#and got stuck on a sad one....
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#love between fairy and devil#cang lan jue#jieli#shangque#longli#myedit#kind of random#but i wanted to make a gif of them#and got stuck on a sad one....
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Haven't posted in a while have some duos
#uhh first of all#puremilk#shadowvanilla#← lovers#eternalmilk#shadowsugar#← exes#goldenspice#← worse. nothing good#i don't get them romantically but i wish my brain was big enough to make it work#i live in beast redemption au delusion always. canon makes me too sad#excl BY9 best chapter yet i'm in love with es#i need to draw more pvsm theyre still my favorites ive jus been drawing too much smilk selfcest#none of which can be shared with the class sorry.#crk#cookie run kingdom#pure vanilla cookie#shadow milk cookie#eternal sugar cookie#golden cheese cookie#burning spice cookie#im hungry im gonna eat one of those 5#two actually#(romantic)#i got ES first day btw btw btw btw btw i was so excited and it paid off#no promotions yet i'm sadly broke so stuck in f2p hell
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This has to be one of the funniest bits of 1D Chaos I've ever seen.
I miss you more and more, Payno. 💔🕊
#the best chaos#who yelled STOP#niall yelling Payno!#I got stuck in me t-shirt#and Harry just keeps dancing like nothing is happening#Liam's accent ❤️#these videos make me happy and sad at the same time#is harry trying to riverdance???#harry styles#liam payne#niall horan#1 direction#one direction
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"Toshiro Is Sexist," "Toshiro Owns Slaves": What's Really Going on With This Guy?
I've seen a lot of debate on whether or not Toshiro is problematic because he's a slave owner or because he's sexist in the context of his crush on Falin. While I do want to examine his relationship to Falin, I'd like to take a few steps back and unpack his upbringing first. We'll dive into the gender and class dynamics he was raised with and how it impacts his behavior in the main storyline.
Like all people, Toshiro is shaped by the environment he grew up in. Toshitsugu, Toshiro's father and the head of the Nakamoto clan, is the most impactful model of authority and manhood in his life. Toshiro does recognize some of his father's flaws and tries to avoid replicating them. But whether or not he emulates or subverts his father's behavior, Toshitsugu is often the starting point for Toshiro's treatment of others, particularly marginalized people.
The Nakamoto clan exists under a patriarchal hierarchy with Toshitsugu at the top. As noted by @fumifooms in their Nakamoto household post, his wife has more authority than Maizuru. She's able to ban Maizuru from parts of their residence, but despite disliking his infidelity, she can't divorce him or stop him from cheating on her. Their marriage is not an equal partnership.
On an interpersonal level, Toshitsugu and Maizuru also have a fraught relationship. While she does seem to care for him, she's often frustrated by his thoughtless behavior.
For example, he drunkenly buys Izutsumi for her — without considering how she'll have to raise this child — and invades her room in the middle of the night. When he cryptically says, "It's all my fault," she replies, "I can think of a lot of things that are your fault." She calls him an "idiot" and "believes that [Toshiro] will grow up to be a better clan leader than his father," implying that she takes issue with Toshitsugu's leadership.
Because Maizuru and Toshitsugu are described as being "in an intimate relationship" and "seem[ing] to be lovers," Maizuru appears to be a consensual participant. Still, this doesn't negate the large power imbalance between them as a male noble clan leader and his female retainer. This imbalance introduces an insidious undertone to Maizuru's frustration with Toshitsugu. Like Toshiro's mother, Maizuru doesn't have the agency to do as she pleases in their relationship; he has the ultimate authority. For instance, she doesn't seem to want to raise Izutsumi, but she has to anyway.
While Maizuru's role as Toshitsugu's mistress is significant, she's also the Nakamoto clan's teacher and Toshiro's primary maternal figure. She cares deeply for Toshiro: tailing him, feeding him, and taking responsibility even for his actions as an adult. While it might seem sweet that she cares for him like a son at first, Maizuru was notably fifteen years old at the time of his birth. In the extra comic below, he's six years old and has already been in her care for some time. Even if we're being generous and assuming that she didn't start raising him until he was six, she was still only twenty-one at the time she was parenting her boss/lover's child with another woman.

