#and getting to see them moving and building up/becoming in real time was just *chefs kiss*
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trashycosmos · 3 months ago
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i took a bigger hit than intended off my pen the other day and cloud watched for like a solid 45 minutes and it was absolute bliss
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daysofyellowroses · 9 months ago
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noodles
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carmen berzatto x reader | 1.9k | based on this absolutely adorable request from my darling @thecapricunt1616 enjoy it then i am beyond happy 💗🌼🫶🏻
It didn't matter how many times you shook the plastic stick, the little pink plus sign didn't fade. You tossed it in the trash can, where it joined three others with matching pink pluses. You couldn't really get your head around it, you'd been careful, taken things relatively slow..well, kind of. 
Things had just progressed a little quicker than you'd expected. One minute you're applying for a hostess job, thinking you probably won't even get an interview, seeing as it was a Michelin-starred hotspot, then next thing you're front and center at a fancy restaurant and spending large portions of your shift flirting with the head chef. 
It was never serious flirting, it was just silly and fun. You made flirty comments to everyone, you just particularly meant them with Carmy. He finally seemed to get the hint when you asked him upstairs after he'd dropped you home for the 10th time. 
Nothing really happened that night, you just shared a drink, cheap wine from your refrigerator, and made each other laugh with stupid jokes. You told him you meant it when you flirted, he insisted you were joking. It was only when you kissed him that he finally got the message, kissing you back with a fervor that had your head spinning in the most wonderful way. 
From there you two developed a relationship that suited you both. You were professional at work, still had some nights apart when you were both exhausted or just needed some alone time. But you had spent hours sitting on his kitchen counter watching him cook, told him stories from your past, encouraged him to tell you some stories too. You watched movies that you didn't pay full attention to, you read your book with your legs over Carm's lap, rolling your eyes with a grin when he would tease you for looking so serious. 
It was the best relationship you'd ever been in, and while you weren't sure what the future held, you were positive Carm would be a big part of it, that you two would keep going, develop your relationship.
Sure, you had thought about kids, marriage, a home together etc., but in a kind of just-for-fun-daydreamy kind of way. 
Now, one of those things was becoming a reality. It wasn't exactly how you would have planned it, you and Carm weren't even living together. Sure, you stayed at his most nights of the week and had more than a few personal belongings left there, but it wasn't the same.
It felt like moving in should have been the next step. The excitement of starting to really build a foundation together. You were just skipping ahead a step or two, apparently. 
Eventually you left the bathroom and chose to sit on your bed for a while instead. You called your doctor and made an appointment, more as a formality. Maybe it would feel more real when your doctor told you rather than seeing it on a plastic stick you'd peed on.
Once you were dressed you went to make a coffee before stopping yourself, wondering if it was ‘allowed’, even though it was so early on. You decided to play it safe, having a herbal tea instead, which you nearly choked on when your phone rang, Carmy's ID flashing up on the screen.
Did he know? How could he know?
“Hey,” You smiled as much as you could, trying to feel normal. “How are you? How is everything?”
You hoped you didn't sound too unusual or not yourself, feeling annoyingly aware of yourself.
“Hey, everything's good,” Carm replied and you felt yourself relax a little. “Just..there's been a slight change of plan for today.”
You stifled a laugh, nothing Carm could say could be a bigger change of plan than an unexpected pregnancy.
“Oh? You raised a brow, lightly tapping your nails against your cup. “What's up?”
“So, it turns out that apparently I promised Richie and Sug that I'd babysit while they have some meetings. I hate to ask when it's your day off but..could you help me?”
You couldn't help but laugh, resting your head on your head on your hand and letting out a soft sigh.
“Of course I'll help, don't worry. When do you need me?” 
An couple of hours later, you found yourself at Carmy's apartment, smiling as he opened the door looking flustered, a toddler on his hip and a doll in his hand.
“Perfect timing,” He smiled, stepping aside to let you in. “I'm outnumbered.”
“Who said I'm on your side?” You raised a brow, smiling at the little boy on Carmy's hip and gently stroked his cheek as he giggled. “I'm here to help the kids gang up on you.”
“Oh good,” Carm nodded, lightly tapping you with the doll. “Bring it on.”
You made your way to the living room, smiling as you spotted Eva on the couch, giving her a little wave.
“Hey girly girl,” You grinned, going to sit next to her. “Hope you've been keeping your uncle busy?”
“Yeah,” She giggled, leaning over to you as Carm came into the room. You leaned down, smiling as she whispered in your ear.
A half hour or so later, you went to open the living room door as there was a knock, adjusting the toddler on your hip before opening it and trying to keep a straight face as you met Carm's eyes.
“Hi, can I help you?” You asked, raising a brow.
“Uh, yeah, actually,” Carmy nodded, trying to keep a straight face. “I have an appointment, I'm a little early but..maybe you could squeeze me in?”
“Maybe,” You nodded, biting your lip softly. “Come in, follow me.”
You turned and walked further into the room, gesturing to the couch. “Take a seat.”
“Yes ma'am,” Carm nodded as you walked to the kitchen door and opened it.
“Your two o'clock is early,” You said, glancing back to Carm for a moment.. “Do you want to fit him in now?”
You nodded before turning back to Carm and gesturing to the kitchen. “She'll see you now, come through.”
You walked into the kitchen and smiled as you watched Carm walk in, the smile on his face as he spotted the makeshift beauty salon that had been set up.
“Take a seat,” Eva gestured to the seat across the counter, an adorably serious look on her face. You placed the baby into his high chair by the table, smiling as you heard Eva boss her uncle around.
“Hands in the bowl, keep them still.”
You went to the fridge, taking out a little light blue lunch box before glancing over to Carm with a smile.
“What color do you want?” Eva asked, pointing to the handful of nail polishes sitting on the counter. 
 “Hm, I'm not sure,” Carm mused, looking at the colors. “I got a big date tonight, I wanna look my best. What do you think will suit me?”
You smiled to yourself as you put the lunch box in the microwave, laughing softly as you heard Eva tell Carm to hold still.
After lunch and Carmy's nail appointment, you decided to take the kids to the park, feeling a new wave of love for your boyfriend that he made no attempt to remove the red nail polish. When you were taking the stroller to the lift, one of Carm's neighbors passed you in the hall and smiled at you and realized that it wouldn't be long before the baby in the stroller would be yours.
You brushed off the thought, trying to focus on just having a nice, fun day. As you were en route to the park, Carm asked if you could have a little detour, and you were sure the look on the kids faces when you arrived at build-a-bear would never leave you.
Carm took his nephew from the stroller and placed him on his hip before taking him to pick out a teddy, your heart swelling in your chest, moreso when Eva took your hand and asked you to help her choose.
You found yourself subconsciously placing your hand on your stomach, wondering what it would feel like to hold your own baby on your hip, feel their hand in yours, see the excitement in their eyes when they were presented with a cute little toy.
Carm's nephew had picked a bear (perhaps with a little nudge from his uncle), that ended up in a chefs uniform (that one was a total push), while Eva chose a bunny that she chose a performance outfit for. 
When you got back to Carm's, you were more than happy to chill on the couch, though you practically melted into it when Carm got a book and read to the kids (and their new toys) til they were asleep. 
“Not a bad effort,” You smiled, looking over to Carm and trying not to imagine the toddler that could be in his lap one day. “You might actually be pretty good at this whole uncle thing.”
“I might just be,” Carm grinned, reaching out to touch your hand. “Had help from the best though.”
“You're welcome,” You smiled, gently stroking his hand. “I presume that's why you're taking me on a..big date, was it?”
“Oh absolutely,” Carm nodded, looking serious for a moment before he grinned. “the biggest.”
“Hm, guess I'll have to get glammed up,” You smiled, looking over to Eva. “Maybe I'll see if I can get a last minute appointment.”
That evening, after a quick trip home to grab a change of clothes, you were back in Carmy's apartment. It felt so quiet without the kids, you found yourself putting on music just for background noise. 
When you were in the bathroom putting on your makeup, you felt a wave of nausea hit you, more out of nerves than anything else. You hoped it would leave, but before you knew it you were bent over the toilet, taking a deep breath as you waited for the inevitable.
There was a knock on the bathroom door when you were washing your hands, looking up at the mirror taking a deep breath. Even with makeup you still looked unwell. 
“Hey,” Carm smiled as you opened the door, the concern evident on his face. “Are you okay? I thought I heard..”
“I'm fine,” You nodded, taking a deep breath and letting out a sigh as the concern didn't leave his face. “I just..need to talk to you.”
You walked into the bedroom, sitting on the bed and trying to think of the right words.
“Okay,” You began. “this is..really not what I thought would happen, and I don't know how you're going to take this but..oh god..”
As you buried your head in your hands, Carm was immediately by your side, his arm around your waist. 
“Whatever it is you can tell me,” He assured you. “I promise. Just let it out, we'll handle it.”
“I'm pregnant.” You said before you could stop yourself or build it up more, lowering your hands and looking over to Carm.
“You're..wow,” Carmy nodded, rubbing his jaw. “Well, thank fuck for that. I mean, I knew, but I thought you were dumping me.”
“Wait what?” You raised a brow. “You knew? How did you know?”
“I just knew,” Carm shrugged with a smile. “I mean, I guess I hoped I was right..I know it's skipping ahead a little but..I want what we had today, all the time.”
“Can you stop being so perfect for like one day?” You rolled your eyes with a grin, resting your head on Carmy's shoulder. “Or maybe just after the big date.”
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nsfwhiphop · 2 months ago
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Part 2 - Incoming Text for Dr . Naomi Campbell (@naomi):
Dear Naomi,
I’d like to introduce you to a close friend of mine, Pierre Kosciusko-Morizet, also known as PKM (@km.pierre).
I encourage you to connect with Pierre and spend time with him in Paris. He will ensure you're up-to-date on all of our royal affairs.
Pierre is a trusted associate of our 'décideur en chef,' Dominique de Villepin.
Dominique de Villepin is indeed the principal advisor to the Somali royal family. His role involves providing strategic guidance on both foreign and domestic policies, focusing on building partnerships and ensuring effective governance.
Dominique de Villepin is referred to as the "décideur en chef" (chief decision-maker) for the Somali royal family. In this role, he leads the strategic direction and governance efforts of the family, advising them on critical decisions related to their political and diplomatic strategies. His appointment has been significant, especially in light of the challenges the royal family faces, including opposition from corrupt individuals​
Also, you should know that I have to follow royal protocol. I can’t meet people until I’m officially enthroned. As you know, I’m dealing with a lot of sabotage attempts, and I’m protected by Dominique de Villepin, who ensures that no one can undermine my rule.
I have a lot of haters, enemies, and envious people around the world who want to sabotage my rule. For that reason, I never meet anyone outside of my trusted circle.
I have responsibilities. I’m a leader now, and I can’t be out partying with random celebrities. I’m not an entertainer—I’m a monarch.
As I mentioned before, you can become close friends with Pierre. He is a good friend of mine, and he will keep you informed about all royal affairs.
I hope you understand my silence. As the highest-ranking member of the Somali intelligence agency, I can’t mingle with celebrities. I’m involved in many dangerous operations, just like all Directors of Intelligence agencies, so you should know I have to reject people and refuse to sit with them.
I'm not just a monarch; I’m also the highest-ranking official in the Somali Intelligence Agency. That makes me a target, and plenty of haters want to sabotage my life. They’re eager to know who my friends are, trying to collect data and information. For that reason, I avoid all public gatherings and only meet in private. Everything I do is in the dark—no cameras, no pictures, nothing at all. Just me and the darkness. After all, no one can see when it’s dark, right?
Have you seen the Emily Blunt movie A Quiet Place? Well, I live a similar lifestyle—I never speak. I’m practically mute.
I use my Tumblr blogs to communicate, and I avoid everyone in real life because of the enemies who want to sabotage my rule.
As long as I stay invisible, they can’t do anything to undermine me. But once I become visible, they take pictures, post them on Google, and write hundreds of articles to slander my name. This is how they destroy the careers of righteous leaders.
I've been dubbed the ungoogleable man. You can't find me on Google; I simply don't exist there.
I never give them any opportunity to attack me—they can’t even see me. What are they going to attack? You can’t slander or attack someone you can’t see.
I’m fighting a war to protect my country, and I’m a warrior they can’t touch. If they can’t see me, they can’t touch me. Game over!
I’m a freedom fighter, resisting their corrupt dictators, and I have a powerful army of angry Europeans who are ready to spark World War III. The downfall of the USA and UK is already in motion.
The world is no longer going to let them get away with their crimes. We want to drop nuclear bombs on these two nations.
They went too far, and now it’s time to put an end to their injustice.
You should know that the USA and UK are currently being held hostage. If they make one wrong move, they will be annihilated by nuclear bombs.
You have no idea how furious the global population is—they’re ready to put an end to this corruption. The USA and UK brought this upon themselves.
The Anti-Christ mentioned in the Bible is living in the USA and UK. If you didn’t know before, now you do. This is the Apocalypse.
The things they do are beyond what is acceptable. The USA and UK are complicit because they are harboring a fugitive. The Anti-Christ is a fugitive, the most ruthless, cruel, and vile creature our world has ever seen. Any villain you have encountered in the history of mankind doesn’t even come close to the level of cruelty of the Anti-Christ. It’s time to wake up and be ready to fight that horrendous beast.
I hope this message will wake you up and see what our world has become.
The end of this conversation.
Your virtual friend,
Angelo (Crown Prince)
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bumblesimagines · 4 years ago
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Forgotten Fairytale
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Part 2
Request: Yes or No
I'm not afraid of this series not becoming as well loved as Green Thumb and I don't expect it to be popular. I've had the idea stuck in my head for a while and I'm getting it all out.
~
You looked over the artifacts the school had stored. You gave a small scoff, shaking your head as you noticed things that didn’t belong in a school.
“They call us thieves and hoarders yet half this shit was stolen off a corpse.” You muttered, stopping in front of a glass case protecting a sword.
“I wouldn’t suggest stealing that. It’ll be obvious.” You turned towards the redhead, sighing and tilting your head as she walked towards you.
“You’re a pain in the ass.” You looked back at the sword, eyes raking over it. 
“You know what this is?” You asked. Hope stood beside you, looking down at the sword. She shook her head, pursing her lips slightly.
“A man named Lord Jameson Wraith owned this sword. He was… a hunter of sorts and specialized in killing dragons. When he stabbed this through the chest of a dragon, the sword would light up and the dragon would burn from the inside. A gruesome, slow death. We were hunted like all others but it wasn’t just to protect humans. We were hunted for our meat, our teeth, and our scales. Humans declared war on us and when we fought back, we were erased from everyone's minds and deemed fairy tales where we continue to be killed by a so-called knight.” You explained, running your finger over the glass. 
“Some dragons were able to survive Malivore but as soon as they shifted… They were taken. They disappeared and left no trace.” You turned to look at Hope. The redhead stayed silent, a frown etched on her face.
“I’m sorry you lost your father. We’re working on finding Malivore and when we do, there’s a chance you’ll be able to see your father again.” Hope said softly, gaze still trained on the sword. 
“Where’s your mother? Alaric mentioned she was a vampire.”
“I was never able to meet her but.. I believe she’s dead.” You walked around the case, looking back up at Hope. You locked eyes with her, hearing her clear her throat.
“I’m sure she would’ve wanted to be in your life.” Hope offered a small smile, nails gently tapping against the case. 
“Are you being nice to me cause you need to find out more about me?” You asked, head tilting. Hope cocked a brow, eyes rolling as she turned away from you.
“Alaric really doesn’t trust me, does he?”
“He trusts you more than I do, that’s for sure. It’s just too much of a coincidence for you, a dragon, to show up when we’re dealing with monster after monster. If it weren’t for Alaric, I would’ve already done a spell on you.” Hope said as she walked around the room, features hard and serious. 
“A little witch spell wouldn’t work on me. You haven’t been trained to deal with dragons. If I was really one of those monsters, why didn’t I burn the building down and search for whatever it is that you have?” You asked curiously. Hope didn’t answer, thinking for a moment.
“Because you’d need to know if it was hidden.”
“Alaric asked if I felt a pull to this place. I suppose that means I would feel a pull towards the artifact, right?” You slowly walked towards her, a soft chuckle leaving you.
“You can kick and scream all you want, Red. I’m here to stay, whether you like it or not.” You reached out, twirling a strand of her red hair around your finger. Hope grabbed your wrist, pushing your hand away.
“You’re up to something and I’m gonna figure out what it is.” Hope sneered, eyes narrowed. She turned around, walking towards the doors. She almost bumped into a man on her way out, quietly apologizing before moving past him. The man entered the room, clasping his hands together. 
“I’m Dorian Williams, the liberian and occasional substitute teacher.” Dorian introduced himself, finding a table and taking a seat. He motioned for you to sit across from him. You did so, taking a seat and crossing your arms as you eyed him.
“I’m gonna be honest with you, (Y/N). I do have some suspicions that you might be after the artifact but.. You’re a kid. A kid who lost their father and wants answers. I’m not here to interrogate you about your intentions.” Dorian explained, leaning back in his seat with his arms crossed. 
“Do the other students know what I am?” 
“News spread like wildfire here, especially amongst the students so.. Yes, most likely. I can assure you that you’ll be treated like any other student-”
“So, Hope goes around telling every student she’s gonna figure out what they’re up to? No wonder she’s not popular.” Dorian let out a small laugh, shaking his head.
“I promise Hope isn’t always like that. The monster problem we’ve been having has everyone on edge. Do.. Do you know anything about Malivore?” Dorian asked, sitting up and leaning forward. 
“I thought you weren’t gonna interrogate me.” You tilted your head, brow cocked. Dorian hummed softly, nodding. 
“Alright, we can talk about something else. The neck is a dragon's soft spot, right?”
“Depends.” You answered, licking your lips as you reached up to touch your necklace. 
“If a dragon is older and stronger, a hit to the neck isn’t gonna hurt them much. It might piss them off and they could lose their ability to speak or even stop them from breathing fire cause it’ll hurt to do so. We can still kill someone by stepping on them or snacking on them. We were on the top of the fucking food chain and humans just couldn’t deal with that.” 
“I’m not your enemy, (Y/N). I want to believe I can trust you. You’re a child and like all children, you need guidance. I see a lot of rage built up inside you. I can tell from the way you interacted with Hope and from what I heard. Landon and Rafael aren’t your enemies. They’re new and they have a rough past. The first dragon they met wanted to burn them into a pile of ashes so.. I’d say they’re being pretty welcoming.” Dorian held a soft yet stern gaze. It was obvious that he sympathized with you but at the same time, he wasn’t gonna deal with an attitude.
“Tell me about your father. What was he like?” Dorian asked softly. Your gaze dropped to the table, fingers squeezing around the key. 
“I’d appreciate it if everyone could stop talking about him as if he’s dead.” You breathed out, standing up abruptly as your eyes began to sting from tears.
“I don’t need to be welcomed into this school. I’ve been to high school before, I’m not some little kid whose hand needs to be held.” You walked out of the room, heading back to your dorm room. You entered the dorm, shutting the door behind you. You sniffled softly, walking towards the window and opening it. You stepped out, taking a seat on the roof. You brought your knees up to your chest, feeling the wind gently hitting your face. 
