#and given the sheer amount of talent here

[cinderdust-snz]

you know you're too far gone when you find yourself waking up from a full-on animated h/azbin h/otel snz song dream.

i haven't watched h/azbin h/otel.

[tonystarchive]

IRONDAD & SPIDER-SON WHUMP MASTERLIST—PART 1

Last Updated: September 2023

As promised, here is my long overdue Irondad Whump Masterlist! This list took an embarrassing amount of time to compile and over forty pages in my Google Docs (!!!!!).

Due to the sheer amount of fics, I will be posting in parts. Within these posts, each fic will categorized by its most prevalent trope/theme.

I hope the work from these talented contributors brings as much whumpy joy to you as they do to me!

Also, a very special shoutout to my most treasured Irondad authors iron_spider, for_the_night, madasthesea, losingmymindtonight, AdVitemAeternum, MotherKarizma, and so many more! This post is dedicated to you. ♡ 

Adoption/Tony Stark is Peter Parker’s Biological Father

5 Times Tony Acted Like Peter’s Dad by for_the_night

Summary: “And the one time he actually was." *Featuring an award evening, nightmares, a father-son field trip, appendicitis, and a very special gift—oh, and SO many forehead kisses.*

Alive and Healing by Watermeloness

Summary: “‘...bank robbery gone wrong in Queens. We’re receiving live footage from the crime site, where a 15-year-old teenager has been severely injured. Witnesses report a young boy getting shot after trying to stop the perpetrators. The last we’ve heard, his state is critical and he’s being rushed to…’ Statistically, there are a lot of 15-year-old teenagers in Queens. The city is filled with 15-year-old teenagers that are all brave in their own ways. This doesn’t have to be their teenager. But Peter is not picking up his phone.”

Dad Is Just A Word (You Give It Meaning) by madasthesea

Summary: “Father's Day, two years after May dies. Peter has something special to give and something important to say.”

For Want of a Dad (In Need of a Son) by GhostInTheBAU

Summary: “So, have you given the camping trip any more thought?’ Ned asks, and he groans internally at the change in subject.  He'd much rather go back to talking about his non-existent love life, thanks.  The trip is during spring break—a four-day long trek out into the wilderness, camping and hiking and gathering who even knows what, learning all about nature and the great outdoors. But the real kicker?  It's an event specifically designed for fathers and their sons, which is something Peter doesn't have, and something he will never be. Not again." Or: Peter longs to have a deeper relationship with his mentor, a more meaningful connection; but he's managed to convince himself that the only reason Tony Stark spends any time with him at all is purely because of his enhancement. Because of Spider-Man.

Homebound by AdVitamAeternam

Summary: “Shortly after Homecoming, Peter starts having panic attacks. Tony happens to have some experience with those. What do you do when everyone around you has a tendency to die? What do you do when the last person, the most precious, the one you absolutely cannot lose, maybe wants you? Do you give in, or do you run? Do you take what they offer, or do you keep them as far away from the disaster that is your life as you can?”

I Love You More Than Anything Series by iron_spider

Summary: “The highs and lows of Tony unexpectedly becoming a single dad at 31—from Peter’s early baby years, all the way past the defeat of Thanos”

I’ll Always Protect You (Even If You Don’t Want Me To) by JAWorley

Summary: “So much changed with Peter’s body chemistry after the bite that new things are still coming up that surprise him. One day he and Tony are having a fight and Peter is so stressed out he ends up having a seizure. Seizures… great, so that’s a thing now, and Tony has decided that the best thing is for Peter to stop being Spider-Man. The more the seizures happen, the more protective Tony becomes. All Peter wants is to have his life back." Or: May asks Tony to take joint custody of Peter to help with the Spider-Man thing and this new stress seizure issue. Peter learns that sometimes parents do what’s necessary even if it’s not a popular choice with their kids.

Questions of Science, Science and Progress (Do Not Speak As Loud As My Heart) by l_u_c_k_y_c_l_o_v_e_r

Summary: “I had to find you, tell you I need you. Tell you I set you apart." Or: Peter stays with Tony for a few weeks, and the pair get into all kinds of shenanigans. And maybe, just maybe, those few weeks will usher in something more.

These Days I’ll Sit On Cornerstones by Finny3120

Summary: “Tony was ill-prepared to find that the vigilante he'd recruited was a 14-year-old boy. He was even less prepared for Peter Parker to be mute. But Peter hasn't spoken since his uncle died. And the more Tony works with the teen, the less it matters to him. He hears Peter just fine.” 

You’re Stuck With Me by for_the_night

Summary: “I’m adopting you. I don’t care what you have to say.’ Peter gaped. Of all of the entrances he’d expected from Mister Stark after being alone in a hospital room for hours, that wasn’t one of them." Or: Peter gets taken to hospital with a ruptured appendix and Tony comes to a daunting realization of just how little hold he has on the kid outside of Medbay.

Alternate Universe

My Baby, My Baby by SpaceCowboysFromMars

Summary: “Silence falls over them like a warm blanket. Distantly, there’s commotion down on the street as people walk home from clubs. Peter thinks Tony might be his best friend in the whole world. After a long, peaceful moment, Tony says, voice dripping with warmth, ‘Night, kid.’  ‘Goodnight, Mr. Stark." Or: Tony and Peter in the middle of the night, in five alternate universes.

Visiting Hours by Sara (ctrsara)

Summary: “Boss?’ Tony jolted out of his half-asleep state. ‘What’s up, FRI?’ ‘There is a visitor here to see you.’ Tony jumped up. Anyone he knew would usually call or text first, so he was immediately on alert.   ‘Who is it, FRI?’ ‘I need you to have an open mind, and know that I do not believe this person is any threat.’ Oh, yeah, that made him feel better.  ‘Excuse me? How about you let me decide that, Watson?’ He started walking towards the door, activating his watch gauntlet.   ‘Wait, Boss.’ He was annoyed, but he trusted his AI enough to stop and listen. ‘I also need you to know that I have performed biometric scanning, and this person is who they appear to be. However, they insist they’re not from our universe, and that is the part I don’t understand." — In a universe where he never invented time travel, and never brought anyone back, Tony Stark gets a late-night visitor he never could have expected. Prompt taken from @idk-bruh-20 Irondad fic idea #97 on Tumblr. Idea from @derpmallow.

What The Heart Knows by AdVitamAeternam

Summary: “When Peter wakes up, his head is being assaulted by a sledgehammer. He has no idea where he is. He has no idea what happened to him. He has no idea who he is, other than ‘Peter.’ But then, he looks over at the man who is scrutinizing him with worried eyes, and he knows who the man is. That's his dad." Or: The one where Peter gets hit over the head really, really hard and has temporary amnesia, and makes a very reasonable assumption based on the data presented to him.

Angst

A Far Green Country by madasthesea

Summary: “He just wanted Peter to be happy. More than anything in the world, he wanted Peter to be happy. Oh, Tony thought as that realization sunk down into the pit of his stomach and took root. I love him.”

A River To Skate Away On by frostysunflowers

Summary: “Peter has survived a spider bite, a building falling on him, turning to dust and being a teenager. He can handle anything. Except being forgotten.”

Agape by canon irondad (tomlinsoul)

Summary: “It's Tony's first date night with Pepper since the Snap, and Peter can't wait to spend some quality time with his little sister. Too bad a pair of hapless intruders, head trauma, and a panicked helicopter ride throw a spanner in the works." Whumptober 2022 Day 8: Head Trauma + Day 7: Seizures + Day 19: Repeatedly Passing Out + BTHB: Big Brother Instinct

Broken Heart Syndrome by iron_spider

Summary: “Tony is clearly really upset, the kind of upset that Peter’s only seen the likes of a couple of times, and it’s too close after everything happening to really talk about it. He can definitely see that now.  ‘I’m sorry,’ Peter says. ‘I’m sorry, I should have answered—’ ‘Yeah, you should have answered!’ Tony yells. His bottom lip is trembling and he shakes his head, his eyes wild. He runs his hand over his forehead. ‘Okay, okay, I’ll know for next time,’ Peter says. He doesn’t know what’s gonna make this better. Probably nothing. ‘There better not be a next time,’ Tony says, dropping his hand from his face. ‘God, like this? Pete, no one knew where he was but you, and you—you kept it that way so nobody knew what the hell was happening, and you—you weren’t answering, kid, and that asshole sent me all that shit plucked directly from my nightmares, and I was trying to be strong for May because she was worried, too, and you—and you, I—I thought I wasn’t gonna ever—I thought—Jesus, Peter, you don’t think, you don’t—’ Tony bends over, clutching at his arm and breathing hard through his mouth.”

Dead In There, You’re Dead In There by iron_spider

Summary: “Peter, you’ve been acting insane for the past however many days and it’s giving me an ulcer, what’s going on, what did I do? Tell me. Tell me and I’ll fix it.’ Peter is still stalking around, and Friday is listing off his injuries, from a concussion to broken ribs to a sprained ankle, and Tony feels sick looking at it all. ‘You’ll fix it,’ Peter says, glancing over at him with pure disdain, the look bookended by matching explosions somewhere behind them. ‘Yeah it’s something you can’t fix, if it happens, nope, can’t fix it, it would just—but you’re just saying—’ Tony starts forward towards him. ‘Pete, explain to me what’s happening, please.’ ‘The protocol, the protocol,’ Peter insists, waving his hands through the air. Tony shakes his head. ‘The protocol?’ ‘The Avalon Protocol, Tony,’ Peter spits out, with venom.”

Dead-Eyed by iron_spider

Summary: “Hey,’ Tony says, fast, into the phone. ‘Everything alr—’ ‘Hey, no, I don’t know where he is,’ MJ says, in a rush of breath. ‘I don’t know where he is, Tony, and I know I have access to that tracking thing, but it feels weird for me to do that, and it doesn’t feel weird for you to do that, so you should do that. And find him and tell me what’s going on.’ ‘Okay, calm down,’ Tony says, getting up and stepping back from his workstation. ‘You know you can’t tell me to calm down, because I’m calm, and I’m always calmer than you because you’re like, inherently, not calm. At all, about anything, but especially about your family—’ ‘Okay, this is not calm,’ Tony says, starting to pace, even though he’s not calm either, she’s right. She sighs loudly in his ear. ‘When was the last time you saw him?”

