#and frankly i’m scared to make any
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expy-ceri · 1 year ago
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Kirbytober Day 12: Helper / Gijinka HOSTILE SHITPOST TAKEOVER
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hobisexually · 1 year ago
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x
#hm its time for a rant again <3#but my roommate has a date again and that makes me feel…….. extra mentally ill snsnsnsn#I’m a little bit upset because I spent this entire year trying to rebuild right. rebuild my social life rebuild the me I used to be#and every time I think I’m almost there shit derails me?#like okay first my dad and I. collide in unprecedented ways#then my back problems got worse than ever before#then I try to recover from not speaking to said dad and work throws a blow in my face that I quite frankly still haven’t really gotten over#then new body problems arise!#then we find out I definitely have pcos and can’t ignore it any longer#then everyone in my life is. moving on to a life phase I can’t follow to#but I had it all under control I was taking it in stride I was Coping#and then ……… I catch covid again#and it really triggered 1) my anxiety again in ways that. Sigh#and 2) im still not okay? it’s been three weeks and I’m still dizzy every day I have a headache all the time I am So tired I can’t focus#and my eyes are being weird#and idk that happened in the last week and also my neck is FUCKED and my shoulders feel like concrete#and last time my eyes were weird and I couldn’t focus and had a headache all the time it was also my neck#but I just…….. am 1) terrified it’s long covid I am so so so scared#2) how can I live life normally if this. keeps happening.#but mostly 3) I am so tired of it being blow after blow after blow#I am too generally busy with work or therapy or physio therapy or FUCKING pelvic floor therapy#which is a whole different kind of hell I can’t even begin to discuss on this website it makes me so uncomfortable#that I. can’t even date.#like where do I have the energy to.#I am about to turn 32 and what the fuck do I have to show for it#and what if this is it#what if? this is it?????!!???!#I don’t know if I can live with that#ugh this doesn’t even touch the root of it but I am Deeply Upset and I don’t like complaining or acting like a victim (im not!) but Jesus#I for once would just like to. be carefree. instead of feeling like I need to fix 29292993 things about myself before I can Live. fuck.
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anantaru · 5 months ago
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⚝ DAY 2 — POWER IMBALANCE
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kinktober 2024. — masterlist | ao3
— including. — blade, jing yuan, aventurine
— warnings. — fem! reader, power imbalance, oral (fem! receiving), toxic & manipulation, hard syx, dom/sub
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⚝ — BLADE
blade feels to you like a storm, his grip on you endlessly overwhelming yet not because he's forcing it on you, no, but because his dependence on you was suffocating.
the stellaron hunter was dangerous, you were very much aware of it, although never pondering on the fact that you were playing with fire here.
his cock slides in between your folds before slipping to your hole, right then, you can feel the hot push of his tip, slow at first, but persistent, burning and stretching you. blade opens you up as you clutch at his shoulders each time, you're certain you can take him, you can't— it won't fit—such always crosses your mind but, you see, your skin was burning and hungry, submitting to him, to his cock sliding in fully— so smooth on your walls, thick inside, searing.
blade clings to you like you’re the only thing tethering him to sanity, and well— maybe you were, he certainly looks at you with an intensity that borders on desperation, a string he needed to hold on to if he wanted to keep at least a little bit of humanity inside himself or else, he’d fall apart.
"you ground me," he murmurs, voice low, his hand searching for your own as he grips it a little too tightly— his neediness haunting as he slumps forward, still thrusting hungry shoves of his cock into you as the rhythm changes just a little, but the pressure was increasing, becoming more meaningful.
in this rare moments, the way his hands tremble slightly when he brushes your hair behind your ear, there’s a tenderness, yes, but you cannot shake off the feeling of being scared of him— were his words the truth? did he mean what he said? would he hurt you in the end or are you really the one to put a light in his dark, twisted world?
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⚝ — JING YUAN
jing yuan was always in control, his charm making each and every friend or foe bend to his will effortlessly— and well, you’re no exception. 
frankly, he's used to people following his lead without question, without turning on their own brains, his words were so fittingly persuasive that you barely even notice when you started agreeing with everything he said.
you whine out a breathy, "fuck, more—" as he laps at your clit, the vibrations of his hums and groans making you arch your back into him— you're so sensitive, jing yuan makes you feel all of it with his tongue, all the nerves down there and how muscle slurped and licked a stripe along your slit to tease you, shamelessly moaning against your pussy right after.
"i’m only looking out for you," he lazily mumbles into your cunt, "I know what's ugh—, what's best for you," his fucked out grin disarms you completely as you look down, admiring the view of his hands, big hands, clutching at your trembling thighs before he gives your stomach an anticipatory twist.
he's not forceful though, don't misunderstand, yeah? because simply, jing yuan doesn’t need to be, his self assured confidence made it feel like any resistance would be literally ridiculous. 
after all, his charisma pulls you in, his beauty and face being chocolate box pretty, ethereal and powerful, leaving you wanting to please him too, so badly yeah, to stay on his good side.
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⚝ — AVENTURINE
from the outside, aventurine was unable to be read— and even once you got close to him, you found yourself having more difficulties reading him.
his standards were impossibly high, that's for sure, and he never hesitates to point out when you fall short. for some reason he critiques everything you do, from the way you handle the tasks he's given you to your smallest habits, never failing in exhaustedly rolling his eyes with an edge of frustration.
however, wasn't it just amazing how he was always there to clean up the "mess" you made in getting all the tasks wrong, or anything really.
something unmistakable random could happen in your life, even just a favorite item you suddenly lost and aventurine would always be there to help you— like a white knight.
of course, you cannot question him on anything, he was your superior and losing your job would be the last thing you wanted, next to losing the little relationship you've built over the last couple of months with him.
you feels it in your legs, your stomach, your hands, your soul when he touches you— pleasures you.
it's the desire overtaking you first, making you give yourself up entirely to the harsh rhythm of his hips displaying no mercy. aventurine hisses as you squeeze him, the faintness in his head almost making him swoon as your leg tremble and his cock throbs hard in you, the tremulous thrill inside your belly building to a merciless dance.
"i’ll be here, buried right here—" he hums and grinds his hips, his fingers drawing a line on your stomach, up and down, "feel that? you feel me there?"
"not that you, fuck— deserve it," he grunts, cupping your cheeks and brushing a thumb over your lips, "you made so many mistakes today," he breathes while staring down at his cock splitting your puffy cunt.
he adds, "you should be thankful i was there,"
an embarrassed, little sorry was all you managed to get out in return and ugh— the friction of him rubbing against your walls felt absolutely sickening, like you're about to cum and scream any second now.
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©2024 anantaru do not repost, copy, translate, modify
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todorokies · 6 months ago
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WHEN THE LIGHTS ARE LOW - logan howlett
contents 𝝑𝑒 : fem!reader, nsfw, cockwarming, some fluff & angst (?) got mixed up in this, implied legal age-gap, grumpy old man logan (written with ‘logan 2017’ in mind but he isn’t sick), intimacy scares logan but he tries, 1.1k words
a/n 𝝑𝑒 : this is possibly ooc this is my first time writing for him please go easy on me! ,,,, inspired by the song ‘when the lights are low’ by the paragons
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“read to me, please?”
the air in the quite spacious room suddenly turned chilled as life around seemed to come to a halt. the eccentric buzzing of traffic seemingly stilled allowing cicadas and woodland birds to make their presence known.
fireflies tangoing into the darkened night jiving the streets alongside citizens peacefully making their way back to their residences.
it’s unlikely for a friday night to be uneventful for logan. a usual run through of the crazed day would be servicing important higher ups in his limousine, taking them to a glamorous black-tie event or a rowdy group of middle aged ladies celebrating a bride-to-be’s last night of freedom.
it was also unlikely for the said man to be in your bedroom after the hours of eight, conversing with you as the pads of his calloused fingertips ghosted over the satin silk that graced upon your body.
his tensed furrowed eyebrows relaxed for once, as he willingly leaves his on edge and guarded demeanour at your porch.
you don’t know how he was able to get the night off and frankly, you aren’t too eager to find out. rather using your energy to melt in his presence and eventually molding into one as his hazel half lidded eyes cautiously watches you straddle him then ease yourself on his semi hard cock.
his eyes immediately screwed shut followed by a throaty low groan once you bottom out, sitting completely still, your pelvises touching one another. your eyes softly flutter at the pleasurable ache as your hands found refuge around his neck and into the brushy hairs on his nape.
your question rings through his ears like a faint echo. with a quirked eyebrow, he lifts his head off the antique bed frame to face you, sharply examining your features.
“you can’t be serious?” he exasperatedly huffed out closing his eyes again and leaned back against the headboard.
you narrowed your eyes at him, “i’m dead serious. why else would you bring your glasses if you knew you had zero intentions of doing any reading?”
he doesn’t miss a beat, “i keep 'em on me at all times.” his voice is flat, not showcasing any emotion to give you more material.
you sigh, your lips pursed into a thin line while glancing at logan’s salt and pepper tufts of hair, allowing silence to fall amongst the two of you, not willing to continue the small squabble for a rather nonsensical request on your end.
that’s until you hear him scoff and mutter under his breath, “yeah, that’s what i thought.”
with a sharply slow roll of your hips you clamp down onto him, feeling his cockhead prods at your spongy spot. he loudly hisses through his teeth due to the sudden sensation, panting slightly as his fist balls up the sheets.
“you should be glad i haven’t hidden them yet, you old fuck,” you coyly beam.
logan’s brows knitted together as he shakily exhaled a deep breath to maintain —what’s left of— his composure, eyes stuck on your figure. great, you’re mocking him now, but he did have it coming he supposes.
his next movements are calculated, hesitant and uncertain as he reaches for your waist. yes, he has touched you before from head to toe, but there is always a sick gutted feeling of his that you’ll easily wither away in his arms leaving his dread to consume his soul once again.
his grip on your waist is loose, a mere nudge from a ghost, until you cuff your own hands over his to reassure his grip on you, his gaze softens.
“what do you want from me tonight?” his voice comes out as a honey dipped whisper, not what you were expecting as a rebuttal. it throws you off course, breath hitching before lightly nibbling on your bottom lip.
what exactly do you want from him tonight? when you received his sudden call five minutes before his arrival your nerves were over the moon. despite being in a relationship with logan for many months now, he always gave you an unorthodox reason to be nervous.
logan is intense. from how he carries himself to his appearance, his gaze all the way down to his speech patterns, the venom he spits out to his enemies or how he loves and cares for others so deeply; flesh, bones and all.
his love intimidates you —which is ironic in the sense that he could say the same exact thing about you— so truthfully, you don’t know what you want from him. only to be close enough to touch him, smell him, and to strip away his clothes to feel his skin onto yours.
but you choose not to say any of this, “shouldn’t i be asking you that?”
he dryly chuckles. the type of chuckle that reverberates against your own body from close proximity. you always loved when he laughed.
“i suppose you’re right, i am your guest after all.”
his larger hands begin to caress your waist, rubbing small circles with his thumb, “why do you want me to read to you?” genuine curiosity is laced in his tone. he stares up at you patiently awaiting for your answer and you now feel like a deer caught in headlights.
his undivided attention makes you shift against him causing the both of you to softly groan then you shrug, because you truly don’t know why yourself.
“i thought it would be a nice thing for us to do.” you nervously start to pick at the skin that surrounds your nails.
he simply hums in acknowledgment and soon captures your hands in his to stop you from fidgeting, “next time, bub, i just want to enjoy this at the moment.”
you break out into an earnest smile, your hands soon snaking its way out of his grasp to place them back on the base of his neck, his hands soon moves to your waist with much more confidence this time around.
“sooo, does this mean you’ll take another day off to visit me again?” your big doe eyes lit up at the possibility of spending another quiet friday night with logan by your side.
he feigns irritation, “who said i took the day off? i just didn’t have anything better to do.”
you playfully shove his shoulder before passionately locking lips with him. he’s tentative to your reactions as he bores his entire life force into you, a match has been light in the pit of his stomach as you both explored each other’s mouths.
he grunts. wanting more, craving more until you pull away, a small string of saliva follows before separating.
“well, next time when you have nothing better to do you’ll just have to read me pride and prejudice.”
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reblogs & feedback is extremely appreciated !! <3
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neil-gaiman · 8 months ago
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Hi, Mr. Gaiman.
I’m writing to you as an (ftm) trans minor who is honestly scared.
I live in the U.S., and the current state of politics is completely absurd. There have been 617 anti trans bills in 2024 alone, despite the fact that we make up at most 5% of the U.S. population.
The reason I am writing to you is to ask for support. I often see celebrities refuse to talk about trans rights or ignore the subject entirely, purely out of fear of public backlash. I hope you can understand that we are, quite frankly, under political attack from the right, and public backlash should be the least of anyone’s concern. Our entire identities are being politicized and demonized, and I think myself (and other trans people) really just need a moral boost to help us through this.
Thank you for your time.
Hang in there. I'm sorry this is happening, and I'm sorry that it's not easier for any of you.
If you can vote, vote for politicians who are less likely to support anti-trans legislation.
In the UK this reminds me so much of what happened in the 80s with Clause 28 and the demonization of Gay people under the guise of "supporting families".
History will be on your side. For now, hang in there.
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julieloves074 · 23 days ago
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‘A little bit… or a lot’ (Min Ho x Reader)
Summary: K.I.S.S resident Marco will not leave Y/n alone so the night at the club Min Ho comes to her rescue and they set themselves up in fake relationship to make sure the guy gets a hint, but will their friendship survive the blurred lines?
Warnings: kissing, divorce
Word count: 8.7K
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(Noy my GIF :))
“Not again,” I say out loud subconsciously, Kitty and I are once again in the boys flat just studying with Q, and I lay my phone face down frustrated.
Q and Kitty turn towards me immediately, annoyance showing in their eyes, but not at me “What did he say this time?” Q asks.
I just pass him my phone; Kitty gets up from lying on her stomach and looks over his shoulder, her face twists and turns as she reads the message.
“I mean it could kind of be kinda… romantic- no?”
“What can be seen as romantic?” Min Ho says walking in through the dorm door and taking off his shoes, looking between the three of us.
I let out a loud sigh and twist to lie on my back laying a pillow over my face, “It’s Marco he keeps message me,” I hug the pillow to my chest.
Q laughs, “He’s pestering her and very clearly not getting a hint,” he says pointing the phone in Min Ho’s direction, he pulls a disgusted face as he reads the message.
“They say you are what you attract,” Min Ho says with a level of sass and walks into his room closing the door behind him.
“No one has ever said that” Kitty exclaimed in a whisper and the three of us burst into a fit of laughter.
Q passed the phone back to me and I immediately threw it to the other side of the sofa, “That guy seriously needs to chill,” Q says turning back to the textbook and question sheet.
“Honestly I’m so tired of it, I’m scared he’s gonna try something in person,” I said, both my friends shoot my empathetic looks, trying to be supportive, but it doesn’t look like Marco is going to leave me alone any time soon.
Kitty started to gather up all her resources, “Okay time to stop this,” she says getting up and putting the stuff in her bag. I try to argue with her that we’ve only done half the homework questions, but she ignores me and keeps packing.
“Look I need time to get ready for this date with Praveena, I really think things could work out between us, so I want to put the effort in,” she explains, Q and I look at each other and identical smiles spread across our faces, “Plus I’m still yet to match make you and I think it’s time you find someone for you, and it might help Marco move on,” I give her the can we not talk about this right now look but then Q agrees.
He stands up to leans against the sofa arm and looks down at me, “We’re gonna have so much fun, come on smileee,” he says reaching out an arm and pulling me up.
We agree to finish the work tomorrow and to meet in two hours to head out to the club. A new DJ was playing and most everyone in the friendship group wanted to go.
When we arrive the atmosphere is perfect, the music is energetic but cool, the lights and decorations are the exact level of out there and complimentary, and everyone seems to be enjoying themselves. Kitty is quickly stolen away by Praveena and taken to the dance floor.
Dae, Q and I make our way to get mocktails before also heading to the dance floor, I watch Q looking around as if he were shopping for guys, which to be fair was exactly his plan for the night- a little distraction from the stress of tomorrow’s race and I was not going to stop him. Dae on the other hand looked stiff and uncomfortable but trying to move around doing something that kind of resembled dance moves.
“Oh my god,” Q says suddenly, and I follow his eyeline only to be met with the one and only, enemy on and off the track: Jin. Q looks… frankly offended at the sight and excuses himself.
When I turn back around to Dae he’s disappeared too, I look around but I can’t see him so go back to the bar to get another mocktail, then I finally find him talking to a group of girls at the back of the club and then I find Q making out with Jin so I went back for another drink and sat at the bar just people watching, all my friends were spread around.
That’s when I heard his voice. “Y/n!” Marco said sitting down next to me, I closed my eyes for a second. Great – now him. I couldn’t have my sad song music video moment, and I had to talk to him.
“Marco,” I say and it accidentally comes out a little too high pitched.
“What is such a pretty girl doing sat at the bar by herself?” he asks shuffling his seat closer and ordering a drink, being a good friend, I wanted to tell him, by not cockblocking any of my friends but I just don’t answer.
I finish the last of my drink and turn around to put it on the counter, in turn he places his hand on the counter almost touching my arm and leans closer to me, “Did you wanna get out of here? We could go grab some food or something,” he asked and I cringed internally.
Opening my mouth to answer he interrupts me, “Come on Y/n, we can go to that barbeque palace you love,”.
I grab my bag and stand as I say, “Marco I don’t-”
“There you are babe,” someone says from behind me, I feel an arm being strung against my shoulder, I turn to see Min Ho just as he presses a kiss to my forehead. He sees the confusion, and maybe a little fear in my eyes and nods subtly to Marco.
“Yep, just been waiting for you,” I reach my arm around his middle, he pulls me closer to him.
“Bye Marco,” Min Ho says simply and turns us away from the brunette walking in the direction of the exit.
What the hell just happened.
“What the hell just happened?” I said out loud this time as the outside breeze soothed me.
Min Ho just sighed taking his arm away, “I just saved your ass, you’re welcome by the way,” he explains.
“Thank you,” I say still in the state of shock.
“He really must not talk to many girls,” he continues, “you looked, repulsed, to say the least,” then one of his brows raised, “I can’t tell who I feel worse for, you, or that poor, helpless guy,”.
I shove my shoulder into his slightly, he swayed to one side by a step, a smile playing on his lips, I shook my head in response.
