi-generational crime family at this point. I touch on it a little more in detail HERE.
WHAT'S HE DO?
What does he bring to the table? What has gotten him so well connected and powerful? As one might expect from the son of a demon-— he's a deal maker, a deal settler, and a deal enforcer. He's your middleman they can't say no to and, more importantly, he's one that don't WANT to say no to. He brings other things to the table that's earned him some respect like being insanely reliable and always delivering on his promises and, of course, the fact he's got enough money and favors pocketed it makes him valuable just to be in business with.
On the less savory side of things, there are certainly stories ring leaders tell their underlings to keep them in line and many of them may or may not involve Clark and what he has may or may not have done to groups that have gone back on their word with him or went so far as to double-cross him. Rooms of gore, entire crime families wiped over night if they were lucky, killed in every way but physically if they weren't. Gnarly stuff and gnarly punishments for what Clark considers the biggest affront to him. Needless to say, with statements like that, betrayal doesn't happen much nowadays.
Got a pretty decent example of something he might get up to if you reeeeally peeved him off HERE.
BEING IMMORTAL IN A MORTAL WORLD
Arachno, you may ask, how the fuck does he exist like this for twenty something plus years and do the things he does and not be found out? Does no one ask questions??? The short answer is: he really only half avoids it and also people would rather believe a nonsensical lie than they would to accept some batshit truth.
The long answer is he has a plethora of aliases. Frankly, you could be working with or for him and not even know it. Aside from that, he sends liaisons in his stead at times, he impersonates as his own grandson, was his own son before that. Sometimes, he just goes as Mr. Thompson in person, sometimes he only communicates via voice or text. Between all these mediums of doing business, it just further lends to his wild ass reputation. Which leads us to...
THE DEMON OF WALL STREET
An annoying moniker he's earned (much to his chagrin) and is due to the culmination of his own dark reputation, the manner in which he conducts business and settles deals, and also because of the fact there are totally grandpappy crime lords out there on their last leg who SWEAR they remember dealing with the same eerily beautiful blond man in a suit that their predecessor is working with now despite how humanly impossible that would be. Some real Age of Adaline shit. Mr. Thompson does get tossed around a lot, but this title is what you'll hear most often-—especially when you're in a pinch and looking for a last ditch solution to a problem. This is where I get a lot of the OMG!! HE'S JUST LIKE JW from because, really, that's how he gets talked about-—like this scene for example.
Really, he's just some highly professional, efficient, and will-driven businessman that can be like a force of nature if you personally agitate him. Truly an angel to some, a demon to others.
GETTING IN CONTACT WITH THE DEMON
Sort of just an altered version of how you'd get ahold of him in a supernatural sense. He's got a business card with nothing but a number that usually gets passed around by people he's already worked with, sometimes it's by word of mouth. You call or text this number, you get meeting instructions, the line becomes unreachable.
#if i was a canon this would be cool as shit but because clark's an oc i know i gotta defend this shit with my LIFE#anyway besties this is literally all he does. he is ALWAYS doing stuff either underground or over. but literally every day he is in meeting#he is making them business smoves. so like with hustling like that this is totally a realistic outcome oKAY#i also really want to emphasize that he really only has things like time and stamina etc on his side. clark does this to keep occupied and#so he doesn't just strongarm shit with his powers because that would make things easy and that defeats the whole purpose of this dfkjbgd#so he really just UHHH explodes ppl or uses his powers when like he has no other choice :')#i also take a lot of inspo from BBC sherlock's moriarty (i know im soRRY)#consulting criminal sort of. if you have a problem he fixes it. easy :)))#(;hc)#cw long post#this was WAY MORE put together in my head at 9am fkjgdgf i get out of work and im so fog brained aaaaaa#anyway i love clark pls talk to me about him being a fucking boogeyman esque character in the criminal world fkjdbgdg#;important
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my concept of text length is so messed up bc for fic i go by wc and i'm always like 2k is not a lot but for my side hustle i usually write 2.5k-3k characters and it can feel so endless if the material isn't giving me anything to go off
#leni talks#about writing#my rbei fic is currently 1.7k words and 11.2k characters#my side hustle text is 200 words and 1.3k characters#i still need at least one k and i have a lot of filler slots to get to but ugh
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150 things to do when you're bored 🧸🍰🍓
make a journal and write down about your dreams.
try baking a cake.
draw sanrio characters.
learn choreo of the song 'war of hormones' by bts.
stream bts songs or your favorite band's songs.
clean your room.
play any cute mobile games like Purrfect Tale, Resonance of Ocean, Resortopia, Sumikkogurashi Farm, Rhythm Hive, HelloKittyWorld2 Sanrio Kawaii and more. (these are available on android)
plant some trees.
watch any ghibli studio movie.
declutter your phone.
watch some aesthetic japan vlogs.
read a book.
do some skincare.
make a playlist on spotify about the songs you would like to play if you owned a cute café.
write a book about your dream world.
do pilates.
try coquette aesthetic makeup.
start crocheting.
go for a bicycle ride.
have picnic with friends or alone.
watch youtube videos.
go stargazing.
try skateboarding.
go for a walk and observe the beautiful nature and then journal about it.
try cooking with your partner or friends
make a youtube channel.
start a side hustle.
start blogging.
read your favorite blogs.
listen a podcast.
write a song about your favorite person.
make music on bandlab.
write down goals you want to achieve.
learn new language.
re-organise your closet.
take a day off from social media.
take a nap.
organise your pinterest boards.
write a poem.
write a letter to yourself.
make a cute diy necklace.
invent a cute game to play with your friends.
learn to count in another language.
look through a cookbook and try something new.
water the plants.
pray.
try meditating for 5 minutes.
read my blogs :) <3
draw cute doodles.
make cute things out of air dry clay.
create cute diy stickers.
bake cookies in cute fun shapes.
build a blanket fort and read a book inside while eating snacks.
create a scrapbook of favorite memories.
paint rocks with colorful cute designs.
make cute bracelets for your bestfriend.
write a cute story about fairies.
make homemade popsicles with fruit juice.
watch the sunset or sunrise and take a moment to appreciate the beauty of nature.
go for a nature walk and collect interesting leaves or stones.
have a movie marathon with your favorite films.
have a fashion show with clothes from your closet.
design and decorate your own phone case.
create a memory jar filled with notes of happy moments.
design and paint your own ceramic plant pots.
learn about law of attraction.
do research about the history of something of your interest like 'how it was invented?', 'who started it?'.
create your own font.
play an old online game.
try a coloring app.
work on your wish list.
paint your nails.
take a bubble bath.
start a garden.
make your own short movie with your phone.
complete a puzzle.
write about the most beautiful dream you have ever saw.
organize your house.
make a smoothie.
put an appreciation message on a balloon and let it go.
complete a challenge like 30 day self care challenge, 30 day writing challenge and more.
visit a local art gallery.
watch a lecture or TED talk.
read a self-help book.
read a book on astronomy.
click aesthetic pictures of nature.
make your phone look aesthetic.
give your bedroom a makeover on ghibli studio aesthetic.
create a toothpick tower.
practice writing from your non dominate hand.
write about what a day in your dream life looks like.
take out your pet for a walk.
make something wearable for your pet.
learn about how to beat procrastination.
make a little plushie out of your old socks.
learn a new skill.
make a cute website in carrd.co.
write down 10 things you're grateful for.
sit by a river.
visit a local bakery.
walk around a lake.
scroll on pinterest about nature.
walk in the rain.
watch classic films.
watch fashion shows on youtube.
get a haircut.
drink water, take care of yourself <3
read some beauty tips.
watch ballet videos.
write a quote on moon.
say yes to everything for a day.
read some interesting articles.
watch your comfort movie.
write a fiction story.
make your own calendar.
have an indoor picnic with your partner.
write a list of things you will do with your bestie.
crochet something for your loved one or yourself.
learn graphic designing.
write 10 beautiful things about yourself.
make paper stars.
explore interesting websites.
explore your neighborhood.
make a yummy snack.
make hwachae.
try origami.
write a list of your favorite songs explaining why you love it.
watch run bts.
read some manga.
make strawberry cake.
watch conan gray's old vlogs <3
watch onegai my melody :D
design and launch a cute social media challenge to spread positivity and creativity online.
host a themed dinner party with your friends where everyone dresses up and brings a dish from a different culture.
have a spa day at home complete with homemade facemasks, bath bombs, and soothing music.
design a pretty jewellery.
draw your dream house.
try out guided meditation videos (you will find in youtube).
learn about a new culture.
make homemade jam.
do a random act of kindness.
research and plan a future trip.
try a new type of workout video.
research and practice self-defense techniques.
try a new type of creative writing (screenwriting, playwriting, etc.).
try a new type of DIY beauty product (lip balm, body scrub, etc.).
watch a documentary.
learn about constellations and stargaze.
practice calligraphy.
do a riddle.
#150 things to do when you're bored#jnquette#self care#self healing#self love#self worth#loablr#wonyoungism#pink pilates princess#studyblr
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june gloom - r.c.
(Rafe Cameron x pogue!reader, 4.5k words)
summary: After 8 beautiful months tangled up with the richest man on the island, your trist comes to a screeching hault when it's time for him to find a girl more suited to his lifestyle. Even though you tried to move on, a photo of a new girl on his arm sends you both into a spiral that ends with him back in your bed.
content: angst/smut, drinking, smoking, what could be perceived as infidelity but technically isn't. this story is 18+ minors do not interact.
You met him in September, at a nightclub on the mainland. You had been dancing with your girlfriends all night, celebrating your best friend’s bachelorette party. It was the fourth bachelorette you’d been to in a year, now at the age when all of your friends were settling down and getting married. There was no ring in sight for you, though. Your friends would laugh and call you the wild stallion, a running joke among the group that no man could tame you. You never saw the point in marriage. You were stubbornly independent, insistent that you would make your own way in the world, promising yourself you’d never be just someone’s little wife.
You knew this choice meant you’d struggle a little more than your friends, most of whom ‘married-up’ financially. You didn’t grow up with money, and you didn’t have any now. You had spent your whole life on The Cut and you had no problem spending the rest of it there. If the trade off for living your life however you wanted was hustling and jumping between dead-end jobs, so be it. You were much more interested in collecting stories anyway, always looking for wild nights and strange characters to fill your life with, briefly, not keeping anyone around for too long.
You went out every weekend, no Monday 9-to-5 looming over your fun. You’d brought many guys back to the little shack by the water that you rented, your barely-one-bedroom, as you called it lovingly. All the other bachelorette parties ended up with you bringing some guy back to your apartment for some pretty good sex and a completely ingenuine “I’ll text you sometime.” So when you stepped off the dance floor, sweat making your silk-slip dress cling to your curves, and the bartender handed you a drink that was a gift “from that guy over there” you smiled wide, knowing this night would go exactly as planned.
You smiled slyly at the tall blond in the corner as you took a delicate sip of your drink. He was gorgeous, eyeing you up and down like he was starved for you. His large frame was crowding the booth of the VIP section as he winked and lifted his glass to you in salute.
This time, there was a problem. This time, the sex wasn’t pretty good. This time, the sex was earth shatteringly incredible. You genuinely didn’t know sex could be that good, that a guy you met at a bar could ever be capable of making you feel so euphoric, or come so hard, so many times. You didn’t know your own body was capable of the things he got it to do. You didn’t think you’d ever want to stay up talking and laughing with one of your hook-ups like you did that night. You didn’t think you’d ever wake up disappointed that the guy from the night before wasn’t in the bed next to you. And you definitely didn’t think you’d ever be the one to pull out your phone and text him first.
After that night, you saw each other regularly. It turned out he lived on the island too, though his estate was on the rich side of town. That first night, he only told you his first name. But when he had you put your number in his phone and text yourself so you’d have his, a note popped up at the top of the text thread that said “maybe: Rafe Cameron.” You recognized the surname immediately, it was everywhere on this island. After he left the second time, you googled him. Thousands of hits came up, articles about his family, pictures of them at their estate, on their yacht, at charity galas and property groundbreakings. Even though you knew his drive back from your place was only a couple of minutes, every night when he snuck out into the darkness, you couldn’t help but feel like he was retreating to a completely different universe.
After a few weeks, Rafe’s late night visits started getting longer and longer. After he’d fold you into shapes you didn’t know you could make and fuck you breathless, you’d lay in your bed, his head on your chest, smoking a joint and talking for hours. You talked about everything, the conversations weaving between casual chats about your common interests, to deep talks about purpose, values, and trauma, to joking around and teasing each other until you were giggling below him and he was smiling into the skin of your neck.
You’d tell him about your plans to never settle down and keep chasing the next adventure. He’d tell you about his asshole of a father and the grand plans he had for him. Neither of you ever acknowledged how antithetical your life plans were. The truth that nothing real would ever work between you would hang in the air everyone once in a while, but you’d just push away the tension with a joke and fuck again.
Even though your nights together would bleed well into the early morning, Rafe never stayed over. It was an unspoken rule between you, he never told you he wanted to stay and you never asked him to. You told yourself it was a good thing, exactly what you wanted, as you shivered in your empty bed and cursed the loss of his warmth.
One night, that May, you and Rafe sat on your bed, eating the take-out he had ordered to your apartment after you’d finished fucking. He was quieter than usual, distracted. Just a little earlier, he had gone down on you for longer than he ever had. Taking his time, praising every inch of you with kisses. He whispered little nothings into the soft skin of your inner thighs before devouring you. “So beautiful” and “so good to me, baby” and “all I can fucking think about.” He always talked to you sweetly, saying the nicest words while doing the filthiest things to you, but this time was different. Typically he was rough, which you loved, but this night he moved slowly, without his usual urgency. He brought you to orgasm on his tongue twice, before fucking you in missionary, his forehead against yours as you came at the same time. Since that moment, he’d barely said anything to you outside of asking what you wanted for dinner.
You sat in silence and picked at the Chinese food he’d gotten from your favorite place. You watched him as he shifted uncomfortably on the mattress and twirled a chopstick between his long fingers.
“You don’t like your food?” You asked him hesitantly.
“Hmm?” He looked at you for the first time in several minutes. “Oh, no it’s fine, it’s good.”
His smile was tight as he set the containers on your nightstand, out of the way.
“Really? ‘Cause you didn’t eat any of it,” you pointed out. You hoped your teasing would loosen him up a bit, but he just sighed and rubbed his eyes with the heels of his hands.
“Hey, is everything okay?” You asked quietly, your hand reaching out to gently pat his leg. You had never seen him like this before and had no idea how to proceed.
He looked up at you and leaned back against the headboard, biting the skin around his thumbnail. You were getting nervous.
“Rafe?”
“I, uh, had a talk with my dad today,” he muttered.
“Oh?” You raised your eyebrows in curiosity. “And how did that go?”
“About as good as you might think,” he chuckled humorlessly.
Even though you didn't know his dad, after the many stories Rafe had told you about his father’s temper and general disapproval of him, you hated him.
You sat in silence, hand still on Rafe’s knee, as you waited for him to tell you more.
“He said, uh…” Rafe stalled, like he was struggling to find the right words.
“He said what?” Your heartbeat quickened in anticipation, the unfamiliarity of his tone throwing your thoughts into chaos.
When he still didn’t answer, you whispered, “Rafe you’re making me nervous.”
He responded to this, clearly feeling bad when he realized he had you on edge. He placed his hand over yours and finally made eye contact with you. You tilted your head and tried to read his expression with no luck.
“He told me he wants to make me the VP of Acquisitions at Cameron Development,” he finally said.
You shook your head slightly as a big smile of relief spread across your face.
“Oh,” you half-chuckled. “Well, Rafe, that's great! That’s what you wanted right?” You placed your other hand on his forearm and shook him playfully. “That’s good news, why are you acting like someone died? Jesus, you scared me!”
He smiled at the gesture, you knew he liked the way you’d mess with him. But then he straightened up more against the headboard, pulling away from you slightly.
“That’s not all he said,” he explained.
“What else? He’s going to give you a million dollars?” You joked.
“No,” he said sternly, making the smile fall from your lips immediately. “He said if I want this promotion that I need to get my shit together and…settle down.”
“Oh,” your brows furrowed as you considered his meaning, not quite understanding at first. When it hit you, you pulled your hands away from him completely. “Oh.”
“Y/n,” Rafe whispered, observing the way your lips curved down slightly.
“You’re ending this,” you said flatly, gesturing between the two of you.
“I didn’t say that,” he winced.
“But you are, though, I mean you have to,” you had steeled yourself into an impassive tone, trying to come across as unaffected.
Internally, you were on fire, feeling so foolish for how happy and giggly you had just been, oblivious to the fact that you were essentially being dumped.
Neither of you had ever said this was exclusive, you weren’t a couple, there was no commitment made. Still, the way he’d talk while he was inside of you made your head dizzy with the possibility of it all. There was an alternate universe out there somewhere in the cosmos, where he made you his for real, claimed you in public, put a ring on your finger. Sometimes, when he was so deep you were seeing stars and telling you how much he “loved being inside of his girl” you’d allow yourself to get lost in the fantasy, just for a minute.
Then you’d wake up alone, still poor, still a pogue. You’d light up a cigarette and let the smoke engulf your delusions.
“Yeah,” he nodded. “He made it very clear that he expects me to find someone soon, to get married and start a family. I can’t do that with you, obviously.”
Obviously. Your throat tightened at the hurtful assertion.
“Right, obviously,” you agreed. “I mean I’m just a pogue who lives in this shithole and you should be with someone more worthy of you.”
“No, that’s not what I meant,” Rafe muttered, closing his eyes tight in frustration. “I meant, ‘cause you know, you don’t want all that.”
You rolled your eyes. “It’s okay, Rafe, I get it,” you scoffed. “This was never meant to be a long term thing anyway, we’re just fucking.”
It was such a ridiculous assertion, your trist had gone so far past just fucking, but you needed to convince yourself it was true otherwise there was no way you’d make it out of this unscathed.
Rafe just blinked back at you for a minute before standing from your bed. You were grateful he was moving quickly, the last thing you wanted to do was let him see you cry.
“Right, just fucking,” he agreed. “And I need someone who can run a house and have a family, y'know, and understands my world.”
Every single word felt like a knife in your gut. You nodded like you couldn’t agree more, shuffling down in your bed and pulling the covers up.
“Okay then,” you fluffed your pillow, as if it was any other night and you were just getting ready for bed. “I hope it all works out. This was fun, though. Lock the door on your way out?”
Rafe looked down at you for a few seconds, your back to him as you settled into your pillows.
“You got it,” he answered.
And then he was gone. And for the first time in your life, you cried yourself to sleep.
