#and getting mad at other people or guilt-tripping them for not sharing your opinions is just... mean

[cacodaemonia]

You know, I get things like "don't tag your hate" to a degree, but I also think it's absurd to demand that no one ever says anything negative about the show/character/whatever that you like. People are allowed to dislike things or criticize certain aspects of them just as much as you're allowed to like those things and talk about how much you enjoy certain aspects. And you can disagree with them. That's also totally fine.

Obviously, attacking or making fun of people who have different opinions is an entirely separate matter, but it's incredibly bizarre to me when someone says, "You're not allowed to discuss what you don't like about this because I like it." In what universe is that a reasonable expectation?

[d-parade]

i remember once, when i was a younger teen, i got too comfortable and wrote my opinions on my whatsapp status.

“honest opinion… mordibly obese people should really go to the gym instead of wasting energy trying to normalise that unhealthy eating lifestyle. it’s a better use of time and you get to be healthier and fitter.”

i thought it was a normal opinion but guess what, i got mobbed.

this girl in particular messaged me saying: “why do you care so much about what other people do with their own bodies???”

and from then on, an onslaught of attacks, with her going on and on, attacking me with “ohhh how about your opinion on _”, forcing me to have an opinion on political shit i wasn’t even aware of. she asked me whenever i was pro life or pro choice so i just picked whatever sounded more “right”, which was pro life… and she tore me to shreds for that. “no wonder you’re so hateful.” “you want women to die?” “misogynistic conservative.”

then another status i wrote was: “i don’t really like the KAM movement. it’s untrue.”

and same girl replied with: “oH how about rape all women HUH???? men are even worse!!! they’re brutal and savage so of course women want to kill them all!!”

my answer: “but i don’t hear anyone saying that as much as kam? plus kam guilt trips innocent men.”

and this made her so mad (+ already controversial fight from the obese stuff) that she ranted about me to all her friend groups and shared our private convos to the entire fucking class to the point i got a handful of random classmates messaging me about me being hateful and shit…

that was one of the breaking points that made me leave the “inclusivity”/ “feminist” bubble for good. can’t even have a difference in opinion without being called all the names under the sun.

[rpsocsandcanonohmy]

Sam centric asks. Even numbers only. Please?

2. Best season of Sam?

I’m gonna have to go with season 2. It’s the best season of powers!Sam and it’s one of the last times we get to see Sam stand up for himself and get angry without it being painted as a bad thing by the narrative. Season 2 is probably my favorite overall but it’s definitely one of Sam’s better ones. 

4. Most compelling dynamic?

“Compelling” is an interesting word to use here. Normally I’d say Sam & Dean but I feel like after 15 seasons I’ve gotten to know their dynamic pretty well (almost too well honestly). So I’ll go with Sam & Jack because we didn’t get nearly enough of them and Sam really wasn’t appreciated as a father figure for him.

6. What do you think about Sam's ending?

It’s beautifully tragic. He finally got the happy apple-pie life he wanted but he had to lose literally everyone he loved before it could happen. He finally got to have a kid that he could raise in the safety of a life outside of hunting but he had to do it without Dean or John or even Mary to see it. Ultimately, I don’t think he was fully happy until he died and met Dean in heaven again.

8. Your opinion on Sam's relationship with Dean?

Sam and Dean’s relationship is toxic, some level of abusive (mostly in the later seasons), and both of their biggest weaknesses. On some level, they’re both terrible for each other. But I think Dean is worse in the sense that he views Sam as his property but he makes Sam prove himself worthy of being so. It’s comparable to a parent who never tells their child that they’re proud of them because it’ll make them better. Sam constantly has to prove how much he loves Dean so that Dean can be assured he’s not going anywhere. This involves Sam making excuses for Dean and his poor behavior and Dean guilt-tripping Sam any time he gets the nerve to call him out on it. I long for the days of early spn where Dean would acknowledge he was wrong and give Sam a chance to get back at him. I also hate that Dean stopped standing up for Sam. Sure, he’ll protect Sam in an emergency but he doesn’t stop other people from insulting or devaluing him. Hell, sometimes he agrees with it. Sometimes it’s hard for me to believe this is the same man who sold his soul for Sam and begged him not to get mad.

10. Soulless Sam, yay or nay?

Nay. The story arc was fine enough but he’s creepy as hell and I could do without it.

12. Sam & Jack or Sam & Magda?

Contrary to my answer to #4, I’m going to say Sam & Magda because she deserved better and he deserved to help her. 

14. Sam storyline that should have never been dropped?

Him being a psychic and his demon blood addiction. He should’ve come to use his powers for good on his own and make Dean just deal with it. His psychic dreams should’ve been guiding him since season 8 and he should’ve been moving books around the MOL library with his mind. It also probably would’ve helped him with training Jack and definitely would’ve helped with Magda. Hell, he should be able to exorcise angels! And demon!Dean should’ve tried to feed him his blood and Sam should’ve had a hard time resisting.

16. Your take on Samjess?

I think Sam loved Jess but not in a fully romantic sense. He loved her more than any other woman in his life and he wanted to spend the rest of it with her, but he wasn’t willing to open up to her and share his full self. It’s cute but ultimately, it was always meant to be a fairytale.

18. wee!Sam headcanon?

20. What is the worst thing the writers did to Sam?

Everything to do with the Gadreel arc but mostly how they started having characters blame Sam for everything, including himself, and making sure he’s not allowed to defend himself without him being branded as the bad guy. Dean can call himself the dictator of their relationship and that’s fine but Sam can’t get a little huffy because of the trauma he’s endured without someone branding him as “angry”. It irritates me.

22. Favorite BAMF moment?

There are so so many but I think I’m gonna have to go with the time he shot God with the Equalizer gun, knowing full well it would hurt him too.

24. Is there anyone better than Sully?

Sam, of course! But seriously he’s the sweetest and he deserves much love and happiness.

26. Which character should have been more obsessed with/interested in Sam?

As much as it pains me to say it, Lucifer. Sam is his chosen vessel, the one human meant to help him with his plan to take over the world. I loved his fixation on Sam in season 5 and I wish that had remained a part of his character going forward. Hallucifer in season 7 was great too, even if it wasn’t technically real, but when they brought him back in later seasons he should’ve retained that obessession instead of having them push it onto God and other characters. I think it would’ve made his character more consistent and entertaining to watch.

28. Whump Sam, yay or nay?

Whump Sam is best Sam but also worst Sam. He looks so pretty covered in blood but it hurts me to know he’s in pain.... It’s a mixed bag.

30. Which character(s) deserve(s) to rot in hell for crimes against Sam?

All of them. Chuck, Lucifer, and Dean are the main ones but tbh almost every single character in this show screwed over Sam in some way and I’ll stand up for him since he won’t.

[leejeongz]

fluffy a-z SUNGHOON (enhypen)

requested: yes, by anon

🔅the comeback!!???!!!?! amazing. i just had to write this today i just HAD TO. this is really long but nevertheless i hope you enjoy🔅

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

he loves holding your hand even at the most random times. if you seem anxious or upset, his hand slowly creeps closer to yours, just to remind you that he’s there. he’s not a fan of pda, but holding your hand is just fine :D. (taken from my enha as boyfriends post)

he messes up your hair (but only when he knows it’s okay to do so, he knows his place lol) when you do something silly or cute. he also does it when he’s first introducing you to people too. he’ll be all like “this is y/n, my gf/bf/partner” and then ruffle your hair, just to once again show them that you’re his.

similarly, he loves when you play with his hair. he’ll purposely rest in head in your lap so that your hands naturally fall to his hair. sometimes, he accidentally drifts off to sleep like that and then wakes up a few minutes later all smiley hehe.

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

you don’t have the chance to meet up a lot, most of your contact is via text since he doesn’t have the time to call you all day, every day. he’s super supportive of you, he’s your wingman, your hype man and your parent all in one. he looks out for you as much as possible and (even if you’re not younger than him) he treats you like his younger sibling.

there’s always a lot of laughter when you two are together that stems from the assortment of inside jokes that you share. you can talk for hours despite neither of you being the talkative type (mainly about other people lmao.)

as a pair, you’re often misunderstood. people never associate you with each other but you just know that you don’t always need to be with each other to still be the closest of friends. when you are together, you’re an intimidating duo that people often avoid through fear, but you’re actually really nice 🥺😔

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

he uses cuddles as a way to distract you and/or annoy you. can and will be the big spoon every time you cuddle. he loves cuddling with you, holding you or just touching you, he’s just shy okay. he loves having you in his arms and holding you, especially when he knows you’ve chosen to cuddle with him over doing something important. cuddling with him just makes him want to cuddle all day :((. so if you start cuddling at 10am, except to still be in his arms at 7pm. more so than cuddling, he likes draping his legs over you “to irritate you” (he just wants to be close to you hehe). it makes him feel like he’s protecting you without it being too hot and stuffy and oppressive.

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

there’s no time frame for him when it comes to settling down. he wants to settle down but there’s no deadline for him. he’s not actively looking for the love of his life at any point, he’s never going to force himself to be in love just for the sake of creating family. he thinks about settling down a lot, he wants a pet with the person he loves for sure, he’s excited for that day to come, but it doesn’t have to happen soon.

cleaning, he’s fabulous at. the house or apartment is minimalistic anyway, so things that are out of place are easy for him to spot and move. he almost enjoys doing chores with you even, just because he’s spending time with you. when it comes to cooking,,, like sure he’s confident which is so sweet but that doesn’t always mean a good meal. but please don’t tell him that else he’ll get really sad and disappointed in himself.

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

if he was to break up with you, it would probably be a “right person wrong time” kinda thing. he wouldn’t get into a relationship if he didn’t see a future with that person, he’s very picky to find the perfect person for him. you’re definitely the right person, but he’s just too busy right now being an idol. he feels guilty for not spending time with you and so he wants to let you live you life, without being tied down so early on. he’d hope that you’d wait for him, but he’d understand it if you didn’t.

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

commitment is a big part of the relationship for him. he would want commitment from day one, even if he's not officially your boyfriend yet.

he doesn’t care when you get married, but he definitely wants to get married someday. he likes the idea of dedicating one whole day to celebrating your love for each other, and sharing that with friends and family too. it would quite literally be the best day of his life. he’d propose to you pretty quickly into the relationship, but at a time that felt right. you both knew it was something that you wanted, that you dreamed your relationship would last forever, so why not propose?! he doesn’t mind eating years for the wedding though, it’s a big deal and everything has to be perfect.

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

emotionally, he acts quite tough. he doesn’t want to be seen as weak, but at the same time he wants to show his emotions to let you know that’s he’s mature, and that emotions aren’t a sign of weakness. he often keeps really troubling things to himself until he can tell you and you only. you’re the only person who knows him truly, you know everything about him because he’s only willing to share this stuff with you. when it comes to things in your relationship, he also isn’t afraid to speak his mind. he’s not trying to be gentle or tough with his emotions when it comes to you, everything seems like a natural reaction, he’ll cry when he wants to and he’ll be stubborn when he wants to.

physically, of course, he’s very gentle. every touch feels like feathers, every kiss, every hug, every smile, it’s all just very soft and gentle. you notice that he talks to you differently too. his tone with others appears harsher and more blunt than with you. with you, it’s like he’s talking to a baby (in a non- condescending way ofc he’s very mature and you’re not allowed to forget that)

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

when he’s congratulating you on something, when he’s proud of you for something, he hugs you. it’s better for him to communicate using hugs rather than telling you because he’s a little shy saying it, even though he means it.

he likes when you rest your head by his neck, while his arms are holding you close. he kisses where your ear is through your hair or your head while you’re hugging and (when he manages to finally say it) whispers a little “i love you”. it’s a tight hug, but it doesn’t last long. when you pull away, he reaches out to hold your hand, he doesn’t want to separate just yet.

if you initiate the hug, he laughs and grunts and lot just to tease you, but don’t be fooled he’s really happy that you are hugging him!!!

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

oh you pair beat around the bush a whole lot. it’s pretty much unspoken for the first year or so. although you never said it to each other, you both knew.

it wasn’t until sunghoon had left you for a little bit while he went on tour (not left as in broke up, just went out of the country lmao idk how to write that in a coherent sentence big sorry) that you realised that you should probably say it. he returned home and it was on that day that you told him you loved him while nestled against his chest in a satisfying hug after such a long time apart. he said it back straight away, looking down at you and waiting expectedly for your lips to meet with his.

he was always waiting for you to say it first, there were moments when he thought he should just say it, but he wanted to wait, he wanted to hear you say it.

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

he gets jealous quite quickly and he always makes you aware of his jealousy no matter how petty the situation may be. he wouldn’t try to hide it, or compromise with you, he wants you all to himself so if there’s even a chance that another boy could possibly be flirting with you, he’ll be mad.

that being said, he’d definitely voice his opinions in a mature and well thought through manner. he would think of how to say things to make you understand where he’s coming from without trying to guilt trip you into unfriending that person, he doesn't want to be THAT guy. he’ll just explain his side and wait to hear your response, and often times it turns into a sarcastic, inside joke which reassures him a lot. he’s just like “fine, go to the cafe with him, but he wouldn’t know which smoothie you like best, would he?!”

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

him initiating kisses? few and far between. but when he does, you know he means it. he loves all types of kisses, he just wants to cover you in kisses sometimes, but he’s gotta keep up his image of course. pecks on the lips and longer, more passionate kisses are his favourites though, he just can’t get enough of your lips. (taken from my enha as boyfriends post)

as i mentioned in the hugging part, he likes to kiss your head or place a kiss where he thinks your ear is while hugging. it sends a rush though the both of you, it just really makes you both think about how lucky you are to have each other.

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

a little awkward at first. he’s not sure how to talk to them, and every time he speaks the kids are just like ”??” because he says things that are a little too mature for them.

it will take him some time to be comfortable and confident around the kids, but he wants to be liked by them and he wants them to be happy so he will not give up until that happens.

although, it does have to be said, he’d much rather have a pet than a kid 😳

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

usually, sunghoon wakes up before you. he gets up before you wake up too, and sits and stares at the wall with a blank mind, just to wake himself up a bit. once you get up, he’s gonna ask if you wanna go back to bed again and cuddle and/or watch some tv together when he has a day off. if you agree, he’d bring some toast with him for you both to eat. but if not, you’d just grab some cereal together and eat while sat around your dining table in silence because he does not want to talk first thing in the morning (valid,,, extremely valid)

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

sunghoon is a big fan of evening dates as opposed to going somewhere during the day. everywhere is quieter and this is usually his free time so you have him all to yourself, you can do whatever you want together. as much as he enjoys going to fancy restaurants, bars and what not (which usually take you into the late hours of the night), he’d still rather spend some time at home with you.

on those nights that he can spend at home with you, he likes to just rest with you. chilling on the sofa just watching some episodes of your favourite show, ordering a takeaway. you share your thoughts about the show and that’s all you really talk about while it’s on, but afterwards you talk about your day and head to bed, where you cuddle until you both fall asleep (which is pretty quickly since you stayed up late to watch more tv)

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

like anyone, he overshares when you first start dating due to nerves. you learn a lot about him through this and he’s actually pretty grateful that you do the same thing. you pretty much know everything about him before actually getting into a relationship. throughout the relationship, he’d never try to hide his feelings about certain things and would be pretty hurt if you used things that he’d told you against him.

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

with you, he doesn’t get that angry. you’d have to do something really vile for him to show actual aggression and disappointment. with other people, it’s not so simple. he finds a lot of things that other people do irritating but he wouldn’t show his anger there and then. he’s more likely to go home and get angry there. he’d appreciate someone to talk to about it, a shoulder to cry on perhaps. definitely an angry crier (cries when he’s angry) and likes to slam doors to make a point.

he’s not afraid of confrontation when something that someone did is actually wrong. he will stand up for what he believes in and it’s worth putting a friendship on the line given their opposing opinions.

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

this bitch acts SO dumb when you ask him stuff but he knows… he knows everything. everything you’ve ever said is stored in his brain, probably written in his notes app as a back up. he’s ready to spring this knowledge on you at any point. he knows exactly what you like and what you dislike, important dates, about your childhood, he even remembers how certain things he did made you feel, so he could do them more or avoid them in the future. but of course, if you ask him, he knows nothing.

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

you weren’t even together officially at this point, but when he turned up at your place on prom night. he’ll never forget how stunned he was when he saw you looking all glamorous that evening. you had some photos taken as a pair, egged on by your friends of course because you’d never normally do that, and he looks at them a lot. he can’t help but think how great you look as a couple (and how you two are going to look on wedding photos 🥺). he had a rose prepared for you, a white one because he knew it would go with your outfit, whatever colour it was and also because of its symbolism. he really wanted to confess when he handed it to you, but he over thought it a lot and the moment ended up passing too quickly. that’s his favourite memory. something that he’ll never forget.

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

i know i said he got jealous a lot, but he’d distance himself when it actually came to it. he’d be jealous in his own space until you two were alone rather than being protective while the act that made him feel that way was ongoing. as i mentioned above, he does indeed want you all to himself, but he’d hate to cause unnecessary drama and have you lose friends over a silly misunderstanding.

if you were clearly very uncomfortable around someone, he’d be there with an arm wrapped around you. you’d both like to think that his presence alone is intimidating enough, but sometimes he has to resort to harsh one liners to get them to back off.

i don’t think he’d ever get into a physical fight. it’s not that you’re not worth it, but he just feels it would make the situation worse.

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

he really wants to put a lot of effort into your dates, but he finds it difficult because one, he has no time and two, he doesn’t want to disappoint you/organise something you end up hating. most dates are spontaneous and on a whim, but also like… planned in both of your minds. like you know you want to go and you know he wants to go, but it’s not confirmed that it will actually happen until the time of the date if that makes sense. when it comes to it, he gets really shy asking you out on dates, so you’ve kind of just started to read each other’s minds lmao.

he never forgets your birthday or your anniversary. he makes a big deal out of your anniversary because it’s a celebration of you both, he wants to make you feel special and will do everything he can to do so. you pair make your own traditions when it comes to days like that, and he looks forward to them a lot. your birthday is pretty much left down to you (other than his gift for you of course). he doesn’t want to do a poor job of planning anything for your special day so he just leaves it and hopes that you do something instead, if you wanted a party you should have organised it. he would help you plan it thought, anything you want he’d do for you.

his gifts are always things that you like. things that you can treasure and things that you can display and show off are his go to. jewellery is a common gift that you receive from him and every single piece that he’s picked out is so delicate and beautiful.

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

when you pair are out with mutual friends, he likes to tease you. sometimes he takes it too far without realising it, the atmosphere becomes tense and he becomes even more awkward and wants to leave the situation just to apologise to you but realises it will probably make everything 10 times more awkward.

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

he’s a handsome teenager surrounded by other pretty people of course he’s gonna have some concerns about how he looks. actually i don’t think concerns would be the right word. he’s very confident in his appearance, why wouldn’t he be, but he also thinks that everyone else should be too, everyone is attractive in their own way. in reality, he’s very humble about how handsome he is despite constantly flexing his visuals lmao.

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

you do a lot for him, not just as in help him out with cooking or whatever, but his mental state. you’ve allowed him to mature a lot and he’s become more emotionally intelligent with you.

he’d hate to think of how his life would be if he wasn’t with you, he wouldn’t be the same person at all.

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

one of the first dates you went on was to build a bear, it was his idea surprisingly (he wanted to see which animal/character you picked out, okay?!) you stuffed each other’s teddies and returned them to each other in time to name them. you named yours sunghoon first, he followed by naming his y/n. you both sleep with them on the bed and hug them tightly when you’re not together :( (but your never tell each other that’s what you do lol)

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

people who are all up in his face. just back off, yeah? chill out for a second. he gets that you’re excited, and he wouldn’t want to bring you down, but you don’t need to get up in his grill. personal space is a big one for him. if you don’t respect that, then he’s not gonna have any time for you.

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?)

the prettiest sleeper on the planet. his lips are slightly separated and his eyelashes often flutter as if he’s about to wake up, but it’s actually just a sign of him having a really pleasant dream.

[funkymbtifiction]

The 629/926 tritype and people-pleasing

I read your old post about the Enneagram & people-pleasing (https://funkymbtifiction.tumblr.com/post/184965682165/can-someone-with-primary-or-auxiliary-fi-be-a) and had to laugh at myself about how ALL the numbers in my 926 tritype are motivated to people-please. A triple-whammy of being uncomfortable with conflict, caring a bit too much sometimes about other people’s opinions, and struggling to express one’s own needs. Do you have any tips for dealing with the anxiety/stress this kind of combination can bring, as I remember you’ve mentioned you also share this tritype in a different order? Conversely, do you think there are any strengths/assets to having this tritype? (so I can console myself after all the anxiety 😂). Thank you so much for helping me find my tritype :)

Yeah, it is. I talk about it in depth here.

I think probably the biggest asset for me is – I don’t and never have struggled with holding grudges. I can just forgive people (once I understand what motivated it, per my 6) and move on without harboring any deep resentments. A lot of the people around me struggle to forgive and forget and my anger just kind of … dissipates and goes away, sometimes immediately and other times over a few days or weeks. And believe me, that is an incredible asset, since there’s nothing worse or harder than fighting against being angry or wanting revenge all the time. Cinderella has this tritype and it’s always a wonderful moment for me in the live action film where she forgives her stepmother as she’s going out the door, because – she’s going into a brighter future, why would she carry the burden of past grievances with her?

The negative flip side of this, of course, is that this tritype is self-berating a lot, because it has a continuous desire to be a better person. All the fixes want to be more selfless and generous and strive for something more for themselves, and be kinder to people out of a 2-6 notion of what true goodness is like (less so with an 8 fix on the 9, but if they are 9w1 in particular – there’s all that sense of “moral right” slipping in). All 269 combos can beat themselves up for their mistakes or failures or how they failed a relationship (and it’s their fault) and be wondering why it happened or what went wrong and how they could have fixed it… long after they have forgiven and forgotten the other person’s sins, because they assume relationships are theirs to preserve, treasure, and fix (2). I would say this is the hardest thing to overcome, no matter what the order of your fixes are – this “taking the world onto my shoulders and making it my problem” aspect of relational habits. 269s have to learn that relationships can just fail, it’s not their fault, they don’t have to fix every single one, they don’t need some people in their life, they need to realize and accept that some people are toxic or wrong for them or cannot be fixed or drain their energy, and it doesn’t make them a bad person to walk away from that guilt-free.

This usually is a good-natured tritype that wants to be happy – but unlike the 279 isn’t in denial about the bad things, just doesn’t want to over-think about them. 2 and 9 together are always wanting to see the beauty of life, and focus on pleasant things, but 6 is also cautious and fearful. Altogether, it makes for probably the most pleasant (for other people) tritype to be around, because of the universally forgiving, generous, and sweet disposition – but to put it bluntly, we can be too nice, too forgiving, and too willing to help. How you start to unpack your type is by starting with the fixes. For you, 6 and 2 are lower, which means you can learn to consider them “optional.” In other words, it’ll be easy for you to notice 6 projections and anxieties and talk yourself out of them. For 2, you can ask yourself whether it’s really your place or duty to “help” this person, or if they can do it for themselves. 2 fixers can learn to let people be independent and take care of themselves, rather than rushing to do it for them. You can also work through the uncomfortably self-exposing 2 questions of “am I doing this just so they will like me?” Or “Am I angry at them because they don’t ‘do unto me’ the way I do unto them? Because I expect some payback in kind for my efforts?” I realized I was 2 fixed the day I was mad at my best friend for not being supportive of me in the way I needed, but also realized I had never specifically told her what I wanted her to do, I had just been “doing” that for her, hoping she would pay me back in kind. And then I 2w1ishly beat myself up about it. (You shouldn’t WANT or NEED things from your friends! You SHOULD be selfless and loving with no return!) Meh.

Regarding people-pleasing, you should seize your autonomy and realize that for most things, it is optional and you can say no without causing too much strife. I still want to people-please some, but over time people start taking advantage of you and that causes resentment in being used, and at some point, you start getting sick of it and start laying down more boundaries. I had one friend who would always appeal to me to spend time with her, even though I was busy and had other projects going – and I would guilt-trip myself into saying yes out of a 2ish self-talk (she needs you, she’s lonely, she has no other friends who live here, you can take time off to be with her) … but I realized over time (and over the pandemic) that… she has actually managed to survive without me, she has gone weeks at a time without seeing me and not curled up and died of neglect, she can wait to see me until I am my best self, not a tired version of myself who has dragged myself to see her out of guilt rather than a desire to connect. Before I started telling this person, “I can’t, I’m busy this week” she knew she could lean on me, be a little whiny about feeling lonely, and I would squeeze her in – now she knows when I say I am busy, she has to wait. And that’s good for us both.

People deserve your best self, not your guilt-tripped self – and don’t let them whine or plead or infer or guilt-trip you into things you don’t want to do. Say no and mean it. That’s the best advice for this trype or any type with 9 as a central focus – stand firm, set out a boundary, and defend it. If you are busy, say you are busy. Don’t give excuses, or over-explain, just say you cannot do it. If people push you, reaffirm “I’m sorry, I know, but I can’t.” Sooner or later, they quit because they know they can’t bully you into doing something for them.