“The key to food is passion, remember that (Y/N).”
“I thought it was seasoning.” You grinned as you watched your father cook. He hummed, nodding with a chuckle.
“It is but food from a chef who feels no passion for it will taste bland and bitter. It’s the same with any other job. If you hate it, it’ll show and you’ll only hurt yourself. That’s why I always tell you to look for things you’re interested in.” (F/N) said, handing you a wooden spoon so you could help with stirring the soup.
“What was mom passionate about?”
“Your mother was.. She was a hurricane.” He began, sighing deeply. “She destroyed everything in her path and took down anyone in her way. Not many people have fond memories of her but I saw the good in her. I didn’t love her romantically but I considered her a good friend of mine. I’ll always be grateful to her for giving me the best gift a man could ever have.” You smiled widely, chuckling softly and rolling your eyes. (F/N) smiled softly, leaning over and pressing a kiss to your temple.
“No treasure could ever compare to you.” 
You bit your bottom lip, letting out a shaky sigh. You weren't used to being alone. Your father had always been there to back you up, to support you, and to provide comfort when you needed it.
“Christ, pull yourself together. You come from dragons and a psycho vampire.” You mumbled, carefully going back inside. You picked up the phone, turning it on and waiting for it to power on completely. You responded to a text, watching a call pop up. You clicked the green button and held the phone up to your ear.
“I thought you said it was stupid to be in contact.” You took a seat on the bed.
“Yeah, well, I was expecting you to be back by now. You do know your fathers return lies in your hands, right? Only I can help you get him back but I’ll only do that if you give me what I need.”
“I have a plan-”
“Speed up that plan before I change my mind, (Y/N). While you were on your way to the school, I bumped into some of your new friends. They were a redhead and an older man. I believe the girl went by the name Jessica but I doubt it was her real name.” You let out a deep sigh, head tilting upwards. Hope Mikaelson was gonna be a real pain in the ass.
“Yeah, I’ve met the redhead.” You breathed out, dropping your head and pinching the bridge of your nose. 
“I just need you to relax, Ryan. I’ve got it handled but I really don’t need you fucking things up for me. You just keep up your end of the deal and I’ll keep up mine. You might be able to save my father but I can also keep you from helping yours.”
“Is that a threat?”
“It’s a fact. Don’t bother me again unless it’s an emergency.” You pulled the phone away from your ear despite Ryan continuing to talk. You hung up and tossed the phone to the side, burying your face in your hands. 
“Am I paying for my mothers crimes?” You whispered. You flinched when you heard two knocks on the door, standing up and approaching it. You opened the door, staring at Josie.
“What do you want, baby face?” You asked with a frown, looking down at the ice cream tub in her hands. Josie’s brows furrowed at the nickname but she ignored it, choosing to raise the tub. 
“I.. I kind of eavesdropped on you and Dorian and saw you rush out. Ice cream always makes me feel better when I’m feeling down, so I brought you some.” Josie shrugged lightly. You blinked, opening your mouth but nothing came out. 
“If you don’t like ice cream then I could see if-”
“Thanks.” You cut her off, watching her relax and give a small smile. Josie nodded, perking up when you stepped aside so she could enter. Josie looked around the room, humming. 
“If you want, we could go shopping for some decorations tomorrow after school.” Josie said, moving one hand under her skirt as she sat down. You nodded, taking a seat beside her and subtly turning the phone off. Josie opened the lid of the tub, handing you a spoon and giving a small shy smile.
“Well, Welcome to Salvatore School. I’m pretty sure dad is still figuring out your class schedule.” 
“Dad?”
“Oh, uhm, the headmaster is my dad.” Josie shrugged, digging her spoon into the ice cream. Your brows raised, a small smile spreading across your face. 
“Really? You look nothing like him.. Which is a big compliment.” You grinned as Josie let out a soft giggle. Things were definitely starting to look up.
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pale-silver-comb · 5 years ago
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So I know absolutely nothing about Leverage except what I've been seeing you post lately and I have to admit you're making it look tempting to watch! Can I ask what are some of your favorite things about the show/reasons you would suggest people watch it? And is there really a poly relationship that is canon?
Okay. Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay. I am going to do my best not to just “asdfghkjl” at you and answer coherently.
In a nutshell, Leverage is about 5 people. 4 are criminals (Parker, Hardison, Eliot and Sophie) with different and unique skill-sets and 1 is an ex-insurance investigator (Nate) who, at one point or another in his career, has tracked down (or at least attempted to) the other 4. The whole show is essentially: man reluctantly reforms 4 criminals to use their criminal powers for good and 4 criminals move into man’s life and stubbornly refuse to leave because, goddammit, now they have morals. 
I’ve got a lot of favourite things about the show but the main ones are as follows:
1. Found family. And I’m not talking about loners who come together to fight crime and happen to co-exist to the point where they realise they happen to have found themselves a family. I mean, Nate and Sophie are the Drunk Uncle and Wine Aunt who somehow become Mom and Dad to 3 beautiful criminal children. Mom and Dad love their criminal babies and the kids love them (as well as each other, but we’ll come to that in a moment). You get amazing family moments such as: Mom and Dad packing the kids lunch before sending them out to kick corporate greed’s ass; Mom and Dad giving the kids ridiculously expensive and personal Christmas presents causing their most Grumpy Kid to go very very quiet and soft as he runs off to gleefully play with his new murder toy; the kids interrupting Mom and Dad’s big Movie Style Kiss to ask if they can please keep their new underground layer and huffing and puffing when Dad tells them no.
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2. Found family: the OT3 edition. To answer your question, the OT3 is indeed canon, confirmed by the creator. Now, usually, “confirmed by the creator” infuriates me because most of the time it’s a way for a creator to be seen as “progressive” without doing anything to actually be progressive. That isn’t the case here. The OT3 are built up carefully and while it is obvious the creators didn’t originally intend for all 3 of them to become a relationship in the romantic sense, by mid-season 5 we are given a very clear picture of where Parker, Hardison and Eliot are heading in their relationship. There aren’t any kisses at the end to signal this but there are solid marriage vows in not only one but two episodes. (And by marriage vows I mean literal equivalents of marriage vows: “for better or worse” and “’til death do us part”. I’m not even exaggerating). The OT3 also doesn’t need explicit romantic narratives to convey how much they love each other. Their love is laced through the whole show, from the way they teach each other things to the way they respond to each other and work as a unit. The way they fiercely protect and admire each other. Like someone once said, if you need characters to kiss or say I love you to let the audience know they love each other, you are writing them wrong. 
Aside from that, each of the parings in the OT3 are just. Gah. They are so well done, with friendship being the solid basis for them all. The creators never expect the audience to assume anything about them or fill in the gaps. They give us their relationships on screen and reference many things off-screen to show us how these relationships continue to build in between episodes.
Hardison and Parker are a canon couple and date in the show: it’s approached slowly and they are so goddamned sweet. They are basically every fluffy slow-burn trope with a healthy dash of mutual pining in the mix. They are basically that quote “love is patient, love is kind”. (I would like to add their romance never becomes the focus of the show or overrides the importance of any other relationship they have with the other characters, especially Eliot.)
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Hardison and Eliot are the Old Married Couple and from day one are already bickering and looking at each other/making comments that are found in every UST fic ever (not to mention Hardison has a very good knack for making Eliot grin like a little kid, when usually he’s basically an Angry Little Chef Man). They argue, they play, and love each other plain as day. 
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Parker and Eliot are more subtle but every bit as wonderful. They have an unspoken connection and understand each other on a level no-one else can. Parker and Eliot are not good with giving themselves over to affection for different reasons (and Hardison plays a central role in helping them realise it’s okay to want it and have it- that boy has endless patience) but there is something so beautiful in the way the two of them come together on their own and develop their own special bond that works for them. Parker and Eliot are that trope where the characters don’t need to speak to understand each other perfectly. They just do. Their love language is a lot of the time non-verbal but speaks volumes. (Parker also likes to annoy the hell out of Eliot and Eliot....just.....lets...her. Because he’s soft. The softest, grumpiest boy.) 
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I could go into so much depth for each pairing and their dynamics as a 3 but that's for another post.
3. Subverting stereotypes. There is the occasional hiccup in the show regarding stereotypes but ultimately, Leverage gets an A+ when it comes to writing characters and making them 3 dimensional people who are not defined by certain characteristics or events. Nate could so easily fall into the White Man Pain trope where he uses the trauma of losing his kid as a reason as to why he is entitled to act like a dick. Nate is a dick but he doesn’t use his pain to excuse it and I appreciate that. Hardison is a black man who is soft and nurturing. Easily the most empathetic and patient of the group. He’s nerdy, an actual genius, and has the biggest heart of all the characters. Nate is maybe the glue but Hardison is definitely the heart. Media’s usual aggressive, amongst other, racist stereotypes can fuck right off. Parker is canonically autistic (I am sure this was confirmed by one of the creators) and she is not defined by it. It’s not written as some kind of singular personality trait. It’s part of what makes up Parker but it’s only one facet of who she is and not once is her actions, thoughts or feelings treated like a joke. Sometimes people don’t understand why she does and says the things she does but it’s met with patience and fondness over the course of the show. Equally, it’s not met with over-caution. Parker is just Parker. No-one tries to change her. The other nice thing is Hardison, who always makes sure Parker knows she’s amazing because of who she is and not in spite of it. Finally, Sophie is in her 40s. She’s not treated like she’s past her prime. Ever. She’s sexy, smart and never is she pitted against or compared to Parker (who is younger) for anything. Sophie is amazing and there’s never even a conversation of “I may be older but I am still *insert adjective typically associated with younger women here*”. Sophie is possibly the first female character I’ve ever seen who isn’t just unapologetic about her age but has never had to apologise for her age. It’s a non-issue and that’s that. The women on the show are written so well, right down to secondary characters and it’s beyond refreshing.  
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4.) It’s just fun. The show has a “monster of the week” type format. Except instead of a ghoul or a ghost, the monster is some corrupt wealthy and powerful individual or organisation. The show draws on real-life individuals to do this and therefore closely parallels real-life people and events. It addresses important political, economical, social and environmental issues while at the same time remaining fun and light-hearted. The characters constantly get the chance to play dress up and by GOD do they have fun with it. You get to watch Eliot beat up bad guys in the most delightful of ways, usually after a witty non-sequitur and with a weapon you’d never think could be a weapon. The dialogue and back and forth between the characters is everything. And finally - my favourite thing- the team can never resist striking a dramatic pose after they’ve taken down the bad guy, making sure the bad guy sees them. I mean, they COULD just walk away, satisfied they’ve taken the person down, but nope. They gotta be dramatic bitches 24/7 and pose like they are models for every single month of this year’s Criminal Calendar.  
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5.) Competence Porn. So. Much. Competence Porn.  
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Honestly, I could list a thousand reasons for why Leverage is amazing but to list them would to be spoiling so many amazing moments you’d get to discover for the first time on your own if you do choose to watch it. It’s the kind of show you can watch with an eagle-eye and sink your teeth into. But it’s also the kind of show if, you would prefer, put on in the background for something entertaining while you do something else. Each episode is about the job at hand but it’s made up of so many moments between the characters that show how much the creators and writers care about them. You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, you’ll do whatever it is you do when something Soft and Wonderful happens that makes your heart melt. I am so beyond grateful for Leverage. It’s everything I always wanted in a show. Nearly every show I’ve watched in the past 10 years has disappointed me in some way, usually either because the writers run out of steam or characters who I love are treated poorly or given some kind of unnecessary “shock value” arc. Leverage doesn’t do that. Leverage is what it says on the bottle. Fandom isn’t something I joined because I needed canon fix-its. Fandom only enhances and celebrates an already excellent canon. 
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baku-bowl · 3 years ago
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broke 1,000 followers (the fuck? I don't even make content people), so decided to write up a list of some (but not all, I'll make other lists later) of my favorite Bakugou-centric fic recs. my tastes run towards hurt/comfort, as you'll probably figure from the list. if there are some Baku-centric fics that you've enjoyed that aren't on here, please add them - this is definitely not a complete list of the ones I've read and love, but I'm always up for some recs. <3
fair warning, most of these are wips.
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Social Media 101 by WindsChild8178
Part 1: Survival Guide to Fucking Up
[Solely Bakugou’s point of view]
Katsuki Bakugou doesn’t have a gentle bone in his body. He’s aggressive in everything he does and does everything with 100% of his heart in it. After the Sport’s Festival, Katsuki starts to get harassed by strangers for his unheroic demeanor. It starts with letters but it doesn’t end there. The moment Katsuki realizes the harassment has entered dangerous territory and he needs to tell someone, it’s already too late.
Part 2: Post Traumatic Life Disorder
[Point of View opens up to Bakugou, teachers and classmates]
When the Dorms are finally built, everyone is settling in well, but things become tense as people begin to realize something isn’t right with the recently rescued Bakugou.
[Cannon compliant right up to after the License Exam]
hands down my favorite fic in the fandom right now. it’s the one that converted me into a Bakugou lover. if you have any fondness for Bakugou as a character then it’s likely you’ve read this one already, but if not, I can’t recommend it enough. incredibly depressing, but with the hope that comfort is coming soon in the next few chapters.
The Kids Will Be Alright, Eventually by NotWithThatAttitude
Bakugou is spiraling in the aftermath of Kamino and his friends are starting to notice. He's stubborn, aggressively independent, and less than willing to dig into his past, but after a breakdown that ends with a painful secret revealed, he starts to get help.
Whether he likes it or not.
Meanwhile, a new kind of villain threatens an uneasy peace following the loss of Allmight. Whispers build as a new narrative slowly takes shape:
Hero society needs to change.
Feat. Therapy, Dadzawa, best boy Kirishima, dysfunctional families, healing, growing up, and the mortifying ordeal of being known
guys.. the medical accuracy of this fic is just... *chef’s kiss*
I rarely see mental health genuinely handled well in fics, but this one goes above and beyond. kudos to the author for doing such excellent research into psychology, and making the application of it in here not-boring. also, while this one does have abusive!Mitsuki, it’s done in a way that feels realistic, and how I usually will see it occur in real life, rather than just for the hurt/comfort feels.
fair warning, the fic can be incredibly triggering (themes of severe depression, PTSD, panic attacks, rape survival, abuse survival, suicidal ideation/attempted suicide, among other things), so be safe and heed the tw’s if you decide to read. legitimately one of my Top Favorite fics in this fandom.
Lock and Key by autochorystalize
Bakugou made a choked, gravelly noise before croaking out a low, “You can’t be serious.” His fingers ached to blow up everything in the room.
“I’m sorry, young man, but you can’t change reality! This sometimes happens.” Recovery Girl clicked through his file, adding a new symbol in a previously empty slot.
- - -
A pair of eyes discreetly locked on to an explosive blond plowing his way forward, parting people in his path. He recognized the kid, of course. Anyone in the underbelly of society would recognize him, after the publicity of both UA’s Sports Festival and the events leading up to All Might’s fall. The uniform he was wearing cast away any doubts about the young man’s identity.
It was a bit of a surprise that the little firecracker presented as an omega.
- - - - - - - - -
Or: there are certain types of evil that seemed too distant, archaic violations and perversions that would never actually threaten bright-eyed heroes-in-training in the clean, modern world...but sometimes those evils aren't as distant as one might think.
remember when I said that I love a/b/o fics that are full of plot and world-building and gender-induced tension? that’s this one. the OC’s are fabulous and you love to hate ‘em. also, it’s the fic that made me fall head-over-heels for the TodoBaku dynamic, so it’s got a special place in my cold, dead heart. 
be warned, there are rather explicit non-con scenes between an adult (OC) and a minor (Bakugou) in this one, but the author warns for them in advance, and you could likely skip those parts without missing too much if you need to.
Never and Always, Eventually by Wawa_Boonliang
"Katsuki can remember the exact moment that he and Deku…that he and Midoriya Izuku became friends. He can also remember the moment he and Izuku became fierce rivals, a time when they were almost enemies.
However, what he remembers most clearly about their relationship is the moment that they moved passed rivals and became something more close than mere friends. Something more like brotherhood, something forged in fire and secured in the middle of a battlefield or in the midst of natural disaster where the number of the dead was climbing ever higher. And then it was torn from him."
Katsuki is given a second chance. A chance to save everyone. A chance to change everything.
But should he?
y’all. I’m a slutty, slutty whore for time travel fics. a time travel fic with autistic!coded Bakugou? it was love at first read.
Lessons Learned by Sif (Rosae)
Rather than the police station, Katsuki's friends bring him to a hospital after rescuing him from the villains. His wounds were minor, but it didn't make having them treated any less important. As it would so happen, Best Jeanist was also brought to this hospital after the attack.
Sometimes, small choices have a big impact on how a story plays out.
classic Bakugou hurt/comfort. this fic opened me up to the potential that could be a genuinely good Best Jeanist & Katsuki mentor-mentee relationship, and I kind of dig it and search ravenously for it in other fics now. I’m also a huge fan of the behind-the-scences Pro Hero Chat group.
Slope by sunfleurmoon
“I’m not a hero. Or a good person,” Katsuki says, giving Aizawa a pointed look, “So leave me alone. I don’t care about the League or UA, or you—” The two years he’s been away have been fine, more than fine, fucking fantastic actually if you ignore the bi-monthly near-death experiences. He doesn’t need this place. He doesn’t miss this place.
And yet, longing, a childish desire to tear up, or maybe blow something to bits, they all twist in his chest like a band of traitors regardless. “—I just want to go home.”
Or: the one where Katsuki and Izuku fail the first term exam, Aizawa discovers their pasts, and Katsuki is booted from UA. Featuring questionable descriptions of villain organizations, a slightly illegal moving shop, and your favorite emotionally constipated badass in distress with a newly discovered penchant for collecting strays.
paaaaaaiiiiiiiin. the hurt is ALIVE in this one. lots of tortured, angsty exploding child goodness. the OC’s are excellently crafted, and the Bakugou & Eri relationship? beautiful. definitely deserves a read.
Ground Zero by WindsChild8178
In the wake of Kamino, Katsuki is tested more than anyone could imagine. Bound by a villain’s quirk to keep his silence or die, he lives each day knowing it might very well be his last. He continues to work towards becoming a hero, keeping his secret from his classmates and teachers, focusing on making it through each day and trying not to allow the panic or depression to get the best of him. When the villain finally corners him with demands in exchange for his life, there is really only one answer Katsuki Bakugou can give.
honestly don't know which I want updated more - social media 101 or ground zero. this author's fics are amazing, and I really wasn't expecting the twist in this one. can't wait for windschild to come back to this fic some day.
The Defect by LadyGreenFrisbee
"Why do you want to win the Sports Festival so badly?" 
Because I want to see if the defect could usurp the masterpiece.
(In which Endeavor holds a terrible secret and Bakugo has to suffer since childhood for it.)
a great concept, and I adore the shouto and Katsuki sibling interaction here. hoping the author will come back to this one some day.