“What were you doing at the club anyway? I thought you said,” and then I turned on my best Mino Ho accent impression, “The sweat and heat of those places is terrible for my skin,”. The cool January breeze was rustling against my skin, and it was a pleasant contrast to the club which was starting to feel claustrophobic.
“I wanted to hear the DJ live, I’m considering hiring her for my next party,” he says placing his hands into his pockets, I wrapped mine around my jumper.
“So how long has this guy- what’s his name Mark- been bothering you?” Min Ho asked as we walk out towards the dorm buildings.
“Marco,” I say- he knew his name just chose to be petty, then I ran my hand through my hair but didn’t look at him when I answer, “Honestly pretty much since beginning of last semester but the messaging started getting more frequent over the break,”.
“Why haven’t you told anyone about it earlier?” he asked as if I was being an inconvenience to him, I explain to him that it’s never been anything big, he wasn’t being rude or demanding he just didn’t seem to understand that I wasn’t interested and the more I was pushing the more he was latching on.
“No every man can be as good as me, clearly,”
“Clearly,” I join in on his banter, “but seriously, thank you for saving me, I know how much how that must have killed you inside, to have to align yourself with me in such a way,” I said exaggerating, of course he didn’t actually feel this way, we are friends, but it was an inside joke in the friend group that Min Ho was just better than everyone.
Min Ho stopped in his track taking in a deep breath, “Fine, I’ll be your pretend boyfriend,”.
“What?- Min Ho I’m not asking you to-” the words fell out my mouth quickly.
He brushed me off immediately, “Until Marco leaves you alone. You should be thankful that I’m such a good person,” he starts walking again. I take a few quick paced steps to catch up to him.
“Min Ho you really don’t have to, I think he’s got it,” I argued but I  agree with the words coming out of my mouth, if anything a one off like this was likely to propel Marco more, as if this were some kind of challenge for all I knew.
“You’re so ungrateful,”
“Ok fine,” I say defeated, “Thank you,” this time with more emotion.
“It was time to do some charity work anyway,” he said messing up my hair, my face scrunched up in reaction. The rest of the way home in his car was spent arguing about what the best snack for film night was, then what the best film is and soon enough we were back on K.I.S.S grounds.
Min Ho walked me to the door of the girl’s dorm, now that we were alone we discussed what this arrangement meant, and what we were going to tell our friends. The answer was nothing, we were gonna leave them in the dark, one of them was likely to blabber and this needed to seem real. We would act as a couple in front of others but mostly when Marco was around. Not going over the top but just enough to make him believe. When we got to the door we looked at each other.
“What do we tell them when they ask how this happened?”
“We say that you finally fell for my handsome look and irresistible charm,” he says running a hand through his hair, “I mean it was bound to happen, everyone does,”
“Okay Min Ho, whatever,” and then we quickly came up with our cover story.
“Night L/n”
“Goodnight Min Ho,”
Then he was walking in the direction of the boy’s dorm and I look at my phone that was buzzing mercilessly the last few minutes, a bunch of texts were shining brightly back at me.
Kitty: Where are you?
Kitty: Helloooo
Kitty: We want to leave soon
Q: Girl we’re worried answer the phone
Q: missed call (2)
Kitty: missed call (3)
Yuri: Y/n meet us by the front door
Kitty: Swear I’m going to expose all ur secrets if you don’t answer
Shoot.
I was so wrapped up in the Marco situation and then Min Ho that I didn’t even think to text any of them. Not wanting to call any of them right now I text Kitty a quick explanation, that I wasn’t feeling well and Min Ho took us home.
My reply was met with several other messages, but I just got inside our room, got changed and jumped into bed. Twenty minutes later the girls arrived in the dorm but I was  pretending I was asleep, which I almost was, so a little white lie. They would’ve wanted to know what happened and I wasn’t quite ready to fake having a relationship in front of my friends.
<3 <3 <3
Over the next few days all was pretty normal, I didn’t see much of Min Ho outside of lessons, he was busy with avoiding his father and I was busy helping Kitty figure out who this Simon guy we are searching for is. Though on Thursday morning there was some flowers delivered to our door whilst we were having breakfast, I managed to get to the card before the girls thankfully and since then they wouldn’t stop prying.
That was until tonight, our weekly movie nights, I was feelings blessed with the fact that it was finally Friday, but I also didn’t know how to behave.
“I’m dreading whatever we’re gonna watch tonight,” Yuri says as we walk through the boy’s dorm building.
Kitty is flinging her popcorn bag, “I know I hate it when the boys pick, it’s always some kind of action film,” she says.
“They’re not always that bad,” Julianna says bringing Yuri’s hand, which she was holding, up to her lips to give it a kiss.
Even though I didn’t mind the action films or the thrillers it was when they put on horror films that I wanted to run and hide- I don’t judge what people like but it’s lowkey not for me.
“Oh guys remind me to ask Jin for that smoothie recipe before we leave tonight,” Yuri says as we arrive at the door. Kitty reaches for the handle and lets herself right in, we all take our shoes off and say hello to everyone. Giving the boys the benefit of the doubt they did prepare hot drinks and brought some blankets into the living area.
“Are you girls ready to dive into Infested?” Min Ho says coming out his and Dae’s room, the latter following behind him with a closed lipped smile.
“Nooo,” I drag out and look at Q begging him for some support, he just gives me one of those pitying smiles. That night on the way back from the club I told Min Ho that I refused to go watch the film in cinemas or at all.
Dae pats my shoulder as he walks past, “Sorry Y/n it was Min Ho’s turn to pick this time,” he said taking the drinks from the counter and passing them out to those who have already sat down.
Min Ho took a place on the edge of the sofa, I helped Q grab the bowls with snacks and lay them on the table as the others chatted, Jin was using the remote to turn on the film. I look towards Kitty to go join her and sit in front of the sofa when Min Ho catches my eye.
He nods his head ever so subtly, urging me to come sit next to him, I abide with some reluctance.
“L/n” he says lifting the blanket, I sit down with my legs curled up to my body, “I really do think you’re going to hate this movie,” his smile is sadistic, I go to elbow him and he flinches away.
“That’s my opinion,” I say sweetly.
After asking if everyone was ready Jin turned the movie on, and as expected it was creepy and eerie and my mouth was curled up in discomfort within the first 15 minutes. When everyone is deeply focused on the film I turn my head to Min Ho slightly.
“Also- flowers. Really?” I whispered shaking my head.
“Do you want this to be believable or not?” he said back still watching the screen, does he actually send flowers to the girls he was dating, just because?
“Who knew you were such a gentleman,” I teased and I just watched him roll his eyes before turning back to the screen, my distraction did not want to distract me from whatever the hell was happening on the screen.
About half an hour passed before jumpscare scared me so bad that I turned my head to the side covering my eyes and almost hit Min Ho who was sat very close to me. A low chuckle escaped him, then he was laying his arm around me, I felt myself stiffening, it was unexpected, but it only took a second for my body to relax.
After Kitty returned from the toilet later on during the movie she looked at me, her eyes widening as if I’d grown another head, her eyes scanned from me to Min Ho, back to me then to him in a questioning look. After I failed to satisfy her need for answer she sat back down and pulled her phone out, then I felt another two pairs of eyes on me, but I forced myself to keep my eyes on the screen. How long did we have of this film yet?
At some point Min Ho started to brush his fingers back and forth across the skin on arm, it was calming, and if it was anyone else, in any other circumstance I’d find it endearing, romantic.
When the movie was finished, I was half asleep on the sofa, my head on Min Ho’s chest, no one said anything about our position as they started getting up and cleaning, but they did look back once or twice to check if they were seeing things right.
I got up to help washing up, putting my jumper back on after unfurling from the warm blanket.
“So don’t worry guys we’ll be back with a super cheesy romance next week!” Kitty says clapping her hands together and then hugging Q goodbye. I laid the tea towel on counter ready to go get my shoes back on too.
One step into my journey I was stopped, everyone was still chatting and getting ready to leave, as a pair of arms wrapped around me.
“Bye babe,” came Min Ho’s voice, a little louder than usual, just to make sure everyone heard, and before I knew what was happening, he was turning me around slightly, his eyes going to my lips, then to my eyes, and he clearly did not read the panic in my eyes as he leaned down and kissed me briefly.
“Bye,” I said almost breathlessly, turning back to see all our friends trying to hide their shock.
The walk back to our dorm was very quiet, Yuri complained that no one reminded her to get the smoothie recipe from Jin and Kitty was listing rom coms, but what would usually be loud was rather quiet.
That was until we were all within the space of our dorm.
“What the hell was that?!” Yuri exclaimed  
“Yeah, I think you have some explaining to do,” Kitty says fidgeting excitedly
I hang up my jacket before turning back to them, “Guys it’s not a big deal,”
“Not a big deal!” Kitty started, “Is this where you disappeared to last week after ditching us at the club
“Actually, you guys all ditched me…”
Julianna joined in “So not the point, but seriously you can’t say it’s not a big deal,”
“You and Min Ho have been butting heads all of last semester,” Yuri states.
“That’s irrelevant, what happened that night?” Kitty pestered excitedly.
I lifted myself to sit on the island counter, “He ended up coming to the club so he could listen to the DJ, he thought he might hire her for his next party, I bumped into him on my way outside, the hot air was giving me a headache and we just talked, and then came back and talked some more,” I pull my lips into a shy smile.
“Just talked?” Yuri says consciously.
“Okay talked and then, we kissed, it was an in the moment thing but then yeah, we’re just in this kind of middle ground where I don’t really know what’s going on,”
“Oh my God, so the flowers the other day were from him?” Yuri pieces it all together.
“I mean I have literally been telling you guys for moths,” Kitty says turning to the other two girl putting her hand out, palm upwards, “You both owe me,” she says. I shook my head and jumped down from the counter, Kitty had once said as a one off to me that maybe this line of annoyance with each other was more, but I just brushed her off, and now I feel bad tricking her, but it wouldn’t be for long.
<3 <3 <3
We all got stuck into the semester really fast the next few weeks, lessons were harder, and Kitty was actively doing opposite of what her intention was this semester with Praveena and Yuri, but at least we were making progress on her family situation. Min Ho and I were acting like a happy couple every time we all met up or Marco was around, which was decreasing the more times he saw Min Ho with his arm around me or whispering something judgy about someone else in my ear making me laugh.
This meant we started spending more time together and I was learning so much about him, one night when everyone else went out we cooked dinner, well more accurately he cooked dinner whilst I tried helping but he just sent me away to the other side of the kitchen island and I watched him sheepishly.
“Stop looking at me like that L/n” he said not even looking up from the vegetables he was chopping, and I felt a blush rise on my face.
There was also the first time I spent time in his room, we had been texting and I was complaining about homework for one of the classes and he told me to just come over and he would help me. We were doing homework sat on his bed listening to music, his back pressed against the wall, and I was laying on my stomach facing him as we worked out the answers.
The someone creaked open the door slightly, “I want to come in so stop making out!” Dae warned and Min Ho and I looked at each other as if that was the most disgusting thought. He was not a bad kisser, in fact the last few weeks I’ve found out quite the opposite, but I wasn’t about to boost his ego.
We all also ended up going to the Moon’s cabin for the holiday weekend, unfortunately his dad didn’t come up, Min Ho said that there was something more important with his favourite son. He played it off cooly, but I could see the hurt in his eyes but he said he didn’t want to talk about it.
That first night when everyone else had fallen asleep I snuck out to the kitchen to get some water, and there was Min Ho sat on the sofa scrolling through his phone, he looked tired with the light illuminating his face in the dark.
“Can’t sleep?” I asked, but he just murmured a reply. I grabbed a blanket and went to sit down next to him, “maybe you should talk to him Min Ho,” I raised the idea gently.
He shook his head and put his head down, “And say what? Oh by the way dad thanks for not coming to the weekend getaway you wanted and always choosing everything and everyone else over me, I don’t think so” he says sharply but I know it’s directed at me. I turn his face to look at me, the persona falls then.
I put my arms around him and pull him close into a hug, running my hand up and down his back and nape as his head is hidden against my neck.
“Be careful L/n or you’ll actually fall in love with me,” he said turning his head ever so slightly to look at me.
“You wish,”
But he didn’t move away, we sat in silence for a while and when I whispered his name I got no reply, only to notice that he’d fallen asleep.
The Kitty came out the corridor to see us, I was running a hand through his hair as I was also starting to doze off, and Kitty whispered, “Is he okay”.
I nodded, “Yeah he will be,”, and then she was heading back to the bedroom with an I told you smile. Over the last few weeks, I did come to care for Min Ho more, as a friend, I got to know more about him and how he’s actually a human with his own shit going on, but he just doesn’t let people in. The rest if our time was spent, playing games and sitting in the hot tub in the evening, there was minimal drama apart from the whole Yuri, Julianna, Kitty and Praveena love letter, and Min Ho’s dad bailing but we made the most of the trip.
By the time we got back it was only two weeks until the school’s annual ball, this year’s theme was going to be ‘Blossom Ball’. In all honesty I didn’t think Min Ho and I would be keeping this thing up for so long but maybe it was time to end it before the ball, I knew more than a couple girls were hoping for my downfall so they could go with him, and in part I did feel guilty, one of these girls could be someone he could really fall for.
After overhearing another not-so-subtle conversation in one of my extracurricular classes I decided that it was time to put it to an end.
That was until I was walking through the common room area and was bombarded by 5 people with signs, pink glittery writing spread out on them, music was turned on really loud behind me, a well known Korean love song. The signs read:
‘Y/n’ ‘Will you’ ‘go to’ ‘the dance’ ‘with me?’
Then Marco burst through the crowd of guys with a single flower in his hands, dropping down to one knee in front of me.
I could feel the eyes of all the other students, and their whispers, mostly judging Marco, because like come on, from the onlooker of an outsider, who asks out a girl to prom when she’s had a boyfriend for the past two months? I could feel the frustration building up under my skin.
“Marco can you just give it a break! I have a boyfriend, that I really like for gods sake. Leave me alone!” I say with more fire than I had intended
“I guess that’s my cue, excuse me mate,” Min Ho says coming from behind Marco who is stuck with a mortified face looking towards us.
“Now that that joke of a man is out the way, will you go to the Blossom Ball with me L/n” he asked lifting the pink roses he held, for a moment something fluttered in my heart and I reminded myself this is not real, it’s for show. I just needed to get through the ball and then we could go back to the way things were, and my heart would stop doing summersaults every time he touched me or smiled at me.
I pulled the ‘are you joking face’ and a smile, a genuine smile, spreads over my lips, I can almost drown out the pathetic complaints from Marco. A but of guilt was eating away at me but not even those surrounding us were paying him any pity, still those who were looking  were looking at Min Ho and I.
“Yes, of course,” I reply and reaching for the flowers, the second they’re out of his hands both of them are on my face and he kisses me boldly and I can feel myself blush at the reactions of all the students. The thing about Min Ho was that he didn’t need big signs or loudly blaring music to make something grand and meaningful.
“Well, I hope you have a black dress to wear so you can match my suit,”
“And what If I don’t?” I asked in a challenge.
“Then I guess you’ll be going with Mr grand gesture over there,” he points his thumb behind his back and shrugs before walking away. I watch him walk away for a moment, the audacity of this kid.
“You coming?” he asked turning around briefly and I shake my head before catching up with him.
<3 <3 <3
Thankfully the dress that I bought a while back was black and I have to admit I was looking fucking hot, with my hair curled and let down, my makeup and the black and white corsage that Min Ho dropped off earlier.
“Well well well, Min Ho is being treated tonight,” Kitty says coming out from the bathroom, now too in her dress, a satin red gown, she looked absolutely stunning, anyone would be lucky to have her.
“And who are you planning on wooing tonight Miss Covey,” I said pointing up and down her body, “You look stunning Kitty, all eyes will be on you,” I tell her and she comes give me a hug, everything in Kitty’s love life was still a little bit on fire and in chaos but she was dealing with it, I was there for her. She was doing okay and we found her family, who wasn’t exactly talking to her yet but we got the letters from Peter and we would make them listen one way or another.
We finished getting ready and headed out, the ball was on the other side of campus in one of the new buildings, I couldn’t wait to see all the decorations, and the view was said to be absolutely stunning. We met Yuri and Julianna outside the dorm building and made our way over together. The air was a perfect mix of fresh but also pleasantly warm so none of us had to wear jackets.
“You guys all look absolutely fire,” Q states the second he sees us in an exaggerated voice, complimenting little things about our looks and conveying that we may burn the building down with how hot we look.
“Is it time we talk about you now diva? Come on give us a spin,” Kitty exclaims and helps him do a little twirl. Then Jin comes back with 2 drinks and drags Q to the dance floor, Julianna and Yuri follow.
“So,” Kitty says hands behind her back and looking out at the huge room, it truly was stunning, there was petals everywhere and the colour scheme mixed pink and white and black and gold, it looked elegant, and almost too fancy for a school, “Where’s the lucky guy?” she asks.
“His dad needed something from him, but he should be here soon,” I said and spotted Praveena in my eyeline, Kitty’s gaze followed mine, “Maybe now’s the time?” I suggested, Kitty has been trying to work up the courage to talk to her since everything went down at the cabin but she can’t seem to find a way and it’s been eating away at her.
She asked five times if I was okay being left along for a while and I urged her to go, she deserved to be happy, and something was telling me that Praveena might be willing to hear her out. I headed over to the bar to get myself a drink, pulling out my phone to see a message from my mom asking me to call me when I’ve got a quiet minute. A wave of anxiety passes through me.
“Hi, are you okay?” I look up at the unfamiliar voice.
“Excuse me?”
“Sorry, I’m Josh, you just started to look really pale I thought you were about to faint or something,” he stuck his hand out, the boy has dark blonde hair, and he is learning against the bar with a friendly smile.
I shoved my phone back into my little purse, and shook his hand, “No I’m okay, thanks though,”
“Unpleasant message?” he asks and sits down, I take a seat next to him and explain that my family had a poor history of messaging me something really vague things when it was actually something serious and it would make me worry, he then took it upon himself to make me laugh, in his words laugher was one of the best medicines. I found he was from the year above and originally from Canada, and that he wanted my number and to take me out.
The conversation was enjoyable, and he bought me another drink so I gave him my number, he even wanted to dance but I couldn’t not save my first dance for my ‘boyfriend’, Kitty would be devastated. When he left to go to talk to some of his friends, I looked at the time, I hadn’t realised an hour and a half had passed already.
