#and has always driven me absolutely nuts

[sidetongue]

There are so many people in my day to day life who see dogs as just pets. So many people who don’t understand how much I’m struggling with Miller’s condition. Even people in my own workplace are surprised by how “hard” I’m taking it. The reality is these people go home to a partner or family of an evening, I go home to my dogs. That sounds really miserable and antisocial - but I’m an independent person and I’ve bought my own home and set up my own life and I’ve done it all by myself… except for the little pack of supporters who’ve been there through it all. Miller has been through it all.

Miller knew me when I was 18 and living with my grandparents; still a kid and having no idea about being an adult. Miller knew me when I went through my first break up, and she stuck around through the heartache. Miller knew me when I first ventured out into the big wide world; renting a “big girl house” with a friend and having a stable income and working towards my dreams. Miller knew me through my second break up, where I fled the country and went on a journey to “heal myself” and left her (and Henry) with my grandparents. She didn’t mind. She enjoyed the extra snacks. Miller knew me when I bought my first home, alone, and was right there beside me throughout.

She’s known me through my entire adult life. But I’ve known Miller through the day when she first came home… carsick on the passenger’s seat with only petrol station toilet paper to clean it up. I’ve known Miller through her “drug overdose” where she decided to snack on a pack of ibuprofen (again, with Henry). I’ve known Miller through horrific and uncontrollable ear infections. Where I thought the kindest thing was to let her go. Where I saw her in chronic, severe pain and several ear surgeries and procedures. I’ve known miller through her, um, “back end” problems, and having to remove stitches from her actual butthole. I’ve known Miller through her mellow years, where her only crimes are barking at a yellow lab on the beach or greeting our guests with a loud and persistent voice.

Today someone came to my house and there was no loud voice to greet them. She’s in a vet clinic cage, yellow as a highlighter, trying her hardest to stay alive. She’s 8 years old and has lived a life rich with joy and adventure, but my god I’m not ready to say goodbye yet. She’s not grey, she’s not creaky, she’s still got so much life in her. So many more rivers to swim in and songs to dance to and yellow labs to bark at. Every waking moment is spent agonising over my special little blue dog.

We don’t see leptospirosis where I am located. It’s very rare, and my vets have little experience with it. Today we contacted other hospitals in places were it is more prevalent so we can get a better idea of what we’re dealing with. It can take 7-14 days to see a turnaround. Miller is on day 4. I don’t know how I will afford 14 days of intensive care. I don’t even know how to think about money right now. I don’t know when the right time is to call it; to let her rest, or whether she wants me to keep fighting for her. Every minute is a nightmare and I miss my best girl.

[celestie0]

Some headcanons about Kickoff college!Gojo, please!

hellooo my love i’m so sorry this took me a while i wanted to post ch9 first!

kickoff!gojo headcanons pt.1 unserious & fluffy edition lol

ᰔ these headcanons are based off of my fanfic “kickoff” which is about popular frat boy soccer college athlete gojo lol & there are spoilers below ᰔ for my kickoff readers: most of these are so unserious and/or fluffy (not rly much nsfw) hope u enjoy!!

kickoff!gojo who almost got arrested once for running away from the cops. he wasn’t even in trouble for anything they just started chasing him bc he started running 😭

kickoff!gojo whose primary love language is physical touch and so all of the times he’s had to NOT touch you has driven him absolutely fuckin nuts. positively BONKERS he’s practically been lobotomized by the restraint he’s had to exercise to not touch you

kickoff!gojo whose frat once hosted a date auction to raise money for rush and gojo singlehandedly raised $20k in one night from the bidding bachelorettes (and bachelors)🧍🏻‍♀️he has yet to go on all of those dates he owes them 😅 he runs away anytime his frat president tries to bring it up LOL

kickoff!gojo who is actually a pretty decent student, i mean he’s a business major so womp womp ofc he’s getting by just fine. i think his favorite class he’s ever taken was freshman year econ bc him and todo got into sm shit in that class and it's some of his fondest memories

kickoff!gojo who was literally picturing a life with you on the italian countryside when you were telling him about it. self inserted to the MAX

kickoff!gojo who is always the first to like all of your film photography slideshows on instagram because he has your post notifs on :”) you and messi are the only ppl he’s got post notifs on for 🤣

kickoff!gojo who thought he would be okay with watching your life from afar, through small pictures on his phone, but the thought devastated him more n more w every waking minute

kickoff!gojo who realized that having you wrapped in his arms at the end of ch9 was the closest thing he’s felt to peace since before the night his father passed away

kickoff!gojo who hasn’t really kept too much memoribilia of his father since a lot of the memories are painful for him, but he’s kept that old soccer ball w his dad’s signature n word of love for his mom on it

kickoff!gojo who wouldnt have been able to get through the trauma of losing his father if suguru wasn’t there by his side. he would’ve really lost himself, and would’ve given up on soccer if not for suguru's support. he's truly really grateful for him

kickoff!gojo who knows what his sun, moon & rising signs are because he’s been ran through 🙄 smh. WHORE

kickoff!gojo who plays for charity soccer tournaments on the weekends whenever he can 🫶🏼💕 he loves it bc there’s less pressure to play super well & also he loves getting to meet the people that the events are helping out

kickoff!gojo who has a massive sex drive (he got that athlete testosterone 😔🤚🏼) esp around someone he genuinely likes AHEM YOU so beware that if you start dating him he’s gonna beg you to put it on him at least 15 times a day and you’ll have to reject him 13.5 times

kickoff!gojo who is not ready to be a father at ALL at this point in his life but he’s thought ab how nice it would be to teach his kids how to play soccer someday :”) he’s givin me girl dad vibes tho, and you just KNOW he’s gonna be cheering on his lil girls when they’re tearing through the little league w their sparkly princess tiaras & tutus on 😤 he’d be the little league coach for sure LMAO

also little league coach!gojo would 100% promise to let the kiddos shave his head if they win the championship game 😭 i can just imagine you yelling at him when he randomly comes home bald one day

kickoff!nanami&choso&suguru who would be such protective soccer uncles to yours and gojo's duaghters. not a single boy would ever get NEAR those girls i'm telling youuu. pls pray for them haha

kickoff!gojo who figured out you were mina’s roommate through a little bit of facebook stalking. and yes, he scrolled all the way down to your embarrassing middle school photos. and yes, he still likes you despite seeing them. more, even, when he thinks about it. also, he’s pissed you had a digimon themed 9th birthday party and you didn’t invite him 😒 what’s up w that

kickoff!gojo & kickoff!choso who once illegally played an off-season tourney abroad in spain for a lump sum lmfaoo and it was a pretty decent cut of cash. but shhhh dont tell the NCAA ab that pls or else they’re fucked 💀

this is all i could think of rn haha thank you anon for the ask and hope you enjoyed them <333

[fluffyglass]

Coming ABSOLUTELY NEVER, Bugsnax 2! Taking place 2 decades after the first game, explore Snaktooth Island from a new perspective with an entire new cast of characters!

(Character Info under cut, I'm putting way too much effort into this)

First off, our new protagonist: Yolka Woolbag! Lacking a feeling of purpose after the death of her mother, Yolka arranged an expedition to Snaktooth Island to uncover the mystery of where she was born. However, throwing a wrench into that plan is her sudden disappearance and loss of memory, leading her to have to rediscover who she is and why she's there at all!

The first grumpus you'll meet, Writney Bumblenuzzle is the crew's nurse, and is already very tired of dealing with Yolka's amnesia. Contrary to her profession, she's passive-aggressive and would really rather do anything but her actual job.

A roughhousing ex-rodeo clown, Kessie Cattlespur's a rootin' tootin' has-been, longing for the good old days. While he's far past his prime, he believes he still has it in him to act as he did in his youth, but those days are long behind him.

If you need any information on the new bugsnax you'll uncover in Bugsnax 2, Camby's your grump! A zoologist with a bit of an obsessive streak, Camby is passionate about preserving the habitats of native creatures, and isn't too keen on consuming all the natural wildlife.

A niche painter and successful architect, Alferg Barbweaver's incredibly talented, but not very passionate about his art. Laid back and not particularly driven, Alferg's coasted by on the minimum effort required in... almost all parts of his life.

Very large, very stupid, and very, very cowardly, Garriel Grizloop's had a history of people being scared of him for his appearance. He's always trying to gain the approval of others by helping whenever he can, but hasn't found much success in his attempts.

A faded star, Charona Dapplechap has moved on from her days as a showgirl, but still longs for her youth when she was talented and beautiful. She and Kessie have quite the history, and really would rather not speak about it.

