#and frankly I'm just so tired
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Ahhhh I am so here for all of your WIPs, and now I must know more about âRebecca Stark the Wolf Kingâ if you want to talk about it!
WIP Ask Game
(The main file in this is called 'Robb Stark Now Has a Vagina' just FYI)
There's so many files in my folder that have been languishing for YEARS that I've deleted out so many, and saved a few that I feel very partial to!
So Rebecca Stark was my genderbent Robb Stark AU from.... a decade ago? (yeah this is 2013). She was marrying one of the Royces, Robert Baratheon was being a little weird. I had Kristen Stewart a'la Snow White as the face claim because it fit SO WELL and I made some amazing photoshop art for it (and my first time giffing! and I still have those on my desktop).
Here's a snippet behind the cut!
Father had ventured in his slightly awkward way he had whenever he was forced to remember that his oldest, his âBexâ, was in fact a woman. He had simply asked what she had thought of Prince Joffrey.
Rebecca did not care for falsehoods but she understood dangerous grounds. So she had answered carefully that she couldnât actually say whether or not she cared for him as she didnât know him.Â
âThere you are.â
She glanced up to see her mother coming toward her and she spared her a smile. âAre you sisters taken-- Rebecca! Why isnât he outside?â
Grey Wind looked up at Catelyn curiously, a whine in the back of his throat and Rebecca shrugged. âIt felt safer with him.â
âSafer? That wolf needs to get outside, Rebecca. I told you.âÂ
Rebecca sucked in her lower lip and thought of how in the torchlight the lines on her motherâs face look deeper and more abundant. There is the slightest wisp of silver at her crown and how queenly her mother looks compared to Cersei Lannister. âItâs not like weâre hosting Lord Bolton and his flayed banners.â She wanted to tell her the truth -- that the King makes her uncomfortable. That the Queenâs eyes pierced her back every time she walked past and thereâs nothing she could do about it except hide and it isnât an option.
Her motherâs hand was warm as it slid across her shoulders, her arm a gentle and comforting weight as Catelyn led them into Rebeccaâs bedroom, sitting her down at the dressing table. Rebecca looked at their reflections as she watched her mother reach for the comb to work on binding back her thick, dark hair. The sensation of her motherâs nails against her scalp soothed her and Grew Wind pads to the fireplace and curls up on the rug behind them.
Sometimes if Rebecca looked hard enough she could see the similarities in them. The reddish hue to her dark locks had faded over time but their eyes are the same pale green. The same nose, the same Tully jaw. Rebecca remembered sitting in front of the mirror as a child trying to mimic her motherâs stern looks in a way to get her siblings to listen to her.
âSmile more, Rebecca. A lady should always smile.â
Most of Catelynâs lines were from her warm smiles. The dimples in her cheeks were evidence of that, the little wrinkles in the corners of her eyes and yet that is where her Stark rears itâs head again. Stern dourness that makes the Stark so sullen.
Queen Cersei looks dour, she thought. Starks look reticent. Serious. Regla rulers of the North.
Frigid Starks, Theonâs teasing voice filters. Ice Queen.
#oc: rebecca stark#thank you for the ask!#much like project ironwolf#I have no idea how these would work out since we don't know how ASOIAF ends#and frankly I'm just so tired#also there's just so much
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Learning to celebrate the little wins!
#fersona#While I don't have the capacity to do Hourly Comics Day#I did journal my day hour-by-hour and the sheer difference in my self-care and routines is *staggering*.#Honestly both Feb 1 2024 and 2025 were rough days...but this year I had a far better outlook on it all.#The funny part is that when I drew this a few days ago I actually *was* celebrating not crying.#Might have still cried on Feb 1st. A meagre 4 times. But I also had lot of good moments!#January is a very hard month for me and frankly I've been in a fugue state for most of it.#Drawing helped me pull through these last 2 years but this year I've been finding myself so upset at how I can't seem to focus anymore.#So updates and posts have been slow. I'm just slow. I'm tired and burnt out from work and grieving.#But you know what? The days I do manage to post; I'm never shamed for how long it took. You're all just as excited and kind.#I'm coming home and eating better and sleeping more and spending time with loved ones.#This is all to say; you can be a lot happier when you realize that life can be taken a little slower.#I'm more grateful that words can possibly convey.#If you related to the mindset of constantly feeling like you've 'failed' the day; please know you have done more than you realize.#I'm struggling with it everyday! I'm in the trenches with you!#Life is too short and painful to not celebrate what you *do* accomplish! It's hard work but it is worth it!#Bit by bit...we will learn to live. *Really* live. And enjoy it!