It was then that a figure walking in caught my eye. Min Ho was wearing a stunning black and white suit, his hair in his classic style and yet it looked extra lush right now. Watching him run his hand through it felt as though it was in slow motion. Q who was stood near the entrance caught his searching eyes and pointed in my direction.
“You look… pathetic,” he says in that very Min Ho way of his as he walks over, head turning slightly to the side observing my dress.
I smile subconsciously, “You too,”.
“I’m sorry I’m so late you know how my dad is, when he’s in a good mood it’s one thing after another,” he said earnestly.
I shook my head, brows scrunching, “Oh no don’t worry, I met a new friend, so he kept me company,”
“Who was it?”
“His names Josh, he’s in the year above us,” I say but Min Ho doesn’t seem to look impressed.
He reached his hand forward, a few strands of hair falling forwards, “Come on let’s dance,” he says completely ignoring what I just said, “You think people will believe you’re actually my girlfriend if I don’t even dance with you,”.
A reminder rings in my head, “True, Marco might think it’s his time to swoop in,” I say and something about his facial expression changes ever so slightly, the change so small and sudden that I can’t read it before it’s gone.
He doesn’t say anything just takes a hold of my hand and pulls me towards the dance floor, we stand before each other for less than a second before I reach my hands to rest around his neck, a small awkward chuckle escapes him. This wasn’t new, I have been in very close contact with him, but this felt different.
“Plus, I know this is your favourite song,” he says looking right into my eyes, as if he could see right into my soul.
We talked about Kitty, and Q and Jin, and his dad, and what was going to happen with the big talent competition, and what our plans were for the summer neither of us noting that when these plans were happening this was going to be over. Without either of us realising about three songs had passed, we made each other laugh and then tried to pull serious faces but my attempts were poor in comparison to his.
“This is not fair
“I lo- I really, really like your laugh,” he says correcting himself, I brush him off and move one arm to brush my hair behind my ear. He lifted his hand and tucked the side of my hair behind my ear, then his fingers went to my chin to lift my gaze towards him, his eyes scanning my face.
“L/n” he said, and I could feel my heart rate increase.
“Y/n!” Kitty’s voice shouted out as she approached with our friends, the music turned upbeat and she was pulling my arm to come dance with them, and that’s how the rest of the dance was spent, drinking fancy looking mocktails and running around and dancing with our friends.
It was a few days later when my mom had flown into Seoul and was going to meet me in a restaurant at the edge of town, I told Min Ho that I was more than capable of going by myself, but he insisted that drive and come with me, I only let him when he agreed to stay in the car. In the car he argued at me about not telling him my mom was flying in and that she could have used his family’s private jet rather than coach but I told him he was just being ridiculous.
When we arrived at the restaurant I saw mom through the window, she was wearing bright colours and had a gleaming smile on her lips as she scrolled on her phone. Some of the anxiety that I was feeling the last couple of days started to fizzle away. I pulled the sleeves of the hoodie that I stole from Min Ho in the car up and walked in.
“Y/n honey!” my mom stood up to give me an embrace.
“How are you mom?” I asked, “I’ve missed you, and dad,” I said I took the seat opposite her.
She brushes her hair behind her ear, “Oh it’s been quite chaotic I do have to say,” she starts and grabs a menu, “But let’s order food first then I’ll explain,” she said, I swallowed down and even though I wanted to argue I chose not to, not yet.
The food arrived and it was delicious, mom was talking telling me about some work drama and my aunt’s new baby which was lovely, but she was avoiding whatever she came here to tell me about. After she laid down her cutlery and picked up her phone I spoke up.
“Mom, can you tell me what’s going on?” I asked nervously.
The look in her eyes when she looked up at me had my heart dropping, brows burrowing and worry painting itself over my face.
“Your dad and I are getting a divorce,”
The world stopped. It was like I’d heard her say the words, but they weren’t registering in my head.
“We’ve been separated since you went back to school after the break,”
“What? How long has this been going on?” I asked frantic.
Mom moved her hand over the table and grab mine, they were soft and warm, “About halfway through last semester, we- we’ve been trying to make it work but we’ve decided we’ll be happier this way,” she said, her thumb running over my skin was not comforting. In all truth it was making me feel nauseous.
I didn’t say another word, I grabbed my phone and stood up, putting it in my back pocket and ignoring my mom’s words, her calls out to me. The only thing I could see clearly was the door, I needed fresh air.
When I was outside I couldn’t stop walking, I headed towards the outside area of the restaurant, towards the back of the fenced land.
“L/n!” a voice called but I didn’t turn around.
“Y/n!” they called again, at this point I reached the end of the land looking outward tears rolling down my face.
“Y/n are you okay? What happened?” Min Ho was asking frantically looking me over.
“They’re getting a divorce,” I whispered, the phrase sounded foreign on my lips, “Which means it was all for nothing,”
His brows furrow and he steps closer, “What was for nothing?”
“My whole childhood I spent listening to them argue, being the one in the middle, smoothing out the creases, bring the common ground, it was all for nothing,” I said again and felt the tears doubling.
“It’s going to be okay, it’s going to get better,” he said and reached his arms wide towards me, I took a few deep breaths and let out a sob, before wrapping my arms around him and letting him pull me close as I cried into his chest, shaking my head in denial.
He brushed his fingers over my hair moving it out of my face, holding me tightly.
“You must think I’m such a mess. You definitely did not sign up for this,” I say trying to add a playful tone, but it came out more pathetic than anything.
“Y/n I’d be more worried if you weren’t reacting like this,” he said laying his chin on my head, “You’re” he paused momentarily, “You’re kind and caring and loyal and have had a lot of pressure put on you your whole life, it’s normal for you to feel like this, this panicking need to fix it, even when you know you can’t make everyone happy,” he explained and I could feel my heart start to slow as I followed his breathing subconsciously.
After another few moments I took another deep breath and pulled away, still holding onto the sides of his open denim jacket, and him the sleeves on the hoodie, not much further apart.
“Thank you,” I said, and he wiped the last of my tears off from under my eye.
“That’s what I’m here for,” he said and then his eyes went from my eyes to my lips and back up, I could feel him leaning closer and my body naturally reacted, as if it were a dance it knew well. Then his lips were on mine, and they were soft and warm, and moved at exactly the right pace. I kissed back without a second thought, poured everything I was feeling into it, he pulled me close to his body. That’s when the second thought came and I pulled away.
“Min Ho, stop, what are we doing?” I asked, running my hand over my forehead, everything in my head a big mixture of mixed emotions and I could feel the tears building up again, the pressure in my chest making my shoulders rise, “There’s no one here, no need to pretend,”
“Y/n”
“In fact, I think the mission has ran its course,” I started, “Marco’s not bothering me anymore, so thank you, for everything, really. But we’ve been avoiding this because we don’t want things to be weird, but I think it’s time to come back to reality,” the words felt like sandpaper in my throat, “we should head back,” I said looking at his face, such a mixture of emotions on his face that I couldn’t read them. I forced myself to walk past him, he didn’t follow straight away but then his steps echoed behind mine.
We sat in silence the whole way back to K.I.S.S and I got out the car before he could say anything, I rushed to my dorm only to be met with all three of the girls upon arrival. The second they spotted me, all faces concerned and I started to cry again. Greving my parents divorce and what felt like the loss of a friendship I so desperately didn’t want to end, my words were harsh, and I didn’t want to lose his him, but his face was a clear sign.
They all questioned what happened, Julianna made me a tea, Yuri brought in a blanket and Kitty cooed me in her arms. I didn’t mention Min Ho, I didn’t know how to go about that yet, I didn’t want to make either of us look like dickheads, ending this right after what I found out about my parents.
I managed to give myself a huge migraine, so I went to bed early, and fell asleep after crying for what felt like hours.
When I woke up in the middle of the night I looked at my phone to see the time, and what was a few messages from Min Ho.
(20:30) Posh boy: Are you feeling any better?
(20:58) Posh boy: Do you need anything? I can bring some chocolate or ice cream
(21:25) Posh boy: Please answer I’m worried about you
The last was sent a couple minutes ago,
(02:23) Posh boy: I know you’re asleep, but I’ve ordered your favourite tea and those biscuits that you love to steal from me, they should get here tomorrow
(03:00) Posh boy: Night L/n
I turned my phone back on its other side and turned around to face the other side in my bed, and forced myself to go back to sleep.
<3 <3 <3
I barley left the dorm for days, at the end of the weekend I sent an email to Alex explain the situation and explaining that I needed a few days, he accepted the request if I kept on top of the work. On Wednesday I went back to lessons, I hadn’t spoken to Min Ho since that day, he was probably avoiding me, just like I was avoiding him.
Josh and I had been texting a load since the night of the ball and I was staring to feel like maybe it could go somewhere, he respected that I needed some space right now but was already planning on some activities for us to do when I was up for it. It was making my heart hurt a little less.
When Friday rolled around, I knew I would have to face him: move night. 
The girls got in their comfies in the evening and were grabbing the snacks we bought earlier in the day, ready to head out to the boy’s room. I was dreading it and if the girls realised, I was being quiet they didn’t say anything.
When we arrived all was pretty normal. We made hot drinks and put out the snacks. Min Ho didn’t say anything to me and I hadn’t engaged either. He was sitting in his usual spot on the side of the sofa but I took a seat on Kitty’s side and laid my head on her shoulder, she quickly laid her arm around me and put her head on mine, rubbing my arm to soothe me, to tell me she’s got me. I think they all knew something was off between Min Ho and I too, that it wasn’t just the divorce I was upset about anymore, but they we’re giving me time.
I paid very little attention to the film and was ready to leave as soon as it was over. When we were back into our room Kitty sighed and turned around to me, “What’s going on with you and Min Ho, you guys seemed off tonight?” she asked.
I turned to her quickly, “We’ve ended things,” I say quickly “I think we’re figuring out how to behave around each other again,” I said earnestly.
Kitty looked both confused and worried, “Did something happen? Don’t get me wrong I love the guy but if he hurt you, I swear,” she started coming over to sit on the edge of my bed.
I gave her a sad smile, “Kitty, we just didn’t work,” I said and everything about the look on her face said she didn’t believe me, but she took the hint when I slid down my pillow and wrapped myself up in my duvet.
On Monday when I was walking to Mr Moon’s class for managers when I overheard Kitty and Min Ho talking inside, I quickly stepped back and listened from outside.
“Min Ho you’re losing her, she was so happy, literally glowed when you guys first got together, what happened?” Kitty demanded, “and don’t tell me things just didn’t work out because I’ve already heard that excuse, be honest with me,”.
I could hear a shuffle, and Min Ho taking a deep breath, “I don’t think she’d want us to be having this conversation right now,” he said.
‘Min Ho whatever you did I can see in your eyes that you care for her, so fix it before it’s too late,” Kitty says softly this time, then there’s a silence, “Oh my god,” she continued, “It wasn’t you, she ended it,” Kitty said.
“No, Kitty come on, it was a mutual decision,” he tried to argue, he tried to put in some conviction into it, but the lie was coming out weak.
“Min Ho,” Kitty said with conviction, “If you care for her you’ve got to fight, one thing I’ve learned from Lara-Jeans is that love isn’t easy and doesn’t always start in the way you expect it to, but it is worth it,” she said.
“Oh, hey Y/n,” Praveena said coming up to me, I could hear shuffles in the classroom “I wonder what Mr Moons has planned for this lesson,” she said completely ordinarily.
“Sorry I’ve got to go,” I said walking away quickly.
Later that afternoon after lessons had finished, I was leaving the main building to head back to the dorm, we were all having dinner in the boy’s dorm tonight and I was already running late because I had to tutor and bless the girl, but she was clueless. I was trying to use my arms to shield my face as much as possible from the rain that chucking down.
Then I heard a voice shout out, I turned around to see Min Ho, waking towards me.
“Y/n!” he called out and I stopped in my tracks, “finally you give me the time of day,” he says sharply, his tone makes me stand up straighter, “firstly so much for staying friends and acting normal,” he said and then ran a hand through his hair, water dripping down his face, “secondly-”
I interrupted him, “I’m sorry,”
“Y/n/”
“Look I’ve been talking to Josh and I-” this time he tried to interrupt me but I prevailed “Min Ho, he’s a good guy and I think,” I sighed, running my tongue over my lips, “I could really like him, and there’s plenty of girls waiting for you to give them a chance, but this thing between us, we blurred the lines and we need to stop” I said with the frustration coming through, rain falling harshly down my face, this is already hard enough, to know this is going to end, so why is he making it harder, giving my heart beats of hope, “We both deserve something real,” I sounded tired, even to my own ears.
“Y/n I don’t want this to end,” his voice came out just above a whisper, and I felt my heartbeat triple.
“What?” I asked, quieter than I expected.
“Look I know this was not the plan, but- I went to the club that night because I saw Marco and his buddies leave and they were teasing him about finally making a move on you, so I followed them, but I didn’t know why yet, then somewhere in this whole situation I realised that I was jealous, then it became real and I realised I didn’t want it to end, and ever time you’d bring up that we we’re doing it because of Marco it crushed me,” he said and I just stated at him.
“I think I fell in love with you,” he said looking at me, the rain pouring down his face, “A little bit… or a lot,”.
My eyes scan his face frantically. Min Ho had fallen for me. Just like I had fallen for him. Before he could move or say anything else, I fling my arms around him and kiss him passionately, holding him as close as I possible could, and that was still not close enough.
“I love you too,” I said after I pulled away, laying my forehead against his, I could see him smile before I closed my eyes again and he pulled me into a tight embrace. It felt like the relief was coursing through both of our bodies.
“It’s good to hear you finally admit it,” he said back to his natural cockiness, “Everyone eventually falls for me, it’s my charm unfortunately,” he said.
“Well stop using it on other girls or I might get jealous,”
“You know what? That does kind of make me feel some sort of way, I quite like my imaginary version of you jealous and it’s quite hot,” he muses, and I just pull him in for another kiss, running my hands through his hair. His hands on my waist pulling me close.
Then when we came back into the building, whilst still soaked, we came clean to our friends, and whilst most of them were shocked Kitty was very offended, but all in all they were glad we worked it out because it was obvious long before this that there was something bubbling under the surface.
“I can’t believe you pulled a Lara-Jean on me! Now I’ve fallen for it twice,” Kitty said running her hand over her forehead.
“I think this means Y/n is taking over the title of chaos queen,” Q said shaking his head, and everyone started laughing, Min Ho had his arm around me, and I naturally leaned into his chest as I giggled, and he kissed my forehead.
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vroomvro0mferrari · 3 months ago
Text
CL16 | She’s Busy
Summary: You and Charles have been friends for ages, but recently his protectiveness has reached new heights, ruining your every chance at love. It's high time you put an end to it, and you know just how.
Based on this request!
Charles x fem!Reader, friends to lovers
WC: 4.2K
Warnings: Maybe some cursing? Also, Charles shows some red flags…
Masterlist
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“I can’t tonight, Cha,” Y/N told him, a small frown on her face – she knew it’d disappoint him.
“Why not? Do you have plans already?”
“No,” she lied. “I’m just really tired and I think it’s better if I stay in tonight.”
“You can stay in at my place, you’re already here. I can ditch Kika and Pierre, I can cook—”
“Charles,” Y/N protested.
“Okay, I won’t cook, we can order something and watch a movie. It’ll be so much more fun than staying in alone.” 
“I just need some alone time, okay? I’ve had a really busy week, and I just want to nap on my couch and eat ice cream. And I don’t want you to miss out on your dinner with Pierre and Kika. We can have dinner next week?” She offered as a last attempt to convince him, an awkward smile on her face.
Charles sighed. “Fine, but you’re not getting out of it!”
She nodded, slightly amused at his pouty face, before planting a quick kiss on his cheek and heading out the door. 
Y/N had known Charles for ages. They met when they were younger, still in school, and had stuck together through thick and thin. She’d been there for Charles when Jules died, when his father passed, and when he finally realised his lifelong dream of driving for Ferrari, and Charles had done the same for her. No matter how busy his life got, he was always there when Y/N needed him.
So was Pierre. Y/N had met him through Charles, as the two boys were inseparable from a young age, and she was immediately absorbed into their friendship. Pierre was incredibly accepting of her, and she quickly grew to love him just as much as Charles, even though he had moved away when they were older. It made it more difficult to maintain the friendship, especially since she didn’t see Pierre every other weekend like Charles did, but they managed.
In some situations it was good that Pierre lived in a different country; it made it more difficult for him to tell Y/N’s secrets to Charles. Now, she didn’t keep many secrets – actually, until a few months back she didn’t keep any secrets from Charles, but the change in the situation called for it.
Charles and Pierre had always been protective over Y/N, trying to keep her out of danger in any way they could. It was sweet, really, and their intentions had always been good. Besides, sometimes it was helpful; their meddling had saved her from dating a guy who was only with her for a chance at fame and to meet two Formula 1 drivers, and another boy who showed some very red flags she was blissfully oblivious to. But over the past months, Charles, who had always been worse than Pierre in this matter, started going overboard, especially when Y/N had a date.
It started off innocent enough; Charles would ask her to share her location whenever she went out with a guy, a sweet sentiment, really. After a text asking for help and, consequently, an interference from Charles, he seemed to decide it’d be better if he stuck close. And soon, Charles was always present at her dates. In the beginning, he would just hang around the location and watch the interactions from a distance. Then, watching turned into introducing himself because he “wanted to make sure if the guy’s any good”, which turned into full-on conversations and joining her dates. Frankly, it was ridiculous. He’d just grab a chair from a nearby table and join the conversation, ‘subtly’ mentioning how he’d been friends with Y/N for years, and how he’d always be her number one – “right?” 
To no one’s surprise, there wouldn’t be a second date, the poor guy would be scared shitless as Charles talked about the power he wielded in Monaco and online, not to mention, all the contacts he had. Somehow, he always knew someone from the company her dates’ worked at. More often than not, their boss, and he didn’t hesitate to mention it.
Y/N had tried to stop him, she truly had. Whenever he’d interrupted another one of her dates, and Charles would drive her home because there was no need to take a taxi when he was already there, as Charles put it, she’d ask him why he’d intimidated another one of her dates. He’d just tell her that they weren’t good enough for her, and at the glare she’d send him, he’d apologise. Y/N would know she should have pushed further than that, because the situation kept recurring, but the sad look on his face when she’d tell him off, and the puppy eyes he’d give her when he parked outside her apartment building would make her reconsider. Charles was her best friend after all, and she didn’t want to hurt him. The situation was predictable and repetitive, and she kept letting herself get fooled.
