#and had a very pointless spell of anxiety about it

[fraddit]

Just ordered flower delivery for my grandmother's upcoming 90th birthday, and despite the fact that I literally used to be a fucking florist, I forgot how fucking easy and great it is as a gift concept. Truly top tier.

[excessive-vampires]

Dealing With Demons Chapter 15: Raising the Stakes Part 2: Cee

Masterlist with CW

Taglist: @demyxdancer @softvampirewhump @d-cs

A little ways away from me, Riley called a bunch of different very official people and told them that we needed all the help we could get. 

Chewing my bottom lip, I wondered if Cliff had been trying to kill me. He knew that Riley’s team had been the ones to drag me out of his weird evil ritual basement, so my being at the Bureau base was a safe assumption. Hell, I had been there just a few minutes before the explosion. Cliff had said that my existence would make whatever he was trying to do easier, but that didn’t mean that he couldn't perform the ritual with me dead. Maybe he had decided the risk outweighed the reward. 

I wasn’t scared of dying, not since meeting Avi, though I definitely wanted to stay alive for as long as possible. But I was afraid of Avi being destroyed somehow. If I died then we lost my body and the life we had worked so hard to build which would be a real fucking bummer, but if they died, though, I would lose them. I couldn’t lose them. I couldn’t do this on my own, it was why I had summoned them in the first place. 

I felt panic starting to rise in me and made myself take deep breaths. The last thing I needed was to spiral into an anxiety attack. Especially while I was alone. 

Avi wasn’t going to die. That’s what I told myself over and over again. Riley and a team of government agents, and me if I could help it, were going to storm into Cliff’s house and save them and Dezi and Clara and Maximilian and Andrew Bell and Ceasar and everyone else. Everything was going to turn out fine. It had to. I sold my soul and my body for a chance at happiness and like hell was I going to let one power-hungry man take it away from me. 

Riley walked over to where I was standing. 

“A joint task force will be ready in twenty-four hours.”

“A day? We don’t have a day!” 

“You don’t know that.”

“Oh right, because Cliff would definitely give the organization trying to stop him time to recover before enacting his evil plan.” 

“Well, it’s not like I can do anything to make them get their shit together faster.” 

“Then we’ll have to do this ourselves.” 

“How the hell are we supposed to do anything to stop Mason? Neither of us can even cast spells!” 

“What about your amulet? You can use artifacts!”

“This amulet was enchanted for me by my grandmother, even if we could get to the Bureau’s vault somehow any other artifact would be useless in my hands!” 

“Whatever! You’ve been studying magic your entire life, and my body has been used as a conduit for magic for five years, we can figure something out!” 

“No! This is crazy!” They started to turn to walk away. 

“Riley! For once in your life, step off the sidelines!” I threw my hands up in the air in anger and for emphasis. 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Riley turned back to face me. 

“You’re passive! You just let things happen to you without taking an active role in your life!”

“I’m passive? You sold your agency to a demon because you were too lazy to fix whatever was wrong with your life the right way!” 

Anger flared up within me like the start of an inferno. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.” 

“Oh really, when’s the last time you actually tried to repair any of the relationships in your life instead of running away?”

“When’s the last time you talked to your parents?” 

Riley took a step back. “That’s not fair.”

I took a step forward. “Isn’t it?” 

“You’re telling me there was no one in your old life who truly cared for and understood you?” 

Bev’s face filled my mind, I felt nauseous and turned away from Riley. “This is pointless.”

“No, get back here.” They grabbed me by the shoulder and turned me around. “So there was someone important to you that you just left? Did you even say goodbye? At least I’ve never been that cold.”

I punched them in the gut, and when they bent down in pain I punched them again in the face. 

I felt the small bones in my hand crunch as sharp pain lanced up through my arm. I didn’t scream though, I made no sound other than a harsh hiss. As far as I could remember I’d only ever screamed in pain once, as a teenager, after tripping and landing on my elbow when I fell. And that was met with a scolding about how the neighbors would call the police if I didn’t quiet down. Since then all the screams inside me always got stuck behind the fear of being innapropriate. It hurt just as much as the broken bones to know I still had that fear. 

“Shit, what is your problem?” Riley straightened up, rubbing their face. 

“Don’t you dare think you know what I’ve been through!” The tightness in my throat almost strangled my voice.

“Okay, I’m sorry.” They seemed surprised to see me close to tears. Then they saw me clutching my hand. “Great, now I have to take you to the hospital.” 

“No.” I had an idea. 

“No?” 

“I think… I think I can heal it.”

“Cee, healing magic is the most complicated magic there is, you could seriously fuck up your hand by trying this. Besides, how would you even draw the rune?” 

“I don’t need a rune.”

“Fantastic, you’re delusional.” 

“Listen! I remember how it felt when Avi would heal me. I remember the feeling of tapping into the mana of a soul and bending it into the shape it needed to be with just a thought instead of a rune. I just need to do that with my soul, and then I can heal my hand.” 

“So you’re raising the stakes from fucking up your hand to killing yourself.” 

“I can do this! I know it. Just shut up so I can concentrate.” 

“Cee—”

“Shut up, Riley!” 

I shut my eyes and focussed until I could feel the mana radiating from my soul. I remembered the way it felt for my skin and bones to knit themselves back together in seconds and I remembered the pathway the mana took through my body to make that happen. Then I took my soul into my metaphysical hands just like I remembered Avi doing with the souls of others and molded it to fit my needs. 

The bones in my hand snapped back into place and the pain faded. I opened my eyes and immediately the world started spinning. Suddenly I was on the ground and Riley was kneeling in front of me. 

“Cee?! Cee, are you okay?” 

I held up my healed hand and wiggled my fingers. “I did it!” 

“Holy fuck.” Riley helped me up.

“It just took a lot out of me. But this proves my point! We don’t have to wait for everyone else to come save us! We can stop Cliff ourselves!” My success had just strengthened my determination to save Avi. 

“No. It’s still a suicide mission. And one that we’ll fail.” 

“But we have to at least try!” I begged. 

“Why? What good will trying do if we know we can’t win?” They sounded as if they’d already been defeated. 

“We won’t know we can’t win unless we try! Would you rather spend the rest of your life regretting not doing something just because you’re afraid of the outcome?” Maybe that was hypocritical, but I didn’t care.

“Okay, you can do magic, but what about me? I’d just be a burden in a fight.” 

“You’ve been around magic your whole life, you know the theory and the runes and the process. You should be an incredibly powerful caster, we just have to figure out what’s holding you back.” 

“There’s nothing holding me back, I just can’t do it!” They tried to walk away again but I stepped in front of them and got in their face as much as I could considering the height difference between us. 

“Everyone can do magic! I never even knew magic existed before I found a spellbook and I still managed to summon a demon!” 

“Well, I’m not you.” Riley frowned and looked away. 

I huffed. “Alright. You’ve tried spells before, right? What went wrong?” 

Riley looked like they were going to try to change the subject, so I gave them my best glare. They relented. “I draw the rune, I picture what I want to happen, I try to bring forth my mana, and I can feel it. I just can’t do anything with it.” 

“Why not?” 

“I don’t know!” 

“Yes you do!”

“No I don’t!”

“Think!” I grabbed Riley’s shoulders. “What’s stopping you from taking that last step?!” 

“I’m scared, okay!” They pulled away. “It’s scary to take what you are and try to shape it into what you need it to be! What if something goes wrong? What if I get hurt? What if… what if I’m not enough?” 

“Riley…” How should I word my response? “Do you really want to spend your entire life hiding because of a problem that might not even exist? You are enough. Whether you can do magic or not. But that won’t matter if you don’t even try to do your job! Help me save everyone!” 

“You’re being selfish, you know. I’m just a researcher, it’s not my job to risk my life and no one I love is in danger.” 

“What if Sil dies? How will you feel then if you didn’t do everything possible to stop the man that killed her?”

For a second I thought Riley was going to return the punch I’d given them, but then they deflated. I decided to keep pushing.

“Riley, you’re a good person, I know you are. You know Cliff is hurting people and you want to help stop him whether he hurts your loved ones or not. So help me. Please.”

Riley looked down and for a minute I thought I’d fucked up and said the wrong thing. I thought I’d have to try to rescue Avi alone. Then they looked back up, their face a mask of grim determination. 

“Okay, I’ll try. And if I can manage to cast a spell, I’ll fight him with you.” 

“Yes! Thank you!” I almost laughed in relief. “Okay, do you have something to draw with?”

They pulled a washable marker out of their pocket. “I keep an extra, for Sil.” 

“Good. Now, what’s the easiest spell you know the rune for?” 

“I think…” They uncapped the marker and drew on their palm. “There. Light.” 

“Okay, now cast it.” 

Riley held out their arm, clenched their jaw, and stared intently at their hand. 

“Riley, if you’re trying to copy Sil this won’t work, you have to cast it like you.” 

“What does that even mean?” 

“Whatever you think it means.” 

Riley sighed. They held their hand in front of them, palm up, and closed their eyes.

“You can do this, Riley. You just have to trust yourself.”

They took a deep breath, and another, and another. They held their breath for a moment, and as they exhaled their palm began to glow. 

“Riley, it’s working!” 

They opened their eyes and started laughing. “Oh my god! I just did magic! An actual spell!” The light went out as their concentration broke. 

I was overjoyed that I’d have help, but I needed to focus on the mission for now. 

“Alright, no time to celebrate just yet, wipe that off your palm and let’s get you runed up with spells that will actually be useful.” 

[hyperion-catboy]

I apologize in advance for this (maybe pointless) rant and any spelling mistakes, I'm super tired but had to get this off my chest.

I'm trying my best to enjoy the Outlast fandom but lately I've started to feel kinda bitter about it. I'm very discouraged from continuing to upload anything despite enjoying sharing my ideas with everyone a lot. I know it wouldn't really matter because I'm just a very small artist here so it won't make a big difference. I would be sad at least since I've been in the fandom since the very beginning and have seen it grow over all this time.

Being able to interact with other fans, exchange ideas and create things together is something I absolutely love and I've made some amazing friends over our shared love for Outlast, too.

I've been in many different fandoms over the years and have seen them falling apart and the most ridiculous reasons for unnecessary drama. Fandom means a lot of different people share one space and naturally opinions, headcanons and ideas will be the absolute opposite from each other at times.

That goes for how people imagine the especially mostly faceless protagonists of this franchise, too. I personally don't think there's a right or wrong way to portray them as long as it doesn't hurt anybody and I welcome every single interpretation. It's a good thing so many interesting and diverse ideas come together.

For me personally the way the protags have developed with every new piece of art I drew of them over the years has been an incredible fun journey so far. They started out with just vague concepts in my head back then and over all this time more personal ideas, headcanons, impressions and also inspiration from many other fellow artists turned them into who they are right now.

Waylon started out with blue eyes, a completely different face, a short dark brown buzz cut and no freckles at all, I also adapted the headcanon about his Korean origin because it made a lot of sense to me. He has come such a long way and I want to keep going because a lot of neurodivergent folks here probably understand what a comfort character can mean to someone.

Miles has followed me through the time of realizing I am trans to the point where I chose him even as the name I want to live for the rest of my life with.

I got attached to Waylon as well and for some reason I started to deeply project on him as a character. That includes picturing him as transmasc, seeing in him a lot of the anxiety I've struggled with my whole life so far and feeling a certain detachment from my own roots (I'm adopted, I don't know anything about my original background).

I know no one can take that away from me and it's impossible for everyone in a fandom to get along or agree with each other. What I wish for is just some mutual respect for each other and the vast variety of creativity here.

Let each other enjoy Outlast and if there's something you don't agree with, just move on and look at content that makes you happy. Being kind and a decent person costs you nothing, it's not that hard. Curate this space into a fun one for you, create your own little bubble of people you're comfortable with but let those you don't agree with live too and have a good time.

That's what I will try at least from now on. If you made it through this whole rant thank you for taking the time and listening ♡

[ieatsuffering]

‼️Ok so some obvious trigger warnings ahead‼️

❗️tw: Graphic depictions of suicide and death❗️

If you are struggling with this please seek help!

Suicide hotline: tel:+18002738255

So the game plan is to have an Mc with poor mental health, express their su*icidal thoughts to the Li’s, then get found unconscious from an ob, with both a good and bad end! I can do this!

**Lmao I’ve tried writing this for so long but I ran into some major writers block so all I could get out was Asra and Julian**

Asra

He knows somethings wrong, he can feel it with your shared heart

You’re just not your self, random fits of crying, spacing out constantly, not eat, spending whole days just laying in bed staring at the ceiling. Even the things you once loved bring you no joy.

It tears him apart to see you like this, an empty shell of who you used to be

He tries so hard to help you, to cheer you up and care for you, but nothing helps

He can feel your pain

One morning he lays with you in bed as you stare into nothingness. “How are you feeling today Mc, do you want to go for walk?”

“Asra...” you start to speak not looking at him “... I want to die...”

His blood runs cold

“I’m sorry Mc, I don’t think I heard you right...”

“Life just feels pointless, I’m done”

He can’t swallow the lump in his throat, his pulse is in his ears. This must be a bad dream

“I’m so sorry Mc...” he cries, it’s all he can do. Just hold you and cry

After you two manage to calm down and have a long talk he’s determined to heal you

He’s nose deep in spell books, never leaving you side desperately searching for something that may help you

Slowly with his support you start to do better, crying less, moving around more. Things start to go back to normal

Or so he thought

One night while he’s out visiting Muriel he suddenly feels this deep blinding pain in his heart.

“Friend?” Faust ask

Asra blots back to shop shop with heart in his throat runnings as fast as he can tripping over his own feet

“Mc!” He call your name as he busts through the shop door

When you don’t answer he freezes

Not again gods please no not again

Slower now he makes his way to your shared bedroom

There he finds you still and motionless on the your bed purple faces with foam bubbling out of you mouth clutching an empty bottle

Asra good ending

With out even thinking he rushes to your side pressing an ear to you chest, he almost breaks down when he hears the slow faint beat of your heart

He’s not too late

Asra springs into action pouring all of his magic into the most potent healing spell he knows

You jolt up right vomiting the potion as the magic forces you to purge it from your system

Both you and Asra are weak and shaking as you lay together

You’re barley conscious but alive

Once again you’re under asras constent watch however this time instead of trying to help you himself he reaches out to Nadia and Julian

With their help he’s able to get you on a medication for you’re mental health

Slowly but surely you start to be your best self again

Asra bad end

With out even thinking he rushes to your side pressing an ear to you chest, but there’s nothing. You’re pulse has stopped

He’s to late

He just lays there hoping you’re heart will start again

He’s in shock

How could this happen again he lost so much to have you back

He just lays there with you as your body grows cold

Until Faust leads Muriel leads to him holding your corpse

He won’t let you go he can’t. If he lets go you’re truly gone forever

Faust finds Nadia and Julian, it takes all of them to separate Asra from you

They all sit in the floor and hold him as guards come and take your body away for burial

Nadia makes sure you have a grand funeral, that you and Asra get the goodbye you deserve

He keeps up a strong front but Muriel knows, he won’t let Asra out of his sight

Between Muriel, his parents, Faust, and your friends everyone takes turns making sure Asra is never alone, no one wants to loose him too

He never truly heals always looking for someway he can give what’s left of his heart to have you back

Julian

He may ignore his problems but he’s very sensitive to others emotions

Between his own experience with depression and working with soldiers, he’s very informed on mental illnesses. PTSD, general anxiety disorder, depression, substance abuse... he’s seen it all

Out of everyone he knows how to help you the best

He’s seen suicide on countless occasions, he knows to signs

You haven’t expressed your suicidal thoughts to him yet, you don’t have to

He’s already watching you like a hawk, constantly by your side. When he can’t be with you he has people he trust watch you.

