#and has a pie chart!

[twicethetrouble]

i haven't played sims yet today.

Which would be more of an achievement if i hadn't, instead, spent every free moment making/reworking spreadsheets to play Sims with.

[ducktracy]

I went to see the day the earth blew up bc of your post and I can't believe Daffy Duck is confirmed transgender

YAAAAAY I'M SO HAPPY TO HEAR THIS!!! that's great!!

i've been loving the influx of trans Daffy posts i've been seeing because of this film... he's been laying eggs since at least 1950! this isn't even anything new! always has been!

okay well this is actually incredibly misleading because that is, in fact, not his egg but he took credit for it anyway BUT. he does lay an actual egg at gunpoint ("that just goes ta show ya! you don't know what you're gonna do 'til ya gotta gun against yer head!") . so the point remains the same

also check out this officially licensed trans Daffy fidget cube? or i guess trans Tweety gay Daffy fidget cube? both? i don't know but it makes me laugh out loud every single time i see it

[the-real-sans-undertale]

read the manga three years ago and this is all i remember. gonna rewatch the anime. is this mostly accurate tho?

[whydidgodmakemesostupid]

Does this mean anything

[miirshroom]

Elden Ring - The Fool's Journey

The Fool of the tarot deck is sometimes interpreted as the protagonist of a story and the procession of the Major Arcana as the steps of this story. The Fool begins with nothing but the ignorant faith to undertake a journey full of hardship and pain, and believe that in the end they will reenter the world with new understanding. But the journey never ends, and so The Fool soon begins another cycle and strives for greater heights of understanding.

Rider-Waite-Smith tarot developed by members of the Hermetic Order of the Golden Dawn

Spoilers ahead from some specific characters from other FromSoft games (Demon's Souls, Dark Souls, Armored Core V).

Prophesy and Storytelling and Fate

Prophesy is a literary device. It's a kind of promise from the author to the reader that there will be a payoff for the planting and the prophesy will come true. So effectively when prophets in-universe are able to know the future it is because they have a direct access to the will of the author. The common form of the prophesy is that it is written vaguely, and retroactively shown to suit the events that actually occurred. The belief of the Fool that they can follow the proscribed steps and achieve mastery of the world is a kind of prophesy.

Elden Ring has the prophet class, and the Prophet insists that the path of the future is already laid out. One method of fortune telling is palmistry which is the reading the lines on a hand to predict a person's future. And the Finger Readers strongly allude to this, as well as Godrick directly acknowledging that palm reading is fashionable in the Capitol in volume 1 of the Road to the Erdtree manga. So the Prophet starts with the Two Finger's Seal and the Two Fingers are associated with fortune telling, and Blaidd - a Shadowbound beast assigned by the Two Fingers - is one of only two characters to ever mention the concept of "cards". Tarot card readings being another practice of fortune telling.

"The wheel of fate has been set into motion. If it's on the cards, I'd be glad to meet again." - Blaidd, after Radahn festival if not in Ranni's service"

"There is no denying it, now. A culling appears to be on the cards. One that won't overlook even an aging soldier as myself..." - Sir Ansbach, upon being repeatedly attacked

However, where these two methods differ is that the state of a person's hand (and thus the reading they would be given) is partly influenced by the features that a person was born with and partly by what the hand has been used for. In fact, the joke in the manga is that by grafting so many arms Godrick has taken the fortunes of others to give himself more to choose from. He has tried to subvert palmistry by defying the fixed path set by the hands he was born with. Grafting was his unsuccessful effort to cheat fate.

"One day, we'll return together. To our home, bathed in rays of gold.... ...Not the fool Omen King. Nor the rank malformed twins. O, we are the Golden Ones. The true and rightful heirs." - cut dialogue from Godrick the Grafted

In comparison, a tarot reading is done by choosing cards at random. But from a literary perspective it would be poor setup and payoff to shape a plot based on a random set of cards. Therefore, assume that they are not random - the Fool's Journey. The most well known tarot deck and interpretation guide (Rider-Waite-Smith) were produced by members of the Hermetic Order of the Golden Dawn (a late 19th century secret society focused on spiritual development). It is packed full of alchemical and astrological symbology, as is Elden Ring.

Who are the Greatest Fools of Elden Ring?

According to the cut-content Godrick speech, Morgott is a fool Omen. According to Sir Gideon Ofnir, Godrick is an old fool, and the player appears at first assessment to be an irredeemable fool. Morgott agrees that the Tarnished is a fool with foolish ambitions. Bloody Finger Hunter Yura thinks the player to be a fool for picking a fight with the dragon Agheel. D, Hunter of the Dead calls the player "another fool" for seeking places touched by death, seemingly self-aware of his own foolishness in seeking to weed out deathroot.

Smithing Master Hewg thinks that all Tarnished are fools:

"I see you've noticed the chains. Nothing special. I'm a prisoner, and these are my chains. I'm trapped by the Hold, undying, smithing for you fools. That's all there is to it."

From the DLC: Hornsent calls the player a mongrel blood and a fool (he places importance on blood purity in his own way, not unlike Ansbach), and Ansbach calls himself a fool for underestimating Thiollier (as mentioned before Ansbach believes in the "cards" and is thus bound to them, while Thiollier's themes are external to the Fool's Journey). If the player fails to defeat Bayle, Igon seems to have some dialogue that laments giving his finger and his soul to a fool.

The Stranded Soul at Fort Laidd is hiding from fools and brought the Fire Scorpion Charm with him in the hiding place. The charm contains hearts in a cyclical motif and nearby the fort there is a magma wyrm created by a human consuming the hearts of dragons. The Stranded Soul in Dragonbarrow near the Caelid Divine Tower complains of dryness and begs a fool dragon to surrender its heart to be feasted upon.

Boc wonders if he must be reborn - and seems to have misgivings about his fate after that rebirth - but calls himself a fool for not having the answer to this question. Castellan Jerren calls himself a foolish old warrior, wears armor that resembles a kind of Fool's motley, and calls blacksmith Iji an old fool.

Kenneth Haight has this to say of a fool: "I want you to take back my fort...A Knight commander from Stormveil took it. A fool, and plumb mad to boot. Simply obsessed with blood!" He also remarks on the Player's foolishness for refusing the offer to enter his service after clearing the fort.

The Dungeater mentions fools (and fate!) in his mad rambling:

"Hundreds will be reborn cursed, and they'll bear thousands of cursed children, who'll bear tens of thousands more. A few of those will be born just like me, and they'll kill, and defile, and bless in my stead! The rotten fools. My fate was the grandest, most brilliant of them all!"

