#and frankly I'm just so tired
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Ahhhh I am so here for all of your WIPs, and now I must know more about “Rebecca Stark the Wolf King” if you want to talk about it!
WIP Ask Game
(The main file in this is called 'Robb Stark Now Has a Vagina' just FYI)
There's so many files in my folder that have been languishing for YEARS that I've deleted out so many, and saved a few that I feel very partial to!
So Rebecca Stark was my genderbent Robb Stark AU from.... a decade ago? (yeah this is 2013). She was marrying one of the Royces, Robert Baratheon was being a little weird. I had Kristen Stewart a'la Snow White as the face claim because it fit SO WELL and I made some amazing photoshop art for it (and my first time giffing! and I still have those on my desktop).
Here's a snippet behind the cut!
Father had ventured in his slightly awkward way he had whenever he was forced to remember that his oldest, his ‘Bex’, was in fact a woman. He had simply asked what she had thought of Prince Joffrey.
Rebecca did not care for falsehoods but she understood dangerous grounds. So she had answered carefully that she couldn’t actually say whether or not she cared for him as she didn’t know him.
“There you are.”
She glanced up to see her mother coming toward her and she spared her a smile. “Are you sisters taken-- Rebecca! Why isn’t he outside?”
Grey Wind looked up at Catelyn curiously, a whine in the back of his throat and Rebecca shrugged. “It felt safer with him.”
“Safer? That wolf needs to get outside, Rebecca. I told you.”
Rebecca sucked in her lower lip and thought of how in the torchlight the lines on her mother’s face look deeper and more abundant. There is the slightest wisp of silver at her crown and how queenly her mother looks compared to Cersei Lannister. “It’s not like we’re hosting Lord Bolton and his flayed banners.” She wanted to tell her the truth -- that the King makes her uncomfortable. That the Queen’s eyes pierced her back every time she walked past and there’s nothing she could do about it except hide and it isn’t an option.
Her mother’s hand was warm as it slid across her shoulders, her arm a gentle and comforting weight as Catelyn led them into Rebecca’s bedroom, sitting her down at the dressing table. Rebecca looked at their reflections as she watched her mother reach for the comb to work on binding back her thick, dark hair. The sensation of her mother’s nails against her scalp soothed her and Grew Wind pads to the fireplace and curls up on the rug behind them.
Sometimes if Rebecca looked hard enough she could see the similarities in them. The reddish hue to her dark locks had faded over time but their eyes are the same pale green. The same nose, the same Tully jaw. Rebecca remembered sitting in front of the mirror as a child trying to mimic her mother’s stern looks in a way to get her siblings to listen to her.
“Smile more, Rebecca. A lady should always smile.”
Most of Catelyn’s lines were from her warm smiles. The dimples in her cheeks were evidence of that, the little wrinkles in the corners of her eyes and yet that is where her Stark rears it’s head again. Stern dourness that makes the Stark so sullen.
Queen Cersei looks dour, she thought. Starks look reticent. Serious. Regla rulers of the North.
Frigid Starks, Theon’s teasing voice filters. Ice Queen.
#oc: rebecca stark#thank you for the ask!#much like project ironwolf#I have no idea how these would work out since we don't know how ASOIAF ends#and frankly I'm just so tired#also there's just so much
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Learning to celebrate the little wins!
#fersona#While I don't have the capacity to do Hourly Comics Day#I did journal my day hour-by-hour and the sheer difference in my self-care and routines is *staggering*.#Honestly both Feb 1 2024 and 2025 were rough days...but this year I had a far better outlook on it all.#The funny part is that when I drew this a few days ago I actually *was* celebrating not crying.#Might have still cried on Feb 1st. A meagre 4 times. But I also had lot of good moments!#January is a very hard month for me and frankly I've been in a fugue state for most of it.#Drawing helped me pull through these last 2 years but this year I've been finding myself so upset at how I can't seem to focus anymore.#So updates and posts have been slow. I'm just slow. I'm tired and burnt out from work and grieving.#But you know what? The days I do manage to post; I'm never shamed for how long it took. You're all just as excited and kind.#I'm coming home and eating better and sleeping more and spending time with loved ones.#This is all to say; you can be a lot happier when you realize that life can be taken a little slower.#I'm more grateful that words can possibly convey.#If you related to the mindset of constantly feeling like you've 'failed' the day; please know you have done more than you realize.#I'm struggling with it everyday! I'm in the trenches with you!#Life is too short and painful to not celebrate what you *do* accomplish! It's hard work but it is worth it!#Bit by bit...we will learn to live. *Really* live. And enjoy it!
