#and fucking cried my ass off
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#AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAOSDIJDEO23FGRIHP3RJOHIVR0EJOEFFVHIEFN#COLIN WAS SO SWEET AND WOULDN'T GIVE UP ON THE MONSTER PLUS HIM PLAYING OFF GUILLERMO FOR A BIT#AND NADJA WAS SO FUCKING SLAY LIKE OMFG YES GIRL GET THEIR ASSES#AND NANDOR WAS SO PETHEDIC AND HE WENT WARRIOR AND NIXDOR WAS SO GOOD AND WHEN HE TRIED TO SAY HE WANTED TO TALK#TO GUILLERMO PLUS HE BROUGH GUILLERMO BACK WHEN HE FORGOT EVERYTHING EVEN THO IT WOULD MEAN HE'D BE BACK DOING STUFF FOR HIM#AND LIKE HE'LL HAVE HIM BACK BUT HE KNOWS IT'S FOR THE BETTER#AND I ALMOST CRIED#AND GUILLERMO BEING SO DONE IS FAIR AF BUT HE STILL CARES LIKE HOW THE VAMPS STILL CARE ABOUT HIM#AND AND AND LASZLO BEING A BIT OF A DICK WAS DONE IN A WAY THAT WORKS#AND HIM WITH COLIN WORKING ON THE MONSTER#AND#AIIDFIEH2UEGUOF2U9EGUFOEFIHWPUGJLEWJOFHRJ#what we do in the shadows#wwdits#wwdits spoilers#wwdits season 6#wwdits season 6 spoilers#wwdits s6#wwdits s6 spoilers#brought to you by ms paint#I had to WALK AROUND MY HOUSE AFTER#were they perfect? no#did jerry suck? YES#BUT AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
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Popping in to say now why the fuck are you publishing what is very much a fic without even the serial numbers filed off like blatant likeness the bRAVERY the DELUSION babe
#this is coming from someone who writes this shit#keep it on ao3#or wattpad or whatever the fuck that’s called#this is Harry styles fan behavior… or like toxic Star Wars like babe#esp with that cover like thATS HIM?!?????? the bravery….#like if u write a story keep it in places they shouldn’t be finding it babesssssssss#also all those tropes made me laugh my ass off#also the name they used is just Hozier and Niall horan combined change my mind!!!!!#if you don’t know what I’m referring to just dm lmaooooooooooo#anyway… back to being depressed!#only cried 3 times today and once in public! hooooooraaaayyyy#lyn needs to stop talking
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inspired by my off the hook (irl) playlist
#splatoon#splatoon 3#off the hook#chappell roan#took everything in me not to name the artist 'chappell roe'#and i mean EVERYTHING#normally i keep my silly little remixes to myself but this one simply went too hard#i am once again NEVER EVER BEATING THE MARINA ALLEGATIONS#you know that bitch sits in her room on friday nights mixing her gay ass songs with even gayer ass songs#FUCK OFF MARINA GET YOUR OWN PERSONALITY#AND FACE#nintendo music#mashups#yes obviously i cried making this
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Hey guys if a person tells you “hey I would actually like to figure this out myself” that means they would like to figure it out themselves! It doesn’t mean “fuck you and fuck your mum I’m a dumb widdle person who needs your assistance even if I say I don’t”
Hope this helps and I hope the guy cries about it.
#for the record I said the first thing#and they still did the second thing#therefore I did the third thing#tell them to fuck off#causing him to wander off in a sulk#I hope he cries#‘no need to be so rude about it’#bro I was pushing out signals for the last 20 minutes#like moving my body into your way#avoiding talk to you#ignoring you#like#get the hint#then shove it up your ass
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seems more like to me that y'all WANT Millie to have cheated on Moxxie
#momo talks#helluva boss#im gonna be blunt about it#ya'll are just reaching for drama thats not there#she fucking cried because shes GENUINELY SCARED and worried#theyre a family of assassins#of course as a mother shes gonna want the best for their child#second off#um have y'all EVER been pregnant before???#its a HUGE FUCKING CHANGE#and its scary ass news and it DOES leave you wondering wtf to do!!!!?#just because she called up Sallie May doesnt mesn theres some JUICY CHEATING SHIT y'all are looking for#she just simply called her sister up because WHO THE FUCK ELSE IS SHE GONNA GO TO#yes she could at least tell Moxxie hes her husband and she should know they both trust each other i get it ❤��#but what did y'all expect her to just BUST UP into the living room like I'M PREGNANT!!!!! ???#please just kindly QUIT with the Millie cheated on Moxxie theory#I GUARANTEE you your thirst for drama will be debunked#thank you for coming to my ted talk
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sorry for only saying this type of shit lately but i kinda wanna drive a car straight into a brick wall at the highest speed possible
