#and god damn cabals ruin looked so good | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

jimmythejiver · 3 years ago

Text

For the first time in a long time I went to the movies in forever and then to Target. At Target I see some Godiva bars on discount yellow tags and I was ecstatic until I read 70% Cacao, Dark, Salted Caramel and was deflated.

Anyway that's how I felt about seeing The Green Knight. What you thought this was about chocolate?

No see since the pandemic I've been back on my perennial King Arthur kick. I've for a long time since I was a young preteen thought, someday I too will write my own King Arthur epic and it'll be gay, magical, gangster and culty too, but for now I'll make up my own stories for practice and then with every story I got attached too, it got too involved and convoluted to the point that when it came down to actually writing a novel, I threw it all away and made a space opera I only planned in two weeks and wrote in a month. Anyway...so now I've been writing this very gay, magical, gangster and culty take on Final Fantasy XV with my boyfriend and just fell in love with Somnus Lucis Caelum who nobody has any insight about him than to make him the Mordred to Ardyn's Arthur, which is a strange flex, but okay, I thought about what if I wrote a Dark Age prequel about Ardyn and Somnus, but Ardyn becomes king and Somnus his shogun and they play games of seduction and power because I'm twisted like that. Anyway...I was like I'm never going to write this and I have to keep making up characters based on FFXV characters and King Arthur tropes because there's not a lot of stories that take place during the Dark Ages, it's always some Roman Empire story, or High Middle Ages and FFXV gave no room for either society to happen after the fall of Solheim and the rise of King Somnus...so we left with Dark Ages, y'all, the King Arthur comparisons are obvious, but Ardyn is no Arthur and Somnus is no Mordred, Aera is only Guenevere if you make up an affair with Somnus, Gilgamesh is no Bedwyr/Bedivere, but uh...they both amputees and the oldest companions to their respective kings so...I guess. Anyway making an ancestor of Cor Leonis and deciding well he's Owain/Yvain, or am Ignis type as idk Sir Cai/Kay I guess, they both cook, but Cai's more like Seifer Almasy than any FF character... Anyway I'm losing people.

My plan was to just scrap the FFXV prequel, leave my Somnus ideas into Overtime (a gangster and gods story) and just plan an actual King Arthur adaptation. I'd have King Arthur the treasure hunter, leader of a warband turned founder of Camelot who fights giants, giant cats and dogheads, but also fights King Claudas of the Franks and King Aelle of the Saxons and Cerdic a Briton who puts in his lot with the Saxons, etc. It'd been a a glorified turf war, meanwhile Arthur's gotta make alliances with King Pelles, The Fisher King and his strange cult he's founded because, why yes I find the ends justifies the means prophecy of the Holy Grail Quest very culty because Christianity then does not resemble it now. Meanwhile you got the secondary plots of Mordred, Gawain, Lancelot, Percival, Tristam and other's going on because they matter and too many modern King Arthur stories sideline the knights.

So many have always sidelined Mordred as a final boss eldritch abomination in mortal flesh conceived of sin and give him no personality, or complex motives, or even just a relationship with Arthur. I also have noticed the general sidelining of Lancelot, or give him a chad villain upgrade if you must include him at all, and the villainizing of Gawain to the point that you don't even have to have Mordred, or Agravain as a catalyst shit stirrer in court, just slap Gawain's name on Liam Neeson in a top knot and you're good. Mordred can just be a child offscreen until last act...fuck that, while Morgan Le Fay can either be a villainess plotting her cabal through men, or a well-intentioned, ineffectual idiot. Fuck that.

Now Hollywood just be doing King Arthur first acts that suck ass, only for said director to get rewarded failing upwards by giving this same jerk the Aladdin remake. The tonally shitty, crammed in blockbuster mess of a cliche heroe's journey that sucks.

With that background I was excited for The Green Knight. I read an illustrative version as a kid, I read Tolkien's translation as a teenager, I read Simon Armitage's superior, but with liberties taken translation. I was prepped to go knowing that indie, or not they were going to make changes to weave the disjointed poem together. I'm excited that because this movie exists Project Guternberg's finally thrown Jessie Weston's prose rendition up on their website. I'll be reading that at some point when this blows over.

The movie adaptation makes a lot of...choices, many I wouldn't love, but would forgive had their been a payoff. There was none.

The journey was fine, the cinematography was a breath of fresh air after crappy slo mo, glossy action scenes ruined another. Guys, I don't think I want to see a Zack Snyder Excalibur, it'll marginally be better than Guy Ritchie, but that ain't saying anything. Leave Excalibur to the post-Star Wars 80s where it is impeccable for it's time. I liked Green Knight's breathable pacing, it's color palette's in the forests and mountains made up for the muddy grey of every Ridley Scott send up in the castles and villages in every other Dark Ages/Medieval story in the last I don’t know since the shitty 00′s. For all the dark tones when there was blues, greens, yellows or reds, they were vibrant in this movie to contrast the gloom of Britain. The soundtrack was good. This isn't all what makes a movie, but it enhances it so let's get to the story and what I did and didn't like.

Things I Liked: Gawain is still a novice in his career The Costume Dressing Everyone pronounces Gawain's name different. I pronounce it like Gwayne, or Guh Wayne, but here you got Gowen (like Owen), Gowan (like Rowan), or even Garlon who I'm pretty sure is the Fisher King's heir in some versions of that Arthurian story, so uh... The reference to Arthur slaying 960 men with his bare hands (Nennius for the win!) The Waste Land that is implied to be a site of a battle (an important aspect of the Arthurian landscape) The Fox companion No long grisly, drawn out hunting scenes. The Fox lives! No misogynist speeches

Things I'm Mixed: This being a dream, is the magic real? Are the giants? Is the Green Knight a figment of Gawain's imagination from a spell Morgan casted in him to hallucinate? Is Lord and Lady also figments? It's...a way to interpret the poem, but lazy and I don't see why it's got to all fantasy, or all dream...this movie makes it too vague you're stuck picking one camp than to accept it's a fantasy with dream and hallucinatory sequences.

Things I'm Meh: Morgan Le Fay as Gawain's mom. Look I fucking hate Morgause as a character and these two get merged and steal each other's aspects so much at this point the difference is who did they marry, King Urien or King Lot? Both are attributed to being Mordred's mom, Mordred is Gawain's brother...both practice magic depending on certain incarnations, both love and hate Arthur their brother and are in conflict with him. Saint Winifred. I actually liked this sequence, but I don't appreciate her as the tacked on wife in the later dream sequence as like...a contrast between the wife you should marry than the whore next door you don't respect anyway? I don't even know what lesson I'm supposed to get out of the damn dream sequence, or any of it? That Gawain should've married his girlfriend and then he'd be a just ruler? That he shouldn't be king? That he'd never have to make the same heartless, impartial choices? I don't know, he seemed like a king doing king shit because guess what? It never gets easier. Wars will be waged. The world didn't become better because he married the right woman, respected her and lived in obscurity. The world didn't become better because he made her his queen. We certainly don't know the world would be better Gawain had his head chopped off and dead XP They never reveal the Lord and the Green Knight as one and the same because of this shit.

Things I Hated: Arthur withdraws from the challenge because he's old. In poem he takes it on and Gawain takes it so he don't have to and he finds himself more disposable than the king. Gawain only takes the challenge because of arrogance. Arthur and Gawain had no prior personal relationship. I'd not have hated this so much if it wasn't compounded by it cancelling out the first two things. Gawain is portrayed as having no respect for his woman, or any woman, maybe his mother? He has to be pushed by Winifred to regain her head. Gawain is portrayed as arrogant, covetous and ready to pass the buck, or the bare minimum than have any honor or decency. It didn't matter the kid in the wasteland was shithead bandit, the way Gawain acted towards him, when he gets robbed, it almost feels like he deserved it and Gawain doesn't learn a damn lesson. I'll admit him taking the sword to cut his ropes and cutting his hands was a neat sequence, it shows him go from stupid, to almost clever and having will to survive...you know traits he had in the poem, but he stops showing these traits or growing. Basically Gawain has to be dragged kicking and screaming to help people and shows no fortitude when facing temptation, or when showing respect towards others, it's exhausting. You don't make this kind of journey story without character growth. Why are you skipping this? Also is it just me, or is this like when you take Frank Miller Batman and transport him onto a Bill Finger story? This is at best Thomas Malory Gawain (and this is charitable) transported on the earlier Pearl Poet's story. Stop it. It's not tonally correct and goes at odds with the story and the set up characterization you'd need to tell it. Speaking of which, you know how I get through the oof... of Liam Neeson Gawain in Excalibur? By pretending he Agravain instead. Here...I don't even think Gawain could pass as Mordred in spite of his covetous nature, lust and entitlement. Why? because I don't think even Mordred is this dumb to warrant this hubris. Essel being invented as a tacked on love interest just to be shit on utterly and for what? I don't think I have much commentary here as there is no Essel I'm aware of to compare, or stack up. I just notice this trope of like...usually if you include a sex worker in Hollywood she often has a heart of gold, she often has her own sense of values that goes at odds with society, but is more true and less hypocritical than a privileged lady’s. I thought that's what they would've done with the added trope of back at home sweetheart to contrast and pit her against the despicable femme fatale of Lady Bertilak and her adultery and her ladyship...and I'm glad they didn't...but you did nothing with Essel than to shit on her for existing when you made her exist, you know. Lady Bertilak being portrayed as the seductress devil incarnate. Look I know adultery is a touchy taboo, but uh her and Gawain hit it off in the poem, dammit! Her values and his values come to clash, but here it's played off as Gawain is stupid and covetous and Lady Bertilak wants to prove something because...? If my brother's theory that she's a figment of Morgan Le Fay's magic, then I'll take this as a lesson of Gawain is impulsive and covetous and his mom knows it, but he don't want to fuck his mom, but he wants her power, and Morgan wants to teach him a lesson... I guess. Hey we don't have misogynist speeches in this movie, but we'll make sure to have the movie drip with it with no point, or commentary. Pass. Lord guilting, extracting and initiating the same sex kiss and only once. Poem automatically better that Gawain don't have to keep being reminded to keep his part of the bargain and he does it willingly more than once. What he doesn't do is give up his belt...gods how did we get more homophobic as a society that the homoeroticism here is worse? Catholics of the middle ages officially had no issue doing same sex, passionate kissing until it lead to sex. The Ending: The gods damn ending. In the movie as is, Gawain waits to uphold his end of the bargain and get his head chopped off. He imagines, even though we don't get any fuzzy or distortion to indicate this is a dream, but I already knew this was coming, he runs away and comes home, is regarded a hero, he sees his lady, takes her from behind and if you saw Brokeback Mountain (I didn't, but DJ has) you know this is a sign of disrespect to women. He gets her knocked up, pays her off for the kid she wants to keep, he is crowned king, marries the ghostly saint lady he helped retrieve her head earlier from a lake in the movie (this right here is the damn tip off). There's no more dialogue by this point and everything is montaging, so you know by now it's a dream, though nothing is out of focus. He rules as a heartless king, his whore son dies from war he waged, he has a daughter, his wife dies. Gawain then takes off the belt that would've saved his life and his head falls off. This would've been the one good twist, except... In this sequence of events he never had his head cut off so uh... now we back in present day. He decides not to bitch out, Green Knight in a sexy way is like "now off with your head," movie cuts to credits with no resolve...uh what the fuck? What the fuck? This is not good. You wasted the one twist in your dream when idk, you could've...

How I'd fix it: No dream sequence at all. No Incident At Owl Creek twist. Gawain comes home a hero and survivor of this game and ordeal. He wears this belt of shame. He becomes a well-renowned knight, but he bears a shame. One day he goes to take off his belt and his head falls off because he cheated to get this belt and to survive this encounter. There. Done. Improved your high concept movie that couldn't play any of the lessons straight from the damn poem without making everyone an asshole for no reason! Ugh! But nope you had to end it on we don’t know if Gawain lives or dies...because...it's dream magic made from his momma's witchcraft...?

Last Thoughts So then post-credits scene because Marvel because Pirates Of The Caribbean existed. A white girl who looks nothing like Gawain's daughter we see who didn’t pay off, or any child I can remember through this whole movie picks up King Arthur's crown that dream Gawain inherited and puts it on her head. Who is this girl? Are we gonna have an indie equivalent of of the Marvel Movie Universe/Universal Horror Monsters thing with ancient British legends? We gonna get a Life Of Saint Patrick next that crosses over? I don't know. What is this?

4 notes · View notes

gibberingcultist · 4 years ago

Text

The Forgotten Age

We think we know the history of the Earth, but there are secrets that lie beyond our reckoning and truths that could undo our entire understanding of the universe. When renowned historian Alejandro Vela discovers one of these secrets, the ruins of an ancient and forgotten Aztec city, it sets into motion a plot that could unravel the very fabric of time.

Designers: Matthew Newman Artists: Andreas Adamek, Justin Adams, W. T. Arnold, Borja Pindado Arribas, Cristi Balanescu (cover), + 55 more! Players: 1-4 (best at 3 per BGG). But I would say Arkham Horror LCG is always best at 2 players. Playtime: 60-120 minutes per scenario. BGG Weight: 3.86 / 5 Mechanisms: Action Point Allowance System, Cooperative Play, Deck / Pool Building, Hand Management, Role Playing, Variable Player Powers

I am so far behind schedule on all these Arkham Horror LCG expansions and mythos pack reviews. The Dream-Eaters Cycle was recently released and already FFG has two more Arkham Horror LCG box expansions planned for the near future. The Innsmouth Conspiracy and potentially something called The War of the Outer Gods. We shall see if that second title is accurate or not in due time. Either way I can already see the money draining from my wallet like venom from a serpent’s fangs.

This will actually be my second time playing through The Forgotten Age expansion. The first time was with a party of three and we had no idea what we were getting ourselves into. I found my first overall experience with TFA to be a incredibly frustrating. It was a grueling, torturous journey through the Mexican rain forest. We picked all the wrong supplies for all the wrong characters it seemed.

