#and fucking cried my ass off
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megaawkwardhuman · 2 months ago
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phykoha · 7 months ago
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I hate hate HATE when people say I'm "having an attitude" with them, bc I'm literally not until AFTER they say that. And thats not even "an attitude", it's me being annoyed and frustrated bc youre saying im having an attitude when im NOT.
Like what does that even mean. I'm just autistic.
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lynsburner · 1 month ago
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Popping in to say now why the fuck are you publishing what is very much a fic without even the serial numbers filed off like blatant likeness the bRAVERY the DELUSION babe
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freshbeeth · 1 month ago
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inspired by my off the hook (irl) playlist
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possession1981-moving · 8 months ago
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went window shopping in those baggy jeans nct love so much
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selfinflictedgunshotwound · 6 months ago
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sorry for only saying this type of shit lately but i kinda wanna drive a car straight into a brick wall at the highest speed possible
#trying to keep it together so bad because i already know the problems and solutions and whatnot but i cannot do anything#i desperately just need to do something. accomplish any task. actually several would be nice. but i cannot stand just letting life go by#while i watch other people have the things i want. or even metaphorically living my dream like. that should be me why am i settling for thi#i hate even talking about this because i feel so stupid when i know it's not even a real tangible problem and that i actually DO have real#problems to tackle and the ability to do so but i'm choosing to be upset over the stupidest things i could possibly be sad about#and i can't even be sad about it in a normal way i'm cycling through like several different reactions to smth that isn't even real#or if it is real i literally do not have tanglible evidence for it one way or another like i'm driving myself insane for no reason#i can't even get catharsis because all i'm doing is digging a deeper hole for something i never should've gone back into in the first place#because i KNOW how i am i KNOW how i react to things and i still chose to do it lmao.#and i continue to choose to go through this shit instead of actively trying to change my life because... i'm lazy? and stupid? idk#negative self-talk isn't gonna get me to do anything either so let's just say i'm feeling particularly unmotivated like usual#i hated being a teenager but i really do miss when all my problems just amounted to 'someone was mean to me on tumblr today :(' or i failed#a test in chemistry or something. like i yearn for that simplicity becasue at this point all i'm doing is ruining my own life LMAO#i'm too scared to live i'm too scared to die so i just sit here and fantasize that life could be amazing if i wait#and i'll magically get everything i've ever wanted if i just wait long enough. and i know it isn't true and i still wait for it to happen.#because honestly like. i think deep down i am just convinced i will fail at anything i do when that shouldn't be what scares me.#what scares me should be never even allowing myself to fail because i never tried to do anything at all with myself or my life#like. wake the fuck up. get off your ass and put in the effort. learn some skills. gain independence and stability and discipline and do it#just live please i'm begging you just live so i can be happy don't i deserve to be happy... why am i not letting myself be happy#i'm literally keeping myself trapped in this negative feedback loop ON PURPOSE because teehee shiny toy#and it doesn't matter if the love is real it doesn't matter how i feel like i'm just using it as a distraction i can't say it's motivation#because it's barely motivated me at all. i have to start being realistic. 25 & just realizing you actually have to participate in your life#anyways. i've cried i've agonized i've pictured killing myself in 30 different ways. i think the only way i'm gonna feel better is#to just actually try this time without giving up. wish me luck
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colombinna · 5 months ago
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Got a headache from sobbing after binging WBN and most of it was on ep 23 this is evil and nasty fuck you Brennan
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cloudcountry · 11 months ago
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i love how i come back to twst post about how much i hate idia for a few days and then leave again it's such a cycle
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skywalker-swift · 1 month ago
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WORK FUCKING SUCKS
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moe-broey · 2 months ago
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Man. I do love when the character is Scared and fucking MAD ABOUT IT. Going from crying and cowering to snapping and biting the MOMENT a hand is extended to them. Trying to help them or otherwise just work with them somehow and the entire fucking time they're kicking and screaming and complaining and being disparaging and stuck up and just kind of a brat about it. ASSUME HARMFUL INTENT BY DEFAULT, get THEM before they GET YOU‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️ And NEVER trust a helping hand ESPECIALLY when it feeds you.