Whatever your core is, is going to be the hardest thing to get under control. If it is 2, it’s going to be image-seeking, attention-grabbing, and invasive ‘helping’ whether that is to do physical things for people or offer unsolicited advice to help them cure their life problems. If it is 9, it is going to be numbing yourself out to conflict, refusing to assert your own wants and needs, and letting things go when you should address them (getting in touch with your anger). If it’s 6, it’s going to be over-thinking, being fearful-avoidant of attachments and sending people mixed signals, and projecting (”I’m anxious about not being wanted, so I KNOW they are going to reject me and are sending me negative signals!”). I fight the latter all the time and it’s HARD, so I won’t pretend getting over your core is a picnic, and anyone who says they have “aced it” and are now “a healthy version of their type” is either mistyped or a liar. We’re all wallowing in ourselves.

It’s funny, I can sense when someone else or even a fictional character has this tritype, because I see a lot of myself in them – not in a Fi way, but in a tritype way. They say you understand best people who share your struggles and what you want to be per your tritype’s focus and needs and it’s true. I can sniff out a 269 anywhere.

[opinions-of-loki]

Loki - Episode One, Summary bullet points in form of an unnecessarily detailed opinion

- What I found sort of funny was Loki, who immediately hit the dessert and immediately hurried to the next higher stone, as if this were the pedestal that was his equal, only to be able to explain / present himself to the Mongolian inhabitants, only that they did not understand him and asked again who he is. It kinda gave me Hela vibes. Black haired Odin children have a tough time getting heard.

ALSO! THE SASS! Yet staying polite despite him being confused of what is going to happen to him - Trying to be all intimidating, but nobody takes him serious, as always! You can’t scare the time space cops my boy :/ Finding out how the company works and being all confused was honestly a very sweet and funny moment

- What’s up with the soundtracks??? Someone give this dude a raise who composed these Blade Runner-que music for the TVA followed with those cool bagpipes traditionally used for Scandinavian folk music? FUCK YES! Also the end credits music, it’s just excellent!

- Loki questioning if he’s a robot or not! I mean, he was told to believe he was an Aesir but in the end wasn’t. So who knew if Odin adopted a robot son? Better check on this one - I kinda got cute vibes from Mobius and Renslayer, they seem to perhaps have a closer connection towards another, especially after he greeted her with a formal Hi and talking to her on a somehow personal level - Mobius at first seemed like a very kind man and being patient with Loki, even supportive, but he is an experienced cop and knows how to handle complicated people, especially Loki variants. Mobius gives off a vibe of an older Blade Runner who takes his job very serious. But in the middle I kind of started to hate him a little

- The story of why Loki is an American crime legend D.B. Cooper just because he lost a bet to Thor when they were younger! Hilarious! Most of the most legendary pranks ever! I would have been more happy about the details of why Thor demanded this, or if it went like ” Loki! Cause some chaos on Midgard. Humans are easy to impress.” ” Say no more, Brother!” - Though Mobius seemed like the only person ever who had the ability to call out Loki to his actions: That he isn’t a God of mischief, because he confronted Loki about if killing innocent people is part of his fun, if it brings enjoyment to him to torture people who had nothing to do about Loki’s past. Loki denying that it’s not true, Mobius harshly confronts him about his earlier maniac like expression when removing someone’s eyeballs, if this is still harmless mischief-making. - BUT! Where is it mentioned he was controlled by the mind stone and the thriving fear of Thanos to get killed??? Loki was under pressure, to get killed by the Mad Titan, and he wasn’t thinking rationally when he invaded New York? For someone who studied Loki’s life so well, Mobius sucks to get a point to this one, or it will be mentioned in the future, I better hope so - Loki doesn’t trust easily, because “Trust is for children and dogs.” Gave me Natasha vibes. Because she and him were sharing a quite similar conversation a few hours earlier.

- SEEING FRIGGA’S DEATH! Loki giving great speeches about wanting to free everyone, being a ruler of the Nine Realms to hide away what he truly desired and that nobody would understand his thoughts and emotions, but seeing 2012 Loki seeing that HE gave the coordinates to the Dark Elves, unknowing Frigga would be on this very wing, you can see how hurt he was and panicked! He completely lost all trails of thoughts, asking where she is, if the TVA also kept her, if she is okay! He wanted to save her so badly, he doesn’t want to become the version who will kill her once again. - Mobius saying that there is nothing he can change and that Frigga HAS to die to get back in the flow of time, OUCH! - I get more TTDW vibes when everything that has been explained to Loki, that he will only bring death and chaos no matter what he does, that not only Frigga is destined to die, but Loki is about to die at some point, it made me think of Odin’s words:

Mobius said the same things, Loki’s destiny is to bring death or to ultimately die himself, no matter if he goes the bad or good path. It left me with weird vibes about Mobius being like Odin, just less of an abusive father mentor thing. He was made to cause pain, death and suffering. It hurt. Knowing those weren’t Loki’s goals, he came to the realization that Mobius is right, but doesn’t want to admit it, or at least denies it, but agreed in the end in a very subtle way - MOBIUS AND LOKI FIGHTING!! ” Do you enjoy killing?” “I will kill you!” “Like you did to your mother?” MOBIUS! FUCK YOU! At this point, he lost any sympathy from me towards him. He was guilt-tripping Loki, perhaps even gaslighting him. But this is also part of his job. He isn’t supposed to be Loki’s friend, he is a cop after all. Loki is an emotional and vulnerable being, so hitting him at the worst spot to get out more of him probably wasn’t the kindest thing to do, but probably the most effective for Mobius. Loki likes to pressure other people, but doesn’t like to be the pressured one. - Loki’s purpose is to bring those together he ultimately tried to remove according to Mobius, Loki brought together a team of legendary superheroes together that barely knew each other, and they grew strong together thanks to Loki’s wrongdoings. It somehow hurt a lot, but in the end, Mobius was speaking the harsh truth -  "I will gut you out like a fish!” “What's a fish?!” BLESS CASEY!

- Endless Infinity Stones! I am in love with this idea! I don’t know why I saw people getting confused by it because even though the Stones are what hold the universe together, the TVA doesn’t live in that very universe, they are beyond that very space and time we don’t know and can’t grasp, they visit timelines after timelines, so of course it happens they find stones and keep them, either knowing or not knowing what they are, or they simply don’t care, because they have no purpose in the TVA. Perhaps these stones are variants too and don’t belong to a certain timeline and needed to be removed, such as Loki’s Tesseract

- What got me the most, and we all know what I mean, Loki crying privately when he once again viewed the life of his alternative self, viewing the loss of his family, the loss of his own life. I don’t really know if he mourned over Odin too, but in this series, Odin never threatened to kill or imprison Loki which perhaps didn’t cause any damage towards his anger. Though he was aware that Odin took the other Loki in a cell, but it was a destiny he could avoid now that he knew how things will turn out when he returns to Asgard. He will never get arrested, Frigga probably wouldn’t die because of him, though I get a feeling the Dark Elves will come nevertheless, but this time, it shall be Thor’s problem not to screw it up. Though it was a relief to see him smile soon after when he realized Thor was the only one believing in him, even though their relationships always has been kinda weird, as Loki always was jealous of him being everyone’s first choice, but in the end, Thor was alive, everything that was left, and Thor didn’t hate him - End of File - I don’t know why, but reading this, Loki himself reading this, the very end of his life, it made me shiver. He saw his memories of what could be, what MUST happen to him, and that there are more happy memories. But in the end, there are no memories anymore - end of file. That’s it. That was his life. - I can’t imagine how many thoughts must have been go through his head to see Thanos again, Loki’s try to kill him, just to see his neck and wind pipe getting cracked. He currently recovers from the effects of a full year of torture, both mentally and physically, just the same he would treat his ‘Children’. I can imagine Thanos promised him the world, something small to rule over to expand over more realms. Thanos triggered Loki’s fear and anger, who had to deal with the information he never belonged to Asgard in the first place. Whenever Loki would try to flee or play games with Thanos, I can imagine Loki got punished for it, he never even spoke sassy with Thanos during Infinity War.  Loki is terrified of him for good reasons. I imagine this young man, feared, terrified, trapped on a rock with daily mental manipulation and pain. Loki became obedient and would have done anything for Thanos, whatever he ordered, including an exchange of power. Even if Thanos never fully was on his side and used Loki as a puppet with power and sorcery, being useful, I get a feeling Loki clung to his words and promises to rule over Earth as a savior and liberator, which completely went wrong - His laughter following after could have many reasons, relief, stress or disbelief. He was still crying between those laughs, which could be taken as desperation about no matter what he does, his actions will lead to harsh consequences. Disbelief of what he just saw, as if it felt so unreal to even believe what he had just witnessed, that it was all real, a destiny that was meant to him. But what else did Loki do during serious situations? He avoids them, he doesn’t want to acknowledge problems and shoving them away with a sassy comment or a smile to cope with it - which could mean this laughter could be part of his coping mechanism

- Him opening up, addressing why Loki hurts people, was honestly the best scene to me. He spoke about his inferior complex, his fear of not being strong enough to survive, building up a facade, a fake personality to survive also with the help of his magic. He thought he can be superior to anyone if he could scare everyone, gaining respect and love in form of war and destruction, as he perhaps thought of Odin being a former warlord, he would prefer a son who is able to conquer, being merciless. He doesn’t want to get hurt, he doesn’t trust anyone easily, that’s why he has to hurt people, to avoid of getting hurt or betrayed in the end. He became a double-edged sword I’m open for opinions and private chatting if you guys want to add something ! :DD

[twofrontteethstillcrooked]

whumptober

12 October: grief

Bruce Wayne/Clark Kent

"Could you tell me what happened?" Bruce asked.

Clark paused to consider the question, or, rather, the shape of it. In the kitchen at the lake house, steel and black marble surfaces dimly glittered from the glow of a single lamp on the windowsill. He didn't need light to see by, but he found himself almost desperately curious to parse Bruce's inquiry and, in the effort, to watch Bruce for some further clue. 'Could' had been proffered. The chosen form wasn't an order. Bruce's posture spoke of ease, as though he asked nothing tasking from the barstool opposite the one Clark sat in. What did Bruce assume he'd say; what would be the subsequent result for any given response?

Clark was rarely bothered by inclement weather. The hollow feeling in his chest was not caused by the extant temperature of the room.

“I understand Diana's the one who's concerned," he said, "and it's on me to reassure her--"

"We're all concerned." Bruce held up a hand before Clark could protest. "We know Circe didn't hurt you physically, other than throwing you into animated suspension for a few minutes to keep you busy. We don't think your ability to do your job has been compromised. We're not." He stopped and looked at Clark. "We are not worried about that." 

It seemed to Clark that Bruce struggled, just a little, on the word 'we'.  

"Circe showed me something," Clark said, feeling some part of himself begin to slip out of kilter, as if he were sinking beneath a sheet of ice, paralyzed. "Not a dream, nor a hallucination." He cleared his throat. "Or I don't think it was." 

Two heartbeats silenced, blackened agony gaping in him wide and infinite. 

Bruce had gone motionless, watching Clark with dismay plain in his expression. Bruce hated missing things, Clark knew; he would hold himself personally responsible if something had harmed Clark and he hadn't even known to try to prevent it.

Clark didn't have the energy to bear the way Bruce was looking at him, not with having slept at most no more than an hour or two at a stretch for going on two weeks. Easily remedied. He closed his eyes. 

"What she showed me, I." The words stuck. He pried and a few more came loose. "There's another universe, or timeline -- another Earth with another us." Clark took a shallow breath; an echo of pain cracked against his sternum. "And in it, I'm everything you've ever feared I could become."

He squeezed his eyes shut more tightly. His fingertips dug into his palms. 

"Whatever you think you were shown, you're not him." Bruce spoke at a pace so steady it had to be deliberate. "Clark," he said, his voice just a little sharper on the name. "You must know that." 

"It doesn't make the people he's killed less dead." Clark wanted to spit the words out like blood, but instead he'd barely raised his voice. He knew Bruce would hear anyway.

"And that's what you've been grieving," Bruce said. "That other world." 

Clark shook his head. He finally opened his eyes, to Bruce waiting with as much patience as Clark had ever witnessed from him. 

"It should be, I guess. Those victims deserve to be mourned." Clark uncurled his fingers, kept his stare on the furrows in his palms. His lungs were filled to drowning. Saltwater stung the back of his throat, his eyes. "The other me. He loses his family. It… Everything he does afterwards is because they die at his hands, or that's his excuse, anyway." 

He could feel, at the furthest edge of his senses, the way Bruce was counting his own breaths to keep from interrupting, how intensely he was listening. Clark knew it should have been a comfort, but there were all these words left, a chain of them winding around his chest in a vise as crushing as Circe's magic had ever hoped to be. 

Because Bruce was being kind and because he was his best friend, Clark managed to say, "I keeping thinking about how when I was a kid, I was scared of everything. Of being found out, of what people might do to me. Of hurting someone accidentally." Words like ropes, like rusted nails, like knives that would flay humans with the lightest pressure. "Maybe most of all, I was scared I would never have a family of my own." 

He was almost out of air. He inhaled shakily. Too late to quit. 

"I knew my parents loved me; I knew Lana and Pete loved me. The idea that I'd never find anybody to share my life with -- it was sorta more terrible than I could even let myself think about." He gave a small laugh. His cheeks were wet, and Bruce's eyes were too dark to look into. "But for all that, I never thought. I never thought it might be better if I didn't find...if it really was dangerous for people to be with me…"

As a writer, Clark weighed words constantly and therefore understood their limitations. Sometimes, however, they were all that was left of the truth. "I'm a weapon," he said, the words tumbling out like flat stones he wouldn't be able to budge once they landed. He'd closed his eyes again. "I'm not supposed to be someone's home." 

There was a noise only Clark's abilities would've caught, as though a thin blade had been cleanly slid into the most vulnerable point beneath a ribcage. He didn't catch up quickly enough to realize he himself wasn't the one who'd made the sound before Bruce said, "You haven't eaten much recently."

Clark blinked. "What?"

Bruce's expression had changed to open, neutral, downright placid. "Food, Clark."

"Ah. No. I haven't been hungry." Clark shifted on the barstool. He blinked again, wiped his face, clasped his hands together. Some strange veiled heaviness had been lifted from his peripheral vision, from his shoulders and hips. 

Bruce was stretching his legs and standing up, headed a few feet to the large refrigerator. "I should call your fretful mother and tell her you're wasting away."

"Don't. Guilt tripping me by invoking my mom is dirty pool." Was this what whiplash felt like? Clark wondered. He couldn't remember. "You don't have patrol tonight?"

"It's raining," Bruce said, like something as common in Gotham as rain was a well-known Batman deterrent.

Clark hadn't noticed the water sheeting down the windows, nor the insistent drum of a downpour on the roof; probably not the best sign of mental stability. "Pizza'd be all right, if ChowWagon will deliver out this far."

"They would. I'm Bruce Wayne," Bruce said with the flair he usually reserved for taking the piss with reporters who weren't Clark. He tugged open the bottom freezer drawer and removed a large disc. "But we already have pizza."

"Convenient. Alfred?"

"Hn. I can forage for sustenance all on my own." Bruce poked at the oven display. "I can even toss a crust and slow-simmer a red sauce." He picked at an edge of plastic wrap until he figured out how to unwrap the pizza and made a cagey face at Clark for a second. "Don't suppose you'd care to share who other-you was married to."

Clark suppressed a groan. He sighed and said, "Lois. You absolutely cannot mention it to her, ever."

Bruce quirked up an eyebrow. "Noted."

"It's not-- She's great." Clark winced. Well, she was. She was one of his smartest, scariest friends. He hadn't been anguished specifically about her counterpart's death in another reality, or even the thought of her and a child they might have together dying because of him. His grief, he'd discovered, was less bound to them, there, and more rooted in his own terror in this world. "I'm keeping this info in my arsenal, for future occasions where she's so mad at me she's about to kill me."

Bruce's other eyebrow appeared to have an opinion on the matter.

"I'm counting on being able to make her laugh hard enough to forget why she's about to kill me," Clark said.

"Good plan." As Bruce placed the twelve inch pie on the middle rack, he said, all mildness, "You know why your conclusion that 'Being alone forever is best' is bullshit."

It didn't seem like the kind of not-question he needed Clark to answer. 

"First," Bruce said, "to merely temporarily remove you from action, a powerful sorceress tortured you for one hundred and eighty-nine seconds with visions of another universe the existence of which you cannot possibly be expected to either confirm or ameliorate. Second, whoever you saw in those visions who looked like you isn't you. Worth repeating. Third, you are not responsible for him." 

Clark didn't quite believe him, and didn't quite trust Bruce believed such logic either. But Clark could let him finish his lecture. Bruce had opened the long fridge door and taken out two beers in bottles. He gave one to Clark, pausing for a second as if making sure Clark was paying attention. He sat back on his barstool, and Clark clutched at the cold glass with both hands.

"Fourth. There aren't any guarantees about what may or may not happen to anyone who becomes part of your family," Bruce said, like it wasn't the biggest understatement he could utter. "You meet people every day who've suffered the worst, most unimaginable tragedies, sometimes of their own doing, and they take that pain and loss and accomplish astonishing things with it. They found non-profits and fund scholarships, serve their sentences, advocate for victims' rights or new legislation. They get better. They live to honor their loved ones. Most people, in mourning or otherwise, don't become homicidal despots. You're not as strong as them?" He took a drink of beer in a manner that Clark would describe as almost smug.

Clark thought about both pinching and hugging him. The heaviness in his shoulders had come back. He was hunched forward, trying to breathe against it. He wasn't sure he was even strong enough to keep having this one conversation.

When Bruce spoke again, there was no trace of arrogance in his tone. "What are we up to, fifth? Fifth, not to be mean about who you were as a kid, but." He tapped his fingernail against his bottle. His thoughts on Kansas farm life and Clark's once-upon-a-time place therein had been the source of delicate ribbing as long as they'd known each other's real identities. 

Bruce gave a rueful head tilt. "You missed a key element of the bigger picture when you were younger and you're doing it now, and not just because of course you, you specifically, are supposed to have a family." His voice sounded a little odd. But then he went on, turning so that he was looking out the window. "One person isn't really a family." More softly, he said, "If you decide to keep everyone away, it also means you're keeping out someone who might want to be your home."

Clark's hands seemed too stiff. He put the beer on the counter to keep from shattering the bottle and opened his hands, feeling the cold lift away from them. When he looked at Bruce's profile, he saw him exhale very, very slowly, as though he were lowering to the ground something immense but easily fractured. Clark heard the rain on the metal roof of a barn seventeen miles away and the ticking the oven made as it came up to full temperature. He waited until Bruce looked over at him again. He sat perfectly still and held his gaze as gently as he could. The minutes passed between them, quiet, shadowed, and warm, until Clark was able to find a place to start whatever was to come next.

"What's on the pizza?" he asked eventually, not bothering to be embarrassed at the roughness in his voice.

Bruce smiled small at the corner of his mouth. "Mushrooms, tomatoes, green olives. Asiago with extra mozzarella." 

An order in a greasy pizzeria years ago, the two of them battle-wearied and starving at three a.m. One of the first times, perhaps, Clark had sat across from Bruce and thought of him as anything more than a teammate. 

"My favorite," Clark said, reaching for Bruce's wrist.

"I know," Bruce said, letting him.

[nightswithkookmin]

WHAT WILL JIMIN POST ON JK'S BIRTHDAY 2020?

Interesting question. I get why my Askbox is flooded with it. May thirteen was a disappointment. Most Jikookers were looking forward to a reinforcement of a long established Jikook tradition- well everyone except me and a couple others I think. Y'all don't be paying attention. Lol

Jikook are complex beings and like any complex organism they learn to adapt to situations and surroundings. They are predictable in that way but also they are not. It's paradoxical, I know.

If you paid any attention to what was going on from late March through to June you'd have known there was little to no likelihood May 13 was gonna happen.

And if it had happened, it would have taken on a whole new meaning at least to some of us. But hey, 5/8 right? Sure. Jimin smart. We stan a Bigbrain.

Anywho, tomorrow is not about Jimin or Jikook or any ship. It's about JK. It's about celebrating the gift of life that he is. For all the times he's been hated on, this is the only day out of 365 days that we as a fandom get to put our differences aside and come together to show our love and appreciation for him- I hope.

I don't see why Jimin wouldn't do the same for him. Especially since it's been a long established tradition not just for Jikook but for all the members.

They all celebrate eachother's birthday to varying degrees but at the bare minimum they wish each other a happy birthday. That's the norm.

All the other members will wish JK a happy birthday and that includes Jimim. If you understand why people celebrate others birthday you'll understand this is not complicated at all. So it's not a question of will Jimin post tomorrow.

Jimin is a very kind, thoughtful and a loving person. It would be weird of him not to wish his fellow bandmate a happy birthday on his birthday. He would. He should. Rest assured.

But I understand that what y'all are asking me as far as Jikook is concerned and shipping goes is whether Jimin would do something extraordinary for JK this year like he did last year, what he would do and whether he would post about it.

Even though I am certain he will post, I can't tell you what that post is going to be, I'm an alien not Jesus you know?

What I can speculate on is whether or not Jimin would make another grand gesture like that of last year. Which is what this post is going to be about.

The answer to that question is not as simple as yes he would or no he wouldn't. Personally, I expect him to do something a little bit out of the ordinary or coded this year. I'll explain in a bit.

To be clear, I don't expect a repeat of last year or anything of the magnitude of last year at all as much as that would make me uWu so hard. Although... what if he pulls a 360 on us and propose to Jk on his birthday?what? I'm speaking it into existence!

What Jimin did last year was an exception not the norm. You don't fly half way across the world just because. To me that was a grand grand gesture in the history of JK's birthdays and I don't expect a repeat of it unless the circumstances that lead to that moment repeats its self.

The circumstances being that they were broke up and he was trying to fix things. Cough, cough.

JK's birthday last year was an Echo of Manila. A general consensus among Jikookers, is that JK had been mad because Jimin was choosing to spend time with Taemin on the eve of his birthday hence why he had had posted that song knowing full well Jimin would see it as a way to guilt trip Jimin.

If that is right, then Jimin flying over to be with Jk would be a huge statement.

2015 and 2019 are the years that have stood out to me most, birthday wise: Jimin saying he wanted to give JK a kiss on his 18th birthday and him flying from Paris to South K to be with JK on his birthday.

If you've ever heard Jimin talk about money, he is prudent and wise about money. I mean rather than spend millions on a luxury apartment he chose to buy an investment property instead. He is a Libra, I wouldn't expect anything less.

On his vacation trips, he's known to share cost of expenses with the friends he travels with if he's traveling with them. I won't call him frugal though, thoughtful and selective is more like it.

So when he does something of this nature, it's not nothing. He was making a statement period. He was proving something to someone- if you say Army I'll smack the back of your head. Lol

JK. He was proving something to JK. It's always been JK- so help me lord if you say it's Fanservice! It is not. It wasn't for Fanservice.

I've seen people around corners of the internet saying he didn't have to post his Paris video if he was going to go see JK anyway to celebrate with him. That the whole video message thing on Twitter seemed very much private.

I agree with the part about the video seeming private. It seemed personal to me. But it also seemed like the point of that video was to let JK know his location at the time to perhaps throw him off the surprise he had planned for later.

People have argued JM was just pulling a 'prank' on JK with that whole Paris trip to begin with. They were on a hiatus, they had been together prior to JM leaving for France a few days to JK's birthday so it doesn't make sense that they would be broken up at that time period and it doesn't make sense that Jimin will leave for Paris and fly back home only to leave again so it must be a prank.

... Sure. Valid point. However, I don't see Jimin being reckless with money or honestly that shallow. If that was a prank that was an expensive one.

And yes, Jimin didn't have to go on the trip. It wasn't business. It was leisure. I can see how that would be confusing to JK especially when it seemed JM was choosing to spend time with someone, be somewhere else rather than with him on his birthday- yet again. Coughing in Manila.

But sure, I can see how that would be the best 'prank' surprise for JK. Shaking my head. I don't think that was all that was happening with Jikook around that time as I have hinted at several times across my blog posts.

Jikook were broke up around that time, that trip was a grand gesture, Jimin's way to make up with Jk let him know he's learned his lessons. His friends are important but JK comes first. The lightning struck twice for JM and he got a second chance to redeem himself- the definition of GRAND gesture.

If you are a Kpop enthusiast you would also know about the political climate in S.K around that time frame and how it was impacting the Kpop world in general. Certain Boy Bands were under investigation for certain 'offences' I don't want to get into.

On August 11th, one member of such said boy band was arrested- allegedly. I don't know what it had to do with BTS or whether it had anything to do with them at all and I'm not insinuating anything but I just found that impromptu hiatus in August a bit suspicious giving everything else that was going on in S.K.

If 'people' were looking into Kpop boybands then I am certain BTS was on top of that list just because they are the biggest boyband and have been a target of haters for years.

Needless to say, I do not think they were gonna find anything at all on the boys if in deed they had looked but if the boys had a secret- like say two of their members being in the LGBTQ plus community then I assume that secret was bound to be found out?

It is why I believe the boys were asked to lay low in August and that Jikook specifically had been asked by BigHit to tone things down while they navigated the muddy mess of public scrutiny- in my opinion.

