#and fucking cried my ass off
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#AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAOSDIJDEO23FGRIHP3RJOHIVR0EJOEFFVHIEFN#COLIN WAS SO SWEET AND WOULDN'T GIVE UP ON THE MONSTER PLUS HIM PLAYING OFF GUILLERMO FOR A BIT#AND NADJA WAS SO FUCKING SLAY LIKE OMFG YES GIRL GET THEIR ASSES#AND NANDOR WAS SO PETHEDIC AND HE WENT WARRIOR AND NIXDOR WAS SO GOOD AND WHEN HE TRIED TO SAY HE WANTED TO TALK#TO GUILLERMO PLUS HE BROUGH GUILLERMO BACK WHEN HE FORGOT EVERYTHING EVEN THO IT WOULD MEAN HE'D BE BACK DOING STUFF FOR HIM#AND LIKE HE'LL HAVE HIM BACK BUT HE KNOWS IT'S FOR THE BETTER#AND I ALMOST CRIED#AND GUILLERMO BEING SO DONE IS FAIR AF BUT HE STILL CARES LIKE HOW THE VAMPS STILL CARE ABOUT HIM#AND AND AND LASZLO BEING A BIT OF A DICK WAS DONE IN A WAY THAT WORKS#AND HIM WITH COLIN WORKING ON THE MONSTER#AND#AIIDFIEH2UEGUOF2U9EGUFOEFIHWPUGJLEWJOFHRJ#what we do in the shadows#wwdits#wwdits spoilers#wwdits season 6#wwdits season 6 spoilers#wwdits s6#wwdits s6 spoilers#brought to you by ms paint#I had to WALK AROUND MY HOUSE AFTER#were they perfect? no#did jerry suck? YES#BUT AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
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I hate hate HATE when people say I'm "having an attitude" with them, bc I'm literally not until AFTER they say that. And thats not even "an attitude", it's me being annoyed and frustrated bc youre saying im having an attitude when im NOT.
Like what does that even mean. I'm just autistic.
#blah blah blah#vent#like i was just responding to my name being called???? i literally just went “huh?” which i do all the time?????#and when you walk off mumbling shit that i cant hear bc we're dozens of feet away from each other in a loud ass store#and i come over and ask what you wanted#and youre like “i said we'll talk when you drop the attitude” or whatever and have the audacity to smirk at me like its a joke and i have#any idea wtf youre talking about#like i got so frustrated and upset about it that i legit cried for like an hour after that. while still doing my work bc i just wanna get#done and go home.#this is about one of my managers btw. if it wasn't obvious#like shes cool most of the time. but she says shit sometimes that make me wanna quit on the fucking spot
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inspired by my off the hook (irl) playlist
#splatoon#splatoon 3#off the hook#chappell roan#took everything in me not to name the artist 'chappell roe'#and i mean EVERYTHING#normally i keep my silly little remixes to myself but this one simply went too hard#i am once again NEVER EVER BEATING THE MARINA ALLEGATIONS#you know that bitch sits in her room on friday nights mixing her gay ass songs with even gayer ass songs#FUCK OFF MARINA GET YOUR OWN PERSONALITY#AND FACE#nintendo music#mashups#yes obviously i cried making this
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went window shopping in those baggy jeans nct love so much
#had the absolute worst time at therapy lmfaooooooooooo like making progress but it was so triggering! so i needed a few hours of just#headphones on looking at prettie stuff#want that lilla my hat so bad u dont get itttttttt i found a whole ass MUMIN STORE literally cried#anyways#love the proportions of this fit i love wearing this sweater w the cropped jacket and also big pants i love volume#however i wish the cold would fuck off so i don’t have to wear winter clothes anymore thanks#also last thing i wanna say i need my hair cut BAD#u can rb etc etc#visage
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sorry for only saying this type of shit lately but i kinda wanna drive a car straight into a brick wall at the highest speed possible