At the lack of effect her talks had, she was determined to try a different approach. That’s when Y/N decided not to tell Charles about her dates any longer. What he didn’t know wouldn’t harm him, and she could go on dates without interruptions. That didn’t mean Pierre didn’t know about them, though. With the physical distance between them and Pierre, he could keep a secret and she needed someone to talk to about her dates. And Charles’ idea of sending her location was something she wanted to keep going, just in case.
That was the plan for tonight, too. She was going on a date, and with Charles unaware and hopefully distracted by his dinner with the visiting Pierre and Kika, she’d hopefully have a normal, relaxed first date without any unusual situations. The plan had worked well enough last time, but then again, Pierre wasn’t anywhere near Charles then and God knows he couldn’t keep his mouth shut if his life depended on it.
Y/N drove home quickly from Charles’ place, hopping in the shower before she got ready for her date. She’d met the man at her regular cafe while she was grabbing her morning drink, it was a real meet cute: she’d bumped into him and spilt her tea over his white shirt. He was kind about the mishap, cute, and, most importantly, willing to take her out. 
Y/N looked at her reflection in the mirror as she put on her necklace, making sure that everything was in place before she grabbed her phone. She texted Pierre her live location and asked him one last time what restaurant he was at, just to check that she was going someplace else.
The boys were already at dinner with Kika when she sent her message. His phone buzzed in his pocket and he quickly took it out to read her message. He smiled at the text. As opposed to what Charles had just told him, that Y/N wasn’t feeling well and needed a night alone, she apparently needed to make sure her date was someplace else than where they were. It was a smart move, and he knew that she’d managed before, but to lie so blatantly to Charles, especially when Pierre had to spend the rest of the night maintaining that lie, was bold. Pierre subtly showed the message to Kika, who stifled a laugh.
You didn’t tell Charles you’re on a date? He typed back before placing his phone on the table.
Y/N’s reply was blunt: Cha doesn’t need to know.
The buzz of his phone caught Pierre’s attention, and Charles’ as well. The phone screen lit up, displaying the new message. A frown formed on Charles’ face as he read it, quickly snatching the phone from the table to make sure he read it correctly.
“What don’t I need to know?” He said, keeping the phone out of Pierre’s reach while he scrambled to get it back. What weren’t his friends telling him?
Pierre’s nerves shot up at the question and he looked at Kika for help. She jumped in without hesitation, always willing to help out her friend. “Well, Charles, she didn’t want you to know, we didn’t want you to know, that Y/N’s at home right now, working on—”
The phone pinged again, and Charles’ eyes shot from Kika’s face to phone in a split second, flitting over the new message.
You know how he gets about my dates…
Charles’ jaw tightened. “She’s on a date?” He asked lowly, “Why can’t I know she’s on a date?”
Pierre cleared his throat nervously. “Well, you do have a history of… scaring off her dates,” Pierre trails off, nervously glancing at Kika for help.
Kika nodded in agreement. She completely supported Y/N in this decision. If it’d been her, she would’ve given Charles a good telling-off months ago, but Y/N was too sweet for that. It was good that he knew the truth now; maybe he’d realise a change was needed.
“Do you know where she is? What restaurant? Or are they somewhere else?”
“Charles—”
“I know you know. Tell me.”
Pierre sighed. “Let’s just finish dinner first, and then we’ll go together, okay? Just to check the guy out from a distance,” he emphasised, hoping that was clear enough. Pierre knew Y/N wouldn’t like it, but it’d be better if he stayed with Charles. He could prevent him from doing something stupid.
Charles grumbled in agreement, quickly finishing his meal, and immediately refusing dessert when the waiter asked, before slamming some cash on the table and leaving the restaurant.
– – – – –
The two boys trailed outside the restaurant, peering inside through the window while Kika sat in the car – she refused to engage in such childish behaviours. Charles had spotted Y/N in no time. The perfectly fitted dress she was wearing, with the matching jewellery Charles had bought her a few months ago, and her hair up into a pretty updo would catch anybody’s eye. She was giggling at something the guy had said, reaching for his hand that lay still on the table until she touched it. Charles clenched his jaw so hard he feared he’d break a tooth. What was that man thinking – touching his best friend like that? Making her laugh? 
Charles scoffed before standing upright and marching right into the restaurant. He walked straight past the hostess' stand and past her table before he backed up.
“What—Y/N? What are you doing here?” He spluttered, feigning surprise at her presence. She looked up from her menu at the familiar voice, her jaw slack in surprise. How had he found out? Why hadn’t Pierre stopped him? 
He walked closer to the table. “How are you? Thought you were staying in tonight?”
“Charles,” Y/N greeted with fake enthusiasm. “I wasn’t expecting to see you here.”
“Ah yes, we changed restaurants. Who is this?” He nodded to the man across from her.
“Oh, this is Tom. Tom, this is Charles. He’s a good friend of mine,” Y/N said reluctantly.
“You could say best friend. We’ve known each other for all our lives, I can’t remember a time when Y/N wasn’t there,” Charles said as he shook Tom’s hand, forcing a fake laugh out before he grabbed a chair from an empty table and sat down.
“So, how did you guys meet? I’ve never heard of you before, Tim,” Charles continued, grabbing a piece of bread from the basket on the table.
The man across from him eyed Y/N carefully. She was smiling forcefully, scratching her head as she sighed, but made no effort to get rid of Charles, so Tom smiled awkwardly at the new presence. “We met at a cafe. Also, it’s Tom.”
Charles chewed on his bread as he nodded excessively. “Hm, a cafe? Do you prefer coffee or tea?” He said before flagging a waiter down and asking for a drink.
“Charles—” Y/N tried to interrupt him, to tell him to leave, to not frighten her date, to not make himself so comfortable while he was so rudely imposing on her date. How had he even found out in the first place? 
“You know, coffee’s really not good for your health. Caffeine and such – can be addicting, give you headaches if you suddenly stop drinking it… Do you get headaches, Tim?”
“Uh—” Tom mumbled nervously while Y/N hid her face in her hands.
Charles opened his mouth to continue when Pierre slapped his hands on Charles’ shoulders. “We should go, Charles,” he told him, pushing him forward off the chair.
“I’m sure we can stay for a bit longer, right Y/N? Get to know your boyfriend for a bit?” Charles said genuinely hoping Y/N would want him to stay. Instead, she shook her head.
“Let’s go, Charles,” Pierre said forcefully, pushing his friend out of the restaurant. Charles could just barely hear the faint sounds of Y/N apologising to her date as Pierre walked him out. The apologetic tone in her voice as she told him how incredibly sorry she was her friends had interrupted – that they weren’t usually like that, that they’re just protective – almost made him feel bad, except she shouldn’t be dating random guys.
He knew it bothered her, the way he always interrupted her dates, but he just couldn’t seem to let it go. She’s his best friend, he just wanted her to be safe, to make sure the guys were good enough. And frankly, Y/N had never picked out a good guy; Charles could treat her better than every single one of them. If she’d paid attention, she’d know that too. She’d have noticed that he’d buy anything she wanted for her: clothes, jewellery (although it wasn’t intended to be worn on dates with strangers), food and drinks. He’d spend all his money on her if she’d allow it, but she didn’t. The fact that she liked him because of him and not his money, only made him want to do it more. But even besides materialistic things, he always made time for her, no matter how busy he was. He would cook for her every night if it weren’t a risk to their health, and organise movie nights, or other activities. Regardless, she never seemed to notice his attraction to her.
“What happened to watching from a distance, huh mate?” Pierre teased before getting in the car and driving the man home.
– – – – –
To say Y/N was upset would be an understatement. The incident at the date frustrated her immensely. She had told Charles, many times, that he shouldn’t interrupt her dates, yet for some reason he kept doing it – apparently, she had been too subtle. Tom was a good guy too; he was kind and respectful and seemed caring enough, and, now, because Charles had interrupted their date, he had refused a second date. He had scared off yet another one of her prospective boyfriends. The situation needed to come to an end, and apparently, not telling Charles about her dates and correcting him wasn’t good enough.
It was a few (dateless) weeks later when she had finally thought of a plan to put an end to Charles’ antics. She was staying over at her cousin’s for a few days after some heavy rainfall and water damage in her own apartment – the perfect opportunity. It had taken barely any convincing to get him to participate; as soon as she told him about the recurring issue he agreed she needed to take action.
Y/N knew Charles and Pierre were hanging out together; she’d seen the paparazzi pictures on social media, and knew that if she’d send Pierre something about being at someone else’s place, Charles would find out about it soon enough. After all, that was what happened last time as well, even though it took some time to get Pierre to admit it was his fault Charles found out about her date. So, in agreement with her cousin, she took a picture.
They were sitting on the couch, watching TV, when she posed against him, her head lying on her cousin’s chest as she smiled for the photo. His chin was just barely visible in the picture, as was his arm lying along her shoulders. Without a second thought, she sent it to Pierre, hoping her idea would work out exactly as she’d planned.
She saw Charles' status switch to online just a few seconds later. Y/N held her breath as she watched the small dots bounce at the bottom of her phone screen. Charles was typing, then stopping, then typing again, like he couldn’t decide how to start. It almost made her laugh – he was so wound up, like he thought she’d actually gone home with a stranger tonight. All she had to do now, was wait.
Finally, his message came through. Where are you?
She bit her lip to stifle her giggle. She waited a few minutes, just to let him sit in his worry, before sending back a message. She’s busy.
Charles scoffed at the text, showing it to Pierre. “What’s this? She’s busy?” He mumbled angrily while Pierre chuckled silently. Whereas Charles was too wrapped up in his worry and frustration to recognise the prank, Pierre knew immediately what was happening.
He responded. Who are you? Where’s Y/N?
He chewed on his lip as he anxiously awaited her answer. It took way too long before the message was read, and even longer before the typing bubble appeared.
Doesn’t matter. She’s busy.
Charles scoffed again. Who was this infuriating man and what was he thinking, just answering Y/N’s phone like that?
Busy with who?
She’s in good hands. Don’t worry, man.
Y/N giggled at her message while Charles gnawed at his lip. This was not good. Y/N was at some stranger’s house, nobody knew where, and the guy was in charge of her phone. This was bad, real bad. He needed to find her, to make sure she was safe.
Give her back her phone. I need to talk to her.
She’s busy.
Charles groaned in annoyance before calling her. The phone rang a few times but no one picked up.
Where’s she? I’m coming over.
Y/N giggled at her phone when she saw the text. This was too funny, and a face-to-face confrontation would make it even better. She sent him her cousin’s address, curious to see if he’d actually come over.
Not five minutes passed before a loud, rapid knock sounded at the door. Y/N’s cousin shook his head in disbelief. “You weren’t kidding. This guy is intense,” he said before opening the door.
Charles towered over the shorter man in the door opening. “Where’s Y/N?” He asked, his voice dark and aggressive as he pushed his way past him. His eyes flicked around the room until they landed on her, sprawled out on the couch, snuggled up under a blanket and watching TV, seemingly completely unbothered.
“Hey, Cha. What are you doing here?” She asked, trying to keep up the innocent act.
“What are you doing, Y/N? Why are you at some random guy’s house? You know that’s not safe!”
She rolled her eyes and sighed loudly.
“Don’t roll your eyes at me! This could’ve gone incredibly wrong, that guy could’ve murdered you and no one would have known where you were!”
God, he was so infuriating. Always bothering her on her dates, and now he’s yelling at her over a prank while she’s in her cousin’s house, it’s ridiculous, frankly.
“Don’t shout at me, Charles! Are you crazy?” She huffed. “You’re coming over here in a frenzy for nothing. It’s just a prank, I wanted to see how far you’d go. This is my cousin.” She pointed to the boy still standing by the door opening, who was very amused at the situation. 
Charles froze, the tension in his jaw loosening as confusion replaced his anger. His gaze darted between Y/N and her cousin, piecing together what she’d just said. “Your cousin?” he repeated, as though the words didn’t compute.
“Yes, Charles. My cousin. You know, family? Not some random murderer or creepy guy. You’ve met him before actually, at my birthday last year!” Y/N replied, her tone sharp as she threw off the blanket and stood up.
Charles’s face turned a deep shade of red, and he avoided her gaze, scratching the back of his neck awkwardly. “Well, how was I supposed to know? The photo—you didn’t say anything—”
“Exactly! That was the point!” Y/N interrupted, throwing her hands in the air. “Charles, do you even hear yourself? Do you realise how insane this is? I can’t even go on a normal date without you barging in and acting like you’re my overprotective father!”
He flinched at her words but didn’t respond immediately. Her cousin took this as his cue to leave.
“Y/N, I was just looking out for you,” Charles finally mumbled, his voice quieter now. “You don’t understand—these guys you meet—”
“No, Charles, you don’t understand!” She shot back, cutting him off again. “I don’t need you to protect me like this. I’m not a child, and you’re not my bodyguard. You’ve been ruining my dates for months, and I’ve had enough.”
Charles’s fists clenched at his sides as he struggled to find the words. “I’m just trying to look after you! You deserve better than these guys, Y/N!”
“Why do you even care so much?” She demanded, her voice rising. “What’s it to you if I date someone? Why do you act like you’ve got some kind of say in my love life?”
Charles’s lips parted as if to respond, but nothing came out. His mind raced, but the words he needed wouldn’t form. How could he explain it? How could he tell her the truth – that he cared because he couldn’t bear the thought of her being with someone else? That he’d been selfish, sabotaging her dates because the idea of her falling for someone else drove him mad? 
“Well?” Y/N pressed, stepping closer.
“I—I just…” He looked at her, the frustration and vulnerability clear in his eyes. “Because I’m in love with you, okay?”
Y/N blinked in silence, her anger evaporating as shock took its place. “What?” She whispered.
Charles sighed, running a hand through his hair. “I’m in love with you,” he repeated, softer this time. “I’ve been in love with you for years, Y/N. And seeing you with other guys—it’s torture. I know I’ve gone too far, but I just… I didn’t know how to tell you.”
Y/N stared at him, her heart pounding in her chest. Of all the things she’d expected, this wasn’t one of them. Her breath caught as she processed his words. All the pieces suddenly clicked into place; the protectiveness, the jealousy, the way he always went out of his way to make her happy. It had been in front of her the whole time, and she hadn’t seen it. “Charles, I—”
“I’m sorry,” he cut her off, his voice full of regret. “I know I’ve been an idiot, and if you don’t feel the same, I’ll back off. I just… I’m sorry.”
“Charles,” she said softly, stepping closer to him. He looked up, searching her eyes for any indication of what she would say, of how she felt. “I wish you’d just told me sooner. Maybe then we could’ve avoided all this.”
His brows furrowed.
She smiled at his confused expression. “I mean, I like you too, I love you too. I just didn’t know if you felt the same.”
His breath hitched, and for a moment, he just stared at her, as if he couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “You… you have?”
“Yes, you idiot,” she said, laughing softly. “Why do you think I’ve put up with all your nonsense?
Charles let out a breathless laugh, his shoulders sagging in relief. “I can’t believe it,” he murmured, shaking his head before running a hand over his face in frustration. “I’ve spent all this time… and I could’ve just…” he mumbled as he stared at her, trailing off in thought. kissed her, I could’ve just kissed her, he finished in his mind.
“I could’ve just…” he mumbled again, staring intently as he moved to hold her face, pulling it just a little closer. He looked into her eyes, gauging her reaction as his lips neared hers, as he could feel her short breaths on his face. She didn’t protest, didn’t show any intent to move, if anything, she came closer, brushing her lips softly against Charles’ while her eyelids fluttered closed. 
Charles couldn’t hold back any longer, pressing his lips to hers softly, hesitantly until he felt her hands slip up his chest. He could feel her fingertips pressing into his muscle as she pulled him closer, the hairs on the back of his neck standing up as her fingers faintly passed the skin until they reached his hair.
It felt surreal, this was what he’d been wanting for months. He was absorbed in the moment, not noticing anything but the feeling of her, the scent of her, and the joy she gave him. In that moment it all centred around her – he realised his whole world revolved around her.
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froggiewrites · 4 months ago
Text
Midnight Guest
Pairing: Vampire!Law x Reader
NSFW
Summary: Your roommate is strange, you’ve always known that. Most of his habits seem like harmless eccentricities. His insistence that you lock your door when you sleep, due to his “sleepwalking,” confuses you more than anything. But when you forget one night and awaken to him standing over your bed, teeth bared, you start to think maybe there’s more to Law than meets the eye. Warnings: AFAB!Reader (no pronouns or gendered language used), Smut, Vampirism, Biting, Blood Drinking, Possessive/Obsessive Behavior, Vaginal Sex Word Count: 3.2k Halloween Special 2024
Your roommate was a strange man.
You had always known that, of course, from the moment you stepped foot into the house. It was old, built to be so beautiful and grand you could have confused it for a temple, a place of worship. And the rent he offered was far too good to be true. You couldn’t afford a studio for what he asked you to pay, let alone half of a gothic mansion to be shared with a mysterious and handsome man. There had to be something wrong with him, some reason he would give this offer to you of all people. He insisted it was just too big of a house to live in on his own, too lonely for one person. 
“I just…hate being alone,” he had admitted.
You didn’t believe that, not from someone as quiet as him.
You were extra sure he was strange when you had your first real conversation. He remained flat and reserved until you mentioned you had seen his comic collection, which made him light up like a Christmas tree. He told you about Sora, Warrior of the Sea for two hours after that, with a boyish enthusiasm you had never expected from a perpetually exhausted man covered in tattoos. It was cute, though he didn’t appreciate it when you pointed that out, cheeks growing pink and lips growing into what he would insist was not a pout. Yes, you had always known Law was strange, but in a fun way, the kind that brings more fond smiles than exasperation.
But some of his habits were starting to make you think he wasn’t quite as harmless as you had convinced yourself.
The first time you awoke with him standing over you, eyes flashing in the dark, you screamed. He had the nerve to jump back as well, as though you had scared him. Sleep walking, he had called it. You don’t know many people who sleepwalk with their eyes open and their teeth baring down on you. But he was so apologetic, you couldn’t help but let it slide.
“I’ve just been so tired from work lately,” he had admitted quietly, cheeks pink and voice tight with embarrassment. “That hasn’t happened since I was a kid. I’m sorry. I…don’t really know how to stop it, but I’ll try. Maybe I need to get more sleep.”
“I think you should,” you had agreed, dripping with good natured concern. “I don’t mean to be rude, but you look like you haven’t slept in years. I’ve been worried about you, honestly.”
