#and got Doppo Kunikida as my first result

[mitta-likes-moths]

Well this is a result that’s for sure I guess really just looked at me and called my ass out like ok

[sskk-ao3feed]

I hate your guts but love rearranging them - A Love Triangle (Lucy x Atsushi x Akutagawa)

read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/q1cHrLP by ilovecosplays_876 The ADA completes another well-done mission thanks to Dazai, Ranpo, Kyouka, Kunikida and Atsushi. Although Kenji, Junichiro and Naomi weren't on the mission, they still got included into the celebration. They soon have a small party with tons of snacks and candy(Ranpo begged Kunikida to pay for it), soda and it was just plain fun. Atsushi gets a coca-cola for him, Junichiro and Kyouka. Kyouka accidentally drops the can leaving a dent but Junichiro's and Atsushi's look the same. This results in Atsushi drinking Junichiro's coke which was poisoned with aphrodisiacs(by Naomi). Soon the party ends and Atsushi decides to walk Kyouka home, but he starts to feel hot. While on the way he accidentally runs into Akutagawa who is burning a building down and Lucy, who is walking along the streets. It's pretty obvious Atsushi isn't feeling well so Lucy brings Kyouka, Akutagawa and Atsushi into her home. She decides to get some medicine from the store and brings Kyouka leaving Akutagawa and Atsushi alone... Words: 2277, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English Fandoms: 文豪ストレイドッグス | Bungou Stray Dogs Rating: Mature Warnings: Rape/Non-Con Categories: M/M Characters: Akutagawa Ryuunosuke (Bungou Stray Dogs), Nakajima Atsushi (Bungou Stray Dogs), Dazai Osamu (Bungou Stray Dogs), Nakahara Chuuya (Bungou Stray Dogs), Izumi Kyouka (Bungou Stray Dogs), Higuchi Ichiyou (Bungou Stray Dogs), Akutagawa Gin, Mori Ougai (Bungou Stray Dogs), Elise (Bungou Stray Dogs), Lucy Maud Montgomery (Bungou Stray Dogs), Edogawa Ranpo (Bungou Stray Dogs), Edgar Allan Poe (Bungou Stray Dogs), Kunikida Doppo (Bungou Stray Dogs), Tanizaki Junichirou (Bungou Stray Dogs), Tanizaki Naomi Relationships: BoyxBoy - Relationship, Akutagawa Ryuunosuke/Nakajima Atsushi (Bungou Stray Dogs), Shin Soukoku - Relationship Additional Tags: Bottom Akutagawa Ryuunosuke (Bungou Stray Dogs), Top Nakajima Atsushi (Bungou Stray Dogs), Gay Sex, Anal Sex, Anal Fisting, My First Smut, My First Work in This Fandom, Fluff, Angst and Tragedy, Lemon, Soft Lucy Maud Montgomery (Bungou Stray Dogs), One-Sided Lucy Maud Montgomery/Nakajima Atsushi (Bungou Stray Dogs) read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/q1cHrLP

[tigreblvnc]

Hey Suo!

Favourite BSD character so far?

(since anon is not on I have to use my main acc so. I hope you do not mind lol)

Here we are.

I was waiting for the opportunity to respond to our last exchanges (1) (2) in the same post and to be far enough into the anime to have a clear opinion on my position. So, my favorite BSD character so far.

Bungou Stray Dogs spoilers until season 4:

— Ougai Mori.

At first, he seemed weak and ignorant in his doctor outfit, searching for his little girl on the streets. However, even if you didn't recognize his voice from his initial interaction with Higuchi, it was clear that this character would play an important role in the plot.

It's his first interaction with Atsushi that left a huge impression on me. I really love characters who appear vulnerable but aren't at all. This seemingly insignificant behavior often conceals a powerful character who knows far more than they let on.

What I like about Ougai Mori is that he's a leader with a profoundly personal moral code. He's wise but also merciless. He peacefully gazes at the view from the top of his tower, yet he can order his men to provoke a massacre below. I shared the scene where Chuuya finally joins the Port Mafia after hearing Ougai's explanation of what it means to be a leader. It reflects the harsh reality of leadership: sacrifice and devotion.

In this sense, it connects with one of the reasons why I like Blue Lock: it's a story about characters willing to abandon their closest allies when they are no longer useful, all in the name of moving forward and protecting what they believe is right.

I also want to share this scene:

Although Fukuzawa and Ougai were raised by the same man, they have completely different approaches to managing their respective organizations. It's not a simple dichotomy. It's nuanced: each fights for their own interests, their family, and, on a larger scale, the city they love. Yet, in the end, one cannot exist without the other. They embody a balance in Yokohama that reminds me of the interplay between day and night. Heaven and hell. Life and death.

Regarding the BSD kin assignment test, it's clear that our results often reflect our favorite characters. It also highlights how we tend to identify with and grow attached to characters who share similarities with us.

In my case, I appreciate all the characters I got for one reason or another:

Ougai Mori → Leadership, wisdom, the ability to make harsh decisions for the greater good, and a knack for concealing his true intentions.

Kunikida Doppo → Loyalty, a strong desire to protect, very firm personal values, knowledgeable, tough on the outside but soft inside.

Francis Fitzgerald → A love of luxury, exuberance, delusions of grandeur, and ultimately learning to develop a personal ethic.

Osamu Dazai → Speaks in riddles, knows far more than he appears to, loves to challenge and tease others, yet remains reliable.

Chuuya Nakahara → Big anger issues, a short temper, loud, and a gifted child.

As for your resemblance to Fyodor, he seems to embody the epitome of an extremely unhealthy INFJ. I'll elaborate on this topic in a dedicated post. But this Fyodor reminds me a lot of Geto in Jujutsu Kaisen. Wanting to eliminate an entire population for a noble cause.

All this to say that Ougai is my favorite character so far lol. His voice suits him perfectly, emanating years of experience while still being capable of playful interactions with others.

TIGREBLVNC 2025 | BUNGOU STRAY DOGS ANALYSIS x OUGAI MORI.

[pluto-writes]

Kunikida Doppo x Reader | Fluff Alphabet

A/n: Kunikida makes an appearance! To that one Kunikida anon, I hope you see this and I did him well. This is the most I’ve written so far for the fluff alphabets... He was just a fun character to write about. I have 2 more to go and maybe, maybe, if these get a good amount of love I’ll do a third one... I heard that the character starts with a C...

Words: 2,764

Activities - What do they like to do with their s/o? How do they spend their free time with them?

Kunikida loves to do typical romantic things with you. It’s all in his book of Ideals, of course. Whenever he is out on jobs or errands for the Agency, he keeps an eye out for date spots to take you to. 

On his days off, he’ll take you out for a picnic date at the park. He thinks the park is the perfect place since its calming, and he believes the sun enhances your natural beauty. 

He’ll pack your favorite snacks, and you’ll bring a blanket and things to do while you’re at the park. Whether it be reading or playing board games, he enjoys doing it all with you.

You guys also occasionally go fishing together. You had learned that it was a favorite hobby of his, and wanted to be able to do it together. So you had planned this fishing trip, and successfully managed to do so without him noticing.

When you took him to the beach, he became ecstatic when he found out it was to go fishing. And to his luck he managed to catch his favorite type of fish, bonito. You offered to cook it for him once you guys went home, and he thoroughly enjoyed his lightly roasted bonito.

Beauty - What do they admire about their s/o? What do they think is beautiful about them?

He loves how much you understand him. You don’t make fun of him for his ideals or his need to stick to his schedule. You even help him keep track of what he has to do for the day, and offer a helping hand when needed. 

