#and fuck like. i vape ok i never really smoke

[nothingweirdhere]

i’ve been taking a bit of a break from vaping but i was bumming cigarettes (or taking drags off someone else’s) all night and fuuuuuuuck why is something so bad for you so goddamn good

[jadeddangel]

Creepypast & Marble Hornets headcannons:

Jeff the Killer:

100% sneaks into your house/ room just to wake you up randomly to spook you

If he ever took you on a date it would 100% be to the cheapest cinema in town cause my man's is broke

Your the breadwinner, you can make $2 a month and still be the breadwinner

He buys axe body spray and sags his jeans like a middle school boy and you can't convince me otherwise

Opened a nesquick Powdered milk tub with a table saw cause he couldn't get him open

Doesn't know how to undo child proof locks on meds no matter how many times you explain it to him

"No Jeff your not listening. Press down and then turn it," your voice scolded

"I'm trying! Damn you woman!!" Jeff yelled back

Yea, he never opened the jar right

Masky:

It started with you and Tim dating and then when you met masky you trying getting to know him

He ignores you at first, more focused on doing his job then dealing with his other half's lover

He's smart, he'll pick locks open jars and complete puzzles in no time flat

He doesn't make money but Tim does so indirectly he's the breadwinner

He'll start hanging out with you after getting tired of sleeping on the downstairs couch

He's not nice, like at all, he's very blunt and when it comes to any type of criticism, constructive or not, he's pointing out every miniscule flaw

Don't bother lying to him, he can see right through it and it pisses him off

It doesn't matter your gender or your sex. He's turning around when you change any form of your clothes. He's big on privacy

"Masky? C'mon masky, it's just a sweater you don't have to turn. I'm wearing a shirt underneath, " you sighed, pulling your sweater off

Masky shook his head. "I don't care sometimes you don't wear a shirt under them, and i don't wanna see your nipples," masky spoke bluntly

Yeaaaa, if you can't tell your sex life is totally (not) amazing with man

Tim:

As I said before Tim has a job, he Linda needs it to pay for his smoking habits

Speaking of smoking, he hates when you do any kind of drugs, he doesn't want you to end up like he did

He's surprising clingy behind closed doors and really likes being your little spoon

He constantly takes showers and cleans your shared home, even if no one except for you, him and masky will see it.

He has this bad habit of just buying whatever he craves, so when he goes to the store, expect the bill to be rather high

As I said before he's clingy behind closed doors but when it comes to pda the most he'll do is lock your pinkies together

"Tim, pleaseeeee I just wanna hold your hand! Just five minutes, and if you don't like it, you don't have to keep holding my hand. " You tried to bargain

Tim sighed "fine fine but you're giving me your box of cigarettes. Don't think I didn't smell them on you"

He has a sharp nose, so there's no point in trying to hide things from him

Hoodie:

Hoodie was beyond confused when he first met you, he had a whole "who what when where why?" Moment

You and brain both pay for everything so there's not really a breadwinner

Hoodie is rather quiet, it's not because he's awkward or shy, he just has nothing to say

Hoodie Hates coffee, he's more of a tea or energy drink guy

I hate to say this(no I dont), but he's a stoner, he hates all vape or smoking products except for weed

He usually sticks to weed vapes since it's less work and he can be a bit lazy when it comes to that

I mean his hygiene is ok he doesn't really shave or trim any thing but his beard but yknow he do him

Speaking of , he leaves his beard shavings all over the sink and leaves the toilet seat up

"HOODIE! GET YOUR BUTT IN HERE NOW" You shouted to get the man's attention

Hoodie walked in. "What?" He said monotonely

You pointed at the sink and then the toilet "pick up your fucking mess!!"

Hoodie shook his head "Nah I'm good. Thanks for the offer, though. "

You would probably try and beat him up if he couldn't just wollop our ass

Brian:

He's such a sweet boy,it like he's made out of cotton candy

He's mostly did cleaning and cooking on top of his job but after switching back from hoodie, he's out of commission for like a week

He picks up after himself, and does his own laundry and there's never beard trimmings in the sink

He occasionally forgets to put the toilet seat down but it's rather rare

He's not too clingy but he does cuddle up sometimes

HES A FUCKING FURNACE WHEN HE SLEEPS

"Brian pleaseee get off!! It's the middle of summer! It's too hot to be cuddling" you huffed sleepily

"Shhh just let me hold you.." Brian muttered

Ticci Toby:

Your the breadwinner. Period

You think this man has a job? Hah funny

He hates when he tics especially when you are trying to have intimate moments together

You guys have to be silly during sex especially when he has a verbal tic and just yells bird

"Fuck toby right there~" you moaned out holding onto his shoulders tightly

"I'm so c-*whistles* shit sorry~" toby moaned out a bit embarrassed

"Toby it's ok it's normal~.." you muttered a bit trying to keep your voice even

Toby nodded "fuck I lov-Birds!" Toby shouted

You both looked at eachother before bursting out laughing just holding eachother close

Overall aside from Toby's horrible moodswings at times and his "work" you guys have a pretty helpful relationship

Slenderman:

No, Just no

This man is toxic asf when you guys first meet, definitely a manipulator

He tones it down after a bit but still gaslights you into getting what he wants

When he gets angry, please down run from him- he will track you down and may or may not resort to physical violence to get you to learn your lesson

If you ask about the missing children he WILL gaslight you into thinking that's he's told you before and it hurts that you forgot and won't tell you again

Sex? What sex? You think he would let you even get close enought to see that shit happen hah very funny

"Slenderman? Cmon I'm sorry you know I didn't mean to hurt you.." you muttered softly

"No. I already told you, and you forgot.. it is insensitive of you and unwise of me to tell you again, " he responded through your mind. And though he doesn't have eyes, you could only assume he was glaring

He's not healthy for you, but you've got yourself into this for life and there's only 1 way to get out

Eyeless jack:

Just like Jeff he'll sneak into your room

You literally can't get rid of him

He won't talk or anything, just stand and stares

He doesn't cuddle and he barely touches you

He definitely tried to offer you a kidney as a way of telling you he appreciates you

No hygiene whatsoever, he doesn't shave and it takes a month before you even get him to shower

He mostly just grumbles and groans to let you know he understands what your saying

He's really smart, puzzles, locks ,and riddles are no match for him

He's blunt, when he does talk it's rare, bit it's honest and unfiltered

You guys barely have sex and honestly you've probably never seen his face

"Jack, please!! I just wanna see your face, " you whined, laying yourself over his lap

"I said no, and if you keep asking, I'll eat you. Literally, " Jack retorted

Yeaaaa he meant it literally and you could tell

[bingwriterxo]

emergency

pairing: vada cavell x reader

summary: in which vada goes through a troubling time

warnings: none

word count: 500+

author's note: i think crack-fic-vada is my favorite thing to write

Vads <3 (8:16pm): SOS

Vads <3 (8:16pm): 911

Vads <3 (8:16pm): SOS

You glanced at your phone, annoyed at the incessant vibrating while you were trying to study, and your eyes widened when you saw your girlfriend’s texts. You scrambled to answer her, anxiety flooding through your veins.

You (8:17pm): whats going on???

You (8:17pm): are u ok???

Vads <3 (8:17pm): get over here asap.

Vads <3 (8:17pm): pls im gonna cry

You shot out of your chair, didn’t bother with grabbing a coat or your wallet or your keys as you rushed out of your room, and nearly tripped down the stairs with your speed. You slipped your shoes on quickly, called out to your mom to let her know you were leaving, and then slammed the door shut behind you, breaking out into a sprint.

Vada lived a mile away, on the other side of town. Your lungs stung and your legs burned as you ran, not stopping for a moment, even when you felt like your body was going to shut down on you, even when you swore you were tearing a hole in the sole of your sneakers.

You bounded up her front steps and practically face-planted into her door before pushing it open, knowing the Cavells never kept it locked.

“Vada!” you called, hastily making your way to her room. “Vada, I’m here!”

You didn’t knock. You just barged into her room, and then you stilled at what you saw. It looked like a tornado had blown through her bedroom: her blankets were hanging off her window sill, her pillows were strewn around the floor, her books had all been pulled off her bookshelf. She sat in the middle of the disaster, on the floor, her knees pressed against her chest and her face burrowed in her arms.