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The thing no one ever considers while writing up character analyses about Merlin is that. he must have been sooooooo sleepy.
#I see everyone talking about the nuances when you look at Merlin through [x] lens#BUT WHAT ABOUT THE SLEEPY LENS#WE CAN’T KEEP SLEEPING ON THE SLEEPY LENS#(can u tell I'm exhausted)#see this reads as if I'm joking but I'm actually being SO serious. I think the lack of rest was a significant factor in Merlin's conduct#IF he got a solid 8 hours of sleep + 2 hours minimum JUST to himself everyday uninterrupted... I just know things would turn out different#like it isn't even asking for much. decent sleep + a frankly sad amount of down-time. and yet. I know he didn't get that w those 3 jobs#ugh#he must have been TIRED do you hear me#even applies to morgana she looked tired tbh. those prophetic dreams probably weren't great for restfulness. sad what she did but#she did seem sleepy#okay ignore this I am going through it. extrinsic intrinsic coagulation pathways have gotten to me if u know what I mean#actually wait no if anyone sees this don't ignore it#HE MUST HAVE BEEN SO SLEEPY and everyone must understand. SLEEPy.#I hope I do not wake up and reread this and wonder why I posted this. but like I feel like I am the correctest person on planet earth rn#I've been thinking abt merlin's nap deprived state for years now tbh#merlin#bbc merlin
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Goodbye Krakoa. Stay dead bitch. No more mutant islands.
Can we stop making ethnostates now like can we stop doing that in comics. Can we not keep saying "minorities are safe nowhere but in their own country that doesn't let certain people and also they might not even be safe because Evil People might get jealous and kill them". Ultimately this era has done nothing to explore why ethnostates are bad in any real way. It has done nothing to actually explore how being complicit in the creation of an ethnostate is a Bad Thing. We had some events but we didn't explore anything because we were too scared of making some of our faves look bad. I just actually hate the statements this era has ended up saying and I hate the fact that heroic characters are mourning over the loss of an ethnostate founded by eugenicists. These politics are ugly. And worse yet I see people mourning the loss of the fictional ethnostate like have we all lost our minds.
#brieuc.txt#further rant below#krakoa#xmen#negativity#i suppose.....#I'm tired so apologies if this isnt articulated#I just really feel frustrated with everything in this era#And I hope it stays gone frankly#this was simply too ambitious a project to be shared by that many creatives#this is something that needs to be written by one person I think and its been proven by how messy this wrapping up is#my feelings towards the clear 90s nostalgia are complex and generally negative but fuck dude. I'm glad the ethnostate is gone#because having heroic characters be sympathetic and loyal to an ethnostate is bad. It's fucking bad.
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hey, random person on the internet, maybe don't do this?