So after it was all said and done, I was pretty sure that I wasn’t ever going to play this expansion again. But with recently finishing The Circle Undone and not having all the mythos packs for the Dream-Eaters Cycle in my possession, I caved and returned to base camp to go on the expedition all over again. This time with a better idea of what will be needed. Characters with very high agility and well…. blankets. Why didn’t my first expedition group take basic bedding with them?! I’m surprised we even had boots on our feet, we were so unprepared for survival in the outdoors. Hopefully the second time through will be a little smoother.

So as I already mentioned, knowing how important agility is for your investigators; my girlfriend and I selected the two investigators from the The Forgotten Age campaign with the highest agility (feetsies). These two also seemed to have the highest potential for the most bonus actions in a round, which is always a good thing to have in this god-forsaken game. We chose Ursula Downs and Finn Edwards. We can’t help but think that Finn is really just allowing himself to be employed by Ursula to get himself away from some sort of shady business dealings back home. Or to make a hefty profit selling all of our equipment and provisions. Because why else wouldn’t we have blankets?! I swear that stuff is getting stolen from under us.

“I have had it with these motherfucking snakes in this motherfucking jungle!” The pit vipers aren’t too bad as long as you are as spry and nimble as Ursula and Finn. We were able to stay ahead of the sneks by constantly moving and clearing each location of clues as quickly as possible. The Boa was a bigger concern as he was hunting us through most the scenario. We don’t plan on killing anything with vengeance points. IF we can help it that is. Neither of us really had any weapons readied during this scenario anyway. Just the trench coat on our backs and the track shoes on our feet. We were bouncing all over the jungle like gummy bears hopped up on Ayahuasca juice (is that a thing?).

Once confronted by Ichtaca, Keeper of the Etzli, we really had no choice but to parlay with her. I’m not sure why Alejandro Vela is so opposed to working with the locals (at this point in the game). Sounds like he’s part of the White Savior Industrial Complex. We discovered the Etzli ruins, thanks to Ichtaca and left behind a wake of snakes (very much alive mind you) and watchful Guardians. Rushing exploration and clue gathering was the way to go for this scenario. Very thematic and fun.

In this first scenario, one gets introduced to the exploration deck. Where one could potentially lose his/her movement actions based on what cards are randomly drawn from a small shuffled deck. A deck consisting of a handful of treacheries mixed in with a variety of potentially discoverable locations. I guess I don’t mind the exploration deck mechanic. More times than not, we will unluckily draw all the treachery cards rather quickly. So we take the explore action early knowing full well that we are going to draw treachery cards. After all the treachery cards have been randomly drawn and discarded, THEN we can explore without fear or consequence. And that’s a great feeling.

Welp. So much for trying to maintain zero vengeance points. Yig’s fury went from 0 to 5 in just one scenario. We were rapidly overwhelmed with serpent humanoids and barely got out of the Etzli temple with the Relic of Ages in hand. It’s almost as if investigators were meant to die/lose this scenario. Ursula suffered a mental trauma after being hounded by Yig’s minions every step of the way. Her treachery card was what did her in though. She was unable to heed the Call of the Unknown after taking such a beating from the treachery filled exploration deck.

We both found this scenario too frustrating. The difficulty ramped up to 11 and we were still ill prepared for such things. None of our weapons were even drawn during this game, so once again we just had to keep moving. Trying our best to stay ahead of the wave of snake creatures. The only reason Finn was able to get out of the temple, after snagging the Relic of Ages, was because he was lucky enough to draw his I’m outta here! card right when he needed it most. There was no way he was going to make it past the 7 or 8 monsters in his linear path. This relic better be worth it.

….Aaand it’s gone. We lost the relic. Or Harlan did. Whoever the fuck he is. We chose to keep the relic safe by giving it to some rando in passing. Then we are shocked when the supposedly trusty vagabond up and leaves town. Great.

Threads of Fate was another rather frustrating scenario with a ungodly amount of enemies. The moment we were able to eliminate just one of the Haunting Nightgaunts terrorizing us, we would advance the agenda deck, reshuffle the discard pile, only to draw the very same Haunting Nightguant! GAH! These guys are tough as well, 4HP, running away from them is hard due to doubling the negative modifiers. Terrifying creatures.

It was neat that there were multiple Acts or multiple storylines (threads) to follow and investigate. We were only able to fully complete one of the three but at least the scenario still rewarded us for making an attempt at the others. In that you receive some bonus experience points for just getting past Act 1 of each deck. Alejandro Vela was rescued and now resides in one of our decks. I would have preferred to have the Relic but circumstances prevented us from making it so.

Wait, it was all a dream?! But I consumed actual gas in driving to this fever dream. I want my gas supply point back. The Boundary Beyond would be strike 3 for us. Another overly frustrating scenario with too many monsters and a damn near impossible end goal. We were suppose to lose weren’t we? Considering we only managed to get 3 out of the 6 locations explored correctly, and then wiped of clues before being overwhelmed by enemies. The added penalties for exploring was very rough and we felt it… hard. Like for instance, one location forced you to take a physical damage to take the explore action. Which inevitably resulted in drawing a treachery card, making the damage you received to draw the treachery even more painful. So consume another precious action, take another physical damage, and try your luck again!

The Harbinger of Valusia once again made his appearance known. A damn near impossible enemy to combat while also trying to achieve your necessary win condition. With Alert and Retaliate active even when exhausted, the Harbinger is going to just decimate anyone interested in doing any amount of damage to him. Especially book nerds like us. We were able to inflict 2 damage on him though before getting TKO’ed. 2 damage out of his 20hp! I feel like we should be further down on his health track. Ugh.

During set-up, players are instructed to set aside the Agenda 3 and Act 3 cards. I imagine this is to mislead the players about the intended length of the scenario? And well… it worked! During what we thought was our very last turn (before the agenda would advance), we both made some hail mary plays to try and acquire as many clues/locations as possible before ending the scenario. Only to find out, the scenario wasn’t over. By the time we realized we had more rounds at our disposal, we were either already eliminated or stuck in some impossible situation. I can see that designers are looking to subvert players expectations in whatever means possible, but this ended up just frustrating my girlfriend to the point that she considered quitting the campaign all together. She is calling AH-LCG an abusive relationship. Wondering why we keep going back to it.

The Story So Far

Wait. Why are we back in the jungle again?! Let’s recap. Going back a few scenarios, we uncovered information on a secret cabal, called the Brotherhood, who had interests in the Eztli relic (missing!). This Brotherhood also had a great deal of information on Alejandro’s previous expedition into the Mexican rain forest. According to Ichtaca, the Brotherhood is seeking a place called the Nexus of N’kai. OK fine. So without any other bit of information given by Ichtaca, we set off on another expedition back to the relic’s original location. For what I imagine is to seek out additional clues in regards to the power behind the relic.

During our road trip to Mexico City, Alejandro voices his opinion that the documented symbols adorning the relic is not of Mayan or Aztec heritage. Hmm…ok.

We putz around Mexico for a while, eating lots of fish tacos and drinking lots of margaritas (or so I imagine), but doing not much else. A week later, Ichtaca FINALLY decides it’s time perform some sort of cryptic incantation, alone in her room. An event that results in a dream like scenario which gives us some insight. Insight into (Tenochtitlan locations?) a cave that Ichtaca believes is the path that leads to the Nexus. She wants us to go with. Do we have time to grab some Pozole before we go? I think so.

Part 1

The first half of the Heart of the Elder’s mythos pack seems more of a catch-up scenario. Because we only received insight on 3 of the 6 paths/stone pillars outside the cave, we had to spend some days trying to decode the other 3. The stone pillars are essentially the lock tumblers allowing access to the cave maw.

I find it hard to believe Ichtaca had been running all over this jungle, secretly protecting the relic from outsiders, and never once discovered or learned about this cave. And if she did know of it, why did it take so long for her to explore it? And it she did explore it, why didn’t she know the 6 paths from the start?! Gah!

We did not like this part of the scenario. It felt like another throw away scenario that really wasn’t needed. It took two attempts at it to get the remaining 3 paths. Our first day/attempt resulted in no additional paths and Ursula ended up dying to the snake monsters. On the second day, a replay of the same scenario mind you, we had much better luck in not drawing snake monsters to hound us the entire time. So that helped us focus on clue gathering. The whole idea of playing the same scenario over and over again until you achieve some specific goal, rubs me the wrong way. Repetition in this regard is no fun. We also were annoyed that progressing the Act deck, which is normally a good thing to advance, significantly hampered our overall goal. So on the second day, knowing that it would be detriment to advance the Act deck, we advanced it only when we were ready to take on the additional headache.

Part II

After we gained access to the cave, we had a good spelunking time getting clues and discovering locations. It’s as if clue gathering is what we excel at. We lucked out on drawing a minimal amount of enemies during the mythos phase. Which helped us deal with everything else thrown at us. We felt like we had plenty of time to achieve the overall objective and we got a heck of a lot of XP from this scenario (both parts 1 and 2). Which makes the sting of part 1 a little less so. Part 2’s flavor text alludes to a Journey to the Center of the Earth type inner world, taking place below ours. Which is kind of neat.

The end of the scenario was a little confusing. Alejandro betrayed us?! He was working in unison or is commanding some sort of alien race to find and gain access to Yoth, cavern of the serpents? Why? I take it Alejandro is a member of the Brotherhood, which would explain why they had information on Alejandro’s expedition. It was information of the inside variety lols. My girlfriend thought the entire campaign was over after reading “It is your last human memory.” So we just died?! Not quite.

Alejandro was working with scientific, alien creatures? Hah! So we got mind-swapped with a couple Yithians and mentally transported to some unknown location beyond space and time that acts as a mass-information compiler. What are the aliens doing with our physical bodies right now? The other aliens didn’t seem to mind us wandering around their utopian society. That is until we fucked with their experiments. I suppose we would be the real aliens at this point. We had a lot of fun playing this scenario. This would be the first time, in publication order, that your investigator’s card gets swapped out for another scenario specific one. The next instance of this taking place during the prologue of The Circle Undone campaign. Both enjoyable experiences.

We slithered around, doing our best to hold on to our items with our noodly appendages. We did manage to perform all six of the necessary intellectual pursuits before mind-melding back into our original bodies. AKA we were a rightful pains in the ass. 9 xp from this scenario! So that’s very nice. This scenario required a lot of card-play. Mostly we used our cards just for the modifier icons to pass tests. As your Yithian character card allowed for the doubling of icons for one card per test. This coupled with our ever reducing max-hand size, made the end goal of holding 10 cards at once a rather tricky puzzle to figure out. We would not have achieved this goal had it not been for our new pen-pal, the Custodian, and the best room in the house, the Yithian Orrery.

What were we suppose to do with the Out of Body Experience treachery cards? I was never instructed in the setup but I feel like these should have been shuffled into our decks at some point. The backside of the Yithian investigator cards have Do you remember…? in the Deckbuilding Requirements section. So maybe it was a mistake in that these treachery cards should have been included in our decks to start. Not sure. We didn’t utilize them. This will probably be corrected in the Return to.

Now lets see what Alejandro and his alien buds were up to while we took a mental holiday.

I hear people play this scenario just to see how far down into the depths they can get before they are torn to shreds. We got to level 5 (the bare minimum) and immediately got the hell out of there! One could get a significant amount of XP on this scenario though. If everyone is well suited for fighting monsters and dealing with the ever growing pain that is the chaos bag. We on the other hand are NOT well suited for dealing with monsters. Besides running away from them. Finn Edwards recently purchased a Ornate Bow which has been pretty damn effective at eliminating a bunch of annoying or persistent enemies. Enemies with the Hunter trait mostly. Lets hope the next scenario is more about getting clues and not fighting a Boss of some kind.

The Depths of Yoth is an alright concept for a scenario but just like in a previous scenario (The Heart of the Elders Part 1) you essentially just play the same mini-game multiple times. At least with this scenario, with the reset between floors/levels, the locations are randomized. Your starting location and which locations are available will be slightly different between floors. We quickly learned which icon to look for in order to find the Steps of Yoth (how to progress). And I’m so confused on what’s going on in the over-arching story that we don’t even care anymore. Both Ichtaca and Alejandro have turned on us and want the Relic of Ages for different reasons. Ichtaca, I believe wants to awaken Yoth for some terrible reason. Hopefully it will all make more sense after the next scenario.

We finished! …thank God/Yig. We did get an above-average ending. Resolution 1 if that does anything for you. We lost the original Relic of Ages so we didn’t get the best ending but we refused the tempting offers from both Ichtaca and Alejandro Vela and went about mending the tear in the fabric of time…ourselves somehow. Luckily for us, The Relic of Ages was rediscovered in A Pocket of Time which I suppose makes sense that we traveled through time and found a earlier/later version of the one we lost. I’m always impressed with the final scenarios of each of the major campaigns. This one was no different. The story seemed to come together. Both Ichtaca (Yig worshiper) and Alejandro (Yithian in disguise) had ulterior motives which is understandable. I liked that we could have sided with either of them to change the world as we know it forever.

We didn’t kill a single enemy this scenario. Besides those EZ-PZ cultists. So we were once again dogged by a myriad of serpent & elite enemies. We were use to though after the sixth or seventh scenario where that happened this campaign. Finn Edwards handled running away from 5 different monster enemies himself, each round for two or three rounds. One free evade, three normal evade actions, and a Leo De Luca evade action. While Ursula Downs worked vigorously at exploring and clearing clues from as many shattered locations as possible. Taking damage and horror when necessary. It worked. I can’t wait to go back to playing some Guardian and Survivor class characters. Or really anyone with dynamite

We don’t officially get to play the bonus, secret mission because we lost the Relic of Ages from our timeline but we will play it anyway just to see what it’s like. Going on the assumption that we didn’t hand a complete stranger one of the most powerful objects in the known universe. So we will play that next and I will report on it here.