A Name That You'll Remember by Heronfem
Kirishima Eijirou is a Hero. Bakugou Katsuki... is not. Trapped in his toxic workplace and increasingly desperate to get out, Red Riot's days are only brightened by a new villain known as Caution, who's not exactly villainous and keeps accidentally doing good deeds. But when a real villain appears, a threat from the past that demands that Red Riot make the ultimate sacrifice to keep the public safe, Bakugou is forced into saving the day... and eventually, Red Riot himself.
sob story good guy villains are my weakness, this fic is a gem, and I'd kill for the sequel.
Our Hero by AnonymousTwit
He felt everything jerk to the side and throw his balance off before he saw anything, dust clouding his vision and irritating his lungs as the earth itself opened up to swallow them whole. For a single moment, in a millisecond's time, his wild eyes locked with Raccoon Eyes', hers alight with fear and adrenaline-fueled desperation. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he realized that it was the first time she'd looked at him with something other than long-deserved hatred in days.
And then he was free falling.
Or
After a particularly nasty encounter between childhood friends, the class learns about Bakugou and Midoriya's dark history and practically ostracizes Bakugou while trying to defend Midoriya. An earthquake during an outing has all sides regretting their decisions.
just fucking tear apart my self-sacrificing faves in every way imaginable while their loved ones watch on in terror. 💖🥰💖 this one is heavy on the Bakusquad and Class-1A feels, and VERY heavy on the Mina & Bakugou relationship (platonic).
Running back the tape, watching it replay by Faralyne
For someone ripped from their time, ripped from the few but strong relationships built by time and personal development, by self-reflection and swallowed pride, ripped from the one thing that made him feel worthwhile and needed and put-together, and forced to forge everything over again—Katsuki thinks he is handling it pretty fucking well.
Or
A villain’s quirk sends a 29-year-old Bakugou back in time to his middle school days.
am I a sucker for time travel? yes. am I a sucker for vigilante!bakugou? also yes. am I a sucker for this fic? literally refreshing the page in wait for an update as we speak.
Liability by sandelf
After All-Might dies rescuing Bakugou from the League, Bakugou is determined to prove it wasn't for nothing.
But the world is against him, his grief is overwhelming, and his stability is splitting at the edges.
very self-indulgent bakugou angst. tw for harassment, severe depression, and suicidality.
Special Mentions:
How To Win The Sport Festival: A Step By Step Guide by mhwright
Short re-imagining of the Sports Festival Arc if Shinso had planned a little better and worked a little harder to win the Sports Festival and if the match-ups had been slightly different. Self-indulgent fic of watching him succeed.
this is completely Shinsou-centric, not Bakugou-centric, but I love and adore it and am dying for a sequel. Shinsou is Best Boy here and you'll be rooting for him the whole time.
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bl00dgutsgl0ry · 4 years ago
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ahh i’ve read all ur childe fics and they are absolutely amazing 🥺 i also live for angst and the way you portray ur characters emotions is emasculate *chefs kiss* is it possible if i may request an angsty childe fic where his s/o feels betrayed after finding out hes only been with her as part of the fatui’s plans but throughout the process childe actually falls in love and never meant to hurt them? and pls a fluffy ending bc my heart can’t take angst 🥺👉🏻👈🏻
Pairing - Childe/Tartaglia/Ajax x Reader
Warnings - Spoilers for Childe’s background.
Other Comments - Hello!! I am so glad that you are enjoying my stuff! I never would have imagined that I would receive so much positive feedback as I just started doing this but everyone has welcomed me with open arms hehe!!  (//▽//) Anyway you are in luck because I absolutely love writing angst so lets go! Also these are heavily inspired by the songs Decode and All I Wanted by Paramore so I kinda recommend listening to them while you read. (๑˘︶˘๑)
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      Everyone you have encountered along your journey have been so friendly; all of them going out of their way to assist you. You have gained many friends along your way which have caused you to become quite a trusting person, to a fault at this point. Every person you have met with try their best to help you with your journey and leave a lingering friendship which you are incredibly grateful for. When you first decided you wanted to become an adventurer, your parents were extremely apprehensive, not trusting the world around you. You were determined to prove them wrong, and so far you have. 
      You had decided you wanted to settle down in Liyue for a while, exhausted from the constant traveling. This way you were always able to stay close around the Adventurers Guild. Along your journey of living in Liyue you had continued to meet many lovely and helpful people; one being a tall copper headed man. 
      During your travel and adventuring you had started to become a fairly big name, as you were incredibly skilled and managed to help save Mondstadt on a variety of occasions; even getting to know the grand master of the Knights of Favonius. So when a tall young man approached you, already knowing your name you weren’t all too surprised. You had already settled down into your small cozy apartment when he had come up to you.
      “Excuse me, you don’t happen to be (y/n) do you?” You looked up, your eyes meeting bright blue ones as you found the owner of the soothing voice.
      “Oh uh, yes that’s me. Is there something I can help you with?” A pleasant smile graced your face as the tall man gave a polite smile back before continuing. 
      “I was wondering if you could assist me with a domain, I seem to be having a bit more trouble with it than I had expected. I’ve heard you’re one of the best out there right now.” Your face flushed, something about this man was so endearing, and helping him out couldn’t be too hard, you had been able to defeat most of the domains in the area anyway so why not?
      “Sure, I’d be more than happy to help you out! Are you an adventurer like I am?” You heard Childe let out a low chuckle.
      “Oh no I am a Fatui Harbinger.” Wait- did he just say he was a Harbinger? You didn’t know much about the Fatui, but what you did know and have heard from other people was that the Fatui were always bad news. He didn’t seem like what everyone was saying though.
      “Well then, when would you like to go?”
      That was the beginning of your relationship with the Harbinger. After that you two both seemed to get along surprisingly well, and you found yourself struggling to stop seeing him. He was always on your mind, and with him almost always being around you that wasn’t helping either.
      “So, where shall we go today darling?” Childe had decided to take up space in your already cramped apartment, not that you were complaining. It had been about six months since you had settled down in Liyue and you decided it was finally time to start traveling again. You had formed a really close connection with Childe, he always seemed to be your savior in situations that you needed it. You hoped that Childe would come along with you, but part of you had a feeling that he had to stay here for some reason.
      “Well I was thinking I would go back to traveling again, I have stayed for about half a year so I think it’s time.” The smile that always seemed to find its place on Childe face quickly dropped, and you saw something change for a split second before returning back to normal.
      “Oh well if that’s what you want then I am not going to stop you, but I can no longer accompany you, you better leave as soon as possible though.” Now what could he have said that for. 
      “So you can cover as much ground of course!” Childe must’ve picked up on your questioning gaze when he said that, as a reassuring smile found its way back to his face.
      “I suppose you’re right, I need to say goodbye to the friends that I’ve made here though. Could you help me pack my things while I go do that?” A strong nod came from Childe before you granted yourself permission to leave.
      It took you longer than you had anticipated to track down and say goodbye to all of the friends you had made here and Liyue, which you could blame Xiangling for as she made sure to make plenty of your favourite dishes for your trip.
      As you approached your building you saw the back of the boy you knew so well, duck into a dark alley. Something could’ve been wrong, so to make sure he was okay you quietly followed a little ways behind. 
      “Are you deaf or just stupid? Your job was to get close to the dumb bitch and then bring them in. What is taking so long are you kidding?” A shorter man with a large hat was currently talking to Childe, surely they couldn’t be talking about you.
      “Listen I know what my orders were, I was just waiting for a good time.” Childe’s voice was quite and his eyes were focused on the ground.
      “If they’re leaving today, you better hope that they are still in Liyue for your own well being.” With that the shorter man quickly turned away and stormed off. So it was all a setup. Everything they did and talked about... All the things he told you... You as you were backing away in disbelief your shoe scuffed against the ground, causing Childe to whip around, those once familiar blue eyes meeting yours blowing out wide.
      “(Y/n) wait-” You didn’t let him finish before you took off sprinting up to your apartment, hoping to get up there and lock yourself in. Was he going to kill you for over hearing?
      You tripped a couple times going up the stairs hoping to the gods that you would still have enough time to shut and lock your door, all the while Childe was behind you begging for you to stop, for you to come back. Relief washed over you as your eyes found your door, adrenaline still pumping wildly through you. 
      “Please please please gods let me in!” You franticly attempted to unlock your door, the adrenaline making you shaky causing you to miss the keyhole. Your feverish prayers were answered when you flung the front door open, Childe’s loud footsteps pounding against the floor behind you. Right as you were slamming the door closed Childe’s body flew against the door, causing it to swing back open, hitting you in the process and tossing you to the ground; knocking the wind out of you.
      Childe stood over you, panting as he tried to catch his breath. Was this the end? Were you going to die? Your wild eyes found his, the fear in them causing him to falter. He never wanted to see fear in your eyes, especially not because of him. The darkness of the night made it hard to see, the only light spilling in from the hallway through your open front door, spotlighting your face and the tears you had falling down your cheeks. You don’t remember when you started crying but it was obvious now. Neither of you spoke for a while, not knowing what to say. It was clear that Childe wasn’t going to kill you, but that still left a plethora of issues.
      “You...” You began to speak, your voice shaky and uncertain. Childe’s eyes silently begged for you to stop.
      “You took advantage of me. Everything was a lie. Was anything that came out of your mouth true?!” Sadness and anger flushed your face and you slowly rose to your feet.
      “(Y/n) please... I never meant for it to go on this long.” That didn’t help his situation, that sentence having the same effect of putting water on an oil fire. Anger bloomed from your chest, almost making it hard to breathe.
      “I trusted you! I guess this is all my fault for putting my trust into a Fatui Harbinger! Childe’s not even your real name! I know NOTHING about you!! And... and I let you stay with me! Keep me company! I let you put your filthy hands on me! You kissed me!!” Tears began to spill faster, but not just from you this time.
      “(Y/n) please my feelings and actions towards you were no lies!! I admit this was all set up, but then I began to truly fall in love with you!! You have to believe me!” A loud broken laugh escaped your lips, almost like a bark.
      “Believe you?! Again I don’t even know your real name-”
      “Tartaglia.” This stopped you in your tracks, you couldn’t quite make sense of what he said.
      “What?” Your words were barely above a whisper.
      “My name. It’s Tartaglia. My family calls me Ajax. I am the 11th Harbinger of the Fatui. I moved to Liyue as a debt collector. I don’t want to be in the Fatui, not ever since I met you. You knew who the Fatui were and still chose to trust me. No one except my family has ever looked at me the way you do. I am from Snezhnaya. My birthday is July 20th. I enjoy ice fishing and combat. I have many siblings, a couple younger brothers named Teucer and Anthony and I have a sister named Tonia. See? You know so much more now!” You couldn’t bring yourself to say anything, you just stared at him. Childe or Tartaglia rather, was clearly getting anxious at your silence, as he shifted around more or fiddled with his gloves. He was normally so confident, so seeing him like this was shocking.
      “(Y/n) please, say something; anything.” The desperation in his voice made your chest tighten. What could you say? On one hand you wanted to just forgive him and fall into his arms, on the other hand he had completely destroyed your trust; were you really willing on forgiving him that easily?
      “Childe... I...” You could see Tartaglia flinch, not used to the tone of his code name on you tongue. He wanted so desperately for you to just say his real name. He wanted to embrace you, for you to forgive him. He would find a way out of this for the both of you. 
      “(Y/n) I will help you. I fell in love with you. I knew the second I set my eyes on you that I say going to fall for you. I will get you out of this situation, I have to. I know it’s stupid to say this now, but you have to trust me on this. After I get you out of here is when you can hit me scream at me and tell me never to see you again. I just need to make sure you’re safe.” You couldn’t hold yourself back anymore as you began to cry again. Tartaglia stepped close to you, slowly to make sure that you had a way to back up if you didn’t want him to get closer. When you didn’t move he took that as an ‘okay’ to get close, and that’s what he did.
      Slowly the distance between the two of you closed as Tartaglia sunk to his knees and clung to you. His hold on you was iron tight, as he waited and hoped for you to return the hold; which much to his surprise you did. You clung to him and cried. 
      “I will make you trust me again (y/n). I will make you trust me and I will keep you safe. You have my word. I love you.”
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bangtansocean · 3 years ago
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Letters: Part 01.
Synopsis: Good things never last long, and unfortunately, his promises were a little too good to be true.
⏤𝚙𝚊𝚒𝚛𝚒𝚗𝚐: taehyung x reader // slight yoongi x reader
⏤ au: [Historical Fiction, soulmates au]
⏤𝚐𝚎𝚗𝚛𝚎: Heavy Angst, smut, fluff
⏤𝚠𝚊𝚛𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚜: mature content [18+]
⏤Word count: 3.1 K
Chapters: 01 l 02 l 03
click here to go back to master list
___________________
___________________
“With love, Taehyung.”
Fragile hands slowly fold the dainty piece of paper back into its envelope as you let out a disappointed sight. At least he is doing okay, you try to convince yourself. Deep inside, you were very happy for Taehyung. He was given the opportunity everyone dreams of, working for the royal family. Since you two were little, Taehyung would always talk about his dreams and go over all the plans he had for you both.
“...And when I’m older, I’m going to become friends with the royal family, the prince and I are going to be like brothers.” nine year-old Taehyung tells you with a smirk, squeezing your hand as you walk through the field of daisies on your way back home.
“They are going to give me a title, and some land! From there, I will be able to build us a house where we can move in together! But I have to ask your mom if we can get married first, of course.” He teasingly bumps his shoulder to yours as you giggle, being flustered by his words. “You look so beautiful when you get all shy and your cheeks get rosy.” He says sweetly, looking at your now red face that’s gazing at the ground you are walking on, too afraid to look into his eyes that seem to carry the entire universe.
Taehyung has been your friend ever since you have memory, and he has been your crush since then, too. You went to the same park and lived fairly close to each other. Your mothers were friends, and they would always take you to the market to buy candy and new books for Taehyung. He would always invite you over so he could read you his favorite books, and even taught you how to read and write; which is something you were very thankful for, since girls were not allowed to go to school in your area, and you eventually grew a big passion for reading thanks to him.
“You know, y/n.” little taehyung starts, letting your hand go to pick some flowers from the field, and giving them to you with a small grin but a very serious gaze. “I want to be with you for the rest of my life,” he says, now smiling, showing you a smile that had some teeth missing. “I want to take care of you, and make you happy. To be by your side in any shape or form,” you can feel the tears starting to build up in your eyes.
Taehyung and you were so young, yet you felt so much love and care for each other it was overwhelming at times. How could such small bodies carry so much emotion? How could you feel so in love at only eight years old? “ I-...I just want to make sure you always have a smile on your face. You look so pretty when you smile.” he continues as he reaches to dry the tear that has fallen from your glistening eyes. Rubbing his thumb delicately on your cheek, he wipes the tears off your face with a comforting smile. “You deserve to be happy, and cherished and taken care of... like a princess!” he exclaims with a lighter tone, making you smile while you rest your cheek on his hand.
“You told me I was already a princess.” you pout, making his heart skip a beat.
“And you are one” he says as he leans closer, leaving a tender kiss on your cheek. “You’re my princess.” he whispers close to your ear. He meets your eyes once again, sealing his confessions with one look, you know, he really means it. “But one day, I’ll make you a real princess, and I’ll be by your side when it happens, I promise.” He reaches out to hold your hand once again as you continue to walk back home, the comfortable silence filling the space between you two all the way to your doorstep.
“y/n, dinner’s ready!” the faint voice of your mother brought you back to reality. You took one last glance at the envelope before placing it inside the dark green box, next to his other twenty three letters he has written you since he left, five months ago.
You close your eyes for a second and shake your head trying to get out of your soppy thoughts and emotional state. You took a few deep breaths trying to calm yourself a little, knowing your mother will bombard you with a thousand questions about Taehyung, and the last thing you wanted to do was cry in front of her.
Once you felt strong enough for what was coming, you left your room and walked the long hallway towards the kitchen. Your mother is humming a song while she serves the cold bean soup she made on two bowls, turning to you when she feels your presence in the room.
“How's Taehyung doing? Everything alright?” she asks, concerned look on her face.
“He’s alright, you know he always dreamed about working for the royal family, so he is doing really well, he even became close to the prince.” you tell your mother excited. Your mother smiles at the news, giving you a plate of soup and pointing towards the table, taking the other plate with her and sitting right across from you.
“Oh thank heavens!” your mother laughs. “I knew Taehyung was always destined to be someone big! Next thing we know, Prince Yoongi will grant him a lord title!” she laughs again, shaking her head in disbelief. “I always knew he was eager to be the best he could be, but I never thought he would make it so soon!” your mother is now blabbing about all the crazy plans Taehyung had shared with your mom throughout the years. You can’t really focus on what exactly she is saying, but you keep nodding at her while you eat your food. “...I can’t wait for you two to get married, you are going to give me the loveliest grandchildren any old woman could ask for!” you choked on your food as she looked at you with a hopeful gaze.
“Mom!” You cough trying to recover from her last comment.
“I’m just saying!  Taehyung is a very handsome guy, I’m surprised you guys haven’t tied the knot and sealed the deal yet, if you know what I mean.” She winks at you while she takes a spoonful of soup to her mouth that is now decorated with a perverted grin.
“Mother!” you gasp at her bold statement, dramatically dropping your spoon on your plate. Your cheeks turn a scarlet shade.
“I’m just joking!” she laughs. “I’m glad you guys are waiting until marriage, I think it's very honorable of both of you to do so.” she says on a higher pitch mocking you once again, but this time, instead of replying, you just nod. You feel your body heat up from the embarrassment as you slowly take the spoon to your mouth, humming as a response to her words without taking your eyes off your soup.
She knows you guys have had sex, or at least have taken things further than a few innocent kisses. Your mother is a very smart woman, and you, a terrible liar. There have been many times she heard Taehyung's laugh coming from inside your room at unholy hours, followed by you waking up the next morning with multiple ‘mosquito bites’ all over your neck and chest. She has always rooted for the two of you to end up together, and out of all the guys in town who have tried to court you, Taehyung is her favourite.
“Good thing you are going to be able to see him soon, don’t you think?” she asks you, looking at you with soft teary eyes. Is she going to cry? You try to analyze her words and the question takes you by surprise. What does she mean by soon? You frown in confusion.
“But he is not coming to town until next month…” you tell her quietly, moving your soup around the plate with the spoon, quickly losing your appetite. She would never joke about this kind of thing, would she?... No, she wouldn’t. Your mother was a crazy lady, but she would never play with your emotions like this.
She sees the distress in your face as you try to understand her last statement. Abruptly, she stands up from the table and slowly turns to grab the handful of letters that came in earlier today, Taehyung’s letter being one of the ones that arrived within that same batch. Your mother takes a golden envelope from the bunch and stretches her hand towards you.
“Taehyung’s letter is not the only thing that came in today for you.” she shakes the envelope in her hands, inviting you to take it.
Still confused, you take the envelope and slowly open the fine and expensive paper that was decorated with golden detailing on the corners, only to be found with a letter addressed to you.
“Dear Miss y/f/n”
It is with great honor that we contact you to inform you that we have received your application letter, and to congratulate you for being selected to work in the royal kitchen as our new maid and kitchen helper.
We hope to see you around the castle before the week is over, so you can start your training. We look forward to meeting you, and to have you in court to serve our beloved royal family.