Maizuru's roles as mistress and maternal figure, in addition to her role as retainer, demonstrate the intersection between gendered and class oppression in the Nakamoto household. Despite her original role being a retainer trained in espionage, Toshitsugu presses her into performing gendered labor for him and eventually, Toshiro. She's expected to be Toshitsugu's lover, perform emotional labor for him as his confidant, care for his child, and carry out domestic tasks like cooking. She says, "Even during missions, I was often dragged into the kitchen." If she was a male servant, I doubt she would have been expected to perform these additional tasks. She can't avoid these tasks either, stating that her "own feelings don't factor into it."
Toshitsugu disregards his wife's and Maizuru's desires and emotions to serve his own interests. Because he has societal power over them as a nobleman and in Maizuru's case, her master, neither woman can escape their position in the household hierarchy.
As a result, Toshiro grew up within a structure where men and male nobility, in particular, wield the most societal power. The hierarchical nature of his household and society discourages everyone, including him as a clan leader's eldest son, from questioning and disrupting the existing hierarchy.
The other Nakamoto household members also internalize its sexist, classist power dynamics.
For example, Hien expects that she and Toshiro will replicate the uneven dynamics of the previous generation, regardless of her personal feelings. She sees her and Toshiro's relationship as paralleling Maizuru and Toshitsugu's relationship; she is the closest woman to Toshiro and his retainer, so she's shocked when Toshiro doesn't attempt to begin an intimate relationship with her. Notably, she doesn't have actual feelings for him. Her expectations are centered around the household's precedent of placing emotional, sexual, domestic, and child-rearing labor onto the female servants without any regard for their personal desires.
Hien also probably knows that her position in the household will improve if she is Toshiro's lover because she's seen it improve Maizuru's position. However, the fact that being the future clan leader's lover is the closest proximity she, as a female servant, has to power further reveals the gendered, class-based oppression she and the other women live under.
It's important to note that the Nakamoto clan bought Benichidori, Izutsumi, and Inutade as slaves, so they have less power and agency than Maizuru and Hien. The clan further dehumanizes Izutsumi and Inutade as demi-humans; their enslavement contains an additional layer of racialization.
Toshiro isn't oblivious to the gendered, class, and racial power dynamics of his household. He tries to distance himself from participating in its exploitative power structure. He walls himself off from Hien, who he's known since childhood, to avoid replicating his father's behavior and making his servant into his lover. He disapproves of his father's enslavement of Izutsumi and Inutade, and he lets Izutsumi go when she runs away in the Dungeon.
But does any of this absolve him of his complicity in his household's sexist, classist power dynamics and racialized slavery?
The short answer is absolutely not.
Despite his distaste for his father's exploitation of his servants and slaves, Toshiro still uses them. He refers to his party as "his retainers," and he has them fight and perform domestic tasks for him. You could argue that Toshiro doesn't like to and thus, doesn't regularly use his servants and slaves. In the context of him asking his retainers to help him rescue Falin, Maizuru says, "The only time he ever made any sort of personal request was for this task." But it shouldn't matter whether exploitation is a regular occurrence or not for it to be considered harmful. Toshiro asking Maizuru to cook him a meal still constitutes asking his female servant to perform gendered labor for him. He's also very accustomed to her grooming and dressing him.
Maizuru sees feeding, washing, and even advising Toshiro romantically as fulfilling Toshitsugu's orders to care for his son. They aren't fulfilling a "personal request." But just because her labor has been deemed expected and thereby devalued doesn't mean that it isn't labor or that she isn't performing it.
Maizuru's dynamic with Toshiro is also complicated by her role as his maternal figure. She loves him and wants to take care of him, and she doesn't have a choice in the matter. During Toshiro's childhood, the onus was on Toshitsugu to cease exploiting his lover and release her from servitude, but Toshiro is now an adult man. Seeing as how Maizuru defers to his wishes and calls him "Young Master," they still have a power imbalance that he's passively maintaining. Ideally, he would not ask anything of her until he has the authority to release her from servitude.