Man, fuck this game. We got devoured by Yig pretty quickly in our attempt to undo our past mistakes. Turn Back Time has a cool concept but this scenario is not designed with pacifists like us in mind. It’s tough! Arm yourself to the teeth before entering the Eztli Ruins again! We didn’t REALLY deserve to unlock this scenario and we are going to continue acting like this scenario never happened. Our own form of time travel.

Now that we are done with this campaign we will play a Return To… or start The Dream-Eaters cycle and hope that our last Mythos pack gets delivered very soon.

In Summary

Of all the Arkham Horror campaigns that I’ve played, The Forgotten Age is and will remain my least favorite. With that said I was impressed by how many of the scenarios ended up having a decently high personal rating. This tells me that the scenarios themselves aren’t bad but the over-arching story and mechanisms introduced are what leaves a foul malignancy festering in my mind when contemplating The Forgotten Age. Mainly due to the frustrations with the exploration deck, the supply point system (never having what you need), and having to suffer the ridiculous amount of serpent creatures all looking to settle their poisonous fangs into your meaty neck. The Harbinger of Valusia is still out there, slithering around the jungle with a whopping 18 HP! Good luck with that Mexico.

Final Score (Avg)

#Arkham Horror LCG #The Forgotten Age #h.p. lovecraft

3 notes · View notes

bigskydreaming · 6 years ago

Text

AU where Dick and Jason realized early on that their differences were actually all due to the same problem, one they had in common: Bruce is an ass. And so instead of continually butting heads, they agreed to call a truce and not let Bruce’s continued status as an Ass come between them. Allied against the Ass.

And thus they actually had a good sibling relationship, with Jason going to Dick when Bruce’s Asininery grew to unbearable levels, because GOD could Dick relate, and no way would he betray his little bro by letting Bruce know where he is or let him see Jason before Jason was good and ready. Because if Dick had had a Dick-like buffer when HE was a teenager butting heads with Bruce in very similar ways, their own conflicts would likely never have grown to the point that they did in canon, and cause a split as deep and long-lasting as the one between Dick and Bruce in canon was.

And maybe when Jason was grown enough that it was time for him to step out of Bruce’s shadow and adopt his own new identity, make room for a new Robin, he and Dick become partners.

Only Jason being Jason, flat out REFUSES to be the Flamebird to Dick’s Nightwing, the natural other half of that duo, because Flamebird is a terrible name Dick, fuck you, that’s why. It’s LAME.

Except Dick being Dick, flat out REFUSES to be something other than Nightwing, because he already picked it and is established and he LIKES it and everyone who knows anything about that name (even if its just other heroes who know Clark or Kara well) knows that Nightwing’s partner is supposed to be Flamebird, anything else will be WRONG, god, Jason, you’re the English lit snob, WHY DO YOU HATE SYMBOLISM??

And so finally they settle on a compromise that works for both of them: they’ll BOTH be Nightwing and Flamebird. They’ll take turns, switch off roles.

Dick’s pleased because a) he gets his way and he’s a shit like that and b) aww his little brother really DOES love him, he’s willing to be Flamebird even some of the time so they can be a proper team, because they’re family, they’re brothers, and that’s more important than pride to both Dick and Jason even if they’re both so obviously prideful that this isn’t always evident.

And Jason’s less obviously but still equally pleased because a) he didn’t totally cave, he resisted the power of Dick’s unapologetic guilt trips which is no easy feat and really it’s just the principle of the matter, principles are very important to Jason except when they’re not, he’s a shit like that, and b) aww his big brother really DOES love him, its so obviously important to him that he invite Jason into this identity that matters so much to him as a symbol of his independence, him being his own man separate and apart from Bruce, its a family thing, a brother thing.

And then they’re both pleased for an entirely different reason, the reason being that they’re both little shits who fucking love mischief and chaos in counter to Bruce and Batman’s rigid order and control. Oh, the glee once they realize the havoc that their constant switching has on villains and criminals.

Because see, its not that hard to tell that they do it. Jason’s much bigger and broader than his acrobat older brother by this point, they have entirely different manners of movement even though they know all the same fighting styles, all the same gymnastics tricks. Their differences in size and center of gravity and muscle mass make it impossible to do everything the same, even if the moves are identical. Not to mention Dick physically can’t NOT run his mouth incessantly, whereas Jason’s quite content to stick to some well-timed cursing and catchy threats as punctuation for his beat-downs.

So its common knowledge that sometimes Nightwing is Nightwing and Flamebird is Flamebird and sometimes Nightwing is Flamebird and Flamebird is Nightwing except really doesn’t that still mean Nightwing is Nightwing and Flamebird is Flamebird even when Flamebird is Nightwing and Nightwing is Flamebird?

You see where this might begin to become confusing for their foes and hard to keep track of.

Especially since the Brothers Batty have gotten GOOD at compensating for their obvious differences, they crouch wherever possible in order to mask the difference in heights, they use shadows to obscure muscles and proportions, and they know each other well enough to mimic each other’s patterns and type of speech and banter when its for a good enough reason, like say, fucking with their bad guys’ heads. Like the order of prioritization goes Pride -> The Principle of the Matter -> Standing Firm Against Bruce’s Asininery -> Brothers -> Mischief and Mayhem.

See, its not that they don’t have clear priorities, its that their priorities aren’t immediately obvious to normal people aka non raised by the Goddamn Batman, that Emotional Toddler That We Nevertheless Desperately Seek Approval From, Ugh, Why Are We Like This, Why is HE Like This, Oh Right, We’re Like This Because HE’S Like This, Ugh FUCK BATMAN.

Point being, its not always easy to tell them apart in combat, let alone distinguish which one you’re talking about.

And sometimes after a long week of patrolling Dick and Jason just kick back at home and replay the audio from their stakeout and resulting beatdown of the latest cabal of supervillains to try and set up shop in Bludhaven, cackling with glee as they listen to their targets ranting about those two damn Birds breathing down their necks.

See apparently, the Boss is really mad about an op Nightwing busted up the other night and one of his suck-up subordinates was like ‘Ugh yeah, me too, Boss man, he totally ruined that meet I was trying to set up with a couple of Gotham Rogues for you’, and then someone else is like no you nitwit, not THAT Nightwing, the OTHER Nightwing, the big one, the first one! You’re talking about Flamebird!

And then someone else would be like shut up you dumbass, the first Nightwing is the SMALLER one, the one always running his mouth, everyone knows that! The big one is Flamebird! Y’know. Except for when he’s Nightwing.

And then someone else is like, that doesn’t even make sense, why would the first Nightwing be the smaller one, he was FIRST, obviously he’s the older and bigger Nightwing and what are you talking about anyway, the smaller Nightwing isn’t the one always running his mouth, he’s the angry one who says the really fucked up shit that makes you wanna crap your pants cuz like I fucking kill people but that shit is DARK

And then the Boss is like “EVERYONE SHUT UP! Alright. Look. There’s an easy way to settle this: Are we all talking about the Nightwing that hits harder than he kicks or the Nightwing that kicks harder than he hits?”

Which is when someone’s like “Well Flamebird’s definitely the only who hits harder - “ and it all starts up all over again.

Meanwhile, at home, Jason and Dick are on their sides, trying not to bust stitches they’re both laughing so hard.

And don’t even start with the times people hire Deathstroke to kill Nightwing. Because first Slade has to clarify. He’s like: “WAIT. Which Nightwing? Cuz I’ll only kill one of them, the one that’s really - usually - UGH FUCKING HELL - Look I’ll kill one of them but the other one’s off limits. So it depends on which one you want killed.”

“And they’re like, well which Nightwing is off limits?”

And Dick and Jason REALLY get a kick out of the audio of what THAT devolves into. (They’re in the rafters of the warehouse the meet is happening in the whole time. This is just too fucking good to bust up any sooner than they have to. Slade looks hilarious when he’s frustrated).

Meanwhile, back in the Batcave, a highly confused Bruce is listening to the same audio, Barbara having sent it to him in order to keep him from doing something dumb like storming off to Bludhaven the second he heard Deathstroke was in town and pissing off both his eldest two because CLEARLY, they do not need his help.

Tim and Damian have no idea whether to sympathize with Bruce over their brothers’ refusal to take this situation as seriously as they obviously should be, or to just find it fucking hilarious.

Cass and Duke aren’t hindered by the same need to be Team Bruce ever or by weird and arbitrary standards of professionalism, so they just find it fucking hilarious. Their older brothers are the best.

26 notes · View notes

reawakening · 6 years ago

Text

a face of melting snow

[] or, don’t let the bastards grind you down

i’m not the same. i’ll never be the same again. there’s no hope for that. how do i get going again, now that i am standing still? how do i act like this, speak like that, look like this, sound like that? when i don’t know who or what i am anymore? how can i? after everything? how can it all feel so different?

i’m afraid i’ve lost my way.

i’m already in my grave.

jolyon, what a fantastic death i missed…

it’s done now.

i’m no longer the prince of the reef.

now i am the murderer of cayde-6.

just what i always wanted. to be rid of that goddamn title. prince of the reef. what bullshit. hah, oops, i swore. so what. no, wait, so fucking what. think i care about that now? i’m a murderer, not the prince. that was about as good as a title as riven of a thousand voices. an even bigger load of bullshit, riven of a thousand goddamned voices. wait, what about the taken king? another favourite of mine. ooh, now i am being sarcastic, too. wotcher, i’ll be smoking and downing a pint, maybe having a fuck, too. i’ll be uldren sov, no, uldwyn rees-davies, that nasty boy. that dirty, nasty davies boy. oi, by the way, his name was oryx. goddamn oryx. she started off life as aurash, for fuck’s sake. the god-king, the taken king. get over your-fucking-self.

guess you can’t now. since you’re dead.

since the guardians killed you.

i fucking hate you for that. sure, i hated you already, orry – mind if i call you orry? not that i give a damn. ‘sides, you’re dead. i keep forgetting. actually, that’s not true. i can’t forget. wish i could. but i can’t. i remember every detail. every sight, every sound, every smell, everything right down to how the button for the shields fell so easily beneath my fingertip. i fucking hate you for that as well. but, i digress. i already hated you, orry, for murdering my sister. ripping her from me over a bit of goddamn posturing, some grand guignol on your part. that must have been a proud moment for you, orry. but you couldn’t stop there. you had to add the insult to the injury by making it so the only place i could be safe was with the people who would hate me the most. sending my galliot crashing down in the shit hole desert between the vex and the cabal where the only friendly face was the eliksni. didn’t get much better when i got to be the kell of the house of kings but...

...something good eventually did come of it...

but don’t think i am about to thank you for any of it. you’re dead now, they killed you, and i am glad about that.

see what you’ve done to me?

i am happy that you are dead.

i am happy that they killed you and that they danced when they were done.

you sick fuck. i can see the grin on your death’s head mask of a ruined face. you’re probably laughing amongst the flames, aren’t you? laughing your arse off at me down in hell.

it would help if i believed in all that. heaven, hell, purgatory, whatnot. not sure if i do. no, pretty sure i don’t, come to think of it. haven’t seen much evidence of it, not during my time on this miserable mortal coil. i’d like to think that my dad is someplace lovely, where he can do and go wherever and whenever he wants to, where there is no pain, no suffering, where there is no sadness. i’d like to think that. but then, he would have been able to watch me from on high, right? he would be able to see me get my arse beat by the cabal, get my arse beat by the eliksni, see me get more bitter and angrier with each passing day, until he could see me graduate from the prince-who-lived to the man-who-murdered.

he could see me cock up and let the fucker who would cage the traveler, who would set the city to ruin, the city he loved, slip pass without a warning to the vanguard. see me fuck up again and get fikrul and so many eliksni murdered. see yet another fuck up as i murder cayde-6 with my own hand…as petra...i thought...not her...

damn it.

damn me.

no, i don’t mean that.

yes, i do.

i don’t know what i mean.

i am changed.

i am not the prince you once knew, petra. i am not a person you should want to know.

i’m so glad mother can’t see me here.

i had a soul that was ripe for the taking...i’ve been rendered broken and breaking...oh, dear, now it sounds like i’ve really gone off my nut. sorry, jolyon. i don’t mean to frighten you. don’t let this foul mood of mine affect you.

i know it’s been rather unfair of me, placing my mood swings on you. you’ve carried the greatest burden, though, petra. for that i am grateful, even though i have come off in the past as an unthankful bastard. but what have i told you, petra? don’t let the bastards grind you down. nolite te bastardes carborundorum. okay, that was a pathetic attempt at latin. bet you never dreamt i would even come that close, did you? then again, maybe you did. you always had more faith in me than i had more faith in me.

here, maybe this will surprise you.

i have gone out, a possessed witch, haunting the black air, braver at night; dreaming evil.

for the longest time, my dreams had an element of pain. everything in my life was tainted red by it, made the darkest shade of crimson. everything except you, petra. you were the purest thing in my world. my humanity, my miracle, my north star, my philosopher’s stone.

that’s when i first loved you. when we went seeking the hebridean faeries, the cŵn annwn i was convinced i saw in the divalian mists, all to bring back to mara as her prized hounds? you, me, and jolyon. the trio. god, we were so young. children, really, doing the work of heroes of old. you, with your knowledge and early wisdom. jolyon, with his loyalty and his bravery despite his fears. me...with this foolish arrogance and little else.

i wonder if the traveler would choose...him again now that he’s dead. he’s the better man. he’s worth more dead than i am alive. andal, i...i killed him, you know. i didn’t want to. it—it’s not the way that i thought it would be. i don’t feel the way i thought i would feel. i don’t...feel.

i don’t feel anything, andal.

i’m scaring me.

i dreamt that we have been to heaven and to hell and back again. that’s not just a dream, though, is it. we have been to heaven and hell. heaven for so short a time. hell...

doth follow night, who like a fiend from heaven to hell is flown away. ‘i hate’ from hate away she threw, and sav’d my life, saying -- ‘not you.’

that was shakespeare. pretty good, eh, mara? i can quote shakespeare. almost as good as your dear shaxx.

i can almost see your smile now. as long as you are smiling at me, petra, i am stronger than anyone or anything. i can withstand hell just to see you smile. for you, i would be strong enough.

i'd like to believe that. i really would. but i know the truth. i’m weak. just a weak little boy who can’t see straight. if i were stronger, as strong as you, i wouldn’t have cayde-6’s death on my hands. i know that i am weak.

actually...i don't know anything. anything at all.

i don't believe in anything. in anyone. in me. especially in me.

i hate...me.

i'm sorry.

please forgive me for being what i’ve become. forgive me for not being good enough.

i'm so sorry.

i want to believe again.

i hate myself so fucking much.

i used to dream. i haven’t dreamt in a long time. i’ve been having nightmares for the past four thousand years it seems. i wonder now what it is like to dream. to sleep without intrusion, without waking up in a cold sweat, without my eyes burning from the sting of my tears. i can’t remember what it’s like to dream. my life...i’ve forgotten and it is death that i remember now. that’s all i can remember, petra.

god, i can’t see your face. i try and i try and i just can’t see your face, petra. i try to make myself see you and it just slips away from me, fades away, melts from my memory like snow on a sunny day. why? is there a god after all, andal? is this his punishment? okay, fine, you, up there, you know i didn’t have a fucking choice! do you think i wanted to kill cayde? well, i fucking didn’t! and i shouldn’t have to tell you that! you know i didn’t want to kill him! if there was another way, i would have taken it! you know that!