One Finger Reader Crone speaks of a fool, but it is ambiguous who is the fool here, the “all-hearing”, or the “big pot”:

"Miquella's favour can be yours. Slaughter, slaughter, slaughter... The all-hearing slaughtered, but alas, it was for naught. But all you need do, is snatch it from the big pot....Pity the poor, poor fool!"

The Demi-Human Queen's Staff is "sneered at by fools in the academy". This does not necessarily mean that everyone at the academy is a fool, but applies to a certain faction. The spell "Glintstone Arc" declares that "fools travel in packs". Animals that may be grouped in packs: dogs, mules, rats, weasels, wolves. The singular mention of "weasel" in the text of the game is Gostoc addressing Godrick. The other animals are more common.

Seluvis speaks of the player's ability to make fools of others - naming Nepheli as being successfully fooled and Ranni as a prospective fool (doesn't work).

Diallos Hoslow is a good case study. He has seven lines of dialogue calling himself a fool - the most of any character. And the animal theming of House Hoslow is that of a ram - which has association with "beginnings" similar to "The Fool", as the warlike Aries is sometimes considered the start of the zodiac. At the least, this astrological zodiac association shows up fairly early in tarot with the 4th Arcana: The Emperor. Observe the storyline of Diallos as understood through the Fool's Journey:

10 Wheel of Fortune - Where we pick up with Diallos he has entered the service of the Round Table Hold. This is a turning point - destiny called him here as it called all Tarnished.

11 Justice - Diallos considers the cause and effect that led to the death of his servant and childhood friend Lanya (and perhaps his Lover, calling back to the 6th Arcana), and decides that he must confront the Recusants to seek Justice. This is also the first instance where Diallos applies the word "fool" to himself.

12 The Hanged Man - Rather than a direct confrontation Diallos finds himself with an opportunity to join the Recusants - originally accepting their offer for the purpose of infiltrating them. Volcano Manor also stands above the Prison Town where likely the Dungeater was hanged. In a reversal of fortune Diallos is soon swayed by the words of Lady Tanith. Interestingly, he describes the decision to pursue becoming a champion of Volcano Manor as thus:

"According to Lady Tanith... I've got the stuff of champions. And champions, ironic as it is, are oft forced walk a tainted a path. It hit me like a bolt from the blue... That my former thoughts were simple naiveté. Of course, my heart weeps for Lanya. That unfortunate incident was a cruel twist of fate indeed. But succumbing to the pain and sadness caused won't make me a champion, will it. Lanya knows this, I'm certain. Fate has laid hard roads for us both."

The "bolt from the blue" is a classic motif of "The Tower", which is 4 cards away from the Hanged Man. The reference to two roads is significant, it will come up again later.

13 Death - Diallos in his previous dialogue claims that "[these hands will] be darkened by grit, once I've set out on the path of champions". And then after the player has completed two missions for Volcano Manor he will say "I haven't achieved anything at all thus far. Even though I've dirtied my hands time and time again." It can be inferred that in the time between Diallos has set out on the path of champions - paralleling your own progress - and killed assassination targets for the Volcano Manor. In the process he experiences a death of his former principles by cutting away that which he believed unnecessary:

"I always resented these hands. Their pale complexion, a far cry from any warrior's."

14 Temperance / 15 The Devil - These also occur in the space before Diallos' next dialogue. Temperance is balance and stability - Diallos falling into the routine of Volcano Manor. The Devil is the ignorance of being in a situation from which one could easily free themselves, but do not even realize that they have been bound to a limited range of experience - Diallos failing to appreciate that there is much more that he could be living for other than dealing out death for a sight unseen benefactor.

16 The Tower - Diallos faces a crisis either when Rykard is slain (by the player who sneaks through the back routes to find Rykard) and the blasphemous core of the Volcano Manor is revealed, or when he is suddenly confronted with the final contract from Volcano manor: Juno Hoslow, Knight of Blood. This crisis shakes him free from the allure of being a Champion for the Volcano Manor.

"It's just as my noble brother says. I'm a complete fool. I can't believe I thought I could become a champion."

17 The Star / 18 The Moon - Diallos finds himself healed by the peace of Jarburg. He is hopeful that his soft hands will finally be good for something in becoming Potentate to the jars. However, Liurnia is also governed by the moon and this peace is an illusion, for the pots themselves are mad/lunatic/crackpot creations that look innocuous on the outside but are internally stuffed with gore.

19 The Sun - Diallos finally has his moment of greatness in defending Jarburg from attack. He is tragically enlightened as to what it means that "the tale of House Hoslow is told in blood" when he meets a bloody end.

20 Judgement - Diallos sheds his ego with and so his soul is freed from his flesh. That flesh will be reborn soon, as the contents of a Warrior Jar.

21 The World - Diallos's worldview was coloured by blood, and so becoming reduced to blood was his fate. A macabre twist on the end of the Fool's Journey, but it was what was called for by Diallos's character arc. And to emphasize that "blood" means more than simply a red liquid, the visual design of Hoslow's Petal Whip is fashioned in a way to evoke the visual of a DNA strand. A person's DNA is indeed something passed down through generations, as indicated in the item description.

Overall, there is significant textual support that the Tarnished in general and the player in specific is seen as a Fool. Dragon-hunters and dragons themselves are considered to be fools. And obsession with blood is a recurring trait of Fools.

Authorial Intent for the Tarot Sequence

As I mentioned previously, prophesies are an expression of the hand of the author on the story. Aside from a few references to "cards" and "fools", there is little enough evidence to be found looking solely within Elden Ring. Rather, the circumstantial evidence extends outside of the game, which is to say, from paying attention to the development history of FromSoftware.

There are coincidentally 22 years between Elden Ring and a FromSoft game called "Eternal Ring" released in 2000, which is long enough for a full cycle from Fool to Fool. One of the antagonists of Armored Core V (2012) pilots an AC unit called "Hanged Man" and with an emblem alluding to the iconography of the Hanged Man tarot card, which is the 12th Arcana. An added detail is that the hanged man is positioned in front of a guillotine - the looming spectre of death by beheading.

And there are a few hints that I've noticed in Dark Souls - such as Havel the Rock drawing inspiration from the Hierophant of 2005 (a priest in keeping with Havel's background as a bishop, and the Hierophant is associated with astrological Taurus matching his bovine leg armor and proximity to the Taurus demon), and of which 2005 was also the Year of the Wood Rooster (Havel being derived from Gallus meaning "rooster" and having a cock's comb on his helmet). Those familiar with Dark Souls may point out that this selectively ignores aspects of Havel's character such as how he carved his own armor out of stone, his hatred for Seath the Scaleless, and reputation as a Dragonslayer who uses a dragon's tooth as a club. Also there is a significant difference between a "Wood Rooster" and rooster carved of stone. But to that I would say: read to the end of the last section about parallels from other fantasy stories that are structured around a "Fool" character.