He also admires your dedication towards your work. It was what initially drew him in, in the first place. He notices all the effort and time you put into your work, and seeing you encourages him to get through the day without letting Dazai distract him. 

He thinks your hands are your most striking feature. They fit into his hands so comfortably and holding them soothes him instantly.

Comfort - How would they help their s/o when they feel down/have a panic attack etc.?

He would take you away from the situation, as far as he can so he can get you somewhere quiet. Once he gets you to a quiet place, his next plan of action will get you to start talking about what’s bothering you. 

To do that he’ll start talking to you to help calm you down, since you had mentioned before how much you liked his voice. After a while, he’ll manage to calm you down, and once he does, you’ll feel confident enough to confide in him about what has been bothering you.

Dreams - How do they picture their future with their s/o?

He has it all written in his book of Ideals. He pictures getting married to you after you’ve been dating for two years. He prefers quiet afternoons with you, if days are uneventful that means that things are going according to his ideals.

He has his ideals, but he also understands that you have your own too. If there’s anything you don’t want to go through with, he would completely accept your choice and wouldn’t force you.

Equal - Are they the dominant one in the relationship, or rather passive?

The relationship the two of you share is rather balanced. He doesn’t want to be overbearing, or controlling. Plus, he loves it when you know what you want. 

He wants someone that can make decisions for themselves, of course with that being said he doesn’t mind if you come to him for help sometimes. However, if it was a common trend he wouldn’t be able to put up with it.

Fight - Would they be easy to forgive their s/o? How are they fighting?

Kunikida is quick to forgive, mostly since he doesn’t like conflict. At times he is quick to anger if you push the right buttons, but why would you? Though he knows to only apologize when he is in the wrong. 

He’ll need time to cool off first before talking with you again, but after that you guys are fine. Fighting with Kunikida isn’t fun since he tends to raise his voice when he’s agitated, and the volume he talks in is a bit scary. It’ll be mostly verbal, since he knows that communication is valuable in a relationship. And while he may not agree with you, that doesn’t mean he can’t listen to your reasoning.

Gratitude - How grateful are they in general? Are they aware of what their s/o is doing for them?

Kunikida overall is a very grateful man, but above all he’s thankful about your entire existence. And he makes sure to tell you so every chance he gets. He may not notice the small things you do for him, but when everything is going smoothly he figures you had something to do with it and will thank you accordingly.

Honesty - Do they have secrets they hide from their s/o? Or do they share everything?

He believes in an open and honest relationship. And he’s aware that in order for it to work, there has to be a sense of trust between the two of you. Cause if he doesn’t open up to you how would you feel safe enough to confide in him? 

There are moments he’d rather not mention, but he knows that talking about it will help him get through it, and he has complete faith in you. He’ll come to you when things start to get overwhelming for him. After talking to you, he’ll start to feel better about what’s been bothering him.

Inspiration - Did their s/o change them somehow, or the other way around? Like trying out new things or helped them overcome personal problems?

Since he began dating you, the others had noticed that he seemed calmer, even with Dazai around. There would be times where he would get annoyed, but not as much as he used to. Before, even Dazai’s mere presence would induce headaches, now however, he’s able to tolerate him more without blowing a fuse.

Ever since you met him, you had always admired his belief in his ideals and the lengths he’ll go to protect them. Seeing that gave you the idea to make a book similar to his. Yours might not have an entire list, but it helps you keep track of your day to day life and any important info. Having your stuff organized has helped you finish what you wanted and makes sure that you haven’t missed anything. 

Jealousy - Do they get jealous easily? How do they deal with it?

Jealousy doesn’t come easy to Kunikida since he’s an adult, and he’s able to spot the difference between a friendly conversation and one with flirty intentions -except when it’s towards him-. Plus, he isn’t territorial over you, he knows that you can stand up for yourself and when the situation calls for it you won’t hesitate to protect yourself.

Kiss - Are they a good kisser? What was the first kiss like?

When he was about to have his first kiss with you, he was really nervous. He had just taken you on your first date and after a stroll under the moonlight he walked you home since it was the right thing to do. Once you reached your home he became fidgety, and his hands couldn’t stay still.

He could still remember how hard his heart was pounding, and how his palms got slightly warm despite the cold night. And you remember how cute it was seeing the usually composed Kunikida being so nervous around you, and the blush he had then.

He knew he had to go through with it, he wrote it in his book. To kiss you after your first date, but he couldn’t help overthinking about it. Seeing his nervousness, you took the initiative and pulled him into a kiss. Upon your lips meeting his he froze, and by the time you pulled away he was still in shock.

“What happened, Kunikida? Cat got your tongue?” You said teasingly, which only caused his cheeks to flare up more.

After his first kiss with you, he still got shy at times, especially in front of other people, but his kissing has gotten better. He doesn’t freeze up when you lean in for a kiss, and he has gained enough confidence to kiss you first.

Love Confession - How would they confess to their s/o?

You have Dazai to thank for your relationship. He knew that the two of you liked each other, but neither of you did anything about it. So he took that problem into his own hands.

Kunikida was painfully aware he was in love with you, and at times being around you made him lose his composer. He even added to his list of an ‘Ideal Partner’ modeled after you. However, he managed to miss all your attempts at flirting with him, he took them as a friendly gesture. 

After getting the same results over and over, you figured that Kunikida must not like you in the same way. Coming to terms with that was not easy, so instead of inviting Kunikida out with the intention of hopefully dating him, you would go out with him as friends, and somehow that was harder to do.

This is where Dazai came in, he was acutely aware of the situation at hand, and knew that it’ll take a big push from Kunikidas' side to confess to you. The day he executed his plan started as normal, that is until you walked into the office.

Cue the endless teasing from Dazai to Kunikida. His voice was somehow even more annoying than ever to Kunikida. But he held in strong, more focused in finishing his work. Which gave Dazai the chance to steal his book of Ideals.

“Oh (Y/n)-san ~! Would you like to see what Kunikida has written in his book?” He called out to you. “Especially this one section, ‘My Ideal Partner’. Sounds very interesting, don’t you think?” He smirked, holding the book out to you.

Kunikida never got up from his seat so fast. But before he could storm over there and give Dazai a piece of his mind, you spoke up.

“No thank you, Dazai-san. And you shouldn’t read it either. That’s not right of us.”

Kunikida couldn’t believe it! You respected his privacy and you scolded Dazai! That made him like you even more.

“You’re perfect,” Kunikida accidentally blurted out.

“What!?” You asked out of shock.

Knowing he wouldn’t be able to get out of it, he ended up confessing to you how he felt about you and his wish to further your relationship, which you happily accepted.

Marriage - Do they want to get married? How do they propose? What would the marriage be like?

He would definitely want to marry you, he can’t imagine spending the rest of his life with anyone else. The way he’ll propose to you is well thought out.

First, he’ll take you to the place you guys had your first date. And while you guys are chatting he'll think about how much better his life has gotten with you around, and he can’t help but smile. 

You caught him smiling and called him out on it, which only caused him to get slightly nervous, he wanted to surprise you and didn’t want to give anything away. 

Once again, he’ll walk you home just like before, and with the moment finally about to happen he felt this sudden knot in his stomach. He tried to fight it, but he couldn’t. 

You noticed his nervousness and offered him your hand. He seemed to calm down after that, but his heart felt like it was about to explode. When you reached your home, you could tell he was hesitating about something. It reminded you before of your first kiss. 

“You know,” you started, gaining his attention, “I can’t help but feel like this scene happened before… What are you holding back?”