...was there another way?

petra, did i blind myself to the possibilities? did i rush in, single-mindedly, stupidly, as i’ve done so many times in the past? did i ignore your counsel, did i ignore mara, did i ignore jolyon, did i ignore the beating of my own heart, did i ignore how it ached when andal died...it hurt so much...so much...dear god did i kill a man when there was another way?

it’s so cold...so fucking cold...i can’t feel anything...

maybe i can sleep now. maybe i can dream now. what do you think, petra? i should like to dream. i should like to sleep. i’m so very tired. maybe i could dream about you? i should like that very much.

i am changed.

i am not the prince you once knew.

i am not a man i would want to know.

what a fantastic death i missed.

#destiny #destiny 2 #destiny forsaken #forsaken #destiny fanfic #destiny fic #drabble #microfic #prince uldren sov #uldren sov #forsaken : ʟᴏᴏᴋ ᴛᴏ ᴛʜᴇ sᴛᴀʀs; ʟᴇᴛ ʜᴏᴘᴇ ʙᴜʀɴ ɪɴ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴇʏᴇs #a face of melting snow

4 notes · View notes

leashchildren · 3 years ago

Text

six of crows but as quotes from my quotebooks

jesper: you know i really think i’m starting to get the hang of this college thing

wylan: you threw up a cardboard box!

jesper: in the middle of a stimulating conversation about god!

kaz: in a way, am i not already a terrorist?

wylan: i’m not an adrenaline junkie i’m a calm junkie, i just want to be in my bed with a cup of tea

kaz: it’s less so second-hand embarrassment and more so first hand shut the fuck up

nina: i need to be an icon in every situation

inej: being an atheist is a white people thing

nina: folks say ego I say brand

jesper: not to be political or anything but I’m immortal

kaz: new question do you want to die

nina: warn me when the hbo documentary crew gets here i want to look pretty when i talk about your struggles

kaz: i think it’s offensive that i have to have a birth certificate

matthias: puppies or bust

jesper: i need to start a support group for people who only remember ratatouille

nina: you practice crying?

inej: yeah it’s called having a bad life

matthias: i don’t think i’m physically capable of making “fuck me eyes”

nina (in disguise): i’m a nun

kaz: you’re a bitch

inej: that game was meditation?? i was so good at it!!

nina: get your depression away from me i don’t want it

kaz: i could ruin your life TOMORROW

jesper: i know you could but i’d appreciate it if you didn’t

matthias: how much of your day do you spend conjuring up ways to give a priest a heart attack

kaz (to van eck): i hate myself and if you hire me, via the transitive property of depression, i will soon hate you

nina: THANK FUCK NOW I CAN EAT BRUNCH

kaz: yeah we’re not religious up here

inej: god i can’t relate!

kaz: yeah, god, i can’t relate

nina (to wylan): have you considered identity theft?

kaz: necessity is the mother of becoming a problem for the FBI

matthias: it’s not purity culture. god’s not going to damn you to hell, i am

jesper: oh yeah that’s gonna be my jam i’m an art installation. its like trophy wife but the drug habits involved are far less depressing

nina: if g*d was real the p*megranate would be more convenient

inej: i need to make a reddit account so i can ask a group a strangers if i can send flowers to fedex

kaz: i’m looking for an answer that isn’t “i crave power and am looking for influence”

jesper: inej is a fucking trucker in the body of a ballerina

kaz (to nina): i’m not saying you ARE an HR complaint i’m saying you exude the energy of someone who would cause an HR complaint

nina: i’m about to start eating food off of other tables plates who’s with me

wylan: if god didn’t want man to rig a Ford F-350 RV with explosives he wouldn’t have invented recreational vehicles goddamit

kaz: why the fuck is this robot more emotionally intelligent than i am

nina: there’s nothing matthias hates more than the idea that someone, somewhere is enjoying something that they should not be

matthias (post CK): you don’t get to overthrow the government without consequences as it is apparently frowned upon

jesper: i played hide and seek with my frontal lobe that night: it hid, i sought

jesper: do you think I could be French?

wylan: well you can be insufferable and that’s half the battle

jesper: can be?

wylan: I was trying to be nice

jesper (about kaz): you’re like a cat lady but with broken people

nina: i’m very princess-y i’m a princess

kaz (about joining the dregs): if people are going to accuse you of being in a secret cabal shadow government you might as well join a secret cabal shadow government

jesper: teletubbies was a defining part of my childhood

kaz: well Nancy Pelosi was a defining part of mine

jesper: damn open relationships are a good deal too all i want is like attention

kaz: like if you want to fucking die I’m sure we can find someone to accommodate

kaz: fuck unpaid internships

nina: i’m too sexy for that

nina: younger man girl that is not my brand

inej (about kaz): you are..how do i say this..a megalomaniac

kaz: the invisible hand says “you’re a dumbass!”

wylan: what’s on fire? oh it’s that car!

nina: well i’m your manic pixie dream girl sooo

inej: i’ve learned not to use “with kaz” as a baseline for anything

kaz: the person who designed that needs to be turned into a leather jacket

wylan: i’m very obviously a former teachers pet

kaz: let me have my maladaptive coping mechanisms in peace please

#there’s less inej matthias and wylan in here than i would like i tried to include them #i keep quotebooks for my friends and in doing this i learned that quotebooks only lend themselves to one or two characters really well #which is funny but not great for this #but still i like it

0 notes

valkyrie-echo · 7 years ago

Text

Project Echo, Part 2: Chapter 27 (Filling the Ranks)

Part 2 Summary: A new enemy surfaces with a team of the Avengers’ greatest foes, hand-picked for their destruction. Meanwhile, Inessa’s pre-Hydra past begins to surface, casting doubt on where her loyalties truly lie.

Chapter 27: Filling the Ranks

"Not having second thoughts are you, friend?" Albatross teased Berny as he entered hour 2 of his study of cell phone footage from the Second Battle of New York, "She would make a rather fierce opponent."

"You know our host won't let her near us," Berny laughed, then consulted the complete Hydra file on the girl- the one annotated by the late Commander Dennisson and Nikolai Ryker, "I was just curious about something."

Morris wandered over from where he'd been sitting with Cul Borson, consulting on strategies, "Oh? Anything relevant to your mission?"

Berny smiled at his tone. Morris was on edge with Pryor's report- the Avengers were regrouping and there was no subtle way to prevent it. He didn't like his Cabal distracted from their study of the individuals they'd be fighting, especially not now. "General curiosity, cross my heart. I'm just bored," he shrugged. "No one knows Clinton Barton like me, there's nothing new to learn."

"So then, what is your question?"

He forwarded the footage to the point where a pack of shadowy wolves launched from the Senate House ruins down the streets of New York and paused it, "Here we have the monsters of the Valley, just as Nikolai described them to Dennisson. We know now the failure of Project Echo came when she possessed one of them- her little mental vanishing act. I'm just curious... Is she really human?"

"How so?"

"The one wolf obeys her, always has. She can unlatch from her body, but that has nothing to do with her other powers. If she could just look through shadows, maybe teleport, that's one thing. But jumping ship? What if," he skimmed the report for the name, "Emilie's kid really did die in the explosion and this," he gestured to a blurry, deeply shadowed figure on the screen, "is what possessed the corpse?"

It wasn't a bad question, Morris was impressed, "There is no way to know for sure, but if it is true then the pieces of the puzzle would certainly fit better."

Berny smiled with pride, "Like I said, changes nothing, but it's a thought."

"I like this one, he has a brain," Cul's deep voice filled the room. He raised his glass to Berny in a toast and took a sip of wine. Berny blew him a kiss and the gods expression immediately soured. He didn't approve of such cheeky humor.

"Either way, neutralizing her is our first move. If she has time to open a door and bring the Shadow through before we begin our broadcast, we lose her, the prize. Killing the Avengers is a security measure, but our mission is her. Lord Thanos demands her for his collection."

"That's only because he hasn't met me yet," Albatross wheeled around and threw a dagger at the unknown speaker before his brain even registered seeing her. Berny likewise had a crossbow out and aimed- though he managed to stop himself from firing it.

Morris turned slowly, smiling, "I take it I have the honor of addressing Sinthea Schmidt?"

"Sin," the woman flipped Albatross' blade and threw it back at him- he barely caught it. The name was apt- she looked like a demon. Her hair and even irises were an unnatural, flame-red, matching the red corset loaded down with the hilts of at least a dozen small knives. More blades were latched to cuffs on her arms and she had two short swords belted to her hips. Her eyes moved quickly, analyzing every detail in the room. Albatross smiled. She reminded him of Natasha- minus the overwhelming homicidal urges he felt when looking at his former ally. He didn't know Sin's training, but they had been enhanced by the same serum, this one was an equal.

"Gentlemen, may I present the daughter of the Red Skull. Though, I must inquire as to how you found your way down here. If there is a gap in our defenses it must be mended immediately."

"Lazy guards," she waved a hand dismissively, "dead already."

"Well, thank you for alerting us," there was no sarcasm in Morris voice. If there was, Sin would have slit his throat before anyone had a chance to move. She was everything he'd hoped Dennisson would turn out to be.

"Your plan?" her voice was barely accented, "My handlers did not share more than your location before I ended their service."

Morris motioned for her to sit on a vacant couch. She didn't budge, so he remained standing as well, "The Avengers are a powerful enemy. My master authorized an entire army to be sent against them, but they still won the day without so much as a casualty. When my last ally, Hydra commander Thomas Dennisson, divided their forces he came close to ending them."

"Close is not enough."

"Agreed. That is why I mean to improve upon his plan. He gave them four enemies. I will give them eight. Their greatest enemies, all at once. They will not be able to turn to one another for aid, and divided they will fall."

Sin nodded, it was a plan worthy of her involvement, "Who is my opponent?"

"Iron Man." Morris pointed to Berny who quickly pulled up footage of Tony Stark in battle, "He relies on advanced robotics, but his suits are embarrassingly susceptible to damage. We need a precision tool to extract him from the lineup, and you are more than qualified for this battle."

"My father suspected his technological rival, a fool named Howard Stark, may one day create an automated fighting machine. Provide me with schematics and more film of his fights and I will identify the weakness in the suit of armor."

Albatross was impressed, "This one is Anthony Stark, Howard's son."

"Then I'm in luck."

"We are in luck," Morris corrected, "to have one such as you fighting for the Cabal."

"Yes, you are," she wasn't modest. "My father had me trained by every spy and combat specialist he could find. I even wiped out an entire generation of the Red Room's Black Widows during my time there. This fight benefits Hydra, and so it benefits me and my family."

Dramatic, idealistic, but more than capable of bringing down Tony Stark, Morris was willing to forgive any fault, so long as she lived up to her reputation, "Gentlemen, my lady, my lord," he half-bowed to Cul and Sin, "we are very nearly ready."

"Who's taking care of the bird?" John Ryker spoke up from an armchair near the back of the room.

"Bird?" Sin arched an eyebrow.

"The Falcon," Berny spoke up and pulled up the relevant media, "similar to Stark, but less protected. He could be taken down by anything really."

Morris hadn't decided yet, and Sin could read this on his face, "My father's MODOK device?"

He shook his head, "I've considered it, but MODOK would be useless once we activate the frequencies necessary to trap the Avenger's Shadow."

"Why be delicate?" John smiled, "Battle begins, the Avengers scatter to give one another space to fight, and the Falcon flies up for an aerial view. Great for seeing the war from above, disastrous if something were to happen to his wings."

"You want to detonate an electromagnetic device?" Morris rolled his eyes at the stupidity, "Have we not said often enough that the frequency must be maintained to keep the Shadow grounded?"

"I'm not that delicate," malice glinted in his eyes, "I was thinking more along the lines of shooting him out of the sky."

"Not an option. I don't want him so much as turning on the damned things."

Sin shrugged, "Then remove him before the battle even begins."

Morris' mind immediately went to Doctor Pryor. The woman was capable of impressive feats, could she maneuver the Falcon in such a way that the Avengers themselves might end the threat? The woman had proven too eager in the past- as battle neared he grew more and more certain that it would be best if he handled Inessa by himself, but could she actually still have a use?