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The thing no one ever considers while writing up character analyses about Merlin is that. he must have been sooooooo sleepy.
#I see everyone talking about the nuances when you look at Merlin through [x] lens#BUT WHAT ABOUT THE SLEEPY LENS#WE CANâT KEEP SLEEPING ON THE SLEEPY LENS#(can u tell I'm exhausted)#see this reads as if I'm joking but I'm actually being SO serious. I think the lack of rest was a significant factor in Merlin's conduct#IF he got a solid 8 hours of sleep + 2 hours minimum JUST to himself everyday uninterrupted... I just know things would turn out different#like it isn't even asking for much. decent sleep + a frankly sad amount of down-time. and yet. I know he didn't get that w those 3 jobs#ugh#he must have been TIRED do you hear me#even applies to morgana she looked tired tbh. those prophetic dreams probably weren't great for restfulness. sad what she did but#she did seem sleepy#okay ignore this I am going through it. extrinsic intrinsic coagulation pathways have gotten to me if u know what I mean#actually wait no if anyone sees this don't ignore it#HE MUST HAVE BEEN SO SLEEPY and everyone must understand. SLEEPy.#I hope I do not wake up and reread this and wonder why I posted this. but like I feel like I am the correctest person on planet earth rn#I've been thinking abt merlin's nap deprived state for years now tbh#merlin#bbc merlin
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Goodbye Krakoa. Stay dead bitch. No more mutant islands.
Can we stop making ethnostates now like can we stop doing that in comics. Can we not keep saying "minorities are safe nowhere but in their own country that doesn't let certain people and also they might not even be safe because Evil People might get jealous and kill them". Ultimately this era has done nothing to explore why ethnostates are bad in any real way. It has done nothing to actually explore how being complicit in the creation of an ethnostate is a Bad Thing. We had some events but we didn't explore anything because we were too scared of making some of our faves look bad. I just actually hate the statements this era has ended up saying and I hate the fact that heroic characters are mourning over the loss of an ethnostate founded by eugenicists. These politics are ugly. And worse yet I see people mourning the loss of the fictional ethnostate like have we all lost our minds.
#brieuc.txt#further rant below#krakoa#xmen#negativity#i suppose.....#I'm tired so apologies if this isnt articulated#I just really feel frustrated with everything in this era#And I hope it stays gone frankly#this was simply too ambitious a project to be shared by that many creatives#this is something that needs to be written by one person I think and its been proven by how messy this wrapping up is#my feelings towards the clear 90s nostalgia are complex and generally negative but fuck dude. I'm glad the ethnostate is gone#because having heroic characters be sympathetic and loyal to an ethnostate is bad. It's fucking bad.
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hey, random person on the internet, maybe don't do this?