Of course he doesn’t tell them why just that your feeling down and he’s worried about leaving you alone

On day while he’s working at the clinic he has you spend the day at the palace which is usually the safest place for you between Nadia and Portia

Today however the palace was in chaos. Portia was running around as Nadia is in and out of meetings. You’ll be fine for a few minutes right?

Julian’s face looses it color as he starts to panic when neither Portia or Nadia know where you are when he goes to bring you home

The look on his face is all they need to know that something is gravely wrong

Nadia orders everyone in the palace to search for you and Portia follows with Julian as he runs through the halls screaming your name

Mercedes and Malachoir run up to him howling and crying. Portia tried to chase them off but they nip and bark at julians coat trying to get him to follow

The dogs lead him to a locked pantry in the kitchen

Portia turns to fetch the keys but Julian throughs himself at the door until he breaks it open

There he finds you laying on the pantry floor in a pool of blood with a knife you had grabbed from the kitchen

Julian good ending

He switches in to war surgeon mode rushing to your side to assess the wound on your arm

In truth it was really a pool of blood, but your life was still in danger as the deep gouge on your arm continued to spout blood

He rips his jacket into strips and calls to Portia to bring him wooden spoons for a make shift tourniquet

He uses the rest for the strips as a bandage your arm

He shouts orders to the servants to starilize a room and to fetch the things he needs to mend your arm

Even after he has your arm stitches up and is certain you’re not in any immediate danger , he stays calm and vigilant

Like a machine he cleans your wound, changes your bandages, and makes sure you don’t develop a fever

It isn’t until you come to that he let’s himself break down

He throughs himself around you holding you tight

He cries and screams in agony but also in relief. Heartbroken and furious that you would try to leave him but relived that this time he was there to save you

After this he never really trusts to leave you alone even years after when you’re healed he’ll still get anxious if he doesn’t know where you are

Julian bad end

He goes into war surgeon mode rushing to your side

He can tell it’s to late, he’s seen enough people bleed out in his life to know how much blood is too much

But he won’t let himself believe it. He was too busy the first time you died to save you he couldn’t let it happen again. He couldn’t loose you again because he couldn’t be bothered to care for you

Despite it being a hopeless effort he applies pressure to the gushing wound as your body grows cold

“Come on darling please you can’t leave me”

His hand are shacking covered in your blood

“Nononononono...please.... PLEASE... MC NO DONT LEAVE ME!”

Portia knees to his side placing a gentle hand in his shoulder, “Ilyushka, she’s gone”

He lets out a chocked sob holding your stiff body covered in you blood

He manages to stay strong just long enough to attend your funeral

But the moment they put the last bit of dirt on your grave he’s a wreck

He spends all day in bed and all night wasted getting into fights hoping someone and one will put him out of his misery

One night after getting into a fight with an especially rowdy thug he gets his wish

[fanfic-chan]

Ooh how about;

“Kid, stop being so hard on yourself, you did great out there!”

With Ler Fatgum and Lee Tamaki? 🥺💕

Ahhh! I loved this prompt so much! I'm really sorry it took so long to finish, but this one gave me the perfect opportunity to bring up the importance of setting boundaries as well as talk about the struggle of insecurities, which I relate to a lot sometimes, and I wanted to make it as perfect as possible. Anyways, I really hope you like it!^^

Cheer Up Suneater!

Ler: Dadgum

Lee: Amajiki

"Kid, stop being so hard on yourself, you did great out there!"

Taishiro sighed in fond exasperation when the teen just shrugged in response, shoulders hunched and face hidden beneath the hood of his costume.

The two of them had just made their way back to the agency after patrol after he and his shy intern had stopped a small group of villains from robbing a local convenience store. Tamaki had managed to capture two of the thugs all by himself while Fatgum had been busy with the leader, but one of them had managed to escape him, and the boy had been beating himself up over it ever since, even though the criminal had been recaptured again only fifteen minutes later anyway. He'd been trying to cheer the kid up ever since with little luck so far.

"Come on kiddo, I'm serious! It could have happened to anyone, and no one got hurt, so it's fine alright? You did your best and in the end that's all that matters. You still caught one of them, so give yourself some credit, okay?" He insisted, poking him in the side for emphasis when he didn't get a response.

"Eheheep! O-Okay!" The boy squeeked out, jolting a little. The BMI hero paused for a moment before grinning mischievously, an idea suddenly popping into his mind of how he could convince the kid to listen to him and get him to cheer up at the same time. "Tamaki? What was that?" He asked, almost casually, but with a slight undertone of playfulness that he knew the kid would pick up on.

Tamaki froze at his mentor's change in tone, hood slipping down to his shoulders as he whipped his head around to face him. Oh no. He knew that tone. "Uh, um, n-nohohothing?" He tried, taking a cautious step backwards, a wobbly nervous grin already beginning to take form on his face.

"Are you suuure~?" The pro continued his act, tapping his chin as if in deep thought, "Because it certainly didn't sound like nothing. In fact, I think that might have been a laugh, so tell me Suneater, what's so funny?" He asked, feigning ignorance even as he slowly brought his hands up to form two claws. Tamaki took this as his signal to run, and immediately booked it in the opposite direction of the hallway, his mentor in hot pursuit.

See, every so often, whenever he got into one of his 'moods' as Fatgum liked to call them, sometimes they would end up playing some sort of game together to help him out of his funk. One of these games was a slightly altered version of tag that Fatgum had come up with when they were discussing ways to help him with his anxiety. At the time, Tamaki had bashfully admitted that tickling was one the things he found to be affective, and that Mirio had started the technique back when they were little kids, so, after a long talk about boundaries and setting up safewords, tickle tag was born. It was pretty much just normal tag really, the only real difference being that instead of being made the dreaded 'It' when Fat eventually caught him, instead he would-

"AIEEEEHEHE! W-Wait! Fat! Nohoho!" He cried out in surprise when he was suddenly scooped up around his middle and held against the man's chest, already giggling in anticipation of what he knew to be the inevitable.

"Gotcha kiddo!" Taishiro stated triumphantly, unable to suppress a few of his own chuckles at the kid's frankly adorable attempts to curl into a ball. "Now, you still haven't answered my question, so tell me. What's. So. Funny?" With each word, he poked the kid lightly in the stomach, delighted in the joyful squeal that his usually quiet intern let out when he did so, and the young hero immediately started scrambling for an answer, stuttering perfusely and clearly flustered.

"You're gonna tic- t-tic-"

Now, Tamaki would be lying if he said he didn't enjoy this. He did. After all, being tickled was one of the few things that worked when it came to overriding his often crippling self depreciation spells. He knew that, Fat knew that, and he knew that Fat knew that. He also knew that he trusted his mentor to respect his boundaries, he wouldn't have told him about the technique in the first place if he didn't.

Even so, it didn't make it any less embarrassing when he was giggling like a little kid in his mentor's arms from something so childish, which is why he was currently struggling so much to spit it out already. But Fat was patient with him, as always, and eventually he did manage to answer, albeit very quietly.

"You're gonna… t-tickle me.."

"Hmm? What was that last part now? Speak up please Tamaki! I'm gonna what?"

Oh for the love of-

"TICKLE ME!"

"Oh! You want me to tickle you? Well ok then! If that's what you want!"

"What?! No wait! Fat! T-that's not what I- pfftahahaha! Eeep! Oh nohohohohoho!" Tamaki immediately burst into frantic giggles when the hero finally stopped teasing him and started to tickle him for real, skittering his fingertips up and down his sides lightly but effectively, while simultaneously keeping him in place by encompassing him in a firm yet gentle hug. The technique seemed to be working pretty well, and it didn't take long at all for the young hero to break.

"AHAhahahahah! Plehehease! STAHAHA- Stohohop it!" He begged frantically despite knowing it was pointless. He knew what he had to do to make him stop. The deal was that instead of using a codeword like 'red' or something similar to signal that he was really done, instead he had to say something nice about himself. Every. Single. Time. He hated it, but that was the agreement they'd come up with, and he had to admit it was pretty affective for the most part. He always came out of these little cheer up sessions feeling just a bit more positive about himself than before. He didn't admit this though, obviously.

"OKAY! OKAHAHAY! I- Ihihi dihihid a goohood johohob!! I dihihihid! YOUHOU'RE RIGHT! I WAS WROHOHONG! NOW PLEHEHEASE!!" He relented after a few more minutes, gulping in mouthfuls of sweet, sweet oxygen as it all came to a stop, just like that.

"You good kiddo?" He heard Fatgum ask from behind him, arms still wrapped around his waist while he calmed down just to make sure he wouldn't collapse to the floor while he recovered. Tamaki nodded through his excess giggles, feeling much better now even though his face hurt from laughing and the embarrassing realization that he was no doubt blushing bright red. He pulled his hood back over his head at the thought, and his mentor chuckled as he carefully set him back on his feet.

"Alright alright! Let's go get something to eat and drink now yeah? I'm sure you're probably hungry after all that. And no more saying mean things to yourself, or else. Sound good?"

"Hehe, y-yeah. Sounds good."

His mentor really was the best.

[bcdwhcre]

This is my 2nd time I'm sending a request I'm sorry this'll be my last ansjsj

Can you do a Hanji x reader where the reader and Hanji are best friends in the scouts and the reader has feelings for Hanji so they tend to act a little flirty? But the reader is actually Levi's sister and Levi finds it so obvious how much the reader loves Hanji so he just teases for her it? Hanji then overhears the reader talking about her feelings and boom! Confession! ^^

“Confessions,” Hange x Reader

Girrrrl send as many requests as you like, I don’t mind at allllllllll. Hanji Hanji, I love her and I know I spell it how it is in the dub its a habit. my apologiesssssss.

Summary: Levi’s younger sister has a crush on Hange and he finds it real obvious, teasing you until you end up confessing.

Warnings: none

.

.

.

Growing up wasnt easy. You and Levi were left to starve and then trained to be full on machines, learning how to fight and defend before you were even ten years old.

Levi had tried his best to protect you, he still does to this day as the both of you worked in the scout regiment and were each made Captains.

The more time went on and days were spent all together in the room, drinking and eating. You found yourself having a big crush on Hange, you liked her confidence and the way she’s driven to the Titans and wanting to learn about them. It was crazy but you liked it.

You would even admit that you were in love with her. You would spend your days off with her, learning about her discoveries, her theories and even spent time with her when she had caught two Titans and did research on them up close.

The way she was in love with her work, the way she dedicated herself to the two Titans and was absolutely fascinated with them, even if it almost killed her on numerous occasions- it just all made you fall in love with her more.

You were in deep.

It wasn’t long till Levi had caught on, he knew you better than anyone and the way you stared at her from across the room or the way you listened to every word she said as she rambled on about pointless stuff that you knew nothing about.

He knew you had a big crush on her and he teased you about it for months on end. He made sure to be the annoying big brother that bullies his sister with jokes about how you’re soft for her, how you practically drool over her when she speaks to you.

“Just shut up, Levi.” You groaned, sitting inside his office as he laughed, shooting more playful jokes your way.

It had made you grow frustrated with your brother, he was a pain in the ass to deal with and now that he knew that you liked your fellow comrade, he couldn’t help but bug you about it.

It was entertaining to him, this was the only time he got a good laugh during the awful times of working and risking your lives to protect others.

“C’mon, it’s funny.” He rolled his eyes at your attitude but laughed about it shortly afterwards.

“It’s only funny to you, dumb ass. Why don’t you stop being a lonely old man and go find someone.” You said sarcastically, making his eyebrows furrow and shoot you a dirty look.

“I don’t need anyone. All I need is myself and you, remember that.” He simply said but you knew why he was never interested in finding someone for himself.

Levi holds up this giant wall that is three times bigger than him. He acts cold, he acts like he isn’t phased by anything but deep down, everything hits him like bricks. He convinced himself that being alone was a better option as a Scout instead of setting himself up for heartbreak and risk loving someone just to lose them to Titans.

He convinced himself that nothing was more important than family. Than you, as his little sister. He didn’t need anything else but you, losing you would be losing himself entirely.

“I’m grown, I can watch myself.” You scoffed, crossing your arms over your chest and he shrugged his shoulders.

“Eh, you still remind me of the five year who cried all the time.. You still cry all the time.” He joked, making you roll your eyes.

“So, are you going to tell Hange or should I?” Levi spoke up again, bringing the topic right back on the table and you groaned dramatically.

You didn’t want to talk about it any longer, the fact that a simple crush was being held over your head was annoying enough especially it being done by Levi. You wanted to punch him in the face and you were tempted to do it at this very moment.

You knew you couldn’t bring yourself to tell Hange your feelings, in the back of your head you were convinced she didn’t go in that direction, that she didn’t like women but some times it was questionable but the paranoia had lingered over you which prevented you from even thinking about telling her.

While you argued with your brother, Hange had walked down the hallway to actually look for you to help her with some theories she had in mind. She wanted to run them by you because you were the only person that showed interest and actually gave her good advice.

As she walked by Levi’s office, she overheard your voice and stopped in her tracks when her name was brought up in the conversation.

“Are you going to tell Hange or should I?”

She raised her eyebrow, tell her what? She was confused as she stood by the door, her ear up to the crack to listen to more. She hated to be nosey but she couldn’t help it when she was brought up.

“How am I supposed to tell her? It’s not as easy as you make it sound, Levi. This could either ruin our friendship or not.” You hated this, you hated the topic and you wanted to move on.

But Levi being the annoying asshole he was, he edged on and on just to watch the pure irritation on your face just for his amusement.

“C’mon, it’s not that hard. Just open your mouth up and speak.” He smirked, resting his arms on the desk as he leaned forward.

“You’re just a scary chicken.” He teased, making Hange almost giggle under her breath at the childish nickname he gave you.

But the more she stood there, the more she was intrigued with the conversation and wanting to listen to more. She had glanced down each side of the hallway to make sure no one was near or walking down to blow her cover as she continued the sneaky act.

“God, you’re so irritating. It’s not that easy for me to walk up to her and say I’m in love with you. Keep teasing me about it and I’ll kick your short ass.” You threatened him, making his laugh only grow louder.

Her eyes widen at the confession you let out. You were in love with her? She couldn’t process it or think clearly but it had definitely made her heart pound inside her chest and adrenaline run through her veins.

As you got up from the other side of the desk, telling your brother that you were leaving as he continued to giggle like a school girl. Once she heard your footsteps come closer to the door, she had practically ran down the hallway and go around the corner.

She didn’t really know what to do, should she bring this up to you? Should she just get this over with and confront you? She didn’t know and all that thinking she did, she didn’t realize you walking down the hallway in her direction until you startled her by turning the corner.

“Oh shit!” You jumped, making her jump and drop the files she was holding in her hands.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t see you.” You admitted shyly, your cheeks growing hot as you kneeled down to scatter up the files and hand them back to her.

“It’s okay, actually- I was looking for you.” Hange abruptly said then quickly shut her mouth, that’s not what she wanted to say- now the topic was at the front of her mind.

“Oh? What about?”

“Uh, I had some theories but first I kind of wanted to get something off my chest.” She said, fixing her glasses and met your gaze with a almost worried look that made you become paranoid.

