#and given the fact he teamed up with Ra's later... yeah
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bluerosefox · 1 year ago
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Tim, buddy, what do you mean you might had accidentally made a Love Child?!
Danny finds out that
1. He's a clonish 'love child' of two heroes
2. He was accidentally created during one of his donors mental break downs after losing his father and best friends (one of which was his other donor)
3. CW interfered before his creator realized what he made and pulled him out of that dimension because "it would had lead that world to true ruin if he found out at his state of mind. He's better now but it would had been the final straw for him should anything had happened to you in his care and given who he had to partner up with later... I did what I had to."
4. Due to Danny having a bad fall out with his parents after he told them about being Phantom (they didn't attack him... but they did disown him.) Danny is left adrift of what to do. He doesn't wanna bug Jazz, she's in college and dorming. Tuckers place has no room. Sam's parents would never let him stay. Vlad was a definitely a no go. And Dani (Ellie) last check in was near the Amazon rainforest.
5. Danny finds out some of his powers might not be as ghostly as he thought... it does explain the huge power boost some of his powers have compared to other ghosts.
6. He went to Clockwork... who proceeded to tell him the truth, smile his cryptic smile while saying "and now. Have fun this time around. I'll see you again in due time Daniel." Before yeeting him into a portal.
7. Danny woke up in his home dimension.... deaged to being five years old (the age he would be if he stayed and grew by now) (DC timeline is slower than DP in this)
8. He woke up apparently his creator's home city... during a Gala (Danny woke up in a garden, dazed and confused. His memories are fuzzy)... and wandered into the party... and apparently he looked like a perfect mix of his.. dads? Which catches A LOT of peoples attention.
9. Especially with Tim Drake-Wayne and Conner Kent-Luthor just announcing they're dating that very night.
10. Rumors and gossip of a random kid, who looks just like the recent happily announced couple, go flying quickly among the elite... and reaches certain ears before it gets to batfam and supers (I have a feeling they learned how to block out rumors and gossips during these events)
11. Those ears happen to be Lex Luthor and Ra's al Ghul (both who are there at the Gala just to annoy and unnerve the Bats and Supers)
12. By the time the rumors get to Tim and Conner, they find Danny almost getting taken away by one of those two.
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f4nd0m-fun · 6 months ago
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I love ALL of this. 🤩
Maybe that's why Bruce is so good at getting the JLs attention during meetings, also why his kids are good with their teams. Like, yeah they've learned how to lead and such, the siren-esque just makes things easier outside of Gotham. Altho they've also learned to control their voices some, Bruce forgoes speaking in part because he doesn't like talking and in part because his voice is stronger so he has to work harder to make it easier on others.
Oh gods I love those. Just, Hood getting kidnapped by the league (oh no) and Bruce storming in. The league did notice he has his hair braided like a lot of gothamites with long hair, but of course they aren't privy to what the different shells and other items mean. Speaking of which, he certainly prides himself on the items from his family, but he's got a few smaller ones that the various crime alley kids have given him.
Bruce storms in, ignores as many protocols as he can (even if that means making his voice stronger to avoid questioning until later), and then he's just gone. Doesn't show up at the station for a week maybe after that and his team is trying to contact him. Nightwing and RR are also 'missing' for a week after they find out.
Okay that's cool, in that murky water sensing heat could be really important for avoiding collisions but also catching prey (or at least enemies) an it'd look cool.
Oh my gods yes to all of that paragraph. Tim is at least a year or two younger than he was when he originally joined, and now I'm imagining the Drakes show up to collect him for a while, and Bruce is just death grip asleep while the kids he was able to fit in his hold either try to struggle free or nap with him. Imagining Timmy got his photography from his mom, she almost definitely gets a pic.
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Yeah, everyone he's close enough to gets a pearl, especially the kids and Alfie, and it's Jason's most precious decoration for his hair when he comes back to life. Takes great pride in it and all that.
I'm just over here imagining that Selina is following the normal doc advice of swimming to relieve pregnancy pain when, oop, out comes a guppy, whoops (obviously not as smoothe but imagining her born in guppy form instead of baby).
Bruce is mildly stressed because there was little warning, Selina was literally only going to swim for a little while before coming back to the cave, now he's got to swim out to her when he hears her keen (imagining they can make sounds that are similar to normal marine animals but Off somehow, plus each one has a slightly unique tonal underlay or something). Thankfully, Hel is as healthy as one can be when their first 'breath' is nasty water, and they quickly take her to land. She may or may not struggle shifting to land form on her own, but her parents can help for now.
Yesss. If Bruce is 'predator who is a cinnamon roll' Talia is 'predator who will actually kill you'. And looking like the pits? That's awesome. In fact, what if Jason and Damien have vague pit vibes because of their dips?
I kind Ras when he's not painted at uber crazy. I mean he's still crazy but not asylum level. He's constantly bringing the grandkids gifts, doing the most unhinged activities with them, and he definitely set up a party for Bruce and Talia (no one is really sure if it was originally going to be a wedding and he decided not to force them or if he just did an over the top get together event because he can).
Yeah, only the best care for the kids (Bruce quietly ignores that Alfie got him one as well until he forced into bed rest).
Now I'm just imagining that Supes is in Gotham because of Lex or something else and he goes from hearing Bruce's heart out by the bay to just... not. Like, there's something almost similar there, but it's not Bruce's beat. Obviously he rushes to see what happened to his friend, and Bruce is now in 'oh fuck' mode because now he's gonna have to swim to the cave to get out of the water and hope Superman doesn't follow. (He doesn't but as soon as he hears Bruce's heart again he's rushing to check on him and may or may not find him mid shift).
Yesss. Let the kids play, and let Gotham just be horrible Lovecraft cryptid fae. They almost feel that way to regular outsiders, but it's Even Worse for atlanteans, especially when they're shifted. Adding mimicry and siren style voices just makes it even worse.
1, they still have gills as humans (on their sides) so if they swim untransformed in other water they're fine, 2, if they're still underwater they don't shift back even if they leave Gotham waters, they just might struggle a bit to swim but transform back upon surfacing, or 3, both of the above.
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Guppy Damien 🤩 (they're probably considered guppies until they're like 10 tbh). And yeah, Jason loves Damien even if he can't remember his interactions with him when he was still not quite there.
Also, Jason loves his dad but he's a drama nerd so he returns first, takes Joker's old name as minor revenge on the bastard, and then has a grand old time pranking his dad among other things. When Damien and Talia show up, that's when he reveals himself by going all brotherly. Also, he wears the hood partially because of the name and also to hide his hair initially because he's still got his burial items, ah he just shows up sans Red Hood outfit, hair on display, with a few new items from Talia and Damien, and everyone but those three freak out 😂
And yeah, Ra's LOVES Gotham, despite the environmental hazards (which are basically becoming an entirely new kind of unnaturally natural habitat) he pretty much makes it just favorite vacay spot (his family being there is a big bonus).
I think it'd be hilarious if the Talons were unaffected because the curse only effects the actual like living, any talons created after the fact can transform but those created before are land locked. The court as long as they're living is fine tho. Although maybe the first ones get gills at least? Be kinda funny if that's all they got.
Mermay Special Prompt 3
“Are you kidding? No one goes to Gotham, that place is like,” Aquaman made a motion with his hand, a not-quite grimace on his face. “Like things should not be living in the water, like it should be impossible, and things should be dead, but they aren’t and it’s like, like the equivalent of an undead apocalypse over there!” 
Bruce rolled his eyes behind his cowl, taking a sip of his coffee as the others continued drinking. Socialize, they said, it’ll be fine they said. Well excuse him, but the waters weren’t that bad. Sure there were always dumped bodies, and chemicals from the rogue attacks, but it was far worse at one point.
One thing he’ll always be relieved for is how the… curse (thank you broken statuette back in the beginning of his vigilante career that fused with the other many curses of Gotham) made the people of Gotham actually care about the waters around them. 
Though also, he couldn’t help but thank anything that might be listening for the fact that the curse only interacted with Gotham waters, because losing legs with any risk of a drop of water would be downright annoying. 
“No dude, you don’t understand, no one goes there for a reason! That shit is horrific- someone saw a big thing with bits of rebar stabbed straight through it and still chased after a big alligator-thing!” Oh. Oh that had been him. Oops. Hopefully his kids didn’t find out about this, but they were probably already on the cameras. Dammnit. 
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why-this-kolaveri-machi · 3 years ago
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i’m an idiot. i screw everything up.
Titans 3.03
still here, still doing this. these reviews take a fair bit of time that i cobble together across days (like, ten minute chunks during breaks, etc) and i tend to struggle to keep up with episodes as they come out. this means that by the time i’m done with one, most of my stuff is jossed (or geoffed in this case? idk) or outdated and the post sinks like a stone into oblivion. so! i’m going to change things up a bit with this one and write as i see the episode rather than collecting my thoughts later. in my experience with spn, that was a faster way to get them done. 
anyway. let’s see how it goes! *shadowboxes*
SPOILERS ahead.
1. an auspicious start with some grave-digging!
digging up a grave and breaking open a coffin is some serious, back-breaking work--that dick did it on his own, likely straight after that fight with red hood, is a testament to the sheer intensity, stamina and discipline that he’s capable of. like, we like to joke about dick cooking cauliflower crust pizzas and making gar and rachel spar and memorise sun tzu--and despair at the obvious consequences of some of bruce’s parenting skills--but imagine crime-fighting almost daily without any superpowers, performing some of the most intense parkour in bulky, uncomfortable armour, doing detective work, pushing through every last barrier of exhaustion and then getting up to repeat it all over again the next day. dick probably thought he was going extra-easy on rachel and gar.
1.5. then again, dick probably had a hundred different easier ways to confirm whether jason was still buried or not, from using equipment to merely asking connor to have a quick look with his x-ray vision. but, no, he’s too caught up in confusion and terror, not really having come to terms with jason’s death in the first place, leave alone the possibility that he could be alive after all. he can’t possibly let the others know until he’s confirmed it himself, even if it means digging all through the night until his arms are jelly, thinking over and over again about jason’s eyes, jason’s voice, from behind that red mask. 
... besides, dick has good reason to believe that he could’ve been hallucinating. wouldn’t be his first psychotic episode, after all.
that just imbues this sweaty, desperate, fingers-scrabbling-in-gravedirt scene with that much more poignancy, and a fair bit of bone-chilling terror. dick is horrified to realise that jason’s grave is empty, but a part of him is also probably relieved.
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1.75 (... also it’s curious that we’re never shown any of the team asking to see jason’s grave after they come to wayne manor. i guess it’s because the writers--and the audience--know that jason is actually alive, but these people don’t know that. i don’t know if it’s sad or infuriating or both that they’re barely shown mourning him.)
2. oh GOD the sheer TENSION in kory saying, “i don’t want to say it, but--” and dick quickly interrupting, “it was jason. i saw him,” and hank giving him this loaded sidelong glance. i love how dick’s precarious mental health from last season is still this big elephant in the room but at least nobody’s blowing up in his face and questioning his every decision yet
2.25. i love the relative matter-of-factness with which they’re discussing a possible resurrection. and, of course, ra’s al ghul is brought up and quickly dismissed
(still wouldn’t put it past this show to bring him up at the very last second as the real real mastermind)
2.5. “maybe they can bring donna back” OH KORY
2.75. didn’t they have this same conversation about killing/not killing rose last season? man, the og titans make me tired.
and i don’t know if it’s just hank, but there’s a definite in-group/out-group vibe going on with the og titans, where they’re not only ready to consider killing anybody who threatens the group but makes it difficult for new people to fit in. donna and kory got along well with each other, but the dynamics between hank/donna/dawn and gar/rachel/rose were somewhat strained, and with jason, they were really fucking terrible. it makes sense when you think about how the titans started and how they broke up the first time--both were fairly disruptive events, i’d imagine, in that they probably got together to break away from their mentors and strike out on their own, and when they split up, it was the first time they felt directly responsible for the loss of an innocent life.
but the titans that dick is leading now is explicitly about mentoring a young generation of heroes, about second chances and found family. dick definitely wants to reach out to him first, and i have a feeling he’s going to be forced to make some sort of terrible Choice later on in this episode. 
2.8. (honestly tho, this also seems like hank struggling with his own guilt re: jason; if red hood is not the kid that he failed, it’d be easier to fight him.)
3.
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HANK NO
4. honestly this season is already ticking off so many things on my wishlist, but i really wish dick would sit down with the newer members of his team and trust them with important information the same time that he’s telling them to the other members. gar searching for help and reassurance from a man who just dumped all of his responsibilities on his son overnight and went AWOL is a sad sight
4.25. has it only been just 48 hours????? wow! jason’s definitely been planning the red hood gig for a long time now...
5. ezekiel, my man! shady looking guy gets into your cab without a destination in mind... no problem, get right in! said guy gets a call to go to the observatory when he’s barely even looked out of the window so far at gotham... yep, a damn tourist! i want more ezekiel in this show.
5.25. (of course jason has upturned table lamps all along the floor... we have to *gritted teeth* balance the TEAL with the ORANGE don’t we?)
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5.5. “dick’s a fucking psycho--he could be following you right now.” hank... has no objection to that lol
5.25. hank, hank... this is bad-decision-palooza. i can’t imagine that hank actually thought that jason was reaching out to him for help, given that the last time hank and jason had any substantial interaction hank had been one of the people accusing jason of sabotaging the team. but for him to go seek out jason and go along with his demands without any backup, weapons or equipment? not the best idea he’s ever come up with.
(add to that getting into the swimming pool of a condemned gym... oh yuck.)
((yes, i have enough self-restraint to not cap his ass.))
(((cap his ass! HA!)))
5.5. do you think jason has bugs/monitoring equipment planted in wayne manor to monitor the titans, or remote access to the cave’s systems? wouldn’t put it past him.
6. oh man, hank came back before dick and the others could meet ezekiel! this is TRAGIC
6.25. i mean, it’s plot-convenient that connor was able to give so much information about the bomb from just looking at it once, but i also like to think it’s the luthor-side of him coming to the fore. it also reminds me of that (in)famous scene from the new52 run of Nightwing comics, where a bomb was attached to nightwing’s heart and luthor disabled it by killing nightwing (temporarily). it’s a neat little callback. 
6.55. “where i come from, you go after family? there’s no mercy.” BUT THAT’S THE PROBLEM ISN’T IT
6.75. i mean, dick’s making sense: this is a game, and they need to get it off playing out on jason’s terms. but having a member of his team in his face, doubting his reasoning and every decision? a very familiar sight. 
6.8. krypto with an a+ sense of humour? also a very familiar sight.
7. wayne enterprises... providing the military with... bombs that can be implanted in humans? a BIIIIG yikes. i guess it’s not too many steps above developing clandestine intra-dermal trackers and implanting them in your own sons, and bruce probably thought they could be used as part of negotiation tactics, but still... YIKES.
7.5. on the other hand, conner being asked to build a deactivation advice seems part of a growth arc that started from last season... he knows so much, but part of growing is learning, and part of learning is using what you know to create something new.
8. oh man, my heart broke at hank going “i’m an idiot... i screw everything up.” like. for him to go like this, after being brought down to such a low last season? struggling with pain and addiction and his relationship with the love of his life? it’s so sad.
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9. oh, oh, oh! ronnie from schitt’s creek! i love her!
9.5. “one of jason’s minions” took his body out of the morgue... how deliciously morbid that he planned out his own death like this!
10. TALK TO HANK, DICK
honestly, tho, i’m quite impressed with dick here. trying to think beyond just the most alarming part of the crisis at hand, keeping his cool, delegating tasks, frequently touching base with different members of his team... well done. 
10.25.... whoops, spoke too soon. i’m genuinely confused here, tho. where did the van full of gold bars come from? why did they stop there and get out? how did dawn even know about this?
on the other hand, it’s cool to know dove has bulletproof feathers!
10.5. eh... curran walters isn’t really selling red hood’s menace to me so far. but then again, if titans version of red hood is vulnerable-kid-with-father-issues-trying-to-overcompensate, then yeah! yeah, it makes sense. 
11. “when bats have sex, they gotta have something to hang from” OH GOD HANK
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... because i want smiley!gar on my blog :)
11.5. awww. i feel sorry for hank but NONE of these fuckers deserve gar except maybe kory
12. ohhh FUCK! look at jason being exactly one step ahead of the titans at every turn. nice.
no really, i love the building stakes and the building mystery - i feel like the deathstroke arc from last season should’ve been more like this. the flashbacks about jericho and rose came too late and after too much build up, which resulted in a very underwhelming and confusing season throughline.
13. HANK AND DIIIIIICCCKKK
“you’re doing your best by me. always have.” WAILING HERE
it also kills me to think that hank thinks that his imminent death is because of his failure to keep the team together (when he was clearly struggling with his own issues and was spiralling towards rock-bottom) and his fear that he will once again be the cause of the team falling apart. 
also:
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14. “i grew up... you can, too. you just have to face your fear.”
yep, got scarecrow’s grubby little fingerprints aaaaalllll over this. 
14.25. nightwing’s got specialised batarangs! yay! (somehow i can’t see this universe’s dick calling them “wingdings”)
15. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
oh man, that was devastating. well done, show. fuck, well done, jason.
this is going to bring up all sorts of “if onlys” for the team. i can’t wait for some fucking aftermath. 
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rainofaugustsith · 4 years ago
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SWTOR and Companion Death
So. Some thoughts about companion deaths in SWTOR in general.
I'm not a fan.
SPOILERS FOR KOTFE ONWARD.
I do know the name of the franchise is Star WARS, and people die in wars. It would probably be extremely unrealistic if we had a scenario where our characters spent literally 17 years of their lives (and counting...well, 12 if we don't count carbonite) fighting and nobody around them died.
However, in SWTOR I think that most of the deaths could been avoided. I don't think they benefit the story. I think that all they really do, in the end, is deprive the audience of a lot of interesting characters. 
I do think there are occasions when a player's character may wish to reject or kill a companion, but I also feel that there are ways to write so that it is an exception, and not commonplace.
And we have not even gotten to the NPC deaths. It has been a bloodbath for years with SWTOR and the writers show no signs of stopping it. Nathema - the body count from Nathema has taken almost twenty NPCs out of the main story. Onslaught? Yeah. Many more. It's become more unusual for an NPC to actually survive for the duration than to have a kill option.
I feel there are better ways to write than to take a Game of Thrones approach and kill everyone. When you eliminate everyone's beloved characters, and you leave the player with nothing more than a rotating cast of strangers, it's quite difficult to get into the story after a while.
Going through the companion deaths from KOTFE to Iokath:
Tanno Vik: The voiceover artist who played Tanno Vik died several years ago, and apparently the devs decided not to make the character recruitable in KOTFE because of that. I can understand this one. It seems that Tanno may die regardless of your choices, too. If you spare him during your meeting, he may not have survived the attack on Asylum, especially if the PC chose to use Valkorion's power.
HK-55: Yes, we get it, you wanted to show everyone that Arcann is a big old monster. The "thrown into carbonite," "slaughtering the Scions" “subjugating both the Republic and Empire” and "ruling as a harsh dictator" plot points didn't get it across quite enough. Dramatic. Yes. And they do bring HK-55 back
My objection to this death is not that they did it - because it actually does fit, even if it's a little extreme - is that they didn't make HK-55's return available to all in the actual main story of the game. I can understand making Shroud of Memory a bonus, because it's cute and funny but doesn't tie super directly into the main plot. But Arma Rasa? I think that should have been for everyone. Yes, I know you can buy it now - and I did - but I still think it should have been main story. If it were, we could have enjoyed HK-55's commentary in the rest of KOTFE and KOTET.
Kaliyo Djannis, Aric Jorgan: Fan service. But it makes no fucking sense. What exactly are you killing them for? They didn't listen, after they tried to compensate and salvage a mission that had gone south? They were left in the lurch because your PC was mission critical and went on a hallucinogenic hiking trip and didn't show up? There's literally nothing you can do to make the mission go right. It always fails, no matter who is in charge or what you tell them to do.
In Kaliyo's case, I really question why the devs thought that she, of all people, would be the character that most players would just love to spend an entire chapter with in one-on-one quality time in KOTFE. I think her kill option was a response to that - "yes, we forced you to play a chapter with this character but look, you can let her go now." Or perhaps it was a response to the frustration some players had with not being able to kill or reject her in the class story.
I think the class story could have sustained a branch where Kaliyo was asked to leave after the Wheezer incident. I think it's reasonable that a player's Agent may not have wanted to continue associating with her at that point. There were four other characters who could have taken her dialogue in the class story missions. But to do it years later? Eh.
In Aric's case, I have no idea what they were thinking. I've never had the feeling he's a character that is widely disliked. They needed to give an option to kill someone along with Kaliyo. I don't know. But it's weird and doesn't make sense IMHO.
Senya: So she's saved her boy. We get it. But considering that Senya also spent several chapters insisting that her children needed to be brought to justice, and was fully willing to engage Vaylin in combat if not kill her - the change of heart was confusing. I think Senya's fate was attached to Arcann's simply to give Arcann greater odds of survival. It seems that people like Senya even if they don't like Arcann. If the two had been separated, I really think less people would have saved Arcann.
Koth: Fan service. Nothing but fucking fan service. I'm sure it had nothing to do with Koth being a LGBTQ+ Black man who actually protested the player's actions and didn't let them off the hook. No, nothing to worry about here with that. That;s sarcasm in case I need to clarify. If things get to the point where Koth has left, your character literally works with him to save the ship and then can kill him while Lana stands there and watches and not a single person protests. After Koth has hijacked the ship and planted a bomb on it. The ship he adores. I can’t even. They could have done so much with this character and they just...did this instead. And then chose to completely ignore him even if he remained in the player's story. I still am salty, years later, that he didn't even get a cameo in the Nathema story. It's not as though the Gravestone's fate would have bothered him at all, amirite?
SCORPIO: One of the few kill options that actually might be justifiable, but the larger question is why she was trusted so much to begin with. And why the game feels it's light side to let her merge with a planet that keeps a necropolis of billions of organics it has slaughtered as research subjects.
Arcann: I feel Arcann should be handled and considered separately because he was not established first as a companion. He was framed and written as an adversary for all of KOTFE. But here we are forced to choose between "let Arcann live and become your new BFF who takes over Lana and Theron's place of trust with no punishment for his crimes" or "kill him on live television! I'm sure I'll be an Instagram Influencer now! Follow me at AllianceCommanderOdesssen uwu!"
Vette; Torian: Completely unnecessary. You have an Alliance that is so large that fighters are literally on the cliffs and in the trees helping you as you progress through the chapter. The Gravestone's taken to the skies. And yet nobody is available to swing by Torian or Vette's position to help them. You and Lana/Theron or Senya/Arcann are literally THE ONLY PEOPLE EVER who can do that. Oh, and the super-smart Hutt scientist in charge of your Research and Development team has given Vette an assault cannon for this huge battle against strong, skilled forces, despite the fact she's only operated an assault cannon...once? For a few minutes? *thumbs up, Oggurobb!*
I feel this was simply done to try to evoke emotion and to erase any sympathy the player may have had for Vaylin, since it immediately follows the Nathema sanitarium visit.
If they really felt the need to go with this, I feel they could have tied it to player actions earlier in the game. Did you do a lot of Alliance Alerts? Did you raise the Specialists' influence above 10? Did you do some of those veteran Star Fortresses and pick up a few extra companions? Then maybe you have enough extra personnel to save both. Quinn: More fan service, served up for those who would have liked to kill or reject Quinn all those years ago in the class story.
Just like Kaliyo - and Skadge, and Tanno Vik - I think the class story could have gone on without him if the Sith Warrior had been allowed to reject him after the Quinncident. I would have rejected him at that point. The writing in the class story could have sustained it. They could have given the healer role to one of the others. And then you'd get a branch where if Quinn was present, he'd show up on Iokath. If not, it would be someone else from the Sith class story, like one of the many Moffs the Warrior meets. Maybe the dude from Ilum, since he doesn't die. Or Hesker.
Theron: Now, here's the issue. The story sets up a scenario where asking Theron to leave because you no longer trust him is understandable. But I plead the case that it never should have gotten to that point. The entire betrayal story was completely unnecessary. Theron NEEDED to go undercover like that? He had a secret language he and Lana developed and just never used it to tip everyone off? He thought frying the Commander on Iokath or throwing her out the train window would be fun? After working so hard for peace, he literally sparked the next galactic war by tipping off everyone about Iokath and manipulating them all into going there so they could learn lots of fun new ways to kill each other?
Come. On. It doesn't make sense. Even in a spy game, I don't think Theron would have really thought that prodding the Empire and Republic to war with each other and the Alliance would have been worth it.
I feel like they could have done so many other things with the Order of Zildrog, and even had the same flashpoints, without making Theron appear to betray the Alliance. 