#shoot from the hip#sorry if this is a little too serious :(#but it really is something that annoys me#like I just don't get how people find this funny#am I just taking things too seriously? probably#is it just a small edit that doesn't warrant a whole post to be made about it? again probably#is it a good use of my time and energy to get mad at the person for making the edit? absolutely not#but frankly I don't care#between this and that one âracismâ edit on luke's page I'm getting tired of humouring these people's malicious edits#I was able to revert the edit almost immediately so it didn't *really* matter#but it's more so the fact that someone did this to begin with that really bothers me#this fandom is incredible and I'm in no way accusing anyone on here of doing this#honestly I just need a place to vent about my frustration#anyways rant over#(man I hate being serious like this lol praying to god that serious junyu never appears on this blog again)
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"proship dni" this, "comship dni" that, "neutral dni" unfortunately the people you don't like are still human and deserve comfort. my fucking god shut the hell up you're just as annoying as they are and protest WAY too much about it. go unlearn your purity morality shit
#i dont even KNOW what comship means man#but im so tired of reading every instance of this under the sun with every post about selfshipping#like you realize a good CHUNK of the selfshipping community is going to BE them because they're already otherwise normally ostracized from#their communities for other reasons including being neurodivergent.#they deserve comfort too good lord shut the fuck up with the holier-than-thou âi'm better than youâ attitude you're really fucking not and#frankly i'm more suspicious of people like you having something to hide about what they like and dislike#i'm neither pro nor anti nor neutral i'm just a human fucking being that stopped giving a shit about stuff that truly does not matter and#won't affect me in the long run. i'm an adult with more serious things to worry about.#it's like seeing the damn âdniâ banners everywhere You Are Annoying.#also it's not like i like anything particularly 'heinous' anyways or pedophilic and i shouldn't need to clarify this but apparently i do!#i'm just sick of this purity culture bullshit i REALLY am#whether u want to hear this or not it is queerphobic and ableist. do u understand? cool.#proship#comship#f/o#selfship#selfshipping
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elliotte said that if anyone was going to be traded yesterday it would've been petey and the SABRES are very interested lol... lmao even
#canucks lb#i am not moved but i am a little on edge and frankly i think that's a vile thing to be after hearing anything that loser says#i'm just a girl standing in front of a hockey team's front office asking them to love her bald blonde gf....#get jt OFF my team already i can't keep fighting in rumored trade wars for the blondes. i'm so tired of this grandpa#i CANNOT FOLLOW HER THERE PLEASE PLEAK PLEASE
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still hating on s2 a literal year after it came out? yikes. embarrassing.
#emynn.op#genuinely the fastest way to get blocked by me these days tbh#obviously you don't have to like it - taste is subjective - yada yada#but you'd think if you didn't care for it you'd just.........move on?#ESPECIALLY people complaining about things that we know now were due to significant budget cuts#are you not tired?#bc I'M fucking tired of hearing about it#anyway#block block block#I try not to whine on main but frankly I'm v grumpy and it's been an extremely hard year#and I'm very much dreading this week#so I think I deserve a little whining#as a treat
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Augh
#fancy is really struggling#and the babies are lovely and just FASCINATING in how they developed around but not shaped by humans and i so very deeply enjoy them#but they are also a little ungovernable due to their age and general lack of caring about rules and they are bothersome and rowdy#and it is obviously so so hard on her and my heart is breaking because im afraid we wont be able to get her through this#and i will have to give the babies up#and...not have another cat#just one#i would be crushed#and added to all of that is that the babies are taking their time learning to be pets and that is fine and wonderful actually#but...i need surgery on at least one ankle and i won't be able to keep up with them if things haven't sorted themselves out by then#and they haven't become more manageable and fancy hasn't adjusted#so we are asking about meds for poor fancy and hoping that works#but she's really having a hard time guys and i am fighting so hard to cope in a household where i spend most of my time alone#with two animals who don't love me yet or interact with me like pets (i'm a source of three things: food and snuggles on demand and NO STOP#and one who is sad and not herself#and frankly it's terrible that i can't fix this#and i am trying not to lose my shit but this wasn't supposed to be so hard#and im afraid i may lose five cats and not three#and im already barely holding on#i don't know what to do and neither does my boyfriend#i don't want to turn around and have to tell you guys we can't keep the babies#i feel like i am failing at something i am supposed to be GOOD AT#i don't want to be in a house so empty#i can't live like that#having the babies is lovely#they're so alive and the boys were so sick by the end and the stress of the constant anxiety and grief as they faded away was crushing#even before they died#it's been so good to have them running about#i don't want to LOSE that#im so tired of LOSING things
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I realized that A Crown of Candy is actually the first time I've watched Zac Oyama play D&D, and it's frankly been wild watching how masterfully and quickly he sets up Lapin and the depths of this rabbit. I know it's been said that Zac's an excellent player, but it's one thing to hear and another to actually witness.
I feel like it probably shouldn't surprise anyone that the liar spellcaster with the religious bullshit is my favorite right off the bat, but it's funny because the first introduction of him did not endear me to him whatsoever, and in fact kind of off-put me, but every further piece of information about him, and in fact many of his offhand comments, feels like picking up a log on the ground and finding an entire microbiome underneath.