Earthly Dust From Off Thee Shaken by ExpectoPatronum

Summary: “It had started with leaving his bedroom light on at night before he went to sleep. For a while, that had been enough. But then it wasn't.”

“Forever” by WithACherryOnTop

Summary: “Peter could feel the darkness creeping up on him again, like it had only moments earlier in the Avengers Compound bullpen. ‘‘ony.’ ‘Just go to sleep, bud.’ Tony gently scratched his nails at the nape of Peter’s neck. Peter collapsed bonelessly in Tony’s arms, all evidence of the tears, crying, and sobs hidden except for a stained shirt and the boy’s even, congested breaths. Tony wiped a hand over his face, a bit flustered. ‘Wow. That went way worse than I expected." Disclaimer: All characters belong to Marvel and/or Sony. I do not give permission for this work to be copied and/or posted to any other sites.

Gonna Pick Up The Pieces by orphan_account

Summary: “I don’t want to talk to you,’ Peter says. He’s been hiding for the better part of an hour, sitting in the cabin’s laundry room, wedged between the washer and the dryer. Something about the sounds coming off of them calms him, weirdly. The swish of water, the rumble of the motors, cotton rubbing cotton, the button on a pair of jeans dinging the side of the barrel.  ‘That’s bullshit,’ Tony says. ‘You always want to talk to me.’ As true as that usually is, this time it rings discordant and tense. Peter clenches his jaw. ‘Not really,’ he says. ‘You just sorta assume that.’ ‘Of course I do. I make for lovely conversation.’ ‘Eh.”

Head’s On The Fritz by augustheart

Summary: "Hello?’ ‘Tony?’ ‘The one and only. What’s up, kiddo?’ The answer rises up in Peter's throat. Stops at the back of his tongue and wobbles there, heavy and leaden. He wants to spit it out, to cough it into the unbearable silence, to not be loud—but, to be steady. ‘I—’ he says. He trembles. ‘Can you—come over? Please?" Or: Tony makes things better

Hold Me Together by An_Odd_Idea

Summary: “Peter still doesn’t feel quite solid. Sometimes Tony can’t believe he’s really there either. They cope.”

I Have You by sweetspiderstew

Summary: “Tony has Peter all to himself, and there's nothing else like some good quality time in the workshop, but little mishaps happen, and there's a lot of hugging.”

I’ll Be Right Here by An_Odd_Idea

Summary: “Peter has a nightmare, and Tony goes to be sure he’s okay. It’s not the first one of its kind.” 

It Came At Night by Marvelous_Writer

Summary: “What’s supposed to be a normal weekend visit to the Compound turns into one of disaster when unexpected visitors show up." (Set after Spider-Man: Homecoming) Whumptober Day Five: Gunpoint

It’s Time to Leave (and Turn to Dust) by hopeless_hope

Summary: "We’re going to help you, I promise, but you’ve got to trust me. Do you trust me?’ Peter looks at his mentor, fear written across his face. He raises a shaking hand back to Tony’s chest, and Tony places his hand over the kid’s. Peter closes his eyes and feels the hard surface of the arc reactor against his palm.  Peter doesn’t like soft things, but this isn’t soft. It’s solid and steady and strong and feels like a truth he can believe in. It feels like presence.  ‘Yeah, I trust you." (In which Peter has trouble coping with the events of Infinity War, but a certain Tony Stark is there to help.)

Meltdown by inkinmyheartandonthepage

Summary: “You said two-thirty,’ Peter said, acting as if he hadn’t heard Tony. ‘I forgot that you changed it to two thirty and not three.’ Tony took a step towards Peter. ‘Hey, Pete. It’s fine. You’re not that late kiddo. Hell, I’ve been to board meetings hours late.’ The joke didn’t land, and Peter’s eyes started to well with tears. He took in a hiccupping breath. ‘Oh god. I forgot. I forgot." Or: Peter isn't coping after Titan and has been doing everything to keep busy and not think about it. Everything comes to head when he forgets that a time was changed in his busy schedule leading to a meltdown.

Mine, And Yours by crowkag

Summary: “Is it Peter?’ He was met with loaded silence. The anxiety spark became an anxiety plunge and twist. ‘Happy. Is it Peter?’ ‘It’s… well. Who else would it be, right?’ ‘Hogan.’ He hated this. The spark, the plunge, the twist. The tension creeping from his shoulder blades, clawing down arms both flesh and metal, somehow, someway, and bunching up inside his palms. The hysteria of it all. ‘It’s—alright, I won’t sugarcoat it. The kid’s alive, but he got shot, Tony. Twice." Or: Tony reunites with Peter in a less-than-ideal manner.

Relax, Just Breathe by hailfire_73

Summary: “Tony,’ said Peter, lifting his head from the glass, his stubbornness spent. ‘I don’t feel so—’ ‘Do not,’ said Tony, through gritted teeth, and meeting Peter’s eyes in the rearview mirror. He had just one hand on the steering wheel as he drove them into the night. ‘Finish that sentence.’ Morgan leaned over, hung out of her booster seat, and whispered, ‘It gives dad attacks." Or: The Starks go on a road trip that goes wrong when Peter gets food poisoning from questionable carnival food.

Scars Can Heal And Reveal Just Where You Are by parkrstark

Summary: “Jesus Christ, Pete,’ the voice says again, and it's not just a voice. It's a voice that belongs to the shadow. The shadow is light in the dark. It's warm. ‘What are you doing on the floor? You're lucky you're by your bed or else it would have been you breaking my fall.’ Peter blinks at the shadow and can't tell if he's comforted or irritated by the new company. ‘What? No quip about me breaking a hip?’ There's silence. ‘Peter?" 

Shots Ring Out by itsluckyyou

Summary: “Peter Parker had training. Training to deal with robbers, petty crime, and possible alien invasions. Nothing could have possibly trained him for this, though." Or: There's a shooter wandering the halls of Midtown School of Science and Technology.

The Pills (They Gotta Go) by searchingforstars

Summary: “Tony. What are these?’ Tony glances up. Sees the packs of pills clenched in Peter’s fist. He’s sure some of them must be dust judging by the force that Peter is holding them with. ‘My pills?’ ‘Why are they sitting at the back of the pantry?’ Peter asks, voice dangerously low." Or: Tony decides taking his medication is optional. Peter strongly disagrees.

We All Have A Hunger by MotherKarizma

Summary: “Morgan,’ he croaked, throat afire, and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. ‘Hey—hey, it’s okay, I’m just…’ ‘You’re sick.’ She mustered up something like bravery, using it to straighten her back and plaster a very grown-up look on her face. ‘I’ll get Daddy!’ ‘No!’ Morgan jumped, eyes wide. Peter fought to calm his voice. He offered her a smile that couldn’t have been convincing, not even to a five-year-old. ‘No, you don’t have to. I feel better  now. You don’t have to tell him.’ Morgan’s lips wobbled. Peter knew what her fake pout looked like well enough to know this wasn’t it. ‘Petey…’ Peter had a lot of reasons to feel guilty. He felt guilty for scaring her. He felt guilty for forgetting to lock his bedroom door, for making scaring her a possibility. He kind of, in a way, felt guilty for doing it in the first place, though not nearly enough to stop. But more than anything, he felt guilty for this: ‘Morgan, promise me you won’t tell him. He…he won’t let us swim anymore if you do. And I’m not sick, my tummy just hurt a little bit, but I’m all better now. Promise me you won’t tell him, okay?’ ‘But…’ ‘Morgan. Promise.”

We’re Here by An_Odd_Idea

Summary: “Comfortember prompt 3: Nightmares Peter has nightmares about when Thanos stabbed Tony on Titan”

Who Needs a Happy New Year When You Can Have a Happy Forever? by searchingforstars

Summary: “Peter's already feeling insecure about his place in Stark family holiday traditions, but it turns out it doesn't really matter because New Year’s Eve is significantly less fun when you’re a pair of PTSD-riddled superheroes, anyway." Or: Tony has a panic attack in a Burger King.

Without You (I Was Broken) by parkrstark

Summary: "How did you get shot? You just webbed me up 5 stories from being shot!’ ‘D-Didn’t know it was coming.’  ‘Dammit, Peter! This isn’t the first time your spidey sense hasn’t worked. I tried to give you the benefit of the doubt because Rhodey told me I was being insane. Why didn’t you tell me it wasn’t always working? You shouldn’t go out into battle like this when your powers are being wonky and—’ ‘You’re here.’ ‘What?’ ‘You’re here.’ He takes a deep breath. ‘I don’t...I can’t really feel the danger when you’re around."

[wachtelspinat]

Heya~

I often find it very difficult to find the right words, so I apologize in advance if any of what I have to say sounds dry or wrong, but I write it from the heart, I promise🧡

I know how you feel now and how much you get lost when that realization comes along. I learn art all my life, but I don’t succeed anywhere. No matter how long I try to do it, I still keep thinking “well I’m not good enough”. To be honest it scares the shit out of me every day, because if I’ll give up here… well there’s nothing I can do for life than. When I was in school, I was desperately clung to every fandom I had as my last hope to get rid of bad thoughts and I found those two silly characters that stole my heart immediately so of course it’s weird to say but since then Overwatch has become my “home”. It was not the perfect game but it was fun until Ow2 was released. Even if my love for OW is died, I understood that Junkrat and Roadhog took a much more bigger part in my live that I could ever imagine. I thought it was stupid, like come on that’s just a characters from the old and dead game but it turns out they’re not just characters, but in a way, my family or friends that helped me go through a lot of dark times, so it’s okey to love them deeply even if they are not real~

I always wondered, why do I make art? Is it what I really like and enjoy? Is it cost all the struggles and tears? But I found you and I fall in love with your arts immediately. I could have a really bad day in university but then I remember how I just go to your page to rewatch, for only gods knows how many times, your works. I love everything about them, how you can build a perfect shape with just one line, how many expressions and ideas your works have. Your knowledge of the anatomy is just… freaking olympic🤌🏻✨ you gave me the second breath in my path of an artist because looking at your works I was wondering if I ever be able to achieve such a high level and here I’m speaking not only about arts with Junkrat and Roadhog, I speak about every single one that I could find🧡 and I understood that art in general have much much more power in it that anyone thinks. It gives hope, inspiration, safety, emotions and so on~ even without knowing it, you can make another person’s life a little better.