And if that was all, it could be easy to pick apart the overarching story by looking for the steps of tarot. But the pattern has been growing for 30 years and it is far more complex than that. It is - for example - not my intention today to explain the throughline of the astrological wheel as it applies to all of the Armored Core games in sequence. I do think it important to describe the truly convoluted decision to merge a second Fool's Journey to the first.

A century ending in 0 is one natural start for a Fool's Journey, but so is April 1st - April Fool's Day, which is known in Scotland as "The day of running the cuckoo". There has been one single game that FromSoft has released on an April 1st - Kuon in 2004. And like the 12th Arcana being incorporated in the year 2012, one of the puzzles of Kuon also references the year of its release - the zodiac puzzle is solved by "rooster first - monkey last" with 2004 being the year of the monkey. A cycle ends and is on the precipice of starting a new one, from the perspective that the Fool's story only truly begins upon meeting Arcana #1: the Magician. Also coincidently backtracking a bit to the previous cycle on this track will land "The Tower" arcana on the release year of "Shadow Tower".

Remember back with Diallos where he talked about two roads, and also referenced aesthetic of "The Tower", while playing out the spirit of "The Hanged Man"? Both align in 2016.

So now consider as a case study the significance of the year 2012. The Fool is the Hanged Man and suspended in a moment where the world has been turned upside down. An experience that seems too difficult to endure and the only choice is to let go. With the benefit of hindsight we know now that FromSoft did let go of something in 2012 - mecha games almost entirely disappeared from FromSoft development for 10 years after being a core part of their development for the previous 20 years. 9 of 29 (31%) from 1994-2003, 16 of 31 (52%) from 2004 to 2013, and 1 of 7* (14%) from 2014 to 2023 (*8% if counting DLC’s). The true last mecha game before AC6: Fires of Rubicon was Armored Core V: Verdict Day in 2013, with a name that speaks of finality and released in the year matching the 13th Arcana - Death. And as well as continuing the Fool's Journey the natural next step is to travel into the underworld - and so picks up Dark Souls. Hence the double-entendre subtitle of the Dark Souls Complete Edition directed to both the player and FromSoftware's long-running AC game franchise: Prepare to Die.

In the second Fool's Journey, 2012 is Arcana #8: Strength, following after Arcana #7: The Chariot. These tarot build off each other, as the Artorias of the Abyss expansion built off the base Dark Souls in the consecutive years of 2011 and 2012. Strength is associated with patience and tolerance and with the Fool having the courage to go on despite disillusionment, such as that which occurs in-universe upon learning that Artorias did not defeat Manus, Father of the Abyss, but instead fell to the Abyss. The Chariot is the Fool achieving the will-power to grasp control over the environment and achieve adulthood, as Dark Souls achieved the assertive success that was lacking in Demon's Souls.

Demon's Souls itself was released in 2009, the year of the 5th Arcana: Hierophant in the 2nd tarot journey. The Hierophant represents the beginning of the Fool's education in an organized belief system - identifying with a group and belonging. One might be tempted to think that this was the beginning of a belief in "souls", but that is too narrow focused - a "soul" is "thought" and exists whether it is believed in or not. Rather the contemplation of the nature of thought and personhood is more suited to the first Fool embodying Arcana #9: The Hermit, who looks inwards to search for answers. The Hierophant I find to be better expressed in the gaudy religious figure enthroned in the Tower of Latria - the old monk who brings belief in madness and eldritch entities, and is the first of the King in Yellow references scattered throughout the souls games and Elden Ring. Perhaps the Hermit-fool looks inside and sees a developing cuckoo of the Hierophant-fool, but has not the power to do anything to separate the conflicting parts. There is indeed an acknowledgement of two entities to consider as it is said in the opening titles: "On the first day, man was granted a soul, and with it, clarity. On the second day, upon Earth was planted an irrevocable poison; a soul-devouring Demon." So, there is the man and there is the demon.

Compare Demon's Souls Old Monk with the gilded tree growing behind his head with Shadow of the Erdtree's Midra who has the roots of a tree growing through his skull.

And while it seems unlikely that game development cycles could be contorted to some greater overarching narrative, consider this: how often have FromSoft games shipped "unfinished"? They always seem to set their goals a bit too high, resulting in outcomes like the abandoned 6th archstone in Demon's Souls or the under populated Izalith area in Dark Souls. They cut so much content that it ends up incorporated into massive DLC's like Bloodborne's Old Hunters DLC or Elden Ring's Shadow of the Erdtree. Rather than delay games by a year or so until they can ship "complete", they have seemed more concerned with releasing as close to schedule as possible. The amount of content left unfinished simply does not matter if the overarching narrative was never intended to be completed in a single game. The game developer can't control for dataminers who will scrutinize any unused strings of code and invent in their heads a more "complete" game that could have been, regardless of whether these unused pieces were simply cut in the editing process because they didn't suit the artistic intent.

On the other hand, Elden Ring was delayed by a year from the initially planned release in 2021 and the result: not a single FromSoft game released in the year matching Arcana #21: The World. The final twist of the Fool's Journey was that it simply failed to manifest a world on time. My guess is that a substantial amount of cut content remained unused because it would have been appropriate for a 21-year story concluding in early 2021 (with 2 DLC to follow) and simply didn't suit the restructured 22-year story that released in early 2022. But there has been one last entry for the cuckoo-fool's journey. Shadow of the Erdtree released in 2024, and corresponds to Arcana #20: Judgement.

And notice that again it is specifically Ansbach - a follower of Mohg, Lord of Blood - who most closely applies to Miquella the tarot phrasing associated with the concept of "Judgement" in the Fool's Journey:

"Pure and radiant, he wields love to shrive clean the hearts of men. There is nothing more terrifying"

Ansbach is not wrong - he should be terrified. From the perspective of Miquella-as-god, the Lord of Blood and his followers are the false ego that needs to be overcome in order to manifest as a pure and radiant being. There is no negotiating - it is simply what must be done before moving on to the next step of creating a new World according to Arcana #21.