An alumni of the brilliant Professor Fizzlebean, Hadley Stormbrewer is an obnoxious snob with an ego the size of his brain (which he claims to be quite, quite large). Despite his accolades, he's quite secretive about his area of study, and besides his previous studies, he doesn't let on much about his background.

If you don't wake up at 4am to work out, can't lift twice your body weight, and dare to eat something with more than a gram of sugar, you're clearly not putting in enough effort, according to Steffonie Jumpinjack. The biggest health nut around, Steffonie's a bit pushy and judgemental, but ultimately well-meaning in her want for everyone to be healthy.

Come one, come all, to Biggie Scotchtop's Bugsnax Circus! Always desiring fame but never achieving it back home, Biggie's attempting to create something the world has never seen: a full circus with bugsnax performers! Her endeavours have yet to be successful, but she'll try anything to get the fame she desires.

If you've read a single magazine in the past years, you've obviously heard of infamous travel blogger, Gazzo Starsnap. A bit airheaded and out of touch with "poor people" reality, Gazzo's only on Snaktooth to take photos of the exotic landscape, take a vacation from his "very busy" life, and of course, dig into the local food!

Nobody quite knows Druple Jamnut. She's secretive, somewhat off-putting, and seems to know a bit too much about the island for someone who's never stepped foot there. She disappeared around the same time as Yolka, but unfortunately hasn't resurfaced since. Nobody's been too keen on looking for her.

That's all of them I'm obsessed with this project please ask me about it ok byeee

[ponett]

ive seen you post about doctor robotnik's ring racers occasionally on twitter and would like to hear your overall thoughts on the game

I'm enjoying it a lot! It plays well, has a ridiculous number of unlockable characters and tracks, and is generally just really polished. This would be impressive even for a paid indie kart racer that cost like $20-$30, but for a freeware fangame that's somehow built off of Doom? It's nuts. So much love and care went into this. I've been having a lot of fun playing through all the Grand Prix cups and clearing out the challenge board, which I've only completed 47% of it even with over 15 hours of playtime logged.

It's absolutely one of the most hardcore kart racers I've ever played, though, and that's gonna turn some people off. While playing solo even easy mode can be difficult, especially thanks to the rival system that gives one CPU buffs over the others. Anything below 150cc is a complete joke for me in Mario Kart, but even playing on the "normal" difficulty in Ring Racers (now renamed "intense" in the 2.2 patch) kicks my ass, and if you place poorly in a Grand Prix race it gives you a game over and makes you redo the race. I can't even imagine touching the higher difficulties at my current skill level.

This is compounded by how technical the game is and how many options are at your disposal. Spin dashing, tricks, fast drops, collecting and spending rings, an item roulette that can be manually stopped, a high risk high reward chargeable melee attack when you have negative rings, the ability to harass and be harassed by other racers while positioning yourself before the start of the race, gates that can only be passed through when you have a high level of boost, lots of items with different quirks that reward skilled play. And of course, perhaps most daunting of all to new players, there's the game's unique slope physics designed to mimic how they work in the 2D Sonic games, which will often require you to either spend rings for a small boost or stop and charge up a spin dash to get up a steep hill.

All of these add a lot of complexity to the game that can be pretty daunting early on, which is why it has an infamously long story-driven tutorial to introduce all of these mechanics. I'm not sure said tutorial actually does the best job introducing how those mechanics will actually be put to use in races, but I can't blame them for thinking the game needed it. (I do have to admit I am annoyed by the game's insistence upon framing everything via Sega Saturn inputs, though. I had to open the settings screen to figure out what buttons the tutorial actually wanted me to press.)

Some of these things have already been addressed in the first couple patches, of course. You can now exit the tutorial way earlier, some unlock requirements have been relaxed, there's an option to let the game automatically use your rings for you, easy mode has been made easier, a handful of problematic courses have been tweaked, etc. And I'm sure they'll continue to refine the game based on player feedback. But it's probably always going to be a fairly hardcore game. It's hard and has a high skill ceiling by design. Nintendo's never gonna make a super technical new Mario Kart for sickos - not on purpose, at least. They need it to be a pick-up-and-play party game that sells 70 million copies. But a freeware fangame not beholden to shareholders can experiment more and try to cater to that more hardcore crowd. Say what you will about Ring Racers, but it absolutely has a specific creative vision of its own beyond "Sonic Mario Kart," and I respect that even if the game sometimes frustrates me

[the-s1lly-corner]

Could you do the TADC cast x reader with a really heavy southern accent?

TADC cast x reader w/ a heavy southern accent!

hello i am back from my silly little lunch break i made a sandwich it was very yummy i need to find a new set of music to listen to while typing, as much as i love jack stauber i think im going to go insane if i hear baby hotline one more time... oddly enough not the first time that specific song has driven me nuts from being overplayed anyways idk side note idk what to do with gifs because i keep running out of TADC gifs and i got a reblog months back on a crp post that implies that gif makers get notified when you use their gifs?? is that true?? if so i am so so so sorry to the tadc gif makers TToTT also still gif related but i keep getting. jumpscared by butts n boobs anytime i open the gif thing i cannot keep doing this!!!!

CAINE:

i think he would find it pretty, like, i dont know how to explain it! i think he would possibly mimic some of your speech mannerisms. probably gives you a cowboy hat. i dont know what it is but i think southern accents, at least from what ive seen, is one of the most romanticized of american accents... maybe its the whole rugged cowboy thing thats commonly associated with it. what im trying to say that i think caine would romanticize it the same way, thanks to him not really having the experience of going out and interacting with people from the south

he finds the accent pretty

POMNI:

i dont think she would really notice it unless she is really trying to pay attention to what you say. but maybe thats just self projection because i myself dont really notice other peoples accents unless its very prominent, or they say something that sounds so different to how im used to hearing things. i feel it would be the same with pomni, but i dont think she would treat you any differently! wish i had more ideas but pomni and gangle are particularly hard for me to write for some reason

RAGATHA:

honestly i like to hc that she grew up in a southern small town before getting stuck in the digital world, but of course she wouldnt remember it... perhaps she would feel some sense of familiarity around you anyways, even if she cant pin down why.. i think that would be nice... she likes listening to you talk

JAX:

writing these out of order, but i think jax would be similar to caine in the regard that he would tease some of your speaking mannerisms. "yaint! yall'd've!" stuff like that... which... i can be mad about because im from the south and the two examples are in my vocabulary... hes not really saying anything thats incorrect, at least in my case

probably asks why your digital form isnt a cowboy, shit eating grin on his face

KINGER:

thinks it sounds nice! for once i dont have any ideas for kinger, which sucks because i love kinger TToTT

your words probably rub off on him, i can see him probably picking up on some of your terms n slang

kinger saying yall isnt real he cant hurt you

kinger saying yall:

ZOOBLE:

similar to pomni they dont notice until theyre forced to notice.. no but imagine your accent becomes more pronounced when you get mad, you start saying more stereotypically southern stuff that people associate. probably does a double take if you say a rather insane variant of 'yall' but otherwise doesnt see much point in pointing it out

GANGLE:

absolutely loves hearing you talk, similar to ragatha! while ragatha clings onto your words thanks to unknown familiarity, gangle just thinks your voice sounds like and soothing, comforting! i dont know what it is but hearing someone trying to comfort you with a heavy southern accent as well as using casual terms of endearment (whether you see this as romantic or platonic is up to you!) in this soft tender voice just always hits different for me. maybe i am guilty of also romanticizing southern accents