#yes I do know that his fate is not kind and frankly that makes it even better for me#I don't know how it happens (do not spoil it pls. I'm watching so slowly okay.) but regardless it feels fitting#also I was watching slowly but I will probably get through it faster now that I have motivation lol#me constantly: it's literally not that much content. just fucking watch it.#also me: but... I am so tired.... and so distracted..........#lapin cadbury#acoc#dimension 20
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ngl it makes me want to die a little bit that it's so often trans people who feel that sex is mutable but oppression is always-forever based on asab in ways that allow them to demand that information from other trans people. like it feels fucking bad. it feels bad when it's people holding up someone who posts a lot of selfies as transition goals to a degree they have to clarify what they have or haven't done or what "direction" they're going in, it feels worse when people are out there like "caster semenya is not tma" or whatever the fuck. i am, as always, not a trans woman, but here's a sentiment echoed by many of the trans women around me who log the fuck off, quoted directly from one: "people who draw a clear line where they say that semenya or khelif are tme and then call me tma are just calling me male at this point".
like i get it. i really do. we seek community and shared experiences, and we feel betrayed when people have less in common with us than we thought they did. [*more on this later.] but that's not those people's faults and my god in the case i'm seeing play out on twitter rn this poor person did absolutely nothing to intentionally mislead people, just posted pictures of their actual kid self. who looks a lot like i did, because shockingly enough "we can always tell" doesn't fucking work for trans people either!
on the one hand i move in intersex circles which are unapologetically welcoming in cis "dyadic" people with pcos, because it serves nobody to draw a clear line where mutilation or genetics or some ineffable childhood suffering are what make somebody intersex, especially when most of us (esp in places like nz) have never been karyotyped and are being treated for symptoms without a pinned-down cause anyway. the more of us there are the stronger we are, the more pressure we can exert on a medical profession which doesn't like to consider how common outliers are, how uneasy sex is at all. and then on the other hand there's dyadic trans people on the internet who've yelled me out of spaces because a couple of traumatised incarcerated trans women i worked with as a prison abolitionist assumed i was also a trans woman and i didn't immediately tell them my entire csa-involved history of being sexed in varying ways as an infant and child and/or exactly how big my phallus was at birth or where in my junk config my urethra lives so they could decide i was tme or whatever.
returning to the * for a related but not identical thought: i think presuming shared experiences leads to some fucked shit in general! "oh we all had a radfem phase" or "oh we all were channers" no we fucking weren't and it's particularly obnoxious when me & mine are trying to build trans community locally to organise and resist the growing wave of far-right backlash against our existence, and there's just white people in there on a spectrum from "straight up being antisemitic and trying to get the n-word pass" through "handwringing about how they need to make space for people who aren't politically correct" to "handwringing about how brown people are right to be mad at them but doing shit fuckall". and then the other fucking brown people in the space are on some identity politics shit where they're like "trans joy inherently excludes those of us who could get deported" or "big city white queers are killing us by being visible instead of going stealth bc it stirs up the discourse" or whatever the fuck i've heard pulled out this year. there's a bunch of reasons i primarily organise outside of trans spaces and that's one of them. i've never felt more alone in spaces where people claim we're all the same than being left as the brownest moderator or organiser in a space full of people to whom "this is a safe trans space" apparently means they get to abdicate all other responsibilities not to lapse into presumed shared patterns that are fucking racist or otherwise alienating. i've never felt more alone than surrounded by exclusively trans people who sort people into boxes and assume everyone in those boxes has the transition goals they have. like i was on cypro until it disagreed with me to the point of endocrine crisis and now i'm on t and at both those points people were so fucking presumptive or entitled to my reasons or journey or personal relationship w my body
literally just submitted on (and was invited to consult on) the nz law commission's review of the human rights act and like. it's straight up fucked how many nz trans people fully do not comprehend that any "sex assigned at birth" type definitions fundamentally exclude migrants who have no way of proving it and many intersex people who happen to have been reassigned later or many times or never assigned at all as a baby. we can't make law with this shit and that's why we have to have symmetrical protections for all genders/sexes/expressions/presentations, bc naming and defining a protected class here often leaves the people who already are left out from those shared experiences of marginalisation out in the cold when they face violence