It was June now, a month had passed since the night you last spoke to Rafe. You had started going out even more than you were before you met him. You friends joked that you were alive from the dead, since you had chosen nights in with Rafe over social events for so many months.
You were dancing at the same club where you met Rafe so many months earlier. You joined a few of your girls at the bar and waved down the bartender for another drink.
“...posted on her story,” you leaned in to catch the end of your friend’s sentence. The girls were all leaning over to look at something on one of their phones.
“What are we looking at?” You slurred, already a few drinks deep.
The girl holding the phone told you they were looking at the instagram of a local influencer you all knew of.
You made a fake gagging noise. She was one of the richest girls on the island, infamous among you and your friends for her obnoxiously lavish lifestyle and her overly edited social media pictures.
“Ew, why?” you questioned them, accepting your usual drink from the bartender with a wink.
“Look at what she posted tonight,” your friend holding the phone showed you the screen.
You studied the photo, your grasp around the cold glass got tighter as you took it in, your knuckles going white. It was a selfie - the girl you couldn't stand all done up in diamonds and red lipstick, gazing up lovingly at Rafe Cameron.
There was no caption, just a little heart-eyes emoji and his instagram tagged.
You never told your friends about you and Rafe. You felt strangely protective over what you had with him, not willing to hear any negative feedback about fucking around with a Kook prince. You knew they wouldn’t understand how perfect and intense your nights with him were. They wouldn’t believe that he was funny, sweet, tender. No one would ever know him like you did.
Like you used to know him.
You took a sip of your drink and tried to act unaffected by the picture. In reality, your world was crashing around you. You knew he’d find his perfect Kook princess eventually, but you didn’t know it would be so soon, or that it would be her. You half-listened as one of the girls explained that she heard from a mutual friend that they weren’t official yet, but you knew they would be soon enough. Everything would go to plan for him, he’d get everything he ever wanted and you’d just watch through a screen.
After telling your friends you had a headache, you took a ferry back to the island and walked to your apartment in the dark. It was a questionable choice in this part of town, but you needed the early summer night air to clear your brain. By the time you got back to your apartment you were sober, and yet you still felt like you might throw up.
You ran the shower in your tiny bathroom, letting the steam fill up the space and sink into your pores. The hot water turned your skin red and blotchy, but you couldn’t feel a thing.
BANG BANG BANG.
Your eyes flew open and you turned the faucet off quickly, hands shaking in panic. It was nearly 2 a.m. and someone was pounding on your front door. You wrapped a towel around yourself and padded lightly over the front door.
“Who is it?” You yelled, trying to sound as menacing as possible.
“It’s me,” a deep voice answered from the other side. You peered into the peephole, even though you didn’t need to see him to know who the voice belonged to.
Rafe stood on the other side, his white button up untucked and his tie loosened. It must be the same outfit he was wearing in the picture.
Your body and brain both paused, unable to process the shock of seeing him standing under your porch light.
“What do you want?” You questioned.
“Can I come in please?” His voice was strained, weak even.
“Why?” You said with a guarded edge to your tone.
“Y/n…” Rafe pleaded.
Despite every instinct you had, you opened the door.
He looked frenzied, his hair tousled, and the hem of his suit pants splattered with mud. He still looked fucking hot, his sleeves rolled up a bit, revealing his muscular forearms.
“What happened to you?” You asked.
“I walked here.” His eyes flickered up and down your figure, taking in the sight of you in just a towel, licking his lips.
Your stomach tightened at the hunger in his eyes, but the pain of the last month burned fresh in your mind. Getting over him was the hardest thing you’ve ever done, and the long, painful process wasn’t even over yet. Seeing that picture tonight was just another sharp spike in the barbed wire he had wrapped around your heart.
“She couldn’t have given you a ride?” You spat at him.
He sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. He didn’t need to ask who you were referring to.
“I asked her not to post that picture, I didn’t want you to see that,” he huffed.
“Why not? I knew it was coming." You summoned the same unbothered tone from the night he left you.
“We’re not-” he stumbled over his words, looking down at his feet. “She isn’t my girlfriend…”
“Yet." You jumped to the end of his sentence for him. His eyes flew up to yours. “But she will be,” you surmised with a sad smile.
He doesn’t disagree with you.
“She’s perfect,” you continue. “Gorgeous, rich, part of your world.”
He sighs regretfully, both of you recognizing the words he said to you a month earlier.
“I know,” he agrees.
“Then why did you come here?”
He doesn’t answer you, just clenches his jaw and keeps his eyes firmly locked to yours.
“She’s everything you wanted,” you point out.
He nods his head in agreement again, “you’re right.”
“So then why are you here?” You repeat.
He cocks his head to the side ever so slightly, blue eyes locked onto your lips.
“‘Cause she’s not you.”
You wish it didn’t make your heart race, wish it didn’t make your stomach flip, and you really wish it didn’t make you let out a small, nearly inaudible gasp. His heavily lidded eyes fogged over with need as he studied your face intently. Your gaze dropped from his eyes, to his lips, to his heaving chest, to his wringing hands. He flexed his fingers anxiously, and you wished you didn’t know what they felt like buried inside of you.
Your mind was racing, a million thoughts and most of them were warnings. You knew how this ends, the morning would come and he wouldn't be there. And a year from now they’ll be married and you’ll be haunted by this night. Every self-protective instinct you have left screamed in your head, pleading with you to make the right choice.
You were ready to appease the voices, about to close the door in his face, when his fingers reached towards you and just barely grazed the seam of your towel, tugging slightly with the most restraint you think he’s ever shown. All the noise in your head just stopped. Suddenly there was nothing in the entire world except for the man in front of you.
“Fuck, Rafe,” you breathed out hard and fast before grabbing his face in both of your hands and crashing your lips into his.
He lost it at the sound of his name on your lips and the taste of you on his tongue. His hands landed firmly on your waist, squeezing hard. His lips parted yours and his tongue invaded your mouth, hot and greedy. His hands slipped to your lower back, caging you into him with a flex of his biceps. You let out the sweetest little grunt as you jumped up, your arms and legs wrapping around him so he could carry you.
With you in his arms, he walked into your apartment. Still kissing him, you reached out and slammed the door closed. He let go of you with one hand to reach back and turn the lock, a sign of strength as he held up your whole body with one arm like you weigh nothing. He walked you both through your small apartment, not needing to look where he’s going to find your bedroom.
He bent low to drop you on the bed, you released your grip around his shoulders just long enough for him to roughly rip his shirt open and pull it off. He was back on top of you in seconds, lifting you up to scoot you both up to the top of the mattress.
As his lips moved to your neck, you realized you’re already falling back into your old patterns, with Rafe controlling the tempo and doing most of the work. The familiarity made you anxious, you had gotten so addicted to the way he commanded your body and you weren’t sure you’d survive another detox. When he started rolling his hips against you, you could feel how hard and ready he was under his slacks, and made a decision.
You reached up behind his head and laced your fingers through his hair, tugging hard to separate his lips from your skin. A gasp passed through his lips at the sensation.
“You want me, baby?” You purred.
His brows furrowed, but he was too desperate to play games.
“So badly,” he admitted.
“You want to be inside of me?”
His eyes rolled back slightly at the sound of your dirty words. When he didn't answer, you arched your back and pressed up into his aching cock, letting the towel open just enough to expose your bare core, your wetness soaking into the soft fabric of his pants.
“I need it,” he groaned. “Need to feel your pussy around me again.”
At this confession, you released his hair and pressed against his chest to roll him onto his back, straddling him. You kissed him again, just as fevered as before. While your mouth clashed with his, your hands undid his belt and he lifted his hips to allow you to pull his slacks down, leaving him in his snug briefs. You bit his lip, smiling smugly when he moaned. You licked a stripe up his neck, loving the salty taste, Rafe already sweaty from how worked up you’ve got him.
You kiss up his neck, until your mouth is pressed into the shell of his ear.
You whispered, “Does she feel as good as me?”
Rafe said your name in warning, clearly not wanting to talk about her while you were on top of him like this.
You pulled his earlobe between your teeth and bit down, making him wince, pleasured by the pain.
“Answer me,” you demanded.
“N-no,” he stuttered as you pressed your hips down hard, your now dripping pussy sliding over the outline of his cock.
You sat up straight, and he tried to follow you, his head lifting from the pillow, but you laid your hand softly on his chest and pushed him back down.
Rafe watched as you slowly open the towel and dropped it to the floor, revealing yourself completely. He lifted his hands subconsciously, reaching for your tits. You grabbed his wrists and held his hands back, just inches from your skin.
“Does she make you as hard as I do?” You said with another circle of your hips.
He shook his head back and forth rapidly, relenting to your game. You lowered one of his hands, raising your hips off of him slightly, one more question in mind.
He inhaled sharply as you dragged his hand against your pussy, his fingers instinctively rubbing with the perfect pressure.
“Does she get this wet for you, baby?”
“Fuck,” he grunted through clenched teeth, “No.”
You leaned back over him, lips hovering over his, your breath intertwined.
“Then fuck me like you’ll never be able to fuck her.”
Rafe’s restraint snapped in half and he flipped you on your back. He ripped his briefs down with one hand, while the other ran over your calf and brought it to his shoulder.
He filled you like only he can, like he was tailor made for you. You clenched around him hard as he pounded into you, eventually lifting your other leg so you could dig your heels into his shoulder. No more words were exchanged, the ecstasy and exertion and emotion all too intense for either of you to form words.
This is it, you told yourself, tomorrow he’ll belong to her.
The tops of your thighs pressed into your stomach as he bottomed out over and over again. You hoped he would think the water in your eyes was just a result of the pressure. He must've noticed it though, because he threaded his fingers with yours to soothe you, pressing his forehead against your temple, and panting desperately into your ear.
It only took a few more strokes for you both to come. The last time you heard his voice, he was crying out your name. He filled you completely, and you were still dripping with him when he climbed off of you, pulled his clothes on wordlessly, and left.
You laid still for a long while. No tears came to you this time, a bitter acceptance washing over you.
He’s gone for good now, leaving you with another wild story to tell and freeing you to throw yourself into the next adventure. And he’ll have a picture perfect life, with the perfect girl.
You both got exactly what you wanted…
…right?
˚₊ ˚ ‧₊ .:・˚₊ ˚ ‧₊ .:・˚₊ *˚˚₊ ˚ ‧₊ .:・˚₊ ˚ ‧₊ .:・˚₊ *˚˚₊ ˚ ‧₊ .:・˚₊ ˚ ‧₊ .:・˚₊ *˚˚₊ ˚ ‧₊ .:・˚₊ ˚ ‧₊ .:・˚₊ *˚
part 2
#rafe cameron#obx fic#rafe cameron x reader#rafe cameron smut#angst#Rafe cameron angst#obx smut#smut#June gloom#rafe fic#rafe fanfic#rafe obx#rafe cameron fic
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When I say S3 Crosshair was speed-running Hunter’s Dad arc from S1-2, this is what I’m talking about:
They’re the only CF99 members Omega has a one-on-one conversation with in 1.01 "Aftermath"
Both help her escape danger at an evil cloning facility, thanks to unseen assistance from Nala Se (1.01 and 3.03)
Both make a choice to go back for her instead of securing their own freedom (1.01 and 3.04)
Both initially try to send her away, reasoning she'll be better off without them in her lives (1.02 and 1.15)
Both initially tell her to stay away from them for her own sake, but she persists and eventually wins them over (1.01 and 3.01)
Both are mistaken as her dad by other characters (2.13 and 3.04)
Due to Omega's influence/impact on their lives, both of them become open to trying new things. For Hunter, it's things like treasure-hunting and settling down on Pabu. (2.05 and 2.13) For Crosshair, it's things like bribing/hustling people instead of shooting them, and meditating for peace of mind. (3.04 and 3.08)
In S1, Hunter and Omega average one meaningful one-on-one conversation per episode. In S3, Crosshair and Omega average one meaningful one-on-one conversation per episode.
Parallel scenes of her copying their body language, facial expressions and personal quirks (1.01 and 3.06)
Parallel scenes of them checking on her physical and emotional well-being after she’s been in danger (1.09 and 3.07)
Parallel scenes of them watching helplessly as Omega is taken away by an Imperial ship (2.16 and 3.11)
Parallel scenes of Hemlock torturing them after they tried to protect Omega (2.14 and 3.15). FUN FACT: Hunter and Crosshair are the only two CF99 members Hemlock ever talks to.
Parallel scenes of Omega convincing them to let her endanger herself for the greater mission of finding Tantiss: “I need to do this, Hunter” (3.05) VS. “Focus on the bigger mission, Crosshair.” (3.11) In both cases, they are initially unwilling to go along with her plan bc they fear for her safety, but they both ultimately agree to support her brave and selfless decision.
Parallel scenes of Omega purposely endangering herself by attacking her captor, but she has complete confidence that Hunter and Crosshair will save her in 2.10 and 3.15, respectively.
Parallel scenes of Omega absolutely gagging them: “Why not? Isn’t that what soldiers do?” (1.12) VS. “I never gave up on you, did I?” (3.09) FUN FACT: Hunter and Crosshair are even sitting in the same seat on the Marauder in both scenes!!
As someone else pointed out here, parallel scenes/lines of them aiming their guns at someone threatening to take Omega away and saying, “Not happening.” (1.13 and 3.09)
Parallel lines like: “You’re wasting your time — they’ll never turn her over” VS. “Omega’s not going anywhere with you.” (2.14 and 2.16)
Hunter when he tries to send Omega with Cut and Suu: “You have to go, Omega. It’s for your own good.” VS. Crosshair when he tries to have her captured and sent off Kamino: “It’s for her own good, and yours.” (1.02 and 1.15)
Hunter when Cad Bane is after her: “Omega, get behind me.” (1.08) VS. Crosshair when CX-2 and Imperial troopers are after her: “Stick by my side and stay down.” (3.07)
Hunter telling the others to leave him on Daro and Omega protesting in 1.14 VS. Crosshair telling the others to leave while he fights CX-2 and Omega protesting in 3.07. (And, in both cases, she literally had to be pulled away by other “co-parent” in Echo and Hunter, respectively.)
Hunter made a “deal with the devil” in the Devaronian matriarch to try to find Omega in 3.02. Then Crosshair made a deal with a different type of devil in Rampart to find her in 3.12. (And they were both 1,000% done with their respective devils: “We heard your syndicate had the connections needed to find the Imperials’ base, and since we’ve upheld our end of the bargain, now it’s your turn.” VS “We got you off the planet, now tell us where Tantiss is.”)
The first time Hunter ever fully hugs Omega is in 3.04, after she escapes Tantiss the first time. (To clarify: she had hugged him a few times before, but he hadn't really hugged her back.) VS. The first time Crosshair ever hugs Omega is in 3.15 after she escapes Tantiss the second time.
Crosshair telling Hunter in 3.05, "You let Omega be taken to Tantiss. She went through what she did because you failed" ... only for Crosshair to be in the EXACT same situation himself later in S3.
Also, let’s never forget that moment in 3.07 when Crosshair went full Helicopter Parent™️, and Omega said, “You’re as bad as Hunter!” Like, even Omega thought Crosshair was turning into a dad! 😂
Also, after he fully reintegrates into the family at the end of 3.05, Crosshair basically becomes Hunter's "co-parent."
There are several scenes where they are paired together to talk about Omega's safety or something, while Wrecker is elsewhere. (And even when Wrecker is there, the shots tend to focus more on Hunter and Crosshair, like when they find Batcher barking on the beach in 3.09.)
Of course, this all culminates in the final confrontation with Hemlock on the bridge. I don't think Hunter or Crosshair could've navigated that situation alone, especially given their injuries and how high-stakes it was. They HAD to do it together, which has been their approach since 3.05: "Not alone. We'll do it together."
(UPDATE: I go over some of these points more in my CrossDad Episode Rankings post. Give it a read, if you haven’t already!)
#star wars#tbb crosshair#the bad batch#the bad batch crosshair#tbb omega#omega and crosshair#tbb season 3#tbb spoilers#crosshair and omega#crosshair and hunter#hunter and crosshair#crossdad#the dad batch#clone trooper crosshair#crosshair tbb#omega tbb#sw tbb#crossfather
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the leaders. (m)
pairing/wc; woosan/f.reader, 14.7k summary; you wake up in a rusty cell, an oddly familiar helping you out. once you step out into the world, it hits you – this is in fact the wildwest, and somehow, the singers you adore are cowboys? content; wild-west au, violence, guns, murder, smut. overuse of cowboy terms/slang, obsessive behavior note; again, may seem familiar since i have written this before on a different blog with different characters ♡
You gasp, eyes flicking around. Bars surround you, dust underneath your fingertips. You move forward, tugging on the iron that prevents you from leaving. A groan leaves your lips.
“How the hell did I get in here?” You grumble.
“Pretty ladies like ya aren’t supposed to be cursing,” You hear a voice say behind you. You roll your eyes at the words and turn, eyes widening. He wears a long brown trench coat, leaning against the bricks behind him as he looks up, before his gaze meets yours. You could remember those bright eyes which are now partly covered by the shadow from his hat.
Choi San. And here he is, odd sounding and covered in dirt and grim, probably from trying to get out like you were just doing. But there’s something different about him. He doesn’t resemble the man you remember from the shows. More country is the only way you can describe it.
“I think you would curse too if you wake up in a cell,” you murmur. “Why are you here, anyway? Shouldn’t you be at a show or something?”
He laughs, shaking his head. “I ain’t no puppet, darling. And my boys will be here soon.” He stops talking, listening to the shouts outside. “Speaking of which…” He moves away from the wall, leaping forward to bring you into his arms. You shove against his chest, ready to cause a scene before the loud sound of a bomb exploding breaks your eardrums.
The walls blow down, San covering you with his body as debris flies. After a few more seconds, he kicks open the jail door with remarkable strength, running out. Before he jumps through the hole, he looks at you. You can see the gears running through his head as he thinks, before dusting off his black hat.
"We don't have all damn day, S!" A voice rings out, bringing you both back to reality. San rolls his eyes.
"Well, my chucklehead pal W over there could use some explaining to do, but he's not the ripest apple in the bunch," San points over to a man too far away for you to spot, his hand holding out for yours. "But I always have room to help a lady. Take my hand here, and I'll be off your back in a jiffy."
You stare at it for a moment before he takes in a big gulp of air, pulling you from the ground. You yelp, tumbling into his arms.
His smile widens as he sees how close you're pressed to his chest, a wicked grin plastered on his cheeks. "Ah, I don't seem to remember the last time a fine lady like yourself fell into my arms." He holds you back, tipping his hat once.
"S, I swear on my mom’s grave—!"
"Ah, I'm coming ya deadbeat!" He looks back at you sympathetically.