A person could get forever trapped in the circular logic loop of which happened first: Mohg taking Miquella to bathe in blood or Miquella using Mohg for his goal of becoming a god. Because from a mythic story-telling perspective it is a loop - Miquella is the Golden Dawn and Mohg is the twilight before nightfall - they are two sides of the same spinning coin. Mohg looks at the ruins of his life and is enchanted by the idea of living on through the life of the younger generation, continuing the pureblood dynasty at all costs even to inflicting pain on everyone involved. Miquella is the child who is traumatized by the abuses of the older generation and determined to regain bodily autonomy, yet blinded to the way that the trauma has corrupted his own dream for the future. In time, Miquella would inevitably become a new version of Mohg, unless some outside force intervenes to break the cycle.

The Fool's Journey in Fantasy Novels

As for George RR Martin as writer, I can't say that I know much about what he thinks of tarot. I don't think that the decision was in his hands - as an astute reader may have noticed, I am making a claim that FromSoft has been sculpting their library of games since before even Miyazaki was hired. But I suspect that GRRM is aware of the Fool's Journey, as he has expressed praise for Robin Hobb's Farseer and Tawney Man trilogies (and with an unsourced quote attached to Liveship Traders as well).

“Fantasy as it ought to be written…Robin Hobb's books are diamonds in a sea of zircons” - GRRM book quote for the Farseer trilogy

The influence of the whole Realm of the Elderlings series by Robin Hobb upon Elden Ring should be considered for a lot of reasons. Not only is "The Fool" one of the named characters and a prophet with meta-knowledge of what will happen in the story, but also the series has the following uncannily specific parallels with Elden Ring:

- A metaphor around smithing and Forging, paired with an alchemical metaphor about attaining the status of a Golden Lord before fading/dulling/tarnishing

- A quest to a snowy mountain that unexpectedly ends in being teleported to an ancient city and a place full of stone dragons

- Creatures that made giant cocoons for themselves and slept within them in a secluded city, only to have their cocoons cut open and soft infant forms removed before they could finish metamorphosis. Also the sleeping creatures can project themselves into dreams and there is a major plot point around soaking the cocoons with blood being a form of mental trauma.

- An elaborate homage to Moby Dick that works in themes of the generational cycle of violence (even featuring characters of similar name with Igon and Igrot).

- Protagonist has a close spiritual connection with wolf (counting for Elden Ring that the Raging Wolf set is often used to represent the player in promos).

- Time is a wheel - from Demon's Souls to Elden Ring these games literally embody one of the philosophies outlined in Realm of the Elderlings. The player can try again and again infinitely as long as it takes to correct all mistakes and play perfectly:

"All of history, a great wheel, turning inexorably. Just as seasons come and go, just as the moon moves endlessly through her cycle, so does time. The same wars are fought, the same plagues descend, the same folk, good or evil, rise to power. Humanity is trapped on that wheel, doomed endlessly to repeat the mistakes we have we have already made. Unless someone comes to change it. ...And when an entire cycle passes in which every prophet succeeds, time itself will finally stop. ...For time is the great enslaver of us all. Time that ages us, time that limits us. Think how often you have wished to have more time for something, or wished you could go back a day and do something differently. When humanity is freed of time, old wrongs can be corrected before they are done."

This is where I wanted to point again at Havel the Rock from Dark Souls. In RotE's Liveship Traders trilogy a precious material is discovered in an ancient city in a room called the "Crowned Rooster Chamber" for the sigil carved into the walls. This material is a silvery wood that is as hard as stone and is sawn into boards used to construct the titular "Liveships". Despite being marketed as such by the secretive traders, the "wood" is not wood. It is the cocoon of an infant dragon - a sea serpent - spun from sand and toxic/acidic saliva containing the memories of mature dragons. Harvesting this wood kills the squishy scaleless dragon inside the cocoon, who would normally absorb the material in the process of gaining adult form.

In-universe the source of the Liveship "wood" is a well kept secret for generations where outsiders have no idea that it is made from dragons. Here in the real world there is a certain amount of symmetry in imagining that a book series that Miyazaki or anyone from FromSoft has never even mentioned in interviews could be the inspiration for some of the best kept secrets in the entire library of FromSoftware games.

Final Notes

There are enough pieces of circumstantial evidence that I am confident that the Fool’s Journey is a central concept in Elden Ring. In a way it is the “Golden Order” - the process of taking an insignificant fool and forging them into a higher state of being through a spiritual journey heavily associated with hermeticism/alchemy. From one tarot perspective, Elden Ring is about the life and death and resurrection of Armored Core. Or from another perspective, Elden Ring is about the rise and fall of Dark Souls from the buried groundwork laid by King's Field and Shadow Tower.

However, at the same time the outcomes of the game also point out the pitfalls of the Fool’s Journey. Diallos follows the spirit of the journey...but what he prophesied for himself was a tale told in blood, and blood was how he ended. Diallos couldn't bring himself to confront and overcome the Knight of Blood - represented by his own brother - and dies in obscurity protecting crackpots.

The God form of Miquella in the DLC follows the aesthetic of the journey (banishing doubts and becoming an angelic “good” being, on a path to literally restart the cycle as the base Fool), but an outside observer cannot accept Miquella forcing his charm on others - even if the ultimate goal is to achieve peace - and most likely rejects him. The will of the God Miquella is detached from the reality of the game, where the Tarnished are avatars of real world people who are clueless as to what they are "supposed to do" to play their role in following the tarot fate. The Fool's Journey is just a story framework with nothing inherently intuitive about it - if all of the pop culture keywords are stripped away it becomes unrecognizable unless a person goes digging for it. So instead the player opposes Miquella on the principle that he is an obstacle who can be fought and is placed in the way of seeing end game content.

These two are examples of fools who looked inwards and backwards and reached conclusions that were self-destructive. They reached greater understanding of themselves, but at the same time became detached from the outside world (for Miquella - literally retreating into the dream realm of the cocoon) and have no idea how to apply that understanding towards constructively improving the civilizations around them.

Seluvis tries to make a fool of Ranni and cannot. Ranni’s quest is one that involves actively exploring the most inaccessible and secret places in the game. It's an externalized journey compared to an internalized one like Miquella who retreats into the surreal dreamscape of the cocoon. Ranni is strongly aligned with the intelligence sphere of influence compared to Miquella being aligned with faith. The entire Liurnia area is structured in ways to help a player notice that story is being told literally through landscape elements (in short: try mushroom vision, or climbing up churches). Escape from the wheel of the Fool's Journey is achieved from an active and ongoing effort to understand the systems that intertwine and form the ecosystem of a whole world.

[coffeegnomee]

just thinking about it, is pie chart just banned or did they literally remove the pie chart from the debug menu?