He chuckled. “I appreciate it. Maybe I do need a bit more rest. But…maybe you should sleep with your door locked. Just in case I sleepwalk again. I wouldn’t want to give you such a rude awakening twice.” He had said something else, but frankly you were a little too focused on his hands flexing nervously, showing off his long, tattooed fingers, to catch whatever it was.
And since you had taken his advice, you hadn’t woken up to any more men lurking over your bed. You had, however, woken up to the jiggling of your door handle more than once. One time, you had even heard a knock echoing through the room, though he didn’t answer when you called out to ask him what he wanted.
You also couldn’t help but notice how empty the fridge and pantry were, or how little you saw him eat. He had a small snack here or there, but he seemed to subsist mostly on coffee and whatever he keeps in those tumblers he always has nearby. You had asked once, but he brushed it off, changing the subject not-so-subtly. You assumed they were protein shakes, or some other supplement he used to avoid having to sit down and enjoy a real meal. A lot of Law’s life seemed like he was actively trying to avoid living it. He had his hobbies and friends, of course, but any of the mundane pleasures of life, like eating, sleeping, or even human interaction outside of his chosen few people he avoided like the plague. He focused on his work, and anything else was either carefully penciled in or discarded entirely.
Every conversation you had about it was unproductive. He insisted he was fine, that this was just how he was, but there was always a tension around him, one you can’t help but think would disappear if he would only allow himself to live for once. But you can’t say that to him. How can you ask a man if he even enjoys being alive?
But tonight was the night you would learn your concerns were all for nothing, due only to a lack of information, and nothing more.
You try another conversation about your concerns when he wanders into the kitchen while you’re cleaning up. You know it won’t lead anywhere, but you have to try. “Do you think you’ve been sleeping better, Law?”
He hums noncommittally.
“...Have you actually been trying?”
“I’ve…had a lot to deal with.”
You frown, turning around to face him. “Has work not let up at all? You’ve been running yourself ragged for months.”
He avoids your eyes. “It’ll pass soon.”
“That’s what you said two months ago.” You reach across the counter for his hand, fingers brushing lightly against his, and he frantically pulls his hand back as though he’s been burned. You try not to show your hurt on your face, but from the guilt on his, you know you’ve failed. “I’m…I’m just worried about you. I feel like things have only gotten worse for you since I moved in. Maybe I should just–”
He jumps at that, quick to correct, to move you away from that train of thought as fast as he can. “No, no, that’s not true. And you shouldn’t do anything different. Having you around has been…this is the most alive the house has felt in years. I’m just tired, really.”
“You’re still sleepwalking.”
He tenses. “Am I?” Something about his tone is strange. He doesn’t seem like he’s surprised, or at least not surprised that he is. More surprised that you know.
“Yeah. You really didn’t start doing that until I moved in?”
“Well, no one would be able to tell me if I had.” He still isn’t looking at you.
You sigh. Even knowing how unproductive these talks are, it’s always a disappointment to learn he won’t open up to you. You honestly can’t figure out why he keeps you around. Your presence clearly stresses him out, even if he won’t admit it. “Just…try to get some rest, please. And eat a real meal for once. You’re a doctor, you should know how to take care of yourself.”
He finally looks at you again, self deprecation radiating from his tight smile. “Right. I’ll try.”
He won’t.
But you can. After you finish wiping down the counters, you get ready for a long night of sleep. No point in staying up worrying over things you can’t control. A long, warm shower and comfy pajamas are sure to fix your problems.
And they do, really, for the few hours you remain asleep.
But then you hear the door open.
No jiggling handle, no knocking, nothing. Just the quiet creak of the hinges, and footsteps approaching. You’ve barely opened your eyes before you can feel the bed start to shift, and you look up to see the same sight you did months ago: Law, eyes feral and needy, his mouth open, teeth looking particularly long and sharp in the moonlight. Before you can open your mouth, you can feel his body against yours, every inch of him stiff, his hands clutching your shoulders, his teeth growing closer and closer to your neck.
“Law?”
His eyes are still hazy, his mouth still approaching.
“Law!” You try to push his arms away, but you find you’re not strong enough to make him budge for even a moment. But the fear in your voice when you realize you’re about to feel his teeth against you makes him stop midair, his eyes focusing a little.
“Huh?” He looks down at you in his arms, staring up at him with wide, frightened eyes, and he throws himself back with a speed and strength you didn’t know he had. You can hear him slam against the wall behind him, knocking all of your wall decorations askew and making the wall make a concerning creak. He stares at you, arms out, as though something is pinning him down, and he looks absolutely beautiful bathed in the moonlight that sneaks through your curtains. His eyes are hungry, and you can see his canines peeking out from his lips, almost looking like fangs. He’s naked except for a pair of gray sweatpants, hair mussed and tattoos on full display.
“Law?” He stares at you, still torn between hunger and fear. As you shift to sit up, you can see his eyes flicker between your neck and your breasts, your pajamas giving him a clear view of your cleavage. Normally you would be embarrassed, but the tension in the air makes you forget your vulnerability for a moment. “Are you alright?”
“You forgot to lock your door,” he murmurs, voice thick and deep. He hasn’t looked away from you for even a moment, and he hasn’t moved an inch.
“You were going to bite me.”
He licks his lips, something he often does around you. You had always thought it was a nervous habit, but combined with the look in his eyes, you’re starting to suspect perhaps there’s another reason. “I told you to keep your door locked.” It sounds like speaking takes effort, and you notice his hands trembling slightly.
“Why were you going to bite me?”
“I need to leave,” he says, not moving, staring intently at your exposed skin. He’s breathing heavily. His canines seem to have grown even longer. “Or maybe you should leave.”
“You’re…you haven’t been sleepwalking at all. You’ve been trying to get in every night. To bite me. With your teeth.”
“I…have.”
“Are you…” You can’t bring yourself to say the word, even with all of the evidence in front of you. It feels unreal, so ridiculous you feel as though you’re watching someone else live through it all.
“Yes.”
“And you’re hungry?”
His chest is heaving with the effort of holding himself back. “Very.”
“And you asked me to live with you anyway?”
He forces his eyes closed, pushing his head back against the wall. “It wasn’t very smart of me. I…I knew I couldn’t let you leave the moment you walked through that door. I needed you to stay. You don’t know what it’s like. …I thought I would have more self control than this, really.” He sounds like he’s trying to convince himself more than you.
“Why couldn’t you let me leave?” You hate that your voice has a tinge of hope in it, like you aren’t in terrible danger, like your silly little crush on your roommate is more important than the very real threat he poses.
“You’re…you. And god, I need you.” He huffs out another breath. “You need to leave, really. Before I lose control.”
That should not have sent a shiver of excitement up your spine. “What if I didn’t?”
“Then I’d bite you.”
“And what if I wanted that?”
His eyes shoot open, and before you know it you’re pinned to the bed, a starving animal holding you down, every muscle in his body taut. “You…you shouldn’t…” He struggles to even get the words out, to keep up his good guy act when you can see the hunger in his eyes.
You lean up, exposing your neck fully, and just smile.
You’re pierced in a second.
The sensation is colder than you expected, and for a moment it really and truly feels like you’re going to die. Like you’ve made some horrible mistake for a pretty face and you’re going to pay the price for it. But before long, the ice in your veins fades away, leaving behind a pleasant warmth. It almost feels like you’re drunk, as your eyelids droop and an easy smile comes to your face.
You can feel every inch of Law pressed into you, from his warm tongue against your neck to his solid chest against yours and, most importantly, his hard and aching cock rutting against your thigh as he drinks. He hardly takes any time away from your neck, but whenever he does he’s panting, practically moaning against you. One of his hands goes to your chest, palming clumsily at your breasts, which easily spill out of your flimsy top. He looks down to see them, and groans from deep within his chest. “God, look at you.”
You try to respond, but in an instant he’s against your neck again, suckling, while his hand finds your nipple and pinches it between his fingers. You moan, far louder than you would ever admit, and your hips rut up into his. You can feel a wetness soaking easily through your pajama shorts, which he finds as well as he rubs against you, forcing the fabric between your folds and rubbing it against your clit. Your nails find his hair, gripping for dear life, and you hear him moan again. You can’t see them, but you can practically feel his eyes rolling into the back of his head. You try to speak again, to tell him to please fuck you, to complete the pleasure of the moment, but the only thing that leaves your lips is a pathetic cry of, “Law!”
He pulls himself back from your neck, lips dripping with your blood, staring at you ravenously. You fear he might swallow you whole. You fear you might enjoy that. His hand comes up, fingers gathering the blood dripping from his lips and chin. He maintains eye contact as he slowly and deliberately licks his fingers clean, refusing to waste even a drop of you. You clench your thighs together, which once again rubs the fabric against your clit just right, making you moan softly. His pupils blow out even further at the sound, his eyes nothing but inky blackness and desire.
You aren’t sure if it’s the warmth in your veins or your desire for Law that leaves you so pliable, so vulnerable underneath him. Either way, you find your thighs falling apart and your arms wrapping around him, begging him to take you. You whisper to him, “Please, Law, please. Finish what you’ve started. Have me.”
He leans down to clean the rest of the blood off of your neck with his tongue. “I want you,” he groans. “I have since the moment I saw you. God, you’re so delicious.” You feel his teeth graze against you again, desperate for a second taste. “You taste even better than I imagined, better than I dreamed.”
“You dreamed about me?”
“Every goddamn night. You’ve been haunting me.” He nips at your neck gently. “I couldn’t let you leave, no matter how much better it would be for you. I’m sick.”
You thrust your hips against his again, making his eyelids flutter and a soft choked noise escape his throat. “I’ve wanted you just as long.”
“I’ve never lost control over myself like this. You’ve done something to me.” He says it almost like an accusation.
You wrap your thighs around his waist in response, forcing your hips together again. “You’ve done something to me, too. I’d like you to finish it, if you don’t mind.”
He growls against your skin, something feral finally unleashing from him, and in one smooth motion he’s ripped off your pajama pants and underwear, leaving you bare and dripping for him. He thrusts into you in one smooth motion, making you nearly scream as your eyes roll back from the sensation. His pace is frantic, like if he stops for even a moment you’ll change your mind, or he’ll come to his senses, and it will all be over.
“Need you,” he mutters. “Need you to stay. Say you’ll stay.” There’s some deeper thread of desperation here, his voice pleading, nearly afraid. Like after all of this you’ll see him for what he is and leave him all alone in this house again, to be forgotten by time and left to rot.
“I’ll stay,” you moan. “I won’t leave you, Law.”
His hand finds your clit, a reward for giving him what he needed. His hands are as skilled as you had always hoped they would be, callused and moving exactly how you want them to. He makes you clench around him, ready to come undone so quickly under his attention. “You’re so alive,” he whispers. “So beautiful. And mine.”
“Yours, yes, yours!”
“Forever,” he insists.
“Forever!”
With your promise, his thrusts quicken, growing sloppy as he loses what little control he had left. His fingers and hips work frantically, bringing you to the edge easily, causing you to tighten around him as your vision goes white. At the same time, his teeth come down on your neck again, and he spills inside of you, filling you to the brim as he freely takes what he wants.
You’re panting, your heart pounding out of your chest, your blood flowing freely into Law’s waiting lips. Once he’s had his fill, he licks you clean again, before raising his head to look you in the eyes. “Forever?” He asks again.
“Forever,” you confirm.
He smiles. You watch as he bites his bottom lip, his fangs easily piercing the soft flesh, and he kisses you deeply and desperately. The taste of iron fills your mouth, at first repulsive but quickly growing into something sweet and irresistible. You lean further into him, sucking on his lip, taking whatever you can get, only stopping when he pulls back, pinning you down so you can’t chase his lips.
“Forever,” he whispers, tone filled with wonder. He kisses you again, tenderly, almost worshiping. “And you won’t have to spend a moment of it alone.”
You’re starting to grow unbearably hot, but even as you squirm, Law doesn’t allow you to move. He holds you there, under him, cock still inside of you. “Law, it’s hot. I need–”
“I know. It’ll pass.” He grins, teeth flashing dangerously in the light.
“What?” The haziness from blood loss and whatever endorphins came from a vampire’s bite start to wear off, and you start to tense. “What’ll pass?”
He doesn’t give you a straight answer. “It won’t hurt much, I promise.”
“Law, what did you do?”
He smiles, nuzzling you affectionately. “I’ll teach you everything you need to know. You won’t have to try to figure it all out alone. It’ll be the two of us, figuring it all out together. And we’ll have forever to do it.” He kisses you again as the heat overtakes you, turning swiftly from discomfort to pain.
But you’ll be alright, of course. Law is right there to walk you through it.
And he will be forever.
Tag List: @pandora-writes-one-piece @shy-writer-999 @saturogojosgirl
509 notes · View notes
classiccowboy · 2 months ago
Text
instagram j.b.
summary: follow along with joe and his wife evie as they go through his football career.
*face claim yasmin quintana*
series masterlist
evie
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liked by joeyb_9, millyg, and 982,028 others
evie: things i do, fits i wear, pics i take. oh.. and a little bday cake.
view all 1,839 comments…
user: not the body armor bottle.. 😳
> evie: i do not know that man.
user: happy birthday ev! you are such a bright light.
> evie: 😭💗
millyg: happy birthday my sweet baby angel evangeline. 🤍
> evie: ugh. i miss you mills.
joeyb_9: gotta stay hydrated
> evie: there is only one thing that will quench my thirst.. and it ain’t the drink. 😉
> lahjay10_: not again. get off the internet.
> user: not it being ev getting spicy in the comments this time.
> user: she’s been waiting for this moment.
joeyb_9
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liked by lahjay10_, bengals, and 104,837 others
joeyb_9: hbd ev, i love every year of you.
view all 930 comments…
user: happy birthday qween
> evie: omg ur the qween! thank you. 💗
user: an evie post? absolutely not. get rid of it.
> evie: i knew the haters were going to love this one.
lahjay10_: happy birthday ev, lemme see you hit that griddy later yeah?
> evie: you sure you want me stealing your thunder like that?
evie: i love you, you big sap. thank you for celebrating me. 💗
> joeyb_9: you know i celebrate your life everyday, my wifey.
user: happy birthday, this city and joe wouldn’t be the same without you.
> evie: 🥺
user: joe whyyyy did you have to ruin the feed like this?
> lahjay10_: yall need to LAY OFF man.
sam_hubbard_: happy birthday ev! looking forward to celebrating you tonight.
> evie: *virtual hugs*
bengals: happy birthday mrs. burrow, the queen of the jungle!
> evie: i love my bengies so much.
evie
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liked by joeyb_9, bengals, and 973,927 others.
evie: # WAG
view all 820 comments…
user: one of the best
> evie: kisses kisses
joeyb_9: the fit was killer today wifey
> evie: thanks hottie. 😘
user: the only WAG i follow. you’re my favorite.
> evie: you guys make my heart feel so full, im sending you love!!
user: how does one become joey b’s bed buddy?
> evie: hmmmm. i wouldn’t know considering i’m his WIFE. get a life and quit being a loser.
> user: i’m a loser? your man BARELY posts you, he doesn’t love you sis.
> evie: if all you have to worry about is wether someone is posting a picture of me on social media then yes, you are in fact a big ass loser.
> user: bro ev you do not play in these comments.
> evie: it gets to a point where the disrespect shouldn’t have to be tolerated. i’ve been in my relationship for over 8 years, and frankly joe or i don’t owe anyone an explanation about how we choose to navigate that publicly.
> lahjay10_: yo you tell em ev. you a little fighter i know you can scrap with all these haters.
> user: what’s even worse is i doubt joe will even acknowledge any of this
> user: he won’t because he’s just using her as a placeholder till something more interesting comes along. he doesn’t care.
> user: yall about to make this girl turn her comments off again.
> millyg: not too much on my girl???? what is happening right now? have you guys forgotten that like.. you don’t know this man?
joeyb_9
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liked by bengals, sam_hubbard_, and 347,185 others
joeyb_9: hard fought
view all 1,839 comments…
user: he’s him
user: evie didn’t go to the game today. very unusual.
> user: well you lames were ripping her apart in her comments i wouldn’t want to go either.
user: a running qb
bengals: That guy! 🔥
user: chefs kiss
user: where is ev?
> user: probably in hiding
> user: she was all big talk in the comments and now she’s going to play scared?
> user: she was there, she posted on her story.
> user: you guys really don’t care about mental health do you?
*the comments on this post have been limited*
evie
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liked by joeyb_9, millyg, and 921,002 others
evie: hopeless romantics. my jb.
view all 1,630 comments…
user: now she’s just rubbing it in.
> user: it actually makes me sick that they are married and she spoke to his fans the way she did. i hope he leaves her in the dust.
> joeyb_9: those were no fans of mine.
user: this is gross, after everything going on. you’re being petty and childish. posting pictures of your phony relationship.
user: i don’t think joe appreciates yall treating someone he loves like gum on the bottom of your shoe.
joeyb_9: everything is better with you. i would choose you over and over again, every chance i get. you’ll never be a placeholder to me. you’re my favorite place to go and i’d fight the universe if i had to. it’s not fair you have to deal with this because of me.
> evie: thank you for loving me..
millyg: this is so precious i kind of want to throw up.
> lahjay10_: i’m witchu mills.
evies stories:
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should i continue making these or are yall bored now?
303 notes · View notes
widebrimmedhatsblog · 26 days ago
Text
ONYX STORM ⚡️⚡️⚡️
My thoughts below the cut! Spoilers galore. This is all from my first read through, so we’ll see what changes by the time I finish my second read. I’m still pretty jumbled up about the book (I am physically incapable of opening up goodreads and giving it a rating) and, frankly, I think my notes are going to reflect this! Also, this is thoughts for the WHOLE BOOK, so please don’t open the full post if you’re not done with the WHOLE BOOK.
I’m pasting my notes directly from the doc I took them on while reading , and adding extra post-read commentary when I feel the urge! Also this is your warning that I swear quite a bit in these! For they are candid.
ch1-10:
- i will say i thought the ch 2 epigraph was an inntinnsic clue but now im not so sure bc it’s not that rare it’s just that they kill everyone who has it ??? (commentary from future helena: this is about lilith…right?)
- tell me something, violence. why is it always you? 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫
- what IS a soul. how can you take a soul apart piecemeal. why do you think he gave up part of his soul. who told you that. (CFFH: i stand by this. none of this makes any sense to me.)