#trying to keep it together so bad because i already know the problems and solutions and whatnot but i cannot do anything#i desperately just need to do something. accomplish any task. actually several would be nice. but i cannot stand just letting life go by#while i watch other people have the things i want. or even metaphorically living my dream like. that should be me why am i settling for thi#i hate even talking about this because i feel so stupid when i know it's not even a real tangible problem and that i actually DO have real#problems to tackle and the ability to do so but i'm choosing to be upset over the stupidest things i could possibly be sad about#and i can't even be sad about it in a normal way i'm cycling through like several different reactions to smth that isn't even real#or if it is real i literally do not have tanglible evidence for it one way or another like i'm driving myself insane for no reason#i can't even get catharsis because all i'm doing is digging a deeper hole for something i never should've gone back into in the first place#because i KNOW how i am i KNOW how i react to things and i still chose to do it lmao.#and i continue to choose to go through this shit instead of actively trying to change my life because... i'm lazy? and stupid? idk#negative self-talk isn't gonna get me to do anything either so let's just say i'm feeling particularly unmotivated like usual#i hated being a teenager but i really do miss when all my problems just amounted to 'someone was mean to me on tumblr today :(' or i failed#a test in chemistry or something. like i yearn for that simplicity becasue at this point all i'm doing is ruining my own life LMAO#i'm too scared to live i'm too scared to die so i just sit here and fantasize that life could be amazing if i wait#and i'll magically get everything i've ever wanted if i just wait long enough. and i know it isn't true and i still wait for it to happen.#because honestly like. i think deep down i am just convinced i will fail at anything i do when that shouldn't be what scares me.#what scares me should be never even allowing myself to fail because i never tried to do anything at all with myself or my life#like. wake the fuck up. get off your ass and put in the effort. learn some skills. gain independence and stability and discipline and do it#just live please i'm begging you just live so i can be happy don't i deserve to be happy... why am i not letting myself be happy#i'm literally keeping myself trapped in this negative feedback loop ON PURPOSE because teehee shiny toy#and it doesn't matter if the love is real it doesn't matter how i feel like i'm just using it as a distraction i can't say it's motivation#because it's barely motivated me at all. i have to start being realistic. 25 & just realizing you actually have to participate in your life#anyways. i've cried i've agonized i've pictured killing myself in 30 different ways. i think the only way i'm gonna feel better is#to just actually try this time without giving up. wish me luck
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hey uncle nina do u happen to have that one para where u talked abt how jersey couldn't say ily during sbst and stan was like super sad abt it? i tried looking for it on ur blog but i can't find it</3
t-the...
tHE DIVORCE PARA???>?@?@?@?3/2/
YOU WANT THE FUCKDISNFN DIVORCE PARA????!!!?!?!
noooooOOOOOOoOooOo!!!!!!!!! :'(
i......Siiiigh.
goddamnit, guys. what happened to 'we hope you heal, uncle nina!' wAS IT NOT ENOUGH THAT I DIED ONCE??? I GOTTA DIE TWICE?!
but....because i love you very much, i will link it for you.
edit: oh god, i am reading it rn and it is soooo rough, i'm am so sorry. cringe. goofy aa. oof. later today, i might reopen it and just so we can suffer i will have it start mid sbst ( which, assumes i can write the smut which, no promises ) and then have it end with ravenstan leaving ( fuuuck lmao, like that fight does not even end there, we're in H-E-L-L holy shit ) because i hate my life but...anyways....
without further ado,
Please Enjoy The WORST
( and i do mean THE /WOOOORST/ )
Part Of Your Day...Maybe Your Life.
-uncle nina, who is going to request a lobotomy at her doctors appointment to forgot the divorce happened.