Because I vaguely remember Zam implying it was gone gone, but that might've just been because he was on the tiny keyboard and literally couldn't open it up

[waxsuyaaa]

this girl,, this poor girl she wants to play music but there are blender noises in the background

whos doing that turn off the blendrr

[fleshadept]

i’ve been figuring out so many complicated actions in excel for my finances spreadsheet i might look into getting a certification

[cornflakesinchocolatemilk]

[roboobin]

you like Batman?

correct

[courfee]

june 2025 version made by yours truly because i was very curious

Simplifying some of these categories in the same way:

about 24% of the fanworks on AO3 had ≤ 1000 words at that time (note that this includes most of the textless fanworks like fanart and podfics). short fics have relatively become a lot less common  

about 48% had between 1K and 5K words - still the most popular word count span, barely changed compared to 2014

28% of the fanworks have more than 5K words! that is a massive increase!

in fact the increase so large enough that the >50k category can be analysed further: of those 3% works over 50k words, 2% are 50k-100k, 1% 100k-200k and less than 1% above that

Fandom stats: word count on AO3

significanceofmoths asked me if I’d analyzed how fandoms differ in terms of their word counts.  I haven’t broken it down by fandom, but I thought I’d do a quick summary of what I know about word count on AO3 in general (at least as of about a year ago).

When I did my initial survey of AO3 in May 2013, here’s what I found about word count:

Simplifying some of these categories:

about 36% of the fanworks on AO3 had <= 1000 words at that time (note that this includes most of the textless fanworks like fanart and podfics).  

about 45% had between 1K and 5K words

only about 18% of the fanworks have more than 5K words.

I also looked at single-chapter vs. multi-chapter fics around the same time. Please note: there are way more single chapter fanworks than multi-chapter – somewhere around 85% of fanworks are one chapter.  Comparing word count for these two different categories:

While it’s most common for single-chapter fic to have fewer than 1000 words, it’s actually most common for multi-chapter fic to have over 10K words.

That second analysis also shows that the longer the work, the more hits it tends to get.  But I haven’t yet dug deeper into this relationship (other than showing that length isn’t the only factor that matters – for instance, rating also affects hits and kudos).

[MORE FANDOM STATS]

[big-tiddy-goth-ghoulfriend]

I think it was technically yesterday and I don't draw but I wanted to contribute to Bad Comic Day

[paulandjohn]

While Sir Paul, 82, shows no sign of slowing down, with plans to finish a new album next year, mystery shrouds the It's A Wonderful Life stage musical he announced he was working on back in 2019.

It was set to be a glorious collaboration between him and the late theatre impresario Bill Kenwright, who had acquired the rights to Frank Capra's 1946 classic Christmas film.

Yet I hear plans for the musical adaptation have been halted after the two Liverpudlian life long friends apparently had creative differences over the production before Kenwright's death in October last year, aged 78.

A source tells me: 'Bill was incredibly upset about the outcome of a business meeting between him and Paul because they couldn't agree on how the stage version of It's A Wonderful Life would progress.

'Paul wanted the production to be focused on music while Bill wanted more action and speaking on stage. It's a shame two great legends couldn't agree on the outcome of the show that they both decided to invest in.

'The project won't see the light of the day.'

Kenwright had been complimentary about working with McCartney on the project and said it was 'a dream realised'. Meanwhile, Sir Paul admitted of the production: 'Musicals are difficult things to put together.'

But a source close to Macca says the proposed stage play may still come to fruition. Representatives for Paul McCartney and Bill Kenwright declined to comment.

[need-a-name-101]

A thing about StoryGraph that I recently discovered is that if you give a book a certain review, there is a chance it will not show up in you graph for that particular review. Let me explain,

In the above photo if a book is let’s say for example relaxing and you mark it as such, but overall not a lot of other readers ticked the relaxing box then it won’t show up in your pic chart as relaxing.

[misserabella]

hey! i love your spencer reid fanfics!

i wanted to request a spencer x reader fanfic where they are experimenting with each other sort of and spencer times how much he can make reader come or how long it would take him to make her squirt because he’s not just a curious genius but also down bad

ty and if you’re uncomfortable with that just ignore! 💜

let’s put it to the test

experienced! spencer x inexperienced! reader

okay but what if spencer is the once with experience this time and reader is the one inexperienced?!?

cw; +18 content, minors dni!!, spencer being a supportive attentive perfect boyfriend, taking it slow, make out sessions, fluff!!!, thigh riding, dry humping, fingering, mutual masturbation, spencer teaching r how to touch him, oral sex (r receiving), multiple orgasms, lingerie, spencer going feral, hard sex (reader asks for it), nipple sucking, dirty talking, breeding kink, piv unprotected, cream pie!!, squirting…

experienced! spencer who reassures you that there’s nothing wrong for not being experienced sexually with kisses and cuddles, telling you that he’s okay with waiting until you’re ready to take that step with him, or even if you never wanted to, he’d still be okay with it ‘cause he loves you.

experienced! spencer who starts off slow with you, pecks, kisses, and make out sessions in that order, until you seek more and start grinding yourself down onto his lap. he doesn’t touch you. not yet. he kisses you, and encourages you to ride his thigh. to make yourself feel good. and you do. hesitantly at first, but then you get the hang of it and it feels so good… coming against his slacks becomes your first and comfort way of receiving pleasure.

experienced! spencer who doesn’t pressure you, lets you explore, let’s you touch him, pleasure him if that’s what you want. he teaches you how to touch him, how to turn his mind blank. and when you’re completely and utterly soaked due to his beautiful moans, you beg for him to touch you. he asks if you’re sure, makes you promise that you’ll stop him if you don’t like it or change your mind. that night you two masturbate each other. his fingers become your second and favorite way of receiving pleasure.

experienced! spencer who, weeks later, notices that you’re keeping something to yourself. he doesn’t ask, he doesn’t want to make you say it before you’re comfortable to talk about it. one night, while he fingers and kisses you, you whisper that you want his tongue. and he catches on what you want the first time. but he wants you to be specific, ‘cause god, spencer has been wanting to taste you since the first time he saw you. so you ask him if “could you eat me out, please spencer?” and who is he to say no? his mouth is heaven. and moves up on the chart, taking the number 1.

experienced! spencer who becomes obsessed —just like you— with tasting your pretty pussy. getting into silly little missions like ‘i’m gonna put a countdown of thirty minutes and see how much i can make you cum before the alarm goes off’, what at first makes you roll your eyes, but when he’s already pulled 3 orgasms out of you by the fifteen minute mark, you’re rolling them for a completely other reason. yeah, you love this little challenges of his.

experienced! spencer who comes one day back from a hard case to find you kneeling on his plushy bed, bare except for the prettiest lavender lacy lingerie set you had bought solely for him, telling him that you’re ready. that you want him to fuck you. and he doesn’t need much convincing.

experienced! spencer who almost cums when his tip slides in, ‘cause even if he had prepped you, and made you come a couple of times to slick and relax you, you’re still soooo tight.

experienced! spencer who takes it slow, who circles your clit, who sucks at your nipples to help you get used to the pressure, to the feeling of his big cock splitting you apart.

experienced! spencer who groans when you beg him to fuck you hard. when you tell him that you can take it. that you want him to break you.

experienced! spencer who goes feral and gives you exactly what you want. and well, if you thought his mouth was heaven, his cock is certainly something above that.