I also find it a bit interesting that both of Jikook later that same month and period would be involved in a scandal involving women- But feel free to draw your own conclusions on that however you please. This is just mine: I think that move was straight out of the PR books. Classic Olivia Pope-esque move. Lol

I know some people think it is in the best interest of Jikook to hide their relationship if they are real and that Jikook want to hide their relationship: I disagree.

Just based on my own observation, I don't think they enjoy hiding at all. Especially JK. Well, he did say he didn't want to hide anymore in GCF Saipan didn't he? Can't argue with that.

But also, out of the two, JK is the one who seems the most grounded and sure about their relationship. This is seen best in moments where they've almost been caught. JK's been the least bothered or throw off. Almost as if he doesn't mind if people find out about them.

For instance, when BTS exposed JK for sneaking into Jimin's bed Jimin looked terrified as fuck. He pointed to JK, almost throwing him under the bus but for someone behind the camera asking him to chill, Jimin would have freaked out of his mind.

Then we have that infamous moment when Jimin and JK walked into JK's room and spotted the camera. The look on JM's face said it all. But JK seemed pretty chill about it to me.

Now these moments are relevant because JM was caught unaware. They were both caught off guard and so their reactions were instinctive. By instinct Jimin freaked out which says to me he is afraid to be exposed or outed perhaps because he isn't ready to come out- yet. While JK's reaction on the other says to me he doesn't mind at all if people found out about them which could be because he is ready to come out.

I know what you are thinking and no. That time in the track when they were caught taking photos- JK looked more like he didn't appreciate the invasion of his privacy rather then terrified he was caught. They were on set and so they knew there were cameras roaming around and anyone could stumble on them. They were both consciously self aware of their environment which is why JM was able to make a quick comeback.

I can go on and on about this about this topic but the post is already getting too long.

My point is, Jikook don't like to hide. When you are in love you want the whole world to know. And so often, they fluctuate between wanting to keep their relationship a secret for the sake of their careers and wanting to declare and openly claim eachother.

Keeping their relationship a secret is bound to be stressful on them physically and emotionally. Just because they don't like to be outed don't mean they enjoy hiding.

Their secret is not theirs alone to tell. They have people whose careers depend on them. Their secret is inextricably linked with five other people. People whose careers could end instantly if their secret so much as came out accidentally or even by design.

I don't think either of them is selfish enough to risk that. Not even in the name of love. And this is especially true for Jimin the way I see it. As for JK..... I don't think he gives a shit. Bless him.

This doesn't mean, however, that they don't enjoy teetering the line. It's part of the thrill that fuels their passions- when they get to play at being caught and exposed or just the mere thought they are out smarting the public- fucking exhibitionist!

Jokes aside, I believe there is a sense of comfort and security they get from knowing there are thousands of people out there who enjoy and celebrate their love as openly as they would want to and they live openly vicariously through us.

Our support and acceptance means so much to them. Which is why often you find them reaching out to us.

Being told to lay low even if it's for their own interests would get on their nerves especially for a rebel like JK and Jimin knew this hence why that public display of his affection for Jk on Twitter.

Thus, I do I think JM would make another gesture similar to what he did last year but whatever gesture of he does make one would be unique in it's own way from last year's and would be more of an assurance of his love for JK and a prove to Army that they are fine just because i think they have both been through a lot this year just as he said in the dynamite MV reaction VLive which was rudely sabotaged by Tae.

Jimin seemed like he wanted to have a 'public' moment with JK as explained in my previous post on the Dynamite Reaction Vlive. And given as that moment was interrupted, I expect him to try that again. Whatever message he wanted to deliver it seemed more intended for JK as much as us their supporters.

He has been pretty active on social media lately in the days leading up to JK's birthday. He seems to be gearing up for something. He ain't slick.

So yea, part of me hopes and expect him to do something nice, to make a statement similar to last year's but I cannot ignore also that there's been a lot of eyes and attention on Jikook a lot lately. More so than usual.

Posting something of that nature would single them out and only escalate the situation especially if it is something that makes them both stand out from the others.

For context, I am talking about the heat they recieved as a result of the Dynamite MV. That heat is drenched in homophobia and they and BigHit could care shit about that as I explained in my previous post but you have to understand it can have a negative impact on their mental health.

I mean, NamJoon is constantly being paired with JK a lot lately. It's almost as if he is keeping an eye on Him constantly if you know what I mean. Tae has also been keeping an eye on Jikook, outing Jikook's schemes and shenanigans before they happen like in that Dynamite MV Reaction VLive where he asked JK not to look into the camera during Jimin's solo commentary.

It's understandable. Their interest is as stake too. If Jikook go down, they are going down too. It's daisy.

What I'm saying is, Jikook is being monitored and it would be daring of Jimin to do something as grand for JK openly like that.

But who knows. If it's gonna make JK happy because they've both been through a lot this half of the year then JM would definitely definitely do it. He is defiant like that and he can be a bit of a dare devil when it comes to proving his stance to Jk. He wouldn't hesitate for a second. I love that about him.

Mad respect for him if he does. Mad mad respect for him if he does. But if he doesn't you'd all know why.

In conclusion, I'm saying I'm expecting something more than a happy birthday text from Jimin this year. I'm expecting something more meaningful, deep, coded and uniquely Jikook.

If it happens to be a proposal Ayla you can have all my shmoney! Lol

Signed,

GOLDY

[frozenartscapes]

@patricia-von-arundel Millie takes after her moms. She’s got one’s strength and the other’s inability to back down from a fight. As she grows up and finds more courage, it leads to inevitable results.

---

It all started with one, admittedly unfair, statement.

“My dad says your mom is nothing but a tyrant. And your other mom must be whipped pretty good to go along with it.”

Millie had gotten into an argument with this group of boys once they recognized her royal clothing. Her Mom had taken her out into the town centre to just get out of the palace.  And despite Mama’s insistence that they stay together, Mom tends to parent more at a distance, allowing Millie some free time by herself. Normally, that goes without incident for the ten-year-old.

Not this time.

“My Mama is not a tyrant,” she growled, clenching her fists tight.

“Right, and starting a war that killed thousands of people makes her a saint,” the boy teased sarcastically, “Saint Edelgard! The destroyer of lives!”

“She only did that because she had to!” Millie cried in defence, “She made the world better!”

The boy scoffed. He was definitely at least a head taller than her and older by a few years, and he sauntered right up to tower over her, “My dad used to have a good life before the war. He said so himself. But then your precious Mama swept in and ruined everything. Face it, brat, your mother is a heartless bitch. You’re just too stupid to see it.”

“You don’t know her!” Millie declared boldly, not backing down despite the fear in her gut, “You don’t know how kind she really is!”

The boy gave her a shove, one rough enough to send her stumbling backward. “The Emperor is a heartless monster, and the sooner someone offs her the better,” he spat, “I bet she doesn’t even really care about you! She’s probably got you brainwashed just like she did to that merc-”

She was too short to reach his jaw, so she settled for his ribs. And she struck him so hard she felt something crack under her fist. It was only once he doubled over in pain that she could reach his jaw, and she didn’t hesitate to make her move.

Byleth moved through the crowd, casually checking out stalls. It had been an hour since she and Millie had split up, and she figured it was probably time to find the girl. As she scanned the crowd, her eyes landed on a group of people all gathered around something near the far end of the marketplace. And they all seemed to be pretty riled up.

She headed over, and as she drew near she realized the crowd was watching a fight. A pretty intense one, from the sound of things. She pushed her way through and stopped dead in her tracks when she finally saw who was fighting.

“El is going to kill me.”

To Byleth’s horror - but also pride - there was her precious little girl beating the everloving shit out of a boy almost twice her size. Two others lay nearby, both down for the count. Millie had her own fair share of bruises and scrapes but none of that seemed to register as she continued to punch the boy. She had him pinned beneath her on the ground, using a hold Byleth had shown her in case she’d ever have to subdue someone without a weapon.

Byleth snapped out of her surprise enough to make her legs work, and quickly strode into the ring. With one hand, she lifted her daughter up off the boy by the back of her collar. For a moment, Millie kept swinging, now shouting angrily at the person intervening. But once she saw who was intervening, she let out a tiny squeak before curling in on herself.

“Do I want to know?” Byleth asked dryly. She was trying to play it cool. After all, she must have had her first fight when she was around Millie’s age. But then, this was Millie, a girl who until this point had never shown to be this aggressive and was also just as much Edelgard’s daughter.

“He called Mama a monster!” Millie cried, still hanging from her collar in Byleth’s grasp, “He said she didn’t love me!”

Byleth glowered down at the boy in the dirt. He met her gaze and cowered a little further away. Byleth then turned to the crowd, and stated firmly, “Right. Nothing to see here! Go on! Back to your days!” As the crowd dispersed, she then said to the boys, her voice low and dangerous: “You all had best head home and get those injuries treated.”

“I’m gonna tell my father about this!” one of the boys threatened.

“Sure. Have fun telling him how you got your ass kicked by a little girl,” Byleth told him, her voice still menacing, “I await his response.”

The boy snapped his jaw shut, mouth forming a tight line. With an angry huff, he and the others skulked off to deal with their wounds. 

It was only once they were gone that Byleth set Millie down, as she still wasn’t entirely sure her daughter wouldn’t run at them again. But Millie had deflated, and upon release she took a shaky step back, staring down at the ground in shame. Byleth watched her curl into herself, guilt consuming her, and quickly dropped to her knee to be on her level.

“Hey, now,” she said softly, wiping away the tears on her baby’s cheeks with a tender touch, “Come on, Kid. Don’t cry.”

Millie sniffled. “Am...am I in trouble?” she asked meekly, still not daring to meet her Mom’s eyes.

“Are you kidding? You took down three boys twice your size all by yourself! I’m glad to see you were taking our lessons to heart,” Byleth told her with pride. But then she frowned, remembering that she was the parent in this situation. Clearing her throat, she added, “But... You really shouldn’t go around picking fights.”

“But they said awful things about Mama!” Millie protested, “I just... I just got so mad! They were wrong! I couldn’t let them-”

“Hey, hey,” Byleth interrupted when she noted how worked up Millie was getting, “It’s ok. I know... I know what some people think about Mama and... It can be hard to hear those opinions.”

Millie rubbed some of the blood leaking from a gash on her lip away with her arm. “Did you ever get into a fight because of that, Mom?” she wondered shyly.

Byleth smiled. She thought about all the humorous times. Bar fights started because one drunkard couldn’t keep his mouth shut. Duels to defend her wife’s honour. Arguments settled by fisticuffs. But then there were also the...less...trivial times she had to defend her wife. Battles. Wars. Deaths of those she once considered friends.

“I’ll never stop protecting your Mama,” she told her daughter earnestly, “I love her so much, and it can be hard, sometimes, to think that not everybody sees her the way I do.” She drew a deep breath. Parenting was hard. “But sometimes... Violence won’t solve things. Punching someone won’t make them see your point of view. If anything, it’ll only make them less likely to agree.”

“But!” Millie protested. She was stopped when Byleth raised her hand to tell her she wasn’t finished.

“As frustrating as it can be, sometimes,” she continued gently, “As much as I want to prove to people how wrong they are, as much as I want to show them the truth, I know that sometimes I can’t. I can’t change everyone’s mind. Not even your Mama can do that. Sometimes people get so stuck in their way of thinking that you can’t pull them out of it. That’s just how people are.

“What’s important is that you know the truth,” Byleth told her, pulling her girl in for a hug, “You know your Mama loves you. You know who she really is. What other people think doesn’t matter.”

Millie sniffled as she accepted the hug. “Is...is Mama going to be mad at me?” she asked nervously, “For fighting?”

Byleth thought back to the times she came home from those bar fights and duels, beaten up and blood-spattered but triumphant, only to be reamed out by the Emperor for starting trivial fights on her behalf. She winced slightly before pulling back. She gently touched the beginnings of a black eye on Millie’s face and conjured up a healing spell. “What Mama doesn’t know won’t hurt her,” she said simply.

---

Mama was waiting for them when they returned to the palace. She knelt down as Millie ran up to her, arms extended as an open invitation for a hug. Millie accepted gladly, squeezing her Mama tight. Gentle arms wrapped around her. Soft words asked about her trip to the town. Millie settled into the embrace feeling nothing but comfort and safety and love.

Yes. This was the truth about her Mama.

After a moment, they broke apart. Mama instructed her to go wash up for dinner, and Millie happily obliged. As she scampered off, Edelgard stood and leveled a glance at Byleth.

Her wife winced. She knew that look. It was her “I’m not mad, I’m just disappointed” look.

“Hubert told me what happened,” Edelgard said, surprisingly a lot softer than Byleth was expecting.

Dammit. Of course Hubert saw it. Byleth had to stop trusting that man when he said he wouldn’t be following.

“Look, El, I...” Byleth sputtered, “Jeralt... He let me wander around markets when I was that age. Younger, even! And I just thought...maybe... She’s gotten a lot braver, El, and I just wanted to give the kid a little freedom, and-”

“He told me she was a formidable warrior,” Edelgard interrupted, her voice still suspiciously soft, “He told me she defended my honour with as much vigour and strength as you do.”

Byleth was at a loss of words. She felt like she was stepping onto a minefield - one wrong move and she was done for.

But then El chuckled.

“Figures she’d start to take after you,” she said lightly, that glorious smile on her face reliving Byleth’s panic.

“Oh thank Sothis, I thought you’d be mad,” Byleth sighed, feeling the tension in her muscles relax.

“Oh, I’m still mad,” Edelgard told her, suddenly her voice not very soft anymore. She watched Byleth tense again, as if she was preparing for the Emperor to whip out an axe from behind her back.

She smiled again, rendering Byleth only more confused. “Hubert tells me she fights well, but does little to block attacks. Rather, she just powers through them, leaving her open to injury,” Edelgard informed her, “I’d like you to fix that.”

[damereyconnection]

Admin Announcement

Hi Everyone,

You probably haven’t heard from me (Mod Supremequeenofthenerds) in a while and there’s a reason for that.

Last year the original mod of this blog, @melanoradrood, brought me and one other person on to help her with the blog. I don’t know where she is right now and I can’t get a hold of her, but I am sure real life happened and she got busy, which I completely understand. The trouble started right before DamereyWeek happened. I tried to work with the other mod on this blog, the mod who is currently running this blog, to see if we could work together to figure out the event together. What happened was this: Starting about two months before the event, there were over 80 posts in our queue at the time (yes I counted). There were so many so that the queue was still posting during the actual event and caused a distraction. When I tried to point this out to the other mod, she lashed out at me saying that no one told her not to inundate the queue with content (duplicated or mistagged or, in one notable case, gory and triggering and genuinely almost made me throw up when I saw it without warning).

When I brought this up to the other mod she lashed out at me and claimed that she was just posting what was in the tag and that she had never stopped me from posting what I wanted to post even when she had already posted everything that she possibly could.

She would even share my own personal fic announcements from my blog before I had a chance to add them to the queue on my own and then she yelled at me that she “couldn’t read my mind and didn’t know that I wanted to post them”. 

I have posted 4 of the last 600+ posts that were posted since Jan 1st 2020, I genuinely don’t even know how many she has posted at this point. And before that I only posted a few that were relevant because of how many were already in the queue and the ones directly related to Damereyweek2019.

Another thing of note, was how uncooperative this mod is, when I tried to make a suggestion she would run over me with her ideas, with how she wanted to micromanage people, and with how everything needed to be run to her specifications and understanding otherwise it would be a complete failure. She steamrolled over my 10+ years of fandom experience and tried to “explain” things incorrectly to me. She also got mad that our little corner of the fandom does not produce as much content as the other larger fandoms she’s in, which is just not realistic. If there are 100 creators there will be as many content posts as they can produce. When there are 50,000 creators, they will create as much as they can produce and will produce a lot more than a smaller fandom can. When I tried to explain things like this to her she continued to get defensive and lashed out at me and tried to tell me that I was stupid to think this fandom would produce enough to make 1 week’s worth of content for Damereyweek

In my opinion, a blog that is supposed to be a fun hobby shouldn’t be run like a business with a coworker who treats you like crap.  

I also have screenshots of all of this.

 You may ask why it’s taken me this long to break from the blog. To break from her. To be quite honest, it was egotistical of me. I wanted to make sure that my content was still being promoted and that you guys who don’t follow my personal blog or follow me on AO3 also saw the posts. I have heard this mod say that the minute she disagrees with something someone says she will “slam the door on them” because of her MBTI profile or whatever. And since the fight she’s not touched a thing I’ve posted, thankfully. IDK about most of you, but that really isn’t a healthy way to live when your policy is applicable to trivial fandom things or things that are not of high importance. There are some things I will slam the door on people for, but a bot misposting something it wasn’t supposed to because it couldn’t pick up human error is not one of them. 

 Another reason I didn’t want to break from this blog was because I was afraid that she would send hate messages to me and spike my anxiety once again. And I don’t know how many others out there would believe her over me. I genuinely love so many people in this fandom and I can’t imagine you all sending hate messages over anything like this, but it was still in the back of my mind. My hands are literally shaking as I write this. 

But I’m done. Maybe this quarantine is giving me perspective or something, idk, but I am done with this blog and the reaction it causes in me each time I see the name of it.

This was supposed to be a fun blog where people got to share ideas and pics and have fun, and all it has become for me is a source of anxiety and I’m done with it. If @melanoradrood (who brought us both on to help out with this blog) ever wants to collab on something I am more than happy to. But I am slamming the door on this other mod for my own sanity. I have been belittled and gaslit and for a time I couldn’t even look at this blog’s icon without starting to get a panic attack. I am looking out for me right now, and working on getting myself to a better place surrounded by people who don’t cause anxiety.

This was in no way meant as a guilt trip for anyone. If you want to continue following this blog or being friends with this mod that is your prerogative. This whole rant was purely about me and my relationship to the blog and why I am quitting, I am not trying to put anyone in any awkward situation, or make anyone feel like they can’t interact with this blog or the other mod’s personal blog. I just need to leave.

 If you want to follow me, I am still around @supremequeenofthenerds and I have another new blog coming soon that I think a lot of people will enjoy so keep an eye out for that.

P.S. @ the other mod, Here’s what it feels like to have 80+ Posts in the queue when you can’t do anything about it 

[laceymorganwrites]

On the topic of interaction

okay so I didn´t wanna say anything because I feel like every blog does it rn, but because there is so much negativity concerning it right now I´d like to share my point of view and give advice.

I´ve been on here for 2 years now, I would say I have a big following (not as much as others, but that never mattered to me)

I still never got that much interaction, but I´m always so happy when I see someone in my inbox or comment on my stuff (yes reblogs too)

I have to admit that I´m pretty sad that I don´t have any interaction anymore. I see other writers get compliments etc in their asks, I see them host great and creative events and do many other things with their followers

I am jealous that it works for them and not for me

BUT (here comes the advice part and it´s just my opinion)

I used to be someone who tried to force interaction, calling out how sad I felt, essentially guilt tripping my followers which is a fucked up thing to do and I regret it more than anything.

Yes, interaction and reblogs help your blog grow and get more recognition, but in the end it´s up to your followers whether they interact or not

I think all of us can be incredibly lucky to even get a comment once in a while 

Stop taking this for granted

I see especially big blogs get mad about not getting reblogs and it´s funny to me because they get so discouraged

what´s stopping you from creating and posting?

The harsh truth is that some blogs don´t get any interaction and that´s not even their fault

I´m just a small blog and people don´t really particularly like my stuff, they just stumble upon one of the hundreds of things I´ve written. And that´s okay. That´s more than I could ever ask for.

In the end we choose to write, we choose to post, we choose to create. We cannot control our followers and guilt trip them into interacting. 

If you don´t get any interaction maybe it´s just not meant to be.

It took me months to accept this truth, which is why I stopped reblogging those things, stopped reblogging q&a´s because nobody bothers, nobody cares. 

And that´s okay

As long as I have fun writing, I will keep on posting my stuff, maybe someone will like it.

That´s the very reason why I started this blog: I didn´t want any interaction, I just had nothing to lose. Yeah, my writing´s pretty shitty and I´m insecure about it and I want to be acknowledged by a bunch of people and fandoms but that´s just not gonna happen and that´s more than okay

I guess my message is just to stop making such a big deal out of it. If it bothers you that much you could always move to kofi or patreon or other websites where people have to pay for your content

[victorzsasz]

big long rant under here just about Joel and things... 

I was so close to reaching out again, I really think I should but I’m scared... I’m scared of what I’d do if it goes badly, like... I nearly killed myself twice over this, and idk... even with the support of my friend, I feel like I wont make it a third time. 

It’s clear that theres a big miscommunication between us. I honestly thought he meant forever, he didnt mean temporarily like he claimed in his rant, he meant never talk about yakuza to him ever, and I extended that to all my previous and future and other hyperfixations. I honestly thought he wanted me to stop info dumping and sharing my opinions and love for whatever Im hyperfixated on.... almost like thats exactly what happened before with another group of friends that he knew about, and knew how much it hurt me and was triggering for me but whatever. He never communicated anything about how he was doing beyond maybe saying he was stressed, how was I supposed to know all the bad shit that was going on in his life if he wouldnt fuckin tell me?! riddle me that! I think he only mentioned one thing about something to do with his apartment app being sent to the wrong place or submitted wrong or something like that, and he mentioned how much the movers costed. I only found out about his family when he got mad at me about my hyperfixation stuff, and I respectfully really slowed down and calmed down and even made a completely separate thing just so I could respect him and the boundaries he set but ookkkaayyy.... Like yeah, I know I’m not the best at communicating either, but at least I tried... Also, he fuckin clearly knows nothing about hyperfixations and what they are, I tried explaining once but I’m not the best at language, but like... theyre not coping mechanisms, it has nothing to do with mental illness, I wasnt dumping my mental health on him or whatever. Hyperfixations are just something I do as someone (Im almost certain is but never got tested) on the autism spectrum. its part of my personality and always has been?? Its really only something I do to people I trust and feel comfortable with because well... it made me loose all my friends in the past so now Im very closed off about it. I also do it on the internet but thats different.  I even 99% of the time restrained from talking about my TC hyperfixation because I just didnt think he was interested in that stuff and didnt want to hear about it and I didnt want to trigger him. Id tell him some small things sometimes if I just really wanted to tell someone about it, and id always make sure he was okay with me telling him about it before I told him.... Not that he ever really seemed to care about anything I told him... Also, hated how he acted like he himself isnt petty when like...the only way he couldve seen anything he talked about, hed have to go months through tweets or posts just to find anything.... alright... also hes done a fuckton of petty stuff, like yeah I can be petty at time but dont act like youre not or youre above it. Also, like the reblogs werent guilt trip things?? Im sorry I wanted to fuckin express my feelings on my own personal blog???? thats honestly how I felt because I have fuckin bad depression, and trauma??? especially when it comes to discussing my interests??? He was the only person I talked a lot to about my hyperfixations, and so like.... of course I felt isolated and alone and like I had no one to talk to, because he was the only one and he never shared the same amount of interest in it (because hes neurotypical) and I just felt like I was annoying him and he couldnt relate so even tho I was messaging him about it, I still felt alone and like I had no one to talk to about it that could relate or anything like that. I legit had one friend, of course I felt alone. I honestly would like to apologise about how sometimes Id say lame or nerd or something like that after youd share stuff you liked, they were always meant as jokes, and im sorry if they didnt always come off as them. I shouldve specified they were or said jk jk all the time or something like that. I guess my stupid brain just always thought you knew as well?? theyre not very funny jokes anyways, and Im sorry... not that theres anyway you can see this... i dont think? theres still a lot I feel and want to say, but this is long enough already and I want to play stardew valley and i know you wont see this so like... whats the point besides getting my personal venting out

[findingyouagain]

personal rant down below. pls feel free to ignore

apparently asking my mom to stick up for me when my sister starts yelling at me about stupid things like accidentally spilling a drink upstairs, putting a sweatshirt on top of the dresser to block the box lights, her yelling at me over having a fan plugged in & on downstairs is “not something we need to talk about” & “your dad & i are working with av. on her anger” ( um bitch where she’s upstairs all the time & you bitches are downstairs 24/7. what are you having telepathic conversations about her anger issues ??? & yes im at the house all the time so its not like its happening when im not around ) & “you & kar. are out to get avery & get her into trouble & that’s why you keep bringing up old stuff” ( no we keep bringing up old shit bc if i had broken a door in this house i would have to pay to fix it & have all my shit taken away from me ).

also apparently when getting into heated discussions about the severity of covid-19, racism & how making jokes about stereotypes is racist, & other “political” issues ( aka human rights issues ), me pulling out articles & quoting scientific fact is “handling it wrong & attacking them” & my mom literally said she just shuts up & stops listening to me bc she doesnt want to hear it aka she’s not open to having her opinion changed on anything so y’know Fuck all of the kids who might die bc we have to open the schools back up & fuck their family members who might get sick if they bring it home & all the teachers & our schools arent eve requiring kids to wear masks just the teachers. & my other two sisters are going back to uni next month & one of them keeps fucking complaining about having to wear a mask & she fucking cheered the other day bc her school isnt in one of the counties in our state w/ mask requirements so when she has to go to this stupid sorority thing that they could do over fucking zoom next weekend, she’s just gonna be out there exposing herself & others to whatever fucking germs she has & im just so fucking tired.