All I wanted to say is - you are a fantastic person, highly talented and hard working. I’m sure everyone who follows your work will support every of your decision. I just wanted to say a big thank you from myself personally for everything you do🧡

hey ! i'm really sorry that it took me so long to respond, last week was just hell on earth. the sheer amount of words you put into this hit me right in the heart, and what you said made me tear up even more.

having a really hard time here to form my words, not only because my brain feels so fried, but because your ask is so sincere and i don't think i can possibly thank you enough. it's so weird, there is this constant battle in my head that everything is futile and trivial and i'm having a hard time seeing some kind of point behind my actions (not only art related). on the other hand, i know that WE give meaning to something. that it's the small things that tends to move mountains. i don't know if i'm making any sense here. point is. by telling me that - in my opinion - my irrelevant art has given you sth, if it's just a smile, new energy to try sth yourself, inspiration... you are shaking my world. and i'm grateful for that in a way i cannot describe.

and seriously, i don't know why we make art. because as you mentioned yourself it is always connected with doubts and despair. before i entered graphic design school back when i was super young i thought drawing was me. the one integral part that made me so ~special~. just to learn that a bunch of people draw, all around the world, and they often draw even better than i could ever achieve! in the last months of being in university i relied a lot on defining myself through my art again. because it immensely helped with my self-concept when everything around me just felt like i wasn't good enough. i'm kind of re-learning again that doing art is not the one thing that defines me. because i tend to heavily lean into that. it is after all the one thing i actually like about myself.

so yeah, thank you so much for reaching out. i love your art and the love you put into it, so i'm hoping that - despite the struggles we all share while being creative - you continue to draw, as so will i <3

(and junkrat and roadhog, man... yeah they're not just characters, they stopped being just characters from a game a long time ago for me. i know i'm a broken record at this point BUT their codependency and independency, the balance between grit and gross and sweet and off-kilter, sweat, tears, blood and some ice-cream on the side, begrudging and thankful - it seems stupid to me too because i know most people just see these comic relief mad max rip-offs but every time i think about their dynamics and some of the stories i've read in fan works it grips my heart and i think "holy shit i love them so. much." - i'm still not done drawing them by a long shot i think, it just feels like i've reached a dead end of some kind? because with little time at hand and even less energy left i struggle to form my thoughts into drawings. but i'm working on that. i'm working on doing some kind of tribute, like a zine with my art from 2016 up to today and some more stuff i've yet to draw (had this idea since 2022 and i've just recently learned SO MUCH about zine making and printing and i finally started putting the first files together). because that feels right, like a proper "here look at this i hope this explains why i love them so much")

[hargrove]

「 HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!! I resurrected this blog at the end of 2023, but in these few months, this dash has given me more happiness than I could have imagined. honestly, I came back as a means of escape when I had a major loss in my family and just didn't want to deal with irl. and y'all have been so welcoming and so amazing, that I want to take this moment to hurl my love right in your faces!

@havvkinsqueen ➠ Victoria!!! I was so excited to learn that you were still bombing around on the dash since I last left. your heather was always a treat, but your Chrissy is such a delight and I'm so stoked to have her in Billy's life. you are an absolute gem, a POWERHOUSE of kindness and positivity. you exemplify everything the rp community should be. I type this wearing the bracelet you made for me, it gives me so much good vibes. I really am serious about running around in cosplay at a con with you this coming year. it'll be rad as hell! here's to a whole new year of crazy rp and irl shenanigans!

@zoomingupthathill ➠ I cannot describe the sheer joy I feel every time you're on my dash, Bee. from waaaaay back when I was writing Klaus and you were Katherine, to now in the ST fandom, you always leave me in awe. the love you have for your own muses is infectious and in turn, makes me love them and want the best for them. you know I don't really do exclusives, but I always considered your Max and my Billy a packaged deal. whatever your Max is going through, she can always count on my Billy to have her back. likewise, I am always there for you. you're an amazing talent and an even better friend. I look forward to a whole new year of sibling craziness, as well as other muse stuff. and good lord, CAN WE GET THIS GIRL A LUCAS??? (I'm trying my best to work on it, I am lol).

@thebabysittertm ➠ dude. friendo. bruh. stark. I don't even know where to begin. my favorite kind of rp is the slow burn stuff filled with lots of character development and headcanons and background stuff, etc. it's basically the hardest thing to find but somehow from the moment we started talking, it all just clicked. the details and thought you put into all of your muses is astounding. I adore the thought process you have in your muses' reasoning behind things. and your writing is out of this world! I feel so lucky that I get to bounce hc's and au's off you all day. all of our ideas and stuff makes me so excited and has fueled me to jump back into this hobby only 10 times harder. all your talent aside, you also an incredible friend who I'm so stoked to talk to every day. here's to a 2024 filled with our two idiots!

@malka-lisitsa ➠ how do I even begin to compliment the sheer amount of talent that exudes from you, November?? from muse development, to writing, to graphics, to server maintaining, to... I don't even know what else! seems like you can do it all! I can't lie, when I initially came back to the dash, I was shying away from any and all cross overs because I have so much anxiety in this community and wanted to keep my corner of the world super small. but your Katherine broke through and I'm so glad she did. I love how you took a character that so many people (even the freaking writers of the show!) wrote off as 2 dimensional and you give her life! layers! meaning! she never feels like a self insert style oc, but she feels so much more well rounded than any version we saw on the show. it's honestly admirable the amount of work you've put in. I'm so lucky to count myself as one of your rp partners and I can't wait to see where Billy and Kat will take us in 2024.

I unfortunately don't have the time to write a seperate message to all of the people on my dash, but I still want to tag people that bring me joy every time I see your urls. all of the following has made the past few months (that should have been dark and awful) feel bright and full of hope. I appreciate every single one of you. ➠

@vitaegratis

@edhellfire

@vcnusians

@scarednotscary

@pierprincess / @nancewheelr

@hangtenn

@calistayed

@asiphon

@nexusvcrti

@multi-royalty

@helltothefire

@mhunster

and of course, I'd be remiss if I didn't list my ride or die. the people who make tumblr rp the amazing place that it is, and people that I will cherish always, whether we're writing together or not. y'all are stuck with me! ➠ @seesgood @breakthings @mysharxna 」

[aylacavebear]

She Thought She was Normal

Story Summary: Maria really thought she was normal, for most of her life. It was normal for people to have natural talent, she would tell herself the older she got. Many things came easy for her, and that was probably how their rivalry began when she was five and he was seven and she met the Winchesters. Little did either of them know that it wouldn't stay like that forever, both having a far larger destiny than they could imagine.

Word Count: 2274

Please don't take my work. I'll post warnings for each chapter. May have future SMUT 18+!

Warnings: Angst, Fluff, Hell, The Pit.

----------------------------------------- Chapter 33 - Hell

Maria woke sometime around two in the morning; one thought circling through her mind: I need to go. She sighed as she felt Dean sleeping peacefully, still holding her close.

Without much thought at all, she was standing next to the bed, dressed casually in jeans and a blue t-shirt, and one of Dean’s red flannels pulled over it, unbuttoned. I can do this, she told herself, letting out a shaky sigh as a note appeared on the night table for Dean. One more deep, shaky breath, and she flew to Hell.

The stench in the air was putrid, causing her to cover her nose and mouth with her arm. The corridor reminded her of something out of a dungeon as it was lined with cells, some pore soul on the other side of the bars of each. There was a dampness in the air that smelled of blood and sweat; some droplets could even be seen on the stone walls. She wanted to take a deep breath but couldn’t, the stench almost making her nauseous.

As she walked down the corridor, she could hear the souls of those behind the blackened iron bars mumbling things or saying they were innocent or even begging for more torture. That caused an idea to play through her mind that she’d bring up later. There were even moments where random cells seemed to glow with the flickers of hellfire, the heat spreading into the corridor. The oddest part was that she didn’t see a single demon or hellhound patrolling the corridors.

“They probably know I’m here,” she mumbled to herself.

She focused her thoughts on finding whoever was in charge of running Hell at the moment and let that feeling guide her through the maze of the dungeon. The amount of cells had dwindled as she turned another corner. These cells didn’t have bars; they had solid metal doors with a window that could be opened to look in on the prisoner. She could hear muffled screams, whimpers, and even sounds that didn’t sound of this world. At the end of the current corridor, there was a door. It reminded her of one of those heavy doors you’d find in a castle. The heat coming off of it was intense.

With sheer determination, she reached out and opened the door with ease, keeping the air around her cool. She knew Hell was hot, but experiencing that heat was on a level all its own. As she looked into the area on the other side of the door, she saw a vast open expanse, chains going in all directions, zigzagging across the vastness of the area. The red, orange, and black colors of hellfire could be seen in the distance, illuminating the expanse. Where the chains crossed others, she noticed that there was a human soul there, chained to it, their body only being held in various places by those chains over the expanse.

“The Pit…” she whispered, taking in the scene further.

A few demons could even be seen, torturing different souls. At those locations, there were small platforms that had more torture devices than she’d ever seen before. Some of the demons were in demonic form, which she found quite grotesque given the horns or wings, elongated arms and legs, claws, and some even had tails. Others looked like regular humans, and she figured that was only to make the torture worse for whatever human was on the chopping block, so to speak. Bone-chilling screams could be heard from several different directions, as well as demonic laughter that sounded almost happily sadistic. Maria was too far away to make out exactly what kind of torture devices any of the specific demons were using, and part of her didn’t want to know.

She had to focus, though, so she pulled her gaze from the horrendous scenes that were mingled along the chains, tilting her head upward, just inside the door. There was no floor here. The door had just opened up into The Pit. She wondered where the ring leader would be to watch over the proceedings, and her gaze found its way upward as she leaned further out of the door. A large glass window was several hundred feet above where she was, and she barely noticed the silhouette of someone standing on the other side of it.

Maria flew into the room where that large glass window was. To her surprise, the room was white, a complete contrast to everything she’d seen thus far. It reminded her of an office to one side, complete with a desk, computer, and filing cabinets with places for people or demons to sit. The weirdest part was that it reminded her of something you’d find on Earth in some corporate building, not in Hell. 

To the other side of the room was a couch, a coffee table, several reclining chairs, and what looked like a bar. Those, too, were white. Her brows scrunched in utter confusion at the scene. This was not what she had expected to find in Hell, of all places, let alone as a place a demon would consider comfortable for their office.

“I was wondering when you’d show up,” a male voice to her left said, pulling her from her thoughts and observations of the room.