“I didn’t mean to um, listen in but I heard you and Levi talking.” She finished, making your eyes go wide and suddenly your cheeks were as red as a tomato.

“Ahh, um.” You didn’t know what to say, you started to stutter and started to look around the empty hallway to avoid her stare.

This is not what you had in mind about confessing to Hange. You couldn’t help but think if Levi was behind this sick plan, it wouldn’t be surprising if he did- he’s a selfish asshole after all.

As you stood there quietly, Hange had began to worry and clung tighter onto the files in her hands. She didn’t really know what to say and that’s coming from someone who is always talking and rambling about something.

But as she stood in front of you, watching you get all flustered up, it gave her a bit of a confidence boost to lean down and press her lips on yours, catching you by surprise completely.

You weren’t expecting this, your anxiety made you think of the worst in every situation but here she was, kissing your lips and it made your heart skip a beat at the small kiss.

When she pulled back, both of your faces flustered up and red- she had given you a cute smile and gestured you to follow her.

“C’mon, I have some theories to tell you.”

You were confused, thrown back but you followed her back to her office and she noticed how you were still quiet, probably even overthinking the small kiss you two shared.

“I hope you know that me kissing you meant that I like you too.”

.

.

.

Soft soft soft🥺

• Main Masterlist •

• AOT Masterlist •

[fairy-writes]

Okie I know you’ve done a doctor who matchup for me but omfg I saw you had Dresden files on your fandom list and was wondering if I could have a romantic matchup? I love that series omfg

My pronouns are she/her and im bisexual.

𝗣𝗘𝗥𝗦𝗢𝗡𝗔𝗟𝗜𝗧𝗬: I have massive introverted tendencies and am awkward in nature with new people. As a result I can come across as aloof and indifferent at first. I absolutely despise small talk. However with my friends I’m quite friendly and outgoing. Whenever I’m with my friends I can get really giggly and dorky when talking abt my recent hyperfixations. I open up to people very easily if we have similar interests. That’s when the chaotic theories and wacky ideas spout out. I tend to either overthink everything or not think at all. I’m a bit of a control freak and want to do the things the way I do them but I won’t enforce this on anyone else unless the result directly affects me. Just let me do things the way I do them. I'm also quite dedicated and ambitious on what I want in my life and will stand by those decisions.

𝗜𝗡𝗧𝗘𝗥𝗘𝗦𝗧𝗦: Art. Any art honestly. Though I mostly work with digital mediums. That is, I love to creative code. I love working with interaction design, web design, user experience and user interfaces. I also love special effects, and 3D/2d modeling. I’m currently trying to build my own mini video game. Apart from this, I love other mediums of art too especially drawing, digital illustrating, and printmaking.

𝗛𝗢𝗕𝗕𝗜𝗘𝗦: let’s just say I spend way too much time daydreaming. Fan fiction, video games, movies, books, tv shows. Anything that lets me daydream and disappear from reality for a while is a hobby of mine. I also love working out and weight lifting.

LIKES: I love lazy weekends at home, classic arcades, vanilla lattes, learning random new facts, spending time alone, intelligence, creativity, a good sense of witty humor, conversations where you can just be yourself and skip all the awkward small talk, the look on people’s faces when they ramble abt the stuff they’re into, wearing way too much jewelry, a good home cooked meal, summer and warm weather, a good giggling session with friends esp abt fictional crushes ahahha.

DISLIKES: hugging and physical touch, large crowds, seriousness to a fault, cold weather, admitting my anxieties, talking on the phone, going to the doctor/dentist, people who are “courageous” but are really idiots jumping into things without thinking, small talk, backstabbing people, when people have no ambition/purpose in life

Thank you!

Hello again lovely! I got so pumped to write your matchup when I saw it! I LOVE the Dresden Files! I actually have a story in progress with it! I hope you like your matchup! 

I pair you with… Harry Blackstone Copperfield Dresden!

(this is the only gif I could find of Harry that wasn't Harry Styles)

(I couldn’t resist, lmao)

(Also, we’re ignoring the fact that I genuinely have no clue how old Harry is, so this could be completely off)

OKAY, SO HARRY DRESDEN. Resident mess and our favorite spell-slinging wizard is your perfect match!

The two of you initially met through Karen Murphy! You and Murphy are great friends, and it’s only natural that she introduces you to the significant people in her life. That significant person being Harry Dresden. Harry takes an instant liking to you when he sees how much you and Murphy care for each other. It takes some time with mutual pining (cause who wouldn’t pine after Dresden? I know I probably would, either that or terrified cause he’s a literal giant), but he eventually asks you out, and you start dating!

Small talk? What’s small talk? Harry absolutely despises it just as much as you do, so don’t worry about him bringing up pointless topics in conversation. He loves to hear you talk! The two of you have similar interests, so it can get pretty chaotic pretty quickly, but he loves every second of it. He’s had a long and lonely life without someone to really call his, without there being some sort of caveat or problem after getting with them. But there are no such things with you, so you both just get to be happy :)

Harry typically lets you do whatever you want in the relationship (within reason, don’t go cheating on this wizard). The only time he really puts his foot down is when the results could get you in danger or trouble with the wizarding world or with fae folk. But he loves your ambition! He thinks it’s incredibly attractive and pushes him to do more in his own life.

So video games, movies, and tv shows are a no-go. They don’t mix well with magic, so books are really the only thing he likes to surprise you with. They’re usually obscure titles and books because Harry prefers shopping local and at hole-in-the-wall bookshops instead of huge company chains. Overall, this wizard loves you a whole lot and enjoys your company!

[wtfsaidthefox]

Can’t sleep?

Duskwood - Jake x MC - 1779 words - Spoilers for Ep7!

Starts out with MC (who I randomly decided to name Sam) struggling after the events of Ep7, and Jake wanting to comfort her. Ends in self-indulgence fluff, because apparently that's the only way I can imagine Jake.

Under „read more" due to length~

Middle of the Night. She could hear rain coming down, beating against the open window of her bedroom. It wasn't all that cold, but she felt cold, even with her blanket pulled up halfway over her head. There was just a shiver going through her she couldn't shake. By now, she must have been lying in bed for a few hours, trying to find some sleep but dreading it all the same.

It had only been yesterday. Someone she had come to call a friend and care about in these last days… killed, right in front of her. It still didn't feel real. Then again, it felt like the only reality she had left. The pictures didn't leave her. Richy, coughing up blood. Richy, his face slowly growing still and lifeless. The panic taking over her, her heartbeat too loud and too fast in her own ears, that one thought hammering in her head, „do something, do something, do something".

If she'd try to recall her own actions right now, she barely could. She told the others. Desperate, incoherent syllabyles and half sentences. They went through disbelief, shock and denial all in a few seconds, but one of them managed to call the police. They had barely spoken since Richy's body was found, and on her end, she couldn't blame anything but guilt. Maybe they had pushed too much. Maybe it was her fault. Maybe she could have done something.

With a small, low groan she reached for her phone. Sleep wouldn’t come, and if, it would come with the same nightmares of last night, so she was tired of fighting for it. Anything else would do.

Opening her phone, she realized that she had an unread message.

Jake.

Between everything falling apart and coming undone, Jake had tried his best to stay calm. But it was even hard for him. ‚He must be so worried‘, she thought, ‚what this could mean for Hannah. Is Hannah dead already too, after all? Will everyone abandon the search for his sister?‘. In truth, he was worried for her.

„Hello Sam. You're probably asleep by now, at least I hope so. I just wanted to ask if you were alright. I mean, whenever you wake up. Please just let me know.“

A slight smile ghosted over her lips. Had someone told her after that first voice distorted phone call that the man under that hoodie would turn out to be such a sweetheart, she'd have laughed at them. But there was really no other word more fitting for Jake. Going through the best, most convincing „I'm all good" standard responses in her head, she noticed the little green dot next to his name. He was online. And just a few seconds later, another message popped up, he had seen her being online too.

„Can't sleep?“

„No. Do you ever sleep?“

„Some times?“

There was a bit of a break. She didn't know what to say, her thoughts a mess and her fingers shaky. Jake started typing. Stopped. Erased the Text. Then again.

„If you can't sleep Sam, I'm here for you.“

„You're sweet Jake.“

This was bittersweet, if she was honest. His care for her made her feel warm for the first time since she crawled under her blanket. But she was also at a loss for words. Shouldn't he focus on Hannah? Did she really deserve his support now? And most of all… how? How could he help her, far way, at some place she didn't even know. But she’d bite her tongue off before admitting to that thought.

„Do you want to talk?“

„You mean Smalltalk? 🤭“

Well, this sounded familiar.

„I would love to Jake, it's just…. I don't even know about what. Anything else would do, but I'm only coming up blank.“

„I'd know something.“

Oh? Now this was new. Curious, she asked him to go ahead.

„While I was in hiding, the only thing I could think of was you. How much I missed you. All the things I wanted to tell you. All the things you didn't know about me yet, but that I wanted to share. Even if I never shared them before, or couldn't even say why it suddenly meant so much to me to tell you. And more then that, all the things I didn‘t yet know about you. All the things I wanted to ask for no other reason then that I want to know you.“

He straightened up in front of his PC. Close to 2 in the night, he hadn't even moved away from his desk yet. Sleep, especially good sleep, had been a stranger to him for so long now, he had given up trying. There was always something on his mind, something to be done, one potential mistake to double check, one preparation more to make. If he was honest, most often, it was pointless. Nothing but his own ghosts from these last months on the run from the governement keeping him awake.

But this time was different. This time, the reason was right.

„You can ask me anything you want Jake“

„What makes you happy?“

Unexpected. Again. She furrowed her brows as she pondered the answer to his question.

„That's a hard one to answer"

„I know. I don't think I could have answered it myself just a short time ago.“

The implication was obvious enough, but still, she needed to hear it. Hear it spelled out.

„But you do now?“

„I do. You. You make me happy.“

She read those words a few times, with a smile on her face, aloud, or in her head in what she imagined his voice to sound like. Jake was normally not too good at reading other peoples emotions, but she couldn't help wondering if he knew how much she had needed to hear that. What those words meant, especially now, when all she was capable of was blaming and doubting herself.

„You make me happy too Jake“

„And that means more to me then I can say. But still, I'd love to hear what else does.“

„Are you planing to use that information against me?“

„Yes. Repeatedly and without fail :)“

How cute could he get? Laughing, she shoke her head and decided to just list everything randomly that would spring to mind.

„Well…. My neighbours, they have this little dog, and every time it sees me in the hallway it's all excited and overjoyed and adorable. That's just infectious. And the first flowers coming out in spring. Every year. Getting to sleep in on Sundays. Getting to hug my friends and family, especially if I haven't seen them for a long time. And seeing them smile. Oh, and you know what? Giving them a present that was just right. You know this horrible feeling of anxiety and impending failure every time you fret over what best to get a loved one for their birthday or on christmas? But then when you hit the nail on the head, and they love it – that has to be one of the best feelings in the world!“

„Of course you would", he answered to the last bit, before she could go on.

„I would what?“

„List giving others presents over receiving them.“

„Well, I'm not complaining about that either 😛 oh, and before I forget to add: parks, forest, beaches – just taking a walk through any of those. Or sitting down for a picnic and just watching the sky. It’s been way too long since I did that last. Have you done that before?“

„No, at least not for a very long time. But I would love to do that with you.“

„As a warning: I will tell you how every single cloud looks like a bunny, or a duck, or my old angry math teacher"

„What if I can identify those clouds first?“

„Then I'm impressed and you get points"

„And what do I get if I have more points then you and win?“

„An actual cloud. So cotton candy.“

She really was the only person that could still make him smile. Just like she was the only one that still made him feel like one day, he could be genuinely happy again himself. That there were people in this world he could trust, no second guessing, no double checking, no constant overthinking every word he said. Talking to her was easy. It made him feel weightless and light-headed, and he had no idea anymore how he had managed to fight those feelings for one second in the beginning.

He had started to tell her, trying to write down just what she meant to him, but in the most unfair contradiction, finding the right words for that was impossibly hard. And given what had just happened, was this really the right time?

Before he could finish debating on hitting send or not, another message popped up.

„Jake…. Is there really a chance for that? Can I really meet you, one day? Because… I wished you were here"

„I know. I wished that too. So I could be with you and support you, more then just with a few words. But I promise you, once this is all over, I'll find a way.“

Yes, he would. He had started to think about how while he had been on the run, and he knew he could make it happen. There was simply no other choice.

Realizing this again, he had deleted his previous attempt at telling her just what exactly she meant to him. Maybe the time wasn't wrong, but the how was. He’d tell her in person. He’d tell her in his own voice, looking into her eyes and seeing her reaction on his face after every single word. And then he‘d tell her again, until she was tired of hearing it.

Which she would probably never be. She felt herself exhaling, letting go of a breath she hadn't even realized she was holding in, as she read his answer to the question she had been so afraid to ask. Which she should have asked sooner, because his answer brought her more relief then she could have hoped. It was exactly how he could help her, more then anyone else, no matter where he was right now.

„Thank you Jake"

„:)“

„I'll reserve all the prettiest picnic places in all the nearby parks 😉“

„Well I hope there are a lot, so we get to spent a lot of time together.“

„There are! Though at some point we will probably also have to think of something else 🤭“

„Looking back at your previous reply, I guess I’d get you flowers next. Or hugs. Or a dog. I'll decide spontaneously :P“

[honesthammie]

From my prompt list:

4) After reaching your 16th birthday you gain the ability to see everyone's red strings of fate and on your 18th you finally get to see yours, except yours dissappears into the ground/sky.

Fandom:Doctor who

Pairing: 13 x gender neutral reader

This is my first fic on tumblr. I know its hella long and not all of my fics will be like this. This came to me from a dream I had recently. I love Jodie and I decided to write the spider episode from a different perspective. I may have change the episode slightly to fit the reader. I am thinking of doing a part 2 but it may be a while before I do as I have deadlines and stuff to keep up with. The next part may be more fluff between 13 and yourself. I know this didn't have much but it's something. I'm also sorry to any Americans reading this, I love yas but its just the personality I put to go with the readers personality. I'm also sorry for any spelling mistakes as I'm doing this on my phone.

Summary: spider episode with a small change I'm plot to accommodate your beautiful self in this fic

Warnings: slight description of a couple of panic/anxiety attacks, swearing and a bit of angst. Long intro for small fluff. And it's a part 1 do I guess a small cliffhanger is a warning?

Beep beep beep. Your alarm starts blaring in your ears, waking you up with a start. You glare at the interrupting machine before turning it off. After such a crazy night, you did not want your sleep so rudely interrupted. Why did you have a crazy night? It's your 18th birthday today and your friends decided to visit your place for a little house party, last night, to celebrate and now you have a pounding headache.

You groaned as you realised, you would need to take some pain meds before you even think about going back to sleep. Slipping out of your bed, you walk to the bathroom and find the cupboard with all sorts of medicinal and bathroom bits and bobs. You then grab the glass that you placed there in preparation for the definite hangover. The glass was a little cold to the touch but you filled it with some cool water from the sinks tap.

You took two, just so you could have a longer sleep. You waddle back into your bedroom and just as you get comfy, you widen your eyes at the memory. You needed to see your mother today, she said she had a gift for you but she would only be at home until 11. You looked at the machine that you hated for the time. It was currently 10:05. You jumped to your feet and rush to get ready.

