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sayuricorner · 4 years ago

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Miraculous Ladybug salt x Jojo’s bizarre adventure: “Biodad!Jonathan Joestar” AU

Headcanons part 1

Warning: English is not my first language so sorry if it’s confusing.

Warning 2: This AU content salt don’t like don’t read!

Warning 3: For the Jojo character’s palettes colors I use the anime palette colors as reference.

If you want to use this AU you can! just credite and tag me in return please! :)

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So, in many ML biodad AUs Marinette’s bio dad is most of the time someone like Bruce Wayne or Tony Stark, but how about:

Biodad! Jonathan Joestar AU

I mean when you think about it both Marinette and Jonathan are alike in looks and personnality!

Appearance:

-Both got blue hair

-Both got light blue eyes

Personnality:

-Both are kind souls

-Both are selfless and think about others before themself most of the time

-Both got a strong sense of justice

-Both are very smart

-Both are combative when needed

-Both don’t hesitate to put themself in danger to protect others

-Both can over-react when they’re carried away by their emotions

And just imagine the story possibilities with this AU!

“But Sayuri! Jonathan Joestar is from the Victorian aera and Marinette is born in the french modern aera how Jonathan would be Marinette’s bio dad in this AU?”

Well the same way which make Giorno, Donatello, Ungalo and Rikiel Jonathan’s kids:

Yep! In this AU Marinette is another child born from Dio’s one night stands!

Now I know that make Marinette Dio’s daughter too and I know Giorno, Donatello, Ungalo and Rikiel are mostly know as Dio’s children but to be honest I consider them more as Jonathan’s kids than as Dio’s because honnestly outside of the head the rest of the body is Jonathan’s.

How Marinette’s conception happen then? Well here’s how:

Years before Marinette’s birth, a young adult Sabine Cheng was on a trip in Egypt, she meet Dio in a bar one night, he seduced her and they got a one night stand, with Dio having the intention to suck Sabine’s blood after, but at one Dio got a brutal crisis.

Normally anyone would get afraid and run away but instead Sabine, being the kind person she was, had done all she can to calm down Dio with all the tenderness she can give. And without being aware of it this actually saved her life.

After helping Dio to calm down both fall asleep, Dio woke up later in night while Sabine was still asleep.

Remembering the warm and familiar kind feeling he experienced during his “episode”, a feeling he didn’t feel for a very long time, he decided to spare Sabine under the pretext he wasn’t in the mood to suck her blood anymore before living to go back to his mansion.

In the morning Sabine wake up only to notice Dio left and never see him again after that night, she go on with her trip and when she go back to France she found out she was pregnant.

She decided to keep the baby, times later she meet and fall in love with Tom Dupain, both end up marrying to each other and Tom adopt Marinette and became legally her father.

The Dupain-Cheng couple also decided to give her a middle name “Joanne” in memory of one of Tom’s aunts with who he was close, making her full name “Marinette Joanne Dupain-Cheng”

Does that mean Marinette in this AU had the Joestar birthmark? Yep, she does! And she also got the Joestar genes when it’s come to body shape: as a kid she look like a shrimp but when she will be older she will get rather tall and will got more muscules to her peers’s surprise.

Did she had a stand in this AU? Yes!

Her stand is called [Viva la vida], a reference to the Coldplay’s song, this stand had the power to create miracles like making plants grow, healing illness and bad injures or being a big source of luck she also had a big affinity with plants and animals. But her powers had limits for example while her miracles allow her to bring back someone to life it’s only possible if the dead person isn’t dead for a too long time and make a powerfull miracle drain Marinette energy and she end up knocked out for a time.

When Marinette is Ladybug, [Viva la vida]’s miracles powers are stronger.

[Viva la vida] isn’t a stand know for her strengh but she’s very fast which allow her to make a lot of punches and kicks at the same time.

Stand’s appearance: [Viva la vida] is an humanoid stand with beetle features, her color schemes are black white and pink, she had beetle wings, big rond blue non-reflective eyes and her head is rond with two anthenas and is a head smaller than Marinette.

But if [Viva la vida] is a cute stand when Marinette is a civil, when the young girl took her Ladybug form, her stand took a more imposing and majesting appearance, she became taller, more muscular, her eyes smaller and almond shaped, her whole body get more armors features and her colors scheme change to black and red with black dots and she emit a rather intimidating aura.

Stand’s behavior: [Viva la vida] is a very expressive stand and very sentient and is a friendly and playfull stand. She’s very curious by nature and had the habit to examin in curiosity when Marinette meet new people or stands. Her being very sentient allow her to sometimes act as a conscience to Marinette.

She also love to eat cookies baked by Marinette.

When Marinette is Ladybug, [Viva la vida] is more serious and a more combative behavior.

Stand’s cry: “Mira!” a reference to “miraculous” and to the word miracle.

AU additional details:

-Class salt

-Bustier salt/bad teacher Bustier

-Adrien salt or Adrien sugar(it’s up to whoever use this AU)

-Lila salt

-Chloe redemption

-Class redemption, a part having a redemption or none of them having a redemption(you choose)

-Permanent miraculous user Luka

-Permanent miraculous user Kagami

-Stand user Luka

-Not everyone die AU/temporary death AU: if some Jojo characters like the Pillarmen, Caesar, Kakoyin, Avdol and Iggy are alive but others like Buccellatti, Abbacchio, Narancia and La Squadra are still dead but will not stay dead(You’ll see).

-Good father Jotaro

-Marinette's closed friends/loved ones calling her "Jojo" in reference to her middle name "Joanne"

-Donatello, Ungalo and Rikiel adopted by the Dupain-Cheng

-Protective siblings Donatello, Giorno, Rikiel and Ungalo

-Marinette being the baby sister of all Jonathan’s and Dio’s kids

-[Viva la vida] being a cute stand

-Marinette, Giorno, Donatello, Ungalo and Rikiel not acknowledging Dio as their dad

-Protective Joestar family

-Jonadad

-Good parents Sabine and Tom Dupain-Cheng

-Permanent miraculous users Donatello, Ungalo and Rikiel

-Badass Marinette

-Scientist Gina Dupain at Speedwagon Foundation

-Diavolo and Doppio getting differents boddies

-Akumatised Marinette with her stand being corrupted and turned into a sentimonster.(You’ll see! ;) )

-Temporary Ladybug!Giorno (You’ll see! ;) )

-Diavolo still stuck in the death loop(’cause it’s only canon if Diavolo die!)

-The Pillarmen knowing about the miraculous

-Shipping:You decide the ship you want just not Adrinette please

Arcs for this AU:

The bizarre origins arc:

This arc is about the origins of Marinette’s birth, her growing up and getting a stand, becoming Ladybug and learning to accomplish her duties as Ladybug while learning to control and use her stand and meeting others stand users.(ex: Luka)

The bizarre USA adventures arc:

Take place times after Lila’s return, the liar keep her word and little by little Marinette’s friends turned their back on her and the fights against the akumas are always very hard to not say harder especially ever since she became the guardian.

Seeing their daughter’s moral so down Sabine and Tom decide to send Marinette to Gina to the USA for summer break. After making sure to had Kaalki with her to teleport back to Paris when an akuma attack, Marinette go on a trip to the USA with her grandmother.

But what should have been a normal vacation trip will take a bizarre turn when Marinette will learn about Gina’s job at the mysterious Speedwagon Foundation which will lead to a meeting with four ancients Aztec gods of fitness, getting informations about stands and her mysterious lineage and a meeting with three american unknow brothers.

(In this AU the Pillarmen aren’t dead after Battle Tendency but they’re detained by the Speedwagon Foundation)

The bizarre mass resurection mystery arc:

A lot of things happened in Marinette’s life, things she didn’t expected whatever in good or bad.

Finding out about her grandmother’s job at the Speedwagon Foundation, learning more about her stand, finding about the existence of three brothers and having said newfound brothers being adopted by her parents, her friends isolating her thank to Lila and learning she by Bustier she and Chloe were banned from the class field trip...

So she decided with to create with other classmates from the school a trip club and after some successful fundraisers the club get a trip to Italy.

And since Hawkmoth seemed to not have attacked for a time there isn’t any problems to go on that trip.

In Italy, on Giorno’s side the part 5 events happen just like in canon while on Marinette’s side she and the trip club get a good time in Italy until a particuliary violent stand user akuma attack the country. He was akumatised by Hawkmoth ‘cause Gabriel Agreste was on a business trip in Italy and thought creating a akuma in the country would attract Ladybug and Chat Noir and give him an advantage since the akuma attack in a unfamiliar place.

The fight was very hard but in the end Marinette and her allies were able to beat the akuma and with her miraculous powers combined with her stand powers she revert any damage... it’s even worked for damage/injuries/death by stands leaving Marinette knocked out for a time since she use a lot of energy while using her stand’s miracle powers.

On Giorno’s side after he beat Diavolo and became the boss it was noticed that Buccelatti, Narancia, Abbacchio, the whole La Squadra were bring back to life.

Even Doppio was back but in a boddy of his own.

Everyone thought at first this was the work of [Gold experience requiem] but it was reveiled later this was the work of another stand which will put Giorno, his gang and even Jotaro with the SWF on a big infestigation which will lead them to the stand user resposible for this mystery and unknowly to them and to Marinette to one big bizarre family reunion.

The bizarre family arc:

With everything which happened in Italy, Marinette not only had to deal with Lila, Hawkmoth, the akumas and her guardian duties but also with the discovery of an extended families and horrible and disturbing informations about “one of her bio fathers”.

And one day Lila took things too far leading Marinette to unleash all her frustration, stress and anger making her akumatised and it will be up to Giorno as a temporary Ladybug holder, her true friends and her family to saved her from herself and from Hawkmoth’s influence.

But the task will be hard with not only Marinette being akumatised but also with her stand [Viva la vida] having being unconsciously corrupted by Mayura while trying to corrupt Marinette turning her into a sentimonster.

The bizarre final showdown arc:

A alliance between Hawkmoth and a mysterious priest will lead the miraculous villain to his ultimate plan by helping the priest to resurect a powerful man, a man infamous for being a curse to the Joestar family and to the world, with the promise to achieve Heaven and to gain a power which will allow Hawkmoth to do all he want.

It will be up to Marinette, her friends, allies and her new found family to put an end to Hawkmoth once for all and to beat this priest before the worst happen with the resurection of the infamous Dio.

But bizarre chains of events will lead to another resurection, the resurection of a man very well know by the Joestar family and who’s tightly connected to Marinette, Giorno, Donatello, Ungalo and Rikiel.

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for-i-am-dying-of-such-love · 5 years ago

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that time I watched Antony + Cleopatra

I don’t even know where to start with this one. Please don’t mistake my criticism of the episode with my hating it, because I actually think there’s a lot going on here with Xena (and Gabrielle too, but I am less focused on her arc) that’s quite nuanced and compelling. I love that Xena’s role in orchestrating Marc Antony’s downfall contributes to her moral and emotional conflict. What I abhor (and refuse to accept) is the suggestion that it’s born out of her falling in *love* with him, especially when there are far more consequential things in Xena’s life, past and present, fueling her angst in this moment. I have my own reading of what’s causing Xena’s uneasiness here, but more on that in a bit.

First: I think my greatest frustration is with the show itself. Like, THE FUCKING AUDACITY to foist a Boyfriend of the Week on us with just a handful of episodes left in season five. After everything, *everything*, that Xena & Gabrielle have suffered through (actual, literal HELL), and the continued devotion they show for one another, it’s just not believable that Xena would fall in love with someone else, let alone a ROMAN GENERAL. The emphasis here is important, but patience grasshopper, I’ll get to that.

Now, here’s where we start to get into the weeds with this notion of ‘Xena falling in love’ and there’s a lot to unpack around it, but before I do, let me just finish unspooling the threads of frustration I have with the show and it’s AUDACITY. Because it’s important to note that the show’s intention *was* to frame Xena’s attraction for Marc Antony as romantic - on top of whatever else she may have initially felt (indifference, intrigue, lust) - and not just sexual. And while I’ll concede that a story where Xena is forced to sacrifice her heart for the greater good by killing the man she loves is intriguing, it’s one we’ve already seen (Immortal Beloved). More than that, it’s a story that doesn’t fit with the Xena we know now, and the show, better than anyone, should have recognized this.

I know I’m being hard on the show runners here, so allow me this small tangent to give a little contextual understanding before furthering my arguments. As much fun as it is wrestling with the internal logic of this show (a surprisingly uphill battle all the time), I understand the unfortunate truth is that character motivations don’t always drive the story in the ways you would expect. Sometimes external factors complicate the stories XWP wants to tell and the ways it’s *allowed* to tell them. I get that.

I also get that Xena: Warrior Princess - both the show and the character - was expected to be sexy (hello, an easy win because Xena & Gabrielle). And that means, from time to time, it had to tease the audience with sex and seduction and romance (I guess fighting demons in Hell for the soul of your SOULMATE is not romantic enough, but I DIGRESS). What that often translated as on screen was a parade of Boyfriends of the Week for our two favourite Gal Pals, and by this point in the show, well, frankly it had been a while since Xena had had her a boyfriend (the Ares arc in season 5 doesn’t count). Simply put: a Marc Antony type was past due.

In this case, he wasn’t just past due, he served a dual purpose - fulfilling their Boyfriend of the Week quota, but also helping to re-establish Xena’s sexuality after she’d had her baby. I happen to think the latter take is overly simplistic and misguided (because, what, pregnant women are not also capable of being sexual creatures?), but it’s something Rob Tapert has commented on. So, ok, sure, fine whatever.

To be fair, I’m not sure if the show was deliberately signalling the return of Sexualized!Xena, or if it was simply a byproduct of the chemistry between the characters, and the inherent sensuality of the story’s setting. Regardless, the end result was certainly titillating. And I get it. I get why they want Boyfriends of the Week sometimes. Sex sells, and this episode was a blockbuster.

And before I return again to being hard on the show runners about dumb boyfriends, I just want to point out that my specific problem isn’t that Xena has been given a *boy*friend. Xena is bisexual, so men are always going to be an option when she’s considering a romantic or sexual partner. My issue is that she’s considering *any* romantic partner at all! By the gods, she’s essentially married to Gabrielle at this point.

Ay, but there’s the rub. Because the same expectation that dictated XWP should be sexy, also dictated that it should be heteronormative. The show can repeatedly double down on Xena’s & Gabrielle’s emotional and spiritual fidelity but it can never be seen explicitly to be sexual too (just a reminder, I haven’t seen S6 yet). That’s the unfortunate and uncomfortable reality of television in the late 90s and early 00s.

But this is where I take umbrage: XWP may’ve been limited (by studio notes) to giving us a chalk outline of what Xena’s & Gabrielle’s relationship really looked like, but they most definitely had the ability to control how they coloured the relationships Xena & Gabrielle had with their Boyfriends of the Week. And again, in ‘Antony and Cleopatra’ the show chose to frame it as a love story, a romance, when simply playing it off as Xena’s libido run amok would have satisfied the episode’s need for sex appeal, while also honouring the fact that her heart has long been spoken for (don’t worry: taking Xena’s heart out of the equation won’t lessen her moral or emotional conflict any - I’m getting there!).

Because here’s the thing: Xena getting caught up in the heady thrill of a seduction play, especially with a man as attractive and powerful as Marc Antony is totally believable. And really, Xena taken in by *lust* makes sense, especially at this point in her life. I mean, it’s been a while since she’s had to play this seductive cat-and-mouse game (Ares doesn’t count) and maybe she’s forgotten how easy it is to slip into this character, how much fun it can be. Maybe it’s even a little liberating - this return to form from when she was wild and free - because a lot has changed since she last had to do this; she’s changed and in ways she never anticipated. She’s settled down, even if she’s still travelling the known world. Made a commitment to Gabrielle to share a life together, had a baby, and now the three of them are carving out their own little domestic sphere. And all of this is happening while she’s still reconciling the person she was before with the person she is now. Maybe she’s a little itchy.

Because this… this tension, the cadence of a feint and parry charm offensive, it’s familiar. Comfortable in a way she didn’t know she missed until she felt it again. It would be easy to see her drunk with dark delight, to momentarily lose sight of her head. It would be believable. What’s not believable is that she - a pragmatist - would ever lose sight of her heart. Because the stakes of the game are so high, for Egypt but also for her. (And for you in the back who’s clearly read ahead on the syllabus and is about to point out Xena’s checkered romantic history and her self-proclaimed soft spot for Bad Boys Who Love Like Fools - don’t worry, we’ll get there too.)

What I’m taking a generous amount of time to say is this: if they simply wanted to give us a lush and sexy episode, they could have delivered on the sexiness without attaching it to a love story! We are long past believing Xena only kisses people she’s in love with, or that she’s in love with all the people she kisses. There’s no need to pretend her sexual agency is only relevant or operational within the confines of a romantic plot line. But more than that, throwing an unbelievable romance into the mix really only serves to threaten the integrity of Xena’s motivations, because it risks reducing the entirety of her turmoil to: Xena loses another boyfriend, how le sad. And that is absolutely not the point.