DS Jaesa: *sigh* So she saw the Commander on the Holonet, never thought of coming to Odessen and instead went to Iokath to slaughter Alliance troops. Oh, and threaten to kill Lana, who may be the player’s partner. Again, it sets up a scenario where it makes sense that a player might kill her, but why was that even necessary? The scenario itself doesn't make sense. If you have Master Ranos, she says that Jaesa was spotted hunting for artifacts, I think? Maybe just maybe they could have worked with that?
Xalek: You're killing Xalek for...um...terrorizing miners...and...yeah. Okay. Dude was in the class story for about five minutes so I don't think anyone knows what is going on here.
Broonmark: Yes, he's basically a cold-blooded killer. But he's going after this Wookiee senator because he's allying with the Republic? Or getting some Talz to be allies? The Talz already seem to be aligned Republic. He's a bit late to that party. Why is it that I don't think Broonmark would be into politics or watching the news and would not care about this?
Rusk: Um, yeah, Bey'wan, about that guy you wanted me to recruit, he's, um, dead. Because I decided to sell him out to a Black Sun gang leader. Don't be mad?
Skadge: One of the few kill options I think most could agree is...not that bad. Your mission with Rusk is to kill him. He was an adversary in the game. My headcanon for my bounty hunters is that he never gets on the ship after Belsavis. There’s no way they would have ever brought him along. Another case of correcting something from the class story?
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popculturebuffet · 4 years ago
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Pinky and the Brain: A Pinky And the Brain Christmas Review or I Just Think Schotzie’s Neat
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Christmas Continues on this blog... and getting away from one set of Christmas commissions and into another, I offered my friend Blahdiddy three commissions as a present. The other two we’ll get to eventually, but with Animaniacs on the brain, heh, due to the reboot, he selected two Pinky and the Brains and one Animaniacs for me to cover. And while I intended to cover this one sometime this month anyway, my friend’s recent and sad covid diagnosis meant i’m bumping this one all the way up to the front of the line so he has some christmas cheer during this rough time. So with that in mind let’s talk about pinky, pinky and the brain brain brain brain brain shall we? Of course we can’t really talk about pinky and the brain without talking about Animaniacs. I absolutely love the series, I grew up with it as a kid and reconnected with it as an adult when it ended up on netflix. It was smart, well animated and most importantly really fucking funny. I highly recommend checking both the original and reboot of it out some time if you have Hulu. Speaking of the reboot while I might go on in full about it at some point it’s pretty good, with some creatvie jokes, some nice updates, with Rita Anita Anrita being a great new addition to the warner side of things. It’s only real flaw is it gets a bit reptitious as for the most part there’s only really the warners and pinky and the brain with a few exceptions one of which DAMN well deserved at least two segments and we all know which one that is. 
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Bring.. this.. to series. The warners and pinky and the brain segments weren’t bad, but as is inevitible in a screwball comedy some just weren’t as good as others and those fell harder when you’ve already seen 2 or 3 better versions of this sort of skit in the season. They did really find their groove towards the end and if you like both Animaniacs and Pinky and the Brain, or even just one or the other, it’s worth checking out.  But enough about the reboot let’s talk about those labratory mice whose genes have been spliced. Thanks to wikipedia, I now know the duo were based on Eddie Fitzgerald and Tom Minton, who worked with Tom Rutgeter on Tiny Toon adventures, with menton being the one who came up with Narf, even saying it in one episode of Tiny Tunes. During the creation of animaniacs, Bruce Timm, yes THE Bruce Timm, sketched the two, and Ruetger added mouse ears and the rest was history. Maurice LaMarche was the one who added the Orson Welles to the character, as LaMarche saw the Orson Welles in Brain, ran with it and got the part and a long and storied career in voice acting as a result. In a nice and fitting bit of contrast, Rob Paulsen got the part.. because he was already on the show. Not to downplay Paulsen’s clear talent, I just find it hilarious. 
That’s about what I could dig up on the behind the scenes of the show. From what I can tell it was greenlit because Animaniacs was a massive it, and Pinky and the Brain was the most popular segment, so it just made sense. The show would likewise be a massive sucess with both adults and kids, and go on for three seasons and what should legally be considered a war crime. 
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For those of you blissfully unaware yeah, that happened, no no one people actually LIKED from Tiny Toons was in it. And yeah if you want me to talk about it commission it otherwise not going near this one. While I do need to tackle more bad animation... I’ve successfully avoided watching an episode of this show for 22 years next wedsday, I’m not breaking the streak for free. 
But some.. things aside I remembered liking the series as a kid but just never got around to seeking it out as an adult. I had nothing against the animaniacs segments and I even still have a stuffed brain doll I got at a garage sale.. the pinky is sadly missing and persumed dead. I just wasn’t as bit into it as I was the slappy bits rewatching animaniacs and didin’t really see reason to watch the show. Watching this though made me realize I was wrong and I probably watch more of it in the future This special is damn good, i’m pleased ot review it and to revive and old childhood memory. So with all the exposition out of the way let’s talk Pinky, PInky and the brain brain brain brain christmas edition after the cut. 
This was indeed a special: while it was presumably produced with season one of the show and is packaged with it both on DVD and on Hulu, where I watched it, the special was aired in prime time and even put on it’s own VHS.. which I found out and of course, like with my review of the Darkwing Duck Pilot, had to use as the art for old VHS’ tapes for cartoons.. was really fucking beautiful and it’s a nice break from my traditional screencaps.   So we open with a clever Christmas rendition of the theme, frequently sprinkling in bits of other christmas stuff, utterly fantastic. The intro animation is less impressive as it’s literally just the regular intro but with a stock snow effect over everything. In case you thought Ducktales doing that was a new thing. I do not blame the team however, as apparently they only had a week to get the scripts out, so I highly doubt warner was forking out more cash for the animation than they had to. They still forked out enough to make it LOOK really good mind you, something I wish they’d do more often with their DTV Movies but do do with their animated shows still with certain exceptions so good on them, i’m just saying they clearly cared more about money than having a memorable christmas opening. Given a budget to actually make one, i’m sure the animators would’ve come up with something lovely, and i’m sure the same is true of Ducktales and other shows and like i’ve said, i’m highly in favor of shows actuallly doing unique openings for the holidays, especially since Holiday episodes tend to get reaired every year as long as the show is in circulation on the network. Sometimes even if it isn’t. So it’s fully worth the effort to fork out a little extra for this as while you’ll most likely only use it once, you’ll be using the special for years. You can afford to treat yourself networks come on. It’s...
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Just like Pinky, Elmyra and the Brain. But onto the episode itself after 80 years. We find Pinky writing his Christmas list to santa, complete with Narf, a gag I like. As usual for a comedy show, I will try to gloss over as much of the gags as possible, to avoid repetttion but yeah this episode is really damn funny and reminded me just how good these characters are. Maurice and Rob just have perfect chemistry. It’s like Tom and Jerry: It’s a very simple premise, that one being “Cat chases mouse and Mouse beats shit out of mouse”, and pinky and the brain of course being “Super genuis mouse and dimwitted but loveable sidekick try and takeover the world eveyr night”. But a simple premise can be used just about anywhere and adapated for anything. To me a cartoon’s premise only has to be as complicated as it needs to be to work. Sometimes you have a vast complex tapestry behind the world like She Ra, Steven Universe or Avatar with lots of planning and ins and outs and deep character stuff.. and sometimes you just have two mice who get into shenanigans because one is a would be dictator who sounds like orson welles and the other’s a loveable british weirdo/moron. Sometimes simple just works. 
Anyways, Brain, noticing Pinky’s distracted and replaces himself with a horrifying poorly made doll of himself called Noodle Noggin, which is both an excellent name and not the only time they’d use the name either, as there was an animaniacs short about Brain making himself a fad to endear himself to the children of the future with the same name. It’s just an inherently funny set of words, but also shows Brain’s genius in a subtle and clever way as he never spells it out, but despite sounding kind of ridiculous for such a buttoned up intellectual like brain... he knows that’s the kind of name kids will eat up. His schemes may often fail, but he’s an objectively brilliant schemer and i’ts often either PInky’s incompetence or his own miscalculation of humanity, either over or underestimating them, that undoes Brain.  Back to the plot, so Brain’s plan is to distribute noodle noggins around the world, make it the hot new toy, and as always, take over the world. Problem is naturally two Mice simply don’t have the resources to make the billions of dolls. But PInky stumbles upon the solution in the paper: a want ad for elves! Everything about that sentence except “pinky stumbles upon the solution” has not aged paticuarlly well, but point is they have a plan and we have our christmas special.  This does bring me to my one problem with the special.. Brain’s weird inconsistency towards Santa. What I mean is he spends the portion doubting Santa can do anything he’s claimed to despite being proven frequently he can. That part is not all that annoying as it’s in character with him and while yes, he is a talking mouse, he’s also a man of science and reason and Santa is the opposite of that. That would be fine... IF it wasn’t for the fact that said magical bollocks weren’t constantly part of his plans. Despite Brain constantly throughought the special doubting Santa... his plans FREQUENTLY rely on everything we’ve heard about him being right. His initial plan here ENTIRELY runs on the fact Santa has a massive workforce to make the toys yet even if that’s true by Brain’s own logic, he wouldn’t be able to deliver them. Later when the boys need to escape, They hide with the Reindeer despite Brain just saying santa can’t be everywhere in one night.. which if he can’t then the odds are slim he’ll wind up at Acme Labs isn’t it? It would be fine if the special acknowledged any of this outside of one bit we’ll get to, but other than that one bit.. they don’t. IT’s just really frustrating and really sticks out since the rest of the special is perfection, so this one failing bit really grates. That being said, it dosen’t last long enough to really drag the episode down as a whole, just to annoy me a bit every so often. It speaks to the episodes quality that the bad part ONLY drags so much because everything else is so well put together.  So our boys head to the north pole with the help of a kooky pilot and a santa dummy, this pilot is voiced by Tress MacNeile and is easily one of the best parts of the special. And naturally given their luck, she asks them to take the wheel so the plane instead jerks and causes them to fall out. Luckily they end up near Santa’s workshop and soon apply for temp work with local head of things and gruff type Shotzie, played by Jeff Bennett. And yes that is his name.  I like Shotzie: he’s a goateed elf and Bennett just plays him well.. hard to explain honestly I may just like his name and Bennett’s voice for him, one he used before in animanaics for various bit parts and in shows after this, it’s just a voice i’ve always liked. 
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They get put to work in the mail room, which is the bit I mentioned: Brain earlier scoffed at Santa answering all the letters with Pinky simply suggesting that Santa had his elves go through all of them. Turns out Pinky was right... while he may be a BIT stupid, one intresting thing i’ve found about Pinky after watching the reboot that ironically the friend who comissioned this and I discussed is that he’s not ENTIRELY stupid, it’s just , much like Dan from Dan Vs his knowledge is just random.. he can not know how a lot of things work, but sometimes like in this instance Pinky generally just GETS something. It’s part of why he and Brain are such a good team despite their failures: Brain is all about planning and thought and research, Pinky is about intuition and gut instinct. He just does things and it often works out. This also makes their recently added backstories all the more brilliant as they explain this well: Pinky started life just being told to find the diffrence in cheeses and thus was taught form childhood to trust in himself and his weird brain. Brain was cruelly torturued with an experiment on learned behaviors via electroshock, and was taught to never give up control again, to always know what’s going on and to always control it. It perfectly sums up who the two are and why they are that way.  Brain however quickly pivots, as the mail room ends up being the perfect location to start his plans. Since their job is to file away what each person wants Brain simply adds Noodle Noggin to it and plans to put his plans into the workshop. While Santa and Schotzie are suprised and baffled, Santa quickly adds it to the list. However things hit a snag when Schotzie gets supscious when the two try to sneak into the blueprint room to drop theirs off and he accidently yanks off their disguises leading to a REALLY fun chase scene, as the boys end up in a toy wherehouse and thus try out various toy cars: a barbie dream car that dosen’t have a working motor, a toy truck that dosen’t go very fast, and finally an rc car that while fast naturally just means Schotzie can grab it and capture them. It’s easily my faviorite scene of the episode just for how clever it is and as someone whow as a kid around the time this came out, I applaud the accuracy.. granted I didn’t have any of those personally but I had lots of friends so yeah. 
So our heroes are interrogated.. and again Brain brilliantly pivots. Schotzie assumes since they have the blueprints their spies for the easter bunny or the tooth fairy or Herschel, the Hanukah Goblin. Why Herschel never got his own Hannukah special trying to stop Pinky and the Brain from using it to take over the world, I genuinely do not know and that’s something the reboot really needs to adress in the future. Seriously Hannukah needs a mascot and it’s either Herschel or the Hannukah Zombie. Kwanza already has Kwanzabot. I want to see more of Herschel the Hannukah Goblin dammit!. I love goblins. Especially this one.
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And this one
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And most of all this one
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I likes goblins. It’s a thing. So anyway, point is Schotize has the blueprints taken in while our boys slip out and sucessfully make their way outside, though they have to find a way home to turn on the mind control device. They see Santa and brain being a dick refuses to let pinky hand in his letter.. but does as mentioned earlier have them pose as reindeer.  So our heroes make their way home and in time to be able to activate the device once santa’s route’s finished!
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And.. then land directly on the mind control device thing, meaning they now have to scramble to repair it. Oh and Pinky is inconsolable after realizing Santa didn’t get his letter and Brain is a HUGE dick about it. Easily the worst i’ve seen him just far more focused on his machine than his friend’s wel lbeing especially since ALL he needs from pinky is for him to throw one lousy switch. 
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But we then get easily the best part of the entire special. As Brain scrambles to rebuild his device while abusing his best friend we get a really nice tense sequence as Brain rebuilds while kids all over the world warmly receive noodle noggin. I mean.. it’s not the creepiest doll I’ve seen a kid enjoy. 
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Also Bill Clinton gets one because the series apparently really likes “Bill Clinton is stupid jokes” Oh you poor innocent dears who haven’t had to suffer through the president being revealed to be a sexual predator, the one after him being even dumber if not a predator, the one after that being easily one of the best people around, and the outgoing one being a waking nightmare whose both a preadator and dumb beyond all comprehension ina dangerous and soul crushing way. 
But yeah onto the good part, Brain, for whatever reason, reads the letter.. and finds Pinky asked for nothing. He just wanted to give Brain the world at long last, recognizing his friend really and genuinely means well for it and that he’s worked hard to conquer it. And with that goal in reach, with the very thing he’s always wanted his... Brain instead uses the device to wish a merry christmas. He sees through his friend’s kindess and selflessness that he himself.. has been selfish once again turning something into a world destroying plot and being cruel to his best friend... when all his best friend wanted was to selflessly make sure he finally got what he wanted. It’s then that Brain, for all his cold and cynical logic and superiority complex, realized the true meaning of christmas, which i’ve said before and i’ll say again: it’s about giving, about giving someone something with your heart and soul just to be nice with no expectation of something in return. It’s about being selfless for once instead of selfish. I’ts about love. And Brain loves his friend too much to destroy his faviorite holiday. For once the world can wait.. and for once they all join in saying merry christmas to one another and in love and camradire. And I know not everyone celebrates christmas, there are other winter holidays and not everyone in the world would willingly do this. I know all that.. but the special has such a well meaning message, I really can’t be mad at that or get into the weeds too much> This isn’t some jackass making an entire movie, of which there have been several, saying “There’s a war on christmas” which instead equates to them just bitching about not everyone celebrating HIS holiday. It’s about a mouse for one moment truly being selfless and putting ihs loyal and faithful friend over his greatest want to give him a nice christmas and to do something nice for the world instead of trying to take it. And that.. that’s really damn heartmelting.  So we end on the two exchanging presents, with it being a little extra heartwarming as Brain likely already got Pinky something meaning even before his big revelation, he really does care beneath all the dope slaps. Pinky got him a keychain of the world and rather than be frustrated like you’d think.. Brain just takes it in stride. It is christmas after all.. the world.. it can wait. For now it’s just the two of them having one moment in time, this merry christmas.  Final Thoughts: If it wasn’t obvious, I loved this freaking special. It’s funny, clever and has one hell of an ending. There isn’t much more to say other than go watch it if you have Hulu.. you will not regret it and a sepcial thanks to Blah for comissioning this. it was an amazing time and is now a competitor for a spot on my best christmas special list. For now though it’s just really good and I say go check it out. Merry christmas, happy holidays and later days. 
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jadekitty777 · 5 years ago
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Dreams to Dance
People said I couldn’t make an AU out of this prompt... you better believe I made an AU out of this prompt.
Oh but am I EVER excited to get here. This one is my top favorite of my seven entries. I really hope y’all like it too!!
Day 6: Atlas Ball
Rating: K+
Pairing: Qrow/Clover
Word Count: 3.5k
Ao3 Link: Dreams to Dance
Summary: Season 7 of Step to the Beat is in full swing and dancing contestants Qrow Branwen and Clover Ebi have successfully made it to the fifth round. But with Ironwood judging their every move and a theme choice that was particularly unfavorable to them, the couple knew their elimination might be on the horizon. If they were going to stay in this competition, they needed something big, something that would blow everyone else away. 
And Qrow just happened to have an idea.
(AKA: The Dancing AU no one asked for)
~
Qrow swore if his grip got any tighter, his phone was going to shatter.
“Is there anything you’d like to say to those commenting how last night’s choice of theme was particularly unfavorable for the only same-sex dancing pair?” The interviewer, Glynda, asked.
He liked her. She was all business and no nonsense when it came to her questions. She wasn’t shy to ask the difficult ones but never wasted her breath on anything that didn’t at least provoke some thought. And he was pretty sure she was rooting for his team.
It was the man she was directing the question to that he didn’t like.
“I believe those claims are unfounded.” James Ironwood replied, fixing his stupid cufflinks. “While yes, the theme of an ‘Atlas Ball’ brings upon these fairytale notions of a princess being swept up by her prince similar to Cinderella or Beauty and the Beast, it’s merely that. A notion. The theme is merely meant to be a springboard our pairs can use to express their creativity and my scores are issued on the merit of how well they executed that expression. Their gender does not matter.”
“Tch, fuck off.” Qrow grumbled.
Ever since the first episode of Step to the Beat, Ironwood had quickly been singled out as the biggest hard-ass of all the other judges. He seemed to find flaw in everything, docking points for even the smallest half-step out of line or every smile missed, only getting tougher as the seasons went on. He’d been gunning for his and Clover’s elimination since their very first audition where he claimed their foxtrot had been ‘slow’ and ‘uninspired’.
Clover kept telling him he was imagining things but after last night, when they survived yet another round only to have Ironwood announce the theme that was so geared towards the rest of their competition, even his normally optimistic fiancé didn’t have any reassurances to give.
They knew this was probably their end game.
“They say too much bad TV rots the brain you know.”
He looked up from the screen. Clover crossed over the practice mats, hopping up onto the edge of the stage next to him. Qrow huffed in annoyance as his phone was taken away and a water bottle placed in it instead, but ultimately didn’t protest as the video was paused and set, face down, behind them.
He uncapped the bottle, taking a hearty drink, before saying, “Doesn’t it piss you off though?”
“Sure. All the more reason to show everyone we’re more than just the token gay couple.” He replied with the same level of confidence Qrow had always trusted to lead him, whether it be out on the dancefloor or in the ups and downs of life. “So, let’s get started.”
Clover pulled out his little pocketbook, flipping a few pages in where he had written down the eight dance styles allowed for this round.
Since starting in the competition, Qrow and Clover kept themselves on a strict schedule for each new week. The first day was dedicated to choosing their style and song. The next two, they worked on choreography and practice. The day after those was deciding costume, lights and makeup – a portion Qrow, personally, excelled at since he had the eye for color coordination and fashion. Their last two days were spent putting it all together until they had it down to memory. It was exhausting work, and some days they didn’t leave the practice room until after midnight, only to come back a few hours later. But, it was also why he appreciated his fiancé’s knack for organization, because otherwise Qrow was sure they’d be nothing more than a confused wreck like the many other couples who possibly used this very same room.
Before being selected, Qrow hadn’t been all too worried about any of the horror stories they’d witnessed over the years. But, after week after grueling week having the pressure constantly on their shoulders or finishing one round, succeeding at it, only to be thrown into the next with no rest or break, even he and Clover had had their moments. It quickly became apparent to him how things grew so out of hand for the other pair-ups. But a snap of annoyance here or a need for an hour of alone time there was nothing compared to the former contestants who changed their performances halfway through the week or even the very night before going on, only to predictably fumble on stage. Arguments that broke out over trivial details like not having the right trinkets or lipstick. People trying out experimental moves to stand out that more often than not resulted in injury.
Then there was that one event during season three, when the stress of the competition became too much and resulted in a wife and husband filing for divorce.
The very idea a competition could ruin his relationship with Clover seemed ridiculous – if anything, despite the trials and tribulations, he’d never felt closer to his future husband.
He leaned on his arm, scanning over the list. As they weren’t allowed to perform with a dance they’d done before, audition included, a few were already crossed out. Like their uninspired foxtrot. Or the paso doble which had given them a second-place score during the third week. It had been an excellent choice, highlighting their skills like Clover’s strength and Qrow’s flexibility. There was only one dance they did better.
It was on Clover’s mind too. “You think it’s time to break out our rumba?”
It was tempting. They’d been keeping it in their back pocket, as a little ace up their sleeve; but secretly, they’d both hoped they’d get to show it off in the finals. Now not even knowing if they’d make it that far, it was hard not to pull it now. The complex, often speedy movements, the power, and the agile form the rumba called for were all things the two of them exemplified best at. For Qrow especially it framed him well, as it was a very hip-oriented dance and he knew how to use his.
It would almost definitely earn them a high spot for the round, making up for their lacking score last night. But, then what? They’d still have four weeks to survive through, and with their best dance behind them, he couldn’t see them getting that far, as everything else would pale in comparison.
Qrow rolled his head up, meeting the other’s gaze. “Do you think we can make it to the next round?”
Clover hummed, rolling it around in his head. “If we’re careful about it, there’s a chance. But this list is pretty limiting for us. We could do a tango. Maybe with an Addams Family angle?”
“Too predictable.” He waved off, scanning over their options once more. If only they were allowed to switch lead and follow, the jive would have been perfect. So, he skipped over it, only to linger on the very last one.
It was risky.
Probably stupid.
But as an idea formed in his head, he found himself pointing to it and saying, “How about we do this one?”
Clover’s eyebrows furrowed. “The waltz? Are you sure? All of our performances have been high-tempo. They’re not going to be expecting a slow dance from us.”
“Exactly. There’s more than one way to surprise our audience you know. Besides,” Qrow added as he hopped down to the floor. “You’re really going to like what I have planned.”
~
The minutes before their performance were the most nerve-wrecking Qrow had ever had to endure. Stuck backstage as the floor for the act before theirs was cleaned up and their own was readied, a short reel played for the audience – sneak peeks the camera crew had caught of Clover and Qrow’s work as they planned out their moves or answers to the various interviewers who stopped by to inquire about whatever drama was popular that week. Watching himself sink down a bit whenever the camera was on him and hearing his own gravely voice come out over the speakers did nothing to ease his jitters. In fact, it usually left him wanting to be swallowed up by the floor.
“Thirty seconds you two, and then it’s showtime!” One of the crew members called.
A hand slipped into his, squeezing gently.
“We got this.” Clover assured.
He inhaled shakily and let it out slow. Squeezed back. “Yeah, we do.”
Another member made a hand motion and they took it as their cue to walk into the darkness of the stage and get into position as their announcement boomed across the auditorium. “Introducing Clover Ebi and Qrow Branwen, dancing a traditional waltz!”
As the first trills of the violin started up, the lights came on, revealing them facing one another. Clover was down on one knee, holding Qrow’s hand in his.
The production allowed for any sort of props to be used to tell their stories or just liven up the set as a complement to the main attraction. Over the years, he’d seen all sorts of things be brought in – cars, cages, couches. For this dance, they’d only asked for one thing. Set behind Qrow was a small, plastic toy castle that he could imagine his nieces would have played with when they were younger. They needed nothing more, for the real prop was Qrow himself, dressed in an eye-catching scarlet red ball gown befitting of a real princess.
He could already hear the exclamations of the audience around him.
Clover lent forward and, like the true prince charming he was dressed as, brushed his lips to the back of Qrow’s hand before rising. His movements were grand as he swept Qrow down the ramp to the main stage, the two of them turning together so they didn’t waste a single footstep. All the while the soft, dulcet tones of Cathy Cavadini accompanied them as they moved.
“Dreams to dream,
In the dark of the night.
When the world goes wrong,
I can still make it right.”
As they came off the ramp, they started off slow, moving into a whisk that presented them fully to their audience, before Clover brought him back in, whirling him along to the edges of the stage. As they reached the far corner on the right, Qrow was pulled out into a turn. He felt the skirt of the dress rise with him and it felt wonderful to hear a few happy shouts from the onlookers just like they gave the women in similar clothing.
“I can see so far in my dreams,
I’ll follow my dreams,
Until they come true.”