"Unfortunately, I don't have time to be more gentlemanly, my partners get a bit under the weather whenever I delay. I gotta hop on outta here before the sheriff comes and see what’s the hustle and bustle, but I do think I'll be seeing the likes of you soon enough." He nods his head once at you, before hopping onto his horse.
"See you in a hog killin' time, pretty lady!"
He coaxes the horse forward, yelling out a loud yip before galloping off. If you squint hard enough, you can see a few more horses running off into the sunset. Your mind runs miles per minute, glancing around. Old stables and buildings surround you, too real and old to be just an amusement park or a movie set. You walk slowly into town, glancing over at a poster that’s nailed into the side of a tree.
Wanted:
$10,000 REWARD!
Mischief group of bandits called “The Leaders”
Bribery, Murder, Thief
Please contact Sheriff Kim Hongjoong if spotted.
Portraits are displayed below, but one sticks out to you. One smile that you’ve seen just moments ago, busting you out of your prison cell that you have no idea how you got into. You blink slowly. Shit. Shit. You pinch your skin, wincing at the pain. So this isn’t just a dream. They are actually in the Wild West, and you’re… well, what are you?
"Hey there!"
Your head whips over to a man that's slowly walking over to you, his hands on his waist as he takes you in. Your eyes widen as you trail over his fingers. Spokes on the back of his boots, slacks dirty from wear and tear, pronounced belt head that still barely manages to keep his pants up. Best tucked into that, a silver sheriff's badge hanging on his shirt pocket. Your eyes flick up to his face, eyes popping out of your head as you realize who's standing in front of you. Hongjoong stands there, eyes narrowed as he takes you in.
"You don't look like you're from 'round here, young lady."
Young lady? There's barely a difference in your ages, not enough for him to speak like that to you. But you clear your throat, trying your best to sound at least a little like them.
"Howdy." Shit. For effort, you'd give yourself an A+, even though the grinding teeth and wink probably drops that down to a failure. His hand slowly wavers over his gun, and you could imagine this now. Being killed by Kim Hongjoong? Not sure if that's your life goal, but it's not a bad reputation to have. "What if I told you that I'm from the future?"
"I'd think you're trying to play games with me, miss," he says simply, slowly taking his hand away from his waist. "Where you from?"
Taking your chances and saying you don't remember is the best bet. If you even explained that he was from a popular band and you have no clue why you're suddenly transported into a wild west, starring them as if this is a horrible, yet fascinating dream. Amnesia path it is.
"I don't remember. I just woke up in a cell, and then this guy kicked me out of jail with dynamite? And he said something about having to leave and—"
"Wait one second!" Hongjoong holds up his hand. "You were involved in that escape that yahoo just did? Do you know each other?"
Yahoo. This man, with his full chest, really said yahoo. Trying to stifle back a laugh, you shake his head.
"I've never seen him in my life, and if I did I don't remember it. But," you gesture to the wanted poster next to you. "I'm assuming he's a notorious criminal."
Hongjoong paused, eyes flicking between you, your outfit, and the poster. He moves his hand away from his belt, crossing his arms as he sighs. "We've been trying to catch him and his group of bandits for months and we've just caught up with him. But yet again, he slips through our fingers." He runs his fingers through his hair, eyes moving to yours. "You couldn't be part of them anyway, too soft and they wouldn't be leaving any strays behind."
Wow. You don't know whether to be offended or pleased that he believes you. At least that gun of his isn't being pointed at you.
His gaze is focused on the destroyed wall behind you. "Why did he help you out, do you know? Because I don't even remember you being kept in there, but it's strange that he'd take the time to rescue a lady. Those men don't have any morals, at least any that I can see. Do you mind coming with me, miss...?"
He waits for your name expectantly.
"y/n. It's y/n. And I wouldn't be able to tell you why he helped me either, usually I'd say it's from the kindness of his heart but since he's a criminal..." you trail off.
He clicks his tongue, nodding once. "Ah, yes. Don't remember hearing your name round these parts neither. But your talk is a little fancier than mine, maybe you're from some town far away. I can bring you to the town doctor, but I'd rather we go on foot. Just in case you got something wrong with your organs or whatnot."
Hongjoong gestures in front of him, and you walk alongside him. "Do you know anything about our little town? Ah, wait," he rubs the back of his neck, a soft blush creeping on his cheeks. "You wouldn't know even if you did, since that memory loss of yours. We here are in a little town of mine called Mist."
...Mist.
"Not many folks pass by and stay, so most of these people you see walking down these streets are their mama and pop's third or fourth generation of family. We are a crop growing town, not a mining one. We aren't the richest or the poorest, just right in the middle. My pap and his pap before him were corn crackers, but I ended up being the sheriff, much to their dismay." He smiles down at you, his teeth shining in the burning sun. You'd never thought you'd be standing this close to him, but you'd rather not dwell on it.
It looks like Mist is ripped straight out of the history books. Streets lined with a saloon, a library, small homes and other knick knack shops. Rust covers most surfaces, horses neighing as you walk by. Your hand itches to pet the glossy fur, feel their hair between your fingers. But you know you'll just scare them off, and being kicked by that brunt force isn't on your agenda.
Hongjoong talks on and on about the history of his home, explaining that San used to be a citizen of it as well. "Strayed. Found that being here wasn't his cup of tea, wanted to make a name for himself. We were good pals back in the day, some would say brothers. But I wanted to walk the straight and narrow, and that was too good for him. Wonder what could've happened if I arrested him that day he robbed the general, what would've become of him." Hongjoong sighs.
"I still wanted to fix our friendship, you see. Even now, I still see the good in him, between his robbing and stealing. I see the Choi San who wanted to be a farmer when he was younger, before he banded the Leaders."
"Do you know the other people who are a part of it?" You ask, and Hongjoong shrugs.
"All we know is that there's many of them. W, a few others, and San. Our people haven't been able to identify anyone but San and a few others, since they are the face of the group. Know him enough that he'll keep the people he cares about hidden. Kept away from the public eye. Which makes me think why you aren't someone special to him," he smiles at you. "Not sure if you'd want to be, miss. Being with him only leads down a treacherous path. Full of murder and blood on your hands."
"I'll keep that in mind," you nod softly. Is this what San would be like in an alternate world? In this alternate reality? Dangerous, full of anger and greed? You just can't imagine the kind man being that cruel. There has to be more behind it, more than Hongjoong even knows.
He clears his throat, standing in front of a door. He knocks once, glancing down at you. "Doc should be in."
The door flings open, showing the town doctor. You should be used to it, seeing the members hanging around. But seeing Choi Jongho in all of his glory, standing in front of you only makes you smile, your mouth struggles to hold back your squeal of delight. He smiles at Hongjoong, before looking at you.
"Ah, what do we have here? Another one of your one nights, Hongjoong? Have you slipped up again?"
Hongjoong hits his arm, his ears burning red. "You know I'm a gentleman, doc. Don't make miss y/n assume things about me!"
Jongho grins, leaning against the door. "Ah, but you’re known as the town heart breaker. So many of our ladies throw themselves at you and you don't budge. Some even thought you swing the other way," he winks. "Not that I would mind. Patient room's always open for you. And for you, miss y/n. What seems to be the problem?"
Whiplash. The only way you can describe it as pure whiplash. This man is a mystery in itself.
"I'm at a loss," Hongjoong mumbles, scratching his head. "She ended up in a cell, next to San and he let her go? Can't recall anything before that."
"Ah, amnesia." Jongho opens his door wider. "Mind taking a seat? Just want to make sure your head is screwed on okay and you don't have any injuries," his eyes flick to your arms. "Although I already see some bruising on those pretty arms a' yours."
You walk into his office, Hongjoong following as they shut the door behind the three of you. So much for doctor-patient confidentiality? Did they not practice it here?
“Usually the sheriff wouldn’t be with a female patient,” Jongho explains, walking over to his tool table. The list of items there are very limited; bandages, an assortment of drugs, syringes, and a few knives here and there. He grabbed what you can only assume is a stethoscope, turning to you. “But this is an extenuating circumstance, is it not?”
He glances over at Hongjoong for a moment, before asking you to breathe in and out as he listens to your heartbeat, looking for any oddities. Hongjoong looks away, his ears burning red. The only thing this sheriff could do is blush, but you don’t mind it. It’s endearing, how he hunts down criminals but turns red when he’s watching you being examined.
“Are you nervous, doll?” Jongho asks, raising a brow at you. “Your heartbeat is rapid, like you just chased a herd of rabbits!”
Hell yes, you’re nervous. Jongho is literally inches away from your face, measuring your heart rate. Who wouldn’t be jumping out of their socks? Oh no. Your thoughts, they’ve turned cowboy and it’s only been a little over an hour.
“A bit,” you confess. “Not really sure where I am or how I got here. Just want to go home, wherever that is.” A small white lie. If you’re really dreaming, hanging out with the men in the wild west isn’t such a bad experience.
“Ah,” he mumbles, resting the scope on his neck. “Does your head hurt? Any throbbing feeling in your limbs?” You shake your head. “Hm, well this is a bit odd, if I think about it.”
“What’s odd?” Hongjoong asks, finally turning back.
“Don’t see any signs of injuries besides her physical cuts and bruises,” He grabs the homemade bandages off the counter. “But this could be something we can’t quite see from our eyes, Joong. Might be some brain disturbance. Can tell she aint lying about the amnesia,” he crouches in front of you, wiping your arm with the antibiotic, lightly wrapping the gauze around your arm. “Has those honest eyes. Bright,” Jongho smiles at you. “Reminds me a bit of Hwa-”
“Ya know not to mention him,” Hongjoong utters, Jongho sighing softly.
“Times are different, you know. Maybe he’ll come back to Mist, see the brighter sides of things…”
“He won’t. San manipulated him. His parents are still in a rut over it.” Hongjoong rubs his neck.
Seonghwa. So he’s part of San’s rebel squad as well. You’d like to ask more about it, but prying into their lives would only make you look suspicious, and you’d rather stay under the radar. Even though Jongho believes you, not everyone will. You’d end up in one of their hospitals rather than home. Somewhere you’d at least want to see one last time.
“But we should bring y/n to the motel. Yeosang owes me a favor, anyway. At least until she recalls her home.” Hongjoong glances at you. “A ways away, it would be better to take Angel.”
“Angel?” You ask, and Hongjoong’s eyes light up.
“My lady. You’d like her, she’s the sweetest gal in this town.”
Jongho rolls his eyes. “Stubborn. Can’t get her to listen to a word, gets all ruffled up. But she might like you, she prefers women.” Jongho clears his throat, stretching his back. “Time for a nap, don’t you say? Keep mind of your head condition, and I’ll give you some bandages. Nothing really happens ‘round here, so we have a large supply.” He passes you a roll. “Fixing to see you ‘round here more often, yea? Maybe Joong will have a more special lady.”
Hongjoong scoffs, his hair growing as red as a tomato. You’d definitely not get used to it. “Ah, shut your mouth, Jongho. Let’s go, ‘fore he makes up some more nonsense.” Hongjoong opens the door, gesturing for you to go ahead.
You hop off the stool, “Thank you, Jongho. Hopefully, I see you without bandaids.”
His eyes sparkle. “Please do. It gets lonely ‘round here without some company. Leave Joong behind, I’ll show ya a good time.” He winks, watching as you go.
-
Hongjoong stands in front of a horse, patting her coat softly, feeding her a carrot. “Hey there, Angel. How’s it goin’, beautiful lady?” He whispers, his smile the widest you’ve seen it. “This here’s y/n, a visitor that’ll ride me with you, so don’t be too mean. Can’t have her runnin’ to the Leaders.”
Hongjoong looks at you, a teasing glint in his eyes. You roll your eyes. Tentatively, you run your fingers along her coat. She whines, moving closer to your touch. Hongjoong nods appreciatively. “She likes you, so that means you're a good one.”
“You’re beautiful, Angel,” You said, and she neighs, pressing her face into your cheek. “How did a lady like you end up with a scruffy sheriff like him?”
A groan falls from Hongjoong lips. “Hey, I grew up with her, mind you! Took care of each other, feeding each other. This’ my best friend, right here.” Hongjoong presses his lips to her coat, before tugging on her saddle, leaping up onto her back with ease. He holds out his hand for you, and you stare at the height.
No fucking way.
“Never hopped on a horse before?” he teases, but you nod. Shock crosses his face. “Wait, you ain’t kidding?”
“I’ve never been this close to a horse.”
He blinks quickly. “Ah, you must be from the city, then. Everyone for miles has been on a horse since a babe. Give me your hand, miss. Won’t be too hard to help you hop on her. You’ll be sitting in front of me, so make sure you don’t fall off the saddle.”
“… Can’t we just walk?”
Hongjoong’s eyes almost boggle out of his head. “What? Did I hear that correctly? It’s a long walk, miss. Too far. And you just been in a traumatic accident, can’t have you falling to the dirt from lack of breathing. Easy once you get the hang of it. Trust me, you'll be clean and clear.”
You grab his hand as he instructs you to put your foot into the stirrup, pulling you up with his full strength. You’re surprised at how strong he is, the lack of effort shown on his face as you sit in the saddle with him. You're partly sitting on his lap, and you’re thankful this time that you don’t have the chance to see his face.
“Keep your self pressed against me, alright? And hold on to that horn- yes, that. We’ll be going slower for you but once you get used to Angel, we’ll gallup the rest a’ ways.”
Hongjoong flicks the straps, and Angel walks forward. You yelp, your hands clawing into his thighs. His breathy laughs tickle your ears. “Ah, you’re definitely gotta be from one of those fancy places. It’s cute.”
“Don’t patronize me, Mr. Sheriff,” You grumble, only causing him to laugh louder.
“And the fancy words too. You'll be fine, I’m here for you, and we won’t be burning the breeze so you needn’t worry ‘bout that.”
You hold on tightly the rest of the way there, Angel slowly going into a steady gallop. Hongjoong chats your ear off about everything and anything, and you’re grateful for his presence. The stardom away, he’s just like anyone else. At least, in the cowboy sense. He’s funny and charming, and you’re a bit curious as to why he hasn’t snagged himself a partner in life yet. From what Jongho says, he’s popular. Popular enough to reject everyone that’s ever appeared.
“Are your standards high?” You ask after a joke of his.
You can’t see his face, but you can only imagine his eyebrows furrowed in confusion. “Pardon, miss?”
“Doctor Jongho was talking about how you reject everyone that’s interested in you, and I was just wondering why, as all. I mean, you seem like a good guy from what I can see, I just don’t understand why you haven’t picked someone special for you. Even Jongho was interested.”
Hongjoong quiet as Angel walks on the grassy path. You quickly think you’ve overstepped, opening your mouth to apologize.
“I didn’t mean to- pry.
“No need to say any sorries, miss.” You hear Hongjoong rub the slight scruff on his face, thinking. “All of their advances felt disingenuous,” he confesses. “They wanted to be involved with me because of my position, not my personality. As you can see, I don’t lack in that department.”
You laugh, not seeing the smile that graces his lips.
“Haven’t gotten along with any people except for long time pals a’ mine. Kinda hard to meet new folks when you're in a town like ours, you see. Same folks and same faces day to day. Gets a bit dry.”
“So I assume that you’re happy that I’m here,” You joke.
You don’t see the panic crossing his face, the gulp as he looks away from your head for a moment. “I am, miss y/n. You bring bit a’ spring to my step… Ah, we’re here!” He reigns in Angel, resting her at the stall slightly away from the building. It’s only two floors high, but it’s long, probably home to a dozen or so rooms. Hongjoong hops off of Angel, holding out his arms as he helps you down.
You trip a bit falling off, landing in his arms. He steadies you easily, the usual pink on his face. “Should be more careful, miss. Some men aren’t as kind as myself.”
“Oh, you kind?” You hear a laugh, and turn to the new voice. Blond hair tucked into a hat, he leans against a pole that holds up the building, looking between the both of you. “Not used to seeing the Sheriff entertaining traveling folks. Assuming that you’re y/n?” His eyes flick to you, and you nod. “Ah, the woman spotted with one of those Leader men. Surprised you didn’t arrest her immediately, Sherriff. Loose ends don’t end up tied ‘round here as of late.”
“Ah, Yeosang, be nice for once, will you? She’s not involved with ‘em. Can’t even think back to before today. One of those fancy folk, you know? Probably came from the city.”
Yeosang’s eyes trail over your figure, narrowing his eyes as he takes in your clothing. You’re wearing a t-shirt and jeans, completely different from the corsets that you’ve seen the women wear around there. You wished that Hongjoong offered something so you didn’t stick out like a sore thumb, but to no avail. And you’re a guest to this town, so asking for something when you’re already unwelcomed would be pushing the little luck that you have.
“Didn’t think to give her a new pair of those? She’s practically in the nude in that wear.” He leans up from his spot, walking over to the both of you. His walk is lazy, stare matching. He holds up a bit of hay to Angel, her eating it out of his hands as he eyes Hongjoong. “No wonder you wanted to ride Angel over here. Haven’t felt another in a bit, hm?”
“You and Doctor Jongho seem to like to tease,” You say, earning a raised brow from him.
“Joong here grew up with us. Feed the same bread and wore the same trousers. Families closer than two peas in a pod. Joking is in our blood. Would ya like a new pair of clothes? Get you in something that won’t make the men ‘round here ogle you , their minds aren’t that pure as you can see.” He gestures to Hongjoong standing just feet away from you. “Didn’t even bother offering, his dirty mind.”
“Hey-!”
“I would like that, thank you. But, could I wear some trousers instead? Those skirts are too tight fitting and I can’t move in them.”
Yeosang’s grin slowly spreads across his face as he looks at you. “Thinking that I’ll like you more than the other misses he brings ‘round. Anything you need, miss y/n. Speaking of needs, Hongjoong. Why’d you bring her in these parts? It’s not the calmest area in our town. Could get hurt.”
Hongjoong glances around, seeing obvious sketchy people walking around. Some spot him and turn in the opposite direction. “Need a favor. She needs some place to stay-”
“So you thought it would’ve been an excellent idea to waltz over here and give her to me. Have enough of those skum walking through my doors, don’t need more eyes to cover an innocent virgin.”
You scoff at him, and he looks at you sympathetically. “In their eyes, you are.”
“Please, having her at my home won’t be proper, you know how the townspeople talk. City slicker in my home will only lead to chit-chatting.”
Yeosang places his hat back on top of his head, thinking. “How long?”
“I can’t quite tell ya that. Don’t know when her memory is going to come waltzing back in and saying howdy. Give her a few weeks, give or take.”