"If she fails, they will do everything in their power to extract intel from her." John didn't care one way or the other, but he was playing devil's advocate. He disagreed with Morris- the Cabal was already powerful enough for one to kill at least two Avengers, the least powerful and frankly least impressive of the lot was hardly a threat.

Sin pulled a small disk from her pocket and held it up, "Have her swallow this. Make up a reason why or hide it in her food. Once she has completed her task, detonate it. They cannot interrogate a dead woman."

Morris thought through it slowly, cautiously optimistic. He couldn't get too greedy, eliminating the Falcon would put the Avengers on alert, more so than they were after the little assassination attempt. "If we do this," he said carefully, "no one leaves the bunker until the day of the attack. We give them no way to trace it back to our location. If they remain divided, good. If they come together," he shook his head, "they are doing that already so it is no great loss. But we keep the size and specialty of our ranks a guarded secret." He wouldn't act, not unless everyone agreed to this plan. It was relatively sloppy, but he couldn't see an alternative- there was no way to ground the Falcon fast enough once battle began- and they had no idea what sort of protections the wings might have against manipulation or direct fire.

One by one they nodded, even Cul Borson. Morris approached Sin and took the disk with a nod of thanks, "You have ten hours to go fetch whatever supplies you may need- new arrows, weapons, equipment, then we lock down. With any luck, our short war begins and ends in two days."

In the morning Natasha found two pictures nailed to the door. One was of "Sinthea Schmidt", a woman in red they could not trace. The man had had an "Oh, duh," moment and tracked down a picture of Doctor Pryor taken from the "About" page on her medical practice's website. Across her face he wrote in large, red letters "TRAITOR."

Unfortunately, the warning arrived too late.

Chapter 28: Traitors Among Us

#my writing #avengers #marvel

2 notes · View notes

crtranscript · 8 years ago

Text

Talks Machina: In the Dark - March 28, 2017

MARISHA: You got this buddy.

BRIAN: We're back. Talks Machina in the Dark.

OFFSCREEN VOICE: No!

MATT: [laughing] "No!"

[all laughing]

BRIAN: Talks Machina... After Dark.

MARISHA: Yes!

BRIAN: Yeah!

MARISHA: Yeah.

MATT: There we go.

BRIAN: Well, we have questions from the Alpha chat, which we take for this portion of the show.

MATT: Hi, Alpha chat!

MARISHA: [in a lispy voice] Hi, Alpha chat!

BRIAN: We have questions for Matt and Marisha and for Fan Friction Film, sometimes Films.

CAIT (VEX): Sometimes, but only sometimes.

BRIAN: Up first. Question for Marisha. What's it like seeing cosplays of Keyleth compared to how you view her in your head.

MARISHA: I love every single one. One of my favorite things about, like, seeing all the Keyleth cosplays is seeing each person's interpretation of her. It's the same way that I feel about like the fan art as well 'cause they're all our own mind-canons... head-canons... I like mind-canons.

BRIAN: Last week you said "future-thinky."

MATT: Mind Cannon is, I think, a level six ability.

MARISHA: Future thinky!

BRIAN: Last week she said--she was like, "It's good to be future-thinky."

MATT: [talking quietly about "Mind Cannons"]

BRIAN: Yeah, those Mind Cannons? Yeah. More powerful than a Firebolt.

MATT: Yeah. Well, that's kind of what's cool about, y'know, shows like this, because, y'know, while Kit did the official designs--"official"--it's open to such interpretation because each character is by everyone's imagination. It's all just a narrative thing, so everyone has their own idea--their own creation of what they interpret--

MARISHA: Yeah.

MATT: --and that is kind of why it's so amazing to see people in many ways do a better job, y'know, illustrating or showing things that I imagine in my head.

MARISHA: And we dressed as our characters for the opening title sequence--

MATT: Right.

MARISHA: --so we know how difficult and uncomfortable this shit is.

MATT: Yeah.

MARISHA: So every time we see someone we're like, "Damn!"

MATT: I feel you.

MARISHA: Yeah, like this? [gestures to the FFF group] Yeah, we feel you.

CAIT (VEX): Well, and like--

BRIAN: Brandon got here three weeks ago to start putting on makeup.

MARISHA: I know, right! Basically.

CAIT (VEX): Every time you guys add something to the character, like, in canon, like every time they get a new, like, item--

BRIAN: Or a vestige, or yeah.

CAIT (VEX): Yeah, something happens. It's cool as a cosplayer to A) have some creative freedom to do, like, maybe you've wanted to build something that looks like this but you haven't had, like, a reason to do it before or, like, B) to continue to be able to, like, add and evolve a costume. Like, you're never--you're never really done with it.

[general agreement]

CAIT (VEX): And it's also nice too that there's no, like, true, like, canon-canon-canon version of this because cosplay can--it can get kind of competitive sometimes. People, like--

MARISHA: Want the screen-accurate--

CAIT (VEX): --want--yeah, they want the screen accurate--

MARISHA: Yeah.

CAIT (VEX): --or they want--they want to be the best or whatever--

MARISHA: Right.

CAIT (VEX): --and with this, that's--that's gone, it's eliminated! You can just celebrate the fact that you and somebody else both like the same character enough to make the same costume and that's super cool.

BRIAN: That's awesome.

MARISHA: That's an interesting point that I never thought of, that this is like a weird cosplay where you can actually like level it up with us, which is kinda sick! That's amazing!

CAIT (VEX): If you have Cabal's Ruin--

JULIE (PERCY): I have Cabal's Ruin--

CAIT (VEX): --in the Green Room I think?

MATT: That's awesome!

CAIT (VEX): Yeah!

MARISHA: But yeah, I was just telling Elizabeth [Keyleth cosplayer] before the show I loved the gradient butterflies--

[Elizabeth stands up to show the butterflies off. Somebody wolf-whistles.]

BRIAN: Oh yeah, that is--

MARISHA: --that she did.

BRIAN: --so crazy.

MATT: That's badass.

MARISHA: Which I noticed and like--yeah.

CAIT (VEX): Hey girl.

MARISHA: Yeah. Which I saw that in the music video--

BRIAN: How come when I do that, people get mad?

MARISHA: --and was like "That's so rad!"

ELIZABETH (KEYLETH): You don't have butterflies.

MATT: It's true.

MARISHA: You're jealous of the butterflies.

MISSADVENTURE (PIKE): Get your own butterflies.

MATT: Hashtag: GetBrianHisButterflies.

[laughing]

MATT: That's a thing now.

BRIAN: Here we go. Guys, Matt, what about--this is from Svedwar [user]--

MATT: Svedwar!

BRIAN: What about Freddy and Greg made you break so hard?

[laughing]

MATT: It's--it's hard to explain. When you're so into a moment, especially like the mood-setting of the Hells and like the intensity of a negotiation--really, the first party's negotiation with any sort of devilish entity--in a space that is so dangerous and so out of what they're used to dealing with, I--I was so, like, steeped in that moment and it was less...The Freddy was fine, it was more the...

BRIAN: Greg.

MARISHA: Greg.

MATT: In a way that only Travis can do it, which was like, "It's still practically your name, dude, you just fucked up your O a little bit." And his matter-of-fact Travis way of saying it--

BRIAN: Uh-huh.

MATT: It just... it was a left hook and I just couldn't. Couldn't recover.

BRIAN: Yeah. When you don't see the process happen in his mind, 'cause it just comes out so fast--

MATT: Yeah.

BRIAN: --it just gets you off-guard. Travis has pulled a few of those. Remember on the Critmas episode when he was reading the cards and he said "Mine says 'Sam lied'"? I was dying.

MATT: Yeah!

BRIAN: It was so fast. San Friction--oh, what a great idea--Bean Princess 19: How about--any plans for a VM/Hamilton cross-over music video?

[general oohing]

CAIT (VEX): Y'know, I suggested this--

BRIAN: You did?!

CAIT (VEX): --when we were--yeah--when we were looking for a song for this--

BRIAN: Yeah!

CAIT (VEX): --because we--we had the idea to do a video before we had the idea to use Critical Hit by No More Kings -- that's the name of the song in the video.

BUCKLE (VAX): Title drop!

CAIT (VEX): Ayy! Check them out! They're super-cool, really nice guys and really like very supportive of this whole thing.

BRIAN: Yeah!

CAIT (VEX): But before we had that song, we knew we wanted to do a video. We searched, seriously, collective group-effort searching, like fifteen hours going through Spotify and the internet, YouTube, reddit, whatever. And at one point I was like "What if we just used Hamilton?" And it was immediately shot down. They were just like "It's not gonna be funny." And I was like--

BRIAN: Oh, yeah?

BUCKLE (VAX): I didn't say that, I said--

BRIAN: Oh! Who shot it down, I wonder, hmm!

BUCKLE (VAX): I just outed myself again.

BRIAN: Oh no.

MISSADVENTURE (PIKE): Hiding in the closet with the cutting board.

[giggling laughter from everyone throughout]

BUCKLE (VAX): I said that Hamilton--I want a divorce.

BRIAN: Oh no! No, not on this show! Please save it 'til after! I get enough grief!

BUCKLE (VAX): We're not even married yet.

MATT: So get married...

BUCKLE (VAX): We're engaged!

MATT: Congratulations!

BRIAN: Congrats!

BUCKLE (VAX): Thank you!

MARISHA: Hey, engaged couples!

BRIAN: Yeah!

MATT: Yay!

[they high-five]

CAIT (VEX): Hey, we did it this time! I'm really proud.

MARISHA: We did it, yeah!

BUCKLE (VAX): See, practice works.

MARISHA: Engagement bros.

BRIAN: You don't have to say when it is, but have you picked out a date?

BUCKLE (VAX): What I said is that Hamilton was so much of a--

MISSADVENTURE (PIKE): Mid-October.

BUCKLE (VAX): Hamilton was so much of a phenomenon on--

MARISHA: Oh! October bros!

[all laughig]

BRIAN: Sorry.

MARISHA: Sorry, continue.

BUCKLE (VAX): Nobody cares about this anyway.

[all laughing]

BRIAN: What day?

MARISHA: What day? Do you have a day yet?

MISSADVENTURE (PIKE): I don't think we've picked out a day yet, but it's not--it's not--

BUCKLE (VAX): November. We want fall.

MARISHA: Yeah.

CAIT (VEX): One of you said October, one of you said November.

BUCKLE (VAX): We've talked about this.

BRIAN: There'll be two weddings. One for her, one for h--yeah.

BUCKLE (VAX): Our relationship transcends pesky things like dates and numbers.

BRIAN: I respect that.

BUCKLE (VAX): We're not into that.

MATT: Esoteric dates.

MISSADVENTURE (PIKE): I mean, we forgot about our anniversary this year, so clearly--

[all laughing]

BRIAN: "We" did? Or--

BUCKLE (VAX): Mom, Dad, we love each other--

BRIAN: --we did?

BUCKLE (VAX): --a lot, and--

BRIAN: If you both forget, it's fine.

DENISE-CC: [inaudible] Who gets the cutting board?

BRANDON (GROG): "Who gets the cutting board?"

BRIAN: "Who gets the cutting board?" Who said that? Denise?!

[all laughing]

CAIT (VEX): I'm keeping Denise.

BRIAN: Who gets the cutting board in the divorce?

[continued laughing]

MISSADVENTURE (PIKE): Well, it's relatively squarish, so I want the panhandle.

BRIAN: Oh my god.

CAIT (VEX): It looks like a knife, honestly, like a toothbrush.

MISSADVENTURE (PIKE): It looks a little bit like a butcher's knife.

BRIAN: I'm sure we'll see it on Dateline at some point.

[laughing chatter]

BUCKLE (VAX): I'm sure we're not the only people who feel this way, but after ten years together, one day just seems arbitrary.

BRIAN: Yeah.

MATT: Totally.

MARISHA: Yeah.

BUCKLE (VAX): It--it--one day, no matter how fantastic, cannot hold a candle to a life together, y'know?

MISSADVENTURE (PIKE): Oh, that's poetic!

MARISHA: When Vox Machina talks about being family, this is what we mean.

[Marisha is gesticulating, brushing up against Matt’s mic, which he gently tries to guide her hand away from, eliciting laughter]

MARISHA: Sorry.

[more laughing]

MARISHA: Fuck your mic! [mimes elbow-dropping his mic]

MATT: Chat room is like, "Yaaagh, RIP ears! Back to episode two!”

BUCKLE (VAX): Now that we've made it really awkward and personal, what's the next question?

[all laughing]

MATT: No, that's awesome, thanks for sharing!

BRIAN: Next question is...how long have you guys been together?

[all laughing]

BUCKLE (VAX): Ten years!

CAIT (VEX): Approximately five minutes.

BRIAN: We're gonna systematically watch the end of a relationship.

CAIT (VEX): We met in the parking lot.

BRIAN: And we saved it for Alpha.

BUCKLE (VAX): Well, we met you [Cait] on Craigslist, so it's not out of the question.

CAIT (VEX): Technically, I met you on--or, no, you met me on Craig's List! You found me!

MATT: That's how we [Matt & Marisha] met!

[awwwww]

CAIT (VEX): They're my Craig's List roommates, which I feel like explains a lot.

BRIAN: That's how I got my job--that's how I got my job at Two Broke Girls, was on--

[laughing]

BRIAN: --Craigslist. You know how many broke girls are on the show now? I have a lot of trivia. There’s two.

[laughing]

MATT: God dammit, Brian.

BRIAN: Guys, are there any characters...are there any other characters--this is from Vex'ahlia--

CAIT (VEX): Heyyyy.

BRIAN: Hey, I don't know, I told you guys not to submit questions, please.

CAIT (VEX): Sorry.

BRIAN: Kidding. Are there any other characters from Critical Role you want to cosplay and if so, who?

[Ulthar starts reaching for the mic]

BRIAN: Scanlan is itching. Give him the mic, at once!