[sendmyresignation]

if you wanna indulge me, id love to hear your opinions on sing (all of mine are detractory which i know isnt the complete view of the song)

omg id love too!! sorry this took me a sec to formulate post-work haha. i know we don't agree about sing but honestly that's the beauty of music opinions- I feel like it becomes easier to define what I like about things when faced with legit measured criticism anyway

for me, i want to start with the structure and instrumental since it's usually not mentioned (most of the criticisms of sing are exclusively lyrical or intention-focused). it's so cool. and evocative. and full of tension!! my favorite use of synth on danger days, plus the keys and the drums (man i love the dd studio musician drums lmao), really emphasizes sing as a suspended moment both in the album (necessary bridge, tonally, between bulletproof and planetary imo) and in the track itself- its alllll building up to that bridge and final chorus. but there's all these little pieces- the backing vocals, there's so many hidden guitar parts that riff just under all the noise, that opening like, tambourine. sorry for not having a quote on hand but Ray's said he really loved writing sing and it's so totally obvious to me. especially live- part of the reason I was soooooo excited for sing swarm tour edition is that even during dd ray was like absolutely shredding for sing after the bridge. and everytime time it's so good. part of the reason the lyrics don't bother me is sing could stand alone instrumentally and I'd still want to listen to it. (sing also reminds me of Ray's solo music- the sentiment is more significant that the lyrics and the music is itself a vehicle for storytelling)

also though, i think there's a lot of intention with sing (it's up to the listener to determine if that paid off obv) but within the context of dd the record as a pirate radio station, sing has always read as a trojan horse song. making it a single too, like once a song takes on a life of its own outside the record there's new meaning and circumstance. so both within and outside the killjoy universe sing is a vehicle for not just the bridge but the overall sentiment of dd (how fucking excited was gerard when glenn beck took the glee bait) like, yes, i do agree they could've benefited from another pass over the lyrics (i will always defend keeping "sing it till your nuts" bc its sounds like sing it to your nuts though) but I don't personally get the criticism that sing isn't "specific enough" about what exactly it's against or is too optimistic about "sing it for the world"-- i think there are songs on the album (notably planetary right after it!) which do that job just fine. dd is gerard in arguably top lyrical form so theres a lot of meat in the rest of the record like. sing it for the world is a purposely simplistic art is the weapon. like those are the same sentiments rendered very differently!

also like. i do think there was a very directed target at the younger part of their fan base here (girl/boy) which is sweet. to me. like i did hear sing first when i was a young teen (one of the few dd songs i was familiar with) and it did feel huge and empowering at that moment. my chem are their best when they are navigating the dualities of their specific fame, which includes simultaneously making very serious, adult rock music which is concerned with violence death grief and sex, as well as being a role model for younger people and taking them seriously and neither of these are in rhetorical conflict with each other. so like whatever sing is a little juvenile. but it's still filled with passion! taken as a legitimate project with a creative instrumental and a narratively-driven music video. I like that aspect, it works for me. I'll never call it my favorite my chem song but its certainly not the worst when you add in the bridge (i wanted to prove my point without the bridge but like. damn!! it's a good bridge!!!). that's my spiel.

[thetarttfuldickhead]

Is Trent Crimm deeply disappointed that he missed the whole locker room scene where the team airs their “stop hogging Jamie” grievances or deeply relieved? On the one hand, reporter instincts for a good story, on the other hand his own morals would never let him put it I the book, massive (reporter/writer) blue balls.

re: Jamie Hogging Ask- some days ago on the Colin/Jamie post, you mentioned that you'd daydreamed out a bit of an AU where Jamie ended up dating a whole section of the team on some sort of rotation schedule. I assume that there was some dramatic locker room scene where they all hashed out that they felt it was unfair that only Colin on the team got to date him. I assume Trent was no longer hanging around the locker rooms at this point (but who knows, he may be a fixture now. also it could be mid season 3 when this all goes down, idk). But he still has the instinct to know when a really good/interesting story is around. On the one hand, he knows his conscience won't let him publish the level of ridiculousness that Richmond can sink to. On the other hand, it would be really really funny to write a whole chapter on the way that this was negotiated out, and also that a google calendar/groupchat was created specifically for coordinating who gets to monopolize Jamie and when.

Ooh, love the way you think, nonny!

If Trent weren’t around for all that he’d be massively disappointed, I think. Yes, as a (former) journalist he’s driven to share the truth, but I think he’s even more driven to know the truth. He can keep quiet when he has to – see: Colin kissing Michael – but realizing he’s missed out on Something Good? Ah, no, that’ll drive him nuts.

But now that you’ve suggested it, I am convinced he was there. Admittedly, in my head this whole thing goes down quite some time after the S3 finale, but that’s not a problem! Even though the book’s both written and published, I’m sure Trent finds plenty of reasons to stop by Nelson Road for a visit. He’s a Diamon Dog now, right? Gotta drop in for the weekly barking session! (Ted Zooms in sometimes, which is always a treat.) Besides, Trent grew very fond of the whole team while he was there, and though he gets most of the gossip from Colin – they obviously stay in touch, Trent knows all about the Jamie situation – he still wants to hear the coaches’ takes on everything that goes on, hang out with the rest of the lads for a bit. So, yeah, he’s there.

I think he might write the chapter, actually – knowing full well he can’t ever publish it, but needing to put it down even so. Get it out of his system, somehow. Also, it gives him a chance to indulge in all the (affectionate!) sarcastic and wry little comments he dutifully left out of the actual book!

Say Trent’s showed up one morning before practise while everyone’s getting changed and let’s say Roy shows up with Jamie and sort of hand him over to Colin and Colin and Jamie start enthusiastically making plans for the evening and maybe it’s Jan Maas who notes that “It’s not actually fair Roy and Colin both get to date Jamie when no one else does.”

As Roy stares at him incredulously and Dani pipes up. “I agree with Jan. It makes me happy to see you together, but it also makes me sad”, Trent’s spidersense is not only tingling but absolutely exploding and he discreetly pulls out his notebook and start jotting things down as fas as he can while the room unravels before his very eyes:

JT says he’s willing to date anyone who wants to date him, if OK with RK, KJ & CH. They are.

Explicitly wants in: Jan Maas, Dani Rojas, Jeff Goodman, Paul Reynolds, Bhargava, Sasha Kukoč.

Suspect might want in but didn’t say: Potentially everybody but Sam, but especially Arlo Dixon and Martin de Maat.  

Bumbercatch volunteers to sort out a calender & group chat bc better if it’s someone who doesn’t want to date Jamie, make sure it’s fair.

CH pleased MB doesn’t want to date JT?

McAdoo claims first date even though he doesn’t actually want to date Jamie, bc his right & duty as captain to make sure it’s ok for everyone else. JT: “What? The fuck do you mean, why wouldn’t it be ok?” IM: “I’m the captain, and I say this is happening.” JT: “Fine, but you’re taking me somewhere fancy and you’re paying.” IM: “Just to be clear, we’re not having sex.” JT: “This is the worst date I’ve ever been on and we haven’t even been yet.”

JT questions why Sam doesn’t want in on the schedule and seems offended on principal when SO explains that JT is his best friend and not some one he wants to date. JT pouts until SO offers to take him out on friend dates.

Cockburn also wants to go on friend dates with JT.

Brief but heated discussion if friend dates & boyfriend dates should be different schedueles and if it’s OK to sign up for both. CH’s attempts to question how friend dates is different from just being friend and hanging out from time to time is shut down.

Tom O’Brien wants to know if he can sign up for a date with Jamie, Keeley and Roy. RK stares at him for 1 good minute before saying “No.”

Discussion about the etiquette of not wearing Jamie out if he’s scheduled to have another date soon after your date with him.

JG: But we don’t have to check in with everyone else if we want to sleep with him, right? RK: You better fucking check in with him. B: I don’t think I want to know what anyone else is doing. JM: Yeah, that’d be weird. JT: I don’t think anyone else should get to decide if I have sex with someone or not. RK: *clears his throat meaningfully* JT: I mean, as long as Roy and Keeley and Colin don’t mind.

That’s just the first page of Trent’s notes, btw, they go on for like four more, practice is delayed by at least an hour. Keeley follows the whole thing on video call (obvs they had to run it by her before handing Jamie out to everyone who wants a piece). Rebecca stops by, blinks once and then nopes the hell out of this madness. Nate wonder if he ought to sign up for a date with Jamie, if everyone else is doing it, but he doesn’t think Jade would approve.

Colin can’t quite let go of the notion that maybe this means he could date Bumbercatch, Roy questions his sanity every other second, and Jamie is living his best life (and is delighting in the fact that the next time he sees Roy and Keeley, they are going to make very sure Jamie knows where he ultimately belongs).

[nyarlathotep-thecrawlingchaos]

Kicking and screaming because my OCs won’t leave me alone make them stop please

GODDAMMIT

Here’s Helena Lionne

Name: Helena “The Siren” Lionne

Associated fanfic: Hearing Problems

Age: 66 at time of death

Appearance:

(Face claims. Younger, Jane Fonda; older, Charlize Theron, both edited for hair type)

Thick unruly dark blonde hair and honey brown eyes. Slim figure, petite, around 5’4” height. Freckles. Sly smirk. Has kept herself in good shape and could pass for at least ten years younger than her true age prior to her death.

Loose comfortable clothes, button-up shirts that she might just tie off at the waist rather than buttoning when the weather is warmer, loose shorts or long flowing skirts. Heavy leather boots. In her younger years, she was almost never seen without her brown leather tricorne hat, but that has since been passed down to her granddaughter.

A pair of ornate daggers, ivory hilts carved with lioness heads at each of their bases, passed down to her granddaughter after her death.