Safe travels and see you soon,
The Royal Kitchen.
___________________ ___________________
“If you have any questions or need anything, come find me in my chambers, but only if it's before 2am, after that I can’t guarantee I’ll be of much help!” you both giggle. “Welcome to the team Miss y/n, I’m excited to have you around.” Seokjin exclaims as he finalises the kitchen tour.
“Thank you so much, Chef.” you bow as he turns around and walks towards the oven, where today’s bread is being baked for lunch.
“Oh darling, call me Seokjin.  We are basically bound together for the rest of our lives now, we better get comfortable with each other.” he winks at you and laughs when he sees you looking around the kitchen, not knowing what to do as you hesitate to offer your help. He can read right through you, so he decides to talk again.
“Hey, Jimin.” Seokjin calls the guy who had just finished stocking the bags of rice in the kitchen storage. He turns around with a smile, wiping his sweat from his forehead with the back of his wrist.
“Yes, sir!” Jimin exclaims jokingly as he mimics a soldier's salute. Seokjin loud laugh blasts again through your ears. This man's laugh could kill a whole army by how powerful it is. Seokjin shakes his head at his best friend's antics, throwing his towel over his shoulder.
“Why don’t you show y/n around? maybe take her to a quick tour around the gardens before we have to go upstairs to serve the royal lunch, then we can show her around the castle together.” He shifts in his place, feeling a little anxious, hoping Jimin will show you around and help you get more familiar with the castle. Jimin 's eyes sparkle at Jin’s offer. He's excited with the idea of getting to know you more, and hopefully making a new friend in the castle, which makes him smile even wider.
“Would you like that?” Jimin turns to you with a smile plastered on his lips, waiting for your answer. You nod and smile back as Jimin shakes his fists excitedly like a little kid which makes you and Jin laugh. He is so adorable. “Well then, let’s not waste more time!” he walks towards you and interlocks your arms together once you are close enough. He guides your bodies towards the kitchen’s back entrance. “See you in a few hyung, bye!” he waves his arm without looking back at Seokjin, who is too concentrated on decorating dessert to notice you guys leave.
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“And this is where most of the soldiers practice combat, the little house to the right is where most of the weaponry is,” he points at the little white room that is protected by multiple security guards, a few servants walking in and out of the place. “That's basically all there is. There’s also the royal garden over there,” he points to the left where you can see a small path that leads to a golden gate that’s decorated by a few roses. “But we are not allowed to go in unless, ofcourse, we get invited by the royal family.” he shrugs his shoulders as you nod once again, trying to process all the information Jimin has given you the last 10 minutes you’ve been walking around the gardens.
The sudden sound of the rosy gate makes you both turn around again. Jimin's eyes grow bigger, and he immediately bows. He greets the people who are walking towards where you are standing, and it takes you too long to realise that the two tall handsome men are walking your way. He hits your elbow a few times trying to get you to react and bow too, but you are unable to move because of the hazel eyes that now look at you with a shocked expression, not believing the sight right in front of them.
“y/n?” Taehyung's voice comes out in a higher pitch, almost sounding like a squeal. He finds himself in an internal turmoil. He wants to throw himself at you and hold you in his arms, but he is too scared to even move, thinking you are a product of his imagination and you could disappear as soon as he tries to approach you. Why were you here?
“You must be new in the castle,” The voice next to Taehyung causes you to snap your head towards the other man, a very handsome and tall man that is smiling brightly at you. “I’m-...”
“Your majesty, please forgive her. She must be in disbelief to be in your presence.” Jimin blurs out rapidly, making the handsome man laugh as Jimin bows repeatedly, clearly scared that your ignorance could cost you both your lives.
“It’s okay Jimin, you don’t have to apologise for her.” He turns to you again as he smiles and bows to you. Both Taehyung and Jimin watch the scene unfold before then, not believing their eyes. Jimin shakes his head, unable to understand the situation, why is the prince bowing to you? “I’m Min Yoongi, it’s a pleasure to meet you, Miss y/n.”
You recognise the name, and you curse at yourself, your first day here and you already fucked up, great job y/n.
“Your majesty!" you exclaim, your voice coming out little louder than expected. "I apologise for my rudeness, it won’t happen again.” You bow, cursing at yourself in your head once again. You can’t bow forever, can you?  You sigh as you find the courage to stand straight to face him, you feel your face heating up, your cheeks now tinted red from the embarrassment. “It’s such an honour to meet you.” your voice comes out in a whisper.
Yoongi laughs once again. She’s cute, he thinks. “It’s an honour to meet you too y/n,” he repeats. “And call me Yoongi, please. Let’s be comfortable around each other from now on.” He winks at you as you feel your body heat rise once again. Is the prince flirting with you? Right in front of everyone? Jimin feels like he is about to faint. Has he missed some important information about you? Why did Taehyung know your name? and why is Yoongi being so casual with you?
“Thank you, your ma-... I mean, Yoongi.” you reply shyly with another bow.
While you and Yoongi were exchanging words, Jimin could decipher there was something wrong with Taehyung, his eyes watering from the second he saw you. Jimin doesn't understand what was going on, but it doesn't take a genius see Taehyung was trying really hard not to cry and had a million questions for you. He could figure out that maybe you guys knew each other, and by the way Tae was staring at you, he concluded you guys had unfinished business, and it was best to leave you guys alone to talk.
“Is everything alright Tae?” Yoongi asks, noticing his friend tense up at his words, still in disbelief that you were right in front of him. Overwhelmed by emotion, Taehyung shifts in his place uncomfortably letting out a loud sigh.
“Yeah, I’m alright.” he says quietly. The air starting to tense up, a very awkward silence washing over the four of you. Jimin clears his throat causing everyone to turn to him, he might as well save you from your misery.
“Your majesty," Jimin starts, "I was showing y/n the gardens since she is new here. We were just about to go back to the kitchen to serve the royal lunch, but I just remembered she hasn’t been able to see the lake.” He clears his throat again, looking nervous. “Maybe Taehyung could show her the area? I’d be honoured to escort you to the diner so we can begin to serve lunch for you, Your majesty.” Jimin ends his sentence with doubt, scared of what the prince could reply.
Yoongi notices the stares you and Taehyung exchange, understanding Jimin’s intentions right away. “Sure, Jimin... that sounds like a plan.” Yoongi smiles faintly at you. “I hope to see you around often, Miss y/n.” Yoongi reaches for your hand, kissing it before he turns towards the gates, inviting Jimin to walk with him towards the castle, leaving you and Taehyung alone.
As soon as the two guys were out of sight, you felt Taehyung's strong arms embracing your figure, squeezing you so tightly it was hard for you to breathe. He lets go of the hug, and holds you by your shoulders to be able to face you, his eyes showing a worried expression.
“What are you doing here? Didn’t you get my letter? I told you I was coming home to visit in a few weeks!” Taehyung whispers, holding your face between his shaking hands, meeting your gaze with teary eyes.
“The royal kitchen needed some extra hands, and they offered me the position.” you whisper back. He leans in, leaving a short but sweet kiss on your lips. You smile at him as he moves back. His face scans yours for a second, trying to understand the words that just came out of your mouth.
"Wait, so you work here now?" He asks as he reciprocates your smile. you try to nod, his hands making it hard to move your head, making you both giggle.
“Yeah, you don’t have to send me letters anymore, I’m here now.” He crashes his lips onto yours again, this time welcoming your kiss with passion and excitement.
Taehyung sighs between kisses. He imagined something bad had happened back home, and that your visit was intended so you could deliver the bad news. Thankfully, he was wrong. You had applied for a job in the castle to be able to be closer to him, and to make some money to support your mother back home.
“Okay,” he nods before kissing you again, “No more letters.” He promises against your lips as he wraps his arms around your waist.
He interlocks your hands together as he guides you towards the lake, stealing kisses along the way until you arrived at the beautiful lake that’s hidden behind the castle’s maze. You talk about everything and anything, too intoxicated in each other’s presence. Taehyung feels he is on cloud nine, still trying to process the fact that you are now working in the castle right next him.
But good things never last long and unfortunately, his promise was a little too good to be true.
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tsukishimas-shortcake · 4 years ago
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That’s the point baby
↦ Character(s): (3rd year) Tsukishima Kei X fem!reader
↦ Warnings: dom!Tsukki, bratty!fem!reader, light overstimulation, creampie, a tiny tiny bit of degradation, oral (m. receiving), man handling, I don’t know what you would call it but there is a photo taken of the reader after sex, not proof read. 
↦ Word Count: 2.8k
↦ Your Order:  “hi momo, can i request a midnight special with tsukishima x fem!reader with overstimulation and creampie kink please 👉👈 and if it's not too much for you i wish u could make it fluff at the end 👉👈 thank you so much, i hope u always have an amazing day 💕💕” - anon   
↦ Your Momo’s Receipt: Of course, and I do apologize I completely forgot about the part where you asked for fluff at the end, I may write a part two or just post a Tsukki flavored fluffy cupcake if that’s okay with you lovely anon! Thank you so much for your order and I hope you enjoy your time here at Momo’s! If you feel like it leave comments for the chef and please come again! 
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You were in a tough spot, maybe you could call it between a rock and a hard place, since technically you were pushed against a wall and Tsukishima’s chest. Now, how did you get here? Well let’s go back.
The day began as normal, the morning was humid and fog muddled your sight, making it unable to enjoy the normal scenery you would pass on the way to your destinations around town. However, it was supposed to be extremely hot today, and hot and humid was probably the worst thing for you, especially having to wear a school uniform that required a white shirt. 
This caused you to ditch the knee high socks you normally wore and decided to leave your blazer at home, making sure to wear your tie, if you were going to get in trouble for your uniform you wanted to make sure you didn’t get into too much trouble. On your way to school you would normally meet up with your boyfriend at the half way point and walk the remaining half mile or so, but sadly Kei was at school already for early morning practice.
By the time you got to school you had run into Yachi as she walked with some of the new managers-in training that would take over the volleyball activities coming graduation, when she saw you she immediately dismissed them to go finish errands and began walking to you, both of you walking to your class together while chatting.
“So, how was this morning?” You asked softly, playing with the handle of your bag, “um...” Yachi said and looked around, almost avoiding the answer to such a simple question making you a bit confused, “I heard Kei-kun is a bit... mad today... not mad but frustrated you know?” she said, rambling on trying to phrase it in a way that would seem nicer even though she wasn’t being rude. You just nodded and looked at her, “do you know why?” you inquired and she shook her head, apparently she hadn’t shown up until half way through morning practice and the ‘incident’ had happened before then. 
The scenarios and memories of frustrated Kei was something you loved, as long as he wasn’t being rude to people too much you found it kind of fun to mess with him. Walking into your class Kei was sitting at his desk by the window, his headphones on as he scrolled through his phone. You sat down at your desk, which thankfully was the one next to his and leaned to try and make your self known. 
“Kei~” you waved at him and he glanced at you, slowly scrolling a few more times before tapping his phone and taking his headphones off with a sigh as he pushed his glasses up and turned in his seat to look at you. “Morning.” He stated a bit harshly, causing you to pout at him ever so slightly, “you okay?” you asked him, trying to look at him with big cute eyes to see how easily he may be swayed, weighing your chances and how you should act around him today. 
“Yeah, just fine.” He said before turning in his seat to face forward, keeping his head looking at you though, “how are you? was the walk to school okay?” he said, to which you answered quickly, telling him about how you go there quicker than normal because you walked faster but sadly were lonely. The teacher walked in and began class, causing everyone to get quiet.
Throughout the day your goal was now to annoy Kei to the point of him taking out his frustration in the way you hoped, on you. The hot weather paired with the humidity caused the windows of the classroom to be opened, causing the air to become thicker thanks to said humidity. Sadly for Tsukishima your white shirt was beginning to turn see through on your sides where your arms laid against your sides, showing your bra underneath.
The skirt you were wearing also repeatedly being pulled up higher as your legs kept getting hotter against the chair, making you want to get as much air to touch your skin as possible. This caused his eyes to fixate on your thighs, going between both your thighs and your chest his thoughts continued to transition from his academics to you, specifically to things he wants to do to you.
Of course most of this was done on purpose, you wore a darker colored bra today knowing it would be hot, obviously not planning to sweat this much but definitely knowing it would be a bit noticeable if you really focused on your shirt. Now in order to make your plan work you also continued to pull up the skirt higher than necessary, knowing it would catch his attention more than the shirt.
By the time school had ended Kei was unbearably frustrated, basically forgetting this morning’s situation, which you still had no real information about, but rather he was frustrated knowing you chose to distract him all day today. Lucky for you, since there was a morning practice afternoon practice was optional, and you knew frustrated Kei would definitely opt to take you home. 
The bell rang throughout the building, people instantly running out while a few stayed and quietly packed their things. You packed your things slowly and normally Tsukki would’ve done the same, but instead you felt a hand on your arm and heard a ‘let’s go’, hands reaching around your desk and shoving your things haphazardly into your bag. You smirked as your stood, Kei grabbing both of your bags and grabbing your hand before he began taking long strides towards your route home. 
“Kei slow down~” You whined but he didn’t even reply, just continued to walk, eventually you reached his front door and Kei groaned as he dropped his keys while trying to unlock it. “I got it!” you cheered, bending down to grab them, honestly forgetting you had ended up rolling your skirt up, your position was now showing a bit too much and as soon as you grabbed the keys Kei unlocked and then slammed the door open.
He kicked his shoes off and didn’t give you time to fully pull yours off before pulling you roughly towards his room. “Baby...” you said, feigning ignorance to what was causing him to be so rough, “are we going to study for our science test? we need our bags if we are.” you said with a smirk, “you know damn well we aren’t going to be studying.” he said in a low tone, closing his bedroom door behind you both.
He threw off his school jacket and put everything else down at his desk. “I’m not too sure what you mean.” You said, still unable to hide your smirk and your excitement of seeing him frustrated, his jaw clenched and his glare sharper than normal. “I’m not in the mood today y/n, don’t play around and tease me more than you already have.” he said as he looked at you and began to move closer to you, backing you against the wall, “hm~ tease you?” you said with a smirk that you know he can now see since he wasn’t turned away from you this time. 
“Yes, tease me.” he said, moving one of his hands to run the tips of his fingers down the middle of your neck and down to the buttons of your shirt, too which his fingers began to open. “you know... I’m aware you know I was upset this morning, but the fact you decided to act like some dumb whore... that was a bit too much... how am I not supposed to voice that frustration when you purposely try to make me mad?” he said, his voice getting quieter as he leaned down until his voice was a whisper and his lips were almost touching your ear,
“Well, what are you going to do about it?” you said before moving so you can look up at him, his fingers now done unbuttoning your shirt and now reaching towards the zipper on your skirt, “fuck me?” you said a bit mockingly, his straight face slowly turned into a sinister smirk “yeah,” he said and looked you in the eye as he pulled the zipper so hard it would’ve ripped off if the material was any cheaper “that’s the plan baby.” he said and pushed your skirt down, it falling around your ankles.
This caused you to almost shudder in anticipation but you bottled it up, hoping that no reaction may cause him to be rougher. “then do it.” you said in a low tone, Kei grabbed your side roughly, pulling you from the wall so he can push your shirt off, it falling to the floor not even an inch away from your skirt. Since you weren’t moving Tsukki decided he would just lift you, killing two birds with one stone as he got the skirt off of your ankles and got you onto his bed in the same movement. 
He set you on the edge of his bed before looking at you, not saying a word as he began to take off his own clothes, everything except his pants. “take care of it.” he stated bluntly, making you immediately get onto your knees in front of him. As you reached up to unbuckle his belt you looked up to meet his eyes. 
The look in his eyes was a look that almost allowed you to read his mind, you took off the belt and quickly unzipped his pants and pulled them down. He kicked them off and you looked straight at his hard member through his briefs. His hand went to the back of your head as you kissed along his length over his briefs, the hand tangling in your hair and gripping a bit tighter as he began getting impatient. 
“Stop teasing me if you know what’s good for you.” he said and you quickly looked up at him “yes sir.” you said obediently and began to pull his briefs off and then moving to take just his tip into your mouth, swirling your tongue around it before hollowing out your cheeks. After a few seconds you let it out of your mouth with a small pop. 
As you take him down your throat, trying to only go half way, the pressure on the back of your head from his hand causes you to push even more of his length down. In your attempt not to gag you placed your hands on Tsukki’s thighs, lightly digging your thumbs into his skin. “Who said you could touch me with anything but that pretty mouth?” He mumbled, it partially coming out as a groan.
Before you could pull off of him to answer he pushes your head back down, holding you there until he felt you begin to gag and then pushing you back and pulling you from your knees to sit on the bed. You looked up at him as he stared you down, his hands moved inside your thighs and pulled them apart, your soaked panties now on full display. 
A scoff from Tsukki caused heat to rush to your cheeks in embarrassment “you really get this wet from acting like a whore and making me mad?” he laughed softly, very lightly dragging his finger tip up your clothed slit before hooking his fingers around the middle and pulling your panties off while his other hand unclasped your bra. 
“Mainly from making you mad.” You whispered in a slightly bratty tone, your voice wavering however due to your need, this caused Tsukki to smirk even more. “Well, then I guess I should give you what you want huh?” He said before basically throwing you onto your stomach, pulling your hips in order to make you sit on your knees with your elbows down on his mattress. 
“Color?” He growled as he pumped his own length with one hand and groped your ass and thighs with the other. “Green.” you said, your voice muffled against the pillow in front of you. “Good.” He said as he slid his length between your folds, using your wetness as lubricant before suddenly slamming into your entrance. 
What had originally started out as a whine due to what was previously him teasing your folds was now a full moan that was almost a scream due to the sudden pleasure that flooded over you when he began to thrust into you. 
His kept one hand on your hip, his grasp slowly getting tighter as his thrusts got rougher. His other hand was moving between your chest and you hair, only pulling at your hair when you had leaned too far forward. The noise you made when he grabbed your hair and pulled you back into the original position was music to his ears. 
After a few hard thrusts and his hips becoming sloppy he moved his hand down to your clit, knowing from the way your thighs were shaking from the strength you were exerting to hold yourself up he knew you were close. The rough pad of his fingers sent you over the edge, your orgasm washed over you as the heat in the pit of your stomach turned into pure pleasure, he smirked when he felt your walls clench around him repeatedly but continued to thrust. 
Once you had seemingly calmed down from your first release he began his assault once again, speeding up, but this time he pushed down on the small of your back, causing you to lay flat against the bed and he moved to lay on top of you. His head above yours and his breath now against his ear, “how does it feel baby? Do you still enjoy making me mad?” He asked breathlessly and you nodded your head in agreement causing him to bite at the space between your neck and shoulder. 
His voice began to come out of his mouth against your shoulder before he quickly stopped talking, his hands gripping you tighter and his nails digging into your skin slightly. As he continued to thrust you felt your self growing closer to your second orgasm thanks to not just to him continuing his assault so soon after your first orgasm but also the feeling of your clit being ground against the sheets you laid on.
“I’m gonna cum inside you okay sweetheart?” He questioned although it was more of a statement, you released for the second time from the feeling of his release shooting inside you. He continued to thrust into you, his own high seeming to not pass and your second already ending. 