As you walked outside, you saw the regular red strings that you saw everyday. Why do you see strings? You honestly didn't know, but you knew their purpose, it helped match 2 soulmates together. But something seemed a little off, there was no one on the street anymore, so why could you still see one line of destiny? You decided to follow the string south, down to your own (s/c) hand which was now slightly shaking at the sight.

"Fuck. Fuck,fucky fucking fuck. Why now? Why me? What the shit is going on with me?" You curse to yourself. You could feel your breath getting rapid and your head started spinning slightly. You quickly unlocked your car and sat down to help calm you down. You took a few deep breaths and focused on your senses.

When you eventually calmed down, you decided to look at where the string led. Oh, how you shouldn't have looked. It didn't go in any way of a compass, it went straight up and past the clouds. How? You had so many questions but you had to focus on the day ahead.

You had been to your mothers house and collected your new (fave game series) and your card. You were incredibly thankful as you have been saving up to buy it for yourself one day. You had played the previous games and loved every one of them and to say you were excited was an understatement. You almost ran back into your place if it wasn't for needing the key to access the gates.

Living in a gated community helped you feel a lot safer but it did also make you a big target for thieves to practise picking locks. No one had figured out where the hidden camera that kept alerting the authorities was though. Even you have tried put of plain curiosity but you got stumped after the 10th day of searching. You were sure you looked in every possible hiding spot, yet the camera always seemed to evade you in the pointless game of hide and seek.

As you unlocked the gate, you felt a twitch on your finger. The string was moving down and at a very fast pace, almost falling speed. You looked up and saw a small black dot heading towards the ground, if thats your soulmate, they would certainly be dead the second they meet their fate. When you could no longer see the dot, you kept your eyes glued to the string, waiting for it to disappear like everyone else's did when a soulmate died.

After five minutes, the string was still there and was still as red as ever, like no harm had come to them. But thats not possible. No creature could survive that especially from that great a height! You were beyond curious and quickly went into your living room and searched on all your social media for anyone else that may have spotted the dot in the sky, yet no one had but you knew (b/f) had another massive fight with their roommate, Stella, over whose turn it was to do the dishes again.

If you didn't know that Stella was in a relationship with another, you would have sworn those two were in a relationship. You giggled at the silly thought, "if Stella ever goes through a break up with her, I'm totally gonna set those two up."

You give up on finding anything out today, maybe it'll be on the news tomorrow and you set off to go on an online shopping spree, you had a few codes and now, thanks to your wonderful mother, had a little cash to spare and you did see that gorgeous top on sale. Once you had spent the day either shopping or gaming you decided to head to bed but you couldn't stop thinking about that dot and what the red string meant for you.

When your alarm had went off, you hit it and got dressed for your new job at some hot shot posh hotel run by an aspiring American with High expectations and little experience with Sheffield. You had been told you wouldn't get to meet him much and you were beyond fine with that, you hated Americans, simply because you hated violence and guns were the big no on your weaponry list of avoidance. You didn't mind weapons in video games, those were harmless to the outside world. You didn't mind verbal violence though, it was all you had to defend yourself with and in Sheffield, that was better than nothing. You were very short tempered when it came to your anger but you found that it was either verbal or physical, you chose to be verbal.

You looked at your phone for any messages from (b/f) and had a good luck message. You replied with a smiley face and a "ill need all the luck I can get. I've heard from a few employees that he can be a real asshole for no reason and fires people just because they made eye contact for too long. It's like he suspects someone is out for his blood."

After 2 minutes you received a reply from from them. "You better be on your best behaviour then, young lady!"

"That's the problem. I wonder what the record is for the quickest a person has got fired? Because I may break that, you know me! I don't exactly do as I'm told, that's why finding a job has been so hard. Anyway, I best get ready, gotta look the part! First impressions and all!" You replied with a nervous face. What you failed to notice was the red string no longer pointing towards the sky and you were making it shorter with every step you took. You did give up on finding out about the strange dot and came to the assumption that it fell in a lake, there were plenty of them around.

You walked into the swanky looking hotel and noticed the cobwebs that definitely were not there two days ago when you had your interview, yet they looked like they had been there for weeks. You would have put it down to Halloween decorations if it wasn't for the fact that it was June. You decided to not ask in case this was some sort of strange new American trend that your boss was following to help bring in the youth. It does help make it fit into Sheffield a lot more with the run down and abandoned look. It would need some rust, water damage, mold and cracks to finish the look but it was a start. If you had to be honest, the spider webs helped bring the place together. It was way too posh for Sheffield but you had to lie and say you love it in order to get hired. Just from that lie alone you knew exactly the personality of your boss, arrogant, vain and ignorant.

"Hello, you must be my new helper! I'm Najia, your second in command here. As you can see, there are loads of spider webs so they should be priority. If you could start cleaning in the south west second floor and continue that floor, that would be amazing. Now here's your cleaning trolley and if you happen to finish the floor early, send me a little message through the walkie talkie and I'll give you another room or floor. Do you have any questions?" Najia spoke softly. She seemed lovely and it was shame that she had to be in a place that would get more damage than its worth.

"Just one question: why so many spider webs?"

"I don't know, they just seemed to have appeared, I thought it was silly string from some teenagers that managed to break in somehow but it is actual spider web. It wasn't here when I left last night. I guess I'll have to ask someone about that."

And with that you separated and got to your floor when you finally noticed a slight burning sensation on your finger, it wasn't hurtful. It was like putting the finger in a really hot bath. You looked down and noticed it now pointed downhill and seemed to be glowing a shade of gold ever so gently that you would miss it if the weird sensation didn't make you look.

You left your trolley outside a toilet to make it seem like you were in there when really you had wondered off to follow the string. You would probably lose yourself in the maze of hallways that all looked the same as the last if the string didn't help lead you to a ballroom. You opened the door and instantly screamed. A giant spider was walking towards you, however you couldn't get out, you had used a staff door which needed a key card to use from this side as the other side still needed to be fitted and you left yours in the trolley, near the toilets. And the massive spider seemed to be blocking the other way out so you were trapped.

You weren't scared of spiders but seeing them at the size of a van did intimidate you. You started shaking from fear of what it would do to you. Out of pure instinct, you put your hand out to protect yourself and the sound of 8 legs against wooden flooring had ceased. The only sound was your laboured breathing. It stayed like this for what seemed like hours but in actuality was only 5 minutes. You opened your eyes slowly to see 8 more stare right back. 8 eyes that showed fear but no intention of harm. Instead the spider gave you space to breathe by walking back a few feet. Then it seemed to be watching you, studying your next move to see if you were a threat and whether or not it should kill you.

You stayed still for a moment, wrapping your head around what had just happened before gently walking towards the creature with both hands forward to show them clean of weapons. You decided to try and speak to the spider to see if it can understand you.

"Hello. I'm new around here, I'm sorry if I'm trespassing on your area, I wasn't aware of you being here to be honest. I mean you no harm, if anything, I want to help you but unfortunately, I'm stuck in here aswell." You spoke carefully as if it was a child that was afraid. You gently put your hand in its head and it seemed to understand your good intentions and your situation as it let you pet it. Now you were close, you started to admire it and realised it wasn't poisonous or venomous, it was just a regular house spider. But you couldn't figure out how or why it got this big but it did explain the cobwebs everywhere.

You had been with the spider for hours and it seemed like Najia either didn't care or has gotten fired as she hasn't asked about you. You had spent the time talking or singing to the spider. She, as you found out after looking it up, seemed to put her body around you to protect you. You had even met a couple of her children as they gave you food from the cafeteria to nibble on when your stomach growled.

Eventually the burning on your fingers turned up massively and was causing you pain. The spider seemed to sense this and wrapped her web around your finger to help cool it down a little. It didn't help but you showed gratitude anyway as she was only trying to help in anyway she could. You gave her a small smile and her eyes seemed to show sympathy in return.

Then the doors opened again and the sound of several feet walked in. "Oh thank god. I thought I was never going to be found in here." You thought to yourself as you heard the voices mumble to each other and probably about Betty and what's the best way to get rid of her. You would have paid more attention if your finger didn't feel like it had caught fire and was tight as if your soulmate was amongst those that had walked in.

Now you were nervous. How would you introduce yourself? What did they look like? Were they male or female, not that you really cared? So many questions made you feel lightheaded so you grabbed onto Betty to keep yourself planted.

Then the door opened again and a familiar voice echoed in the hall and you knew exactly how he'd want to deal with Betty and after your bond today, you would rather die than her. She was obviously innocent here and maybe the others could see it. Then you heard the familiar click of a gun safety being taken off and your body reacted before your mind did and you jumped in front of her to stop him, although you had a feeling it wouldn't, but it was worth a shot for the others to stop him.

"Don't you fucking dare shoot that gun Dickhead! Not without going through me!" You spoke with fire in your eyes and maybe a slight mix if fear aswell. That's when you looked over at the new group of people. They all seemed trustworthy enough.

There was Najia, who welcomed you here earlier and she looked sad, so she had definitely been fired. Then there was another woman who looked a lot like her, you guessed she was a daughter or something and she was pretty and definitely somone with authority with the way she stood and held herself, maybe she is a police officer? A man who looked as though he was in his 50s and definitely did not belong in this weird group. A young man who looked of a similar age to the police woman, maybe they are friends.

Then you laid your eyes on one of the most beautiful woman, no, human, you had ever seen and would probably never see again. She had short blonde hair in a bob. They seemed to be brunette at the root. She had beautiful chocolate honey eyes that glimmers with so much emotion and age well beyond her years, like she had experienced thousands of years before this moment. You also noticed her odd sense of style but you admired her boldness and it did look amazing on her. You decided she could only be described as sunshine and rainbows.

Then you noticed her hand And a familiar red string that was also glowing a beautiful subtle gold. Like millions of tiny golden stars circled around the string in a beautiful dance of love. Your eyes started to follow the string down and back to your own. She was your soulmate. That goddess that stood before you, was to be yours forever some day.

Then you looked into her hypnotic eyes before you remembered where you were and what situation you were in. And you realised everyone was staring at you for your previous action towards a spider.

"If you want to keep your job, I'd suggest you move out of the way silly girl!" Your boss grumbled in a threatening tone.

"Nope. You are about to hurt an innocent creature that is stuck and terrified. You built on top of landfill and didn't bother to check and thought of no consequences. This is your fault. Is this how you would treat a child that was a mistake after a one night stand or something? Would you shoot a child that had no choice?" You spoke with confidence yet more nerves now she was there listening to every word. When he didn't answer you shouted "Answer me! Would you shoot your mistake of a child?"

He glared at you. "This is different. This is an animal. A pest. It needs to be killed so more can't be born! I made my mistake and now I'm fixing it!" He bellowed just seconds before a shot was made from his gun. You had expected pain but instead you heard a horrible shriek from behind you.

You quickly turned around and petted her whilst whispering sweet words as she took her last breath. You stood up and made your way over to the murderer. You couldn't stand him and you were so tempted to take his gun and shoot him with it, but you didn't. With fire in your eyes and pure hatred, you slapped him hard enough to leave a mark and maybe a bruise as a reminder of his shitty choices. "You can't fire me because I fucking quit you arrogant dick! She had caused no harm to you or I and I'm sure if you would have sorted it sooner, so many more lives could have been saved as she only had humans because flies didn't fill her anymore! She was so kind and just so afraid. I hope you lose everything you pathetic sad sack of boiled shit! You are truest one of the lowest excuses for a human I have ever met and if we meet again please be very afraid, because next time, it won't just be a slap you have to worry about! It'll be your balls as I cut them off beacuse men like you shouldn't repopulate the planet! You horrid scum! I hope your empire fucking collapses!" You spoke with venom lacing every word. You were seething and boy did his face look punchable. Instead you walked away with your middle finger proudly being the last thing he sees as you walk out the normal doors.

Once you were outside, you sat in the steps and finally let out all the emotions. You cried so hard, over your loss of yet another job and a newly found friend. You screamed at him with a string of curses that would offend just about anybody. You suddenly felt somone sit at the side of you. You knew who it was when the string was burning more than ever before and yet you couldn't feel it over the pain your heart.

"You did brilliant back there. You chose, not just your job, but your life over a creature you barely even knew! If you wouldn't have jumped in when you did, I don't think her children would've had a chance to escape to my TARDIS because he's going on a hunt right now for the rest of them. Sure, you didn't save her but you saved so many more lives than you think. And I know each one is eternally grateful for what you did. I know I would be." Her words were certain and sympathetic. They seemed to calm you down instantly. Or maybe is was the way she talked that helped with her soft but strong voice and you knew you already couldn't get enough like it was the best drug ever. You could listen to her all day and yet, she had said very little to you. It was a strange effect but you liked it.

She fell into a silence for a while just keeping you company as you came to terms with had happened.

[the-melting-world]

The Empress | Side B: “Oats In the Water”

Art by @markmefistov

~ In which a humble gardener loses control…

The Trio Appearances: Kipling | Khleo | Ozy

Arcana LI Appearances: Asra | Nadia | Muriel 

Track Origins: “Oats In the Water” by Ben Howard

Not sure if this is the right track? The full album can be found here: The Empress

cw: blood, violent descriptions

~ 1.4k words

The very large portal that Kipling opened has just taken her best friend Khleo. Kipling and Ozy were too caught up in their argument to notice...

The rain was coming down harder. Kipling was tired of arguing with Ozy. She was getting wetter and wetter by the minute, and this conversation was going nowhere. If Ozy said one more thing about her so-called third eye, she was going to lose it. Ozy was still shouting at Kip when she finally decided to tune him out completely and go back to what she was doing with Khleo. Based on how the storm was growing, it didn’t seem like going back to the grotto was an option.

Kip looked over to where Khleo was standing. Only, he wasn’t standing there anymore. 

“Khleo?”

Not only was Khleo gone but so was the portal.

Kipling heard Ozy’s incredulous gasp before she registered the reality of the situation.

“No, no, no. Khleo. I told you to wait!”

Kipling turned slowly, her eyes burning in Ozy’s direction despite the rain. 

“Ozy.” Kipling bit at his name. “Where is Khleo? Where’s the jump off?”

For the first time, Ozy looked unsure. He never looked unsure when it came to the portals. He always had the answers, always knew what to do and how to do it. Now he was looking down at his hands, counting his fingers, muttering under his breath, glancing this way and that.

Kipling barely noticed that her hand that wore the gauntlet was slowly curling into a fist.

“Ozy. The jump!”

“We never made one!” He burst.

Kipling was squeezing her hand so tightly that it went numb. “So? Make one now.”

Ozy faltered. “I only know how to make exit portals after the entry portal is opened. You can’t create exits if the entrance no longer exists.”

“What? What do you mean you can’t...” Kip trailed off, disbelieving.

Ozy threw his hands up in the air. “I don’t know how to get Khleo out!” He could barely bring himself to look at Kipling. The way she backed up on trembling legs, eyes darting around the rocky shelf for something to hold her up – she was in shock.

“I told Khleo to wait,” Ozy groaned weakly, barely feeling the tropical storm beating down on them both. The water sluicing down his face, mixing in with his tears turned from warm to cold as the winds picked up.

Kip kept turning in circles, as if that monstrous portal would show up at any moment and bring back her friend.

“He’s gone? Khleo’s gone? You… Ozy, you…”

Her spinning was starting to make Ozy feel sick.