Yeosang grumbles, but nods. “Favors gone now, sheriff,” his eyes move over to you. “Let’s get you set up in some proper cow-poke slacks. Wouldn’t mind seeing you in some fancy clothing, though,” His grin widens as he looks at you.
That was flirting. That was definitely flirting. Your face warms as he tips his hat to Hongjoong, gesturing for you to walk ahead. You turn back to Hongjoong, and he nods once, lifting his hat up slightly.
“I’ll be in contact with you, keep your ears clean and your eyes open. Those bandits could be anywhere, and Yeosang’s place is prime time for their kind. Won’t be surprised if they slip ‘round here, causing a ruckus.”
“Not in my place,” Yeosang grumbles.
“Thanks, Sheriff Hongjoong. For bringing me here, and trying to keep me safe.”
Hongjoong flushes, “Ah, no need to thank me, miss. It’s only my job, even if you’re a city slicker.” He teases. He gets back on Angel, whistling at you once before disappearing down the dirt path.
Yeosang clears his throat next to you. “I’ll show you to the back. Can't quite find your size, but pick off these racks here and sure enough find something."
Yeosang holds the door open for you, gesturing to the racks in front of you. "Don't quite trust you by the way, miss y/n. Popping up 'round here out of the blue and yip yapping about some amnesia. Jongho a doc, but he ain't the brightest tool in the shed."
He eyes you. “You don’t even talk like a city-slicker or country folk. Can’t quite pin you down yet. Just don’t bring no trouble ‘round here, and we’d be peachy. Got that?”
“I do,” You say, Yeosang completely reading you. He’s even analytical in the wild west, but you shouldn’t have expected anything less. You’re surprised Hongjoong or Jongho didn’t peep a word about your accent. Maybe they think you’re from some far off town, a place where no one speaks in their slang. “I won’t cause a ruckus, either. Thank you for your hospitality.” You try speaking like him, a grin on your face.
He only rolls his eyes in response. “Nice try. I’m leaving your key hanging on your door, just outside. Grab it whenever you’re ready and your room will be prepared. Some gal will be bringing you more clothing for your stay.”
He gives you a wave as you thank him, closing the door behind him. You stare at the racks in front of you, grabbing whatever looks close enough to your size to wear. You tuck your feet into the boots and stare at the hats. It tempts you, your mouth watering, thinking about living out your cowboy dreams. But you sigh, giving them one last, longing gaze before leaving.
You’re already an eyesore, everyone looking at you wherever you go. Wearing a hat would only cause more people to ask questions, many you can’t answer. Where did you come from? Why do you speak like that? Wait, you don’t know what “insert term” is? You shower everyday? Endless questions that’ll only leave you in a stuttering mess, palms sweaty. You should probably grab a dress and corset and shove yourself in one, but who do they think you are? Walking around uncomfortable from day to day?
You grab the key that’s hanging outside your door, walking slowly down the hallway. Thankfully your room isn’t too far. You insert the key and unlock it, glancing inside. How the lady or man came into your room quick enough and dropped off clothing is beyond you, but you thank them silently, sitting on the edge of the mattress. The room couldn’t be more than ten by ten, a small window with the thinnest panel you’ve ever seen. You run your fingers along the quilt, humming softly.
What do you do now?
You remember seeing a bar just off the hotel, and nod. Sure, this couldn’t be scary. Just a normal bar in the Wild West. Probably some gunfights and glasses thrown everywhere, but that’s normal enough, you suppose. Maybe you’ll come out with an honorary bloody nose. You walk out of your room, locking the door behind you.
You turn, bumping into a body just outside your door. The impact is rather hard, making you stumble on the rug that’s on the floor. Before you can fall back, a hand grabs you, holding you steady. Your eyes look up, ready to thank the mysterious stranger. Dark eyes stare down at you, thick brows just above them, His hair is long, brushing against the nape of his neck. You never thought during this time there were piercings, but you can see them tracing up his ear, small gold studs. He pulls you up, eyes never leaving yours. You can recognize that man from anywhere, his face so distinct.
“Are you alright, sweet pea?” Wooyoung asks, his deep voice resonating in the quiet hallway. You nod, as he lets you go. He wears black from head to toe, boots shining with a line of silver around the heels. His hat rests on a string, hanging on his neck. He tilts his head, wavy hairs falling to his forehead. “Don’t remember seeing a gal as beautiful as you ‘round.”
You don’t know how to respond, and you can tell by his face that he knows the effect he has on you. He chuckles slowly, ring covered fingers running through his hair. “Fine night, isn’t it? Too dangerous out there for a sweet pea like you to be alone. Where you going?”
You purse your lips. “It’s dangerous out there, like you said. I can’t tell strangers where I’m going.”
He laughs. “Ah, you’re a slick one. I like that.” His eyebrows flick up slightly.
Fuck. The charisma from this man is dripping from his every word, every flick of his eyes. But you keep yourself grounded enough to roll your eyes, giving him your back. You’re not here to flirt.
…
Well, you aren’t sure why you’re here.
“Never had a lady give me her backside,” Wooyoung walks next to you, arms resting on his back. “Haven’t told you my government yet, and you’re already running. Let me at least say a bit more before you make me into a bad egg. Didn’t see a ring, so assumed you were an Angelica.”
“Angelica?”
His eyebrows furrow for a moment. “Ah, must be small-town lingo. Not tied down, I presume. No lover.”
“Why does that even matter?” You know. You can feel the heavy flirting between his words, the smirk on his lips. And you’re tempted, but something is different about him. There’s an aura around Wooyoung, more than the flirting. Mysterious, intimidating. Something you can’t quite point out. You reach to open the door, but he opens it for you, gesturing for you to exit. “Thank you.”
“Anything for you. You make any cowboy balmy.”
He walks along with you to the bar, no longer trying to start a conversation with you. You embrace the silence, but his mere presence is intimidating in itself, his looming finger just behind you. As you make it to the outside of it, he opens the door for you once more, his smile hidden on his face.
“Came here to bend an elbow as well. A bit glad I didn’t go to the bed-house, found better sights here. See you ‘round, miss…” He waits for you to say your name, but you don’t give him the pleasure. “Hard to get, I see. Admire that.”
You walk in, him just slightly behind you. The bell rings, eyes of the patrons looking over to see who entered. Their loud talks slowly dissipate, an audible hush falling amongst the crowd. You notice that they’re looking behind you, so you step to the side, letting Wooyoung walk in front. He looks back at you, an evil glint in his eyes.
“Name’s Wooyoung. But you’d’ve learned soon enough,” he takes your hand, lightly pressing his lips against the back, intense gaze on yours as he flicks his eyes to your lips, letting go. He seems to ignore the stares as he walks to the corner of the bar, a familiar silhouette there as well. But you can only see their back from where you’re standing.
You walk to the bar, sitting on an empty stool. Some of the men next to you eye you but don’t utter a word, probably assuming that you’re with Wooyoung. You don’t mind it at all, trying to figure out how to get back to your time is what you’d rather do. Although, hanging out with them isn’t half bad.
“Joong’s gal?”
Your eyes look up into softer ones, his contagious smile and plush cheeks easily recognizable. He holds a glass in his hand, cleaning it slowly. He leans against the counter. “Could tell by your trousers. No lady ‘round here would dare.”
You snort. “And what does that mean? I’m not a lady?”
Yunho looks at you in shock, his lips in the shape of an o. “Absolutely positively not, sweetheart. You’re different, bettermost from the others, makes you more fascinating, you see. Make any get one hellofa brick in his hat. Makes you a target as well, but you’re safe enough.”
“How so?”
He grins. “You’re with me. Talk more after I get these men outta da way.” He tips his head, walking over and sliding people their beer.
The saloon is bigger than you expected, probably about fifty or so people hanging out and about. There’s few women around but Yunho’s right; all of them are dressed to impress, makeup perfect on their faces. You spot Wooyoung, and finally, get the chance to see who he’s with.
San slides laid back in his chair, legs manspread as his eyes lazily trail along the crowd. You can't move, knowing that if you even tried his eyes would immediately land on you. So you try your best to keep attention away from yourself, sitting on the edge of the barstool as Yunho makes a drink for you.
The hairs on the back of your neck raise, knowing the heavy gaze that now rests on you. You thank him for the drink, using it as an excuse to down it quickly, eyes flicking over to where San is. His gaze is focused on you, a sly smirk slowly forming on his lips. He drags his tongue along them, eyebrow raised slightly, as if he's challenging you.
"Involved with a fella like him?" Yunho interrupts, forcing your eyes away. "Could only lead to bad endings, sweetheart. Only keep you on your toes long enough to say hello. Throw you right into the dust."
"Do you know him?" You ask, and Yunho laughs.
"Know him? We part of the Leaders together." He watches as the shock slowly crosses your face, his smirk rising. "Too bad he don't like to share."
"Share what?"
Yunho only winks.
The Leaders. San, Wooyoung, and Yunho. All of them are part of the bandit group. You’re a bit shocked that Yunho is, why would he be a bartender? But now you’ve figured out why Wooyoung feels so off. He’s a criminal, his dark gaze filled with more than just lust. He’s seen things you can’t imagine, things you’d rather not think about. San probably has blood on his hands as well as Yunho, his eyes taking you in as you think deeply.
“Never thought I’d see the likes of you again, darling.” His voice is next to you now, one you’ve just heard earlier today. “Can’t say I’m disappointed. W was just chatting about you, telling me about this daisy damsel, a city-slicker. Got me curious, I reckon, but when I saw you eyeing me, dead giveaway.”
“Was it a coincidence,” you mumble, not daring to meet his gaze. He doesn’t smell like alcohol at all, not even slightly. You’re a bit surprised, but don’t comment on it. “I didn’t expect to see you again either.”
“Ah, it’s not a bad thing,” San nudges the man next to you. The man grunts, ready to start something. But once his eyes scan San, a frightened look crosses his eyes as he stumbles from his stool, moving far away from the two of you. Hongjoong talked about how notorious and dangerous they are, but it didn’t sink until you entered the bar. They’ve made a name for themselves here, and not in a good way.
He rests on the stool, half sitting. “Never told me why you were in the calaboose. Don’t really look like the doozies that creep in there. Much calmer, strange.” He sees the look on your face, and chuckles. “In a positive way, darling.”
His eyes grace over your figure, a teasing glint in his eyes. He slowly brings the glass to his lips, eyes unblinking as he watches you through the blurry glass. His lips wrap around the lining of the glass cup, before placing it down to the counter. "You’re quite a mysterious one, miss y/n."
Your blood runs cold. You haven't uttered your name around him, or Wooyoung. How did he even know it? He sees the puzzlement in your eyes, gaze moving away from you to Yunho, a few feet away serving someone else.
"Town's small and townspeople chat. Hard not to figure out who you were. Cant get the details on your background, no matter how much pig digging. Not even your sheriff knows, and seems like you don't know either. Don't believe that in the slightest." He waves over another bartender, their quick pouring of the drink showing you in the simplest ways San's power in this town.
The shaking hands of the man as he pours, the laser sharp gaze of San as he watches, as if he'll jump over the counter if the man makes the slightest mistake. Wooyoung and he command attention and obedience with their presence. Completely different from the soft energy around Yunho, flirting smiles as he continues to intoxicate the saloon customers.
"We own this here saloon, love. The Leaders. Imagine my shock in seeing you stumble through those doors, W just behind ya. I saw the looks he was givin' you, that poor bastard..."
"Ah, talking about me while I'm not here to defend, sir? No wonder my ear was itching."
You're so absorbed in San's every word, ignoring the slow walk of Wooyoung behind you. He doesn't even bother asking the man in the opposite seat to move, the person leaving on their own accord. Unlike San, he molds his body into the stool, letting out a soft sigh before moving his eyes to you. A small grin teases on his lips, an eyebrow slightly raised.
"Care to share?"
"Not interested. In either of you." You clench your ice tea, alcohol free. You don't see the looks they exchange over your head, wordless communication.
"Heard you talking to the sheriff," Wooyoung says.
"Wondering if you told any tidbits about our encounter. Isn't wise if you did," San adds. "Could be life risking, if you ask me."
You can feel the intense stares they give you without even glancing their way. Your eyes move to Yunho, who watches you from the other side of the bar. It's too loud for him to hear what you're saying to them, but you can tell that he knows. The blank expression he gives you is enough to know. Are they going to kill you? There isn't even any information to give Hongjoong, even if you wanted to.
"What could I say to him? He knows who you are, what you look like. And you barely exchanged three sentences with me before riding off into the sunset," you sip slowly on your drink. "Is that why you came over here? To bother me?"
San chuckles dryly. "You’re a smart one, hm? Think we can put you in your place?" He moves closer to your ear, a breath away from his lips touching your skin. "Can tell you’re flustered, your fingers are all shaky. Scared?"
Wooyoung leans on the counter, head resting on his hand. You notice his arm covered with tattoos and bracelets. His gaze is heavy, eyelids hushed as he licks his lips, flicking between yours and your eyes. "Pretty gal like you may be thinking 'bout something different though. Could tell right when we met, the look in those beautiful eyes of yours. Full a' wonder, and... ah." He reaches out, inches away from your hand, before pulling back.
"The things I want to do."
From the thumping in your ears to the breath of San tickling them, to the seductive look Wooyoung is giving you, it's overwhelming. You leap from your stool, ignoring the chuckles falling from their lips.
"Leaving so soon? Haven't even heard our proposal to you," San pouts. "It's worth a wild."
You hesitate in your steps, glancing back at the two of them. "And what is the proposition?"
Wooyoung leans back on the counter, legs outstretched in front of him. "Distract that sheriff. Tell him falsehoods, get his nose away from us. In exchange..." His heavy gaze moves up your body, before flicking to your eyes. "Join us."
.
..
...
....
"...join you? Why in the living hell would I ever join you?"
A dark look passes through both of them. San jaw clenches, fingers straining against the glass in his hands before he takes a breath, closing his eyes and opening again. He looks at you calmly once more.
"We need a lady in our ranks. Some things a man just can't do. You’re already a criminal, can't judge us."
You blink rapidly. "How am I...?"
Your mind trails off to your first meeting with him, in prison. He's assuming that you're as bad as them, that you'd break the law. But the worst thing you've ever done is kick a ball into someone's face, and you cried after doing that. Breaking the law? You could barely break a pencil, let alone the law.
"No." You say briskly. "I've changed, I think. Started anew. My past is behind me."
Wooyoung snorts at that. "Oh, is it now? Every soul in here sees you talking to us. Probably got to the sheriff already. He must be suspecting by now that you’re in cahoots with the Leaders."
They're trying to bait you. You've watched enough movies to know the moves. The evil glint behind the friendliness. The way Wooyoung's fingers rest on his hip, inches away from his pistol. It's subtle, but you know if you deny, they'd probably retaliate somehow. But Hell, you’ve dealt with men like this before.
"You're underestimating him. See y'all around." You tip your invisible hat, earning a chuckle from Yunho who watches. You turn your back to them, push the double doors open and leave.
Wooyoung goes to stand, but San grabs his forearm, stopping him in his tracks. He looks at him in confusion. "We won't stop her?"
"No. Sooner or later, she'll come crawling to us."
"Not too sure 'bout that," Yunho says, walking to them. "Gal seems independent. Can't see her listenin to you."
San quirks his brow. "She'll learn who I am soon 'nough."
-
You close your eyes, taking deep breaths just outside the bar. Your eyes flick to the sound of heavy panting, seeing a black stallion in the darkness. Its eyes glow faintly, focusing on you for a moment before huffing again. You try to calm your heart rate as you take in its calming presence, a soft neigh echoing in the night.
Your head is filled with several emotions; fear, confusion, lust. You can barely keep up with the heavy waves. The beating slowly drops into a more steady thumping, your eyes flutter as you take another breath, walking through the grass to meet it. It stomps its feet, warning you with gestures. You hold your hands up in surrender, showing it that it shouldn’t be afraid. It slowly stops moving, letting you stand next to it silently.
You don’t dare run your fingers on its coat, too afraid that it startles easily. You stare off into the night, eyes on the sky. The stars are the brightest you’ve ever seen; they glow their own lights in the small town. You glance around, seeing the flickers of torches and stakes, loud voices of people entertaining themselves. The horse neighs softly as you pout, running your fingers through your hair.
“I don’t belong here,” You say softly, glancing at the horse. “I have no idea what to do, how to get back to my home. But I have to admit, it’s nice being around here. The fresh air is completely different. Feels more natural out here.” You hear a crash behind you, but don’t even give the sound the light of day, continuing to hum softly.
“It’s a bit chilly out here too, and all I have is this shirt,” You pull at the material, frowning. “It’s barely thick enough to cover my boobs from showing through.”
“Boobs?”
You jump at the sound, turning to see a man, hair wild as the wind blows through it. He wears a dark blue outfit, cowboy boots shining in the darkness, probably from the flickering of the candle in his hand. He cocks his head, eyes watching you curiously.
“Is that the fancy way of saying bosoms?” You can hear the innocence in his voice, although the scars across his face tell a different story. “Strange city slickers.” He grins, walking to you. You’re not sure how he is compared to the rest of the bandits you’ve encountered, but you don’t take any chances.
“What do you want?”
Confusion is drawn in his expression, before he mumbles something to himself softly. “Ah… you’re with my horse. Seems a bit suspicious, don’t you think?” He points to the horse next to you, patting it softly. “Surprised he didn’t try to kick you. A feisty one, he is. Probably thinking about doing something to you.” He grins again, winking at you.
You move away from the horse and Seonghwa takes a step to it, pressing his lips against it. It nudges against him softly, and he giggles. You blink rapidly. Him. He is in a bandit group, an infamous group. You don’t even feel the dangerous aura around him, not like the other three. He’s much softer, calmer. He looks at you, still petting his horse lightly.
“Heard ‘bout you from the others. Potentially joining’ our ranks,” he looks you up and down in thought. “Don’t know why they’v’d even consider, don’t look impressive to me.”
“Excuse me?”
“Ah, pardon my behavior. It's true, though. You’re light on the eyes, but that’s all I see. Don’t look like you’ve even held a pistol, and from the looks of it, probably run your bazoo and snitch,” he wrinkles his nose. “I ain’t as trusting as the others. For good reason, too.”
He lets go of the stallion, leaning next to him as he watches you. “San trusts you, though. We aren’t what you think, what the chit chatting be saying about us. Hiding among the willows, filled with bug juice. It’s nothing of the sort.”
“Then why don’t you defend yourselves? Everyone is convinced you’re the worst criminals there are, that you’d shoot before anything else.”
There, you see it. The flicker of fury in his irises, the locking of his jaw, the dark glow to his eyes. But as quick as you see it, it fades away. He smiles again, and this time it doesn’t seem as genuine.