& even my youngest sister was backing my mom up & was like “its just arguing all sisters dont get along all the time” & im like no av. has been physically & emotionally abusive to me & made me feel like i dont deserve any of the space or air i take up in our shared room the past 7 years & y’all are just mad that kar. & i are sitting here quietly & putting up with it anymore. & then she said “you just have to let it go & move on & like forgive her &  giver her a second chance” like no bitch this is her like 15th chance, im done. im so fucking done. but i cannot move out ?? bc i dont have a car. & i dont have money for a car or an apartment & i have no fucking friends & every person who is ‘supposedly’ my friend from home or school & shit, it’s always me who has to reach out first. always. & im tired of not feeling needed or wanted. but then oh why havent you done the dishes or the towels now im crying upstairs after ls or vacuumed or cooked yet. & when i do those things & ask for help from my sisters it’s well you’re not our parents & you cant tell us what to do.

& its my dads fucking bday & i spent the day making him a cake ( his family’s recipe meaning i had to call his parents who constantly harass me about my weigh t& my clothes & my hair & theyre racists homophobic assholes who i will never come out to but cant fucking cut out of my life yet bc i still live at home w/ my dad & bc their other son is supposed to be helping me get a car & bc they had to cosign my student loans last year & they told me i ha to watch what i eat as the stipulation for them signing & also they fucking guilt trip me anytime i spend more than a couple days not talking to them & explicitly try to make me feel bad that i enjoy the company of my mom’s parents more ) & now im upstairs crying bc i got into it w/ my mom while he & av. went to go pick up the pizza which is the only reason i brought it up.

oh not to mention the text btwn my mom & dad that i accidentally saw where they explicitly said kar & i implied we wanted av. to be put under a 72 hr psych hold as if asking that she be held accountable for her actions & not throw toothbrushes at us & shit is the same thing as that ??

so in case you were wondering no quarantine is not holding up great i fucking wish i could move out already but thats not gonna happen for probably a year & idk what to do i just need my own place so i can have space again & not feel like im constantly in it w/ 4-5 other people.

[aiimaginesbts]

Of Two Hearts: Chapter 2

Seokjin x Reader x Taehyung (ft. Jimin and Namjoon)

Genres: Royalty AU, angst

Word count: 6,112 words

Chapter 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10

Read the First Part: What You Never Had

A/N: Thanks Ann @godsavemefrombts for beta-ing this!

Disclaimer/Copyright

Your knees simply gave out.

There was no other word for it. Suddenly all the strength within you vanished into thin air, your legs could no longer support the weight of your body and you crumpled to the ground. “Y/n!” Namjoon cried out and went swiftly around his desk to rush to your aid. When he had you cradled safely in his arms, he turned to the messenger and said, “Thank you for giving us the news as quickly as you could. I have to ask you to refrain from sharing it with anyone else until we can figure out how to deal with it. Otherwise there will be panic.”

The messenger nodded gravely. “Understood, Your Highness.”

“You are dismissed. Make sure you get medical attention for your wounds at once.”

You were only vaguely aware of the messenger’s departure from the room. Any thoughts of Jin and Jimin flew from your mind; the only thing that remained was your father. The news left you in such a state of shock that your eyes didn’t even form tears. Yes, you had been dreading exactly this, but now that it really happened, you realised that you’d never really believed that it would. Regardless of the situation, your father was invincible in your eyes. He would live forever, you’d thought. Outliving you, even. That he would no longer be there, forever, shattered everything around you until you felt nothing.

Eventually, you became aware of Namjoon’s arms tightening around you, and your inelegant position on the carpet. You had no idea how much time had passed; for all you know, you’d only lost your mind for a moment or two, but it felt like forever. It hurt so very badly, that it wouldn’t have subsided in a million years. Yet the sun was still shining outside. It shouldn’t, in your opinion. It was the darkest day of your life, and you were unreasonably angry at the sun for continuing to be so warm and bright. That misplaced rage that should be directed of the faceless men of Zinnis pricked at the corner of your eyes, and it brought clarity. And with it, grief. You clutched at the lapel of Namjoon’s coat and sobbed. It was much more subdued than you’d have thought warranted on such an occasion. Truthfully, you wanted to wail and scream at the cruelty, the injustice, but you couldn’t. The passing of your father left you broken, and you felt weak. Your eldest brother’s support gave you the strength to let out your emotions in continuous but short, soft whimpers, and nothing more. Even though you knew that Namjoon was as stricken as you were at the news, perhaps he was as comforted by your presence as you were by his. Thus, you sought solace in each other, during that small window of opportunity when you didn’t have to pretend, until you needed to go on and be strong for the sake of others.

Unfortunately, that time wasn’t long in coming. News of the King’s passing spread like wildfire through the bordering villages, eventually making its way to the towns, then, the entire country and beyond. All at an alarming rate that you weren’t sure you were prepared for. Amidst the chaos that wracked the castle for the next two weeks came the confirmation that Jimin had escaped the ambush. Apparently, he’d been caught in the attack, but managed to flee with the help of the guards.

The guards. You had bitten the inside of your cheek so hard when you’d heard the message alongside Namjoon, trying to keep your tongue still and your face calm, that you could taste blood in your mouth from biting your lower lip. Relief that your second brother was safe was immense, but what of Jin? You were dying to know. However, that was the least of your worries. On the surface, at least. Even whilst still mourning for the late King, Namjoon had to take over the role — in responsibilities if not yet in name. The people were in a panic, and rightly so. In the castle, the overlapping voices of the nobles were only making everything more confusing, all of them anxious to make themselves heard, each one convinced that their opinion was the only one that mattered.

It was enough to drive you mad. You’d barely been allowed time to grieve for your father before you’d been drowned with responsibilities and your sense of loyalty towards Namjoon. He needed all the support he could get. Heaven knew how he was coping with it all. Even with the news that Jimin had survived, both of you couldn’t be assured of the fact until you’d seen him with your own eyes. It was even worse for you, since you couldn’t even ask after Jin without making yourself look suspicious, so you had two people to worry about.

“His my Royal Guard, after all. Perhaps it would be fine to ask?” You tried to cajole Ji Eun into agreeing with you, but the sentence ended up as a question, rather than a statement. Really, you were just trying to convince yourself. It didn’t even take much reasoning to see that there was no way for you to find out about Jin’s condition. Even if you inquired about him, you doubted that the status of each of the guards that had followed the late King and his youngest son were known. All you could do was worry about Jin all by yourself—

Your head snapped up sharply as you came to a realisation. No, you were not the only one worrying about Jin. Some distance away from the castle, his parents were surely wondering the fate of their only child. A twinge of guilt nagged at you when you remembered that you hadn’t visited since the day you came of age. The day that introduced you as the Princess to the whole world. The day that Jin discovered your true identity. So many things had happened since then. More importantly, sneaking out of the castle became even more dangerous, now that many of the citizens knew the face of their Princess. Thus, you’d stopped your clandestine visits out of the castle, limiting your outings to the ones carried out due to your duties. Clearly, those hadn’t allowed a trip to your beloved’s parents’ house.

Yet now you felt the urgent need to go. As painful as your concern for Jin was, his parents must be feeling it a hundred times over. Your hands fisted in your skirts in anger and guilt, directed inwards. It was shameful that you didn’t remember about it until now. Even though you hadn’t had the opportunity to communicate with his father often, since he was usually out the few times you visited, and the handful of times you did see him, you’d found that he wasn’t one for many words, Jin’s mother had always been friendly and welcoming. Perhaps she knew that there was something going on between you and her son. You wondered if she’d disapprove of your relationship, knowing now who you actually were. Surely the stopping of your visits didn’t help your cause, but you’d like to believe that she understood your position. And you wished that she would have blessed the feelings that you and Jin had for each other.

However, none of that mattered if something had happened to him. It was a moment of clarity for you. Jin’s life far outweighed the love you had for him — the very emotion that had been the center of your turbulent thoughts these past few months. You would do anything if it would guarantee his safety. Which made the whole situation all the more unbearable, since there was nothing you could do. You turned to Ji Eun, wearing a pleading look that put her on guard immediately.

Over three hours later, you flopped inelegantly on your bed and closed your eyes. Exhaustion from arguing with your lady-in-waiting can be felt not just in your brain and throat, but somehow all over your body. Yet it was still far from over, it seems. Neither of you had budged from your initial opinions; you asserting that Jin’s parents needed to be reassured, even if there was no reassurance to be given, and Ji Eun insisting that such an endeavour was unnecessary and out of the question. She’d only agreed to summon Jungkook to your study. When you’d asked her to do so, you’d been hoping that the guard would agree to accompany you on your visit. Yet Ji Eun had agreed to your request to bring Jungkook over quite readily. The right corner of your mouth dipped in a thoughtful frown. You had no doubt that she was browbeating Jungkook into agreeing to refuse any of your requests on their way back to you.

Maybe it was because you were lying flat on your back, but your sigh felt especially loud and heavy. A few moments of silence passed, then your groan filled the air as you sat up and brought your forehead to your knees. Jin’s soft but stern voice sounded in your head, reminding you not to do anything foolish or dangerous. With an unladylike groan, you shifted to press your eyes against your knees, as if that could block out his sensible words. It hurt to think of him when you didn’t even know if he was still alive or not. You had always followed your instinct, even though you knew that it wasn’t the wisest course of action. Yet this time it was your head that told you to go to provide comfort to Jin’s parents, and hopefully, selfishly, gain some solace for yourself, too. However, your instinct remained unmoved, giving no drive for you to move. Instead, you heard — or perhaps remembered, you weren’t sure — Jin’s warning, advising you against it.

Even though you had no idea what it meant, a wave of unease washed over you. All of a sudden, you felt unsure and extremely vulnerable. All the more Jin’s absence left you completely lost. You had taken him for granted, and now only when he wasn’t around that you knew how much you needed him. Remorse filled you as you remembered how you’d avoided him for the past few weeks. It was hardly fair for him to be pushed away while you tried to figure out the obstacles in your relationship. Especially when he’d been fully aware of the impossibility of the situation due to the difference in your stations from the very beginning. It was you who’d been convinced that everything would turn out fine, too short-sighted to really contemplate your obligations as a princess. Perhaps you shouldn’t have pushed him away, even if you couldn’t bear to share your insecurities with him. You had no idea how much you’d depended on him. Jin was the reason you had felt so safe, even when you were doing reckless things. Ever since the first day you’d met him, you knew he was your very own knight. Not just because he was your personal Royal Guard. You just knew that no matter what you did, no matter how dangerous the situation you found yourself in, Jin would be there to save you.

But Jin wasn’t here now. Even if he had survived the Zinnis ambush, there was no way he could come to your aid should something happen. The chaos inside the castle was just a small sample of the state of things outside in the capital; the whole country was in a state of unrest. People were surely anxious and fearful of the fate of their youngest Prince, all the while preparing themselves for a war. It was inevitable now. You didn’t have to ask Namjoon to know that even leaving the castle fully guarded was ill-advised; to sneak out with only one protector would be foolish to the extreme. As it was, you were sure that you were already halfway to insanity, arguing within yourself with someone who wasn’t even there.

By the time Ji Eun returned with Jungkook to meet you in your small study within your suite of chambers, you were already weary from your battle with yourself. Still, you tried to appear collected and authoritative as you sat behind your desk; the way you should appear. You could tell that Ji Eun had already warned him of the request you wanted to make, and couldn’t blame him for holding himself so stiffly, as if bracing himself for something unpleasant. And just a short while ago, you would have gone ahead and told him of your initial request. “Jungkook, I have been told that the Royal Guard Seokjin’s parents live in the capital,” you said slowly, carefully weighing the words on your tongue before uttering them. “Do you know where it is?”

He looked surprised, but nodded, wide-eyed. “I have been to visit before, Your Highness.” Of course; you remembered that Jungkook was Jin’s junior in the military academy. The younger man looked up to him, and so Jin had taken it upon himself to keep an eye on Jungkook. They had gotten rather close. You tried to work the words out in your head before saying them. It didn’t seem like he suspected your feign of ignorance. Your words made it seem like it was just something you’d heard in passing. Perhaps a tidbit that Jin has shared with you himself. He was your Royal Guard, after all.

In the end, you decided to stay as close to the truth as possible. “They must be worried sick about him,” you conveyed your real feelings with words disguised as concern as a princess. “Would you mind checking in on them to make sure they are alright?”

“Of course not. I would be happy to.” Jungkook’s soft sigh of relief followed his agreement, and you had to try hard to pretend that you didn’t hear it. Even though you had no idea what Ji Eun had told him, you could easily hazard a guess; a favour, probably unpleasant, and definitely dangerous to your safety. You bit back a wry smile. Jungkook was lucky that you weren’t being wilful today, you supposed. Truth be told, you really wanted to go — the original request that you’d had for him was to accompany you there. But somewhere between sending a reluctant Ji Eun with your request and Jungkook’s arrival, you’d changed your intentions. You were sure that she would ask you why you’d changed your mind, but you didn’t have a ready answer. It wasn’t as if Jin was by your side, persuading you to abandon the idea, as much as you’d like it to be true. It didn’t matter, anyway. Even if you did go, what could you do, other than apologise for not visiting for so long due to the real nature of your position? How would you even explain that — posing as a commoner and making their son fall in love with you, only to end up in a relationship that couldn’t possibly head anywhere? You knew you couldn’t bring yourself to reassure them that Jin was fine. Not when you were worried and deathly afraid that might not be the case yourself. Your shook your head mentally, forcing yourself to focus on the two people actually in front of you, and off the person who wasn’t even there.

“Thank you, Jungkook. Do let me know if they need anything,” you said with a nod, dismissing him. A part of you debated the wisdom of telling him to relay the message saying that you were praying for his safe return, but you decided against it. Although Jin had probably told his parents who you really were, you weren’t completely sure of that fact. Even if they knew, you couldn’t guarantee that they won’t say something about your relationship with Jin to Jungkook. Best to play it safe and not ask him to say anything about you at all. However, just before he could leave the room, you asked him, “perhaps it would be best not to let others know of my request. I do not want to be seen as having favourites, but I do not know the circumstances of the other men in the group.” It was a lame excuse, since you were playing favourites, in a way. But it was the only way you could think of to inform Jungkook not to tell anyone else. You trusted that he wouldn’t if you’d instructed him not to.

Jungkook nodded his assent, then left. As expected, your lady-in-waiting immediately pounced, insanely curious as to what made you change your mind. You were aware that you were the most obstinate person, which was why she wasn’t completely satisfied when you said it was your instinct. Surely there must be something more, she’d said, and you would have agreed with her if you hadn’t known your own heart.

It turned out that your guts had been pulling you in the right direction, after all. The sun had barely left the skies and the darkness had hardly claimed the night when Ji Eun arrived with a message. She took care to be suspiciously quiet, even though she was visibly excited — her eyes were wide, mouth opening and closing like a goldfish, as if she couldn’t believe the news herself, even though she was the one delivering it. After taking a deep breath, she exclaimed in the lowest voice she could muster, “They are back!”

“What?” You asked cluelessly, never for one second thinking that such news would come at that moment. It took a few seconds for you to digest her meaning, but when you did, you started up from your seat, almost upsetting the tea service in the process. “You mean, Jimin—“

She nodded vigorously in confirmation, and your fingers dig into the soft material of the chair. “What about...” you choked on your words, too scared to bring yourself to finish the sentence. As if stopping in the middle would protect you from any bad tidings. But you didn’t have to, because Ji Eun knew exactly what you wanted to say. She nodded firmly.

Immediately you stood, ready to rush to Jin’s side, but then you stopped yourself. With your brain catching up with the instinctive actions that your body took, everything came rushing to you, and you sagged back into your seat. Relief unlike anything you’d ever felt before washed over you, even as your feet itched to run towards him. Thank goodness you didn’t leave the castle with Jungkook to go to Jin’s house earlier. You didn’t even know where he was, exactly, but you would search every nook and cranny of the castle if you’d followed your heart’s desire. Jin was alive! Just a few minutes ago your heart was heavy with guilt and the uncertainty of Jin’s condition. Right now he and Jimin were in the same building as you. You could hardly believe it. Yet you couldn’t rush to Jin like you wanted to. It was painful to hold yourself back, but you were thankful enough that he was alive. You could almost bear anything as long as he was safe.

After composing yourself as best you could, you started out of your chambers with Ji Eun. You wanted to see your brother. At least that wasn’t out of the ordinary. Hopefully Jin was there with him. However, when you arrived, he clearly wasn’t in attendance, since the only people who were present in Namjoon’s study was himself and Jimin, but upon seeing your second brother, thoughts of Jin was easily put aside. After all, even though you knew that he was alive, you’d been just as concerned about Jimin as you were about Jin. Yes, you’d known that Jimin had survived the attack early on, but that didn’t mean you weren’t worried about him. You wanted to make sure that he was unhurt — at least physically; you were sure that the passing of your father had affected him even more than it did you, since it happened in his presence — and simply to reassure yourself that he was there. He looked haggard, and your heart cried for him. The physical, mental and emotional exertion of the travel and the ambush had clearly taken a toll on him, and even though he smiled the moment he saw you, the expression was tired, almost strained.

With no regard to propriety, you ran towards Jimin, stopping short just before you crashed into him. Grabbing his forearms, you assessed him from top to bottom, eyes narrowed to catch every single scratch. It might not have been a good idea, though. There were more than a few scratches on the younger prince, even a gash that you were sure was the surface of an even deeper wound. He was in one piece, but every single injury on him tore at your heart, making you tremble and envisioning tearing faceless men limb from limb for laying their hands on your brother. For a short while, Jimin indulged in your quiet assessment of his well-being. But it didn’t take long for him to deduce that you’d never be completely assured, and so he runs his thumb gently over the creases between your brows. “I’m fine,” he informed you.

Your lips trembled at his voice; whether it was because you missed it, or because you knew that he wasn’t actually fine — not really — and you threw your arms around him. Pressing your face as hard as you could against his chest, you managed to keep the tears at bay. “Do you have any idea how worried we were?” Your muffled words were more watery than angry, devoid of any actual accusation. Jimin was home, and that was all that mattered. Losing your father had caused you enough grief without having to cry over your brother as well, and you knew Namjoon agreed. After calming yourself down, you and your brothers had a long talk over the devastating incident.

Listening to Jimin’s first-hand recounting was a painful but necessary experience. The gist of it was as you’d heard from the messenger, but Jimin filled in the blanks. He was inside the carriage with the late King, going over the more important issues that they’d hoped to discuss with the King of Zinnis, when shouts rang from outside. The men from Zinnis far outnumbered the guards protecting the carriage, easily decimating the ones from the right of it with hardly any time for your men to sound the alarm. From Jimin’s point of view, the enemy was on top of them before he could even draw his sword. The shock and force was such that he wouldn’t have been surprised if the sturdy carriage had overturned from the sheer strength of horse and men. Jimin had rushed outside to join the men, while being wary of straying too far from the carriage.

Yet it was all for naught. As he was furiously slashing at his enemies, a hand had pulled on his shoulder, and he almost took a swipe at the unwitting man behind as he turned around. “It was Sir Kim Seokjin.” Jimin’s voice remained calm, but his eyes flicked in your direction for an instant before settling on Namjoon again.

The eldest Prince frowned in confusion. “Kim Seokjin?” He asked, unfamiliar with the name.

“Y/n’s Royal Guard.” Jimin nodded towards you, and Namjoon made a sound of recognition.

“Ah. Yes. He was the one who discovered the pirates’ hideout, wasn’t he?” Your eldest brother turned towards you for confirmation, and you muttered your assent.

“He had also protected her on several occasions,” Jimin added, and you looked at him carefully. Was he up to something? You had convinced yourself that Jimin wouldn’t reveal the relationship you had with Jin, but it wasn’t hard to put yourself on guard.

Namjoon shot you a withering look, clearly disapproving of the fact that his baby sister had needed so much saving in the first place, but thankfully he didn’t comment further. Instead, he told Jimin to continue with his tale. After jumping back to narrowly escape Jimin’s blade, Jin had fearlessly approached your brother again, grabbing his arm to urge that he leave at once. You had to bite back a whimper when he’d refused, telling Jin that he had to protect the King. Somehow you’d known, even before Jimin sadly recounted that Jin had shook his head and pointed towards the carriage. In the midst of fighting, they had unconsciously moved away from the vehicle, but they were still close enough for Jimin to see your father lying in a puddle of blood on the ground next to it. Even though days had passed since receiving the news on your father, you remembered the devastation that you had felt — and was still feeling now. So you weren’t surprised to find out that Jin had dragged Jimin, who would have remained immobile in his state of shock, away from the chaos of battle.

“I was completely useless,” Jimin berated himself, hanging his head in shame. Even though he’d confessed that Jin had to fend off the attackers as they made their way towards some horses to escape, you couldn’t bear to listen to your brother’s self-loathing. You moved to sit next to him, enveloping him in a fierce hug.

“You are not useless,” you said firmly. “If you hadn’t escaped, Amaryll would have lost their King and their Prince. And I would have lost my brother, too.” A sob lodged in your throat, so you cleared it to ensure that it wouldn’t escape, composing yourself at the same time. “Our remaining men followed you to make sure that you are safe, and that is why there are as many survivors as there are now. You saved the lives of those men.”

Jimin’s only response was a wan smile, acknowledging your point, but you knew his heart wasn’t able to accept it, even if he understood it in his head. Suddenly desperate not to see his heartbreaking expression for a moment longer, you tried for a change in subject. “How are we to proceed from here?”

If the hushed voices that the three of you were using before was unsettling, the silence following your question was deafening. None of you knew what to say. It wasn’t that no one had the answer. That much was apparent. It was that neither you nor your brothers could bring yourselves to form the words. You nibbled on the inside of your cheek, regret sprouting from asking. However, you knew that it was something that needed to be addressed, and better sooner than later.

Your second brother was of the same mind, because he stated, “tongues will wag, but your coronation cannot be postponed, Namjoon. There will be chaos as it is, when word goes out that Father was murdered. We need to present a confident and prepared front.” After seeing Namjoon blanch at the suggestion, Jimin added, “it can be a simple one, just for formality.”

There really was no way around it, so in the end your eldest brother agreed. The rest of the evening was spent planning the occasion, as well as discussions on the first steps to be taken to prepare for the war. Everything must appear to be in place before informing people on the lower chain of command, as well as the masses. It all went more smoothly than you’d expected. Calmer and orderly. The ministers were clearly distressed by the news of the King’s passing, but you three siblings worked clinically, showing no effects from the heavy loss.

And you were still in the state of mind when (maid) found you later that night — in your night clothes, with your hair brushed down, ready for bed — yet sitting on the edge of it. Staring blankly at the floor, as if detached from reality. Your mind was just a blank, but nowhere ready to rest. Even when she called for you, your “Hmm?” was said out of habit more than anything else. In truth, you didn’t even notice her presence. You didn’t notice anything; not even the soft mattress you were perched on.

“Sir Seokjin is here to see you. I told him that it is very inappropriate—“ Her distressed tone barely registered with you, and when she ended her speech with a question, you simply answered with, “fine.”

“Fine?! But—“ her shrill reply was cut short by soft footsteps on the plushly carpeted floor, but you only felt relief that she’d stopped. You simply couldn’t summon the energy to move, not even an inch.

That was until heavy, comforting hands rested upon your shoulders. It startled you enough to make you look up into brown eyes that were filled with worry. “Jin?” It was hard to believe your own eyes. This was like a dream. Or a nightmare. All of it. Reality’s cruel weight suddenly crashed down on you, leaving you broken, a sobbing mess. The only thing keeping you sane was his arms around you, squeezing you so tightly as if to keep you together. It felt like he was the only good thing in your life at the moment.

“You’re alive,” you gasped, clutching at the front of his shirt. You needed to hold onto him, lest he disappeared like you’d seen so many times when you were asleep.

His response was to tighten his hold on you. Even though his breath that softly blew against the top of your head was warm, his words were more comforting, oddly. “I’m sorry.”

It was just that. He was sorry — for the death of your father, for his failure at protecting him, at the situation you were in now — it might be for one thing, or it might be for everything; you didn’t need to ask. There was no doubt that Jin would always want the best for you, and would do anything for your sake, and so just those simple two words conveyed enough. You nodded, throat still too clogged by your sobs to say anything.

He held you until your tears subsided, then coaxed you to sit side by side on the edge of the bed. Ji Eun had discreetly made an exit sometime after showing Jin in, and you were grateful for that. She was your confidante, but there are things that you just couldn’t share with her. Besides, you had always felt that she had often shouldered more than her share of burden, with your recklessness and frequent (some nobles might even say unhealthy for a woman) interest in Amaryll’s affairs. She also didn’t know Jin as you did, thus you wanted this time alone with him, after so long being apart, to just be the two of you.

“You’re hurt,” was your next, obvious assessment to his well-being. It was all you were capable of at the moment, but he understood the sentiment behind it. There was nothing you could do about him being in dangerous situations, yet you wouldn’t be able to stop yourself from worrying. The best he could do was be forthright with you; so you could fuss over him when he was injured and feel genuine relief when he was not. It was better than hiding his pain from you – you had pointed that if you discovered that he was lying, even just once, you could never believe him again if he tried to reassure you that he was fine. Of course, you never wanted him to be hurt, but as long as he was alive, that was the most important part, in your opinion.