Throughout the story, Toshiro acts as if he has no agency and quietly disapproving of his father's actions absolves him of his participation in maintaining oppressive dynamics. While his father still ranks higher than him, he's essentially his father's heir. He has much more power than Maizuru, the highest-ranked servant. At the very least, he could leave his slave-owning household.
Unfortunately, his refusal to confront injustice is consistent with his character's major flaw: he does not express his opinions, desires, or needs. While this character trait obviously hurts his friendships, it also furthers his complicity in the injustices his household runs on.
Toshiro's relationship with eating food — the prevailing metaphor of the series — also parallels his relationship with confronting injustice. Maizuru mentions that he was a sickly child, so the act of eating may have been physically uncomfortable for him. As an adult, his refusal to eat crops up during his rescue attempt of Falin. Denying himself food might have been punishment for not accomplishing important tasks like rescuing Falin and/or a way to maintain control over something in his life when he felt like he'd lost control over the rest of it, again in the context of losing Falin. (Note: I suggest reading this post on Toshiro's disordered eating by @malaierba.)
But he cannot and does not avoid consuming food forever.
Similarly, Toshiro keeps his distance from his retainers and tries not to use them until the Falin situation occurs. His efforts to avoid exploiting his retainers amount to inaction — things he doesn't ask of them or do to them. But his inaction does nothing to dismantle the existing hierarchy that places his retainers under his authority, denies them agency, and often marginalizes them as not only servants or slaves but as women, and he ends up using them as servants and slaves anyways.

Returning to the narrative's themes of consumption, Toshiro cannot avoid eating just as he cannot avoid perpetuating the exploitative system of his household. The Nakamoto clan consumes the labor and personhood of those lower in the hierarchy. The retainers' labor as spies and domestic servants is the foundation of the clan's existence. Thus, the clan consumes their labor to sustain itself.
Within this hierarchy, the retainers' personhood is also consumed and erased. As Izutsumi describes, they are given different names and stripped of their agency to reject orders or leave. Maizuru and Hien also say their feelings are irrelevant in the context of Toshitsugu's and Toshiro's wants and needs. Both women are expected to comply with whatever is most beneficial and comfortable for the noblemen. Clearly, despite Toshiro's detachment from his household's functions, these social structures remain in place and harm the women under him.
Although we know the Nakamoto clan has male retainers, the choice to highlight the female retainers seems intentional. We're asked to interrogate how not only being a servant or a slave in a noble household impacts a person's life and agency, but how being a woman intersects with being a member of some of the lowest social classes.
Toshiro only distances himself from his father's behaviors of infidelity and exploitation so long as it doesn't take Toshiro out of his comfort zone. He doesn't free his slaves. He's far too comfortable with his female retainers performing domestic labor for him, and he barely acknowledges their efforts; they're shocked when he thanks them for helping him save Falin. He hasn't unpacked his sexist (or classist or racist) biases because he perpetuates his household's oppressive hierarchy throughout the narrative. Considering all of this, he inevitably brings this baggage to his interactions with Falin.
Falin is presumably one of the first women he's had extended contact with that isn't his relative or his family's servant. Because of his trauma surrounding his father and Maizuru sleeping together, he understandably falls for a woman as disconnected as possible from his father and his clan. He seems to genuinely like Falin, respects her boundaries, and graciously accepts her rejection. His behavior towards her is overall kind and unproblematic.
But if Falin had gone with him, she would've likely been devalued and sidelined like the other women of the Nakamoto household. No matter how much he loves Falin, simply loving her cannot replace the difficult work of unlearning his sexism. Love, of course, can and should be accompanied by that work, but by the close of the narrative, we gain little indication that Toshiro acknowledges or seeks to end his part in exploiting and devaluing women and other marginalized people.