#shoot from the hip#sorry if this is a little too serious :(#but it really is something that annoys me#like I just don't get how people find this funny#am I just taking things too seriously? probably#is it just a small edit that doesn't warrant a whole post to be made about it? again probably#is it a good use of my time and energy to get mad at the person for making the edit? absolutely not#but frankly I don't care#between this and that one “racism” edit on luke's page I'm getting tired of humouring these people's malicious edits#I was able to revert the edit almost immediately so it didn't *really* matter#but it's more so the fact that someone did this to begin with that really bothers me#this fandom is incredible and I'm in no way accusing anyone on here of doing this#honestly I just need a place to vent about my frustration#anyways rant over#(man I hate being serious like this lol praying to god that serious junyu never appears on this blog again)
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I have an aromantic rant within me at any given moment
#romance is in every story and it tires me#because it's not even well done#'they're in love and that explains it' NO IT DOESN'T#no. it doesn't!!!!#you need to show me who they are as individual people#and then you need to show me why they're compatible#and sometimes they're NOT compatible but date anyway! sometimes it goes terribly! and that's the story!!!!#i don't actually mind romance in stories as much as i mind the frankly ridiculous amount of focus people put on it#while ignoring every other aspect of the narrative#THAT i remind#but in the writing itself?? what i mind is poor execution#there's a certain level of lovey doveyness that definitely triggers my romance repulsion but i don't go for super lovey dovey genres#due to who i am as a person#so i don't encounter that as much#just. i don't know. it's not a given#so much of writing is presenting an argument#and when it doesn't land it's often because it was a poorly made argument#this applies to character dynamics too#i will not automatically agree that a given character dynamic is good just because 'boy meets girl waow'#you need to convince me#and brother half the time I'm not convinced#queer ships can also be lame and not land right but historically i vibe with them way more#because there's not as much of them and more of them is always good#while there are far too many normative relationships in media 'just because'
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"proship dni" this, "comship dni" that, "neutral dni" unfortunately the people you don't like are still human and deserve comfort. my fucking god shut the hell up you're just as annoying as they are and protest WAY too much about it. go unlearn your purity morality shit
#i dont even KNOW what comship means man#but im so tired of reading every instance of this under the sun with every post about selfshipping#like you realize a good CHUNK of the selfshipping community is going to BE them because they're already otherwise normally ostracized from#their communities for other reasons including being neurodivergent.#they deserve comfort too good lord shut the fuck up with the holier-than-thou “i'm better than you” attitude you're really fucking not and#frankly i'm more suspicious of people like you having something to hide about what they like and dislike#i'm neither pro nor anti nor neutral i'm just a human fucking being that stopped giving a shit about stuff that truly does not matter and#won't affect me in the long run. i'm an adult with more serious things to worry about.#it's like seeing the damn “dni” banners everywhere You Are Annoying.#also it's not like i like anything particularly 'heinous' anyways or pedophilic and i shouldn't need to clarify this but apparently i do!#i'm just sick of this purity culture bullshit i REALLY am#whether u want to hear this or not it is queerphobic and ableist. do u understand? cool.#proship#comship#f/o#selfship#selfshipping
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elliotte said that if anyone was going to be traded yesterday it would've been petey and the SABRES are very interested lol... lmao even
#canucks lb#i am not moved but i am a little on edge and frankly i think that's a vile thing to be after hearing anything that loser says#i'm just a girl standing in front of a hockey team's front office asking them to love her bald blonde gf....#get jt OFF my team already i can't keep fighting in rumored trade wars for the blondes. i'm so tired of this grandpa#i CANNOT FOLLOW HER THERE PLEASE PLEAK PLEASE
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Augh
#fancy is really struggling#and the babies are lovely and just FASCINATING in how they developed around but not shaped by humans and i so very deeply enjoy them#but they are also a little ungovernable due to their age and general lack of caring about rules and they are bothersome and rowdy#and it is obviously so so hard on her and my heart is breaking because im afraid we wont be able to get her through this#and i will have to give the babies up#and...not have another cat#just one#i would be crushed#and added to all of that is that the babies are taking their time learning to be pets and that is fine and wonderful actually#but...i need surgery on at least one ankle and i won't be able to keep up with them if things haven't sorted themselves out by then#and they haven't become more manageable and fancy hasn't adjusted#so we are asking about meds for poor fancy and hoping that works#but she's really having a hard time guys and i am fighting so hard to cope in a household where i spend most of my time alone#with two animals who don't love me yet or interact with me like pets (i'm a source of three things: food and snuggles on demand and NO STOP#and one who is sad and not herself#and frankly it's terrible that i can't fix this#and i am trying not to lose my shit but this wasn't supposed to be so hard#and im afraid i may lose five cats and not three#and im already barely holding on#i don't know what to do and neither does my boyfriend#i don't want to turn around and have to tell you guys we can't keep the babies#i feel like i am failing at something i am supposed to be GOOD AT#i don't want to be in a house so empty#i can't live like that#having the babies is lovely#they're so alive and the boys were so sick by the end and the stress of the constant anxiety and grief as they faded away was crushing#even before they died#it's been so good to have them running about#i don't want to LOSE that#im so tired of LOSING things
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to be quite honest. shipping with CANON (not headcanoned) exclusively gay/lesbian characters as someone of the gender they are explicitly not attracted to is a form of erasure and lowkey homophobic. 'just make them bi' is a bad take. bi people are amazing and valid but not everyone is bisexual??? 'theyre not real' is a bad take bc representation matters and i feel like that doesnt really need to be said. obviously the character isnt real and isnt offended but gay/lesbian selfshippers can see how much you dont gaf abt their identities. gay people exist in real life too!!! homophobia is still so acceptable in fandom spaces and its kinda wild.