While he did not escape the ambush unscathed, Jin hadn’t sustained any serious injuries. After examining his cuts and bruises, you felt slightly more like yourself. It should be unsettling, to see your beloved in this state, but the fresh scars were undeniable proof that he was indeed alive. That simple fact did wonders for your frayed nerves and battered heart. Neither of you talked much. Whether it was because there was not much to talk about, or because you were both physically and mentally exhausted, or both, you weren’t completely sure.

It was comforting, but it wouldn’t last for long. Jin suddenly stopped moving, as if deep in thought. “So, we are at war now,” Jin sighed. You nodded, but you could tell that this was not what he wanted to say. There was also a forbidding feeling that you weren’t going to like whatever it was he was going to bring up. “It’s inevitable, of course, considering what happened.” Not knowing what to add to the one-way conversation, you made a soft sound of assent. “Zinnis may be a smaller country, but they are renowned for their military strength.” That was not news to you, either. While Amaryll is more than twice the size of Zinnis, most of your people were farmers and merchants, not soldiers. Trade was what your country was known for, and with its abundant fertile lands, Amaryll was a prime target for Zinnis. “We will need all the help that we can get if we are going to win this war.”

A part of you had anticipated what Jin was getting at from the beginning, but you were still unprepared to tell him the truth. He laid his hand on yours, and only then you noticed that you were trembling. Your hands clasped atop your lap were almost completely covered by his large one, and the sight fascinated you, for some reason. You just couldn’t look at the expression on his face right now. He called your name in a voice that was so gentle and kind. It was the reason you took his hand the first day you’d met him – he made you feel protected, like everything was going to be all right. Even as the world was crumbling all around you.

“My feelings for you will never change, even if you marry someone else.”

“How could I possibly?” The question was high-pitched with anger and cracked with pain as your head whipped around to finally look at him. Jin’s beautiful features were calm, already accepting the fact, but his eyes were filled with sadness that was more similar to your own feelings. “You’re the only one for me, Jin. You always have been. How could I marry Prince Taehyung?” Voicing it out in front of him for the first time was like finally validating the truth that you’d been trying to deny for so long. Once again, tears formed anew.

Jin raised his free hand to cup the side of your face, slowly brushing away the tears from your left cheek. “I have always known that this would never last. You should have known that too.” Yes, you knew that Jin had thought about this from the start. That was why he had refused to prolong your relationship when he’d found out who you were. Still, you had never wanted to believe that was true. It might be foolish of you. And it was definitely idiotic to want to continue believing that you and Jin still had a chance to be together. Your head knew without a shred of a doubt, but your heart remained unmoved in your feelings for Jin.

He brought your head to rest on his chest, and you went readily into his arms. Even though his stroked your hair softly, Jin had no intentions on letting you continue evading the inescapable. “The Crown Prince of Delphina has military strength that rivals – maybe even surpass – Zinnis. He himself has been known to be a great leader. And he hasn’t treated you with anything other than kindness and respect, has he?”

You cringed at the way Jin had phrased the question. Of course he had noticed the interactions between you and Prince Taehyung. The Crown Prince was admirable, friendly, and you liked him very much; but you had never been unfaithful to Jin. Nor did you ever want to. Just one look at Jin and no other man could compare. None could remain in your mind, not when Jin already had your heart. But your station forced you to listen to Jin’s words. It reminded you of your duty to your country. The position that you had been blessed with is one that made you act on the behalf of your people at all times, even at the cost of your own feelings. An alliance with Prince Taehyung would mean saving thousands of lives. The lives of your people. It could mean Jin’s life.

“No, he hasn’t.” You whispered brokenly.

[starcityhq]

WHAT: The Justice League and the Avengers officially combine to form The Avenging League of Justice - or The Avenging League for short. Batman and Captain America lead the first meeting to discuss strategies for combating NOVA. Egos clash and chaos ensues, but teams are set and there is finally a plan in motion.

WHO: Batman, Captain America, Wonder Woman, Superman, Iron Man, Falcon, Loki, Bucky, Black Widow, Hawkeye, Superboy, Supergirl, Flash, Spiderman, Human Torch, Invisible Woman, Booster Gold, Zatanna, Oracle, Batgirl, Stinger, Wiccan, Scarlet Witch, Nightwing, and Red Robin.

WHEN: Tuesday, March 20th, 2020.

BATMAN: The meeting took much longer to organize the Bruce would have liked. The latest events in Star City were unfortunate distractions, but after the riot it seemed everyone was finally prepared to commit to the union of their prospective teams. The Justice League reformed years ago, but the only consistent members were himself and Diana - until Clark’s return. Even though Bruce would never admit it, it was his arrival that put life back into the idea. It made it seem more than possible; now, it was necessary. He gave everyone time to be seated. Even though there were several meetings he had with Steve in the past in preparation for this, he was still unprepared for the amount of people that showed. All of them he knew, even if they knew little nothing more about him than his reputation and, more recently, his real name. “We are here because we have a common goal and a common enemy.” He skipped the pleasantries and the thank yous. He expressed his gratitude to everyone he asked here and saw little reason to do so a second time. There were more pressing things to discuss. “Alone we have been able to fight them on a smaller scale, but that is no longer enough. If we are going to eradicate NOVA’s influence from Star City and prevent further destruction, we need to unite. I assume you all understand that, or you would not be here. During this meeting we will share what we each know about NOVA, their organization, technology, as well as their connections to a higher government. All of us have pieces of the puzzle. If we’re going to beat them, we must know everything about them. They are not infallible.” He paused, frowning. “I do know that they are currently perfecting a device that will not only de-power mutants, but meta-humans as well. Kryptonians and other aliens will not be exempt from this.”

CAPTAIN AMERICA: Steve had put on the Cap suit for the first time since... well the last time he had put it on had been for himself. But this time, he had put it on for its true purpose. And it was as if he was home in a lot of ways. Maybe that was cheesy, as Bucky always accused him of being. But it was true. All that was missing was the weight of the shield at his back. He had left off his helmet--his identity hadn't been secret since 1941--and he wanted to be able to connect to the people around him, some of them friends, some of them former allies, and some of them people he had fought against but who had changed for the better. With the League assembled alongside the new Avengers, it was the kind of thing deep enough to give him real hope. "Batman is right," he said simply. "For a long time, we've been letting these guys go unchecked, and they've been hurting people. Not just you and me, but people who need us. The riots really brought that out hard, but Batman and I started discussing this long before that. As Avengers, we're no strangers to operating against the flow of what is expected in pursuit of the greater good. With all of us combined with the Justice League, we can see the loose threads to pull on to unravel this whole thing. To protect people. A man much smarter than me once said 'one has a moral responsibility to disobey unjust laws', and we're in a unique position to see that injustice firsthand and to work together to bring this city back to a place where people can feel safe again." He glanced around at everyone at the table. "As Batman said, we all have the tools, but separate we're just people. Together, we're more powerful than anything they can throw at us. It's not gonna be easy, but we've all faced hard things before."

SUPERMAN: It was years too late, what they were doing. They’d all bowed out and Clark had championed it, like a fool, so the injustice they were speaking of correcting felt a little more like picking up the pieces that should’ve never fallen in the first place. He’d dealt with that feeling for awhile, though, and there was no more room for the guilt when he (they) had finally decided to move again. So he gave Bruce and Steve his full attention, suppressing the swell of gratitude and relief he felt at seeing them at the helm of what they were doing. On their own, none of them had been able to right the wrongs that had happened, but he had not a single doubt that all the people around that table were capable of pulling together to do it. “There are a lot of people outside of this room depending on us to get this right. I know we can do it.” He glanced around at his Justice League compatriots and all the new faces of the Avengers he hadn’t officially met. “That’s why we’re here. NOVA has had a lot of chances to hit first, and I think it’s time we took some of them away.”

BLACK WIDOW: Natasha didn't speak. She didn't need to. Seated between James and Clint, it was like coming back from a long trip as she watched Steve give one of his keystone inspirational speeches. Her green eyes flitted around the room, marking the rapt expressions on most of the faces. Ever so subtly, she moved to slip her fingers into Clint's. They had plans to take him to James' therapist. They'd get his memories unlocked, but she was sure he was probably feeling lost, even if she had filled him in about NOVA and he had been there for the riots. He belonged here. He was an Avenger, but she wondered what was going through his head. Self-doubt, likely. He didn't remember this part of his life. Still, hearing Steve speak for the first time was a sobering experience for her. She wondered what it was like to get a second first time.

ZATANNA: Zatanna did her nails while everyone sat and listened. The brush moved on its own, though she occasionally had to twitch a finger to keep it going. She knew why she was here, obviously, but at the same time, she knew nothing about NOVA, and all she really wanted to do was set the bastards on fire. Maybe have ants eat them from the inside out. This was what happened when she was left alone and allowed to get creative. Flicking a wave at Bruce, she added a flourish of bats into her nail polish just to amuse herself. She showed them off. It wasn't her fault she could never be serious about this sort of thing. She dealt with eldritch horrors and world ending nightmares on a fairly regular basis. This was just bureaucracy. And the inspirational speech was lovely, but really, what did it accomplish? This is why she didn't work in groups, they spent too much time talking and not enough time doing. "So, do we have any concrete ideas? Or is this just a planning committee?" Her leg swung over the other, her foot tapping restlessly, she was the picture of impatience. "None of you fought this when it started. Everyone just accepted it and retired. I had to go halfway around the world and rehab my image for years to get people to think of me as just a stage magician so I could still keep the universe from getting cut open by the next greedy idiot who decided power was worth a lot of people dying. And now we're all here to pump some pompoms and talk about our feelings? Spare me." Normally she was better behaved. She'd been spending too much time with cranky wizards. "Look, I know I'm the asshole here, I know we have to fix things now regardless of what already happened. Proceed." She pulled a rabbit out of her top hat and fed it treats from her pocket.

WICCAN: Billy was a little starstruck, just as he’d been the first time the Young Avengers had suddenly been actual Avengers and were taken to the mansion. It was marred slightly by the idea that his mother was dating Batman, shattering the illusion just a fraction, but it was easy to forget while sitting around that table. Still, he wasn’t there to be a fan. He was there to be an Avenger and, first and foremost, help people. Even if speaking after Superman made him want to throw up just a little. “Since this...is a problem that is a lot bigger than just us, I guess I have a question already.” He looked up toward the head of the table at Bruce and Steve, “Are we sharing the information we have with the X-Men?” Obviously they weren’t the Avengers and they weren’t the League, but Billy was a mutant on top of all the rest. So was everyone in his family. If it was pure radio silence on that front, that sat wrongly with him. “...Glad to be here, though,” he added. He glanced only briefly at Zatanna after she’d spoken to say, “And we didn’t all retire.” He’d never put away his suit, even if changing the world on his own was...frowned upon, to say the least.

ORACLE: "Taking on big corporations and entities of evil takes time, manpower, and strategy. I think plenty people, here and not here, tried to fight off NOVA, but you can only fight government-backed and covered-up abuse so much on your own. I think that's the point," Barbara leaned forward, not at all mad that Zatanna spoke up, if anything she was amused at her friend, with a ghost of a smirk on her face. She was also more than used to at least some of the people here making their opinions undeniably known, so she continues without hesitation. She certainly doesn't disagree that action is the priority here. "As far as their systems, I've determined timeframes I can personally have them exposed and vulnerable, both virtually and physically. I'm still working on being able to do these things undetected, but that will come soon enough. We have ways in, but we need coordination. I also think," Barbara nods to Billy, "that the X-Men will be able to help us here. Magneto may have taken responsibility, but he didn't single handedly evacuate all of NOVA's 'patients' from that place. They have experience here that's going to be invaluable, and we'd only be making ourselves weak by not attempting to reach out."

LOKI: Loki had never been a part of a team really. He had been working with the JLD at the request of the other magic users, though very few people knew about his role undercover as Johan the insane NOVA scientist. He was in it for the chaos, sure, and for the security of throwing in with the people who had absolutely pummeled him when he had tried to take over Midgard--through granted, the Mad Titan had made him insane enough to get him to do it. He had needed to be pummeled. But all that aside... this talk of justice was all new for him. What Zatanna said was right on the tip of his tongue, and mischief danced through his eyes before he clamped down on it. "I agree with our esteemed 'stage magician'," he said simply. "While all the talk of--" He switched into Steve for a moment--"injustice and saving people and what we can do together--" Back to Loki. "Is extremely moving... on Asgard when such a threat was present, we, too, gathered our strongest warriors. However, the Council usually decided that waging war was the right go ahead unless, of course, we couldn't win. But can't she wipe things from reality?" He said, nodding to Wanda. "Mightn't it be a little simpler to look to the example of the man in the metal suit? There cannot be riots if there is no NOVA left." He nodded to the one in blue with the flowing red cape. "He looks to be an impressive warrior alongside Sir Justice. Zatanna is right, what are the plans?" Why, for example, was he gathering information for them? He was happy to do it, but if the reason wasn't to more efficiently wage war... what was it. He was legitimately confused.

NIGHTWING: Dick knew firsthand how difficult it was to run a team. People seemed to assume that those who had the initiative to head up a group had all the answers, or should, and didn’t recognize that it was a collaborative effort. The fact that Bruce was willing to entertain others’ ideas and not tackle this on his own was a surprising development; in his opinion, it made it clear that things were a lot more dire than most people were willing to admit. Steve’s speech was moving and was meant to inspire them. While he understood others’ frustrations, it frustrated him that it was brushed aside just because neither of them could provide all the answers. “The point is to avoid more death and destruction,” he said. “Seems to me like waging war without fully understanding our enemy and their abilities would be a mistake. We’re all here to share what we know, so we can come up with a solid plan that limits casualties. If any one of you actually thought getting together and sharing our expertise, and we have a lot of it, is an actual waste of time, then the door’s over there.” He didn’t have a lot of patience for people complaining about things not getting things done and then… offering little in way of concrete or productive plans that WOULD get things done. “Babs is right. This is going to take a great deal of strategy if we’re going to get the upper hand, especially because this organization goes way beyond what we’re just seeing in Star City. There are other government agencies involved. It goes a lot higher up, and... I don't know if we know the extent of it yet.”

FLASH: For once in his entire life, Barry hadn't been late to something. He was worked up and wired – but relatively calm for him. They were all supposed to be a team again; and in the spirit of camaraderie he had attended the meeting in costume – but lowered his cowl once inside the conference room. “Not all of us retired, Z... I just, sort of disappeared for a while.” He fidgeted but moved on. “Barry Allen – by the way; or uh, The Flash. For those of you that I don't officially know.” He waved slightly. What was a secret identity anyway? Barry shot a look at the man – Loki – as he shifted his form and questioned about a direct course of action. “Nightwing is right.” He gestured at Dick. “Wiping something – someone, people – from reality isn't the answer... just like messing with time wasn't the answer for myself or anyone else here that has the ability to do so--” He couldn't help but eye Michael slightly. “Uh, information, right. So, the only real information I have regarding NOVA is from a conversation I had with their lieutenant, a Jihl Nabel. She played the role to a tee but the is bad blood between NOVA and the SCPD. She left an agent behind to monitor our forensics department – which I gotta say has been incredibly annoying dealing with – but I think there might be a distrust among NOVA that the local authorities will refuse to continue putting up with their presence or no longer do as they say without question.” Barry explained at length before settling back into his chair. “Sorry I don't have more information... splitting myself between forensics cases and Flash-work has left little spare time to actual tangle with these guys.”

HUMAN TORCH: Being at a round table with so many other people was a far cry from the Fantastic Four. Just Four. Johnny didn’t know half of who he was looking at, and his own personal agenda was coloring everything in his life right then. He wanted to know what the hell had happened to Peter, and he was more sure than ever that NOVA was behind whatever it was. The weird isolation they’d had to maintain mingled with his own lack of patience and just plain irritation and he’d been unable to drum up his usual sunny self for the meeting. “Preparation and strategy, sure. That’s why we’re sitting here. But if we don’t start moving right now, people are going to get killed, and I’d rather take a shot at something before that happens. So, no offense, but I want someone to point in a direction before we walk away from this table. That’s what we’re doing, right? Because NOVA is up to something sick. I’m not...sneaky special intelligence guy or scientist guy or whatever most of you sitting here are,” he glanced briefly toward Peter and swallowed, “but I don’t want to sit on my hands anymore.”

HAWKEYE: Hawkeye was sat between Nat and Spider-Man, probably looking too casual for such a Serious Gathering: his long legs kicked out in front of him and his right arm was slung over the corner of the back of his chair, an arrow twirling effortlessly between his fingertips, while his left hand rested near Nat. He at least wasn't wearing his bright purple uniform. Natasha had taken him to meet a nice kid named Shuri who had designed a whole new get up for him along with a new bow and quiver, and he had fallen a little bit in love with her for it. The bow was gorgeous all sleek lines and reinforced vibranium with a two-hundred-and-fifty pound draw weight. He might have cried when she handed it over. Just a little. His uniform was just as nice, sleek and black with gold accents. It wasn't until after he saw the completed design that he realised that he had subconsciously designed both armour and a sneak suit. Sitting there Clint wondered if this was the sort've thing he used to do all the time when he was an Avenger. It seemed like a really big group. Like, they were all actual superheroes, unlike Clint who was just a mix of innate talent and crazy amounts of practicing/honing his skills, couldn't they just...take care of any problem they ran into? He was pretty sure Tasha could take these NOVA people single-handedly, but then again, he was probably biased there. Feeling long fingers slipping in between his larger, calloused ones he glanced over at the redhead, unable to help the dopey looking grin on his face. Yeah, he was definitely biased there. Not that he could help it, he could definitely see why past-him had stuck around the Russian ex-assassin, and her stunning good looks were the least of it. Her competence frankly both terrified him and brutally turned him on. But, those weren't exactly the kind of thoughts he should probably be having in the middle of an Important Meeting. ­

His thumb idly circled against the side of Nat's hand as he listened to everyone give their opinions on the current situation, but then someone spoke up that he actually recognised. Leaning forwards a little he looked around Natasha and Bucky at Loki, grinning as he nodded at him. They'd gotten drinks a couple times since first running into each other, thankfully the other times hadn't been quite as existential as the first one, but it turned out that Loki actually as a good listener and spilling his guts to the other man had made Clint feel a little less anxious and insecure about his situation. Sitting back he listened to Loki going on and found himself nodding along, and then he was pointing at the Trickster with the arrow in his hand. "I agree with Loki."

BATGIRL: It would be a lie if Steph was all for the whole strategic thing. She felt itchy, eager to get her hands wrapped around some NOVA agent necks, especially after what happened to Commissioner Gordon. The old Steph might have jumped in and said that without a second thought, especially because Zatanna was clearly on the side of action. Sitting on her hands and thinking things through wasn’t exactly up her alley. “Pretty sure we’re all here ‘cause we’re not going to be sitting with our thumbs up our asses anymore.” She shrugged. “But I get that we have to smart about it, especially if all of you metahumans could have your power wiped out like that -“ She snapped her fingers. “I mean no offense, I’m sure a lot of you have good hand to hand combat training, but I don’t like our odds as much if that’s what we’re left with.” Yawning, she combed one hand through her thick hair. Her head felt hot underneath the Batgirl cowl. “Anyone got an actual suggestion for action? What about Jihl whoever? Is she anyone important to just some trumped up figurehead?” Picking at her nails, she shrugged. “As much as I want to wipe out NOVA, they need to pay for what they’ve done.”

SCARLET WITCH: Wanda felt her blood go cold as Loki brought up her power. She had wiped things from reality on a large scale before. She had murdered thousands, destroyed lives, put a rift between teams. The mere suggestion had her uneasy, her dark eyes lifting to the Asgardian. For the most part, she worked well with Loki, but she wasn't going to sit by and let him suggest carnage and use her as an example. "I suggest you defer to those of us who know how things are done on earth, Loki," she said. "And I'd think carefully before making reference to powers you don't understand." She let out a breath, shaking her head before continuing. "I am aware that there have already been some pushes for information, but the League and the Avengers don't take action and the lives of others into their own hands to push their agendas like my--like Magneto. But my son and Oracle are right. The X-Men will be invaluable in this fight and while an alliance the depth of ours may not be necessary, their insight is important here." Pausing, she subconsciously ran a hand over the intricate beadwork of the crown her father had made her back before all of this. "That said... I question the methods of some of their members, as they have questioned mine in the past." She hated to say that. Hated it so much, but her father was formerly an X-Man and he had close affiliations with them now. He was one of those who helped run District X. "Do we have plans to talk with them directly about where they stand after the attack on the detention center?" Her father had taken credit and said he acted alone, but her sister at the very least had been involved and she wouldn't be surprised if there were others. "I know that Cyclops is a reasonable man. Surely approaching him is a good call when we discuss taking down NOVA?"

BOOSTER GOLD: While Michael didn't have much information to give, he was just happy that the band was getting back together again - this time with even more opinionated people. The suggestion of just wiping NOVA out made him nervous, if only because he knew it would really screw with time things and a mighty disapproval would be wrought down upon him. He caught the tail end of Barry's glance that he'd thrown his way, only to return it with a look of his own. A string of silent email notifications showed up on the screen of his phone which he had hidden on his thigh, distracting him partly as he skimmed.

He'd known that Steve had managed to recruit a sizeable collection of people for the Avengers, but lumping in all the others had a lot of opinions in one room. He still wasn't entirely convinced that he belonged there among them for a whole variety of reasons, but he'd agreed to it and still believed in the overall necessity of someone being around to extend a hand when the world needed it. Even a cybernetic one. "You can't just rewrite the world every time something goes wrong in it, and you can't cut off one head and walk away thinking another one won't replace it." HYDRA had taught him that much. It was naive to think anything had a simple solution. They knew NOVA ran deeper than just the organization itself or a single person. "This has to be as much an infiltration as a fight."

RED ROBIN: Tim sat quietly. Honestly... he wished he gotten a little more sleep before coming. He was running out of coffee and this was a lot of words. Beside him, Steph was her typical, to-the-point self. Action first, overthinking later. Tim was over-thinking always, action at just the right moment. Now, he finally nodded before adding to what Babs had said. "I'm working on the tech side with Oracle," he said simply. "NOVA's well protected digitally, but not impossible." After all, at the tender age of thirteen, Tim had been capable of hacking the social security office and other big government agencies. "We'll have a lot of their structure nailed down before too long here." He had taken a break to find Jim's attempted murderer, but he was back on it now, glad to be working with his father again, his family. He was aware that they were all here in the assemblage. All except one. But it wasn't as if Jason would ever be a part of a team like this. He could imagine the smart ass bitchy response that would come out of someone even insinuating it. "The point is, we aren't doing nothing. At least... I'm not and Oracle isn't. Batman and Captain America either." Obviously. Those two were the ones who had made all this happen.

SPIDERMAN: Peter reached over to take a hold of one of Johnny's hands wordlessly, as if the gesture would help to soothe the brusque tone of his words. He was right, though - they needed to nip this in the bud sooner rather than later, before it could get any worse than this. They already had the idea that NOVA had been behind Peter's sudden loss of control. How, though? Even during a forced isolation, courtesy of an overprotective Tony Stark, he was coming up empty handed. The video footage he'd managed to find showed no signs of interference, no one performing a spell or injecting him with anything. He came up empty handed and it was frustrating as all hell, but he wasn't about to quit now, especially not when there were a lot of questions still left unanswered.

IRON MAN: This had to be the place. Funny that he expected a window or two, but he should have known better given the reputation of the Justice League. Tony didn’t know why they bothered with secrecy when it was only a matter of time before everyone knew who each and every one of them were. He entered the room without (well, maybe a little) fanfare, holding a Starbucks cup in one hand and with Steve’s shield on his arm. He pushed up his sunglasses and squinted at everyone. “First time my eyes have to adjust to the dark for a meeting, I have to say. You ever heard of natural light?” He eyed Bruce and smirked, tipping his cup in his direction. “Say no more.” Circling around the room, he found an empty chair and raised a brow at the computer screen. “Ohh, nice tech. Willing to bet that 10% of this room is looking at porn right now.” He looked at Steve and gestured to the shield, his tone shifting to one more serious for the first time since entering the room. “Figured you might need this. The thing’s gotten to be a real eyesore.”

CAPTAIN AMERICA: Steve had been listening to everyone, letting everyone speak and hearing everyone's opinions. It didn't seem too dire, but there were concerns that he and Bruce were going to need to address when things seemed to settle down a little. It was fine. They had anticipated those things. The conversations that Bruce and Steve had had before had already laid down groundwork for going to Scott, for dealing with integrating the X-Men where they could. Sue was just about to speak when an all too familiar voice cut through the room and Steve's eyes shot up. Tony. Tony had actually come... Steve had asked him to. They'd been talking on the phone since the day Tony had answered. After seven years of phone calls and messages. All of them ignored until the day Steve had really needed him. When Steve's life had felt like it was falling apart well and truly. He had left the SCPD, Nomad was behind him, there was no real Cap in front of him, Bucky had left him and there was just silence. And then he'd kept answering. Kept listening. Tony and he weren't the same. They hadn't talked as deeply on a mutual level, and he could tell that he'd have to do the work to get the other to open up to him. But he'd just... listened. Hadn't given advice, hadn't tried to placate Steve. There wasn't even any bias when he'd talked about Bucky and the pain and how lonely he'd felt in his own damn home. It had been surprising for Tony because Steve had never known him to be feelings guy. But on that level it had given Steve so much hope that every night, Tony had just sat on the other line, listening or even just pretending to. And now here he was. Because he belonged here. Tony Stark was an Avenger and would always be an Avenger, and tearing their team--their family--apart had been one of the hardest choices he'd ever made. But he'd done it. And he'd do it all over again if he had the same options in front of him. But Tony... Tony he might have handled differently. If he could have.