“Vads?” you asked, careful not to step on any of her belongings as you ventured further in. She looked up, her eyes wild and wide, her breathing hard. “What’s going on? What is it?”

“I--" She inhaled sharply and clenched her eyes shut. You swore her lip was trembling as you knelt beside her, a hand rubbing soothing circles on her back. “I--”

“It’s okay, baby. You can talk to me,” you whispered, trying to keep your voice calm. You glanced around the room, wondering what could have happened to make Vada explode like that.

She looked at you, took a deep breath in, and then all at once said, “I lost my vape.”

You froze, disbelief settling in your stomach. “You--you lost your vape?” It took a moment for the statement to process in your mind, and once it did, you shook your head. “You texted me ‘911’...because you lost your vape?! I thought you were dying!”

“Baby, I am dying,” she argued. “How am I supposed to live without nicotine?”

“You’re the worst. You know that right?” You sighed and stood, extending your hand for her to take. “C’mon, let’s go to the smoke shop. I’ll buy you a new one.”

Her eyes lit up, a grin breaking out on her face. “Really?” She grabbed your hand and hoisted herself up. “Yay!”

She skipped out of her room, leaving you standing in the middle of it. You sighed as you looked around a final time. “Un-fucking-believable.”

bonus: when you and vada returned from the smoke shop, her vape safely protected in her pocket, and you walked into her room, you paused.

“vada…”

she hummed and looked at you. “yeah, babe?”

you pointed at her desk, where a familiar object sat out in the open. “is that your old vape?”

“...oops.”

[goldsbitch]

I could tell them where you were that night

part 3 to I gave so many signs

summary: They shouldn't. They really shouldn't...But they did.

warning: present + flashbacks, mature content, cheating, self pleasure, alcohol and smoking, typos

song fic (disclaimer: rights belong to the respectable owners)

The Alibi - Dylan delicate - Taylor Swift

But if there was a crime If there was a body, if there was a knife If you told a real good, real bad lie I'd be standing by your side

Both of them knew this was not going to end well. This screamed "bad idea" on all levels. He should have just turned and run back home. She should have gone straight back to the bar as soon as she saw his unmistakable figure. There was no one to diffuse the tension, all of her friends were back upstairs ordering another drink. Nobody to play pretend to.

"So you're a smoker now," Charles said with a hint of disgust. She'd cursed herself for ever picking up the habit. He had never made her nervous back in the day, maybe she was cashing it in all now retroactively. Stood there like a lamb waiting for someone else to decide her destiny. Totally at his mercy and he had no idea. "Yeah, for a moment I was. Now just these," she pointed to the latest trendy vape in her hand, which Charles mistook for a cigarette. "Ah. Cool." "Not really," she said and inhaled extra large dose of fruity smoke just to breathe it in his face. The regular rules of proximity didn't seem to apply to to them. If he had been standing closer to her, he'd have to be touching her. "So, you're a runner now?" she took the opportunity she looked him up and down, trying not to let her imagination run too wild. "Always was." "No, you were not," she laughed genuinely. "What are you trying to play at here?" She was right. Charles picked up running with his first real girlfriend. "And what a bizarre thing anyway - to go for a run after a night out," she pointed out and he smirked, as both of them knew she got him with that. "I should not be seen with you for long. Doubt that you'd pass as a fan." It felt like an invitation from him, but she was well aware that he was not inviting her to his home. There was a strange spark in his face, as if he dared her to ask him to come over. Like a shameless devil testing her self control. "I'll take a cab and you can run over to my place. Let's see who'll get there first," she dared him back.

If there was a way That someone at the scene had saw your face I could tell 'em where you were that night You were standing by my side

"You should have told me that you parents were home!" he whispered angrily, as they snuck in like they used to back in the day. Funny how it worked like magic and Charles felt as if he just turned nineteen, terrified of running into Y/N's angry mom. "What? It's not like your place is empty, correct?" she shot arrows at him without waiting for an answer. Shot of guilt went thought Charles and he decided chased that by lying to himself, thinking that this was just a casual catch up with an old friend.

We can't make Any promises now, can we, babe? But you can make me a drink

Charles waited on the balcony adjacent to her old high school bedroom, that remained untouched for years, serving as a perfect door for nostalgia, while she made their favorite Moscow mule. He had tasted many of those since they last saw each other. None of those tasted so intoxicating like this one.

"So, big racer boy. Always wondered. Which out of the cities you go to is the most fun?" "Define fun. I'm sure your taste has evolved over the years." Yes, it had. No longer was she blind towards the god like man sitting across from her. "Ok, where did you fuck the most girls?" "Monaco," he smirked at her. He realized he enjoyed teasing her. No longer was he the shy love stuck puppy dancing as she demanded. "You became quite forward, huh? I remember you avoiding these subjects," he followed up, testing the waters. She gave him a long look, before letting a loud sigh out: "Charlie, it's been years. People change. Mature. Gain experience..." "And then come back to where they started, huh?"

Is it cool that I said all that? Is it chill that you're in my head? 'Cause I know that it's delicate

He leaned a little too close for an old time friend. Slowly, he touched her hand and waited for her to stop him. When she didn't, he tangled his fingers with hers. No longer were they soft baby hands, but adult fingers with tender touch. "I missed you," he said quietly. Old habit kicked in and she avoided his eye contact. But this time, he put his hand on her cheek and turned her face towards him, so that she couldn't just dismiss it, like she had so many times back then. "I missed you too." There was an urgency and a vulnerability that he had never heard from her before. It was addicting and intoxicating. He carefully closed the gap between them and their lips brushed so lightly that one could still pass it as friendly touch, if they really really wanted to. But with every second they kept their lips like that, the gap of morally safe evening kept closing inevitably. They stayed like that for just a few seconds, both of them waiting to see if the other one pulls away. Until finally, her lips moved slightly and then there really was no way back. Charles forgot that there ever was anyone else in his life and kissed her slowly. She took his bottom lip in and let her tongue lick it, breaking the soft kiss with urgency only years of daydreaming can bring.

Do the girls back home touch you like I do? Long night with your hands up in my hair Echoes of your footsteps on the stairs Stay here, honey, I don't wanna share

This was bad. Ugly, disrespectful and not something a friend would do. Charles was locked in room again having the luxury to spend few weeks in a sunny Monte Carlo. But sunny days at home also meant that he and Y/N were spending a lot of time together. Charles knew he was head-over-heels for this girl, but kept himself at bay. But these thoughts he was having were a little too much. Inappropriate. Made him feel dirty and shameful. He was just a teenage boy and he just came back from a beach day with his crush. It was impossible to focus on anything, he was suppose be studying for his exam, exploring race strategies, anything! He could have been a good son and helped his mom out. But no, instead he was pacing around his room, desperately trying to block all the images that got burned to his memory under that day's bright sunlight. Why did he even suggest a beach day - and why would she ever agree to that. Stupid idea. Charles was mad at himself for being so stereotypically teenage. For a split second, he stopped with the self-shame and allowed himself to recall this afternoon. Perfect Monaco sunlight hitting Y/N lightly tanned skin, her hair falling out of her messy bun, just begging for him to tuck it behind her ear. This was all still pretty innocent. But then there were the shoulders. The collarbone leading way towards her boobs, covered by a piece of bathing suite fabric, that pushed her cleavage up just a little bit, but it felt like a weapon designer specifically to destroy him. He had to stop himself from looking. When that proved impossible, he opted for looking only when he had his sunglasses on. If only he could take his hand and lightly brush over her nipples, which he couldn't forget about since the Moscow mule night. And then if only he could squeeze her boobs while tracing the line of her waste and over to her ass, also barely covered by a bathing suite. If only he was brave enough to do so, to make his wildest dreams come true and to confess his feelings. To have her come over to his place, look him suggestively in the eye, lick her lips and take him in her pretty little mouth. It didn't matter that she was slightly younger, in his fantasy she was the more experienced one, the one to guide him, instruct him and tell him what she likes. And once he learned, he would make her moan like nobody before, because he would adapt himself to any style she'd want. The visuals of a daydream extension of their today's hang out crept in, and there she was, taking her bra off and inviting him to join her in the water. Free, happy and heavenly hot. By some miracle he managed to avoid having a boner in her company. What he didn't manage was to stop stroking himself while drowning in the thoughts about her and her body, no matter how shameful it was for him. The best orgasm of his life yet had his hands covered with his cum and his head with clouded with growing, never-stoping need for a touch from his crush.