#trying to keep it together so bad because i already know the problems and solutions and whatnot but i cannot do anything#i desperately just need to do something. accomplish any task. actually several would be nice. but i cannot stand just letting life go by#while i watch other people have the things i want. or even metaphorically living my dream like. that should be me why am i settling for thi#i hate even talking about this because i feel so stupid when i know it's not even a real tangible problem and that i actually DO have real#problems to tackle and the ability to do so but i'm choosing to be upset over the stupidest things i could possibly be sad about#and i can't even be sad about it in a normal way i'm cycling through like several different reactions to smth that isn't even real#or if it is real i literally do not have tanglible evidence for it one way or another like i'm driving myself insane for no reason#i can't even get catharsis because all i'm doing is digging a deeper hole for something i never should've gone back into in the first place#because i KNOW how i am i KNOW how i react to things and i still chose to do it lmao.#and i continue to choose to go through this shit instead of actively trying to change my life because... i'm lazy? and stupid? idk#negative self-talk isn't gonna get me to do anything either so let's just say i'm feeling particularly unmotivated like usual#i hated being a teenager but i really do miss when all my problems just amounted to 'someone was mean to me on tumblr today :(' or i failed#a test in chemistry or something. like i yearn for that simplicity becasue at this point all i'm doing is ruining my own life LMAO#i'm too scared to live i'm too scared to die so i just sit here and fantasize that life could be amazing if i wait#and i'll magically get everything i've ever wanted if i just wait long enough. and i know it isn't true and i still wait for it to happen.#because honestly like. i think deep down i am just convinced i will fail at anything i do when that shouldn't be what scares me.#what scares me should be never even allowing myself to fail because i never tried to do anything at all with myself or my life#like. wake the fuck up. get off your ass and put in the effort. learn some skills. gain independence and stability and discipline and do it#just live please i'm begging you just live so i can be happy don't i deserve to be happy... why am i not letting myself be happy#i'm literally keeping myself trapped in this negative feedback loop ON PURPOSE because teehee shiny toy#and it doesn't matter if the love is real it doesn't matter how i feel like i'm just using it as a distraction i can't say it's motivation#because it's barely motivated me at all. i have to start being realistic. 25 & just realizing you actually have to participate in your life#anyways. i've cried i've agonized i've pictured killing myself in 30 different ways. i think the only way i'm gonna feel better is#to just actually try this time without giving up. wish me luck
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Got a headache from sobbing after binging WBN and most of it was on ep 23 this is evil and nasty fuck you Brennan
#worlds beyond number#wbn#the wizard the witch and the wild one#my oldest sister ass at the scene with ursulon i was GONE#fuck off#I hadn't cried this much at d&d since the end of sophomore year with adaine and aelwyn
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#polls#this is how I cope let me cope#also the phone call was from my grandma#and the random object in my bed was a glob of chocolate frosting#that somehow wasn’t sticking to anything#small blessings idk#the turkey thing I just decided most of it was too much work I just need to know the temp and time#the necklace was in my mom’s jewelry box and had a wine glass charm and it was either I threw it or I ripped it apart#I usually play viddy games in the evenings so randomly playing in the morning threw me off#my dad claims there’s a huge ass frog in a nearby pond I’ve never seen him tho#just applied for a job at a craft store opening soon cause fuck i can’t sit in this house anymore I’m going fuckshit crazy#my neighbors have taken me to dinner teice at different places and I ordered chicken Parm both times#then apologized#my cousin got me on dti YouTube somehow so I fired back with picrews#and I cried reading that one ‘fierce deity adopts link’ fanfic and also a ghiralink one
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guys. I'm freaking out I just had an Experience
#I've never known what to think of ghosts or whatever but like. I just had a full ass conversation with a dead relative#via a pendulum#it's been a WHILE since I cried this much but it wasn't a fully sad cry#it was cathartic. it was so many emotions but it was so nice#I literally do not have other explanations for what transpired#I try so fucking hard to keep it still before asking anything and my entire body was tensed up so as to not move it#Denny if you're reading this HIIIIIIIIIIIIII THANK YOUUUUUUUUUUU#I am absolutely feeling mental whiplash but also I am so grateful#OH! I asked her to give me a sign and sat in silence and then was like it's okay#-it doesn't have to be immediately. so a little while after I was on the phone with my best friend and the lid to the candle I'm burning-#-launched itself off my dresser. I checked and it wasn't wobbly so I couldn't have bumped it. & I could not have accidentally pushed-#-something into it. duuuuuuuuuuuuuuude. that was IT.#I feel like I sound like a crazy conspiracy theorist but like. I try so hard to cover all the bases and possible explanations#^BY THE WAY. I ASKED IF SHE THOUGHT PAUL WILLIAMS WAS JUST THE CUTEST LITTLE THING. AND SHE MADE IT SAY YES.#even in another realm she's my bestie 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺#real talk I absolutely adored her even though I didn't see her very often because she lived out of state#like there was just something about her that was so gregarious and fun and her partner is also very autistic so naturally I adore them both#her partner also has Rock Flavored Autism (and plant flavored autism) so every time I see him I ask what mining he recommends#so far I've only made my way out to one place he mentioned but it became one of my favorite mines I've been to ❤️