A spark of hope does exist. Toshiro expressing his feelings to Laios and Falin suggests that his time away from home has encouraged him to speak up more. Breaking his habit of avoidance may be the first step towards acknowledging his complicity in systems of injustice and moving towards dismantling them.
Special thanks to my very smart friend @atialeague for bringing up Toshitsugu's relationship with Maizuru and the replication of dynamics of consumption and class! <3
#toshiro nakamoto#maizuru#hien#toshitsugu nakamoto#falin touden#izutsumi#inutade#benichidori#shuro#dungeon meshi#dunmeshi meta#dunmeshi analysis#quite literally free my girls#i got so sad after finding that parallel between maizuru and hien both saying their feelings don't matter#reading maizuru's character bio and how she's a brilliant woman#but she's stuck w toshiro's dad like#i'm toshitsugu's number one hater he better watch out#also thinking about how toshiro looked up to maizuru not even his own parents until he found out about maizuru and his dads relationship#that's devastating bro#im entering my clickbait title era LOL i was told my prev titles were too academia pilled and boring sounding#i think i want to write about izutsumi's and inutade's relationships w gender next#delicious in dungeon#dunmeshi#*mine#*meta
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dumping recent art
#some are my ocs#some are not#been going through shit#trying to self improve#uhhh#it’s good to know i’m not alone in my very specific issues#ty to the ones who saw my vent and reached out#mentally i am not okay#i’ve taken up bike riding anf gardening#it’s nice#reached a big goal or two#working on not being stuck online#umm#i miss my friends#i miss a lot of things that shouldn’t have changed i think#whatever may happen will happen#i’ve moved on w my life regarding my family#got diagnosed with autism#agoraphobia#SADs which is a funny name#and like a million other things so ig i can cope better#understanding#myself more with every day that goes by#i’m bored i’m bored i’m bored of things i used to like#art is not a hobby anymore but i think i’m addicted to it anyway#idk i wish i could run away sometimes#okay like one of these guys arent mine#it’s the pig that’s not mine lolll
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hey guys have you heard of this new thing called "nekomura iroha on synthesizer v 2 ai"? well i sure havent.
#IROHAAAAA ON SYNTHESIZERRRR VVVVVVVVV 😭😭😭😭🥲🥲🥲😭😭💖💖💖💗💞💓💓💖🥲🥲😭😭😭#I LITERALLY HAVE ONE WILLIAM DRAFTS + UNPOSTED ART. BUT I HAD TO DRAW SOMETHING QUICKLY FOR IROHA...#IM LITERALLY SHAKING WITH JOY AND PACING AROUND MY ROOMMM i forget sometimes i like vsynth so much it affects me. physically#<- for the record. this has happened with teto sv gumi sv miki sv saros + una sv. maybe more i forgot. i think kazehiki gekiyaku v6?#UEUUEUUEUEUUE 😭😭😭😭😭🥲🥲💖💖💖 ok. its all good now#synthv#vocaloid#nekomura iroha#synthesizerv#meowart#AGAINST ALL ODDS..... AGAINST THE VOICE PROVIDER TRANSITIONING. AGAINST SANRIO. AGAINST BEING STUCK IN V4..... NEKOMURA IROHA SYNTHVVVVVVVV#its funny bc. i have been getting a bit sad that i have been thinking abt vsynth less bc ive been paying more attention to pr*ject skai#and then all of the sudden. iroha blast. iroha isnt even one of my top 10 vsynths waddahell#I DONT WANT TO JUMP THE GUN AND SAY TRANSGENDER IROHA REAL JUST YET. it is very possible theyll pitch up kyounosukes voice/use old samples#but i can dream... aand he said that he would like to voice a masc iroha upgrade. so. smiling sweetly ahs you can do something so great ^_^#ppl have been talking abt maybe a masc vocal mode? which sounds like. honestly a stretch in terms of voicebank training. but idk itd b cool#i will be happy either way. iroha v2+v4 are epic it would be awesome to see those on sv too. but if they do make trans iroha#i might actually regret not getting synthv2. the fomo of not having to spend an extra 50 smackaroos#and also if no one got me jamie p always got me (said it would make transgender iroha songs)#OH AND. ALSO HBD IROHA I FORGOT. its iroha day in my timezone the time i schedule this yayyyyy ^_^ woohoo
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how long have you been aware of Atul from spirit farer?