He groaned lightly before he bit at your shoulder “one more time.” he said before he started thrusting harder, trying to make sure his second orgasm wouldn’t run away from him too quickly, trying desperately to cum for the second time as soon as possible. 
He slammed into your entrance a few more times, this time focusing more on the strength of his thrusts than the speed, the only thing on his mind being to get as deep inside you before releasing. Just as he came again you reached your third and hopefully final release, he ground his hips against yours, not pulling out but wanting to ride out his high.
After stilling completely he relaxed against you, his chest heavy against your back as he attempted to catch his breath. For the first time since he began fucking you he moved the hand that was on your hip, moving it up to fix his glasses before slowly pulling out of you. 
He smirked as he moved back, his stare looking like he was enjoying a view, you went to sit up but you heard him let out a small “don’t” before moving closer and grabbing your ankles to spread your legs back out.
He grabbed his phone and took a photo before turning his phone around for you to see the photo, the scene of your entrance leaking his cum, his lips basically touching your ear as he whispered “I’m going to keep this as a reminder for you when you want to be bad again.” He said and smirked before turning off his phone and standing back up fully.
As he moved to grab a drink from his bed side table you began to sit up, he almost choked on his water from a laugh when he quickly took a few more gulps and set it to the side.
“I don’t know where you’re planning on going. Get back on your hands and knees.” He said with his signature smirk, causing you to whine. 
“I’m not finished with you just yet baby.” He said as he moved back to the bed.
© This writing is owned by tsukishimas-shortcake. Do not share on other sites without permission and do not plagiarize!
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beetthereet · 3 years ago
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an analysis on alice oseman’s writing in radio silence (only radio silence since i’ve yet to read any of her other books) because wow this human can wRITE:
(this will contain spoilers so don’t blame me if i did spoil you<3)
this will just be split up to sections because i have a lot to say and this is how i organize my thoughts best.
The way she writes first person P.O.V;
The entirety of ‘Radio Silence’ is written from the perspective of our main character, Fraces Janvier, speaking from a future stand. The entire story is written in a past tense from the perspective of an older Frances who knows what will end up happening, who knows everything.
From someone who enjoys writing, first person point of view is sO HARD TO WRITE. I was honestly mesmerized by the way Oseman wrote this book. Another thing about the writing is that the first-person point of view, truly made the story feel genuine and real. I don’t know what was Alice Oseman’s age while writing this book but it honestly feels like such a true experience of a 17-18 year old who goes a huge change in her life and doesn’t really know what to do with herself, and then finds something she’s passionate about. Truly passionate. It just really feels genuine and true and so I wanted to point it out.
The way the plot builds up;
I think, one of the main reasons Radio Silence is a comforting and fun book that many people enjoy reading _and _rereading, is because of the way the plot is built. Because the book is written in the point of view of Frances, in first person, she describes the plot of the book like she experienced it. It was getting to know someone from ‘saving his drunk ass in a pub’ to ‘this is my very close friend that I truly cherish and don’t want to lose’. And because of that, the entire feel to the plot up to when the universe city fandom figures out that Frances is Toulouse and through that, that Aled is the person behind the anonymous podcast, is so... organic in a way. 
The way this book is written truly makes you feel like you’re a little speck of dust in the air, looking down at these two absolute nerds slowly become so close. You have fun with them, you laugh with them, you get shocked with them, you feel with them. You feel with Frances throughout the book in its entirety. Feeling with these characters as they slowly build their friendship is what makes the big blow when tumblr (and the internet) find out Aled’s identity. An identity he wanted to keep secret. He needed to keep that secret. Because there he could be anyone he wanted. He didn’t need to think of what X, Y or Z would think about him after he said this or that. It was his space. And through Frances, we learn that. And we learn how much it matters to him. And like Frances, we want Aled to have this space. To have this bubble. 
And as the plot moves forward from that big blow of that tumblr post revealing who Radio is (aka, Aled), we feel with Frances and for her. Because after the action of some anonymous user on the internet, she lost her closest friend at the time. She lost a person she cared so much for. And that is emphasized so well when Aled snaps at Frances outside the pub. When he yells and shouts and says things until Raine takes Frances away. And we feel so bad, with Frances. Because Aled lost his bubble, Frances lost her friend and her safe space, and everyone lost something from the situation. 
This is brilliantly brought to light even more with the ‘Childhood Kisses’ episode, where we finally see Daniel talking. We see how bad and heartbroken he feels, and we feel so bad for him because he doesn’t deserve this. None of the main cast of characters did. 
And so, Alice Oseman made us feel for her characters. From Aled, to Frances, to Daniel, to Crays, to Raine. We feel for the characters because we care for them.
The stakes;
The stakes in Radio Silence are directly tied into my last point — the way that the plot was built up. Because, if we hadn’t seen Frances and Aled build their friendship like we did we would’ve never cared about how Aled snapped at Frances. We wouldn’t have had any connection to him, and I mean yeah, losing a friend is hard, but if we hadn’t seen that the personal level of empathy to both Frances and Aled would’ve been lacked in this situation.
This is also very well seen in both the time Aled was struggling to keep his identity a secret and the time Carol almost took Aled with her on the train from uni (at the very end). We know Aled and we know how important it is for him to 1) have universe city, 2) be able to keep universe city a secret from the world and his mom specifically, and 3) not go “home” with her because that’s dangerous for him. If we hadn’t seen Aled and Frances grow close (as I’ve mentioned before), these situations would have had no emotional affect on the reader because you wouldn’t have known Aled.
Basically Alice did an amazing job, I’m in awe<33
Alice Oseman will have you falling for each and every one of her plot twists;
In the entirety of the book Alice has planted multiple little ‘traps’ for you, the reader. These ‘traps’ are just pieces of information that are never confirmed to be true, but are assumed to be based on what we know from Frances and the story so far.
Examples; the whole ‘who is February Friday ordeal’, wtf is going on with Aled and Daniel’s relationship, what’s going to be Frances and Alex’s relationship status, whether Aled was going home or not, and so much more because she is good with this shit.
Using the correct tone to convey whatever she wants to, Alice Oseman managed to keep the reader at the edge of their seat, making them think “oh this is so obvious! I know this!” thinking they had figured it out when she is ten steps ahead of you the entire time. That’s such a smart way of keeping your readers interested and invested and she did it in a way that didn’t feel annoying or ‘ugh i didn’t get this right as well damn it’ but in a interesting and enticing way because the clues — and the solution — to the actual answer were and are right in front of you the whole time.
More on the tone of the whole book;
This book can pride itself on correct tone usage with its writing. Something I personally love to look for while looking at writing critically is the tone of the writing. Does the writing feel like this or that, specifically in dialogue or first person point of view. Does it actually feel like different characters speaking or thinking or narrating, if it’s one person, is the narrating consistent? And with radio silence I can say it just checked all of the boxes.
With every chapter I can feel the exact tone Fraces would say this in if this was spoken, I can understand exactly why it’s her speaking and when she’s speaking to her mother, or Aled, or Raine or Daniel I know who’s she’s talking to and why. There’s so much personality splattered through their words both while speaking (and in Fraces’s case) while narrating honestly it was so brilliantly done I was just having so much fun the entire time.
A little conclusion since I tend to ramble;
In her book, ‘Radio Silence’, Alice Oseman tackles the first person point of view as if it’s a piece of cake, builds the plot brilliantly in a way that makes you connect to the characters and feel like they’re just chatting and enjoying their time together while actually building a plot so nicely, and when it comes into play it’s so well executed, not out of the blue, just *chef’s kiss*.
Through the first part of her book, Alice creates stakes to further conflicts so well and so smoothly it’s honestly mesmerizing, and plants little traps, tricking you into thinking one thing without confirming it while the answer is right under your nose. It’s just so well done I’m gonna sob smh.
+ the tone usage of the entire book was superb.
Anyways, hope you enjoyed my ramble. Have a good day babes <3
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morganaspendragonss · 4 years ago
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turn to dust all that i adore
whoops it’s a 2b spec fic based on two seconds in a promo love that
title from things we lost in the fire by bastille
ao3 | 2.3k | 2b spoilers
The fire continues raging whenever TK closes his eyes, and he doesn’t know if it’s better or worse than the sight that greets him when his eyes are open. He wishes he could wipe that awful night from his memory completely and go back to where they were just a few days ago, happy and safe and in their home. They don’t even have that anymore, the house little more than ash, and TK would be okay with that - they could rebuild from that - if Carlos weren’t so silent and still in front of him. 
The fire was three days ago; TK hasn’t seen Carlos awake in four. He’d been in the middle of a 24-hour shift when the call came through, bickering with Nancy about the merits of various sitcoms, Captain Vega probably rolling her eyes in the back as they returned to the station. 
Nancy had quietly offered to drive when they found out the address, but TK had shaken his head. His hands were tight on the steering wheel, and he’d pressed down a little harder than necessary on the accelerator, praying he’d be able to get there fast enough. The house was a lost cause, if what dispatch said was true, but if he could save Carlos, then that would be enough.
He’d failed - of course he had. An explosion had ripped through the building just as they’d pulled up, the glass shattering as flames leapt from their bedroom window. TK had felt a cold dread settle inside him, and his worst fears had been confirmed when the team emerged with Carlos limp in their arms.
He’s alive, but the damage had been done. Too much smoke inhalation and multiple horrific burns left him hanging by a thread; it’s a miracle, really, that the heart monitor is still beeping out a steady rhythm. TK can’t be thankful, though, not when he knows everything could turn on its head in an instant. Not when they’ve already lost so much.
A soft knock on the door grabs TK’s attention. He looks up to see his dad standing there, a sad smile on his face and a plastic-wrapped sandwich in hand. TK twists his face into a grimace and returns to watching the bed.
“I’m not hungry.”
“Son -”
“I’m not hungry.”
“You’ve been saying that for days,” his dad points out, walking over and pointedly laying the sandwich in TK’s lap. “Starving yourself isn’t going to make him wake up any faster.”
TK barely spares the sandwich a cursory glance. “Nor is forcing myself to eat.”
His dad sighs, crossing the room and grabbing the extra chair. He sets it down next to TK’s and, though he doesn’t look, TK knows he’s being subjected to one of his ‘dad looks’.
“TK, you’ve barely left the hospital since it happened,” he says. “I know it’s hard right now, but you can always come back and stay with me. You still have a home.”
“Not without him, I don’t.”
He hears his dad’s sharp intake of breath, feels his hand running through his hair, but TK’s detached from it all. He studies Carlos’s face, every part familiar to him, but so strange and foreign now. Carlos has never been a restless sleeper - that’s all TK - but there’s usually some movement. A crease appearing between his brows as his face scrunches up, his muscles shifting as he pulls TK closer, his nose gently nuzzling the back of TK’s neck. This still version of him isn’t Carlos. This isn’t the man TK loves.
But it’s close as he’s going to get until Carlos comes back to him, and TK can’t stand the thought of leaving him. In all the months they’ve been dating, they’ve rarely spent a night apart, and most of those were either on shift or still in their bed, with a pillow that smelt like the other and the promise of seeing each other again soon. Going back to his dad’s house would only be bearable if Carlos were with him, but that’s not possible, so neither is leaving.
“TK, I -”
“If you’re just here to give me this,” he interrupts, waving the sandwich in his dad’s direction, “then, thanks, but you should probably go now. His parents are coming in a bit and the hospital barely lets three of us be in here as it is.”
His dad recoils, wounded, but doesn’t budge, much to TK’s irritation. He’s really not in the mood for any more meaningless talk or thinly veiled attempts to get him to eat or sleep.
“Dad, please.”
“I was contacted by the PD this morning,” his dad says instead. TK’s head snaps up, eyes wide. “They found out what caused the fire.”
TK waits, but his dad suddenly becomes very reticent, his eyes flicking between TK and the bed. Clearly, this wasn’t something as simple as the electrics blowing or the washing machine malfunctioning; it’s worse, and TK’s breath seems to stick in his lungs.
“Dad?” he croaks.
Their eyes finally meet, his dad’s face arranged into a sympathetic grimace. “It was arson.”
Time stops.
“What?” TK breathes, shaking his head. Arson. Someone burned their home down and almost killed Carlos, on purpose. And for what? To kill them? The only reason TK wasn’t caught up in it too, after all, is because he was fortunate enough to be on shift that night. “Do they know who?”
“I’m sorry,” his dad says, voice full of regret. “It’s been happening all over the city, no leads so far.”
TK sits back in his chair, a white-hot spark of anger flashing through him as he once more takes in the many bandages on Carlos’s body. He wonders if this was how Judd felt those weeks ago when he found out the guy who’d run them off the bridge was also in the hospital, because TK would very much like to go out and find the people who did this. He wants them to pay for what they’ve done to the love of his life.
As is sensing where his mind has gone, his dad starts rubbing gentle circles on his back, though it doesn’t calm TK like it usually does.
“I think I’ll stay here until his parents show up,” he says. “If that’s alright?”
It’s a non-question; his tone makes it clear that he’s not going anywhere no matter what, but TK doesn’t have it in him to put up even a token argument. He simply nods wearily, and settles in for another day of waiting - another day without his boyfriend’s comforting presence at his side.
*
A week after the fire, he’s told he can go back to the house, if he wants. He doesn’t, really, but he goes anyway, knowing that Carlos will have questions when he wakes up, and maybe he’ll be able to salvage something.
Probably not, but it’s never been the stuff that’s mattered to him. It’s been what the loss of it all represents, the memories that now exist only in his head and in the ashes.
TK stares up at the blackened husk of their home, something keeping him rooted in the middle of the street. Police tape is still up and there’s an officer waiting to escort him in when he’s ready, but TK just… He doesn’t know if he can do this.
“TK?”
He jumps at the unexpected voice, turning to see Carlos’s neighbour from two doors down, Molly, her daughter trailing behind her. TK doesn’t know many of the people around here, but Molly and her husband are often to be found playing with Lilia on the porch, and they always make a point of greeting them. Carlos has even babysat for them a few times, though TK’s rarely there for that.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you,” she says, smiling apologetically. “How are you doing?”
He shrugs. “I’m okay,” he replies, and Molly seems to understand what that really means. “Carlos is still in hospital, but we’re, um. We’re hoping he’ll wake up soon.”
She nods, glancing at the house. “It’s terrible, what happened. You’ve got somewhere to stay, right?”
“I’ve only just moved out of my dad’s place, so I’ll just go back there while we figure something out. Guess he’ll be glad we don’t have to transport all my stuff this time.”
The joke is hollow, and Molly’s face twists in sympathy. “Well, if you need anything, we’re happy to help out however we can. Carlos has always been good to us - to everyone here - and we hate that you’re going through this now. Send him our love, okay?”
TK gives her a small smile, nodding. He’s about to excuse himself to finally go inside, when Lilia tugs at her mother’s hand, whispering something in her ear when Molly leans down. 
“We were baking when we saw you pull up,” Molly explains, straightening. “Lilia insisted on bringing these out to you, didn’t you, Lils?”
Lilia beams up at him when TK looks over to her, thrusting a small tupperware in his general direction. “Cookies!” she exclaims, by way of explanation.
TK chuckles and squats so he’s at her height, taking the box from her. She’s watching him expectantly, so he takes a cookie - clumsily decorated with mountains of sprinkles - and pops it in his mouth, making a show of enjoying it.
“My compliments to the chef,” he says, licking his lips playfully. Lilia giggles, then, without warning, throws her arms around him, the force of it almost sending him on his ass. Molly gasps and reaches to pull her daughter away, but TK shakes his head at her, mouthing an, It’s okay.
Steadying himself, he gently wraps his arms around Lilia’s back, allowing her to bury her face in the crook of his neck as she attempts to squeeze him within an inch of his life. It’s enough to pull a real smile out of him, though tears also spring to his eyes, a sudden emotion overwhelming him. He brushes them away hastily when Lilia unwraps herself from him, but it’s clear that Molly noticed, judging by the sad smile on her face.
“I hope Mr Carlos gets better soon,” Lilia says, her voice earnest in a way only a five-year old’s can be. 
TK nods. “Me too.”
“He gave me sweets.”
A laugh bursts out of him at the sudden comment. TK leans close to her, dropping his voice to a whisper. “Shall I tell you a secret? He gave me sweets as well.”
Lilia gasps as though she’s heard something incredibly scandalous. TK laughs again, before standing back up and turning to Molly, who’s been watching the two of them with clear amusement.
“Thank you,” he tells her. “For coming out and talking, and for the cookies.”
“It’s the least we could do,” she says, waving him off. “Like I said, let us know if you need anything, even if it’s just to talk. We’ll be there.”
TK thanks her again, waving at them both as they head back inside. He turns to his and Carlos’s place, then takes a deep, shaky breath.
He can do this.
*
Inside is much as he expects. The worst of the rubble has been cleared, but there’s still some detritus lying around, including a few of their things. TK stoops and carefully retrieves a framed photo from the floor, wiping the dust off the cracked glass. The picture inside is barely recognisable, the colours warped, but he knows the image like the back of his hand - a candid of him and Carlos taken by Marjan during one of their hangs. She’d caught Carlos mid-laugh, a grin plastered on TK’s own face as they’d stared into each others’ eyes.
Marjan had grumbled about how frustratingly lovesick they both were, but the photo quickly became one of TK’s favourites, and it had made its way into a frame less than a week later. TK’s heart aches at the sight of it ruined; he can always print another as it’s still saved on his phone, but it still hurts. Everything does, right now.
As he gazes around the space, eyes catching on mementos and remembering how it all used to look, TK is struck by how much this place had felt like home. He’s only been officially living here for a month, but it’s been theirs for far longer than that, TK’s stuff worming its way in among Carlos’s until it became natural to see two pairs of shoes by the door, two sets of keys in the bowl. 
This was theirs, and now it’s nothing.
He drops the photo frame on his way out the door, not sparing a look back as he walks away.
*
He gets the call halfway back to the hospital and TK forgets all about speed limits as he races the rest of the way. He sprints through the corridors, the path to Carlos’s room learned by heart, and skids to a stop in the doorway, his eyes filling with tears at the sight before him.
Carlos, awake and smiling and alive.
TK lets out a sob, his hand flying to his mouth. Carlos turns, his smile widening when he catches sight of him, and he wordlessly lifts his palm up in invitation.
And who is TK to refuse it?
“Hi, baby,” he gasps, before kissing his boyfriend, palms framing Carlos’s face. Carlos’s hands come up to clutch at his wrists, and TK presses their foreheads together, silently revelling in this moment.
There’s a long road still ahead of them - Carlos needs to heal, and they’ll have to do so much to get back on their feet - but he can’t care about that right now. Being here, right now, with Carlos’s warm touch stroking over his skin, is all TK needs.
Carlos came back to him, and that’s the only thing that matters.
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falsegoodnight · 4 years ago
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these are the fics I read or reread and enjoyed this month! like last time, i’m separating it into different sections: main list, podfics, wips, and non-1d. rereads will be included in the main list and marked with *.
*note: this list encompasses the fics i’ve read from the 1st to the 25th and any fics read after will be included in next month’s fic rec list because otherwise this is going to be obnoxiously long. 
main list ~
✰ black cherries and chocolate by @harryanthus​ | NR | 666 (intense and jarring in the best way. this leaves you with that heart-racing feeling and panic crawling up your throat)
There is something or well, someone in the walls.