It was a different man kissing Y/N than the boy who had imagined it more times that he would ever admit. Yet still, he was getting to live out his ultimate fantasy, one that he almost forgot he had, until all the desire rushed back in and screamed so loudly he couldn't hear anything else. And the best thing? The best thing was that she was responding enthusiastically, felt as if she was hungry for something only he could have. He was a different man now, experienced, understood the spectrums of what touch could offer. The confidence radiated from him and it was Y/N who was now who danced way over the line of self control. It was her, who drank so much cheap wine in the form of men bad at sex, that she could finally appreciate the Montrachet Chardonnay she overlooked the first time around.

"We should get inside, mon cheri," he whispered into her lips. She understood why and did not want to hear him say it. Because in his silence, she could insert any thought and that was probably better than the hard truth - they were too exposed on her balcony. She nodded and slowly opened her eyes. Even with the dim lights she saw the tender spark in the most captivating shade of blue the world can offer.

Oh damn, never seen that color blue Just think of the fun things we could do

He pressed her to the door frame while devouring her lips. Lines have been crossed and the room was filled with unresolved sexual tension. Charles wanted her - naked and moaning in pleasure. She pulled his hair while they made out and each pull was like gasoline to the fire of his desire. He traced her side with his cheeky finger and then slipped his hand under her t-shirt only to trace the line of her bra and then swiftly cupping her breast. "So you're wearing bras now," he let slip out of his mouth, already fucking her in his thoughts. His comment sparked a distant memory of an evening long gone by now. She was shivering his touch and wanted more and more. "Yeah...but now you're not gonna have to touch yourself alone or secretely," she said, hoping he actually had done that in the past, trying to tease him once more, while grabbing the hem of his belt and pulling him even closer. It worked. He was hard as a rock. He pressed his cock against her and started kissing her neck. She wondered if he understood the cocktail of pleasure and arousal he was preparing for her and felt even a bit shameful to crumble so easily. He felt her cave into his embrace as soon as he touched her neck and made a mental note, so come back to this spot once he was inside her. He thought about her devilish finger making her way to his cock slowly, just painfully slowly. She was teasing him and while he was loving that, he couldn't wait a second longer. He grabbed her hand pushed right onto his erection, which cause her letting out a surprised gasp. "I'm gonna fuck you, Y/N. Say yes if you want me to," he whispered into her neck. Not much second guessing went into her reply. "Yes," she moaned out, causing shivers on his neck. "Really?" he said, unhooking her bra. She smiled. This was no shy unsure Charlie. This was a confident man with intension to make her feel good. "Yes..." With that, he pulled away to help her get her t-shirt off and get rid of the cursed bra. Finally, he could stare as much as he wanted to.

He fucked her like there was no tomorrow. For them there really wasn't a tomorrow, because technically, there wasn't suppose to be a tonight. It was to stay as a blank page, moans written in an invisible ink, for no one but them to read. Morning would bring trouble, reason would wake up and start ordering around. As long as the sun wasn't watching, they were safe, hidden in each other and wrapped by desire.

Sometimes when I look into your eyes I pretend you're mine all the damn time

part 4

--------------------------------------------------------- @linnmee @itsjustkhaos @rhythmstars @blueflorals

[yuri-is-online]

List of characters that i think smoke a lil weed:

Riddle. He needs to chill the fuck out. I don't think he'd be able to handle smoking though, physically or mentally, so like. Trey should maybe slip him a strawberry tart with some ganja in it

Cater. Let him find the will the live and spiritually high five Morgan freeman or smth idk

Ace and Deuce. Another day, another heart attack cause Yuu got into a situation again

Trey. Partially because we both know damn well how stressed he is on a daily, but mostly because I just want the strict "Rule Following Dorm" to just be chalk full of stoners. Never let them know your next move! 🤙

Ruggie. He deserves it. Weirdly enough, he actually preforms better at his jobs when he's high as balls (this is based on one of my brother's. He can't drive for shit but he can smoke a blunt and then suddenly he turns into a chauffeur???)

Jade. I don't think he would need it or even really feel a desire to do it; he just wanted to know what it felt like the first time he did it, but then Yuu shotgunned him once and now he's much more willing to smoke. Probably makes the best food ever when he's high

Jamil. Look me in my eye and tell me he doesn't need Marijuana like a white mom needs a live laugh love sign. You cant. He can't do it too much though cause whenever he gets high he ends up just. Melting into his floor and stares at the ceiling for the next few hours and he can't do shit.

Kalim. He wants to be included. Also I think he would be a crier cause Lord knows he needs a good sob

Epel. He'll do just about anything if he thinks it'll make him cooler, and in his mind, weed is pretty cool. It is significantly less cool when he starts coughing like he's trying to puke out his organs though.

Vil. I don't really know why, he just would. He wouldn't smoke it though. Probably just eat an edible, and not the normal ones like a brownie or a cookie or some type of sweet, nah. He's going for the peanut butter. "Vil why is your peanut butter green?" "It's made with pistachios" "Ok but why are your eyes so red" "it's windy out here". He's so good at lying through his teeth when it comes to this but come on! He needs a break! Let him do this or he's gonna bite neiges head off!

I dont think Rook would. I don't why for this either, it's just the vibes. Rook is staying sober.

Idia tried it once to see what the hype was about and started choking. He's one if those people who isn't affected by Marijuana so he didn't really do it again. Until those cotton candy vapes came out and then he tried it again.

Lilia. I don't think I have to explain this.

Yuu. They were the one that got everyone else smoking. The probably grow it in their garden and tell people it's mint (also inspired by my brother). They're stressed constantly and making out with their boyfriend doesn't always take that stress away, so why not make out with their boyfriend, but high.

Honorable mention: Sam! He's just cool like that.

Honorable mention: Chen'ya! Cause I feel like he would.

I know nothing about smoking weed because the smell makes me kind of sick so I will take your word for it that this list is accurate. I do know a decent bit about drinking vodka straight from the bottle so allow me to give you my list of people who I think would do that:

Crewel- i think he's a cocktail guy but sometimes he just doesn't have the patience. He also has a big bottle of absinthe for emergencies. It's been getting a work out with all the overblots this year.

Lilia- used to back when he was traveling the world, nowadays he prefers not to so he can set a good example for Silver. Probably sticks to weed since it's more natural

Floyd- I feel like he makes those toxic jungle juice mixes that you can't tell the alcohol content of for "funzies" but then refuses to drink it himself and just drinks it from the bottle.

Epel- again he thinks it makes him look cool. He hates vodka because as a proud citizen of Harveston he strikes me as more of a cider guy but he still assumes he looked cool.

Sebek- he did it on a dare and he hated every second of it.

Ruggie- he does the thing where he gets cheap vodka and puts it through a brita filter to make it better.

Leona- he is too lazy to get himself something better. Do you think he smokes weed or sticks to catnip? And if you asked him that how loud do you think he would laugh before trying to beat your ass?

Yuu- at all times they look like this to me:

[aemondapologistfrfr]

Aegon HCs

mix of sfw and nsfw ofc

Warnings: 18+ my attempt at hcs 🫣 , mention of drugs, sexual themes 

Authors Note: these are just my thoughts and opinions, if they vary from what you think that’s totally ok!!! so with that im not starting each thing with ‘i think’ im just speaking it into existence 🙂‍↕️🤗

Word Count: 500 - if i end up adding more ill update this and prob just self reblog or something