They turned their way to the other corner of the stage, preforming another outward turn that resulted in another set of calls before heading back to the center as the last trills of the first stanza grew to an end, preparing for the first big move. They’d practiced it over and over, knowing it was a difficult maneuver that had to go right on stage no matter what.
Clover guided him into a parallel walk. It was similar to the whisk, all about showing themselves off, except instead of both of them facing the same way, they were back to front, moving in a circular two-step around each other. What no one saw, but Qrow felt, was the slide of Clover’s hand between a hidden slit in the dress, undoing the little metal hooks keeping it closed.
As the music hit a short, bright rise and Cavadini’s voice did likewise on the first verse, Clover brought him back in, his right-hand grabbing onto a fistful of the satin fabric. With the guide of his partner’s left hand, Qrow moved seamlessly into the two inside turns.
“Come with me,
You will see what I mean.
There’s a world, inside,
No one else ever sees.”
He knew he got it just right as the roar of the audience climbed around them while the dress fell away, revealing Qrow’s outfit underneath. It was another prince’s outfit, with greys and blacks and deep greens, that complemented the other’s sharp whites, golds and reds.  He made a show of pulling from Clover’s hold, feigning embarrassment and shame.
Not for long though as Clover tossed the dress towards backstage and made a show of asking for his hand again.
Upon taking it, they renewed the dance, more vigor in their steps than before.
As if learning who Qrow truly was only made their love stronger.
“You will go so far
In my dreams, somewhere in my dreams
Your dreams will come true.
There is a star, waiting to guide us,
Shining inside us, when we close our eyes.”
Rather than down the edges like before, they stayed in the center, moving gracefully around one another in a square pattern, grinning at each other like lovestruck teenagers. At the last corner turn, they came close again for more sweeps and turns. With his legs now freer, he used them to his advantage, kicking them up or popping them behind him for a little extra pizazz on certain moves.
They knew they were approaching the big crescendo as the tempo started to pick up and the singer started to hold notes longer.
As it reached the peak, Clover turned him around so they faced away from one another. He gripped him strong and secure just underneath his armpits as Qrow held out his arms and fell back, almost down to the other’s waistline. With admirable strength, his fiancé kept him lifted up while they made two sweeping turns, Qrow’s legs never touching the ground as he held his legs in a leaping position similar to a ballerina’s grand jeté.
The resounding cheers were deafening.
“Don’t let go,
If you stay close to me!
In my dreams tonight,
You will see what I see.”
Ironically, at the apex of the last turn, Clover had to let him go. Qrow slid along the waxed floor, using his own momentum to swing around so he was facing the other when he stopping moving. Just as before, their separation was brief, Clover coming to lift him.
“Dreams to dream,
As near as can be,
Inside, you and me,
They always come true.”
They took another, tighter, swing around the stage, ultimately coming back to the center. The song winded down on the final verse and in turn, they kept their movements closer, more intimate. When the last words played, Clover dipped him and brought him back up slowly.
As the instruments also began to soften, Clover ended it as they began, taking a step back and falling to one knee. The only difference this time around was he now held Qrow’s hand in both of his, a perfect mimic of the day he’d proposed to him seven months ago.
The crowd went wild around them and the spotlight that had been following them was traded in for full lighting. Clover stood, gathering him up in an ecstatic hug that had Qrow laughing along with him. It had been a perfect performance.
“And that was Qrow and Clover with the last dance!” The host, Roman Torchwick, called as he joined them on stage. “Truly a marvelous way to end the night gentlemen. But, let’s see what the judges have to say about it, shall we?”
“Well, it was quite a display.” Ozpin was the first to speak as he leaned towards his mic. His grin gave away his feelings even before he spoke. “The story you two managed to tell with just a few short actions was masterfully done. You’re the one who crafted it, Qrow?”
Roman held the mic his way so he could answer. “Yeah. Fairytales are so often about overcoming life’s trials and finding true love at the end. I think a lot of us admire that ideal – and that’s what I wanted to capture with tonight’s dance.”
“Well, I’d say you did excellently. Not only was it heartwarming it also provides a poignant message to those watching that the right partner can lift you up.” Oz praised. “It absolutely is your best performance for storytelling thus far, and I’m happy to appoint it a 9.”
Qrow felt the squeeze where Clover’s arm rested on his shoulders and had to fight his blush as he heard his whispered ‘I’m so proud of you!’ that was thankfully not picked up by the mic.
“Oo-hoo! A top score.” Their host flattered. “Let’s see if you can keep it up. So, Port, your thoughts on their song choice and costuming?”
The aging man turned one end of his whitening mustache as he replied, “Dreams to Dream was a very nice choice indeed and truly sells the slow romance of the waltz.  I can see from here those suits of yours are near perfect matches. The dress is where I see flaws. It holds a great level of ingenuity, but it was hard not to laugh outright when the lights first came on, which didn’t match the tone. I also hope you two know those turns at the end of the stage gave away you weren’t exactly wearing glass slippers under that frock, among other things, did you?”
“Hehe, we were admittedly a little zealous with the dress.” Clover admitted. “We knew we should have gone with something less flowy, but it’s hard to deny how aesthetically pleasing it is to see a woman’s dress twirl with her. We wanted to have that too, even if it revealed a bit too much.”
“Zeal can be a great attribute when handled in the right way, but in this case I’d say part of it fell flat – as is, I’m giving you boys a 7.”
Still a good score. Qrow started to breathe a little easier. As long as James wasn’t a total ass and gave them more than a 3, they were moving on to next week
James straightened up, clearing his throat. “It’s really a shame-”
Oh, here we go.
“-That this is the first time you two have given us such a marvelous show all across the board.”
…Eh?
His eyes widened, certain he’d misheard.
But James cold-as-steel Ironwood was smiling. “Your footwork was impeccable and your rhythm to the music was like watching artwork in motion. This performance tonight shows just what you two are really capable of and that you’re truly a force to be reckoned with in this competition.”
Qrow couldn’t get his vocal cords to work. Luckily Clover found it for both of them, “Thank you, sir.”
“I hope you both keep it up. For now, take home another 9 with pride.”
He shared a look with the man beside him, both going from slack-jawed to grinning in seconds. A nine! A nine!!! For the second time, Qrow was tugged into his partner’s solid embrace, this time being twirled around on stage while Roman declared them as tonight’s winning team and the audience hollered and applauded.
Even after they were ushered off stage so the pair that had come in last could give a final goodbye and the announcement of the next round’s stipulations could be broadcast, neither of them couldn’t stop smiling, still buzzing with so much post-performance adrenalin and joy. The smiles stayed on their faces the entire time Glynda asked her questions. Throughout every call from family and friends giving congratulations. The whole drive back to the hotel.
After a warm shower and a hearty dinner, Qrow eventually found himself pillowed against the headboard and tucked against Clover’s side, sleepily watching reruns of the performances. Usually, they ran commentary over them, picking out the flaws and successes of each dance, particularly their own, to try and improve for the next round.
But as he drank in the applause once more as theirs came to an end, he found he didn’t have much to say. The TV was turned off, washing them in silence. He laid his head onto Clover’s chest, feeling fingers thread through his hair.
“You were magnificent out there.” Clover said.
He craned his neck some, enough so his fiancé could see his tiny smirk. “Weren’t half bad yourself, charmer. I’d say you swept me right off my feet.”
He chuckled heartily. “How could I not?” He dropped a kiss on his lips. “You are my fairytale.”
“And you’re mine.” Qrow vowed, cupping Clover’s chin and met him for another kiss.
More than the winning scores or a fancy trophy potentially on the horizon, he’d attest that it was only in moments like these that he attained true victory.
---
A/N: Got a lot of dedications to list for this one:
-The song is as Port says “Dreams to Dream” – specifically Tanya’s version from Fievel Goes West. Cathy Cavadini is her voice actor. I recommend giving it a listen to get an idea of the pacing and where their moves happen.
I took the inspiration for Qrow and Clover’s dance from various Dancing with the Stars performances and recommend watching them as well. I’ll list them out here:
-From both Heather Morris & Maks Chmerkovskiy and James Hinchcliffe & Jenna Johnson’s performances I took the inspiration of circling the stage and some of the up kicks Qrow mentions he does after the dress comes off. You can also see a lot of the ‘whisk’ moves they do in the center of the stage (presenting themselves to the audience). The dip and slow return that James and Jenna do at the end is similar to the one Qrow and Clover do. 
-Von Miller & Witney Carson – from this one, the way Von takes Witney’s hand in the beginning is how I envision Clover asking for it the second time during the dance. The square pattern they do midway through is also the one Qrow and Clover do.
-Marla Maples & Tony Dovolani – This is the big one. This is the lift Qrow and Clover do at the end. It’s really cool looking, so I recommend giving it a watch.
-However, Qrow having his clothes removed mid-performance was inspired by Elizaveta Tuktamysheva’s 2018 ice skating performance.
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where-theres-smoak-2 · 5 years ago
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Riverdale 4x19 Finale Review/Analysis
First off I’d like to apologise for how late this review is I had written all but the last part but then was dealing with some family stuff so its a bit later than usual. But anyway here it is my review/analysis for the season 4 finale. Despite them having to reschedule everything so that this was the season finale when it clearly wasn’t suppose to be I still actually really enjoyed this episode. However that said there were some things that, well I guess you could say they didn’t quite sit right with me but overall I think this was one of the better episodes of the seasons. I don’t have as much to say about this episode as I do feel like it was a bit of a filler episode but I figured we could still go through the episode and talk about the things I liked, the things I didn’t but also what clues might have been left for us. I’m also going to give some theories and predictions for season 5 based on some of the interviews I’ve read since watching the episode. As always these are just my own opinions its fine if you disagree and of course there are spoilers.
  No Seriously Though Who Is The Voyeur?
So to kick things off I figured we could talk first about the video tapes and again who I think the voyeur is. Well I’m sticking to my theory that it’s Donna accompanied by a group of lackies. Yeah I know I’ll die on this hill. The episode starts out similar to the one before with Charles, Betty and Jughead watching the re-enactment of Jason Blossoms murder. Just as a quick tangent here but can we have a shout out for the casting team because seeing all three of them side by side really brought out the resemblance between them, like Charles looks so much like both Betty and Jughead like I can fully believe that Charles is brother to them both. Any way back on track, during this scene all three of them ask some very good questions. Charles asks why the escalation now and could it be a warning. Betty suggests that maybe its a pratice run for an actual murder. (This is actually something I suggested myself when the first re enactment was shown and I said that Donna and the stonies might have filmed it as a practice run for Jughead’s actual murder.) Jughead also makes a suggestion saying it seemed like the voyeur was trying to blur the lines between fact and fiction. This I think might be a clue to who the voyeur might be. I also think its more evidence to support my theory. Fiction makes me think of writing and story telling, when we first meet Donna its at Stonewall Prep where she is part of a writing seminar. In my opinon from the way these videos are set up it seems to me that the person sending out the videos isn’t just a voyeur but a storyteller too and Donna fits this bill. We know that she is a writer so thats a check for the storyteller, and by her own admission she watched the tapes Bret was making of the other students at Stonewall so thats the check for a voyeur. Also all of the re-enactments can be linked back to Jughead in some way. Obviously the first one shows Jughead’s would be murder with Betty killing Jughead with a rock, the Jason Blossom one I talked about in my last review and how Jughead had based his first Baxter Brothers draft on his murder, Midge’s death can also be linked to Jughead as he filmed the whole Carrie BTS thing and so was actually the one who (accidently) recorded Midge’s original murder which the voyeur then watched and used for the re-enactment. The latest one depicting Mr Honey’s murder can obviously be linked back to Jughead as its his story. In an interview RAS said that the voyeur had very personal reasons for what they were doing and well we know that Donna is holding a grudge against Jughead. The other thing that is interesting is that there are several references to Stonewall, the Stonies and that plotline throughout the episode. The first is when Jughead says getting into Iowa could be a way to make up for the Stonewall hell, then during his story they all wear Stonewall jackets and the infamous bunny masks, there is another reference when during the story the two boys in the locker room are talking about rumours that Mr Honey had an affair with a student, I mean a false accusation of an affair with a student made against a dead teacher, hmm that sounds familiar. Of course I do think this is a reference to Donna and the story she made up about her and Mr Chippens in an attempt to cover up his murder. Also the story line of a group of teenagers commiting a murder and then murdering one of their friends when they get cold feet is the same as the Stonewall plotline where the others murdered Jonathon because they were afraid he was going to tell. The last reference comes from Mr Honey when he says hes going to be the new principal at Stonewall. I don’t think its a coincidence that just as things a heating up in the storyline with the tapes they are now starting to drop more references to Stonewall and by extention Donna, I think these might be clues left by the writers. Of course I could also be barking up the wrong tree. 
So who else are my main suspects for who the voyeur could be? Well RAS said this in an interview about the voyeur.
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So we know from this that the voyeur’s primary motive is a personal vendetta but we also know that on some level they are also interested in how trauma has changed the town and the kids in it. So now we just need to figure out who fits this criteria. I do think its going to be a character that we have already met because its too late in the game to introduce a new character or have it be someone we don’t know as it would be very anitclimatic if that did happen. 
Ok so unfortunately my boy Charles could fit this description. As much as I love him he does have a very personal reason to have a grudge against the town. It is very possible that he is angry that he was given up for adoption but also that Alice, when he came looking for his family, shut the door in his face. He could also be angry specifically at Betty, Jughead and also even Archie and Veronica as he could consider them responsible for getting Chic (his lover) arrested. It also wouldn’t be a reach for Charles who due to being an FBI agent has a very inquisitive mind and an investigative nature to be interested in how his birth town became corrupt and what trauma can do to kids especially if he on some level is trying to figure out why he was given up for adoption and why he was later turned away by his family. Maybe he wants to know if it was because of the town’s sickness and the darkness of the people in the town. It could also be him looking into whether he too has been twisted, afterall we know that he was raised by the Sisters of Quiet Mercy and who knows what kind of an effect that has had on him, so he could be trying to learn about his own darkness too. I personally, as I’ve said before, don’t want them to go this route. I just, one, feel like it would be way to predictable, it wouldn’t shock me at all. Two, they’ve done the whole evil brother earns the family’s trust then turns out to be a phychotic killer with Chic. I don’t want or need to see that storyline again, like please please Riverdale show me something new. I just think it would be more interesting to go the secret FBI agent route where he is manipulating the villians to take them down than the he’s evil one.
Another of my suspects I’ve also spoken about before is Terry the Ticklemaster. This one I’m less sure on and is based mostly on the fact that I just think he’s really suspicious and we know that he works with cameras. I’m unsure on what his personal vendetta could be as we don’t have enough information about him to know. However I could see how as a film maker he might also be interested in human behaviour so might also be interested in how the trauma effects Riverdale and its kids. To be honest I think its more likely that he is helping the voyeur than him actually being the voyeur. 
Suspect number 3 is Evelyn. I know she’s been in prison but she could be using the hypnosis she’s put on some of the farmies like she did with Polly and Alice to get others to do her bidding. Kind of like she’s the puppet master. As for what personal reason she could have well she could blame all those in Riverdale who used to be with the farm and who now aren’t, like Alice, Fangs, Kevin, Toni and Cheryl for abandoning the Farm and also Betty for the fact that she has been arrested and her husband has been killed. Also we know the Farm used people’s darkness to manipulate them into joining the cult so its possible that she would have a dark, twisted interest in how trauma is infecting the town.
Mr Honey could also be another possibilty. I know they kinda painted him as being the good guy at the end of this episode but I still haven’t forgotten about him visiting the red suite or other questionable behaviour such as wrecking Reggie’s car and being manipulative with Kevin and Reggie in the halloween episode. He also seems to have a weird vendetta against the students. Also his whole speech about trying to prepare them for the outside world because Riverdale isn’t normal makes me think that maybe he is sending the tapes to force these kids to look at their past traumas and understand how the town has a darkness and a sickness, a way of forcing them to see how dark they’ve become themselves and how wrong it is. Also weirdly the fact the show is trying to show him as a good guy makes me more suspicious of him. Of course all of this is provided he wasn’t the one being murdered at the end of this episode which I will discuss in a bit. 
Another option is Ethel. I mean poor Ethel has been mixed up in some pretty messed up situations. She’s got alot of reasons to be angry at the town. I mean there was the whole thing with Chuck in season 1, then in season 2 she was sending those threatening letters about Cheryl pretending to be the black hood in the Carrie episode, season 3 was the G&G plotline and she ended up with the sisters, now in season 4 we find out she is mixed up in the red suite where they had homemade sex tapes and snuff films. Plus she had that line about making it out of Riverdale in one piece which suggests that she recognises that the town isn’t normal and had a traumatic effect on the kids. Out of all of them though I think she’s the least likely. 
Ok this one is a little more out there but when going over the footage of the Honey Murder I did notice that the woman in the Betty mask does look to have blonde hair. It is a little hard to tell though because of the low quality and the lighting. But if they did have blonde hair who do we know who might have an issue with Riverdale. Well I think it could be Polly. We haven’t really heard from her since the beginning of the season so we don’t know for sure if she is still at Shady Grove or not. Also she’s got plenty of personal reasons to be doing this. Her fiance and father of her twins was murdered by his own father, FP hid the body, her own Father tried to force her to have an abortion before with her mother’s agreement she was locked up with the Sisters. Then she is taken in by blossoms only to find out that she was having her cousin’s babies and that the blossoms were only helping her so they could get the babies. Her dad turns out to be a serial killer. Then she ends up joining a cult, gets a bomb strapped to her chest and then ends up locked up in a mental hospital. She’s been deeply affected by the darkness of the town and more specifically Jason’s death. His murder has been brought up alot this season this could be in preparation of revealing the voyeur to be Polly getting revenge for Jason’s murder. 
Ok please forgive me for this one, I’m really hoping this one isn’t true but the thought did pop into my mind so. But I realised that the two videos found at the Red Suite, the Jason Blossom murder and Midge’s have something in common. They were both pieces of footage that were handed into the Sheriff’s Department. More specifically they were handed in when Tom Keller was Sheriff. Now I’m not suggesting that its Tom but rather Kevin. We know that Kevin was one of the first people to see the footage of Jason Blossom being murdered. He was also in charge of the Carrie production and I feel like he felt alot of responsibility for what happened to her. It’s also not unreasonable to assume he might have been able to get hold of those two pieces of footage through his Father he could have snuck in and stolen them. We also know he knows how to use a camera as we saw him filming for Alice in episode 15. Also Kevin has gone through alot of crap the last couple of years and I think his speech to Mr Honey in the musical episode is very telling of his mental state right now particularly how he talked about how he felt numb but was screaming on the inside. Also in the beginning of the season when he was talking to Betty and Charles he said he had felt alone all summer after leaving the Farm. Maybe these tapes are his way of getting the anger out. Also he was in prime position to get his hands on Jughead’s story about Mr Honey. It was Kevin who came and told Jughead and Betty that Mr Honey was looking for them. Its during this scene that we see Jughead leave his pages on the desk. Its possible that Kevin then went in there and took the pages. However although I don’t watch Katy Keene I am aware that apparently Kevin was on that show and that its set 5 years in the future I believe. I did see one clip where Kevin is talking about how he is still in Riverdale and that he works at Riverdale high. But if he were involved surely he would be in jail. But its possible that he was either hypnotised by Evelyn, the group  find out he’s involved but the authorities don’t, he’s sent to jail but is released by the time he is seen in Katy Keene, he makes a bargain with the authorities where he gets immunity if he turns the ringleader in. I feel something must have happened though because last episode Kev was talking about going to Carniege but after watching that clip I’m not so sure he did go because I feel like if he had he wouldn’t now be back in Riverdale working at the school, he’d be onto bigger better things. Him being involved in the video tapes could explain why he didn’t go to that college if that is the case. But as I sai I don’t watch the show, I haven’t seen the full episode I’ve just seen the one clip so there could be something in the episode that exonerates him of my accusations.   
So out of them all who do I think is most likely the voyeur? Well actually pretty much all of them. We know from the Mr Honey tape that the Voyeur is not working alone, there were six people in that video doing the murdering so there must be at least six people involved. There were three females and three males. So I think our ringleader is Donna and that she is accompanied by Polly, Evelyn (who seeing as we haven’t checked in on her in a good few episodes it possible she could have either been released from jail or escaped), Terry, Mr Honey and Kevin. All of these characters have a motive and they can all been linked, Donna knows Evelyn because she went to visit her in jail and they worked together to mess with Betty, Evelyn is connected to Polly and Kevin through the farm, Kevin is connected to Terry and Mr Honey. Several of them can also be linked to the Red suite or to film making in some way. 
As for whether it was really Mr Honey being killed in the video I do have some thoughts on that. Firstly the bandage that was on Mr Honey’s hand all episode doesn’t appear to be on the victims hand, of course they could have taken if off. If we go with Mr Honey is one of the killers in the video then we still have the problem that no one in the video had a bandage on their hand. Another thing I thought of is if it is the real Mr Honey why bother putting a mask on him? Is it just for theatrics? In which case surely it would have been much scarier and dramatic if the viewer knew it was Mr Honey. So I’m kinda 50/50 on that one. If it is him then I don’t think that neccessarily means he wasn’t ever involved after all if it is Donna masterminding it all then it wouldn’t be the first time she’s killed someone on her side because they stopped being useful. But if it is him then Jughead could find himself in hot water considering he was the one who wrote the story about Mr Honey being murdered by his group of friends and then that actually happens, that looks very suspicious. But what about you guys do you think it was Mr Honey who was killed or do you think he’s lived to cancel prom another day? 
Freaky Friction 
Next I want to talk about the storyline of Jughead’s revenge fantasy story. I actually loved these parts of the episode, mostly. There were some things that I wasn’t quite ok with but for the most part it was really entertaining. I loved loved loved seeing the kids work together as a group. Also just them hanging out as a group. Those scenes where they were altogether are the kind of scenes I’ve been looking for all season, these characters are suppose to be friends and it was refreshing to see those interactions, the only thing that could have made it better would have been if Toni, Fangs and Sweet Pea were also included. What I found most interesting about this storyline was firstly, this whole concept of how the kids are really the monsters and how the town has become dark and corrupted. Jughead’s story kind of held a mirror up to both the kids and the town as a whole and showed just how dark they had become. I loved how that was a gradual realisation as well, like as the story went on Jughead is slowly beginning to see that. The other thing I thought was really interesting is the way Jughead depicts the characters in his story. So starting with the way Jughead wrote the charaters. To me they all seemed really ooc like none of them behaved the way I thought they would. For example it was interesting that he depicted Reggie as the one who can’t handle the aftermath of the murder and starts to slip up and cave and tell people about what they had done and that it was Archie who stopped him. The reason why I think this is interesting is because although we don’t know how Reggie would react in that situation, we have some idea of how Archie would because of the whole Jughead attempted murder thing. Now I know they are slightly different scenarios because Jughead didn’t die but we have to remember that in those first couple of days they didn’t know if Jughead was going to die and they also didn’t know if Betty had actually been the one to do it. So essentially they were acting how they would have if they were trying to cover up a murder. In that scenario it was actually Archie who nearly slipped up and told his mum what had happened. The only reason why he didn’t was because Betty saw what was happening and rang him up to warn him to stop talking. Later Archie actually does cave and tells his mum the truth about how Jughead had faked his death. So we know that really if Jughead had written the characters accurately then Archie should have been the one struggling not to tell anyone. 
Also its interesting the way he depicts Reggie, as mostly throughout the series he and Reggie have been at odds with each other. In season 1 Reggie straight up bullied Jughead and there has been alot of conflict between Reggie and the Serpents in the rest of the seasons. But there have been moments when its really mattered where they have all come together. Given all the physical altercations he and Reggie have gotten into you’d think Jughead would write him as a violent unremorseful character but he doesn’t while he does have one scene where Reggie loses his temper and beats on Mr Honey for most of the story Reggie is seen being very regretful and guilty of his actions. I think this is because Jughea recognises that alot of Reggie’s anger and outbursts stem from the abuse he has suffered growing up. Reggie says to Archie that his dad has been hitting him for as long as he can remember. That has to have had an effect on him. I think Jughead knows that unltimately Reggie is a good person underneath it all.   