- hmmmm no red post fingering! curious…very curious (CFFH: i still don’t know about this one dawg)
- the kiss beneath her ear after he helps her get dressed somebody sedate me
- god DOES garrick like imogen because mans does NOT act like it poor im (CFFH: I seriously cannot stop wondering when the hell Rebecca decided to make immrick canon because i LIKE the ship, but on my fw and if re reads it does not read like Garrick likes her, and I would say that holds true till the very end of the damn book)
- VIOLETTTTTTTT I LOVE HER she’s so fucking back (CFFH: violets characterization was my favorite thing about this book. i was really scared about xaden leaving because frankly rebecca writes violet best with him, but she held her own so much better than she has in the other two books. i always love her, but she was incredible here.)
- the bits about vi being a good duchess i Knew that was him saying he wanted to marry her (CFFH: this is an example of what i like to call RY’s “gotcha ass foreshadowing”)
- also i have always characterized fen in my head as loving the movement more than xaden i know what’s up
- i’m soooo excited about him being the duke this is so embarassing im pumping my fists
- did NOT see the samara field trip coming what the fuck
- EVEN HUNDREDS OF MILES AWAY HES STILL TSKING CARE OF EMD EKDNRNRNRN (CFFH: yeah.)
- hey guys what the fuck was that dream? did RY see the cat/violet shippers and get ideas
- WHAT THE FUCK. i saw NONE of this coming
- GARRICKS A WIND WIELDER ???? (CFFH: obviously did not age super well…however garrick was acting so sus here and his dialogue felt so off that i genuinely thought he was the traitor for a fat minute)
11-20
- WHETS RNRJRNRNRNRNRNRJEKEKKRRN
- IS THIS THE MARKED ONES SECOND SIGNET TNEORY (CFFH: can you tell i was a big fan of the marked ones second signet theory. also what’s xadens third signet then? also i feel like if EVERYONE has 2 vi will have 3! i have a theory explaining it below somewhere)
- WLSO DID XADEN FHCKINF KNOW (CFFH: they actually handled this really well i was so nervous they’d have the fight again)
- dude im like short circuiting sick to my stomach HES SOOOOOOO BOYFRIEND ? (CFFH: what on EARTH was this about?)
- well the fuck aware!!!!!!!!!
- i can’t breathe
- i need my inhaler
- LIAM WIELDINF ICE (CFFH: again, can you tell i was a big fan of the marked ones second signet theory? fun fact, i actually wanted to write it into ITHOIA but then i realized a. how much work it would be to concoct that many signets and b. i’d have to give xaden THREE, and decided to pick my battles. however i did brainstorm what signets had xaden energy for giving him a third one and immmmmm immmm having ideasssssss)
- YOURS X
- why do i agree with JFBs venin logic man
- god halden is her traumatic ex relationship goddddd (CFFH: i edited out most of my complaining, but i was super against the halden idea (per my predictions). this might get me cancelled, but it did feel fan service-y? to me? which is fine! fans deserve to be serviced! there are moments of this book in which i am the fan being serviced! but when it become clear RY was going in the halden direction, i was super stressed about how she’d handle it, and im thrilled she made him toxic. THRILLED.)
- SECOND KROVLAN UPRISING
- knowing miss yarros and her gotcha ass foreshadowing ridoc is going on that quest lmdao
- PRFOEOEKEENDJEJEN PROFESSOR RIORSON PROFESSOR RIOROSN (CFFH: not only do i stand by this, but i actually wanted to write teacher roleplay for kinktober and i didn’t bc i didn’t think the fandom would take a liking to it, but CLEARLY rebecca didn’t have those concerns)
- i am going to commit crimes against humanity your relationship did not just END SJEJEJEJENR R (CFFH: i’ve noticed miss yarros has begun to really lean on chapter cliffhangers, and frankly, it pisses me off. i understand she needs to get her bag with kindle unlimited and all, but it makes for a stressful reading experience imo. however, this one got me. this one got me SO bad i had to take a walk to calm down. i have been looking forward to professor riorson for MONTHS and i was convinced it was crashing and burning before my eyes. maybe this is why i shouldn’t read past 1 am. i know rebecca has given interviews and has said she needs there to be constant tension in their relationship or else there’s no story, and while i know what she means, THIS tension felt so manufactured to me. i also think she could pull off a war story with them just like …together. i believe in her. the story needs tension, but it doesn’t need to be between them like this, imho.)
- we live by the codex/i live by you 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫I AM YOURS AND YOU ARE MINE AND THERE’S NO LAW OR RULE IN THIS WORLD OR THE NEXT THAT CAN CHANGE THAT
- you know what we might get shadow sex in this book. we might. (CFFH: we do! and i think we can get more with asim!xaden)
- fun fact about me it took till my THIRD RE READ to see that xaden controls the shadows with his hands.
- there’s been like 3 indirect marriage references if my fucking empire of storms prediction was correct im going to scream (CFFH: so i actually didn’t get to scream because i was too busy MOURNING the lack of a RIORGAIL WEDDING.)
- PAPA SORRENGAIL HAS NAME AND ITS ASHER ?????
- ridocs blow job joke was funny i cackled
- papa sorrengail (im going to deadname him) i do love you man
- SHADOW HANDCUFFS OH MY GOS i had a seizure in my reading hammock
- he is my choice. that got me. that felt good.
- DRAAAAAAAAKE (CFFH: i may say this later, but alli (no tag bc she’s not done reading yet) made drake so sexy to me (and amy! also no tag) and i was kind of disappointed lmfao)
- vi rlly out here playing cousins or dating
21-30
- i loooooove him calling her love all the time
- it’s so crazy to me that he’s relaxed without magic but im glad! since i do think this is his ending over all
- helena bets time: the deal the krovlan rebels didn’t uphold was smth to do with the irids or the feather tails
- “xaden riorson is a lot of things, but happy usually isn’t one of them” hey man what the fuck
- this feels like a fever dream this is the dragon show christmas episode that isn’t relevant to the plot what do you mean they’re bonding over horses
- hey guys is this…capitalism?
- i can’t get over the isle kingdoms being kerch (CFFH: if you haven’t read six of crows this won’t make any sense, but if you have….)
- ARETIA IS THE SECOND MOST BEAUTIFUL THING I MVE EVER SEEN AND MY HOME IS THE FIRST (CFFH: he was ON ONE in this)
- maybe im toxic but he’s being so nice im so anxious about something going wrong 💀 like he stays in the isles or something jesus
- “even if we did, we can’t be in two places at once” + xaden acting weird ….. (CFFH: i want to say third signet but i don’t know)
- what the FUCK is going on with him like it’s really hot but it’s freaking me out
- IM GIVING DIPLOMACY A TRY NOT SURE ITS FOR ME THOUGH (CFFH: dare i say lilith parallel)
- HE WOULD HAVE IF HE’D MET HIM. knocked me on my ass.
- i have an idea i just dont like being wrong baby violet i need to give you a forehead kiss
- why is violets dad the grandpa from the inheritance games
- im going to bed fr fr now but my last minute prediction is that he marries vi to make her an aristocrat (this is wishful thinking) (also we don’t HAVE to rescue halden) (like it’s fine if we don’t)
- MY CONSORTTTTTTTT
- WHEN WOULD BE. can he propose for real. please. (CFFH: this is hurting my feelings)
- bro his LINES IN THIS ???? who do you swear fealty to/VIOLET
- he’s acting less sus…i did NOT like that epigraph abt “returning to his true nature” (CFFH: maybe im on something but idk if this was meant to reflecrt him draining the alloy or whatever it was orrrr if it was abt vi channeling somehow!)
- im almost worried he’s trying to marry her before he kills himself or something but he keeps telling her how selfish he is so maybe not (CFFH: close!)
- her EDS is also a lot better done this time around (CFFH: from a layman’s point of view, obviously, but her injuries were much more graphic, and her other symptoms were actually on page. i really appreciated this)
- oh my godddd sloane and dain.
- i feel like the bond fuckery is vi’s second signet ???? i ALSO feel like it’s sexy
- DAXTON
- PAPA SORRENGAIL HAS A MAIDEN NAME
- also bodhi TOTALLY has a second signet that little LIAR i wonder if he’s an inntinnsic too or smth.
- god imagine bodhi has resurrection
- im trying to be normal but i feel like its insane we’re just now learning where violets family is from idk!!!
- why is dain sweet in this idk also this happened earlier but vi’s dad teaching him languages FOR violet makes me want to cry
- im so fucking proud of violet holy crap
- is violet ??? unnbrian????
31-40
- FOREHEAD TAT LIKE THEOPHANIE!!!!
- violet absolutely can wield there im calling it rn shawty is MAGICAL (CFFH: i guess maybe it’s her touched by dunne ??? thing ??? and she’s somehow ??? half god ????)
- god xaden and dain love her so much
- why does rebecca never let me see xaden do her wraps for her i want to seeeeee
- they’re all in couple pairs so obviously dain and garrick are fucking next (CFFH: this was a joke but tbh…i could be convinced idk)
- god so timing wise DID papa sorrengail meet xaden’s mom !/!:!3&3’ejd (CFFH: i don’t think so ??? but maybe ???)
- not sure my thoughts on the name talia (CFFH: this is bc i picture my bestie Thalia Grace)
- the mommy issues are churning my stomach
- i loooooove aaric holy
- dude i totally thought ridoc was dead
- babe! this isn’t you!
- oh my god ?????? i was NOT expecting violet to give them the old kazzledazzle (CFFH: this is another six of crows reference in which Kaz uses someone’s child as leverage by implying that he’ll kill them, basically, except Kaz is on page morally gray. in THIS book violet is, but i don’t think she had been before now)
- this is genuinely honest to god NOT how i thought their relationship would go and it’s freaking me out
41-50
- you’re my soul JESUS what is he ON
- god poor andarna
- I KNEW HE WAS AN ARIES AND NOT A PICSES I KNEWWWW ITTTT
- she wrote him a letter 🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹
- i will say i’ve been wondering if the venin effects xaden experiences are more of a ptsd metaphor than anything
- is cuir trans bc i totes thought she was a woman
- ….it would be a shame to kill my last living relative….
- god the adaptations to the running landing mean so much to me im so proud of her
- violet baby i love you to pieces
- you do some of your best work on that throne 😭😭😭😭 (CFFH: the amount of callbacks in this book was very intriguing to me)
- WERE HOME VI ACT LIKE IT
- i was actually rlly against xaden telling anyone he was venin but it’s all gone surprisingly well
- if lindell and lewellen are xaden and liam’s gay foster dads….dont call don’t text
- shadow handcuffs………………..
- im a fan!
- god i did NOT expect that to be the route they took? with the sex ? (CFFH: i thought they were gonna handcuff XADEN. )
- she is absolutely having xaddys dreams but idk what the FUCK the cat one was
- IS XADENS THIRD SIGNET PROPHETIC DREAMS. (CFFH: im leaning towards venin mindfuckery but who knows)
51-end
- i am actually really enjoying tairn and adarna this read although id like a dragon punnet square
- violet is so venin. xaden IS power she says while she says SHE IS power mmmmm rebecca i know your secrets (CFFH: see yall after book 4 idk)
- hi who the fuck was the high priestess and why does it matter im so confused i can see the puzzle pieces and i am flipping the table
- also crack pot theory entered my head. if xaddy gets 3 signets then vi has to get 3 signets. tairn never says naolin he always says “the one who came before” what if…hear me out…somehow it was papa sorrengail???? and not naolin ??? at least not naolin the whole time so then she’s getting a third signet from tairn
- why the fuck did vi not listen to aaric in the first place mans clearly knows what he’s talking about (CFFH: #drama)
- okay is violet a demigod. is that what’s going on
- IS HER HAIR NOT ACTUALLY SILVER (CFFH: i feel like it has to be ????)
- okay wait im thinking about the dedication thing they said earlier -> lilith is sick -> they think fetus vi is going to die -> they ??? dedicate ??? her ??? to dunne ??? (CFFH: i still don’t know actually except she’s two and not a fetus? and it was just papa sorrengail. also i think they rode tairn there LMAO but maybe im insane)
- i cant get over garrick being a distance wielder i need to check on the immrick girlies (CFFH: immrick girlies i hope you’re well!!)
- god how are the irids involved in rsc ???
- i exist for tairn, but i live for xaden okay girl okayyyy
- god does she get to keep being an inntinnsic now ?????
- THRILLED about her sleeping in xadens clothes
- were past the break up stage he’s sooooo real i love him
- core. memory. (CFFH: this is the biggest sin rebecca’s committed anachronism wise my god)
- god DID they get secret married ????
- god when they said bring your brother and i thought she meant liam was being resurrected i actually started to enter cardiac arrest (CFFH: am i the only one 😔)
- is bodhi actually his secret brother and garrick knows and we don’t because what the fuck (CFFH: i guess it could just be vibes?)
- my heart is not in my chest cavity after the liam business
- COLONEL DAXTONS GUIDE TO EXCELLING IN THE SCRIBE QUADRANT!!!!!
- i knew that was how it was going to go purely from alli’s take the second they said they had mira i was like reciting the sitq ending (CFFH: obviously i was slightly wrong but still! this is controversial but the fact that she let everyone were close to (mira/ridoc) live and only killed off tertiary characters kind of undercut the experience for me idk!)
- oh my god dain and sloane 🥹
- come back to me/only ever you
- DUKE OF ANGST
- is garrick’s distance wielding how they dealt with the fuck ass trips to aretia that didn’t work with the timeline bc that’s brilliant actually god damnit
- the bullshit about being everywhere at once means something i can feel it
- RHIANNON?????
- cannot believe that line is feirge
- hi so fun fact i don’t think jm meant to read for this many hours straight i feel like im locked in a trance
- THE ONLY PERSON I TRULY LOVE ???? ABOUT QUINN??? IMOGEN ???
- what on earth is imogen’s second signet bc i don’t think that’s how fire wielding works ????
- i cannot believe the marked ones all have second signets what the ever loving fuck
- i feel like quinn’s death was just not that impactful however imogen saying her mom and sister will know who she is made me tear up jesus
This is where I stopped taking notes!! I’m SO confused about the ending. To be quite honest, I think I’ll reblog this with my thoughts on the ending after I’ve re read it, because I’m LOST. What did Xaden show Sgaeyl ???? Who turned venin with him, because I thought Bodhi but maybe Garrick but maybe both??? how DARE rebecca now show me the riorgail wedding ?/??2?3?3$33&:! WHO does he have a DEAL with???
misc thought that didn’t make it up there:
- i LOVE how she handled Sawyer’s amputation and rehab.
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girl-lostconnection · 1 month ago
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We are doing slow and steady because it feels right for me but frankly, if someone wants to talk about the au or has any thoughts of their own…hit me up, I’m dying to talk about this thing while it stews
Unsweetened Lemonade AU (part 3)
Warnings: bullying, food as coping mechanism, Punk!Ghost x Nerd!Reader, trauma bonding (in a way ig), harassment
Part 1 || Part 2 || Part 4
Being bullied is a lot like constantly being in the spotlight. A bad kind of spotlight, one you never sure how to fully evade.
There are days when you think you mastered it and you can keep going with your life but it’s never lasts long.
People on average are very frustrated with the lack of response they get from you, sometimes it feels like it pushes them to be even harsher on you when you don’t cry.
You don’t understand why — relatives and older cousins often brush it off, advice to just “don’t pay attention to them and it will go away” or “don’t give them a reaction and they will get bored”.
It never works.
The more distant you are — the worse people get, the more vicious and dangerous their attempts to get a rise out of you become.
It hurts and it hurts and it hurts and it hurts.
Gets a little easier when you eat something — anything really, but sugar works the fastest and warm food soothes the best.
You are a big fan of potatoes actually, meals with them always feel a little warmer. A little better.
As if life can be not just tolerable but enjoyable.
The feeling never lasts, because a different one takes its place as soon as you are done with your food.
It opens up abyss in your chest, cold slimy feeling of it spreading under your skin like someone opened a can of worms inside of you and let them roam freely.
It makes you feel stuffed and on the verge of gagging, like you ate too much (you know you ate too much, it always happens, you just can never seem to stop in time — too hungry for comfort, too hungry for happiness, too hungry for love)
You hate this feeling.
You don’t know what it means but its not better than how school makes you shake and makes you feel lightheaded, sounds suddenly too sharp, everything too much, heart pounding like it wants to ram through your ribs.
You are scared and upset and you are so mad it makes you want to scream and rage, so maybe someone finally hears what feels like meltdown you’ve been having inside of your head.
Like screaming in the middle of the room, when you are on entirely different wavelength — people simply do not hear you.
Like the article you read about the whale who vocalised too high for others of his kind to hear — forever silent, forever lonely. The odd one.
Sore thumb of its family.
The thought makes you cry about the damn whale a little more than you should, but maybe that’s these bits of mourning you allow yourself for both of you.
Ghost isn’t sure he understands you for the most part because well…he never really wanted to — opposite sides of the loser spectrum, remember?
But there is something in the way you always brace for impact, in the way you know exactly how to stay under the radar, in the way you never cry in front of anyone no matter how badly it gets.
You start sitting with him during lunch, huddled closer to the wall so your back is covered. Every time you make your way to the spot across from Simon you give him something.
An apple, an orange, energy bar, half bag of candies, sandwich, juice box, a nice pencil (technically not a gift, you were supposed to just lend it to him but it looks like Simon Riley was raised in the damn forest and he doesn’t give it back. Should’ve known better)
And at this point it all feels a lot less like charity and a lot more like a bribe? An offering? (Can he consider himself a very vengeful god? Or a very moody spirit? Or (ha-ha) a really unpredictable ghost whose pill you sweeten up every time so he swallows it without chomping your bloody hand off).
Simon isn’t sure what to make of it.
Ghost just takes it, always stuffing it in his backpack quickly, like part of him expects you to snatch it away and laugh in his face. (Nice things aren’t for him but you keep bringing him stuff and he’s never gonna say no to free food or something nice. It’s his now, you already gave it to him and he almost gobbled it down, hiding it in his cheek like a chipmunk)
Realistically it’s not that anyone could laugh in his face and walk away unscathed because perpetually brooding and always ready to bite Ghost never pulls his punches. But still.
“What if”, you know?
Ghost doesn’t talk to you because he doesn’t know how to. What would you two even talk about?
But he makes one unfortunate comment about your appearances and gets a glare so scorching it makes fine hairs at the nape of his neck raise in something very akin to trepidation.
You hiss that it’s rich coming from him and his fucked up mug and suddenly Simon can’t help but snort, sound shocking both him and you — his cheekbones flashing red as he turns away.