                                         ᓚᘏᗢ

ততততততততততততততততততততততততততততততততততত

  sfw

isn’t as big as an alcoholic as everyone thinks he is - is always down to have a drink and good time tho 

doesn’t see himself as the protective older sibling bc he lowkey sees his mother as the oldest child - not rhaenyra 

has some early memories with rhaenyra but after jace was born everything changed and the memories became blurry 

can’t help but love his mother regardless of her abuse 

first time he felt unconditional love was with sunfyre

has wanted to run away for as long as he can remember 

feels like an outsider

loves his siblings but doesn’t know how to show it bc he was never shown it

doesn’t understand why his father never liked him - once stumbled into viserys chambers after a night of drinking and sobbed asking why he wasn’t enough - viserys didn’t wake up

tried really hard at first when training when he saw that viserys was there but when he didn’t get the attention he wanted he slowly started giving up 

falls in love after one second of affection bc he craves it desperately 

so fkn needy - has to be touching you at all times 

cries easily 

likes needs his hair played with

giving him braids 🫠 or fkn pigtails bye 

  nsfw

praise kink. 1000000000000% 

not scared to whimper - loud 

a true switch 

loves when you ride him because he can easily take control if he wants

you call him a good boy and he’s putty in your hands

loves his cock - easily one of his fav parts 

loves when you suck him off and worship him

first thing he does in the morning is masturbate

when he’s fucking you he gets lost watching his cock move in and out of you 

wants to stay buried in you after 

always asking to try new positions 

fucking you all over the keep and city 

b e g s you to sit on his face

modern additions: 

   sfw

tattoos!!! jfc 

piercings 🤤

has a stupidly loud car 

will buy you a passenger princess sticker for the mirror - and a princess one for himself 

club rat 

only reason he is in college is to see if his mom will love him - college!aegon is a completely diff subcategory but would be in a frat

smokes cigarettes and vapes 

unironically loves kanye - real

   nsfw

drugs - says he’ll try anything once and probably will 

dealing his drug of choice fs

has a pair of your panties wrapped around his car shifter 1000% - is currently begging for a pair for the rear view mirror 

if you’re down with it he’s absolutely recording himself fucking you to watch them later 

nudes daily

toys 

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masterlist 🔌 

im down bad 

taglist ✍️

@ka1afbr @ninihrtss @daintylittlesunflower @primroseluna @alexxavicry @misspendragonsworld @papichulo120627 @ashovertheriver @gabriella-aesthetic @moonymoo1 @faenyra @uwuuness @lizzylovebooks280501 @nostalgiagoth03 @multilover19 @summer-and-sunflowers @eternalwinters

[applejuicefruit]

can you write about kylian mbappé randomly finding out that you vape cause you were accidentally seen at the background of a insta story? like first he’s insanely mad when he found out but at the end he’s a little ok with it as long as you do a lung check every 6 months

kylian is my mom in this story 🥲

kylian mbappe x reader

Light it up

You were currently out with your best friends, having fun and taking pictures when suddenly you heard your telephone ring. Kylian, your boyfriend was texting you and you had no idea why so you decided to check very quickly.

“Where are you?” he texted you first.

“Are you safe?” he texted you second.

“Come home!” he texted you third.

“Are you in a gang or something?” he texted you again and you got a bit worried, he never acted this strange so something was definitely going on.

“Girls I’m so sorry to leave you like this but something just came up and I have to go home, I think Kylian’s sick…” you said, unsure of what to tell them because you had no idea of what was going on.

“Don’t worry baby, we’ll catch up another day, go and take care of that big boy!” one of your best friend teased you and you thanked them.

The drive back home was slow due to the big traffic in Paris and anxiety was eating you inside, thinking of why Kylian was acting so weird around you.

Once you got home you looked for Kylian, finding him on the couch with his phone in his hands.

“Kyky are you okay? You scared me, I thought you were hurt or something…” you said going towards him but he stopped you and showed you his phone.

“What is this?” he asked, showing you the picture two of your friends took an hour earlier.

“My friends?” you asked him a bit confused. Why was he acting so weird?

“Yes. And who’s behind your friends?” he asked again and once you zoomed in you saw yourself in the picture too, doing absolutely nothing but vaping.

Shit. Kylian didn’t know about it and now you were completely fucked.

“Kylian…” you tried to speak again but he stopped you.

“You smoke? How can you smoke? You know how dangerous it is? What are you? Sixteen trying to live the sex drug and rock and roll life?” he said, the situation quickly escalating as he was making it a huge drama, bigger than what it was.

“Kylian, first of all calm down! I’m not smoking, I was vaping, it’s different…second of all, calm down! You’re acting like it’s the end of the world!” you said a bit irritated.

“Because it could be the end of the world! You could die! Smoking can cause cancer! It’s dangerous…” he said, making a big drama out of nothing.

“Kylian once again, I wasn’t smoking!” you corrected him again but he wouldn’t listen.

“It’s still dangerous! For how long have you been doing it?” he asked again.

“I started four years ago…” you whispered.

“You were only seventeen! Are you crazy? Why? You’ve been doing it for all these years? Next year what? You’re gonna buy a Harley and join a motorcycle gang?” he asked seriously but you couldn’t help but laugh. He was acting like a total drama queen, in Kylian’s style.

“Why are you laughing? I’m serious y/n…I thought you were more mature than this!” he scolded you.

“Kylian, first thing you’re not my mom, stop acting like her, second thing, it’s my life and I can do what I want okay? I don’t need your permission to vape if I want to and I don’t need your permission to drink if I want to okay? So stop acting like a drama queen…” you said getting mad.

He really got upset over this stupid thing?

“I’m not acting like a drama queen! It’s serious! Are you getting checked up?” he asked you again.

“Not really…listen, I’m alive and breathing and I’m okay, you don’t have to worry about it!” you got tired of this conversation.

“Of course I worry about it! I worry about you! I can’t lose you…” he said looking more apologetic.

“What? You won’t lose me Kylian…you really are a big baby you know that?” you teased him and he laughed.

“Promise me you’ll get checked! At least every three months!” he said looking more serious.

“Every three months? Are you crazy?” you laughed at him.

“Every six months or you won’t vape ever again!” he said looking like your mom, really.

“Fine…” you agreed only because you wanted this conversation to end.

“And you won’t vape in this home…nor when we’re out together or with friends, or my family, they would absolutely kill you…” he got worried again, acting like a drama queen again and you got tired of his diva behaviour.

“Fine. I promise. Now can you drop it?” you asked and he nodded.

“Thanks…” you said reaching up for your jacket and purse.

“Where are you going now?” he asked you.

“To vape!” you shouted when you were already outside the door.

“What! Not again!” he screamed at you but you only bursted out laughing at his childish and motherly behaviour.

You were definitely dating a big child.

[iloveboysinred]

That geto smut was *chefs kiss* i love stoner geto sm. Do you have any more thoughts/hcs about him? :) i understand your requests are closed so its okay if you ignore this 💜

Um hello? I would love to expand on stoner geto ok! Its okay to ask me questions/submissions. Requesting full blown fics when my requests are closed is when i have to draw the line though + I’m up at 3:40 a.m looking for something to focus my mind on other than the two smuts i’m writing rn 😌 so this is perfect, thank you sweet pookie anon.

• So to start off, Suguru strikes me as the quiet type when he’s high. He’ll yap with you if you talk to him but he’s mostly just silently touching the clouds while everything else is buzzing in the background.

• I feel like he doesnt stick to one medium to smoke. I feel like he has a couple of bowls, bongs, and maybe even a vaporizer. I feel like he tried using it once and didn’t really like it— preferring the usual spark and pull that these other options provide. He likes to take things slow when he’s smoking, letting each pull soak in before he takes another.

• Now maybe its cause i’m from NY and love grabba, but i genuinely feel like Suguru occasionally sprinkles in some grabba with his weed or uses the leaf itself as a wrap. He can definitely do without most of the time but if he has it on hand and just so happened to get some cheap bud he’ll definitely sprinkle some in there for the taste and to stretch the product a little more.

• He doesn’t like carts. Hates how they taste, how they pull���how they make him cough up a lung. Just no. He probably hasn’t touched a cart since he was a senior in highschool.

• I feel like he gets in the shower high as fuck and just lets the water run over him with his eyes closed. His mind is just buzzing with dull senses and the water just feel so nice when he’s high. Probably has some vibey music playing in the background.

•if you’re around he definitely gets touchy. He proclaims that sex feels so much more intense when he’s smoked out.

• matches with you and Gojo often. Shoko doesn’t strike me as much of a WEED smoker, but she always takes a couple pulls whenever you guys get together on fridays.

• he likes having his hair down when he’s high. The tension in his scalp from having his hair up makes his head feel achy and heavy. He just wants to lay back in some soft pillows or, even better— your nice warm thighs and just close his glossy eyes.

•gets the munchies BAD. Like if you leave this man alone he’ll make multiple trips to the fridge, mindlessly tearing up whatever’s edible.

• doesn’t vape, only the natural stuff for him.

• He goes on frequent tolerance breaks to keep his tolerance low

• rolls up when he comes home, rolls up if he’s out with you and your friends, and he rolls up before he goes to sleep

• he doesnt really like cones. He’ll use them, but he hates how they sometimes start canoeing.