Veronica was another one that wasn’t written the way I was expecting her to be. I’ve said this so many times in my other posts that you are probably getting bored of it but we have to remember to look at things from the character’s pov in situations like this. Obviously all of this is told from Jughead’s point of view. This is what makes it so interesting because in the past Jughead has villanized Veronica. In season 3 there was pretty much an all out war between his family and hers and he was fully aware of the fact that she was helping her parents with their schemes. She knew about Southside High being closed down yet acted like she didn’t and even tried to manipulate the situation in her parents favour, as nice as it was for her to greet the serpents and welcome them to the school she wasn’t doing that out of the kindness of her own heart it was because her parents told her to. She also knew about the prison and actively helped her parents bring that about. She got her redemption arc later when she then turned agaisnt her parents. But I feel like Jughead has always seen her as a cold, calculating person who is often influenced by her parents and I wouldn’t say they have been particularly close over the seasons. Also again, as with Archie, we know how she would react in a situation like this due to the whole Jughead is dead thing and in that situation in my opinion she was the calmer more logical thinking one out of the three. So its really interesting to me that in both versions of his story he wrote Veronica as the moral compass. I do have one theory on it though. If we are going on the assumption that Jughead has a negative and biased view of Veronica because of his family’s hardships at the hands of Veronica’s family and that he believes that Veronica is the one who is the most corrupt because of those events then maybe him putting Veronica in the position of being morally correct is his subconcious telling him there is still hope that they could escape the darkness of the town. Like if Veronica can turn things around then there is hope for them all. It’s possible that he has watched her fight her way out from under her parents thumb and escape their dark influence and make her own path and he actually kind of admires her for it. It’s been something he himself has tried to do in respect of getting away from his own family’s dark past and being the first Jones man to go to college. He’s been judged his whole life for where he comes from and who his family is and its something he has fought back against as long as we’ve known him, this whole idea of no you’re wrong I’m so much more than what you think I am. I think he is now starting to recognise that Veronica has been through that same thing too. From day one people have judged her for being Hiram Lodge’s daughter, that her family are criminals and she’ll be just the same. But as I’ve said he’s witnessed her journey and seen how she has fought to prove people wrong and make herself into the person she wants to be. I think this is a character trait that Jughead really respects and admires. This is why he then writes her as almost the heroine of the story.
Cheryl is also another one that behaves differently to how we’ve seen her at in the same situation in the real world. Its really intriguing that Jughead chose to write Cheryl the way he did. Again we know that when confronted with a dead body to get rid of and a murder to cover up, Cheryl will react calmly and in that situation she was the one that came up with the plan to get rid of the body and how to make sure her relatives stayed quiet she also showed little signs that it had effected her much afterwards. Yet in Jughead’s story she’s one of the most emotional. We and also Jughead have seen in the past that Cheryl tends to keep most of her emotions bottled up, she rarely really reacts to trauma. She tends to put on a brave face most of the time but then we’ve seen her show emotion enough to know that she is still capable of feeling emotion and that she is effected by what is happening around her but she tends to keep it all in check until it finally bubbles over. Out of everyone you could argue that Cheryl has had one of the roughest times on the show and I don’t think she is ever really given the time or space to properly process her trauma or grieve her losses. She’s been damaged by the things shes gone through and her parents abuse who I feel like taught her emotion was a weakness. We know that her mother often told her she was a loveless monster and heartless and I think on some level Cheryl believed her, it was something that plagues her as we see from her conversation with Toni at Pop’s after they saw Love, Simon. Her relationship with Toni is helping her realise this isn’t true but I still think those scars from her mother’s phsycological abuse run deep and I think this not being allowed to properly grieve was what led to that really unhealthy situation where she had Jason in her basement. What I think Jughead has done in his story is portrayed Cheryl how she probably should behave and react to this situation given her past traumas. He’s allowing her to let her emotions out and actually grieve. Maybe he recognises that she’s hiding behind a wall and feels some kind of sympathy for her and so in his story where he is the master of what happens he lets her process things in a more healthy way of crying it out to her friends. 
Which brings me to the next part because if that is the case and he is trying to write Cheryl as processing things healthily then why does his own character of Jughead behave the way he does towards Cheryl and tell her to get ahold of herself and even potentially plans to kill her for showing emotion? Well I think the most interesting part of Jughead’s story is the way he depicts himself and Betty. Again these are characters where we’ve seen what their natural reaction to getting rid of dead bodies is. With the whole Shady Man plotline we saw both of them have very emotional reactions, Betty is seen throwing up and having flashbacks and Jughead looked visibly shaken when she told him about it. Betty again reacts the same way when she thinks she might have hurt Jughead we again see her throwing up and really struggling with it. Yet in Jughead’s story they are without a doubt the most ruthless and darkest out of all the characters in the story. It almost comes across as them enjoying it, they show no remorse for killing Mr Honey or Reggie and they ridicule the others for showing emotion like they see it as them being weak. They seem straight up psychotic at times. So why has he written them this way? Well some of it I think is his own fears making their way into his writing. I think he has this fear that they’ve all been through so much that by this point they are too damaged and that they will never fully escape the darkness of the town, that no matter where they go that darkness will follow them. I think this particularly hits home when Story Jughead says ‘are we going to be monsters in college or in jail.’ This to me seems like he doesn’t believe that leaving Riverdale will free them from all the pain and horrific events they’ve experienced. That this is something he fears. I feel like its a fear that alot of the other kids feel too. But I think Jughead fears the most that he and Betty are the ones that will struggle the most to leave it all behind. If you think about it he and Betty are the ones who are most often pulled into the murder and mayhem of the town by their investigative adventures. More and more willingly over time they went looking for mysteries to solve. I think it got to the point where they started to enjoy and almost become obsessed with solving these mysteries to the point where they are now almost in too deep. I also think it would be natural for Jughead to worry more about Betty the most as she’s the one he’s closest too. If you think about it the next darkest character in the original story is Archie who is the next closet person to him. The other interesting part though is when he rewrites the story he ‘saves’ Archie from his darkness and makes him a good guy who does the right thing. I think part of this is because he has seen Archie consistently try to do the right thing and so maybe he thinks this will somehow help spare Archie from being stuck in the darkness. But both he and Betty are still the dark characters who get no redemption in the end, I think this is because it is such a deep rooted fear that he believes neither he or Betty will ever be able to walk away from it all, that they will always be sucked back into another murder mystery. 
I think another reason why he might have depicted them as the darkest of all the characters is because as Cheryl said they found each other in this town of nightmares. It was the darkness of Riverdale that their relationship was born out of. I made a post about how Archie sees the light in Betty well I feel like its the opposite for Jughead and he sees the darkness in her. Now before some of you start picking up your pitchforks and flaming torches I don’t necessarily mean that’s a bad thing. In fact in some ways its a good thing that Jughead can understand that darker part of her and that he accepts it, I feel like its what Betty needed at times. I also think it was important that Betty was also able to do the same for Jughead. But this only works if they are helping each other work through their darkness, which they used to do in the past.
And this is where we reach the true problem, that epiphany that Jughead reaches. These kids have stopped helping and supporting each other through the darkness, now instead they’ve started to encourage each others inner darkness. As Jughead says after he rewrites his story he realised that he was revelling in the town’s sickness and enjoying the suffering of another. This was true of all the kids. I liked this running theme, that ran simultaneously through both the story Jug was writing and the plotline of the kids going up against Mr Honey over prom, of the real monsters being the kids who have been corrupted by the town and all its happenings. I mean during the whole planning out the revenge fantasy and planning how to overthrow Mr Honey not one of them stopped to question whether what they were doing was right, not one of them called their friends out they all just encouraged each other and threw in their own ideas. I mean when Betty starts talking about how Mr Honey works late on tuesdays so they could sneak into school and kidknap him, Archie doesn’t comeback with wow Betty that’s really dark maybe we shouldn’t be thinking about this, instead he points out that Mr Honey would recognise them. It all just kind of snowballs from there. And yes I get that its all fiction and made up and its played off comically but its different when its set in a town where this sort of thing actually happens on a regular basis and, as Betty says herself, alot of lines in the story they have said in real life, I mean Betty, Jughead and Cheryl have been in the postion where they have had someone tied up, Cheryl has actually mapleboarded her mother which is what gave them that idea for the revenge fantasy. Some of them have legit had to get rid of a body before. Its the fact that while it might be made up they are getting the ideas from real life experiences that makes it seem all the more sinister. 
The other disturbing thing to though is throughout most of the episode the kids don’t recognise that they are the bad guys. They see Mr Honey as this enemy because when you think about it every person in town in twisted in some way, that’s what’s normal for riverdale. I think its very telling that the first thing Betty plans to do when thinking of a plan to overthrow Honey and get prom back is look for skeletons. Again she does this because that’s just how Riverdale works, everyone has a secret that they are hiding or some dark past they don’t want anyone to know about and using blackmail to get what you want is just a normal way to deal with things in Riverdale and its been this way for so long now that the kids don’t even see why that’s wrong. I saw alot of comments saying about how they thought the way the kids were behaving with Mr Honey was wrong and that he was in the right most of the time when he was punising the students, like he was right when he punished Cheryl for locking her coach in a room and causing that coach to have a panic attack, the tickle gang were wearing school uniforms in those videos which could give the school a bad rep, he didn’t know that Betty didn’t cheat on the quiz and if as the evidence suggested she had then banning her from prom was the right thing to do. There were some things he did that were very questionable and as I said above I’m not completley sold on him being a good guy. But all these comments are right, for the most part he behaved as a normal strict principal would in most of those situations. But we have to look at it from the kids point of view and remember that the majority of the adults they’ve had in their lives have been abusive or manipulative and done some pretty awful things to them so its not at all surprising that these kids would see Honey’s actions as him being out to get them afterall that’s what a normal adult in riverdale would be doing. I think the most worrying part though is that it almost seemed like on some level the kids didn’t want things to change. For example when Jughead told Honey not to mess with them in their own town or how when Honey pointed out the all the murder, mayhem and depravity in the town was not normal, Betty replied it was normal to them. I feel like the kids are stuck in this limbo where some part of them wants to escape and get out of Riverdale and another part of them is afraid of leaving what is normal to them. Whilst Riverdale and its ways are not normal to the rest of the world its what these kids know and understand. I just thought this idea of holding up a mirrror to the town and showing just how effected the residents of riverdale and the kids in particular was a really interesting one that they explored this episode.
I’m Not So Sure About That
Ok so I do want to quickly talk about the parts that I had a bit of an issue with. Firstly I really didn’t like that Jughead used Reggie’s abuse at the hands of his father as a plotpoint in his story. This story was being sent off to a College where other people, strangers that Reggie doesn’t know will read it. Ok so Jughead was going to change the names but even so something about it seemed wrong to me. I also feel like it is something that happens alot with Jughead’s writing to, he wrote about Jason Blossom without taking into consideration how it might be traumatic for Cheryl to know a book about her brother’s murder at the hands of her father is being read by people worldwide. Especially when she is trying to move on from it. Also he did the same with Betty where he was going to write one about her father which she got understandably upset about. I just feel like we are seeing this pattern of Jughead using his friends’ traumas for his writing without asking them first. Like I understand that he is drawing from his own experiences like he was heavily involved in solving these mysteries but it still didn’t seem right. Like if they had written in a quick scene or line where he talks to those who will be effected and was like hey I want to write this story, I think its important people know this story, I’m going to change the names, is it ok for me to do this, then it might have been a bit better. 
The other thing I was conflicted or even confused about was Jughead writing Betty the way he did, as Dark Betty and how ok Betty was with it. Now I did explain above why he might have done this but I’m still somewhat conflicted about it because I feel like this season Betty has really struggled with this whole dark side of herself to the point where she thought she might actually have hurt someone she loved and where she was willing to be hypnotised so she could kill her dark self. It seemed a bit insensitive for Jughead to then write Betty as Dark Betty and I was genuinely confused as to why Betty seemed to like it so much. I feel like she was a bit ooc this episode in that respect and it almost felt to me that she had gone backwards. I mean she had made all this progress before where she had moved on from this darkside of herself she had wanted to move away from the whole murder mysteries and focus more on other things and now its like she is being sucked back in again. I do think some of it is because thats the dynamic of her relationship with Jughead, they go on murder mysteries together and they’re both a little dark and twisted. But I can’t help but wonder if you take that away what’s left? What would their relationship look like without that stuff because I feel like its such a big part of them. I think the other part is as a mentioned above as much as these kids want to escape they also don’t want to leave what’s familiar to them. 
The other thing that I found a little odd and this one is minor, but when did Archie tell them about going to the Naval Academy? Because it seemed like a big decision for him but it was kind of just brushed over. I mean Jughead clearly knows about the Naval Academy because he writes into the story and Betty must know to because she didn’t have much of a reaction to reading it. The only thing I could think of is that Archie mentioned he had applied but they don’t know yet if he has got in. I’m pretty sure Jughead in the story said he was going to Iowa but we don’t know if he has got in yet. Obviously in that scene though they had to say they were going for it to fit the scene seeing as they were all listing the colleges they were going to. If that was it though its a bit disappointing as they made a bit of  a big deal out of him questioning whether to go and I feel like him telling his friends he’s going would be kind of something we should see. But I guess they still might ave a scene where he confirms he’s going to his friens, we’ll have to wait and see.
The fact that Toni, Fangs and Sweet Pea weren’t included in this episode. I’m assuming that they had some good reason why they weren’t included like scheduling or something but still I would have liked to have seen them in those scenes.    
The Bits I liked    
Ok so now I want to talk about the bits I liked. I loved the comedy in this episode. Like it was dark humor but it was still good, I laughed alot during this episode at just how ridiculous some of it was and I do think that was the point they weren’t expecting you to take it seriously it was meant to be fun and it was. Some of my favourite moments was Archie suggesting he could sneak up on Honey and knock him out then when it shows the story acting it out Archie just runs straight at him and punches him in the face, no subtlety, no sneaking just pure chaotic energy. Everyone putting up their hands when asked whose got experience dealing with a body before and  Reggie commenting on how was he the only one who hadn’t dealt with a dead body before was another golden moment. I also loved the scene when the parents are confronting Honey and FP says he and Tom are just the muscle. I gotta admit as well that as sorry as I felt for him there was something very amusing about seeing Mr Honey being wheeled out of his office while stuck to his chair and with the hand still glued to the phone. There were just so many comedy gold moments throughout the episode. 
Reggie. Just Reggie as a person, he was great in this episode I loved every minute he was on screen and I really hope we get to see more of him in season 5. 
The scene where the kids recruit the parents and they all come walking slow mo down the hall and then threaten Mr Honey with lawyers and governors and scathing news articles (and of course the muscle) was amazing. 
Also the scene with the parents and the kids celebrating at Pop’s was really sweet with everything the parents were saying it did feel a bit like the end of a chapter like the parents are getting ready for their kids to fly the nest.  
Season 5 Predictions and Theories. 
Ok to finish off I want to talk about what I think might happen next for our Riverdale gang. I’ve based some of this off of the interviews that I have read since watching the episode and on what’s happened in the show already and where I logically think the show can/ will go from here. First I want to address the issue that there’s been some talk that the time jump might not happen. This is based off of an interview RAS gave where the reporter asked if the time jump will still happen and this is what RAS replied:             
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So obviously this has caused some confusion as to whether the time jump will still happen. I personally feel like even though its going to be more difficult then doing it between seasons it is still something they should do. I feel like it could be a bit of a mess trying to follow them while they are all at colleges miles away from each other. I mean only Toni and Cheryl are going to the same school so they would have to build at least 5 new sets for each of the colleges. I feel like it would be kind of impossible for the group to interact when they are all at different schools. Alternately they do some storyline where none of them go to the colleges they wanted to and they all end up at local colleges which is kinda what they did with Gossip Girl and to be honest it turned into a bit of a mess. By the mid point of the season the audience wasn’t even sure if they were still even in college because they would never go and it just stopped making sense. They could try and draw out a storyline set in the summer right before they go to college up until the midseason finale and then do the 5 year time jump inbetween the mid season break. They did this with Pretty Little Liars and while it was a little jarring it worked slightly better than Gossip Girl trying to follow them through college. My personal preference would be for them to stick with what they planned orignally and finding a way to make that work so still have the time jump after episode 4x22/5x03. It’s not ideal I know but I feel like ultimately it will make more sense from a storytelling point of view. But seeing as it is so uncertain I am going to base my preditions off of the assumption there will be a time jump as planned. 
FP and Hermione
So we know that FP and Hermione won’t be in season 5 past episode 3 as the actors are leaving the show. However RAS has confirmed that neither character will die and that he hopes that they may be able to return now and again in the same way that they have Mary Andrews pop in and out when the narrative allows it. So if they aren’t dying how might they be written out of the show. Well this is where the time jump could come in handy. If Veronica goes to Barnard then maybe the Lodges or just Hermione move back to New York to be close to her. When whatever draws them back to Riverdale happens it wouldn’t be unreasonable for Hermione to choose to stay in New York. Maybe Hiram either doesn’t leave Riverdale to start with I mean he is Mayor, or if he did maybe he also comes back to keep an eye on Veronica. As for FP I think with Betty and Jughead going to college maybe FP and Alice decide that they’ve had enough of Riverdale and all the crap they’ve been through and so they decide to move out of town and raise Jelly Bean somewhere a little more kid friendly you know where she might not be murdered or roped into joining a cult or running drugs for a gang. Then when Betty is back in Riverdale maybe Alice comes back to help with whatever is going on. 
The Love Square. 
So based off the interviews we know that ep 20 was going to be the prom episode, that 21 was one where alot of emotional journeys climaxed and that 22 was graduation. We know that at some point Jughead and Veronica will find out about what happened between Archie and Betty and RAS did confirm two things one was that it won’t be the video tapes that outs them. The second is that they both find out in different ways. 
In regards to Veronica and Archie I think Veronica is going to find out in the prom episode. This is what RAS said about it:   
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From what he is saying here about how we haven’t seen the last of the song Archie wrote for Betty I think it might be the song that gives him away. Now it could be that he sings it at Prom but I’m not sure why he would do that. Realistically you are not going to sing a song that you wrote about your childhood friend who you’ve caught feelings for and who is dating your best guy friend while at prom with your girlfriend. So I feel like someone is either going to find a recording of the song (we know that Archie sometimes records his songs as we’ve seen him play them from a portable recorder and his laptop) or someone will overhear him singing it. This could be Cheryl as she does like to meddle in things and cause some chaos. But maybe whoever hears the song puts Archie on the spot and asks him to sing it at prom leaving him with no other choice. Its possible that Veronica then realises that its not about her and there is some big dramatic blowout between them.A more awkward situation would be if something happens at the prom that prompts Archie’s mum to go on stage and suggest that Archie come up and sing as a way to distract from whatever drama is going down. Trying to be helpful maybe she asks if he can sing that beautiful song he wrote for Veronica. Again this puts Archie right on the spot as now everyone is expecting him to sing and Veronica is there beaming at him thinking he’s written some love song for her only to realise as he sings it that its not actually about her. Maybe this then forces him to come clean to Veronica and then they break up. 
Another option is that on Prom day/night Veronica either finds the song, either written in his notebook or a recording of it, or is mother mentions it to her and thats when she realises he’s written a song about someone else. Understandably this puts her in a bit of a bad mood but she doesn’t want to spoil the night so she quietly seeths for a bit until eventually during prom Archie having recognised she’s in a bad mood asks whats wrong and she can’t keep it in anymore and confronts him. 
Option 3 is again someone finds the recording and they download it and then play it at prom as oppose to Archie signing it live. I could see a potential scenario like this happening if Cheryl were to find the song and decides she really likes it and wants it to play while she and Toni have their prom queens dance so she just takes it and gives it to the DJ to play. Then we get the same as I’ve said before, Veronica confronts Archie he confesses and they realise their realtionship isn’t going anywhere. I feel like finding out about the kiss will bring up alot of other things they need to talk about too such as where their relationship is going in regards to what happens when they go to college and that kind of thing. 
As for Jughead and Betty RAS doesn’t mention anything about them in this interview in regards to prom but in another he does say that when they were looking at the footage of 4x20 to see if they could patch an episode together a big part of the reason why they chose not to was because they hadn’t yet filmed some important character scenes between Archie and Veronica and Betty and Jughead. So we know something important happens between Betty and Jughead during the prom episode but I don’t feel like its actually at prom because RAS said they had already filmed the big event. RAS had also said that after everything happened with Barchie Betty was feeling good about returning to Jughead and that she was trying to reconnect with him. To be honest this makes sense to me and we saw a bit of it in episode 19. I did feel like Betty seemed to be trying a little too hard with Jughead she just seemed more touchy feely with him than she usually is. We all said that we thought she would throw herself back into that relationship and really try to focus on it to distract herself. This is the same behaviour as the last time she and Archie kissed. Just pretend it didn’t happen and put extra attention on her relationship with Jughead. It would also make sense for her to feel good about it as she has convinced herself she made the right choice, Here’s the thing though RAS said trying to reconnect he doesn’t say anything about succeeding in that. Also Betty is being untruthful with Jughead right now by not being honest with him about what happened with Archie. So long as she is being untruthful with him its not going to work between them. Eventually its going to come out and its going to be made worse by the fact that Betty has been lying to him. RAS says this about episode 21:  
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He also in another interview said this about Betty an Jughead’s relationship:
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So I could see a couple of things happening here. One it’s still possible that Jughead finds out about Archie and Betty in the prom episode just maybe not at prom itself. It could be that Veronica finds out earlier in the episode and then Jughead finds out at the very end of the episode and its the cliffhanger for the episode which would leave things unresolved between Betty and Jughead. RAS says that in episode 21 alot of emotional stories climax meaning they come to a head or to the end. He also says before graduation Betty and Jughead have a big, difficult conversation about their future as they are going to different schools. The thing is similar to how I think its going to go with Veronica and Archie I do think that this big, difficult conversation will start off about what happened with Betty and Archie and then evolve from there into a discussion about where there relationship can go from here considering they are going to different schools. I do think it’ll be in episode 21 that Betty and Jughead will break up. As for how I think Jughead might find out we know its different from how Veronica does. Also RAS when asked if Barchie were truly over mentioned how Betty kept her diary which suggests that as we suspected will come back into play. I actually think it’ll be through the diary that Jughead finds out and I think that’s why so much focuss was put on these two items (the song and the diary) in episode 18 because these were the things that were going to reveal the truth about Barchie. I think its possible that at the end of the prom episode they’ve made it home after prom and maybe Betty is grabbing a shower or something and while she’s out the room Jughead knocks the diary off the side or desk and it falls open at the page where Betty wrote about the kiss. As Jughead picks it up off the floor the words catch his eye and he can’t help but read what it says. At that moment is when Betty comes back into the room and Jughead looks up from the diary to her and thats when it cuts to black. 
Another option is that Jughead doesn’t find out in ep 20 but in ep 21 they talk about what’s going to happen after graduation and decide they are going to make a long distance thing work. Then either at the end of ep 21 or the beginning of ep 22 he finds out about the kiss through the diary, another way he could see the diary is if someone else finds the diary pages about Barchie and decides to make a photocopy and send it to Jughead, maybe Jellybean is snooping in Betty’s room for some reason and wants to protect her brother but doesn’t want anyone to know she read Betty’s diary so she sends it instead. After a confrontation they then break up.   
Then graduation will be this really emotional bittersweet episode where the core four will be broken apart but also coming together to celebrate the end of this stage of their lifes then they will all go their separate ways. 
As a quick interjection I have seen some speculation that maybe Jughead and Betty will get engaged. I personally don’t think its likely, I’ve not seen any hints myself that suggest that may happen. I think from the sounds of this difficult conversation they are going to have its more likely they break up and it does seem like the goal was to break up the core four for the time jump. However one scenario where this could happen is if they get engaged before he finds out about Barchie and then they break up after he finds out. While I’ll admit that would bring alot of drama to the show I personally really really don’t want that to happen. The main reason for this is, and I know some might disagree with me here, but one thing I hated, like really hated, last time they kissed in season 2 was how Betty then slept with Jughead before telling him the truth about Archie. Now anyone who has read my barchie analysis for ep 17 will know that I don’t hate characters for making a mistake, so I want to make it clear that I still love Betty and I’m not hating on her when I say this I recognise that she is a young girl who is still making mistakes and growing. But like I said for me I thought it was wrong of Betty to take that next big step with Jughead whilst he was in the dark about the kiss. I feel like he should have been given the option to walk away from her without having taken that next step if he wanted to break up with her because of it. Whilst we know now that Jughead doesn’t break up with her when he finds out there was no way of knowing that at the time. What makes it worse was that Jughead was honest with Betty about how he had done stuff with Toni when they were separated. I just wish Betty had returned the favour and had also been honest. I feel like if she were to get engaged to him without him knowing about what happened with Archie it would be the same situation. I just feel like if you are going to be making these big steps in a relationship then you need to do it with all your cards shown. It kinda reminds me of the situation in this movie I loved growing up called The Wedding Date, if you haven’t seen it then I’m sorry but I’m about to spoil it for you (to be fair it did come out in 2005) so skip this part if you want but its where a bride is revealed to have been sleeping with her sisters ex and cheating on her fiance, the ex also happens to be the grooms best friend, there’s this one scene where the sister confronts the bride when she says she plans to tell her fiance the truth but after the wedding, and the sister sarcastically tells her that she should pick the right time because when he finds out she has been cheating on him ‘he won’t feel like the whole world is collapsing around him and there’s no escape because you tricked him into marrying you.’ I feel like this would be a similar situation if Betty were to accept Jughead’s proposal without telling him that she cheated with Archie. It might make Jughead feel more trapped if they are engaged. With every new step they take together its going to be worse when Jughead does eventually find out. Anyway I feel like I’ve just gone completely off course here. But yeah it could potentially happen, it would definitely be drama filled but while I might be a Barchie shipper I still love Jughead and I would hate to see him crushed like that. 