A bone-deep part of him likes to see you flare up, likes to see the lights turn on in the haunted house you call your head.
He likes to see you biting, something in him finally content to hear the imaginary growl of your wounded animal.
This type of pain he understands. This is the anger he gets well.
His cup of tea, that’s for sure.
Ghost sits with you during lunches and other than that your paths don’t cross because well…why would they? You are not friends and he’s not your bloody knight in shining armour.
But there is a slight change, almost unnoticeable— like torturously slow shift of tectonic plates, like watching a pine tree grow, like cracks in years-old iceberg.
Ghost doesn’t seek you out but he notices ones that a different bully now (the first one is still nursing fractured nose, he hopes, fucking wanker) causes you trouble in the library — stands too close, lets his hands wander too loosely, offers to go “someplace quiet”.
Simon feels like a bucket of ice was just dumped on him.
Ghost cracks his neck and slings backpack over the shoulder, striding in the library like he’s one ominous icebreaker. Would suit him well, he’s used to ramming through problems with nothing but his body.
Ghost growls that library IS quiet and that the damn rubbish of a person should fuck off right now if they don’t want to know how it feels to have a broken nose.
Like the one their friends has, happy coincidence, eh? Surely that’s something they can have a little chat about.
Ghost drawls “chat” like it’s an insult and barely holds back the urge to snap his jaws in the face of the person who harassed you in the broad bloody daylight.
Simon herds you away deeper in the library, eyes scanning the space, finding a table in the corner and he just jerks his head — there. If you feel like reading your bloody books in a public space guess he will need to sit himself down too.
After all, your offerings?bribes?gifts? shouldn’t be in vain. Ghost despises charity and doesn’t need anyone’s fucking pity, much less yours.
But if it can be mutually beneficial arrangement…well, surely you can bring him two apples instead of one.
You look at him a little too long for his comfort but you frankly do not give a toss right this second. It’s absolutely insane and you never would have thought that in the past but you are actually relieved to see him.
Everyone knows that Simon “Ghost” Riley is aggressive cunt with chip on his shoulder and heavy paw of a hand.
But maybe it’s a good thing if you want people to leave you alone.
Maybe it’s a good thing that you don’t extend your hand and he doesn’t bite.
Maybe it’s a good thing that you stay silent — he guards your back while you do homework, you bring him food and don’t stare when he practically inhales it — his hunger palpable and dripping from the tips of his overbite.
You know the desperate raw intensity that makes people like you two crave the most basic of comforts.
Anything to fill the slimy void in your chest and his belly.
You find that you don’t mind. You aren’t sure if you care either (but something inside you clenches when he breathes out in relief and gobbles up container of baked potatoes you sneak in for him).
Simon isn’t sure how to feel about it either. It’s nice and he doesn’t do nice.
But maybe there can be some exceptions. Small ones. Nothing too big, yeah? You are not friends after all.
And he’s not your bloody knight in shining armour
Taglist: @figthoughts @pastelbabygirl19 @haven-1307 @viennakarma @itsmadamehydra
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evielmostdefinitely · 1 year ago
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slightly odd request but i’ve LOVED cold tonight and the others in the mini series and i was wondering if you could write something where reader gets into a disagreement with the caption wife of a politician snow HATES and reader does everything correct and is ‘well behaved’ for snow so when he gets her home she sort of breaks down in concern he’ll punish her and she’s worrying he’s mad at her but instead he just comforts her and tells her how good she is etc etc , maybe some praising smut if you fancy ? totally ok if it’s not your cup of tea !!!!
bitter cold |young!coriolanus snow x capitol!reader|
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prompt: as requested above :)
contains: alludes to dom/sub themes but not super heavy. possessive, dark snow. reader gets hurt (not by snow). slight smut at the end but not super graphic.
“Mrs. Snow,” The snarl in her tone, you could practically picture the baring teeth, lips pursed in a forced smile that resembled more of a grimace waiting behind you; Cypher Crane. 
You turned, a polite smile on your lips- years of training. These dinners weren’t new to you by any means. You had grown up attending numerous socialite events such as this, only now, you were the President’s wife. 
“Cypher,” You greeted the brunette woman with a clenched grin. “Lovely to see you.” 
“Yes,” She hissed, eyes trailing down your figure, over your outfit with a flare of her nose in disapproval. “I’m sure it is.” 
You winced, sucking in a breath. And so it begins, you thought. Cypher was your age, you’d grown up going to school together, school yard friends even, at one point. Until you married Coriolanus. Since the death of her elder sister, Arachne, the entire Crane family had blamed Coriolanus. It was his idea that they go see the tributes, and therefore his fault she died. It never bothered Corio, he’d roll his eyes and wave it off, “The family is grieving. Let them blame me if it makes them feel better.” He’d scoff. Still, it upset you, their constant provoking. 
You cleared your throat lightly, scanning the room for Coriolanus on the other end, desperate to be away from Cypher, the tension already too much. “If you’ll excuse me, my husband needs me-” 
“-No, I need to have a word with you.” Cypher blocked your step easily, clutching her champagne flute. Your heart hammered, trying to stay calm, cool. 
“About?” You lifted a brow, tone lifting to stay light and casual- unbothered, hoping you would stay the same. 
“The games,” Her eyes narrowed, lips fixing in a tight line. 
Your heart dropped. Corio had made a number of changes to the games. Alongside Dr. Gaul, the two were working to gain more and more viewers. His first games, and he wanted them to be perfect. The changes had been announced to the sponsors council only a few days prior. You were sure that was why Cypher wanted to talk to you.
“Your husband,” Her words drenched in venomous disgust. “Made changes to the games.” You sucked in a breath as she took a step closer to you. “To the tributes.” 
Your eyes darted around. Where were your friends? Where was Corio? Tigris? Anyone to help you. 
“Yes, he has.” You nodded, swallowing the growing lump in your throat. “Dr. Gaul and Coriolanus thought it best that the tributes be welcomed and celebrated for their sacrifices-” 
“-I fucking know what he said.” Cypher snapped, her voice bouncing off the marble of the room, catching the attention of the guests around you- maybe the whole room. You were too scared to look, truthfully. Coriolanus’ icy, curious gaze had found yours, brows furrowed. 
“I was there when this ridiculous idea was presented, and quite frankly I’m surprised at you.” Cypher sneered, finger jabbing dangerously close towards your face. “Your own daily endorsing this-this monstrosity. Treating tributes as heroes? Funding new trains and tearing down the tribute zoo? Giving them this pedestal to parade around on?” 
“Darling,” Coriolanus’ tone was tight, it made your heart skip. You looked at him, eyes rounded in fear, pinned against the wall. Cypher close to you, Coriolanus behind her. “Is everything alright?” You knew he was upset about the commotion, the improperness of it. 
Your words jumbled in your mouth, fumbling over a calm, collected response. Cypher never turned, never moved, kept her furious gaze on you. “You know my sister was killed by one of those tributes?” Cypher sneered. 
The room stilled, Coriolanus’ eyes falling to you. You weren’t sure what to do, uncomfortable and a little frightened. “You do know it, and now you want to reward them? Reward the rebellion? That’s what you’re doing aren’t you?” 
“No.” You shook your head. “No, never, I- we would never-” 
“-Liar!” Cypher roared, lunging at you. She shoved you against the wall, your head smacking the heavy marble, wincing through clenched vision, waiting for the strike. 
Instead, Coriolanus had her, arms wrenched around her shoulders, shoving her with such force to the ground before the Peacekeepers drug her away. “You killed my sister! You did, Snow! And now you’re rewarding the ones who killed her! Her blood is on your hands, you rebels!” 
“Move,” Corio shoved the Avoxes out of the way, eyes scanning over your features furiously. “Are you alright? Are you hurt?” He whispered, jaw clenched in fear, maybe rage. 
“I-I’m alright.” You took a shaky breath, reaching to the back of your head, rubbing the forming knot. Corio’s grip tightened around you.
“Take her to my lab.” Gaul commanded the guards, bright eye wandering wickedly Coriolanus’ way. He nodded, lips pursed furiously, one arm around you. “Clear everyone out.” He commanded with a sharp jerk of his head. 
“Corio, I-I’m fine.” Your breath shuddered, gripping his arm to steady yourself. “Everyone doesn’t have to leave-” 
“-I’m taking you to be examined.” Coriolanus’ jaw was tight, pulling you down the Capitol’s steps with a fury. 
“I don’t need that, darling, I promise. I-I’m alright.” Your heart beat furiously. You had ruined his event. You knew how important this was, and you let it get out of hand. Now, Corio was furious, and why wouldn’t he be? 
“You need to be examined.” Coriolanus’ tone was sharp, leaving no room for argument. Instead, his hand wrapped tighter around your bicep, hauling you to the private wing of the Capitol’s mansion- your shared wing. 
You didn’t fight, sure if you opened your mouth, you might be sick. Instead you sat obediently, letting the doctor examine you, avoiding Coriolanus’ intense, watchful gaze on you. Your fate was sealed, you knew it. Knew that he was upset with you- that he’d punish you for such a display.
The doctor checked you, wrote it off as a mild concussion with orders to not sleep. Coriolanus’ response of “I will ensure of it,” in such a cutting, firm tone, made you shiver. 
The room was eerily still when the doctor left, just you and Coriolanus residing in your bedroom, a thick tension in the air. 
“How are you feeling?” You jumped at the sound of his voice, sharper than normal, though his brows were furrowed with something softer. Concern, perhaps? 
“I-I’m ok, Corio.” You swallowed your nerves, clutching the duvet of the bed. “Just an ache.” 
“How bad of an ache? You didn’t tell the doctor this.” Corio huffed, standing quickly, crossing the bedroom with a fury. 
“Corio, don’t. I’m fine.” You shook your head, moving off the edge after him.
 Coriolanus turned around, frowning at you. “You’re not supposed to be up.” He huffed, harsher than he meant to. “Sit down.” 
You flinched, scurrying back obediently. “I’m sorry. I-I just, I’m fine. I promise. I’m ok.” You stuttered, stomach dropping and twisting with fear. 
Corio paused, watching you with careful eyes. He’d written off your skittish behavior as fear from the situation, fear from being hurt. Now, he watched you cower before him, eyes peering at him the way those he executed did, trembling with pure horror. 
An unpleasant heaviness settled in his chest, sinking to his stomach. “My love,” Corio frowned, stepping towards you. “Are you alright?” 
“I’m ok, Corio, I promise. I-I’m just-just…” You looked at him, head turned down, curled into yourself. 
Coriolanus knelt in front of you, between your legs, taking your face into his hands gently, stomach lurching at the way you tensed. “What’s the matter?” He whispered, blue eyes scanning your face for a sign, any indication as to why you were so fearful. 
You hesitated, lip rolling between your teeth. You wanted to stay silent, be obedient and not further him any more. His gentle touches were lulling you, coaxing your own anxieties out of you. 
“Corio, I swear, I-I did not mean for that conversation to get out of hand as it did.” Your eyes met his gaze hesitantly. “I tried to excuse myself. I tried to de-escalate it, and-and move away, but she was so… determined.” 
Coriolanus waited, blinking, still in his own confusion. Your hands twisted in your own clammy grip. “I didn’t mean to ruin your event. I-I was just trying to be polite and-and it got out of hand-” 
“-I know that.” Coriolanus tilted his head gently. “Darling, this isn’t your fault.” 
“She approached me, and-and I should have walked away or-or called you over-” 
“-You did what you should have done.” Coriolanus said firmly, lips pressing together. “I need to know who is with me and who is against me. There are far too many rebels, unscared and ready to strike. Clearly, the Crane family is one and will be dealt with.” You shuddered at the sneer in his tone, the venomous threat ominous of what was to come for the Crane family, what Cypher was already experiencing in Gaul’s lab. 
“I wish that would have been done without her laying a hand on you,” Corio grit, anger flashing through those dazzling, blue eyes that had you swooning when their gaze met yours. “But, I can assure that will not be possible for her to do. Not for much longer.” 
Your grip tightened this time, clutching his hand fiercely, like a lifeline. “You’re not angry with me?” 
“I could never be.” Coriolanus shook his head. “You defended me, I heard you- others heard you.” His lips curled in a soft smile. “I couldn’t have asked for anything better.” 
You beamed under his praise, relaxing into his touch. Corio’s fingers brushed over your knuckles carefully. “Are you feeling ok?” He asked, softer now. A touch of… worry in his tone? 
“Yes,” You nodded, pressing your forehead to his, your noses touching. “It’s just an ache.” 
Coriolanus’ hand tightened in yours. “I should have her whole fucking bloodline removed for that. For putting her hands on you.” 
“Don’t.” You whispered, shaking your head gently. “She’s upset. She lost her sister.” 
“She’ll be losing more than that tonight, my darling, rest assured.” Corio hissed, that cloudy darkness seeping back into his gaze. “I will make sure of it.” 
You didn’t fight him, didn’t try to sway him. You didn’t want to upset him further, there was nothing that could change Cypher’s fate anyways. 
Instead, you let him dote on you. You let Corio’s fingers brush through your hair, parting your scalp, running lightly over the small knot there. His lips were soft, pressing a gentle kiss to the sore area, before replacing it with ice. He even held the ice pack in place when your arm got tired, like a true, doting husband. 
Your eyes would droop, a soft pat to your leg waking you, a stern stare that had you blushing bashfully, thighs pressing together. 
“You have to stay awake, my love.” Corio reminded with a soft grumble, rubbing your scalp gently. 
“So keep me awake.” You purred, pressing up on his chest lightly, body between his legs. Corio grinned, hands cupping your cheeks, pulling you into him, lips hungrily devouring yours. He moved you gently into the goose feather pillows, lips dragging down your cheek, jaw, biting at your neck. He was so sweet to you, fucking you how you liked- on your stomach, his body folded on top of yours, hands intertwined, hot breath grunting and moaning into your ear.
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thatbadadvice · 1 year ago
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Dear Advisor,
I tend to be a very reserved and shy person so making friends is super hard. Recently I’ve been wanting to socialize more , but I genuinely don’t know how. Is there any advice that you have that can make me look more approachable and not be scared to talk to people. I’m so stressed about being alone and not having any friends, but I just find it so hard to go up to people and make a conversation. I tried once but it became super awkward. I just really need good advice from someone on how to approach a person and continue a conversation.
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Dear Awkward Anonymous,
It would be so easy to get into a whole deep let's-skeetshoot-therapy-on-the-internet session and try to help a total stranger unpack all of the GA-FUCKING-ZILLION ways in which social awkwardness shows up in a person's life. It seems easy, and it even seems meaningful and worthwhile, but to do so I would have to presume a bunch about your life, and make a bunch of assumptions about the ways in which my own experiences maybe/probably track with yours, and it would be a whole big wank-fest, and frankly ... it would be awkward. I'd be like you, standing there at the party, hoping that what I'm saying resonates or lands or even vaguely tracks with anything a stranger has ever known or experienced, presuming (probably rightly!) that it doesn't, and then flailing and blaming myself when I didn't emerge from the interaction with all the world's gold stars.
So here's what: stop talking to other people as a primary social occupation. Going up to people and just talking is fucking terrifying. The Bad Advisor says this as a Certified Extrovert™ who rarely shuts the fuck up.
Instead, find a thing to do with other people that involves some sort of task or goal or activity. Talk about the thing you're doing together, when you're doing it. If it feels okay, maybe introduce one or two of your own relatable-to-the-activity experiences in the process. See who picks up on it. Ask the people who pick up on it genuinely interested questions in response. This is what we awkward people call: engineering a conversation. It is the way, I am told, humans make connections with other humans. I have seen it work in my own life.
Depending on where you live and your ability level and skill set, I bet you have some options! You could seek out an open board game night, pub quiz session, knitting/quilting circle, or mutual aid meetup that's looking for volunteers. Especially look for social activities with strangers that involve a dedicated, pre-prescribed activity (such as a hiking or mall-walking group, stuffing envelopes for a political candidate or cause you care about, planting trees at your local park, or tasting tea/wine/beer/etc.). (Somebody is going to say join a ballroom dancing club or suchlike; I am personally terrified of this, but if you have a higher tolerance for strangers touching you and fewer than two left feet: it's literally an option. Line-dancing, on the other hand ... absofuckinglutely.)
Even if what's available in your area isn't your precise and specific interest, it might be worthwhile to check out something you are decidedly meh about -- you might not be the only meh person there. You can bond over shit that's boring or shitty with other people who find it boring or shitty! Some of my best friends, arguably my very best friends, came out of experiences we mutually loathed or found at least moderately and mutually miserable.
Consider especially finding an activity where you yourself are the manager of operations and/or have a designated task to take care of that is unique to your position! This doesn't have to be complicated or skill-dependent; can you become a voter registrar in your area? Well, bam! You've got paperwork people have to fill out and a good reason to jibber-jabber with folks who have to ask you the questions. Other ideas: join your local neighborhood association board, become a notary public, or see if your local pet rescue is looking for intake line volunteers. Do you have a trustworthy, especially outgoing friend who might agree to play "social glue" for you a couple of times at their activity-centric events? Make it explicit! Ask them if they'll play friendly wing-person for you at their D&D game, fantasy sports league, or some such.
Alternately: Do you have a unique and fun and shareable skillset you can share with others? Are you pretty good at drawing, programming? Simply a font of endless Merlin or NFL or Real Housewives knowledge? You might start a local Discord or other online social group to discuss and share your interests, then move it to the real world in a few weeks once folks get comfortable. You get the idea.
Most of all: Look for stuff that has more-than-just-talking opportunities available outside the designated group jam for you to maintain connections. Perhaps a group chat, a Discord, a Slack, what-have-you, where you can take more time to consider and draft your responses and posts? Connections with humans get made a thousand ways, and talking raw-dog with strangers is but one.
It takes a true social unicorn to be simply good at talking and only talking to other people. There are some of these one-horned wonders out there, to be sure — but let me assure you that the vast majority of folks want to be accepted and seen just as much as you do, and they're staring at the ceiling at night thinking just as much (more, probably) about all the weird, wonky shit they themselves threw at you than they are anything you ever said to them.
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ddaz3d-and-cc0nfused · 11 months ago
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Hi! Spencer Reid x reader where reader is kind of panicking because she’s worried Spencer will get tired of her and find someone that’s more like him personality wise? But then Spence reassures her that he loves her and only her? 🎀🚬🤍🤎
fem bimbo!plus size reader, wc: 589.
a/n: no i am not going to let bimbo reader sleep, but also i've been posting so much aaron recently, which is funny because i've been so obsessed with spencer recently. thank you for your request!
cw! angst :(
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“I guess opposites really do attract huh?”