His tone is somewhat nasally, or that was how it sounded to her. Maria also noticed that there was no foul odor in this particular room. She turned to face him, noticing his back was still to her as he looked out the window.

“And who are you?” Maria asked him, a bit curiously. She’d met plenty of demons over the years, but this felt very different, stronger than even Azazel was.

He turned to her, eyes turning white, “Alastair. Can’t say it’s nice to meet you.”

She felt a few goosebumps dance down her arms, seeing his eyes go white. Depending on how the demon ranked in hell was always shown with what color their eyes turned. White was at the top of the chain of command. He exuded a menacing yet commanding and powerful presence as he stood there calmly, silently studying her with his eyes. Maria found his facial features rugged, with sharp angles along his jawline. His hair was dark and mostly unkempt. Maria briefly wondered just how long he’d been in his position as she could almost see a touch of sadistic pleasure in his hard expression.

“I’m not here to fight. I’m here to talk. Where’s Lilith?” she asked, managing to stay centered despite Alastair’s commanding presence, letting her powers guide not only her words but also her feelings.

Alastair raised an eyebrow, finding her directness mildly amusing, “She’s busy.”

Maria rolled her eyes. Stubborn demon, she thought to herself, “I’m here to see her, or are you the one in charge of Hell?” she remarked, being a slight smartass, knowing her words alone could pull Lilith from whatever she was doing.

The sadistic yet amused laugh of his filled the space of that office, but it didn’t phase her, “I’m only in charge of The Pit. You’re in my domain now.”

She crossed her arms, still determined, “I could easily go interrupt her, or you could retrieve her. It’s up to you, though.” Maria knew that none of them could hurt her and even let her glow come out, just enough for him to see the purple hue of it. 

Any regular person or even an angel may have missed the millisecond that his jaw tensed or the way he took in a breath of displeasure, even the way his stance changed in the tiniest way. She didn’t smirk or flinch; she just watched him disappear from where he was. So far, so good, she thought to herself as she took a deep breath and relaxed again, walking over to the large window.

He had quite the vantage point from this location, being able to see the entirety of The Pit and the souls strung up along the chains. All of them were at different levels of torture. She could feel the ones who didn’t deserve to even be there, and her hand found its way over her heart, feeling for them and wanting to save them.

Maria wasn’t sure how much time had passed before she heard his voice behind her, “She’ll see you now.” That caused her to turn and look at Alastair. He didn’t look happy at all.

“Will you be taking me to her then?” she asked, raising an eyebrow.

Alastair took a deep, annoyed breath, “Yes.”

She held herself confidently as she walked over to him, keeping it as he placed his hand on her shoulder. Even he knew he couldn’t hurt her, and trying to do so would only end badly, for him. They appeared in what she assumed was some sort of throne room where Lilith conducted business. It had that castle throne room feel to it, although it looked more like an underground dungeon with the dim lighting, the stone pillars along the path to the throne, the low ceiling compared to one you’d find in a castle, and the hellhounds on either side of the throne where Lilith sat. She did not look happy either. Alastair dipped his head to Lilith and then disappeared, leaving the two women alone.

“What do you want?” Lilith demanded, thoroughly annoyed at her presence, causing the hellhounds to growl.

Maria held herself confidently as she glanced at either hellhound, both of which stopped growling at her and then laid down. “I’m here to talk,” she told her, then approached the throne, standing a few feet from it.

Lilith tilted her head slightly, “Fine. What are you here to talk about?” She decided that with how the hellhounds responded to just a look from this creature, she’d at least play nice, for now.

“Things have changed on Earth. I’m here to negotiate other changes that need to take place, in Hell,” Maria explained, not intimidated by her in the least.

Whether Lilith wanted to admit it or not, she knew she was right. She’d felt that feeling that made her skin crawl, peace, radiating off of this creature, and it was infiltrating Hell, “You’re the reason my demons and hellhounds can’t go to certain places on Earth, aren’t you?”

She could hear the annoyance in Lilith’s tone, “Yes, I am, and it will eventually encompass Earth. I’ll let you continue to run hell, but only for the souls that deserve it.” Maria could feel Lilith’s rage at her words but wasn’t going to back down on this one, “I don’t have a choice, do I?” Lilith asked her, pissed at this point.

“I want to do this diplomatically. I believe that even demons can be reasoned with,” she replied.

Lilith got up and began pacing a foot in front of her throne, and Maria noticed that she was chewing on her thumbnail, “What if I don’t agree?” Lilith asked, stopping and glaring at her.

“Then I’ll take the souls that are meant for heaven and kill whatever stands between me and that,” Maria answered her calmly.

The frustrated growl that came out of Lilith was not only somewhat intimidating but also loud. Maria figured half of hell had to have heard it, “There’s one more thing, Lilith. I want you to set up a reform program for any damned soul that wants to redeem itself so it, too, can find its way to heaven,” Maria explained to her.

Lilith’s rage emanated from her in waves, but Maria used her powers to keep it from hitting her. She knew she needed to stay focused. However, when almost a dozen demons poured into the throne room, Maria turned to them, raising an eyebrow. The demons stopped dead in their tracks when they saw Maria, practically bumping into each other just inside the throne room. Normally, she would have found the scene amusing, even chuckling, but not right now. As she turned to face Lilith again, she tilted her head just a bit, “What’s it going to be, Lilith?”

“Fine,” Lilith growled, knowing that she had no choice if she wanted to live. She had one purpose: to be the last seal to be broken for Lucifer’s rising. That was the only reason she was agreeing to this creature’s terms without a fight. Lilith also knew that somehow she’d have to find a way to break the first seal if that would ever happen now. The creature before her was something she’d never interacted with before.

“Pleasure doing business with you,” Maria told her with a triumphant smile.

There would be no more Crossroads deals and no more demons on Earth causing problems. Maria considered that a win, at least where that peace had spread. Without barely a thought, all the souls that were meant for heaven went there. Maria could feel it more than see it. And with that, she flew back to Dean’s room in the bunker.

With time slowing in Hell, barely any time had passed on Earth. It had only been a couple of hours that she’d been gone, and she sighed with relief, seeing Dean still sleeping peacefully. She watched him for a moment, a small smile playing along her lips before she was naked again and cuddled up next to him without disturbing him too much. He did readjust a bit, pulling her closer as he nuzzled into the crook of her neck. She made the note disappear before sleep found her again, nestled safely in the arms of the man she loved. 

----------------------------------------- Chapter 34 - An Unexpected Intrusion

Tag List: @deans-spinster-witch @kazsrm67

Link to the master list for this story.

[corduroyserpent]

When Zhuzhi-lang was fifteen, he was given the world. 

Or at least, that was what it felt like. With a mere touch, he had a full human body. Arms and legs and fingers, eyes that could produce tears, a mouth that could shape the language he had long understood but had never been able to speak. It was everything; he had been given everything.

He knew it didn't mean much to Tianlang-jun. His savior was willful. Tianlang-jun did what he wanted, when he wanted to, and often with no regard to the potential consequences. But it did not matter whether effort or insouciance hid behind Tianlang-jun’s kindness. Zhuzhi-lang would repay it all tenfold. His eternal devotion was only a small fraction of what the man who had given him such a priceless gift deserved, but it was a start. 

There was nothing Zhuzhi-lang would not do for Tianlang-jun. No path he would not walk, no journey he would not undertake, no depth he would not fall to.

Which was why he currently stood, red-faced and stiff as a board, in the back of a brothel. The air was thick with incense, partially obscuring his keen sense of smell. He wrinkled his nose as ladies giggled in bell-like peals above the gentle sound of the guqin. One or two had attempted to pull Zhuzhi-lang into the fray but he had respectfully declined. He was strictly there for business, not pleasure.

Su Xiyan had recently taken Tianlang-jun, and by extension Zhuzhi-lang, to witness the incredible skill of a little-known pipa player in an establishment not unlike his current surroundings. It was one of many breathtaking experiences that Zhuzhi-lang had grown resentful of. 

Uh, no. Not resentful. Suspicious.  

His serpent senses told him in no uncertain terms that Su Xiyan was not to be trusted. But Tianlang-jun was infatuated, as he often was, with anything new and shiny and related to humans. Zhuzhi-lang would try once more to get his lord to see reason. 

The first part of his plan was to steal that marvelous qin player away from her lecherous admirers in order to bring her, and her instrument, back to the Demon Realm. Su Xiyan was not the only person who could find talent or show Tianlang-jun awe-inspiring human sights. Zhuzhi-lang had been by his lord’s side for far longer than some mere human. He could do all of that and more! And he was about to prove it. 

The aromatic haze cleared just enough for Zhuzhi-lang to get a solid view of his goal. There were less people surrounding her than earlier. And two of them looked…familiar. Before Zhuzhi-lang could think to retreat further into the shadows, one of the men turned his head and met Zhuzhi-lang’s wide-eyed gaze. 

“Ah, so you did follow us,” Tianlang-jun said. At his side was none other than Su Xiyan, stoic and straight-backed. “Xiyan was right.”

Su Xiyan smiled, a mild upward tilt of her lips. “What other reason would there have been for the sheer amount of snakes in here?” 

Zhuzhi-lang’s blush grew worse. He thought it would be too dark for the patrons to notice. But Su Xiyan was no ordinary patron. With a click of his tongue, Zhuzhi-lang recalled the normal amount of snakes back to the safety of his robes. 

“If Junshang prefers to be alone with Maiden Su, this subordinate can take his leave.”

“I don’t mind.” Tianlang-jun shrugged, an effortlessly elegant motion. “Though I assume it’s what you would prefer, judging by the color of your cheeks. Pick up a new book for me on the way home, would you? A romance.”

Zhuzhi-lang inclined his head in acknowledgement. He sent one last look towards Su Xiyan, then turned on his heel and left the brothel behind. She had won that time but Zhuzhi-lang was tenacious. There would be plenty of chances for him to get ahead in the future. 

So he set off with a spring in his step to buy the perfect new romance story, blissfully unaware that Su Xiyan had procured a copy of the same novel for Tianlang-jun not a day before. 

[also on ao3!]

[gyuluttony]

Who in svt do you think would get the fattest?

let's do this in order shall we? so from who would be the smallest to who would get the largest. personally, i think there's fat potential in all of them because i'm going to get my grubby hands on everyone.

headcanons below... there's a lot.