Because the point is this: Rome fucking corrupts and perverts everything it touches. And Xena’s motivations are built from her (and now Gabrielle’s) tortured history with the empire and the men who run it. And if you’ll permit me, like 4,000 words, we can get into it and, hopefully, you’ll agree that shit is heavy enough on Xena’s mind without a ‘star-crossed lovers’ storyline. Remember, it was only a year ago that they both were nailed up by Romans and left to die under a cold, grey sky at the foot of Mount Amaro. That cross alone, and the long shadow it casts, is more than capable of supporting the dramatic weight of this episode, never mind the crosses that came before it.

So, I can’t overstate the importance of Xena’s past connection with Caesar and Rome. It informed so much of who Xena was to become, as a cruel and bloodthirsty warlord, and then later, as a warrior fighting for good. Even now, after Caesar’s death, that connection is still informing her. It will never stop. And, Rome will never be absolved of its sins against Xena & Gabrielle. There’s simply too much trauma in that shared past. Trauma that‘s telegraphed onto every interaction Xena has with Rome and its strongmen going forward.

And it’s exactly the reason Xena would never fall in love with Marc Antony. She might well lust after his body, but she will never pine for his devotion. Because, even in that moment under the stars when he is just a man with his chest cracked open, offering up to her his heart, beating strong and hungry in want of her affection, she can’t help but see the hardened, black veins where the love of Rome - like a creeping scourge - has left its vile mark. Of course she recognizes it, her own heart bore the same disease. A gift from Caesar. The pretty boy with his pretty words and his pretty promises, who so subtly disarmed Xena and then skillfully stripped away her defences until she had bared her heart to him. Who didn’t hesitate to flay it with a knife of her own making, it’s blade poisoned with his love for Rome.

He did not take her heart - sometimes she wished he had - but left it to rot in her chest, slow and angry. And it nearly destroyed her. Nearly drained her of every ounce of humanity she had left, as hatred and spite and cold brutality filled her up instead. He had weaponized Xena’s affection for him and used it against her and she was forever changed. In that singular moment she saw Caesar, and Rome - because Caesar was Rome and Rome was Caesar and they were one and the same - for what they truly were: insidious and unrepentant in their calculated villainy. And she hated - not just the man who betrayed her, but the monster who nursed him with poisoned milk, and all the other strongmen who nursed at the same teat. Because in that moment too, Xena learned that all the men who kneeled before Rome and lusted after her glory were the same.

But she didn’t let her hatred go unproductive. She had been careless and imprudent in her dealings with Caesar, and nearly paid for it with her life. Except she survived and then thrived, in her own insidious, unrepentant, calculated villainy. And she never forgot what Caesar had done to her, how he had done it. She turned it over and over and over again in her mind. Studied it from every angle. Studied *him*. Until she knew how he thought, how he moved, where he was weak and unsuspecting. Until she knew every single one of his plays, and how best to counter them. Where and when to lay siege. A secret weapon she cultivated, not just to destroy the man who destroyed her heart, but to lay waste to all the fools who followed in his footsteps. She wouldn’t be taken in by Rome again.

And, to be fair, the episode doesn’t try to run from this history. It just doesn’t linger in it any longer than is necessary to give a brief nod to Brutus and the crucifixion (which is a shame, because it informs so much of both Xena’s & Gabrielle’s psychology, but we’re getting there!!!). Even still, Gabrielle’s first words are loaded with its legacy, if not also quiet resignation: “Are we really going to do this?” Because: Fuck! Rome, again? They’re only willing to go another round with Rome because of Cleopatra, only willing to embrace the ghosts this will stir up because they feel they owe it to a friend.

So, of course they’re going to do this. Only, it’s no longer about vengeance, at least not the white fury that once burned hot in Xena’s veins. This is different. Xena’s ire still seethes, but she doesn’t plan to wield it like a mighty sword, rather she’ll channel it with the precision of a surgeon’s scalpel poised to excise a tumour, deliberate and clinical. The plotting is easy - Xena has a library of schemes stored away in the vast reserves of her grey matter - but made easier by the fact that she knows Caesar’s playbook so intimately. The man may be dead but he lives on in Rome and the hearts of all the faithful men who love her - proud and predictable. Puppets whose strings she knows she can deftly manoeuvre. The problem is that Xena’s too comfortable in her self-assuredness. Her plan and her assumptions of how Roman strongmen operate and her ability to manage everything is founded on her understanding of Caesar. And none of these men are the next Caesar. And it’s a problem, because this was supposed to be a quick and straightforward trip up the Nile to Memphis to do a little housekeeping on behalf of a friend and it’s been complicated by the fact that her pawns are not being cooperative.

This entire endeavour is not what she was expecting, Antony is not at all what she was expecting. He’s disarmingly handsome and charming, like many of Rome’s great strongmen, and their chemistry is electric - a bonus when you’re really trying to sell your part in a seduction play - but she realizes a little too late that the game she plays with him is not the one she had planned on. It’s actually much more dangerous.

And, I get that many fans believe Xena’s sexual attraction to Marc Antony is meant to telegraph an underlying romantic attraction as well. That as their physical encounters become more intimate and intense, so too must Xena’s feelings for him. And it’s easy to read it this way because Gabrielle’s own jealousy seems to reinforce the very idea, and Xena, herself, looks increasingly unsettled after each interaction. But I think it’s too simplistic an answer. Xena’s unease about Antony is growing because her plan has been frustrated by unforeseen hurdles, none of which include her falling in love with him. And Xena is frustrated in return.

We totally see this play out in Xena’s treatment of Gabrielle. She is curt and cool and dismissive (at least until their balcony talk), especially after Gabrielle puts a spectacular halt to Xena’s picnic with Marc Antony. But Xena’s distance here is not because she’s being defensive (at Gabrielle’s continued suggestions that she’s lost the plot), or because she’s angry for the interruption (ok, I’m sure there’s a very base part of Xena that *was* disappointed), or because she’s hurt (how could Gabrielle not have faith in her?). It may come across that way, but, really, Xena’s just acting out her frustrations.

Because this whole situation with Marc Antony, if a little intriguing at first, is irritating. And Xena’s frustrated. On many levels. The most obvious, and least surprising, being that Antony’s attentions have left her itchy and it’s distracting. And not because the chemistry between them has set off a chain reaction of romantic feelings for him - Xena is not spending her free time daydreaming about the man behind the General. It’s simply because there’s a kind of fire in her veins now that she wasn’t expecting to deal with this time out and it has the tendency to keep her on edge. And it’s not that she can’t handle it - spontaneous combustion is sometimes an occupational hazard when she’s playing at desire - it’s just that this particular element was not part of her plan.

That’s the real frustration: Xena’s not used to her plans being stymied. Her opening move - rolling herself, naked and chained, out from a carpet - though, brazen, should have been the perfect lure, should have painted her Cleopatra as an easy, if not unwilling, target for Antony’s ambitions. Because all Roman strongmen are the same: pretty boys with pretty words and pretty promises and pretty predictable tastes for cunning and seduction that they weaponize for the glory of Rome; heartless but for their love of res publica.

And so, this exact play is one Xena is confident any ambitious Roman would pounce on - remember: she knows their playbook, was once herself on the near-losing end of such a gambit, back when she was still a little naive and the right words could soften her heart; before her legs and her psyche endured the full force of Rome’s wrath. Except Antony doesn’t take the bait, like she expects, and it catches Xena flat-footed, a position she rarely finds herself in and one she isn’t particularly fond of. And so now she finds herself having to regroup and change tactics on the fly, which is fine - she’s used to that too - it’s just that her forward momentum is frustrated by the fact that she can’t get a good read on Marc Antony, doesn’t quite know his angle. He’s an unknown and unpredictable variable in a plot that already has a lot of moving parts and it introduces just the tiniest element of doubt into the equation.

Which is why it doesn’t help that Gabrielle is dubious of Xena’s motivations surrounding Antony. Not that Xena blames her for her concerns. She knows they aren’t really meant to provoke - that they come from a place of genuine anxiety, born from Gabrielle’s intimate understanding of Xena’s unhappy past with both bad-boy types and the ravages of Rome. Knows that Gabrielle, whose heart has traced all the scars of that past and let her love be a salve, is steadfast in her belief in Xena, even when the wheels are falling off. But Gabrielle’s questions do provoke. They pique Xena’s frustrations. It leaves her feeling cagey - like her back is up - and she hates it because it means she’s dangerously close to being on the defensive.

And really, by the time Marc Antony invites her to meet him under the pyramids, Xena is running out of options. Her back isn’t just up, it feels dangerously close to being backed up against a wall. She’s only playing this game because she’s confident she’ll win - that’s why she led with such a shameless opening bid, presenting herself to Antony as she did - but with each round Antony’ coyishness has forced her to up the ante while she waits for him to play his hand. Once upon a time she might have enjoyed and encouraged this slow, deliberate back-and-forth - would have been willing to play it out until she was out of chips (and her clothes) - but she no longer has the patience. Not that she’s entirely immune now to the thrill of what they’re doing - Xena has always enjoyed the hunt and then playing with her food - it’s just that she needs him to reveal his hand before he can call her bluff because there aren’t anymore chips to spare and she has too much on the line to go all in.

But Xena’s emotional conflict isn’t just being driven by her frustrations with the way her plan is playing out - it’s priming the engine, to be sure - there are other feelings at work here too. And chief among them is a deep and growing unease with the roles she and Gabrielle have cast themselves in and the very real consequences that will come from their interference. It doesn’t sit well with Xena, the way they’re toying with the futures of Egypt and Rome - as if they are just prizes to be won and Brutus, Antony and Octavius are the game pieces that need to be maneuvered around the board until a winner appears. As if there aren’t millions of lives at stake. She hates it. Hates that she has been somehow cast above it all, to dabble, like some unworthy god, in the lives of so many, and yet also stuck in the thick of it, an unwitting pawn herself.

And the longer Xena’s game is in play, the murkier everything becomes. What seems like a straightforward plan on paper, is actually a mess of competing interests, each as cold and ruthless as the next. And right at the heart of it all: Xena (and Gabrielle too), judge, jury & executioner. Because despite her business-like approach when they arrived in Egypt, Xena’s ability to remain detached and objective is under pressure, especially as all the players in her game reveal themselves and their motivations resolve into finer focus.

And there’s something about Marc Antony. He’s truly unnerved Xena. Because he didn’t play by her rules, the rules she owed to Rome - and he, a Roman no less. Maybe there would have been a time in her past when this would have endeared him to her, but now it’s left her uneasy. He needles at her resolve, the confidence she has in her plan. There’s a part of her that starts to wonder if she’s mis-read him completely, and that’s the start of a slippery slope into thinking she has mis-read this entire situation. And she doesn’t have the time for back-sliding.

But the problem is this: no matter how she looks at it there’s no clear answer, only devastating consequences if she’s wrong. For herself, for the lives she’s playing with, and probably for most of the known world. Because Rome and her strongmen will stop at nothing to take it all. And that thought never leaves her. Rome is a constant drum beat in her mind: Rome Rome Rome. Xena knows what Rome is capable of, what these three men jockeying for her power are capable of, even if Xena doesn’t know *them*. It echoes in her mind every time one of them is before her - even as Marc Antony’s kisses leave behind a fever in her blood - Rome Rome Rome.

And while her mind whirls constantly, turning over strategy and tactics, she’s tried to keep her heart mostly out of this affair. Left it unburdened by the machinations of statecraft and violent political intrigue. Except for a dull ache - when she thinks about Eve downriver in Alexandria, or when her eye catches Gabrielle in an unguarded moment - Xena could almost believe the desert sun had turned her heart to dust. Almost. Except that ache is there and, like her frustration and unease, it’s been growing more persistent.

Because Xena has more than herself to consider now. Sure, she’s spent the last five years dedicated to preserving the greater good - whether fighting for her closest friends or the nameless, faceless masses - but it’s different now, she’s different, and not just because she has a daughter who needs her to come home. She has Gabrielle too. They have a little family. And even though Xena has loved Gabrielle for years, she feels fiercely protective of Gabrielle’s heart and love now, in a way she’s never felt before, with anyone. But then, maybe it’s not surprising: they did battle demons in hell for each other’s soul. That sort of thing changes everything.

And Xena can see how this is affecting Gabrielle, even if she doesn’t say it out loud. Remembers the pierce of iron through the flesh of Gabrielle’s hands as surely as she remembers it through her own. Rome has robbed them both and Xena sees the weight of it in Gabrielle’s gaze. Sees, too, the way Gabrielle traps her bottom lip in her teeth as Xena smiles seductively at Antony. Watches the flush creep across Gabrielle’s pale skin when Antony’s kisses become more emboldened. Catches the dangerous flash in Gabrielle’s green eyes. The one that hasn’t gone away since they arrived in Egypt. Xena sees and it makes her heart lurch. To watch her beloved watch her take delight in the charms of another. And to know the sight of it is a white hot grip on Gabrielle’s heart. Xena feels the burning clench around hers too.

And this is the Xena we see when she meets Marc Antony under the pyramids. Frustrated and uneasy, heart aching. Tired. Tired of this game and her role in it. Tired of Rome, but mostly tired of all the horrible things that happen by her hand because of Rome. And then there is Marc Antony waiting for her. Disarmingly handsome and charming, unnerving in his refusal to play into her hands, a Roman above all: a pretty boy with pretty words and pretty promises. And like all Romans, she expects the promises to be lies. Except, there’s something in the way he’s played his hand, the way he’s held back all this time, that tells her there might be truth in his words when he tells her he wants her love.

She can sense his confession even before the words are out. Maybe on some level she always knew, had seen the inevitability of this moment even as she refused to believe in the possibility. But his words pierce the haze that has kept her from seeing her own folly. And it’s like lightning in a bottle. The way every frayed nerve snaps and jumps and arcs all at once - the rain of sparks illuminating everything that had left her mind and heart unsettled - in an instant of sudden, total understanding. It steals her breath and slices at her heart, this clear and unbearable realization. What she’s done and what she still has to do to bring this absurd game to a close.

See, she’s made a terrible miscalculation. Because in her mind Roman brutes are heartless. Capable of loving only Rome. And her seduction of Marc Antony was only ever meant to be a power play. How could it be anything more? She had weaponized lust and sex in the past to get the things she wanted, this was to be no different. Except that it was. And her hubris - her prideful overconfidence in her infallible, little plan, coupled with her resolute belief that all Roman men are Caesar at their core - has led her to overplay her hand. Not that she won’t still find a way to win. It’s just the cost will be much higher than she could have anticipated.

Because she has unwittingly weaponized Marc Antony’s affection for her and now she is going to have to deliberately use it against him. It is devastating. To see his chest bared to her so willingly, and to know that she must flay his heart with a knife of his own making. It shakes her resolve. It brings tears to her eyes.

But of course it brings tears to her eyes. She has done the unthinkable: she herself has become Caesar. The thing she hated most. The man who won her trust and her love and then betrayed her. Cold and hard and heartless. Brutal and ruthless and willingly so. In this moment she is Caesar. And soon she will become Rome, sacrificing another man, who might yet have been good, in the name of her unrequited love.

This moment under the pyramids is so important. Everything hangs on this declaration from Marc Antony, on Xena’s tears. I know people see it as confirmation of Xena’s feelings for him - and she has feelings to be sure - but they’re not romantic. Xena’s emotional reaction, and the genuine unease she wears thereafter do not hinge on her being in love with him. Xena’s humanity is enough to soften both her heart and her regard for Antony in this moment. Her compassion and regret are not dependent on attraction or attachment. And so the story doesn’t need to frame her tears for Marc Antony as a lover’s heartbreak, because her heart was always going to break for him, as it breaks for herself and Gabrielle and the ruin left in their wake.

And there will be ruin. Xena is certain of it. Although, for a moment, she might have held a glimmer of hope for Antony. This Roman who’s willing to give up his army for love. For love. Not that she wants what he’s offering. She just wants to believe he could be different. Not for her. For Rome. But then his sword is hilt deep in the belly of one of Brutus’ men and then slicing through the throat of another. And Xena knows - even as she and Gabrielle dance around the subject hours later, bathed in moonlight and disquiet - that any hope for him is misplaced. Knows exactly what he will do with Brutus’ army and Octavius if he prevails. Is keenly aware of what awaits if he learns of her deception and is allowed to live.