“O-oh! Uhm..” His hand flew into his pocket, feeling the box. Taking a deep breath he pulled out the box and got on one knee. “Will you marry me, (Y/n)?”

Being married to Kunikida wasn’t all that different than dating. The only thing that changed was that he seemed more confident when you were involved. And shortly after you guys moved in with each other, which gave you more time to spend with him.

Nicknames - What do they call their s/o?

He’ll call you things like ‘my love’, ‘darling’, and you even got you to call you ‘Honey’! At first he got extremely embarrassed calling you by those names, but it soon came naturally to him.

On Cloud Nine - What are they like when they are in love? Is it obvious for others? How do they express their feelings?

He was painfully obvious to everyone that wasn’t you. Those around him noticed the long glances he gave you, how he seemed to favor you over the others. And how his face got red after talking to you. Once Dazai knew the truth it was over for Kunikida.

PDA - Are they upfront about their relationship? Do they brag with their s/o in front of others? Or are they rather shy to kiss etc. when others are watching?

 He doesn’t flaunt around his relationship with you, he doesn’t see why it’s necessary since he doesn't wish to involve outsiders in your relationship. Kunikida has no problem complimenting you in front of others, and the way he says it states it as fact rather than his opinion.

However, if you try to show him affection in front of others he gets a little hot under the collar. He’ll cover his face with his hand and avert his eyes from yours.

Quirk - Some random ability they have that’s beneficial in a relationship.

His organization is impeccable. You can count on him to keep track on everything, so that you never end up forgetting something important. And living with him is even better, he makes sure that there are no messes around and if he manages to get home before you, you can expect a dinner of some sort waiting for you.

Romance - How romantic are they? What would they do to make their s/o happy? Cliché or rather creative?

Kunikida is a very romantic lover, whether it be intentional or not. Everything he does for you makes your heart flutter. When he plans dates out for the two of you, most of the time they are rather cliche, like going to the movies together. 

He heard about scary movies being the perfect way to bond with your partner, so he took you to one expecting you to get scared and cling on to him. But of course it wasn’t that easy. The movie ended up being about ghosts, and he ended up being the one who got scared. You think it went pretty well considering that later that night he asked to sleep with you, and you were more than happy to obliged.

Support - Are they helping their s/o achieve their goals? Do they believe in them?

He has complete faith in you, and your abilities. If you ever feel down about not being good enough, Kunikida is there to remind you of how wonderful you are and the accomplishments you’ve made.

Thrill - Do they need to try out new things to spice up your relationship? Or do they prefer a certain routine?

Kunikida is perfectly content with the relationship. As long as he has you by his side he doesn’t feel the need to spice up your relationship. Keeping a certain rhythm within it helps calm him down and lets him know that nothing wrong will happen.

When things are quiet it brings a smile to his face cause that means that his ideals are coming into reality.

Understanding - How good do they know their partner? Are they empathetic?

Kunikida understands you well, any new piece of information he learns about you he makes sure to jot it down in his notebook so that he won’t forget about it.

When you feel happy, he feels happy for you, when you feel sad or upset because of someone he also feels the same way. He does his best to keep you happy because seeing you sad hurts him in a way he hasn’t felt before.

Value - How important is the relationship to them? What is it worth in comparison to other things in their life?

Your relationship with him is something Kunikida holds very dear to his heart. He’s a man of his ideals and he can’t picture a life without you. Being with you is now a part of his ideals and he doesn’t want to let that go. 

Wild Card - A random Fluff Headcanon.

Kunikida has always taken care of his hair, and it's so nice and long you couldn’t help eyeing it, wishing you could run your fingers through it and try to do different hairstyles.

He noticed your eyes on him, and when he brought it up to you, you had to explain what you wanted to do to it. And to your delight, he allowed it!

After that it became a regular thing between you two. Whenever you felt stressed out or bored, he would let you brush his hair and play with it. He doesn’t say it directly but he loves the feeling of you playing with his hair.

XOXO - Are they very affectionate? Do they love to kiss and cuddle?

Kunikida is an affectionate lover in his own way. He shows that he cares for you by showing what he knows about you, or helping you out whenever you feel lost or stressed.

He loves to kiss and have you in his arms, but he gets embarrassed doing that in front of others, especially his friends. He thinks tender moments like these should only be between you and him.

Yearning - How will they cope when they’re missing their partner?

He usually works himself to the bone. If he’s too invested in his work then he’s too busy to think about you. It would work for a while, but then he would remember that you always tell him to take breaks and make sure he doesn’t overwork himself. 

If he’s really missing you and can’t wait, during his break he’ll call you just to hear your voice.

Zeal - Are they willing to go to great lengths for the relationship? If so, what kind of?

Kunikida is a man of his ideals, and seeing as you’re now a part of them he’ll be willing to put his life on the line if it meant saving you or your relationship.

[shianhygge-imagines]

Jonquil (Bungou Stray Dogs) [Kunikida/Reader]

AN: I wrote this while in a depressed haze a while ago. Thought I’d try the “hanahaki disease” concept out. Tragic romance... just the thing to make my heart hurt. (AHHH LOOK AT HOW HANDSOME HE IS!)

Jonquil [a toxic flower of the Narcissus genus] - the pure white flower holds the meaning, "Love me" a desire for affection returned.

|Masterlist Link|

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You couldn’t stop staring when you met him.

Kunikida, Doppo…

In the wake of devastation. Of corpses and injured, Port Mafia and civilians alike. Was the striking appearance of a man in glasses that nearly concealed the golden irises behind. He wasn’t the only individual that had arrived to stop the catastrophe occurring in Yokohama, but he was the one you’d concentrated on in an attempt to control your power.

All around you were the corpses and puppets… the result of your power, “The Stranger.” It was a curse, if you were honest with yourself. A hypnotic power that forced the people you spoke to to hallucinate and abandon all sense of morality or self control. Whenever this happened, the people affected would commit crimes, become severely depressed and kill themselves, or they just became indifferent. Since you discovered this power, nearly a year ago, you’d had trouble controlling it during times of stress, deciding to move in with your aunt and uncle in Yokohama. Away from New York, which was infested with reasons to cause stress.

How were you to know that Yokohama was about the worst place to move to?

Somehow, the Port Mafia had gotten word of your abilities. You didn’t know if they had labeled you a threat or a possible asset, you just know that one moment, you were peacefully strolling down the streets, the next, you started noticing the strange men and women in suits, following you around. You’d deployed all strategies to stay calm: deep breathing, singing, reading, speaking to your friend back home. But it was all for naught, because once the mafia knew you were showing signs of losing control, they aimed to subdue you.

The situation went from zero to a thousand in no time at all. Several individuals had placed their hands on you, and your cry of, “Let go!” was all it took for everyone within a twenty foot radius to fall under the control of your power.

Upon hearing of the situation, the Port Mafia had sent in more people, this time with the sole goal to kill you in order to protect the people of Yokohama. Eventually, the Armed Detective Agency was informed, and Fukuzawa Yukichi was forced to dispatch all members available. This team consisted of Osamu Dazai, Kunikida Doppo, and Yosano Akiko. In the end, it was this team that saved the Port Mafia, the civilians of Yokohama, and yourself.

Your power didn’t protect you from the people you hypnotized, so you were a target amongst the chaos, fleeing from your victims, hand clamped over your mouth to prevent the spread of the afflicted. You remember crying as you dodged your victims. You didn’t mean to lose control. But wanting to take it all back wasn’t going to bring the dead back to life.

“Ahh~ So this is the cause of my losing a day off!” it was teasing, a little nasally, and as you backed away from another attack, you saw a man with brown hair dressed oddly in a trench coat and bandages on his arm. He was staring straight at you with a calculating look, but his face was morphed in exasperation and teasing delight.