“Some of those rumors are true. Don’t be so beef-headed, miss y/n,” he tilts his head as he watches you. “Standing in front of this bucket of blood. Right where you stand, Yunho murdered a man.” Seonghwa flicks his gaze to the grass, pursing his lips. “Speaking of that, being alone is risky. This town ain’t as safe as the sheriff makes you think. Better to get to your home, something’s going down in a few clicks or so.”
Another shout comes from the bar, and Seonghwa sighs. “Go ta Yeosang’s place. Lock your doors, and don’t go by those windows.”
He kisses his horse’s face once more before walking around you, his arm brushing lightly against yours. He glances at the spot, eyes focused on yours. His expression is unreadable, and he nods once before, pulling his gun from the holster, kicking open the bar doors. You take that as your cue, half running, half jogging to the hotel. You ignore the whistles and shouts from the people standing not too far away from the front, running to your door and shutting it behind you.
The gun shots ring around you as you cover your ears, shaking as each one shoots through the air. A deadly reminder that you don’t belong here, that you should be home in modern society. That no matter how cool it is to be in the wild west, it isn’t cool to think about one of those gunshots ending up inside of you.
You need to get home.
-
“Won’t be that bad of an idea,” he says, brushing off her coat slowly. You lean against the tall pole next to his stall. He eyes you for a moment, scanning your skeptical expression before sighing. “We need to arrest them, y/n. Take them in for their crimes.”
“And why do you need me? I was in that jail for a reason, one that I don’t know. You’re being so harsh on them, and easy on me.” You flick off a leaf that falls, waiting for his response. You might be digging yourself into a hole, but it’s the only thing that you could think would stop him from this crazy idea of his. There’s no way you’d try to infiltrate their ranks, the risk is too high. These men aren’t like the ones back home.
“You’re not a threat. Don’t sense the bad mojo on you, can tell by looking into your eyes. You'll be safe; no harm will come to you. Bet a cat’s foot on it.” He snaps his fingers, winking at you.
You narrow your eyes. “Bet your life.”
Hongjoong widens his eyes as he looks at you. “I… no, miss y/n, that’s-”
“Yea yea, superstition and all.”
“You don’t believe in that?” He asks, watching as you shake your head. “Gotta be careful, miss. You’re a good one, that I know.
“Do you?”
“Mama ain’t raise no fool,” He says simply, patting Angel. “Be careful, you hear? Those men aren’t as kind as they may show you. Killed too many to consider them friendlies. Those men ain’t nothing but trouble. Don’t want to see you hurt. But if you don’t accept their invitation under the eyes of me, they might insist in ways I cannot help you with.”
You purse your lips. They’re walking freely through the town, through the darker sides that you don’t see right here. It’s a bit strange; shouldn’t they be put in jail? You’re sure that Hongjoong knows that’s their bar, and yet he hasn’t stormed it and arrested them. Angels neighs softly, stomping her feet. Hongjoong mumbles something against her fur, brushing hairs away from her eyes.
“Why don’t you just arrest them? You know where they’re at, right? Or is there some law that doesn’t allow you to?”
“Ah,” Hongjoong nods slowly. “Forgot about that place. Can’t arrest them if that town doesn’t want me to. You see, they’re infamous bandits in Mist, but not there. I dropped you off just outside of Mist, a smaller town called Halazi. Because the laws are different there, those slickers didn’t cause any ruckus there, so they ain’t going to be arrested. Deputy doesn’t allow me to’ even arrest any bodies there, especially those men. Brings in money to their town. Ain’t going to give that up anytime soon.” Hongjoong’s eyes flick to you.
“Assume you've seen them? Have they spotted ya?” You don’t respond, and he sighs. “Ah, you have then. Just… don’t get too close then. Please. And if you do, at least let me know before something happens. So I can keep an eye on you.”
You nod. “Of course, I won’t.”
-
“Joong’s paranoid. You’ll be fine. These boys don’t mess with no innocents, only the likes of them,” Jongho says, cleaning off a tray with mysterious blood on it. “Can’t believe he didn’t chain you to a fence, in all honesty. That Sheriff is a good one, but scared of a fly.” He clicks his tongue, washing his hands before looking at your wound again. “Ah, it’s healing well, ain’t it? Your skin is going to be pretty again, miss y/n, don’t you worry ‘bout that.”
“Thanks, Doctor,” You say, smiling. “But I think he has reasons to worry. I didn’t exactly tell him the complete truth.”
Jongho raises his eyebrows. “Hm?”
You rub your arm, looking at the healing cut as you speak. “I met the guys. All of them; San, Wooyoung, Yunho, and Seonghwa. They wanted me to join their ranks, something about me being alluring. I refused, but then they responded that I won’t be refusing for much longer? I have no idea what that means, but in my honest opinion-”
“Sounds like a threat,” Jongho whispers slowly, and you nod. “Joong ain’t tell you ‘bout their crimes, did he? Nothing except the little flyers he has hanging round town?” You shake your head.
“San can tell his own story; it’s a big one, one that’ll take too long,” he grins. “The others joined after he decided to leave. Joong and them, friends for a long time. Since they were little ones, until he left. Yunho used to be my assistant, until he went away. Wooyoung is a mystery; lived here his whole life but decided to leave when Yunho did. Seonghwa was Joong’s partner, unofficially. Glued to his side like a worm in the gravel on a hot day. When they had a falling out, he was distraught, choosing between his two friends. Joong ain’t never going to forget when Seonghwa left him.”
“Their crimes are not as serious as it seems. Yes, they burglarized and murdered, but thestories behind each of them are cause for protest. They ain’t ever raised their pistols to an innocent, that’s why Joong ain’t that worried about you in that regard. Only murderers and people who gone against them but for good reasons, in my humble opinion,” Jongho begins cleaning off your cut.
“Then why does Hongjoong want them arrested? If they didn’t actually do anything horrible?”
Jongho thinks for a moment. “In a way, it’s ‘cause he’s heartbroken. But also, just because a person is bad don’t mean you go ‘round killing. There’s due process; jail, and from there punishment.”
He grins as he looks at you. “Like Wooyoung, for a teeny example. He killed many, but all of their crimes were dark, too explicit to even tell ya. Seonghwa hasn’t killed, that I know of but most of the others have. Yunho usually sits in the bars at night, though. More of an informant if anything.”
“It’s a good thing I didn’t tell Hongjoong then,” you mumble to yourself, Jongho listening along. “He has a grudge and rightfully so, but some things should just be kept to myself. I think he’d take me out of Yeosang’s hotel immediately if he found out,” You tease, causing Jongho to chuckle.
“He would've, My lips are sealed, swallowing the key. But I’m still keeping an eye on you, don’t you forget that. Keep your ears cleared and your eyes open, miss y/n. Them guys ain’t that bad, but there’s trouble always surrounding them. Don’t join them, not even under fallacies. Those boys can sniff a rat amongst the willows.”
He taps your arm as he finishes. “Come back again, no one ever comes to see little ‘ol me.” He leans against the counter, looking at you. It looks like he wants to say more, but he doesn’t do anything but give you that signature grin. “Tell them, especially Yunho, I said howdy if you ever come ‘cross again. Big part of me thinks you will.”
He winks.
-
You’re not sure how you ended up here. In the middle of a field, flowers and other plants are seen for miles. Taking a small hike, you only expected more dirt and pesky bugs. You’re not sure if any diseases from the mosquitoes are actually cured by now, but it frightens you whenever one of them lands on you. You hum to yourself softly, letting the soft breeze swirl around you. It’s been a few weeks in between Mist and Halazi. You’ve seen San, Wooyoung, and the others more often than you’d like, their words enticing you more and more. But you’ve resisted for the most part, avoiding them whenever you turn the corner.
San and Wooyoung have been particularly insistent. You already moved out of Yeosang’s hotel, and into a room and board, farther away from the bar. But it seems like every time you step out of the doors, those two aren’t as far away.
Despite your very thinning resistance, you’ve ignored their requests for the most part. Even though Jongho told you that their crimes aren’t as bad as you may think, you don’t want to involve yourself with them. Hongjoong is happy as well, hearing from you that you didn’t dare join them. In a weird sort of way, it feels like a mouse and cat game, the duo dropping their cheese in front of your nose, and you running away from it.
“Didn’t expect to see you out here,” A voice behind you hums lightly. You yelp, turning to the voice. Wooyoung stands there, hands tucked into his slacks as he looks at the peonies around you. He tilts his head, eyes flicking to yours. “Thought you left, S was a bit ruffled.” He hums softly, leaning against a rock.
“Did you follow me out here?” You ask sternly. “I told you two I’m not joining your little crew of bandits-”
Wooyoung clicks his tongue, shaking his head. “Ah, watch your words, miss. Just ‘cause we been nice, don’t mean we can’t stop.” He motions his hands in a scissor motion, winking at you. “And I ain’t follow you. Here’s my resting place, ways away from commotion of Halazi. And it’s my mama’s land, so you’re intruding, not I.” He grins at you. “Could get yourself shot, miss y/n.”
Your heart drops to your stomach as you scramble to your feet, panic in your eyes. “Shit- I mean, I’m sorry I didn’t mean to-”
Wooyoung wiggles his fingers, shaking his head. He reaches back, putting the hat on his head as he watches you. “Mama ain’t so easy to forgive, lucky she ain’t see you out here. But, since I did catch you,” He taps his finger against his pouty lips, pretending to think deeply. “You owe me now, don’t you?”
His eyebrows raise as his lips slowly curl into an evil grin. You mentally slap yourself. What were you thinking? All land must have been owned around here, it is a small town after all. And look at what you’ve gotten yourself into. Wooyoung watches as you go through the hoops in your mind, your nose scrunched up as your eyes flick back and forth. He rests on the rock easily, humming again.
“What do you want me to do?” You ask.
He shrugs. “Can’t think of any at this very moment. Get back to you?” He says, “But we gotta shake on it. Can’t be having some white lies told, you know?” He holds out his hand. If you looked closely enough you could have seen the slightly wicked look in his eyes, the pure lust as your fingers curled around his for a shake. He lifts up your entwined hands, pressing his lips against it lightly.
“Best get a move on, Mama be home soon enough. Can’t be having any daisies ‘round, she carries the big guns.” Wooyoung flicks his head, “Unless you’d like to stay. I have enough room for a visitor.”
You’re at least fifty percent sure he’s asking for you to twist the sheets with him, as they say. Or in your language, fuck. Your face warms furiously as you pull your hand out of his, shaking your head.
“As you said, I need to get moving.”
He watches as you walk past him, eyes struggling to keep them on only your head, nothing lower. It’s not common to see a lady dressed in tight-fitting clothing, and little did you know, they were luring away the men who dared to creep on you. Stares are fine, but the words that Yunho heard in the bars... Speaking of that, his eyes move to look in the distance, at the cowboy that’s been watching you as of late. Wooyoung moves away from his rock, fingers lingering to his holster as he begins his approach.
-
“They’ve killed again,” A voice says softly between the crowd. You don’t pay any mind, knowing who they’re talking about. You can’t quite keep up with the drama that happens with the Leaders, their names constantly at the edge of people’s tongues. Instead, you push your way through and stay in the library, also owned by Yeosang.
He sits in the corner as you read through books, trying desperately to find a way back to your time. You think you’ve had enough of the sand in places you’d rather not mention, and the lack of water to take showers in. You’re sure someone saw you trying to clean yourself in a pond. Oddly, though, the guys didn’t smell bad. But you’d rather not dwell on that thought.
“You've been here for three days, miss,” Yeosang says, glasses sitting on the edge of his nose. “Can just ask what you're looking for, youknow.”
You shake your head. “What if I told you I’m trying to figure out a way to go to the future, where you’re part of a boyband?”
Yeosang stays quiet for a moment, before he chortles to himself, shaking his head. “Spent too long with Jongho, sounding just like him. Boy band? Is that some sort of Sheriff department?”
You hold back your laughter, “Maybe I have been around Jongho too long.” These books in front of you could barely help you, most just telling you about folk tales, things you don’t need to know about right now. You put the books back on the shelves, thanking Yeosang before walking out. You hear a loud crowd in the distance, and squint, seeing men wearing black, surrounding someone on the ground. Your stomach drops once you recognize the figures from this distance.
Stay away, you say to yourself, keep under the radar. They already want you a part of them, and involving yourself in things like this would only entice them more. Make you tied up in drama you have no business being in. You look away, despite the growing yelling. This isn’t Hongjoong’s town; he’d never show up. But some part of you tells you to look, and you see someone running up to them. A shotgun is in their fingers, the Leaders’ backs to him.
Your eyes widen. He’s going to shoot them. He’s going to kill them with their backs to him. Your body immediately starts running, barely keeping yourself on your two feet as you breathe through your nose, pushing through randoms walking around. The man is so close, so very close. You might be too late, you might see one of them being killed -
San stands just over the man on the ground, an angry sneer on his lips as he aims his gun at him. Wooyoung stands next to him, Seonghwa on the opposite side with Yunho staring down at him. They don’t see the man aiming his gun, eyes narrowed as he adjusts his shot.
“San, move!” You scream, feet away. The shotgun man turns around as you yell, but turns back, finger slowly pressing on the trigger. You leap, shoving your body against San as the shot rings through the air. You’re not too sure where the others are, too focused on getting him out of danger.
You both fall to the ground in a loud thump, his body somehow rolling on top of yours. You hear commotion behind the two of you as you take heavy breaths, eyes on one another. He looks between yours, flicking around your face. A hand reaches out, brushing your hair away from your eyes.
“Shit, you got a cut. What the fuck were you thinking, funning in front of a shot like that?” He curses, anger in his voice. But you can only see the worry reflected in his eyes as he looks over you. “Don’t be stupid,” he hisses.
“If you paid more attention to who’s around you maybe I wouldn’t have to be stupid, stupid.”
He narrows his eyes at you. “Stubborn gal.”
“Quit kissing faces and get up,” You hear a voice above the both of you, anger dripping from his words. You look back, seeing Wooyoung staring down at the both of you. “No time for flirting. Gotta show them no mercy.”
San looks down at you, a silly grin on his lips. “W sounds a bit cheeky, don’t he?” He lifts himself away from your body, holding out his hand to help you up. Reminds you of the first time you’ve met him, saved from the prison. But this time, Wooyoung helps you up from behind, San slowly dropping his arm.
Wooyoung glares at the blood dripping from your forehead, ignoring the scowls his partner gives him. “S is right, you know. Keep yourself outta trouble, you here? Ain’t want you to join us this way.” He grabs something from his back pocket. It’s a roll of cloth, he wraps it around the small wound, whistling.
He secures it with a metal clip, smiling lightly at his handy work before straightening his back, looking at the others. Yunho and Seonghwa stay silent, exchanging looks, while San’s fuming, his glare having the potential to melt any man who receives it. You can tell that Wooyoung knows he’s furious but chooses to ignore it, eyes moving to the man on the ground that attempted to kill them.
Some people that you don’t recognize hold him down. San crouches over, narrowing his eyes at him.
“Lucky this darling here is watching,” San stands. “Hwa. Take care of him, have other matters to tend to.” His eyes look at you. “Follow me.”
-
San paces around the room, Wooyoung sitting in the furthest corner. He watches you silently, darker eyes blinking rarely. His trenchcoat that drapes to the floor is oddly terrifying, making your eyes look over to him every so often. A part of you itches to speak up and ask exactly why he isn't blinking, but now seems like the wrong time. Yunho and Seonghwa are dealing with the man who tried to assassinate San, somewhere in the Halazi station. You bite your lip nervously, wondering why they insisted on you coming with them. They gave you room to refuse, of course, their gentlemanly cowboy ways superseding their need to speak with you.
San finally stops pacing, stopping a few feet away from you. "You’re strange." He says softly, eyes looking through his hair. "Can't seem to' wrap my noggin 'round you. Cold Cool as a winter's morn' but warm as Mama's sweet apple pie."
...
"Um—"
"You tell us to stay away, and we do for most parts." San nods at that. "Keep them sleazy men away from you since you insist on wearing revealing wear." He eyes your pants, before looking away. If you squint, you can see a slight color change to his cheeks.
If they call your pants and very thick shirt revealing, you could only imagine them in your time. Seeing short sleeve shirts and ankles. They'd go mad.
"But you saved me," he mumbles softly, rubbing his bottom lip. "Woo," his eyes flick to his partner. "Don't you think it's awfully strange of miss y/n to help us? Aught to make one wonder.“ He strokes his chin, humming to himself.
Wooyoung’s brows raised slowly, clicking his tongue. “You’re right. Why she helping us? Could’ve just left us for dead. Let the vultures pick off the bones. Seems like this lady cares ‘bout us.”
You can’t help but scoff at them, eyes-rolling. You don’t catch the clenching of Wooyoung’s jaw, San’s eyes narrowing at your action. “Talk about being full of yourselves. If you were anyone else I’d still do the same thing. Don’t try to stroke your ego.”
Wooyoung’s rings glisten as he moves away from the wall, taking slow steps closer to you. “Can’t help but talk like that, hm? It’s been a few now, you should’ve learned.”
“Learned what?” You say, keeping your voice steady. You hear a slight crack in your tone, hoping that they don’t notice. But from the slow curving of their lips, they know.
“Learned that the Leaders are called that for a reason, sweet pea. Learned that we only tolerate so little, and you crossed the line more than once,” he raises his fingers, flicking each one up as he counts. “Too many to even add up, you see.” He slowly tucks his hands in his pocket, chain glistening against his neckline.
San nods along. “That pretty face a’ yours only seems to get you in trouble. You know how many men we’ve fought off? Your feet are golden, darling. And you still walk around here like you own the town. Makes us look weak, and we can’t have that, hm?” He tilts his head, earring brushing against his skin as he eyes you. “Heard you owe Woo a favor.”
You don’t know whether to be frightened, scared, or a third thing. You watch as Wooyoung places his hat to the side, loosening his jacket. Your eyes glue to his exposed skin like you’re a deprived man from the 1700s seeing ankles for the first time. He reaches for his rings, but stops himself, smirking.
“You like the rings on me, don’t you?”
You swallow slowly, and San raises his eyebrows at you. “Answer the question, darling.”
“I do.” You say, seeing Wooyoung glance back at you. He slowly takes off his vest, leaving the loose-fitting shirt the only thing covering his chest from the both of you. San’s eyes drift over Wooyoung’s figure, an unreadable emotion in his eyes. But you can see the piercing gaze that Wooyoung gives him, the need dripping from his pupils as he looks back. Your heart pumps in your chest, quickly realizing what’s happening.