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i love how i come back to twst post about how much i hate idia for a few days and then leave again it's such a cycle
#auburn's rambles <3#i think about that time when people were shipping me w him a lot#and i don't think i ever really addressed how bad it made me feel#like i told people to stop yeah but now whenever i see idia i think about how upset and frustrated i was#like it keeps coming BACK i can't get it out of my HEAD#THIS GOT KINDA VENTISH WAIT#idk man it's late i should be asleep but Fuck i cannot stop thinking about how that got so out of hand#my poor lab partner had to deal w me that day LMAO i like. cried in front of her#and i don't know why my brain keeps coming back to it because nobody makes jokes like that anymore#and everyone who did sent me apologies which was so sweet#anyways hello ygys i think i just needed to get this off my chest goodnight#FOR CLARIFICATION I AM OK!!!! i think im just emotional rn and i did not expect to dump a whole ass essay here#muah muah love ygys thank u for being on my side i hope all of your pillows are cold and you have sweet dreams
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WORK FUCKING SUCKS
#kate talks#just had one of worst work weeks of my life just emotionally#I felt like i couldn’t do anything I had to send off so many questions and didn’t really get to work#and then at the very end of this no goo very bad week I finally get one of my questions answered so I can work#and then the session I’m working on crashes like five times 😭😭😭😭#so I had to get a ticket and didn’t get to work on my other session and it had to be deleted after all that work I spent on it last week#I didn’t even get to rework it#I’ve cried so hard earlier#luckily I get tomorrow off but FUCK#and I’m gonna get bitched out by my annoying ass supervisor#next week for these last two weeks WHICH HAVEN’T BEEN MY FAULT
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My mom got us fishing backpacks (off Temu 🤨) so I don't have to take my cutesy, covered-in-buttons-and-charms backpack out and risk losing smth!
They've got fishing rod holders, which is nice
#pikaposts#the other day my Lio pin fell off and bounced under the car and i was like nOOOOO and#crawled my disabled ass under there to get it back. what if i'd dropped him in the fucking lake. i would've cried
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the thing with autism right. is i know if i was having a full mental health crisis what i would end up doing is going to the emergency room and being like "hello, my name is (x) birthday (y), um i was hoping to talk to you about potential mental health inpatient care? i'm currently having a mental health crisis and don't think i can be trusted on my own" like if there's one thing i can be sure will live on in me no matter how hard the brainworms try. is my fucking customer service voice
#like itll be busted as fuck because ill be freaking out but you bet ill be sobbing my way through verbally drafting an email#ive done it before‚ like im a frustrated crier and once i start crying i cant turn it off so ive had a couple times where i had a breakdown#at work‚ cried about it a lot‚ and my lead pulled me into a meeting room after i calmed down to check in#and as soon as i started talking it just started again so i had to be like 'sorry th-this is just something m-m-my bod-dy does‚ i-i'm calm#m-mentally but i just c-cant turn this-is off‚ just try to i-ignore HIC it and f-f-focus-s on the w-wwwords‚#(tired of crytyping so just mentally fill it in yourself in everything else i say)#n they offered me more time to chill but im like no really i genuinely am calm‚ i calm down wayyy before my body does its gonna#keep doing this on and off all day‚ it takes hours for it to fully calm down and is on a hair trigger the entire time#so thinking about this will make it kick back up again no matter what unless we talk tomorrow‚ so if youre ok with bearing with me then cool#and theyre like. dang ok and just focused on what i said#or much more recently i was talking to my roommate‚ stopped‚ held up a finger + stood there silently for ten seconds‚#then was like 'sorry about that‚ i think i have to throw up. excuse me for a moment. what was that? oh gotcha yeah i'll message you if i#need anything‚ thank you'#and just typing it out like that it sounds like i was fine and just saw it coming a ways away. however that is not the case#i had had my covid booster and some other vaccine earlier that day‚ lost 5 vials of blood‚ eaten Nothing‚ drank only#acidic-ass apple juice‚ and had just hit my vape too hard#keeping it in once it made its presence known was a feat of will the likes of which have never been seen before#and still my sentences prevail
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I actually had the worst day I’ve had in awhile now but i survived it