• has a variety pack of rolling papers in his room

• tried edibles once, he hates the flavor but the high literally changed his life. He’s never been that fried in his life, probably would try them again but sparingly (he ate the whole bag of 5000mg gummies thinking they weren’t working)

• i don’t really see him enjoy the feel of being cross faded.

• likes watching movies when he’s high even though he starts to slump into the bed

• definitely a firm believer in smaller blunts. If the product is good, theres no need to roll gorilla fingers. He thinks its a waste of weed

Thats all i got 😚

[iamthecomet]

Merry Christmas! Perhaps consider this little blurb to be an impromptu Christmas present? (I really hope you like it 😭) (heed this warning, there is slight mentions to BDSM, but nothing explicitly described as well as the word mommy used to describe Cumulus and baby boy to describe dewdrop)

But I was thinking about Cumulus and Dewdrop, right? Dominatrix Cumulus taking Dewdrop under her wing so he has a healthy outlet to let things go and to hopefully teach him to take care of himself better and to instill healthy habits. Naturally before the relationship began the two of them sat down to talk about some ground rules that would be established

The main ones that Cumulus wanted Dew to acknowledge and understand first are : no excessive drinking, no more then five cigarettes a day (this is one I feel like Dew would struggle with the most giving he likes to chain smoke to deal with his feelings), drink at least three glasses of water a day, keep up with his meals or at least eat snacks throughout the day to accommodate and to check in whenever the thoughts got to be too much. "There was no sneaking around", Cumulus told Dewdrop when they had finished the conversation "because Mommy always knows". Cumulus chuckled and pressed a kiss to Dews head when she didn't get nothing in reply except for a flushed Dewdrop in reply

Everything was going good for Dew since their arrangement had started, and the other ghouls could tell what a positive impact it had on the fire ghoul. His mood had improved and he didn't look as sickly any more. Nobody had no clue why the sudden 360 had happened, but multiple ghouls and even Papa told him to keep it up and that whatever he was doing was working for him. It wasn't until the ghouls were celebrating a good show well done at a local pub did someone find out

Dew had decided to slip out for a breather only to notice that Swiss was outside doing the same, but he was smoking on his vape instead. A small smile and a tilt of his head let Dew know that he was welcome, and with an awkward smile of his own Dewdrop had stood next to him, eyeing the vape curiously in Swiss' hand. Thinking that the fire ghoul wanted to hit it, he extended the hand holding it out to him. Immediately Dewdrop looked away, as if even looking at it would earn him a punishment. "Ah- no, I'm good", Dew meekly replied. Cumulus never said nothing about vapes considering that cigarettes were his poison of choice, but he already had his five for the day courtesy to a case of the pre-show jitters. The fire ghoul knew he could argue of a loophole but he didn't want to get the lexan paddle to his bare ass anyway if, and most likely when, Cumulus didn't find his argument sustainable. Dew could still feel a very slight sting from when he accidentally skipped a meal a week and a half ago

Swiss raised a brow and tilted his head at that, retracting his hand. It was as if his suspicions had been confirmed. It started when Dew had begun to refuse a hit every time Swiss offered during a show. Alright, whatever. Swiss figured that it was because he suddenly gathered up a slight sense of professionalism, which was still weird for Dewdrop if Swiss was to be honest but it is what it is he supposed. But for him to out right refuse when they're in nobodies company but their own had Swiss a little concerned. "Ok? What the fuck is up with you? Usually you're begging me to let you hit and now you just quit? That's pretty weird dude"

Dewdrop blushes just like any other time somebody mentioned his change in habits "it's..Cumulus.." He mumbled abashedly, looking away with a lovesick smile on his face as a blush crept up on his cheeks "we had a talk and she doesn't like when I smoke so much..so we came to an agreement on how much I can smoke a day and I've reached my limit.." Dew explained with as little details as possible with a shrug, hoping that would satisfy the multi's need to be nosy. It would soon come back to bite Dew in the ass though when Swiss snorted, making the smile on the fire ghouls face fall and be replaced with a defensive expression with his brows furrowed and a snarl on his lips

"Look- don't get me wrong- I don't care in the slightest but just because she's the one doing the fucking- yeah don't sit there and act surprised, I've seen how hard it is for you to sit down sometimes-" Swiss says in reply to Dews startled squeak "-but it doesn't mean you gotta let her rule your life. If you really want a hit, just take one, man". Ohhhh Swiss would not be saying that if he was the one at the mercy of the paddle. Absolutely not

But he stared at Swiss for a second, and when he got that itch in his fingers to take the vape he snapped, storming back inside to hopefully find Cumulus. He found her at the bar, chatting with Mountain about God knows what. Wordlessly Dewdrop tugged on her sleeve from behind, trying to tell her without words that he needed to leave. Luckily the air ghoul got the message before turning around and excusing herself, telling Mountain to tell anyone in the pack who asked that she was tired and that she was going to hail a cab back to the hotel with dewdrop to turn in for the night

Cumulus decided it would be best for them to wait outside to give Dew a chance to tell her what was wrong, considering the blonde was so close to breaking down outside of the bar. "Swiss..", the fire ghoul keened as he buried his face into the air ghouls shoulder "he..he tried to get me to hit his vape..". Cumulus nodded as she raked her manicured nails gently along Dews scalp "Mhm..you didn't though, right? You were already at your smoking limit for today, firelily"

"No!", Dewdrop shouted, forgetting himself for a moment before apologizing and explaining "no..but- but I thought about it..I wanted to do it! I'm a bad boy, I deserved to be punished..". Cumulus' heart broke for his baby boy, believing he deserved to be punished for a simple thought. What's most important is that Dew didn't give in and came to find her. In her eyes her baby didn't break not a single rule which meant a punishment wasn't needed, and she voiced as such. " But- I-" Dewdrop got cut off by a quiet shush from Cumulus, who had noticed a cab had pulled up and was waiting for them "not now Hun. We'll talk more when we get back to the hotel, ok?" She asked, her hand running down his back and resting on the fire ghouls ass. Dew gasped, a blush dusting across his cheeks for certainly not the first time that night as he understood what Cumulus meant by 'talking'. "Hm..I'm gonna have to talk to a certain ghoul about what happens to those who tempt my baby, huh?", the air ghoul whispered in his ear before taking him by the elbow and leading him to the cab. Oh shit, Dewdrop thinks with a hint of giddyness, Swiss is sure in for it now

(Brought to you by a person currently running on four hours of sleep 🙃)

Oh. Oh I ADORE THIS. I adore them. And poor Dew, trying so hard, such a good good boy. So worried that just a thought is going to make Lus mad at him. All he wants to do is make her happy, be her good boy. God this is WONDERFUL. Thank you for sharing with me, I'm going to be thinking about this one, turning it around in my brain, chewing on it.

[showerb0ng]

ive been coming down from this little uppers bender all day because im a complete pussy and get all ripped up off of like 12 total mg of addy.. its honestly so embarassing but my brain chemistry seems fucked anyway with the megadose of an ssri im on plus the endless nicotine and the 45 ounces of dunkin iced coffee plus the beers & the vodka. which is pretty much a normal day. but anyway im like delirius and stoned off my ass on the bus to school and i keep getting this quivering sensation in my chest that feels kinda like im gonna puke or kinda like my eyeballs are gunna bubble out of my head. i camt stop imaging my body as a cup of dunkin donuts hot coffee, like over and over again, im like having a fever dream, i'm a hot cup of black coffee , like my skin is the cup and i am just slowly sweltering from all the hot liquid inside, like my organs are all steamy and fluid, i'm organ soup, and sloshing around because the bus is so fucking BUMPY, and then suddenly its like someone pours just the tiniest daintiest little splash of ice cold creamer into the hot cup (me) from a teeny delicate little milk jug like the ones they give you at breakfast places. anyway thats like how the weird little shocks in my chest feel and also how the delirium is creeping over me and im also stoned out of my mind at this point mind you. but i took the last of the colossal ssris in question this morning and im gunna start withdrawing if i miss a day, like almost immediately, so i have to go the fucking UI pharmacy to pick them up. so i get off the bus and like almost get blasted by a car because im not paying attention to the right crosswalk but i make it across and now im in the doctors office. i feel like eileen myles strutting into pick up some diet pills (speed) from some fake doctor in brooklyn in the 70s. i wish. i actually love this doctors office because there's always medical students at this one who i love to kinda fuck with. theres absolutely nothing i love more than just bold faced lying to medical professionals because there's really jack shit they can do about it. its so funny to watch some of the like medical student dorks too like try to figure out how to react because theyre like trying to be good & friendly & helpful doctors and theyre like scared shitless the whole time. one time i was at this doctors office i walked in like absolutely REEKING of darts. like i'd probably smoked two or three on my walk to the doctors office because i must have been off vaping for some dumb reason or another. and i still had the pack in my back pocket. and the clinical assistant or the nurse or whoever came in and was like taking my vitals whatever doing my medical history then she like looks at me and is like 'do you use tobacco' and i just like.. stared at her and was like 'nope!' and she gave me this LOOK like are you serious? but she thought i was just dumb so she asked again 'do you smoke cigarettes' and i just like grinned at her and was like 'no' and she was just like '...ohkay....' like she wanted to kill me lol. it was so fuckin great she tried one last time too, she was like 'ok, which are you: current smoker, former smoker, or never smoker' and i was like BEAMING i was like never smoker :) i think thats when i was there to get my copper iud inserted