“I told him to wait, Kip! I told him to wait for me.” Ozy approached, determined to take Kip’s shoulders and steady her. “Khleo didn’t listen to me and neither did you, Kip. You didn’t lock the portal right! No one ever listens to me!”

Kipling reluctantly came to a halt, but she shoved Ozy’s hands away. It seemed her emotions had finally caught up to what was registering in her brain. Because now she was screaming. 

“That was my best friend, Ozy.” She raised up her gauntlet. “My best friend!”

Then there was only rage. Blood. The cracking of skin. Bone breaking. 

Now...Ozy was on his knees, trying to hold his face together. Begging. Painful sobs under the blanket of blood and disrupted cartilage.

Kip looked down at her hand that wore the gauntlet. Looked at the sticky evidence of violence that refused to go with the rain.

A storm so tiresome and overwhelming created its own vortex of wrath all around them.

A storm so great and yet… so empty.

***

Kipling woke up again covered in seawater. She wasn’t in her and Asra’s bedroom this time. She was in the reading room. There was standing water everywhere, like a small flood had passed through. All of their magical artifacts were drifting about, some getting ruined. 

Not again.

Kipling didn’t scream or sob or call out for Asra as she had done in the past. She had grown tired of putting her body through more stress. This unwelcome teleporting in her sleep became more terrifying with each new incident, but they also happened frequently enough to be normal at this point. 

Once Kipling’s disorientation subsided, she sat up on the reading table to see that she had disturbed Asra’s deck. All of the minor and major arcana were scattered about the table, damp and wilting under the weight of the saltwater.

Kip cursed as she tried to gather them up. Really, it was pointless. There was water everywhere.

“Kip! Kipling!”

Asra appeared before the doorway, white curls disheveled, the hem of his loose pants soaking as he picked his way across the flooded room, and concern streaking his features.

Kipling wished he didn’t have to worry about her all the time. To know that he wanted to help her and could do nothing about it really made her heart ache.

When Kip began to apologize, Asra cut her off with warm, unconditional embraces. Each one was peppered with soft encouragements and even softer kisses.

Kip wished she could lean into them and forget that this even happened. Flooding the room where they did their readings was not the end of the world. A little drying spell was all it took to set things right.

But Kip had ignored this problem too many times. She couldn’t control her primary magic. She couldn’t suppress it anymore. It was tied to her memories and ever since she and Asra had defeated the Devil, her memories hadn’t stopped making their way back to her.

***

Asra slid the cup of lemongrass tea across the table to Kip.

“You know,” he said quietly, “not all the cards got wet. There was one that, for whatever reason, remained untouched by the water.”

Kipling wasn’t ready to walk away from the subject of her memories. She stared down at the cup of hot tea, unable to bring herself to drink it.

“When I woke up from…” it was still hard to talk about it “the Lazaret… did this ever happen? The nightmares and the portals appearing out of nowhere?”

Asra sighed. “Only a few times, but yes. I didn’t know what to make of it. The more of your motor skills you recovered, the less your primary magic would flare up.”

Kip considered this. “That was probably because once I had more control over my body, I could suppress the magic better. The more I remember about my time in the Melting World, the more I can recall being taught how to keep my magic limited and weak until it eventually became second nature.”

Asra reached across the table and fed his fingers around Kipling’s wrist.

“But you got older, stronger. Your magic grew. It’s not something that’s meant to be suppressed. It never will be.”

Kip closed her eyes as a wave of anxiety suddenly caught her off guard. She flinched at the thought of a circular Door exploding into existence, interrupting her peace. Just an emotionless, bottomless stomach that took what she loved the most when she least expected it.

Why would Kip ever want to go willingly through one?

Asra squeezed her wrist. “Kip? Tell me what you’re thinking.”

“The recent nightmares I’ve been having have all been the same. But I realize now that it was a memory. There were other children there. They were my cousins… my friends.”

Asra didn’t interrupt. Kip stretched her mind to places she otherwise wouldn’t.

“Ozy.”

With Ozy she associated old books, older artifacts. Sharing silly rhymes that hid darker truths. Becoming masters of grey magic without the help of grownups. 

“And…”

Her memory flickered more sharply with the next one.

“Khleo.”

With Khleo it was all wildflowers and warm leisure. Sometimes midnight rendezvous to take out secrets and safely wonder at them.

Asra’s fingers pressed into her wrist. “Is that all?”

Kip looked at him. No. Not even close. Ozy and Khleo. There was so much behind both of them. So much emotion. Kip looked down at her tea. It was too early. Too soon to unpack all of that right now.

“That card that survived the flood,” Kip said, her lip quirking up in an effort to salvage some lightheartedness to get through the day, “which one was it?”

Asra, knowing Kip’s limits and respecting them, mirrored her grin, regarding her no longer with concern, but with genuine intrigue.

“The Empress.”

[lesserfandomappreciation]

Pregnant s/o (Rsat7d)

Merlin

Bless this idiot, it’s going to take him a minute to understand what his s/o has said. S/o will be in the living room curled up with a book or working in their office with a couple of nerves after having told a seemingly indifferent Merlin the news. Then they hear quickly approaching footsteps. And a slamming door. “You’re pregnant?!”

It’s 4:00pm. They told this moron first thing in the morning. Telling him anything when he’s in the library is pointless. 

He’s trying very cool to stay calm about this and seem enthused. Really, he is. It’s just all his anxieties and insecurities he pretends to not have are suddenly at his throat. He hasn’t a clue what to do. Send help.

All of the nervous maniac energy composing Merlin is transferred into a transformation none of the F7 thought they’d live to witness. The young, reckless lightning idiot becoming a responsible adult. Who mother hens people. And reminds them about medication. And food. And gets them to sit down while he takes care of everything for them. Hans is proud, the others are concerned. 

Some of this new-found need to mother-hen in a valid attempt to avoid overthinking whether or not he will be a good father is used to come up with useful spells. By first trimester’s end s/o has a small stack of spells to use when needed. The “cold pad” and “hot pad” spells are wonderful. The usefulness of the “vomit into a portable void” spell is debatable.

Jokes aside Merlin is worried about being a good father. This is a man with a lot of insecurities who worries about his own self worth- the idea that his child could dislike him haunts him. A lot of comfort is needed to chase away this fear. 

He is very protective about them and will deal with any threat with lightning. The house spiders quake in fear.

Arthur

His s/o could tell him at multiple points for many awesome reactions, but the best way is if they tell him in the middle of training. His standard “showing off because bae is watching” show is cut short as Arthur’s eyes widen. His sword, Excalibur, hits the ground with a thud. Next thing s/o knows, they’re in the air being spun in a straight-out-of-Disney twirl by an excited Arthur. 

All of F7 knows by day’s end. He’s telling everybody with a massive grin on his face and 0 shame. 

Arthur is a family man waiting to happen. Pull this idea out of my dead hands if you want, but you cannot convince me that this man hasn’t dreamt of having a loving partner and some tinies to spoil rotten with stories. He’s either been waiting to bring up the idea with them or the s/o is well-aware. 

Every single tiny milestone is met by the sweet puppy Arthur embodies. He’s just so happy and supportive, it’s kind of adorable. His s/o mentions the baby kicking their bladder and suddenly there’s a prince up against their belly desperately wanting to feel the baby kick too. 

One thing s/o is going to have to watch out for is expectations. Arthur’s parents seemed to have had a lot of those for him, and he’s probably internalized a lot of them too. It’s going to have to be up to his s/o to remind them that putting that many expectations on any person is a bad thing. The baby is going to be awesome. But let them be awesome on their own terms. 

Wants to carry them everywhere when their feet start to hurt. What if they get hurt going up the stairs? He’s strong, let him carry them for a bit dang it!

Jack

Jack is really a wild card here. Personally I see him being really connected to his own family, being a self-made prince who has worked hard to make sure his living family lives comfortably. On the other hand, this is a baby. A new person. That’s half him and half s/o. Wow. Wow.

Drops anything he is holding. Stunned still. It’s taking all of his processing power to debate the aforementioned two points on his conflicting views. S/o is going to be able to wave a hand in front of his eyes and have no response.

Make some tea. Read a book. Give him a hot minute to think. 

Out of the princes (besides Hans) Jack is going to be one of the few to really sit down with s/o and talk about what this means for them. He wants the kid, no worries there, but having a kid is a huge undertaking for anyone. How do they want to raise the child? Where (if his s/o is royalty too for example, which kingdom should they raise them in?) should they set up their life? Is Jack 2 an acceptable name? Is any jewel-related name acceptable? 

Jack’s s/o wins the pregnancy lotto in terms of access to feel-good supplies. Jack, the man, the prince, has facial masks in what appears to be a medieval-renaissance-inspired fantasy realm. From France. How he achieved this is a damned mystery. His whole bathroom is probably lined with the nicest creams and moisturizers money can buy. Jack’s not going to let his partner who is pregnant skip out on self-care. Absolutely not.

Jack is surprisingly good with helping his partner out emotionally at this time. He recognizes feelings and responds pretty well to them, so during the pregnancy and afterwards he is very supportive to their emotional needs. This is a very happy, but intense time and he is 100% there for them, through every high and every low.

Hans

Do not - I repeat - do not tell him when he is in the kitchen. Anything he’s cooking is going to burn, get stuck to the ceiling or is otherwise rendered inedible. Actually, any of those cute “bun in the oven” related announcements are not going to work on him. He’s going to be more upset at the concept of someone not cleaning his oven or risking burning a perfectly innocent loaf than anything else.  

He does, eventually, figure out that this was meant to tell him that the love of his life is pregnant and he’s very happy, but food safety is no joke. 

Hans’ reaction depends entirely on s/o’s reaction. How are they feeling about all this? As one of the only two emotionally intelligent people in the F7 (the other being Jack) he’s very responsive to his partner on this. Any fears or concerns they have are going to be his top priority. Though, once told that they are happy about, Hans lets out his own happiness and shows just how over the moon he is about this. 

Hans is a great guy. He really is. He’s also an unapologetic mom-friend whose knee-jerk reaction to someone he cares about going through stuff is to feed them. Unless his s/o puts their foot down hard (which they aren’t because hell-o growing people is hungry business) Hans is going to live in his kitchen. Great in that he’s willing to cook up their weirdest cravings even if he does judge them on it. Bad in that s/o might accidentally wind up feeling lonely because he’s over-focused on feeding/caring for them to actually be around them. One good conversation though and that’s nipped in the bud quick.

Loves his friends. Truly. Really. Has seen his friends do some truly stupid things. He’s not above standing behind his s/o and giving any member of the F7 the side-eye something fierce if they be acting up around his partner. 

Average

Average is an idiot. I don’t mean that insultingly, I’m just stating facts. This man could not pick up a subtle hint if it punched him in the face and rummaged his pockets for common sense. Unless his s/o tells him point blank to the face, he’s not going to get it. Cute messages/hints do not work on the man. Just tell him. Even then it’s going to take a second. 

Average’s reaction is really hard to pin down. During the events of the movie I do not see him having an s/o, at least not one he has a good relationship with and by the end of the movie all his potential character growth that could lead him to having a partner is implied to happen as he breaks his new-found curse. Growth that could lead his personality in several different directions. For the sake of not having to write down every single possibility I’m going to go ahead and say that he’s shocked. 

Regardless of personality growth I can say he’s going to be very demanding of everyone else around them. His partner, the love of his life, deserves only the very best. Now that they are with child he has to make sure they have the best for them and for his heir! None of this subpar stuff. They’re royalty, they deserve the best. If he’s not stopped the nursery is going to cost more than the GDP of a small country. 

He’s a little lost on a lot of pregnancy stuff really. Average isn’t an emotionally intelligent person, so he’s not great with comfort. He doesn’t do well with making runs for food (great at getting servants to fetch the strangest food combinations though), or with massaging, or with a lot of the physically demanding parts. The thing is? He knows. He knows that he’s lost on this. And it worries him. If he can’t do much now, how is he supposed to be a great father when the kid does show up? It’ll take some picking away at his walls, but eventually his s/o can talk to him on this and help him through it. They’re a team. They will get through this together. 

Don’t let him name the kid. “Superior” is not a good name for a child.

[carryonmywaywardcaptain]

Six Feet Apart

CarryOnCap’s Masterlist

Summary: Dean is fed up with a lot of things about the Coronavirus and safety guidelines, but he’s got a compelling reason to follow them. Sometimes it’s funny what a little faith can do.

Warnings: Obviously everything surrounding the ‘Rona, mentions of terminal illness, some angst, some feels but a positive ending

A/N: @rileynicole1967​ requested a Dean x reader fic based on “Six Feet Apart” by Alec Benjamin. This is definitely not what you asked for because it took a weird turn, BUT it was very therapeutic for me to write and I still managed to give it the ending you asked for. So I appreciate the request more than you know :) 

[IF you happen to be curious about the inspiration behind this:   I’ve been in a rough place for quite some time-- hence my Tumblr absence. Not that the self-disclosure is really needed, but my grandma is in really bad shape with her cancer and I’ve been trying to make things work with a guy who very well could have been “The One” under non-’Rona circumstances. I’ve been caught in a terrible, anxiety-inducing middle between obviously wanting to date and spend time with a guy who is out in the world everyday, but only being able to do so much without risking my grandma’s health. Aaand kind of mine too. Stupid faulty meatsuit haha. Anyway. Life has been so stinking heavy but this helped a little.]

Keys. 

Mask. 

Wallet. 

Phone.

It was routine now. Dean had gone through the process so many times that his body practically went on autopilot as he grabbed the items on his way out of the motel room he’d checked into late last night.

There were days he thought the guidelines were frustrating, inconvenient, and even a little pointless. He knew he’d probably get the virus at some point anyway and he’d made peace with that. Maybe he’d be able to fight it off just fine, maybe he wouldn’t. But the chances of that happening were like anything else in life. Even if the world had managed to come to an eerie halt, that didn’t mean it applied to people like him and Sam who still had work to do. 

Although he knew he had everything he needed, he checked his pockets again just to be sure. If it were up to him, truthfully he wouldn’t even bother with the mask or the “social distancing” crap. 

But it wasn’t just about him anymore. And he couldn’t afford to take any chances.

Oh, I miss you most at six feet apart when you’re

Right outside my window, but can’t ride inside my car

And it hurts to know just how lovely you are

And be too far away to hold, but close enough to break my heart

I miss your smile

Feels like miles

Six feet apart

Dean pulled into a worn concrete driveway in front of a modest white house. The front porch, which he’d become quite familiar with lately, contained two cast iron chairs and a matching table. He’d never been inside, couldn’t risk the possibility of bringing the virus into her home if he’d unknowingly come into contact with it. While he was constantly on the road chasing cases, she only left the house for treatments, appointments, and intermittent trips to the porch when he could make it back to visit.

He sighed heavily, putting the car in park before turning to glare at the offending bit of fabric on the leather seat beside him. He hated wearing that stupid mask. Hated the way the material trapped each breath, circulating the warm air right back to his face. He hated how stuffy and suffocating it felt. Sometimes it even made him feel a little claustrophobic.

But she’d sewn it herself and given it to him so he could stop using t-shirts, bandanas, and any other piece of clothing he could find in his trunk as a makeshift mask each time he came to see her. Sometimes he struggled to keep in mind what a thoughtful gesture it had been. That having to wear it might be annoying, but it really wasn’t a big deal in the grand scheme of things. And if a stupid piece of fabric had even a small chance of keeping them safe, then he could deal with it for a few hours, couldn’t he? 