13. minghao

he definitely seems like the one who's super into size difference so he'd much rather stay his usual weight while goading the one he's feeding as they get massive. the most you'll catch him with is softening during holidays but he's quick to bounce back while putting ALL the weight he loses onto someone else through his antics.

12. jeonghan

he's someone who would get chubby but not much more than that because he can only do his gremlin activities when he can run from the consequences. that being said, he'd be a GREAT feeder. definitely not immune to the food that he makes so he puts on a little bit of weight but nothing too much because he's also the teasing size difference type of feeder.

11. joshua

also strikes me more of a feeder than someone who'd get fat but i think he'd enjoy being bigger than the one who he's making fatter at the start of the journey and uses his weight to encourage the other person. pressing his belly into them while telling them they should get bigger if they want to be in charge while making them eat.

10. dino

he definitely is the type that would be unaware of how big he gets because of his personality type. he can't button his pants? that's just because he had ramen yesterday (and like everyday for weeks before that) he's bloated, not fat. his steps get heavier? that's just because he's walking flat footed. he'd get pretty big before properly realizing it and then would manage to lose some and think he's basically bounced back.

9. seungkwan

given how hard he works to maintain his physique all it takes is like one little indulgence before he balloons his waistline. it settles a good amount in his ass as well and he doesn't mind that but the belly that comes along with it is something that he could live without. can be coaxed to keeping it with enough attention though but otherwise wouldn't get too large.

8. seokmin

definitely would see the others getting fat and go with it for the sheer vibes of it. he's doing it on purpose and has a hard limit when he breaks through his second pair of pants because he's having a hard time with his gut. doesn't lose the weight but just stays where he's at instead and he's still pretty big. definitely likes the weight a lot more than he lets on and enjoys the teasing that comes from his gluttony.

7. jihoon

oh. this guy doesn't leave his studio at all and while he does workout, if there's a sudden influx of food being brought to him, there's only so many ways it can go. producing on a full stomach gives him more inspiration so he ends up always stuffed to the brim. it's only when he gets stuck in his office chair, love handles pinched to the sides when he decides to stop and that much weight on his shorter frame makes him look massive.

6. soonyoung

considering how much he gets spoiled, i think he'd get pretty massive pretty quickly. he is always babied when he's around people so it'd just incline people to give him food and after a point, he'd start expecting it so more people give in. he doesn't care that his gut protrudes out obscenely far even when he's not stuffed because he's the one getting more snacks all the time.

5. vernon

while he does have odd eating habits (i'm looking at the ice cream olive oil), neither of those things are exactly healthy to eat so with enough weird combinations, i can see him just finding the worst things to eat for both imagination and calories. he puts on the weight as expected but doesn't mind it as he'd vibe with how much more comfortable he is while sleeping thanks to his new fat.

4. mingyu

you can't trust a skinny chef. he's way too talented in the kitchen to be thin. sampling dishes here and there. sampling turns into clearing out pots before he serves the actual product and suddenly, he's struggling to fit between the kitchen island and stove behind him because his butt and gut have gotten so massive. he stays this weight so he can cook barely but it provides a show for those who want to see him still make masterpieces that you can trust based on the girth of the chef.

3. wonwoo

spoiled like soonyoung but even worse because he's just a gamer in his free time so there's less energy to exert. he'd get massive and not even realize it until like jihoon, gets stuck in his chair and subsequently breaks it. it doesn't deter him from stuffing himself on the various meals he's getting so i think he'd be a contender for one of the largest members.

2. jun

if he wasn't in this line of work, he'd definitely be fat and if into feederism, he'd be a feedee of massive proportions. he has such a healthy appetite and encourages so naturally so that others around him would likely get larger as well. i can see him casually breaking furniture under his massive gut and being proud, deciding that he wants to break something bigger next.

seungcheol back at it again with the spoiled boys but he's worse than both wonwoo and soonyoung because he's whiny in addition to being spoiled. asking for more food even when he's eaten more than enough make him easily like the one who would get the fattest in the group. out of everyone i can see him breaking a bed from his sheer girth the easiest. to answer, i think wonwoo, jun, and seungcheol would get the fattest in that order (plus bonuses for EVERYONE cause i love getting asks)

[yourkimjaejin]

Johnny x Moxy (Minny) Moments

Here's a couple of moments in the relationship between Johnny and his little sister Moxy, Enjoy!!! ~ Author Izzy

Studying

Moxy has a one track mind. When she’s focused on something, she won’t stop until she gets it done. 

That gets in the way when Moxy was in school at SOPA

Sometime’s the rapper would get frustrated at how things were worded, how they solved math problems, and the sheer amount of homework given was overwhelming. To avoid it, she would fake like she had dance practice. Dancing all night until she was forced to spend an all nighter finishing her work

After the fifth time Moxy wandered into practice with blood shot eyes that were barely open, Johnny stepped in telling Taeyong he’d handle it.

Johnny told her that his door was open no matter the time. He’d been through what Moxy was going thru but he didn’t have help. 

Anytime Moxy needed it, Johnny would stay up and help solve any question Moxy had regarding her homework

Eventually they formed a system where the two would take over a conference room and knock out her homework for the next day

Cute

When Moxy love’s something, she studies everything she can about it. She wouldn’t be a kpop idol if she didn’t want to know more about the Korean side of her.

But Johnny can’t get enough of Moxy’s little obsessions. He finds her one track mind sooo cute

Like when it comes to wrestling, Moxy loses her collective mind. She’ll start reacting like nobodies in the room with her. He has dozens of videos of Moxy practically hyperventilating at different segments from show

Moxy has a weird eating habit. She eats all the vegetables out of her meal before any rice or meat. Seeing her dig through every section of a meal for any veggies she forgot makes Johnny want to squeeze her.

Johnny could just shake her when Moxy reads something in Korean. It’s when she sounds out the words she doesn't know. 

The audible coo Johnny releases when Moxy’s pouts or glares in frustration

Johnny think’s Moxy is the cutest when she’s listening to music. It’s like she can’t control her body anymore. She’ll start dancing and singing no matter who's around. 

The best are when they’re in the car on the way back home from a schedule. It's those times when Johnny can tell Moxy is lost in another world while listening to her music. Sometimes the two will meet each others eyes. Johnny will smile and Moxy smiles back….yeah those are the times when Moxy is the cutest to Johnny

Awe

Johnny is in AWE of Moxy

Her Strength and Fearlessness. 

Johnny and Doyoung would frequently accompany Moxy to the gymnastics gym to keep an eye on her, making sure she didn’t get hurt 

Sometime’s Johnny couldn’t watch as she threw herself into dangerous trick after dangerous trick. Doyoung would laugh at his hyung hiding behind his fingers.

The couple of times Doyoung was able to get Johnny to look up, he couldn’t help but see why Moxy was considered one of the best from her high school’s cheer squad. 

The strength she held while flipping and cartwheeling across the mat. The fearless expression in her eyes as Johnny watched her do one last rotation at the last second to land properly. 

Her Mind

Johnny could listen to Moxy talk about her passions for hours. 

The best times are when she has an idea for music videos. Johnny can’t count the nights he’s stayed up for hours listening to Moxy’s ideas for NCT music videos

Johnny always encourages her to write them down. Hopefully one day she’ll share them with the company, he knows she will

Her Talent

Johnny is pretty sure nobody is luckier than 127 to have Moxy on their team. She has so much talent it's embarrassing 

Moxy can pick up lyrics in a snap. Choreography comes so easy to her. The versatility of her voice. 

Johnny could spend hours gushing about his little sister so make not to ask him about what’s his favorite thing about Moxy cause you’ll be stuck listening for HOURS

Sexy

There's one thing that all the 127 members know and its that Moxy is considered, by a large margin of male kpop idol’s, to be one of the sexiest female idols out there

A lot of guys take glimpses at her. She never notices because they’re stopped by her fellow members

Johnny has literally seen boys stop what they're doing and gaze at Moxy with so much longing. It makes him sick.

Johnny and Moxy will get into a ton of fights because he’ll want her to cover up  but not explain why. Most of the time, Moxy will change just to get him to shut his mouth

The worst era’s for this were Favorite and Faster. 

Favorite was bad because the stylist thought of the amazing idea “Let's show off Moxy’s body after YEARS of hiding it.”. 

Dresses that stopped right before the middle of her thigh, tight in all the right places(all the wrong places in Johnny eyes). She always wore shorts underneath so she was never afraid to dance full out. 

Faster was even WORSE! Moxy was walking around in leather crop top and pants that showed off just a bit too much for Johnny

Johnny and Yuta have mastered their glares due to this ‘problem’. Jaehyun doesn’t glare so much as he blocks the view of Moxy with his body. 

Moxy hasn’t run them down because of this but it’s coming

Driving

Whenever Moxy wanted to go somewhere, It was on Johnny's gas tank. He took her and anyone with her everywhere

The unofficial reason, Johnny wanted to practice driving in Korea. The official reason, Johnny didn’t trust Moxy alone on Korean Public Transit

But like most big brothers forced to lug their sister’s around Johnny got tired of it. So he began teaching Moxy to drive

In the end, Johnny took Msquared to take their driving test together. Marks loves to rub his higher score in Moxy’s face. 

To keep in practice, one of their older members will take them out for a drive late at night so they don’t get caught by a wandering camera. This usually ends up being Johnny and 

Side Msquared note: Mark and Moxy are saving up to buy a car together

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

Taglist: @alixnsuperstxr / @1-800-call-ria / @sophrodite / @sunflower-0180

[meowww-ffxiv]

Dawntrail level 99 quests leading up to 2nd trial and a bit beyond, into the first quarter of the final area.

.

I wanna say, "Meowdred isn't that good with technology" but honestly the way technology functioned in FFXIV, it was just more regulated magic.

As Meowdred was someone who was masterful with all manners of magic and aetherial manipulation, and was a talented artisan, you'd expect he would as a matter of course be good at technology.

But somehow...there was a disconnect.

He could probably figure out what runes did what on the electrope ores given enough time, and would rapidly be able to incorporate them into his own spellcasting. But crafting or indeed designing large-scale processes and systems... Meowdred don't do. It wasn't that he couldn't, necessarily, but he just had no natural talent at it and would need to spend a stupid, frustrating amount chewing on his own tail to get it done.

--realizations I came to upon all this stuff about Solution Nine and especially the gate to the ??? reflection.

Liios, meanwhile, was indeed an engineer. More than that, he had the formal teaching of Old Sharlayan's aetherology and the indepth knowledge from Garlean machinery, as well as a fair bit of mechanical Thavnairian alchemy.