day 1532 this is obviously just an excuse to draw him again (referenced straight from an ingame screenshot) i've been passivley aware of him for a while. i'm pretty sure someone requested him and i intended to draw him and just forgot actively aware - about a week, since i started playing the game myself :)
#amphibian#frog#spiritfarer#atul spiritfarer#this is less fanart and more just copying a reference i just want to practice drawing him until i can steal the parts i want for my style#edit on the day this is posting. he just left me :(#honestly im nto as sad as i expected. i felt ready for it#it may have helped that i uh. was stuck in the first 2 areas for way longer than intended so i got to spend more time with him#(was missing one spirit/ability and i kept going past it thinking 'no i already checked that place i cant do anything yet')
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ford: would you be interested in a dd&md campaign where nothing bad happens whatsoever
stan: what’s the fun in that?
ford: the escape from our chronic depression
stan: …can i raid a dragon’s hoard or somethin
ford: you can. you can even mock the dragon so hard it dies
stan: holy shit yeah i’m in
#one aspect of gravity falls ae’m iffy about: the way d&d is treated. rant incoming#it’s all math and rules and graphs and like ae get the whole point is that they shouldn’t mock dipper just for loving something they don’t#Mbut also like???#yeah no shit they’re not interested. you didn’t show them ANY of the aspects they might actually be into#where’s the crafting? the creating of characters? the worldbuilding? the harassing innocent npcs?#idk maybe ae’m inexperienced but ae have never seen a d&d campaign that uses fuckin graphs#because that’s NOT THE APPEAL ALEX.#the appeal is the escapism. it’s the being able to dive into a fantastical world#it’s the getting to defeat enemies. it’s the being the underdog. it’s the earning a victory. it is the friends we made along the way#and like?? fuck man. ae get the part of the fandom that’s like ‘i don’t get why people write fics making stan and mabel play dd&md’#‘they made it clear they don’t like it’#but damn it have you ever seen a fic like that that’s about the graphs and math and giant rule book?#hell most fics we’ve seen like that use homebrewed campaigns. as in ‘FUCK THE RULE BOOK WE DO THIS OUR WAY’#ae just. ae’m starting to understand why people don’t like that episode#what was the point? to not mock dipper anymore? we’ve had like three episodes about that already#they missed an opportunity to make an episode focused in bonding#an episode that could have explored ford and stan’s strained relationship more#because stan and mabel would have loved the creative aspects of d&d so much#mabel loves crafts! she would have had so much putting together little figurines or a set!#and stan- can you imagine how much fun he would have had with the npcs?#and with the creation of characters! he fuckin loves storytelling!!#ae’m. ae’m sad now. they had an opportunity to bring everyone together through a game that has something for each of them to love#and instead we got ‘we should stop bullying dipper for the third time’ and ‘you can tell they don’t like each other-#-because stan still won’t say ford’s name’#can you imagine if instead of ‘stan throws a hissy fit and nearly gets ford and dipper killed’ we got ‘ford and stan get REALLY into the ga#and their characters and situations start to get kind of personal’?#like! imagine if they had all gotten stuck in the game and the stans had to work together to save everyone#but they still have unresolved issues that they start to work through at the end and thus the episode ends with a hopeful note#like. they share a moment like in the finale when ford and stan smile at each other after the bus leaves#don’t tell us they got a ‘starting to communicate and resolve issues’ moment in the finale because that shit was rushed as hell