✰ keep secrets just to keep you by @hadestyles​ | T | 1k (loved this so much!! and need 1000000 more royalty abos from rori immediately)
“With the elements as my witness, I take you to be my husband. My heartbeat begins with you and ends with you, Louis Tomlinson.” Louis sinks to his knees as well, salty tears mixing with the pure rainwater. “And I take you as mine. My heart beats for you and with you.”
✰ bitter coffee and sweet love by @dontfuckwithmyotp​ | G | 1k (so cute and sweet!! proud of you ari for getting your first fic out and excited to see what you do next!)
“Hello! Welcome to The Busy Bean! Are you new?” Louis blinked in surprise at the voice and looked around to find the source. “Behind you,” The person tapped his shoulder once and he whirled around at the unexpected touch.
“Hey! Didn’t anyone ever tell you not to interrupt a person—” His rant stopped when he finally faced them. It was a guy—Harry Styles, according to his small black name tag. His eyes widened in embarrassment.
✰ turn your mic off, baby by @vogueharrystan​ | E | 2k (i love when lilli writes harry’s pov. this was so hot!)
Louis walks around the house naked all day and ignores Harry to play video games instead. Harry gets tired of it.
✰ This Could Be Love by mulletharry | G | 2k (such a cute and perfect little valentine’s day fic! put the biggest smile on my face <3)
Harry and Louis have been together for four months. They spend their first Valentine’s Day together.
✰ you appear as my soul by @hadestyles​​ | T | 2k (so gorgeous and raw)
He aches — not as much as Louis, he could never imagine all that he bears quietly — and as cruel as it sounds, it keeps reminding him of how fragile they are.
✰ the energy from your body by sweetielouis | E | 3k (hilarious, hot, and cute!)
Harry and his friends have a popular podcast, for the Valentines Day special they get a bit drunk and talk a bit too comfortably about their friends arses.
It's a good thing Louis doesn't mind it all that much. 
✰ look how i remember by @harryanthus​ | M | 4k (this left me speechless and aching)
He hates it, he wants to scream and tell Harry as much. Kiss me like you mean it. Kiss me as if we are in love. Kiss me like you will never do it again. Kiss me with so much hatred that it turns back to love.
✰ Things Unsaid by @londonfoginacup​ | G | 5k (so so cute and funny!!)
"That chunky oversized sweater is like a clown outfit made for winter."
It feels like time slows down.
Those words echo in his mind, familiar. Why are they familiar? The— the sweater he saw last week. The one with all the knit squares.
The train slows to a stop and Louis just— he doesn’t move. He feels frozen in place as people surge around him. Suddenly everyone is moving too fast and then just as suddenly the car is near empty, taking off again.
The man is gone.
His soulmate is gone.
✰ reckless serenade by @thepolourryexpress​ | E | 4k (adorable and funny and amazing!)
Harry's Google search history may or may not look like 'my girlfriend doesn't know we're dating.'
✰ dancing in the moonlight by @outropeace​ | E | 5k (need 100k more of this immediately, thanks. so wonderful)
Louis’ fuck buddy gets a date for Valentine’s day and he discovers that denial isn’t just a river in Egypt.
✰ The truth is, the stars are falling by larrysbeanies | E | 5k (hot!!! walking-in trope that i love so much)
Harry knows Louis is gay. Hell, he came out to Harry exactly two months ago (when the dreadful dry spell started) because it was becoming increasingly hard to hide the fact that his one night stands were men. And, you know, they’re best friends so there aren’t supposed to be secrets and all that.
Thing is, Louis told Harry he’s gay ergo, Harry is aware that Louis likes men. Why the fuck did he act so normal while fingering him three days ago, then? Is this something straight guys do to their gay best friends in Harry’s world?
Louis would really like to know.
✰ to be used and to be in love by @thelesserneptune​ | E | 5k (blessed that this is a series. really hot and cute!)
Louis doesn't know why his filthy best friend turned into a vanilla boyfriend and thinks of the perfect birthday present to solve that problem.
✰ on the borderline by @princelouisau​ | E | 8k (the way danielle writes... poetry. this broke me down and then stitched me back up <3)
Louis makes his choice.
✰ One Step Closer by agrinwithouthiscat | G | 12k (reading asexual hl fics is instant comfort and this was lovely)
The one fake relationship AU where they don't end up together.
✰ i glow pink in the night by @raspberryoatss​ | E | 12k (hybrid louis perfection, beautiful writing, characters, and story as always!)
Harry reads a lot of articles about hybrids and Louis is determined to prove them wrong.
✰ The Thinker of Tender Thoughts by @speakingwithink | G | 13k (asexual hl again! this one made me cry) 
Louis sits on his hands to stop them from shaking as he adds, ‘and I’m ace.’ If only he had glitter, he thinks. Coming out deserves a bit of sparkle.
✰ Kiss Me Once, Kiss Me Twice by @harriblou​ | M | 13k (enemies with benefits to lovers goodness! so hot and entertaining)
“You’re a fucking brat, you know that,” Harry muttered through clenched teeth, bones already burning with the pure desire and hatred mixing in his body. It was an intoxicating rush of adrenaline and something else that probably came with fucking Louis Tomlinson. He squeezed his neck just a little tighter. “I can’t stand it.”
Their lips were brushing against each other, just moving with the ragged movements of their mouths and harsh breathing.
“You’re a lying piece of shit dickhead,” Louis muttered right back. That was all he did, challenge and nag. He loved to have the last word and Harry let him because he used all his energy to fuck him mindless.
✰ hold onto your stars by vashtaneradas | NR | 16k (this writer’s atmosphere/prose draws me in every time. such a lovely story)
Harry's in the army, Louis' back home, and ninety days is a lifetime.
✰ The Future is Now by @jacaranda-bloom​ | E | 16k (love fics in this five times format and this one was so unique and cool!! and the friends to lovers aspect = chef’s kiss)
Five times Louis follows the fortunes to seek out his true love, and the one time he realises that what he's been searching for might've been right in front of him the whole time.
✰ Visceral Heat & Carnal Highs by @theisolatedlily​ | E | 18k (the prose in this... gorgeous. so fucking good and addicting. delighted that there’s going to be a sequel and excited for whatever lily does next!)
Louis is a demon at a house party prowling for a meal, indulging in horrendous sins to satisfy his hunger. Harry is the talk of the night, beckoning all eyes on him and the reason why Louis’s plan goes awry.
✰ deFENCEless by @solvetheminourdreams​ | T | 27k (this was so cute and so funny and i had the biggest smile on my face the entire time. not surprised since stef always evokes that in me with her writing)
When Louis butts heads with his new neighbor who loves to garden a little too much, all he can do to protect his yard (and heart), is keep on building up his fence(s).
✰ darling, you give love a bad name by snowcaplou | M | 29k (been waiting for this one since summer and i wasn’t disappointed! so wonderful and real!)
Louis’ has been best friends with Gemma all his life in this stupid little town he’s grown to hate. What happens when, after one night together with his best friend’s brother, he falls pregnant? Surrounded by small minds and conservative cultures, Louis has to deal with parents that demand they do the “right” thing. Get married before anybody finds out.
✰ The Haunting of Louis Tomlinson* by @helloamhere​ | T | 31k (will never not be an all-time favorite. louis’ character is my absolute favorite - gothic heroine indeed - and harry is the best dramatic gay ghost ever <3)
Louis is a plucky Gothic Heroine, Harry is a Mournful Spirit, and Big Country Houses are full of mystery and suspense, as Big Country Houses ever are!
✰ begged and borrowed time by @bottomlwt​ | M | 40k (this concept was so unique and so cool!! loved the medieval setting and the time travel and how everything fit together in the end!!)
“It wasn’t until 1568 that it became time for Prince Harry to find a queen and prepare to rule. However, the day he was set to choose his bride-to-be, he mysteriously disappeared, never to be seen again despite the multiple search parties that went on through the years. To this day, historians still do not know what happened with the infamous Prince Styles case..."
✰ Lidocaine and Palm Trees.* by @daddyharrie​ | E | 45k (definition of ris comfort read - on nth reread and still love it wholly. makes me miss la which is an astonishing feat in itself) 
Heat, fake tans and lots of traffic.
Harry never expected to earn his living this way when he moved to LA.
Louis didn't think he could ever be the same after his divorce.
A lighthearted story about two guys trying to find themselves in the vibrant, sprawling city of Los Angeles, with a side of technical porn industry stuff.
✰ haunted by the ghost of you* by @missandrogyny​ | E | 49k (perhaps my favorite fic of all time? the humor, the characters, the angst?!?! all the britney spears!! and pink ouija boards and wikihow!!)
He’s tall—that’s the first thing that registers in Louis’ head when he spots him, standing with his hands behind his back. Tall, with curly hair, staring at them with the widest, greenest eyes Louis has ever seen. And wait, are those dimples? Louis didn’t know ghosts could have dimples.
Because he’s definitely a ghost, this boy. At first glance he looks normal, standing there pigeon-toed in a band shirt (The Ramones, Louis can’t help but note incredulously), dark jeans, and some boots, with rings on both hands, and tattoos littering his left arm—a sleeve made of anchors and names and roses and other completely unrelated things. But he’s also a little bit translucent; if Louis focuses, he can see the outline of the furniture, the design of the wallpaper through him.
“Hi,” the boy—the ghost—says to Louis. His face shifts; somehow his dimples dig deeper into his cheeks. His eyes flit from Louis, to Niall, to Liam, and finally to Zayn, and his face goes from shocked to elated. “I’m Harry.”
At in that exact moment, standing between three of his best friends and staring at a (quite handsome) ghost, Louis can only think one thing.
Nick Grimshaw was right.
✰ like real people do by @eeveelou​ | E | 64k (this was... so amazing. the characters were so wonderfully written and so was the journey of healing and growth that louis undertakes over the story :’) loved the contrast between l and h’s lives and how they fit into each other still so perfectly)
Jessica Jones AU in which the dead stay where they belong, featuring Zayn as the high-powered lawyer with a hopeless crush on his assistant Liam, Niall as the constantly stoned but strangely insightful neighbor, Harry as Manhattan’s media darling, and Louis as the never-was hero who’s just trying to pick up the pieces.
✰ Black With Autumn Rain by whimsicule | T | 93k (i actually can’t remember if i’ve read this before??? either way - it was wonderful! loved the setting and atmosphere and the supernatural elements! i was so intrigued from the first sentence onwards)
Harry is a journalist, Louis has lots of secrets and the moors aren’t exactly the ideal place to rekindle a lost romance.
podfics ~
✰ tall stories on the page by @soldouthaz​ & read by @softlouislove​ | T (hannah’s voice is so lovely and perfect for reading aloud - and ofc the fic itself is amazing)
Harry's tired of being interviewed by people that only care about the same pointless gossip. Louis is a nice change of pace. 
wips ~
✰ Truth Behind Golden Eyes by @lwtisloved​ | E | 60k | 6/16 (just caught up fully today but i’m really enjoying everything! this is everything i’ve ever wanted in a fantasy fic)
Louis is a royal servant born with magic in a kingdom where his sole existence is outlawed with a war he has no idea he has a part in upon him. Harry is the prince on whom the burden of mending a broken kingdom falls upon and he might be willing to risk it all for a simple servant if only he admitted it to himself.
✰ ‘cause all our tomorrows lead the way by @loubellies​ | E | 39k | 3/10 (having a blast reading this one!! i’ve never seen the bachelor in my life but in fic-format, it’s so fun!)
So maybe Louis’ in over his head.
He had signed up for the Bachelor on a whim after his second bottle of wine and well, here he is. He’s just been announced as the twenty-sixth Bachelor and his ass is sweating. Like, literally sweating. He’s positive that if he was to turn around, the entirety of Bachelor Nation would get a nice peek of his ass sweat.
✰ The Night Still Whispers Sins of Old by @toomanydreamers​ | E | 6k | 2/? (loving this so much, as expected. can’t wait to see how everything unfolds)
Two and a half years have passed since the fateful day when Louis and Harry were crowned Triwizard champions. Confronted with misunderstandings, wounded pride and heartache, Louis stumbled away from the possibility of a future relationship with Harry. Instead, he buried himself into relentless work as a junior Auror and refused to let himself be vulnerable with another person. Circumstances change that force Louis to confront his feelings - and Harry. Stolen glances, picnics at sunrise, thrilling adventures, original spellwork, midnight feasts, soft lips and cautious second chances culminate in an unforgettable mission - but will it be enough to mend their relationship?
non-1d ~
✰ like a bullet needs a gun by @millsxwriting​ | T | 21k | wilds au (despite me having no context, mills still got me to fall in love with toni and shelby. this was so cute and lovely!!)
Toni doesn’t expect to fall for anyone in her senior year. Least of all for Shelby Goodkind, the new girl that arrived in town just before the end of summer. In fact, Toni can’t even look at her for longer than two seconds, or listen to more than three sentences coming out of her mouth without wanting to accidentally push her off a cliff. 
Cue a group project and endless bickering, and suddenly Toni finds herself with an unbearable crush.
If you read any of these beautiful works of art, remember to leave kudos and comment to show your appreciation!
*if i made any errors, please let me know :)
enjoy!
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hawkland · 3 years ago
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My (mostly) Destiel Recs, Round-up #6
Well, between working like crazy on my DCBB fic and GISH and injuring my neck last month I haven’t kept up with my rec posts, so this one is going to be LONG and have a LOT and I’m going to try to break it up into sections, from oldies but goodies (some things I found on very old rec lists) to smutty delights to just tasty little bits of fluff, hopefully there’s something or everyone here. Most of these are not super-long, largely in the 10-25k range, though there are a few beyond that. With all the stuff I’ve had going on I haven’t wanted to lose sleep diving into 100k epics (especially when I’m writing my own right now, lol.)
“Oldies” but Goodies:  Here are two great fics written some time way back when but that still definitely slap.
Theodicy by manic_intent (11k) - Probably the most brilliant Godstiel fic I’ve read to date. One of Cas’s first acts as the new god is to make a new archangel. Dean isn’t exactly on board with having his soul re-sculpted into wings he hates on sight (especially as they seem magnetically drawn to Cas), but he isn’t exactly given a choice. He, Sam and Bobby struggle with how to handle their former friend suddenly becoming a vindictive deity - trying to make plans to kill him if they must, which is pretty hard when it seems like Cas is always one step ahead of him. Can Dean hold on to enough of his humanity to provide a conscience to Cas and try to steer him toward good acts instead of destruction? This is one that I can’t say has a perfectly happy ending, but it’s a hopeful and imperfect one that’s just right for how the story plays out. 
My Eyes Are An Ocean by entanglednow (10k) - Season 5 AU where Dean averts the apocalypse through a spell that “powers up” all the angels and he sees Cas’s true form - before being rendered blind. Dean tries to adjust to his blindness, Cas tries to deal with his guilt, and it’s just a lovely little read with an ending that’s... *chef’s kiss*
Lots more recs below the cut:
More great reads from some of my favorite authors I’ve recced before:
The Cabin on the Lake by DeanRH (21k) - This may be my new favorite DeanRH fic...at least for the moment. The year is 2152, Sam and Dean are long gone to Heaven, while Cas - stuck somewhere between mortal and angel - remains on Earth keeping vigil, keeping up the hunt, assuming he’ll never see either Winchester ever again. But when he starts hearing things, and imagining Dean visiting him as an angel himself, he starts losing grip on what is and isn’t real, and whether he can trust anything he sees or believes to be the truth. This is one hell of a psychological rollercoaster that kept me guessing right along with Cas until the very end. It also has some super-creepy horror elements, a novel “monster of the week”, and the hot-as-sin smut scenes I always expect from this author.
X Marks the Scot by DeanRH (15.9k) A fun little romp through history in one of this author’s great not-quite-au fics. Crowley sends Dean and Sam back in history to the Scottish Highlands to stop a monster, and while there they meet a blue-eyed clan chief who makes Dean weak in the knees. There’s something familiar about him, too. a very clever au that ties back to canon for an unexpected fix-it. Also, Cas in a kilt. Enough said.
The Hanging Gardens of Babylon by DeanRH (12k) - Sweet and slightly angsty AU. What if Dean was a gardener in ancient Babylon when a strange dignitary came to warn that the tower under construction was to be destroyed by angels? Lush, romantic and sexy with some wonderful tie-ins to canon characterizations (of Dean, Sam, John and of course Cas).
sufficient for thee by angelfishofthelord (21k) - This is a beautiful Cas angst-fest and character study that reimagines how angel grace works, particularly in regards to healing others. It covers the whole of Cas’s arc from Season 4 through a post-series fix-it, is absolutely stunning and features some great world-building in regards to the angels. (One important TW: those with cutting/self-harm issues may wish to skip or at least proceed with caution). I love that I can always count on angelfishofthelord when I need a good dose of Cas!whump and pain.
And laugh at gilded butterflies by ireallydidthistomyself (13k) - another great Dadstiel fic from this author featuring one of my favorite angsty subjects! I don’t know how I missed reading this one before. An AU where Cas is raising (baby)Jack on his own until the angels find the two of them and prepare to seal Jack away in the Ma’lak box. Cas begs them to let him go with Jack, so at least Jack won’t be alone for eternity. Meanwhile Dean is frantically trying to find what happened to Cas, and he gets some unexpected help from Crowley.  It’s sad and sweet and all the characterizations are great. A+ Crowley use here, too.
what stays (and what fades away) by dothraki_shieldmaiden (64k) - a fabulous read with some great art, too, that started me reading a bunch of fic from this author. Cas goes missing, and when he’s found he seems deep under a spell. When they finally manage to awaken him, he doesn’t remember anything of this life with Dean, Sam and Cas in the bunker. The last thing he knew he was a nurse living with his wonderful husband, Dean, and their two adopted children, Jack and Claire. What I loved about this one was the clever twist as to who was behind Cas’s curse and also how well-developed his AU world/existence was. I’m not generally keen on mundane aus or the one-dimensional way a lot of djinn dream fics tend to go for them, but this one managed to capture a believable version of Dean and Cas living a “normal” life without monsters without making it sugary/too-sweet. 
before knowing remembers by dothraki_shieldmaiden (14k) Post 15x04, a wonderful fic that plays with some meta topics in a clever way. Dean and Sam are happy - they have free will and they’ve won against Chuck, even if they suffered some big losses along the way (including Jack). But Dean can’t help but think he’s forgetting something...or rather, someone. Yet every time he thinks he remembers, the name and face of that someone slips from his mind. 
weights on my ankles by dothraki_shieldmaiden (9k) Post-15x03 where Cas ends up going back to the Gas ‘n Sip and working with Nora after leaving the bunker. A bitter sweet divorce-arc AU and what I love the most is how it ends - not perfect, not tragic, just very real and believable. 