And he was specifically an Archon in designing complex systems. Because he worked on replicating entire environments in spaces that inherently did not support it.

So Meowdred was on the floor scribing down the runes used on the electropes. Liios was um.

He was trying to drill into the floor.

And he'd tried to climb on that gate under the Skydeep Cenote at least twice now. Once when he first saw it, and the second time when they were about to open it for real.

.

Y'shtola: We don't know which reflection this leads to.

Meowdred: It's likely the one that's swallowed by lightning. The Umbral Calamity that heralded its doom was the second recorded, and going by Raha's own records, it was probably the Twelfth.

Meowdred: Here in the Source, crystals become sapped of elemental aspect preceding a Calamity. So it also makes sense that electrope, a superiorly levin-aspected ore, makes its appearance on this shard in the old days.

G'raha, who sometimes forgot that Meowdred was also a historian: 😳😳😳

.

That gondola ride in the Unlost World with G'raha...

This was a bit more personal between him and Mordred (Theodore went with Erenville, because he was worried about him).

Mordred told virtually no one about the sheer scale of what he lost during the Seventh Umbral Calamity. He shared some of it with Alisaie, mostly to comfort her. And Theodore, whose soul at time brushed his due to their Echo, knew the details sort of against his will...

But a lot of those people lost to Mordred appeared in the Aitiascope, deep in the aetherial sea, to protect him. They numbered in the dozens, though not many still had clear forms anymore. And the Scions bore horrifying witness to Mordred breaking down crying and telling them he was sorry, that he lived instead of them, that it wasn't fair.

The topic of his survivor's guilt and depression made Mordred deeply uncomfortable, so none of his friends approached it outright with him. And in that way, he and G'raha were unfortunately exactly alike.

Mordred hadn't asked G'raha about his time as the Crystal Exarch, all the years he was in charge of the Crystarium. He didn't because he knew the death toll all too well, and the crushing grief it might have cast on G'raha's shoulders. And G'raha, likewise, had not mentioned it but rather kept to the silence gratefully.

So the gondola ride was the first time G'raha opened that lid a crack -- for all that they were close, for all that Mordred would risk anything and everything for this man. And the wound was as raw as Mordred had feared it would be.

They sat very close, side by side.

[walugus-grudenburg]

Rogue Legacy 2 cut content is pretty interesting. Even just the stuff that made it into the game files and later the wiki.

To start off, this unused text for the unused Booyan reprise (RIP to a real one btw) as well as just being amusing, when combined with Naamah's whole story it seems to paint Cain as someone who looks for talents in people.

...Then he squanders their talents by appointing them forever to war-focused and/or endlessly unproductive tasks. Which, given how things went with the Estuaries, is not a surprise.

Speaking of entirely cut NPCs, the Musician:

Not sure if this would replace the events at the Ceremony of Return Lamech's room, or if it would have happened instead, but either way this would have been pretty devastating if it was canon.

(side note: the temporary image for this guy (they never got far enough for art) is absolutely goofy:)

Now, unused Scars:

Seems like the hidden memory in the tutorial was originally going to be a Boss Rush scar. Probably cut because there is already a lot of "fight the bosses but different" scars, and this would have been "fight the bosses but they're exactly the same actually. maybe a different arena if we feel like it."

Additionally, Divergent Dimensions seemingly would have been a Prime boss rush instead. And instead of being about Jonah's puppeteering, the memory would have been about Irad's scheme.

Presumably also cut for being just a boss rush. Though this one might have been interesting for sheer difficulty (not that Divergent Dimensions isn't already crazy hard though.)

That's it for all the ones with even a shred of story implications. Now here's a couple with nothing but gameplay implications:

Seems like Commander Estuaries were planned for the base game as a burden. Good riddance, and some combos are so miserable in general so I'm not really pleased that they made it into True Rogue, even.

Refighting bosses for loot seems like an interesting concept. In practice it would have most likely felt obligate though due to the sheer amount of loot that the bosses drop. Plus, given how NG+ centric long-term progression is, there's already far more than enough opportunities to refight the bosses. I see why it was cut.

[kokinu09]

10, 11, 12, 13, 17, 18, 25, 29, 34 and 35 ☺️

Hot damn!! You’re basically giving me a quiz at this point! 😂

Let’s jump right into it shall we?

10. What's your favorite part about the fic writing process?

My favorite part of the process is honestly the planning. I love when something just hits me with inspiration and a story start building in my head.

11. Are there any tropes that you particularly enjoy writing?

I’m a sucker for romance so usually those types of tropes are what I’m gravitate towards. But more recently, I’ve been writing some underdog, overcoming adversity tropes.

12. Are there any clichés or tropes that you actively avoid in your fics?

I am actually pretty open to just about anything but I’m sure you could throw something at me and I’d find out I’m not so much 😂😂😂

13. What's the most challenging aspect of writing fanfiction for you?

Does ‘finding time to write’ count? 😂 No? Ok. 😂 So dialogue is actually the hardest thing for me because I really try to think about what the characters would say and sometimes that’s really difficult given fic topic or scenario 😂

17. What's the most memorable comment or review you've received on one of your fics?

I remember the first time I got a play-by-play review and omg it made me grin like a f*cking idiot at work. To this day, those types of reviews make me giddy and giggly.

18. Are there any fics or authors that have been particularly influential or inspiring to you?

Umm??? You??? 😂😂😂 I have been following your writing since before we ever even actually talked and I still strive to encapsulate even a glint of your ability to describe environment and feeling. I am also super inspired by @kangaracha. It amazes me the sheer amount she writes and it never ever feels like word vomit. We all know NEVERMORE is one of my favorite fics, and man the world building?? F*cking impeccable. 😩👌❤️ I have such talented friends!!

25. Are there any specific writing tools that you find helpful?

Google. I use Google to figure out what words I’m trying to think of all the time 😂 “hey google, word that means XYZ” 😂😂😂

I also use Grammarly for quick editing

29. Are there any characters, relationships, or general character dynamics you've never written about but would like to try?

Geez, I’m not sure 🤔 I’ve been sitting here trying to think of a dynamic I’ve not written that I want to and I’m coming up short 🤷‍♀️

34. Are there any fic writing tips or tricks you've learned along the way that you'd like to share?

Something I’ve had to relearn is fanfiction is meant to be for YOU. Write for YOU. Write what YOU would want to read and f*cking read it!! I got into the funk of trying to please readers too much and it felt like it put up a barrier (aka writers block) to where I just couldn’t bring myself to write. Now, I’m working on me and just working on what makes me happy.

35. What do you enjoy most about being a fic writer?

The people I’ve met and the friends I’ve made because of the fandoms ❤️ writing is the only way I actually put myself out there

Questions for Fic Writers

[accursedkaleeshi]

Accursed's Izvoshra: Kedjat

Kedjat was the son Obidos & Meriij-an into the Miir-Y’mbotu. Kedjat was the most middle of middle children. He wasn’t particularly gifted at any of the activities his parents foisted upon him & he felt he never really stood out. 850 words under cut.

         He figured he was never going to get recognition anyway so he may as well do things that made him feel good. This mostly comprised of sleeping, avoiding work, & finding new substances to be wildly irresponsible with. Between his lyxai’ma Mamballa the apothecary assassin & his liimasyr Mirraj-an, working under her & with a tea for every occasion, Kedjat’s substance experimentation was well-funded.

         Kedjat was treated well in the family with some of the oldest wealth in modern Kalee & never wanted for anything. He even had his own pet buflor & shared his brothers’ wind paddle boats. But he never really felt quite understood. In a traditional family in a communal society, Kedjat’s “How I Feel” first attitude got him labeled as a troublemaker. He lived up to that label to the fullest.

         Kedjat left home at 13, bribing his way to the mainland on a supply ship. Once he was free he made his way around the East. He always kept plenty of legitimate resources on hand, presenting himself as an herbalist to minimize incidents. Incidents here meaning suspicion & things like being run out of town.

         Kedjat came upon Qymaen’s warband at 15. Well, he came upon their camp because he heard there was a bug skirmish nearby & went the opposite fuckin direction. There was just 2 poor bastards left behind on watch. He shot them both with a blowdart of his own concoction. There was only a 20% chance they would drop dead. Luckily the watch both thought the other was fucking with them & went to sit on opposite sides of the camp, whereupon they fell asleep.

         Kedjat was feeling pretty proud of himself. He had adjusted very well to being on his own. He was plenty full of himself when he started going through the war camp’s stuff. He was chased off & consequently clocked in the temple by Qymaen. Luckily for him the war band was in its infancy, otherwise there would have been many more angry kaleesh to deal with plus bonus Sk’ar the size of a mountain. Even so, Qymaen & Ronderu gave him a proper thrashing.

         When Ronderu pulled out a sword caked in bug blood Kedjat went into emergency bargaining mode, offering up all kinds of things to save his hide. Qymaen was like “we don’t need a thief’s poison” but Ronderu was like “Hol’ up…what u got?” Kedjat quickly pointed out his packs he’d set to the side & offered them whatever they wanted. (pls imagine Ronderu holding up bags of alien good shit like “We getting fuckt up tonight BOYS”)

         The sheer amount of stuff Kedjat had was very impressive. So impressive, in fact, that Grievous remembered him years later, seeking him out when he’d heard he was in the next town over. Given that the last thing Qymaen had said to him was “if they ever met again he’d kill him” Kedjat of course ran the fuck away. Grievous had to actually physically catch him after a Scooby-doo style chase through a marina.

         See Grievous was on his way back from the dead. He’d planned to burn the bugs out of the installation he had been working out of. Kedjat had tried to act hard at first & ask what he would get out of helping him. The answer turned out to be “living” so he dropped the act. Kedjat was actually hype as hell to weaponize his talents & he did this very well.

         Kedjat was obnoxious & selfish & generally a mess but between his & Grievous’ intelligence they pioneered Kaleeshi chemical warfare. Kedjat, Grievous & Marsar’ys did all of the work in figuring out the Huk’s weaponry.

         Besides finding new & exciting things to set on fire, Kedjat knew how to move product. His main function in the Izvoshra was managing the supply chains. Especially as the military got much larger. Even as they spread into the system’s space. He & Daakalidae were the comms jockeys of the crew. Kedjat would sometimes use his family connections to bring in long range “artillery” & traditionally trained kaleeshi archers.