“is this what my pretty girl wanted? wanted me to split this pussy open, hm? look at you, baby, you’re drooling. taking my cock like the perfect little cock sleeve that you are. fuuck yeah, squeeze me like that, princess. good fucking girl.”

experienced! spencer who praises you. who degrades you. who chokes you. who marks you…

experienced! spencer who has you coming like crazy, having fucked you in every single position, reaching so deep inside you he’s hitting your cervix as he bends you in the most perfect mating press.

“how many orgasms do you think it’ll take me to make you squirt, hm? let’s find out shall we?”

experienced! spencer who indeed makes you squirt, so much you end up soaking the mattress. making a mess of his sheets and thighs. you’re a pure fuck toy as he fucks out of you spurt after spurt, buckets of liquid out of your swollen and abused cunt.

experienced! spencer who groans as if he were in pain when you plead for him to cum inside you, to fill you up.

experienced! spencer who does it as in command, coming so hard he’s seeing stars.

experienced! spencer who then spends the rest of the week making sure to fuck you full of his cum in every room on his apartment, on every surface.

@cafekitsune ‘s dividers!

@ordinarywaifusstuff ty for your support and this ask! hope you like how it came out!💋

[sv3t1ana]

SYNOPSIS ᯓ Choso Kamo is a waste of your time. A temp intern with no real skills, constantly fumbling through tasks he barely understood. You've tried to get rid of him, but the agency won't take him back until his contract is done. You've been treating him like the extra he is, deciding that if he's going to waste your time, he might as well make himself useful.

PAIRING ᯓ Intern! Choso x Executive fem! Reader

WARNINGS ᯓ dubcon, office AU, degrading (really not that bad tho), he calls reader "ma'am," reader is mean to him (lmao sorry), reader is a workaholic, choso sucks at his job, power dynamics, choso has tattoos, obedience, use of "good boy," oral (m and f receiving), size kink, fingering (f receiving), punishment, unprotected p i v sex, begging, sub choso x dom reader?

WORD COUNT ᯓ 3.6k

SERIES ᯓ GOJO ⋮ GETO ⋮ CHOSO

Choso Kamo.

A lowly intern hired into this company, not based on merit, just placed here through a temp agency you signed a contract with a few years ago.

It’s gotten to the point where you tried to get rid of him, calling the agency yourself. That’s right, you took precious time out of your day to get rid of him.

“So, you’re telling me he still has a month here?”

“If you don’t have reasonable grounds to fire him, then yes, he will stay for an additional four weeks.”

You sighed, throwing your head back and tossing your feet up on your mahogany desk.

This intern was going to be the death of you. Seriously. Last week you tasked him with some very simple data visualizations, and he returned a pie chart.

A pie chart.

A single pie chart.

“Kamo, what the fuck is this?”

Choso was completely serious, sitting in the chair across from your desk in your private, sleek office. “It’s a visualization of last quarter’s trends.”

You glanced down, almost jaw-slack in disbelief. There was a big rainbow pie chart, indicating… last quarter’s trends? “Kamo,” you said, voice flat, “this is an abomination.”

You didn’t hold back tearing it apart in front of his face, tossing it on the ground at his feet while you silently pointed toward the door, motioning him to leave. It was sad actually, just a small part of your heart aching at the clueless loser here only because he could pass a drug test. It’s clear he tried, but somehow the dataset became absolutely vile, even after you provided a cleaned one.

It was so fucked up, seriously. As an executive you had meetings on meetings, you barely had time to eat let alone find ways to get Choso fired. Most of your days began and ended sipping caffeine, you even worked on the weekends. And to have this inferior being who can barely copy a few papers ruin your day was just the icing on the cake.

He’d already been here for a month, a temporary contract-to-hire position, (he clearly wasn’t getting hired) and you’ve just been having him run your errands for you.

“I need you to get this dry cleaned.”

“Go to my car and bring me the box of files.”

“Put my mug in the kitchen.”

He was almost like a pet, barely good enough to be named slave as you just ran out the rest of his time here with trivial duties.

It was a hell of a Thursday afternoon, pausing your busy schedule and setting your Microsoft Teams to offline as you waited in your office, blinds closed while you rested your head in your hand, slowly drifting off to sleep until-

BANG!

“Ma’am, I have your lunch,” Choso stood at the doorway dripping wet as he panted out of breath.

The sound of the door slamming open jolted you awake, your heart lurching against your ribs. He stood there, shoulders rising and falling, his shirt soaked through, clinging to his skin like it was painted on.

You blinked, trying to focus on something, anything other than the way his pecs pressed against the damp fabric, the slow drip of rainwater from his hair rolling down the side of his neck.

Absolutely not.

You forced your gaze to his face. He wasn’t even looking at you, too busy trying to catch his breath, lips parted, chest rising and falling with every inhale.

“...Apologies for the late time,” he finally muttered, stepping forward to set the bag of food on your desk.

You stared at him, but truly it wasn’t purposeful, your brain was just lagging, refusing to process anything except fuck, he’s actually kind of-

No. Not happening.

You cleared your throat, reaching for the food like it was going to save you. “You look disgusting,” you muttered, barely glancing up.

He huffed a small laugh, shaking out his sleeves in your pristine office before stepping away, rainwater leaving faint specks on your office floor. He didn’t say anything else. Just turned and walked out.

And yet, you didn’t stop staring until the door clicked shut behind him.

God, at least he’s pretty, too bad he’s useless.

That weekend you didn’t think about him once. Really, you didn’t.

But still, you were restless.

That weekend, you caught yourself checking your phone too often, feeling agitated over things that had nothing to do with work. You opened your email just to have something to do, only to find a message from Choso.

RE: Revised Visualizations

Attached are the updated charts per your feedback. Let me know if further revisions are needed.

Oh.

You clicked the attachment, expecting the same disaster as before.

And, well, of course it still sucked, but it was less awful. He was improving.