As the other approached him, Steve's chest ached and his stomach tightened. "Tony," he said quietly. "You came." It was perhaps too intimate a moment to experience in front of all of the assembled company, some of whom didn't know him well. But he couldn't help it. Steve had never been the type of person to hide how he was feeling and he never would be. Even Tony's stupid joke fell on deaf ears as he held out the Shield. The Shield that would feel so right on his arm. That belonged with him but had been given back to Tony because he deserved to reclaim it. Because Howard had given it to Steve and Steve had chosen to relinquish it after everything. It was a part of him, and letting Tony take it had been like giving up part of himself. Now, as it snapped into place again, like it had always been there, like it had just been waiting for Steve and Tony to remember where it belonged, where they belonged, Steve's baby blue eyes burned. Steve Rogers felt the weight of Captain America. He felt... whole. "We'll talk later," he said to the other. "But... I'm glad you came."

INVISIBLE WOMAN: Susan shot Peter an apologetic look, though there was hardly much to do. Instead, she was privy to a one man show when Tony showed up fashionably late; honestly, it was completely on brand for him, so she didn't find herself so much as batting as eyelid, but she did sink into her chair a little lower as she watched the situation between him and Steve unfold. She had to wonder, though, how far had NOVA gotten with their anti-power technology. If metahumans were still untouched, then maybe she'd be able to sneak in undetected. After all - she wasn't the Invisible Woman for nothing.

SUPERBOY: Jon felt like he didn't belong in there, before he left earth, he was a kid, so he didn't have much time to prepare, didn't have much experience, he felt like he didn't deserve to be in that room with those people that have been dealing with that life, with being a hero, for far long. He was practically hiding behind his dad, felt like he was a kid again, maybe going in there was a bad idea, "Maybe someone should shapeshift into an agent of Nova, is there any shapeshifters in here? It would be a good way to get more information," He knew it was a dangerous plan, but it was really the only thing he could think about, and he wanted to help. But he was hesitating, because like was mentioned, he was new to it all. He was self conscious, didn't want to sound stupid, as if he was a kid among the adults, as that was how he felt in a way, "Or maybe if there's any technology that can change my appearance, I could do it, I would be up for it," he wanted to do something, wanted to help, and he was willing to do anything to protect others, and to stop more people from getting hurt. 

STINGER: This right here was exactly what Cassie had dreamed of her whole life. Before her, there were a number of heroes she'd looked up to since she was a toddler. The Wonder Woman poster had hung on her bedroom wall for a solid decade before she'd been killed, and now here she was, right along with them. She wears her Stinger helmet proudly, aware that her boss was one of the men leading this meeting and, to her knowledge at least, definitely did not know an intern of his was here. Of course, she'd deal with that later. Cassie didn't let herself miss a word, and when Billy spoke, Stinger could be seen nodding emphatically beside him. When the suggestion of Wanda's powers came up, she clenched her fist as her side, torn between chiding the suggestion and defending Wanda. Still, she keeps quiet a few moments more, and has to stop herself from letting out a loud 'UNCLE TONY?!' as he walked in. Still, beneath her helmet, she's grinning as he walks in, and her eyes dart from Steve to Tony, relief her main thought for only a moment. "The X-Men should be here," she added simply, having no interest in repeating previous points other than to state her place, "and unless we want to take a stage with Magneto, we should avoid drastic and unplanned charges. No matter how much I'd love to get big, step on one of their facilities, and be done with it? Not gunna be that easy." she leans forward, her wings at her back shifting in her chair, "seems like the most obvious thing we need is information. It's real easy to eavesdrop when you're the size of a bug, just saying. I can leave mics and cameras in their ventilation if we can get around the security. It'll also give us a layout of where we hit. Which, brings up the question," Stinger turns her attention back to the two men leading,  "are there any thoughts of an actual plan, or should someone start writing suggestions down?"

BRUCE: As Bruce waited for everyone to say their piece, he was less than surprised by the responses he received from a good number of the participants. Some he knew well, like Zatanna, but her less than patient stance wasn’t unique. Action meant different things to different people. Few of them knew just how much action was being taken, under the radar, and if they did know, he wasn’t altogether convinced they would appreciate it. Knowing the opponent inside-out was integral. If they moved too quickly, they risked being surprised by the vast intel NOVA acquired over the years from their various connections. Having insiders in their organization certainly helped, but he also had to consider the possibility that NOVA was utilizing the exact same tactics. They had to be careful. He nodded wordlessly to Barbara’s input, frowning, but the atmosphere in the room darkened noticeably once the focus shifted to the X-Men. Loki’s suggestion made him raise a doubtful brow. It certainly warranted a response. “This is not Asgard and strength is not enough.” Wanda’s powers being tossed out as if they were free for exploitation made his eyes narrow and he shook his head. “As I said, the weapons they employ have the ability to render us powerless. We are not in the position to rely solely on powers of mutants, metahumans, or aliens. I understand that there are plenty of you who want to go in aggressively. Forcefully. I am telling you that it will not work. We will not win. Like all of you, I don’t want to see more people killed or hurt, but we must be smart about what we do next, or it will all be for nothing.”

He glanced at Steve and then at the others, frowning. “Cyclops is a close contact of mine and has been from the beginning. We are in constant communication. They will have a level of involvement in how we proceed, but the X-Men have always been their own entity. The invitation is there for them to join us, but I can’t say it will be accepted. Regardless, we can rely on them as allies. They do not condone the indiscriminate killing that happened at the NOVA facility. As of now, I can’t tell you what their roles will be. It is something we are currently discussing - but I do not need to tell you that their assistance will be valuable in unraveling NOVA’s operations.” He hesitated, his gaze briefly going to Wanda before he looked away again. “I understand some of you would, perhaps, side with Magneto. If that is the case, this might not be the place for you. As tempting as it is to think we can follow suit, NOVA is more prepared for that possibility now than ever before. Magneto has seen to that.”

It didn’t come natural to discuss his plans with others or tell what he knew. However, even he knew there was little choice now. “We need to understand their technology so we can disable it. I have possession of the inhibitor that targets mutants, but I need their new design. They have it well guarded. The Flash is right that the SCPD can no longer be used as a way to infiltrate NOVA. The two departments do not trust each other and that will not change. And Oracle is working day and night to break into NOVA's security systems, but she needs help. The encryption changes too often for her to maintain all she does without sleep. I need someone who is good with computers - or someone who can learn. Quickly. I am not willing to wait and see what the X-Men are willing to contribute. We need to start now. We have already started, though most of you may not know it.” Jon’s suggestion earned a rare smile and he nodded. “We already have someone who has successfully infiltrated NOVA, putting their own life at risk to better our intel. At present we have no need of another. It would only increase our risk of being discovered.” Shapeshifting and magic would do little if NOVA were successful in perfecting their newest power inhibitor. Bruce nodded at Bucky, his expression somber, “Exactly. And while it may look to many of you that we are sitting on our hands, nothing could be further from the truth. This will not be a fight with loud explosions. This organization is insidious. It is very connected with every part of Star City and its citizens, including us. Disabling their systems, cutting off their resources, and sabotaging their technology is how we win. We only move when they are at their most vulnerable."

The arrival of Tony Stark was unexpected and aggravating. Bruce waited until he took his seat. He was respectful enough not to interrupt Steve, either, and gave the two a moment before continuing as if there were no change. This time he addressed Cassie, approvingly. “We have planted devices in some of their facilities, but there are certain areas our informant does not yet have access to, specifically the lab where they are developing their newest technology. It is well guarded. You would be invaluable if you were able to take us inside. It is something we will discuss later.” Crossing his arms, his frown deepened as he looked over the crowd. “Our plan is to thoroughly understand an agency that is unlike any enemy we have ever faced. Brute force may destroy one building, or the ones we know of, but more agents will come. Their technology will survive. Their agenda will continue and be bolstered by any acts of violence. There will be a time for that, but this isn’t it. The agency needs to be exposed for what it is. Then, when we do make our move, there will not be more agents to take their place. It needs to be eradicated permanently, or the amount of people who suffer and die at their hand will only increase.” He paused. "But we are here to collaborate, so if anyone here has a better idea for an approach that will permanently rid Star City of NOVA, do not hesitate to share it."

CAPTAIN AMERICA: Steve looked at Loki, sighing before he moved to pinch at the bridge of his nose. "Wars aren't won with brute strength. I've fought several. I know how they work. Battles might be, but we aren't battling. We're at full-scale war with an enemy we don't understand. And we are taking steps. Scott Summers and I don't speak constantly, but he's a good man and he wants to protect his people as much as I do. We want people to be safe and we want NOVA gone, but they can't be mutually exclusive." He looked to his fellow leader before nodding in approval. "Batman is right. In this case, shock and awe will never work and they'll wipe out half our powers before we even get into the gate. Some of us might make it unaffected. Not all of us rely on powers. But with our numbers cut into less than half, where would we be?" Steve caught Bucky's eyes with a meaningful look, as if to say 'Please watch him. After all, he didn't care if Loki wanted to mock or belittle him. But he did care if he brought the meeting out of hand. As Bruce brought up tech, Steve looked pointedly at Tony. That was his bread and butter all day long. "We have a number of scientists and tech mavens in this city that I know would align with this cause. Red Robin and Oracle are working hard. Tony, could you put Stark resources on it too?" He looked to Bruce now, adding, "I wouldn't overlook the Wakandan embassy, by the way. Shuri isn't an Avenger, but she's been a loyal ally for a long time. They have tech in Wakanda that even surpasses what I've seen with Tony and Reed. It might be worth connecting the group of you to see if she can help."

Looking out to the assembled group, he finished with, "We want to eradicate this threat, but I again agree with Batman. We don't want to do it the way they expect us to. If we attack them head on like some of you suggest, we'll lose. It's a long game, and it's a hard one, but we saw what happened when Pete--Spider-Man attacked one of the NOVA agents. I don't believe that was his fault, but it escalated things." Steve's eyes found Bucky's again. "We don't know how it happened, or if NOVA was involved, but it's exactly the kind of thing Batman's talking about. A lot of you know that I've been on the side of punch first, questions later. I'll fully admit that. But it's not the answer here. We don't know what they have or what we're up against. We need your support in the long game. And we're asking for your trust in a lot of ways. I asked all of the Avengers personally to be here. You all agreed, so you must trust me, and I trust Batman and the Justice League. Trust like that, trust that we are all working towards the same goal, is gonna be imperative."

“If we’re getting insider information, the kind that can turn the public tide against NOVA, then we need to use it.” Clark didn’t ask for specifics. If Bruce or Steve had put someone inside NOVA, he had to trust that whatever information they produced would be legitimate. “We all saw at the riots that there’s still public support for NOVA, and more of it than any of us probably feel comfortable with. If we’re fighting a war, then we’re looking at more than one front, and the people are one of them. If we have something to erode their support, it needs to be disseminated, and we have contacts who can do it.” Him, namely, but he didn’t say so. He looked from his son beside him back up to Bruce at the head of the table. “Take it to Lois. We’ll be fighting twice as hard if there are still people convinced that NOVA are the good guys here.” The air of impatience around the table was palpable from some of the other people. He understood. In a way, he was with them. The long game that Bruce played and that they all had to play right then was frustrating, but their problem would be infinitely worse if they acted too soon and too rashly. “We have a lot of different strengths here, that I can see, and if this is going to work then we’ll play to all of them. But not at the same time.”

HAWKEYE: Clint was not built for meetings. There were way too many people in one room, all of whom had something to say. Clint, on the other hand, had nothing to say. He was a circus performer and a thief. This good guy shit and should they shouldn't they and rules nonsense was grating and more and more he was starting to feel closed in, like he didn't belong there, and that getting out was the best idea he ever had. If it hadn't been for Natasha's fingers tangled with his he would've been gone already, but she wanted him here and making her happy made him feel like less of a failure, so he wasn't going to run out. That didn't mean he had to keep listening though. Growing up a criminal circus meant Clint's legerdemain skills were very nearly flawless, and it wasn't too difficult for him to slip off one hearing aid while he was replacing the arrow he'd been playing with back in his quiver, and the other when he reached up to scratch at the closely shaved hair of his undercut. With both his aids out he couldn't hear anything, blissful silence wrapping around the archer. If, for some reason, someone was paying attention to him specifically there was a chance they'd catch the sleight of hand trick, but most of the table was looking at the caped brunet with the really nice chiseled jawline at the head of the table who was currently talking. There was a pretty damn good chance Natasha would notice since she was sitting right next to him, but he'd done his best to pick a moment when her attention was diverted. Reaching into a pocket of his uniform Clint let the aids drop from his palm as he pulled out a Peanut Butter & Chocolate Chip protein bar, unwrapped it with his teeth and one hand and then proceeded to take a bite.

FALCON: It was unfortunate that Sam didn't have much, if any, information to pass on to the rest of the team, but he was willing to help out wherever he was needed. This was a group effort if they were going to take this force down - it wasn't going to be easy, not by a long shot, but he trusted Steve. He'd followed him before, he'll do it again, even if they didn't necessarily have a concrete plan moving forward. Whoever their insider was, something needed to happen before things got worse. While Superman spoke (seriously, Superman), Sam took note of movement down his right. He shot Clint a look when he noticed he had a granola bar of some sort between his teeth. He had to press his lips together to keep from smiling too wide, but kept his attention on Superman instead, in the hopes that he could just ignore whatever it was that Clint was doing. Now really wasn't the time.

BLACK WIDOW: Natasha should have known that bringing Clint to this meeting was a mistake. But she had thought that he would want to be there because this was who they were. This was their family and even if Clint didn't remember that, he had expressed a desire to be with her for things. When she had come home from Moscow, he had seemed upset that she hadn't brought him. She knew he didn't know what was going on, but when they talked with Rachel, he was going to remember and, going forward, he was going to need this information. At least... she had thought so. And then she saw him take his hearing aids out. And just tune it all out like helping people didn't matter to him. Like trying to hear what was going on and understand or file questions away to ask her later wasn't important to him. Her stomach tightened and Natasha slipped her hand from his. Most people knew her to have a very level expression, but when her hand shot out to catch his face so he could see her clearly, the first look was just utterly devastated disappointment, and the second slipped that away like a mask went on and her eyes were cold as Siberia. Letting go of his face when she was sure he was looking at her, Natasha signed quickly. <<Go home, Clint. Just go. No point in being in a chair here if you don't care and if you don't want to be here. Go home and I'll be back after.>>

HAWKEYE: Clint was aware that slipping his aids and grabbing a snack wasn't exactly professional behaviour, but he'd at least been quiet about it, and now that he had put his arrow away and had nothing to fiddle with it was better to keep something in his hands, or he was going to start poking at the tablets in front of them and get really distracted in a way that would likely be more disruptive than his snack. There was a voice in the back of his mind suggesting he could try following along to what was being said and try to piece together the bigger picture, but that wasn't what he did. He might have been forty-eight physically, but without his memories and life experiences of the last twenty-five years he was basically a twenty-three year old carnie thief playing dress up. He was doing his best, for Natasha's sake, but, like most other things in life, he was pretty sure he was failing. The moment Natasha's hand slipped from his Clint already knew he fucked up. That knowledge was confirmed when his face was grabbed and turned in her direction and he saw her face. Aw, disappointment, no. Disappointment was even worse than if she'd gotten pissed at him. Disappointment took him straight back to being a kid hiding from a father's disappointment because it came along with a belt and fists. The rotten feeling settled in his stomach, Clint's lips turned down in a frown. Blue eyes watched her sign, and for a moment he considered insisting on staying, that he could give it another try and do it better. But this wasn't like mastering a new trick shot. He couldn't just do it over and over again until it was flawless. He didn't sign back, at least recognising that now was not the time to get into a discussion. Instead he just, as unobtrusively as possible, stood up, slipped between the chairs, and then was gone and out the door.

IRON MAN: Tony brushed off Steve’s words as if his presence were inconsequential and expected, even though he knew it was just the opposite. “I wanted to see Supes and the Big Scary Bat in person. Not to mention an actual goddess with a lasso.” He arched an eyebrow and nodded in the direction of the three. “Have to say I thought they’d be taller.” Steve’s offer to talk later was met with a dismissive nod and he rolled back and forth in his chair, his foot balanced on one of the table legs. The years he spent with the Avengers made him a better listener. Maybe it made him a better team player too, unless the idea was a bad one or could use some work, and he was quick to agree to Steve’s request for tech. Unlike the others, he didn’t know much about NOVA aside from what he’d seen at the riots. He was too distracted by other things that were going on. Pepper’s injury and Peter’s complete snap from reality took most of his attention these days. One of the main reasons he was here was because he hoped someone would have some damn insight on what happened at the protest. He watched some cell phone video a kid shot over and over again, but there was nothing he could pinpoint that should have set Pete off. Not that he could figure out, anyway, and it put him on edge.

It was news to him that the X-Men would want anything to do with whatever game plan they agreed on. Tony snorted softly. “So, you don’t have the X-Men fully on board yet. What happens if they start to see logic in Magneto’s ideas? Do you intend to trust them with all of this information if they aren’t technically working with us, if there even exists the possibility that they might do something not so Justice Avenging Leagueish with it?” He frowned, rubbing his mouth thoughtfully. “And if we’re going to send Stinger in and risk her safety inside an institute that has the power to eliminate her power, what then? What’s the contingency plan? What if she pops inside an air duct at the exact moment they’re testing their new inhibitor? Do we have an inhibitor for an inhibitor? Something to disrupt the frequencies? Can I get my hands on one of these things? I understand you just have one, but I’d like a good look at it.” Clint’s subtly went unnoticed by him at first, he was too caught up in the various possibilities and pitfalls of action, but when he realized, belatedly, what just happened, he couldn’t hold back a laugh. “Someone’s in the doghouse."

ZATANNA: Good lord, there were a lot of children here. She was used to that with Bruce, he seemed to have an affinity for finding damaged orphans and giving them the ability to punch their problems away. You'd think therapy would be cheaper, but hey, everyone did things differently. "You don't have to infiltrate to get more information on them. If you want a look at what they're doing and what they've got, I can do that, easy. I just need a mirror and ... don't worry about the rest, I'll deal with it." Handing Seymour, her sweet baby bunny, to Babs so she could sit up (she was a hand talker), she leaned forward on the table. "In terms of a plan, since brute force isn't an option, and I have to agree, even though setting everything on fire is very tempting, I think we need to separate this group into smaller groups. There's no way we're going to get shit done when 30 people have to sign off on it. Make an information team, a tech team, one who looks for human error, which is my specialty, and a team of people who don't have powers who can take over if any of us get inhibited. If everyone has a smaller goal, each piece comes together and forms a structure that holds the overall plan together. Like a spell." Leaning back, she grinned at Babs. "See, I can be helpful. Just cuz I'm an asshole doesn't mean I'm worthless." She spread her hands to show Bruce that she was trying and playing well with others. She also sent Loki a mental message that said "wanna play a game while the mortals argue over tech?"

STINGER: Cassie went from grinning under her helmet at Batman's approval, to heaving a sigh when Tony spoke and said her name. She doesn't even bother speaking at the moment, simply rolling her eyes dramatic enough to be seen with her helmet on, and drumming the tabletop with her fingers, suddenly remembering the stubbornness of the older Avengers. 

ORACLE: Barbara lets herself observe the mishmash of people, and can't help but wonder what they were in for. She lets out a soft 'oh' as the rabbit was placed in her lap, but she accepts, head tilting as she listened to her friend speak. Her face slides into an approving smirk. She chuckles just a little, "Sure Z, now be open to criticism, hmm?" she turns back to everyone after (gently) handing seymour back, "she's not wrong that smaller components will be easier. And Superman is right, we need to shift at least what some people think. If we have information that can do that, we should as soon as possible. It doesn't matter how much prep we do before we attack if no one likes us once we're done. Also, cutting public support means strangling their wallets." She turns to Tony Stark, eyes narrowing slightly, thoroughly unimpressed with his display so far, but ultimately she knows she has to work with him, "There are ways to disrupt the inhibitor, Magneto used a big ass EMP. Theoretically, we could replicate that. That also runs the risk of frying a lot of information we could use against them, so it's a work in progress," she finishes, giving him a nod, certainly not about to deny the help.

IRON MAN: Tony raised his eyebrows in response to Barbara. "There are ways to disrupt the X-Gene inhibitor, but no one has gotten their hands on this new, supposedly updated power inhibitor, isn't that right? Therefore, we don't know if it operates like its predecessor. NOVA strikes me as an agency that learns from its mistakes." He let his foot fall to the floor and sat up straighter in his chair. "Magneto used the EMP with the intention of destroying the facility. He was not hiding. We're talking about a reconnaissance mission, quite different, and an EMP attack wound announce our presence loud and clear. Any device Stinger manages to plant would be undoubtedly discovered - or, at the very least, they would know we compromised their security and we lose any chance of securing valuable intel. Or, as you rightly said, our own technology is damaged and rendered useless. Worst case scenario, they catch her." He paused. "And all that is if an EMP would even be effective against this.... new inhibitor, for lack of a better term. Inhibitor 2.0?" Shrugging, he took a drink of his coffee. "I don't know about you, but I don't risk lives over ifs. Before we send anyone in, we need to know exactly how it works - and if it works similarly to the X-Gene inhibitor, an EMP is not the solution. We can't just kill their technology and expect them not to notice. No, we need to block Stinger - and there's a very simple way we can accomplish that and protect our own equipment, without tipping off the Nazis. They'd never even know we were there. I'm talking about our own version of a faraday cage. A very tiny one."

WICCAN: “You can’t completely keep the X-Men in the dark,” Billy insisted at the mere implication. There were a dozen other things to respond to, but if he was going to advocate for something, he felt like that had to be the thing. The potential fallout of not doing it was too great, and the last thing they needed was the biggest gathering of mutants to somehow be against them right from the beginning. At least Bruce and Steve didn’t seem to be in line with Tony’s thinking, and he was a little bothered (but not surprised) by his mother leaning that way, too. Magneto’s involvement complicated everything, as always. That was all the more reason not to give him more ammunition. He raked his hand back through his hair. “What uh...what’s a faraday cage?” Should he know that? In a lot of ways, Billy was one of most powerful people in that room, but he was reminded constantly what his shortcomings were.

LOKI: Loki listened to the back and forth and felt himself beginning to fade in a lot of ways. He had said his piece, they had rejected it, and so he was content to just do what he had been doing. Though he had to laugh as several people brought up infiltration like it was some new concept he hadn’t implemented from his own creativity before he was ever officially an Avenger. “Infiltration. How novel. What an idea.” He smirked before sitting back. “But if you already have an inside man, I’m sure they’re simply waiting for the right time—and the perfect information—to accomplish what Lord Bulging Biceps—“ Loki gestured to Superman “—is saying we should do. Could you not charge said inside man with retrieving one of these precious inhibitors? Before blowing open the entire operation with the right words in the right ears?”

He was offering himself for more risk. He knew that. But he had just been promoted. And he was going to get those papers signed. He and Jihl Nabel were friendly—as friendly as one could be with a horrible creature of untold evil (he both respected her as a villain and was completely astounded by her)—and he was part of their science and development team already. “Since the typically Metal-suited imbecile seems so concerned with the girl’s safety, why divert more effort to adding an additional person, who might not understand the layout and the internal politics of the organization and would just be blindly looking around, and not simply use what you have?” He shook his head, pushing to his feet. Abruptly he teleported behind the girl in the helmet—that was her name, wasn’t it—and made a show of peering closer. “You’re quite thin, you know? Very little. How are you with hand to hand combat if you do get caught, like Stark says? You won’t have your powers, so all you’d have would be your natural Midgardian fortitude.” Even without his magic, Loki had trained with the his mother, the Valkyrie, and the Asgardian army for over a thousand years, his Jotun physiology and natural state outranked any Midgardian’s in stature, durability, and strength. They relied on powers, as did he, but he wouldn’t be much of a trickster if he only had one trick.

It seemed to him that the conversation was becoming a bit circular, and Loki was an expert tactician but only when he did have an equal seat at the table. He was under no illusions about that now. Well, he was always under illusions, but those were literal. Most of them didn’t trust him. And maybe they still wouldn’t even when it was revealed that he’d been a plant the entire time he’d been on Midgard, and he understood that Thanos had taken any and all credibility that he hadn’t lost for himself. So he had said his second piece and teleported back to his chair. Green eyes meet the Good Captain’s. “You didn’t ask me here personally, but I am at your disposal. I do hope you don’t waste me, but point me as you will.” He looked to Zatanna, an expression of amusement on his face. His fingers moved through the air subtly before the pen next to the redhead now playing with the rabbit turned into a large carrot. He smirked before replying mentally: What did you have in mind?