Actually this one gets to skip the queue because we just had another anon push their luck about this. I WAS originally going to leave this in queue but now feels like a better time to nip this in the bud.
This is the LAST thing I'm saying about this topic because frankly it's the majority of what we've been getting recently and it's exhausting. All future asks about this topic WILL be deleted. AS STATED ABOVE. DO WHAT YOU WANT FOREVER. YOUR EXPERIENCE IS YOURS AND YOURS ALONE.
TAKING POTSHOTS AT EACH OTHER IS NOT A CONFESSION.
THAT'S CALLED BEING AN ASSHOLE.
k thanks bye
#No offense to this anon or any of the prevs but I'm just so fucking tired of this topic. and so are other mods. seriously. drop it. now.#signed an agender lesbian in real life that's main f/o is just some guy. trust me when i say we don't actually care that much. not that dee#other queer selfshippers: if you're bothered by someone minding their own business. please for the love of EVERYTHING just block them.#if they're actively going out of their way to bother you or ACTIVELY SAYING SOMETHING BIGOTED THEN YES THAT'S AN ISSUE#but if they're just. sitting there. they're fine. block and move on I IMPLORE. LIKE SERIOUSLY. COME ON NOW.#For all you fucking know this could be someone's gateway into figuring out their own identity. we talk constantly about the sexuality aspec#but the amount of people I've seen figure out their GENDER because they selfshipped with someone that 'wouldn't normally be into them' is#frankly not a number you can just ignore. like are we forgetting 'fujoshi' culture that a lot of trans people found themselves from???#Seriously. I'm at a loss for words and frankly just disappointed. Considering officially blacklisting this because this is NOT worth it.#*deep. can you TELL I'm fucking tired of this?#already had one person try to start shit about 'not REALLY being gay/lesbian' because of selfshipping with an opposite gender character#I am NOT tolerating that shit on this blog. NONE of us will.#genuinely if something possess you to try and place yourself as an authority on OTHER PEOPLE'S IDENTITIES. *TOUCH. GRASS.* I AM SO SERIOUS.#LITERALLY NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS. QUEER PEOPLE IRL: HEY MAN HOW'S IT GOING.#<< HEY BTW IF YOU SENT THAT AND/OR THE SECOND ASK ABOUT THAT COUNT YOUR LUCKY STARS WE'RE FAR MORE FORGIVING AND YOU'RE NOT IP BLOCKED YET.#Literally please grow up and learn from this. Talk to LITERALLY any other queer people outside of your bubble for fucks sake.#skips the queue#THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE POSTED LATER TODAY. CAN WE PLEASE GO MORE THAN 2 SECONDS?!
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the tl;dr of that 1500-word post is this:
the zodiac is fundamentally a timekeeping system, where the signs are defined as 12 equal divisions of the solar year, with the four cardinal signs (aries, cancer, libra, capricorn) defined as beginning at the equinox and solstice points; the names are mnemonic devices and have nothing to do with the physical constellation boundaries...
...therefore ophiuchus is not "the new thirteenth zodiac sign"...