“I have the favor ready,” Wooyoung says softly, loosening the first few buttons. You see the golden shine of his chest as he moves closer, now inches away. “Ready to hear?” His voice rumbles in his chest, surly. His eyes lazily slide to your lips, before moving back to your eyes. San slowly approaches, taking off layers of his skin as Woo stares you down.
“Yes.”
He sneers, finger slowly trailing over the curve of your chin, stopping at the corner of your lips. He presses lightly on the skin, “Here’s my favor. Try not to scream, sweet pea.”
“Doubt that, don’t you think? Lady looks like a faucet,” San’s tongue trails over his lips as he watches Wooyoung’s fingers slowly go down your arm, leaving a trail of goosebumps in their wake. Your eyes flutter through trembling breaths as the rough pads of his thumbs dig lightly into your hips, slowly sliding you closer to him.
“There’s always room to say no, sweet pea,” Wooyoung says, barely above a whisper. “We love our ladies rough, but we always respect them. Like true gentlemen,” he snickers lightly. “Well, the gentle part isn’t as true.”
“Remember seeing you for the first time in the calaboose,” San says, watching as Wooyoung’s hands slowly slide underneath your shirt, rubbing lightly against your skin. He keeps his eyes steady on yours, biting his lip each time you twitch under his hold. “Thought you were an owl hoot, there to serve your time, but I suppose not?” He throws his hat to the side, fingers gracing over his pistol, before he lays it on the counter of the saloon.
Wooyoung distracts you, pressing his hips into yours. He slowly brings your body forward, light moans each time you rub against his hard bulge. You try to concentrate on San’s words, but Woo is taking up most of your attention, head leaning down and peppering kisses against your skin.
“Too pretty to be in that place, covered in dirt. Didn’t think I’d see you again, but look at what we've been through! Pistol whips, visits, bumping into one another. Don’t believe in soul’s meeting, but,” San walks to the door of the bar, locking it behind him, putting the closed sign on the outside.
It was open this whole time? Anyone could have walked in, seeing Wooyoung pressing himself against you as San watched. You tremble at the thought, Wooyoung biting your skin lightly.
“You smell too good, sweet pea,” he whispers against your skin. “Wonder if you smell good in other places.”
“Ah, you're spoiling her, don’t you think?” San nudges Woo’s arm. He presses one light peck to your neck before moving back. San stares at you, tilting his head in thought. “Wanted to see you like this for a while now. Didn’t expect to have ‘nother in the room, but that only makes things interesting.”
“Take our time?” Wooyoung asks, glancing at the clock on the wall. “Bar opens in less than a nick’s time. Can’t have any ol’ seeing her like this.”
San sighs, running his fingers through his hair. “Choices?”
Wooyoung rubs his chin, glancing at you. “Wait ‘til tonight, might be-a few hours, passed drunk fighting. Or, have sweet pea here and now, tonight can be round two.”
San nods slowly, eyes moving to you. “Your choice, darling.”
“Now.” You say simply.
San’s lip twitches in the corner. “Now? Can’t wait for us, can you?”
Wooyoung snickers, “Look at our sweet pea. She’s trembling just thinking ‘bout what we’d do to her.”
“Or that you’re taking too long to even start,” You say softly, eyebrow flicking in challenge. “Two boys in front of me but neither are even trying.”
You hear a low rumble from Wooyoung’s chest, taking a step forward. San stops him, quirking his brows. “Can’t stop that mouth of yours, hm? Still haven’t learned.”
You reach for your vest, slowly unbuttoning each one. Their eyes trail to your fingers, watching each one come loose. Once you reach the bottom, you toss it to the side, your smirk mirroring there’s from earlier. San moves first, pressing his lips against yours. It’s in no way gentle, feverish as you let him pull off your shirt. Your teeth clash against one another as he loosens his belt, throwing it to the side. You hear a crash, your head slightly turning to the sound. But San’s wandering hands feel your breasts, a soft moan falling from your lips.
“You’re a pretty thang, aren’t ya?” He whispers. You’ve forgotten about the other for a moment, at least until you feel his ring covered hands slowly moving underneath your trousers, tugging them down. San leans back slightly away from you, lifting you up against the counter as Wooyoung takes them completely off, leaving your bottom bare against the counter.
You shiver at the cold of the counters. San slowly spreads your thighs, flicking below. “Ah, you’re soaked, darlin’. Gonna make my bar all dirty.”
You feel the metal of Woo’s fingers press against your core, a low growl falling from his lips as San flicks your nipple, squeezing your breasts. He slowly presses kisses into your skin, covering your nipple with his lips, lightly sucking. You wrap your fingers in his locks as Wooyoung slowly inserts two fingers into you.
“Sucking me right in,” He mumbles, a featherlike kiss pressed just above your clit. You moan as he chuckles, tongue slowly trailing over the nub. Your hips lift forward at the touch, his fingers moving in and out of you quickly. “Feel you squeezing around me, sweet pea. How can I even fit if you’re already this tight?”
He sucks on your slit, enjoying you trembling at his ministrations. San takes your other breast in his mouth as Wooyoung increases the pace, another finger added. You feel him pressing his thumb into the other hole, slightly spreading your ass. You widen your eyes as he uses your slick to press two fingers into it.
“Shit,” You gasp. The buildup to your high is quick, Wooyoung’s eager growls into your cunt, skilled fingers sucking him in with little resistance; San’s soft lips, teeth biting lightly. Plump lips wrap around your slick as your cunt sucks in his fingers with little resistance. Your eyes roll back as you spasm against his fingers. You push him away as you slowly reach the point of overstimulation, his head moving away. You can see your slick covering his cheeks, fingers covered in you.
“As sweet as a pumpkin pie, sweet pea,” he says softly. “Would give Mama a run for her money.”
San rolls his eyes, “Talking bout ya momma right now?” He strips off his pants, your eyes immediately flicking between his thighs. His cock springs out onto his belly, dripping with precum. You groan at the size, until you hear the ruffling of another pair of pants. Their eyes scan your body, too clouded with lust to think of anything else. San’s eyes scan yours, waiting for your consent.
“Both of us, at the same time. Think you can handle that?” He rubs his length slowly, enticing you.
“Think you can handle me?” You say, smiling up at him.
His eyes go dark, your face reflects his eyes as he leans down, pressing his lips lightly against yours. “Lift up for me, darling. W is gon’ take your behind, I’ll take you right here…” he cups your cunt.
You get off of the counter when he lets go, Wooyoung replacing you. He looks at the clock, worry in his eyes. “Less than cooking time now.” He looks at you. “Your words say a lot, let's see if we can prove it true.”
You slowly move forward, San slapping your ass as you press your lips against Wooyoung’s. His fingers curl in your hair, kiss much more gently than San’s. His tongue plays with yours slowly, before he pulls back. Through the lust, you can see the tender look he gives you. Something you haven’t seen from him.
“You’re doing so well. Can’t wait to see you sitting on me.”
You roll your eyes, turning around as he laughs. He helps you sit on his lap backward, his cock twitching against your ass as he groans, licking the curve of your neck. “Ready for me, sweet pea?”
“Yes.”
You slowly sink on his cock, fingers digging into his thighs at the stretch. His descent into you is slow, his lips pressing against your neck as you groan, trying his best to distract you from the burning feeling. You sit there for a moment, the overwhelming feeling of your ass being filled distracting you from San for a moment. Wooyoung continues to press kisses into your skin, until San clicks his tongue.
His cock looks as if it's almost vibrating, waiting. “Ready for me, darling?”
San watches as you nod for him, moving towards you. He wastes no time; rocking his cock a couple of times before sinking into your cunt with vigor. You didn’t realize how long he is; the head of his cock nudging at your cervix. You moan, his balls resting at the entrance. You feel more full than you’ve ever did before, your mind consumed with only them.
Wooyoung moves tentatively, fingers digging into your hips as he moves.
“Relax up, y/n,” San mumbles, rubbing your arm softly. You wrap your arms around his neck, forehead pressing against one another. “Can feel you movin’, W.”
“Move, fuck… move, or else I’ll cum right into her,” Wooyoung says through clenched teeth, moaning every time he feels your rim squeeze against his cock. San lets out a breath as he slowly drags his cock out of you. His gaze moves between your legs, watching as Wooyoung’s cock moves, his disappear in and out of you.
“You look so pretty underneath me,” he mumbles.
You open your mouth to reply, but he takes that chance to sink into you quickly, pressing lips against yours. Your combined moans echo in the room as they move in sink; San in, Wooyoung out. Wooyoung pushing in, San moving away. The rolling of San’s hips hitting yours with ease, skin pressing against your clit each time he pushes in. Wooyoung’s hips move with the force of San; not stuttering once.
“Faster,” You encourage, causing Wooyoung to laugh behind you.
“You’re real different, y/n,” he says, but his body agrees with your request, picking up the pace. The feeling of being moved between both of their bodies, Wooyoung’s shirt covered chest pressing into your back, San’s sweat dripping onto you makes you weak, your breaths stuttering.
You hear a knock on the door. San’s pace quickens, hips becoming bolder as he collides with you, the squelching sounds echoing in the small bar. Wooyoung’s grip is so tight, you’re sure he’s going to leave a mark. They don’t seem to care about how loud their being, the knocks disappearing quickly.
San groans as he slowly reaches his high. “Gon’ empty in you, y/n. Tell me no, if you don’t want it.”
“San,” You struggle through your gasps, and he grins at you, your eyes moist and head thrown back. “Please.”
“You’re doing so well for me, y/n. Look so pretty underneath me. But I n-need to know-”
“Cum in me,” You say through gasps. “Both of you.”
His groan makes your body tremble. Your fingers are probably putting cuts into Wooyoung’s thighs as you scream, cunt squeezing against their cocks as you finally cum.
Wooyoung’s muscles strain as he holds you up, veins popping out on his arm as he revels in the feeling of your cunt around him. His hips seem to only go faster and faster, trying to hit his high. But once the squeeze of your rim tightens against his cock, he groans, pressing in once more. His hips sputtering as his cock-squeezing out his cum.
San isn’t too far away, desperate gasps as he slams his balls against your cunt. He pushes in once, twice, before his hips sputter, his balls slapping against you. You feel the hot of his cum hit your walls, his warm body pulling you into his chest, pressing kisses into your forehead. Wooyoung wraps his arm around you from behind, your pants echoing around the room.
“Let’s get you cleaned up. We got five,” San mumbles, his cock popping out of you. The smell of sex surrounds you all as he quickly grabs a piece of cloth from the side, slowly cleaning you off. He grins at the mess they made between your legs, Wooyoung taking his cock out. San presses the fabric into your holes as you whine, pushing him away.
“Wait.”
“Can’t have the children on the floor, darling,” San winks. “W, bring her to the back. Can’t have her ‘round when the doors open.”
Wooyoung wastes no time in picking you up with a yelp, holding you gently as he carries you to the doors behind the bar. He looks at you, pushing your hair away from your face.
“Haven’t seen you more beautiful than now, sweet pea.”
He lightly places you on the bed, looking around for a water bucket. Once he finds it, he slowly cleans you up, humming softly. You don’t know what to say. What’s your relationship now? Are they going to throw you away right after this, a one time thing? You’re not even sure if you want to continue it, but the thought of never seeing them again makes your stomach twist.
Wooyoung seems to see the conflicting emotions on your face, because he stops bringing the pants up your legs, lightly cupping your cheek with his hand. “We ain’t gon’ give you up that easily, sweet pea. If you want us, that is.”
You widen your eyes, holding back your smile as you look at him. “So, this isn’t a one time thing? You’re not gonna toss me away?”
He laughs, shaking his head. “When you hit gold, do you just throw it away? No, you cherish it, keep it as your own. We want you as ours, sweet pea.” he looks into the distance. “All of us do.”
“…All of you?”
Wooyoung gives you a lopsided smile, eyes crinkling in the corners. “You thought we two were the only ones?”
#fic: the leaders#wooyoung x reader#san x reader#ateez smut#ateez fanfic#ateez angst#ateez fanfiction#jung wooyoung x reader#choi san x reader
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WYD 1
Warnings: non/dubcon and other dark elements. My username actually says you never asked for any of this.
Summary: A fan makes an offer your can't refuse.
(based on suggestion he's been overworking himself for weeks if not months. He knows he needs a break but his work is too important. Maybe what he needs is someone to take care of him so he can focus more on work. from @thezombieprostitute)
Characters: Bucky Barnes
My warnings are not exhaustive but be aware this is a dark fic and may include potentially triggering topics. Please use your common sense when consuming content. I am not responsible for your decisions.
As usual, I would appreciate any and all feedback. I’m happy to once more go on this adventure with all of you! Thank you in advance for your comments and for reblogging.
You can’t help but grin as you scroll through the comments. There aren’t many but those that are there give you that rush of adrenaline. More so, the interaction is great for your wallet.
As a faceless creator, your interaction is limited. You prefer the smaller community. Your might not be the most lucrative account on OnlyFans but it pays your rent, just about.
It’s the only secret you’ve ever had in your life and it’s a big one. You don’t think anyone would believe it. Not you. Not the librarian’s assistant on part-time salary in her corduroys and stuffy oversized cardigans.
It wasn't exactly an opportunity you were fond of, more of a last resort. You don’t fantasize about the men on the other side of the screen, as flattering as they can be. They have a similar sort of desperation, but the crux of it is somewhat more pitiful.
It’s the private message waiting for you that surprises you. That alone is behind a paywall, a feature many users forego when they’re only there for the quick wank. You shudder at the thought, often avoiding that reality of your side hustle.
You’re nervous to check but alone in the stacks, with not much else to do, your curiosity gets the best of you. You tap the icon and bring up the chat from BB. No profile pic, no info, just a message.
‘Are you interested in a private arrangement? 5k/week guaranteed.’
Great, a scam. You roll your eyes and close the app. Stupid. But why would someone pay for content just to try to con you. It’s a pretty big gamble.
You tuck away your phone and sigh, pacing up and down the aisle. The soft flutter of pages and stagnant silence. It’s so dull, you’d rather deal with anything else for the minimum wage and uncertain hours. Still, the freedom lets you tend to your other business.
A few minutes later, out of habit, you bring out your phone again. You linger in the blindspot of the cameras and unlock it. The app pops up as you left it. Another message.
‘Don’t leave me on read.’
The demand startles you. You should just block but you know that it’s money in your pocket. You’re not gullible, more greedy.
‘5k? Okay, sure.’
You press send and hide your phone behind your back and wander on. Your insides squirm. You’re not stupid enough to believe it. You look again at the end of the next shelf.
‘If you want more, we can negotiate. We’d have to meet to do that.’
You scoff aloud and quickly look around. There’s no one there to be disturbed. You evasively sit at one of the desk and hide behind the wooden cubicle that encloses it.
‘I’m not stupid’, you reply.
‘No, but you’re gorgeous. Pick the place. Let’s talk.’
‘Good luck finding whatever you’re looking for but it’s not with me,’ you type, skin razed and speckly.
‘I mean it.’
‘You’re not real. Your 5k is less real. Save your money and stop messaging.’
You wait, watching the screen. Your ears prick as you listen to the lull of the forgotten library. You can hear a cart rolling a few aisles back. You can’t get caught on your phone again.
A new notification blips up in the app before you can black the screen. ‘BB sent a tip’. You click it without thinking and bring up the tip; $1,000. A thousand? A message pops down and you quickly flick the chat back over the screen.
‘Believe me now?’ He challenges.
You take a breath and lock your phone, tucking it up your sleeve as you stand and turn down an aisle, passing the approaching cart as you refuse to look at the employee behind it. You go to the catalogue computer and pretend to tidy the little paper slips and pencils. You wait until the wheels squeak onward.
You slide your phone out and press your fingertip against the censor. The screen opens and the next message taunts you.
‘Give me a place and time’.
You hesitate and peek around, paranoid that others could read your mind just by looking at you.
‘Send a pic. Then I’ll meet,’ you counter.
‘You first, doll. Face for a face.’
You don’t like this and yet, you’re messaging.
‘After you,’ you insist.
No answer. You shake your head and put your phone back under your cuff. You carry on and head up the stairs to the next level. When you look at your phone again, there’s a response waiting for you.
A man with bright blue eyes and a sculpted jawline. Handsome, almost breathtakingly so. Your surprise is undergirded by your insecurity. Well, might as well send your own and let him change his mind. You scroll through your miniscule collection of selfies that don’t make you cringe and send one off.
You can’t look away as you wait. You know what’s coming. Rejection. Finally…
‘Place, time. Make sure to buy yourself something nice.”
You stare at his answer, dumbfounded. Are you really going to do this?
#bucky barnes#dark bucky barnes#dark!bucky barnes#bucky barnes x reader#of!reader#WYD#marvel#mcu#drabble#series#au#winter soldier#captain america
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Twst boys w a s/o w chronic fatigue
Chronic Fatigue is a condition where the holder is always tired no matter how much sleep they get; it often times has side affects like insomnia/low energy
Characters: Idia Shroud, Ruggie Buchhi, Leona Kingscholar, Floyd Leech, Malleus Draconia, Lilia Vanrouge, Cater Diamond, Riddle Rosehearts
Idia Shroud
We all know this man has a crippling fear of human interaction, so the fact that he was somehow able to rizz up the prefect of Ramshackle is a miracle
Imagine his suprise when they opened up to him about their symptom.
Immediately throws himself into research trying to find any way to help.
S.T.Y.X has resources and he WILL use them to their full extent.
Sadly, there is no known cure
Instead he will make sure you know you can use his room to crash if you want some peace.
He is perfectly content to offer up his bed for you, so that you can rest in peace away from the chaos that is Ramshackle.
He will ensure that he is staying quiet when he games to make sure you're not disturbed.
Having a s/o with low energy is honestly a win in his book. Since you're almost always low energy, and he is an introvert with no social skills, both of you are happy to simply have dates where you just watch movies or play games.
He himself has terrible sleep habits, but he is not opposed to lying in bed with you on his phone if it means you will fall asleep faster.
You probably use his bed more than him tbh.
Overall a total softie and he is perfectly content with just chilling while you nap
Ruggie Buchhi
Ruggie himself is someone that rarely slows down
He's always working on a different side hustle or helping Leona
He's used to Leona, so adapting is pretty easy, except you have an actual condition, not just laziness.
Anytime you come to him tired he will offer you his bed.
Sadly, he rarely has time to just linger while you sleep.
When he does finally have the time to settle down he is the softest person known to man.
He will gladly pull you to his chest and just relax with you.
One of the few times he will refuse Leona is when he's with you.
Having an s/o who is low energy often times helps him slow down and relax a little.
Overall, he is intensely protective of making sure you get a good sleep, well the best your body will allow.