15x18 and Post-canon fix-it fics:
Orbital Velocity Around a Celestial Body by LeverDrift (26k) - An angsty but lovely fix-it fic, one where it gets worse for a while before it gets better. Dean pulls Cas from the Empty, where he’d been living in a fantasy world with a dream!Dean who was giving him everything real!Dean is certain he can’t. Dean has to struggle with wondering if Cas would have been better off with dream!Dean instead of him. This is one that will break your heart before putting it back together again as Dean struggles with his self-worth issues.
so good at crashing in by Wintertree (36k) - Another post-finale fix-it where Cas is back, the world is saved, and things are still...not as easy as it should be for either Dean nor Cas. Monsters are gone, there’s no more hunting to be done, and Cas wants to move out of the bunker somewhere closer to Claire, to move on with a proper human life. Dean thinks he can move there with Cas and stay as “best friends”, even to the extent that Cas encourages him to go out and have sex with others/women. (And wants to hear about it after the fact!) But can Dean figure out what he really wants, and what Cas wants as well? A refreshingly unique take on what a post-series life could have looked like for them.
Delicious smut:
Empty by squirrelofcelestialintent (43k) - Every day this fandom makes me rethink my previous squicks and DNWs in fanfic. Here I find myself enjoying quite a bit more dom/sub elements than I normally ever would! I think because I was absolutely drawn in by the breathtaking first chapter, capturing beautifully the emotions of Cas returning from the Empty in Season 13 if he and Dean had confessed their feelings right then and there. But Dean’s self-worth is all fucked up, he feels there’s no way he can be good enough for Cas, especially when his sexual desires run a little bit...let’s just say outside the vanilla and he’s struggling with shame over doing sex work when he was younger. This was HOT and POOR SAM really gets stuck in the middle of, well, hearing more about his brother’s sex life than he ever needed to.
He's My Mate by Hatsonhamburgers (22k) - This fic manages the delightful combination of humor and extreme hotness perfectly. Dean and Cas catch each other in some questionable masturbation situations. This leads Cas to decide he needs to buy Dean some proper sex toys. He’s just helping his best friend out, right? Sure. As I said, hysterical AND hot as hell. 
Generals by nanoochka (9k) - Cas/Dean, Cas/Balthazar/Dean, implied past-Cas/Balthazar. An old LJ fic I found on an ancient rec list that is just scorching hot and a brilliant character study of Cas and Dean. Balthazar decides to invite himself in when he catches Dean and Cas engaging in some frisky business, and it turns into a bit of a power-play between the two soldiers of Heaven. Cas gets DP’ed and it’s all...well. It’s fucking good, read it.
The One With The Preening by HolyFuckingHell (5.5k) Can I do a rec post without including some wing!kink/wing!grooming in it? No, I can’t. (I also really enjoyed some of the other fics in this author’s series including The One With Dean's Horny Movies).
A Single Point of Light by Destina (2.4k) - This is a gorgeous Cas/Dean/Benny Purgatory short! A delicious balance of the two each caring for and caring about Dean in their own, protective ways, definitely a delight for any fans of this threesome.
Short and sweet, fluff to angst:
Snugglebird by almaasi (5.3k) - So, so soft and sweet and snuggly, just like the title. Dean’s things are disappearing from the bunker...and so, suddenly, has Cas. What’s going on? I do love my nesting!Cas fics, so...yeah. If you need a smile this is a good one to read :)
And Cleanse Me From My Sin by thisisapaige (1.6k) - another one for my beloveds who also enjoy wing grooming and sweet Dean-taking-care-of-Cas fluff.
Needle and Thread by Misachan (4k) - Season 5 wing!fic hurt/comfort. Cas’s wings are badly injured, Dean doesn’t quite know what he’s doing, but he’s stitched up Sam and himself enough times. He can do this. If you love caretaker!Dean and vulnerable!Cas don’t overlook this little gem.
Deceptive Preludes by sp8ce (2.7k) - One of those stories that delves into some of the difficulties Cas might have after coming back from the Empty a second time, especially in regards to accepting what’s real or not, understanding Dean, and how both of their communication issues can add to their struggles. Painful but hopeful for the future, felt very believable as I read it.
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why-this-kolaveri-machi · 3 years ago
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please. i can’t do this alone.
Titans 3.01
thoughts! thoughts! thoughts! some red hot thoughts!
SPOILERS ahead.
1. one episode in, and this season already looks set to give me everything i want. its abandonment of plot and storytelling conventions as it goes from one point to the next at breakneck speed; its cheerful bastardisation of iconic storylines from the comics; the ‘as-you-know-bob’ clunky exposition on one end and extremely restrained, subtle explorations of complex character dynamics on the other; endless shots of neon bleeding into black and blue corridors, shadows and silhouettes; my delight in seeing it celebrate and deconstruct the dark nolan-y batman aesthetic at the same time; my bafflement that it’s so fucking goddamn obsessed with the batfam when it’s supposed to be about the TITANS; kory just... saving every overburdened, clunky scene that she’s in by her sparkling charisma. just... *chef’s kiss*. muah. my show is back, in all its glory.
MY SHOW IS BACK, Y’ALL!
1.5. i mean... this show is so artful and weird and not afraid to go absolutely bonkers in exploring its characters’ psyche, but can just about barely stage a passable comic book fight when every tom dick and harry and their new streaming services can deliver ones that are far more exciting. i love this show with every atom of my body.
(there’s something to be said about rooting for the underdog as well. a pleasure in finding something to love about what other people dismiss. but! enough navel gazing! i have fictional characters’ navels to look at! metaphorically! and maybe literally!)
2. i expected jason’s death to come about pretty early in the season as soon as i heard rumours that red hood was showing up, but for it to happen in the first five minutes of the first episode... that’s a record. 
(well. “happen.” still don’t know what exactly went down there.)
2.25. GOD. jason is such a tortured and tragic character in this show, used and passed around by people with alleged good intentions, never really fitting in anywhere. he’s veritably bleeding vulnerability and the need to belong, the need to be known, and yet the tragedy is that his death proves that nobody in his life knew anything about him at all; that they only saw the flimsy walls he put up to protect his soft core, and thought that that was all there was. that they say they loved him, but blame him for his own death. 
dick is flabbergasted that jason can read, though we know from last season, from what jason revealed to rose, that he has a love for plays and music. barbara is quick to dismiss his actions as ‘impulsive’. bruce has no idea that his supposed son was building his own little chemistry lab right under his nose, and beyond that, no idea that jason needed structure, stability and validation beyond being left alone in a huge house with a treasure trove of dangerous weapons. kory thought his decision to fight the joker was from not learning and growing when the guy tried to kill himself last season and nobody apart from dick even tried to talk to him about it! did you consider that he might still be suicidal? especially after the titans admitted to having “given up” on him because he was just “too hard”?
2.5. the one thing that’s been consistent across all three seasons (so far) of the show is the unreliable narrator trope. there’s a reason why the characters’ dismissals of jason’s actions as impulsive is so repetitive; why jason’s death is a mystery dick feels compelled to solve. it’s a flailing attempt to know his brother much too late--but with red hood, maybe he gets a second chance, just like he got one with the titans. this is what jason’s arc has been building up to. this is ‘death in the family’ but more fucked up in some ways. it didn’t linger on the death because the death wasn’t the point. the joker isn’t the point. everything that came before it is.
this way it will also make perfect sense that the red hood’s main enemy becomes the titans rather than batman.
2.75. goodness knows what’s going on with jason’s little chemistry project. at first i thought he was immunising himself to joker gas or something, but maybe it’s what passes for lazarus pit juice in this universe? 
anyway, it’s pretty impressive that jason learnt all of that from a college chemistry textbook. STOP BRINGING UP THAT HE READ SOMETHING, DICK--
2.8. i’m glad that dick doesn’t immediately sink into self-loathing and guilt and tries to investigate jason’s death while also acknowledging how he failed him. it’s like he actually learned something from the last two years! 
anyway. more about dick later. 
3. oh how i love titans!bruce. a lot of characters had a lot of Opinions on his reaction to jason’s death in this episode, but again, i ask you to consider that they’re unreliable narrators, and this universe’s bruce is a product of how it shaped him. bruce wayne has become a phantom to himself--an artifice borne out of vigorous discipline and crushing self-denial. 
bruce has been batman for a very long time, and without a robin for much longer. (dick must be... in his early thirties? so he was robin for about, say, 10-12 years according to the timeline of the show. that still makes bruce pretty old when he took on his first robin.) things have... calcified (possibly parts of his brain). the personal cost and the collateral from the mission he’s taken up for most of his life is too much to countenance; it has to be a war, and war requires sacrifice. 
on some level bruce knows that’s a lie. he’s so goddamned alone. what’s he going to do? sit down and cry? who’s going to listen to him now? oh, is he going to just stop being batman? who’s going to stop gotham from consuming herself then? he’ll just have to forge ahead, do better next time, maybe he’ll be firmer with them, or kinder with them, or notice more things, or train them harder, or spend more time--
3.25. don’t get me wrong: titans!bruce is an asshole and a half. his roster of potential robins was honestly bone-chilling. the fact that there’s a twisted root of compassion makes it more disturbing. 
3.5. alfred’s dead! it must’ve been pretty recent, because i could’ve sworn that dick tried to call alfred in the very first episode of season 1, or at least considered calling him... 
what a devastating double-blow for bruce then, losing his father-figure and his, uh.... son-figure so close together.
4. i don’t know about barbara yet. i mean, i like her, but she had so much clunky expository dialogue to deliver this episode, and for an episode that was named after her, she only showed up halfway through it. but i like the weight of history behind her interactions with both bruce and dick and her compassion to bruce before he cruelly crossed a line. i also like the implication that she and dick have been in touch recently, and that she didn’t immediately try to guilt-trip dick about some perceived abandonment. it’d be too repetitive.
4.5. there’s also a sense that she ran interference for dick a lot whenever there was something Too Big and Emotional for him to confront directly, and i like and appreciate that character beat.
5. dick, my man! it really does feel like a substantial length of time has passed between the end of s2 and the beginning of s3... kory’s got a new costume, they’ve become celebrities in SF, working missions together, and dick’s actually smiling! genuinely enjoying his work and having fun with it for possibly the first time in the entire series! it’s really a far cry from the fractured, dysfunctional mess that they were at the end of the last season.
i just hope this doesn’t mean that they’ve magically reached a resolution off-screen to all of their fucked-upness from last season, and that the repercussions--for gar in particular--are actually addressed on screen. 
5.25. i mentioned this briefly above, but it really is so refreshing that dick doesn’t wallow in guilt and self-loathing after jason’s death; he acknowledges his and the titans’ failure, is able to admit to barbara honestly that he’s not doing great, and is actively trying to reach out to bruce to make sure he’s ok, is trying to investigate what made jason seek out the joker on his own, and is probably the only person not immediately buying that it was jason’s recklessness that got him killed. i love that dick is finally beginning to trust his instincts or just employ them at all after years of guilt and paranoia and self-loathing. we love some positive character growth!
5.5. another thing i love? the bruce-dick interactions on this show. every scene they’re in together is so fraught with tension, both of them holding themselves back, their emotions on a whipcord-tight leash. dick wants to reach out to bruce, is even somewhat familiar with this brand of denial in the wake of grief, but wants barbara to make the first move because he genuinely does not know how to get bruce to open up. his instincts are right, and wonderful, and genuine, but his expression has been smothered by years of trauma, emotional and physical self-discipline, and what i suspect is poorly treated mental illness. 
it takes a lot for him to finally explode at bruce at the end of the episode--in a way he hasn’t done even when his only opinion of bruce was ‘fuck him’--and it’s all the more startling for how subdued he’s been through the episode, how much he’s been holding back his emotions for bruce’s sake. love it.
5.75. it sort of hurts my heart to see the flying graysons poster in jason’s room. there are a few implications:
a) jason settled into dick’s old room despite living in a giant mansion with dozens of other rooms he could’ve used
b) he didn’t take down dick’s poster--not when he moved in and was idolising him, not when he moved out of the titans and was sort of hating him. i wonder if the reminder of what dick was before robin--that he was forged out of unspeakable tragedy--gave jason the connection to dick that he so desperately wanted in real life
c) dick moved right back into the room and slept on the bed that was now jason’s. grief can be so quiet and piecemeal sometimes.
6. i spy the beginnings of actual arcs for both gar and kory! i just hope that with the move to gotham their stories don’t fall to the wayside...
6.5. i’ve known tim drake for less than ten minutes but if anything were to happen to him i’d kill everybody 
7. this review has gone on for too long and i am tiRED. however, before i leave: i miss some of the dedication-to-aesthetic that titans season 1 used to have. remember how the first few episodes didn’t really feel like a superhero show but something out of gothic horror? there was something gorgeous and raw about that, about open landscapes and the road and creepy buildings looming up at the end of it. moving to titans tower in s2 really ruined a lot of that for me, given its ripped-from-architectural-digest aesthetic, all smooth and clean and artificial. 
i hope that we really explore gotham’s hellscape in interesting and innovative ways instead of camping out in the batcave all the time and indulging in the show’s unending love for long corridors, neon backlights and silhouettes.
8.....
9.  wait, fuck, HOW CAN I FORGET ABOUT HOT PSYCHIATRIST GUY (TM)??? NONE of you prepared me for his return! NONE OF YOU! i gasped! i got up and did a happy dance! 
listen, titans writers, if you’ve had a peek at my titans s3 wishlist, please go ahead and give the other items on the list a go too, thankyouverymuch.
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ellasadventuresinfandoms · 3 years ago
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Okay, back in May @isolatedphenomenon asked me if I had an les mis fic recs and I went "oh boy do I !" and then promptly fucked off and disappeared from tumblr for like 6 months...
Anyway on the off chance people are interested, here is my vastly too long list of  my favourite les mis fanfic (that I'm almost 100% sure I'll have accidentally missed some of my favourites off of...)
The vast majority of these are main pairing Enjolras/Grantaire, so I've put those first, divided into multi-chaptered and then one-shots. Below that will be other pairings!
Multi-chaptered
• Witch Boy Series : magic AU, starting with Grantaire solving Enjolras' curse - this is just Incredible world building which gets better as it goes on - my favourite is the Babet interlude
• World Ain't Ready : you know how fandoms tend to have a fic that is just associated with it ? in my experience, for les mis this is it - and well deserved ! High school, fake dating AU with some of the most engaging writing
• BE : Enjolras is dragged back into theatre production, helping Eponine put on a production of Hamlet - really love the characterisation in this, and this is really one of those modern AUs that actually feels like real life - really good writing
• After the End : the definitive apocalypse AU in my eyes - les amis are an underground resistance to the dystopian government - really wonderful characterisation of Grantaire and the amis
• You never have to wonder; you never have to ask. : I tend to find fic by scrolling through bookmarks of a pairing, which means I often see repeats; this is a fic that if I see I just re-read cause I know I'll enjoy it - the amis sparked a failed rebellion, and now 18 months later Grantaire ends up staying at Enjolras' after returning to Paris for Marius and Cosette's wedding
• Your Heart on Your Skin : Soulmate AU with flower tattoos marking important emotions and events - wonderful concept and world building 
• Impatient to Be Free : Daughters of Bilitis AU - if that doesn't make you excited I don't know what else to say to convince you (aside from saying the author is a simply wonderful writer)
• You Dance Dreams : Okay. Not to be over dramatic, but this fic did genuinely qualitatively change my life, in that it was the first thing that got me looking up contemporary ballet and now that's like one of my favourite things and big hobby So. Also its really great writing; music/creative arts school les amis with Grantaire choreohraphing the ballet for Combeferre's opera, with a heavy emphasis on Grantaire realising he really never actually got over Enjolras
• philia : this one is an absolute classic to me, but not given nearly enough recognition - one of the more realistic college AUs ever written, and the writing of Grantaire is so good because it hits the perfect balance of sympathy and annoyance about his behaviour (that's a genuine compliment) 
• Coffee Hooligans : fucking tragedy this never got properly finished, Enjolras leads the amis as social justice vigilantes and tries to hide the criminal bits of his life from R
• Fighting the Hurricane : Pacific Rim AU that's less an AU and more just placing the les mis characters in the Pacific Rim universe. Really good and riveting read, also super interesting depiction of Grantaire
• Weaving Olden Dances : Fairy AU - Grantaire "claims" Enjolras to prevent his execution - really good writing, love Grantaires characterisation 
• Paris Burning : canon era (sort of) where cities have a physical being - Grantaire is Paris and becomes entangled in Enjolras' revolution - oh the world building is truly *chefs kiss*
• Euphoria is You For Me : Enjolras and Grantaire keep meet cuting in a wonderfully written Brooklyn - feels like a love letter to Brooklyn at times, and I really like the characterisation of Grantaire 
• so please just fall in love with me this christmas : Enjolras works for the environmental company Grantaire volunteers at, and keeps getting secret gifts at Christmas - I sound a little like a broken record but the Grantaire characterisation is very good
• You Are the Moon : Wild West esque Space AU - Grantaire has to call on the amis to help rescue Valjean and Cosette, despite Grantaire leaving the amis 6 months before. On re-reading the Enjolras characterisation feels a little rushed, but overall fantastic story telling and the Grantaire arc is a Delight 
• Pandemos : Enjolras is aphrodite, and seeks peace from all his suitors in R/Hephestus' cave
• Pining for You : Hallmark christmas romance - Grantaire returns home to work on his father's tree farm, and Enjolras is the lawyer helping prevent the farm being sold - cute as shit imo
• Once We're Kings : Fantasy AU - a country hosts a ball to marry Prince Enjolras and the rival country sends Grantaire as a fuck you - one of the best ways of doing Enjolras as a prince in a fantasy and just really nicely written
• Never Bitter and All Delicious : Fairy Godmother AU - yes really, yes its genuinely a very good read
• On One Condition : Fantasy AU - Enjolras is a bored knight who finally goes to check out the local dragon, which turns out to be Grantaire - I really like how they capture Enjolras' stubborn nature and it's such a well written soft growth of love between them
• That's How Easy Love Can Be : Les Amis work at a primary school; and its secret santa time! very fun portrayal of Enjolras
• The Lark and Her Lieutenants : re write of canon where Cosette is the leader of the revolution - just *chefs kiss*
• If You Tickle Us, Do We Not Laugh : Grantaire is Enjolras' secret android - really good at writing a relationship that's incredibly loving but just keeps being antagonistic and coming off wrong 
One Shots
• True Colours : AU where you leave colours on the people important to you - Enjolras and Grantaire falling for each other is so soft and gently written its lovely, this is genuinely one of my favourites
• Keep It Kind, Keep It Good, Keep It Right : this one is so good to me, because it builds off my pet hatred of everyone assuming Enjolras doesn't care about (or at least actively show he cares about) his friends
• blooming : very soft post-dystopian utopia that has just a really wonderful sense of hope and light to me
• and the wall leaned away (or: The Pros and Cons of Tilling) : perfectly realised characterizations of the amis, Grantaire needs a date to her final year art exhibition - deals with anxiety over protest in a way that actually hits for me
• not just one of the crowd : R helps run a leftist bakery and bike repair shop - very cute characterisation, and I think more les mis fanfic should link to anarchist essays
• Lovesickness : Enjolras is an idiot and thinks he's sick rather than having a crush - the writing of Joly and Combeferre in this is some of my favourite depictions of these two
• If there's a rocket, tie me to it : absolutely heartbreaking sci-fi AU about the amis as doomed mecha pilots
• Where I Fall is Where I Land : Enjolras is a Roman commander as Rome's power is leaving England, and then meets the pict Grantaire (+ fun soulmark stuff !)