So I’ve spoken about the other two couples so what do I think will happen with Barchie? Well as I said Veronica and Archie will break up in ep 20, Jughead and Betty I reckon will be ep 21 and I think Barchie will come in ep 22. In his interviews RAS said that Betty’s emotional affair with Archie reconfirmed her feelings for Jughead. Again I feel like this makes sense. I said myself that I felt like Betty choosing Jughead had more to do with not wanting to lose Jughead than it did with how she felt about Archie. Thinking back on it, twice now this season Betty has been confronted with this possibilty of losing Jughead, first with his attempted murder and then when she cheated. Jughead isn’t just someone she loves he and their relationship is something familiar to her and so I think she is clinging to that out of fear or not knowing what her life will look like without him in it. She got a small taste of what it was like to be at different schools when he was at Stonewall and it was during these times that she drifted closer to Archie. The thing is she hasn’t yet had to fully comprehend what it’ll be like to lose Archie. I think when she ended it with him at no point did she believe that she could lose Archie by ending it. I think she just knew he would still be there for her even if they weren’t romantically involved. Again this thinking would make sense as the last time they kissed after despite the fact that they didn’t get together he was still there for her. Archie has been this constant in her life and I think in ep 22 there will come a moment maybe at graduation or right after where she will realise this is it, they are going to go their separate ways and that she might not ever see him again. I could see it happen while everyone is sitting around at the graduation after party and they’re all talking about what their plans are next and maybe Archie says something like he’s not sure if he’ll come back to riverdale after he’s done with the navy. I do think they will then have a really emotional goodbye scene where they both admit they have feelings for each other but accept that now just isn’t the right time for them. My ultimate fantasy would be if they then make a pact that in 5 years time they’ll meet back in Riverdale and see where they stand with each other. I do think if they ended the episode there it would be nice follow on for the next episode where it is 5 years in the future. 
What Brings Them All Back
So if they do go with the time jump then what is it that could bring them all back to Riverdale 5 years later? The obvious one would be someone is murdered so they all come back for the funeral and end up staying to solve the mystery. I mean its definitely possible but I feel like from some of the interviews and the direction they have taken this season so far that they are setting up the show to have a huge shift in focus. A time jump could be a great way of kind of resetting the show and turning it into something new and well I think they are running out of ideas for the whole murder mystery type genre and  I think people are getting a little tired of it too, so they might shift it to focus more on just a drama full of adult life obstacles and problems. No murders or cults or any of that, maybe turn it more into a later seasons gossip girl, One tree hill or 90210 type of show. In that case I can think of three possible reasons why they come back. 1) There is a 5 year high school reunion. 2) At graduation they all made a pact together to all return to riverdale on that exact day 5 years later so they could see where everyone ended up. 3) This ones my favourtie, what if Choni are getting married and they all come back for the wedding. Whatever the reason for them coming back I do feel like something will happen that will keep them all there. It could be like a One Tree Hill type thing where they came back because nathan was injured but found reasons to stay for example Peyton wanted to open her own recording label and said she needed inspiration which One tree hill was giving her (but lets be honest she also stayed for lucas). Brooke stays because she decides to open a store there. I could see something similar happening here. If they do a time jump of five years to skip over their time in college then they still have a problem with one of the characters Archie. When Brooke (the woman from the navy academy) told him about the navy academy she said it was four years at the academy and then five years on active duty in the navy. That means 9 years away so if the time jump is only 5 years then Archie will still be in his first year of active duty in the navy. However it is possible that they will go with a storyline where Archie is injured in his first year of active duty and has to be medically discharged from the navy or at the very least take time off to recover. This could be what brings the rest of them back to riverdale as they all want to help and support Archie in his recovery. It would be a rather tragic stroyline for Archie as he would go through all that training, work on his boxing career only for it to all be torn away from him. If they do it right it could be a very emotional and moving storyline and it would take the show in a different direction but still have storylines that the audience can get invested in. They could make the show more about human emotions and real life struggles and the relationships of the characters as oppose to all the wacky, strange mysterious murder stuff.
So that is where I could see Archie being post time jump, he went the academy things went really well for him, then during his first year of active duty a sustains a life changing injury. He then has to go on this journey of dealing with this traumatic event thats happened to him and recovering from his injury. It would be a story about healing. 
As for Veronica I think she would have graduated from Barnard with a business degree and would now be foucced on growing her La Bonne Nuit into a franchise or something similar to that. Or maybe La Bonne Nuit isn’t doing so well so she wants to reinvitalise it and restore it to its former glory. I do think she’ll return to Riverdale engaged though. Likely to a rich and ambitious kind of fellow. I also feel like either she would have already gotten close to Jughead over the break or she will start to get close to Jughead when they are all back. I think this joint betrayal will bring them closer together. I don’t know if it would be a romantic situation but if they did do that I could see them as doing something similar to Spencer and Caleb on PLL in the sense of they have both broken up with their S/O and are feeling lost and end up connecting with each other. Now I don’t think their relationship would neccessarily go the same way as Spaleb went but I could see it starting out the same way in that they connect through the hurt they are feeling about their break ups.
Jughead I could see struggling to get a book published after leaving Barnard or maybe it’ll be the same thing as Lucas on OTH where he’s had one book that’s done really well but now the pressure is on him to give his publishers another one. Maybe this is why he stays in Riverdale as a way of drawing inspiration. 
As for Betty again she would have graduated from Yale. I could see her going one of two ways, either shes looking into journalism or I do think she could start training with the FBI. It would be a good way of tying Charles back into the storyline if he doesn’t turn out to be evil and it does seem to me like Betty really enjoys being in the Junior FBI program. We also know how much she loves to solve mysteries so I could definitely see Betty coming back as an FBI agent. 
Choni as I mentioned above I feel like they will be getting married. I think they’ll probably still have custody of the twins who will be much older now which could be quite fun to see. As for job wise I’m not sure where they’d be. I’m assuming Cheryl will still be doing the family Maple business. Maybe Toni goes into photography of something like that, I’m sure there was a storyline where she said she liked photography when we first met her, but I could be wrong on that. I feel like Cheryl probably kept in touch with Betty over the years and Toni probably kept in touch with Jughead. 
So yeah that’s what my predictions for season 5 are. 
Final Thoughts
So overall I thought this last episode was really good. It was a fun episode to end on. A huge well done to Madchen because she did an amazing job directing this episode, not that I’m surprised she is an absolute queen afterall.  It would have been nice to see the prom and graduation but I’m happy knowing that we will get to see them in season 5. I think this season as a whole was good. I thought the storyline around Stonewall Prep was really interesting and I am intrigued to know who is behind the video tapes. I loved that we got to see Charles and that he has been interacting with Jughead and Betty, I think seeing that sibling bond grow has been fun, lets just keep our fingers crossed it doesn’t all end in tears. Obviously I loved the Barchie storyline we got and I am glad that they seem to be changing things up in the show. I think it was starting to feel a little stagnant and stale and I do think that by changing up the relationships and having different characters interact with each other like Toni and Reggie, and Veronica and Cheryl, I think we need to see some more variety in the interactions in the show. Also it does seem to me like that might move away from the murder mystery part of it which could be interesting. I do think this whole idea of them forcing the characters to see the darkness of Riverdale is what will ultimately make the characters change their ways and heal Riverdale. I do think season 5 could be a season about healing, the town healing, the people healing and the relationships healing. So thats it for now, we’ve got a bit of a wait but as always thank you so much to everyone who read to the end of this.  
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itsthejuggernautbitch · 5 years ago
Text
cut + burn, chapter 1
Pairing: Colossus/reader -  Playlist
Summary: Wade decides that sixteen years of mutual pining is long enough. He's appointed himself your new wingman, and he's the best in town (or so he likes to think). Or, how the compound effort of Wade Wilson and total romantic frustration gave way to getting exactly what you've been waiting for.
Chapter 1: Suzanne
Part 2
Author’s Note: This is part one of a 5-part series. I’d like to tell you that this is something other than the introduction to a ton of smut, but that’s exactly what this is. Chapter title is Suzanne by Leonard Cohen.
Taglist: @marvel-is-perfection  @emma-frxst  @this-that-and-every-thing-else  @ptite-shit  @lesbianyondu  @chromecutie  @ra-ra-rasputiin  @hazilyimagine  @lenavonschweetz  @nu-tt  @rovvboat  @i-write-fanfic-not-essays
-----   -----   -----
You stepped off of the X-Jet onto the manicured green lawn of the X-Mansion and breathed deeply, struck by sweet relief and a feeling of inner peace that only comes from stretching your legs after being squeezed into a cubicle for eighteen hours. The mansion was just far enough away from the city that the fumes and funk from the crowded streets didn’t quite reach the immaculate stonework. Even better, there was no smoke, no fumes, no filtered air from the X-Jet vents - just clean, cold October air that smelled faintly of cut grass and sunshine. For that, you were exceptionally grateful.
Mostly because you were tired of smelling everyone else’s stank on the cramped X-Jet, but, you know, small favors.
As you stepped off of the ramp and onto the impeccable grass, it finally hit you that today was your Retirement Day, all caps, fanfare trumpeting in the background. Sixteen years of jetting around the globe and cleaning up everyone else's shit had led to this final, glorious day. In your line of work, sixteen years without a full-on mental breakdown was a major win.
As reigning HBIC of Professor Xavier's cleanup crew, you’d seen a lot of messes over the years that would have left anyone feeling hollow inside - kind of like your guts had been scooped out and dumped on the ground. The scenes were always ugly. You were the one running off to go coordinate transports of rogue mutants to holding facilities or clean up the bodies left behind from a particularly ugly villainous rampage. Those were your everyday, small-scale chores. The large-scale mass tragedies were the catalyst that really forced your retirement.
Your duties weren’t limited to your obligations to the X-Men - you cleaned up behind everyone. You’d dealt with the fallout from everything the Avengers had ever touched: you'd disposed of the alien corpses after the battle in New York, scoured Sokovia for salvageable lives, cleaned up after Thanos. You'd cleaned up behind all of Dr. Doom’s rampages and Magneto’s tantrums. Everywhere you'd been sent was overrun by the kind of wreckage that left an everlasting mark on your brain. And these mass impacts had only been occurring more and more often lately.
The aftermath of your Last Hurrah as a trademarked Active Duty Hero was bittersweet. There would be a fun party that night with everyone who wasn’t on some covert mission in attendance. Your team had come home with you, and your friends were waiting. They'd make you a cake and pour you a beer and maybe, just maybe, coerce you out into the city for a night of fun. There would be streamers with “Happy Retirement!” written on them, obviously meant for someone much older than yourself. Everyone would congratulate you for sixteen years of impeccable conduct and efficacy.
And tomorrow you would wave your team off on their next task - a task they would complete without you. You’d already chosen your replacement, a new graduate with the power to microwave the air around whatever she targeted. The girl had only been part of your team for a year, but she had great leadership skills and showed real promise. You had confidence in her for sure, but confidence in her abilities wasn't enough to help you sleep at night.
You'd come to find out that passing the torch was much harder than you’d been led to believe. While you had no reason to be unsure of your choice, you had a major problem with relinquishing control. Seriously, it had taken sixteen years for you to decide that enough was enough and you were tired of cleaning up every nasty scene imaginable. You weren't the kind of person who just let shit go.
Nevertheless, you'd finished your last active mission and made it home safely, no worse for wear and no more traumatized than before you left. You'd have to figure out how to handle it on your own time.
The welcoming committee stood off to the side of the small airfield. There were friends and mentors crowding the field, Professor X and the like. Some people you were only acquainted with, like Wade and his buddies. And while you enjoyed seeing each and every one of them, you were only looking for one person in particular - and he wasn’t difficult to find.
Colossus stood head and shoulders above the crowd, the tallest of the tall. He'd taken time away from his duties that day to welcome you home. Not that you expected any less - you’d been friends since you arrived at the mansion twenty years ago. He’d already “retired” from active duty himself, nearly six years earlier than you, if you remembered correctly. Said he liked teaching more than beating the shit out of people. Since he was going to be the one teaching you how to be a teacher, you were going to see firsthand if that was actually true.
Your team disembarked from the jet in a steady wave of mutants. They were the weirdest of the weird - graduates whose powers weren't optimal choices for task teams or active combat but were still “active” abilities. At its heart, your team was a squadron of people who could decimate wreckage or do something weird enough to make disposing of ickiness a little easier. You, as the leader of this squadron of weirdos, must have had the weirdest skill-set of all.
Your former team (that would take some getting used to) mingled in with the group on the airfield, hugging and high-fiving, yelling greetings and (playfully) rude comments. You stopped to greet Professor X, but that was where the fanfare for you ended. You systematically squeezed past everyone separating you from Colossus and, upon reaching him, grabbed him in a tight hug, much to his embarrassment. (He wasn’t great with public displays of affection - never had been.)
Behind them, Wade howled like a hyena.
You stepped away from Colossus, staring sheepishly at the ground, at the same time he stepped away from you. He stared at his feet, which meant that he was still pretty much staring down at you since he was a good foot and a half taller than you. You’d meant to embarrass him on purpose, not really taking into account that your face would probably turn red, too.
Colossus gave you a short once-over, almost too quickly to notice. You smoothed out the creases in your suit, feeling quite self-conscious. You hadn't thought about how you must look returning from a mission before you'd stepped off the jet - probably disheveled, a little ruffled, like you needed a good week of sleep and a hot shower. He, on the other hand, was impeccably clean in his uniform, gleaming chrome in the late morning sun and rippling with muscle. You could have drooled just looking at the line of his forearms, but he was simply too shiny to get a good look at.
He straightened up and stood up a little taller, trying to maintain a look of composure. “Welcome home!”
You tried to mirror his composure and found it to be too troublesome. You were tired and there were too many people crowding around. Wouldn't this be so much better if it were just Colossus welcoming you home instead of this unending crowd of people?
You knew it sounded forced, but you said it anyway. “I’m glad to be home for good this time!”
Colossus raised a glinting silver eyebrow. “Are you really?”
Sometimes he knew you a little too well. You couldn't truthfully tell him that you were ready to come home - just that it was time to come home. Really home - not living in a constant state of perpetually ready to leave at a moment’s notice, not waking up with the sounds of explosions or falling wreckage, not squished into a tiny box on the X-Jet or sleeping on a cot in a safehouse somewhere. You knew where your three square meals were coming from, where you would be sleeping at night when you had to wake up in the morning. You had weekends off now. Getting used to it was just going to take time.
Colossus sensed your apprehension but didn’t comment, though you could practically hear him thinking we'll talk about this later. You forced a grin. “It’s time to come home.”
“If you’re sure…” he replied, still incredulous. Yeah, he was going to make you talk about your feelings.
“I’m sure.”
He was obviously unsatisfied with your answer. “In any case, I’m glad you’re home."
Desperate to talk about anything else other than being home, you changed the subject. "Are we still meeting later?"
He'd mentioned in a mission brief that he wanted to meet to talk about your first day of teacher training. You suspected that it was more so a cover-up for his responsible adult questions about your mental health so that he could assess you before your retirement party. You appreciated that Colossus cared and made you talk about things, of course, but it didn’t change the fact that feelings were hard to talk about. Especially with him - it always seemed to be harder to show vulnerability with someone who truly cared.
He brightened. "Yes! After you settle in, of course."
"How about you come to get me after I take a nap?" you laughed. "You haven't given my room away, have you?"
"Your room is exactly as you left it," Colossus replied, just a little quieter than usual. He shifted and seemed just on the verge of saying something else, but instead, he said, "I'm sure you would rather get to bed than stay out here. Come!"
Colossus ushered you towards the mansion where everyone seemed to finally be meandering. You knew you couldn’t leave to go to your room just yet - still too many people to greet. You'd do absolutely anything to get in the shower and take a nap. Your shower sang a promise of warmth, and your bed called to you louder than any siren song, the promise of rest and safety like a hymn drifting down from your third-floor room. Maybe you could just fuck off and no one would notice...
As you stepped past the threshold of the mansion, you felt Colossus' hand on your shoulder. He leaned down close to your ear, and you fought back a shiver.
"Go. I will make an excuse for you," he said, nudging you gently towards the stairs.
You clapped your hands over your heart. "My hero."
You would swear on your life that he smiled his soft smile at that, but you'd already leapt onto the first stair and run out of sight.
Colossus was right - your room was exactly as you left it. Pillows arranged in a simple pattern at the head of the bed, navy blue comforter clean and unwrinkled. A desk was shoved into one corner, old and creaky but well-loved. An equally ancient dresser situated up against the wall, the dark wood cracking and hardware knobs oxidizing. You'd left a spare uniform on a chair next to the dresser and a stack of blankets neatly folded at the foot of your bed. Your bathroom door was wide-open, calling to you like a prayer.
You stripped down and turned on the water to let it heat up. You showered longer than you ever had, letting the scalding water beat down on your head and rinse shampoo suds out of your hair. When you were acceptably clean and shriveled up like a prune, you finally got out. The water had started to run cold anyway. You wrapped up in a towel, laid down on your bed, and before you knew it, you were out cold.
-----  -----  -----
You awoke an hour later to a knock at your door. Your hair was still wrapped up in a towel as you searched for a bathrobe (you could have sworn you left that on the chair instead of your uniform). You could pretty much guess who was at the door, so the desire to stay mostly undressed was pretty intense. Nevertheless, you covered up so that you could at least appear to be a presentable excuse for a human being.
You opened the door to find - who else - Colossus. He made a pointed effort not to stare down at you in your robe and wet hair. Not that you minded if he did. You'd have answered the door naked if you weren't afraid he'd run away.
"Sorry - just woke up."
He shifted, looking a mite uncomfortable. “I will be down in the kitchen whenever you are ready.”
You nodded, inching the door closed. “I’ll get dressed and be right down.”
Colossus started making his way down the hall. He called back over his shoulder, “I will make tea.”
“Coffee for me, please!” you called after his retreating back. You peeked out after him and watched him walk away. Man, his ass looked great in those pants.
“It will be decaf!”
“I want real coffee, Piotr!”
He might have replied to you, but you'd closed the door already. You grabbed the closest clean pair of pants and shirt that you could find. The clothes you grabbed may have been workout clothes, but after weeks and weeks of wearing your uniform, anything else was better than your uniform. And you’d make an attempt to look nice for the party tonight since everyone would be there - one person in particular, of course.
Speaking of that particular person, you scurried out of your room to join him down in the kitchen, locking your door behind you.
As you walked through the halls, you passed by the residents of the mansion milling around the dorm halls. Some you knew, but most were foreign to you. Your friends were either off on missions or had left the mansion a long time ago. Some were dead, memorialized on the walls. The few who had chosen to stay at the mansion were teachers now or stationed at a base far, far away.
The kitchen was on the first floor, just off to the side of the main hall. It had been remodeled, you remarked offhandedly as you sat down at the table. Colossus hunched over the new stove, fussing over the teakettle and a pair of mugs. The coffee pot next to him hummed and dripped black gold into the pot. Next to the coffee pot, the bag of coffee (not decaf!) was still open.
Colossus grabbed the mugs and sat down in front of you; his chair squeaked in despair but held steady. He passed your mug off to you. “I found some regular coffee you left last time you were home.”
“And here I remember you scolding me for drinking coffee so late in the afternoon,” you teased. You took a healthy sip from the scalding mug - thankfully, hot temperatures didn’t bother you (thanks, mutation). "Why the sudden change of heart?"
“I suspect that the party tonight will last much longer than anticipated,” Colossus replied, smirking. He blew on his mug of tea and took a ginger sip, grimacing. Unlike you, scalding temperatures sucked for him. “Your team makes a habit of partying until dawn.”
“Hey, we clean up dead bodies,” you said. You’d downed almost half the mug already and decided it was probably better to sip for the rest of the meeting. “Work hard, play hard.”
"They learned it from you," Colossus hummed. He sat his mug down. As suspected, he had an ~adult conversation~ planned. “You do not seem excited to be home.”
“Oh, no, I’m happy to be home,” you insisted. Your fingernails were suddenly more interesting than anything else in the room, particularly the man looking at you like a stray puppy. “It’s just hard to let go.”
“Adjusting to a less stressful situation is not easy, but you will have teaching to occupy your time and that’s certainly stressful,” Colossus agreed. His hand twitched as if he meant to stop you from peeling off your cuticles until your fingers bled, but he kept his hands on his tea mug. “And you have me - I have been through this already. Everyone in the mansion is your family, and we are all here for you.”
“I’ll adjust,” you replied shortly.
“And you know if you need to talk about it…”
“You know you’re the first person I’ll run to,” you said softly, cutting him off. You sat up straighter in your chair and took another sip of coffee. “Enough with the counseling session, today is supposed to be a happy day! Let’s talk about teaching!”
Colossus eyed you thoughtfully but conceded. “We will go over the lesson plans in detail later. You will start by teaching the middle-grades age group beginning next week. I want you to teach the little ones, but they are a bit rowdy and I don’t want to scare you away from teaching on your first day.”
“I can handle whatever you throw at me.”
“You will also be assigned a trainee,” Colossus continued. “I have not finalized who will be assigned to you, but I have a solid idea.”
“Anyone I know?”
"I do not think so," he hummed. “She arrived while you were gone last time. She has similar abilities and a similar temperament. It is likely she will be assigned to cleanup upon graduation.”
“So, I’ll be training my replacement?” you asked, eyebrows raised.
Colossus looked away, sheepish. “It was not intentional, but yes.”
“I’ll take your word for it.”
You pushed your mug away after draining the last bit of coffee. Colossus always kept a bag for you in the pantry, but you were pretty sure he didn’t know you knew. You knew you hadn’t left a bag of your regular brew behind - a bag of coffee grounds was one of the first things that went into your luggage. Hell, you’d started bringing your own coffee pot onto the X-Jet because your team would throw hands over the coffee pot. 
“I will come and check on you periodically,” Colossus said. “But I expect that you will be fine. Do you have any questions?”
You’d have questions when you actually started teaching, but you didn’t at that moment. Really, you just wanted to sit at the table and talk to him. Not about your feelings or teaching - just talking.
“No questions,” you replied. “Not about teaching, at least. You are coming to the party tonight, right?”
“I would not miss it!” Colossus said. He sat back in his chair and crossed his arms, grinning proudly. “I made the cake. And helped decorate.”
You laughed. “Of course, you did.”
“I am glad that you are home,” Colossus said simply, “and I wanted to be the one to welcome you back. Also, the cake is chocolate.”
“It’s not that protein cake stuff you made last time I was home, is it?”
“No," he smirked. "We will have plenty of time for protein cake after training tomorrow.”
You paled. “You’re not leading the workout, are you?”
Colossus could never be described as sinister. Intimidating, maybe. Scary, sometimes. But never sinister. Yet, his answering grin toed that line. “What better way to welcome you back than by leading your first workout?”
You could think of several ways to welcome you back that were better than suffering through one of Colossus’ workouts, naming locking him in your bedroom with you. You guessed that he was probably on the same page, but he wasn’t going to say it.
As long as you’d been friends, you’d been back and forth with the unspoken thing - that stupid mutual attraction that neither of you addressed because your respective lifestyles were explosive and hectic. Once Colossus had retired from missions, the unspoken thing had gotten more intense - a pining for you that you could sense without him saying it. It had gotten worse for you, too. It’s just that you weren’t ready to come home - until the day that you decided it was finally time.
Basically, last week. Damn your stubbornness.
“You’re going to run me into the ground before my first day,” you whined, though it was half-hearted.
“Tough workout is good for you!”
“Right, okay,” you replied. You stood up, grabbed both empty mugs, and marched to the sink. “I’m gonna go get ready for this wild party.”
"Leave the dishes. I'll get them."
"Too late - I beat you to it."
-----   -----   -----
You'd never seen your name written this many times. Everything had your name scrawled on it. The streamers hanging from the ceiling, resplendent black and gold, all spelled out your name and “Happy Retirement!” Your cake spelled out your name in Colossus’ careful block lettering. Even the wrapping paper on the handful of gifts in the center of the table spelled out your name (how the hell did they find that?). You really weren’t thrilled about the “retirement” part, but you could deal with it for the rest of the night.
You were greeted by a round of screaming and applause as soon as you walked down the stairs, started by none other than your own rowdy team. They'd already been drinking and had probably started as soon as the jet landed. The younger X-Men joined in, mostly just looking for a reason to cut loose and cheer. Your older friends joined in, much more subdued than the rest, but much more sincere with their claps on the back and gently pointed age jokes. Colossus’ team, headed up by the Man of Steel himself, presented you with a giant slice of cake and an even larger can of beer.
You knew your face must have been red from all the attention, but as soon as you dug into the cake and chugged half your beer, the embarrassment started to fade. The attention was awkward, but this was your party for your retirement, and damn it if you weren’t about to have a good time. You’d always enjoyed a good party, and that night was as good as any to get splendidly plastered with your team after a job well done.