         He felt he had a much better family in the Izvoshra. Even though he would still sometimes feel inadequate (he was more of a scrapper than a warrior) he truly felt he belonged with them. It was his job to make sure his friends were taking care of themselves. This was not a thing most kaleesh prioritized, especially warriors & most especially Grievous.

         Despite being a huge fucking loudmouth he managed to keep his privkliin a secret for the entire war. After the Republic ended the war his activities included bullying Grievous into taking more wives, streamlining pirate & smuggler influx & keeping his supply chains running. He was voted The Worst Uncle by Grievous’ wives. The other Izvoshra also encouraged him to get onto better terms with his family. He was getting better at expressing his feelings. He of course was fucking obliterated in Dooku’s shuttle bombing that took down Grievous.

[johlee24]

Beyond Grades: Decoding the College Process

This picture displays my Spider-Man bobblehead figure in front of my "Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse" poster.

I've been a Spider-Man fan for as long as I can remember. To me, he represents that everyone has the potential to be someone impactful and special, and that you have a responsibility to do good with the skills and talents you possess.

The two objects are both gifts given to me by my older friends, and the two labels on the objects (The Amazing Spider-Man and Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse) represent the fact that our friendship has been firm for a very long time.

Miles Morales, the main subject in the poster, seems to be reaching towards the Peter Parker figure. This makes emphasizes both of the main subjects of the photo. I left a decent amount of blank wall space on either sides of the poster as well to show that Spider-Man, although being an important party of my free time/leisure life, is still just a fraction of my interests. The Spider-Man bobblehead is also sitting on the frame of my bed so that it can be positioned properly under the poster.

The color very much pops out, as the blue and red color scheme is very bright, contrasting the gray bed frame and pale blue wall. The color scheme of the poster also contrasts the color scheme of the bobblehead, as the blues and reds of the figure are much brighter in comparison to the dark blues of the poster.

Navigating the intricacies of college admissions can feel like learning a foreign language - one full of implicit regulations and subtle expectations that go beyond academic achievement. Drawing on the shrewd insights from Warren, Gladwell, and Fain's works, we gain an in-depth understanding into this complex literacy which encourages us to explore further than simply grades or test scores.

Warren's insights shed light on an oft-neglected element of admissions literacy: the enigmatic 'personality' factor. This concept may cause some to raise their eyebrows – what precisely constitutes personality from a college admissions officer’s perspective? Could it be charm radiating off of an essay, or is it more about exhibiting leadership skills through extracurricular activities? As Warren alludes to, one must take into account various attributes that together build up a fuller image of who the applicant really is beyond merely examining academic accomplishments. The fuller image that I try to build for myself in the admissions process is lost in the piles of concepts I’ve dipped my toes into, whether that be film, coding, or the variety of clubs and activities I barely participated in.

Malcolm Gladwell dives deep into the Ivy League's long-standing admissions practices with his insightful examination. It's not only about what your grades and qualifications are; it’s also about how you fit in terms of institutional values and expectations, which can change over time. He makes a compelling case that factors like dedication and social savvy may be even more important than sheer intellectual ability when applying for these prestigious universities - Harvard being an especially eye-opening example: those applicants who received the highest personal rating (1) were rejected at just 2.5%. This highlights to us that there is much more involved in achieving success through university admission than we initially thought – truly redefining our understanding of 'success'.

The admission essay is an essential element in the admissions process, allowing students to illustrate their individuality and articulate why they are a good fit for the institution. Crafting this piece of writing requires a deft hand as it demands both self-expression and alignment with school values. It's like dancing; one must carefully choreograph their presentation of accomplishments while staying true to themselves. The challenge here lies in successfully balancing these two seemingly conflicting objectives – only then can applicants truly come alive on paper.

Fain's work, though more implicit in the context of employment practices, echoes the same themes regarding selection and how intangible elements factor into institutional decisions. This blog post draws parallels between job recruitment and college admissions to demonstrate a universal truth: those criteria that inform our choices are often just as much about one’s potential contributions to a community culture as they are individual successes. The evidence provided by Warren, Gladwell, and Fain goes on to show that having admission literacy requires far more than simply being able read or possessing an above average IQ; it means understanding cultural narratives which shape these processes plus spotting all those subtle cues signaling if someone is "the right fit" for an admissions committee.

The implications of these revelations call for us to have a meaningful conversation about equity and transparency within the college admissions process. Should universities be more direct in explaining what they look for from applicants? No matter how hard I look, I can’t seem to find an advantage suited for myself. I see myself as a sub-par candidate for the schools my parents expect me to apply to, thus the stress I endure increases the closer the deadline comes.

To the families and students beginning this journey: think of this blog as a compass, helping you to chart your way through college admissions. It encourages you to look deeper than just grades or prompts, but also get an idea of the bigger picture involved in making decisions about higher education. In other words, it's all about interpreting between-the-lines details and creating an account that will strike a chord with those who decide on applications for colleges.

As we draw to a close, it's important to remember that the admissions process may appear convoluted; however, by grasping its nuances and intricacies, we can better equip ourselves for success. Crafting an essay that authentically reflects our 'inner force', as well as being mindful of cultural fit requirements when considering universities are essential aspects in mastering this literacy - which is key for access into higher education. As applications open up each year I'd like to encourage applicants not only see this journey towards college admission but also view it through a lens of self-exploration and development.

Work Cited:

Fain, Paul. "Social class influences where even valedictorians go to college, research finds." Inside Higher Ed, 2 May 2013. 

Jordan, June. "Nobody Mean More to Me Than You And the Future Life of Willie Jordan." Harvard Education Review, vol. 58, no. 3, 1988, pp. 363-375.

Rudnick, Paul. "College-Application Essay." The New Yorker, 20 Oct. 2014.

[dawnscall]

A letter arrives at Dawn Winery, a bit crumpled at the edges and worn but bearing a familiar script despite the lack of quality parchment or familiar perfume it's sender's letters usually held. Most alarmingly the corner seemed to be embossed with the name of a notorious prison from abroad, or maybe it wasn't all that alarming at all given who had definitely written whatever was inside.

Diluc,

You're probably not going to want to hear this but I'm currently being held in Fontaine's Fortress of Meropide for a crime I most definitely didn't commit! I know you may feel a bit skeptical about that fact, and you probably have that adorable little furrow in your brow you get when you're trying to decide if you believe me or not, but I swear on my honor as a warrior that I couldn't have possibly kidnapped all of these young women when I would've been even younger than Teucer when this all started!

Anyway, I suppose I won't be able to keep my promise to visit again soon to get away from this boring assignment because I have no idea how long it'll take for me to get out of here unless I break myself out by force. ( Mr. Warden if you're reading this, which I'm sure you are, I thank you for allowing the opportunity to write this letter but this is a serious threat and I hope you'll give me an exhilarating fight when it happens. ) Please wait for me while I attempt to get back at this so-called system of justice in this so-called nation of justice.

I hope all's been well with you. Things have been a little complicated lately for me in more ways than one but it's nothing I can't handle! Looking forward to a good spar since nobody here seems to want to take me on seriously, so don't do anything I'd do- or do and tell me all about it once I get to see you again!

Yours Always, Tartaglia.

@inanthesis + ( 1 ) unruly yet beloved harbinger

to say that upon receiving the letter, a previously unforeseen migraine would follow soon after reading it would be a devastating understatement. of course childe would get himself into trouble some way, some how while he was in fontaine. he possessed a rare talent unlike anything he'd ever encountered before— one where everywhere he went, trouble would soon follow, and this was no exception. if there was one thing in all of his letter that childe was most correct about, it was that his brow was indeed furrowed, fingers pinching the bridge of his nose as the initial stress of the news of his detainment had yet to ebb away.

as for the matter of what poor master diluc is expected to do knowing his rambunctious and thoroughly incorrigible beau was being held in the fortress of meropide... he could only shake his head. his letter didn't inspire any confidence that he wouldn't continue to look for more trouble, either— no. in fact, he was surprised, given that childe chose to pick a fight with the warden within his letter, that it even somehow managed to reach him at all. there truly was something to be said about the amount of sheer dumb luck this man possessed. all that was left to do to settle his nerves was write back to him, and pray that he didn't manage to make things worse in the meantime, as was well within his capabilities.

Tartaglia, Despite how I find it hard to believe you weren't looking for trouble and seeking out the champions within Fontaine for a good fight... I actually do believe this is a crime that you could not have committed. Still, I expect that while you've had ample time to think about how you might retaliate, you should probably lay low and wait to see how things shake out. Leave it to you to find trouble wherever you go. Please do not pick fights with the wardens... the more annoyed with you they become, the more difficult it will be when you eventually will stand trial once more. Pick your battles carefully, and maybe you won't have such a hard time. Truthfully, everything here has been rather quiet lately. I, however, was a bit disappointed that you never came to follow through on the plans we made. I suppose I cannot hang that over your head, given the circumstances, but I do expect that upon your successful and hopefully unaggravated release, that you'll find your way back to me. In the meantime, I suppose you'll have to make due with the thought that I've fought quite a number of powerful enemies in your absence, so if you'd like me to tell you all about them, you'll have to hurry back. I'll be waiting for you. With my love, Diluc

[xmystophalesx]

Best New Heavy Metal Releases Week of March 10th, 2023

God damnit, I LOVE Heavy Metal music. You would think with just the sheer amount of music I listen to in any given week, it would lead to burnout at some point. I will admit there are stretches through my overall weekly playlist that can get discouraging. This mostly happens when i get a stretch of 4-5 bad albums in a row. Horrid vocals (If you are going to sing clean, you better be able to actually sing), Piss poor production (in the modern age there is no excuse for having a shitty sounding album), ultra generic songwriting (I’m looking at you Metalcore genre! Vary it up a bit for fuck’s sake!). On these albums, I usually bail pretty quick. If the first two tracks are terrible, I will jump around to a couple more and then hit the delete button. Like I said, 4-5 of those in a row can be discouraging, but then you come across a new band that blows you away and BOOM! You get a strong case of the stank face (Thanks Benjamin Yaker for enlightening me on this term…lol) and you remember why you absolutely LOVE this music. This week definitely had some stank face worthy albums. Lets get to those highlights!