• You Started Foreign to Me : Enjolras moves to america and R is the overnight grocery clerk who helps her learn Spanish - cute fluffy lesbians with a wonderfully written driven Enjolras
• Love Is Touching Souls : very cute soulmate AU - and one I really love for really truly considering the implications of soul marks and creating historical lore around it
• Ten Years : R is a musician, and it non-linearly charts his relationship to Enj from high school to 10 years later
• put up with me then I'll make you see : Grantaire lives above Enjolras, and its christmas - I find it to have a very fun interpretation of pining Enjolras
• A Cat Called Trash Can : this was one of the first les mis fics I ever read (yes I know it says it was published in 2020, but I think it has to be a re-upload or something?) and it does still have a special place in my heart - Grantaire rescues a cat, but Enjolras is the only one with an apartment free to look after it 
• Still I'm Begging to Be Free : inception AU where les amis have to rescue a sleeping R from his own brain
•I'm in it for You : cw: illness, cancer - R has cancer and is being a martyr about telling his friends so Enjolras drives him back from chemo
• walls come tumbling down : sky high au - a very good high school AU with the perfect level of campy superhero powers
• This brave new world's not like yesterday : Enjolras needs a job, so ends up working in a bowling alley with Grantaire and bonding
Enjolras/Grantaire/Combeferre
• In Defiance of All Geometry : les amis are a student co-op house, Enjolras and Combeferre are pining friends and Grantaire is the newbie
• Still the Same : this is very good writing and very compelling - if you can get over the (imo) plot hole of Enjolras working for the FBI. R was an art thief Enj put away and is briefly helping the FBI out, and Combeferre is Enjolras' husband
• To Kingdom Come : cw: war and PTSD from that, Enjolras and Combeferre are part of a group of refugees that have crossed into a more fantasy land, and Grantaire is a lone traveller from that land that attempts to help - that was a shit summary of this very emotional, wonderfully written fic about war and love in all forms
• Gonna need (a spark to ignite) : I always love a twist on a classic trope, and this is a very fun take on the soulmate AU - Enjolras loses feeling in his soul mark as a child, falls in love with Grantaire and then his soulmate, Combeferre, turns up
Eponine/Cosette
• Pretty Girls Don't Know the Things That I Know : simply stunning writing - perfect example of soft writing about a harsh world
• she knows her way around : Eponine and Cosette bond, ostensibly so Eponine can find out about her for Marius, and their interactions are so playful and realistic, its wonderful
• always find me floating on oceans : Cosette stows away on Eponine's pirate ship - I do always have a soft spot for eposette fics (not just cause I ship it) because they truly characterise Cosette in a really considered and interesting way
• There's No Making Love : I'm putting this under eposette even though there is some significant enjolras/grantaire content, because the Cosette characterisation is so fun and cute
• round and round again : this fic really beautifully translates Cosette's bad childhood and then isolated teenage years, and the impact that would have on her as an adult into a modern AU
• Underwater Thunderheards : this is based off the book The Scorpio Races, and is just a really nice short fic  about longing
• How To Change The World Without Taking Power : Marius has a crush on Cosette and she's tried being polite and subtle in turning him down, so just ends up fake dating Eponine instead
• blood red fruit and poison's kiss : Snow White AU - Cosette as Snow White
• The Winters Cannot Fade Her : Snow White Au 2.0 - Eponine as Snow White - this was written as a pair to the one above which is just so cute to me
• marriage à la mode : Cosette and Eponine run a bridal shop together and it's very cute !
• Temporary Hold : I personally find this a really fun and very unique take on Cosette - with exams coming up she decides she needs to get laid on the reg and so hits up Eponine to act as if they're already long term girlfriends
Combeferre/Courfeyrac
• better than you had it : fake dating but kick it up an emotional notch - Courf and Ferre pretend to still be together after breaking up for a family event
• take flight, come near : nice and cute low fantasy, where Combeferre runs a dragon sanctuary and Courf finds an injured dragon
Rare Pairs
• The Future's Owned by You and Me : cute Enjolras/Feuilly with actual radical politics and real life organising difficulties and wins
• First Dates and Other Dangers : Combeferre and Grantaire agree to go on a blind date and it's awkward until it isn't - just cute !
• after midnight : Combeferre has insomnia and meets Grantaire in various all night fast food chains
• as you are : Bahorel and Jehan getting ready together
• Almost Romantic : Jehan works at a museum, and takes Combeferre on a little tour
• Understudy : Jehan/Combeferre, with Combeferre's insecurities regarding being seen as second best to Enjolras
• Here There Be Dragons : Courf/Enj/Ferre - Courf and Enj are superheroes and Ferre is the doctor that patches them up
• To Let it Occur (Laisser Faire la Nature) : Feuilly has a stupidly long stopover in Paris and meets Enjolras
• rule of three : Courf/Enj/Ferre as spies and loving boyfriends
• Good Rhetoric : snapshots of cute cuddly courf/enj/ferre
• subluxate, dislocate, replace : found family and chronic illness with Joly/Bossuet/Musichetta
• Strike stone, strike home (like lightning) : so this fic took one minor piece of lore about Tolkien's dwarves and made a beautiful j/b/m fic from it
• Almost Inevitable : Bahorel/Feuilly friends-with-benefits
• god only knows (what I'd be without you) : Bahorel/Feuilly with a closeted Feuilly and a beautiful Feuilly and Eponine friendship
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papers4me · 4 years ago
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Fruits Basket,Se03, Ep 8 (part 2)
I finally got my answer on how will kyo’s confession of kyoko will be & how tohru will react. I love the writing, the pacing, the monologue, the dialogue, the facial expressions, tohru’s reaction, kyo’s rejection & tohru’s shock. Even yuki & akito’s involvement! All of it was a chef’s kiss!
I went & watched lots of eps of se01 & 2 & I’m loving all the hints they dropped abt kyo & how his trauma was looming over him all. this. damn. time! Unfortunately, it has reminded me of how much tohru’s own character exploration was diminished in favor of her being the angelic mother & the sohma’s fixer! but moving on & focusing on her shining moment now! I’ll explore her character here with regards of her trauma, real hidden character & future development.
Kyo’s rejection is the best thing that has ever happened to tohru:
(don’t hate me before you read!) XD~ just like you, I’m mad at kyo for hurting tohru & I feel her pain. However, the writer didn’t write this with a sadistic desire to hurt us. Kyo’s rejection is the core of the entire story as it is not only connected to kyo’s trauma, but tohru’s growth & yuki’s emotional involvement with the two, as well as akito’s insecurities. I have explained in my review( part 1) how kyo rejecting tohru was a logical progression of kyo’s trauma, the only possible outcome from his perspective, & the themes tied with such decision. Now, I’ll explain why this rejection is good for tohru in the long run:
1. Showing the hidden ugly side: (The timid, shy, self-sacrificing girl is angry!): Tohru’s entire consciously constructed personality is borrowed from elements in her mom & dad’s life:
She mimicked her dad’s overly polite style to prove that she is indeed his daughter, so her mom won’t be called w*ore & to console her mom, so she wont leave her. She has deep low self-worth issues. I gotta become someone else to be loved.
she has inner fear of bringing shame to her mom’s name, wants to always be the good girl so mom’s get praised for raising her. Thus, hiding ugly aspects such as anger, loud voice & frustration.
She wants to prove that her mom chose right by not neglecting her. wishes to be worth needing & loving for her own self.
All she ever wanted since being a 4 year old child is her mom. No other desire for anything else at all. Since her mom’s death, she’s been lost on what to do, who to be, what to want! then it came to her to stick to her mom’s memory & live for her. Living for a dead person is a self-sacrifice decision. Tohru just didn’t see herself outside of her mom’s influence.  
Ever since meeting kyo, he has been encouraging real aspects of her character: be selfish, complain, cry, get mad, yell, look pathetic, expose unflattering thoughts, show undesirable side, ask for things, no, DEMAND things. She has been reluctantly following his advice & only showing that to him. His confession & inability to accept her love has lead her to show the real hidden tohru behind the “ i’m okay” mask:
The timid, always smiling girl is now showing anger, frustration, stubbornness & determination.
screaming her heart out: “ i don’t believe my mom would say that” stating her opinion in firm voice.
 “even if she did, I have to go against her” the real tohru shows her explosive personality that was buried deep down! it is NOT mom’s life anymore. It is MINE. I decide. I choose. I want. My decisions.
“ why can’t you see that?” argues with him. Tohru, who is soft-spoken & tends to get flustered  when others insist, is now questioning his decision with passion & fierceness!
“ I love you no matter what”. Say what toy want. look at yourself as a monster, a murderer, a loser or a coward. I don’t care what your brain or trauma makes you think. I see the real YOU & it is my decision! I love you ugly & pretty, sad & happy, broken or strong, coward or brave. I take it all & no one is fooling me or changing my mind. I’m my own person & I chose YOU. 
 2. Letting go of attachments: Learning to LIVE:
Tohru’s attachment to her mom isn’t healthy. It’s  toxic as it hinders her from being her own person. To be able to love kyo, she lets go of “ listening to mommy’s words” . Apparently, her mom condemned kyo as unforgivable. Tohru knows the real kyo & doesn’t even care for forgiveness despite her mom’s alleged words. Breaking the toxic bond. She formed a healthier bond with kyo. However, if kyo is unable to accept this love. what would tohru do? die?? kill herself?? kyoko wasn't able to continue to love her husband cuz he died. her reaction was neglecting her daughter & roaming away in utter grief. Tohru mustn’t follow her mom’s example. Not all loved ones leave us out of hate. Some leave each other cuz of death (kyoko/tohru), ( kyoko/ katsuya), Others might leave each other out of current traumatic pain, mental health, emotional hindrance despite loving each other so dearly (kyo/tohru). If kyo despite his immense love to tohru, can’t forgive himself, they won’t be together. tohru can cry, scream, yell, but if he doesn't overcome his issues & come back, tohru gotta let go. She gotta learn to let go & not kill herself over what she cant have.
Kyo, on the opposite, gotta learn to hold on to loved ones! Let go of pain but hold on to real ppl not dead ghosts of the past. He must learn to act on his own desire & need for tohru. Only when he forgives himself, he’ll hold on to her. It is then, that tohru will decide again if she’ll have him or not.
3- Wanting things doesn't mean you WILL have them: (You are enough by yourself- moderation)
tohru wants kyo, the first thing she has ever wanted. However, she won’t  automatically get him just because she now learned to demand things. There are obstacles that can stop that. Tohru must accept kyo’s inability to be with her now & live healthily regardless. This ties to akito as well. She wants the zodicas but she cant have them! Emotional distance separate them. What will akito do if she can’t have what she wants? kill kurno? kill tohtru? kill herself? will this bring the zodiacs back? NO. You are enough by yourself. She needs to let go & learn to accept that love means acceptance between the involved parties, emotional connection isn't enough.
-Realistic depiction of romantic relationship progression: (thro better & worse). EPIC writing!
It is indeed fate that brought tohru back in kyo’s path 4 months after her mom’s death & the they do share a mutual past: kyoko. However, fervor grateful to the author for writing them falling in love together isn’t due to fate, coincidence, mutual past or similar personalities. Kyo consciously avoided tohru while tohru herself struggled to understand kyo initially. The author spend valuable time building their romantic relation based on mundane daily life activities. They themselves don’t quite know when exactly that they fell in love. when they recalled falling in love, we see them cooking together, talking, walking, eating, studying & opening up abt small struggles.
It is genius that the writer will add yet another realistic aspect. While kyo was able to read tohru & approach her when she’s down, this doesn't mean he magically understood her & will forever be on the same page & never ever hurt each other at all. If you fell in love, you are bound to be hurt by the person who loves you back as much as be happy together. It is realistic!!! Adding miscommunication & personality differences enrich the relationship. This relationship isn’t just fluffy & lovey dovey. They have realistic issues that they need to work on by communicating. Even communication  wont solve their quarrel if it isn’t done in the right time & with the right desire to connect.
-The weight & future lessons learned from of “ I’m disappointed in you” for both kyo & tohru:
Right now kyo is too emotional to connect & tohru herself is too emotional to understand his response. Tohru understands his pain but her low self-esteem prevents her from seeing that he is rejecting being loved , not rejecting her. He is not rejecting tohru as a person but rejecting kyo as a person deserving love. Thanks to his “ i’m disappointed in you” which really leaves no room for interpretation from tohru’s perspective. I love that!!!! Kyo isn’t good with words. This has been clear from ep 1, his actions has always been his love language, but now he couples bad words “ i’m disappointed in you” with bad actions: running away. This is a perfect opportunity to build their future relationship on a solid foundation: ( off course I’m not belittling their current emotions, I understand why each is very broken now, but I’m talking abt future learning lessons)
Kyo’s current mistake: While him rejecting tohru is justified by the extreme trauma & is logical from his perspective. This doesn’t mean it isnt’t hurtful to her. He chose hurtful words to push her away mimicking how he pushed her in the true form arc. Perfect example of justified mistake yet still a wrong mistake. Thus, kyo needs to learn the effect of his words, he shouldn’t be punished for the past, for tings her cant control, nor for fate. But he should take responsibilities of the present, of what he actually says & does right now.  He must fix this mistake with tohru. This is a mistake that CAN be fixed. someone that he CAN get back. a mistake he CAN stop repeating.He CAN hold on to her with immense desire yet allow room for her to decide for herself.
Tohru’s current mistake: Seeing herself solely thro being loved by kyo. she cant see that he indeed loves her cuz he rejected her. Rejection in tohru’s mind equal lack of love. Her mom left her, thus her mom didnt love her. This respective is very justified due to her trauma, & it is logical that she reached this conclusion. She isnt in his head, she cant know whats in his heart if his words say sth else. However, having a logical perspective doesn't mean it is right. it is still wrong to solely exist thro what you can see & hear. Real emotions run deeper. We must take things with moderate approach. Tohru needs to have higher self-esteem, to allow room for misunderstanding without completely breaking down. In her future life, she’ll be in lots of situations where ppl could hurt her intentionally or unintentionally. She needs to take things with calmer pace & open the door in her mind for doubt & better judgement. As much as loved ones words hurt, to build a healthy relationship, you must leave room for communication & misunderstanding. Hence, you’ll get closer & closer. 
Side Notes:
 I love tohru’s faulty attachment thro only being loved back exactly as she pictures in her mind. it is so human, so real, & so endearing! Very opposite of se01 & 2 image of her being the wise, device-giving mother with right thing to say & do. Screw that unrealistic image! allow tohru to be real! best ep ever! Hopefully, no more of this tohru!
Kyo’s constant repeat of mistakes is the best character trope done right! so realistic. It is genius that the author used this trope to humanize the demonic cat spirit!! what screams human better than the most annoying human trait: repeating mistakes!!!!  Kyo, my son! it’s time to learn! cant wait to see how the author will do that.
young boy/ adult woman friendship? Was that ever made without  disgusting sexualizion? kyoko isnt much of a mom figure to kyo, she tells me abt a husband, child neglect mistakes, custody! he calls her old hag & pushes her! XD. it is friendship!!
i’m mad they didnt focus on tohru’s face when she screamed at kyo confessing her love.. that's tohru moment. Why pan on yuki? you could’ve showed his reaction after she spoke. The same thing was done when tohru confessed to Isuzu!-_-! loved her angry face tho, it was beautifully drawn, so thanks for that. XD
Yuki is forever the best tohru/kyo shipper & the best tohru-happiness defender. I love how he runs after kyo & yet checks on tohru! I’m curious tho, he didnt hear any of kyo/kyoko confession as he was asleep, only the the “ forgive/not forgive line” so, he’ll be wondering forgive what? tohru’s mom knows kyo? I’m excited on how they’ll put things into context. also, I LOVE YUKI.
I’m forever thankful that everything akito is pushed into next ep. The knife wielding action & akito’s dramatic outbursts would’ve stolen from the emotional weight of kyo’s confession. Kyo’s secret is the core of furuba since ep, 1, the entire dynamics of kyo/tohru/yuki /kyoko/ hat is established based on this ep. Shoving akito, too, would create the same annoying train bullet feeling of momiji’s & tohru’s ep (ep 5 & 6). Emotional scenes pushed together with lesser time for the respective characters to have their well-deserved focus.
This is the most I am attached & satisfied with furuba! it scares me since ep 9 continues the climax. My fears of potential dramatic animation since the knife is there! moreover, akito’s own animation is always over the top. I hope they tone it down to portray her as a human more than a maniac.
Also, I hope they dont drag the climax more than that. What more you can shove in the dramatic raining weather. Tohru/kyo scene here matched the true arc scene bringing back parallel. Now akito/tohru raining scene next ep will match se02, ep10 scene. Now, what will the author do to defuse the climax? Often writing the falling action is harder than the climax itself. Falling action doesnt mean happy times & solving issues. It means dealing with the consequences of the climax. Let’s see what the writer has in store.
Based on the flashbacks, Kyoko didnt have ill feelings with kyo!!!! Until the last time he saw her as a child, she was happy with him. Even when he pushed her, she took it as a childlike behavior. at the accident, she didnt have much time to have any ill feelings. No way she thought he pushed her, no way she thought he could’ve saved her. So if she really recognized him, why would she say “ I wont forgive you”? it doesnt make sense at all. Kyoko doesn't hate kyo!!!! So, either he imagined, which is sth that I’ll hate so much! I spent so much emotions attached to a non existant words! NO. plz! NO!! Other possibility, she said sth else closer to the words! but then again how would we know? I NEED to know! ~ as expected, I’m still attached to this damn line! XD. 
Kyo depressed in the mountains after kyoko’s death was very vaguely referenced in (1) se01, ep24 when kyo talked to kazuma! oh shoot! (2) in se02, sp 2 when kazuma thought back to kyo nearly killing himself in depression before meeting the dad, (3) in se02, ep 9 when kyo trampled on the flower! oof! i love this subtle style of writing! connecting the emotional dots! EPIC!
Various characters throut seasons 1, 2 & 3 noticed the real gentle kyo towards tohru: (1) Isuzu’s “ I hope tohru meets someone like haru, to gently open the door” se02, ep19. (2) Momiji having faith that kyo is the right person for tohru & pushing him, (3) yuki constantly musing over tohru/kyo love & drawing inspiration on wanting “ his own person to love like them” (3) Kisa saying kyo is kind to tohru se3, (4) shigure saying, you are exclusively kind to tohru se02, (5) Airisa saying, when will kyo confess in se01, (6) hana saying, marry my sister in the play & pushing him to not be locked! (7) yuki kicking him for saying “ its not your business” to tohru in kyoto trip, (8) kakeru saying “ kyo’s her boyfriend? “ AA~~~~ the whole cast know & can see his love to her!!! TOHRU! He doesnt hate you! KYO!! the entire cast thinks you DESERVE HER & is KIND! not a monster! Is there an image set of those moments of the cast saying that here in tumblr? kindly mention me to see it! I fear going to the tags & seeing spoilers T_T.
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