Personality:

Fiery, passionate, idealistic, driven, ambitious, seductive. She was never opposed to using her beauty and charisma to get her way—it was better than violence, after all; but she was ruthless when she needed to be. She didn’t always know exactly what she was doing in her younger years, but she knew where she was headed and planned to get there by any means necessary. Ultimately she achieved her goal and became one of the most feared and revered pirates in the world, and in a fairly short time, though her heyday was a little short-lived before she retired. Still, she retired from it fulfilled and happy with her lot in life, elated to have been an influence to future generations that might want to follow their dreams free of oppression and adversity.

Her time as a pirate was cut short in starting a family, and certain mistakes and regrets did weigh heavily enough on her that she didn’t want to see her sons follow in her footsteps. She calmed down significantly as she settled into motherhood, gained a great deal more patience and serenity. Still enjoyed her rum and her wine with her old crew in her downtime, still talked fondly about old times, but she kept it hidden from her children for as long as she possibly could.

Abilities/talents/powers:

Blades: Primarily daggers and throwing knives, though she’s decent with other one-handed weapons, took the time to learn to wield them to give her an advantage in combat—to be able to pick up the weapon of a fallen enemy and use it if need be. Her fighting style relies primarily on agility and evasion, however, which made daggers her best friend. Also not above delivering a cold shot to the nuts in a pinch.

Haki: Was unmatched in Armament Haki, and focused primarily on it, though she was fairly adept with Conquerer’s Haki.

Devil Fruit: Mizu Mizu no Mi (Logia type: Water). Perhaps one of the most dangerous Logia type fruits in existence, and made her nearly impossible to combat when she consumed it in her early twenties. She might not have been able to come in contact with seawater, but she gained the ability to control water of any kind, or become water at will. Keep in mind that the human body is around sixty percent water and make of that whatever you will.

Music: The first half of her moniker, “The Siren,” Helena had a strong talent for music. Her preferred instrument was a classical acoustic guitar she had carried with her for most of her life, which her second and youngest son stole when he set out to become a pirate, but she was adept in most string instruments, as well as piano, and had a singing voice that could make any man weak at the knees.

Seduction: The second half of her moniker. Beautiful from her younger years and right up to the time of her death, Henea had absolutely no hang-ups about using her womanly wiles to get her way or get herself out of trouble. No shame in using any gift she had, be it learned or innate.

Relationships/affiliations:

Monkey D. Garp: Childhood best friend, first love, eventually husband, eventually ex-husband. Really her only true love throughout the course of her life. They fell out twice in their lives, and the second time ended up being permanent. Met when they were children, after Helena ran away from an abusive Marine father and stowed away on a pirate ship, the crew of which dropped her in Foosha Village when they discovered her. She lied and said her parents were pirates, but eventually admitted the truth when it became too difficult a lie to keep up. Garp’s father was also a Marine, as well as an older brother; his father was more than a little bit of an asshole as well, a bonding point for the two youths, and they made a pact to set out together as pirates before he could be forced to enlist himself. They left when she was fifteen and he was sixteen, stealing his father’s personal sloop to do so. Their first falling out occurred a few years later, when a firefight with a Marine ship resulted in the death of Garp’s older brother, the captain aboard the ship they sunk. She didn’t see him for several years after the fact, when he was a Marine captain himself in the North Blue. She gave herself up in exchange for the safety of her crew, in no small part because she couldn’t stand the thought of facing him in battle. In the long journey from the North Blue to Marineford, their romance quickly rekindled and she became pregnant. She and Garp conspired to contact her crew, stage a firefight with them to “rescue” her that he would intentionally lose in order to ensure she be taken to safety, under the condition that she retired from piracy for them to raise their child in a safe environment.

Monkey D. Dragon: First son. Didn’t exactly have a bad relationship with his mother, but her pushing him to try to get along with his often absent father eventually drove a wedge between them.

Lyon D. Rollo (OC): Born Monkey. D. Rollo. Second son, several years younger than Dragon. Essentially looked up to his older brother as a father figure due to Garp rarely being around (it was dangerous for Garp to be there; his marriage to Helena came in complete secrecy, and his superiors discovering it could easily result in him being arrested and potentially executed for treason, but both he and Helena kept this from their children for as long as possible). He ultimately blamed Garp for driving Dragon away, grew to resent his father deeply, refused to even accept his surname and took instead a variation of his mother’s when he set out on his own. Found out from one of his mother’s old crewmates about her history as a pirate, quickly decided that sounded a lot better than living and dying on a tiny island cut off from the rest of the world. Took a few momentos from home (including his mother’s tricorne and guitar), stole a sloop, and set out on his own at around the age of thirteen. Didn’t see his mother again for perhaps a decade. Didn’t reveal his relation to her to many, but the more he learned about her history the prouder he was to be her son.

Karimi Lionne (OC): Daughter of Lyon D. Rollo, Helena’s granddaughter. Helena took the girl in when she was barely four years old, after she ate a devil fruit (Kiku Kiku no Mi, unofficial name, seems a paramecia type that grants the user the ability to hear other’s thoughts) and her father, not much older than twenty, wholly realized how unsafe it was to have her aboard his ship. Helena agreed to take her in, under the condition that her son not have any contact with her until she was an adult, to avoid Karimi having ant influence toward becoming a pirate herself. Lyon was understandably reluctant to agree, but he ultimately did—especially when his mother threatened to take out his ship herself if she ever saw his flag on the horizon before Karimi turned eighteen. Helena raised her for ten years, taught her everything she knew—daggers, throwing knives, survival skills, music, any and everything that might help Karimi survive and thrive should she ever decide to set out on her own in any capacity. In addition, Helena used Armanent Haki to keep Karimi’s devil fruit abilities locked away, largely for the safety and sanity of her granddaughter. The pair of them were thick as thieves, and Helena was the only mother figure Karimi ever knew.

Janx (OC): Lyon D. Rollo’s first mate. Met him briefly when they brought Karimi to her. Janx’s total lack of self control led him to flirt heavily with the older woman, and Helena found him incredibly amusing for it, definitely flirted back. Nothing came of it, except for the immense discomfort of her son.

Marine Admiral Jackson “Volcano” Vesper (OC): Helena’s first mate was captured and killed by Jackson Vesper’s father, a Marine captain, when Jackson himself was still a cadet. Helena in turn flew off the handle and took revenge on the man, killing him with her bare hands, decapitating him, and personally delivering his head to Marine headquarters. Took out several Marine ships amid their getaway. The younger Vesper lost both his father and several close friends that day, not to mention his own left eye and ear, leaving that side of his face grotesquely scarred for the rest of his life. The mental and emotional scars were far worse, however, and he was left bent on revenge against the woman. At some point he consumed the Mera Mera no Mi and gained dominion over fire (precursor to Fire Fist Ace). In his hunt for Helena after she disappeared from the seas, he became suspicious of a young captain called Lyon D. Rollo, who bore a remarkable resemblance to his mortal nemesis in both name and appearance. He sought out Lyon and destroyed his first ship, killing most of Lyon’s crew in the process, including his wife—but Vesper’s second in command aboard his own ship was Garp, and he put a stop to the massacre himself, knocking out Admiral Vesper and calling for ceasefire, allowing his son and what little remained of his crew to escape on a dinghy. The incident left Vesper fiercely suspicious of Garp as well. It was this suspicion that led the now Admiral to search Garp’s office while they were both stationed in Marineford years later, where he found locked away letters between Garp and Helena—as well as coordinates to an uncharted island on the Grand Line, an island so close to the calm belt and so far from anything else that it was all but unheard of for any Log Posse to attune to it. He took an unsanctioned crew with him that were too afraid of the ruthless Admiral to go against his orders, sought out Helena, and exacted his revenge at last, slaughtering the woman and everyone in the village of Conch Cove, many of whom were her old crewmates; with the sole exception of her fourteen year old granddaughter, who he left there for dead as some sick poetic justice that truly only made sense in his own twisted mind. He told the girl she should “consider it a lesson of what happens to pirate whores and filth.” Vesper and his crew (those who hadn’t perished fighting with Helena and her old crew) returned to Marineford with Helena’s head, just as the pirate once had with his father’s. All involved were quickly arrested, executed for mass murder and misuse of World Government resources. Vesper was still laughing right up to the moment his head fell from his shoulders.

[thebreakfastgenie]

I’m curious why you like the newsroom? It always seemed like just like a mash of the The West Wing’s prestige thrown in with Sports Night’s setting and archetypes and trying way too hard to make us feel bad for Will.