#yall would do this to me#right before my doctors appt#GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD#no i am so sad i am actually so sad and this is just a fragment of it the whole thing is so fucking upsetting and sad#LIKE HE WANTED TO SAY IT HE JUST CANT HE HAS TRAUMA LIKE HE MEANS IT THO HE AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA#it was so horrible like the second raven realizes that hes just#been saying i love you this whole time#and jersey has just been saying me too#FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK#HORRIBLE#AND DURING SBST TOO LIKE MAN WHAT THE FUCK#MID SBST LIKE THAT IS JAIL WORTHY THEY WERE HAPPY#and when i tell u ravenstan NEVER EVER EVER GETS MAD EVER you know it was GNARLY u know it ruined his life </3#lover boy king wow its so horrible bc like no one has ever loved anyone more that jk loves rs too hes just a weapon#and doesnt know how to emote and turned that part of his brain off and cant switch it back on and its scary and#dO YOU SEE HIM STRUGGLIN LIKE JK NEVER EVER EVER BEGS ANYONE AND HE WAS ON HIS HANDS AND KNEES#SCARY ASS JK LIKE SCARY AS FUCK LIKE WHIMPERING AND SHAKIN HE WAS SO SCARED HE WAS INCONSOLABLE#and it triggerin a rs bp episode and him goin out into the snow in a tshirt and shorts and Leaving which is jks WORST FEAR#like losing him AGAIN???? AND ITS HIS FAULt#help im gonna end it all if you dont hear from me im ruined#jk cried after that btw for the first time in a very long time#and he did it alone and in rs clothes knees to his chest :(
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Got a headache from sobbing after binging WBN and most of it was on ep 23 this is evil and nasty fuck you Brennan
#worlds beyond number#wbn#the wizard the witch and the wild one#my oldest sister ass at the scene with ursulon i was GONE#fuck off#I hadn't cried this much at d&d since the end of sophomore year with adaine and aelwyn
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i love how i come back to twst post about how much i hate idia for a few days and then leave again it's such a cycle
#auburn's rambles <3#i think about that time when people were shipping me w him a lot#and i don't think i ever really addressed how bad it made me feel#like i told people to stop yeah but now whenever i see idia i think about how upset and frustrated i was#like it keeps coming BACK i can't get it out of my HEAD#THIS GOT KINDA VENTISH WAIT#idk man it's late i should be asleep but Fuck i cannot stop thinking about how that got so out of hand#my poor lab partner had to deal w me that day LMAO i like. cried in front of her#and i don't know why my brain keeps coming back to it because nobody makes jokes like that anymore#and everyone who did sent me apologies which was so sweet#anyways hello ygys i think i just needed to get this off my chest goodnight#FOR CLARIFICATION I AM OK!!!! i think im just emotional rn and i did not expect to dump a whole ass essay here#muah muah love ygys thank u for being on my side i hope all of your pillows are cold and you have sweet dreams
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Man. I do love when the character is Scared and fucking MAD ABOUT IT. Going from crying and cowering to snapping and biting the MOMENT a hand is extended to them. Trying to help them or otherwise just work with them somehow and the entire fucking time they're kicking and screaming and complaining and being disparaging and stuck up and just kind of a brat about it. ASSUME HARMFUL INTENT BY DEFAULT, get THEM before they GET YOU‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️ And NEVER trust a helping hand ESPECIALLY when it feeds you.