“If you’re thinking about that being a creative way to die, you can stop now, Dazai.” it was a firm rebuttal which brought your eyes to his figure, standing with his arms crossed and shifting his glare at both you and the bandaged man, you now knew as “Dazai.”

It wasn’t love at first sight, but he was damn attractive.

But back to the matter at hand. It was a correct deduction that you were the cause of the deaths and fighting. After all, you, F/N A. Camus, were standing at the epicenter of chaos crying and unaffected by the apathetic crimes all around. The man, Dazai, for all his teasing, had soft eyes when you used sign language to communicate the condition for you ability.

Anyone who hears me speak will fall under the hypnosis of my ability. Even a cry of pain is enough.

Your sign language was much to be desired, the sentences not flowing as they should, but it got the point across, as Dazai’s eyes sharpened, “Ah, so the madam cannot control her ability.” A snap of his fingers and a wide grin. “Kunikida-kun! If you would be so kind!”

Dazai had no intention of waiting for Kunikida, whom gave an indignant cry of “Ha?” as his partner leisurely strolled towards you, expertly dodging those under the hypnosis of “The Stranger.”

“Oujou-chan~ Please concentrate on Kunikida-kun!” a simple request, you were, after all, already staring at the bespectacled man. “Yosano-san! Please tend to the wounded!”

Before you knew it, Dazai was crouched next to you, blocking your view of the enraged Kunikida, who had used his ability to summon a taser, using it on anyone who attacked him. Warm brown eyes framed by even darker brown locks, then a warm smile, and a poke to your nose. And all of your victims fell to the floor, knocked out and no longer under your ability’s influence.

Surprised, you had shot Dazai a questioning expression. He only grinned, ignoring Kunikida’s furious yelling about being reckless and not making a plan. “My ability. ‘No Longer Human.’ It cancels out a person’s ability.”

Fatigue and exhaustion, and you found yourself in Dazai’s arms crying more, “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry!”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Within the month, you were tested and accepted into the Armed Detective Agency. Working with Dazai and Fukuzawa-san, you were able to control your ability. Dazai had taken to flirting with you, yet still your attentions wandered and lingered on Kunikida, who seemed to avoid you as much as possible.

You thought, that as with Atsushi’s case, Kunikida would eventually warm up to you. That perhaps his aversion towards you was the product of a fierce and stubborn protectiveness.

“Kunikida-san!” You jogged up to the taller man with a stack of papers in your hand, when he turned around, you held the mission reports out to him with a shy smile. “I finished the paperwork for my last few missions!”

His golden eyes merely narrowed as he took the stack of paper from you hands, and without a word, turned around to leave the office. As you watched his back retreat, your smile dropped and your eyes were cast downward. All your interactions with Kunikida were like this. You were always on your best behavior, but he never spoke to you. You got along with everyone else in the office, but only Kunikida remained aloof to your friendship.

The next time you approached him, was after a group mission, when the two of you were alone. It was a few days after the incident with the Azure Messenger. Watching him stare after Sasaki Nobuko had stirred something within you. During that investigation, you’d started coughing, suspecting that you might have come down with a minor cold.

“Kunikida-san?” He had been in the middle of walking out of the agency, as it was nearly ten at night. Your crush stopped, but made no verbal or physical indication to acknowledge you. “Have I done something to offend you? Is there a reason that you don’t seem to like me?” You were sad and desperate. You didn’t want to get too close to Kunikida, after all, your coughing had recently worsened.

“How can I possibly like someone such as you?” it was sharp, and the man you pined after turned to glare at you with disdain, disgust. “Someone who took the lives of more than a dozen innocents. Someone who goes so strongly against my ideals. I can’t do anything but hate you.”

Your breathing hitched as you once against watched his back retreat out the door. Suddenly, the coughing started up again. This time with a fierceness that shook your entire body. It was like something was caught in your throat and you struggled for breath. You started to gag as you felt something in your throat, darkness crept at the edge of your vision. You coughed until you were forced to your knees bent forward with you hands supporting your body from falling. And just when you were sure that you were to pass out in that office alone, the thing in your throat gave away. With a final cough, the thing landed on the wooden floorboards.

And you wanted to cry at how unfair the world was. That night was the first time you coughed up a petal.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hanahaki Disease.

How poetic that it would be love that killed you. More specifically, the unrequited love that slowly choked and poisoned you to death.

It progressed slowly at first. A few petals as it slowly set in that Kunikida did actually hate you. That because you were the cause of so many deaths, you would never be accepted or liked much less loved by the man that held your one-sided affections. And when Kyouka joined… the disease progressed at a faster rate. A few petals became a dozen. A dozen became whole flowers. With the whole flowers, came the stomach pains, the nausea, the vomiting.

Kyouka has murdered as many people as I have. And yet… how can he accept her? Was it because I’m an adult? That a child’s crimes can be forgiven, but my own cannot? Even when we both are unable to control our powers. Bitter thoughts that accompanied the jonquils that left you.

By this time, nearly everyone had caught wind of your nausea and vomiting, displaying worry.

“Y/N-chan? Do you need any medication?” Naomi had asked you, brows scrunched in worry as you threw up for the fourth time that day.

You only shook your head from your position over the garbage can. “No thank you, Naomi-chan. I don’t think medicine will be able to help me.”

From across the room, Kunikida ‘tsked’ and leveled a glare at you. “Typical symptoms of morning sickness. I’d expect nothing less from someone such as you.”

Everyone in the room froze before bursting out in outrage at Kunikida’s comment. It seemed everyone had a complaint for the man, throwing the room into chaos. You couldn’t do anything when you started coughing violently.

Not wanting anyone in the office area to find out about your illness, you silently made your way into the Director’s office, where Fukuzawa sat with a cup of tea at hand. As you closed the door to the office, the Director leveled a comforting and sympathetic expression as you coughed out the flowers. Being the man that he was, Fukuzawa had long since been aware of your condition. He didn’t know who you loved, but he knew that you didn’t have very long.

“Jonquil flowers.” his gravelly voice muttered lowly, grey eyes trained on the white flowers. “They are poisonous, correct?”

You only nodded, “I don’t think I have long.”

“You have not revealed your feelings to the person? Why is that?”

A wry smile. “Would it make a difference?” Your eyes shot up to look the Director in the eyes as you came clean. “Kunikida hates me for I am the antithesis of everything he believes in. If I tell him that I am dying because of my love for him… what then? His disdain for me is so deeply rooted that I doubt he’ll feel anything except pity. And even if he felt guilty, only returning my love would cure me.” Your eyes darkened significantly, “I don’t want love born of guilt. Like some sick mutation of that pure emotion.”

Fukuzawa didn’t look pleased. He felt helpless. It was his job as the Director of the Armed Detective Agency to keep his employees safe. And he felt that by letting you surrender to your disease, was him failing you. “Would you at least seek treatment? The Agency would cover all costs towards the procedure.”

A shake of your head as you played with the flower in your grasp. “I don’t want to forget the feelings. Even if it kills me.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was Dazai who found your body a week later. You’d died peacefully, surrounded by hundreds of blood stained jonquils. Dazai could only hold your body grimly, quickly figuring out the cause of your death and why.

At your funeral, Atsushi, Kyouka, Naomi, Haruno, and Kenji cried. Kunikida could only stare at the flower that Dazai gave him. He had been shot with a pointed glare by the usually suicidal man, not exactly blaming Kunikida, but berating him for the way he’d treated you while alive. But still, you were right. All Kunikida felt was pity and a tinge of regret.