Because once upon a time she was the one who trusted and loved and was betrayed and lived. And thousands paid the price at the end of her sword for Caesar’s treachery. Xena can’t even imagine what Marc Antony, favoured son of Rome, might do. Can’t risk the chance. So he must pay the price at the end of her sword too. Xena wishes it weren’t so, tries to avoid the fight that will take his life - because now that she’s seen the humanity in her enemy she wants no further part in this madness she’s helped to orchestrate - only she doesn’t have a choice now. Alea iacta est - the die is cast, and her blade and her betrayal find Antony’s heart all the same. And when the end comes, there’s Xena, soaked in blood and rain and tears, in the middle of this fucking mess, the dead and wounded scattered about her. She can’t escape the truth of it then: she did this.

And it’s this! All of this - the many layers of trauma in need of reckoning and Xena’s tangled heart, twisted further by the part she is forced to play in Egypt and the goddamn fucking senselessness of it all - that carries the emotional weight of the episode. Who needs a Boyfriend of the Week when there’s already all this angst?

And, ok, I hear you say: Pattie, you’ve made some valid points about Xena’s state of mind, but why can’t Xena’s emotional and moral conflict be born from this fraught personal history AND from the fact that she *was* falling in love with Antony? Wouldn’t that make it an EVEN MORE dramatic and powerful story? Because she was specifically falling in love with a ROMAN GENERAL, the very epitome of the thing she has spent most of her adult life hating?

I would like to agree with you, dear skeptical reader, but the simple truth is that there isn’t room for both in *this* story. The reality is this: a 44-minute-long, action-focused show like XWP just doesn’t always have a lot of extra time to linger on the emotional beats. And this episode, in particular, already so busy with all the palace and political intrigue, has even less. So much of what we’re able to read of Xena’s psychological state - and *why* it’s so deeply fraught - doesn’t even come from this episode. It relies on past emotional beats to inform our understanding of her behaviour. (And, I don’t know, perhaps this is why a casual viewer might pass off Xena’s and Marc Antony’s interplay as romantic - because most of the horrible things that have happened to Xena by Roman hands are left unsaid, and surely, if we’d been reminded of them we would never accept that Xena would fall in love with a golden boy of the empire.)

As it is, there’s barely space for any kind of meditation on how either Xena or Gabrielle are feeling about the roles they are being forced to play and the seemingly callous and ruthless tactics they increasingly use to do so, let alone a tenuous romance. And the former is what this episode should be actively engaging with: the moral ambiguity that has been driving season five and will continue on through the end of the series.

Further complicating things with a love story, doesn’t make the episode more dramatic, it just takes up emotional bandwidth that could be better served elsewhere. Because, yes, Marc Antony is the epitome of the thing Xena has spent more than a decade hating! Xena’s history with Caesar and Rome (and everything they both stand for) is richly layered and devastating. It cannot be erased or ignored. To suggest that she is capable of falling in love with Antony (and to ask us to then believe it) without also deliberately exploring the tension inherent in that act is obtuse.

Those kinds of emotional beats need room to fucking breathe. And the episode doesn’t do this because there’s just too much happening. It tries - in broad, moody strokes - to capture the tenor of Xena’s emotional landscape, and it succeeds in wrapping us up in the same angst that drapes Xena, but the source is nebulous. Her haunted looks and tears - under the sphinx and when her sword finds Antony’s belly - can only telegraph so much, especially when we have been given very little reason to feel invested in her supposed affection towards him.

And here’s where we finally touch on Xena’s checkered romantic history - and her self-proclaimed soft spot for Bad Boys Who Love Like Fools (10 points to Ravenclaw for your patience) - because I’m sure you’re about to suggest that Marc Antony’s air of a Bad Boy is itself cause enough to garner Xena’s affection. Powerful, disarmingly handsome, and charming? Check, check, check. Capable with his ‘sword’? Bonus: super check. But just because her past is littered with dysfunctional relationships and Bad Boys - though I’m sure not all were bad, and some were definitely women - doesn’t mean she’s interested in repeating her mistakes. The Xena of old is vastly different from the one we know by season five, even if there are parts of her that are very much the same.

The principal driving force in her early adult life and formative romantic relationships was lust. It ruled over every part of her. Lust for: power and for violence and for blood and for riches and for infamy, and, of course, for sexual gratification. And so, she sought out partners - themselves driven by the same hunger - who could satisfy all of her desires, not just her (very) carnal appetite. She fell hard and fast and burned white hot until something, or someone, else came along and made her feel even more incandescent. In those early days, Xena wasn’t looking for *love*, she was looking for a good time.

Now, that’s not to say Xena’s past romantic entanglements were frivolous or lacking in genuine sentiment. At the very least, I suspect many were sustained by the warm affection that comes naturally from the intimacy of sharing your life with someone, whether they’re riding into battle alongside you or just warming your bed over a long winter. Nor is it meant to be dismissive of whatever fondness she felt for her lovers. Because: not all love looks the same. There are different kinds of love and different ways to love.

For Xena, though, whose heart had been so thoroughly and devastatingly mangled by Caesar’s betrayal, love was immaterial. At best, it was the unintended, if pleasurable, byproduct of a mutually beneficial arrangement. At worst it was a weakness that her enemies could exploit. Mostly, it was just a silly notion to scoff at. And the feeling Xena would come to associate with love - whether she acknowledged it as such, or not - was informed by both the dynamics of her relationships with Bad Boys and her own dark, irrepressible designs. It was selfish, and often cruel. Grounded in hot blooded impulses and savage desire, rather than growing out of an honest and patient connection.

And it became so thoroughly ingrained in her psyche. It was her overriding view of love. Even after she came to recognize how different love could be - and look and feel - once it was no longer centred in selfishness, when it was open and giving and kind, it was a struggle for Xena to undo her conditioning, to rewrite her love language. Because: first, she had to accept that she was worthy of this new kind of love, and then she had to actually accept it once it was offered.

But, old habits die hard, even for Xena, and I’m sure there were times - when she was just beginning to reframe how she viewed love and was learning how to reopen her heart - that she slipped back into her outmoded ways of thinking. Conflating lust with something else; allowing herself to be tempted by dalliances with partners who stoked her selfish desires, instead of tempering them. And maybe if Xena had crossed paths with Marc Antony then - back at the beginning of the series when her history with Rome was still messy but not nearly as tortuous as it is by the end of season five (you know after Britannia and its fallout which was the beginning of The Rift, and the deaths of Crassus and Ephiny and Pompy and the countless others who were the collateral damage surrounding those events, and, of course, Xena’s & Gabrielle’s own death on the cross) - I’d be willing to believe that she could love him.

Because, at one time Xena might have been interested in a man like Antony, might have been able to look past the Roman tunic and pursued him, taken in by his magnetism and allure. But by this point in the series Xena just isn’t interested, and not because her duplicity has made it impossible for her to be, but because by now her entire understanding of love - of being loved and giving love and nurturing it and making room for it to grow - has fundamentally changed. It’s been re-centred in selflessness, and everything that Marc Antony represents is antithetical to this new appreciation.

And I get that there’s an argument in here somewhere, that suggests Xena’s new approach to love might have softened her heart in such a way that she’s both able and willing to see the man behind the General, and be open to loving him too. But I would argue that the very things, the very people, whose love has transformed Xena’s heart are also the very things that would stop her from ever letting her heart go there. It’s not just that her point of reference on love has changed, it’s that she’s had years now of lived experience to break that cognitive dissonance between her attitude - knowing the kind of love she wants, the kind of love that’s *good* for her - and her behaviour - choosing that reaffirming, selfless love instead of the tempestuous, selfish one. She’s not blind to her past weaknesses, she knows exactly the sort of temptation Marc Antony offers - as surely as Gabrielle does the moment she lays eyes on him - but recognizing it is not akin to considering it. Because: Xena’s already found the love she needs and wants (and knows she’s earned and deserves).

Ok, but what of Xena’s admission on the balcony, when she cops to having a soft spot for Bad Boys Who Love Like Fools? I think it’s less about admitting (to herself as much as Gabrielle) that she’s developed romantic feelings for Marc Antony, as it is about Xena acknowledging a certain sort of fondness she feels for these ‘Bad Boys’. A fondness that’s born from a mutual understanding. Because: I think Xena sees herself in these men - at least an earlier version of herself - when she was ‘bad’ and foolhardy at love, and her heart tugs at the memory of it. Some curious mix of nostalgia and empathy, that softens her regard for them.

And she certainly sees herself in Marc Antony. The parallels between her story with Caesar and the story she’s now playing out with Antony are unavoidable, and if she’s cast herself as Caesar in this shadow play then Marc Antony is her younger self. Of course she would have a soft spot for him, she knows how this story ends. Knows, specifically, what it’s like to be willing to give your trust and your love only to be betrayed in return. And, of course, it’s made only more complicated with the knowledge that she’s the one who will ultimately be his ruin.

So, finally, exhausted and exasperated and, like 7,000 words into this, I hear you ask: what does it really matter? Xena doesn’t choose Marc Antony in the end, so what does it matter if it was lust or love or guilt or a fucking mid-life crisis that was driving her in this episode? Well, dear, patient reader: it matters because Gabrielle deserves better (THIS IS A BOLD STATEMENT, I KNOW, AND IT’S NOT AN INDICTMENT ON XENA’S CHARACTER EITHER, IT’S JUST THAT I FEEL VERY PROTECTIVE OF GABRIELLE’S HEART, OK! AND THE ONE THING THIS EPISODE DOES IS GIVE GABRIELLE THOSE LITTLE BEATS WHERE WE LINGER ON HER VISIBLE REACTIONS TO XENA’S TETE A TETE WITH ANTONY AND SHE’S CLEARLY JEALOUS AND HURT AND WORRIED AND SO, LET’S NOT LOSE SIGHT OF THE FACT THAT HER EMOTIONAL STAKES ARE ALSO INCREDIBLY HIGH IN THIS EPISODE, NOT JUST BECAUSE HER LIFE PARTNER IS SEDUCING SOME DUDE, BUT ALSO BECAUSE THE LEVELS OF BRUTALITY SHE’S INCREASINGLY HAVING TO EMPLOY ARE ALARMING. AND SO, SOMEONE IN THE WRITER’S ROOM WAS THINKING ABOUT THIS WHEN THEY WERE OUTLINING THE STORY - UNDERSTANDING THAT THERE’S AN UNDERCURRENT IN XENA’S & GABRIELLE’S RELATIONSHIP THAT WOULD MAKE SEEING XENA WITH ANTONY UNCOMFORTABLE, BUT THEN NOT ALSO RECOGNIZING THAT THAT SAME UNDERCURRENT WOULD MAKE IT EQUALLY UNCOMFORTABLE FOR XENA. AND IT’S JUST LIKE: TEAM, WHY DO YOU HAVE TO DO THAT TO GABRIELLE? HER HEART MUST HAVE BEEN IN A TERRIBLE STATE. AND WHY DID YOU HAVE TO MAKE XENA COMPLICIT IN THIS?)

But, seriously, I’ve spent all this time diving deep into this episode and the ways it comes up short and why, and while I’ve alluded to it, I’ve mostly avoided the elephant in the room.

We need to talk about Gabrielle.

Because: Gabrielle is at the heart of why a romance between Xena and Marc Antony feels contrived and unconvincing. At this point in the show, it’s clear Xena & Gabrielle are fully and completely committed to each other (and, yes, I know that doesn’t necessarily preclude either of them from also seeking romantic or sexual partners elsewhere... I just don’t think they’re the sharing types, but I DIGRESS) - I mean, we *just* had ‘Kindred Spirits’ where they were nesting and talking about domestic bliss and privately teasing each other about their sex life in the most blatant way possible and failing miserably at breaking up but winning at being cute and married and adoringly in love. And I think it’s important to acknowledge the weight of Xena’s decision to very clearly have Gabrielle as her *life* partner - because implicit in the act of choosing to commit yourself to another person is a vow of fidelity, a bond that would be near-holy to Xena, whose word means everything.

But more to the point: Xena loves Gabrielle and Gabrielle loves Xena, and their love has been the beating heart of this show from the beginning. Gabrielle’s care and tenderness has been transformative - everything that Xena has come to understand about love, everything that she does to honour and protect it, is because of Gabrielle and the heart she’s so selflessly given of. And it’s this love story - and how the show has framed its slow and beautiful unravelling - that becomes the bench mark, the gold standard, for how all other love stories in this universe should be viewed, for how Xena, herself, now views love.

So, I guess what I’ve been saying all along is this: Xena can’t possibly be falling in love with Marc Antony because she’s already in love. Deeply, profoundly, bound-for-all-eternity in love. And no one, in this life (or any other, let’s be real) will ever compare. Not pretty boys with pretty words and pretty promises. Not Bad Boys Who Love Like Fools. Not even a god himself. There is only Gabrielle.

#xena #xena warrior princess #xwp #otp: for i am dying of such love #xena and gabrielle #S05E18: Antony + Cleopatra #pattie has some thoughts #the fucking audacity #i still cannot even

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drinkthehalo · 5 years ago

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Macro perspective on each Lymond book

I've been listening to the Lymond Chronicles audiobooks, which has given me a different perspective than reading them. With audiobooks, you’re less inclined to stop and dive into the details, to look up an interesting word or obscure historical fact; instead you get swept along with the larger arc of the book.

So, I thought it would be interesting to look at what each book is about from a macro perspective.

Spoilers for the entire series follow.

The Game of Kings

In genre, it's a mystery told in a historical adventure style; it asks the question "Who is Lymond?" and gives us a ton of contradictory clues, then finally reveals the truth - in a psychological sense by stripping away Lymond's defense mechanisms and revealing the human being underneath, as he breaks down in the dell, "the guard was down... every fluent line and practised shade of Lymond's face betrayed him explicitly"; and in a narrative sense via the trial, which examines each "clue" we received throughout the story and tells us what it really meant.

Thematically, it's mainly about "serving honesty in a crooked way" - that morality isn’t simple and that sometimes you need to break the rules to do the right thing. Nearly all Lymond’s acts are apparently bad things done for a goal that is actually good. We see the theme also in Will Scott (who learns that the world is more complicated than the "moral philosophy" he learned in school) and the various characters who help Lymond, breaking the rules of society by aiding a wanted outlaw (Christian, Sybilla, the Somerviles).

It is also about the balance of looking out for self vs the obligation to the greater society - Lymond is not completely selfless (after all, he is back in Scotland to clear his own name), but when forced to choose, he always chooses the greater good above his own goals. He is contrasted with Richard, whose great mistake is to put his obligations to Scotland at risk in pursuit of his personal vengeance, and Margaret Lennox, who is purely and grotesquely out only for herself.

The historical context is part of this theme, as we see the various border families playing both sides between England and Scotland, with the heroes being those who ultimately stand up for Scotland, even as we understand that some have no choice but to profess one thing while doing another.

Queens Play

In genre, it's a spy novel; thematically, it's about what Lymond will do with the rest of his life. The question is asked explicitly several times (most obviously, "You have all your life still before you." / "The popular question is, for what?") It's important that Lymond loses his title at the start of this book; he has to figure out who he will be without it.

The main characters all represent possible paths Lymond could take -

O'Liam Roe, who sits back and laughs at the world with detachment, while abdicating all responsibility to use his mind and position to change the world for the better.

Robin Stewart, who loses himself in bitterness about the ways the world has been unfair to him, and in fixating on how he deserved better, fails to take any action to improve himself.

Oonagh, who works passionately to change the world for the better, but whose ideals have become corrupted because she has attached herself to a leader who is more out for himself than for their cause.

And of course Thady Boy and Vervassal, two extremes of himself that Lymond tries on, and (by the end of the series) must learn to reconcile.

The recurring imagery of the first half is the carnival, the masks, the music, the parties, and our hero in danger of losing himself amidst the debauchery. In the second half the imagery every time Lymond appears is of ice, the ultra-controlled, hyper-competent version of Lymond at risk of losing himself by denying his artistic soul. (There’s a wonderful essay here that explores these motifs.)

In the end, Lymond comes to the conclusion that he must not withdraw into detachment or bitterness, that he must find a way to make a positive difference in the world, but that he also must not attach himself to a powerful figure who may be more out for themselves than for Scotland (ie, his refusal to attach himself to Marie de Guise). This sets up the creation of his mercenary army in the next books, as a way he can exercise independent influence in the world.

The Disorderly Knights

This book couldn't be more relevant to the world today. It's a portrait of cynical hypocrisy in pursuit of power; it lays out step by step the tactics of propaganda and manipulation used by despots to build up themselves and tear down their rivals: pretend to be pious, accuse of others of your own crimes, tear down straw men instead of engaging in real debate. It tells us to "look at his hands"; what matters is what a leader actually does, not what he professes to believe.

It shows us how leaders use charisma to manipulate, and, in showing the battle between Gabriel and Lymond for Jerott's loyalty, shows how Lymond takes the harder and more ethical path, by refusing to use his charisma to seduce (a lesson learned from his experience with Robin Stewart) and instead guiding Jerott to come to his own conclusions by means of rational thought instead of hero worship.