#reblogs turned off because obviously i'm already bracing to be pilloried for saying one thing not quite correctly or whatever#and also bc i have zero interest in having this be boosted by trans dudes on their own transandrophobia agenda either#i'm just venting#but frankly the first time i got yelled at for saying that as an intersex person some of the immense violence i experienced as a child#was motivated by transmisogyny#i was a teenager and it was someone a fair bit older than me with more local clout so like. it's been a decade. how is it worse now.#intersex spaces have made SO much progress and yet#also yes i'm femme! i'm femme in a trans way! many dykes who aren't women are!#many of us got more comfortable w it as adults who had gender agency!#in literally the same way it took my wife ages after transitioning to work out she's also butch and doesn't actually want to do femme thing#bc that's a shared experience in how we've navigated the expectations of womanhood before opting out of the parts we don't want!#anyway the lawcomm shit was fucked bc honestl i don't give a shit if someone lost their gonads as an adult in an accident#they should be protected even if they don't consider themselves intersex#and we know that gender as an axis of oppression comes back to the reproduction of the nuclear family#and that cis women who can't have kids sometimes become the political football though ofc not as much by far and like#idk. y'all ever heard about solidarity? sometimes i feel like i'm back in the place where the loudest traumatised person at the party#is yelling at another young woman like âyou'll never understand what it's like to be a victimâ#when said young woman was assaulted the week before.#a politics that starts by defending and defining oneself w oppression kinda fucking sucks actually#and intersex people stopped policing intersexness by who got mutilated a long time ago#bc actually we want the generations ahead to not get that treatment#and when i see âtrans eldersâ going on about how âif you pass and got on hrt before 18 you're not trans like i amâ i'm like. why! what!#anyway. tired.#may regret this. we shall see#tony muses
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unfortunately the world is too fucking messed up so I am currently unable to give a shit about how messed up everything is because it's all too big and if I get upset about any of it my entire ability to be a person will come crashing in
normal service will resume as soon as possible
#red said#this is not a choice I'm making. to be clear.#it's just that after everything that's happened in the last year or so i am currently incapable of having a feeling beyond 'oh.'#just a kind of blank stare of 'this is certainly information i am recieving'#so I'm giving myself permission. to be numb to the horrors of the world for a short while.#because being mad at myself for not caring enough doesn't seem to be doing much to help and it's sapping me more#so i figure. i just accept that right now i cannot summon any strong reactions to things however much they deserve them#and hopefully a short time of that will help me rekindle my will to fight cause right now frankly I'm getting nowhere#I've still been trying to show up and do what i can but it feels so overwhelmingly pointless i think I'm actively undercutting myself#like I'm actively extending the period in which I can't fully commit myself to any cause or action#i can't even get angry any more and this shit deserves so much anger#but I've been angry for so long i think I've lost track of how to hold it as a live thing#I'm angry about 15 years of social murder in my own country. I'm angry about the ongoing violence against Palestine. I'm angry about Congo.#I'm angry about the death penalty in the US and I'm angry about the ongoing quiet genocide of First Nations people in Canada#and I'm angry about climate change I'm angry that people are burning and freezing around the world. I'm angry and I'm fucking scared#but none of that's GOING anywhere and none of it seems to be worth shit and at some point it just gets ossified#it's not like. a driving force at the moment. it's not propelling me it's not doing anything it's just a constant scab yk#i need. to feel like my anger has any kind of worth or does any kind of good. and that's not there it's just so built up.#i need too flush it out and start with it fresh and keen#cause at this stage yeah I'm just too tired by it to feel it intensely. it's just background noise.#i see the thing about Trump bringing back the federal death penalty or i watch my government debate how best to attack migrants#and I'm just like. 'oh. that's bad. that is a bad thing that's happening.' and i feel nothing#because at this point I'm so used to be information causing anger and fear and hopelessness that it doesn't like. register as a feeling.#this isn't happening about everything. i can still feel things on an interpersonal level. but that like. systems anger.#it's not landing cause i am so struggling emotionally to feel like i can do a single thing with it#like not just stuff happening Over There but here too. people i live being attacked out neglected by structural forces.#I'm succumbing to the 'oh. that's bad.' bc honestly i just have run out of road in being angry#i don't think it's permanent i think I'm just exhausted