Leona Kingscholar
He is honestly hyped
Not about the fact that you never feel fully rested
but the fact that he has a s/o who will nap with him.
He himself is often times asleep at odd times
So he will gladly pull you from class (against your will most times) just to nap.
He will use you as a pillow most times; but he also will not mind if you use him as a pillow
He has a hard time understanding why you're frustrated with your condition, as he himself loves to lounge around and nap
However he will do what he can to help you.
Forcing Ruggie to get you coffee, bribing Crowley to let you out of class, he has no issue throwing money at people if it means you can be happier.
Overall; He is down to just nap most times he's with you, but if you want to try and do something he will follow along.
Floyd Leech
He has a hard time coming to terms with it
Afterall, he himself is very high energy, so having an s/o who is very low energy can get a bit frustrating at times.
He is childish, and will often times get pouty when all you have the energy to do is sleep.
However, he loves you anyways.
When you are awake and have enough energy, he is happily dragging you around to engage in various shenanigans.
Whenever he works, he likes having you nap in the break room, so he can come in and admire you during his breaks.
Azul has no qualms with this, as it keeps Floyd motivated, and loosing a bit of space to keep Floyd content is something he doesn't mind.
When Floyd gets pouty, he will come to you seeking cuddles.
His cuddles are intense. I'm talking legs and arms fully wrapped around you, keeping you captive.
In the short moments he is calm, he enjoys cuddling while you doze off in his arms.
Overall; not the best at handling it, but he means well.
Malleus Draconia
A human feeling comfortable enough to sleep around him?
How bold
Considering he met you late a night outside your dorm, he was aware of your bad sleeping habits.
He didn't understand until you explained it to him.
You didn't choose to be up late at night; nor did you choose to take naps during the day.
Upon finding out it was a medical condition, he will try and find a cure using magic.
Of course, he finds nothing.
However, Silver is one of his retainers, so he is familiar with people falling asleep around him.
Anytime you so much a mention being tired, he has scooped you up in his arms and is teleporting to his room where he lays you in his bed and tucks you in, leaving a gentle kiss on your forehead
He is so happy to have someone who isn't afraid of him and he will drop whatever he is doing most times if you ask for cuddles.
Overall; Incredibly sweet and attentive,
Lilia Vanrouge
He has raised Silver his whole life
Safe to say, he is good at handling this.
Will always make sure you have a safe place to nap.
Has a weird sixth sense that lets him know when you are starting to get tired.
Will also drop what he is doing to ensure you get to a bed or couch
Will threaten people to leave you alone and let you rest.
When he isn't busy taking care of Diasomnia, he will gladly cuddle up to you and run his fingers through your hair.
Overall; Handles it very well and is very caring and attentive
Cater Diamond
Another person that rarely slows down
He is very high energy most days
However, he will gladly let you nap in his bed while he scrolls magicam.
Thinks your sleeping face is adorable
Takes lots of photos
Don't worry, he won't post them unless you say it's okay.
Enjoys relaxing with you after a long day
He is BIG on cuddles.
Claims he will help you wake up more rested
It doesn't but it's the thought that counts.
Overall; struggles a bit but learns to adapt over time
Riddle Rosehearts
At first he is pissed.
After all, napping violates one of the rules.
When you explain to him that it's a medical condition, he eases up
Still is a bit annoyed; but knowing that you're not purposely trying to break the rules calms him down
He will do his best to encourage you to push through and stay awake during the day; but if you can't he will let you rest
After all, you look so cute snuggled in his bed asleep.
He will use the time you're asleep to study while watching over you making sure no one disturbs you.
Has collared Ace and Deuce for waking you up before.
Considers adding a new rule saying that waking you up is against the rules.
Overall; You're one of the few people he will let the rules slip for. Still expects you to follow them when you can though.
#twisted wonderland#x reader#twst x reader#twst#idia shroud#floyd leech#ruggie bucchi#leona kingscholar#malleus draconia#lilia vanrouge#cater diamond#riddle rosehearts#idia shroud x reader#ruggie bucchi x reader#leona kingscholar x reader#floyd leech x reader#malleus x reader#lilia vanrouge x reader#cater diamond x reader#riddle rosehearts x reader#headcannons
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Can I request Buddha, Qin and Brunhilde with a stronger! fem s/o :D? Reader is extremely chaotic around anyone that's not them, during most of the gods history, she did NOT give them a brake, constantly braking rules, braking things, just being a pain and all of it out of spite, she lives to watch their down fall and the gods can't do anything about it because, one, she's important, two, she's too strong to deal with but when she's around them (the character) she's peaceful and calm, she normally doesn't say much and just hangs around them, naps, reads, plays with their hair, anything calming (basically the opposite)
Of course I can! Hope it is alright!
BUDDHA,QIN AND BRUNHILDE WITH A STRONG!S/O
Dealing with you was a hustle;every deity knew.
They warned Buddha of that but he was as rebellious as you and didn't listen.
It was surprising to see that around him you were the chilliest person they ever met.
Was probably his influence?
Influence or not, the other gods made sure to talk to you and ask for things only when Buddha was around so you couldn't move a finger on them.
They would find you in piles of pillows; head on his lap, reading a book while he was enjoying candies.
They were thankful for making you calm.
Qin chose you for your strength, your wild side. It amused and fascinated him. A perfect lover to have forever by his side. Only the best for a king like him.
What increased his amusement was noticing how placid you actually were when he spent time with you.
-How lovely...- He would whisper to you as you scooted closer to his body while he was busy reading papers. Your eyes closed and in a deep slumber.
No one had idea how Brunhilde could be with you. You were a pain, a fierce opponent, never stopping like a river and yet the woman just smirked at them.
-I've got this-
She simply said, knowing how you really where when alone with her.
-I heard from a little birdie- Brunhilde would catch your attention.You stopped the tea cup mid-air -You broke another shelf today-
A lazy smile where on your lips now, you took a sip calmly. It was enough for her to understand that it really happened.
-Oh...you're incorrigible-
#x reader#snv#snv x reader#ror#ror x reader#record of ragnarok#record of ragnarok x reader#shuumatsu no Valkirye#buddha#buddha x reader#qin shi huang#qin shi huang x reader#brunhilde#Brunhilde x reader
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Why Writing Is So Lonely | Rin T.
Hello writers, and anyone else who uses Tumblr on a daily basis like me. (Although I’ve been inactive off and on.) It’s me, Rin, and I wanted to talk about something that I think a lot of us struggle with. Or at least anyone, and everyone who considers themselves writers.
The loneliness that can come with the writing life and being a writer. We spend so much of our time alone. It doesn’t matter if you're using your laptop or scribbling in notebooks. Or pacing around in your living room and muttering dialogue to yourself (which I'm completely guilty of.)
Writing is really a solitary passion, and it hasn't just recently been like that. I'm sure Jane Austen and Edgar Allen Poe dealt with similar feelings. And sometimes that isolation can take a real toll that many of us choose to ignore, both on our creativity, our passion, which I assume is writing in this case, and our mental health.
I’ve been writing for about 4 years now, mostly working on my own little passion projects that I plan on publishing and side hustles, not only for my writing project but also my blog (TheWrite AdviceForWriters). I’m currently knee-deep in 4 different novel drafts that I’m absolutely in love with. However, let me tell you. It can get Very lonely a lot of times. There are days when I feel like I’m the only person in the world who cares about these made-up characters and their fictional problems. The characters I create in my mind are so vivid that they seem like the only individuals who actually care about my passion. (They technically are, considering they are basically my passion.)
It’s so easy to start wondering whether anyone will ever want to read the stories I'm pouring my heart into. The self-doubt I get has been a big part of my writing journey, and sometimes it breaks my heart knowing that I may not please everyone who reads my stories. That I possibly could get the worst reviews out there on my book. If it's not perfect for society. For example, I have been reading and receiving news on Alex Aster and the amount of bad reviews she received for her LightLark novel, and she has had a few times where she’s stated she poured her heart into it. And it's not just Aster who deals with these as a published author; there are many others, and it sometimes scares me.
But you know what? I've come to realize that this loneliness is just part of the writer’s journey. And that it truly is going to be the process of every writer’s journey and career. It’s going to be one of the prominent challenges we have to face if we want to do this crazy, wonderful, painful thing we call writing. And I think it's important we talk about it, especially since I'm a blogger who owns a blog specifically for writers. The biggest reason I chose to create this blog was for this reason and the many other challenges of being a writer.
I definitely will consider this blog post to be a discussion, and if anyone wants to reblog or reply to this blog post and start a conversation, please do so, just so we can support each other and figure out healthy ways to cope.
So, why is writing such a lonely pursit? Well, there are quite a few reasons, especially reasons for each individual writer; however, here are a few key reasons:
The Act Itself is Solitary.
At the end of the day, writing is something we have to do on our own. Sure, we can brainstorm with other writers and friends who write or get feedback from beta readers. Or even develop and edit your manuscript with a professional book editor. But the actual act of putting words on the page is a solo endeavor. We’re the ones doing the typing, the (physical) writing, and the constant racking of our brains to find the perfect word or phrase to put down on paper or the blank page on a screen.
Even when we’re writing collaboratively, there’s still a certain level of isolation involved. I mean, after all, our individual writing process and creative visions have to align for the collaboration to work.
And let’s be real—aligning those things isn't always easy.
I’ve reached out to book editors, more so of developmental editors, which is an editor who guides the writer/author on the actual plot and outline of the novel itself. And they have mentioned the difficulties of needing to align with the creativity of the topic or novel. It isn't easy at all.
I know that for me, my most productive writing sessions happen when I'm alone. And I know for a fact I'm not alone on that.
Having no distractions when it's just me, my thoughts, and the blinking cursor on the screen with a Spotify playlist playing in the background. And while that can be deeply fulfilling and very productive, I will admit it can be incredibly lonely.
It's an Emotionally Draining Process.
Writing isn't just about stringing words together. It's about pouring our hearts and souls onto the page. Were digging into our deepest emotions, our biggest fear, our wildest dreams, our thoughts, our philosophy, I can go on. And that kind of vulnerability can be utterly exhausting.
When I'm in the process of drafting a new novel or the many current projects I'm working on. I often find myself emotionally drained at the end of the day. I've been living and breathing these characters, feeling their joys and pains as my own. describing the actions, words, and emotions these characters do and feel. And then after that, I have to close my laptop, put my pen and notebook away, and try to reenter the “real world"—a world that doesn’t always understand the weight I've been carrying.
It can be so isolating, feeling like the only person who understands the emotional journey of your writing. Knowing what it feels like to create characters and their stories and emotions and personalities just as if they were real humans. Our non-writer friends and family members try their best to be supportive, but unless they experience it firsthand, they cannot fully grasp the depth of what we go through. I can tell when I explain my projects to others who aren't writers, it can sometimes feel like they don't care about what I'm saying to them. Or it can also feel like, my stories are just a synopsis for an underrated movie no one’s ever watched.
It's a Profession of Rejection
I think we all know, writing is a tough gig. It's a tough career and job. Even the most successful authors have had to face their fair share of rejection. The rejections can be received from agents, publishers, readers, or critics. (like I mentioned earlier), and that constant stream of “no’s” can really chip away at our confidence and sense of self-worth. And especially if you're an aspiring author and have not yet published your work. Knowing that rejection is a big part of the career of writing is frightening. Really.
I remember when one of my best friends, who is a writer, who is currently in the process of publishing her book, would send query after query only to receive endless rejections. She told me it felt like the entire world was telling her, “Your writing isn't good enough,” and that can be a pretty lonely and demoralizing place to be. It has made me anxious about getting to the querying phase, as I still haven't begun to query yet.
Even when we start to find some success, the fear of rejection never really goes away. Will readers love our next book as much as the last one? Will readers even like my debut novel? Will the critics tear it apart? I know when I first started writing my first novel project. I rewrote the first chapter. 13 times!! And that’s because of all the questions and doubts I had in mind. It’s enough to make any writer want to crawl into a hole and never come out.
And the thing is, as writers, we often don't have the same support system that people in other professions might have. We don't have coworkers to commiserate with or a boss to reassure us; it’s just us. Our doubts and the eerie silence of an empty inbox. For example, Ana Neu, one of my all-time favorite Author-Tuber's, has dealt with similar struggles. She’s mentioned several times how lonely she feels and how her family doesn't fully understand her love and passion for writing. And I completely agree with her. If you want to listen to more of her, please listen to her podcast and watch her videos on YouTube here.
So, now that I went over the key reasons as to why writing is so lonely, I didn't want to end this post on negativity, that’s why I wanted to list the main strategies that have helped me:
Build a Writer’s Community
One of the best ways to combat the isolation of writing is to surround yourself with other writers. That’s why I found social media to be a gift, not just for the other obvious reasons, but because we get to find writers around the world who enjoy the same things we like. Having that sense of community can be a game changer.
When I first started my Tumblr blog, TheWriteAdviceForWriters, I was really hoping to create that kind of supportive space for writers. I wanted to create a space where anyone who enjoys writing—not just fiction writers, but anyone who finds writing to be a passion of theirs—can share their dreams and struggles with. It's been amazing to connect with so many incredible people who just “get” the unique challenges we face. Being able to share our achievements and share our compassions. It's been vital for my own mental health as a writer, and I hope that it can also be vital for all of you.
And of course, the community is not about venting or seeking validation from others; its about providing feedback, encouragement, and just being able to make friends. Having that makes the lonely parts of the writing process and journey feel a little less lonely.
Prioritize Self-care
It's so easy to get caught up in the work and neglect our well-being. There have been multiple times where I wouldn't take a break from my writing sessions and simply not eat and drink. I wouldn't give myself time to process everything I wrote, and I immediately after would criticize it.
However, I find that self-care is the most important part of combating the isolation that comes with being a writer. For me, that looks like making sure I get enough sleep. You can't process, learn, and remember anything when you don't have enough sleep. During my personal self-care, when I do 45-to 1-hour writing sessions, I usually take a short nap after. Eating nourishing meals and snacks is important, as is making time for the hobbies and activities that bring me joy. I usually like reading books, spending quality time with my family members, and very feisty (and sometimes scary) cat.
3. Cultivate Gratitude
When loneliness starts to creep in, it can be really helpful to shift our mindset and focus on what we are grateful for; this can be really productive and rewarding. Being a writer is a gift; we get to spend our days doing what we love, bringing our creative visions to life and sharing them with people who love literature. Readers are such a big part of being a writer, and they're huge motivations to me.
So, if you can, just take a moment to appreciate the joys of writing. For example, if you have any writing quirks, I personally have to wear bracelets on both of my wrists in order to produce some type of creativity when I write. I'm not sure why it's just something I noticed. I also really love writing my manuscripts physically. I tend to do this when I'm suffering from writer's block, and for some reason my writing style is a lot better.
And don't forget the many other joys of writing, like drafting, and the excitement of sharing your work with others. Having a new idea come to mind that fits perfectly in your plot. Or even a reader or beta reader sharing a comment on your work and giving you encouragement.
Also, please celebrate your wins; it makes writing all too fun, and it's a great way to integrate writing into the real world.
End Note
I wanted to write this post because I know a lot of us deal with feeling lonely; I’ve been feeling that way for quite some time, and I wanted to share it with Tumblr. I feel like each and every one of you all feel the same way. And that’s why I created my Tumblr community; that's the reason I created this blog, and that's the reason I strive to build this into an entire brand.
I want to bring more awareness to writers, we are the people behind the stories, movies, and media that we consume today, and we barely get any credit for our work. I want to make a brand where others who never thought writing to be their passion could actually for once consider “Is writing for me?”
I feel like it's such an underrated yet overrated passion. Yet it's not acknowledged as much.
I hope this post can make you understand that writing is 90% lonely and you are not crazy for thinking so. But, we can use the resources we have today, like social media, to change that and make writing better for the present and the future.
Thank you all for reading. And please, if you are considering joining a community if you haven't already, please join The Write Right Society. We recently met 100 members, and the community is continuing to grow.
#writing#thewriteadviceforwriters#writeblr#creative writing#how to write#writers block#writing tips#on writing#writers on tumblr#aspiring author#authors of tumblr
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This is how Lilia's trial and visions will happen (I think) - Spoilers
TLDR: Lilia will read tarot as her trial and that's how she sends all those messages to her past self (jump to "THE VISIONS" section for the most interesting part).
I have written about Lilia a few times before because I think she's a crucial character in the show, so I'll try to put it all together here into a single post. I believe Lilia is literally the Fate of the coven - she sewn the sigil on Billy and she's going to sew the coven circle together (as per ballad lyrics "Circle sewn with Fate"). She even runs a sewing "side hustle" Lilia's Leggings. So I think her episode is going to be epic and sad at the same time. I think this is the one addressing that "Time slip" hint in ep.1.
I believe Lilia's "blips" fall into two categories - "tarot cards" and actual "messages".
When she says a name of the tarot cards out loud, it has two consequences - 1) is that she clearly alludes to the MEANINGS of the cards, but also 2) notice how they always look like the exact scene she is referring to. So the tarot cards images become what Lilia sees as Fate. She even seals them with her sigil sign in the lower right corner.
The tarot cards she mentioned so far (card meanings from biddytarot.com):
Three of Pentacles - right after she wrote the coven names down (ep.2) - the card looks like the summoning circle scene from Agatha's basement - you can even notice Billy being included there. Card meaning: UPRIGHT: Teamwork, collaboration, learning, implementation. REVERSED: Disharmony, misalignment, working alone.
High Priestess - when she meets Jen at Agatha's house and says it almost surprised (ep.2) - Jen happened to be standing in front of a painting in a way that looked like she had rays coming out of her head. Card meaning: UPRIGHT: Intuition, Sacred Knowledge, The Divine Feminine, Subconscious mind. REVERSED: Guardian of the Subconscious mind, Teacher of sacred knowledge.
Three of Swords - as Jen is trying to heal Billy (ep.4) - they are on a PURPLE road, in the WOODS, and Agatha is standing in that pose, holding Billy's head. Card meaning: UPRIGHT: Heartbreak, emotional pain, sorrow, grief, hurt. REVERSED: Negative self-talk, releasing pain, optimism, forgiveness
Knight of Wands - as Alice blasts Agatha (ep.5) - the Knight has the same stance as Alice in that moment. Card meaning: UPRIGHT: Energy, passion, inspired action, adventure, impulsiveness. REVERSED: Passion project, haste, scattered energy, delays, frustration
The Tower [reversed] - during palm reading for William Kaplan (ep.6) Card meaning: UPRIGHT: Sudden change, upheaval, chaos, revelation, awakening. REVERSED: Personal transformation, fear of change, averting disaster
The remaining cards are:
Death - the relevant scene probably comes in episode 8,but Lilia sees it as she finally recognises Rio? Card meaning: UPRIGHT: Change, Transformation, Transition, Ending. REVERSED: On a verge of a meaningful change, Opportunity to embrace change, Massive personal transformation
Queen of Cups and the Tower - the scene will probably come in this episode 7 as flashback to Lilia's youth. Card meaning: UPRIGHT: Compassionate, caring, emotionally stable, intuitive, in flow. REVERSED: Inner feelings, self-care, self-love, co-dependency.