I watched the first two seasons while I was in high school and the last season my first year of college. That's an age where media can rewire your brain. It was also the first Sorkin show I saw, I actually watched it before The West Wing.

I do think it shares a lot of traits with previous Sorkin works (they don't call them Sorkinisms for nothing) but I don't agree with how you describe it here. For one thing I've never considered The West Wing truly prestige; at its heart I think it's network television and the reason it got such a strong response is it operated on a level that network television usually doesn't. I've joked about mapping the archetypes from Sports Night onto the Newsroom before, but I don't think that's fair as a serious analysis. A lot of shows operate with the same basic archetypes just for storytelling reasons and I think that's all it is, with a little dash of Sorkinism on top. It's not the same setting as Sports Night and it's one that's much more interesting to me. Sports Night is about a sports show and it works because it's character-driven, but as the success of The West Wing and the failure of Studio 60 demonstrate, Sorkin does best when he has a setting with really lofty stakes. A major news channel has much loftier stakes than a sports show. To the extent that it's The West Wing meets Sports Night I think that's a good thing, because it melds some of Sorkin's strengths from both shows. But hey, three of his four shows are about television behind the scenes.

I think the Newsroom is very different from Sorkin's other shows, because it was on HBO, because it was made a few years later, and also because he was working with some different collaborators and you can tell. At the time it came out, it was making a very good point about the role of cable news in society (it's a bit dated now because cable news has since been largely supplanted by social media).

I responded really well to the characters, and a lot of my continuing fondness for the show comes from that attachment. I think there are some genuinely great performances in that show. I like all three seasons, but it's definitely a show of diminishing returns, but I rewatched it within the last couple years and I think the first season holds up as a really strong piece of television. I love the gimmick of setting the show a couple of years behind the present in order to use real news stories and my biggest criticism of the later seasons is Sorkin didn't stay committed to that. I think when it was new it offered a really interesting perspective on events we all remembered unfolding. I think about that a lot now when political memory seems so short.

The show is absolutely trying too hard to make us feel bad for Will and I think I love him in way more of a "god, he sucks" way than Sorkin intended me to. But Jeff Daniels is so good in that role that I can't not care about him. He's funny and that goes such a long way with me.

I've come to view Will and Mac as the kind of messy, toxic, "it's good that they're together so they stay away from everyone else" couple and I really enjoy them that way.

The moment that really gets me is when Will meets the "what makes America the greatest country in the world?" girl again and says "you do." The entire first season is a refutation of "this generation is the worst" and it drives me nuts that that clip went viral without the follow-up because it totally mischaracterizes the show.

Some of the character arcs are really messy, but some of them are great, like Don. There's enough to keep me coming back.

Also I'm a lesbian and the cast includes both Jane Fonda and Olivia Munn.

[bisluthq]

I mean...maybe Joe entertained a bit but as Taylor said in other songs a lot of it was projecting due to her past. She seems to have always been kind of possessive about him. Always thinking every woman who looked his way could be a threat. And again maybe he could never make her totally secure, but Taylor has always been like this and if you take into account her past relationships there was a baggage.

And as long as you don't work on that baggage, you're going to carry that with you and it doesn't matter how much the person tells you I'm not going to cheat on you, I'm not going to leave you. Like you always have that bug in your ear, but what if he did what if he gets tired of me. It was probably stressful for Taylor, but I imagine it can't have been easy for Joe either to constantly be accused off that.

At some point you probably feel like actually doing what she fears so she's right. And it's a bit of a self fullfilling prophecy. You keep thinking he will cheat, so if or when he does you're like yeah I knew it. It's exhausting to live like that for both of them. And Taylor is a bit of a flirt too tbf. At this time it's also ironic if she was still going on sets out of jealousy, yet the cheater was her 😬🥴 isn't there a saying that people who are so afraid people cheat is because they are the ones actually doing it?

yeah no I think it was exhausting for both and also absolutely she was projecting at the end lmao. Also lmao at the end I genuinely think she’d have been relieved if he’d cheated because it would’ve given her the moral high ground ykwim? And also why I think she’d have called it out directly not continued to say vague things about how he wasn’t trustworthy because she would’ve felt way less guilty in Guilty as Sin if he actually WAS fucking someone else (or even wanking to TikToks of other women). But yeah I think it just seriously sucked for both.

Again, this is EXACTLY like that situation my friend is in and my bf’s take is that she’s being super unreasonable because she literally views every woman who looks at him as a threat while being fairly flirty herself (she once like grabbed my bf’s ass and it freaked him out but it was in front of me and even if it wasn’t I don’t care) but she’s told me like it’s the fact that he’s never once even vaguely shut it down that bothers her. He leans into the attention and she fucking hates it. She actually contrasted it with my bf who, despite talking a big talk, gets VERY uncomfortable when other women flirt with him. To the point where like we were out one night (not the night of the big fight this was a while back) and I was being my jolly little self over at the bar and he was sitting at a table and a woman came over and came onto him quite hard and I saw that and my friends and I were like “wow that girl’s down bad” and that lasted like 30 seconds before he started gesturing at me very intensely and this girl ambled over to me and bought me a drink and started apologizing for “hitting on my man” and I was like “dude please that’s very flattering to me, if no one else wanted him then why would I” but anyway that was him shutting it down. Whereas that friend’s bf would’ve 100% sat there talking to the girl and it would’ve driven my friend mad. That’s how I imagine it was with T/J a lot. Like he just… entertained it and it would drive her nuts and make her feel less bejeweled.

[rat-off-string]

(taps mic) (coughs) hi its me, average sad queer person. I just finished my first playthrough of "Creatures Such as We" by Lynnea Glasser. Its an interactive fiction game that isnt Too Long that its overwhelming, but long enough that it delivers a very (VERY) satisfying narrative. I loved this story! Under the readmore I went autism mode and wrote a review for it, but the TLDR is: Awesome choice based story with dialogue that doesn't feel weird and good racial and queer representation.

The story is FULL to the BRIM with CHOICES you can make- I got so immersed, I could project onto my character without the dialogue feeling weird. Its always a bit strange when the character you play as say something that you wouldn’t, especially in a choice-driven game. Creatures does a really good job of dialogue that fits your personality. Creatures is also super inclusive, allowing you to play as a nonbinary character (yippee!!!) and allows you to pick from diverse racial options that go BEYOND "white, black, vague POC" despite it not affecting the plot much (at least from my experience of it.) The cast of characters overall also features racially diverse characters, and at least one queer person! (I cant be certain of other characters, but the one I romanced was queer! hooray!) The actual narrative of it is so fun, too. It takes place in space, with some sections of it taking place within a game (THATS NUTS!!! a game in a game!!) You're a tourist guide on a moon base, which is already a bonkers cool concept on its own, but the subtle worldbuilding of it is really intriguing. Despite it being a generally lighthearted thing (for the first half, at least), the story did a great job at making me feel anxious during some of the more tense scenes. I'd get into the story more but I really don't want to spoil it. Theres breaks between chapters- you've got to wait around 5-15 minutes between a few chapters, but it only really happened to me about 3? 4? times throughout the whole thing, and the story took me few hours to get through. The breaks were nice, and gave me a moment to stretch and reflect on the story so far, ruminate on some choices. You can also pay to skip the wait, a one time payment of $5, but the author definitely deserves more support than that HAHA. But I'd argue the experience was absolutely more pleasant with little breaks in between. I'm almost certainly going to be playing through it again, definitely making fanart once I have the time, and ABSOLUTELY going to recommend it to everyone I know. And in case I haven't convinced you yet, heres some other reviews on the site!