You were two sheets to the wind in when Wade Wilson handed you your third can of beer. He, like most of the people in attendance, had elected to wear his uniform (you had chosen not to - you had to retire your current suit anyhow). He was wet from where he’d spilled beer all over the fake leather.
“I say we do shots after Shiny Jesus goes to bed for the night,” Wade cheered, offering his drink in a toast.
“Sounds like a plan to me!” You tapped his can in toast and took a long drink. “You’d never believe it, but he can out-drink everyone here. Shots go down for him like water.”
“You’re shitting me!”
You shook your head. Bad idea. The world spun topsy-turvy and took its sweet time before it righted itself. “Nope. I convinced Logan to smuggle me a bottle of straight vodka for my eighteenth birthday. Couple hours in, Kitty and I were puking in the corner - man, I got sick that night - and Piotr was still taking shots with frickin’ Wolverine like it was nothing.”
“That Colossus? Giant metal boy scout?” Wade stared, slack-jawed, over at Colossus, who was picking at the greens on his plate (not a single dessert in sight). “What happened? And what do I have to do to get him to cut loose like that?”
You shrugged. “If you figure it out, lemme know. I think that was the last time I’ve ever seen him do that - not that either of us has really been home long enough at the same time to party like that. He’s always been so responsible. I mean, I’m responsible too, but he’s just cut from a different cloth.”
Which was true. You had your irresponsible moments, but for the most part, you had your shit together. You couldn’t remember a time when Colossus had been anything less than poised and organized.
Wade leaned against the wall next to you. He had to be at least a full case in already. “So, uh, does he know?”
“I assume you’re talking about my feelings," you snorted. "Can’t imagine why people keep talking to me about that - it’s not like I’m an emotional disaster right now or anything. Yeah, he knows. He’s always known. It’s mutual.”
Wade paused. “And why are you not,” he gesticulated wildly, like he was working through some weird, cosmic math problem, “a thing? Like, why are you down here at this party instead of getting the Metal D?”
“Kind of hard to be a thing when you’re never home at the same time,” you replied, glancing over to where Colossus had set up camp. He was currently entertaining Professor X and a younger X-Man that you didn’t know, still stabbing at the salad on his plate. “Or only home for a couple of days at a time.”
“You know what you should do?” Wade asked, a sparkle in his eye. He chugged the last of his beer, crushed the can against his head, and tossed the garbage off into the corner.
“I have a feeling I know where this is going…”
“Sneak away, take the Tin Man upstairs, and get a real homecoming,” Wade said like it was some fantastic revelation or a particularly scandalous secret. “And if you get loud, we’ll all pretend tomorrow that it was the guy with the pigeon wings.”
You laughed. “I’m not opposed to the idea, but I’m pretty sure he’s not gonna go for that.”
“You won’t know unless you try!”
“Except I do know,” you replied, idly watching the way Colossus' muscles bulged every time he flexed his arms. “I think he thinks I’m going to run off on a mission and be gone by morning. It’s going to require finesse to show him that I’m home for good.”
“In that case,” Wade pushed off from the wall and draped his arm around your shoulders. He reeked of cheap cologne and trashy beer. “I hereby offer my services as your wingman, and hearing no objections, appoint myself to the position.”
Wade stuck out his hand for you to shake.
You peered down at his leather-bound hand. Wade was still something of an anomaly to you, but he seemed invested. Goofy and mildly annoying as he was, he obviously meant well. Maybe it wouldn’t hurt to have a little help…
You took his hand and shook. “It’s a deal.”
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mage-cat · 5 years ago
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First Steps Home - Plan? What Plan?
The Rebellion sends a team to rescue Glimmer only for the team to discover that they are now part of an escape plan already in motion.
Part 2 of the Mending Bridges series. Start from the beginning here.
Story under the cut. ~1900 words. Link to AO3 through here.
Mara’s ship wasn’t designed to carry a large crew. That meant to when the Rebellion went to rescue Glimmer, it had to be a bare-bones strike team. Bow and Entrapta were the only ones who had any confidence with new tech on the fly, something Prime’s ship was sure to have in abundance, and Adora would be there to lead them.
Bow, who had taken up piloting duties, had been waiting for Adora to let him in on the details of the plan, figuring that something in Adora’s training--either with the Horde or Light Hope--had given her insight into what they needed to do to at least begin the rescue. He began to feel uneasy as the ship announced that they had left Etheria’s atmosphere and he still had no idea what the next step would be after finding Horde Prime’s ship.
“Um, Adora? How does a spaceship sneak up on another spaceship?”
“How much different can it be to little boat sneaking up on a big boat?”
Bow gestured at a relevant display. “We’re using tech to find Horde Prime’s ship. Isn’t it likely that he has tech that can see us the same way?”
A voice came from somewhere embedded in the ship’s controls. “Message incoming. Would you care to answer?”
Adora froze for a moment before responding, “I guess, yes.”
The ship’s largest screen was filled with a pale face, the eyes green from edge to edge. “You must be the delegation we were told to expect. Please, proceed to the docking bay. We will inform Queen Glimmer to meet you. Please, leave all weapons on your ship.” The voice was bland and clearly assumed there could be no other explanation for who they were as the face disappeared from the screen as soon as the last word was uttered.
“Was that Hordak?” Bow asked.
“No,” said Entrapta with certainty. “Hordak’s a clone, but one Horde Prime considered... nonstandard. At a guess, I would say that was an example of a more typical result of the cloning process.”
“I wonder how many of those Prime keeps around,” Adora said.
The com screen began to display a map directing their ship to the mentioned docking bay. As they flew closer, the view of the ever-growing ship began to be overwhelming. Only in space could something be so big and still move.
“I don’t like the idea of leaving our weapons behind,” Bow said.
“They said Glimmer would be there to meet us,” Adora replied. “I’m hoping our luck improves and we’ll be able to just grab her and leave.”
“I don’t think the odds of that are very good,” said Entrapta.
---
Whatever hope they had of the mission being simple died when they saw exactly who was meeting them when they got off the ship. Glimmer was there, and she was standing, back straight in her most regal posture, at Horde Prime’s right hand.
He addressed her while never looking away from the new arrivals. “Queen Glimmer, would you inform me of who I will be dealing with?”
Glimmer’s voice was nearly as bland as the earlier clone’s had been as she said, “Horde Prime, these are Adora, She-Ra of Etheria and Administrator of the technical systems that run throughout the planet, Bow of the Makers’ Guild, and Entrapta of Dryl, two the Etheria’s brightest technical minds. Entrapta is also the eldest of the Etherian royals whose realms have had dealings with the Horde. All of them have held leadership positions equal to my own in the Rebellion.”
He focused on the purple-haired woman. “Would this be the same Entrapta that my wayward clone was so intrigued by?”
“Yes, Horde Prime, the same,” Glimmer answered. Adora motioned towards the ship. Glimmer gave a tiny shake of her head and spoke again. “Sire, I would not presume to tell you what to do, but I will vouch for Entrapta’s good behavior while she is here and advise you that treating her differently from the rest of the delegation might prolong the process they are here for. Might I take them to my quarters for a briefing before we discuss negotiations?”
“You may.”
Glimmer approached the three and held her arms out in front of her. “I suggest we go the quick way.” They all knew what that was a cue for.
---
One teleport later Glimmer’s face broke into a grin. “How was my performance?”
Bow hugged her. “Unnerving!”
“I’ve been getting tutoring in placating megalomaniacs.” After returning the hug for a moment, she stepped back. “He thinks you’re here to negotiate surrender by the way.”
Before any of them could properly react to that, a delighted version of Hordak’s voice came from a gray blur descending from somewhere near the ceiling. “Entrapta!”
“Imp!” Entrapta cried as she caught the creature.
He opened his mouth, releasing a gentle female voice. “You’re safe here.” The voice twisted into sarcasm, causing the faces of the three to shift in recognition. “Prime’s been magnanimous and promised us our privacy”
“Hey, Adora.” The same voice came from a previously unnoticed corner of the room, now attached to its original source. “Bow.” Catra hesitated. “Entrapta.”
Adora began to launch herself at her, but Glimmer’s arm across her chest brought her up short.
“Stop. We would all be dead right now if it wasn’t for Catra.”
“You trust people too easily when you think they’re useful.”
“I trust my truth spells.”
“After everything she’s done?”
“She can help get my mother back. The way things went down with the portal, she knows things no one else does.” Glimmer paused as if considering if she should say the next thing. “While under the truth spell, she also said my dad’s alive.”
Bow and Adora exchanged a meaningful look, and he said, “He was on Beast Island. He’s holding down the fort at Bright Moon now. He and Shadow Weaver have a history, so he’s confined her to her room unless she’s being supervised by at least one person capable of magic.”
“Thank goodness. It saves me the trouble.”
Adora’s face hardened again. “I thought you were enjoying being Shadow Weaver’s new favorite.”
“Maybe I wouldn’t have gotten so cozy with her if, instead of vaguely talking about how evil she was, you had given me some concrete examples. You know, like the fact that she had tortured children in front of you!”
“She had tortured you!”
“She didn’t do it for over a decade starting from when I was six!”
“Sparkles,” Catra broke in. “I appreciate what you’re doing, but is this the time?”
Glimmer took a steadying breath. “No, it’s not.” She turned to face Catra properly. “Think we can get the plan to work now?”
“Best chance we’re ever going to get. Entrapta, I am so glad you are alive.”
Entrapta clutched Imp closer. “No thanks to you.”
Catra bit her lip. “I thought you were turning into my enemy, and I panicked. Only an idiot would underestimate you and the damage you could do to someone if you thought you had to. I’m sorry. It would have been smarter for me to try to stay on your good side. I want to hear your theories on some things.”
Her grip on Imp relaxed a fraction. “Your potential data on the portal tech is intriguing...”
“Portal later. I promise. We need your theories on something more pressing.” Catra held out her hand, and a glowing amber orb the size of her fist began to hover above it. “How am I suddenly doing this? Could the Heart be drawing energy from more than just the planet? Could it be pulling magic from the people?”
Entrapta leaned toward the light. “Fascinating. That would explain the metric I couldn’t make sense of.” She looked up at Catra’s face “On Beast Island, there was a First Ones database, including a bunch of profiles for potential colonist species. Biological requirements, potential for dissent against imperial rule if allowed to remain on their home planets, and this one calculation that could have been how effectively they could power the Heart.”
“We know releasing all of the Heart’s energy the way it was designed would be bad, but could we return that energy back to the people?”
“I would have to take a closer look at the Heart, or at least its schematics.”
“Wait,” Adora said. “The Heart is doing what?”
Catra turned to her, the sphere of light disappearing.“Short version. Best that we can tell? Magic should be way more common in the Etherian population than it is. Anyone on the surface gets drained of their power the same way the magic of the planet itself gets collected.”
Glimmer continued. “That’s probably why Mystacor is airborne. The Princesses still have some of our magic because we are connected to the Heart through the Runestones.”
“Just some of your magic?” Entrapta asked.
“Oh yeah.” Glimmer moved her cape to one side. Her wings--which, like Queen Angella’s, were always more like solid energy that matter--still didn’t match the majestic sweep of her mother’s, but she wouldn’t be readily hiding them under a shirt again either. “I have definitely been running at a lower charge than I should have been.”
Catra spoke again. “Alright. We have a plan of action once we get back to the planet. Now to get out of here and over there.”
“Right,” said Glimmer. “Bow, Entrapta, Catra will lead you to do some industrial sabotage and, if we’re lucky, a little theft. Adora, you and I are going to go hit some things very hard. We can talk on the way.”
“Why can’t we just teleport to the ship and leave?” Adora asked.
Catra answered, “We try that and Prime will just use his transporter tech to beam us back here, and he won’t be near as polite afterwards. Hence the sabotage.”
“Why are you doing this?”
“I don’t trust any authority higher than my own, and Horde Prime thinks he is the highest authority in the universe.”
“Makes sense to me,” said Entrapta.
Adora glared at the person she had once called her best friend. “I’ll be watching you.”
“Not until Sparkles takes you to the rendezvous point.”
As the shimmer of Glimmer and Adora teleporting away faded, Catra turned to her new teammates. “Alright, first step is to see if we can steal ourselves a clone. Hordak thought conquering a planet would impress Horde Prime, but the only thing Prime is ever impressed with is himself. He doesn’t like his clones being people. As soon as we were on the ship he put Hordak under… I don’t think it was a mindwipe. I think it was a personality suppressor or something. If anyone can wake him up,” she pulled something out of a pocket and pressed it into Entrapta’s hand, “it’s you.” It was the crystal Entrapta had used to power the armor she had made for Hordak. “He was really broken up about it when he thought you had betrayed him. When he found out I had lied about that, he tried very hard to kill me for it. I may not understand what you two have going on, but I understand that it’s important to you two.”
Bow said, “So step one of your plan is...”
The look on Catra’s face said she couldn’t quite believe what she was about to say either. “To save Hordak.”
Next Chapter: Saving Who? >
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jaybirbmoved · 4 years ago
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Jason Todd’s Age
So, as of DC Rebirth, Jason is supposedly twenty years old. 
Of course on my blog I like to dismiss most of the finer canon details while keeping the story lines, filling them in with my own shit, because I can. I know their ages keep getting changed and the timeline is made shorter and shorter because they want to keep Bruce like, 40 years old forever, but that’s stupid too (if you want him to be spry and young you could just point to all the mystical bullshit he’s been involved in as a reason why he’s not age while his kids are, but whatever). 
On my blog, there are the ages I generally use: Dick is 25-ish, Jason is between 20-22, Tim is 17-19, and Damian who has actually been shown celebrating birthdays is between 10-13 depending on the comic. As blog default I make Jason chronologically 23, and I periodically update his ‘birth year’ to keep up with that, which... should probably remove that altogether because the comics are so all over the place there’s no point in giving any of them a year of birth.
Anyways, back to the main point of this.
The more I think about it, the more I realize that there’s no way in hell that Jason would/could look his actual age. DC insists on trying to cram ten years worth of storyline into a three year period, but since Jason was brought back into the main comic continuity in 2010, a lot has happened. I call bullshit on him having been Robin, died, come back, taken over Gotham’s criminal underground, formed two separate teams and had half a dozen clashes with the family before getting on good terms with them again, been part of Batman Inc, all in less than six years, that’s just fucking dumb. 
Even ignoring the fact that my personal canon for him a mash up of Post-Crisis origins and the current New-52/Rebirth continuity, it wouldn’t make sense for Jason to be 20. For starters, Post-Crisis Jason Todd died when he was 15, this is undisputed due to it being mentioned a few times. It says he 
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According to his death certificate, it was April during Death In The Family (assuming Bruce didn’t take a while to forge a cover story for his death and he actually was killed earlier than that). Jason’s birthday is in August, meaning he died roughly four months before his sixteenth birthday. According to the end of Under The Hood, Superboy’s punch altered reality and Jason woke up in his coffin six months after his death. For the sake of argument, we’ll say it was exactly six months.
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This means he woke up on October 26th, roughly 2.10 months after he was supposed to turn sixteen. During that time, he obviously couldn’t mentally or physically age while dead. He spends about a year comatose, a little under a year as a homeless amnesiac after waking up from the coma, and then another year with Talia as she tries to get him to recover from his brain injury. Chronologically he would have been around 18 when Talia shoved him into the Lazarus Pit, which seems about right. So minus the six months he spent dead, that means he’s about seventeen and a half physically speaking, and still 15 mentally/emotionally due to his development being stunted by trauma.
Now, we know the Lazarus Pit can cure diseases, heal injuries, and also resurrect the dead. However, it was mainly used by Ra’s Al Ghul, before learning of it’s full abilities, to de-age him, hence being considered the origins of the ‘fountain of youth’ in the DC universe. Apparently, the longer you stay in the younger you get (also if a young and healthy person went into the Pit they would die and/or be driven insane).
Given Talia literally shoved him in because she was pressed for time and needed to heal him and get out before Ra’s flipped his shit (and BOY did he ever), I would say Jason was submerged for 30 seconds to 1 minute. This is just guessing on my part. But if less than five minutes can make Ra’s go from being in his seventies to his mid-twenties, I’d say it’s fairly plausible for Jason to have gone into the Pit as a 17/18 year old and come out looking fifteen or sixteen.
Which, if you look at flashbacks of New 52 Jason after Talia has healed him (or restored from the dead in that continuity) he looks far too young to be 19 as he supposedly was then. Here’s some images of him from RHATO, when he was training with the mystical cult the All-Caste, whom Talia left him with.
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He looks like he’s a goddamn fourteen year old on steroids.
For simplicity sake, although he is chronologically 18 years old at this point, the Lazarus Pit + not age while dead has left him physically at 15-16, with his mental age around the same because, again, he had brain damage and no opportunity to mature while dead/comatose/catatonic.
He spends a couple years mimicking Batman’s world tour to learn martial arts and disciplines, eventually returning to Gotham as the Red Hood when he’s… 19? 20? They never actually say since comic books like foggy timelines. Yet despite being a grown man now, he’s still physically in his late teens. Here’s Jason when confronting Batman in UtH, holding Joker hostage and ready to kill him.
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Flash forward a couple years later in real time (unknown amount of time in-universe) where he’s now more or less on amicable terms with the Bat family, even if they aren’t all lovey-dovey and Sunday night dinners together. If Damian is at least 12-13 (he’s had a birthday recently in the comics) and Tim is 18-19. that puts Jason at about 22-23.
But he looks like he could be a college sophomore.
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^ Set recently, during Red Hood and the Outlaws Rebirth.
But yeah, while Jason’s mind has more or less recovered from all the trauma he’s been through - mostly thanks to working through pretty much every single moment of his past that he can remember with his therapist​, Jason no longer has that emotionally stunted/underdeveloped mind that he did after waking from the dead.
However, he still spent 6 months dead during the time most boys typically have their final growth spurt, and was then submerged in a youth-restoring chemical bath.
I’d say though he’s chronologically in his mid-twenties at this point, to other people Jason would have the physical appearance of a 20 year old. So he is physically the age that DC claims, but in terms of how many years it’s been since he was born, he’s 23, for anyone confused about why there’s different ages in his bio.
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monkey-network · 5 years ago
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Good Stuff's Best of 2019
WARNING: Just wanted to say cheers to you for making it through another year. I send you best wishes for next year to be fruitful. Thank you, take care out there, and enjoy. (Best of 2017) (Best of 2018)
Dedicated to Russi Taylor, John Witherspoon, Rip Torn, Tartar Sauce, Caroll Spinney, Peter Matthews, and the many of KyoAni lost in the arson incident. You all did wonderful; rest in peace.
Welp, I figured the last year of this decade would be the most chaotic one by far, then again everything peak after 2012. As for now, I am counting down the best cartoons/animations/comics I’ve seen and loved this year in no particular order other than #1. Same rules apply: No sneak previews of future projects, no repeats, and this time anything goes.
Runner Ups: Superman Smashes the Klan, Marvel’s Aero, Infinity Train, Enter the Florpus, Amphibia, Mao Mao: Heroes of Pure Heart, Helluva Boss, Meta Runner, Lego Movie 2, Forky Asks a Question
Anyways, Badda boom bang whiz, let’s do this shizz...
10. Super Mario Bros GT
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Nostalgia can be quite a mystery, especially one that can come out of nowhere. Super Mario Bros Z kicked so much ass as a kid that now, it still frustrates me to this that it got a cease & desist from Nintendo, even the reboot from the same person couldn’t last long. But the gods have offered a slight miracle in the form of this new spiritual successor that has heart and soul put into every pixelated frame. There is much to celebrate with Youtube animation, where many say it’s dying due to the algorithm and all of the site’s corporate bullshit, but it’s stuff like this which helps me understand why we should celebrate. Against all odds, channels like Smasher Block willfully put their works out their for the people and continues to because on top of getting a little dough, it’s what they want to do.
9. DC SUPER HERO GIRLS (2019)
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Awwwwww yeah, this is She-Ra and the Princesses of Power done right. Diverse female squad, each given a quality screen time to truly shine (Beecher especially) on their which makes the episodes where they’re all together feel earned and joyous to watch. Certainly reminds me of Friendship is Magic, which is coincidental since they were created by the same woman. I’d like to think this and MLP G4 were the answers to Faust’s cancelled project Milky Way and the Galaxy Girls where multiple personalities collide to one extraordinary superhero team of girls capable great feats that are lifted from their insecurities or drawbacks. And on top of this being a fun series to kick back to all around, it’s a comforting, somewhat aspiring thought to consider.
8. JOKER
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I am somebody that rarely goes to the theaters to watch a film; you have to hook my tight just for me to even think of buying a ticket, no less plan to. But honestly, Joker was worth the hype, the ticket, and the fact that it wasn’t the incel uprising that buttfuck normies tried to make it out as. It’s lower on the list because in thought, there definitely could’ve been some tweaks to the dialogue and a couple scenes that I felt didn’t work in the long run. But really, this movie to me worked because of the escalation that leads to a cathartic climax and ending that left me in actual tears. I don’t give a shit if it “doesn’t fit”, having Frank Sinatra sing the film's credits put me in shambles. Joaquin Phoenix was phenomenal as Arthur, and this movie felt authentic in its many details. This is definitely up there with my favorite comic book films of all time. Good thing, too, Spider-Man was taking up most of that shelf.
7. TUCA & BERTIE
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This series being what I can’t help but say is a spin-off to Bojack Horseman, a show I respect, was enough to pull me into watching it. But it being like Bojack where it’s tight-roping between a bouncy comedy and a grounded drama was what kept me around for more. It is a damn shame this was cancelled after one season (while 13 Reasons Why gets FOUR seasons like what the fuck), because while this did feel enough like a complete series, I was certainly interested for more because I really enjoyed it all. I have my issue with a couple choices in the show, but I am sure this series would’ve addressed them later down the line. I can see why some women would find this personally endearing, it felt like the personal stories of actual people, and it deserved better. Either way, I enjoyed this series and I recommend it just as much as Bojack.
6. PRIMAL
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Genndy Tartakovsky is that kind of cartoon creator where you feel he’ll go beyond if you give him the right amount of space. He’s not a perfectionist like John “Dirty Diddler” Kricfalusi, but with things like Hotel Transylvania and Samurai Jack, he certainly has proven to have the range in animation where you know how he plays. Primal showcasing his noted skill in dialogue-less storytelling and dynamic action scenes, able to convey everything clear with its ruthless yet careful protagonist and his dinosaur friend, all on top of the most luscious backgrounds. This is a series that definitely feels like Genndy’s taken what he’s used from his previous works and putting it together for a brutal yet passionate look at the prehistoric life. He truly brought us an adult series to enjoy and to look forward to more in the coming year.
5. SPINEL
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Bet you didn’t expect a character to be on this list, eh? Spinel is the best thing to come out of Steven Universe in general; makes me wish she was in a better movie. The crew certainly did their darndest to make her not only an enjoyable and connectable character through and through, but a very versatile character that the fandom could take in any which way. Call it corny, but Spinel perfectly represents SU as a whole: a lovable goof that can certainly mean business but deep down is deserved of a hug because of what she’s gone through. Wish she had a more satisfying resolution in her respective debut, but really it’s the balance between those three elements mentioned that makes Spinel almost eternally wonderful.
4. MOB PSYCHO 100 II
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As someone that doesn’t like reading, I’m a firm believer that the best animations or visual medias elevate the writing to a memorable degree; the visuals hook to the point where you want to think about what you saw and how it was conveyed. Mob Psycho 100, for two seasons now, does this in spades where Studio Bones throw them bones in animating one of the most dynamic animes of the modern era, providing the writing and characters a proper chance to flex its muscles. The characters are especially what makes this and MP100 as a whole work so well, the story being about a boy learning to be more sociable as well as emotionally stronger all while helping others understand maturity and empathy. For more on this, I recommend Hiding in Public’s video(s) on Mob. But with the animation, Bones was able to provide a sense of impact and immersion to the moments that matter, not making it an overstimulating mess, and putting some respect on ONE’s webcomic art style. 
3. KLAUS
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Hands down, this is a great Christmas movie. Take away the animation and you have a charming, wanna say ground and authentic, story about the makings of Santa Claus. With memorable and likable characters, a nice escalation in terms of the plot, and moments that are/can be so satisfying, they can bring you to tears. A couple overdone tropes in the road that doesn’t make this the most perfected story, but those sincerely minor compared to everything else that makes this story the best. Now. Add in the animation, and you have a gold, nay a platinum animated story of the year where the visuals definitely enhance the story to a degree where they’re undoubtedly inseparable. The visuals alone is enough to check this movie out and it’s eye-opening when you learn of how it’s all done. Klaus is a film that did it’s job and then some, and I hope this will be well remembered as a classic holiday film for it deserves that status.