STINGER: The young blonde went from a facepalm to indignant when Tony and Oracle were going back and forth. She'd expected some protectiveness, but she figured they might get through maybe half a meeting before it started. It was Loki appearing behind her that made her stand, clenching her fist at her side and staring him down without any hesitation, but she lets him finish.  She didn't sit again even when Loki did, and her eyes turned, positively glaring at Tony "I wouldn't volunteer to go if I wasn't sure I could handle it. I've been one of the ones in the streets fighting the creeps, and you haven't seen what I can do yet," her eyes deliberately shift to Bruce now as she retakes her seat. The hand that's hidden under the table next to Billy is clenched, and if she didn't have her gloves on, her nails may have down a number on her palms. She echoes what Bruce said before, "we'll discuss later, including safeguards for crappy outcomes." she grows quiet again, silently fuming, but knowing any extreme outburst would just be taken as an excuse to further infantilize her. One thing she hadn't missed? The tightrope walk that young heroes always had to face while on a larger team.

IRON MAN: Tony stared at Loki with vague annoyance. “If that inside man were at all proficient, we would have it by now. I’m not sitting with my thumb in my ass waiting on him to drop it by at his convenience.” It was clear to him who the inside man was and he could think of no one more ill-suited than Loki, who was proving himself useless so far. “Coming from someone who can offer nothing productive to the conversation or offer their own solution, personal insults are the next best option.” He clicked his tongue. “Predictable, Poki. I’m disappointed in you. If you were paying any attention, you would realize your “concern” is misplaced and invalid. But I suppose I can’t fault you entirely - how old are you now? Oh, you don’t have to answer that. None of my business. I was just wondering if gods also decline with age. If so... well, I've been awfully insensitive. Please, someone pull up Wikipedia here for our friend so he can keep up with the conversation. And toss in a dictionary. Most of the words aren’t monosyllabic.” Tony winked at Loki, smirking. “That should keep you more occupied than a virgin in a strip club.” His expression softened when he looked at Cassie and he leaned across the table, his voice lowering and becoming uncharacteristically serious. “I know you can handle it, kid. I know exactly what you can handle. What I’m trying to do is give you the tools to get in there and get out undetected. No one in this room has the ability to evade a power inhibitor, aside from those of us without any power to start with. I’m not saying you shouldn’t go or that I don’t trust you to go, but I want all of the information first. I’d want that for anyone in this room."

Sitting back, he spread his hands and looked around the table. “Can we return to viable solutions? That seems to be what we’re interested in. Does anyone have access to the materials I’ll need to construct a faraday cage? Or… well, it should really be a pouch. That would be far more maneuverable.” At that point he recalled Billy’s question and shifted his gaze to him. “A faraday cage blocks electromagnetic fields, radiation and frequencies. It acts as a filter against those wavelengths and shields the interior of the cage. It also protects against EMPs. Whether or not this will be effective depends on this new power inhibitor, but it requires specific materials to construct. I don’t have them on hand, unfortunately. I can get them, but if anyone has them at the ready I’ll gladly take them off your hands. I’ll need… let’s see…” He tapped two fingers against his chin. “Shielding Fleece, make sure it’s HF+LF - oh, forget it. I’ll take care of the materials. The whole pouch thing more complicated, but better suited for this scenario."

FLASH: Barry listened intently to the arguments and pieces everyone had to say. When the conversation circled back to him, he opened his mouth – but closed it when the doors of the meeting room opened and someone else joined them. 

ROBIN: "Sorry, Flash, but this is important." Damian Wayne barged into the meeting area with a slight pant to his breath, collapsing his bo staff and stashing it on his utility belt. He been preoccupied with a little criminal apprehension that Bruce had sent him on – but it had taken him a little longer than expected when something interesting came up. Sure, Damian had radioed in to his father to let him know he was running late but he hadn't explained why. So the teen swept through the room, light dancing off his red and green kevlar. It was a moment before he finally lowered his hood. “I know I'm late, Batman.” He reported. “I thought this would be better to show everyone in person though.” He said bluntly before setting a small black camera onto the table in front of him. “I was in the process of dealing with Kite-Man like you asked when he mentioned having made cameras that got near the NOVA HQ. I took a moment to look and this...” He explained and gestured to the device he had brought in, “was captured by one of his cameras. It had an odd placement and when I found it – a very odd energy signature emanating from it.” Damian stated before finally eyeing the large gathering of mostly strangers he did not recognize. "Whatever it is, it isn't normal. You don't stash security cameras in awkward crevices where they can't really see people." He frowned and folded his arms before moving to take an actual seat at the first empty seat he could find - an empty seat; one so 'graciously' emptied by his Father's insistence on standing broodily. It was different, being a part of the 'Big Leagues' meetings instead of the younger teams for once. Damian wasn't sure whether or not he liked it - the amount of attention on the one speaking was intense.

HUMAN TORCH: “Smaller teams. That’s something. Not everybody is suited for every job, but at least the rest of us would know where we might come into place. It’s not like thirty people can be barging onto the scene to infiltrate and spy. If we’re just waiting our turn, at least we’d know who we were waiting with.” He returned the squeeze to Peter’s hand, trying to quell his own temper, because he was a hair away from snapping like Cassie had. The device suddenly laid on the table was a distraction, at least. Johnny could offer one thing about it immediately. “It’s producing heat. Like,” he leaned forward far enough to reach for the camera but didn’t actually touch it with his hand. He didn’t need to. “A lot of it, really fast, really contained.”

ZATANNA: "Look, I get that half of you are tech gods, but I don't really think the details of that are helpful right now. " Which wasn't just because Z had no idea what Tony was talking about. "You and Babs are now the heads of the tech team. You guys pick your squad like in gym class and go fight it out together about whose circuit board is bigger." She assumed large circuit boards were better but honestly had no clue. "And Loki is right, infiltration will be the most dangerous part. Sending in anyone who isn't absolutely prepared is stupid. I get that you're all young and invulnerable to the dangers of the world, but this shit is real. I've lost my magic before. You don't know what it's like to not have your power, it's like suddenly losing a limb. Either you train while inhibited and prove yourself, or the grownups get to keep you at home. It's not about who's smartest or has the shiniest suit, it's about who won't die if they only have a knife and their brain to work with. Bruce has to be in charge of infiltration and whatever he says, that's what we do." Z nodded at Bruce because, duh. Just as Barry was about to speak, probably too fast and technical for Z to understand, Damian almost literally popped in. He was babbling about a camera, which Johnny Storm (Z always remembered cute guys, especially ones who burst into flames) said was emanating heat. "Jesus, if it's hot, who knows what else it's putting out. Tcetorp sdleifecrof!" A glowing bubble went up around the thing. "That thing could have tracking stuff or be nuclear or have a fucking spell on it and you brought it here?" Staring at Damian like he was the dumbest person she'd ever seen on this planet of Earth, she slowly swivelled her chair to look at Bruce. "I didn't realize it was bring your kid to work day." She turned the computer mouse into a Damian doll and sent it flying through the air to Loki. "Anyone else wanna risk total exposure of our super secret attempts to overthrow an authoritarian regime? No?"

WONDER WOMAN: The atmosphere in the meeting room felt tense. Diana sat still, quiet, as she soaked in everyone's opinions on the matter at hand. While she had no intel to share, she did know where she was best suited and where her strengths laid. While she did remain silent for much of the conversation, looks and body language did not go amiss. She watched everyone closely; whatever it was that Bruce and Stinger had to discuss later on, she trusted them to know what they were talking about. She was a soldier, a warrior, through and through. A diplomat, first and foremost, but a spy? An infiltrator? She would leave that to Bruce. She trusted him enough for that. "Agreed," she nodded to Zatanna before glancing to her right at Bruce, "You are better suited in that department than most of us here. If you trust this inside man to deliver us results, then I will stand by it. But we need more information sooner than later; there will be worse to come than just riots. These people are worried, scared for their lives, and many still have not been able to recover from that destruction." Diana narrowed her eyes at the now contained device floating in the middle of the meeting room. "Why would a camera like that need to be hidden in such a way? Do you think it was there deliberately?" She asked, gaze now on Damian.

BATGIRL: Everyone around her might as well have been speaking a foreign language. She leaned in to get a better look at Damian’s camera he seemed so proud of, but it looked like a regular old camera to her. As much as she used to admire Zatanna, the tone she took with Damian made Steph bristle protectively. “Sure, training under Batman must mean he’s stupid enough not to check for tracking devices. Give him more credit than that. All you’ve done is order people around and feed a rabbit in your hat.” Steph sat with her arms crossed, frowning, and squirmed uncomfortably as she grew more and more aware of just how little she had to offer in the way of teams. Punch first and ask questions later was what she did. It was her thing. Pretty much her only thing. She started out at a disadvantage, but years of training made her hand to hand combat impressive (if she could say so herself), and now she couldn’t even use it? Sounded like some bullshit. Yeah, she got it, but it sucked to feel like a useless lump when she was supposed to be Batgirl. “So a tech team, a… spy/sleuthy team, a computer digital hackery team - or does that fall in the same category as tech? Actually that’d be more up your alley, Babs. Maybe you should head that up." Drumming her fingers on the table, she looked up at Bruce. "And during all this patrol is continuing as always, so we’d need a team for that, right? Can’t forget to watch the street while you guys go running around in faraway bags.”

SCARLET WITCH: Wanda watched the people around her as they reacted before feeling herself beginning to get frustrated at the antics. Shaking her head, she sat up, her dark eyes flashing. "I think the irreverence--" She glanced to Loki, Zatanna, and Tony, who she admired for their bluntness but felt herself getting irritated with in this large setting, "--isn't getting us anywhere, for one. I think it's safe to assume that Steve and Bruce won't be underusing anyone. If they didn't have a need for each of us, they wouldn't have requested our presence." Her expression softened as she looked at Johnny and Peter, Steph, and those who were simply trying to determine their place. "Steph is right. While we are making large moves in subtle ways, there are still atrocities going on every day. And there's danger all over the city. Those with more martial skill can certainly keep people protected on patrols and it's not a lesser job. It's just as important." Her gaze turned to her son now. "I don't think we're going to exclude them, bubbi," she told him, her love name for him slipping out without her realizing it. "None of us want that. Tony's saying that if we don't know what they believe and where they stand, that it's dangerous to expect them to react in any way. He's not wrong, but no one is going to keep them in the dark." And if they were, Wanda wouldn't be comfortable with it. Her attention turned outward. "I know Magneto is a risk. He always is." He always had to make everything more complicated with his black and white inability to realize that he didn't deserve to play god just because it was the fastest way to help or get his point across. "But I think that Bruce and Steve's decision to speak to Scott solidifies that the X-Men will be involved, and we can trust that information will be disseminated to them and exchanged between us."

She hoped that put that concern to rest, because they could keep dwelling on the same three points, but they would be here all night. Clint had already demonstrated that that wasn't going to work for some people. She glanced to Tony, "For your cage, perhaps you can talk to Shuri. I certainly don't think that we have anything like shielding fleece in our attic." She gave him a wry grin. Then Damian was barging in and there was a strange device and she swallowed before looking to Steve and Bruce. "Do you two think it's safe to say we've covered what we need to for the general group? As several people have pointed out, this isn't their expertise. I assume this object needs to be studied. I don't want to adjourn your meeting for you, but I think that, with this new discovery, we might do well to start to close it up?" Her expression to Bruce was gentle, supportive. She hoped he didn't see her question as disinterest or otherwise something to say that the meeting wasn't important anymore, but she wanted people to be able to crack into this new focal point and she trusted that new information would be shared by Bruce and Steve as they obtained it.

BOOSTER GOLD: "I'm down with keeping up patrol. I've got NOVA's patrol sched down tight for the north side of the city, so if anyone wants that, let me know. I can have my bro Skeets send it via email; he's got built in Wi-Fi and it's like, crazy fast." Even though he was a little disappointed that he couldn't offer much else, Michael was glad that things were happening. Finally. It felt good to be part of a team again, even if he was reduced to patrol. Still, he could fly, so it made sense he stick with that. Skeets might be a little smarter in the technology department, especially that of the twenty-first century, but Michael wasn't going to pretend to know anything about what they all were talking about. "But if you guys need me anywhere else, I'm cool with that, too. Just say the word, I'm there." He threw up a gesture, thumb and pinky outstretched and he shot a quick grin before he settled back into his seat with elbows on the table.(edited)

BUCKY: The whole display with Clint and the expression on Natasha’s face had him briefly distracted from all the rest. He was there for Steve, first and foremost, and to help where he could, but his attention was quickly pulled in other directions. Wordlessly, he reached with his right hand beneath the table and laid it against her knee, neither looking at her or acknowledging what had happened. A fucking protein bar. Really? He was sincerely, deeply trying to be sympathetic to what was not an unfamiliar situation to him, but it only went so far. For better or for worse, Loki and Tony’s back and forth quickly had everyone looking elsewhere, and the revelation of NOVA’s device brought something else yet again. “I can help with patrol, but we’ve got a crew on this side,” he gestured at himself and nodded vaguely toward Natasha, “with a few decades of espionage and intelligence, for what it’s worth. I’ll be a little more inconspicuous than it looks right now.” Shuri’s upgrade to provide temporary camouflage for the cybernetic arm would see to that. “But I’ve never seen anything like that,” he gestured toward the camera on the table.”

SUPERGIRL: Even though Kara was only listening, she watched everyone at the table. She paid close attention. Some seemed to have good ideas, but others were bent on complaining on the lack of ideas - a frustration she could understand, but also found hypocritical and counterproductive. She wasn't a new member of the Justice League. She saw firsthand how difficult it was to lead people who didn't really want to be told what to do, or thought they knew best, but then did nothing but complain. The name-calling and demeaning behavior was upsetting and unnecessary. Wanda's kindness was a breath of fresh air. Kara smiled at her, hands clasped underneath the desk, but then she turned her attention to Bucky. "I can help with the espionage. Robin said the cameras are hidden in strange spaces no one would normally look...  not easily found, and unless NOVA has found a way to make their walls impenetrable to me, I'll be able to see through them." It was certainly a different sort of espionage, but having X-Ray vision came in handy when you were trying to find people - or things. "And I can see the electromagnetic spectrum. Thermal imaging will help me find the cameras, or even the location of the inhibitors." She paused. "But if the new ones also depower Kryptonians... I don't know, but it is worth a try. Perhaps the range is small and I won't have to get close enough for it to affect me."

SPIDERMAN: While Peter understood why he was being benched, he didn’t have to like it, not when he could be doing some good that the city desperately needed; regardless of how its people currently felt about him. Though as tempting as it was to do more than just remote work (if they would even allow him that), it would be stupid to go against Steve's and Bruce’s call, especially since they still didn’t know what was wrong with him. Of course, that wasn’t going to stop him from opening his mouth and offering himself anyway — “I’ve worked my way around a few security systems before; if Oracle needs a hand with that, I can always help out remotely... If that’s an option?” Knowing how overprotective some of them were, his offer would likely be shot down, but he had to try anyway, right? If he was going to be stuck behind four walls, at least stick him in front of a computer.

SUPERBOY: Despite the fact that he didn't have a lot of experience with being an adult, he was a hero before he left Earth. He could be a kid, but he was still good at it, so when they talked about doing patrols, he without thinking twice, offered himself to help, "I would love to help with patrolling. I do that a lot already, so it would be nothing new to me," every day, he went out and flew around the city, looking for someone that he could help. He wished there was more that he could do to help, but unfortunately, that was the only thing that he could do. It was already something he supposed, and better than nothing.

STINGER: Though it was hidden behind her helmet, Cassie's face softened as Tony spoke. She'd talk to him later certainly, but for now, she wasn't exactly raring to drag too much more attention to her. And, truly, had her attention not been completely engrossed by whatever it is Robin had just brought in, she would have rounded on the cranky magician lady, but as it was, Stinger didn't really think about it as she stood, shrunk, and let her wings carry her over to the device on the table. She tried to see things from her small angle, even behind the forcefield. She looks up at Johnny, "Hot enough to where it would hurt me if I could get in?" she crouches on the table, no more than a few inches tall, trying to get a look, "once we make sure that it's not recording us at all, and once we make sure that hotness isn't like.... energy getting ready to explode, I'd love to take a look. Nice find. But, uh--" she turns back to Zatanna, "this forcefield would potentially protect against an explosion, right?" and, as she's talking, takes flight in her tiny form and moves ever so slightly further away.

BATMAN: Bruce stood silently as Steve spoke. Before the meeting they had time to outline what it would be about, but it was impossible to anticipate the response they would receive. Regardless, Bruce was well versed in the abilities of everyone present, even the Avengers he never met. What gave them leverage in this partnership was the variety of strengths and expertise they had at their disposal. The only thing standing in the way was ego - and there was far too much of it in the first ten minutes. He didn’t fault the group for not seeing the value in a long game. They waited long enough for a plan of action and now they were being told they would have to wait even longer. Unfortunately, there was no way around it. It was just not that simple. Handing out tasks was something he discussed with Steve before the start of the meeting. Separating everyone into specific groups that played to their strengths was the best strategy. It certainly had a far higher chance of success than a full frontal attack, which was what some were oddly fixated on. “You might find temporary satisfaction in action, lethal or otherwise, but if that were the solution then NOVA would have been destroyed a long time ago. Captain America and I both recognize the value of infiltration, from various angles, and we simply do not have the time - or the ability - without you. You are here because we need your help, but it is your choice whether or not to go forward.”

Public perception was a tactic Bruce was well acquainted with after years of being in the spotlight and using the media to distort his image. He inclined his head in Clark’s direction, indicating his agreement. “The Gazette’s expose on the detention centers was the first real step in that direction. The public is largely influenced by what NOVA wants them to see. But there is more than one way. In this day and age, public shaming has incredible influence. Secret recordings that discredit an agency would go viral. It can be just as effective as journalism. Those of you on patrol will also be in charge of that - but be careful.The expose was successful because it did not distort or exaggerate the facts. Out messages can have the same impact on our peers as both Miss Lane and Mr Kent have with the media.” Clint’s strange behavior and subsequent exit earned a brief glance in Steve’s direction. Bruce said nothing, but they would be discussing it later. Long ago, he made a point of trusting Steve to decide who should and shouldn’t join the Avengers. This was the first time Bruce actually questioned his judgment. Even though personalities like Tony’s were abrasive and obnoxious, Bruce still recognized the point he was making and it was one he agreed with. “No one will be going into any facility until we are prepared. That includes having contingency plans in place.”

Zatanna and Tony’s back and forth made him consider if they should have employed a raise your hand if you have something to say protocol. While he’d hoped everyone would act like reasonable adults, he was especially disappointed in Zatanna because of their history. Their shared past was a close one and he gave her a look that, while on the outside appeared stern, was also a silent request for respect - if not for the group, then the integrity of the meeting. She was better than this. “That is exactly it, but you will not be making the decision of who is on what team, Zatanna.” Despite his frustration, he couldn’t help but be a little amused. As Barbara and Tony argued over the technology, he focused on Billy’s concerns for the X-Men. “Rest assured, Cyclops will be kept well-informed.” Trust didn’t come easily to Bruce and he didn’t fully trust many people, but that was something separate. He did trust certain people for certain tasks, and he knew Scott would not sabotage their efforts or use the information in a way that would hurt the team. They were all on the same side. With any luck, he could encourage them to help.

Not that he was looking forward to adding more strong personalities to the already contentious group. Loki and Tony’s back and forth was giving him a headache and Damian’s interruption was a welcome respite from the bickering. While he’d been in communication with him through an earpiece, Bruce had been given no explanation as to why Damian was late or what had happened. Troubled, he listened to his explanation with a frown. “Where was this building, Robin?” While he appreciated Zatanna’s support, he held up a hand in response to her surprisingly abrasive words, then shook his head gently at Cassie’s suggestion and turned the camera over in his hand. “There is no need. The heat is intense, as you said -“ He nodded at Johnny’s assessment. “But it is residual. It is slowing down. Cooling.” Producing a small tool from his belt, he opened it back up and saw that Damian already disabled its tracking device. Just as he taught him. It wouldn’t have mattered. The room was protected from being tracked just like the Batcave, but he kept that information to himself. “I assume you scanned it for explosives.” Not that he felt he needed to ask. Damian was well-trained, or Bruce never would have trusted him to be out on his own. Still, he retrieved his personal scanner (equipped with various systems, including computed tomography) to do another deep scan. “Hm. No trace of explosives. We need to do more research to know for certain what is producing the heat.”

Prior to the start of the meeting, Steve and Bruce both agreed who would be best suited to what task. It was a difficult endeavor, but there were solid reasons behind their choices and it wasn’t up to debate. “We are all infiltrating. The difference is the approach. Oracle, Red Robin, Human Torch, and Spiderman, you will coordinate a digital attack on NOVA’s systems and gain access to their files. The firewalls are nothing like I’ve ever seen before.” In any other situation he would not have placed Johnny in that category, because he had other, valuable strengths, but someone would have to keep an eye on Peter after what happened at the riots. He was the best option. Bruce reluctantly handed the camera to Tony. “Iron Man and Black Panther will focus on deconstructing NOVA’s technology. A device or a suit that will shield the wearer from inhibitors, while avoiding detection, would be invaluable to future missions. Our first order of business is to retrieve the new power inhibitor so we can find out how it works. Bucky, Supergirl, Stinger, Flash, Invisible Woman, and Black Widow will do reconnaissance on NOVA’s labs and various locations and formute a plan of entry. The new inhibitor will likely be guarded. Falcon, Loki, Booster, Batgirl, Wonder Woman, Superman, Superboy, and Robin - you will be on the ground. Remember that part of your job is to discredit NOVA whenever you have the chance.

Record unnecessary force and hand it over to Oracle to distribute. It can’t be traced back to you. Be a powerful presence and be inspiring. There is a reason you are the group most visible to the public.” Of course, Clark would be doing much more with the Gazette, but Bruce was not going to divulge that. “Scarlet Witch, Wiccan, Zatanna, and Nightwing, your job is to locate all of NOVA’s hidden facilities so the reconnaissance team can get to work. Once you’ve done that, you will focus on the facilities that are detaining mutants. We already know there are more. After you assist the reconnaissance team you will go to District X and consult with Cyclops on how to proceed. I have no doubt he will be involved, or already has a plan in place. Offer your assistance." His expression and tone turned somber. "Scarlet Witch and Nightwing can prepare you for when the inhibitors get in your way. We face a real threat of mutants, metahumans, and aliens being stripped of their powers. Everyone needs to understand this and be prepared. Those of you who need to fine tune your hand to hand combat, Scarlet Witch and Nightwing are who to see.” They worked well with each other - and in this situation, that was vital. “I understand many of you are skilled in this area, but consider how much of that skill is reliant on strength and superhuman ability. Ask for help if you need it, or your pride will get someone killed.”

CAPTAIN AMERICA: Steve was watching his meeting, their meeting, start to fall apart. He knew how Tony was, he had anticipated how Loki was, but he didn't know Zatanna well. He didn't actually think she was trying to instigate, but he did think that it might come off that way. But there was nothing to be done about it now. What was said was said. Still... he had been waiting for this for such a long time. More than anything, Steve Rogers had wanted this meeting and he had seen all the potential it could hold. It was why he had barely let Bruce get the offer to work together and reform out of his mouth before he was agreeing. They were going to be amazing. All of them. He just needed them all to understand what they were doing had reason and rhyme for all of them. They were all essential. It was watching Clint of all people embarrass the Avengers, and embarrass Natasha that had Steve crestfallen. His expression reflected the redheaded assassin's utter disappointment as he watched Clint leave, knowing how that looked. He knew there were extenuating circumstances, but he also knew he was going to have to advocate for Clint and for the validity of his presence to Bruce now when Steve knew he was a good man and a great Avenger. He let out a slow breath, but didn't let his shoulders sag, even if he wanted to, but that expression of disappointment began to etch deeper as Tony was who he was and Loki was who he was, and Cassie seemed to get up in arms when no one was discrediting her. There were some who were focused and productive and wanted to be there. Steve could see them, but it was hard not to feel like the gaps between their teams were going to struggle to be bridged into a cohesive unit if they were picking at one another, protesting precautions and getting snippy about what they should be allowed to do, snapping at one another about nothing.

"Come on, guys," he finally said after Tony's second jibe at Loki, which thankfully wasn't followed up by a rebuttal. There was a distinct sigh in his voice as he did it, and he was about to say more when Robin burst in and set down another piece to this ridiculously intricate puzzle. At the very least, it would give them all something to focus on and get them back on track. Something tangible. He gave a gentle nod to Johnny, opening his mouth to say that they had that covered when Zatanna was suddenly speaking but then Diana was bringing it back to trust. The amorphous shifting of tones was hard to keep up with, so he simply waited his turn. Wanda beat him to addressing the concerns about the X-Men and seemingly putting them to sleep, which eliminated one more opposition. He held out a hand to Cassie to stop her. "Not yet, Stinger," he said to her firmly, not because she was a child or because he thought she was incapable or whatever had set her off. It was because they didn't know what that thing was and Zatanna's forcefield was keeping it contained and safe. "You'll get time to look at it when we figure out what the hell it is. Just..." He sighed again, grateful to Bruce for taking over and divvying up the roles they had discussed. It was helpful, he thought, to the people calling for action to know their tangible roles. And it showed that he and Bruce hadn't just been sitting by with nothing to discuss or say. It was their credibility and he hoped it convinced people to trust that he and Bruce did actually know what they were doing. He had led many of these people before and they had followed him. And even if most didn't know Bruce well, so many people knew Batman. He was undeniable. The support of Wonder Woman and Superman held sway too. He just needed them to trust.