At every level the novel advocates for tolerance and internationalism, and against petty sectarianism, as Lymond questions whether the Knights of St John are really any better than the Turks, and as he tries to get the Scottish border families to abandon their feuds in favor of the greater good of the country.

In terms of genre, it’s a pure adventure novel. I never get bored of the masterful action sequences with the battles in Malta and Tripoli, and the extraordinary duel at St Giles in the end. (Also in terms of thematic imagery, there is some crazy S&M shit going on in this book, with Gabriel and Joleta's sadism and Lymond's self-sacrificial masochism.)

I love Disorderly Knights so much. It is nearly perfect - well structured, thematically coherent, witty, fun, breathtaking, and heartbreaking.

Pawn in Frankincense

In genre, this is a quest novel. In several places it explicitly parallels The Odyssey.

In theme, it explores -

Do the ends justify the means? How much sacrifice is too much? Lymond gives up his fortune, his body, and his health; Philippa gives up her freedom and her future; we are asked often consider, which goal is more important, stopping Gabriel or saving the child? We even see this theme in Marthe's subplot, as she gives up the treasure, her dream to "be a person," to save her companions. Perhaps the most telling moment is right after Lymond kills Gabriel; despite all his claims that Gabriel’s death mattered more than the fate of the child, he’s already forgotten it, instead playing over and over in his mind the death of Khaireddin. If you do what is intellectually right but it destroys your soul, was it really right?

The other big theme is “nature vs nurture.” What is the impact of upbringing on how people turn out? In its comparisons of Kuzum vs Khaireddin, and Lymond vs Marthe, it seems to fall firmly on the side of nurture.

It’s also a kaleidoscope of views on love, with its Pilgrims of Love and their poetry, and the contrasting images of selfless, sacrificial love (Philippa and Evangelista for Kuzum, Salablanca for Lymond, Lymond for Khaireddin, perhaps Marthe for Lymond as she helps him in the end) with possessive, needy “love” (Marthe for Guzel, Jerott for Marthe or Lymond, arguably even the Aga for Lymond).

This novel is also a tragedy. Its imagery and the historical background complement the themes by creating an atmosphere lush, beautiful, labyrinthine, overwhelming, and suffocating.

The Ringed Castle

I have to confess this is my least favorite, in large part because I find the historical sequences (in Russia and in Mary Tudor's court in England) go on way too long and have only tangential relationships to the themes and characters.

It seems to be primarily about self-delusion as a response to trauma. Lymond spends the entire novel trying to be someone he isn't, in a place he doesn't belong, because he is too damaged to face reality. (His physical blindness as a manifestation of his psychological blindness; the sequences at John Dee's, surrounded by mirrors, forcing him to see himself.)

Lymond convinces himself he can build a wall around his heart to block out all human connection, that he can be a “machine,” but despite his best efforts, he cares for Adam Blacklock and develops a true friendship with Diccon Chancellor. And of course, by far the most important moment is after the Hall of Revels, when Lymond's heart unfreezes and he suddenly sees one thing VERY clearly. (And then tries, desperately, to escape it.)

The only reason I can think of that the book lingers so long on Mary Tudor (so boring omg) is the parallel with Lymond, her false pregnancies as a manifestation of her desire to see the world as she wants it to be, and her failure to see reality as it is. Ivan of Russia also is a parallel: delusional, unable to trust, and dangerous. Their failures, and the failure of Lymond's Russia adventure and relationship with Guzel, tell us that you cannot hide from reality forever.

The book spends so long painting the backdrop of 16th century Russia that it makes me think that Dunnett got too caught up in her research and needed a stronger editor, although there is also a parallel with Lymond in the idea of Russia as a traumatized nation struggling to establish itself, and of course, Lymond subsuming his need to deal with his own issues into a goal of building a nation.

It's also about exploration, about the intellectual wonder of discovering that there is more to the world, as we learn about Diccon Chancellor and the Muscovy Company. It’s wonderful imagery, but I struggle to how this fits coherently into the overall theme of the novel, and am curious how others reconcile it.

I like the idea of this book more than the reality. If you’re going to do to your hero what Dunnett did to Lymond in “Pawn,” there has to be consequences. But hundreds of pages of our hero in such a frozen state is difficult to read.

That said, the Hall of Revels is one of the best things in the series, and I’ll always love this book for that.

Checkmate

Checkmate is about reconciliation of self and recovery from trauma, as Lymond is forced (kicking and screaming) to accept who is and what he's done, and to allow himself to love and be loved. Philippa is his guide, as she discovers the secrets of his birth, understands his childhood, hears his tales of all the terrible things he's done, and loves him anyway. As far as genre, this is definitely a romance.

There are villains in this book (Leonard Bailey, Margaret Lennox, Austin Grey) but they're all fairly weak; the true antagonist is Lymond himself. From the beginning, he could have everything he needs to be happy (he's married to the woman he loves, and she loves him back!); his true struggle is to stop running from it (by escaping to Russia or committing suicide) and to break through his own psychological barriers enough to allow himself to accept it.

The primary parallel is with Jerott and Marthe, who also have happiness almost in their grasp, but never manage to achieve it.

The heritage plot looms large and is (IMO) tedious; it's so melodramatic that it takes some mental gymnastics to get it to make thematic sense to me. It ultimately comes down to Lymond's identity crisis and childhood trauma. His “father” rejected and abused him, so he based his identity on his relationship to his mother, but his suspicion that he is a bastard means he lives in terror that he doesn’t really belong in his family and that, if his mother isn’t perfect, he is rotten. (I love him but, my god, it is juvenile. The only way I can reconcile it is that his fear about the circumstances of his birth is really just a stand-in for his self-hatred caused by his traumas.) He also continues to struggle with his envy that Richard was born into a position with power and influence that Lymond has spent the past six books struggling to obtain, and that Lymond’s terrible traumas (starting with the galleys) would not have happened if he had been the heir. The discovery that he actually IS the legitimate heir is what finally snaps him out of it, since his reaction is to want to protect Richard, and this also reconciles him to Sybilla since protecting Richard was her goal too.

There are some other parts of this book that I struggle to reconcile (Lymond's inability to live if he can't have sex with Philippa; the way the focus on heritage seems to undercut the nature vs nurture themes; that no one but Jerott is bothered by Marthe's death, which undercuts some of the most moving moments in "Pawn”; and I mostly just pretend the predestination and telepathy stuff didn’t happen). On the other hand, I do sort of love the way this book wholeheartedly embraces the idea that there is no human being on earth who will ever be as melodramatic as Francis Crawford.

In terms of the historical elements, in addition to providing the narrative grounding for the character stuff to play out, it sets up the idea that Scotland has troubles coming up (the religious wars, the betrayal of the de Guises) and that Lymond needs to go home, let go of France and Russia, and focus on Scotland where he belongs. I’m sure there is also some political nuance in the fact that our Scottish hero, after spending so much time and energy in France, ends up with an English wife.

The conclusion in the music room is perfect - it brings us back to the amnesiac Lymond who innocently played music with Christian Stewart, to Thady Boy whose songs made the cynical French court weep, and fills the “void” Lymond described to Jerott where there was no prospect of music. The aspects of himself are finally reconciled and he has a partner to share his life with.

I am curious what others see as the macro / thematic big picture meanings of these books. :) And if anyone can find the key to make “Ringed Castle” and “Checkmate” make more sense to me...

#lymond #the lymond chronicles

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justanotherpersonsuniverse · 4 years ago

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The Sacrifice of Lila Rossi

Cyberpunk Mafia AU:

The small Medbay of The Garden had always been cramped, but ruthlessly organized to be the most efficient center for treatment in the city. Max, despite being someone that cared vary little for the acclaim and praise of others found joy in knowing that if he was known for anything, it was how well he could help people, especially since he was so often without the best methods to tackle a problem. He’ll often claim that when there are a thousand and one ways to use a paperclip, he could do the impossible with whatever he had on hand, he just wishes the universe didn’t actively try to test that theory…

In a rush a panic the crew of The Garden wheeled in a stasis pod, the contents of which was one Aurore frozen in a single moment within the chamber. Her eyes were wide in a mixture of fear and panic, several small burns littered her skin, a sign of far too many close calls at the wrong end of a plasma rifle, but the most prominent injury was the practical crater where her heart should have been the deep red of blood already overpowered the light blues of her usual attire well before she could make it into stasis.

“Alright I need a full report of the incident, no detail is too small.” Max rattled off to the panicked crew, already descending into his cocoon of holoscreens, processing information far faster than any normal human could. “Markov, activate ALL emergency protocols, I want to be prepared for the slightest hiccup.”

“Affirmative” a monotone synthetic voice rang out in the laboratory as several pieces of advanced equipment sprang to life.

“Please Doctor, you have to help her.” Sabrina begged as she refused to leave the side of pod. “I can’t just get my emotions back just to hurt like this. Please…”

“It’ll be ok Sabrina. Max is the best at what he does. Just let him do his thing” replied Rose who gently guided her away from the pod and into the arms of Chloe who hugged the girl with everything she could. “Alya, if you want your friend to get better, I suggest you answer his questions.”

“R-right” said Alya, snapping her attention from the pod, her whole body still shaking. “It was a mark III plasma rifle, like a really modified, really illegal model. We were so close to getting tangible proof that Argeste Industries was running corrupt experiments for the Mayor, we could finally put an end to the missing person posters… but there was this huge gorilla looking dude that attacked us. He looked like he was being mind controlled since his eyes were blank. He decked me and sent me flying into a wall. He was about to blast me point blank when Aurore blocked the shot with her umbrella. The blast tore right through it and got her in the heart. Thankfully, the broken umbrella made some kind of flashbang so I used a stasis capsule to try and stop the bleeding and got us here as fast as I could. She… She saved my life…” she took a moment to compose herself, trying to ground herself in the present. “I… I have the footage. Here.” Placing her palm on a terminal, a copy of the footage began playing on one of Max’s screens.

“Looks like you’ve found Gordan Rillan,” said Max. “He was a dock worker that used to work at the pier before the mayor allowed a competitor to take the whole thing over and put Gordan in serious debt. Argeste industries offered him a position and then he was reported missing shortly after. Scans seem to show he’s suffered an even more advanced version of whatever the hell they did to Kim… As for the blaster well, its partially radioactive and goes against several international laws. Her heart can’t be salvaged. The stasis prevented the spread of radiation but… there’s no fixing this without an outright replacement.”

“Please there has to be something!” Sabrina begged. What if I gave her my heart, I can survive being shut down for a while and we can fix me up later.”

“Unfortunately, since she doesn’t have a single interface, I can’t implant an artificial replacement. By the time I’ve put in the tech needed for a mechanical heart to work she’d already be gone. Unless we manage to find an organic option, and soon, I can’t do more than this and the stasis won’t hold forever.”

“Max.” everyone’s attention was brought to the main terminal which was glowing a bright pinkish orange, Lila’s true avatar on the screen. “What about project phoenix. I looked at the stats. They’re a match.”

“Lila… you do realize what you’re asking right?” Max asked, concern heavy in his voice.

“I do.”

“Alright…” inputting a few commands from his chair, a storage compartment opened up revealing a similar pod, only this one housed the same girl on the screen.

“Is that-” Alya began but couldn’t bring herself to finish.

“Yeah, it is.” Lila replied as she seemed to stare sadly at her own corpse. “when Gabriel, did what he did… he sold my body on the black market. Me and Max managed to find it before it was cut up, but the damage to the brain was too much. Max has been trying to hide that bit of info from me, maybe even try to lie to himself, but I already know the truth. I’m not coming back, at least not this way.” Her attention drifted to Sabrina who was beginning to understand the implications of what was about to happen. “The old me, the one long dead in that pod, she never once went out of her way for someone else, she never really could. She spent every day living by lying through her teeth. Other people were either targets or threats.”

“Sounds like a pretty lonely way to live…” commented Rose with sad compassion, remembering some of the patrons she couldn’t manage to save over the years.

“It was” replied Lila, a hollow chuckle punctuating her point. “It wasn’t until I ‘died’ that I finally found out that sometimes… people aren’t so bad. I somehow got myself a little brother in desperate need of my street smarts, but with a heart of absolute gold, and a Mom in desperate need of a vacation, but who actually looks at me, the absolute mess of a girl, and saw a daughter she actually said she was proud of… Heck if Clara keeps it up I might even have a second mom in the works.” There were some distortions to her avatar and you could swear they looked like tears. “and now that I know what it feels like to care about someone, I’m not about to let you lose the one you care about. Besides, we still need ‘Chameleon’ right now if we’re going to set things right after this.”

“Thank you so much Lila,” Sabrina replied, she reached a hand out to the terminal and her hand glowed ever so slightly the same color. It wasn’t a perfect touch, but Lila could feel the hand all the same, and Sabrina could the slightest sensation of someone grasping it.

“Lila,” Max caught her attention, “the promise still stands, I WILL bring you back one day.”

“I know you will Max. I’ll be looking forward to it. But for now we have a life to save, and the girl I once was deserves to do at least one good deed before she’s retired.” ———

Oh shit-

Well- damn Lila

Now that’s a fucking redemption arc holy shit

Thank you. That was fucking amazing.

I feel so bad for Aurore- what a trooper though- bitch got her heart exploded and she’s fucking fine

God dang

Poor Lila too—Holy shit I made her suffer in this au. Chameleon baby needs a break. Her accidentally becoming Adrien’s sister is really cute. I’m proud of her development, I hope I give her a happy ending.

Max and Lila being bro’s is lovely and fun. They’re too smart for their own good. This was amazing, thank you so much for this, I’m glad you guys like this au, I know I do.

#Mafia au #writing #lila redemption #lila rossi #ether-solrac #submission

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familyagrestefanblog · 5 years ago

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Gabriels redeemability

People are debating if Gabriel deserves a redemption or not and quite frankly even if you put aside the whole horrible but complex Adrien aspect

Gabriel is still responsible for Fu having to sacrifice 170+ years of memories of his life!

For (most of) his previous crimes one could theoretically make the argument that "Ladybug always puts everything back to normal so no one ever came to harm" even if I don't support this argument myself at all

But this. THIS. Is unrepairable!

Fu and everything he was is GONE now

And this is on HAWKMOTH and not on Chloe or anyone else beside Mayura maybe

And you know what? Let's not stop there

The whole Chloe situation now? To 100% on Gabriel (and Natalie)!

Chloe was on her way of improvement, slowly but she indeed was getting somewhere. Even if she lacked the patience and willingness for remorse and change for truly redeeming herself, she still hold onto hope and stood on a path of possible redemption.

Her downfall into villainy in "Miracle Queen" though, where Hawkmoth himself even declares her "one of them" now?

Is 100% on Gabriel (and Natalie)

He set up a trap to get her feel so disappointed and betrayed by Ladybug so he could manipulate her into joining his cause. Gabriel purposely took the hope and the good in Chloe, twisted it with his words and actions and lead her down the path of actual villainy.

Yes Chloe decided to join him, no one is ever truly choiceless, but never forget that it still was GABRIEL, AN ADULT, who purposely put A KID into such a crushing situation and mindset that Chloe thinks her behavior and revenge is justified

Just to afterwards let Chloe fall again and abandon her in the broken pieces of the situation and consequences HE caused!

Chloes is a child who could have redeemed herself in time but GABRIEL ruined her for his own selfish gain with a smile on his face

But you what? There is more! What about Natalie and her fall into villainy?

Don't get me wrong Im the last person who will pretend like Natalie is not making her own choices here. She chose to help him as Catalyst on her own, use the broken peacock miraculous to turn into Mayura to help him by her own choice and even when he told her this will stop now in "Ladybug" because shes outright DYING she went behind his back and did it anyway for him.

Natalie is a grown woman and not a child like our heros, I will refuse to not hold her accountable for her own actions and choices. Mostly because not acknowledging her capability of thinking for herself and what she does gives her like zero credit as the awesome and ruthless villain she became and will turn into.

But still, remember.

Who opened this path to villainy in the first place? Who asked her to become his partner in crime even without her having her own powers and plans in the beginning? Who gave her the opportunity of going down this path in the first place?

It's Gabriel. Straight and simple

Not only that but he also let her continue to use the peacock miraculous on multiple occasions even though it's breaking her body just like Emilies! Gabriel indeed cares alot about her but he's so incredibly toxic to her health and moral state.

GABRIEL is the root of Natalies fall into villainy and her entire health situation which totally still can go one in season 4. Just because the peacock got fixed doesn't it mean NATALIE is healed too, people are for some reason just assuming that now but we saw nothing implying Natalie getting better.

Those are now just three examples, I could make another point with Lila for example but I think you get it.