A few hours, he thought sourly. Nowadays they were lucky if they could even get that much time together. But he’d take what he could get.

Reluctantly, he grabbed the mask and looped the elastic bands around each ear. After fussing with the edges, trying in vain to make it fit comfortably, he let his head fall back against the seat in frustration. As he examined the space above him, sinking deeper into his ruminating thoughts, he began to wonder how much longer he could keep this up and if all of this was really worth it.

So far, so far, but so close

Like a star out in the cosmos

Can’t touch the beauty I see

That’s how it feels at six feet

It had been a while since the last time he’d been able to visit her. When the front door opened and two women emerged, he climbed out of the car and walked straight to his usual spot on the overgrown lawn. As he got closer and appraised her condition, he tried to conceal his reaction.

She looked rough. Despite the fuzzy robe she wore, he could tell how feeble her figure was beneath. Her movements were slow and deliberate, making him suspect she may have fallen again recently. He clenched his jaw, recalling how she’d been too weak to pick herself up last time and had remained on the floor until someone came to check on her the next morning. 

With help from the other woman, who he assumed was a new caretaker, she settled into the cushions on one of the chairs. Her chest heaved and her eyes fell closed as she took a moment to recover from the exertion of her short walk. When her eyes finally fluttered open, they were a stark contrast against her sallow skin.  

“Long time, no see,” she teased, her voice a hoarse whisper.

Dean nodded. “How’re you feeling today?”

“Can’t complain.”

In a way, he knew she was lying. He had a feeling she was having a rough day, but she was never one to complain. He had quickly learned that no matter what was going on in her life, she was the kind of person who worried about everyone else and put their well-being before her own. He wondered what kind of update the doctor had given her this time, but he was too afraid to ask.

“It’s so good to see you.”

Her gentle admission shook him from his thoughts. The edges of her eyes crinkled and he could just imagine the smile she wore beneath her mask. 

Space and time are interwoven

Well, at least that’s what we’re told

When I was young, I was suspicious, but it’s true

Time sticks like glue

I feel so blue

Here missing you

So I think I’ll build a time machine and go back to a time

When we didn’t need to measure six feet on the ground

When I came around

That’s not allowed

I can’t go back now

He’d never really been the relationship type. He hadn’t been looking for anything when their paths had first crossed, but there was something about her that had captured his interest. The more they’d gotten to know one another, the more he learned just how much they had in common. 

It had made him feel uneasy at first-- how easy she was for him to talk to. She rarely pressed him on anything and she had a way of making him feel comfortable even with the hardest conversations. They’d shared their life stories; their favorite memories, biggest letdowns, family dramas, and everything in between. After all of the monsters they’d each faced in their lives...this one was the deadliest and ugliest he’d ever had to face. And of all the people in the world who didn’t deserve to go through something like this, she topped the list.

Okay, sure, no one really deserved a death sentence. But didn’t it always make it worse that bad things always seemed to happen to good people? 

Dean had beaten leviathans and reapers. He’d taken out loads of vampires, ghouls, and ghosts. He’d ganked more angel and demon douchebags than he could count. But when he had asked her to let him help-- when he’d mentioned what Cas could do or offered to work with Sam to find a spell that might heal her-- she politely declined. She had simply thanked him and explained that it wouldn’t be fair to everyone else fighting for their lives like she was. That her life was in no way more important than anyone else’s. She’d told Dean sometimes these things just happen and have a little faith, you never know.

Dean had of course tried to argue, but he couldn’t quite put into words just how special she was. That she didn’t deserve this and he’d give anything to change their circumstances. At one point he’d even considered tracking down a crossroads demon and making a deal to switch places with her, but he knew she wouldn’t have wanted that. 

No matter how many times he tried to bring it up or how much he wished he could fight this one for her, there was nothing he could do to fight the monster slowly killing her from the inside out.

So, I miss you most at six feet apart when you’re

Right outside my window, but can’t ride inside my car

And it hurts to know just how lovely you are

And be too far away to hold, but close enough to break my heart

I miss your smile

Feels like miles

Six feet apart

It seemed like there was never enough time. They’d talked all afternoon and neither one of them were ready to say goodbye but, when she suddenly shivered, he knew it was time for him to leave. It wasn’t cold outside by any means, but it took a lot more to keep her warm these days.

He couldn’t help but linger a little longer, admiring her from where he still sat in the grass. Sometimes just being in her presence helped ease a little of the hopelessness he always seemed to grapple with. It was starting to take a toll on him-- not knowing if things would ever get better or if the world would ever return to some sense of normalcy.

What he wanted more than anything was to walk right up on the porch and wrap his arms around her. It didn’t make sense how much he ached to just be near her. He’d never admit it out loud, but it was almost physically painful how much he wanted to reach out and touch her-- to hug her, kiss her, or even see her smile without their stupid masks.

But she was barely holding on and he knew her body was fighting every moment of the day just to keep her alive. 

He hated wearing his mask. He hated how he could be so close to her and still feel so far away. He hated not being able to hold her and he hated that there didn’t seem to be an end or a solution in sight for the state of the world at the moment. He hated that she was dying and there was nothing he could do about it. And he especially hated the fact that the universe had to have a pretty damn cruel sense of humor to let him meet someone like her in a time like this. Even though he was fed up with feeling like he was stuck in another one of Gabriel’s twisted, incessant pranks...the thought of walking away and not having her in his life at all was far worse. 

So he took it one day at a time. He knew there was a chance he might get the virus at some point and usually he was ready to accept whatever cards fate dealt him. Maybe he’d be able to fight it off, maybe he wouldn’t. But she wouldn’t be able to. And he knew if he slipped up, if he somehow managed to pass it along, that that would be the end for her.

He hated a lot of things lately and he wasn’t sure if they’d ever really go away. But there wasn’t a doubt in his mind that every single inconvenience and moment of frustration was worth it for him to be able to spend time with her-- even six feet apart.

***

Dean was staring up at the ceiling, unable to fall back asleep. The nightmares didn’t come as often anymore but, when they did...well, they were no walk in the park. He let out a sharp breath, squeezing his eyes shut as he pushed the images of her sunken face from his mind.

The movement had jostled her, and he hugged her closer when she began to stir. He placed a gentle kiss on top of her head and she hummed softly as she nestled further into his chest.

When they were in the thick of it, it had been so hard to see a way out. To believe they’d be okay or ever have a shot at actually being together. To believe there would be an end to the virus or that there was any chance she could get better. 

Sometimes those dark days, when all hope seemed lost, felt like nothing more than a distant nightmare. But Dean refused to let himself forget. Maybe it was morbid, but every moment with her felt a little bit sweeter when he reminded himself of how grim those days had been and of everything they’d had to overcome. When he remembered everything she’d had to endure.

It was honestly a miracle that he was lucky enough to hold her in his arms like this. Everyone had asked him on numerous occasions if he’d done something, but even he didn’t have an explanation. He really didn’t care whether it was faith or something supernatural or even just one of life’s unexplained mysteries-- all that mattered was that she was healthy and alive. 

So he kept the memories of those days close and promised himself he’d never take the time he had with her for granted. They had made it through one of the darkest times in either of their lives and he had no doubt they’d face more in the future. But, with her by his side, he had faith they’d find a way to make it through those days too.

So far, so far, but so close

Like a star out in the cosmos

Can’t touch the beauty I see

That’s how it all feels to me

So far, so far, but so close

Like a star out in the cosmos

Can’t touch the beauty I see

That’s how it feels at six feet

CarryOnCap Crew (Forevers):

@abswritesfandoms​  @amanda-teaches​  @cosicas-cuquis​  @crist1216​  @droidyouseek​  @emoryhemsworth​  @ericaprice2008​  @flawless-disaster​  @janeyboo​  @jenn0755​  @ksgeekgirl​  @maresmiley​  @memyselfandmaddox​  @notyourtypicalrose​  @randomparanoid​  @rynabarnesrogers​  @sandlee44​  @scarletsoldierrr​  @shann-the-artist-moon​  @sheerioasteroidpanda​  @shynara51​  @someday-when-you-leave-me​ @star-spangled-man-with-a-plan​  @thisismysecrethappyplace​  @torntaltos​  @waywardbaby​  @waywardrose13​  @weebid​  @whimsicalrobots​  @wintersoldierbaby​  @wintersoldierissucharide  @yesfanficsaremylife​

Cap’s SPN Crew:

@adoptdontshoppets​  @akshi8278​  @alexwinchester23​  @deangirl7695​  @dean-winchesters-bacon​  @fandomoniumflurry​  @pisces-cutie​  @supernaturalenchanted​  @superromijn​  @waywardnerd67​  @x-waywardaf-x​

[serenlyss]

Parting Promise

Fandom: The Owl House Rating: G Relationships: lumity Summary: Summer is over, and it's time for Luz to go home. Distressed over the uncertainty of Luz's return, Amity asks her to make a promise... Crossposted to AO3: Parting Promise

So uuhh that new episode huh? I have a lot of thoughts about AOAW, some of which I'm planning more fics around, but for now, have some angst inspired by @frankielucky‘s comic. Be sure to give them and their incredible art some love!

---

Luz sucks in a deep breath as she stands in front of the glowing portal of a door Eda had summoned for her, then lets it out in a single, drawn-out exhale. It stands wide open, revealing a seemingly eternal, softly glowing white void. Nervously, she crosses and uncrosses her fingers to let out some of her anxious energy. Although Luz knows what lays behind it, her inability to see past the silvery veil of light only worsens her anxiety about going home. She’s nervous beyond reason to see her mother again, and to return to the world where she had been shunned. What will her mother say? How will she react, when Luz finally tells her the truth of where she’s been all summer? Will she be angry? Disappointed? The two of them have had their fair share of arguments, but the thought of getting into a serious fight with her mother is… nerve-wracking, to say the least.

She’s already said goodbye. She’d spent the last few days letting everyone know where she’s going and that she may not be returning, but her closest friends had come to see her off personally. They hadn’t come with her to the door; Luz had insisted they not accompany her, and had instead parted with them back at the Owl House. Willow and Gus had come, of course, as had Amity.

Amity. In just about every way, she is Luz’s closest friend, and saying goodbye to her had been the hardest--even harder than with Eda. She’d said her farewells while fighting back tears, and she’d been able to tell that Amity was doing the same when she’d left. Just thinking about it makes Luz’s throat tighten up a little, a constrictive force that causes her breathing to hitch against her will. She swallows back the pit of remorse that forms in her stomach. There’s no doubt in her mind that Amity is the person she’ll miss the most once she’s back in the human world.

Briefly, she reflects on how close the two of them have gotten over the months Luz had spent at the Boiling Isles. Eda had made constant jokes about how inseparable they’d become, and Luz could tell by the knowing looks that she’d occasionally sent her way that she’d picked up on her more… romantic feelings. She wonders if Amity had ever noticed. She wonders if Amity would even be receptive of her silly crush. Not that it makes much of a difference at this point. Luz is going home, back to her real family, to her real life. Amity will go back to hers, the way things were always meant to be. Even if it hurts. Even if it feels wrong. Even if Luz really, really doesn’t want to say goodbye.

She sighs, turning her gaze downward. If there’s anything she regrets, it’s not telling Amity how she really feels. Even if she knows it will be easier this way, it still lingers in her mind, the one piece of business she’s unable to wrap up before she goes. Part of her hopes Amity doesn’t feel sad over this for too long, while the other part of her loathes the idea of the two of them drifting apart. She really hopes this isn’t the last time she’ll ever get to see her.

There’s still a chance, of course. A chance that her mother will see things the way Luz does, that she’ll finally understand why summer camp would have been so torturous. Why Luz feels so much more at home at the Owl House than she’d ever felt in her own house. But there’s a bigger chance that she’ll be shut down immediately and forced back into her normal, boring, sad life, where her interests are pushed aside as childish, and fitting in is all that matters.

She shakes her head. If she dwells on these thoughts for too long, she’ll chicken out and retreat back to the Owl House, where she’s safe, and nothing will be fixed. No, she can’t back out now. Her mother is expecting her. There are things she needs to work out as soon as possible. She steels her nerve, tightening her grip on the strap of her duffel bag, and takes a step toward the bright white void.

“Luz!”

She freezes in her tracks as Amity’s familiar voice calls out to her, her entire body tensing in surprise and dread. Immediately, she feels her emotions start to dredge themselves up again. Why? Why had she come, after Luz had asked her not to? Why did she feel the need to make this as hard as she could? She takes a shaky breath, turning to face her friend and forcing a small smile onto her face. “Amity, you were supposed to stay with Eda,” she chides gently, but her body subconsciously shies away, as though ashamed.

But Amity doesn’t pause in her approach. Luz’s eyes widen in surprise when Amity runs straight into her, wrapping her up in a tight hug and hiding her face in Luz’s shoulder. “I don’t care,” she says shakily, and it’s at this point that Luz registers the tears in her friend’s eyes. Is Amity… crying? “I-I don’t want you to go. I don’t want you to leave me.”

Luz has never seen Amity break down like this, and she would never, in a hundred years, expect this to happen over her, of all people. It takes her a few seconds, but she finally remembers to move her arms, wrapping them around Amity in return and pulling her close. “Hey, it’s not going to be forever,” she reminds her, letting one hand travel up to smooth down Amity’s hair. “At least, I hope not. I just need to clear things up with my mom. She… she’ll understand. Eventually.”

Amity shakes her head against Luz’s shoulder. “You don’t know that,” she insists, her voice wavering and cracking. She’s leaving wet patches on the shoulder of Luz’s hoodie. “You have to come back, okay? It’ll be so lonely with you gone…”

Luz’s heart breaks for Amity. She knows all too well what it’s like to feel alone, to have no one to turn to and no one to confide in. But Amity does have people she can trust, now, even with Luz gone. “It’ll be okay. You won’t be alone, you’ll have Eda, and Willow, and Gus, and Ed and Em. I know your siblings can be pretty obnoxious sometimes, but they still love you,” she says, gently pulling Amity out of the embrace so she can talk to her face to face. “You have so many good friends now that you can go to if you’re in trouble.” She breaks eye contact with Amity, glancing down at the ground sadly. “You don’t really need me anymore, you know? You’ll be fine, I know you will.”

Amity goes quiet, and when Luz looks back up at her friend, her eyes are filled with shifting emotions. Shock, denial, sadness, and finally, anger. “Don’t need you? What are you talking about, you idiot?” she demands. “Of course I need you, you’re my best friend! How could you say that? Aren’t you sad?”

Luz backpedals immediately. “I am sad, I just…” She bites her lip and averts her gaze from Amity’s, trailing off. “I don’t know how my mom is going to react to… all of this. I’m going to do my best, and I really hope that I won’t have to be away for long, but I just don’t know. I don’t know anything.” The reality of the situation is really starting to get to her, now. She can feel the tears starting to come, pooling at the corners of her eyes. She blinks rapidly, willing them to disappear, but it’s pointless.

Amity grasps Luz by both shoulders, prompting her to meet her gaze once more. She looks sad, and scared, and helpless--three emotions that Luz rarely gets to see come from her friend. “Promise me,” she commands, her voice firm and authoritative despite her obvious state of distress. Her fingers shake as they curl into the fabric of Luz’s hoodie. “Promise me that you’ll come back.”