[hershelwidget]

Um. Yeah ok I really need to get this off my chest, so uh, life update post..! Everything major is under the cut, but just know that I’m not in a great place right now. ^^; It’s okay to give this post any kind of notes, and in fact it would be appreciated if you had any words of wisdom, but please don’t feel obligated to interact. I’m just venting.

[General Death Warning, Suicidal Thoughts… You get the gist. Proceed with caution, shit is BAD bad.]

1. I’m going to lose my mother soon.

This is the biggest thing that’s fucking me up. My mother was diagnosed with stomach cancer a while back, and she was receiving treatment for it… But the doctors messed up, made her Worse, and now she has less than three years to live. The estimation was 1-3. And with how she drinks, smokes, vapes… I don’t think the chances are very good that she’ll make it to her next birthday. Next October 8th might be the last one she sees, or she might not see it or all, or some miracle will happen and she’ll get to see two more. She’s also expressed that she’s suicidal. My uncles and cousin had to come in the house and take away all the keys to the gun safe because they felt that she might try something. My mother has days where she falls over a lot, and on a few of these days, I’ve seen. So much blood. So much blood has come out of this woman. It’s fucking terrifying. I’ve never been more afraid of death in my life. Sure, there’s things that help, like Mitch Albom’s tuesdays with Morrie, but nothing changes the fact that I’m going to be motherless before I graduate university. Before I start my career. Before I get married. I know people lose their parents at way younger ages, but fuck man, it still hurts. I’m WATCHING this woman die. I can’t do shit about it. All I can do is spend my time wisely and pretend that she’s allowed to continue to commit mild cases of child abuse just because she’s dying and that I’m completely fine with everything she does because if I don’t then I look like an asshole. Fuck. I love her but she is not a good mother. I love her and I’ll miss her so much and I’ll be inconsolable at her funeral but oh my God this woman should have lost custody of me and my brother sooner. My parents should have divorced sooner. She doesn’t deserve to die. I hate everything about this.

2. Ironically, I’m constantly debating suicide myself.

It’s not a 24/7 kind of thing, but as I mentioned to my partner earlier today, it feels like a bullet is whizzing by every single day. One bullet represents one “I should kill myself”, or one “It would be easier to be dead”, or other such phrases. I’m really trying to avoid it. I’m good at talking myself out of it, from as small as “Not right now” to as long-winded as an essay of a rationalization as to what I still have to live for. For example, wouldn’t it fucking suck for your youngest child to kill himself while you yourself are dying? Yeah… The main thing that triggers (ha) the bullets is whenever I mess up or otherwise get the sense that someone has a good reason to be mad at me. Lately my Hostings have been not as great as I want them to be, and my people have been distant or pissy or just generally giving off the vibes that they’re upset at me. I know they have lives outside of our server, outside of me. I know they’d TELL ME if I was messing up, or at least I like to think they would… But it feels like they’re the ones pulling the trigger whenever something goes even mildly wrong. Which is not a great thought to have. I don’t want to demonize these people- I love them. They’re my friends. But even when they DO make it clear I messed up, I want them to just shoot me.

3. Really, in general, I have an unhealthy obsession with being portrayed a certain way and it’s not helping me deal with anything else on this list.

Over the course of my life, I’ve desperately put up an image of being The Good One. The Nice One. The Kind One. The Optimistic One. The Friend. The Leader. The Professor. I. I fucking hate being The Professor. That’s the worst one. It embodies all of the other labels, it’s the umbrella of the umbrellas, and I hate how it’s my own fault that people can only see me as The Professor. But I’ve trapped myself in it. I’m stuck. I can’t get out. If I get out, I lose everything else, the mask comes off, and nobody ever trusts me ever again. Nobody cares ever again. Honestly, I doubt they actually care while I’m still The Fucking Professor. If I’m not the guy who can say “it’ll be okay” and that he’s there for you, if I’m not the guy who keeps getting up no matter how hard he’s beaten into the fucking ground, if I’m not the guy who can give you earnest and genuine help and advice, if I’m not the guy who can be your guiding light, then I’m nothing. Either that, or I’m just some spiteful asshole who hallucinates sometimes and is a burden to the society. I’m either something I hate, or I’m something everyone else hates. I can’t find a middle ground. There’s just nothing in-between. It sucks. It sucks that I forced this on myself.

I don’t know. I’m sorry all of that came out, I didn’t intend for this to be that long of a post, but uh… If you read all that, then. Now you know what’s going on with hershelwidget. So. Do with this what you will.

[deyadee]

The Gray

What is the point of living if you’re always living in the gray?

I don’t really hit the same depths of despair that I used to, maybe that’s a good thing, maybe that’s a bad thing. I had a period where I would bounce between extreme optimism and joy and a sinking feeling of pain. Now I wouldn’t really say I’m sad or angry, just a dull disappointment with life.

I don’t really have anything I’m aiming for really. My hobbies don’t really have goals. I had an account that I felt pretty proud of growing, but it got deleted and in the dozens of attempts to grow a second to build up to the first it goes nowhere. Gets deleted again or gets 1-4 views, that is if it gets anything at all. So what I have now is no job, one or two friends, no ambitions, no partner. Nothing. I don’t really have any dreams that I don’t think are completely impossible. I doubt I find someone who will love me, I just think logically it’s impossible. I’ll end up in a loveless marriage where I’m miserable and want to just die. I want to be a YouTuber or something, but I don’t have any kind of skills or personality for it.

I feel like recently I’ve been haunted by this concept of “growing up”, it physically makes me sick to think about it. It’s not enough to just be that boring girl in class, it’s not enough to just not be pregnant at 16, it’s not enough to not smoke or vape or drink, it’s not enough that you’re just a “meh” person. You have to be the best at something. But you never can truly be the best. There’s always someone better than you that makes your existence worthless.

But I swear to fucking god it’s all I see anywhere any fucking game or movie I watch lately that’s the fucking theme and I can’t escape it. You shouldn’t be interested in that, you need to grow up, you shouldn’t like that you’re an adult, you should have a real job and live on your own and go to college and if you’re not doing that you’ve gotta be doing something fucking legendary that makes it ok for you to not be like everyone else. It’s weird to like anime and ponies and dolls, it’s weird to not know what to say, it’s weird to not answer someone when they’re talking to you. You shouldn’t want a job and a life that’ll make you happy because that’s just fake, your life will never be the cute little picturesque movie scene you imagine. You’re going to marry a man you don’t love, get a job you hate, scrape by to make ends meet, and fucking hate everything about yourself and your life like everyone else. It’s weird to hang out with your little sisters more than people your own age, it’s not my fucking fault all people wanna fucking talk about nowadays is fucking drugs or politics. “Oh yeah, I liked that too when I was a KID” Sorry I wanna have some fucking fun in my goddamn life that isn’t obsessing over what some old fuckers are gonna fuck us over with. They’re gonna fuck us over no matter what you do bitch, stop fucking acting like I’m a goddamn monster because I want to not go into a fucking spiral knowing that we’re gonna be sent back to the Stone Age by some motherfuckers that don’t give a fuck about us. I want to live and not be constantly fucking arguing and scared of goddamn everything. Am I in denial? YES! BECAUSE SOMETIMES YOU GODDAMN NEED TO BE TO LIVE.