ULTHAR (SCANLAN): I have developed a very deep need--like, literally yesterday--to be Tiberius.

ULTHAR (SCANLAN): I'm going to figure this out. If I have to glue rhinestones to my skin...

MARISHA: With the horns and everything?

ULTHAR (SCANLAN): I'll need, like, foot-tall platform boots.

MARISHA: Yeah.

JULIE (PERCY): I believe in you.

BRIAN: Make sure you use glue that's skin-appropriate.

BRANDON (GROG): Out of context.

BRIAN: Yeah, yeah. Not like I did.

ULTHAR (SCANLAN): Hot glue. Entirely hot glue.

CAIT (VEX): You wanna just pass it along?

BRIAN: Yeah, are there any NPCs or anyobody else?

JULIE (PERCY): I actually cosplayed Vax. That was actually the first one that I did, for the Halloween contest.

MATT: Yeah, yeah, yeah!

MARISHA: Oh, rad!

JULIE (PERCY): So that was really fun. I don't know. It's a joke among my friends and I that we all, like, plan to cosplay all of Vox Machina at one point.

[laughing]

JULIE (PERCY): Like, each and every character.

BRIAN: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

JULIE (PERCY): And it's fun.

BRANDON (GROG): I'm pretty dedicated to Grog.

[general chatter]

DENISE-CC: I will be Vex'ahlia for WonderCon in the masquerade with my Grog.

[cheering]

ELIZABETH (KEYLETH): That's awesome!

BRIAN: That's awesome. Elizabeth?

ELIZABETH (KEYLETH): I have a cosplay habit of looking at the tallest, most masculine manly-man in anything and being like, "I wanna be that one, but a girl!" And, as I started listening to CritRole, I was making Keyleth, but I was making eyes at Grog going, "I really, really wanna be Grog."

MARISHA: Dude, oh, do it!

MATT: FemGrog!?

ELIZABETH (KEYLETH): I wanna be FemGrog!

MATT: That would be amazing!

ELIZABETH (KEYLETH): So I want to go from tiny, tiny slim druid to like--

MARISHA: To buff Grog.

ELIZABETH (KEYLETH): To buff Grog

MARISHA: Barbarian, man.

MATT: Do it. Do it.

ELIZABETH (KEYLETH): So yeah, maybe one day.

MARISHA: I appreciate that.

BRIAN: [reacting to a question in Alpha] Is this true?!

MISSADVENTURE (PIKE): Is what true?

BRIAN: Sorry.

MATT: Continue.

BRIAN: Continue. I saw a provocative question come through, I'm scared now.

MISSADVENTURE (PIKE): I mean, Pike was always sort of my one-and-done. I am Pike, she is me. But if I had to, probably Doty.

[general cheering]

BRIAN: I would love to see that.

MISSADVENTURE (PIKE): Would you put on a fake beard for me?

BUCKLE (VAX): Well now I have to, for Taryon, because I love me a beard.

MATT: You could just go gem shopping. All the gems.

MISSADVENTURE (PIKE): Oh man. That's what I love. I love rhinestones.

BRIAN: Go to the goatee store.

BUCKLE (VAX): Ever since the first mention of Percy when I started watching, I pictured this fabulous, like, regency coat, like very tailored with the puffy top and cravats. Not a lot of like--a lot of fanart people do is really great, but it's more fantasy and I--I'm really interested in doing a super-historical, minimalist kind of Percy.

[ooooh]

BUCKLE (VAX): So, I have my designs drawn up and I'm gonna start pretty soon, so.

MARISHA: Oh my gosh, yes.

BRIAN: That is so cool.

CAIT (VEX): And I am cosplaying Vex 'cause she is the character I probably relate to the most, but Percy is my fave and if I thought for a second I could pass, I would have been--I would have been Percy, hands down. But I like looked at my face in the mirror and was like "Mmm, I don't know."

MATT: Oh, that shouldn't stop you.

BRIAN: I do that every day.

[laughing]

CAIT (VEX): No, so, I was--I was like, I think--I think I'm just gonna--I'm just gonna be Vex. Maybe I'll do Percy at some point.

BRIAN: Yeah.

MARISHA: Do it.

BUCKLE (VAX): Everybody's Percy.

CAIT (VEX): Everybody's Percy--that's our next video, we're all Percy.

BRIAN: That would be amazing.

CAIT (VEX): No Mercy Percy, yeah.

BRIAN: Taliesin would be happier than I can say on this program.

[background chatter]

BUCKLE (VAX): ...you can have a lot of copies of the same character and it's fine.

MATT: Yeah.

BRIAN: Yeah!

MISSADVENTURE (PIKE): Yeah, Buckle, it's called Caiter (?) Double.

[laughing]

MATT: It's called, someone cast Seeming.

BRIAN: Oh yeah!

MISSADVENTURE (PIKE): We could do the Seeming where they're only Vex and Vax!

CAIT (VEX): We should do all Vex and Vax! Next video!

[general enthusiasm and agreement]

CAIT (VEX): We've already got multiple Vaxes and multiple Vexes--

MATT: This is amazing.

BRIAN: You're not coming on this show with everyone dressed as Vex and Vax because I will not be able to speak.

[laughing]

BRIAN: I won't be able to get the thing--

CAIT (VEX): We're just gonna break in here--

BRIAN: Please!

CAIT (VEX): --all dressed as Vex and Vax.

MATT: I love it.

BRIAN: How do you think Denise got this job? Guys, someone tell me if this is true. TBoyz [user] tells me: how do you guys feel about the fact that there's a Krogan named Strongjaw Grog in Mass Effect--

MATT: Yes!

BRIAN: --Andromeda.

MATT: That is true, apparently.

MARISHA: Yeah.

BRIAN: Are you jealous that you didn't get an easter egg and how much money did Travis use to bribe EA?

MATT: That's a good question to ask Travis. I'm excited that there's any sort of Critical Role easter egg. We're discovering, as time goes on, at like cartoon recording sessions, video game sessions, general industry folk all over, people are into Critical Role in places you wouldn't expect and we have a lot of people that we're fans of that then conversely we found out are fans of the show and it's been a really cool kind of experience to run into these people and have these conversations. And so yeah, we've seen easter eggs like that starting to show up in mass media--

BRIAN: Yeah!

MARISHA: Yeah.

MATT: It just feels really cool.

MARISHA: We're, "Whaaaaaaat?"

MATT: Almost as cool as having a bunch of people dress up as your entire party.

ELIZABETH (KEYLETH): You said it a was "almost". It was "almost" as cool, so you're saying that we are cooler than Mass Effect: Andromeda?

MATT: Yeah.

MARISHA: Yeah, that--that might be true.

ELIZABETH (KEYLETH): Oh, wow. We're gonna put that on our blogs now: Matt Mercer says we're cooler than Mass Effect.

MISSADVENTURE (PIKE): Cooler than Mass Effect: Andromeda.

[Buckle takes the mic away from Elizabeth]

BUCKLE (VAX): You cannot be trusted with this mic anymore.

[laughing]

CAIT (VEX): Oh, man, yeah that sound bite is never going away.

[laughing]

BRIAN: Yep, that's a lot of this show.

[laughing]

BRIAN: Us saying that to each other. Ask Taliesin. Let's see. Let's pick the last question of the night.

MARISHA: Last question!

BRIAN: If you--this is from Rose Artemis [user]--question for the cast. If you could have someone direct Vox Machina the movie, TV series, who would it be and why? And then you guys [FFF] can say if you have a favorite director or--

MATT: I would say David Milch.

BRIAN: Right?

MATT: Just because it would be ridiculous, filled with the right amount of curse words, and we could get Ian McShane to play everybody.

BRIAN: I know!

[Matt laughing]

MARISHA: That would be amazing.

BRIAN: Ian McShane as Thordak, Ian McShane as everyone. Victor?

MATT: I'd watch it. I don't care if anybody else would watch it, I just want to see it.

BRIAN: I'd watch it, absolutely.

MARISHA: I mean, me and like, y'know...y'know...I feel like maybe Joss Whedon--

BRIAN: Yeah.

MARISHA: --doing like full-on Avengers style, like... got a boner for Joss Whedon's writing shit.

MATT: Don't we all?

MARISHA: So... I mean, yeah.

MATT: Hashtag: MarishasWhedonBoner.

[giggling]

BRIAN: Use the hashtag...no, please guys.

MATT: Please don't do that.

MARISHA: That'd be rad.

MATT: Joss is a good choice because he has the good balance of like action, dramatic, and--

MARISHA: And humor.

MATT: --good humor and characterization.

BRIAN: David Fincher for me!

MARISHA: Ohhh!

[shuffling around]

BRIAN: Oh there's a gift!

CAIT (VEX): We actually have a gift for Matt.

BRIAN: Let's present it to him at once!

MARISHA: Oh boy!

BRIAN: Look at this!

MATT: What the heck?

BRIAN: It's my dick in a box.

MATT: That'd be impressive from over here.

CAIT (VEX): Merry Critmas.

MATT: Thank you guys.

[Matt opens it to reveal the mounted head of the Raishan pinata from the video.]

MATT: Whaaaaat!

BRIAN: What is it? What is it?!

MATT: Holy shit! So in the video, y'know they had the Raishan pinata?

[He pulls it out of the box]

BRIAN: Yeah. Oh, it's--is this the actual one?!

MATT: They mounted it.

BRIAN: Oh my god!

MARISHA: That's amazing!

MATT: That's so awesome! That's living on this set, guys. I hope you know what you've done.

[cheering]

BRIAN: Yeah, it is. Hell yeah, it is.

MARISHA: That's so good.

MATT: That's so good.

MARISHA: I can't believe you mounted it!

BUCKLE (VAX): It's like when your cat--

MATT: Oh shit, look at her eyes!

BUCKLE (VAX): --goes hunting and then it like lays rats on your porch for you.

[laughing]

MATT: It's so good!

BRIAN: That is great.

MATT: And you can totally see she's been Feebleminded.

BUCKLE (VAX): The eyes were very crooked--that's the fixed version.

[laughing]

MATT: That's beautiful.

BRIAN: Maybe we'll put it where that weird thing is.

MARISHA: Oh, that's true!

MATT: Yeah, we can do it.

MARISHA: Yeah, we can fill--for sure, that thing.

[Denise say something off-screen]

BRIAN: What?! We have to ask Denise first?

MARISHA: We have to ask Denise?!

BRIAN: Oh my god. That's all the time we have for tonight, folks. Thank you for watching Talks Machina After Dark. We will see you...at WonderCon, hopefully. We are gonna go off the air, but in ten minutes, AXYB starts at 9 back on Twitch--

[Someone talks off screen]

BRIAN: What?

OFFSCREEN VOICE: Yeah, ten minutes.

BRIAN: That's what I said. Why did you interrupt me?

[laughing]

BRIAN: She's getting--

[Denise making spaced-out nosies off-screen.]

BRIAN: --unhinged. She's become unhinged. The end is near, my friends. Denise will be roaming the streets like Jumanji. Thanks to everyone--

MATT: The video game?

BRIAN: The video game. Thank you guys so much for coming on and for dressing up and for doing this. Will you come back?

[all agreeing]

BUCKLE (VAX): We’re just down the street!

CAIT (VEX): Yeah, let us know, we're literally down the street.

BRIAN: Except for Julie! Julie flew in from Florida.

CAIT (VEX): Yeah, we'll fly her back out here.

BUCKLE (VAX): You're going to have to pry my sweaty ass of this couch.

CAIT (VEX): Aaaaand you've just lost mic privileges, too.

BRIAN: Nope, nope, we love you guys. Thank you! Thank you for coming on, Matt and Marisha. Forgot about you guys. It's so hard with this beautiful--

MATT: I know. We can't blame you.

BRIAN: --array of--

MARISHA: Yeah, no, we're here.

BRIAN: We love you guys. Thank you for watching. Go back to Twitch. Watch AXYB at 9. Thank you so much, we love you. We will see you Thursday for Critical Role.

[all cheering]

#critical role #critical role source #criticalrolesource #critrolestats #critrolesource #talks machina #accessibility #a11y

3 notes · View notes

fireteamcatastrophe · 7 years ago

Text

The Red War, “Break the Rules”

((This will be part two of Breaker’s experience of the Red War. In this one, we’ll see a very confused Breaker-77 struggling with his identity and the fact that he’s no longer immortal. However, that may end up being a bit more of a boon than any initially imagined, and the brightest of Lights can be found in the darkest of holes. Let’s break the rules.))

The ship lowered to the old base, and the Exo stared vacantly at the wreckage that he insisted was populated. Visions of people kept swimming through his mind, but as his eyes slid across the oceans roiling below the landing pad, the visions would fade until he looked back.

“Zavala,” the Exo spoke, “You said I’m... A what?”

“Breaker-77,” Zavala sighed, “You are a Guardian. Specifically a Titan. One of my better Titans. You slew Crota, you followed through a promise you made Crota, in his dying moments, that you would...” Zavala looked pained for a moment.

"I promised that I’d feed Oryx his failure of a son’s fucking skull.” Breaker-77 smiled, his memories returning. He wondered how briefly this would last.

Zavala rested a hand on the bulkhead, and Breaker’s hallucinations ceased. As the Titan Vanguard lifted his hands, Breaker realized he only had the memory of that incident. He didn’t remember other Guardians, he remembered _his fucking crew._ Breaker looked at his weapon, it had caught a slug through the barrel and was permanently ruined. The firing mechanism had jammed, and the bullet slammed into the slug. As he threw the gun down, he realized it was beyond saving.

No amount of tweaking would fix that gun, Victor Gonzalez recognized that some extra ingredient made it work without any-

He called himself that again. Who was Victor Gonzalez?

Who was Breaker-77?