People are debating if Gabriel deserves a redemption because his behavior and actions towards Adrien is written in a very respectfully complex manner appropriate to the situation these two are in. But if you GO BEYOND the questions if he still can be redeemed even after what he does to his son and why and look WHAT ELSE Gabriel has done

In my opinion you'll see really damn fast

This man is beyond any chance of redemption and can rot in jail for the rest of his days, away from everybody so he can't hurt and corrupt anyone anymore

There is alot a person can come back from. Problematic behavior, bad attitude and even hurting people. That's what a redemption Arc is about. But sometimes the harm you have done and your actions come with such grave consequences that you simply crossed the line and that's it

And for Gabriel? That's it.

#Miraculous #Miraculous ladybug #Ml spoilers #Ml Loveater #ml heart hunter #Ml miracle queen #Miracle Queen spoilers #Gabriel agreste redemption #Hawkmoth redemption #Yeah nah fuck that #chloe bourgeois #natalie sancoeur #Mayura #Gabriel agreste is beyond redemption because he crossed to may lines and caused unrepairable damage #Sometimes you have to let a selfish and sadistic bastard fall into the consequences of his actions #And let him there #Sometimes people just go to far and need to face the consequences of their toxic behavior and actions with no way to come back from that #Because sometimes #That's now it is

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timingmatters · 4 years ago

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Finished the order!!!! Was rooting for Alyssa to die since like ep 7 so im okay with the outcome lmao. And Kepler died too!!!!!! Vera and Hamish ended up together and so did the gays. They felt like a token bc they were barely there, but with the demon storyline i hope that means they’ll have a lot more screen time with a third season.

Hamish and Vera felt like fuck buddies, but towards the end he made her know he cared for her and her grabbing his hand on their last shot also made ir seemed she cares for him. I hope their relationship gets deeper next season.

Hamish and Randall didn’t solve their arc. Would make more sense to drag it to next season of they hadn’t discuss it with the truth potion, but they did yet it seemed like a half ass solution. Which drags me to my next point, Randall keeps thinking there’s different sides. This isn’t kindergarten lmao, it is historically known (and they lade a thing of discovering on s2 but.... they had discovered on s1 when they first read the books so writers fucked up there) that the Knights used to work alongside the order. So Randall should learn to work as a team lmao. And like they mentioned (which is.... dumb i feel like this is a statement true about most establishments why did it take them so long to think that lmao) the order itself is not bad, they just have had corrupted leaders. The knights can and should work alongside them to keep them in line. Randall needs to understand that. Also, people keep doubting Vera and she has proved over and over and over again since s1 that she wants the best for everyone. Even the memory thing was supposed to be only until she learned how to get them inside the order. She didn’t trust them because they don’t trust her. Working with them she can solve shit, so really her and Hamish being a power couple and communicating from both sides actually.... would do wonders for everyone lmao.

Alyssa’s arcs have always been about her being manipulated by others since s1. Im surprised no one ever thought the danger of everyone having magic. They kept repeating the danger of making a mistake, or how without sacrifices it gives u basically cancer (which.... pretty good point not to fucking do it). But no one ever talked about.... magic is a weapon not everyone should have access to?? For such a philosophical show they never even touched on this. It was always the danger on how to do it. But absolutely not everyone should have magic. It isn’t and even field for everyone, people would use it as a weapon. When everyone has access to a weapon, shit goes down (look at the US lmao). Rapists would use the magic to rape, serial killers to kill, more people would prob be inclined to physically harm others bc they would feel more empowered, etc. It shouldn’t be just an elite thing, and the order has its corruption issues, but everyone having access to magic is like blindly giving everyone an automatic gun and telling them to have fun with it. Fucking terrible idea. Look at crazy Ellie killing eveeyone and animals as an experiment and revenge just as one example. So yes, Alyssa is supposed to be the smart leading female character but all she does is bend her morals towards whoever tries to manipulate her. Whether it was Edward, Orin (whatever the cult juice dude’s name was), or Salvador. If you offer her something she might like, she is done for. She would be a fucking awful magus. She kinda is like Edward in that regard lmao.

Gabrielle didn’t fullt get a redemption arc. I like her character now, and she has so much potential, the writers tried harder with her than with Alyssa. We know more about her past and the traumas that made her the way she is, and we saw her doing better decisions now, and now she has formed bonds with other characters (like Randall). However, they didn’t addressed how power hungry she was last season and how she harmed others. She now cares about not harming and not killing innocents, but she didn’t in s1 at all. I would like next season to at least addressed that and for her to show remorse for that. Also free her ex trapped on a doll.

Nicole has so much potential i hope they do better by her, and by making Gabrielle acknowledge her harmful past, she and Randall could make a great couple too.

Vera and Hamish ARE already a great couple with great chemistry and i really hope they connect more next season and we get more scenes. People also need to start trusting Vera more, specially Randall, every season she proves to them how good of a person she is and she keeps being mistrusted. She won’t trust them unless they trust her, and they have more reasons to trust her than she has to trust them (they have almost caused apocalypse several times now by doing shit without thinking it first).

Jack is impulsive and annoying always, but the last ep he made good choices. Hope he keeps that up and doesn’t go back to revenge bc of Alyssa, that would be recycling his arc AGAIN and throwing away his character growth AGAIN.

If the writers give more screen time to these other characters: Hamish, Vera, Randall, Gabrielle, Nicole, and Lilith. And less focus on Jack and Alyssa just... being impulsive, the show would be a lot better. I hope they do get a third season and make it more of a big main cast show, and less of a Jack/Alyssa focus, bc those characters aren’t the ones carrying the show on their backs. And honestly their storyline feels repetitive and has tired me out lmao. There’s a lot of good shit from Hamish and Vera getting together with Vera not having magic, Randall learning to be okay with that and the order, Gabrielle learning from her past and been better, Randall and Gabrielle becoming a couple, Nicole and Lilith solving their issues, and getting Lilith to be not-demon again. A loooot of good plot points that could be major that don’t have to involve Jack or Alyssa as the main points.

#the order netflix

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miraculouscontent · 6 years ago

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Previews fill me with trepidation brrr but I keep wondering how would you handle an akumatized Marinette or Adrien (or their hero forms) arc? What might be able to push them over the edge? How would MC Kwami take it? Do you have any headcanons or favorite fandom akuma forms for akuMarinette? How would MC akumAdrien be other than Chat Blanc?

Whoa! A lot of questions there, haha.

I keep wondering how would you handle an akumatized Marinette or Adrien (or their hero forms) arc? What might be able to push them over the edge?

[Canon Marinette]

The akumatization of normal Marinette would be a very slow process. It would be an arc where things in episodes would feel�� off, but it would be hard to pinpoint exactly why.

Maybe Marinette’s friends don’t hang out with her as much, but there’s so much other stuff going on that it’s hard to notice.

Maybe Adrien continues to insist that Marinette is his friend while not actually trying to spend time with her, but he’s got such a tight schedule that it’s more easily shrugged off.

Maybe people start having Marinette stand up to people like Chloe all by herself, but Marinette is so good at it that it’s easy to presume that everyone knew that no one could do it better than Marinette.

At some point, we’d have a version of “Chameleon”, but where Lila had taken time and care to manipulate the class. Lila had shown up more frequently beforehand and was confirmed to have everyone’s phone number.

Lila knows that Marinette can’t be trusted. Lila is aware that Marinette knows that she’s full of it. She’s seen people like Marinette before and knows that there’s only one way to get rid of them; sabotaging their reputation.

Lila is careful and calculated, asking the classmates if she’d “done something wrong” to make Marinette dislike her. The class has no proof, but Lila has a lot of stories that she tries to back up using previous episodes and stories that people have told her.

And the classmates believe her, not because they like Lila more than Marinette, but because Marinette was so easy to not pay attention to. They don’t scowl or huff at Marinette, but Lila tends to call them away and make Marinette feel like something’s wrong.

The conflict would build up to the students having taken advantage of Marinette. They’re not bad people, but they saw Marinette as a happy-go-lucky girl who couldn’t say “no.” Some people were always on edge, fearing someone’s akumatization, but Marinette never seemed like someone who could be akumatized.

It was just easy to take advantage of her without meaning to. No one ever noticed that they did it because Marinette did everything she could to keep a level head and work things out. She was the mediator, the strategist, and so many other things that she just seemed incorruptible.

Besides, it’s not like Marinette’s around a lot. Marinette is always so late; they think, surely Marinette just doesn’t care. Surely Marinette just prioritizes everything evenly and doesn’t pay extra attention to people she likes.

It’s not like Marinette could have problems in her life. Her parents are “perfect” and her friends are just “so supportive all the time.” How could Marinette ever have issues?

Marinette being sent to the back was just one more example of the class seeing Marinette as someone without emotions. She was their guide and their creator, but an everyday Ladybug is apparently someone who’s never supposed to think of herself.

The loneliness would get to her. The lack of support would get to her. Lila threatening Marinette held weight and meaning because Marinette knew.

She knew right then how her friends saw her, and she was going to make every one of them realize that she’s an actual person. She was going to make everyone understand that she’s not perfect in their own twisted way and that they can’t shunt her aside just because that’s easier than putting in the effort to support her.

And as Miss Bustier begins her next class, she starts calling on students to ask them questions. Idly (and after far too long), she notices that Marinette isn’t there.

“Where’s Marinette?” she’d ask, more confused than anything else. Marinette was always absent. Surely, she’s just being forgetful, distracted, and clumsy again.

The classmates all look around. None of them had noticed that Marinette was missing.

They think, it’s not like they didn’t care that she wasn’t there! It wasn’t like they were so enamored with Lila that Marinette became meaningless. It’s Marinette’s fault. She’s always so quiet and meek (she’s not); how could anyone notice her missing?

Then, the door flies open. Papers scatter. The windows break from an unknown force.

Students nearly bolt out of their seats as they all feel a strong chill run up their spines.

There, in the doorway, stands the akumatized form of the one person no one ever thought could be corrupted: Marinette. Her eyes are wide, bright, yet somehow empty and completely devoid of emotion.

Staring ahead at nothing yet simultaneously making everyone feel stared at, Marinette speaks in monotone.

“I’m right here.”

[MC Marinette]

In the MC canon, Marinette is actually incorruptible. She doesn’t have horrific luck like the canon Marinette does and either she or someone else solves her big problems. Lila might be able to make her a bit miserable, but MC Marinette would never experience anything emotionally-destabilizing enough to warrant an akuma.

[Canon Adrien]

I’d make Adrien an akuma to teach him some sort of lesson.

The akumatization itself would probably involve Gabriel becoming desperate. He would be willing to do anything to get the miraculouses at this point.

Even if it means akumatizing his own son. After all, Adrien seems enamored with Ladybug and Gabriel figures that he or Nathalie might be able to manipulate that into something useful.

And Adrien is easy to manipulate, given how entitled he can act and how insistent he is on pursuing Ladybug romantically when she has no interest in him.

Post-deakumatization, he’d realize the disaster he almost caused (he thankfully didn’t give away his identity as Chat, convinced it would give him some sort of advantage) and would go to Ladybug as Chat to pretend like he merely had an epiphany on the matter. He’d acknowledge that he never meant for his attraction to go so far that it made her uncomfortable.

He would be vulnerable enough to properly absorb it this time when Ladybug stresses that she doesn’t want to date him (nor anyone else, for that matter) in her superhero form. It’s way too risky and Chat isn’t helping with his constant advances.

Even if Chat wants to argue, he knows he has no ground to stand on, so he agrees.

How would MC akumAdrien be other than Chat Blanc?

[MC Adrien/Chat]

I was never a fan of just making the superhero akumatizations nothing but them being inverted. I’d probably go for a combination of them being a “monster” form of whatever their miraculous represents (so, a monstrous cat for a cat miraculous user) and a trait of the person behind the mask, like Adrien’s want to not be hounded by fans and slink into the background, for example (giving him the ability to blend into shadows).

As for how it’d happen…

Chat wasn’t sure how far he’d run. He wasn’t sure when he’d started to.

All he knew was that he was following the white peacock feather wherever it was going to go. Every footstep reminded him of his mission: finding Hawk Moth. Following the feather was the best lead he’d ever had.

As the peacock floated through darkness, Chat finally realized that he was in a long dark hallway. Where was this? Was this in the mansion?

He pulled out his baton, dialing Ladybug.

No answer. While trying to keep an eye on the feather, Chat spoke “Ladybug, quick! I have a lead on the peacock, you have to–”

A light came on right as the feather passed by it. It continued flying down the hall, its pattern irregular but seeming to have a purpose.

Chat hesitantly put his baton back and walked after the feather.

Each light flicked on one-by-one as Chat continued. He was tense, ready for a supervillain to surprise him at any time.

Yet, as he stepped into the last area of darkness, his foot hit something and the light near it came on, revealing an even worse surprise.

As the peacock feather floated down to rest on the glass casing of a coffin, he saw his mother lying inside.

Chat inhaled sharply. He stumbled back, eyes widening as he stared down into the coffin.

He forgot his current state as Chat. “M-mom?” he called.

He rushed forward, banging on the casing. The feather was jostled around, but remained resting on the coffin. “Mom! Mom, are you okay? Please be okay! Answer me!”

A voice echoed through the halls, but it wasn’t the one Chat wanted. “Your mother has been in this state for quite a time, Adrien. She’s not going to answer you.”

The feather suddenly floated away, as if hit by a small gust of wind, while Chat jerked his head toward the voice.

There, standing a good distance away, was a tall, slender woman. Her long flowing blue dress almost touched the ground, but Chat noticed hints of purple. She had two weapons: a cane and a fan.

Two miraculouses? She had two of them?

Chat finally registered what she’d called him: Adrien. He looked down at himself, then remembered that he’d called Emilie “Mom”.

There was no turning back. He’d just have to take the woman’s miraculouses while he waited for Ladybug.

“Y-you!” Chat pulled out his baton, standing in front of his mother protectively. “Who are you and what did you do to my mother?”

“I’m your savior,” she spoke calmly. “And I didn’t do anything. It’s your father who’s to blame.”

“Liar!” Chat yelled.

He watched as the woman moved her fan out of the way, making Chat now able to see the peacock and butterfly brooches lined up along the center of her chest.

“I took these from him,” she said without apology. “You didn’t think it was odd that he had a book of miraculouses?”

Chat went to yell again, but the words died before he could use them.

It was odd. Of course it was odd. He thought that, but…

No…

“No!” Chat shook his head. “I don’t believe you!”

He stood there stiffly, warily, waiting for the woman to make a move.

She chuckled darkly. “You’re wondering if I only just now learned your identity. I assure you, I’ve known for a while.”

Chat hesitated, but his curiosity got the best of him. He tried to sound menacing, but his body was shaking and his voice wavered with it. “W-why didn’t you just take my ring then?”

“Because you’re useful to me,” she replied without hesitation.

As the feather returned to her, she placed it back in her fan, the cane remaining standing next to her. She raised a hand, a white butterfly coming down to rest on her palm.

Chat’s eyes widened as he watched her close her hand around the butterfly. A dark aura surrounded her hand, revealing an akuma in the butterfly’s place.

He knew who it was for.

“Y-you’ll never akumatize me!” Chat told her. “I’d never betray Ladybug!”

“You don’t have a choice.” The woman gestured behind Chat. “If you want your mother to wake up again, you’ll need to make a wish with yours and Ladybug’s miraculouses.”

For a split second, he’d considered it. “I–I’d never…I–”

Chat stared down at the floor, frustrated and upset at the sheer overload of information. He could feel his emotions getting to him. He could almost sense the akuma staring into him. “N-no. Mother…”

Ladybug. Where was his lady?

The woman held her palm out. “Fly, my akuma.”

Chat jerked his gaze back up, staggering back as the akuma came toward him. He bumped into the coffin and turned to it, seeing his mother still laying there, motionless.

He had to make a decision. It brought tears came to his eyes. “I-I’m sorry, Mom.”

He placed his baton on the ground, extending it to launch himself into the air. He flew right over the akuma, landing on the floor behind the woman as he ran off in an attempt to escape.

The woman watched without concern, the akuma putting up a fair chase. It was only a matter of time before Chat tired himself out.

The woman turned back to Emilie. “I suppose he’s going to need a hand, hm?”

She took the feather from before out of her fan, then allowed it to darken in his grasp. “You’ll want to protect your son, won’t you?”

She leaned forward, blowing her feather off her palm. It flew across the room, then trailed down and slipped through the coffin’s casing. It fluttered down to the rose attached to Emilie’s jacket, turning the rose an ugly black.

The woman smirked.

How would MC Kwami take it?

Post-deakumatization, Plagg would be livid that someone messed with his holder like that. He might even get reckless, insisting that Adrien go hide somewhere while he takes care of the mystery woman himself.

Do you have any headcanons or favorite fandom akuma forms for akuMarinette?

Just general headcanons on an akumatized Marinette?

If I were to theoretically akumatize Ladybug, I would have the akuma be in only one earring (akuma don’t go into more than one object, after all). Ladybug would then have to remove it and simultaneously drop it into her yoyo to cleanse it before fully detransforming.

She’d be a very hard supervillain to face because she’d have to willingly give up her akuma herself since only she can open her yoyo.