#i worry a lot about moe being a difficult character and i absolutely just. mani just fucking sucks ass. no saving that thang#but then it's like. i was just so completely and utterly endeared to sissel. captured my entire heart#THE SMUGNESS TOO. THE SELF RIGHTEOUSNESS. the NEED to have complete control to Protect everyone#and just. having extremely short sighted ways of doing it. the way sissel is still so painfully childish drives me insane.#just added the esp when it feeds you part and realizing how ironic that is w sissel bc that's Literally#how laios was able to win a little bit of trust. HOWEVER. this is me talking. from the heart.#either way something is just Up w me tonight i guess i've just been crying on and off about it LMFAOOO#in my fucking feelings..... whatever man ....#my biggest takeaway here is i can make mani worse.#maybe even still beloved... there is a chance......... it could be possible.#i'm also just extremely fucked up about sissel like. if it wasn't obvious. everything about him is driving me insane actually.#the mother/child imagery/motif. the fucking lion. i cried tears of relief when i saw#that the gang did put sissel in a bed after it all. like i could not fucking relax until i knew where he was#and i so. sooooo deeply and desperately just wanted someone to put him in a bed. for gods fucking sake.#don't even get me started. on everything else.#i'm just never gonna recover.#moe tag#mani tag#<- tagging them bc IN SPIRIT. this post is also about them
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i hate group work
#context uhh:#basically for a german project i was paired with two people -> one who is my friend and one who I don't really like#and the one I didn't really like did one slide#and me and my friend did like. 6#so then we decided to put a picture in and came up with an idea to replace one of the other kid's ideas#so she got mad#deleted her slide#and removed her access from the slide#and me and my friend were like#what the fuck??? we didn't do anything#i almost cried and then had to go to the bathroom to cool off#it sucked#I fucking hate group work man ☹️☹️#i have to do it in the same group again tomorrow#i think shes sped based on what my teacher said (“her mind doesn't work the same as ours”)#so I do want to cut her some slack#but still#she had some really good ideas too and I liked her slide#we just didn't like the green cake man#anyways. long ass rant#these are a lot of tags#lalalala#ahem#professional yapper#yap yap yap#just yappin#certified yapper
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Looks like I just lost another close friend to guy who isn't worth a pile of dog shit. 😊
#my best friend no less#i cried about this shit practically all afternoon but i'm all out of tears and now i'm just pissed off.#this shit has been going on for a long ass time but i've finally reached my breaking point with it#i love her#but she is delusional#and it kills me to say that#but that whole “relationship” (if you even want to call it that) is fake. all he cares about is money not her#the worst part is that she knows it too#oh but she “loves him” and “wants to give him one last chance” girl what the fuck?#oh but better yet he dumped her once 2 years ago already and i've hated his punk ass since#never should've gotten back tother after that and i told her as much even back then#all he does is make her cry#not do anything arount their town house#and sit on his ass and watch tv or sleep when he's not working#that's the tame stuff too i could say sooo much worse but i'm actually not trying to air her dirty laundry out her#i'm just pissed off#but suddenly IM the bad guy when tell her i won't support her or this “relationship” when she told me they were getting back together today#this is after i helped her and her parents ans brother move all her stuff out of the town house last Monday and back to her parents place#after she told me they were done for good#but IM the bad guy for bringing up all of fhe reasons listed above and all of the REALLY bad things about the relationship#when i tell her i won't be supporting her any longer and that i'll be walking away if she goes back to him#best part is her family agrees with me and they tell her all the things i say about him and then some#but when i go out on the line and put my heart down on the table for her and all i get back is a text saying:#“i don't really like how you're texting right now so we'll talk about this later.”#girl#i don't know whether or not i want to cry harder or strangle her#i think it's both#so yeah i think i just lost my best friend to a guy who doesn't remotly deserve her and everything kicks rocks rn#it's just like my other friend all over again#why do my friend have such dog shit taste in men
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My mom got us fishing backpacks (off Temu 🤨) so I don't have to take my cutesy, covered-in-buttons-and-charms backpack out and risk losing smth!