[A]n incredibly engrossing tale of labour, life and loneliness in the future. -Leigh Alexander [T]here's just a lot of meaty interaction, together with a plot that keeps moving briskly along, some beautiful moonscape imagery, and a deft handling of inner and outer game plot. -Emily Short

[jitters-art]

Sasuke: 25, 28, 30

Naruto: 25, 28, 16

this ask game

sasuke

25: when do you think they acted the most ooc?

uhhh the very end of shippuden when he’s leaving the village and sakura comes running after him to ask if she can come.. and he POKES HER FOREHEAD and says maybe next time….. HE WOULD NOT DO THAT. HE WOULD NOT DO THATTTTTTT the rage that instilled within me…. anything after ch 698/699 isn’t actually real To Me though and everyone is insanely ooc so uhh it’s hard to pick otherwise. the thing with sasuke is he’s constantly pulling unpredictable things in which in the moment it seems a little crazy or weird but it’s always further explored later and then it ends up making sense….. so i feel like for him i have to use an end of shippuden moment T.T but i offer this as a replacement panel

[ ID: a manga panel of sasuke tapping sakuras forehead. he says “i’m gay.” END ID. ]

28: the most unnecessary thing they ever did?

this is so hard. sasuke didn’t do a single thing wrong so i’m really trying to figure out smth that he did that was unnecessary… okay i thinkk maybe what i can say is this.. although i do understand why he would do this, and it was absolutely in character— a product of a pre-teens pent up rage and trauma— i do think him challenging naruto on the hospital rooftop in the classic was unnecessary. i don’t blame him for doing it, nor do i think he was necessarily in the wrong or out of pocket, but in the grand scheme of things it was unnecessary. was it necessary for him? absolutely, he needed to do this for himself, to answer the question thats been nagging him for ages… but all in all i guess i can say that it wasn’t really necessary.. this is still so hard to say tho because I GET IT I GET WHY HE DID IT and i do believe that for *himself* he had to do it otherwise it would have driven him nuts, but in the grand scheme of things he technically didn’t rlly have to. maybe.

30: the funniest scene they had?

well the first thing that comes to mind is when he reanimates the previous hokages and interrogates them to decide whether or not he’ll destroy konoha.. cause he’s intensely asking these questions to the hokages of past and has questions for every single one of them except minato LOL like he really just leaves minato standing there the whole time in silence… listening and learning… OH OH WAIT NO hold on actually i think a scene that made me laugh harder is when he and naruto are fighting kaguya and she shifts them into the location with lava and sasuke summons his eagle and everyone else is falling and naruto yells “sasuke, over there” pointing to sakura and kakashi, and sasuke looks over for a second before immediately looking back and saving naruto LMFAOOO bro did not care ajsjshsjhs hold on i’ll rb it in a min too ik where to find a screen recording ehehhee it makes me cackle

naruto

25: when do you think they acted the most ooc?

i think at the beginning of the war arc while he’s being hidden away training with killer bee… there’s a fair bit from this i think is slightly ooc but the biggest thing to me is while he’s addressing “dark naruto” at the waterfall… i just frankly don’t believe he would be able to push away and ‘get over’ all the hatred and pain and agony inside him that he’s been repressing for years caused by the way the village has treated him just like that.. and then the waterfalls like ‘oh shit yea u did it you are No Longer Angry or Hateful’….. like there’s just no way he can suddenly just accept all that after 16 years.. uhm ok i love that he hugged himself and i think it was very sweet and cute, and i wouldn’t trade that out for anything buttttt there definitely had to be more to it than that to make it something that naruto would actually be able to move on from and work thru while staying in character. that was just a speedrun to move on the plot quicker heh.. it’s just ooc.. naruto has been a hateful little menace his whole life there’s no way he can get over all that pain stored inside him so quick in that moment… ugh.

28: the most unnecessary thing they ever did?

i mean i think it’s stupid and funny but i’m gonna have to go with the obvious practicing reverse harem jutsu more than the rasengan… WHY DID HE DO THAT LMFAO other than to look at naked boys 🤨🤨 sus? also just like… forgiving so many people that should not have been forgiven. jiraiya, sakura, itachi, village as a whole, ect ect…… idk very messed up. i think a lot of the writing around naruto getting rid of his anger was very sloppy and not well written.. so i think the way he just instantly forgives these ppl is unnecessary.

16: a childhood headcanon?

naruto bleaches his hair.. so as a kid he had black hair for me :p (and during long missions when he doesn’t have time to do touch ups his roots start growing in hheheh).. also i think narutos apartment was so messy all the time because he really didn’t like spending time in there all alone.. so he’d do what he needed to (eat, sleep, bathroom, ect) but then would immediately head out.. so he didn’t really care for cleaning since he was rarely there anyways…

[vintage-bentley]

honestly? fuck them hets im a Beelzebub/Michael truther.

they could have left Gabriel either dumb oblivious comedic relief or made him rethink his shitty behaviour after Aziraphael went to all the length to somewhat help him out (even though he ABSOLUTELY didn't have to do it, esp after all the shit Gabe pug him through) because he is a kind soul and still a responsible angel.

ineffable bureauhets crowd was insufferable even after s1, idk it's gonna be worse now. hets-shut-the-hell-up-and-let-homosexual-couples-have-their-moment challenge fr

PREACH.

Gabriel’s character development should have been joining Aziraphale and Crowley in fighting for humanity. He should’ve learned to see their perspective…and if that means he has to be with Beelzebub, fine, but that should have come with character growth and appreciation for the people who PUT THEIR EXISTENCES ON THE LINE FOR HIM.

The ineffable bureauhets crowd has always driven me nuts tbh. They’re clearly just starved for heterosexuality (but want the quirkiness of “queerness” at the same time). Like I’ve said before, even if it was Michael and Ligur it wouldn’t bother me as much, because that phone call + Archangel Michael showing up to Crowley’s trial while a low level demon showed up to Aziraphale’s in season 1 raised questions for me about what their relationship was.

But Gabe and Beez is just…ugh. It’s especially painful when the song that was used throughout the entire marketing campaign (which centred ineffable husbands) ended up being Their Song. I hate them ❤️

[andypantsx3]

Hii I just wanted to say always love hearing you talk about books!

As much as I love reading the biggest downside for me compared to fanfic is that there aren't any people immediately available to talk about a story with. I love that most often I am actually able to tell the author how much I loved their writing and seeing everyone in the comments express what they thought and felt is something I am so so grateful for!

But after I finish book that I have opinions on, whether I am freaking out over how great it was or if it made me once again question the publishing house that allowed it to go into print I am just like?? What am I supposed to do with myself now? most like i stare at a blank wall for about an hour to process and then try to move on with my day, it just not the same as being able to hear other peoples opinions on it. So, if you have any more book recs or just book thoughts please share them, it's really entertaining to read!

I hope you have/ had a good day :)

Ahhhh Archer you are such a good lil egg!! I I love talking books with other people too!! It drives me nuts because some of my faves are so niche and no one else I know has read them, because very few other people share my tastes.😭

I'm curious what your fave books are?? It's so hard to make recommendations without knowing your faves because I think book recs should be personalized to the recommendee's preferences. I would never rec my faves to the vast majority of readers, because they don't really appeal to the majority of people!!

But I guess that being said my all-time fave book as everyone already has heard me say ten million times is The Goblin Emperor, and I almost died of happiness when my beloved @acerathia read it too and I got to chat about it hehehe.

People are shocked when they learn this, because I am a silly idiot romance author and this book is very much not that. It's a meticulously-planned hurt/comfort fantasy of manners that is heavily character-driven. But to me, it is perfection. It is the pinnacle of literary achievement. It is so contemplative and explores the unique grief of losing people who were cruel or indifferent to you, about being kind in a world that makes it extremely hard to be, and about finding/making your own family in the face of social norms that would isolate you!! I just like how it gives you space to learn and process things with the MC, and how by the end of it you feel like you've grown as much as he has!! It's so earnest and hopeful and good and makes me want to rip apart a phone book with my bare hands!!!!

Another fave I semi-recently read is Winter's Orbit, which I think I have talked about on here too. It's another hurt/comfort-y found family narrative, only this time with real romance and space gays!!! The author actually first published this novel as an orig fic on ao3, and I think you can tell that by how much they seem to love and respect the tropes they employ. We get a little bit of the classic sunshine/raincloud dynamic with the two MCs, but the author does some absolutely fantastic character work and turns that right on its head, fully fleshing out both characters' buried personality traits, insecurities, and personal histories so that you end up with these two absolutely lovely good people who your heart totally aches for. It very much reads like an ao3 fic in the absolute best way, but polished and shined to perfection.

Another fave that I always blab about is the Pink Carnation series. This one is exactly what you would expect from me. It's silly idiot regency romance shenanigans, with several scoops of academia and historical espionage!! I think the author does such a good job at balancing the silliness of a fun romance with the intrigue of an actual historical thriller, and the characters are hilarious. This is the sort of thing I'm talking about with MCs who have major side character energy, as our first novel's protag Amy is good-hearted and smart enough in specific ways, but she is also unfailingly a horrible detective with a very limited perspective determined to be something she's not, and it also gets her into tons of sexy fun trouble.

So yeah!! If I had to blab about anything and rec things without knowing your specific tastes, it would be my holy trinity lmfao. But tell me more about ur faves, I wanna know!!!!