Luz hesitates. She knows better than to make a promise she may not be able to keep, even though she really, really wants to. She opens her mouth to say as much, then pauses. It’s as though a bulb lights up in her head, a spark of inspiration. It’s a half-baked ploy, and probably pretty stupid to make on impulse like this, but it’s the only way she can think of conveying her intentions to Amity. “Give me a minute,” she says, then swiftly pulls off her duffel bag and lets it fall to the ground.

Amity watches Luz in confusion as she rifles through the contents of the bag and produces a pen. She clicks it open, tongue peeking out of the corner of her mouth, and begins to hurriedly scribble on her palm.

“What are you doing?” Amity asks, unable to see what Luz is drawing from her angle.

Luz has never had to seriously use this spell before. Eda had taught it to her after the Covention, to prevent getting cheated like she had during her very first witch’s duel, but it had been a purely precautionary measure, so that Luz could know how the spell works and how to avoid it should she ever need to. Now, it comes in handy for the first time. She tucks the pen away into her bag and straightens up onto her feet again, holding out her hand. “Ask me again,” she says, drawing her shoulders back confidently in a show of her determination.

Amity blinks, confused. She still can’t see what Luz has drawn, but she obliges nonetheless. “Please, Luz. Promise me that you’ll come back,” she repeats, her voice soft and vulnerable.

Luz feels the tears come freely now, but this time she’s overwhelmed not by sadness, but by warmth. When Amity reaches out and takes her hand, she feels a rush of potent, blind affection for her, for the trust they share. A ring of purple draws itself around their clasped hands.

“It’s an oath,” Luz murmurs, voice quivering.

The light from the everlasting oath casts Amity’s dumbfounded face in shades of pastel purple, and Luz catches the glint of it reflecting off her yellow eyes as she stares back at her, speechless. “Luz…”

But Luz cuts her off, firmly stating, “I will be back, I promise. Even if I have to go against my mom’s wishes, I’ll come back. The Boiling Isles is my home now. I have more of a connection to this place than I do to the house I grew up in. I promise you, Amity, I won’t be gone for long.”

A watery smile comes to Amity’s face, and she tugs Luz into another tight hug. She shifts her grip on Luz’s hand, intertwining their fingers together while maintaining the contact from Luz’s spell. “You better not be,” she replies. “Who will go to Grom with me next year if my fearless champion is missing in action?”

It’s meant to be a joke—Luz knows it is—but it still makes her face flame. “Well, then I’ll make sure to be back by then,” she banters back, and revels in the way Amity’s shy smile makes her heart swell with fondness.

Feeling brave and a little drunk on her giddiness, Luz leans forward and presses her lips against Amity’s forehead in a brief kiss. “Don’t miss me too much, ‘kay? And make sure to text me. Cross-dimensional cell signal is a blessing I do not intend to waste,” she says. 

When she pulls back, Amity’s face is flushed bright pink. Luz can’t help but feel somehow proud that she’s able to goad such a reaction out of her crush. “O-Okay,” she replies lamely. The awkwardness of it only makes Luz’s affection grow. She wonders if Amity knows just how adorable she can be when she lets herself be honest like this.

Luz pulls her hand out of Amity’s grasp. The eternal oath’s light fades along with the contact, and for a moment she feels disappointed, but she quickly pushes that aside. There will be plenty of time to hold Amity’s hand once I’m back for good, she reminds herself, if only to give herself a little boost of confidence for what lay ahead. She picks up her duffel bag and slings it back over her shoulders, then gives Amity the biggest, goofiest smile she can muster. “Well, I’m off! Tell Eda to lock the door behind me.”

Amity wraps one arm around her middle, raising the other up in a tiny wave. “Okay, I’ll do that,” she replies, still teary-eyed, but with a smile on her face.

Luz gives a nod of approval, stepping one foot over the door’s threshold. “I’ll see you soon, Amity. That’s a promise,” she says, her last parting words, and steps fully through the portal, tugging the door shut behind her.

[twstdreams]

Lion’s Hunt

Sorry for taking so long anon! Here is part 2 to Lion’s Chase if you chose option B!

Recap: @yandere-wishes​ “Scenario with Leona in which the reader (female) looks up to him as a big brother and is very close to him, but he has a crush on her and really wants to date her.”

After the sibling incident, you’d found it hard to approach Leona. Worry festered inside you and it grew in size each day as you felt something was off. At first glance, Leona looked the same as ever, confident grin glued to his face with an air of arrogance. However, you noticed when his eyes landed on you, they were briefly clouded with an emotion you couldn’t quite place. Maybe it was hate that flickered in his eyes, disappointment that glazed is gaze, or embers of anger that resided in those green eyes, you weren’t sure. At this point, you weren’t even sure if it was really there or if your stress had caused you to hallucinate.

“You should work on your roar,” taunted you as the sentence played on repeat inside your mind. Should you have confronted him after all? Anything seemed better than this guessing game you were surely losing. It felt like a hopeless puzzle and you kept trying to push the wrong pieces together.

Why was Leona so upset? Did he hate his siblings? Did he think it was presumptuous of you to say that you were like siblings? No, you were sure you were close to Leona. He let you get away with the most things, and he rarely put in the effort with anything else the way he did with you. You knew he played it off as casual boredom but there’s no way the two of you would spend as much time as you did together if he didn’t try. Yet now, the target of his ire, you felt uncertain. Maybe you didn’t know Leona that well. Maybe to him, you were a source of entertainment rather than someone he treasured.

Choose to:

a) Ask Ruggie for advice

b) Go outside to get some fresh air

A) Ask Ruggie for advice

You weren’t sure you were ready to face Leona again. You didn’t even know if you wanted to. If you just never brought up siblings again, would that be okay? You wouldn’t even be really surprised if Leona acted like nothing had happened, too lazy to bother to acknowledge the entire event. Yet, you knew even If he could brush it off that you had to know.

Leona’s unexpected outburst of displeasure seeded worry and curiosity. What had upset Leona? Did you break some unwritten rule or did this hint at some hidden past? The only issue was how to find out. That kind of information wasn’t on the internet and you doubted Leona would easily open up. You could already imagine it, Leona telling you that a little herbivore like you shouldn’t go sniffing around like that or you’d get your nose bitten off.

Your brain was going to implode. No matter how many times you went over the events, you couldn’t figure it out. What set off Leona? You could almost feel your brain cells melting. This was pointless. So, you went to the only other person you knew that would have an inkling of what Leona’s thoughts could be.

Given how close you and Leona were, you and Ruggie had met several times before, both of you used to Leona pushing off various responsibilities and chores onto you two. You explained your predicament but Ruggie’s amused expression did little to ease your anxiety.

“I’m not a snitch, you know that.” You groaned. This was what you were afraid.

“You’re not snitching!” you insisted, “You’re just letting me know how I messed up!”

“Please!” you pleaded, “Ugh Leona’s either gonna make fun of me or call me stupid, and you know that.” An expression you can’t quite decipher crossed Ruggie’s face briefly. Soon after, a smile wriggled its way onto his face.

“We’re both Leona’s friends but we’re different,” he explained as if that statement clarified anything.

“Different?” you echoed. Obviously, you were two distinct people, but you had a feeling that wasn’t what Ruggie was referring to.

“You’re a special friend,” he added emphasizing the word friend. An unfamiliar glimmer twinkled in his eye. You wondered If you glared long enough, he’d finally spell it out for you.

“Wait, you don’t mean, like…,” you could barely get the words out, but you persevered, “Romantically?” Ruggie’s grin remained but before you can ask for clarification, the distinct sound of something shattering rings through the air. You both let out a dramatic sigh before Ruggie ran off to break up whatever fight had broken out.

Still, while you were grateful Ruggie told you instead of finding out in some explosive or embarrassing manner, you were still unsure. You were special to Leona but was he special to you in the same way?

Ruggie on the hand was thoroughly amused when he glanced back at you, panic and worry expressed through a furrowed brow and lips pressed into a thin line. Leona’s newest weakness and you didn’t even know it yet. He’d definitely tuck away that piece of information away for safekeeping.

B) Go outside for some fresh air

Taking a walk outside was nice, but you found yourself simply pacing outside rather than inside. You lay down a patch of grass while staring at the swirling clouds.

“Okay, let’s think about this logically,” you told the fluffy cloud, “Leona got upset when I brought up siblings. Maybe he hates his siblings? That could be why got mad. Or! He’s super close to his siblings, and he doesn’t like people saying he’s like an older brother when he’s not close to them.”

You groaned and placed an arm over your eyes to shield them from the sun. The cloud made no judgements but offered no advice. “Maybe he thought it was an insult or something? Like he’s not independent? Or that he’s obliged to help me out?”

“Is he really that petty?” you asked the sky, “Leona never gets upset over stuff like this! I didn’t interrupt his nap, I didn’t go to some forbidden area, and I definitely didn’t’ break a rule! There’s no way there’s a rule about compliments. I even went to get him that stupid snack!”

“Not the smartest one, huh?” a dreadfully familiar voice asked as bright green eyes peered down at you and obscured your view of the sky. You let out a shriek when you realized Leona was right above you. He cocked an eyebrow up as an amused grin grew on his face. You immediately stood up and put space between the two of you.

“What? I! You! I just, I mean,” you could barely form a sentence as your mind raced to comprehend the situation. How long had Leona been there? There was no way he heard everything, right?  What was Leona even doing here? Leona never napped around here, his favourite place to nap was his room or under a tall tree at the outskirts of the Savanaclaw dorm.

“Cat got your tongue?” he teased. It was so unfair that you were a sputtering mess caught by surprise and Leona was so collected with confidence radiating off him.

“No!” you insisted, “It’s just, well, you.” You clenched your fist as you tried to gather the courage to ask Leona what was really on your mind.

“Me?” he repeated. His smirk remained on his face, but it didn’t quite reach his eyes.

“Yes, you!” Leona had definitely heard everything you had said, you might as well let it all out. You took in a deep breath, but you could feel your frustration bubbling. Why was he acting so relaxed like nothing had happened?

“I don’t know why you were upset before. And you were upset! You always say yes to naps, but that day you said no, so I, I mean I’m pretty sure,” you wanted to smack your forehead, god why as it so hard to articulate your feelings? You pressed on, “I just don’t want you to be mad. I like being close. I like being friends.”

Your face was basically on fire at this point, redder than the sun ever made it. The palpable silence made your beating heart sound even louder in your ears. Your eyes were glued to the ground. Was Leona on the verge of laughing? Maybe he’d make fun of you for worrying so much over nothing. Call you a skittish prey and move on.

“Friends,” he repeated, voice laced with disdain.

“Wh, why? Aren’t we at least friends?” you rebutted but your voice wavered. Here it was, he was going to tell you that you weren’t even friends, that you were some delusional loser, and he was just being nice because that’s what dorm leaders do.

“Tch, I suppose it’s too much for an herbivore like you to understand,” he remarked. Your eyes shot up until they met his, confusion swirling in yours while annoyance painted his.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” you asked. The damage had already been done; you might as well get an answer from it.

“I don’t need more siblings or friends.”

Oh.

Oh.

“What?” you yelped, “You like me?” The thought hadn’t even entered your brain, not once, but suddenly it was the reality before you.

He huffed and then asked, “Why, do you need to go talk to a tree to sort through your feelings?”

“No!” you immediately snapped, “I mean, well, not a tree, but I really didn’t see this coming. Can, can you give me a bit of time?”

“You want me to wait?” he asked incredulously.

“I know you’ve probably waited already for, wow, probably for a while, but please I need this,” you pleaded. You heard a scoff, so you added, “Otherwise, it’s not fair! You got to know for so long, but I just found out!”

“Life’s not fair.” His lazy smile didn’t quite reach his piercing green eyes. You gulped. This was not how you were hoping for this debacle to progress.

“Now?” you asked tentatively.

“I’ve waited long enough for you little herbivore,” he insisted. Your heart raced. Did you know? Maybe. Maybe not. Leona took a step forward and invaded your personal space. You felt strangely like a prey about to be caught by its predator. Seconds passed and you didn’t have many left.

This time, instead of clouds or pillows or trees, you asked yourself. Did you like Leona?

[suhfleur]

dear, my dear • jaebeom (3/4)

• pairing: soulmate!jaebeom x reader

• genre: romance, angst, smut

• warnings: cursing, sexual content

• word count: 3.3k

summary: in a world where a touch can lock the doors of the heart, his voice opened the doors to your soul as he filled it with joy.

a/n: i was just listening to dear, my dear, now im emotional. anyways. hope you guys enjoy, as usual forgive if there’s typos i’m too lazy to review.

• • •

The next day, anxiety had become your last name. Nothing else lurked in your head but "Jaebeom, Jaebeom, Jaebeom".

Now, he had more than a nickname, more than an artistic name. His name sounded like a sea of ​​relief to you, it confirmed that it was really real and you had spent a lot of time putting yourself in dark places, thinking absurd things, you wasted too much time. Nothing else mattered now. Not even the fact that he is predestined to someone else and so are you. Nothing could break that absurd bond that you felt with him, and only with him.

You woke up anxious, agitated, the sun had barely set and you already thought to yourself "oh, what a beautiful day", nothing would be enough to take away your good mood. Not even the absurdly crowded and noisy subway station.

Your headphones were turned up loud enough, you were just absorbed by Jaebeom's voice, with a smile on your face. A smile that never left your face, since yesterday.

You were so out of orbit that you didn't even hear it when somebody called your name, you just realized what was going on around you when someone put a hand on your shoulder, making you turn around quickly, making you face the most babiest smile ever; of LA and Seoul.

"Mark!" You exclaimed excitedly, throwing your arms around the American's broad shoulders. He looked a little bit different, dyed his hair in a bright red color, wearing sweats, as usual.

"Hey, long time no see!" He replied, laughing and tightening his arms around your waist as he swirled you in the air, trying not to hit anyone who passed by. As soon as he released you, you slapped him hard on his right arm. "Hey!"

"Don’t you 'hey' me, Mark Tuan. You said you were only going to spend 2 weeks in Thailand, why the hell did you stay there for more than 3 months? Huh? And why didn't you tell me you were coming back? I spoke to you yesterday!" You asked sulkily, putting your hands on your hips, in your best angry-mom pose.

"Look, I had no intention of staying there for so long either, ok? But you know... My soulmate is from Thailand and I didn't want to be without her, but I also didn't want to leave Korea and everything I built these last 7 years, so, I spent these months trying to bring her here... And I did it. " He informed, rubbing the back of his neck, while his cheeks were flushed. "And I wanted to surprise you, I just didn't think I would meet you here on the subway..."

"What? And why didn't you say anything to me? I hate you so much! I will finally meet her. I have to meet her, because even though Yaya sounds like a loving person, just talking to her on the phone doesn't confirm my blessing, ok? You will only marry with my permission, I’m not going to give you away just because, not even because she’s your soulmate. She has to pass the test." You said, jokingly, hugging your longtime friend again. You missed this. "What train are you going to take?"

"Actually, I'm just waiting for a friend of mine to get off at the station... And now, since my plan to surprise you with my return didn't go very well, how about we go out tonight and celebrate?" He asked, hugging her head against his chest. "Me, my Yaya, Jaehyun, Sunny and you, how about it?"

"I... I meeting with somebody today, I don't know if I can go..." You answered feeling a little guilty.

"Can't you meet that person a little later?" Mark asked with a fake sad look.

"What time do you want to make this meeting?" You asked rolling your eyes, feeling defeated.

"You and Sunny leave work around 5pm, right?" You nodded. "So, let's get together at Jaehyun's apartment, which is very close by and, if you don't want to, you can stay there for just a few minutes... But if you also want, you can call this 'person' to stay there with us." He replied, with a suggestive look, arching his eyebrows.