It was just a joke. A harmless, well meaning joke that completely spun your world off of its axis.
You were aware of the differences between you and your boyfriend, but you never felt bad about it, nor did he ever make you think that you weren't good enough for him. You would have liked to think that your differences was what made Spencer fall in love with you; but now you’re not too sure.
Yeah, sure, you needed help with understanding certain things, and your processing was a bit slower than others, but that didn’t make you stupid or annoying… right? 
What if you talked too much? What about that time that you kept interrupting Spencer while he was reading? Did you irritate him? Did he think about breaking up with you? You’d never had thoughts like these before because you never had a reason to. You always felt secure in your relationship with Spencer, like you were his equal. 
Spencer wasn’t used to your silence, it was unusual and quite frankly it raised the red flags in his mind. He was so used to your rambling about anything and everything that the quietness of his apartment was making him itch. 
“Sweetheart?” He called out softly.
It was almost as if his words scared you, your body jumping at the sound of him breaking the serene atmosphere of his almost dark academia-esque apartment. 
“Yes?” Your voice was hushed and meek and Spencer absolutely hated it.
He set his book down on the side table where he uncurled his legs and patted the spot on the couch next to him. “C’mere.” You looked almost hesitant to move, but nonetheless you got up and sat down. 
He grabbed your hand and held it firmly, but you didn’t make any effort to hold it back. It made Spencer nervous; did he do something?
“Sweetheart,” He reiterated. “Is something wrong?”
“Am I too much?” Your panic was quick to build. “What do you mean?” Spencer’s brows were furrowed inquisitively. “Like - like do I talk a lot? Or - or are my clothes too colorful? Do I ask too many questions?” Your speech fired out rapidly, almost as if you didn’t say what you wanted to know you may never do.
“Hey, hey, hey… no, no, stop.” Spencer was quick to shush you, opting to hold your face instead of your hand. “Did someone tell you that?” You shook your head, “No, yes? I don’t know. It - it was just because of that stupid joke Morgan had made.”
Ah, he remembers now.
“The one about opposites attracting?” You nod feebly. “And it got me thinking… what if I’m - what if I’m not a good match for you? You might want someone that’s similar to you,  one that knows how to play chess and understands all those super cool facts you know.” 
“Honey,” Spencer interrupts with a light laugh. “No.”
He wasn’t laughing at you, he was laughing at the sheer fact that he couldn’t imagine ever wanting someone else.
“I want you. I’ve only ever wanted you. I - I do admit that we are different, but that’s not necessarily a bad thing. I like that you aren’t like me. It’s comforting, and I just… I just love everything about you. I love you.”
“You promise?” You asked wetly with a pout. His lithe thumbs swipe at the tears trickling down your cheeks as he nodded, “Of course.”
“I love you too, Spencie.” 
There you were. His girl.
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borathae · 8 months ago
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Man of the Hour
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“You love your best friends, which means that Jungkook will do anything in his powers to make sure that they are safe.”
Pairing: CEO!Jungkook x f.Reader
Genre: married life!AU, Comfort
Warnings: protective!Jungkook, one of OC's friends needs help and he is there for her, sexual harassment, he's the best hubby ever, mentions of sexwork, tears, he's quite frankly The Man
Wordcount: 1.9k
a/n: the header fucking ruins me. he is so handsome ngngn. also, i saw a tiktok about a woman's husband helping her bestie move out of her abusive ex's place and went "you know what? aaol!Kook would always be there for OC's besties" so i wanted to write something about it 🤍
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Six fourty two. Jungkook has a little over an hour left until he can finally go home. He doesn’t know that yet because he is currently lost in his work. He has concepts to write and contracts to go through. Jungkook has a very thorough and good team of lawyers which go through anything law related, but Jungkook still likes to check for himself. In his field of work, it is best to trust himself and only himself.
You are already at home, promising him dinner. His favourite. He can’t wait to get home to you. He will give you the tightest hug imaginable and then follow it up with a smooch to your face and lots of promises of his eternal love.
His phone rings. 
Jungkook looks at his smart watch, furrowing his brows in confusion. This is a caller he hadn’t expected to call. He picks up with a funny feeling in his stomach.
“Noona?”
“Jungkook, thank fuck you picked up. I didn’t know who else to call, I need your help.”
At that his ears perk up. The distress is obvious in her voice.
“What happened? Are you okay?”
Loud club music plays in the background. Distorted voices are filling the chaos as well.
“No. I’m at Saturn and there are men who want to hurt me. T-they keep talking about taking turns on, on me.”
Jungkook straightens up in his chair.
“Are you safe right now?”
“I locked myself in the bathroom.” Loud banging. “Jungkook, can you please come and get me? They’re banging on the door. I’m scared.”
“I’m coming. Don’t go anywhere. I promise, I’m coming.”
“Thank you. Thank you so much.”
The phone call ends.
“Noona? Wheein noona?” Jungkook tries, ‘goddamn it, I’m coming.”
He leaves his office quickly, typing in your number to let you know what was happening.
“Bunny, hey there”, you sound happy about his call. “Are you coming home earlier?”
“Wheein noona is in danger.”
“What!?”
“She just called me that she is at Saturn and some assholes are trying to hurt her. She’s in the bathroom, safe for now, but I’m gonna get her.”
“Holy fuck, Kook. Please get her, please. I’m gonna call her right away.”
“Do that. See you later, love.”
“See you.”
The phone call ends. Jungkook gets into his car moments later, driving off as quickly as the law allows. He won’t let Wheein wait. He won’t let any of your friends wait. 
They lovingly call him their adoptive man of the hour sometimes because he will always be there for them if one of them needs male support. Be it something as innocent as moving furniture too heavy or hanging up curtains on a window too high, Jungkook will be there to help as best as possible. The same counts for the heavy stuff. Like rescuing Wheein from a dangerous situation because some men see a sex worker and think they have free range to do anything to her. Or stuff like letting Byulyi crash in his guest bedroom for a few weeks because her ex boyfriend turned out to be a piece of shit abuser and she needed to escape the situation. He even helped her move all her stuff, taking his biggest car so she wouldn’t have to go back to the place more than once. 
Jungkook cares and he cares honestly. Which is why he is officially the adoptive man of the hour for your girls. 
Tonight is no different. Jungkook hurries to the club bathroom as quickly as possible, pushing strangers aside with little care about how rude he might seem. Manners don’t count when one of his friends is in danger. 
The men aren’t in front of the bathroom anymore, but that doesn’t calm Jungkook down. They could still be hiding somewhere, waiting for a moment to jump Wheein if she ever comes out. 
He knocks on the door, calling out Wheein’s name.
“It’s me. Jungkook. The air’s clear, I promise.” 
Seconds later the door unlocks. Her face is messy because she cried off her makeup.
“Noona, hey there.” Jungkook steps closer, resting his hands on the doorframe so she was shielded from prying eyes and therefore safe. “I came as quickly as I could. How are you?”
“I’m sorry for calling. I didn’t know who else to call. You’re the only man I can trust.”
“Don’t apologise, noona. I’m just glad that you’re okay. Should we go home?”
“Yeah. Yeah, I’d really like that.”
“Our place or yours?”
“Can I s-stay at your place for a while?” she stutters, looking smaller than normally. Anxiety is definitely shrinking her.
“Of course, you can.” Jungkook assures her and looks over his shoulder. A few men are looking at him. Is that them? He sends them a deathly glare, then looks back at Wheein with soft eyes. “Is it okay for me to put my arm around you? So I can keep you safe?”
“Yeah, please. I’m sorry, I know that’s a lot to ask.”
“Don’t worry. It’s to keep you safe. You can hide away in my side if you need to. I’ll make sure nothing happens.”
“Thank you so much”, she barely gets out and seeks safety in his arms, knowing that she won’t be hurt anymore. And Jungkook takes pride in knowing that he can help her leave this shady place unharmed. He won’t ever let any of your friends get hurt. He will protect them just as much as he will protect you. They are his girls because they are your girls. And Jungkook fights for his girls.
The strange men inch closer like hyenas. So Jungkook’s gist was correct.
“Where are you taking her? We were here first”, one of them tries to fight him, while the others gawk lustfully. Like fucking starving animals. Disgusting.
“I’m gonna punch in your face if you keep talking”, Jungkook spits and leads Wheein past them without giving them any more attention.
“Hey!”
“Come back!”
They call after them.
“Don’t listen to them, noona. I’m here now”, Jungkook assures her and pulls her closer, “fuck, should I get back there and get their names? I’ll tell my lawyers to take care of them.”
“No please just, please just take me away”, she pleads because she is too scared to stay in this situation any longer. Jungkook respects her decision even if he really wants to punish them.
“Alright, I will. Don’t worry”, Jungkook promises, leading her safely out of the club and to his car.
He helps her inside and rounds the car, looking at the club one last time. The animals which call themselves men are lingering by the entrance, sending deathly glances Jungkook’s way.
“Fucking vermin”, he presses out and gets inside his car. He locks the doors and starts the engine. “I’ve got water in the door compartment if you need it.”
“Thank you”, Wheein whispers and relaxes in the seat just as Jungkook finally takes her away from the scary situation.
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You are in the parking garage, dressed in slippers and your loungewear and looking beyond worried, when they finally arrive at home. You run to Wheein the moment the car pulls in, calling out to her.
“Unnie! Oh god, I was so worried!” you hug her tightly. So tightly in fact that her brittle composure finally breaks and she cries into your shoulder. 
“I was so scared. So, so scared.”
“I’m sorry, unnie. Oh god this is awful, I’m sorry. Let’s go upstairs, I made tea.”
“Thank you. You have no idea how much I need this tonight.”
“Unnie, of course. You can crash here if you want to.”
“I think I do.”
“You can stay as long as you need. What happened? Do you wanna tell me? Oh god, unnie I’m so glad that you’re okay.”
“I was so scared. One of them recognised me from Paradis and, and then he and his friends tried to get me to fuck them and when I said no they followed me to-” She hides away in your arms. “I can’t.”
“It’s okay unnie, it’s okay. Just cry in my arms, I’m here.”
Jungkook lets you and Wheein talk, while he stands next to you and listens, rubbing your lower back soothingly. Wheein cries the entire elevator ride, telling you all about what happened while you curse at the men. Jungkook wanted to curse as well. He hates most of his fellow men a lot. He bears witness to how most act and think and talk when there are no women present. If Jungkook saved up each time one of his business partners made a misogynistic “joke” about their wives or women in general, he would be able to buy a house within six months. If he saved up each time he has one of them confesses how they are cheating on said wives followed by a “huh? As a man you should understand me” when Jungkook voices his distaste for such behaviour, he could buy a new sports car within seven months. Jungkook loathes most of his fellow men and how they carry their hatred for half of humanity with fucking pride. 
Wheein eats dinner with you, after taking a shower and borrowing some of your clothes. You sit by her side, holding her hand as she keeps repeating the story over and over again to work through it. Neither you nor Jungkook mind that she keeps repeating herself. Sometimes one just needs to keep talking about the same stuff over and over again until it finally stops hurting.
After dinner, you and Jungkook don’t really get to talk a lot because somehow the situation was so shocking that you both forgot to function until Wheein was truly safe in her bed. 
Jungkook is still in his suit, cleaning the kitchen after loading the dishwasher, when you return from the bathroom. He shrugged off his jacket and tie, but kept his waistcoat on. The main lights are off, only the stand lights in the living room are turned on and the light above the stove. Jungkook likes working in darkness because it is easier on his eyes. They get sensitive after a long day at the office.
You come up behind him, sneaking your arms around him so your hands were resting on his pecs innocently. Jungkook places the towel aside and leans back into your hug, caressing your lower arms.
“Thank you”, you whisper.
“Mhm”, he hums, closing his eyes. 
“Thank you so fucking much.”
He hums again. You turn him to you, holding his hands and pressing them against his chest. He looks at you, waiting for you to speak. The gratitude in your eyes is almost consuming them whole.
“You have no idea how much I appreciate what you did for Wheein today. What you keep doing for all of them.”
“They’re your best friends, which means I gotta be there for them. No, I want to be there for them.”
“You and I both know that not many think this way. Seriously, thank you so fucking much.”
He smiles, discarding you with a shake of his head.
“I’m just glad that noona is safe.”
“Me too. Fuck, me too”, you say, sagging your shoulders. You look up at him, pouting sadly to the point where your lower lip trembles. “I think I need a hug.”
“Come here.” Jungkook hugs you, rubbing the back of your head. “She’s safe now. I promise.”
“I’m so glad.”
“Me too.” Jungkook hugs you tighter when he hears you sniffle. “Let it out if you need to. I’m here for you.”
You melt into him, feeling safe. He is truly the man of the hour. Your gentle, good hearted man of the hour. 
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cressidagrey · 19 days ago
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Schrodinger's... Girlfriend? - Chapter 6: Of Burglaries and Beasts
Pairing: Oscar Piastri x Original Character
Summary:
Oscar Piastri’s love life is the talk of the F1 world—mainly because no one’s ever seen his girlfriend. Does she exist? Or is she just a figment of his imagination? Detective Lando Norris to the rescue!
Warnings: 
I don't think there are any?
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Lando had actually stolen his phone. 
Oscar wasn’t quite sure if he should be impressed or scared. 
He was leaning towards scared, because Lando had this glint in his eyes, ever since he had been forced to give back said phone by Zac. 
And now there they were…The Silverstone Fanstage 2024 was buzzing with excitement. 
Meanwhile, Oscar would rather be anywhere but there, but that’s what he got for being a Formula 1 driver. 
So there they stood, microphones in hand, while the moderator asked questions and Lando was as charming as only he could be. 
And then the interviewer decided to throw them a curveball. 
“Alright, Oscar!” the moderator started, her voice playful. “There’s been a lot of talk about your mysterious girlfriend over the last few weeks. Can you clear the air and finally tell us the truth?”
Oh, come on. 
Oscar glanced at the crowd, his nerves obvious as he laughed awkwardly. “You know, you guys have been working overtime with these theories.” He paused, rubbing the back of his neck. “But yeah, she’s real. She’s just… private.”
It wasn’t even that Nessie would actually care if the relationship became public knowledge. Neither of them cared. They had talked about it before…it was more that neither of them wanted the hassle that came along with making it public…and quite frankly, fucking with Lando was way too much fun these days. 
Lando, who had been quietly watching the exchange, smirked, clearly not able to resist. “Private? Or imaginary?”
Oscar just rolled his eyes. This again? “Nessie is very much real, thank you very much,” he responded tersely.  A beat of silence passed, and then it hit him. He immediately realized what he’d just said. The slip-up was out there, and there was no taking it back.
Lando’s eyes widened, a grin spreading across his face. “Wait, did you just say ‘Nessie’?” he asked, his voice tinged with laughter. “As in the Loch Ness Monster?!”
Oscar’s face immediately turned red as he slapped a hand to his forehead. 
Ugh. 
“No, I didn’t—ugh, I mean, forget I said that. That was a slip-up,” he said with a grimace.
Lando burst out laughing, leaning into the microphone, clearly reveling in the moment. “Guys, you heard it here first,” he announced, his voice echoing across the stage. “Oscar’s girlfriend is the Loch Ness Monster. No wonder no one’s ever seen her! She’s hiding in a lake somewhere.”
Oscar groaned, his head dropping into his hands as he rubbed his temples. “I hate this. I already regret everything.”
Lando, not missing a beat, turned to the crowd and continued to tease. “Seriously, though. This doesn’t help your case, mate. How are we supposed to believe she’s real when she’s named after a mythical creature?”
Oscar just sighed. “Look, she’s not the Loch Ness Monster,” he told Lando with a roll of his eyes. “Nessie is very much a real person. She’s brilliant, actually. Smarter than me, that’s for sure.” But then seemingly everybody was stupid if you compared the to his genius girlfriend. 
“Nessie is incredibly supportive of me and I am so lucky to have her as my girlfriend,” he said, which was the simple truth. 
Lando laughed, holding up his hands in mock surrender. “Okay, okay, I’m stopping now. But ‘Nessie’ really doesn’t help your case here, Oscar.” He paused for effect. “I’m just saying, it’s not exactly proof that she’s real.”
Oscar rolled his eyes, done with the teasing. “You’ll never let this go, will you?”
The moderator, sensing the tension and wanting to steer the conversation back to something more positive, smiled warmly. “Well, it’s clear she’s been a big source of support for you, Oscar. That’s really sweet to hear.”
Oscar nodded, his voice softening. “Yeah, she’s definitely my biggest cheerleader. She just makes everything feel better. I honestly don’t know what I’d do without her.”
Lando, not able to resist one last jab, mockingly wiped away a tear with the back of his hand. “Aww, Oscar’s a softie! But seriously, I’m happy for you, mate, even if your girlfriend’s an ancient legend from Scotland.”
Oscar rolled his eyes again, unable to hold back a smile. “You’re impossible.”
The moderator chuckled, trying to bring the conversation to a close. “Alright, alright. We’ll move on from the Loch Ness drama. Oscar, it’s clear you care about her a lot. You’re happy, and that’s what matters.”
Oscar smiled, his earlier discomfort fading as he thought of Nessie. “Yeah, I’m really happy. And trust me, she’s not a myth.”
Lando, still clearly entertained by the whole situation, leaned in with a grin. “Well, I still think you’re dating a mythical creature. But hey, if she’s real, I guess I’ll believe it when I see it.”
Oscar shook his head, laughing despite himself. “You’ll meet her one day. Just not in a lake.”
Maybe sooner than Lando thought after all. 
Lando, ever the showman, leaned into the microphone again with a wink. “Loch Ness Merch Drop coming soon!”
Oscar laughed, shaking his head in mock exasperation. “I swear, Lando…”
The moderator, now clearly enjoying the banter, smiled at the crowd. “Thank you, guys. Oscar, you’ve definitely given us some good material for today’s session!”
Oscar, still grinning but shaking his head at Lando, laughed along. “I regret every word I said.”
Lando, on the other hand, was still in stitches. “Nah, mate. This is gold. I’ll never let you live it down.”
Oscar buried his face in his hands once more, but he couldn’t suppress the smile that tugged at his lips. The crowd erupted in laughter, and for a brief moment, Oscar could only laugh along with them—Nessie or not, this was one conversation that would follow him for a long time.
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