[lightlycareless]

CHAPTER 34 HAS ME RUNNING IN CIRCLES CLAWING AT THE WALLS LOSING MY MIND,,, HELLO?? HELLO??? naoya just absolutely losing his mind writhing in emotional pain,, incredible stuff i agree w the staff. it is exactly like a car crash and i can not take my eyes away. hes so cringefail mariya. girlbossing standing in between the two of them... very strong of her. i talk a lot of shit abt naoya but i hate conflict and i'd probably start shaking and crying if i had to deal with him so mariya being able to just put herself right in the middle of all that and act totally normal about it is VERY impressive. props to y/n too for acting so normally too-- either that or naoyas just extremely oblivious to body language and emotional cues and doesn't notice them freaking the fuck out. 50/50

naoya detective arc,,,, it would be charming of him if he weren't so deranged. in fact its KINDA terrifying how incredibly focused and driven he was to figure everything out no matter how far back he had to trace it. like-- it'd be INSANELY hard to hide anything from him unless absolutely everyone involved in it was able to be IN on it and know how to keep up a lie to him. kinda fucked!

tho on the detective arc part-- it makes perfect sense for HIS deranged ass to immediately jump to the worst conclusion that y/n lied to him, despite the fact i imagine its still possible the package could've been stolen from inside the estate by one of the staff? as in, the worker got the wolf stamp, but it could've been jumbled up or stolen after entering the estate. not like he's thinking that far ahead tho,,,

FINALLY he sees her w naoaki and we get a whole-ass confrontation-- im going NUTS here this was SO intense. naoya's arc here plays on one of my FAVORITE villain tropes, the 'villain who genuinely doesn't realize he's done anything wrong'. those are always so good but rarely do we get the moments of said villain realizing how badly he's fucked up im SO excited for how this is going

the way naoya is genuinely sure he's not done anything wrong and doesn't realize how badly he's hurt her vs. naoaki thinking he's just pretending to be oblivious to get out of consequences- DELICIOUS STUFF. naoaki pulling the "because you *love* her?" in whats probably intended to be a mocking way and then realizing "oh shit. he does actually. oh this is a fucking mess isn't it" and feeling kind of guilty about it... is it weird i want them to make up at some point too in all of this? god knows naoya needs some fucking friends (besides ranta)

"Naoya doesn't... *can't* care for me... because he doesn't care for anyone but himself." Y/N WITH THE STEEL CHAIR,, FROM THE TOP ROPE,, might as well have just shot him. definitely did the equivalent of knocking him unconscious considering he apparently doesn't remember anything that happened afterwards. i like to imagine he just dropped unconscious right on the spot and they just left him there.

the dream sequence part KILLED me i genuinely believed up until maybe midway through this was real. ALSO HE CALLED HIM BROTHER,,, my onii-san joke rings true,, at the funniest possible fucking time,, wish he'd say it outside of a dream,, the y/n sneering at naoya and laughing at him was i think what gave it away-- i was willing to believe her and naoki went off to finally fuck after all that but sry y/n i do NOT believe you're willing to make fun of him that hard to his face yet. yet. i think you should though some time

but fr this WHOLEE dream sequence is soo important to his character its so good at illustrating the fear of failure and rejection and abandonment-- they're SO crippling for him to such a degree he ends up making it worse on himself and making this fucked up self-fulfilling cycle houghhh its so much,,

naoaki getting woken up in the middle of the night to naoya slamming into his room demanding to know where y/n is-- i NEED to know what he thought in that moment he mustve thought naoya's gone fucking insane esp when he just LEAVES right after without explaining anything

and then y/n probably thought she was gonna fucking die when he just showed up out of nowhere. actual jumpscare moment. also her being intrigued by just how disheveled and awful he looks? me too.

WHAT WAS HE GONNA TELL HER. IM WAILING AND CRYING DID HE EVEN HAVE ANYTHING HE WANTED TO SAY OR WAS HE JUST DESPERATELY TRYING TO GET HER TO STAY,, AUGH,, depending how loudly he collapsed to the floor and loud his crying was i wonder if y/n were able to hear him?? i think she should definitely see him crying at least once-- i wonder how she (or naoaki) would even handle him just breaking down into tears,,

ohmygod i wrote. a lot here. anyways. 20/10 chapter. im chewing on him. tysm for these incredible developments im foaming at the mouth to see whats next

Hello!!!!!

YEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSS JUST EXACTLY WHAT I WANTED HAHAHAHAH I THRIVE IN OTHER'S ANGUISH.... lol.

Ahem, anyways... 🤭 I'm glad you liked this chapter!!! This has to be up there, in my top 10 moments of the story (we still have others though... but yeah, still up there) and the one I was dying to write for the longest. I don't know if it was enough "punishment" for Naoya, but it's good to see him be reminded of his stupidity :)

His downfall is something that I think many were expecting tbh, or at least see him get kicked down a notch lol He was out there thinking himself to be the king of the hill for far too long, someone had to remind him he’s not that special 😂

I’m pretty sure the staff’s perception of Y/N changed drastically once again, into a more positive I mean. They’re out there admiring how she was able to do what many couldn’t and can’t help but wonder if she has the potential to ruin the Zen’in if she wanted to—of course, that stops when Naobito is added into the equation, but they still like to daydream about it haha.

Mariya is a character I would consider 100% fed up with Naoya’s (or just about anyone from the clan) shenanigans, so that makes it easier for her to stand up to him, although I’m sure she’s still intimidated by him. Thankfully her extensive knowledge of how everything works around the estate helps her out in these situations, it’s kind of like a… “gray area” for her to exploit—something she can use if she ever gets in trouble with Junko or Meiko for example, she can easily say “I was just doing what was requested of me” and they’d be like “unnnghhhh I guess!!”

Besides, she has job security in the sense that Meiko considers her to be the best worker there (after her, obviously lmao) so she wouldn’t dare lose the order Mariya provides; because she’ll whine and cry about it, enough for Naobito to intervene, making him wonder why she was fired, forcing Meiko to say “well, because Naoya–“ and yeah, I don’t think anyone to be in that situation hahaha so she’s safe.

I’d say Naoya is greatly oblivious to body language when it comes to… socializing? Cause he’s great when it comes to analyzing targets in a jujutsu environment, but even then, I think he’d still be somewhat bad compared to others 😂 he's the kind of person that believes brute force overrules everything else, so he shouldn't worry about those menial details. (Kind of like Endeavor from MHA? Like he's a great hero, but in the sense of crime fighting, he didn't really care about making a fan base or anything else really... OUTSIDE OF SHOTO OF COURSE)

And because Y/N has always been “coy” when he’s around, he doesn’t think much of it outside of being normal behavior from her, so yeah, he didn't get any sense of "something's going on" when she acted the way she did.

Naoya being derange isn’t a surprise to anyone at this point 😭 I’m telling you, he does things that under any normal context it would’ve been sweet, but since he’s… him, it’s not lmao. I can’t imagine how terrified Y/N was upon hearing he went all the way down to the post office just to find out what happened with his gift. He’s determined, that’s for sure, and it makes her wonder what other things he's done already—although at that moment, at the same time she was hoping she’d be able to escape this situation… well, alive, she was mostly worried that her letters might be uncovered too. Thankfully Naoya was focused on something else 💀

And yep, the way he jumped into conclusions was eerie, but I think it was because deep inside him, he knew that was what actually happened. He had enough of bad history with his wife to know that she, more likely than not, discarded his gifts. Did he ever wonder why? No. Would he dare to ask? I don’t think so. And even if he did, would he understand? I think he’d feel offended if anything, more so when Naoaki’s gestures had been happily received. Oof.

Maybe if he wasn’t so paranoid (or heart broken, let’s be real) he might’ve considered someone else from the staff, leading him into another wild goose chase; good, this is revenge for what he put Hinata through.

I’m glad you liked the confrontation!!! It was above everything, awkward, cause there’s no actual confrontation coming from Naoya if that makes sense? Like he’s not open to actual conversations, he just wants to know the why of certain things, and if it fits his ideals, good, if not, God help us.

I definitely believe Naoaki thinks Naoya is so… “isolated” from the real world that he might actually, genuinely not know what he’s doing—can’t blame him, he had Naobito and the rest of the family as guidance lol—but his inability to even consider other possibilities is what always frustrates him 😂 poor Naoaki, he can’t go on with his life without being constantly disappointed by his relatives. (Have Mai and Maki disappointed him too? I wonder...)