I look around at everyone my own age and feel like I’m fucking insane because they look at me like I am. I don’t know what I’m supposed to be doing I don’t know what’s fucking correct or smart or socially acceptable. Where the fuck did all these goddamn rules and expectations come from?! What puts me on a different fucking level than everyone else? Why do I feel like I’m fifteen fucking chapters behind everyone else around me, like there’s some goddamn joke I don’t get that everyone expects me to. I DON��T KNOW WHAT YOU WANT FROM ME I DON’T KNOW WHAT I’M SUPPOSED TO DO. TELL ME TO FUCKING DANCE AND I’LL DANCE. TELL ME TO LAUGH AND I’LL GODDAMN DO IT WHAT MAKES ME DIFFERENT THAN ALL OF YOU? WHY AM I THE DUMB ONE HERE WHY AM J THE FREAK WHY AM I THE FUCKING CIRCUS MONKEY. WHY AM I THE FUCKING HANDBAG CHIHUAHUA YOU KEEP TO MAKE YOURSELF LOOK BETTER. WHY AM I PITIED WHAT’S FUCKING WRONG WITH ME DAMN IT?

Do I need to go back on my depression meds again? Do I need to go back to feeling absolutely nothing and staring at the ceiling for hours until I fall asleep? Do I need to go back to Vyvanse and feel like I’m still two steps behind everyone for trying to live my life like you always told me I should? “Don’t listen to the haters, just be yourself and make your own life the way you want” but that’s not what people mean. They want you to live the way they want, as an accessory to them. Because that’s what you are. You’re not a *real* person. You’re not *really* gay, you’re not *really* funny, you’re not *really* unique, you’re not *really* ace, you’re not really- what the fuck am I then? Why does it feel like ever since third grade I’ve just been an *other*? I’m fucking 21, going to be 22 in August and I still feel like I’m everyone’s little pet, or the little brother you hand an unplugged controller and pretend to let them play “Oh you gotta shoot the zombies for me, ok? You’re doing *such* a great job!”

I want to tell someone about this, but who do you tell whenever you talk to your parents and they look at each other like you pissed yourself? Which friend do you ask when they look at you like you’re crazy when you say you actually still like movies that you liked when you were a kid? What subreddit do you type on when nothing sounds like what you go through? ADHD just talks about how fucking quirky and cute and lol xd random stimmies and Autism I can’t tell what the hell they’re even talking about? I know all those videos that say “You’re not alone, there’s so many people that love you more than you can ever know” want me to talk to my family or friends or something, or talk to someone on the hotline but I can’t bring myself to. I feel like I’m alone in this. I can’t describe this feeling to someone without them looking at me like I’m stupid.

What kind of medicine am I supposed to take to fix this? Can this even be fixed? If I can get it fixed would I still be me, I feel like being this fucking freak is who I am and anytime I’ve tried feeling like someone else I just feel like I’m somewhere where I don’t belong. People like me, if there even are any, don’t belong with the normal people. We’re not even people, we’re something lesser that others can just smell. They can hear it in your voice and see it on your face when you walk in the room. But what the hell is it, what the fuck is it, I don’t talk any differently than anyone else. I have the same Kentucky accent like the rest of my family, I look people in the eye when I talk to them, I listen to what they say, I try to speak as clearly as I can, my face doesn’t look that weird compared to anyone else. It’s not any kind of fucking ADHD because I’ve only really met one person with ADHD that was like me, all the rest feel like they’re lying about it or using it as some status symbol. Even then that other person was in middle school with me, they don’t act like that anymore. They learned how to blend in with the regulars. What the fuck is it then? Why can’t I break that barrier? What barrier is it even?

Why am I like this?

“Because I love you”

That’s what I asked god in a dream one time, back when I did believe in him. Is that what it meant? God also wants me as his little fucking monkey? Is that why people like me, because I’m too stupid to understand that I’m their parrot? Their little rat that keeps slamming into the cage?

Why am I like this? Why am I like this? Why am I like this? Why am I like this? Why am I like this? Why am I like this? Why am I like this? Why am I like this? Why am I like this? Why am I like this ? Why am I like this? Why am I like this? Why am I like this? Why am I like this?

[1eos]

ta*mints always at the scene of the crime and they make me believe all kpop stans are haters at their core because why else would you set this man up constantly....you could put the Drip Drop choreo up against 4th gen groups and win, but you're putting his ass on blast for NO GLORY in the vocal area? i think he may have smoked that B/T/S boy's vape instead and absorbed the malevolent energies that spawned from them.

without fail they are there 😭😭😭like don't u have sumn to stream??????????????? GO AWAY! and something in the fabric of stan culture births unethical hateration cuz u could really compliment bobhyuk from group ^&4-337's dancing and here come taemin stans like 'not as good as taemin' ok..........no one said otherwise? like ive NEVER seen a group of ppl collectively (kpop fans in general) just make up shit to be mad about and i live w a fucken gemini. i will never forget getting an anon that was like 'is it bad i wish taemin was the main vocal instead of jinki >.<' uh YEAH IT FUCKING IS like the constant desire to set their 'fave' up to get dragged and have them tone deaf days vids resurfaced is fucking WILD. go rig a best kpop dancer poll for the adrenaline pls!

[justcallmedust]

I need to get this out of my head.

Saturday morning the husband takes our youngest son fishing. He lets me know that his mother will be stopping by sometime after 1. Ok.

I go about my day, his mom shows up around 2 and about half an hour later they get back from fishing. His mom orders pizza and when it comes, we eat and talk and laugh and it’s actually a pretty good time.

The whole time he’s in the house he is on the phone texting texting texting.. which has become a regular thing lately. Once he finishes eating he goes outside and our son helps him clean up the area around the fire pit.

I’ve not been mowing that area because he had wood dumped there and I can’t get the mower through. So they clean it up and start a fire - which I thought was like a family thing because I had got some new kind of marshmallows the kids wanted to roast.

Meanwhile I was having very nice conversation with his mom, thinking it might actually be a nice day. So it’s getting late and she’s thinking about leaving and I need to water my plants so we walk outside to do that and I see Becky walk out of my garage with my husband.

His mom says to me, who the fuck is that and I tell her I think he’s cheating with her. She’s like, fuck that and starts walking over to where they are now sitting by the fire pit. As she walks up there he yells ‘hey mom’ and Becky parrots him yelling ‘hi mom’.

His mom looks back at me with stank face, like wtf. They talk while I finish watering the flowers around the house and I go back inside and smoke some pot on the porch.. because I could see myself punching this bitch.

His mom walks back into the house after a bit and we discuss things that have been happening that have led me to think the cheating is a thing. She wants to go back out there and fish for info.. she really is the best.

So we go out there and my husband and Becky are sitting by the fire together, and I notice she’s got 2 big cups on the ground by the chair she’s in and a sweatshirt hanging over the back of the chair. At this moment I know she had been invited here and was planning to hang out for a while. Even thought she was telling his mom that she was just taking a walk and saw the fire and walked up the driveway.. yeah, no.

I made a decision at that moment that I was gonna stay out there with them until she left. She made a point of telling me she knew my bestie and this whole story about how she’s super sweet and whatnot.. except she doesn’t. See Becky used to work at my besties second job. She drives a van on the campus of an assisted living facility Sunday nights, but they’ve never met. Becky left that job before my bestie even started working there. She kept calling her the wrong name and I was like no, I don’t know that person but she just kept telling me how sweet she was. Ok. Bizarre.

His mom leaves and I hug her goodbye and walk inside to check on the kids and walk back out. Becky asks to go in and use the bathroom, I go with her because I’m not just sending a stranger into my house where my kids are. As we walk back out she asks if she can have a hit of my vape, which I was hesitant about.. but I handed it to her anyhow. She went on about how she was trying to quit smoking and vaping tobacco and just needed something.

She took one puff and handed it back to me, then about 15 minutes later she asks to take another. I hand her the vape and she takes 2 small puffs.

Almost immediately she’s taking about how high she is… which, I dunno it’s a good quality D9 sativa vape.. maybe she was, but it seemed contrived to me.

Throughout the evening she kept trying to get a picture of me. I kept moving out of the way and repeatedly telling her not to take a picture of me, but I'm sure she snapped a few. I could not figure out why until it dawned on me that maybe her husband was questioning if she was alone with my husband and she maybe was trying to prove that I was there.