But after all this time, it didn’t matter. You were long gone. And the flowers were all that remained still pleading to the man.

“Love me, Kunikida.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thank you for reading! If you enjoyed my work, please consider buying me a Ko-fi!

[mahkaria]

Of novelists and stray dogs - Chapter 2

On a rainy day 

At the back of the university, whilst the sky cried and rain fell on all windows, stood two people : a teenager and a boy. Although surrounded by books, they barely paid attentions to the objects. The eyebrows of the older were furrowed in frustration.

“Wait Atsushi, are you telling me you spent the evening with three people you didn’t even know? How could you do something so damn stupid?”

“I really didn’t want to. I just didn’t manage to say no.”

“For fuck’s sake, take care of yourself a bit, would you? I don’t want to find you dead one day just because you followed a suspicious person.”

“I won’t, don’t worry.”

Atsushi looked at the blond man in front of him. Kunikida Doppo, the man who had accepted to resolve his education’s shortage. Right now, the teenager was busy obtaining his degree in order to become a teacher.

If not for the two months he had spent as his student, he wouldn’t have thought him to be such an amazing mentor.

It was a frosty day.

Atsushi had now been living in Yokohama for one week. Buying furnitures had been both the best and worst experience of his life. So much possibilities he barely knew what to choose. He didn’t have the money to buy anything fancy but the feeling of control this situation had offered to him was overwhelming.

However, no matter how happy he was, he needed to get back to work if he wanted to keep his independence. Using Internet was still a mystery to him except for sending mails. He had no other choice but to go to the closest library. One of his neighbour, a nice old lady had affirmed him, he could find one popular with students not too far away.

Until now, the orphanage’s library had been enough to learn a decent amount of informations. Enough for his first short stories to be coherent and interesting (he hoped) but he couldn’t rest on it.

He walked into the building, afraid that at any moment someone might order him to go out. No one would, he knew it but integrating it would take a while. The feeling of being an imposter refused to vanish.

I can’t live my whole life thinking everything I do is wrong. I have as much rights as any other person to be alive.

As he was about to go to the history section, a shout startled him. A few meters away stood a blond colossus. A furious blond colossus.

“We are in a library ! A place of knowledge and study, disturbing everyone as you are doing is an insult to all those who want to succeed. So shut the fuck up !”

I should probably stay as far away as possible from this guy , Atsushi thought.

His interlocutors looked at him with an expression akin to someone seeing an exploding volcano. Absolute terror.

Despite his victims’ remorses, the man kept screaming. It reminded him painfully of the headmaster.

I’m definitely not going near him.

A librarian went to see him and ordered him in angry whispers to be quiet. Red blossomed on the man’s ears as he stuttered with embarrassment.

It doesn’t concern me. I need to find books.

He continued his journey and arrived to shelves with old front covers. It seemed to be about north american folklore. How interesting.

Or at least it could be if he was able to reach them. The awful consequences of being under a meter and fifty centimeters. As he struggled on his tiptoes to catch what he wanted, a hand invaded his vision and caught it before handling it to him.

“Thank you very much.”

“Aren’t you a bit young to be here? Do not cause trouble.”

“I-I don’t intend to.”

In front of him stood the man from before, his serious eyes entirely focused on Atsushi. How lucky he was !

“It is a library dedicated to students, you should probably go somewhere else if you’re just looking for something to read.”

“I’m not ! I’m doing researches.”

“Is that so? Alright then.” He didn’t seem to be convinced.

Careful to keep looking at the man in case he started yelling again, he sat to the closest desk and started reading.

“Shouldn’t you be at school at this hour?” The man asked with the same suspicion again.

“I’m not skipping, I just can’t go.”

“I see. Sorry for asking.” He said and also took a chair. Almost immediately he took a notebook out of one his jacket and started writing in it.

“It’s… fine.”

His focus went back to the book. Some of the words didn’t make sense. He wasn’t familiar enough with the american culture to know them however he could almost guess their meaning. One however…

His brows furrowed in confusion. What could be the significance of this one?

“What’s wrong, kid?”

“Nothing, I-”

“Just speak, I’m not going to scold you for asking a question and it’d be annoying to have someone in trouble next to me.”

“I’m just not sure of what it means.”

“Which word?”

“Orora Borealiz?”

“Aurora Borealis, it’s a latin word so you don’t pronounce the s as if was a phonetical z.”

“I see.”

“It’s a natural phenomenon when lights from different colours - especially green - appear on the sky. It only happens in the northern and southern pole and if I remember correctly it happens because photons from the sun interract with the particular atmosphere.”

As the man spoke, Atsushi kept writing what he said. The first thing he had bought after arriving in the city had been a notebook to remember informations and ideas for his stories.

It must have been the right thing to do since his interlocutor looked at him with appreciation.

“Did you understand everything?”

“I think so.”

At the orphanage, most of the books weren’t exactly suited for children. They were donations from people who no longer needed them, hence why school books had found their way to the place. Atsushi had once read one about physics (far too complicated for him to understand everything) but enough to learn about basic particles.

“Do you have any other questions?”

Despite his grumpy behaviour, he still had the air of someone avid to help.

First impressions really are misleading. He isn’t at all how I thought he’d be.

“Do you know books I should read?”

“Well it depends of what you’re interested in.”

“It doesn’t matter. I’ll read anything.”

“Really? Well then there are quite a few books on mathematics which are really interesting.”

“Won’t they be a bit complicated ? No one ever taught anything about it.”

“You’ve never what ? Got maths lessons?”

“Yes?”

The man suddenly rose up and left.

What had happened?

Did I do something wrong? Maybe he doesn’t like being around people who never got any real education.

He looked around. No trace, he had just vanished.

Or at least, that’s what he thought.

A deep bang surprised him. He had come back with a pile of books.

“I think it should be enough.”

“I’m not sure I understand.”

“I can’t let a kid be ignorant of this kind of subject so if you want I can - I can tutor you. Only if you’re motivated, though, I won’t accept any half-assed work.”

“That’s so nice of you ! Thank you so much ! But I don't want to impose...”

“I’m not nice !” He blushed ? “I want to be a teacher so it’s normal for me to practise by mentoring kids so don't worry. My name is Kunikida Doppo by the way.”

“Then, nice to meet you, Kunikida-sensei. I’m Nakajima Atsushi.”

When he heard the honorific “sensei”, Kunikida could only emit a sound which could be compared to a dying whale’s.

“I don’t have the right diploma so it is not right for you to call me “sensei”.”

“Would “senpai” be better?”

“I guess it would be.”

The blush hadn’t subsided which was endearing in a way. Kunikida-senpai could really only be described as an amazing person.

“So anyway, I thought about some questions to evaluate your level and if you’re not able to answer I swear I’ll go punch those who raised you.”

Although quite a violent one.

From here, their relationship had quickly evolved. They'd meet at least thrice a week and worked together. Being the youngest of his class since he was only sixteen, Kunikida tended to be quite isolated from the rest. Tutoring Atsushi was his only consequent social interaction. Exactly like Atsushi who, too focused on his next short stories, barely went outside.

A day, when Atsushi - too lost in his work and worried about the next full moon - had forgotten to eat one too many meal, he had grabbed Atsushi by the scruff of his neck - like a furiously protective cat with his cub - and had brought him to his home. This had also marked the day Atsushi had met Kunikida’s grandmother.  

“One would think you’d be able to take care of yourself.”

“I’m really sorry !”

“Don’t apologize, just make sure it never happens again.” He had huffed.

The old woman had softly giggled before serving him again. Her udons were to die for.