They've got fishing rod holders, which is nice
#pikaposts#the other day my Lio pin fell off and bounced under the car and i was like nOOOOO and#crawled my disabled ass under there to get it back. what if i'd dropped him in the fucking lake. i would've cried
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#mother's day dinner was hard#it was also so great to be with my family#we laughed a lot#but i just kept looking down the driveway#waiting to see his big ass come sauntering over with that stupid grin on his face#and his dirty heydudes#but of course#he didn't#and he should have been there#between the jokes and stories and laughing#i had to hold my mom while she cried#and i always cry when she does#and everything just felt a little off#not bad#but there was definitely an empty space hanging over us all#im not sure we will ever feel normal again#i really fucking miss him#feel free to ignore me
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Man I can't believe I had the chance to go to a performing arts school up through middle school and I fuckin quit after 6 months just because I got bullied. BRO YOUR HOMEWORK WAS POETRY!! YOU HAD TO PRACTICE DANCING TO COTTON EYE JOE AS YOUR BIG UNIT TEST. GYM CLASS HAD A CIRCUS UNIT!! YOU HAD A WHOLE DAILY CLASS ON IMPROV!!! YOU FOOL!! YOU ABSOLUTE IMBICILE!! YOU COULD HAVE BEEN A YOUTUBER!!! YOU COULD HAVE BEEN ONE OF THOSE TWEENAGERS GETTING LOADED BY MAKING SHITTY YOUTUBE SHORTS IN 2008-14!! But noooOoooOOOoo little miss Noellie (who WANTED TO GO!! who worked SO HARD and sent in an application essay and did an INTERVIEW to get in!!) couldn't handle disruptive classmates or little scuffles and petty grudges and general Attitude of the other students and cried to mommy to put her back in public school. I am EATING MY HAIR over what Could Have Been. I COULD BE SOMEONE'S ANNOYING YOUTUBER!! I could be a DISGRACED DISNEY CHANNEL STAR!! I could be an America's Got Talent winner! A mild to moderately successful comedian! I could be making short films!! But no no no precious thin skinned baby me heard a few new cus words and watched a teacher get heckled and begged to give up The Dream in favor of?? Quiet math tests?? I am such a fucking quitter I quit everything the second it gets too hard I always take the out as soon as it's offered what's my fucking damage.....
#I had SO MUCH POTENTIAL and I SQUANDERED IT!! weak ass third grade PUSSY! Your life could have been SO SICK!!#or you could at least be addicted to cocain or something interesting like that!! Boring ass goody two shoes always just staying home doing#NOTHING bitch make a REAL FRIEND go to a God Damn PARTY live a little instead of just hiding in the closet eating saltine crackers for years#waiting for it to be quiet outside before you ever even toed the line#mentally ill self-isolating motherfucker#you could have shrugged it off you could have GROWN A PAIR and FOUGHT BACK but you just ran and cried for mommy#victim complex little bitch baby always whining and exaggerating and making shit up fucking LIAR I am you and I KNOW what you did and I know#you knew it wasn't the truth and you regretted it the moment it came out of uour mouth but once you'd said it you just swallowed it back and#doubled down incriminating or discrediting others with your lies. For why? Because you didn't like them? You could have ruined someone's#life you wouldn't have hesitated mayhe you did and don't even remember because you cant keep your mouth shut with your pants ablaze#manipulative little shit and to WHAT END? Pity? Sympathy? Attention? Entertainment?? What was even going on in your stupid ugly head?#This is a callout post for my third grade self that possessed demon ass evil nine year old. That kid drowned anthills in olive oil and#poisoned a wild animal once. That kid cut plants just to see if they oozed. That kid modified her whole ass personality on a dime for a boy#she had a crush on. INSTANTLY dropped a LIFELONG CULTURAL ALLEGIANCE (thats what football teams were like back then in our town) because he#said he had the opposite allegiance??? What the fuck? girl had NO integrity none zip zilch.#No empthy either that kid looked at everyone else on earth like they were friggin space aliens and she was the only one with Real feelings.#bitch literally thought like 'I have Feelings they just have Reactions' bitch what the fuckkkkk#that nine year old was fucked the hell up!!!#and for literally NO REASON!! No cause!! Just born fucking evil and weird. jesus fuck.#Evil ass bitch caused her autistic brother months of nightmares and then laughed about it and wrote poetry about how evil he was because he?