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here's a scribbly modern au Xiao Xingchen who saved me from artist's block last summer 🤍
#xiao xingchen#tumodernau#my mental health was pretty bad and I got stuck in a rut of hating everything I drew#and then one night I put on sad music and scribbled this sweetheart#and artist's block just... went away!#the untamed
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♡
#Het Huis Anubis#Nienke Martens#Graaf Rohan#Het Pad Der 7 Zonden#someone gotta stop me before i start making more edits of these two#might as well start a fanfic#pd7z au - fabian fails to reach the castle in time. but he got so close to succeeding that the devil told rohan that the deal is off#and refuses to actually turn his heart to stone#now rohan is stuck with a not-stone nienke#nienke tries to find her way back to the portal place but she cant find it#what she does find along the way are all of her friends petrified#nienke doesnt know what to do now that she is stuck in this period and just returns to the castle#wait idk i dont want a sad fanfic#so nienke returns to the castle and begins to purposefully annoy the hell out of rohan#they eventually form a sort of frenemy friendship because i love friendships and everyone deserve one#i dont even know where this is going#ignore the ramblings#my post
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Leonard Cohen, 2006
#poetry#leonard cohen#i read a bunch of his stuff today from a couple of collections i got and this one stuck with me#'don't be sad / its lovely here / theyre so good to us'#'we're not the only ones'#'everyone gets eaten'#augh
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howard the duck (1976) #10
#coming for spider-man's life i see#sci talks comics#howard the duck#spider-man#yes. i am reading the entirety of howard the duck comic canon from the beginning thank you for asking.#i had read the most recent two howard the duck series and i enjoyed them but now? reading the classic stuff??#dear god the new stuff doesn't hold a candle.#sighs. howard is just like every marvel character. lost his edge.#marvel stop forgetting the entire point of your characters in order to babify them to appeal to wider audiences#seeing how counter-consumerist the early howard books are and how cynical and honest the writer is..#it's a little heartbreaking what he's become#here i was thinking he was just a funny duck.#kind of sad that howard's entire existence now is reduced to “remember when we wrote about a talking duck?”#“hheeheheahahahohoh what a funny thing that was. a talking duck. could you imagine! what a silly time that was.”#“what an embarrassing time for marvel”-– shut UUP this is so interesting and sincere. that duck is really interesting and sincere.#i love you howard.#i even like your weird movie.#fun fact: howard the duck was one of the first movies my dad ever watched in english#and it was this movie that he always tried to describe and try to find because he loved it but he didn't remember the name#he said it's a movie about a duck who gets stuck in the human world#and eventually i got into marvel and was like wait. howard the duck? is the movie howard the duck???#he loves that movie. well. the first half of it. and me too i also love the first half of that movie.#love you howard!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Moral Orel doesn't seem 100% like a show I'd feel seen in if you don't know me but then I remember the episode with the special ed kids and underneath the usual satire on extremist bible belt religion it reminds me WAY too much of how actual special ed departments treated me and other kids growing up.
Like the writers must HAVE BEEN THERE IN LIFE, man. I'd kill to sit down with Dino Stamatopoulos and find out what the fuck inspired him and the other writing staff that day.