You set your laptop aside and rubbed your temples. Maybe you just needed a distraction.

It has been years since you last had one.

Work truly consumed the entirety of you, it was the only thing on your mind. Your laundry constantly piled up, dishes overflowing your sink often because you worked too damn hard.

It’s been so long since you had a boyfriend, not that you were keeping track but it’s been about 2 years, 6 months, and 24 days since you broke up with him. He was too bland, too safe, not exciting enough for you, but at least he was a distraction.

Hm, maybe you found yourself bored again, wanting to feel the adrenaline course your veins with a new love interest, but you just sat alone in your office the following week, sighing as you poked your food with a fork. You had no time for a relationship.

That next week you found your office a complete mess, last week the stakeholders visited, and you had endless meetings, constantly having to prove yourself in your position as a woman to these disgusting old men who only wanted money, it was draining.

Piles of paper scattered your floor, you had no idea which filing cabinet they belonged to. Your desk a mess, too, crowded with too many coffee mugs and random office supplies, where did this shit even originate from?

So, you invited Choso to clean your mess for you. Tasking him to organize the scattered papers covering almost your entire office floor. You watched as he sat on his knees, sleeves rolled up revealing toned forearms littered with tattoos.

“All of these papers are titled about the first quarter’s finances.”

Choso’s voice was steady as he handed you the file, but you barely registered the words.

Because his hands.

Shit.

You didn’t mean to look, didn’t mean to notice how thick and long his fingers were, the way the veins ran up his arms, disappearing beneath the rolled-up sleeves.

You swallowed. Taking the file a little too quickly, clicking your pen aggressively.

He sat on his knees, sorting through the mess you’d left him with, hair falling loose from his buns. Sharp jawline. The slow bob of his throat when he swallowed. The slight furrow in his brow as he focused.

You had to mentally will yourself to tear your eyes away, flipping through the file like your life depended on it. “You probably gave me the wrong one,” you muttered.

He exhaled, running a hand through his bangs and pushing them back for just a second, just long enough for you to notice his dark eyes, furrowed brows, the light sheen of sweat clinging to his temples.

You clicked your pen again, harder this time.

This was just nothing, nothing at all.

You were beginning to get frustrated, really frustrated. Because what the hell is wrong with you?

It’s not just some passing thought or fleeting distraction that can be shaken off with a splash of cold water. It lingered in your mind, the parts of your mind that should be occupied with financial reports and quarterly projections. Every time you saw him, some unwelcome thought wormed its way into your brain, like the way he had a ridiculous devotion to completing the most mundane tasks you assigned him. It’s infuriating, really, because how could you, as an executive, someone that clawed your way to the top of this company, be distracted by the likes of him?

Choso Kamo. A temp. A lowly intern who struggled inputting a SUM function in Excel. There’s about three million YouTube tutorials for that, by the way. This was supposed to be his last week here.

It’s not like you’ve never dealt with useless men before, your job is filled with them. Old, crusty men in ill-fitted suits who pretended you weren’t their intellectual superior. But at least they didn’t invade your mind like this.

And worse? He was so obedient, like some helpless thing always awaiting your instructions. He always called you ma’am, whether out of genuine respect or blind adherence to authority, you didn’t know.

Maybe that’s why, as you sat in your office, hands clenched into fists against your desk, you decide.

If you’re going to suffer through the remaining time of his employment, you might as well make it worth your while.

You inhaled sharply through your nose, rolling your shoulders as you stood from your chair, exiting your office.

“Kamo, my office. Now.”

No explanation. No context. Just a simple demand.

You waited, hearing a hesitant knock at first, light and unsure. It’s the same way he approaches everything, carefully like he’s afraid of stepping out of line.

“Come in.”

Choso enters, standing awkwardly just past the doorway, his hands clasped in front of him. “You wanted to see me, ma’am?”

“Close the door.”

He does, albeit clumsily, his fingers fumbling with the handle for a second too long. You watch in silence as he turns his back toward you, shoulders stiff and posture straight as if he’s bracing for reprimand.

Instead of speaking immediately you stood again, walking toward your large office windows that overlooks the rest of the department floor. The blinds are drawn halfway up, letting just enough visibility in for others to see. That won’t do.

One by one, you lowered them, the only noise in the room being the mechanical whir of the blinds. Choso shifted nervously on his feet.

“You’ve been here for almost two months now,” you mused, tone even as you turn to face him fully. “Longer than I would’ve liked, but still.”

Choso nods, saying nothing.

You step closer, crossing the room slow and deliberately. “And despite your many, many failures, you’ve somehow managed to be useful in one way.”

His brows knit together slightly, but he remains silent, waiting.

You tilted your head as if to observe him. His hands are still clasped in front of him, his stance rigid, like he didn’t know whether to be nervous or grateful.

Good.

That mean’s he’ll listen.

You extend a hand, fingers wrapping around the nape of his neck as your thumb traced his jawline.

“You want to be useful, don’t you, Kamo?” Your voice was smooth, measured.

He nods immediately. “Yes, ma’am.”

You dropped your head slightly, “you have…” you sigh, feigning disappointment, “such a bad habit of wasting my time.”

He flinches, subtly, but you saw it.

“I-I’m sorry, ma’am, I-”

You tut, cutting him off. “But I’ve decided something.”

He falls silent again, waiting.

“If you insist on wasting my time, then I’ll run out the rest of yours however I see fit.”

“I don’t understand…” his voice was quiet, more careful.

You laughed softly, reaching behind him to flick the lock on the door. The click is soft but heavy, something final, “you don’t need to.”

You see the way his breath catches. How his fingers tighten into his palm like he’s resisting the urge to fidget. How his pupils dilate just slightly as you eye his figure up and down, like you were a predator sizing up prey.

And he is prey, nervous, uncertain, and pliant.

“You always listen so well,” you muse, talking slow steps to sit back at your desk. “Always so eager to do exactly as I say.”

“Yes, ma’am,” he breathes.

You smile.

“Then be a good boy, Kamo.”

He shudders.

You motion him to your side of the desk. “Take a seat.”

He did so nervously, not expecting you to snap at the ground petitioning him to kneel before you.

“This is your first task, make me cum in 3 minutes or you’re fired.”

Though, this was an objectively easy task for him, you were aroused last night even thinking about it, no idea the state of your cunt currently.

You watched as he sat on his knees before you, inching yourself closer to the edge of your chair while you spread your legs, showcasing your naked center under your skirt.

You could almost hear the thumps of his heart, “aww, don’t be shy, Kamo. You’re running out the clock!” You say playfully.