#i worry a lot about moe being a difficult character and i absolutely just. mani just fucking sucks ass. no saving that thang#but then it's like. i was just so completely and utterly endeared to sissel. captured my entire heart#THE SMUGNESS TOO. THE SELF RIGHTEOUSNESS. the NEED to have complete control to Protect everyone#and just. having extremely short sighted ways of doing it. the way sissel is still so painfully childish drives me insane.#just added the esp when it feeds you part and realizing how ironic that is w sissel bc that's Literally#how laios was able to win a little bit of trust. HOWEVER. this is me talking. from the heart.#either way something is just Up w me tonight i guess i've just been crying on and off about it LMFAOOO#in my fucking feelings..... whatever man ....#my biggest takeaway here is i can make mani worse.#maybe even still beloved... there is a chance......... it could be possible.#i'm also just extremely fucked up about sissel like. if it wasn't obvious. everything about him is driving me insane actually.#the mother/child imagery/motif. the fucking lion. i cried tears of relief when i saw#that the gang did put sissel in a bed after it all. like i could not fucking relax until i knew where he was#and i so. sooooo deeply and desperately just wanted someone to put him in a bed. for gods fucking sake.#don't even get me started. on everything else.#i'm just never gonna recover.#moe tag#mani tag#<- tagging them bc IN SPIRIT. this post is also about them
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wabatle · 2 months ago
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i hate group work
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missrosegold · 4 months ago
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Looks like I just lost another close friend to guy who isn't worth a pile of dog shit. 😊
#my best friend no less#i cried about this shit practically all afternoon but i'm all out of tears and now i'm just pissed off.#this shit has been going on for a long ass time but i've finally reached my breaking point with it#i love her#but she is delusional#and it kills me to say that#but that whole “relationship” (if you even want to call it that) is fake. all he cares about is money not her#the worst part is that she knows it too#oh but she “loves him” and “wants to give him one last chance” girl what the fuck?#oh but better yet he dumped her once 2 years ago already and i've hated his punk ass since#never should've gotten back tother after that and i told her as much even back then#all he does is make her cry#not do anything arount their town house#and sit on his ass and watch tv or sleep when he's not working#that's the tame stuff too i could say sooo much worse but i'm actually not trying to air her dirty laundry out her#i'm just pissed off#but suddenly IM the bad guy when tell her i won't support her or this “relationship” when she told me they were getting back together today#this is after i helped her and her parents ans brother move all her stuff out of the town house last Monday and back to her parents place#after she told me they were done for good#but IM the bad guy for bringing up all of fhe reasons listed above and all of the REALLY bad things about the relationship#when i tell her i won't be supporting her any longer and that i'll be walking away if she goes back to him#best part is her family agrees with me and they tell her all the things i say about him and then some#but when i go out on the line and put my heart down on the table for her and all i get back is a text saying:#“i don't really like how you're texting right now so we'll talk about this later.”#girl#i don't know whether or not i want to cry harder or strangle her#i think it's both#so yeah i think i just lost my best friend to a guy who doesn't remotly deserve her and everything kicks rocks rn#it's just like my other friend all over again#why do my friend have such dog shit taste in men
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arcadian-vampire · 5 months ago
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My mom got us fishing backpacks (off Temu 🤨) so I don't have to take my cutesy, covered-in-buttons-and-charms backpack out and risk losing smth!
They've got fishing rod holders, which is nice
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vvitchy-succubus · 7 months ago
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apollo-zero-one · 9 months ago
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Man I can't believe I had the chance to go to a performing arts school up through middle school and I fuckin quit after 6 months just because I got bullied. BRO YOUR HOMEWORK WAS POETRY!! YOU HAD TO PRACTICE DANCING TO COTTON EYE JOE AS YOUR BIG UNIT TEST. GYM CLASS HAD A CIRCUS UNIT!! YOU HAD A WHOLE DAILY CLASS ON IMPROV!!! YOU FOOL!! YOU ABSOLUTE IMBICILE!! YOU COULD HAVE BEEN A YOUTUBER!!! YOU COULD HAVE BEEN ONE OF THOSE TWEENAGERS GETTING LOADED BY MAKING SHITTY YOUTUBE SHORTS IN 2008-14!! But noooOoooOOOoo little miss Noellie (who WANTED TO GO!! who worked SO HARD and sent in an application essay and did an INTERVIEW to get in!!) couldn't handle disruptive classmates or little scuffles and petty grudges and general Attitude of the other students and cried to mommy to put her back in public school. I am EATING MY HAIR over what Could Have Been. I COULD BE SOMEONE'S ANNOYING YOUTUBER!! I could be a DISGRACED DISNEY CHANNEL STAR!! I could be an America's Got Talent winner! A mild to moderately successful comedian! I could be making short films!! But no no no precious thin skinned baby me heard a few new cus words and watched a teacher get heckled and begged to give up The Dream in favor of?? Quiet math tests?? I am such a fucking quitter I quit everything the second it gets too hard I always take the out as soon as it's offered what's my fucking damage.....