#husbandothings#moral orel#bonus fun tag rant? bonus fun tag rant...apparently#in those departments you are immediately written off as a tragic forever toddler by at least 50% of the staff regardless of your disability#there's good ones but the bad ones bring the fun spicy trauma#it doesn't matter how smart you actually are you gotta draw the sad face on that boy on the comic sans worksheet at the age of 15#in your free lesson spaces that you got because of reasons#if someone tells me they're a teaching assistant or have “qualifications” in autism and special needs development i immediately distrust#because I have never met a neurotypical person with those qualifications who knows how to treat kids like humans especially autistic kids#funniest part? I was mostly in the special ed department because of my hearing and not totally my undiagnosed autism#and a little because of wonky emotional development from get this...a freaking religious school#like i see adults in the show and i see the headteacher who tried to tell my parents i should forgive the bullies because jesus would#even though the truth is way more nuanced but he just wanted to wash his hands of it#it's funnier than it should be because that teacher would fit right in to this show for that and additional reasons I won't state here#my family were atheists but thought the school would be good#the weird thing is at that time as a little kid I liked the idea of believing in god but nothing that happened proved Him to me#and moral orel hits because it resonates with the fact i genuinely believe religion can do good and it's all about the people#the ones who want to use that faith for good in the world and surviving rough crap and not to do things that would make jesus flip tables#that has stuck with me for over a decade as has the people who felt the show reinforced their christianity#but anyway
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Aaa that ending scene of them reenacting the string cups was so cute
Declaring that no matter with parallel cir or phu they see they'll only love the cir and phu they have in that world now 🤧 so sweet
And ofc i love the smooches and the carry and the kisses while phu is being carried
Just what an incredible ending to their story
#i still feel bad for ozone tho i hope hes okay taking cirs place as their mothers puppet#i want him to have a happy ending too#the boy next world#the boy next world the series#cirrusphukan#cirphu#we got a little end credit scene of phayu cirs world and it made me think of dark cir#did he get back to his world or is he stuck in that white place is his phu gone dis he truly not get a happy ending ☹️#so sad to think about some cirphus not making it#so im glad that this world one does at least and so does the phayu cir soon if the credit teasers mean something
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Been a minute since I've been able to draw or even post anything. And that's cuz I've been busy af with a job that's been slowly killing me for the last 8 months. But it's all good; I'm actually leaving that shithole at the end of the week. Yay! Maybe that means I can open up commissions again since I'll actually have time for them? Who's to say...
Anyway! Had a rough weekend at Fan Expo Chicago last week, and I've kinda had this in mind to draw ever since my disappointing interaction with Neil Newbon. He was very nice, but it felt pretty clear that he only really cared about Astarion. And, like, to a degree I get it? Astarion seems like a cool character that means a lot to a lot of people, but to act like no one cares anymore about Resident Evil Village cuz it's an "older game" (his words, not mine), kinda killed my mood for the weekend. Not to mention coming back with COVID. That was also a bummer...
*I* still love Heisenberg, at least. And if I'm the only one, then so be it. ❤️🩹
#scammy art#scammy talks too much#shut up scammy chan#con venting#resident evil village#resident evil 8#karl heisenberg#karl heisenburg fanart#self indulgent#neil newbon#mostly just needed to get out the sad feels#I could go on about this weekend#worst con I've ever attended#spent the majority of the weekend in tears#and not of joy#also I don't dislike Neil or think less of him#this is just me dealing with my own disappointment#Neil was otherwise very nice and stuck around well after the con hall closed to make sure he got through everyone#I just think it's sad that he only really cared to engage with this one character#he didn't even have any prints of other characters outside of a general RE print of all the characters he'd done#and honestly I'm also just...kinda sad he didn't like the little Heisenberg plush I'd made...#I know how stupid that sounds but I worked hard on that and it meant a lot to me#and people in line were all excited by it#so to hear Neil be all not interested was just...kind've a bummer...#so yeah...just...in my feelings a lot lately and needed to get it out...#also drew Heisenberg in a way I don't hate for once and I wanted to share that much at least
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I had an idea for cornpea Käärijä:
What if he wanted to go into botanical studies to find out where he comes from, and he sprouts grains and legumes in the kitchen and looks at them through a magnifying glass to see if the sprouts on his arm when he was a baby look anything like it? :´)
I´m sure you have enough ideas as it is but I can´t stop thinking about it and wanted to know what you thought of it <3

is he trying to grow himself some friends or planning to have a snack? hmmmm...
(peanuary day 25)
#käärijä#peanuary#not to worry i never have too many ideas for the corn pea boy! <3#also it's always super fun to draw other ppls ideas for him that i never would have thought of myself :D so thank you!!#i simplified your idea a bit bc my mind got kind of stuck on the thought of him as a lil gardener 😆 & i loved that!#but aww the thought of him trying to figure out how he came to be is kind of a sad one to me ngl 🥺#bc it implies he's the only one of his kind & all alone but he doesnt want to be 😭
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