...and the decision to tie the zodiac points to the equinoxes instead of to the position of the original reference stars was deliberate and not because ancient astronomers didn't know about axial precession.
in fact, vedic astrologers have been correcting for axial precession for centuries, because they use a space-based sidereal zodiac instead of the western time-based tropical zodiac; because the current sidereal position of the vernal equinox point, and thus the relative position of the sign boundaries, is in the constellation pisces, the same objective position of the sun (or any other planet) in a birth chart will have different names depending on what zodiac system you're using.
so if the mismatch between the tropical signs and the constellation boundaries really, really bothers you, maybe try looking into vedic? they've got two extra planets, too!
but criticizing the tropical zodiac for not correcting for axial precession is like criticizing a cat for being bad at barking.
#astrology#original#i promise i am done talking about this now i'm sorry that article just pisses me off so much#every couple of years someone finds out about axial precession and flips the fuck out i'm so tired of it#it betrays a fundamental misunderstanding of the entire system#which is frankly due to a fundamental failure in the way people talk about and teach astrology in general#both the mathematics behind the system#and the way people use it like fucking myers-briggs or harry potter houses#it's goddamn divination y'all it's not a fucking personality test#stop trying to reinvent eugenics and calling it queer culture! having a scorpio sun is not an ontological moral failing!
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Been thinking abt this a bit lately, and I haven't wholly committed, but if for no other reason than curiosity's sake, if I did some sort of like, romance hc / self ship focused "ask event" on my ship blog, would that be smth anyone's interested in?
#on one hand. it's just not smth im personally interested in at all. but on the other. I love to yap abt my guys and frankly ppl just don't#seem all that interested in them when it's not romantic#and that's not to complain per se. guess it just makes me a little sad since it's like the circles that I'm in don't really overlap with#many others in this fandom. I think a good middle ground would be doing an ask thing like this on my side blog for stuff more of this#nature. nature. And having it just be a temporary thing. I don't want ppl to associate me w/ selfship stuff bc it's not smth I care abt#much beyond enjoying talking abt my Various Guys in almost any capacity#<- trying so hard not to sound like a hater I love self shipping I think it's great I just don't do it and don't wanna be boxed into a#corner where ppl are asking me/making requests for this stuff exclusively bc that'd. Not be fun for me!#like...I'd like to entertain it a *little*. Just a little. Any only if it'd be fun for everyone yk?#rambling. ough.#I'm tired. if you couldn't tell. I'm super tired and it's almost 4am here#sunny with clouds#maybe delete later if the Shame gets me
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i've missed so much stuff lately, a few trades, rumours 🤨 never thought that'd happen, considering how plugged in i am to sports news.. LMAO
#didn't intend on that btw idk why my timelines stopped showing sports all of a sudden#like all of them everywhere. it just stopped#but i'm locking back in today#or at least i'm trying 🤠#my mind has been elsewhere#not in very happy places frankly#i've been keeping myself busy and distracted with those breach news and tracklists going around and finishing tv shows#this is us.............. i have 1ep left and i'm a mess every time i watch this damn show#the amount of crying i do is insane. you'd think something terrible just happened to me#the way i almost never cry at shows or movies but this one....... GETS ME#i don't do well with time / timing and family or friendship stuff in general#i need to just get through it so i can finally look up stuff online and read about everything and everyone !!!!!!!!! except mandy#and like i HAVE to already be in a sad state but still feel strong enough to be able to handle it otherwise i can't watch#if i'm happy and doing well it'll ruin it 🤠 if i'm too sad i won't recover 🤠#anyway. i've been very very very very tired these days. very tired. and my seasonal depression and social anxiety are both flaring up.#but we move!! it's ok!!! i've done a lot of progress and work on myself that i'm a bit more stable so i can handle it better#i just need a looooooot of sleep and rest and hopefully i can get that in july#this month was TOUGH i've done so much. so much#rants#**
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i really am trying very hard to get better at not caring what people think of me but ummm. being rejected by my peers does still hurt a little!