“Listen, next time you meet one of them, just call me. I’ll make sure they don’t hurt you.”

“Ango-san and Oda-san were really nice so I wouldn’t worry too much.”

“And what about the last one? Dazai was it?”

“I don’t know how to describe him? He was a bit weird but I’m sure he’s not that bad.”

“Chuuuuu - yaaaaa ~ Guess what I’ve got !”

“If you’ve stolen one of my hat again, I swear I’ll destroy your annoying face.”

“Such a violent chibi… Why would I want one of your ugly hat anyway apart from burning them? No, no, I have something much more interesting.”

“I don’t want to know.”

Chuuya kept sending his fists into the punching ball, imagining with pleasure it was his partner’s face instead of leather.

The other kept looking at him with shiny and expectant eyes. The bastard could have almost been convincing.

Minutes went away and he quickly grew tired of the other’s presence.

“What the fuck do you want?”

Like a magician very proud of himself, Dazai produced a rectangular object (a book, his mind quickly supplied) from his sleeve.

“Guess who just got a signed copy from your favourite author?”

“Don’t lie, bastard, Tsukishiro-sensei doesn’t participate to book signings.”

“You instantly knew who I was talking about. Chuuya has a celebrity crush.” Dazai singsonged. “How embarrassing.”

“Shut the fuck up, I don’t, I just respect his job.”

Paying attention to such a dumbass would only result in a lowering of his IQ, Chuuya decided, no need to give him more attention. He went back to his training.

It had been a year since he had joined the Port mafia and he was pleased to see his strength and endurance had significantly increased. Probably a consequence of a good diet and a direct access to necessities such as medicines. In opposition to the mackerel, his physical strength could rival anyone and he was decided to keep it that way.

Don’t adopt a pattern while fighting, if you can think about it so can your enemy. You must be as impredictible as possible. Be -

A soft whistling interrupted his thoughts.

“Why the hell are you still here, fucktard?”

“Chuuya hasn’t looked at what I wanted to show him.”

“And I won’t.”

He tried to focus once again.

Dazai wouldn’t stay stil for so long if he didn’t have a real way to annoy him. Just like a worm in a fruit, the thought that - maybe - his meeting with Tsukishiro could be real invaded his mind.

He bit his lip. No way in hell would he give him the satisfaction of -

“Did you really get a signed copy?”

Dazai nodded. “There are even small annotations in it, it’s really cute.”

“Did you steal it?”

“Wow, even for a slug you’re really slow. I told you I met him yesterday.”

“No way in hell am I believing you.”

“If you don’t, ask to Ango and Odasaku they were with me.”

Now that was interesting. Oda Sakunosuke often followed Dazai’s shenanigans without even noticing but Prof Specs didn’t. The guy was far too stuck up. Chuuya even doubted he knew what a joke was.

“Give me Sakaguchi’s number.”

“As you wish ~”

He quickly dialed it. “Sakaguchi Ango, how can I help you?” A very tired voice answered.

Did the guy even sleep?

“Hey, prof Specs, I just wanted to know something.”

“Nakahara-kun, let me guess, Dazai-kun told you about our meeting with Tsukishiro-san.”

“He did, that’s bullshit, right?”

“Not at all. I was as surprised as you are - for such a young kid to be a writer - but yes, we did meet him.”

“Understood, thanks.”

Behind him, he could hear Dazai snort as he hanged up.

That’s all that was needed for him to explode.

“Why the hell did it have to be you !? I hope you didn’t bother - nevermind, it‘s you, of course you bothered him.”

“How mean. I acted like a perfect gentleman, look, he only wrote nice things : “It’s been a pleasure to meet you, Dazai-san. I hope we’ll meet again soon.”’

“That’s bullshit.”

“How mean, if you keep acting that way I won’t introduce you to each other.”

“Do you think I care ?” He yelled.

“O I think you do. That’s why I’m going to milk this situation for all it’s worth.” The asshole smiled.

“Try it if you dare, I’ll fucking punch you in the face.”

“As if you can. Chibi is far too predictable.”

“Let’s see if you still think after I sent you in a wall.”

“I’m so sca-”

Before Dazai could give his usual snarky answer, Chuuya jumped toward him, ready to turn his threats into actions.

In a quick step to the side, Dazai managed to avoid him.

It only resulted in a broken wall.

“You’re such a violent little dwarf.”

“Shut the fuck up !”

“Make me.”

“Well if you’re asking for-”

“WHAT DO YOU BOTH THINK YOU’RE DOING?”

A beautiful almost ethereal woman entered the training in furious steps. Her face as red with anger as her kimono.

“Ane-san, he started it !”

“What ? Already having memory troubles at your age. It’s obviously your fault, slug.”

“I’m not the one who bro-”

“Stop acting like children right now ! I want you to clean this mess and this place better be in a perfect place when I come back. Am I being clear?”

“I’m an executive, you can’t give me orders anymore, Ane-san.”

“I have a meeting to attend to, Ane-san.”

“I said : Am I clear?” She repeated, the usual glow which usually announced Golden Demon’s apparition all around her.

Dazai and Chuuya, being the brave soul they were, both reacted as they usually did in this kind of situation.

“Yes, Ane-san.” They chorused.

“That’s what I thought. Start cleaning.”

After two hours of work, Atsushi walked home a bag full of exercises to do for their next meeting. His brain was fuzzy in the best way possible. For a kid who had never been to a real school, this situation could almost be called heavenly.

His thoughts were interrupted by big drops on his face. It was still raining a lot and the bad weather had even gained in intensity. On his way, he crossed the shopping arcade. Because of the meteorological conditions, there was hardly anyone here. A strange mist had even started to spread all around. Clap.

Clap.

The sound of expensive shoes touching the ground.

Atsushi turned back.

No one…

Yet he could smell it. A sweet but metallic scent which spread like a toxic cloud. Where did the smell of blood come from?

He kept walking, his footsteps faster despite his tentative to remain calm.

I’m being paranoid, there is no one. Just breathe.

A soft chuckle.

He looked behind him but still nothing. What…

He froze.

A few meters away stood a man he had never seen before with long white hair and red eyes.

“So I have finally found you.” It was but a mere whisper yet still hit him like a thunderclap.

The beast inside of him ordered him to run away but his body no longer obeyed him. It was only when the man was so close he could almost distinguish his teeth, that energy suddenly came back to him.

He had a distinguishable expression of pure bliss on his face. As if seeing Atsushi was the single greatest event of his life. Like he couldn’t wait to destroy him.

It was all he needed to get the control of his body back.

He ran.

His hands still reeking of cleaning products, Dazai Osamu stood in front of his boss’ office. Washing the training area had been quite an annoying task especially with Chuuya trying to drop water on him every second.

“You can come in, Dazai-kun.” A sickeningly sweet voice announced.

To anyone who didn’t know his owner, it almost could have passed for a caring father’s tone. However, it was a widely known fact that monsters didn’t have emotions.

Dazai knew it from first-hand experience.

He went in.

“You wanted to see me, Boss.”

“Thank you for coming so quickly.” As if he had the choice. “A rather… concerning fact came to my attention not too long ago.”

“Is it about Kinoshita Kin’s health?”

“Indeed, one of my spies informed him he had met an unfortunate end.”  

Kinoshita had been one of the most well-known ability user of Yokohama. Not because of his power but thanks to his fortune. The man was so rich it literally made salivate all gangs which were desperate to develop.

“They’ll want to get the hand on his money.”

“Glad you understand, Dazai-kun. I hope you know what it means.”

So much money would lead organisations on the warpath. It would eventually disturb the Port mafia’s business which they couldn’t allow.