#barely#im learning to lean on the people that care about me#i even cried on my mom tonight and i hate crying in front of people 😭😭#and it’s always been hard for me in general to talk to my mom especially but I’m learning to trust her and grow from our past#all that cheese and mushy shiz yeah yeah#work was insane tn and i was not prepared at all#i almost had a meltdown too but i kept it together and that’s when I called my co worker and she saved my ass#and my other coworker was trying to help me too that was off and was literally gonna leave her house to help me 🥺🥺🥺#it was just so bad fr#and my hours switching has been a twist for me too which happened to be a factor of today#but I made shit work but it still also was a mess at the same time lmao#it was a crazy ass day and I’m just glad it’s over now#a lot of good things happened today but the bad was bad#im just glad I didn’t hold in my feelings and was also not too prideful to ask for help#im drinkin my wine and hittin my pen bc fuck the cold I’ll just be a vape god for now#that was kinda cringe but I’m drunk so don’t take me seriously besides the parts of this that are my feelings 🤣#also got a card from one of my coworkers and my boss with a Starbucks gift card 🫶🏼 I was so surprised#that mfer wrote ‘crazy lady’ on the envelope 🙃🙃🤣🤣#funniest guy I know right there lmao#we have too much fun and he only works like once a week bc he’s like 40 or 50 something with a million different jobs bc he’s the crazy one#today was a roller coaster basically 🤣🤣 but i did the shit and somehow managed to keep shit together#im just ready for the holidays to be over so work can not be super busy anymore#but i am excited for the holidays it’s gonna be amazing i think 🫶🏼 not gonna be hung up on fake love this time and will be able to enjoy it#fully#for the first time in too long#last Christmas was so bad it makes me sick thinking about it#fuck that guy so much#just realizing this was amazing wow#so hype to have a clear and free mind this holiday without our ‘relationship’ looming over me#proud of me for multiple things rn 🥹
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...
#waiting ever so patiently for ppl to fall asleep so that I can microwave some mashed potatoes...#in the past two days I have not had enough food#yeah that's all the time and yes the calorie deficit is kicking my ass#but fuck I am so hungry rn and have been since early this morning#once ppl are in bed I'm going to warm up potatoes and peas#pls godoka let there be a little more for me#in my own place I'll be able to use the bathroom and eat food whenever I want#I won't even have to expect shame#I won't worry about earning my food by working my ass off for someone else#I'll just get to eat when I want and in peace not in the dark and as quiet as a mouse#I'll light myself a candle because why not and help myself to homemade soups#i really want to cook for some reason but using the kitchen pisses ppl off bc they can hear the sounds of my existence#i hate that if i don't do enough to them that they think i just lose the right to eat bc they perceive me as a waste of resources#i stood up all night and wandered around crying over the same old same old... came home at like 5am#i let myself sleep in and ik they think i haven't contributed enough to earn any food today#“what good is a man if he only eats and sleeps?”#that's all they see#trying not to smoke and trying to cope in other ways like writing about it#at least school is tomorrow and I'll get to see my dear profs again#i cried reading their happy thanksgiving messages over email last night
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do you ev. do you ever. think about. head in hands
#personal stuff#ragbros#HEAD IN HANDS. THE BROTHERS#fucking . christ. kaeya only going to diluc when he needs something because he feels like that's the only time he's allowed to#and diluc helping him out every time with very little coercion because . because he. auauugh.#oh my god. [through tears] oh my god. the brothers.#weeps and sobs and cries they are like THIS CLOSE. TO BEING NORMAL. BUT SO FAR AWAY AT THE SAME TIME#can you two just talk to each other about your feelings#instead of assuming that your brother hates you based on your own feelings and massive guilt#diluc's whole thing makes me so insane cause like. once he realizes Ohhh kaeya did [does] care about me. [post-midsummer island adventure]#his mindset is that of just standing where he is and being himself and if kaeya wants to be around him he'll come to him#and he wants to accept him with open arms but also. he feels like kaeya doesn't want to be around him#because he spends the whole time lying his ass off or otherwise showing that he's uncomfortable / doesn't trust him enough to be himself#and kaeya HAS gone to him but only when he's needed to for someone else's benefit or been coerced into it#the same way that he only refers to himself as diluc's brother when diluc isn't around to hear it or tell him he's wrong#because he feels like diluc doesn't want him around and he isn't allowed to return to that part of his life after everything#and so he accepts that and moves on with his family in the knights and like .AUGH#elzer saying diluc grumbles but he doesnt mean it. please come back we all miss you#i am smacking kaeya over the head with a cardboard tube YOUR BROTHER MISSES YOU!!!!!!!#YOUR BROTHER WANTS YOU AROUND AS MUCH AS YOU WANT HIM AROUND!!!!!! MY GOD!!!!!#AUUUGH.#they make me so. they make me ssooooo fucking normal. you have no idea [in tears]
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