I also headcanon that the amount of humanity that seeps through an akumatized person depends on their will. Marinette has such a strong will that she can mentally force Hawk Moth out of her mind if there are things she doesn’t want him to see/hear. She’d try to feel out Hawk Moth to see if she can get a read on his location.

Potentially, she’d try to get Chat’s ring so Hawk Moth will meet up with her and she can double-cross him. She’d block Hawk Moth out of her mind and insist that Adrien secretly follow her so she can give him his ring back once the betrayal happens.

Essentially, akumatized Marinette is OP as heck and Hawk Moth would be an idiot to try and akumatize her.

My favorite akumanettes are the same as everyone else’s basically, but I’m also biased because my friends are very talented and I love their work most.

Zoe’s Little Devil is basically everything I ever wanted in a salty canon divergence. It’s satisfying, creative, beautifully drawn, and was timed perfectly. Zoe is incredible at design and it shows here. She never needs to write long, complex stories because her art speaks for itself and gAH, IT’S SO GOOD.

There’s also Punch’s Manynette. What’s better than one Marinette? Manynette! It’s an enjoyable ride to watch the Manynette go crazy as everyone is just like “????” and honestly, it gets to the point where you almost don’t want Manynette to get de-akumatized. (Ha, imagine that; Hawk Moth just has to give up and all the Manynette become less and less like each other as they develop. Love interests abound!)

Also admittedly a sucker for Pursecutor if for no other reason than I can appreciate a good pun with some quality trash on top.

#category: analysis #MC's Concepts #concept: plotlines #concept: powers #MC's Headcanons #headcanon: assorted #MC's Writing #writing: story #category: long post #word count: over 2000 #MC's Character Revamps #MC: Chat Noir #category: me myself and i #other: ask and answer

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thebestplltheories · 6 years ago

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PLL The Perfectionists - 1x08 Hook, Line and Booker - LIVE thoughts

I decided to do this week’s post live again! Sorry if they’re not in order and if my writing is hard to follow. Again, it was live and I didn’t want to be on my phone the whole time.

Mona calling them bitches... cmon, a bit dramatic and unrealistic, they’re students!

“Thank you Spencer” was cool. A bit forced but I’ll take it!

Damn, they’re casting suspicion on Jeremy quite early. I would’ve loved a plot twist to come out of no where that revealed he killed Nolan. But no, the fact they’re making it an official emphasised storyline means it’s too obvious and therefore not true.

Taylor referred to her mother as Claire instead of ‘mum’. Here we go... secret sibling storyline incoming! Taylor isn’t Claire’s daughter!

Even though I love to hate Booker, I did get sad when she revealed her backstory (about her sister committing suicide because of bullies). That will never not be sad, no matter for who. No one ‘deserves’ that. But lmao because Mona showed no sympathy and went on to shade Booker.

Isn’t it funny that sometimes we become the thing that we hate. THATS A GREAT LINE! Mona can relate from her A days (about bullies) and yet she’s insinuating Booker is a bully too.

“Who killed your kitten?” omg I love Ava’s wit.

Finally more Nolan! That’s what’s been missing since the pilot!

“I’m exactly where I wanna be” ... where have I heard that line before?? Is that a Spoby line? My original PLL brain is slowly deteriorating.

Zac went from hating her to seeing potential to now being super extra keen by waiting for her to go to class and now liking kittens... okay slow down there mate.

And people say Marlene is homophobic... Gabriel literally didn’t even blink when Ali said “ex-wife”.

I love how Ali said “I’m not judging”. That shows she has a kinder heart than me because lmao I was judging. Sorry but that’s weird. You have a wife. Don’t go around dancing and kissing other women.

Anyway, whatever. Each to their own. But I can hear the Emison fans screaming already. I loved this mini story with her and Gabriel. I don’t know if Gabriel will be a recurring character (I’d be fine with that) but they achieved their goal: showing that Alison can still love and that she’s moved on from Emily. They achieved that beautifully with this mini story. No it wasn’t filler! Don’t look at the face value: Alison danced. Yipee. Who cares. Nooooooo. Look at the meaning behind it all!

I KNEW that Dylan staged that conversation with Booker! They already went through a story arc of the Perfectionists fighting/not liking each other. I didn’t think they’ll do that again (which would’ve happened if Dylan legitimately turned them in). I KNEW that there was a mic there, the whole time. I loved it even more when Mona came out of hiding too.

Of course Jeremy has to take his phone outside. This is poorly written. He’s gone from the innocent perfect boyfriend to shady and secretive literally overnight. This should’ve happened progressively.

Earlier I felt a bit disappointed that they’re emphasising Jeremy’s unknown intentions so early. But hey I like it now. That’s such a dramatic way to destroy a computer lol

Im obsessed with Sofia’s laugh! That’s actually a part of Sofia’s personality that the writers are giving to Ava and I love that!

I’m getting major Ali-season-1 vibes with the Ava and Nolan flashbacks. Seriously, he was such an ass to everyone yet he’s an angel to Ava in these Christmas scenes.

I loved that little flashback montage of how the Perfs became friends over the past 7 episodes. And I ship Ava and Dylan (as friends) so much. They’re my new Sparia.

I see the way Taylor is looking at Ali! I’m interested to see where this storyline will go.

Zava is really gonna be a thing now huh. Never saw that coming.

I’m calling it now: Alison will go behind Mona’s back and give Taylor the evidence that proves Booker is corrupt. In the finale, there will be a plot twist that Taylor can’t be trusted (who knows why) so Taylor will delete the evidence. Mona will say I told you so. They’re back to stage 1 with nothing. It’s only season 1. There’s no way this all ends in 2 episodes. Something has to happen to prolong it.

MONA OMG OMG OMG. I’m not one to go crazy over the romance side of PLL but that final scene had my jaw on the ground! I guess it’s because we just never really see that side to Mona in the original PLL. All we ever really saw is the occasional cute scene with Mike. But it was just that.. cute. This was steamy! Something totally new for Mona! And I’m starting to come around and like Mason’s character.

Wow the promo for next episode looks amazing! I’m hooked y’all. Don’t care what the ratings say. This is a great mystery.

#pll #pll tp #pll the perfectionists #the perfectionists #pretty little liars #pretty little liars the perfectionists #freeform

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honeylikewords · 6 years ago

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Santi, kids, go.

for a second when i read this i didn’t remember the context of my own post and had a legitimate heart attack thinking ‘oh god is someone asking me something gross???’ and my heart rate jumped and my vision went blurry but then i remembered my post and also that i have one hell of an anxiety disorder so ghdkghdgk ANYWAY

WHO’S READY FOR SOME GOOD OL’ FASHIONED “K GOES ON A RANT ABOUT A MOVIE” LONG-FORM POSTING? BECAUSE THAT’S WHAT’S ABOUT TO HAPPEN HERE!

So, to make this legible, I’m going to, from here on out, use proper punctuation, capitalization, spelling, et cetera. I also should clarify that this post is largely only going to make sense if you’ve already seen Triple Frontier (now on Netflix!), so I suggest you go see that before you read this, if you’re interested in fully understanding what I’m talking about. I’ll include screenshots from the film for image reference, too, with specific points I’m talking about, but the weight of these scenes will work better if you’ve seen it actually in action. Oh, and this contains definite spoilers for the film, so if you wanted to watch it un-spoiled, better skip this post or watch the movie first and come back later.

Anyway, with all that preliminary stuff outta the way, let’s do a Classic K-Grade Deep Dive(TM).

This is Santiago “Pope” Garcia. He’s the protagonist of the J.C. Chandor Netflix film, Triple Frontier. Santiago is an ex-Army soldier working in Colombia as part of a task force within the local government to find (and kill) the head of the largest drug cartel in the area, Gabriel Martin Lorea. His story and personality are the center of the film; he’s the first character we really meet in a longer, more personal sense, the first personality we get to know, the first empathy point and anchor for the audience. All the lives of other characters in the film are viewed through his lens, and he is the real heart and soul of the film.

As such, it’s an interesting note to see how often Santiago (whose name I’ll shorten here to Santi) is paired, on-screen and thematically, with children in the film. For example, within the first few minutes of the movie and his own introduction to the audience, he’s shown fist-bumping local children as he walks with armed officers to a selected point to begin a raid on a drug operation.

(This one’s a little hard to see, sorry!)

That decision is just so fascinating to me, especially when you think about the fact that every action shown on screen is an intentional choice. This is an intentional display: they, the filmmakers, want us to see Santi interacting with children. They want us to know he’s friendly with them, kind to them, empathetic to them. This empathy with and love for children that Santi has is frequently contrasted against his fellow teammates throughout the rest of the film, and is therefore, in my opinion, a clear directorial and acted choice to show us Santi’s true stances and heart, the core of his character: a loving, good man who cares for others, and very specifically for children and those he believes most need his protection and help.

Of course, this shows up later in the film in many different ways-- from Santi protecting Yovanna, his informant within Lorea’s group, and her brother, to Santi’s desire to free Colombia from corruption and help its people rise to greater, healthier heights-- but it remains the same idea: Santiago cares about people, and specifically those he feels need a little extra protection.

But what we’re specifically talking about here is how Santi is repeatedly shown interacting with or framed against children. So, on with the list of examples.

The next instance of Santi with children is when we see Santi interacting with Tom (”Redfly”)’s daughter, Tess. Tess greets him familiarly and by his first name, meaning that she not only knows him, but knows him well. Santi is shown smiling wide, his voice warm and loud as he greets her.

Immediately after this comment about Tess, we get a tracking shot of a young child at a sports meet (which appears to be baseball). The shot is framed to match Santi’s gazing out the window, meaning Santi is the one seeing this child.

I argue that the framing of this is nostalgic or longing, probably because I think part of Santi’s arc is about his longing to leave his life behind and move on to something better. I think, for Santi, part of that is family. Family is a major thematic element of the film, and I like to imagine that this scene and its framing is meant to put us in the mind of Santi as he wonders about what it would be like to be a father with a child at one of these sports events, what it would be like to have something normal like Tom has. Santi wants a family, and all the family he has in his life anymore are the men who comprised his team, before, which is why he reunites them for the action of the film. He wants a family. I sincerely believe that. He just doesn’t know how to find one that’s anything next to normal, yet.

At any rate, the next example follows shortly after the previous one, as Tom begins talking about the details of the case Santi is offering him. Santi turns over his shoulder to check the backseat where Tess is sitting, clearly uncomfortable with the idea of her overhearing something like this. I don’t think he’s worried about the potential security risk so much as he’s worried about the idea of a child hearing her father talk about something violent and scary.

Here’s the over the shoulder glance; I mean, that just reads “concerned father” to me, you know?

Anyway, the next scene immediately follows, with Santi talking candidly with Tess in the car while Tom is in the gas station. Tess asks him about if he’s trying to get Tom to work again, and Santi tries, at first, to be playful, hoping to relax her, but when she seems serious, he gets serious and kindly concerned, too.

He asks if she thinks her mom would still let Tom go, clearly trying to engage her and target what she’s concerned about. Hell, he’s even being empathetic to the idea that even though Tom and his wife are divorced, his ex-wife may still have a stake in and concern about Tom’s welfare. Santi clearly cares about Tom’s home life, and about the wellbeing of this child.

It’s interesting, too, because Santi appears to have more dialogue and time together with Tess than even her father does, in terms of on-screen time. Again, the film is showing us Santi and children for a reason: he listens, he cares, he sees them.

This one’s blurry but I just thought I’d include the fact that Santi specifically says goodbye to Tess when he could easily have ignored her and just hopped out. He’s a sweetie.

The next scene doesn’t happen for a while, but when the team crashes their helicopter into the fields of a remote village, Santi is instantly hesitant to draw his weapon on the crowd that gathers around them. He does not fire, even when the situation grows more tense; his other teammates are the ones to open fire. In the crowd we can see a young, teenaged boy (who later returns to get revenge on Tom, who initiated the firing on the crowd), and a very young girl, who manages to survive.

Santi is the one shown speaking to the village leader. Santi is the one who takes the initiative to go to that man and give him several million dollars in damages and express his sorrow for this loss. He specifically asks that the money be given to the families of those who were killed. Specifically. Again, Santi is not only shown to be empathetic to the lives of others, but specifically to the children, too.

Interestingly, in the scene where the camera sits in the viewpoint of Tom as he walks to where Santi is (as Santi is talking with and giving the money to the leader of the village), it is specified in the audio description that a baby is crying.

Again, a framing of Santiago and children. It’s a little loose, but I feel like there’s intentionality in that; there had to be a decision to lay that audio in, a decision to incorporate the sounds of an anxious child with Santi’s attempts to fix the problem.

Later, when this teenaged boy from the village tracks the team to get revenge on Tom, who opened fire, it’s noted that Santi is not the one being shot at. Tom is. Again, this reinforces to the audience that Santi is not only not the villain, but someone who even children who don’t know him will respect and understand will not hurt them.

After Tom is killed by this same boy, Santi goes through an intense bout of rage as Benny reports that Lorea’s men have gathered a child army to try and capture the team. For a moment, Santi snaps and yells that they’ll “go through them”, suggesting that they kill whoever stands in their way to bring Tom’s body home, but he quickly shuts himself down and turns away, immediately becoming apologetic and rescinding his comment, knowing full well that he didn’t mean it. It later becomes clear that he was entirely sincere in this apology, because when they encounter the child soldiers, Santi refuses to do them any harm, and, in fact, helps the first one they meet, and refuses to allow his teammates to shoot them or hurt them.

The first child soldier they meet is a young boy, and whereas his teammates draw guns on the young boy, Santi is quick to yell at everyone to calm down and holsters his own weapon, putting his hands out in a show of defense.

He speaks to the boy in Spanish, showing that he is colloquial and personable with the boy. He’s trying to relate to him, calm him.

When Fish suggests he’s going to shoot, Santi raises his voice in a clear, anxious yell to tell him not to. He’s trying, desperately, to protect this boy.

The boy then calls for backup, and the team ties him up to steal his car. However, Santi lags behind to give the boy a stack of hundred dollar bills:

And advice:

And then cuts his ties loose and lets him go. He is STILL trying to protect this boy! Even after, when Fish yells at Santi for giving the kid money and berates him for not killing the boy, Santi yells back that they are not to kill anyone.

Next, the backup that the boy called for arrives, and, lo and behold, it’s also all teens and children. Santi is perched in the back of the truck with a perfect vantage point to shoot and kill all of them in the car that has chased them, but he pauses, clearly unwilling, and then, instead, fires warning shots at their engine, incapacitating the car but not hurting a single soul inside.

There are several back and forth shots between Santi’s face and the teens (too many for me to cap, frankly), and these serve to once again reinforce to us, the audience, just how deep Santi’s empathy runs.

More cars follow, and Fish yells at Santi to “shoot the driver”:

But Santi won’t do it. Again, he only damages the cars, shooting out their tires. Again and again, throughout the scene, Fish yells at Santi to kill these kids, even as Santi blows out tires and new cars show up.

But he won’t.

Once again, Santi aims for the tires. And he succeeds in only damaging the car, not the passengers.

Finally, as the film closes, Santi’s parting words with the last teammate he says goodbye to, William, are about Tom’s family, and specifically his daughters.

Again, he’s worried about the children. He always is. Santi’s concern for children is such a major part of his character presence, it’s almost impossible to miss!

So.

Why would I make this excruciatingly long post that required me to minute-by-minute revisit the movie and look for individual frames to show Santi interacting with or thinking about kids? Well, here are some reasons.

1. It’s always important to recognize recurrent themes, images, motifs, et cetera in films, and especially how they tie with characters. These choices are often intentional and left there by the artists making the film so that audiences, whether cognizant or subconsciously, can pick up on this information and see how it reflects on the character. Here, we learn that Santi is good with, friendly to, empathetic with, and protective of children. That shows us a good, heroic man, and someone the audience is meant to support, even when the chips are down. From an analytical standpoint, it’s good to be aware of this so you can better dissect and understand what a story is trying to tell you.

2. You all know I’m a softie who cares a lot about kids and I want the male characters I love or form affinities with to have similar attributes. This is a nice, big reference post for me to validate my stance on believing that Santi not only loves kids, but would be great working with them and being a father in his own right. Because I’m a sap.