“I’ll make sure my subordinates are ready to act when things start heating up.”

“It should be fine, I tasked the Colonel to take care of it but you never know what might happen so be ready, Dazai-kun. I also want you to take Chuuya-kun in your team for the time being, you’ll have to work together if things don’t go our way.”

Damn it. Why was this slug everywhere?

The colonel, a codename given to an executive who had once been part of the military, was known as one of the most powerful ability user (apart from the gremlin) so it should be fine. Why did he have to bother with Chuuya for the timebeing?

“Understood, Boss.”

“Don’t make such a debjected face, Chuuya-kun and you get along so well !”

They obviously had quite a different definition of the expression “get along” but whatever.

“I’ll go back to my duties then.”

“So soon. Don’t leave, Dazai-kun ! Elise-chan went to see Kouyou-kun and I’m so lonely right now.”

“I’m sorry to hear it but I have work.”

“So go take care of it and have a nice day !”

“I will, boss.”

He’ll never understand why Mori insisted on keeping his amiable mask in front of him.

Atsushi was franctically looking for his phone.

The man was still following him, he could feel it.  Although his silhouette had faded, his dark obsessive presence hadn’t. The tiger jostled in his mind, ordering him to let him gain control.

His phone seemed to have transformed into water. No matter how hard he tried he just couldn’t grab it.

Finally, with a shaky sob he managed to catch it.

He quickly opened it and called the first number he found. The only ones were from people he knew he could trust : Kunidika, his grandmother and …

“Nakajima, what’s wrong?”

He had totally forgotten about Oda-san.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t want to call-”

“Don’t worry, it doesn’t matter. Did you need anything?”

He quickly bit back the sob who desperately wanted to split his throat apart. He didn’t want to worry the adult.

“Tell me where you are. I’m coming.”

“You don’t need to-”

“Nakajima. Tell me where you are.”

“Oniyuri street. In the alley close to the clothes shop.”

“I’ll be here in a few minutes.”

“Th- Thank you.”

Why was he so nice toward him ? He didn’t deserve it.

An awful, insidious feeling grew in his stomach. The mist kept coming closer from him like tendrils. A relentless predator who wouldn’t leave him alone no matter what.

Flashbacks from the orphanage resurfaced.

Don’t let anyone touch you, it’ll only lead to pain.

He sank into the alleyway.

His heart beat loudly in his ears. The pressure was unbearable. As if every part of his body wanted to break his skin. He couldn’t even feel his tears fall out his eyes.

Hands suddenly grabbed his arms.

On instinct, he kicked the one who had caught him. His eyes jolted upside.

“It’s me, Nakajima.”

“O-Oda-san. I’m so sorry.”

God, he really was pathetic, wasn’t he? Panicking for nothing and kicking the one he had called for help.

“Don’t worry, it’s alright. Can you stand?”

His legs shook like those of a crazy puppet. No doubt he’d fall if he even tried.

“Stay still. I’m going to help you.”

As careful as possible, he carried Atsushi almost cradling him.

Why are his hands so warm? Atsushi wondered, his mind fuzzy.

“I’m going to bring you to your flat. Can you tell me where it is?”

Atsushi nodded.

Oda’s face was contorted with worry. So he sometimes did give up his cold expression.

A hand softly parted away the sweaty bangs stuck to his face.

“Everything will be alright.”

“Thank you.”

No one had ever touched him in such a kind manner. He both wanted to run away and to never let go.

As Oda went out of the alleyway, carrying the young kid as carefully as he could, his eyes moved to the muddy ground. The rain had washed every trace of people’s move yet…

Footprints stood in front of him. Far too big to belong to a kid and too unfamiliar to be his. Far too recent since they had barely started fading.  

Someone was here.

[harukatomoe]

Frenemenic Love (Dazai x Reader)

Frenemenic Love

It hit him like a forceful wave; so many good memories pouring in at once, words that he held dearly for years flooding in, little gestures he reminisced; yet all he heard was, "traitor".

❣  Flashback  ❣

"Dazai! Wait up!" A sweet voice called, followed by the sound of small footsteps chasing him. The little boy peered over his shoulder, watching as a small girl with (Hair Colour) locks reach out to him. He grabbed her hand, pulling her up onto the ledge he was nested upon. Once he did pull her up, he placed his finger on her lips, pressing his forehead against hers. A small smile on his face, admiring his giddy friend.

"Shhh..." he whispered, covering her mouth. The two were hiding from their other friend, a red-haired boy. It was odd that (First Name) couldn't keep silent, only small breathy giggles kept leaving those soft lips of hers. "You don't want him to find us, do you?"

She shook her head no, "Then shhh, (First Name)-chan." He gave her a kind smile, one which he didn't do often; one which he didn't even know he could do. She nodded, obeying what he had said. He held her close to him, not like she minded nor cared. The two watched as their other friends called out, looking around. Once their friend looked their direction, they both sunk down, laying flat against each other.

He whispered another soft hushing sound, she hummed lightly in response. The only thing audible was the other's footsteps and light breathing. Not too soon after, the footsteps passed and he was gone. No words were spoken; you laid on his arm as his hand held your head, your hand grasping onto his shirt.

Dazai didn't want this to end, but, you changed that.

"Do you think he's gone?" You peered over the ledge slowly. Dazai rolled onto his stomach as well, answering your question. "Yeah."

"Do you think he'll be back?"

"No."

A sigh of relief escaped your lips as a big smile rose onto your face, "You're really amazing at hiding, Da-chin!" You exclaimed, grabbing his hands. "You have to show me all these hiding spots, okay? Promise me?"

"Don't hurt him!" Of all people coming to his rescue, he expected you the least. He was hoping you wouldn't come, that you were not the person that was going to save him from his kidnapping. You weren't alone no, but your backup was way far behind because you rushed to save your friend.

"This is what the Port Mafia is made of? All they could send is one mere girl? What a joke!" The group of men around laughed, scoffing at you. Dazai's emotionless expression did not falter, but on the inside, why did it have to be you? Nor did you serious expression falter.

Shortly after, they started throwing taunts at you.

"What's wrong, little girl? Aren't you going to kick my ass?"

"Be careful, boss. She might just do it!"

"Oh! I'm so scared!"

Why did the Port Mafia even agree to make a deal with these low lives? It remained unknown.

"If that's what you're asking for," you finally broke the painful silence, shutting their mouths for a moment. A dark, sickened smile that complimented your dead eyes sent shivers down their spines; all stood petrified. "who shall I start with?"

You patted down your sleeves, ridding of the dust that clung as you threw down your last opponent. Your eyes wandered around slowly, watching the multiple bodies defeated on the ground. You let out a small sigh.

"Why did you come?"

His voice broke through the numerous amounts of subconscious groans.

"You shouldn't have come."

You turned towards the source, huffing as you leaned on one hip, placing a hand on that hip. "What do you mean, we're-"

"You could've been hurt," he wasn't showing any signs of gratitude nor kindness. Everything was pure disapproval. "as your superior-"

"Cut that crap! You could've been killed!" Dazai stiffened, not expecting any ounce of your retort. With your fists and jaws clenched, he could tell that you wouldn't listen to anything else. Yet, he still did.

"You are the one that could have been killed, look at you."

At the end of the brawl, you were victorious. Though, you were only lucky to make it out with some cuts and bruises, and a gunshot wound to the side, not too bad though.

You didn't have an ability or anything special like those "gifted" with it, no, instead you were blessed with serious martial art skills and surprisingly, shooting skills. You wouldn't call it anything special, you were quick and stealthy like that of a calico; yet you hit with every power you had like a ram.