Now Lilia's message "blips" are:
shouting and flailing her hands - when Agatha and Teen ask her to join the coven in ep.2
writing the coven names (same scene as above) - this is the one premonition where we see big bursts of power - the electricity flicker around her, the water boils and it all seems really intense.
shouting "Get off me!" and looking like she was pushing someone away - just before the witches begin summoning the Road in ep.2
"I love you guys" - when Jen questions Sharon about her poison symptoms in ep.3
"Try to save Agatha" - when she and Agatha are searching for potion ingredients in ep.3
"Which is it, am I wispy or am i kooky?" - when talking to Alice about her mum during the trial in ep.4
"Alice! Alice don't" - shortly after the one above
"You know, we really kind of hated each other in the beginning, but now....[Zones out]" - during the campfire scene when she seemingly talks about the vampire scar in ep.4
"I hated this the first time!" - when there are loud, uncomfortable noises at the start of the trial in ep.5. (HOWEVER, I am not 100% convinced this is an actual blip - I felt this was more of a shout out to ep.4 where they also experienced loud, uncomfortable music. It was only Billy who pointed out that "Lilia was being weird again". And yes, if he is able to read her mind, then maybe it was an actual "blip". Or maybe a red herring. )
the palm reading scene and casting the sigil in ep.6. Notice the light was flickering again.
So, with all that in mind, I believe her trial will be something like this:
We know Lilia is the oldest witch in the coven and has lived for some 450 years, through many tragedies and the many ways the women were persecuted. She is also always so vocal about the negative stereotypes that surround witches - she mentions poisoning apples, green skin, broomsticks, talking to goats etc. And in this episode we see that Lilia will be dressed as Glinda (the Good witch), Agatha will be Elphaba (the Wicked witch), Jen looks like the Evil Queen from the Snow White, but in her old hag form and Billy is Maleficent. And even the "yellow" road feels like a call-back to the Wizard of Oz.
So it looks like Lilia, by being the good witch, will need to confront those negative stereotypes about witches yet again. I believe her test will be a tarot reading. Lilia's powers are that she can "read people" and "read time" (ep.5). We also know she was chased out of villages for "accurately predicting tragedies" and I think as an empath, she hates that part of her powers. But through this trial she will also understand that she actually has the power to predict something good and control the outcome, maybe even be able to prevent a tragedy that has already happened in the past.
From the promo material I believe her trial will take place in a tower and that Salem Seven will somehow be able to enter the trial room. There will also be swords sticking out of the ceiling, threatening to fall down and serving as a timer. It's interesting that one of Agatha's posters brings the elements together. The poster imitates the cover of "the Crucible" - a play about the Salem witch trials. So not only another nod to prosecuting witches, but also to the Salem Seven themselves. The elements of the poster also include the swords and the motif of the thread of Fate and how it controls everyone.
Now, look back to The Tower tarot card - roughly, it could also stand for "sudden, disruptive revelation" - kind of like Lilia's 'blips'. Notice on that card there are people in black in the air (Salem Seven?), blasts of electricity and a blue crown falling off the top of the tower. I am not clear how Billy's crown will fit into this though.
So I think Lilia will be doing her tarot reading, slowly uncovering cards and saying their names out loud. This will take her back to the moments in the past that she associates with the meaning but the visual image will become the scenes as explained above. She will realise she can not only transport her spirit into those moment but also be heard, so that she will be able to send messages to the coven in the past - the "blips" that we've seen throughout the episodes. But she might not be able to control it as well as she thinks yet, and some messages will be broken in two, while some will be unintended "unfiltered" things she just says to people in the trial room.
As Fate she will be able to see what could happen if they never walk the Witches Road. She will realise she is the one who has to put the coven together and so she will need to send her past self the list of the witches names. In this, she will also see William's Kaplan death and realise she was the one who has to put the sigil on him, to hide him from Death collecting him - this in turn will allow Billy Maximoff to enter the body and save him.
THE VISIONS
The messages could be in any order really, but I feel each blip can be explained:
As she's tapping into her subconscious mind, the reading could be starting with "High Priestess" [card 2 in the list above] - and she sounds surprised because it is as if she was actually standing back in Agatha's room - the realisation is only now slowly dawning on her.
Maybe one of other witches that are in the trial room with her (Jen in response to the High Priestess?) starts antagonising Lilia's kookiness, because they want her to just hurry up or don't understand what's happening yet. So Lilia, just as she reveals the next card "Knight of Wands", then responds to Jen in annoyance "Which is it, am I wispy or am I kooky?!" [blip 6] (btw, "wispy" also has a nice connection to Air, so I can see this word being used in the episode before because it's Air trial).
But then, as she says this, Lilia realises she is standing in front of Alice from the fire trial (in spirit anyway, Lilia is still physically in the scary room). She exclaims in relief "Alice!" and realises Alice can actually hear her. So this is Lilia's chance to warn her about the events of Agatha's trial. She begins saying "Alice, don't try to save Agatha!", but mid way through, her spirit gets transported to the first trial in ep.3, searching for potion ingredients. So Alice only hears "Alice don't..." [blip 7] and Agatha hears "...try to save Agatha" [blip 5].
At some point Salem Seven break their way into the tarot room and Vertigo releases her cicadas, flying around Lilia's head. She flails her hands and screams, while her spirit is inside her shop where Agatha and Teen just approach her [blip 1].
She eventually discovers her own card - "Queen of Cups". She transports herself into her past and we get her backstory.
But then we get repeat of her nightmare from ep.3 - Lilia uncovers the "Death" card. She sees the death figure approaching her maestra. But with that, the figure comes into light and she finally recognises it's Rio.
The pain of her memories leads her straight to "Three of Swords", momentarily finding the scene where Jen is healing Billy. She realises death was there all along.
She has the revelation that Rio - Death - has been after Billy all along - "The Tower Reversed". The lights flicker. She finds herself in her tent, in front of William Kaplan. [blip 10] She sees his life split in two and puts a sigil on him to protect him from Death.
But with the "tower reversed", the whole room is literally reversed - the ceiling with swords is now floor and Lilia and Salem Seven find themselves drifting towards the blades in the air. One of the Salem bumps into Lilia as they fall and she shouts "Get off me!" [blip 3] as pushes them away (while her spirit is transported to the moment before they opened the Road).
She realises she doesn't have much time left, she knows what the next card is, even though it's floating in the air. She focuses all her energy and channels her spirit to write the list of names herself [blip 2]. It takes enormous effort to stay focused on that one moment, hence the energy around her is bursting. (this could also explain the bolts of lightning on the tower card). She finishes by revealing and naming the last tarot card: "Three of Pentacles".
Finally, as she drifts towards the deadly swords, Lilia, relieved she completed her task, is transported to sitting in front of the campfire with the other witches (ep.4), reminiscing their stories. This is a fond memory so she starts saying "You know, we really kind of hated each other in the beginning, but now.." [blip 8] and before she can finish, she gets transported back to the "Huge tiny lies" house "...I love you guys" [blip 4]. And with that, she dies...
...
Phew. You got this far. So - what do you think?
Bonus: I think there are rumours we will finally hear Patti sing and unleash her full potential.
#agatha all along#agatha harkness#kathryn hahn#aubrey plaza#rio vidal#agatha all along spoilers#agathario#lilia calderu#patti lupone#mcu fandom#mcu#marvel mcu#marvel#agatha all along theory#fate#teen#billy maximoff#william kaplan#jennifer kale#alice wu gulliver#aaa spoilers
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First Date Headcanons PT. 2 🎱 ❤️
Masterlist | Rules
Request: "Can you do one with Leo Valdez?"
Content: First Date Headcanons
Warning: None
Pairing(s): Character x Gn!reader
Character(s): Annabeth, Leo, Luke, Ethan
Annabeth Chase
A movie while painting
I mentioned before that I don’t think Annabeth is the type of person to sit down and watch TV/movies
I stand by that
That’s why I think the two of you would have a secondary activity while the movie plays
Like paint by numbers or some kind of shit
No sharing the painting, though
Because Annabeth likes to do her own thing and not share
She will slightly judge you for whatever you make or how you do it
But she doesn’t mean any harm and will not tell you
Doing a secondary activity also allows the two of you to talk
Because I think the first date is an important time to learn about a person
Even if you are already friends
Afterwards, she would keep whatever you make and keep it on her desk
To be reminded of you
Leo Valdez
A pool hall
I get the vibe that Leo would be really good at pool
Like he would make his own Cue because he loves the game and is really good at it
Obviously, he wouldn’t hustle you
Because it’s a date
But the next time you go together
Be ready to lose some money
But the first date is chill
Not a serious game being played
Could drink at least three cups of pop
Because he is nervous
Would be cracking jokes left and right
He wants to hear you laugh
To see you smile
If you are bad at pool or don’t even know how to play, he would get up behind you to show you
Whispering in your ear
Trying to make you blush
Luke Castellan
Strawberry picking
Not a lot of things to do around camp
Unlike strawberry picking in the mortal world, the sun wouldn’t be beating down on you
Luke would make sure that no one else is in the field as you two make your way down the rows of strawberries
Would try and feed you a strawberry
Saying that it will be the best thing you will ever taste
He is a smooth talker alright
Ethan Nakamura
Cards
Not uno or go fish
But like gin rummy or war
And even if you didn’t know the game
He would take his time and explain it to you
And if the two of you have a group of date with other people, then he would make the two of you team up against whoever you are playing with
Would have music lightly playing in the background
A playlist of his own music that he thinks you might like
I see Ethan listening to a wide range of artist
Like From Fleet Foxes to the Specials
And I think he would be a big Amy Winehouse fan
He likes upbeat and happy music because that makes him happy
Would have a few snacks like chips on the side
Big fan of salt and vinegar chips
#annabeth chase x reader#leo valdez x reader#luke castellan x reader#Ethan nakamura x reader#leo valdez x you#annabeth chase#luke castellan#ethan nakamura#pjo headcanon#pjo fandom#pjo series#pjo headcanons#first date#percy jackson headcanon#percy jackson x reader
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Hello! I love your writing and I hope you're having a good day/night! Could you do Sonic dating someone with social anxiety and is also an introvert? I struggle with social anxiety myself and have a hard time speaking up sometimes, especially with new people. Sonic is a comfort character of mine that I'd think would do his best to help their anxious partner in situations where they're overwhelmed. Take your time write this! No pressure at all!❤️
sonic dating a reader with anxiety ; headcanons
WARNING: Anxiety
PAIRING: Sonic the Hedgehog x Reader
NOTE: Thank you so much for trusting me with this request! I poured a lot into Sonic’s support here. Remember, there’s no pressure to be anything other than yourself here. Take care, and know you’re never alone in this! ❤️
Sonic had always been able to talk to anyone without a second thought, so it took him a little while to fully grasp the extent of your social anxiety.
At first, he’d notice that you’d freeze up or look uncomfortable when around new people, or that you’d stay in the background at gatherings.
But once he understood, it clicked for him in a big way.
The idea of his favorite person being scared or overwhelmed really tugged at his heart, and he made a silent promise to help in every way he could.
Whether it’s a small gathering with his friends or a larger event, Sonic keeps you close, always aware of your comfort level.
If he sees you start to withdraw or tense up, he’ll step in smoothly.
Sometimes it’s with a joke to defuse the situation, sometimes with a quick distraction, or just a comforting hand on your shoulder as if to say, “I’ve got you. You’re not alone.”
Sonic is very perceptive of when things start to become too much for you.
If you’re at a crowded place and he notices you’re feeling uneasy, he’ll lean in with a gentle,
“Wanna go somewhere quieter?”
If you nod, he’ll flash you a reassuring smile, and in an instant, he’ll whisk you away to a quieter corner or outside where you can catch your breath.
He’s never pushy, always giving you the option to leave if that’s what you need.
Sonic has a knack for knowing when to use his lighthearted, playful approach to help lift the weight off your shoulders.
Sonic quickly picked up on the times when speaking up felt impossible for you.
If you’re at a restaurant and struggling to order or around others who are dominating the conversation, he’ll step in for you without missing a beat.
“Hey, can we get a little more space here?” or “Mind if we let my amazing partner share their thoughts?”
His casual way of giving you room to express yourself makes things a bit easier, knowing he’s on your side.
Sonic’s always hyper-aware in crowded spaces.
He’s like a human (or, well, hedgehog) shield, positioning himself so you’re buffered from the hustle and bustle.
He’ll keep you close, sometimes holding your hand tightly, or if you’re really nervous, he’ll even wrap his arm around you protectively.
Sonic’s not usually one for PDA, but he’ll make an exception to help you feel safe and grounded.
Sonic celebrates your small victories, knowing how much courage it takes.
Whether it’s speaking up in a group, meeting a new friend, or even just making it through a social outing, he’ll always be there with a proud smile, a high-five, or a quick
“You did awesome, I’m so proud of you!”
It’s never over-the-top or embarrassing—just Sonic’s way of reminding you that every step counts.
Sonic knows that sometimes, you just need to be alone to recharge.
He doesn’t take it personally; in fact, he admires how self-aware you are about your own needs.
If you let him know you need a day to yourself, he’ll give you space without hesitation.
But of course, he’ll check in with a quick text like,
“Hope you’re doing okay! Take all the time you need. Catch you soon, alright?” so you know he’s thinking of you.
When Sonic senses your anxiety building up, he’ll subtly try to get you laughing, often with something silly just to lighten the mood.
He’s not afraid to make a fool of himself if it means you’ll feel a little less tense.
Sonic doesn’t shy away from asking if you’re okay when he notices you’ve been unusually quiet or down.
His usual upbeat tone softens a bit as he gently checks in,
“You seem a little off—wanna talk about it?”
He’s a great listener, and even if you find it hard to talk about your feelings, he’ll give you all the time you need, never rushing or judging.
Even though Sonic will step in when you need it, he also encourages you to find ways to work through your social anxiety at your own pace.
He’ll suggest small steps, always patient and gentle, understanding that it takes time.
“Wanna try saying hi to Knuckles on your own today?” he’ll ask with an encouraging grin.
He’s proud of every little step you take.
Above all, Sonic’s love for you is constant, patient, and kind.
He never makes you feel ashamed or like you’re a burden.
He sees your social anxiety as a part of you, not something that defines you.
To him, you’re amazing just as you are, and he’s always there, ready to support you no matter what.
#sonic the hedgehog#sonic the hedgehog x reader#sonic#sonic x reader#sonic fanfic#sonic fanfiction#x reader#ask#request#fanfic#headcanons
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pac: your next glow up ★
(one, two, three, from left to right) ☾ this is a general reading - meaning not everything might apply to you, so please only take what resonates and leave what doesn't!
PICTURE ONE ★
there's been a very limited outlook on life recently that you're slowly starting to get over. you need to realize your potential and stop wallowing in self-pity. is what you're doing truly making you happy? it's time to take a step back and reevaluate everything in your life.
there'll be a sudden creative outburst. maybe you're gonna try out a new hobby that's going to help you move forward in life, maybe you're thinking of a new creative way to make money, etc. i think some of you are gonna start using art as a way to express/cope with your feelings?
confidence! whatever you're going to start doing or whatever change you're going to make in your day-to-day routine, it's going to make you way more confident. the way you present yourself will change and more people will give you the recognition you deserve! other people pointing out your achievements will also give you a sense of self worth. sometimes we don't see what's right infront of us until other people point it out.
overall you'll be in touch with your creative side. more patient, confident, empowered and you feeling comfortable with yourself is going to help other people overcome their insecurities too! don't be afraid to talk about your journey with confidence. give some advice to the ones around you (but don't be overbearing), they'll be thankful (sooner or later haha).
some advice: don't let things stress you out anymore. start meditating, journaling or maybe start working out. try out different things to figure out what helps you release stress in a healthy way.
PICTURE TWO ★
expanding your horizont. gaining wisdom. hit pause for a second and look at what you have achieved so far. are you satisfied with everything? what would you want to change? look inside of yourself and realize that you are enough.
you need to realize your self worth and you will! you don't even know the impact you have on other people. i think few of you realize that others do look up to you, maybe you're kind of the leader in your friend group, at home, etc. you like being in control and that's good! but you also need to able to let loose. no one's going to think less of you if you suddenly decided to have a bit more fun than you usually do (and even if they do, you shouldn't care).
yeah, that's definitely what i'm getting here. let yourself have fun. let loose! i know education/career is important, but please understand that it is not everything. never let that define you or be the foundation of your character. there's a life outside of hustling, i promise. you're going to break yourself and work or study yourself into a burn out.
i think what you need is a balanced.. routine. between having fun and studying. don't let work/education take over your life, but i don't see you guys fully immersing into the "fuck work i'm going to have fun 24/7" life style and i don't think it's going to something you'd feel comfortable with anyways. this is what i see for you guys. a balanced lifestyle. peace and quiet when you need it. i think you're going to get more inner peace, too.
PICTURE THREE ★
first things first: i see some of you moving away, whether it's for college, your job, or maybe your entire family is moving. i think what's needed is a change of environment, which will broaden your horizon.
even those of you who are not moving: change is coming your way. it's going to scary for some of you, but this is for the better. think about the outcome. you need to welcome change in your life. stop avoiding conflicts, stop doing this stop doing that stop sabotaging yourself! change can be good. switch up your routine. eat healthy. think about what can help you in the long run.
ground yourself and think about what's really important to you. are your needs met? what's lacking in your life? are/how are you trying to overcompensate for the things you don't have right now? are you maybe suffering from heartbreak, depression or insomnia? it's not hopeless. you're not hopeless. really confront your feelings. that's the only thing i can say, but you need to internalize it. confront your feelings and sit with them. figure them out.
yeah, the glowed up version of you is different, it's welcoming change. positive change. you'll work on yourself, i can see you growing into someone that's confident, hopeful. optimistic, brave even. instead of running away from your problems, you're going to face them. you're going to help other people with what you used to be struggling with. you're going to use all the knowledge you gained to help other people grow!
you're going to look at the person you used to be and realize it was all worth it. change seems scary at first, but remember: it will always work out for you.
#pick a card#pac#pick an image#tarot#pick a pile#pick a card reading#tarot reading#pac tarot#this is my first pac im nervous
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