3. I think it’s important to find examples of compassionate, caring male characters, especially men of color. I’ve seen a lot of disparaging comments made about Santi in the Triple Frontier tag, usually in order to bolster the image of his white teammates. And I wanted this to be a kind of definitive masterpost, if only for myself, about the fact that Santi is not only a good man, but oftentimes the better man out of all of them. So could y’all stop being racist against the POC characters in this film, please, could y’all sTOP-

4. Narratively, it gives us a better insight into what this movie is actually about. Because, quite frankly? It’s not a heist movie. I don’t think it was ever intended to be. A heist movie is something like Ocean’s Eleven, where the heist itself is almost a character. In this, the heist is background noise to the story that’s really being told; this movie is a story about people, and specifically one man, looking to make their lives better, and a story about families, bonds, personal connections. Now, I agree, the movie had some issues, absolutely, but I think that looking at this story as being Santi’s search for connections, for a family, really sheds light on how a lot of this movie works, and why it is the way that it is. By looking at his relationship with children and his personal arc with that, we’re informed about what he values, and the importance that he places on other lives. The movie turns from a “kickass action heist” into a more contemplative, thoughtful film about the cost of violence and selfishness, the loss we experience when we think only of ourselves, the real value of life and connection and love, in all its many forms. Familial, protective bonds are at the forefront of the piece, and recognizing that makes this movie make a whole lot more sense.

5. Men who are good with kids are hot. Which is also the point I made in 2., but it’s my post and I get to say what I want, goddamnit!

Anyway. I could go on for hours about ways we could interpret this or how it’s a valuable asset of the film, but I want to leave it up to every person to make their own decisions about it. I just wanted to be the one to point it out, since I think it’s a heavily glossed-over part of the story, and a very ignored part of Santi’s character and his story arc.

Also, let Santi be a dad 2kforever. Just sayin’.

That about concludes this post! If anyone wants to hear more about it or probe on the topic some more, I have lots more thoughts and opinions to share. Even if the movie is a little, shall we say, rocky in places, Santi and his story still hold a huge place in my heart, and I think a lot of this movie is actually really well done. J.C. Chandor really let Oscar shine, and I’m very moved by the work he, specifically, did in the film. Yay, Santi!

#long post #triple frontier #santiago garcia #i am incredibly valid and yes i am posting this at 2 am but god gave me a mission #gif warning #guns /#violence /#death mention /#lmk if this needs any other tags #drugs mention /#Anonymous

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trashyeggroll · 5 years ago

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Xena Final Season Rewrite

ANON SUBMISSION BELOW THE CUT: PLEASE READ!! THE BRILLIANCE!

This is galaxy brain. I got progressively more amped about the possibilities reading this, and I have zero notes because YOUR MIND.

Ok so here’s my pitch for a redone S6 and thus series end…

S5 ends on “Looking Death In The Eye”, I know “Another death fake out?” but hey it’s the final run so just go with it. It’ll just be a 20 episode season. I realize LDITE is episode 19 so we’d need another filler episode in the season to make it even which I’m not a fan of but I do like even numbers and what’s one more filler like episode? Depending on the quality it could be good; maybe there’s an unused “Hercules” plot left they could use for the season before all the Twilight stuff happens or they can do another filler idea they had specifically for “Xena” since I’m knocking out 5 episodes from season six, just no religious episodes please as they don’t do well execution wise on this series! The worst that happens is we get another MWF which was horrible yes but 2 completely garbage episodes out of 130 is still a pretty good track record!

S6 opens with “Livia”, “Eve” and then goes into “Motherhood” thus to set up the season of the old themes really winding down towards the end. An important note: the opening title sequences doesn’t change because really team why are you going to mess with that in the last year?!

Episode 4 would be “Coming Home” to reestablish the Amazons and it’s followed by “Who’s Gurkhan?” because while it’s not a great episode I’d argue it does show the impact of the time jump on Gabrielle so it’s not just a Xena thing.

Episode 6 is “Legacy” but without Gabrielle questioning her life path yet again; she’s still upset about killing the kid and accepts death as her punishment but it’s not this whole round 23 of this plot if you will. She explains her side and says she was blinded by the sand which plays to the tribes being blinded by hate for each other a bit they almost didn’t get together to fight the Romans. Episode 7 is “Send In The Clones” because it’s filler and each season has to have at least one filler episode if it’s almost 20 episodes long plus it’s close to the death episode of “Looking Death In The Eye” so timing wise it feels like it fits versus being near the series end and feeling even more like the filler it is.

Episode 8 would be “When Fates Collide” to play on the fact Hades is gone and to give Karl Urban one last goodbye. Also this was a strong episode so even if people thought the start of the season was just okay to good this would be an episode that would hopefully keep them watching! Also this is the best “Joxer” episode and lets Ted go out on a high I feel because he plays a character more could stomach than the Joxer we saw most often.

Episode 9 - 11 would be the Beowulf arc for schedule filler more than anything but also set up a time lapse later to explain why a clock has run out. Plus this has a legit kiss so you got to have that in the final season! :)

Episode 12 is “Old Ares Had A Farm” because it’s arguably the best episode of the season and plays into the depowered gods plot.

Episode 13 then by extension has to be “The God You Know”; I would do a rewrite script wise also to say Michael appears at the start to tell Xena about Caligula but then he disappears because he really screwed that up for her and made no sense the more he popped up in the episode. Xena would lose her god killing power still in here so you have her having to trick Caligula at the end but it’s due to a time limit running out, instead of being able to kill gods as long as Eve is alive it’s like a one year thing or even 30 year thing from the time she was born because of her destiny so at that point you can say the time is up and she lost them not because of any issues with Michael.

E14 would be a “You Are Here” type episode but not that episode; I love the questions the reporter asked don’t get me wrong but the episode just doesn’t work genre wise, it’s too much of a mash up. This position is close to the Beowulf arc to make it seem not just random filler but also gives some space for those who didn’t like the episode and would end that plot here with Xena having to talk Odin into giving her the apples so love can still exists. You can still do the scene where she gives Ares his powers back also and explains why you need the balance of them thus ending the gods arcs on “Xena” in a sense for the most part but also still keeping Aphrodite, Ares, and Celesta around to have it feel like “Xena” still to a small degree versus being more modern with the Eli stuff most episodes. If you liked the religious stuff fine, but to me it always felt heavy handed execution wise even though it created some interesting discussions so I lean towards limiting the episodes featuring it because again quality wise it just felt forced more often than not. If you still want the reporter in here for questions just make him a scribe or bard like Gabrielle following along and asking the questions to keep the genre consistent.

E15 is “Last Of The Centaurs” for one last Ephany send off and again to bring back in the Amazons before the end.

Coming back to the Amazons for the last time 16 and 17 would be the episodes featuring Varia and company but with some script changes; “Dangerous Prey” would still happen but Varia wouldn’t be as sidelined in this - she and Xena would work together at the end showing she can listen to take down the prince. Maybe it was just me but I really felt they handicapped Varia skill wise compared to how smart she was in “Coming Home” to point out Eve just based on hearing about a move she did and then seeing it so I would make her more like her CH self but still green enough Xena could show her some things to help her become queen and a better fighter to protect the tribe that way. This also allows Renee one more good go at directing like she wanted. Next would be “To Helicon And Back” so in this version Varia isn’t queen just yet but she’s clearly next up, people are still looking to Gabrielle for answers as the senior most queen; this episode is one of the final pay offs to the Twilight arc which started the season and is now ending the series again to feel like time has past but it’s still “Xena” at its heart. It plays out pretty much the same way with them fighting Bellerophon because if they don’t kill him then he’ll just keep coming after them; Varia is still kidnapped and she is sent to die with her people he thinks because maybe she does agree to his terms but the big thing is she doesn’t betray them so there’s no Gabrielle questioning her, Varia is meant to be the hope of the Amazons so her betraying such a core element doesn’t really make sense as that would kill them in a different way - she explains what Bellerophon said but replies with that just shows why he doesn’t understand his mother’s love for the Amazons. Gabrielle still has her great run scene but Xena just sees the bomb incoming and yells at her in time. I place this episode here because I think this episode shows the weight of the Amazon title wearing on Gabrielle and sets up Xena taking issues maybe with them even if she says nothing because the culture Gabrielle loves but she’s just not cut out for day to day queenship and this arguably calls back to her hinting at settling down in previous episodes most recently OAHAF.

E18 is “The Abyss” honestly for filler because it gives a break of time between Helicon and Vengeance for that story to work this way; it does have a great cave scene in it though so there’s that!

E19 is “Path Of Vengeance” which works as the wrap up for multiple things, namely Eve, Varia, the Romans, the Amazons, and Ares as well. It plays out much the same way we see originally; Ares uses a desperate to rebuild the Amazon numbers Varia and feeds even more on her rage when Eve returns and we learn the backstory for the new Amazon queen. Varia hasn’t seen Eve since “Coming Home” so her rage over her return to their lands makes sense still and if she’s being used by Ares it works to explain some continuity issues one might feel from how she should have grown from Xena’s teachings in “Dangerous Prey”. Eve still wants to make amends but has things complicated by the Romans show up to protect her given some in Rome still view her as a plus, Gabrielle still challenges Varia to a fight to be queen of her tribe in an attempt to save Eve so we still get that awesome fight, and Xena still saves the day in the end helping Varia see she’s being played by Ares and that people can change so she doesn’t have to become the thing she hated. I would also want some way worked in that we’d still get the line “I thought you might have sprained it on my face” from Gabrielle about the fight because I did love that tease. And with that we say goodbye to the ones listed above.

Finally episode 20, because it’s another 20 episode season only in the name of hopefully bettering the season and series, is “Many Happy Returns”. It’s more of a comedy yes, but it ends with a developed arc for the heroes - Gabrielle becoming someone more than just a small town girl and Xena back to how she was before Cortez arguably corrupted her so in a way redeemed with more work to go because she never feels redeemed; also they save a virgin which is how the series started with Xena saving Gabrielle. Also you have Aphrodite heavily in this which feels like old “Xena” compared to the modern religious vibes of this season. They literally fly off into the sunset together which is a much better way to end things I feel!

#submissions #anon #xwp #long post #submission

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whatwewrotepodcast · 6 years ago

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Oooh your wip has Angel's too?? Tell me about them!!

It surely does! Although the Angels themselves, as in those that still have their wings, are fairly minor characters. The main characters are the Fallen, those Angels who have lost their wings.

Basically we’ve based our Angelic lore pretty heavily on classic literature, primarily Milton’s Paradise Lost and Dante’s Divine Comedy, but then we’ve kinda mixed it all up to make it work for our purposes because that’s the most fun part about writing!

So, as far as the Angels go, in the beginning, God created many Arc Angels, who were the brightest and the most powerful. Given to them was the ability to create other, lesser Angels, the Seraphim and below them the Cherubim, each with lessening degrees of power. In the beginning everything was lovely and shiny, until Lucifer rebelled against his Creator. Sweet talker that he was, he managed to convince many of the Angels, from Arcs right down to Cherubim, that his way was right and that they should follow him. When he turned these forces against God, he sent the Angels still loyal to him to war with Lucifer’s forces. This led to Lucifer’s defeat and the Fall.

Those Angels who followed Lucifer and survived the battle were stripped of their wings and thrown into Hell, where they became the first Demons. The Arcs became the Princes of Hell (Belial among them), the Seraphim the Dukes of Hell, and the Cherubim became the regular level Demons. Over the years, their hatred and rage over their treatment corrupted their physical forms, turning them into the monsters we know today. The level of physical malformation is a direct reflection of how corrupted and twisted a Demon’s heart is.

As for the Angels who didn’t Fall, they continued their duties in Heaven. More Seraphim and Cherubim were created, but God created no new Arcs. Angels continued to Fall, succumbing to sin, having their wings stripped from them, however they did not immediately go to Hell, instead being sent to earth to live as Fallen. If they did not allow themselves to be corrupted, they could continue to live indefinitely as Fallen, however they were subject to the same corrupting feelings of rage as their bretheren and many of them soon become Demons and make their way to Hell. As human society continued to develop, a few Seraphim were sent to earth to become watchers and protectors of human cities, to defend them against the depredations of the Demons. However, all things must be kept in balance, and at any one time there can only be so many Angels and a requisite number of Demons present on the earthly plain at any one time. The Demons work to corrupt humanity, running underground clubs and brothels, selling drugs and sex and generally tempting humanity towards “sin”, while the Angels attempt to counterbalance these actions by addressing the issues that lead people towards the Demons; running soup kitchens, helping the homeless, assisting those suffering from mental illness and so on.

Interesting fact is that when Angels come to earth they are able to choose how they appear physically, from their gender to their eye colour. Many Angels feel themselves to be one gender or the other, or have a specific look that they prefer, but others change from time to time, on one visit perhaps female, on another male, on another neither. However, when an Angel Falls, their physical appearance is an outward expression of their interior soul. So for example, Ithuriel is blonde with bright gold eyes because he’s still very shiny and bright inside.

Eventually, when our story starts, there are only 7 Arc Angels left in Heaven - Michael, Gabriel, Ithuriel, Uriel, Raphael, Amitiel, and Remiel. Ithuriel is the next to fall and Revelation picks up the story a few months after he’s Fallen.

Wow that was super fun, it’s been ages since I’ve had the chance to ramble about mostly irrelevant backstory and world building!

#riverthewriter #angels #wip #writeblr #world building #demons #writing #am writing #revelation #ask

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twdmusicboxmystery · 6 years ago

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Strawberry Theory: Master Post

Good morning! So I finally got around to reposting the Strawberry Theory. As you can see, I’ve done my best to make a master post out of it. I’m by no means sure that I have all the instances of strawberries, so if anyone thinks of any I’ve missed, please send them to me.

Warning: I might go down a bit of a rabbit hole here.

So these are the major instances of Strawberries that I’ll address here:

1) Around Beth at Grady.

2) That Daryl “claimed” in 4b.

3) Around Father Gabriel in 5b.

4) Around Sasha in 7b.

5) Rick and Carl’s convo in S8.

6) Around Carol in S7.

I want to talk about Grady first, even though it’s kinda out of order, because it’s the whole crux of the Strawberry theory. We see them around Beth all over the place at Grady. They’re in the cafeteria when she talks to Gorman, on the plate she brings to Edwards in his office, and what she uses to bribe Percy to help her get the KEY to the drug locker.

So let’s talk about the symbol of the strawberry and why it’s so appropriate for Beth.

In Christian symbolism, represents kindness and Christian goodness and purity in general. Not hard to see why this would be a Beth symbol. But that’s just the tip of the iceberg.

Strawberries were also thought to be a remedy for depression. They therefore represented healing, especially the healing brought by Christ.

Think about that. Not only was she in a hospital, and so maybe it showed she would heal from all her injuries, past and present, but we also have the Carol situation. Beth was literally holding strawberries in her hand when she went and got the medicine Carol needed from the locker.

There’s always been tons of talk and criticism about the fact that Carol went from having internal injuries that Edwards didn’t think she’d survive, to standing up and walking out of the hospital in mere days.

I’ve always thought that was probably meant to be more symbolic than realistic, and this surely proves it.

It’s also been said that the strawberry represents virtue. Specifically, that it stays virtuous and un-corrupted by the poisons around it. That’s definitely true of Beth, who never let the horrors of the world around her get her down or change her.

Because the tip of the strawberry points down, they sometimes represent Christ’s tears. The three-partitioned leaf represents the Trinity. The five petals on the flowers represent Christ’s five wounds (two hands, two feet and in the side).

I could go on, but check out THIS POST for more details.

The only other one I want to mention is that in other cultures, the strawberry can have a somewhat opposite meaning: that of sexual temptation. I’m less convinced that’s what tptb were going for, but given Gorman and what was going on at Grady, it would still make a certain amount of sense.

So no matter how you slice it, this is a very appropriate and even obvious symbol for Beth.

Next, Daryl claiming the strawberry patch. And here goes the rabbit hole.

I said the last time I posted the Strawberry theory, in the middle of S6, that the whole sequence where Daryl claims the strawberries is a foreshadow of how Daryl will find Beth again. I said it was significant that he’s on the road alone at the time (with the Claimers, but no other members of TF with him). Many of us believe that’s how he’ll find Beth.

Remember that @fragipanilove said in her post that, because Daryl is a Mary Magdalene figure to Beth’s Christ figure, he’ll probably be the first to see her (because Mary Magdalene was the first to see Christ, even before his apostles). So this actually works very well as a template. He’ll stumble upon her with another group and “claim” her from them. It’s especially interesting that the guy who first saw the strawberries throws Daryl a murderous look, as though he’d taken something the man thought should have been his.

Now, when I last posted about this, I thought it would be Negan’s people Daryl would find Beth with. During S6, we were all convinced she would show up with Negan. I think she still has to show up while Negan is in play, which he is for S9, but obviously it didn’t happen in quite the way we thought it would back then.

The thing is—and I’ve said this before—I do believe Joe’s Claimers were a foreshadow/parallel of the wolves. Lots of evidence for that. A “W” in the background when Daryl talks to Joe.

Beth and Daryl’s parallel arcs: the fact that Daryl ended up with the Claimers after Beth sort of left him behind (though not of her own volition). And we have a lot of evidence that Beth will end up with the wolves some time after TF left her behind. The fact that the Claimers were sort of the vehicle that reunited Daryl with TF (Rick, Daryl and Michonne) and we think the same will be true of Beth and the wolves. I could go on and on, but I won’t.