You were young. You were badass. That's why the Port Mafia kept you.

"Stay home next time." He ordered, "I don't need you to come and rescue me." His words were cold, suddenly pushing you away from him like you were some complete stranger.

Dazai turned his back to you, making his way towards the exit of the blood-stained room. You knew exactly what he was talking about, but you weren't going to take it from him.

You ran and grabbed him by the collar, shoving him against the nearest pillar.

"What is wrong with you?!" You shouted, wincing at the sharp pain when you exerted your anger. Dazai's eyes widened a little, unable to comprehend anything to say in return. It wasn't like him, to be surprised. He was intelligent and strategized. Yet, whenever it came to you, he could never tell what you were gonna do next.

"I came all the way here because I care about you, Dazai! You're my friend!" There you went using that word. He didn't know what to make of the situation, always unprepared for what you had to say or do next.

Dazai jolted a little when he felt your head against his chest, with you grasping desperately at his coat. "...I care about you."

"I can't come with you, Dazai."

He didn't understand. He was confused.

"I can't come with you, Dazai."

He didn't want to understand.

"Dazai, I can't-"

"Can't or won't?"

There was a long pause between you two. Your pursed lips and your sympathetic eyes were being watched; watched by the man you called your friend- no, he wasn't anymore. Not after he asked you to leave the mafia with him. Not after his expression turned solemn.

"I won't." You yanked your hand away from his tight hold, backing away slowly. You shook your head, your sympathy turned dark as you felt like the person you once knew was no longer.

"I won't. I'm not coming with you."

"Wh-" he stopped himself. He was hurt. Gravely hurt. After losing one of his friends, he wanted you to come with him. To leave and become a better man, a better person with you. For you.

And as his "friend", he was expecting an agreement.

"I'm not sorry." You stepped away, "I won't, Dazai."

❣  End of flashback  ❣

"Traitor." There was no sign of any good memories that you remembered, it all had seemed like they've been buried underneath four years of dour memories. What you felt was the very betrayal of one of the most important people you knew.

What he felt, however, was the bittersweet memories you two shared. Even if you were the enemy, and he had to do something, it was that, that was stopping him.

Although, it didn't stop him from using his usual façade.

"(First Name)-chan! It's so good to see you!" He clapped his hands together, smiling big at you. From what you could see, his two subordinates who were by his side, were ready to counterattack any move you had.

"You look like you haven't changed at all!" He lied, you changed a lot. You were much more mature, not only in personality, but physical appearance as well. He could see it, the difference between your aura back then and now, you filled with undying detest.

You eyes had no light, your expression had no life. Just the full appearance of someone who was ready to kill him. The full appearance of someone with longed history with him.

You were silent, eyes piercing into the soul of those you were focused on. It scared them, even Dazai, just a little. As Dazai's unwavering masked taunts died, you made your move.

Starting off with the youngest one, kicking him with a foot to his gut, sending him crashing into a wall far across the room.

"Brat!" Dazai's other subordinate broke his stance, soon returning to fight you.

"Doppo Poet! Grappling gun!" He shouted, pointing the grappling device at you. You didn't know what he was trying to accomplish, but you didn't let that change your goal; weaken their forces.

The moment he pulled the trigger, you dove out of the way, swinging around a pole to come back around to jump kick him. Not too soon after, he dropped far away as well.

"Kunikida-kun!"

Now, you were only left with him.

In a second, you roundhouse kicked an area near him, hoping you would feel something being hit by you. However, he leaned back enough to dodge your attack. Once you swung back around, you used the momentum that kick gave you to throw a punch, which was also avoided. Resulting in Dazai gripping your dominant arm, stopping it.

"Your attacks are sharper, but still the same."

"Tch." You gritted your teeth, using the momentum left to make out a backflip, kicking his jaw in the process. You felt the grip on your arm lighten and used that chance to jump away from him. Landing on all fours like a cat.

Dazai landed on his back, coughing up blood. It didn't faze him for too long, but he was undeniably caught off guard. He wasn't sure if he should be impressed or cautious of your change.

"You're the one who hasn't changed." Disagreeing with his previous claim. You got up and made your way towards his laying body. He wanted to move, but he couldn't, hearing your footsteps coming closer, he was unsure of what was to come; just like always.

You grabbed the collar of his shirt, pulling him up close to your face.

"Kill Dazai," another order that was given. It echoed in your head.

Kill Dazai.

You could finally see Dazai, face-to-face as you two were mere inches apart. You raised a fist, propping it, ready to beat him to death.

There was no intention that was seen that you were gonna let him go, with his half-lidded eyes, he closed them. He closed them to prepare to pay for back then. Not for the Port Mafia, but you.

"Why?" He heard.

"Kill Dazai." It echoed another time.

No. You had other plans in mind before doing so.

Dazai heard a loud sigh, the sound of your fist dropping to your side, the release of his collar. He slowly opened his eyes, seeing a face that wore something completely different than a few minutes ago.

"Why, Dazai?" And yet again, he didn't understand, he was confused.

You didn't hate him. You never did. The thought never entered your mind. Yet, why were you filled with so much anger? So much desire to hurt him? So much pain?

"Why did you leave?" You allowed him to sit up, as you stepped away like before. "Why did you leave, Dazai?"

It took a moment after Dazai's bloody cough for him to reply, "Why did you let me? Why didn't you come with me?" He too, was filled with questions that were held on for four years.

It was the word of the hour; Why.

"...I...couldn't leave." It was vague. It was a feeling. "I couldn't find myself leaving." You slowly lowered to the ground on your knees, your gaze focused on the ground.

Your chest felt heavy, just by releasing a little of your feelings of his absence, you weren't ready for what was next. Four years of silence, concentration, built-up anger, bottled up sorrow; it was all coming out now.

"I...grew up in the mafia. It grew as my home. I couldn't leave." He finally understood. Even if it was the simplest answer given, he finally understood part of the reason why you didn't run away with him.

Though, a part of him was still heartbroken. The closeness you two had when you were young, up until the point you two were young adults, he knew you didn't feel the same way; he could tell by your words and actions, yet Dazai Osamu couldn't stop falling for you.

"Dazai," you called, snapping him out of his thoughts.

"do you know what happened when you left?" He stayed silent, allowing you to continue.

You swallowed the lump in your throat, almost finding it hard to continue due to the fact it felt dry, "I..." you bit your bottom lip, "...cried myself to sleep for weeks. I didn't...eat for days. I..-" you choked back on the tears that suddenly broke out, unable to go on, unable to even make up any words.

"What?"

Was the one word that Dazai could say. How? Why- Why were you crying?

There you were, on the ground, on your knees, face in the palm of your hands, crying your heart out. Your throat became dry quickly, all due to your constant crying that you promised yourself you wouldn't do again.

Soon, you felt arms underneath yours, opening yourself towards him. Finding yourself in a tight embrace; through this gesture, you felt his pain as well, four long years of each other's absence and it was all expressed through a hug. He held you desperately like you were going to leave again, or that you were going to slip out of his grasp; you held him like it was the end of the world, like you were going to spend more long years without him.

With your face buried into his chest and arms wrapped around his waist, you didn't want it to end.

And there you two were, unexpectedly in each other's arms.

There he was, murmuring how he felt without you. Murmuring soft words to stop your sadness.

There you were, uncontrollably crying to show him how much you missed him. Grasping onto him, scared.

"(First Name)," he whispered, stroking your hair. "Come to the agency with me." Even though he knew your previous answers, and why you refused. He still asked.

And your answer again, was:

"I'm sorry..." you clutched tighter,

"I will, Dazai."

End