2. BEASTARS
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I’ll be fair, I’m mostly referring to the manga and not the anime but since the anime premiered this fall, it counts. Because be it the anime or the series overall, Beastars has such well intricate world building all while offering a little something for everyone (violence, romance, slice of life). The story is well paced and even when we aren’t focusing on the main characters momentarily, Itagaki is surprisingly able to make every supporting/side character we come across memorable in their own way; like I said before, the city is much a character in this story. Oh yeah, and the mangaka is the daughter of Keisuke “Grappler Baki” Itagaki, that in itself is a treasuring bit of trivia for this. Everything about Beastars is enticing and Studio Orange certainly helped in giving this series more of a following.
1. GREEN EGGS & HAM
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Well, well, well. Guess Netflix is three for three in terms of bringing its best foot forward among its few steps back each year. The best term to describe this series is surprising. Surprising that this is a Dr. Seuss story that got expanded a 13 episode series, that has fleshed out characters, fun hijinks, an easy story, lovely emotional, more quieter moments... on top of being 2D hand drawn animated. I mean, what else is there to say? Green Eggs and Ham is to Dr. Seuss what Seven was for Final Fantasy, what Friendship is Magic was for MLP, what watermelon was before a nice menthol cigarette. This definitely took the top spot because to me, it was able to bring many good elements from the previous entries and knot it all together into a well kept bow that I never knew I wanted until now. I’m genuinely glad this show got to exist the way it is and I am hoping, praying, that the second season keeps that momentum up.
That leads us to the actual number one which is
1. STEVEN UNIVERSE FUT-
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Total Dramarama is now the two time World Heavyweight Champion, babey. Will 2020 give us a quality contender? Will the streak last another year?
Stay tuned, and always seek out the Good Stuff.
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captainkippen · 6 years ago
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across the hall • part two
tyrus college au! read part one here
TJ punches through the air with a joyful fist as Reed closes the door and rounds on him with an exasperated expression.
“Look, you finally got what you wanted. Does this mean we can stop pissing off all our neighbours now? ‘Cause I’d kind of like to survive long enough to make it to sophomore year and I can’t do that if we get killed by an angry mob before the year ends.”
It’s been about two months since they started college and just under that since TJ first saw Cyrus Goodman moving in across the hall and promptly fell in love with him. Well, not quite love. They haven’t actually had a proper conversation yet, but he’s the cutest guy he’s ever seen in his life maybe and he definitely wants to see if they could start anything that might possibly have the potential to lead to love in the future. Consequently, it’s been just under two months since Reed agreed to help TJ gets Cyrus’ attention - a feat that turned out to be much more difficult than either of them had anticipated - and since they’d started coming up with increasingly ridiculous ways to do so.
The problem they’ve been facing when it comes to Cyrus is a combination of multiple factors, the chief one being that in the first couple of weeks Reed and TJ had bumped into Cyrus and his friends at a bar. Cyrus had already been two sheets to the wind when TJ tried to introduce himself and TJ had also managed to get so nervous he’d just ended up sort of squeaking at him and running away. He couldn’t talk to him, even with Reed hyping him up to do it.
It’s kind of hard to get somebody’s attention when you can’t even speak to them.
Then there is also the issue that Cyrus never actually seems to be around when TJ was. According to Iris, one of the girls from down the hall who knew Cyrus and is in Reed’s art history class, he pretty much switches between practically living in the library and gorging himself on baby taters at the diner down the street. The last time TJ and Reed went to the library they’d ended up getting kicked out because they were unable to control their giggling. They are not library people.
It was actually Lester, Reed’s orientation buddy, who had come up with a solution they could all agree on. Cyrus must come back to the dorms to sleep, right? So it would make sense for him to come over and knock on their door if, say… they were being too loud? Just to ask them to be quiet. Then TJ could apologise and strike up a conversation and they could all skip off happily into the sunset.
Obviously, it didn’t go quite as planned. The first night they tried it, instead of Cyrus they had been faced down by his roommate Jonah Beck. Jonah had been pretty easygoing at first, but Reed being Reed couldn’t help but be a bit of a tool. Jonah’s cute and Reed’s approach to flirting is… well, stupid is the best way TJ can describe it if he’s honest. It hadn’t taken him long to rile Jonah up and it had ended in an argument that attracted the attention of their extraordinarily grumpy RA. It goes without saying that the plan was not successful.
However, Lester insisted they not abandon it. They tried it again a week later and ended up meeting Buffy Driscoll, another neighbour of theirs with a much lower tolerance level for bullshit than Jonah Beck.
The next time they had a disagreement with Buffy and Jonah wasn’t even an attempt to get Cyrus’ attention, it was just that Reed and TJ had a couple of the boys from the lacrosse team over and they were being a lot louder than they realised. It was the start of an ongoing hallway feud that they’d probably feel bad about if it weren’t for the fact that Buffy had a small streak of vengeance in her soul and at some point had snuck into the laundry room and dyed Reed’s underwear pink.
Maturity is overrated, they all seem to have decided.
“Oh, please,” TJ shoots back. “You love arguing with them. You think it’s funny.”
He knows he’s right. Reed knows he’s right. Everyone else in the room knows he’s right.
“Look, you got him to come over, you showed him you’re not a completely unreasonable loser, please just find a less noisy way to get his attention. I wanna be able to study too,” Reed sighs.
“Ugh, fine. But you have to help me.”
“Well, duh. That was a given. Your flirting is tragic. You’d crash and burn without a wingman. You’re lucky you have us guys, to be honest.”
“That’s not true!”
“Oh, it totally is,” Lester chimes in without even looking up from where he’s losing to Walker at Halo. “I love you man but you have no idea how to talk to guys you like. Remember that time at the party across the quad, when you saw a cute guy in a pats t-shirt and you thought it was a good idea to start an argument with him about Tom Brady?”
“Yeah, well Tom Brady sucks,” TJ grumbles. Reed throws an empty Starbucks cup at his head.
“I have an idea,” Walker says. They all look at him. He continues to destroy Lester’s character on screen. “Aren’t you helping set up gay club’s next social?”
“It’s LGBTQ+ Society,” TJ says.
“I respect that but I don’t have time to say it out loud every time we discuss it. And we discuss it a lot.”
“It’s a bit of a mouthful to say,” Lester agrees.
“Anyway,” Walker continues. “It’s the Winter Ball, right? Invite him and his friends to that. Make it like a truce thing… a peace treaty almost.”
“You really think that would work?”
“No,” Reed says. “I think Driscoll and Beck would eat us before they hung out with us.”
TJ can tell Walker is rolling his eyes even without looking at him. “Yes. They’re nice people. The ball is for a good cause. They’re pretty cool, you guys. You just wouldn’t know because you haven’t actually made an effort to talk to them like normal human beings. Did you know Buffy’s on the track team? And the girl’s basketball team. You might actually get along if you tried. Plus, it also gives you an excuse to talk to Cyrus. Instead of stalking him like a creep. As you’ve been doing for the past two months.”
TJ nudges him in the shoulder with his foot. “It’s not stalking! He lives across the hall from us!”
“Why’re you on his Facebook page so much then when you’re not even friends?”
“Because,” he defends himself slowly, trying to think of a good reason. “One day I’m going to send him a friend request. Probably.”
“You could literally just do that now, it’s not a big deal.”
“It is a big deal! Facebook isn’t like Twitter or Insta, you can’t just follow a random guy. You have to know them.”
“You’re ridiculous.”
TJ sighs. “I know.”
“Okay, then it’s settled,” Walker says. “When you next see one of the two-oh-two gang, ask them to the Winter Ball. And be nice about it. Reed, you too.”
“Why me? I’m not trying to date any of them.”
Lester snorts. “Oh please, as if you’re not totally into Jonah Beck.”
“I’m not!”
TJ tunes out the ensuing bickering match and focuses on strategising a game plan. Walker’s right, he has to make an actual move if he wants to get anywhere with getting to know Cyrus. He’s going to invite him to the Winter Ball. He’s going to have an actual conversation with him. Then, he’s going to woo the hell out of Cyrus Goodman.
He just needs to figure out how to do that.
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darkspellmaster · 6 years ago
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Costume designs and the role of the Skirt in the Modern Female Hero.
With recent discussions over costumes in regard to not only She-ra but in the past few years in regard to Wonder Woman and several other prominent female heroes, I wanted to step back and take a look at why a skirt, in a lot of cases, is actually a better option for a fight then say a very tight leather outfit. 
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I had this discussion with my male friend who had just started to read Wonder Woman with the New 52 and he asked why it was that people were upset over the redesign with the pants. My answer at the time was, they look like jeans, you can’t really fight well in jeans designed like that. They will rip and tear, and she is a warrior and shouldn’t have to be restricted by what’s on her legs for moving. A skirt or shorts would work better for her. 
He at the time replied that she should wear pants. We went back and forth for a while until I brought up the fact that having a lady wear a skirt isn’t meaning she’s a weaker fighter, skirts are actually less restrictive for movement and one of the reasons why the Romans and the Greeks wore them into battle, along with the Scots who wore kilts. The idea of the skirt as a  worn by a warrior predates a lot of modern conceptions as women and men wore the style when fighting. Lets we forget that part of the idea of armor during the time of the knights was because of the newer weapons that had supplanted the bronze age swords of the period with harder steel weapons, so they needed more to protect them than the light armor and leather that they were wearing. 
However this idea of the skirt still stuck around regarding fashion for women, because, well, people like legs (although for a long period showing any legs off was a bad idea). Women, and men, in the entertainment world tended at the time to stick to shorts and it was shown in how Strong men were used for the Superhero look (see DC and Marvel with the outside underwear) while ladies like Wonder Woman were given more of a swimsuit/athletic look. Now the change to this started around the time of the whole issue with the Comic book Panic that came about because of the book Seduction of the innocent came out and freaked people out about various things in comics. Women at this time were wearing skirts, though they were limited. 
This changed by the 1950s to Female heroes wearing skirts to show their feminine side. The idea had always been there that women could wear make up and look “dolled up” in comics way back in the days of Wonder Woman, because she wore make up all the damn time in the stories. Also a number of the female heroes were Girls, and seen as well teens and children. The reason being that girls in the period wore skirts. It was pretty much ordered by the schools that girls had to wear skirts at the time. It was the 50s. Into the 1960s things changed and you saw skirts replaced with pants, shorts and in some cases the start of the bathing suit look. The trend continued into the 1970s, and some what in the 1980s where the suits changed some, but were mostly one piece swim wear for the most part for costumes of some characters. It really wasn’t until the 1990s that you saw this “Overly sexy” look come about and I can point to the shift being by the late 1980s you had a lot of cheese cake showing up in movies, so to drive sales of comics (which the industry screwed up on it’s own) a lot of artist started to turn to making women look more desirable and wearing less. You can kind of thank Image Comics for a lot of that as well. 
So why talk about any of that? Well to give an idea of where the skirts came from. Most heroes that wear skirts were invented in the 1950s and the look was popular among the female population. So of course you would have the characters in books wearing skirts. This never though replaced the fact that they were strong and independent characters that had their own villains to fight and later on allowed for newer female characters to come in and stand out as leads. 
By the way for those that think that a strong character can’t wear a skirt and still kick butt, well here are a few characters that do wear skirts and are seen as iconic, independent and strong females that have inspired both men and women in all walks of life. 
Starting with Super Girl. 
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Kara Kent, or Kara Zor-el is as strong as her cousin Clark and can pretty much take on anyone he can. She has the same set of powers that he does, and one version of her later became Power Girl who, depending on the writer, can in some cases lift twice as much as he can. She also almost single handed beat the Anti-moniter. 
Marvel Girl -aka Jean Gray
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Early costumes for Jean was this green piece after graduation. Her reason for it came down to her wanting to look different than the other members of her team and fashionable as well. She is, bar Xavier, arguably the strongest mutant on the planet with her mental capabilities, and has been shown to have so much power that the Phoenix force stayed with her for many many years after the first Saga finished. 
Mary Marvel
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Mary is the sister of Billy Baston, aka Captain Marvel aka Shazam. Like her brother when she calls down on the power of Shazam she can become Mary Marvel, who is just as strong and powerful as her brother, and blessed by the gods. This girl can do what her brother can, and, on top of all of that, has proven to be able to go toe to toe with Super Girl and Power Girl in recent years. She is a force to be reckoned with. (And Ignore the Black Mary Marvel stuff that Johns wrote for Countdown it made no sense.) 
Flamebird aka Bette Kane
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The niece of Kate Kane, Elizabeth “Bette” Kane started her career as a wanna be side kick and a fan of Robin. She grew to be as good a fighter as her aunt, and pre -52, she ended up becoming a teacher who was a strong detective in her own right. Her Aunt has taught her various forms of martial arts and the two train together as Bette intended to become a person that could protect others the way that she saw Robin (Dick Grayson) protect people during his tenure. 
Bomshell version of Batwoman
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Basically Kate Kane as a baseball player and wears the outfit that her team wears when she fights. It’s pretty much all the awesomeness of Kate Kane but just wearing a female baseball uniform worn in the 1940s. 
Ms. Marvel aka Kamala Khan
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While technically considered a tunic, the top part of Ms. Marvel’s outfit is considered a dress and can be worn as such. Kamala added the tights and other aspects because of her preference for dressing. However, yes that is a dress she has on. Also let’s not forget how powerful she is and how cool she can be even when geeking out. See her meeting with Wolverine for the first time. 
The Sailor Senshi
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When Naoko Takeuchi first created this group of girls she had one thing on her mind. Sentai. You know, Power Rangers. But she wanted to use fashion as it is one of her passions. So she created these strong girls who grow as the series goes on, but every one of them wears an outfit that is recognizable to the female population in Japan, that of the school girl uniform. Yes the skirts are short, but that allows for their movement and is part of the Sentai look of uniformity with color co-ordination. Also did I mention that Sailor Moon literally saved Earth and everyone from a darkness by the power of her love for it, and killed parts of Chaos, an entity that has existed since the dawn of time. Yeah, girls in school skirts can crush monsters. 
Jun from Gachaman
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Jun, or princess if you go by BoTP, is one of the strongest fighters of the Gachaman team. Her skills as a master of  Kagaku Ninpo allow her to use her aglity to create powerful kicks and hits on her enemies. She also uses a Yo-yo as a whip and flail and it’s electric. 
Wonder Woman aka Princess Diana, Diana Prince
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Do I even need to talk about her? I think not. 
Xena Warrior Princess
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Played by Lucy Lawless until the early 2000s, Xena was a huge character, powerful and full of compassion. After being a battle hardened character who at one point was an enemy of Hercules, she later went on to spin off on her own show and became not only a mother, but also was seen as a gay icon for many women and men. 
The Female lead in Assassin’s Creed Odyssey. 
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A Spartan by birth, our canonical lead here, as said by the development team and the books, sports the same fashion as her non cannon male counter part. 
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Both run around in a skirt and are warriors trained by birth to do battle with the forces that are causing issues for their people. 
Chun li Street fighter
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One of the oldest Video game heroines. Chun Li is an interpol agent and has many awards under her belt. A known master of various martial arts, she also is a sharp shooter. Her outfit is that of a Chinese  qipao, a type of dress made popular in the 1920s, which she wears in honor of her late mother, and which she modified for movement. 
So with that in mind I would like to Add She-Ra to this list of Bad -ass females that wear skirts when fighting. 
She-Ra aka Princess Adora
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With a strong sense of morality, the same strength as her brother when he’s in He-man form, and the skills with a sword and a gun, (and a strong jaw line to boot) She-Ra fights in a war that has nothing to do with her directly and left home to help her friends in the Rebellion. Her transformation is much like that of Mary Marvel, in that she calls down the power from Gray Skull and becomes a more powerful version of herself capable of fighting off Hordak and his evil Horde. 
So, with that in mind. Anyone else know of any bad-ass female characters that wear skirts?  
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sage-nebula · 6 years ago
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@em-exceeds-change-zearu --- Hope you don’t mind, but I wanted to respond to your tags in a new post since the original post was long enough as it was, haha!
#also i love all of these picks and the thought that went into them #and that he has a varied team that's flexible and can take on tons of things #ALSO I'M GLAD YOU DIDN'T MENTION ZEKROM #I WAS DREADING A RED EYES BLACK DRAGON REDUX WITH ZEKROM #(even if zekrom and reshiram are huge walking red eyes and blue eyes jokes) 
See, it’s because I put a lot of thought into it that I didn’t mention Zekrom! Zekrom doesn’t work for the Red-Eyes Black Dragon at all (and ditto for Reshiram with the Blue-Eyes White Dragon)!
From a visual standpoint, I get why the comparisons were made. Zekrom is a black dragon with red eyes, and Reshiram is a white dragon with blue eyes. But that’s where the similarities end. While monsters in YGO have only very loose elemental associations, the fact still remains that the Red-Eyes Black Dragon is a fire dragon, while the Blue-Eyes White Dragon is an electric dragon. We see this in their attacks. The Red-Eyes Black Dragon’s attack is Black Fire Bullet (JP) / Inferno Fire Blast (EN), while the Blue-Eyes White Dragon’s attack is Burst Stream of Destruction (JP) / White Lightning (EN). “Burst Stream of Destruction” isn’t specifically electric, but it isn’t fire, either, and the look of it certainly looks electrical whenever it attacks (which is likely what led to 4Kids naming the attack what they did). Either way, these attacks make it clear in both the manga (JP) and the anime (EN) that Red-Eyes is a fire dragon while Blue-Eyes is an electric dragon.
But with Zekrom and Reshiram, that’s reversed. Zekrom is Electric/Dragon, while Reshiram is Fire/Dragon. Their types do not match up with the YGO dragons at all. And while some might say that’s a minor quibble, it really isn’t. Jounouchi is pretty heavily associated with fire, even setting Red-Eyes aside. Just off the top of my head:
The yo-yo he was pictured with in the cover art for chapters 48/49 was a “Fireboy” yo-yo;
He defeated Chopperman by setting him on fire with the candle + oil combo;
One of his most memorable cards is Flame Swordsman (though him saying it was his favorite card was an anime invention, but nonetheless);
He stayed behind with Yuugi during the fire at the Black Crown and made it out with only minor injuries; 
When he got to name an attack during his duel with Malik, he named it “Jounouchi Fire”;
The God card he’s most heavily associated with is Ra, and Ra is the one that uses flames to attack (versus Osiris’ wind and Obelisk’s lightning);
Speaking of, he survived Ra’s flames at first brush (he died a few minutes later, true, but even that was only temporary)
Jounouchi is pretty heavily associated with a fire motif, and so it makes sense that his signature dragon would be a fire dragon, rather than an electric one. And likewise, Kaiba seems to be associated with lightning and electricity far more than he is with fire. Kaiba is all about technological advancement, is always surrounded by computers, robots, and the latest technology that he himself invented. The God card that he’s associated with, Obelisk, is one that has lightning spark around its fists when it attacks. It makes sense that his dragon is an electric one, rather than a fire one. Switching that around by associating Jounouchi with Zekrom and Kaiba with Reshiram is a huge mistake. It doesn’t fit at all.
Moreover, the thing about legendary pokémon is that most of them come with a stronger meaning associated with them. They’re cool looking and have types, yes, but each of them also usually symbolize something, or have something they watch over, protect, or stand for. For Zekrom, that’s ideals (and fighting for one’s ideals), and with Reshiram, that’s truth (and fighting for the truth). While Jounouchi can be an idealistic person, what Zekrom actually looks for in its champion is someone who wants to push their ideals onto others, to lead the world with them, and that’s not Jounouchi. Jounouchi doesn’t want to push his ideals onto others; he lives his own way and that’s that. Likewise, Kaiba’s not really concerned with the truth outside of how it benefits him, and he’s not opposed to flat out ignoring or denying it when it doesn’t, so I don’t think Reshiram would choose him as a champion either, haha.
So yeah, I saw no reason to bring up Zekrom. The Red-Eyes Black Dragon is represented by shiny charizard, and that’s that.
#i also didn't consider sivally/silvuddy at all!!! #but considering that it's literally named...silver buddy... #(gladion you fucking nerd) #it's perfect #the nickanme is perfect #he would approve #maybe silvuddy is something he gets in duelist kingdom? #like. in pegasus' basement or something #but this is pokemon world and you mentioned gladion existing in this crossover canon so HMM. MMM. #I'M STUCK ON HOW HE GETS IT TOO 
I did imagine this as taking place in the Pokémon World, yeah, but that doesn’t mean that we can’t adapt Duelist Kingdom as well. All we have to do is make it pokémon battles instead of Duel Monsters duels. So Pegasus owns an island with a castle, and he decides to host his own battle tournament on his island (that takes place over a more reasonable span of time than just two days). Maybe entrants have to collect star badges instead of star chips, or maybe it is star chips if badges would get him in trouble with the local League. In any case, he has his own unofficial, not-government-sanctioned tournament, and it’s very much like Duelist Kingdom except everyone has real monsters and therefore people like Mai and Bandit Keith have a much harder time cheating than they did in the actual canon.
(Well, Gladion doesn’t have to exist in the crossover canon, haha. It’s just an idea I threw out there. I don’t know if any relationship I could invent for him would be as fun to write as the one I had between him and Alan, so it’s not like I’m very attached to the idea of him existing in this story.)
#...oooh #kaiba imports it into his Tower Of Death scenario because he paid big monies to Aether Foundation #jou ends up taking it back #the same way how in other trials they utilized things that belonged to their enemies against them #(maybe replace the stupid ride of fear part with it BECAUSE HONESTLY THAT WAS THE LOW PART OF THE TOWER. IT WAS STUPID.) 
Hmm, that could work! Although honestly it might make more sense for Kaiba Corporation to have created Type: Null. Kaiba spared absolutely no expense when it came to creating Death-T, and I’m not exaggerating when I say that:
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According to the currency converter I use, in 1996 (when this was written / would take place), ¥10,000,000,000 would be $87,989,745.57. Kaiba spent eighty-seven million dollars to build a theme park to kill Yuugi with. Money was not an issue for him whatsoever.
But that said, Type: Null seems like the type of creature Kaiba Corporation would have created, particularly if they existed within the Pokémon world. Maybe not so much once Kaiba takes over and turns it into a gaming company, but back when it was still a company for developing military weapons? The concept of pokémon being created as weapons is not at all foreign to the series (Mewtwo and Genesect being two prime examples), and I could see Gozaburo wanting to top all of them by creating a chimera that replicated the powers of Arceus. So maybe Type: Null had already been created and cryogenically frozen, and Kaiba released one of them in the hopes that they’d be able to kill Yuugi and the others. That could work. That said, I did really like Chopperman as Jounouchi’s personal challenge, particularly since he knows it’s a trap and walks into it anyway because he feels it’s the right thing to do (what a Gryffindor), so yeah, replacing the horror ride would definitely be preferable, particularly since how sexualized that scene was re: how the ride groped Anzu was unnecessary and gross and hands down the worst part of Death-T. :/ 
#(I HATE TRISTAN'S BRAT COUSIN HE HAD NO REASON TO BE THERE AND ONLY EXISTED TO MAKE TROUBLE) #(I APPRECIATED THAT HE VAPORIZED INTO NONEXISTENCE AFTER THAT ARC. BYE BINCH)
Haha, Jouji is his nephew, actually! Honda was on babysitting duty for his big sister that day. I will say that I do like the fact that Jouji exists purely because it lets us know that Honda has a big sister, and I’ve actually utilized that by fleshing her out into a character for a few fics I’ve written (including my magnum opus), which makes me somewhat attached to her. That said, we don’t actually need that, because Honda brings her up again when he brings clothes for Shizuka to wear when he picks her up from the hospital:
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(Sorry for the scan quality, it’s the best I can do right now. Also, the “I don’t know if they’ll look good on you” --- that’s VIZ being kind of loose with the translation. In the original Japanese what he says is more like, “I don’t know if they’ll suit you,” which makes sense given Shizuka is far more demure than what Honda’s sister is implied to be like, given her taste in clothes.)
This little mention here is actually part of why I characterized her the way I did when I wrote her; that she wore “loud” clothes when she was younger spoke to a punkish style of dress, and in my mind, attitude therefore. Either way, though, Jouji is the first way we find out that Honda has an older sister, and that happens much earlier than this, so I guess that’s at least a little good he brings to the story.
Still, though, I agree with you overall, haha. I don’t like Jouji as a character at all. I don’t like the toilet humor during the horror game ride (though that still wasn’t as bad as the ride itself groping Anzu), I don’t like how he’s perverted as a baby, and I don’t understand how old he’s supposed to be. He seems like he should only be a year or so old, but if that’s true, how can he talk that well? How can he understand more mature concepts? It feels like he should have been at least five or six, but then I suppose he wouldn’t have been able to be carried around . . . ugh. Either way, he didn’t really bring anything of merit or value to Death-T. The closest we got was that he was the bait to lure Jounouchi in, and I liked that because, again, Jounouchi knew that it was a trap, but he walked into it anyway because he felt it was the Right thing to do, both because Jouji had helped them once before, and because Jouji was a baby. (And there’s a blink-and-you’ll-miss-it moment right before the games actually start where Honda is trying to get Jouji to shut up, and Jounouchi says, “Don’t make him cry!” Jounouchi really does have a soft spot for kids, aww. It’s the big brother in him, probably.) Plus, the fact that Jounouchi won that literal fight to the death while holding a baby in his arms is nothing short of badass, and I’ll never take any badass moments away from him. ♥
But yeah, Jouji was a worthless trash character, lmao. There’s a reason why, although I’ve written Honda’s older sister, I haven’t actually written Jouji. I’ve no use for that annoying thing.