So my point is that I still stand by my original analysis of this scene as a template for Daryl stumbling onto Beth, but I’m thinking now that the group he’ll find her with is the wolves.

Also remember that per my Claimed Trading Card post, we can now, because of the trading card @boltthrutheheart found, link the Claimers and the Red Machete to Beth and Daryl. And of course Daryl “claimed” the strawberries, which are a symbol of Beth.

Now let’s talk Father Gabriel. Here’s where things get kind of complicated. You know what? Let’s talk about Sasha first. That will be easier.

We saw strawberries around Sasha in 7x16. And the interesting thing about this scene is that, along with the strawberries are apples (Apple Theory) and pancakes (Bisquick was mentioned at Grady, and self-rising products also represent resurrection). So three very potent Beth symbols.

The next thing we know for sure is that in Sasha’s death, she became one of the biggest proxies of Beth that we’d ever seen. She died but reanimated as a walker (resurrection) from a yellow coffin (Beth’s yellow polo) and about a thousand other parallels you can brush up on HERE and HERE.

So, connecting those two things, I think when we see strawberries around other characters (other than Beth and Daryl) it’s because the character is about to become a proxy either to Beth or to her arc, which is thematic throughout the entire series.

I’m pulling that analysis specifically from Sasha’s arc, so now let’s look at Father Gabriel. If strawberries around him in 5b are to show that he’ll become a Beth proxy, how is that accomplished on the show?

Well, there are a couple of ways it happened back in S5.

1) He started off being a very weak character that no one really liked. The end of S5, (5x16 to be exact) is when he first started to find his own strength and become worthy of living in TWD world.

2) The final scene between him and Sasha in that episode. You can read about it in detail HERE, but remember that they fought over the rifle and shot out the glass of the picture with the white trees.

It’s actually super-interesting to consider all this. We still don’t know exactly what role Sasha played in Beth’s disappearance/being left behind, but we know she played a role. The interesting thing is that these two (her and FG) fought in this scene, had a conversation that made no sense whatsoever, and strawberries were seen around both of them at one time or another.

3) This could also be seen as healing. Father Gabriel is very broken when they find him in S5, but 5x16 is the beginning of his healing, and he’s now because a very emotionally strong and steady character. Even Rick approves, which is saying something!

But now, after S8, there’s more, my friends. There is much more!

In S8, Father Gabriel was poisoned, right? He seems to have lost one of his eyes because of this. Also remember that in the sequence that led up to this, Dr. Carson died, and there were a ton of Beth parallels there too. (X)

The thing is, guys, having only one eye is tied heavily to the Sirius/Dog Star symbolism. @frangipanilove is the expert on this and could probably explain it better, but remember that the dog that came to the funeral home in Still only had one eye. We’ve always known that was important because the Sirius dog of the mythology is one-eyed. So that was always a way to show that Beth is the dog star, which will return.

Now Father Gabriel has only one eye (and it’s even the same eye as the dog!). So he’s a walking embodiment of the Siris/Dog Star symbolism. I don’t know if that means he had something to do with leaving Beth behind, as Sasha did, or that he’ll have something to do with her or her return. Because it’s taken so long for him to lose the eye, I lean toward it meaning something about her return. Especially as it happened in S8, and we really think we’ll see her in S9, it would make sense for the loss of his eye right before she appears.

Okay, let’s talk about some smaller instances of strawberries.

I’ll start by piggybacking off of what I just said. There was another instance of strawberries in S8, but it wasn’t one we saw. Rather, it was heard in dialogue. While arguing with Carl, who was trying to tell Rick that they needed to make nice with Negan and the Saviors, rather than killing them all, Rick said, “You think we’re gonna be out there picking strawberries with Negan?

Okay, another rabbit hole. What does this line mean? Well, if strawberries = Christian goodness in traditional symbolism, then this is just another way of saying that Rick doesn’t believe they’ll be able to make nice or find Christian love for Negan and his people after all they’ve done.

But why insert the strawberry symbolism? They could have uttered the same line/meaning without using the Beth symbol. And because AOW ended without her showing up, it doesn’t seem like something that should specifically apply to her, right?

So here’s what I’m thinking about this one. Strawberries can be about healing, right? And we’ve already established that they were specifically used this way at Grady because of both Beth and Carol. Well, the ultimate emotional “healing” that could take place between Negan and TF would be if they could forgive one another (I’m specifically thinking about the fact that Maggie, Daryl and Jesus are secretly working against Rick where Negan is concerned) and feel truly Christian toward one another again.

I think that WILL happen eventually. That’s why Negan is still alive. That’s why they threw in that random scene at the end of S8 where Maggie and Daryl are secretly trying to kill Negan. Their next arc will be one of coming to a place of forgiveness for Negan.

But the fact that they used the strawberry symbol to indicate this shows that Beth must be tied up in it somehow. And that kicked my butt down a rabbit hole because…think of the reasons we originally thought Beth would show up with Negan: because there are bats around her. And remember I said HERE that even though she didn’t show up with him or during AOW, as long as he’s still alive, there is hope of her showing up. If we’re right about what the bats mean, then she has to show up while Negan is still in play. As long as he’s still alive, there’s hope for her return.

But given this healing stuff, let’s re-examine the bats around her.

1) Beside her and Daryl in Inmates. Because it’s her and Daryl in this scene, the most obvious thing is that they’ll reunite at sometime during Negan’s tenure on the show. But this is also where we saw a disembodied shoe, and where Beth starts crying. So it’s about healing, and I’d also throw in that the lost foot/shoe symbolism will probably be fulfilled when she returns. Again, at some time when Negan is still on the show.

2) Glenn holding the bat and talking about her in the present (rather than past) tense in 5x09. This one is super-huge. Everyone thought Glenn holding the bat was a foreshadow of his death at Negan’s (or Lucille’s) hands. And it was. But he specifically talked about Beth during this sequence. Why? She wasn’t even present for his death.

Because she is the one who will help everyone (specifically Maggie and Glenn, but TF in general) come to forgive Negan (thereby healing them) for Glenn’s death. This may also explain why they specifically did a major death fake out for Glenn (in S6) rather than any other character. Beth is very tied up in Glenn’s final arc (or at least the aftermath of it) even if she wasn’t present for it.

Finally, the most minor example is that we saw strawberries in the bowl of fruit Ezekiel offers Carol in 7x02. (X) This is the only one I don’t think is specifically tied to Beth. I mean, it kind of is, but not in a way we need to over-analyze.

The bowl of fruit contains apples, nectarines, pomegranates, and strawberries. Nectarines are very close to peaches, so I think they filled the bowl with fruits we’ve seen often on the show before. And yes, many of them are tied to Beth.

But the episode specifically emphasizes that pomegranates are Carol’s symbol. It was even confirmed on TTD. Ezekiel said a pomegranate is sweet fruit surrounded by bitter, and that’s an analogy for Carol’s mindset at the time. She’d built up bitter walls around herself. There was still sweet fruit inside, but she was concealing it.

So what does this have to do with the strawberry theory? I think this was meant to specifically tell us that Carol’s symbol is the pomegranate and NOT the strawberry. It’s there, but it’s very specifically not tied to her. So the strawberries Daryl claimed are not meant to be about Carol. They’re, you know, about someone else. And who did we see strawberries around? Who held them, used them constantly, and was in many shots with them at Grady?

Exactly.

Okay, I think I’m gonna stop there. Again, if anyone can think of more instances of strawberries, let me know. Thoughts?

#beth greene #beth greene lives #beth is alive #beth is coming #td theory #td theories #team delusional #team defiance #beth is almost here #bethyl

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workreveal-blog · 8 years ago

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Female gamers: can they game?

New Post has been published on https://workreveal.biz/female-gamers-can-they-game/

Female gamers: can they game?

They say Female gamers game better than male gamers. My earliest childhood memory is pointing and crying at a kitchen cupboard that presumably contained apple sauce. In my next most initial reminiscence, within the identical condo, my start father is gambling Mountain King at the Atari 2600 There have been different video games in our circle of relatives library: Berzerk, Asteroids, Haunted House, Adventure. But Mountain King, released in 1983, became mystical. It is also frequently stated, 30 years on, because the toughest sport for the Atari gadget.

game

as the “Intrepid Explorer” my father could deftly manoeuvre up the mountainside, accumulating gems and hunting the elusive Flame Spirit, which seems onscreen as a dancing shadow. (As soon as the Flame Spirit is captured, it encircles the Intrepid Explorer’s head like a flickering, ghostly wreath.)

Then my father would assignment down the treacherous peaks closer to the Throne Room, that is guarded via the ominous Skull Spirit. He would kneel at the Cranium, provide the Flame, be granted safe passage into the Throne Room where the crown rests. As quickly because the queen became settled on my father’s head, the music – a violent However strangely lively rendition of inside the Hall of the Mountain King – would play. My dad might clamber returned up the mountain, in a ballet of arcing leaps. (There’s also a tremendous inexperienced spider that trawls alongside the mountain’s base, that is ever a lot greater scary to a toddler than grey bats are. In spite of the Atari 2600’s constrained sound competencies, the spider made this lousy skritching sound as he approached.)

From time to time my father made it to the top of the mountain But regularly he didn’t. This turned into after I’d usually pay attention him swear a little bit.

In lots of methods, Mountain King was my first bedtime story. And like any toddler with a favourite bedtime story, I wanted my father to inform it to me time and again. Best, my dad advised it to me with small, dexterous bends of the 2600’s joystick, with a cartridge and a tv set. He was in his late 20s then.

Besides, I assume this is how I fell in love with video games.

A year after my father’s death, my adoptive mother and father gave me a laptop, a Packard Bell 486-33. Of route, I in no way asked for a laptop – I wanted a Splendid Nintendo or, God helps me, a few type of Sega aspect – However my old dad and mum had decided that video games corrupt young minds and that PC video games are so much more highbrow. (For anything cause, recreation Boys have been high.)

I was pleased, though, and using Christmas 1993, I used to be on the line for the primary time. My piano instructor – an older neighbour with a brilliant-red dye job and a penchant for floral muumuus – taught me the way to navigate file directories in MS-DOS. Soon my piano classes had was me, an obstinate eleven-year antique, traumatic that my neighbour educates me ever-more tricky DOS commands.

It by no means As soon as struck me as strange that my piano teacher – a politically conservative retired nurse with cats – also became a Pc whiz. I don’t think kids ever absolutely be aware that form of component.

Or perhaps kids do. When I was round 12, my adoptive mother advocated me to inform an own family buddy what I desired to be when I grew up. “I need to jot down PC video games!” I instructed her triumphantly. “I’m going to be a clothier!”

“Well, then,” the lady warned, “you ain’t be capable of having children.”

“I gained,” I promised her in a serious voice. Proper around the time I demanded my dad and mum let me pick out my very own garments – being dressed like Patty McCormack from The Terrible Seed does little good on your social standing – I began choosing out my very own video games, too. I played plenty of Adventure video games during the next five years. Those games had been heavy on textual content and tale-pushed, and they took a long time to complete.

And at the same time as I gained defend it as a favourite sport, I keep in mind loving Myst once I first played it in 1993. Superficially, the sport is about strolling round, getting misplaced and clicking on matters; at its coronary heart, even though, it is very similar to Mountain King. Each is approximately a type of video game agnosticism; about learning an esoteric mechanical vocabulary and, from there, intuiting the way to absolutely play.

My mother and father had a coverage stipulating I wasn’t allowed to have a new computer sport until I’d finished the last one. After months of being stuck in Myst, I sooner or later lied. I don’t forget it because it was my first actual lie. I hated Myst.

Using 1996, most of my girl classmates had stopped gambling video games. I assume some of this had to do with societal pressures, but the rest of it had to do with the Nintendo sixty-four. Even now its controller is nonsense; in 1996 it was outright galling. Where had these types of buttons come from? Why became it shaped like that? Why become there an analogue stick stuck in the middle of it?.

In the meantime, liked franchises inclusive of Mario and Zelda had shifted from dimensions to a few, and not every girl become without problems able to adapt to those new spatial challenges. For the primary time, some us started out to think about console gaming as “boys’ toys”. I did, too, and that I began to regard my personal regular after-faculty laptop gaming as my secret shame.

I suppose 1998 marked one in every of video games’ hugest upheavals. The Sega Dreamcast – which would move on to grow to be a technical failure – supplied thrilling arcade studies (Loopy Taxi) for gamers at home. Journey games had been additionally trying to adapt and failing. Sierra’s King’s Quest franchise, as an example, chose that yr to alienate its in general girl target market with 3-D platforming and hack-and-lessen fight (which was routinely amusing But in the long run did no longer paintings. That attempt, King’s Quest VIII, would be the closing access in the series). The similarly maligned Gabriel Knight three has long past down in history as incorporating the dumbest puzzle of all time.

However that same 12 months, Sierra published a primary-person shooter known as Half-Existence, which instantly became the enterprise’s gold famous for high-quality. The market was flooded with modern thoughts, most of which failed, But Half of-Existence seemed to stick. And the marketplace, in turn, narrowed its cognizance and became greater homogenised in its services. A variety of genres died that 12 months.

In 1998, my very own tastes – which are fortunately flexible, luckily – adapted to this climate shift. The two CD-ROMs I took to college have been 1/2-Existence and American McGee’s Alice. Each day after lunch, my subwoofer boomed in time with the subwoofers up at the 1/3 floor of our residential university, wherein the men lived. Perhaps not coincidentally, my roommate transferred to every other university.

I loved multiplayer video games. Playing video games had continually been any such lonely endeavour; I’d ultimately determined others. I ended being shy about games, started evangelising approximately them.

The idea of gamers as a unified network become new to me – to each person. It felt like When someone abruptly turns up the lighting in a darkened bar, and you understand there are some humans within the same room, all jostling for the area and they all appearance distinct to what you expected (and lots of them, to my excellent remedy, had been ladies). I assume that second must be very jarring or scary for actual humans and Possibly makes them feel even extra alone.

gamer

But I never wanted to move again to the darkness. I by no means once more wanted to experience like a 13-12 months-old lady, hopelessly by myself and disconnected, go-legged in front of a Tv or sitting at a computer, hiding.

In 2005, sparkling out of university, I took on freelance paintings reviewing games for a mag called Digital Gaming Monthly. I welcomed this work specifically to harass my mum. But I additionally took on the process due to the fact I intended there could be 13-12 months-antique ladies like I had been, who would possibly turn via the magazine and experience remedy to see my byline.

It wasn’t easy to work. I remember wondering that EGM has been probable giving me evaluations because a salaried writer couldn’t end them. I often received games Only days before the opinions have been due. Once, I fell asleep in the course of a longwinded Suikoden cutscene (a series where the participant has restrained manipulate). Every of those evaluations paid about £37. And I’m describing the enterprise When pay was at its exceptional.

In 2006, I commenced paintings as 1UP.Com’s community supervisor, an article role that worked with fellow writers, PR, builders, the advertising and marketing department and “person retention” groups. I was not very good at that activity and that i had never purported to be. I in no way labored Well in a group. I often want I could have remembered that approximately myself on my way in.

However the position opened my eyes to positive aspects of online gaming, consisting of harassment, abuse, threats and even stalking, and In many methods, it’s far an sad enjoy that I wish I should undo. After that activity, I spent a yr in therapy.

Weeks in the past, I wrote a 500-phrase opinion piece in the Mum or dad, titled “the way to attack a lady who works in video gaming”. I used my pulpit to sentence abuse, which is rampant in my enterprise. I have lengthy witnessed on line abuse firsthand, and that i trust the mainstream video games industry’s silence tacitly condones it. I don’t care who the goals are or what harassers can also agree with they have performed. it’s miles unacceptable. it is usually unacceptable.

But ultimately saying so was by no means my “dream article”. Once I, elderly 12, advised that female I dreamed of being a laptop video games designer, I used to be not dreaming of ultimately writing an opinion piece denouncing abuse. However acknowledging that violence exists is – sadly – enough to inspire it. Days after the book, I retired from writing approximately games.

female

Then an editor on the Mum or dad requested me if I’d task out of my two-week retirement and give an explanation for why I like video games. It’s smooth to be coaxed out of retirement if you have loved video games for 30 years and written professionally approximately them for nine.

And so I had to take delivery of because I clearly do love games. Oh, my God, I cherish them, all the way down to my material, right down to the crude, essential Lego bricks that made me. I like what they’re, and what they can be. And that I wholeheartedly love everybody else who plays them, all people who would name themselves a “gamer”.

Being a gamer, though, way you essentially must trust in belonging: consider that people of all attitudes, from all walks of Lifestyles, can peaceably coexist. And while I would in no way outline myself completely by using just one pastime or function – whether or not it’s analysing comedian books, gathering toys, playing video games or being female – I do trust that some rare matters in Lifestyles, like loving video games, defy all limitations.

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