#was a kid??? Normal sibling rivalry taken way way way too far defamatory ass statements#and this girl had NO CONSEQUENCES because she could lie and manipulate her way out of ANYTHING she had the baby eyes and the helpless charm#and played dumb soooo well . read people like some calculative evil AI scanning their faces for microexpressions and overanalyzing each word#choice like holy shit. its not That Deep. pretentious shit trying to play 5D chess on a checkers board.#Manipulating shit just to see what happens?? zero awareness?? no asking just skipping straight to testing for yourself??#'What happens if I step on this' it fucking breaks 'what does that taste like?' it's not fucking yours to mess with 'if I hit this person#how will they respond?' they'll be upset use your goddamn judgement you are NINE not TWO do you even care a little about any other person??#Are you just living in some other reality???#callout post for the fucking demon child inside of me#im so goddamn problematic I'm so so so deeply mentally disturbed and broken for no reason
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#I’m so fucking sick of feeling everything to my core#cried for reasons I didn’t think I was going to today…#i thought we would be adults and move on with our lives but nah#got told I have internalised homophobia because ‘snitched’ on two staff in fucking 2021 for having sex in a bathroom while CHILDREN were on#property literally in the same building DOWN THE HALL! and the windows were open!#as if I wasn’t admin staff and obligated to report that to the director#if kids hadn’t been there then I wouldn’t have said shit but they were!#all this coming from the person who told me my femme identity is reductive#so now I’m apparently homophobic and not good at being a lesbian but apparently I’m also heteronormative and cis#according to this person#dumb dumb idiot ass#the mango diaries#i know I ranted a ton in these tags but I actually fucking had my whole birthday week just fucked over because she can’t fucking let things#lie#i just dropped one of my favorite people in the whole world off at the airport as these messages were coming through#and then driving in the snow with one of my other favorite people when I just couldn’t keep it together anymkre and started crying#she makes me feel so fucking small and I hate it#i was already having a hard time mentally today and last night but FUCK#this just was too much#and to know I was betrayed by another friend I trusted who told her I was the one that reported her… fucking hell#I’m just… ugh it just fucking hurts and I want to curl up and cry some more
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the thing with autism right. is i know if i was having a full mental health crisis what i would end up doing is going to the emergency room and being like "hello, my name is (x) birthday (y), um i was hoping to talk to you about potential mental health inpatient care? i'm currently having a mental health crisis and don't think i can be trusted on my own" like if there's one thing i can be sure will live on in me no matter how hard the brainworms try. is my fucking customer service voice
#like itll be busted as fuck because ill be freaking out but you bet ill be sobbing my way through verbally drafting an email#ive done it before‚ like im a frustrated crier and once i start crying i cant turn it off so ive had a couple times where i had a breakdown#at work‚ cried about it a lot‚ and my lead pulled me into a meeting room after i calmed down to check in#and as soon as i started talking it just started again so i had to be like 'sorry th-this is just something m-m-my bod-dy does‚ i-i'm calm#m-mentally but i just c-cant turn this-is off‚ just try to i-ignore HIC it and f-f-focus-s on the w-wwwords‚#(tired of crytyping so just mentally fill it in yourself in everything else i say)#n they offered me more time to chill but im like no really i genuinely am calm‚ i calm down wayyy before my body does its gonna#keep doing this on and off all day‚ it takes hours for it to fully calm down and is on a hair trigger the entire time#so thinking about this will make it kick back up again no matter what unless we talk tomorrow‚ so if youre ok with bearing with me then cool#and theyre like. dang ok and just focused on what i said#or much more recently i was talking to my roommate‚ stopped‚ held up a finger + stood there silently for ten seconds‚#then was like 'sorry about that‚ i think i have to throw up. excuse me for a moment. what was that? oh gotcha yeah i'll message you if i#need anything‚ thank you'#and just typing it out like that it sounds like i was fine and just saw it coming a ways away. however that is not the case#i had had my covid booster and some other vaccine earlier that day‚ lost 5 vials of blood‚ eaten Nothing‚ drank only#acidic-ass apple juice‚ and had just hit my vape too hard#keeping it in once it made its presence known was a feat of will the likes of which have never been seen before#and still my sentences prevail
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