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like. . .are any other Polin fans out there that do not give a singular flying fuck about Debling? we should form a club lol because from the very bottom of my heart and with my whole chest: I could not care less about him. Not sorry, I'm tuning into S3 for Pen and Colin and Pen and Colin alone
#polin#penelope featherington#colin bridgerton#like. . .i keep seeing all these theories about debling and i'm going '. . .and?'#someone: what if debling-#me: don't care. when is colin back on screen? i miss my boy#because really. . .who gives a fuck? he's a random oc who's gonna be gone by ep 3?#frankly i don't give a shit about him in any capacity#and tbh. . .like it's not even a contest for me. colin is SO much more attractive and appealing than debling#no shade to the actor i'm sure he's lovely but guys. . .luke newton is SO fucking fine#tired: colin gets jealous of debling because he's courting penelope and thus disapproves of them#wired: colin distrusts debling because he's a vegetarian and colin the foodie cannot trust a man who cuts out an entire food group#inspired: colin is friendly to debling and can always hype pen up around him but debling isn't listening because he's queer and likes him#y'all just 'care' about debling because he has no traits rn and you can turn him into your perfect male oc prize for penelope#'i ship pen with options' and i ship pen with colin. . .you know. . .like a polin shipper. . .crazy how that's. . .how it works#anywhoozle i am first and foremost a hater#fellow haters come join me we meet up on tuesdays and we have snacks
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to be quite honest. shipping with CANON (not headcanoned) exclusively gay/lesbian characters as someone of the gender they are explicitly not attracted to is a form of erasure and lowkey homophobic. 'just make them bi' is a bad take. bi people are amazing and valid but not everyone is bisexual??? 'theyre not real' is a bad take bc representation matters and i feel like that doesnt really need to be said. obviously the character isnt real and isnt offended but gay/lesbian selfshippers can see how much you dont gaf abt their identities. gay people exist in real life too!!! homophobia is still so acceptable in fandom spaces and its kinda wild.
Actually this one gets to skip the queue because we just had another anon push their luck about this. I WAS originally going to leave this in queue but now feels like a better time to nip this in the bud.
This is the LAST thing I'm saying about this topic because frankly it's the majority of what we've been getting recently and it's exhausting. All future asks about this topic WILL be deleted. AS STATED ABOVE. DO WHAT YOU WANT FOREVER. YOUR EXPERIENCE IS YOURS AND YOURS ALONE.
TAKING POTSHOTS AT EACH OTHER IS NOT A CONFESSION.
THAT'S CALLED BEING AN ASSHOLE.
k thanks bye
#No offense to this anon or any of the prevs but I'm just so fucking tired of this topic. and so are other mods. seriously. drop it. now.#signed an agender lesbian in real life that's main f/o is just some guy. trust me when i say we don't actually care that much. not that dee#other queer selfshippers: if you're bothered by someone minding their own business. please for the love of EVERYTHING just block them.#if they're actively going out of their way to bother you or ACTIVELY SAYING SOMETHING BIGOTED THEN YES THAT'S AN ISSUE#but if they're just. sitting there. they're fine. block and move on I IMPLORE. LIKE SERIOUSLY. COME ON NOW.#For all you fucking know this could be someone's gateway into figuring out their own identity. we talk constantly about the sexuality aspec#but the amount of people I've seen figure out their GENDER because they selfshipped with someone that 'wouldn't normally be into them' is#frankly not a number you can just ignore. like are we forgetting 'fujoshi' culture that a lot of trans people found themselves from???#Seriously. I'm at a loss for words and frankly just disappointed. Considering officially blacklisting this because this is NOT worth it.#*deep. can you TELL I'm fucking tired of this?#already had one person try to start shit about 'not REALLY being gay/lesbian' because of selfshipping with an opposite gender character#I am NOT tolerating that shit on this blog. NONE of us will.#genuinely if something possess you to try and place yourself as an authority on OTHER PEOPLE'S IDENTITIES. *TOUCH. GRASS.* I AM SO SERIOUS.#LITERALLY NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS. QUEER PEOPLE IRL: HEY MAN HOW'S IT GOING.#<< HEY BTW IF YOU SENT THAT AND/OR THE SECOND ASK ABOUT THAT COUNT YOUR LUCKY STARS WE'RE FAR MORE FORGIVING AND YOU'RE NOT IP BLOCKED YET.#Literally please grow up and learn from this. Talk to LITERALLY any other queer people outside of your bubble for fucks sake.#skips the queue#THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE POSTED LATER TODAY. CAN WE PLEASE GO MORE THAN 2 SECONDS?!