#i was in my calculus class today and i was in a group with four people and like.#i could REALLY feel them not wanting to talk to me or kind of look at me much either#and also the first day of class our professor was making us do icebreakers (horrible) and i ended up being the only member of one group#just like. by chance. i guess nobody else in the class has the same birthday month as i do#and our professor was like ok do you want to go with the october group then?#and someone from the october group loudly went NO!!#and i am. unsure of how much he was joking!#idk idk idk i already feel like kind of a little freak everywhere i go#so sometimes being reminded that other people ALSO think i'm a little freak (not affectionate) is a little. achey#anyways i think i handled the october rejection pretty well i made a joke out of it but. ouchies#god. i have been awake since 6:45 this morning. i am very tired. and frankly i would very much like a hug or something!
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I'm so SO fucking mad right now I need to throttle my fucking aunt
Sorry in advance, this is about dog shit and a shit for brains adult who should fucking know better
She drops the dog off in my room, on my bed so she can go shopping or whatever, standard, albeit annoying because she always drops the dog on my bed
TODAY though!!!! I am IMMEDIATELY woken up by the stench of shit!!! And it's VERY FUCKING CLEAR, the dog is having the runs right now!!! So now I'm jolted up awake and take her outside, awake and mad as hell, and I angrily tell her she just dropped off the dog having the runs, and in her usual stupid unobservant manner says she didn't know! So I take the dog back inside and clean her off while my aunt went to go shopping, and I go back to find shit on my pillow, on my bed and on my. Fucking. Phone. And charger. And also my shirt. So now I'm very fucking awake and very fucking mad as hell having to clean out my phone and charger best I can and my aunt is very goddamn lucky it didn't get into the phone(That I've only had for 3 weeks!!) so I had to take off my bedding, my shirt and my very hard to put on pillow case and throw it into the washing machine
I have told her and shown her MANY of fucking times what to look for when the dog is having the runs/needs to go outside, and as always she never fucking ever paid attention, because her brains are full of shit too and I'm sure she will learn nothing from this
#thankfully its on her bed too. so she gets to wait to wash her shit out when she gets home#locking my door because I have some very choice words that quite frankly know would not be a good idea when she gets home#and had to make sure everything else was fucking cleaned up or else Grandma would throw a bigger Bitch Fit than I'm throwing and she didn't#have to deal with this shit at all#I'm tired y'all. and not just in the sleepy sense#sorry y'all had to see me throw a fit over dog shit on ur dash but I needed to throw it somewhere so I don't throw hands with a 65 year old#bc boy do I want to!!!! so badly!!!!!#I'm gonna try to go back to fucking sleep#I'm tired of her ever growing stupidity. lack of consideration and lack of observation for really anything
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The thing is "forced diversity" only became a real thing after people online got called out for only ever having like white ocs or just Never making women [ESPECIALLY TRANS WOMEN] and now sometimes I see a character lineup and its like Oh I can like actively see the diversity checklist you were crossing off in your head specifically to try and get tumblr woke points because you are being so fucking Weird about this. Like in an effort to be like LOOK LOOK AT HOW DIVERSE MY CAST IS I AM ADVERTISING THIS BY JUST TELLING YOU ABOUT HOW DIVERSE EVERYONE IS YOU DON'T NEED TO KNOW GENRE OR THEMES they make it so clear that making characters of color or women or disabled characters etc has to be a Conscious Choice instead of just. Something that comes naturally because that reflects our real world.
#Sorry I started thinking about that fuck ass paranormal park or whatever show#Makes a character who is a fat trans man. Makes his last name FUCKING GUTTMAN.#and again like. The complete performativeness of Woke Anachronisms#Like sorry man. If you make Sir Arthur and his knights do a pronoun circle thats stupid#The fact of the matter is a lot of the terms we use to describe things are new!#Like you don't have to have a character state every minute detail of themselves to be good rep#And frankly as someone who doesn't tend to bring things up unless its relevant like#I want more rep for people like me pleaaaaaase#There are so many of us that don't feel the need to be open with Strangers abt gender/sexuality/abled status/culture#like. It just isn't other peoples business!#I need to log off before I go on a tangent about how much I also fucking hate pronoun circles#I have to do them so much in college. Please. Please I'm so tired of how weird people are#If someone wants to know they can Ask Me stop making me choose between#Outting myself to the whole damn room or misgendering myself if the vibes aren't right#ANYWAYS. Bed time yaaaay ^w^#chittering
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