Marauder-Metal Constructions (Heavy/Power/Traditional)**

It is no secret that one of the best Heavy Metal scenes in the world is in Greece. Not exactly sure why but I know whenever I come across a band hailing from Greece, I always look forward to it as it is rarely disappointing. Marauder is no exception. Killer blend of Traditional Metal mixed with some Power Metal tempos and tinges of Thrash Metal aggression here and there. I hear some Iced Earth influences here without the band actually sounding like Iced Earth, if that makes any sense. This is a very easy album to recommend to any fan of Metal.

Evil X-Hell Reigns Down (Heavy)**(jan 11)

One outstanding Traditional Metal album deserves another. Not sure how I missed this in the beginning of January as weak as the beginning of the year was. If you are a fan of that 80s metal sound, this album will definitely scratch that itch. Riffs for days that make it impossible NOT to bang your head as you listen. I get a strong Accept influence out of this one and that will always be a great thing in my book.

Brundarkh-Those Born of Fire & Shadow (Symphonic/Melodic Death/Black)**

I’m a big fan of Dimmu Borgir and the way they blend Symphonic elements into their Black Metal. Brundarkh does something very similar while also adding some Melodic Death Metal influences as well. This album just sounds heavy as fuck, while at the same time having moments that come across as feeling uplifting at the same time. The dichotomy of this is what really drew me into this album. Even if Dimmu is not your thing, give this one a chance, it may surprise you.

Nanowar of Steel-Dislike to False Metal (Heavy Power/Hard Rock)**

I’m not really one for parody music but I will make exceptions if it is done exceedingly well and that is the case with Nanowar of Steel. This is just a fun album to listen to. Will it impact your life and one you will remember when you are in an assisted living facility and you start singing “Disco Metal” inbetween your pudding cups? Probably not, but it IS a damn fun album. I mention the track “Disco Metal” as I think this shows the talent level of this band. Yes, they are making a joke but I would contend this would be a legitimate hit song in dance clubs. Listen to the track and tell me i’m wrong…lol

Tribe of Pazuzu-Blasphemous Prophecies (Death/Black)**

Earlier I mentioned the term “stank face”. It was regarding this album. This is the face you make when those filthy riffs and blazing leads feel like they are going to melt your face with just how damn good they are. This album is only 29 minutes in length but it feels like they pack 3 albums’ worth of riffs into this thing. Add to all of this some of the best drumming I have heard on an album so far this year and you have one of the very best Blackened Death Metal albums I have ever heard. Looking them up on the Metal Pages for some background info and the reason this is so damn good becomes instantly clear. Guitars courtesy of John McEntee (Incantation) and the insane drum work courtesy of Flo Mounier (Cryptopsy). It really doesn’t get better than this in this genre.

That will do it for another week of killer Metal music that reaffirms your love of heavy music. To think my mom thought this was a phase I was going through 43 years ago….lol Listen to music and fill your soul with happiness. Until next week and, as always,

BANG THY HEAD!!!

All worthy of a listen if you like the genre

*= standout in that genre

**=best of the week regardless of genre

Best of the Week

Tribe of Pazuzu-Blasphemous Prophecies (Death/Black)**

Seventh Crystal-Wonderland (Hard Rock)*?

Brundarkh-Those Born of Fire & Shadow (Symphonic/Melodic Death/Black)**

Evil X-Hell Reigns Down (Heavy)**(jan 11)

Frozen Crown-Call of the North (Power)**

Nanowar of Steel-Dislike to False Metal (Heavy Power/Hard Rock)**

Marauder-Metal Constructions (Heavy/Power/Traditional)**

Asphagor-Pyrogenesis (Black)**

Sacrificium-Oblivion (Death/Melodic)**

Standouts in their Genre

Altar of I-Human Resources (Melodic Death)*

Echoes of Bronze-Ilium (Power/Progressive)*

Periphery-V:Djent is not a Genre (Progressive/Djent)*

Monolyth-We’ve Caught the Sun (Heavy/Thrash)*

Enshrined-The Grand Failure (Thrash/Death)*

Reboot the System-The Fall (Melodic Death/Thrash)*

Trollgrad-Tales of Gold Fever (Folk/Viking)*

Depraved Murder-Unethical Terrestrial Collapse (Brutal Death)*

Alwaid-Twelve Daemons (Symphonic/Heavy)*

Damage SFP-Punished By The System (Thrash)*

Weight of Emptiness-Withered Paradogma (Melodic Doom/Death)*

Nepenthes-Grand Guignol (Doom)*

Sonambula-Estasis Interrumpida (Death)*

Exelerate-Exelerate (Thrash)*

Ice Age-Waves of Loss and Power (Progressive)*

Dreamlore-Strength Beyond Death (Death)*

Triumpher-Storming the Walls (Progressive Heavy/Power)*

The Fallen Prophets-Perpetual Damnation (Melodic Death)*

Noxium Ferus-Blasphemicon (Death/Black)*

Goat Explosion-Threatening Skies ((Heavy/Doom)*

Gorod-The Orb (Technical Death/Progressive)*

Intrepid Bloom-Missing Link (Hard Rock)*

Prediction-Unholy Flame (Black/Thrash)*

Worth A Listen

Qwalen-Syva Hiljaisuus (Black)

Incatombe-Ytra (Brutal Death)

Virtusira-We Will Writhe (Progressive Death)

Nomad-The Mountain (Progressive Death)

I’ll Omen-March of Decay (Thrash/Speed/Raw)

Whipworm-Gozer (Death/Thrash)

Burden of Ymir-Heorot (Black/Folk)

Pick of the week goes to Tribe of Pazuzu with 5 bulldogs judging your stank face out of 5.

[dasboligrafo]

TheatrePass Diaries: A Little Life at Brooklyn Academy of Music

Heh. Yes, bitch. I saw this one. I have so very many thoughts about this (probably?) good play about a bad, bad book. This placeholder post on the play the Post deemed "the most torturous New York theatre experience ever" to be completed during my next pointless conference call...

Placeholder no more:

First a tally of whats wrong with this play: it's based on a very bad book: it's very, very long; it's stomach-churningly violent; it's so long and violent that it's eventually deadening. It has moments of utter discordance, even cringe, and not just (I think) from adhering to its source material (which, did I mention, is very bad?) The casting occasionally felt like a very large pebble at the bottom of a really hard shoe. There are few (no?) moments of simple pleasure. Some of the audience maybe hadn't read the book and were clearly not sufficiently trigger-warned 😬 The start time did not allow enough after-work hours to get in the right amount of prophylactic drinking (infinity hours?!); I understand why you can't have infinity long intermission, but same. And -- perhaps more seriously than some of these jokey/obviousy grievances -- some of the van Hove choices felt a bit played out.

And yet....

So, one of the reviewers panning the play (lol, all of them) published last month argued that the play was bad bc it kept none of the things they loved about the book, the things that made all of the horrible parts of the story bearable. Straight off, thats a red flag for me. I have trouble imagining any sort of critical reading of this giant WOOF of a book that could be uncomplicatedly enjoyable. The "enjoyable" parts of the book (the non-torture porn parts, I take it), presumably the fucking endless descriptions of the gorgeous, talented (Mary Stu) MCs and their perfect New York lives -- it all reads very much like wealth porn. Without turning this note that's supposed to be about the play into a comprehensive take down of a book I obviously despised, I won't speculate here about the motives of the author (who is not a gay man) in writing a kind of reverse fairy tale with the trajectory of a romance (but no HEA) about the lives of post-AIDS New York gays performing aesthetically flawless lives while awaiting the too-punctual arrival of the reaper. Like, given that they all fucking die at the end whats the enjoyable content here -- descriptions of the natural stone kitchen island countertops they got to use first?!

Van Hove's adaptation dials all that shit way down, reducing it to mostly plot turns (the really gay one has a painting in the MOMA!) and mildly annoying/ridiculous exposition ("Oh my God, Jude [played by an actor on the wrong side of 40s], your sylph-like beauty!"). What he doesn't fucking dial down like at all is the violence, taking it brashly, unflinchingly, to a cartoonish, cringeful nadir -- the scene when Dr Evil runs over Jude's legs with his car, depicted on stage by a sort of comically large headlight-style lamp and Jude's gratingly childish screams.

Thinking about the assemblage of directorial choices, I can't help but conclude (hope springs eternal?) that van Hove found this book as weird and problematic as some of us. Like, I don't think van Hove doesn't know what a hot dude is. Ffs, I don't even think they were wearing boxer briefs in the sex scenes! (you know exactly what I'm talking about.) I don't think van Hove thought playing an Arcade Fire song as a moment of joyous, fun catharsis wasn't weird and jarring. I don't think he thought his play wasn't sheer fucking torture without a moment of pleasurable relief.

Because his critics are right, you know. The book has parts in it that are fun, even enjoyable to read, and I think that's absolutely crazy! It's the ultimate authorial gotcha, making you like reading about bougie shit to the point you forget about child sex slavery, and this author is no Nabokov.

There's also the matter of precedent: van Hove's adaptation of The Fountainhead, an equally immoral/boring af veritable tome that simply nobody should read, ever. That play was 3+ hours long and featured, in its closing act, an on-stage clock measuring the excruciating duration of Howard Roark's final monologue (15+ minutes that might as well be 1,000 after 3 hours).

Sidebar -- a finance bro type got an usher to demand *in the middle of the play* that I show my ticket to prove I was in my right seat. I never forgot my bitterness over this; I stopped donating to BAM beyond the basic member level after that. Like, did you even watch the play?! (@ the usher, I know the bro definitely enjoyed the book.)

I gotta wrap this up I guess. A Little Life the play is not boring -- though this being my 7th or 8th van Hove, the giant on-stage Box of Doom didn't surprise quite as much as it might have. Yet-- even though I wasn't surprised, its descent, like a giant, gliding bell jar, in the play's final act, was still devastating. I wept disconsolately, slumped in my seat, through the final 5 minutes and the awkward standing ovation. I asked myself why I bought tickets to the torture show about a book I hated. I guess if i believe my theory that van Hove also hated the book, I'm at least not alone. Is that good theatre?

And -- it's possible that I don't get this book and van Hove actually liked it. I know a lot of people (including, notably, several gay men) who unironically enjoyed -- even loved -- this book. I accept there's a dimension of melodrama/stigmata-passion play pastiche that resonates with certain gay audiences that I don't find personally accessible.

If that's true, then the play was a failure, because you hate every second of it, and then there's no thought experiment facet to analyze after the fact to palliate the horror.

But is it, nevertheless, good theatre?