The Exo turned, and saw refugees cowering. He had been so far gone into his thoughts that he didn’t recognize the noises behind him as something he needed to be concerned about. Memories flooded through, and he remembered everything for a brief enough moment to draw a sidearm. He didn’t know where it came from, and the small, decrepit voice in his ear was whispering to nothingness as Breaker-77 stomped from his starting point. He slammed to cover, looked to Zavala, and nodded.

“Zavala, you’re the pointman on this job? Good. Cover me!” He charged, and felt every Fallen on the helipad stare him down. He ran forward, fearless and not understanding just what he had lost. Zavala popped helmets, and Breaker grabbed one Fallen by its throat. He punched it in its respirator system, and grabbed several pipes to rip them out. The creature hissed as it scraped at his armor plating. Its second set of arms drew blades, and Breaker drew his own knife. He stabbed straight into the creature’s ribs, twisted the knife, and yanked the knife away from its spine. The spectral Ether gushed from the wound, and Breaker-77 saw it. It reminded him of Light for a second, and he realized he was on his last life.

“Oh, fuck!” he screamed, slamming his back into a piece of cover. He reloaded his sidearm, cursing himself for his insanity. Why couldn’t he keep it together? Come on Breaker, this isn’t you.

Yea, Victor, this isn’t you.

“By the fucking Traveler!” Breaker stood from cover, firing suppressing fire. “Zavala, can you do anything with your Light? I can’t remember using all of my-”

“Breaker! We lost our Light. The Cabal took it from us!”

Breaker froze, falling to cover as the realizations cascaded in his mind. He was actually mortal. He couldn’t move, he was paralyzed with fear. If he did something reckless and he died, Dallas wouldn’t be able to resurrect him. Dallas being able to heal him was a miracle enough.

“Breaker!” Zavala said, but Breaker swore the Awoken had just called him “Victor,” “Breaker, we can’t freeze! These people are counting on us!”

Victor Gonzalez felt his blood freeze, and he looked on a seven foot creature that bore a massive device that looked like a crossbow. It pounded its chest, and roared an ungodly noise from its throat. The Exo, who didn’t feel like an Exo anymore, stared at the purple-skinned stranger.

“Zavala!” he said, “What is that fuckin’ thing!?”

“What?! Breaker it-” the purple-skinned man froze, and Victor realized that wasn’t a mask. There was a degree of understanding in the stranger’s eyes, and he shook his head. “That is a Hive Knight. You killed two of their most revered gods, you and your crew!”

“Did I?! I stood up to that ugly sonuvabitch’s GODS?”

“Yes! Please, do it again! These...” The man stared at the civilians cowering, “These hostages won’t do us any good dead!” Zavala’s voice had a jagged edge that Victor felt part of himself impressed by.

“Alright,” the Exo said. He grabbed his sidearm, “Toss me a rifle or something!” As the stranger complied, Breaker put the sidearm away and reached for his mask. He couldn’t find one, instead finding a helmet that was strangely fit just for him. He spun it on one hand, and put it on. He fired the weapon at the Hive, corralling the smaller forms into cover. The large one, the Knight, laughed in defiance. He put bullets in its face, and it spun to its side before firing a bolt. The shot went wide, slicing the air above Breaker’s head. “Send the hostages into that building, we’ll hold off these fuckers from inside!”

Zavala waved at the civilians, and they hesitated. Breaker was furious, and he did what he knew would work best.

“He fucking beckoned you into that Traveler-damned building! Get the fuck up! Move!”

As Victor Gonzalez turned to the Hive, he found himself fascinated with the Knight’s face. He wanted to make a mask of it: it scared him so thoroughly that it would definitely scare the police. He and them had a tendency to be scared of the same things, he felt. They were people, and people could be broken. But what about alien monsters? Could they be broken?

“Breaker,” the weak Ghost chimed, “You can hear me? Goodness gracious! It’s about time, yea?! Look, I can’t revive you!”

Victor Gonzalez shook his head, and a migraine surged through his skull. Breaker-77 resurfaced, finding himself in a state of shock that he was mortal. He stood from cover, taking down two Acolytes and a few dozen Thrall. The gun clicked empty, and the Thrall kept coming. He took his sidearm, and began firing. That one clicked out, and he threw it at a Thrall. The creature was stunned, and Breaker grabbed its skull before jerking his hand back to his shoulder. The head disconnected cleanly, and there was a surge of adrenaline.

Adrenaline!?

Breaker made a short laugh, a kind of huff. He went to cover, and noted that the Acolytes had weapons he could take, weapons they believed kept them stronger than him. Without his Light, he had no tricks of his own. So he had to use theirs. He’d done it before: he had stolen Crota’s Sword and stolen the Sword Logic. He’d do it again. He charged from cover, laughing maniacally.

Zavala stood in cover, as the last civilian ran terrified into the building, and he dreaded the idea that the Hive had taken his bastion out from under him. This was a hideaway, a safe haven to regroup! But... What if, what if it wasn’t safe havens and regrouping that he needed? He watched Breaker bolt from cover, and he bellowed in protest.

“Breaker! What are you doing! You’ll die!”

“That’s just it, boss!” Breaker laughed hysterically as he broke an Acolyte’s arms and stole its shredder, “I’m only gonna die if these fuckers can prove they’re stronger than me! I killed their gods, yea?! That means I fucking own these things!” Breaker used one shredder to erase the skull of another Acolyte, grabbing a second shredder. He spun both weapons on his trigger fingers, then twisted himself in a pirouette that took out several Thrall. He jumped over some crates, and landed directly on the Knight wielding a split-shot crossbow equivalent. It screeched in pain, and he drove the shredders into its face.

“If they kill you, they’ll gain your power!”

“Oh, yea?!” Breaker laughed in such a way that Zavala’s blood froze, “Well looks like they’re gonna have to do quite a fuckin’ bit!” He wrenched the large weapon from the dying Knight and leveled it at the charging Knight that swung an eons old blade. Its torso vanished, and before the Blade touched the floor Breaker grabbed its handle and wielded it as if it were a toy. “You see, this is my last life! Let me show you, and these bastards, what I did before I became a Guardian!”

“What in the Traveler’s Light are you-”

“You know how I got my fucking name?!” A Knight dove on him, wielding a Boomer. He grabbed the blunt end of the blade with both hands, swinging it like a guillotine before dropping it on the aggressor’s legs, “It’s easy: I broke the police assault waves! In short, I was the one that convinced the coppers to leave my crew the Hell alone while we worked!”

Zavala could only stare with his mouth agape.

“Adrenaline is all I need for this job! Adrenaline, and a lot of dumb,” the sword bisected a Wizard, “Spectral,” a single swing of the blade negated eight Thrall, “Worm-infested,” A Knight clashed its blade with his own, before Breaker jerked one of its pain spikes from its arm and stabbed through its central eye with it, “Pieces of shit to keep this blade sharp! I stole their power not once, but twice! Let’s go for a third!”

Breaker took the second sword from the ground, stabbing his first into the metal catwalk below him, and threw it like a javelin. It impaled a Wizard, and her dying scream sounded as if she were saying the name of Breaker-77, Crota’s End, the Kingbreaker, the Golden Age Heister.

Zavala could only watch in awe. A Wizard flew from a shattered bulkhead, carrying some kind of crystal. Its mystical purple swirls captivated Zavala, who couldn’t fathom what it was.

“Breaker! That’s Light!” Dallas shouted to his Guardian, “We can use that!”

“We can?! Then it’s fucking mine!” Breaker charged with a laugh: he leaped off a crate, grabbed the Wizard by her shoulders, and began slamming its face with his fists as he straddled her waistline with his legs. She screamed, and the crystal dropped to the bulkhead below. Breaker immediately disengaged, falling onto the crystal. He felt it shatter under his weight, and his body filled with... Something.

He felt it course through him. Memories stabilized, seventy eight lifetimes collided, then broke apart, and finally made some kind of sense. Breaker knew what he’d done with his crew before dying in the Cosmodrome ages ago: he was diverting the police away from his crew. He was defending them. He had the highest bounty, was the most feared. If they had seen him, the cops would chase him off-world. His crew would be able to deliver that fucking nanite swarm to the Americans, and they’d have enough money to sit out whatever was on the horizon.

One shot hit him, right where it counted, then he woke up to the voice of Dallas resurrecting him. But, he died as an impenetrable wall that dove headfirst into the thick of danger to bear that burden. He did so out of loyalty to his crew, not solely for the greed of the payout (though that got him to that decision in the first place!), and he felt empowered by this now. This something was seeking that kind of quality to latch onto.

You, Breaker-77, you’re just the right mix of traits to pick up after I’m gone. Take this Light. Wield it well, old friend. I’ll see you back at the Safehouse, and maybe you’ll go back to being called Victor, like you used to. Drinks are on me, pal.

A shield materialized in Breaker’s hand, and it slid to his arm easily. He smiled, a familiar energy coming from it. A crewmember he’d thought lost to eternity, now leaving behind their Light. A Guardian who was probably long lost by the time Breaker came around, but this was proof. The Void energies surged through him, and he let it flow. Each bash of the shield, each toss of it, every action he did was guided by his old friend teaching the Golden Age Heister every maneuver it could recall of their time heisting in the Golden Age.

As the dust settled, and the last Hive Worm withered and died on the station floors, Zavala was on his knees. Breaker couldn’t understand it at first, and neither could Dallas.

“Breaker-77, I...” Zavala shook his head, “I’ve never been so thankful over a Guardian being so reckless. I believe you have truly saved us all.”

#fireteam catastrophe #red war #destiny 2 #destiny #destiny fic #breaker-77 #fanfic #fanfiction #now we move to where Breaker-77 begins taking the whole Guardian bit a touch more seriously #and yes #he will be the first of Fireteam Catastrophe to truly regain their light #He named his Ghost after the crewmember as an aside

0 notes

housebeleren · 5 years ago

Text

Random Commander Challenge: Rona, Disciple of Gix

This summer, I decided to try something new. Inspired, in part, by Abe Sargent’s articles, along with my general desire to try new things & stretch my deckbuilding skills, I decided to challenge myself to build a new EDH deck, chosen at random, every month. I’ll use EDHRec’s randomizer, pick the first Legendary Creature the wheel lands on (with some options to veto, as below), then give myself 2 weeks to build it, and 1 month to play it before I take it apart. Sounds fun, right?!

Here are the rules I’m using:

I have to take the first Legendary Creature the randomizer lands on, but I will skip any Legends I’ve built before, and I will give myself an optional veto for any Legends that are a major presence in my playgroup.

I cannot look at any decklists or read any articles about the Commander as I’m coming up with my list, but EDHRec is okay to see most common cards.

I have a target budget of around $25 for new cards. That doesn’t mean the deck needs to be “budget,” if I’m using expensive cards I already own. But I’m not trying to go nuts buying new cards. This also means there’s an upper limit on the cost of the Commander. Like, I’m not building a Rasputin Dreamweaver deck.

The target is 75% power level. Thematic and fun, but strong enough to make it in non-competitive playgroups.

So with that in mind, for my July challenge, my first spin of the wheel landed on Rona, Disciple of Gix. I love this as my first challenge. Rona has a strong mechanical identity and tons of flavor, meaning this was going to be a ton of fun.

Art: Tommy Arnold

Theme

For Rona, the first thing that jumps out is that she cares about Historic, which makes her pretty unique, mechanically speaking. So the first theme I decide upon was to make sure the deck contained plenty of Artifacts, Sagas, and Legends. Of those, Artifacts are by far the deepest, so it made sense to land on Artifacts as the primary theme, with Historic as the overarching umbrella.

As a secondary idea, I liked the idea of focusing on the idea of Rona as a disciple of an ancient power. Sadly, there is no Gix card to run, but there are plenty of other options that convey the same vibe. And fortunately, many of them are also Artifacts, like Mishra’s Bauble (conveniently appropriate, given the art), Mishra’s Self-Replicator, & Claws of Gix. Those, plus several of the Legendary Creatures (including Urza himself), filled out the sort of “Ancient” feeling I was going for.

Finally, and following from the “Ancient” theme, I also got hooked on the idea of Marit Lage’s Slumber. Given how Modern Horizons was on the brain, and the fact that it’s Legendary, and therefore Historic, this seemed to make perfect sense, and led me to a tertiary theme of Snow. Sure, Gix wasn’t really involved in the Ice Age story, but it still seems to fit the feel of the deck. So Snow Lands and a couple ways to wake up Marit Lage rounded out the deck.

Card Groups

With a deck like this, there’s tons of overlap within categories, but generally, here are the card groupings I focused on:

Mana Rocks - All the usual suspects are here: Sol Ring, Dimir Signet, Talisman of Dominance, Fellwar Stone, etc. Of special note, I also added Mox Opal and Mox Amber, since having 0-cost Artifacts is essential to the “Storm” plan (see below). Also, Honor-Worn Shaku is a must in the deck, since it allows you to turn all your Legendary Creatures, Enchantments, and even Planeswalkers into mana dorks. All told, I have 13 rocks in the deck.

Value Artifacts/Eggs - These are cheap Artifacts that replace themselves. The ones that sacrifice themselves are great early value for Rona. Mishra’s Bauble, Mind Stone, Conjurer’s Bauble, Prophetic Prism, and Arcum’s Astrolabe all made the cut in this build.

Cost Reducers & Enablers - Etherium Sculptor, Jhoira’s Familiar, and Foundry Inspector all do amazing work, while Vedalken Archmage, Shimmer Myr, and Unwinding Clock all work together to keep things flowing.

Legendaries - I threw in Demonlord Belzenlok and Traxos, Scourge of Kroog for some Dominaria realness. From there, I also included Gonti, Lord of Luxury, Venser, Shaper Savant, Sidisi, Undead Vizier, Urza, Lord High Artificer, Sai, Master Thopterist, and Padeem, Consul of Innovation, which all synergize with the main themes in various ways, besides also being Historic.