He nervously looked around him, swallowing hard before licking his lips. His hands traveled up your legs, gripping your thighs to spread you even wider.

You leaned back in your chair, and it was almost as if he attacked you with his tongue like his job depended on it. Because, well, it did.

Inhaling through his nose, he used the flat of his tongue to draw a long, slow stroke along your folds while you exhaled loudly. Quickly, he lapped at you, dipping in your entrance with his tongue before he drew circles with the tip of it on your clit.

You couldn’t help but grip his hair as he worked you, inserting two dept fingers and curling them ever-so-slightly while the lower half of his face was buried in you. And you pulled him closer, tighter to you as you felt him begin to sweat profusely.

It was so cute, really, was he doing this because he wanted to? Or that he didn’t want to lose his job? Surely, he knew he wouldn’t get hired after his contract ran out, right?

“Mmm, one minute, Kamo,” you were breathless, having gone so long without the touch of the opposite sex, either that or Choso finally found something he was good at.

You reached your climax fast, crying out when he quickened his pace, your slick slit gushing out in the palm of his hand while he fucked you through it, gripping the back of his head and practically suffocating him between your thighs.

You gripped his forehead and forcefully shoved him out of you on the edge of overstimulation, leaving him on his hands and knees catching his breath.

You looked over at the digital clock on your computer, “congratulations, you passed!”

He looked up at you, a glossy film of sweat covering his face, or rather, a mix of his sweat and your arousal.

“Stand up.”

He obeyed.

“Look at you,” you tilted your head, eyeing the huge bulge that tented his slacks. “You’re all excited just from eating me out, hm?”

You groped his clothed cock, feeling how big it was under your hands. “Are you ready for your second task?”

You didn’t even give him time to respond before you undid his belt, unzipping his pants and pulling them down boxers included, his thick length popping out.

“If you cum, I’ll punish you.” You began stroking his length, using two hands to jerk him as you spit, using your thumb to spread his pre around his sensitive, engorged tip.

He nearly buckled at the knees, breath quickening and sweat dripping from his temples as he held back. “F-fuck…”

And you gave him no mercy, wetting your lips and pressing light kisses at his tip, squeezing his base with one hand as the other massaged his balls.

He was hunched over, using your desk as purchase while he watched from above as you took only the tip in your warm mouth, spitting on it to use as more lubricant for your hand that tugged him.

You let him out of your mouth slowly, “you look so pathetic,” you mused. “All fucked-out when all I did was lick your tip.”

You watched as his mouth dropped open, using both hands squeezing him tight, jerking him and letting his tip rest on your tongue.

It didn’t take long for him to cum, body convulsing as he struggled to maintain balance, painting your face and tongue with white, ruining your makeup and your tastebuds.

You sat still as he came down from his high, still fully erect in your hands. “You failed.” You said flatly.

He looked at you almost in shock, still out of breath.

“You can leave now,” you started rummaging through your drawers for tissues, wipes, anything to get rid of the horrible artwork left on your face. “Oh, see me in my office first thing tomorrow, for your punishment, of course.”

He didn’t say a word as he took a tissue from you, cleaning himself up before stuffing his still-hard length back in his pants and returning to his desk for the rest of the day.

It was the next day when he entered your office, you noticed the slight bulge in his pants already.

Oh, how faithful he was for you.

You sat on your desk, legs crossed and a bored expression across your face.

Choso averted his gaze, “ma’am, I’m ready to face my punishment.”

It looked like you just fired the man, as if he had a wife and kids at home and you just fired him before the Christmas bonus came in.

“Today you’re going to fuck me.” You said it so blatantly, just putting it out there in the air.

It simmered for a minute, Choso nervously looking around the room to see the blinds barely open. If someone wanted to peak in and see, they would.

“I-I don’t have any condoms,” he checked his pockets like a maniac.

“Just do your best,” you waved your hand, beckoning him to come closer.

His hands traveled your figure, squeezing your breasts over your tight top, pressing kisses to your neck when you throw your head back, his hands landing on your hips.

“Tell me how you want it,” he said, breathless and polite, yet seemingly more eager than yesterday.

All you did was spread your legs, revealing your bare center to him once again.

He began deftly unzipping his pants, bringing his solid length out at the sight of your glistening cunt. He put a hand on your lower back, face too close to yours as he leaned you back, positioning his tip at your entrance.

That’s when you locked your ankles behind his back, immediately stuffing yourself with him. You tried not to cry out too loudly, not even all of him could fit. It sure has been a couple years since you last hooked up with someone, the effects of it having a toll on your body.

You were so tight around him, walls struggling to even pulse around his length, struggling to adjust to his size.

He grunted as he began thrusting, brows pinched tightly as you seemed to clench around him, pulling him back in every time he tried to pull out.

Your pussy dripping for him, the sounds of it squishing, squelching in attempt to take him all as a slow, languid pace began.

All you did in return was grip his shoulders, squeeze your legs tighter to keep him close.

“You feel… so good,” he breathed out between thrusts, “fuck, I-I’m at my limit,” his voice was breaking, stuttering as he was engulfed in your warmth, squeezing him so tight that he was about to cum not even five minutes in.

“Mmh, Kamo, if you… get me pregnant,” you said between breaths. “You’re fired,” voice frail as he only fucked deeper and deeper with each rut of his hips, the only sounds in the room being breathless gasps for air and slapping skin, desk shaking beneath you.

You just squeezed your legs tighter, not giving him the chance to pull out as his hands fumbled in desperate attempt to unlock your legs behind him.

“G-god, I’m cumming,” he grunted, voice low as his grip on your waist sure to leave a few marks by tomorrow.

You felt yourself being filled up with him, so hot and sticky inside in the entrance to your womb, it brought on your own climax.

You lay almost lifeless on your desk as his body collapsed on yours, a pitiful look on his face as he stood fully, about to take himself out your entrance when you grabbed him by the collar of his shirt, bringing your lips to his in a heated kiss.

You two sharing whiny moans as he kissed back with the same passion, the world around you stopping as you tasted his morning coffee, humming into each others mouths.

He broke away only to apologize, plead for one more try. “Please,” he was still out of breath, voice hoarse. “I’ll be good next time, I swear.”

You stifled a laugh at the sight of him looking so unprofessional, hair a mess and clothes all loose, your hand coming up to hide the smirk tugging at your lips. The letter sat on your desk, taunting him. You could practically feel the anxiety radiating off him as he stared at it.

Without saying a word, you motioned toward the paper. The offer a permanent position as your personal assistant.

“Do you want it?” you asked, your voice low but laced with amusement.

He just smiled like a kid in a candy aisle, smashing his lips to yours.