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popculturebuffet · 4 years ago
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Loud House: 11 Louds A Leapin Review or It’s My Bobby in a Box
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Happy Holidays errybody! Christmas returns to this blog after a bit of a break to tie up some loose ends, and celebrate my birthday with a return to the loud house.  It’s honestly good to be back. While it can be a struggle to cover a pure comedy, I genuinely like the show a lot, even with it’s flaws i’ve gone into, and my regular reviews gave  me a running gag in my hatred of rusty and a new respect for the show. It’s just with a buiser schedule and me not actually trying to have something resembling order to things, I kept shoving Banned Together back despite really wanting to see it since.. you know.. Luna episode.. until it ended up sliding into ANOTHER set of episodes. It’s things like this why I have a queue now: while it’s not set day by day, in case I want to do more than one i na day, it is there to keeep some semblance of order and keep me on track so this dosen’t happen again.  So with all that being said.. why did I choose to do A DIFFRENT loud house episode for the second time in a row before getting back to the current season? Simple.. i’ve been putting this episode off personally for even LONGER. I meant to watch 12 louds a leapin back when it first came out at the start of season 2... and just never got around to it. And just kept never getting around to it, wanting to watch it at christmas but then forgetting to do so for the last 4 years. Spare a thought there.. 4 years. In that time 80 years have passed, an era of marvel movies have come to an end, a tick series has come and gone, She Ra has come and gone, ducktales premiered then annoucned it was ending.. my point is way too many shows are ending too soon, and i’ve let this slide for far too long. So I bumped this one up to finally take a look at it, as i’ve waited this long and didn’t want to risk missing it a fifth fucking time. So yeah i’m taking look at what’s probably a classic episode in the fandom with fresh eyes. Let’s see what I thought shall we? It’s Christmas Eve at the Loud House and Lincoln is once again Zach Morrising it up .
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Not what I meant.. whatever that is. It’s been 30 years since that episode aired, probably a good 12 since I first saw it and I still have no idea why they did this or if it was giong to end in a three way before the girls showed up. We just don’t know and the greatest minds in the country are baffled.. and you know working on the vaccine and making sure it’s safe. 
No Linc is talking to the camera about it being christmas while gearing up to go sledding with his sled big red. Meanwhile the rest of the louds are doing their usual christmas activities which we get introduced to as Lincoln gets ready. The girls sub-plots here are, outside of Lori’s., less plots and more running gags, various shenanigans by the girls tying into their personalities and christmasy stuff. It works perfectly.. while it’s a bunch of gags.. the gags are funny and it’s neat to learn more about just how the girls celebrate christmas and what they get up to every year. It’s part of what’s to love about holiday specials as you get a once or twice in a series chance to see how our heroes celbrate the holiday and thus a look into stories, gags and character stuff very unique to the holiday. It also uses the fact LIncoln was the protaganist at the time very well, using him as our viewpoint to set up all the christmas goings on as he makes his way out of the house, so we can cut back to them later as his plot goes on. It’s really good stuff. So what are the girls up to? Let’s go down the list by age shall we?
Lori: Lori has the most involved plot anyway so it’s best to start here. Lori and Bobby are having their first christmas together... though it does bring up the fact that they’ve only been dating 2 years at most, yet plan to get married.. I mean that is a lot but your also 18. Then again time is nigh incomprehinsiable to unpack in the loud house, and at least 3 years passed in the one year it took to get them all aged up, so I wouldn’t think about it too hard.  Lori, still being in huge bitch mode as she was early on, pressures bobby to get a good gift. She later gets said gift but despite being told to open it immideitly, her siblings chide her on her habit of tearing presents open and thus get her not to open it. So that’s a runner through the special, with Lana even putting her on a leash at one point, which I found hilarious. Less hilaroius is the conclusion as it turns out in the box on christmas day.. is BOBBY, who understandably is not looking so good...
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Thankfully bobby’s not dead or they all would be, but still the poor boy missed christmas eve with his mom  and sister for this stunt. I mean I get it’s his fault, he’s apparently LITERALLY too dumb to live it turns out and should’ve you know made a noise sooner and probably didn’t want to ruin the suprise.. but we still nearly got an episode where a 4 year old had surivviors guilt for letting her older sisters boyfriend suffocate in a box. That’s dead santa from gremlins levels of fucked up. Thankfully Lori loves it and I assume bobby’s worried family joined them for christmas eve. That image fills my heart with hope. But seriously bobby never again we can’t loose you. At least not before Sergio. 
Leni: Leni’s is very simple it’s just a running gag of her taking various christmas things, making them into outfits then saying shhhh to whoever’s around when she hears, or in later cases is right there, with the person asking. Just a funny bit.  Luna: Is working on a christmas song. It’s one of the weake runners as the failed songs just aren’t that funny, but the payoff for the main plot makes up for it. WE’ll get to that.  Luann: Has one of my faviorite bits, her 12 puns of christmas which is both really adorable and leads to an adorable moment with her dad. Always loved their relationship. 
Lynn and Lucy: Are teamed up this episode which makes me genuinely miss how the two would be used as a pair ocasionally earlier on but just .. arne’t anymore> The rest of the girls status as roomates is used liberally but not so much these two. IT’s just weird and disheartning to me. That being said their plot is simply the two digging around to find where the presents are hidden, which I never got as why would you want to know weeks ahead of time. You can’t use any money to buy the stuff you dind’t get or they’ll know and they usually figure out you knew ahead of time and it just brings thigns down. But from a kid’s perspective I guess I get it and while it’s weird to have Lucy be one of the ones following I like it, as it shows that benath her gothy demanor she’s still just an 8 year old girl excited for christmas, and that’s adorable. A decent enough runner. 
Lana: Gets  a good one: She keeps accidently catching people, and a passing car in one case though she has a jack to help, in her reindeer traps. Its not only funny but really adorable especially since she dosen’t care about trapping SANTA persay, she just wants her own pet reindeer and frankly who wouldn’t want a rideable woodland critter who can fly. Dammit now i want one too. 
Lola and Lisa: Lola gets a fairly standard one tha’ts still pretty damn funny; She wants to get offf the naughy list by playing good for a day. What makes it funny is that last part.. that instead of doing it over a few days like most of this plot she’s trying to cram it all into one day while also trying not to strangle Lisa, who keeps showing up to say santa’s route is impossiuble. As ducktales covered he slows down time.. also you know.. not every kid celebrates christmas so ther’es probably a good number of houses he dosen’t have to cover in one night.  Lily: Just randomly pops out of stockings a bit. it’s precioous as it sounds.  The Parents: It had honestly been so long both since i’d seen a season 1 episode, and since the two had been both given actual names and fleshed out considerably, that i’d forgotten Rita and Senior had their faces obscured for all of season 1. It’s REALLY weird and jarring to go back to after getting to know them as fully formed people of their own over the past 3 seasons, and especally gorowing to love Senior, as he’s a loveably goofy dad but without the incompetence of most comedy dads. He can bumble but he’s also genuinely supportive, talented and pulls his weight in his marriage and family.  We do however start to really see their fully formed , full member of the cast perosnalities here: Rita is clearly tired from the sheer amount of shit she has to juggle, but is also nice and warm and while Lynn Sr.’s goofiness was established already, here it’s tempered into his current shape and his love of cooking and through role as the family chef is established. While he was established as cook earlier he goes from someone who’d use frozen food just to get by to a master chef who probably does use a lot of frozen stuff but can make anything taste good and will eventually have his own restraunt. It’s really fascenating to see them slowly emerge. They don’t really have plots themslves, and Lynn’s only real gag is wanting everyone to try his figgy pudding. 
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So with the rest of the family covered let’s get to our main plot. Lincoln is sledding.. on the slide out back.. for some reason. 
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The reason is simple.. his sled ends up in the yard of Mr. Grouse, their neighbor and old man who yells at louds. Lincoln explains grouse keeps everything that ends up in his yard and has taken a lot from the Loud Kids over the years. So lincoln.. uses the slide to sled.. DIRECTLY IN FRONT OF HIS YARD. 
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I’ve been wanting to use pigtail kim since I made that one recently. But her points stands. What?!. I mean Lincoln can be stupid, he’s  only 12 it’s allowed, but usually more out of not realizing what he’s getting into or using kid logic. He’s not this brain dead. That’s Leni’s job. It just feels like plot contrivance. Just have him build some sort of contraption as a makeshift hill and tell the audience he’s doing this because his family dosen’t want him going to an actual hill on christmas or is too busy to take him. There are easier ways than this half assed rube goldberg machine of a setup. So naturally his sled ends up in the yard.. and he calls on Clyde to help....
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Now if you’ve been reading my reviews for a while, you know that reactoin is normally reserved exclusivley for this guy. 
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But since Rusty was in his larval state with only a few apperances and hadn’t emeerged from his coocoon as the douche I know and love to take pot shots at, there was actually something WORSE. Something more obnoxious. And with far far worse implications. And that my friends was seasons 1 and 2 Clyde.  Clyde in the early seasons CAN be fine, and the self we know now. In fact I wish he interacted with the sisters more as the slumber party episode early on gave him a nice dynamic with all of them and the episode with him and leni was terrific. The problem one there was running gag with him, one character trait that utterly sucked the joy out of the room at best and made him into an unlikeable little shit at worst; HIs crush on Lori.  When she’s around at BEST he has a Master Roshi nosebleed, stammers her name and passes out, something that wasn’t funny the first time and quickly became grating the 80 other times they did it. But at worst, as he is here? He’s creepy, obessevie and worst of all. .a real dick to bobby. Who as we’ve established is...
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So that was NEVER going to go over well and even ignoring that is still very bad. The little creep just constantly treats Bobby with hostility, which given this is Bobby, he dosen’t realize is going on. Any time their relationship is threantned Clyde’s main goal is to swoop in during the aftermath and win lori over. He constantly wants Bobby out of the way, The ONE TIME he dosen’t come off as a massive dick is when Lincoln thinks Bobby might be cheating, and that’s because Clyde isn’t planning on swooping into the wrecakge of someone’s relationship to get a girlfriend, but to punch the guy out for cheating on her. Bobby wasn’t and Clyde obviously isn’t capable of that, but it’s a bit more understandable and even CLYDE wants to make sure there’s evidence first. But more often than not he’s just under the assumptino Lori will be his despite the massive age gap, her having made it obvious she’s not intrested, and her being in  longterm relationship she’s really happy in with someone else. And this was season 1 lori who reacted to this, so the fact she’s not being the queen of all bitches about it only makes him look that much worse. And to add to that, Bobby not only KNOWS he has as crush on Lori but is suppportive of clyde, cheering him on when she kisses him once for doing something noble, and generally treating “Clydsdale” like he would any of Lori’s blood siblings. It was excurating then to sit through this every few episodes.. and it’s even worse now because the gag’s complete dissaperance from Season 3 onwards really paints the picture that this gag was entirely because series creator Chris Savino thought this was FUNNY and no one else did. And given he got fired for, you know, HARASSING WOMEN  AND NOT TAKING NO FOR AN ANSWER  you kinda see how an already bad bit was made worse. So yeah while the sled thing is bad this.. is objectively worse and drags the special down more. It’s thakfully not omniprescent but man is it hard to watch.  Clyde being in full dickhead mode is trying to get a kiss from lori and is using a missletoe hat for it.. And can we just agree that while Missletoe can be used well in stories, to help two shy people finally kiss or to ramp up romantic tension or what have you, that it’s often used by creepy douchebags to get kisses they don’t deserve both here and presumibly in irl before the plauge hit? We can? Good. But yeah that’s his plot, no suprise he gets one, bah hum bug. He also throws in some Bobby bashing by fantasising about him ending up in the yard and clyde ending up with lori since Grouse keeps bobby.. even though instead Lori would just ignore clyde, storm over there and rip an old man’s spine out mortal kombat style. 
So yeah Lincoln wants his sled back, but he can’t do it alone as the old man scares him, hence Clyde coming in. They make an elaborate plan using some careful blueprints. 
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Their real plan is to have Clyde disract grouse while Lincoln grabs the sled but it fails and mean mr mustard finds it and takes it inside. Desperate, Lincoln prepares to do some crimes and head into his house. Clyde is afraid he’l end up in jail and never get to visit because only family can. Clyde you are family. Plus Prison visits aren’t limited to relatives only, any show with a character in jail storyline will tell you that. But Lincoln makes a valid point that Grouse stole his property.. I still dont’ think this is the right way to handle it and his parents should just go over and ask the loud, irate asshole to give the kids stuff back he stole to be a dick, but this is a kids show and again we wouldn’t have a plot but unlike last time my head dosen’t hurt from this. He’s desperate, he knows that probably wouldn’t work and again he’s 12. 12 year old logic is fine.  Naturally he ends up getting caught as Grouse didn’t leave for long, though having found a photo of Grouse with a sled as a kid, understandably fires back on him that he wasn’t always like this. Why he like this. He also has the much farier point that again, it’s his property and “My yard my rules” is about as much a legal rule as a note saying “I can do what I want, ron”. But Grouse understandably, hey he’s a dick but the boyd id be and e, makes him clean up and after Grouse fails to get the loud parents Lincoln, via a comination of a charming family photo and Grouse talking to his sister on the phone, finds out the real reason he acts like this: He misses his family and being on a fixed income can’t visit them often as he tells his sister he won’t be home for christmas to see his sprawling family. 
And while it doesen’t excuse his actions.. it does explain why Grouse is so bitter: you would be too if you had a massive family who clealry loved you and your on good terms with.. but through no fault of your own and presumibly despite working hard toa fford retirment you just.. can’t see them. Their there and you have the phone, but you don’t know how to work the internet and it’s just.. not the same as seeing them. Your just seperated from them and can’t be near them or hear their voices or get hugs. Which.. given the current pandemic i’m sure MANY of you can relate to that.. to being seperated from your loved ones and trapped, and especailly many people mr grouses age are facing that. While this special is good even without the context of seeing it this year it especailly resonates and i’m glad I waited this long simply beaause it came at just the right time. Grouse tells him to leave not planning on calling his parents.
So in christmas special fashion, Lincoln is touched byt his story, and feels bad for the old curmudgeon. Sure they don’t get along and the bastard broke his sled.. but again you’d be bitter too in his shoes. The guy has nothing and is alone.. and Grouse has done nothing to deserve that, even with his actions resulting from it. No one should be alone on christmas.  So Lincoln tells his sisters, all of whom rally around him, including Luna whose writer’s block is broken as she finally realizes... 
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And not singing about that was holding her back. Luna has her song and Lincoln, as expected has a plan.  And we soon see that plan as Grouse gets a knock on the door.. and finds the Louds, parents included, and The McBrides all there singing him a christmas song. It’s pretty decent and the first time we really get to see Nikka Futterman sing and i’ts beautiful> Ther’ed be better, and worse luna songs to come but this is still pretty neat and sweet. THey came to offer him deocrations, dinner, company.. and a one way bus ticket to his family... presumibly the family will pay the other way or he can easier the day after christmas. Point is he’s touched, and genuinely and sincerly thanks them and invites them in, with Grouse’s actor John DiMaggio REALLY selling it hard. 
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So our heroes gather for Christmas Eve all together, and under Grouse’s roof with Grouse giving the kids their stuff back having had a change of heart. Sure he misses his family.. but the Louds and Mc Brides have shown him he dosen’t have to shut everyone out as a result. And while Grouse apologizes tht his sled is gone.. Lincoln’s fine with it he got something better.  So the next morning we end on the kids opening presents, and Lori saving her boyfriend from axphisxiation, seriously between this and strife of the party i’m really starting to sour on lana. Regarldess Lucy finally belivies in santa both due to gifts nd seeing him last night, while Lincoln finds a sled from santa.. and then goes outside to see Mr Grouse off, recognizing he’s the one who played santa in  a really sweet and senitmental bit. The two part on good terms even if Lincoln breaks another window. Things have changed if not that much.  Final THoughts:  If it wasn’t obvious, I REALLY loved this one. While it has it’s flaws, and Chris Savino sucks dirty ass in thunderstorms obviously.. it’s still a really sweet, well constructed special and I really recommend checking it out. It’s on the nick app if you have cable and on CBS All Acess if you have that. Until next time merry christmas to all and to all a good day. 
And if ther’es an episode of the loud house you’d like me to review leave it in the comments or you can comission a review of it for five dollars. Just direct message me to work out the details or send an ask for my discord. 
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harperthejay · 6 years ago
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Writober 1.1 - “Candy”
Alright, I’ll be the first to admit that the prompt is pretty loosely mentioned in the actual writing. It was supposed to be about a guy who bought some valentine candy and then dropped it at someone’s feet on accident, and they hit it off, but ... well, sometimes when you start writing, you lose control of where things are going. I didn’t really know where Andrew’s tipsy walk home would take him, and it turns out it took him right to - well, you’ll see soon enough. It should also be noted that this prompt was for a few days ago, and while I did write MOST of it then, I have been touching it up since and just finished. @writerofwriting
Chocolate and Pipe Tobacco
Andrew Carson’s month was going, in a word, terrible. February 14th was right around the corner, and the light of his life, the one he loved with all of his heart, had left the city. Left the country, in fact! “A higher calling,” Caroline had called it. Andrew called it “missionaries stole my fianceé”. That was one of their many differing beliefs: Caroline believed a divine hand placed purpose into every moment; Andrew believed moments only had the purpose you gave them. And the moments he gave her apparently weren’t enough.
He couldn’t be mad at her. Not really. Regardless of the reason, she was building homes for needy children. Or hospitals, or something. Her messages started blurring together after the text she sent last week: “im so sorry andy but ive been accpeted for the mission trip”. He ran that text through his mind over and over again, word for word, and after a week of dwelling, he had gone from shock and disbelief to sadness to anger.
“I mean, how hard is it to spell ‘accepted’ right?!” he asked the bartender as she popped the cap off of another cider. “It literally shows you how to spell the word on your phone. It’s harder to spell it wrong, for fuck’s sake.” He took a swig from the bottle, letting the tangy pumpkin flavor distract his thoughts for a moment.
“It could have been worse, Aaron,” the bartender offered in response. “She could have left a post-it note or something.” She gave a slow shrug.
Andrew blinked. “Uh. Yeah. I mean.. I guess? It’s Andrew, by the-” The bartender had already moved to the next customer, leaving him alone to watch the hockey game above the bar in uncomfortable silence.
A few minutes passed, then an hour, and the game was over. His team had lost, which seemed to be a pretty good bookend to his Saturday, so he paid his tab and stood up with a slight wobble in his step. “Later,” he said as he waved lazily to the bartender, who hadn’t noticed Andrew stand up. The bell above the doorway jingled in an annoyingly upbeat way that made him want to rip it out of its goddamn place and throw it into the fucking road, but he reasoned that was the ciders talking, and it might not be a good plan.
Home was about a mile away, and a walk sounded like a good way to clear his mind. Ten minutes later the wind picked up, stinging his face with the light bits of mist that had been merely annoying until then. He grimaced accusingly at the sky and then ducked into an alleyway and leaned against the brick wall of a failing restaurant to take temporary solace from the weather. He rubbed his hands together briskly, breathing into them for warmth.
“Where the hell’d this wind come from?” Andrew jumped at the sudden sound of the voice coming from across the alley. He hadn’t noticed anybody when he walked in, but if he was being honest with himself, he wasn’t paying much attention. “Oh. Um. Yeah. It sucks.”
The stranger chuckled and nodded, smiling and looking out at the street. He stared at the cars for a few moments before turning his attention back toward Andrew. “At least it isn’t raining, right?”
“Yeah, I guess.” He despised small talk, and though he wasn’t going for rudeness, the ciders in his belly left him ill-equipped for tact.
“I’m Barry.” The stranger pulled a hand out of his wool coat’s pocket to give a small wave. His other hand pulled out a fun-size chocolate bar, already unwrapped, and he took a bite. “Andrew,” Andrew nodded in reply.
“Good to meet you, Andrew.” Barry continued to smile as he ate the second half of the candy bar. “Milky Way?”
“No, thanks,” Andrew said, then he shook his head a moment later as his stomach gave a small grumble. “Actually, yeah, that’d be cool.” He held his hand out to take an offered Milky Way from Barry, unwrapped it, and shoved it into his mouth, letting out an audible groan of satisfaction as he chewed.
Barry laughed and nodded appreciatively. “Exactly how I feel about them.” Suddenly, the sound of the wind died down, and all they could hear was the passing of cars on the street. “Looks like it’s clearing up. You gonna get home alright, Andy?”
Andrew shuddered and tried to push a frown off of his face. “Andrew,” he said sternly. “And yeah, I’ll be fine.”
“Sorry. Andrew. You heading that way?” Barry motioned with his thumb the direction Andrew had been walking, and Andrew nodded. “Me too. You mind if I tag along? I’ve just got a few more blocks.”
With a shrug and a sigh, Andrew pushed off of the wall and began walking. “Yeah, I guess.” After a few steps that were a bit more confident than they should have been, he stumbled, and Barry caught him gently by the shoulders.
“Whoa, you alright, Andy- er, Andrew?”
“Yeah, yeah, I’m ..” He sighed and then laughed. His cheeks were beginning to flush bright red, a combination of the alcohol, the wind, and the embarrassment. “I guess the ciders hit me a little harder than I thought they did.”
“No problem, man. Let’s get you home.” Barry grinned and nodded, a steadying arm moving around Andrew’s shoulders as they walked down the sidewalk. A bit more small talk commenced, and Andrew had to admit that he didn’t hate it as much as he wanted to. Barry was easy to talk to, he found, and funny, to boot. Both qualities were welcomed, given his bad mood.
Another fifteen minutes passed (the rest of the walk should have only taken about ten, but tipsy stumbling slowed the pair down a bit), and Andrew held his hand up. “Wait, whoa, hang on.” He shot a look over his shoulder, then laughed aloud, his face still beet red. “That’s me, back there.” He motioned vaguely at the apartment they’d just passed, and they turned back toward it. “Thanks. This was .. I mean, I had a good time. A good walk.” He shook his head. “Whatever. It was good to meet you, Barry.”
“You too, Andrew.” Barry’s smile was warm and genuine, and Andrew found himself staring at his eyes. They were dark, dark blue, darker than he’d seen before, and he swore for a moment he could see glittering flecks of silver-white in them. He leaned forward to inspect closer, and was surprised when he felt Barry’s lips pressing against his.
They were soft, softer than he had thought a man’s could be, and that was the first surprise. He was cleanly shaven as well, like silk, and Andrew could feel his own stubbled face rub against smooth skin. There was a taste of chocolate and pipe tobacco on his breath that he didn’t find unpleasant. His eyes, widened in shock, adjusted to the situation, and finally closed lazily as he leaned his body against Barry’s, hands moving to rest on his waist. He felt a warm, gentle tongue trace slowly over his lips, and heard an unwitting whimper from himself. Just then, as he pressed himself against Barry’s hip, they parted, Barry’s hand coming up to cup his cheek gently. His palm felt just a touch clammy, though Andrew didn’t mind, and without realizing, he nuzzled against the touch.
“You’d better get inside and get some rest, Andy.”
Andrew almost protested the nickname, but something about the way it was said, sultry and kind and erotic, made him not mind as much. “That was ..”
“Unexpected?” Barry smirked and raised an eyebrow.
“Yeah.” Andrew cleared his throat, catching another whimper in his throat before it escaped. “I didn’t ..” He shook his head, feeling like his whole body might spontaneously burst into flames. He also became acutely and embarrassingly aware of his excitement, which he felt pressing into Barry’s hip. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be.” Barry leaned forward and gave a gentle, quick rub of his nose against Andrew’s, his chocolate-and-tobacco breath warm against Andrew’s lips. “Get some rest.”
In a daze, Andrew turned toward the door. He fumbled with his keys and finally got it open. As soon as he’d stepped inside, he turned around. “Wait, I didn’t get your -” There was nobody there. A panging sense of disappointment washed over him as he closed the door and slumped on to the couch. He pulled his cell phone out of his pocket, and something came out with it; a matchbook. On the back, in ballpoint pen, was written, “Lovely to meet you, Andy. 555-0777 ~ Baraqiel (Barry)”.
He sounded the name out slowly, “Ba-ra-qi-el,” and he nodded with the smirk of a boy with a crush. “Beautiful.” Before long, his eyes closed, and scenes of dancing among the stars and angelic kisses filled his dreams.
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