"I don't know if... the person is going to want to, you know? It's the first time we've seen each other in person. But, I promise I'll come and stay with you for a while." You responded, blushing.

"I think it's really good for you to actually show up, because I want to know more about this guy that you never really explained anything to me, okay?" Mark's look was emanating an order and you no other option but to say ‘yes’ to that.

"Ok, sir." You saluted, making him laugh.

The unmistakable noise of your train arriving made you get out of that bubble with Mark. You had to say goodbye for now.

"Okay, I have to go now, Markeu. See you later." You opened your arms one last time, hugging him tightly, receiving a simple kiss on your forehead.

"Be careful, okay? See you later." He said, stroking your back quickly, as you watched the train doors open and you said goodbye to him, walking backwards towards the door.

And it all happened again.

As you turned to pass the train door, someone who was leaving ran into your arm and made the coat you carried in your hand fall. When you were about to bend down to pick it up, someone else did it first, reaching out to you. You gaze went up from the floor to that person, and you saw him.

The subway guy.

And he was stunning. He was like that everyday, but man, today it was something else, you thought. He had a new piercing, which was just placed under his eye. He was so close that you could quickly appreciate his beauty and the two small moles below his left eyebrow.

Breathtaking.

You said a small and very low 'thank you', hoping that he would’ve listened, while taking your coat from his hands and that's when your body collapsed for the second time that week. When you took the coat, your fingers lightly touched the back of his hand and you felt it again. 

Your chest throbbed, shivers ran down your spine and the feeling of an absurd happiness got through your chest. Felt like your heart was screaming again, and you were static.

Of all people that could possibly be your soulmate, you were comically doomed to the guy you watched every Thursday.

He didn't seem so surprised by that feeling, he just looked at you cryptically while you stood stupidly still, until someone pushed you into the train and you saw the doors close in front of your face, again.

His eyes never left you, until the train started to move and you lost sight of him.

It felt worse than the first time because now, he had a face. You knew who your soulmate was, finally, and you didn't know how you were going to deal with that. That information ended up with everything you thought you knew, with everything you thought you could handle.

You didn't know how to deal with that. You definitely didn't.

Now, more than ever, it was all real. And it was happening to you. Like it or not, you actually don’t know how you feel about this.

And those thoughts followed you all day, without you being able to breathe for a second without thinking "it's him". Your head hurt. And the day that you thought it couldn't be spoiled, was troubled and distant. Your cell phone was forgotten again, until the moment you stopped to eat and remembered that you needed to talk to def.

When you took your phone out of the pocket, you saw messages from him.

[07:07 am] def: i’m still see you today, right?

[07:07 am] def: tell me you haven't changed your mind, please...

[07:07 am] def: i really need to see you.

[10:01 am] loftv: Of course we will see each other, I just think I’ll meet you a little later than agreed. I have to do something before that.

You thought about talking about what happened with you, but it was pointless. It shouldn’t matter to you, neither to him.

[10:02 am] loftv: Did something happen? You look strange. Idk.

[10:05 am] def: a strange thing happened today that i don't want to talk about. it doesn't matter to me. none of that matters.

[10:06 am] def: I'm fine.

[10:07 am] loftv: So, why didn't you say good morning? ):

[10:08 am] loftv: Uneducated prick! *insert angry emojis here, because I don't feel like using them*

[10:10 am] def: forgive me, madam of the valley. to make up for my lack of education and professionalism, here's a series of 'good mornings' in different languages.

[10:10 am] def: 1 - good morning.

[10:10 am] def: 2 - buenos dias.

[10:11 am] def: 3 - bonjour.

[10:12 am] def: 4 - buongiorno.

[10:13 am] def: 5 - *insert here ‘good morning’ in russian because it’s really hard and i don’t know how it is spelled*

You laughed at his nonsense. And that part of the day relieved your confused chest. At the end of the day, he was the only one for you. And anxiety knocked on your door once again. The day went by so slowly that you keep looking at your watch every 15 minutes. When it was finally time to leave, you were almost jumping of joy.

"Take it easy, Dorothy. The road to OZ is almost there." Sunny said sarcastically.

"I just want to do this soon, to meet with him." You said, opening her car door and getting in.

"Speaking like that, you look like you hate your friends." Sunny replied pretending to be hurt, placing her hand on her chest, fake crying, while starting the car.

"Shut up, actress. I'm just really looking forward to seeing him." You answered, looking out the car window, which was now moving, thinking about how you could hardly wait for that moment.

Arriving at Jaehyun's apartment, Mark was already there, talking to someone on the phone.

"Come on, man. It's only a few minutes, then you can go and do what you want!" Mark insisted to the person on the other end of the line. "I swear, if you want to stay just 10 minutes, no problem, but just show up... Okay. I'll be waiting for you." He said at last, putting his cell phone away and giving you a big smile. "Here you are, my little sweet pie full of poison." He said childishly, squeezing your cheeks.

"Do you want to die?" You questioned, punching him in the arm.

"Ouch! Why do you always want to kill me? I'm just being sweet!" He protested, as you squeezed your eyes at him.

"You are pathetic, where’s the lady that has your heart, by the way?" You asked hugging him. You missed that. Punching him and getting out unscathed, just after.

Yaya showed up from the bathroom, looking stunning, just like a Disney princess, and you looked at both of them together feeling like a proud mother. Not only was Yaya a sweetheart, turns out that she was funny and a great cook. Mark was a lucky son of a b...

It didn't take long for you to get together on the balcony of Jaehyun's apartment, talking about all the crazy events in Mark's life in Thailand over the past three months. From insane rides in a tuned Tuk Tuk with a high driver, to the perfect trip through Maya Bay, showing pictures of a place that looked like heaven itself on earth.

"My god, I really need to go to Maya Bay! Check this out!" Sunny said hysterically, while you agreed, starting to talk about ticket prices and everything about this place.

"We have to go on this vacation, and Mark, I know you just got back, but you are going too!" You said pointing at him, as you took out your cell phone to look for Maya Bay, that's when you looked at watch and saw that you had spent a lot more time there than you had planned and you needed to find Jaebeom. "Oh shit, I have to go!" You said hurriedly. While reading Jaebeom's message.

[10:10 pm] def: i'll take a while, too, but after that I'll be on my way to your house.

"But already? My friend is on his way, just wait a little!" Mark pleaded, sitting on the floor, putting both hands together in a gesture of prayer. "You'll like him, I swear! Jaebeom is so cool!"

The mention of that name made you hang up and take your eyes off your phone.

"Jaebeom?" You asked in an almost inaudible whisper, feeling your hands tremble. Sunny watched you without understanding, since you haven’t mentioned that little detail of his name to her, and Jaehyun kept eating pizza like he never ate in his entire life.

"That friend of mine that I always try to introduce you to, but it never works." Mark said, laughing and slapping Jaehyun's arm. "Do you believe that I tried to introduce these two to each other for a whole month and it always went wrong? I’m trying since May, we are in August already." He laughed harder, and Sunny chuckled, as if remembering something, still not noticing your static expression.

"I remember that. The first time was when we were at the mall, we were going to see that horror movie, Mark had everything planned to leave you and Jaebeom alone and he would disappear into the world, at end, Y/N didn’t show up and Mark was disgusted. He spent the rest of the week saying he was going to get the two of them to know each other, before he went to Thailand." Sunny laughed harder, stealing Jaehyun's piece of pizza, which he complained about with his mouth full.

"I tried every day when I was still here in Korea, but the two never collaborated. Aish..." Mark said frustratedly, messing up his red hair. "The last time I tried, it was the day before I traveled, I went to Y/N's apartment when Sunny was there, I made an excuse that I needed to talk to Sunny and Y/N just opened the door, greeted me, said a quick hi to Jaebeom, didn't even look at his face and ran to the bedroom. It was frustrating. He is a dumbass also, he was always on that damn phone. Both of them are frustrating. He was right there in your living room and you were locked in the bedroom." Mark said, looking for something on his cell phone.

Every word from Mark made your stomach turn and you felt like you were going to throw up at anytime now. You didn't know how to absorb that information.

"Ah! I found it. Look at him here with me." Mark said excitedly, crawling over to you by placing his cell phone screen in front of your eyes, showing a picture of him with the said Jaebeom. And you felt the air in your lungs disappear, and were on the verge of crying.

There he was.

The subway guy was Mark's friend. 

Your soulmate was Mark's friend.

And maybe, he was...

"He has an amazing Soundcloud account, you know? He's a great singer, I swear. You should listen to his music. You'll like it, I know it's your type of music. Search for Defsoul, later."

After that, Mark's words grew more and more distant, as you shifted your gaze from the screen to Sunny's face, who stood still, with a piece of pizza in her mouth, looking directly at you, as astonished as you, while understanding what was going on.

Your chest tightened in an absurd way and you felt numb. The tears came hard and you got up off the floor quickly, running to the apartment door.

"I need to breathe… Just give me a second..." You said in a low, almost strangled, voice. Your chest seemed to want to explode, your breath was messy. You walked down the building's corridor in slow steps, barefoot, leaning on the walls. Your hand was shaking like never before and you could barely see the keyboard as you typed on your phone.

[10:20 pm] loftv: Mark.

[10:20 pm] loftv: Do you know Mark?

[10:20 pm] loftv: Please.

[10:20 pm] loftv: Tell me that you’re the one that it’s coming here. That you are Mark's friend.

[10:20 pm] loftv: Tell me it was you on the subway.

[10:20 pm] loftv: Please.

You typed while tears fell on your phone screen.

[10:21 pm] loftv: Please tell me that you are my soulmate. Please, I can’t spend the rest of my life with somebody that is not you. I don’t want to.

[10:22 pm] loftv: Please. 

[10:22 pm] loftv: Tell me it's you.

The minutes passed and no answer came, and everything just seemed to get worse. Your chest was unable to rest and your legs felt weak. Nothing had prepared you for that, not even your best dream. He was always there, all the time, crossed your path several times and in different ways; nothing could make you believe that this was the reality.

The noise of the elevator doors took you out of your state, making you realize that you were in the middle of a building's corridor, crying, while looking at the floor. Quickly, you tried to pull yourself together in the best way possible, drying your tears with the sleeve of your black shirt, but it was all in vain when you saw who was coming out of the elevator.

In a dark blue shirt and slightly ripped jeans, his hair was messing up, his chest rising heavily fast, as if he had been running for miles, his face was all red while holding his phone. When his eyes met yours, you felt like you were about to die, drowning in so many feelings. He came to you in hurried steps, but they seemed absurdly distant from you. He stopped inches away from you, his eyes scanning every single piece of your face, every emotion hidden in your eyes, he was absorbing everything.

"Return of happiness." He whispered, incredulous. "The lily of the valley usually blooms on the 1st of May and in some countries where it grows, tradition says that offering the plant brings good luck. It is such a humble flower, but so, so beautiful." He went on, reaching out to touch your cheeks with his fingertips, and that shiver, which was becoming something habitual to you, ran through your whole body again. Your heart had never beat so hard like this. "It is a source of inspiration for a better scenario. In the language of the flower, the lily of the valley means 'return of happiness'," he continued, as he raised his hand to the back of your neck, tilting his face so that your foreheads were glued together. You squeezed the fabric of his shirt between your fingers, pulling him closer to you. He never stopped looking at you; so intense that it just made your heart slowly unravel. "That's what you mean to me. From day one. You brought back everything I didn't know I had let go of. You brought back my happiness. You are the return of my happiness."

He whispered those words, as if he had been telling his most precious secret, then pressed your lips together, while holding your face in both hands, as if he was afraid that you would disappear. Every part of your body warmed and trembled at his touch, as if his touch was the trigger for all the feelings you once suppressed in your life.

Nothing but happiness emanated from your soul.

You could feel yourself crying without even realizing it; felt like your heart was shaking saying 'thank you, you're finally here, my love'.

"I love you," he said after pulling away from your lips for just a second, returning to kiss you with fury and passion.

And again, nothing had prepared you for reality.

[my-soliloquy-chamber]

I wanted to expand upon something I said about my writing, which is only interesting to very few people, or more likely, only to me, so.. cut!

I’m writing this post because my anxiety drives me to explain or justify things I’ve said/written or choices I’ve made. You can see evidence of this in the notes of my stories. 😅 I try not to let my anxiety run my life and minimize this behavior IRL, but this is Tumblr. Here we lean in.

Anyway, onto the point of this post. I wrote in the Writing Tag post, and also I’ve told some people that I usually have an easy time writing. I just need to sit down with a pen and pad and start churning out the words. This is not a boast or hyperbole or anything like that, it’s just true. It’s something I’ve had to learn how to do in my professional life where I write proposals and legal documents and such, and that’s always done to a deadline and without any inspiration or assistance from muses. I just have to put words on paper right now, so I do.

The question my anxiety is insisting everyone is snarkily asking about this (silently without telling me of course) is this:

If you can just sit down and easily churn out your writing, why does it take so long for you to post new chapters?

Well, part of the answer is of course that I have other things taking up my time like a job and chores and sleep and just other things I have to/rather be doing.

Another part is that my chapters are long nowadays. I used to think 10 000+ word chapters were me being crazy but now it’s my new normal, so a chapter will take me about a week to write if I don’t do anything else with most of my downtime. (no gaming for example.)

But the biggest part of it is something I learned the hard way with a fic I wrote for AC4: Black Flag called Reunions. (don’t try to read it, there’s no payoff)

See, when I just sit down and write… well, the text isn’t bad. It’s not a spelling or grammar issue. It’s a plot and characterization issue. I just let the characters go wherever they feel like, do whatever feels natural to my pen, without regard for the bigger picture. Because there isn’t one. I used to just trust that it would all work out in the end, when in fact that’s not what happens.

The result is instead a long meandering story without direction or payoff. Each individual scene might be decent or even good, but they don’t fit together to make a good, logical progression towards the end. A good story has a clear arch and the whole thing is in service of the end, the payoff.

I desperately want to avoid the mistakes I made with Reunion in the future, and most especially with Anthologia, so I spend at least a week, sometimes much more, thinking about where I’m going next with the story and how to get there.

I will write notes for myself for the current and future chapters, and might write a small snippet or two which may or may not later be used, but I never sit down to write the next chapter until I have a clear direction and goal.

Despite these precautions, I often find I’ve written something that doesn’t fit or doesn’t serve the story and needs to be cut. I’ve posted about that here a couple of times, but usually I don’t mention it at all. I have countless pages in my notebooks that have been crossed out and rewritten or just axed completely. Long, long scenes where things went a different way than what ended up in the story. Some of these I cut with a heavy heart, but most of them I just slashed my pen over and got right back to writing again.

So, I can just sit down and churn out writing at an alarming pace, but if I want a good story, then I have to take my time, think things through, and not be afraid to backtrack something I’ve spent hours on.

Anthologia is far from perfect of course, and has plenty of pointless and meandering scenes without much service to the plot or payoff, but I did paint myself into a bit of a corner with that story, since I decided to have it follow the plot of the game even though most of the game doesn’t have Kassidas in it. But, it is what it is. Fanfiction doesn’t have to be as neat and crisp as books anyway, so I will meander a little on the way to the payoff at the end.

As for Reunions… If I ever get back into the AC4 fandom, I’m definitely going to be rewriting that story so it makes sense and has a proper ending. IF.