So he listened to Bruce lay it all out before nodding. "Wanda can offer something else to those who are training that I think is an invaluable asset. These guy are developing ways to shut off our abilities. And I know that so many of us rely on those abilities. Without them, some of us feel powerless. But not having your abilities doesn't make you useless. Not a single person here is. So I would encourage that you all take advantage of trying to work with Nightwing for brush ups--we all can benefit from keeping in practice--but with Wanda using her powers to cancel yours out. Find where your weaknesses are without your powers and then train those muscles until they ache. She can show you what it will feel like to find yourself in a combat situation without anything but your body to help you. I don't know exactly how NOVA's inhibitors in this second batch are going to work--" though he was really hoping he didn't end up 5'4" with Scarlet Fever again, "--But while Tony and Shuri are working on ways to work around them even in the short term, we only have ourselves to rely on." He met the gaze of every single person in turn, just a brief flicker for some and a lingering look for others. Natasha, for her part, seemed shut off, her face blank. She was listening, he knew, but he worried what was going on behind that impassivity. It was something to be dealt with later. "We're strong even without the things that make us different from the rest of the world. We have special abilities, but we're people first. There are a hundred other mutants, metahumans, aliens, and all the rest in this city. We gathered you because, like Batman said, we all have a part to play. So let's put aside the 'me' and start working toward this goal as a cohesive unit."

SUPERMAN: Bruce, as always, had covered all conceivable fronts. That wasn’t surprising. If he didn’t believe him capable of doing that, Clark wouldn’t have been as insistent that the League needed to reform in the first place (with or without their new addition of Avengers). It had been tempting to get in the middle of the squabbling, which they didn’t have time for, but it ceased well enough on its own. He wasn’t there to play bouncer, but he was certainly willing to do it if necessary. Tony Stark seemed to know everything but how to exercise a modicum if respect, and Loki was much the same. Duly noted. Neither had made a stellar impression on him in their limited time on the floor. One glance at the device Damian had brought in let him know there were no explosives within. It wasn’t lead. He could see through the casing, but Zatanna and the others had leapt at it and saying so seemed futile. Besides, just because he could see into it didn’t mean he knew what he was looking at. “You’ll have me where you need me,” he affirmed once all the roles had been handed out. He’d end up where he wanted to be - a face people saw as familiar, someone they could count on, someone who could help. He still had so much lost ground to make up for.

BLACK WIDOW: Natasha was still so utterly embarrassed that she had to actually use her Red Room training not to belie how she was feeling. That slip in her expression, in front of many strangers had not been acceptable, and she had immediately compartmentalized it and put it away, her face completely impassive. James would know what she was doing, but the blood in her ears told her it wasn't working as well as it usually did. Clint was off, and his memories were gone... but she'd never remembered him being such a Мудак. Asshole. When he had saved her from the Red Room, they hadn't been so old. And he had been patient, gentle and good even when he had nothing contribute. When he didn't know what to say. He belonged on this team. He belonged fighting alongside them. And she had apparently been too optimistic to think that the very essence of being a good man would still be there under it all. It wasn't often that Natasha Romanoff miscalculated and she clamped down even harder to compensate. Her face was so blank that it might be unsettling, honestly, and her muscles were tense as she nodded with her assignment. The heat of James' hand registered thereafter and, if he were looking at her, he would see the barest twitch of the corner of her eye. As if she had been slapped or as if, were she anyone but Natasha, her eyes might be pooled with angry and embarrassed tears. "Understood," she replied, voice level and even in response to her assignment. She very nearly left it at that. But her green eyes flicked to Batman, and someone who knew the power of the barest shift in expression, she tensed her jaw visibly before adding, "Barton is compromised." She couldn't just say nothing, not with the look on Steve's face. But she wouldn't apologize or make excuses. "It will be dealt with." Her tone was direct, to the point. "It was my mistake."

ROBIN: Damian had remained seated in a scowling silence ever since arriving, letting everyone jump over the device he had brought forward. He shot a sharp glare in Zatanna's direction at her snide remark and curled his fists beneath his folded arms. “Better than a two-bit stage magician.” He remarked sharply, but was drawn from his thoughts as Bruce spoke up regarding the device. “Of course I checked it for tracking equipment and explosives. I'm not an amateur, Father...” He retorted with a frown. “The building was older...but Kite-Man seemed to think it was one of NOVA's headquarters for some reason when he explained what he was doing. It didn't really seem like somewhere a government agency would hideout though.”

As Bruce divided everyone onto their assigned teams, the teen couldn't help but crack a small smirk. “Patrol and street work? Good thing I'm always doing that anyway, isn't it?” He stated with a humph. He turned his attention momentarily to the woman 'Black Widow' and regarded her posture and stance. As a former assassin himself, he could discern the minute details in her demeanor. She was lethal, that much he could ascertain. He just wasn't sure how, or what connection she had to the man that had left their meeting. This meeting didn't seem like it had been going the greatest before he arrived.

Damian didn't know what to make of the circus show they had assembled. There was the usual crowd – Clark, Diana, Barry...his family, Zatanna and Michael. People he was familiar with. It was the other group of people he wasn't certain what to make of. This 'Captain America' seemed trustworthy enough, but the Scarlet Witch and Loki were questionable. His brow furrowed slightly at the sight of Peter Parker, having kept up with the riots extensively since they happened. Tony Stark had so much arrogance to him it was nauseating and he was glad that he wasn't going to have to be working with him or this 'Black Panther' on anything. He was equally glad though he hadn't been placed with Oracle and Tim. He was skilled with tech, but it was true he was better used on the streets. As for the others? He really didn't know what to make of them.

“The teams sound pretty solid, Father. Oracle can make sure everyone stays competent on her team...I'm sure the tech team is capable enough as well. Anything we can use against NOVA will be vital.. weapons especially, preferably throwable.” He eyed Tony before looking back at Bruce and settling back into the seat.

ZATANNA: Zatanna made an apologetic gesture in Wanda's direction. She would've sent up a flare that said, "I'm Sorry!" but she'd already been accused of being irreverent once, and it probably wouldn't help. This whole thing was just so not her bag. She didn't do tech, she didn't do groups, and she didn't do this many big personalities in one room. The truth was, she was tense. What if they all fucked up? What if she fucked up? She'd never been the weak link before. And she had all this ... she'd been angry for so long. Angry at Clark, angry at NOVA, angry at every government that had asked for her help and then turned around and claimed her very existence was a crime. It was a lot to process, so she just hadn't. She'd gone to Tokyo, toured Europe, returned to America in a shower of praise and demands for her performance, and parked herself in Star City to do - something, anything - but without a plan about exactly what that was. And now here they were, and she'd been so sure that SOMEONE would have a plan. Okay, more specifically, she'd been sure that Bruce would have a plan, and Clark would say yes and do it perfectly, Diana would have notes about the battle strategies, Barry would either babble or do something shocking and effective, and the others would all add their bits in and it would all just ... flow. But there were so many of them here, people she didn't know. And she'd spent so long away from these people. So here she was, being an asshole. Fuck. This was all Bruce's fault. If he hadn't looked at her like that, she wouldn't have gotten all introspective. "Never expected to, Wayne. I'm just the magical consultant."

Maybe she was a little harsh on Damian, but no one in this room seemed to appreciate the ways that magic could ruin their plans. and NOVA probably didn't use magic. Probably. Hopefully. "Laever ruoy sterces dna hsinab lla slleps nopu uoy!" Zatanna gathered glowing light within the forcefield before her spell was done. "I'm trying to be good, see? You know I'm shit at this stuff."

WICCAN: His concern about communication with the mutants was mostly quelled, and there wasn’t much he could do about it either way. With the way the teams were split up, he would have some say in it at least. Batman had said part of what they were doing was collaborating. Maybe it was naive of him to think that his presence and Wanda’s presence would be enough to ease his grandfather’s reaction (should there be one), but he hoped it was true. Either way, he said nothing more of it and only nodded his agreement with the assignment. He glanced sideways at his mother long enough to whisper, “Go team,” with a little spark of red, like a burst of tiny fireworks, from his fingertips.

ORACLE: In truth, Barbara tended to prefer working in smaller groups, especially when it came to strong personalities, but the need couldn't be ignored here. At the end of the day, everyone in this room wanted the same thing, and needed each other to achieve that. It's that thought that keeps her from responding harshly, "Theoretically, Stark. Nothing I say is going to happen without plenty of testing." she starts nodding slowly as she takes in his full idea and, quite suddenly, pulls her laptop out of her bag and sets it on her lap, beginning to compile research. It's her laptop that also hides a small smile at the outburst from the clearly younger hero. She had to resist calling out a wry been there, done that. She looks at Stark again over her glasses, about to say she was already on it, when Damian came in with a burst. She doesn't waste a moment, wheeling closer with the open laptop on her lap, "Nice, Robin," she smirks as she peers at the camera, eyes following it as it went. She shoots a look at Z, as well as at Steph, but her mind is working far too quickly about the camera. She manages to perk up, smile, and nod when she's mentioned. She'll take the help gladly, and she even makes a note to ask Steph if she wants to help more, later. She's also intrigued by the shrinking she saw, and her mind trailed off to the best resources to research Pym Particles. However, Bruce speaking caught her attention with a minute smile, satisfied that he brought the order they very clearly needed as a group. As he finished and others chimed in, she resolutely pressed a key that sent her contact to everyone.

"You should all have just recieved my secure contact. Some of you know Oracle, but for those that don't? Use me as a resource. I have eyes all over this city. If you're in a sticky situation and need an escape, I'll get you out. If you're outnumbered, I'll send backup. If you think there's even a remote possibility your tech may be compromised, better to be safe than sorry.  I'm your eyes and ears when you need to see and hear further than you physically can. Don't be cocky out there, use your resources." she pauses only long enough to sweep her eyes around, "You'll all get a device to communicate securely with the whole team within 48 hours. In the mean time, I'll route any contact needed. And finally-- like Batman said, don't underestimate the value of videos at the moment. We can do a lot of damage to their relationship with society before we ever touch them, if we're smart about it, so let's be smart."

LOKI: He hadn't really been trying to instigate anything, though that was naturally the way he tended to communicate in order to get any sort of recognition. Annoyance was better than being ignored when he was right. Loki had grown up on Asgard, always right but never loud enough about it, always trying to help but disregarded as Odin's second son and the one that would never chosen for king in spite of his rampant qualification and dedication to emulating the Allfather to the best of his ability. He had learned very quickly that the councilor in him got him next to nowhere. But the spirit of what he had said, in spite of its antagonism, was that that girl was young, small, and unsafe at NOVA, which no one would know better than he did considering he spent every day there watching the kinds of things that could be done to her. Hand to hand was precisely what needed to be worked on. Combat training. But his point, it seemed, was lost the moment that Stark elected start speaking again. "My concern matches yours." He shot back. "How dare I question the survivability of a Midgardian woman I don't know well? If you were listening, Stark, which I suspect not considering the only sound you seem to enjoy is your own voice--" Something he didn't fault Tony for, as the same could be said for Loki himself, "--I was within the realm of agreeing. But, once again, I lack the understanding as to why you would put in a second insider when you yourself just brought up the risks to this girl's person without your 'faraday cage'." How should he know what the whelp was capable of? He saw a girl with powers. Take them away, what did she have? He didn't know, which was why he had asked.

The boy's entrance distracted him and he looked down at the device. He had seen similar parts at NOVA, but he didn't know precisely what this device did. He had only been there six months so his clearance level wasn't quite high enough. Still, when it was announced that it gave of a significant amount of heat, Loki blanched, mind jumping over to his last poignant memories of heat. "How much heat...?" he asked the one who had assessed it. Loki could and did still function under and after heat torture, but it put everything under duress for him. Needless to say, it made him a little uneasy. Thankfully, the doll that landed in front of him was enough to distract him, though not without him smirking at Zatanna's use of magic. He hadn't needed incants since he was a child. Still, he shook his head; it was powerful enough, he thought. His attention turned to the doll and, with a wave of his hand, he had it looking like Stark and he very nearly considered blowing it up, but he was capable of acting like an adult, unlike the newly departed Barton, who hadn't been half so... spirited when Loki had worked with him eight years ago. Maybe he'd changed. What was interesting was the female spider's response. He remembered taunting her back then about love. He'd thought it was 'for children', according to her. Perhaps not. Ultimately, he elected to quiet himself. He had his job. He made his contributions and he'd solidify himself as invaluable the longer he risked himself to bring the right information forward. He would just have to wait until then to prove himself. He did hope the Scarlet Witch was right and the meeting would come to a close soon. As enthusiastic as some seemed to be, it was going to start to drag on. To Zatanna, he spoke mentally again: Exceedingly testy bunch, this group. Is it not?

IRON MAN: Holy hell, was he still talking? Tony was too transfixed on the device in his hands to pay any service to hot air and useless arguments. "Don't care," he said dismissively, giving a wave of two fingers. He did stop his inspection enough to check his phone and save Oracle as a quick dial. "Catchy name."

NIGHTWING: "Get it together," Dick snapped, and even though he wasn't directing the words at anyone specific, it was obvious which people he was addressing. "This is a team and we have to work like one, or this is just going to fall apart. You've all worked on teams before, this shouldn't be news to you." It angered him to hear heartfelt speeches from both Clark and Steve, men he admired, and then see them be met with disrespect. He knew how difficult it was to lead a team and how little appreciation was given for doing it. "We're on it," he said to Bruce, unable to help a grin at Billy's fireworks even though he only saw them out of the corner of his eye. "I'll probably be asking you to do that again later. We're in dire need of some positivity around here.”

FLASH: Finally there was some plans being set into motion. Barry listened quietly as the talk about the camera and teams went on and on. Once things started to be ironed out, he grinned to himself and was on his feet - zipping to and fro between different people and leaning on their shoulders as he spoke a little and was gone again to someone else. "I think these teams are great. It's just nice to finally have a group to rely on again - and it'll be nice to have Oracle in our ears once more. It's been kind of lonely out there." He grinned. He zipped to Damian for a quick hair-ruffle and 'Good job kid' before he was back in his seat and straightening himself. "Sorry, I'm good now. You know me, sitting too long gets me pent up." He remarked with a sheepish grin on his face. It was obvious where Wally got a lot of his quirks from when you looked at Barry's antics sometimes.

HUMAN TORCH: Johnny offered no more verbal feedback. He had absolutely no place on the team he’d been put on. What the hell was he going to be able to do to help with the tech side of anything? He sat back in his seat and ran his hand along his jaw, casting a brief, defeated look at his sister. Maybe the Avengers had been a mistake. If Reed and Ben were there...maybe it’d be different.

BATGIRL: Okay, so maybe being put on ground patrol made sense, especially because Steph had every version of social media that existed. She already had a few ideas of how to shame NOVA and start a flame campaign against them. She knew how those things worked. Still, it stung a little that she wasn't asked to help train anyone in martial arts when that was literally what she did for a living. There was no denying that Dick was more skilled, but it would have been nice if Bruce asked her to help out too. But she didn't say anything about it. Even now, she wasn't sure if Bruce fully respected her - and it was something she still, years later, desperately wanted. But it meant something that she was here. There was a reason he asked her to be part of this new Justice Avenging team, or whatever it was, and she was determined to prove that she could be trusted and relied upon. "Anything else we need to cover? Because I can't stop thinking about those doughnuts someone left on the table. And I call dibs on the one with the rainbow sprinkles."

SCARLET WITCH: Wanda hadn't even considered that they might want her to use her powers that way. She could fight, but even that training had come from Steve. Surely there were better martial fighters. But when Steve spoke, it clicked. Because Wanda could do that. And she knew what it was like to train without the use of her powers because Steve had taught her to do just that when she had first joined the Avengers. It had been invaluable. She nodded to Steve, her own power running over her palms before she looked at her son with a gentle smile before catching Kara looking at her and returning that smile as well. Her expression remained for a moment longer before she turned to look at Bruce once more, the barest hint of gratitude showing on her face. She was an Avenger because she'd always been an Avenger, but many of the other people in this room didn't know her and wouldn't understand the complexity of her history. They'd see her as a liability. And they might be right, but she worked constantly to overcome that. And she knew that Steve already trusted her. But for some reason, Bruce had extended it to her enough to care about her in spite of what she had done. She knew Bruce Wayne well enough to know that trust didn't come easily to him. Wanda cared about him deeply, but more than that... he could see past the things she'd done to not only care about her as a woman, but still as a hero as well. He trusted her enough to put her with his son to help on a tangible level which embraced her powers rather than fearing them. She was so sick of being feared or feeling used. It mattered to her. She could feel Bruce's youngest son's eyes on her, and she turned to meet them, unabashed in doing so. She didn't know that she trusted that child, but she didn't question his presence if Bruce was here. Still, she didn't like the look behind his eyes even if his face was mostly impassive, so she found herself looking away. "I'll be happy to help anyone who needs me," she agreed with Steve.

BOOSTER GOLD: Michael was ecstatic. He was put onto a team with both Wonder Woman and Superman - how much better could it get? (Well, adding Bats would have been that little cherry on top, but two out of three wasn't bad.) He shot Clark a few finger guns, already thinking about all the PR he'd get from being out on the streets; all that air time, not to mention Goldstar and his good looks, could be a valuable platform to help discredit NOVA. All he needed was Skeets to help hash out the details. If all else failed, people liked money? (And disappoint Superman? Okay, maybe not bribery.)

SPIDERMAN: It really surprised Peter to hear that they were sticking Johnny with him and the rest of the computer geeks. As much as he enjoyed spending practically all of his time with him, he knew that Johnny was better suited out in the city. He had a face everyone recognized and loved, so sticking him with patrol seemed to be the only logical choice; he wouldn't question it now, though, not when there had been so much negativity in the group to begin with. He'd rather not add more wood to the fire. Still, Peter was glad he was able to help where he could, even if it meant he was still stuck inside.

SUPERGIRL: The only person Kara knew on her team was Barry, because of their previous work with the Justice League, and she wondered what her new teammates would be like and what the breadth of their skills were. What she knew was limited, although Invisible Woman was pretty self explanatory, and Stinger already made it clear what she was capable of. It was exciting and a little intimidating to work with others she never even met before. She gave a little wave at Bucky and Black Widow since they were across from her, then smiled at Cassie and Susan at the other end of the table. She could introduce herself later.

INVISIBLE WOMAN: Susan felt for Johnny - she really did, and while there had to be a good reason as to why they'd stick him on that team, she wasn't going to dwell on it. Instead, she offered him a sympathetic look of her own before her eyes caught the wave that Supergirl threw in James and Natasha's direction. She returned the smile given, grateful that their group seemed to be made of capable, level-headed people (hopefully, none of them made her regret that assessment); there was a nervousness there, if only because it had been too long since she'd been a part of anything like this, but the excitement to be working with a team again seemed to trump that.

SUPERBOY: Despite the fact that the reason why they would be working was worrying, he was actually pretty excited about it. It would be his first mision as an adult, and would be nice to finally be taken seriously, differently from how things were before and how he was seen just as a kid. He was one, but he was not useless. "I don't think so? I think that was all," he nodded, "I definitely agree with you, I could use some of those donuts right now," he told Steph, he couldn't think about anything else, they already thought about everything, but since he was not used to it all, he could be missing something. Which he doubted he was, despite his lack of experience, everyone seemed to be ready to leave already. 

CAPTAIN AMERICA: With everything assigned and everyone seemingly amenable to their roles--no one had really protested, though Steve did regret one or two placements but understood their necessity--it seemed as if the meeting had ultimately been a success. There were ultimately people that he wanted to talk more with, and some people for whom he wanted contingencies put into place. But, for the most part, this was an active plan with active positions and jobs for everyone. He was going to be busy, finally, doing what he was meant to be doing alongside someone who was absolutely brilliant at what he did. Steve had only collaborated with Bruce a few times so far, but it seemed to fit. He trusted Bruce's tactical skills, and Bruce seemed to trust him enough to take what he said into consideration. And as a result, they were finally going to accomplish what they should have done years ago. Of everyone in this room, all of them but two had been opposed to the ban. Tony had been... complicated, but he was here now and Steve knew where his allegiances lie. He didn't know Clark well, but he knew that Superman had been in support. It had been mindboggling to him, but maybe one day he would ask about it. It didn't matter now, though. What did matter was that they were all here, joined for this one purpose. There was still work to be done. That much was clear from the way Natasha spoke. Steve looked to Bucky, but there was nothing to be done about it in the middle of this room. He'd talk to him about it later. But for now, it seemed like a good time to close it up.

Getting to his feet, Steve took in the shield on the table a genuine smile pulled at his lips. "I think we all know what we have to do. Batman and I will keep up with all the teams and make sure that information gets disseminated where it needs to go as we receive it. Feel free to reach out with suggestions, new developments, anything. But I just want to thank you all for trusting. We're taking back this city. Every last one of us. And when it comes time, all the work we're doing now is going to pay off." He looked around at the group before giving a final, firm nod. "So let's get to it."

[rk800isalive]

Hello kiddos!!

   How is been going? I know it’s been a hot minute, a lot has been happening.

Where has this good Emerald been? Busy, depressed, and tired. Moved six states, been restarting my life with my fiance, my mac sort of died so I gotta get that fixed, I also suffer from a pot full of mental illness. One of which is DID, also one of my alters is awake. Why? Cause we’re both fucking pissed. So if my typing seems off, I’m not 100% fronting. 

As you’ve might have noticed, there has been a hell-a-lot of changes on my blogs. For those who don’t actually bother to read my updates on my blog, my Connor and a few other muses are 21+ only. Why? Because I’m tired of children. 

Why am I tired? Because I’m tired of high school drama. I’m tired of children acting like children, I’m close to 30, people. I don’t have time for children and anyone who are sending “rumors” of dumb ass high school drama shit. I personally don’t rp with some people anymore and I’m entitled do so.

But!!! But!! But, do you know what’s fucking amazing about the D:bh rp community???? There is a FUCK TON of us. If you don’t like someone there are literally hundreds of people in this fucking fandom. That’s not to be mean, that’s just cold hard facts. So, you’re going to sit here and be mad at someone who rps with people they are comfortable with? That’s like getting mad at someone for only drinking sprite and not coke. 

Your “worried” anons aren’t coming through as worried. It’s coming through as stirring the pot on shit that’s done. I’ve been in a hell-a-lot of fandoms before. Some peeps don’t get along and there is nothing wrong with that. Just because two people don’t talk doesn’t mean you can’t talk with either party. Yet, I’m going to add this, rather then jumping the gun and listening to random people who talks mad smack, how about you go formulate your own opinion. Get to know said person and formulate your own thoughts about that person. That’s what adults do. 

I probably have rumors spreading around about me too, and quite frankly I couldn’t give a damn. In the end of the day I’m going to sleep just fine. I don’t care what they do any more. Yeah, I’ve made some amazing friends in this fandom who I’m more comfortable with writing with. Why? It’s fucking common sense, I’m friends with them. I’m happy to rp with someone I know isn’t going to pull shitty things on me. I’m also always open to make new friends. I’m stupid friendly at times. I like chatting and getting to know people. I’m just much more guarded after assholes have come in and pulled shitty things. Just because my blog is selective or mutuals only, doesn’t make me an elitists or an asshole. It allows me to limit how many people I rp with, because I’m constantly tired and busy. I have a life outside this computer. I know wild, right? A life!? What!? -Gasps in spanish- Blasphemy!! 

Also even if I wasn’t a selective or mutuals only blog, I’m allowed to choose who I rp and who I don’t rp with. There isn’t any laws saying how to rp. 

I’m currently extremely slow on tumblr because I’m sharing my fiance’s pc. I’m able to rp when I’m here on the pc, and when I have the mental spoons. Also for people reading this and saying “Oh Eme’s starting drama” fuck off please. This isn’t starting anything, I’m stating fucking facts. Again, I’m fucking tired and old. I literally have half spoons to make my blog 25+ because literally I’ve only met a handful of people 21-25 that think. That’s my opinion by the way, and my own personal experiences. I’m also 28, literally 29 this year, I don’t have spoons for a lot of shit any more. Mean, sure, I guess come back when you get to be my age and ask if it’s mean.

Also, telling people how to rp or who to interact with is shitty. Starting rumors without facts or evidence is also high school “he said, she said” bullshit, which I don’t have time for. When you got actual facts to back up your claims I’ll listen. 

Oh, and before I forget, if you didn’t want to stir the pot, why didn’t you just send a dm? You could have done that. Instead you decided to send an anon where they would have to answer publicly or delete it. When you send anons like that, you are stirring the pot. Trying to guilt someone saying “Oh because you are A and B I’m just not going to rp any more!” Do you even hear yourself??? Do you know how stupid that sounds?? How is someone doing their own thing on their blog a factor on if you want to stay on tumblr or not. You are your own person just as much as that person is. 

Do you think guilting them is going to change anything?? Do you think your anon is going to help that person or just make them more on their guard? Do you people think before you send shit? Yeah this is super long now and a lot of people aren’t going to read all this so!! 

TDR: don’t be a dick and send guilt tripping anons about rumors that are nothing more then rumors. Do your own fact checks. Don’t be a dick to people.

Have a great fucking day,

Eme/Jack