Another neighbor comes walking over and we are talking by the fire and it’s almost 11 and Becky pipes up telling my husband to drive her home on the quad.. to which I said, no you’re drunk and she’s like well you can walk me home and we can hold hands and he’s all agreeable and I’m like no. No fucking thank you, if you need help getting home I will drive you no problem and I walked inside to get my keys.. she followed me saying she needed to use the bathroom again (Verizon logs show she was texting him while in our bathroom) and by the time we got back outside she decided she didn’t want to make me drive and she was gonna sit by the fire. But like it would have been just peachy for him to drive the quad drunk? Ok, I put my keys in my pocket and continued talking to the neighbor I actually like.

Around this time I realize my husband had bought some hard seltzers.. which he hasn’t bought in months.. because the neighbor asked for one and he was like no but I can pour you a drink from the ‘bar’ in the garage.. so they walk in there to do that and I follow, leaving Becky by the fire. We are in there a few minutes talking about music, they get their drinks and we all walk back out and Becky is gone. They are worried and call her name, the husband calls and texts her but gets no response and then her husband texts him saying she made it home ok. But the texts keep coming.. I counted about 15 text sounds and I ask him.. wtf? and he's like oh shes just telling me she made it home ok.. and I'm like 15 times? and he goes.. I swear you cant make this shit up.. he goes, look shes stoned and shes never smoked pot before in her life - which is not what she said to me.. and he says YOU GOT HER HIGH. .. of course. Of course it was my fault. Ok fine I looked at our neighbor and continued our conversation.. all the while his phone is going off rapidfire, I hang out till about midnight and say goodnight and go inside... figuring, well at least shes not here.

Inside, my curiosity gets the better of me and I jump on the computer and go to the verizon account. Since I knew he tried calling her, I figured I could get her phone number from the call log. So I find her number and look at the text log for his phone. I was kind of shocked, he had been texting her all day.. even when he was out on the lake with our son. Even while I was standing right there with them. When I refreshed it I could see that they were still texting each other at that moment. Just for shits and giggles I downloaded the texting info and opened it up in a database and discovered that her number was by far the most texted number on his phone. In fact going back months her number was a constant. I had to stop looking at it.. with nausea brewing and my eyes burning I closed the laptop and walked away.

I cleaned up everything from dinner and laid down on the couch, put on the tv and fell asleep.. just after 3:30 though the sensor light went on outside and woke me up because I had left the mudroom door and the curtains on the slider open. This happens often because of animals so I got up to look and button everything up and I can see someone walking down the driveway… now it is far away from the house, our driveway is over 200 feet long and it has a sharp right in it.. so without my glasses on I could not see exactly who it was but it looked like Becky.

I don’t even know what I was thinking, I threw on my slides and walked over to the garage - which is not something I would normally do. The garage is 100 feet from the house and you have to walk a path through a wooded section of our property to get there or walk around the whole driveway and up the hill which is like 3 times the distance.. anyway I rush over there through the trees and bust open the door and there’s my husband asleep on the little couch in there. I tried to wake him but he was 10 sheets to the wind passed out stinking of booze. But I can smell her laundry detergent and I notice he's got all the lights off and only the warm intimate corner light on.. So I walked back into the house and went right to my computer, pulled up the Verizon history and could see the texting with her ended when I went inside and then there were 2 texts from her at like 3:39.

I’m confident that was her walking off my property and texting him that she got home ok. I’m just dying to look at his phone and see what the fuck they say to each other.

She was clearly pissed that I didn’t want him taking her home, and they were eyeballing each other the whole time while texting right in front of me. She obviously was ok to walk home.

Then Sunday morning his mom is texting me trying to ease my mind and wanting to intervene.. but I don’t know what to do. I don’t even know if what I’m seeing is what it feels like. I mean I could be wrong.. right?

[thanksfortheflaglove]

.

[halfmoondaze]

Request where Reader and Jack dated in highschool (babyjack) and Jack cheated on her (whenever Dark knight came out) and they split up and years later at Doja cats birthday their both invited and reader is wearing a sexy play bunny costume and her and Doja are like best friends and whenever jack comes to say hi to her he sees reader to

“Are you sure? Because we don’t have to go if you don’t want to. I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable if you ran into Jack” 

Fuck, she completely forgot about the possibility of running into him, considering he’s friends with Doja as well. 

“It’s fine, that was a long time ago. I’m over it” 

That was a lie, you were nervous about running into him. But you figured its been years since that happened and you didn’t wanted to have to hide from him forever. 

As you stepped inside the party, you were greeted by a cloud of smoke probably of weed or vape. You and your friend greeted a few familiar faces as you walked inside until you decided to hang out by the open kitchen area with some friends laughing here and there. You were having so much fun that you completely forgot about Jack probably being here too. That was until…

“Hi Y/N” 

You turned around to see Jack looking polished with a red cup on his hand and wearing his usual confident smile on his face. 

“Hey Jack” you said smiling awkwardly at him not knowing how to react to this whole situation. 

“Its been a minute since we seen each other, how are you? What you’ve been up to?” 

“I’m good” you managed to say as the music was loud making it hard for you to talk to him. 

“Do you wanna find a quiet spot?”  “Yea, that would be ideal” 

He laughed and the both of you started walking to the backyard where it was more private and quiet. 

You quickly glanced back to see Y/B/F/N looking at you. You quickly signal her that you were ok and she shook her head and went back to what she was doing. 

You and Jack sat in one of the pool chairs and to your surprise seeing Jack wasn’t as awkward as you initially though it was going to be. But you did noticed he seemed nervous which was an unusual thing to witness. 

“How are you doing” he said scratching the back of his head. 

“I’m doing alright. I just finished college and I’m starting my first job in a few days” 

“That’s great, I’m happy for you”

“Yea, you’re not so bad yourself. I noticed you’ve been everywhere these days” 

He laughed. 

“I wouldn’t exactly say it like that” 

“Its ok, you achieved your dreams, you don’t see a lot that of that in here. You should be proud of yourself” you said sincerely. 

His face changed as he was feeling guilty as he came into terms that y/n has been by his side all this time, and he played her so dirty. She didn’t deserved that. 

“Hey, I’m sorry about how things ended up between us. I was a thot who couldn’t appreciate what I had when I had it. I never forgave myself for it” 

“Jack, that was forever ago, we were just kids-“ 

“-Its still no excuse. I should have never let you go through that humiliation. After all you were the one that was always for me. I’m sorry”

“Thanks for apologizing. I really appreciate it. But I already forgave you, I couldn’t carry that for the rest of my life” you said laughing. 

“So, who you’re talking to now?”

“No one, I’ve been mostly focused on finishing college and what I wanted to do after that” 

“That’s great. Im so proud of you, I know how bad you wanted that” he said taking her hand.

“Thanks” 

When you didn’t pulled away from his hand, he decided to go a little further. 

“I never stopped thinking about you” 

You looked into his eyes, and you could tell he was being sincere. 

“Jack-“ 

“I know I fucked up, but I needed you to know that I would like to try again with you. I never should have let you go. All these people around me made me realize what I lost and-” he paused trying to hold a straight face as to avoid crying. “I love you. I never stopped loving you.” 

You were taken back by his last statement. In all the time you were together you don’t recall a single moment he said that. But it was real, he looked at you straight in the eye and didn’t even stutter. 

You looked down and sigh. 

“I need some time to think about this” 

“Yeah, yeah sure. I understand, take how much time you need” 

You could deep down Jack was happy that you didn’t straight up reject him, so he remained hopeful. 

“I have to find my friends”

You didn’t even let him reply as you immediately left. 

When you found your friends, you hang around them for a few more hours until you let them know you wanted to go. 

That night as you laid in bed, you couldn’t stop replaying the conversation with Jack in your head. He gave you his number before you left, and you were currently starring at his contact on your phone contemplating weather you should go for it or not. But before you could make your decision, your hands already started texting him, and to your response he replied after a few seconds. 

“I never stopped thinking about you either” your text read. 

“Can we try again?”

“Yeah” 

“Let me take you for breakfast tomorrow, I can pick you up at 8?” 

“Yeah, that sounds good” 

“I can’t wait to see you” 

You smiled at yourself as you put your phone down.