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#svsss#scum villains self saving system#shang qinghua#how I be feeling these days ahdnfjgkg#I keep stressing about life in general and its seriously bumming me out hajdjg#how nice it would be to not exist#everyday I wake up and do the same things I hate#time hasn't felt real in years and it goes way before covid times#I haven't felt real in most of those years either#Look I'm lucky I'm not like depressed or whatever but frankly this derealization shit is seriously startin to get a little worrying at times#tbf I only really notice it recently so maybe its just a bias#I've been chugging along this way for years all thats changed is my perception of it#but at the same time I really want to do more too#I get I'm a very boring and unreliable person#and I know I just said its my perception of it but like I do genuinely think my social skills my general living just like me mentally ig#I'm kinda deteriorating in my stagnation ig? artistically too but more worrying in my life idbfjg#priorities sorry anyways I also think I do have adhd or something and that rejection thing dhfjgjg I really can't start things anymore#idk I really just feel so clueless in most things now and I'm too scared or too confused or both to start fixing things#like how do I even fix things? what do I even search for in this kind of thing?#Idk I'm just gonna go sleep ig god I'm so tired of everything#I haven't been able to draw I've really lost passion for a lot of things again and everything irritates me#I can't stand my phone sometimes but it's kinda the only thing getting me through it all ha#ngl I wish I were depressed sometimes if only so I'd actually have the balls to do smth but Ik that's just the Metnally Ail part speaking so#chug chug going along#I also have to make wushi before I die. haha#god my life is so empty#what am I even doing#I'm really so tired why can't my life end here already? modern lifespans are too long how am I supposed to keep going on like this?#so pointless and vapid and its just me ? why did it have to be me that was born? couldn't someone else have been here I hate it here so much#I strive for nothing but I have such a long life and so many people to disappoint haha maybe I should go outside more
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the tl;dr of that 1500-word post is this:
the zodiac is fundamentally a timekeeping system, where the signs are defined as 12 equal divisions of the solar year, with the four cardinal signs (aries, cancer, libra, capricorn) defined as beginning at the equinox and solstice points; the names are mnemonic devices and have nothing to do with the physical constellation boundaries...
...therefore ophiuchus is not "the new thirteenth zodiac sign"...
...and the decision to tie the zodiac points to the equinoxes instead of to the position of the original reference stars was deliberate and not because ancient astronomers didn't know about axial precession.
in fact, vedic astrologers have been correcting for axial precession for centuries, because they use a space-based sidereal zodiac instead of the western time-based tropical zodiac; because the current sidereal position of the vernal equinox point, and thus the relative position of the sign boundaries, is in the constellation pisces, the same objective position of the sun (or any other planet) in a birth chart will have different names depending on what zodiac system you're using.
so if the mismatch between the tropical signs and the constellation boundaries really, really bothers you, maybe try looking into vedic? they've got two extra planets, too!
but criticizing the tropical zodiac for not correcting for axial precession is like criticizing a cat for being bad at barking.
#astrology#original#i promise i am done talking about this now i'm sorry that article just pisses me off so much#every couple of years someone finds out about axial precession and flips the fuck out i'm so tired of it#it betrays a fundamental misunderstanding of the entire system#which is frankly due to a fundamental failure in the way people talk about and teach astrology in general#both the mathematics behind the system#and the way people use it like fucking myers-briggs or harry potter houses#it's goddamn divination y'all it's not a fucking personality test#stop trying to reinvent eugenics and calling it queer culture! having a scorpio sun is not an ontological moral failing!
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