Sagas & Planeswalkers - I wanted to make sure to throw in a few Sagas, so I included Phyrexian Scriptures, The Eldest Reborn, and The Antiquities War, the latter of which is particularly good in the deck and serves double duty as a draw engine and win condition. Sagas are great targets for Rona to reuse. For Planeswalkers, I added two Karns & two Tezzerets. Karn, Scion of Urza constructs are excellent in the deck, while Karn, the Great Creator can help get back your essential Artifacts if they get exiled. As for Tez, Tezzeret the Seeker is a must-have as a tutor, while Tezzeret, Master of the Bridge is recursion and ramp. And both of them also work as sneaky win cons.

Historic Matters - I already mentioned Traxos, but I’ve also really been loving Mishra’s Self-Replicator in this deck, as it can get out of hand really quick. I also included a copy of Cabal Paladin, which is a little on the jank side, but it works with the “Storm” path, as below.

Recursion & Flicker - Aside from the aforementioned Sagas & Walkers that also recur, I included Academy Ruins, Scrap Trawler, Myr Retriever, Skeleton Shard, and Silas Renn, Seeker Adept to help get back essential pieces, but you really don’t need much since Rona herself can recur. Additionally, I added in Crystal Shard and Deadeye Navigator, which can help reuse some of the excellent ETB abilities on creatures such as Rona, Venser, Urza, and Gonti, among others.

There’s obviously a little more to the deck than that. A couple tutors like Fabricate & Inventors’ Fair, a little extra removal a la Dead of Winter & Executioner’s Capsule, plus some must haves like Tormod’s Crypt, Claws of Gix, Hangarback Walker, and Mirrodin Beseiged, which works amazingly in both modes.

Win Conditions & Lines of Play

What I love about this deck is that there are so many different ways to win, but all of them work pretty well together. So even though it looks like there are too many different directions, they are all pretty harmonious. Here are the major paths:

Egg Storm - This is probably the closest the deck comes to a competitive angle. There are several cheap Artifacts in the deck, and with the cost-reducers, you can very easily get a hand full of Artifacts you can cast for free. From there, the key pieces to win are either Aetherflux Reservoir or Bolas’s Citadel (which work well together, I might add), or Cabal Paladin in a pinch. To help with this plan, I’ve also added Paradoxical Outcome, Hurkyl’s Recall, and Retract to go full storm mode.

Artifact Siege - The goal here is to go wide and make as many Artifacts as you can, then go nuts. Sai, Master Thopterist, Mirrodin Besieged, and Mishra’s Self-Replicator are the best at making tons of Artifacts. From there, you can win with the aforementioned Bolas’s Citadel, drain your opponents out with Tezzeret, Master of the Bridge, or turn them into a massive army with the final abilities of either The Antiquities War or Tezzeret the Seeker.

Mirrodin Besieged - This one’s pretty self-explanatory, as it literally has the win condition on the card. There will be times when you just naturally have a pile of Artifacts in the graveyard and can immediately start sniping people down. If you need to get Artifacts in your graveyard quickly, Ashnod’s Altar and Claws of Gix can help.

Marit Lage - Marit Lage isn’t technically a win-con, but a flying 20/20 will take people out relatively quickly, and it is possible to get her out Turn 2 in this deck with a god hand. That’s not super likely, but I have achieved it by Turn 4, and that is still pretty damn good. I have both paths in here, but Marit Lage’s Slumber is a little better, since you can get it back with Rona if the token gets removed. That said, you will need all snow basics to make it happen. I also have the classic Dark Depths/Thespian’s Stage combo, and Expedition Map to help put the pieces together.

Flicker - This one is mostly incidental, but it is a completely reasonable option. The key, as per usual with this strategy, is Deadeye Navigator, which can wreak havoc on your opponents when paired with the right creature on your side. For example, Deadeye + Urza = an army of Constructs, while Deadeye + Venser = Cyclonic Rift, and you can eventually keep the board entirely clean and then just start pecking in for damage. One final option is to flicker Marionette Master, create a massive army of Servos, which can be used to swarm or as sacrifice fodder to Ashnod’s Altar to drain out your opponent.

Sure, I could’ve streamlined it more around the Eggs win, but I didn’t want to do that, since (as mentioned), that’s not the point. As is, this deck has come incredibly close to winning a number of times, though I never actually scored a win, out of the 5 games I played with it.

Conclusion

So, I ended up going a touch over the budget, spending about $35 on new cards for the deck, such as Vedalken Archmage, Fabricate, and Retract, among other essentials. But overall, I was pretty much able to make do with cards I already had. That said, this is one deck that does really need some of the expensive cards to function, so I don’t know how well it would do as a true “budget” build.

The deck has been a blast to play, and I’d definitely recommend Rona as a fun alternative for people who are into Artifact decks but are looking to build something besides the ubiquitous Breya. Sometimes limitations are the best part, y’know?

All told, I loved this experiment, and I’m really excited to keep trying new commanders in this way!

#MtG #mtg commander

0 notes

fireteamcatastrophe · 7 years ago

Text

The Red War, “Hard Time”

((This begins what will turn into a bit of fic for Fireteam Catastrophe reacting to the Red War. I think this would be the best way to truly capture who these characters are: through the tragedy of the Red War. I think this has the potential to be particularly badass, but I’ll let you all be the judge.))

Breaker-77 was one of the first to hear the sirens, one of the first to respond, and the first one to have the true trauma of all Hell breaking loose enter his psyche. He watched a strange ship beeline for the Traveler, and his equivalent to a gut sank. It was with practiced precision that he took a Legionary out, spinning left to bring his assault rifle to bear. The Shadow Price feeling like a water gun in the hands of the Exo, it smote the Cabal soldier with the precision of someone who truly practiced the weapon in its entirety. However, it was a scrap he recovered from a fallen Redjack. The frames were scattered around the City, and Breaker watched former marks and protection rackets vanish into the smoke of the Cabal Stomp.

He grabbed one Cabal by its wrists as the thing charged with two axes: he was locked in place and the weapon had dropped to the floor. The giant of a creature, known as a Gladiator by his HUD, screamed through its helmet into his face. He smelled rage, pure and simple in its creation and ultimately he smelled his own death. A moment of panic lapsed, and Breaker-77′s mind snapped into the chilling flashback of a heist gone awry in a time he couldn’t remember. Dogs. Wolves.

Hounds.

The Exo was perceiving a large bank, probably one of the largest, no. It was a military complex. Russian, he remembered it by the writing. They were stealing something very specific. It was... No, was it SIVA? No. SIVA was from the Plaguelands. Breaker was holding his hands up to clutch the dropping cage that held something unfathomably valuable. His mind snapped to reality for a second, and he realized the weight of the cage had put him on the ground. He rolled sideways, throwing the ‘cage’ off his body and jumping to his feet. Doing something instinctive, Victor Gonzalez-

Who was Victor Gonzalez?

The Gladiator delivered a tackle to its opponent, and Breaker lost the wind in his lungs as he fell backward. Drawing a knife on his pauldron, the Exo stabbed into the Cabal helmet and pried something off. Smoke and oil hissed out, and the creature became belligerent. Breaker raised the knife again, and dropped it. Smiting easily, he repeated the process several times until the hulking creature fell limp. He climbed from under its weight, and screamed.

“Breaker, we need you up-” The audio was cut off as unknown Guardians met one of their many ends at the hands of Cabal artillery. They revived, and Breaker coughed himself out of another flashback. The Guardians he swore were his old crew from the Golden Age, a long lost group of rogues and thugs who saw him through many heists. Now, however, they were long dead and the warrior who defended the people he would have robbed in his past life was a wielder of the Light. He looked up, wanting so badly to know that his Fireteam was alive, knowing that the Cabal had not found and stomped out their Ghosts as they tried to do his own. Dallas, the small machine, was tucked away in Breaker’s pack. They would not take him again.

Breaker saw refugees being chased by War Hounds, and his body surged with Arc energy as he conjured his Fists of Havoc. The beasts vanished in lightning, and the survivors of their hunger were struck with awe. Breaker watched another Titan wave them into cover. The surging Titan lowered his auto rifle and pointed behind the civilian: old tricks coming into play.

“Get in line! I didn’t say stop running! Fucking move! If I have to tell you again, you’re fucking dead do you understand me?!”

Once, Breaker had used this exact tone on this exact civilian in a robbery on a SUROS exhibit. Or was it the raid on New Monarchy’s stockpiles? It may have even been the Dead Orbit Fuel Raid. Breaker had done so many illicit things for so many awful reasons, he had a moment to ponder what even made him a warrior of the Light. Why did the Traveler choose him? Why did the Ghost known as Dallas revive him? As Breaker shoved another stunned civilian, he spun around and caught a series of slugs to his chest. Several Psions were charging up the way, using thruster packs that he hadn’t seen before. He drew a light machine gun, checked the belt, and felt the arcane energies of this weapon, a custom-built weapon created from fragmented memories and decayed blueprints, whir into motion. The kathunka-thunk! of the weapon tore into the Psions, who were quickly reinforced by War Beasts - Dallas was updating names as he found them - and several Legionaries. The cover of the belt popped up, and Breaker felt various mechanisms click to guide his hands along the reloading process.

It was smooth, efficient, and deadly. The “Full Force Forward” machine gun had devices specially designed to recycle missed shots, akin to another weapon known as “Super Good Advice,” but it would also begin stripping the armor of fallen foes and cycle them into bullets. There were other features, but none of them were relevant. Each kill extended the belt, and Breaker had used this on several thousand Cabal when he began raiding their Martian outposts. It was designed with them in mind, since they held near infinite amounts of suitable metal to salvage, but it had earned its costs twenty-fold on every enemy in the Sol system. One more spin of it wouldn’t hurt.

A massive Cabal wearing a fuel tank approached, and Breaker felt the embrace of death as it cooked straight through him. He found his mind dancing through hallucinations, and an urge struck him: shoot the tank. Reviving on a roof top and letting out a hearty, demoralizing laugh, he dropped from the third story balcony and poured the lead on thick. The Incendior exploded, scorching all of its allies. Breaker found a moment of peace, and heard Zavala’s voice.

“All available Guardians! We-”

Breaker felt something torn from his body. Almost as if his very soul tore from its bindings, he staggered. Dallas sputtered, trying to speak. The voice dimmed, and slowly went silent. Cabal roared, and Breaker suddenly felt every inch of pain he’d felt the entire day. With a roar, he searched around him. This pain was only felt when cleaning out Hive nests where they sapped one’s Light. However, this was far more intense. Breaker’s mind went awry, and he was suddenly hallucinating the burning City as the highway he escaped through upon finally stealing something from a very angry, Russian someone. He felt an urge to run, but couldn’t find out why. The sirens blared in the distance, and he pounded his feet. His softcase on his thigh held something extremely valuable, something he knew was his ticket out of here, and he had to haul ass with it.

“Anyone on this frequency!? Anyone!” Breaker didn’t recognize the voice but he knew that was one of his Crew. The Exo sprinted with more intensity, police firing explosives and hurling the unfire of strange Void magics over him. Civilians were herded into the escape vehicle: a dropship. A strange design he hadn’t seen before, but one that looked like it could fly in a pinch. Could it go to Mars? Breaker had a hideout there. He’d snuck something very valuable away there. But he couldn’t help but feel like that something caused trillions of people intense pain. His mind clouded red, a strange symbol filling his eyes.

~consume enhance REPLICATE

“By the Traveler! Breaker-77!” When did Victor get that name? Who was Breaker? Victor was Breaker. Wasn’t he? “Please, help me,” Breaker didn’t know what was said by his crew, but he felt that the hostages needed to be quiet. They would get rowdy, and ruin their chance to escape.

“Ev... Everyone...” the Exo coughed, turning around and seeing the Warmind’s vaults burning... They looked like a City all of a sudden, a city underneath the Traveler. Something was engulfing the Traveler...

“Everyone! Get on the god damn floor and shut your fuckin’ mouths!” Breaker knew how to handle crowds. He was good at that: he broke their wills, after all. That was his code-name: Breaker. “We’re getting out of this joint if it kills us,” the hallucinations ceased, and the Exo realized that the lives he’d lost had saved him once again. Zavala stood there, concerned.

“Breaker-77! What the Hell is the matter with you!? These are innocent civilians!”

Breaker looked to the cinders fluttering in the breeze, and everything within him ached. His heart ached the most, however. The bank robber covered his face with his hands as the cargobay doors shut. The ship took off, hitting full-speed as soon as it could. Breaker heard women crying, children screaming, and men asking why Zavala was still bleeding, and why they were running. After all, the Guardians could take-

“I said shut your fuckin’ mouths! Lick the fucking floor, or I’ll-” he had spun and faced the crowd, his face no longer concealed by the helmet he’d been so proud to earn. He realized it, and tore the scrap metal from his head. The horns he’d had installed to simulate a demon were apparent, and his scowl was cranked to eleven. “Zavala, did you feel it too?”

“Feel... The Light vanish?”

“Yes.”

“I did.”

The Exo had - without any conscious effort to do so - dropped to his rear and sank his head between his knees. The civilians stayed quiet, quiet enough to hear the horrifying Guardian and Commander Zavala break in half.

“Zavala, I think this whole job just went South.”

“It was likely just a localized ritual done by the Psions. Ikora wou-”

“Zavala! They’re dead! We’re all that’s left! An old bank robber, a tired Awoken, a bunch of nobody civilians, whoever is piloting this bird, and at least two Ghosts that haven’t said a word since that ‘localized ritual.’ Has yours spoken?”

“Break... Er... Do we have... a Plan B?”

“No, Dallas, we don’t. The sirens finally caught up to us.”

#fireteam catastrophe #breaker-77 #red war #destiny 2 #destiny fic #destiny oc #destiny fanfiction #fanfiction #fic #Hard Time #just wait until Henry gets his spotlight #that's some fucking tragedy and a half lemme tell you

0 notes