My favorite part, and I’ll never stop talking about it hahahah, was when he asked Naoya if he “loved” Y/N aughagaga DAMN the skepticism was there 100% for sureeeeeeeeee, he was hoping to hear his brother say something like “yeah, I do” so he could be like “bullshit!” and continue to take out his frustrations, but the way Naoya remained quiet, looking away almost as if embarrassed!!! Now that’s when he knew there were feelings for her—beneath the complicated layers that make him a monster, Naoya was still capable of harboring sentiments for someone else (Allegedly… all allegedly…) and Naoaki immediately felt bad for putting him on the spot like that. He still cares for his baby brother after all 😭😭😭

I certainly feel bad that their relationship turned into this—I can only wonder what occurred on the manga for Naoya to want them (more) dead lol. If he’s already unhinged at 19, imagine at 27 💀 Ah, but one can dream….

AHAHAHAH Him just spacing out immediately after Y/N said that is, ugh idk satisfying and sad at the same time—like sure I feel sorry that his wife was like “no, you don’t care” and I could’ve had her say something like “ewww” but Y/N isn’t that disrespectful; and come on what was Naoya expecting 😂?? For her to be like “omg I’m so sorry Naoya I should’ve known” please!!! She was appropriate enough to state the truth, that he doesn’t care for anyone but himself, he should’ve just taken it and left them (which he did: I imagine he remained quiet, spacing out as he stared at the two before turning around and disappearing into the hallways. Naoaki and Y/N look at each other, wondering what happened before wondering if he’s going to return. Naoaki tells her no, but that she should be careful nonetheless. Y/N goes with Mariya, tells her staff what went down and collectively decide to keep a low profile—Hitomi offers to keep a lookout on Naoya, only stopping when she overheard that he was in his room and has been for the past few hours. They go on with their day, or attempt to, and that’s when Mariya decides to let them know of her secret hideout)

To irritate Ren, I decided that the song that best fits this scene is this one. And just for a little, tiny part before the chorus and Mel B's part hahahahha. That's the only thing that actually applies to their whole dilemma at this point.

Now, the good part… The dream sequence was the one thing I’ve been wanting to show you for a while now hahah I just kept teasing you about it, and I’m glad it got the reaction it did hahahahhahahhhahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

I was 99.9999% sure that most of my readers would immediately catch on to the fact that this was a dream, since I’ve never portrayed Y/N to be that crazy, you know? Like her making fun of Naoya is off the table completely; sure, she’s made some jokes here and there, but they’re always lighthearted—or at least I think that’s the impression one gets when reading them—never off the rails as this dream sequence 💀 leave that to Naohiko lol.

Either way, I tried my best to cover the fact it was a dream, and if someone saw right through it, it still served to show just how messed up Naoya is on an emotional at this moment.

But yeah, this nightmare worked really well ‘cause there was that lingering question of whether Naoaki and Y/N were finally going to do something more… intimate. I feel that if I hadn’t worked their relationship up to that point it would’ve easily been like “nah, this is a dream goodbye” 😈 glad it worked in the end hahahah!!!

Now that it’s mentioned, the scene where Naoaki is disrupted by Naoya is ironically funny—it was so out of the blue first he was like “I sleep” and then Naoya comes into his room to ask the most random question before leaving.

Naoaki for sure thought he made it up—he was worried for Y/N and overworked by all his duties that he was like “Man, I’m even starting to dream about Naoya wtf??” his slumber overtook him almost immediately after; had he not been that exhausted you can be 100% certain he would’ve gone after Naoya.

And I agree—Y/N for sure thought she was going to die at that moment, although it was a fear that quieted down a bit for the sake of her staff’s wellbeing… yet, the thing that surprised her the most was to see Naoya so… disturbed—he’d seen him angry, arrogant, a complete monster… but she’d never seen him so defeated. So yeah, I think she believed she was going to die, but more in a sense of shock of not knowing what the hell was going on.

Now, for your last question… Naoya desperately wanted to keep her there above anything else, but his broken heart also wanted to tell her that he did care for her, at least to some extent, if not then why would he have married her? A mystery for sure. If I had to boil it down to a singular reason, it was him wanting to tell her how much he wants to be with her. Happily, be with her.

(No one heard Naoya cry, outside of Y/N retreating as quickly as possible, I envision him to be a silent crier in a way, not wanting anyone to hear him out of fear of being reprimanded more than shame—Naobito as a father must’ve been really, really tough. And if anyone did hear him, they would’ve never thought it was him to begin with.)

Thank you so much for tuning in for another chapter!! 🥺❤️❤️❤️❤️ I really greatly, enormously enjoy your asks, they give me so much insight about things that sometimes escape my mind!! Kgagagkak I don’t know how to describe it, but they motivate me allot 😭❤️

I can’t wait to show you the rest of the story…. Another…. Specific part I want you to read (well, more than one, but that one is another favorite of mine) hahahahahaaa

Once again, thank you so much for your support 🥺😭❤️ I shall strive to deliver the next chapters to the best of my ability!!!

Take care, and hope to see you soon 🥺❤️

[trickstarbrave]

i dont wanna bug op but like

to the person who rbed from me specifically and posted these tags:

#this is hilarious because dricing the speed limit is not gonna get you hit..#you really think ppl will rear end you because Youre drivimg the speed limit?#do you understand that if you get rear ended it is quite literally always their fault unless they have PROOF#that you intentionally break checked them?#rear end is always the person in backs fault i havent ever heard it ruled another way and thats how my accident was ruled w no investigation#no one will read end you because they know it would ruin their life#theyd be out a car theyd get a ticket and possibly arrested you sue them and then they cant ever replace that car#literally they cant because the used car market is nuts#no one is going to hit you guys like cmon thats the worst excuse ive ever heard#you guys are really so impatient that travelling 20x the speed you could generate on your own is too much??#jesus christ...#this is why i dont make friends this behavior is ridiculous and if i get in a car w someone and their speeding all over#im getting out of the car and were not friends anymore like you dont invite someone in your vehicle and drive unsafe w them

you are correct that getting rear ended is almost always gonna have you ruled as Not At Fault. i actually recently got hit in the rear of my car. cops ruled me not at fault. i had to CHASE DOWN THIS WOMAN'S FUCKING INSURANCE TO GET THEM TO PAY FOR MY CAR. and do you know what they said? they said the car wasn't worth fucking fixing. they said it was totaled. it wasn't even that fucked up. but apparently repairs were FAR beyond what the car was worth despite buying a new vehicle costing WAY MORE THAN THAT. this debacle took literally MONTHS trying to resolve. eventually i had to get my dad involved, go to MY insurance, get the money up to what they determined my fucking car was worth, and then pay for the rest of the repairs out of fucking pocket.

i guess i could have chased this old woman down in small claims court for the fucking difference but 1. i dont think the court would have given a shit and decided its MY problem my vehicle is apparently worth only 1k dollars 2. she's an old woman that only hit me because she had fainted earlier, was trying to show her friend how to back up the car bc her breaks were fucked up, accidentally hit the gas too hard while disoriented, and hit my car. she was already at fault for her friend's medical bills. do you think i wanted to be the bad guy hounding some old woman for fucking money.

also like. it doesn't matter if they are at fault and we are going at the designated highway speed limit of 65-70 mph here. that is going to completely destroy the back of my car, potentially flip my vehicle or at the very least cause me to go off road, and i might actually die. "oh that won't happen grow up--" ive been in a near fatal car accident WITHOUT someone fucking read ending me on the highway. my wheel locked up when i was trying to make a pass and i ended up going off road and crashing into a tree. i was lucky it wasnt me going off road off a fucking mountainside bc those are common here and would have meant absolute certain death. sure they will go to jail for manslaughter but i dont want a pyrrhic fucking victory jackass i wanna live

i have driven the speed limit before. i had ppl up my fucking ass who then pass me and flip me off or deliberately made a point to drive close to the side of my vehicle in a passing lane to intimidate me. "but thats illegal they can't do that" astute observation shithead. do you think when i am worried about Not Dying as someone who has Nearly Died In A Car Accident Before because some jackass has decided killing both of us is a valid response to a mild inconvenience i wanna try and get their fucking license plate and call the cops who will tell me "we'll look into it" and do fucking nothing?

i would really genuinely love to not live in a shit place like this. our car centric infrastructure is also done in a way that de-incentivizes actually going the speed limit for most ppl (did you know ppl slow down if the streets are more narrow naturally? yeah they also speed the fuck up if there are like 7 fucking lanes on this road). people here drive like maniacs. i've also nearly been killed for even dumber reasons than someone deciding to ride my ass down the highway like coming to a complete fucking stop on the highway leading to me having to swerve into 2 other lanes. and i was GOING THE SPEED LIMIT DURING THIS INCIDENT.

tl;dr:

"someone might rear end you bc u live in a place with insane ass drivers? yeah right thats illegal, people can't do that!"