#I had SO MUCH POTENTIAL and I SQUANDERED IT!! weak ass third grade PUSSY! Your life could have been SO SICK!!#or you could at least be addicted to cocain or something interesting like that!! Boring ass goody two shoes always just staying home doing#NOTHING bitch make a REAL FRIEND go to a God Damn PARTY live a little instead of just hiding in the closet eating saltine crackers for years#waiting for it to be quiet outside before you ever even toed the line#mentally ill self-isolating motherfucker#you could have shrugged it off you could have GROWN A PAIR and FOUGHT BACK but you just ran and cried for mommy#victim complex little bitch baby always whining and exaggerating and making shit up fucking LIAR I am you and I KNOW what you did and I know#you knew it wasn't the truth and you regretted it the moment it came out of uour mouth but once you'd said it you just swallowed it back and#doubled down incriminating or discrediting others with your lies. For why? Because you didn't like them? You could have ruined someone's#life you wouldn't have hesitated mayhe you did and don't even remember because you cant keep your mouth shut with your pants ablaze#manipulative little shit and to WHAT END? Pity? Sympathy? Attention? Entertainment?? What was even going on in your stupid ugly head?#This is a callout post for my third grade self that possessed demon ass evil nine year old. That kid drowned anthills in olive oil and#poisoned a wild animal once. That kid cut plants just to see if they oozed. That kid modified her whole ass personality on a dime for a boy#she had a crush on. INSTANTLY dropped a LIFELONG CULTURAL ALLEGIANCE (thats what football teams were like back then in our town) because he#said he had the opposite allegiance??? What the fuck? girl had NO integrity none zip zilch.#No empthy either that kid looked at everyone else on earth like they were friggin space aliens and she was the only one with Real feelings.#bitch literally thought like 'I have Feelings they just have Reactions' bitch what the fuckkkkk#that nine year old was fucked the hell up!!!#and for literally NO REASON!! No cause!! Just born fucking evil and weird. jesus fuck.#Evil ass bitch caused her autistic brother months of nightmares and then laughed about it and wrote poetry about how evil he was because he?#was a kid??? Normal sibling rivalry taken way way way too far defamatory ass statements#and this girl had NO CONSEQUENCES because she could lie and manipulate her way out of ANYTHING she had the baby eyes and the helpless charm#and played dumb soooo well . read people like some calculative evil AI scanning their faces for microexpressions and overanalyzing each word#choice like holy shit. its not That Deep. pretentious shit trying to play 5D chess on a checkers board.#Manipulating shit just to see what happens?? zero awareness?? no asking just skipping straight to testing for yourself??#'What happens if I step on this' it fucking breaks 'what does that taste like?' it's not fucking yours to mess with 'if I hit this person#how will they respond?' they'll be upset use your goddamn judgement you are NINE not TWO do you even care a little about any other person??#Are you just living in some other reality???#callout post for the fucking demon child inside of me#im so goddamn problematic I'm so so so deeply mentally disturbed and broken for no reason
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lavender-femme · 1 year ago
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#I’m so fucking sick of feeling everything to my core#cried for reasons I didn’t think I was going to today…#i thought we would be adults and move on with our lives but nah#got told I have internalised homophobia because ‘snitched’ on two staff in fucking 2021 for having sex in a bathroom while CHILDREN were on#property literally in the same building DOWN THE HALL! and the windows were open!#as if I wasn’t admin staff and obligated to report that to the director#if kids hadn’t been there then I wouldn’t have said shit but they were!#all this coming from the person who told me my femme identity is reductive#so now I’m apparently homophobic and not good at being a lesbian but apparently I’m also heteronormative and cis#according to this person#dumb dumb idiot ass#the mango diaries#i know I ranted a ton in these tags but I actually fucking had my whole birthday week just fucked over because she can’t fucking let things#lie#i just dropped one of my favorite people in the whole world off at the airport as these messages were coming through#and then driving in the snow with one of my other favorite people when I just couldn’t keep it together anymkre and started crying#she makes me feel so fucking small and I hate it#i was already having a hard time mentally today and last night but FUCK#this just was too much#and to know I was betrayed by another friend I trusted who told her I was the one that reported her… fucking hell#I’m just… ugh it just fucking hurts and I want to curl up and cry some more
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